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beefboyandbabygirl · 11 months

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Goodbye, Fourth of July (18+)

pairing: lee chan x fem!reader

genre: college au, best friends to lovers, angst w a happy ending, smut (MDNI!!), hints of crack?

description: it's the fourth of july when you realize you're in love with your best friend. unfortunately though, it seems that he doesnt love you back, and this knowledge sends you spiraling. you push him away, but chan just wants to know why you're so upset

warnings: v v sad, pining, brief mention of s/a, chan is kinda dumb in this fr, reader is dramatic af tho, unprotected sex, desperation, praise kink, finger sucking, titty sucking, use of petnames (baby, pretty girl, sweet heart, good girl, cumslut once), mentions of alcohol and weed, irene is chans gf in this but shes not a villain shes mother fr

quotes from my proofreader: "my soul left my body", "no this is too personal", "i feel like im having a panic attack"

wordcount: 8.2k

Fireworks exploded across the sky the night your life was ruined.

Down the gray, dim corridors of your campus where room after room was ablaze with idle lights, daring to imitate the stars above them. Every crevice of the left wing was filled with the noise and decorum of a college frat party, where people lived out their own lives simultaneously to yours - yours, that was shattering into millions of pieces onto Yoon Jeonghan’s kitchen floor. Every moment of teasing, of lingering touches, of adoring smiles, of secret memories and exchanged glances came hurdling onto you on the 4th of July, red solo cup long forgotten in your hand. You were in love with your best friend.

“I’m in love with Chan,” you whispered, looking blankly across the room to see him leaned back against the couch, flashing a bright smile at Mingyu beside him. His blonde mullet - the one, that he had been so terrified to get, and only did so, when you told him he would look great - was tousled and spiky across his neck. He was wearing a red bomber jacket over a white tee, and he looked so good you thought you might cry.

Soonyoung wouldn’t have heard your confession - was it a confession? Admittance? Defeat? - had he not been standing right beside you. He thanked God that your words were not lost to the music and to the ambiance, to lay and die in the sticky, hardwood floor. “What?!”

He was yelling over the music. You turned over to him, mouth cracked into a frown. “What?! You’re in love with Chan?! Seriously?!” He started bouncing and giggling, ignoring your hands coming to grab onto his forearms. He had predicted this exactly five months ago.

“Shut up, Soonyoung, seriously!” You were yelling too, barely overcoming the booming voice of Kesha on the speakers. Bathed in pink light, letting your nails trail over the kitchen counter, you felt your heart becoming soft and trembling.

Your life was ruined.

“What the fuck am I gonna do?” you cried, feeling Soonyoung spin you at your shoulders until he was right in front of you, alcohol dampening the air between you.

“What do you mean? You’re gonna confess to him. You guys are literally in love with each other” He said it as if it was the easiest thing in the world. As if you hadn’t been best friends since freshman year; as if you didn’t know his favorite animal cracker shape and the exact model of his everyday sneakers.

“I can’t do that.”

“Yes, you can.”

“I can?”

“COMINGGG THROUGHHHHHHHH!” Frat-house dork Seokmin pushed between you and Soonyoung with a sky-high Vernon on his trail. Vernon shimmied apologetically, eyes sunken and red. “Getting cross-faded,” he supplied helpfully.

“As you should,” Soonyoung mumbled, slightly peeved in his tone, but Seokmin and Vernon seemed too intensely high to notice his disdain. You were too floaty to be offended by their sudden intrusion. The party, the floor, the music, the stench of sweat had become distant and you felt very alone with your heart. And Kwon Soonyoung, of course.

“You can! Right now! I’ve been telling you for months!” He shook you by your shoulders, apparently sensing your distance. You looked up at him with furrowed brows, tugging at the strapless end of your short, glittery dress. “But he’s-” you inhaled sharply. “He’s not gonna love me back, Soon.” Soonyoung cut you off with a scoff. “He’s so in love with you! He looks at you like you’re the only girl in the…”

Soonyoung trailed off, eyes peering past you into the crowd. “Oh shit,” His eyes widened, settled on you, then flicked back up. What the fuck was he looking at? “Uh, as I was-” you moved to look, struggling against his suddenly deadly grip on your shoulders “- no, don’t look!” He moved to stop you, but it was too late. You scanned the crowd with narrowed eyes, finding yourself confused as to what he’d been crying about. That is until you saw him. Red bomber now discarded, Chan had removed himself from the couch and was currently grinding on your biochem-classmate, Irene.

Oh. Okay.

You felt like cold hands grabbed onto your throat from within, as it contracted and tears stung your eyes. There it went, your heart and all its pieces on the floor, and weighing you down like an anchor, was the knowledge that you’d spend the rest of your life picking them up.

”God fucking damnit. This is awful, I’m awful,” your head was spinning, and you could barely make out how your fishnetted legs started moving, let alone how the tips of Soonyoung’s fingers brushed against your bare back to pull you back to him. You needed to get out. Out, out, out.

You squeezed through the tight crowd, avoiding the gaze of your classmate Seungcheol, who tried to smile at you from where he stood. This had to be some sort of mistake. Some sort of illusion brought upon you by the rhythmic movements and the loose slip of alcohol. Maybe you were hormonal? You didn’t know, but you couldn’t think while some bass-boosted playlist built dams of pressure on the sides of your head.

You finally squeezed through the door, closing it behind you and locking away that cursed, wretched memory. The further you got, the fainter the image of him. By the time you were slipping out of the hallway and into the yard, you could almost convince yourself that it was a mistake. A foolish moment, that you would tuck away and keep in a locked chest.

God, you were cold, shivering in your scrappy fabrics, as you slid down the brick wall by a flower bed, staring into the sky. It was the fourth of July, and your chest had exploded in fireworks while looking at your best friend. Every line had simultaneously been crossed and uncrossed.

You had realized it just a few minutes ago, just standing in the kitchen, when Wonwoo from history had asked you for a lighter. It had just been a graze, but you’d still felt it, in the faraway reaches of your purse. Amongst crumbs, concealer, a couple unraveled cigarettes and wired earphones with only one working side. What was that? You’d handed Wonwoo the lighter and then dug around for it again. A little slip of paper, edges soft and worn. You pulled it up.

It was just a drawing. A little scribbled dinosaur. God, you couldn’t even remember when he’d given it to you. But there you were smiling at it. And then looking at him. And then you knew.

You started crying. Hot, fat tears dripped down your cheeks, and your lips were trembling, and suddenly your body was stuttering and convulsing against the wall, and you were in love with your best friend and he was obviously not in love with you.

“Y/n?”

You snapped your head towards the door and the person you wanted to see the least in that moment (that thought made you cry even more, because when had you ever wanted anyone but him by your side when you were upset?) was peeking his blonde haired head through the door. Chan had such a heavy frown, looking down at you from the wide opened doorway.

“Hey, hey, what’s wrong, sweetheart?” He was immediately crouching down, hand burning hot on your back, stroking the muscles. Another hand on your knee and it was all too much, so you pushed him away. He backed off immediately, and you wished you missed the flash of hurt on his face. He looked at you with so much worry. “What happened?”

He was sitting across from you on the pavement and you couldn’t bear to see him, lit geometrically by the moonlight and the explosions in the sky, brows creased. Averting your eyes, you fiddled with the edge of your dress and sniffled. What were you supposed to say? It was hard to say anything. You fought down the tears pressing at your eyes again, swallowing your emotions before you looked at him again, almost robotically.

“I’m fine,” you said, nodding, and only adding more when his face twisted in confusion. You were always honest with each other, he thought, why were you lying? “It’s stupid, I’m.. I’m on my period and my hormones are just.. Bleugh.” You found it in yourself to giggle.

Silence, only decorated with the constant stream of fireworks and distant laughter of drunk college kids. Chan studied you for a moment, legs crossed and arms slung over his knees. “Cheol said you looked upset.”

“Yeah, I, uh, I was thinking of that sad dog movie.”

Another pause. “Old Yeller.”

The distance between you had never felt wider and you were certain Chan could feel it too.

“You know you can tell me anything right?” You wished your laughter hadn’t been so heart-achingly bitter. He looked so confused. All he wanted to do was make you feel alright, why wouldn’t you let him?

A nod. “Yeah,” you breathed in deeply, tear-streaked makeup drying from the gentle wind. “I know.”

The air had become so thick, you had to gulp down breaths. Chan cocked his head to the side and looked at you soulfully. You were staring at your knees, nervously playing with your fingers, and a flush had crept up your neck to the very tops of your shiny cheeks. He sighed. “I can get, uh,” he hesitated for a moment, “I can get Soonyoung down here. If you want.” You nodded before he was even done talking. Anything was better than sitting across from him - not now. This time you knew better than to look at his face, because you knew your entire facade would break down the moment you’d catch the frown on his face at those words.

The moment Chan left, you sighed so deeply, relief and despair coming in a pair to crash over you like a wave. Soonyoung came not two minutes later and, ever the great comforter, immediately tried to make you laugh, sitting in the grass right in front of you.

“Oh my god,” he put on his best Jennifer Coolidge voice, “you look like the fourth of July!” _____________________________

Your first instinct was to hide - to turn over a stone and lay under it without breathing. Maybe then, if you separated yourself from him the feelings would simply dissipate, like perfume throughout the day. But you and Chan had a ridiculous amount of classes together, - something you used to enjoy and cherish - and every interaction had become half-awkward.

What also didn’t help is that him and Irene did not seem to just be a party fling. You were walking the halls with him, backpack slung across your shoulder, and listening to him drone on and on about a date.

“I think it’s the blonde,” he explained, “I think she likes the blond.” He peeked his eyes over to you, as you walked and you nodded. “It looks good,” you smiled, heart crushing when his face lit up, that sharky smile playing on his lips. “Right? But I don’t know what to wear. I don’t think she liked my jacket. You know, at the party.” At the mention of the party, his giddy expression faded a little, eyes flicking back to look at you again.

You’d been different since then. A little quiet and every word a little strained, every breath a huff, every smile somewhat unable to reach your eyes. He knew something was wrong, but he couldn't figure out what. For the life of him, Chan couldn’t. You’d told him when you got a tampon stuck a couple months ago, you’d told him about your awful dates, about your most embarrassing moments in your life. Something had to be serious, he thought, watching the way your eyes had become darker and sunken, for you to shut him out completely.

“Y/n,” he said and his voice was abruptly so, so soft. His hand came to cradle your own, stopping you in your tracks. Your eyebrows cinched together when you looked at the way his thumb caressed your knuckles. “You are okay, right?” and all of a sudden he was so close to you, head bopping downwards to catch your eyes, a little breath becoming humid on your cheek. For just a split second, he saw how scared you were, an emotion that took up all the space in your head, widened eyes darting up to his. Then it was gone. You smiled a tight line, ripping your hand from his. “I’m good. I’d be better if we actually made it to class on time.”

You were bouncing away and for a few moments he stood still, watching you.

“Alright,” he whispered to himself.

_____________________________

You and Chan met through Seungcheol. It was your first year and you were fresh-faced, young and a totally different person. It was your first biochem project and the teacher had paired you with Seungcheol - Seungcheol, who you just so happened to know was amongst the most popular guys at school. He was sweet though, if not a little slow, but he was excited to get into the project and had invited you to his place to study. You had graciously accepted, seeing as your roommate-situation at the time was less than ideal.

You had just hunkered down with stacks of books and laptops open on his desk, when Seungcheol got a call; to this day you’re not sure about the specifics of it, and all the information you’d later been able to pry from Seungcheol was that “Jeonghan was in trouble”. Whatever the case, the man had taken the phone and immediately taken on a crease in his forehead and a small frown on his lips, before apologizing profusely and promising that he’d be back in 20 minutes or so.

And there you were, wearing a dress and hairclips and sitting idly at his desk, while his roommate sat, just a few feet from you, on his bed with a controller and a headset on. That was the first time you saw Lee Chan. He had sharp eyes that you found intimidating at the time - especially with the focused grimace he wore, something you later found endearing. And, of course, you knew he was popular as well. How couldn’t he be, when his muscles were showing through his t-shirt, and he looked beautiful even in the domestic state you found him in. Maybe especially in that situation.

“D’you wanna see me play?” he’d asked, eyes not even leaving the screen. “Um,” your voice was meek, “sure.”

Seungcheol didn’t come home for another three hours. The sky turned from a bright blue into an orange hue outside the campus-curtains, and you sat cross-legged beside Chan on his bed, watching him play Overwatch. Had it been anyone else, you were sure this would’ve been the longest, most awkward three hours of your life. But for whatever reason, you and Chan just clicked. It was all laughter and smiles, and it felt like you had known each other forever. Fate had whisked the two of you together with a gentle push. That was two years ago.

Chan defied all your expectations. Surely, a young man who was attractive and popular would be an asshole, you’d thought, but he was so sweet, something that was most apparent when he smiled and laughed, eyes becoming crescents and toothy grin becoming sharp at the upturned edges.

Maybe you’d always liked him. You’d started reflecting on your relationship after that party, and came to realize that there’d always been a faint mist in your chest. A soft hum that drummed within your ribcage, when you saw him. It was warm, pleasant and constant when you felt his warmth at your side.

And sure, your relationship had had its moments. You distinctly remembered sitting between his legs while watching a movie once, and how you’d been so uncertain if he was okay with the skinship. His face behind your ear, you heard the smile in his voice, as his hands ran along your arms: “It’s okay, N/n. I’m cool with this if you are.”

You found yourself thinking about that often, but now there was a distinct pain to the memory. It was especially painful, when the gap between you and Chan was widening with every day. He tried to reach out, tried to catch you in the halls, but you were always “busy”.

Chan caught on to the fact that you were avoiding him when you started showing up late to classes, just so you wouldn’t have to walk with him; hear him talk about Irene, while that once soft drum had become a marching band in your chest. So you scrambled inside 5 minutes late, much to the dismay of your professors, and found a spot with some random classmate - far away from Chan. You’d have your eyes turned to the board, but you couldn’t focus, not really. Like a constant thorn in your side, you felt Chan’s sharp eyes across the room, boring into with such an intensity you thought you might catch on fire. Scribbling useless notes and focusing your energy - what little energy you had - on the class, you determinedly avoid his eyes. Had you seen them, never once darting astray from your form, you’d see the tenderness they held. “Why are you avoiding me?” His eyes said.

And then: “Why are you avoiding me?” his mouth said, out of breath from chasing after you in your hurried exit. You turned to him, almost bleeding into the blue of the accented-wallpaper. His eyes softened at your wounded expression. You were gently ripping apart at the wish to see him and be around him, with simultaneous urge to ignore him and become free from his scrutinizing gaze. He would never not know that something was wrong.

He scanned the crowded hallway, and gently, almost as if testing the waters (which he hadn’t felt the need to do in years) placed a hand on your upper arm. “Come on.”

You gave in. God, it was so easy to give in. You missed him. You missed him like a fish might miss water, had it been taken away from it. You missed him like a priest misses God, when his presence ebbs away and the sky is suddenly so very empty. So it was so easy to be led on, to sit down in the passenger of his car and just close your eyes and enjoy how it felt to be beside him. Chan scanned you as he drove, laying there with closed eyes, willing yourself to not look at him again, and realize you had to throw this all away.

He said nothing that entire car ride. Maybe he sensed the desperate need you felt to just have this silence. You clung to it as if it were tangible, as if someone would take it away. He would, once you entered his apartment. Seungcheol was nowhere to be seen. You placed yourself on bed and played with the fraying edges of his IKEA duvet cover.

“I miss you.” he said. You sighed, pursing your lips and looking at your fingers. “I miss you too.”

“You’re avoiding me,” he said, only a faceless presence in your peripheral.

“I’m not avoiding y-...” you trailed off when he crouched down in front of you, your entire vision cursed (or blessed?) with his frustrated face. “You are,” he said, eyes boring into yours. You trembled. “I’m not, I’m just busy.” He backed away, sulking, and you tried not to make it obvious that you heaved in a shaky breath from the proximity. “I can tell when you’re lying, you know?”

You laid down on the bed, arms crossing over your chest as if you were a corpse. Was there a way out of this, you wondered. Every glance, every touch, and every word that dropped from his mouth poked and prodded at you sadistically.

“I’m not lying.”

You heard fumbling and raised your head to see Chan, having discarded his shirt, putting on a new one and you cringed at how your heart sped up, seeing his toned stomach, before it disappeared under a sweater. “What are you doing?” you asked. He sighed. He glanced at you before studying himself in the full-length mirror Seungcheol had stolen from Mingyu.

“I’m going on a date with Irene in, like, twenty minutes.”

A pause. You sat up.

“Oh.”

He went on, throwing around scattered clothes and grappling for a cologne in his bag. “I’m sorry, I can’t cancel this, I don’t think she’ll really appreciate it,” he laughed a little. Throwing his head over his shoulder, his smile faded when he sensed your sorrow. His heart hurt then, so he moved, freshly spritzed with the cologne you bought him last Christmas, to stand in front of you on the bed. Your breath hitched when his hand found your cheek and he was suddenly dripping with sincerity and an emotion you really hoped wasn’t pity. “I just- I really wanted to talk to you, Y/n. I’m really worried about you.” You leaned into his hand pathetically, almost whimpering against it. You missed how his embrace felt. His thumb brushed over your cheek and he lingered there, eyes trained on you for just a moment - perhaps a moment too long - before he pulled away.

Suddenly he was putting on a jacket and ruffling his hair in the mirror again. “If you want you can stay here until I come back? It’ll only be, like, an hour and a half, two hours. Cheol will be home soon, he can keep you company.”

“Yeah, maybe,” your eyes were huge, when you willed yourself to stare at the floor. Chan must’ve sensed the meekness in your voice, because he looked over at you through the mirror, a frown on his lips. “I promise we’ll talk, I just- I don’t wanna disappoint Irene.”

It ached when you responded: “There’s nothing to talk about, Channie. I’m fine.”

“I’ll see you in a couple of hours?” you only nodded half-heartedly.

“Bye, N/n.”

“Bye, Channie.”

He left with a rustle of his keys, and when the door was closed, your body contracted, muscles pulling inwards until you were hugging your knees in his sheets. And you were crying because it smelled like him, and because he had held your cheek with such care, only to leave moments later for another woman. Everything you held dear, every moment you lingered on was just one-sided. Your tears were crystalline confinements for your most treasured memories with him and you were bleeding out on his bed, sliced in the heart.

It was Seungcheol who found you there like that, curling up in his roommate’s bed with painful sobs squeezing your whole body. You told him. Maybe you shouldn’t have, but you did. “I love him,” you cried, and Seungcheol stroked your back, as he listened. “And he doesn’t love me back.”

You apologized abashedly when you had calmed down, but Seungcheol only tutted and shook his head. “That’s what friends are for,” he’d said and patted your hair, and you giggled even though you felt all silly with your red face and your puffy eyes. The older man promised not to say anything, and you found yourself trusting him completely. You bid your goodbyes and felt a little lighter.

When Chan came home a heavy duvet of regret settled in his stomach. You were gone, only the faint mist of your perfume left behind in his room. When night fell, he slept on a bed stained with your tears. _____________________________

A week passed and you spent every moment alone in your dorm room, ignoring papers and deadlines in favor of lying completely still under the covers. Soonyoung came over with food every once in a while, and always left devastated at how completely disarranged you were. He felt powerless and if there was one thing Kwon Soonyoung didn’t like, it was feeling powerless.

That was how you found yourself in a very John Mulaney-like situation on a monday afternoon, sitting before Soonyoung and, surprisingly, Seungkwan, Soonyoung’s roommate, in a nearby café.

“What is this?” you asked, arms crossed and leaned back in your seat, unimpressed. Soonyoung smiled sheepishly, sliding a paper across the table. It read “Intervention” in big, bubbly letters, colored with cheap highlighters. “An intervention?” you said incredulously.

“Yes, we’re worried about you!”

“He’s worried about you. I’m skipping physics for this,” Seungkwan butted in.

“The community is worried about you,” Soonyoung gave a harsh glare to the younger boy, who was mirroring your distaste for the current situation. “So we’re hosting an intervention.”

“This is bullshit,” you said. “Agreed,” came Seungkwan.

“Alright, you two! Let Daddy explain,” Hoshi waved his arms in outrage and the two of you groaned at the word choice. “Y/n. I am sick and tired of watching you cry and cry and sit at home over a boy who is fricken’ in love with you!”

“Did you just say ‘fricken’?”

“Unimportant. The point is get your act together and tell him or get over him!” Soonyoung was determined. While you felt his point of view was certainly unfair to you, your demeanor gave way a little. He was right, you knew. This was ruining you more than you’d care to admit. “You are worth so much more than this.”

“As much as I hate to contribute to this, Soonyoung has been telling me all about.. Your situation, and I have to say I agree. I thought you and Chan were dating until Soonyoung told me this,” Seungkwan said, smiling sympathetically at you. You frowned. “It doesn’t matter what you guys think, you know. He doesn’t see me like that.. It just fucking hurts.”

“If he doesn’t see you like that, then fuck him--”

“Don’t say that, Soonyoung--”

“You need to put your energy into a man who will know your worth!” Soonyoung sassed and Seungkwan snapped his fingers once for emphasis, face totally blank.

“I know you’re right, okay?” you reasoned, sighing. “It’s not as simple as that. I know you want to help, Soonyoung, but.. I just need time.”

Soonyoung deflated, but he understood. I guess he was a little powerless in this situation. Even Seungkwan, who definitely was not thrilled about missing physics, smiled sorely. You watched them and hated yourself for bringing worry to everyone around. Like an oil spill in the ocean, your black mass infected everything around you. They’d done nothing and here you were, parading your sadness like My Chemical Romance in 2006.

“Thank you anyway.” _____________________________

Chan was theorizing. There were only so many things that could happen so suddenly, that could make you push him away like this. He hadn’t seen you in a week and he’d begun biting his nails again. Every waking moment had become consumed with this question: why? Why were you acting like this? Irene would pointedly comment on how quiet he was being, and his lies came like flowing water.

Chan was certain that he’d never experienced anything harder than watching you unravel everyday. Every morning more disheveled than the last, every smile more dull. Let me help you, he’d think, watching you slump in your seat on the other side of the room, running an unsteady hand over your face. You’d even found a way to avoid him after class. Day after day he’d run after you when you sped out of class, and when he reached the hallway where students were pouring out, you’d be gone like a faint ghost.

Irene ended things with him over a text. “I just don’t see us working out anymore,” it’d read and lying in his room he’d sighed quietly. He couldn’t bring himself to care. The text diverted his attention for only a minute, before he was staring at the ceiling again, thinking of you. It had to have something to do with him somehow. But no matter how much he scrutinized every interaction you’d had, he came up blank.

“Are you okay?” It was Seungcheol, standing in the doorway and hanging his jacket on their clothing rack while eyeing him. He’d hardly heard him come in. Chan heaved a sigh, long lines of worry oozing out of him.

“Y/n’s been acting really weird with me. I can’t figure out if it’s something I did,” Chan squeezed his eyes shut. “I just want her to be okay.”

Seungcheol frowned sympathetically. “Maybe you should just leave her alone.” Chan’s eyes sprung open and he grimaced, before ruffling the sheets where he sat up on the bed. Seungcheol was settling himself onto his bed, phone in hand and head against the headboard. “Why are you saying that?”

For a moment, Seungcheol flashed his brown eyes with a hint of ‘oh shit’ in them, before they relaxed and he regained composure. “I don’t know, maybe she just needs some time away from you.”

A pause swallowed the room. Chan studied his friend with furrowed brows. “Did she talk to you?”

“Uh-”

“You know why she’s acting like this!” Chan raised his voice, weeks of frustration crackling in the pit of his stomach. He stood up, so he could tower over Seungcheol’s bed. “Relax, man, I don’t know anything-”

“You do! Tell me what’s going on, Seungcheol-” Only a few words had been shared, but they’d tugged at the right strings, and suddenly Chan’s muscles were tightened as they buried into Seungcheol’s collar. The older man scowled and wrapped his hands around his roommate’s wrists in warning. Chan’s hold untightened and unscrewed and he slumped in on himself like a piece of paper, “please, Seungcheol, please. I’m going crazy.”

Seungcheol’s gaze softened. He pushed the boy’s hands away and sat up on the bed, voice a low, solemn grumble. “I can’t tell you.”

“Fucking please, Seungcheol. What if something happened to her? At that party. I keep thinking about it, how I wasn’t with her, and what if some asshole harassed her or something. I googled it and Google said women can feel lost, lonely and embarrassed over stuff like that,” Chan started pacing. “And then I was thinking what if it was a friend of ours? And maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to tell me, but, of course, I’d support her in anything she told me.”

Chan stilled in his wandering across the narrow floorspace. “Can you at least tell me she’s okay?”

All sharp eyes and blonde hair and panted breaths Chan stood in the middle of the room and waited for Seungcheol to tell him that you were okay. Chan would’ve even been at peace with Seungcheol telling him that you never wanted to see him again, fuck, as long as you were fine and you still laughed and smiled, even if it was with Soonyoung and not him.

But the answer didn’t come. Seungcheol frowned and fiddled with his watch. “I don’t think so, man.”

Whatever ties had held Chan back before snapped. He stood still for maybe three seconds in the unlit room, before his body burst into action and he was scrambling for his jacket and keys.

“Fuck this.”

Sprinting down monotonous corridors, a hard-headed Chan let wisps of blonde hair flow behind as the air kissed his cheeks. He wore the crease in his brow that had become permanently etched onto his features. Chan had a one track mind; maybe that’s why things didn’t - wouldn’t - work out with Irene. Currently, the record spinning was you and he’d gone damn near insane, so this time he’d made up his mind. He was not leaving until you talked to him. Whisking past door after door in the quiet nighttime, catching Wonwoo exiting some random dorm and smiling sheepishly, he ignored him and braved forward.

It was not until he was standing right in front of your door that he hesitated. The door framed his figure entirely, trapping him within its confines. What if Seungcheol was right? What if he was making things worse?

But for Chan, he wasn’t sure that he could go any lower. Every day had become a new rock bottom, every day that you avoided him, every moment wondering what he could have possibly done. He missed your smile. So then he was knocking at your door.

“Fuck off, Soonyoung, I’m not going to anymore interventions!” you yelled, voice hoarse from beyond the door. Intervention? Had you developed a drug problem? He knocked again and heard you groan, before heavy footsteps thumped towards him.

“What do you want, Soonyo-” you paused, door half-creaked open. Your eyes were two moons, and your nose and cheeks were red. “Chan,” you breathed, voice nasally from a stuffy nose. Chan said nothing, only pushed past you to get inside. You sniffled.

Your heart was a bomb, or maybe a firework. Chan had lit the fuse and standing before him, where he was half lit in the middle of your room, you knew it was only a matter of time before it exploded, chest blazing with a parade of colors for the fourth of July. Because it was him, a greek fucking god in your toy-decorated room, in his sweatpants and a white t-shirt, and it was you, wimpish and thoroughly out of order, in pyjama shorts and a pink sweater.

“Come. Here.” He wasn’t asking. You nodded and took two steps, and the moment you were within arms reach he enveloped you in his chest. His arms were so strong and warm, one wrapping around your waist and the other bunching up your hair to keep you pressed into him. Your cheek bunched up against his heart, you closed your eyes and heard how fast it was beating. He was scared.

“Talk to me,” you could hear it, too, the fear. His voice was trembling and even though you couldn’t see his face you could imagine his brown eyes glazed over and lips in a pout. The thought squeezed at your heart.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered. He squeezed his eyes shut at the raspiness in your voice. “Don’t be, just talk to me. Please,” his voice was a wavering breath. He pulled away, head ducking down to peer into your eyes. Your cheeks burned and you looked away, becoming completely enamored with the white of his shirt, just for the sake of not seeing his eyes. Then both his hands were on your cheeks, a little harsh at first, but then softening. “Look at me.”

He leaned closer, one hand straying from your cheek to hold you by the back of the head. “Look. At. Me.” he gritted his teeth and you felt the warmth of his face hitting yours. You did. You looked at him, saw him again, really, the guy you’d been avoiding and simultaneously praying closer to you standing before you like a kicked puppy. Suddenly you were crying. It felt like he’d turned you inside out.

“No, no, no, don’t cry, pretty, talk to me, talk to Channie, okay?” he frowned before he was pushing your face closer, nosing your cheek and hair, just a big baby in front of you, with hot and humid breaths on your freshly wetted skin when his lips brushed over it. His hand on the back of your head was only urging you closer, and his back was hunched in a long arch just so he could be with you, as close to you as possible.

And while his touch was bliss for a moment, the reality of it came crashing down, and your hands waved him off, taking a step back, which Chan followed with a step forward. He looked so hurt, hands held out for you to take but you shook your head.

“Don’t- Don’t do this to me, Chan. Not when-” you were shaking when you reached up to rub over your eyes. “Not when- Not when you have Irene to go back to.”

“Irene?” He asked incredulously, almost in outrage, almost as if the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind. It spurred you on. “That’s what this is about?”

“No!” you cried, “Or- yes, I don’t know.”

Chan was silent for a few moments when you began pacing, hands over your eyes. “You were jealous?”

“No- That’s not the point!” your lip trembled when you removed your hands and looked at him again, his arms at his sides, now that he didn’t have you to hold.

“We were never going to stop being friends, you know-” his voice was quiet and yours overpowered his easily, when you screamed at him to say: “I didn’t want to be friends!”

Boom goes the dynamite, indeed. Fireworks filled every crevice of your ribcage.

“Because I love you,” you paused only to flick your eyes over to his, and you sucked in the fear. Your voice shook when you continued: “And I think I have for- for, like, a year? And I only realized on the fourth of July and there you were with Irene, and I just… And I thought if I backed off these feelings would go away, because you obviously don’t-”

“Irene broke up with me,” his voice was much quieter than yours. You wanted to scream and cry and yell, because what did that matter? Why did that matter when it changed nothing? But then he spoke again: “She broke up with me because I kept thinking about you.”

Silence. It hit you that Chan was not informing you, he was telling himself this.

“Yeah,” he scratched at the back of his neck and chuckled dryly, “I kept being quiet on our dates, ‘cause I was thinking about you. I guess she sensed it.”

You were looking at each other in the dim lights. He was so beautiful, cheeks shiny and soft lashes curling over his lids. You sniffled. “Does that mean that you-”

Yes.

Yes, it did, because before you could even finish your sentence he was taking a step forward and his hand was on your cheek again and this time his lips were on yours and fireworks, fireworks exploded in your chest and on your lips like bursts of static, but this time it wasn’t pained, it was beautiful, and you’re melting into his hold, just as he was yours. Lips moving in perfect unison, he tilted his head down and you tilted yours up, and grabbed his neck, and his other hand slid onto your waist, resting there, as the two of you rocked under the artificial light of your overhead lamp.

Everything you yearned for was in your hands and you didn't dare to pull away, only whimpering when you ran out of breath, and chasing his lips when he pulled away to breathe. He chuckled, mouth curved upwards in that beautiful smile that you love. You love it, and there’s no point in hiding it. He pressed his forehead against yours and you’re panting into each other’s mouths.

“I love you too,” he said. You grinned, a perfect blush spread across your rounded cheeks, and his heart soared so much that he had to kiss you again, pecking and mumbling it again and again against your lips: “I love you, I love you, I love you.”

His tongue slid over your lip and you opened your mouth with a squeak. His tongue was wet and warm in your mouth and his hands were suddenly on your hips, pushing them into his. Then he pulled away, blushing himself when a string of spit connects you. “Is this okay?” he asked, so softly, so gently, and you nodded, flushed and out of breath and pathetically desperate.

“Yes,” you whined, “need you so bad.” He cooed when you pressed your hips into his, long fingers brushing hair out of your face. “Channie’s gonna take care of you. Channie’s gonna make it up to you,” and yet again it's almost like he was saying it to himself, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care when he lowered the two of you onto your bed. Hair strands stretched from their roots in your head, when you hit your plush pillow, and you were all shiny and sparkling eyes, laid out before him in a way that he never dared to imagine. “Too pretty,” he whispered, kissing you again.

He was grinding into you, anchoring himself on your waist and whimpering into the corner of your mouth at the feeling of your warm center through your shorts. “Baby, need you so bad. Can I take this off?” he tugged at your shirt and you nodded, unable to get anything out but whines. He pulled off the pink fabric, marveling at your bare chest before him. Of course, he’d seen it before, in tight shirts, on days where you’d decided to forgo a bra, and he’d always cursed himself for imagining the real thing. “You’re so beautiful,” he cried, as he hit your core just right and he stared at your tits’ slight jiggle.

“Such a pretty baby, so ready for me, can I touch them, please, please?” he was babbling, somehow already pussydrunk, but you were no better, eyebrows cinched together in pleasure, nodding without even an ounce of hesitation at his request. He groped at your chest, thumbs brushing over the hardened buds, before he ducked his head down to suck on one. You’re gasping, as his tongue flicked over you, hands tangling themselves in his hair, moaning his name into the air. He hummed loudly, and you felt a thick glob of wetness escape your pussy at just the sight of him, hunched over you like a wild animal, panting into your chest.

“You’re so pretty,” you whispered and he let go of your tit with a small ‘pop’, lifting his head to look at you. He was grinning ear to ear, face still hovering over your chest. “Am I?” and suddenly he was so cocky, hand cupping your heat through your shorts, and watching as you buck into his hand with a strangled moan. “Needy girl, need pretty Channie to touch you, hm?” He teased, fingers gently rubbing over the fabric of your damp shorts.

“Please,” you whined, thrashing in the sheets, desperate enough to cry. He cooed and shushed you, hovering over you by one, strong arm: “Shh, sweetheart, shh, I know. I got you, I’ll make you feel good.” As much as Chan wanted to make you beg, he was desperate too, and he couldn’t help the slight guilt of what you’d been through. The thought almost made him frown, but he pushed it away and peeled off your shorts and underwear in one swoop.

You cried out when his fingers were finally sliding through your folds. Your eyes, half closed, flicked up to see him, gaze trained on your core in amazement. “You’re so wet, baby,” he purred, spreading the warm slick up to your clit to start circling it with two fingers. “Just for you- Mngh!”

He plunged two fingers into you with ease, wetness coating his fingers to let them slide in. You were panting and thrashing and moaning his name, and he just watched with the biggest hardon he’d ever had, how he made you feel good and how pretty you were, and how much he never wanted to pull his fingers out of your sopping wet heat.

“Do you want my fingers in your mouth?” he asked, and you squeezed your eyes shut and nodded vigorously. “Hey, hey,” the fingers that weren’t plunging in and out of you and curling into your pussy’s sweet spot, squeezed your chin. Your eyelashes fluttered open, and you stared at him with blown out eyes. “You gotta look at me while you do it.”

Then his fingers prodded at your lips, and you opened them with a whine, willing yourself to keep them open, to see how he smiled adoringly down at you. They were filling you just right, one hand stuck in your pussy and the in your mouth, teasing over your tongue. Your orgasm was approaching, knotting in your stomach, embarrassingly fast.

He groaned at the sight of you, looking up at him with huge, adoring eyes while sucking his fingers. “Fuck, fuck, good girl, such a good, appreciative girl, taking my fingers wherever she can.” You clenched around him at that, and he chuckled knowingly. “Yeah, you like being my good girl? Fuck, you’re gonna make me cum in my fucking pants.”

You released his fingers only to moan - almost scream - his name, as you came around his fingers, curling into you and working you through your orgasm. “That’s it, sweetheart. Cum on Channie’s fingers. Look so pretty when you cum.”

You were still dazed on your bed in the glimmering aftermath of your post-orgasm, when you heard Chan shuffling beside you, and then he was leaning over you once again, shirt and pants discarded and cock proud and stiff and leaking precum onto your stomach. You groaned at the sight, hand trailing over his exposed stomach, where abs dipped and rose, glistening softly. Then your thumb caressed and pressed against his slit and he hissed, dropping his head into the crook of your neck.

He nosed at your neck, pecking a little, before speaking, voice too strained and too pretty: “Can I fuck you, baby? Please, please, I need to feel you around me so bad.” He had shut his eyes tight, fighting the urge to grab hold of your back and press your tits into his chest.

“Please,” you came back equally as whiny, writhing in his hold, where his thumb was rubbing soft circles in your hip bone. “Please, wan’ your cock. Need it.” He smiled into your neck, grabbing your head and kissing your cheek. “So cute.”

You felt the head of his cock slide through your still impossibly wet folds, then pressing against your entrance. You were murmuring his name over and over and he was panting into your neck and licking a stripe of wet glistening saliva onto it, as he began to push in.

You were writhing so much he had to place his hands on your hips to still you, whispering soft reassurances until he was pushed all the way, clit pushed into his abdomen. You’re so full, you can’t stop the wanton moans at the feeling of his pretty, red cock, every bulge and vein pressed against your gummy walls. “You’re so fucking tight,” he spat, fearful that he’d spill his load into you immediately from the way you were clenching him. Then, slowly, he was rocking into you and the both of you were clambering onto one another. Your hands found his neck, his hair, his flexing biceps, and his your hips, waist, boob, and then clambering up to hold your face and look into your eyes.

“Look at me,” you almost didn’t catch the way he repeated those words from before, but you looked into his brown orbs, blonde hair curling over and tickling your forehead. “So fucking pretty, so cute, my little cumslut. Say you want my cum, baby, please, say it.”

“Wan’ your cum!” you cried, as he angled his cock inside you to press into that spongy spot. He was giving in to all his wants at your words, pulling you up by pressing his arms under your back, so your tits pressed against his chest, and he was nosing at your face again, trailing kisses everywhere he could reach. “So good for me, so pretty, all mine. Fuck, sweetheart.”

“All yours,” you babbled mindlessly, when his hand snaked between your bodies to rub circles into your clit. “Cum for me, cum for me, baby.”

His thrusts were growing sloppy, and you felt the knot tightening in you once more, pulled tight and ready to snap. “Cum, cum, come on, my pretty darling. Fuck, Y/n, I love you!”

At those words you came, pussy pulsating around his cock and clenching so tight, he was unsure if he could even pull out in time. He did though, pulling out just in time to see his seed spill all over your soft stomach.

Panting and out of breath, his arms gave out and he collapsed on top of you, body covering yours. “Ugh,” you groaned and looked up at you, laughing softly. “Chan, you’re heavy,” you complained. “I’m a weighted blanket,” he countered, but climbed off of you anyway, lying down next to you. You looked at him, with the side profile of a god, and his blonde hair tousled and chest rising and falling.

“You are pretty,” you said, and you could almost cry when he looked at you and blushed.

“You should’ve just told me,” he whispered, turning his head to gaze at you. You frowned and nodded. “But it doesn't matter now,” he reassured, one hand climbing from the sloping, bunched up duvet and running his hand through your hair. He tilted his gaze towards your cum covered stomach, some of it having smeared onto himself, and he pushed himself off the bed. "I'll get a towel."

Naked and divine, he disappeared into your small bathroom.

“Oh, God..” you groaned suddenly, face morphing into anguish.

“What?” Chan called from the bathroom.

“Soonyoung is going to be the most insufferable person on the planet when he finds out about this."

#lee chan x reader #chan x reader #lee chan smut #chan smut #dino smut #dino x reader #svt chan x reader #svt dino x reader #svt x reader #svt smut #svt angst #dino angst #chan angst #lee chan angst

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lazyjellyfish300 · 3 months

Text

The Stuffed Rabbit🐇💌💕

Miguel O'Hara x AFAB Reader s/o

Happy Valentine's Day, Miguel Nation! 🌹💌

Synopsis: One of my Valentine's Day specials. The other one is posted now too. Woot woot! Bringing you and Miguel back from the same universe as In a Vial Around Your Pretty Little Neck. It's your second Valentine's Day together. And all you want is to go to Build A Bear. You plan an emotional surprise for him too that you hope he'll love. The quote: "Grief is love with nowhere to go," by Jamie Anderson helped inspire this. Word count: 2.7k

TW: Minors DNI since this one has suggestive content(but no smut), little angst, grief, other than that just Valentine's fluff.

-----

"Tienes demasiados peluches, mi vida." (You have too many stuffed animals, my life.) Miguel smirks at you as he stands in your kitchen, loading the Keurig with his cup of Joe for the morning.

"Well, I need more." You say firmly, crossing your arms.

Miguel shakes his head. "The fact that they take up nearly the entire new shelf I bought you is crazy on its own. You sure you don't want a fancy dinner, maybe a little vacation, just you and I? Movie? Some earrings?" He tickles your earlobe and you swat him away playfully.

"No way. Build-a-Bear or bust."

Miguel smiles, won over by your persistence. "Well, it seems I don't stand a chance against you this time." He sighs and pours the steaming coffee into a mug, blowing on the hot drink lightly. "I'll take you to Build-A-Bear, if I can choose the restaurant we go to afterwards?"

You press your fingertips together like a villain making a deal.

"Very well, O'Hara. You drive a hard bargain, but alas, I shall concede this time and let you have jurisdiction over our choice of dining."

Miguel shakes his head. "I'll do without the theatrics."

You walk up to him, craning your neck to look up at him and lean forward into his chest with both hands on either side of his waist. "Let me be dramatic in peace. You know I can't stand surprises when it comes to food."

Miguel sets his mug down and holds your face in his hands. "Are my restaurant picks really that terrible?"

You suck your cheeks in like a guppy and Miguel leans in to give you a little peck. "Nah. But preferably not Subway again."

Miguel's face curls into a smirk and he tickles your sides which you start giggling in response, trying to to push him off. "Thought you wanted to go to the place where they 'make the food in front of you'?" he says teasingly.

"Stahhhppp it!! I- *giggles* I-I meant teppanyaki, genius! Not freakin Subway."

Miguel starts kissing your cheeks, alternating between each one, causing your stomach to flutter.

"My apologies, baby...you're right, I'll make sure to pick somewhere extra special this time."

His hands slip under your shirt, making you get a little weak and your eyes droop.

"Mmm-promise...?"

He gives you a soft lingering kiss, and mumbles quietly against your lips, "Te lo prometo, cariño." (I promise you, dear)

-----

Your plan worked. Now you just had to get some help from Lyla. You wanted your own stuffed animal for Valentine's Day of course, but you wanted something extra special made for Miguel that you could give him at dinner, too.

You stood in front of Miguel's desk with Lyla, drumming your fingers anxiously as she was trying to download and email the file you were needing for his present before he returned from his lunch break.

"How much longer, Lyla?...." You asked, trying to keep the impatience in your tone in check.

"Almost there, almost there....." Lyla chided, jumping from one end of the holographic screen to the other. "Annnnnnd.....okay I sent it! He's gonna cry when he sees it dude, I hope you're ready."

You smile and then jump when you hear Miguel's voice. "Ready for what? And what are you doing here in the middle of the day?"

You whirl around and Lyla dissipates, trying play it off like both of you weren't up to anything.

"Nothing! Lyla was just saying uhm...she was just making sure I'm ready for tomorrow because apparently you chose a really fancy place for dinner this time." You grin, your heart racing in your chest.

Miguel gives you a suspicious look, but it turns into a smile as he scoops you up, planting you on his desk with your legs on either side of him. He gives your thighs a little squeeze and looks at the screens behind you as though he didn't buy your excuse entirely. "Hmmm...I did choose a fancy place for dinner tomorrow. I just hope Lyla didn't spoil it already..."

Lyla regenerates next to Miguel's ear. "Secret's still secure, boss!"

You nod, backing her up. "Honestly, she didn't tell me anything. Even though I was begging."

Miguel smiles and presses his forehead against yours. "Someone's impatient."

"I'm just excited! That's all..." You lean in , putting your hands on Miguel's shoulders and he helps hoist you back down.

He nods. "Trust me, you'll love it. But, dare I ask what you and Lyla were actually up to before I walked in?" He gives you a little smirk as he moves past you, setting up his workstation once again.

You quickly avert your gaze, doing your best to shield your true intentions. "Um...well, maybe there is gonna be a little surprise for you tomorrow too." You look up at him and he has a warm smile on his face.

"Really? Surprise f'me, hmm?" He pulls you back in by your hips.

You smile and rest your hands on his shoulders. "Yep. But key word: surprise. So you won't get to find out until tomorrow."

Miguel nods and ruffles your hair. "Very well, as you wish, ma'am." He calls out to you as you head for the exit. "I'm gonna try and guess what it is all day now!"

You turn your head and shoot one last teasing smile his way, "Love you baby!"

"Yo también te amo."(I love you too)

------

Next day, Valentine's Day

You and Miguel walk arm in arm into Build a Bear. You smile giddily and run up to the bins with all the different animals to choose from. Miguel smiles and stays a few paces behind you. He sees a cute couple with their little daughter and it pulls at his heart strings a bit. He looks around the little shop at the other families, and little kids running around and it creates a lump in his throat. He was afraid of this happening today. Valentine's Day and any other holidays would always end up reminding him of his sweet little girl every time going forward. It was bittersweet in its own way.

You were like a shower of rain upon the aching desolate plains of his heart, bringing with you a special happiness he never thought he'd be able to feel again. He fiddled with the ring on his pinky that held your blood in it as he watched you.

One of these days he wouldn't keep you waiting any longer.

He's ripped out of his thoughts when you call for him.

"Baby, I'm having a hard time choosing which one I want."

Miguel walks over to you where you have a yak in one hand and a red teddy bear in the other.

"Get em both." Miguel says, kissing your forehead.

"But..." You start to protest but Miguel shakes his head, already escorting you to the line in front of the stuffing station. "Thank you so much baby. You spoil me."

Miguel chuckles and says with a small wink. "Well, it's Valentine's Day...but don't expect this to be a regular occurrence."

You smile mischievously, "Oh, well in that case I'm going to milk this opportunity for as long as I can."

Miguel wraps his arm around you and sighs. His wallet may be on fire by the end of the night but anything for his valentine.

He watches you with a tender expression as you scrunch your nose slightly and close your eyes when you make a wish and kiss the small red plush hearts that go inside both stuffed animals. The employee takes them with a smile and hums as she stuffs both of them for you.

Miguel watched, fascinated by the machine as the stuffing churns and gently brings each animal to life.

"Alright, honey, give both of those a hug for me and make sure they're stuffed just right."

You hand Miguel the red teddy. "Can you make sure he has enough stuffing, babe?"

Miguel looks a little bewildered at first but gives the teddy an awkward little squeeze. "Umm,...he feels soft enough to me, I guess. Maybe he could use a rounder belly?" He points out the bear's small pouch.

The employee smiles, "Good call!" She stuffs the red teddy a little bit more and hands it back to Miguel. "How's that?"

Miguel gives the red teddy a fresh squeeze, his belly a little bit more full and firm now. "Perfect." He hands him back to you and you take it with a smile.

"Thanks, baby!"

Miguel's watch goes off with an incoming call from Lyla. "Perdóname..."(forgive me) You nod and give him a reassuring smile and watch him walk outside to take it, unaware that you and Lyla orchestrated the distraction.

Perfect. Everything was going to plan. You walked back to the bins and scanned them looking for the perfect one. You chose a tan, fuzzy rabbit with droopy pink ears and handed it to the employee. "Can I get this one too, please?"

-----

Later, you and Miguel are walking to his car with three cardboard stuffed animal carriers. "Can you carry this one baby?"

The corner of Miguel's mouth raises. "Got yourself an extra one?"

You smile. "Nah I got that one for you! But you can't look at it until we get to the restaurant. It's your big surprise."

Miguel smiles and looks at the box curiously. He wasn't used to receiving little presents and surprises like this until you came along. He felt a warm fuzzy feeling in his veins as he looked back at you. "You shouldn't have."

You smile and kiss the back of his hand you're holding. "Course I should have. You're my valentine."

Miguel gives you an affectionate smile in response and you two drive to the restaurant, a gentle flurry of snowflakes begins to dust the rooftops of Nueva York as the daylight wanes.

----

Your hands start to get clammy as Miguel leads you into the mystery restaurant, eyes closed. You hear the familiar restaurant clatter and rush of the indoor environment, then you feel the chilliness of the outside again, then quiet and warmth greets you in an unfamiliar, new setting.

"Abre los ojos, muñeca..." (Open your eyes, doll)

You look and your breath catches in your throat at the sight around you. Miguel reserved a clear, outdoor igloo on the rooftop of one of Nueva York's finest restaurants. The night was turning an imperial blue now, the light now scarce with grey clouds smearing the corners of the sky except where the snowflakes were falling through.

Source: Pinterest, from this online article.

Twinkle lights adorned the inside and outside of the igloo, creating a whimsical feel with tall outdoor heaters supplying warmth. There was an inviting couch with several decorative pillows and blankets adorning it. A sleek table sat in the front of it complete with soft glowing candles, antipasto on a wooden plank, and two wine glasses.

Your heart melted almost as quickly as the tears rushed to the corners of your eyes as you stood on tiptoe to give Miguel a kiss of gratitude.

You felt him smile against your lips. "You like it?..."

"Baby, I love it. Thank you so, so much..."

Miguel sits you down and you both get cozy underneath one of the blankets, lifting up your wine glasses to toast the evening.

"To you....let tonight become another sweet memory we can look back on together," he says.

You smile in agreement. "And here's to my ring finger not staying vacant for much longer."

Miguel chuckles as you click glasses. "It won't, baby, I promise you that..."

You feel your heart pound in your chest at the words he spoke combined with what you know is coming next. You turn and pick up the cardboard carrier, presenting it to him. "Time for your surprise, babe..."

Miguel grins and takes the cardboard box from you. He jokingly shakes it as though a feral animal were really inside, then cracks it open.

You giggle, then bring your hands to your lips in anticipation.

Miguel's eyes widen as he finds the tan, fuzzy stuffed rabbit with floppy ears, then his lips fall open as he takes it out.

The rabbit is dressed in a little blue soccer uniform and has a little red bow on one of its ears. Miguel's heart freezes in his chest at the familiar realization. He looks at you with surprise. "Baby...is this..?"

The tears have gotten to you already. You nod, trying to speak through the lump in your throat. "Press its paw..."

Miguel presses the rabbit's paw.

His favorite voice in the world...one that he hadn't heard in such a long time...the one that brought him so much happiness but also ached his soul. The sound that signified all his grief. His love with nowhere to go.

The voice of his little girl is heard... clear as day.

"Te amo y te extraño, papá. Eres el mejor padre del mundo. Besos de Gabi." (I love you and miss you, papa. You are the best father in the world. Kisses, from Gabi)

Miguel just sits there in awe, unable to speak. He presses the rabbit's paw again, as though to make sure he heard it correctly. Gabi's sweet voice speaks again, and he brings the rabbit to his chest, clutching it. Miguel is silent with his eyes closed, and then you notice his shoulders start to gently shake as his quiet sobs can't be contained anymore. He's just a loving father missing his baby girl.

"Happy Valentine's Day, my love..." You whisper, taking Miguel into your arms.

He lays his head against your chest, still clutching the rabbit, hot tears still running down his cheeks, unable to speak.

"Thank you..." He says at last in a hoarse whisper. "I miss her..."

You nod, his head still tucked in the crook of your neck. "I know, baby...I'm here...."

For the longest moment in time, it's just you two holding one another, the sweet rabbit sandwiched between your two hearts that surely can't contain the overwhelming adoration that has just blossomed and brought you two even closer together from this tender memory. No words are needed, but when he finally regains his strength, his brings his eyes to look at you, two sweet rubies glossy with a window of tears.

"I love you so much...you have no idea how precious this is to me..."

Your face melts, your own lovely eyes caked in emotional tears.

"I love you, sweetheart. You'll never know how much I do..."

Miguel shakes his head. "I have a pretty good idea...it's my love for you that you will never be able to comprehend, mi vida..."

You bring your lips closer and he greets them with his own. Warm and cozy, you two let the emotions of tonight speak for themselves in this soft gesture. Two souls in love in a little starlit igloo while the Valentine's Day snow carries on outside, the love between you two more than enough to keep you warm.

-----

Later, you two are chest to chest, your neck craned a little bit as you gaze up into those vermillion eyes, a love song accompanying your casual sways back and forth, fingers interlocked in a loving clasp.

The sweet stuffed rabbit, Gigi, sits among her two new friends, Yogurt, the Yak and Maraschino, the red teddy on your pillows which will be greeted by you and Miguel shortly.

Miguel drags his thumb along your bottom lip, pausing in the middle. His warm, sweet breath greets yours and you let him in, the caress of his tongue quickly making the kiss quite passionate as your lips move softly together.

You break apart, his eyes locked deliciously on you. Your chest rises in shaky, excited breaths as you feel his hands gently make their way to your clothed breasts.

Miguel notes your flustered reaction and smirks a bit. "Tired...?"

You flash him a little smile and press your forehead against his. "I can afford to lose another hour..."

A soft groan rumbles in his chest and he moves his hand to the back of your neck, skimming past the chain that holds the little vial with his blood over your delicate heart.

You feel the tiny vibration of your zipper buzz against your back as he drags it down.

Miguel whispers, "Let's make that two..."

-----

💌🥹💕

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save-the-villainous-cat · 6 days

Note

mmm heroo whump i loooove heero whump mmmm baby i missed you mm

“Oh, no.” The supervillain shook their head and sighed dramatically. “A speedster with a broken leg? Gosh, that’s too bad.”

The villain didn’t want to look at the hero crawling over the floor. Their sobs and pleas were bad enough already but the blood? The bone digging through their flesh? That was indescribable.

“Is this necessary?” the villain asked. They kept their voice apathetic, even though they knew their hand would be shaking if they lifted it. The hero’s broken voice filled the lifeless interrogation room, just like the blood covering the floor. “All this mess for an interrogation? You’re wasting precious resources.”

In response the supervillain laughed. In one hand, they still held the pipe and spun it around as their gaze wandered between it and the hero. It was a trophy to them. They cared little for subtleness. The bloodier, the better but they didn’t seem to realise how much time they were wasting.

“You know, with your legs all broken you’re just another human. Nothing really special,” they said to the hero as they leaned over. The supervillain tilted their head. Right when the hero wanted to push their upper body up, the supervillain rammed their boot into their back.

They slammed into the concrete. Face first. They left a bloody handprint on the supervillain’s pants.

And the villain clenched their teeth.

By now the hero was quieter. It wasn’t that they had given up — they’d probably still attack anyone if there was a bullet in their chest — but their energy was fading and their muscles were failing. The villain had never seen them like this.

“It’s a dead end. They won’t give you any information,” the villain said and they hated the hero for that. Truly, deeply loathed that the hero endured torture for hours and even when their bones broke, they didn’t say a word to save themselves.

What kind of sick loyalty was that? What kind of unquestioned obedience? The villain was nearly jealous of that.

“You’re so pessimistic today…we just have to get a little creative, don’t you think?” the supervillain asked. “What if we make them run with their broken leg and if they stop, we kill them?”

“You think that’s creative?” The villain focused on the supervillain instead of the hero who tried to push themselves up again with their trembling arms. Their grunts and moans sounded more like those of an animal. And that wound…the villain could see their tibia.

Yet, the villain pinched the bridge of their nose and squeezed their eyes shut, surprised by their partner’s idiocy.

“Well, it could be entertaining.”

“They can’t even stand up. What makes you think they could run for your entertainment?” the villain asked.

“I dunno. I like experimenting.” The villain sighed.

If they wanted to save the hero, they needed to do it in private. Convincing the hero to give up their secrets wasn’t going to be easy but the villain had information the supervillain could never know about.

“Great. It was your turn and it didn’t work out. Now it’s mine. Give me 20 minutes with them and you’ll have your oh so desired information,” the villain said.

The supervillain studied them.

“You know what? You’re right. They’re your nemesis. Why should I get involved anyway? God forbid I do a friend a favour.”

“Look, I—” the villain looked at the hero’s tears “—appreciate your efforts. But I fear they’re quite stubborn. They won’t give you what they want, even if you take them apart bit by bit.”

For ten very, very long seconds, the supervillain stared at them.

“Is this a possessive thing?” they asked. They had the audacity not to whisper.

But the villain was willing to push them.

“It is a I-know-your-spouse-shouldn’t-know-you’re-a-criminal-thing,” they said. All the villain needed to see was some time with the hero, even if that meant they’d threaten the supervillain.

They didn’t care what their partner thought about this. Or what kind of rumours they wanted to spread. The villain had enough dirt on enough people to bring a quick end to such accidents.

“Oh, stooping to a new low?”

“Forgive me,” the villain said. They stood up. “I’m sure you understand. They’re my nemesis and you’re robbing me of all the fun. I have to draw some lines here.”

“Fine.” The supervillain didn’t look necessarily happy when the villain cornered them until the last escape was through the door.

“Search for something else to play with, will you?” the villain asked. They opened the door of the interrogation room and offered their partner the way out.

Without a second glance, the supervillain mumbled incoherent curses on their way out until the villain shut the door behind them.

However, as soon as they left, the villain walked over to their nemesis and kneeled.

“Hey, come here.” They grabbed them and pulled them onto their lap. The hero kept looking at their leg and whimpered. Fingers drenched in blood found the villain’s jawline and cheekbones and left fingerprints there.

The villain’s heart was beating fast. Usually, they were able to control themselves in stressful situations but the hero desperately clinging onto them startled them.

“I’m sorry,” the villain whispered. “They won’t let go of you. They’ll kill you if you don’t give them anything.”

The hero shook their head and hid their face in the villain’s clothes. They seemed to know how this was turning out.

“Please,” the hero begged. “Please, it hurts so much, it hurts…”

The villain wiped some loose strands of hair out of the hero’s face.

“They want information on your latest mission. You have to give them something. After that, I can protect you,” the villain promised. They could feel how the hero held onto them.

“I can’t, please, please—”

“Sweetheart, don’t make me do this.”

“No, please.” Their tears rolled down their cheeks and the villain’s heart splintered.

Blackmail was the villain’s preferred way of fighting. Everyone had their secrets and the villain liked to obtain information like no other.

In a world where information spread in seconds, a well kept secret could be the key to peace and conflict.

But their hands were shaking. Tears burnt in their eyes.

“You know I know your siblings. If…” The villain felt disgusting. They felt filthy, wretched even. Despising themselves was new and this feeling was alien to them. It hurt, it burnt. But even if the hero never forgave them for it, this would save them. “…if you don’t tell them, I will kill one of them.”

“No, I trusted you, they love you.”

“I’m sorry,” the villain said. They kissed the hero’s temple. “This is the only way, I fear.”

After that, they developed a distaste for blackmail.

#thinking about a-train my boy #ah what a shame #writing snippet #heroxvillain prompt #heroxvillain snippet #heroes and villains #hero #villain #supervillain #hero x villain #heroxvillain #an answer for an ask #request #hero speedster

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whumpback-wail · 6 months

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01 - Make It Out Alive

Trial by Fire (Wriothesley x Reader) - TW/CW in masterlist

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Wriothesley growled and pressed the Fatui agent's face further into the ground "I'll only ask you one more time," fire roared on his left side, "Where is she?"

"Lowest b-basement!" The agent choked out, "the doctor kept her locked in a cage, but I'm not even sure if she's still-"

Wriothesley roughly smashed the villain's head into the ground, knocking him out immediately.

She's alive.

She has to be.

"Wriothesley." Clorinde gestured to the dark hallway looming before him, "Go. Me and the others will clean off this place."

With a quick nod, Wriothesley shouldered past them and rushed further down the hallway, all rational thoughts abandoned.

He's getting closer now.

He ran down the stairs which lead to the basement. Even so he felt as if he's moving too slowly.

Will he make it in time before she..

He shook his head, not wanting to finish the thought. Not when he's this close to getting her back.

The basement was a stark contrast to the upper floors. While upstairs it was clean and almost hospital-like, with individual rooms for patients- he refused to call them experiment subjects, the basement area looks unkempt, as if it was simply abandoned. It was dusty with cobwebs on every corner, and the cement floor damp in some areas from dripping water.

Running through the basement, Wriothesley opened every door he passed by. Most of them revealed empty rooms, and some cluttered storage areas, but a handful of them opened to reveal rows upon rows of cages that held people in them.

They were kept in terrible conditions, as if they were imprisoned or left for dead. With each room he opened, and each cage he searched, Wriothesly felt his heart sink lower and lower.

After yet another room searched with no sign of (y/n) he gestured for his men to help the prisoners while he continued his search.

If (y/n) isn't here, there's a good chance she somehow escaped, so that should be a good thing, right?

Or dead.

Pushing the thought out of his head, the steely blue eyed duke came to a halt in front of the final door. This one had a door that sagged on its hinges, tilting in a way that did not let it fit into its frame. It was slightly open and a foul sewer stench seemed to emanate from it. Shivering, he pushed the door open and went inside.

The door opens to a long, rectangular room that resembles a prison, like the previous rooms. There were floor to ceiling bars to his left and right.

Wriothesley went further inside and peered into each of the cells.

Empty.

On the far end of the room, however, there was a smaller sized cage. Something used for an animal, big enough to hold a tiger, but too small for a human to stand upright.

The door was slightly ajar, and there seemed to be something inside it. Something dark and unmoving.

Squinting through the darkness with his heart racing in his chest, he peered inside, gasping when he found that the object is clearly a person. Someone very familiar to him.

It was female, with her hair tangled darker than its usual shade. She was only wearing the bare minimum, a sort of hospital dress, but even so, it was tattered and bloodstained, barely enough to protect her from the cold winter. She laid on the floor of the cage facing away from him, tucked into herself at the very corner as if trying to stay as far as possible from the door.

"(Y/N)!"

He quickly shoved the cage door open further, reaching inside. She was cold. Very cold.

No...

His heart plummeted down to his stomach as he reached in and pulled her broken form out the cage carefully, as if afraid she would shatter upon his touch. She was completely limp, showing no response to his voice and touch.

Now he understood why they didn't even bother to lock the door.

"(y/n)," he turned her over, feeling his heart clench at the sight of her face. Blood from a wound on her forehead covered the left half of her face, while her right eye was swollen shut. Her lips, once soft and pink, now split and cracked.

Blue eyes scanned down her body for more damage, found that it was near impossible with the way blood and dirt stuck to her like second skin.

He noticed how much more skinny she had got, nothing but skin and bones.

"Archons, what did they do to you?" he whispered, caressing her face.

Wriothesley felt tears prickling behind his eyes. Was he too late? He quickly removed his jacket and wrapped her in it, hoping it would warm her up even if just a little

"I-I'm here, you’re in my arms now, you're safe. Please open your eyes, (y/n)..." he rocked her gently, "(y/n)... come on sweetheart, it's me, I'm here. I'm right here." No reaction. She was completely unconscious, her head lolling backwards.

No…

Wriothesley leaned down to listen for her breaths, anything. He was only met with the deafening sound of silence.

“No no (y/n), please, don’t do this to me.”

As if handling glass, he placed her gently on the ground and tilted her head back. Pinching her nose, Wriothesley pressed his lips against hers and blew rescue breaths into her. Blue eyes searched her face for any hint of a reaction as he placed his hands in the center of her chest, one hand laced on top of the other. He locked his elbows and began pumping.

“Come on, breathe.” He commanded, her bruised and battered body rocked with each forceful pump.

How long since she stopped breathing?

He felt the crack more than he heard it. One of her ribs had probably cracked or worse, broken. “Fuck!” his voice came out in a breathless whimper.

Again he leaned down and blew into her some more rescue breaths.

I’m hurting her, I hurt her- No. A few broken ribs will heal, but she needs to breathe.

“Come on (y/n), breathe. Come back to me.”

Wriothesley refused to give up, not when she’s right here. His arms burned from the effort of keeping her heart beating. Even so he pushed himself to maintain his steady pace. He was about to blow more rescue breaths into her mouth when she sputtered and coughed.

“(y/n)? Can you hear me? (y/n)?" his breath shook as he gently rolled her to her side until her coughing fit subsided. (y/n)'s arm, the one against his chest, seemed to try to push him off, a feeble attempt considering his stature was like a brick wall.

Before he knew it, she had gone limp again, the arm that tried to push him rests on her stomach.

Wriothesley gritted his teeth and slowly gathered her in his arms. "I'll get you out of here, (y/n). You're going to be okay."

He walked as quickly as he possibly could, trying not to jostle her too much. But even so it didn't seem to make any difference. (y/n) still remained motionless, her body sagging almost lifeless in his arms.

Walking out of the basement, he was greeted by Neuvilette and Aether. The two had finished battling the meks that went haywire, seeing how so much debris was strewn all about. Their hopeful expressions upon seeing him fell once their eyes landed on the bundle wrapped up in Wriothesley's arms.

"(y/n)? How-" Neuvilette cut Aether off by placing a hand on bis shoulder. Not good. Wriothesley's grim expression and watery eyes told them everything.

"She's alive," Wriothesley spoke past the lump in his throat, "but she will need immediate medical attention. I'm taking her to the hospital." He nodded towards the Aether, who knew immediately he should prepare to teleport them back to Fontaine.

In a flash, Aether, Wriothesley, and (y/n) was gone.

• • •

Neuvilette looked as if he wanted to say more to the three who had just disappeared, but then his eyes landed on Chlorinde, who had stopped beside him.

"I couldn't find her vision," Chlorinde's eyes were downcast, betraying her emotions despite the steely mask she had at all times, "they either ran off with it or destroyed it. The latter is more plausible."

She opened her hand, there rests a piece of golden metal twisted into an intricate frame. Where a glowing red pyro vision stone used to reside, it is now empty.

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.....(つ . •́ _ʖ •̀ .)つ [ ٩(×_×#)۶]

A/N

Whew first chapter! Been a while since I wrote anything so I hope that wasn't too clunky! Chapter 2 coming soon-ish!

#wriothesley x reader #whump #anime whump #whump writing #whump fanfic #wriothesley #genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #wriothesley angst #wriothesley x reader angst #hurt/comfort

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epiclamer · 15 days

Text

This is the post you all have voted for… (i settled for smutty hurt x comfort since you guys were so close)

@save-the-villainous-cat happy two year anniversary baby <3

It wasn’t the end of the world, Villain had been injured in battle countless times before and it was never a problem. But, god, there was so much blood.

They weren’t a very optimistic person by nature, but things had never looked worse for them than at this precise moment. Stumbling blindly through friendly, neighbourhood complexes and past steadily blurring townhouses. Villain could practically feel their demise impending.

“Hey there, stranger~” The criminal gulped, eyes shooting around like a cornered animal looking for an escape. “You’re in pretty rough shape to be standing on two feet…”

Their eyes locked in on a figure—somewhere at the back of their mind they were flooded with a sensation of ease, though they couldn’t quite pinpoint why. They continued to stumble forwards and practically into the stranger’s arms anyways, for whatever reason it felt right.

“Easy— Easy there, Villain… just relax I’ve got you, I’ll take good care of you, huh?”

Warmth spread through the criminal’s mind at the sound of the other’s voice, then down into their muscles before seeping deep to their bones. They blinked and when they opened their eyes again they were laying in a tub, their feet resting at the tap where hot water poured down and into the bath.

For a moment they panicked, but a hand found its way to their shoulder and grounded them back to the present. They knew that hand, they knew that touch.

Hero.

“I’ve got you, baby~” They teased, grinning from ear to ear as they fiddled with the temperature to the water with their free hand.

It all came rushing back to the villain; the fight they had picked with their superior—on purpose—and whatever hope they had left dragging their feet to the hero’s house in a desperate attempt for attention survival.

Hero’s touch was warm where it laid by their collarbone, heating the skin to a feverish degree as it began stitching the villain back together. See, Hero’s powers only worked through touch (something the villain had learned a very long time ago purely on accident), but as much as their touch held only kindness, it did not extend to their healing abilities.

Because, god, did it ever hurt. Painful in some sick and horribly pleasurable way that Villain couldn’t seem to stop craving.

Their collarbone snapped back into place, the bone mending itself back together and their eyes flew open along with the sob that was wrenched from their throat. They flailed, partially to escape the hero’s torturous touch, partially to fall further into their grasp.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay… deep breaths remember?” The crime-stopper’s hand moved down their chest, giving their upper half the gift of a breath as they pained the rest of them.

The villain’s relief was only present for a fleeting moment, as they felt the hero’s fingertips trace the edges of the gash to their chest. Already the ripped skin pulled taught and their torn muscles seized up, under command of the other’s touch.

Villain knew what was coming.

They squirmed, the bath water submerging their legs in its warm embrace, Hero’s hand teasing at their wound, they couldn’t help but try and pull away. “Please—”

The hero shushed them, bringing their free hand to cup the villain’s chin. “I’ll be quick, I promise.” They pressed their hand flat against the gaping hole that should have been the villain’s abdomen, jolting them.

Villain screamed, it was dry and rugged, they recoiled from their nemesis but the only other thing there to hold them was the bath water. “Please, H-Hero, please—” Three more seconds and the criminal was sure to pass out.

Then it stopped. Before the villain could beg again, before they could lose consciousness, the pain stopped.

Cautiously, the villain’s eyes fluttered open, their enemy smiled sweetly back, fingertips now tracing the completely untouched abdomen of the villain’s. They looked normal, they looked okay, even after everything the hero had managed to restore them to their previous glory.

“You okay, gorgeous?”

Villain’s eyes met the hero’s once more, they were gentle yet somewhat mischievous. They nodded, brain completely fogged, maybe from the pain, most likely from the hero’s distracting gaze.

The area still pulsed with the ghost of a previous slash, but there was nothing, just the heat from the hero’s hands. It left a sweet aftertaste on their exhausted mind.

“Think you can handle another round tonight?” They waggled their eyebrows in emphasis, removing one hand to shut off the water to the bath as it began to cover the villain’s stomach.

Villain glared, but only for a moment, some of their usual snideness returning to their demeanour. “Can y-you be a little nicer?”

Hero hummed, eyes glued to their own hands as they made their way down to the inside of the criminal’s thighs, their hands beginning to resume their previous healing glow even under the water. “Really? I thought you liked it rough?”

The villain’s cheeks turned red, but they didn’t have time to retort before the hero placed their hands back against their skin and shut them up with a moan.

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djarincore · 3 months

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a sacrifice in your name

SUMMARY: A paladin's oath means everything to them—but not to Simon, not when it comes to you.

ALTERNATIVELY: Simon sacrifices his oath to save you.

TAGS: oathbreaker!ghost, f!reader, DND!au, smut, angst, hurt/comfort, nondiscript violence, implied minor character death(s), Simon can lift reader, special villain guest appearance by Graves, body worship, cock warming, WC: 3.2k

A/N: a little what if scenario for vengeance paladin!Simon, who will always choose you over everyone else no matter the cost. and yes, the title is another sleep token lyric...

thank you to @/saradika-graphics for the dividers!

You wake to dim woods, a full moon overhead, and arms firmly encircled around your waist. The world bounces and sways in your bleary vision with a persistent ache pounding through your head.

Memories of the past few hours are a rapid flash of reds and oranges, sounds of crackling, splintering wood, and terrified screams echoing through the night. The bone-chilling fear of death seems to still freeze your sore muscles.

Now, as you slowly regain your senses, you realize you're riding atop a horse somewhere deep in unfamiliar woods in nothing but your night gown. The figure, whose arms encircle your body, grips the reins in front of you. Their own weight almost sags against yours. A helmet rests against your shoulder.

Icy fear crawls back through your body. You wish you can remember or get a clue as to where you were, but it is too dark and the horse is no longer on a path. The best you can do is escape, run, somewhere far from this stranger.

You jerk forward and claw at their arms, but you're blocked by leather vambraces. The stranger pull you closer to their chest, trapping your arms against your body.

“Let me go,” you plead. The stranger scrambles to restrain you and reign in the horse, who has become spooked by your cries. “Please!”

“Shh, you're safe,” a familiar voice soothes. It's grated, rough. Simon. “It's alright.”

Your body sags into his, but your heart still pounds. Your thoughts are mush in your head as you try to piece them together.

“What happened?”

The last thing you can recall is smoke and flames, raiders breaking down your door, and the blunt end of a sword bashing your temple.

Your query is followed by thick silence. A dark cloud of confusion hangs over you and Simon doesn't seem to want to offer any guidance.

“Simon?” You attempt to turn, but he holds you tighter, almost forcing the air from your lungs. And then, you realize he's trembling.

Simon, who was the pillar of strength, never trembled, never showed an ounce of fear. You grew worried.

“Don't,” he says quietly. “Just rest. We’ll be at an inn soon.”

A pit sinks in your stomach. An inn, but not your inn. If your fragmented memory serves you correctly, your inn is ash. The home and business your family-owned for generations was gone in a single night.

All the fight and adrenaline drains out of your body, leaving you weak and exhausted. You shut your eyes and lean against Simon, allowing tears to fall freely in the dark.

The neighboring town’s inn is small, cold, decorated with the heads of different animals and sharp weapons mounted on the walls. You hate it. There is no fireplace, no warmth, or life—nothing like your inn, your home.

You stare into the glassy eyes of a deer hanging above the owner. Your blank expression stares back in the reflection.

The owner is a bony, severe-looking man whose slimy gaze clings to you alone. Even as you cower behind Simon the man’s hunger makes you shudder.

You stare into the glassy eyes of a deer hanging above the owner instead. Your blank expression stares back in the reflection.

“A bath for her.” Simon tosses an extra silver piece onto the counter.

You're covered in soot with a trail of dried blood running down your temple and a small cut on your neck.

The owner perks up. “Do you require any assistance washing?”

You can't help but cringe at his words and wrap your arms around yourself.

Simon’s hand darts over the counter to grab the man by the scruff of his neck and slam his face onto the counter.

“Shut the fuck up,” he barks, “and get it ready. Or I'll spill your fucking guts on the floor and you can wash that up instead.”

The man whimpers and you can't find it in you to feel bad for him. But you do worry. Simon always makes a point to keep his violence away from you.

His fury wasn't a sight you saw often. You only know the beginnings and ends of it. The deep breaths as he tried to control himself and keep his temper in check or the bloodied knuckles and split lips.

“Yes, yes, right away,” the man stammers.

Simon doesn't let up. You see the fingers of his pointed gauntlets curl tighter, forcing a choked gasp from the man.

“Mercy,” the man pleads, voice wavering on the edge of tears.

Finally, Simon flings the man back and he stumbles to catch himself from hitting the wall. Scampering off, the man disappears around the corner.

Simon heaves a sigh, bordering on frustration and exhaustion. His shoulders are tense and when you reach a hand out to touch his arm, he doesn't look at you. He hasn't since you woke up on his horse. His helmet being on didn't help either.

You desperately want to know what he is thinking. Simon was never a talker, but his eyes were always more expressive than his words.

His arm wraps around you, bringing you into his chest. Your cheek rests against his chest plate. The metal is cool against your skin. Your arms wrap around his waist in turn.

You want to ask him so many questions, but now isn't the time. You want to think he’ll explain everything soon, but his tension doesn't reassure you.

He holds you in silence until the owner returns.

The man's gaze doesn't fall anywhere near you this time. The bloodshot, green eyes stay firmly on Simon as he stumbles over his words and let's you know the bath is ready.

Simon takes your hand and leads you around the corner. The narrow hallway has a wooden staircase built into the left and leads further down to an open door. You can see the tub inside, a towel draped over a wooden chair beside it.

The washroom is a simple room with a basin and a chair. There's a standing mirror tucked in the corner you use to look at the grime covering your body. Your face is gaunt, a shell of yourself. Your fingers ghost over the frown you fear will become permanent.

Simon shuts the door and moves behind you like a pillar, poised to support your unsteady legs. “Off,” he commands with a low voice, brushing the strap of your nightgown off your shoulder.

Your clothes slip off easily and Simon guides you into the tub. The water is lukewarm at best and you curl your knees to your chest to conserve heat.

“Will you tell me what happened now?” Your question is quiet.

He runs a cloth over your shoulders.

“Raiders,” he all but spits.

“What of everyone else?”

“Gone.”

Your brows furrow. You just couldn't believe you were the only one to make it out. Your heart breaks for all the people who were lost.

“And the raiders?”

No doubt Simon made short work of those bastards. He always did.

Simon wrings the towel out and extends his hand. “Come on. Out before you get cold.”

You're redressed in your nightgown but not satisfied.

He leads the two of you up to your room for the night. There's a wooden bed tucked in the corner and a dresser beside it with an oil lamp. You grimace at the sheets which are covered in a layer of dust. You pull them off the bed and toss them to the floor.

Simon begins the quiet routine of shedding his armor at the door. It almost feels like you're back home. His helmet comes off first and rests on the dresser.

Finally, you can see the tight furrowed brows, the downcast eyes, and tense jaw he wears. There is a quiet conflict raging behind his tired eyes. He looks exhausted and beaten to the core. He leans his sword against the wall, places his gauntlets on the dresser, chest plate and greaves beside it.

You watch as each piece comes off, searching for signs of injury. He never returns to you without scars or bruises for you to fuss over. But piece by piece, his clothes are free of blood and his body doesn't tense from sudden movements.

No sign of injuries should be reassuring, but it only adds more questions.

“Are you okay?” Your hands run down his chest to rest on his abdomen.

He's quiet for a moment, tense beneath your hand, before he mutters a curt, “Fine.”

Simon takes your hands and guides you back onto the bed. He leans over you, forcing your neck to crane back. A hand cradles your cheek, caressing your cheekbone with his thumb, as his lips lower to ghost over yours.

You want to ask him more questions—ones he won't answer, he can't answer—but he stops you short.

Simon captures your lips in a desperate kiss. He kisses you with a hunger that he needs satiated. His hands cup either side of your face, always gentle.

When he pulls away there's something missing from his gaze, replaced with a despair that stretches beyond you.

“Simon…”

“Not tonight,” he whispers.

He never liked to talk about his missions, the evils he faced all in the name of upholding his oath. And you never forced him to, simply doing your best to provide him comfort in other ways. You gave him a home to return to, open arms to fall into, and loved him completely. But, the hollow look on his face warns you of something terrible, something that can't be healed.

He brings himself to his knees, head hung in quiet repentance. His lips press against your knee. Then his hands snake up, pushing your nightgown past your thighs.

You grab his hands before he can reveal anymore, but he is insistent.

He looks up between your thighs like you alone can offer him salvation for whatever sin is consuming him whole.

“I need you,” he pleads. “Let me have you.”

Simon doesn't wait for your response before he’s rising once again to push you against the bed. When his lips meet yours, it's fierce and demanding. His body cages you and you're helpless to refuse as he knees your legs open.

Simon’s rough hands explore the soft curve of your body. Your hands caresses the slender curve of his neck and into the silk strands of his hair while his thumb traces random patterns on your stomach before dipping below the waist of your panties. His fingers skim lower and lower, and you squirm when the dull ache between your thighs grows stronger.

The pads of his finger meet your sensitive clit for the first time and rub slowly. Your body seizes around him, thighs clamping around his, and your arms wrap around his neck to ground yourself around the sensation.

The way he gazes upon you so reverently, like a goddess worthy of his devotion, nearly makes tears spill down your cheeks. You let out a gasp as the pleasure in your stomach grows stronger.

Your hips move against his hand, demanding more. When his hand moves away to tug at your gown, you pout.

“Off,” he commands.

Nothing needs to be said twice, not with Simon. You pull your dress off, freeing yourself to the darkness and his roaming eyes. Your nipples are pert against the cold air. His calloused hands glide over your waist, mapping every inch and curve of your body to commit you to memory.

“My beautiful girl,” he whispers in awe. His hand cups your breast as he lays kisses across your chest. Between each kiss he says, “You’re mine.”

You feel yourself blossom beneath his reverent touch and words. You lift your hips to let him pull your underwear off. His hands slide up your calves, over your thighs, and eventually one settles over your mound. You arch into his touch. A sigh leaves your lips as he runs his finger through your slick folds.

Two fingers are thrust into you without warning. Your breath is caught in your chest as you clench around him. His fingers work inside of you, pulling sweet moans from your lips, until you come undone.

Simon lifts your limp body against him as he settles on the bed with his back against the wall. You lay against his chest, face buried in his neck, as a wave of exhaustion hits you. The traumatic night is finally catching up with you.

As you come down from your orgasm and your eyes grow heavy, he pulls his cock free and positions you above him.

You attempt to shift your hips down to take him, but he stops you with a gentle squeeze of your hips.

“I've got you. Just relax.”

Simon eases you down on his cock, stretching you open. You want to squirm, to move, to please him the same way he did for you.

“Just stay here,” he says, his breath heavy in your ear. His hands cling to you as he shifts your bodies against the pillows. You feel the stir of him in you and involuntarily clench. He groans, burying his face into your neck to regain control of himself. “Let me feel you.”

You stay in each other's arms until your breaths fall steady. The closeness, his warmth, is a comfort you relish. Your home may be gone, but you still have Simon.

And, for now, it is all you need.

Simon waits for you to fall asleep first, cradled against his chest, before he allows himself to feel guilt wash over him. The weight threatens to drown him and he clings onto you like a raft.

He leans his head against the wall, staring at the water-stained ceiling. A veil of unshed tears blurs his vision. “Forgive me,” he whispers.

To who and for what, he doesn't know. He just hopes those words are enough to make the ache fade—it doesn't.

He allows himself to fully recall the entire night before he found you, before it all fell to shit.

Simon returned to ruin.

He saw the plume of smoke in the distance and hoped it wasn't real, but it was. Your town was engulfed in flames, glowing in the dark as bright as day, burning in his eyes like hellfire.

He moved through rubble, mind swimming with dread, to find you at the center of town, bound and unconscious. There were men surrounding you who wore a familiar coat of arms.

Graves, the pain in his side who never seemed to just disappear, was standing in the center of it all. Simon had faced his men before, but never Graves in person.

Simon would have caught on to the strangeness of the situation if not for the fury boiling in his blood.

Simon knew what he had to do—kill him, make him suffer. His oath wouldn't allow his evil to continue any further.

Gods, he hated the cocky grin on his face.

“There you are,” Graves called out like he was greeting an old friend.

“What the fuck do you want?” Simon’s sword was already unsheathed, ready to taste blood.

“To teach you not to fuck with me.”

Simon almost barks out a laugh. He raised his sword toward the challenge. Not one of Graves’ men moved to help defuse the situation.

“Go ahead and do as your oath commands—kill me.” Graves stood proud, arms spread wide.

Simon took a step further.

“But if you kill me, your girl dies too.”

A henchman hauled you up and placed a dagger at your throat.

Simon, for once, faltered. The sword in his hand trembled. He tried to steal himself but found he couldn't catch his breath.

He couldn't kill Graves and reach you in time. And he was sure if he made any move to save you, you'd be dead already.

“If you don’t kill me, I'll let you leave with her. Make your choice.”

So that was the game.

“Fuck you,” Simon spat. “I don't know ‘er.”

Graves ignored the bluff. Something in his smile told Simon, he saw right through his bullshit. “Go ahead and be a hero, Ghost.”

“I'm not a hero.”

He scoffed at the word. Destroy evil by any means necessary. His tenant echoed in his mind. Any means necessary.

He was far from a hero. A hero didn't turn a blind eye to those in need to pursue evil. He left behind innocent's far more times than he can count in the name of his oath.

Would you become one of the souls he sacrificed too?

Ever since he lost his family and took up his oath, he couldn't allow himself to feel emotions like guilt, sorrow, or fear, less it made him weaker to deliver the vengeance he swore to uphold.

But, you were his new family, the love he found amidst his violent wandering. He couldn't lose the safety and warmth that you were.

No matter what he chose, you or his oath, he would lose a part of himself.

Simon wanted to plunge his sword into Graves’ chest and be rid of the man and his impossible choice and that fucking smug smile. He wanted to destroy his very existence, so not even the strongest magic or God could piece him back together. He knew the world would be better off without him. He knew it deeply.

Yet, Simon lowered his sword and made his choice to condemn the world.

“I knew you were a selfish one.”

“Give her to me.”

Graves waved his hand and you were dropped. Simon caught you before you could touch the ground. He wrapped his arms tight around you, shielding you from the world.

“Fuck with me again and I won't wait for you to save her.”

Simon gritted his teeth but didn't say a thing. He kept his eyes on you. There was a cut on your neck where the blade was, shallow enough to draw a sliver of blood, and he couldn't do a damn thing about it.

Fighting Graves would mean your death. Simon didn't care if he died, but he would never risk you. All he could do was lift you up and walk away.

Each step away from that ruined town he felt a piece himself slip further into the dark, remaining in the wreckage. His limbs lost feeling; his chest constricted.

A rope pulled inside his chest, urging him back to finish his duty. But, his feet dragged against the force to continue forward.

When Simon stepped over the town's threshold, the rope snapped. He was left with cold, empty despair.

Simon held you because that was all he could do as he left behind the destruction and his oath. At least he still had you.

He condemned the town’s survivors to death and allowed evil to escape the wrath of punishment—and he would do it all again to save you.

He will tell you of his selfishness in the morning. But, for now, he will hold your bare form tighter against his chest, closer to his heart, convincing himself you will fill the piece of himself that will never return.

But the void is boundless. It is echoes of flame and terror, shame and guilt, and a haunting voice calling to him in the dark.

“Oathbreaker, what have you done?”

#simon riley x you #simon riley x reader #cod smut #ghost smut #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost x reader #ghost x reader smut #simon riley smut #cod fanfic #cod x reader #ghost scenario #simon ghost riley #cod mwii

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butchsophiewalten · 2 months

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2/27/24 Twitter Space Recap

Martin, Kyle and Eva held a twitter space earlier today, featuring a short Q&A portion like halfway through! Here's some stuff they talked about:

Martin talks about how "Bon", in his behavior and manner of speech, was inspired in part by Paul Dano's Riddler. "Very unhinged and childish."

The "Wonderland" scene at the end of TWF4 was written by Eva, and Martin talks about how the vision he had for that scene was a lot less subtle, and involved Bon's behavior being much more obviously villainous. But when he shared it with Eva, she came back to him with an idea for a much more subtle and manipulative approach to Bon, which he though was "such a cool vision for [the] character."

-Eva mentions how when writing for "Bon", she couldn't help but get actually upset and frustrated with how manipulative he was being.

-Martin mentions how he's always kind of imagined Bon to be in contrast to Felix, where Felix's behavior is very regretful and cowardly, Bon is just unabashedly a "very, very evil person."

-Eva mentions how the decision to have them voice "Bon" in TWF4 was made only a few weeks before the episode's release. Martin says he'd love to talk about that more, but he's still very attached to the idea he originally had for Bon's voice, and wants to revisit it eventually.

-Eva mentions that a lot of the episode's most iconic and impactful scenes were made "only a few weeks ago". The intro scene with Edd & Molly, The Jack and Felix scenes, and the Wonderland scene at the end were all made extremely recently before the episode's publication. Martin talks about how when he broke TWF4 into 3 episodes, he realized the new TWF4 seemed honestly like it was going to be really boring, and he thought people were going to hate it, so he went back and started adding small scenes to give the episode more interest.

Martin says he thinks those scenes elevate the episode so much, but he was under so much time crunch when making them that he wasn't really taking the time to appreciate them, and was honestly really disappointed with and embarrassed by them immediately after he finished, and was really surprised when TWF4 got such a positive reception. He brings up the Jack scene specifically, saying he thought it was so shit when he first finished it, that it didn't turn at all like he imagined, how he felt like he was just screaming into a microphone as Jack, and how the scene didn't have as much animation as he originally envisioned. He says that he's come around to appreciate it more, though.

-Martin says that between 4, 5, and 6, episode 4 is his least favorite, and that episode 6 is his favorite episode in the series.

-Kyle says he's really insecure about his performance as Charles in TWF4, that he wasn't really used to the voice yet and wasn't really confident in performing it.

-Martin recalls a funny tweet he saw begging for TWF5 to be a slice of life episode, and says that it actually kind of is a lot like that, just not in a wholesome way. He says TWF5 is a much calmer episode.

-He says episode 6 is "such a fucking nightmare", and that it's "a very traumatic moment for these characters", and is a turning point for one specific character. He specifies, though, that it doesn't mean the episode is going to have a lot of analog horror jumpscares or anything.

-Martin mentions that in 1974 Charles is divorced, but is very recently divorced. He says that Charles and his wife (who the thinks is named Emily, but doesn't remember exactly) divorced "a few months before everything goes down", and that if Charles didn't go missing, they probably would have resolved things between each other. Probably not that they would have remarried, but that they absolutely love each other and would have stayed close as friends.

Martin specifically contrasts this to Felix, saying that Charles is a very selfless person who can recognize that this relationship he's in is bad for both him and his wife, and is willing to take the steps to separate but stay friends, where Felix would never have done that despite being in a genuinely very similar situation with Linda.

-Kyle says that his favorite dynamic between any of the characters in The Walten Files is the dynamic between Charles and Susan, and Martin says that their dynamic is very endearing. He says that "they really care for each other", and that they're "the bestest of friends".

Martin mentions, however, that he was really afraid that after episode 4, he was going to start seeing people shipping Charles and Susan. He says he definitely wrote them to be just like a good platonic friendship.

-Martin starts talking about Jack & Felix's friendship. "Felix & Jack, to me, I've always wrote them as people who seem very social and friendly, but are actually very isolated people, in their own way. So, Jack, I think the only person Jack is completely and entirely honest with is Rosemary. That's the only person that knows Jack very well. And Felix is just, Like, someone that doesn't- people wonder, like, 'oh, how could Jack not know about Felix's addiction if they've been friends for years,' and I think that Felix would definitely be the type of person to try his hardest to hide it from Jack.... Felix looks up to Jack. To me, Felix sees Jack as this person that he would love to be. So, even if there's some love there, some affection, there's also a lot of envy. That Felix is trying his hardest to be on this person's good side, so he would not tell Jack about this."

-Kyle mentions that a personal pet peeve of his is when people come up with ship names for characters for are married, like "Jackmary" or "Homarge". He says that Jophie gets to be an exception, because they aren't married, and Martin jokes that they could get married and still be Jophie, as "Sophie Jophie" and "Jenny Jophie".

Kyle and Eva joke that if Sophie and Jenny got married, they would do rock, paper, scissors to decide who's taking on the other's last name, and Kyle asks Martin who would win. He says Jenny is "great at rock, paper, scissors." Martin says "Yeah, I think Sophie would change her name to Sophie Letterson if they got married... I think she would not like to be reminded of the last name of everyone that's missing, y'know?"

-"Does "Bon" ever reveal his own motive for his actions in the series, or is it never explained?" "He doesn't try to hide it, to some people, but he doesn't reveal it. He's not like your classic kind of villain, and goes 'ah, yes, my plan is doing this and to do this'. I think something I've kinda learned is that actions speak more than just outright saying it, y'know? It would be really boring if Bon just, like, sat down and explained what he was doing. I think it's more fun to see him actually go through his plan and keep you guessing, until it's really clear what he's trying to do."

-"Do we have any small videos on Chris, or will he have any mentions in the episodes?" "Ah, I think he's mentioned- He appears in photos, but not mentioned. The little I can say of Chris is that I think he's someone who knows how to, like, turn a situation in his favor. He's a real go-getter kind of character, and I think it's a really- the dynamics he has later on in the series with the main characters- they're all really interesting. I really like Chris... I really love this character. I think, uh, there's still a long way to show it- there's a design we have for Chris that's one of my favorite designs we have for a character in the series, it's so cool. It's, uh, the design you see in episode 2, where he has like, the caretaker outfit, uh, he has a different design later on, and I really love that." Eva chimes in, asking, "Oh, is that the 1982 design?", to which Martin responds. "Yes. I fucking love that design... I can't wait for people to see his role in 1982, because, uh, it- it's way different than what people think it is. I think people just think 'Oh, he's just like one more employee', but- augh, I can't say anything."

Eva responds saying "One thing I will say is that people- Obviously, there is no like, "correct" understanding of Chris at the moment, because we know nothing about him, but I think a lot of people seem to be very, um, have a very different expectation of who he is." to which Martin says "He's silly. I-I- think Chris is a really good blend of a silly character, but also a very serious character when he needs to be. I think Chris is very similar to Charles in a lot of ways, just less naive in some aspects."

-Someone asks for a Charles fact, and Martin says that he's someone that will always put his daughter first before everything, and Martin likes to think that he would bring Lily to work a lot, and that everyone would make time to play with her, even if they were working on something important. He adds that it'd be funny if Felix ended up telling Lily that Santa didn't exist, or something like that, on accident.

-Someone asks for a Brian Stells Fact. Martin announces, with a lot of fanfare, that Brian's type of women would be "middle-aged single mothers", and that he definitely would've tried flirting with Rosemary after Jack's disappearance. He then posts this drawing to Twitter:

-They keep joking about Brian trying to hit on Rose, saying that he'd show up at the Walten household before Jack's disappearance, and that Jack would meet him at the door with a shotgun. Martin jokes that Jack would shoot a perfect outline around Brian as a warning, and that he's actually a really good shooter, and that there would be "more on that in episode 5."

-"If there's one thing we can say about Chris, it's that Chris is like a more mature Jesse Pinkman. He-he has like that silliness. He's like the season 4-season 5 version of Jesse."

-Martin says he got approached by a company that's currently producing the Harmony & Horror VHS tape for Battington, wanting to make a similar VHS of episodes 1-6 of The Walten Files, but it couldn't be done because of the amount of copyrighted material in the series. So Martin pitched an idea of an entire 10-episode season of a Showstoppers cartoon in the style of the merch videos to release Direct-To-VHS. They say that after the tapes have sold, they'll release the entire series to YouTube. They all seem very enthused and excited to work on it.

-"I have this idea that CyberTelly should be like the lawyer of the Showstoppers. Whenever they fuck up, he cleans everything up behind the scenes, and that's why everything goes back to normal the next episode."

-"Susan or Linda Thompson fact?" "I think the only other person Linda talked to when she was leaving was Susan. Because they were good friends, so she definitely wanted to say goodbye to her."

-"What was the hardest scene to animate in TWF4?" "The hardest scene to animate was probably, um... the Felix scene, when he's on the river. Most of the other scenes are in very dark places, so that saves a lot of time because I don't have to add that much detail to everything. But with the Felix scene it's so lit up, it's in the middle of the day. Augh, that was such a pain in the ass to animate, so yeah."

-Martin says the planned Showstoppers cartoon would consist of 10 11-minute episodes, and that there's going to be a lot of recurring characters, and a lot of characters that had to be designed to fit in with the style of the series.

-Someone asks what would be Rosemary's favorite character she designed, outside of Sha. Martin answers that Sha was definitely her favorite, but next would definitely be Billy, because he's always imagined that she really loves clowns. Her ranking of favorite characters would go: Sha, Billy, Bon, Boozoo, and last would be Banny, because she's just Bon but Purple.

-"I think Edd would be a very mischievous kind of fellow. And he would try to like, do a lot of pranks and stuff like that. I think between Sophie, Edd, and Molly, he'd be the most rebellious of all. He'd be very, like, 'Augh, stupid house! Stupid fathers!* I'm grounded!' and, uh, Molly would be more like, 'No! Edd! You can't do this, you can't blow up the school, that's not right!'" (*My Note: By 'fathers' Martin definitely means 'parents'. This is a really common mistake to make when speaking English and Spanish is your first language, and is a slipup he's made in Spaces before.)

-"Was Molly a feral child?" "Nah, I think she was very behaved."

-Martin says that Rosemary's sister's name is Laura Peony, and that she's intended to appear in Season Two. He says that Rosemary and her sister don't really speak too much, and that Rosemary doesn't like her family that much, and doesn't speak to either her sister or her mother.

-Kyle asks Martin to list a favorite drink for everyone in the Walten Family. Martin complains about this question, saying that it's so much work, and asking how the hell he's supposed to know that, but spitballs some answers anyway. He says that Jack would like Ramazzotti or Wine, that Sophie would probably like Mojito, that Rosemary would like Champagne, and that Edd & Molly are too young to drink :( .

Kyle chastises Martin for his interpretation of the question, and tells him to pick non-alcoholic answers. Martin says that Molly would like Pepsi, and that Edd would like liquid mercury. He also jokes that Jack would have a gallon of root beer in his office.

#the walten files #twitter space recap #this was like easily one of my favorite twitter spaces i had such a good time listening honestly #i'm addicted to these. i need more. so badly

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