#*upset
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The sunflower I grew from seed has been killed by the management company gardeners, because as well as mowing the lawn they mowed the flowerbed. Two had already been lost to caterpillars but the final one was going strong, bud forming, and I was really looking forward to it flowering. I’m perhaps unreasonably despondent about this, it’s just a single flower, but it’s kind of ruined my evening.
#aj rambles#they also mowed everything else in the bed bar a rose bush#so no flowers for us#if caterpillars had got it I think I’d be less upset#*upset#like that’s the way it goes sometimes#the gardeners mowing your bloody plants is not ‘how it goes sometimes’#it was a dwarf sunflower if anyone is wondering how it could be ready to flower and yet mowable
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🙁
#STOP!!!!#i can probably hit “stop recommending” somewhere on instagram I'm more updet that this means other people will get him recommended as well#and all for following the rlm dudes :|#*upset
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well 🧍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.
#if youre feeling upset or disillusioned i am right there with you#but now more than ever#i want to remind you of the importance of community#check in on your friends#advocate for your friends#protect your friends#protect your community and who you love and care about#and we will get through this#my dms and inbox are always open#even if you just want to vent#im also so sad right now but we have to be strong and stick together right now#(also if youre not american pls understand this affects us all and to not invalidate the feelings of americans)
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I want to step away from the art-vs-artist side of the Gaiman issue for a bit, and talk about, well, the rest of it. Because those emotions you're feeling would be the same without the art; the art just adds another layer.
Source: I worked with a guy who turned out to be heavily involved in an international, multi-state sex-slavery/trafficking ring.
He was really nice.
Yeah.
It hits like a dumptruck of shit. You don't feel stable in your world anymore. How could someone you interacted with, liked, also be a truly horrible person? How could your judgement be that bad? How can real people, not stylized cartoon bogeymen, be actually doing this shit?
You have to sit with the fact that you couldn't, or probably couldn't, have known. You should have no guilt as part of this horror — but guilt is almost certainly part of that mess you're feeling, because our brains do this associative thing, and somehow "I liked [the version of] the guy [that I knew]", or his creations, becomes "I made a horrible mistake and should feel guilty."
You didn't, loves, you didn't.
We're human, and we can only go by the information we have. And the information we have is only the smallest glimpse into someone else's life.
I didn't work closely with the guy I knew at work, but we chatted. He wasn't just nice; he was one of the only people outside my tiny department who seemed genuinely nice in a workplace that was rapidly becoming incredibly toxic. He loaned me a bike trainer. Occasionally he'd see me at the bus stop and give me a lift home.
Yup. I was a young woman in my twenties and rode in this guy's car. More than once.
When I tell this story that part usually makes people gasp. "You must feel so scared about what could have happened to you!" "You're so lucky nothing happened!"
No, that's not how it worked. I was never in danger. This guy targeted Korean women with little-to-no English who were coerced and powerless. A white, fluent, US citizen coworker wasn't a potential victim. I got to be a person, not prey.
Y'know that little warning bell that goes off, when you're around someone who might be a danger to you? That animal sense that says "Something is off here, watch out"?
Yeah, that doesn't ping if the preferred prey isn't around.
That's what rattled me the most about this. I liked to think of myself as willing to stand up for people with less power than me. I worked with Japanese exchange students in college and put myself bodily between them and creeps, and I sure as hell got that little alarm when some asian-schoolgirl fetishist schmoozed on them. But we were all there.
I had to learn that the alarm won't go off when the hunter isn't hunting. That it's not the solid indicator I might've thought it was. That sometimes this is what the privilege of not being prey does; it completely masks your ability to detect the horrors that are going on.
A lot of people point out that 'people like that' have amazing charisma and ability to lie and manipulate, and that's true. Anyone who's gotten away with this shit for decades is going to be way smoother than the pathetic little hangers-on I dealt with in university. But it's not just that. I seriously, deeply believe that he saw me as a person, and he did not extend personhood to his victims. We didn't have a fake coworker relationship. We had a real one. And just like I don't know the ins-and-outs of most of my coworkers lives, I had no idea that what he did on his down time was perpetrate horrors.
I know this is getting off the topic, but it's so very important. Especially as a message to cis guys: please understand that you won't recognize a creep the way you might think you will. If you're not the preferred prey, the hind-brain alarm won't go off. You have to listen to victims, not your gut feeling that the person seems perfectly nice and normal. It doesn't mean there's never a false accusation, but face the fact that it's usually real, and you don't have enough information to say otherwise.
So, yeah. It fucking sucks. Writing about this twists my insides into tense knots, and it was almost a decade ago. I was never in danger. No one I knew was hurt!
Just countless, powerless women, horrifically abused by someone who was nice to me.
You don't trust your own judgement quite the same way, after. And as utterly shitty as it is, as twisted up and unstead-in-the-world as I felt the day I found out — I don't actually think that's a bad thing.
I think we all need to question our own judgement. It makes us better people.
I don't see villains around every corner just because I knew one, once. But I do own the fact that I can't know, really know, about anyone except those closest to me. They have their own full lives. They'll go from the pinnacles of kindness to the depths of depravity — and I won't know.
It's not a failing. It's just being human. Something to remember before you slap labels on people, before you condemn them or idolize them. Think about how much you can't know, and how flawed our judgement always is.
Grieve for victims, and the feeling of betrayal. But maybe let yourself off the hook, and be a bit slower to skewer others on it.
#listen to old auntie Shades#serious#fuck I don't know how to tag this#I should probably read-more this but I'm not sure where#and now I need to go take a walk for my stupid mental health#you never stop processing#you do it over and over and over and over#and hope it gets a bit easier each time#Someone might get upset by using prey#but 'preferred prey' is an important concept from the predator's view#it doesn't mean the people are inherently prey#you feel me?#it's the best word I can find for the concept#neil gaiman#adjacent
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Some more jayvik Pacific Rim au since everyone asked so nicely!! Jayce is making sure Vik grows big and strong by stealing all the protein from the mess hall.
The lore behind Vik's short hair is that he crashed out around 3am, unable to solve a mathematical theorem, and forced Jayce to cut all his hair off with craft scissors in the dark. [nods nods]
#jayce tried to talk vik out of making brash decisions while upset but folded once he saw hot tears in Vik's face#folded like an omelette#so Jayce tried his best and vik loves all the new attention he gets around the Shatterdome#he thinks its the hair but ITS ACTUALLY his tiny gains#jayvik#jayce talis#viktor arcane#jayvik fanart#jayce x viktor#art#fanart#arcane#arcane fanart#pacific rim
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There seems to be a general malaise on most of Tumblr about TikTok getting banned in the United States.
I understand the problems, "brain rot", whatever but- A government banning a social media app that opened the world for many people is legitimately scary and upsetting. Say what you want but, there are MANY global and local issues that would not have gotten the same traction, recognition, and outreach without TikTok.
And then add to this that Meta/Facebook was one the largest lobbyists working to get TikTok banned... Like- I think folks should be more concerned about the implications of what this means, especially since the ban goes into effect the day before inauguration.
#Its more than “a silly dance app”#Gave Americans and others a first hand look into international issues such as Palestine and Ukraine#TikTok was a HUGE part of the BLM movement in 2020#luigi mangione#We saw things happen in real time we wouldn't have known as much about without everyday TikTok users posting and reporting on things#Further censorship like this is REALLY scary#If they can get rid of TikTok for the reasons theyre trying what happens next#tiktok#tiktok ban#2025#I know what I'm saying isn't perfect but just I'm worried and upset
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Ghost!jason and Damian - definition of enemies to bros. From jason rightfully haunting damian's spoiled ass, to teaching the robin way, to a ghost mourning party.
Part 5 | Part 6 of Ghost Jason Series
AN: are we close to the end of the ghost Jason series??
#jason todd#damian wayne#batfamily#batman#dc comics#my art#ghost!jason#jason misses his timmy#and dami makes dick and bruce work twice as harder#hence the dislike#“no more dead robins” he said💀#jason is more upset about the fact that dami is a ghost#cuz being a ghost is hard man#Alfred’s canonnly infamous waffles
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I'm wondering if, as a society who cares about vulnerable people, we could stop saying "traumatize" when we truly mean "upset"?
I am sick of hearing sad books or movies "traumatize" their readers. I simply do not believe that happens. A traumatic experience might be adjacent to books (I have vivid memories of books I was reading around certain experiences and even how the contents of those books affected my processing of the experiences). But it's not caused by the book. And, y'know. The weather is Christofascist Censorship Attempts outside.
Meanwhile from the other side I continue to be surprised at just how badly people fail to understand trauma and traumatic experiences in general. Watering down the term isn't helping. Find other hyperbole to express that The Bridge to Terebithia gutted you, chewed on your heartstrings, and made you cry your first pair of contact lenses right out of your preteen eyes.
(ETA here although it's impossible to edit reblogs: over the months since this post really took off, there has been valuable discussion in the comments. I stand by the passion with which I wrote this post and with the general message, but not all the exact wording. I talk more about the way I'd re-write this post in a response here, replying to an addition that added a ton of useful context [other additions touched on similar themes, but that person had it all together in one reblog]. With that said, I am muting this post.)
#I know I'm not the first person to say this but#a book cannot put you in visceral fear of your safety or someone else's safety#reading is not a traumatic experience#it may be a triggering experience if you are already traumatized by something else. that is different.#meanwhile actual trauma is not always experienced as consciously upsetting!#people may act extremely chill while being traumatized!#only to then be judged by a peanut gallery on how they handled things#<one reblog recommended not using 'peanut gallery' in the future so I'll amend to say: an audience of uninvolved onlookers#trauma
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can't believe we're all adults being forced into the club penguin level of censorship in 2024
#ramble#if you say unalive in front of me i will personally kill you with my hands#you just can't muffle and censor and hold someone's hand through some things#some things are horrible. and they should be spoken aloud and they should upset you. because they are horrible#the second we started kidzbopifying the world was the end of taking anything seriously i think#i'm not even joking i've spoken to people older than me who won't even say the world sex#this isn't the playground you're not going to get in trouble just let us say the word!!!!!!#how am i supposed to listen to you when you won't even say the thing you're supposed to be talking about#yes this is the fault of the platforms with their censorship rules but the fact that we all just go along with it like it's not dystopian#you do know it doesn't stop with cursing right. people are already having to censor queer terms because they get flagged as inappropriate
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Personally I think that Telemachus permanently and irreversibly changed Athena for the better, more on that at twelve
#I’m sorry for the WORST possible quality pictures and sketches#but they’re fr all I can think about#wisdom saga is where I live now#epic athena#epic telemachus#epic the wisdom saga#epic the musical#epic the musical fanart#sorry to do meta in the tags bug#I think the idea that telemachus’s friendship might have turned Athena into the person she got upset with Odysseus for being#would be delicious#also if you see any inconsistencies in character design or clothes no you didn’t#can’t wait to be able to digital again holy fuck
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Perry gets busteddd
#Started colouring this but it looked better w/o it#also upset cos I had accidentally combined all layers on the first page#so it was harder to clean up#oh well!#Candace got him that Ducky Momo charm btw…#important lore#pnf#phineas and ferb#perry the platypus#human perry#vanessa doofenshmirtz#candace flynn#my art
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A wizard, his "cat", and a quiet morning read
#gale dekarios#tara the tressym#I am so in love with him it's making me SICK#baldur's gate 3#tara#bg3#I am also upset bc this was supposed to be a gif#but I couldn't figure out how to post it in high res#art#my art#artists on tumblr#artwork#illustration#gale of waterdeep
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ceo of united healthcare i hope you die I hope you die I hope you die screaming and soaked in piss I hope you step on a lego I truly wish you the most pain it is possible to survive at irregular intervals to prevent numbness or getting used to it
i need to replace my iud and I'm going to commit a felony murder or arson
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RIP Val Kilmer 💔
#val kilmer#moviegifs#fyeahmovies#filmedit#userfilm#cinemapix#cinematv#filmtvcentral#filmtvtoday#usermichi#tuserlou#usersav#usersam#userchristineb#useranimusvox#zombooyah#top gun maverick#willow#the doors#batman forever#tombstone#the saint#kiss kiss bang bang#heat#genuinely upset over this
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After the Bite of 83 in FNAF..
#myart#chloesimagination#comic#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#fnaf fanart#michael afton#william afton#fnaf 4#bite of 83#I think about the aftermath of events in FNAF#especially among the Aftons#I can’t imagine Michael of course is traumatized after the bite#while William I like the idea he didn’t display normal emotions#maybe to strangers he plays up being upset#but to Michael he’s just cold annoyed that he has to deal with this situation at all#that the bite was nothing more than an inconvenience
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