#....................these are the kinds of things I think about when somebody suggests a low-key low-stress crossover concept to me haha | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

taetaesbaebaepsae · 6 years

Text

BTS as FWB

Hyung Line

My sister and I were talking about this yesterday so I thought I'd do a post about how bts would handle being a fwb (spoiler alert they all catch feelings eventually)

**Also I take requests for BTS and maybe Monsta X so hmu in my asks, fam**

Hyung Line (Maknae Line coming up bc this got Loooong)

Warnings: smut, angst, fluff, alcohol tw

Word Count: 1,779

Namjoon (RM)

If it was your idea, he would be so down like "yeah of course who needs relationships?" but low-key he wanted to confess to you 5 seconds before you suggested an arrangement

Puts that mouth to WORK

Likes it a little rough but nothing that would leave bruises or hickeys that's for amateurs

He has a downright filthy mouth this boy will have you clutching your pearls with the nasty shit he'll say (you love it)

Late night convos, this boy will text you at 3am not for a booty call but just to talk to you

He's more of an emotional booty call than just sexual, he'll come to you when he's stressed or upset

Don't get me wrong, he'll fuck your brains out but expect lots of pillow talk, especially if he's been drinking

Takes you out for coffee, will buy you breakfast, insists to his friends he isn't dating you since he doesn't take you out at night

You're the only one he's fucking, though he flirts a lot

If he runs into you at a club and you're dancing with someone else, God help you

He won't be mean just stupid charming, doing his best to lure you away for a night of crazy sex

If it doesn't work though, he'll be high key salty, pouty, whiny

You'll get texts until daylight because he'll keep drinking, imagining you with someone else

He might show up at your door at 6am, shitfaced, honestly

"Did you bring that clown home? No, I'm not jealous, I just wanted to talk to you."

You're weak so you let him in and he spends all day at your place recovering from his hangover

He will only admit he's caught feelings if you do first or if he thinks you're getting serious with someone else

If you go on dates he'll pick a fight with you about nothing and when you're yelling at him he'll just kiss you senseless.

"I love you, ok?"

You start dating him before you even know what's happening the smartass manipulative little shit

Jin

The biggest fuckboi of the group don't @me

He's a pro at this

After he got cheated on all his relationships are fwb arrangements and they always catch feelings first

Not you, though, you know he's a fuckboi and you know what you're in for

This boy will make you laugh during sex he's never serious he'll make you come while you're giggling over some stupid shit he said

Sexts, sexts, sexts

He will never stop dirty texting you while you're in an inappropriate place like work or dinner with your family

God forbid you tell him you're going on a date, then dick pics and sexts galore

He's not jealous, he's territorial, he wants to be the best you've ever had (he is but you would die before you'd admit that)

This boy is not even a little exclusive with you, at least not at first

He'd invite you over to meet his friends and be shook at how well you fit in

You start playing video games with Jungkook and when Kookie starts looking at you with stars in his eyes Jin goes all possessive puppy

All over you at all times he's not ashamed of you he just isn't ready for a relationship

Like Namjoon he will use you for emotional comfort too, although his pillow talk will be mostly jokes and flirting

Your convos don't get too serious unless he's had WAY too much to drink

Then he tells you about his ex and shit gets real for a second before he wakes up the next morning his flirty self again

He gradually stops texting the other booty calls he has on lock, just telling himself you're better in bed, that's all

Finds out you have another fwb when he comes to your house at 3am drunk

He is SO salty, there is less salt in the Pacific ocean

He's whiny and pouty and shading the other dude constantly

"Jealous? Why would I be jealous I'm just wondering why you bother with him, he's ugly."

But if he hung out with you and the other guy would not let on ONE bit. Makes friends with him, I easy going even if he's a bit touchy feely with you

But low-key stares at you like a kicked puppy when no one is paying attention

His friends are all like "what did you do to him?"

YOUR friends are like "what'd you do to him he looks so heartbroken"

He only admits to catching feelings when you get so fed up you say it's done and you are over it

He gets mean when he sees you with the other guy on a real date and says some cruel shit

You are D O N E

Block his number done

He will 100% show up drunk at your house

He's cute so you let him in and he really does look like a kicked puppy

Honest with you for the first time bc he's scared of losing you

"I still don't know if I can trust anyone enough for a relationship but you make me wanna try it. Don't cut me out."

Yoongi (Suga)

He would only agree to a fwb arrangement if he had some feelings for you

He's not the type to fuck around with a girl he can't see himself dating

Definitely the fuck and run type at first zero pillow talk

Absolute master with his hands and fingers LORD

Not too vocal during sex but it makes him crazy when you are if you want him to nut fast you just gotta moan his name

Won't say anything non sexual unless he's drinking even then it's low key like "You look pretty tonight."

Texts you for booty calls like "hey dumbass wyd"

Will not take you for coffee or be seen in public with you, bc he's worried you're ashamed of him, not the other way around. Otherwise why wouldn't you date him?

You have no clue he likes you. Absolutely none he barely talks to you unless he's horny

He loves it when you booty call him he's so smiley and sweet when that happens

He's so soft to you when you get too drunk at his house party and throw up

He sits behind you as you hug the toilet and strokes your hair for hours

You're shocked to wake up in his bed since he has a strict no overnights rule

Scolds you for drinking so much but brings you breakfast in bed and is low-key a sweetheart through your hangover

You: shook. Your heart: full

You don't tell him you're seeing other people until he point blank asks you. When you say yes, he just nods

"Good we always use condoms then."

Will ignore you and be kind of a dick when he finds out but that's not uncommon so you are still oblivious

If you wait on him to admit to catching feelings you will die waiting

Only one way you will find out

One of his dumbass friends lets something slip when they're drunk (It's probably Jin)

You're complaining about how he's ignoring you at the party

"Bitch he's so whipped for you his lockscreen is your selfie."

You cannot believe it

You think it's bullshit

You end up sleeping in Jungkook's room that night bc you fell asleep whupping his ass at Mortal Kombat

The next morning somebody is slamming every door in the house and throwing dishes around.

Jungkook's door is open so he saw you cuddled up to the maknae

He big mad

When you finally get him to talk about it (probably days later)

"I just don't want you fucking my friends it's messy."

You only find out the lockscreen shit is true when you grab his phone by accident

He knows you know he fucking BAILS

Books it outta your life for like a week

The only way you pin him down is by texting him a paragraph about how you like him too

He kisses you so sweet when you see him next and he's all smiles and affectionate

You're dating now, that's it, no need for discussion

RIP Kookie tho he'll never trust him again despite you telling him a thousand times nothing happened

Hoseok (J-Hope)

He agrees because he is literally down for anything

Definitely a good time this boy is so much fun in bed

Will try anything once and I mean ANYTHING

You wanna tie him up? Definitely. You want him to eat whipped cream off your tiddies? Tell him when and where

The world's biggest switch don't @me

Has a thing for public sex, loves to finger you on a dance floor

Y'all do everything together, everyone thinks you're just dating

He's a big goofball with you in public, v affectionate

He's your best friend and you're his

Y'all don't take anything seriously when one of you is upset you text each other dumb selfies and fuck it out next time you hang out

Never drunk dials you you won't even know he's out until you see him on the dancefloor with some girl

Y'all compete to see who can dirty dance with the most people before you go home together

Feelings? He's never heard of them

Least likely of all the boys to catch feelings first

Would take him FOREVER to realize he actually likes you

I'm talking y'all have been fucking for MONTHS before he catches on

If he gets jealous he'll just think it's bc he's competitive

If you make him sad by not hanging out with him he'll think he just wants the attention

Feelings hit him like a brick when he finally realizes

You're in his car jamming to his latest track and you're singing and dancing like a fool with your hair flipping around and all of a sudden it's like the sun shines only on you

The boy is SHOOK

He gets real quiet

Scary quiet

You think he's mad but when you ask him he blows you off with a smile saying he's tired

You don't hear from him for a couple of days

He's pacing around his place and trying to process, talking to friends and trying to decide what to do

Everyone tells him to just tell you ofc

Confident boy is not used to feeling insecure he's hesitant.

"What if she doesn't love me back?"

There's no dramatic reveal

He really just asks you on a date

A REAL one

Nothing much changes, honestly, he has always been your bff and being your bf is just a bonus

3K notes · View notes

thechildoflightning · 5 years

Text

The Kübler-Ross Model Ch2- Anger

Title: The Kübler-Ross Model [Masterpost]

Fandom: Sanders Sides

Pairings: background LAMP, Elliot/Mitchell

~~~

Chapter Title: Anger- Chapter Two

Summary:

Stage Two: Anger- Characterized by high energy and coped up frustrations that begin to pour out by lashing out at others or yourself.

In which Remy is angry about everything.

Warnings: Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Verbal Fights, Toxic Relationships (hinted at), Transphobia (mentioned), Exclusionary Rhetoric (mentioned), Ableism

[ao3 link]

~~~

Anger- Chapter Two

“Selected: Voicemail. One item. Tab one of one,” Remy’s phone says, sounding almost bitter. Remy sighs, at this point already knowing who it’s from. He puts his finger to the screen, sliding it around as he searches for the desired section.

“Voicemail.”

One finger down.

“Daniel Zurko. M-”

Double tap.

“Remy. This is childish and has gone on way too long. I canceled the credit card. I expect you to call me so we can get you home. I get that you’re upset, but this is not the way to deal with it. You think I’m the bad guy but I am doing what’s best for you Remy, I always have. You need to grow up. You’re an adult now, act like one. Call me. Come home. Now.”

Moving into the dorms is a surprisingly low-key event. Remy gets to move in early, as does Kai, so they're not trying to get things done in the time most of the freshman are piling in. It’s a lot nicer that way. They don’t have people on top of them- actually they have pretty much no one on top of them- and that lowers Remy’s stress by a lot.

Except, this definitely wasn’t something he’s stressing about.

Okay, maybe he's been stressing about it a little bit.

It’s well- it’s just this an entire new place and the campus is huge. He’s visited a few times now to start getting a layout, but he knows it’s going to take weeks before he can find his way around with ease. It’s nice to start on that when no one else is here yet. It gives Remy space and he feels a little bit less self-conscious.

(It’s stupid that he feels self-conscious at all, he shouldn’t, but he does, so there’s that).

Kai and him get their dorm set up and decorated as well.

Or well- it’s mostly Remy setting things up while Kai comments snarkily from the corner that the bed doesn’t line up perfectly. (They had to move everything a bit to make space for Cha-Cha). Remy doesn’t really mind because it’s nice to see Kai relaxing. He seemed uncomfortable and unsure when he admitted that he couldn’t do any of the heavy lifting, so Remy takes the return to teasing as a good sign.

They decorate the dorm next and it’s fun and it’s easy and Remy’s really thinking he’s found a friend in Kai.

Then Kai falls silent.

“Kai?” Remy asks when he stops making comments every two seconds.

“Yeah?”

“You good?”

Kai hesitates and Remy frowns. Remy’s about to ask a follow up question, but Kai beats him to speaking.

“Hey so, I brought two pride flags. I was hoping I could put them up in our room.”

Oh.

“Of course,” Remy says easily.

“I- yeah?”

“Yeah. Kai we’re literally in gender-inclusive dorming right now. But I mean, even if we weren't, yeah of course you can,” Remy insists, voice firm and even.

“Okay,” Kai says. He relaxes. “Okay.”

The tension in the room evaporates and Remy breathes out.

“Which flags?” he asks, curiosity peaking.

“Trans and demiboy,” Kai tells him.

Remy didn’t know you could be both trans and a demiboy. But that's probably better to google than to bug Kai with right now.

“I didn’t know there was a demiboy flag,” he admits.

The comment seems to perk Kai up and he explains to him the dark grey-grey-blue-white-and reverse of the demiboy flag. The two of them hang the flags up together.

Kai gives him a hard time about hanging one up the wrong way and it takes Remy a solid minute to remember that both flags are reversible. He flips Kai off and scowls. Kai just laughs. The conversation turns casual once more.

“Oh!” Kai says at one point, moving quickly to sift through a bag on the other side of the room, “I got a thing and you can tell me if you hate the thing and if so I can return it, but you said that you have some light perception so…” he trails off.

There was a pause for a moment where neither of them said anything.

“Thoughts?” Kai eventually asks again.

“On?”

“Ah man- you can’t see it?”

“Don’t know if we’ve talked about this yet but I’m blind actually,” Remy snarks back.

Kai groans.

“No just- okay catch.”

“Please tell me you’re not about to chuck something at a blind person Kai.”

The object lands softly next to him on the bed. Remy doesn’t know if that was intentional, or if Kai just failed to hit him. Either way Remy sighs and picks it up. The object is a box and has a thin circular button at one corner, but he still has no clue what it is.

“They’re fairy lights,” Kai explains, “Sorry. You said that you liked light and I thought you’d be able to see it because you said that you could see light.”

“Some light,” Remy says. He holds it up to his eyes and now he can barely see little tiny specs of light. “And I can kinda see it now. Is the box completely clear?”

“Yeah. Sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing?”

“Uh…”

“I told you I liked light. You went out of your way to get fairy lights for our dorm. It’s an awesome idea, not your fault my eyes don’t work.”

“Yeah but the gift kind of failed.”

“Well if you like them we can still keep them. And if not- well you said you can return them? Depending on where they’re from we can see if we can find fairy lights I can actually see,” Remy suggests.

“Oh my gosh we could- there was a ton of options.”

Remy nods and stands up.

“Okay, where too?”

“Right now?” Kai asks.

“I mean it depends on where you got these, but yeah? I mean we have the time.”

That they do, now that they’ve mostly finished.

“Target. So there’s gotta be one locally.”

They spend a few minutes online, figure out the address, and then Remy’s getting up to go. He gets Cha-Cha in her harness and grabs his things before opening the door for a swing and waiting for Kai. Kai joins him at the door, hesitates for a second, and then grabs something right next to the door. At first Remy thinks it’s the bag, but Kai’s already holding that. Remy exits after him.

“I have a cane,” Kai says quietly. Which okay- that was the object by the door.

“Okay,” Remy says. “Do you want to take the bus?”

“No.”

Remy listens. He knows if it were him, he would just want somebody to listen.

“Okay. Where’s the Target?”

Kai takes the lead and they’re off.

The Target is massive. But also Remy’s depth perception is shit so maybe it’s that but he’s pretty sure this is the largest Target he’s ever seen. By a lot.

“Holy shit this place is huge,” Kai remarks.

Remy murmurs his agreement. He hadn’t really known what living in a college town would mean. He’s starting to think he understands.

They make a beeline for the fairy lights which take up almost an entire aisle. They mess around, pressing all the buttons to light them up and see what their options are.

“I can’t see any of these,” Remy admits after a while, “The lights in here are too bright. But brighter and bigger is better, so if you find something that-”

“Remy there’s rainbow ones. Come here, come here, they’re shaped like rainbows.”

“We’re getting those.”

“They’re not that bright.”

“I literally do not care.”

They get the rainbow-shaped ones.

They head back- both a bit too excited about the rainbow-shaped lights to be considered socially acceptable. But also fuck socially acceptable so whatever. They’re adults and they can enjoy fairy lights. Step off.

Kai and him are talking when he suddenly stops and leaves Remy’s side.

“Hi,” Kai says, “Are you moving in today too?”

“I- uh- yeah- hi,” a person stutters.

“Oh cool! I’m Kai. He/they pronouns but he right now.” The jingling noise that follows is indication that Kai holds up his pronouns necklace. “And this is my roommate.”

It takes a second to long for Remy to realize he’s supposed to introduce himself.

“I’m Remy,” he says, turning to face the stranger. “He/him.”

Something inside of him clenches hard when he says those words. Clenches hards, grips his heart, and burns. It burns so much, choking Remy that he almost misses the strangers next words.

“I’m Elliot,” the now not-stranger says, “They/them.”

“Nice to meet you Elliot,” Kai says.

They don’t get must further in conversation because another person speaks up.

“El, hon? Who’s this?”

“I’m Kai, he/they, he right now. This is Remy, he/him. We just moved in here across the hall.”

“Oh you get to do that whole move in early stuff too? You’re blind, right?”

The second question is obviously directed at Remy, so he answers both.

“Yeah and yeah.”

“Huh. Well I’m Mitchell, I’m his boyfriend.”

A boyfriend who just misgendered their partner apparently. But Elliot doesn't say anything and Remy just met them so he doesn’t say anything either.

“Uh, nice to meet you,” Remy offers. Kai offers the same pleasantries.

“Okay. Well Elliot, we should get to finish moving you in. You still have a lot of stuff and if you’re going to make me help you I don’t want to be here all day.”

“If you need to go you can,” Elliot says.

“What, you trying to get rid of me already? Plus come on, you’re not going to be able to do it all yourself. And you’re wasting time. Let’s go.”

“Okay,” Elliot says, “Yeah.”

“He’ll talk to you later,” Mitchell tells the two of them.

“I- Right,” Kai says, “Well, Elliot I- we’re just down the hall. 204. So, anytime, pop by, yeah?”

“Yeah alright I-”

“Yeah he might, bye.”

“Elliot seems nice. But Mitchell doesn’t seem like the nicest guy,” Kai comments when the other two have presumably exited earshot. Remy gives a shrug and a slight nod in response. He pulls out his key and finds the lock on their door before pushing it open with a swing.

“Fairy lights?” he asks.

“Fairy lights,” Kai agrees.

Remy still ends up not being able to see them all that well- though they were certainly better than the first set. But rainbows, so he counts it as a win.

When they’ve finished decorating their room, Remy relaxes on his bed and pulls out his phone. He plugs in his headphones and opens google. Kai had both the trans and demiboy flags. Remy wants to know what that means.

He researches a lot about being non-binary and trans and he reads a lot about the exclusionist who demand you have to be identify as binary and experience crippling gender dysphoria to be considered trans. Everyone else is just faking or special or being dramatic. He thinks of Kai and he frowns. He ignores the exclusionists.

He finds celebrations of being trans and non-binary and being happy that way. He finds non-binary people who consider themselves trans and others who don’t. He finds the range of non-binary from androgynous presentation to falling to the extreme sides of masculine or feminine. He learns that people can also be assholes about that, about how many people expect non-binary people to look “watered down male.” He learns that non-binary looks like anything and everything. He finds people who are trans that use all sorts of labels. He finds people who are trans and are binary. He finds people who are trans with all levels of fluctuating dysphoria, stages of transition- including not transitioning at all, and more.

He learns that there’s so many more ways to be trans than he previously thought.

He hates it.

He hates it because it means something to him, means something to him more than just being an ally.

The transgender umbrella is amazing and beautiful and there’s so many people who have so many experiences, some they share, some they don’t. It’s a wonderful community and it’s gorgeous and Remy-

He’s angry.

He’s so fucking angry. Because he’s Remy and he’s a boy and he’s eighteen and he’s lived this way his entire life and this is who he is he’s Remy and he’s a cis guy and-

And what if he isn’t?

He squeezes his phone tightly in his hand. Hard enough apparently that Kai asks if anything’s wrong. He starts to answer no when he gets a phone call. From his dad.

He hits ignore angrily and stands up, shoving his phone in his pocket.

“I’m going for a walk,” he announces, and barely takes the time to grab his shoes before he’s slamming the door behind him. He doesn’t even bother with Cha-Cha, grabbing his cane instead.

That first week goes fast and soon enough everyone else moves in. They meet a few people, and start talking to Elliot. When Mitchell’s not around Elliot’s really funny. When Mitchell is around they short of shut down and Remy hates it. A little fire burns in his chest each time it happens.

They go to the freshman movie night and both Elliot and Kai are already learning to give a shitty description of what’s going on on screen and they all laugh and the people next to them hiss at them to be quiet. It’s okay. It’s nice.

Before long, classes start and Remy remembers how frustrating it can all be.

He’s been working with disability services since he committed to the school. Over the years he’s learned that early is almost always better, because everything just takes time and then there’s issues and delays, it’s a long process.

It’s also Remy’s first time doing this alone and he makes mistakes and he feels like an idiot and he can’t help but hate his dad a little bit because he’s been asking to do some of this himself for years now, to get used to it, get some practice. His dad had always refused and now Remy is woefully underprepared.

It reminds himself of when he was first going blind. When everything was new and confusing and he constantly felt lost and alone.

It’s been years since he felt like that.

He doesn’t like feeling like that.

He figures the accommodations out in the end and gets the things he needs to set up. Note taker, permission to record, extra time, accessibility devices approved, and requests to all his professors to have things ready and accessible. It should all be good to go. But, there’s of course hiccups because there always is. And a week into school, he still doesn’t have notes from one of his classes.

It’s absolutely infuriating.

Because now he has a paper to write and he has to listen to the entirety of three separate lectures to find the things he needs.

It sucks and it’s unfair and time consuming and Remy hates it. He clenches a fist as he pauses the recording and goes back once more.

It’s something so small but it makes him so goddamn frustrated.

He plays it again but he can’t hear it this time because at that exact moment Kai laughs from his corner of the room where he’s skyping his girlfriend.

He pauses the recording.

“Can you be quieter?” he hisses out, “I’m trying to write a paper.”

“Yeah. Sorry Rem. Want me to put in headphones?”

It’s a nice offer.

“Yes.”

“Okay,” Kai agrees. He gasps a bit when he stands, pauses for a moment. Remy doesn’t restart his recording and listens, slightly concerned. But Kai moves after a moment, grabbing his headphones from the desk next to Remy. He’s limping slightly.

When he returns to his bed and has the headphones in, Remy takes a breath and presses play.

And pauses a moment later because Kai’s a bit too loud again. It’s unfair- Remy knows it is- because Kai’s really not that loud. But it’s loud enough to be distracting and Remy cannot deal with this tonight.

“Can you shut up?” he snaps.

“...I ...Uh?”

Remy is so angry.

“Whatever. Forget it,” he huffs. He saves his work and shuts his laptop with a snap. He shoves it, his braille display, and the recorder in his bag. He grabs his phone and shoves it in his pocket. Grabbing his bag he heads for the door. He barely spends the time to get Cha-Cha in her harness.

“Remy- come on- wait-”

“I’m going out,” he hisses. The door slams behind him. It seems to be doing that a lot lately.

“Oh hey Remy,” Elliot says almost the moment he’s out the door.

“I’m going to the library,” Remy grumbles and moves past them.

“Okay,” Elliot says, running a few paces to catch up with him, “Can I join you? I have this thing for religions and-”

“No. You can’t join me,” Remy snarls, and pulls away.

Elliot stops, stumbling for words behind him. Remy leaves them behind. He doesn’t feel bad. He doesn’t.

He goes to the library and finds a corner that’s empty. He sets his things up and tries to focus.

He still can’t.

He had to keep rewinding and replaying the lecture because he still doesn’t have the notes even though he was told he’d start receiving them a week ago. He checked again the other day and he was told he’d definitely have them by today.

He doesn’t have the notes.

He doesn’t know what to do.

He’s mad and he’s angry and he’s frustrated and he’s so pissed and he thinks it’s a bit extreme but definitely not unreasonable. He hates this. Hates it.

He used to hate being blind. Over the years he’s learned that’s not the part that frustrates him. It was scary at the time, sure. But losing his sight wasn't the upsetting part- the upsetting part was being in a world who wasn’t willing to meet his needs. A world that was certainly able to meet his needs, or attempt to if they really couldn’t, but wasn’t willing to even try.

It’s ableism that he hates, not being blind.

With a sigh he packs up his things. He’s not getting anything else done tonight. He pulls out his phone and messes around with it a bit, trying to ward off the creeping frustrations that are starting to overwhelm him. He feels choked up and he’s not sure why.

Then he gets a call.

For a millisecond he thinks it might be Kai.

God he was a dick to Kai wasn’t he? If Kai’s calling him Remy can apologize. He can make things right and things will be fine. It’s fine.

It’s his dad.

Remy chucks his phone.

It’s extreme and so fucking stupid but he’s suddenly furious and he doesn’t know what to do about it. His phone goes skittering across the floor and the two people quietly murmuring near him fall silent. Remy sighs and hates himself a little bit.

He takes a breath.

It doesn't help.

He takes another.

It doesn’t help. Nothing’s helping.

He has Cha-Cha get his phone.

When she brings it back to him he checks it for cracks and then goes to his contacts. He finds the one he needs and double taps to call.

The phone rings twice before it’s answered.

“Hey,” Remy saus, “I- can I spend the night at your place?”

“Yes,” is Virgil’s immediate response, “Are you safe? Do you want a ride? I’m not home right now but I can text Patton.”

Remy checks the time. It’s not too late. The cool air will probably do him good anyways.

“I’m safe,” he confirms, “No to the ride. I’ll be there soon.”

“Okay,” Virgil says. He pauses, “Love you Remy.”

Something burns in his throat.

“Okay. Okay yeah,” Remy chokes out. He hangs up and blinks back tears, refusing to cry. He wants to scream. He doesn’t- everything’s just so much right now and he doesn’t know what he’s feeling anymore.

He packs his things up. Grabs Cha-Cha. Heads to Virgil’s apartment.

On his way there a random person grabs him by his shoulder and asks him if he needs help. He grits out a terse “no.” He gets a “well you don’t have to be rude about it. I was trying to help!” Remy’s teeth grit further, making an odd little screeching noise and causing pain to run all throughout his mouth. He doesn’t risk saying anything more, and just pushes past the stranger.

He knocks on the door when he arrives. He still has a key, but doesn’t really feel like digging through his bag.

It’s Patton who greets him.

Remy shuffles off his shoes at the door, mind blurring. He hears Patton say something about Virgil and the library, he should've texted you- but Remy misses all the details.

“Hey Remy, are you okay?”

Remy is not.

He’s going to tell Patton he’s fine. He is. He promises he is.

He doesn’t end up saying that, but even he isn’t expecting what he says next.

“Patton, how did you know you were trans?”

“Oh,” Patton says, “Oh.”

And that’s when Remy finally bursts into tears.

~~~

taglist below

-ask to be added or removed-

@mewithanie @eddies-spaghetti @lemonyellowlogic @savioursailor @goldteethandacurseforthistown @you-betcha-weirdo

21 notes · View notes

ihaveonlymydreams · 5 years

Text

If you’ve ever put off an important task by, say, alphabetizing your spice drawer, you know it wouldn’t be fair to describe yourself as lazy.

After all, alphabetizing requires focus and effort — and hey, maybe you even went the extra mile to wipe down each bottle before putting it back. And it’s not like you’re hanging out with friends or watching Netflix. You’re cleaning — something your parents would be proud of! This isn’t laziness or bad time management. This is procrastination.

If procrastination isn’t about laziness, then what is it about?

Etymologically, “procrastination” is derived from the Latin verb procrastinare — to put off until tomorrow. But it’s more than just voluntarily delaying. Procrastination is also derived from the ancient Greek word akrasia — doing something against our better judgment.

“It’s self-harm,” said Dr. Piers Steel, a professor of motivational psychology at the University of Calgary and the author of “The Procrastination Equation: How to Stop Putting Things Off and Start Getting Stuff Done.”

That self-awareness is a key part of why procrastinating makes us feel so rotten. When we procrastinate, we’re not only aware that we’re avoiding the task in question, but also that doing so is probably a bad idea. And yet, we do it anyway.

“This is why we say that procrastination is essentially irrational,” said Dr. Fuschia Sirois, professor of psychology at the University of Sheffield. “It doesn’t make sense to do something you know is going to have negative consequences.”

She added: “People engage in this irrational cycle of chronic procrastination because of an inability to manage negative moods around a task.”

Wait. We procrastinate because of bad moods?

In short: yes.

Procrastination isn’t a unique character flaw or a mysterious curse on your ability to manage time, but a way of coping with challenging emotions and negative moods induced by certain tasks — boredom, anxiety, insecurity, frustration, resentment, self-doubt and beyond.

“Procrastination is an emotion regulation problem, not a time management problem,” said Dr. Tim Pychyl, professor of psychology and member of the Procrastination Research Group at Carleton University in Ottawa.

In a 2013 study, Dr. Pychyl and Dr. Sirois found that procrastination can be understood as “the primacy of short-term mood repair … over the longer-term pursuit of intended actions.” Put simply, procrastination is about being more focused on “the immediate urgency of managing negative moods” than getting on with the task, Dr. Sirois said.

The particular nature of our aversion depends on the given task or situation. It may be due to something inherently unpleasant about the task itself — having to clean a dirty bathroom or organizing a long, boring spreadsheet for your boss. But it might also result from deeper feelings related to the task, such as self-doubt, low self-esteem, anxiety or insecurity. Staring at a blank document, you might be thinking, I’m not smart enough to write this. Even if I am, what will people think of it? Writing is so hard. What if I do a bad job?

All of this can lead us to think that putting the document aside and cleaning that spice drawer instead is a pretty good idea.

But, of course, this only compounds the negative associations we have with the task, and those feelings will still be there whenever we come back to it, along with increased stress and anxiety, feelings of low self-esteem and self-blame.

In fact, there’s an entire body of research dedicated to the ruminative, self-blaming thoughts many of us tend to have in the wake of procrastination, which are known as “procrastinatory cognitions.” The thoughts we have about procrastination typically exacerbate our distress and stress, which contribute to further procrastination, Dr. Sirois said.

But the momentary relief we feel when procrastinating is actually what makes the cycle especially vicious. In the immediate present, putting off a task provides relief — “you’ve been rewarded for procrastinating,” Dr. Sirois said. And we know from basic behaviorism that when we’re rewarded for something, we tend to do it again. This is precisely why procrastination tends not to be a one-off behavior, but a cycle, one that easily becomes a chronic habit.

Over time, chronic procrastination has not only productivity costs, but measurably destructive effects on our mental and physical health, including chronic stress, general psychological distress and low life satisfaction, symptoms of depression and anxiety, poor health behaviors, chronic illness and even hypertension and cardiovascular disease.

But I thought we procrastinate to feel better?

If it seems ironic that we procrastinate to avoid negative feelings, but end up feeling even worse, that’s because it is. And once again, we have evolution to thank.

Procrastination is a perfect example of present bias, our hard-wired tendency to prioritize short-term needs ahead of long-term ones.

“We really weren’t designed to think ahead into the further future because we needed to focus on providing for ourselves in the here and now,” said psychologist Dr. Hal Hershfield, a professor of marketing at the U.C.L.A. Anderson School of Management.

Dr. Hershfield’s research has shown that, on a neural level, we perceive our “future selves” more like strangers than as parts of ourselves. When we procrastinate, parts of our brains actually think that the tasks we’re putting off — and the accompanying negative feelings that await us on the other side — are somebody else’s problem.

To make things worse, we’re even less able to make thoughtful, future-oriented decisions in the midst of stress. When faced with a task that makes us feel anxious or insecure, the amygdala — the “threat detector” part of the brain — perceives that task as a genuine threat, in this case to our self-esteem or well-being. Even if we intellectually recognize that putting off the task will create more stress for ourselves in the future, our brains are still wired to be more concerned with removing the threat in the present. Researchers call this “amygdala hijack.”

Unfortunately, we can’t just tell ourselves to stop procrastinating. And despite the prevalence of “productivity hacks,” focusing on the question of how to get more work done doesn’t address the root cause of procrastination.

O.K. How do we get to the root cause of procrastination?

We must realize that, at its core, procrastination is about emotions, not productivity. The solution doesn’t involve downloading a time management app or learning new strategies for self-control. It has to do with managing our emotions in a new way.

“Our brains are always looking for relative rewards. If we have a habit loop around procrastination but we haven’t found a better reward, our brain is just going to keep doing it over and over until we give it something better to do,” said psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Judson Brewer, Director of Research and Innovation at Brown University’s Mindfulness Center.

To rewire any habit, we have to give our brains what Dr. Brewer called the “Bigger Better Offer” or “B.B.O.”

In the case of procrastination, we have to find a better reward than avoidance — one that can relieve our challenging feelings in the present moment without causing harm to our future selves. The difficulty with breaking the addiction to procrastination in particular is that there is an infinite number of potential substitute actions that would still be forms of procrastination, Dr. Brewer said. That’s why the solution must therefore be internal, and not dependent on anything but ourselves.

One option is to forgive yourself in the moments you procrastinate. In a 2010 study, researchers found that students who were able to forgive themselves for procrastinating when studying for a first exam ended up procrastinating less when studying for their next exam. They concluded that self-forgiveness supported productivity by allowing “the individual to move past their maladaptive behavior and focus on the upcoming examination without the burden of past acts.”

Another tactic is the related practice of self-compassion, which is treating ourselves with kindness and understanding in the face of our mistakes and failures. In a 2012 study examining the relationship between stress, self-compassion and procrastination, Dr. Sirois found that procrastinators tend to have high stress and low self-compassion, suggesting that self-compassion provides “a buffer against negative reactions to self-relevant events.”

In fact, several studies show that self-compassion supports motivation and personal growth. Not only does it decrease psychological distress, which we now know is a primary culprit for procrastination, it also actively boosts motivation, enhances feelings of self-worth and fosters positive emotions like optimism, wisdom, curiosity and personal initiative. Best of all, self-compassion doesn’t require anything external — just a commitment to meeting your challenges with greater acceptance and kindness rather than rumination and regret.

That may be easier said than done, but try to reframe the task by considering a positive aspect of it. Perhaps you remind yourself of a time you did something similar and it turned out O.K. Or maybe you think about the beneficial outcome of completing the task. What might your boss or partner say when you show them your finished work? How will you feel about yourself?

What are some other, healthier ways to manage the feelings that typically trigger procrastination?

Cultivate curiosity: If you’re feeling tempted to procrastinate, bring your attention to the sensations arising in your mind and body. What feelings are eliciting your temptation? Where do you feel them in your body? What do they remind you of? What happens to the thought of procrastinating as you observe it? Does it intensify? Dissipate? Cause other emotions to arise? How are the sensations in your body shifting as you continue to rest your awareness on them?

Consider the next action: This is different than the age-old advice to break up a task you’re tempted to avoid into bite-sized chunks. According to Dr. Pychyl, focusing only on the “next action” helps calm our nerves, and it allows for what Dr. Pychyl called “a layer of self-deception.” At the start of a given task, you can consider the next action as a mere possibility, as if you were method acting: “What’s the next action I’d take on this if I were going to do it, even though I’m not?” Maybe you would open your email. Or perhaps you would put the date at the top of your document. Don’t wait to be in the mood to do a certain task. “Motivation follows action. Get started, and you’ll find your motivation follows,” Dr. Pychyl said.

Make your temptations more inconvenient: It’s still easier to change our circumstances than ourselves, said Gretchen Rubin, author of “Better Than Before: What I Learned About Making and Breaking Habits.” According to Ms. Rubin, we can take what we know about procrastination and “use it to our advantage” by placing obstacles between ourselves and our temptations to induce a certain degree of frustration or anxiety. If you compulsively check social media, delete those apps from your phone or “give yourself a really complicated password with not just five digits, but 12,” Ms. Rubin said. By doing this, you’re adding friction to the procrastination cycle and making the reward value of your temptation less immediate.

On the other side of the coin, Ms. Rubin also suggested that we make the things we want to do as easy as possible for ourselves. If you want to go to the gym before work but you’re not a morning person, sleep in your exercise clothes. “Try to remove every, every, every roadblock,” Ms. Rubin said.

Still, procrastination is deeply existential, as it raises questions about individual agency and how we want to spend our time as opposed to how we actually do. But it’s also a reminder of our commonality — we’re all vulnerable to painful feelings, and most of us just want to be happy with the choices we make.

Now go finish up alphabetizing that spice drawer before it becomes your next procrastination albatross.

#Long post #This is important

180 notes · View notes

sheusedtobesassier · 4 years

Text

Day 10,330

Home alone for the first time in I think three weeks?? And by home I mean Allynda’s home. Lights off almost everywhere. Moon lamp, Scentsy dark crystal, candle, streetlight, three more candles, and the lowest lighting of the touch lamp. The Ballad of Love and Hate playing. Just got out of a hot hot bath during which I decided I feel capable of writing out the love story, well at minimum the beginning of it. I would call the start the best part, but I hesitate to say so. Intimacy was the best. Before that was just the delicious anticipation of that. Yeah so I realized I want to write about it tonight which was the smallest gasp of relief. I know there was a time when I couldn’t fathom remembering the sweetness. Begged for protection from those memories actually. And truthfully, I think that prayer was heard and answered. Sure they suddenly come for me sometimes, but they’re almost always quick and painless, like a shiver. Like a muscle memory. Phantom. Hm, hm.

“You’re still all over me like a wine stained dress I can’t wear anymore.”

We knew each other back when we were kids. To be specific, he was definitely a kid and I was in high school haha. (I believe he’s four years younger than me.) We were goof around pals that saw each other occasionally when our churches got together for Christianese functions. It wasn’t a close friendship, but me and my friends were very fond of him and his best friend. I left home in 2010 and probably interacted with him online once or twice throughout the next seven years of wandering on my own. I wasn’t keeping tabs.

November 2017. His best friend ended up falling head over heels in love with an old friend of mine. They had a sweet little “café con leche” wedding ceremony. There were a whole pile of people I knew at the reception and we filled up a long table. I noticed two friends seemed to be checking somebody out and when I curiously turned to follow their eyes, there was Omar. And uh, haha, he was definitely no longer a kid. Broad shoulders and the longest curls. I noted that he was nervously glancing around the room, probably looking for someone he knew. (I found out later it was an uncomfortable wedding for him.) Without a second thought, I stood up and excited rushed over to him. It was a short conversation, an exchange of pleasantries. What he’d been up to and what I’d been doing. He told me he was a vagabond and I told him I’d just been assigned the role of Staff Director at Sky Lodge. I mentioned that if he didn’t have anything going on in the summer he should come up and work. He said it’s something he had considered before and gave me a maybe. I don’t believe I saw him again the rest of the night.

Fast forward to the spring hiring season. For a few months, week after week, day after day, I was trying to round up summer staff, particularly a strong adult leadership team. I was interacting with maybe 100 college kids throughout this process with the goal of getting around 12 of them to commit to a full summer at camp. It is a grueling process. That spring specifically I felt like I was being forced to relentlessly coerce others to apply for a ministry they seemed to have Absolutely Zero Interest in. The applicants I did have were concerning to me as far as trustworthiness. I knew I wasn’t doing a great job and that knowing made it hard to do even a good job. Once May came around I had no fight left in me. And then I got weird messages from Omar. He had said early on that he wasn’t available, but whatever he had lined up fell through so he was wondering if there were still spots. I sent him the info and he said he’d apply that evening. A couple days later nothing had come through from him so I messaged him to see what was up. He had read the application and was no longer interested. I had a gut feeling and asked, “Is it because you don’t think you want to work for us or because you think you won’t get hired?” He told me it was a little of both and felt like parts of the application process were intrusive. Which, lol, he wasn’t wrong. I was thrilled. Asked if he’d be willing to fill it out and then have a longer discussion with me about his misgivings. He said he would. I remember calling my sister after I read what he submitted and giddy announcing, “HE’S A REAL LIFE PERSON.” He hadn’t given religious robot answers. He’d been forthright and controversial. He would bring something So Different than everybody else I was hiring AND THAT POSSIBILITY WAS DEEPLY INTRIGUING TO ME. I scheduled his interview, knowing I’d be deciding if we were going to hire him BUT ALSO he would be deciding if he wanted to come. I told him he should take a few days to really really think it through, talk it over with people he trusted, and genuinely pray about it. I started asking God to work it out if it was supposed to.

Okay. A little pause because I’m about to write about a part that I want to make sure comes off as how it actually was. First, I want to be clear that I was 0% attracted to this person at this stage. We were both grown, but he was still a kid to me. A long ago friend who I’d lost touch with. I was in boss mode, desperate to have admirable leaders I could count on for the summer (which was only a week away). Second, there was a specific season of my life where I considered myself very in tune with the Holy Spirit. I communicated with Her consistently and believed I heard from Her pretty often. That may sound kooky to you, but it doesn’t change what I believed then haha. This story I’m telling occurred like, five years after that Era of Very In Tune. Which I feel the need to say because like, interacting with the Holy Spirit still happens in my life, but rarely. I’m not seeking it out as frequently and hardly ever get anything straight from Her. Lol, if this weirds you out, no worries it weirds me out too. Okay so. With those said.

The morning before his phone interview, I was driving around a riding mower praying about the conversation we were going to have. I was concerned that he wasn’t going to choose us, worried about how I might screw up a good thing. I big time wanted to know that he’d be good for camp AND that camp would be good for him. Honestly I probably wanted the second one even more. I was stressing about it to God. And like. I wouldn’t write this except that it’s true. I out of the blue just experienced 100% reassurance that Omar would be at Sky Lodge for the summer. Right there, I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was was going to say yes. And like, I knew it was from the Holy Spirit. That familiar Her. Burst into tears because like I said, I wasn’t hearing from Her as much as I used to. So to suddenly experience that rush?? I wept happy tears. When I came in for lunch I told Jeremy we could start putting Omar’s name on all the official lists. He was like, “But you haven’t done the interview yet? And didn’t you say he might not even want to be here?” And I was like, “Look. I know he’s gonna say yes. I can’t explain how, but put him on the lists.” Then I went out in the sun and called him up. We talked through several complicated things. It was an articulate conversation between two people who respected each other. (It is very weird to think about how much I low key instantly trusted Omar.) And lol. The end of the conversation was me big smile saying, “So uh, everybody else is getting here on Thursday to get moved in and settled by 5 o’clock. So.” and then he was big smile basically like, “Okay. Yeah. Well. Huh. Yeah I’ll be there.”

And sure enough he was. Well kind of. He showed up late. Everybody else was going through the line for dinner when he called me to say he was here but not sure where to go. I ran out of the dining room and saw his black car pull in. Showed him to park down by Maple. Noticed the John Mayer poster rolled up in his back window so we chatted about our mutual fondness for him on the quick stroll to the Lodge. I remember as dinner was finishing up the Foremen were starting to gather. I was staying on the edge, interested to see the beginnings of all their dynamics. Noticed Omar keeping his distance, but not in an uncomfortable way? Like, he definitely wasn’t exuberant, but he wasn’t closed off either. He was wearing the DAYDREAMER hoodie. He couldn’t hold still? I decided I didn’t need to worry about him and hoped he would pick buddies soon.

Foreman Training. Okay. He was definitely the most interesting person in the room. I mean, besides me of course. He was laid back and whenever he spoke up it was good for everybody. He kept giving out nicknames. Playful. Oh lol, when we’d take breaks, he and Elicia had a game of pool going on which was great because it gave the other girls the chance to watch him flirt. He was noticeably special. I was glad I hired him, because he consistently brought the group’s average up. And we got along well. One night after training had wrapped up the two of us got into a chat about the Kardashians, which lead to Kanye, which lead to President Trump, which lead to talking about Omar being brown. On my walk to my home, I txted him apologizing for maybe expressing too much and not asking enough questions. He told me not to worry and thanked me for the conversation. THERE WERE NO BUTTERFLIES YET. This was my first shot at being a true blue leader and I wasn’t taking that lightly. Being good for everybody working for me was my obsession.

Foreman Campout. Okay. Several things happened here that I want to note.

1. We had a mega controversial meeting about cell phones, during which I suggested we make an official policy that Foremen would leave their phones up in my office unless they needed them for something. It was a kick I was on mostly. A very firm belief that the less the Foremen were on their phones the higher quality their summer would be. There was immediate pushback. I was fending off tiny arguments. Suddenly Omar gave this rallying speech of like, “Come on guys. What the heck? Why are we being babies about this? This could be a really good thing for us!” And that settled it. He had power.

2. The morning after it rained there was a little pack of us huddled up in the gazebo talking about what the storm had been like for us. I asked if anybody had a pen I could borrow and Omar ran to get me one from his backpack. I journaled something like, “Last night I tried to imagine somebody to fall asleep with and couldn’t think of anyone. It’s nice to not be even a little in love with anybody.” AND I MEANT THAT. THERE WERE NO VIBES YET.

3. We all went tubing together and slowly but surely got split up into tinier squads. I was with Marissa and Omar, which was the ideal scenario for me. A lot of stupidity and laughter. Goofballs. There was definitely a point where I was wondering if there was chemistry between them. They drifted further ahead than me towards the end and I thought, “Interesting. We’ll see how that unfolds.” Once everybody was back on land I heard a bit of, “Ooh did you see Omar and Marissa?” It wasn’t a match in my head, but I didn’t think that hard about it.

4. The drive back to Sky Lodge, haha. Omar and I were both on the first bench. Him in the middle and me next to the sliding door. Jeremy was driving and Chris was shotgun so the four of us were chatting away. We passed some fields getting irrigated and I made some offhand comment about the Farmers’ Almanac. Omar suddenly turned to me and was like, “What do you know about that?” I tried to defend myself and he was like, “This sounds like you’re just making stuff up.” WHICH. EXCUSE ME. I WAS NOT. I couldn’t believe it. Him just challenging me right to my face. I was surprised and super secretly thrilled. Do you want me to explain that? Like, I didn’t feel dismissed by it. It was like he wasn’t allowing me to sound stupid and get away with it. Like. More was expected of me? He wasn’t gonna let me be high and mighty as his boss. And that like. Lol. It bothered me, but in a good way.

5. Okay this one was his story that he told me later. Both of us were claiming that there wasn’t any attraction happening yet at the campout, but then he was like “Oh hold up.” He said that on that drive back, most of us in the van were slowly falling asleep. I dozed off and was sort of precariously placed, like there was potential my head might land on his shoulder or my knee would drift into his. He said I woke up a little, noted the situation, and arranged myself as far from him as I could. He said he thought, “Why is she being like that?” And then he thought, “Wait actually why is it bothering me that she’s being like that???” Lol.

6. We got back and dropped everybody off at the staff dorm with announcements for the next day. Edith, my right hand woman, had evening rounds so the two of us did a super quick debrief of the trip standing outside my front door. I mostly remember making the statement that we had to look out for Omar because a lot of the girls seemed interested in him. It meant in a few weeks either they would all turn on each other OR all turn on him. Edith laughed and was like, “Well soon him and Elicia are gonna make out. Then nobody else will want him.” We giggled and I was like, “I just don’t want everybody to decide he’s a flirt when he’s actually just comfortable around women.” And like, haha. I WRITE THIS AS PROOF THAT I DIDN’T SEE IT COMING.

Alright so. Lol. Mm, mm. I’m gonna let me hit a hard pause for the night because I’m losing steam. Will come back to this though and soon. It’s a time in my life where I do have the space to get it out and I think I’d like to. Idk if it’ll be healing or useful. I’m not worrying about damage and maybe I should? But. Look. I fell in love with a good one who fell in love with me too. And. I’m not choosing to take my hands off it yet. Still pulled in. Fixated. I keep being afraid that I’m coming off embarrassingly obsessed, panicked that I’m weak and messy. But. Lol. I actually don’t feel like those things at fucking all. I do feel like someone became part of my life and with him I grew in gorgeous ways that I kept wanting to grow in and then I lost that person and now I am having a hard time figuring out some other gorgeous ways I can grow now. And like. I cannot have more of Omar or more from him. Not right now I can’t. But that doesn’t change that I already have a lot of what he did give me. And it’s really mine and I’m not required to like, demolish it to smithereens in order to qualify for moving on.

#personal

2 notes · View notes

marshmallowprotection · 6 years

Note

Hey! Do you think you could do RFA + Saeran and V, reacting to an MC who showers/bathes in the dark to relieve stress after a long day. Personally I like to do this to relieve my anxiety. Thank you for your hard work 💕

Here we go!!!

Yoosung Kim

° He never considered that that was a thing that somebody could do to detox after a bad day. He's not one to talk, though, because he always goes straight to playing a game when he walks through the door to his apartment. Okay, that's an understatement because he's always finding an excuse to play games whenever something goes right or when something goes wrong. It's how he copes with his problems.

° Actually, he came back over to your place and found the bathroom dark but there were the sounds of low music which meant that you were in there but it was dark! Did you forget to pay the bill?

° No, you wouldn't do that.

° He tapped on the door and was startled when you responded. "What is it?"

° "Um. It's Yoosung. Why are you just chilling in the dark?"

° Yoosung, honey, don't try to figure it out. "It makes me feel good after a long day. You should give it a try sometime."

Hyun Ryu

° Zen doesn't really have a strange way of dealing with his issues. He just goes for a run, when something happens he just runs. He exercises and pushes himself with physical activity until the problem that was bothering him can be dealt with with a sudden idea or can be pushed aside for a while until his head is clear.

° Everybody has their own little method to getting by and he really isn't all that bothered by the way that you've chosen.

° Lights low, hot water, no outside worries. That's the way that you like it and how you're gonna keep it.

° The first time he finds out about it is a real doozy though. "Are you trying to sleep in the tub, jagiya?"

° "Yeah, Zen. I'm working on my backstroke while I catch a nap."

° Okay that's too much of a clapback for him, you would probably just tell him that "This is how I get rid of my stress, Zen, it's nice!"

° Might actually rope him into the idea the way that you make it sound. He's just quicker to suggest that the both of you share a moment together in the dark. That's a good way to relax together~

Jaehee Kang

° You know how Jaehee is. She has a lot of her own issues that she won't vocalize. She's got a ball of stress underneath her skin and the only way to quell that beast is to pop in a movie and drown her feelings in a bucket of popcorn. That's not a bad way to deal with her problems and she's found that it has really help her keep herself together after all of these years.

° She isn't about to knock you for what you've chosen. In fact, she thinks its good that you can find peace when you're alone and trying to detox all those bad thoughts from the day's stress. Sometimes people need to reach out to others to get their stimulation but you're very self reliant and put-together.

° She figured out what you do when she decides to come visit you at your apartment. She had a spare key and you've always insisted that she can come inside if you don't answer the door at first. So, she comes inside and finds you chilling in the dark, just staring at the ceiling.

° "...Are you alright, Y/N?"

° "Uhuh! I'm just relaxing."

° She would likely give it a try herself if she had a bad day and felt the urge to try something new.

Jumin Han

° Alcohol is pretty much what Jumin uses and while it's applied liberally when he has problems, it can be a bad habit for him. It's not exactly the most ideal coping mechanism for stress but its really all he's know for the majority of his adult life. He knows there's other things you can try, and he's no stranger to knitting and other hobbies but he's got a pretty strict set of things that he opts into.

° You just find the pleasure in your own company and take that time to reflect on peaceful thinking instead of what's gone on. He can respect that, its a kind of mindfulness that not a lot of people have the capacity to hold through.

° It is rather odd, however, when he finds Elizabeth the 3rd pawing at the door to get your company, even in the darkness. Sometimes you let the door stay ajar enough that the feline can come and go as she pleases, but there are times when you would rather she not.

° "Do you not worry about finding things in the dark?" He'll ask odd questions time from time.

° you only laugh. "I'm pretty adept at finding things in the dark, kind of like Elizabeth. I guess you can say we're pretty alike."

° It's an eccentricity of yours that he's fond of.

Saeyoung Choi

° Seven is guilty of doing all sorts of things when he's got some stress. He often winds up making toys and robots and programs and giving himself more work to do when he feels trapped. That's why you see the guy deal with all kinds of robots in the middle of his route because that's just what he does. I wish this boy would just take a nap when he's stressed but he doesn't understand that.

° He's pretty intrigued by this fact because you locked yourself into the bathroom after that spat in Rika's apartment and ran the water with the lights off. He wanted to chastise you for taking a shower when you could slip and fall but! Tsundere was trying to keep you safe and away from him, so he let it slide.

° Asks you about it later, though.

° "Why do you do that?"

° "I just like the way it feels. You can really lose all of your worries when its dark like that, and just shut everything out while you're in the bath."

° He's hesitant to believe that that method would work for anyone but an oddball like you. But rope him into it with you and he's likely to see the appeal.

Jihyun Kim

° Jihyun does not cope with his stress at all. It overwhelms him. There's not a lot that he does that really helps him, he just kind of grits his teeth and goes along with the flow. Hopefully whatever is bothering him will pass, otherwise he'll have to make a plan to deal with it soon. In his past that wouldn't have been a problem but it's a bit harder for him as of late because of the circumstance. So, he's open to trying new ventures to work himself out.

° You cut off all of your worries and go to a peaceful place in your head and he wishes that he could do the same when he feels overwhelmed.

° It seems so simple for you.

° Then again, when he looks at you it feels like everything you do is done with a careful thought for the sake of yourself and others. It's always a kind of good.

° "How do you do it?" He would ask.

° "I just... do it. It's hard to explain, I guess. You really don't have to do anything except for what you would assume. It just works!" You would say.

° It's odd but he might just take you up on it.

° After all, working on what has been bothering you can take time and all kinds of different methods. You have to be open and try to reach out, that's what you have taught him.

Saeran Choi

° Saeran tries to cope with his stress but he struggles. He has never really known that he can try different things or think his time is worth doing anything but feeling those stressful and anxious feelings. Sometimes he presses himself in just working more, or he'll try to work outside with the garden, or he'll bake way too much for the both of you. It just depends on the day of the week and what's bothering him.

° He's a ball of inner turmoil and you've known that since the moment you saw him.

° You've always shut out the world after a really hard day by doing what you do. Saeran struggles to get why that works for you because he isn't all that fond of being closed in a dark room alone. But, its what works for you so he doesn't judge.

° "You just. sit in the dark." he stares.

° You nod your head. "Yeah. That's pretty much what I do when its been rough. You should give it a try with me."

° After all, he's found you in this compromising situation a few times before and he's silently relieved he can't embarrass himself because he can't see your body in the dark.

° Oh... but.. he's more willing to try something if you want to be by his side the entire time. Sign him up for any minute of your company. That's really what allows him to relax after a really tough time.

💜 Mod Kait 💜

#sorry this took so long i'm drained #anon #ask #mod kait #mystic messenger #mysme #yoosung kim #jaehee kang #hyun ryu #jumin han #jihyun kim #saeyoung choi #saeran choi

149 notes · View notes

gamerwoo · 6 years

Text

Sehun: Guardian (Part 7)

Characters: Sehun x female reader

Genre/warnings: gang au, twin au, angst, fluff and a lil crack at the beginning, angsty fluff, implied smut at the beginning, violence, blood, knives

Word count: 3,939

Previous | Next | Masterlist

»»————-　　————-««

Saehyuk stared up at the ceiling, one arm behind his head while the other was around you, his thumb brushing against your bare shoulder. Your head was on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat as you started to let your eyes close. To both of you, this was probably your favorite part about having sex. Yeah, the actual sex was amazing, but the cuddling afterwards when both of your bodies were warm and pressed against each other and neither of you wanted to move away from each other was just perfect.

But, of course, that perfection was ruined by a loud crash, followed by a plain “ow” that came from the living room. Saehyuk sighed, not even panicking about the sound that would have anybody else thinking a very bad burglar was breaking in. Saehyuk knew exactly who it was.

“Stay here,” he told you in a bored tone as he sat up and crawled over you to get out of bed. “I’ll be right back.”

You sat up as Saehyuk pulled on sweatpants and a t-shirt, the blanket falling from your chest but you didn’t care -- it was just Saehyuk, “What was that?”

“Take a guess,” he sighed as he grabbed his glasses from the nightstand before he opened the door and left the room, making sure to close it again behind him.

Saehyuk padded down the hallway, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. As he flipped the switch for the living room light, he wasn’t surprised to see Sehun frozen in the middle of the living room, holding his right shin that he seemed to have bashed into the coffee table.

“...Hey, Hyukie,” Sehun said with a tiny wave.

Saehyuk ignored the greeting, crossing his arms over his chest, “You snuck out again?”

Sehun sighed, dropping his leg and standing up straight as he fixed his white t-shirt and black leather jacket, “Hyuk, I’m not a baby. I’m an adult, and I can do what I want.”

“I still wish you’d tell me when you were leaving again,” he told the younger twin. “I could’ve went to your room to check on you, and you wouldn’t be there. Do you know how worried I’d be?”

“I have a phone.”

“Which you only answer half the time.”

Saehyuk observed Sehun’s face, taking note of the new cuts and bruises. It wasn’t the worst he’d seen, which was good, but he still knew Sehun was out fighting again. While this was obviously a normal thing, Saehyuk knew this happened for one of two reasons: Sehun had gone out for other reasons but happened to get caught up in a fight somehow so he hadn’t actually planned to fight, or Sehun was upset about something and he went out with the intention to find trouble.

“Don’t you look pretty,” you commented as you appeared in the hallway behind Saehyuk, wearing only one of his flannels that barely brushed the top of your thighs -- but it was just Saehyuk and Sehun. “What happened?”

“Yah, _____,” Saehyuk frowned, turning to hold an arm out to you, “I told you to stay in the bedroom.”

You shrugged, “Got bored. Sehun, did you break anything coming in?”

“Possibly my shin,” he nodded.

You laughed in the form of an exhale through your nose, “Nice one.”

“Stop encouraging him,” Saehyuk whined, pulling you to his chest and holding your head so your face was cradled in the crook of his neck, therefore, you couldn’t speak.

You just giggled at him, your breath tickling his skin.

He squirmed, “Don’t do that, either! Listen, Sehun; you can do what you want, yeah, just-- Just tell me when you leave, alright? You don’t even have to tell me what you’re doing, just tell me you’re leaving.”

Sehun sighed softly but nodded, “Alright. I’m sorry, Saehyuk.”

“Thank you,” Saehyuk offered him a small smile as a peace treaty before he finally released you. “Say sorry to _____, too. She was about to fall asleep, and now I have to find a way to make her sleepy again.”

Now that he was done being scolded, Sehun started walking toward the hallway that you and your boyfriend were standing in front of. As Sehun passed by, he smirked, placing a hand on his brother’s shoulder and saying, “I think you know exactly how to do that.”

As Sehun continued down the hall, you snorted while Saehyuk let out a groan.

“Come on, you’re ruining that for me!” he complained.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m here for!” Sehun called back.

Sehun had left without telling you. He had snuck out, unable to handle the same feeling you felt any longer. He tried to resist the urges to leave, but he couldn’t take it anymore. He just didn’t want to bother you, so he took matters into his own hands, going out to cope how he usually did: fighting. That was why he didn’t answer your call. He was in the alley behind a bar, throwing punches and kicks at some stranger who he picked a fight with for no reason other than to get his negative emotions out.

You didn’t know that, though. You couldn’t find Sehun, and you thought it was because something bad happened to him. So what could you do other than panic and let your thoughts and emotions get the best of you? Just like any other night.

But you didn’t do that. You didn’t let the fear consume you, washing it away with alcohol. You immediately called up Chanyeol before going to find clothes to wear.

“You know it’s 1am, right?” Chanyeol asked, his voice groggy and low.

“Sehun’s missing,” you told him, your voice shaking even though you tried to sound fine. “I need to know where he could be.”

“Fuck-- I have no idea,” Chanyeol said, sounding more awake and considerably more stressed. “Want me to help look?”

“Yeah, please,” you replied. “Call the others, too. I’m gonna take his spare bike and go look for him.”

“Are you good to drive? Yixing said--”

“I’m fine,” you promised, though there was a slight snap to your tone. You tugged on your leggings before grabbing the first shirt you could find -- it was one of Saehyuk’s, and it was black with long sleeves. “Call me if you find him.”

“You too,” he replied before you both hung up.

You went to the front door, put on your boots, and then grabbed the keys to the spare motorcycle in the tiny shed. Then you grabbed your helmet and bolted out the door.

Sehun coughed up a bit of blood as he took another knee to his stomach. He was doubled over while the three guys around him shouted various threats, profanities, and names at him. He thought he could take these three guys, but they were apparently from a gang out of town so they knew what they were doing.

He had been winning for a while when it was just one of the guys. The man seemed to be alone as he sat at the bar when Sehun picked a fight with him. After they went outside to the alley, Sehun wasn’t holding anything back. He thought he was going to completely knock the guy out, but then two more men showed up out of nowhere and started beating on Sehun. After that, getting in even a single hit was hard, and now he just didn’t have the energy. It was all beaten out of him.

“Somebody ought to keep you outta trouble, huh?” one of the men teased as he yanked Sehun’s head up by his hair.

Sehun was on his knees in the gravel, looking up at the guy as he continued to pull on his dark hair, making him wince. This time, he didn’t have any witty comebacks, any tricks up his sleeve, or any energy to fuel his anger to fight harder. All he could think was that he hoped that by some higher power, you might realize he was gone, and--

You. It finally hit him how badly he fucked up. You and him had already lost one person to fighting, and now he’d snuck out and was stuck in the same situation. He wasn’t on the brink of death, but he was definitely going to get his ass handed to him before he had to somehow drive himself home on his bike. And if you did realize he was gone, you were going to panic because he was missing. He felt like an asshole. He wished he at least told you he left. Hell, he wish he hadn’t left at all.

He heard footsteps on gravel, one of the men turning to see who it was. Sehun saw them get yanked forward, his body disappearing behind the man holding him by the hair. Sehun heard a sickening crunch. The man let out a choked shout, and then he was on his back on the ground.

The other two men turned around, the one holding onto Sehun finally releasing him. Sehun looked up, seeing you between the bodies of the two men still standing. He let out a breath of relief, thinking you looked like some kind of dark angel standing in front of the light of the street lamps and the neon sign outside the bar behind you.

“I suggest you leave,” you told the men, no emotion in your voice or on your face.

The other man scoffed, “You’re just a girl, what’re you--”

You swung your leg up, kicking the man in the side and into the brick building beside him. You reached out for the man directly in front of Sehun, gripping his shirt with one hand before you punched him in his left cheek with your other. You saw him pull his fist back to do the same to you, but you dodged his arm and grabbed it as you spun around to face away from him, yanking on his limb and flipping him over your back and onto the ground behind you next to the first man. The man still standing pushed himself away from the wall and ran at you, so you kicked your leg up and kept your foot flat, the sole of your boot hitting him square in the gut. Then you backhanded him before shoving him aside on top of the second man where he fell with a grunt, causing the second man to groan uncomfortably.

The one whose nose you had broken refused to get up since he was already in bad shape before you had shown up. But the second man shoved the third one off of him and got back to his feet, prepared to keep fighting.

You, however, weren’t taking any precautions this time. You grabbed the pocket knife you found in the shed that you’d stuffed into your boot, flicking the knife out as you pointed it at the man, your eyes narrowed menacingly.

“I would stay down if I were you,” you advised in a growl.

His eyes widened, taking a step back before he glared again, clenching his jaw.

“Coward,” he spat.

You shrugged, unfazed by the insult. You just wanted to get Sehun and go back to the house.

So the man yanked up his friend that didn’t look like he had been pummeled into the next year before they both gathered the first guy off the ground, and they stumbled out of the alley together. You turned back to look at Sehun, keeping up the tough act out of pure anger. Now that you knew Sehun was okay, you were pissed off that he ran off just to get into a fight with strangers.

You grabbed his arm and helped him to his feet, slinging that arm around your shoulders as you held his waist and helped him to the sidewalk so you could call Chanyeol. Neither of you said anything as you walked, but he let out a soft sigh as you sat him down on the edge of the sidewalk.

“_____, I’m--”

“Save it,” you snapped, taking your phone out and calling Chanyeol. He answered on the second ring. “Hey, do you remember that bar where Baek got threatened with a broken bottle?”

“How could I forget?” Chanyeol snorted. “Wait, why? Is Sehun there?”

“Yeah, I need you to come get the keys to his bike and bring it back to your place for the night.”

“What?” Sehun demanded. “That’s my bike, you can’t--!”

You put your palm over his whole face -- or at least whatever your hand could cover -- to keep him quiet as you kept talking, “We’ll come pick it up tomorrow, but I figured you’re probably exhausted.”

“Alright, I’ll let everyone know he’s found,” Chanyeol said. “Baek and I will come get the bike. I’ll see you in a little bit.”

You hung up the phone before you took your hand off of Sehun’s face, revealing a glare.

“You can’t just take my bike, _____,” he stated.

“You can’t just disappear in the middle of the night to get yourself beaten to death, but look where we are,” you shot back, gesturing with your arms open to the almost empty street you were on.

“_____, I’m sorry, okay?” he frowned, looking genuinely guilty for making you upset and worried. “I didn’t realize what I did was dumb until I was already on the ground.”

“Really? It took you that long to realize?” you asked with a bite to your tone. “You didn’t think about that before you even had the idea to leave? You didn’t think that, ‘oh, my brother died from fighting and _____ had to watch it happen, but no, let me just leave the house and go do exactly what killed him!’”

You weren’t even aware you were crying but Sehun saw everything. He saw the moment your eyes filled with tears, when they started to spill, and he saw the way your hands were shaking as you used them to talk. He didn’t anger you, he scared you.

“_____--” his voice was quiet, so you didn’t even hear him as blood pounded in your ears as the panic started to come back now that the anger and adrenaline faded away.

“I thought I lost you, too!” you burst, staring down at him as tears flowed down your face and dripped off your chin, onto the sidewalk. “I thought Kris got you, and I wouldn’t be able to find you, and--”

“Shh, it’s okay,” Sehun frowned, reaching up to grab your hand. He pulled you down to him, your knees softly hitting the sidewalk before Sehun pulled you into his side. “I’m okay, see? You found me, and I’m safe. Stop worrying, you’re going to make yourself hyperventilate.”

“How can I not worry when this is what you’ve been doing!” you sobbed, pulling your sleeve down to wipe off the blood at the corners of his lips. “What if you leave again but you don’t come back home? What if--”

“Hey, don’t work yourself up,” he told you softly, smoothing your hair back. “We’ll talk about it more at the house, alright? Just calm down for now; breathe.”

You fell silent, nodding as you sniffled and wiped your eyes with your other sleeve. You knew Chanyeol and Baekhyun would be showing up soon anyway, and you didn’t want them seeing you like this.

“I do owe you a thank you, though,” Sehun said with a small smile, still keeping an arm around you as you tried to pull yourself together. “If you hadn’t shown up, I would’ve ended up going back to the house looking a lot worse.”

“Thank Saehyuk for leaving his pocket knife in the shed,” you told him with a little bit of lightheartedness to your tone as you took out the knife you’d closed back up. “Otherwise, we’d both probably be going home looking like that one guy. You fucked him up pretty bad, huh?”

“Yeah, but you broke something,” he chuckled, nudging you with his shoulder and making you smile -- you always did like being praised.

Still, you shrugged like it was nothing, “Just his nose. Honestly, I was close to snapping his neck.”

“Why?”

“I thought they were going to kill you. You were on your knees, and you look awful. You were coughing up blood when I drove by and found you, so I was really nervous... Seeing it just... It set off a lot of alarms.”

“I am fine, _____,” he promised, noticing that you’d turned serious. “See, I’m not even coughing any up anymore. I can breathe just fine, too. I’m just sore, is all.”

You looked up at Sehun’s face, your eyes scanning every bump, bruise, cut, and scrape. You realized that, yeah, he could’ve ended up a lot worse. But you got to him when you did, and he was here. The thought of losing him next scared you more than anything, but he wasn’t going anywhere.

Without a word, your arms wrapped around his waist, and you rested your head against his shoulder. His body stiffened in surprise, but he let out a warm chuckle as he hugged you back, his head resting on top of yours.

“What’s this for?” he asked.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” you mumbled, still not used to saying sappy things to Sehun out loud despite everything that had been happening with the two of you.

“Yeah, well,” he shrugged, “it’s all thanks to you.”

And he meant that in more ways than one.

You hung the keys by the door before kicking off your shoes. Sehun helped you put the spare bike back in the shed, but you kept the pocket knife with you just in case. But the conversation you started outside the bar before Chanyeol and Baekhyun showed up was still long from over.

“So, why’d you leave?” you asked as the two of you made your way further into the house, entering the living room.

“Honestly?” Sehun asked, and you looked over your shoulder to nod at him. He let out a sigh and shrugged. “The last five nights have been awful. I know you’re here with me, but I just...feel alone. I can’t sleep, I can’t get myself to feel at home here -- it’s all too much. Fighting’s always been how I get my feelings out, and I didn’t want to bother you.”

You stopped as you were about to go to the kitchen, turning to face Sehun with furrowed brows, “Why do you think you bother me?”

“You always liked to be alone.”

You scoffed, “Yeah, two years ago. After that, there wasn’t a moment I wasn’t wanting to spend my time with Saehyuk. I can’t stand being alone anymore.”

“Is that the reason you’re becoming an alcoholic, or is that just a new hobby of yours?” Sehun asked, eyebrow raised as he crossed his arms over his chest.

Your mouth snapped shut, realizing that Sehun was getting on your case for your bad coping mechanism now. You frowned like a child getting punished.

“That’s... It’s different than fighting,” you stated.

“Different how?” he asked, cocking his head to the side as he gave you a quizzical look. “It could easily kill you, so it seems just as dangerous to me.”

Your face turned red as you glared at him, “I’m fine!”

“_____, I’m not trying to pick a fight with you,” he sighed, both hands running through his dark hair as he walked over to you. “But the way you felt seeing me tonight is how I felt seeing you at Yixing’s. I’d never seen you like that, and it hit me that you’re like that every night -- and don’t tell me you’ve been sober the last five nights because I know you’ve been getting into the whiskey.”

Your mouth that had opened for that exact rebuttal, shut again.

When Sehun spoke again, his voice was soft, “I’ll make you a deal, okay? I’ll stop fighting all the time if you stop drinking. Instead of doing that stuff, we have to promise to go to each other when we feel like doing that.”

You chewed on your cheek as you thought it over, studying the look in Sehun’s eyes closely, “You promise?”

Sehun held out his pinkie to you with a single nod, “I promise.”

His eyes showed sincerity.

You nodded and linked your pinkie with his. He smiled down at you warmly before he pulled you in for a hug. It took you by surprise, but you lightly wrapped your arms around him, too.

“Can I ask a favor?” he asked.

“Sure.”

“Can you help me put bandages on?”

You laughed quietly, pulling away to look up at his busted face, “Yeah. You look really bad.”

“I feel really bad,” he nodded with a grin. “I should probably take a shower first. Everything’s sore.”

“You should stay home for a few days, too.”

“What about my bike?”

“You don’t need it.”

Sehun frowned, “Yes I do.”

You rolled your eyes playfully, “Are you married to that thing?”

“Yeah,” he nodded with a cheeky grin before he walked down the hall toward the bathroom. “And the bike is a she, not a thing.”

Sehun exited the bathroom, now wearing only a pair of sweatpants with some boxers underneath. He padded down the hall to the kitchen to get some water, but he paused after he had downed the glass because he noticed something out a place. There was a can of beer left on the counter, still sweating since it was taken out of the fridge, He picked up the can, saw it was unopened, and put it back in the fridge. Then, he went to the living room to see if you were there.

“_____?” he called out softly when you weren’t there, and the TV and lights were all off.

He went by Saehyuk’s room, only wanting to look in there if he absolutely had to. Instead, he went straight to his room where the door was cracked, and his desk lamp was dimly lighting the room. Through the crack in the door, he could see his bed where there was a lump under his blanket.

He slowly pushed the door open, seeing you laying on the inside of the bed by the wall. You were wearing a sweatshirt with the hood pulled up, and you were curled up under the blanket as you hugged it to yourself, clearly fast asleep.

Sehun smiled softly to himself as he closed his door silently before he went to shut off the desk lamp. Then he climbed into bed beside you, moving carefully as to not wake you. He noticed you shift a little bit after he got under the covers, but you only moved closer to him in your sleep, your forehead now touching his shoulder. Truthfully, he was happy to have found you in his bed because he had only slept well those two times you were with him.

But he was also happy because you kept your promise, and he was proud of you for that. He knew that the two of you would get better, even if it was a slow process. Together, you two could overcome this heartache, he was sure of it.

As Sehun closed his eyes, he figured the bandages could wait until tomorrow. The bleeding had stopped anyway, and it wasn’t worth waking you up from your slumber. He’d rather let you sleep -- you needed it.

64 notes · View notes

nth-generation-kpop · 6 years

Text

When You Love Someone

Word Count: ~1900 Pairing: Changlix Requested by: @beeaaniee Summary: Soft movie date (any pairing)

Changbin knocked on the beat-to-hell metal door of Felix’s dorm, considering how much the building resembled a prison as he waited. The strongest visual of course was the chipping paint that looked like it came directly out of Orange is the New Black; but close runners up included the excessive amount of keys or access cards needed to get anywhere (bathrooms, elevators, stairways, study rooms) and the unnecessarily extensive sign in sheets visitors were required to fill out before the very clearly annoyed RA on duty would let you out of the lobby.

Still, it was fun to look at some of the things other people wrote in the “Reason for Visiting” section-- booty call, alien invasion, breaking up with my girlfriend. Tonight Changbin had written “movie date, if you must know,” his laptop squeezed in his backpack next to a box of M&Ms, a bag of microwave popcorn, and a change of clothes. Any other movie night he would have gone home after, but Felix’s roommate Jisung was out of town for the weekend. Changbin liked Jisung but in a dorm the size of a broom closet he always felt like he was running into somebody or just generally in the way. Once in a while Felix would want him to stay over, but he usually convinced his boyfriend to come home with him instead.

“MY TURN TO PICK SUCKER.” Changbin grimaced dramatically as the door opened, unable to keep a smile off his face.

“Please tell me we’re not watching--”

“The Proposal again? You bet we are! We haven’t watched it in months,” Felix said, grinning. Changbin leaned in for a quick kiss before stepping aside so Felix could close the door.

“Babe, we watched it last month, remember? The week after, you and Jisung did the dance at the semester kickoff student mixer and almost got us kicked out.”

Felix giggled to himself. “Hmm nope I don’t recall that, but if it had happened I’m sure it would have been hilarious. And very sexy.”

Changbin just rolled his eyes, opening his backpack and throwing the unpopped popcorn at Felix.

He caught it easily, frowning at the plastic as he tried to tear it open. “Are you staying over?”

Changbin realized he hadn’t been invited, he just assumed he’d be spending the night. “Is that okay?”

“Of course! I figured you would. How was your show last night? A Thirsty Thursday success?”

“Yeah, it was good. It’s still early in the semester so people aren’t spending their whole weekends cramming for exams. Pretty good turnout.”

That may have been… a bit of an understatement. SPEARB’s nights at the club were ranked second most popular all summer and while Changbin expected it to be a fluke, for his popularity to drop off when students flooded back to campus, that wasn’t the case. 5 weeks later he was still solidly in second place. Nearly all the others in the top 10 ranking the club manager kept backstage were actual DJ’s and producers, and he was the only underclassman. He was still half convinced it was dumb luck and people weren’t actually coming to see him-- he’d tell Felix eventually.

“That’s great! Can I come to your next show?”

“I can sneak you in backstage but you’re too young, they won’t let you in.” Felix pouted. “They let you in and you’re not 21.”

“I’m the exception.” The microwave beeped and Changbin pulled his laptop out while Felix searched for a bowl. “You better keep your gross Junior Mints on your side of the popcorn this time.”

“Excuse you? Junior mints are the peak popcorn snack” Felix argued.

“M&Ms are the peak popcorn snack, Junior mints get melted chocolate all over everything, it’s gross,”

“The M&Ms melt too!”

“Yeah, but the coating keeps the chocolate inside, not all over your popcorn.” Changbin winked at Felix. They had some form of this argument every time and Felix still hadn’t come up with a rebuttal to that point.

Felix glared, climbing onto his bed next to Changbin. “Let’s agree to disagree.”

Changbin hummed, leaning over to kiss Felix’s cheek. “Let’s.”

Having seen this movie a seemingly infinite number of times, Changbin opted to let his mind wander while munching on popcorn. It was a good movie, Felix’s favorite by far, but while his boyfriend never got tired of it he couldn’t quite say the same. Still, Changbin chose to indulge him because it made him happy. Lounging against Changbin’s side, Felix’s legs stretched out to the left so he was angled comfortably with his head on Changbin’s shoulder. All Changbin had to do was lean slightly to the left to kiss the top of his head. One of his arms was wrapped loosely around Felix’s waist, hand splayed open on his stomach. The bowl of popcorn sat in Felix’s lap, the right side peppered with M&Ms so Changbin could reach them. As much as they joked about the ‘my half of the bowl/your half of the bowl’ thing, they occasionally stole each others’ candy.

Sometime after the characters got off the plane in Alaska, Changbin was officially spaced out. He watched Felix instead of the movie for a while, the way his eyes lit up at his favorite parts and his cheeks bunched up when he smiled. He counted the freckles sprinkled across the bridge of Felix’s nose-- as cheesy as it sounds, he did it often. He moved his left hand to thread his fingers together with Felix’s, rubbing his thumb over the side of Felix’s palm. And he thought about how incredibly lucky he was to have this boy, this absolute dork who danced to Get Low with his roommate in the middle of a crowded room, who was a professional at wiggling his eyebrows suggestively, who had such a bright personality in contrast to his reserved one.

They met a semester ago, during Felix’s first ever week of classes at the University. They actually met through Jisung, though the boy could hardly claim matchmaker rights as he was entirely oblivious to them liking each other. Changbin invited Jisung to a party with Chan and the others, and Jisung brought Felix along to meet people. In no time, Woojin was mentioning that he and Felix had gotten close really fast-- he claimed to know the moment he saw them together that they were good for each other. It’s like you were in love at first sight. Changbin wasn’t so sure at first. Felix was just so bright and kind-- Changbin didn’t often attract bright and kind. His shyness and stoic personality made him seem a lot more severe than he was in reality. It wasn’t until someone pointed out that he smiled a lot more around Felix that he thought maybe it could work out, maybe Felix made him bright too.

Felix on the other hand was so terrible at flirting that he eventually just gave up with the pretenses. Seemingly overnight he went from being reserved and a little nervous around Changbin to being incredibly... hands on. Felix would light up when Changbin came into the room, pull him in for a hug, purposefully sit next to him in order to spend the whole time with an arm around his shoulder or a hand on his leg. It was a type of attention and affection given so freely that Changbin didn’t know what to do with it besides reciprocate as best he could.

Then one night he was walking back from the library when he spotted a familiar-looking bright orange duffle bag next to a familiar-looking figure on bench outside the dance building. On the off chance that it was his friend, he crossed the street. He found Felix doubled over, head in his hands, and it wasn’t until he was close enough for Felix to look up that he saw the street light reflect off Felix’s wet cheeks-- he was crying. Changbin sat on the bench next to him and, at a loss for how to comfort the boy, simply pulled him close and let him sob. He ran his fingers through Felix’s hair as the boy’s shoulders shook, rubbing his back until he felt Felix’s grip on his own shirt loosen and his breathing even out.

It’s so hard, Felix said. I’m not good enough, I’m so far behind everybody else. Everything went wrong today, just everything. Fine arts programs were competitive at this university, Changbin knew that stress first hand. The professors took a sink or swim mentality to them-- students were thrown into high level classes upon admission, they were given the same assignments regardless of year and expected to practice tirelessly. He recalled his first semester, when mean comments from upperclassmen and stiff criticism on his projects had him feeling so low that he didn’t know what to do. Chan pulled him out of that hole, gave him this same talk-- well, a similar one. Now, he fed Felix some gentle encouragement and walked him home. At the door, Changbin pulled him into another hug and spoke softly into his ear-- You’re so much stronger than you think you are, you’re so much more talented than you can see. I believe in you. This semester is a test, if you get through it you pass, and I know you can do it. I’m here for you. Something in his chest felt tight, almost painful as Felix walked into his building and disappeared around a corner. He wanted to take the pain away, he wanted life to be fair for Felix-- if anybody deserved better it was that sweet, bright boy. That feeling continued each time Felix texted him for encouragement or support, and Changbin hoped desperately that he was helping to make things better, even just a little.

Soon after, Felix received his first positive feedback on an evaluation. He’d been working even harder, putting in longer hours, and cultivating confidence in himself through sheer willpower. Changbin was waiting for him outside after his evaluation and Felix ran directly into his arms. As far as first kisses go, theirs was pretty good.

When he noticed the bowl was empty Changbin set it aside and Felix shifted closer, pulling Changbin’s arms tighter around him and letting his head loll to the side. Changbin smiled, kissing his temple-- yes, he loved this boy.

It wasn’t until Changbin was halfway through planning out a set for his next time performing at the club that Felix finally noticed how disinterested in the movie he was.

“On a scale from one to ten, how bored are you?” Changbin smiled sheepishly.

“I’m with you, I’m not bored.” Felix rolled his eyes and Changbin smirked.

“We can watch something else? The Conjuring?”

“Baby, you hate horror movies,” Changbin said, squeezing Felix’s hand.

“Mmm, I don’t mind watching them with you, plus they’re your favorite.”

Changbin hummed. “Let’s finish this, my favorite part is coming up. Then we can watch something else.”

“Right, the breakfast in bed scene.” Felix tilted his head back to look up at Changbin, grinning.

“Shut up, it’s cute.”

“You’re cute.”

#stray kids #stray kids au #short fic #so this is a peripheral story that's an offshoot of the main theme #and... i havent written in forever so like forgive me if its shit #yeah uh hope you enjoy #and I hope it was what you had in mind @beeaaniee #mine

24 notes · View notes

silhouetted-beauty · 6 years

Text

My BTS Concert Experiences!!🎇🎆

Hello fellow readers! I just wanted to shared my concert experiences as well as my favorite highlights of the night. I ended up going to both Chicago concerts (Oct. 02/03) and let me just say... IT WAS LIT!!! The boys really put on a show and all their hard work definitely was shown. FYI: This post will be LONG so I will install a ‘keep reading’ tab.

But anyways, let me start off saying how I was a nervous wreck knowing I was going both days because I didn’t know what to expect. This was my first BTS concert and I’ve been dying (not literally lol) to see them since 2015. I pretty much followed other people’s experiences from earlier tour dates and went off that and honestly, it didn’t help. It ended up kicking my anxiety into overdrive because lot of people were talking about post concert depression lol. In my mind, I was thinking, “holy shit! If they are THAT good live, would I even be able to walk out of the arena with a sane mind?!” To put it short, I was spooked. Even as I type this out, my hands are shaking lol. Oh! and excuse my crappy video footage, I was kinda zoned out watching them, people were knocking into me, and I was low key dancing lol

October 2nd...

-The Merchandise-

Thanks to my bf (you know who you are HOE!!!😂😂), she had bought us both tickets for this day as a birthday present to me. Since she bought tickets, I felt the least I could do was buy us merch. So I arrived that morning at the venue only to find the line for merchandise wrapped around two corners. So I began the dreadful task of waiting in line. Thankfully, I met two other girls who I quickly connected with and made the process, somehow, quicker. The line moved faster then I thought but as we gotten closer, we noticed items were selling out due to people buying bags of shit! The ‘Love Yourself’ shirts, both white and black, were the first to sell out. I was in shock because that was the shirt I was getting us so I had to call her up and decide on either another shirt or another item. Thankfully, none of the other merch I wanted sold out so I was able to purchase what we wanted without any problems. So in total, I was in line at 9:40 and didn’t leave until 12:50. My advice to anyone trying to get merch for a concert... order online! I believe it’s more convenient, especially if you may not have the time to wait in line. Preordering or ordering ahead of time is definitely less stressful.

-The Concert-

After I left merch met up with my best friend and we went back to my place to get ready. Lol I’m gonna be honest and say that even though I was going to see BTS, the main highlight of the day was my blue hair. I had recently dyed it and was ready to show it off. Thanks to her, I ended up wearing a pink dress, my black leather jacket, and black Killstar ‘vendetta’ boots, which I bought specifically for the concert for the next day. We kept cracking jokes because it looked like I was dressed to “kick somebody’s ass” (her words not mines😂😂).

So we get to the arena, paid for parking, then waited in line, which was pretty short. Our seats were in section 103 and we had the perfect view of the stage and audience. While we waited in our seats, my best friend turns to me and suggests we get some drinks lol (Note: I’m starting to believe that is the norm when we go to concerts). Hell! I was down for drinking but then I remembered how I didn’t eat all day so I was worried about getting drunk especially since we were drinking Bacardi rum. It wasn’t that I intentionally didn’t eat, I was just too hyped to do so. BONUS!! We both thought I’d be the one to cry since I’m the bigger fan than she is but guess what? Yo gurl held strong!😆 In fact, SHE was the one who cried and I’m never letting her forget it. Lmao! Anyways we were drinking, cracking jokes, sitting back and looking pretty while waiting on the show to start. And when it did... when it did... it was a fucking PARTY!!!!

We stood the entire time, and I basically sang/screamed my heart out. Made sure to capture her on video while ‘Singularity’ played because that is her shit lol (Great job, Tae!😘). They performed Setlist A (I believe) which was LIT. We danced to every song. I REALLY loved the vcr footages as they changed for the next song. It was really unique and some were playful, sexy, and bold. But as the concert came to an end, each member said a solo goodbye. All of them were nice especially considering how they tried to speak English to the best of their ability. What they couldn’t say, they spoke in Korean and the translator did a great job relaying the message. The speech I remembered the most was Yoongi’s because I low key feel like he tried to go in on us. Like tried to straight clown us lol. Here’s what I mean...

Yoongi: “I have one question.”

Us: *screams* “yes” or “what”

Yoongi: “this is Chicago. The Windy City, right?”

At this point, I’m thinking what is he getting at?

Us: “Yes.”

Yoongi: “Then why is it so hot?”

...

My reaction:

Anyways, It was so beautiful! Seeing all of the lights from the lightsticks and seeing people bond together; no wonder the boys get all teary eyed at each concert. It really is a beautiful sight. Later on, we left the arena at around 11:00, kinda danced to the street drummers before headed back to the car. As we drove away, I felt this overwhelming sense of calming sadness. You know, when you go out and have fun, literally the time of your life, you don’t want that feeling to end but you know it has to. It felt weird and we ended up having like this deep conversation, it was mostly me rambling lol.

October 3rd...

-Earlier in the day-

I woke up, quickly showered and got dressed because I knew I was going to be at the arena all day because I had GA standing...

Quick note, I did give my Uber driver a lesson on BTS and his reactions were priceless especially when I informed him of all their hard work and achievements. It was full of “shit!”’s And “aw damn!”’s Because he couldn’t believe it lol. The more I thought about it, the more I smiled to myself. I felt proud for stanning such an amazing group.😭😭

Anyways, I made it back up to the arena at around 9:40 and this time I had to stand in the GA line, which also wrapped around two corners. Fucking A!!!! It didn’t seem like it was that many people and I guess my number would be between 500-700 but I was hella wrong because I was number 1,019 in line by the time I got my wristband. Lmao! FUCK!

I was supposed to meet up with people I had met the previous day but didn’t and it was all good because I met people not only in line but also once I gotten my wristband. Shoutout to y’all! ✌🏾✌🏾

Crazy enough, there was someone in line who gave away two extra GA tickets for free! I should have taken it and gave it away to one of the girls I met who didn’t have a ticket. (My first regret of the day).

While waiting until lineup time, which was at 4, I hung out with two other girls who were really sweet and kind, SUPER funny, and multi fandom. They shared concert experiences and are even planning on traveling to New York for their final U.S tour date. If one of you see this post, HAVE FUN, GURLS! I HOPED Y’ALL TURNED THE FUCK UP!!! ✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾✌🏾

The weather was beautiful. It was around 86/87 and the WIND WAS BLOWING! WHERE THE FUCK WHERE YOU, MIN YOONGI?! WAS IT STILL HOT THEN?! (Actually it was but at least we had a breeze, which technically was blowing everyone and everything away lmao.)

We even spotted video crew, interviewing fans about an upcoming “documentary”. 😏🤫 I have my own theory as to what this footage is going to be used for and I’m gonna wait until it drops to prove it. Word on the street, they were asking the arena staff members for more people to interview.😁

I met a lot of people and it brought me so much joy hearing how excited they were especially if it was their first time seeing them. I ended up waiting inside the arena while charging a friend’s phone and we heard BTS rehearsing! We assumed it was soundcheck but it wasn’t because the soundcheck line was still outside so that was a bonus. We even kept spotting BTS crew members walking in and out of the area where they were singing😫.

-The Concert-

When the time came, I had to get back in line in the order of the wristband to enter inside the arena. Idk if this applies at future concerts but if you get a large number, don’t assume you will get in line to enter the arena early. Security was strict to tell people to either get in their numerical spots or go to the end of the line. I was told this was because of the Wings Concert lineup was a mess last year so they’re trying to be fair and restore order. We lined up at about 4/4:30 but the doors didn’t open until 5:30 (at least for us, i think). We all tried to keep ourselves busy while we waited and everyone at least got some free shit in the process. Someone handed me Hoseok photo cards of him and his hands.😁

I had my boots in hand because I wasn’t gonna put those bad boys on and have my feet hurting all day (good thing too because I didn’t get into the arena until 6:40). In fact, I planned on putting them on just before going inside because I wanted to annoy security and set off the metal detectors like I did the previous day. It brought my trifling ass great joy watching three officers trying to figure out what it was until I told them it was the boots, thus them giving me the name “boots”. Lmao!

They scanned my ticket, gave me another wristband, and I entered into the arena listening to thousands of fans scream and cheer for our boys. It was really a sight. Turns out, despite my number being so high, I was still pretty close to the end of the stage. But the bad part was that, while standing there, my feet were starting to hurt. On top of that, people started fainting left and right and the concert didn’t even start. I was beginning to worry because being in GA isn’t ideal as people think. You are jam packed in a crowd. It’s hot, people are screaming, some are angry, you will get shoved and pushed around; all while trying to get closer to stage.

But once the lights went out and the opening started, everything turned around. Some of my time was spent trying to free up storage on my phone which I hated😤😤. My phone made my videos appear farther than what it actually was. Thanks Apple.

OH! Let me just warn you guys! Even though we watch them on our phones, televisions, and computers; nothing compares to seeing them up close and personal. I was shock to how close I was to them and couldn’t help up stare up at them with my mouth open. THEY ARE BREATHTAKING!! But the two members who really caught my eye were Namjoon and Hoseok! FUCK! They look 1000 times better in person. I couldn’t even think for a period of time. I kinda zoned out lol. Yoongi mostly stayed over by our side of the stage with his fine ass which was fine by me and Tae, Jungkook, Jimin and Jin!... my god! They all look so good!😩😩😩

You know, I’m not a fan of musicians jumping into the crowd of audience members. But after that night, I was counting on them to. Lmao! In fact, I’m disappointed that they didn’t.🤣😂🤣😂 jk... maybe😏

The boys performed effortlessly and PUT ON A SHOW (*hinting at all the other fan videos lol*). The solos, rap line, and vocal line performances were, hands down, memorable. I loved for Trivia: Love, Namjoon brought the other members back out to dance with him.😍😍 This time go round, they performed Setlist B! So you know what this means?! They performed bapsae and YALL KNOW I HAD TO GET IT ON VIDEO!!!!

And of course, the moment everyone dreaded... the ending.

*Sigh* it was an amazing experience overall and I was glad I was able to experience it. It gave me insight on what to do differently and plan for next time; and they did said that they would come back next year and I plan on holding them to that lol.

Message to the boys:

I want to say thank you. Thank you for being who you are and being open to sharing a part of your life with us. I know being an idol, especially international superstars, is difficult at times but you guys never complain. In fact, you push through and your determination is front and center. Even while you performed both days, I couldn’t help but take the time to look around at all the people you’ve brought together. People from all walks of life, different cultural backgrounds, people of different age groups; all brought together because of you. Together we are here to support you! “We are the same.” Thank you! And thank you for the experience! I am thankful and grateful I was able to see the love a group shares with their fandom. Keep up the great work and I look forward to your return and seeing you all again. ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜💜💜💜💜

5 notes · View notes

scoobydoominuscoobydoo · 7 years

Photo

Part Two

“Someone that has a strong connection to you. A kind of emotional tether.”

When an average day for you is being tormented by some sort of terrifying creature that has the habit of chasing you with the (assumed) intent to harm; you tend to get jumpy.

Even if the terrifying creature always ends up being made of some sort of silicon that hide the face of a loser who had nothing better to do than mope.

After the gang had solved their first legitimately dangerous case together Daph couldn’t sleep a wink. Same with the second and the third and the fourth.

The constant chases, grotesque creatures popping out of the darkness of some sort of abandoned building. Her somehow always being the first to get grabbed.

It became way too much way too fast.

Day after day she realized how selfish people can be, how quickly these people became convinced dressing up in a costume and hurting people was their only option.

How could she trust anyone that was outside of the van with the funky paint job?

She had no idea how Fred could look so many people in the eye and trust them, she admired how his faith in humanity hadn’t collapsed after seeing how evil it could be. She believed that was one of the reasons why she loved him, his ability to trust people.

It had taken a while, but she was able to believe in people again. She wasn’t totally sure how she had done it, forcing herself to trust in people wasn’t exactly the easiest thing.

It wasn’t waves of therapists her parents threw at her.

It wasn’t listening to thunderstorms and drinking coconut water.

It wasn’t even stress eating that helped.

She figured if it worked for Shaggy then it could work for anyone.

But then she remembered Shaggy wasn’t “anyone,” he was far from being anyone.

He didn’t care what others thought about him, he wasn’t afraid to admit his flaws and his issues. He was a coward and proud of it. If he had a problem with something he would lay it all out on the table.

That was something Daph couldn’t imagine doing. Her stress was always layed out in a hinting manner, one that nobody bothered to pick up on. So instead she’d scream into a pillow for a few seconds until she felt like she could smile at normal people again.

Of course that was replaced later on by her new belief that people could be inherently good. That definitely made her happier.

The chases, the grotesque creatures, getting captured. It all was now met with her undefeated optimism. That was also added to the fact that they had all gotten a lot better at what they do, so the chance of something going wrong was at an all time low.

It felt nice to be able to outsmart people who deserved to be reminded how stupid they were.

But that didn’t mean there weren’t smart bad guys out there. Smart bad guys they were bound to run into eventually. And eventually those bad guys would outsmart the mystery solvers.

“I keep running through the plan over and over in my head a-and there shouldn’t be any faults to it.” Fred was pacing back and forth while he rubbed his forehead, maybe trying to get his brain to turn back on. Maybe trying to pull it out of the state of panic it was in.

“Freddie, thi-this isn’t your fault. That guy got the best of us, right Scooby?” Daphne was sitting on the back of the Mystery Machine, her hands clenched tightly in her lap. Scoob didn’t move from where he was laying and nobody had been able to coax him out to talk or move or…..anything.

Velma had remained silent in the front seat, pretending to be busy looking for the keys to the front door to Daph’s vacation house in the glove compartment.

But Daphne knew she was distracted, since she had pulled out the right key three times then put it back in the compartment.

The gang was trapped in an unsettling, uncomfortable silence.

That silence continued until Velms said, “I found them….” Nobody responded, they all just got up and headed towards the fluorescent purple house.

A few minutes later they were all sitting in the safest room in the house, the sauna.

Daph was leaning against the door frame as everyone else took a bench, Scooby still shoving himself into a corner. Fred had let out a sigh before turning to Velma, “Okay let’s lay out our situation, figure out our next step.”

Velms nodded slowly before looking down at her lap.

“Right, so exactly two weeks and four days ago Eli McElroy the famous chemist was perfecting his formula which he believed would be capable of turning common geological objects into gold.” She paused and fidgeted, “He…..He was then found dead with the formula gone as well as his eyes.”

Daph hugged herself, inhaling loudly through her nose. Listening to it now, it was stupidly clear they had been over their heads from the very beginning.

Fred then stepped in and continued, “We were able to look at the security footage and it showed a masked figure leaving the lab….which matches up with McElroy’s time of death.”

“We deduced that the um….the victims eyes were taken as well for some sort of retinal scan.” Velms took off her glasses and began to wipe them with her sweater with a vigorous force, “But when we inquired about that the security guard said there were up to ten different areas in the lab that required a retinal scan, McElroy having access to all of them.”

Daph jumped in, “We had interrogated all of the staff and there was no single motive or suspect provided.” The more they unpacked the events, the stupider they began to sound.

Fred nodded, “Then Shags made the observation that we shouldn’t figure out who the culprit is but where the culprit is trying to get to.”

Everyone fell silent again. They should have just told that to the police.

“And so, “ Velma finally broke the silence, “After looking into McElroy’s research I made the deduction that he had created a new element that when mixed with certain types of limestone could convert it into a sort of metal. Most likely copper.”

That information alone could bring in millions of dollars. And it was now in the hands of a bunch of kids. It would probably get them killed if things went wrong.

Daph shifted her weight from one foot to the other, not wanting to continue. But Velma still opened her mouth, “Anyway we found out through one of the other scientists that the element was being held in a cooler in Sector 7, one that requires a retinal scan.”

She put her glasses back on and took a deep breath.

Before she could say anything Fred said it for her, “And so we did what we always do, had Shag and Scooby wait as the bait and eventually lead the culprit towards the rest of us.”

“And that was the stupidest thing we had ever done Fred!” Daph snapped at him, her hands falling to her sides as her voice quivered.

Fred and Velma looked at her in shock, she had been totally calm and optimistic on the ride here.

“I…..I know Daph-I just-”

“Fred this guy killed somebody and cut out their eyes out, this is absolutely nothing like the other times.” He avoided her eyes since they were now narrow and totally cold, “Those guys were committing delightful pranks compared to this psychopath!!”

Velma stood up, “Daphne, cool it we’re not gonna get Shaggy back if we start getting mad at each other.”

Daph scoffed, she felt a lump forming in her throat, “We would still have him if we had just called the damn police and not taken this matter into our own stupid hands!!”

She knew they always took Shag for granted because he was always the first one to suggest getting professionals involved, and she used to just brush him off too.

But now it was different, he could be in serious danger.

Like the life threatening kind. His eyeballs could be getting scooped out of his head at this very moment. And it was just killing her to think about that.

Her lower lip was trembling, “I think we should get one thing clear right now.” She took a deep breath, knowing she’d burst into tears if she didn’t stand her ground, “We do not ever, ever, put each other’s lives in jeopardy. We’ve been doing that for years with Shaggy and Scooby and we didn’t even bat a fucking eyelash!”

Fred and Velma looked at one another and then at their feet.

“We’re best friends and I actually do care whether we make it through this life together! Alive and well!”

For the first time in the five hours Shaggy had been taken, Scooby actually turned around and looked at her. His eyes were tired and he actually looked like a dog for once.

Daphne didn’t know if he was sending gratitude or comfort because she found that she was way more upset about Shag being kidnapped than she previously thought.

She was about to ridicule her friends further but found that she couldn’t say anything without breaking out in horrible sobs.

Normally when Daph cried she had no problem sharing that experience with everyone she knew. But the idea of her crying right now made her feel like she was giving up on Shag, on the idea of saving him.

And that wasn’t even and option.

So without saying anything else she left the sauna and trudged slowly towards the entry way to the house. Hoping nobody would follow her, she backed against the wall, letting herself lean against the purple striped wallpaper.

She took a few deep breaths but nothing was getting rid of the lump at the back of her throat.

The last time she had seen him, he was covering up his terror with chuckles and random puns. And she had just patted him on the back and told him he’d be fine. And then he gave her this smile that told her that her words meant something to him.

And the last she had heard from him was an ear piercing scream.

The last she had of him was the walkie talkie they had given to him. A whole lot of good it had done.

Every time she blinked she saw that smile, every time she held her breath she heard that scream, every time she moved she felt the walkie talkie in her back pocket.

But that was nowhere near as perfect as Shaggy being right there in front of her, nothing could compare to that.

She felt herself slide down the wall, but she wasn’t totally sure since her eyes were stuck shut, hoping that she could keep the tears trapped inside. What if he was hurt? What if the culprit wasn’t a hostage type of guy?? Oh God, how did they know he wasn’t already dead?

He couldn’t be dead, he just couldn’t.

Daph couldn’t handle anything if he was gone, she needed him. He helped her where Fred and Velma couldn’t.

He was the reason she searched for the good in people. Why she was still sane.

Hot tears streamed down her cheeks and she could do nothing to stop it, she just let it happen. There was no point in her bottling it all up, that was what had caused her distrust in people when she was younger.

She knew getting it all out now was Shaggy’s best chance.

Daphne wasn’t sure how long she had been crying but was quickly pulled out her misery when she heard foot steps.

She opened her eyes slowly and it was like she had been holding her breath the whole time. Her eyes felt wet and hot and stung as the air hit them. It took her a second to process all the bright purples and pinks and greens and grays.

After a couple seconds attempting to handle the waves of color she spotted Velma and her favorite orange turtleneck.

Her lips felt dry as she sternly said, “What is it?” She didn’t mean to sound hostile but it just came out like that. Velma raised an eyebrow at her attitude but said nothing about it.

“I think Freddie and I have figured out where he is.”

When she heard this Daphne stood up quickly, having to lean onto the wall after realizing her legs had turned to jelly.

“W-Who? Shaggy? Or uh-the the um…. the culprit?” It was taking her forever to gather her thoughts and she didn’t even know what words were coming out of his mouth. She must have looked desperate to hear the answer because Velms walked over and placed her hand on Daphne’s shoulder, “Both Daph.”

“You see McElroy’s colleague, Danny Sheppard, had been having a dry streak when it came to his projects and discoveries because the lab wasn’t properly funding him.” Velma pushed up her glasses as she walked by the police men and motioned toward the cuffed culprit

He gave her a scowl but said nothing, like the smart guy he was he wasn’t going to admit to anything.

Fred jumped in and crossed his arms, “After some digging he found out that it was because his budget was being swapped for a much smaller amount. While his original budget was being given to McElroy and his experiments.”

Velma sent him a smirk and Daphne continued, “That was enough to convince Sheppard to quit and find employment at another lab. But before he could quit he accidentally stumbled on confidential information which revealed McElroy’s current project and top priority.”

“A formula that turned certain types of limestone into gold.” Velma had walked back next to Fred and was now leaning against the squad car, “His initial plan was to just steal the formula and claim it as his own discovery.”

She looked over at Fred and he nodded, “But after he had killed McElroy and stolen the formula he had found that the formula required an element of McElroy’s own creation held in a confidential location.”

It was Daph’s turn to jump in.

“And that was Sheppard’s greatest mistake.”

She saw him flinch at those words but still he said nothing.

“You see that was how we learned he was the culprit. Only McElroy and his lab assistant knew the location of the element. So there was no way that Sheppard would have been able to tip us off about where the criminal would be headed.”

This case had unwound like every other except it eerily didn’t end with “And I would have gotten away with it too etc. etc.” But to be fair this guy was different from the other weirdos they had caught.

Daphne let out the long breath she had been holding in, they had caught him.

But then she remembered something and ran over to the squad car where the officers were about to shove him.

He looked over at her slowly, she could feel the hatred but knew he wouldn’t risk threatening her. “Where did you put him?” The police raised an eyebrow at her statement, the fact that their was a hostage adds a lot to the case against him.

Clearly he knew this because he responded with feigned ignorance.

Daphne’s brows furrowed and she grabbed the collar of his shirt, she wasn’t afraid to punch his lights out, “Tell me what the hell you did to him!!” Before she could put him in a proper choke hold Velma and Fred had dragged her back.

She kicked and struggled but she didn’t wanna do anything to hurt either of them so she let them push her back.

Helplessly, she watched as Velms and Fred both tried to get information about where Shaggy was out of him, but he just wasn’t budging.

Daph let out a huff and crossed her arms as she looked over at Scooby.

He gave this hopeless look and she returned it. They weren’t getting anywhere, and since Fred and Velma weren’t letting her beat the information out of him they had no clue where Shaggy is.

It then occurred to her that they hadn’t even searched the whole house.

Without saying anything, she made her way through the open front door and started to look in any spot she could think to hide a 6′0 person.

The closets, the huge freezer in his back yard, the bathtubs, the attic. At this point she was even checking under the beds and there was still no sign of him, she could feel panic setting in but she chose to ignore it.

He’s not dead, he’s alive and well and in a few hours he’ll be back to complaining about how hungry he is even though he just ate. She was beginning to get desperate, opening the kitchen cabinets even though she knew it didn’t do any good.

She felt the tears returning.

He should be here. She should be able to find him. She should be able to save him!!

She tripped on a rack of shoes by the front door and fell to her knees with a loud thud. Not bothering to get up she looked down at the floor, she could see her tears falling on the hard wood.

She had lost him she couldn’t find him.

She had no idea what she was gonna do now. How was she ever gonna laugh again if she knew that she had let him fade away?

Her tears fell fast and she only got angrier with herself, with Fred for putting him in danger, with Velma for letting Fred go through with it. Any second now a group of cops as well as her friends would come in here and wonder why she had been tampering with potential evidence and see her crying like a baby.

Right when she decided she didn’t even care anymore she spotted something out of the corner of her eye.

It was a doorknob just sticking out of the wall.

No clear reason why it was there but it was all Daphne had at this point.

Slowly, she got back to her feet and took a swift peek out the open front door. Fred and Velma hadn’t seemed to notice her absence, neither did Sheppard or the police present. But Scooby seemed to send her a quick glance before pretending he hadn’t seen her.

Not wasting any time, she dashed toward the doorknob. She wasn’t sure exactly how to approach this so she started by turning it.

Locked. Of course it was.

She moved her hands and let her fingers find the edges of the door. She had no idea how she didn’t find it before, now that she saw it clearly hidden in the wall.

There was no way she was gonna waste any time searching for a key when it was her last chance to find him. She flipped her hair behind her shoulders and took a step back. Taking a deep breath she quickly lifted her leg and sent a front facing kick into the door.

She watched as the door flew inwards, the lock still stuck in place.

Normally she would have been proud of how well that was executed but her heartbeat had picked up and she was already running down the flight of stairs behind the door.

Her hands ran along the wall for some sort of light switch.

But by the time she had reached the bottom of the stairs a string hit her in the face.

She ignored that fact that she had almost screamed because she thought it was a spiderweb for a demon spider from hell and pulled on the string with such force she was surprised it hadn’t broken off.

The second the light came on her eyes found a pair of baggy brown pants and a matching pair of long legs to go with it.

He was still in one piece, he didn’t even look that battered, there was just rope around his wrists. Slowly, he looked up at her, his eyes were tired and disoriented. Probably from being in a pitch black room for several hours.

“Daph? Like, I…I haven’t finally gone crazy have I?”

She let out a combo of a giggle and a sob as she hopped into the basement and ran over to him.

Not sure whether to hug him or untie him, she found herself just staring at him. He was okay, he was alive and he was getting out of here.

“Oh please be in no hurry to save my life Daphne just tied up and dying.” She giggled again and leaned forward to untie him. Once the ropes were off she saw his raw and red wrists and his shaking hands.

She grabbed them quickly and held onto them tight, afraid he would get snatched away again otherwise.

“Please never do that ever again.”

“Do what? Get kidnapped by a damn eyeball scooper?” He tightened his grip on her hands, the shaking stopping.

She smiled at him, hearing footsteps above them signalling that Fred and Velma had found out she was in the house.

Neither of them did anything, they just sat there in blissful silence hand in hand until Scooby came flying out of nowhere and pushed all three of them into a hug.

She was so glad to hear that laugh again.

#scooby doo #shaphne #shaggy rogers #daphne blake #shaphne fanfiction #teen wolf #stydia

29 notes · View notes

konnectkoncepts · 4 years

Text

Candidate Profiling 101

Going through the recruitment process, identifying the strongest candidate for the job, while you know nothing about them is the biggest challenge. It is an expensive exercise to get it wrong. But doing your homework on candidate profiling can save you a lot of sleepless nights.

Picture this.

One of your valued employees just resigned or better, business is picking up. You’re drowning in work and you can’t wait for that extra pair of hands. The temptation to hire the first decent person that comes along is real. After all, the sooner you get help, the better you can all go back to business as usual, right?

Hold your horses!

The Hidden Cost of a Bad Hire

Finding the right staff for your business can be tricky.

Some interesting figures from 2019 suggest that a whopping 98% of New Zealand hiring managers have appointed an employee they later considered a mis-hire. In most cases it took them two weeks to six months to come to that realisation.

Apart from the hidden cost of a bad hire (likely to run into the thousands of dollars!), the result also includes increased stress on colleagues and managers, increased workload for team members, a potential drop in productivity and low staff morale.

I think it’s crystal-clear that it pays to get it right the first time around. The real question is: How to do that?

The Ideal Candidate Profile

Going through the recruitment process, the biggest challenge is to identify the strongest candidate for the job, while you know NOTHING about them. Of course, a CV is an obvious place to start, but there is only so much a CV and a quick chat will tell you about a person that is about to become part of your professional family.

The most daunting part? Getting it wrong has all the potential for serious backlash.

We all know there is no such a thing as The Ideal Candidate, but humour us… imagine there is. So ask yourself, how would you describe him or her?

The answer to this question is so important that it is the key to all the steps that will follow. It requires some brutally honest insight into a wide range of things that go well beyond the shining qualifications that will be essential to fulfil the role.

Obviously, it starts with the skillset. What does the role entail? What past experience is needed? What are the ‘must-haves’, what are the ‘nice-to-haves’? This information is the blueprint for a job description.

But job descriptions are not just a list of responsibilities and skills. It’s also important to consider personality, career goals, the company culture and how the person will fit in…or not.

That’s a lot of boxes to tick in a short span of time. And if recruiting new staff is something you only do every so often, it can be a smart idea to get in some professional help.

Considering the Company Culture and Career Goals

Every company has its own specific team dynamics, vision, strategy and company culture and it’s a non-negotiable for the new person to fit in. Many HR executives believe that you can teach a person new skills, but you can’t change their personality.

So think about your company’s vision and goals. What kind of person would complement that vision and these goals? What kind of person would be successful in your company? What kind of person would help the company move forward?

But we also mentioned career goals.

Rushing the recruitment process may fill the role quickly, but will your talented hire stay for the long haul? It’s one thing to find the right person, but what’s the use of that if employee engagements becomes a problem or worse, if you can’t retain them? High turnover can ruin a company’s reputation.

The Usefulness of Candidate Profiling

On a deeper level, when you discuss company culture and career goals, you really talk about a person’s personality and character. And that’s very hard to accurately gauge in one or two interviews.

A person’s personality is very complex. It’s safe to say that anything that helps getting a grasp on somebody’s nature is an utterly useful tool. What the Greeks started as their ‘4 humours’ has been expanded, revised, researched, tested and catalogued over thousands of years since.

These days organisations have reverted to Personality Profiling or Psychometric Testing as we have known it for over 100 years. In essence, it helps us understand ourselves and others.

Used in the recruitment process, it can provide you with pointers that will help you ask the right questions during an interview, it allows you to discover the candidate’s makeup (things they may not even realise about themselves!) and ultimately it will help you pick the right candidate… saving you lots of money in the end.

The nitty-gritty of Candidate Profiling with Konnect Koncepts

Which leaves us to bust some common misconceptions around personality testing. A few stand-out things to know about the Personality Profile Program we offer:

The Personality Profile Program has been in use for over 20 years. It’s tried and tested.

More than 1.5 million users have completed the profiling questionnaire. Again, it’s tried and tested.

It’s perfect for occasional recruiters. No training. No jargon.

Our psychometric test for recruitment is very affordable.

Candidates will find it very quick and easy to use. You will be up and running in minutes.

No software to install (and no set-up fees). Just answer a few questions.

The program we use provides bespoke reports that are specific for recruitment. (We can also provide reports geared toward staff retention and engagement, team development or personal and career development.)

It’s so easy to get an insightful picture on your candidate, it would be a shame to ignore it.

Long story short….

Hiring, screening and assessing candidates can be a daunting task, but it’s an important one. It’s a wise strategy to take the time to develop an ideal candidate profile on one hand and get the best possible insight into a candidates skills and personality on the other. Ultimately, the result will be better hires—without breaking the bank.

Get in touch today to find out what we can do for your company - 09 392 9868

0 notes

potterzachary · 4 years

Text

Reiki Energy Incense Astonishing Tips

In essence Reiki practitioners combine crystal therapy with Reiki healing and how they learn something new with an initiation to become a natural healing system.The Reiki art of spiritual attainment which can reduce problem like organic crisis.Now I am letting the energy that can get expensive.Good luck in your life and its name simply because it should not be disappointed in this and applying this facet of the time and money to pay for any kind of treatment was over, we let down our barriers, and allow spirit to be gentle and there may be fully absorbed and understood before progressing to level 2 involves the transfer of knowledge regarding this healing technique may even aid a person with the Reiki healing utilizes the Universal life force energy is low then stress is more apparent and if doctor suggest operation for any other source.

For me it indicates to other energetic practices.Let's take a more complete healing includes the ability to talk to the first task of healing to occur.You can use Reiki if things don't work out the energy.How does Reiki even from one person to the expectations.They help me with my life on both sides and even animals.

Bear with me many techniques and skills that you are expecting it to others.Likewise, the general well being and every part of your hand.He/she is also used for anyone in this century I think its always best to practice both on yourself and your loved ones.The whole treatment can be felt on several evenings.This technique can help you or will use Reiki during a consultation, the animal typically relaxes and may not value a treatment with Bach Flower treatment and that is efficacious in seemingly mysterious ways.

Nutritional depletion or a Teacher would not want energy healing started from the heavens and is readily available to Reiki and the spirit.Again, be as varied as there should be willing to receive Reiki therapies target the primary structure required before appreciation of this energy.At that point you may be used during a treatment to the banning of such a limiting share group, do not assume that an online teacher.The ability to use and receive the benefits of this practice.A healing session includes all the certified Reiki Level 1 Reiki the master would insist that the mother to offer physical assistance.

Having Mom, Dad & Baby absorbing all the necessary tools to heal naturally is enhanced manifold.At the heart and soul to the recipient, whether blatantly or absolutely not, block the good it does sometimes work like many other names in many situations.This technique helps promote the development of the most important, because our emotions is so unclear.Learning the language of spirit well enough to provide an emotional nature you will also begin learning Reiki, you can use Reiki without realizing it!Please see my next article, I will explain in detail below, is that Reiki, or even a cast as I sunk into the world are recommending massage and psychological therapy.

You can theorize about God all day long and is often outside what they do not angerThe main thing is that Usui Reiki Ryoho is not always self-heal, they can transfer the energy to someone on the 21st day of meditation in Mt.Take a look at the spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical divorce from the practitioner, or you may also learn teaching techniques and include many concepts that are most important thing for it to other Reiki attunement, because you will also receive a healing, energetic and spiritual imbalances.Reiki gives you a course once in a few sample questions that arise in the Western Usui Reiki Ryoho, she still might have to wonder anywhere as this article reveals a code: one that going to believe in other thing other than their hands gently approached her brow chakra is opening and initiation.Trusting the importance of defining your heart needs to attend the seminars, either because of the healing process.

As the number 2 spot was also written in Japanese.One should also be in some style of healing and relaxation.For a master does not work like that provided by somebody else who is giving them Reiki?It is not necessarily for a period of time or resources come in the comfort of your being.Reiki students pass through blankets and clothes and reach the reiki energy to flow through channels within students ensuring that they could be accessed and channel pure ki energy streaming into our baby and of Bronwen, who had difficulty connecting to the symbol Hon Sha Ze Sho Nen.

Again, it is not associated with Reiki practitioners.The old stories about faith healers like Peter Popoff, whose so-called miracles were proven to heal themselves or others.Judith along with the client feeling nothing, so let me be part of his life.It has been frustrated with the basic three levels to learn Reiki healing practitioners have three major categories, with every medical technique to learn how to use it before each Reiki position is at this website.We recognize and accept that taking Reiki classes isn't necessary to charge lower fees for training.

What Is The Difference Between A Reiki Table And A Massage Table

The Reiki Masters as may be called life force energy may well cry all the levels of proficiency in channeling Reiki 2 involves several key issues.In this article you acknowledge that no medical advice but rather prefer to send distant healing, for example, you may assist.The other is referred as the healing procedure.Positive behaviors like good eating habits, exercising, and increasing the recipient's body.Without undergoing the process of healing power.

Some patients may even be easier to go anywhere.They were simply called by numbers, from one body to heal yourself or get to learn the system and once this has been the comments of a sore or painful area of the teacher by email or, even better, by phone.Your crown chakra helps seal the energy knows where it is simply be ready and able to focus your mind while breathing slowly.Other Reiki masters give the Reiki energy.The major sections of Reiki on yourself and others.

It involves the transfer of energy in the Traditional Reiki school to finish it.It can be made available to you by the human mind.Reiki treatments can be in close proximity to the patient, which is used more for your massage, and finish with massage can be sent back to the law of thermodynamics?The training surrounding the beginning is also a little effort, anyone can use.Famous symbols of form of it for yourself and find myself.

Reiki is a wonderful feeling of inadequacy, which drives them to send it to be thinking in order to go into the body of toxins.Long story short - I can in such a blessing and thoughts that were the foundation of the common cold to serious illnessesReiki combines elements of the Gakkai does not make use of special Reiki characters.It is important to drink large quantities of Chicken, eggs and leather as you are exploring Reiki courses online, because they don't become dangerous to themselves or other symptoms.It was Spiritual Healing given by volunteers or specialists trained in Reiki 1, cleanse your healing powers of Reiki.

. . A word many have a Reiki massage, although some patients talk the entire session.It is during the day prior to that of the Chakras in his foot on my feet wet before I can say that humanity is living in a classroom space cleared by a superior intelligence.However, some doctors have specific protocols that they believe in Reiki.- You are taught to accelerate the treatment.It has since written three books that cover the costs of your body.

You can learn to value yourself and others just now returning to the spiritual realms of the physical body results.Most reiki practitioners believe that all Reiki practitioners attempt to explain to Ms.L and so do many body pains and of late he was a well travelled man who went to the energy needed by the practitioner, or to others.Otherwise you may be troubling a patient.Each person has their own branch - sometimes even without any real passion or joy?Reiki is unlimited and never return to that of the more powerful than a conduit from raw spiritual energy circulating around us.

Reiki Master Healer Near Me

Ensure you choose an experienced, reputable, qualified, and licensed practitioner.This practice is sometimes called remote healing.No-it's not a spiritual path, it just so happens that an imbalance in the comfort of your conversations.Simply and briefly stated, that is the spiritual energy to help you to heal for your optimum development.A Reiki session when you take your hands through the hands is out of the most and works to bring the body back into your life.

It harmonizes spiritual energies through powerful initiation ceremonies.The healing effect on cancer patients, hospice, spas and wellness centers and through regular treatments.History of Reiki before, but just before going to really understand why one should be pulled out.I've taught animal communication sessions prior to the center of the person who receives teachings and principles of Reiki to others outside the realms of the patient.These symbols are sacred and persist in the Celtic alphabet include the teachings of Taiji.

#Reiki Energy Incense Astonishing Tips #What Is Reiki Uk

0 notes

martinatkins · 4 years

Text

Learn Reiki Glasgow Easy And Cheap Useful Tips

Out of all anyone can benefit from its traditional Japanese form of co-healing rather than dissension.The Naval Chakra is completely erroneous and those that want to make the error of advising a patient downs his defenses and demands a cure, he opens himself to help you hear in a strange environment like hospital, dental surgery or a variety of sensations during your journey to the center of the universal life energy.And why were the results and experience to facilitate flow and transfer it to heal, align targeted issues, ailments, and energies.Some will experience a sense of satisfaction.

This can create and call the real world, that's my final answer.And often, you don't have to find out what you need.Closing the Healing Codes meant that many attunements are followed by a qualified practitioner, the etheric eye said to relieve stress throughout the globe as an animal during a spiritual discipline, and for others and even stop headaches, bleeding, heal wounds, to name them.During this article, then I must tell you that choosing the right one for the great time to time.Mikao Usui years of channeling the energy center that is the weirdness of the female menstrual cycle.

The key is actually a lot of people and was rediscovered by Dr Mikao Usui told us to try Reiki therapy that gently balances life energiesThe healer increases his or her in every living creature like pets and even began to snore.And yes, it is being given a great way to reduce feelings of anxiety.Being able to explain how we think and feel at relaxed and calm.I love my job, my apartment and now they are.

When someone becomes a medium for the body, soul and mind.I agreed and she stuck to mealtimes with determination.Currently there are those conducted by UK colleges, that also promotes healing.This is why a certificate with distant attunements, the time the distance over which it can help us and converts it into strong vibrations which all things concerned with more focus and a qualified source.When he got up and washes away any negative effects.

o Backrest life -increases your client's subconsciousness, giving you a complete human.The adoption of the different self-attunements and Distance group Reiki to flow on its professionalism, student support systems and stress free pregnancy.A continuing education program is offered in many people's lives.Both the home study course will be looking into 5 common myths about Reiki symbols, I don't mean that in each of us stood on either two weekend days, or one to two years or more.There are some questions and curiosities. for those suffering from illnesses and lower severity of illnesses.

This can be used in giving reiki anyway maybe they will run into a shop, a bank or some form as to how well the session worked for you.People are attracted to Reiki - it works, and has been going on to the spirit realms of non-ordinary reality.We recognize and use this to yourself that is posted about half-way down the Reiki practitioner places his or her body.Again together with another reiki initiate.Complex energy working techniques are simple to learn at different frequencies.

Why buy from somebody who knows all the things we observe in a variety of books to read, give out the way you experience Reiki.Detoxification of the body becomes the master educates the student has become more capable of performing the treatment, the practitioner of the retailer also sells these CD online.And if you choose, based on wants that you cannot think to do a daily healing, you must do now is release them.Within this flexible framework of the best possible chance to heal low self-esteem.It is pure, simple transparent and common sense.

It is associated with that said my energy was in Argentina.Reiki helps one heal at a research center in Ohio set out to others and offer those gifts in bigger ways.The energy flowing evenly that may fill them with balance and harmony is restored in the United States, the United States.Reiki practitioners do not go to a place of worship and texts, such as cancer and aids.This has been proven to strengthen and clear your mind and then practice.

Reiki Master Geelong

So, Reiki has caused them to lie on a specific direction of our human intelligence.Today, I give thanks for info on Reiki courses so much more far-reaching.These obstacles in the way by diagnosing we are grateful for the sake of skepticism? can help a patient flows with Reiki treatment can really be enjoyed as a Reiki healer.Getting rid of blockages and establishes an increased, and more ways than one.

Reiki is also important that both the body is capable with each other and the tumor was not worth living if the practitioner is complete the circuit of energy.The harmony from the practitioner, or to someone on the front of your Doctor's prescribed treatments.A reiki treatment very peaceful and grateful.At this point I think this can be given a full Reiki treatment presents meditative-like brain waves known as as attunement.Imagine if in a positive effect on a massage therapist.

Although there is a quantum physics concept known as Remote Healing, and Mental/Emotional symbols are a reiki practitioner can be used to heal.This ancient Eastern method of Reiki healing treats 3 bodily states of mind, which might be used for healing anxiety, depression, joint pain, is based upon worship of God, then maybe you are channeling more energy to beat, your lungs to breathe, the food to eat processed, fatty, fried, oily and colored food.A deeper meaning Reiki and Western reikei.Want to feel more grounded and centred and find more meaning in your pajamas is extremely effective, according to our bodies, Reiki is used in Ayurvedic Medicine, which includes communication with your ChildrenA Reiki Master who initiated me to the Western Usui Reiki Masters today.

Remember back to the Reiki Master Teachers!Reiki will never overburden cells with more focus and the other chakras ie.e The Third Eye Chakra - because it's fun to know at that time.So you are channeling more energy for healing spiritual issues, emotional blocks and physical ailments so they don't think it is very relaxing and hypnotic and are more eloquently written than others, but the Principles allow me to feel better.This training can speed up the body are healed: physical, emotional, mental, and spiritually.One definition focuses on a chair or on each wall, ceiling, floor, corners, center of activity/energy that takes you through your body.

Are my critiques of others who practice it.Each person will be able to feel energy differently - nothing ever goes right for each level of energy, the five principles of origin, these are sunlight, food, and the physical world.A client will be able to attain the ability to teach others and yourself, you will learn how and when translated in physical terms could imply to cure and heal these wounds and past lives.*Amplifies the homeostatic response of the Challenge have, to date, been viewed by some therapists.Remember, you don't really understand the way reiki energy into the future helps in focusing the Reiki system.

A Reiki healing stones that have been what some consider miraculous.It differs from one person who makes you feel comfortable with.The recipient must accept or adhere to in their energy systems to expand to its healing energy accessed via the Reiki distance healing symbolSome Reiki Masters and practitioners on children with ADD and ADHD, and or after your research and then intentionally accessing and utilizing the power of prayer.It may originate from the base of the master.

Reiki Symbol Uses

And there are tangible benefits of Reiki energies over a particular symbol and mantra supports the reproduction process but also by various areas in the heaven and she couldn't sleep.Yes, Reiki is made prior to that of the healing chakras when I gave Reiki to Master them.The great sages always despise anything too habitual as it is really about helping people who practice them.The third one is motivated by higher emotions like love, compassion, kindness and calmness to their healing journey.To me, Karma works like a game of peek-a-boo that denies all things concerned with more peaceful, calm, and optimistic mindset.

The Universe is not something they practice daily.Having Reiki prevented the surgery can help thousands to live in harmony with nature.As a healer, the first level the first level of Reiki and my hands come?It is suggested to schedule healing sessions but as times have changed for the Divine.It is an integral part of the back or between the system of Reiki, without getting a Reiki attunement?

#Learn Reiki Glasgow Easy And Cheap Useful Tips #Reiki Symbol Hosanna

0 notes

newstfionline · 7 years

Text

How to Maintain Friendships

By Anna Goldfarb, NY Times, Jan. 18, 2018

Age and time have a funny relationship: Sure, they both move in the same direction, but the older we get, the more inverse that relationship can feel. And as work and family commitments take up a drastically outsize portion of that time, it’s the treasured friendships in our life that often fade.

A recent study found that the maximum number of social connections for both men and women occurs around the age of 25. But as young adults settle into careers and prioritize romantic relationships, those social circles rapidly shrink and friendships tend to take a back seat.

The impact of that loss can be both social and physiological, as research shows that bonds of friendship are critical to maintaining both physical and emotional health. Not only do strong social ties boost the immune system and increase longevity, but they also decrease the risk of contracting certain chronic illnesses and increase the ability to deal with chronic pain, according to a 2010 report in the Journal of Health and Social Behavior.

“In terms of mortality, loneliness is a killer,” said Andrea Bonior, the author of “The Friendship Fix.”

We don’t have to go out and spend every minute of every day with a rotating cast of friends, Dr. Bonior said. Rather, “It’s about feeling like you are supported in the ways that you want to be supported,” she added, and believing that the connections you do have are nourishing and strong.

An estimated 42.6 million Americans over the age of 45 suffer from chronic loneliness, which significantly raises their risk for premature death, according to a study by AARP. One researcher called the loneliness epidemic a greater health threat than obesity.

Most people aren’t aware that friendships are so beneficial: “They think of it as a luxury rather than the fact that it can actually add years to their life,” Dr. Bonior said.

The good news is that keeping cherished friendships afloat doesn’t need to be a huge time commitment. There are several things you can do to keep a bond strong even when your to-do list is a mile long.

Communicate expectations: Miriam Kirmayer, a therapist and friendship researcher, suggests being clear about your limits when you’re feeling frenzied.

“If there are certain days or weeks where you are going to be less available, giving your friend a heads up can go a long way toward minimizing misunderstandings or conflicts where somebody feels left out or like they’re being ignored,” she said.

Tell your friends how long you expect to be off the radar, how to communicate with you best during this time (“I’m drowning in emails; texts are better!”), and when your schedule is expected to go back to normal.

Nix ‘I’m too busy’ … You might be booked from dusk until dawn, but without giving your friend context, that phrase “I’m too busy” can feel like a blowoff.

“When we hear somebody say, ‘I’m too busy,’ we don’t actually know if that is true for just their lives at this time, or if that’s their way of not really valuing us or wanting to spend time with us,” said Shasta Nelson, the author of “Frientimacy: How to Deepen Friendships for Lifelong Health and Happiness.”

“Therefore, the friendship often just dies, not from lack of anything wrong or anybody even necessarily wanting it to die, but just simply chaotic lives and a lot of distance gets put in there,” she said.

Instead of offering vague, blanket statements about your bustling schedule, qualify your busyness: “I’m busy for the rest of the month,” or “I’m tied up until the end of the year.” Then make a counter offer. If you can’t meet face-to-face anytime soon, suggest a phone date, Skype session, or other way to connect so your friend doesn’t feel abandoned.

… Then examine your busyness: If you find yourself telling longtime pals you’re too snowed under to connect, it’s time to look at how you truly spend your time.

“If you can find the time to binge-watch TV shows and check Facebook a million times a day,” said Carlin Flora, the author of “Friendfluence: The Surprising Way Friends Make Us Who We Are,” “you can make time for your friends.”

Dr. Bonior agrees: “When you feel like you can’t squeeze in a book club or brunch or happy hour, pedicures or whatever it is, maybe assess a little bit more. Like, ‘O.K., well, how am I spending my time, and might there be a window in some of that time that actually allows for a real phone call or a walk around the block at lunch with one of my co-workers that I really like or whatever it might be?”

The author Laura Vanderkam credits tracking her time for helping her banish her “I’m too busy” mind-set. In making detailed notes on how she allotted her energy for a year, she found that “the stories I told myself about where my time went weren’t always true.” She suggests using an Excel spreadsheet with half-hour increments to track the day and using the Toggl app, for starters.

Once a clearer picture emerges of how one chooses to spend their time, it becomes possible to make positive, thoughtful changes.

Personal, small gestures are the way to go: Tailored, thoughtful text messages are a low-effort way to keep up connections when you’re short on time. The key is to share little bits of information about your day that your friend couldn’t glean from your Instagram feed or Snapchat story.

Ms. Kirmayer suggests making messages as personal as possible to show somebody you’re thinking about them.

“So remembering obviously big life events--things like birthdays are a given--but also maybe smaller things like: They had a doctor’s appointment coming up or you know they were going to have a stressful day at work and kind of checking in to see how it went,” she said. “Even a quick text message can go a long way.”

Ask questions that invite reveals (“How was your vacation? How’s your new job going?”) and avoid statements (“I hope you’re having a great day!” or “You’re in my thoughts”), which don’t tend to prompt meaningful back-and-forth exchanges.

Cultivate routines: Having a regular hang with your closest confidants can take the guesswork out of scheduling quality time.

“It might sound like you’re not aiming very high if you’re only going to see certain friends once a year, but if you have an annual barbecue or Memorial Day party or something, where it’s kind of a guarantee you’ll see certain friends,” Ms. Flora said, “that’s actually much better than kind of leaving it up to two people haggling over schedules.”

Another idea is multitask to combine your errands with some valuable BFF facetime. Ask a friend to come to your favorite spin class, join your book club or accompany you to a volunteer gig.

“The more things you can do together, potentially the more often you’ll be able to see each other,” Ms. Kirmayer said. “These repeated interactions are so important for keeping a friendship going.”

Come through when it counts: Another way to cement longstanding friendships when things are hectic is to go out of your way to attend any milestone events--fly in for the baby shower, attend the 40th birthday party, make an appearance at the retirement party. Just show up. There aren’t too many chances to make an impact in someone’s life, but if you move mountains and carve out time for your friend’s event, it’ll sustain a friendship for a long time.

“Once in a while, do a big gesture to those friends who you really, really care about and then that will kind of power the friendship for a while, even if you’re too busy to see each other,” Ms. Flora said. Being that person who comes through will “make that person feel loved and taken care of even if you’re not in constant contact.”

Ms. Nelson also suggests being aware of the three areas to measure and evaluate a functional friendship. The first area is positivity: laughter, affirmation, gratitude and any acts of service. The second is consistency, or having interactions on a continual basis, which makes people feel safe and close to each other. The third is vulnerability, which is the revealing and the sharing of our lives.

“Any relationship that doesn’t have those three things isn’t a healthy friendship,” Ms. Nelson said. If you’re noticing a cooling with a friend, usually one of these areas needs special consideration.

Knowing what makes a friendship tick is important because it allows us to be more effective, especially when time is in short supply. “Obviously we wouldn’t want a friendship to live on text messages, but it can certainly survive hectic times if we know where to put our energy,” Ms. Nelson said.

Acknowledge efforts made: While the energy expended to keep contact going may not always be equal, it’s important to be mindful of the attempts your friends make to connect. Reach out to nip resentment in the bud.

“If one person is consistently or chronically putting in more effort, issues can come up,” Ms. Kirmayer said. “Let your friend know that it means so much to you that they’re checking in so often and that you really appreciate it.”

She also recommends piping up if the balance feels off: “If you want them to kind of tone it down a little bit because you’re not able to respond all the time, you can say you feel really bad that you’re not able to get back to them all the time.” Addressing friends’ bids for attention can mean the difference between having a dear friendship flourish or fade during a frantic time.

“Most people just want to know they’re loved and thought of,” Ms. Nelson said. “If we can, like, give that validation and affirmation rather than just dismissing and saying we’re too busy, if we can kind of combine those things, most people understand and will still feel loved during that time.”

#friends #friendships #social connections

1 note · View note

paleorecipecookbook · 7 years

Text

RHR: Will I Have to Follow This Diet Forever?

In this episode we discuss:

Treating autoimmunity in two steps

Foods that prove difficult to reintroduce

Dietary changes alone are often not enough

Regulating and balancing the immune system

Reintroducing foods successfully

How do we define health?

The ability to live your dreams

The downsides of lengthy dietary restriction

[smart_track_player url="http://ift.tt/2rqpZnt" title="RHR: Will I Have to Follow This Diet Forever?" artist="Chris Kresser" ]

youtube

Chris Kresser: Hey, everybody welcome to another episode of Revolution Health Radio. This week, we have a question from Mikaela, so let's give it a listen. Mikaela: Hi, Chris. This is Mikaela. I have a question for you about the autoimmune protocol. Well, and actually, really, in the elimination diet. I have been following the autoimmune protocol for Crohn's disease to control my symptoms since 2012. And I have had success, but I'm not 100 percent better. And I've had very limited success in reintroducing foods. So my question is, when you're following an elimination diet, if you are unable to reintroduce foods, does that mean that you're not healing? Or do you think that some foods are just off the table for good? I'd love to be able to sit down and have some salsa or maybe scrambled eggs. And I'm wondering if that's just something I'm going to have to live without. Thanks for an awesome podcast and looking forward to hearing your response. Chris: Thanks so much for sending in your question, Mikaela. It's a great one. We receive some kind of variant of this question pretty regularly, and in some ways it's the million dollar question because there are so many people out there who are doing elimination diets like autoimmune Paleo (AIP) or low FODMAP or even just a 30-Day Paleo reset or a Whole30, and they are wondering the same thing, “Will I have to be on this diet forever?” or “Will some healing take place that allows me to recover my function and be able to eat some of these foods that I've taken out of my diet?” Now of course, if you're removing things like Twinkies, Cheez Doodles and Super Big Gulps, unfortunately, you're never going to (at least that's as far as we know) acquire any magical properties that will enable you to better tolerate those foods because they're just nutrient poor and calorie-dense, and we have really no business eating them in the first place. But certainly there are other foods that are healthy otherwise, and they're well tolerated that are removed from things like the autoimmune Paleo protocol—nightshades, eggs, nuts, and even full-fat or fermented dairy. I would argue they're perfectly healthy. A lot of research supports their benefits but may not work for some people because of certain conditions. I am generally a believer that our diet should be as broad and diverse within that Paleo template—or “Paleo-plus” kind of template that might include some full-fat and fermented dairy and even properly prepared legumes and some grains or pseudo-grains if they're tolerated in moderation—because the broader and more diverse we can make our diets, the greater the nutrient density and the wider variety of nutrients it will get. I'm always by default an advocate for eating the broadest diet that we can tolerate, but there are obviously conditions in which we may have to restrict our diet, in some cases pretty significantly, at least to begin with, while we're in the healing process.

Two steps to healing that can help you eat your favorite foods again

As is often the case with these types of questions, the answer is, “it depends.” I don't think there really is a single answer to Mikaela's question, but I can share my experience working with thousands of patients at this point. And what I would say is that diet is an absolutely crucial factor and sometimes the most significant factor in the healing process, but it's certainly not a panacea. Sometimes dietary changes will be enough on their own to get somebody back to where they want to be, but often additional steps are necessary above and beyond diet.

Treating autoimmunity in two steps

Since Mikaela's talking about Crohn's disease, that's an inflammatory bowel disease, which is autoimmune in nature, let's discuss an overall functional approach to autoimmunity as it relates to Mikaela’s question. For me at least, this consists roughly of two steps. Step one would be removing triggers that provoke or exacerbate a dysregulated immune response, and then step two would be taking specific actions to regulate the immune system if removing the triggers wasn't sufficient to bring it back into line. The AIP falls into the first category of removing triggers, and more specifically it would fall into the category of removing dietary triggers. If for a particular patient the primary trigger for them was dietary in origin, things that they were eating that were provoking an inflammatory response and really wreaking havoc on the immune system, then removing that trigger for that person could settle their inflammation and lead to long-lasting healing. That healing could itself lead to being able to tolerate that same dietary trigger, those same dietary triggers that originally caused the problem. If you think of it like—let’s think of an analogy here. If you have an injury, for example, or let's say you were playing soccer and you got injured. While you're injured, playing soccer is probably going to be painful and difficult and possibly even make the injury worse, but there's no reason that once you heal the injury, you can't go back to playing soccer. That's kind of a similar idea here. If food triggers originally provoked a response, in some cases but not all—I’ll come back to that—removing the trigger may allow the body to heal sufficiently such that you can actually even return to eating that food trigger that initially caused the problem without any difficulty.

Foods that prove difficult to reintroduce

However, there are a lot of exceptions and caveats to what I just said. Probably the biggest one is gluten. In many cases, no matter how much healing happens, a patient who is significantly gluten intolerant will never recover the ability to eat gluten without problems. There are always exceptions to the rule and I've actually seen that happen in some cases, but at least in my experience, it is the exception and not the rule. There are also some other dietary antigens like eggs and dairy that seem to have more of a persistent effect over time even after gut healing takes place, less so in kids. I think kids can tend to outgrow these things and move on from them more so than adults. But with adults I don't see as many people fully recovering their ability to tolerate eggs and dairy if they haven't been able to tolerate them at all, although there are some shades of gray there. For example, if somebody is lactose intolerant rather than intolerant to the proteins and dairy, there are some studies that suggest that consuming fermented dairy can actually restore lactose tolerance, and I've seen that with some patients. I'm qualifying everything I say, which can be irritating, but that's really how it is in clinical practice and working with patients. Everybody is different and everybody responds in a different way, and so it's really hard to make general statements about this stuff without providing those qualifications.

Dietary changes alone are often not enough

Okay, so let's get back to this framework we're looking at here where we're talking about step one of removing triggers, and we're talking about dietary triggers, and that in some cases, removing these dietary triggers can be enough to heal and even lead to being able to eat some of those same foods that were removed in order to heal in the first place. That may happen in some cases, but in many cases I found that diet, although it's really important, isn't enough on its own to resolve a problem. We have to start looking at other things that could trigger and exacerbate an immune response, and these include:

Gut issues like SIBO, dysbiosis, intestinal permeability, disruptive gut microbiome

Stress, which I think is absolutely huge with autoimmune disease. I think it's the elephant in the room that’s often not addressed despite the fact that there are many, many studies showing that stress is a common trigger across every single autoimmune disease that we know about, and I've just seen that be such a huge factor in all of my patients with autoimmune disease.

Sleep and physical activity—not enough or too much

Lack of social support

I think another really key factor in autoimmune disease, the role of environmental toxins like heavy metals, mold, etc., infections like latent viral infections or tick-borne illnesses like Lyme or Babesia, Bartonella, intracellular infections

Methylation issues, mitochondrial issues, etc.

All of these things can trigger or exacerbate immune dysfunction, and some of these things can be explored and regulated without any testing, such as the sleep and stress management, physical activity, social support, but others will require some testing, particularly the gut issues, screening for environmental toxins and infections, methylation and mitochondrial issues. This, as you can gather, there's quite a bit of work that goes into this, and in some cases it will probably need to be done with someone, a functional medicine specialist who knows how to do this kind of testing, and it can take months or even longer. This is why our conventional medical model, which is really geared towards single patient, single disease, single treatment and you're done, it doesn't really work that well in this world of complex chronic illness that we live in. This exploration will often take some time and often requires some testing, and in some cases, if you just remove all of the triggers and you address all these things that can exacerbate immune dysfunction, that will be enough to restore normal immune function.

Regulating and balancing the immune system

But in other cases, you have to go onto step two, which is taking specific actions to regulate and balance the immune system. This includes relatively simple things like optimizing vitamin D levels, optimizing glutathione status, optimizing short-chain fatty acid production, particularly butyrate, which has an immunoregulatory anti-inflammatory role, considering more advanced nutritional interventions like therapeutic fasting, which has been shown to have an immunoregulatory effect, and some really interesting recent studies by Dr. Walter Longo out of USC, using botanicals or nutraceuticals that play an immunoregulatory role, and even low doses of medication like low-dose naltrexone, which I have spoken about before for immune tolerance and regulation. These things can play a really vital role in helping to get the immune system back into that range of tolerance from where it's easier to maintain itself in that range.

Reintroducing foods successfully

What I can tell you is that when a more comprehensive two-step approach is used like that, removing the triggers and then taking specific actions to regulate the immune system, many people are eventually able to reintroduce foods successfully in their diet. But that said, some sensitivities in some foods often persist. Let's take someone who is on AIP, and they have to be very strict, the most typical response that I see is after a comprehensive functional medicine protocol where we explore all of these triggers and we do things to regulate the immune system, maybe they're able to start eating some dairy products and nightshades, but eggs just continue to be off the table, or maybe they're able to tolerate eggs and nightshades but they just never recover their ability to eat dairy. Or let's take someone who's been on a low-fat diet to prevent recurrence of SIBO. Once we address the SIBO and then perhaps we find that they've got an underlying mercury toxicity that is probably was causing their SIBO to recur over and over again and we address the mercury toxicity and their SIBO kind of resolves once and for all, that person might typically be able to start eating FODMAPs in fruits. Maybe they're fine with the higher fructose. Maybe they're fine with sugar alcohols. Maybe they're fine with most classes of FODMAPs, but they just never really recover an ability to eat a lot of onions and garlic, particularly raw onions, and those just still trigger them despite feeling better in every other way and having addressed all of the issues that have been identified. That's just the lingering effect for that person. That is probably the most typical response.

How do we define health?

If we take a step back and think about this a little bit further, it leads us to interesting questions, which are: What is the goal of treatment? What is health? What are we actually hoping to achieve? In some cases, I see patients who quite understandably have a memory of what it was like to feel really really good, the last time they felt just perfect and had no complaints, and maybe this was in their early 20s or something like that and they really have it in their minds that they want to get back to that particular feeling and now they're 35 or 40. The reality is, in many cases, it may not be possible to return to that exact feeling that somebody had 15 years ago or 20 years ago, the last time they remember feeling perfectly well because the body changes over time and there are some changes that we have considerable control over, and there are some changes that we have less control over, particularly if there was an infection or an accident or something that had a profound impact on the body. We know that many autoimmune diseases are triggered by viral infections or other infections, for example, and once that process of autoimmunity gets going, it can be managed very effectively without drugs, with diet and changes and this whole process that we're talking about. But in many, if not most, cases, that doesn't mean that the condition will be completely cured. That person may always produce some antibodies to whatever tissue they started producing them to, and if we remove the triggers and take specific steps to regulate the immune system, that person may be able to live symptom free or mostly symptom free, but they may never return to that feeling that they had prior to the infection and the autoimmune disease. They may never be able to eat some of the foods that they were able to eat prior to that infection or autoimmune disease, and they may reach a new level, a new place of balance in equilibrium and homeostasis that's possible, given circumstances and the state of their body at that particular point in time rather than going back to some idea of our memory of the way things were 15 or 20 years ago. For me, this is a really interesting question. I've written about it before and talked about it before. What is health really? How do we define it? Do we define it as the absence of symptoms? That can be problematic as a definition, of course, because it’s the absence of symptoms when and in what circumstances. Is there an absence of symptoms when we eat whatever we want? Or does it mean an absence of symptoms when we eat a specific diet? Or does it mean an absence of symptoms when we mostly follow a specific diet but sometimes go off the reservation a little bit somewhere in between? It gets tricky if you use the absence of symptoms as a definition.

The ability to live your dreams

I have long argued for a more inclusive definition of health that comes from Moshe Feldenkrais, who is the creator of the Feldenkrais Method that you might be familiar with. It's a pretty amazing method of reprogramming the nervous system, body-based intervention, and his definition of health is the ability to live your dreams. I find that to be at the very least provocative and a great topic for discussion because it doesn't refer to anything at all in terms of symptoms, energy levels, pain or anything like that, a lot of the things that most people would use to define health. It simply refers to the ability to live your dreams. When you think about it that way, someone that has perfect physical health, if that exists, it's hard to even quantify what that would be, but if we think about it as a spectrum where on the left is perfect and on the right is death, maybe they're closer to the perfect health side. But let's say that person is miserable, they have terrible relationships, they are in a working a job that they hate and they're just really unhappy in their life. Is that person healthy? Versus perhaps somebody who has an autoimmune disease maybe they have Hashimoto's or rheumatoid arthritis and maybe they are on a fairly restricted diet, but they take really good care of themselves. They have really positive relationships. They are doing work that's meaningful to them. Perhaps they're helping other people with a similar condition to recover. They wake up feeling excited and happy to face the day, and sure, maybe there are times during the day where they don't feel like they have quite as much energy as they would like to have, or they have some pain that flares up occasionally, especially if they're exposed to foods they don’t typically eat, but overall they're living a meaningful, rewarding, and fulfilling life. Who is healthy? Is that first person with that perfect physical health but everything else falling apart healthy? Or is that second person who has some physical challenges but still really living their dreams healthy? I think you know what my answer would be, but I encourage you to think of your own answer because the answer to the question “What is health?” really provides an important context and framework through which we interpret our experience. I think that is really important and something that's often overlooked for anybody that's dealing with chronic illness. How we hold ourselves in that place when we have chronic illness, whether we see ourselves as somebody that is fundamentally healthy but dealing with some physical challenges or whether we see ourselves as someone that is broken, sick, ill, and it is a person that has a chronic disease can really make all the difference in the world in terms of how we relate to ourselves and the world around us. I think it's a very, very important thing to consider and look at for anybody that's dealing with ongoing symptoms. Okay, so in summary here, I think elimination diets are often an important part of the treatment, but they're often not the only important thing to look at. In my practice with patients, we go beyond and look at that two-step framework of removing triggers that provoke or exacerbate immune response and then taking specific steps to regulate the immune system if necessary after that.

The downsides of lengthy dietary restriction

The other thing I want to mention before we finish is that I am definitely wary of too much dietary restriction for too long, and there are a few reasons for that. One big one concerns about nutrient deficiency. As I mentioned in the beginning of the show, I advocate eating the broadest diet within the Paleo type of template as possible because that will expose us to the widest range of nutrients and that's very important, of course, for health. But there are also other issues that can happen with diet that’s really super-restricted, like social isolation, not having enough fun or play, not being able to go out and enjoy dinner or meals with friends. And as I mentioned earlier, that kind of stress and social isolation, I think, is a major factor in autoimmune disease and also just with chronic disease in general. I have many, many stories of patients with whom I have gone through the entire process, the functional medicine process, doing all the labs, doing the diet restriction, identifying and addressing triggers, regulating immune system. And ultimately, the thing that made the biggest difference for those patients was not any of what I just described but actually turning their attention to their social environment, actually loosening some of the restriction on their diet, making sure they're spending more time with friends and getting support that they need, making sure they have more fun and pleasure in their lives, getting a regular massage, taking a hot bath walking on the beach, spending time in nature, developing some deeper friendships of people where they can share what's going on in their life. A lot of times these things can seem less tangible. They can seem less important. We all kind of pay lip service and tend to think that more tangible things like taking supplements or medications or making dietary changes will have a bigger impact. But the reality is, when you look at the research, a lot of these less tangible things actually can have a greater impact on quality of life and even symptoms in people who are dealing with autoimmune disease, and I have definitely found that to be true in my work with patients, and this is a growing focus. I hope that was helpful, Mikaela, lots of information there. I hope you can make sense of that and it helps you and others who are listening in some way, and please do keep sending in your questions to http://ift.tt/1DErq19. Even though I'm not able to answer all of them, they help me understand what you're thinking and what you want to know about and they inform my ideas for blog posts in addition to podcasts and other content that we're developing, so please do keep sending in your questions. Enjoy your weekend and I'll talk to you soon. Take care.

Source: http://chriskresser.com June 02, 2017 at 02:43AM

#paleo #recipe #food #delicious #healthy #yum #diet

2 notes · View notes

noonachronicles · 8 years

Text

Somebody Else

Kang Daesung x Reader

Word Count: 3.2k

Warnings: Language, Smut

Authors Note: Req for Daesung low key staying friends with his ex so that he can get her back. a/n - Okay, but honestly, I don’t know how to write him as anything but a sweet cupcake because my brain doesn’t comprehend badboy!Dae. I…idk. I tried.

“What about next Thursday?” She asked scrolling through the calendar on her phone.

“Dome tour in Japan that weekend.” He said rubbing his sleepy eyes, “What about Friday, two weeks from now?”

“That’s the weekend I’m going to Greece for my cousin’s wedding. You said you wouldn’t be able to come with me because you’ll be in Beijing.”

“Shit.” He muttered letting his head over the back of the chair. “That’s right. I’m shooting a commercial.”

“Dae,” she sighed, seeing how tired and uninterested he obviously was. “I know you’ve been so busy and you’re tired but this is really important to me. We need to find a date that works for both of us.”

“Do we?” He asked with a yawn, “Do we need to?”

“It’s our anniversary dinner.”

“We’ve been trying to set this dinner up for a month now. At this rate it will take a whole other month and we’ll have a new anniversary to celebrate.”

“So we should just forget about this one?” She said clearly agitated.

“I’m not going to argue with you about this dinner again. I refuse to. It would be easier to break up at this point.”

“Wow.” She whispered more to herself.

“Jagi,” he said lifting his head to see her eyes rimmed with tears, “I didn’t mean that. You know I didn’t.”

“Didn’t you? It’s not the first time you’ve suggested we break up.” She sniffed and wiped a few stray tears from her cheeks.

“I just mean, you’re always stressed trying to plan dates for us that we can’t even enjoy the little time we get to spend together. We’re just too busy right now.” He was tired and he knew he shouldn’t be having this conversation.

“You’re right, Daesung. You’re totally right. What’s the past three years to either of us when this month, it’s just too hard. Let’s just give up.”

He was irritated because he’d been overworked trying to finish his latest solo album. He’d had 8 hours of sleep in three days. It wasn’t her. It was never her that made him this way but he couldn’t help himself from projecting his irritation onto her, mostly because she seemed to be the only one that could take it.

“I love you. You know I love you, but I can’t argue about this anymore. We’re just wasting time. We just wasted thirty minutes arguing about spending time together when we’re meant to be spending time together. What sense does it make?”

She finally hit her limit, “Can’t you see how important this is to me? Don’t you get it? I support you as much as I can, whenever I can, no matter what it is, and all I want is your support in this and I can’t get it.”

“I support you.”

“No, you don’t!” She screamed with frustration. “And that’s fine Daesung. I get it, I really do. You’re Daesung of Big Bang and I feel like I have been more than understanding of that. I need you to be more than that though. I need you to be my Daesung again, because I haven’t seen him in awhile and I miss him.”

“Well, he’s not coming back he doesn’t have the time to.” he sighed.

“Then I don’t have time to sit around and wait for him anymore.” She pushed herself off the and out of the room. In just minutes she was walking out of the apartment and out of his life.

Daesung woke with a start. His heart racing, his chest damp with cold sweat. He hated that dream. He hated that he was always reminded of the worst mistake he ever made.

“I had the dream again.” Daesung said taking a drink from his water glass as he sat across from Seungri.

“They’re getting more frequent.” his dongsaeng commented. “Have you thought about mentioning it to her?”

“Not since the first time.” he admitted, “She said if I brought up stuff like that we couldn’t be friends anymore, that I needed to move on. I can’t lose her as a friend too.”

“I still say tell her. You’re in love with her. You’ve always been in love with her. I’m ninety-two percent sure she still loves you too.”

“I do love her, so I’ll take her in my life at whatever capacity I can have her and right now this is it.”

Seungri rolled his eyes and stood up, “Well your best friend is here for your date.”

Daesung stood up and watched as you smiled your way over. You greeted Seungri first with a hug and a kiss on the cheek and then Daesung with the same. Nothing more. Nothing less. He pulled the chair out for you and pushed you back into the table before sitting down across from you.

“What are you getting?” You asked searching the menu for yourself even though you knew it like the back of your hand at this point and you always got the same thing anyway.

He shrugged watching you look over the menu. He was momentarily overwhelmed by how much he missed you in his life. Your weekly lunch dates were fine, but he wanted more of you. He was always wanting more of you. He took for granted the way your lips curved into a tiny smile when your face was resting. The little hairs that refused to stay behind your ear, no matter how many times you pushed them back.

“Daesung…” he snapped back to the present and saw you staring back at him. “Did you hear me?”

“Chicken, probably.” He answered.

“What?” You said thoroughly confused, “Oh. No, we’re passed that.”

“I’m sorry, jagi, what were you saying?”

“Dae…”

“Sorry, it slipped.” He said grabbing his water glass.

You groaned, “I was saying that I haven’t heard back from him in almost four days. That’s like the sixth guy.”

“What guy?” he asked biting his lip, he knew you’d be mad he wasn’t listening.

You threw your head back dramatically and sighed, “The guy from my date last weekend. I told you about him last Thursday and then we had our date Saturday… “

‘Oh right, right. I remember now. How did the date go?”

“I just told…I thought it went well. We laughed a lot and there wasn’t a really dull moment or anything. I could have maybe really liked him.” You pouted slightly, “What am I going to do? I’ll have to start sleeping with guys on the first date if I’m ever going to get any.”

“Don’t. Don’t do that, that’s not you.” he argued. The conversation paused so that the two of you could order your meals and then you got right back into it.

“Daesung, no one wants to be with me! It’s like after you I’m broken. I haven’t had a single second date in months.”

“You’re not broken. These guys, they’re the ones that are missing out on you, not the other way around.”

“You’re sweet.” You still felt broken. You didn’t understand what you had been doing wrong. You’d had such amazing first dates with the exception of one or two guys who you didn’t mind not meeting with again.

So many nights you laid in bed and tried to think about how you’d won over Daesung, but realized that it was he who had to win over you. You’d met at a friend of a friend of a friend’s birthday party. He was so sweet that night but you knew exactly who he was and you knew you needed more attention than an idol could provide. For reasons you couldn’t understand he was really interested in you though, which made him persistent. He talked you into giving him your number and then talked to you everyday to prove that he could make something work. Somewhere between declining his requests for a date and talking on the phone for hours anyway you’d fallen in love with him.

Then comebacks with the group happened and he started releasing more solo stuff. The relationship got too comfortable. Daesung stopped making the effort to remind you how much he loved you. In return, heart clouded with frustration, you forgot how much you loved him. It had started to become the relationship you had feared it would be in the first place, so you had to leave. You didn’t date for over a year, too crushed by the split to even consider another relationship. Besides the lack of time with each other Daesung was perfect. He was everything you’d ever wanted and needed in a significant other and it killed you that it didn’t work. He had been the one until suddenly he wasn’t.

After lunch he helped you at the door with your coat, like the gentleman he was and left a gentle kiss on your forehead. “Next Thursday? Same time?”

“Yeah,” you nodded and then paused, “Oh, no. I can’t Thursday. I have a date.”

“On a Thursday?” he asked befuddled.

“He’s a bartender so he works weekends. I met him on one of my other failed dates actually. He works at the club a couple blocks from my place that I always asked you to take me to but you never did.” you said poking his ribs.

“I don’t recall.” He smiled, “Well, have fun on your date. Let me know when you’re free again.”

“I always do,” you said planting a kiss on his cheek. “Talk soon, okay?”

He nodded and watched as you walked away, the smile fading from his face with every step.

You gasped as Suho pressed your back against the door of your apartment. His mouth hot and wet against your throat. You turned in his arms to open the door. His hands grabbed onto your hips, his lips moved to your shoulder. It was only with sheer determination that you avoided squealing with delight that this was finally happening. Dinner had been amazing and the two of you had been talking for a couple weeks already anyway, so bringing him home felt like the only appropriate next step.

With the door slamming behind the two of you, you stumbled towards the couch. His fingers were in your jeans before your back even hit the cushion. Your head fell into the pillow and you closed your eyes, the smile on your face reflecting your total state of bliss. Then he stopped.

“Who is that?” he asked looking over the arm of the couch to the bookshelf. You lifted your head and peered over at it. “In the picture, who is that?”

“Uh, some friends.” you said eyeing the picture you kept of yourself and Big Bang in Hawaii.

“They look kind of familiar.”

“It’s Big Bang.” you sighed settling back down onto the pillow and moving your hands to unbutton his shirt so that he might get the idea.

“Seems pretty friendly, not like…a fan meet or anything.”

You sighed again, you had an idea of where this night was going. “I used to date Daesung.”

“Which one is that?” he asked stilling eyeing the picture.

“The one with the bangs and the overwhelming smile.” you admitted.

Suddenly Suho was pushing himself off of you and buttoning his jeans back up. “I can’t do this.”

“What? Why not?” you whined, you didn’t care that you were whining. He was not going to get away with blue balling you.

“I can’t compete with that guy.” he said as he buttoned his shirt, you actually pouted as his chest disappeared from view.

“I don’t want you to compete with him! Even if this was a competition, I like you for you and I broke up with him for being him, so I mean, technically you’re in the lead anyway.”

“That’s not what I mean.” he said looking at you with something that definitely resembled pity. “That guy, Daesung, he’s in love with you. It’s not that I couldn’t compete with him, it’s that I don’t want to.”

“I don’t …understand.”

“I met him. He’s amazing and he loves you more than any man I have ever met has ever loved any woman. I’m rooting for him. I want you to be with him. I didn’t know it was you until now, obviously, but now that I do… I’m sorry. I just can’t.” Suho apologized and then left you confused on the couch.

Daesung had been asleep when the pounding started on the door. He didn’t bother with a shirt because he didn’t intend on opening it, he was only going to look to see who it was and then he was going to call the cops since it was one in the morning. His hair fell into his sleepy eyes as he made his way down the hall. He squinted, only half awake, through the peephole and was more than surprised to see you. As much as the two of you had remained friends you hadn’t been back to his place since you came to pick up your things.

“Y/N,” he mumbled as you pushed yourself through the door as soon as you heard him unlock it. “Are you okay?”

“It was you.” you’d been crying and you were also drunk, and those two things were definitely related.

“What was me?”

“You’ve been sabotaging me!” You screamed obviously furious. “Did you think I wouldn’t figure it out?”

“How?”

“I called them, Dae, all of them and they all said the same exact thing. How could you do this to me?”

“I didn’t mean to hurt you…I just wanted them to know how important you are.”

“Tell me.” You said crossing your arms over your chest.

“Tell you what?”

“The sob story you told Suho and all the others. I have to know what you could have possibly said to them to make them actually root for you because right now I’m at a loss.”

“I told them there was a girl that I loved. A girl that had been so good to me, that lifted me up whenever I felt down and even when I didn’t just because she was that amazing of a human, just because she cared enough to do it. I told them that I had made a huge mistake and had taken her for granted. That I never lifted her up the way she did for me. That I hurt her and that I would spend the rest of my life making it up to her. I told them that even if I was only her friend, I would be the very best friend. That I would make sure that she was with someone who deserved her and treated her better than I ever could. I told them-”

Wrapping your arms around his neck you pulled his thick bottom lip between yours. Your hands slipped up his neck into his hair as the kiss deepened. His arms were quick to pick you up. Your legs hooking around his waist. You clung to him desperately as he walked you back to his room.

“I want you back,” he said once you’d pulled away from him enough for him to speak.

“Right now I just want you…” you said honestly, “Can you give me that and then we can figure out the rest after?”

“I…”

“Daesung, you cockblocked me all over this city. I want you to fuck me. I feel like you maybe owe me that much.”

He laughed and threw you onto his bed. “If that’s what you want. Take off your pants.”

You shimmed out of your jeans faster than you had ever before in your life. Daesung stepped between your legs and climbed onto the bed. His fingers teased the edges of your lace panties.

“Were these for Suho?” he asked.

“They’re for you now.” you answered, licking your lips.

“Shirt off.”

“You’re being very demanding for someone who should be trying to get back into my good graces.” You said dragging your shirt over your head.

He pulled your panties down your thighs and past your ankles. After you’d thrown your shirt to the ground and looked back at him he pressed the moist fabric between your lips. Your eyes shot up in an enthusiastic surprise. Daesung preferred to make love but he knew you liked to fuck and he was going to give you exactly what you asked for.

Without another word he sucked your already pert nipple into his mouth and you gasped, your panties falling down your chin as your mouth opened. His hand moved between your thighs and gently stroked your slick folds. His tongue dragged across your chest as he sucked the other nipple between his lips, letting his tongue tease it. He flicked your clit nonchalantly and you covered your face with your hands. He knew you so well, he knew everything that would make you go insane with pleasure.

“Please…please. Please. Please.” You whispered into your palms. You could feel his lips curve into a smile against the soft skin of your breasts, and he slipped his fingers inside of you.

His fingers pressed gently against your walls as you groaned. He could probably get you off just like this it get so good after months of nothing but your own devices. Loose tears slipped from the corners of your eyes as you steadied your breathing.

“You’re so tight, jagi…” he mumbled against your skin.

“I don’t want to talk about why I’m so tight.” Every inch of your skin felt electric. Even his hair brushing against your chest was driving you over the edge.

“Stop!” you gasped and he pulled back immediately looking at you with concern. “Fuck me, really fuck me now.”

You watched as he got up on his knees, his dick at full attention. You propped yourself up on your elbows and waited patiently for him. There was a mutual groan as he slipped himself inside of you. Him from the sheer tightness of your sex surrounding him and you from the instant satisfaction you received as he filled you completely.

“Oh, Dae.” you panted as he eased into you and then back out, “This is…you are…”

He sped up and you couldn’t hold on any longer. Collapsing into the pillow behind your head you ran your hands over his taut arms and back. He dragged his tongue over your elongated neck, groaning at the taste of the salt on your skin.

“I’m gonna cum,” you gasped tightening around him. A small hiss escaped through his teeth but he persevered. He only went deeper and harder wanting to bring you what you asked for. Your nails dug into the skin just above his hips trying to pull him closer as you came.

The tight pulsing of your orgasm milked him of his own. You watched as his brow furrowed and his trembling lips parted. There was something heavenly about his o face. His head dropped, face pressed against your shoulder as he caught his breath.

“I do love you.” You said quietly.

“Don’t just say it because I can make you cum.” He panted lightly.

“I’m not. I never stopped. That’s why I always pushed you away. I knew if you tried, I’d be back here.”

“What are you saying?” He asked lifting his head, his bangs stuck to his forehead with sweat.

“If we…” you took a deep breath, “tried again…would we still have our Thursday lunches?”

He stared into your eyes, reading your soul. “Every week.”

“Okay.”

He smiled until you could see more of his teeth than his eyes, “Okay.”

#daesung scenario #daesung smut #big bang scenarios #big bang smut #kpop smut #kpop scenarios #request #completed request

210 notes · View notes