#...and sure transphobia can look like that. but that isn't the whole of it and pretending it is is - at this point - victim-blaming us...

[uncanny-tranny]

Don't be afraid of being the trans person who's "the reason transphobia exists." It's genuinely so infuriating how people weaponize the existence transphobia to accuse people (even facetiously/as a joke!) of being the genesis of it.

[sergle]

(re: sssniperwolf and jacksfilms) It's laughable that she escalated it that hard. Don't get me wrong, I'm pretty sure stalking him like that is illegal and it's terrifying regardless, but Jack said in a stream (can't remember which one) that he wasn't about bringing up past controversies of hers or cancelling. And now she shows up outside his house (wtf!!!). Like he was willing to only call her out for stealing and freebooting but she's gone and stalked him and Jack doesn't seem like the type of guy to take that shit. Actual WTF moment from her part. wild

omg long post below bc apparently I have opinions: YES!! THAT'S WHAT'S SO INCREDIBLE ABOUT THIS... Jack has been genuinely diligent about keeping things on-topic in his streams, and hasn't brought up any of her other Stuff, or anything Personal. Despite the fact that she kickstarted the whole thing by making it INCREDIBLY personal and attacking his physical appearance... His goal has been to call out and bring attention to content theft, and he's stuck with it. Dude's also cared about this for years, and she's not the first content thief he's criticized. He just hates the way that freebooting has become so accepted-- to the point where youtube praised her for "coming up with such creative video ideas"? Hey! Ew! Dude wasn't trying to get her cancelled though, there was no smear campaign of her character. He's been rallying to get her to CREDIT the creators that she relies on for all of her content. It would set a precedent for all other "react" channels on the platform for one of the biggest channels on youtube to actually give credit where credit is due. Or, god forbid, get permission first? It's not hard. It's already done the job of making some other people who do "react content" self-analyze whether or not their content is transformative, and to maybe care about crediting the creators they rely on for their genre to work. There is a way to make this kind of video that isn't so slimy. And making fun of her lackluster-at-best reactions is so far from even being a big deal. Bc she literally does just sit there and say nothing. Plus, his goal has a clear End built into it: if she started shouting out the creators she takes content from, and put links directly to their pages in her video descriptions, the job would be done! That's what he's asking her to do. Real bare minimum stuff. It legit would have been easy to steer away from the content theft and to also talk about her history of lying to her audience! her ghosting a dying kid with cancer who was a big fan of hers! the fact that she's been arrested for armed robbery! her history of transphobia! He would also get more clicks that way, which is what she claims is his sole goal- to get more clicks. I'll bring it up though! She's been a terrible person the whole time, and has kept a steady course of manipulating her audience of young children and/or, let's be completely honest, simps- into thinking that she's a Wholesome creator. (And now, into thinking she's an innocent victim.) All of the actual effort put in by her has gone toward optics, not the content she puts out. A carefully constructed online persona, for one, but also literal appearances. Jack totally can't say this, bc she already went off the handle and said the only reason he doesn't like her is bc he Hates To See A Woman Be Successful. But I can! That was a cheap shot for her to use that argument when, for once, it's not applicable! Much the opposite, even! Dudes online wouldn't go to bat for her if she didn't look the way she does. And it weakens any case she'd have against him by making baseless claims like that. She banks hugely on being an attractive woman to get her clicks/following. A massive amount of effort is put into her appearance. The makeup, the lip fillers, putting her hair in little pigtails, the chokers and tube tops, the big non-prescription Nerd Glasses, the thumbnails where she has her mouth open in That Expression?

I don't even have to say anything. But making a weird facial expression and putting your hair in pigtails aren't moral failings. Showing up at someone's real life home (whose address you shouldn't even have access to), filming the front of their house at night, doxxing them to your audience of millions of people? Because you were mad at them online? That is fully scary! Yeah girl I'm pretty sure that Jack can press charges! There is absolutely no way to take the moral highground now that she's literally stalked him, and doxxed his home. She tried to goad him and Erin (Jack's wife) out of the house, also, which creeps me out even more-- because what was she planning to do? The fact that she's been arrested for violent crime before does pop into my mind! lmao! Jack was streaming a game at the time that she was outside his home, and these clips of him, his friends, and Erin reacting in real time to what is genuinely a scary situation have been taken down in case he needs to use them in legal action. Shit is legitimately serious!

[euniexenoblade]

re: egg discourse

i thought it was just people saying that specifically making jokes about someone being trans but not knowing it yet can be kinda invalidating and sometimes traumatic. are people actually saying you should never tell someone that they might be trans?

i dont really have a side in the debate it just feels like people are willfully misunderstanding eachother and its making my brain hurt

"making jokes about someone being trans but not knowing it yet can be kinda invalidating and sometimes traumatic"

Sure, but it also isn't for a lot of people. And, a lot of people I talk to say egg jokes helped them realize who they were. Though I do think part of this resistance to an egg joke is actually internalized transphobia at points (the idea of being compared to trans people is being treated as degrading in a lot of these people's arguments) the truth of the matter is different people need and want different things. Me making eggs jokes with my friends is not your friend group.

This is why the recurring complaint of our side is it's never egg jokes can make people uncomfortable, 'make sure your friends are cool with them before just doing them,' it's always complaining about trans women forcing cis men to be women or trans women being "transvestigators" or "similar to Christian missionaries." People who are uncomfortable with egg jokes are always projecting their discomfort onto other people, other friend groups, and portray harmless fun between friends as something abusive.

Like for example,

this is a projection. the egg jokes people are talking about happen among friends and stuff, but this person is doing a whole "never make egg jokes because people did it about me and made me feel bad" (oh woe is you, people thought you might be transgender, how disgusting to be a tranny). The majority of egg jokes are not about random ass people, it's within friend groups. And, if you don't like your friends saying them, tell them to stop. If they don't? Then stop being their friends. Also from that post

The underwater filter butchered that. I know you can't read it but I wanted to post it cuz fucking look at that. What the hell. Anyways,

This opposition to egg joke people always talk about strangers. As if we're walking up to random people on the street and making egg jokes about them. It's mostly contained to friend groups. This is just an inaccurate portrayal of what's actually being discussed, and I'm sure the op will be like "I'm talking about my experience!" but OP openly admitted that this rant was relevant to a random blogger complaining about an egg tweet a woman made about her own friend group that neither this OP or that blogger are part of. They are actually dictating how strangers are allowed to act and identify with this, not the egg jokesters.

Yeah, once and a while you get shit like "Aaron Bushnell seems transfem" which was a completely innocuous convo that no one would have seen if well known transmisogynists who accuse random trans women of pedophilia like three times a year hadn't found the post. It was a trans woman seeing herself in someone important in history, and even if someone said something inappropriate, the backlash was undeserved. Yall say embarrassing shit all the time and no one's running you off the web site for it.

I'm sorry this person and others seem to have a bad time with egg jokes (though most of the time, what they describe isn't egg jokes but that's a whole other thing), but their few experiences can not be used to determine a blanket response to something so many people actually do enjoy and find useful. I'm especially not gonna take a cis person's opinions on egg jokes seriously (since so many have seemed to gotten involved and think their opinion on this matters).

"are people actually saying you should never tell someone that they might be trans?"

Yes! That's like, the entire underlying premise of this! Like, 100% this is the backbone of every anti-egg joke argument. That's the entire concept of "egg prime directive." And, it's overwhelmingly weaponized against trying to help transfems realize themselves sooner than they would. From the aforementioned Bushnell drama, to the polls where a shit ton of transmascs voted it was ok to tell an eggy friend they might be a trans man but NOT ok to tell an eggy friend they might be a trans woman, to the newest drama where chongoblog whined about a random trans woman on twitter making egg jokes about her friend (which it was later revealed chongoblog misrepresented the tweet), the anti egg joke committee / "You can't tell anyone they're trans!!!" crew are always wielding this ideology against transfems / trans women but practically never against transmascs.

This is why it's constantly said that these posts and arguments are transmisogynistic in nature. "I'm a trans woman and I say eggs jokes are bad, so it can't be transmisogynistic you're just using that as a shield!" That's great but 1) maybe read between the lines, or read the criticisms you're clearly ignoring and maybe you'll see these people don't respect you 2) the whole "using transmisogyny as a shield" is like, classic transmisogyny at this point. We've been hearing that from anti-feminists, cryptoterfs, and trans woman hating google doc writers for a few years now and 3) you being complicit doesn't mean we gotta care about what you say.

"it just feels like people are willfully misunderstanding eachother and its making my brain hurt"

Oh, I'm sure this is absolutely the case. The problem is a bunch of transphobes are really who spurred a lot of this drama up earlier this year and instead of people thinking "oh these people have bad intentions I shouldn't boost this" they instead were like "Yeah! I don't like egg jokes!" and now we have to deal with trans women making egg jokes (normal, harmless, pro-trans and literally want to help trans people) being compared to transvestigators (a literal anti-trans hate group thing). The issue is people aren't treating us as people, and thus it gets returned in kind.

What's the answer to this? Mutual understanding that "some people need to be told they're trans," "some people don't respond well to being told who they are," "egg jokes can help people and be a fun joke for friends," and "some people are uncomfortable with egg jokes" can all coexist. But, honestly, I don't think we'll ever get there.

[arklayraven]

I can't sleep rn while this annoyed/pissed off. So time to remind people OM is canonly a queer game as hell and to tell the queerphobes and transphobes to FUCK OFF. (Seriously, why are you following me if you hate queer and trans people/characters? Get out of here.)

This is a official post by OM devs over the creation of OM and their MC. Read the left section well.

"OM isn't a queer game" many like to say.

The game, writers and characters beg to differ.

From someone kind who felt they knew all about the game and characters well, even tho they played it themselves.

Let's go back to that official post by Solmare about OM and this section specifically.

Hope you read that well, and the person(and many who think/believe this) learns how damn wrong they are.

Also...God don't bring up my Asmo and act like you know all about him. Another thing from that kind person.

Firstly, canonly none of the characters have set labels. But they are all in fact canonly queer. Whether you like to believe/accept this or not. It's fact, was fact from day one.

Asmodeus is the most openly proud queer boy in the series, and gender nonconforming too at that, even if he uses only he/him pronouns(but he's been shown to be fine being called princess, queen, etc. So he's clearly open to all gendered/less pronouns/labels I feel).

He drips of gender fluidity, and going against gender presentation norms(Babe has presented so fem and nonconforming for awhile now. Learn to look at him and appreciate him better). So take note of all of that, and never say again he's not queer, because that's a damn fucking lie.

Also I hate how bi is used as default for queerness as a whole for characters who are interested in more than one gender, and wish for the day people stop using it as so. (Use MSPEC or just queer if you wish to sound more inclusive of all possible labels/identities for a canon queer character with no canon label set.)

Second, back to what I said before, ALL THE CHARACTERS IN OM ARE QUEER. If you ship your MC or yourself with them, know that's a canon queer character you're pairing them/yourself up with. And you can't erase their queerness and identity. Especially if it makes you personally feel bothered or crap.

And before you say anything, dating them, as a straight woman, doesn't automatically make them straight now too. They are still queer, but are dating you, who happen to be a straight woman. (stop being damn queerphobic challenge.)

I'm already tired of this crap, so gonna end this now and fast.

OM is a canon queer game, and was made with a MC who is genderless to be inclusive of ALL PLAYERS. This opened the door quickly for men, nonbinary, etc players to enjoy the game too, and be part of the fandom as well. There's as much men and nonbinary players in the series like women are, but only difference is in the fandom mainly. Many people choose to see which fans or MCs are more accepted in the community, and which ones to show more love/attention too.

If you tried to expand your horizons more, you will surely quickly find people who identify as men, nonbinary, etc in the fandom as well. And learn how we're here, always been here, just greatly drowned out or ignored by a vast majority of people just because of who we are. (Lots of people with dislike for MCs who are men, or just plain damn queerphobia and transphobia in the works.)

The more people try to ignore the clear fact men and nonbinary people play OM too. The more easier it is for them say OM and its characters aren't canonly queer, and they can feel special/happy about playing the game. That they want to believe was just made to cater to women only. But in reality it was made to be catered to all players, no matter their gender identity or lack of, and same for romantic/sexual attraction.

Also another thing I forgot to add to put more facts that OM is a queer game to be inclusive of ALL PLAYERS.

Already, the undateables from day one are canonly queer too. If you need to be reminded and stated that as well.

That's pretty much it on this annoying tiring topic.

Enjoy playing OM, the canonly queer game made for ALL PLAYERS. <3

[decolonize-the-everything]

If Americans shouldn't vote for Biden what should they do instead? Vote for trump? Vote third party? Not vote?

(I know most people would probably ask you this in bad faith but I'm just really distraught at the state of politics and keep hearing people say "don't say he's the only option and don't support him" but there's never alternatives given and I don't know what an effective alternative could even be)

I think a good place to start that a lot of people are comfortable with is probably volunteering and petitioning for 3rd parties to make sure they Do have ballot access next year. So that ppl Can vote for someone else next year.

And yes, vote 3rd party this election. Or don't vote at all.

Besides that? Learn some basic defense and join protests. Support encampments and do things leftists say like join a union and organize your own community whether it be your schoolmates, coworkers, or all your friends and their friends.

Y'all see the news right?

Censorship and propaganda are rampant right now, along with transphobia and racism and even Nazis are back. Tensions are high to say the least and everyone is worked up about the election and Israel.

Figure out what you wish someone else would do and then do it. Is that de-arresting protesters? Organizing a bail fund, fighting cops and throwing tear gas back at them when they make things violent?

There's a lot to fight against and even more to fight for. Find what's worth fighting for (to you) and actually start fighting for it. Don't let cops or your principal or boss or anyone else stop you.

I think one of the most important things we can do right now is remind the government and those that serve the government that they won't take our rights so easily. That if they want to silence us then we're gonna make sure it'll hurt more than it'll help. That we can and will fight back.

And that's why it's so vital that we show them we won't settle either. We won't vote for Biden.

We settled for Clinton and look where that got us.

Does it feel like voting for more and more conservative blue candidates actually helped prevent harm? Or does it feel like you were manipulated and lied to?

Gonna be real, it feels like the government is a manipulative abuser and we're all it's gaslit victims who don't want to believe things are that bad just cuz he killed someone else instead of us.

Which is like...it doesn't mean good things for us that our government could do that and we'd rationalize it, you know?

How we want to get out of this fucked up dynamic is up to us. We work, we pay taxes, we listen to the governments rule of law, and still our government won't codify rights, our trans friends are being abused by the government, or it's banning apps with censorship. And the whole time it's telling us to shut up and be grateful it isn't worse.

Abusers never ever tell you that it could be better too. And they don't want you to know that. Cuz then you leave. And if you leave then they can't manipulate and abuse you.

So yeah. They'll shit on us for doing Anything that doesn't result in us staying, for doing anything that results in us choosing our own well being instead of theirs.

But that's what we need to do.

And you need support before you do that. That's what organizing is. It's like calling the besties who hype you up to leave your shitty ex. Except it's a bunch of people agreeing to support each other when they choose to stand up for something. Organizing is making sure there are people watching back and making sure if one of you is harmed or arrested that there'll be someone there to help bail you out.

The more people you have to bail you out, the less you have to worry about being outnumbered, spoken over, or physically stopped with force.

So yeah. Do that.

Organize. I hope I stressed that enough. The people on our front lines need us to be there for them as much we need Them to keep fighting for us.

Also since I'm here: make sure you and your friends don't talk shit about protesters even when they get violent and break shit. It's not abuse when the victim finally hits back at their abuser, it's self defense.

[casualartisanninja]

This was a long time coming.

So, first of all I’m sorry that this took me so long to make, but there was a lot of information to sift through. I’m not planning on coming back to Tumblr in any capacity beyond this but the truth needs to be out there. (And if you're curious about the profile picture/description/etc, I had to dress this blog up a bit so it didn't look like a bot and trigger any algorithms.)

Content warnings for this post: 

Heavily discusses kinks and has screenshots of fetish art

References grooming/pedophilia accusations

References transphobia/harassment accusations

This is going to be an EXTREMELY long post with lots of screenshots, so the rest is under a cut.

Edit: Here is the end of the post so you can read it all at once. https://www.tumblr.com/casualartisanninja/747977941832613888/loose-ends

The incident in Hobqueer’s server

I think a good place to start would be the spark that set off this whole chain reaction. 

I’m not sure how long I’d been in that server for when the NSFW in general incident happened. But one thing’s for sure - I didn’t start the conversation about NSFW topics. Like I mentioned on the Reddit post where someone had found me and started accusing me under my comment on the Janitor.AI post, I saw the people there discussing mpreg and oviposition. I looked at it and thought “wow the rules are a lot more lax than I initially thought!”. Yes, I know, looking back, that should’ve been a huge red flag. I also know that, looking back, I should never talk about NSFW in the general chat- even if everyone else is doing it. “If so-and-so jumped off a cliff” and all. I’m really sorry that I did that, and it was definitely a lesson for me.  But I really wasn’t thinking about that at the time. It wasn’t my intention to hurt anyone, and I especially wouldn’t have done it if I knew minors would be there. I know it wasn’t an 18+ server, and it was just a frankly idiotic move on my part. I just saw “Sniper pregnant” and pictures of the mercs with big bellies, and let my better judgment and reasoning get clouded.  However, the way that they’re portraying this incident is extremely intellectually dishonest. Gabriel failed to mention in his callout post that those minors were looking at and sharing fetish art of the mercs, leaving out most of the context for those. Thankfully one of my friends from Chipspeech (who I’ll leave anonymous) joined the server to check and see if the fetish art was still there. It was. Hobqueer and the moderators never deleted any of the discussion, and worst of all they left the fetish pictures up in full view of everybody. One person, who later admitted to being a minor in a dm, even gave a pretty graphic description of a tentacle hentai/mpreg comic. Be warned, this contains NSFW content. I blurred the names of anybody who isn't mentioned in this post.

I've run out of room for images, so I have to add the rest in another reblog. This will be a very long thread with a lot of images, so please bear with me.

[purplenidoqueen]

not to mention tme/tma is no fucking gender binary, the groups “transfems” and “non transfems; cis men, cis women, trans men, some nonbinary people, etc” is not a binary at all. if you don’t know what the terms mean or aren’t experienced with transfeminism, that’s fine, but don’t act like i hate men because you misunderstood my feminism.

The reblog that garnered these messages can be found here, and part one is here. Sorry if the tone was too sharp; I'm not super comfy playing defense for those who aren't here to defend themselves, but I'm sure as heck willing to do my best. I'd explained at the end of the post that garnered these responses that I am also a trans woman, but I don't mind that you missed it; I just feel that said experience is something to keep in mind.

Since this was split into two messages I'll have to respond in two parts, so bear with me. While I don't have much of an audience, it's important to me to head this off, so I'd appreciate it if anyone who reads this and agrees with my stances here also walks away with the message of patience and solidarity, and doesn't send messages her way for whatever reason. This isn't a callout and I don't believe in callouts; this is just how the inbox function works.

Anyway! Second:

"If you don't know what the terms mean"… I understand that some find comfort in the terms, but "transmisogyny exempt" and "transmisogyny affected" are years old and have gone through a number of phases. While they were well-intentioned at first, TMA and TME swiftly changed from inclusive terms to exclusive ones, used not only by trans women to exclude others from our struggle, but by others to exclude us from their own struggles. In many ways they are bullshit terms adopted and adapted by terfs and their allies, and when I say they are used to reinforce the gender binary, I mean it. They've been used at length to pit trans men, trans mascs, and AFAB nonbinary folk against us in an attempt to make detransition look more practical.

As for whether TMA/TME has any weight: Do you understand how many cis women have been hurt by transmisogyny? You can find stories about women ranging from Michelle Obama and Lady Gaga to Marie MacGowan, an eighty-six-year-old Irish cis woman with dementia who was assaulted and beaten by a transphobe for over forty minutes straight. Even men and mascs, cis or trans, can be hit by forms of transmisogyny if they don't meet the standards of masculinity to which society holds them! Trans men are routinely mistaken to be trans women and attacked by people who misunderstand the situation because only trans women have the spotlight in this patriarchal society! That's not to mention the complexities of growing up intersex, whether or not their lives were changed without their consent by "corrective" surgeries as infants. The binary of "affected" or "exempt" is too tidy to have much use. Fear-based hatred is too complicated.

Transmisogyny is a form of transphobia, which is at its root a form of homophobia, and we have to understand that segregating each other's experiences into exclusionary groups rather than inclusive ones is incredibly unproductive -- and exactly what the terfs, traditionalists, and other fascists are trying to enforce.

On the subject of transphobia as a whole vs transmisogyny, I was trying not to bring this up, but it's the only way I can think of to boil down my point in a way that matters. This is the post that convinced me to respond, in the hopes of sharing some thoughts and perspective.

Okay. This is important for one main reason: Why do you think it would be bizarre or noteworthy for trans men to react negatively to this tweet? I get the point of it, but it's phrased so poorly. Surely you can understand -- maybe you've experienced for yourself -- the feeling that arises when you try to live your happiest life as your chosen gender, only for terfs and their allies to say "You only feel like a X because you're a failed Y." Where does that stem from? Where does it lead? "Trans women are just men who are super gay." "Trans men are just women trying to climb the patriarchal ladder." It's disgusting! Maybe that's not a perspective that occurred to you in the moment, but that's why queer folk from all corners of the community should communicate our experiences to each other, isn't it? If your feminism includes seeing trans men "react bizarrely" to something you didn't understand, and giving them the squinty eyes instead of asking why, then it can't truly be feminism, because it can't truly be about equality.

This whole TME/TMA thing reminds me of the transmedicalist discourse, or of a decade ago when in some circles you weren't considered trans enough and "made the rest of us look bad" if you couldn't, or didn't care to, pass. Butch transfems, a cornerstone of the culture, used to get run out of social groups for being "fake women". It's all about finding the weakest link and cutting them out, over and over until the solidarity of a cohesive queer community becomes a more manageable series of dogpiles against smaller and smaller fragments of GSR minorities. Fuck that. None of us is worth sacrificing, not ace nor kinky nor enby nor queer.

It's been a long pair of long responses. Sorry for the wait, and for the attention. In any case, to boil my thoughts down in the least productive way possible:

"Individually we are weak like a single twig, but as a bundle we form a mighty faggot!"

[romanarose]

About a Girl: Chapter 3

Beautiful header by my beloved @not-a-unique-snowflake-blog

Joel Miller x Trans!Fem!Reader (Nickname, Blue)

Summary: Blue surprises Joel by rebuffing everyone advances in favor of him.

Warnings for whole fic, not chapter by chapter: 18+ ONLY!! I cannot warn against everything, but these are major themes. Joel is a lil ignorant but not out of hate. He just doesn't know. He's trying his best. There will be smut. Penetrative sex, all of the anal play, oral. There will be transphobia from other people. Addiction and alcoholism. QUICK child neglect not by Joel but I promise, Sarah is fine and is having a great time in life. Fetishization of women attracted to women by a shitty guy. Will update as needed. Again, this is adult content. Expect adult content.

Immersivity: Reader is transgender, AMAB female, reader has had gotten bottom surgery, not top, and is on hormones. reader has visible hair and a blue streak in hair, but not described. Could be braids, could be natural hair, whatever. Header is for aesthetics only. Reader is about Joel and Tommy's height. Let me know if i miss anything!

AN: FIRST DAY OF PRIDE EVENT!!!

A note on langauge. This is a 90's au, different langauge was used than we know know, words we find offensive now. While no one uses slurs theres langauge used that may not be comfortable. Just remember in the 90s there wasnt such a unified community all over, especially in the south. Blue isn't going to talk the same as say, a new york queer today. I want to remain as most "time period realistic" as i can.

TRANS LIVES MATTER! TRANS YOUTH MATTER! TRANS ELDERLY MATTER! TRANS WOMEN MATTER! TRANS MEN MATTER! NON BINARY TRANS MATTER!

Tommy woke up hungover, just as Tess, Talia, Max and you probably were. 

Joel only had one, but he was up early packing things for Sarah. Jessica didn’t have much as far as clothes and other stuff for a 5 year old, so Joel wanted to make sure she was prepared. It was supposed to rain and she definitely didn’t have rain boots or coat, not enough kids stuff to entertain Sarah inside all weekend. He made sure to pack her barbies, etch-a-scetch, and a few cassette tapes. Sarah wasn’t even up yet when Kayla knocked. 

“Hey Kayla.” Joel tried to be nice and welcomed her into the home they used to share together. 

She smiled at him, said hi to him and Tommy. She must’ve calmed down after last night, as she usually does after a spiral. “Sarah up?”

Joel shook his head, getting a few granola bars Sarah could eat for breakfast. “Naw, I let her stay up a little later with Jessica, you can wake her if you’d like, or you can hang out.” He nodded to the coffee pot. “All yours.”

“Does she know I’m coming?”

“No, she was fast asleep when I got home.”

Kayla grinned. “Great, she’ll love the surprise.” and dashed upstairs.

“She’ll love the surprise.”  Joel muttered to Tommy, not looking away from his task. “But she’d love regular visits she could count on more.” 

Tommy patted his back. “You’re a good man, Joel. I don’t think I’d put up with all that you did.”

But Joel just shook just head. “It’s for Sarah.”

“Most things are.” He looked up from his coffee. “Hey! I’m meeting everyone for brunch, Sex and the City style. Since Sarah’s gonna leave, why don’t you come with us?” Tommy teased Joel with a nudge. “Blue’s gonna be there.”

Joel harshly shushed Tommy, wide-eyed. He looked down the hall to check for Kayla, but heard Sarah squealing mommy up in her room. “C’mon, man, you know how she gets.”

Tommy laughed, “I know, I know!”

But he didn’t really know. Tommy didn’t know about the screaming, the threats to hurt herself, the way she smacked his chest and arms… it wasn’t hard, he was a big guy. He could handle it. It wasn’t abusive, no. He could stop her if he wanted to because he was so much stronger. It was his fault he let it happen so he can’t really complain, can he?

Kayla reappeared with Sarah. “Daddy look! Mommy’s here!”

“I see baby!” Joel feigned enthusiasm. “Mommy’s gonna take you for the weekend, gonna stay the night, isn’t that exciting?”

Sarah was beyond excited. 

Setting her down, Kayla told Sarah to go put on her shoes. To her credit, she’d gotten her dressed already. She spoke to Joel quietly. “Hey, Joel, could I borrow some cash maybe? My um… my tank is almost empty, you know how prices are right now. Fucking Clinton, right?” She chuckled nervously.

Joel wanted to sigh. He saw Tommy looking at him from over his coffee mug. But… he didn’t. Instead, he opened his wallet. And grabbed a $20. “You got food there?”

She shrugged. “Enough.” Joel grabbed another bill and handed the $40 to her. “Thanks, Joel.” She turned to Sarah who had walked up with her shoes on the wrong feet. “You ready, baby?”

Joel said goodbye, hugging and kissing tight. “Be good for mama, okay princess?”

Next, Sarah ran to her uncle, who whispered loudly. ”Be bad, okay squirt?” Joel glared at him, making him carry out the bags for Sarah’s things to the car. 

*

He spent way too long trying to find a nice shirt. In the end, he settled on a green shirt. And his only pair of jeans without holes.

When Joel saw you ride up on a motorcycle, he knew it was all over for him. The way you lit up when your eyes connected with his… fuckign hell. He remembered your eyes when you were on your knees, his cock stretching your mouth… fuck he needed to sit down before he got a hard on.

“Joel!” You run up to hug him, taking him by surprise but he hugs you anyway. Joel likes the way you are very clear about what you want. Joel didn’t have to guess or walk on eggshells. He could want you and know you wanted him too. You took his hand to the table that Talia and Tess are at, not letting go when you both slide into the both.

Everything was going great. Tommy ordered unlimited mimosas, and Joel took one single look at the prices and ordered 2 eggs and toast. And you… Joel learned more and more about you, eating up every bite.

You were a school teacher, elementary english. You loved grunge, the color blue, and horror movies, Halloween being a favorite. Right now, you were horrifying him with a scene from Candyman.

“And then he opens his shirt,” You mimic the actions minus the undress. “And his chest is just like, a cavern of bees! And he kisses her with his mouth full of bees!!”

“Bees?” Joel grimaces, and you laugh, asking if it was too much. Joel loves laughs along; with you, when you laughed, it didn’t feel like it was at him. “Well,” He chuckles. “Maybe a little graphic for brunch.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” You continue with a smirk. “Should we maybe talk about sex, like Sex and the City? Maybe you’d like to fill us in on your latest sexcapades, Miller?”

Joel coughs, choking on his coffee and you pat his back as memories of last night once again popped in.

“I’m-” Cough cough. “I think I’m good there.”

Tommy spoke up, “WELL, since you asked-” Joel told him to shut up, not to talk to a lady like that.

“You let me talk like that around Tess!”

Tess leaned over, her tone teasing. “Joel doesn’t think of me as a lady.”

This led to Joel scrambling to defend himself, which he does, actually! Joel left out the part that if he didn’t see her as a lady he wouldn’t have slept with her all those years ago. Tess is different. Tess is family.

The conversation went on, and Joel noticed how closely you sat next to him while eating your food, your jeans pressed up against his. 

“Frank finally scheduled his knee surgery.” Tess mumbles with a mouth full of waffles. “After harvest, so plenty of time to rest.”

“Why not during harvest?” Talia asks. “You said he doesn’t do farm work.”

Tess stumbled on her words a moment, glancing at Joel before mumbling something about Bill needing to take care of him, even though it was pretty minor.

Joel cut her off. “She's tryna let me save face because I can’t afford a babysitter. Frank has watched Sarah every harvest and planting season since she was born, except the first plant.”

Not meaning to pry but unknowingly waltzing into sensitive territory, you ask why not the first. Joel swallows hard but Tommy answers.

“Because his bitch of an ex was still around.”

“Tommy!” Joel chastises, but Tommy looks bewildered.

“What?! She is, and you know it. She’s-”

But Joel cuts him off. “What she is is none of your business and not the point. I told you we don’t talk like that about women.”

Putting down his silverware, Tommy stared Joel down. Joel knew how Tommy felt about Kayla. “Joel, she was nuts, she turned you into someone I didn’t recognize and she left my niece alone to get f-”

“Enough!” Joel was louder than he meant to be, noticing people around them turning. Heat crept up his neck in embarrassment and shame. He didn’t like snapping at Tommy, but he especially didn’t like raising his voice in front of you. Joel wondered if he scared you, if he lost your trust and ruined everything- He felt your hand on his knee, and when he turned to look at you, he didn’t see fear, just gentle compassion. He spoke quieter now. “I understand how you feel… but that is the mother of my child, and I ask you treat her with respect.”

Tommy opened his mouth to say more, but Tess whispered to knock it off. There was silence for a while as Tommy stewed, eating his giant plate of food, stewing. Tommy’s anger problems were nothing new to Joel, but this stressed reaction Joel was having to it was. Why did his chest feel so tight?

You noticed, because of course you did, and took his hand. “Wanna step outside?” You whispered, but Joel shook his head.

“”M Alright, thanks.”

From across the booth, Tess, Talia and Tommy all talked while you and him sat on your own side. As you chatted, it felt like you were in your own world. You had a tendency to help him forget everything else. 

“I think it’s so neat y’all know an older gay couple, ya know?”

He didn’t. “Howdya mean?”

You took a bite of toast. “Well, you don’t see that much. We’re just now starting to get to a point people can really come out. Then the AIDS crisis took so many…” You shake your head. “I just think when I was a gay teen, how much it would have meant to me to see a future that wasn’t about hate crimes and death, you know?”

Oh. Gay? Were you a lesbian? No, no had blown him, quite enthusiastically… Maybe you were just trying something new? Was that offensive to think? Goddammit, Joel, what is wrong with you? “Oh, are you…” He trailed off.

You laugh a little. Joel hadn’t realized the three others had gone silent, watching what was happening unfold. “Gay? Well, I guess not anymore.”

Joel was confused. “Did it… go away?” He’d been told some people grew out of it, like a phase, or that some people went to therapy to change…

You laugh again, but slightly nervous. “No… I just mean, like, I transitioned so… now I’m a woman, so it’s not gay to be attracted to men…”

Joel blinked. Transitioned? What did that mean… 

You turn to Tommy. “I thought you’d told him?”

“Told me what?”

Tommy shook his head. “Hey I may be stupid, but I know not to out someone.”

Tess confirmed she hadn’t said anything and Talia looked intensely uncomfortable, asking you if you wanted to go.

“Joel… you do know I used to be a man, right?”

A flash of warmth covered his skin, eyes burning and chest tighter. He had, of course, heard of people like that… but he didn’t know the first thing about it. Did that mean you were a guy doing dress up? Was this drag? Or transvestite, is that the term? Most of all, he was confused, because he liked you. Was he gay?

“Joel?” Your voice breaking him out of his spiral. It was small, meek. Unlike anything he’d heard from you before. “Can we talk outside?”

*

You stood a few feet away from him, wringing your hands. He hated how you were shaking.

“Can you just…” He sighed, stuffing his hands in his pockets. “I'm gonna be real honest Blue, I don’t really know what you’re talk’n about. Can you just… Tell me? Is this like a transexual thing?”

Despite the tension, you give a small laugh. “I guess people used to call it that. Or transvestite. I don’t really know if there's a difference… I think people call a lot of thing under the same umbrella, like cross dressing…”

“Is that…” He swallows. “That's what you’re do’n? You a man that likes women’s clothes?”

You shake your head vigorously. “No, no that’s not it… at least to me, I guess. Some people say that’s all I am but… I don’t think so.”

“”Please.” Joel begs, a slight huff of a laugh. “I’m just an old farmer, I ain’t never left this town, no college, no life experience. I practically raise Tommy and when he was finally grown, I had my daughter so I just…” He sighs, heavily. He’s very confused, but he doesn’t want you to think he’s disgusted or hateful. “Please just explain it so I can understand.”

You nod, looking a little hopeful. “I was born a boy, but I never felt like one. My whole life, it just felt… wrong. I can’t really explain it, but it's just this… this knowledge inside myself that my body was wrong, a gut feeling…”

A slight breeze rustled his shirt, blowing your hair around and drawing his eyes to the blue.

“So… you’re a woman?”

Once again, you nod, crossing your arms over your chest. Joel didn’t know if that was from nerves or the fall beginning to settle in. “I am. Yeah.” You take a deep breath, and exhale in a ramble of words as your eyes plead to him. “Joel I’m really sorry! I thought, I thought you knew! I met Tommy a few times with Talia and it came up so I just assumed he told you! I know you probably don’t wanna be with me but I swear, I wasn’t trying to trick you!” Your voice cracks at the end.

Concerned, Joel frowned. He didn’t know why you were shaking. He stepped forward, wanting to hold you. “Hey now, darl’n, don’t cry” But he froze when you scrambled backwards, fear in your eyes. “Whoa there… I ain’t gonna hurtcha…”

You didn’t look like you believed him, eyeing his movements. “You won’t?”

“No, oh my god no. Why would I do that? Wait, that’s stupid, I know how people are but… I ain’t like that, I promise.”

Shoulders relaxing, you appear to be calming down. “Some men… well, they get really violent if they find out the person they… they did anything with was a man…”

“That aint me, I swear it, Blue.” He shuffles his feet. “I can’t say I really understand all this but… I ain’t like that.”

He could sense your dejection from where he stood. “I understand. I won’t bug you. Again, I’m really-” You turn to leave.

His eyes went wide. “Hey, hey, hey wait-” Joel grabs your hand, but not tight. You could pull away if you want to.  “Do you… do you still wanna be with me?”

You giggle softly, still looking sad. “Of course I do… Joel, I barely know you but… of course I do. But you don’t wanna be with me.”

“I didn’t say that, Blue…”

You look at him curiously. “Joel, you just found out what being trans was 2 minutes ago, are you sure you wanna be with a trans woman?”

Joel let go of your hand to rub the back of his neck, smiling. “I’ll be honest, I don’t really know if I’m ready to date at all. I got my kid,” He thumbs back to the restaurant, chuckling. “I got Tommy. It’s a lot right now. And honestly? I don’t know if this makes me gay or not but… I’d like to try to be with you… if you’re cool taking it slow.”

Looking directly at him, you smile. “I would absolutely be okay taking it slow. And, listen.” Reaching you, you take both of his hands in yours. “Would it help if we just got together and I let you just… ask whatever you wanted? Like, having a little learning session.”

“Yeah.” Breathed out a laugh. “Yeah that would be great, asking.”

*

It was 3 am when Tommy came stumbling home. Normally, Joel wouldn’t notice but he heard a loud crash, running downstairs with a gun to find the coffee table nocked over and Tommy trying to bake pizza bagels. After some back and forth shouting at him, it clicked.

“Jesus, Tommy, are you on coke?” He gawked in disbelief. 

Tommy just laughed. “You said I couldn’t use when Sarah was around!”

“That’s not an excuse to to hard drugs the second she’s out the door! You’ve been gone since 6, what if she came home early?”

Tommy waved Joel away, putting pizza bagels in a cold oven. “She’d be fine.”

His blase attitude was pissing Joel off even more. “I don’t want you high around my daughter!”

Standing up and apparently thinking the oven was on, Tommy glared at Joel. “Relax, Joel. She ain’t here!”

Joel fisted his hand into Tommy’s shirt, voice bellowing in the kitchen. “I don’t give a shit Tommy! Don’t you ever come into my home coked up again, you understand?!” He le go and shoved Tommy away.

Half an hour later, Joel came downstairs to find Tommy crashed out on the couch. Joel took off his shoes, pulled a blanket over him and placed water by his side. He cleaned up the messed up coffee table, turned off the oven that was now on and burned bagels and locked the door again.

*

Blue’s POV

You were nervous, to say the least. Sure, you liked to play it cool but really, Joel scared you half to death. He was so fucking… perfect. Tess had thought you’d like him. She told you so much of his personality, you’d assumed he was ugly: hardworking, good father, responsible, loving, kind, protective… When you saw him you were dumbstruck. How is a man that good of a person and that fucking hot?

You’d just wished Tess had told him you were trans, since  she was trying to set you up. Still, you understood she didn’t want to out you. Not a lot of people here knew, and you needed to keep it that way. As far as the parents and faculty at your school knew, you had been born with two tits and a vagina… okay maybe not tits but you passed a just flat chested. If anyone found out, technically they could still fire you. 

Still, Joel was kind and had taken the information in stride. You didn’t think it was going to work out between you… you’d figured Joel wouldn’t but up for dating you, especially if he wanted more kids... But you suppose today would tell.

Joel looks genuinely happy to see you. “Hey, come on in.”

You’re impressed to find the house is still clean. There’s things on counters and a little mud on the floor but you like it looks lived in. Still, he obviously takes care of his house.

“I really hate to do this,” He starts and your stomach drops. “Sarah’s mom called, wanting to bring her back early, like in a few hours.”

You understood. Bringing everyone over on Friday was one thing, but bringing a women over (that wasn’t Tess) around Sarah might confuse her, and he wanted to be careful. “I totally understand.”

“You eat yet?”

You watch, smiling as Joel cooks you breakfast. “Where’s Tommy.”

Joel grunted, a slight tonal change. “Upstairs sleeping off a binge. He’s a dumbass.”

Ah, so the tension hasn’t subsided.

After eating, you and Joel sit down on the couch.

He looks as nervous as you are. “Just… stop me if I saw anything offensive.”

You shake your head. “Nothings off the table today, you can ask whatever, I just wanna be straight forward. In fact, I’m gonna go ahead and answer the question I know you have. No, I don’t have a dick.”

Joel coughed, choking a bit. “I wasn’t going to ask that!” He begins to laugh, and so do you.

“Yeah, because you’re polite, so I just said it. I got bottom surgery a few years ago.”

“What’s that?”

“They turn my dick into a vagina.”

He nods. “I’ll be honest, that is a positive.” His eyes go wide in that way you noticed he does when he thinks he’s said something wrong. “Not that- well I wouldn’t- I could… umm..”

You reassure him. “I understand, Joel. You’d have been working with whole knew equipment. I promise, this is probably what you’re used to working with. Maybe if you get lucky, one of these days you’ll get to go for a test run.” He turns bright pink, but smiles. “Your turn, go ahead.”

He took a deep breath. “Does this make me gay? I ain’t got nothing against be’n gay, I mean, Tess is my best friend and I work for two of ‘em” the phrasing there almost made you laugh. He was so clunky sometimes, but he was trying. “It’s just, I didn’t think I was.”

You shake your head. “No. I mean, some people think that but, no. I don’t think I’m a man. Do you think of me as a man?”

“Not one bit.” He was earnest. 

“Then you’re not gay, Miller.”

For the next hour, he asked a lot of questions. Some were more in depth, like what transitioning looked like, or what you felt like as a child.You told him you were on E and he had lots of questions about that. You explained you hadn’t gotten top surgery, and his eyes only flicked to your chest once. Respectful cowboy. He asked if you wanted “uuhhh, you know…” breasts, and you said you honestly didn’t feel the desire for it. You liked yourself as you were right now. Some were a bit fun, like how you chose your new name or if you stopped growing facial hair.

What you loved about him was he came from a place of genuine curiosity. He wasn’t judging you, he was trying to learn. You check the clock.

“I think Sarah will be coming soon. Did you have any other questions?”

Joel thinks for a bit. You imagine he probably had a lot about between your legs, but he was too polite to ask and honestly, details of surgeries, although you were comfortable, were a lot for someone you just met, even if it felt like you knew him already. 

“I don’t think so. This has been nice, actually, so… thank you.”

He walks you to the door and as you bend over to put your shoes on, you look up at him. “I’m gonna give you some time to sit on that information… if you wanna go on a date, I’d love to. If not-”

“What about friday?” He hurries out, hands in his pockets. “If I can find a sitter, I mean.”

You stand up straight, unable to stop the beaming. You feel giddy. “I’d love to. We can even go later in the evening, like after dinner so you can spend time with Sarah.”

His face falters just a bit. “I um… I should be honest. I usually don’t have this much free time. I can’t really afford a regular sitter and Kayla isn’t really around with Sarah much… so I guess I don’t really know how well this will work…”

You kiss his patchy beard cheek. “Let’s just take it one day at a time then, okay?”

Joel smiled at that. “Yeah, that’d be nice.”

PRIDE EVENT TIME!!!!

love yall

i know thi doesnt get much notes but somewhere out there is a trans woman seeing this... is going to feel so fucking seen and thats what matters to me.

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[akajustmerry]

bisexuals aren’t gay they’re bisexual. it’s not the same. gay people face persecution worlwide and cannot marry or date the person they love in more than 70% of countries on this planet. bi people can opt out and date the opposite sex whenever they want

so no being bi is not even remotely comparable

oh my fucking gooooooooood i SAID if I received ANY bi privilege discourse asks I would be billing for time wasted.

So hello! I'm an unemployed trans bisexual of colour who was bullied out of their last workplace and is currently recovering from debilitating surgery. In the time it took you to type this biphobic gobbledygook out, you could have donated a few dollars to my paypal or ko-fi so so I have less stress paying for doctors appointments and buying groceries.

you clearly a) hate bi people and b) assume we're all cis gender nonconforming people in "straight" relationships which isn't fucking true c) if this ask is in response to the asks I received about fucking...LESTAT being bisexual in iwtv??? the two main relationships he has in that show are with MEN so what the fuck are you talking about?? and d) do you seriously think bi people in gay relationships have a magical forcefield around us so we're not impacted by homophobia?? do you think trans bi people's ability to be in "straight" relationships saves us from transphobia?

I'll tell you what being bi definitely doesn't save you from - intimate partner violence! and bisexual women especially are at the highest risk. Or did you think it was merely a coincidence that Amber Heard, Megan Thee Stallion, and Evan Rachel Wood - who all had high profile IPV court cases in the last few years - are all bisexual women?

The idea that bi people can "opt out" of danger is simply not accurate or true when bisexual women are at the highest risk of violence in both "straight" and queer relationships. bi women are at risk of DV from men as well as experiencing the same homophobic persecution any gay person does while in a gay relationship. tell me, how's your fucking "opt out because they're not gay" theory of bisexuality looking now? Sure, many bi people are in "straight" relationships, but this isn't even unique to bi people. Like are you also going to claim that queer people in lavender arrangements or abstaining from relationships all together also have "opted out"?? Be serious. Be so fucking serious.

Oh. Do me one last favour! can you contact the members of my own family who no longer speak to me because they found out I was bisexual? Can you explain to my dad's cousin who told me I needed therapy to "fix" my homosexuality that, actually, I can also fuck guys so it's fine? That'd be lovely, thanks.

Anyways so glad we had this whole chat. I have no fucking clue what people want from these kinds of discussions about bisexuality other than an excuse to be a piece of shit. get well soon though <3

[canonmisogynyvictimstournament]

PROPAGANDA

ARCEE (TRANSFORMERS) (CW: Transphobia)

1.) Transformers has had a troubled history with female transformers as a whole. They didn't really even exist until Season 2. And while they've all gotten the short end of the stick until recently, Arcee, who kinda ended up The Main Girl (sorry Elita) has gotten the brunt of this mistreatment. Mostly talking G1 here.

Toys kept getting cancelled over and over even though she's a main, important character of Season 3. She didn't get a decent widely available toy that actually resembled her G1 version (first one was a Botcon exclusive Blackarachnia redeco which I disqualify because convention-exclusive spider is not what I was looking for, and Binaltech is just kinda a pink and white robot who looks nothing like her, just with her name slapped on) until 2014. I wish I could use bold here, because there's no such thing as uppercase numbers. Before that, you just kinda had to look at the toys from other canons and squint because Hasbro doesn't think the pink girl toy will sell well.

And misogyny present in the fiction? A lot can be summed up in a couple words, namely, "Furman, why?" While most people go with his excuses of not believing in Cybertronian gender, it really comes across as him seeing men as the default, neutral state of being, and women as something that must be explained. Poorly. Explained very poorly. Not to explain things in Tv Tropes terms, but I have to, it reeks of the 'Men Are Generic, Women Are Special' https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MenAreGenericWomenAreSpecial trope.

Let's get us started with Prime's Rib. Oh my goodness, Prime's Rib. So, Furman doesn't believe in Cybertronian gender (and male is seen as default), and this has reflected in his writing. He's going along perfectly fine writing his dudes in the US run of the Marvel comics, Arcee entirely ignored… but what's this? The connected UK comic has her. He can't just ignore her. So, well. He needs an explanation. Explaining a plot hole isn't bad. It's how he did it. Arcee was created in response to a feminist mob who was mad Cybertronians were all guys. I don't think I need to explain this one.

I'm too tired to explain her treatment in IDW now. Something something unnatural attempt to introduce gender into a genderless species, something something, really weird uncomfortable treatment, it's a long story and I'm not an IDW expert, read the TFWiki page for Spotlight: Arcee.

I'm sure there's more in other media, but I've blathered on way too long and I'm starting to get frustrated and tired and AGH FURMAN WHY. He's gotten better, too, definitely not judging his present self over comics that are from many years ago, but asdfghjkl

Ok fine, one more thing. This isn't G1 but Michael Bay stated in interviews that he gleefully killed her movieverse version off specifically because he didn't like her. It's not NECESSARILY misogyny motivated. I wouldn't deem it misogyny coming from a different director with a different film series. Transformers writers have had personal beef with random characters which they wished to unceremoniously kill off before--Animated Beachcomber comes to mind, even if the writers never got the chance. But it's also Michael Bay's Transformers we're talking about here. Can you blame me for thinking that?

Arcee has gotten better treatment in recent years. Furman's clumsy attempts to explain Arcee's gender in tbe IDW run were slowly retconned into some pretty decent trans rep by other authors, she's really just come into her own as a character. But it was a long and rocky road to get there, and I believe we all need to acknowledge that.

2.) Was initially introduced in the 80's transformers movie only after being strong armed by Ron Friedman, being the first female presenting robot to be seen in the show. bright pink, cause, ya know, female. has the most romantic involvement of any transformer ever across all transformations media, cause, ya know, female, and god forbid she be her own person when hasbro can stick to her to Some Guy. she was made trans in the 2005 continuity and was immediately made berserk as a result. marvel made her a freak science experiment to shame feminists. why does the robot have curves when no one else does istg

i love her too much to stand by idly while she's treated this way

3.) hasbro keeps trying to convince people that her and elita-one (another pink fem character) are actually the same. "who cares same lore different names. what do you mean they're different characters?" and constantly flips their lore, designs, and names around with every single FUCKING continuity ie transformers rise of the beasts where they use arcee's design but call her elita-one SMASHES MY HEAD INTO THE WALL bro there's a whole group of autobots called the "female transformers". i don't. there's so little female representation in this series that hasbro decided the best way to fix it would be… segregation, ig. arcee is apart of it obviously. elita-one leads it. reminds me that i should (and maybe sick a couple friends on this poll) make a submission for elita because JESUS CHRIST hasbro fucked her up also apparently in some continuities arcee is trans. upon getting bottom surgery it fucking. idk how turns her berserk?? it's so weird. mind controlled/sleeper agent in like half of the fucking continuities for some reason. in every single one of these continuities she either gets with Springer or Hot Rod and ends up betraying them. every single time why does the robot have boobs

NAOMI MISORA (DEATH NOTE)

1.) I know everyone is gonna submit Misa but honestly she had it worse.

She gets introduced as this competent lady who's gonna help find Kira but then she just, decides to show some teenager her real ID as a show of trust and whoops that's Kira.

Also part of her introduction was her fiance going "You don't need to worry about this tracking down the killer nonsense, you're gonna be my wife, you should just be worried about raising kids in the future :)" or some shit. And it's barely addressed, because she just fucking dies.

2.) She was the only woman in the series to show any level of competence. She figured out more about how the death note works from some small context clues than L did in considerably less time. She was apparently so competent that the author decided to kill her off despite initially planning to make her a main character, fearing she would distract from the L and Light rivalry.

3.) the victim of “writer doesn’t understand women and also hates them” disease. Like, seriously, the author of Death Note could only imagine a female FBI agent as the fiancée of another, more senior FBI agent. The main character Light kills her fiancé Raye Penber (in honestly a really tightly written and cool episode) and so she tries to figure out who killed her husband. Unlike Raye who only figured out that Light was Kira as he was dying because Light basically told him, Naomi figures it out a lot sooner so oops guess she’s gotta die because she’s too good at her job.

[not-a-space-alien]

K&J x MMSS 4: Valen & Jim Part 6B

Part 6 of the "B side" universe for AU4. You can check chapter 4B for clarification on what this means if you're lost.

K&J masterlist

MMSS masterlist

K&J x MMSS crossover masterlist

To be added to the taglist, contact @whumpsday

Warnings: Transphobia, unsupportive family relations

***

The hug lasts for an absurdly long time, but they do have to pull away eventually.  Liz gives Valen a soft clap on the back. "Whenever you wanna go home, I'll take you over to the border, just like you brought Jim to me. You just focus on resting up and healing, okay?"

Valen curls up in on himself, looking dejected. Go home?  He can't just go home.  Can he?  He is still reeling from this whole experience--and it honestly feels like he'll never be safe again by himself.  What does he even have to go back to?  He didn't have much before he'd gotten taken, but now, five years later?  He isn't even sure what home he'd have to go back to.  He would have nothing. 

But they had to feed him with their own blood.  Of course they'd want him out of their hair as soon as possible.  This was probably their polite way of saying they wanted him to leave, right?  But they'd just been hugging him, had that just been polite, too?

Trying not to look too pathetic and sad, he picks up the notepad and writes Does it have to be today?

"Okay, first thing, it's not gonna be today no matter what, 'cause you're not healthy enough to get back on your own yet." Jim says. "Second, you don't have to do anything. We just kinda assumed you'd wanna go home. You can stay here with me for as long as you want. I'm happy to have you." He smiles.

Valen almost can't believe what he's hearing.  For once he wants to stay, and that's allowed. He writes:  Even though you have to feed me?  Oh, maybe it'd been presumptuous to assume they'd keep feeding him, since 'feeding' isn't necessarily included in 'letting you stay here.'  Too late, though, he'd already showed it to them.

"Of course. Whatever you need, Valen." Jim gives his shoulder a gentle squeeze. "Or maybe you could visit out there to get blood packs. We got options."

"I'm gonna go finish working on the door." Liz gives Valen a little wave before going back to the basement entrance.

"I probably can't make it out here every day, but you can put me on the menu sometimes for sure." Laken says with a wink before going to join Liz.

Valen politely clasps his hands together in front of him and gives a little bow.  That's something a person does, right?  Instead of just cowering on the floor.

Jim interprets that as a thank you. "You're welcome. I take it you don't really have anyone waiting up at home then, but if you wanna make a phone call, I can like, read out stuff you write down to make it work if you wanna. You know you're not a prisoner here, right?" He thought that should be obvious, considering the door was open all night and Valen could have left at any time, but maybe it needs to be said. "You're- well, I'd like to think we're friends by this point."

Valen's lip wobbles.  How had he so quickly gone from leech, parasite, lower than dirt to friend?  He wants to hug Jim again, but Jim doesn't want hugs right now, so instead, he folds his legs under him and bows even lower than he had the first time.  Thank you, thank you, thank you.

"You're all good, buddy. None of this would be possible if you hadn't saved me in the first place. We'd both still be stuck in hell." Jim points out. He reaches a hand out to help Valen up and takes him back over to the couch to rest.

Honestly, the prospect of Valen staying excites Jim. He'd be a lot less paranoid about Kane coming back for him with Valen here, plus he gets lonely. And the thought of Valen going through the pain of recovery alone hurts his heart.

Valen sits on the couch and wraps himself up in the blanket there, watching Liz finish her work on the door curiously, but not bravely enough to go check it out.

Liz and Laken eventually finish, coming back out carrying a lot of silver. "Well, guess we'll be seeing you around then, Valen!" Liz calls happily.

Valen waves with both his hands.  His face hurts if he tries to smile, but he hopes he's waving enthusiastically enough to get the point across.

They leave, and Jim puts the TV on to just hang out for a little. After about an hour, he asks, "Are you gonna... be okay? If I head into the kitchen for a bit to make food, you'll still, um, be okay when I get back?" You're not gonna off yourself, right?

It's been a while since Valen has felt this okay.  He's fed, and people care about him, and no one is hurting him. Jim was right, everything did feel a lot better after he'd eaten. It no longer feels so insurmountably scary. He nods, and gives a thumbs-up, but then when Jim actually gets up to make lunch, he gets up and follows Jim into the kitchen.

Jim smiles when he notices Valen following him. He decides to make beans and rice, the meal he ate in Valen's house, for old times' sake. Except this time, it's actually good, because he has a stove this time. "Remember when you offered me a bunsen burner to cook with?" he asks with a laugh.

Valen had been excitedly rocking from foot to foot, but he stops when Jim says this. Jim thinks it's funny. That it's ridiculous. He vaguely remembers it. He'd remembered it better before he'd been tortured, because that had made everything before feel so distant, and blurred together. Is it bad that Valen did that? Jim doesn't seem angry, but he is laughing, like it'd been stupid. The hunters laughed at him for a lot of things. Being too weak, being helpless, being stupid, making mistakes.  Jim wouldn't punish him for what he's talking about, would he? Jim's not going to punish him. He'd said that. It's just hard to feel that, instead of the constant, pounding anxiety that at any second the pain is going to start again.

He thinks Jim is probably just bringing up a funny memory, but the urge to always interpret things in the worst way possible is too strong. Jim can't possibly just be joking around with his friend, Valen doesn't have friends, only tormenters.

No, that's not right, Jim had said he was a friend.

It's too much, it's too much to decide. He quickly scribbles I'm sorry I won't do it again I'll be good and shows it to Jim, eyes firmly on the floor

Jim's smile turns sad as he reads the note. "Nah, I'm glad you did. It was considerate. It's a good memory."

He remembers when he first got back. He was so jumpy. He used to say stuff like that all the time, after years of Kane hitting him at best and beating him at worst for any show of defiance. "It'll get better. The I-gotta-be-good stuff. It's real bad at first 'cause it's all you've known for years. But you start to get used to being a person again, and it lessens. Never goes all the way away, but it gets good enough. Least in my experience."

Valen wants to make eye contact so, so badly. He hasn't looked Jim, his savior, in the face yet, not even once. But he has to be good. But Jim was just saying about that...

He writes May I look you in the eye?

"Yeah, of course. Look away." Jim had thought Valen was avoiding eye contact due to nerves, he didn't even consider that he might think he's not allowed.

Look away. Oh no, conflicting directions. He averts his eyes, looking away from Jim, whimpering, confused.

Jim is confused for a moment, then realizes his phrasing was bad. "Oh, uh, something-away means to do something. Like, you can look. Sorry, my bad."

Oh, right. Yes, yes of course. It seems so unfair that the humans can just speak willy nilly without even thinking about how they phrase things, when Valen has to parse each syllable for signs of danger.

No, he doesn't have to do that, that's the point.

Valen slowly works his eyes up Jim's body, stopping at his shoulders, hovering there. He forces them to go higher, just briefly flicking them up to Jim's eyes, then immediately letting them fall again. Okay, that's good, that's progress, he looked into Jim's eyes and nothing bad happened, he didn't get accused of trying to use persuasion, he didn't get thrown in the sun.

"There you go. Making progress." Jim spoons his lunch into a bowl. "You've got nice eyes. You don't need to look at the floor all the time." The bright red of Valen's eyes doesn't scare him like the eyes in his nightmares. There's no malicious intent in them.

Nice eyes, he has nice eyes, nice eyes?!  He goes beet red, now avoiding eye contact out of sheer embarrassment and being overwhelmed, unable to figure out how to handle the compliment.

You've got nice eyes would have been a prelude to a hunter gouging them out in his old life, but that's far too brutal for Valen to even worry about Jim doing in his imagination.

He makes a choked sound and brings his hands to his face, hiding his reddened cheeks.

Jim tries not to laugh again, worried it might be taken the wrong way. "Sorry, didn't mean to fluster you or anything." He leans against the counter and starts eating.

Valen watches Jim eat with fascination, wondering why he isn't sitting at the table.

Valen thinks about what Jim had said earlier, about making a phone call. He doesn't want to call Priscus, but maybe talking to his parents would be nice. They're probably worried about him.

Valen waits patiently until Jim is finished eating, then holds his hand up to his head to pantomime a phone call.

"Yeah, I can help you make a phone call. Who am I calling and what do you wanna say?" Jim asks, leading Valen over to the phone.

Valen sits down primly next to the phone and writes out his parent's phone number and some instructions.

This is my parents' house.

My mother will probably answer.

Please tell her what happened and where I am. In very general terms. And that I'm alive and safe now.

"Gotcha. Um, I just wanna prepare you, if you've been missing for years and you can't talk to her, she might not believe me. You can always call her back after you can talk again." Jim tells him.

He picks up the phone and dials the number. "Hello? Is this Mrs., uh, Valen's mom?"

"Hm?" says a woman's voice. "Hello? You knew my daughter?"

"Yeah. Um, about that, I know this is gonna sound really hard to believe, but Valen's alive and here with me. Sh-she's recovering from a mouth injury and can't talk right now. Got captured by hunters and hurt a lot, but she's out and safe now. We're in human territory. Valen should be well enough to talk in a couple days, I bet." Jim takes the notepad and writes Not out to mom? while he talks.

Valen rolls his eyes in an exasperated way and writes I came out to her, she's just in denial.

"What?" Valen's mother says. "Oh my god, that sounds just like something she would do. Walk right on into human territory with her arms open to try and give the first human she sees a big old hug. She probably tried to talk nicely to the vampire hunters, I bet." Her voice is dripping with disdain. "She's such a bright girl, but her head is full of such.... unrealistic ideas. Wait...who are you, why are you in human territory? Are you a human hunter, do you work for the blood farms? You should know that she's married, understand?"

Valen groans and lets his head slump.

Jim is speechless for a few moments. "Is that seriously your reaction to learning your kid, who you thought was dead, is alive and finally safe after being locked up for years?" he asks, incredulous.

"Well," she says, suddenly sounding defensive, "she barely ever calls us, I was half convinced nobody could find her because she just finally ran off or something. I don't hear from her for years at a time anyway. Of course I was worried for her, but I've always advised against this reckless behavior precisely because of this. Tell her she's welcome to come home, of course, although she really should simply go back to her husband."

Valen looks so, so tired, resting his head on his hand. He's wondering why he thought this was a good idea

"I don't need to tell him because he can hear you. He's been listening this whole time. And you know what, you're a shitty mom. He deserves better. Valen, you got anything else you wanna say to her?" Jim asks, heated.

Valen shakes his head sadly.

"Who do you think you are?" she says. "I've never been anything but supportive!"

Valen mimes hanging up the phone.

Jim hangs the phone up without another word to her.

"I'm so fucking sorry, Valen. That's... wow." He shakes his head. "With family like that, who needs enemies, y'know?" Jim's eyes shine with tears. He's really upset about Valen being treated this way.

Valen gives a noncommittal shrug.  In his mother's mind, not disowning him and not forbidding him to go to college like he wanted to is enough to classify herself as supportive.  He taps the pencil, sighs heavily, and writes I'm not sure what I really expected.

"You said you might wanna stay? You've got a new family now, if you want." Jim wants to hug him, but he can't seem to make himself do it. He reaches a hand out and squeezes Valen's upper arm gently instead.For some reason, the phone call and getting put down by his mother has been very grounding.  It's reminding him of who he was before.  He's a person, who has a mother he can have a bad relationship with.  He moves his hand on top of Jim's, squeezing it back, nodding.  He's certainly not going back to his husband.  The thought of being this vulnerable and scared around Priscus makes him shiver with dread.  He would fall prey to Priscus's manipulation every time, he knows he would.  And going back to his parents' wouldn't be much better.  No, this feels like the safest place, against all odds.

***

@barebarb

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@why-not-ask-me-a-better-question

[self-loving-vampire]

Maybe I'm misreading but I feel kind of weird about the "forcemasc exists, here are examples from conversion therapy!" thing because as a transmasc it's like, okay, are you also going to acknowledge that forcefem can be part of conversion therapy, or...? Like your tags about "isn't foremasc what they do to GNC AMABs generally?" Are completely correct, but I feel like I would get destroyed for saying the same thing about forcefem. If we can acknowledge that forcefem has a whole culture around it with an origin that isn't conversion therapy surely we can see that forcemasc is similar?

Yeah I think I reblogged a post about that a couple of weeks ago that mentioned it in the context of like, being forced to dress up for family photos and the like. I don't think that's actually controversial to say that's a thing that people are forced to go through as well?

I'm pretty sure that was a common feminist talking point when I was growing up, even. It made conservatives really mad when anyone at all did not conform to the norms of their gender assigned at birth, even if they were completely cis.

This is evident enough from looking at christian parenting guides. For example, in "Bringing up Girls" known christofascist and child-beating apologist James Dobson comes out explicitly in favor of gender essentialism and argues (with use of some old-timey neurosexism) that not raising children in accordance to this view is doomed and harmful, and that deviations from it are aberrant and artificial. "Proper" boys like guns and violence and "proper" girls like flowers and babies.

And as a result, he concludes that there is a moral imperative to raise everyone AFAB to be feminine "ladies" (who are also sexually "pure", of course) and to counter any assertiveness they might have picked up from the fallen and overly feminist modern world.

Unsurprisingly, conservatives want people to conform to what was assigned at birth, regardless of what the assignment was and deviation gets punished.

We all know about transphobia, for instance, but even among cis people, those who deviate to their role experience more bullying, abuse, and sexual violence. Sex pests may also preferentially target women who violate gender norms.

(As an aside, this is why the argument that it is "femininity" itself and not GNC behavior that gets punished makes me feel like I'm losing my mind. Ditto for arguments that "pickmes" and "tomboys" are somehow privileged misogynists.)

[pigeonwhumps]

Overdose

Sanctuary masterlist

Taglist: @littlespacecastle @mirasmirages @flowersarefreetherapy @whumpinggrounds @cepheusgalaxy

@painful-pooch @i-eat-worlds @a-funeral-romance @rainydaywhump @augusnippets

Augusnippets day 30: self-harm | addiction | overdose

Anita overdoses.

469 words

CW: minor whump (Anita's 15), medication (tablets), overdose, suicide attempt, past rape (not explicitly mentioned but this takes place in the aftermath), transphobia, PTSD, Anita's pov which I think needs warning for here

Anita pops the pills out of the foil one by one, dropping them into the little cup beside her on her bed. She doesn't like taking pills. But after today, she won't have to again.

She won't have to do anything again. Or feel anything ever again.

Her heart will no longer pound every time she catches a glimpse of school uniform. Her stomach will no longer threaten to exit her body at the sound of raucous laughter. She won't have to take the long route to the park if she's ever brave enough to go because the normal route passes the alley where–

Well.

She can't take this anymore, she can barely leave the house, can barely breathe even on good days. Every time she looks at herself she hears the words of her– the others. She's not a proper girl because she can't take it, and she looks like this, but she isn't anything else either so what is she? Not human? Not worth anything?

Will she even bother to defend herself if they come back? They could, they're not in jail, maybe not ever. They could attack her any time she leaves the house. And everyone knows, they could hurt her too.

Not that it doesn't all hurt, inside her head, all the time. And her injuries haven't healed yet either.

She just needs everything to stop.

That's all the pills ready. The whole packet. That should be enough.

It has to be enough.

Anita takes a swig of grapefruit juice and holds it in her mouth, then sits a few pills on top and swallows it all down with some more juice.

And then she does it again. And again. Until all that's left are two empty cups.

That's it, then.

She leans back against the headboard and closes her eyes, drifting for a little bit. She wonders how long this'll take to work.

There's a soft, "Mrrp," and she opens her eyes, frowning.

"I thought I shut the door."

Mittens jumps on the bed and brushes up against her, headbutting her side with a more insistent, "Mrrp."

She chokes on a sob as she scratches the old cat. "Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry. It's–"

"Fine" is what she means to say, but she can't. She can't. It's not fine. And she's not sure she's as ready to leave as she thought she was before Mittens came in.

She's so tired.

She doesn't want to stop petting Mittens. Ever.

She reaches out her free hand for her phone and dials three numbers, strength waning.

"Emergency services, what service do you require?"

"Ambulance," she slurs, eyes slipping shut.

"What's your emergency?"

"Overdose. Address is 2B Crescent Building, SE6 5SG."

When did it go dark? She doesn't remember it going dark.

And then she doesn't remember anything at all.

[olderthannetfic]

The entire pronoun convo is A Bit Much, insofar as it's about "pls don't be a dick" VS "I'm not misgendering you out of transphobia but out of neurodivergence / we talked for all of 2 minutes over a whole year and I forgot."

But.

Yes, yes, "just ask/give pronouns!" Sure. Good. Do that if you can and want to, and it's safe! But, please, don't pressure people into giving you pronouns. It's A Thing now on social medial, Discord, and the like. What are your pronouns? Introduce yourself and give your pronouns, or else! Nothing fills me more with dread than that question - okay, fire-breathing T. Rexes might, but you get the gist.

My pronouns? My gender? My gender is 'can we not' and 'do we have to,' frankly. If I give you the ones I prefer online, I always feel the need to explain why, because, well. Meatspace VS Internets.

I know what I look like and how people will gender me in brickspace. I know what non-binary pronouns are in my mother tongue, and I don't really like them; I also spend most of my online time in English-speaking bubbles. I know what I prefer in English-language areas but this is, also, not what English-speaking people will spontaneously use when they see me in the flesh. I am clocked in as weird and not quite right, but at first glance? At first glance, I'm obviously [gender at birth] whether it fits how I perceive myself or not, and i can live with that, for now. I have decades of experience with it. It's not particularly me, but the other mainstream option isn't either, so *shrug* - and yes, I am aware I'm lucky I can go *shrug* about it. I am also aware I might not be *shrug* about it in 5 or 10 years and may decide to identify differently. We're not immutable, after all.

As things are now, well, I know this state of things may not be the case for everyone, but it is for me, and I will take what easy bits I can get and not give them up; there's enough on my plate.

And frankly... I have more than enough issues around 'Am I queer enough? Do I belong? Am I an usurper?' and I don't need more; the whole give your pronouns Or Else thing makes me feel like I belong even less to the queer community, because I don't look or behave like I, apparently, am expected to look or behave.

I know I'm not cishet, but I often feel like I'm not NOT cishet enough. I will do my utmost best to use the right gender & pronouns for other people, and if I make a mistake it's not because I want to hurt them... but gender is something that some individuals just want to ignore, and all the times I've had demands made on me regarding my pronouns have been way more stressful than just people using whatever (slight thrill if they use the one that's not the assigned at birth one, slight eyeroll if it's the assigned at birth one, little Yay! if it's they, if only because they're not assuming anything.)

Please don't assume that if someone doesn't give their pronouns first thing or in their bio, it's because they're comfortably cishet or even transphobic. Not everyone is out, for a start, and not everyone has a clear-cut answer.

--

[thevampiremars]

My thoughts on the trans rep in "The Star Beast"

This episode is haunted by the spectre of Good Representation™. Representation is a topic too expansive and nuanced for me to interrogate fully, so I'll just say I'm sceptical of the approach and the way it reduces trans (or otherwise marginalised) characters to plot points or blandly by-the-book portrayals. Also the idea that any single character can accurately represent an entire demographic is tenuous. Anyway.

Throughout the episode there's a huge focus on how beautiful Rose is, which is... I mean, I'd hardly be the first person to point out how Weird people (cis people especially) can get about how trans people look. And I get that this is probably a deliberate attempt to counter transphobia, to stress that trans people are cherished and deserve the world. It is a sweet sentiment I suppose, but it can come across as a bit... insincere? patronising? fetishistic, even? You have to recognise that correlating a person's worth with how beautiful you think they are is problematic in and of itself.

I actually really like the scene where Sylvia is stumbling on pronouns and worrying about whether or not it's okay to call Rose gorgeous. It's cute. It's genuine. I wasn't sure about the boys on bikes scene that preceded it – I thought deadnaming Rose was a clumsy way to establish that she's trans – but I've watched the episode again and my opinion has softened. I think it works well to have the malicious misgendering side-by-side with the accidental misgendering, showing that, yes, there is a difference. I know this already, but cis people who get confused about terminology and etiquette might benefit from watching this.

Speaking of pronouns... haha. Yeah, I did not like the "are you assuming he as a pronoun?" "my chosen pronoun is the definite article" exchange. Very awkward and nonsensical. It could have worked with some tweaking, but as it stands it feels more like a transphobic joke than actual dialogue. Ditto "male-presenting Time Lord."

Side note: why are some people so thrown off by the Doctor's gender? It's really not that complicated. The Doctor's pronouns vary depending on whether we're talking about an individual incarnation or the Doctor as a whole, encompassing all incarnations. If we're talking about a specific Doctor, they've all been he/him so far except for the Thirteenth and Fugitive Doctor (both she/her). If we're referring to all Doctors as one entity, it makes sense to use they/them since they're not consistently one gender or another. The Doctor is technically nonbinary I guess but only because they have the ability to regenerate into any gender. They're genderfluid only if you squint.

ANYWAY.

Is Rose nonbinary? Again, the "binary, binary, nonbinary" line just felt like a joke. Plus it doesn't make a lot of sense as a plot point/reveal. Rose's gender shouldn't actually be relevant because what's important for the meta-crisis thing is that she's Donna's offspring. There's also the fact that Rose had been presented as a trans girl until that point – no indication that she's nonbinary. Yes, it is possible to be a nonbinary girl, but it seems more likely to me that RTD just thinks nonbinary and trans are synonymous. Which is not the case.

The thing is, as I've alluded to already, Rose is an example of trans rep written by cis people for cis people. RTD's heart is in the right place, for sure, but he doesn't really know what he's talking about. I would say I appreciate the effort? But I don't know what the effort was in aid of exactly. I suppose it's nice for cis people to be told it's okay to stumble on pronouns sometimes, and to be shown that transness isn't a horrible and scary thing. I dunno. It's frustrating that trans people in life and in fiction have to educate and inspire and reassure cis people all the time... but we live in a society, don't we? And I'm sure there will be plenty of young trans people thrilled to see someone like them on TV, even if the execution could have been better.

[novelcain]

I meant like, the whole homophobia/transphobia thing, unless China was very accepting of enbys. Idk I don't really do history.

OOOOOOHHHH!!! Sorry I have a big dumb Skittle brain and am incapable of reading between the lines when it comes to nonverbal communication. 😅 Ok ok I did some research on this just now so I could give an accurate (as much as I can but I'm no expert for sure) answer.

And that answer is... it depends.

China has a very long history regarding sexually and its views of sex have shifted a LOT from one era to another. But for this post, we'll focus on the Tang Dynasty because that is the time period JTTW is set in (tho which time period of the Tang Dynasty is unclear)

So I'll start by saying that the Tang Dynasty was notoriously open about sex and sexual desires and homosexually was accepted in ancient but only in certain situations. Usually homosexuality or simply non-straight behavior was only accepted and allowed within the upper class. For example most if not all (I'm not too sure) Chinese emperors had several male lovers and they didn't hide it as it was often revered with great admiration.

NOW as far as gender orientation goes. This would HIGHLY depend on the person and their beliefs as during this period China was dominated by 2 religions Taoism and Buddhism.

Taoism was the official religion of the Tang Dynasty and states that nature is perfect as is and by proxy some believe that would mean they view transgenderism as a flaw of nature while most Taoists themselves do not view transgenderism negatively as the Tao is pretty unconcerned with identity and focuses on virtue and coming to accept things as they were born in nature. Therefore I think the only thing that would even remotely be said against transgenderism from a Taoist standpoint is that you shouldn't feel the need to change your body to reflect your mind. Conclusion: ancient Taoism would likely accept transgenderism so long as you don't pursue gender affirming surgery.

Now while the official religion of China at the time was Taoism, many emperors highly favored Buddhism and that can even be believed of the emperor described in JTTW.

That being said. Buddhism believes that the body is a cage that traps the spirit in suffering and should therefore be distanced from as much as possible. HOWEVER! The Buddha himself said that while you should try to separate yourself from the Earthly Realm one's body should be used as a tool of awakening, and given that awakening in to find Nirvana, one could argue that pursuing your gender identity is simply using your body to reflect your soul and therefore is good. But honestly Buddhists are pretty chill and as long as you ain't hurting anyone or anything I HIGHLY doubt a true Buddhist would care what you do so long as you live amicably. Conclusion: transgenderism would likely be cool with about 99% of Buddhists even in ancient China.

Overall conclusion: MOST people probably wouldn't care, though these are ancient times, so I'd really read the room before offering any info about being gender nonconforming or nonbinary. Having said that, the worst thing you'd have to do is pretend to be whatever gender you most closely resemble. But honestly I think a lot about how it'd be best to pretend to be a man when traveling as they are much less likely to be attacked, assaulted, or hate crimed.

So again, in situations like these you need to be flexible and willing to present as something you aren't. And while that can be hard, I feel like dying via whatever brutal death an extreme transphobe can think of is a lot harder. So if you play your cards right the most a nonbinary reader would get is probably some nasty comments and a few even nastier looks. Tho both could easily be corrected by Tripitaka explaining they shouldn't do that and that isn't what Buddhism believes if the person is a Buddhist and if that doesn't work or they aren't Buddhist then a few sharp glares from the Great Sage Equal to Heaven should be more than enough to get them to knock it the fuck off. Tho if you're good at talking people over to your side then they probably wouldn't even need to step in.

As for how the group would take it, I think they'd all accept it rather quickly after you explain what being enby is with maybe the exception of Bajie who just truly doesn't understand so you'd just have to explain the concept of other genders to him a few times.

I hope this answers your question at least somewhat 😊