#...and with a bit more looking I'VE FOUND IT AND IT'S GOT THE EXTRA VERSES IN IT

[chiropteracupola]

regular achievable plans (what if we learned a language simply because we wanted to get better at cataloguing different versions of johnny has gone for a soldier/siúil a rún...)

[briarpatch-kids]

Let's talk mobility aids!

Canes

Canes are for when you need to take a little bit of weight off of one side of your body, need a little help with balance, or need a little extra stability when you walk. It's an easy mobility aid to find and get, and it's pretty easy to figure out how to use. Have the cane sized so the handle sits at wrist level, then hold it on the opposite side to the one that hurts. Match your cane strikes to the steps on the hurt side. It will hurt your arm, elbow, and shoulder sometimes, but having a properly sized cane will help.

Rollators

Rollators are kind of the "next step up" in support. They come with more restrictions, you get limited to ramps and stuff, but they're also the least restrictive wheeled mobility aid because they're light and easy to pick up and toss around. They also have a seat a lot of times and a basket so you don't need to carry stuff. They're for when you need a place to rest, something to lean on when you walk, better balance assistance than a cane, and less weight bearing than a cane. I also found that it helped me with fatigue quite a bit. There's two main kinds, euro style like the first, and regular like the second. There are other fancier ones but I'm covering the basics here.

Rollators are my favorite mobility aid and I've used everything from canes to a fancy high grade power chair. They're just the perfect balance of help and freedom. They provide so much support for how far they go.

Crutches

Arm crutches are pretty neat! They're a lot more ergonomic than a cane. In fact, some people use a single arm crutch as a cane. They distribute the weight a little better, so it's not all on your wrists, and they support you better than a rollator can. The major cons I found are that they take two hands to use so you can't carry much and I had a really hard time trying to learn to walk with them. A lot of people who use forearm crutches have other mobility aids and use the forearm crutches when they want to or need to walk.

Manual Wheelchairs

These are for when walking becomes more difficult than pushing a wheelchair. There's no weight being put on your legs and feet and depending on your needs, you can get really specific with your adaptations if you have a custom wheelchair verses a standard wheelchair. My first custom chair looked like a monster truck because i took in the woods and gravel, my second custom chair after I got sicker has a head rest, a backrest that holds me up, and a little electric box that I can attach that helps me push. The difference between getting a standard and custom wheelchair is dependent on how much money the user has, what kind of needs they have, and what kind of medical access they have. (One is not more "real" than the other.) I highly recommend getting a cushion for under your butt if you have a standard chair without a cushion, I used a standard full time for 6 months and a cushion made a huge difference.

Mobility scooters

Mobility scooters are for people who can't walk long distances, but can still walk with the help of a cane or unassisted. If you can walk around your house, but not really much else, a mobility scooter might be the aid for you! There's a lot of different styles and battery life lengths and handling abilities so try a few different scooters out if you can.

Powerchairs

Powerchairs come in a couple different types or "groups" depending on your needs. Group 1 is the kind of chair you're probably most familiar with. It's basically for someone who needs a powerchair to get around their house, the doctors, office, and grocery store. You can't do any custom seat cushions or anything, but it's for people who don't need it. Think of like... someone who can walk pretty okay still, it just hurts to walk or they're off balance or a little weak feeling. A lot of times more elderly people will use these, if you're more active look into group 2

Group two chairs are little more durable, a little more stable, sometimes you can switch the captains seats out for custom seating... They're what a full time powerchair user would use if they don't need specialty functions like tilt or recline. They also often have 6 wheels rather than 4 like the group 1 chairs have.

Group 3 powerchairs are reserved for specific diagnoses like muscular dystrophy, ALS, and other severe neurological and neuromuscular illnesses. These are also called "rehab" chairs because they're for making sure severely disabled people have quality of life. The tilt function is for pressure relief, though you can also get things like elevation so you can raise and lower your chair, and some of them can recline flat. There are other avenues of moving grade 3 power chairs beyond the joystick as well in case someone can't use their hands or doesn't have them. (Head controls, torso controls, and straw controls called sip and puff are alternatives.) They can go on a little worse terrain than group 1 and two chairs and go a little farther, but if they get stuck they weigh 350 lbs and it's awful.

There's a few other types of mobility aid that I don't know enough about, like ankle foot orthotics and gait trainers, but these are the basic "mobility aid" most people will come across.

If you use another type of mobility aid and want to educate people, add it on!!

[sardonic-the-writer]

—SCARS

—In which you are having a hard time accepting your body, and Charles can relate

—Word count: 1k

—Extra: n/a

Charles hadn't expected much to happen today.

An afternoon pouring over neatly (and sometimes not so neatly) written papers was the only thing on his agenda. Maybe even a trip to the kitchen for a cup of tea every now and then.

His silver pen would glide over sets of paper packets lightly as gray skys weighed down upon the grounds outside. Occasionally he would stop to scribble one or two things down on a select paper, but other than that the steady motion of jotting down grades was all he went through.

Charles was so deep into his duties as a proffessor that he had barely even heard the door to his office open slightly over the rain outside the window he sat at, only looking up once he felt another presence enter the room.

"Hello there." Charles smiled at a head poking through the door, the face of his long time friend and partner (Y/n) staring back at him. They smiled their signature grin at the professor, taking note of his casual attire of just a t-shirt and jeans.

"Sorry to interrupt. I just had the urge to come and see you. You know, sit around for a bit while I let Hank handle the kids downstairs" (Y/n) began to enter the room after closing the door behind them.

Charles quirked an eyebrow up, taking some papers off his desk and resting them on his knees as he wheeled himself around to face (Y/n). Whom had since then found their place on the edge of a plush couch on the other side of the office.

"I'm quite flattered you wished to come visit the old bore holed up in his tower." He jested while wheeling closer to them. "But are you quite sure that's all?"

"You could always look in my head if you weren't sure bub." They responded with a shrug. He got the feeling it was supposed to be joking, but the weight behind the words didn't match up.

"You know I don't like to do that unless necessary (Y/n)." Charles reminded them from across the couch. They just hummed before fliting their gaze away from his own.

A minute or two passed without any noise other than the sound of water droplets cascading on the roof above. Charles had since begun to sneak looks back and fourth between the papers in his lap and the person across from him, mind in two places at once as it usually was.

"Hey, Charles? Have you ever felt erm—" (Y/n) paused in their sentence to search for a word, successfully catching the attention of the target of their question in the progress, "—unsatisfied with your body?"

The question coated Charles' tounge in a bitter sweet feeling as the papers in his hands were laid aside. It wasn't a question he wasnt well versed in—nor one he wasn't familiar with—but sometimes even the best of questions could bring up bad memories.

"Once." He cleared his throat.

"After Erik's bullet pierced my spine, surely of which you remember, it took a while for me to see my legs as anything but a burden. A reminder of my failures in past years." Charles admitted somewhat faintly. The confession was honest, if not coated in a fine layer of regret for his foolish actions all that time ago.

"But why do you ask dear?" He mused while leaning forward; eyes softer than the very bed you sleep on.

(Y/n) began to pick at their neck, a sign of anxiety they had picked up after their first mission forever ago in capturing Shaw.

"Lately I've been, I don't know, finding myself insulting my body more and more. Comparing it to others. Like—like Raven. Even in her natural form she doesn't have half the stretch marks I do." They mummbled. The picking at their skin had since sped up, leaving a fair patch of flesh red in its wake.

It took Charles a moment of understanding before he settled on what (Y/n) was confiding in him.

"Oh, my dear." His wheelchair was quick to place itself by their side with him in it, a hand reaching out to cup itself on their jaw softly. He didn't miss the way they leaned into it hesitantly.

"You must understand that no matter what you look like, you are still one of the most stunning people to ever grace this planet. Dare I say handsome as well." Charles boasted of your looks like it was the finest sculpture known to humans and mutants alike. It would have brought a smile to your otherwise glum face if not for the topic at hand.

"And these stretch marks you speak of? May I be too forward in asking to see them?"

(Y/n) paused for a moment. They wanted to say no. And that yes he was being too forward by asking that. But something in them knew Charles would never do anything to make them feel unwanted or under appreciated. Much less embarrassed in their own skin.

They shifted on the couch, opting to sit up straighter and pull at the hem of their shirt. The fabric lifted up just enough to reveal soft purple and tan streaks zigzaging up rough skin in different directions on each sides of their hip.

"Beautiful." Was all Charles whispered, his voice so low, (Y/n) had to check twice to see if they heard him right.

"Like little lightning strikes." He grinned, looking away with his eyes gleefully crinkled in the corners. "I find them quite endearing. Just like the rest of you."

"I see why Raven called you a womanizer back in the day." (Y/n) managed to joke. They could feel their spirits lifting already.

"Ah, well, maybe just a little." Charles said, his face slightly hot as he recalled the foolish acts of his earlier youth. "But those were no words of such a womanizer so to speak. Meerly just someone observing the facts."

(Y/n) looked at him, a thankfulness in their gaze.

"Thanks. Really. Thank you."

Charles just laid a hand on their arm, his silent smile saying more than words ever could.

[nursc]

technically, christine exists in the kelvin timeline. we get a few mentions of her. but... i don't like or agree with them, so i'm going to pretend we're starting from scratch here. i quickly explained in here that the way i write christine is a direct rejection of the way aos presented her.

in summary, christine is someone that people don't easily forget. that people don't want to forget. she is magnetic, full of live and so vibrant, she tends to leave a mark in people's lives. by being their friend, their confidante, the person who made them laugh when everything felt hard. she is everyone's friend, she is on their corner, no matter what.

usually, for this verse, she attends starfleet academy instead of going to college and living as a civilian. this can change depending on plotting, as i'm fond of the spin snw gave her and how it shapes her outlook in life, but i like the idea of her going to the academy with everyone else and it provides an interesting twist.

christine graduates from the academy one year ahead of kirk and bones, and is stationed for one year at the uss ferragut, and she is transferred to the enterprise shortly after the first movie ends.

she is present for all events during the other two movies, specific events which she was a part of will depend on plotting as i don't want to assume things. in general, she is usually found on sickbay or in one of the science labs. in a pinch, she makes a very good blue shirt.

actually, i lied, one thing i'm going to adopt from the movies: she is friends with carol marcus, because why not? they are besties in this universe. however, as they both have the same hairstyle, i've decided to play around with christine's hair a little bit in this verse.

first picture. her look during starfleet academy + during the time of the first movie. second picture. her look during into darkness, a good contrast to carol's style. third picture. her look during beyond and post canon. she'll eventually go back to her look during the second movie, which is the one she tends to favor later in life. a more detailed look about her hair in this verse can be found here.

some extra tidbits that i wanted to share:

christine also favors the white jumpsuit look in this universe;

roger kirby was a professor at the vulcan science academy. he and christine were together, but not engaged yet. he died when vulcan was destroyed;

she has her masters in genetics by the first movie. by the end of the third, she's got a DNP advanced practice and a PhD in the philosophy of nursing ( dual degree );

as she went to starfleet academy, and did a full cadet rotation, she eventually (in her mid-thirties) switches to the command-track.

[nightseeye]

Thinkin abt haiku... finally finished the ending and like. ??? Thinking Many Thoughts abt it

(Features haiku the robot ending spoilers! Don't read if you haven't finished the game/plan to play!)

So. The story. Or basically my current take on:

What The Hell Happened To Arcadia???

(Pls note i dont know whatever information has cropped up in official discord(assuming there is one), this theory is based entirely on what ive found in the game itself)

Im guessing the green/dead(?) creator (found in the room atop the first tree)(who will henceforth be called "atom") wanted to revive humans, and nature in general, after whatever had happened to the surface, and also whatever happened to have destroyed the last bunker.

The other creators (Neutron, Proton, and Electron), did not like this. Why? No clue right now, just banging out some fresh-from-the-post-game Thoughts. Im guessing they mightve created the virus, or rather, a simpler initial version to take down, and kill atom

Heres where things get a little more into theorizing territory

My guess is that atom died, but ended up haunting, and twisting the virus. I mean, it had to get so completely out of hand somehow, no? Also, the fact that the creators(and. Yknow. Pretty much all of arcadia) got infected means it got really, terribly out of hand. Chances are it locked down the creators first, before spreading unchecked.

Why do i think this? Well, when one first gets to the first tree room, the dead corpse of a creator is inside. The virus turns into a blob and passes through haiku, ((?)maybe attempting to infect them, but not working) and a voice (the virus'? The dead creators??) says:

"Small child,

Look how you have grown.

Forgive me for what I've become."

Unlike most other dialogue in the game (barring luna's poems) this has no text box. So maybe that's the virus/atom itself speaking to haiku.

This could mean that Atom is potentially Haiku's creator. None of the other creators refer to haiku as closely as that weird blob of virus does, and nor do they seem to recognize them, so maybe haiku was a an extra secret project. Even more secret than the human one was, really. Potentially Atom had an inkling that the others were plotting their death.

And that leads onto my next theory:

What (or who?) Is Haiku?

Honestly i have no clue. My working and semi shitpost theory is that theyre some sorta robot jesus, idk. Theyre creator shaped, presumably meant to help bring balance (according Verse), and also straight up do a lot of stuff that other robots cant (mostly dumping that last bit under metroidvania protag powers tho)

Timeline

Atom has a project to bring back humans

Other 3 creators dont like this, create a virus to kill Atom

Sometime before said virus is created and kills atom, haiku is created(or at least, started)

Atom dies and haunts the virus, twisting it into a more virulent form

The creators get infected, and arcadia falls.

Time passes

Game time!!!

Tdlr Green creator got cain instincted by the others for trying to revive humans

[sparatus]

Hounds Bay for the WIP tag game 👀

like 3 years late cause my brain stopped functioning for askbox answering hdflshfks

wip tag game

hounds bay is my original urban fantasy!! "urban fantasy" being a term which here means "modern urban fantasy mostly but also there's high fantasy elements because i'm the author and i decide how many dragons there are and the correct number is Yes." i use the name for both the actual Book and for the verse in general, mostly out of habit. hounds bay is the name of the setting, and for the first couple years it existed it was mostly concept and character work before it got a true plot.

the Main Storyline follows auberon "ben" corbin, a necromancer living in seclusion out in the woods who is framed for a crime he didn't commit - well, not this specific crime, necromancy's illegal and he's definitely been doing that, but not this necromancy. he's found by two black dog ghosts (stuttgart and glasgow, who are in fact the very very ancient ghosts of two murder victims found in a bog from a late pleistocene settlement of early humans, the oldest known and most powerful spirits in the area), a werewolf (argus cotton, deposed werewolf king), and a young adult dragon (sand, disabled and can't fly but taught himself to Tunnel through solid fucking rock instead and is no less terrifying) and dragged before the fae courts to answer for his alleged crimes. when both argus and the ghosts vouch that they believe he's telling the truth, the local fae lord halwn agrees to let him try to find the real culprit, bringing the ghosts, argus, and argus's loyal shadow briar along for the ride (sand is too big to move around the city and hasn't mastered shapeshifting magic yet, but we do get to encounter his parents moss and sapphire, who are not friendly <3).

eventually, they manage to sniff out the real culprit and his plot to tear down the veil between life and death using murders in specific places with specific rituals to weaken it until it snaps. a race against time ensues, sand's dad moss is attacked as part of the final stage of the plan which risks a war with the dragons, lots of good shit.

i don't have a lot written for it, it's still in the plotting stage and most of what i've done is backstory and setting, but here's a lil bit i wrote for a big writing server i used to be in, from a larger piece on the backstory for moss and his brother stone and why the local dragons are on good terms with the fae:

They were lucky.

The mushroom hunter who’d been killed two days after Hyacinth, not so much. But their little killer-hunting party would take anything they could get.

The trail, according to Argus, was fading, but still clear and present as they trotted brusquely through the woods. Amelia had decided to come along, mostly for her own reassurance, though Halwn certainly wouldn’t have said no to the extra magical firepower regardless of whose idea it was; for “merely” a human hedgewitch granted immortality by Fae favor, she packed a punch comparable to any of Halwn’s own kind. Argus, as expected, had insisted on bringing the ever-present Briar to follow in his footsteps and provide an extra nose to push through the brush and debris covering the trail. They raced along ahead, occasionally looping back to be sure Halwn and Amelia were still following, their whuffs of discussion sometimes interspersed with annoyed barking at the faint specters weaving along after them.

Stuttgart and Glasgow were only barely visible if Halwn squinted, but frankly, he preferred that. The city’s resident death omens were unnerving enough to begin with, but these two made it worse, usually on purpose. The darker it got as time ran out to find their hunters, the more likely they were to occasionally catch a glimpse of the mummified, late Pleistocene-era corpses they actually were whenever they passed a trace of a kill, and Halwn had seen those damn things sitting up and looking at him plenty enough for one lifetime.

It had only been once, but still.

It’s not far now, Glasgow offered helpfully as he looped himself around branches up above. Black dog ghosts were not beholden to the same laws of physics as wolfed-out werewolves, a fact the brothers were more than happy to exploit, assuming they were aware of it at all. The only condition was that it be dark enough for them to manifest at all. It’s easier to pinpoint when it’s fresh.

“Far for a ghost, or far for something with a physical body that has to go over and through obstacles?” Amelia grumbled. The runes and magic circles she’d tattooed down her forearm had all taken turns glowing throughout their trek as she cleared their path or repaired the damage the wolves left with a wave of her hand. Halwn had almost reminded her that, as the local Fae Lord, the forest would respond easily to his commands without the use of his own energy, but after a decade or so of working with her and occasionally waking up beside her, he knew better than to argue. She liked being able to do things herself, especially if it proved she could keep up with the Fae and their associates around her, and if it kept her happy, he was more than willing to indulge her.

The wolves paused at the hollow under a large tree, sniffing the leaf litter intently. “Here,” Argus finally grunted, lifting his head and pawing at a suspiciously dark and crunchy spot. “This is the spot.”

Halwn looked around, sizing up the area. The trail to get here had plenty of issues, but wasn’t altogether impassable; a standard overgrown forest trail, really, the type any experienced hiker wouldn’t blink at. This was a younger section of the forest, the canopy thick with summer leaves and interwoven branches, but not so thick the sun couldn’t reach the floor in a pleasant dapple. “Can you smell any other victims besides the most recent?”

Argus and Briar both stuck their heads back down to snuffle the leaves, then Argus reported, “Faintly, sir. There hasn’t been enough rain to wash it away.”

“So this is a favorite place,” Amelia commented, looking around with her hands on her hips. “I see why.”

Halwn nodded, scanning the trees. A squirrel scolded them before sprinting across a bridge formed between two branches. A bird’s nest cheeped overhead. A dragonfly flitted past a blackberry bush with broken branches and smears of dried blood on its thorns. An owl-

Oh, great.

“Over there,” he said, gesturing to the thicket. “Looks like the bodies were dragged off.”

Briar whined softly, and Argus bobbed his head. “He has a point,” he grunted. As pack leader, Argus was the only one able to shift entirely at will without special charms and speak in a fully canine form, so translation was up to him. “An animal hunting for itself would have eaten its kills where they landed. Dragging them away means this is either something intelligent enough to hide the remains, or something hunting to feed others.”

Or both, Stuttgart whispered. There was just enough sunlight peeking through the leaves that Halwn couldn’t make out much more than a pair of glowing eyes and the faintest outline of a shadowy dog. There was no hint of teeth, as there would have been if Stuttgart was trying to disturb them, and Halwn wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or worried.

After a bit of back and forth, Briar reluctantly took the lead, crouching down to squeeze through the tunnel left by the killer. Argus, being bigger, followed him, leaving Amelia and Halwn to pick their way around the edge of the thicket. As they went, Argus occasionally barked out traces they’d found – bloodstains here, bits of clothing there, deep furrows where the killer’s apparent claws had dug into the ground for better leverage.

The blood, according to Briar, wasn’t all human, though what the other source was, neither wolf could say.

Gradually, the thicket and the trees around them thinned out, intermingling with and replaced by scrub and rocks as they approached the edge of the wood. The sun was kissing the side of the mountain when he looked up, staining the sky a lovely lilac. Stuttgart and Glasgow were visible trotting alongside them now, but not yet fully defined, wisps of shadow flaking off them like ash off a burning log.

Halwn’s skin prickled. He tried to soothe himself with assurances that the killer wouldn’t strike until it was darker, the sky a bloody red or dusky gray or even black, if nobody came out soon enough, but that just made him wonder what would happen if nobody came at all – if it was hungry enough to strike at a dryad, what was to stop it from coming closer to the city? If it was smart enough to hide the bodies, it would certainly be able to adapt to living among humans, and then it would be near impossible to find in the convoluted mess that passed for city planning.

His ruminating was interrupted by almost tripping over Argus emerging from the thicket and immediately veering to the right to block his path. The rebuke on his tongue died as he lifted his head, and he swayed on his feet, hands curling into fists in Argus’s thick, wiry fur for support.

Bones and body parts were strewn around the clearing before them. Femurs snapped cleanly in half and the marrow messily eaten out, rib cages with bits of half-rotted flesh still hanging from them, scraps of skulls that had had all the soft parts pried out and eaten – the visuals alone were enough to turn Halwn’s stomach, and that didn’t even account for the putrid smell rising out of the clearing. “Oh, God,” Amelia said, putting her wrist up to her mouth, “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Halwn very nearly joined her, trying valiantly to fight back the bile rising in his throat. The ghosts twined between his legs, then slipped out further into the mass grave. Look at what’s missing, Stuttgart hissed, his white eyelights bobbing up and down as he investigated. No small bones. No soft bits.

Briar, emboldened slightly, crept forward with his belly to the trampled grass. He sniffed at a skull, then flicked his tail and barked. “Hasty tooth marks,” Argus translated. “They were scraped, but not very well. Desperate. Probably starving.”

“Left a lot of meat, for something starving,” Amelia pointed out, still looking a bit green around the gills.

Maybe it’s too big to be delicate, Glasgow suggested, conspicuously swishing his wispy tail over a rake of claw marks in the dirt. Or there’s a different problem.

Halwn regarded the dogs carefully. As ghosts, and millennia-old death omens in particular, they were uniquely tuned into the pulse of the world around them. Nothing so much as tripped over an upraised root in the forest without them being aware of it. Right then, they were ambling lazily but pointedly towards a massive, ancient tree stubbornly dug into the rocks around it so that its upraised roots formed a shallow cave. If he squinted, he could just barely make out scratches of newly-exposed wood on some of the roots, and a spray of dirt and pebbles dug out from beneath.

His brow creased. “Stuttgart,” he began slowly, “what’s under that tree?”

The smaller of the two dogs flicked an ear and let his tongue loll out. The sun had disappeared behind the peak of the mountain by now, and the growing shadows of dusk lent his form even more eerie definition, with tufts of fur and lips that peeled back in a canine grin. Think about it. There were scraps of transparent peat clinging to his smoky fur. An ambush predator targeting humans, with a specific favored area and a den it drags the victims back to, where it eats all the soft, squishy bits; bites clean through bone; and swallows all the tiny parts it’s too big to notice. It has big claws that dig into the earth, strong jaws, and a blood-scent that isn’t familiar to werewolves that practically live out here.

Halwn’s blood ran cold as he spotted the faintest trace of movement under the tree roots. You already know what you’re going to find, don’t you?

[joeonmusic]

The stories behind the songs on my new EP out on 3rd January

I don't send postcards anymore when I go on holiday. I used to before I could WhatsApp every vaguely interesting thing I see to the person most likely to appreciate it, but I like the thought that people showed they cared by sending them even when the cards frequently arrived after they'd got home.

With these songs, I'm sharing stories about places I've discovered with listeners who I hope will find them interesting, even though I haven't been there in person. I want to take my listeners on a journey in a "wish you were here" kind of way, giving them a snapshot, so they can read more about it if they want.

First up on the EP is Skeleton Lake, which was the newest song on the EP, written in September and released on soundcloud as a demo on Halloween to give people a taster of my new stuff while I was waiting for it to be mixed properly. I read about Roopkund Lake in the Himalayas and was immediately fascinated by the mystery surrounding it. There's something about that part of the world and the mixture of the spiritual and the danger of those imposing mountains that really captures my imagination, so this rather grizzly end that so many people found on the shores of a lake 5,000 meters above sea level grabbed me as pretty amazing to look into (from afar). The story's put onto a riff-laden Bowie-esque guitar song with a bit of swagger. I kept it fairly simple on this one, but with hooks that I hope will draw in lovers of retro-ish rock.

Track two (meandering Lights) was originally going to be the lead track. The riff is recycled from one I wrote and played in my last band in Russia about 20 years ago. It sounds very different now to how it did then and and I re-wrote the lyrics to give it a more interesting story. This time we're off for an extra-terrestrial encounter with J Allen Hynek, the debunker turned UFO encounter classifier, after whose work close encounters of the 3rd kind was named (he even made an appearance in the film). This is the most musically unusual track on the EP with some samples, keyboard parts and guitars heavily laden with effects. I wanted to create something that felt other-worldly, as well as telling the story of Hynek's conversion into believing the stories told to him by expert witnesses of craft that couldn't be created by human technology of the time.

Track three takes us to Bangkok for a bit of retail therapy, no wait... what's happened to the shopping mall? Catfish rule the mall is a song about nature reclaiming a very unlikely place. A dispute led to an arson attack on a shopping mall, which was then abandoned roofless and filled up with rain during the monsoon season. All this water meant it became an attractive place for mosquitos, which didn't sit well with the locals, who put various types of fish into the water to eat the larvae and control their numbers. These fish found it an ideal place to live and thrived there, swelling in numbers until anyone going in would be amazed at the numbers of fish in the water. Musically, this song features a descending riff in the verses over a 6/8 rhythm and overlaid layers of guitars and keyboards that are supposed to create a slightly underwater feel. The chorus features some of my favourite slightly odd chords, like B♭dim7 and C#m7(♭5) and the song ends with a coda that gets more frenzied and deranged - it was the last part that I came up with on the song and probably my favourite bit.

The fourth place to (not actually) visit is Utopia, which despite being a very common concept all over the world has never actually been created anywhere, as I say in the song. I guess dystopia is a lot easier to imagine and agree on what it is, which could be why we always seem to be living somewhere closer to that even though you'd think we'd want to avoid it. Thomas More came up with his original version of Utopia in the sixteenth century and many others have created their own literary versions. I'm sure we all dream of living somewhere peaceful, with more equity and fairness, but we're stuck in a system that is very resistant to any such changes. I wish I could send you a postcard from Utopia and invite you all to join me there, but it's not happening any time soon. This is a slightly more standard indie-sounding song and has been compared to blur in how it sounds (although that could mean anything with their eclectic back catalogue in my opinion).

The final journey takes us to the gates of hell, and it stinks. A dirty bluesy (mixed with low-fi American alt-rock slightly reminiscent of Pavement) song tells how Soviet scientists drilled into the desert in Turkmenistan and accidentally opened up a massive fiery sinkhole. The Darvaza Crater, as it is now known, has been burning for about 50 years and you can smell it before you see it, hence the name of the song, Darvaza Stench! Again, my favourite part is probably the coda when I let rip with some frenetic guitar work and what seems like a sedate menacing song bursts into fiery strumming and smashing cymbals.

I hope you enjoy listening to this EP as much as I enjoyed creating it and will consider buying a copy on Bandcamp. https://joepeacock.bandcamp.com/album/postcards-from-places-ill-never-go-to

If not, then please at least check it out on Spotify if that's where you listen: https://distrokid.com/hyperfollow/joepeacock/postcards-from-places-ill-never-go-to

[ladder-discourse]

Possibly my dumbest headcanon?

Figured I'd share this because I've been driving myself crazy half the day, trying to figure out wtf the arm guard Ryu always wears is actually supposed to be?? I've seen a lot of people calling it like, a wrist guard, or glove for archery, which tbf is what I thought it was too, at first.

HOWEVER.

I got curious, and after sniffing around a bit w/ various google searches... It looks to me like what it's actually more likely to be is part of an arm guard for kendo? Not the actual kendo gloves (which are apparently called 'kote') but like, the extra padding one can wear underneath the gloves. Like this:

On that topic, I also found while researching that it's apparently not very common to wear a wrist/arm guard in kyudo, which is the style of archery the characters talk about doing in the game. There are apparently specialized gloves used in kyudo, but they do not look anything like the accessory Ryunosuke is always wearing.

Like. Someone who is more well versed in the ins and outs of equipment used for kendo and kyudo, PLEASE feel free to correct me, but like. I at least feel fairly safe asserting now, that it's not actually an archery glove.

Anyway, this leads me to the important point of this post. In the character designer's notes for TGAAC, the lead designer says that each accessory on each character is supposed to have personal significance to them, and he expresses his hope that knowing this will inspire players to use their imaginations to decide what each item means. In the spirit of that, here's my theory for Ryunosuke's arm guard:

I think he started wearing this thing constantly as a habit because he kept forgetting to bring it with him to class, which is a nightmare when your sparring partner is Kazuma Asogi. So he starts out just, keeping it on all the time so he doesn't forget it. Then, over time, he realizes it's actually extremely convenient for a lot of reasons to wear extra padding around on your one arm? The most important one being:

It's a portable pillow. He uses it to rest his head on when he takes naps at his desk.

[natromanxoff]

Queen live at Nuevo Estadio de Vallecas in Madrid, Spain - August 3, 1986

(x)

There was a fight backstage before the show, and virtually everything in the dressing room was destroyed. At some point during the altercation, Freddie insisted that this would be his last tour. In 2011, Brian recalled Freddie saying something like, "Oh I can't fucking do this anymore. My whole body’s wracked with pain!" Brian added, "He normally said things like that at the end of a tour, so I don’t think we took it seriously." But Freddie was for real this time.

In the blu-ray extras of the 2011 "Days Of Our Lives" documentary, Roger Taylor explained that John Deacon was going through a difficult time in his personal life. On this tour, Roger says "He had cocktail bar behind his amplifier, and his roadie would whip up a few cocktails throughout the show." Brian added that all of their their marriages were breaking up. They were completely immersed in Queen at this point, and the touring life particularly made family life a challenge. The frustation came out in various ways, like when John threw his bass at the Knebworth show.

The photos were taken by Dave Matkin, who recalls the show: "John appeared to be in a world of his own, at one point walking to the front of the stage in-between the Rock and Roll medley much to the consternation of Freddie who kept a watchful eye on him as he went on his travels."

Before Who Wants To Live Forever, Freddie sings the intro to Mustapha for the last time. Perhaps he skipped out on the usual "Queen's not gonna break up" speech because of the fight before the show.

Things seem to loosen up by the acoustic set, as Roger has a good time during Hello Mary Lou. He and John then jam a bit before Tutti Frutti, to which Freddie responds, "What beat are you doing, John?" which Brian finds amusing. Freddie then starts singing the song, and John jokingly doesn't play for the first two bars in light of Freddie's comment. After John starts playing again, between lines Freddie asks "What is happening?" However, after the show the band resumed their quarrelling, with many more things being broken backstage.

Here is a review of the show from a Spanish newspaper, submitted by Alessio Rizzitelli.

(x)

Fan Stories

“I saw Queen in Madrid back in 1986. When I was a kid, I remember having heard Mustapha (perhaps it was released as a single here in Spain, it's always been a popular track), and I loved the song. I also remember, after watching Flash Gordon, which I loved, that the music was great! I was only 12 so when I read music by Queen I thought that it made sense because those voices seemed feminine to me. It was only when Greatest Hits I was released that I became consciously interested in Queen, and I started buying all their stuff. What a shock when me and my friends found out that the singer was the mustached guy! Don't know why but we thought that the singer had to be either the short-haired or the blonde one. Funny, Brian always looked like a guitar player. We never saw any videos until Radio Ga Ga and Live Aid on TV. Anyway, in 1986 we had a terrific LP and great singles - and Queen in Spain. Me and my brother Carlos got a couple of tickets for the Madrid show and the concert was just excellent, they could have filled up the Santiago Bernabeu (twice as big as the stadium they played in), they were at the top of their success in Spain. We enjoyed every minute of their performance (but for the guitar solo, always a little long for me), we sang everything, favourite songs: Who Wants To Live Forever and Hammer To Fall. I remember the crowd jumping during Magic, Rock You, the wonderful Champions and Bo Rhap... what a laugh in Break Free when at the start of the 2nd verse Freddie stopped singing expecting to hear I've fallen in love, and the crowd erupted I WANT TO BREAK FREE again?!! I'll always remember Brian´s face (What the fuck?), staring at us (not me, I sure knew the lyrics!). Ga Ga was GIGANTIC! Not a favourite of mine up until that day... My only mistake was when Lap Of The Gods started and I yelled LILY OF THE VALLEY! After that I've always been a fan, and I was known as Freddie at university (nicknames were easier than real names when you got drunk, and they stuck with you forever!). Even after more than 10 years people still tell me that when they hear anything from or about Queen they think of me, not bad, huh? The saddest moment was when Freddie died. My brother Jose said after reading the lyrics to the show must go on when Innuendo was released "He's sick, this is some kind of farewell, he´s dying of AIDS." I replied "you don't know what you´re talking about." Well, yes he did (but he always says the same about everyone!). When Back to the Light was released I had the chance to see Brian in Madrid. Wonderful concert, all of us in our best Queen T-shirts (mine was the Magic Tour T-shirt). We missed Driven by You but we were treated to bits of Las Palabras de Amor, '39, Mustapha and a whole Teo Torriatte, which got so emotional...

A couple of funny things happened during this concert. One was the presence of one of the sisters of King Juan Carlos, who apparently seemed to enjoy the concert (even though she didn't really get up), even Brian's solo! The other one, I had the chance to speak with Jim Beach. I went to the concert with my friend Ricky, cheers man, if you're reading, and we started talking with some other Queen fans, basically showing off, trying to impress them with the sheer size of our Queen knowledge, we knew absolutely everything they asked, even why Freddie used a footless stand, but we were unable to convince them that Hot Space stinks (I mean I love it but just because it's Queen, otherwise, tracks such as Staying Power, Action this Day...) In the middle of this highly intellectual debate I see a little silhouetto of a man and as I seem to remember him from the Magic Years Videos I shout out loud "HULLO JIM!" The guy answers back "Hello", and quick as Han Solo I hit: "Think I know you, you´ve got something to do with Queen, right?" and then I realized "You're Jim Beach, aren't you?" Well, yes he was and very kindly he answered my questions (How's the tour going? OK. What's Roger doing? Basically nothing. Any chance to get anything new from Queen? Possibly). He explained he had to leave and I thanked him very much. When he left, everybody around me was nervous: Who's this guy? (remember the command of the english language here in Spain is not so fluent as it should be), What did he say? and, last but not least, how the fuck was I so dumb as not to ask him to take us backstage to meet Brian?” - Paco Andrés

[a34trgv2]

Why It Worked: The Princess and The Frog

Introduction: The Princess and The Frog is an animated musical fantasy romantic comedy film. Directed by John Musker and Ron Clements, the film stars Anika Noni Rose, Bruno Campos, Keith David, Michael-Leon Wooley, Jim Cummings, Jennifer Lewis, Jennifer Cody, John Goodman, Oprah Winfrey and Terrence Howard. The film was released on December 11, 2009 and recieved very positive reviews from critics and audiences (85% of 200 reviews agregated by Rotten Tomatoes gave an average rating of 7.4/10). The film grossed $269 million on a budget of $105 million. For the past decade, I've grown to love this movie more and more with each passing year. Having rewatched it recently, I now firmly believe this is one of Disney's best films. In this post, I'd like to go into detail as to why.

The Plot: Based on the classic Brothers Grimm fairy tale, The Frog Prince, mixed with the material in The Frog Princess by E.D. Maker, this film tells the story of Tiana, a waitress trying to earn enough money to start her own restaurtant. She encounters a talking frog, who's actually Prince Naveen turned into a frog by Dr. Facilier. He agrees to help Tiana get her her restaurant if she helps him turn back into a prince by recreating the classic tale of The Frog Prince. This backfires and now they're both frogs hopping around the buyou with their gator friend, Louis and a cajun firefly named Ray, to find a way to reverse the spell they were put under. The film is really a subversion of classic fairy tale tropes that makes the film feel fresh and new. The goal for our leading lady is not to fall in love with a prince but to make her childhood dream come true. What also makes this film standout is how magical they make New Orleans, paying tributes to jazz music and cajun cuisine. I also found the humor to be very funny, with many of the jokes getting a great laugh out of me. One of the funniest scenes in the film is when Tiana and Naveen outwit a trio of frog hunters. The slapstick and perfect timing had me in stitches. What really makes the story so engaging is the animation. It's too bad Disney hasn't used 2D animation in their recent films (not to say they don't look amazing in 3D) because the animation in the Princess and The Frog is amazing. The character movements feel so smooth and fluid and they're designs are unique and well defined. It should also be noted that some 3D was used for background elements yet are coated with a 2D paint so well you never would've noticed.

Cast and Characters: The cast of this movie did outstanding jobs voicing these characters, who are all well developed and very likable. Starting with our leading lady, Tiana is a smart hardworking woman that's determined to start up her restaurant. She's also sassy, funny and a great cook. Anika Noni Rose was perfect as Tiana as gives the character a very determined and no-nonsense tone in her voice. Prince Naveen starts off as an arrogant playboy that only wants to live a carefree life. However, the more time he spends with Tiana, the more he realizes that not everything is just going to be handed to him. This is especially true during the scene when he and Tiana are making gumbo and he comes to realize he's so used to having everything be done for him that he doesn't even know how to take care of himself. Bruno Campos gave a very stellar performance as Naveen, giving him such charm and funny lines while also selling the more personal aspects of his character. Louis the gator is such a fun comic relief that plays a mean trumpet. He easily brings out some of the best laughs and Michael-Leon Wooley gave a very memorable performance as the character. Ray the cajun firefly just might be one of Jim Cummings' best vocal performances, up there with Darkwing Duck, Pete, and (of course) Winnie The Pooh and Tigger. Ray might appear to have a screw or too loose, but he's actually a really smart, brave and reliable ally who's more than willing to help his friends. His love for Evangeline (which is actually the North Star) feels very genuine even if it might come across as odd at first. Then there's the film's made baddie, Dr. Facilier (often referred to as The Shadow Man). Dr. Facilier is every bit as charming as he is sinister. He's manipulative, he's smart, he's charsmatic and he loves what he does. Keith David was excellent in the role, giving him a deep yet unsettling tone in his voice.

Super Supporting Players: This film has one of the strongest supporting cast I have ever seen. Each of the supporting and even minor characters leave a lasting impression and make the film feel lived in. Lawrence, Naveen's butler, acts as the secondary antagonist of the film, being the catalyst of Naveen's desire for a carefree lifestyle. He sides with the Shadow Man and poses as Naveen while the prince is a frog in order to marry Charlotte La Bouff. Speaking of Charlotte, is very much nothing like the standard spoiled brat. Rather than be snobbish, selfish and rude, Lottie is a true friend to Tiana and is willing to help her get her restaurant. Believe me folks, after having to deal with the likes of Gem Stone, Princess Morbucks, Sincerity (What About Mimi), and Tricia Holmes (6teen), Charlotte is a breath of fresh air. Her father, Eli (aka Big Daddy) is also a very kind and caring figure who, despite spoiling his daughter, clearly raised her well as she gets her generosity from him. Mama Odie is a wise 197 year old blind lady that not only helps our heroes on their journey, but helps them understand the difference between what they want vs what they need. This is echoed by Eudora (Tiana's Mom) earlier in the film, who even in the limited amount of screen time she had exerts such a motherly personality and has authentic chemistry with her daughter. Then there's James (Tiana's Dad), the main driving force behind Tiana's desire to open her restaurant. Despite succumbing to the frequently used "dead parent" trope, every second he's on screen is imperative to the story. He's a kind hard working man who dreamed of opening his own restaurtant with his daughter Tiana. When she tells her Dad about the wishing star, he gives her great advice: "that little star can only take you part of the way. You got to help it along with some hard work of your own and then you can do anything you set your mind to." What truly makes this supporting cast come alive are the stupendous voice work from the actors who portrayed them. Jennifer Cody was fantastic as Lottie, making her sound so energetic and lively. John Goodman is always a treat to hear and he brings such a humble fatherly presence to Eli. Jennifer Lewis perfectly captures the sass and erratic nature of Mama Odie and is an amazing singer. Peter Bartlett right captured the bumbling mannerisms of Lawrence and when he's disguised as Naveen he exerts more confidence in his voice. Oprah Winfrey, who was also a consultant for the film, played Eudora beautifully as a kind and caring mother and they couldn't have picked a better actor than Terence Howard for the role of James.

Songs and Music: Randy Newman is a musical genius! Every single song in this film is written wonderfully with an awesome beat, wonderful lyrics and the amazing vocal talents of the stars. Starting with the opening track after the lovely melody prologue, Down in New Orleans perfectly introduces the audience to this city and what it's like to live here. The late Dr. John brought such authenticity to the song being a New Orleans native and he had great singing chops. Almost There, Tiana's number, is not so much an I want song, but more like "I'm so close I can almost taste it." Anika Noni Rose has great singing talents and carried that long final note like a champ. The villain song, Friends From The Other Side is (in my opinion) one of the best Disney villain songs. It perfectly captures the charismatic and manipulative nature if Dr. Facilier and Keith David's baritone singing makes this all the more memorable. When We're Human is an upbeat song that showcases the excellent singing talents of Anika Noni Rose, Bruno Campos and Michael-Leon Wooley as they sing about what they'll do when they're human. It also makes great use of the trumpet, the go-to instrument for jazz. Ray is given the distinct honor of singing 2 songs, which are polar opposites yet are both wonderfully well crafted musical numbers. The first is Gonna Take You There, which is a classic cajun song in with Ray sings while he and his firefly family take our heroes to Mama Odie's. It's bounce, it's fun, it's makes great use of the accordion, it's just a great song to listen to. The second is Ma Belle Evangeline, a slow yet beautiful love ballad Ray sings for Evangeline. Even though Ray is singing to a star, it feels very genuine with his mix of French compliments and Louis' slow trumpet playing. Than there's the last musical number before the reprise of the opening track, Dig A Little Deeper. This is my personal favorite song in the film, and that's saying something because they're all great. Dig A Little Deeper incorporates a choir of roseate spoonbills to make it look like a church service on Sunday. It also has a great message behind it about finding what you need versus trying to get what you want. Also, Anika Noni Rose coming in with that extra verse was the perfect cherry on top. In addition to these spectacular musical numbers, Randy Newman also made a very memorable score incorporating strings and strong brass for intense scenes and some soft, subtle tunes for the quiet moments. Where the score truly shines is during Ray's death and funeral. From the sad reprise of Ma Belle Evangeline all the way up to the music slowy but surely picking up as Ray essentially becomes the brightness star in the sky next to Evangeline, this scene best showcases what a great score this film has. The song that plays during the credits, Never Knew I Needed by Ne-Yo, was also the picture bookend to the film, capturing the film's central message in a wonderfully crafted pop ballad with a beautiful piano tune.

Where It Falters: 👆. No, seriously this film is still a 10/10 in my book, but I personally would've amended this response from Lottie to "Travis, when I said later, I really meant not ever." Still shoots the guy down but without making her speak for all women. This concludes my meaningless nitpick.

Conclusion: The Princess and The Frog is without a doubt one of Disney's best films and Tiana is my personal favorite Disney Princess. The animation is spectacular, the characters are great, the songs are all wonderful, the voice acting is superb and it delivers a great message of finding what you need versus trying to get what you want. If you haven't seen this film, I highly recommend giving this film a watch on Disney+ if you have it. Thank you so much for reading and I'll see you soon ;)

This addition of Why It Worked is dedicated in memory of my grandmother, Margaret "Peggy" Simpson. I'll see you in Heaven Grandma.

[deejadabbles]

A Thousand Songs (Atem/Yami x Reader)

Chapter Five: Hello, My Old Heart

One /// Two /// Three /// Four /// Five /// (Six coming soon) ///

Summary: You knew that you and your band could make it big. Not only that, but stay together while doing it; the five of you were family, after all. The only problem was that despite all your musical talents...none of you were particularly good at lyrics. After years of struggling to put out your first full album, the solution finally made himself know in chance meeting on an empty stage.

Rock Band AU, Atem x Reader, gender neutral reader.

You could visibly see the poor young man swallowing hard as he settled in the seat across from you and the rest of your bandmates. Try as you might to make the setting casual (cushy chairs instead of a desk, offers of soda and chips, greeting him with an ‘what’s up, my dude?’, etc.) Atem still seemed rather nervous. Not that you blamed him, you distinctly remember Honda making a joke about “oh yeah, ask the dude to come to our secluded studio by himself to meet five strangers, that’s not creepy or anything” when Yugi told you guys how he had invited the man to meet with the rest of you.

“So, Yugi said that you write songs as a hobby?” Anzu began, giving him the warmest smile she could, an effort to ease Atem’s mood.

He nodded, then started unclasping the latch on his leather messenger bag, “That’s right, I’ll admit, I don’t have too many that are finished, but that’s mostly due to boredom and moving on to a new idea, not lack of inspiration.” He then pulled out some papers divided by paperclips. “Here are the songs I think best represent my usual work, the work that’s easiest for me to write as well as what I would prefer to put out there.”

Honda grabbed the small stack and passed out songs to each of you. A bit of an awkward silence fell as you all started reading the various lyrics, but not even that could tarnish how impressed you were with the ones you were reading. Poetic, but not too over the top or pretentious, nice. You glanced up at the others, nodding your head with an impressed smile before switching papers with Yugi to look over another example (you also didn’t miss the way Yugi beamed at you). Now this song struck you, after only reading the first verse you could already hear the beginnings of a beat and chords you could put with the lyrics.

“Yugi also said you have a killer voice,” you said, shifting your eyes from the page to peer up at him.

He gave a cute little cough, “Uh, yes, I suppose I’m not a bad singer.”

You had to actively keep your mind from gushing over how sweet he was. The dude looked like a typical adonis hottie, but his shy outer demeanor just added an extra layer to him. He was wearing something more stylish than the few tabloid pics you’d seen: a long-sleeved black shirt with a silky maroon and gold vest, accessorized with a few rings, bangles, necklaces, and a pair of gold dangling earrings.

You shook the wandering thoughts on his attractiveness away; this was for business, not pleasure. “I was just wondering if you’d mind singing one of the songs for us, that way we can get a feel for the melody you had in mind.”

Again, Atem seemed to swallow something in this throat as a hand reached up to briefly play with one of the flat triangles dripping from his ears. “I suppose I could do that, but, do you mind if I play my violin with it? I’ll find it easier to sing with some music.”

“Of course,” you waved an eager hand, egging him on before handing him back the music sheet in your hand.

His eyes scanned the pages, reminding himself of what song it was before nodding his head and reaching down to the instrument case beside the armchair. Jonouchi had made a comment about Atem carrying his violin everywhere, trying to set a joking mood, but it just caused a flushed Atem to mumble about how he had just picked it up from getting its weekly tuning.

Once Atem was standing, violin in hand, he took a deep breath to collect himself. Then, after two slow heartbeats, he began to play.

The first note was a sorrowful one, long, like a quiet, mournful hum, his slender fingers pulsing to create a wave effect on the sound. Then he was singing. His tone came out like a deep, almost breathy moan, letting the lyrics flow like a story at first- before his tone rose and belted out the chorus.

Atem was captivating, pulling you in with every line, every inflection, making you want to hold your breath lest the sound of it distract from the song. He kept his eyes closed, lost in the music his hands and mouth crafted, and the longer the song went on the more he seemed to relax, to lean into his own notes.

You blinked suddenly, realizing that your mouth had been hanging open just in time to close it before Atem ended his performance on another soaring note and breathy lyric. He stayed like that for a moment, catching his breath, basking in the lingering sound of his song.

Finally, his eyes blinked open and shifted to gauge everyone’s reaction. You weren’t the only one left in awe.

“Holy shit,” Honda breathed.

Yugi’s beaming smile was at maximum sunshine as he leaned into you and whispered, “That’s the song I heard him sing at the theatre, isn’t it beautiful?!”

You nodded and opened your mouth to say something but Anzu beat you to it.

“Can you do that again?” she asked, eager, as she jumped up and walked to her keyboard.

“Are you thinking what I’m thinking?” you asked, also bouncing to your feet and joining her.

Anzu smiled back at you, “Keeping that longer intro and adding keys to it?”

“Yes!” you turned to Jonouchi- who was still staring at Atem like he didn’t quite believe the man was standing there. “Jou, add some drums? Something steady and subtle at first, drawing everyone in before the lyrics start and-”

“-and picking up when the chorus kicks in?” he finished, snapping to attention in an instant, “You got it!”

With that Jonouchi vaulted off the back of the couch, plopping onto the stool at his drum set. Atem was still standing there, now looking a bit bewildered and amused as he watched everyone get to work, perhaps some pride shining in his eyes that his music had inspired it.

“Atem?” you asked, tone gentle and drawing his attention back to you, “Can you play that again?” you repeated Anzu’s question, seeing as how she was fully engrossed in her keys now.

Again, the man seemed hesitant, “Shouldn’t you be taking over, you’re the lead singer after all.”

“Dude, we have to keep that violin track,” you insisted, finding your voice breathy as you pointed at Atem, “It’s perfect for the song, it’s deep and beautiful and-” speechless, you gave an exaggerated chef’s kiss to emphasize just how much you meant what you were touting.

The expression earned you a smile from the violinist, a hint of bashfulness mixing with the fresh and rising pride. “Alright, if you think it will improve the song.” With that, Atem lifted his violin, took another deep breath, and started the song again.

***

It was strange how no hands had officially shaken, no one even told Atem he was hired, but that session was immediately followed up by the band asking when his next free day was and asking him to come back for another practice session. Atem had never intended on actually playing with the band, but, when they acted so enthralled with his playing, he could hardly say no.

The next time they got together (almost a week after their first meeting) Atem found himself just as nervous as when he first met them. Parking outside their studio, he found his chest heating up with some anxiety. Atem never was good around people, after all.

Hello, my old heart

How have you been?

Are you still there inside my chest?

He rubbed his hands against the steering wheel, letting out a long breath and holding it a moment, before making himself grab his violin case and climb out of the car. His feet crunching on the gravel driveway grounded him a bit and he had managed to calm down slightly before knocking on the studio door.

I've been so worried, you've been so still

Barely beating at all

He heard the sound of laughter coming closer on the other side of the door and a moment later it opened, revealing you in the doorway and more laughter echoing yours in the next room.

“Atem, there you are! Come on in,” you stepped aside and waved an inviting arm.

Atem felt the heat in his chest climb up his neck, “Sorry, am I late?”

“Huh?” You then waved your hand again as you shut the door behind him, “Oh no don’t worry, we just got here early, that’s all.”

He heard someone else call his name before he even got to the room where everyone was sitting, and by the time he did enter, the whole band was waving and greeting him. He cleared his throat before nodding back to everyone and saying a weak ‘hello’ before you spoke again.

“Come on, sit down and chill for a bit before we get started,” you waved at a beat-up arm chair even as you perched on its armrest.

Atem realized with a quick look around that there was nowhere better for you to sit and you were likely offering him your own seat. “Oh, that’s alright, I don’t want to steal your seat-”

Before his offer to sit on the floor was out, you shook your head, “Dude, we can’t have our muse sitting in a creaky fold-up chair, at least sit on the other arm so I don’t topple it!” You laughed again as Honda made some comment about how a topple would probably bust the thing in half.

His cheeks were hot now, but he took the offer with grace (or at least, as much grace as he could muster) and perched himself on the other armrest, setting his violin on the actual seat. Atem also remembered how last time, he had been offered the armchair while Anzu took the creaky fold-up chair. Everyone here really seemed to care about making him comfortable.

Hello, my old heart

It's been so long

Since I've given you away

When was the last time he met anyone who had greeted him with such...openness? Such compassion. And a whole group of someones at that...

He cleared his throat again, trying to draw himself out of his wandering thoughts. “So, are we just going to work out more of the music today?”

And every day, I add another stone

To the walls I built around you

To keep you safe

Everyone seemed to respect his want to get down to business, perhaps thinking that he had other engagements, and only chit-chatted for a handful of minutes, before getting down to their rehearsal. It went well, just as the previous session had, and Atem found himself in awe of how well the creative process of making notes together flowed. Just like that first day, everyone seemed to work off of each other so well, bounding ideas left and right, almost always being on the same page. Even when they weren’t, there were just a few goodhearted jabs and sighs before working everything out.

Again Atem found himself shaking his thoughts away. He really should stop, it wasn’t wise to get attached to this process, these sessions, these people. After all, he was just their ghostwriter, nothing more.

Oh, don't leave me here alone

Don't tell me that we've grown

For having loved a little while

He found himself smiling again despite himself, when you started throwing popcorn kernels at Jonouchi; retribution for a comment about how you needed to change the chords up in the third chorus.

“I’m not changing it,” you said with your tongue sticking out, all while Jou looked affronted at your kernel bombing. “It’s a steady beat, that’s the whole point! Right, Atem?”

At the sound of his name, Atem’s eyes went wide, “Uh- What?”

“Eh, don’t drag him to your side!” Jonouchi pouted, tossing some popcorn from his lap back in your direction.

“I’m not dragging, I’m asking his opinion, there’s a difference,” you said matter of factly, then turned back to Atem, who was sweating a bit now, “What do you think, Atem? Are the same chords during the third chorus too boring? Or does it fit the subtle, powerful nature of the song?”

“You’re leading his answer!” Jonouchi countered, again looking appalled, then squawking as you tossed more popcorn at him.

Atem was a bit distracted by the way Honda kept laughing as Jou picked kernels out of his shirt, but eventually he managed to swallow thickly and answer your question. “I actually like the way you have it now, if I’m being honest.”

You beamed at him, stuck your tongue out at Jonouchi in victory, then held the popcorn bowl out to Atem. “Thank you, my muse! Here, have some brain food.”

His face was heating up again at nickname- or, dare he say, endearment? However, even as he blushed, and took a handful of popcorn, he couldn’t keep that smile from making yet another appearance.

Oh, I don't wanna be alone

I wanna find a home

And I wanna share it with you

When everyone called the day's session to an end, Atem tried not to feel...disappointed. Stop that , he told himself again, this was not something to get attached to. As everyone packed their notes away, Honda started asking about dinner.

“Heeey if I give you a ride to work, think you can get me a discount on nachos again?” he asked, turning to you with an eyebrow wiggle.

You scoffed, “Dude, the boss was barely okay with that one time I did it, I can’t convince her again. But I can just buy your nachos if you really want.”

“Where do you work?” Atem found himself asking, far too late to stop himself from getting involved.

“Oh- ever heard of The Mark? It’s a bar downtown.”

Atem shook his head, feeling a bit embarrassed. Admittedly, the only bar he had been in since college was the high-end one in his apartment building.

You didn’t seem to take notice of his embarrassment though and just shrugged, “It’s only popular to a certain crowd. Anyway,” you continued, turning back to Honda, “give me a ride and I’ll buy you nachos.”

“Okay, all this talk of nachos has me hungry,” Jonouchi groaned, “Let’s go with em, Yug.”

Anzu perked up at that, nodding to you as she said, “You know, I’ve really been craving your specialty daiquiris. Jou, got room in your truck for me?”

“Sure,” the drummer shrugged as everyone started milling towards the door.

Yugi was smiling brightly as he held the door open for everyone, “Guess it’s a band outing now! Atem, you want to join? You can follow us to the bar, it isn’t far.”

As his feet were once again crunching on the gravel drive, Atem had to stop. He looked back to the group, ready to see at least one of them giving an uneasy expression at the invitation, if not an outright protest.

Instead, he saw Anzu nodding her head eagerly while Honda locked up the studio. Neither you nor Jonouchi looked wary of the suggestion and instead just looked to him for an answer.

You must have thought he needed further prompting, because you said, “Hey, our ‘girls night’ plate of nachos is more than big enough for all of you.”

Atem had to swallow another something in his throat. All of you were already inviting him out for drinks?

Hello, my old heart

How have you been?

“I- sorry, I have to get up early in the morning. Thank you, though.” Atem could only cast his eyes to the ground during the half-lie.

How is it being locked away?

He saw something flicker in Yugi’s eyes, but he was quick to hide it with a smile. “Okay, maybe next time.”

Your smile matched Yugi’s as everyone headed to Jou’s truck and Honda’s bike, “Have a good night, Atem.”

Don't you worry, in there you're safe

“See you next week,” Anzu waved.

All he could manage was a nod as he turned towards his own car.

And it's true, you'll never beat

But you'll never break

It only took one more session to get the rest of the music figured out, and then it was time to record. Atem was interested in the process, how the five of you set up the sound equipment, what programs you used, he even asked you how you had installed padding to improve the sound quality.

The video part of the recording would be left for later, right now it was just the song to worry about- though you did make a point to tell Atem that you wanted to discuss setting ideas for the video soon. Atem felt his heart swell a bit at that. Not that he wanted to admit it, but he was glad that you wanted to involve him in every step of the song. This song in particular, this first one that had so enthralled Yugi first, was likely one of the more personal ones Atem had written.

Your voice rose with the chorus, fingers dancing gracefully against the bridge of the guitar, and Atem found himself admiring how well suited your voice was to his lyrics. A perfect fit. Though you likely had no way of knowing the background behind this song or why Atem had written it, you belted the lyrics with passion and depth, cared for every bar as if you were singing from the depths of your heart.

Maybe you were. Music spoke to more than just those who wrote it, perhaps not in the same ways, but that hardly mattered.

He heard the way the ending lyric stole your breath, and his violin hummed its final note with you in a harmony Atem had admired a dozen times during these rehearsals. When the last note ended, everyone waited a moment, seeming to hold their breaths, before daring to move. When everyone did, Jonouchi was already bounding over to the computer hooked up to the recording mics. With a few clicks and a quick look over something on the screen, the blonde gave a clap of his hands.

“We got it! That should be all we need for a high quality recording.”

Everyone cheered or hooted at that, and Yugi made a comment about finally having something new to give their fans. Atem was smiling with the rest of them, but he was failing to ignore the way his chest ached just a bit. The song was done, and, unless they asked him to join them on stage, Atem supposed this was the last time he would play with the band.

Writing songs for them was all nice in of itself, but, despite all his personal warnings not to, he would be lying if he said he hadn’t grown a bit attached to these evenings and nights with the band.

Oh, I don't wanna be alone

I wanna find a home

And I wanna share it with you

A sudden call of his name had Atem jolting back to the present, and he saw you standing beside him, a hint of concern creasing your brow. “Everything okay?”

“Uh-” he cleared his throat, “-yes, I’m alright,” he lied, just as he had lied to deny himself the after-work drinks weeks ago. “I was just thinking, we got so caught up in recording this song, that none of you got the chance to discuss if any others were to your liking.”

“What, any of your other songs?” Honda asked, and when Atem nodded, he literally waved the comment off, “Dude, I’m pretty sure we liked all the examples you gave us, right guys?”

“Definitely!” Yugi didn’t miss the chance to boost Atem’s ego (or rather, soothe any worries). “We actually looked over your other songs the other day, and all of us agree we want to record all of them. I told you you were a perfect fit for us!”

The words, as well as the wink Yugi gave, did make Atem smile, but it didn’t do much to alleviate the root of his woe. “I’m glad they fit with the band so well. If you want to know the melodies or themes I had in mind for any of the other songs as well, please don’t hesitate to ask.”

That seemed to give everyone pause.

Nothing lasts forever

Atem watched as they began giving each other looks, very pointed looks, in turns, and he couldn’t ignore the sinking sensation in his chest. They seemed to silently agree on something a moment later, because Anzu spoke up as her eyes turned back to Atem.

“Actually, we were talking about that a lot too…”

Some things aren't meant to be

Atem swallowed hard, heart starting to pound in his ears. Perhaps he wasn’t good enough, perhaps they thought him too pretentious, or maybe he had overstepped the boundaries of his role here, maybe he and his violin didn’t-

“How would you feel about joining the band for the whole album?”

But you'll never find the answers

Until you set your old heart free

Again, your voice put a break on Atem’s reeling thoughts, and he had to blink to collect himself again. “I- you mean, you want me to play for the other songs as well?”

More looks were exchanged, quick ones this time, before Yugi chimed in next. “We talked it over a lot the past week and we all agree that you gel with us pretty well! And not only that, but your violin really adds a lot to our music, we’d really love for you to record more songs with us, not just write them.”

Until you set your old heart free

Now Atem’s heart was pounding in his ears for a whole other reason. He almost wanted to smack himself when he felt the widest, most giddy grin he ever remembered smiling spread across his face.

“I would like that very much,” he said, cheeks going a bit warm when everyone was returning his smile.

Hello, my old heart

“So what are we waitin’ for?” Jonouchi jumped in, all enthusiasm and eagerness, “What song are we doing next?”

That sparked conversation, and everyone started chiming in with their votes almost immediately, Yugi and Anzu even digging out Atem’s sheet music for references. Atem could only take the scene in with a smile that was widening the more he watched them bicker good-heartedly.

And he was glad he had gotten attached to this process, these sessions, to these people.

I wanna share it with you

[hoodharlow]

El Cumpleñero

AN: Fatass shout out to @aliencal​ and @hoodschick​ for letting me bounce ideas around, esp the last scene. And to my girl @d-oaks​ for editing as usual.

Request: 1 & 73 with Cal please? xxxxx “Stay here tonight.” “I missed you.”

Warnings: mentions of alcohol, smut, mentions of toxic relationships towards the end

Word Count: 3.5k words

January 2019

“Here, you can borrow something. Again, I’m so sorry.” Calum stammered as he guided Claudia in his room. He’s mentally punching himself; the one chance he had to impress her, he blew it by splashing beer all over her dress.

“Don’t worry about it, Calum. It was a moment of celebration. It’s not everyday we beat Luke and Sierra at beer pong. Plus, I finally get to raid your closet.” She reassured him.  

Claudia grabbed his white dress shirt with the thin black lines and went into the bathroom. She rummaged in her bag until she found some safety pins to pin them inside his shirt, so it looks better fitted on her. The shirt stopped a bit after the curve of her ass. Her long black boots gave her extra oomph, and she decided to slip on her leather jacket to give more attention to her ass. 

Calum was left speechless when she walked out of the bathroom. Sure, he had imagined her in one of his shirts, but he was not prepared for the actual thing. He caught a peek of the black lace covering her breast. Also enjoying how the bottom hugged her ass perfectly. Wordlessly, they walked out of his room. 

Drake’s verse in SICKO MODE echoed through the house, reminding her that Michael was in charge of music.  He  had volunteered to be the party’s designated DJ in the group chat where they had planned Calum’s party.  Luke said he was just going to connect his phone to Spotify and see what played. 

Duke ran up to her, standing on his hind legs to get her attention. 

"Duquito! I missed you, babas." Claudia exclaimed. She picked him up and kissed all over his face. She started to baby talk to him. Duke rested his head on her shoulder, and Calum never felt more jealous of his dog.

“You saw him less than five minutes ago.” 

“I know, those are five minutes too long without my Duquito.”

Calum shook his head at her comment. He reached for her hand and guided them to where the rest of the boys were. 

Luke and Sierra gave each other a knowing look when they saw the pair approach them hand in hand. They both claimed that Calum and Claudia are dating, but Ashton knew that they weren’t. Calum confided in him that she broke up with her boyfriend of three years in September, and he didn’t think it was okay for him to make moves on her. 

Calum sat down on one of the seats with Claudia taking a seat on his lap. He casually rested his arm around her waist and played with the hem of his shirt as they talked to the group. It was a simple gesture, but Claudia couldn’t help thinking about how his fingers would feel in her or while he gripped her hips as he fucked into her. 

“I'm gonna get another drink,” Claudia told him as she slid off his lap.

Calum watched her beeline to the makeshift bar with Duke on her trail. He looked back at the group, and everyone stared at him. 

“What?” He said, taking a sip of his beer.

“You need to make a move. She fucking likes you. You have to be blind to not see it, Cal.” Sierra said. 

Before Calum was able to respond, Ashton beat him to it. “You've got to be kidding me. She actually showed up.”

All their heads turned to look at the one person Calum didn't want there.

***

“Hey you might want to slow down. You've taken like eight shots of Patrón.” Claudia suggested as Calum poured himself another shot and one for her, sliding it to her. He downed his without a second thought.

“Well, what would you do when you see your ex at your birthday party?” Calum asked, downing another shot.

“Well, I hid in my room, watched all the Barbie movies on Netflix and kept sending my niece to bring me food until it was time to cut the cake.” Claudia replied. She was still angry that Paco was invited to the party. It was supposed to be just a family thing, so she made up the excuse that she had a bunch of homework to avoid going downstairs. Instead, she wrapped herself up in her blanket and ate gelatina.

“You also Facetimed me, remember?” They FaceTimed for a good three hours after his show. 

“Oh, yeah.”

“Okay, fine.  I’m taking your advice and going to watch Barbie in my room. Let’s go.” He stood up, knocking down his chair. Duke, who had been napping on Claudia’s lap, jolted awake. She caught him before he fell to the ground.

“I didn’t say that! I was only telling you what I did.” Claudia giggled. Her phone buzzed, showing a picture of her dad. She cursed, sliding her phone open. “Hi, papi.”

“Is that your dad?” Calum asked, shoving his face on her phone. “Hi, Mr. Santos.” 

Calum took Claudia’s phone and started talking to her dad. She passed Duke to Calum's lap and went to the kitchen to the fridge and got out the cake. 

"You don't seem like the type Cal goes for." Calum's ex said from behind her, startling Claudia and nearly making her drop the cake.

"Excuse me?" Claudia asked, confused. She turned back, looking to see who she was talking to. No one else was within ear shot, so she was obviously talking to her.

"Nothing, just expected more I guess. I mean," she gestured to herself. She was light skin and beautiful, the opposite of Claudia. 

Claudia knew deep down Calum wouldn't go for someone like her. A brown and ordinary college student. "Um, I'm not sure what you're trying to say. If you'll excuse me."

Calum watched Claudia grab the cake and candles and headed to the yard. Luke met her halfway and took the cake off her hands. Calum turned back to his ex, who was rummaging through his fridge as if she was welcomed in his home.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Calum asked her.

“I was invited, duh” She said, rolling her eyes. 

Calum looked over his yard where Sierra and Claudia were clearing a table for the cake while they laughed at something Luke said. 

“She’s cute. Though you could've done better. She's a bit… simple."

"I think you should leave." Calum said.

His ex sauntered over to him, smirking. He recognized that smirk, it was the one she always plastered on her face when she preyed on someone or something. Calum took a step back and she followed by taking one towards him. She laid her hand on his chest, grabbing a fist full of his shirt.

"Oh shit, sorry. I, uh, Ashton asked me to get you. I'll tell him you're...busy." Claudia stammered from the entrance way. Calum noticed her cheeks slightly flushed, as she stepped back to the yard.

"You're right, I should go." His ex let go of his shirt and smoothed it out. "You should go cut your cake."

"Fuck off." Calum slid away from her. Her cackle echoed through his ears when he went to meet his friends. 

Claudia felt like she was in a telenovela, and she was the dumb protagonist that caught the person she loved with the person they needed to be with. She even did the dramatic running away scene. All she needed was Calum to go after her.

"Claudia,"Calum called her.

Chingada madre, she thought. She turned around and looked at him. 

"Look what you saw back there wasn't what—"

"You don't have to explain yourself to me. Again, I'm sorry for interrupting." She made her way to Sierra, throwing an arm around her whispering something in her ear earning a laugh. Claudia watched as some of the party goers joined them and sang to Calum. 

Calum solemnly walked over to friends. The rest of the band joined him and took pictures with him. They did some Charlie's Angels poses.

"Your turn Claudia." Ashton nudged her.

"Oh, no I'm fine. I'm not a picture person." She began.

"We took like a million selfies in the bathroom when I got here. What do you mean you hate pictures?" Sierra asked. 

"Here's Duke so it can be like a family picture." Ashton said. 

Calum caught the teasing tone. He quickly glared at him when he grabbed Duke. 

Claudia made her way over and near him. Duke squirmed in Calum's arms wanting to go with Claudia. She grabbed him and on instinct he laid his head on his chest. She felt Calum's arm wrap around her waist, pulling her closer to him. The picture was taken and Claudia quickly pulled away from Calum's grip. She went over to the bar and drank, downing  shot after shot after shot. She closed her eyes, letting the alcohol do its thing. 

A plate of cake landed in front of her. She looked up and met Ashton's hazel eyes. She poured herself another shot in disappointment that it wasn't Calum.

"You shouldn't let her rile you up. She does that all the time to piss Cal off." Ashton explained, stealing her shot.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She said, poking at the slice. She spent all morning baking the cake. It was red velvet with vanilla cream cheese buttercream. She got the "H" in Happy Birthday that she promptly smeared.

"Please, one moment both of you are oozing sexual tension and the next you can't even look at each other. His ex was something else quite honestly. In the time that they were together I never saw them act the way you both do. He's happy around you." Ashton patted her hand and went over to the boys. 

***

An hour so passed, and the party died down. It was just their little group now. Even Roy had left with a girl he had met. After helping pick up most of the Solo cups and bottles, Claudia wandered back to Calum's room to get her bag. She dumped her bag on his bed looking for her phone. Then she remembered Calum had it when he hijacked her call. 

The door opened making her jump. It was Duke and Calum. Duke trotted over to her wanting cuddles from her.

"Hey," they said simultaneously.

"Do you have my phone?" Claudia asked him. 

"Yeah, here." He dug in his pocket and pulled it out. 

"Thanks, I need to get a ride home." She said, checking the prices between Uber and Lyft. 

"Stay here tonight. It's late. I don't want you in a car with some stranger. I've read one too many articles about rideshare apps being the new way human traffickers kidnap young women." Calum said.

"Fine." She said, closing the app. He had a point, not to mention she had one too many drinks. 

"Okay, yeah. I'll drop you off in the morning."

"It's morning right now." She showed him her screen. It said 1:28 am.

"The reasonable morning, smart ass." He said, earning a giggle from her.

They made their way down when they bumped into Michael.

"We should get going. I'll come by and get the speakers tomorrow." Michael told them. 

"Just text me." Calum said. He lifted the arm he had around Claudia and fist bumped him. 

"We should get going too. Ash, you need a ride?" Luke asked him. 

Ashton glanced at the Calum and Claudia. "Yeah."

They made plans to meet up for a late lunch before bidding each other goodbye. Calum watched Claudia make her way to the kitchen and pull out a pizza box from the oven. She grabbed a paper towel and placed a few slices on it, sitting on the counter to munch on it.

“What?” She giggled when Calum approached her. Without thinking he grabbed her wrist and bit the slice she was eating. Claudia let out a dramatic gasp. “There’s plenty more in the box, why did you eat mine?” 

“Because I’m the birthday boy, and I can eat what I want,” he said. 

Claudia opened her legs, letting Calum take a step closer to her. 

“Well, actually it’s almost two in the morning. Your birthday ended a few hours ago.” She said matter of factly and took a generous bite of her pizza all the while turning  back to point at the time on the microwave. 

“Pretty girl, no one likes a smart ass.” Calum said, leaning closer to her. He caged her in with his body, not that she minded. 

Claudia took in his scent, bright and woody cologne mixed with  tequila. It was a comforting scent, as if she was at home. She looked up at Calum, and he glanced down to her lips. 

He met her eyes and pushed back some of her curls before cupping her face with one hand and using the other to balance himself on the counter. His hand landed on the napkin piled with pizza and slid. 

Claudia let out a snort. “Smooth, Cal.”

“I get a do-over. It’s my birthday.” Calum said candidly. 

“It’s not your—”

He cupped her face with both hands, which was what he needed to do in the first place, and kissed her. The kiss was slow, a test of  water, but urgency took over soon. Claudia’s hand twisted against his shirt. Their tongues battled for dominance, and Calum won. They kissed for what seemed ages until they needed to breathe.

They both pulled away, winded. 

“No one likes a smart ass, pretty girl.” Calum panted. 

Claudia rolled her eyes. Then she threw her arms around Calum, pulling him back to her and kissed him. Calum pushed himself against her legs to give him better access. His hands grabbed her ass and grinded her against his crotch. Claudia threw her neck back, revelling in how good Calum felt against her. She mentally gave herself a pat on the back for wearing full lace panties. 

Calum nipped and sucked down her neck to find her sweet spot. He barely caught her strangled moan when he nipped the spot between her jaw and neck. He repeated his actions, earning a louder moan from her. He smiled against her neck, wondering how she would sound when he makes her cum time after time.

“Bedroom,” Claudia moaned. 

"Yeah?" 

"Yeah."

The walk to Calum's room took seconds, but it was going to take longer to go inside of it. Claudia was pinned up against the wall next to his room. While they kissed, she impatiently unbuttoned the shirt revealing her black lace number. 

Calum was rendered speechless. He let go of her and kissed all the small tattoos sprinkled all over her tummy. He kneeled down when he got to the ones near her hips and stomach. He lowered the waistband of her panties and kissed the small 'wildflower' tattoo on her hip bone. 

"These look nice on you, pretty girl." Calum said, toying with the waistband of her panties. "But I think they'll look better on the floor."

"Guess, we won't know unless we see it." Claudia teased. 

With that Calum gripped the sides and tore her panties off . 

"No mames! Those were my SavageFenty chonis!" Claudia exclaimed. She had joined the Xtra VIP exclusively for those panties. 

"I'll get you a new pair." Calum shrugged as he gently pushed Claudia against the wall and tugged off her boots. He lifted one of her legs, placing it on his shoulder. Meeting Claudia's gaze, he licked his lips and kissed around her thighs. He adjusted her legs for better access to her. 

With one lick Claudia was ruined. She nearly toppled to the ground. Luckily the grip she had on Calum's curls helped her stay up. Her grip only tightened as Calum squeezed her ass as he continued to have her. He bent his arm to rub her clit. At first it felt strange to have fingers that weren't hers rubbing her clit, but she loved how Calum's felt. 

"Fuck! Calum!" She moaned. 

"Love your taste, pretty girl." He stated. 

Claudia felt a familiar tug in her stomach. Before she could process what was happening, she yelled out Calum's name pleasure. He continued to rub her clit until her high wore down. He gently dropped her leg and held on to her hips keeping her balance. 

Claudia had closed her eyes, trying to control her breathing. The last time she panted like this was when she had to run across Cal State Long Beach because she mixed up her Tuesday/Thursday classes with her Monday/Wednesday a few days ago.

***

"I'm sorry. I swear I wanted this. I just— I get it if you hate me and never wanna see me again. I'm gonna go." Claudia said. She wrapped the bed sheet around her chest and looked for her clothes.

Everything was going great. He had gone down on her again, and she gladly returned the favor. They made out some more. Then Calum reached for a condom. That was when shit hit the fan. Claudia pushed him away and called him by her ex's name.

"Claudia," Calum called her as she walked away. He quickly put on his boxers and went after her. He found her outside hugging her knees, crying. "Hey, what happened back there?"

Claudia wasn't with him. She was in the backseat of Paco's Honda Civic. She had driven down for Labor Day weekend because her Friday class was canceled, so she decided to go visit her family. She texted Paco if he wanted to go to Las Cuatro Milpas after work. After eating they went to Por Vida for an horchata latte. Claudia found a chafita version of Por Vida in Long Beach, but their horchata lattes were abysmal. 

They drove back to his place. His parents were in Mexico and his little sister was at her friend's house. They had house to themselves. Much for Claudia's dismay. 

The hangout started normal. They were in the living room watching some Fast and Furious marathon when Paco started to get handsy. Like Danny when he took Sandy to the drive-in theater. Claudia began to feel uncomfortable. 

"Paco, stop." She shrugged him off for the nth time within the hour she was there.

"Baby, you know you like it." He began to bite her neck and grope her breasts. 

"Paco, I said stop." She said pushing him off her.

He glared at her as he let her go. "I'm getting sick and tired of you acting like a fucking prude, Claudia. We've been together for three years. I should get something out of it."

"I'm starting to feel uncomfortable. Can you please take me home?" 

"No." 

"You're unbelievable." 

"I'm just asking you for one thing."

"No, you're not. Sex is more than one thing. It's a lot deeper than that."

"You're full shit, Claudia, and I'm done."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you can suck my dick one day, but the next you won't let me touch you. We're done, get out of my house."

"Paco, you can't do that to us. Was all the shit you went through with Danny, not worth us." Tears streamed down her cheeks as she spoke.

"You're not worth anything. The next fool that has to deal with your prude ass is just going to leave. I was doing you a favor for when we broke up eventually. No one wants a fucking a virgin." 

Calum placed a hand on her knee, startling Claudia. She blinked up at him, tears still free falling. He reached over and wiped away her tears. She pushed him away and began picking her up her clothes. 

“Did I do something wrong? If I did, I’m sorry.” Calum said.

"You're good, it's all me." She dismissed him. She turned back and saw the look on his face. His brows were furrowed and he was in deep thought. He was beating himself up. Claudia dropped her shoulders in defeat. "I’ve never had sex. Which was the real reason why my ex broke up with me, not the distance or whatever excuse he used to make me look bad. He said that no one wanted a virgin and that I'm not—"

Calum wrapped her up his arms. She tensed, but then relaxed. Claudia held on to him as she cried. She never told anyone the real story. She felt a bit embarrassed, but overall relieved that huge weight on her shoulders was gone.

"He's a selfish idiot." Calum said. He pushed back some of her hair and kissed her forehead. "I'm sorry if I pressured you into something you aren't ready for."

"You didn't do anything wrong, except rip my SavageFenty panties." She began. "I felt safe with you. You made it seem like you care about me."

"I do, you know, care about you. I've had feelings for you for a while, to be honest." 

"I know, and I also like you too. You're the best." 

Claudia pulled his head down and kissed him. It was a reassuring kiss. It let them know what they mean for each other. They'll take things slow, and see where things go from here. 

[msilwrites]

(A 3AM Update) A True Gentleman, Chapter 19 - Taking back her life

A/N: Hi guys, Chapter 19 is up! Some lighthearted comedy here and there too. Not really much of a plot device, but we're approaching how to handle the reality of Diana's situation as she tries to take her life back. Tell me what you think in the comments below, and Enjoy reading!

NINETEEN

Taking back her life

Diana looked at the dating app on her phone and read the exchange of messages with her date. After the first time, in a long time, she was finally going out on a 'date'.

The guy who she had been chatting with seemed kind enough. In fact, she had chatted with him for a few weeks before even deciding to go out with him. She definitely does not want some asshole. Once bitten, twice shy. She has learned her lesson after all the years of being in an abusive relationship.

Again, sadly, she left the house through her bedroom window, not wanting to see Isaac. It had been weeks since they have seen each other. The only thing she heard was his voice and the sound of his footsteps around the house. In fact, he tried knocking on her bedroom door, only to be met with silence. She had been pretending to not be around for some time now, and the only time she talked to him was through phone messages, telling him that she had already paid the rent.

His attempts of communicating further were also met with silence on the other side of the line. If he was lucky, she would give him a late response as she was determined to cut herself from him emotionally.

**********

When Diana arrived at the place that she and her date agreed upon, she saw the open park theatre filled with orchestra musicians, packing their instruments. It appears that they had just finished their rehearsals.

She looked to her side, and there on one of the benches, seated, was a handsome man, reading through countless music sheets. She walks in his direction and clears her throat to get his attention.

"Maestro... I'm Diana Rutherford..."

**********

It was a funny reason why Diana had agreed on this date in the first place. First of all, it wasn't for something romantic. Her date is actually a music executive, composer and orchestra director who went to the dating app, only to find a replacement singer who can sing opera in alto-soprano for a small formal charity benefit to be held at the park. Second, she needed someone to talk to, and he and she happen to get along well. Nothing more.

Diana, with opera training, and whose voice happens to fall under alto-soprano, agreed, with a bit of hesitation, of course, thinking if this was legit or not. Furthermore, there was a promise of payment, which made her finally give in. Taking on a part-time job was not so bad after all, especially that she needed some extra funds.

"Uhhmmm, how do I address you?" was her first question. Of course, she knows his name. An epitome of tall, dark and handsome, he carried this air of quiet respect. So she wanted to be polite.

"By my name would be great" was his reply, accompanied with a disarming smile.

" Alright, Aedan... " she cleared her throat and sat up straight.

"Well, I'm just curious, what were you doing in the app with a fake profile? You don't look like you needed to do that" he states, seeing that she was nothing like the way she describes in her profile.

"I was looking for someone to date... no erase that, I was hoping for someone to talk to... the app was a convenient tool, especially, with the anonymity that the internet provided, but then I found you and that weird ad/ profile of yours." was her straight and honest answer.

He laughs at how honest she was. "Can't you afford a therapist? " he asked playfully.

" I can, but I can't afford to book a session with him every day... that will drain my funds" she reasons, and he chuckles at how direct yet funny she sounded.

"Don't you have friends?"

"Of course! I have friends! But..."

"But?"

"But I can't possibly worry them enough and stress them out. I can't be dependent on them for everything. There are also some things I can't discuss with them, you know? there are limits..."

"Like how you had been in love with their father for a long time?" he adds, remembering that she mentioned this to him before when they chatted in the app.

" Yep... see how that sounds like? 'Daddy Issues'. I mean I do admit, I have that. I will definitely get disowned by my friends if those issues come to light..." she sighs. "Oh, by the way, where are your other singers? and why did you have to find a singer using the dating app?" she adds.

He sighs, " One is currently busy with her children, a few of them preparing for their final papers, the others are currently overseas, travelling, no one is available on the date of the performance..."

"Oh... yes, that is a problem..." she nodded in agreement. " But why the app? It's unconventional..." she reasons.

He laughs " It's unconventional, but it was fast and it worked! I found you! You do realize that the app isn't only about dating!" he says, referring to the 'social' part where you find people or groups of like-minded people.

"Err... so do you plan to continue dating ?"

"No... I've deleted the app,"

"Ha? But why?"

"I didn't like some messages I've received from some..." he said, shaking his head and feeling the hair on the back of his head, stand. It creeped him out just remembering those inappropriate messages.

"Well... I can only imagine..." she said, understanding that he must've received some 'thirsty' messages that anyone will be uncomfortable reading, due to how attractive he is.

"Why did you click my profile?"

" Well... obviously, I swiped right because you're an attractive man... you look like a clean-cut version of 'Ross Poldark', other than that, I would have not talked to you, if not for what you've written in your bio."

" I like your honesty!" he declares and threw his head back laughing.

"Thank you..."

"Did you really have opera training?" he asked, still in doubt.

"Yes, I started during the sixth form, my grandmother sent me to lessons to build my confidence and voice...It even became my elective back in university... Then I joined choirs, sang oratorios... so on and so forth... I sang with the choir in church and there were times I sang part-time as a soloist in some events. I enjoyed those times, "

" What made you stop? Singing I mean?"

"I... I..." she paused for a moment, finding a clear way to explain what happened. " I got into a relationship... "

"Let me guess... he was either possessive or abusive?" he guessed, already knowing which was it.

"Both actually... he didn't like me being looked at when I sang... I guess he wanted the audience to close their eyes during a song..." she recalls, remembering the incident with her ex, Jesse.

Aedan laughed and nodded in agreement. Hearing such situations wasn't new to him. He had a few incidents before where a soloist came to a rehearsal with a black eye. Abusive people demand the victim's attention solely focused on them, and try to cut off the victim from the activities they love.

"I do hope you are no longer with that man... I don't want another soloist coming to a rehearsal unable to sing properly because she is injured... don't get me wrong, I may want the performance to be perfect, but I do care for people, and I do feel the pain when I see such situations..."

"Yes... don't worry, I've broken up with him a long time ago," she assured.

"Good!" he exclaims and after a while, remembers something and looks at his watch. "Rehearsals resume in an hours time. Let's have lunch, and we will test your voice later"

**********

"What made you want to sing again? If I may ask?" Aedan said, waiting for the orchestra to return to their seats.

"It's just... I want my life back, Aedan... I just want to go back to what I used to be" was her answer, and he understood.

"Alright..." Aedan taps his baton on the podium, signalling everyone that they were about to start rehearsal. He calls in another person, and another man enters the stage.

"Diana, this is Max, your duet, Max, this is Diana, your new partner!" Aedan introduces.

Diana looked at Max and her mouth hung agape in admiration. if Aedan is handsome, so is Max! Tall, dark, and ruggedly handsome, bearing a fleeting resemblance to Hugh Jackman. She smiled, and giggled to herself, thanking her lucky stars for being surrounded by handsome men today. This would definitely be a good step to move on.

"Diana," Max stretches his hand out for a handshake and she gives them a tight squeeze, whilst smiling like a schoolgirl at him.

"You can ogle at him later, all you want, if you pass the 'audition', Diana!" Aedan teased, earning him a grimace from her. He chuckled at her reaction but quickly asked her to stand straight and get ready for vocal warm-ups.

Aedan sits adjacent to the grand piano and plays the keys for the duet to warm up. After the vocal warm-ups, he goes back to his podium and the orchestra sat in position.

"We have a tradition in this group, every time there is a new singer... as a welcome, she is to sing-" Aedan waves his baton and the began to play the introductory part of the song 'Libiamo ne' lieti calici' which was followed by Max baritone voice, singing the first verse and turning to Diana with a smile.

"How appropriate," she smiled, knowing that it was quite a welcoming song and felt the excitement in her heart to sing once again. And when her turn came, she took a deep breath and without hesitation and care of the possibility of singing out of tune, she gave it her all.

When the song was about to close, the orchestra plays increases their tempo, so as the two duets and then together, they hit the high note with their voices, closing the brindisi.

Diana catches her breath, it was definitely a struggle for her to hit the note, how long has it been since she sang? Years. However, she was met by applause by the orchestra musicians, her duet partner, and the director, Aedan, which came to her as a surprise, because she knew she didn't hit every note right.

"Welcome to the group, Diana!" Max smiles, giving her a squeeze in her hand.

"Thank you, Max!" was her response.

"Welcome to the group, Diana! you've missed a note here and there, but I believe that can be improved with practice" Aedan says, as he approaches. The way he said 'practice' already scares her.

**********

"Oh, my, my, Diana! you are glowing, recently!" Mrs Chambers greets Diana as she goes back to her reception area after lunch.

"Thank you! But what do you mean glowing?" she asked, a little bemused.

" You lively! Happier?! no longer gloomy liked you used to be, no offence" was Mrs Chambers direct answer.

"None taken..." she smiles, knowing that Mrs Chambers has a point. She looked like a pale, gloomy flower.

"Is this a new skincare? beauty routine? activity, a new man?"

Diana laughed at the last part of what Mrs Chambers said. "No, unfortunately, not a man... It's probably because of having clarity of the mind now," she said, knowing that Mrs Chambers was also aware of the past depressing incidents that she had gone through.

"I am glad for that!" Mrs Chambers smiles at her.

Earning the clarity of the mind was one of the things Diana was grateful for. Especially now that she was trying to take her life back.

She looks at her schedule on her phone. On Thursday evenings, she takes JUDO classes, and on Friday evening and Saturday afternoon were rehearsals and additional training with Aedan. He wasn't kidding when she told her how strict he is. Heck, he knows when one didn't practice the song. There was a wee bit of regret in her for agreeing to take JUDO classes and joining the orchestra as one of their singers, especially now that she had to follow strict discipline. But gratefulness, enjoyment, and the contentment it gave her overweighs the regret.

**********

Diana enters the restaurant and looks around for Aedan. He told her that they would meet at this restaurant which was, near her office, before they head for practice.

She smiles and waves at him, upon seeing him seated at a table near the window. He smiles back and waves at her to come over.

"Hello, Aedan"

"Good Afternoon, Diana! I sure do hope you practised the song."

"Ahehehe... I did!..."

He narrows his eyes on her.

"I swear I did!, though it was a struggle, I made sure I did, every day! In full voice!" she says in her defence.

Aedan laughs. "Don't worry, I understand, you don't want your 'crush' to hear you singing! By the way, do you still leave the house using your bedroom window?"

She looks at him sheepishly and that look she gave was enough to answer his question.

He throws his head back laughing. "Oh, Diana! How are you going to leave the house on the day of the performance? Do you want me to rescue you from the tower and fight the dragon?" he teased.

"What the heck! Aedan! Dr. Skovgaard isn't a dragon!"

"I never said that!" he says, hand up in surrender, still laughing.

"Diana?!" a familiar voice calls her name, she looks around to find Allegra seated at the nearby table.

"Allegra!" she greets, a little nervous, as if she was a little girl caught in a misdeed.

"You're here! I haven't seen you in a long time! Look how glowing you are!" Allegra says, echoing the same thing Mrs Chambers had said and gives her friend a tight embrace. "You wouldn't join us for dinner, what have you been up to?!" was her next question.

"Ahehehe..."

However, before Diana could think of an answer, Allegra turns her attention to Aedan. She looked at him suspiciously which made Diana nervous.

"And may I know who is this? care to introduce me to your new friend?"

"This is Aedan, Aedan, this is Allegra, my best friend..." she introduces, and Allegra immediately takes the seat beside Diana, still looking at the man suspiciously.

Aedan beams at her and stretches out his hands, offering Allegra a handshake, which she took.

"Hi, I'm Aedan McInnes... Diana's date" he says, followed by his disarming smile. Knowing that Diana didn't want to tell anyone of her current activities.

"What?!" Allegra's eyes widened in shock. "Since when? You've never told us anything, Diana!" she says, turning to Diana.

"Oh! it's just recent! I didn't want to tell anyone because everything happened just recently! Plus, I didn't want to worry you, also... Aedan's a great guy!" she reasons and gives the grinning man a quick glare.

"I see... well... Of course, I'd be worried about you, and Aedan, what do you do?" was the beginning of Allegra's interrogation.

" I am a music producer," was his reply, which is part of the truth.

Diana sighs, as the interrogation continued.

**********

"Out of many things you could think of! Aedan! you told Allegra, that you're my date..." was the first thing that came out of Diana during the rehearsal break. They were almost late for rehearsal because of it. "We barely made it out of there!"

However, the only reply Aedan gave was a hearty laugh. "Tell me, Diana, what are you exactly worried about? By right, we are not doing anything wrong,"

She paused for a moment and thought about it. What was she worried about " I... I don't know... Dr Skovgaard finding out?" the reason just carelessly slipped out of her lips.

"Aha!" Aedan exclaimed, causing Diana to jolt in surprise.

"What?"

" You're worried about your crush finding out!" he declares.

" Wait...what? I said that?! I-"

"Diana, look, you should not worry, in fact, you should be glad! If your Dr Skovgaard reacts, then it means he cares for you!"

"Of course, that man cares for me! I told you he sees me as his daughter! "

"Uh, uh , uh, that will depend on how he reacts!" he adds, making her a little hopeful. However, she knew that it was impossible.

**********

It was a Sunday when Allegra met her father for brunch. She excitedly jogs upon the small staircase that led to the front door of the restaurant. She had been wanting to tell her dad what she had recently found out.

"Woah... Allegra, what is all this excitement about?" was the first thing Isaac said to his daughter, the moment she arrived at their table, looking a little too excited. He chuckles and calls for the waiter, thinking that it was some sort of good news.

"Guess what I've found out yesterday dad!" her tone and expression turning into 'worry'.

"What is it?"

" Ross Poldark! he's dating her!!" Allegra declares. Describing how Aedan, her friend's date yesterday, has a fleeting resemblance to the character.

"Wait... what? " was his reply, unable to comprehend what his daughter was saying.

" Diana is dating again!!" she declares, clearer this time.

Isaac's expression changes from 'worry' to something darker. Which his daughter didn't notice as she continued telling what she found out.

A/N: I probably made some grammatical errors here and there, so I'd do some soft editing from time to time. Why do you think Isaac's expression darkened? tell me what you think in the comments below.

Also;

Brindisi - is a drinking song.

A number of Opera Singers / Choral Singers / Soloist / Orchestra Musicians have day jobs.

My face claims were; Aidan Turner and Hugh Jackman for Aedan and Max (Because Hugh can sing). I also want to assure you, they're not rivals of Isaac, but plot vouchers for the next chapters. These characters are there to give clarity and support to Diana.

[muzeez]

4th April 2020

1:18am

The World Needs You Now

I've always written songs, without the aid of instruments or anything. Mostly, I make a conscious effort, to sit down with a pen and my notepad and it's just words with no melody. Occasionally though, I could be out and about with no pen and paper or intention of writing and suddenly a harmony and verse/chorus will start whirring round my mind. At that point I'll find somewhere private if I can and record it with my phone. There's been many of times when I've been at work and I'll tell my colleagues I'm going to the toilet. Instead, I'll be sat on the toilet seat with my phone right up to my mouth, hurriedly whisper singing as much as I can, to come back to later.

When I make the conscious effort to sit down and write a song (I aim for one per day), there's no melody yet. It's just words on paper, saying what I feel and want to express in that moment. It might be that someone has annoyed me that day and the lyrics are an expression of the things I wished I'd the guts to say to their face. Because I know it's just me, a pen and blank paper, I don't hold back.

It might be just blatant venomous raw anger, with nothing contrived about it. I'm just writing outrageous insults down. To get it off my chest. Like the one above.

Other times, there's something else happening. Something a little more poetic and less sweary. It might be an expression of love, confusion or an attempt to understand something in my mind.

'The World Needs You Now' is one of the songs that began with me sitting down and writing words on paper, with no melody.

It was a Saturday, and I'd gone to work that day my usual self. Feeling good, feeling love, being friendly and upbeat but as with most days, it seemed people were just being horrible to me, like they were irritated by me.

I spent all afternoon, getting ignored, people looking through me, people being abrupt, sneering, ignorant, cold, alienating. I got the general feeling like I was just a piece of shit to them. Customers as well as colleagues.

I mean, it's like that just about everyday but this particular day I was feeling extremely sensitive to it and when I got home I got it off my chest on paper.

I couple of days later, I came back to it and started to melodise it. I was adding lyrics and the meaning of the song was evolving. It was no longer just about me and how I felt that Saturday afternoon. It was also about how people are with eachother and how people are towards the world, the climate. The ignorance, the selfishness, the spiteful meaness and the disdain and lack of compassion that people have toward nature, animals, their complacency about climate change. I felt like I was channeling Greta Thunberg.

Anyway, I put the song on the back burner. Then came the arrival of Covid-19, first in Wuhan and as I watched the news I watched it grow and grow, hitting Italy, hitting Spain. Then there were the first single digit cases here in the UK, then those numbers started to grow and grow and the fear and urgency was also growing. Then two weeks ago we were forced to lock up shop, as Britain went into lockdown.

So now I'm in self-isolation, with all this time on my hands. I went back to the song 'The World Needs You Now' and I saw that I could draw an extra layer of meaning and also irony.

One minute, there's the imminent threat of climate change and environmental activists such as Greta Thunberg demanding that people sit up and realise that time is running out and if people don't change their behaviours and their attitudes the world as we know is going to end. The next minute, the whole world changes their behaviour. Planes are grounded, cars are of the road, alot of profit making businesses large and small are shut, the whole world stops. Not because of the urgent warnings from the environmental activists but because of Covid-19, a new virus that is spreading like wildfire, killing thousands. On the one hand Coronavirus is a global catastrophe, on the other, it's possibly a saviour.

I wanted to put music to the song and I found a playstore app where I could use hiphop samples to put a bit of beat and sound behind my voice. It took me hours and hours and hours to just do the first part of the song. Cutting, copying and pasting sound loops and dragging them to the right spots. It was so difficult and laborious doing it on my small phone screen and I couldn't seem to get the tracks in sync with eachother.

With the part of the song I'd managed to make sound feasible, I downloaded youtube video editor and after browsing my phone for carefully chosen images, I started to synch the images with the music. That was also a tedious task, putting the images in order and changing the duration of each individual image to match the narrative of the song.