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helbertinelli · 3 years

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As someone who likes a lot of the newer Star Wars content that’s been put out in the past decade, I’m wondering why a lot of people are constantly claiming that “Disney” Anakin and Padme are OOC.

I get it, Anidala is my comfort ship too and I only ever want the best for them, but the circumstances of their marriage were super unhealthy for both of them and it seems pretty obvious that it would manifest in other ways instead of just at the end of ROTS. They’re both incredibly strong willed people who believe they know what’s right, and they never really got to be together or effectively communicate with each other, and that’s super tragic.

Anakin and Padme are flawed characters, that’s something that people stress a lot, I’m just wondering why when any creator other than George tries to explore those flaws through their relationship, they’re seen as portraying them OOC. Obviously George has a lot of insight into their characters, relationship, and flaws and has revealed a lot about them through interviews, extras, etc., but I don’t think he was necessarily as good at showing it through the films (Padme especially gets a lot of her important scenes/plotlines cut and her characterization kind of suffers from that).

Idk, it might just be that I have a different perspective (I got into the fandom at around 2013 when a lot of new content was coming out) but I don’t struggle with reconciling a lot of the newer works as expanded characterizations, I don’t think that they necessarily contradict what’s present in the films most of the time.

Ultimately, it probably just comes down to how you interpret Star Wars as George Lucas’ creation, the man was very adamant that it was *his* story before he sold it, but I think multiple authorial viewpoints can exist in this massive franchise.

(Obviously people can have their own interpretations and there is no definitive “right” way to look at things, just wondering what the thought process is here)

Thanks for your ask. I’m going to break it down into the points you’ve sent just so I can keep my answer organized and not all over the place. 1. As someone who likes a lot of the newer Star Wars content that’s been put out in the past decade, I’m wondering why a lot of people are constantly claiming that “Disney” Anakin and Padme are OOC.

Because they made Anakin think that Padme would cheat on him and then they made Padme afraid of Anakin and made her tell him they need a break. And because they retconned their story in order to stuff in Clovis in Padme’s story. And it doesn’t fit in the timeline of events that have already been established for Padme and it doesn’t fit with her character at all. In AOTC, in the novel, it says specifically that Padme never made time for herself and she only cared about being a Senator. They mention it in the movie too, but in the book, they go more in depth. There’s no way she made time to have a relationship with Clovis.

Again, for Padme, they (TCW) also make her more focused on her job and they treat Anakin like he’s just some side character in her life. This is completely out of character for Padme. We saw in AOTC that Padme developed from this person who only put her job first, to a person who finally allowed herself to have feelings for someone else and who would put that person before anything else.

If this was not true, then Padme would not have ignored Mace Windu’s request to stay on Tatooine until the Jedi go and rescue Obi-Wan, she would not have married Anakin at the end of AOTC, she would not have gotten pregnant with him, she would not have lived with him on Coruscant, she would not have made plans (and been happy about those plans) to leave her job and move to Naboo and raise their child(ren) there, she would not have went after Anakin after he turned to the dark side and asked him to go away with her.

TCW ignored that Padme got significant development in AOTC and that because of that development her character from TPM and the beginning of AOTC was now changed. They ignored that and decided to portray Padme as we see her at the beginning of AOTC. Spending time with Anakin is a chore, it doesn’t matter what Anakin says even if his concerns are right, only the Republic and her job matter.

There are moments in TCW where their relationship is good, but there are really bad and out of character moments that overshadow the good stuff.

2. I get it, Anidala is my comfort ship too and I only ever want the best for them, but the circumstances of their marriage were super unhealthy for both of them and it seems pretty obvious that it would manifest in other ways instead of just at the end of ROTS. They’re both incredibly strong willed people who believe they know what’s right, and they never really got to be together or effectively communicate with each other, and that’s super tragic.

I don’t think their marriage or the circumstances of their marriage were unhealthy. Their relationship is one of the best ones in Star Wars since it’s very mutual and it’s based on respect and understanding. Padme and Anakin know each other very well and they understand the other like no one else. They’re also nothing but respectful and loving of one another. I don’t see how that is unhealthy.

Them having to hide their marriage and not being able to spend time with one another too because of the war does have an effect on Anakin and Padme, but not on their relationship. Neither of them would think that it would be better not to have a relationship than to have a secret one. I know that Padme said this in AOTC, but she changes her mind about that fairly quick. Again, going to the AOTC book, we actually see Padme doubting her words in that very scene and she’s thinking they’d end up be destroyed worse by not allowing themselves to be together.

3. Anakin and Padme are flawed characters, that’s something that people stress a lot, I’m just wondering why when any creator other than George tries to explore those flaws through their relationship, they’re seen as portraying them OOC. Obviously George has a lot of insight into their characters, relationship, and flaws and has revealed a lot about them through interviews, extras, etc., but I don’t think he was necessarily as good at showing it through the films (Padme especially gets a lot of her important scenes/plotlines cut and her characterization kind of suffers from that).

George Lucas did not have a lot of time to show Anakin and Padme’s relationship in the movies. And yes, Padme did get a lot of her scenes cut out. I don’t think her characterization suffered from it, because we, as the audience, could still understand what Padme stood for and what was important for her. Sure more detail would have been nice, but I don’t think that her characterization was lacking in any way. Like in AOTC it would have been nice to see more scenes of her that showed her being in love with Anakin, but there were still other scenes left in the movie that showed this very well.

I don’t think that only George Lucas is able to explore the flaws in their relationship and their characters. I think I’ve seen some fragments from some SW books on here that have Anidala scenes and Anakin and Padme do have some conflict, but they resolve it. Like there was one where Padme had to go on a mission that Anakin didn’t approve with and they basically talked it out and reached kind of a compromise I think. And there was another book where Anakin and Padme wanted to make out and have sex, but Bail and Obi-Wan were close by and despite how much they both wanted each other and how much it hurt them not to be together, they agreed it was better this way.

The problem is when people create conflict in their relationship that would not make sense in the first place, and then try to say that because of that conflict they just created, Anakin and Padme’s relationship is bad. Like as I discussed above with TCW and making Anakin think that his wife would cheat on him. That would never happen. I think it was in the ROTS book where Palpatine is trying to convince Anakin that Padme is having an affair with Obi-Wan and Anakin is like “Nope, I know Padme.“

It makes no sense to change Anakin’s character to now believe that his wife is cheating just to create drama in their relationship. The TCW writers tried to push a weird love triangle on a happily married couple and then they tried to make Anakin seem like the bad guy for not liking Clovis forcing himself on Padme and for trying to get her killed before that. They created a conflict that would never happen in their relationship normally and then they were like “Oh look Anidala is toxic!“

4. Idk, it might just be that I have a different perspective (I got into the fandom at around 2013 when a lot of new content was coming out) but I don’t struggle with reconciling a lot of the newer works as expanded characterizations, I don’t think that they necessarily contradict what’s present in the films most of the time.

(Obviously people can have their own interpretations and there is no definitive “right” way to look at things, just wondering what the thought process is here)

I can’t speak for your perspective, but it’s fairly easy to see that TCW is not really expanded characterization in the case of Padme and Anidala, specifically, but it actually contradicts things that were already established in canon. In order to achieve TCW!Padme they had to go back on Padme’s characterization in AOTC and completely ignore her character from ROTS. I know TCW takes place between AOTC and ROTS, but in the timeline, Padme would already have been married to Anakin for some time, so a lot of her characterization from ROTS would have to be incorporated in TCW!Padme. But they didn’t. TCW!Padme is basically TPM + beginning of AOTC Padme but done badly. TCW!Anidala is very contradictory with Anidala in the movies. Not only do Anakin and Padme mistrust one another and doubt each other, but the timeline has been modified to squeeze in Clovis.

We see a bit of conflict in the movies, when Padme tells Anakin that maybe the Republic is wrong and yes, it never goes anywhere, but at least it is realistic conflict. It’s not “Hey here’s my secret boyfriend that I never told you about even though we are married and I’m gonna spend time with him even though he got me poisoned one time and then my handmaiden got killed by his stupid plot and I almost endangered the Republic by helping him out and if you don’t like that he’s forcing himself onto me, then I guess our marriage is broken and we can’t be together for a while.“ That is completely against their relationship based on both of them being loving and honest and respectful to each other.

The movies made it clear that despite everything that was going on in both of their lives, Anakin and Padme found comfort in one another. They were open and honest and loving to each other (up until the point of Anakin turning to the dark side). TCW ignored all of that and pushed their own interpretation onto Anidala. Anidala was meant to be a fairytale romance that was basically the two of them against all odds and they brought the best in each other. Their characters were extremely connected that it was weird to have Padme without Anakin or Anakin without Padme. They were both extremely committed to each other, they were both ride or die for one another. And we saw it in the movies very well. Anakin destroys everything to be with Padme and Padme is willing to leave everything behind to be with him despite all the horrible things he has done. She dies still believing there’s good in him. And then TCW comes in and tries to make Anidala in some cheap TV sitcom romance where all they do is bicker and get jealous and Padme acts like it’s such a chore being Anakin’s wife. They westernize their relationship in the worst kind of way.

There’s no way to not find it contradictory that Padme in the movies who, dies from a broken heart and her last words are that there’s still good in Anakin, despite everything he did to the galaxy and to her personally, would be the same as TCW!Padme, who gets angry and scared of her husband beating up the guy who tried to sexually assualt her and then tells her husband that their marriage isn’t a marriage and that they need to take a break. It makes no sense at all.

I’m all for conflict between Padme and Anakin, but it needs to be realistic conflict. It can’t be what TCW tried to push on them or the silly theories of Padme hating Anakin for turning to the darkside (when she tried to get him to run away with her and even before in AOTC she consoled him after attacking the Tusken) or her trying to kill him at any point (when she dies believing there’s still good in him). That’s like saying that Luke would try to kill his nephew and then run away and hide on a remote planet, abandoning his family. It contradicts what has already been established about him.

Also, when you write something like TCW where you’re basically adding stuff to the middle of something, you’re basically required to know the source material of what came before and what came after the thing you are writing and you need to make your story fit and respect what came before and what came after. Otherwise, you just end up writing TCW!Padme and TCW!Anidala where it contradicts already established canon. If I never watched SW and I would just now start watching it for the first time and I’d watch: TPM, AOTC, TCW, ROTS, SWR, RO, ANH, ESB, and ROTJ, it would make no sense to me how Padme who told Anakin that their marriage isn’t a marriage, would distrust Obi-Wan when he told her of the attack and it would make no sense that she would go to talk to Anakin when TCW showed us how easy it is for her to just dump him.

This goes for TCW and for fan theories where Padme hates Anakin or she tries to kill him, I can’t reconcile those with the actual canon because then that character isn’t Padme anymore, and the ship isn’t Anidala anymore. It goes against the core of the ship, of what makes Anidala Anidala. They’re together because they’re so in love with each other and both of them will die being in love with each other. If you have them break up or end up hating each other, then you’re no longer writing about Anidala, that’s a different pairing entirely. With AUs and headcanons and fics and even other canon material, you have to be careful how you alter something so that the essence of a character or a pairing does not get lost. If it does, then you end up writing about different characters and different relationships. I’ll again use Luke as an example. Luke was willing to die for his family, to get his father, whom he didn’t even know beforehand, back, he even left his training because his family needed him. If you write Luke as being the person who wanted to kill a member of his family at the first sign of darkness, who then abandoned his family, and ignored all calls for him to come back, then you just lost the essence of Luke who was all about unconditional love and family, and you now have a different character altogether.

#anidala #padme amidala #anakin skywalker #sorry this got long #I hope this answers your question?#thanks for your ask #skorupiis #ask

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spookyheaad · 3 years

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Haphephobia talk

BIG TRIGGER WARNING: brief mentions of rape/coercion, mentions of suicidal ideation, self harm, physical and mental abuse, as well as dehumanization. This one is kinda heavy.

Hi again! Currently horizontal on my couch because I have full body aches from the second covid shot and my head is killing me, but I expected this to happen as it’s normal for the second vaccine to knock you out for a day or two.

Anyway, I had a realization earlier that I write both Gild Tesoro of “One Piece”, as well as Death from “Darksiders” with Haphephobia - which is “a fear of touching or being touched”. While I write them with this phobia, it manifests within them differently, and I figured I would share some differences, and headcanons for both characters (it’s been so long since I’ve talked about my sassy depressed Nephilim husband; I miss you, Death ❤️❤️). Also with Death, I ship him with an OC I created, named Zemira. I don’t think I’ve shared a lot about her on tumblr, but I’ll be making a whole post about her another time; just know I’ll be mentioning her occasionally.

So I’ll be talking about Death’s haphephobia first, it’s a little more heavy (deadass trigger warning here for the brief mentions of rape. Skip this part if you need to):

So I must start out with the obligatory mentioning of that accursed chapter from The Abomination Vault:

Death and War have to seek out Lilith and gain information from her. Death is viciously adamant for War to stay outside & away from that woman, but war protests and wishes to come in with him. Death, nearly resorting to beating his brother into submission, demands him to stay outside, and War finally relents.

When the eldest Horseman goes in to see Lilith, one of the first things she says to him is something along the lines of “this isn’t a social call, is it?”. I truly forget what else is mentioned, but there are a few times where Lilith tries to mention things of a (supposed) sexual nature towards Death, and he abruptly and angrily cuts her off. The one thing I remember Lilith saying to Death was her saying that Death was always a “sensitive boy” which makes my stomach fucking churn.

What is heavily implied in this scene, to me, is that Death and Lilith at some point in the past, had sexual encounters with one another that Death is very much extremely embarrassed and ashamed of, and with Lilith’s ability to seduce any being regardless if they want to partake or not, it’s safe to say that Death could have possibly been coerced into said sexual activity. Lilith’s ability to seduce is described almost like a date-rape drug to me, it causes people to fall under some kind of spell or go into a trance; what is a big uh-oh to me is when Death describes that War would be weak to Lilith’s wiles, or her tricks. So she is definitely capable of coercing people in any way to get what she wants. Also fucking keep in mind that Lilith refers to Death as her SON, which adds a whole new level of “what the fuck” to that situation; it’s just icky.

I feel that Death, because of this run in (or run-ins) with Lilith, developed a massive fear of being touched, which is backed up in canon in Darksiders 2. He does not allow anyone to physically touch him under any circumstance; when Death arrived in the Makers’ realm, Eideard touched his chest where the amulet pieces are embedded. Death recoils quickly and with a venomous growl, states: “Don’t touch me!”

Then of course when he goes to visit Lilith, she touches his chest as well, and he physically pushes her hand away from his body. She also refers to herself as Death’s mother, and Death angrily states: “You are not my mother!” Also from the moment Death sets foot in Lilith’s domain, he is not thrilled to be there, and acts very different towards her; more defensive, more on guard it seems.

So this headcanon stems from all of that; he will not let anyone touch him, it’s just that severe. Where my OC comes in, I actually have a story on AO3 titled “Haphephobia” and it shows how Death & Zemira try to get past this aversion to touch, so 1.) Zemira can give him affection and 2.) Death can allow himself to be loved. I’ll link it here:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29860320/chapters/73476759

Death cannot even bring himself to hold her hand in the very beginning. So Zemira started there, holding his hand, physical closeness, and very slowly, started working to larger forms of touch. Obviously this gave Death massive amounts of anxiety, so this is why the process is extremely slow. It makes it even more important to go slow because Death tries to hide any weak emotions, so the physical and mental stress he puts himself under is tenfold.

I think that’s all for Death. His Haphephobia is extremely severe, from the specific traumas he has experienced, possibly being forced into sexual activity with his god damn “”mother””, as well as hiding his sensitivity and kindness (my headcanons for why he does that is a whole other post waiting to be written) and just not believing he is deserving of such love and care.

Ok, now for Tesoro (specific Trigger warnings here for mentions of self-harm, suicidal ideation, physical/mental abuse)

So I just recently realized that I wrote Tesoro with symptoms of Haphephobia; also compared to Death, it isn’t as severe or debilitating, but no less harmful to the person going through it.

For Tesoro I think it was sparked by a mix of guilt and insecurity, obviously as well as his past abuse from both his mother and the Celestial Dragons. But in Film Gold it’s obvious that he doesn’t have an issue with being touched, I’m referencing the scene with the pool girls. I think in canon, he’s on high alert when someone goes to touch him, especially if it’s someone he is not familiar with, or does not like. It’s more of an automatic thing that he learned to suppress over time, especially because he absolutely craves attention and affection, and his fear of touch gets in the way of that.

So in a way, he did learn how to work through it, but it wasn’t proper or healthy, and because of that it’s still there in the back of his mind. I also believe that he doesn’t like people pinning him by the wrists/hands/arms or holding him down in any way, or being bound (sexual or non sexual, he does not like it). It triggers severe panic and flashbacks, so, it’s a big no.

In terms of if he were to be around Stella, it becomes heightened. It’s not that he’s afraid of her; he knows her well. He is afraid for her sake, that he would hurt her in some way simply by allowing her to touch him. All through his life, Tesoro was made to feel like he wasn’t worth the space he took up in his existence. His mother did not love him, the one person that could have given him some form of gentle gesture. She instead hurt him, screamed at him, made him feel worthless. Then we all know about the celestial dragons; they didn’t even see Tesoro as a human, and that mixed with the beatings from both the celestial dragons and his mother, he is weary to allow others to get close.

After Stella died, In his heart of hearts Tesoro genuinely thought that he was unloveable, mainly because of his mother. The one woman who brought him into this world didn’t care about his dreams or his well-being, so then how can anyone else? Then, when he found the single person that cared about him, she was whisked away from him without a second thought. Tesoro feels doomed to observe yet never experience the love and kindness that the world had to offer.

That mixed with Haphephobia makes him very cautious of others, and in the case of Stella, vehemently afraid. He loves her, and she loves him in return; Tesoro knows this full well, (we’re headed to the “if Stella survived” AU) after they reunite he is so afraid to touch her and it’s painful to him when she touches his body. It’s another source of frustration and anger because he knows that he is still in love with her, but his own body is trying to push her away. He would tear open his body for the apprehension to leave, to finally feel the comfort he yearned for within Stella’s embrace. No more fear, no more being brought to tears because he felt he didn’t deserve her kindness, no more guilt.

Both he & Death feel unloveable but for different reasons:

Death feels unloveable because of the atrocities he has committed, specifically the Nephilim Genocide & the creation of the Grand Abominations. He feels knee-crushing amounts of guilt for taking part in such events, and he puts up a facade of being an uncaring monster, when he is very much the opposite. He has kindness to give, yet is afraid to show it because of that idea that he is to be seen as nothing but an attack dog for the Charred Council. But this is also the same Nephilim who was so tired of making things that took life, and chose to make something that gave life instead, and gifted said item to his sister, Fury. This is the same Nephilim who took his own life to prove that his youngest brother War did not start the apocalypse. He cares so deeply, has insurmountable love to give, yet feels incapable of doing so.

Tesoro thinks he is unloveable because the world conditioned him to view himself as such. The extreme abuse he suffered told him that he is trash; an afterthought whose only use is as a punching bag or a wasted body to rend flesh from. Ants had more worth in this world than he, and Tesoro knew it. All it took was Stella, one person, for him to see that he is worthy of such a thing, that nothing that went on in their pasts was his fault, and that he does deserve to be given gentle touches, soft reassuring hugs, feather-light kisses, and that he is able to be loved.

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the-gay-prometheus · 3 years

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AU Segment - What’s In A Name (Parts 1 and 2 Combined!)

Oh hey, hi, hello. I finally finished this bit! I’m not sure how I entirely feel about it, but considering all of these segments are still just ‘test runs’ for this AU, that’s kinda to be expected. No warnings needed for these to my knowledge, just wholesome silly stuff and a bit of heartfelt moments thrown in. Just some notes before I share this full segment: 1. You’ll notice that unlike the last segment I posted, the creature is simply called Creature with a capital c rather than “the creature.” There is a reason for this! The narrator, although omniscient, has a bias toward Victor and his point of view about this character. The name of said character changes along with Victor’s view of him - from being a mess of all kinds of nasty things (’beast,’ ‘monster,’ ‘demon,’ etc.), to simply being ‘the creature, then to being more of a formal name ‘Creature,’ and finally to his actual name. In moments where Victor is particularly upset with this character, the title used by the narrator may change to reflect that. 2. This is veeeery very long considering it’s both parts 1 and 2. Knowing tumblr, formatting may get all screwed up, but I’m hoping for the best! 3. Both parts will also be posted to ao3 in their own works, so if you’d rather have links to them there so you’re not endlessly scrolling through a massive wall of text, feel free to ask! 4. I’m still practicing my ‘not-so-angsty’ writing, so some parts may be a little wonky because the wholesome silly stuff is not quite where my skills lie yet 😅 5. Special shout-out to @fergus-reid! The name ‘Percival’ suggested in part two that Victor rejects because it is a ‘name that he heavily considered’ was 100% influenced by his incredible podcast “The Marksbury Incident” - a beautifully written and acted modern/cross-over type AU where Victor is also a trans man (and canonically considered the name Percival for himself)! It’s a really neat story and I totally recommend checking it out! As always, likes, reblogs, and comments of any kind are appreciated! Without further ado, I present ‘What’s In A Name?’

PART 1: “How about… hm… Gabriel?” Victor and Creature trekked along the mountain trail, Victor taking the lead so Creature wouldn’t go too far ahead. “That’s a good name, don’t you think?” Creature shrugged his shoulders, pausing to inspect the nearly white bark of a silver fir, tracing along the jagged edges with curiosity. “Is that a no?” Victor asked, somewhat out of breath as he turned to check on his creation. “Yes, that is a no,” Creature mumbled as he looked upward toward the top of the tall conifer. “Oh! I know! How about Luca? It means light!” Creature turned toward him with a disappointed frown. “Perfect, because surely I am the light of your life,” he remarked with clear sarcasm. For a moment Victor was almost impressed; after all, this was the first he had heard him make any kind of obviously sarcastic… joke? Was it a joke? “Well, no, that would be Henry,” Victor replied, turning back toward the trail and motioning for Creature to follow. “But you were born of lightning, so it would at least have some sentimental meaning?” The creation shook his head. “I would rather not be consistently reminded of my origins.” The two continued along the trail, Victor staying quiet as he tried to think of another name that might work. As they walked, they came along a portion of the trail with a steep, rocky cliff that harbored the continuation of the trail on top. Victor, being the stubborn person he was, insisted that he could climb up himself, but each time he tried to scrabble up, he would lose his hold or lose his footing and fall back down. Though he continued to insist he could do it, Creature lifted him up and set him on the top of the stone. Victor shot him a nasty look, brushing off his clothing as if where he had touched him was somehow now dirty, but Creature ignored it and hoisted himself up to the top with ease. “Then how about Adam?” Victor suggested, turning and starting his way down the trail once again. Creature stood at the cliff edge, staring at his creator. “After all, you came up with that one yourself.” “I… I do not want a name that I came up with,” Creature began. “I would much rather it come from you.” Victor gave him an odd look. “What does it matter? A name is a name, right? I named myself and you don’t see me complaining about it,” he retorted, crossing his arms. He glanced off to the side, then frowned. “Well… I suppose Henry technically helped- but I’m the one who chose it.” Creature crossed his own arms and gave him the kind of look that said ‘well, there’s the answer to your own question.’ Victor stared at him, then dramatically waved his arms and spun around. “Fine! Fine. Alright. What if I said I was giving that name to you because I thought it fit you and not because you came up with it? I mean, it is rather fitting considering-” “Then you missed my entire point of what I had said when I brought that name up,” Creature cut him off. Victor looked back to him. “Then what were you saying?” “I said I ought to be your Adam but… that it was not who I actually was to you. It was…” He hesitated. “A painful moment for me, Victor. To come to the realization that everything I should have been was everything I never would have had the chance to be.” Victor sighed, hanging his head. “Well, what if it’s who you are to me now?” he asked, his voice sincere. Creature shook his head. “That makes no difference. Once again it would simply be a reminder of such dreadful memories. I would rather live my life without being constantly reminded of my past simply by someone calling me by my name.” Victor didn’t answer, opting instead to take a step and continue onward. Creature hesitated, but followed all the same. “Gilbert?” Victor called out as he walked. Creature couldn’t help but chuckle. “Well that was out of nowhere.” “But is it a no?” “Yes, it is a no.” Victor made a grunt of disappointment, then looked around, pointing to a tall conifer with beautiful vibrant orange needles. “What about Larch? Like the tree?” he asked. His creation paused, looking at the tree and others of its species around them. “It is certainly a beautiful tree,” he remarked simply. “Though I am not sure it is a good name.” “Come on, it’s a great name!” Victor exclaimed, turning back to the trail and clambering his way up a boulder that blocked the path. “I will… give it some thought,” Creature promised with a slight smile, hopping over the boulder as though it were only a mild inconvenience. “That doesn’t sound like a no to me,” Victor proposed, grinning. “It is not a no, but it is also not a yes,” Creature explained, reaching up and plucking a handful of the orange needles from one of the trees and inspecting them closer. “Then it’s basically a no and I should keep going,” Victor suggested. Far ahead, the trees cleared and open sky above distant ridgeline could be seen - signifying they were nearly home - and Victor let out an exasperated sigh. “I told you I’d have a name for you by the time we got home. You’re making this more difficult than it has to be.” “And I told you that these things take far more time than what one walk will procure,” Creature countered. “Not that you listen to me, of course.” He continued onward, passing Victor, who watched as he walked by. “I don’t listen to anyone,” Victor called to him as he watched him walk. “I thought that would’ve been fairly obvious by now.” “Oh, it is certainly obvious, but that does not make it - or you, for that matter - any less irritating, Victor,” his creation answered from ahead. Victor frowned. “Hey- Hey! Wait up!” He scrambled as he broke into a run, tripping over a stone and nearly falling but somehow miraculously not falling flat on his face. “What was that supposed to mean?” Creature kept walking, pausing to lift a bough that crossed in front of the path and ducking beneath it, holding it away from the trail so Victor could pass without walking into it. “I was simply stating a fact,” he mentioned, letting the branch go once Victor was through. “Hmph.” Victor strode past him, ducking his way through the last tangle of branches before emerging to the ledge where their little hut stood. “Could’ve kept it to yourself,” he grumbled as he straightened his vest and brushed off his coat. “I will keep that in mind,” Creature stated, emerging beside him with at least one twig sticking awkwardly out of his long black hair. Victor looked up at him, staring at the twig in his hair with narrowed eyes until Creature got the hint that there was something there, then started making his way back toward their home with his shoulders drooped and his eyes on the ground. Grumbling something about how ungrateful his creation was, he made his way to the door, reached for it, and then- whack! The door flew open, hitting Victor directly in the face and knocking him backward. He clutched at his nose with a yelp of pain. Creature couldn’t help but chuckle - this was at least the third time this had happened in the past week alone. It was Henry who had opened the door, and who had promptly let out a sharp gasp of surprise upon seeing his boyfriend dramatically writhing around on the ground with his hand over his face. “Good lord Victor!” he exclaimed, dropping to the ground to check if he was ok. Victor sucked in a breath and hissed it out through his teeth, slowly removing his hand from his nose and blinking his eyes back open. Upon seeing Henry, directly above him, he managed a half smile. “You’re lucky I love you,” he sneered, pushing himself up onto his hands. Henry grinned, planting a kiss on Victor’s lips, which Victor gladly reciprocated. As he pulled back, Henry stood, offering a hand to help his boyfriend up from the ground. “I know I am,” Henry answered Victor’s original statement with a smirk. “Not that he poses much of a threat regardless,” Creature quipped from behind them. Victor rolled his eyes and Henry snickered. “Well, threat or not,” he began, wrapping his arm around Victor, “How’d it go? Did you two finally figure out a name?” “No, we didn’t. That one is too stubborn,” Victor complained, pointing to his creation. “I simply did not relate to any of the names you suggested, Victor. That is not stubbornness, that is…” He paused, thinking of how to word it. “Well… I suppose it could be stubbornness.” Henry shook his head. “Not stubbornness at all. A name is an important and meaningful thing, so if you have yet to hear one that you feel fits you, then it just doesn’t fit and that’s all there is to it,” he explained with a kind smile. Victor gave him a side-eyed glance, then sighed. “Alright, sure. Not stubborn. Just irritating,” he retorted, giving Creature a sneer. Creature stared at him for a moment, then shrugged. “Well, you did create me, after all.” Henry tried to hold back a laugh, and couldn’t help but let it out as Victor pushed him away with a scoff. “I am not irritating!” he announced, earning even harder laughter from Henry. He spun on his heels to face him, crossing his arms. “It’s not funny! I’m not irritating!” “Pfff- Yes you are!” Henry exclaimed through his laughter. Victor wanted to be angry, but Henry’s laughter was contagious as always and he found himself starting to snicker along. “No I’m not!” he repeated, though much less seriously. “You most certainly are,” Creature mentioned, starting to chuckle a bit himself. “I- I am absolutely not,” Victor reiterated, trying to make himself sound very serious but only making himself - as well as Henry and Creature - laugh even harder. “Yes you are!” Henry teased, reaching out and flicking Victor’s nose. Victor flung his hand up and stumbled back. “Ow! Henry that’s still sore!” he exclaimed reaching out to flick him back. Henry jumped out of the way and took off toward the open land of the ridge just beyond their hut still laughing as he gave his boyfriend a look that seemed to say ‘just try to catch me.’ Victor smirked and ran off after him, shouting “You sly bastard- get back here!” Creature watched them chase one another, his laughter slowly subsiding to a smiling sigh. Name or no name, he felt like he was finally so much closer to the life he wanted - a loving family of sorts, though a strange family it may be. He watched as Henry switched directions and came up from behind Victor, tackling him to the ground. Though he couldn’t make out what they were saying, he could hear as their own laughter turned to quiet words, and then to quiet as Henry silenced Victor with another kiss. A content expression on his face, Creature lay back, sprawled out on the ground, and watched the clouds as they passed through the sky. PART 2: The afternoon was fair-weathered and peaceful, blue sky hardly obscured by a few fluffy clouds with the sun casting its brilliant light evenly over the mountains. Creature had spent just about the entirety of the last few hours still lying on the ground, the first half watching the clouds that passed by while considering each shape they took as they changed with the wind, and the second half so well at peace that he had fallen asleep. That was, of course, until the feeling of something being dropped on his chest caused his eyes to snap open. Above him stood Henry, who was looking down at him with his arms crossed and a smile on his face. Creature managed an awkward smile in return, and looked down at what had been dropped on him. He recognized the small leather bag and gently plucked it off his chest, reaching up to drop it back into Henry’s now waiting outstretched hand. “Fancy a game?” Henry asked with a grin, shaking the bag and causing the contents inside to clink and rattle. Creature chuckled and slowly lifted himself upright. “Of course, though you could have woken me in perhaps a less startling manner,” he replied. “Where’s the fun in that?” Henry joked, tossing the bag back and forth between his hands. “Will Victor be joining us?” Creature inquired as he rose to his feet and brushed the dust and dirt from his cloak and pants. “Begrudgingly, yes,” came a flat voice from behind him. He turned to find Victor standing there, looking almost entirely unamused - almost, though Creature could tell he was actually looking forward to it. Henry was the first to jog over to their typical outdoor playing spot, a fairly flat length of stone close to the edge of the ledge, and emptied the contents of the bag onto the ground. An array of clearly non-professionally made dominos, all somewhat unevenly cut with a yellow-stained tint (the clear sign of being made with real bone), clattered down and Henry quickly flipped any that fell right-side-up over so that only the blank sides were facing. Creature arrived and sat down carefully, knowing the drill by now and beginning to choose his five tiles. Victor flopped himself down beside Henry, faking an annoyed sigh as he started to pick his tiles. Henry caught the fake sigh and snatched one of the tiles Victor was about to pick before he could take it, resulting in the two in the two of them giving each other mock-mad looks before they both devolved into a small fit of giggles. As the two of them continued to pester each other while picking their tiles, Creature picked up his own tiles to see if he had managed to pick up a doubles tile. “All-threes as usual, correct?” he mentioned above their antics. Henry looked up at him with a nod. “Yes, unless you wanted to try something different today?” Creature thought for a moment. “No, I am content with the usual.” “Well that’s perfect,” Victor quipped as he looked at his tiles, his expression brightening. He set one of his tiles down, one with six pips on both ends. “Twelve points for me,” he mused, picking up a small splinter of stone and scratching twelve tally marks down beside him on a bare spot of the stone ground amongst a multitude of other scratched-over tallies from games past. “Perfect for me too,” Henry teased, placing a tile with six pips on one end and none on the other. “That’s twelve points for me also.” Victor shot him a clearly sarcastically scathing glance, which Henry countered with a smirk as he reached for the stone splinter Victor had been keeping tally with to tally his own points. “It seems we are starting this with a tie,” Creature examined, placing a fully blank tile beside the one Henry had placed down before picking up a much larger splinter of stone beside him and carving out twelve tallies for himself. Victor gave him a disappointed glance before checking his own tiles and finding one he could place, though it would earn him no more points. Henry placed his next tile and the turn was passed to Creature, who managed to score another twelve points. “Hey Victor, I think I figured out what name we should give him,” Henry mentioned with sarcasm as Creature scratched down his tallies. Creature glanced upward, listening carefully. Victor didn’t answer, but instead rolled his hand in a motion that meant ‘go on.’ Henry snickered as he placed down a tile of his own. “I think we should call him Victor the Second because at this rate you’re going to lose your winning streak.” “No, I think we should call him Henry,” Victor countered, voice dripping with sarcasm as he played his own next tile and scratched down six points for himself. “I am not taking either of your names,” Creature muttered with a slight smile as he placed his next tile down and etched twelve more points on his tally. “That would be far too strange.” “Fair enough,” Henry replied, checking his tiles and realizing he needed to draw from the free-pile in order to place one down. “How about… Ah! I’ve got it!” he exclaimed. “How about Hector?” Both Victor and Creature gave him an odd look. “Hector?” Victor repeated, raising one eyebrow as he also picked up a few tiles from the free pile in order to find one to place down - which he did, and scratched in three points for himself. “Henry, Victor,” Henry explained, raising one hand with each name. “Hector,” he finished, clapping his hands together. Victor couldn’t help but let out a snort of laughter, and Creature chuckled softly as well. “Amusing and sweet, Henry, but I do not think that is the name for me,” he replied, placing his final tile down. Checking over the playing area again, he grinned. “And I do believe that is a win.” Victor shot his glance down. “What?!” He looked at what had been put down. “How? Are you already out of bones?” Creature nodded. “Indeed.” “Ha!! The unbeatable Victor finally tastes defeat!” Henry exclaimed, ruffling his fingers through Victor’s hair - Victor, who flicked his hand away to take a closer look at the spread as if somehow that would make it change. “No, no - not possible. Absolutely impossible.” He looked up at Creature and squinted. “You cheated somehow.” Creature gave him a confused look. “I… do not believe it is even possible to cheat at this game?” “Don’t mind him, he’s just being a sore loser,” Henry reassured him, bumping Victor in the shoulder with his elbow. Victor gave a huff and crossed his arms. “Rematch?” Creature nodded. “If you are both so inclined.” Victor glanced away, trying to hold back a smile. Truth was, he actually was very much enjoying himself. “... Fine,” he said at a length, beginning to flip and mix the tiles. They each plucked their dominos from the pile. “Anyone have a double six?” Henry asked as he looked at his tiles. Victor and Creature both looked at each other as if asking each other the same question, then both shook their heads. Creature looked back down at his tiles, then placed down a double five. “Good enough.” “How about Daniel?” Victor asked as Henry played a tile. “Do you have a reason for that name?” Creature responded as Victor played his next and scratched a new tally of three. “Not particularly. It’s just a nice name,” Victor replied, gesturing that it was his turn. “I see.” Creature placed a tile, and scratched a six for himself, which prompted a quiet ‘scheisse!’ from Victor. He couldn’t help but smile at the reaction. “I would have to say no.” “Does it have to be a name with meaning?” Victor asked as he watched Henry play his turn. “I would prefer it to, if possible.” Victor thought for a moment as he placed his next tile. “Percival is a good name,” Henry suggested with a smirk toward Victor. Victor gave a thoughtful look, then furrowed his brow and gave Henry a look of flat annoyance. “He can’t just have the name I didn’t take,” he muttered. “You had considered naming yourself Percival?” Creature inquired as he picked up a tile from the draw pile and placed it down, etching a twelve in his tallies. “Considered it, yes,” Victor grumbled in reply. “I… do like the sentiment of taking on your unused name,” Creature mentioned, thinking it through more as he watched Henry play his next turn. “Well- you can’t have it,” Victor responded, picking up two tiles and placing one down. “What about Prometheus? I fancied myself to be like him while I was making you, so there would be some meaning to it.” Creature took a moment to think, then shook his head. “I feel I really do not want something that relates in any way to my creation. Not… that I resent being created, mind you, but I have tried to put the past behind me as much as possible, as you know,” he explained as he set down his next tile. Victor sighed heavily, resting his elbow on his knee and his chin on his hand as Henry played his turn and scratched a twelve down for himself. They continued their turns in relative silence, until finally as the sun was beginning to set in the sky it was Victor who placed his final tile. Though he felt like he should be celebrating that, instead Victor felt… defeated. He got up, muttering, “Good game, both of you,” before sulking off back to the cabin. Henry watched him go with a concerned gaze. “Have I… said something wrong?” Creature asked quietly, suddenly beginning to worry that he had hurt his creator in some way. Henry sighed. “No, you’re fine,” he reassured him as he began collecting the tiles and placing them back into their holding pouch. “You coming inside?” Creature shook his head. “I… think I will stay out here for the time being.” Henry smiled at him and gave him an understanding nod before making his way to the cabin. As he stepped inside, he set the pouch down on the side table by the door and made his way into what they considered the ‘common space,’ where Victor sat by the fireplace which only softly glowed with a freshly started fire. “Are you alright, love?” Henry asked gently, sitting beside him and wrapping an arm around him. Victor heaved a shaky sigh and rested his head on Henry’s shoulder. “I just… I feel like I can’t do right by him,” he mumbled, pressing himself closer to his boyfriend. “Nothing I’ve ever done has been… right.” Henry listened carefully as he spoke, holding him tighter and resting his head against Victor’s. “Well, you’re trying, aren’t you?” he suggested softly. “I think he’s just happy that you’re trying.” “Trying isn’t enough,” Victor stated, sitting upright and staring into the small, flickering flames. “After all I’ve done and all I’ve said, trying isn’t enough.” “Then let’s change our approach,” Henry recommended with a smile, reaching out and gently turning Victor’s face toward him to give him a tender kiss. Victor exhaled softly and leaned into it, then slowly pulled back. “How so?” “We could start by doing what we did when we chose your name.” Victor’s eyes widened. “Oh!” he exclaimed, clapping his hands together. “Henry, you’re a genius!” “I’m flattered, but that honor belongs to you, love,” Henry quipped with a grin. “Come on - let’s start reading.” The two of them scoured the collection of books that Henry had brought up with him, picking out names and sounding them off to each other one by one. They went through book after book until the sun disappeared and the sky went dark, either one of them occasionally throwing a new log into the fire to ensure they had plenty of light and warmth. After a few hours, Victor stared down at a page, and uttered, “I think I’ve got it.” Henry looked up from his own book and set it down, swiftly moving over to him. Victor pointed a word out to him. “That one.” Henry gave him a quizzical look. “Are you sure? That’s hardly a name.” Victor looked up at him. “I know, but think about the meaning! It’s perfect!” Henry thought for a moment, then wrapped his arms around him with a smile. “With a bit of tweaking, I think you might be right,” he murmured, planting a kiss on his cheek. “You really do mean it, don’t you.” Victor glanced back at him. “Hm?” “You’ve really come to care for him, I mean,” Henry explained, releasing his grip. Victor hesitated, but then nodded. “I have - genuinely. I just… hope this will be enough to prove it.” “I’m sure it will be perfect.” Creature was sitting out near the edge of the ledge, resting his weight on his hands as he stared up at the stars as they glittered above. Victor took a deep breath as he stepped outside and breathed out slowly. You can do this. It’ll be fine, he thought to himself as he walked over as quietly as he could. He sat beside his creation, and tilted his head back to look upward as well. Creature turned his head slightly to look at him, then returned to his stargazing. “Agape,” Victor said suddenly. “...What?” Creature asked, once again looking over to him. Victor kept his eyes on the stars, but smiled slightly. “Do you know what it means?” Creature stared at him, thinking, then returned his gaze upward. “It is… Greek.” “That’s right.” He thought some more, racking his brain for memories of the word. “One of the… three Greek forms of love, correct?” Victor nodded. “Indeed.” He glanced away as he continued to think. “...If I recall correctly, it is considered the highest form of love. A deep, profound respect. Some define it as… the mutual love between God and man, and between man and God.” Victor’s smile grew - his creation’s intelligence still continued to amaze and fascinate him. “That is also correct. Though… I think I’d like to propose a more general definition.” Creature looked over at him. “What definition would that be?” Victor took a moment, then closed his eyes. “The mutual love between a creator at his creation, and between a creation and his creator.” Creature’s eyes widened, and for the sake of trying not to immediately shed a tear by thinking about that statement, he stared back up to the heavens. “That is… a definition I could approve of.” “How about a name?” “A… name?” “Is it a name you could approve of?” Victor reiterated, opening his eyes and looking over to see that Creature was now once again staring at him, though this time clearly not trying to hide the tears in his gleaming yellow eyes. His silence disturbed him, and he looked away. “...No, no nevermind - forget it. Forget it.” “Victor I,” Creature began, his voice soft and shaken. “That is so much more of a meaningful name than I could have ever imagined.” Victor glanced back at him. “Are you sure?” Creature nodded, smiling wide as tears streamed down his face. “I have scarcely been more sure.” Victor swallowed back tears of his own and smiled back to him. “Then consider it finalized, Agape.” He paused, then leaned forward and embraced him as tightly as he could. “Agape Frankenstein, my first and only…” he paused, thinking for a moment, then smiled contentedly, “son. My first and only son.” Agape didn’t know how to react at first - he was overwhelmed with so many emotions; relief, hope, joy. The most he could do was wrap his arms around his creator - his father - and finally take in what it really meant to be loved.

#frankenstein #frankenstein au #clervalstein #fanfiction #victor frankenstein #Henry clerval #the creature

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a-mandala-rose · 4 years

Text

You Spin Me Right Round...

I’ve never written a meta post about an episode before, so with only three episodes left, I figured this is the perfect time to start. It typically takes me a few days to process and gather my thoughts, because much like Dean this season, I’m rather slow on the uptake. By the time I have something to say, it usually feels like the moment has passed. But what the hell. We’re three episodes from the end and I have FEELINGS.

To start, I’m going to back up a moment and talk about 15X16 (see “slow on the uptake,” above). Lots of fans, myself included, found themselves frustrated with watching what at first glance seems to be your run of the mill MOTW episode. A *good* MOTW, for sure, but still, with only four episodes left to go, it felt like we should be past this by now. In fact, “aren’t we past this?” seemed to be the theme of the entire episode and that alone should have clued us in that despite appearances, this episode was anything but just another MOTW. If that was too subtle, Billie’s pointed “you’re working a case? Now?” should have been a dead give away that we needed to look deeper. And many tried, but the most a lot of us could come up with was the brothers’ big emotional argument at the end and even that was a giant moment of “been there, done that.” Why at what should be a pivotal point in the series are we rehashing the same arguments we’ve been watching for the past 15 years?

Jumping ahead to 15X17 for a moment, we see Dean absolutely breaking down. He’s losing it. Imploding. Leaving aside all of the problematic comments about and to Jack (we’ll come back to that), Dean lays out the crux of the problem when he and Jack are talking in the Impala: he doesn’t know what’s real. Like he’s been saying all season, he’s lost the perspective to be able to tell what about his life has been his choice and what has been Chuck’s machinations. He’s stuck in Chuck’s hamster wheel. Going ‘round and ‘round. Repeating the same scenes, lines, hunts, and arguments on a loop. Wait…why does that ring a bell?

Back to 15X16 and NOW it makes sense. Why are we stuck in yet another MOTW episode? Why is Dean lying to Sam again? Why is he once again sacrificing someone he loves, leading them “into the meat grinder?” Why is he backsliding on all that great emotional growth we saw last season? Why is he repeating the same destructive patterns that thanks to Kaitlyn, we know he’s been stuck in since childhood? IT’S THE HAMSTER WHEEL. Round and round we go…but whose hamster wheel is it?

Back to 15X17, LOTS going on in this episode and I’m not going to touch on all of it. But some highlights [and these are in no particular order because 1) I’m scatterbrained as hell and 2) the fuck does it matter anyways, because as we’ve established, we’re just going around in a big ass circle here]:

We see some absolutely masterful manipulation by Chuck. Manipulating Dean in order to manipulate Amara because he knows thanks to their “bond,” she’ll never turn on Dean…unless he betrays her first…which brings us to two of the biggest points in this episode. First off, we learn that Chuck didn’t write the Dean/Amara bond, which, as many more brilliant meta minds have pointed out before me, mirrors Dean and Cas’ profound bond, which we learn at the end of the episode was also NOT written by Chuck (and in fact pisses him off quite a bit, to put it mildly.) This reminds us that though he claims to be omniscient, Chuck is definitely NOT omnipotent and while he may be able to control space and time, one thing he can’t control is human emotional bonds and relationships. And this friends, this is important. In fact, it’s everything.

Right before Chuck confesses that Castiel is, as Cas fans have long insisted, the very embodiment of free will (more on that later), Sam references Eileen, which, yes, is very sweet, but also...also, is a call back to their relationship, specifically, to Eileen’s fears that her feelings for Sam weren’t genuine. She wonders what about her and Sam’s relationship was real and what was Chuck, which we knew at the time was a mirror to Dean’s “What about all this is real?” The answer, of course? “We are.” And now we have confirmation: emotional bonds/relationships are REAL. They might be manipulated by Chuck, but they aren’t created by him and clearly, he can’t understand them. That’s illustrated several times in this episode. His reaction to Dean’s “icky” bond with Amara. His inability to "feel the love" of the angels she took him to see. His cold manipulation of his sister. The throwback to the way he threw Adam and Eve, his first human children, out of the Garden and then used their sons to further his own plans. His consternation with Castiel for not doing as he was told after he raised Dean from perdition.

Chuck doesn’t understand and didn’t create emotions. Which seems obvious wen you think about the fact that his first sentient children didn’t have them. Emotions are a specifically HUMAN creation and that is what makes humans so frustrating and incomprehensible to Chuck. It’s why he hates them. Not only are a few of them very disobedient pets, as a whole they've created something he cannot. What a blow to the ego that must be.

The second thing referenced by Amara and Chuck’s conversations about Dean is his betrayal of her. Chuck’s telling Amara that Dean is sending her to the “meat grinder” is not a coincidence. That language is a deliberate mirror to Dean accusing his alternate future self of sending Cas to the meat grinder in The End (That’s only one of several parallels Unity makes with The End. For a much more thorough accounting, check out castielslostwings’ Twitter thread.), which, as I referenced above, also parallels Dean’s willingness to send Jack on a suicide mission. What do these things all have in common? Each time, Dean is ignoring his own instincts, his own “moral compass,” in favor of a plan. In The End, he regrets his choice to say no to Michael…to veer from Michael’s, aka God’s, aka Chuck’s plan and is trying to recreate it by killing Lucifer/Sam. Now he’s following Billie’s plan, even though it clearly feels wrong to him. We can see that in the way he tries to distance himself from Jack. The way he tries to convince himself that Jack isn’t family. That he’s different from Sam and from Cas, even though he’s told Jack before that he IS family. Even though when he was angriest with Jack and distraught with grief over Mary, he still told Belphegor that Jack was “our kid.” We can see it too in the way he reacts equally defensively when Sam brings up how they’re about to betray Amara in 15X15 and again in 15X17 when we can see Dean flinch when she tells him they’ll always help one another. This feels wrong to him, but he’s doing it anyways because he thinks he has no choice.

Looking back over seasons’ past, the two ever-present themes in Supernatural have been free will (obviously) and found family. They’ve always been intertwined. We’ve watched time and time again as Sam, Dean, and Cas choose one another. But now we have those two themes coalescing more than ever before. Every time any of them chooses “the plan” over their family, shit goes sideways. And now we know it’s because, as Chuck has made pretty damn clear in his manipulation of Billie’s plan, he’s omniscient and he controls all time and space. All plans are HIS plan.

But what doesn’t he control? Emotions. And the bonds they create between people. It’s in choosing one another that Team Free Will has always thwarted Chuck’s plan. Dean refusing to go down the path laid out for him in The End. Cas refusing to "hurt Dean Winchester." Sam refusing to reap MoC Dean. Dean refusing to shoot Jack in that cemetery. The boys refusing to hurt one another, again and again and again. The boys choosing one another again and again and again. And I think that's what Chuck really wants to break. Why he's so obsessed with getting his ending. This is what Becky was getting at in her critique of his story. Chuck doesn't understand his characters, because he doesn’t understand feelings. He hates this creation of humanity that has become more important to them and more defining of them than anything else, including him. So, he wants to conquer it. He wants to manipulate the situation to make his characters choose something of his divining over their emotional bonds to one another. Those bonds he didn't create and that he, in all of his omniscience and power, cannot sever.

15X17 confirms that free will is real. Cas chose to disobey. That wasn’t written by Chuck. And speaking of Cas, let’s look at our biggest two parallels of the season: Dean and Cas. (Sorry Sam. Sit this one out.) Cas, who Chuck has just identified as the epitome of free will. Cas who, once a mindless soldier, abandoned heaven’s plan. Who found his new purpose when he chose to become a father. Who follows his instincts over the plan because “something went wrong” and “the plan changed.” Versus Dean. Dean who has spent this entire season feeling trapped. Who keeps choosing “the plan” over his family and finds his cage getting smaller by the minute.

Back to 15X16. I asked before whose hamster wheel is Dean on? Dean says it’s Chuck’s, but that assumed that free will was a lie. Now we know it’s not. Free will is real and Chuck never even had to take it away from Dean. Dean gave it up as soon as he started following someone else’s plan instead of his own. Dean’s hamster wheel is of his own making.

There are so many more things I could say about 15X17. For starters, those chapter titles…are they referencing Chuck’s story? Or are they chapters in his death book, the one we saw in this episode and Chuck himself referenced? After all, Billie’s read that book, so she must have known “her” plan would fail. But she went down that path anyways…And speaking of Billie, I haven’t even touched on her or the Empty. The Empty says Billie wants “everything back where it belongs” with angels in heaven and demons in hell. Wait. That sounds familiar. Oh yes! My new favorite demon, Zack, said that in our other most recent “just a MOTW” episode. It seems Rowena wants something similar. Isn’t that interesting? And speaking of Rowena, if there’s one thing this show loves, it’s duality. Parallels. They’re everywhere…except, it seems, when it comes to the queen of Hell. Who will mirror Rowena? How interesting that we visited that empty throne room in Heaven last week…

BUT…the main thing here is this: Unity. This episode was about unity and now we have a unified Chuck and Amara. We’re going to need a unified TFW in order to defeat them. Because that is the key to defeating Chuck. Choosing one another…choosing our found family, the ones we’ve created those bonds with…again and again and again.

#supernatural #meta #Mandaladoesmeta #Season 15 #spn 15X16 #spn 15X17

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momentofmemory · 4 years

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Hi! I just saw your commentary on the post regarding Hans Holbien's The Ambassadors painting. In your breakdown, you provided a picture of the Sistene Chapel's ceiling. I had never seen the full ceiling before and was curious what knowledge you may have regarding the various scenes painted. Thank you!

HOOBOY do I ever have thoughts!!

First, a quick caveat: you have to understand that the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel is huge. Like, huge huge. Five thousand square feet huge. There’s only nine (9) main frescos running down the center of the area, but there are 47 separate pieces in total—not even counting the 20 ignudi (nude youth), architectural framing, 10 medallions, or various bronze characters—adding up to very nearly three hundred and fifty individual figures.

There’s a reason it took Michelangelo four years is all I’m saying.

OKAY so the ceiling can broken up into roughly four main categories:

The Nine Frescos - aligned directly down the center and meant to be read sequentially (starting when on the altar side of the room, not from the door), these depict prominent scenes from the book of Genesis. They can be grouped further into sections of three: 1-3 depict God creating the world generally, 4-6 depict the creation & fall of man, and 7-9 depict the story of Noah.

The Twelve Prophets - these squared paintings surround the center line, featuring an alternating set of five sibyls (famous historical but non biblical prophetesses) and seven Old Testament prophets. The particular individuals were chosen based on their Messianic prophecies (because even though all the images on the ceiling are from the OT, the point is still to direct the viewer to the Christ of the NT).

The Four Pendentives - triangular in shape and forming the corners of the ceiling, these showcase moments of Israel’s deliverance in the OT, with particular interest in the heroes that were popular at the time: Moses (The Brazen Serpent), Esther (The Punishment of Haman), David (David and Goliath), and Judith (Judith and Holofernes).

The Ancestors of Christ - made up of eight triangular compositions on either side of the length of the ceiling, these are located directly above the lunettes (moon-shaped compositions arched over the windows). These show various figures from the family/ancestral line of Christ.

You can see a visual breakdown in this diagram:

There are additional sections besides those four—the ten medallions (two on every other of the main frescos), which depict more (mostly violent) OT scenes; the twenty ignudi (two nude males on either side of each medallion), which are maybe angels maybe Peak Humans™ maybe who knows; and the lunettes (arched sections above the windows), which at one point portrayed all of Christ’s genealogy as found in Matthew, but two of them were covered over by Michelangelo himself in 1537 to make room for The Last Judgement, making the set incomplete.

Aight now that you have the tl;dr of the layout, you can see that it is A Lot™. Since picking even one section can easily (and has easily!) filled entire theses, I’m actually going to pull back a bit and talk more generally about form and structure, because—in large part due to his background as a sculptor—Michelangelo’s perspective and dimensionality is just masterful.

A quick reminder that the Sistine Chapel ceiling looks like this:

And, for a close-up, like this:

Obviously the figures are gorgeously done, to the point that they could be confused for sculpture rather than paintings (let it never be said that Michelangelo didn’t love himself some muscles), but what really makes me go feral is that that there ceiling?

That ceiling’s flat.

Okay not technically flat in that it’s dome-shaped, but flat in that there are no columns. The original, unpainted Chapel looked something like this:

Which, as you can see, is missing all that lovely architecture dividing up the ceiling.

The columns, structure, and forced perspective were painted, not sculpted, using a technique known as grisaille. The monochrome style was frequently used to call to mind classic Roman architecture (such as the pediment reliefs on the Pantheon and Parthenon), as the Greco Roman aesthetic was generally seen as the height (no pun intended) of artisan culture.

It’s no coincidence that Michelangelo took this route as, up until this point in his career, he wasn’t known for his painting much at all. He’d certainly made a name for himself as a sculptor through pieces like David or The Pieta, but this was to be his first major painting project—one he nearly turned down, because of the enormity of it all. The Pope, however, was quite set on it, so he eventually accepted—with a blank check to paint “whatever he liked.”

So he did—and his background in sculpture uniquely prepared him for creating more “active” bodies, such as in The Libyan Sibyl.

There’s a billion and one essays on her but for now let’s just notice the half-turned position, the musculature of her back (Michelangelo used a male model; do with that what you will), the sweeping lines of fabric, and the way her toe is just barely resting on the ground.

This is a painting that is alive: it gives off the sense that these figures are doing, rather than simply being.

Dynamics & motion were key to the composition Michelangelo wanted to create, partially because it’s that flow of motion that helps pull the viewer from one side of the ceiling, in the first fresco, all the way across the room to the last—and therefore, through the biblical narrative it portrays.

It’s so common it’s arguably kitsch to talk about The Creation of Adam (the fourth fresco), but what I want to point out is, like in the Sibyl painting, the movement of it all.

The bodies are twisted, muscles flexed and coiled; there’s a languidity to Adam’s movements as opposed to the fierce, powerful forward momentum in God’s.

Traditionally, the Christian God and other deities were shown in more staid, immobile positions, and while Michelangelo was not the first painter to break from that—that right arguably goes to Giovanni di Paolo—he was rather instrumental in shifting that paradigm, and once again, establishes this set of frescos as one interested in movement.

Finally, it would be hideously neglectful to discuss the form of the Sistine Chapel without mentioning colour, so one last thing.

As you may or may not know, art restoration is... controversial in the art world, to say the least. However, the Sistine Chapel went through a restoration beginning in 1980 and eventually completed in 1994, with the result washing away of several hundred years’ worth of grime and candle smoke, applying an awful lot of glue varnish, and touching up details/mending cracks:

Rather drastic, no?

It sparked a rather intense debate (that has still not eased up and doubtless ever will) about whether or not the conservators removed too much of the grime (for various reasons—the conservation work assumed all the painting was done buon fresco, which meant if Michelangelo had added any touch-ups after the fact those would’ve been removed; some suggest some of the smokey look wasn’t just smoke but actually a deliberate carbon black wash, etc., etc.).

Regardless, it at least allowed for a better look at some of the dynamics Michelangelo incorporated through his shading and highlights, as well as giving his brighter colours a chance in the limelight. This new, brighter version will keep the ceiling intact for many more viewers and critics for years to come.

(...At least until the next person decides to mess with it. It’s also had restorations in 1547, 1625, 1710, and 1935, so, y’know. Wait another 50-70 years and we’ll probably give it yet another go.)

#asks #art history #classic art #sistine chapel #memrants #religion #sgtbarnes107 #long post #there's literally SO MUCH to talk about here #many apologies for everything I had to leave out

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2ofswords · 4 years

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Phi talks factions, ruling families, and endings yet again

After long long last I finished my talk about the factions! So let’s talk about them! There is some discourse about it on here and most of it is really interesting and I wanted to throw my own takes into the mix.

Also, will put this in the very beginning: This essay is very long and hinges on a lot of analysation of very broad topics of the game. It is very possible that I make mistakes in it. I would be delighted to know about them and engage in discussion, but please stay friendly. I tried my best to research and to stay analytical, but I am firstly human and secondly human with a memory that can fail me.

Anyway without further ado: Let’s begin the faction talk!

Prologue: Personal sympathy

This is supposed to be more of an analysation about how the factions work in my opinion. It is not supposed to be an explanation why my favourite faction is the Best™. Still, my opinions will obviously influence my own analysis. So for the sake of levelling the playing field and not even trying to play coy about it – or in case you were curious what my personal opinions are – I will start by listing my own opinions about the factions, the families and the endings.

I consider myself a Utopian but also have a soft spot for the Humble ideology. I just really like progress, I am an idealist who thinks striving for a perfect situation has value (even if I do not believe in practical perfection) and I just really like the Kains’ visions okay? Not their executions, mind you, but their visions. (I am just really really obsessed with magic that involves time and space as a concept…) And I think the concept of human potential is one of the most hopeful and important ones to society and trying to get more out of being a human being is just an important concept to me. But I also think the personal responsibility is really important and interesting and the thought about individuality vs. society is something that needs to be discussed, so the humbles are just really interesting to me and I sympathise with a lot going on there as well. Not that much of a Termite person though. Sorry

Concerning the endings: If I would be in a position to choose any ending for the town, I would choose the Termite Ending. I would just be really unhappy about it… But it is the only ending that doesn’t involve any direct sacrifice of life and I value that the most, even if I think the trade-off is still pretty devastating. I am still a Utopian, but potential lives in people. The ending I consider second best is actually the Utopian one and by process of elimination I like the Humble ending the least. You will probably learn why this is the case when we get to talk about the endings, so I am saving my argument for later. If it is about how much I like the endings from a narrative perspective: I am a passionate fan of the Utopian ending even though that is very frustrating since I see it in a rather… peculiar way, I think. I also love the Humble ending a lot and it just has the most personal tragedy and a lot to think about. The Termite ending… eh. It serves its purpose and is necessary but not really pleasing in analysis. Or if it is, it’s still a bit frustrating to talk about. It is very useful for writing fanfiction though. ^^

I don’t really have a favourite ruling family. I think the Saburovs are the most sympathetic, but I am also fascinated by the Kains. My favourite members are Victor and Capella.

Okay? Cool, now that we got that out of the way let’s start with the actual faction talk.

Part 1: What the factions are (and what they aren’t)

The factions are categories that are very broad and not very concrete. It is probably a good idea to talk about what they are first, before we make any statements about them. So, let us start how I look at them and what the factions stand for, before debating the rest.

Firstly: The factions are a part of classic Pathologic. From what I can tell and remember, they haven’t been mentioned in Pathologic 2 at all. Of course, we can see the struggle of different worldviews there as well, but the split cast of important NPCs is not mandatory in any shape anymore and in fact Artemy is now responsible for everyone in town. While the politics between the ruling families are mentioned and the Kains as well as the Olgimskys still share their beliefs, neither the term “bound” not “faction” is introduced in the game. However that might be because we are starting with the Haruspex as our protagonist. The factions are a bit more important in the other two routes of classic Pathologic after all. The Bachelor being concerned with its politics and the Changeling with its ideology itself. So the terms might be introduced later. For now, their conflict may be a part of Patho 2 and certain aspects can be definitely seen, but they aren’t present yet. So we are mostly talking about Classic Pathologic here.

The factions are introduced in two different ways. First and foremost, they are three different ideologies that are present in the town and by definition in the entire story. It is also told, that the whole town is split into these factions and that roughly one third of the town each belongs to either faction. It is also explained, that the factions are purely made by the ideology and that people of different gender, heritage, age and class can align with different factions. (Which means that they aren’t equivalent to the different parts of town that are at least roughly divided by social status). There is also a philosophical level that strengthens the ideological importance each faction holds, but in this essay, I will focus on the ideological part and how it affects society. That means there is another layer that we won’t be touching today, but believe me, we have enough to do as it is.

The other aspect of the factions is the bound of each healer. All of the bound collectively are described as “Simons friends” at least in the Bachelor route and all of them are now split into the three factions. The name “bound” however is to be taken literally. The characters are part of the agenda each faction follows, however, that doesn’t necessarily mean, that the person one hundred percent shares the ideology of the faction! Most of them do, but it is important to keep in mind that peoples belief-systems still vary and the aligning criteria is the importance to the goal of said faction and not necessarily their own way of thinking. People’s mindset and beliefs can vary after all and some of them even have dynamic arcs (tbh Most of them have). The other way around people can be not a part of the bound of a faction and still share their beliefs. This will be important later! For the Utopians the specific bound criteria is “people who have the potential to overstep human boundaries in any way or form”. They are needed for the creation and upholding of the Utopia as it is imagined. Its goal is in some way after all to create something that oversteps the boundaries of what should be humanly possible. For the termites… well… it’s children. It’s all about the children, it is the children who are able to carry the town in the future. And for the humbles it is the sinners, whose souls are rotten to the core (I guess…). That isn’t only because the Humbles just really like sinners but they are directly needed for Clara’s solution and the Humble’s ideology of willing self-sacrifice in order to maintain society.

Okay. But what are the factions? What do they believe in?

Let’s start with the Utopians, because their whole schtick is kind of in the name. This faction is all about the potential of humanity and striving to create perfection. This is happening with the awareness that such a feat is at least deemed impossible. So, their goal is the defeat – or the power to overcome depending on who you ask – of the nature that prevents them from this kind of progress not being achievable. They value this progress and the possibility to overcome those odds over personal as well as societal comfort and justify it with the belief, that said growth would benefit society in the long run. That being said, not every Utopian thinks this strive for growth needs to be shared by everyone, though a society collectively working towards breaking limits as a whole is preferred. (An example would be Maria's explanation of the town, stating that mundane human life is very much necessary to sustain a Utopia). The Utopians are prone to brash decisions, since part of their ideology is that they are necessary to disrupt the status quo and change – even enforced one – is needed to get rid of complacency and provoke new development of the unforeseen (which is very much needed since we are working against “nature” (the literal one as well as the nature of fate and possibility). Their drawbacks are that brashness and the disregard of comfort. Their potential elitism is shown by their value of humans who try to disrupt the status quo and their adamant protection of people who can move society as “more important” and thus worthy of more protection. (However it is noteworthy that a lot of this thinking was introduced by Georgiy in Pathologic 2 and Marble Nest. I still think it is a legitimate drawback but much less used in P1, where the factions are a thing.) This doesn’t necessarily relate to elitism of an elite class (it can though!) but more so to academic elitism. On the other hand, they have the drive to move things forward, they literally are the builder of society and developers of indescribable magic.

The Termites can be considered the opposite of the Utopians. I have struggled to put a definitive description of them for quite some time because they are the group whose representatives have vastly different ways of thinking. Anyways, I have seen the Termite ideology being described as “preservation” by RagnarRox in “Pathologic 2 is an underrated masterpiece” and I think, that fits amazingly. It is about protection and regaining a status quo where everyone can live their daily lives content and as it was before. The children are supposed to be leading the town into the future, but especially in Patho 1 this is more about taking what the past has already shaped and using this as a guide instead of implementing new ideas and philosophies as the utopians and the humbles do (for better and for worse). If we look at how Capella describes her vision of the town, we can also see that it is about togetherness and comfort. Which makes sense if it is the antithesis of the utopian dream. It doesn’t sacrifice progress just because it wants to but because it endangers people’s comfort and personal safety. Disrupting the status quo can lead to catastrophe and make people unhappy, therefore it should be avoided. People should serve the community but that also means not committing to self-fulfilment that can endanger this togetherness. Khan needing to give up on his own ambitions to serve Capella’s vision of the town might be a good example for that. While there is this bond of togetherness there is also the need for leadership. Again, preservation and comfort are highly valued with the Termites and it is established by a leadership that is supposed to act as gentle but firm guidance. With the children being the bound, there is a strong emphasis on parenthood and again Capella – as the white mistress and the termite's leader – is accepted as taking the leadership together with Khan who are ruling together with love as well as fierceness. Artemy also has his journey of establishing leadership within the kin and dethroning the person who is unfit for the role. It is implementing change but to restore balance and only inside the already established rules. I would say it fits more as a case of rightful leadership that still stems from the menkhu families and Artemy proves himself while using his father’s lessons and notes. And the kids themselves are fated to lead the town itself as the chosen ones that Capella implored Isidor to protect, and set its rules, so that there are the boundaries to keep a way of living established while not needing to change this status quo and what hopefully is a harmonic way of interaction between people. So. Now that we have established what the Termites are, I think with this specific faction it is still important to also name what they aren’t. Firstly: The Termites are an ideology of the town’s future. They aren’t the kids club. Yes, all the Termites are kids, but as mentioned before the factions in themselves are a third of the population with varying members who believe the Termites to have the best solution for the town at hand. There are other members (and I will later talk about the Olgimskys and big Vlad specifically as representatives of the Termite ideology) but the kids are the bound because they are specifically needed to set this new order that they want to established. I would argue that some of the kids have principles that are more adjacent to other ideologies. The obvious one would be Khan who has goals that do not align with his family but similar dreams and more radical ideals about overthrowing the status quo. But Grace also seems to be more of a humble, focusing on caring about others and being quite selfless and self-sacrificing in her care for the dead. That means, the kids fill an important role but we have the strange conundrum that most of this factions bound isn’t together because of their ideology. I will try to take them into account still, but if you see me focusing on Capella and Artemy, this is one of the reasons. There aren’t that many people who clearly speak about the Termite’s vision. The Termites also aren’t the Kin. They are connected to each other but again, the Kin is a specific part of the town which the ideology clearly avoids. (And parts of the Kin are not part of the town and actually stand in opposition to it. Moreso in Patho 2 but with the conflict of the herb gatherers we catch a glimpse of that.) And the children are also representatives of different parts of the town and not of the Kin. The Kin are obviously linked to the towns ancient tradition and preserving their traditions honourably is Artemy’s specific journey. Still, they aren’t the same and with both Aspity and Oyun we have characters who are Kin and also part of a different faction.

Speaking of the Humbles. What’s up with them?

The Humbles also have a name that speaks for itself: It is based around the main idea of being humble. There are different consequences of this main core. The first and in my opinion most important one revolves around responsibility and self-sacrifice. The Humbles expect the individual to sacrifice part of themselves for the whole. I mean… that is quite literally what the ending is about. As with the Termites there is a togetherness but this one doesn’t revolve around looking out for each other (at least not specifically) but about looking at oneself and what you could and should do for society to work best. It puts responsibility not on a collective and its leaders but on yourself and needs you to ask what you did right, what you did wrong and how to take consequences for your own actions. This includes a chance for redemption as well as condemnation. For the purpose of evaluating yourself in contrast to society it is also about self-reflection. You need to look at yourself and at your deeds constantly and this analysation and the realization that you can and will fail as well as that you as a human being have your own limits you cannot and should not cross are what lead to humbleness in the first place. Yulia as a sinner, whose very sin is shaping the very ideology and establishing her ideals over the self. This brings us to the second pillar of the humble ideology: fatalism. It is also to see yourself in context of a greater scheme and accepting these very boundaries. Fulfilling your duty in the way the universe demands of you and seeing yourself unavoidably as a puzzle piece of said force is a big deal for a lot of the Humbles. Yulia is the prime example. Lara actively dislikes her fatalism but still follows her father’s footsteps in her attempt to assassinate Block. Aspity moves in the constriction of the Kin and her fate while still being the one who advocates most for change. The Saburovs are all about law and order albeit in different ways. Oyun cannot do what is entrusted to him which causes his horrible deeds in the first place, because he cannot accept at first that he is not fit for the position (or as the words of a humble: not destined for it). And Clara is struggling with what her fate imposes on her and her very being while trying to control her circumstances as well as the fate of the people entrusted to her. It all is about analysing but also about abiding to the whims of fate and facing the consequences of acting either against it, failing it or resorting to violence against society to fulfil it in the first place.

As you may see, all of these categories are rather broad. Of course, they are, they are made to encompass very different views of the world from different characters. When Victor speaks about working towards overcoming bounds he sure as hell means something different than Andrey. Hell, Dankovsky has no idea what Georgiy is talking about half the time! Lara and Yulia are both Humbles, yet Lara explicitly states that she hates the way Yulia weaves her fatalism in her ideology about the self. And well… the Termites are a very special case regarding the factions in general, being more of a symbol of their ideology than its actual believers. So let's get to the meat of this whole post. We now have a grasp on what the factions are about, but… why? Why are they in the game, what are they trying to say?

Part 2: Presentation of the factions and the ruling families

Well… after making an incredibly long introduction, let’s stop talking around the bush. Here is my conclusion about the game’s stance of the factions: … … I am sorry to conclude, that all of them suck. All of them. They are the worst and none of them are worthwhile in themselves. I am sorry.

Okay, okay, okay. Obviously, they are not only terrible. They have their upsides and all of their ideals are rather beautiful. Making potential become a reality is great! So is comfort and stability, we all could sure as hell use some of that! And the principle of giving something of yourself into society, taking responsibility and the ability to care into consideration… boy is that a good idea! But still… the factions suck. And that is an inherent aspect of them just because they are ideologies. And very unsubtle and uncompromising ideologies at that. To quote novel author Dorothy Sayers “The first thing a principle does is killing somebody.” A principle, if it is used without reflection, always has destructive potential. Even if it is the principle to save as many lives as possible. Put into the wrong dilemma, it will kill. (A single glance at the healer’s path’s is enough to confirm that.) And all three factions have some really potentially bad implications exactly because their ideology is so vastly applicable. It isn’t only about emergency situations, but a lifestyle that regards one way of setting priorities as absolute. Of course, that on its own must go horribly wrong! Leave one single way of thought unattended and it will guide you into fucking catastrophe!

I think the easiest way to highlight this theory and the best prove of the game’s acknowledgement of this line of thought is to take a look at the ruling families. The fact that there are three of them is no coincidence. All three families do not only represent one of the factions but also the destructive extreme this faction can develop.

Let’s start with the Kains again, because their case is the most obvious one and the theme of Utopia and thus uncompromising perfection that has a destructive force is in the fucking title of the game. And creating a project that causes the plague in the first place, forcing the Kin to dig the very hole that tears into the heart of the earth – which they sure as hell did not agree with! – conducting human experiments with their buildings and manipulating the situation so that the Polyhedron gets saved even sacrificing the town for its sake… yeah these are some pretty shitty things to do and they all relate to the Utopian ideal and their strive for development, progress and forming humanity as well as society. And sacrificing everything in order to elevate progress is… obviously a bad idea, especially if it involves using people who never consented to such a sacrifice in the first place! With only development – social as well as personal – in mind the scope of said sacrifice cannot be measured at all, leading to devaluing peoples well-being. It is a horrible thing that harms a lot of people and the strict enforcement of the Kains bring a lot of harm to the town. This damage doesn’t only turn against the town but also has a self-destructive tendency. The self-sacrifice that is demanded to keep the spirit of Simon and Nina is eating the entire family alive. Their strict family loyalties seem to have driven Khan off in the first place (though since his role is “The Termite of the Kains” and he holds a strange middle ground I think he is kind of excluded from the “most extreme faction”-stance). Victor and Georgiy are losing their own identity and eventually their life for the sake of a soul that they consider of higher status than them. And Maria loses her own self to become the next mistress and lead what is left of the town into a new age, which Victor laments as her father because he is literally losing his daughter! The family – even if they “win” the whole town conflict – is actively falling apart and is completely fractured if not destroyed in the end. Not only is the sacrifice the town has to endure obviously morally unacceptable but the disregard of comfort in favour of a greater cause is inherently self-destructive. Which leaves the question: Who is this Utopia even build for, who benefits from it, if everything but it is sacrificed? So yeah, what the Kains are doing and especially the way they are using the Utopian dream in its purest form is absolutely and incredibly flawed.

Sooo… what are our alternatives? How about the Saburovs? They are righteous and they care about people! I mean… yeah. They do! Buuuuut… their handling of the situation is also very… debatable to put it nicely. Let’s start with the obvious: putting everyone in prison who seems mildly suspicious while a highly contagious plague is ravages the town is just… horrible. It is a prolonged and cruel death sentence to many people either desperate or innocent. And yes, he himself did it with the utmost desire to protect society as a whole from the criminals and organized street violence but… surprise, that is what the humble ideology is about! Judging the individual according to sin without taking circumstances into account is one of the extremes the Humble-ideology has. You should stay put and work towards the common good and acting against that should be judged harshly!! If taken to an extreme it disregards personal circumstances and even a human approach towards the individual. And even if it hits innocents, the few have to take personal sacrifice for the many. Giving your life to uphold stability should be considered a good thing… right? Of course, the faulty leader should also be held responsible… So the judge becomes the judged and the executor of the ideology is destroying himself. Again, we witness the ideology's self-destructive aspect when taken to the extreme. Judgement and assigning responsibility for overstepping with no account on the human situation, looking out for the other individual or questioning where established boundaries should be pushed, will lead to draconian law where the single human being doesn’t matter in the first place! And that… doesn’t sound like a society one wants to live in, does it?Katerina has her own case of judging people albeit in a religious way. Her view splits the world into the sinners and the righteous and sentences the former to death while the others will survive what she is seeing as the plague's judgement. Do I have to elaborate why this is a bad take and why judging people to death based on being a sinner is… just awful? Especially when we look at the humbles and how some of them may have done some shit but definitely not something that warrants death. (Yulia and Rubin being examples, but I also think Lara shouldn’t like… be judged with death. Well, truth to be told I think nobody should be judged with death… Ever.) So seeing the Changeling’s power as a saintly sign is… bad not only on a societal level but also bad because pressuring a teenager like that is just a the worst. Which brings us the Humble’s second point and the one that Katerina personifies as well: Personal responsibility. The Humble ideology isn’t only about sacrificing the individual and applying judgement but also about self-reflection and taking responsibility. Which sounds really good but can be devastating when taken too far. Which brings us to Katerina’s journey of becoming a mistress and her devastating experience of trying to fit into a role that was expected of her to fill. Desperately trying to fulfil a fate that seems to be yours can destroy you. Her despair of not fulfilling as a mistress as well as a wife (in her own terms) are honestly soul wrenching and tragic. And it is an example where letting go of personal duty and seeing to oneself would have been for the best.

Okay so the Saburovs establish a society that seems awful to live in and also actively destroy themselves (they also die with their ending, something they share with the Kains). Which leaves us with… the Olgimskys. And yeah… I think we all agree that they couldn’t exactly be called a beacon of goodness in the world… The way the bull enterprise is handled is exploitative to say the least, dividing the town and enabling even more racism and class distinction. But what does that have to do with the Termites? After all, only Capella is part of the bound. Which is true but the Termite bound is also the children bound and I would dare to argue that the Olgymskys are unassigned because they represent the ruling families of the Termites but cannot apply as their bounds because of age reasons. Capella is pretty much the head of the Termites, the way Maria and Clara or Katerina are the mistresses of the other ideologies and Big Vlad… well Big Vlad is what the other ruling families are to the other factions. The best reason to stay away from it. (And I could make a point about young Vlad but to not stretch this too much, I will keep it short. Let’s just say that he has a dynamic role in the factions and more or less grows to be a Utopian and is not even really acknowledged at the Bachelor Route. I would put him in the same category as Khan and say that the Kains in themselves still are connected to the Utopian ideology. There are some really interesting parallels between Khan and Young Vlad btw. Both have strong parental issues and feel confined in their role, both appear in the letter about the Bachelor’s and the Haruspexe’s decision as a hopeful addition that isn’t fixed… I am pretty sure there is something to say about that, but this essay is not the right place for it.) There are two main themes with the Termites that are very present in the Olgimskys: stagnation and oppression. I think how the Olgimskys are specifically oppressive and moreso than the other families is pretty self-explanatory. They do not want to bind people to the law or their ideas but to themselves and especially big Vlad is very keen on ruling the town and leading its people directly and forcefully. (And while Capella is obviously the kinder part of the family, she too shares this sentiment. Her alliance with Khan is to align the two families but also to gather force with his dogheads and establish rulership.) They want to be obeyed without question or an established guidebook that gives specific reason to their judgement. But why is this specifically a problem the Termite ideology faces? Well the Termites are about ensuring peoples comfort and life and they do this for any cost. One thing this entails, is saving people from their own ambitions and forming them according to this belief. (Again, Capella’s alliance with Khan and how she sees it is a nice example). They are establishing that humanity should remain in their natural ways, complacent so to speak, while a few chosen individuals lead the town and its people. (The Termites are supposed to do this in the future that is why they need to survive in the first place.) And if we drive this belief and this “ruling as family” ideology, we arrive at Big Vlad’s doorstep. He is the father, he will take care so exactly obey to his wishes without question. Preserve the system that allows you comfort without overstepping your boundaries. Preservation of a system also means preservation of the ruling system without further questions. (And I will remind you that Forman Oyun gets overthrown because the place is not rightfully his and he sucks because of this and the right order gets restored with the right ruling family watching over the Abattoir upholding their alliance with the Olgimskys even if it is now Capella.) In its extreme the Termite ideology can lead to oppression on the guise of guidance and questioning this is not only almost impossible but only allowed to the few people already chosen as the leading caste. (Also if you want to have another look at the connection between preservation and oppression, have a look at “The Void” or “Turgor” and its Brothers which is another game by Ice Pick Lodge. Their whole stick is preserving their realm by oppressing the sisters. The Void seems to reference similar themes in general and can kind of seen as the game’s antithesis… But I digress and just wanted to recommend the game. It’s good!) Why the other problem – stagnation – is a part of preservation is easy to see, but how does it afflict the Olgimskys? Well, firstly it is a big theme in the infight the family has and the conflict that tears the Vlads apart. While Young Vlad wants to follow his legacy, he doesn’t want to follow the exact ways leading to the family breaking apart. Vlads stubbornness and his unwillingness to rectify old mistakes and… I don’t know… open the Termitary is also part of this. Closing it – while done by Young Vlad – is done to preserve the status of the town and deny the plague and its changes to society for as long as possible. A plan that is very, very costly in the long run betraying the Olgimsky’s own duty to ensure their peoples life and safety in the first place! Again, the ideology eats itself.

Of course, only talking about the most extreme and negative example isn’t entirely fair. And I think there is worth in every faction. They obviously aren’t all bad and the ruling families are twisting and radicalizing what could be a good idea. So… was this whole talk about the ruling families just some intellectual pastime that proves how the rulers are shitty but the factions in themselves aren’t? Do they only kind of suck? Or can we actually find the games stance of this radicalization and how each faction alone could affect the town negatively on a larger scale?

Part 3: The endings of the game

So let’s talk about the endings, since they are literally established as the “successful” outcome for each of the factions. And with that I mean that the fate of the town is decided in favour of one of the factions, eradicating the others and their own hopes and ambitions in return. Best it is seen with the Utopians and the Termites, whose dreams are mutual exclusive by the destruction of the town or the Polyhedron alone. But if we consider that the ending also establishes a new way of living in town and a certain social system, we can see the same with the Humbles. (We can also see this if we think of the Humbles goal as a means to restore the town at its best in favour of personal sacrifice, which still doesn’t happen in the other endings, since part of the town gets destroyed.) For the factions, the plague also brings a chance to shift the power dynamics of a town to their direction and this is referenced by several characters trying to make use of this situation or at least struggling to maintain their power. (The ruling families are again the worst offenders of this. The Kains try to guide the Bachelor to their cause from the very beginning and a lot more deliberate in the second half. The rulers’ unwillingness to even acknowledge the plague, Saburovs’ abuse of administrative power, the way Katerina urges Clara to convert townsfolk, Capella’s alliance with the Haruspex… I can go on, but I think we have talked enough about the ruling families.) Long story short: The endings are distinctly aligned with one side of the power struggle. (By the way this isn’t necessarily the endgoal the healers are striving for. I think it is apparent by now, that I align the factions more with the ruling families rather than the healers, because the healers’ first priority is getting the plague problem solved one way or the other and there are different motives for their solutions. Also they can choose a different healers opinion so they aren’t like… one hundred percent absolutely bound by their ending even if they still align with it. But I digress yet again.) So, they – as the “win” of each faction – are a good way to see how they would hold up on themselves and without the other factions interfering. I will analyse the sacrifice they put on the town as well as the society they are striving to build up (since this is what the factions are about. Changing society). Will one of them hold up and present us with a good solution?

I will not even try to create suspense. We all know, I think that they don't. They all bear sacrifices in contrast to what we had before that make the situation actively worse. A video that sums it up better than I can is SulMatul’s “Heroism in Futility; Pathologic, The Void and the Hero Narrative”. The video is really good in general but it also makes a point of pointing out, that Pathologic as well as the void do not offer a standard “good end” where the hero saves the day, because every possible solution is tainted in one way or another. The heroism Pathologic shows (as well as “The Void”) is struggling against a doomed cause and a hopeless situation despite the odds and not about becoming victorious in it. The Artbook of Pathologic 1 states as much, describing the whole scenario of the game as a trap, where the problem is that every ending can be seen as a victory as well as a failure. So, we have some strong sources but still: Let us look at the endings again and see, if my thesis holds up, that it is the ideology of the factions and the remaining of one in each ending that amplifies the problem the town will face after the catastrophe.

We’ll start with the Utopians, yet again. I think they make the most immediate impression and are easiest to describe. Because, you know… destroying a town and killing the sick is really fucking bad. (Though I feel sometimes it’s forgotten that the healthy get “vaccinated” (immunised for some hours) and evacuated before. It’s not about eradicating all townsfolk. And if I would be a true hypocrite I could be like “Do you find any infected districts and sick people on day 12 that you can’t heal, huh?” But that would be… quite ridiculous and I’m sure the sacrifice of the sick is very much intended here. Let’s just assume that it does kill the sick.) It seems hardly worth it and it very much represents the harshness of the Utopians. So, let’s see how it applies to the ideology. The ending for the most part sacrifices life and comfort for humanities progress. This is what the protection of the Polyhedron is about. The Utopians are not protecting it because they find it kind of pretty and it also is not a preservation of something culturally cool (which would be more the Termite way of thinking) because the usage of it is supposed to vary after the end of the story. (The children are leaving the tower so that the soul of Simon can be housed in the building.) But it is supposed to make the impossible possible and ensure humanities triumph over nature, break boundaries and create new impossible ideas. The visions of the new town Peter describes, tell us as much. It is not only about a building but about a new order, where the impossible is created and where the amount of energy is a crucial aspect of the vision. So, if we weight the different solutions against each other from out outside player perspective, we can see how tied the concept of the solution is to the Utopian idea. We already have a very steep sacrifice for the Utopian ideology here. The other aspect of the Utopian ending establishes this “creation through destruction” mantra that the Utopian ideology can impose in a different light: The Utopian end focuses on eradicating the plague. Which is… actually a good thing for once but still tied to the themes of the Utopians and making their involvement in it stronger. If we look at the Utopian end from a cold analytical perspective, it is literally destroying the playing board creating a tabula rasa, to start this whole town project again. (Or at least that is what our mistress Maria alludes to and who is in charge after the whole ending?…) Which is a very radical use of what the Utopians are about, carry out your vision rash, immediate and drastic and if it doesn’t work, then leave it behind and try again (the stairways to heaven tell a similar story). Which ultimately leads to a sacrifice that is way too big because the losses aren’t supposed to be considered at all.

So what about the counter thesis? If the Utopian ending is so bad, then the termite ending must be the solution. Well… it solves some problems. Mostly people not dying. Which definitely is a really good thing! But it also comes with its own drawbacks. Namely the destruction of the Polyhedron first and foremost. Which you know… doesn’t seem like that important… It's just some building. Until we reapply the meaning of eradicating the chance to work for the impossible – which the Utopian ideology enables – and a strive to triumph over nature and improve humanity as a whole. Then it suddenly becomes a huge deal. Destroying the Polyhedron is not only about destroying some cool architecture project of some very bored capital graduates (even though this is sure a thing we are doing) but about preventing humanity's progress. We are saving life but we are also preventing the chance to develop a system where humanity can grow, develop new amazing and helpful things and might even reject their mortality as a whole. And even if the last part sounds kind of insane, please consider, that Pathologic is still very much set in a world where magic and miracles exist. We rely on the magic the earth provides in both other routes, see the prophecies of the mistresses and the theatre, visit a talking rat prophet and we can see the magic of the Polyhedron when we visit it as the Bachelor on day nine and of course in the secret ending. Acting like the ambitions as well as the magic of the Utopians is completely unreachable and should be outright rejected, undermines the cost the Termite ending takes to ensure their own victory. So I would argue that there is at least the possibility of the development of humankind and progress into new developments that can help people in general that get destroyed to ensure the lives of the sick as well as the old rules of the town. And that is definitely a costly exchange! This also brings me to an argument that I hear a lot and also want to deny here: “But if the town exists, more towers and miracles can be build again so its not really that great of a loss.” And while this can hold true for the very similar Diurnal ending (if we are really nice and not deny every form of magic, which is kind of the point of that ending… but I digress), the ending in favour of the Termites negates this. Firstly, it explicitly invents a “town of men” where this strive for destroying nature should be prevented. Secondly… the whole underground fluid thing still isn’t really fixed… because that is what gets saved by the Haruspex this is his goal. Which allows for the Panacea but also means that the plague and the traditions that cause the infection aren’t actually off the table. If we would create another Polyhedron the plague would appear again. The old ways of the town are hardly questioned, and they actually cannot be – at least in a way that implies substantial progress over nature – because the laws that get re-establishes actively prevent exactly this. The thread of the plague isn’t gone completely – even if certainly postponed because of the Polyhedrons removal. And that resources run out and the knowledge gets obscured is shown how littler there even is knows about Isidor's earlier experiments. So, we are either creating a word, where humanities progress is distinctly stopped or we create a situation in which the same mistakes that will cause the plague aren’t prevented at all and humanities mistake will repeat themselves. We created a situation, where movement is not possible and actually actively prevented.

The third one – the Humble ending – establishes a balance where both structures can be preserved but movement is still possible. Which first sounds like all is good and the life of only a handful of people could be worth the cost, if we outweigh them against the systematic costs the other endings provide… right? Well… apart from peoples life’s never being a “cost”… this only can hold true if we cannot find a societal problem with this. And we can. Again, with all endings we can see the broad ideologies coming into play and so the very problem of the endings are, that they follow the factions rules so exclusively and absolute. The Utopian end sacrificing life and comfort for progress and vision, the Termite end sacrificing progress and vision for comfort and life and the humble end… what does the Humble Ending do? Well the Humble end saves the precarious balance between the Town and the Polyhedron but at the cost of personal sacrifice. While all aspects of the town may exist the same is true for the plague that gets neither destroyed nor subdued but instead is still active and handled by constantly applying a cure. A cure made out of the humans blood of those who sacrifice themselves for sustaining this very system. Which does mean we will need constant human sacrifice to sustain this system at all. And since a town and a societal system should last for quite some time and there is no other solution in sight to deal with the plague without firing a shot after all… we are facing a plethora of problems. Firstly: If we assume that for some reason the Changeling – or at least her miracles – are now as immortal as Simon was and she will not suddenly disappear leaving us with no one to even make the cure that we need, then what happens if the sinners we have chosen at the end of the game run out? And if we assume that the town will not like disappear after some years – which shouldn’t be the goal at all! – that will happen eventually. Who gets chosen and for what reason? I remind you again, that this is not a personal thing that people can do if they want, there is a societal need for people to die, it is integrated into the very system of the town. So how do we decide that? Are we just sentencing people to “cleanse themselves by human sacrifice” and just choose the worst criminals? That can be faulty and – again – the death penalty is something that we shouldn’t apply to society! Do we accept a willing sacrifices? Great, now that sounds like important and innocent life being taken for all the wrong reasons and can also hit someone who suffers from suicidal depression! Do we hope that our dear mistress continues her burden and selects who should die next.? That sounds like a horrible fate for Clara and also like a very unjust system. But sentencing someone to death because of a systematic need sounds incredibly unjust in the first place! Plus… you know with a highly contagious and deadly plague sometimes roaming the town, a cure doesn’t mean that nobody will die because of the plague. There still is a high lethality, personal reasons to obscure things and just a frightening time limit. Not to mention that the sandplague hurts before it kills so the pain aspect and the fear of the disease is still lingering. It sure is better then everyone contracting it and dying and the cure is a solution but… not exactly to every aspect of the disease, especially when we do not have the means to subdue it, that we have in the other two endings.

I hope that I was able to show that the endings might solve the catastrophe at hand, but all of them with a cost so huge that the specific solution can become debatable. Defeating the plague for good while saving the possibility to proceed further is really amazing, but destroying the entire old structure and killing the sick is a horrible tradeoff. Subduing the disease is definitely good, but at the cost of destroying the potential to enhance future life or even save more people in the long run and with integrating the enablement of repeating the same old mistakes doesn’t sound like a complete solution and more like turning the wheel and waiting for it to reappear at the same side (or you know… stopping it from turning all together). Preserving the town as well as its wonders is absolutely miraculous but allowing the plague to partake in this new system and requiring human sacrifice as a societal solution is a pretty dystopian thought. Again, the Artbook of classic Pathologic describes the whole scenario and its solutions as a trap. And it is! Because there is no right answer, we have to choose what we apply as a necessary evil and this is all we can do. There is no good ending we can find.

Conclusion: The meaning of “Utopia”

So where does that leave us? And what does that have to do with the factions? Remember the quote I used at the beginning of my argument? “The first thing a principle does is killing somebody.” And we can see the effect of this with every of the factions. The rashness and costly sacrifice of the Utopian ideals is seen by the way the Kains’ act and the loss of live the Utopian solution provides. The Termites disregard of progress and the oppression that is its result can see in the way the Olgymskiys’ handle its people as well as the sacrifice of the Termite ending. The Humbles enforcement of punishment and their harsh self-reflection influences the Saburovs’ judgement and leads to their solution at the cost of constant human sacrifice in the end.

So… does this mean that there is no hope? Should we assume that all of these solutions and ideas suck and leave this whole essay this depressed? That would be a shame and also missing the mark of what Pathologic is about. It is a tragedy, that much is true, but it is definitely not without hope and humanity. Because all the examples I use have one thing in common: They are examples of the radicalization of each faction and in its sole survival against the other factions. A principle on its own might kill. But that is why there shouldn’t be only one principle. Clara is right when she reminds the other two healers that killing one part of the town of is still killing. That there is a balance that must be uphold and we can see this balance in other characters. We can see Notkin’s idealism that is still rooted in earthly matters and a deep care for his people. We can see Eva’s kindness being born of idealism combined with her will to give herself away to other people (although this also gets taken too far in the end). And there is beauty in all three ideas. Fighting against impossible odds, caring for what is right and should be maintained, watching ourselves to help your surroundings… all of this is good! And all of these things hold solutions for the other factions. When striving for progress we need to watch our own wellbeing and the negative consequences of our actions. When preserving what is old, we have to see what should be changed, where chances for progress are and we also need to look at ourselves and not only the concept we want to preserve. Looking at our own sins and self-reflection is important, but so is our own comfort and our own goals, even if they might seem outlandish at first. By applying the different ideologies on top the one we hold dear, we can balance them out.

The best ways the ideology work – the real utopia – is a balance of all three ideologies together. That means that the best state of the town is what we witness in the beginning of the game (even if I would never call that perfect either! The exportation of the kin shows as much!) But debating and changing through the reflection of all three ideologies is in my opinion how society can be driven to it’s best. Progression is useless without looking out for each other and keeping what works and helps. Preservation leads to oppression and stagnation if self-expression is forbidden. Responsibility and duty are needed but can lead to condemnation and self-destruction if it isn’t balanced out. But comfort while allowing progress. Duty while allowing self-expression. That is what can only be archived through active dialogue. This is, why this game is a trap. This is why every ending falls apart: Because we have to choose. Every end is a victory, but it also is a failure. Something has to be destroyed. And even a miracle can only work on the back of its people. But this choice is the exact reason why. Being only allowed to follow one of the factions by radicalizing all three of them at the end of the game we are not allowed to make a decision that could benefit everyone. And this is – at the end of it all – the tragedy of Pathologic.

#Pathologic #Pathologic factions #Spoiler warning #ending discussion #I sure hope you enjoy this essay!

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planesofduality · 4 years

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The Story Behind Solas with Dragon Age Lead Writer Patrick Weekes - Dialogue Wheel (Part 3 of 3)

The final piece of the interview!

Here is Part 1, Part 2

Time: 25:35

One of the most beautiful scenes I think in Dragon Age Inquisition is the scene that you get with Solas if you play as a female elf Inquisitor. Talk a little bit about that choice to have this romance option very, very specific. It’s race- and gender- specific. Why that scene - what that scene meant and a lot of the subtext, because it is a very rich sequence of scenes, not just one. And, I think it’s really one of the most interesting romances in the game.

I love that scene because that scene for me shows how far we’ve gone past - not the make myself irrelevant anymore - but how far we’ve gone with the digital acting. Jonathan Epp the cine-designer for that scene put it together and when you take everything that Gareth David Lloyd - the voice actor - everything he did on his lines. And just putting so much tragedy, and making it clear in every line that he wants to say more than he can. And with Jon Epp the cine-designer, just in the wordless scenes: showing the tragedy, showing the heartbreak, showing how much he does genuinely care against his better judgement, and how he finally forces himself to step away.,

You know how I said when we were talking about the Iron Bull - everything, every major moment we do, is there for a specific type of player fantasy fulfillment. And you know, not all types of fantasies are the happy ones. There’s a reason why The Phantom of the Opera was on Broadway for so many years and it’s not because it has a happy ending.

The Phantom of the Opera isn’t exactly the theme for the romance - the razor was something closer to almost professor and student in some ways. He definitely comes across as a mentor in some ways. When he finally steps back it is him beating himself up, not you, saying “Wow what I have done here is actually really unfair to you, and you, player, at the time don’t know that I’m beating myself up because I’m actually 1000s of years old and not the person you think I am and it’s disrespectful to you for me to continue this relationship.” So it’s a very moral perspective for our ancient, quasi-evil, trickster god to come with.

Time: 28:41

And it’s amazing because it’s another instance of content that so few players would actually get an opportunity to see. When it comes to making it that specific, I guess, why was that choice made? Because usually a lot of your content - most of the Dragon Age content - it’s very easy to get really rich, wonderful characters right in your face and have those wonderful “eat-em-up” experiences, why for this one was it such a steep price to get in?

You know, I won’t lie, a lot of it came from some of our designers. Some of the women in the design department really, really loving his voice and saying, “You are absolutely fools if you do not make him romance-able in some capacity.” And, really, his story overall is - and, you know, I think we’ve only hinted at that but I think we have hinted at it enough that I can at least say this part of it - his story isn’t a happy one. His story is one, where, if you look at him and Mythal, there is clearly some grief, there is clearly some tragedy. And, adding in the option - even for players who don’t take it - on my end as a writer, knowing that some players will have this as a star-crossed, forbidden romance, you know, it makes him more sympathetic. It’s important to me as a writer because when you’re writing about someone who, according to Flemeth, is at least somewhat responsible for the bad guy getting the magical item that he used to blow up half a mountain in the prologue, it’s important to have something in there that you can always have, as a writer, look at as your touchstone and go “This is a real person. This is someone who experiences sadness. This is someone who falls in love.” Even if he doesn’t do it with that Inquisitor on that playthrough, this is always someone who can be like that.

Time: 30:58

Where do you see a character like Solas ending up?

(Big sigh) Musical theater.

(laughs) Right when we reach those beautiful moments, Patrick!

I think that it is fantastic that people have emotionally engaged with Solas and I hope we get a chance to explore that in some future content.

Alright and that’s the most that we’re getting right now.

Time: 31:37

Oh, and here’s a little tie in: Here Lies the Abyss, the demon that spoke to Solas - what was all that about, what was that going on?

Oh yes - the demon who speaks perfect Elven!

Yes perfectly to him, and if you remember any of that - did you have anything to do with that?

Yes, Here Lies the Abyss was mine. It was a fun plot. It was a terrifyingly difficult plot, because - I’m not sure how clear this is to players that have one done one playthrough or with one import state - but your key characters throughout the events at Adamant Fortress and then the events of the Fade, it’s a customizable Hawke. Which means it could be a male Hawke or a female Hawke and within that, Hawke from Dragon Age 2 is characterized by one of three different attitudes: friendly, grim, or sarcastic. So, that’s three attitudes times two genders, that’s six different Hawkes and three different possible Grey Wardens: Alistair, Loghain, or Stroud. So, the process of going through Adamant Fortress and then going through the Fade was a crazy juggling act of trying to keep track of “Okay, now one of these five people, these five Schrodinger’s cat quantum people, will say this line, and then another of these five Schrodinger’s cat quantum people will respond with this line.”

It’s important to remember that as we went through everything in Adamant Fortress and the Fade was taking place in that contest. There was a long period time when we were looking at that really going, “Okay, I just have to hope this actually makes sense when it’s nothing but Alistair and my sarcastic female Hawke.”

But, to actually answer your question. As I recall, the Nightmare, who as a friendly, chipper guy was basically - I do basically two types of villains: I do the villain who thinks he or she is the hero, and is misguided and has opposed goals, and is kind of tragic and tortured in that way. And then I do the mean-girl villain who says snotty high school insults.

That’s it - that’s the gambit.

Well, just about, yes. I’m looking forward to see who writes the villain in the future Dragon Age games - so get ready for either tragic pathos or really, really good high school mean-girl zingers.

As I recall, he was speaking Elven to Solas and if I remember right, he said, “Your pride is responsible for everything that has gone wrong” and I think he said “You will die alone.” And then Solas said something that translates to either “Nothing is known for certain” or “Not necessarily.”

And what does all that mean?

Well I think it’s fascinating that people are emotionally engaged, and I hope we have the chance -

It was a very asked question - it was a question that was asked a lot. Specific to that.

Oh, I’m not surprised, and I hope one day that we can tell you. But, obviously, that demon knows that Solas is hurting and Solas feels guilty about some stuff and really wanted to dig in there, and Solas was shouting back.

Literally just describing what happened (laughs). All right, so something that will clearly be talked about in other games.

TIme: 36:22

Dealing with this particular quest I really think that this was one opportunity to involve the Grey Wardens in a story, and a world, that kind of progressingly, after the first game had less and less of a need to exist - let alone in the world - but in the main characters arc. Talking to David I remember initially there was some idea for this particular mission they would just fall into the hole and be hanging out in the Deep Roads, and having out with the dwarves, so tell us a little bit about this creation.

A lot of the process of writing these large plots, like I talked about the razor, you figure out what the core concept is, you always start with a lot of things, and in most cases what you then end up having to do is cut. And if you’re not someone in the studio, talking about having to cut things sounds like you’re losing awesome content, you’re ruining what would have been clearly the best part of the plot. Inside the studio though, most cases what you’re cutting is the stuff that didn’t actually help tell the story you wanted to tell.

So yes in the original version, in a very early draft, actually this was before I was actually on the plot - this predates me - there was, yes, going into the Deep Roads, and when you fell in instead of ending up in the Fade you ended up down in the dark. And finding out what the Grey Wardens in this version of the story had been involved with the Architect from Dragon Age: Awakening. It was an interesting direction, and it was, I think, a very cool direction, but it did not help tell the story of the Inquisition. It was more a story of “Hey, if we wanted to do more with the Hero of Fereldan, here is an interesting place we could go” and it did not help tell the story of “What is the Inquisition doing?” “What is Corypheus doing?”, “How do these two organizations bounce off each other and who’s caught in the middle?” So trying to come to terms with the Grey Wardens in this game not being the protagonists, not being the group that is in the center of the action but being the group that is caught in the middle of this power struggle was something that led to us having to eventually do the re-jiggering that got us to the plot you saw.

#solas #dragon age #patrick weekes #patrick weekes interview #da4 #dragon age: inquisition #dai #solas x lavellan #dread wolf #the dread wolf rises #dragon age 4 #dragon age lore #fen'harel #fenharel #part 3

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adamwatchesmovies · 4 years

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The Best of 2019

What a year. By the time 2019 ended, I had seen over 130 new movies. It's actually probably closer to 150 but I lost count. There are a few titles I missed, such as The Dead Don’t Die, The Fanatic and Honeyland so obviously, this is not an all-encompassing, definitive list of 2019’s best, but it should give you a good idea of which films you need to check out if you haven’t already.

I usually like to save the #10 spot on my list for a movie that’s just for me. Normally, this would mean a giant monster movie, an off-beat creation nobody else saw, a comic book movie that spoke to my particular tastes or maybe a Canadian movie I know didn’t get the opportunity to shine like it should’ve. This year, that’s not happening. Trimming my list down to 10 was hard enough. I certainly wasn’t going to sacrifice one more to make it just 9. Let's dig in.

10. The Farewell

It’s been weeks since The Farewell and I’m still thinking about it. If I was put in the same position as Billi, I'm not sure what I'd do? Is it better to tell someone that's dying that their days are numbered, or should you spare them from that burden? Is it really them you’d be sparing, or is keeping the secret for your own selfish needs? Writer/director Lulu Wang asks serious questions about culture I had never contemplated before. There’s a lot for you here and even more if your family comes from mixed backgrounds.

9. A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

I heard some complaints about Fred Rogers (Tom Hanks) not being the main character of this film by Marielle Heller, from writers Micah Fitzerman-Blue and Noah Harpster. It was the right choice. The plot has a cyical reporter meet Rogers and through their relatively brief interaction, learn what we knew going in. It delivers a moving character arc without having to stain its subject with flaws we didn't want to see. The quasi-meta presentation is what elevates it into top-10 status. That extra touch means it does a lot more than simply re-iterate what we saw in the 2018 documentary Won't You Be My Neighbor?.

8. Knives Out

Knives Out is one of the most entertaining films all year. There are no profound moments of meditation, no earth-shattering realizations about yourself, just a mystery to be solved. All the suspects are so intriguing they could be the stars of their own movies. Put together in the same house as a dead body and you’ve got no idea who did it. Its screenplay is excellent. The twists are juicy. Everything ads up in a satisfying manner. Rian Johnson is already working on a sequel. I can’t wait.

7. Apollo 11

There are few holdovers from the list I made halfway through the year, which either says something about the strength of the second half of 2019, or the weakness of the first. Either way, you’ve got to see Apollo 11. It’s the closest thing to going back in time and being there when man landed on the moon. The tension and anticipation are overwhelming. Knowing what happened doesn't matter. The way the footage is assembled is nothing short of incredible. Why this documentary wasn't present at the Academy Awards is beyond me.

6. Uncut Gems

Adam Sandler should’ve been nominated for an Oscar. He wasn’t. I’ll bet you dollars to donuts it's because of his association with all of those brain-dead Happy Madison Production comedies. His history with cinema shouldn't matter. The movie is what matters. The fact is, this was the perfect role for him. It isn’t even that Sandler’s doing something different, it’s that he’s being used to his full potential. If you weren’t glued to the screen, eager to see what’s coming next, this movie would have you jumping out of the window screaming - anything to escape the anxiety the Safdie Brothers serve up with devilish grins.

5. The Lighthouse

Next on my list is The Lighthouse. Right away, the aspect ratio and black-and-white cinematography lets you know you’re in for something different. You have no idea. What I love so much about this film is the way it handles madness. At the end of the day, I’m not sure if I could tell you if Robert Pattinson’s character was crazy, if Willem Dafoe’s character was the nutty one, or if they both were. It shows you just enough to make you doubt your own sanity. It’s also unexpectedly funny, which makes it feel oddly genuine. In one scene, Robert Pattinson's Ephraim Winslow gets a hold of the lighthouse's logs. In it, his boss, Thomas (Willem Dafoe) recommends Ephraim be disciplined for masturbating excessively. Considering Thomas has been cavorting with some kind of tentacle creature up in the lighthouse (at least that's what I think I saw, I'm not so sure anymore), all you can do is laugh. What kind of loony bin is this turning into? One I'm looking forward to revisiting.

4. 1917

Shot in a way that makes it all look like one take, 1917 is a technical marvel. It hooks itself up to your circular system and steadily replaces your blood with pure, undistilled stress. As you're about to flatline, it stops and gives you a breather. A shot of a meadow untouched by the ravages of war; a reminder of what the soldiers are fighting for and of how utterly devastating armed combat is on humanity as a whole. Gorgeous cinematography, powerful emotions, magnificent production values.

3. Joker

Along with Godzilla: King of the Monsters (a movie they basically made for me), this was my most anticipated movie of the year. To get ready, I watched Taxi Driver and The King of Comedy, two Scorsese films Joker director Todd Phillips drew a lot of inspiration from. For some reason, it seems as though many critics took offense to the similarities. Sometimes I understand differing opinions from mine. This time, I don’t. It’s a great film that warns of the dangers of letting people like Arthur Fleck (brilliantly performed by Joaquin Phoenix) fall through the cracks. Left unchecked, he discovers that by doing terrible things, he becomes a “better” version of himself. It’s not a drama. It’s a horror movie that spins the familiar Batman archenemy in a new direction but also stays true to the character. There are several scenes in this movie that are going to be permanently imprinted in my brain. Those stairs. Need I say more?

Runner-ups

Avengers: Endgame

Even if every single Marvel movie going forward is awful, this caps off the whopping 22-chapter saga epically. A couple of aspects bugged me enough that it could only manage to make the runner-up list but it's a terrific film.

Booksmart

The funniest comedy of the year. I think back to Amy and Molly using their hairs as masks and still can't manage to hold back a few chuckles months later.

Toy Story 4

This one was hard to cut. The only flaw I could find was that it isn’t on the same level as 3… even though they’re both 5-star movies.

Midsommar

I’ve heard the extended cut is even better than the original. I wish I’d had the chance to see it in theatres.

Jojo Rabbit

Audacious and heartfelt. I loved those scenes of Scarlett Johanson being a mom. Her agent might've dropped the ball getting her cast in Ghost in the Shell but she sure knew how to pick great work in 2019.

Once Upon a Time in Hollywood

Quentin Tarantino brings us back to a time when Roman Polanski was simply a good director instead of a convicted rapist, movie stars were untouchable, and the death of someone’s wife under mysterious circumstances was nothing to raise eyebrows about. It’s not a movie that screams “here and now”. If anything, it’s regressive. That said, I cannot deny the experience I had watching it. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime kinda thing and I doubt even Tarantino could pull it off again. I wonder how many people went in knowing what happened to Sharon Tate like I did.

Marriage story

It’s nothing but raw emotion and powerhouse performances in this drama about two people you love going through a divorce. I always make it my goal to watch movies all the way through without any interruptions. Several times throughout, I was tempted to hit "Pause" so I could catch my breath.

Internet lists are everywhere. You know why, don’t you? They suck you in and when you get down to it, most don’t require all that much effort to put together. Except when I make them, apparently. These bi-annual lists always turn out to be difficult to put together. 2019's proved particularly arduous. I’m fairly sure that my #3 movie belongs there. Out of all the movies on this list, it’s probably the one I’m going to go back to most often. The other two? I’d say that technically, one may be better than the other but I think the other one is “more important” so that gives it the edge. What I’m trying to say is, they’re all winners and on a different day, I might even swap them around.

2. Little Women

I have only seen three of the seven silver screen adaptations of Louisa May Alcott’s novel and I don’t expect any of the others to top this one. The secret ingredient to this one's success is Greta Gerwig. Writing and directing, she does so much more than merely translate the classic to movie form. She re-arranges the story to give the events a greater punch than they would if they were shown chronologically and puts a little more emphasis on a couple of key moments (that tear-jerking Christmas, for example) to crank up the emotion. She also makes it more modern without having to change anything about the setting or characters. Admittedly, the back-and-forth between the past and present is a little jarring at first - makes you wonder what Greta Gerwig could’ve done had she been given the de-aging budget Martin Scorsese was given - but that’s where the performances and costumes come in. It takes mere moments before you get what the movie is doing. I’ve said it already but it made me cry.

1. Parasite

To make this list, I didn’t go through all of my past reviews and check which ones were rated what. I thought back to which movies gave me the most vivid memories, which ones gave me the biggest reactions. I’m still not sure how I feel about the final final moment but there’s so much about Parasite that I admire. This would be a great one to watch with others just to see their reactions to the reveal about the bookcase.

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mariabumby · 5 years

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Occult Concepts you might have missed in Good Omens

Nah, I get it, we’re ethereal not occult. But you’d be lying to yourself truly, if you said you weren’t interested in the occultism, philosophy daresay ontology presented in the Show in the Good Omens. And in case you haven’t stared in the bath shower and deeply and meaningfully assessed the concepts underlying your favorite apocalyptic romp. Then I’m Here to Do that for you.

Ofcourse you obviously should have watched the show.

Ready?

As you’ll ever be.

1. Choice is part of Humanity

It all started and ended with a garden. The two main characters being the ones who… hmm godfathered this aspect of humanity.

Crowley, the snake, who tempted people to first ever know what good and bad is. And Aziraphale – an angel who either let, or was incompetent enough to let it happen. Didn’t even try to smite the first two humans or the demon Crowley. Just this awkward fumbling on top of a garden wall with an impending storm.

This is repeated again by the angel when he is reprimanded by the archangels – it is not for “us” (angelic realm) to decide – the humans have free will to decide good and bad.

And in the whole course of the story – these two almost eternal entities have “gone native”. Or acted more human. Liked sushi, liked wine, and bentleys and music.

And Made their Own Decisions.

Especially for Aziraphale, who disobeyed orders for the first time in his really long life. It was uncalled for, an act of “treason”. Crowley by the end even said “i think the big one will be “all of us” vs “all of them”“referring to all of humanity vs heaven and hell.

He referred to himself as human. He’s choosing to be human, by the end of the story. Just as much as Aziraphale redefined himself by exploring who he is outside of the angelic box, Crowley has been since the beginning was quite intent with being a lousy demon anyway.

Yes he did tempting. But he is so gloriously an incompetent demon. And as etheric beings, these two are very relatable to the audience, acting as main characters and the main POV that the audience lives through. And they’re not cold or of higher existence (like some angel channellings). They’re so delectably human. Not because this is a piece of fiction, because the whole argument is:

They want to be human. They like their choices, no matter what the consequences.

Which is echoed by adam by the end, who reckoned any apple was worth eating and worth the consequences. And by what manner is this occult?

Well in Ken Wilber’s model of consciousnesses, the difference of humans from other living beings — what separates us from vegetable, animal and sky is our capacity to define itself. Meaning tomatoes more or less tomatoes. But humans have an almost infinite limit on being anything. They define themselves – that is our nature.

Our Choice is our humanity.

And as much we kind of hate out existence a lot of times, it’s really refreshing to see near immortals liking and even being jealous of the way we exist. Of what would be the shaded echoes of our flailing in “who am i” and so forth…

2. There’s Good in Evil, there’s Bad in Good

Or otherwise known as paradoxes and koans being the underlying fiber of all of reality… say what?In every creation lies destruction. In every delusion reality. In every push a pull. In every death a birth, in every order there is chaos.

Two sides of the same coin. Or in taoism would be the yin yang symbol.

Meaning, Good Omens doesn’t just argue against moral dogmatism…

Good Omens, if you look hard enough, is saying opposites dance inside of each other. All. the damn. time.

The two characters are literally sworn enemies (angel vs demon) who find allyship. The destroyer of worlds is the one who saves it (adam). The major screw-up that made everything start aren’t even necessarily people being bad or good but people being people.

Which really argues not for a moral gray area but an acceptance that we’re paradoxically both all the time depending from which way you’re looking and interpreting. Meaning it’s a mess, it’s crazy, partly why it’s so ineffable, and that maybe we shouldn’t be so stuck up thinking so highly of ourselves.

How is this occult? Well. You’ve ever heard of shadow work? Chaos Magick and Sigils? Have you ever actually met occultists who unironically summon demons with a dagger and a cup and spill their own blood whole shebang?

I have. I even fell in love with one. But the point of the matter is, that this logic isn’t some cutesy theme for your supernatural romp. It is an actual force of nature harnessed by actually living witches and mages. Meaning the dark – the things you’re afraid of facing, what lies in your subconscious, the forces of destruction, bad luck and curses — it all operates under that assumption.

That it is the half of the coin of existence. That as much as we hate to face our traumas, that some people would get triggered and regressed and spiral to really hellish shit – the treasures you seek are in the cave you’re most afraid of. Or the demon you’re most afraid of. Or the scar you’re most horrified to feel because you think it will eat you alive.

A lot of occult work is mastering your demons- your self, your fears. Utilising fear to your own advantage, acknowledging it, dancing with it. And gaining greater awareness.

And recognising they’re you’re best friend and they’re looking out for you. Kind of like how Crowley undoes Aziraphale and allows him to walk into what he most fears. Betraying heaven. Through, well.. Love which is the unconditional empty space which allows the two opposites to play. Or leela, in yoga.

3. What the demon Crowley has, is the power of the imagination.

The story is not short of law of attraction moments. Or let’s just say the whole operation of how things come into being with a human boy having no upper limit of choosing how things should be.

Should I remind you, both the anti-christ and christ came here to be human? What is this facet of human being that these supernatural forces might want?

Oh right I talked about (1) already.

Anyway, take it from me your friendly neighborhood actual witch that is Magick. Old School Magick, simply willing things to existence. And I’m actually seriously happy with how occultic-ly consistent this entire series is?

It’s even, loving?? with the usual topics that cover any good wiccan new age enthusiasts in how it depicts Anathema and atlantis and the fascination with peace loving aliens. Which leads me to another paradox which I’ll write as (3.5)

3.5 It is written.

Paradoxically [2] you both have Choice [1] and Destiny [3.5] coexisting in your narrative.

Every rebelling that Crowley and Aziraphale did that was against their etheric nature was written in Agnes’ Nutter’s book. It was both a choice and destiny.

Even Anathema who was loyal to her family’s prophecies and takes pride in being a witch, burned the next prophecies of Agnes Nutter not wanting to be just a descendant. Another choice, or maybe just another destiny.

Aziraphale and Crowley themselves comment on this in the bench waiting for a bus to come asking – what if this was part of her divine plan? What if all this choosing and fighting was planned too?

And they only answer — who knows? What if they’re the same thing?

As much as I seriously adore the #ineffablehusbands, I also adore how deep into the occult philosophical rabbit hole you can get in terms of duality and what it means to be human with this giant ass story. Which is also handled so well by so many of the fandom’s art and fanfiction in AUs and interpretations of demon!Crowley and angel!aziraphale as humans or in their post-apocalyptic humanly existence may it be cottage or bench.

How do humans judge themselves to be unforgivable? In how many viewers is --an Aziraphale who can only think of themself as this “good” or as a Crowley who can only think of themself as “forsaken”?

How are we paradoxical and human? How can this be an okay thing to be? Something left to be desired by our favorite demon and angel?

Good Omens is hopeful. It’s underlying beliefs, are beautiful, loving and yeaaaa occult. A+ from this witch right ere.

Here’s my occult esoteric blog if ya’ll curious:

https://wanwuspiritlibrary.com/start-here/

#ineffable husbands #good omens #neil gaiman #crowley #aziraphale #occultism #occult #good omens spoilers #david tennant #michael sheen #terry pratchett #good omens analysis #occultAF #here's my essay writing contest entry yall better read it

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dizzyhslightlyvoided · 4 years

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So when I was an egg in high school, I created a self-insert OC named Yar Kramer. I used him for a bunch of RPs, and several works of fiction, only one of which I actually completed. There were like two sprite comics and one thing I made that was literally just "sprites + dialogue and descriptions of the action", plus an unpublished and incomplete novel.

The original original roleplay was on a Hitchhiker's Guide website called the H2G2, created by Douglas Adams as an attempt at realizing the eponymous Guide (which has been largely supplanted by Wikipedia). My username was originally "Adolescent White American [wronggender] Who Likes 47" (I liked the number 47 to its frequency in Star Trek); people shortened this to "Yankee Kid, likes 47" and subsequently "YK-47" and just "YK", which I backronym'd to "Yaradovich Kramer"[sic], after Yaridovich from Super Mario RPG and Cid Kramer from Final Fantasy 8. He was originally a coolkid Jedi in a red jacket, but at some point I retconned it to generic "psychic powers."

I also roleplayed him on a few RP MUDs, but I don't really remember any details there.

The "Original" Story

The novel was going to be called "Red Jacket", I think. "Yar Kramer" was a witness-protection alias, and his original name was Daniel Lancaster (hmmmm, someone's primary identity doesn't match their birth name!); he and his family had been forced to work for an evil organization called Project Robinson, which intended to create genetically-engineered espers for reasons I'm not sure about now. Project Robinson was led by an evil scientist called Dr. Krause and a computer named Mother Brain; I justified stealing the name "Mother Brain" because there were three unrelated video games which featured a character by that name (Metroid, Phantasy Star II on the Genesis, and Chrono Trigger).

The Grim Reaper was a woman who talked in underlined dialogue, and whacked people over the head with her scythe rather than actually reaping. She'd changed her form in the 1960s because she found the whole "skeleton" deal to be depressing. She had a black motorcycle with a flame pattern and the text "Pale Horse", and the souls she collected traveled in a pink sidecar which said "Binky" on the side in Comic Sans (where "Binky" is obviously a Discworld reference). When I created this in the 00's, there was totally nothing significant about a character who'd clearly changed her gender, nuh-uh.

Yar's love interest was Mackenzie Robinson, one of Project Robinson's creation. Despite the fact that the gummint had an active hand in extracting Yar's family from Project Robinson, there was some FBI/CIA spook called Agent Pinkerton who hounded Mackenzie like Inspector Javert. I know he had a classmate named Eckhart, who was this ratty-faced jerk with a heart of gold, who was inspired by one of my RL classmates.

I also found a half-written script for a comic, which gets as far as a prologue, followed by a scene which estalishes the witness protection business. Yar jokingly introduces himself Trigun-style as "Yaradovich Halvorsen Thompson-Stryfe-Gainsborough Donatello Leonard Raphael Michelangelo Farnsworth Anderson-Smith Jean-Luc Jones Solo Pepper Tibloxley Amelia Fayette-Mahoney Kierkegaard Williamtonshireworth Melora Kramer I." Wow. Let's see, "Halvorsen" and "Kierkegaard Williamtonshireworth Melora" are clearly made from whol cloth, and I'm not sure where "Jones" came from, but other than that, I can see in order ... Trigun (Thompson and Stryfe), Final Fantasy VII (Strife and Gainsborough), all four Ninja Turtles, Futurama, The Matrix, Star Trek, Star Wars, Cowboy Bebop (re-engrished "Pepelu Tivruski"), and Slayers. Again, wow.

First Reality

The "main" sprite comic, which was a sort of Final Fantasy parody made mostly in RPG Maker, and which ran from 2001 to 2004 on Keenspace. Yar Kramer was a "Neo-Samurai" (basically a ripoff of SeeD from Final Fantasy 8), fighting alongside a dude named Shigeru 'Gary' Oak (Gary Oak except as an adult, with a gunblade and dressed as Seifer Almasy, with no sign of any pokemon), and Tina Branford (Terra Branford without her tragic backstory).

The setting was incomprehensible if you didn't have detailed knowledge of Final Fantasy 6, 7, 8, and also Mega Man X; nearly every single place name was named after something from Final Fantasy except for Death Mountain, where they went to in order to get the Triforce (long story). A pink-haired goofy-and-hyperactive Celes Chere was the princess of Mysidia, and was a FF8-Sorceress; she frequently went in disguise as a thief named Fobby, and used a Reploid named Dancer as a body-double.

The main villain was named Darklumen, and his evil plan was to destroy the world by weakening the fabric of existence by leveraging sprite comic cliches, thus demonstrating that I have always been Like That. (The fact that I had a direct author avatar called the "Ultimate Guardian Force" with semi-omnipotent powers over the comic isn't even worth dwelling on, because omnipotent "author" characters are par for the course with sprite comics.)

The other party members: Kefka Palazzo, who was the court jester for Mysidia; Enerion Imusen, a half-Esper who was invented from whole cloth, who overcame his hangups about being half-esper with Tina's help before he got killed off by the bad guy; and "Rock Light" (because one of the reality-damaging sprite comic cliches was "Mega Man is present"), who was actually the Great Guardian Force Yu-Yevon in disguise for convoluted reasons.

In the ending, it's mentioned that Gary marries Princess Celes, and sort of vaguely implies that Yar ends up with Tina. (Tina made actual romantic overtures to Yar halfway through the comic, but they were interrupted by shallow comedy.)

I absolutely refused to let go of a running gag in which a male character would say something that broke the fourth wall, and at least one female character would immediately yell at him for doing so.

... I actually found some MIDI songs in the First Reality files which I personally composed. Well ... I say "composed", but the Darklumen final boss music was clearly based on the Super Smash Bros 1's Final Destination music with techno-twittering from All Your Base, one was based on a boss theme from Final Fantasy X combined with anime music, and Yar Kramer's personal themesong was chiefly based on Glyde's theme from The Misadventures of Tron Bonne.

YaraY

The other sprite comic, hosted on a subdirectory of First Reality's site. The name came from Yar's evil twin, Ray Remark ("Yar" and "Kramer" spelled backwards), and also from the Japanese expression "yare yare" (translated in JJBA "good grief").

It was a shallow Bob and George-esque thing with Mega Man sprites, and invovled Yar's shenanigans opposite Ray Remark; a straightlaced roommate with blue hair named Elbert Ssab (I don't know where I got "Elbert" from, but I came up with "Ssab" after noticing that "Elbert" backwards is "Treble"); a Reploid named Jive who was an orange recolor of Zero from Mega Man Zero; and a girl in a pink shirt named Kira, whose character concept began and ended with "hyperactive blonde girl." At one point, there was a comic which depicted First Reality as an actual console RPG being played by Kira; this comic was then ported directly to First Reality.

I abruptly stopped updating it in the middle of a story arc in which Jive went off with a group Maverick Hunters which inexplicably included Zio from Phantasy Star 4, who was just there to be generically evil rather than actually pursuing any of his canonical goals.

Super Adventure Yar

And finally, the "sprites plus dialogue" thing. It used whatever anime, video game, and internet characters I was interested in at any given moment, and there were inserts from several people I knew online. All of whom were basically overpowered in some respect, i.e. one of the friend-inserts was literally just a redheaded Goku in a trench coat, except his Saiyan name was "Suckarot". It was the most absurd and ridiculous of these things.

Yar was your basic inexplicably-overpowered action-shounen protagonist, and people kept going "What!? Why is he so powerful!?" (If there was going to be an explanation, I never got a chance to give it and I don't remember what it was, but I doubt there was anything reasonable.) Of course, this was also true of pretty much every protagonist.

His fighting style involved throwing energy blasts, and his signature move was named "Island King Kamehameha", because I knew the etymology of the Dragonball attack, but the kind of creative person I was at the time was that nuance, self-awareness, and "general understanding of what I was putting into my stories" were something that happened to other people.

Mayl Sakurai was impulsively violent with a squeaky-mallet.

At one point, while the protagonists were discussing a plot point which Mayl wasn't present for, she said, "What the hell are you talking about?" and then tossed an entire burger into her mouth.

Cut Man's NetNavi was FishMan.exe.

Yar bought Chii Chobits from Strong Bad, who ran an unbelievably shady second-hand electronics store; Chii's copycat tendencies extended to copying other peoples' magic and superpowers.

He also bought a generic NetNavi and expressed the intention to customize it, but all sign of NetNavis were dropped after a few episodes.

The "ageless faceless gender-neutral culturally-ambiguous adventuring person" (AFGNCAAP) from Zork/Enchanter was one of the main characters. They frequently used spells from Enchanter such as "gaspar" ("provide for your own resurrection" -- basically like a Final Fantasy "Auto-Life" spell, but AFGNCAAP was also able to use it on others), "vaxum" ("make hostile creature friendly", and every single target which it actually worked on promised to kill them after it wore off), "krebf" ("repair willful damage"), and "talcor" (healing; this seems to be something I made up myself, because I can't find any references to it in Enchanter canon).

I insisted on using "he/she" and the like instead of just the singular "they", wow I was deep in the egg in 2004. But they did say "I don't have a gender" at one point!

Magus/Janus from Chrono Trigger was trying to take over the world using robotic Sinistars. His minions were "the Terrible Trio", which consisted of Onslaught from Marvel vs. Capcom 1, Dalton from Chrono Trigger, and Dynamo from Mega Man X.

I stole the "now I'm wet and on fire!" joke from the webcomic Adventurers! during a fight between Dalton and AFGNCAAP.

Magus got a Vegeta-style "suddenly I happen to be on the same side of the heroes" redemption with the sudden arrival of, um, the Saiyans. Starting with Raditz as just a retread of Dragonball Z.

After Raditz was beaten, he sent a message to Vegeta and "Zappa", who was just Nappa but with a terrible wig and an atrocious southern accent; I have no idea what I was going for there.

The planet Arlia from Dragonball Z was populated by clones of Alia from Mega Man X5. It had the same fate as in the show, namely that Vegeta and Zappa just casually blew it up after going on a rescue-a-princess quest.

There was an "It's a gundam!" joke there.

The Goku-expy friend-insert taught Yar how to fly Hitchhiker's Guide-style ("throw yourself at the ground and miss"), and how to use bullet-time.

Mayl trained under Magus. At one point, while she was fighting a friend-insert with a sniper rifle (who'd previously stolen everyone's wallets for no apparent reason), Magus remarked that she had "hidden potential" and noted that in her hands, her squeaky mallet was just as powerful as the sniper rifle.

Vash the Stampede showed up, and the plot promptly started getting derailed as everyone around him dropped everything to try to claim his $60 billion bounty (Onslaught, to Dalton and Dynamo: "We'll split it 50-50-50!").

At one point, Vash ran off with Chii for reasons that only slightly made sense in context, and Yar chased them to a town called Las Eisley.

The three of them got into a bar fight at a "restaulant"[sic] (I thiiiink this was originally actual engrish from Trigun itself?) which completely wrecked the building.

After the bar fight, Yar called up AFGNCAAP to make repairs using the krebf spell; AFGNCAAP asked, "Was all the damage willful?" and Yar replied, "Well, I definitely proceeded in the full knowledge that massive destruction would occur." Due to the rules of sprite-comic comedy, this was enough for krebf to work.

There was a "Dear Strong Bad, how do you type with boxing gloves on?" joke.

In the middle of everything else, I started writing an episode introducing Valkyries and Loki -- which displayed a surprisingly deep knowledge of Norse mythology on 18-year-old-me's part -- but I never finished it and my files don't even have the sprites for the main Valkyrie character, who was another friend-insert.

... All of these continuities just feel amazing to me in retrospect, because this is the kind of thing that can only happen in fanfiction. Only something using existing characters, our existing associations with these characters, can possibly reach this level of ridiculousness.

Which isn't to say it's all fun and games, though. I was a particularly un-woke Rotten Egg, which meant that there was rampant sexism, and lowkey fanservice. The concept might look fun, but the execution was invariably "the worst parts of the sprite comic fandom."

#yar kramer #original character #fanfiction #trans stuff #my stuff #re: my stuff #meta #shenanigans #meta shenanigans #bob and george #violence mention #death mention #sexism mention #long post in link

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discardedimage · 4 years

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The Day When Man was Born

For those interested in a theological “explanation” of what is going on in the short story that follows, scroll to the bottom. Not everything is explained there, but you will understand the basics of why I constructed the narrative this way. It is obviously fictional but it is meant to illustrate aspects of real expectation. As explained at the bottom, this is not about the Second Coming and the general resurrection.

In the six thousandth year since the Creation of Heaven and Earth, at the dawn of the Fourth Age, these things happened…

The skies were brighter than the children of Adam had ever seen them- and the brightness was of a different sort than the brightness of the ages past. Here one color was not brighter than the other- nor did one glory overwhelm and conceal others, as Sol had indeed concealed the stars of Deep Heaven until that day. All instead beheld the whole rainbow- indeed, each saw the whole in its every part. In the blueness he beheld great yellows, woven together perfectly and so becoming perfectly themselves. In the reds he saw brilliant purples and crystalline golds and colors first seen and named on that day. Each radiance was a mirror of all the others. All saw, and most rejoiced- and of the few who were repulsed even then, most were healed. (Of the very few who would not be unbent, I know nothing.)

“And now”, said Heaven, “the time has come for the real beginning.”

For three ages He had worked. And though the stench that came in the dawn of the first age had thickened the air of our world, the real smells were not overcome. In the second age He mustered an army, and when its number was ready, He came to lead it to war. At the close of that age he struck fatally the fallen prince of this world upon his head. And so He who had before worked in secret blew His trumpet and laid siege to the dark lord’s stronghold. In the third age He made great war against His enemy, and at the age’s end, when the black archon boasted of his great strength, the siege broke him and cast him down. And though still many ages were to come before the world had been made ready for that Great Morning of which this was the smallest taste, it was a fuller dawn than had been rumored even among the wise.

“Children of Adam! You have seen and sorrowed much, and you have forgotten many things you once knew- though never as much as your enemy meant. Today, I call your memory forth from the grave. Go now. Be my Likeness. Rejoice, dance, sing, love. I made you a world- now I shall through you make endless worlds. The door that my servants held shut on my command, the door which was even hidden from your knowledge until the latter years of the third age, I now open to you. Rise into the first heaven beyond your sky-curtain and come to the silver gate which leads to Deep Heaven. Breathe into that world life. Plant its forests, call forth its seas, and cast its sky-curtain according to what pleases you. Give Luna her swarms, her swimmers, and her flying things. Take the great beasts of this world and cause their offspring to become the great beasts of that world.”

As these things were spoken, the Great Host- though still invisible- rose into song. Those who heard it were never sure whether it had words or simply was word. In our tongue, the song was a little bit like this:

In all the ages that have gone

There was no road to Heaven’s throne

The passage through had been concealed

And silver Gate was firmly sealed.

Come, O Man, ascend and see

The Gate has opened gloriously

Give her birth, Man, crowns bestowed.

And make her light thus sevenfold.

The song did not end, but rose into a great harmony with the voice of Heaven, which then continued:

“In ages past I sent my celestials to you. In these ages, you shall go to them. They have long awaited your coming, and their joy is to receive Adam’s children and to do them obeisance. You have seen, heard, and tasted the scents and songs of High Heaven which have always been whispered on the air of your world. You have drunk from that world’s fountains and have done so rightly. Drink more deeply and make from it a new birth for all worlds- from the Gate of Luna to the farthest corner of Deep Heaven. For as your sorrow was mine, so also will my delight be yours. I have delighted in making a world, and He who delighted with me is with you. As you rejoiced in the world I gave you, so also will I rejoice in the worlds you give me, for in you is the Counselor who gave me counsel from when time began.”

And all bowed and worshiped. Things hidden in past ages were made manifest- they saw the dancers of the white flowers, heard the small folk of the hills, and beheld the Creator’s great host- from the Seven Lord Archangels of Heaven’s Heart to the Forever-Children of the Lord’s Throne. Things seen in past ages were understood, and things forgotten long ago were called to mind at last.

----------------

Some Words of Explanation

To give a little insight on what shapes this short story- my personal view is that prior to the World to Come (that which comes after the bodily resurrection of the dead) there will be a lengthy period where Christianity is perfectly triumphant and the human family united around the one Lord Jesus as King such that what we today call “Christian theology” is simply taken for granted, though understood at a profound and deeper level. While there is a great deal underlying this idea (which isn’t as idiosyncratic as you might think if this is the first time you are hearing it), the fundamental point is this. When God made Adam, He made Him a partner in the task of completing and glorifying the creation. Adam went astray but the Lord Jesus came to bring redemption. For the past two-thousand years that accomplishment has been working its way into the bones and blood of the human family (the corporate “Man” of Genesis 1 who is the Image of God). I expect that it will be worked into us - through a great judgment and redemption, a death and resurrection - relatively soon.

2070 will mark, according to my understanding (see the chronology of scripture as demonstrated in a five-hundred page set of essays by James Jordan), the beginning of the seventh millennium. The conclusion of the sixth millennium, read according to its spiritual significance in the corresponding creation days, will see the true birth of Man- the human family. With that, it will be his mission to spread throughout the cosmos and bring the divine presence into it. The completion of that task will take some time. But read through the lens of biblical typology, that’s no surprise. Joseph is the paradigmatic Messiah, and the dream of his exaltation is linked with the messianic seed of Judah in Genesis 49:8-12. Joseph was sold to the nations for silver by his family, rose to greatness among the nations while taken for dead by his family, and then was reconciled with his flesh. Jesus was sold to the nations for silver by Judas and His Jewish family (just as Judah came up with the idea of selling Joseph - Gen 37:37) and has risen to greatness among the nations of the world. But the river which flowed from Jerusalem to bless the world must circle back to Jerusalem (Isaiah 66) so that Jesus will be reconciled in love with His Jewish family.

Yet the vast majority of Joseph’s reign takes place after his reconciliation with his family. Symbolically in this narrative frame, the bringing “up” of Joseph’s “bones” (the word for bones in Hebrew also means “self” and refers to the core being of a human person) to the land of promise signifies the general resurrection. So in my expectation, the generations of grace and beatitude will make the six-thousand years of sin and warfare pale in comparison. The devil will be humiliated utterly the presence of God spreads from one end of the cosmos to the other as he watches helplessly. Yet this is a preparation for the real beginning- the World to Come. There we will be summoned by God to share in His ongoing work in ways simply ineffable at this moment. It is a horizon beyond which we cannot look in this age.

The above narrative describes not the dawn of the world to come, but the “real birth” of the human family where the Presence of God is manifest to the whole human race as plainly and obviously as you see the words on this screen. While I don’t want to say too much on this, I do believe that this is the “Era of Peace” spoken of in both Orthodox and Catholic prophecy and Marian revelations. According to the Torah God brings the consequences of sin out to three and four generations- but His mercy is shown to thousands. We’re not even close to one-thousand generations today. (Three and four generations is meant literally, and so I think “thousands” is meant in the same way, though I certainly wouldn’t rest my whole case on this point.)

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tonotbelionized · 5 years

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The Subject of Penny’s Death

Now we all loved Penny. Honestly she was one of my favourite characters when I started watching RWBY a year ago, and her death is one of the saddest scenes in the whole series in my opinion. So, I understood when people afterwards wanted her to return in Volume 7 with the girls coming to Atlas, due to Atlas being where she was made and having the technology to do it.

But that’s a plot point that I really hope Roosterteeth doesn’t do, and it’s because:

(1) Her death had thematic importance.

This is the first time in the series so far where the villains won. Before that, the girls in team RWBY had either won their battles or pushed it to the point where the villains had to retreat. Penny’s death was the start of the downfall, for Beacon and our heroes, but it was also the first time that they had lost as well, with Pyrrha’s death and Yang losing her arm coming shortly after.

Not only that, but it mattered so much that it had an impact on the volumes afterwards. Penny doesn’t just die and then is forgotten about, her death not only has an effect on the cast, but the plot as well. It was the catalyst for Cinder to execute her plan:

A) Expose Atlas for creating a soldier and weapon under the guise of a sweet and innocent teenage girl, and sow the seeds of distrust not only at Ironwood, but Ozpin as well given that it was his student who killed Penny in an unneeded way, at least according to the people watching.

B) Use the negativity felt by everyone in Beacon to draw in the Grimm. Cinder needed the Grimm not only to bring down Beacon along with the White Fang, but also to use it to draw away any help that could hinder her path to Amber. With Ironwood, Qrow and Glynda out of the way, she was able to not only ambush Ozpin and the others, killing Amber and getting her power, but was able to overpower the headmaster as well.

She wouldn’t have been able to do that if the rest of Oz’s circle was there as well. Bring her back and you just make that whole plot point and sacrifice worthless.

(2) It would go against Penny’s entire character.

The whole inspiration to Penny’s character was that she was an android that was created to replace humans on the battlefield, in Ironwood’s attempt to protect lives. Because of that, she was self-conscious over the fact that she was not born but instead made, and so was not a “real girl”. It was only after Ruby comforted her that she started to grow past that and feel more comfortable in who she was.

Say that Atlas decided to repair her after the fall of Beacon then. Ignoring the plot hole in how did they recover her remains in an airborne stadium surrounded by Grimm, that would just go against all the development and work Penny went through. Living, real people cannot just be brought back from the dead after they pass on, no matter how much the people who loved them might wish for. The whole episode of The Lost Fable pointed that out with Salem being unable to accept that she couldn’t get Ozma back, no matter how much she wanted to.

The whole message of bringing Penny back would not only just be that she’s not like living human people, and so death has no meaning to her, but also that she can be repaired and/or replaced if something were to happen to her, which is again a gross message to send out. Penny was a real person with thoughts and feelings, and just like a real girl, she can’t be brought back from the dead.

(3) It undermines the grief felt by the cast.

One of the strong points in Penny’s death is that it affected the cast after it happened. Obviously it affected her friends for the rest of Volume 3, with Pyrrha’s death taking over in the final episode, but it’s then affecting people for the next volumes. Jaune mentions her when he and Ruby are in Kuroyuri, Ruby is pushed to tears while talking about her in her letter to Yang, and is once again upset when telling Oscar about her and Pyrrha’s deaths in the house at Haven.

Her death wasn’t pushed aside and Ruby clearly had to grow to keep moving on. It’s a big point that separates her from Salem in fact. Where as Salem didn’t have the ability to healthily cope with Ozma’s untimely death, in which she seeked out to change that and ended up causing the series of events that are felt to this day, Ruby had learned to grieve and keep moving forward despite the devastating effect that Penny’s death had on her.

Not only that, but Penny coming back undermines the grief felt by Pyrrha. She killed someone, she was driven to tears and broke down to the point of being unable to fight back against a Nevermore, but finally picked herself back up after being comforted by Ruby and Jaune. Penny coming back would make this whole point moot, as Pyrrha didn’t really kill her then, and all of Ruby’s grieving would be a rendered unneeded because her best friend is back.

(4) It goes against the writers’ words regarding bringing back characters and muddles the turning point in RWBY’s story.

Miles and Kerry have gone and said that they had planned Penny and Pyrrha’s deaths well before Volume 3, and would not look into bringing characters back from the dead. I don’t have much to say on this point because it just... speaks for itself? No amount of #JusticeforPenny will change that.

The second point stands as well. Before the end of Volume 3, the main characters were simply learning how to fight criminals and monsters in school, with the plot often taking a more slice of life theme that is lighthearted despite the few moments of melancholy. It was a time of peace, but now it’s not with the threat of war looming over everyone. Both from Atlas fighting the other continents in paranoia and Salem’s plan picking up speed.

Penny’s death is the start of that. Yang’s attack on Mercury and frame-up sowed the seeds and started the downfall, but Penny’s death is the one to tip the scales. The effects are felt all the time afterwards. Everyone is scared and distrustful, which is what Salem wants, and her death brings all that distrust to Atlas because of what was exposed when Pyrrha killed her.

Despite their intentions being good, the technology used in the creation of Penny and was therefore exposed to the public was also the technology that was used to take Amber’s aura, effectively killing her, and give it to Pyrrha which would change her life forever.

(5) There’s a difference between what is written in fanfiction and what is written into canon material.

There are plenty of people who write this plot point of Penny coming back from the dead, or even avoiding her death altogether, but there’s a difference between that and what someone would want to see in canon. It’s similar to people who write redemption for villains; Cinder, Adam, Torchwick, ect. They would write and read about it, but they wouldn’t want that in canon because the themes wouldn’t sit well.

It cheapens the subject of death and humanity. Like second point, writing fanfiction of Penny coming back is fine because it’s not canon, it doesn’t throw themes/development/impact away. But that changes when something is made canon.

That’s all I really have to say on the subject, and just remember that this is my opinion, you can want Penny back. It’s fine and doesn’t make you wrong, but I personally really don’t want her to.

Thanks for reading, and here’s to an awesome volume this November!

#rwby #penny polendina #crtq #post: mine #honestly this is just my opnion like I'm not gonna say lol u dumb af to anyone who wants Penny to come back #I'm just saying why I personally wouldn't want her to come back #but yeah I'm still mad excited for volume 7

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thuskindlyshescatters · 5 years

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HI! I was wondering, when you make AMVs, are there some general things that you keep in mind or try to do? For example, synchronizing the changes in the clips or whatnot with the music. I'm kinda asking for advice, so I'd be really grateful to hear anything you have to say.

Ohhh, boy...

OH BOY,,,,,,,

This is probably gonna get really, really long, because I happen to be an aspiring filmmaker, so seeing someone ask ME for advice on AMV craftsmanship just makes my heart soar. So, thank you for that

Here’s a couple of my tips and tricks! Note that these are just my preferences, as many other styles and techniques are available to people who use different software.

You’re correct in the assumption that changing clips to the beat of the music (beat-syncing, as I unofficially call it in my head) plays a HUGE role in making AMVs. To make that smoother, I think that being able to see the waveform of the music you’re editing to is a great tool, because I know exactly where the downbeat I want to sync to is. As well as syncing cuts to beat, I think syncing the action within a shot to the beat, like someone blinking or their footsteps, adds an extra layer of immersion. This can be hard to do sometimes given the length of the shot, but the effect is worth it.

Sometimes beat-syncing isn’t precisely the way to go, however. Often, slow, soft fades are much more effectively when matching tempo adagio or slower, or quiet music. And never underestimate the power of a black screen; when the audience has just been hit with a pensive moment, give them time to think. I point to my “Bohemian Rhapsody” video for advice on both of these -- if it’s a slow song, slo-mo, fading, and sometimes straight-up darkness is the way to go.

Just for general creation advice, my “routine” for making videos follows thusly:

Choose the song you want to use. If you scroll through my channel, a lot of the songs I choose are 4+ minutes, mostly because songs that are longer tend to be about something. It’s hard to show meaning and create a visual story to a song with no relevance to the themes of the show.

Write down all the lyrics to the song and break lines according to when you want to change visuals, or make a note indicating when the shot will change (i.e. “One shot per downbeat”, which is usually hell to make and so fun to watch).

Think to yourself, how do I want to organize these visuals? For example, will each verse go chronologically through the show? Will I follow the character arc of one specific character? Just trailers? Just Volumes 1-3? Just 4-6? If it’s a song with multiple “acts”, like “The Killing Kind” on my channel, the answer may be all of the above. Or none -- maybe just all the fights in the show! Just know that the viewer tends to associate chronology the best with the logical progression of a cluster of shots -- if I show the fight on top of the train, Cinder vs Neo, and the fight of the Grimm Reaper, your brain goes “oh, she’ll probably show the mech fight, or the fight with Adam, or the Silver Eyes sequence next” because your brain has figured out that all of these intense scenes are from Volume Six. This is why I find it annoying to do meaningless, upbeat pop songs -- action is exciting, but often when the entire song is action, you have to jump around a lot, and the audience quickly becomes lost.

Now it’s time to “block,” as I call it. For each line or phrase of the song, find the most appropriate shot in the context that you’ve just established (a character’s arc, a Volume, an episode, even), and write a brief description so that you, when you read those words, know what shot that means. I also tag the volume and episode it’s from. For example, some of the common shots I use are “Arm severing (3:11)”, “Pyrrha disintegrating (3:12)”, and even silly ones like “Cinder gets rekt (5:13)” that still get the point across, because I know what I mean. This step is where having an obsessive, encyclopedic knowledge of the show is pretty useful, especially if you want to avoid reusing shots but have the same lyrics as before to work with.

After that, you FINALLY start editing. I cut out ALL of the shots I’m using first by ctrl+F-ing the document I blocked in and going in release order, starting with the Red Trailer, all the way through 6:13. I find the shot and cut it at the very first frame and the very last. It doesn’t matter if it will only be used for 0.4 seconds (literally) -- having all 10 seconds of material may come in handy. Sometimes in this step I see an unused shot that might be better than what I originally intended, so a lot of swaps can be made. After that’s done, I put the shots in order and add the song.

Then you CUT THAT SHIT DOWN, SON. You might have 45 minutes of content before you start editing. In this stage, don’t add any sorts of transitions or anything -- just beat-sync the shots as well as you can, then go back and rewatch to see if there are things you want to fix. Consistency is key; sometimes, lyrics and the beat are syncopated, and you have to choose whether to sync to the downbeat or the words, and then remember that decision for the next verse. This step is my favorite part of the entire process, but it usually takes the least amount of time.

Once you’re SURE it’s properly synced, now it’s time for transitions and colors and whatnot. Transitions should always follow the tone of that part of the song -- is it fast? Is it full of movement? I’ve found that cymbal crashes and other high-pitched percussive noises are best accompanied by a flash or white-fade transition. I generally prefer more simplistic transitions; the meaning and tone of the song is more important to me than looks and showing off. Same goes for color editing; the eye expects to see an approximate parallel to what it’s used to, which means you better have a damn good reason if it’s suddenly going to be in X-ray mode. Obviously, black and white or washed-out colors are more somber or grimdark, and fully saturated colors are more jubilant. Mess around with it -- you have been a consumer of art your entire life, so at this point, your eye knows what looks nice!

That’s probably nowhere NEAR all of my thoughts, but that’s mostly how I do it! My best advice is to find what you love to do most about it -- for me, it’s beat syncing -- and study in AMVs you like to watch how they do it. Don’t plagiarize, but do imitate if it helps you learn, because I know for a fact that I learn something new from every video I watch and create.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask them! I’m thrilled to receive them. And, if you're planning on making a video, shoot me a link -- I’d love to see your art!

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noyonayana · 5 years

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Forestories #1: What is in a Name?

Long long ago, in a distant land, there was a mythical forest that lived, isolated from everything else in that world, popping up one day as a sudden dream, labyrinthine in its paths and ways and far older than reckoned the stories and legends that had sprung up in fear and awe of it. These legends often as not would speak of the many creatures and beings that had made a home there and I do not use the contrived hyperbolic when I say that there is no end to the number of stories written by adventurous and desperate storytellers who have gone forth bravely questing in discovery of that land, and who have written what we know so far about the Forest and its many attractions and ominous tourist traps, often one and the same, its plant life and creatures, beings and spirits, its haunted and otherwise mystical places and their powers and dangers, their allegorical troubles and treasures and so on and on in volumes of hard drives. Even I am not god enough to catalog all these stories.

In my own modestly adventurous travels though, I saw a cottage on the outskirts, the home of a couple awaiting their firstborn and it seemed to me that the truth and allegory derived from their life, would make excellent subject material and a unique and substantial grounding perspective with which to navigate my first foray into the annals of Forestories. And so I offer to you, my readers, the stories of this obviously ‘Adam and Eve’-esque couple, told to preserve and share the meaning of their lives for anyone who might care to know. And who might then walk away with something, anything of value or at the very least, a comforting hug and an escape from the troubles and times of personal despair. This endeavour is indeed an amateur undertaking, where the young make up for the tried and tested experience of the wizened by venturing boldly where none have gone before, thus making the very mistakes that teach experience in later days.

So in order to start our journey, we must first find our way there, travel hundreds of imaginary miles, cross vast oceans and mountains, indeed many thereof and pass through the portal of language, leaving behind our own world and hovering lightly over theirs. Our first story is that of the forest. We must once again set about opening for this familiar song and drama, begin with a little stylized creation myth beginning and narrate the humble home brewed backstory for the Khanolin Greenemere, the original magical forest .

Everywhere, the world is what we make of it, it is as vast as stretches our horizon, it stops where our perception, for whatever reason, can see no further. Things beyond that might as well not exist and most haven’t, to us at least. But to you dear reader, who are where I left you last, hovering over the vast green swathes of this Forest-world, only you can see the boundaries of this land, only you can say that it is not such a big or otherwise formidable looking forest at all. You might even feel the first pangs of disappointment at such a barely encouraging first glimpse. Such distance can generate only such perception. On the thick and well obscured ground, when clomping through the overflowing marshy undergrowths and across the sprawling treetops, Greenemere Khanol is an old old place sustaining the kind of living and life that has always been treated with the instinctive reverence that builds up amidst mobs and in distant towns, awe of something that we cannot understand and which beckons to us time and again. It is best to speak of this place in enigmas and parables; if one will forgive the initial cliches, their well-trodden but universal meaning will become more evident as one continues reading.

The Khanol is unspeakably dense, the famous Who, the scholar famously described it as, “bigger on the inside”, and we have not yet had a single explorer map it from within in its entirety and come out. The kind of place where all sorts of trees and animals make their living, which, for those that may be interested, include specimens of those that we have scientifically accounted for in our botany and veterinary books, and those from our fictional and mythical records and by the estimation of our oldest almost deified philosophers, roughly about 47% of everything living that lies beyond our collective human imagination. Which it must be said is relatively childish and in comparison to the other minds we have touched and felt, spread all over the cosmos, but I’m still quoting his venerated Who-minence. Most of these fantastical beings never leave the inner depths and I might employ the use of statistics one last time to say that the most popular estimation of the percentage of verifiable information we have over the Forest and its inhabitants is about 12%. That does make for very interesting speculation but I have yet to see that conversation rise above that level of truth and I certainly do not endorse that number nor yet that scientific approach to the mysteries of this Forest. I will soon expound more clearly on my reservations but as for any current certainty about the Forest, all that should remain prefigured in mind is that none can be found anywhere else in the world that live and die and have the Khanol Greenemere for their ancestral home.

And what an expansive and bewildering riddle of a home it is with so little known about its origins and current inhabitants and properties. Thus goes my first story about the Forest.

What is in a name? What is a name capable of suggesting? To children, a name is given to commence the process of Identification and to herald the creation of their self-hood. Gods and places, inanimate objects and symbolic beings also have names but fundamentally their naming is an act of claiming, done by those not themselves, to give them identities and stories that act as their characterizing and symbolic signposts in Language. So that becomes a referrant in speaking of them and signifies doing so but in the handling of the more sensitive poets, a name of a thing can be praise and an honouring of virtue, ability and story that is celebrated and in any other way, it becomes a word that seems to characterize their particular property of being, something that takes on a shadow of the thing it denotes. It is the first step to remembering them in time and also very importantly, the first step in a ritual process of the educated, partaking in trade and business with meaning and symbolism in reference to these things. For this reason, I have not and do not intend in these my records, to refer to the Forest by any other name than the one I have given to it. The word Forest itself is its species designator, a useful characterisation which immediately makes evident, the barest quality of the thing we are discussing. After that, my own name tells us everything we need to draw out a loose fitting and distanced outline of this story’s most significant character.

I chose to speak of the Forest as the “Greenemere Khanol”, and these papers are both the first time it has publicly been called in this way and an introduction to my own studies and perception of its being; and I’m not unaware of the admittedly vain attempt to write myself deeper into this story. Eitherway, Greenemere is a Celtic word- a sound from the old stories which refers to fertility and a more or less green-coloured verdant life that was often used to describe many forests of the myths, older and thus lost lands which luckily for their death, escaped the ravages of time and the greed of man’s machines alike. It is a hopeful yet fey word, a call for older, more savage and natural times that is in truth, a lament for all that is seen to be missing now and I thought it perfect to describe the dangerous and bewitching beauty of this land. “Khanol”, derived from the Persian word- Kanolhissa is a curiously feminine word, the formal poetic way to refer to an Oasis that is seen to come to us just as the desert seems almost to have defeated us. An unexpected boon when all seems to be lost. It has been used by many poets to refer to love, women and friendship, a sudden reversal of fortune, a reprieve of new life and beginnings just when it seemed that our death was looming over the horizon with his mossy sickle in hand.

And thus we have our setting. A not entirely new but still, beautiful idea of unfettered life somehow magically bursting forth in full bloom in the midst of a vacuum of nothingness, a void around it stretching for leagues in each direction. The Khanol in its unity is the only living entity, or at least one of any consequence in its world. But how can that be? One cannot make anything from nothing, there is always something to come from and something to become and time is the engine or rather the fuel spent in living that separates the two. When there is a logical progression between the two, we call our understanding of the same Science. and when there simply isn’t, it is Magic or as I prefer to call it, the Imagination. But howsoever, there is always something behind the curtain. So who is the master of the Khanol, that created it from nothing? Is it there for some divine or otherwise cosmic purpose? And what could that conceivably be and conversely, have we actually figured it out in in some or any of our retellings of its creation and current life? My own submission to that list of questions is- are we too human to be able to understand it? Is purpose and meaning and our measuring scales of time, causation and justice, simply too minute and human a conception of this dense deep unsounding vastness?

Thus thunderously, I end my first story. In the next part of this series, we will meet our human protagonists and see for yourselves, through their eyes their little cottage on the outskirts of the Forest. And don’t worry, I understand perfectly the consequences of my ideas on our beloved Forest, I don’t intend to let myself do any lighter than marvel you completely with this, my narrative accounts, of my serious theoretic study and rigorous physical exploration, (and all that at my age!) of the Greenemere Khanol, one of the last mysteries left to our current lot.

#dontbenice #whaddayathink #fantasy

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