#20 something with t1d

[bigboymoozz]

Ik it's a bit of a hopeless hope, but today as I was giving my brother his insulin shot for his breakfast i was asking him if it felt nice being able to sleep on his right sode since we just changed his g7 site the previous day. he was like "I hate this and wish this wasn't a thing. I kept forgetting what side i could sleep on" and I was able to use the eversense CGM as a hopeful example. The eversense CGM is (?) A small cgm inserted into your body (like a nexplanon) and can stay for around 6 months without changing it out, and the sensor is a sticker instead of a wire sticking out of you. And the website, when I looked at it last, said they're looking into developing a year-long one as well. The cgm from my research was invented sometime in '99, and since then has been slowly getting better. I was like "you know, we can only hope that the implants work really well and can lead to more innovation. Maybe one day they'll have a pod for both insulin and glucose and you can use it to treat highs, bolus, and lows? Literally the possibilities are endless" he's 13, surely by the time he's my age (20s) there's something interesting being talked about. In the subreddit I'm in for t1d, there's diabetics in their 60s saying how this is (pumps and cgms) is an insane development for them and that they wouldn't have even dreamed something like this would ever exist to help them. I just. Idk. I want to keep him hopeful a bit. He's already bummed that pancreas transplants aren't a regular thing t1ds can opt for, and if they were I'd be first in line to give him all of mine if I had to

[type1diabetesinfandom]

I'm thinking about writing something with a character who has type 1 diabetes. Where might I find information about what it's like to have it?

That's awesome!

Start with my #how to write t1d tag!

It's got a mix of do's and dont's, infographics and legit how-to-write-this posts, and also will give you some blogs you can browse for daily lives as t1diabetics.

You are ofc welcome to browse this blog as much as you find useful!

Some fic recs for a good look at diabetic perspectives, written by diabetics or people familiar with the disease, are:

My fics When the Warmth Hits You and Lost were written specifically for diabetes awareness and are long enough to cover multiple aspects of it. You should be able to read them both fandom blind, especially if your focus is on the medical stuff.

@rpgwrites's Pathfinder, Truthseeker series and her Diabetes Awareness Day series.

Outnumbered by @heartofcathedrals.

A Painting of One Thousand Voices by WolfieChan12.

Wescott Preparatory Academy by adder574 is a good view at t1d care and life ~20 years ago. Note that the medical information is dated, but useful for stories taking place 20-ish years ago.

(God I can't believe it's been that long 👵)

A New Low by Rosie_Rues.

Anything tagged with Diabetes by Carbon65.

Ditto with witchry9.

Some OG fiction books I recommend borrowing from the library or however you get books:

Let Me List the Ways by Sarah White.

Sal and Gabi Break/Fix the Universe by Carlos Hernandez.

Sweetblood by Pete Hautman.

Sweet Desire by J.M. Cagle. (You can get part 1 for free).

There are lots of bloggers, youtubers, and podcasters who share t1d focused content. I don't really pay attention to these so I'm not going to recommend specific ones, but definitely poke around. You'll find cool stuff.

The JDRF and Beyond Type 1 websites have easily-digestable medical info, but note that anyone can post on BT1 so it's not as accurate as I would like it to be.

Dr. Bernstein is also awesome for medical stuff, but hardcore, and his methods are extreme, although effective.

Now There's a rabbit hole if you want to explore differing medical opinions 🤣

You are always welcome to send me asks or dm me directly if you have specific questions! And if you decide to get seriously into the research, I have a discord server with a specific channel for asking questions about how to represent t1d, that's open to all diabetic peeps in the server.

Hope this helps, and I'm excited to see your character someday! Good luck writing!

[sandsstorms]

omg !! for that ask game: 3, 7, 16, and 27 🤍👀

hi mera! 🧡 ok. here we go...

3. What was the last song you listened to? 

officially my music app has Everything I Wanted by Billie as the last song I heard... buuut my little sis has had on repeat, and I wouldn't even be lying if I said around 30 times in the past hours Arcade by Duncan Laurence. man. teenagers obsessions are something else 🤣 she was decided to memorize it

so yeah. that one

7. What’s your ideal number of blankets to sleep with? 

yess. the good questions 😂

well I like to have like weight on me when I sleep (why? no idea) the thing is I live in an almost all year long hot season country so it's hard to do that most of the time. but the ideal, whenever is cold enough, being that right now 🙌 is a sheet and two heavy blankets 😂 so I'm happy today 🤣

16. Want any tattoos? What of? 

oof. I really couldn't tell. have some? none. want any? idk, I'm terrible at decisions, and kind of big decisions even worse. so right now is a no 😂

27. What’s your favorite book? Or just one you’ve read a few times? 

oh I really like Pride & Prejudice, but one I've read like 4...5 times (and this is a lot because I'm a terrible reader. tho I really enjoy it) was The Fault In Our Stars by John Green. it was when I was 18...or maybe 20. and I fell in love with the idea of teens just enjoying life as it comes and being and doing something beyond their diseases. I got diagnosed with T1D when I was 13 so I kind of knew the feeling even when the circumstances are completely different. the feeling when you live with a disease that in some way limits or changes your lifestyle and even more at that age is the same. so yeah. that was me 🙃

might read it again. it's been a while. I miss it now 🤣

[sorrygotthesesacks]

After a(n all too brief) five day weekend, I returned to the office this morning to a pleasant surprise - a gift from a coworker who bought the entire team chocolates from a local chocolatier!

Because I have T1D, people assume I can’t/shouldn’t have candy or chocolate unless it is “sugar free” (which is a whole other issue since that means “no sugar added” and not “carbohydrate free” but I digress, albeit only slightly).

So I check the ingredients. First one listed: malitol. Second ingredient: malitol syrup.

Which, naturally, reminded me of the Haribo sugar-free gummy bear debacle some years ago, and I am sharing one of my favorite (very descriptive but poetically so!) Amazon reviews of these gummy bears.

Below the cut, because malitol can (read: does) have an “unpleasant” (read: laxative) side effect.

(This factoid was used in The Great Toilet Paper Caper, a fic in my Vento Aureo 20 Somethings AU series.)

The fact that “Luke” managed to describe these gummy bears as if they were a spell cast by a malificent wizard is hilarious.

[t1dlikeme]

Marlee’s Story- I’m currently a student-athlete that plays soccer at the University of Texas-San Antonio. My story started when I was 2 ½ years old, I was rushed to the hospital where I was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes, at such a young age I didn't remember anything about that day or how much my parents had to learn, and then eventually teach me. I have had T1D for about 20 years. Sports have always been an important part of my family. In college, both of my parents played soccer, and my two brothers also played, so I knew from an early age that I wanted to play in college and play professionally one day. Being T1D was the biggest obstacle I had to overcome. I was so good at hiding my diabetes from everyone, and that reflected in the way I was taking care of myself as well. Being different was not something I wanted, and I was afraid to tell others about it because of how they would react. Growing up, my coaches didn't understand why I wasn't performing well and why I needed to step out of games or practice. Since it's hard to explain, I didn't. For a long time, I let diabetes affect how I lived my life, resulting in poor health and difficulty playing the sport I love. During a doctor's visit she told me that if I didn't make a change, I was headed down a bad road. Looking at my dreams and what I wanted to achieve I learned to accept being diabetic and be proud of who I am. This happened with a huge support system I had finishing high school and now going through my last year of college from my family, close friends, teammates, coaches, and athletic trainers I couldn't thank them enough. Having diabetes has helped me learn to be resilient, strong-willed, and confident and embrace the life I have. I made it through all the battles fighting myself and blaming the world. I become a division 1 soccer player with goals to achieve after college. Become part of a T1D community and I love who I am. To everyone who has T1D, you will have those bad days but you will also have so many more great days to look forward to so keep chasing those dreams. -Marlee’s Story

[academyguide]

Last week I competed my DAFNE course and it was amazing! DAFNE stands for Dose Adjustment For Normal Eating, and it really does let you eat like a normal (non-diabetic) person. Having known Mel for a while I knew a bit about carb counting, but didn’t realise how much I was missing out on by not going on this course. The course was run by a specialist diabetes dietician and a DSN (diabetes specialist nurse). There were six people with type one in the room, which was interesting to learn how people dealt with all aspects of living with type one diabetes (T1D).  We were presented with a workbook, a blood glucose diary and a carbohydrate portion (CP) list. We were first taken back to basics with T1D just to make sure everyone was on the same page. The atmosphere was extremely relaxed and left room for questions for everyone to ask if need be. Throughout the week we talked about diets and insulin a great deal, and I was shocked to learn how my insulin actually works.  Background insulin (also called basal) runs throughout the day to maintain the BG level in the body. Many people in the UK use Lantus or Levemir for this. As someone who used to take Lantus daily, I found that by around 20:00-21:00 my BG would start to peak, even though I hadn’t eaten any cake!! So upon this discovery I was recommended by the specialist diabetes nurse to split my background insulin. This has allowed me to alter my day and night time insulins as fit! Meaning reduced hypos in the night... massive win!! The diagram above shows that the fast acting insulins, such as Novorapid or Humalog, are injected at meal times to cater for the intake of carbohydrates at that time. This is where the counting of carbs takes place. From the diagram below it’s easy to see how (University of Columbia).  Every 10g of carbs is called a carbohydrate portion (CP). For example in one slice of bread there are on average 15g of carbs. Or, in DAFNE lingo, 1.5 CPs. Everyone starts on a 1:1 ratio, so 1U of insulin for 1CP. So for that slice of bread I would inject 1.5U. Then when testing just before the next mealtime, providing your basal and ratios are correct, the theory is that you should be the same level! Hurrah! One CP should bring up your BG (blood glucose) by 2-3mmol/l and one unit of insulin should decrease your BG by 2-3mmol/l. However this is different for everyone so please talk to your DSN and dietician before trying this! Having had this explained I cannot understand why I was not told this right from the off when being diagnosed! And also, why I was initially on an insulin which lasted around 8 hours (fine for the night time) but therefore leaving me with no background for the day! But that’s in the past, so never mind.  All these tools and more allow me to look at my blood glucose levels to see where the problem lies, and how to fix it. If I was low throughout the day I learnt how to decrease my morning basal, and when too high then to increase it. It’s truly amazing what I’ve learnt on the DAFNE course. I walked out of there on Friday with the confidence that I can now control my diabetes, and even better I know why sometimes things just don’t seem to go right! I would recommend everyone who has T1D attends this course! The freedom that this has left me with is amazing. The coursework book has everything you need with it and there’s online forums to have a cheeky browse through as well. Everyone on the course is there for one main reason, to control their diabetes monster. Everyone is in the same boat which makes you feel part of something amazing. Think about asking your diabetes specialist to refer you for DAFNE, it truly is life changing.  Source link

[albatris]

every DAY I calculate insulin. when will it END

[mia-fruitbat-blog]

Recently in the world of diabetes.

[princesssmismi]

being the girl nobody wants

Growing up, I never really had crushes on boys from my real life. Always had crushes on people I saw on tv or in movies. I always thought boys from my school were immature and uninteresting. Never even considered that anyone could have a crush on me. And somehow, as a 20 year old, I still don’t believe that anyone would be interested in me. However, growing up, I always thought that I would just come with time. But, no. I sat on the sidelines watching my girlfriends get boyfriends. Always having someone they were chatting with online. Always having someone be interested in them. I have never been the type of girl who needed a boy's validation, who needed to have someone to talk to all the time. I was fine on my own. Though I was being independent and shit. Never “needing” anyone. Thought that all I needed was myself. As long as I was confident, I was fine. However, I always felt weird, like an outcast. Even as I got older, boys would only talk to me to get closer to my friends. I blamed myself for having high standards and knowing what I wanted. I still do. How can I have high standards and still feel sad that nobody wants me?

Truth be told, in the last few years, I never imagined making it to 20. Couldn’t see myself finishing school and getting a job. Finding love. It was always a dream, yes, but as I battled depression following my t1d diagnosis, it felt further and further from reality. I used to have a good idea of what my future would look like. Had a few job ideas and plans to travel. But now, I'm completely blank. No wish to get a degree or a certain profession. No idea what I want to do with my life. I feel like I'm just floating through life with no motivation whatsoever.

I have always been a dreamer. Watching disney movies about love and the whole living happily ever after shit. Always planned my wedding in my head. But now, I fear that I will never be enough for someone. Never getting married, never having kids. That is one of my biggest fears. I want it so bad.

It’s a terrible feeling. The feeling of being unwanted. The feeling of not being good enough for anyone. I often blame myself. Wishing I could just be more outgoing, more fun, more myself around new people. But I shut everybody out in fear of being hurt. Was deemed “mysterious” and the person no one really knew. Sure, they would know the basics, but nothing more than that. I have always been afraid of being too much. Too loud or annoying. Afraid of taking up too much space and sharing too much. Afraid of someone knowing me and being put off. Rejection scares the shit out of me. Scared of the feeling of being unwanted. It’s a feeling I’m afraid I will always feel. Scared I can’t just get my shit together and feel sorry for myself. It’s so easy yet so fucking hard.

I’ve never thought of myself as the main character. I want to be, and maybe it's just a silly mindset, but it’s difficult to imagine a feeling that you’ve never felt.

I don’t know if I believe in true love. I’ve never felt it. Am I broken? I often wonder if I will ever be wanted by someone. Some might think, “you’re only 20, you have so much time”, but i'm starting to think my time will never come. I keep trying to convince myself that the timing just isn’t right, that I have to love myself to be loved by someone else. But will I ever love myself? I don’t see a future for myself, at least not a good one. How long can I take feeling like this? I’m not sure. I just want to feel loved. Having someone remember my favourite icecream flavour and send me a message to wish me happy birthday. I just want the little things. But somehow, it makes me feel so fucking guilty to want something that seem so small and normal. Like I don’t really deserve it. Like, compared to everyone else's life, mine has been good. Or somewhat good. I’m not sure anymore to be honest with you.

I know relationships are a two-way street, but feel like a burden everytime I reach out to people. It’s my own fault, I know. Wanting love, but still not doing the most to get it. I’m just tired of this lonely feeling, and I know I have no one else to blame but myself.

[arretoskore]

Hi! For the ask game - 10, 11, 20, 29 & 31? Sorry there are so many, I'm just very curious :D You can answer only some of them, if you want to!

Aaaah don't worry it's a nice distraction from all the studying I'm procrastinating lol

10 - I’m one of those people that tends to recharge with alone-time BUT with a very big exception for my closest friends. Also I tend to get trapped into my own head if the situation is particularly stressful, so no I wouldn’t want to go alone, even more so if I could choose who to go with (and let’s be real, I hate to do things alone usually bc my social anxiety goes through the fucking roof)

11- this is soooo difficult....I don’t think I have anything in particular? Like at this point I hope people are done being scandalized by kinks so not that. Maybe my easygoingness (is that even a word??) about dying? Like it’s probably tied to T1D but I had to accept at 11 yrs old that one slip up with insulin could easily cost me my life so I reached the conclusion very early that death was not something I had to be scared of. Otherwise, it being a very real possibility, I wouldn’t be able to live my life. I think a lot of people with t1d, when they accept the illness, make this reasoning (more or less consciously) but I never heard anyone talk about it. (also as dear Epicuro said, why be scared of death if you won’t experience it while alive and conscious?)

20 - hopeful! I’m a sucker for science and space!!! like I would go nuts just if we found like very weird bacteria on other planets, let alone intelligent beings! Also being a philosophy student I can’t wait to see how we’ll have to re-think what “life” means when we inevitably find something that doesn’t fit in our parameters. the only sad thing is that it probably won't happen in our lifetime... :(

29 - hmmm I probably know more than this one but “Il Gorilla” by De André (the greatest Italian songwriter ever). Like I get the metaphor ( it’s a social commentary about how the justice system -and those who enforce it- doesn’t think twice about condemning someone to death. Also it's not his song, the original is from the 50's).  I really do but... it’s about a gorilla raping a man. It's upsetting to say the least.

I sure there are other but right know this is the first that comes to mind

31 - eh I try to breathe. I’m not frequently scared... usually just very stressed/anxious. Generally, when I’m distressed I try to use some techniques my therapist thought me years ago. otherwise I just... cry. Lol I almost never cry but sometimes it works really well. Just like a few tears when I’m really frightened usually get me back in check ahahaha

[flutterbyfairy]

psa: if you're not diabetic, please please please don't make diabetes jokes (e.g. joking that eating/seeing something sugary/sweet will give you diabetes, otherwise equating diabetes with gluttony, reducing it to diet, sugar, or weight, ect., purposely mispronouncing diabetes as "diabeetus", and anything else that makes diabetic people the butt of your joke). i know to a lot of people this stuff seems harmless, but as someone who's lived with type one diabetes since i was twelve, i can tell you that it's actually incredibly ableist and not at all okay. it hurts and it's isolating. these misconceptions about diabetes (and they are misconceptions, type one is an autoimmune disease meaning it has absolutely nothing to do with a persons weight ot diet, and type two has a huge genetic component and is far far more complicated than all that fatphobic retoric) contribute to the high rates of depression (people with diabetes being twice as likely to develop depression), anxiety (people with diabetes being 20% more likely to be diagnosed with anxiety), eating disorders (people with t1d being twice as likely to experience an ed, with 30% of women and girls with t1d skipping or restricting insulin to lose weight [something that is very dangerous and fatal]), and other mental illnesses in people who are diabetic. i know most people who make these jokes probably don't have any malicious intent and wouldn't intend these consequences, and i don't mean to make anyone who genuinely didn't know better feel bad. but please, if you're seeing this and you're not diabetic, don't make these sorts of jokes and if you hear anyone else making them try to let them know that it's not okay.

- signed, a type one diabetic who's tired of seeing these jokes be told and accepted everywhere

[real-redfang-foxx]

About Me (I have been on here over a year... it’s about time I did one of these)

Hey y’all how’s it going? It’s nice to meet you all! My name is themetalheadfox, and I’ve been on Tumblr for over a year now and I thought it was about time I did one of these! So if you already didn’t know me, here’s some things you might find interesting:

- My irl name is Luke

- I am 20+ years old!

- I’m a dude (obviously, so I really don’t need to put these here but I go by he/him/his)

- I’ve been a member of the furry fandom since April 2016, so over three and a half years!

- I put the “Het” in James Hetfield (I’m straight, which is apparently a rarity in the furry fandom according to furry twitter?)

- I’ve been a heavy metal fan since I was 12, and I’ve been a rock and roll child my whole life basically!

- Music has been part of my life for 20 years (aka my whole life has been about music in some way, shape, or form)

- I am a multi-instrumentalist! I play guitar, bass guitar, piano and keyboard, drums, and even a little mandolin here and there! I also am a vocalist to a much lesser extent, but I’ll share my voice with y’all one of these days

- I am a member of the house of Gryffindor (I got sorted by the actual sorting hat while I was on a tour of Warner Brothers studios in LA!)

- I am a T1D who is somewhere on the autism spectrum (not exactly sure where but I’m on it) and I have ADHD and depression (but I manage my mental health very well and am very happy with my life)

- I was inspired by my best friend to start this blog, and you can follow her here at @adrestias!

- This isn’t my only blog, but it is my main one. Here’s a list of my other blogs

- @redfangst1drants (my T1D blog where I rant about whatever grinds my gears on diabetes)

- @theventingfox (my personal rant/vent blog. This one is probably gonna be the least active blog on all of Tumblr as I rarely have anything to rant about.)

@metalfoxsecond (my backup blog page in case something goes wrong with this one. Like my venting blog, don’t expect many updates from this one)

Well, I hope you’re enjoying your stay on my page, and feel free to stick around! I’ve got much more fun stuff coming your way! Welcome! And if you’re already a follower, thanks for sticking around and putting up with my shenanigans!

[type1diabetesinfandom]

2?

Fandom end of year asks:

2: favourite fic of the year 

Ok so you're getting a list because I can't pick just one, and I love reccing fics! I should do it more.

Favorite Podfic: @prettybirdy979 's None So Blind read by @read-by-badfinch . This one is easier to pick because I listened to only a few podfics, but I absolutely love this fic and the reading was so good!

Fandom: Daredevil and the Avengers

Warnings: none

Rating: Teen

Relationships: Gen

Tags: Ableist Language, Ableism, Secret Identity, Identity Issues, Canon Disabled Character, Blind Character, Disability, Learning Disabilities, Crossover, Identity Reveal, Deaf Clint Barton, Matt Murdock Needs a Hug, Hurt Matt Murdock, Angst, Hurt/ComfortPodfic, Podfic Length: 3-3.5 Hours, Audio Format: MP3, Audio Format: M4B

Summary:

They say when you assume you make an ass of you and me.

Matt wishes that the Avenger's assumptions about his seeming inability to read the written word did something as benign as making an ass of him and them. Being called illiterate shouldn't hurt, not when he knows he's not, and it's not like he can tell them the truth.

Not that the truth would make much difference. He's just going to have to grin and bear it.

If he can.

First off, it's got great characterization and hurt/comfort, but it goes above and beyond discussing assumptions, judgements, and ableism and it's SO good.

Fics

@rageprufrock 's Hindsight is a delicious all roads lead to canon au.

John Sheppard has t1D, doesn't join the air force, DOES join the fbi, and meets Dr. Rodney McKay when someone puts a bomb in the man's car. 23k

Fandom: Stargate Atlantis

Warnings: none chosen

Rating: explicit

Relationships: John Sheppard/Rodney McKay

Summary:

Hindsight is, at best, only 20/20.

The Sonder series by Zelos is a delightful look at the mess Peter's knowing teachers help him clean up post Homecoming. His principal is very very tired of dumb teenage superheroes, especially when they see his insulin and accuse him of doing drugs. 31k

Fandom: Spiderman Tom Holland movies

Warnings: none

Rating: Teen

Relationships: Gen

Summary:

sonder n. the realization that each random passerby is living a life as vivid and complex as your own—populated with their own ambitions, friends, routines, worries and inherited craziness—an epic story that continues invisibly around you like an anthill sprawling deep underground, with elaborate passageways to thousands of other lives that you’ll never know existed, in which you might appear only once, as an extra sipping coffee in the background, as a blur of traffic passing on the highway, as a lighted window at dusk. —The Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows

A series about the aftermath of Homecoming, what it means to support a hero, and the prices you pay for doing just that. Spoilers for Spider-Man: Homecoming. Not Far From Home compliant.

Asking Questions by anonymous is short but packs such a punch. What would life be like if you could shapeshift into the form of your greatest potential, a form that would allow you to escape your physical pain/disabilities, and be unable to live the entirety of your life like that?

Fandom: Shazam movie

Warnings: none

Rating: Teen

Relationships: Gen

Tags: Friendship, Bonding, Superpowers, Chronic Pain, Disability, Canon Disabled Character, Backstory, Past Drug Addiction, Fluff and Angst, freddy has to deal with chronic pain, billy just wants to be a good best friend

Summary:

“God,” Freddy said, hopping from foot to foot a couple times before leaping a few feet into the air. “You know you’re fucked up when not being in pain is your favourite superpower.”

There's so many great fics I read this year, but I'll stick with these for my favorites because otherwise it's going to devolve into a plethora of PJO angst and there's a good probability I'll just make a separate list for that fandom on my main 🙈

Thank you for asking!

[amber-triplett]

I was diagnosed at nine years old. I weighed 45 lb. I was far from lazy. I love sports and playing outside. And up until I was about 12 I ran track. I was far from a lazy child, I was far from inactive. Hypoglycemia hurts. I imagine it is much like being hit by a car, rolling into a ditch and being left there to fend for myself. To drag myself across the ground to get to the help that I need despite the chronic pain, chronic sweating and labored breathing. I have lost my memory, I have lost sensation and feeling in my face, hands and feet. Personally, I have no quality of life because of the chronic pain, because of the chronic fluctuation in my blood sugar's for the past 26 years. Not to mention, My emotions affect my blood sugar's. I can have amazing blood sugar before I go out and by the time I get back home my blood sugar is so high that the meter can't even read it despite not eating and only drinking water throughout the day. This (both high and low blood sugars) cannot be fixed in 20 minutes. This cannot be fixed in a day. It is complete exhaustion. To the point where I can feel gravity pulling my limbs to the ground. It is chronic headaches, chronic pain in my hands and feet. It is sore thighs from injections. I've never been a big girl. And I'm a pretty healthy eater. I love my fruits. I love my vegetables. But I also love having a big bowl of ice cream when I feel like it. My type 1 diabetes cannot be cured. my type one diabetes will more than likely be with me for the rest of my life which means dealing with everything I just mentioned for... The rest... Of my life. Tell me something, how much do you like getting injections? Now imagine having to do that for the rest of your life. . . . #think #t1d #typeonediabetes #typeonediabetic #mylife #health https://www.instagram.com/p/BwH9EwrHvC_/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=6gtly193v69f

[mia-fruitbat-blog]

Day 14 Happy Diabetic

Today I'm happy I spent time with my cousin paddle boarding. She asked me if I felt like T1D changed my outlook on life. I told her it definitely did. It made me more appreciative of all that I have. It made me always remember to take time for myself and make the most out of my life and each day I have here on earth because the future is uncertain. It taught me to face fears and be brave but that it's also ok to cry yourself to sleep sometimes and feel sorry for yourself. It taught me to keep going when it seems impossible. It taught me to be kind and not to judge others based on their perceived healthfulness. It taught me to appreciate the pleasures in life and that your happiness is the most important thing because if your not happy most days what do you have and are you truly living? It taught me to search for happiness even in the smallest simplest things in life. It taught me to respect my body and my mind and to take days to just rest and relax. It taught me to truly appreciate the days when it feels like everything is beautiful and you have boundless energy. It also taught me that days spent laying in bed feeling sleepy are just as healthy as days you spend outside your home doing endless activities. It taught me to see the tiny holes in my skin left from needles not as insecurities but as battle scars. Being diagnosed with T1D ushered in a transformative period into my life that pushed me further into maturity. It taught me to trust in the kindness and helpfulness of strangers and best friends. It taught me that even when u feel defeated that tomorrow will be better and if it's not you just have to keep going until tomorrow is better. It taught me that not everyone will understand you or support you in the way you hope they might but that if they truly care about you they will support you in the ways that they know how. It introduced me to new friends and strengthened friendships with old ones. It taught me that everyday is not going to be great but that in the end it's the great days you remember not the ones that sucked. It taught me to slow down to take breaks and breaths. I learned that illness of any kind is not the fault of anyone who has them and that sick people deserve to have their battles respected. It taught me to laugh at the craziness life throws at you and to choose joy when you can. It taught me to stand up for what I believe in. It brought me a community on the internet that I can advocate for and it brought unexpected strangers into my life who have become helpful mentors and friends. It made me really appreciate the 19 years I lived without T1D and want to fight even harder to cure this disease so children with T1D can experience the freedom of life without carb counting, insulin, blood sugar checks, and everything else T1D related. It taught me that diseases are complicated and that modern medicine, doctors, and hospitals are not perfect but that they do save lives. It gave me more respect for the medical field and for nurses. It taught me that doctors are people with lives too and that they are not scary monsters they can be great friends who care deeply about you.

[kecilpaws]

For the past two years, I have struggled immensely with my diabetes. I have been a T1D since I was 3 years old. Next month in May, I am turning 20. That means in 17 years I have basically pricked my finger  38220 times. In the past 2 years with new responsibilities and moving out of my parents place and trying to find my own feet in the world, I have maybe tested my blood about 20 times.

To be honest with you from a young age I have been very apathetic towards my Diabetes. Having no care of concern for my well being. And I REALLY want to change that.

I am trying but I am struggling. I have a habit of forgetting to test, and then over giving insulin with my pump. My doctor already warned me about the possible shitty outcomes, and I havent done anything. I dont want something to happen, as much as I dont care, and am lazy to do anything, I want to change. I really do.

As much as I can preach about not caring, I wont lie. I AM  SCARED. It honestly makes me cry at night because of how little I care. And I want to care. I want to take care of myself and live a long happy life.

I want to change my life around.

And I know it doesnt sound like a huge deal, but joining diabetic groups and talking to other diabetics actually has made it easier. 

Im on a long road to getting better but baby steps are better than none.