#3 years and one of my favourite songs I found because of them starts off the anniversary

[rebloggedsunsox]

Just watching started the R800 vod on twitch, and the fact that the first countdown song is cabinet man is wonderful actually

[adagioapassionato]

Thinking about…0.1 flaws and all by wave to earth

Having grown to love wave to earth in the last year, I was so, so excited for their first ever studio album! It did not disappoint at all and I have been playing it on repeat since it came out. If I were to sum up this album in a few words, they would be “love in a day.” The two sides of the album come together beautifully to represent the many ways of experiencing love and heartbreak, while associating them with the progression of a single day. wave to earth’s music is unique because it always evokes not just a specific feeling, but a specific picture or scene in my mind.

1. bad

The first track on A-side, ‘bad’, begins with an almost playful melody on the guitar, and is perfect for signaling the start of this day of love. The narrator sings of deciding to let themselves out of the house on this day, which seemingly turns into the best decision they could have made – they meet the person they love, and realize that their day could only go well if they spend it with them. The music used beautifully conveys this very message. The first verse, where they describe “Lately, life’s so boring/I’ve been watching Netflix all day alone…”, is accompanied by somewhat melancholy tones on the guitar, alongside a softer drum accompaniment and bass. However, the tone of the music brightens with “When I went to the park/I recognized you at a glance”, and as they end the pre-chorus with “We already know that we’ll be together”, the drums and bass play the same rhythm together, much louder, conveying the happiness of finally meeting someone you love. Similarly, the tone of the music is brighter through the second verse, which describes being with this person. wave to earth’s English lyrics rarely rhyme – but in the second pre-chorus, vocalist Daniel rhymes “I recognized you at a glance/Face to face, we smiled/And I finally held your hands” – as though his day and life fall into the right rhythm when he’s with this person. Also, while his voice is bare and unaccompanied through the first part of the chorus, he adds harmonies on the final line ‘And I finally held your hands,’ giving the impression that this same harmony enters his life as soon as he holds hands with the one he loves. The playful melody of the guitar, and the slow description of Daniel moving out of his house alongside the lyrics “coffee in the morning” create the perfect atmosphere of the beginning of a sunny morning of happiness, and starts off our journey with wave to earth through their day of love.

2. sunny days

The next two tracks, ‘sunny days’ and ‘peach eyes’, could signify the passing of a sunny morning and afternoon with someone you love. sunny days has a bright and refreshing sound. I particularly liked the lyric, “we melt this love and recreate it/as we imagine it/that’s how we make sunny days.” I always enjoy how Daniel writes lyrics that transcend the boundaries of different kinds of love. This one suggests that love can be whatever you want it to be, whatever you make it to be, and that’s how you create a lasting love with someone that adds sunlight and happiness to your life. Although the songs have romantic undertones, I found it just as easy to relate songs like ‘bad’ and ‘sunny days’ to spending a fun day with my friends. I think Daniel really does “melt love and recreate it” with such lyrics! The most evocative part of these songs, I think, is that the use of imagery in the lyrics brings to life the yellow glow of sunlight, “the beautiful scenery of the streets” and “the chirping of birds.”

3. peach eyes

‘peach eyes’ continues a similar theme, with a slightly lower sound that resembles admiring the one you love. This contrasts the higher and brighter tone of ‘sunny days’ that conveys the joy of being with your favourite person. The lyric “peach eyes” was a bit confusing to me at first, but bassist John Cha describes that the song was inspired by the band’s first international performance at a festival in Thailand, where the innocent happiness of the fans’ eyes evoked the phrase “peach eyes”. With this context, the song was even more heartwarming – ‘peach eyes’ suggests a softness, gentleness and calmness in the eyes of someone you love. The song suggests that this person grows ever more important to the narrator, with lyrics like “how many songs I write”, “how could I not rely/on you, peach eyes”, and finally “besides I won’t find nobody/to give my whole life, it’s you.” ‘peach eyes’ has a more late-afternoon vibe – the narrator describes “blue skies”, but then “you’ll be my sunlight” – although the sun is setting slowly, the brightness of their companion’s existence makes it feel as though the sun is still lighting up their day. This song comforts me and makes me smile and dance along a lot!

Together, I think these songs show the peaking and climax of a day, alongside the peak of love in a relationship – as the sun reaches its peak, so does the love the narrator has for the person they sing about.

4. evening glow 

‘evening glow’ is an interestingly contrasting song that sounds like a transition between the former sunny glow of the album, towards a slowly setting sun and a slowly ending love. The melodies of the song are soothing and have a nostalgic, romantic feel, but the lyrics are laced with twinges of sadness. The bright electric piano at the beginning, along with the lyrics, “If I feel broken/you will find me” create the impression of a love song, but the following lyrics – “Those useless words were falling apart on me/I’m struggling in my world” immediately destroy those impressions and come as a shock. While the opening melodies are soothing to the ear, the line “I might be full of flaws” sounds dissonant, almost out of tune – it conveys a theme like ‘flaws and all’ perfectly, and the next line “but you will crave my heart” is sung in a soothing, gentle tone, seemingly a comforting acceptance of those very flaws.

This song sounds like a mix between sadness and denial over being hurt by someone you love. The first verses use lyrics with an imperative tone: “you will find me”, “I might be full of flaws/ but you will crave my heart” – as though trying to convince oneself that this person couldn’t truly hurt you, they’d continue loving you as you are and save you when you feel broken. But the chorus reflects on being hurt by the person in a painfully sad way – “I’m broken/So take me to the evening glow/And lay me down on the sun/The tender sun.” It makes the pain caused seem almost romantic, desirable and something that the narrator wants to hold close and accept. The narrator seems to hope that if they get close enough to the “sun” that brightened up their days earlier, laying down on it despite its heat, they may feel less broken. They hope that the hurt this person caused them may lessen as they try and hold on to the glow of the setting sun, to the beauty of their fading love.

5. pink horizon and

6. pink

Hearing the studio version of this years-old song was the most satisfying thing about this album, and ‘pink’ is definitely my favourite song! Combining ‘pink’ with its intro, ‘pink horizon,’ is perfect in creating a dream-like feel. The experience of listening to ‘pink’ was a hundred times more amazing with ‘pink horizon’ to go with it, and I rarely listen to the two songs separately now. ‘pink horizon’ creates a cinematic picture of a pink sunset in my mind, from the fading in of the scene to a full shot of a field bathed in pink light, an image created by the soft piano at the beginning. As other instruments join in, the image grows clearer and paints itself, transitioning into the beginnings of ‘pink’.

‘pink’ feels like a memory remembered while experiencing the sunset. The lyrics seem to construct a dream world – “Everything is free here/A heart that spreads and flies.” The narrator seems to run trying to hold on to this dream – “I ran through the grass until my shoes were worn out/While the sun sets” – they try to grasp the fading love as they run towards the setting sun, holding on to this last beautiful memory. “I drew you/Your beautiful appearance,” they say – they need to draw in the image of the person they love, create this last beautiful memory so they can find a reason to hold on to a love that is fading. The fleeting nature of the relationship and the day is seen as the narrator goes on to say “The day passes by so fast/Almost as if it will be forgotten.”

The romantic vibes created by the melodies on the chorus, and the gentle guitar and saxophone at the end of the song, add to its dreamy vibe and create an even deeper sense of nostalgia, but also one of yearning and grasping for something faraway. With this song, we see the end of the day – the sun sets and it begins to rain, as the narrator sings “Around the time the raindrops burst/Will I miss you?” This song is beautifully comforting and the melodies are truly so satisfying to listen to. It’s a song that I hold so close to my heart – I played it on repeat once I’d had a few listens out of the album!

7. calla

‘calla’ continues on from the previous track, beginning with “It’s raining hard today…” The song continues the theme of a fading love, this time with the narrator giving their all to saving this fading relationship. “It’s raining hard today/It’s a bit too much for me/I know it will make you smile/So let ourselves get wet inside the rain.” The narrator allows themselves to be wet in the rain although it isn’t what they enjoy, just to see a smile on the face of the one they love. As their world “fills with the scent” of the one they love – as they see them happy, they glimpse their past love in their lover’s smile, they hope this moment is forever, and not a “daydream.”

The narrator describes their relationship as a calla lily – after they grow, these flowers enter a period of dormancy after which they regrow and bloom again. Thus, they see their fading love as something temporary – they hope that just like a calla lily, this love can grow back after its temporary death. Maybe this moment of happiness means that their love can be saved, that it can grow back to be the beautiful calla lily it once was. The narrator wants to put in every effort to ensure their love grows back – “If you don’t have enough sunlight/I’ll blow the clouds away/Calla.” They try to bring back the sunny days and bright light that characterised the beginning of their relationship, as described in the first few tracks of the album. Although the narrator tries to ‘get wet inside the rain’ at the beginning of this song, catering to their companion’s feelings, they once again try to bring the sun, their conception of happiness, back into their love and relationship.

The tone of this song is decidedly sadder compared to the previous ones – while they contained a nostalgic yet dreamy and romantic feel, this song’s melodies speak purely of yearning, of pain that stems from love. The song ends with the plain sound of only the bass and the drums – these instruments, which usually create rhythm, play with no accompaniment. This could show that the relationship has truly ended – without the melody and music holding it together and drawing it forward, all that’s left is the rhythm, the structure: the memory of what once was.

8. love.

From the outset, I could tell this was a song that was filled with emotion and had been made with a lot of effort, heart, and, well, love. The melodies convey a love so overwhelming and powerful. I learned that the song is very special and describes the love Daniel has for his fellow band members and others he loves, and describes how they help him live with love. I read the lyrics in English and I almost felt that there was nothing more I can say that he hasn’t already said. There’s nothing more I can add that wouldn’t tamper with the deep feeling and pure heart Daniel put into this song. But I love this song so much I had to write something about it.

The song progresses in a crescendo that seems to match the growing love and gratefulness in Daniel’s heart towards the people he loves. The first verse starts with a soft tone and mellow music, while the pre-chorus picks up both in loudness and as the notes progress upwards in pitch. As it transitions into the chorus, with the lines “Finally, the world is mine,” we hear a clear declaration of this love. The second pre-chorus and chorus truly showcase the rising and peaking of the crescendo – “Finally, our world is perfect/With love/With love”. Once again, the notes progress upwards in pitch and sound harmonious, reflecting this world that feels perfect just by being filled with love.

The choruses, with the lyrics “After I grew and healed in my small heart/It breaks, hardens and melts/Only then can I see my eternity.” And then, “Like a small wave/My small heart/Is broken and pushed/And melts into you/Only then can I see my eternity.” These lyrics seem to describe the healing force of love – how it helps you grow and heal but also can truly shake your heart and alter the way you feel and see the world, causing a shift in your mind that really does last for eternity. He captures beautifully the sudden, lasting change, but also the comfort and healing that a long-lasting love can bring.

Especially during the second chorus, the main melody on the guitar sounds to me like an incoming and retreating wave, mirroring the lyrics and the nature of the love Daniel sings about here. Another thing I love about this song is how harmonious it sounds – the melodies are very pleasing to my ears and feel consonant enough to be from the same scale. But when I tried to sing this song, I realized how many notes are actually flat and require you to take on a pitch you would not normally expect. I think that conveys so much meaning. That when you love someone, you’re willing to subvert your own comforts and expectations if it means it’d make them happy. It also shows that though any love and person is flawed, it will always seem perfect to you because you value it so much. You accept it with all its quirks and imperfections.

I’m really moved by how genuinely and beautifully love is conveyed in this song, and yet it is left open to interpretation what kind of love one associates this with. I think that this is a beautiful conclusion to the A-side. Even through growing to love and value someone, being hurt by them and trying to save a relationship that fails, there are different kinds of love, and even through all the pain and flaws that come with it, it’s still truly what makes our world perfect and worth living in.

9. homesick

This track opens B-side, its melodies creating a forlorn feeling of a misty, freezing winter day. As A-side transitions from day to night, it can also transition from sunny, happy days of love to rainy, cold days of heartbreak and loneliness.

This song seems to convey remembering a lost love in a more painful manner, seeing the dreams of the relationship you hoped to have break in front of you – “all I wanted was to fly high/I can’t believe my wings are broken/and fell against the sky”. The chord progression on piano for this sounds dark and purposefully dissonant, as though signifying a deeply entrenched pain. Similarly, the rhythms are slow and seem almost to stick, as though they refuse to move forward, resembling the freezing, misty tones of this song. The tone with which Daniel sings this is also something I’d never heard him do before – it really amazed me! His voice sounds silvery and fairy-like, resembling ice crystallising on tree branches. In this way, he really conveys the feeling of being heartbroken on a cold winter day, wishing to return “home”, to the dreams he created, although his house is now “gone.”

The lyrics “I can’t believe my wings are broken/and fell against the sky”, when contrasted with the songs on the A-side of the album, really reminded me of the story of Icarus. It seems as though in chasing this love that resembled the sun and holding it close, even laying on it (evening glow), he flew too close to the sun, and the wings of love that helped him fly and dream melted, much like Icarus’. He now freezes in the cold, starkly contrasting the warmth of the sun that he had just been experiencing.

10. dried flower

This was a song I was already planning to write about! wave to earth released the songs ‘daisy.’, ‘calla’ and ‘dried flower’, which beautifully describe the flowering and withering of love. ‘dried flower’ seems to serve the same purpose here, following the song ‘calla’ with its story.

While the lyrics of ‘calla’ conveyed some hope of saving the relationship, this song seems to show the narrator finally accepting that what they so cherished has now withered away, beyond saving. ‘calla’ suggested, “the whole world/is getting filled with your scent”, but ‘dried flower’ contrasts this with “the scent of love has been dried out/the words you gave me have been already dried out.” A similar contrast is seen with “If you don’t have enough sunlight/I’ll blow the clouds away, calla”, and “There will be no blossoms for us/We don’t have any wetness, no sunlight.” While in ‘calla’, the narrator tried to enjoy the rain and bring the sun back to rejuvenate the dying flower of the relationship, they now accept that there’s nothing that could possibly allow their love to grow back like a calla lily – there isn’t even a semblance of a flower left to shower with sunshine or rain, there’s no love left to save.

Here too, the melodies are dark and dissonant, which emphasises the sadness of the song, but also the distance between the narrator and their companion. Particularly, the notes of the saxophone at the end add to this dark, painful aura. I wished ‘daisy.’ had been on the album somewhere too to complete this beautiful trio of songs – all the same, dried flower is painfully beautiful!

11. sunburn

‘sunburn’ seems to describe the delayed pain of being too close to someone who was like the sun – finally feeling the unbearable pain of aloneness, of loving someone too bright for you. The song puts a different spin on the ‘sunny days’ of A-side – instead of beautiful scenery, the surroundings, much like their feelings, are like a wasteland of “rubbish filth” where the sun has “gone black”, throwing “smoky haze” in their eyes. Although it’s dark, late at night, the narrator still feels the burning pain of the sunburn. They wait for the morning to cool down the unbearable heat – they hope tomorrow will be better, but the air still feels hot, they cannot escape the painful memories of a lost love.

Once again, Daniel’s tone of voice conveys these emotions perfectly. He uses a raspy tone when he sings, “smoky haze in my eyes”, as though it is in fact burning him as he tries to see. Additionally, his voice is subdued and seems to blend with the instruments – rather than the focus being on his singing, the production of the song creates a slight clash between the vocals and the instruments, as though he really is being suffocated in a wasteland of heat and burning sunlight.

The instrumental break before the final chorus and outro was also really interesting to listen to. The saxophone sound seems dissonant alongside the other instruments, and the use of pitch bends further add to the pain that the song conveys. It suggests confusion and hurt, a multitude of thoughts and memories that don’t seem to agree with each other. The fast beats on the drums also suggest spiraling through your mind as you sift through past memories and relive the hurt they put you through. I truly love the way this song is sung, written and arranged with its evocative sounds and imagery!

12. akira

‘akira’ is an interlude that presents a calmer mood compared to the highly emotional and painful tones of the previous tracks on B-side. It has a cleaner, brighter sound. It was interesting to hear a track by wave to earth arranged without a guitar, but the bright piano sound with the drums and bass adds to the calmer, lo-fi feel of this interlude. I enjoyed how I could identify the melodies and sounds that each instrument was playing on its own while also forming a whole. The bouncy rhythms come together with the brighter melodies, possibly to symbolise a sort of slow acceptance of the confusion and pain conveyed in the past few tracks.

13. nouvelle vague

Continuing on from ‘akira’s’ more hopeful tones, nouvelle vague (which means new wave, I just found out to write this!) seems to describe a change of heart, a sudden seed of hope that begins to grow. The narrator seems to realise that although they have been through such hardships before, it’s an opportunity for them to learn and grow again – “It seems like we’ve been on this sharp road before/If the soles of your feet are worn out/You’ll grow all over again.” They want to move ahead now with no expectations for the future, leaving behind a past of pain and simply taking life as it comes (“The place to go back to is fogged up now/If we go forward, will there be something to see?/I really have no expectations”). The narrator tries to hold on to this ‘new wave’ of hope, hoping it doesn’t fade away and they can truly ensure it grows and fills their heart up completely. The melodies seem to convey excitement, mystery and anticipation. The saxophone is used in a versatile way in this album – first conveying nostalgia, romance, confusion, and now, in this song, hope.

14. so real

‘so real’ is really a magnificent conclusion to this album. The sound was beyond anything I expected. The beginning starts out soft, resembling the melodies of wave to earth’s ‘ocean floor’. The verses have a reflective tone – the narrator has been changed by the pain they have been through, in a way that’s difficult for them to explain. However, it seems they wonder about what could’ve been had they done something different – “take me to the bridge/I just wanna see the river/Tell me what’s your wish/I can’t make it real/But I’m just curious.” While they can’t change how things are now, they can’t help but wonder what could’ve been if they’d been able to fulfill their wish. The river seems to represent something of a crystal ball to me here – they can gaze into its waters and visualise all the things that could have been.

In my mind, I saw the song progress such that the narrator peers into the river and sees all the possibilities of love, heartbreak, everything that could’ve happened if things had worked out differently for them, all at once. I see the silence in the middle of the song, followed by the fast-paced instrumental break, to convey just this. The fast, jerky drum beats and the smoother rhythm on the saxophone seem to show a speeding reel of possibilities and scenarios – just as one imagines all the things that could have, but did not happen, rushing through their mind, the music conveys this same experience. I think the title ‘so real’ thus encompasses this perfectly. It’s an experience that is ‘so real’ – it’s real, relatable to everyone who wonders how they got to the point they’re currently at. It’s an experience that feels ‘so real’ – imagining things that could have happened in such detail that they almost come to life before you, but they are still in your head. It is a track that truly brings together all facets of wave to earth’s expression, and is a perfect conclusion to this album.

This was a review that I was both scared to write, and that took me ages to write. Life meddles with things and I kept getting interrupted while writing this, although I love this album with my whole heart and wanted desperately to write a review since even before it came out. It was difficult to convey my thoughts when I wasn’t able to anchor myself purely on analyzing the meanings of lyrics. wave to earth use music and melodies as much as their lyrics to convey the emotions in their songs, and with my slightly limited knowledge of how to explain certain musical concepts and sounds, I was worried I wouldn’t be able to convey my impressions clearly. Overall, though, I think ‘flaws and all’ truly is filled with every single aspect and feeling of wave to earth. It’s an album made with a lot of love and care, and I feel that each musical choice was intentional and conveys something deeply meaningful. It’s an album that I hold very close to my heart – I hope I have been able to express my impressions of it clearly!

References:

pink - adapted from pink english lyric video

love. - adapted from love. english lyric video

nouvelle vague

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, round 2 of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For John and Jack:

So, they both are literal murders. One of them is a little bit more insane than the other. Okay, the little bit part is not right, totally insane that is John, yes. But gonna love him though. He had been in rehab for alcohol, drugs, sex and murder. Don't kiss him, he might be wearing poisoning lipstick. They are canon mlm. They had been stuck in a two week time loop for five years, which was like leading a married life for them. They didn't actually marry, but they were partners, both in business and sexually. They worked together for an time agency. Then Jack's memories of two years were erased and he left. He went into  independent self deployment, doing scams using his knowledge of future events. After that he build an alien hunting institute in Cardiff, Wales. When John and Jack see eachother again after years, you don't know whether they will they kiss or fight. They do both. Did I tell you that along this story Jack became an inmortal who can't stay dead? No matter how or how often he dies or is killed, he keeps coming back to life. This is all very scraping on the surface, but oh boy, would it be at least a novella to describe them.

They worked together in the Time Agency where they did horrible things to the extent where Jack had two years of his memory stolen so that he couldn’t know what he’d done. They were also in a time loop together for five years where they canonically thought of each other as the wife (John was a good wife :3), and were basically married. Then they had a divorce arc and they both separately went rogue from the Agency to become conmen, although they still worked together/clashed on occasions, always still with that spark of passion. “Frenemies with benefits” Jack called them once, although John preferred “my lover, my rival, my nemesis and destiny. And bane of my bloody life.” Canon finds us where Jack has tried to reform and be a better person, but John is still chasing cons, and all he wants to do is bring Jack back to the stars with him, back to the crime and the glitter of the galaxies (it doesn’t work and he shoves Jack off a building but Jack got himself immortal so he’s fine <3) anyway I am very normal about them xoxo

In John's introduction to the series he shows up on a roof where some guy is mugging someone, grabs him by the throat and dangles him over the edge of the building while this guy begs for his life before dropping him just because he felt like it. When John and Jack interact for the first time in the show there's a super cool guitar riff, very evil western vibes, they walk up to each other, look deeply into each other's eyes, make out, then start throwing punches to Blur's Song 2. In one of the audio dramas we're told about various times where these two conned people, stole a bunch of money and gold and gems and stuff, then had sex with whoever it is they conned before (sometimes) killing them. When Jack devided he was done and left John to die John escaped and married the queen of England (Victoria) then locked Jack up somewhere to take his life force and live forever, destroying the timeline in the process. John has tried to kill all of Jack's friends at least twice to have him all to himself. He found Jack's long lost brother and when the brother turned out to be a terrible person with a vendetta against Jack John did everything he could to save Jack. Their relationship is canon but very one-sided most of the time

just this video

For the Doctor and the Master:

Immortal genderfluid war criminals <333

So we all know the Master has killed plenty of people, but, despite their reputation, the Doctor has killed a more than average number too. Sure they undid the whole destroying their own planet thing, but that's still something the Doctor did. Also there's apparently a novelization out there where, when they were children, the Doctor killed one of their childhood bullies but then made a deal with Death so that the Master had the memory of it and became Death's champion, which is pretty messed up and murder husbandish. There are plenty more war crimes on the Doctor's hands, and the Master has killed countless people in a variety of creative ways. Also, I'm having trouble finding the quote, but I swear the Master once said something to the lines of "trying to kill the Doctor is just my flirting" or something similar. But I do know Missy (also the Master but female at the time) described their relationship as "older than your civilization and infinitely more complex". They love each other, they're constantly trying to destroy each other, they are the only friends they each have who can even begin to understand everything they've been through; they've known each other since childhood and they've watched (and helped) civilizations rise and fall together. They may not be who you first think of for murder spouses but they really are a beautiful example.

[thedreadvampy]

We had our team Christmas party/goodbye Ruth do today. and I need to show you what my friend at work made me for a leaving present because even for him it's a work of mad genius, I was just sitting there like WHAT. WHAT IS HAPPENING.

so you know, I get leaving gifts from my team, it's lovely, notebooks, pens, gift card, fond farewells, it's lovely, people say nice things about me

then my friend Zain says "I also got you something"

Now the thing to know about Zain is his party acumen is legendary. every year we're all resigned from the off to losing at Secret Santa because his gifts are insane. last year he made his secret santa a custom play set of one of our services in a branded box with tiny props. this year he made a custom Ken doll and box representing our colleague and it has a tiny collection bucket and a "collect them all!" sticker on the back where he'd found pictures of Barbies and Kens that looked like the rest of the Fundraising team. we'd just got done with a quiz where he made a custom video package, a Family Feud round with buzzers, and TWO Photoshop picture rounds. once. ONCE. we asked him to facilitate a team meeting and he wrote and animated a theme song. the man is insane. everything he does is so thoughtful, so labour intensive, and also so off the wall weird.

so I'm intrigued. especially since all he's holding is an envelope.

he says "I got you something. It's kind of an experience."

and hands me this letter.

(there's a bunch of good bits in here but I will particularly note that "It's going" has been his perpetual refrain for months every time I ask how it's going, to the point he usually doesn't even bother saying it any more.)

ok. I am confused. what is. THE DEVICE.

he puts THE DEVICE on the table. he hands me 4 cardboard floppy discs.

THE DEVICE is a large cardboard box. You will observe that THE DEVICE has an LED on the front. You may also observe that THE DEVICE has both a button. and a set of speaker holes.

this is because upon pushing the button on THE DEVICE, it makes a jaunty startup noise and an AI voice launches into a full minute setup speech before instructing me to load the included floppy discs into THE DEVICE. during the period of silence as I feed them into the slot, THE DEVICE says things like "ow, careful!"

THE DEVICE then makes loading noises, and instructors me to open THE DEVICE to see the contents of the discs.

inside the box, there are 4 gifts, each corresponding to a floppy disc and also to a conversation we've had at some point in the last 2.5 years.

this, of course, is in reference to my infamous Blobbyland post, and indeed to the fact that Zain, who is 3 years younger than me, actually FOUND OUT ABOUT MR BLOBBY from me taking about my popular Tumblr post

Gawrsh.zip references a conversation about Goofy dying in Kingdom Hearts, the first video game I remember finishing

EIGHT MONTHS AGO Zain asked me what my top 5 films of all time were and I said easy, Mirrormask, 10 Things, Angels In America, Everything Everywhere All At Once, Fury Road, boom. He's been just HOLDING THAT INFORMATION IN HIS HEAD FOR MONTHS.

the last one is my favourite. I was like oh no what could be in this poster tube cause what's left of the floppies is NIGHTMARE.EXE.

at my Halloween party last month, to which Zain was my only work friend who made it, we watched Nightmare on Elm Street and Zain, who had recently watched some video breakdowns on it, was pointing out humorous background details. and in the sleep therapist scene, both he and Tim pointed at the screen and started shouting TRAM CATS!!! and we were all losing our shit

the thing is there's a Very Weird poster in that scene. and now. now it's in my house also.

anyway I legit almost cried this may be the most unhinged and lovely gift that anyone has ever given me. I'm going to miss working with this weirdo so much.

[sugar-omi]

okay, so i've been doing some thinking. i've been scrolling through your blog and i stepped upon these "cheating on cove with Baxter and the other way around" scenarios. (i'm sorry, i wasn't able to read them, my heart couldn't take it ;-;) but!

what if mc was like, in a normal relationship with Baxter. you know, a couple, maybe married later and stuff, while of course still being besties with Cove. later mc and Baxter have a kid together, maybe still a small baby but! plot twist! Baxter gets into an accident or something and dies. (i'm sorry, he's my favourite man but i had to kill him for that scenario:'))

mc is completely devastated and also a little panicked, because what about the baby? and then Cove stepps in, deciding to help his best friend take care of the little one and basically becomes its father. i recently watched a video of a dog "helping" a cat take care of her kittens, and there you have it.

this one may be boring, so feel free to ignore, but i can't stop thinking about it.

ITS OK<333 I figured some ppl didn't read it bc angst n pain</3 trust me I skip over angst all the time

(I even have the tag blocked😬 sorry angst writers but I will read it and not be the same for months, I read a kiribaku angst fic years ago, and was devesated for 4 months afterwards LMAO)

okay i... I cannot expand too much on this bc OUCH

(eta now that I've finished. who am I fooling? I rlly said that like I haven't wrote a whole novel 💀 anyway <3 this clearly made me pop off more than I thought I would bc I read this at first n was devastated!!! I had no words!!!! well clearly I found them LOL)

ALSO BORING??? ANON PLEASE.. BORING WHERE<///3

n im gonna fix the format later but for now here is the bare minimum. I'm going to bed rn so nini everyone enjoy a bit of angst I promise its fluffy as well<333

tags: Angst, Hurt/Comfort

p/n = parental name, since I wanted to leave flexibility for all the readers here <3

but anyway yeah cove would so step up for you

will follow you to the end of the earth and do whatever you need to help you work through this and to adapt to this sudden and unfortunate change

if/when your relationship starts becoming something romantic, cove would absolutely put the brakes on everything and you'd go so slow...

I imagine he'd probably move in with you or you with him, and he'd stay somewhere else (if you're living in his house he will leave anyway, he's a gentleman like that fr) so that way you can figure out if it's not just bc he's doing all these things n you're mistaking admiration for love

you'd spend the first year going super slow, as if you've never known each other before

which technically you haven't, since you've never dated before. but cove would go so far as to find out your favorite color, song, animal, food.. all over again, even though he has it memorized and knows your likes better than his own.

once cove is sure you're ready for this (after much talk between the two of you and even with your therapist that yes you've made enough progress and are emotionally ready for this) does he finally put a label on it

now if you get married...

I imagine cove won't propose at all

like I think you'd have to talk n almost beg him...

in that case he would do a small but grande gesture to propose. or he'd propose to you before you've even left the bed for the day... no inbetween

but like 8 times outta 10, you're gonna have to propose to him

he'd cry and hug you n say yes of course.

and unless you want to keep this outta your wedding, I think cove would include baxter in your wedding.

first, ofc you'd have the picture to honor his memory

but I think he'd even go so far as to have smth in his vows. but to start, he'd say smth like:

"I know the reason we became closer was unfortunate, but I'm so happy to be able to call you and [Child] my family. and I hope I can be a good father and husband"

and "baxter will always have a place in our hearts. even though he and I didn't get along at first (watery chuckle)... I'm glad he got to love you, and I hope he trusts me to love and cherish you the same way as well.."

also if you don't want to give up your wedding ring from baxter, I think cove would even go so far as to suggest combining it with his.

!!! omg I was gonna say your and baxter's wedding bands would be black, but I have another idea

okay now, for YOUR bands, I imagine they're either black or silver and yk those infinity(?) bands? that has the 2 types of metal or whatever

that's what cove would suggest doing. and if you are worried abt people asking why your bands are different, he'd get the same twisted band but silver with say a black diamond or smth. just smth to make it look like it's intentionally different colors but same design or smth

(im overthinking a bit but it's an idea right?! I'm not crazy??<////3)

or if you don't wanna do that, I imagine you can just slip it on a necklace or leave it as is, whatever you want. he wouldn't mind even if you kept wearing it, cove would never ask you to get rid of baxter's image or memory in any way, not unless it was a real problem and your attachment to him/his things was unhealthy anyway.

now for baxter's band... well if you didn't bury it with him, I imagine you'd give it to your child

another thing I think you could do w your wedding band as well, and give them both your bands to do whatever they want with. or if they don't want it of course you're not forcing them to keep it

even though they didn't get to know baxter, the way you and cove still cherish baxter's memory does help them feel something of a connection.

I also imagine baxter would take lots of photo n video w the kid, even though they're young n just a babe, theres so many videos of baxter looking n acting so loving w them

and even a couple where he's teary-eyed n all "imma do you right by you. I love you so much.."

of course, if the kid doesn't feel that connected to baxter since they were too young to know or rmbr anything, and they don't feel anything much other than sympathy and the occasional sting when they see how much baxter loved them, you don't force it.

you both know that baxter was basically a stranger to them and even though they still respect baxter and he has a place in their heart, they don't feel like they're lacking anything.

"I don't really know what to say.. or how to feel... I see how much [P/N] misses you sometimes, and we have pictures of you, and they talk about you and stuff...

but I don't feel like im missing a dad. I hope that doesn't hurt your feelings, I wish I knew you too. sometimes I wish you were still here, so I got to know you as well, even though I'm still happy to have dad cove for my dad.

I just wanna know what you were like. I wanna experience what you were like. I... I wanna miss you like everyone else misses you too...

anyway, just know that dad is great! he takes care of me and [P/N] really well! he makes breakfast in bed, and he does/used to do this thing where he lifts me in the air before bed! he's so cool. I see how he makes [P/N] happy as well, so don't worry. although, [P/N] said you always thought cove was reliable and a good guy so maybe you aren't worrying anyway.

well... that's it I guess. i hope ill get to know you one day, and maybe you can tell me you're glad to see dad took good care of us. goodbye,

baxter."

pa."

cove happily listens to anything they have to say on how they feel abt baxter btw. he accepts any of their feelings, be it that they don't feel anything at all, sympathy for others, or they feel sad abt losing him.

if they do say smth like how even though it's unfortunate and they feel bad for everyone who mourns baxter (for example/especially you), they see cove as their dad and don't feel like they're missing anything and they're happy to have cove for their dad.

ofc he cries n hugs them n tells them he loves em and he's happy n he comforts them if needed of course

I also think cove is very scared abt being a father

especially in this way... even if the kiddo doesn't remember anything, or it's hazy at best, he worries about replacing baxter.

he'd probably worry abt not living up to baxter

baxter was always much more mature, at least it seemed that way most times. cove just worries about if he has the backbone and the ability to parent the child well and be someone they can look up to and/or appreciate for being a good father

cries if they call him dad btw

if they do it before you start dating, I imagine it's one of the catalyst that cause you to talk abt your feelings for each other. or if it's in the early stage..

cove prbly freezes and runs away to the other room n freaks out, definitely cries. if you don't talk to him like right after he calls his dad n cries n shares his worries n fear

either way, when you do talk he's biting his nails n trying not to pace around the room and he's like "if you wanna distance yourselves so that they don't call me dad any more I totally understand, I mean idk it's prbly weird for you-"

n he just rambles. like none of it makes sense n u have to physically shut him up. kiss him, yell, throw a pillow, hit him w the child's stuffed animal, throw a single lego brick at his back and watch him fall to the floor like he just got a nuke thrown at him

if it's later on n theres nothing to worry abt bc youve talked abt this or saw it coming or its just the otherwise most natural step, he cries of course

but he doesn't fall apart from being his in the back w a single fucking Lego as if it hurt 🙄🙄🙄🙄 (I hate this man he's DRAMATIC)

well... actually no he does

hit him, kiss him, hug him, run him over w a hotel wheels truck.... he just cries harder

adopts them like immediately basically

I imagine you do it soon, like maybe before the wedding just so that way you can have a private moment (just to save him some embarrassment from ugly crying in front of your families. in fact he just might faint fr)

n you + the kiddo surprise him w adoption papers (depending on how old the babe is at this point, they have like no idea what's going on but they know that cove is now officially recognized by the whole world (even by the unicorns n wizards n warlocks) as their daddy))

imagine laying in bed w cove n the kid in between you two

and when you wake up, cove is alrdy awake and was watching you two. he was petting the kids wild hair and he had pulled the two of you in and kept you under his arm..

and the sunlight is coming in, the day is just perfect. n the look on cove's face is full of so much love but also a bit somber this time

(cove feels awkward being here like this sometimes. during times like this you have to remind him it's okay, and you pull him back in. of course he does the same for you on those days.)

"I love you two. so much..." he whispers, tears sticking to his lashes

the kid flips over, curling into cove and they stop their sleepy mumbling now that they're tucked into cove's chest, feeling warm, happy, and safe.

you whisper equally as tender. "we were meant to be like this too."

also!! smth I just thought of...

imagine the kid looks mostly/very much like baxter. they act very much like cove's kid

like you would think cove n baxter had a kid together LOL

(if the resemblance is too much, they ask if you're the step parent </3 pls Ik it may not make sm sense but I just think it'd be so fuckin funny)

[sinningtamer]

Not sure if you’ve answered this before but what are your favourite fics and ships?

Love all your art btw! <3 Thx for all the food!

i might've years ago, so let's go again! i'm gonna answer this question as only NSFW/kink related, otherwise the list would be way too long haha

alright let's start with the obvious: ParviII is and always will be my #1 one ship, even when I dip in and out of the fandom a lot (i feel the term OTP is super outdated these days? but if there was one ship i could use it with it's them...)

so obviously i'm gonna say Talking Body and Payment and Payback by @sparxwrites. because. you know. how can i not. oh yeah, Good Vibrations is also a classic. hiii sparx, i'm sorry for picking your older fics, i just have such a bias. they've written a ton of great stuff over the years though, so go give the account a peak! there's something for everyone, especially if you like darker stuff.

...speaking of accounts with a lot of content who lurk around here, shoutout to @pawpunkao3. lmpᴇarI is one of my favorite ships, and they're still such a rarepair somehow?? anyways I think about Between Bedrock and a Hard Place at least once a week tbh. A New Religion That'll Bring You To Your Knees is fantastic, and i have a soft spot for I Spy (even tho i didn't watch too much empires). again, another author with a whole arsenal under their belt, so don't just take my word for it and check the rest of his fics!

back to lmpᴇarI being a rarepair... @thatstoomuchsoup has Chicken Soup for the Soulbounds (okay it's more pearI-centric but they're both there) and is another blog that specializes in some of my kinks and these fandoms. same with @anon-teddy's content, gotta give a shoutout to full. this is also making me realize i haven't sought out enough poly S0up Group or GᴇmpuIse/PᴇarIgem fics...maybe i'll get back to you on that...

there's a bunch of good explicit trᴇᴇbark fics, but i said i was gonna keep this list concise, so the only one i'll specifically point to is how to deal with your supernatural lust for blood (and other things) in a completely normal and god-honoring fashion. for...reasons. also because it's good!

edit: oh my GOD i realized two seconds after posting this i completely forget to mention @also-an-art. go read (this is) hungry work and honey don't feed it right fucking now. i've read both of these in full (pun intended) multiple times they're that amazing. it's rare that the plot is just as good as the horniness, when i tell you i lost my mind at some of the development in these. also hot and dirty (like the la air) is a guilty pleasure. AND it introduced me to a song that ended up being #20 on my spotify wrapped LOL (RPF warning on that one! trust me tho)

let's get to my other bias, shall we? RᴛSpiff and RᴛS00t don't....have any explicit fics. nor does poly lᴀds. CMRᴛ does, though! I'm kinda picky about how people characterize them, but play it cool and Every Stumble and Each Misfire are lovely (note that the second one is also blatant RPF! don't say i didn't warn you o7)

speaking of lᴀds, if you follow me on main, you know i got into Bᴀnᴀna Bᴜs Sqᴜᴀd just last year (I'M SORRY, OKAY, DON'T @ ME-) you'd think getting into an old fandom late would mean a ton of great smut fics, right? to be honest, i haven't found many that i care for, but maybe i'm just picky... however, i remember your lips, they're the ones i miss, and smoke in your lungs, your lips on mine are SO GODDAMN GOOD i'm not even mad it's only those two i like because i could reread them 20 times. god. such fun characterization. shame the author orphaned them because i badly wanna read more of their stuff.

this is the part where you go, spirit, do you read anything besides (mᴄ)yt fandoms??? and i go, not really.............well, sort of. i like 0verwatch! and M0icy!! Reciprocity is a delightful PWP long fic. i'm also not really an omegaverse guy, but Water Me has such a good take on it i fell in looove.

okay, i'm gonna cut myself off here, enough though i could probably name dozens of more fics if i sat and thought about it. if anyone i tagged wants to be untagged, feel free to reply here or shoot me an ask/dm!!

[ace-touya]

So these are the anime in your pinned post : BNHA, JJK, Blue Exorcist, Hell Girl, Your Name, Weathering with You, and A Silent Voice...

Can I ask your top 5 favorite moments from each of the series/movies above (please pick at least 3 titles)? Thanks 🌷

Oo okay! This is gonna be long because I did all of them.

My Hero Academia - I adore Dabi’s Dance first and foremost, then all the flashbacks to his childhood in Season 6, Episode 17. Third, I loved Aizawa and Mic’s conversation with Kurogiri in the Villain Academia arc, and one of the scenes that’s stuck with me the most in MHA is when Aizawa says ‘don’t apologise for being alive’ to All Might, I think around the Christmas Episode? That would be fourth. Finally, the scene where Toga uses Ochaco’s quirk in the villain academia. Those aren’t in order at all but they’re the things that come to mind

Jujutsu Kaisen - the scene in the end of season 1 where Megumi uses Domain Expansion for the first time after remembering advice Gojo and Sukuna gave him was really cool. And the scene where middle school Megumi is sitting on a pile of bullies he just beat up as second. Third, the end of the hidden inventory arc where Gojo’s asleep having dream flashbacks of meeting little Megumi, then he wakes up and grown up Megumi is the first thing he sees. In the same episode, the scene where Geto is giving a speech to his cult and kills a dude on stage is so uncomfortable and kinda disorienting, but so cool, so that’s fourth. The scene at the end of the JJK 0 movie with Gojo talking to deathbed Geto is my fifth.

Blue Exorcist - the scene were Rin is reading the letter in the Impure King arc and he’s just like ‘…interesting…’ and they’re like ‘what does it say’ and he just goes, ‘I can’t read it’. Second, the scene way at the beginning of it when Rin is yelling about how Shiro isn’t even his real father and then Shiro slaps him. Third, the moment where Amaimon was opening and closing Rin’s sword and his flames were just going on and off was funny. Fourth, when Rin talks to Kuro about Shiro’s death and gets him as a familiar. Fifth, Kamiki being the only reasonable one after they found out Rin was the son of Satan and saying she doesn’t really care. I don’t know when any of these things happened but it’s all in season one and two

Hell Girl - Ai Enma singing the song her cousin used to sing with her while she’s making the pebble tower is probably my favourite moment in the show, it’s near the end of season one. That’s my first. Second is in the Bride Doll episode when Ren is watching Inori get tortured by her mother-in-law and says ‘women are scary..’ to which Honne Onna responds ‘have you only just figured that out?’. Third, the scene where Ai talks to Nina in episode 17 and gets her to remember she isn’t actually Nina. Fourth, any scene where Tsugumi says she doesn’t think Hell Girl is completely in the wrong, much to Hajime’s dismay. And fifth, the flashbacks to Ai and Sentarou.

Your Name - the scene where Mitsuha reads that Taki wrote ‘I love you’ on her hand and starts crying because she can’t use that to remember his name. The scene with Taki in Mistuha’s body where her grandmother asks him if he’s dreaming and he starts crying. The bit when Taki goes in person to see Mitsuha and finds out that the comet killed everyone three years ago. I don’t know when it happened but I swear there’s a scene where Taki refers to Yostuha as his sister and I found it incredibly cute. Finally, the scene where Mistuha yells ‘please make me a cute Tokyo boy in my next life!’

Weathering With You - Hodaka saying the McDonald’s burger is the best meal he’s ever had. Second, Hina telling Hodaka she’s disappearing, then cuddling, and him waking up with her gone and Nagi having had the same dream as him. The entire part of the movie where Hodaka is running from police and doing crazy shit to get away from them. Of course fourth is ‘Who cares if we never see the sun again?! I want you more than any blue sky!’ And fifth would have to be Nagi, Hina and Hodaka in the hotel just having the times of their lives as a found family

A Silent Voice - the scene where Shoya’s mum stops Shoko’s mum from fighting with Ueno. Yuzuru’s conversation with her grandma right before the grandma dies. The scene with everyone at the bridge where Shoya calls everyone else out on their bs. Shoya saving Shoko when she tried to kill herself. Shoko when she tried to confess her love to Shoya.

This was really fun to answer

[twig-tea]

People I wanna know better tag meme

Thanks for tagging me @my-rose-tinted-glasses and enabling my I-don't-wanna-deal-with-this Monday! 💕

Last song?

Perusing my Spotify recs between meetings this morning and this, Adiós by I Segreti, is an immediate new like (guess the payola worked):

Favorite color?

Anything blue-green. Teal, aquamarine, turquoise, cyan, robin's egg, etc etc. If I had to choose a specific single colour? #33b3cc. Most of my closet is that colour or the complimentary #cc3366.

Currently watching?

Ongoing watch list (in order of when they air in the week because I'm too lazy to reorder them from my spreadsheet; top 5 in blue + * in case that doesn't render for everyone):

Chaser Game W* (on GagaOOLala this week)

7 Days Before Valentine

Cherry Magic anime

Playboyy the series

For Him the series

Sahara Sensei to Tori Kun

Sukiyaken kedo dou yaroka?*

Last Twilight (ends this week)

PitBabe the series

Ossan's Love Returns*

Cherry Magic Thailand*

Dead Friend Forever

The Sign

Night Dream the Series (ends this week)

Cooking Crush*

My Universe (ends this week)

Love for Love's Sake (starts this week)

One-offs: Happy Ending (airs tomorrow)

Just finished: VIP Only, Twins the series, Rebel Princess/Monarch Industries [binge], Taskmaster Champion of Champions 3; Ossan's Love original 2016 short (had no idea GagaOOLala had gotten their hands on that one too, I'm so happy to have finally seen the original!)

Last movie?

Monster (2023). It was incredible. Watched it twice in the same week.

Sweet/Spicy/Savory?

Savoury all the way.

Relationship status?

I'm somewhere on the aromantic spectrum; happily single for over a decade. A little over a year ago I was on a deserted beach on the Atlantic ocean and found a wedding ring that perfectly fits my ring finger, so I consider myself married to the sea.

Current obsessions?

In addition to the obvious BL/GL/Queer media obsession I have going on, I sometimes throw on live dives of ocean exploration when they have them (fave is Schmidt Ocean Institute, they have a YouTube channel here). The scientists live stream and offer commentary, and it's such a cool way of seeing parts of the world never before seen while learning something about both our world and how they undergo the science to inform what we know about it. And the camera quality has gotten incredible. My favourite thing I've seen is baby octopuses born live on camera at ~9k feet below the surface! It's a little addicting even though there are hours of nothing between the cool moments.

Last thing you googled?

Whether there's a difference between mayak eggs [Korean] and ajitama eggs [Japanese] (slightly different recipes but very similar in essentials).

Selfie or another pic you took?

Have another photo of my parents' dog, the bud in my avatar, Princess Patch aka Patches:

Tagging but as always no pressure: @sorry-bonebag, @solitarywandering, @hyeoni-comb, @he-is-lightning-in-a-bottle, @imminentinertia also @lurkingshan you mentioned me in yours so tagging so that you see this even though you've done it already! And anyone else who feels like it please consider yourself tagged 💕

[bestfriend491]

Okoye and reader. Sorta continued from fainting ones

Reader and okoye are on a romantic date night, when readers ex girlfriend comes into the picture. Okoye knows it's her because of the way reader reacts, and our beautiful general goes into total protection mode?

Reality Check (Lies of Omission Prt.3)

A VALENTINE'S WEEK SPECIAL

Okoye x Female Reader

Summary: Months since she found out about everything, it is Valentine's Day and you decide to go out on a nice date day. Unfortunately, bad company seems to interrupt your night. Read Part 1 and Part 2 before reading this. Or don't. I'm not the boss of you. 😌

Angst and Hurt/Comfort

Warnings: Brief Mentions of Past Abuse,

“Love recognizes no barriers, it jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination, full of hope.”- Maya Angelou

You woke up after barely a few hours of sleep, getting up and ready to put the final touches on the present you had for Okoye. It was your first (technically second) Valentine's Day together and you were beyond excited to spoil your love. 

You had the whole day planned, where you would pamper and spoil her to the highest degree. And she didn’t have to do anything. Okoye was vaguely aware of your plans since you had told her not to plan anything at all, but she was nowhere near aware of the true detail that you had put into planning the perfect day. 

You had silently been planning the day since the new year started, getting the reservations needed and asking around for people’s help when necessary. Now, people were sick of you bothering them for things specifically for this day, but it was finally here, and you were excited to allow Okoye to take a break from constantly working and just have a nice relaxed day off. 

She had training in the early morning, so she was gone. It was the one non-negotiable when it came to her not working, so you let her have it. It gave you an extra hour to yourself for the final details. 

You were completely prepared to make a fool out of yourself today, and you planned to have Okoye join you in the foolishness. 

You got into your planned clothing, and got your equipment to leave your house. 

As you entered the palace grounds, you got Aneka’s help in setting your first event up. Okoye was at the training grounds, with a group of new Dora Milaje. 

Just as you had anticipated, her back was turned away from you. Aneka held a bouquet of flowers 5 times bigger than her head, while you handled the microphone and speaker that you were to use. 

Stopping in the middle of the outside field, you put your things down, and began to play your music. Even before you had increased the volume on it, Okoye had turned, recognising your favourite song from anywhere. She stood, smiling at you as the intro played away. 

Then, you started to hum, an indication that you were about to sing. Her eyes grew wide as the rest of the Dora Milaje, and a few other people from inside came out to see what the noise was about. You grew a bit more nervous seeing the turnout, but seeing as the elders were yet to arrive, you had no reason to remain respectable. 

“I just wanted to dedicate this song to my one love.” you said, in a deep voice. 

It was right before you belted out the love song that you constantly played at home, singing like a performer at a full stadium on a Wakandan Public Holiday. 

Whether you could carry a note was irrelevant at the time, although you thought you had a decent enough voice. 

As the chorus came along, you put your hand out to Okoye, who was being cheered out by your audience. She walked to you, taking your extended hand as you got into the second verse. 

With her close to you, you could see her face completely flushed with shock. You knew for a fact that internally, she was blushing, even if she would later use her melanated skin to deny it. 

You got a bit slower during the second verse, singing your own version of the song. Changing the lyrics to ones that you knew Okoye would love. 

Halfway through the verse, even she forgot that you had company around, letting you finish the song with her in your embrace. She loved when you expressed your extra loving side. Even when you were making a fool of yourself. She didn’t hold the same belief that your voice was the best, but that didn’t matter. As long as you were the one singing to her, she didn’t care how many notes you missed. 

As the song came to a close, your eyes were both closed. She whispered in your ear as she opened her eyes. “We’ll work on that high note.” you gasped dramatically as she laughed at her words. 

“ I just serenaded you in public. Give me some credit.” you smiled a toothy smile as she kissed you softly. 

As you untangled from your position. You got back to business, making Okoye stand in front of you as you held your mic to your lips again. 

“On this beautiful day, I just wanted to ask this amazing love of my life a question everyone.” 

Okoye's eyebrows raised in confusion. 

“Will you… go to breakfast with me and spend the day as my valentine?” you said. 

She chuckled, nodding her head. You put the mic down, taking the bouquet from Aneka and thanking her. Okoye gasped at the size of it, definitely questioning why that was the size you chose.

“You’re quite the valentine.” she complimented. 

“I’ll say. This is just the beginning, my love.”

By now, the crowd had dissipated, but you knew that a few videos were taken, so everyone would know about it at some point. 

You directed Okoye to a smaller dining area in the palace, where a private breakfast had been prepared. 

You sat down next to each other and ate, enjoying the casual conversation that came, as though you hadn’t just done what you had. 

“Is the whole day going to be like this?” She asked. 

“Like what? Romantic?” you got worried, because it was going to be filled with romance, and if she didn’t want that then the entire day would be terrible for her. 

“No. I know it’s going to be romantic. But. is it going to be as public as that?” She hesitated to say it, not wanting to ruin any one of your plans.

You shook your head in relief. “ No! That was the only thing. I had to start off big. Everything else will mostly just be the two of us.”

“Mostly?” 

“Yes, mostly. I couldn’t plan a great day without any sort of help.” 

She nodded, not being able to argue with logic. Her morning training stiffness had already faded in your presence. Having a nice breakfast with her was rare. She would usually obsess about you having fainted at night, or she was gone to the palace and you were busy with your own work. 

It was a rare moment where none of those worries were mentioned, mostly because you had banned her from asking if you were okay at any point in the day. You wanted just one day where she didn’t have to worry about you.

The two of you finished and got ready, while you handed Okoye the clothes she needed to change into. It was still training garments, but a lot less casual. 

She gave you eyes of question when you handed them to her but obliged and wore the clothes before taking your hand in hers and allowing you to lead the way. 

Thirty Minutes Later

“Where are we going, Y/n?” Okoye asked you as you continued to walk to your destination. When you told her that you would take a quick walk to your next planned date, she thought you meant that it was 5 minutes away. She didn’t realise that you actually planned to take an entire walk. 

“We’re almost there, Sthandwa. Not even 5 minutes away, I promise.” you responded. 

She sighed, not saying anything else. She really wanted to know if you were okay, having travelled by foot for many metres, but you had made her promise not to ask you anything about the way you felt physically for the whole day. 

She was a woman who kept to her word, but she hated every second of it. She knew that her concern could sometimes be overbearing and she knew that she needed to work on it, but she just wanted to make sure that you were okay. It had been many months since she had found out, but she still worried like the first time it had happened. 

She couldn’t help her protectiveness for you. Her love for you was just too strong for her to want to let anything happen to you. 

You could tell that she wanted to ask. She barely went that long without doing a check in with you, but you loved how she respected her promise to you.

As you slowed down, Okoye followed you, not having a clue where the two of you were. It was only when you were only a few metres away from your destination that Okoye was connecting the dots on what you had planned for your portion of the day. 

She stopped dead in her tracks, grabbing your arm to stop you while giving you a bewildered look. 

"Y/n. Why are we in front of Wakanda's most prestigious dance instructors' house?" She asked you, Watching you struggle to find a reasonable answer as you smiled mischievously.

"I booked a lesson for us. I thought it would be fun. We don't do these things that often." 

She let out a chuckle, "We both have 2 left feet. Why do you think we of all people should do this?" 

"Like I said, I thought, and still think that it will be fun." 

“Hmm.” She scoffed, letting you lead the way to the entrance. You gladly knocked on the door of the home, not having any fear after your singing. Not a single other plan for the day scared you now that you were done with that. 

You were excitedly greeted by S'Yata, Wakanda’s famed dance instructor. She specialised in choreographing wedding dancing, and she was well known for making the most sensual first dances for the marrying couples that hired her. 

Okoye again wanted to know why you were there if you had no plans to get married soon, and even if you did, she would never want to do a first dance choreographed by S’Yata at her wedding. They were known to be difficult to the average couple, but the two of you were not an average couple. Not when it came to dancing. One thing that the two of you desperately lacked was rhythm. Granted, it wasn;t as bad as Okoye made it in her head. You could dance a little. And she could move her body on command too. 

It was just the formal stuff that the two of you weren’t too good at. After a tragic wedding dance proved this point, the two of you had refrained from doing any form of wedding dances ever since.

“Let’s get started, shall we?” S’Yata said, welcoming you inside. You looked back at Okoye and gave her a not so reassuring lopsided smile.

1 hour later…

"Okoye you're too far away. Come closer." You instructed. The two of you had finally got the basics to the dance down, and you didn’t want to lose the flow.

"I'm as close as I'll allow myself to be in public, Y/n. This position already feels extremely indecent for others to see." Okoye said, looking at S’Yata as she said it.

You laughed, seeing what she was trying to imply by 'public'. To her defence, the two of you were more minimalistic in your public displays of affection. And you had promised to keep the rest of the day less public. But S’Yata was only one person, and you really wanted to get the dance right. 

The two of you were already chest to chest and leg to leg, so there wasn’t much room to spare. But Okoye needed to hug you closely as you slowly swayed. 

“Please. For your Valentine?” You asked, kissing her cheek sweetly. 

Instantly, she hugged you closely, and you swayed back and forth. 

“I love you.” you whispered. 

“I love you more.” she said. 

You stayed like that, even getting enough flow for S’Yata to just leave the two of you in her studio, allowing you to enjoy the moment.

“You’re going to like what we do next, Okoye. I promise. Just the two of us from here on out.” 

Okoye smiled at that, still winded from the dancing. You seemed to be in high spirits, and you hadn’t slowed down to even catch your breath.

When the quinjet arrived in the sky, and landed not too far from the two of you, She got excited once again. You walked her inside, and she saw how advanced the quinjet was. It was far more advanced than the ones that were used currently. 

“Shuri allowed me to use the new prototype for a few hours.” You explained. 

“How did you know about this before I did? I’m the General.”

“Being noisy comes with perks, Okoye.” you joked. 

The two of you sat in the pilot seats that were situated in front, wanting to see the view, but you kept the jet on autopilot like it had arrived, wanting to enjoy seeing wakanda from the sky without worrying about steering. 

The jet lifted into the air, and you spent an hour just staring out of the window, admiring your country. It was only when you noticed that Okoye had gotten strangely quiet, that you broke the silence.

“Say it.” you said, getting her to turn to you. 

She looked at you in confusion, “ Say what?”

“Ask me the golden question. I know you want to and that’s why you refuse to relax, Okoye. So just ask me this one time.” 

She smiled, “How are you feeling?” 

“Pretty good. I’m on the best date in the world, with the one woman that I love and she agreed to do this for me so I-”

“-Y/n,” She said, seeing what you were doing, “That is not what I meant.” 

You let out an exaggerated sigh, before finally getting serious. “I’m okay, Okoye. I haven’t felt dizzy or anything today. So I’d say that I feel very good.”

She eased up at that, but still there was a trace of tension in her face, and that was not the point of valentines day. 

“How are you feeling, darling?”

“I feel good.”

“Don’t lie to me.” you said. flat-toned.

“Okay. Honestly, I feel good about today. And about you. But, I worry that I’m overbearing and that might chase you away.” 

“You can’t chase me away. I’m here for the long run.” you reassured her, “But… you are overbearing.” 

“I love that you care enough to make sure that I’m okay. But I’m a grown woman, Okoye. I’m done with the lies and I always tell you when I don’t feel well, so there is no need to constantly try to protect me.” you had been getting frustrated with the constant worry that she carried around when you were together. And the worry that doubled when you were apart. 

“I’m sorry. I’m going to work on it. I promise I will, sthandwa sam.”

You got up from your seat, and went to sit with her. The chair was not big enough to fit two grown people, so you ended up just sitting on Okoye’s lap, kissing her head and wrapping your arms around her. 

“I promise I won’t leave, Okoye. I just want you to trust me when I say that I'm okay.”

You’d grown tremendously over the past months, and your ability to be honest with people had gotten better. You had slowly been telling more people about your fainting spells, being more accepting of your not so new reality. The people around you were always supporting you. 

They were there to catch you when you unexpectedly fainted, and the released stress from hiding had reduced the amount of spells you had in general. You no longer had to lie and say that you were okay when you weren’t. And it was all thanks to the woman that held you. 

You would never leave her, as long as you heart felt the way that it did. 

“I’m not leaving either.” Okoye whispered, before the two of you closed your eyes and fell asleep. 

By the time that you woke up, you were back on ground, and the evening sun had started fading into darkness. 

You had one thing left, a nice dinner. 

The two of you went home, and freshened up, getting dressed a lot more formally before leaving the house. 

You had made reservations at a new restaurant in the city. The place had just opened during the new year, and they had luckily had openings for the night when you called. 

You were directed to a table in the corner. A loveseat that you had paid extra for. Scoping the menus and choosing your meals before the server arrived. 

“Thank you for today. I really loved being your valentine.” Okoye complimented, and your lips involuntarily spread into a wide smile. One of the many that the day had brought. 

“Hi, can I please get the bill?” a voice came.

Your blood ran cold as the voice of your nightmares spoke. Your smile was immediately wiped clean and your body grew rigid. Flashbacks of your ex came rushing back and when you looked to the left and saw her, not in prison, your body instantly grew anxious. 

Okoye saw the change as soon as it happened, and when you didn’t reply to her calling you she got worried. 

“Y/n, what's wrong?” she took your hand in hers, massaging your palm to calm you down. 

“It’s her.” you let out, with no further explanation. Your breathing got shaky and your heart rate increased as you tried to take a breath.

Okoye wanted to ask who you were talking about, but seeing you she knew that there was only one person who could make you that anxious. 

She stood up slightly, and saw what you had, recognising her from your descriptions of her. She was tall and muscular but she wasn’t very intimidating. She only looked like a threat to the people that knew what she was capable of. 

Okoye’s blood started to boil, seeing the woman smile so happily. She ruined you for so long, and you were only just starting to land on your feet. If it were up to her she would rot in as a prisoner for the rest of her miserable life. 

“Okay, let’s go. I can cook dinner.” She said, already getting out of her chair to help you up. 

Your body cooperated without your mind's consent, as your mind was in a different world. Okoye politely told the waiters that you were leaving, and helped you take your shoes off to walk easier. 

As you walked out into the empty street, the voice came again. 

“Y/n. I guess we meet again.” 

You turned around to look at her, but Okoye stood firmly in front of you as she took stared daggers at Chedano, who had a proud smile smothered on her face.

“ I see you got protection now. Scared to be alone with your one true love.” 

“If I were you, I would tread lightly and think very carefully about the next thing you said.” Okoye said sharply, reaching for her spear as she secured your position behind her. You didn’t move, you body paralysed in place as you looked at the women who used to hurt and torture you. 

“You know, we never formally broke up, so whatever this it between you and the General is cheating ,Y/n” she sneered “We wouldn’t want to have to teach you a thing or two about loyalty, would we.” 

Okoye unleashed her spear, pointing it at the woman. 

“Threaten her one more time and see what happens Chedano. I have no problem taking you back to prison.” 

Chedano, backed away at the sight, and her smile faded at the word prison. 

Okoye approached her, pointing her spear right at her chest. 

“If I ever so much as catch a whiff of you being near her, or communicating with her. Prison will be the least of your worries.” Okoye said, jumping towards her abruptly and grazing her spear only slightly through her arm. Leaving a big gash. 

Chedano nodded, running away as blood dripped on the street. 

Immediately, Okoye turned to you and was by your side. 

“My love…” she said as you broke down in her arms, the tears flushing out.

“I’m sorry. Let’s go home.” she said, lifting you and wrapping your legs around her waist as you cried into her shirt while she walked you to your house. 

She kept comforting you as she walked, allowing you to let it out, your fear only increasing as the minutes went by. 

By the time you got home, you were in a full blown panic attack, your body in a full panic. 

She put you down on your bed, standing in front of you as she comforted you, helping you breathe through it. The night had settled in, and the darkness only brought more fear. 

You breathed with Okoye, holding her hands as your heart settled into a slower rhythm. 

“I think I'm gonna faint, Okoye.” you said, feeling it coming. 

“That’s okay. I’m here, Y/n. I’m he-” 

You passed out. 

Okoye laid you on the bed, placing you on your side and waiting. 

After a gruesome 10 minute wait, you started to open your eyes. You were calmer when you saw Okoye there. 

She kissed you head, going to get you water, while you sat up in your bed. 

“Thank you.” you said as she handed you the water. 

You drank it while focusing on remaining calm, like you had worked on. Okoye stayed with you, getting into bed with you and holding your hand. 

“I’m here. I love you."she whispered to you as your eyes slowly started to close. You nodded your head, defeated. 

“I love you so much. And you planned the best date I’ve ever had today. We don’t have to talk about what happened now, but I'm here. I will always be here to protect you, my love. You are my entire world, and I’m not going to let anyone hurt you ever again.” 

“Thank you.” you whispered again, but a tear rolled down your face. She wiped it away for you. 

“I love you. Thank you.” you said, and allowed yourself to hug her. 

”Healing is an art. It takes time, it takes practice. It takes love.” – Maza Dohta 

Author's Note: After a long wait, Part 3 is here. I loved writing this. It was sort of healing. This is of course my contribution to Valentine's Week, but I do think there were a few things that I wanted to say in terms of love. 

I want every person reading this to know that it is okay if you didn’t realise that your abuser was abusing you. There is no shame in taking a lot of time to fully recover from it either. Those types of things can take a lot from you. Many of us were never told that abusive behaviours were actually abusive. Being queer, it's even harder to navigate that world because we are so busy fighting the world to prove that we are valid and our love is valid, it leaves us more vulnerable to being unknowingly manipulated and hurt without us realising it.

You deserve the type of love that fights for you, not with you. 

Happy Valentine's Week, and I love you. 💙

[ultraviolet-ink]

20 Questions for Fic Writers!

I was tagged by @aawrightworth, thank you so much for this!! <3

How many works do you have on Ao3? 117, but I have four more on the roster due to @aaholidayrare!

What's your total A03 word count? 427,315 (OH WOW???)

What fandoms do you write for? Ace Attorney/Great Ace Attorney!

What are your top five fics by kudos? 1) Once Upon a Christmas (2019)- NRMT first kiss prompt 2) 12:26 AM (2019)- Forbidden Hospital Scene 3) The Talk (2020)- Greg notices that Baby Miles has a crush 4) Oh Shirt! (2019)- Phoenix can't find his shirt at Miles' place 5) Litigation in the Streets... (2021)- Miles and Phoenix become the subjects of tabloid gossip NGL, I'm not surprised that my top rated fics are NRMT, they're oldies but goodies! I've definitely grown as a writer (not to mention grown UP since these were all written when I was 18-20), but it really is lovely to see that they're still getting love! <3

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? OMGOMGOMGOMG!! Yes!! I love doing it because it lets the commenter know that I've seen their comment, and that I really do appreciate them! No matter how old a fic is, I will comment back as soon as I get that email, haha! In all seriousness, it's my way of giving back a kudos, a sort of "kudos to the reader" if that makes sense. They really do make me smile and I like to print out some of the comments that made me cry happy tears and save them in a scrapbook so that I can read them when writer's block hits me. Also, commenting brought my some of my greatest friends <3

What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? Ohhh DEFINITELY I Dreamed A Dream (2022)!! Not only is the title from the Les Mis song of the same name (where Fantine's life is just absolutely ruined), but I did the one thing I never thought I would be able to do... I KILLED one half of the otp!! It's a RyuuSusa fic, and of course, Major Character Death, proceed with caution!

What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Oooohhh this is a really hard one since I'm such a sucker for happy endings! I think the one that makes me the happiest now is from The Caterpillar Man (2022). It's a fic I wrote to sort of conceptualize Yujin and Susato's relationship when the former came home from the original study trip, and it takes place over a year and among other tragedies and growth. It's from the perspective of Susato, and I think it's one that still makes me tear up (and I got fanart based on it once!!)

Do you get hate on fics? I've never been John Phoenix'd which is very rude, am I not GOOD enough for you DaKoolGuy?? but in all seriousness, I don't really get hate on specific fics, but because I'm so vocal about a certain pairing (being Ryuu X Susato.... if I'm not supposed to ship, why game make so cute?)

Do you write smut? Not on Ultraviolet_Ink, but I do on Infrared_Quill! Fun fact, Infrared got put on a blacklist when I only had one work, and Ultraviolet wasn't on it, I found it quite funny XD

Do you write crossovers? The Journal of Dr. Yujin Mikotoba (2022-????) is just one giant crossover with ACD canon, and I'm planning on having Raffles and Arsène Lupin making an important appearance in the future! It's very self indulgent XD

Have you ever had a fic stolen? God I hope not

Have you ever had a fic translated? Not to my knowledge, but I do have a blanket statement saying that I am a-okay with a translation of any of my works!

Have you ever co-written a fic before? It's always been in the "omg we should totally do this" phase, but given how I am with my own works, I feel like I would be a nightmare to work with XD

What's your all-time favourite ship? Honestly... It's between HomuMiko and RyuuSusa, especially since that's just what I've been writing recently XD

What's the WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? That's a good question that I don't have a single answer for XD I have a notepad full of a WIP list, but I think one that intrigued me when I first started off was this sort of continuation of the JFA 2-4 bad ending, just kind of coming from the ashes and then De Killer eventually kills Phoenix for betraying Matt Engarde (just because of the principle). It's really interesting to think about, but I honestly don't know how I could workshop it, and I remember stopping because It made me too sad haha! If you come across this and like the idea, please feel free to adopt this bunny, no credit needed! I'm not the first person who came up with a continuation of Miracle Never Happen, and I'm sure I won't be the last!

What are your writing strengths? I think I'm getting a lot better at dialogue, especially since I have a very good friend who helps me workshop them through a sort of RP! I would say that I'm also good at making a sort of vibe/ambiance, I know how to dress a scene B-) (Yes I was a theatre kid)

What are your writing weaknesses? Dialogue is also something I struggle a lot with, but I would say I get into my own head too much, and I over think and try to over explain to cover up "holes" (Cracked.Com owes me reparations for this)

Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'm a linguistics nerd, I love writing dialogue in other languages! I even wrote a fic entirely in Latin because I wanted to practice (Miles et Phoenix Romae Sunt (2021)). That being said, you have to use more than Google Translate, I've studied and majored in Spanish, so I'm confident enough in my own skill to write, but I don't really know German despite English being Germanic! So, while I do use Google Translate to get a base understanding, I try to run it by a native speaker, or at the very least, someone who has studied the language, to see if it makes sense haha. Or don't, I'm not your mom, and we're all just doing this for shits and giggles XD

First fandom you wrote for? ...... Oncest Those journals filled with Oncest have been burned since 2014 in the traditional "middle schoolers host a bonfire at the end of the year" that my friends hosted, and they will never see the light of day XD But then again..... how ba-a-a-ad COULD it have been? Tbh, I do regret getting rid of them, not because they were actually lost Great American Novels, but they were something I created and I could look back on and see how I've grown and what I've just stuck with over the years XD

Favourite fic you've ever written? It's honestly a tossup between The Journal of Yujin Mikotoba and The Caterpillar Man! I just love playing around with the empty playground canon left me haha

[haggstroem]

five songs you've been listening to lately!

@occultwhiskers (my main blog) was tagged by @parisinflamesmp3, thank you so much! i will have to cheat because i usually just listen to albums as a whole, but i'll try to pick some (with the help of Spotify stats and last.fm lmao). oh yeah, also, that's a list sorted purely by vibes.

Autumn Creature — Cuttlephone. starting off strong, i've been listening to Midday Odd a lot lately, mostly because i recommended the album to a friend a while ago and remembered how i used to only listen to it for days in the summer. quite funny that the artist runs around in my mutual circles. quite funny but also kinda scary lmao.

Ancestry — Lena Raine. the minecraft OST is an all-time classic, imo. this one however is special to me, because i typically listen to it when i am feeling very bad… and because i have not been doing so well, both physically and mentally, i listened to it on repeat a few times the last week alone.

There Must Be More Than Blood — Car Seat Headrest. i am not the biggest fan of that album, i think the older CSH albums are much better, but this specific song did stick with me. i really like the part starting at around 5:15 minutes in, and have been imagining some ocs with it. you know how it is, animatics in my head and all the good stuff.

Just — Radiohead. i have been listening to a lot of Radiohead albums, especially the ones they made in the 90s/early 00s. picked this specific song because i really like the rising guitar thing they do (that i'm pretty sure has a name, but i cannot remember it right now lmao).

rare animal — glass beach. gleach :3 big fan of glass beach and especially rare animal, i think i listened to it about 400 times this year alone. also i just really wanted to have them on this list somewhere, even if only as an honourable mention.

and that's it with this comprehensive list! i originally wanted to include Sweet Pill too, but i only found them today and don't really have a clear favourite yet lmao.

tagging… @ugneet143, @navigatorbree and everyone else who wants to! no pressure, etc etc, you know the drill already.

p.s. thanks again for the tag wasp :]

[akira1509]

Sharing my city pop playlist so you can find more city pop songs beside Plastic Love and Stay with me ✨✨

You have listened to Plastic Love and Stay with me once right? And you think you like these songs and want to know other songs that share the same genre? This small list might be for you :D I actually don't listen to a lot of city pop songs, it's more like I listen to different songs from one artist. So any recommendations are welcome 💖

First one it's KU-RU-KU-RU Cruller from Aqours! It is quite rare for a Love Live! song to follow this genre right? This song is really catchy, with encouraging lyrics and really cute choreography. This is also the song which made me realize I have already been in love with city pop. The song is one of my recommendations if you are new to Aqours and want to listen to something fun!

The second song is a cover of Kimitachi Kiwi, Papaya, Mango da ne (Nakahara Meiko) from Furihata Ai - one of my favourite Aqour seiyuus (I love all of them haha). Both the original version and Furi's cover are so good that I had to listen to them on loop for a while. Imma leave the Eng translation of the song I've found for those who are interested in the lyrics!

ENG Translation

Another song from Furi is her original song - Purple Eyeshadow. I was wondering which song to choose, but Purple Eyeshadow is more catchy to me, so I decided to put it here. You can check more of Furi's song on her Youtube channel! About the lyrics of the song...I'll leave you searching for yourselves then ;)

Next is a pretty old song from 1984, AIRPORT LADY, sung by Kadomatsu Toshiki. People said that they liked the retake version of the song in 1993 but I find the original version more appealing to me :D

Time to go back to the year of 1983, when Magical Angel Creamy Mami was still on air! And the OP and the ED of the anime, Delicate ni Suki shite and Love Sagerinaku are the songs I want to introduce to you guys today :D While Delicate ni Suki shite sounds so dreamy, Love Sagerinaku has more sexiness in it, but I am more biased toward Delicate ni Suki shite because it was the song I remembered most when I was 5 years old, and the chorus of the song just hits me real hard :') That's right, a girl's heart Can float a moon-shaped little board in the starry sky It can even, search for her own dreams too And when she falls in love, she delicately Falls in love, falls in love, fall in love.

Also check out the anime too if you can, it's awesome <3

City pop originates from Japan, you guys all know that, right? But what if we have city pop sung in Korean? :D Now let me introduce you to a gem in K-Pop music (in my heart, of course) whose name is YUKIKA ! She is a Japanese, who went to Korea and started her singing career there. It seems that one of her songs, SOUL LADY had become a big hit and inspired some K-Pop artists to try out city pop too! I personally like SOUL LADY the most in every song she has released. The choreography, the catchy beat, the lyrics, the MV, everything is literally perfect 💖 The song tells a story of a girl, who was so overwhelmed by the hustle and bustle of Seoul, has become so confident walking on her own road, as if she is truly the "Seoul lady".

To end this, I will write down here the part which I find so meaningful in SOUL LADY chorus:

I am now a SOUL LADY (Seoul Lady) Giving off that feeling I guess you can tell, I've been studying hard. It blends into my smile It'll be addicting Even the way I talk sounds natural now Such a SOUL LADY (Seoul Lady) Giving off that vibe I guess you can see, I've been studying hard. Confident and mesmerizing This Seoul lady that I am Is so pretty

[helpleas]

Today was the most lovely of them all

Ok. ok it was crazy. first of all. the weather..... ohhh my god. beautiful. sunny. lovely. there was so much driving and cool breezes and giggling with glee and cute dogs and adventures and yummy snacks.

second of all. i had 2 first period spares which would usually mean i start class at 1:00pm BUT i accepted a slot to tour a family at 8:45 so i was there for that. this was my last tour of the year and i really put my all into it (it lasted AN HOUR) and i think the family actually liked me

while i was doing my tour my friend was sitting in the library and when i stopped in she lifted up her phone which read "do you want to go to tim's after this". im never one to decline a drive anywhere or coffee when i havent had breakfast. i got an apple fritter and a black iced coffee (bliss). BUT while we were there. who did i spot. but people doing fucking geomatics (the program i didnt apply to but got accepted to at waterloo) so we took a silly photo with them. then she drove me back to school and had to go to english :(

BUT she left me with our other friend who had a spare like i did. so since it was such a lovely day we skipped/ran all the way to the beltline and to the tree we discovered a couple weeks ago. sat and listened to music :)

then it was time to help our friends with their promposals. BUT there wasn't enough room in the car for everyone we needed so i climbed in the trunk. turns out i love the trunk. like a rollercoaster ride and fun and cozy and i loved it. also one of the dates hadn't ever been seen in person and was 10x hotter than photos. so amazing.

then when we got back the rest of my friends had spares and went to get boba soo i was totally bummed because i had to go to 3rd period. but when i got to 4th there was a bubble tea waiting for me (eeeeeeeek)

then i had to stay out of the house until after 5. so my friends and i went to sushi (i didnt get any bc im SKINT) so while we were sitting around waiting for a friend to get out of her ap bio exam. this rlly cute guy walked by. and 2/4 of us found him cute... but i was totally not there for that. so blah blah she tried to work up the courage to ask him out and stuff. when she finally did he had JUST walked away. but still cute good times.

so then our ap bio friend was starving and our other friend left so we all went to chipotle so me and ap bio friend could eat (used order ahead with family uber eats... very sneaky) absolutely scrumptious and i love that area of the city

+ the friend driving always rolls the windows down and my friend on aux has sublime music taste so it was just. so much fun

on the way to chipotle the 2 friends in front got the idea to go see challengers. 1 friend had already seen it but was determined to see it 3 times... so that comes up later

here i called my friend and had the funniest fucking conversation because everyone around me could only hear one half (you just woke up... oh no the dogs... chicken sandwiches... well tampon is #1..... no you don't have school tomorrow.... yeah no its next week now.... lucky i called you... the new season is out?!)

then after chipotle we drove down to the theatre and dropped one of us off along the way. and on the way there i rolled down my window to rest my head on it and look out and the wind was just so perfect and i felt so nice and i loved the song that was playing and it was just... yeahhhhhhh

also my friend called me asking to hang out on the way there and i just felt really loved

THEN OBVIOUSLY CHALLENGERS WAS AMAZING AND WHEN SHE GOES TO SEE IT FOR A 3RD TIME IM COMING. ALSO SHE BOUGHT MY TICKET BECAUSE AGAIN TOTALLY SKINT SO YIPPEE THATS A WIN. THANKS TO ALL MOM FRIENDS OUT THERE

then we listened to inhaler on the drive back to my place for some water (specifically these are the days which felt SO fitting). my friend was shuffling her favourite songs and one i showed her came up so. almost cried there. (She's a Jar- Wilco). We had been seeing really cute dogs all day because it was finally nice out enough and we saw the ultimate fluffiest friendliest dog on the drive back.

my step mom happened to arrive at the EXACT. SAME. TIME. and creepily followed us making spooky noises just to freak us out.

after a bit everyone went home but just. ugh. the day was so perfect and wonderful im like high on it. and i had to transcribe the entire thing.

[badass-queer-couples-battle]

Gay wrongs tournament, round one of the losers bracket

Propaganda:

For John and Jack:

So, they both are literal murders. One of them is a little bit more insane than the other. Okay, the little bit part is not right, totally insane that is John, yes. But gonna love him though. He had been in rehab for alcohol, drugs, sex and murder. Don't kiss him, he might be wearing poisoning lipstick. They are canon mlm. They had been stuck in a two week time loop for five years, which was like leading a married life for them. They didn't actually marry, but they were partners, both in business and sexually. They worked together for an time agency. Then Jack's memories of two years were erased and he left. He went into  independent self deployment, doing scams using his knowledge of future events. After that he build an alien hunting institute in Cardiff, Wales. When John and Jack see eachother again after years, you don't know whether they will they kiss or fight. They do both. Did I tell you that along this story Jack became an inmortal who can't stay dead? No matter how or how often he dies or is killed, he keeps coming back to life. This is all very scraping on the surface, but oh boy, would it be at least a novella to describe them.

They worked together in the Time Agency where they did horrible things to the extent where Jack had two years of his memory stolen so that he couldn’t know what he’d done. They were also in a time loop together for five years where they canonically thought of each other as the wife (John was a good wife :3), and were basically married. Then they had a divorce arc and they both separately went rogue from the Agency to become conmen, although they still worked together/clashed on occasions, always still with that spark of passion. “Frenemies with benefits” Jack called them once, although John preferred “my lover, my rival, my nemesis and destiny. And bane of my bloody life.” Canon finds us where Jack has tried to reform and be a better person, but John is still chasing cons, and all he wants to do is bring Jack back to the stars with him, back to the crime and the glitter of the galaxies (it doesn’t work and he shoves Jack off a building but Jack got himself immortal so he’s fine <3) anyway I am very normal about them xoxo

In John's introduction to the series he shows up on a roof where some guy is mugging someone, grabs him by the throat and dangles him over the edge of the building while this guy begs for his life before dropping him just because he felt like it. When John and Jack interact for the first time in the show there's a super cool guitar riff, very evil western vibes, they walk up to each other, look deeply into each other's eyes, make out, then start throwing punches to Blur's Song 2. In one of the audio dramas we're told about various times where these two conned people, stole a bunch of money and gold and gems and stuff, then had sex with whoever it is they conned before (sometimes) killing them. When Jack devided he was done and left John to die John escaped and married the queen of England (Victoria) then locked Jack up somewhere to take his life force and live forever, destroying the timeline in the process. John has tried to kill all of Jack's friends at least twice to have him all to himself. He found Jack's long lost brother and when the brother turned out to be a terrible person with a vendetta against Jack John did everything he could to save Jack. Their relationship is canon but very one-sided most of the time

just this video

For Dina and Ellie:

They do justified murders, but murders none the less. Is it really that bad to kill a few dozen people with your gf if your trying to get revenge in this big horrible world?

Spoilers, but Ellie decided to go on a big old revenge murder spree and Dina was a super supportive girlfriend and went right along with her. The two of them killed A Lot of people together. Admittedly Dina eventually tapped out on the whole revenge murder thing eventually, but I feel like they definitely need to be in this tournament.

[madbalalaika]

Get to know you - tag game

*GASP* I'm honoured, @an-excellent-choice, thank you for the tag :з

✨ Last song you listened to:

THE WHOLE ALBUM IS GOOD GO LISTEN TO IT

(i've been mentioning it every chance i get ever since i first listened to it like 7 years ago, it's just too good :"D)

Edit: fun fact, I kinda had a cool BG3 idea with this song that I'm not sure if I can pull off. I know I do, I think I do, I hope I do~~~

✨ Favourite colour: as an artist, because I stare at colours all the time, there's really too many that I absolutely adore. It's impossible to tell which ones I like best, though what I can say is what's my favourite combination: it's the one on the album cover of this song ⬆

Cold greyish brown or brownish dark grey/slighly dull light blue + very bright light blue/turquoise.

✨ Currently watching: One Piece. Last summer, I suggested my family and I watch it together, and we're still going. Currently on the post-Marineford arc!

✨ Favorite flavour:

Oof, the flavour that a cup of almond hot chocolate has. Also popcorn? I once had a period of only drinking lattes with Monin popcorn syrup, and let me tell you it was GODLY

✨ Current obsession: BG3, no doubt

✨ Last thing I googled:

Vegan nutella :"D I bought this gluten-free dairy-free nutella-ish paste that was... let's say... edible. Bland kinda, and just sweet. So I went out to search for some other brands, and found lots of cool recipes instead. This one, judging by the ingredients, by far seems the most delicious. Too bad I don't have a food processor :")

✨ Favourite season:

Spring/autumn. Gods, anything but hot summer, really, but those 2 are the most ideal.

✨ Skill I’d like to learn:

Some foreign languages that I've already learned some of before, and would just like to reach at least a passable level in: like Chinese, Japanese, Korean, German, and Welsh. I'm really out of practice with those.

Also some ADHD learning/working techniques that would actually work :"), as not being able to keep some sort of routine is the sole reason I've not yet gotten good at those languages and haven't started on different big projects I have only in mind for now.

Maybe I need to buy a clicky fidget toy or something. Oh well, at least I have a clicky keyboard, so that's nice :3

✨ Best Advice:

And I guess this is for the miserable-from-childhood folks like me. REST IS VERY GOOD, PEOPLE. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise, not even yourself. The circuits of a computer that has been overworked and overheated because it's never been allowed to cool off will eventually burn out from all the heat damage they endured, and it will shut the whole machine down.

What rest means for you, you'll have find out for yourself.

I know, for some us (me included), it's nearly impossible not to feel guilty for enjoying the things in life that would otherwise bring us happiness, but if there's one thing I've learned from the past 8-9 years of constant unbearable stress from guilt and self-hatred (and many external factors, yes), as well as many medical diagnoses later, is that your physical body will not only not say thank you for that, but eventually it will actively start dying.

Same goes vice versa: untreated health issues will lead to many mental health problems (example: I've been gluten-intolerant for quite a while and didn't learn that until a year and a half ago, and this whole time, the inflammation in the body was giving my nervous system so much anxiety and depression that I couldn't cope with it anymore), so the moral is

Yes, take care of your body, or at least whenever you have the capacity to and allow yourself to rest when you feel like you're tired, but also enjoy the things that make you happy, be it a delicious dessert, or a good book, or a tv show, or spending time with friends if you have them, whatever. You have all the right to do so because you matter, okay? Your well-being and good health matters, your happiness matters, everything about you matters, and not a single shitbag can change that. If you feel like no one cares for you, know that at least I do!

Also tagging my mutuals, @arczism, @noblestalk, @okthisway, @wrathe, @teilzeiteinhorn ❤

[countlessrealities]

throw my rp blogs' URLs at you and runs away

Send a URL and I'll answer the following || Accepting !

{ for both @hvbris & @imprvdente }

Do I Follow Them? Chloé and I go waaaay back! Damn, how long has it been now? 3 years? Longer? Many seasons in any case x'D We've written a lot together, in several fandoms and verses and every single one has been a delight.

Why Did I Follow Them? If I'm not mistaken, she approached me from Fish blog for...uh, I can't even remember which muse of mine we used first and foremost. I don't think it was Will nor Abigail because I added them later 🤔 Well, in any case, I was presented with this amazingly solid character, written by someone who is so very talented in both writing and arting. I would have been a fool to turn her down! Fish is lovable in all her iterations, even the ones where she's anything but a good person, and she's incredibly versatile, which makes writing with her with basically all the possible characters really easy! Imagine my delight when I found out about the multimuse 😎

Do We Role Play? Do most human beings perceive the sky as blue? xD Duh. I don't dare to count how many threads we have (and yes, Chloé, I know that they aren0t many for your standards, but I travel at a whole different wavelength xD). We use basically all my main muses with plenty of theirs! We've built and discussed a lot of dynamics and each of them has a special place in my heart 🖤

Do I Want To Role Play With Them: Abso-fucking-lutely YEAH! Chloé is one of my mains and a dear friend by now, so I hope that we'll write together for as long as possible. Plus, there are a few interactions we are planning that I'm very eager to explore, so I'm looking forward to when my slow ass will find the time to get them started!

An AU Idea For Our Muses: Oh damn, we're already doing a couple of AUs and I'm kind of drawing a blank on more ideas. Off the top of my head? An AU where my Smith trio has supernatural adventures instead of sci-fi adventures (very much Ghostbuster like, as a vibe, but not limited to ghost) and they have to deal with Salomé in her demon verse or with Vampire Fish?

A Song For Our Muses: "Ticking Bombs" by Eyes Set to Kill for Rick & Fish, "Bring me to Life" by Evanescence for Summer & Salomé :3

Do I Ship Our Muses? YES, and that goes for all our ships, and we have a lot xD On this blog we have Salomé & Summer's high school romance, Bill & Salomé's arranged marriage, Rick & Fish's ex-spouse / current fuck buddies, Morty & Teen FIsh's embarrassing crushes on each other. And then there's a lot of platonic relationships (Bill & Noah, Evil Morty & AISHA, Morty & Fish, Summer & Fish, Mabel & Eve). And there's definitely more to come (special mention for Ivy & Harley 😎). But in any case, Y E S.

What I Think About The Mun: What good things can I not say about Chloé? I've praised her and her skills plenty of times. She's an amazing write, a wonderful mutual, a super talented artist and a great friend. I'm so, so, so glad to have crossed paths with her. Her friendship means a lot to me and she's been there for me when I needed it. Not to mention that they are one of my favourite writing partners, and I love every interaction we have, no matter how small!!🖤🖤

Overall Opinion: I could say a lot, but I'll sum it up like this: if you're not writing with Chloé, you're missing out one of the best RP partners you'll ever find on this hellsit.

Blog Rate: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10+