#37 Seconds Online
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I hate shoes sizing
I bought a pair that in EU size was a 37.5 which according to the conversion was the same size I wear in Mexican or US size. (Although tbh I wear from 36 to 38 depending on the brand).
Well, they’re slightly too small. They fit better if I put on my ankle brace but they’re ballerina shoes so it looks kinda weird. And I mean they do fit anyway without it, but they’re uncomfortable if I wear them for too long, so they’ve been used only for short outings until now (if I didn’t like them too much I could’ve given them to my sister but I’m still unsure).
Anyway for my upcoming birthday, I bought a different pair from the same brand but in 38 (only half a size bigger). And they are huge. Granted, these are sneakers but they are too big anyway. It doesn’t look like half a size, it’s literally like one or two bigger. And they’re so wide, they so look weird and idk if I like them yet.
#I guess it’ll be better with socks and maybe I can fit an insole#but this makes me mad. why can’t the same brand have like. a base#im not sending them back or changing size tho. first because I hate doing all the work for returning items so I never do#and also because well the first pair are used already and I got those discounted so if I wanted to change size they’d have charged me more#for the second pair they dont have it in 37 it’s either 36 or 38+#and like what if the 36 is tiny?? I’d rather use my clown shoes with insoles and be done w it#maybe in winter when I wear 3 pairs of socks#😩😩 this is why I hate online shopping for shoes . those should only be in person#robiin.txt
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Baxter Stockboy has so much potential as an inventor and robot technician!
I think in the future he'll unleash it in something good. Like making tech for resistance!
With Donatello's guidance :)
"Hmmm, I could take you as a temporary assistant in my lab, and then up the career ladder...-"
"YES! I HAVE SO MUCH IDEAS! BLASTERS! GIANT ROBOTS! BOMBS! I CAN PROJECT ANYTHING!"
(i like how he stims :3)
But every job has its cons... Like babysitting CJ because Donnie hates kids and is too busy. (too busy drinking coffee and bully Kraang's offspring online"
"Hey! Turtle man! When you said that you want me to be your assistant that's not what i thought it would be!"
And i think after Donnie's passing he took his place as a general technician of the resistance. (Also, my AU Donnie died at 35-37 y.o. so on these drawings shows us the second general technician in the resistance (yet :]))
#my art#traditional drawing#nail art#sketch#rottmnt#rise of the tmnt#rottmnt donnie#rise donnie#bad future rottmnt#rottmnt Baxter stockboy#baxter#bad future donnie#bad future baxter#small casey#CJ#i adore my Baxter's design#hes so cool!
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please enjoy my emotional breakdown in the tags
#originals#text#genuinely want to kms soooo much because im so fucking stupid and i hate myself so much#wont be able to graduate college bc i cant pass calc 2#i literally took calc 1 5 years ago and they are fully expecting me to not only remember that#but also all of the precalc and trig that i too in high school#im literally 24 i took trig 9 years ago#and i was doing ok#i was 3 points away from having a C- which is what i need to pass the fucking class#and then they put in the grade for our most recent test that we took last week and i somehow did worse on that one than i did on the one#i took while i had covid?????#i got a 40.5 on the first one and a 37 on the second one#and because im stupid and did so fucking bad on the second one my 3 points from passing turned into 10 points away from passing#im literally doing just as bad if not worse than i did last fall when i took this class online and therefore didnt attend#any of the lectures#ive gone to almost every lecture i was able to this time and i took notes and i did the homework and i tried to study and it still#doesnt matter#because im a fucking idiot#i dont know what to do#if i cant graduate in december my f*ther will kill me#not literally but i will be cut off entirely financially#and i wont be able to get any of the jobs ive been applying for because ive been applying with the implication that im going to graduate#and then ill be stuck in this shitty apartment in this fucking town in the state ive never left#and ill have to find a new job that will probably be more difficult and pay less than what i have now because i took this job on contract#im only employed there until january#because i thought id be able to leave this fucking place#it might be better if i just died
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Prompts I’ve seen/found online that I have used an inspiration for many things, but mainly DP X DC stuff.
There’s 200 prompts/quotes in there
1. They match each other’s freak to a degree that is dangerous to the public.
2. People often mistake me for an adult because of my age.
3. “I have a solution.”
“Thank goodness.”
“It involves fire.”
“Absolutely not.”
4. Why are you hiding behind me? What did you do?
5. We can’t have a crisis - my schedule is already full!
6. “What’s our exit strategy?”
“Our what?”
“We’re all going to die.”
7. That is a terrible, horrible, incredibly foolish idea. Let’s do it and see what happens.
8. “This coffee tastes weird.”
“That’s probably because it’s not coffee.”
9. “Can I bother you for a second?”
“You always bother me, but go ahead.”
10. “Are you mad?”
“No.”
“So sharpening knives at 2am is just a hobby?”
11. I’m going to give my inner child a gun.
12. Your inability to learn complicated handshakes is tearing this gang apart.
13. I get so affectionate when I’m sleepy it’s disgusting.
14. Leaving a watermelon on someone’s doorstep in the middle of the night is a pretty inexpensive way to occupy a portion of their mind forever.
15. No offence to myself or anything but what the fuck am I doing.
16. I would love to be mysterious but I never shut the fuck up.
17. The divorce rate amongst my socks is astonishing.
18. Adulthood is a scam I want to be a crow.
19. Good morning! God has let me live another day and I’m about to make it everybody’s problem.
20. My house is haunted because I live there.
21. That’s my emotional support entity of questionable moral standing.
22. God released me into the wild and now he’s hunting me for sport.
23. No, no you don’t want to get to know me, I’m better as a concept.
24. I can’t wait until I’m old enough to pretend I can’t hear.
25. Do birds every just fly for fun or are they always on some kind of mission?
26. The older I get the more I understand why roosters scream to start their day.
27. ‘You’ll understand when you’re older.’ I am older and I understand absolutely nothing.
28. Source? It was revealed to me in a delusion.
29. Why do drugs after 30 when you can just stand up too fast?
30. I won’t ever be the bigger person in an argument. God made me 5’ for a reason.
31. This meeting could have been a fist fight.
32. I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m never going to have a midlife crisis because my entire fucking life is a crisis.
33. Anyone fancy going off the fucking rails with me I’ve had enough.
34. Go ahead and get in the pond since you wanna act like a silly goose.
35. My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and it’s just me laughing at my own jokes.
36. Who the fuck decided to call it ‘emotional baggage’ and not ‘griefcase?’
37. I don’t have a nervous system. I am a nervous system.
38. “What makes us human?”
“Selecting all of the images with traffic lights.”
39. Don’t let anyone else ruin your day. It’s your day. Ruin it yourself.
40. The sixth love language is combat.
41. “I just told you 2 minutes ago.”
“I do not control the remember.”
42. Due to not wanting to. I will not be.
43. My flabbers be gasted daily.
44. “Are you seeing anyone?”
“Like a hallucination, a therapist, or a person?”
45. “You’re the most ridiculous person I’ve ever met.”
“Thank you I try my best.”
46. I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little asshole bit me.
47. I think my dark under eye circles are adding to the aesthetic actually.
48. Being smart has never stopped me from being a complete fucking idiot.
49. Next time I’m opening up to someone will be at my autopsy.
50. Too many songs about love. Not enough song about sword fights.
51. “You’re cute.”
“I’m feral and chaotic, don’t touch me.”
52. I’m not as unhinged as I could be and I want everyone to be great full for that.
53. How dare you know stuff about things.
54. “I have a plan.”
“Is it a good one?”
“I have a plan.”
55. “Are you decent?”
“Not morally, but I’m wearing pants if that’s what you’re asking.”
56. I may have the right to remain silent but I do not have the ability.
57. I don’t want to look ‘pretty.’ I want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening.
58. If you ever feel safe please remember that I’m out there.
59. “I’m too good for revenge.”
“Well I’m not. Give me the gun.”
60. “You know I really feel like we aren’t seeing eye to eye.
“It’s because you’re taller than me asshole.”
61. “They rely on you.”
“I can’t be blamed for their lack of judgment..”
62. Well, aren’t you a little Ray of pitch black.
63. I can get behind murder but I draw the line at misogyny.
64. In my defence your honour, I simply do not vibe with the law.
65. Life is a tornado and I’m just the cow being spun around for cinematic value.
66. You can burn all the sage you want, I’ll be back.
67. I believe in holding grudges. I’ll heal in hell.
68. You know…they make medication for the way you act.
69. I like men with massive, throbbing vocabularies.
70. My swear jar could finance the fucking space program.
71. “Well if you want my opinion-”
“I don’t. I have my own.”
72. I’m awake but not operational.
73. Due to personal reasons I’ll be going back to sleep.
74. The bags under my eyes are Prada.
75. I identify as a threat. My pronouns are try/me.
76. Audacity must be on sale this year…
77. “Have you ever been handcuffed?”
“Sexually or by law enforcement?”
78. I don’t like salad or eye contact.
79. “Come here.”
“Why?”
“Just come here.”
“No you’re gonna hit me!”
80. “I didn’t catch your name.”
“I didn’t throw it.”
81. I have to keep reminding myself that I am an adult and will be charged as one.
82. Apparently ‘spite’ is not an appropriate answer to ‘what motives you?’
83. There is a fine line between my crazy and my intelligence. I use that line like a jump rope.
84. I don’t know where you got your opinion but I hope you kept the receipt.
85. Sometimes when I close my eyes…I can’t see.
86. Is being stupid a profession or are you just gifted?
87. Some days the supply of available curse words is insufficient to meet my demands.
88. I’m running out of reasons to not stab you.
89. When I said ‘how stupid can you be?’ It wasn’t a challenge.
90. Love at first sight? Tired, boring. Love at first assassination attempt? Spicy.
91. I’m sorry I don’t take orders. I barley take suggestions.
92. And that’s a wrap on another day where I acted like I knew what I was doing.
93. Now if you’ll excuse me…tonight’s bad decision isn’t going to make itself.
94. I take super hot showers to practice burning in hell.
95. I wanna be 14 again and ruin my life differently. I have new ideas.
96. Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.
97. Being an adult is the dumbest thing I’ve ever done.
98. If I’m ever murdered, feel comfort in knowing I ran my mouth until the bitter end.
99. My spirit animal would fucking eat yours.
100. Some people will only like you if you fit inside their box. Don’t be afraid to shove that box up their ass.
101. I wonder if people look both ways before getting on my fucking nerves.
102. If I was a bird, I know who I’d shit on.
103. Giving a fuck doesn’t really go with my outfit.
104. I’m not insulting you, I’m describing you.
105. Life is full of disappointments and I just added you to the list.
106. And then I decided to take a detour to deliver an ass beating.
107. I wanna contribute to the chaos.
108. I’m gay and also stronger than all of you. So don’t try any shit.
109. With all due respect, which is none
110. What, pray tell, the fuck?
111. My arson charges don’t define me.
112. Those are bold words for someone in stabbing range.
113. I don’t understand your specific kind of crazy but I do admire your total commitment to it.
114. I am not above slashing my own tires to avoid going to this family brunch.
115. I don’t want to heal my inner child I want them to get revenge.
116. In order to insult me I must first value your opinion. Nice try though.
117. There’s someone for everyone and the person for you is a psychiatrist.
118. Keep rolling your eyes, maybe you’ll find a brain back there.
119. I think my guardian angel drinks.
120. In my defence, I was left unsupervised.
121. I believe in you. I also believe in Bigfoot so don’t get too excited.
122. If you figure me out I want an explanation.
123. I don’t think I meet the height requirements to ride your emotional roller coaster.
124. When killing them with kindness doesn’t work, try voodoo.
125. Another fine day ruined by responsibility.
126. You call them swear words. I call them sentence enhancers.
127. Stop petting my peeves.
128. What a year this week has been.
129. Don’t follow me I don’t know where I’m going.
130. Due to unfortunate circumstances, I am awake.
131. I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
132. Please don’t interrupt me while I’m ignoring you.
133. Everyone has the right to be stupid but you’re abusing the privilege.
134. I just know I will die trying to pet something I shouldn’t.
135. At this point, if a clown invited me into the woods, I’d just go.
136. I told him to take care of his eyes because they’re the only balls he has.
137. The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.
138. My last words will probably be sarcastic.
139. We don’t have time to unpack all that.
140. I may have committed light treason.
141. How is ‘pretty boy’ supposed to be an insult? I’m the prettiest goddamn boy in this town.
142. I’m not interested in being polite or heterosexual.
143. “Based on statistical evidence, I’m immortal.”
“How so?”
“Haven’t died yet.”
144. I’m just here to establish an alibi.
145. Take the day off from being the bigger person and choose violence, you deserve it.
146. Forgive and forget? I’m neither Jesus nor do I have alzheimers.
147. People are so ungrateful. No one ever thanks me for having the patience to not kill them.
148. “I can see your bra.”
“Fucking good it was expensive.”
149. Sir, that’s my emotional support knife collection.
150. My idea of ‘help from above’ is a sniper on the roof.
151. “We’re surrounded!”
“Excellent, we can attack in any direction!
152. Lord give me patience or an untractable handgun.
153. Step back! I’m a professional idiot!
154. “Trust your gut.”
“I have anxiety. My gut is always telling me to abort mission.”
155. Keep your morals away from me.
156. Your existence gives me a headache go stand over there.
157. What, from the bottom of my heart, the fuck?
158. My heart is not a home for cowards.
159. Underestimate me so I can embarrass you.
160. “It’ll be easy. You just have to seduce them.”
“You’re kidding, right? I’m about as seductive as a cabbage.”
161. You’ve got heart, kid. Several hearts. Honestly, I’m a little scared of you.
162. It takes a very special kind of idiot to pull off what you just did.
163. I’m no doctor - but I think he’s dead.
164. I love you. You enormously stubborn pain in the ass.
165. “What brings you here?”
“A continuum of terrible choices.”
“You’d be surprised to know how often people say that.”
166. “I thought we agreed to tell each other when we were bleeding internally.”
“That’s a very specific promise I don’t remember making.”
167. “Did you really google how to flirt with a girl?”
“What? How’d you know that?”
“You do realise there’s a search history?”
168. “I’m gonna…”
“If you kick down the door, I swear…”
“I’M GONNA PUNCH IT WITH MY FOOT!”
169. “Is it still murder if I give them a heads up?”
“That’s a threat.”
“Damn.”
170. Surprise! I’m back from the dead! Isn’t that exciting?
171. Don’t mind me, I’ll just be in the corner, having another existential crisis.
172. I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.
173. You’re important to me you piece of shit.
174. “Why are your hands purple?”
“That’s a very good question.”
175. Can someone turn off the sun please?
176. “I had a thought.”
“Oh no.”
“I swear it’s a good one this time!”
177. I’ve met bread smarter than you.
178. “Please stop getting shot, it stresses me out.”
“Oh, well if YOU don’t like it.”
179. Dude, we are not asking the dragon for directions.
180. You’ve got as much charm as a dead slug.
181. For you, I could steal the stars - but I can also get them through legitimate means, if that impresses you more.
182. I am under no obligation to make sense to you.
183. You smile like an idiot when you’re talking to them.
184. Don’t you sign to me in that tone.
185. Excuse me. I have to go make a scene.
186. “Shut up.”
“I didn’t say anything.”
“Don’t care. Shut up.”
187. Now that I made it weird, I’m going to make my exit.
188. So uh, I noticed you’re kinda naked. Is that intentional or…?
189. “Do you trust me?”
“No.”
“Smart man.”
190. Well, if you’d woken up properly the first time I kicked you, I wouldn’t have had to do it four more times.
191. “I have NEVER been so insulted.”
“You don’t listen much, do you?”
192. “Don’t you know who I am?”
“Yup. I just don’t care.”
193. I didn’t really know what I was getting myself into. I just thought it would be amusing.
194. I would tell you to be yourself but that almost got us killed last time.
195. “Why aren’t you worshipping me, mortal?”
“Not interested. Thanks.”
196. “I’d rather be dead.”
“Then I have some good news for you.”
197. “Did you hear that scream?”
“Yes, I’m the one who screamed.”
198. “What happened to your-”
“I lost a bet.”
“Why-”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
199. Reading way above my grade level didn’t get me as far in life as I had hoped.
200. Due to foreseen circumstances well within my control I will be late.
#writing prompts#prompts#I found a lot of these online so I’m not 100% sure of many of their sources#dp x dc#dc x dp#dpxdc#dcxdp
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The Awardist - Nicholas Galitzine & Taylor Zakhar Perez
I have to write down the best bits and record my thoughts while listening to this because I am completely losing my mind over what is our first real interview with the boys that was recorded in real time.
27:55 - right off the bat we got a great inside joke/reference from the host that had me cackle
28:19 - taylor being happy to see their faces and nicholas immediately shutting him down like "well i'm not happy to see taylor's face"
28:40 - taylor joking about putting a post-in note over nick's face lmfao
29:30 - the way they don't want to talk over each other, it's giving alex's bedroom flashbacks
29:40 - nick being like "oh! oh, it's good!" when dipping into the online response when the movie released lmfao 😆
30:33 - the silence following the social media question where they were apparently nodding followed by taylor saying they were texting each other like "mate" "mate" back and forth
31:20 - THEY TALKED ABOUT THE SIGNING WARS
31:44 - nicholas calling taylor "this little fucker" had me dying cause me and @meraki-yao were literally referring to him as that in our conversation on ig yesterday
32:00 - nicholas genuinely asking taylor "what possessed you to do this?"; it's giving storage closet in the children's hospital vibes when henry's like "why do you dislike me?"
33:04 - "take it nick" immediately upon being asked the dense question regarding fans reacting to their portrayals of henry and alex, and the way that nicholas laughs and stutters makes me think that taylor totally did that on purpose to mess with him lmfao
34:00 - taylor stopping to talk to fans regardless of where he is or where he's going and specfically mentioning how meaningful it was that people have said *TW* they were contemplating suicide when they read the book/watched the movie and that it helped them 🥺
35:40 - the host referred to the film as "a coming out story", which i don't really agree with as a label because the coming out portion is an added piece of their relationship as two public figures, but their love is the actual story
36:40 - nicholas referring to the film as "wholesome and funny" made me smile so much because it truly is wholesome
37:18 - not the host making the "top to bottom" joke 😭
37:58 - nicholas and taylor have talked about their friendship with each other and how they instantly clicked; nick knew within a few minutes of rehearsal that taylor was "his buddy" 🥺
38:41 - catch me squaring up with everyone who has made nicholas self conscious and self deprecating about doing so much intimacy work on the screen that he refers to it as "basically his thing" like that's all he's recognized for; i am so ready to punch some motherfuckers 😡
39:10 - "it's so fun now, seeing my mate at all these awards and stuff"; catch me fucking crying
39:24 - not taylor misremembering the "nicholas or joey" question as "who was the better kisser"; he totally combined the "is nicholas a good kisser" question with the "who has your heart tonight" question
40:05 - taylor talking about matthew's background in theatre and how they got to actually rehearse with each other; i will never stop being insanely grateful that matthew is a theatre guy
40:55 - the way i said "oh my god" out loud because i was so excited by the question
41:14 - improvised the "physicality" of the store room; i.e. they just fell on top of each other and clamored around 😂
41:32 - the way i literally gasped so hard that i started coughing when nicholas called taylor "tay", i am not even fucking joking, that was so fucking cute 😭
43:42 - fucking wheezed upon realizing where the question going
44:02 - the knowing way taylor was like "i will take this one" lmfao
45:10 - not me going so red from second hand embarrassment 🫣
45:44 - taylor bringing the jockstrap that nicholas wears in bottoms, and nicholas immediately adding "i won't even go into mary & george" 😂
47:51 - taylor finishing nicholas' sentence about matthew's direction for the cake scene; sharing a braincell lol
48:36 - taylor's dog passed away the night of the first day of filming like wow, that fucking sucks 🥺😭
49:05 - "everyone's looking at me with these sad eyes" made me so sad but then taylor said "do you want some tea?" in a terrible british accent lmfao
49:50 - nicholas complimenting and boosting taylor's performance while having such a hard time emotionally 🥺
50:49 - taylor bringing up running through the museum; i can hear the smile in his voice while talking about it 😭
51:28 - they filmed the kensington palace fight and the red room the week after nicholas got covid
52:40 - oh my god, the way you can hear nick grinning as he throws taylor under the bus for the sequel question 😂
53:30 - taylor wants a second book to base the sequel off of
54:03 - taylor used they/them pronouns for casey!! see? he knows, it was totally nerves
55:20 - it felt like it was over too soon, i desperately need more of them PLEASE 😭
This is the greatest thing that's happened in like, a month for me lmfao I am literally begging for more people to interview the boys about RWRB, I am so fucking desperate for more content of the two of them together. They are everything to me 🥺
Thanks for reading!! If you enjoyed this essay & would like to support me, you can give me a tip on my Ko-Fi! ☺️
#red white and royal blue#rwrb#rwrb movie#matthew lópez#rwrb book#casey mcquiston#rwrb interview#alex claremont-diaz#taylor zakhar perez#henry hanover-stuart fox#henry fox mountchristen-windsor#nicholas galitzine#firstprince#spotify#the awardist
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i wanna ruin our friendship
summary: James “Bucky” Barnes is a famous actor who just turned 40. He’s getting old and struggling with the fact that he isn’t what he used to be. When he finally opens up to you about how he’s struggling with body image, you assure him in a very unexpected way. Things take a turn after that point.
pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader (Celebrity Bucky Barnes x Actress Reader)
word count: 4.1K
warnings: 18+ NSFW MINORS DNI, long period of friendship, unspoken feelings, minor jealousy, alcohol consumption, body image struggles (Bucky is just struggling because of Hollywood’s unrealistic body standards), fear of aging and losing who you are, misunderstandings, pet names, slight dirty talk and praising if you squint, no use of a condom (the reader is on birth control), Bucky is 40 while the reader is 37, no use of y/n.
a/n: I was reading one of Sebastian’s old interviews where he mentions body dysmorphia and how it affects him. It inspired me to write this story. I hope you like it.
The story is beta-read by my dear @notafunkiller. Thank you so much!
All work is mine, please do not repost or translate without my permission. Every like, comment and reblog is highly appreciated.
The after-party is buzzing with energy. The room is crowded with so many familiar faces, you can’t even start naming everyone even if you tried. Sometimes you wonder how you ended up in a place like this, then you remember that you are an actress, too. It feels surreal because you were planning to stay a theater actress until you found your big break unexpectedly on the big screen.
That’s actually how you met James Barnes, your first on-screen partner. That’s how everyone called him, but you and a few close friends were always calling him Bucky. It makes you feel special. You look at him and see how he’s talking to Natasha Romanoff, his current partner. They are taking pictures together. You are sure it is meant to be shared by Natasha on her Instagram.
You find yourself walking towards the bar and ordering another drink. You usually don’t drink too much, trying to stay sober but having fun. It’s a thin line, but you managed to keep the balance so far. That gives paps less tea to share online. Tonight feels a bit different and you know it’s because of Bucky and Natasha. They are the perfect couple and you can’t help but feel jealous. Even though you have no right because Bucky is just a friend.
A hundred chit-chats later, you see Bucky in the corner of the crowded room. He seems down for some reason, you can always tell by the look on his face. He’s good at concealing how he feels. It’s almost like a poker face, but his eyes and his posture always give it away. Slowly, you walk towards him and he notices you right before you sit next to him.
“Hey, handsome. Why are you crying into your beer?”
“I’m not.” His answer is instant and you don’t buy it.
“Come on. I know you better than that. One minute you were happy, enjoying yourself, and now look at you: you're sulking in the corner. Something must have happened.”
He sighs. “I don’t wanna talk about it.”
“You know you can talk to me about anything, right?”
You think he maybe had a problem with Natasha and she isn’t around right now. Which is rare. Even though everybody’s attention is on her, she’s always around Bucky. You think it’s because of the unlabeled thing they have going on since they started working together. You never dared to ask if they are together or not. You aren’t ready for that answer yet.
“I know, doll. You are my best friend, but I just…” He stops for a second to think how he’s going to say this. “I don’t feel like myself.”
“What does that mean?” You ask with a frown.
“I’m not who I used to be.”
“Bucky, what are you talking about?”
He takes a deep breath. “I don’t feel like I’m that handsome talented guy I used to be, okay? I feel ugly and…” He looks down at his body. “Fat.”
“Oh, come on!”
“That’s the truth.”
“You are being ridiculous.”
“I’m not and I’m not the only one who thinks so.”
Oh. He must have read something.
“Please don’t tell me you looked at the comments again.”
“I… did.” He accepts with a defeated tone.
“We talked about this before. You should never do that.” Your tone reminds him of a teacher scolding their student and it makes him smile so slightly, but you don’t see it.
“I didn’t do it on purpose, darling. Natasha shared a photo of us together and I just went to like it.”
Oh.
“And you saw some comments?”
“Yeah. Saying that I’m getting older and uglier. I know I’m not a young man anymore but I’m just 40. Not dead yet, you know?”
“Yeah, of course not.” You take a huge sip from your drink.
“But they don’t think so and I started to notice maybe they are right.”
“Come on, Bucky!”
“I look in the mirror and every day I feel like I see a stranger, not myself. Since I stopped acting in those action movies, I’m not working out and dieting as hard as I used to and it’s so fucking visible. My reflection blinks at me in the mirror. Then I look around to see I’m alone. I’m old and alone. I missed my chance at happiness. I’m lucky if I can find someone to fuck me for the night.”
“I would fuck you, in a heartbeat.” The words just fly out from your lips and you can immediately see their effect on Bucky’s face.
“You would?” His expression seems completely different now.
“Yes… I would.” It’s too late to back down. Your long secret of having a huge crush on Bucky Barnes is basically exposed.
Without saying a word, Bucky takes your hand and drags you out of the after-party without saying goodbye to anyone. You have no idea where you are headed. In a matter of seconds, you find yourself in a cab with Bucky Barnes as he simply gives his house address and says nothing more.
The ride is short and silent. He doesn’t even look in your direction, his eyes are fixed on the road. You are regretting everything. Even the decision to come to this after-party. What were you thinking when you decided to take another drink because you saw Bucky and Natasha taking selfies? Where was your mind when you said you'd fuck him in a heartbeat? He must be so shocked. He's probably planning to talk to you in private, for your friendship’s sake.
I fucking ruined our friendship, you think.
When the cab ride is over, Bucky pays the driver and holds the door open for you. You are glad to see he’s still a gentleman towards you, even after you said something completely stupid. I should’ve kept my mouth shut, just like I did for years.
Finally, when you step inside his place, Bucky closes the door and pushes you against the wall with a kiss. It’s so unexpected, your breath hitches. His lips are relentless, moving between your lips, your cheek, and your neck. You try to breathe, but it doesn’t feel real.
“I can’t believe we are doing this,” he says between kisses.
You can’t either. You were expecting a serious talk. Not this.
“We shouldn’t do this.” You suddenly say when you remember Natasha. You didn’t even realize you left her behind when you two left the party so suddenly.
Bucky stops kissing you and looks at you with complete confusion. “I’m sorry… I shouldn’t have assumed. Was that… a pity comment?”
Now it’s your turn to feel confused. A pity comment? You pity yourself for exposing your crush, but definitely no pity for him. No way in hell.
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“You said we shouldn’t do this.”
“Because you are with Natasha and we left her at the party! This is wrong, Bucky. As much as I want to… we shouldn’t.”
“Natasha?”
“Yeah, Natasha.”
“What does Natasha have to do with this?” You can sense the confusion in his voice. It’s like he has no idea what you mean but… it makes no sense.
“She’s just so nice and pretty. No wonder you two got paired together.” You don’t even notice you didn’t answer this question.
“You think I’m pretty, too?”
You roll your eyes. “Everyone in their right mind could see you're pretty. Why are you even asking?"
"I am asking you, not everyone, doll." And there it is again. That damn nickname. Doll. You love and hate to hear him call you that. It’s warming your insides up until you remember he calls other girls doll, too. Especially Natasha.
"Stop with the nickname.” You finally say with a pained voice. This whole night is a huge mistake and you will be the one who gets hurt most. You can feel that the friendship you have with Bucky is slipping through your fingers already, so there’s no point in holding back now. “Of course you're pretty: the best eyes, fluffy hair. Tall. Looking good in suits. Two beautiful people."
“She’s just my partner and a good friend, darling. Nothing more.”
“But… but…” You stammer. “You are always together. She never leaves your side.”
“It’s because we are friends and I am helping her out.”
“Helping her out?” You repeat with confusion.
“She gets so much unwanted attention, she uses me as a shield, so less people would come up to her and talk.”
Oh.
It makes perfect sense and Bucky is always a gentleman.
“You thought we were together?”
“Yeah… kinda…”
Bucky moves closer to you and puts his hands on your face. “Doll…” Then he remembers what you said about the nickname. “Sorry. I never realized you didn’t like this nickname. I won’t use it anymore.”
His touch is so comforting and you feel relieved that there’s nothing going on between Bucky and Natasha.
“It’s not that I don’t like it.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“I just… remember that you use that nickname all the time. It just doesn’t… feel special.”
“Darling, have you ever heard me calling someone else doll?”
His question makes you stop for a second. You actually never did. You just assumed he would be calling other girls doll as well because of the way he says it… It’s just so sexy.
“I… didn’t.” You struggle to answer through your confusion.
“Because I don’t call anyone doll. Except you.”
You can’t find words to respond, it feels like your mind completely stopped working. All you can think is how unbelievable all this is.
“Just me?” You repeat, trying to collect your thoughts.
“Just you.” He says reassuringly. “Can I keep calling you that?”
“Yes. Yes, you can.”
His hand slowly moves to your neck. It makes it even harder to think straight.
“Can I go back to kissing you?” His voice is deeper somehow.
You gulp first. Then nod. Your response makes him smile and it warms you up.
You imagined this moment many times, then put that image into the back of your mind just to keep going. Right now, his lips on yours are real. Not a dream, not a fantasy, and it feels so much better.
The way his lips move fires something inside you. Something you tried to surpass and forget, but that never happened. Whenever you felt his touch, even something as simple as hands brushing, you felt that fire inside you and now it's back. Stronger than ever.
Finally, your hands move to his face, cupping it as he kisses you with passion. Now both of you know that this has nothing to do with pity or self-assurance. That gives you the confidence you need.
Your fingers move towards his shoulders as you put your hands inside his jacket and push it back. It surprises him, but he doesn’t resist, just letting the jacket fall to the ground. Then your fingers travel to his shirt. The first button is open but the rest… You start to unbutton them one by one. Then suddenly you found yourself turned around and pressed against the cold wall. His lips are on the back of your neck and his fingers are looking for the zipper. You smile to yourself when you realize you aren’t the only desperate one here.
“It’s not on the back.” He can hear the smile in your voice even though he can’t see your face.
“Where is it?” He sounds frustrated and it’s so adorable.
“On the side.”
His hands quickly move to your side and find the zipper. In a second, you are already unzipped and your dress is pooled around your ankles. You give it a soft kick and get rid of the dress while you go back to unbuttoning this shirt.
You look up at him to see that he’s watching you undress him. There’s a slight smile on his face. You smile back in response and go back to unbuttoning him. When your work is done, he takes the shirt off himself and just tosses it on the floor. It doesn’t take him long to get rid of your bra. He unclips it so quickly, it surprises you. Everything's happening so fast that you feel like you're swimming. Like this is a dream. You grab his face and give him another kiss to remind yourself this is your reality right now. That you are free to touch him however you want. Your kiss takes a low moan out of him as his fingers travel down to your body, toying with the waistband of your underwear.
“No teasing.” You whisper against his ear and you see how your voice affects him up close. “This time.” You add and that slight smile is back on his lips.
“Are you promising me a next time already?” His voice is so low, so different you barely recognize it. He’s lost in the lust, because of you, and you can’t believe it.
“I mean… Maybe.” You sheepishly smile. You already know you want a second and a third time. He doesn’t have to know that, yet.
“Hmm… Depends on my performance, huh?” Before you can say anything he pushes his fingers under your last remaining clothes and you feel his finger brushing against your clitoris. A low moan escapes your lips.
Between him touching your clit and you finding yourself on your back on his couch is a complete blur. You don’t know how you ended up completely naked and Bucky between your legs as holding on to your dear life. His lips are on your pussy, licking and touching, driving you crazy. He definitely knows how to use his tongue and fingers. Even though his fingers aren’t inside you, his touches are skillful. Not too harsh, not too soft. Just the perfect amount of pressure. Then he sucks on your clit and you let out a half painful moan.
“Are you okay?” He lets go of your clit and looks at you concerned.
“No sucking on the clit please. Not that you aren’t good at it.” You feel nervous suddenly. “It just hurts. Personal preference.”
He smiles. “Noted.” And goes back to licking you. Soon the pain is long forgotten.
It feels like he’s everywhere on the most sensitive part of your body. It’s either his lips, his tongue, his nose or simply his fingers but the pleasure is overwhelming. Soon you find yourself moaning his name out loud while coming hard against his tongue.
He gives you a couple of minutes but doesn’t move at all. Instead, he pushes his fingers inside you when he decides you are finally back to yourself. When you feel one finger delicately pushing inside you, you raise yourself on the elbows.
“I said no teasing.”
“This isn’t teasing, doll.” He looks straight into your eyes. “This is me making sure you are ready for what I am gonna do to you next.”
“What are you going to do to me?” You ask breathlessly.
“Whatever you wanna do, baby, and I feel like you want to get fucked hard.” He stops for a second to read your expression. “Am I wrong?”
His question catches you off guard. He is talking so openly and directly, you feel a little shy. You are not used to voice your needs this openly, yet that’s one the biggest problems you had in the past. Partners not communicating open enough and assuming things. He’s doing what you actually need to do. He’s communicating openly and it’s extremely hot.
You nod first. Then you find your voice again. “Yes. I do want that.” He smiles again. That damned smile makes you even wetter. “But how do you know that?”
“The way you kiss me, push your hips up while I play with you and your hungry look. You look like you wanna eat me up.”
You surpass shyness with a breath. “Yes, I want that too.”
“Next time. It’s my turn now.” He winks at you and goes back to fingering.
He starts with one finger. Soon second and third follow and you are back on the clouds. You can’t even recognize your own voice, moaning his name. The pleasure takes over you, your back aches and you come hard on his fingers. It’s your second orgasm yet you still crave for more. You crave his warmth, his passion and the pleasure his cock can give you. You find it strange feeling this hungry after two orgasms but you welcome it anyway.
He moves up, directly kisses you without drying his mouth. His lips are hungry and demanding. His erection is hanging between you two and you can feel how hard he is.
“Can you taste yourself on my lips?” He asks shamelessly after breaking the kiss.
“Yes.”
“How does it feel?”
You say the first things that come to your mind with no filter. “Dirty and hot.”
“Hmm… Good.” He keeps kissing you, his fingers are still in your pussy, slowly moving his fingers between your folds and feeling your wetness all over again. It feels like he enjoys how wet you are for him. Not just enjoying but relishing.
“This is teasing.” You state between his kisses.
“Is it?” His fingers stop like he didn’t know that already. “I just love how responsive you are.”
“And I wanna feel your cock inside me already.”
Your bluntness doesn’t only surprise him, but you as well. You have no idea when you finally let go of your shyness. Maybe between the first and the second orgasm. You don’t care anymore. You really need him inside you.
“How do you want it, baby?”
“Let me show you.” You move away from him and miss his warmth instantly, but it’s for a good cause. You turn around and position yourself on your hands and knees. He understands what you want instantly.
“Hmm… You really want it hard.” He sounds amused. His fingers go back to your folds, moving up and down. “Just making sure you are ready.”
“I am dripping already, Bucky. How much more ready can I get?”
You hear him laugh, but before you can say anything about it, you feel his cock right on your entrance.
“Tell me if it hurts.” He says before pushing inside.
His cock stretches you out so deliciously. There’s absolutely no pain at all. The preparation is paying off amazingly. The only thing you are feeling is the fullness you have been craving for so long, but you need more.
“Please move, baby.”
It's the first time you use a pet name and you do it without thinking about it but the way you say it affects him deeply. He tries to surpass the loud moan which was about to slip and you notice his struggle.
“Don’t hide your moans from me. I wanna hear them.”
You imagined this moment for a long time. You spent hours imagining how he would talk, moan and come. You are so close to getting what you want and you have no intention to give up on it. Not even shyness can stop you from getting what you want.
“Then let’s make a deal.” He says, sounding breathless inside you. “None of us will try to hide their reactions. It’s only fair.”
“Deal.” You say eagerly and he chuckles. Then without saying anything else he starts to move inside you.
First, it’s slow. Not painfully slow but still not as hard as you want. Yet you don’t say anything because you know this isn’t only for you. He’s trying to get used to feeling you around his cock. It seems overwhelming especially when he stops hiding his reaction. Low moans and curses spill from his lips. You say nothing, just enjoy the moment.
“Fuck.” This time he’s speaking louder than before. “You feel amazing around my cock, darling. So… so amazing.”
Your only reaction is moaning. The praise goes straight to your pussy. You wanna slam yourself against his cock and force him to move faster.
“So eager for me. If I knew you wanted me this bad, we wouldn’t have to wait this long to fuck each other.”
“It’s not like you made it obvious that you want me either.”
“Forgive me for not thinking so highly of myself.”
The weight of his words crushes you.
“Look at me.” You say turning your head back and find him looking directly at you. “You are all I ever wanted.” His expression changes. A wave of emotions waves over him. You feel he’s on the verge of getting emotional. “Now fuck me hard so we can finally experience what this feels like.” He smiles, but you can still see the emotions behind his eyes.
“Your wish is my command, baby.”
From this moment, he is relentless. It’s fast and hard. The room is filled with the noise of skin slamming against skin, your wetness on his cock and your joint moans. It feels good. So fucking good that it doesn’t feel real. You can feel the pleasure bottling up. He’s moving back and forth with long strokes. His cock never leaves you. He pulls himself back until only the tip remains inside you and slams back in. The moans that leave your lips aren't human anymore. You feel desperate to reach that high again.
“Please.” You beg suddenly. “Please… I’m so… close.”
“Harder or faster?” His voice is hoarse, showing you how close he is to losing control.
“Faster.” You manage to say between moans. It’s so hard to even say one word out loud.
“I’m gonna come too.” And right then he notices that he didn’t put on a condom. “Fuck.” He sounds so disappointed.
“What?”
“We forgot the condom.” He slows down.
“Keep going. I’m on birth control.”
“Thank god!” You can’t help but smile before he picks up the pace again. In a second, both of you are a moaning mess. You come hard, so hard that you feel your muscles cramping with the force of it. Your whole body is electrified, you can feel it even on your toes. The noises you make push him over the edge. He starts to move faster and when you think your high is about to end, a new level opens up. Your mind stops working while your body turns jelly under him.
He isn’t any different than you. His loud moans, and his desperate pace show how much he is enjoying it, but you are too lost in your own pleasure to notice.
When you both drop your bodies on the couch, neither of you find the words.
“Wow.” That's all you can say.
“Wow indeed.”
You turn your face and look at him. He seems completely blissed out.
“We should’ve done this waaay before.” You smile hearing his words.
“You could’ve made a move, but you were too busy pitying yourself.”
The words come out without you considering what you are saying and it doesn’t take long for you to regret them. It isn’t the time or place to talk about this.
“I wanted to ruin our friendship for a long time, doll, but I was afraid. I was scared that I would ruin it for real and you wouldn’t wanna see me again. I was just fine being your good friend. It was a better alternative than losing you completely.”
You know what he means too well. That’s how you felt since the moment you met Bucky. He is such an amazing person, you didn’t want to lose him. Even if it means you have to witness him being happy with other people.
“That’s how I felt too, but look at you. Who can say no to you?”
His smile is bitter. You sense he doesn’t believe you even without him opening his mouth.
“Come on. That is the afterglow speaking.”
You move your head up and get support from your left hand.
“Look at me, Bucky.” He does and you see that he really doesn’t believe you. “You are gorgeous. Inside and out.”
“I know I am not what I used to be.”
“And that’s fine.” You quickly add. “You might not be Men’s Health cover material anymore, but guess what? It’s less healthy trying to keep that shape. Don’t let the name fool you. You don’t need six packs and huge biceps to look attractive. You need to be healthy so I can keep fucking you.”
Your last sentence makes him smile sincerely.
“You really believe that?”
“I do and honestly I have never been a six pack girl. You are even more attractive like this to me. A bit older and experienced. Just my type.”
“Hmm…” He says before kissing you deeply. You lose yourself in that kiss. So when he breaks it and asks you out, you are caught off guard.
“Huh?”
“I said: does it mean you will let me take you on a date?”
A date? With Bucky Barnes?
“Oh, yes. Anything you want.”
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes au#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes fanfiction#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#celebrity!bucky barnes#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes one shot#bucky barnes x oc#natasha romanoff#marvel x reader#sebastian stan#marvel fanfiction#dilf!bucky#bucky barnes fic#my stories
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WHO WANTS TO HEAR ME RAMBLE ABOUT GAY FURRY DEMON SEX? XD
(damn, there's a sentence I never thought I'd say....)
Okay...so I see some Stolitz confusion and bashing online and I need to type up a defense here because I won't be able to sleep otherwise lol
I consider myself to be a Ship Critic and someone who takes shipping rather seriously.
What I mean by this is, I like to analyze and break down romantic relationships between fictional characters because it's just interesting to write for me. I especially take delight in friendly debating with opinions that I strongly do *not* agree with.
Let me start off by saying I am NOT a "this ship is awesome because gay furry sex lol" type of girl.
FAR from it. I'm generally more passionate about hetero ships between human characters (because I can relate to them more) among other reasons. So if you wanna dismiss my defense as "shallow fangirlism", you can forget about that lame excuse.
I fell in love with Hazbin Hotel when it was finally released in February and suffered waiting for each new two-parts per week. During that time, I decided to watch Helluva Boss as well, after a friend showed me a particularly soul-crushing clip (Moxxie's childhood trauma about his mother).
Yes, I like funny sex jokes as much as the next goofy adult but scenes like this, scenes that carry a very heavy emotional weight are what really get me in the end, even moreso when VERY little dialogue is exchanged. I knew I had to watch the entire episode run after seeing that the creators had a talent for this.
I saw people asking:
"How did Stolas go from using Blitz as a sex toy to being painfully in love with him?"
Oh I can tell you. I can tell you the EXACT moment this is revealed. But it's not spoon-fed to you; it's quite subtle actually and this is why lots of people miss it.
See, one of the strongest talents Vivenne has shown me is that she REALLY knows how to get her characters to communicate their feelings to the viewers JUST from their expressions and body language. These can be 'blink-and-miss-it' teeny little scenes and it may require a couple rewatches.
But since people demand time stamps for all information others post here, I'll rewatch a few scenes from S1 E7 'Ozzie's' as I'm typing this.
'Ozzie's' remains to be not just my favorite episode of HB...but probably my favorite episode of any adult-targeted animated show outside of Japan (aside from S2 E7's Mid-Season Special)
It has this huge reveal for both Blitzo and Stolas.
We'll first address Blitzo's irrational, stalkerish behavior of Moxxie and Millie.
He's obsessed with them. He finds both of them very attractive, fantasizes about threesomes with them and is constantly inserting himself into their personal lives.
Why?
Because they have everything that he badly badly wants for himself.
They have the perfect marriage and he is trying to live THROUGH them.
This was hilarious to me at the beginnning of the show but it's slowly revealed that it's one of the most tragic and depressing things I've ever seen. And it's scarily realistic too.
But you know this already so let's move on...
Blitzo follows the couple to Ozzie's but he can't get in without a date. So he calls up Stolas and yes, this is very low but he doesn't realize how much this means to Stolas (hell, I'm not sure even Stolas realizes it himself!) but the owl man is giddy with joy, he rushes over and they enter Ozzie's.
When Ozzie and Fizz mock Moxxie for being so sappy towards his wife, this strikes a chord with Blitzo (because they're his IDEAL relationship) and he speaks up to defend them.
NOW PAY CLOSE ATTENTION; THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART:
Fizz, still holding onto his past grudge turns on Blitzo to humilate him:
"Some nerve you got commenting on a relationship"
Time Stamp: 11:37
As Fizz says "-ship", Blitzo VERY QUICKLY makes eye contact with Stolas who has a look of panic on his face. Blitzo is seeking VALIDATION from Stolas in this sharp, subtle second of screentime, as if to ask
"Well, ARE we in one?"
And then what happens next...Stolas remains silent, Blitzo's ex joins in to announce how selfish Blitzo was in bed with her, tearing him down further. Stolas stands up like he's going to put a stop to it but then Ozzie notices him and interrogates him about sleeping with Blitzo.
Blitzo looks incredibly ashamed and guilty as Stolas blushes with similar feelings...and hides his face behind his menu; HIS BIGGEST MISTAKE IN THE SERIES SO FAR.
Time Stamp: 12:24
The look on Blitzo's face as he grits his teeth and darts his eyes away basically says
"Yeah, I should have known...boy am I an idiot for trusting him to stand up for me".
(look how SHOCKED he is...wow, this hurts fr ;_;)
This is a silent betrayal on Stolas's part. Afterall, his reputation is on the line, so if he were to defend Blitzo, it confirms they are in fact, dating. He chose his pride over Blitzo and Blitzo is crushed by this betrayal.
Moxxie finishes his song and kisses his wife tenderly. Stolas watches this and also wants to have an affectionate moment with Blitzo (who is rightfully glaring daggers at him) and tries to reach for his hand.
Blitzo rejects his touch and suggests they leave. As they do, Blitzo still looks furious and hurt. Stolas is now realizing how badly he screwed up with a "What have I done?" face (13:41)
He even looks disappointed with himself.
After Blitzo drops Stolas off, he thanks him and tries to smooth over the awkwardness with sweet talk but Blitzo just rolls his eyes in disgust and pulls on his face like "I don't want to hear this bullshit".
He responds coldly and curtly, "Yeah." Stolas makes more suggestions to spend time with him, which just makes him even angrier and he snaps
"I'm not fucking you tonight, okay!
I'm really just..." (14:28)
he pauses to wipe a tear because at this point he can barely hold it together (top notch voice acting and animation directing btw)
"...not in the mood, Stolas."
Stolas still tries to talk him into doing couple things unrelated to sex.
Blitzo's face switches back to anger and frustration because Stolas isn't getting the message so he goes for the blunt tactic;
"Stolas, don't act like what we have is anything but YOU wanting ME to fuck you, okay?"
(14:42)
"You make that really clear all the time."
(again his voice sounds like he's about to break down)
"But I-I just can't do it tonight, okay?"
(Finally meets his eye)
"...I'm sorry."
I believe this is code for "I'm sorry we're even in this situation and how your reputation got damaged. " Or, more painfully, "I'm sorry I'm such an embarrassment to you".
Stolas replies "Okay" and takes a deep breath to compose himself. They say goodnight and depart.
An important note here is that Stolas calls him "Blitzo" instead of "Blitzy" to show more respect.
As Blitzo zooms away coldly, Stolas looks up at the sky with tears in his eyes, surprised at how much it hurts.
He then sits down with his head in his hands in anguish...because he's getting that
"Oh...no. These feelings are real" epiphany.
And as if this wasn't enough angst, Blitzo collapses onto his couch at home, goes through the memories on his phone and starts sobbing.
I'm going to be real with you; this is the most heart-breaking shit I have ever seen in an adult show of this type. It's also the first time a show of this type got me to cry.
The last six minutes have revealed so much information without spoonfeeding it to the audience because the show RESPECTS its audience.
To recap:
*Blitzo takes Stolas on a first official date to use him
*Stolas is extremely happy about it
*Blitzo gets humilated and looks to Stolas for validation
*Stolas betrays him and breaks his heart
*Blitzo snaps that their relationship is nothing more than lust-driven sex
*Stolas realizes he's actually in love with Blitzo and it's a huge problem because (he believes) that it's unrequited.
*Blitzo breaks down because the ONE person whom he thought would protect him didn't do so.
So these two are convinced that neither one loves the other...while the irony is, it's quite the opposite.
Because if Blitzo REALLY didn't feel anything towards Stolas, he would not have gotten this emotional.
Yes, they are both lonely...but I really don't think that's all there is between them.
So..........we know WHEN they started falling...now the question is why;
I think the answer's quite simple; single-target affection.
It was mentioned in S2 that Stolas and Stella did sleep together ONE TIME...but Stolas didn't enjoy it at all. He is stuck with a wife who hates him so much that she put a HIT on him...and a daughter who thinks he's a loser. Blitzo is pretty much the one person in his life who is able to make him happy. That one small, bright spot. He enjoys the sex with him but he also simply enjoys his company, as shown in Ozzie's episode. He is thrilled to simply talk to him about his day...and do anything else that couples do. They're complete opposites. Stolas is an intellectual but naive and sheltered. Blitzo is poorly educated but cynical and street-smart. Opposites attract...though this is likely more from Stolas's POV than Blitzo's.
In other words, Stolas is into bad boys xD lmao
In Blitzo's case, Stolas is the only character who shows him physical affection which he desperately craves. He's pretty tsundere about it most of the time...but I think he actually does enjoy that attention...especially when he's always getting disrespected by Moxxie and Loona..and quite a lot of people around him. BUT he's too scared to get serious with anyone because of past trauma and he also believes that no one could possibly love him as a person. :(
Reasons I Think This Love is Real
Aside from what I pointed out in the Ozzie's episode...there's quite a lot of evidence, esp from Stolas's POV.
After he realizes he's in love, he goes to Asomodeous for an ALTERNATIVE method for Blitzo to use so they will no longer sleep together. He wants to set Blitzo free. Which means he DOES truly love him because love is about being generous to the other person. He COULD be totally selfish about it but he isn't.
Asomodeous mentions how against love potions he is and Stolas agrees. He thinks that's out of the question.
'Look My Way' music video. Lol I don't have to say anything more.
In S2 E6 OOPS
This exchange at 16:57
Fizz: Seems your taste has gotten more 'regal', lately?
Blitz: Yeah, well unlike you, I fuck who I want WHEN I want. I'm not gonna be tied down to some big blue-blood asshole.
Fizz: You coulda fooled me the way Prince was cozying up to you at Ozzie's.
Blitz (gets very defensive) HEY! Stolas only cares about have a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress, okay!
It's nothing...(gets hesistant and looks away)...you know...
(Fizz gives him a 'bitch please' look xD)
"it's nothing else."
Fizz: Then why were you even there?
Blitz: OTHER very important reasons of course.
Fizz: Whatever. I don't actually care.
Blitz: Stolas is just a loud, thirsty BITCH!
(Fizz is rolling his eyes again)
Blitz: He loves feeling the thrill of getting dicked by the lower class.
It's a novelty to him.
Fizz: LITERALLY just said I don't care!
Blitz: And then he'll call me and try to see how my day was!
And he'll pretend to care about me and comment on my photos laugh at my jokes...
Fizz: (Smirking) OH! That's definitely your clue right there that it's all bullshit!
Blitz: I KNOW, RIGHT??
Fizz: (Making a 'What in idiot' expression, shaking his head)
Blitz: HE'S JUST A FAKE, PRIVELEDGED ASSHOLE...
Fizz: Sounds like you just hate him for being a prince!
No one (laughs) and I mean NO ONE pretends to care that much just for a cheap lay.
All right. IF ANYONE knows what real love is like, it's Fizzaroli...who is in a very HEALTHY relationship with Asomodeous. He recognizes the signs because he's IN that place. He sees it...and he's annoyed that Blitzo keeps denying it and brushing it off...yet clearly can NOT stop talking about Stolas (amusing irony)
To sum up (this freaking essay lol) 'Stolitz' ABSOLUTELY has the potential to be pure and true...these two just need to communicate...or Stolas has to PROVE to Blitzo that he's serious about his feelings in another way.
There is no doubt that this ship is 100% endgame and is a case of the 'Earn Your Happy Ending' Trope. I look forward to the rest of the journey. Ron is putting my feelings about Stolitz in a perfect phrase:
#shipping#helluva boss#blitzø#stolas#stolitz#blitzo x stolas#stolas x blitz#vivziepop#animation#man they really have a firm grip on my heart#it's so strange to me lol#OH THE ANGST
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Star Trek TOS crew biographies
There are plenty of detailed biographies of the TOS crew, both online and in reference books. But I wanted to check what actually appears in the Original Series and the six TOS movies about this subject (that is, not counting secondary sources or later series).
And the result is... very little, actually. I was surprised by the amount of data that I took for granted, just to find out it came from a novel or wasn't 100% set in stone.
This is what I could find about each major character, just judging from the TOS series and movies. Feel free to add to this or correct mistakes.
James Tiberius Kirk:
Although in the series he's referred just as James T. Kirk, his middle name "Tiberius" appears in Star Trek VI. "Tiberius" was also his middle name in TAS episode Bem, and the novel The Galactic Whirlpool (both by Gerrold), as well as in Roddenberry's TMP novelization. So yeah, no doubts about his name.
He was born in Iowa (Star Trek IV) and had one brother, George Samuel Kirk, and three nephews (What are little girls made of?). Sam married a woman named Aurelan (Operation: Annihilate).
Kirk was 34 in The Deadly Years. Assuming each season is a year of the five year mission, he could be 33 at the start of the series. And this is the only reference for his age I could find.
As for actual dates, I didn't find anything, except his statement in Star Trek IV that he comes from the late 23rd century.
(It wouldn't be until Voyager episode Q2, that a date was given for the end of the five-year mission: 2270. This follows Michael Okuda's Star Trek Chronology, and all other dates for TOS are inferred from this).
At age 13 he witnessed the massacre of Tarsus IV (Kodos was governor twenty years ago, in The Conscience of the King).
At age 18 he had just entered the Academy and was tormented by Finnegan. At this time he also met Ruth (fifteen years before Shore Leave).
He served in the USS Republic as an ensign, at some unspecified time after his Academy years, where he reported Ben Finney for negligency (Court Martial).
At age 21 he visited the planet Neural and befriended Tyree (thirteen years before A private little war).
He teached at the Academy as a lieutenant. One of his students was his friend Gary Mitchell (Where No Man has Gone Before).
He was a lieutenant in the USS Farragut at age 23 (eleven years before Obsession), where he first encountered the cloud creature that massacred his crewmates.
Kirk had a relationship with Areel Shaw when he was 29 (four years before Court Martial).
He became captain of the USS Enterprise after Pike. If we suppose TOS first season happens during the first year of the five-year mission, Kirk was around 37 at the end of this mission.
There's a big gap of fifteen years between Space Seed and the second movie. And apart from the five-year mission, most of those years are unaccounted for. Kirk's been an admiral for two years and a half at the start of TMP. But we don't know if he became an admiral right after the Enterprise's mission, or much later. That is, we don't know at what point of that gap take place the events of TMP.
Around this time, both Spock and McCoy had retired from Starfleet, though they both returned when Kirk took the Enterprise again for the V'Ger incident.
By The Wrath of Kahn, Kirk should be 48 years old (fifteen years since he left Kahn stranded in Space Seed). If David is around 30, Kirk's relationship with Carol could have been at the Academy, but it's also possible that David is younger.
The third and fourth films happen shortly after The Wrath of Kahn, but no idea how much time elapsed since then and the fifth and sixth films (though see the info for McCoy).
Spock
Known simply as "Spock". His full name is considered unpronounceable for humans, though the novel Ishmael gives it as "S'chn T'gai Spock".
His parents are Sarek and Amanda (Journey to Babel). Amanda's last name was never given, though TAS episode Yesteryear, some novels, and the 2009 reboot film establishes it as "Grayson".
Spock also has a half-brother: Sybok (Star Trek V).
I couldn't find anything about Spock's actual age during the series/movies.
He was betrothed to T'Pring at age seven (Amok Time).
He probably joined Starfleet eighteen years before Journey to Babel, since that's the time he spent not speaking with Sarek. If he joined Starfleet at 18 years old, he'd be 36 by season two (but that's just a supposition).
He was part of Pike's crew thirteen years before The Menagerie, during the events in Talos IV. He'd be 22 by then. Spock served under Pike for eleven years (also from The Menagerie). That means Kirk had been captain of the Enterprise for at least two years before season one.
After that, Spock's career runs more or less in parallel with Kirk's, so I won't go over it again.
Leonard H. McCoy
His middle initial first appears in Star Trek III, as well as the name of his father: David. The novel Provenance of Shadows explains the middle initial as "Horatio", but other novels call him "Leonard Edward McCoy" (???).
Much of his biographical background comes from the "Writer's Guide" by Roddenberry and Fontana, but never made it to the series. That includes the fact he's 45 (by season one?) and born in Georgia. As well as the fact that he's divorced and joined Starfleet as a result of this, and that he has a 20 year old daughter (Joanna).
Presumably, the story of his divorce and Joanna would have appeared in The Way to Eden, but the story was severely altered.
His daughter is mentioned, but without name, in TAS episode The Survivor, and in several novels. The Gold Key comics call her "Barbara" instead. His ex-wife is given different names in the novels and comics: Honey, Jocelyn, Joan, Gillian...
No idea when he joined Starfleet (that depends on how long was his marriage), or when he met Kirk.
Ten years before The Man Trap, he had a romance with Nancy Crater. Though in the episode he sometimes says he knew her twelve years ago, and other times ten years ago. Either it's a mistake, or the relationship simply lasted two years (though McCoy's doubts about Nancy remembering him, imply the relationship wasn't very long).
At some point, he visited Capella IV for a few months (Friday's Child).
He served in the Enterprise for 27 years (Star Trek VI), but only under Kirk, it seems. If he was 45 when he started, he'd be 72 in the last film, and Kirk would be 60 years old.
Note on McCoy's age in later series
The "Writer's Guide" statement that McCoy was 45 at the time of TOS, was contradicted by later series.
In TNG episode Encounter at Farpoint, he's said to be 137 years old. While in the episode The Neutral Zone (also from TNG season one) the year is 2364. As both episodes probably happen in the same year, McCoy would have been born in 2227.
Since, according to Voyager, the five-year mission lasted from 2266 to 2270, McCoy would have been 39 at the start of the mission.
I'm following the Writer's Guide figure, however, because I consider this document more relevant for TOS itself. After all, many things that are facts in later series, aren't the same in TOS, and viceversa.
Also, considering that the age of the characters seems to be close to the age of the actors, I find more likely that McCoy was 45, and not 39, at the start of TOS. To give you an idea, Shatner was 36 in season two (Kirk was 34), Nimoy was also 36 (just as Spock) and Kelley was 47. The twelve year gap between Kirk and McCoy, would be almost the same as the eleven year gap between Shatner and Kelley.
Montgomery Scott
Very little about him, but at least we got his full name in the series. He's supposed to be Scottish, and has lived in Aberdeen (Wolf in the Fold).
Apart from being Chief Engineer in the Enterprise, he was engineer advisor in a freighter, running from Deneva to the asteroid belt (Operation: Annihilate).
Uhura
We never knew her first name in TOS! This is one of the things that surprised me the most.
However, "Nyota" is her first name in the reboot films, the new series, and well before that, the novel The Entropy Effect.
She was probably born in east Africa, since her native language seems to be Swahili (the language she reverted to when her memory was wiped in The Changeling). Thanks to user @sapsuckers-and-stardust for pointing this out.
Very, very little about her bio background. Most of it has to be collected from novels or comics, and those never intended to be coherent with each other.
Hikaru Sulu
Though his first name was unknown for a long time, it was revealed to be "Hikaru" in Star Trek VI. But before this, he was also called Hikaru in The Entropy Effect.
Sulu was born in San Francisco (Star Trek IV).
Again, almost nothing of his bio in the series/movies. Though the DC comics explored his character significantly. And in Star Trek: Generations, he had a daughter, Demora.
By Star Trek VI, he was finally a captain of his own ship, the Excelsior.
Pavel Andreievich Chekov
His full name appears first in The Way to Eden, where we also learn he had a romance with Irina Galliulin at the Academy.
Chekov has no siblings (Day of the Dove).
He's 22 by season two (Who mourns for Adonais?).
After serving in the Enterprise, he was first officer in the USS Reliant during The Wrath of Kahn, though he returned with Kirk after the Reliant's destruction.
Christine Chapel
She abandoned her career in bio-research to sign aboard the Enterprise as a nurse, and search after her fiancé Roger Korby (What are little girls made of?) Strangely enough, a few episodes before, she had confessed her love for Spock. She chose to stay in the ship after finding out Korby was dead.
By the time of TMP, she was a doctor in the Enterprise, though she doesn't appear as part of the crew in the later movies.
Janice Rand
She served as a yeoman in the Enterprise during the early five-year mission, but disappears from the series afterwards.
In TMP, she's the transporter chief. And in Star Trek IV, Janice is seen at Starfleet Command, along with Chapel.
By Star Trek VI, she was the communications officer of the Excelsior, under Sulu.
#star trek tos#reference#biographies#star trek tos crew#james kirk#spock#leonard mccoy#uhura#montgomery scott#hikaru sulu#pavel chekov#christine chapel#janice rand
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Know Your Neopronouns
If you look around online, you can find lists of neopronouns. (Neopronouns are words that get can be used instead of 'he' or 'she' when refering to someone.) Most show just the first 2 terms (‘Ey/Em,’ or ‘Ze/Zim’). Few provide any info about how to pronounce them. And even less provide examples of how messy real usage is. This guide is an attempt to show how real people are using neopronouns. It’s based off the data of the 2020-2023 (Nonbinary) Gender Censuses.
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English Pronoun Sets include:
Subject (the person acting) – ie. They
Object (the person the action is happening to) – ie. Them
Dependent Possessive (ownership, thing owned is named) - ie. Their
Independent Possessive (ownership, thing owned is not named) – ie. Theirs
Reflexive (action affecting the person who is acting) – ie. Themself
In a sentence:
They walked in and told me their name was Chris. I said hi, and showed them the name tags. They found theirs and put it on themself.
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Neopronouns come in 3 flavours:
The first type is based off the most common English personal pronouns:
‘They/Them/Their/Theirs/Themself (or Themselves)’
‘He/Him/His/His/Himself’
‘She/Her/Her/Hers/Herself’
This type of neopronoun usually mimics the ending sounds of one or more of the common pronoun sets. For example, ‘Ze/Zem’ pronouns are based on ‘he’ and ‘them.’
The second type includes pronouns not usually used as personal pronouns (like indefinite ('One'), neuter ('It'), or definite (‘that’)). It also includes neopronouns derived from them ('Thon').
The third type is based on various nouns not usually considered related to gender at all ('Star' or 'Pup'). These are called ‘nounself pronouns.’
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I’ve listed both the common pronouns, as well as the most used neopronouns. For each entry, I include a variety of forms and spellings. I do my best to provide pronunciation. (I have not heard all of them pronounced, and what little I was able to find online might not match what real people are saying.) And I mention if they mimic feminine or masculine pronouns, singular they, indefinite pronouns, nouns, etc.
List of the 25 Most Common Pronouns Used By Nonbinary People in 2023 (According to the Gender Census):
They
He
She
It
Xe
Fae
Hir
Ey
E
Ae
Ve
Ze
Star
Hy
Thon
Void
Ne
Kit, Cat
Pup
Vae, Vey
Xey
Mew, Meow
Bun
One
Moon, Lun
Other pronouns with more than 30 users in the census (not included as separate entries)
That, Thing (that/that/thats/thats/thatself, thing/thing/things/things/thingself, that thing/that thing/that thing’s/that thing’s/that thing – 56 people)
Vamp (vamp/vamp/vamps/vamps/vampself – 54 people)
Sun, Sol (sun/sun/suns/suns/sunself, sol/sol/sols/sols/solself – 51 people)
Dey, Dae (dey/dem/deir/deirs/demself, dae/daem/daer/daers/daemself – 46 people)
Zey (zey/zem/zeir/zeirs/zemself – 46 people)
Per (per/per//per/pers/perself – 18 people)
Rot (rot/rot/rots/rots/rotself – 37 people)
Sie/Sier (sie/sier/sier/siers/sierself - 36 people)
Nya/Nyan (nya/nya/nyas/nyas/nyaself, nya/nyan/nyans/nyas/nyanself – 36 people)
Bug (bug/bug/bugs/bugs/bugself – 35 people)
Ix, X (ix/ix/ixs/ixs/ixself, x/x/xs/xs/xself – 34 people)
Ce (ce/cer/cer/cers/cerself – 33 people)
1. Singular They (They/Them)
Most common nonbinary pronoun set, this was used by 30,188 people in the 2023 Gender Census.
Usual Set:
They / Them / Their / Theirs / Themself (30,107 people)
Pronunciation: ðeɪ / ðɛm / ðeɪɹ / ðeɪɹz / ðɛmsɛlf (dhay / dhem / dhayr / dhayrz / dhemself)
Nonstandard Sets:
They / Them / Their / Theirs / Themselves (67 people)
Pronunciation: ðeɪ / ðɛm / ðeɪɹ / ðeɪɹz / ðɛmsɛlvz (dhay / dhem / dhayr / dhayrz / dhemselvz)
Plural they.
They / Them / Their / Theirs / Theirself (3 people)
Pronunciation: ðeɪ / ðɛm / ðeɪɹ / ðeɪɹz / ðɛɹsɛlf (dhay / dhem / dhayr / dhayrz / dherself)
Nonstandard They
Using them when talking:
They walked in and told me their name was Chris. I said hi, and showed them the name tags. They found theirs and put it on themself.
Nonstandard sets:
They walked in and told me their name was Chris. I said hi, and showed them the name tags. They found theirs and put it on themselves.
They walked in and told me their name was Chris. I said hi, and showed them the name tags. They found theirs and put it on theirself.
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2. Masculine Pronouns (He/Him)
Second most common nonbinary pronoun set, this was used by 17,182 people in the 2023 Gender Census.
Usual Set:
He / Him / His / His / Himself
Pronunciation: hiː / hɪm / hɪz / hɪz / hɪmsɛlf (hee / him /hiz / hiz / himself)
Nonstandard Sets:
He / Him / His / His / Hisself
Pronunciation: hiː / hɪm / hɪz / hɪz / hɪsɛlf (hee / him /hiz / hiz / hiself)
Using them when talking:
He walked in and told me his name was Chris. I said hi, and showed him the name tags. He found his and put it on himself.
Nonstandard set would end with: He found his and put it on hisself.
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3. Feminine Pronouns (She/Her)
Third most common nonbinary pronoun set, this was used by 13,220 people in the 2023 Gender Census.
Usual Set:
She / Her / Her / Hers / Herself
Pronunciation: ʃiː / hɚ / hɚ / hɚz / hɚsɛlf (shee / her /her / herz / herself)
Using them when talking:
She walked in and told me her name was Chris. I said hi, and showed her the name tags. She found hers and put it on herself.
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4. Neuter Pronouns (It/It)
4th most common set of pronouns (up from 5th last year), and probably the most controversal. Seen as dehumanizing by many people, and as validating by others. (7,859 people)
Usual Set:
It / It /Its / Its / Itself
Pronunciation: ɪt / ɪt / ɪts / ɪts / ɪtsɛlf (it / it / its / its / itself)
Using them when talking:
It walked in and told me its name was Chris. I said hi, and showed it the name tags. It found its and put it on itself.
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5. Xe/Xem Pronouns
5th most common set of nonbinary pronouns, and the most popular neopronoun set. (4,649 people)
Usual Set:
Xe / Xem / Xyr / Xyrs / Xymself (4,504 people)
Pronunciation: ziː / zɛm / zɚ / zɚz / zɛmsɛlf (zee / zem / zer / zerz / zemself)
Based on: Singular They, with Feminine subject and possessive pronouns
Nonstandard Sets:
Xe / Xir / Xir / Xirs / Xirself (74 people)
Pronunciation: ziː / zɚ / zɚ / zɚz / zɚsɛlf (zee / zer / zer / zerz / zerself)
Based on: Feminine
Xe / Xim / Xis / Xis / Ximself (27 people)
Pronunciation: ziː / zɪm / zɪz / zɪz / zɪmsɛlf (zee / zim / ziz / ziz / zimself)
Based on: Masculine
Xe / Xem / Xir / Xirs / Xirself (23 people)
Pronunciation: ziː / zɛm / zɚ / zɚz / zɚsɛlf (zee / zem / zer / zerz / zerself)
Based on: Nonstandard They, with Feminine possessive pronouns
Spelling:
Subject - Xe (4604), Xie (18), Xi (10), Xy (9), Xhe (7)
Object - Xem (4508), Xim (38), Xym (10), Xiem (3) | Xir (38), Xer (24), Xyr (18), Xher (3)
Dep. Possessive - Xyr (4472), Xir (62), Xer (43), Xeir (23), Xier (5) | Xis (32)
Ind. Possessive - Xyrs (4469), Xirs (54), Xir's (4), Xers (42), Xeirs (22), Xiers (5), Xhers (3) | Xis (25) | Xir (7), Xyr (3)
Reflexive - Xemself (4495), Ximself (31), Xymself (9) | Xirself (42), Xerself (28), Xyrself (22), Xeirself (7)
Using them when talking:
Xe walked in and told me xyr name was Chris. I said hi, and showed xem the name tags. Xe found xyrs and put it on xymself.
Nonstandard sets:
Xe walked in and told me xir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed xir the name tags. Xe found xirs and put it on xirself.
Xe walked in and told me xis name was Chris. I said hi, and showed xim the name tags. Xe found xis and put it on ximself.
Xe walked in and told me xir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed xem the name tags. Xe found xirs and put it on xirself.
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6. Faerself Pronouns (Fae/Faer)
6th most common set of pronouns, and the 2nd most popular neopronoun set. (2,662 people)
Usual Set:
Fae / Faer / Faer / Faers / Faeself (2,623)
Pronunciation: feɪ / feɪɹ / feɪɹ / feɪɹz / feɪsɛlf (fay / fayr / fayr / fayrz / fayself)
Based on: the noun Fae/Fairy, with Feminine object and possessive pronouns
Nonstandard Sets:
Fey / Fem / Feir / Feirs / Femself (10 people)
Pronunciation: feɪ / fɛm / feɪɹ / feɪɹz / fɛmsɛlf (fay / fem / fayr / fayrz / femself)
Based on: Singular They
Fey / Fem / Feir / Feirs / Feirself (9 people)
Pronunciation: feɪ / fɛm / feɪɹ / feɪɹz / feɪɹsɛlf (fay / fem / fayr / fayrz / fayrself)
Based on: Nonstandard They
Fey / Feyr / Feyr / Feyrs / Feyrself (6 people)
Pronunciation: feɪ / feɪɹ / feɪɹ / feɪɹz / feɪɹsɛlf (fay / fayr / fayr / fayrz / fayrself)
Based on: Feminine
Spelling:
Subject - Fae (2638), Fey (18)
Object -Faer (2625), Feyr (3) | Fem (14), Faem (7)
Dep. Possessive - Faer (2637), Feir (11), Feyr (7)
Ind. Possessive - Faers (2636), Feirs (11), Feyrs (6)| Faes (3)
Reflexive - Faeself (2625) | Faerself (7), Feirself (5), Feyrself (5) | Femself (7), Faemself (4)
Using them when talking:
Fae walked in and told me faer name was Chris. I said hi, and showed faer the name tags. Fae found faers and put it on faeself.
Nonstandard sets:
Fey walked in and told me feir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed fem the name tags. Fey found feirs and put it on femself.
Fey walked in and told me feir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed fem the name tags. Fey found feirs and put it on feirself.
Fey walked in and told me feyr name was Chris. I said hi, and showed feyr the name tags. Fey found feyrs and put it on feyrself.
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7. Hir Pronouns (Ze or Sie/Hir)
The set associated with older users. Shi/Hir is also associated with the furry fandom and intersex people (who may consider it a completely different set. Research suggests there might have been drama in the 90s.) (2,190 people)
Usual Set:
Ze / Hir / Hir / Hirs / Hirself (2,148 people)
Pronunciation: ziː / hiːɹ / hiːɹ / hiːɹz / hiːɹsɛlf (zee / heer / heer / heerz / heerself)
Based on: Feminine, with a long ‘ee’ for all forms.
Nonstandard Sets:
Shi / Hir / Hir / Hirs / Hirself (34 people)
Pronunciation: ʃaɪ / hiːɹ / hiːɹ / hiːɹz / hiːɹsɛlf (shy / heer / heer / heerz / heerself)
Based on: Feminine, with the same long ‘ee.’
Spelling:
Subject - Ze (2107), Sie (30), Zie (6), Se (3) | Shi (26), Shy (6)
Object - Hir (2177), Hyr (9)
Dep. Possessive - Hir (2174), Hyr (8) | Hirs (5)
Ind. Possessive - Hirs (2177), Hyrs (7)
Reflexive - Hirself (2173), Hyrself (7) | Hemself (3)
Using them when talking:
Ze walked in and told me hir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed hir the name tags. Ze found hirs and put it on hirself.
Nonstandard set:
Shi walked in and told me hir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed hir the name tags. Shi found hirs and put it on hirself.
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8. Elverson Pronouns (Ey/Em)
Very similar to Spivak pronouns (next), these ones have the subject pronoun (‘ey’) based on ‘they,’ rather than ‘he’ or ‘she.’ (2,056 people)
Usual Set:
Ey / Em / Eir / Eirs / Emself (2,037 people)
Pronunciation: eɪ / ɛm / eɪɹ / eɪɹz / ɛmsɛlf (ay / em / ayr / ayrz / emself)
Based on: Singular They
Nonstandard sets:
Ey / Em / Eir / Eirs / Eirself (10 people)
Pronunciation: eɪ / ɛm / eɪɹ / eɪɹz / eɪɹsɛlf (ay / em / ayr / ayrz / ayrself)
Based on: Nonstandard They
Spelling:
Subject - Ey (2051), Ei (3)
Object - Em (2048)
Dep. Possessive - Eir (2049)
Ind. Possessive - Eirs (2049)
Reflexive - Emself (2037), Eimself (3) | Eirself (11)
Using them when talking:
Ey walked in and told me eir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed em the name tags. Ey found eirs and put it on emself.
Nonstandard set would end with: Ey found eirs and put it on eirself.
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9. Spivak Pronouns (E/Em)
The set most often named in articles explaining neopronouns. (1,624 people)
Usual Set:
E / Em / Eir / Eirs / Emself (1,575 people)
Pronunciation: iː / ɛm / eɪɹ / eɪɹz / ɛmsɛlf (ee / em / ayr / ayrz / emself)
Based on: Singular They, with Feminine/Masculine subject pronoun.
Nonstandard sets:
E / Em / Es / Es / Emself (13 people)
Pronunciation: iː / ɛm / iːz / iːz / ɛmsɛlf (ee / em / eez / eez / emself)
Based on: Masculine
Spelling:
Subject - E (1604), 'E (3) | En (7) | Em (8)
Object - Em (1600), Im (6) | E (5) |En (4)
Dep. Possessive - Eir (1577), Er (5) | Es (14), Is (5) | Ems (6) | Ens (4)
Ind. Possessive - Eirs (1576), Ers (5) | Es (10), Is (5), 'Is (3) | Ems (9) | Ens (3)
Reflexive - Emself (1593), Imself (4) | Eself (4) | Enself (4)
Using them when talking:
E walked in and told me eir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed em the name tags. E found eirs and put it on emself.
Nonstandard set:
E walked in and told me es name was Chris. I said hi, and showed em the name tags. E found es and put it on emself.
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10. Lindsay Pronouns (Ae/Aer) (344 people)
Very similar to Spivak and Elverson pronouns. Created for a scifi alien race in 1920.
Usual Set:
Ae / Aer / Aer / Aers / Aerself (236 people)
Pronunciation: eɪ / eɪɹ / eɪɹ / eɪɹz / eɪɹsɛlf (ay / ayr / ayr / ayrz / ayrself)
Based on: Feminine, with vowels similar to Singular They.
Nonstandard sets:
Ae / Aem / Aer / Aers / Aemself (22 people)
Pronunciation: eɪ / ɛm / eɪɹ / eɪɹz / ɛmsɛlf (ay / em / ayr / ayrz / emself)
Based on: Singular They
Ae / Aer / Aers / Aers / Aerself (20 people)
Pronunciation: eɪ / eɪɹ / eɪɹz / eɪɹz / eɪɹsɛlf (ay / ayr / ayrz / ayrz / ayrself)
Based on: Feminine, with possessives based on nouns.
Ae / Aem / Aer / Aers / Aerself (19 people)
Pronunciation: eɪ / ɛm / eɪɹ / eɪɹz / eɪɹsɛlf (ay / em / ayr / ayrz / ayrself)
Based on: Nonstandard They
Spelling:
Subject - Ae (328), Æ (4), Ay (4) | Aer (3)
Object - Aer (268) | Aem (44) | Ae (13)
Dep. Possessive - Aer (285), Ær (3), Aeir (5), Ayr (4) | Aers (24) | Aes (8)
Ind. Possessive - Aers (296), Aer's (4), Ærs (3), Aeirs (5), Ayrs (4) | Aer (6) | Aes (12)
Reflexive - Aerself (280), Ærself (3), Aeirself (3) | Aemself (25) | Aeself (14)
Using them when talking:
Ae walked in and told me aer name was Chris. I said hi, and showed aer the name tags. Ae found aers and put it on aerself.
Nonstandard sets:
Ae walked in and told me aer name was Chris. I said hi, and showed aem the name tags. Ae found aers and put it on aemself.
Ae walked in and told me aers name was Chris. I said hi, and showed aer the name tags. Ae found aers and put it on aerself.
Ae walked in and told me aer name was Chris. I said hi, and showed aem the name tags. Ae found aers and put it on aerself.
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11. Ve/Ver Pronouns
These seem to be the neopronouns to play around with! Many of the sets here alternate masculine and feminine forms, sometimes in unpredictable ways. (304 people)
Usual Set:
Ve / Ver / Ver / Vers / Verself (70 people)
Pronunciation: viː / vɚ / vɚ / vɚz / vɚsɛlf (vee / ver / ver / verz / verself)
Based on: Feminine
Nonstandard Sets:
Ve / Ver / Vis / Vis / Verself (42 people)
Pronunciation: viː / vɚ / vɪz / vɪz / vɚsɛlf (vee / ver / viz / viz / verself)
Based on: Masculine and Feminine
Ve / Vem / Ver / Vers / Vemself (32 people)
Pronunciation: viː / vɛm / vɚ / vɚz / vɛmsɛlf (vee / vem / ver / verz / vemself)
Based on: Singular They
Ve / Vim / Vis / Vis / Vimself (30 people)
Pronunciation: viː / vɪm / vɪz / vɪz / vɪmsɛlf (vee / vim / viz / viz / vimself)
Based on: Masculine
Ve / Vem / Vir / Virs / Virself (29 people)
Pronunciation: viː / vɛm / viːɹ / viːɹz / vɚsɛlf (vee / vem / veer / veerz / verself)
Based on: Nonstandard They
Ve / Ver / Vis / Vers / Verself (22 people)
Pronunciation: viː / vɚ / vɪz / vɚz / vɚsɛlf (vee / ver / viz / verz / verself)
Based on: Feminine, with one Masculine possessive
Spelling:
Subject - Ve (230), Vi (59), Vy (4)
Object - Ver (90), Vir (57), Zher (6) | Vim (59), Vem (56), Vym (5) | Ven (8) | Vis (4)
Dep. Possessive - Vir (73), Ver (56), Veir (18), Vyr (10), Vier (4) | Vis (107) | Virs (4), Vers (3) | Vens (3)
Ind. Possessive - Virs (83), Vers (67), Veirs (18), Vyrs (9), Vaers (3) | Vis (92) | Vens (3)
Reflexive - Verself (100), Virself (75), Vyrself (5), Verrself (4) | Vimself (48), Vemself (33) | Viself (4), Veself (4) | Venself (6)
Using them when talking:
Ve walked in and told me ver name was Chris. I said hi, and showed ver the name tags. Ve found vers and put it on verself.
Nonstandard sets:
Ve walked in and told me vis name was Chris. I said hi, and showed ver the name tags. Ve found vis and put it on verself.
Ve walked in and told me ver name was Chris. I said hi, and showed vem the name tags. Ve found vers and put it on vemself.
Ve walked in and told me vis name was Chris. I said hi, and showed vim the name tags. Ve found vis and put it on vimself.
Ve walked in and told me vir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed vem the name tags. Ve found virs and put it on virself.
Ve walked in and told me vis name was Chris. I said hi, and showed ver the name tags. Ve found vers and put it on vimself.
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12. Ze Pronouns
Pronounced almost identically to Xe pronouns, but derives from Ze/Hir pronouns (286 people)
Usual Set:
Ze / Zir / Zir / Zirs / Zirself (140 people)
Pronunciation: ziː / ziːɹ / ziːɹ / ziːɹz / ziːɹsɛlf (zee / zeer / zeer / zeerz / zeerself)
Based on: Ze/Hir, which is based on Feminine, with a long ‘ee’ for all forms.
Nonstandard Sets:
Ze / Zem / Zir / Zirs / Zemself (76 people)
Pronunciation: ziː / zɛm / ziːɹ / ziːɹz / zɛmsɛlf (zee / zem / zeer / zeerz / zemself)
Based on: Singular They
Ze / Zem / Zir / Zirs / Zirself (26 people)
Pronunciation: ziː / zɛm / ziːɹ / ziːɹz / ziːɹsɛlf (zee / zem / zeer / zeerz / zeerself)
Based on: Nonstandard They
Ze / Zim / Zis / Zis / Zimself (76 people)
Pronunciation: ziː / zɪm / zɪz / zɪz / zɪmsɛlf (zee / zim / ziz / ziz / zimself)
Based on: Masculine
Spelling:
Subject - Ze (237), Zie (27), Zhe (17), Zi (3)
Object - Zir (126), Zer (8), Zher (6) | Zem (83), Zim (31), Zhim (7)
Dep. Possessive - Zir (181), Zer (31), Zeir (20), Zyr (12), Zher (10), Zhir (3) | Zis (10) | Zirs (5)
Ind. Possessive - Zirs (178), Zers (31), Zeirs (22), Zyrs (12), Zhers (10), Zhirs (3) | Zis (8) | Zir (3)
Reflexive - Zirself (149), Zerself (14), Zherself (6), Zyrself (4), Zeirself (3) | Zemself (78), Zimself (25), Zymself (4), Zhimself (7) | Zeself (4)
Using them when talking:
Ze walked in and told me zir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed zir the name tags. Ze found zirs and put it on zirself.
Nonstandard sets:
Ze walked in and told me zir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed zem the name tags. Ze found zirs and put it on zemself.
Ze walked in and told me zir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed zem the name tags. Ze found zirs and put it on zirself.
Ze walked in and told me zis name was Chris. I said hi, and showed zim the name tags. Ze found zis and put it on zimself.
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13. Star Pronouns
The most popular nounself pronouns (13th overall)! (157 people)
Usual Set:
Star / Star / Stars / Stars / Starself (133 people)
Pronunciation: stɑɹ / stɑɹ / stɑɹz / stɑɹz / stɑɹsɛlf (star / star / starz / starz / starself)
Based on: Nouns
Nonstandard Sets:
Usual Set: Star / Star / Star / Stars / Starself (9 people)
Pronunciation: stɑɹ / stɑɹ / stɑɹ / stɑɹz / stɑɹsɛlf (star / star / star / starz / starself)
Based on: Nouns, with possessives influenced by Feminine/Singular They
Spelling:
Subject - Star (150) | Sta (3)
Object - Star (144) | Stars (4)
Dep. Possessive - Stars (119), Star's (16) | Star (12)
Ind. Possessive - Stars (130), Star's (19)
Reflexive - Starself (150)
Using them when talking:
Star walked in and told me stars name was Chris. I said hi, and showed star the name tags. Star found stars and put it on starself.
Nonstandard sets:
Star walked in and told me star name was Chris. I said hi, and showed star the name tags. Star found stars and put it on starself.
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14. Hy/Hym Pronouns
Pronounced identically to masculine pronouns. (130 people)
Usual Set:
Hy / Hym / Hys / Hys / Hymself (103 people)
Pronunciation: hiː / hɪm / hɪz / hɪz / hɪmsɛlf (hee / him /hiz / hiz / himself)
Based on: Masculine
Nonstandard Set:
Hey / Hem / Heir / Heirs / Hemself (9 people)
Pronunciation: heɪ / hɛm / heɪɹ / heɪɹz / heɪɹsɛlf (hay / hem /hayr / hayrz / hemself)
Based on: Singular They
Spelling:
Subject - Hy (97), He (10), Hie (5) | Hey (10)
Object - Hym (65), Hymn (44), Hem (15)
Dep. Possessive - Hys (97) | Heir (11), Hyr (3) | Hymns (4)
Ind. Possessive - Hys (97) | Heirs (1) | Hymns (5)
Reflexive - Hymself (58), Hymnself (46), Hemself (12)
Using them when talking:
Hy walked in and told me hys name was Chris. I said hi, and showed hym the name tags. Hy found hys and put it on hymself.
Nonstandard sets:
Hey walked in and told me heir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed hem the name tags. Hey found heirs and put it on hemself.
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15. Thon Pronouns
One of the oldest neopronouns, dating to 1858. A contraction of 'that one'. Linguists and social reformers LOVED these pronouns, actual users are much rarer. (122 people)
Usual Set:
Thon / Thon / Thons / Thons / Thonself (104 people)
Pronunciation: ðʌn / ðʌn / ðʌnz / ðʌnz / ðʌnsɛlf (dhuhn / dhuhn / dhuhnz / dhuhnz / dhuhnself – ‘the’ + n)
Based on: One (Indefinite Pronoun), which works identically to nouns
Nonstandard Set:
Thon / Thon / Thon / Thons / Thonself (6 people)
Pronunciation: ðʌn / ðʌn / ðʌn / ðʌnz / ðʌnsɛlf (dhuhn / dhuhn / dhuhn / dhuhnz / dhuhnself)
Based on: One, with possessives influenced by Feminine/Singular They
Spelling:
Subject - Thon (119)
Object - Thon (114) | Thons (5)
Dep. Possessive - Thons (104), Thon's (5) | Thon (7)
Ind. Possessive - Thons (101), Thon's (12) | Thon (4)
Reflexive - Thonself (119)
Using them when talking:
Thon walked in and told me thons name was Chris. I said hi, and showed thon the name tags. Thon found thons and put it on thonself.
Nonstandard sets:
Thon walked in and told me thon name was Chris. I said hi, and showed thon the name tags. Thon found thons and put it on thonself.
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16. Void Pronouns
The 2nd most popular nounself pronouns (16th overall) (117 people)
Usual Set:
Void / Void / Voids / Voids / Voidself (72 people)
Pronunciation: voɪd / voɪd / voɪdz / voɪdz / voɪdsɛlf (voyd / voyd / voydz / voydz / voydself)
Based on: Nouns (Void)
Nonstandard Sets:
Voi / Void / Voids / Voids / Voidself (69 people)
Pronunciation: voɪ / voɪd / voɪdz / voɪdz / voɪdsɛlf (voy / voyd / voydz / voydz / voydself)
Based on: Nouns (Void), with subject form shortened to better match established pronouns
Voi / Void / Void / Voids / Voidself (10 people)
Pronunciation: voɪ / voɪd / voɪd / voɪdz / voɪdsɛlf (voy / voyd / voyd / voydz / voydself)
Based on: Nouns (Void), with subject form shortened, and possessives influenced by Feminine/Singular They
Spelling:
Subject - Voi (108), Vo (3) | Void (80) | Vi (3)
Object - Void (180) | Voi (9)
Dep. Possessive - Voids (134), Void's (14) | Void (18) | Vois (14) | Voi (4)
Ind. Possessive - Voids (153), Void's (19) | Vois (12)
Reflexive - Voidself (181) | Voiself (9)
Using them when talking:
Void walked in and told me voids name was Chris. I said hi, and showed void the name tags. Void found voids and put it on voidself.
Nonstandard sets:
Voi walked in and told me voids name was Chris. I said hi, and showed void the name tags. Voi found voids and put it on voidself.
Voi walked in and told me void name was Chris. I said hi, and showed void the name tags. Voi found voids and put it on voidself.
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17. Ne/Nem Pronouns
(114 people)
Usual Set:
Ne / Nem / Nir / Nirs / Nemself (61 people)
Pronunciation: niː / nɛm / nɚ / nɚz / nɛmsɛlf (nee / nem / ner / nerz / nemself)
Based on: Singular They, with Feminine subject and possessive pronouns
Nonstandard Sets:
Ne / Nim / Nis / Nis / Nimself (19 people)
Pronunciation: niː / nɪm / nɪz / nɪz / nɪmsɛlf (nee / nim / niz / niz / nimself)
Based on: Masculine
Ne / Nem / Nir / Nirs / Nirself (8 people)
Pronunciation: niː / nɛm / nɚ / nɚz / nɚsɛlf (nee / nem / ner / nerz / nerself)
Based on: Nonstandard They, with Feminine subject and possessive pronouns
Ne / Nem / Nems / Nems / Nemself (7 people)
Pronunciation: niː / nɛm / nɛmz / nɛmz / nɛmsɛlf (nee / nem / nemz / nemz / nemself)
Based on: Nouns
Spelling:
Subject - Ne (98), Nie (4), Ni (3)
Object - Nem (65), Nym (25), Nim (16)
Dep. Possessive - Nir (48), Neir (11), Nyr (10), Ner (7) | Nis (13), Nys (6) | Nems (3), Nims (3)
Ind. Possessive - Nirs (45), Neirs (11), Nyrs (9), Ners (5) | Nis (15), Nys (5) | Nems (5), Nims (4)
Reflexive - Nemself (68), Nymself (22), Nimself (15) | Nirself (5), Neirself (3), Nyrself (3)
Using them when talking:
Ne walked in and told me nir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed nem the name tags. Ne found nirs and put it on nemself.
Nonstandard sets:
Ne walked in and told me nis name was Chris. I said hi, and showed nim the name tags. Ne found nis and put it on nimself.
Ne walked in and told me nir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed nem the name tags. Ne found nirs and put it on nirself.
Ne walked in and told me nems name was Chris. I said hi, and showed nem the name tags. Ne found nems and put it on nemself.
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18. Kit, Cat Pronouns
The first of the animal based pronouns! People using animal based pronouns frequently alternate between multiple sets - based off animals (kit, bug), their sounds (meow, caw), and their body parts (paw). (103 people)
Usual Set:
Kit / Kit / Kits / Kits / Kitself (60 people)
Pronunciation: kɪt / kɪt / kɪts / kɪts / kɪtsɛlf (kit / kit / kits / kits / kitself)
Based on: Nouns (Kit/Kitty)
Nonstandard Sets:
Cat / Cat / Cats / Cats / Catself (23 people)
Pronunciation: kat / kat / kats / kats / katsɛlf (kat / kat / kats / kats / katself)
Based on: Nouns (Cat)
Spelling:
Subject - Kit (69) | Kitty (6) | Cat (23)
Object - Kit (64) | Kits (3) | Kitty (8) | Cat (23)
Dep. Possessive - Kits (65), Kit's (3) | Kittys (4), Kitty's (3) | Cats (18), Cat's (4)
Ind. Possessive - Kits (62), Kit's (4) | Kitty's (4) | Kittens (3) | Cats (17), Cat's (6)
Reflexive - Kitself (67) | Kittyself (4) | Kittenself (4) | Catself (23)
Using them when talking:
Kit walked in and told me kits name was Chris. I said hi, and showed kit the name tags. Kit found kits and put it on kitself.
Nonstandard sets:
Cat walked in and told me cats name was Chris. I said hi, and showed cat the name tags. Cat found cats and put it on catself.
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19. Pup Pronouns
(102 people)
Usual Set: Pup / Pup / Pups / Pups / Pupself (75 people)
Pronunciation: pʌp / pʌp / pʌps / pʌps / pʌpsɛlf (puhp / puhp / puhps / puhps / puhpself)
Based on: Nouns (Pup/Puppy)
Spelling:
Subject - Pup (85) | Dog (6), The Dog (5) | Mutt (4)
Object - Pup (75) | Pups (6)| Dog (5), The Dog (4) | Mutt (4)
Dep. Possessive - Pups (69), Pup's (12) | Dogs (3), The Dog's (4) | Mutts (4)
Ind. Possessive - Pups (69), Pup's (13) | Dogs (5), The Dog's (4) | Mutts (4)
Reflexive - Pupself (82) | Dogself (6) | Itself (4) | Muttself (4)
Using them when talking:
Pup walked in and told me pups name was Chris. I said hi, and showed pup the name tags. Pup found pups and put it on pupself.
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20. Vae Pronouns
Ve pronouns have endless variations! These ones use a subject form based on They, rather than He/She, and seem to be influenced by Ae and Fae pronouns. (91 people)
Usual Set:
Vae / Vaem / Vaer / Vaers / Vaemself (42 people)
Pronunciation: veɪ / vɛm / veɪɹ / veɪɹz / veɪmsɛlf (vay / vem / vayr / vayrz / vemself)
Based on: Singular They
Nonstandard Sets:
Vae / Vaer / Vaer / Vaers / Vaerself (27 people)
Pronunciation: veɪ / veɪɹ / veɪɹ / veɪɹz / veɪɹsɛlf (vay / vayr / vayr / vayrz / vayrself)
Based on: Feminine
Vae / Vaem / Vaer / Vaers / Vaerself (11 people)
Pronunciation: veɪ / vɛm / veɪɹ / veɪɹz / veɪɹsɛlf (vay / vem / vayr / vayrz / vayrself)
Based on: Nonstandard They
Spelling:
Subject - Vae (63), Vey (24)
Object - Vem (26), Vaem (22) | Vaer (28) | Vae (3)
Dep. Possessive - Vaer (59), Veir (14), Ver (4)
Ind. Possessive - Vaers (58), Veirs (14), Vers (5)
Reflexive – Vaerself (37), Veirself (4) | Vymself (20), Vaemself (16) | Vaeself (4)
Using them when talking:
Vae walked in and told me vaer name was Chris. I said hi, and showed vaem the name tags. Vae found vaers and put it on vaemself.
Nonstandard sets:
Vae walked in and told me vaer name was Chris. I said hi, and showed vaer the name tags. Vae found vaers and put it on vaerself.
Vae walked in and told me vaer name was Chris. I said hi, and showed vaem the name tags. Vae found vaers and put it on vaerself.
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21. Xey Pronouns
Xe pronouns also have a version based on They in the subject form. (91 people)
Usual Set:
Xey / Xem / Xeir / Xeirs / Xemself (37 people)
Pronunciation: zeɪ / zɛm / zeɪɹ / zeɪɹz / zeɪmsɛlf (zay / zem / zayr / zayrz / zemself)
Based on: Singular They
Nonstandard Sets:
Xey / Xem / Xeir / Xeirs / Xeirself (37 people)
Pronunciation: zeɪ / zɛm / zeɪɹ / zeɪɹz / zeɪɹsɛlf (zay / zem / zayr / zayrz / zayrself)
Based on: Nonstandard They
Xae / Xaem / Xaer / Xaers / Xaerself (11 people)
Pronunciation: zeɪ / zeɪɹ / zeɪɹ / zeɪɹz / zeɪɹsɛlf (zay / zayr / zayr / zayrz / zayrself)
Based on: Feminine
Spelling:
Subject - Xey (71), Xae (10)
Object - Xem (70), Xaem (4) | Xaer (4)
Dep. Possessive - Xeir (49), Xyr (12), Xaer (8), Xer (7), Xeyr (3)
Ind. Possessive - Xeirs (46), Xyrs (12), Xaers (7), Xers (7), Xeyrs (3)
Reflexive - Xemself (61), Xaemself (3) | Xeirself (5), Xaerself (4)
Using them when talking:
Xey walked in and told me xeir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed xem the name tags. Xey found xeirs and put it on xemself.
Nonstandard sets:
Xey walked in and told me xeir name was Chris. I said hi, and showed xem the name tags. Xey found xeirs and put it on xeirself.
Xae walked in and told me xaer name was Chris. I said hi, and showed xaer the name tags. Xae found xaers and put it on xaerself.
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22. Mew Pronouns
These pronouns often alternate with Kit/Cat pronouns, or other cat sounds like Nyan or Purr (89 people)
Usual Set:
Mew / Mew / Mews / Mews / Mewself (48 people)
Pronunciation: mjuː / mjuː / mjuːz / mjuːz / mjusɛlf (myoo / myoo / myooz / myooz / myooself)
Based on: Nouns (Mew)
Nonstandard Sets:
Meow / Meow / Meows / Meows / Meowself (27 people)
Pronunciation: mjaʊ or mi‧aʊ / mjaʊ / mjaʊz / mjaʊz / mjaʊsɛlf (myow / myow / myowz / myowz / myowself)
Based on: Nouns (Meow)
Spelling:
Subject - Mew (53) | Meow (29) | Mrr (3)
Object - Mew (49) | Meow (29) | Mrrp (4)
Dep. Possessive - Mews (47) | Meows (25), Meow's (4) | Mrrps (3)
Ind. Possessive - Mews (45) | Meows (27), Meow's (4) | Mrrps (3)
Reflexive - Mewself (50) | Meowself (31) | Mrrpself (3)
Using them when talking:
Mew walked in and told me mews name was Chris. I said hi, and showed mew the name tags. Mew found mews and put it on mewself.
Nonstandard sets:
Meow walked in and told me meows name was Chris. I said hi, and showed meow the name tags. Meow found meows and put it on meowself.
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23. Bun Pronouns
(71 people)
Usual Set:
Bun / Bun / Buns / Buns / Bunself (60 people)
Pronunciation: bʌn / bʌn / bʌnz / bʌnz / bʌnsɛlf (buhn / buhn / buhnz / buhnz / buhnself)
Based on: Nouns (Bunny)
Spelling:
Subject - Bun (69)
Object - Bun (69)
Dep. Possessive - Buns (59), Bun's (10)
Ind. Possessive - Buns (55), Bun's (10)
Reflexive - Bunself (68)
Using them when talking:
Bun walked in and told me buns name was Chris. I said hi, and showed bun the name tags. Bun found buns and put it on bunself.
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24. Indefinite Pronouns (One)
The 'formal' option - this is what grammarians used to suggest (64 people)
Usual Set:
One / One / One's / One's / Oneself (51 people)
Pronunciation: wʌn / wʌn / wʌnz / wʌnz / wʌnsɛlf (wuhn / wuhn / wuhnz / wuhnz / wuhnself)
Based on: Indefinite Pronoun
Spelling:
Subject - One (53), That One (7), This One (4)
Object - One (50), That One (8), This One (3)
Dep. Possessive - One's (30), Ones (23), That One's (6), This One's (3)
Ind. Possessive - One's (31), Ones (22), That One's (6)
Reflexive - Oneself (53), That One's Self (4)
Using them when talking:
One walked in and told me one's name was Chris. I said hi, and showed one the name tags. One found one's and put it on oneself.
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25. Moon/Lun Pronouns
(57 people)
Usual Set:
Moon / Moon / Moons / Moons / Moonself (32 people)
Pronunciation: muːn / muːn / muːnz / muːnz / muːnsɛlf (moon / moon / moonz / moonz / moonself)
Based on: Nouns (Moon)
Nonstandard sets:
Lun / Lun / Luns / Luns / Lunself (9 people)
Pronunciation: luːn / luːn / luːnz / luːnz / luːnsɛlf (loon / loon / loonz / loonz / loonself)
Based on: Nouns (Lunar)
Spelling:
Subject - Moon (33) | Lun (9) | Lu (8)
Object - Moon (33) | Lun (10) | Luna (6) | Lunar (3)
Dep. Possessive - Moons (26), Moon's (8) | Luns (12)
Ind. Possessive - Moons (26), Moon's (7) | Luns (12)
Reflexive - Moonself (34) | Lunself (12) | Lunaself (4)
Using them when talking:
Moon walked in and told me moons name was Chris. I said hi, and showed moon the name tags. Moon found moons and put it on moonself.
Nonstandard sets:
Lun walked in and told me luns name was Chris. I said hi, and showed lun the name tags. Lun found luns and put it on lunself.
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A note on defining sets:
Deciding what to consider a variant, and what to consider a different set altogether, wasn't easy.
Elverson and Spivak pronouns are mostly separated because of their history, and how (relatively) well known they are. I then tried to stay consistent, and separated things like 'ze' and 'zey' sets.
Animal and sound based nounself pronouns are grouped based on how difficult it was to separate them. A relatively high percentage of people wrote 'kit' and 'cat' forms into the same entry. Less people grouped 'mew' and 'nya' forms. And, while 'mew' and 'nya' forms were FREQUENTLY grouped with 'kit' and 'cat' forms, I kept them separate for my own sanity.
I am also VERY glad that 'sie/sier' pronouns didn't make the top 25. 'Sie', 'se', 'sea', 'ce', and 'ke' are probably unsortable without talking to their users individually. (There's at least three pronunciations in there - 'zee', see' and 'kee'!) But I love the 4 people using 'sir' as a pronoun. That amuses me!
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Isat chatfic pt3
4:34 pm
*MIRABELLE PLUMS added Isabeau, Odile and Petronille*
Petronille: WHAT THE CRAB WAS THAT
MIRABELLE: I don’t know!
Odile: What do we do now?
MIRABELLE: well, first, we need to figure out where the crab he is
Petronille: He ran into the forest.
I think he went past our tents
MIRABELLE: phew, ok should I do it?
Odile: yes.
Petronille: Yeah
Isabeau: ok
MIRABELLE: her goes
*MIRABELLE PLUMS added Siffrin*
Siffrin: I'm sorry
MIRABELLE:We don't want an apology!!!!! How is that the first thing you think of?!
Siffrin: sorry
Petronille: ok, that doesn't matter where the crab are you?
Siffrin: I don't know
Odile: surroundings?
Siffrin: trees
MIRABELLE: OF COURSE THERE ARE TREES WERE IN A FOREST
siffrin: sorry
MIRABELLE: anything else?
Siffrin: a brick ruin?
Odile: That's something…
Petronille: anything else?
Siffrin: a
Uhh no.
Isabeau: We'll try to find you.
Siffrin: ok…
Petronille: Don’t move around
Siffrin: Ok
MIRABELLE: We love you. Don’t! you! dare! forget! That!
Siffrin: Thanks ilyt
Isabeau: <3
8:31 pm
Star: We should name this gc its just all our names
Mira: Yeah
*Nille renamed the chat to The Bozos + Odile and Mira*
Nille: yeeaa
Star: yeeaa
Isa: Yeeaa
Mira: ?
Nille: Shhhhhhhh
Bonbon: OK
WHAT DID YOU DO FRIN
WHAT WAS THE ADOLTS ONLY TALK
Odile: *adults
Bonbon: ADULTS
Star: I freaked out and ran away
Bonbon: I KOW THAT DUMMY
Star: Ok.. It was because smth reminded me of the loops
Bonbon: so you got flashbacks to the endless school
Star: yeah
Mira: and so they ran off
Bonbon: LIKE A DUMMY
Star: Sorry
Nille: Hold up
*Nille went offline*
Star: WHAT IN THE BLINDING STARS WHY DID NILLE JUST SMACK ME
*Nille came online*
Nille: You deserved that!
Star: WHAT DI I DO
Nille: NO MORE APOLOGIES
Star: OK???? STARS ABOVE WOMAN CALM DOWN
Mirabelle: :0
Isa: What
Mira: Theres. A rat
Inside my room
Bonbon: COOK IT
Star: Im coming
Nille: ???????????????
Star: Mira is it threatening you
Mira: A little? Im scared of rats so…
Star: IM GOING TO MURDER IT
Mira: Thank you
Star: I WILLNOT LET IT HARM YOU OK
Mira: Thats not really necessary
Star: I COULDNT CARE LESS
(YOU NEED TO HELP ME FIND THE IBUPROFEN)
*Odile came online*
Odile: second drawer to the left in the bathroom, in the blue box.
*Odile went offline*
Isa: Did she just?
Nille: She just came on to tell us wher the Ibuprofen is wtc?
Isa: yeah…
Nille: thx ig?
8: 37 pm
Isa: Sif? Mira? How are you?
Star: IT RAN AWAY
Mira: They started insulting it
Halfway through it started to sound like they were targeted at themself
Star: NO COMMENT
Isa: Sif is your capslock stuck again
Star: YES
Isa: Ill be ther in a second
Star: THANK YOU
Nille: that sounds so pathetic
Like you can hear how he said the thank you
Because weve all heard that thank you from him
Mira: That was funnier than it shouldve been
Star: My capslock is offff
Im freeeeee
My cage has been openeddddddd
Isa: Sif ina birdcage….
Bonbon: Birdfrin
Isa: Birdfrin
Mira: Birdfrin
Nille: Birdfrin
*Mira changed Star’s name to Birdfrin*
Birdfrin: WHYYYYYYY
Nille: Better idea
*Nille changed Birdfrin’s name to cats on the stars*
Cats on the stars: :)
Isa: Huh
Mira: Why?
Nille: Hey hes kinda like a cat ok?
Cat + Star obsession = our favourite little guy
Mira: … smart…
Bonbon: Get over here dinners ready losers (Spicy! spaghetti)
Isa: Changeeeeeeee whyyy
Cats on the stars: ill eat it if you dont want it
Isa: well see ok
Nille: Read: I will take two forkfuls and then give it to you silently while staring aggresivly at the table
Mira: hehhe
Nille: hehe (Theyre so)
Mira: Yeah
Isa: Are you two done making fun of our very serious dilemma
Nille: Boy it is spaghetti get over it
*Cats on the stars and four other went offline*
#in stars and time#isat siffrin#isat spoilers#isat isabeau#isat#isat isafrin#isat bonnie#isat mirabelle#isat petronille#isat odile#isat chatfic#told you it would get worse#not to bad tho#had a way worse og idea for this#like wayyyyy worse#in a traumatizing way#school starts next week#for me#and I havent finished my summer homework#but hey I made friends#( new school check)#tag vent#ish#Good luck with chapter 4#Love you guys <3#this came early 4 yall#because I love you guys and I need extra time for ch 4
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Demystifying Splatband Signatures
Recently I've seen people talking about Acht and Paul's signatures apparently being right next to each other on a Grandfest banner. I really want to believe it bc that's adorable, but after spending entirely too long digging for a source, making spreadsheets, and attempting to identify each signature for myself I've concluded that it's most likely not true :(
full ramble below. get ready for an autism blast
So to start. It's probably decently well known at this point that the signatures outside Hotlantis correspond to every artist that had battle music in Splatoon 1 and 2. However, if you tally up the number of band members (36) vs the apparent number of signatures (37), we wind up with one mystery signature.
After skimming the artbooks and Inkipedia I didn't find anything officially matching any signature to any specific characters (besides the idols), but online I found two fanmade charts attempting to do it themselves. One by @/inaRNP on Twitter in August 2022 (which is missing one signature, and assigns the mystery sig to Karen), and another that circulated on Discord before being reposted to Tumblr in November 2022. This second one seems to be where the idea that the mystery signature belongs to Dedf1sh comes from. It definitely seems more likely than it being Bob Dub or something.
HOWEVER. Acht's lore in Side Order heavily contradicts this theory. In all likelihood they were autopiloting around the Deepsea Metro from the end of OE right up until they got pulled into the Memverse, never coming anywhere close to Hotlantis. It is possible that it was intended to be theirs but plans changed, as technically SO's plot wasn't nailed down at Splatoon 3's launch, but to that I point to Haikara Walker. If they were intended to have escaped the Metro after OE, then they likely wouldn't have opened at the Low Water Party. (page 261 if you don't know what that is)
But with the signature's reappearance on the Grandfest banners, I think I've worked out exactly what happened here.
According to the charts, these are the signatures of Paul and Taichi. Both were noticeably redrawn for their appearance on the Team Past banner, and I think that's the key to solving this whole mystery. Redesigning Paul's makes sense; he was a kid when he did the first one and he's a teen now. Of course his handwriting would change. But why redesign Taichi's?
Or, what if what we thought was Taichi's signature was actually just part of Paul's the whole time?
That would bring the amount of Hotlantis signatures down to 36, meaning there was never an extra signature to begin with, and the mystery signature simply belongs to a member of Sashimori.
Of course, that still doesn't explain why it's so far away from the other Sashimori members. But then again, Paul's is also pretty far away. Maybe there just wasn't enough room to group them together like everyone else ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Plus, it's next to everyone else's on the Grandfest banner. Speaking of which...
Here's my guesses as to whose signatures are whose on the banners, including the new ones. forgive the microsoft paint
Things to note:
I can't actually tell how many new signatures are on the Team Present banner. I just circled all of them and called it Yoko & the Gold Bazookas, but there are only four Y&tGB members that aren't also in Ink Theory and there definitely seem to be more than four signatures there. we might have an actual mystery signature on our hands this time
Front Roe's sigs are different than the ones on Hotlantis, but I'm confident it's them because they all have 00X (as in 003Soss) worked into them.
dot--png pointed out in the comments that one of the signatures I guessed was Riot Act seems to have a doodle of a squid, so that might actually be Beika's
Team Past doesn't have any Splatoon 3 characters on it, which makes sense now that I think about it
i made a whole ass spreadsheet to help me figure this out and i feel like it would be a waste not to link it here
#watch bankara walker have a page spelling everything out lmao#splatoon 3#splatoon#grand festival#splatbands#splatoon lore#paul splatoon#acht splatoon#dedf1sh#sashimori#hewk babbles#sploon
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ANSWERING THESE 70 QUESTIONS
(but my dr self!)
01: Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Sure, they dont really care ehat i do so thats nice
02: Who did you last say “I love you” to?
my girlfrienddd
03: Do you regret anything?
Moving to america wahh (even though it wasnt my choice)
04: Are you insecure?
not really
05: What is your relationship status?
taken <33
06: How do you want to die?
eithee in a super cool awesome way or at my own hands /hj
07: What did you last eat?
cant remember
08: Played any sports?
i like to play hockey sometimes
09: Do you bite your nails?
nope
10: When was your last physical fight?
cant remember
11: Do you like someone?
My girlfrienndd
12: Have you ever stayed up 48 hours?
Yep
13: Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Annoying ppl at school
14: Do you miss someone?
Not really tbh
15: Have any pets?
yes! my cat elivera
16: How exactly are you feeling at the moment?
Tired
17: Ever made out in the bathroom?
Wouldnt you like to know
18: Are you scared of spiders?
Nope
19: Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
Maybe
20: Where was the last place you snogged someone?
What does that even mean bruh
21: What are your plans for this weekend?
sleep and play elden rings
22: Do you want to have kids? How many?
NO
23: Do you have piercings? How many?
snake bites would be cool
24: What is/are/were your best subject(s)?
Anything science or music
25: Do you miss anyone from your past?
nope, but maybe my friends from my hometown when i was little
26: What are you craving right now?
Some zaxbys
27: Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
never
28: Have you ever been cheated on?
Nope, my girlfriend is my first (and only) relationship
29: Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
i dont think so
30: What’s irritating you right now?
School 100%
31: Does somebody love you?
My girlfriend
32: What is your favourite color?
Grey, any shade of grey
33: Do you have trust issues?
A tiny bit
34: Who/what was your last dream about?
Cant remember
35: Who was the last person you cried in front of?
My online friend
36: Do you give out second chances too easily?
Sometimes
37: Is it easier to forgive or forget?
Forget
38: Is this year the best year of your life?
I cherish every year
39: How old were you when you had your first kiss?
13??? maybe 14
40: Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
No, and never plan to
51: Favourite food?
SOUP 🔥🔥 any kind i love soup
52: Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Yes
53: What is the last thing you did before you went to bed last night?
Probably jerk off scroll instagram reels
54: Is cheating ever okay?
No never
55: Are you mean?
I wouldnt say i am
56: How many people have you fist fought?
Idfk
57: Do you believe in true love?
Yes
58: Favourite weather?
RAIN, or cloudy days. i like the cold
59: Do you like the snow?
yes 100%
60: Do you wanna get married?
To my girlfriend yes
61: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Only when its my girlfriend
62: What makes you happy?
My friends, Alcohol, My girlfriend
63: Would you change your name?
No
64: Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Nope
65: Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Pepper spray, im locked in with my girl
66: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
Not really
67: Who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
My mom
68: Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
My girlfriend
69: Do you believe in soulmates?
Yes
70: Is there anyone you would die for?
My girlfriend or my friends
(feel free to take this idea too!!)
#reality shifting#shiftblr#shifters#shifting community#desired reality#shifting antis dni#shifting motivation#shifting blog#shifting stories#original dr rambles
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A Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles episode order
There wasn't any correct viewing order online, so I just made one myself.
Season 1:
Ep 1: Mystic Mayhem
Ep 2: Origami Tsunami/Donnie's Gifts
Ep 3: War and Pizza/Down with the Sickness
Ep 4: Newsworthy/Minotaur Maze
Ep 5: Repo Mantis/Hypno! Part Deux!
Ep 6: Shell in a Cell/The Fast and the Furriest
Ep 7: Mascot Melee/The Longest Fight
Ep 8: Bug Busters
Ep 9: The Gumbus/Stuck on You
Ep 10: The Purple Jacket/Portal Jacked!
Ep 11: Mrs Cuddles/Hot Soup: The Game
Ep 12: Smart Lair/Pizza Pit
Ep 13: The Evil League of Mutants
Ep 14: Late Fee/Bullhop
Ep 15: Al Be Back/Nothing But Truffle
Ep 16: The Purple Game/You Got Served
Ep 17: Shadow of Evil
Ep 18: Man Vs Sewer/Mystic Library
Ep 19: Mind Meld/One Man's Junk
Ep 20: Sparring Partner/Warren and Hypno, Sitting in a Tree
Ep 21: Turtle-Dega Nights: The Ballad of Rat Man/Operation Normal
Ep 22: The Mutant Menace/The Ancient Art of Hide and Seek
Ep 23: Snow Day/How to Make Enemies and People Bend to Your Will
Ep 24: Cloak and Swaggart/Jupiter Jim Ahoy!
Ep 25: Insane in the Mama Train
Ep 26: Endgame
Season 2:
Ep 27: Many Unhappy Returns
Ep 28: Todd Scouts/Goyles, Goyles, Goyles
Ep 29: Flushed But Never Forgotten/Lair Games
Ep 30: Breaking Purple/Repairin' The Baron
Ep 31: Air Turtle/Pizza Puffs
Ep 32: Sidekick Ahoy!/Always Be Brownies
Ep 33: Mystery Meat/Hidden City Job
Ep 34: Donnie Vs Witch Town/Raph's Ride Along
Ep 35: Hidden City's Most Wanted/Bad Hair Day
Ep 36: Fists Of Furry/The Clothes Don't Make the Turtles
Ep 37: Battle Nexus: New York
Ep 38: E-Turtle Sunshine of the Spotless Mind/Shreddy or Not
Ep 39: Anatawa Hitorijanai/Rise
This is a condensed version of one I made on Reddit (removing the essentials list, an alternate episode order, explanation of episode placement, etc), in case anyone sees any similarity between this post and that one. I'm confident that season 1's first half (at least everything before Bug Busters) is in a suitable order, but the second half is definitely up in the air about where the episodes go. Leave any comments if you notice something is out of order.
#rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles#rottmnt#tmnt 2018#episode guide#episode order#episodes#tmnt#rise of the tmnt
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youtube
Introducing Buyist Pro: The powerful AI-powered eCommerce platform that simplifies online selling.
In this introduction, we are going to discuss how Buyist Pro uses AI to:
Performs comprehensive site audits in seconds
Offers tailored SEO suggestions
Creates product bundles based on customer data
Provides in-depth sales analysis
Watch as we demonstrate Buyist Pro's ability to streamline eCommerce operations, catch hidden issues, and make data-driven recommendations.
CHAPTERS
0:00 Intro
0:20 The Problem With eCommerce Today
1:10 What is Buyist Pro?
1:37 Testing Your eCommerce Website With Buyist Pro
2:17 How to Use Buyist Pro AI
4:38 Analyze Sales Metrics With Buyist Pro AI
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The Birthday Wish
This story was written a few years ago as a special birthday gift for @bizzhideaway, but I decided to post it publicly just in time to celebrate another birthday of his.
As Bryce arrived home from a belated birthday celebration with some friends, the 5’11” man was understandably confused by the large birthday cake sitting on his front doorstep. While he certainly didn’t mind getting any late birthday gifts, Bryce was unsure who could have been responsible for the cake. He had just spent the evening out with his entire friend group, so the identity behind the mysterious cake only confused the man further.
But as he grabbed the cake and unlocked his door, he soon found some relief in a small envelope taped to the side of the box. Upon setting the cake down on his counter, the recently turned 37-year-old was quick to snatch the envelope and pull out the card within it. “Here’s to a life-changing birthday Bryce! Make sure that you make a wish, you never know if it could come true… ;)” the card read, signed off with the name Nate, which caused Bryce to finally connect some dots. For days now, his online friend Nate had vowed to send him a birthday gift, but given his friend’s scatterbrained mind, Bryce hadn’t really expected anything to come from his friend given the fact that he had lived on the other side of the country. But while Bryce thought it was sweet that his online friend had found the time to send him a gift, he found himself now having more questions rather than answers, with the main one being in regards to how Nate was able to find out Bryce’s address.
While he was certainly planning on asking all of his questions to his friend as soon as he got back onto his computer, there was a perfectly good cake demanding his attention and he was not willing to wait a second longer! So as he quickly flicked on the TV in his living room and switched the channel to ESPN to catch up on the highlights of the day, the man searched around his kitchen for a lighter. Giving a smile to himself after finding one, the man finally began to light the numbered candles as he watched the game highlights and tried to figure out his perfect wish.
To Bryce’s both relief and joy, the TV revealed that one of his favorite teams (the Los Angeles Rams) had an impressive game, beating the New York Giants by an incredibly wide margin. Although there were many hunks in the NFL, Bryce constantly found himself impressed by (and jealous of) all of the hotness in the Rams locker room. Not only did the team have some of the man’s biggest athletic crushes, such as Cooper Kupp and Aaron Donald, but the team was led by his favorite head coach Sean McVay.
While there were some clear differences between himself and Sean, Bryce loved most of all the fact that he was now the same age as his favorite coach. At 37 years old, Sean was in peak physical form while leading the Rams to be a strong contender in the NFC West division. Sure, all of the money and the respect he inherited from the position was admirable and something Bryce longed for himself, but none of that compared to the man’s impressive body.
With a strong nose and stubble that seemed to be permanently stuck in a 5 o’clock shadow, Sean had an impressive visage that was often the cause of many fantasies that Bryce had after watching the coach’s press conferences and interviews. But not only was the man’s face impressive as his entire body was well-maintained as well. His abs remained quite prominent on his aged frame and even his pectorals and biceps seemed incredibly youthful on Sean’s body. With a physique like that, it was no wonder that the man was able to get an equally gorgeous Ukrainian fiancé!
Thinking about all of Sean’s hunky features along with his general attraction towards Aaron and Cooper, Bryce quickly knew what he wanted his wish to be. While he had spent most of his other birthday wishes on serious things like wishing to have a vacation away from work and going on a great hike, Bryce figured he could at least make one joke wish for his own enjoyment. He knew that none of the wishes would come true anyway, so why would it matter if he spent this one on something impossible? With his mind made up, Bryce finally began to state his wish aloud. “I wish I was a part of the Los Angeles Rams,” the man said, closing his eyes as he took a big inhale of air. After waiting a few seconds, the man finally began to exhale and let the warm air blow out his candles so he could finally eat some cake and relax on the couch.
However, as soon as Bryce exhaled, an ear-splitting mix of loud voices began to permeate through the man’s residence. Opening his eyes to figure out what was going on, the man’s face went agape as he suddenly found himself surrounded by men either completely shirtless or clad in football gear. In his shock, the man understandably looked around the room to try and figure out where he was and how he got there. But as he saw the Rams logo and the various jerseys of the players popping up in his vision, Bryce soon began to realize that the impossible had occurred: his dream had come true!
Looking down to check out the reasoning behind the weight settled on his forearms, Bryce was greeted to the sight of a large cake celebrating the team’s win against the Giants. Luckily before he could drop it due to the pure shock of the situation, the cake was quickly plucked from his arms by some assistant coaches so they could cut some pieces and feed the hungry and rowdy hunks. Still in a pure state of disbelief, Bryce took the opportunity to move towards the corner of the locker room so he could try to wrap his head around what was going on.
As he looked down and caught sight of his arms, it was immediately clear to the man that he wasn’t in his real body. There was a tightness and an inner power coursing through his body that he could immediately identify any time he did something as simple as scratching his upper arms or any other nervous tic he had. Due to this understanding, Bryce then decided to try to deduce the person whose body he is currently inhabiting. So, one-by-one, the transformed man began to do a mental roll call of who he saw in front of him to narrow down the roster.
Continuing to stare as a mob of people flooded the middle of the locker room to pick up some cake, Bryce narrowed his eyes as he scanned the room for any familiar faces. He saw the Rams quarterback Matthew Stafford making small talk with the burly hunk Aaron Donald, which had actually made him feel a bit bummed about not being in his impressively buff body. But even through the sadness, just the sight of the man was enough to elicit a physical response in Bryce’s new body as his dick began to rise and press against the fabric of the pants he was now wearing. Scanning through the crowd further, he finally noticed Cooper Kupp’s blond hair standing out against the sea of blue and yellow helmets of players eager to get cake. With so many potential candidates slimmed down to next to no one in the roster, Bryce was able to quickly figure out who he was now: he was in the body of Sean McVay.
As if on cue, Cooper approached Bryce before saying a simple “Here you go Coach” and handing him a plate of cake with a smile on his face. It was insane to think that he was now just fully in control of McVay’s body, especially since it was someone who he had thirsted over for so many years and someone who clearly had the respect of the team’s star wide receiver. After thanking the blond-haired hunk, the new head coach awkwardly made his way out of the populated locker room and towards the office connected to it. Upon pulling the door of Sean’s office shut and closing the blinds, Bryce began to try to wrap his head around the situation once more.
Pacing around the room in a hectic mental state, Bryce tried to understand how this was possible. All he did was make a wish on that cake from Nate… the cake that had a card telling him to make sure he made a wish! Was it possible that his friend somehow had caused this? If it really happened, what exactly did Nate do to him? Was this just a simple body swap or did Bryce just fully become Sean McVay to the point where his original identity was removed from this universe? If it was a real body swap though, Bryce couldn’t help but wonder how the real Sean was dealing with being in his body…
Stopping while being deep in thought, Bryce soon found his attention shifting as he caught sight of a mirror hanging on the wall of Sean’s office. Moving towards it and leaning in, Bryce was understandably excited and turned on by what he saw since it only confirmed what he had already known: he was truly Sean McVay! With glee, he ran his thicker and wider hands along his face as he studied and marveled the new features he possessed. As he flashed a smile and chuckled to himself, Bryce was clearly impressed by the pure white set of teeth that were now being shown off. While he certainly loved his old body, he couldn’t deny that being Sean was an absolute dream come true!
Feeling eager to check himself out further, Bryce peeled himself out of the coach’s blue Rams shirt and stared in amazement at his impressive new physique. For years, he had tried to get a physique similar to what Sean possessed, but no matter how hard he worked out or dieted, Bryce found himself unable to gain the same type of meaty pecs and defined abdominals that were proudly displayed on Sean’s body. As he cupped the muscles that were his new biceps and smirked at just how strong he now was, his new manhood was clearly enjoying the show as well and eager for him to give it some form of release. “Fuck, you’re one sexy hunk,” Bryce purred, his new somewhat raspy voice clearly furthering the throbbing in the man’s dick.
But as he moved towards the window and peeked through the blinds, he couldn’t help but allow himself to start thirsting over these players he had crushed on. Aaron was now shirtless and walking around the somewhat-emptying locker room, showing off that wide and strong physique of his. While Cooper clearly wasn’t as built and defined as Aaron, the sight of his perky ass and strong quad muscles was still quite enough to get the new head coach riled up and eager to experiment with the players. Although he knew that Sean was engaged to a woman, Bryce was absolutely willing to risk it all to get some more alone time with his favorite players. Maybe he could get them to stay back after everyone else leaves and they could continue the post-game celebration in the team sauna…
“Hey coach, the press is waiting for you!” a disembodied voice says, interrupting Bryce from his kinky train of thought.
Turning to the side to stare at the smaller assistant coach, Bryce was understandably flustered and unsure of how to explain why the head coach was suddenly shirtless and staring through the blinds of his office. “Thanks, I’ll head out there soon…” Bryce awkwardly said, which was enough to get the assistant coach to leave so Bryce could figure out what to do. While the previous incidents of thinking about what to do had caused intense mental quandaries, this time was quite simple for the man. There was only one thing for him to do now: be Sean McVay. While he didn’t know if the change was permanent or not, Bryce wasn’t willing to waste any more time overthinking about what’s going to happen. He was going to live in the moment and be Sean McVay both physically and mentally. So, with a pep in his step, the man quickly pulled on his t-shirt while staring into the mirror one last time (at least for the next hour or so until he could better check himself out).
Admiring himself was quite the vain thing to do, but as Bryce flexed and watched his biceps strain against the fabric of his sleeves and his pectorals proudly jut out from his chest, he couldn’t blame himself for such vanity! He was an absolute hunk in every way, and as a result, he was willing to let all of his previous reservations fall to the wayside and embrace his new identity. As Sean McVay, he was going to put in intense amounts of effort to help train these players to be the best they could be. There was an inner drive building up in the man, so much so that he was now beginning to think about just how great it would be to add a Super Bowl ring to his jewelry collection. Hell, with such an impressive ring like that on his fingers, he may have a reason to repaint his nails to be a lighter shade of blue to match the team’s colors next season. With the clarity of being a hunky coach, Bryce knew that there was nothing wrong with being proud of his team and showcasing his admiration for the team in any way he wanted (even if it could be viewed as “feminine”). He was in the body of one of the manliest men he’d ever seen, so he knew that he could easily get away with anything given his impressive build and intimidating appearance.
With a wide grin permanently spread across his gorgeous face, the new Sean McVay made his way out of the office and allowed the other coaches to lead the way towards the post-game press conference. He certainly had a lot to brag about now, and due to this, he was eternally grateful for the new life he had been gifted from his friend.
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DEAR SPIDER AUTISTICS IN NORTH AMERICA!!!!!! GET "COMMON SPIDERS OF NORTH AMERICA" BY RICHARD A. BRADLEY!!!!!! I! CRIED!! I LOVE IT!! It's kinda expensive (24-37$) but I got mine second hand (🗣🗣🗣YOU CAN GET SECOND HAND BOOKS ONLINE🗣🗣🗣). It has a lot of fun text and imagery! :3
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