#A great new feature is that the sex scenes between real life members of The Beatles are drawn way the fuck out by the scene

[prolibytherium]

This 1,336,866 word The Beatles fanfiction is my white whale

[countryclubstarkey]

First Time - Rudy Pankow (Smut)

Not My Gif

Pairings: Rudy Pankow x Reader; Some JJ Maybank x Y/C/N

Warnings: NSFW, Smut, Virgin Reader, Dry Humping, Oral Sex (Female Receiving). 

Word Count: 2.5k+

Y/C/N = Your Character’s name.

A/N: This request, I hope you like it, sorry it took some time! I didn’t mean to make it this long LOL. 

Getting the job as JJ Maybank’s love interest is a blessing and a punishment at the same time. JJ is a very sexually active character, and that means so is your character. This results in a few steamy scenes between you and Rudy. 

The downside is that you have zero experience when it comes to sex, you’ve had a few boyfriends, but the furthest you’ve gone is some hardcore french kissing. Rudy, on the other hand, is a sex god; some of the stories that you’ve heard by accident made your face as red as JJ’s baseball cap. 

Today is one of those days where JJ and Y/C/N have an intense makeout session with some humping as Jonas put it. You’re currently in the hair and makeup trailer, getting some final touch-ups before you’re called on set. 

“Hey y/n, you ready?” Rudy asks as he walks into the trailer, startling you slightly. 

Avoiding his eyes by looking at your lap instead. “Ya, I’m just kind of nervous.” You answer truthfully. Rudy’s joyful laughter fills the trailer. 

He grabs your hands brushing them innocently to calm down your nerves, “Don’t worry, sweetheart, if you feel uncomfortable at any time, I want you to tell me okay?” 

Standing up, you adjust the two-piece swimsuit; you’re wearing for the scene and follow Rudy’s lead to set. He holds your hand the entire time, brushing it gently with his thumb making you relax and more prepared than before. 

“You guys ready?” Jonas asks the two of you. Taking your nods as a simple answer of yes, everyone gets into position. 

“And Action.” 

Start of Characters scene -------------------------------------

“JJ, John B is going to walk in at any minute,” you tell your boyfriend of five months as he continues to kiss down your neck. 

Pulling you onto his lap on John B’s couch, “I know baby, but you look so hot in that bikini and you know I can’t control myself.” You start grinding against him, trying to create some friction as his lips passionately make their way onto yours.

One hand moves to your hips to help you move further, as his other palms your breasts through your top. Your nipples start to harden as you move your body closer to him by wrapping your arms around his arm. 

“Fuck, you’re going to make me cum in my pants,” he moans in your mouth, speeding up his own actions. Your core feels hot as his hands travel to your inner thighs before landing on your behind instead. Feeling him grow harder as his solid bulge presses against your center encouraging your actions to speed up. 

His mouth finds its way to your neck and breasts, leaving sloppy kisses as his hands go to untie your top. 

“What the fuck are you guys doing on my couch,” John B yells at the two of you, causing you to break apart landing on opposite sides of the couch.

End of Characters scene -------------------------------------

“And Cut, we’re done for the day guys enjoy your night,” Jonas yells. 

Trying to fix your outfit a little, you immediately become self-conscious from being exposed to a room full of people. Rudy observes your actions and puts his jacket around you. He wraps his arms around your waist before guiding you towards your trailer following you inside. 

“You good?” He asks when you finally reach a private setting. Rudy has always had a soft spot for you, and over the past few weeks, you’ve gotten especially close. He’s taken you on a few dates, but hasn’t asked you to be official yet and all of the guys have been teasing him about it. 

“Ya, I just have never done that before in real life or on set,” you mumble shyly. Rudy tilts your chin upwards, so you meet his eyes before leaning in for a sweet kiss. It’s different from any kiss you’ve had on set, this one is passionate, loving and innocent. Pulling away after a few seconds, Rudy is smiling widely admiring your beautiful features. Brushing your hair away, he kisses your forehead before speaking up. 

“I don’t care what you’ve done or haven’t, I just want to be able to call you mine.” Rudy whispers, not ready for your reaction. 

Leaning in, you return your lips to his, revealing your answer through the kiss, “Consider it done Pankow.” 

Rudy picks up your body, your legs wrap around his waist, kissing him as he strolls to your couch before settling down with you on his lap. His hands stay on your waist not wanting to pressure you into anything without your consent. 

“I want more,” You mumble against Rudy’s lips. He pulls away making sure that you actually want things to go further, “Are you sure?” 

You respond by taking his jacket off leaving you in your bikini only. He admires your body for a few seconds before pulling your lips back on his own. 

“Let me try something then.” He tells you while flipping your body so that you’re lying down with Rudy above you. 

Appreciating your body before doing anything, Rudy leans down, kissing every inch of your body making you feel like you’re on fire. Starting at your lips and playfully fighting with your tongue, he pulls away when he feels your breathing uneven. 

Going lower, his wet tongue runs circles on your neck as his cool breath calms your body down a bit. He bites and nips at the skin to mark your neck, leaving some sort of pattern that you have to check later. Soothing the skin after, with soft kisses, his mouth makes contact with your breasts.

“Can I?” he ushers towards your straps, giving him a needy nod. He pulls at the strings leaving your breasts exposed to him for the first time. Having the need to cover them right away, Rudy senses your actions and gathers your hands in his own, putting them above your head, “You’re beautiful, don't hide from me.” 

Your nipples harden because of the cold air and your arousal. Rudy alternates between rubbing one of your breasts in his hand, while his mouth occupies the other. Leaving the same marks that are on your neck, his tongue brushes past your nipple, making your body ache towards him. Finally, feeling satisfied with his work, he decides to move towards your most delicate parts. Kissing down your stomach, he reaches the hem of your bottoms. Looking into your eyes asking for permission, you hesitantly nod at him because of the new experience. 

Slipping your bottoms down your legs, he lands between your legs, admiring your pussy like he just found gold. Your legs tighten around his body, but he grabs them, forcing them apart.

“You’re soaking baby,” he tells you before blowing on your slit, making your body shudder. Teasing your entrance with one finger, he spreads your wetness around. Then, he focuses on your clit for the first, “Have you ever made yourself cum?” he curiously asks. 

“A few times, but it wasn’t that good.” You answer your body honestly in desperate need to be properly touched. 

Rudy smirks at you, “Good, I’ll make you feel real good princess.” Slowly thrusting one finger in, he feels you tense around him. He wraps his mouth around your clit to make the action easier as you relax in his arms, making him thrust into you easier. 

“F-uck, that feels good,” you whimper. His other hands knead your breasts, and he playfully flicks your sensitive nipples. 

In desperate need of more, “Please Rudy, do more.” 

He adds another finger to your center, and your body welcomes him with ease as your wetness allows him to slip in easily. His mouth continues working on your clit; he alternates between kitten licking the bud and furiously licking it to pleasure you further. The addition of his finger and mouth causes an unfamiliar feeling to build up in your stomach.

Rudy keeps a steady rhythm between fingering you and licking your clit as you feel your stomach snap, “F-uck, fuck I’m going to cum,” your screams fill the room. 

“Go ahead baby, let me taste you.” Your toes curl as you grip Rudy’s hair when you cum all over Rudy’s fingers and tongue. Your legs shake around his head as he continues lapping up your juices, working you through your orgasm. 

“Good job, baby girl.” 

A few months later --------------------------------------------

You’ve made it official with Rudy a few months ago, and everything has been going great. He treats you with respect, never pressures you into anything and always takes you on new adventures exploring something new. 

Tonight, you finally decided to ask Rudy to take your virginity, you trust him and know that he will never do something that you don’t want. 

You bought a red lingerie set a few days ago with the girls, and they teased you all day about it, but they also made sure you were ready and comfortable with everything. 

Currently, Rudy is chilling on his bed as you excused yourself to go to the bathroom. Taking off your clothes, you admire how the dark red set compliments your skin, making you feel sexier than usual. Walking out, you stop in front of Rudy’s eyes as his jaw drops from the sight taking in how perfect you look. Standing up, he walks towards you, “Baby, are you trying to kill me, you look so beautiful.” You crash your lips against his appreciating how great he is, making you feel beautiful tonight and every single day of your relationship. 

“I’m ready, Rudy,” you whisper. His eyes widen as he steps back to comprehend your request.

Cupping your face, “Are you sure, baby?” You place his hand over your clothed mound, so he feels how much you desire him. 

Getting his answer, Rudy takes his clothes off as soon as possible before pushing you onto the bed. Admiring your body one more time, he takes off your lingerie leaving you bare in his arms, “As much as I love this set on your body, I love your naked body even more.” 

You palm him through his briefs as your eyes widen from how hard he is and how big he feels under your tiny hands, “Don’t worry, baby, we’ll make it fit.” He winks at you. Your body develops in giggles making you feel no longer tense. 

His hand joins yours as he helps you pull his member out. It immediately slaps against his belly button, almost hitting you in the process. Rudy is definitely above average as his cock is defined with veins, his red tip is begging for attention as it drips with pre-cum. Leaning forward, you try to lick his member, but he pulls away before you make contact.

“I want tonight to be about you, we can do this later.” Rudy grabs your waist and puts you underneath him as he hovers over your body. His hands wander all-around, rubbing your breasts, hips, waist, and ass. Brushing his hand over your clit, he feels how wet you are already. Spreading your wetness around, he teases your clit for a little while palming your breasts trying to get you ready as possible. Feeling ready, “Please, Rudy, I need your cock,” you desperately whimper trying to find friction against his thigh. He reaches over to his drawer and grabs a condom with a bottle of lube. 

“Can I do it?” You ask, gesturing towards the condom. He eagerly nods his head as you rip the packet open. You pinch the tip and slide it down his length, making sure it’s on right. He looks slightly in shock from your knowledge of condoms. 

“I guess those sex-ed classes came in handy,” you tease him slapping his chest playfully. He lubes up the condom, and finally you can feel his member rub against your clit. 

“It’s going to hurt a little, are you ready?” Rudy asks you with his sweet eyes. Nodding your head at him, he pushes in, immediately stopping when he sees the discomfort on your face. 

“I’m okay, keep going,” you reassure him. He slowly goes inch by inch, stopping for a little when he notices you wince or tense up. After a few minutes, you feel him reach the bottom, making you feel fuller than you have ever been. 

Rudy rubs your clit to distract you and ease your pain; he prevents himself from hissing by your constant clenching. Trying to control himself from finishing too early, he rubs your clit faster and kneads your breasts. 

“Can I move?” He asks in a shaky tone. Giving him a nod of reassurance, Rudy begins thrusting into you at a desperate pace. His hand never leaves your clit as he wants you to feel pleasure as soon as possible, “Go faster.” 

His thrusts move faster than before as you feel the pain turn into pleasure with his thrust until the pain is all gone, and all you can feel is pleasure. Your moans and his grunts are the only sounds escaping your lips as Rudy feels you constantly clench around him, making it impossible to not cum. He lifts one leg over his shoulder, making him hit your g-spot something you have never discovered before. The foreign spot makes your screams the loudest noise in the room as Rudy’s thrusts make your stomach coil up. He speeds up his thrusts and goes at a swift pace, trying to bring you to the edge. 

Your legs shake around his body as your juices flow out covering the condom, “F-uck I’m cumming,” you scream, shaking in his arms. His thrusts or his thumb doesn’t leave your clit as you feel him release his load in the condom before dropping on you but not crushing you. Nuzzling his head in the base of your neck, your heavy breathing is the only thing you can clearly understand. 

Rudy pulls out discarding the condom before cleaning up and pulling a blanket on the both of you, “Go to sleep, baby,” he mumbles in your ear. 

The next morning

You wake up to the sound of laughter, realizing Rudy is no longer sleeping beside you. Grabbing one of his longer t-shirts, you pull it over your naked body grabbing a pair of clean panties as well before walking or more like limping out the door. Your body is still feeling sore from last night as you finally reach the noise. 

The cast is all here in their sweats, watching some random show on T.V while drinking a few beers. 

“Isn’t it a little early for a beer?” you question, sitting on Rudy’s lap as he welcomes you with open arms. 

They laugh at your statement, making your face scrunch up, “Babe, it’s three pm.” Madison giggles as you look at them in disbelief, not noticing the time. 

“I guess you had a rough night, huh?” Drew sasses so you blush in Rudy’s arms. 

Rudy hugs you from behind, giving you extra support, “Hey, leave her alone; I can’t help it that she’s beautiful and makes me happy.” You give him a quick peck because of his cheesy comment.  

The house erupts in groans, and a few vulgar words as your friends adore and are disgusted by your relationship. 

[tabloidtoc]

Entertainment Weekly, June

Cover: The Pride Issue cover 3 of 4 -- Lena Waithe

Page 3: Contents, other covers featuring Lil Nas X, Mj Rodriguez, Bowen Yang

Page 4: Sound Bites

Page 7: The Cold Open

Page 14: The Must List -- In the Heights

Page 15: Instructions for Dancing by Nicola Yoon, Iceage -- Seek Shelter, Ziwe

Page 18: Trying Q&A with Esther Smith and Rafe Spall, Day Zero by C. Robert Cargill

Page 20: Milestone Returns #0: Infinite Edition, In Treatment

Page 21: Brat: An '80s Story by Andrew McCarthy, The Empty Man

Page 22: My Must List Pride Edition -- Niecy Nash

Page 25: Pride 2021

Page 26: Lil Nas X -- the 22-year-old rapper is still breaking barriers one song and several clapbacks at a time

Page 29: St. Vincent -- the chameleonic singer-songwriter returns with Daddy's Home, an adventurous new album inspired by her father's prison time

Page 30: Olly Alexander -- after a lauded lead turn in It's a Sin, the artist returned with the single Starstruck, from his newly solo musical act Years & Years

* Rostam -- the new solo album from the multi-instrumentalist is rooted in society's fear of change

Page 32: Lena Waithe -- the producer and actor, and the new star of Master of None season 3, wants to create provocative art while elevating voices

Page 35: Josh Thomas -- the Australian creator-star of Everything's Gonna Be Okay is telling his story through his art

Page 36: Meet Your Maker -- Natalie Morales -- the queer star directs her first film(s), the sharp indies Plan B and Language Lessons. Here's what got her behind the camera

Page 37: Joshua Safran -- the man behind Alex Parrish's attitude and Blair Waldorf's one-liners shares how his sexuality helps him empathize with his characters

* Brandon Taylor -- coming off his explosive, best-selling debut novel Real Life, the lauded author is looking toward his second act and beyond

Page 38: Mj Rodriguez -- with the final season of the history-making FX drama Pose, it's leading lady is ready to claim what's hers

Page 41: Colman Domingo -- after decades of stellar work, the scene-stealer is front and center on Euphoria, Fear the Walking Dead, and more

Page 42: Auli'i Cravalho -- the star of Disney's Moana proved how far she'll go to be her authentic self, and is now focused on joy and inclusion

Page 43: Queen Supremes -- the international RuPaul's Drag Race winning class speaks power to the franchise's worldwide domination and looks ahead to a fab future

Page 44: Bowen Yang -- the Saturday Night Live breakout is defining funny for a whole new generation and pushing boundaries in the process

Page 47: Margaret Cho -- the stand-up comedian plays the lesbian pal we all wish we had in the comedy Good on Paper

Page 48: Molly Bernard -- after playing Younger's pansexual publicist, she's ready to explore the full spectrum of queerness

* Josie Totah -- from Disney's Jessie to the Saved by the Bell revival and Amy Poehler's Moxie, the actress has made a name for herself twice and Hollywood's paying attention

Page 49: Calendar -- 10 upcoming LGBTQ projects to get excited for --from eye-opening documentaries to sweeping romances, there is plenty to add to your Pride watch queue

* Pride season's 6 essential reads

Page 51: Summer TV Preview

Page 52: Loki with Tom Hiddleston

Page 53: Panic, The Celebrity Dating Game, Gossip Girl

Page 54: September Mornings, Schmigadoon!, Masters of the Universe: Revelation, Ted Lasso

Page 55: Heels, The Good Fight

Page 56: Power Book III: Raising Kanan

Page 57: Sweet Tooth, Blindspotting, Kevin Can F**k Himself, Mr. Corman

Page 58: We Are Lady Parts, Love Victor, Sex/Life, Turner & Hooch

Page 59: Physical, Hit & Run, American Rust

Page 60: Bosch, Marvel Studios' What If...?, Lisey's Story -- Q&A with Julianne Moore

Page 61: Calendar

Page 62: The Fast and the Furious oral history -- how did a little movie about underground racing speed off to become one of the most profitable franchises in history? The cast and crew reminisce about 20 years of Fast, one quarter-mile at a time

Page 68: News + Reviews -- Nominate Them, You Cowards -- on July 13, the Academy of Television Arts & Sciences will announce the 2021 Emmy nominees. Here are some standout shows and performances we insist not be overlooked

Page 72: Movies -- Summer Star -- taking the lead in blockbusters A Quiet Place II and Jungle Cruise, Emily Blunt is the face of Hollywood's comeback summer

Page 74: Making the Scene -- Army of the Dead -- Zack Snyder explains how he bet big on destroying Las Vegas in his bloody zombie heist movie

Page 75: Oxygen, The Woman in the Window -- the journey from smash best-seller to star-studded streaming thriller was long and fittingly bizarre

Page 76: Meet the Fab G -- director Kay Cannon on how Billy Porter found a fresh, inclusive take on the fairy godmother in the new Cinderella

Page 79: My Favorite Shot Pride Edition -- Sebastian Lelio, A Fantastic Woman -- the Chilean director revisits a gravity-defying sequence in his groundbreaking Oscar-winning drama

Page 80: TV -- The Underground Railroad

Page 81: The Upshaws

Page 82: Oral History -- in 2011, Teen Wolf premiered on MTV. Ten years later, we look back at the pilot episode that introduced us to Scott, Stiles and the werewolves of Beacon Hills -- Jeff Davis, Tyler Posey, Russell Mulgahy, Dylan O'Brien, Crystal Reed

Page 84: What to Watch

Page 86: Music -- Miranda Lambert Q&A -- for The Marfa Tapes, Lambert decamped to the quiet artsy town in West Texas and recorded songs around a campfire. She talks to EW about the album and being an introverted superstar

Page 88: Ear Kandi -- Xscape member and current Real Housewives of Atlanta star Kandi Burruss reflects on the hits she's made for Destiny's Child, *NSYNC, TLC and more

Page 89: The Black Keys

Page 90: Books -- summer books special -- a comedy of eras -- in a sharp new essay collection, The Wreckage of My Presence, actor Casey Wilson weaves big feelings into even bigger laughs

Page 92: Poetic Justice -- prolific romance writer and political powerhouse Stacey Abrams bookend an incredible year with more thrills, this time in her first novel not written under her pen name Selena Montgomery

Page 93: Author Spotlight -- Silvia Moreno-Garcia -- Velvet Was the Night

Page 94: Fatal Attraction -- inside the intoxicating depravity of Animal, Lisa Taddeo's meaty follow-up to Three Women

Page 95: Critic's Pick -- The Great Mistake by Jonathan Lee

Page 96: Critic's Pick -- In the Country of Others by Leila Slimani

Page 97: The Conversation -- Taylor Jenkins Reid and Paula Hawkins -- the names behind Daisy Jones & the Six and The Girl on the Train are coming for your beach tote

Page 98: Q&A with Zakiya Dalila Harris -- The Other Black Girl, former book editor Zakiya Dalila Harris' genre-bending evisceration of workplace privilege, is set to become the debut of the summer

Page 99: Critic's Pick -- Afterparties by Anthony Veasna So

Page 101: Q&A with Billie Eilish -- in between winning Grammys and releasing her sophomore album, the pop star is publishing her first (self-titled) book, a collection of never-before-seen pics of her early life on the road

Page 103: Parental Guidance -- your crib sheet on the best entertainment for kids from toddlers to tweens

* Q&A with Gabrielle Union-Wade and Dwyane Wade -- the actress and her NBA legend husband, bring it on with their new children's book Shady Baby

Page 112: The Bullseye

[profoundnet]

PROFOUND MEMBER MASTERPOST FOR NOVEMBER 2020!

Featuring Destiel/Gen works by jscribbles, Jeanne_de_Valois, tiamatv, LeafZelindor, prosopopeya, DragonSgotenks, sketching-fox, kittimau, castielslostwings, FriendofCarlotta, universalsatan, Idjit_01, Destielshipper4Cas, purple_charlie, Maleyah, noeizumispn, kitmistry, TheSongSmith, one_more_offbeat_anthem, interstitial, JusithAndronicus, ArielAquarial, queer-things-do-happen-dean, goldenraeofsun, andimeantittosting, and starprincecas.

Join us on Discord!

Masterpost below the cut.

jscribbles - jscribbles

I’ll Go With You (G, 4.7k)

A coda to 15x18 "Despair".

He hadn't said anything. He hadn't said anything when he'd been given the chance.

Tags: 15.20, reunion, grief, love confession

We Are Real (M, 2.4k)

Smutty sequel to I'll Go With You.

Dean hadn't kissed him yet.

But they were alone now, and free.

Tags: 15.18, smut

404 Error (G, 500 words)

How hablo espaniol?!!

I DON'T KNOW. Neither does Dean.

Tags: spoilers for 15.18, based on spanish dub, crack fic

The Weight of Silence (E, 26k)

The weight of silence is heavy on Dean's shoulders as he learns to live a new kind of life in Heaven. In classic Winchester-style, despite being in a place that isn't supposed to have pain and suffering, Dean rebels against it by being straight-up fucking miserable.

Tags: depression, mentions of john winchesters garbage parenting, canon compliant, 15.20 fix it coda, happy ending, smut, romance, love confessions

~

Jeanne_de_Valois - Jeanne_de_Valois

Free Bird (G, 1.7k)

Heaven is an open road and not having to pay for gas.

Heaven is a greasy sandwich and a novelty-sized candy bar.

Heaven is awkward, shuffling, confusing.

Heaven is getting to say what you wished you said, a lifetime ago.

(A Coda to Supernatural 15.20- Carry On)

Tags: Post-Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Requited Love

~

tiamatv - tiamatv

Stone and Flesh (E, 6k)

Dean didn’t think, even in his filthiest imaginings, that Cas would sound like this in bed—loud, eager, easy with it. He doesn’t give a fuck who hears him enjoying himself. Though maybe Dean should have known. It’s not like Cas has ever once held back on anything he ever wanted to say or do—

Didn’t he?

(Not quite an episode coda for S15e18 per se, but more a "what comes after.")

Tags: AU - canon divergence; Post-Episode S15e18: Despair; Canonical Character Death; Selectively Mute Dean Winchester; Hopeful Ending

Domestic (T, 5.6k)

A little less than a year after the world doesn’t end, he and Cas get married.

Tags: AU - Canon Divergence; Future Fic; Tooth-Rotting Fluff; Domesticity in the Men of Letters Bunker; Kid Fic

Bight (E, 2.5k)

“Do you want more?” Cas asked, against Dean’s thigh. His thumb strummed gently at the soft, folded-up pocket behind Dean’s bound knee.

It tickled, but… didn’t.

Dean didn’t know what the answer to that was.

Tags: AU - Canon Divergence; Rope Bondage; Gentle Dom Castiel; Sub Dean Winchester; Praise Kink

~

LeafZealindor - @leafzelindor

Artwork for “break to let the light in” DCBB2020 (SFW)

Artwork draw for the DCBB2020 fic "break to let the light in"

Tags: fluff, touching, intimacy. Accompanied by fic by PeppermiintsPlease.

~

prosopopeya - prosopopeya

Like Real People Do (G, 4.9k)

Castiel experienced a moment of pure happiness, expecting it to be his last. 

It wasn't.

Tags: Post-15x18, canon divergence, first kiss, angst with a happy ending, first kiss

Under the Same Sun (E, 14k)

In which time is infinite, and so is the list of people willing to help Dean figure out what to do about Cas. 

A fix-it for a lot of things: Dean's repressed bisexuality, Dean's utterly inexplicable failure to realize what Cas meant, the Charlie & Dean brother/sister content I crave, among others.

Tags: Internalized biphobia, Charlie Bradbury & Dean Winchester, angst with a happy ending, post-series, Heaven fic

~

DragonSgotenks - DragonSgotenks

Say Cheese (E, 50k)

Dean Winchester is thirty, flirty, and thriving, or at least that's how his best friend Charlie describes him. Either way Dean feels pretty good about his life. He has a decent job, a nice house, and a great group of friends and family. Sure his brother's been living hundreds of miles away to attend law school and an internship, and yeah maybe he wasn't working his dream job, and so, okay, he spent most nights zoning out in front of the tv alone but that was fine. Dean was fine. Until he gets a call about a daughter he didn't know existed and suddenly Dean's quiet (boring) life is turned upside down.

Castiel Novak is a photographer whose passion lies in capturing the beauty of nature. However to pay the bills he works part time at the mall doing portrait photography. Sure it might not be as artistic as he'd like and his odd hours make for a dull social life but he's still doing what he loves. He especially enjoys doing the kids photos and over the last couple of years he's built a bit of a reputation for always getting the shot no matter how unruly or stubborn a child might be. So when a handsome father brings in his grumpy little girl for pictures Castiel thinks it will be just another photo shoot.

He's wrong.

Tags: Destiel, Single parent Dean, kidfic, bottom Dean/top Castiel, mentions of childhood trauma, eventual smut, past Lydia/Dean

~

sketching-fox - @sketching-fox

Dean Winchester Monster Fucker (NSFW)

Arts done for Dean Cas Big Bang in my partnership with LoversAntiquities.

Tags: alleyway, impala, mature content. Accompanied by fic by LoversAntiquities.

~

kittimau - @kmauspn - kittimau

Beg Pretty For Me (E, 5k)

“Cas…” His eyes flutter closed, mind slipping into the warm, pleasant haze of that special place, the one that allows him release, relief. Peace. Heart pounding in his chest, he fights the temptation to touch himself through the delicate material because Cas hasn’t told him to yet and he wants to be good.

“I want to hear you say it, Dean.”

“Fuck…” He swallows thickly. “Yeah. I- I feel beautiful.”

Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Explicit Sexual Content, Phone Sex, Light Dom/Sub, Dean Winchester Wears Panties, Top Castiel/Bottom Dean Winchester, Masturbation, Dom Castiel/Sub Dean Winchester

~

castielslostwings - @castielslostwings - Castielslostwings

Loud (G, 4.3k)

Minutes, hours, days, years might have already passed—time is different here, and Castiel has no way of tracking it, and still the Shadow doesn’t come. 

Castiel sits, he stands, he walks and walks and walks and walks. All he ever discovers is more darkness, more nothing.

Tags: 15.19 coda, alternate 15.20, canon fix-it, carry on fix-it, canon-compliant, love confessions, the empty, coda fic, the profound bond

Carry On (E, 8k)

“I think I’ll go for a drive.”

This is what happened between that moment, and Dean meeting Sam on that bridge.

(A 15x20 missing scene/fix-it fic).

Tags: 15x20 fix-it, Carry On coda, love confessions, castiel and dean are in love, first kiss, first time, reunions, Heaven improved, dean gets the funeral he deserves, missing scene

~

FriendofCarlotta - @friendofcarlotta - FriendofCarlotta

The Novel (E, 4.5k)

Dean, Cas, Sam and Eileen are happily retired and living their best lives. There's just one problem: Sam has decided to commemorate the Winchester brothers' adventures by writing a novel, and it's not very good at all.

AKA the episode coda where 15x20 was nothing more than Dean reading a draft of his brother's first novel and becoming increasingly appalled.

Tags: Coda, Episode Fix-It: s15e20 Carry On, Technically Canon-Compliant, First Kiss, Top Cas/Bottom Dean

~

universalsatan - @universalsatan - UniversalSatan

Mortal One, With The Sun in His Hands (E, 135k)

Cowhand Dean Winchester is notorious for risky gambles, rightfully proud of his horse Impala (who has the prettiest speckle in the West), and is stubbornly certain that his life is in apple-pie order. His comfortable existence crumbles apart when he's saved from a fire-and-brimstone death by a mysterious wanderer he discovers to be the infamous White Bandit, mythical Angel of the Desert. While his savior is as fearsome as the legends say, Dean can't help but draw closer to the quiet and endearing man the real Bandit turns out to be... even if he doesn't yet realize they're the same person. This time, Dean may have to reach out to the flame instead of recoil.

Tags: Western, Historical Fantasy, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Cowboys, Plot-Heavy, Hurt/Comfort, Dean Winchester is Bad at Feelings Graphic Depictions of Violence, Explicit Sexual Content (Censored Version Available). Accompanied by art by Artmetica.

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Idjit_01 - Idjit_01

I’m not gonna say that I’d change it cause you and I know that we can’t (T, 1.3k)

After Lisa's goodbye speech to Dean in 6x14, Dean gets drunk and calls Cas.

Tags: Episode: s06e14 Mannequin 3: The Reckoning, Alcohol abuse/Alcoholism, Canon Divergence, Lisa Braeden/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Hurt No comfort, yes both

game over (try again, please) (G, 887 words)

After Case and everyone else's departure in 15x18 Sam and Dean sit and talk. (And yes they discuss Cas's confession)

Tags: Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Suicidal Thoughts, Canonical Character Death, Good Sibling Sam Winchester

There’s blood on your face. (Beer and Nightmares) (G, 1.4k)

Dean wakes up pretty badly shaken from a nightmare. He struggles with it. He goes to the kitchen for a beer, but Cas and Sam are there. In the end, thanks to Cas's shenanigans, he doesn't even remember the nightmare.

Tags: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Hurt/Comfort, Teasing, Touch-Starved Dean Winchester, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Sam Winchester Is So Done

Help(less) (T, 1.9k)

Everyone Chuck took away is back and are doing normal life again. As there are no monsters and everyone around him has someone else, Dean's on his own and feels awful. So he drives away and makes several questionable choices. Featuring: Dean, a missing angel, a moose, Baby and a frankly abused forest

Tags: Post-Episode: s15e18 Despair, Castiel/Dean Winchester, Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester, Grief/Mourning, Vomiting, Eating Disorders, Suicidal Attempt, Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death

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Destielshipper4Cas - @destielshipper4cas - Destielshipper4Cas

The Alpha Next Door (E, 36k)

When Cas is placed in WitSec, he gets a fake secondary gender designation to go along with his new name, ‘Jimmy.’ All he has to do until the boss of the omega trafficking ring he escaped is behind bars is keep a low profile, always apply his alpha scent, and not fall in love with an alpha. Well—two out of three ain’t too bad…

Dean has never had a crush on an alpha before. Along comes his new neighbor, Jimmy, an alpha who is alphasexual. There’s just something about him, and to his utter confusion, he finds himself falling for an alpha for the first time in his life.

Tags: Past Rape/Non-con, Strangers to Lovers, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Hurt/Comfort, Omega Verse

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purple_charlie - purple_charlie

Walk Through Fire for You (T, 2.3k)

Boyfriend.

The word still feels foreign in Dean’s mouth, still brings back echoes of John Winchester’s thinly-veiled (if even that) homophobia. "Man up, don’t be a sissy, I didn’t raise a fairy". It’s a swollen blister in the back of Dean’s mind, throbbing with pain whenever a stranger’s eyes linger too long on Cas’ hand in his, whenever a waitress double-takes at how close they sit in diner booths.

But here, dirty dancing with Cas in a warehouse full of other queer folks, Dean wants to shout from the rooftops- I’m Dean Winchester, I drive the baddest car in town, I lift heavy things for a living, and this is my boyfriend.

Tags: Homophobic parents, homophobic siblings, bisexual Dean, Gay Cas, Pride, marijuana use

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Maleyah - @maleyah-givemetomorrow - Katherine_Kat

Art for In A State of Perpetual Disrepair (SFW)

Art for my fic, In A State of Perpetual Disrepair, a hurt/comfort A/B/O Destiel fic.

Tags: fanart, A/B/O, hurt/comfort, Alpha!Cas, Omega!Dean

Start of Time (G, 754 words)

Except he never expected to be awake for the aftermath.

You see, he can hear Dean's prayers.

Tags: Castiel POV, Despair, Hope, Coda 15x18, post episode 15x18, Fix-It, Fix-It of Sorts

We’re Not Gonna Take It (T, 1.4k)

Amara gestures at Dean calmly. “Have you been praying lately by any chance?”

Dean flusters and stammers, hands at his hips to give himself an attitude, while his eyes flick from her to Sam and Jack insecurely. “N… No.”

Tags: Coda 15x19, Post episode 15x19, Fix It, Dean's dirty prayers, Dean Prays to Castiel, Angel Wings, Wings, First Kiss

Drive (M, 1.5k)

Dean's prayers take a turn for the sensual, which drives The Empty to the brink.

Tags: Coda 15x18; post episode 15x18,, Dean Prays to Castiel, Dean's dirty prayers, Angel Wings, Wings, First Kiss, Fix-It, Slight Crack

Now That We’re Dead (M, 2.5k)

“You got everything you could ever want or need or dream. So I guess the question is… What’re you gonna do now, Dean?”

Looking around, he doesn’t know how to answer that question. The obvious is suggested when she turns out to have made it to Heaven too. Dust dances in the air around Baby, shining in the sunlight, tempting him to go for a ride. The endless stretched out road and horizon.

He blinks a few times, slow and owlish.

And right there, his shadow falling long and dark, almost touching Dean’s feet, is Cas.

OR: the one where Cas gets the love he deserves

Tags: 15x20 coda, Fix It, First Kiss, human!Cas, Heaven, Heaven happy ending, Canon divergent from the moment Bobby says "Cas helped", Fix-It

I Wanna Live, Not Just Survive (M, 3.9k)

“Dean Winchester,” Cas drawls. “I did not go to The Empty, so you could get yourself impaled.”

Or: the other one, where Cas and Dean get to be what they deserve.

Tags: coda 15x20, Fix-It, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Earth happy ending, Because let's not bury our gays, First Kiss, Cuddles, Hurt/Comfort

~

noeizumispn - @noeizumispn

Colors (SFW)

Art inspired by Misha's words on Cas' wings

Tags: Rainbow, colors, destiel, wings

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kitmistry - @kitmistry - Kitmistry

Don’t You Cry No More (T, 4.8k)

There has to be something, he told himself the first night he pulled an all nighter, only to wake up with his cheek smashed against a book, dark circles under his eyes, a throbbing headache, and nowhere closer to the answer than when he started. The light was still on above his head. He didn’t bother turning it off.

Or the one where Dean doesn't die, but he searches for Cas instead. 

Tags: Fix-It, Coda, Episode: s15e20 Carry On, Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending

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TheSongSmith - TheSongSmith

Four Seasons (G, 754 words)

Cas is the owner of Four Seasons Total Landscaping, and he received a very curious call on a quiet Saturday morning. Dean owns the adult shop next door, and is very confused by what's going on. Good times are had by all, except Donald Trump because fuck that morally-bankrupt tangerine.

Tags: Four Seasons Total Landscaping, Destiel is Canon, 2020 is a dumpster fire so have this fic, twitter made me do it

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one_more_offbeat_anthem - one_more_offbeat_anthem

So Comes Snow After Fire (G, 11k)

Cas was old, like old-old, like ancient, like here for the beginning of the goddamn cosmos old, like remembers rain being invented old, and he could be anywhere, but instead he was in Dean’s kitchen (well, the bunker’s, but no one else cooked--Jack and Cas were kind of clueless when it came to that stuff, and all Sam made was health food), reading The Hobbit aloud to Dean while Dean himself made them all spaghetti.

(or, they got their win--the biggest win of all--and now autumn is settling in. a nearly-human Cas plants a garden, and Dean helps him along.)

Tags: Post-Canon/Canon-Divergent, Domesticity, Getting together, Fluff and comfort, Gardening Castiel

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interstitial - interstitial

Thirst Was Made For Water (T, 5.9k)

Cas is hit by a truth spell. The results are unexpected.

And maybe just a tiny bit funny. Unless you're Dean. 

Tags: Dubiously Consensual Courting Behavior, Mildly NSFW Art Included, Profanity, Crack & Fluff, Truth Spells, Animal Transformations, Canon Divergent After s7e17 The Born-Again Identity, Light-Hearted and (Relatively) Wholesome For These Trying Times

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JudithAndronicus - @judithandronicus - judithandronicus

Up We Go (E, 4.9k)

A coda fic series for 15.18.

Tags: Grieving, Canonical MCD (temporary), Alcoholic Dean, Angst with a Happy Ending

The Kindness of Ravens (E, 7.5k)

Crackfic wherein ravens pooping on Dean lead to feelings realization and eventual smut.

Tags: Fluff, Crack, Feelings Realization, Diners

The Ampersand Chronicles (G, 1.3k)

This is unrepentant canon-adjacent Bunker fluff, set in a universe where everything is kind of the same, except fluffier. Cas lives in the Bunker with Sam and Dean; things like Gadreel and Lucifer aren't a problem; and oh yeah, there's a cat.

Tags: Fluff, Bunker Fic, Kittens

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ArielAquarial - ArielAquarial

Boyfriend Blues (G, 1k)

“I have a boyfriend!”

It came out of nowhere. One second Dean was shoveling a truly amazing pork roast into his mouth, already planning the meat to mashed potato ratio of his next bite, when Claire opened her mouth and his fork was clattering to the plate. Cas stopped mid-bite to stare at her while Jack, completely oblivious, continued making a Jackson Pollock out of his potatoes and gravy.

Tags: Parenthood, Domestic Fluff, Married Life, Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Kid Claire Novak, Kid Jack Kline

Extra Credit (E, 4.2k)

“Hey, babe. Who has the kids?”

“Mr. Winchester…” Cas rumbled, leaning back in his chair and folding his arms across his chest. “You’re cutting it close. My office hours are almost over.”

Dean frowned at him, confused. That didn’t even remotely answer his question. What did he—

Oh…

Oh!

Or, the moment Dean has been waiting for has finally arrived.

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Husbands, Professor Castiel (Supernatural), Mechanic Dean Winchester, Sexual Roleplay, Teacher/Student Roleplay, Anniversary

Never in a Million Years (G, 2.5k)

If someone had told Cas six years ago that he was going to be a happily married man with two kids, he would have laughed. Now, with Dean by his side, he couldn't imagine things being different, even if the path to get there had been a little rocky.

Tags: Domestic Fluff, Holiday Traditions, Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Backstory, Bickering, Married Life

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queer-things-do-happen-dean - @queer-things-do-happen-dean - Latter_alice

Tangerine, tangerine (E, 1k)

“So it’s – It’s really nothin’, huh?” Dean swallows and tries to blink away the wetness in his eyes. His gaze don’t weaver from the road. “No, uh, key words ring a bell? Chuck? Angel tablet?” He pauses, flicks his eyes over to Castiel and back. “... Leviathans?"

When Dean pulls Cas out of the Empty, not everything comes back.

Tags: Canon divergent, post series, memory loss

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goldenraeofsun - @goldenraeofsun - goldenraeofsun

Symmetria (T, 4k)

When all’s said and done with Chuck, Dean takes his time getting used to his new gig as capital D Death. Billie, of course, did not see fit to leave him a training manual. But with his brother-turned-God on his side, and Jack as the new Darkness, they all muddle through.

Finally, all that's left is to rescue Cas from the Empty.

Tags: 15x18 fix-it, alternate post-series AU, Death!Dean, God!Sam, Darkness!Jack, love confessions, first kiss, minor Sam/Eileen

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andimeantittosting - @andimeantittosting - andimeantittosting

We Are (M, 699)

15x18 coda. When they get Cas back, because they do, because somehow, someway, sometimes good things do happen, Dean... 

Tags: Reunion, Resurrected Castiel, Requited Love, Happy Ending

Carrying On (G, 794 words)

15x20 coda. Dean dies and goes to heaven. But then he wakes up.

Tags: Fix-it Fic, Djinn, Happy Ending on Earth

Two Inches to the Left (T, 2.5k)

15x20 coda. Something tells Dean to stop by that bridge, so he does. The last thing he's expecting is for a pair of Vespas to pull up and Becky Rosen to tell him that he's still in Chuck's story. Finally, it's time to write his own.

Tags: Fix-it Fic, Temporary Character Death, Happy Ending on Earth, Fangirls Save the Day

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starprincecas - @starprincecas - cuddlesandcas

so it goes (T, 1.4k)

The Empty comes to collect.

Tags: Major Character Death, Episode Tag: s15e18 Despair, Angst

no more waiting on tomorrow (T, 739 words)

For all that they’ve finally won once and for all, the victory feels hollow.

Tags: Episode Tag: s15e19 Inherit the Earth, Fix-It Fic

[starship-imzadi]

S5 E17 The Outcast

Androgyny is defined as having both male and female characteristics so that a specific gender cannot be determined.

Jonathan Frakes has reportedly gone on record to express his belief that Soren should have been cast with a male actor as it would have sent a stronger message. And I absolutely agree.

As it is, Soren identifies as a woman and is played by a woman which is just reestablishing a heteronormative status quo. In fact, all of the credited cast who portray the J'naii are women.

I have a problem with this. Often times the dichotomy of western heterosexual gendering is seen as "the haves and the have nots". E.g. men have body hair, women do not (which is absolutely untrue). Women are emotional, men are not (also absolutely untrue). Women as "the weaker sex" are often seen as "without" and androgyny is sometimes construed as being more "without" because it's supposed to be lacking the characteristics that give definition or.... features that are identifiable as a certain gender. Casting all women to be androgynous is, in a way, sexist for this reason. Though the non speaking and background J'naii are far enough away they seem less defined and more androgynous (some might be cast with men but it's not possible to tell...which is the way it should be).

Okay...so, Riker gets a bad rap for his struggle with pronouns and misgendering BUT what he's doing is actually incredibly important and valuable. Riker is canonically an American, heterosexual, cis gendered, Caucasian, male. He is the character that the most privileged, and most represented demographic will see themselves in and relate to. He is put in a position where he doesn't understand the experience of the person opposite him, he's trying his best and he makes mistakes, but he's also demonstrating that he's open to learning.

I've also seen some small uproar, especially from younger viewers (I'm looking at anyone born after the year 2000) over the writers not using they/them pronouns "I do not think there is really a translation". It is true that "they" as a pronoun to refer to a non specific person in common speech has been in use since the time of Shakespeare. Up until women's suffrage in legal context the pronoun used was "he" without specifically meaning a man. I.e. those pronouns were place holders for an unknown person regardless of gender or sex. Non masculine or feminine pronouns used to refer to a known individual is a slightly different story. There have been many different pronouns developed and used to greater or lesser extent through the entire 20th century (e.g. Hir or Xe) However, none of them really caught on for regular use across the entire language. "They" has been adopted most successfully because it is already in the language but its prominent use and acceptance wasn't until between approximately 2013 and 2015. This episode aired in 1992.

I really like that early on Soren and Riker are given an established shared interest. Too often on this show two people are put together....and it's not clear why they like each other. In such a short span of time it's tough to establish a believable new relationship, but this is a good first step.

They've known each other two days? It is reminiscent of "The Masterpiece Society" just a few episodes ago where Troi started to fall in love after five days. (Maybe they're both just very loving people.)

Also, in the midst of the misgendering, I'm pleased that the writers (or whoever) chose for Riker to use "he" because it plays against this species that's supposed to be androgynous but... Have a tendency to look feminine.

Riker's dad had a recipe for split pea soup...I wonder when he ever cooked it though. Riker mentions that it's good for cold Alaskan nights and it's the second episode in recent memory of his mentioning that he's from Alaska (the other was "Conundrum") I can't actually remember it being mentioned prior to that episode.... though there's a good chance it was established in the "Icarus Factor" and i know it's mentioned again in "Lower Decks"

A lot of the focus on this episode from fans seems to be on Soren being transgender but the J"aii are also homosexual. Riker and Soren have two different paradigms that are represented as neither worse nor better nor even given a moral label, they're just different. (Although, the J'naii's insistence that Soren cannot be male or female in gender or sex, is clearly meant to be the reciprocal of any insistence by humans that we can only be male or female in gender and sex.)

"I like one who's intelligent, sure of herself, who I can talk with and get something back. But the most important thing of all, she has to laugh at my jokes."

This conversation has a great sub text: different men like different things in women (and vis versa) so for someone to even identify as "heterosexual" doesn't mean every member of a different sex is attractive to them. And it begs the question: why are so many people with different qualities all under the same gender "umbrella"?

I've seen screen caps of Soren asking about human male genitals but they only show Riker's surprise. Really he deserves more credit because he handles the question really well. The way he handles everything very kindly and graciously, and the fact that Soren continues to ask questions, is a real testament to the safe place that he makes for discussion and curiosity.

There's some... dark humour in how Star Trek talks about misogyny and sexism. It's one of the notable hypocrisies and failings in star trek: to talk about a better future, while still operating on damaging ideals, and without any real idea of the journey it would actually take for society to reach "better". Both Gate and Marina had struggles with how they and their characters were treated compared to the men.

Oh boy. Worf's sexism fluctuates a lot, but when they need someone to be a misogynist, Worf is the go to and it's always painful. And Data asks the innocent, child-like questions. With a scene like this there are unfortunate reflection on some of the characters BUT the main purpose of the scene is, a slightly heavy handed, means of proposing different view points for representation and comparison. It's not really about the characters at all.

I'll say just from experience with that long hours spent working together will create some sort of bond for pretty much any two people. Love or other wise.

This scene is clearly about Soren coming out to Riker. And he takes it as kindly as he has everything else so far.

Geordi has a beard! (LeVar apparently grew it for his wedding)

"good hunting commander"

"thank you sir. See you for dinner." Do Riker and Picard have dinner together? (I love a good found family shared meal).

I really like this scene between Will and Deanna.

"well this one looks like you" with the teddy bear absolutely gets me every time. And Deanna's side look! I love their friendship and comfort together.

"You're my friend and I thought... I don't know, i thought I should tell you."

"I'm glad you did"

"Nothing will change between us, will it?"

"Of course it will. All relationships are constantly changing. But we'll still be friends, maybe better friends. You're a part of my life, and I'm a part of yours. That much will always be true."

This really hits home. Regardless of the label for their relationship, regardless of the details of the boundaries of their relationship, Troi is affirming for Riker that they are important enough to each other, that he is important enough to her, that she will stay in his life and keep him in hers. In a way this touches on what was established way back "Haven". The characterizations were still being sorted out to a large extent, but when Troi was due to be married Riker thought he was losing her and Troi ask him "i am no longer imzadi to you?" But even as much as they love each other, Riker isn't taking for granted that Troi will stay in his life once he becomes involved with someone. Troi is assuring him, promising to him, that she will stay. And the fact that Riker went to her, to tell her about him and Soren, was his way of demonstrating to Troi that she is still important to him, and that he wants to keep her in his life too.

Props to Riker for protecting Soren. Not only did he keep her secret he tried to help her preserve it.

This is a really good and impassioned speech that, even though its clearly about legislation against homosexuality, doesn't feel over the top like a lot of star trek speeches can. It's probably one of the better speeches not given by Picard.

This is the second episode in a row Riker has gone to Picard for guidance...kind of.

It's kind of sweet that Worf offers as a friend to help Riker jeopardize his career, for the sake of someone important to him, even though he doesn't like or understand the J'naii.

In the end, the Enterprise must maintain its status quo, so much like "The Host", there had to be a reason then love interest cannot stay. Even if the reason is honestly so disheartening and sad. I genuinely believe Riker cared for Soren, and this is so devastating. This was probably the best single episode relationship in terms of development.

Picard is so gentle and subtle with Riker.

Engage (!)

[fandompitfalls]

Fandom, Misogyny, and the Struggle for "Clarice"

Originally posted 2/24/21

There’s a quote that, summarized, says, in order for a woman to be seen as an equal to men, she has to work twice as hard. And never more what that brought to light outside real life than Valentine’s Day weekend when CBS aired the premiere of Clarice.

In 1991, Silence of the Lambs, a runaway hit thriller staring Jodie Foster and Anthony Hopkins came onto public consumption and introduced the world to the phrase “quid pro quo” and the name Hannibal Lecter became a well-known name.

In 2013, a series by the name of Hannibal staring Mads Mikkelsen and Hugh Dancy premiered on television and was immediately embraced by the fandom community.  Dating long before Silence of the Lambs, the show features a BSU consultant by the name of Will Graham who is called into service because of his unique ability to profile serial killers.  He develops a professional and later, a personal relationship with Dr. Hannibal Lecter.

In the beginning the question of Will’s mental state was brought up, the reason Lecter was introduced into the series, he was hired on assess Will Graham after cases to make sure his fragile mental state was not deteriorating.  It allowed Hannibal to get close to Will and manipulate him in an attempt to turn Will into a killer like himself.  The show ended after three seasons and during those seasons, the show’s creator, Brian Fuller, made cinematography magic with his sets and scenes, a lot of them gruesome yet exquisite.

Hannibal became fandom’s gory darling, the relationship between Will and Hannibal being the main fodder. This was furthered by the support of Bryan Fuller’s comment in Collider stating that he saw Hannibal as being in love with Will Graham. https://collider.com/bryan-fuller-hannibal-silence-of-the-lambs-interview/

Just this past week, a new twist on the Silence of the Lambs timeline premiered with Clarice. Clarice takes place a year after Silence of the Lambs and the Buffalo Bill murders. She is pulled from the BAU and sent to a task force run by Ruth Martin, the mother of Buffalo Bill’s only surviving member, Catherine.  Created by Alex Kurtzman and Jenny Lumet, Clarice is not affiliated with Hannibal, the Series, in any way, rather, it is a telling of Clarice Starling’s story after the events of Silence of the Lambs.

Here’s where it differs. And remember, this is only the first episode.  By the time I post this, there will be two episodes out.

In the opening scene, Clarice Starling is sitting in a therapist’s office.  The therapist, a man with no name as of yet, is trying to get her to tell him about her feelings regarding the one-year anniversary of the Buffalo Bill murders.  He even has a copy of a magazine that features her on the cover with the title “Bride of Frankenstein.”  The more he pushes the more she holds back, telling him the rots answers that most FBI therapists want to here.  Finally, she mentions the magazine was bought by him as a trigger to see if she would break and he tells her that he thinks she’s not stable enough to go back in the field because she refuses to use to the “survivor” in relation to her encounter with Buffalo Bill.  She is not a survivor, she was never kidnapped, she was an FBI agent doing a job.  He also cites her relationship with Hannibal Lecter, insinuating that it was more personal in nature than he thought necessary.

Before he can put her at a desk, she is called back into the field by Ruth Martin and put under the team led by Paul Krendler, a man who Clarice “upped” in the movie when she was a trainee.  He doesn’t want her there, insists on a profile after seeing the first two bodies and when she can’t give an accurate one because she doesn’t have all the evidence, he tells her she had to tell the press it’s a serial killer.

It’s already shown that Clarice has a bit of trauma with press conferences and this is something that keeps coming back.  The press want Clarice and Paul Krendler just wants her to be the face of his team and tells her that she will say what he tells her to say.  Clarice is not taken seriously by Krindler, by anyone else in the office, (there’s a scene where men from the other unit that share an office, coat her desk drawer with lotion and leave that lotion and a basket in the drawer and then laugh about it).  Clarice is blocked at every turn by men, even her therapist calls Krindler and tells him to bench her because he’s worried about her mental state.

The first time we meet Will Graham, his mental state is mentioned as tenuous, yet the FBI have no problem throwing him right out into the field.  Clarice was a trainee who managed to catch a serial killer, and somehow she’s considered too “fragile” to be put on any cases other than desk jobs.  In fact, throughout the entire first episode, the only person on her new team to take an interest and believe what she says is Thomas Esquivel, an ex-special forces soldier turned agent who believes in what she says.

From the first moment of this show the misogyny was right out on view, there is no hiding that all of the men in this show do not like Clarice because she’s young, she’s a woman and they are intimidated by her talent.  Her only support comes from Agent Esquivel and her friend and former trainee Ardelia Mapp.

I mention the misogyny because it’s not all on the show. It’s from the fans as well. The first time I was reminded the show was on was when I noticed Hannibal was trending on Twitter. The day and time frame Clarice aired its premiere, Twitter was lamenting that they wanted a season four of Hannibal.  While researching for this blog, I used IMDB to get names and plot points.  And came across this comment about the premiere:

“Can we bring back Hannibal, please?

12 February 2021 | by [redacted]

And by that I am of course referring to the excellent series featuring Mads Mikkelsen's amazing portrayal of Dr. Hannibal Lecter. That series had great style, fantastic atmosphere, and stellar directing, editing, and acting. They planned to tell the ultimate Hannibal Lecter story but only were able to make three seasons out of a seven season plan. So, here we have a Clarice Starling series that had been in the works for years but didn't get the train running till now. So the premiere - Meh. Rebecca Breeds makes a very good Clarice but nothing else is up to her level. The cinematography isn't bad but the atmosphere is lacking, the characters are none too memorable, and the storyline isn't attention grabbing enough. I give it about a season at least.”

I don’t know the time when this posted, but I’m not surprised by the comment at all.  Comment and review bombing seems to be the way that fans express their “disappointment” about their old shows not getting anything…or rather, their favorite male characters not getting more screen time.

On the same page, the below link was posted.  This was one day after the first episode of Clarice premiered:

Clarice: Season Two? Has the CBS TV Series Been Cancelled or Renewed Yet? 13 February 2021 | TVSeriesFinale

A freshman series about a female criminal profiler who is pushed down, ignored, harassed because of her sex.  It’s almost a case of life imitating art.

I was going to leave this post as it was and post it today but last week the second episode aired which showed Clarice pushing past childhood trauma to face down a cult leader and a corrupt government system thereby earning Krendler’s respect and her position on the team.  And while Thomas Esquivel told her that a team is only good if each of its members understand that they can trust and support one another, thereby hopefully foreshadowing that this team will eventually accept Clarice as one of their own and in turn she will do the same, it took her risking her life by going back inside the compound, disregarding orders and singlehandedly getting the information needed to put both the cult leader and head of the County Sheriff down for the count for Krendler to finally see her worth and decide to keep her on the team.

I liked Clarice.  It was hard to watch at times, not only because of the trauma she is dealing with as well as the survivor, Catherine, calling her and harassing her, but because of the anger I felt watching Clarice get stepped on time and time again by the men in this show, only to get up and do her job.  Her final speech she makes at the end of episode one about her grandmother is inspiring and gives the viewer a bit of a “in your face” to the men behind her, especially Krendler…even though we all know he’s going to make her life a living hell when they get back to the office because she didn’t follow his rules.  That said, this show is very much a procedural, much like CSI or Criminal Minds. The series follows the format of the movie.  This is not Hannibal.  It’s not trying to be Hannibal, It is trying to be Clarice.  And, as the quote goes, it’s going to have to work twice as hard to even get one half of the respect it deserves.

[pinkbubbles-and-bigtroubles]

Wicked Game

Another round of the 5sos fic writing collab brought to you by @maluminspace​ and @h0tsos​. There are so many amazing writers involved and I highly recommend checking out the event master list linked below. Thank you to the Sagittarius sorceress  @sexgodashton​ for being very caring, patient, and kind while helping me tame this monster.  Massive shout out to @ghostofmashton​ for the photo edits, especially Ashton’s eye. that’s my favorite. You’re a rock star. Texas girls forever, love you to bits!

Event Master List

Prompt: Chef AU with Cashton

Dialogue Prompt: “Kissing you is all I’ve thought about since the moment we met” First person to spot it in the fic and send me a screenshot gets a personalized blurb request.

Word Count: 20K+ Team Long Winded Bitch strikes again, this will be posted in multiple parts over the next couple of days. This first part is about 5K

Rating: 18+ Slash fic Strong language, alcohol and drug use, and a misogynistic and racist comment. Sexual scenes including masturbation, toys, voyeurism, oral, and anal sex.

Summary: Ashton is ready to move on with his life after his painful divorce from Luke and the demise of the restaurant they’d built together. With the help of his protegee and sous chef Hima Singh, Ashton is ready to take on opening weekend of his new restaurant Anne-Marie’s. Calum is a reporter filling in on an assignment and is surprised when his past comes back to haunt him. Hima arranges an interview that takes an unexpected turn between the two men.

Part 1

"Great job, guys, we couldn't have had a better opening weekend. Thank you so much for making it happen," Ashton told the two staff members in the kitchen who'd closed as he unlocked the back door.

"No problem boss, glad to be here. We made money this weekend. See ya tomorrow," DeSean told him as he left.

Ashton locked the door behind them and walked out into the empty dining room, his steel-toed boots echoing heavily on the distressed blonde faux hardwood floors. He stopped to adjust a few tables, double-checking sightlines and looking over the layout of the tables. The upside-down chair legs cast long shadows in the soft pink neon glow. 

He looked up at the sign above the bar that read "Anne-Marie's." He smiled, not caring if anyone thought it was cheesy to name his restaurant after his mother.  His mom had always been his lucky star, and he couldn't have gotten through the last couple of years without her. 

"You look so serious,' a voice behind him startled him out of his thoughts.

"What the fuck Hima," Ashton yelped, clutching his chest dramatically. "I thought you were still in the kitchen." 

"The guys didn't leave me anything to do so I decided to change and have a drink with you before my brother gets here," she tossed her bag and chef's coat onto a stool grinning at Ashton. She hopped up to sit on the bar before swinging her legs around as she pushed off. Landing without a wobble she reached under the bar and grabbed a bottle of black label Bushmill's Irish Whiskey and two short glasses. 

"Straight for the good stuff, I like the way you think," Ashton smirked, taking a seat at the bar. 

"To simply mark the occasion, of course" she poured them each a shot before adding a splash of water.  She raised her glass, "Cheers to you, Boss, and to Anne-Marie's." 

They clinked glasses. "Couldn't have done it without you," he replied before taking a sip.

"Awwwwww thanks Ashtton, " she grinned at him. "Damn that's good, the whiskey makes me forgive the Irish for how dreadful Guinness is. Did you see Kevin Mackie snuck in last night? I expect a write up in the Metro on Tuesday and I know you saw Patricia Bennett," she rolled her eyes at the name.

"She makes herself hard to miss," he snorted. "I missed Mackie though. Why didn't you tell me?" 

"Because we were busy and I didn't have time for you to get all giggly and nervous. He got the crab puffs and the Mac and Brie and inhaled them. You were right about the nutmeg; I thought he was going to lick the plate."  She opened two bottles of beer before hopping back over the bar and taking a seat next to Ashton. 

"How did this weekend compare to the opening of ‘Lune Rouge’? Was it as good as the first time?" Hima finished her whiskey before shaking a pack of Camel Crush cigarettes out of her bag. 

"If you get ashes on the bar Paloma will flip her shit," Ashton warned. 

"I'm not afraid of her," Hima snipped, but she made sure to be careful. No sense in antagonizing their temperamental main bartender. 

"This opening was definitely smoother than the first one. We didn't know what the hell we were doing. The first night we ran out of duck fat and gorgonzola before the dinner rush was over. My sous chef's sister had to run to Whole Foods for emergency supplies. We got lucky the press ignored us for a couple weeks until we got a little buzz going. This time I knew what to expect but there was also more pressure," he paused, taking a pull on the bottle of beer. "This time I  expected to succeed right out of the gate." 

"You succeeded there," Hima stubbed her cigarette out in her empty glass. "I really need to quit." 

"You could get a puff bar and start vaping," he teased.

"I'm not a fucking junior varsity cheerleader. I can take my cancer like a big girl." She checked her phone. "Ugh it's almost nine, and it's gonna take me at least thirty minutes to get home. You're closing tomorrow with me right?" 

"Yeah, I'll be in around 11 all this week. Rafi is handling brunch with Gloria but I want to be here," Ashton double-checked his phone. "Tuesday I have that interview with Men's Life and they just emailed me." 

Hima saw his nose scrunch up as he read.  "What's wrong?" 

"I thought they were sending Taj, but instead of rescheduling the interview, they're sending Calum Hood," Ashton sneered. 

"Chill dude, it's not that bad," Hima was confused by the venom in his voice. "Yeah he's a bit of a goof, but he's hot and not a pretentious dickhead. They could've sent Felipe." 

"True, true," he grumbled as he saw a black Honda pull up outside. "Kabir is here." 

"Shit, ok see you tomorrow, Boss," she grabbed her stuff, gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, and ran out the door, locking it behind her. 

Ashton walked through once again. He made sure the lights were off in the employee lounge. Since many of his staff members used public transport or worked two jobs, Rafi had convinced Ashton to provide his staff with a decent place to take a break and get ready before or after work.  He built a small shower stall, lockers, and provided clean towels, and as his new kitchen manager, Rafi took responsibility for maintaining the space. Ashton took a last look at the bar, double-checking for any stray ashes Hima might have missed before setting the alarm, locking up, and heading home. 

Calum opened the email from his editor and swore loud enough to wake the scruffy brown terrier mix snoozing at his feet.

Hey Cal,

Sorry it's such short notice but Taj's mom had an emergency and I need you to cover for him. He's interviewing Ashton Irwin, remember him? He had the Lune Rouge a few years ago. Well, he's got a new place, diverse staff and we're doing a feature. Maybe even the cover if he's really pretty. Tuesday at 2 pm I'll send you the address and details after I talk to Taj. Oh, and my friend Nick is coming into town and I told him you'd show him around. It's been a while since you had a date but you'll like him. He's kinda short, but he's got big muscles, huge dick, perfect credit. You could do a lot worse.

Call me tomorrow

Sham

This isn't good, this isn't good. Calum's mind was racing. He rubbed his temples trying to think. Taj was notoriously reliable and responsible, so if he was taking off on short notice, it must be serious. It was just his bad luck it was Ashton Irwin. 

He usually covered travel and sports for Men's Life while Taj handled food and fashion. Calum didn't mind taking back food and dining for the time being. He'd started in that industry, working as a line cook while he went to school for journalism. He'd quit both when a flirty, older professor recommended him for an internship at California Culture and he managed to land a real job. Professor Davis had been highly disappointed to lose him as a student and catch him making out with her son who went to the same college. He'd found a tiny shitty apartment, spent his life on the road for work, and sent every penny he didn't need to live on to his family. He didn't even date for the longest time until he met a handsome blonde with sharp features and a sharper tongue.

He couldn't remember if it was four years ago or five, but he clearly recalled his review of Lune Rouge had not been nice. Calum was in a toxic relationship with the restaurant's sous chef at the time. He'd let his personal life spill over into his work for the first and only time. It wasn't something Calum was proud of and while he felt he owed Ashton an apology, the right time and place hadn't presented itself yet. He'd run into Ashton twice since then. The first time he was with his husband, and Calum wasn't about to humble himself in front of Luke. The second encounter came not long after their marriage broke up. Calum was dating a photographer at the time, when Ashton came to the photographer’s art show. They were briefly introduced but Ashton's chilly demeanor discouraged any further conversation, so Calum avoided him the rest of the evening. He remembered being unable to stop staring at the handsome chef with the sad eyes. He'd always hoped they'd bump into each other under better circumstances. I guess an interview will have to do.

********

Ashton sat out on his condo balcony overlooking Echo Park, taking in the night air and enjoying a second bottle of IPA. Hima was right, the opening had been a smash. Anne-Marie's had the best staff he'd ever had the pleasure of working with, and aside from a small mix up between gruyere and Havarti cheese, the opening had been smooth. The alcohol hummed in his veins as he allowed his mind to wander back five years. 

Lune Rouge's opening had been a chaotic mess of brilliance, balls, and blind luck. He was a year out of culinary school, newly married, and ecstatically in love with his husband. Luke was a trust fund baby; his dad ran a major studio. He put up the funding for their restaurant which procured a prime spot in trendy West Hollywood. Ashton had the idea of taking traditional French cuisine and turning it into "pub grub." Luke created a kitschy tacky cool interior with the ambiance of fairy light curtains, vintage 90's movie posters, an eye-popping pink and aqua come scheme.  Featuring a bartender who doubled as a DJ, the restaurant became an immediate hot spot.  

 The culinary press treated them like rock stars and it went to their head.  Ashton was portrayed as the mysterious boy genius, boisterous and foul-mouthed, he ran the back of the house, oversaw the business and created the menu. Luke, who's blonde-haired blue-eyed good looks were regularly described as "angelic", was the frontman, often schmoozing in the dining room, taking song requests, or slinging drinks behind the bar. They worked so well together until they didn't. 

Ashton shook his head, not allowing himself to linger on negative thoughts, not when he'd fought to regain balance. He'd spent the last year freeing himself from the wreckage of his partnership with Luke. Still, tonight after the opening, alone and overlooking the city lights, his mind kept going back to the exhilaration of that first opening night. After they stayed late with the crew for a drink to celebrate, Luke's hand wandered up Ashton's thigh causing him to almost choke on his tequila. Soon Luke started whining about all the paperwork he had to do before they could go home. The crew quickly bagged it out of there, not wanting to get roped into more work. 

Ashton swallowed at the memory before glancing around at the other balconies. It was late enough most of his neighbors should be asleep. Already hard, he reached down and squeezed his bulge through the thin fabric of his pajama pants. 

After letting everyone else out of Lune Rouge that first night he'd been puzzled to find Luke no longer at the bar. He heard noises coming from the office. When he opened the door, he found his husband, shirtless, and waiting for him. 

Ashton slid his hand into his pants swiping his thumb across the leaking tip. He heard a sliding glass door open and froze in place until he realized it was his neighbor below him chatting on the phone. He stroked himself and let his mind wander back to Luke. It had been too long since Ashton got laid, and Luke was still the best sex he'd ever had. He shuddered and bit his lip thinking about the way Luke grinned at him as he opened the office door. Before Ashton could say a word, Luke was sinking to his knees. A bit awkward given his long legs, but it didn't take long before he was letting Ashton fuck his throat. The thought of those blue eyes looking up at him as Ash's hands tangled in those blonde curls caused a moan to slip out, and his neighbor stopped talking at the sound. 

"I think somebody is having sex," he heard her whisper. He almost laughed. 

His dick was twitching flat against his stomach as he ducked back inside his bedroom, kicked off his pants, and grabbed a small tube of lube. Ashton shut off the light and stepped back outside. 

The breeze cooled his fevered skin as he stood there looking out at the city and stroking his dick. The idea that he could possibly be seen turned him on almost as much as his trip down memory lane.  He swallowed another moan thinking about how Luke's lips felt against his, their tongues tangled until he pulled back looking at Ashton with mischief and love before giving him a wink and turning around. 

Ashton's breath caught in his throat as he worked his cock thinking about it. The red and white striped pants his husband pranced around in that night had been blissful torment working him up until the moment he slid those pants down and bent over the desk.

"Come take what's yours, my love, I've been wanting you all night," he cooed, wiggling his hips. 

Luke was a whiny boy when he was getting pounded, and the memory sent Ashton closer to the edge. He felt his knees tremble as he increased his speed, the city lights becoming starbursts in his vision as he edged himself closer. At the moment of release, he swore he could feel Luke pushing back against him taking him in as deep as he could go. 

When Ashton opened his eyes, he found himself sweaty and streaked with his own seed. He was amazed he'd managed to stay quiet, but his neighbor was chatting away obliviously. He went back inside, cracked another beer, and took it with him into the shower, trying to focus on his day tomorrow.

 It was after midnight by the time he went to bed. His body was exhausted but the adrenaline from the opening weekend hadn't quite worn off. He found himself still restless and playing on his phone. After scrolling through Instagram, he found himself looking at the page belonging to the Galway Grill-- Ashton cringed at the name-- an Irish pub and microbrewery very recently opened by Luke and his boyfriend Finn. 

Ashton simmered with resentment perusing the menu; they'd recycled at least half of the Lune Rouge recipes, his creations. He'd heard they'd rushed their opening to launch the week before Anne-Marie's, and even with Daddy's deep pockets the decor looked slapped together, all flash no class. He came to a picture of the happy couple and couldn't help but notice how thin and tired Luke looked despite his huge smile. He felt a twinge of concern for his ex before pushing his phone away in disgust. Rolling out of bed, he headed to the bathroom and fished an orange prescription bottle out of the cabinet. He broke a valium in half and swallowed the smaller piece with a gulp of water straight from the faucet. He scrolled through different sounds on his phone before settling on crashing waves. He spent the next ten minutes stretching and practicing deep breathing to push out any lingering negativity and troubling thoughts. It was too late to drag up the past and there was nothing to be gained. Ashton crawled back under the duvet and sank into a deep sleep dreaming of blue eyes.

*********

Hima rolled into work a little after one, pleased to see a decent lunch crowd and multiple delivery orders going out. She ordered a chicken mojito wrap for her lunch and headed back to the office to find Ashton. She found him in his chair with his laptop open on his desk, a notebook in his lap while scrolling through his phone. 

"So what's the Monday morning report, Boss?" She asked, taking a seat across from him. 

Ashton was beaming as he spun the laptop around to show her. "We made 30% over our projected sales. We came in right at payroll, actually a little under if you can believe that." 

"I've checked the reservation book," she responded, flashing her phone. "We're booked solid for dinner Friday and Saturday and will call is 3 pm-7 pm. We're probably going to have to do that all week." 

"Whatever you need. This weekend is going to be bonkers. If you have any suggestions, I'd like to do something for the staff. That reminds me, I've got to talk to Maisie." He scribbled down a quick note.

"She's already on it," Hima laughed. "The servers who struggled are coming in for extra training with her and Dakota. I have no doubt she'll straighten them up or ship them out."  

Ashton nodded as Daniel knocked on the office door to bring their lunch. 

"How's it going out there? Let us know if you need anything," Ashton told him.

"We've got this, Boss, enjoy your lunch," Daniel closed the door behind him.

"He's Rafi's brother?" Hima asked before taking a big bite. 

"Cousin, Gloria is his sister," Ashton replied tucking into his roasted corn and quinoa salad with queso fresco. 

"Are you ready for this interview tomorrow? You look tired," Hima looked concerned. 

"I am tired," he shrugged. "I just wanna get this over with. I'm thrilled we're doing so well, but that's not what the press wants to talk about." 

"Don't think about it like that. Anne-Marie's will stand on her own. You've just gotta get through this week. I know it's a lot," her words were half-muffled by a napkin.

"Tomorrow is the worst of it. Mackie called and is available Tuesday at one or Thursday for dinner around four. Since he's already been here for dinner, I thought I'd let Rafi wow him this time," he told her.

"Good idea, try to keep it short because if he drinks he gets super chatty. He gave a lecture at school and came to the bar afterward; he would not shut up," she warned.

"Chatty bastard, got it," he replied and they both laughed. 

Anne-Marie's was his restaurant, but he couldn't have done it without Hima.  She was fresh out of culinary school working as a line cook at the Hilton when he'd discovered her a little over a year ago. Ashton only lasted four months before chafing under the corporate yoke and deciding to strike out on his own. She'd been the first person he'd hired for the restaurant, guaranteeing her first year's salary out of his own pocket. Rafi and DeSean were excellent managers for the kitchen, but Hima was a coach: she understood the business as a whole. He'd let her handle most of the press and promotion, and she'd scored two big interviews.

Gourmet Table had interviewed him last Thursday The piece wouldn't be that in-depth, but they'd spent three hours photographing food. He expected the Men's Life article to focus more on him and his personal life. Calum Hood was known for his sharp pen and take-no-prisoners style.  He'd given Lune Rouge two stars and a biting review during a brief stint at California Culture before he'd become known. It was five years ago, but Ashton still had the clipping somewhere. Calum had branded Lune's food as tasty and imaginative but thought the presentation was lacking in creativity. He'd ripped into the decor, calling it "somewhere between art house and frat house," and labeled Luke and Ashton "spoiled pretty boys pretending to be chefs." Luke had brushed it off with a laugh, but it still bothered Ashton. 

Unlike the Hemmings’, Ashton’s family didn't have money to throw around. He'd started at sixteen, washing dishes and peeling vegetables for Chef François at Bordeaux on Hollywood. He'd taken culinary classes after high school while working full time. Sadly, Chef François had a heart attack and retired around the time he met Luke. 

"You're not listening again," Hima complained, licking her fingers. "Rafi killed it with this wrap. The chicken is amazing, but the cucumber-mint salad and the tamarind chili mayo are next fucking level." 

"You're right, I'm not. Sorry about that," he pushed his plate aside.

"Ok, what's got you so rattled? You've handled the press like a champ up until now. Is it Mackie or Hood? Who needs to catch these hands?" Hima stood and assumed a fighter's stance, bouncing on her toes. 

"Easy there killer, I can defend my own honor. Mackie is an irritating little mosquito. He just wants gossip, but he's got enough readers so we all have to kiss his ass. Hood gave me one of the few bad reviews we got at Lune, and it stuck. He called us frat boys and said we were trying too hard," Ashton rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed by saying it out loud. 

Hima raised her eyebrows and smirked, "I love it when you're petty. You're always so perfect and Zen, it's annoying." 

"My therapist would disagree. Oh shit, that reminds me," he straightened up in his chair and grabbed his phone. "I've got an appointment at 2:30. I'll be back before 4," he dropped his eyes to the floor. 

"Ashton," her voice was soft but commanding, and he looked up. "I don't know what's going on, and if you don't want to tell me that's fine. I want you to take care of yourself, whatever that takes. Ok?" He nodded and she smiled, "You can tell Dr. Claire that I've confirmed her for 8 pm Saturday, and you're going to personally cook her dinner. We've got the 50th anniversary that night so maybe you could flex and make your Pavlova's? I'll get the berries myself." 

"It's a deal; we can comp them champagne, too. I'd better get going before I get yelled at. She's a stickler for punctuality, I think it's a British thing."  

"I'll hold things down until you get back," Hima gathered up the dishes and headed out with Ashton right behind her. 

*********

Ashton drew a deep breath and exhaled through his nose as the reporter settled in the chair across from him.  Kevin Mackie's column in L.A. Metro was the definitive opinion for restaurants on the West Coast. His readers loved the snarky tone, celeb sightings, and bitchy gossip that peppered his column. His reviews could make or break new restaurants. 

"Let me start off by saying I love the decor of this place. It's rustic, but not in that played out, hipster-in-the-woods nonsense," he leaned in and lowered his voice towards the end of the comment with a coy smirk. 

"You'll find no Mason jars here," Ashton replied, taking the bait. Kevin liked people who liked him, and his most recent column was a snarky takedown of "Pinterest style interiors." Ashton found the article tedious and uninspired, but there was no need to be antagonistic right out of the gate. 

Ashton watched as the reporter ordered his lunch from their server Zia. He guessed Kevin to be in his forties, and he thought he could see fresh hair plugs, bleached blonde, and a bit of Botox. Rumor had it, he'd recently split with his long-time girlfriend over a fling with a much younger waiter. Ashton tried not to pay attention to industry gossip. However, his personal problems made their way into the column more than once, and he couldn't help but feel the tiniest bit of satisfaction at the other man's problems. 

After they'd both ordered, Kevin sat back and took a sip of his Pellegrino water and smacked his lips. "I was here the other night and I have to admit I was prepared to be underwhelmed. A menu based on sandwiches and comfort food sounded like an upscale Applebee's, but I really liked it despite myself. I was surprised to see your main girl was on the mature side, but she's efficient as hell so I get the trade-off." 

Ashton's body tensed at the insult to Maisie, and he took a deep breath. Exhaling through his nose he forced a smile that didn't reach his eyes. Kevin was prattling on with some bit of gossip as Ashton sipped on his iced coffee. 

"So let's start with something simple and ease our way into the rough stuff," Kevin set his voice recorder on the table between them. "Tell me how you formulated your top-secret house coffee blend." 

Ashton broke into a wide grin as he described taking two months to travel and sample different beans, learn more about the roasting and blending process. Kevin sipped his coffee and nodded as if deep in thought, but his eyes kept wandering to Ashton's biceps. He'd been baking this morning so he smelled of cinnamon, his black t-shirt damp and clingy from sweating under his chef coat.

"So we sell the house blend all year, but we have single-source coffee that's seasonal, all of it fair trade," Ashton finished proudly. 

"Coffee has always been your thing if I remember correctly," Kevin said.

"True, true, and once I started roasting my own beans it became a true obsession." 

Kevin followed it up with a couple more softball questions about menu details and sandwiches. Ashton expounded on his love of food. "Cooking for someone is a simple way to show care, to be enjoyed almost as much as dining should be. Food is caring and comfort; it sustains us. It brings people together in a shared experience."

 "Ooh that's a nice pull quote," Mackie chuckled. "I love when y'all have media training. It makes the bullshit flow much smoother.

Ashton seethed but said nothing. He'd watched this man's pettiness wreck a good opening, and Ashton couldn't do that to his crew. Zia brought their lunch. Ashton noticed Kevin had also ordered the chicken mojito wrap. 

"This looks delicious. I think it's a nice touch that you've got so much, let's say diversity, in your restaurant. That you're actually letting them make their own food makes your menu more interesting. Not all restaurants get it. Please tell me you've seen how horribly Finn ripped you off for that tacky Irish pub," Kevin glanced up at him a tiny smirk playing on

"I haven't paid any attention to that," Ashton wanted to end the interview right there. 

"Oh come on, you've had to see how much he's trying to recreate the magic you and Luke once had. The menu is tired, I don't give a fuck if he is Irish. Finn has no imagination yet fancies himself an impresario. Luke's still got it though. He even asked when I was coming here. I didn't tell him of course, I'm a professional after all." 

"Of course," Ashton nodded checking out of the conversation. The reporter talked as he ate which given the wrap he was eating proved especially messy and little flecks of food kept flying his way. Ashton watched the door, nodding at customers, silently willing someone to come and save him. Kevin was still talking about himself when Hima and Zia came out of the kitchen. Ashton tried to catch their eye when he felt a hand on his arm. 

"I wanna ask you about that one," Kevin leaned in so he could almost whisper.

"Who? Hima? What about her?" Ashton was pretty sure he wasn't going to like the answer. 

"What's the deal? I've only ever seen you with Luke. Did your palette change that much? India must've been a real spiritual awakening for you huh?" Kevin winked at him, thinking he was clever. 

Ashton controlled his breathing trying to keep his temper in check. He looked over at the reporter who kept talking oblivious to the situation. 

"Who doesn't like trying something exotic. She seems like a smart cookie. She's darker than most Indian girls you see, like a rich brown butter sauce. I bet she tastes like tumeric though." 

"Get out of my restaurant" Ashton hissed, his hands gripping the table to restrain himself from physical violence. "You are not going to insult my staff, my friends, in their restaurant." 

Kevin started to speak but Ashton cut him off.

"Not another fucking word" he kept his voice at a low growl so as not to cause a scene. He noticed a couple of the closest tables were already watching them. "You've said enough and I'm barely holding back as it is. Get out of my restaurant, don't ever come back, don't ever speak to me again, and if you trash me in this review I promise you I will find you and fuck you up personally." Ashton stood up and Kevin flinched, the sight would have made him laugh if he hadn't been so furious. He stepped back and the reporter scrambled out of his seat leaving his lunch unfinished. Ashton walked back into the kitchen, Hima fast on his heels. He kicked the door open to the break room and headed for the speed bag hanging in the corner. He'd learned the hard way punching walls usually resulted in the wall winning the fight so he'd given himself something easier on his hands. 

Hima watched him from the door, his back and biceps rippling as he went two minutes at full speed. When he finally turned around she could see the anger had cooled somewhat. She hated that her boss looked incredibly sexy when he was angry. 

"Are you gonna tell me what happened?" She asked when he turned back around. 

"Nope, it'll just piss me off all over again, and I gotta get ready for another fucking interview. With a guy who already doesn't like me," Ashton put this coat back on and headed into the line to check on Rafi. 

At least the second interview can't be worse, she thought, wishing she believed it. 

*********

Calum eased his beat up Range Rover into the parking lot of Anne-Marie's amongst the Mercedes, Audi's, and Teslas. He cursed the traffic when he checked the time. He was late, and they were busy. Not a good look he thought, grabbing his bag. 

He smiled at the ladies waiting for a table before introducing himself to the impossibly serene hostess. He was quickly led to a table in an alcove not far from the kitchen. As he pulled out his voice recorder and notebook, he noticed a young woman heading his way. Her black hair was knotted tightly in a bun on top of her head, and her chef's coat had a large streak of what might be hollandaise sauce. He remembered his editor, Jacqueline, telling him Anne-Marie's had a female sous chef. He checked the notes she'd given him quickly as she was stopped by a server. Hima, Culinary Institute of America graduate, 23, Indian maybe? 

"Hello I'm Hima Singh, you must be Calum Hood," she greeted him. From up close, he noticed that her eyes were a rich golden brown and that her smile didn't reach her eyes. He chalked it up to her youth; his editor said she was 23 but she looked like a teenager. He mentally stopped himself there. He'd become jaded by one too many husband/wife teams in recent years trying to rebrand a post-divorce startup as a "new adventure." While the divorce was true, Calum knew Ashton's history.

"Yup that's me, it's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Hima," he shook her hand, relieved to see her relax a bit. 

"Chef Irwin will be out shortly. He's helping with a problem in the back" she glanced towards the kitchen, and Calum had a feeling she was lying.

"Can I get you something while you wait? Do you like coffee? We have a house blend cold brew Chef Irwin selected himself that we roast and grind on-site," she asked motioning towards the sign listing the daily selection of teas and coffee. 

"Thanks, but maybe not coffee. I'm nervous enough without more caffeine," he admitted, "but the lavender and blackberry infused lemonade sounds amazing." He smiled and her face softened. 

"Absolutely," she signaled to Zia who brought Calum his drink and a basket of warm, fluffy yeast rolls with Anne Marie's cinnamon honey butter. The smell reminded Calum he'd skipped breakfast as his stomach began to rumble. 

"So you're Chef Irwin's sous chef? I heard a rumor you were a partner as well," he asked, almost drooling as he tore into the soft bread, watching the steam escape. 

"Yes sir," Hima's smile finally reached her eyes, and she sat down across from him. "When he got his core team together for Anne Marie's, there's three of us total. Desean and Rafi are his kitchen managers, and he gave us the opportunity to buy in as minority investors, no pun intended." 

"These rolls are incredible. Please take one before I finish this whole basket and ruin my lunch. How long have the three of you worked for Ashton, excuse me, Chef Irwin?" He asked.

"Desean and Rafi were part of his Lune Rouge crew. They go way back, but he met me fresh out of school and took me under his wing," she told him.

"Did you go to CIA?" Calum was jotting down notes, getting a feel for the story.

"I wish, it's so pretty up there. My twin brother attended Brown, and I went to Johnson and Wales so we could stay close." 

"You're a twin? Is he a chef as well?" Calum asked.

"Are you kidding? He's a lawyer, of course, my parents had to have one in the family," Hima laughed. 

Zia appeared beside their table. "I'm sorry to interrupt, but Rafi is looking for you, Hima." 

A worried frown replaced her warm smile and Calum felt his nerves bubbling back up. He glanced around and caught sight of Ashton, flushed and sweaty from the heat of the kitchen, poking his head around the corner. Their eyes met, and Calum felt like he'd been hit by lightning.  

Hima saw his reaction and whipped around to see what Calum was looking at. Spotting her boss she quickly excused herself and hurried to the back. 

Zia cleared her throat and Calum realized she was still standing next to his table.

"Would you like to try Rafi's plantain skewers while you wait? It's my favorite thing here, and it'll leave room for whatever these geniuses cook up," she asked with a smile and a wink. 

He nodded and she headed to the server station to put the order in. Calum looked around and started taking notes.  The most striking thing about the decor was how they'd used diffused skylights for soft lighting to accent the Nakashima-style crafted wooden furniture.�� Thanks to his Mom’s love of Antiques Roadshow when he was younger Calum discovered his preference for natural grain wood and bespoke pieces. He liked the use of pastel neon signs to complement the muted green and blue tones of the mosaic tile floors and he thought the framed pictures of what he assumed were family photos of the staff provided a really nice personal touch. The largest photo was in the bar of Ashton and his mother, the restaurant's namesake, Anne Marie. 

Zia set a plate down in front of him. "The boss will be out in a minute., Let me get you some more tea," she told him. 

The skewers consisted of chunks of pineapple, plantain, red onion, and sweet potato grilled and dusted with chili powder and brown sugar served with a yogurt sauce for dipping. 

Calum was almost finished with the first one when Ashton came out of the back, making his way towards him. The chef stopped to talk to several customers, the hostess, and Zia before he made it to Calum's table. Cal licked his fingers, wiping his hands clean with a Sani-wipe before standing up and offering a handshake. 

Ashton took his hand and Calum wasn't expecting it to feel so soft. Caught off guard Calum stammered out an introduction as he sat, but he noticed Ashton just nodded, barely listening. 

"If today isn't a good day we can reschedule," Calum sipped his tea, his throat suddenly dry.

"I'm here aren't I?" Ashton snapped. He folded his arms across his chest, his hazel eyes narrowing at Calum. "I still remember your first review you know."

Calum's pulse was racing. He hated confrontation, and he hadn't expected Ashton to kick off right away. He knew he'd better suck it up and apologize if this wasn't going to go completely off the rails. 

"Listen, I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't have been such a dickhead."  As he spoke Ashton scoffed at him and Calum felt his cheeks get warm.  "I was young and stupid. I let something personal affect that review. I'm sorry." 

"Personal? With Luke? What do you mean by that?" Ashton went from annoyed to hostile.

Calum realized he'd said something wrong but wasn't sure what exactly. He was floundering trying to think of what to say next. 

"Nothing with Luke, no no no. I was involved with Finn and we weren't getting along. It's so stupid I know, but I think you're a great chef. The new place looks incredible, and Hima is a delight." 

The anger drained from Ashton's face, leaving him looking empty and sad. His head dropped to his chest, and Calum held his breath waiting for him to speak. 

"I'm really sorry, it's not you, but I can't do this right now. Maybe we can reschedule or something. My apologies, but I have to get back to work," Ashton mumbled, standing up. 

Calum spotted Hima watching them from the podium, chewing on her lip, her black eyes wide with concern as Ashton hurried back to the kitchen. Calum started to get up but she was too quick for him. 

"Well, aren't you lucky. I'm going on my lunch and I hate to eat alone," she slid back into the seat across from him. "Please forgive my boss. He's had a rough day, but I'm better company anyway." She waved to Zia who headed their way. "You gotta try the toasted gnocchi with gorgonzola cream sauce if you like cheese, but if you want something lighter the apple carrot kale wrap is excellent too," she smiled at him, and to her relief he smiled back, both of them realizing the situation might be salvageable after all.

(A/N: y’all my tag list, much like my life, is a hot mess. I know some of what I write isn’t for everyone. If you want tagged in part 2 of this fic or my upcoming smuts, pink kink series, or dad!calum series please let me know. I apologize for my previous mistake)

@sublimehood​ @tea4sykes​ @be-ready-when-i-say-go​ @scribblesos​ @kiiiimberlyriiiicker1995​ @wildmichaelflower​ @castaway-cashton​ @damselindistressanu​ @notinthesameguey​ @cashtonasfuck​ @irwinkitten​ @mermaidcashton​ @malumsmermaid​

[letterboxd]

The Other Bill and Ted.

As No Man of God hits theaters and VOD following its Tribeca premiere in June, director Amber Sealey talks to Dominic Corry about her Ted Bundy two-hander and answers our Life in Film questions.

Amber Sealey has been very acknowledging of the fact that her new film is one of many to center around the horrific crimes of serial rapist and murderer Ted Bundy. As she outlined in her Tribeca Q&A with Letterboxd, one way she intended No Man of God to stick out from the pack was through the use of consciously silent background characters who represent Bundy’s voiceless victims.

The structure and source of the film also help distinguish it from other Ted Bundy movies: No Man of God is based on the recordings of FBI agent Bill Hagmaier (played in the film by Elijah Wood), who was tasked with interviewing an incarcerated Bundy in the years leading up to his execution, in order to help determine whether or not he was criminally insane, which could’ve helped to remove Bundy from death row.

With many of Bundy’s victims never officially attributed to the killer, Hagmaier also sought to draw confessions, and something resembling remorse, out of Bundy, to help bring closure to those victims’ families. As detailed in the film, much of which was taken directly from transcripts of the interviews, Bundy and Hagmaier’s relationship was complicated, and the intimacy that develops between them informs No Man of God in often uncomfortable ways.

Luke Kirby and Elijah Wood in a scene from ‘No Man of God’.

Wood (also a producer on the film) and Luke Kirby turn in career-high work as Hagmaier and Bundy, respectively, while Sealey textures the film with some of the most emotive stock-footage montage sequences this side of The Parallax View. Among positive reactions to the film, Claira Curtis, in a four-star review, writes: “Perhaps one of the most successful elements lies in Amber Sealey’s uncentering of the ‘genius’ moniker that has followed Bundy through his years of infamy.” On the pairing of Wood and Kirby in the leading roles, Connor Ashdown-Ford notes that “the chemistry between them both is so authentic it’s darn right unsettling”.

Unsettling is right. Late in the film, Sealey depicts a real-life TV interview that took place between Bundy and evangelical preacher/​author/​psychologist James Dobson (played by stalwart character actor Christian Clemonson), who uses Bundy to forward his anti-pornography agenda. Throughout this scene, the camera lingers on a young female member of the TV crew (played by an uncredited Hannah Jessup) as she silently reacts to being in Bundy’s presence. Emblematic of Sealey’s aforementioned philosophy in constructing the film, it’s a moment that appears to be having an impact on audiences, as detailed in Nolan Barth’s review: “She might have one of my favorite performances of this year? She shows us fascination, guilt, disgust and fear in like only 30 seconds of screen time. Give her an Oscar. Please.”

In an awkward incident that represents a perhaps unanticipated effect of there being so many contemporaneous movies with the same subject matter, director Joe Berlinger (Metallica: Some Kind of Monster, the Paradise Lost trilogy), who recently directed both the Zac Efron-starring scripted Ted Bundy biopic Extremely Wicked, Shockingly Evil and Vile and the documentary Conversations with a Killer: The Ted Bundy Tapes, sent an email to Sealey ahead of No Man of God’s Tribeca premiere about remarks she had made while discussing how her film differentiated itself from the existing Ted Bundy movies. He felt she had accused him of glorifying Bundy. After Sealey took the exchange public, she explained to Variety that she had never singled out Berlinger’s films in any of her remarks.

In a conversation with Letterboxd, Sealey delves into her approach to No Man of God, and talks about some of her filmic inspirations.

‘No Man of God’ director Amber Sealey.

There is really effective and creepy use of stock-footage montages in this film. Sometimes you see that sort of thing at the beginning of a film, but it’s interesting that you keep going back to them after using them in the opening credits. What was the thinking in using those montages and how did you select the footage? Amber Sealey: The thinking for those was a couple things: One, we don’t leave the prison, and I wanted [the audience] to know a little bit what’s going on outside, in terms of the cultural zeitgeist, like what’s the tone of the time? What movies are popular? What books are popular? What are people wearing? I wanted to have there be a kind of cultural touchstone outside of the prison, but at the same time I wanted it to represent potentially a little bit of what was going on inside Bill’s mind. So the story of the montages as they go on, it gets a little bit more fucked up, for lack of a better word, for Bill, inside of his head.

We were originally going to shoot the crowd scenes [of protesters outside the prison] and recreate them and then because of Covid restrictions, we couldn’t do that anymore. So then I knew we were going to be using archival footage for the crowd, and I didn’t want the archival crowd footage to suddenly jump out as being so different from the rest of our film. We’re shooting on an ARRI camera, [so it’s] not going to look like a Hi-8 from the 1980s. I needed to incorporate this look, this ’80s grainy look into the rest of the movie so that it feels like it’s part and parcel of the film, part of the storytelling.

We got [the footage] in different ways. I have an old friend that I’ve known since I was like, two, he lived next door to me, and my cousin, they both had video cameras in the ’80s and would film everything. So some of that footage is old family footage of their family or friends. There’s a couple shots in there of my neighbors when I was growing up. Then some of it, we did a lot of research on [stock-imagery services] Getty and Pond5, just finding archival footage that we could use that really told the story that we wanted to tell with the montages. It was a lengthy process finding all of that footage for sure.

What was Bill Hagmaier’s involvement in the film? Bill is an executive producer on the film, so he was very involved. The transcripts of those conversations between Bill and Ted, we got from Bill. Bill gave us so much great stuff to work with—the newer FBI files that he was allowed to share with us and the recordings, and when the script was originally written it was written based off of those recordings, and the writer originally spoke to Bill and then when I came on board, I talked to him and then I changed the script, even more from conversations I had with him. He was just a resource.

Almost every [character] you see on screen, those are real people, and he hooked us up with a lot of those real people. I spoke with the prison guards and the wardens and all of that. Then he was just a resource in terms of like, I would ask him, “what color were your shoes?” “Did you carry this kind of briefcase or that kind of briefcase?” Because it was important to me that all that production-design stuff was really authentic. I liked to know, like, “what were your haircuts like then, Bill?” So he was available to talk about the emotional side of things, and then the real just humdrum kind of things. He’s just a lovely guy, he’s really supportive of me and of the film and he just wanted to be accessible as much as he could and he was. He’s a very humble, generous person.

Aleksa Palladino plays civil-rights attorney Carolyn Lieberman to Luke Kirby’s Ted Bundy.

What films did you watch, or cite as reference points in preparation for No Man of God? Literally hundreds and hundreds of movies. When I’m looking for my creative look, I just watched so many films, and a lot of old films. I’d have to go back and look at my look book to tell you all of them but I pull images from the weirdest places. But once I get past figuring out the creative look of the film, I don’t then like to watch the movies a lot because I try to really make it its own thing and I worry too much that I’ll be copycatting other artists and I want to try [to] avoid that.

What’s your favorite true-crime movie? Oh god, what was the one about the guy who like, went to the bathroom and confessed, accidentally? He forgot his mic was on? Do you remember that one?

The Jinx? Yeah. Even though it’s a documentary, I’m going to go with that.

What’s your favorite big-screen serial-killer performance? It has to be Luke Kirby. Luke Kirby as Bundy.

What was the first horror film you saw? My dad had me watch Cat People when I was nine. Does that count?

The Val Lewton one? The ’80s one.

Oh, the Paul Schrader one? Yes! The Paul Schrader one.

Nastassja Kinski in Paul Schrader’s ‘Cat People’ (1982).

When you were nine years old? Yeah. I also watched Blue Velvet when I was nine. Oh wow, thank you Dad.

What’s the most disturbing film you’ve ever seen? Most disturbing, hmm… Kids.

What film made you want to become a filmmaker? It was Michael Winterbottom’s Nine Songs. My first film was a reaction to that movie. I’m a huge Winterbottom fan. That’s a great movie, but also it advertises itself as being a real relationship and real sex and I watched it and I was like, well that’s not like any… it was like two models, you know? Their sex scenes were like a perfume ad and I was like, well that’s not what real sex looks like for real people. I made my first feature after that.

What’s your go-to comfort movie? Oh, so many, let’s think. The Proposal. I love Trainwreck. I really like rom-coms, like if I’m sick or something, I’ll watch rom-coms. Roman Holiday, stuff like that.

What’s a classic that you couldn’t get into or that you think is overrated? Umm. Star Wars. I’m trying to think, there’s something else that I just don’t like… everyone loves that singing movie. What’s that singing movie that when Moonlight won the Oscar, it got announced?

La La Land. Yeah. I was not into that.

What filmmaker living or dead do you envy/admire the most? Yorgos Lanthimos. Or Phoebe Waller-Bridge.

If you were forced to remake a classic movie, what would you remake? Grease.

Who would be in the cast of your Grease remake? Oh I don't even know but it would be much darker. It would still be a musical and still be funny, but much darker.

I would like to see that movie. I would too.

Related content

Diego’s list of films featuring the FBI

Boris1980’s list of films about serial killers

Follow Dominic on Letterboxd

‘No Man of God’ is in theaters and on VOD from August 27, 2021.

[chiimmchiimm]

❝ 𝓢𝔀𝓮𝓮𝓽 𝓶𝓸𝓸𝓷 !¡ 𝒿𝓀 ❞

The largest herd on the entire East Coast would have a new leader. Qualities were of utmost importance to them, a good alpha had to possess a sense of justice and a beta woman to augment his legacy. Jungkook's parents had accepted their marriage since before he was born. The second strongest family, the Lightwoods, had a perfect beta daughter for their son. However, one night after an unexpected event, Jungkook decided to marry his youngest daughter. 

𝒫𝒶𝒾𝓇𝒾𝓃𝑔:  Jungkookwolf au x (female:Lucy)  𝒢𝑒𝓃𝓇𝑒: smut, wolf au, fluff, angst, one shot.  𝒲𝑜𝓇𝒹𝓈: 16 k    𝑅𝒶𝓃𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓃𝑔: +18   𝒲𝒶𝓇𝓃𝒾𝓃𝑔: abuse, violence, , sadness, psychological abuse, dirty lenjuage, naked, muscles, mating, cumshot, bite, sex. 𝒜𝓊𝓉𝒽𝑜𝓇’𝓈 𝓃𝑜𝓉𝑒: This is my first one shot of this theme I hope you enjoy it. If there is a lot of demand, maybe make another one with the member you choose most. 

Social pressure could be included within the determining factors for anyone to lose their reason, their own identity. Jungkook always considered himself a strong person, both physically and mentally. His education had been one of the best in town, the most neat and disciplined so that I could deal with any problem that might arise. Being the firstborn of an Alpha family was not easy, he lived constantly under the rules, absurd duties and constant dialogues about loyalty.

In Dyonisia, everyone envied him, and for that reason, he always walked alone. He did not like people, he did not like to make friends for convenience, to feel like a sample object to flatter their families. He preferred to sink under his father's extensive library, though he never said no to a walk on the Hun River.

That morning, his father had practically forced him to get out of those four walls, breathe air, take a bit of color, inviting him to interact with the other betas or omegas in town. He had only built a small friendship with a beta, Jimin, the son of his father's assistant, a very brief relationship just by spending good morning, but Jungkook found it pleasant. Perhaps it was her sympathy and the kind smile that she gave her mother every time she brought her hot chocolate. He used to watch those scenes from a porch seat with a book on his lap and another cup to go with. He never got too close, fearing the same rejection as the same betas of his kind. They were supposed to respect him (or at least that's what they did in public) but they never missed an opportunity to denigrate his taste for loneliness, to process low words towards his low weight and unattractiveness. This was her childhood, subjected to constant ridicule that seemed endless.

So when Jungkook culminated in the hormonal process of puberty, his alpha genetics came out in the way his muscles protruded above all those scrawny betas. At twenty-two, he possessed all the qualities necessary to be the new Alpha Chief.

I inhale deeply, filling my lungs with rich natural oxygen. He had always loved the wild smell of pine leaves, the crisp sound of boots as he stepped on dry leaves. Feeling comfortable, he gave himself the pleasure of stretching his shoulders to remove all the accumulated tension, placing a hand on his shoulder to massage the neck area.

He dragged his boots down a small slope of land to approach the shore and touch the crystal clear water, he needed to get drunk from that cold and wet feeling left by the river.

It stopped mid-slope when I hear a couple of voices below.

"What's wrong?" It echoed, a thick, coarse voice with an ironic air. A man of medium height with strong arms and a broad back covered by a white tank top. He seemed to be talking to someone but his physiognomy was so robust that it completely covered him. His shoulders fell serene but the tension was palpable in the muscular contraction of his back. —Come on, darling, you're my girlfriend, you love me, I love you, what do others matter?

“I love you, I'm just not ready to go to those kinds of contacts, sorry.”

"But why not?"

Jungkook analyzed his tired tone, shrewdly deducing that it was not the first time that he had insisted. Then, the boy supported the weight of his body with one leg, discovering with this small act, the body of a girl with whom he spoke so uncomfortable. Slowly her eyes widened with involuntary emotion. She felt chills, the movement of her brown hair against the wind seemed unreal, so soft and fluffy that it caused inhuman impulses to touch it. Big, expressive eyes that screamed what he thought: discomfort and some fear. Letting herself be tamed by sudden curiosity, she began to explore her sweet, perfect features, brown skin, small nose, and prominent natural red lips. It seemed like a beam of light in so much darkness, it really was beautiful. A scent of honey rose from her developed nose, an aroma so exquisite that she had to close her eyes briefly to calm the excited red of her irises. "My love, nobody will know, only you and me.I am giving you an option so that you do not have to pass your fever with those harmful drugs.”

Jungkook raised his eyebrows as surprise hit his facial control. Outraged by his low propositions, he frowned. I calculate that he must have been the same age, therefore, it seemed unheard of to him, considering that he did not seem stupid, that he did not know the serious consequences of such acts. He growled, his toes curling inside his shoes. He showered her with loving flattery whenever he could, yet there was something about his insistence that had him truly concerned. He talked to her about mating as if it was just about sex. That act links two people for life, though, only if the male wants. There was something about the way his fists clenched that prompted his instincts to think he was not to be trusted. He could smell the urge from there, a smell so rotten that his mouth suddenly wrinkled. Jungkook tilted his head to the side to examine his distressed expression, hurt by his little collaboration.

"I have said no."

A smile escaped Jungkook's lips without realizing it.

"But Lucy ..."

Her words stayed in the air when she noticed that the girl caught Jungkook's presence. I swallow hard, her expressive eyes staring at him in panic. The boy turned with his hands on his hips, then raised his eyebrows contemptuously at Jungkook. Quite nervous, Jungkook slid down the slope.

"Didn't they teach you not to listen to private conversations, asshole?"

"Tony, let him."

The boy looked at Lucy abruptly.

"What did I leave him? He could tell your parents about us. This jerk might not have good intentions ..."

"Like the ones you have with her?" He growled, his inner wolf shaking its tail eager to get out. For tearing everything in his canines with his canines. He was sure that the vein in his neck had made its appearance, he felt the blood rise suddenly and collect on his head. Lucy stared at him too shocked, then ducked her head in embarrassment, closing her brown eyes. Jungkook didn't want to make her feel bad, damn it, he should have controlled her tone. Her beautiful hair covered her face with such tender grace. How could someone as sweet as her date someone so hypocritical?

"What have you said?"

"What you listen."

"Give up for dead ..."

Lucy put her hands on his chest to stop him.

"Not here," she pleaded, her eyes set on the ground.

The boy shook his body violently and then roared.

The discussion did not get worse because a group of young betas appeared to camp at the foot of the river. Children who laughed tirelessly until they saw the two wolves pulling their teeth out and roaring intensely at each other. Jungkook was forced to calm down and reticulate for the sake of that foolish beta, he could not, rather, he should not. If his father found out that on his first outing, after so long, he had killed off a dead beta, he would be in real trouble. Everyone knew the difference between beta and alpha strength, it wouldn't have cost Jungkook to destroy him, but it wasn't the right thing to do. He returned to his home and sank into the safety of his room. He slept, ate and breathed thinking of those expressive clear eyes.

Located at the foot of a picturesque cabin where the vines climbed the walls emitting a smell of wet leaves from the recent storm. Today was the great day, that one, in which his role as future leader would consolidate, he would take the privilege of meeting his future wife and in the worst case, the mother of his cubs. His mother was almost as nervous as he was as he tried to calm himself down with exaggerated vents. He was convincing himself that it was the best choice. Her father rang the bell with searing assurance.

"Thanks for coming, Joe," said a robust man thanking him for his visit, Jungkook assumed he was responsible for the family. His mother entered first, giving him a nod in greeting, she did not like the contact very much. At a quick glance I notice Jungkook's presence. "Come on in." Is waiting for you.

His future wife.

Your future Alpha.

He nodded resignedly.

She felt a real desire to back down, to return home with some excuse to excuse her sudden flight. However, I end up entering that cozy house. The commitment was something that had always been in force throughout his life, his father kept reminding him how important it was to find the right partner, how essential it was to get someone with good genetics for the litter. But he was never in favor of arranged marriages, he was never in a hurry to establish love relationships. He always thought that fate would be in charge of introducing him to what would be his alpha, but that was just an absurd wish. Since he turned fifteen and hit the first stretch, his father had been in charge of reminding him, every day until today, that his destiny had been decided.

Enveloped by the pleasant heat of the living room. The house was not very big but enough for them. Sometimes those were the best, since a small house with interactions was better than a huge one where ghosts flooded around the corners.

She left her coat on the polished coat rack in the hall, then headed into the living room. He quickly approached the fireplace to take refuge in the crackling wood as it was burned by the fire.

"Carina, daughter, come down. Your fiance has arrived!"

Jungkook stood by the fireplace while he waited. The sound of heels began to echo down the steps. He raised his head as a new scent filled the room, his nose was suffocated by too intense a perfume. It was not annoying, without going any further, but too excessive. Her nose wrinkled in response. His sense of smell was so muffled that he soon began to crave oxygen.

"I was getting ready, mother," she said, in a charming voice.

Jungkook stifled a brief sigh as his eyes closed. Then he turned around and greeted her with a kiss on the hand. Without much more to say, his skin was overly lubricated and flavored with some artificial citrus from some body cream. I take his small bow as a greeting to tour the girl's body. The dress reached to the ankles where high-heeled shoes stood out with pride. The vermilion color with touches of bows matched a small belt. The dress was wide at the bottom, being narrower at the waist area, accentuating it. Then, I look at the artificial details of her makeup, her red lips highlighted by a lipstick, recently, by how fresh they looked. He had to control the movement of his eyebrows to avoid frowning, the girl was beautiful in itself, she did not need as much makeup. He liked natural appearances more like his mother or that girl on the river.

"Nice to meet you..."

"Carina," she added, quickly with a desperation that covered with a sporadic laugh.

Jungkook replied with a small grimace of politeness. Actually, I was tense.

"Where's your sister, darling?" Asked his mother under his breath. The girl shrugged contemptuously as if she wouldn't mind. Jungkook looked away awkwardly, they were talking in front of him like he wasn't.

"Sorry for being late ..."

Lucy ended her hasty career the moment her large eyes saw the figure of Jungkook occupying half of the room. Being totally paralyzed by the impression. Jungkook, who had recognized that voice, turned in his direction, also opening his eyes in surprise. Lucy closed her mouth as fast as she could, nerves beginning to dominate her movements. Both of them looking at each other in total surprise until their sister stood between them.

“Shall we go to the table?” She suggested, a little annoyed at his extreme attention to his sister.

Jungkook reacted, accepting a little disoriented that he would place an arm inside his forearm.

The couple walked to the table, however, there was a moment when Carina looked back to cast a teasing glance at her sister. Lucy rolled her eyes at his childish behavior.

"I was a little nervous because I didn't know how you were going to react. Really, this is crazy. Arranged marriage ..."

Carina talked and talked but he had lost himself in his thoughts shortly after the start of this conventional conversation. Sitting in front of his parents, with her at his side talking to him about anything he didn't even bother to hear. He hadn't yet touched the suckling pig meat that Mrs. Trivia had so skillfully cooked. His mother was talking to his mother, his father was talking to the other about some topic related to hunting, leaving poor Lucy behind, who was playing with the chicken leg with her fork at the other end of the table. He pursed his lips in a pout as he spun the food lost in his world. She felt boredom and a little angry at her mother for forcing her to attend these kinds of meetings. They didn't even get along with their sister, they were totally opposite. Carina was more flirtatious and concerned about much more "feminine" matters (at least that's what she called housework), Lucy was much more adventurous, carefree, she was a ray of sun molten in hope that exuded happiness for her radiant smile. She raised her eyes from the plate when she felt watched. Jungkook averted his gaze as soon as he rested hers on him.

Feeling even more out of place when she unconsciously watched her sister's hand cling to her strong bicep.

His mother was totally focused on a lively conversation with Jungkook's mother, so much so that when the brunette got up and sneaked out the back door, no one noticed her absence.

Holding between his small fingers his large planted chicken leg.

"Dog, I'm bringing you ..."

An excited bark came out from behind a trash can when the stray dog ​​she cared for behind her mother's back, ran at her in desperate gallops. With his tongue hanging out and his eyes drowning in hunger. Lucy, laughing, crouched down and set the plate down for the poor animal to feast on. The dog did not think twice and eagerly put the ozico in. A mixture of saliva and leftovers of meat began to fall on top of his shoes, he did not care too much, he increased the level of his laughter while he filled his head with caresses.

"Why did you run away?"

Frightened by such a compromising scene, Lucy spun back. When she met Jungkook's worried gaze she placed a hand on her chest and sighed in relief.

"You can't run away from a place you never were," he declares, his so ambiguous little confession decreasing in pitch as he turns back to the animal. He repeatedly pats his head as he watches his little fight with the larger area. Jungkook bows his head. He analyzes her curiously, a feeling similar to what she feels for him.

"Sorry," he whispers. Jungkook stops looking at the animal, directs his frown at her while undoing the smile that he doesn't know when he's formed. "This morning. Tony's."

-Why do you apologize? It wasn't your fault. ”Confused, he intensifies the wrinkle on his forehead.

"For not respecting you, Alpha. If I had known that ..."

"Stop justifying an apology," he replies, through an excessively abruptness. Lucy ducks her head in shame hidden under her long hair. Jungkook begins to feel remorse when he smells his sadness with his experienced sense of smell. So weak and fragile. He does not know how to react, it is the first time that he is in front of a woman and the dumbness reigns, the words have simply been stuck at the beginning of his throat.

Lucy raises her head.

"Do not."

Its softness shakes you.

"It's a stray dog ​​that I take care of behind my mother ... Please don't tell him!"

"Is very..."

"Pathetic, I know."

"No." he clarifies. Lucy expands her eyes to him. "It is an honorable gesture."

Lucy's cheeks are bathed in rich lipstick when their gazes collide for a brief moment.

"Thank you very much sir."

Jungkook wrinkles his nose.

"What's that, sir? But how old are you?"

"I'm twenty-one, sir."

"For God's sake, don't call me sir reminds me of my father." Far from looking like an order, his pleasant laugh relaxes the situation.

Lucy gets caught up in the alluring sound of his voice, taking a few seconds to contemplate the hectic movement of her lips as she laughs. Jungkook intensifies his smile when he realizes it. She deflects hers drowning in a shame marked by the red of her ears.

"Call me by name, Jungkook."

"I'm so excited about decorating the banquet. I love roses, do you like roses as much as I do? I like the red of their petals it's so intense ... Oh, oh, over there!" Screaming excited when visualize from afar a wildflower stand. Catch Jungkook's doll to drag him towards the small traveling shop. There was so much fuss in the main square that you didn't notice the reverberating sound the song made of your tired sigh produced. He keeps thinking about how uncomfortable he is, he should help his father with the affairs of the town and not there, in a square choosing what would be the perfect flower for the center of his wedding table.

Two weeks had passed since that dinner, nothing had changed in his cold demeanor. Try as she might, she knew Carina was not his type. His heart did not stir when he touched it, nor did its aroma captivate him, it seemed the same as the rest of the omegas or betas in the surroundings.

"Jungkook."

Jungkook was aware of his claim hidden in a small grimace.

"Which ones do you like best?"

Carina reached out toward the flower trays.

"Do I really have to be here?" He asked, frowning roughly. Carina clenched her teeth, highlighting her jaw. Jungkook rolled his eyes at the sight of his little tantrum. Being a little nicer, I try to fix it in a quiet whisper. "I mean, I trust your taste."

Carina felt flattered, relaxing into a huge smile.

"I have to help my father. See you later."

He got out of there before Carina wanted to give him a suffocating hug. He adored them, he really missed the comforting warmth he felt when someone close hugged him, but he couldn't bear the excessive way his hands tightened around her neck.

A most peculiar brown mane drew his attention to the well-known girl who was reading in a street vendor.

He approached by an unconscious impulse that he offered to his lips with an excited smile.

“What are you doing?” He leaned down to whisper directly into the shell of her ear in greeting.

Lucy closed the book in fright. Suffering a chill from the wet friction of his lips on the skin.

When he bent his neck, he smiled.

"Are you following me, Jungkook?"

"Maybe," he joked, as he widened a mischievous smile. Lucy had to go back to the book so that she wouldn't witness the emotion of hers. Jungkook leaned over the stall ledges to steal his attention. "I came with Carina to buy some things for the wedding."

A prick-like pain seemed to hit his heart.

"It must have been exciting for you to have practically run out of the flower shop."

“Were you watching me?” She asked mockingly, exaggerating a playful smile.

"Maybe."

Jungkook was the faithful image of happiness. He couldn't stop smiling, unlike when he was with his sister, with Lucy he could bring out his personality, knowing that he would never judge him.

"Violent pleasures end in violence and have their own death triumph, in the same way that fire and gunpowder are consumed in a voracious kiss." I recite almost from memory when I look down at his book. Lucy turned her neck to him with too much surprise in her eyes. Jungkook replied with a proud grin. "Romeo and Juliet." I didn't think you were a lover of literature.

"It's the best way to get out of here getting lost in the exciting lyrics of Shakespeare," he replied, forming a small smile.

"Of all the works you have, why that one?" It is a tragedy with a very sad ending.

"An inspiring tragedy," he contradicted, frowning as he playfully punched him with the book in the stomach. "Besides representing a beautiful love story."

"Do you think such love exists?"

Jungkook raised a curious eyebrow.

"Yes, but not for me," I whisper, a cold and bleak air crowding into his tone like it's a disease. Jungkook slowly broke his beaming smile until he ended in a straight line. "My destiny is written and as traditions agree, I will end up marrying a stranger."

Lucy leaves the book inside a wooden box, the movement of her hand is so pessimistic that Jungkook lets out a sigh.

Frowning, she retrieves it. He put two fingers up to catch the grocer's attention, he came as fast as his old legs allowed. Jungkook took out a bill and placed it on top of the books.

"Keep the change."

Lucy opened her eyes in surprise.

"What are you doing?"

Jungkook offered her the book but she did not accept it. She was still holding a tense, reluctant posture toward him.

"Can't I give you a gift?"

"It is not appropriate. You are a committed man."

"With your sister."

Lucy's heart clenched.

"Still, it's not appropriate."

"Keep him."

As if he were a puppet at his whim, he managed to get the book into his arms.

"But..."

"Accept it as a sign of our friendship," he asked, Jungkook manifested his last masterpiece when he gave her a smile so charming that even Lucy was duped. "Friends make gifts, right?"

"Yes, I guess so."

He hated the pressure of the elegant shirts, he had always liked the comfort that loose and wide clothing provided much more. His mother had forced him to dress cordably on the occasion, when she had seen him in those jeans and black sweatshirt, he cursed the four winds.

As he walked down the streets of the town, the lanterns guided him with a charming light. The air that night was cool and comforting, and yet he would be locked in a house dining with his future wife. Jungkook sighed tired, really, he had been visiting that house too many times a week, he saw Carina almost every day. The only amusement that made this bustle more enjoyable was the pleasant company of Lucy. That little beta that made him smile every time they spoke. An impatient sigh came from his lips without realizing it.

Would it also be today?

"Ahead."

Mrs. Trivi opened the door for him with a smile.

Jungkook was looking resignedly at the table set in the living room when a delicious smell led him to the kitchen.

"Mmm ... that smells good."

He smiled like a little boy when he saw a chocolate cake in the middle of the table.

"Get your filthy hands away from my chocolate cake!" Cried an uncompromising voice that he had instantly recognized.

"Just a bit." Fawning smiled as he stretched out one of his hands but Lucy slapped him.

"Not!"

Immediately they both laughed as Lucy tenderly took her hand to analyze the red mark. There was a time when the laughter stopped and his eyes couldn't be more attracted. They fell into comfortable silence as they analyzed his detailed pupils. Jungkook cocked a small smile as his heart began to crash against his chest. Lucy looked away in intimidation, her dark eyes too deep. I swear for a moment to hear the heart fluttering in Lucy's chest, her scent so close it was starting to cause terrible side effects. He felt a shiver as his fingers left her wrist in need of the desire for her soft touch. Lucy swallowed to calm the dryness in her throat, her lips taking control of her mouth to smile unconsciously. He knew he kept staring at her and he inexplicably liked that. 

Jungkook found himself half a step away when the door slammed shut.

"Jungkook wasn't expecting you so soon. I've missed you ..."

Lucy was brutally pushed aside when Carina hugged Jungkook.

"Are you going to stay for dinner?" A totally ironic question to his sister.

Lucy smiles falsely.

"If you talk to me like that, yes."

"Stupid ..."

"Actually, I'm only here to pick up some of your father's papers." Jungkook's clever intervention gives him the perfect excuse to refrain from that absurd evening. Carina ironically raises her eyebrows while transforming a forced smile.

"Oh! In that case come, I'll take you to his office."

Lucy mocks her sister's back, imitating her gait, and Jungkook laughs softly when he turns to say goodbye.

The sun was shining bright that morning but the desire to get lost in the pages of a book had really won the battle. Her father's office was an intimate and private place where he used to spend most of the day. Besides, she preferred to shut herself up in that rustic and solitary room, than to have to endure the excited screams of her sister for the few days that remained for her wedding.

He was turning the pages of the book too lazily. He didn't know what was going on inside her but for a while he had been in rather poor humor. He no longer wanted to smile, he rarely laughed at his father's jokes when there had been from the first syllable before. He made cheap excuses, whether it was because the summer was ending or because his parents no longer paid as much attention to him. Deep down, he knew what the real reason for his emotional downturn was. Jungkook was going to marry his sister's monster.

The problem was not commitment (or at least that's what he wanted to think) Jungkook was a very attractive young man, it was more than clear that he would not stay single all his life, but the fact that he went with his sister definitely put him in a very bad mood . She was capricious and did not agree with her friend's kind attitude. So sweet and chivalrous, he couldn't deny how good he felt when sporadic moments passed. Her chest heaved uneasily and her lips couldn't stop smiling.

He shook his head to scare away the strange thoughts and concentrated his attention on finishing Cervantes' great work. When finishing with the last page, he got up from the chair and walked to the shelf, with the bad luck that when he wanted to return it to its place of origin, the height played a trick on him.

“Do you need help?” A velvety voice vibrated behind her. Jungkook leaned his shoulder against the mark of the door as he contemplated the amusing scene of seeing her on tiptoe and with her tongue sticking out.

"What?"

Lucy landed on the ground momentarily stunned by his appearance. Swallow, overwhelmed by its natural beauty. He had never felt the need to focus on the bodies of the other betas, and yet his eyes wandered alone on an involuntary tour of her majestic legs in tandem with his strong arms clenched as they crossed. Coming out of her hypnosis, she blinked nervously as she turned back to the bookshelf and managed to cover her blush. What happened to him? It looked like a beta controlled by her impulses.

"Oh! No, I can alone," rejecting her help with a self-sufficient air. He stood on tiptoe again, stretching his arm as far as he could to strain the book into the empty space. She lowered to the ground tired and snorted closing her eyes. "Okay. Can you ..."

A hand runs over her shoulder, catching the book and setting it in place. His hard pecs collide unintentionally against his back as his body leans forward to reach the high shelf. Feel an intense stomach cramp when you shrink at the compact sensation. She seems so moved by the pleasant sensation of his body heat that her neck turns to increase the vision of her strong arm backing up.

"Thanks ..." he whispers.

"I had brought you a book."

Jungkook's voice sounds more stable than it actually was, his mind had played a bad thought on him. He didn't want to get away from her. She had felt such a pleasant sensation when she had accidentally brushed against his body. Forcing himself to stay away from its delicious smell he takes two steps back to walk away.

"You didn't have to with the book the other day ...”

Lucy turns around when she is sure that the redness on her cheeks has completely left her skin but then, Jungkook takes out a book from his cloth bag.

"Oh, my mother, my mother!" I do not believe you. I've been looking for this book every time Mel put the job but always told me she didn't have it.

He snatches the book from her with too exciting speed when he recognizes the book.

“Since when do you like witchcraft, Jungkook?” He hums mockingly as he glides his fingers across the uneven surface of the cover, in a hypnotized smile.

"If you don't want it ..."

“Yes, yes!” She hugs the book, afraid she will take it away.

Jungkook laughs softly.

Lucy takes the book off to look at it, jumps with excitement as she squeals like a little girl. She doesn't know when she has dared to run to his body to hug him, but when she is aware of what she has done and tries to separate herself, Jungkook is wrapping an arm around her waist to pull her closer. Suddenly, Lucy hides a smile sinking into her chest. Its honey scent is so comfortable, it inspires enjoying its natural perfume, it takes a step closer to make a better hole in its arms. Jungkook gasps, tilts his head to bury his nose in her neck and bask in her softness, his fingers lightly touching the skin behind her ear. Her small caress makes Lucy stir at the sensation. With an innate craving he clenches his wool sweater in a fist, Jungkook gently caresses the strip of fur again. Smile when you feel the trembling of your body stuck.

"Shall I interrupt?"

Lucy separates agitated when she hears her sister's irritated voice.

"Thank you, really, thank you."

His stuttering is covered by the sound of his hurried footsteps. He runs away from there with his face burning, hoping that Jungkook hasn't seen the shame on his face, but both he and Carina have witnessed his little blush. Jungkook smiles unconsciously, caring little that his behavior was being observed by the other woman.

"Carina, you are beautiful."

Flaunting her majestic dress she waves her hand proudly. His other hand is in a friendly greeting with Jungkook's mother.

"Thank you very much, Mrs. Jeon."

"Nothing formal, after all, we will be family soon." Her confidence makes Carina smile with greatness. Completely ignoring his parents and his bored sister. — I can't believe my son is getting married in a week.

Lucy purses her lips, tries to act normally but cannot.

Carina widens her smile when she notices her sidelong disgust.

"Neither do I ... I'm so nervous."

Jungkook's mother turns to a circle of men who speak animatedly.

"Jungkook, son, your fiancee just arrived!"

Jungkook slammed his glass down, placed it on top of the waiter's tray, then loosened the knot in his tie. Really, he had infiltrated the older wolves to hide, had had to put up with old stories of when the pack was a third of what it was now, but it was worth it to get away even for a few minutes.

An old man she had been talking to slaps him on the shoulder for support. He sighs and turns to his mother. He tries to process a charming smile on his girlfriend but is only capable of grimacing.

"These..."

He shuts up.

He sees Lucy a few meters behind, clad in a short but really delicate dress. Jungkook couldn't contain the bubbles of emotion growing inside her, she really was beautiful. The white color suited him wonderfully highlighting his pretty eyes that did not hesitate to observe him.

"Precious..."

"Thanks," Carina responds, taking a quick look at her mother.

"What a boring party." Is this what they call music? ”Her friend scoffed as she played with the liquid in her glass. Lucy shrugged, then finished her third drink. When he threatens to leave her on the small table behind him, Ginger grabs her shoulders to stop her. "Don't turn around."

"What happens?"

Lucy frowns in concern.

"Would you believe me if I told you that your sister's fiancé did not take his eyes off you?"

"Of course not." He chokes on the alcohol when he swallows. You cough when you notice how the drink is going the wrong way. — You should stop drinking because alcohol makes you see things that are not.

"Yeah right."

Red-brushed nails are embedded around his arm.

“May I have a second, I want to talk to my sister?” She demands, lashing out in an unkind tug until she pulls her out of prying eyes.

"Ouch! What are you doing?" Lucy moans in a confused howl from the strangely aggressive pressure that travels through her fingers.

"You've been taunting Jungkook all night."

"You're sick in the head," she clarifies, denying herself absorbed in an incredulous expression, sucking her lips inward to contain herself. She decides to ignore him and walk back to the living room, however, her sister's hand returns her to her place.

"I warn you, stop bothering my fiancé."

"Your ego has gone to your head and your understanding is clouded." Jungkook is my friend, nothing more.

"You're right," he spits bitterly. She smiles, she wears an evil grimace that only anticipates what will come next. —Really, I don't know why I bother if it's clear that she would never notice someone like you.

"Like me?"

"Yes." He tightens his smile, emphasizing a wicked look. "In an immature and horrendous brat who doesn't have two fingers on her forehead, you're not even pretty."

Sigh, release his breath directly to her face to unbalance her. Lucy frowns in pain at her sister's hurtful words. He had always been cruel, he had never lacked time to mess with his appearance, but this time it was different, he sensed it in the way he acted. He had pulled out his claws to defend his position as if he felt Lucy was a threat when he had just told her otherwise.

"You're worth nothing."

He moved closer to her ear so that his whisper would take on a dramatic tone. She emphasized the last word to make it stand out from the rest. Lucy swallowed nervously, a swirl of anguish crouching inside her stomach from the lack of delicacy. She knew that she shouldn't listen to her, she was just a hurt woman for some reason that she couldn't explain. But it was the derogatory tone and the way his eyes killed her in anger. She didn't know that it hurt more, if her sister's slurs or the fact that deep down she knew she was right. I never considered myself a good specimen, haughty and pushy. No beta approached her if it weren't for sweet reasons. She always walked alone waiting for someone to surprise her, but that never happened, it only existed in her head.

Until now.

"Lucy." An oddly low voice sounded behind him. Startling her by sudden interruption of her thoughts. She turns around and twitches a weary sigh.

"Tony, I'm not in the mood. Go, please."

"We need to talk."

Lucy inevitably stared out the window, seeing her sister hanging on Jungkook's arm. She was smiling as she bragged about something she couldn't hear from a distance. As if struck by a current, Jungkook squinted into the darkness of the porch, but there was no one there anymore. Her desire to get out of there was greatly increased by accepting that Tony will guide her down the dark steps at the back of the house.

“Haven't we gotten too far away?” He asks, not stopping to observe everything that had a little moonlight reflected on its surface. It had been a while since they had started on this walk, Tony had been silent and certainly, Lucy was beginning to wonder if accepting his offer had really been a good idea.

"It's so they won't listen to us."

"I think that's enough, I don't even know where we are."

She stopped abruptly causing Tony to turn and look at her strangely.

"Lucy, forgive me."

—Tony, we've already talked about this, you aspire to things that I don't. We don't have the same goals, the same dreams. We were always different, now I realize how wrong I was to accept that this happened.

"But what are you saying?" You love Me.

"No, Tony. I liked you but I never loved you. "I confess, the words had been previously selected in his head so as not to reject him too abruptly, but the fatigue was cleverly perceived between his tired grimace and lowered shoulders." Sorry, "I sigh. Taking steps carefully so as not to trip over the dark stones.

His hand tied to her arm holding her back.

"We need to talk," I pronounce slowly with a bright threat in his eyes.

"We've said enough," he said, shivering from the nerves that covered his vision. He shook his arm but he just cocked his fingers more. "Tony, let go of me I have to go back."

"You love me," he repeated in a desperate air. Lucy widened her eyes in fright as she took painfully slow steps toward him. "I'm going to show you how much I love you."

He yanked her onto the nearest log just to adjust to her body as soon as he had the chance. Her nose inspired his perfumed scent eagerly as she trembled paralyzed. His nails embedded in the rough wood with a disturbed look. He began to deliver small kisses to the bottom of her jaw, sticking out his sticky tongue to lick a strip of her syrupy neck. Lucy shrugged her head in response, feeling the real fear when his hands clenched her and she felt his hard erection on her thigh.

"My precious beta ..." her breath falling into the shell of her ear before she licked it with emphasis. Lucy patted her chest desperately, attacking with her hands in an absurd attempt to pull him away.

“Stop!” I yell, sick and scared. Holding back an anguished sob at the top of her throat. All she did was get Tony to growl and hold her tighter in his lumberjack arms.

"Don't scream, no one is going to listen to you, we're in the middle of nowhere. Don't make this more difficult, Lucy."

He hit his body again this time making it at least a few inches apart. He sank his body into the crisp wood of the tree groaning in pain as he felt loose strands dig into his back.

"Let me go, I promise I won't tell anyone," I plead, opening my teary eyes so that he will change his mind, that being his breaking point.

"Damn it, I just want to convey to you how much I love you so hard it is to understand!" If you don't want to understand it the good way then the bad way it will be… ”A hand went up to wrap the column of his neck and thus keep his face free for him. He smiled, pulling his teeth out in a sharp smile. Lucy kicked when she buried her mouth in his neck, she knew what she would do when she felt the fangs in her neck.

"No ..." she sobbed.

A furious roar echoed through every space in the forest. So furious and scandalous that Tony caught a glance before falling to the ground pushed by strong arms. Lucy slid down the tree, killing her bent legs. Her hand covered her neck still feeling the edge of her fangs.

Another furious roar.

Lucy tore her gaze from the dried leaves to find a scene too terrifying. Jungkook hitting with all his fury the face buried in the earth of Tony. Flipping him violently with each punch. Fixing a bloodshot gaze, pulling out the fangs at each lunge. He tried to get up but his knee failed, he had to lean on the trunk not to collapse.

"Jungkook," I whisper weak. Not abandoning that fear that I still felt. Jungkook looked up from Tony's badly injured body to look at her with concern. His eyes darting to the hand covering his neck. He got up as fast as he could and approached her too nervously.

"Are you okay? Has that motherfucker done anything to you?" He growled, the vein in his neck sticking out at every word. His breathing hitched at his chest but he didn't seem to mind. With too much tenderness he uncovered his neck to see two red marks but without going deep. He sighed, feeling relieved and selfishly good. Lucy welled up tears at his pitiful gaze. She buried her head in his chest to calm her sobs. Jungkook stroked her head slowly. "Don't worry, I'm not leaving you alone."

"Where could it be?" Has he come home? ”Her father asked in an anguished tone as he wandered around the empty room.

"Lucy would never leave without telling us." Her worried mother assured her to try to calm her husband's uncomfortable hustle a little.

Carina rolls her eyes.

"Please, you're putting on too much of a drama, he's always sneaked out of ..."

Jungkook's mother's outrageous heels stormed in.

Behind her husband walks with a long face.

“Have you seen Jungkook?” Her mother added in a panic attack. It was not common for her son to leave the party in the middle of a conversation. She had been worried since she saw him leave in a hurry.

The glass opening was what twitched the nerves of everyone present. Immediately everyone turned in alarm to find a Jungkook with his shirt stained with mud. His mother covered her amazed mouth when the poor and trembling Lucy appeared behind him with her tousled dress and red neck. But undoubtedly, what caught the most attention was the boy that Jungkook so skillfully dragged by his mother's velvet carpet.

"Lucy! OMG, what happened?"

Her mother ran to wrap her daughter in her arms, who soon began to cry when she felt the heat of the home again.

"This jerk has tried to take her into the woods," Jungkook roared into the air. Wrinkling her nose when the memory of him trying to mark her came magically to knock her good pose down. He released his shirt causing it to drop straight to the floor, the drool hanging and his mouth bloody as he lay dying on the fluffy carpet.

"He?"

Her mother grabbed her shoulders to inspect the mark on her neck.

"No." I assure, licking my lips so I can speak. "Jungkook was on time, Mom."

The woman sighed in relief.

"Thank heaven."

"That happens to you for being anybody," her sister accused in a too despicable tone. Her father turned shocked to his daughter.

"Carina, please, that comment is too much!"

"Tomorrow everyone will know what happened tonight." He pointed coldly at his sister as if it wouldn't affect him. His mother immediately looked at Jungkook's mother, who looked down at the dying individual in her living room.

"I'll try not to talk about it much, but you know what the rumors are like."

"No one will want to marry her," Carina commented in a low whisper that did nothing more than hide her inner joy.

"I will do it."

Everyone watched Jungkook's jaw drop. Everyone except Lucy who had frozen in her mother's arms, sticking her head out to look at him too shocked.

"It is a solution," he commented to his father in an attempt to convince him. Mr. Jeon seemed to think about it as he placed a finger on his chin and turned to seek his wife's approval.

"But are you listening to each other?" What kind of mental dementia makes you think it's a good idea? Do not!

“Carina!” Her mother said in a dominant cry. The girl opened her mouth as she exhaled fire from anger. Heading towards Jungkook so that he could convey his agony.

"It's her problem she has gotten into." I understand that you want to help her but there are many ways.

"It is my decision, father."

Sitting with her hands on her knees as she watched her mother's reflection travel across the room.Combed with a tousled braid that ran down the right side of her shoulder. Looking back into that mirror, she thought that perhaps this would be the last time she could feel the warm relaxation of her space. She tried not to cry so as not to ruin the makeup so exquisite that her mother had taken the time to do it.

He couldn't find the exact words to describe how he felt. Nerves had indeed taken the form of lingering chills. He always assured his crazy and dreamy person that the day they would take his hand would be the happiest of his life, and yet he kept thinking that this situation had been forced.

"Here it is, it was from your great-grandmother, then it happened to your grandmother and then to me. Now it's your turn to take it."

"Why are you crying, Mom?" I whisper in a small smile when she saw slight drops caress her cheeks.

"It's not every day my girl gets married," I croon melancholy as I hooked a loose lock with the blue clasp. I sigh, stroking her daughter's bare shoulders. "We should have had this talk later but the situation has been a bit rushed."

“About what?” She scowled her outlined eyebrows.

"About the rules in marriage, my love."

"Mom..."

"You know what will happen tonight, Jungkook will take you and be his wife. You must have puppies, all you can and ..."

"Mom, I don't want to talk about this. Can you please go away?"

"I know it's difficult, at first it takes a little getting used to but I'm sure my girl will do very well. Jungkook is a great man who has done us a great favor, keep that in mind."

I kiss her forehead lovingly before leaving her thoughtful in the mirror.

Everything happened so fast, in less than a blink he found himself closing his eyes to the roar of applause from the guests. Stop in the middle of an altar full of precious flowers. Being the center of attention and the reason for the excited whistles.

"You may kiss the bride."

Lucy gulped when the priest's words broke through all the screaming. His eyes ceased to outline the flowers in a nervous air. The seat next to him shifted back, implying that Jungkook had risen. Lucy took the fabric of her skirt and tightened it anxiously before getting up. Raising her chin little by little in a situation that seemed more eternal than the cycle of the earth. Connecting their eyes for the first time since they had made the pact in that stone seat. Jungkook sighed when he noticed how his bright pupils faded as the agony continued to rage. Guilt gnaws at him like a disease that destroys everything in his path.

He moved just a little closer to receive her rejection in a fearful gasp. So, banishing the desire he had to caress that fleshy mouth with his lips, he decided to bring a kiss to his forehead and walk away as soon as possible. Lucy, who had closed her eyes not to witness out of embarrassment, opened them in surprise to find a Jungkook further away than she ever walked to the garden with the guests.

He had hardly had a bite of the wonderful cake that Mrs. Jeon had prepared. The food had danced with her fork the short time dinner had lasted. The dance was more awkward than I imagined. Everyone exhaling tender sighs while the couple glowed in the middle of the garden. Envious women who wanted to take their place, themselves as men who longed to feel what Jungkook's hands touched as she delicately adjusted herself on the bare area of ​​his back. They were both tense.

I kept thinking about what would come next, there was less left for the evening to end and the guests to leave. With the end of each song his greatest fear was approaching, he should spend the night with Jungkook.

A couple of Jungkook's cousins ​​dragged her away to talk about marriage issues. However, Lucy was absent and lost in a sea suffocated by a storm of nerves. Himself, when they gave more than two in the morning, one of the cousins ​​took her with complicit laughter to her room. He left her alone saying goodbye with a wink that he did not see as he fell into bed.

Very soon, the door opened in a scandalous screech, standing firm with her back stretched up as she turned to see her husband. He was shocked when he saw how shabby he looked, his tie untied and his vest buttons undone with a shirt half out.

"I'll sleep in the room at the end of the hall to let you rest." A hoarse voice accompanied by an unstable babble. Lucy raised her eyebrows when she could smell alcohol filling the room. Looking more closely at his appearance, he noticed how the red cheeks and lost eyes gave rise to the thought that the stains on his pants had not been water. He looked really tired as he leaned his back against the door to stand upright.

"But this is your room," she whispered persuasively. Jungkook waved his hand away as he crawled over to his dresser to grab his nightwear.

"Never mind."

Puzzled by his sudden stability, she was left with the word in her mouth when Jungkook closed the door two seconds later.

Two weeks later.

Like every waking up in the last days, there was a part of her that wanted to continue sleeping, to sink her head into that fluffy pillow and forget about her problems. But ignoring them wasn't the best option, still, he spent as much time as he could in the isolated room that had been on his property for a couple of days.

After the wedding night a cold air had crept in between them, Jungkook hardly spoke a word that was not strictly necessary, whether it was a good morning or a goodbye. When she left the room, he seemed to notice her presence and go to the garden with some excuse without any reliable argument. He would be lying if he said that this contempt did not hurt him in the deepest, ignoring her had become his favorite activity.

So, she was pleasantly surprised when she went down to breakfast to see two cups on the table.

"Good morning." He nodded as he walked past him so he could sit down.

"Good morning." Unlike her shyness, Jungkook seemed much more awake and with an overwhelming air that made that distressed sensation ease somewhat.

Lucy picked up her fork and began to eat silently with overly careful bites as she noticed a gaze piercing her from the other end.

"When you finish breakfast I want to teach you one thing."

True to his word, after devouring what was left of his plate, Jungkook rose from the table and she followed behind. He felt a swirl of emotions that he could not stop.

What she wasn't expecting was for him to lead her to a huge library that she hardly knew existed.

"It is huge," I admit in a scream that he confessed the wonderful surprise that had been. The books placed perfectly on the bookshelves almost perfectly, you could tell that it was an important place for Jungkook since the brightness of his eyes gleamed menacingly.

"It is entirely yours." Feel free to pick up any book you want, although we can always go to town to buy more.

"With the ones here, I think that's enough." My God! ”I shout excitedly when I visualize a golden cover more than familiar among so much wood. She raised an eyebrow, opening her mouth surprised to find that type of book, there. “Do you have the story of Little Red Riding Hood and the wolf?” She furrowed her eyebrows in a grimace accompanied by a small smile. It was so striking that he had a children's tale among great classics that he could hardly see that Jungkook's cheeks had camouflaged a soft red.

"It was my favorite when I was little, I didn't fall asleep unless my mother read it to me at least twice." He confessed, exhaling those childhood memories. He smiled, imagining the situation of a little Jungkook between blankets as he begged his mother to start his reading. Although it died down in the same way that a feeling of remorse arose, he no longer spent time with his parents, least of all with his mother.

"You should have given him war ..."

Her velvety voice led him back to reality. Her smile just appeared when I watched from afar as Lucy's small feet leaned to reach the book. A feeling of tenderness similar to that of the other time caused him to walk to offer his help.

"Wait, I will ..."

But Lucy had already managed to catch him and they collided almost unintentionally when she got down and he lunged forward. Her back pressed to his chest harder than last time, feeling the hot breath falling into her ear, making her goose bumps. He swallowed and turned around, leaning on the shelf. Her fingers gripped the book with maddening anxiety as she realized how close they were so painful between them. Jungkook had a hand on the shelf next to her head for support, aware or not, that he was cornering her. Jungkook raised his hand in a delicate caress to her chin to get a better view of her clear eyes. The arm she had supported was closing the distance at too slow a speed, torturing her with the prospect of her dilated irises. His dark gaze kept her in place, almost instinctively or because she was amazed by that intense gaze. Her lips parted as he brought his thumb up to stroke her chin in small circles. Lucy closed her eyes to heighten the sense of pleasure, barely aware that Jungkook was approaching tortuously slow steps toward a single destination. She lifted her head a little to give him better access when she felt the brush of his nose on hers followed by a small contact with the soft skin of her approaching lips.

"Mister Jungkook your guest has just arrived." The voice of one of the house servants caused Jungkook to walk away immediately and Lucy to hide her face placing the book on her warm face.

“What guest?” I snort, trying to sound as kind as possible being aware that I had interrupted. The elderly man left the library without answering. Jungkook rubs his palm over his face to calm down and not kill whoever has come to his house without warning. Something told him that his parents' absence had something to do with the surprise guest. I glance at Lucy apologetically which the girl received with an embarrassed nod.

Through the hallway upstairs, he could already smell a peculiar perfume. The citrus smell was unmistakable, I just hope it was a mistake and that it really wasn't who I felt.

Unfortunately, going down the stairs to his huge mansion, he realized that his sense of smell had not fooled him.

"Cousin Kook but how long without seeing you!" Have you put on weight? ”Burlon, with the biggest and most false smile he could show as he followed his steps up the stairs. Jungkook snorted more than annoyed as he glared at his father, who kept a serious expression next to his wife.

“What is he doing here?” He didn't hide his anger in an ironic tone like his cousin did.

"He came on behalf of the neighboring town." I have invited you for a few days to file the sloths, please be kind.

His father's pleas caused him to sigh.

"Yes, Kook treat me like a princess." His maniacal laugh made his hair stand on end. He clenched his fists trying to control his wolf from taking over. However, another sweet smell made her look up quickly toward the stairs. "But what have we got here?" I had heard that you were married but the rumor had not reached me that your wife was such a beautiful specimen.

Lucy was halfway there when she felt the other alpha's piercing gaze from below. Her stomach clenched when she felt his eyes travel as far as he could without cutting himself. I look at Jungkook terribly self-conscious but he barely looked at him and he was already grunting at his cousin.

"Taehyung called me, did you ..." I walk in a flattering air to where she was when she finished going down the stairs to gently hold her hand and plant a kiss on the back, leaving her with a shiver. His dark eyes were similar to Jungkook's but much more mischievous. With nothing more than to compare both smiles that although they were too far away, Jungkook's toothy smile was as pleasant as the square of that flirtatious wolf.

"Lucy, please go." More than a plea, it sounded more like an overly demanding order. The vein in his neck already looked too visible, implying that his patience was running out.

"What? No, why so soon?"

Lucy looked at Jungkook for answers but only got a neutral and overly intense gaze.

"Listen to me."

"You are a curmudgeon, Cousin Kook."

"What a heady smell, shit, I had never smelled such a smell." How lucky you are to fuck, I almost become like a small wild omega when its perfume has gone up my nostrils.

"Signature." Gag. Slipping the folder with the papers into a noisy slip.

But Taehyung smiled mischievously.

"It must have been a pleasure being paired with someone so cute," he commented. I borrow a pen from the desk to capture his signature. They were just papers that agreed to the new territory deal. Delimiting their land so that there are no misunderstandings when hunting. Jungkook was deeply upset with his father's actions, he could have brought his uncle, at least he would not have to endure such high alpha airs. She didn't want him here, much less knowing that Lucy was close. He was jealous, damned jealous. Because although he trusted her, not so much in him.

"It is not your fault." Now get out of my sight.

"Oh come, we are family, there are no secrets between blood brothers. What was it like to take it? Delicious sure. What legs and what small breasts so well placed, how does your ..."

"If you talk about my female again with those words." No. ”He patted the table as he got up, a shout rumbling dominated by his primitive impulses. He had to calm down or he would end up transforming and slitting his neck. She closed her eyes, hiding her fiery red irises as she ran her tongue over her raging lip. "If you ever talk about my female again, no matter what it is, I'm going to rip your throat out with my fangs."

"Well, it hit you hard."

"Stay away from her, Taehyung." Don't force me to follow through on my threat.

"Relax, you're a little tense," the brown-haired boy lied, rising to rest his hands on his cousin's shoulders. Jungkook identified the fact as a mockery, finally roaring at Taehyung so that he would take his hands off her. Fangs coming out to impose dominance, Taehyung ended up walking away as he raised his hands to the air, hiding with an awkward smile how much his howl had stunned him.

"You better not notice your scent near her."

"Too bad my beloved uncles can't join us for this delicious dinner," Taehyung mentioned as he devoured a piece of meat with a pleasant smile. Jungkook rolled his eyes, then looked at Lucy to verify her condition. She looked awkward, too self-conscious about dining with someone she didn't know.

"Yes, eat and be quiet."

"Were you always so irascible or is it because I'm close to your female?"

Lucy, who until then had been quietly eating, raised her head to Taehyung quite surprised. Flashing nervously as she clarified in her head if what she had just said was true, or just the result of her joking nature. Jungkook had to hold back a groan to stay seated and not jump at his cousin's neck.

"Shut up and eat," he growled menacingly. Casting out your voice I recorded with as much impatience as shame. Lucy was listening to everything, and if she could perceive, just a little bit, discomfort in her. Taehyung would end up in the backyard with his head buried in the ground.

"Why are you reacting like this?" A moment ago you were yelling at me that if I approached her you would nail my fangs.

"With permission," she apologized in a too embarrassed whisper. Jungkook frowned too sadly when he saw her almost run to disappear. He squeezed the fork showing his white knuckles with a thirst for blood, specifically, that of his cousin. Giving Taehyung a voracious glance, he ran after her to try to explain.

It was a relief to him to see her climb the stairs.

"Sorry, it is martyrdom to dine with someone like him." I shouldn't have asked you to come down to dinner with us. ”He spoke too regretfully. Lucy suspended her leg and turned, holding on to the railing. She contracted when she saw true overwhelm in Jungkook's dark pupils, at least he had come looking for her.

"Yeah, it's kind of weird," I whisper. I go down the steps to shorten the distance, staying a couple higher to place his eyes on a level with his. Taehyung's inappropriate comments had made her more uncomfortable than she would like to admit, but that had not been the main reason she had decided to run away. "What she said ..." soft babble. Jungkook raised an eyebrow, his Adam's apple moving as he swallowed too hard. There was illusion in its brilliance, so much so that Jungkook was almost blind. She could feel the intensity with which her heart beat, nervous about an answer. "Is it true?"

"It is not so, I just warned him that he will not approach you. He did not mean it, well, unless he makes it clear." He ended up confessing. Lucy pursed her lips, she had avoided his question.

"Would you only do that to him if he got close to me? Why?"

He didn't know what, but his chest heaved with excitement, if he could ever know that Jungkook saw her as a female and not as the girl he had been forced to marry to keep his bond.

"You should have listened to the endless barbaric things he said about you as if he were an omega in heat." I don't want him to be near you, that's all.

"Your female said."

Jungkook straightened his back taut, his shoulders haughty from the rise of his chest in alarm. He felt anxiety in her, a need that was mortifying him. She didn't want to hurt him, because if she did, he would.

"Yeah, well, don't take it into account. Taehyung says a lot of nonsense. It's the only thing he's good at."

"I don't know why, but I have a feeling you're hiding something from me, Jungkook."

"I'm not hiding anything from you."

"Then why do you run away to the room farthest from the hallway every night?" Gripping the railing too tightly. She was agitated, annoyed by her cowardice.

"That's my business," he growled before walking out the other door.

Lucy tried to go down the steps to follow him but suddenly, her belly contracted curving her towards the railing. She moaned a little dizzy, thinking innocently that it was from eating so fast at dinner.

Drowned in her own sweat, anguished by the heat so suffocating that itchy between her legs. He opened his mouth and roared impatiently. Had a month already passed? As he could, he got out of bed almost dragging himself across the floor to get urgently to the bathroom kit. She opened the closet with so much anxiety that the products were scattered on the floor, the occasional shampoo spilling its contents. He didn't care too much, now he had more important things to take care of.

"It can't be," I sob. Her belly contracted so powerfully again that she ended up on her knees. She did not recall having been so suffocatingly hot. She felt the moisture between her thighs when I rub them out of necessity. Now he understood that rush to unite male and female when they were just beginning to be considered adults. Females were usually warm once a month when the full moon shone high in the dark sky. Also, he had known, from the many books he had read on the female body, that, as you turned years, the need for you to be taken was getting stronger. Until now, I hadn't felt the need to get fucked so badly.

I was involved in a pretty serious problem. Its heat had never passed without the inhibitirios and if it hurt now, he couldn't imagine how it would roar when midnight will come.

As best he could, he managed to hold himself up to go back to bed. With beads of sweat and red cheeks trying not to faint on the way. A delicious smell began to cloud her senses, these being much more receptive when his heat possessed her, a smell of honey, delicious honey coming from the closet. I drag my feet toward the cabinet, licking his mouth at how dry it was. When he opened its doors, his eyebrows furrowed and his mouth fell open at the overpowering scent of the hanging garment. It was his jacket and his fucking scent.

Lucy slammed the door when she felt lucidity for a second. He had to go back to bed, even if he didn't want to, he had to. He couldn't continue torturing himself with her scent because that would make his situation worse.

But it didn't last long, her belly throbbed furiously again, taking away the little sanity she'd tried to establish. Her legs couldn't be any more wet from the exhorted amount of lubrication that was expelled from her vagina. His hole closing around nothing, urgently demanding to be filled by something, by an alpha's cock.

She opened the doors like a desperate woman. When the garment ripped, its scent not only penetrated her nose, it also contracted her belly even further. Lucy, lost in that exciting scent, ripped the jacket from the hanger, breaking it into a thousand pieces. He brought the garment up to his nose and breathed in its scent.

She growled completely overpowered, controlled by her scent, she ended up running down the hall in search of him.

I needed it to ease her.

He needed me to fuck her so badly.

He wanted his fucking cock between her thighs.

"Jungkook ..." I sob at the door. Anxiously scratching at the wood when I try to open it to find it closed. Jungkook woke up suddenly as a desperately sweet scent rose up his nose roses. I gasp, looking down at the sheets. His cock throbbed in need as I heard her moan behind the door.

He got up, sweating from his hands and his mouth suddenly dry. I put her ear to the door to hear her better.

"Get away," he growled. Lucy gasped needlessly, feeling distressed at his rejection. What he didn't know is that, Jungkook was controlling himself, he was using all his self-control not to knock down the door and fuck her in the hallway, open her beautiful legs and sink his cock deep inside her until he shouted her name.

"Please ... It hurts so much." His needy little howl was too devastating. Her irises took on the reddish color of her wolf when she squeezed her thighs and her wonderful lubrication rose up her nose. He licked his lips anxiously, too overwhelmed. He put his hand on the latch. I gasp at the anticipation.

But he shook his head away from the door.

"Go back to sleep, Lucy." He growled back. "I don't want to hurt you."

Jungkook slammed his fist against the door. Why did everything have to be so unfair? Why should he have known her like this? He cursed in fury when he heard him walk down the hall. He had perceived disappointment, sadness, much pain. Damn, he didn't reject her because he didn't want her, his damn erection screamed to sink into her tight pussy, but, the feeling of guilt was still installed in his chest.

He didn't want her to think he was taking advantage of her.

Too overwhelmed by shortness of breath, she ran to the nearest balcony. His hands hit the railing in anguish as he crashed into it. He stretched his neck back, his head back, the cool air calming his anxiety a little.

"My God, I've been following your scent all over the hall." A hoarse voice appeared from behind. Scaring her too much. Turning, he encountered Taehyung's mischievous pout. She clung to the wall as much as she could when she saw the air brazenly smelling. "Are you okay puppy?" I can help you with something?

"I don't think you can help me on this," I stammer in a hoarse tone. He didn't like the threatening look with which he was running her. He watched her with lust, his intense red eyes as he approached with slow steps.

"I think so," he assured. He smiled, gleaming his tongue in one step through his fangs. "But, I'm confused." Why aren't you fucking your husband? ”She scoffed, giggling wickedly at the need on her face. Delighting in the wet sweat that stuck her nightgown to her skin. Then, in an act that couldn't scare her anymore, Taehyung seemed to hit something on his head, stopping abruptly with a too dark, mischievous glow. “It hasn't taken you, yet.

"No, he, yes ...

"Don't lie to me or burn in hell, needy puppy," I whisper too attracted by my gasp. He strode over to me to stand in front of me, lightly imposing his body. I swallowed saliva burdened by the smell of pine that began to rise up my nose. Taehyung smelled great, but it wasn't the scent he wanted. I felt too small under his piercing predatory gaze. "Damn, how could I have rejected you and more when you have your heat?"

"He has not rejected me, I am the one who has decided to go through this." I tried to face him, thanking the cold weather for helping me to reduce the suffocation a little. But, I didn't count on him also being able to take advantage of the movement of the air to better inhale my scent and to know, through my heartbeat and my fear, that he was lying.

"But how capricious is destiny and what a beautiful coincidence. My parents are crazy because I do not commit myself, it is not my fault that the betas of my town are not pleasant to me. Like ... like you."

"You should listen to Jungkook and go back to bed."

I tried to get under his arm but he immediately got in the way.

"Oh! Wasn't it you who had decided not to relieve yourself?"

"I have to go," she sobs. This was getting out of hand, he could perfectly feel the need in his eyes, in the evil play of his tongue on his fangs.

"Don't go, going through the heat without a male is very hard." I can help you, let me ease you ...

"I'm already taken ..."

As I pulled my face away from his hand when I tried to stroke my cheek, I became hysterical. My heaving chest being stopped by his. I was very close, I wanted to go. Damn, I should have stayed in bed.

"Trickster pup, I can smell how needy you are from here." Just let me ...

"I warned you not to go near her." A deafening roar came from the balcony entrance. Taehyung stopped cornering me by turning abruptly. I shrugged my stomach full of fear. Jungkook roared furiously at his cousin, he was really afraid that in one of these he would jump against him and kill him. His gaze was so threatening, red irises, his chest heaving as he blew air out of his mouth.

"I have only offered my help." I was greatly surprised when I perceived fear in his tone, Taehyung seemed terribly terrified by the way he looked at his white knuckles.

"I'm going to slit your throat so deep that your pathetic alpha blood stained my mother's carpet," he roared. She screamed in fright when in overly striding strides, she approached Taehyung and lifted him up into the air before slamming his back against the wall. The chestnut groaned disoriented, coughing as Jungkook began to squeeze his neck.

"Jungkook ..." I sob scared to see him lose control like that. The muscles in his back tensed, then he dropped Taehyung's body to the ground, letting him cough from lack of oxygen.

"I told you to go back to your room, Lucy!" Damn it! ”He turned to her with all the rage in the world. Lucy cringed against the wall when she saw him approach.

"It's not even my room!" All this would not have happened if instead of marrying me you had married my sister! ”She cried. He ran away with tears clouding his sight. She couldn't take it anymore, she couldn't take her rejection, her screams anymore. She urgently needed to sink her head into her pillow and cry until she ran out of water on her body. She never imagined that she could yell at him like that, look at him with such contempt.

She entered the room slamming the door. She didn't care that Jungkook's parents heard her in her little tantrum. He ran to the bed and sat down as he placed his hand on his chest.

The door opened, then slammed shut more loudly than hers.

"Get up, let's talk," he demanded. Standing in front of the bed with his arms crossed. He was too irritated, he needed to control himself but that would require a time he didn't have.

"I don't want to talk to you," she denied as she drove her tear-stained gaze to the bed. She didn't want to look at him, she felt so humiliated and despised.

“You are an unconscious, how could it occur to you to wander around the house knowing that there is another male nearby that can smell you?” He growled, moving his arms from side to side, losing control. Thinking of everything that could have happened if he hadn't arrived on time, of the consequences that would have ruined everything. The moment an alpha marks you, you lose any chance of belonging to another male. The beta bite was easy to replace. But Taehyung was an alpha, if he had marked his precious neck, goodbye, because that would mean that his scent, his blood, his everything would belong to him. And that, that bitter feeling had him too upset. He didn't want it to belong to anyone but him, from the first time he smelled her, from the first time he saw her, he knew in the depths of his heart that this female would be for him.

"Do you mind?"

"Of course he does, you're my wife!"

“I am nothing of yours, nor have you even taken me!” His dominant roar caught him off guard. Accustomed to keeping situations under control, I let Lucy get up and push him away. Jungkook did not move, he was simply surprised by how really upset he noticed her. He felt so much disappointment, a craving so strong that it clouded his character. One more push, a heartbreaking sob, Jungkook caught his hands before he continued to hurt himself. Suddenly, all the anger, all the jealousy left her body, changing into a feeling of guilt. A terrible and distressing feeling of sadness. I hear her heart pound, her irises swell. She wasn't mad at him, she was mad at herself. That feeling ended up confusing him.

Lucy, still defeated by exhaustion, continued to stir in her arms, screaming, crying, pleading for him to leave. Jungkook ended up overpowered by his instincts, drawing her tightly to him. She was silenced by the touch of his hot breath on the sensitive skin of her upper lip. He swallowed, the alpha's fingers clenching his arm so eagerly that he would swear that tomorrow he would have bruises on his skin. I avoid eye contact, closing my eyes, tilting my head to avoid being controlled by her red irises.

"You haven't even kissed me ..." he confessed with all the pain in the world. Opening her eyes to send him a heartbreaking look, full of broken illusions. Jungkook stared at the deep detail of his yellowish irises. His fingers tightened more intensely, he could not control himself, less when the smell of his heat impacted urgently on his nose. Much less when an anxious moan emerged from her perfect lips after rubbing her thighs. Her eyelids half closed with excitement. Its brilliance startled at the bad need to be reciprocated.

Jungkook couldn't take it anymore, too much emotion, too much demure. He could no longer hold back, he had lost because he had fallen before his most primitive self. Jungkook squeezed his arm again, emitting a hoarse moan when he inhaled thoroughly. His smell. Damn it, it was dripping. It was ready for him, so that he would take it as he had wanted so much.

"Jungk ...

But he had already silenced her. He slammed her against the door to press her against his body. He grabbed her by the neck and brought her to his desperate mouth. Her lips parted wide, not caring that he was being too rough. He had been too long ignoring her wishes, now they would be more than rewarded. Lucy's eyes tightened at the addictive taste of his saliva. He groaned, letting his inner wolf take the reins, reaching up his hair to clench his hair in a fist as they eagerly ate their mouths. There was a moment when Jungkook parted his lips, causing such a flattering snap that he almost lost his identity. She, seized with excitement, ran to glue their mouths together, but Jungkook held her in place in an overly revealing growl. Lucy gasped in agitation from shortness of breath. Jungkook groaned before dominance kissing her again. Their kiss was so dirty, full of passion and accumulated lust. Out of necessity, Jungkook's hands slid down the curve of her waist until they reached her hip and clenched them eagerly. She stifled a pleading moan. He kept going down terribly slow, squeezing her bottom, making it collide with the protruding bulge that caged his pants.

"God I want to fuck you so badly." He almost drowned out his voice when he returned he felt the moisture of his crotch wet his needy erection. Lucy gasped in pain, a fear in her eyes making him stop abruptly. "Lucy, if you don't want us to ... We better stop now."

But she was too fucked up, she was still scared, but it wasn't because of the situation, or because of him, she was just panicked not to like him without clothes.

"I want to," she whispered, pulling her mischievous tooth closer to stretch her lip. Jungkook placed his open palms on his waist to bring his noses together and thus, not miss the detail of his dilated eyes.

"Fuck," I howl. Desperate, he urgently kneaded her butt making her moan. He crushed his hands on her thighs to lift her up. Her legs encircled his waist, her small body matched his so well. Jungkook didn't waste much time finishing taking her to the bed to throw her on the sheets. Her back bounced up the nightgown, revealing to her anxious eyes the sweet skin of her velvet thighs. Lucy, excited, tried to rub her thighs to calm the itch in her crotch, but Jungkook didn't let her. She crushed her hands to his skin and spread her legs too desperately. His hand went to his sweaty face, letting his fingers run in soft caresses down her neck, licking his lips at the sight so appetizing. He let his hand roam the endless ends of her collarbones, gently skirting the bone until she fell into the valley of her breasts with her nipples presenting herself enthusiastically to him. I knead one of her breasts while sighing. Lucy cried, dropping her head. Her delicious sweaty neck exposed for her mouth. I couldn't be more excited to mark it. Jungkook raised his corners to form a delightful smile, his eyes directed to the dark stain of her panties. "I can smell from here how needy you are for an alpha's cock."

"Please ..." I sob disturbed by the uncontrollable need I suffered. Her back was curved forward so as not to lose the sensation of his touch. With her legs open for him. Jungkook reached for her panties and gently squeezed her fingers. Making them wet and a little sticky. Lucy gasped, groaned, all she could emit was coming out of her half-open mouth. Her nightgown was almost ripped from her weak, dying body. Her nipples greeted him erect with excitement. On instinct, Jungkook licked his lips imagining what it would be like to have those beautiful, round and perfect breasts in his mouth. Another in his place would have lost his mind, ripped his pants off and started to fuck her, but maybe it was the time he had thought about having her so he wanted to have a little time, enjoy his body.

 He took off his shirt, revealing his majestic figure, those broad shoulders, well-marked pecs that gnashed with the desire of his mouth to try, his damn abs, and above all, that path of pubic hair that disappeared through his pants. Those who hid something much more attractive. Jungkook threw his head back leaving the sight of his wide and shiny neck as a reward for how wet the accumulated sweat had left him.

"Give me time, honey." It's been a long time since I've wanted to know the taste of your skin. ”I whisper under a persuasive tone. I put my mouth to her neck to start distributing wet kisses and small bites that did nothing but leave her wanting more. I stick my tongue out to run it inside her neck, her hot breath contrasting against the wet area leaving her completely on edge. Lucy tried to close her thighs but found Jungkook's hips. Her nipples tightened from the pressure of his chest coupled with hers. His hand hooked into her silky hair to stretch from the roots. Jungkook growled disgust bringing his mouth to hers anxiously. Lucy opened her mouth when she felt the pressure of his tongue on her lower lip. I kiss her hard, hard. The nails superficially scratched his broad back as he came down to attack her neck again, this time, much stronger. There was no more compassion, he kissed her, mojo and bit as he wanted.

Like the hand between their bodies to knead her breast urgently, she embedded her nails into his skin when her nipple cried out in pain from the pressure just exerted.

"Oh, Jungkook," she moaned uncontrollably as she felt her teeth roam over his collarbones. His bites, despite being, a little strong, there was some love in them, an affection that was represented with kisses to calm the bruises. He caressed with the surface of his lip until he reached the sensitive skin of his halo, which he wet with his tongue and introduced into his mouth. The salty taste of his skin was too addictive, he was sure, when he had the privilege of clenching his nipple with his teeth, that this game had made him a gambler. It parted, leaving a click too suggestive to slide into the other.

"Shit, from the first time I saw you I wanted to do this." I speak against his skin creating tickles. Lucy moaned as she punched the sheets when her separation was with a suction. "If your pathetic boyfriend hadn't been there, he would have ripped your clothes off and fucked you right there."

"I would have left you," I sob. Too lost in how her tongue sank slowly into her navel. Her body spasmed slightly as she felt an overly suggestive kiss on top of her panties. The pressure of his mouth had been so wonderful that I swear at that moment, that when he took that garment out and kissed her again, he couldn't live a single day without it. Jungkook let out a too hoarse laugh, his breath hitting her folds directly as one of her fingers pushed aside her panties.

"Would my bitch let me pierce her sweet kitty with my huge cock?"

Jungkook stretched his mouth with pleasure as his eyes never stopped looking at his needy gaze. Lucy swallowed nervously, anxious that her lips that brushed her tender spot would drop a little further. Jungkook licked his lips one last time before crushing a sweet kiss right in the center.

"Jungkook ..." she howled agitatedly as she felt more pressure from her sinful lips. Her tongue came to play an important role, starring in a walk between her folds leaving her with a dry throat. "God, yes! Jungkook please ..." She kept screaming ecstatically, and somehow, she loved it. His cock vibrated with enthusiasm inside her pants. She loved his pleading as he kissed her inflated clit. He brought a finger to the scene, stroking its red button so he could stick his tongue down. Lucy moaned uncontrollably with her legs too restless, Jungkook held her open with one hand while the other pressed her palm against his center, before taking the liberty of inserting a finger. His hole cutter sucked easily. A compassionate scream succumbed strongly when she felt what her first orgasm was. Her cheek was resting on the pillow with her mouth open for better breathing. Her belly rising and falling. Her legs dropping from exhaustion.

Jungkook broke up to enjoy his work. Seeing her so agitated just with his tongue made her want to tear her apart. I eagerly remove his pants to release his needy cock. Lucy's eyes widened at the noise and she looked at her. It was much larger than he had expected with the wet pink tip of his own precum. Jungkook moved his cock, stretching his skin, letting the beta's ears hear the wet snap of her masturbation. Her mouth became water but that did not remove the fear that began to help her. It was her first time, she had had an orgasm lubricating her entrance much more, however, that did not block the thoughts of how that would fit inside her little hole. She started to panic because until now she hadn't noticed the pain the first few times.

She tried to get up off the mattress too agitated but Jungkook wrapped her neck to lay her down again. Her red irises caused yellow ones to appear. Lucy began to stir from lack of oxygen while complaining in sobs. Jungkook groaned dominant, leaving her completely still. Pleasure clouded her mind again, leaving her under his control.

"Spread your legs for me, darling," I order too impatiently. Lucy spread her legs, clearing the way for her moisture to hit her nose again. With his free hand he brought the tip of his cock to his hole, letting just his touch cause impatient moans. I run the tip to lubricate with his moisture, Lucy dropped her head while panting too far. "Shit, your little wet kitten is soaking the tip of my cock. Do you want it inside you?"

"Yes," I sob. Spreading your legs wider if possible. Jungkook groaned satisfied at his submission. Her fingers closed enthusiastically in his throat.

"A lot?"

"A lot..."

   Sliding slowly so as not to harm him, finally, he introduced the first centimeters, causing both screams of pleasure. Jungkook started to get dizzy when his tight entrance pressed his walls against him.

"Shit, I won't be able to control myself, you're too close." I sob, letting out a shaky gasp. Too much pleasure was beginning to impose his impulses on his clarity. It was her first time, she really didn't want to split her in two, but it was so hard to stay steady when as he entered, inch by inch, she urgently spread her legs wider.

"Don't do it, take me however you want." You are my alpha I am at your disposal.

  She was so good that she took away what little sanity she had forced herself to keep. He placed himself faithfully on top of her, trying not to crush her completely. He slid his hand down her throat to the nape of her neck and pulled her into his desperate mouth. Their tongues were too anxious. She felt Lucy's nails adjust to her skin, her other hand stretching the strands of her disheveled hair. The kiss was cut off by her when Jungkook made his first lunge. Her head fell limp to the pillow, offering her neck without realizing it. Jungkook grabbed her hips to improve her fit. Lucy moaned again and he smiles on the skin of her chin.

"My sweet submissive puppy." He kissed her ear with a too dark tenderness. Lucy gasped as she let her lips stutter meaninglessly. Jungkook clenched his hips eagerly as he picked up a much more predatory rhythm. He ended up panting hoarsely against his ear. "Tonight I'll settle for taking you like that, spreading my legs as I sink the way I want." But the rest of the nights I want you with your ass up showing me that delicious ass.

"More, give me, more." I almost shouted. Disoriented by the cloud of pleasure that clouded her mind. Her nails leaving small furrows of reddened skin. His hands melted into her hips celebrating a devastating rhythm. It was no longer controlled, the need to make her moan was much stronger.

"Do you like how I fuck you?" I whisper agitatedly against her ear as the head of the bed hit the wall with fury. "My good bitch is going to carry my puppies."

"Yes Yes."

"Shit." He closed his eyes ecstatically. He had never felt such pleasure, it was as if all his instincts would rise to a thousand and his belly was about to explode in a wonderful way.

   Lucy gasped as the pressure returned to her lower abdomen. He brought his hands up to his neck when Jungkook lovingly assaulted his neck again. Lucy groaned in shock as she felt the sharp tips of her fangs crash against her warm skin. He didn't even know why they had appeared, Jungkook had only become aware of his presence when he tried to kiss an old ribeye.

"Take me," she gasped in overwhelming anxiety. Jungkook put his hand to his neck, turned his head to his liking, and finally sank his fangs into his flesh. Jungkook stopped his movements to prevent the wound from getting bigger. Not realizing that the orgasm overwhelmed them when she decided to drink his blood. When they were removed, two small holes were marked on his neck that would later disappear. Creating a bond for life. Lucy pressed her cheek to the fluffy surface with more than surprise. Feeling his cum dripping inside her, hitting her walls with enthusiasm as her small contractions milked him patiently. She was suddenly deeply excited.

A few minutes later, Jungkook came out of it. He lay on the bed with one arm tucked under his head. Lucy snuggled into his chest a little shy as she felt Jungkook's hand tighten on her hip to pull her closer.

"Why did you take so long?" She murmured a little self-consciously. He had just realized that he had been screaming too enthusiastically. She blushed embarrassed. Still a little dizzy, she crushed her cheek to his warm chest. His breath fell heavily against her hair, relaxing her.

"For fear of letting my impulses dominate me. I didn't want to hurt you."

"That time..."

"Yes, dammit, there was nothing I wanted in the world more than to eat your mouth and put your butt on my father's desk." But I shouldn't, we barely knew each other and I didn't want you to form a wrong image of me.

   Lucy put a hand on her chest and looked at him with her eyes open.

"And what image do you think I have of you now?"

"I don't care, because I'm going to do what I told you, Lucy." I love you every night with me.

"Do you love me?" Jungkook managed to perceive her emotion, as her heartbeat ran wild inside her chest, giving her away completely.

"I don't love you, I love you."

  They both drew a too cute smile.

"Me too, alpha."

[anystalker707]

It’s just the drugs

Requested by @that-one-sad-theater-kid​ Pairing: Gerard Way x Reader Genre: Angst Warning: Alcohol and drugs abuse Word count: 3 370 Summary: Was it really drugs that just kept you two together? It takes a while for Gerard to notice.

Feelings and demonstrations of such lost among continuous nights of touring, but it was difficult to really discern what kept you two together; exhaustion, conditions, feelings or the drugs? The nights went by as a blur that could easily be resumed in sleeping, drinking, music and drugs. It was ironical how you had started the tour with such good goals such like stop getting high or drinking so often and actually trying to be healthier, but the exhaustion that started taking over through the time was stronger. The same was shared by the other members of the band, but not at the same level.

You couldn't tell exactly when did waking up to a naked Gerard next to you started becoming something normal. After that, you were suddenly glued to him all the time; what was that? Well, who needed an answer anyways. You could find a comfort and happiness in being there like this. It was like you just established a relationship, without ever voicing it - something natural.

He would always be there. Lips pressed to yours whenever you needed and that cute giggle to cheer you up all the time. You went through the hard times together, encouraging each other - in the most different ways - before concerts and other uncountable moments. Even if you couldn't think straight for most of the time, one thing was right; you loved him.

Through it all, things started getting difficult, maybe out of hand. Was there an interview in which you were clean...? You couldn't really tell, but you remember that one time in which all you had done before it was to have a drink and that's it. Once, you got surprised with finding out the existence of an interview you didn't remember about. It happened a few times more until, seeing an specific one, you were shocked to sober up a bit and thereafter reality started to sink in.

Were you really living? Was it all about getting high then... getting high? Ray's words echoed in the back of your mind and you finally understood what he meant some weeks ago, plus the reason of the look he had on his face whenever he saw one of the other band members in a bad situation. That same look decorated your features as you observed them - Mikey was quietly sitting on the floor as leaning against the bus, probably not even in this reality anymore, while Ray tried to help him and Frank. Your heart sunk when you saw Gerard stumbling on the sidewalk and that made you freeze, thinking.

After a hard while trying, it was the first time you were really in your right mind and not thinking about getting high once again, as much as your body pleaded you for so. It was like you were finally able to see clearly after walking around in the dark with a flashlight in hand for so long, feeling an incredible relaxed sensation while some thoughts still wanted you to return to the dark - you forced yourself to continue in the light.

Anyways, it shocked you. Was that how you looked like when you were high? Your stomach churned at the scene. That was way worse than how it seemed to be, under all the chemical's effects. Noticing you could barely remember how did it feel to be in that state was terrifying. It made you never want to try any of that shit again, but you knew you'd be surrendering to your body's pleas not so long later.

The sight of Gerard falling on the sidewalk brought you back to reality and you quickly ran to his side, cupping his face. "Gee, damn, you okay?" You asked worried, not knowing if you got annoyed or more desperate at the giggle he released, slowly blinking at you. His words weren't clear, but you could understand your name among the slurs, along with some other completely unrelated words.

Furrowing your eyebrows, you shook your head to yourself and moved to help him up, deciding to get him inside the bus so you would be able to take better care of him. Once he was sitting on the couch, you had to be fast to grab a glass of water before he stood up and started walking away.

"Drink it, it'll help you." You muttered as sitting down next to him. He looked at you puzzled, furrowing his eyebrows like if trying to process what you said then opened a smile, slowly taking the glass in hands and bringing it to his lips. Certain kind of relief hit you; the corner of your lips curled up lightly as watching him, raising your hand to pull some of his dark strands from his face. After knowing the state you guys were into most of the time, now it was good knowing he had someone to take care of him.

"No!" He said suddenly, letting go of the glass away like if it was made of fire; it would've shattered on the floor if not fallen on his lap and rolled to the side, soaking his pants and the couch in the way. His sudden reaction made you retract your hand at the same time, startled. "It's fucking water!" The slurred words were still comprehensible as he said them with some difficulty, looking at you with disbelief and dilated pupils.

"Yeah?" Confusion hit you as you furrowed your eyebrows at him, shrugging while reaching for the glass before all of the liquid fell out of it. What was he expecting it to be?

A whine left his lips as he wrinkled his nose, resembling a small kid throwing a tantrum. "Where's the vodka?" His question made your heart sink again, having your expressions to unconsciously mirror the feeling. Gerard quickly grew tired of your lack of reaction and stood up. You noticed it when he was already about to open the cabinets in the search for the drink, but you were faster, grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand away, making the cabinet door slam shut.

"No! Stop! Come drink with me!" He whined again after noticing you wouldn't let go, letting the glass in the sink before you dragged him towards the bunks, with a lot of protests coming from him.

Honestly, all of that was a hell of experience to you. It was already a great shock to finally see things the way they really were, then it got more difficult with Gerard's behavior and, before you could notice, you reached a point it was impossible to determine what happened first; Gerard getting on top of you or you getting high.

In the next morning, regret hit you hard and you wanted to cry. Back to square one, to the same deplorable state of always. Was that how you really wanted to live your life? The headache wasn't really familiar to you because, normally, you'd never even give it time to happen, so every time the pain sharpened, tears stung your eyes. A muffled sob was enough to get the almost conscious Gerard's attention; he muttered something in his sleep before nuzzling further in the crook of your neck. Some kind of comfort hit you. At least he was there and you were there for him.

Later, you talked to Ray about your new choice, about how you noticed it wasn't so funny losing your senses for some determinate time then waking up with a massive headache. He was extremely happy to hear that from you and even offered help if needed, talking about how Mikey had chosen to do the same.

On the other hand, it surprised you Gerard took so long to understand it. Of course being high didn't help him remembering you had told it to him, but you hadn't really noticed that and it left you without reaction when he turned to you with that realizing expression.

"The fuck, why don't you want to do it?" Gerard narrowed his eyes at you; they widened seconds later. "You're fucking trying to stay clean! Fuck, Ray got you in this too!" He gasped, seeming angry and frustrated at the same time, momentarily forgetting to practically be forcing a bottle of vodka into your hand. "And now you're trying to do the same to me! No!" A sob escaped his lips as his eyes started showing some kind of betrayal; he quickly brought the bottle closer to his chest and sunk further in the couch. "You know it's my only escape!"

"But there are other ways to do it!" You insisted, not really knowing what to think or how to react. Weren't you trying to do something good? Why wouldn't he understand that? You cared about him, you wanted his best. Didn't him get it? Furrowing your eyebrows and trying to explain it better for him, you exhaled, reaching a hand to cup his face. "I can help you, Gee-"

"No!" He cut you off, moving away from your touch. "You're no fun anymore!" You were about to speak up, but he did it first. "I thought you understood how I felt, but no! Now you're trying to take it away from me! The only thing that makes me feel well!" His face contorted more in a betrayal that made your heart physically ache. "You're no fun anymore. You're trying to take it away from me..." He said in a shaky voice, about to cry.

As an almost automatic reaction, you reached for a hug, but there came another surprise - he didn't let you touch him. "I just want the best for you!" You choked out through all the feelings, just aching to feel his comforting warmth. "Let me help you out of this! You don't know how good it is to-"

"I don't want that help! I never asked for that help!" Gerard's eyes widened, annoyed that you weren't seeing what was obvious to him. "I liked you because you understood me and I thought you were like me!" He cried out, desperately unscrewing the vodka's bottle lid and bringing it to his lips, chugging down two long sips at once without letting you even get closer.

All of that caused a great confusion in your mind - between what was real and what you wanted to believe in. "Gerard, I fucking care about you! I'm doing this because I want you to-"

"Oh!" He cut in once again, with a realizing face much more exaggerated, mocking. His eyes were wide open and his mouth shaped an outstretched o. "You like me! Fuck, you took all the sex seriously!" At the proportion entertainment showed over his features, the hard reality crushed your heart, making your thoughts rush at the seek of another explanation for his words other than the truth.

"(Y/n)," A breathy chuckle escaped Gerard's lips, he furrowed his eyebrows. "it's all the drugs. I don't feel anything for you other than..." His eyes roamed around the room like if roaming around his mind in a seek for any excuse that would fit. "bro feelings." His eyes met yours again, seeming anxious to see you breaking under their gaze. "Do you really think we take anything serious here? Under these conditions? Frank can't even remember his own name." He snickered.

It was so casual. Casual. Your heaven casually went down at once and revealed itself worse than hell. Cool. That was so cool. To think someone would be this cold, huh? That was weird how some people could act exactly how the others thought they - or anyone else - wouldn't. Definitely amusing.

Gerard's words were successfully registered and played over and over by your mind, the whole time for two days or three. Your mind slowly managed to accept them and lock down all the feelings you had for him. It started turning easy to stay at the same room as him; your mind started treating him like part of the furniture, which wouldn't be notice until its use was needed.

If anyone asked or analyzed you, they would get to the same conclusion - psh, of course you were fine, just coming over the end of a relationship. The thing is that you knew it wasn't quite truth. They were uncountable, the times you found yourself craving not just the drugs and drinks again but also him. Only you knew it was the truth - the truth the went ignored and you wouldn't ever admit, even to yourself.

Ray, however, wasn't anyone. He had known you for long enough to know how you really were behind all this kind of shield you'd built around yourself. It bothered him more than anything because he was able to see what was happening on the other hand, what made the suffering you went through so unnecessary. He had to resist to the urge of throwing his head on the nearest wall - or maybe Gerard's - when the latter commented something about you and quickly denied the feelings.

"Can't you fucking notice?" Ray's patience had ran out; that wasn't something one could achieve easily, so Gerard was getting the prize, sitting in his place on the couch with eyes widened at witnessing the other raise his voice for the first time. "You're missing them! Waking up next to them! The way they care about you and are always around!" He threw his hands in the air, grasping at the nothing as remembering he couldn't just choke Gerard to death. "Are drugs that important to you? More than their feelings?"

Wanting the other to answer, Ray remained like this until he could cut Gerard off before the first syllabus was spoken. "You can't deny you've got feelings for them because, after they got distant from you, all you seem to do with your life is nothing! It's like if you need them to live, literally! Fucking grow up, Gerard!" Ray didn't trust himself enough to not end up hitting Gerard in the first opportunity he got, so he just walked away from the room quickly after that, not wanting to hear any other bullshit that would probably come from Gerard.

He didn't want to give up to that. No, he didn't even plan to. Still, Ray's words were stronger - they kept themselves present in the back of Gerard's mind at first, slowly taking over his thoughts until regret and guilt were eating him from the insides. It was ironical how the sadness of not having you just made him want to drink more and more - that last fact made him practically lose all the hope he had in being maybe even friends with you again.

It was like a sword went right across his heart every time your eyes ignored his form; it was so casual that he really felt invisible to you. It fucking hurt, but the worst part was knowing it was his fault. Even crying over that didn't feel right - it was like he didn't have the right of crying over something he had caused himself. You had noticed Gerard's once provoking presence turned into a fading one, but your mind was already used to ignoring him at all.

Ray's agony ended up being shared by Mikey and Frank - both had completely understood what was going on, not to mention they were trying to get better -, but neither of the three had the courage of interfering in the situation. They considered it so fragile, like if they were stepping on eggs whenever mentioning one near to the other, what was something difficult considering you were in a fucking band. Either you or Gerard would already have left the band if they weren't strong enough to pull on the strings.

That lasted until Mikey came up with an idea. Just don't say it directly, he said and Ray was quickly in charge of giving Gerard a lecture of how he needed to seek for help. Maybe not even seek for help, he just needed anyone to support him while he fixed himself. Someone that would be there for him and willing to help him under any circumstance and Gerard fucking knew who was that, as much as he wanted to ignore that.

Stubborn, but not dumb; that's the reason Gerard knew how to not ignore Ray. He trusted Ray so much that he would follow the other's words even unconsciously and he was pondering about it when finally seeing you walking through the door and entering the bus' living room area.

For once, Gerard expected you to look down at his miserable form that sat on the couch, eyeing you expectantly. It never happened. The only sound that filled the place was you pouring coffee into a cup and quickly downing the liquid, with no greetings or words exchanged. It was finally clear to Gerard how not having you in his life was - actually, that was just like admitting doing something uncomfortable for wanting to seem cool then noticing how dumb was that.

"(Y/n)..." He cried out quietly - your name felt like water in his lips after days of thirst while they sounded like a long forgotten song to your ears. Maybe you were just hallucinating, you told yourself as placing the cup in the sink, walking towards the exit until a hand grabbed your jacket's sleeve. "(Y/n)." Gerard said again, more confident this time. Nervousness hit him at once noticing he had your attention and he suddenly noted he had spent so much time worried about how to talk to you that he hadn't thought about what to tell you. "I'm sorry." Was all he could think about.

What to do? You asked yourself over and over, analyzing uncountable options in seek for a perfect one which never came. To ignore him or say something? You couldn't decide. You had hope, but you also knew you couldn't have it. Why did everything need to be so difficult?

Well, what rested for Gerard was to say the truth. That's all he had to say. "I was a fucking idiot and I'm so stupid for just noticing now that I'm fucking nothing without you. I think I was too afraid of getting attached to you or something-" He quickly interrupted himself, believing he got a bit too far. "I know that it's barely making sense, but I fucking need you to live and I'm so sorry. It's the worst thing in the world to be ignored by you and I always loved it when you played with my hair or caressed my cheek. I just fucking miss it all, I love you so much-"

The rant continued, but all your mind could process at first were those specific five words - I love you so much. You hated how it sounded so cheesy and made you seem easy, but it made you internally melt knowing he noticed the details about you. How he mentioned missing the specific way you furrowed your eyebrows when he said something stupid or the way you always pecked his cheek before you two sang Thank You For The Venom. Just having him hugging you tightly and crying on your shoulder could bring you back to reality.

He still cares. You told yourself as shakily exhaling. Honestly, you were extremely afraid. Was he saying the truth? Wasn't it, in his words, drugs again? Thinking about that almost made you back away from him, but he must have noticed your insecurity and tightened his grip around you.

"I want your help. I need you." His voice went out muffled by your shoulder as your could feel his fingers tightening around the fabric of your jacket and tears getting through it. "I-I know I'm in a worst state than I was before, but... I know you can help. Just you, just you..." The words kept being repeated by him like a mantra that would save him from an eternal doom.

You couldn't resist to that. Slowly, your arms wrapped themselves around his shaking body and you placed a light kiss to his head. "It's okay now." You whispered, quietly accepting his love and trusting him yours.

[dalekofchaos]

Ways I would improve Rise Of Skywalker

My post on how I would fix TROS

Exegol would be Moraband

They are Holocrons, not Wayfinders

The Resistance base would be Batuu, not Ajan Kloss

There would be no Death Star ruins, the final Holocron would be on Kamino

Ben would have an existential crisis after his meeting with Palpatine. The revelation that Palpatine has been manipulating him all his life, shakes him to the core. And at this moment, the force ghosts of Luke and Anakin reach him. First. Luke. Luke tells him that he kept his promise, that he’d always be there for him. Luke makes amends to his nephew. Luke finally realizes the truth, he didn't kill his fellow students and shows Ben the truth through the force. The truth that he hesitated and regretted his moment of instinct and they forgive each other. And Anakin finally appears before his grandson. Ben is in disbelief and says “....Grandfather????” Anakin finally speaks to his grandson “I never wanted you to repeat my mistakes. That pull to the light you were feeling was always me. I wanted you to be better than I was, who I could have been” and showing Ben his memories and what he had to go through. His life as a slave, meeting Padme, meeting Obi-Wan, becoming a Jedi, losing his mother, Order 66, losing Padme and being saved by Luke and finally destroying Palpatine(lol but not really). And telling Ben “Let the light in. You still have a chance, no one is ever really gone“  And as a parting gift, Anakin and Luke use the force to will Han’s spirit, and finally father and son can speak for real. Their talk remains the same, especially the “Kylo Ren is dead, my son is still alive.” line and with  the Skywalkers and Han talking through with him, Ben decides to renounce the dark side and Palpatine, but realizes it won’t be easy to leave, so Ben will play the spy.

Pryde is not with the First/Final Order. Hux is 2nd in command and is the perfect tool for Palpatine to use against Ben when he feels his turn to the light.

Senator Enric Pryde is the benefactor for The Resistance and the last surviving Senator of the New Republic. His aspirations is to bring the Republic back and plans to lead by Leia’s example as he was the only one who listened to her claims, but red tape held him back. 

Rey would have her yellow lightsaber from the beginning and it would be a Yellow Saberstaff

The tie in novels matter and The Resistance is in a giant fighting force

Knights Of Ren are Sith warriors who serve the Sith Eternal 

Rose joins Rey, Finn, and Poe

Connix would be featured more prominently  on the Black Spire/Resistance Base. We would also have it established that Poe and Connix are in a relationship. Cause Billie Lourd deserved to shine and if Poe had to have a girlfriend, at least let it be with someone he already has great chemistry with. 

FInn and Rose are together. Cute displays of affection like kissing, nicknames like “Commander Tico” “Jedi Prince” and Rose made a matching pendant for Finn to match hers to show that Finn and Rose are soulmates

During the time skip, Rey and Finn would’ve trained together and Finn would be her Padawan. Finn, like Rey would craft his own Lightsaber. A Purple Blastersaber. 

Hobbit boy would be cut from the movie entirely  

Instead of doing nothing, Chewie fights the Knights Of Ren and loses, that’s how Chewie is captured. 

Jannah is inspired by Finn’s defection and the defeat of Phasma. Jannah explains that it’s because of him they got the courage to rebel when he left and when Phasma was killed, there were small rebellions, but only Jannah’s group survived. Jannah and her people even call Finn “Phasma slayer” this inspires Finn to help Jannah start a Stormtrooper Rebellion. And Rose is there to help broadcast a signal so Finn can give a speech to incite Rebellion

Finn, Rose and Jannah are able to sneak aboard Hux’s flagship. Rose helps using her skills to help Finn to broadcast a signal to every Stormtrooper. I think it could be something like this. “My name is Finn, I was FN-2187, a Stormtrooper. Like every one of you, I was taken from a family I will never know. I was raised to do one thing… but my first battle, my friend Slip died and that death marked me and made me realize We are people and we have a choice. I wasn’t gonna kill for them. I had nothing to fight for. Until I met my friends, they gave me a name, a purpose and something worth fighting for.(cue Finn smiling at Rose) So I am here to tell you.  You have a choice. You are people. You do not have to kill for them anymore. Take back your lives and fight the people who took your lives away from you. I am giving you the one choice they never gave you and choose for yourselves. You can either storm this very room and kill us or you can take back your lives. The choice is yours.” Then we get a very emotional scene of Stormtroopers led by Finn’s last surviving Squad member, Zeroes removing his helmet and tossing it to the ground and then we see hundreds, to thousands of Stormtroopers ripping their helmets off and tossing them to the ground. Officers DEMAND they put their helmet back on and kill The Resistance scum, but they don’t. It happens. Rebellion.  Finn, Jannah and Rose have successfully led a Stormtrooper Rebellion and together burn The First Order from the inside out and Rose could say something that calls back to TLJ. “It was worth it, though. To tear them up, make ‘em hurt.” Finn would embrace Rose in a kiss and say “Now it’s worth it.”

No fake out deaths. Chewie is shown on a different transport, but C-3PO does give his life to translate the holocron(just let him translate the holocron, translating a weapon is fucking stupid) and C-3PO asks R2 “let me take one last look, at my best friend”

After interrogating Chewbacca and reading his mind which shows him his happy childhood memories with “Uncle Chewie”, Ben reveals his true allegiances to Chewie and frees him

Finn and Poe are captured and are at Kylo’s mercy and awaiting their execution. To their surprise, Kylo Ren kills the Stormtroopers and allow them to escape.  Ben tells them “I am the spy” then Poe goes “I KNEW IT!” Finn retorts “NO YOU DID NOT” Finn asks Ben why and then he telepathically tells Finn everything, Finn understands and they shake hands. 

Replace Zorri Bliss with Jacen Syndulla(played by Matt Smith), and this gives Poe a ex-boyfriend, which also cuts out that horrendous racist stereotype. Jacen is undercover for The Resistance and he helps Poe and they embrace in a kiss. Poe tells Connix “we used to date” this way we can show that Poe Dameron is Bi 

Ben tells Rey the truth of everything in his quarters. And Rey would ask Ben to prove that he's changed and together they destroy Vader's mask to symbolize his turn to the light. 

During the scene where Rey flies into the hangar. Instead of Ben asking Rey to take his hand, it’s Rey asking Ben to take her hand. With this, Hux enters the room and claps. Hux displays Snoke’s murder for all to see and displays Ben’s conversations with Rey. “Did you think The Emperor a fool Ren? Or me? You are a traitor. OPEN FIRE! and with that, every single Stormtrooper begins to open fire.  Ben then flies into the Falcon with Rey, Finn, Poe and Rose.

Together they leave for Kamino for the final Holocron together. Rey’s fight with Dark Rey still happens, while Ben fights Vader(a projection from Palpatine obviously) Leia’s death causes Ben to lose his fight and is left for dead, Rey saves Ben via force healing

Rey is still horrified by her inner darkness and that Palpatine is her grandfather, so she still goes to Ach-To. So cue the same scene between Rey and Luke, only, instead of Rey going via X-Wing, it’s Ben and Chewie in the Falcon who come to Rey 

Chewie comes to Ben’s aid for saving him earlier, for saving him and showing that Ben has a change of heart, Chewie hugs Ben and takes Ben to Moraband to save Rey. Chewie even gives him Han’s blaster. Showing that Chewie forgives Ben for Han’s death and to help him save Rey.

When Ben arrives, Rey hugs and they embrace each other. Ben parts ways with Luke. Luke would encourage Rey and Ben to heal Ben’s Crossguard Lightsaber, so with their combined powers, Ben’s Crossguard Lightsaber is healed and it is now white. Luke then tells Ben and Rey, “1000 generations of Jedi lives within you now. This is your fight.” and tells them “may the force be with you” Before leaving I could see Ben rebuilding his saber hilt and it would most likely be Grey.

Prior to landing on Moraband, Ben changes his attire. He removes his dark Kylo Ren aesthetic, for something you would associate with the son of Han Solo art by machodoodle and Phantasy Studio 

Ben asks, “how do we look?” Rey tells him “perfect” Ben will say”no, almost perfect” and Rey realizes what he means and undoes her buns and frees her hair. “Now we’re perfect” how Rey with her hair freed would look, source

Before exiting the Falcon, Ben believes this is the last time to tell Rey, so Ben would talk to Rey and tell her “I never wanted power, all I wanted was you. You were never nothing, you were everything to me and I love you Rey” Ben would hold out his hand and Rey would take it and Ben would kiss Rey. Both Ben and Rey believes this will be their last night alive, so Rey and Ben make the most of it by making love. Your standard movie sex scene, but nothing too explicit

When they land on Moraband, they are greeted by the Knights Of Ren. Rey and Ben fight the Knights Of Ren together.

Instead of space horses to land on a Star Destroyer, it’s basically the result of Finn’s message. Stormtroopers start rebelling and Finn is leading the assault. Stormtroopers vs Sith Troopers. And we’d see Finn igniting his Lightsaber to lead the charge. Just imagine how emotional it would be to have the lightsaber of a former slave to be used to lead and free other slaves. It’s an awesome battle, but it results in Hux’s defeat. Hux shares Pryde’s fate.

After Hux’s defeat, Finn senses danger. So Lando drops Finn off to save Rey and Ben

Due to Finn’s presence, Ben and Rey are fully rejuvinated.

Rey, Finn and Ben are able to kill Palpatine together(Anakin, Leia and Luke are able to empower them both to end Palpatine once and for all) however it would not end the with Rey and Ben just deflecting lightning, Palpatine would draw two red lightsabers and faces Ben and Rey in a epic lightsaber duel. It is easily the best lightsaber duel in the sequel trilogy with Williams brand new edition of Duel Of Fates playing in the background. It ends with Palpatine saying “I AM ALL THE SITH! and Finn, Ben and Rey say “we are the Skywalkers” and it finally ends with Palpatine destroyed.

Pryde and Ben sign a treaty to end the war

We’d get a scene of Ben making peace with Finn and Poe 

Also a scene of Lando and Chewie hugging their nephew

To help cement his redemption. Ben goes off on his path of atonement to right his wrongs by wiping out FO holdouts. Ben insists he has to do this on his own, but Rey will tell him “we’ll do it together” and the final scene is Rey and Ben in the Falcon, sharing a kiss before they head out to end The First Order hold outs.

Epilogue. The war is over. The First Order is no more. The New Order is established. Think Galactic Federation of Free Alliances from Legends. Lando Calrissian is the Chancellor of the New Order. Leia passed away and is entombed on her home of Chandrilla with Han. Finn leads a program to help properly help his brothers and sisters integrate back into galactic society and to help them all find their families and worlds. Poe and Finn would be the Ministers of Defense, always keeping The New Order’s Military strong and on their toes so they can prepare them for whatever threat there is to come. Finn and Rose got married and Rose leads a sanctuary for all the children and animals who have lost their families due to the war and helps take care of them, but also Rose would lead an attack on arms dealers and war profiteers who have profited off the war and suffering of the galaxy. In time, Finn and Rose would bring relief and restoration to Hays Minor and together Finn and Rose Tico would return home and have a family. Poe and Connix get married on Yavin IV. I believe that Rey and Ben would get married on Naboo, have their honeymoon on Chandrilla, then setting down on Mortis to reform the Prime Jedi and balance the Force while raising their family. Basically Rey and Ben would either gain a peaceful life on Naboo or build a New Order where both sides of the force can come together in order to achieve balance, where they can love freely and use their passions and compassion for the good of the force without suppressing their emotions and I think the best place for this new Order to take place would be on Mortis.

[fallintomyhands]

Blacked out card for @barisifandomevents !

Fake Relationship: Dreams – Asmodesgold (M) 

·        Barba gets the flu. Carisi gets more than he bargained for. A sweet, soft fic full of longing and loving care.

Wedding:  In Vino Veritas – etothepii ( E ) 

·        A bachelor party, a wedding, late nights in the office, and confusion. One of my favorite fics of Carisi figuring himself out, featuring a lot of unique but realistic situations, tenderness and heat, angst, and hopefulness. A fandom must read.

Alternate Universe: The Primitive and Sanctified – Konigsberg ( E ) 

·        Demons exist, unbeknownst to SVU… except the members counted amongst their ranks. This is one of my favorite stories of all time, and please don’t let the supernatural elements (or the fact this is sadly still a WIP) “scare” you away! The “monstrous” elements are used to perfectly capture characterization, and this is the most tender fic I’ve ever read.  Makes you want to crawl into the soft, dreamy feelings and live there forever. Please give this a shot if you haven’t already; perfection.

Crack Fic: Overstepping – rellkelltn87 (M) 

·        A raid on a real-life mad scientist goes horribly wrong, and ends with Carisi “in a family way.” I never thought I’d see an mpreg story in this fandom that could come off so believable, but this author works miracles (in a much kinder way than her characters!) Part casefic, part romance, all suspense, don’t pass this one up, you will not be disappointed!

Based on a Movie:  Do Monsters Dream? – bourgeois ( E ) 

·        Shape of Water AU in which Sonny works at an aquatic research facility and meets someone special. Takes place in a timeline where we see Carisi struggling after the Tom Cole incident, heart wrenchingly portrayed through his losses, personal and professional, and his meeting of another lonely, imprisoned soul. Beautifully written, absolutely captivating prose, wistful, heartfelt and magical.

Animals:  Yuletide by the Fireside – Juniperhoot 

·        First Christmas with a new love, and unfortunately a new, smaller paycheck. Tenderness, cozy domesticity, and the most adorable dog ever singing along to bad TV music numbers; what more could you want? If your answer was ‘thoughtful characterization’ – that’s here too!

First Date:  Everything Seems a Little Bit Sweeter – rafaelbaseball, burgeois 

·        Barba is obsessed with a YouTube chef, and enters a contest to meet him for dinner. One of the earliest fics I was obsessed with. The whole series is lovely, and the actual date is so tentative and lovely it makes my heart clench. Barba finding himself not in the age group of Sonny’s fans is painfully relatable and a stroke of genius.

Carisi Family:  A Healing Year – Adrianna_m_scovill (M) 

·        A year in the life of Barba and Carisi, in which Barba faces his insecurities and begins to heal, and to love. A fantastic story from start to finish, with top notch characterization and intense emotions, steamy sex, and everything in between. I chose this for my family fic not just because there’s a lovely holiday spent with the Carisi family, but because the fic also embodies how Carisi manages to make everyone in his life his family. Utterly captivating story from an author that always makes an emotional impact.

Soulmates:  Choose To Be With You – Robin Hood 

·        Sometimes the person who has your heart doesn’t have your soul. Great take on the soulmates trope, heartfelt, heartbreaking, mature. Insightful characterization of both characters, but especially Carisi, who faces an impossible situation, and reacts exactly how I believe the character would do.

Get Together:  Noche Sin Estrella – Lambnoire 

·        Casefic in which Barba is injured, and Carisi figures something out about himself when his protective streak becomes something more. A pretty much perfect fic; perfect characterization, strong and realistic casefic, recurring canon characters that feel true to themselves, whump that expresses the right amounts of terror without delving outside the scope of the show, and a slow burn journey of romance and self-acceptance that is meticulously paced, utterly realistic and hits every emotional mark flawlessly. Now that it’s back, make sure you don’t miss out.

Break Up:  Every Time We Touch – OblivionCastro 

·        Soulmate AU where the touch of your partner gives you pain.  A 5+1 fic, a soulmate fic, but mostly, a lyrically written story of enduring pain and enduring its loss. A wonderful metaphor for the agony of love and loss that brings me to tears every time.

Secret Relationship: Pink (& Other Promises) – leslielol 

·        Barba and Carisi fall together, and decide to keep it under wraps for a while; results vary. A common premise with uncommonly good prose. Vivid, lyrical language wraps around a soft story about affection, subterfuge, and acceptance.  A very different look at Barba and Carisi than the author’s main fic, but no less enduring and amazing.

WIP:  Much Farther To Go – nukablastr (M) 

·        The threats on Barba’s life have been declared a cold case, but Carisi decides to do some investigating on his own to protect the man he loves. This is the third part of a long series detailing the “missing” events in S17, and exploring beyond into “what could have been” if this major plot hadn’t been dropped. I added part 3 for the WIP, but recommend reading from the beginning. This story is expertly paced and plotted, and feels absolutely like it could be a piece of canon. One of the seminal works of the barisi fic fandom; read it if you haven’t.

Shadowing:  Mind if I Sit Down? – Larkin21 ( E ) 

·        Another episode tag based story from S17, featuring Carisi and Barba entering into a casual relationship behind the scenes. There’s not really many (or any!) full stories of Carisi shadowing Barba, but I was glad to be able to include this series, which features a full chapter on the shadowing episode. Again, I recommend reading the entire series, as it’s full of fantastically written plot and characterization, seamlessly weaving deep insights on the characters and blisteringly hot sex into the best seasons of the show. Another not-to-be-missed series!

Get Together:  I’m gonna leave it all out there to dry – littleblacksubmarine  ( E ) 

·        Carisi is barely keeping it together, and Barba is waiting to be allowed to help; a story of depression, self-loathing, comfort and devotion told through incredibly poignant intimate and sexual encounters. An unusual depiction of a very dark Sonny, and a protective, self-sacrificing Rafael who’s there for him every painful step of the way. Amazing story that captures perfectly some very different aspects of the characters than we typically see, and still feels 100% true. This story has broken and healed my heart so many times.

Holiday:  Pass Here and Go On – abogadobarba 

·        After the events of Undiscovered Country, Barba and Carisi reconnect, by chance, on a train of all places. Full of atmosphere, literary references, and some of the best prose in the fandom. This story is pure poetry, creating a tone of loneliness and longing, the sense of expanse and yet confinement that only travel can bring, and ultimately peacefulness and hope.  

Alternate Career Rafael: In This Light – Astronaut_Milky (M) 

·        Barba is a photographer, Carisi is a model, both men destined to keep finding… and losing, each other. Beautiful, sexy story about two men whose jobs keep bringing them together, and tearing them apart, full of light and heat and beautiful people and beautiful imagery.  

Undercover:  Have You Ever Wished For An Endless Night? – minnesotamemelord 

·        Carisi goes undercover at a high-powered legal event, and runs into someone familiar. A look at Sonny getting to go undercover at a nicer event than we normally see! Well written characterizations, and some interesting contemplations on unique issues, such as Carisi’s opinion on wealth and the wealthy that felt so spot on I immediately felt they were canon. Also, poor Rafael; he has such terrible friends!

5+1:  We Had No Haste – alwaysbuddy 

·        Carisi and Barba meet over and over in the most coincidental of places, but succumb to their own insecurities. Breathtaking story about two should-be fated lovers who continue to meet and connect over a multitude of vacations, but can’t bring themselves to reach for what they want, until they fear it may be too late. Gorgeous, atmospheric, romantic and sad, in equal measure, with an ending that’s happy, but still exudes a sense of so much lost time. This fic haunts my thoughts in the best ways.

Cooking:  Sustenance – AhumanFemale, tiberius (E ) 

·        Barba’s friends buy him a live-in chef for a time, so he can stop living on pretzels and coffee. Sweeping piece of art that exudes sensuality and the feel of time slipping through your fingers.

First Meeting:  Here and Now – wormghoul 

·        Barba and Carisi meet, and have a whirlwind romance, at LSAT camp before being parted until they meet again at SVU. The imagery and language used in this story has stuck with me for a long time. Shockingly, wrenchingly accurate descriptions of the feelings of holding memories dear, “as a talisman,” and the devastating feelings of having them torn away from you by reality… but also the hope that they can be made anew.  

Crack Fic:  It’s Not Too Late/Gag Order – cupidmarwani 

·        Carisi has a superpower, and has reached the end of his rope. Carisi has seen too much, and has the power to burn it all down. Barba wants to save him, but has to face stark reality. Short, intense story about the toll Carisi’s job takes on him, and how he becomes one of the monsters that he used to fight. Depressing, heartbreaking, terrifyingly relatable, this is an overlooked gem.

Confession:  Him. – keraunoscopia 

·        Carisi struggles with his sexuality and internalized homophobia, and seeks aid from the Church.  Quiet, powerful, painful, and so, so beautiful.

Domestic:  Daylight – cypress_tree ( E ) 

·        Carisi stays the night for the first time and Barba sees him in the sunlight. Short, sweet, hot. What’s more domestic than two people in love, unwilling to get out of bed and leave one another’s presence?

Fix It:  Good Morning – Kaye_21 (M) 

·        A threat to Barba’s life does not end well – repeatedly! Another “supernatural” style fic that shouldn’t be overlooked, even if it’s not your genre. Barba, stuck in a room with Carisi and a man out to kill them both, needs to figure out what is required of him to prevent their deaths, before he loses his mind. Fantastic character study. Terrifying, sad, sexy and hopeful. I chose this one for “fix it,” since as barisi itself could be considered a canon “fix it” or missed opportunity, and this fic itself embodies Barba himself finding a way to be that fix.

[watusichris]

You Oughta “Get Carter”

Another old Night Flight piece, tied to a Turner Classic Movies airing, about a movie I never tire of watching. (Unfortunately, the Krays film “Legend” turned out to be not so good.) ********** The English gangster movie has proven an enduring genre to this day. The 1971 picture that jumpstarted the long-lived cycle, Get Carter, Mike Hodges’ bracing, brutal tale of a mobster’s revenge, screens late Thursday on TCM as part of a day-long tribute to Michael Caine, who stars as the film’s titular anti-hero.

We won’t have to wait long for the next high-profile Brit-mob saga: October will see the premiere of Brian Helgeland’s Legend, a new feature starring Tom Hardy (Mad Max: Fury Road, The Dark Knight Rises, Locke) in a tour de force dual role as Ronnie and Reggie Kray, the legendarily murderous identical twin gangleaders who terrorized London in the ‘60s. The violent exploits of the Krays mesmerized Fleet Street’s journalists and the British populace until the brothers and most of the top members of their “firm” were arrested in 1968.

The siblings both died in prison after receiving life sentences. They’ve been the subjects of several English TV documentaries and a 1990 feature starring Martin and Gary Kemp of Spandau Ballet. However, the Krays and their seamy milieu may have had their greatest impact in fictional form, via the durable figure of Jack Carter, the creation of a shy, alcoholic graphic artist, animator, and fiction writer named Ted Lewis, the man now recognized by many as “the father of British noir.”

Born in 1940 in a Manchester suburb, Lewis was raised in the small town of Barton-upon-Humber in the dank English midlands. A sickly child, he became engrossed with art, the movies, and writing. The product of an English art school in nearby Hull, he wrote his first, unsuccessful novel, a semi-autobiographical piece of “kitchen sink” realism called All the Way Home and All the Night Through, in 1965.

He soon moved sideways into movie animation, serving as clean-up supervisor on George Dunning’s Beatles feature Yellow Submarine (1968). However, now married with a couple of children, he decided to return to writing with an eye to crafting a commercial hit, and in 1970 he published a startling, ultra-hardboiled novel titled Jack’s Return Home.

British fiction had never produced anything quite like the book’s protagonist Jack Carter. He is the enforcer for a pair of London gangsters, Gerald and Les Fletcher, who bear more than a passing resemblance to the Krays. At the outset of the book, recounted in the first person, Carter travels by train to an unnamed city in the British midlands (modeled after the city of Scunthorpe near Lewis’ hometown) to bury his brother Frank, who has died in an alleged drunk driving accident.

Carter instantly susses that his brother was murdered, and he sets about sorting out a hierarchy of low-end midlands criminals (all of whom he knew in his early days as a budding hoodlum) responsible for the crime, investigating the act with a gun in his hand and a heart filled with hate. He’s no Sam Spade or Phillip Marlowe bound by a moral code – in fact, he once bedded Frank’s wife, and is now sleeping with his boss Gerald’s spouse. He’s a sociopathic career criminal and professional killer – a “villain,” in the English term -- who will use any means at his disposal to secure his revenge.

Carter’s pursuit of rough justice for his brother, and for a despoiled niece, attracts the attention of the Fletchers, whose business relationships with the Northern mob are being disrupted by their lieutenant’s campaign of vengeance. As Carter leaves behind a trail of corpses and homes in on the last of his quarry, the hunter has become the hunted, and Jack’s Return Home climaxes with scenes of bloodletting worthy of a Jacobean tragedy, or of Grand Guignol.

Before its publication, Lewis’ grimy, violent book attracted the attention of Michael Klinger, who had produced Roman Polanski’s stunning ‘60s features Repulsion and Cul-de-Sac. Klinger acquired film rights to the novel before its publication in 1970, and sent a galley copy to Mike Hodges, then a U.K. TV director with no feature credits.

Hodges, who immediately signed on as director and screenwriter of Klinger’s feature – which was retitled Get Carter -- was not only drawn to the taut, fierce action, but also by the opportunity to peel away the veneer of propriety that still lingered in British society and culture. As he noted in his 2000 commentary for the U.S. DVD release of the film, “You cannot deny that [in England], like anywhere else, corruption is endemic.”

Casting was key to the potential box office prospects of the feature, and Klinger and Hodges’ masterstroke was securing Michael Caine to play Jack Carter. By 1970, Caine had become an international star, portraying spy novelist Len Deighton’s agent Harry Palmer in three pictures and garnering raves as the eponymous philanderer in Alfie.

Caine had himself known some hard cases in his London neighborhood; in his own DVD commentary, he says that his dead-eyed, terrifyingly reserved Carter was “an amalgam of people I grew up with – I’d known them all my life.” Hodges notes of Caine’s Carter, “There’s a ruthlessness about him, and I would have been foolish not to use it to the advantage of the film.”

Playing what he knew, Caine gave the performance of a lifetime – a study in steely cool, punctuated by sudden outbursts of unfettered fury. The actor summarizes his character on the DVD: “Here was a dastardly man coming as the savior of a lady’s honor. It’s the knight saving the damsel in distress, except this knight is not a very noble or gallant one. It’s the villain as hero.”

The supporting players were cast with equal skill. Ian Hendry, who was originally considered for the role of Carter, ultimately portrayed the hit man’s principal nemesis and target Eric Paice. Caine and Hendry’s first faceoff in the film, an economical conversation at a local racetrack, seethes with unfeigned tension and unease – Caine was wary of Hendry, whose deep alcoholism made the production a difficult one, while Hendry was jealous of the leading man’s greater success.

For Northern mob kingpin Cyril Kinnear, Hodges recruited John Osborne, then best known in Great Britain as the writer of the hugely successfully 1956 play Look Back in Anger, Laurence Olivier’s screen and stage triumph The Entertainer, and Tony Richardson’s period comedy Tom Jones, for which he won an Oscar for best adapted screenplay. Osborne, a skilled actor before he found fame as a writer, brings subdued, purring menace to the part.

Though her part was far smaller than those of such other supporting actresses as Geraldine Moffat, Rosemarie Dunham, and Dorothy White, Brit sex bomb Britt Ekland received third billing as Anna, Gerald Fletcher’s wife and Carter’s mistress. Her marquee prominence is somewhat justified by an eye-popping sequence in which she engages in a few minutes of steamy phone sex with Caine.

Some small roles were populated by real British villains. George Sewell, who plays the Fletchers’ minion Con McCarty, was a familiar of the Krays’ older brother Charlie, and introduced the elder mobster to Carry On comedy series actress Barbara Windsor, who subsequently married another member of the Kray firm. John Bindon, who appears briefly as the younger Fletcher sibling, was a hood and racketeer who later stood trial for murder; a notorious womanizer, he romanced Princess Margaret, whose clandestine relationship with Bindon later became a key plot turn in the 2008 Jason Strathan gangster vehicle The Bank Job.

Verisimilitude was everything for Hodges, who shot nearly all of the film on grimly realistic locations in Newcastle, the down-at-the-heel coal-mining town on England’s northeastern coast. The director vibrantly employs interiors of the city’s seedy pubs, rooming houses, nightclubs and betting parlors. In one inspired bit of local color, he uses an appearance by a local girl’s marching band, the Pelaw Hussars, to drolly enliven a scene in which a nude, shotgun-toting Carter backs down the Fletchers’ gunmen.

The film’s relentless action was perfectly framed by director of photography Wolfgang Suchitzky, whose experience as a cameraman for documentarian Paul Rotha is put to excellent use. Some sequences are masterfully shot with available light; the movie’s most brutal murder plays out at night by a car’s headlights. The breathtakingly staged final showdown between Carter and Paice is shot under lowering skies against the grey backdrop of a North Sea coal slag dump.

Tough, uncompromising, and utterly unprecedented in English cinema, Get Carter was a hit in the U.K. It fared poorly in the U.S., where its distributor Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer dumped it on the market as the lower half of a double bill with the Frank Sinatra Western spoof Dirty Dingus Magee. In his DVD commentary, Caine notes that it was only after Ted Turner acquired MGM’s catalog and broadcast the film on his cable networks that the movie developed a cult audience in the States.

Get Carter has received two American remakes. The first, George Armitage’s oft-risible 1972 blaxploitation adaptation Hit Man, starred Bernie Casey as Carter’s African-American counterpart Tyrone Tackett. It is notable for a spectacularly undraped appearance by Pam Grier, whose character meets a hilarious demise that is somewhat spoiled by the picture’s amusing trailer. (Casey and Keenan Ivory Wayans later lampooned the film in the 1988 blaxploitation parody I’m Gonna Git You Sucka.)

Hodges’ film was drearily Americanized and relocated to Seattle in Stephen Kay’s like-titled 2000 Sylvester Stallone vehicle. It’s a sluggish, misbegotten venture, about which the less that is said the better. Michael Caine’s presence in the cast as villain Cliff Brumby (played in the original by Brian Mosley) only serves to remind viewers that they are watching a vastly inferior rendering of a classic.

Ted Lewis wrote seven more novels after Jack’s Return Home, and returned to Jack Carter for two prequels. The first of them, Jack Carter’s Law (1970), an almost equally intense installment in which Carter ferrets out a “grass” – an informer – in the Fletchers’ organization, is a deep passage through the London underworld of the ‘60s, full of warring gangsters and venal, dishonest coppers.

The final episode in the trilogy, Jack Carter and the Mafia Pigeon (1977), was a sad swan song for British noir’s most memorable bad man. In it, Carter travels to the Mediterranean island of Majorca on a Fletchers-funded “holiday,” only to discover that he has actually been dispatched to guard a jittery American mobster hiding out at the gang’s villa. It’s a flabby, obvious, and needlessly discursive book; Lewis’ exhaustion is apparent in his desperate re-use of a plot point central to the action of the first Carter novel.

Curiously, the locale and setup of Mafia Pigeon appear to be derived from Pulp, the 1975 film that reunited director Hodges and actor Caine. In it, the actor plays a writer of sleazy paperback thrillers who travels to the Mediterranean isle of Malta to pen the memoirs of Preston Gilbert (Mickey Rooney), a Hollywood actor with gangland connections. Hilarity and mayhem ensue.

All of Lewis’ characters consume enough alcohol to put down an elephant, and Lewis himself succumbed to alcoholism in 1982, at the age of 42. Virtually unemployable, he had moved back home to Barton-upon-Humber, where lived with his parents.

He went out with a bang, however: In 1980, he published his final and finest book, the truly explosive mob thriller GBH (the British abbreviation for “grievous bodily harm”). The novel focuses on the last days of vice lord George Fowler, a sadist in the grand Krays manner, whose empire is being toppled by internal treachery. Using a unique time-shifting structure that darts back and forth between “the smoke” (London) and “the sea” (Fowler’s oceanside hideout), it reaches a finale of infernal, hallucinatory intensity.

After Lewis’ death, his work fell into obscurity, and his novels were unavailable in America for decades. Happily, Soho Press reissued the Carter trilogy in paperback in 2014 and republished GBH in hardback earlier this year. Now U.S. readers have the opportunity to read the books that influenced an entire school of English noir writers, including such Lewis disciples and venerators as Derek Raymond, David Peace, and Jake Arnott.

Echoes of GBH can be heard in The Long Good Friday, another esteemed English gangster film starring Bob Hoskins as the arrogant and impetuous chief of a collapsing London firm. Released the same year as Lewis’ last novel, the John Mackenzie-directed feature is only one of a succession of outstanding movies – The Limey, The Hit, Layer Cake, Sexy Beast, and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels among them – that owe a debt to Get Carter, the daddy of them all.

[kagami190]

“Death & Rebirth” Chapter 1

Chapter 1 - Death

Prologue

Konata, Kagami, and Tsukasa sat around a table at the Hiragi household, finding themselves restless in the summer after graduation. And as per usual, Konata had found something to rant about. What was unusual was that it wasn't anime or games or even something arbitrary - she seemed it have a genuine concern with the lack of romance during their high school years.

"The funny thing about it is," Konata said holding up one finger in a declaration, "As much as we talk about it, not one of us goes seeking out boys."

"YOU'RE the one who's talking about it," Kagami said annoyed, "I think that's personal stuff and it's rude to ask someone about it if they're uncomfortable."

"And me talking about boys and dating makes you uncomfortable?" "Yes!" Kagami said, "Why else would I have said that?!"

"Well we have been friends for a long time,". Tsukasa interjected followed by an innocent smile, "If you can't talk about things like that with girlfriends, who else would you talk about it with?"

"That's my point though, what's there to talk about?" Konata said, "No one even talks about having a crush. We're missing a core dynamic in a female social circle."

"I've just had more important things to concentrate on." Kagami said, "I was worried about my grades up until the day of graduation... Wow, can you guys believe we're done with high school?"

"I can believe that." Konata said, pausing for a beat, "What I can't believe is how a group of hotties like ourselves made it to the end of high school without so much as holding hands with someone."

"Wow," Kagami said, "You're not letting this one go, are you? "I'm just saying," Konata said.

"She does have a point," Said Tsukasa, looking sadly at the ground, "I mean, I don't think I'm ugly..."

"You're not." Kagami said, "You just have priorities as I do."

Tsukasa smiled, "Thanks, sis." She turned to Konata, "But Kona-chan you've never really cared about boys and relationships anyway. Why start now?" Tsukasa asked.

"I'm just making an observation," Konata said, "Not like it keeps me up at night." "Yeah, I'm sure your pervy dating sims satisfy your loneliness anyway." Kagami teased.

"Nah, I don't get off on it or anything. My dad might with his dating sims, but I'd rather not think about his gaming practices." Konata said, shivering a little.

"So then why play them?" Kagami asked. "It's a great social exercise," Konata said nodding.

"Right," Kagami rolled her eyes, "Social skills for the social life you don't have?"

Konata shrugged, "It beats talking to people and trying to convince them to be my friend. In the game everyone likes me."

"That's all well and good," Kagami started, "But the adult scenes?"

"Good study material for how stuff is gonna go down in college. Girls gotta be prepared to face the world of naughty coed antics."

Kagami sighed, "Riiiight. If you say so." Tsukasa gasped, "Is... THAT what happens in college?!

-1-

Konata stood at the front door of the Hiragi household, about to leave for the night.

"Bye Kona-chan! Thanks for stopping by." Tsukasa said smiling at her friend, "And thanks for letting me borrow this anime DVD. Promise I'll give it back."

"Yeah, you'd better," Konata said matter-of-factly, "I know where you live." "Real nice, creep-a-zoid." Kagami shook her head.

"You know I'm your hero." Konata winked, waving to the twins as she walked out, "Have a good one!"

"Bye!" The girls said in unison.

And with that, Konata had left for the evening.

"What'd she lend you?" Kagami asked.

"Oh, some kind of show about giant robots." Tsukasa said, taking a second to think quizzically, "For some reason, she really wanted me to watch it."

"Giant robots huh?" Kagami said, "I've seen a lot of those around in my life - which one is it?"

" I think it's called Ev******," Tsukasa said.

"Really?" Kagami said, "Sounds kinda Christian or biblical."

"Yeah, but she said it was really good and thought-provoking." Tsukasa said, "So I figured what the heck."

Kagami shrugged, "If Konata likes it, it has to be weird."

"Probably," Tsukasa said knowingly, "I won't be able to watch it tonight though - I have some college applications to fill out."

"I already sent mine off," Kagami said worriedly, "You know, you should have sent yours by now too."

Tsukasa felt a slight sweat drop of embarrassment, "Always one step ahead of me, sis."

"I'm riddled with anxiety waiting for the responses, though..." Kagami sighed. "Ya mind if I watch that anime tonight then? If you're not gonna watch it I may as well to keep myself occupied."

"Sure, sis!" Tsukasa happily handed the DVD to her sister.

"Thanks, Tsukasa." Kagami smiled, "Let me know if you need any help with those college applications."

"Kay. Night, Sis." Tsukasa said walking off. "Night," Kagami replied looking down at the anime DVD case she was holding.

It was a standard DVD case with a white piece of paper inserted where the artwork would usually be, on the spine in pen the title read, "Ev*****: Death and Rebirth."

Kagami opened the case to find a burnable, unlabeled DVD-R on the inside.

Kagami rolled her eyes. Of course, Konata would only have an illegally burned copy of a DVD. Probably purchased at some anime convention somewhere at a shady bootleg table. She briefly pondered how bootleggers got away with stuff like that at public events. It must be such a staple of Otaku culture that they just let it slide.

Kagami shrugged at her inner thought and headed for her room with the DVD.

After changing into her nightclothes, she opened the case again and marveled at how unorganized it looked. Title scribbled in the spine. Not even labeled. Only Konata.

She pressed the center button in the DVD case and with a click it released the disc, which she put in her DVD player.

The anime automatically played and opened up to a schoolyard. The camera's view panned across the front of a normal-looking high school and followed the building around to the back, in front of a group of windows. Kagami could lightly hear the sound of moans.

Moans of pleasure. Soft and breathy from a female.

"What in the..." Kagami started to herself, her entire body immediately getting extremely hot, so hot she almost broke a sweat. Her eyes stood locked on the television screen.

It was then on the screen that Kagami saw the hands of a beautiful anime girl with pink hair and small breasts pressed against one of the windows of the building. She was being pounded from behind by a strong man. A darkly handsome man, albeit in the form of an anime character. He held on to her sides and continued to penetrate the pink-haired girl. Her moans growing louder and more passionate. The man cupped her small breasts as he continued to thrust his member into her.

It was at this point that Kagami was certain this was not "Ev*****: Death and Rebirth." This was not an anime with giant robots this was explicit anime, hentai. Kagami assumed correctly that there was probably an anime with giant robots somewhere out there, but regardless, Kagami knew she wasn't watching the intended film. She grabbed her remote to lower the volume but did not stop the feature.

But she continued to watch, transfixed, now watching as the petite pink-haired girl was in a reverse cowgirl position, her small breasts bouncing up and down as the character on the screen continued to moan.

Kagami felt tingling all over her body, craving the same pleasure she could hear in the moans.

She picked up the remote beside her and turned the TV off.

Kagami couldn't believe herself. She was getting turned on, getting off to a cartoon. What the hell as the matter with her?

"I'm not going to sit here and turn into an anime perv," she whispered to herself, a light blush still apparent on her face - she could still feel the warmth her body had released.

She couldn't help but dwell on what she felt as she sat in her room in silence - the yearning. She'd never felt this way before. All thanks to Konata her first taste of sexual appetite stemmed from a perverted anime. Great.

She knew, though, that she couldn't let this moment slip away. It felt too good. She finally knew what it meant to make an irrational decision about sex. Should she watch it? Of course not... It was immoral and completely out of her character. But she wanted to watch it, to hell with everyone else. She wanted to feel pleasure, to be relieved of this bold new feeling. To feel the release, the ecstasy of what she knew to be the result. It was well worth a little bit of guilt.

Once again she picked up her remote and turned the TV.

When the screen lit up, she saw that the film had continued to play and now the same pink-haired girl lay on her back, legs spread. In between her legs was another girl, just as cute and sexy with blonde hair and a busty chest, slowly licking in between her vaginal lips.

Kagami's hand flew up to her chest, partly in surprise. When she felt her hand touch her breast she instinctively gave it a firm squeeze, a small burst of pleasure shooting through her. She let out a surprised moan. She wasn't expecting that to feel good.

She moved her hand in a circular motion, pressing down on her petite breast as she did so. She let out a small, this time pleasurable, moan, and began to unbutton her shirt.

Once she had the first few buttons undone, Kagami allowed her hand to slip underneath the shirt. She continued to fondle herself, grabbing her chest and rubbing her breast.

Kagami stopped for a split second and took two fingers and pinched her small pink nipple. "Ah..." She let out a soft sigh.

With her other hand, she slowly moved towards her waist and put her hand underneath the elastic of her pajama pants, moving past her cotton panties and feeling herself.

Kagami let out a moan so loud she had to cover her mouth with her free hand.

"It's wet..." She said to herself, smelling her sexual juices, "I'm wet."

So this was what 'wet' meant.

Keeping her hand covering her mouth she went in with her hand again, shutting her eyes firmly in anticipation.

It wasn't in vain, she moaned loudly into her hand as soon as her fingers reached under her panties. She rubbed her fingers up and down her pussy.

"Yeah..." She whispered to herself, "Oh my God..."

Her breathing became heavier as she continued to rub her young body. Looking back up at the TV, the scene with the two women was still playing, the pink-haired girl now pleasuring the blonde one with her finger. But she was concentrating on a specific part towards the top. Kagami recognized why.

Kagami had always known what her clitoris was, and what it was, but never dared to try anything.

Unlike tonight when she thought, it was anything goes.

She ran her middle finger over her clitoris for the first time and hunched over in pleasure.

"Fuck..." She heaved, slightly taken aback but not completely surprised at the use of the expletive. "Jeez..."

She took her middle finger and moved it back to her clit, this time rubbing it in a circular motion. "Oh yeah..." Her other hand covered her mouth once again as she let out a long muffled moan, "Oh, God!" She screamed again into her hand. She slowed her hand as she rubbed her clit, the ecstasy became more sensual and bold.

"Hah..." She panted, her voice raising an octave or so, her body began to tremor.

She once again sped up her finger movement massaging her clitoris. It was unlike anything she had felt yet, the soft fondling evolving to a faster more aggressive rubbing was so potent with pleasure, she felt like she was going to explode. She felt like she was going to explode.

But she kept on.

She thought for a split second that she might pee. But the feeling of ecstasy far outweighed the feeling of impending urination. Something else was about to happen and she didn't care what.

She felt her entire body tighten and fill with the nicest, the most pleasurable thing she had ever felt in her life. Her body filled with warmth. It almost felt like a magic warmth and it shot through her entire body.

Without warning her pelvis shot up into the air as her fingers continued to massage her young 18- year-old clitoris. She used her other hand to grab her right breast and massage into it as she experienced her first clitoral orgasm.

She screamed - not bothering to cover her mouth. It was loud, almost a guttural moan, followed by her soft voice letting the rest of the exasperation crawl out of her mouth, out of her petite body.

With that, she simply lay there to catch her breath, heaving and panting, not regretting a single moment. She already knew she needed more.

She looked down in between her legs to see a small puddle that her juices had left on the bed. She used two fingers to wipe over the small puddle and investigate it further. When she brought her two fingers closer to her face, they were damp and slightly dripping.

"Wow, " Kagami said to herself, "That's a lot of... Uh, stuff." There was a light tapping at her door.

"Kagami?" She heard Tsukasa's voice, "Are you okay?"

Kagami jumped, a pit in her stomach dropping like a slab of cement. She pulled the cover over her body frantically and did her best to answer her sister in a normal voice.

"Yeah," She said weakly, "I'm good."

"Can I come in?"

"NO!" Kagami said, "I mean.. No sis, I'm totally ok, besides I look horrible."

She looked again at the puddle in between her legs. Yeah, she could look pretty bad if someone walked in.

"Umm. Ok." Tsukasa said, "I heard a scream I was just worried. "Uh, yeah," Kagami said, "Just stubbed my toe, it really hurt." "Oh," Tsukasa said, her tone not buying it, "You're SURE?" "Tsukasa!" Kagami said, "Go to bed!"

"Ok.." Tsukasa said, a little hurt in her voice, "Sorry. Good night."

Once again Kagami felt her red cheeks subsiding and the blood finally rushed back into her body, her face going from a bright red to her normal skin color. That was a close one.

She didn't know what to do with her newfound hobby, or who she should confide in... IF she should confide in anyone. Konata was out, she would just tease her until the end of days. But this was too much for her to not seek advice from someone.

She sighed. That was probably enough sexual stuff for the night. She felt spent anyway, as the experience was considerably intense.

She got up from her bed and began to get dressed in her pajamas once again, going to her closet and grabbing a spare sheet... so that at least the giant wet spot wouldn't keep her from sleeping. It would probably be dry by the morning.

Turning off the lights and laying down she pulled the covers over herself couldn't help but wonder what this meant. The death of her innocence?

Maybe. But it felt good. It felt really, really good.

[claudia1829things]

“HARRIET” (2019) Review

"HARRIET" (2019) Review Many people are familiar with Harriet Tubman, the former slave-turned-Underground Railroad conductor-turned-Civil War operative-turned-political activist. She has appeared as a supporting character in a handful of television productions and the leading character in two other television productions. However, a full-length feature film has finally been made about the famous historical figure. That film is called "HARRIET".

As I had earlier stated, there have been two television productions about the famous Underground Railroad conductor. One of them was an episode from the 1963-1964 historical anthology series "THE GREAT ADVENTURE" called (1.06) "Go Down, Moses". It starred Ruby Dee. The other television production was the 1978 miniseries "A WOMAN CALLED MOSES", which starred Cicely Tyson. Following the latter, the Harriet Tubman figure appeared in a few television productions about slavery and the Underground Railroad until the release of this new film. "HARRIET" basically covered Tubman's life during a nine-year period between 1849 and 1850, along with a sequence set in 1858. The movie began in 1849 Maryland with Harriet (or Araminta "Minty" Ross Tubman, as she was known then), along with her husband John Tubman and father Ben Ross (both who were free) approached Harriet's owner Edward Bodress with a promise made by the latter's ancestor that her mother Harriet "Rit" Ross would be freed by the age of 45, along with their children (including Harriet). Bodress refused to acknowledge the promise. He also forbade Harriet from seeing her husband John. Brodess's adult son Gideon caught Minty praying for God to take Mr. Brodess. The latter died shortly afterward. Alarmed by this, Gideon decided to sell Minty as punishment. Suffering from spells that began after she had been struck in the head as a child, Minty had a vision of her being free and decided to run away. She convinced John to remain behind, in case he got caught and punished for escaping with her. Minty eventually reached Philadelphia and freedom. She managed to acquire a job, thanks to the assistance of Underground Railroad abolitionist/writer William Still and a fashionable free black woman named Marie Buchanon. After a few months in Philadelphia, Minty (who renamed herself as Harriet Tubman) returned to Maryland to retrieve John and discovered that he had remarried, believing she was dead. Instead, Harriet decided to escort some family members north to freedom and began her career as a conductor for the Underground Railroad. I have been aware of Harriet Tubman ever since I was a child of nine years old. My mother had purchased a copy of Marcy Heidish's 1976 novel called "A Woman Called Moses", the basis for the 1978 miniseries. But "HARRIET" marked the first time that Tubman was featured as the a character in a motion picture, let alone the leading character. So naturally, I had to see it. I had some problems with the movie. One, I could easily see that it was not historical accurate. This is not a real problem for me. After seeing two television productions that erroneously featured Harriet Tubman operating in the Ohio River Valley, the historical inaccuracies in this film struck me as a piece of cake. One example would be the scene during her own escape in which her new owner, Gideon Bodress, and a slave patrol cornered her on a bridge. Instead of surrendering, she evaded them by jumping into the river. Needless to say, no such thing happened, since her owner (Anthony Thompson), or any slave patrol were able to capture her during her journey to Philadelphia. But . . . I was able to tolerate this scene. Somewhat. I was also a bit confused about her relationship with John Tubman in this film. Director-writer Kasi Lemmons and co-writer Gregory Allen Howard portrayed Harriet or Minty's marriage as loving and trouble free. This has not been the case in another Hollywood production I could think of. Unfortunately, no one really knows whether the Tubmans had experienced any marital strife before her flight from Maryland. So . . . I tolerated this portrayal. However, the movie indicated that Minty had suggested John not run with her so that he would not be caught aiding a runaway. This is false. According to history, John did not want her to run in the first place. They also made it clear that John had remarried because he had assumed Minty/Harriet was dead. I do not know whether this is true or not. But it seemed as if Lemmons and Howard seemed hell bent upon portraying John in a positive light as much as possible. But there were changes in the narrative that left me scratching my head. "HARRIET" featured Minty making her escape from Maryland in the middle of the day . . . which I found odd. The movie had her working in a garden when someone warned her that Bodress had plans to sell her to the Deep South in order to alleviate family debts. No sooner had she received the warning, one of the plantation's foremen appeared to grab her. Minty ran and . . . hid. She hid around the plantation for hours before she contacted her family and left. What made this even more odd is that Bodress did not learn of her escape from the foreman until hours later. Which I found very odd. Historically, most slave escapes began in the middle of the night, not in the middle of the day. Why did Minty wait so long to contact her family before her escape? And why did the plantation foreman wait so long to inform Bodress? Also, she made most of her journey by night and hid during the daytime. Which would have made that daytime encounter on the bridge with Bodress somewhat implausible. I can only assume Lemmons and Howard had added it for dramatic reasons. In the movie, Minty/Harriet did not wait very long to return to Maryland and contact her family and John. After escorting several members of her family north, she returned to Maryland and helped others escape on several occasions before the passage of the Fugitive Slave Act of 1850. Now this is ridiculous. One, Tubman returned to Maryland to help some relatives escape at least three to four months after the law's passage. I find it very hard to believe that she had made so many trips to Maryland between her own escape in September 1849 and when the fugitive law was passed in September 1850. Another troubling aspect of the movie was the sequence featuring the passage of the Fugitive Slave Law. The movie featured a scene with former slaves - including Harriet - leaving en masse from the Philadelphia docks, while God knows how many slave catchers suddenly appeared to capture these fugitives. What the hell? I had felt as if I was watching a war movie with refugees escaping from an invaded city. Yes, many fugitive slaves were forced to flee the Northern states for Canada following the law's passage. But not like THAT. Not like a scene from "CASABLANCA" or "THE WINDS OF WAR". I have two more complaints. Why did Lemmons and Howard added that . . . relationship between Harriet and Bodress? Why? It was bad enough that Gideon Bodress never existed. But Tubman had never recounted having to deal with the unwanted sexual interest or assault from any white man. And I got the impression that Lemmons wanted to include some watered down version of the Patsey-Edwin Epps relationship from the Oscar winning film, "12 YEARS A SLAVE" - but without the overt violence and sex. It was obvious that Bodress had never laid a violent hand on Harriet in the film, aside from the slap on the face after he had overheard her wish for his father's death. But I find it implausible that Gideon Bodress had never attempted to sexually assault her. Even when his father was alive. Another sequence featured Northern black and white members discussing the Fugitive Slave Act passage and whether it would be safe to continue the Underground Railroad. What I disliked about this sequence is that most of them seemed to have this attitude without the organization's conductors appearing on Southern plantations to lead them, many slaves would not be willing to escape or would not succeed in escaping. And this was far from the truth. One could argue that this scene was a perfect example of patronization from Northern abolitionists. But Harriet did not point out that slaves were capable of escaping on their own. Instead, she simply argued for the continuation of the Underground Railroad. Which simply made her equally patronizing to me. One would think that I disliked "HARRIET". That person would be wrong. I actually enjoyed it very much. Despite some of the narrative choices, lightweight characterizations and historical inaccuracies; "HARRIET" was both an entertaining and interesting film. One, it is nice to see Hollywood produce a feature film about the former abolitionist. "HARRIET" is a thoughtful drama about a period in United States history about which very few Americans want to discuss, let alone contemplate. Like other Hollywood productions, the movie mainly featured Tubman's early career as an Underground Railroad conductor. I had assumed that it would also focus on her Civil War experiences, due to some publicity stills released before the film hit the theaters. But the movie only included a coda, featuring Tubman's participation in a raid during the war. "HARRIET" was, without a doubt, about her role with the Underground Railroady. Due to the film's focus on Harriet's career as an Underground Railroad conductor, it did not focus that strongly on her family life . . . with the exceptions of her attempts to lead them to freedom. Many critics have complained about this. But I can understand why Lemmons only focused on one aspect of Harriet's life. This was a feature-length film that ran nearly two hours, not a television miniseries. Frankly, I thought it was smart of her to focus one one aspect of Harriet's life, considering the format she had used. And she focused on one of the former slave/abolitionist's most famous period in her life - namely that as an Underground Railroad conductor. Only through this story arc was the movie able to somewhat focus on her connection to her family. In fact, one the most interesting arcs in this narrative proved to be a sequence that featured Tubman's attempts to rescue her sister Rachel and the latter's children. This focus on Harriet's career with the Underground Railroad allowed Lemmons and Howard to reveal Harriet as action heroine she truly was. The writers' narrative arc also featured some well staged action sequences. Among my favorite sequences are Harriet's initial escape from Maryland and her successful rescue of Rachel's children in the film's second half. Both struck me as well-shot sequences that featured a great deal of more tension and drama than action. And I thought the focus on these two aspects may have allowed the sequences to be more effective without the obvious action. I also enjoyed the movie's final action sequence in which Harriet attempted to rescue and lead her parents to freedom in the late 1850s. Not only was this sequence filled with the usual solid action for this trope, it featured a tense-filled final confrontation between Harriet and Bodress. I certainly did not have a problem with the film's production values. I thought Warren Alan Young did an exceptional job in re-creating antebellum America, especially in scenes that featured the Bodress plantation, Baltimore (at least I think it is), Canada and especially Philadelphia. I believe Young was ably supported by John Troll's sharp and colorful cinematography, Wyatt Smith's film editing, Kevin Hardison and Christina Eunji Kim's art direction, and Marthe Pineau's set decorations. I also have to commend Paul Tazewell for his costume designs. I thought Tazewell did an excellent job of conveying the movie's setting and characters through his costumes, as shown in the images below:

I have a confession to make. Aside from a handful, I was not exactly blown away by the performances featured in "HARRIET". I am not claiming that most of the performances were terrible or even mediocre. I simply found them solid . . . or serviceable. There were a few that I found slightly above being serviceable - like Janelle Monáe, Leslie Odom Jr., Zackary Momoh, Tim Guinee, Henry Hunter Hall, Joseph Lee Anderson, Jennifer Nettles and Omar J. Dorsey. But like I had said, there were a few that struck me as memorable. One of them Clarke Peters, who gave a subtle, yet warm portrayal of Harriet/Minty's father, Ben Ross. I was also impressed by Vanessa Bell Calloway, who gave an exceptional performance as the abolitionist's emotional and slightly edgy mother, Harriet Ritt Ross. Joe Alwyn did an excellent job of portraying Gideon Bodress as a slightly complex character without transforming the character into a one-note, mustache-twirling villain. And I really enjoyed Vondie Curtis-Hall's subtle, yet colorful portrayal of Reverend Green, the local free black minister, who also happened to be a member of the Underground Railroad. But the performance that really counted in "HARRIET" came from leading lady Cynthia Erivo. It is almost a miracle that Erivo managed to give such an exceptional performance as Harriet Tubman. I say this, because Lemmons and Howard had failed to fully portray Tubman as a complex human being with not only virtues, but also a few flaws. Their Tubman almost struck me as a borderline Mary Sue, due to their determination to basically portray her as an action heroine. But they did provide some intimate moments between Tubman, her family and friends. And this gave Erivo the opportunity to skillfully convey the warm, yet strong-willed individual underneath the heroic facade. This was especially apparent in scenes that featured Tubman's desperation to put as much distance between her and the Bodress plantation as possible; her determination to return to Maryland to rescue her family; and her discovery that her husband had married another woman. Thanks to her superb performance, Erivo managed to earn both Golden Globe and Academy Award nominations for Best Actress. And if I must be brutally honest, she deserved them. Overall, I enjoyed "HARRIET". I have always been interested in Harriet Tubman as a historical figure and was happy to see a motion picture about her. It was not the best or most compelling biopic I have ever seen. Nor was it the best biopic about Tubman I have ever seen. But I cannot deny that thanks to Kasi Lemmons and Gregory Allen Howard's interesting screenplay, Lemmons' solid direction and a first-rate cast led by Cynthia Erivo, "HARRIET" is a movie that I will be more than happy to watch on many occasions in the future.

[theparanormalperiodical]

Paranormal Activity (2007) - The True Story Behind The Franchise, And The 5 Other Demonic Hauntings You Need To Know About

What does the election of Margaret Thatcher, the industrialisation of Europe, and a shitty found footage film have in common?

They all changed the world.

Sure, Paranormal Activity (2007) may have not brought about the socio-economic changes created by the Iron Lady, nor that of the Industrial Revolution.

But there’s doubt about it: it defined a new era of horror films.

“Whoa whoa whoa - what about The Blair Witch Project?”

Okay, fine, The Blair B*tch Project is an icon that I supernaturally-stan. But it was the chaotic web of films that made up the Paranormal Activity franchise that set off a new focus on real stories, on real hauntings we can see and hear and film and photograph.

Type ‘ghosts’ into YouTube. Go on, do it. 

With enough 10 minute videos clogged with adverts, cheap jumpscares, and a nightvision overlay that would resurrect Paris Hilton’s career, these films tapped into what’s happening right here, right now.

Thanks to the rise of social media and the phones we use to update them, ‘evidence’ of the paranormal is now scattered across the internet. Paranormal Activity tapped into that, providing us innocent viewers with a terrifying movie that would span 5 more films.

(Oh, and it turns out another one is set for release in 2021! Which isn’t unnecessary at all. Nope. Definitely not unneeded.)

But what’s really scary isn’t the film itself. 

Oh, no.

It’s the fact that it’s all based on true stories.

Today’s post is going to recap the Paranormal Activity films, explain the true stories of demonic hauntings it’s based on, and go through the 5 other demonic hauntings you need to know about.

Let’s get spooky.

First, Let’s Recap The Paranormal Activity Franchise

With 7 films under its belt (you can’t forget the spinoff set in Japan!), this saga takes a detour around the core of the franchise and the explanation of the activity.

The franchise centres around a coven of witches who sacrifice first born boys to demons in exchange for money and success. Some first born boys are also used to create a demonic army to protect the coven. 

Most of the films follow one family who experiences the actions of the coven - The Midwives - firsthand. One of the two daughters is kidnapped by her grandmother, a member of the coven, and prepared for the day that she will fulfill her womanly duties:

That’s right, she’s gonna give birth to a demon.

And yes, you are invited to the baby shower!

The films start in the present with one of the daughters beginning to experience traces of paranormal activity which evolves into a full on demonic haunting. It is then revealed in scraps of conversation - and then embellished in later films - that weird paranormal stuff happened when they were kids. 

We then jump back and forth between past ‘n present until the whole witchy-shebang is revealed.

Here’s the film-by-film summary:

Paranormal Activity: Katie and bae Micah witness paranormal activity in their home and decide to film the mysterious things that happen at night - less sex tape, more supernatural. The activity becomes more intense and is revealed to be demonic, focusing on Katie and eventually possessing her. She kills Micah in full demonic-mode, and goes missing.

Paranormal Activity 2: Katie’s sister, Kristi, and her family set up cameras in their house following a burglary (spoiler alert - it ain’t no burglary). Activity escalates, and the daughter of the family, Ali, works out that this is a demonic haunting and that humans made deals with demons by forfeiting the soul of a first born son. Kristi’s son, Hunter, is the first boy born in their family since the 1930s. Kristi is eventually possessed and subsequently exorcised to protect her and the family. They do this by passing the demon onto Katie by burning a photograph. Katie then rocks up in demonic-mode and kidnaps Hunter.

Paranormal Activity 3: Before Hunter was born, Katie gave some old videotapes to her sister, Kristi, which contains footage of their childhood - and the paranormal activity that occurred within it. The activity offers up strange symbols, invisible figures, and the emergence of the coven, The Midwives. Tobi the demon also rocks up for the first time. We also find out what the coven does and that their grandmother, Lois, is one of these witches. Their parents are killed, and Katie and Kristi are told to ‘get ready’. 

Paranormal Activity 4: A new famalam are busy living a non-demonic life when a neighbour falls ill. The neighbour’s child, Wyatt (pssst - it’s Hunter! And the neighbour’s Katie omgggggg) goes to live with them. Their non-demonic life then becomes demonic. Spooky shenanigans ensue, we see the coven, Katie kills people… On reflection, this film didn’t need to be made. But oh well. 

Paranormal Activity 5: The Marked Ones: Lovable high school grad, Jesse, is living his non-demonic life above his totally-demonic neighbour, Ana. Turns out she’s a witch in the coven. One of his classmates is also demonic, and is seen doing demonic shit as a result of Ana. It is then revealed that some first born sons are recruited into this demonic army. Jesse is one of them, and begins to exhibit strange behaviour - he has been ‘marked’. Jesse’s friend and rag-tag group of anti-demonic people investigate and rock up at witch-HQ. His friend is then chased into a door which is revealed to be a portal from which he goes into the kitchen of Katie and Micah. Katie screams and thinks he’s an intruder who Micah tackles. Katie then kills Micah - this is the last scene of the first Paranormal Activity. 

Paranormal Activity 6: The Ghost Dimension: In this film we see snapshots of young Katie and Kristi being taught to unleash their demonicy powers, as well as a new family living on the property where they used to live. The young daughter, Leila is seen talking to and interacting with a dark figure. It is then discovered Leila was born on the same day as hunter, and that Leila has gone through a portal into another world.  A priest attempts to cleanse the house, Tobi goes cray-cray and kills someone. Leila flees through the portal and the mother follows. They rock up at Katie and Kristi’s house and meet young Katie and Kristi. The mother is killed, and Leila and Tobi walk off into the sunset. 

Confused?

Me too.

Sure, it is a thin plot that’s been stretched across far too many flicks, but it’s the frightening filler that really defines the franchise.

Doors moving, earthquakes, dark figures appearing and moving, footsteps seen and heard, strange symbols appearing....

It all ties together to make an iconic set of films. 

Are they going to be remembered for being great?

No. 

Do I care?

Hell to the nah!

But what I do care about is the true story the franchise is based on.

So, What Is The True Story Behind Paranormal Activity?

Okay, fine, I told a lie: they’re actually based on multiple stories of demonic and other paranormal hauntings.

Yes, that is worse. 

I’ve dissected 3 components of the films that I’ve traced back to real paranormal theories and stories.

Demonic hauntings

Animal and children interaction with paranormal activity

And the coven

Let’s Start With The Demonic Hauntings 

If there’s one thing that Paranormal Activity gets right, it’s the paranormal activity.

With minimal discussion of what the shit is actually going on - particularly in the first movie - it truly lives up to its name of just being pure spooks. Now, in case you’re new to this blog, you probably won’t be as versed as I am in everything-spooky.

*flips hair*

Things like objects and furniture moving are just a few components of paranormal activity, as is lights flickering, for example; this all features as the beginning of the films’ activity, similar to that of real cases of spirit and demonic hauntings.

But the films then go on to capture what makes hauntings truly demonic:

Growling noises, people in trances or acting strange, and aggressive supernatural activity - all build up to the inevitable possession of a character which happens in every single film. 

And it hits possession like a nail on the head. 

It follows historic theories closely, focusing only on female possession. According to medieval theories, women were more likely to be possessed as they were deemed weaker, and thus more vulnerable to demons and spirits wanting to control their bodies. 

Young girls? Magnets for Satan.

So, given the centrality of the young girls to the film who are besties with and apparently shit out a demon via the vag, this is pretty accurate. 

Which, you know, is fine, this is fine.

Another key component of the demonic haunting we need to discuss rocks up in the first film, setting alight the curiosity that had us humble viewers coming back to every following film:

It’s the burnt photo of Katie as a child.

Burnt photos - or just destroyed photos - figure as key milestones of a demonic haunting. And smashed photo frames, scratched pictures all feature in this franchise.

In the films, it is eventually deduced that the burnt photo is used to transfer a demon to someone else. That explains why later in the film, the demon goes on to possess Katie. 

In terms of paranormal cases, photos being used for ritualistic purposes is well documented in cases of witchcraft. One example of this is from the mysterious death of Estefanía Gutiérrez Lázaro, a story immortalised in the horror hit, Veronica.

At one point during the real case of Estefania, her picture burns spontaneously in front of her family around the time of her death.

In fact, burning items in general is a classic ritual related to unleashing demons. Fancy getting rid of your Ouija board? Don’t burn it - as hell is, uh, hot, demons can be released. Or they’re trapped in the board itself and by destroying it, they can escape.

Burning is also used in invocation, a ritual used in demonolatry, the worship of demons. 

Next Up Is The Interactions Between Animals, Children, And The Paranormal

All horror films tend to start with the same thing:

The doggo starts acting weird.

In The Conjuring, the dog dies. In The Woman In Black, the dog draws attention to the dark figure approaching Harry Potter Daniel Radcliffe. And in Paranormal Activity 2, the doggo barks at invisible figures and gets hurt by the demon. 

Question is, does this actually happen?

Yep. 

Apparently, dogs and cats are highly susceptible to the supernatural. With their proved heightened senses - and some folklore to back it up - animals are considered one of the first signs of something paranormal.

And kids?

It’s the same thing. Remember what I said about young girls being really vulnerable ‘cause all women are weak? Children were considered to be on that same level of ‘open-to-demon-ness’ as women, so it follows that they’d be equally aware of the paranormal. 

Enter the imaginary friend, Tobi. You know - the demon. 

Imaginary friends bulk out most creepypastas, as well as the true ghost stories littering the internet. So unfortunately, Tobi is far more common than we’d like to think.

Yay.

Let’s Talk About The Coven, The Midwives

The underlying plot of the films - aside from being about cupboards opening all by themselves - is about the puppet-like control of the family by The Midwives.

And there are 3 things which directly link to real cases of covens and witchcraft.

However, when I started my research, I immediately ran into a problem: covens worshipping demons they want to bring back to earth and take over the world aren’t exactly shouting about their activities.

There’s no Twitter account posting memes about kidnapping kids. There’s no YouTube channel devoted to altar hauls. And there’s no crowdfunding to raise money for the indoctrination of women as they sacrifice their kids to demons.

But I did want to pull apart a few things like the symbol of the Midwives, their obsession with first born boys, and the confusing plotline of time travel. 

First, we have their motives for their worship and sacrifice: its to gain money and success. This is a well documented component of black magic and demonolatry, a motive we can trace back to concepts from the medieval era.

Next is the symbol.

Despite looking like they copied and pasted it from Harry Potter, symbols containing a triangle and circle frequent literature documenting witchcraft. Specifically, this symbol is close to that of Soloman’s Seal, or the Triple Tale.

The latter represents gates, or spiritual manifestations. 

That’s pretty fecking close to the plot of the movie!

Following up from your next tramp stamp tat is their obsession with first born boys. 

“It’s the patriarchy!”

Hell fucking yeah, it is. 

These witches are seriously behind the times, and stick to biblical notions of magic, deducing their obsession from the value appointed to first born boys in the biblical era. This is especially true given that the sacrifice of a first born son often crops up or is referred to in this bestselling book. 

Finally, we have to discuss the time travel.

The franchise ties all the films together by using time travel to…

Look, I have no fucking clue why or how or for what reason. But What I do know is that there are these portals that can take people back to key plot moments of extreme witchy-demony-stuff. 

Take the first time we see one of these portals: during the 5th movie we see a character stuck in Witch-HQ, looking for a way to escape. He decides to go through a door covered in strange symbols cause that’s not gonna be witchy at all. 

He walks through, and enters a kitchen. He then sees Katie, the lass from the first movie walk down the stairs, and scream for Micah, her boyfriend.

That’s right - we witness the moment she becomes possessed, suggesting the witches had some direct hand in that moment.

The circle is complete! I think, I don’t know, I’m still confused...

Unfortunately, these portals end the series. In the last film, a new family rock up in a house built on the property where the young girls kidnapped by the coven used to live, and the kid of the new family ends up time travelling to when they used to live there, even though that house burnt down.

“So, is it based on paranormal theories?”

No. 

Sure, some witchcraft does mention travelling to other plains - see astral projection and Insidious - but, like my coven research, witches ain’t posting their time travels on insta.

That being said, I would love to see that classic hand holding/leading shot as a witch takes bae into another dimension...

Paranormal Activity may be the cinematic representative for a jumpscare-binge, but the film goes much deeper than a demon throwing a tantrum and slamming a door cause nobody understands him. 

(Dammit, Tobi.)

Fact is, Paranormal Activity isn’t just ‘based on a true story’. It’s an accurate representation of a demonic haunting.

The 5 Demonic Haunted Houses You Need To Know About

Let me guess:

You’re currently hiding under a quilt and watching Gordon-Ramsay-Getting-Hella-Angry compilations on YouTube to try and calm down. 

If so, you’re gonna want to stay under there - It’s time to discuss the other demonic hauntings that are similar to the Paranormal Activity franchise.

Uncomfortably similar, that is.

Fantastic.

#1 -  The Demon House

Topping our list is a house which clearly fits the topic of this post by its name alone.

Bob Cranmer, former resident of this Pittsburgh house, claims he lived in a house that was haunted by a demon for 18 years. Why did he stay in this house for 18 years if this was in fact also home to a demon?

*shrug*

Either way, before a demon was cast out by an exorcism in the mid-noughties, the haunting manifested in hands pushing and slapping family members, you know, the usual escalation of violent attacks…

Oh, and Cranmer also saw blood dripping from the walls. 

But it’s the backstory to the property that really makes things terrifying. It was discovered that the Demon House was built upon a site from which Native Americans were murdered by European settlers. On top of that, a builder cursed the land during construction. 

Also, a former tenant of the house is believed to have been an illegal abortionist who performed hundreds of these operations in the house. Well, depending on what you believe, this supposedly brought forward a demon.

(It’s at this point that I would think “oh I should be neutral” but nah fuck that #prochoice)

Anyway.

According to Cranmer’s investigation - from which he even churned out a book on the house - the name of the demon is Moloch, a god mentioned in the Old Testament. By researching the old tenants of the house, he discovered that some were actually worshippers of this demon.

And considering Moloch’s love for child sacrifices, Cranmer connected some dots regarding the illegal abortionist that once lived there.

Regardless of my disagreements with this verdict, there is no doubt that this be a spooky house.

#2 - The Smurl Family House

You know shit’s spooky when Ed and Lorraine Warren rock up at your house. 

For a period of 13 years, the Smurl family of Pennsylvania was tormented by a demon which smothered them with an abundance of supernatural activity. 

Toilets flushing by themselves, electronic devices failing to work, and awful odours passing through the house was just a few components of the activity faced. This escalated into arguably more violent activity synonymous with demonic hauntings:

Claw marks appeared in various rooms, full bodied apparitions would appear over beds, and a demon they named ‘Old Hag’ became a permanent resident.

Whether ‘Old Hag’ was passing through walls, or sexually assaulting the human residents, there was no doubt that the Smurls were witnessing an intense level of activity.

50 exorcisms were used to cleanse the house, but to no avail; the assaults didn’t stop until the Smurls moved out, giving further evidence to support the skeptics that this demonic haunting was no haunting at all. 

#3 - The Bean’s Family House

It’s the 1970s. We are in Baltimore, in a quiet suburb crammed full of all-american families. 

Unfortunately, there was no Tracy Turnblad around to brighten up this ranch style house. This home was cursed with a negative energy that was soon determined to be the result of a demonic presence. 

This demonic haunting manifested in cold hands touching and grabbing family members, reenacting all the ways someone could be murdered. It even transformed itself into a human draped in a black suit!

With fierce black eyes giving away its true identity, the demon was ascertained as the cause of the activity, and the Bean family fled in the 1980s. 

Question is, what was the root of this demon? 

The former residents claim it was extra-terrestrial contact, with strange pictures supporting their claims.

#4 - The Haunting of Latoya Ammons

There’s a ghost making your TV turn on and off… And then there’s mysterious occurrences so intense the local police are involved.

This case is the latter.

It all started in 2011, shortly after a small family moved into their new home in Indiana. Large black flies began to swarm their front porch, and the frequent sound of footsteps began to trouble the family.  

Shadowy figures also began to emerge, and would become the centre of the haunting. Alongside this, Ammons claimed she also witnessed her daughter levitating above her bed, sparking the need for supernatural support. Mediums were called, and they deduced that 200 demons haunted their house. 

Following an exorcism, the family decided to leave the house as it failed to rid the house of its paranormal residents. Not convinced? Here’s the iconic picture believed to show a demon standing at the window of the house:

#5 - The Sallie House

Considered one of the most famous haunted houses in the world, this home is the residence of a young girl named Sallie. Oh, and she’s dead. It is believed that she was a victim of a lobotomy in the early 20th century, and attacks any men who enter the house in vengeance of her doctor.

But what really made this house famous was the investigation by a TV crew who experienced scratches and bruises from unseen forces in real time. Such violent assaults are a trademark of demonic hauntings.

Other visitors have also cited apparitions, floating objects, and animal noises, confirming that this house features something that we simply cannot explain. .

When mediums rocked up to deduce the centre of this haunting, they determined that that little girl was a magnet for darker, demonic forces that have entered the house.  

I told you - young girls are magnets for Satan. 

So - what’s your verdict?

Do you think these houses are haunted?

And who’s ready for a sleepover in one of them?

(not me)

Be sure to let me know in a comment.

And don’t forget to hit follow for a spook every single day.