#AGAIN had to be screen recorded because it’s tiny

[theaologies]

“The world went down in dominoes. Launch one nuke, you’ll get twenty thousand anti-air missiles in response. SAM sites open up all over the earth, like wildflowers. One little nuke… then a lot of bigger nukes… Christ, why’d we have ’em?” -John 1:20

Some tiny Nona the Ninth fanart of my favorite chapter. 100x100 pixels

[goldsainz]

# F1 GRID — OOPS, WRONG PERSON !

MASTERLIST !

REQUEST !

001. SUMMARY !

✯ you decide to pull a prank by “butt-dialing” your boyfriend.

002. WARNINGS !

✯ tiny tiniest bit of angst, barely proofread.

003. NOTE !

✯ i loveddd this request, so much fun to write! hope you all enjoy it because i don’t know if it’s quite as good as i intended. also, this is LONGGG so please let me know if you liked it 🫶

word count : 5,6k

★ CARLOS SAINZ

Carlos is genuinely surprised when he sees your name pop up on his phone, a facetime call incoming. Still, he doesn’t hesitate in answering. Whatever it is you might have to say must be important given the fact that you usually avoid making calls. Texts or face-to-face conversation being more your style.

What he doesn’t know, is you’re trying to keep your giggles to yourself. You have your back-up phone in hand, recording a TikTok trend you saw and decided to attempt with your boyfriend.

When Carlos answers, you pull yourself together and start speaking as if you were in the middle of a conversation. You wonder if the wall can see the idiocy of what you’re doing, if it’s judging you as you sit alone in your room whilst pranking your boyfriend.

“Amor?” Carlos asks, greeting you still slightly confused as to the reason for your call. You grin at his voice, your camera pointing to the ceiling so it seems like an accident.

“Honestly, I think I would tell him no,” you say to nobody in particular, making up a conversation.

“Hello? What’s going on?” He asks again, but you pay him no mind.

You continue your prank as best as you can, “I don’t know… I don’t think I’m ready for that kind of commitment,”

Carlos doesn’t respond instantly, but he gets the feeling that you’ve accidentally called him. He doesn’t hung up, no, he’s too nosy to do that. So, he keeps quiet in hopes that you continue whatever conversation you’re having.

“Do you think he would be mad?” You ask to your wall, “He’s really sweet, but that would anger anyone.”

What? He asks in his mind, trying to fill in the blanks to your conversation. Are you talking about him?

“He asked me the other day if I liked silver or gold better, isn’t that a sign?”

Oh, you so are talking about him.

When the realisation hits, he’s kind of sad. He didn’t ask it with the intentions you are insinuating, but you would really say no if he asked you to marry him? He can’t help but have his feelings hurt.

“I just don’t want to rush things.”

The silence on the other end of the phone is deafening. You would think he hung up if you weren’t so intently watching the screen on your phone. You feel slightly bad about the kind of conversation you’re having. A fake conversation, but still, you feel bad.

Deciding he’s had enough, Carlos hungs up. He won’t listen in on your conversation any longer, it’s doing him no good. He’s left with a bitter taste in his mouth, a weight crushing onto his chest as he ponder over your words. He didn’t know you felt that way, and truthfully, he could’ve gone on for longer without knowing.

Immediately, you call him back. He’s tempted to ignore the call but twice can’t be a coincidence.

“What?” He asks quickly after answering, when he sees your face his harsh frown softens but his tone doesn’t.

“I’m sorry,” you say, dragging the y, “It was a prank, mi vida.”

He freezes for a second and then lets out a sigh of relief, “It was?”

“Yes!” You exclaim, showing him your second phone, “Say hello to TikTok.”

“You scared me,” he says with a shake of his head, “I thought you were being serious.”

“Never,” you firmly respond, “Can’t wait to be Mrs. Sainz,”

He smiles at the sudden shyness of your voice, “Well, that’s a relief then,”

You laugh at his words then suddenly stop, “Wait, Carlos, what do you mean?”

He looks at you as best as he can through a camera lens, then laughs and blows you a kiss.

“Carlos! What do you mean?” You ask more desperately, searching for answers but he just laughs and says his goodbyes.

You are left with your mouth agape when he hangs up. The video is certainly funny, and you can’t wait to edit out the more intimate ending and post it. But you’re left with a nervous yet exciting feeling at the pit of your stomach.

Perhaps the prankster ended up being the one pranked. Though you hope it’s not a prank.

★ CHARLES LECLERC

You await Charles’ response to your facetime call, patiently sitting down on your bed and your other phone in hand, ready to record. 

When your incoming call appears on Charles’s screen, he instantly answers. He loves to hear from you, especially when he’s away from you and misses you deeply. 

“Hello, mon chou,” he says, smiling at the camera and then slightly frowning when he notices that your camera is completely black.

“Okay, so I’ll see you at seven, right?” You ask your bear plushie, smiling at the ridiculousness of the prank.

At your words Charles’ mood dips, trying to understand what you;re saying or better yet, who you're speaking to.

“I’m so excited to see you,” Maybe it's cruel to play such games when you're thousands of kilometres apart. 

You know how much Charles misses you, how gruelling being so far away from home is to him. It is to you as well, being separated from your boyfriend tears your heart apart each time, but you decide that maybe spicing things up a little could be just what you need.

"Wait, who are you talking to? Is someone else there?” He asks, fidgeting with his hair and straightening up from where he was sitting. 

You pretend to ignore his voice and continue with the prank, “Yeah, he’s in Canada right now.”

Your boyfriend is now agitated at your words, though he prides himself for his calmness in tense situations he's not sure how to act right now. Should he hang up? Shout so that you perhaps hear him? Or stick around for the call and understand who you're talking to?

“No no, don't even worry about him,” you have to stifle your giggles, looking at the plushy in front of you who has served as your faithful company while Charles is away.

He leans in closer to the camera, tilting his head slightly, trying to understand what’s going on. “Amour, who’s there with you? Is someone else there?” he asks, a little louder this time, but still in that soft, slightly panicked tone.

It takes everything in you not to break character, but you want to see how far you can go. And hey, if you can pull this off maybe an acting career is not so far away. 

“Honestly, it gets so boring around here but you make it better.”

Charles’ lips part as if he’s about to say something, but he hesitates. You can see him wrestling with his emotions. He doesn’t want to jump to conclusions, but the confusion and a bit of hurt are written all over his face. He glances away from the screen, clearly feeling awkward. “I mean... if you’re busy, I can call you later?” His voice is soft, polite as always, but there’s a hint of insecurity creeping in.

Finally, you can’t keep up the act anymore, and burst into laughter.

His eyes widen in realisation, and his face immediately softens with relief. “Wait, is this a joke?!” His hand goes to his chest, and he lets out a nervous laugh. “Mon dieu, I thought you were serious for a second! I was so confused.” He laughs now, more freely, shaking his head.

You grab your phone, fixing the angle so he can finally see you and just how alone you are in your room. “Yeah, it was just a prank. You should’ve seen your face!”

The giggles you're letting out make Charles smile, finding it endearing how such a simple thing entertained you. 

He groans playfully, clearly relieved but also slightly embarrassed. “You really got me... I didn’t know what to think! I was about to ask if I needed to fly out and speak with you!” He chuckles, running a hand through his hair again, his smile back and wider than ever. “But honestly, don’t do that again, chérie. I was about to lose my mind!”

You laugh, wiping a tear from your eye. “I’m sorry, I just couldn’t resist! You were so confused, it was hilarious!”

He shakes his head with a grin, still amused, but now there’s a more serious note in his eyes. He leans a little closer to the camera, his voice softening. “I’m glad it was a joke, but you had me really worried for a second there. I didn’t know what I would’ve done if it was real...” He trails off, his expression turning thoughtful, like he’s truly imagining what it would feel like if you were talking to someone else.

You smile, feeling a bit guilty for messing with him. “I would never do that to you, Charles. It was just a prank.”

He breathes out a little sigh, then flashes you a tender smile that could melt anyone’s heart. “I know, I know. I trust you... but still, you’re so important to me.” His voice drops to a softer tone, his vulnerability shining through. “You don’t know how much I care about you. When I thought you might be talking to someone else... I don’t think I could’ve handled it.”

His sincerity catches you off guard, and your heart swells. Before you can say anything, he smiles again, a little sheepish now. “But anyway, good prank. I’ll give you that.” He points a playful finger at the screen. “Just remember, payback’s coming!” His grin is wide, but there’s a mischievous glint in his eyes.

You raise an eyebrow, pretending to be unbothered. “Oh really? What are you going to do?”

Charles smirks, leaning back in his chair. “You’ll see. You’ll never know when it’s coming, but when it does, you’re going to regret pranking me!” He winks, but it’s clear he’s more than happy to let this prank slide for now.

Then, his voice softens again, and he gives you a look that’s pure affection. “But seriously... don’t scare me like that again. I like knowing I’m the only one you’re FaceTiming.” He smiles, his dimples showing, his face a mix of relief and playful charm.

You can’t help but laugh. “Okay, okay! I promise, no more pranks like that.”

“Good,” he says with a final grin, looking like he’s truly at ease again. Then, he blows you a quick kiss through the screen. “Now, tell me what you were actually doing before you called me. I’ve been thinking about you all day.”

★ LANDO NORRIS

It’s late afternoon, and you’re feeling mischievous. You decide to pull a prank you saw earlier on TikTok on Lando. You know he will be caught off guard, and that’s exactly what you’re going for.

You set your phone on the couch, deliberately calling Lando without actually answering the FaceTime. Then, in a casual voice, you start the prank, pretending to have a conversation with someone else.

“Yeah, it was so fun hanging out last night. You’re hilarious!” you say, just loud enough for Lando to hear through the FaceTime call. “I can’t believe we stayed up talking for so long!”

On the other end of the line, Lando picks up immediately. Your contact name makes him smile, wondering what you’re about tell him. But when the call goes through, he’s confused, staring at your screen which faces the ceiling. “Wait… babe? Hello?” he says, glancing around as if trying to figure out what’s happening. He leans in, his brows furrowing when he hears you talking, but not to him.

“Yeah, it was so fun hanging out last night. You’re hilarious!” you say, just loud enough for Lando to hear through the FaceTime call. “I can’t believe we stayed up talking for so long!”

His eyes go wide as he looks closer at the phone, confusion spreading across his face. He shifts in his chair, trying to process what he’s hearing. “What? What’s going on? Who are you talking to?” he asks, his voice growing more anxious.

You continue the conversation, making it sound even more flirty. “Yeah, I didn’t expect to have that much fun either. You’re really something else.”

Lando's heart rate definitely spikes. He leans forward, the panic starting to creep into his voice. “Wait, wait, who’s there? Who’s she talking to?” He mutters to himself, wondering why the hell you can't hear his panicked voice but what he's more worried about is who you're talking to. 

“I’ll text you later, okay? Maybe we can hang out again soon?” you say, keeping your tone light and playful. “Yeah, it was really great seeing you. I’ll talk to you later!”

By now, Lando’s freaking out. He’s still staring at the phone screen, but you can see the uncertainty and jealousy building. He runs a hand through his hair, letting out a nervous laugh. “Okay, this can’t be real. Am I being punked or something? Who the hell are you talking to?” He leans in closer, almost yelling now. “Babe! Hello! Can you hear me?!”

You pretend not to hear him and keep talking to the imaginary guy. “Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow. Can’t wait.”

He finally breaks, face twisting into disbelief, and he throws his hands in the air. “Are you serious right now? Who the hell is this guy?!” His voice cracks, and he’s clearly spiralling at this point. “Babe! BABE! Who are you talking to?! Are you with someone else?!” He’s practically on the edge of his seat, completely panicking.

You can’t hold back anymore and burst out laughing, picking up the phone.

Lando’s eyes are wild as he sees you finally holding the phone properly. “Wait… what? What’s going on? Who are you—” He stops mid-sentence as he realises you’re laughing, and it slowly dawns on him. “Oh my god.” He slumps back in his chair, groaning dramatically. “Noooo, don’t tell me this was a prank!”

Still laughing, you nod. “Yep! You got butt-dialed, babe.”

His face is still frozen in disbelief. “Are you joking right now?” he asks, his voice going up an octave. His hand is over his chest like he’s trying to calm his racing heart. “You seriously just made me think you were talking to another guy?”

“Uh-huh,” you reply, barely holding back more laughter.

He leans closer to the screen, his eyes wide. “I’m literally sweating! My heart was in my throat, and you were over here just… casually chatting with some ‘guy.’” His voice cracks a little as he says “guy,” and his dramatic reaction makes you laugh harder.

“Oh, come on, it was just a little prank,” you tease.

Lando shakes his head, looking somewhere between amused and exasperated. “Little prank? I was literally about to start a fight with the air! I’ve never been so confused in my life!” He lets out a long, dramatic sigh, slumping back in his chair. “I’m in shambles right now. I’ve been emotionally attacked.”

You try to stop giggling, but his over-the-top reaction just keeps it going. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to give you a heart attack!”

“Too late,” he says with mock seriousness. “The damage is done. I might need to lie down after this.” He pauses, staring at you with narrowed eyes, a small smirk forming on his lips. “You owe me big time.”

You roll your eyes, still smiling. “Oh, really? And what exactly do I owe you?”

Lando crosses his arms, feigning deep thought. “Well, first off, you owe me a massive apology. And then maybe…” His eyes light up as the thought hits him. “You can take me out for a nice dinner, pay for dessert, and— oh! I’m thinking a full day of pampering.”

You laugh, raising an eyebrow. “Pampering? What do you think this is, a spa?”

He grins, leaning back in his chair and looking more relaxed now. “Hey, I deserve it after what you just put me through. I was about to show up at your place ready to fight some random guy I didn’t even know existed!”

“Alright, alright,” you say, playfully rolling your eyes again. “I’ll pamper you. But just this once!”

Lando’s grin grows wider. “Deal. But I’m definitely getting you back for this, by the way. Just so you know.”

You can’t help but laugh at his scheming. “I’d expect nothing less from you.”

He tilts his head, his eyes softening slightly. “But seriously, don’t scare me like that again, okay? My poor heart can’t take it.” His voice drops into a teasing whine, but there’s a touch of genuine relief there too.

You smile, feeling a little guilty now. “I promise, no more butt-dial pranks.”

Lando sighs in mock relief, then grins. “Good. Now that we’ve got that settled, I’m expecting that pampering session to start soon. I’m thinking back rubs and snacks. Lots of snacks.”

You shake your head with a laugh. “You’re impossible.”

“You love it,” he says cheekily, winking at you.

★ LEWIS HAMILTON

It’s late in the evening, you’re lounging on the couch, scrolling through social media when a mischievous idea pops into your head: prank Lewis. It’s been a long week for him, and you know he’s probably relaxing after a day full of meetings and training. That makes it the perfect time to catch him off guard.

Picking up your phone, you set it on the couch beside you, face down, so it looks like a genuine mistake. Then, with one quick swipe, you FaceTime him. The phone rings a few times before Lewis picks up. You can see from the tiny preview screen that he’s in the hotel, leaning back in his chair, probably unwinding after the busy day he's had.

At first, he looks confused when he sees the camera pointing at your ceiling. “Babe?” he calls out, his voice soft and curious. “Did you call me?”

You ignore his soft voice, pretending you don’t realise you’ve called him. Instead, you start the staged conversation with your "friend” who really just is an unbothered Roscoe, who's resting by your feet and not paying much attention to anything.

“I don’t know, I just feel like things with Lewis aren’t working anymore,” you say with a sigh, making your voice sound hesitant, like you’re deep in thought.

On the other end, you can hear Lewis pause, his confusion evident as he watches the ceiling of your living room on the screen. “Wait, what? Did I just hear that right?” he mumbles, his voice soft but tinged with concern.

You continue, not responding to him, staying in character, “It’s just been really hard lately. Like, I know he cares about me, but it feels like we’re growing apart, you know?” You make your voice sound vulnerable, as if you’re spilling your deepest thoughts to this imaginary friend.

Lewis sits up straighter, his face showing a mix of confusion and worry now. He leans toward the screen, trying to get your attention. “Babe? What’s going on? Who are you talking to?” His voice is still calm, but there’s a note of urgency creeping in.

You keep the fake conversation going, pushing it a little further. “I mean, I love him, but sometimes love isn’t enough. We’re just in different places, and I don’t know if we’re going to make it.”

Your boyfriend’s eyes widen and he rubs a hand over his face, his composure starting to slip as the weight of your words sinks in. “Wait, hold on, what are you talking about? You don’t think we’re gonna make it? Babe, what’s happening?” His voice is louder now, more strained, and you can see the confusion and hurt beginning to cloud his expression.

You almost put a stop to your prank right there, but you decide to push through. So, you ignore him, still talking to your imaginary friend, “I’ve been thinking about ending things for a while, but it’s just so hard. He’s so sweet, and I don’t want to hurt him, but I can’t keep pretending everything’s fine.”

Lewis blinks, and you can see him processing your words, his heart clearly sinking. His mouth opens slightly, but he’s struggling to find the right thing to say. “No, no, this can’t be real,” he whispers to himself, shaking his head. 

You glance at the screen briefly, seeing the growing panic in his eyes, but you push the prank a bit further. “Yeah, I’m going to talk to him soon. I just hope he understands.” You add a small, fake sigh. “I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t think we’re right for each other anymore.”

He lets out a shaky breath, his calm exterior cracking even more. “Babe, talk to me. What’s going on? Is this how you really feel?” He’s practically pleading now, his voice full of emotion. You can see the vulnerability in his eyes as he tries to make sense of everything.

Finally, unable to hold it together any longer, you burst out laughing and grab the phone. “Oh my god, Lewis, it’s a prank!”

For a moment, Lewis just stares at you, blinking in complete disbelief. Then, slowly, realisation dawns, and he lets out a long, exasperated sigh, slumping back in his chair. “No way… are you serious? You were just messing with me?”

You nod, still laughing. “Yeah, there’s no friend. I wasn’t talking about breaking up with you. I’m so sorry, my love!”

He rubs his face with both hands, trying to process everything. “Wow… okay, you really got me.” He exhales sharply, clearly relieved but still a bit shaken. “I thought I was about to lose you here. My heart was racing.”

“I’m sorry!” you say, giggling. “I didn’t mean to freak you out that much, I swear.”

He chuckles softly, though you can see the relief still lingering on his face. “You really had me going, babe. I didn’t know what to think.” He pauses, then looks at you with a mix of amusement and reproach. “I was ready to drop everything and come find you.”

You grin, feeling a little bad now that you can see how worried he really was. “I didn’t mean to push it that far! It was just supposed to be a little prank.”

Lewis shakes his head with a smile, the tension starting to fade. “Alright, alright. It’s all good. You got me. But don’t think I’m letting you off the hook so easily.”

You raise an eyebrow. “Oh? What’s my punishment?”

He leans back, crossing his arms with a playful smirk. “I’m not sure yet, but I’m definitely getting you back for this. And trust me, when I do, you’ll never see it coming.” His eyes glint with mischief, though there’s still that hint of vulnerability lingering in his expression.

You laugh, still feeling a bit guilty for putting him through that emotional rollercoaster. “Fair enough, I’ll be ready for whatever you’ve got planned.”

He chuckles, his smile softening. “Just… no more pranks like that, alright? You really freaked me out.” His voice lowers, and you can tell he means it.

You nod, giving him an apologetic smile. “I promise, no more fake breakups.”

Lewis grins, though his eyes are still warm with lingering emotion. “Good. Because if we’re going to have a serious conversation, I’d rather it be in person.” He winks, his usual calm confidence starting to return.

“Deal,” you say with a playful roll of your eyes, relieved that he’s taking it so well.

He sighs dramatically, then chuckles. “You’re lucky I love you, babe. Because if anyone else tried that on me…” He trails off with a smirk, but you know he means it.

“I know, I know. You’re the best,” you tease, still smiling.

“Yeah, don’t forget it,” he says, his voice light, but you can tell he’s glad the whole thing was just a joke.

★ MAX VERSTAPPEN

Max’s phone buzzes with a FaceTime call, and he glances at the screen, seeing your name pop up. It’s unusual for you to call directly; you typically prefer texting or face-to-face conversations. So, he’s immediately curious about what might be urgent enough to warrant a call.

You place your phone face down on the couch and dial Max’s number. The phone rings a few times before he picks up, his face appearing on the screen. He’s clearly winding down after a long day, his hair slightly tousled and a relaxed look on his face.

“Hey, what’s up?” he asks casually. You can see he’s expecting a normal call.

Instead of responding, you start chatting as if you’re talking to someone else. “Yeah, it was great seeing you tonight. I didn’t expect to have such a good time.” You add a flirty tone to your voice, trying to sound casual.

At first, Max stays silent, his expression shifting from relaxed to puzzled. After a moment, his eyes narrow, and he leans closer to the screen. “Who are you talking to?” His voice is direct, with a calm demeanour that contrasts the intensity in his eyes.

You continue with the prank, keeping up the pretence. “I know, right? It’s been so long since we’ve had a chance to hang out like this.” You give a small, playful laugh.

Max’s face tightens slightly, and he sits up straight, clearly not pleased. “Seriously, who is that? Who are you talking to?” His tone is calm but authoritative.

“I’m glad we could hang out,” you say softly, using the same voice you use when you want to sweeten Max. It’s a tone reserved only for him, and that only makes him more frustrated.

He watches you intently, his patience wearing thin. “I’m not playing games. Are you going to tell me who this is or not?” 

You can see his frustration building as he waits for a response. When you don’t immediately answer, he makes a decisive move. “You know what? I’m ending this call.” He starts to hang up, but then pauses, his eyes narrowing even more. “Actually, I’m coming over. I want to see who you’re talking to.”

Before you can react, he’s already starting to disconnect. Realising the prank might be escalating, you quickly grab the phone and try to calm him down. “Wait, Max, it’s a joke! I was just messing with you!”

Max freezes mid-disconnect, his eyes widening with a mix of relief and disbelief. He straightens up, a sarcastic grin spreading across his face. “Oh, a joke? Perfect timing. I was just about to come over and give your ‘mystery guy’ a piece of my mind. You know, because clearly, he needed a crash course on what it means to mess with my girlfriend.”

You burst out laughing, trying to explain yourself. “I’m really sorry, Max. I didn’t think it would get this intense.”

He rolls his eyes dramatically, still grinning. “Yeah, because nothing says ‘I’m just kidding’ like a full-blown emotional crisis. I’m sure your ‘mystery guy’ would’ve been thrilled to meet the real Max Verstappen, all dressed up for a confrontation.”

You giggle, feeling a bit sheepish. “I didn’t mean for it to go that far. I just thought it would be a harmless prank.”

Max raises an eyebrow, his sarcasm in full swing. “Oh, of course, harmless. I mean, who needs peace of mind when you’ve got surprise pranks, right?”

You laugh, trying to diffuse the situation. “Okay, okay, I get it. I’ll make sure to keep my pranks a bit less intense next time.”

He smirks, shaking his head. “Yeah, that’s probably a good idea. Unless you want me to come over and give you a live demonstration of what happens when you prank a racing driver. Spoiler alert: It involves a lot of very fast revenge.”

“Noted,” you say with a grin. “I promise, no more surprise drama.”

Max chuckles, his sarcasm giving way to genuine amusement. “Good. Because I was about to start practising my ‘disappointed boyfriend’ speech. And trust me, it’s a work of art.”

You laugh again, feeling relieved that he’s taking it well. “I’ll avoid any more pranks that might warrant a speech.”

“Perfect. Now, let’s talk about something less dramatic— like how you’re going to make it up to me. And I don’t mean another prank.”

You laugh, ready to move on from the prank. “I’ve got just the thing. No more surprises, I promise.”

He chuckles, shaking his head. “Good. And remember, I’m always keeping an eye out for any more ‘mysterious’ calls.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you say with a laugh. 

★ OSCAR PIASTRI

You’re feeling cheeky and decide to pull a prank on your boyfriend by pretending to butt dial him. You carefully set up your phone, ensuring it calls Oscar automatically. You place the phone on a table and begin your act, speaking loudly enough for him to hear clearly through the call. 

You make sure to put on a show, talking loudly enough that Oscar will definitely hear it. As soon as he picks up, you begin your “conversation.”

“Oh hey! So glad you called,” you start, making your voice bright and cheerful as if you’ve been waiting for this call. “I just have to tell you, last night was absolutely amazing!”

Oscar, on the other end of the call, answers with his usual calm demeanour. He sees your name on the screen and answers with a mix of curiosity and amusement. His face remains composed, but you can sense him starting to analyse the situation. He listens intently, trying to figure out what’s happening.

“I’m so glad we got to hang out. It’s not every day you meet someone who can keep me laughing like that,” you say, your tone warm and engaging. You emphasise the casual nature of the conversation, hoping to make your boyfriend think it’s a genuine chat.

Oscar’s gaze is fixed on the screen, his eyes narrowing slightly as he listens. He remains eerily quiet, giving you the sense that he’s deep in thought, piecing together the details of your conversation. His face is a mask of calm curiosity, but there’s a flicker of recognition in his eyes.

“Absolutely, we need to do it again soon. How about dinner tomorrow? I’ll text you the details,” you continue, maintaining the pretence. You keep your tone light and breezy, almost as if the conversation is too engaging for you to notice his reaction.

Oscar’s smirk starts to form, his mind piecing together the clues. He leans back slightly in his chair, his composure unshaken. He’s clearly caught on to the prank, but he maintains his cool, waiting for the right moment to reveal his awareness.

“I hope you’re done with your other conversation,” he finally says, his voice smooth and collected. “We can talk later when you’re free from your… other commitments.” His calm tone and subtle smirk indicate he’s caught on, but he’s letting you have your fun for now.

You immediatly start laughing, realising that Oscar has seen right through your prank. “I didn’t expect you to catch on so quickly!”

He chuckles, clearly enjoying the reveal. “I had a feeling something was off, your conversation was a bit too perfect.” He gives you a playful wink. “Nice try, though. I have to admit, you had me intrigued for a moment there.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” you say, still grinning. “I was hoping to give you a little challenge.”

He leans back in his chair, his smile broadening. “Challenge accepted. You managed to get a rise out of me, which is no easy feat. But now that I’m in on the joke, I’m planning my own comeback.” His tone is light-hearted but filled with a hint of mischief.

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” you say, still grinning. “I was hoping to give you a little challenge.”

His smirk widens into a charming grin. “Challenge accepted,” he replies, his eyes twinkling with playful mischief. “But since you managed to prank me, I think it’s only fair that I get to return the favour.”

You raise an eyebrow, intrigued by his confident tone. “Oh, really? And what do you have in mind for your comeback?”

Oscar leans in a bit closer, his gaze softening. “Let’s just say that next time we talk, I might have a surprise of my own for you. Something that’ll make your heart race in a way that’s far more thrilling than any prank.” He gives you a knowing look, his voice lowering to a teasing whisper. “I’m all about keeping things exciting.”

Your heart flutters at the flirtatious undertone in his voice. “Is that so? I’ll have to be extra vigilant then. I wouldn’t want you to catch me off guard again.”

His eyes sparkle with affection. “Oh, don’t worry. I love a good challenge, especially when it means I get to see that beautiful smile of yours when you’re surprised.” 

You blush a little at his words, “I might have to prank you every day if I get you this sweet after.”

“I’m alway sweet,” he teases, laughing at your flusteredness.

“Yeah, you are.”

“Anyway, are you getting home later today?” You ask, hoping to see your boyfriend after weeks of him being away.

“Yes, I’m aching to see you,” he confesses, smiling at you.

“Me too.” 

“See you then, my little prankster,” Oscar says with a laugh.

You roll your eyes at the nickname but you’re endeared by it all the same. “See you soon.”

[seancekitsch]

HOT TO GO: an Adrian Chase x Reader x Rick Flag fic

Rick knows he shouldn't shit where he eats. Rick knows Waller would demote him in a second if she knew he was letting you and your de facto guard dog have special privileges on this mission. Rick knows he shouldn't take you up on your offer to play a game.

Warnings: threesome smut, drinking, smoking, slight knife kink, rick is a good man, reader and adrian are nuts, villain!reader, non canon compliant i like to play god and make people kiss, this is filthy, dirty talk, task force x neck bomb jokes, slight daddy kink, spitting, choking, reader is a little mean, its not poly but its certainly something

You know exactly what the file in ARGUS says about you. A boring little dossier about the full extents of your powers, your record, all of your known aliases (even the embarrassing ones), your allies, and even the common ways you’ve tried to escape capture. Nothing in the little folder says anything about your observation skills. 

Nothing about how easily you pick up on phone conversations, how easily you commit to memory a glance of words on a screen over someone’s shoulder. Nothing about how you take in the tiny details, changes in expression or exactly how many things you can use in a room to kill someone in increasingly resourceful and creative ways. 

Thats how you figured out Rick Flag has a type; a type that you fit into well. You didn’t mean to overhear his phone call with Waller, but you would be using it to your advantage. 

You know about June Moone, about your dear friend Harley, and now his blue eyes settling on you as you try to get in and get out of this mission without fucking about too much. He likes his girls a little messed up. You figure trying to unseat Green Arrow as mayor through completely legal means and then forcibly reforming the prison system does it for him. It helps for you that he’s attractive; that means you don’t have to just use him, you can enjoy him too. Who knows, you might even get to know him enough to admire him as much as you admire the man who named himself your personal protector. 

Adrian Chase had apparently put himself into prison in order to talk to you, inspired by your idea of justice and progress or something. He offered protection and you’re not one to turn down a free advantage. You didn’t exactly expect to like him though, knowing the reputation he has and the awkward way he approached you at first. But Adrian was quick to win you over, and you'd spent countless nights talking to each other through the bars of your cells. You even one night tried to "go on a date" in the mess hall. His humor turns you on though, his protection lets you run your mouth without consequences. He's killed for you before, and you damn well know he'll do it again. Waller even seems to know you're a package deal, seeing as she let the two of you be on this mission together. You don’t say it, but you hope this mission gives both of you enough time off your sentences to get out around the same time. You’d love to hang out with him free, even if you refuse to say it. Belle Reve doesn’t exactly allow conjugal visits, though. 

You watch your peripherals, Adrian on one side sipping his Corona and keeping the men of Task Force X away from you, Rick on the other side with his eyes tracing your curves as you sway to the music. Adrian to the naked eye looks like he’s not paying attention to you, but that couldn’t be further from the truth. He sways awkwardly and scans the crowd, one eye always on you and his fingers every so often brushing against your leg. His way of checking in. Rick is more stiff, Rick is more obvious about watching you. You notice his fist clench when you brush your knuckles against Adrian’s arms. You notice how tight he holds his beer. You notice the fit of his pants. 

You catch on to the fact that Rick knows what Adrian is to you, because he only decides to make his move towards you when Adrian moves away to make two more drinks for you. 

You nod to the bar stool next to you, eyes not leaving the small crowd. Funny, you'd heard these missions are some kind of Suicide Squad, but here you were with the crew of sixteen still hanging on strong. 

“Great party, thanks for hosting,” you say, your voice dripping with sarcasm, although maybe you shouldn’t be too harsh on the guy. He’s not the guy that put a bomb in your neck.

“Sure,” he laughs, low and under his breath, and he clinks his beer bottle against your empty glass.

“Can I ask you something?” Rick slides up next to you at the bar, looking past you instead of at you. It’s clear he’s trying to sus out Vig, who is dancing back towards you with his two signature concoctions. You roll your eyes at the Colonel, but lean in anyway, pushing your chest closer.

“I don’t know why I’d talk to you, unless thats an order,” you snark at him, and maybe thats unfair, but it’s part of the game. 

“It’s not… don’t do that,”Rick dismisses your wide smile, the game of cat and mouse begun. You know exactly what he’s about to ask, but you have to make him work for it. 

“Why him?” he asks, eyes darting from you to the man behind you briefly. You smirk, of course he asks that. Probing, looking to see if he has a chance; thinking he’s being slick about it. Adrian turns back towards you as if summoned, his weird ability to just know making him come back as if the leash around his neck were tightened. He has another drink for you, pink and fizzy. 

You roll your eyes and grab the drink Adrian made for you from his hand, lifting it to your lips.

“Well, it was either him or Animal-Vegetable-Mineral Man,” you joke, voice deadpan as you punctuate your statement with a swig from the glass. You grimace. It’s almost all rum. Adrian is handsome but, my god, is he bad at ratios.

“Yeah…” Adrian joins the conversation eagerly, ready to agree with whatever you say before actually processing it. His eyes widen behind his thick glasses as he turns to fully look at you. He finally figured out what you were implying, and a smile slowly forms on your lips hidden by the rim of the glass.

“Wait really? But he’s got that, like, tree hand!”

You snort with laughter, and Rick cautiously laughs too. Like he’s in on the joke, you think. 

“It would be like that scene in Evil Dead, but consensual,” Adrian continues, his voice rising just like his concern. You roll your eyes at him, already expecting this reaction. Adrian talks big game about being unshakeable but you find it so easy to rile him up. 

“Calm down, Spaghetti Squash. You’re much sweeter than he is,” you pat Adrian’s cheek and he beams at you, wide mouthed and toothy and tipsy. You drag your hand slowly down his face, tracing his jaw before you let your hand fall back into your lap. 

“And Handsomer?” he fishes for the compliment, and you playfully frown at him. 

“You always ask questions you know the answer to,” you tease, and Adrian’s smile never fades. 

Rick must be feeling pretty voyeuristic right now, you think, watching two people who just plainly adore each other flirt and touch in front of him; but Rick also doesn’t flinch away from this, you notice. Maybe he likes watching. 

“He makes me laugh,” you answer your commanding officer, turning back to him finally.

“Is that a Who Framed Roger Rabbit quote?” He asks, brows furrowed, but a smirk on his face. Okay, play ball, Colonel Flag.

“See, Adrian? I told you Goody Two Shoes was a man of taste,” you glance up at Adrian again before focusing your attention back on Rick Flag. Zero in, Aim, Kill. 

“Is that how you see me?” he asks, a challenge. 

You tilt your head, a non-answer. Yes, kind of. He himself is good. Maybe too good. Thats probably why he does this silly little Icarus dance and gets too close to people who can and will burn him when they kiss. You glance down at his drink, then back at him and the light glistening of the residue of beer on his bottom lip, the way it shimmers in the light. 

Rick is handsome in a way Adrian isn’t. While Adrian is THE choice when it comes to general compatibility and attraction and survival, Rick is A choice. He’s serious, kind, and genuinely tries to see the good in everyone, even if there isn’t any to be found. He’s a gamble, mostly because he’s more willing to gamble. He would put his faith in you and hope you would be by his side even without a bomb in your neck. He’s built like Magic Mike. 

“Let Adrian make your next drink,” You tell him, lying, “He’s a master mixologist.”

Rick’s eyes move from you to your protector, whose gloved hand is now possessively on the back of your neck, right where the bomb was placed. 

“And why should I do that?” he counters. Adrian tenses. 

“Because maybe,” you grab Adrian’s hand and clasp it within yours, “We’ll let you keep drinking with us. You have my vote, you need to earn his.”

Rick laughs, and slumps back from you; his eyebrow twitches in curiosity. Hook, line, sinker. You squeeze Adrian’s hand. 

“And how would I do that?” Rick asks. 

You laugh as you take his free hand, leading both him and Adrian to another room. 

Rick doesn’t understand this game. 

All he knows is that he seems to lose every card he pulls, and at least half of the cards you pull. He went to college enough to know this is some deranged version of King’s Cup, but he doesn’t remember a rule that lets Adrian lick rum off of your chest or a rule that means you have to pop off a round when you pull the King. 

After his third seemingly bad card, he realized you were lying about the Vigilante’s mixing abilities. He’s a heavy pour with no eye for ratios, not unlike his heavy handed and uneven idea of justice. Rick figures thats why you and that maniac fit well, both twisted and curious and reckless in the same ways. It’s attractive in you though, as much as it is off-putting about Adrian. 

Ricks eyes follow Adrian’s tongue though, wet and flat and lavishing the liquor between your breasts, watching how he leaves goosebumps on your skin in his wake. He watches as Adrian shamelessly dips his face into the opening of your vest, realizing that he would push the younger man out of the way for his own turn if you gave him permission. Rick knows he shouldn't shit where he eats. Rick knows Waller would demote him in a second if she knew he was letting you and your de facto guard dog have special privileges on this mission. Rick knows he shouldn't have taken you up on your offer to play any game, let alone one involving alcohol.  

You seem to whisper something to Adrian, his rum soaked chin between your nimble fingers and he moves away to take his seat again. 

“My turn,” you smirk as you pull the next card from the deck, flipping it to show Rick instead of yourself. 

“Jack of Spades,” he tells you. Your eyes dart to Adrian before you smile at him. That can’t be good. 

“Never have I ever,” Adrian clarifies. Rick squints in confusion.

“I thought Jacks were categories,” he says, challenging the younger man. 

“Well now they’re not,” you chime in, something sweetly venomous in your tone, daring him to keep pressing the issue. Rick is a man that knows when to back down. 

He sighs as he puts up his hand, three fingers ready to go. You and Adrian both put up a hand as well, and you start as the card puller. 

“Never have I ever… fucked Harley Quinn,” you stare him down as you wiggle your fingers, a cheap shot at him. Rick will remember that. 

It’s his turn. 

“Never have I ever… been arrested,” Rick admits, and you narrow your eyes at him as you and Adrian both put down a finger. 

There’s a bit of pride in Rick’s posture as he settles in, all of you now on equal footing. 

“Never have I ever,” Adrian starts, then pauses, biting his tongue between his straight teeth, “Worked for a government that lies.”

It’s clear that was supposed to be a dig at Rick, competition between the two.

“Ade, baby, you’re doing that right now,” you whisper to him in a soothing voice, husky but gentle. His shoulders immediately drop in disappointment. 

“So you drink,” you tell him, nudging his hand holding the glass with your knuckle. He drinks, and puts another finger down, his admittance to defeat this round. 

“Okay, okay,” you draw the attention back to yourself, despite your eyes watching the way Adrian’s adams apple bobs as he swallows. 

“Never have I ever gotten a promotion.”

Again, Rick is the only one to put down a finger. Now he and Adrian have one finger up, and you still have your two. They’re on the same level, something they both have to be painfully aware of as you eye them up like you’ll catch and cook them. 

“Never have I ever gone to prom,” Rick offers quickly, shutting up any giggle that might be on your lips as you put a finger down, now tied with the men. 

“You poor things,” you muse, but Rick can tell you don’t mean it. There’s sarcasm on your tone that makes him think maybe the movie Carrie wasn’t too far off. 

“Never have I ever been an only child,” Adrian says, quickly, like hes trying to throw the whole game away. There’s something about how he shifts in his seat that looks like he’s starting to get antsy of it. 

Only you put your finger down. You’re out first, a fact that surprises you as much as it probably surprises the others as well.

“Shit,” you swear under your breath, and take a quick swig of your drink. 

“What do you want me to do?” you ask, refusing to look at either of them, your scowl settling into your features. Right, the loser has to do something for the winners.

Your file comes to mind for Rick, and your reactions to the failed mayoral race. 

Adrian wordlessly pulls you onto his lap, and your smile returns, if only briefly. 

“Dunno about Rick, but I want you right here,” Adrian tells you, resting his head on your shoulder. 

“Well, we can keep playing if you want,” Rick offers, “Y’know, we can all lose… learn a little bit more about each other.”

Anything so he doesn’t have to see that pout again. 

Fuck, Waller’s gonna skin him. 

You shrug, and he figures thats all he’s gonna get. 

“Never have I ever had a secret identity,” Rick offers, and Adrian happily puts his finger down. He’s out too. 

“Never have I ever,” you glance between the two men, and for the first time you look like you didn’t have one loaded in the barrel, “Had… a threesome.”

Rick’s eyebrows shoot up as he too puts a finger down, finally out as well. 

“No way, who?” Adrian asks, and this is maybe the first time Adrian has addressed him personally. 

“A good man doesn’t kiss and tell,” Rick replies.

“Boring,” Adrian says. 

And then he pulls a card, as if the air in the room had not just crackled with tension. 

Queen.

“So its questions?” Rick asks, hoping the rules haven’t changed again.

“Do you finally get it?” you reply, jumping right back into the game. 

“Why did it take you so long?” asks Adrian. 

“How was I supposed to know?”

“Aren’t you military trained?”

“Didn’t you say you knew we were crazy like an hour ago?”

“Hasn’t… ugh… shit,” Rick runs out of steam the questions firing too quickly. 

“Take your shirt off,” you don’t miss a beat, shrugging, “because you lost.”

If you had thought earlier that tonight would have gone as well this, you would have really thought you lost your mind. Adrian twitches, thrusting a little harder into you, an attempt at a poker face forced onto his face. Rick’s eyes trained on you, maybe the same way he trains his eye on a target. 

Rick leans back in his chair, in only his boxers, sweat coating his chest as he does nothing to hide the fact that he’s hard watching this display. 

Adrian lazily rolls his hips into you, your jacket partially obscuring what’s happening, but you know Rick isn’t stupid. He knows Adrian is fucking you, knows your skirt is pushed up in just the right way and your underwear pushed to the side. 

Adrian was barely subtle when he did it, rearranging you on his lap after the latest round of mini games had him losing his own gear and pants. You'd managed to be winning, your jacket and your skirt still on, your boots and vest tossed somewhere behind the chairs. He got handsy, big and warm and calloused against your skin. They traveled under your jacket, down your body, down your skirt. He hitched up. his knee, pushing you further back onto his lap, using his adjusting as an excuse to maneuver himself out of his boxers and under your skirt. You know you faltered, eyes fluttering as his length pushed against you, a shuddering gasp as you felt his hand pull your underwear to the side. 

Adrian, however, acted nonchalant. He joked and took swigs of his drink and talked with you and Rick as if he wasn't playing you like a fiddle, as if he was not positioning you to sit pretty on his cock. 

This is actually only the second time you’ve fucked Adrian. You don’t count hand stuff between the bars or weird touching in the mess hall when you have time out of your cell. You know his cock, but you’re still surprised at how amazing it feels when he fills you, sat on his lap and filled to the brim with him, the only movement his little thrusts pushing even deeper than you thought possible. 

Rick watches like a hawk, and you wink at him as he pulls another card. 

“Eight,” He reveals.

“Pick a date,” You explain.

He points at you, and you lean over to grab your drink. The change in angle makes you moan, and you do so shamelessly. 

“Ade, want me to grab one for you while I’m down here?” you ask, knowing another moan will escape you when you lean back again. 

“Fuckin… Yeah,” Adrian gasps. He’s so cute. 

You grab a card and pull yourself back up, attempting to bite back this moan. You fail as you lock eyes with Rick, something animalistic in his gaze. You shiver. Fuck. You want him too. You tear your eyes away from him to look at the playing card. 

“Ten,” you tell him. 

“Truth or dare! Alright!” Adrian is enthusiastic. 

“Okay, babe, truth or dare?” He asks you. 

“Truth,” you respond, deciding to play it safe at first. 

“Boring!” he exclaims, “ But, are you loving this right now?”

You nod, laughing as you lean into him. Again, Rick is a voyeur. 

“Rick,” you address him, still in Adrian world, still curled into him.

“Yeah?”

“You jealous?” You ask.

He’s silent for a moment, long enough for you to turn and look at him again, this time with hunger in your eyes. 

“Yeah, kinda.”

You laugh, a little too dark to be a giggle, a little too light to have malicious intent. 

“Truth or dare, Adrian?” Rick asks, which surprises you. 

“Truth,” he declares, and punctuates it by rolling his hips up into you again, dragging himself against you, and you bite your lip. A show. 

“Do you consider me a challenge?” he asks. Oh, it’s a dick measuring contest, you realize. 

He contemplates it, and then moves his hand to your face, his thumb on your lip. You open your mouth, taking the digit between your lips, sucking. 

“I don’t know how I could even think of you as a challenge. I mean…” He trails off, his index finger tapping your cheek. 

“Fair enough,” Rick concedes. 

“Truth or dare?” Adrian responds, to Rick, which surprises you. You look between the two men, stilling any motion, like the freeze frame before a fight. 

“Dare,” Rick all but snarls, clearly calling Adrian’s challenge. It's interesting, being fought over like this. People have fought over your resources, your power, your alliance, but never yourself. It's a bit of an ego trip, one that strokes you better than any cock could.

“I dare you to try and show her a better time than I could,” Adrian says, and then looks to you. 

His hips still as his eyes meet yours, a silent as if this is okay? You want this? And maybe, will you still pick me after all of this? His eyes are bright behind his glasses, not shying away from the fact that he’s watching you, his thumb still between your kiss swollen lips. You lead the charge, you let Adrian follow. Strangely loyal, awfully endearing. How is it that you spent your entire life in the Pacific Northwest without passing him earlier? 

You nod, giving him the okay, and take his hand into yours, pulling his thumb from your lips. You swivel your hips, quietly moaning as you resettle yourself in his lap, and let him press a possessive kiss on your neck.

“You sure?” you whisper to him, and he shrugs nonchalantly. Adrian doesn't really seem like the kind of guy that would be okay with this, but if he says so, you cannot deny it. 

Wordlessly, you motion for Rick to approach, and he crosses the room slowly. He gives you a show, his underwear leaving little to the imagination, the light layer of sweat making his muscles shine in the light. Rick smirks at you, easygoing despite how you can see his hand twitching. Is he sure he’s had a threesome before?

You lick your lips as he stops in front of you, and Adrian grabs for your jacket. You stare up at Rick expectantly as Adrian pulls the leather down your arms, baring your chest to the Colonel. His eyes travel down your body shamelessly, committing your body to memory, painting your portrait in his mind.

“So how should we…?” he trails off, not sure how to proceed. Adrian makes a decision for him, though, and puts his hands firmly on your hips. You’re not going anywhere, especially as he fucks up into you, the chair below him creaking. He snaps his hips to claim his place and also yours. You’re not going to fucking move. You gasp, hand reaching back to steady yourself against his firm chest, fingers flexing against his muscles. This doesn't deter Rick, however, who takes another step towards you, stopping just in front of your knees.

“Well?” you ask, expectantly, and his smirk turns into a smile as he huffs out a small laugh. Rick unceremoniously yanks down his boxers, already leaving little to the imagination but still you cannot hide the shock in your eyes when you finally see his cock. 

Rick’s cock is long, handsome as he is, and a delicious shade of pink. You reach out, fingers curling around the base of his cock as you smile up at him. If Rick didn't know better, he’d think you were an angel. Good thing he knows better.

You pump his cock at the same rythm Adrian fucks you, his thrusts and your fist moving in tandem. You’re mesmerized by the way Rick’s brows scrunch up, as if you've unlocked his kryptonite, attention being the thing to break through his attempted cool exterior. Its beautiful. He’s beautiful.

You laugh, lips breaking into a smile, and you bend forward, Adrians grip on your hips changing his angle inside you shifting. He groans behind you appreciatively, and one of his hands gives your ass a slap. Rick flexes, and rolls his shoulders back.

“Do you like that?” you ask him, your voice a seductive whisper. You don't slow your rhythm, you don't look away; Adrian doesnt slow his rhythm, Rick doesnt look away.

“I like you,” Rick responds, just as flirty. You laugh, breathy and light, never breaking eye contact with your commanding officer. You roll your hips, feeling Adrian’s hands tightening on you. 

“Of course you do,” you say with a roll of your eyes, finally breaking the contact. Your hand moves slowly, concentrating on running your thumb up and down the vein on the underside of his cock.

“Want some more?” he asks, stepping between yours and Adrian’s legs, his hand coming up to cup your jaw. 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” you hear from behind you, Adrian cursing as his hands loosen their grip on your hips. 

You sigh, you should have known this would happen. Adrian doesnt seem like the sharing type, even if Rick is. You release your grip on Rick’s cock, leaning away until you back touches Adrian’s chest. You look up at him, and he doesn't look at you. 

“Adrian?” you coo, voice venomously sweet. 

He grunts.

“Adrian?” you call to him again, voice like a song as you reach up and run a finger along his jawline. 

“What?” he practically spits the word.

“Honey, where is your cock right now?” you ask him gently as if you don’t both know, continuing to run your finger along his jawline, a comforting gesture. 

Finally, Adrian leans into your touch, and his arms wrap around your waist. One hand dips down, and he teases your clit. You gasp, moan turning into a giggle. 

“In this sweet pussy,” he answers. 

“Uh huh, so let Rick play a little. His presence here is an unethical power imbalance and I think he knows that. He’s gonna play nice with me,” you tell him, scrunching your nose at him cutely. You turn your attention back to Rick, raising an eyebrow to silently ask him if he agrees. He smiles slowly, and you reach out for him again.

Rick guides your hand back to his cock, letting you grasp him once more. 

Your teamwork resumes: Adrian You Rick, Adrian You Rick. Adrian setting the speed, the pace, leaning back in the chair for leverage to fuck up into you. Grunt, moan, gasp. Groan, gasp, moan. For the first time since the game started, you can actually hear the music floating through the air from the little radio. Some crooner sets the background for this devil’s threesome unfolding. 

You speed up your movements, breaking the rhythm, and Rick inhales sharply between his teeth, a loud and discordant noise that seems to break the spell. Adrian’s hands seize your hips roughly again, seeking to possess you. 

Fuck.

“Listen, Man,” Rick addresses Adrian awkwardly, his jaw twitching as you speed up your movements even more, your wrist working him over. 

“What, man?” Adrian asks, petulant and sarcastic. You didn't know he knew how to do that. He’s full of surprises, you think. 

“Don't you think I know what's happening here?”

Okay, that makes you pause. Maybe Rick is more perceptive than you originally thought. 

“Your girl here is trying to honey pot me,” he explains, his hand reaching down to adjust your grasp on him, tighter, “Am I right?”

You nod up at him, nervous for once. 

“She figures if she shows me a good time I’ll pull some strings to give you time enough off your sentences so you can be released together,” he explains, and Adrian’s grip on you softens, only to have his rough hand run up and down your side. 

“Are you gonna?” Adrian asks, his desire to be out with you overtaking his desire to comment on an unethical exchange of sexual favors. 

Rick only shrugs.

“Why not?”

That seems to be the only answer both men need, and you breathe a sigh of relief you didn't know you were holding. 

Adrian’s hand dips forward again to find your clit, and your next breath is a shuddering gasp. 

“You wanna be a honey pot?” he asks you, his pressure on your clit increasing, almost painfully. You nod, a needy whine escaping your lips. 

“Then show Colonel Flag how sweet you are,” he commands you, his lips now against the shell of your ear. He speeds up his fingers, panting into your ear as he shallowly thrusts into you, your bodies flush. You feel helpless, a moaning mess losing yourself to your own pleasure, almost embarrassingly so. Your head rolls back onto Adrian’s shoulder, and your over kissed lips part into a dazed smile. You meet Rick’s eyes as Adrian’s movements start to make your body jolt and shake. Your orgasm, rapidly approaching, evident to everyone. 

“C’mon baby,” Adrian encourages you, his fingers digging into your thigh, holding you open as he continues his onslaught, pleasure and pain now one in the same, white heat beginning to seep into the corners of your vision.

Until the dam breaks. Adrian holds you in place, only slowing down to give you slight mercy. Rick watches intensely, his eyes never leaving your face, even as your eyes roll back and your mouth opens in a silent scream, your body wracked with tremors as your orgasm hits you like a flooding storm. Adrian holds you tightly through it all, bringing you back to earth slowly. Your chest heaves, and your eyes meet Rick’s again. 

Sweet enough? You silently ask him, and he smiles, understanding fully. Adrian seems to understand too, as he pulls you up off his lap, hissing at the air hitting his cock, cold compared to the heat of your cunt.

You stand unsteadily, almost dizzy as you use your legs for the first time in over an hour. Rick reaches out for you, pulling you into his arms as you steady yourself, his warmth radiating over you.

“Wanna lay down?” he asks, as if he already knows what you want. Yes, yes of course you do, you nod your head and he leads you over to the little table, pushing all of the discarded deck onto the floor as he gently lays you down. Adrian gets up and joins Rick, standing on the opposite end of the table. You lay back, face to face with Adrian as your spine flattens out against the formica. He smiles at you sweetly, and you return it, before he winks. As if you read his mind, you open your mouth for him, and he leans down and spits between your lips. You smile up at him, eyes full of nothing but adoration. 

“You want my mouth?” you ask him, and he shakes his head no. Rick the voyeur switches places with him, rounding the table until he’s standing next to your head. 

“Stay still,” Rick warns you, his hands gently tilting your head back to lean off the edge of the table. 

“Yes, Daddy,” you obey.

“Don’t,” Rick pauses, grimaces, blushes red as a tomato, “Don’t say that.”

You immediately tilt your head back up, looking for Adrian with wild amusement painted on your features. 

“Did you hear that?” you giggle, snapping your fingers at Adrian from his spot between your legs. He laughs along with you, pointing at Rick, who rolls his eyes. 

“Colonel’s got a Daddy kink!” you laugh, only stopped when Rick pulls your back down, bringing your attention back on him to shut you up.

“You want a taste?” he asks, grasping his cock by the base, and stepping closer to your bruised lips.

You nod, eagerly. The tip of his cock touches your lips, and you gladly part them to let Rick push his cock between them. You push your tongue out to taste him, salty and hot against you, your tongue massaging him as you take him fully into your mouth. Fuck, he feels good in your mouth, just as good as you thought he would. He pushes slowly, whether hes testing the waters or afraid to hurt you, you arent sure. But you want more, no, need it even. He takes a few more shallow thrusts, slow and even and safe.

We can’t have that, now can we?

You grab his hips, thumbs dipping right against his v-line as you pull him closer to you, taking him as deep as you can. Rick gasps, then groans in surprise, his voice strained as he gets used to the sensation of his cock down your throat. 

Adrian, not one to be outdone, only watches the show for a moment before focusing his attention back to your cunt. Which, in his opinion, is only too clothed. 

Adrian pushes your skirt up around your waist, bunching the fabric up ungracefully. His fingers rake down the front of your underwear, wet and twisted and useless now that Adrian had already made a previous mess of them. Impatient to a fault, repositioning you to pull them off smoothly would take too long. 

Your focus is pulled from the heat of Rick’s cock by cool steel against your hip, and without pulling yourself off of Rick you hum, trying to get attention as you ask what the fuck is going on. Rick reaches down to rub his thumb along your chin in comfort.

“Adrian’s got a knife,” Rick explains, and as you feel the elastic of your underwear break, you relax once more. You had told Adrian one night in your cell that you wanted him to do that to you once he got his knives back. He’s a good listener.

 You swivel your tongue along Rick’s cock, the hot velvet soft skin and salty sweat. You hollow out your cheeks, pride blooming in your chest as the commanding officer groans like a much more desperate man.

Adrian’s cock once again presses against your entrance, a key into a lock, and he sinks into you slowly, a loud and blissful moan spilling from his lips. You can only imagine the smile on his face. The same smooth drag, the fullness of him returns to you, and you moan around Rick’s shaft. You feel the shiver up his spine from here. He likes that, you notice, and file it away in your mind to use against him. 

Adrian is not slow and gentle for long, though, quickly picking up speed now that he has the freedom to have you spead out below him like this. 

His hips slamming into you shakes the table, rocking your mouth farther onto Rick’s cock. You gag, sharply inhaling through your nose to try to keep control. You reach out to him, your fingers wrapping around his forearms to stabalize you, so that maybe next time Adrian decides to be rough it wont end with Rick bruising your vocal cords. Rick moves his hands, gripping the edge of the table to keep you in place. Adrian hammers into you, fucking you onto Rick, once again a tandem rhythm between the three of you.

“Jesus, Colonel, is that your dick?” you hear Adrian ask as he presses your thighs farther apart.

“Yep,” You hear Rick confirm, his hand coming off the edge of table to brush his fingertips across your neck, “Pretty little throat your girl’s got.”

“Don’t I know it?” Adrian asks, and that effectively ends their conversation again. You’re glad 

theyre starting to get along. You feel Adrian’s hands running up and down your thighs, massaging his thumbs into the muscles, but you can only be so pliant beneath him when tension builds and pools in your stomach, threatening to bring you over the edge again. 

You try to focus on one or the other. Try to focus on keeping your cheeks hollow and your tongue moving for Rick. Try to focus on not coming again on Adrian’s cock while he teases and manipulates your body. You feel like you're failing though, and falling all the same, your muscles feel weak against both of them, hard and strong, your body filled with white-hot heat like molten lava.

Adrian breaks your thoughts by yanking both of your legs together, your knees knocking together roughly. Heat turning supernova, you moan loud around Rick’s cock, and he himself moans in response. 

“That gonna get you to come for me again?” Adrian asks, laughter in his voice as he places both of your ankles on one shoulder, hugging your legs to his chest. The angle is… divine. Your eyes screw shut tightly, stars bursting behind your eyelids. He’s such a little shit.

You hum affirmatively again around Rick’s cock, and his hips stutter against your face, knocking into your chin.

“Fuck, Doll, you gotta stop doing that,” he sighs, but you can barely hear him. No, you’re focusing to holding onto your sanity. Everything feels so so so much, everything is Adrian and Rick, Adrian and Rick, and you melting between them. Fuckfuckfuckfuck. 

A strangled cry fights its way from your mouth, and a cord snaps within you. You shudder, and Adrian leans down to pin you down even further, slowing down this time to give you a little mercy. He is sweet. He works you through your orgasm slowly, gently pulling it from you, gently letting you back down to earth, gently letting the pleasure crash over you in waves. He thrusts slowly, dragging himself from you before every slow thrust in, taking you apart and putting you back together. You float back down into yourself slowly, held by both of them. Adrian pressed against you and Rick now running his fingers through your hair. 

Rick pulls out slowly, his hand wrapped around the base of his cock, and finally you can swallow properly, your sore jaw slack and tired. Adrian presses a kiss to the back of your knee, pulling out as well. You groan at the loss of him, at the heat leaving your body. Then again, at the feeling of goosebumps covering your skin. He lets your legs down gently, your heels coming to rest on the edge of the table as he holds you lazily. 

Rick leans down, eyes dark and lustful, handsome and fully focused on you. He is dangerous. 

“Can I have that honey pot, gorgeous?” Rick asks you, face close enough to kiss. You lean up, craning your neck to do just that. He tastes like rum and vanilla, sickeningly sweet. Your hand reaches up to pull him even closer, your nails raking through his soft hair. Rick’s hand quickly finds your chest, his thumb brushing over your nipple. What a tease, you think. 

He parts his lips from you slowly, eyes staying closed as if savoring the moment to commit to memory. 

“You can have whatever you want,” you whisper, and Rick seems to preen at that. He stands tall again and moves to take Adrian’s place. Adrian doesn't budge though. 

“You gonna…?” Rick trails off, holding out his hand to gesture Adrian to the side. Adrian still doesn't budge, his feet planted to the floor. You roll your eyes, bored of the competition. Men. 

“I think I’m good here,” Adrian shrugs, his fingers idly running up and down the side of your leg.

“Don’t act like she’s not the one that holds your leash, Vig,” Rick shoots back, pointing out a truth, “Everyone sees how you protect her. She's a big girl.”

Adrian visibly deflates, his shoulders drooping. If you didn’t know better, you would think Rick’s gaze is softening in guilt. But you do know better. 

“Don’t worry, babe, you’re the only one that gets to come inside,” you stage whisper to him, looking at Rick the whole time. He gets it and nods instantly in reassurance.

“Better be,” Adrian pouts, “And maybe he should only get you from behind.”

It’s a little petty on Adrian’s part, but you have a bond. The Colonel is an interloper at the end of the night, and Adrian’s comfort is important. 

“I can work with that,” Rick pipes up, slapping a reassuring hand on the younger man’s shoulder, which surprisingly is not shrugged off. Adrian even looks a little surprised at the turn of events, as if he’s used to others making him put up more of a fight to get what he wants.

You turn yourself over, ignoring the ache in your core, dropping onto your feet off the edge of the table to bend over. The cool air hits you, and finally you realize just how wet you are. Fuck. 

Adrian is reluctant as he moves in front of you, but he seems thankful of the shitty table, and the ability to kiss you before he grabs your head to lower it on his shaft. He kisses you softly, holding both sides of your face in his big hands. You press your lips to his eagerly, a salve to whatever hurt his ego feels in this whole situation. You know you’ll hear an earful when you go to sleep next to him later, but you don’t mind. Not when he looks like that.

You’re broken from your thoughts by the feeling of another pair of rough hands; this time finding purchase on your hips. Adrian breaks the kiss somewhat reluctantly, licking the seam of your lips before he pulls away. 

You smile up at him again, and he grabs his shaft, pumping from the base to the tip twice. Like a fucking pornstar. 

“Open up?” he asks, and you oblige, dramatically parting your lips and sticking your tongue out for show. His nose scrunches, his glasses fogging slightly as he laughs through his nose, and he inches closer to you, teasing you with the tip just out of reach. You pout, and then smile as he gives in, resting the fat head of his cock against your tongue.

Rick’s cock brushes against your entrance, only for a moment, and then he pushes his entire length into you with one thrust, filling you entirely. 

You moan, loud and wanton, pushed further onto Adrian’s shaft as well. Both of them fill you, completely.

Rick lingers, savoring the feeling of being fully inside you, holding your hips and your bodies flush together. He pulls himself out again slowly, almost completely, dragging against you, friction that makes you whine, open mouthed and loud around Adrian’s shaft, and his grip on your head only becomes tighter. Rick takes the opportunity to land a hard smack against your ass, hard enough to bruise. Hard enough to make his mark on you the way that Adrian has, hard enough to lay claim to you.

He then begins thrusting in earnest; long, savoring strokes you're sure he will remember later, fucking his fist in the shower. 

The edge of the table digs into the flesh of your thighs, you can imagine the indents they'll leave, a sweet reminder as you're sure it'll be sore to walk tomorrow. He presses into you deep, each thrust harder than the last, each thrust earning him a moan.

You push back against him, arching your back into each of his movements. Adrian moves differently, barely thrusting his hips, small movements while he keeps himself deep in your mouth, his tip kissing the back of your throat with every little push of his hips. 

The room fills with moans, all three of you together harmoniously, hitting your stride. 

“Fucking amazing,” Rick sighs, beginning to speed up his thrusts, his hip bones bumping against your ass.

“Right?” Adrian agrees, his thumb swiping against your cheek. Wet, like the rest of you.

“You’re a lucky man, Vigilante.”

And without warning Rick changes his angle, hips now connecting with the bottom of your ass, and you nearly scream. This new angle… this is… excruciating pleasure. 

He reaches a part of you that your hadn't already known, the tip of his cock brushing against a spot that makes your vision blur. He hits it over and over, your eyes rolling back into your head as your orgasm rushes almost embarrassingly.

You feel yourself tightening around him, feel all of your muscles seizing. You try as hard as you can to keep your jaw where it is for Adrian despite the fact that Rick has the rest of your body curling in on itself.

He speeds up, continuing to hit that spot, hit that place in you. Your toes curl, and you lose your composure quickly, now moaning every time he fills you to the hilt. 

You moan on Adrian’s cock, your throat vibrating around his cock, and at some point he just stops thrusting, enjoying the feeling of you on him in your current state too much.

Rick keeps thrusting, your back arching to the point where your body almost comes off the table, your hips rising almost uncomfortably to meet the angle he has set to make you come beneath him, and expertly so. You're barrelling towards that high, bracing yourself to let yourself go, to go limp around Rick Flag, to show him…

“Fuck,” Rick curses, pulling out harshly. He taps the tip of his cock against your ass a few times, and then sighs deeply.

“You are something else,” he laughs, his free hand running down your hip. Adrian takes this as his cue, and pulls himself out of your mouth too. Unlike with Rick, you whine at the loss of Adrian. You look up at him through your lashes, his smile cocky and excited. 

“You wanna finish the job?” you ask your protector, and he nods eagerly, the smile never slipping.

You turn your attention back to the older man. 

“It’s okay, Colonel,” you coo, your voice once again sweet with that venom, taunting, “You can have my mouth again.”

Rick isn’t going to think twice about it, and he switches places with Adrian to stand in front of you again, gathering your hair in his fist. You lock eyes with him as your tongue darts out of your mouth, a gentle lick to the head of his cock. He shudders, clearly ready. Well, you’re not one to waste time. You pull him in closer by the hips, taking his length back into your mouth. 

He groans appreciatively when the back of your throat meets the tip of his cock again, kissing it. Quick, shallow thrusts this time, less about exploring you and more about an eagerness to meet his end, and to watch you meet your end once again. He holds your head still, fucking your mouth, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have cards to deal as well. 

You swivel your tongue along the vein on the underside of his shaft, mapping it like hills and valleys. 

He’s quick, head thrown back in pleasure and chest heaving. Adrian is not one to be outdone though, and enters you equally as quickly, no show or frills or gentleness this time. He enters you as a means to an end as well.

Both men thrust into you hungrily, chasing a high only given by you. Adrian reaches down, bending his body over you until his fingers reach your clit again, moving with a pace and desperation to make you scream around Rick’s cock. His arm will probably be as bruised as your thighs will be tomorrow morning, but it’s clear he doesn’t care, hammering into you again. 

The tension you felt under Rick comes back almost immediately, your body tensing and curling for Adrian now as he puts himself deep inside you. Rick has to almost work against Adrian, his own thrusts having to fit in the waves and crashes of Adrian’s hips.

Adrian works you over, your body constricting and tensing under Adrian’s generous moans, watches you as you start to lose it.

“That's it babe, show the Colonel how good you are,” Adrian encourages, the pressure of his finger on your clit now almost violent, knowing how ready you are.

“Let go,” Adrian urges, his voice so low and wanting. Instead of you, its Rick that lets go, filling your throat with his release, salty and hot, but easy to swallow. He tastes good, not too much not too little. You swallow him down eagerly, making eye contact the entire time, and you're almost sure he sheds a tear. 

It's seconds later that Adrian makes you come again. 

You shudder, hard and unsexy under him, and entire loss of control, but you hide none of it from Rick. He knows you, or at least he should. Adrian comes shortly after, his release with a groan, and the two of you sink to the floor as a unit, connected, held together. Adrian keeps you close.

Your head shoots up from Rick’s shoulder as if you’ve been burned, your eyes wide as you turn your face towards the pile of his clothes. The Colonel unravels himself from you and the Vigilante, a pile of limbs doused in sweat and spit and salt. His phone vibrates; the case clattering against his belt buckle, the screen a bright intrusion to the dim lights, reflecting off of the rum bottles like christmas lights. Rick stumbles towards it, pulled by duty. Adrian pulls at you by the handful, fully enveloping you in his embrace. One so new and yet already so comforting. You picked right when you set your sights on him. 

Rick bends down to pick up his phone, showing you a great view of that ass of his. You rake your fingernails over Adrian’s bicep, tracing the scar tissue lines across soft freckled skin while you watch what the other man does. 

Rick’s screen illuminates a grimace on his face. Your brows furrow in confusion, and then realization.

“Waller?” you ask, voice partially muffled by how Adrian has himself wrapped around you.

“Yup,” Rick confirms, knowing he’s probably a dead man. 

You and Adrian burst into laughter.

He’s so fucking dead. 

Rick slips on his underwear and leaves the room to take the call. 

[redflagshipwriter]

Nest Swap 4 progress

Now with 200% more bat!

masterpost

“Alright, have a good day.” Tim handed the clipboard back to a stone-faced delivery guy and took the package from Miss Fox back to his technology lair. He got a glass of water on the way down and then went about reproducing the experiment that Tam asked for.

She wouldn't give him details. But from the instructions and reported results, Tim was pretty sure that some employee had misrepresented their process. To what end, he didn't know. He was just the science guy, not a detective guy.

Although if he had to guess he'd say that they had switched out a needed chemical to hide that the supply was lower than recorded.

But whatever. That wasn't his business.

Tim happily went about science, recreating a corrosive liquid that would supposedly eat through reinforced metal. He had to make the Wayne tech protective coating for the metal as well to do the experiment properly. When he finished that he carefully dipped metal sheets in it and set them to drip dry. Then he turned back to the acid project.

Supposedly, the acid had been a failure. Tim thought it should work. Apparently Tam did, too.

The screens around the room all went black. He wasn't even using them but it was a hard thing to miss in your peripheral vision.

Tim groaned. “What now?” He asked the room. He clanged a piece of metal to the tabletop. “I am trying to finish this.”

Had he tripped some kind of security protection? Maybe they had all gone to sleep without getting a password at spaced intervals?

To be perfectly clear, Tim did not expect any kind of response.

Therefore he was startled halfway out of his skin when a female laugh came barrelling out of the speakers of the largest mounted screen.

He crossed his arms in a sulk.

“Tim?” She asked, after she caught her breath. “You're tiny.”

His face was catastrophically cranky: he could see it reflected back in the black screen. It was a perfect replica of Janet Drake discovering after she had formatted her latest paper in Chicago Style that the publication required the savagery of MLA formatting.

She laughed again. It ended with a hiccup.

‘Whoever this is, she can see me. She must be someone who knows me if I gave her that kind of access.’

“I'm not sure we're friends,” Tim announced, because it was time to face the facts: these people all knew a version of him, and that Tim was bigger. At least like, three inches. “I'm aware that I am small. I am working on it.” He glowered at the computer she seemed to be using.

It would take what, two years top for a major growth spurt? They could just chew bubblegum until then.

“Is that what you're doing now?”

Tim sighed. “No, I'm doing something for Tam,” he admitted. He scrubbed at his face with a hand. “Probably a good time for a break.” He started to tidy up.

“Yeah, so, I guess I can tell Dick that you haven't been kidnapped by lions or whatever it is he's talking about,” the lady said. The line turned to static for a second, then back just as quickly. “You, uh, need some help?”

“Absolutely not.” Tim shook his head in a sharp, decisive Jack Drake movement. “I don't need to be babied.”

“...I can see why you think you're in danger of it.” She snorted again. “Unblock Dick, please, he's got delicate feelings and I think we both have plans for tonight that don't involve him scaling your walls to find a way in.”

“....I'll unblock him,” Tim took the L gracefully. “I appreciate your silence on this matter.”

She snorted again. “Sorry.” She didn't sound very sorry. “It's just- your little businessman voice is so funny. I'm sorry, Tim.”

He looked up at the ceiling for patience.

“Oracle out.”

All the screens returned to normal. Tim let out a big long sigh and went back upstairs, taking his empty water class with him. At least he had a name, right? Oracle. He'd gotten a call from Oracle.

He mentally arranged the facts as he trudged up the stairs.

Fact one: he had replaced a Tim, who was Tim Drake-Wayne. (Upsetting information).

Drake-Wayne had to be fundamentally the same Tim as he was, given that both Tam and Oracle had immediately recognized him.

Fact two: Tim D-W was a vigilante.

Fact three: That was really cool.

Tim reached the top and made a mental note to enroll in some martial arts classes when he got back home. If he had potential to fight crime, of course he was going to do that. He unblocked Dick: oh no, Dick Wayne. He'd blocked Robin. He felt mortified. It was so obvious in retrospect. He put the phone down on the table, stomach twisting in social agony.

The phone immediately lit up with messages.

Well. Robin should be less annoying, if he didn't wanna get blocked.

He clambered onto the counter to search through for anything that would make a good lunch.

“... I'm terrible,” Tim complained. He stuck his head fully into the cupboard as if there might be something good at the back. “This sucks!”

Alright. Something had to be done. Tim decisively climbed down, using an open drawer as a step. He shut it with his heels and then went in search of a wallet. He needed a credit card and to find a delivery service.

He was going to act on faith that big Tim D-W wasn't going to ruin his life, even though he was a loser. Tim was doing a great job keeping Tim D-W’s life afloat. That merited some payment.

He converted that payment into a huge order to a grocery delivery service. He referenced Tam’s package to get the address.

The order was simple: fruits, breakfast meat, lots of bakery bread, and sandwich fillings. He was going to have tuna salad with cucumber and lettuce. He was going to learn to make egg salad. Optimistically, he even added melty cheese to the order and a can of tomato soup mix: grilled cheese couldn't be that hard, right?

He rounded off the order with lots of individually packaged drinks: milk and juice boxes, cans of grape Zesti, and hot cocoa powder.

"…This is so exciting,” Tim said to his empty apartment. His. In a very real and meaningful way, it was his apartment. He was totally unsupervised. Neat!

The phone buzzed again. When he picked it up it said “Jason.”

Tim blue screened. Tim dropped the credit card with a clatter. It disappeared under the table and he didn't even think to look for it.

Jason. Omigod, Jason. Jason was a person who existed. He'd forgotten.

All the pieces came together in a beautiful flash of light. He wasn't in a troubled huge age-difference relationship with Bruce (21 year difference) or Dick (9 year difference) . He'd gotten married to Jason Wayne, the kid that Bruce had brought home like a day ago according to the Gotham Gazette. (3 year difference: normal.)

The phone was still ringing. Tim picked it up with numb fingers. “Hello?”

“Hey, Timbers,” said a male voice. It was low, rough, and impatient. “You freaked Dickiebird out and he's been squawking at me all day. Tell me how many pieces you're in.”

Tim looked down at his body. “Just the one,” he said, voice coming out breathy. It felt like his being was floating outside his body. Wow. This was his boy- no, husband? Holy moly. He couldn't cope with that, he had to stick with boyfriend. He bit his lip. He had to make a good impression.

“...You sound about 10 years old there,” Jason said. He didn't hide his amusement. “You been huffing helium, babybird?”

Tim went bright red at the pet name. Painfully red. His face was on fire.

Jason took his silence as a response. “Alright, alright, keep your clothes on. You must be sick as fuck, poor thing. No wonder you didn't come out to play last night.”

Tim slapped his hands on his face and tried not to hyperventilate.

“I wasn't calling for Dick, don't get it twisted.” Jason cleared his throat, tone a little odd. “I picked up on something - I think one of my ongoing cases dips into your patrol area. You gonna come out on patrol tonight?”

“...No,” Tim said. There was no way that would go well. He didn't know martial arts yet.

Jason cursed, but he didn't sound mad about it. “Fair enough,” he muttered. “Uh, think you could do some surveillance for me?”

Tim nodded. Then he felt dumb and cleared his throat. “Yeah.”

…He felt even dumber. What should he say? This was his boyfriend. The stakes were so high. He had never wanted anyone to like him more.

Jason rattled off an address. It, like everything Jason had said, was going to live inside Tim’s head forever in perfect clarity. “Thanks,” he added after, a bit begrudgingly. “This guy's real fucking sick, been making human sausage.”

Tim… wasn't sure exactly what that meant, but it sounded really bad. “I'll do my best,” he promised.

“Yeah…” Jason trailed off. “Maybe you should take a nap, some meds. That's a terrible hoarse throat. Don't kick your own ass on my account, okay?”

“Okay,” Tim helplessly echoed, and hung up. He sat in silence for a solid minute afterwards.

[ellielatinagf]

Ellie Williams in Covid head cannons

Sooooo this is just a small idea I had because I’ve never seen anyone else do this soooooooo. Our poor girly in yet another epidemic. Love you all!

Warnings: a tiny bit nsfw content, cursing, for the girls only pleaseee, lmk if there’s anything else

Was absolutely thrilled when everyone was advised to stay inside because she’s such an antisocial loser untilllllll she saw how everyone was rapidly spreading the disease. She’s low key a germaphobe.

Totally had a YouTube channel which consisted of her recording herself doing nothing but laying on the couch with you watching tv. Her only subscribers were Jesse, Joel, and Dina and some rando from Tennessee.

She found a new obsession every week and now the garage is filled with boxes of old paintings, crochet chickens, and diy art stuff.

Had ranked every Ramen noodle flavor from best to worst

Absolutely freaked OUT when you got Covid from your job and she ended up sleeping over at Joel’s. She actually refused to come back untill you showed her how you deep cleaned the whole house.

Ellie on FaceTime

Ellie: wait babe lemme see right there on the dresser

You: Ellie I literally wiped it down twice

Ellie: well I didn’t see it

Tried to make cookies one time and thought they were perfect and crispy around the edges. They really tasted like chips and she got mad when you laughed and claimed you never take her seriously.

Okay I’m sorry but she was a horny monster like cmon she was in the house all day with you like how can she not.

Had an obsession with the Big Bang theory and made you watch it with her and explained all the science stuff which she knew for the most part. On the ones she didn’t know she’d yap about it till you looked it up and she’d gaslight you into thinking she was right.

You: “Umm babe google says……”

Ellie: “that’s literally what I was saying”

She was at Joel’s house one time helping him make more guitars. She accidentally cut herself and when you demanded she go to the hospital which she was terrified of because of all the Covid patients getting her sick she went like this

“Hold on babe i watched greys anatomy”

Fell victim to the meme pages all in her camera roll that were like this

Hated zoom meetings but she’d be the type to hold her phone on the screen and watch those Roblox Tik toks.

I know i already said she was a fortnite god but that girl watched every single fortnite concert at the time and made sure you were right there with her and she made sure to clip the whole thing even though when watching the clip back her and Jesse were yelling their asses off. She loved season three of fortnite.

Ellie: “ HURRY UP BABE TRAVIS SCOTT IS GONNA PREFORM OH MY GOD JESSE WHERE ARE YOU!!!”

Ellie hated when people overstocked at the grocery store meanwhile she did the exact same thing because she was paranoid and it came in hand since you guys wouldn’t need to go grocery shopping for at least a week and a half

Ellie also discovered games with an emotional storyline like Detroit becomes human, red dead redemption, resident evil, ect. And had a phase where she’d be all poetic and shit thinking she was Shakespeare, she got tired of talking like she was from the 1800s.

Ellie: “my love, your eyes, they remind me of a thousand sunsets…”

You: “did you take out the trash?”

She had all her favorite YouTubers and would watch them on the tv and she’d make you play among us with her because that was “the game of century” as she proclaimed.

She actually had a small mini breakdown because our poor girl found out Joel had Covid and remember that in the news it said older people were more at risk. The poor girl though Joel was gonna die and you laid in bed with Ellie who was sniffling and crying in your shirt while you rubbed her back. Those always calm her down. Then when Joel was better again she made you pinky promise not to tell anyone anything. But she did end up calling Joel more frequently.

You guys actually had spent a lot of time together and most couples who spent so much time together broke up and got bored and such and such but you two actually enjoyed you time together. You and Ellie would would go to an open park where no one was around and watch the sunset and talk about what your plans were after everything was back to normal. Ellie asked if you two could get a puppy and who can ever say no to those eyes and freckles cheeks?

Another thing you guys liked to do was spent all day in bed and cuddling. Now a lot of people will assume Ellie would be the big spoon and that can be true sometimes but the girl is a hugeeeeeee softie. She loved being the little spoon because she felt safe by feeling your soft breath ok her back or shoulder. And she’s hold a dinosaur plushie. Like always.

She cried when she watched videos of family’s finally being able to reunite or grandparents watching their families through a class. Who didn’t cry?

She loved playing just dance with you and she’d purposely pick a song where you both had to dance together because she never has the balls to ask you to dance to with her.

She had a little camcorder where she recorded almost everything in your lives at that point. You brushing your teeth, both of you eating cereal, having tickle fights, ect. What Ellie doesn’t know is that now you sometimes go to the camcorder and watch the old videos and she’d a tear here and there because you loved the memories.

Some how she was actually a beast at the toilet paper kick up challenge and got a good 14 kick ups.

You cannot tell me she didn’t buy those apple juices that actually founded like apples when you bit into them.

I lowkey just had an idea of what Ellie would be like at this time sooooo lmk what other hcs you guys might want! Also be sure to let me know if you’d like to be in the Taglists! Don’t forget to talk about Palestine guys! Free Palestine 🇵🇸 🇵🇸🇵🇸

Taglists: @vqxen @bready101 @lilylynne11 @Lively-blues @Yurixxiii @vampyangel @gato-chino @a-little-bit-of-everybody @abbysbraids

[mydarlingclaudia]

this is life

note : divider is from @/the-aesthetics-shop. ermm never written Chris before idk how good this is and ik it's ooc and this is way short. this wasn't in my wip game thing because I started this like 4 hours ago but I love him very much so uh here I feel scared. is it obvious I don't know how to do a good description.

wc : 1.2k

tags : @lottiies

desc : like a lover should. fluff, teeny tiny bit of angst (not really tho), established relationship, any Chris but at the end it's post re8!Chris, fem!reader, not proofread.

Chris knows the sounds of explosions and gunfire more than he knows anything else. He knows the feeling of blood-soaked clothes and heavy bulletproof vests weighing down on his chest as if they’re meant to be worn everyday. He’ll never forget the weight of a gun in his hand, won’t forget how to curl his fingers around a knife and hold it outwards, waiting for whatever is going to lunge at him from the darkness.

But Chris knows the sound of your voice, too. Knows the feeling of your skin underneath his fingertips, how your weight feels lying on top of him late at night. He loves how your hand squeezes his, how your arms wrap around his neck to hold him closer.

His apartment became yours once you stepped into his life. Your makeup is scattered across the counter in his bathroom, your clothes are in his closet, your soaps are in his shower, the smell of his cigarettes quickly mixed with the smell of your perfume. Chris loves it, really. It didn’t happen overnight, Chris wasn’t around all that much, but you always waited and showed up whenever you wanted to, he gave you a spare key for a reason.

He thinks you care about him more than you should, that you shouldn't worry about him so much and that you don't need to give him a massage every time he comes home along with an actual meal instead of whatever food was being rationed out to him on his latest mission. But you do, every single time. Chris wishes you would sleep and not stay up texting him when he tells you he's on his way home, he won't admit that seeing your endless row of texts filling his screen with news of what he's missed over the past few days never fails to make him smile.

You've always known that what Chris does is dangerous, you don't know that he fights monsters straight out of sci-fi movies, but what matters to you is that he comes home in one piece. Truth is, you love him, and he lets you. Chris isn't always the easiest to love and care for, you know there are things he doesn't tell you, but the way he holds you in the morning while he's still asleep is something else entirely.

The time that you did learn about everything he did was after the Edonia and China mess.

You thought he left you, what else were you supposed to think when he went completely radio silent for almost a year? No one seemed to know where he was, you hadn't gotten any news that he was dead, so he had to still be alive, right? You still took care of his apartment, making sure no one broke in, you were hardly back at your own place the whole time he was away, you were just hoping that a few things would be moved around the apartment whenever you came to check on it, just a hint that he was back home and hadn't told you yet.

But he went to your home the night he came back, was there to catch you when you broke down and cried about all the horrible things you thought had happened to him. At least he showered before he came to you. He sounded like a broken record, apologizing over and over again while you just clutched onto his shirt with your head buried in his shoulder.

It took you maybe an hour to calm down, he had the decency to wait for you to stop hiccuping through your tears before he explained himself. You've got every right to be mad at him, and he knows you are, but he's sure you'll nag him some other time when you're not holding onto him like a lifeline.

You probably don't even believe what he's telling you about bioweapons, you don't even know what the fuck that word really means, but it's his job to get rid of them, play exterminator. You just sat there on your bed with a confused expression the whole time, leaning on his shoulder while you sniffled softly. They're monsters, that's how he described them, like something you see in nightmares.

"So... what, like... Godzilla, or something? That's what they are?" You asked him, eyebrows still knitted together. Chris just looked at you, not really sure how to tell you that the undead weren't even in the same category as some of the things he's fought over the years.

"Yeah, kinda." He didn't need to explain further, you were too tired to comprehend the horrors mankind could make. So he let you sleep, kept you in his arms the whole night. He'd wait until tomorrow to tell you he had to keep doing this until the day he died, but he promised to not keep you waiting the next time he leaves.

—

Chris decides that years later, when you're in the kitchen, sitting across from him at the table burping a baby over your shoulder, not his, not yours, that he can't lose you. He almost lost Jill, did lose Piers and Ethan, along with countless other teammates along the line. But now he's got Ethan's baby in his house, he told you more things about his job now, he told you what happened to Ethan and that Rose would be in his care for a little bit, you had only smiled at him.

He should've married you by now. God, what kind of man was he? Dating the woman of his dreams for over a decade and never even trying to propose? He doesn't know why you let him get away with that. You've long since moved in with him, all your things were practically in his apartment by the time he asked if you just wanted to stay and not leave, took absolutely nothing to convince you.

And looking at you with Rose in your arms finally makes him realize as he's pushing fifty that he should have settled with you sooner. Maybe you just never asked because of his job, maybe you were fine with how things were.

"Did you... ever want kids?" He mumbled, avoiding your gaze and instead staring into his coffee cup. You have to think for a second, still rocking the baby in your arms back and forth.

"One would've been nice." You answer him. Shit, now he feels like he's ruined everything.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be, I'm happy we waited." Chris looked up at you, not expecting to be greeted with the smile on your face. You stand up to put Rose into her highchair so you can go get your toast from the toaster, Chris follows you after a few seconds.

"Don't know how you put up with me," His hands find their way to your waist, pressing his chest to your back and resting his head against yours. His hands are still rough from years in battle, he doesn't think he'll ever really be able to relax, but you still love to dote on him whenever you can, it makes him feel like he's meant to be here with you.

"Well, you're quite handsome." Chris smiles and presses a kiss to the side of your head, there have been mornings like this hundreds of times, he can only hope for more in the future.

"You're too good to me."

"Lucky you,"

"I know." He's got the day off, he should go buy you a ring, make things more permanent than they already are.

[hardwareabstractionlayer]

(the post editor malfunctioned and after a series of unfortunate events the original ask post is gone, so I had to make this screenshot mockup of the ask, sorry)

Thank you for prodding me to finish up a draft that's been sitting there for an inexplicably long time.

I will divide puns into exact homophones, which are pronounced exactly the same, and near homophones, which consist of the same phonemes with different tones. Though exact homophones are much punnier in speech, Internet jokes rely heavily upon text input and most people use phonetic-based Chinese input systems, meaning their autocompletes will often suggest near homophones and people will use them if they're funny enough.

To make this slightly statistically sound and not just me making up random puns, I grabbed 700k viewer comments from the years NiF was available on Youku, 2015 to 2020 (courtesy of danmu box). These danmu/弹幕 comments are timed to a particular moment in the show so they splash across the screen while you watch.

Let's start with the heavy hitters:

Xie Yu/谢玉 is an exact homophone of xièyù/泄欲, literally discharging desire, which means satisfying one’s lust or orgasming. Xie Yu's name occurs 5000+ times in the comments versus almost 900 orgasms.

Prince Yu/誉王 is an exact homophone of yùwáng/欲王, meaning prince of lust, and a near homophone, of yùwàng/欲望, which means desire (or the chaotic evil penis). The latter is far more likely to be autocompleted and shows up 1500+ times versus 200+ for the prince of lust.

Yùjīn/豫津 is a near homophone of yùjìn, 欲禁, or forbidden lust/abstinence. Because bath towel/浴巾 is an exact homophone and again far more likely to come up first in autocomplete, people overwhelmingly refer to him as the towel. In the comments, bath towel is used nearly 7000 times, 10x more frequently than his actual name, which is made up of two not-super-common characters.

Mei Changsu is often addressed as Su-xiong/苏兄 by Jingrui and Yujin in canon, which is an exact homophone of sūxiōng/酥胸, a literary term for supple and beautiful breasts that might have the same old-fashioned connotation as heaving bosom does in English. I'm going to call him gorgeous tits because he does bear a striking resemblance to the azure tit:

I've seen Chinese MCS fans note this resemblance before, but these birds don't have titillating names in Chinese so you can have this bonus joke for English speakers. Anyways, gorgeous tits are invoked in nearly 6000 comments versus almost 1200 for Su-xiong itself.

Now you can enjoy one of the comments from the above screenshot exclaiming over these names:

浴巾裹着酥胸，泄欲，这都什么什么 a bath towel (yujin) wrapped around gorgeous tits (su-xiong), orgasming (xie yu), what is all this

And the following off-color joke retold many times throughout the episodes:

Why is Mei Changsu called Su-xiong and not Mei-xiong? Because he has gorgeous tits, not tiny ones (Méi-xiōng/梅兄 is an exact homophone of flat-chested/没胸).

Here are some rarer-but-still-good puns:

Gōng Yǔ/宫羽 is a near homophone of gòngyù/共浴, bathing together (cue viewer comments about how she and bath towel belong with each other).

Níhuáng/霓凰 is a near homophone of nǐhuáng/你黄, slang meaning you’re perverted.

The emperor lives in Yǎngjū Hall/养居殿, a near homophone of penis hall since yángjù/阳具 is the yang implement, though it's most popularly punned with pigpen (I wrote about this here if you scroll to the end).

The travelogue Mei Changsu wrote annotations in, 翔地记, is an exact homophone of xiángdìjì/降帝记, or records of subduing the emperor (which I can only interpret as MCS’s Dom Diaries on how to conquer Jingyan).

To conclude, here’s a stacked area chart of the four horsemen of punny NiF names and how often they're spammed:

[kpophubb]

♡ 𝖤𝗇𝗁𝗒𝗉𝖾𝗇 𝗑 𝖱𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋 ♡

❥єинуρєи ωнєи тнєιя ѕ/σ кιѕѕєѕ тнєιя fσяєнєα∂ αℓℓ σf α ѕυ∂∂єи

♥︎🄶🄴🄽🅁🄴: 𝖿𝗅𝗎𝖿𝖿, 𝖼𝗋𝖺𝖼𝗄 ᰔ // 𝗼𝘁𝟳 𝘅 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 // мαѕтєяℓιѕт

"𝘐 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘮𝘺 𝘴𝘢𝘧𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘪𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘴𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘵 𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦𝘴 𝘪𝘯 𝘣𝘦𝘵𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘭𝘪𝘱𝘴."

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪ ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──

ꕤ 𝗛𝗘𝗘𝗦𝗘𝗨𝗡𝗚:

So your boyfriend heeseung was glued to his pc screen, busying himself on his precious game, totally ignoring the fact that you were asking for his cuddles.

Determined, he kept his gaze fixated on the screen, his fingers tapping the keyboard and the light from the screen illuminating his pretty boy face.

His shining forehead was peeking through the small spaces between his bangs that were covering his eyes partly, and you watched the whole view while standing infront of him and leaning against the wall for support.

You could watch him for hours. Heeseung’s beauty was matched with that of art, he was so beautiful that you were convinced he was one of god’s greatest masterpieces. But suddenly, a string of temptation pulls inside your heart and so, you make your way to go and sit on his lap.

Hee was unbothered the whole time, focused on his mission, as he spread his arms momentarily to let you in. This was a usual habit, you crawling on his lap and burying your face in the crook of his neck and dozing off as he played league of legends.

But tonight, you had different plans. You begin by kissing his cheek and brushing your nose with his soft skin, the sensation making him smile. Soon enough, you lift his bangs with your fingers and kiss his forehead the moment you see it from adoration.

He was cute. And there was no doubt about it.

Heeseung freezes the moment you initiate the kiss. Like man’s soul has left his body…😳😵‍💫

He pauses everything immediately and even accidentally presses the wrong key that exits his game and even maybe deletes it

But no regrets, CAUSE

Now hee’s the one who buries his face in the crook of your neck and wraps his hands around your waist tightly

“Ugh…baby >.< … 👉🏻👈🏻” he scoffs shyly but shamelessly lifts his face up again to demand ANOTHER KISS

“One more…please ☺️🙈”

And ofc you do that. You give him another big MWWWUAAAAHHH 💋 and see how he goes all giggly miggly bambi

But ayee, you have no escape cause once he stops being flushed, you’re up for being attacked by a train of his cheesy KISSESS!!! ;) <333

ꕤ 𝗝𝗔𝗬:

Jay was doing your hair like the sweet, loving boyfriend that he was 🥺

He offered to play with your hair today and try different hairstyles because he found your silky hair so pretty, he couldn’t keep his hands off them >.<

And needless to say, he was super good in it. His taste was amazing and he was talented in everything he tried so you were in awe when he showed you the ribbon hairdo he did by snapping a picture of it.

He was so proud about it and smiling boastfully and when you kept looking at the way his eyes were shining and he looked so lovable and attractive, you decided to give him a tiny reward for his excellent performance.

So you take your face closer to his, and land a kiss on his tanned and pretty forehead. 💋 as a gift for his hard work yeah 🤭

Anndddddd istg man literally MELTS. M e l t s when you do that like wtf😳

You might even have to put him in a freezer to keep him from liquifying completely lmao XD

When you look at his face later, you see his face showing an evident blush, but the shocked face soon dissolves into the brightest one with the purest smile. 🥺

“Now can I make it even?😏” He smirks, pulling you closer to him in a flirty way.

He kisses your forehead as well, while fumbling a sweet ‘i love you’ and giving you the tighest ever hug afterwards! 💕

ꕤ 𝗝𝗔𝗞𝗘:

Jakey was leaving for work again :((

Y’all spent the night being all lovey dovey but sigh..his break was over and he was leaving for recording again </3

He was there standing infront of the open door, giving you a tight squeeze and whining that he hated to leave you but has nothing he can do about it

“I’ll miss you so much princess” he says again, the same sentence he’s uttered over a thousand times by now.

You were gonna miss him a lot too! :( So what could you do to make your painful farewell a little more bearable?

To make his mood lighter, when he lets go of you from his arms, you give him a smol peck on his forehead. <3

You couldn’t help it could you? He looked like such a cute puppy all the time and you always wanted to kiss his forehead and his whole entire face because he looked like an angel. Fr.

And when you do…..

Jake LITERALLY TELEPORTS TO MARS from OVERWHELMING JOY ohmygod-😳

Like..he loves being kissed sm and now you just gave him such a pure and sweet kiss on his f o r e h e a d ಥ_ಥ <3

Will seriously giggle like a lovesick maniac, I’m tellin you ♡~♡

And when his prolonged giggling and smiley session is over, he’s gonna proceed to return you a kith as well

That takes everything in him, yeah

He gives 3 kisses at once on your forehead and Jake being jake, KISSES your whole entire face as well by the end

But so much for mr. sim bold jaeyun cause-

The impact blew up his heart SO BAD that he BUMPS his head into the staircase wall while heading out..😆

So you better not laugh at him and give his huge bump a forehead kiss (2) okay?🥺💞

Help just imagining jake with a red silly bump on the side of his forehead is cracking me up so bad lmao XD

ꕤ 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗛𝗢𝗢𝗡:

It was always fun making your already shy boyfriend even more shy ✨

After all, when he teases you sm on a daily basis, you just had to find your own ways to get back at him 🙄

You saw this trend on tiktok where gfs kiss the foreheads of their bf all of a sudden to catch their reaction

But very unthankfully, your man WAS SO TALL that you could never reach him and execute this plan…:|

So while you guys were cuddling on your shared bed on a weekend night, you feel the urge to do it when you notice from closeup how handsome he is yet again.

Sunghoon’s looks were ethereal. He always looked like a Disney prince taken out straight from a fairytale.

And when your faces are a few centimetres apart and you get to drown in that mesmerising beauty….can you really hold back your desire to kiss him?

Hence you do exactly that. You lift his hair strands with your thumb and give him a prolonged kiss on his forehead.

Initially, sunghoon is in shock…😨 like he can’t process what happened. But WHEN HE DOES THO-

Man might even have a real heart attack stwap- T~T 😳💘💘

Forget about getting sth in return, he’s so shy and MOST OF ALL, so much more awkward that HE’S GONNA dive inside the blanket and refuse to come out like a hibernating bear

God bless his poor heart oh my my 🫣

Sunghoon is gonna be SO CUTE about it that he’s gonna stutter with his speech and RUN TF AWAY FROM YOU now everytime he sees you cause of his own safety 🏃‍♂️💞

ꕤ 𝗦𝗨𝗡𝗢𝗢:

Okay so is that even your fault that your boy looks like a floofy mochi all the time which makes you wanna attack him with kisses 24/7?! >~<

He’s so squishy and has such a pretty awweh face that you can’t even resist the urge to bite him sometimes !!

But yeah..today he looked extra adorable in his pink hoodie as you guys were holding hands and walking on the deserted streets. He just woke up from sleep a while ago and due to that, his face was appearing puffy. (And soft and biteable and prey-able and etc etc.😖 *~* )

You call out his name softly to make him face you in your direction.

“Sunoo~🥺”

He turns to you immediately, with a nodding smile.

But Before he can further react, you mush his cheeks together and kiss his nose !! And then…move to give his forehead a kissy!! <3

His eyes become WIDE AND BIG at the skinship and he jolts backwards in disbelief.

Cause did you just-😳

Dissolves immediately into a shy mess and covers his face with his mouth and blushes some more and tries to speak but shuts up again and what not-

Needs a solid 5 minutes time to settle down and regain his senses :p

And then he gathers his energy to return you a kiss on your forehead (+ cheek) >.<

Seriously so giddy about it that he’s gonna feel the LOUD butterflies inside his stomach even months and years later

Writes it down on his phone with exact date and time secretly to fanboy about the moment all to himself later 😉💗🥺

ꕤ 𝗝𝗨𝗡𝗚𝗪𝗢𝗡:

So you were sitting in the chair infront of your dressing table, braiding your hair for the night when your ears suddenly register the noise of the bathroom door opening behind you.

Your eyes immediately follow involuntarily and you notice how your boyfriend, jungwon, came out of the shower. His hair was drenched in water, his defined figure protruding against his thin white tshirt and earrings dangling from one ear.

Your mouth falls half open struck by his barefaced beauty, and your gaze can’t help but follow at the uncommon sight of his forehead peeking through clearly admist his attractive black, wet bangs.

It was a rare sight considering how jungwon was used to wearing his hair down most of the time. Whenever his forehead did show now, you couldn’t help but blush at how good and mature he looked.

Eyeing him mindlessly for a few minutes, you trace how he obliviously sits in the corner of his bed, drying his head with the towel, pushing his bangs upwards more in the process, revealing more of his glassy skin.

Jungwon was beautiful. To put it simply, he was handsome and at the same time, really cute. A man to set your heart on fire and a boy to make it melt simultaneously. And now that you were staring at his resting face with blind admiration, you become suddenly overcome by the urge to go to him and kiss his forehead out of your overwhelming love for him. :’)

You make your way towards him, catching his innocent attention and quickly position yourself in his lap with a sheepish smile. Cupping his cheeks with both your palms, you lean your face closer to his and land a gentle peck on his forehead, closing your eyes for a few seconds and letting your lips linger a little more on his skin than needed.

Jungwon doesn’t even have the time to process what happened until you look into his eyes later, hazily with a lot of love. That’s when he realizes what just happened and INSTANTLY TRIES TO COVER HIS FACE WITH THE TOWEL TO HIDE HIS BLUSHY REACTION! 😳

It turns into a literal TUG OF WAR because he just WON’T LET YOU LOOK at his embarrassed and hella adorable face. >.< 👉🏻👈🏻💘 (bc like you just stabbed his poor heart with an arrow unannounced like that xhdjdndjd come on y/n!!!!😤)

“Wonie!! >~< what’s the matter with you LET ME SEE YOUR FACE!” You yell, pulling the towel with all your might but failing miserably before his strength.

“Shut up….y/n..” he counter argues in a mewling voice. He’s just super shy hehe so he doesn’t know what else to say

After a minute or two, your fight comes to an end when-

You both fall down on the bed, ✨you on top of him and him under you, both your eyes locking romantically in the process. The material falls off his angel face and you see his rosy cheeks and big sparkly eyes that were filled with love and shyness.

So what do you do now?😏😉

You kiss his forehead another time, catching him off guard YET AGAIN.

But this time, you aren’t going untouched ahem ahem.🤭

Cause jungwon grabs you by the waist in a flash and pulls you close to him, draping his arms securely around you. With one hand, he tucks your loose hair strand beneath your ear and brushes your hot cheek with the back of his finger.

For a brief second, you feel like he’s gonna kiss you. But nah, he doesn’t. He just smiles and then laughs before TYING YOU DOWN TO HIM WITH HIS LEGS AND CUDDLING YOU FOR THE REST OF THE NIGHT LIKE A PLUSHIE! >.< <33

But don’t worry, you know what happened when you wake up and taste a cherry lip balm on your lips the next morning. Cause yeah, that lip balm belongs to a certain✨ someone✨ and you knew exactly what he did to you while you were asleep on his bed. 🤫😳💞💋

ꕤ 𝗡𝗜 𝗞𝗜:

Niki had just gotten home from the long u.s tour and it would be less to say that you missed him :(

Cause you missed him SO MUCH that it drove you almost crazy

So the time he came back and you saw his face and tall figure the moment you opened the door.., all you wanted was to cling to him like a monkey and kiss the shit outta him >.<

But you resist yourself and all you do is hug him tight..

However when some moments pass and he’s all changed into his comfy pjs and lying on the bed next to you..you can’t resist the urge to kiss him

Today you were feeling too too innocent and you were worn out so what you do is give him a feather light kiss on his forehead. 👄

To which obviously he reacts VIOLENTLY…

Is in 300 different forms of shock..lmao

“😨😱😶😐😵😵‍💫😳😍” yeah these are his 50 shades of reactions..

He tries. I promise he TRIES to act cool and composed but from the way his ears have gone RED RED, it’s obvious that you had quite an impact. ;)

And don’t even ask him if he’s okay..cause he’s not really ✨gwenchana ✨

Ni ki is so malfunctioned that he might even hit your face with a pillow or sth

Cause who knows 😆

When he regains his senses, you better brace yourself BECAUSE he’s about to throw you on the bed and tickle the life out of you >~< <3

“Don’t think you’re going anywhere tonight y/n. It’s time for my sweet revenge ;) “ he smugly declares before proceeding to climb on top of you and tease you for the rest of the night😛

But hmmmm, let me tell you, your baby boy is definitely gonna sneak in a few kissing sessions in between the playful fight so better be prepared!🤫💋 ;))

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪ ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──

🄰/🄽: 𝗁𝗈𝗉𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖾𝗇𝗃𝗈𝗒𝖾𝖽!:) 𝗍𝗒𝗌𝗆 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝟤.𝟦 𝖿𝗈𝗅𝗅𝗈𝗐𝖾𝗋𝗌 <𝟥 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝖽𝗈𝗇'𝗍 𝖿𝗈𝗋𝗀𝖾𝗍 𝗍𝗈 𝗿𝗲𝗯𝗹𝗼𝗴 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗅𝖾𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗒𝗈𝗎𝗋 𝖼𝗎𝗍𝖾 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗱𝗯𝗮𝗰𝗸𝘀 𝗶𝗻 𝗰𝗼𝗺𝗺𝗲𝗻𝘁𝘀/𝘁𝗮𝗴𝘀/𝗮𝘀𝗸𝘀! ♡

Tagging: @boowoowho @heejakeysworld @onlyforsunghoon @cloudcutter @yjjungwon @miyoung07

[thesoftboiledegg]

Rock on! 🎶🎵

After I walked around, took pictures and grabbed a gift from the Rickmobile, I decided to drive home. I'm not interested in watching the anime, so why stay for the screening?

I drove about ten minutes away, and I thought--nope, I'm going back. This is a once-in-a-lifetime event. Watching movies and TV shows is way more fun when you're in a crowd. I'm an MCU fan, so I know how it works.

Earlier that evening, people were parked in the chairs, ready for the show.

Adult Swim reminded them not to record the episode. "We shouldn't have to tell you this, but people suck."

It started raining on the drive back to the Rickmobile, but luckily, it didn't last long. Unfortunately, I arrived just in time to catch the last five minutes. Whoops.

But they announced that they'd air the episode again! I just had to kill thirty minutes.

Check out that guy's Morty mask! 👇

I was hungry, so I bought a hot dog and homemade chips from a food truck. Adult Swim blasted their Spotify playlist--with ads. Apparently, they didn't want to spring for Spotify Premium.

The crowd slowly thinned out. The Rickmobile ran out of merchandise and closed up shop.

Weird, it looks like an ice cream truck in that first photo. 🍨

Morty managed to look even more terrified in the darkness. Someone helpfully illuminated his face with a spotlight.

Before the episode began, the crew played a track that I thought was a remix of the Rick and Morty theme song, but apparently, it's a track called Birth4000 by Floating Points.

And then it was showtime!

Before the episode, Adult Swim played another reminder that this preview was "just between us" and that piracy is bad. And they weren't joking--a guy standing next to me got caught recording the episode and had to leave after deleting the video from his phone.

The episode itself was OK. I enjoyed the art, animation and theme song, but the story was hard to follow. Summer was a badass, though. I also loved getting a glimpse of the Rick with long hair. I'll admit it: I'm biased because my OC is a fellow long-haired Rick.

Thinking about it now, I wonder how many people in the crowd also had OCs or roleplayed, wrote fics, made fan art, etc. It's easy to forget that even a lot of diehard fans don't take that route. We're our own little community inside a giant fanbase.

I hope I can attend another event like this in the future. It's one thing to spot thousands of Rick and Morty fans on Twitter or Reddit, but to see how many people love the show in person? And that's just a tiny fraction of its viewership.

Here's to season eight and beyond!

[championwarnings]

ً HONEY LETTER ୨୧♡

warnings. fluff, a lot of fluff, fluff that rots your teeth, friends to lovers !, jack being so cute and huggable

plot. jack and you are starring in a romcom and you think it's a "great" idea to tell him your feelings when you're practicing your lines.

— ♪ hey stephen jack

a/n. DUDE THIS IS TOO LONG, IT'S HORRIBLE, I HATE IT, btw it's my first fic, be kind ><

💌 ♡♥︎ ………………………………..........

Something you loved about being an actress was the confidence you had acquired over the years, you were so sure of yourself that, without even doing anything, everyone felt confident with you and admired the way you were. However, you would like to say that you always have that confidence in yourself, because at this moment you found yourself with your legs shaking with nervousness.

You were on the filming set of your next movie, a romcom, this was the first time you accepted a role like this, because you have always been more into suspense and horror. Being the lead in a romcom was not easy, especially when your co-star was the cutest guy you had ever seen. You had acted with many guys before, but none like Jack Champion.

You met Jack months before filming began, the director had suggested that you spend more time together so that the chemistry would be noticeable on screen and so you did. With every shooting scene you could feel your own character take over you, acting like a schoolgirl in love trying to camouflage your feelings for the boy who stole your heart.

Remembering each of your moments with Jack was like therapy, you adored him, yes, and he could say the same. Right now you find yourself looking into his eyes, your lips trembling and your legs weak, Jack must think you're too deep in your role.

You hold up a letter written in your own handwriting, so neat and tiny so that you can read it smoothly in case you forgot what was to be read. You had decided to rehearse your lines before you started recording the scenes and boy had you practiced a lot, you already knew what the other was going to say.

Jack was watching you intently for your movements, anxious for you to start saying your lines, his eyes going from your eyes to your hands, and so it went on until you made a small sound, so inaudible that Jack had to open his eyes wider for you to repeat it.

"I know... we've been friends for a while now and it may seem very sudden but... I think I like you."

Saying that, you tried to look around, looking for something to entertain yourself with or distract your thoughts, but you couldn't, all you could do was return your gaze to Jack's, looking for a response to what you said, but you decided to speak again, ignoring your lines and giving him the letter your character had written for his.

"I'd like to know if you can hear my heart beating right now" you took his hand bringing it carefully to your chest, Jack looked at you in surprise, diverting his gaze to your hand and then to the letter he held in his other hand.

Jack could feel how fast your heart was going and your hands so cold as an ice cube, he didn't know if you were being sincere or just winging it. His gaze rested on your lips, noticing how you were trying to keep them still as you licked them to calm yourself. He smiled softly, trying to inspire peace and tranquility in you, you looked like a chihuahua from shaking so much and that was very funny to him. He moved a little closer to you, leaning his body to bury his head in your neck being careful not to be rough. He kept his nose on your neck, wondering how it was possible for you to smell so good, but quickly fizzled out any thoughts not befitting the scene and opted to speak so nicely.

"What do you say we get serious?" he whispered into your neck, his response surprised you and his breath caused your back to arch a little. You knew you liked Jack, but you didn't know you could like him this much.

You pulled away from him slowly, looking into his eyes, searching for some trace of a lie in his eyes, but they only glittered anxiously. That reminded you of the times when you both flirted with each other before the filming of the movie started and as you still do, it became a habit between you to be affectionate with each other, let out teasing or just hugging each other during breaks.

You looked at him doubtful of everything, you were proposing, but you didn't know if Jack had realized that, maybe that's why he answered that or maybe he just wanted to improvise.

"Yah, stop playing with that, it's just a rehearsal" you gave him a somewhat forced smile, pulling your hands away from his and taking back the letter he was holding. "We should go get something to drink."

Jack let out a laugh, hugging your shoulders and starting to walk with you, your heart was still pounding furiously and you felt so silly for not continuing to talk.

"You did great, for a moment there I believed it" You raised your head to find Jack looking straight ahead with a smile, you thought about what to say back to that, did he like you too?

Jack seemed to be deep in thought as well, until he shook his head several times and looked up at you, depositing a kiss on the top of your head.

And so the days went by, in each rehearsal you said something different, like he was the king of your heart or that he brought you flying in the clouds, but again, you denied everything and said it was just you improvising and of course Jack was not far behind, he answered you new things, he said that the girl of his story had always been you or that you were the light of his eyes. You were so happy with something you started and you knew it was fake.

But one day you decided to finally confess your feelings, that day you opted to put on light makeup and wear a small necklace, not so flashy, but you knew Jack would see it because he once told you he liked shiny things. Comically you checked your horoscope to see if it was your lucky day, you had never been one to believe in such things, but you were so desperate that anything good would make you jump for happiness.

Today you hadn't gone to the recording set, you both agreed that you would practice in your apartment, so you took the opportunity to do a quick cleaning.

Jack arrived at the agreed time, you were surprised how punctual he could be, when you opened the door you felt like melting, you were so lost for this man that no matter what he wore, he would look so good, you smiled at him and let him pass, noticing that his mullet looked a little lacy and the skin on his neck was brighter.

"So, honey, shall we continue with the same today?" he asked you with amusement, he called your name to see if you had heard him and you, softly answered yes to both questions.

You got into position, Jack was admiring every corner of your living room carefully and attentively, he smiled when he saw a heart shaped pillow on your couch, so he decided to take it in his arms and hug it to look at you attentively, he wanted to know what statement you would give him today. He moved his hands towards you, implying that he wanted you to talk.

You stuttered a little, thinking about what you would say today but this time, you took the letter in your hands, opened the envelope and began to read, you wrote your character's statement inspired by your crush on Jack. Several times Jack had held the envelope in his hands, but never checked its contents.

"Hey, you're probably thinking, did this crazy lady write me a letter?" you blurted out mockingly, recited her character's name and again stuck your nose in the letter. "Possibly in this letter I won't tell you half the things I want to tell you, you're so brilliant and unique, you make me want to love you like I've never loved anyone before."

"Everyone wants to have you, but I'll always be the only one waiting for you in the coldest moment, you make me feel like I'm not alone" You looked up, only to notice how focused Jack was on your lips, listening intently to everything you said, he was fascinated by your voice, how confident you sounded to him, but you were so nervous that you didn't notice how determined you looked in his eyes.

"You don't know how much I want to kiss you, you look like an angel, I love every part of you, you make me feel unique, the way you say my name is... indescribable" you formed a smile remembering the times Jack called you by your name and not a random nickname, he smiled for the same thing too, wishing he was the one the letter was addressed to.

"I know there are a lot of girls wishing to have you, but will they be able to write you a letter highlighting their love for you?" you laughed, looking at Jack again, you extended the letter to him, this time, with the intention that he would read it, he didn't know if he would, in the script it wasn't written that he would read the letter, but you, however, he decided to ignore it and take it, brushing his fingers with yours, you both smiled at that act.

You watched Jack closely, enchanted by his long eyelashes and the polka dots that adorned his smooth face, you directed your gaze to his lips, which he moved, pretending to read, they looked so cute, immersed in reading that you stayed watching him until he finished reading. Jack looked up, giving you the most radiant smile you've ever seen.

"It's amazing, our characters are so.... wow!" you noticed the excitement in his voice, he sounded like a child after being given his favorite toy, he could only laugh and smile like never before "Your performance captivated me, I thought you would improvise again, I mean..."

"Jack..." You interrupted, already tired of the whole thing, it was time, you had to tell him your feelings yes or yes, maybe they weren't reciprocated, but you needed to get that weight off your back.

"I'm sorry, I lied in every scene we rehearsed, the truth is I like you and I had no idea how to say it" With all the courage you could muster you blurted out your feelings, you wanted to die, throw yourself off a cliff and never see Jack again.

But he smiled at you again and started laughing, with the letter still in his hand, he rubbed his hands on his pants and looked all around before looking back at you.

"Are you being honest this time?" He whispered longingly to you, his cheeks turned red and you could swear yours were just as red, you nodded repeatedly which gave you a headache.

Jack turned around, releasing all the air he was holding and began to hop lightly, reaching towards you and taking your face in his hands, he kissed your forehead, your cheeks and your nose, his eyes were paid to yours, looking at you sweetly.

"Can I kiss you, I just really like you too"

He teased you, you laughed and hugged his abdomen, drawing him to you and resting your lips on his.

At that moment you could have sworn you were in love with Jack Champion.

!!

english is not my first language, sorry if there are some mistakes, i try to improve. also to mention that i don't write smut, just fluff !!, bc jack deserves respect. <3

[littlemissaddict]

No point or plot to this, it's just a silly little idea that my brain would not let me let go of. Shy!Reader falls asleep on the couch and her shirt rides up exposing her ass and Eddie makes sure to cover her up before company arrives.

Word Count: 1148

Eddie let himself into their shared apartment, closely followed by Steve, or he was until he spotted her lying on the couch. It seemed she had fallen asleep in front of the tv watching a long since finished video if the static screen was anything to go by.

"Hey, wait here a second, okay" Eddie spoke, sticking his left arm backwards and stopping Steve in his tracks. Steve gave him a confused look but complied with Eddie's request instead watching him venture further into the apartment albeit a little more quietly this time.

He crossed the room in a few long strides over to her now seeing fully what he'd only glimpsed from the doorway. Her oversized shirt had ridden up her back while she'd slept, leaving her ass exposed to the room as god knows the tiny panties she had on did little to cover her. It was also the reason he'd stopped Steve before he'd crossed the threshold knowing how embarrassed she'd be if she knew anyone other than Eddie had seen her like that because even though he'd managed to get her to admit that nudity wasn't as bad as she'd been made to believe, she still had a hard time with anyone seeing her bare including Eddie occasionally. Reaching for the blanket she always kept over the arm of the couch, mainly because she always seemed to be cold, he laid it over her body to cover her and her modesty before Steve's voice pulled him back to the present.

"Hey man everything good"

"Yeah, yeah you can come in now" he encouraged, crouching beside her and pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead, smiling when she sighed softly in her sleep. After he straightened back up, he turned to find a bemused looking Steve who looked as if he was going to tease Eddie. "Don't even think about it, I'm just being a good boyfriend and making sure shits not on display that's for my eyes only" he scolds ushering Steve out of the main room and into the spare bedroom that was used instead as their own mini library/recording studio/games room and general storage room for all their belongs that didn't fit anywhere else in the apartment. It wasn’t ideal but it meant that they wouldn't wake the sleeping girl on the couch because Eddie thought she'd been overworking herself lately and was glad she was getting some rest which she clearly needed.

When she awoke, she could hear the muffled voices from elsewhere in the apartment and when she tried to move she felt her legs tangled in fabric. Body still heavy with sleep she reached down clumsily to find the blanket dropped over her lower body. Funny, she thought, she didn't remember pulling that over her and then she realised the tv was now off but that was definitely on, she vividly remembers that Ferris Bueller's Day Off was playing on the now black screen, which means only one thing - Eddie was home.

She mumbles his name as she fumbles with the blanket, finally freeing herself from it and she stands, feeling the shirt fall to her mid thighs as it now registers to her that the muffled voices she can hear belong to Eddie and Steve. Padding her way across the room to the closed door where the voices are coming from, she screws her eyes shut as the brightness of the overhead light hits her eyes especially as it's much brighter than the lamp light in the room she's come from. She says his name again as she rubs her eyes, willing them to adjust to the light quicker than they are.

The voices stop as both boys turn to look at her in the doorway and Eddie smiles, opening his arms towards her as he speaks, "there she is, my sleeping beauty" she lets him wrap her up in a hug as he pulls her into his lap and her head drops to rest on his shoulder.

"How long was I out" she asks, voice quiet and still groggy from sleep.

"Well we've been here, what an hour or so?" He asks, double checking with Steve who confirms Eddie's statement, "and you were flat out then so a while I'd say" he finishes and she nods against his neck as she feels his warm hands pulling the shirt down her thighs, covering the skin where it had ridden up once again, this time from when she'd sat down.

"And you covered me up?" She asked, even though she knew the answer was more than likely going to be a yes and while she was expecting the answer to be from him, Steve answered for him.

"He sure did, had me wait in the hall until he was sure you were decent" Steve nodded, even though she couldn't see it from where her face was still buried in Eddie's neck as she still hadn't adjusted to the brightness of the lights fully.

"Thank you" she mumbled, voice muffled and Eddie felt her words more than heard but he understood anyway.

"Anything for you princess" he reassured, his voice soft as it always was for her as he brought a hand up to brush through her hair, sharing a moment together almost as if they'd forgotten Steve was there. "We didn't wake you did we?" He asked, worried for a second that they had disturbed her much needed sleep.

"Nope, m'hungry is all" she replied with a shake of her head and then as if on cue her stomach rumbled.

"Yeah it seems it, how does pizza sound?" He laughed and she nodded her head eagerly. "Steve?" Eddie inquired, confirming that he hadn't forgotten about him but as he looked over at the other boy he found him glancing at his watch.

"It's getting late, I should be heading out" he said with a shake of his head as he looked up from the watch, "another time though" he added and Eddie nodded in understanding.

"You sure, you can stay" she spoke, a pout on her lips as she finally lifted her head out from the crook of Eddie's neck now that she was a little more accustomed to the light. Steve only nodded in response, a small reassuring smile on his face.

Her focus was pulled away from Steve when Eddie's hands tapped against her thighs, "come on then sweet thing, let's see Steve out and then we'll order pizza" he encouraged, waiting for her to stand before the two boys followed, saying their goodnights before he left which left the two of them alone.

"You want your usual" Eddie laughed as her stomach growled again and she nodded, settling herself on the couch again with the blanket while she waited as Eddie placed their order, hoping that she didn't fall asleep again before it arrived.

[bringbacktim]

Reaction video (deleted scenes)-jschlatt

This was meant as a celebration for me getting 500 likes ( which is crazy thank you guys sm) but it took me so long to write it that I've now reached 1000 and have to think of something really good ( and smutty ) for that

This is all the embarrassing moments that didn't make the cut for the first imagine , basically reaction video (from the vault)

Warnings:mention of sex tape, swearing, making out , innuendos, god knows what else

Not edited or proofread

Wc:3k words

After seeing the positive reaction their fans had towards the YouTube video y/n and her boyfriend Jschlatt posted, which was just them embarrassing themselves the entire video , they decided to make a part two after finding out the same channel had made another embarrassing moments compilation

"We're back again and ready to embarrass ourselves" y/n said introducing the video

"And out our sex lives" schlatt added knowing they need to stop acting so unprofessional in front of cameras

Embarrassing moment #1

The first one was captured via Charlie's Instagram story at some fancy restaurant ted had invited : schlatt , y/n , and charlie to while they were in LA filming

"Before we even got there we were scolded by Ted to not do anything inappropriate because it was a fancy restaurant , he even made us sit opposite each other" she laughed remembering how Ted was like a concerned parent

"I just want to say before this clip plays , I had no part in this" schlatt said trying to clear his name

This moment was less of a continuous clip and more of a few intagram stories that consisted of just silly photographs of the tiny portions of food or Ted and Charlie doing some stupid joke

There was nothing really out of the ordinary or inappropriate and Ted was thanking the God's above . It was probably due to the fact that Y/n was typing away on her phone and schlatt was deep in conversation, but he was thankful nonetheless

"You've retyped that message a hundred times , what can you not figure out what to say" he asked trying not to be nosy but just wanted to help her

"Anything I say just sounds too needy" she said hoping he didn't get the sexual aspect she was hinting at

"Are you seriously sexting right now"he said with a shake of his head and a sigh

"Would you rather me do it in person" she said as he made a face that said 'good call'

"You and schlatt are the nastiest people I know , how do you sound "too needy"" he said using quotation marks to prove his point

"I'm not even going to bother showing you because it'll end up somewhere online" she half joked as she finally figured out what she wanted to text schlatt as ted turned to talk to him

The text was simple but also got the point across, but it also got in the frame for Charlie's video for barely two seconds as he did a quick sweep of the table , however the fans were quick to spot the 'quickie in the bathroom?' text appear on his screen , but Schlatt was too deep in conversation to hear his phone ping

"Right now? You pigs" Charlie said after putting his phone down , this catching Jschlatt's attention

"What are you talking about man" he said used to having that insult towards him and his sexual antics , but he hadn't done anything

"You might want to check your phone" Charlie said as schlatt checked his phone stood up and said "uh I'll be back in like 10 minutes" checking his watch as he waited for his girlfriend to also stand up

"Can't take them anywhere" Ted laughed recording them giggling and walking away as a punishment

"That wasn't as bad as I remembered , I mean that is a pretty tame text" he said looking at his girlfriend for her agreement

"I can tell Its going to go downhill from here" she said playing the next clip

Embarrassing moment #2

"If you don't want to be that crazy then you'll do ATM-ing , where you take the dick and slide it between the buttcheeks until you come and that's not sex, but it's like an ATM card" Qtcinderella explained to the group

"Okay so you can slide the card but you can't insert the chip" schlatt replied half serious half laughing

"The smirk on your face is so evident , you smug bastard" y/n said turning to her boyfriend as he put his hands up in surrender " ATM-ing  is not as fun as it sounds , I don't recommend"

"Care to elaborate on that" ted laughs turning his head to his left at lightning speed

"I felt like I was acting out sausage party" she replied cringing at the memory

"The thought is better than reality sad to say " Schlatt said getting closer to the microphone and basically whispering

Embarrasing moment #3

This one came from a stream he was doing and he found some beef jerky in the kitchen when he took a snack break, but it turned out to be disgusting

"I can't even apologise for this one , I stand by it"

"My guest appearance was everyone's favourite part let's be honest" his girlfriend said knowing his fans love her

"Chat don't ever try organic grass fed beef jerky , tastes like actual ass" he had to hold back a gag at how gross it was

"The broad must of bought it , I would never had gone for organic" chat went wild over the mention of you

"I hope they see this clip of me and shut the fucking company down" schlatt said walking to the other side of the room to get the trash can to show him throwing it away

As he holds it up to the camera for the dramatic effect it is evidently clear that there is a used condom very clearly sat in the bottom of the trash can next to a wrapper of some kind , after throwing away the beef jerky he saw chat going crazy about whatever was in the garbage

"Guys what are you going crazy over in chat" he said scrolling through the comments like an idiot instead of just looking in the object in his hand

Y/n was confused why her phone was blowing up with notifications from her fans saying to go see what schlatt was doing or to join his live, so she obviously did worried about whether he had just revealed something private or hurt himself

Joining his live to see him staring off into space clearly remembering him fucking her over the desk the night before in that short skirt he loved

"The way you stop in your fucking tracks trash can still in view just reliving it with no shame"

"It was a good night, can you blame me" he shrugged his shoulders

Calling his phone didn't snap him out of it , so she stormed into his office mortified that however many people could see what was in the garbage

Waving a hand in front of his face and taking it out of his hands seemed to do the trick as he blushed and started laughing

"You can't blame me , you wore that skirt last night knowing how it would end" he said forgetting they weren't the only two people on earth but also not caring

"Why do you think I keep wearing it" she laughed "didn't think it would distract you so much though"

"Can't wait for the photos and clips to circle the internet later" he said sitting back down in his chair as she said goodbye and left

" I don't know how you didn't get banned for that" his girlfriend questioned as he shrugged and chuckled

"They sent me a very stern email"

Embarrassing moment #4

This moment was captured via CCTV outside Ted's house , but he posted it to his Instagram story cause he thought it was funny (he was a little drunk)

Ted had invited Y/n and Schlatt over for dinner kind of like a double date , but also just to catch up

"You better not embarrass us tonight"  his girlfriend scolded him as they walked up to the door of Ted's house and she knocked on the door

"When have I ever not been on my best behaviour" he feigned innocence

"You do it every time we do anything, no one would even be phased if our tape got leaked" she joked

"You have to stop joking about that for my sanity"

"If you cared that much about it getting leaked you wouldn't keep it under no protection" Y/n said knocking again " what is taking Ted so long , I'm getting bored"

"I know a way we can pass the time" schlatt said trying to hold in his laugh at how cliche it was

"If I kiss you , promise me you'll never speak like that again" she said leaning in and closing the gap between them

Obviously, things got heated pretty quickly (it is them afterall) . So when the Nivison boy did eventually make it to the door , he was greeted with the sight of his good friend Jschlatt making out with his girlfriend with a very prominent hand on her behind

He awkwardly cleared his throat as they stepped apart

"Nice of you to finally let us in" schlatt joked walking past him and into the house

"Almost got dicked down in your driveway to pass the time" Y/n followed up

"You guys would've done it either way , just don't keep me up tonight" he warned before closing the door

"He actually kept us awake that night , but fortunately for him I didn't video it and post it on the internet" Y/n remarked

"Why did we pick careers with cameras everywhere" schlatt questioned with a confused face

Embarrassing moment #5

This one happened once again on stream , he was sat at his desk reacting to some compilation of something someone made him . Truth be told the only thing he could focus on was the feeling of his girlfriends mouth around his cock under the desk

Sure it was an adventurous thing to do and would most likely get them caught, but schlatt couldn't care less these reaction videos were getting boring and he needed something to stay focused

"This one is the most embarrassing, people still make fun of us for this" Y/n said hiding her head in her hands

"It was fun at the time, but oh my God do people not shut up about it" her boyfriend agreed lightly chuckling

Anytime he let a groan or any noise slip out he would try to cover it up by acting like he was reacting to the video and adding some comment onto it . All was well until she tried a new technique that almost made him blow a load in zero point two seconds , as she attempted to do it again by getting closer to him so she could get more of him in her mouth , but overestimated how much room there was between her head and the desk resulting in her losing her grip on the carpet and lunging forward resulting in a rather loud gag due to the acoustics of the wooden desk she was under

"Ow" she said pushing his chair back and her head peaking out just enough for the camera to see which obviously everyone saw and went mad for

He just pushed her head back under until he put his 'be back soon' screen up and checked if she was okay

"I didn't even want to go on Twitter for days after this , the one time this guy isn't screaming at the top of his lungs" y/n said pointing at him

"The acoustics of the desk didn't help with how loud the gag was either"  he added

Embarrassing moment #6

This one happened at Sneegsnag's wedding and was captured by Ted and uploaded to Instagram (he was past tipsy at this point)

"I can tell by that suit we're at Sneegsnag's wedding, but which moment is going to play is the question" y/n said hoping it was the tamer one

"I'm gonna guess the Ted one" jschlatt said making it into a game

As it was the Ted clip, he showed up on screen slurring some words into the camera before turning the camera around to pan across the entire room

He heard the slow songs starting to play and questioned why Y/n and Schlatt the most in love couple he knew weren't on the dance floor right now , so like any drunk wedding guest he stomped over to them phone still in hand and asked"why are you guys not dancing?"

"Big guy won't dance with me" his friend replied sulking

"C'mon man , don't be that guy" ted said pulling a face at his friend

"I'll dance if you and shae do" schlatt bargained

As ted looked at his friend y/n who was already looking at him with what can only be described as a pleasing look "fine" he said for the sake of his friend

"He could've stopped recording here and just made it look like a nice moment" Y/n pointed out knowing what was coming

"There's not a single nice moment of the three of us , or just the two of us" her boyfriend joked

Before they got to the dance floor where the photographer was most likely taking pictures , so she did what any good person would do and fixed his collar and smoothed out his shirt for him

"If I knew you'd be acting like my good housewife , I would've said yes to dancing the first time you asked" he laughed grabbing a handful of ass as she hid her face in his chest embarrassed about such a stupid joke being caught on camera . A joke that nonetheless was going to be labelled as offensive by people online

"People took that housewife joke and ran with it honestly" y/n said rolling her eyes

"Alot of people didn't realise that it was a harmless joke, this broad would make the worst housewife ever" he said trying to keep a serious face as he pressed play on the video

Embarrassing moment #7

This one was on an episode of chuckle sandwich , they were talking about how people who believe everything they see on the internet is true are idiots

"This one keeps me up at night , I apologise to whoever had to blur this part" she cringed hiding her head in her boyfriends shoulder as he attempted to soothe her by patting/rubbing the back of her head

"As soon as this happened, I begged everyone to let me edit that part of the video , I didn't want anyone else seeing it uncensored" Jschlatt said before pressing play , letting his possessive side shine through

"You're so possessive"

"How would you like it if I whipped out my cock for everyone to see " he turned towards her and asked as she agreed

"I keep getting DM's from fans asking if facts they see on social media are real or not , anyone else?" Ted asked the group

"No what the fuck type of fans do you have" schlatt laughed

"What facts do they want to know?"

Y/n asked

"I've never seen a single video on social media that had any true facts" charlie said

Schlatt muttered a 'true' in response to his friend, but was caught off guard by his girlfriend staring at him with an all knowing look from her square on screen "why are you staring at me like that" he said probably cutting off a conversation

"What about that tiktok you sent me the other day that said staring at boobs can make a man live longer, and you said it was "very true" his girlfriend called him out

"You guys can back me up here" he said leaning back in his seat and smirking

" I have to agree with schlatt on this one" Ted said standing up for his friend

"That's the first true fact I've heard that comes from social media" Charlie said contradicting his statement from earlier as they laughed

Schlatt heard a knock on his office door so went to open it thinking it was one of the cats , not expecting it to be his girlfriend

"What's wrong?" He said cat parent mode activating

"Is your camera off ?" She whispered

"What are you two doing in that doorway?" Ted said thinking it was probably sexual

"Hang on, I'll be back guys" schlatt said going to press the button that turned his camera off , but accidentally clicked the one that muted him

"Why are we always the ones being embarrassed, when is it anyone else's turn" Y/n said remembering how embarrassing this clip was

"Audio listeners love you to death , Y/n knocked on Schlatt's door and then he attempted to turn his camera off and failed, but he's across the room so won't hear us if we tell him"

What the trio (+tucker) didn't expect to happen next was for Y/n to pull the bottom of the shirt she was wearing upwards and flash everyone in that call . Charlie and Ted have never turned their head away from something so quickly and pretend to be doing something else

"This is just like when a sex scene comes on when you're watching a movie as a family and you gave to pretend to be interested in the carpet" charlie said trying to fill in the awkward pause

By the time Ted had told the audio listeners what just went down schlatt and Y/n were back in their respective squares on screen fully clothed

"You can wipe that smile off your face,we all just witnessed that" Ted said not bothering to beat around the bush

"Let me know when this gets edited" schlatt ended the conversation by saying

"When you said you censored my boobs out of the video I half expected a twin tower on each one" (don't tell me he wouldn't do that) she laughed as he hung his head in disappointment

"Why didn't I think of that , the powered by bitchdust bumper sticker seems stupid now"

After some more jokes and mean comments about their friends , they bid farewell to whoever would watch the video and made a pact to dial down the amount of embarrassing moments they produced

[jo-harrington]

Corroded Coffin Fest - Day 29 - Behind the Music

Summary: What happens when Corroded Coffin stars in their first documentary?

Word Count: 986

Rating: T

Warnings/Themes: Boys Will Be Boys Shenanigans, Humor, tiny bit of angst, FOI references, Dustin Henderson is a little shit, semi-related to my fic Best Spring Break Ever

Note: OH GOD, ok I may or may not have taken liberties with this one. Maybe because my friends and I did a dumb ass thing like this when we were teenagers fucking around with a video camera. JUST...it's gonna be fine guys.

Check Out the Main Post for @corrodedcoffinfest here! Even if you didn’t start on Day 1, you can still join!

Tagging: @the-unforgivenn at her request.

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Enjoy!

"Do you guys want to help us with a project for AV Club?"

The entire lunch table stopped their conversing and turned their attention to a nervous Dustin Henderson.

"Oh no," Gareth scoffed. "We're not helping you with another nerd project like we did during Spring Break."

"It's not a nerd project!" Lucas protested.

"If it's for AV it's a nerd project," Dave said matter-of-factly.

“Whatever it is, I’m not driving you guys around again,” Eddie interjected, “the van still smells like old socks and cheese ball farts.”

“Ed, I think that’s just what the van smells like,” Jeff failed to contain his laughter.

“Come on you guys had fun last time,” Mike argued. “And this time you won’t even have to do anything except sit there, look cool, and talk about Corroded Coffin!”

It was like a record scratch, all of the hemming and hawing ceased and, instead, the older boys asked how they could help, all while the freshmen looked like the cat that got the cream.

Turns out the project was another scholarship thing--who knew that they gave out AV Club scholarships--to film some kind of amateur documentary.

They were sure was an easy win before they even filmed a single piece of footage.

"No one else is gonna do one about a garage band," he said confidently. "We just film you guys performing, maybe get some b-roll of you setting things up--"

"Alright," Eddie agreed.

"--and a few interviews where you share your pet peeves and darkest secrets." It was said with the utmost nonchalance.

"Excuse me?"

"Yeah," Dustin grinned. "It'll win for sure. Corroded Coffin: The Ups, Downs, and Upside Downs of an Indiana Garage Band. Uh...the title is a work in progress."

It took bribery in the form of Claudia Henderson's Scotcheroo Bars before they finally agreed.

It happened over the course of two weeks; two cameras--one belonging to the Wheelers and one borrowed from the Hawkins High AV department--along with all sorts of equipment were toted all around Hawkins. Claudia even chaperoned them on a Tuesday night so they could get footage at the Hideout.

When all was said and done, and the documentary was ready, they all posted up in the Wheeler's basement with pizza, popcorn, and soda.

The freshmen each gave speeches before starting the projector, laughing along as the older boys heckled them.

"So without further ado," Dustin announced as they took their seats. "Behind the Music."

The video started off with hazy colors and sloppy B-roll, a title card courtesy of Will's artistic talents, and Lucas's narration about the most metal garage band in the state, and then immediately cut to footage of the band performing at the Hideout.

"Shit we look so good!" Gareth got to his feet and clapped immediately, then grabbed Dustin by the shoulders and shook him.

"Quiet, sit down!" The others shoved him so he would get back into his seat.

Over the course of ten minutes, they covered all manner of topics. From how the guys all met, to where they learned how to play, to how they chose their songs.

The basement was tense by the time they reached some more delicate topics; specifically, what the worst part of being in the band was.

"Eddie's a turd burglar," Dave sighed on screen. "Got a real stick up his ass...can I say ass?"

The video then cut to Eddie.

"Nobody listens to me," he whined. "I'm the oldest, the leader. Shit, I've been in the band longer than any of them have. This is my band."

Next was Jeff.

"He said that?" the younger guitarist scoffed. "He's one to talk when he tried to abandon the band and make it on his own a few years ago. Is he the worst member of the band? No, I think that's Gareth. He's our drummer and he can't even stay on tempo! Messes us all up."

It kept going and going, and as they watched each other absolutely lose it on screen, the members of Corroded Coffin all sunk into their seats in shame.

The screen faded to black and it was silent. So silent you could hear a pin drop.

Of course this was the perfect timing for Mike to shovel popcorn into his mouth.

Then soft strumming began; the screen faded into Eddie sitting outside of Hawkins High with his guitar, fiddling with it and then scribbling in his notebook.

"If it's so hard sometimes," narrator Lucas asked via voiceover, "why do you keep doing it?"

Gareth and Jeff entered into the shot from offscreen and Eddie's face went from concentration to joy seeing them. He waved them over and started talking animatedly. Dave was quick to join from another direction, immediately ruffling Gareth's hair as he reached them.

"Because of the music," Eddie answered in the voiceover, and then the scene changed to the shot of him in the drama room where he did his interview. "And because they're my best friends."

The basement suddenly got less tense, and the guys clapped each other on the shoulders.

The shot transitioned to Dave.

"I used to be a loser at my old school," he scoffed. "I had friends but...Corroded Coffin? I feel like I belong in this band. Belong with these guys. I haven't even known them for that long. That's gotta mean something."

Then Jeff had his own words of wisdom.

"I think I wanted to quit one time; when Eddie quit...it was hard, without him. And my dad said if I really wanted to make music work I had to work hard."

The scene switched back to the Hideout, in slow motion, as Jeff continued.

"Nothing good was ever worth it if it wasn't hard work. So yeah it's hard but we keep playing and keep fighting, and then someone farts and we laugh it all off and start over again.

The screen faded to black.

"Together."

[sonkitty]

The Sideburns Scheme Post #85

(For reference: The Sideburns Scheme)

Crowley, Good Omens 2, Episode 6, Every Day, bees

...

Sideburns Check

The sideburns are long, as expected at this point in the story. Neither sideburn reaches longest-length.

...

Brighter Red Streak Check

The more saturated red streak of hair can be found.

...

Hairstyle Changes

I am focusing on the style before Crowley changes his appearance.

The lighting has lost the greenish tent that the demons gave over the elevator when Crowley was inside it.

Instead of one tiny pocket of hair before those elevator doors closed, Crowley has two more obvious pockets of hair. The top hair swoops upward and tilts to Crowley's right.

...

Earthly Objects

(For reference: Earthly Objects)

As noted in the last post, the bookshop doors were open when Crowley went up in the elevator. Something somewhere made them closed again at the start of this episode. While Shax is not seen physically touching the doors or heard making a miracle sound to open the doors, the doors open with a sound that, to me, indicates it was most likely that she kicked them open.

That means those doors opened while Crowley was going up in the elevator. The bookshop now has an open broken window and its double doors open while Crowley is in Heaven. I don't know why it's important that these things are happening, but I think it is important and done on purpose by the overall story.

...

In Heaven, as an initiating touch for the scene, Crowley's left hand touches the wall of the elevator.

So, he's touched that bigger threshold with a physical touch while avoiding the buttons and doors.

He starts with a question, "Right, where do you keep your records?"

From this point onward during this scene, he and Muriel do not touch any physical earthly objects with their hands. However, what they do touch is their own reflections on the floor. In particular, Crowley keeps moving, occasionally pivoting with a squeaking noise using one of his shoes to indicate his altered touch with his reflection on the floor. Well, that's what I assume is the intent anyway.

My general understanding through my play is that Crowley is taking advantage of the reflections to handle the touches during their dialogue. In order to use this method, he is allowed to retie his Tied Hands three times. He makes use of having his back to the camera to extend or manage this play.

The first retying happens while Crowley is walking backwards. He does not make a point with his index finger, and neither does Muriel. He has a pocket made with his legs and his right shoe tip is visible, so that's probably what makes up for the lacking extended index finger. His Belt Head is visible, and there are plenty of potential Overhead Lights above and to the left of his left ear. If I want to find two in particular, I would pick the two visually pocketed between him and Muriel.

Muriel has an extended index finger before the rest of the second retying happens. Because the question occurs to me, I have checked that Muriel's pocket chain is also visible on screen when they make that point. Soon after, there are two cuts that could have the rest of the retying. The first cut is from a further distance from the camera where it's difficult to confirm if a clasp strikes a lapel edge. Crowley says, "It's fine." He had his back to the camera at the start of the cut. In the next cut, he says, "You're forgetting about the bees." Both of these cuts make sure Crowley's Belt Head is visible. The second cut gives him an Overhead Light.

For the third retying, Crowley is the one with an extended index finger, and he seems to extend the retying session due to how he keeps moving and circles around until he says, "unescorted." Again, the Belt Head is visible. He has two stronger Overhead Lights in the later part of the sequence to help further indicate that yes, he is extending the retying to have the clasp strike in this cut.

Another thing Crowley does during all of this sequence is make sure that he is in front of Muriel or visually on the camera's right hand side up until he changes the appearance of his clothes.

When the two are on screen together after Crowley's clothes change, Crowley is behind Muriel with Muriel now being on the camera's right hand side. Additionally, Muriel has both of their index fingers extended.

In the cut before Crowley changes his appearance behind a pillar, the tie is blurry with the tassels ensured to be off screen. The tassels are the thumbs of the Tied Hands.

After Crowley changes appearance, his gold tie is pocketed into his gray jacket. He has a gold headband, and he no longer has a belt. The Belt Head has moved to become his headband while he is in Heaven.

Crowley's chosen new sunglasses actually make his snake eyes more obvious. His snakeskin boots are gone and replaced with sandals, so that we can actually see his feet.

Near the end of the cut, he hops as probably a last altered touch to the ground. Now that his Tied Hands are pocketed, he can't use that reflection method anymore with the retying.

...

This Heaven visit will give an overall strong clue about Crowley's special sight and The Window Trick. In this scene, Crowley's body language as he slithers around this floor talking to Muriel indicates that he is seeing Muriel. Instead of seeing Muriel, he's sensing Muriel with his eyes. To communicate this special sight, his sunglasses lack reflections of Muriel or reflect the lights in this well lit space.

I credit the Heaven visit as a strong clue because it was the first one I found that led me to take notice of the moving people reflections in Crowley's sunglasses when he enters his car at the end of this episode.

...

The bees dialogue is a meta reference to the Good Omens book. Speaking of books, as an update about my reading progress in a desperate attempt to improve my play, I am currently reading Interesting Times by Terry Pratchett. That puts me at book 17 out of 41 of the Discworld series.

...

Story Commentary

I would think that Heaven is supposed to be an equivalent inside the pub despite its vast expanse. That way, Crowley's car is Hell, and the pub is Heaven. But I'll admit, I can't really confirm it for myself by trying to look at the clues from the story, such as where the lights are and when.

...

(For reference: Bookend Buddies - Crowley and Muriel (Part 2))

The below is largely copied from the first link above with some edits now that I understand how active the Tied Hands and Belt Head are throughout Good Omens 2.

As the two arrive in Heaven, Crowley makes sure to exit the elevator first. His foot decidedly makes sure to not touch the lower threshold of where the doors slid open. His shadow can be seen to his left side. When Muriel follows, they don't have a shadow to their left side at all. That could be a clue about their angel light.

Crowley quickly refers to Muriel's rank when asking about records. We've already seen Muriel know Crowley's name without us knowing how they got it. Now we see Crowley know Muriel's rank without us knowing how he got it. We're even going to see both of them receive each of these pieces of information later on this trip in Heaven.

Not long after the rank reference, one of the lines Crowley says is, "You're forgetting about the bees."

Crowley, how many times has Muriel helped you break into Heaven by this point?

I hope it's not more than one, but it's going to be awhile to get such an answer.

Muriel's "forgetting" are they? Does he know that Muriel knew about the bees before? Did they talk about it? Did they work together?

As noted in the Earthly Objects section, Crowley is pocketing his Tied Hands when changing his clothes. He's doing that because Muriel led him to that decision.

Neither one seems to truly remember the other, but both are guiding each other to certain ends.

...

The Bookshop

It's probably worth checking in with the events of the bookshop while Crowley and Muriel are in Heaven. After this particular scene for their entrance, the story goes back to the bookshop.

Gabriel is instructed to go and hide. Aziraphale eventually decides to leave the area to get a candelabra. Maggie seems to accidentally invite the demons in. Shax's posture is stiff and suggests she has retreated into preferring to not have any visible physical touches on earthly objects herself.

When Aziraphale returns, he finds out that the demons are entering.

As they enter, the standing chandeliers near the front of the bookshop are affected. The way I interpret this part of the story is that change is to convey demon darkness. It surrounds them as a collective aura.

Aziraphale addresses the circle, and it lights up in response.

The story shows that these lower-ranked demons were actually willing to retreat before Shax threatened to hurt them.

Who is on the other end of that circle? My guess is Saraqael though the Metatron is certainly a possibility. In season 1, it was the Metatron. While it could be him again, it's hard to be sure since I think the story has hinted that Saraqael is who can and does watch and look in on the bookshop from above the circle, notably during the episode 1 miracle to hide Gabriel. Plus, I think the Metatron is an outside force slowly entering the book that is this story during these particular events.

We'll see Saraqael approach Crowley and Muriel while they are in Heaven and before we see the Metatron.

This sequence ensures that it's understood the broken window is still broken and open, and that those two bookshop doors are still open. In fact, the doors still being open is confirmed in the last video frame before the episode 6 opening theme song.

...

That's it for this post. Sometimes I edit my posts, FYI.

...

Main post:

The Sideburns Scheme

[cammslush]

6REEZE Yandere series Part 3

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Content warning(s): Yandere themes (unhealthy obsession)

Let me know if I missed anything.

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Part III: Main Rapper - Xiao

"Good morning. How are you all doing today? I hope you all are well."

Such a simple greeting, uttered so beautifully, so gently, with a voice so sickeningly sweet. Such a simple greeting, yet Xiao's face couldn't help but slowly turn a pink shade upon hearing such an angelic voice from his earphones.

"If you're not doing well, I hope that I can make your day a little bit, if not very much better."

So alluring, so enchanting, that his ears immediately shut out any other sound besides your recorded voice, as well as the thumping of his heart against his chest.

"Come on, let's start the day off energetic."

Every single morning, he turns on his laptop just to listen to the exact same video before he gets ready, it's almost as natural as breathing. It belongs to an ASMR channel, your ASMR channel, the video itself being a sort of "morning routine call".

Being an idol is no easy task. Every single day is practice and practice for the next song, or for the next concert. Sometimes one can get deals to be featured in some reality show or magazine, which requires extra energy and social effort, the latter of which Xiao lacks.

"You can do it, one step at a time." No matter how tired he feels…somehow, just the sound of your breath through his earphones is enough for him to re-energize.

It's because it lets him know you still exist. There's that teeny, tiny chance that you too, are a fan of 6REEZE, right? Though Xiao keeps reminding himself that shouldn't get too ahead of himself.

He is physically unable to get up from bed and do anything productive without hearing this audio recording of your sweet voice assuring him that you will "accompany" him throughout his day. Nothing makes him feel better more than you, asking him how his day has been.

When in reality, those words aren't directed to anyone in particular. But who can blame him? Anyone will be so infatuated with your voice that they'll think you're talking to them only.

…It's a small part of him that makes him wonder whether he is still an idol, or if he has become the creepy fan.

"Hey Xiao, it's practice time," Kazuha told his fellow group mate, who sat quietly in the corner of the canteen.

"Okay," Xiao responded, but his attention was solely focused on his phone screen, "I'll be there in…5 minutes."

"But you and Venti are the main features of this song. We can't practice without you," Kazuha tried to reason with him to be punctual, but was met with silence.

"..." The white-haired idol really wanted to figure out what exactly was on his phone that Xiao was so interested in. Xiao was so focused that he didn't realize Kazuha was taking a small peek at his phone.

"[ Non-ASMR ] Just a chat stream"

That was the title of the livestream Xiao was giving all his attention to.

Kazuha didn't say another word and quietly walked away.

"Hmm…" Xiao watched as you read the live chat with a smile. He didn't dare to touch the chat box, he feels like you're too good to be reading anything he spouts.

Even when it's not an ASMR video, your natural talking voice, too, is too angelic for one to listen to anything else. Your voice is so soft, like a blanket he would cuddle as he falls asleep after another hard day of idol work.

"What do I think of 6 — is it a six?" You stumbled upon a question in the chat, "Oh, it's supposed to be a 'B'...then, '6REEZE'? Aren't they a really popular boy band? I hear my friends talking about them a lot."

Xiao almost had a cardiac arrest when he heard you mention that name.

You won't say anything good about him, will you? No, he's got ahead of himself again. You didn't even know how to pronounce their band name, so you probably won't even know a person named 'Xiao' exists—

"I remember one person in particular that my friend keeps fawning over is the one who always wears that cool looking mask. Can anyone tell me his name?" You asked, recalling the music videos your friend shows you nonstop. Looking through the chat, you hoped to find someone who knows.

As expected, a lot of your subscribers also happened to be 6REEZE fans too. Over and over again, chat messages saying the name 'Xiao' (some are completely capitalized for extra dramatic flair).

"Xiao?" If cardiac arrest wasn't enough, Xiao was ready to drop dead on the spot. There's no way you just said his name. If it was a regular person, something like this would've been completely normal. But this is you we're talking about! The you, who is Xiao's angel sitting on his right shoulder.

"It sounds like a name from Liyue. That's interesting! So the members of 6REEZE seem to be multicultural. Because I also remember there was a guy from Inazuma as well, right?" The words from your mouth keep flowing, but Xiao's mind still lingers on the moment you said his name.

He must be crazy, reminding himself over and over about something so insignificant.

"But yeah, it might be because my friend showed him to me the most, but Xiao looks the coolest to me. His rapping is really clear too, in my opinion," you said, so genuinely and from the bottom of your heart, "Then again, I'm not a boy band connoisseur. Maybe I'll give 6REEZE a try, now that you mention it."

Stop it. Stop it right now. Xiao might actually die. And he still needs to practice soon. You're gonna try listening to 6REEZE music now, and you think his rapping is really neat…?!

Xiao has this sudden urge to get up and practice his ass off. He's counting on that one chance that you watch the upcoming music video he is supposed to practice on, so he can show off to you. He couldn't bear to turn your stream off just yet, but knowing that he now has a reason to put his all into being an idol—

"Xiao? Why do you look so…" Aether saw the look on his friend's face as he finally walked through the doors to the huge practice hall. "Fiery? Up for practice?" Heizou finished the sentence.

"Also, why are you late?" Jean, the manager, glared at Xiao, "It's been 9 minutes past the scheduled practice time." Kazuha whispered to her, "I tried to call him, but…"

Xiao wore his signature cold, nonchalant look on his face,

"That doesn't matter. Come on, let's get this over with."

[arabidfangirl]

Thoughts on Mile and Apo after the KinnPorsche World Tour Manila show:

First, let's talk about their looks...

Apo is the human personification of this meme:

He's so pretty in real life. Like, I know he's already so good-looking in photos and videos but nothing compares to him in person. I literally gasped when I saw him. His beauty is unreal.

Excuse my shitty mobile's camera (I also had to zoom in for this) but I just had to share this man's face.

Mile's physique is so... He's broad. He might not be as broad as he was pre-KP but I finally understood why he looks bigger than Apo even though they're practically the same height. His waist is tiny, too. Kudos to whoever's styling him because his pants do his ass and legs so much justice.

Also, he's really pale. It's funny because he looks like Edward Cullen in my videos because the spotlight on him just created a glare for my camera.

Trust me when I say I made so many attempts at trying to get him to look less glare-y in this video.

Second, let's talk about their stage presence...

Apo was truly born to be a star. The charisma just oozes out of him. I can't pinpoint how exactly, but I just know there was a point during the show where I just had to stop recording to stare at him in awe. I've met celebrities up close and personal before but this was one of the few times I was truly starstruck.

It makes KinnPorsche the Series even more special because the world would've lost this presence from its screens.

Mile, on the other hand, reminds me of that quote about Marilyn Monroe being able to switch her persona on and off. By that I mean, Mile knows when to turn on the charm so all eyes are on him and he knows when to dim it so he doesn't steal the spotlight from others. Like, I don't know how else to say it. I mean, obviously you'd still see him on the stage but it's like he's giving you permission to look away from him for a bit.

I don't know, man... But it does make me curious how'd things would have gone if he decided to pursue his rockstar dreams.

Lastly, let's talk about MileApo...

I'm gonna be real. When I went into this (the concert), I didn't expect to feel the same level of kilig (or giddiness) I experienced watching the show. I figured a lot of those feelings came from the post-prod additions, like background music and romantic editing. Yes, Mile and Apo have chemistry. But that can translate differently when you see them in real life.

(Lemme just give a quick example. I have been a TayNew fan for years. I think they have great chemistry, specifically romantic chemistry. But when I saw them earlier this year, I realized that their "real life" chemistry was very bro-coded. Like, they're really good friends who are very comfortable with each other.)

So imagine my surprise when I realized that Mile and Apo's chemistry off-screen is just as striking. There's a fondness in their interactions with each other that I would posit as something akin to domesticity. There's something so wholesome about it, something so safe and secure... It's hard to put into words but it was like looking at a warm hug shared between two people who've found comfort in each other.

Again, I don't know... This was just my observation. I mean, I'm also a firm believer in the concept of a soulmate doesn't have to be a romantic partner, just someone who makes you whole. It looked like that to me. But hey, you don't have to take my word for it.