#ALSO I FINALLY UNBLOCKED HIM ON THE GAME

[afterglowsainz]

hi you said you were free to request someone you haven’t mentioned so i’m wondering if you’d be willing to write something for trent alexander arnold?? anything you won’t but i love angsty -> fluff

i look in people’s windows | trent alexander-arnold

summary: you struggle to move on from your break up with trent until one day you have to face him at your favorite coffee shop

warnings: none

word count: 1.2k

a/n: this wasn't very specific which was great (in a way) because the angst to fluff plot gave me an idea for my tortured athletes series! (i also didn't mean to make this so long, but i hope you enjoy it)

the tortured athletes department series

you're not proud to admit that you still stalk your ex-boyfriend's friends on social media just to see a glimpse of him. it wasn’t that hard considering that you live in liverpool, if you wanted to see his face you just had to go outside and he will be there in any billboard. but there was something more personal about casually watching him on someone’s post. sometimes you just look up liverpool’s account to see him during matches or making fun challenges.

you consider blocking him, blocking his friends and everyone else remotely associated with him, you even did it for two full weeks, but it was impossible not to see him everywhere you look. sure, he was not showing up on your phone, but he was in the streets, he was on the tv playing a game, or acting in a random commercial; he was even in the supermarket next to a product he was the face of.

trent alexander-arnold was absolutely everywhere and he was impossible to escape.

so you unblock him and everyone else and you just see him. not everyday, of course, you weren’t gonna get over him if you stalked his socials every day.  maybe once every week you look up one account, and then another, and then another, and you see him, and once you do you turn your phone off and do something else and maybe, you forget about him for a moment.

sometimes you wonder what would happen if your eyes met one more time. would you realize you got over him? would you fall back in love? would he even say hello?

“what can i get you?” the barista behind the counter asks you.

“hi, an iced vanilla latte, please.” you smile. the guy nods and charges you, moving quickly to the next client.

you sit down in a booth while waiting for your name to be called, and play with your phone in the meantime. suddenly, a huge shadow blocks the natural light that was hitting your face and you shift your face from your phone to the stranger who sits in front of you, only it wasn’t a stranger at all.

“y/n.” trent whispers your name with a smile.

you were a bit shocked to see him in person, like it was the first time you lay your eyes on him all over again.

“hey.” you respond. he chuckles at your lack of words.

“i knew it was you the second i heard your voice.” he points at the register. “an iced vanilla latte as always.” he repeats your coffee order and only then you register the situation.

before you have a chance to say something, you hear your name being called throughout the whole coffee shop, announcing your order was ready.

“stay there.” he says before you have the chance to even stand up. “i’ll go get it.” you didn’t know what to say so you just nodded and he made his way to the front, claiming your coffee and getting it to you.

“thank you.” you say when he was finally in front of you again.

neither of you say anything for a few seconds. you didn’t feel uncomfortable at all, but it did feel odd to be there with him, not saying anything.

“nice jacket.” you mention, just to fill the silence.

“you like it?” he unconsciously touch it and smiles at you like he always did.

“mhm, it's pretty.” you take a sip from your coffee.

“i haven’t seen you in a while. how are you?” he asks.

you were about to answer when you got interrupted again by the barista calling his name to get his coffee. he quickly made his way to the front and back, sitting in your booth in no time.

“what is that?” you ask with a grimace, looking at his order. it was some sort of juice? you couldn’t really tell.

“it’s a pomegranate lemonade.” he shrugs. you arch a brow and he shakes his head smiling. “don’t look at me like that when you drink vanilla flavored coffee.”

a laugh escapes your lips and you just agree, still confused by his drink of choice but not making any more comments.

“how are you?” he repeats his question.

“good.” you lie to him. “you?”

“bad.” he says.

“oh?” this took you by surprise. “what happened?” you try to remember if maybe he lost any big game recently or if something happened to any friend of his, but you can’t remember anything of relevance.

“i just…” he exhales and takes a sip from his lemonade. “i’ve been missing you. a lot, actually. a bit more everyday.”

your face grows hotter by the confession and you just look at him without reacting.

“why are you saying this?” you ask the first thing that comes to your mind.

“because.” he shrugs. “why not? i’ve miss you so much since we broke up i can’t think of anything else, and now i feel like i’ve think you so much i actually manifested you and now we're both at the same coffee shop at the same time, i mean, what are the odds of that, you know?” he rambles and you feel your heart beating in your throat.

to be fair, this was the same coffee shop you both used to go to while you were still dating. and you both still live in the same city. and you’ve been stalking him on social media so you might’ve manifested him as well by accident.

“you woke up brave this morning, didn’t you?” you joke lightly and the shadow of a smile takes over his lips. “i didn’t know you still think about me.” you say instead of confessing your feelings back at him.

“you’re not an easy one to forget.” his eyes clocked in with yours and you felt like everything was the way it used to be.

why did you even break up in the first place? looking at his chocolate eyes you couldn’t even remember anymore. you finally clear your throat to speak, but he interrupts you.

“you don’t have to say anything right now,” he pleads. “i don’t… if you’re gonna say something that’s gonna break my heart for good, i don’t think i’m prepared to hear it just yet.”

his eyes look away from yours, but you’re still watching him.

“i think about you too.”

your voice was barely a whisper, but it was loud enough for him to hear it and look at your eyes, straight into your soul.

“we should talk, no?” you knew he was battling a triumphant smile but he kept a straight face for you. you nod. “wanna take a walk?” he points to the window with his head, but you shake your head.

“it’s too cold outside.” you say and he laughs, shaking his head as well.

“you and cold.” he rolls his eyes amused.

“hey.” you slap his arm playfully. “i have sensitive skin.” you defend yourself.

at that moment you felt grateful for this little plot from destiny that had brought you and trent together again. you didn’t have to wonder ‘what if, you didn’t have to avoid seeing him downtown, you didn’t have to look into people's windows anymore. his eyes meet yours one more time, and now you know.

[sc0tters]

Better Off Apart | Luke Hughes

summary: the long awaited day has finally come! Luke is in New York and the Devils are set to play the islanders, but now a third person as slotted themselves into your love equation.

request: yes/no

warnings: this became a bit of a sad chapter, Luke is a boy who doesn’t know how to process his emotions, Mat gets jealous and also doesn’t know how to handle that. The reader is finally in a position where she’s reader to move on.

word count: 1.76k

authors note: I wrote this in an hour I was so excited. I saw that in some requests you guys actually wanted the mc of this to get with a player from the team but I sort of put my twist on that. The rest of the full length chapters for this story have been planned out but I think it could be cool doing a few blurbs for these two, so if you want to see anything in those let me know!

previous part | next part

It had been circled in red pen.

The date on your calendar had been marked the moment you got the NHL calendar announcement.

It was the date that you had been counting the sleeps down to like a child counting down the sleeps till Christmas.

It was the date that you felt so excited for but were also so nervous for that you wanted to go to the top of the Empire State Building and scream.

It's the date that the Devils were coming to town to play the Islanders.

It's the date that you were going to finally see Luke again.

You knew that you shouldn't have been excited, shouldn't have let your grow full and your palms grow sweaty at the thought of seeing him again.

All of your efforts to forget about him were now nonexistent as you spent moments every day staring at his social media's.

After a drunk night out with friends you unblocked and unrestricted everything that had to do with him, when you woke up much more sober you simply couldn't find it in your heart to or in your head to shut him out anyone.

A few nights ago whilst being sat in front of the tv with a meal from your favourite restaurant, you did something you never thought you would.

You wrote Luke a letter.

Just like you had for each of his teammates.

So you sat and you wrote, making sure to mention everything from how you felt to why you left. Writing that letter was better than any type of therapist as it had brought up things that you had seemed to compartmentalise. There were seven different editions of this letter.

The first two had to be rewritten because you zoned out and came back to see that your tears had soaked the pages.

The next three had you swearing like a sailor as you told him to fuck himself for making you fall so deeply in love with him.

The sixth letter just didn't feel right. You assumed that it was the lack of sleep that was getting to you, so like any mature adult you got up and went to bed deciding that the letter writing efforts would continue the next day.

The seventh and final letter was perfect, you were honestly tempted to email it to your high school English teacher you were that proud of it. It was the perfect way to tell Luke that you were okay that this was goodbye and that you didn't hold anything against him for how he treated you.

Yes you told him that he had hurt you but it helped teach you that some loves just simply weren't worth it.

It was like you had been put through the grieving cycle over the last fifteen hours as you learnt to accept that Luke just wasn't on your cards and that it was probably for the best.

Mat hadn't slipped up from his role of your new best friend, if there wasn't a game on Thursday you two would go get dinner and then sit at his apartment playing card games until the early hours of the morning.

The Canadian had quickly learnt why you were so popular in New Jersey amongst the players and it was one of the things that he was actually so attracted to.

Yes Mat found himself growing more enamoured with you by the day and despite his best efforts you never seemed to notice it.

You never noticed how his eyes lingered on you far longer than appropriate for just friends, or how he'd glare down every man and woman who dared to even look at you when the two of you were out in the town. You never noticed the way you squeezed the life out of his heart the moment you came to Mat's apartment in tears one night as you missed Luke.

The Canadian was hurt, it wasn't even the fact that you weren't interested in him that haunted his thoughts at night. It was the fact that you gave your love to someone who was so cruel to you.

But Mat put on a comforting smile each time he was forced to listen to you spill your heart out on his sleeve as you couldn't get over your failed attempts to get over the Hughes boy.

At one point the Islander player was ready to rip the bandaid off and tell you everything.

He wanted you to know that you were loved.

He wanted you to know that you were wanted and it was by a man who was sat right next to you.

But deep down inside Mat knew that those words would mean nothing to you unless they came from the Hughes boy.

That was the thing about love that was so cruel. Here were two people that wanted nothing more than to be happy. But the reciprocation of those emotions from the people they craved them from the most weren't there.

Yes you loved Mat but you weren't in love with Mat and that different meant everything to him.

So he kept his feelings to himself as he watched you count down the days until the Devils came to town.

He sat there dreading the moment he had to face Luke on the ice, Mat had been watching the meditation videos that you had sent him on repeat as he tried to memorise the various methods of calming himself down that he’d had to use in other to not hit Luke.

It wasn’t because Mat wanted to protect the boy, in fact he wanted to do the opposite. He wanted to hurt Luke for all that he had done to you. The Islanders player wanted to see the Hughes boy finally feel some sort of remorse, but he knew that if he laid a finger on Luke you’d get upset. So he was going to have to try to behave.

You woke up practically running out of bed ready to take on the world when the day finally arrived. Part of you was excited to see your friends from the team too and that’s what you told yourself made you so happy.

Luke swore he was going to throw up when he got on the team bus. Sure he was excited to see you in the flesh once more. But after seeing how the every gossip account swore that you and Mat were dating after someone spotted you on another on of your excursions, hope for him was running out. So he spent the last week forcing himself to accept that fact that this was all his fault. Yes he wanted to blame Mat instead but he knew he couldn’t.

If Luke couldn’t be the one to love you then he then simply hoped that the man who loved you, loved you even half as much as he did.

The young Hughes boy felt trapped inside of his mind as he had yet to reveal how he felt about you to anyone. It was partially due to the fact that he knew they’d all laugh at him especially after how he treated you. Yet there was another much larger part of Luke that didn’t want to admit it because one he admitted that he did indeed like you, it meant that it would really be real. At least for now he could act like you were all just simply a figment his dreams and hopes for in the future. He told himself that all he needed as a simply protein shake and his usual pregame playlist blasting through his headphones at a volume that was enough to make his mother cringe as she reminded her son that she didn’t want him going deaf.

Jack noticed the way that his younger brother had gone quiet since he stepped on the bus, the whole team did. As bad as they all knew it sounded none of them bothered checking in on the boy as they all just put it down to him not wanting to see you again.

If only they knew, right?

The youngest Hughes boy knew your routine on game days from your time with the Devils. It was something that he made an effort to learn early on in his attempts to avoid you.

He hoped that you had the same routes mapped out here because Luke knew he wouldn’t be able to handle it if he caught sight of you.

Now more than ever though it was because he knew he’d start crying on the spot.

Luke wasn’t a crier naturally but he had no clue how he was going to say his apology to you. All of the emotions that you made him feel just made him want to cry due to the sheer panic that was going through his mind.

As the team walked out of the away locker room he heard it.

The sound he had grown to miss.

The sound that brought him this warm sense of comfort in his stomach that he could only describe as funny.

It was the sound of your laugh.

Mat had been telling you a story as you two made your way over to the home dressing room as you had forgotten your folder in there when you took some guests around earlier.

As Luke saw the sight of you it was enough to knock him off of his feet as Jack walked into the back of him “dude,” the middle Hughes boy groaned as he lifted his brother off of the ground totally unaware of the fact that you were stood there.

It was like time stopped for the youngest Hughes boy.

He watched as your eyes locked with his and your lips formed a smile as you sent him a nod.

Mat had seen how you had stopped listening to his story were just simply looking in front of you.

It made the Canadian angry as in that moment he wanted to throw out all of those stupid meditation lessons.

He knew his next move was childish but he didn’t care he sent Luke a harsh glare as Mat threw his arm around your shoulders.

That moment dropped Luke back into reality as he felt like he had just hit a cement wall.

“Luke c’mon!”

There was a game to be played but it seemed that it was quickly coming off of the ice as well.

And you were right in the center of it,

But you didn’t even know it.

[i-smoke-chapstick]

‘HOLD UP,

-GOTHAM!VICTOR ZSASZ X READER-

⋆ 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒 ; You want to get him back, after breaking his heart.

⋆ tags/warnings. GOTHAM!victor x female reader. small blurb. Reader is a bad person, and isn't very self aware. Angst with a happy-ish ending. Victor being rightfully mad at reader, but also whipped. Subby victor undertones but not really. He’s just at her beck and call, and readers toxic with it. Reader has commitment issues. Inspired by a dream.

♫ “What a wicked way to treat the boy that loves you / don't like being walked all over lately.” Hold Up by Beyonce

It was your fault. You just wanted a break. Ever since you were younger, you remembered how it would feel. Get into a relationship; then leave. Simple enough. You didn't put too much value on the fleeting romances in your life. No, you had better things to do. Better things to aspire too in Gotham.

Then you met him. He was everything you could've wanted, dangerous, hilarious. Maybe he wasn't model level pretty or whatever, but he was for the most part, perfect. You'd thought you would've finally found the cure to your avoidant attachments.

Turns out, he was a ladies man. It enticed you more. And you seemed to entice him just the same. Your playfully banter, the way he'd chase you. You weren't opposed to it; until the invasions of privacy, the incessant calling. The man couldn't leave you alone.

Maybe that's an exaggeration, actually. You just weren't very talkative in a relationship. You had other things to attend to- and you loved spending time with yourself above all else. You'd thought being a hitman and all, he'd feel the same. Keep it casual.

But no. The man was...obsessive. You thought he would be able to deal with being left on read for a few hours, but you were wrong. He'd crash your apartment like he owned the place. He'd ask sarcastic and rhetorical questions. They all boiled down to why haven't you been paying attention to me?

You didn't expect him to be so...clingy.

And in a turn of events, you didn't like it. It reminded you of every other man before him, desperate for your attention.

So...you ended it.

In a text message.

Okay, not very bright of you. He's not a normal man. He could break back into your apartment anytime. But, thankfully he never did. And everything in your life settled back to normal, just as it had been before him.

Until you realized what you lost.

It started off normal enough. You were happy to have time to yourself, not walk into your apartment with him rummaging through your fridge. You were alone again, as you always had been, single and ready to flirt with any other man. Spice up your life again.

That was...until you began to think.

Think about how he smelled like gunpowder and cologne. Think about how he was the most dangerous assassin in Gotham. The most threatening man in the game. He was rich, kinky, and would've killed for you. And he was whipped for you. Any other woman would be screaming at you for letting him go so casually.

You understandably felt idiotic. But you were smart, and you were beautiful. And you knew about the cuts on his wrists and forearms. The man was a masochist, not just a sadist. And, not to toot your own horn, but everyone you asked to come back to you in the past always had. And something about Victor screamed that he disliked desperate women; no, he enjoyed the chase. He enjoyed the feeling of being hurt.

You unblocked his number, he hadn't blocked yours. You sent him a cheap text to come over and talk. It'd been a few days since the quick break up.

The familiar feeling of adrenaline bubbled inside you when he left you on read. You continued.

"I have something to talk about." You typed, fingers shaking. You'd played this game a million times over. Playing it with a hitman would be no different. He was strangely one of the more human humans in Gotham.

You set your phone down, and heard it chime. You didn't open it. You kicked you're feet back. You'll wait.

You heard the latch on your window open. You were reading a book, head engrossed. You'd almost forgotten about the text you'd sent. You looked up.

"Hey." You replied. He stared at you, expression unreadable. He cocked his head.

"About the other day-"

"Stop." He said, slowly. You looked at him, biting your lip. He was reasonably angry. You'd dealt with this reaction all before.

"Victor." You chimed, standing up. "I'm sorry."

Before he had a chance to respond, you launched into an apology. You apologized for ending it like a bitch. You apologized for not paying enough attention to him. You promised to be better. You through in a few fake excuses. Same routine you'd done every time.

And just as you suspected, it worked.

He stayed quiet after your apologetic outburst, looking at you. His mouth was only slightly agape. He let out a shakey breathe, and it was strange to see him so vulnerable.

"Promise me," He finally drawled, "You won't try this shit again." His voice broke, an indicator of the war in his head.

You held back a knowing smile. No, you pressed your lips into a desperate thin line.

"I promise, Victor. Please. One more chance." If you looked close enough, you could swear you saw him blink away tears. He was standing incredibly still. His nostrils flared, and his hands swung by his side- nowhere near his guns. It was a good sign.

"...Okay." He nodded.

"Okay?"

"Uh-huh."

At this, you let yourself hug him. You felt his hands dance around your waist- slack and loose- before tightening almost too tight. You could feel the wetness of his tears bury into your shoulder.

You thanked god. You two would be alright. You'll have a good life together, you reassured yourself. This wouldn't happen again.

Well, not for awhile, at least.

[lavender-teardroplettes]

Si x Anteo hcs when

.....ovo [SCREAMING] you're making the brainrot worse

But- I knew this would happen ovo some nsfw stuff will be under the cut.

Let's start with in game Anteo:

Dude has like- zero chance to get into Si's pants. One- Si's demisexual and doesn't do hookups and after just a few minutes of talking to Anteo he realizes that he's just a waste of a pretty face. He tries giving Anteo a fake number TWICE before Anteo corners him and demands Si give him is phone so Anteo could enter his phone number in SI's phone before calling himself so he could have it. And yes, he does take a picture and everything for the contact so 'he could get more of his pretty face." Si tries blocking him, but it's around the 4th or so new number where he gives up and unblocks Anteo's main phone just to get it to stop.

Every advancement Anteo makes gets rejected and put down, which just pisses Anteo off more. Sure, he likes a challenge, but he's never met someone so just...NOT interested in him and it drives him crazy, to the point he starts stalking Si and harassing him at work/in places he frequents on his off times, going as far as breaking into his house once Si starts using the buddy system to avoid him in public. The police do get called, but they're easily bribed with money, so they no longer are a viable option and turn a blind eye every call they get. Anteo might be wealthy enough to repair the things he breaks turning his tantrums, but Si isn't, so a lot of his things end up getting thrown out or needing to be replaced over time. Si considers getting a restraining order and moving, but when Anteo gets word of it this sets. Him. OFF. At that point, Si's getting kidnapped in the middle of the night and chained up at the ranger's station.

It's kinda up in the air from there, but I see Si gaslighting the fuck out of Anteo when he learns more about what makes him tick. Freedom's not an option, but house privileges? Check. Stopping him from doing the ai art/crypto bro shit, check. Going on dates that are actually kinda cute despite Anteo being a clingy and overprotective, pushy asshole? Check. Funny enough though, I do see Anteo and Si having a weird like, tsundere fueled heart to heart about why Anteo is like this, and it might be the Stockholm Syndrome talking, but Si might even feel a little SAD for him.

Now, unfortunately for Si they're actually into a lot of the same kinks and general likes when it comes to bedroom activities while being a good sub to his doming style- something Anteo takes advantage of to get him hot and bothered and thinking about crossing that line with him now that Si is HIS. And when they DO finally fuck, Si's teaching him the importance of an AFAB orgasm whether Anteo likes it or not. OvO which....hehehe trust me I think he will.~ I see there being a 50/50 of him either edging Si until his limits are broken OR both of them seeing just how long Si could keep cumming for with overstim sessions. Both of them have a lot of stamina so....I could actually just see them fucking all day. They match their freak levels. uwu Si's gonna get Anteo to let him peg him- I swear to you all. ovo

Now, for THE BOY ut!Anteo

Si and ut!Anteo get along MUCH better without all the bullshit canon Anteo puts him through. They're both nature and animal loves, so I see them crossing paths at a volunteering event- maybe being paired up to look after a small group of birds or something. They'd get to talking and would probably exchange numbers for future get togethers as friends, since I see them being cute and awkward friends in the beginning. Si doesn't have a lot of people he can regularly do outdoorsy stuff with, and Anteo appreciates his company. They're both quiet people for the most part, so they vibe well together and would probably be comfortable being silly around each other. Si also helps keep Anteo on track, sometimes texting him little reminders because he knows how scatter brained he can be.

I see Anteo teaching Si how to surf tbh. Si's always wanted to learn but knew he would look goofy trying, so he's glad someone like Anteo could show him without making him feel AS embarrassed about bailing. I'd say the would have met sometime around winter/spring, so at this point they'd known each other for a little while and have become regulars in each other's life. I think, while watching the sun start to set on their boards (close to shore of course surfing at night/early morning is dangerous), Anteo might come to realize that he had feelings for Si. It would make for a cute confession, shyly talking about it as they dried off and packed up, and I think they'd share a sweet, but shy and chaste kiss afterwards. uwu

Si's pegging him ovo oh Si is definitely pegging him. They're both shy about it at first- Anteo because he's never done it before and Si because it's always something he wanted to do but hesitated because he didn't want to deal with possible gender dysphoria. ovo All of that goes out the window after they properly take the time to prepare Anteo for the SMALLEST option they could find while being able to accommodate Si as well (which would be a double ended one uwu one side's MASSIVE but it does the job well). It's an experience for the both of them, I'll tell you that. ovo I might have to draw it actually, words don't do it justice. The cute way Anteo asks Si to top afterwards each time is just [chefs kiss] and when Anteo learns Si can naturally peg him while in heat? Oh boy, he's glad they've worked up sizes I'll tell you that. ovo

Pets. They have a lot of pets together with properly spaced out and enriched enclosures and a dog they take hiking with them after finding him wandering alone and without a home on one of their outings together.

[shuttershocky]

Alright, I'm finally in the swing of IS3 things. Im pushing higher waves, I've got a decent winrate, I no longer fear Highmore! So I tried for Last Knight. Got him to the end no problem. Wore his 1st phase down super slowly, cleared the stage around him. Then he hit 2nd phase and walked straight past my army of frozen ops and I lost. What am I actually supposed to be doing on that fight??

Last Knight is the most bullshit boss in the entire game so it's no surprise lol

Anyway, in Phase 2 he becomes unblockable but he only keeps 1/4th of his Max HP, so that's when you take advantage of him being vulnerable to almost every status effect and debuff by hitting him with stuns, slows, or an instant freeze like Gnosis' S2. Mostima's S3 is notable for being able to slow him even when she's frozen (which gives you plenty of time to kill him if you have her module) while Goldenglow's drones can continue attacking Last Knight even when GG herself gets frozen.

Also, keep in mind that Last Knight actually inflicts Cold when attacked, not Freeze, so you actually have to hit yourself twice to freeze yourself. Think slow-moving, very heavy hitters for him (he also has 4k DEF so if you don't have the -80% DEF collectible, you WILL need to bring debuffers)

[the-sky-queen]

JUST FINISHED EPISODE 6!!! Before I unblock the Knuckles Series tags, I wanted to give my closing thoughts.

Overall, I really REALLY enjoyed this! :D I laughed a lot, the tension was good, the animation and choreography was incredible, and everything was just all around amazing. I wish we got to cut back to Green Hills every now and then though. Getting a little side plot with Sonic and Tails would have been cute and very nice. But I really enjoyed Wade and Knuckles' dynamic, though I think Knuckles should have had a bit more development and screen time.

One thing I absolutely ADORED was the theme song, along with the constant theme of older music scattered throughout the series. I gasped out loud when I saw Wade's discman. (My sister still has one!) I grew up listening to CDs. When it was time for a roadtrip, my family would grab one of our big CD cases for the car ride. So looking at that theme song animation made my heart absolutely soar. ❤️ And while I didn't recognize any of the songs they played in the episodes (save for a couple), I can really appreciate the vibe. I also grew up listening to my dad's music. Stuff from when HE was growing up. It just felt right to have Wade into all kinds of music.

I have only a few complaints. First: Wanda was kinda really, really annoying. She got better as time went on, but she was really bad at first. She felt like a kid who never grew up. Like seriously, why is she still picking fights with Wade??? You're both adults! Act like it! The whole dinner scene over all was just painful to watch. It felt waaaay too similar to some dinners I've had with my own family, which yes, points for accuracy I guess, but I just felt like Knuckles the entire time. Awkward, wishing they'd just quit arguing and enjoy dinner, feeling out of place. I'm not sure if that's what they were going for or not. (The fight scene to protect the candles was very nice though :D)

Second: Pachacamac. I dunno, he was really annoying, and not at all like his power hungry, war mongering, cold, game counterpart. I also feel like he was really unnecessary? He probably could've been written out really easily. His 'funny' bits weren't even that funny and there was so many other opportunities for comedy during the episodes. He was really unneeded.

Finally: Almost everything in episode 4. The . . . low quality rock opera thing???? I'll admit, that the way they did all the practical effects and stuff was really cool! But everything else? WHY. Why are we doing this? Why are we singing? Why are we cutting Knuckles out of almost an entire episode? Why?????? I feel like this episode could've been done so many other different ways. HOWEVER! I really enjoyed the bit at the end. Seeing Wade stand up to Sinclair was AMAZING and I was cheering him on the whole time.

I kinda also wish they'd hinted at the third movie a bit. For a bit of set up. But they did clear up that GUN didn't always go by GUN, which I guess fixes our 'how did GUN kill Maria if they were only created after the first movie' problem!

Anyway, save for a few rough patches, this is a really good show! (Probably would've been better with one episode per week though. Can you imagine the suspense factor?? Would've been EPIC!!)

[retropobor]

Screw it, I'm an art blog now, have some more art (UTY pacifist Route Spoilers for part of it, also there's a lot of text you have to read in order to have this thing make sense)

This is my most recent work, made just last night. It's not perfect, but I'm proud of how it turned out, Although I feel as though pretty much everything needs an explanation here, especially if you feel like you recognize someone here.

For those of you who don't know (AKA pretty much every one of you other than maybe @yaboi88900) I run a DnD campaign. A very very poorly balanced DnD campaign. With a mix of heavy amounts of homebrew, and an inability to get anything playtested, I have my fair share of monsters who have almost resulted in a TPK, so I decided to put them all in an artwork to memorialize them.

Left and right: Blood elementals

A while back I was watching a a dungeon dad video about a creature known a blood elemental, and I thought they were cool, so I added a combat encounter against them. I was expecting quite a few people, so I thought 1 per person in the 4 person party worked out, and made a combat encounter against 4 of them... 2 people showed up, and as it turns out a CR 5 Blood elemental is actually pretty dangerous against a level 5 player, so even after killing 2 off, it was still a brutal combat session. There wasn't much else to say about it though. In my opinion, it was rather forgettable.

Middle (Bottom): The Cabinet Man

Ironically the blood elementals weren't the worst encounter of the storyline. Again 2 people showed up for the session, because during this time, we were struggling on player count. Basically everything after the blood elementals was this whole Lemon Demon based plotline with the BBEG being the main character from No Eyed Girl/When He Died, and the quest giver being the main character from Touch Tone Telephone (I can go more in depth in another post if y'all want to know more about it). As you are probably beginning to realize that fine figure in the center is based on Cabinet Man. He's one of if not the first stat block I ever made, which means he's not balanced in the slightest. I'll save the details of what this Cabinet Man can do for a different post because there's a lot on him, but for now know that he's never met a foe he couldn't kill before his second phase. Also he gave my players a crippling fear of arcade cabinets.

Background: The Demon Core Golem

I never actually ran this one because it's too late game for any campaign I've ever ran, but even without running it, just about everyone who's seen the stats has an innate fear for this thing and for good reason, because this thing is strong. It only has a few attacks, but all of them deal a lot of damage, and as expected for something named after the demon core, this thing is highly radioactive, meaning it deals massive amounts of unblockable poison damage if you get near it, and it can give out radiation sickness (CDC accurate radiation sickness at that). Survive all of that, and it does the job its father could only dream of, and becomes a literal nuclear bomb, at which point pretty much all you can do is run. Yes it is as powerful as it sounds. No I don't know what I was thinking when I made this.

Middle (Top): Ceroba Ketsukane, Defiler of Pacifism

This one's the most recent of the lethal encounters, having the related plotline finished tuesday. So Undertale Yellow came out, and I absolutely loved it (if you couldn't tell already), so I decided to adapt bits of the game into a plotline in the campaign (albeit with some lore and plot edits to fit the world, and because total plagiarism just ain't my style). Well if you know anything about the pacifist route, the final boss is Ceroba who dons a mask and becomes incredibly powerful* The party was sweeping through Ceroba's first second phases, and most of the third phase with ease, so I decided to quit sugar coating it for the second half of the third phase. When I was making the stat block for Ceroba I gave her an aoe attack, and perfect for her, all the players were grouped together in one place, so I decided to use that AOE attack, and in one round, I accidentally reduced the entire party other than the sorcerer in the backlines to hit point levels ranging from death saving throws to 4 at the best. Safe to say I re sugar coated it after that. And for anyone wondering, Ceroba was spared, and is now safe and sound in Ketsukane mansion, and she may or may not become a quest giver for some more side quests, Idk yet.

[bords4life]

Part 2

Third person pov

As soon as y/n and Thomas left the room all hell broke loose. Trevor paced around for a few seconds before taking a seat and letting his head fall into his hands. Meanwhile Alex was holding a very angry Jack back from charging at his best friend while numerous profanities stumbled out. All while this was going on Jim still seemed to be more interested in the food, and Cole had a very puzzled look on his face.

“Hold on…Jim why are you not freaking out over the fact your daughter has a kid?” As the words fell out of the boy’s mouth the two Hughes boys whipped their heads in their father’s direction.

“Did you know?” Quinn spoke first, his voice still sounding slightly hurt from realizing he let his baby sister down.

“Yes.” Is all Jim said, it was enough to get questions going from everyone but Trevor who has not looked up since he sat down.

“How could you not tell us? How could you keep this from us for three years?” Jack started rambling out questions, he felt like his brain had froze and he couldn’t comprehend the fact that not only his twin kept this secret from him but also his parents.

“Y/n asked me not to. I didn’t find out until we got the call from Thomas that she was in an accident. I don’t know what happened between all of you but I respected her wishes. If we told you then that sweet little boy was not allowed to be a part of our lives.” Jim softly spoke, he didn’t look at either of the boys; instead his eyes were shifted towards Trevor, they held a slight look of hatred but also pity.

Jim set down his plate of food and took one last look at all the boys before walking out of the room. Leaving the animals to themselves.

Trevor’s pov

“DID YOU KNOW?! So help me god Trevor that you were not aware of this!” Jack spoke at me with complete and utter disgust.

Truth is I didn’t know, I could’ve though. I blocked her right away, I was so ashamed of myself. I lost her and was on the verge of losing the boys. So I lied. I lied to everyone. I told them that before I met Emma that y/n and I had a one night stand and she got attached. The boys were obviously mad at me at first but after some months they got over it and Emma just saw her as someone who was obsessed. Emma was the one who blocked her on my phone, when her and I broke up last year I unblocked y/n and I guess her message from years ago finally went through. She wanted to talk, and said she had something to tell me. Now I know what it was.

“No Jack I didn’t know, if I did I would’ve done my job.” I tell him, finally looking him in the eyes.

“Obviously what you told us years ago isn’t true Trevor. Y/n was not just some one night stand to you. What really happened.” Quinn demanded from me, you could almost see the steam coming out of his ears yet his face remained calm.

“Y/n and I were in a relationship. We were together for about two years. We kept it a secret because of you guys. Falling in love with your best friend and teammate’s sister was not easy, but I did. However being away in Boston was hard, then one day I met Emma. She was the opposite of y/n, in those months I fell for Emma. I still loved y/n very much but she wasn’t there for me like Emma was. I knew I had to end it but I didn’t want to let y/n go. I was selfish, I know and I will regret it for the rest of my life.” I tell the boys not being able to look at either of the Hughes boys, even Cole and Alex are looking at me disappointedly.

Y/n’s pov

Thomas and I have been walking around for the last little bit. We didn’t go back to the box when the game started. Instead we went and found Colton. Of course we found him trying to pull Noah away from the merch store, the little dude was clutching onto a Dach jersey.

“Having some troubles Coco?” Thomas snickered using Noah’s nickname for him. At the mention of his name Colton finally was able to pull Noah away, he threw him over his shoulder and walked over to us.

“Nah this is all just a little bit of light work” he spoke trying to hide his embarrassment.

“Hi my sweet boy!” I cupped my adorable child’s cheeks. He reached for me with his chubby little hands, Colton lifted him up and passed him over to me.

“How about we go watch the rest of the game from ice level? I have some tickets, you too Coco” I tell all my boys as they follow me to ice level to watch the remainder of the game. I couldn’t go back to the box, I have no idea what happened after I left but considering I ran into my dad at some point I can only imagine what hell broke loose when he left.

The Devils ended up winning, which I was extremely happy for Luke but at the same time I was hurt for Kirby. And man Noah was letting it known he was not happy, he was letting the refs have it who of course couldn’t hear him; and if they could they would not be able to understand him.

Besides Colton, Luke was Noah’s hero. Even though I never intended on Luke finding out, I understand why Thomas did what he did. Luke fell in love with Noah from the moment he laid his eyes on him. I couldn’t rip Noah away from Luke especially with all the help I needed, and for some reason Luke was one of the few people who could get Noah to sleep. Over the last year we have really drifted apart, it wasn't on purpose it just happened and I shouldn’t have let it. I figured since he was close to playing with Jack in Jersey it would be better for my own selfish reasons.

Thomas, Noah, and I were waiting outside of the Devils locker room. Colton had left to meet up with his parents plus he knew I would have to face the rest of the boys and figured it would be best to not be there. Thomas stayed because he didn’t want things to get out of hand, he of all people knows those boys can get heated.

We had been waiting for about an hour, I was just chatting away with Thomas about work and Noah’s new interest in baseball which Thom was not a fan of. All of a sudden my hand went cold, it was fairly warm due to the fact Noah was holding it. I looked down and he wasn't there, panic set through me immediately.

“Mommy!!! Wook!! Uncle Wuke gave me a pwuck!!” Noah came running up to me, thank godddd that kid scared me.

“Noah you can’t leave mommy like that okay.” I bent down and told my son while finally breathing.

I stood back up while picking Noah up and handing him off to Thomas. That kid can’t be trusted on his own. I looked over at the direction Noah came from and saw my baby brother standing there in his game day suit with his hair having a bad case of hemlet hair. I slowly walked over to him and gave him the biggest hug ever, which was quite hard considering I am about 5’5.

“I am so proud of you, Lukey.” I tell him with the biggest smile on my face.

“Are you kidding me?! Luke knew too?!” Well there's the shrilling annoying voice of Jack Hughes.

I turn around to see the rest of the boys there too, Jack however looks like his head is about to explode. I walk over to Thomas and tell him to go find Kirby. As he walks away I look over at my twin.

“Yes Jack, he knew. He was at the hospital when I had the accident.” I tried explaining.

“Do not use that excuse, you did not want me there. I heard you pleading with mom to not let me come in the voicemail she left.” Jack spat out at me.

“I wasn’t excusing it, but believe me I did not want him knowing but he was there when Thomas found out what happened. And you have no right to get mad at me, you chose Trevor over me. You chose Emma over me. You are the one who called me drunk out of your mind calling me a whore and saying I needed to let Trevor go. So no you don’t get to throw yourself a pity party. I am your sister, I am your fucking twin sister and you left me.” I spat out with tears forming in my eyes. Behind the boys I saw Kirby running towards me by himself, I am guessing Thomas has Noah with him somewhere.

Kirby ran up to me engulfing me in a hug while my knees buckled down. This is not what I wanted to happen, I never wanted them to see me weak. I have spent the last three years building myself back up and in minutes my own brother destroyed me.

“Stop it Jack, you had three years to apologize and you never did. This is all on you. You have missed out on so much. Y/n finished school all while having a kid, she has the job of her dreams, and she has raised the most amazing kid ever.” Kirby came to my defense pulling me towards the Blackhawks dressing room, however we had to pass the group of boys and as we did I felt a slight tug on my arm.

“Y/n can we please talk?” I looked up at the boy I used to love, the boy I thought I would be with forever. I always thought looking him in the eyes again would be hard but Noah has his eyes. At first it was hard but I came to love those eyes for a new reason. I searched his eyes to see so much sadness.

“No you’re too late Trev” I softly spoke to him.

Tag list: @hockeyboysarehot @emsully2002 @jayrami3 @goldenbrokenheart

[255940g]

Aftermath of 'Stuck on the nemesis'

You do need to read the fic that inspired this one for this fic to make sense. HERE it is!

Read it on AO3: HERE

summary: The tfp kids are stuck on the nemesis. No Decepticon expected the earthlings to be so difficult.

The kids looked at Soundwave from inside their clear container, then as the other Decepticons left the room closing the door leaving them with Soundwave.

Miko, as usual, decided to break the silence “Well I don’t know what I was planing but this was against it all.”

“Miko,” Jack signed in slight exasperation. Soundwave merely turned to the monitors in front of him. Not even bothering to unhook Lazerbevak. The walls were slippery and clear. Glancing Jack and Miko knowing that they were actually caught this time.

Jack broke the silence this time “We might as well continue what we would have done.”

Miko latched onto this shiny new topic instead of the hopelessness of their current situation. “OH my GOD yes. I actually kept track of how often they did it. I tried talking to Bulkhead about keeping track while we were out, but he was very uncomfortable and said he wouldn’t.”

“I would have done that with Arcee but I know she views Optimus like a Dad, so she would have also been highly disturbed. Maybe it doesn’t translate correctly?” Jack paused for a moment to gather the gratuitous the next sentence required “The amount of eyefucking they’ve done this past week was off the charts.” I nodded frantically while sitting down on the floor and placing my backpack on my lap. While keeping track of what I could understand off of the screen SoundWave was working on.

“Yea. I know when I’m hanging with Ratchet they have their intense glances at each other.” I finally piped up. Absently noting that SoundWave briefly paused in typing before resuming with a more … intent air about him. ‘Interesting’ I thought to myself. Continuing to speak piecing together a few different scenarios “OH! There was this one time. I can’t even describe it. Jack, can you pretend to be Optimus for a moment” Turning to Miko “This will really give you the picture of what happened.” On the word picture, I aggressively made eye contact with Miko, made a square with my thumb and pointer finger to gesture in the direction of Soundwave. There was a slight spark of understanding but mainly confusion in return.

Preceding to exaggerate the scenario “I almost wanted to hack the cameras to borrow the security video” Still aggressively making eye contact with Miko and stressing the word camera and video and made another vague gesture to Soundwave, hoping she’d connect the dots. “Just so I could show you two, but reenacting what happened will be just as good. The proportions between Jack and I are about that of Optimus and Ratchet.”

Miko’s smirk and very slightly holding up her phone greatly reassured me.

Sending a quick smile I turned mostly to Jack “You game to pretending to be Optimus?”

Looking between the two of us, Mikos hidden camera, and the bot where I vaguely gestured and the completely unblocked view of the screen he was working on, the dots visibly connecting with the small smile spreading across his face. “Yea. I’m all good with that. Especially as our cafe time has been rudely interrupted.”

He placed his backpack ext to Miko and walked back. I saw that Miko now had Jacks phone in her hands. Brilliant!

I also placed my backpack next to Miko while handing her my phone and slowly demonstrating the opening code.

Getting next to Jack I continued idly as if I wasn’t staging anything at all. ‘Jack, man, we gotta do the voices. They are so unrealistic that it’s hilarious.”

“Definitely. As long as you do them with me. I feel you do a better impression of Arcee than either of us can do.” Going along with the verbal distraction.

“Hey! Was Bulkhead there? I’ve been getting detention somewhat frequently recently.” Carelessly shrugging while keeping the camera stable and saying carelessly “Whoops.”

~Four hours later~

In the middle of us talking Soundwave slammed down his hands on the keyboard. Before abruptly walking over to our … box that we were imprisoned inside. He reached in and grabbed each of us and placed us in one of his arms. Our legs were hanging down in free space. He noticed our bags and haphazardly gave them to each of us only seeming to care that we were holding onto one.

Thankfully our shared high school experience allowed great practice for keeping our phones hidden and in our hands.

Soundwave wordlessly walked towards a wall and summoned a ground bridge in front of a wall. We walked into a Mexican standoff with Starscream and a few of the identical Steves all pointing their guns at the Autobots. As a collective, they turned to us as we appeared in their location.

Soundwave continued to walk towards the Autobots with us dangling in one of his arms, completely ignoring the entire exchange between Optimus and Starscream. Without even bothering to stop Soundwave handed Miko off to Bulkhead lifting her by the back of her shirt, me off to Bumblebee in the same fashion, then Jack was off safe in Arcee’s arms. Sharply turning around Soundwave walked back towards the ground bridge that he summoned. Ignoring all the attempts that Starscream made to get his attention. I quickly caught Miko’s smirk and looked over at Jack to see if we really should do it. The answering smile made the decision for me.

Miko and Jack called out almost in sync “Bye Uncle Soundwave!”

I called out just after them purposely more childish “Buh bye Uncle Soundy! We’ll have to get together for another cafe sesh again!” The other two piped up their agreement saying this was barely the basics to understand.

Watching in glee as Soundwave only matched away and into the ground bridge faster.

As soon as the ground bridge closed behind us Miko piped up “Optimus! We have presents for you. We have videos of whatever Soundwave was working on while we were captured.

“What! Either way, stop dallying and get the children into the beds for a check-up.” Ratchet called out. While the rest of the team looked at us in concern and shock.

“No idea what he was working on, but we caught it all on camera. We need to send it to you.”Jack continued.

“Though please mute it. We had to blab on and on about literal nothings to cover our tracks.” Miko continued

Seeing the concern on their faces “Yea, like that hour-long argument and the tearful reunion and apologies over which Hogwarts houses each of you belong in.” I called out. “I didn’t know you could cry on demand, Miko.”

“The wild patch of blueberries that Arcee stopped by but maybe they aren’t blueberries cause I puked a few times. But the thought is what counted as she knows I love blueberries.” Jack continued

The times I spent ranting about every minute detail about SmashMonkey and their genius music even down to their sheet music.” Sighed Miko. “What good times.”

Arcee muttered confused “I’ve never taken you to any patch of blueberries?”

Bulkhead piped up “But not long ago you were ranting that there were too many different instruments with incredibly simple and short parts to them?”

With a snap of her fingers, Miko proudly retorted “Exactly. We were good little chatty prisoners. We just gave them nothing useful and usually made up.”

This time Arcee spoke “How’d you get Soundwave to let you go? I’ve never seen him lose his cool or walk so fast?”

With fake innocence, Jack responded “No idea. We were just gossiping. We didn’t have the time to bring out the play on words, puns, or even a single direct quote from memes.”

Huffing on her amusement “Just let Ratchet look you over before any more time passes. He’ll have a conniption if he dosen’t.”

There were three already prepared human-sized beds for us to get onto. Reluctantly we walked to our doom when Bee asked “What’s up with calling Soundwave, Uncle?”

I answered “He was sort of babysitting all of us while we were in a cube. It reminded me of my Uncle Ernesto - I stole him from a movie. Obviously, their shared traits meant they must have some sort of spiritual connection making him an Uncle. Then because Jack, Miko, and I also have a spiritual sibling-hood it means Uncle Ernesto is their Uncle as well, so in extension, it means Soundwave is their Uncle too.” Nodding solemnly.

Jack just started to laugh. While handing his phone to me to get the videos to Ratchet and Optimus.

~later when the children were sent home under the more alert and watchful eye of their respective Guardian. No particular time was chosen but it is late at night or early in the morning depending on ho why you look at it. Either way, only Ratchet and Optimus are at the base.~

“What are the children doing - “ Ratchet was cut off when he walked into the hanger. There were no children, but Optimus was beginning the work of carefully going through the video files the children smuggled to them.

Needlessly Optimus stated, “I’ve started to review the footage the children have retrieved for us.”

Ratchet: “Why isn’t it muted? Do you want to listen to whatever the children have said to have driven off all mechs Soundwave to the brink of insanity?”

Mikos loud exclamation cut between the two of them “You’re right! Ratchet is a Grumpy Grandpa!!”

Ratchets helm snapped to the screen “What?!” he cried.

Raf’s voice said a little quieter “It makes so much sense doesn’t it. However, I’d have to add onto the grumpy grandpa bit. He’s a grandparent who has a highly important and busy job along with several children and grandchildren, but he seems confused as to how he even managed to get one kid let alone several.”

Jack agreed “That really is what seems to have happened. Obviously, Optimus is the dad. He radiates those vibes.”

Miko agreed fervently “The vibes are all dad ones. And like Ratchet he doesn’t know the vibes he’s giving off along with a very important and busy job and several children to give the exact equal amount of attention to or else the other children will feel abandoned.

“Old friend,” Optimus murmured, “Before landing, we knew that humankind had an accelerated and exaggerated sense of community and family, but I never thought that they would think of us as an extension to that.”

“What do you mean? They are mocking me!” Ratchet exclaimed. His point was theoretically proven when Raf joked “The ultimate weapon, a disappointed, Scottish, Grumpy grandpa Ratchet,” then in a terrible attempt at a Scottish accent and only vaguely mimicking Ratchets voice continued “Bulkhead, I needed that.”

“This is only the first 30 minutes of the recordings to go through and already they have said and shown that the three of them consider us their family.” Optimus continued with a rare gentile smile on his face.

No one knows but Optimus saved some of the recordings to his personal banks, to recall later.

---Idk how to fit this in the fic but just before leaving for home after everyone was cleared by Ratchet healthwise, the children once again say “please mute it.” Then bring up the point that the nonsense they were saying was purposefully annoying and was enough to break Soundwave in a few hours.---

[jungshookz]

Hey Cee, I don’t want you to answer this publicly if you don’t want to, but I hope this reaches you. I don’t mind my story being shared, I just want you to know that you are not alone.

Last year, I also got into my first real romantic relationship and it was literally horrendous. I loved that man more than I loved myself, I allowed him to lie to me about multiple women, take advantage of my kindness, his girl best friend bullied me and lied about me and destroyed my reputation with his friends, family, my friends and he picked her side until I put myself in the hospital over what she did to me and I lost everybody trying to keep my relationship alive. I lost my connection to BTS (men who taught me to love myself and who gave me so much joy in my life) chasing this man who did nothing but demonise me, weaponise my response to his disrespect, invalidate my feelings and then lovebomb me on good days so that I’d stay. I tried so hard to wait for him to wake up and change but change never came, he only expected me to become more and more tolerant of his disrespectful behaviour.

We broke up over and over, every time I was blocked on everything because I’d call crying over and over begging to talk it out while he’d go game with his friends and say awful, awful stuff about how crazy I was just because he did something that upset me. All of his friends took his side, from speaking to exes to not including me on his twitch streams or game clans or publicly showing he had a girlfriend. I was crazy, I was controlling, I was a demon in their narrative, just so that he didn’t feel guilty about leaving me to cry for days on end while he gamed and got high. It got to the point where I wasn’t allowed to be unblocked on Facebook or Instagram so I couldn’t see what girls he was following or talking to, and so he didn’t have to show he had a girlfriend.

I really felt like I was going to d-word either by my own hand or by the stress because of how toxic and disgusting his behaviour was towards me, so believe me when I tell you that I understand. I understand and I’m so sorry that a relationship where you were supposed to feel safe and loved left you so down that you abandoned what seems to be your calling and your passion - writing. I’m so sorry you didn’t get the sweet love that you so often write about, and absolutely deserve.

I came to your account a lot, you’ve probably seen my messages missing you and hoping that you were okay. Your stories are part of the reason I finally decided I needed to leave. I want the love you write about, not the love I was offered by a manchild. Thank you so much for making me realise what I deserved with your works. You deserve that too.

I walked out with trust issues that will likely never heal, commitment issues I never had before, no desire to get married or have children despite desperately wanting those things for years before I met him. He traumatised me and completely changed who I am as a person.

I just want you to know that you will be ok, even when you have those days when it hurts and it feels like the whole world is pressing on that hole in your chest and making it hurt so much more than it has been recently. You are so dearly loved, and you were so missed by so many people while you were away. You are an inspiration and a large chunk of joy for a lot of people who follow you and support you and we will continue to support and love you no matter what, you give us so much with your stories it’s the least we can do. Please do not feel guilty for leaving us, it was not your fault, you were in love (I suspect) and did what you felt you had to do.

Sometimes, love makes us do stupid things. And when you love somebody more than they could ever imagine, and more than they could ever return, you will do everything trying to latch on to what is simply not meant for you just because you feel that connection so strongly. Whatever happened in your relationship, do not blame yourself. You did everything you could have, and I promise you are better off alone than with somebody who makes you miserable. Nobody, and I mean NOBODY is worth destroying your mental health and I’m so sorry that somebody you loved and trusted has put you in a position where you now have to heal from whatever happened.

I am so glad that you are safe and ok, and if my story resonated even a little, I’m so sorry. Nobody deserves that pain.

Welcome home, Cee. You were sorely missed 🖤

ok this is gonna be a long one but it’s 3:30 and i am wide awake and just flooded with emotions so 

i read this when i was on the train earlier and it made my eyes glaze over not just because it was so saddening to read about what you’d gone through but also because i just felt so much love and warmth from your words. thank you so much for sharing your story and even taking the time to write this out and send it in to me… i’m so, so sorry that your first real romantic relationship turned out to be like that and i’m even more sorry that it’s completely changed not only how you see yourself but how you see the people and the world around you. you did not deserve ANY of that treatment and i hope that one day you find a love that that makes you feel genuinely happy, safe, and comfortable.

i’m so relieved to read that you’re out of it now and (hopefully) healing, and i’m glad that my account and the stories that i left behind could still be there for you even when i couldn’t be here myself. i wish i could’ve been there for you back then, but i am back NOW and as you’ve probably already seen, back to writing and posting again!!!! so i really hope that the blog can continue to be a source of love and comfort as you continue to heal <3 i know i probably say it a lot but every single one of you guys mean so much to me and i really would be nothing without you — you guys are part of the reason why our little corner of the internet is always so lovely and warm and supportive and i am so grateful that we have each other even if we’re separated by screens. it is still so wild to me that some of you have been here as long as you have… time really does fly when you spend it with people you love! 

everything that you said that happened to you completely and 200% resonated with me. the demonizing, weaponizing, invalidating, and lovebombing — everything that he said to me still sits heavy on my mind and i find myself wondering how someone can claim to love you and want the best for you but also call you names and degrade you in the same breath. 

part of the reason why my love for writing had completely fizzled out was because he’d say my degree in undergrad was completely useless and stupid and that if i was so good at writing i would’ve had something published by now, but clearly i didn’t — so obviously i wasn’t meant to be a writer. and if the man that i loved and who was going to be my future partner said i wasn’t cut out for writing, then it had to be true because he just wanted me to succeed, right? i’d think about it all the time and i’d try to write again, but absolutely nothing would come to mind and at one point i had fully accepted that he was right and that i wasn’t a good writer at all and that perhaps i should just continue working at the CONSTRUCTION SITE (hardhat!cee era) that i was working at because at that point we’d moved in together and i had to pick up two jobs while trying to get through my senior year. my parents had completely cut me off, i’d lost friends and other friends had distanced themselves from me and i just felt like i had absolutely no one but him to guide me. and when i got into my program for grad school he doubled down on the uselessness of my degree and i still remember him saying that one day, i’m going to fuck my wife in the back of my mercedes-benz while the little english literature student is at home babysitting our kids. i suppose that i stopped writing love stories because i thought the love that i was experiencing was how real love was like and it felt wrong to be writing about love the way i usually did when clearly real love wasn’t that way at all. i am so sorry that i left the way that i did because i really just disappeared one day — i hope that i can make up for lost time now that i’m back :-) 

i do want to tell you guys a little bit more about what happened because i feel like i owe you an explanation!! i really want to share as much as i can with you instead of just being like :p yeah i was in a bad relationship :p anyways back to writing :p because just like you, this first real romantic relationship completely traumatized me as well and i know i’m not the same person i was before i met him. 

to discipline me, he made me swipe for him on tinder to find a girl for him to go on a date with (because he said that he HAD to do it to smarten me up) and he ended up sleeping with her to get back at me for talking to my friends about all the questionable things he’d said/done (he read all my private texts with my friends and said that it wasn’t normal and that no good partner would ever do this to anyone, hence the ‘disciplining’ method he came up with) and to this day i know he thinks he didn’t cheat on me because he’d “broken up” with me at the time  

he’d break up with me over and over again over silly reasons (the last breakup we had was because he was trying to motivate me to lose weight??? because i needed to show him that i could lose weight now so i could do it to get rid of baby weight after giving birth to his baby one day???)  but in between the breakups he’d reach out to his ex and it’d be okay because we were technically “broken up” (despite him still living at my apartment rent-free and us still going out and doing everything a couple would do) and so technically he wasn’t doing anything “wrong” and at one point i was actively trying to get myself pregnant in hopes that having his baby would force him to change and now that i’m typing it out i’m realizing how crazy i became just to try to stay with this horrible abu$ive man!

there’s an endless list of things that he did that i could give you but that would literally take hours and hours but my god i remember he ripped up our photos because i finished watching a show on netflix without him and i sat there until like four in the morning taping them all back together and i just remember how embarrassing it was going to staples and asking the guy to help me laminate these shredded photos up 

anyway i won’t go on because this has already turned into a literal essay but thank you once again for your kind words of love and support — i’m very happy to be home and to be surrounded by such a caring community. let’s continue to heal together <3 

[ask-paradox-and-friends]

Oh boy here we go.

Just cause I want to do this with a funny. If I made a game base around traveling across realms and worlds and oh boy here we go.

THE EINHERJARS BATTLES FINAL ONES RANKED IF I MADE THEM BASED ON WHAT I KNOW ABOUT THEIR CANONS AND POWERS ALONG WITH TIPS TO HELP. Easy to hard.

Tsugu:multiple projectiles and can clone self. Lots of her abilities are fire based however.

Saito:pretty much the kiryu fight from yakuza hits like a truck quick as hell and despite having a projectile just shifts between fighting styles and sword skills to win same tricks. (Weak to ice power cause dragon soul and won't target the women in the party till last.)

Pico:long range sniping. Several kinds of projectiles. Along with fire and holy attacks. But he's half metal. Take a guess what he's weak too.

Katio and Garou:garou has every cqc skill and various chi attacks he also is a master of his first style and mixed it with his newest one so he counters all Melle attacks and will send you flying. Kaito meanwhile is a freaking soul borne battle. Long sweeping weapon attacks multiple weapons. Also elemental attacks. Have fun.

Naruko:multiple clones her pelting you with projectiles and like tsugu she teleports everywhere. Warning most projectiles is wind so she shreds defenses.

Sunblood:huge armour the only weak point is the head which is 20+ ft off the ground unblockable lasers homing missiles large scythe and AOE crystal blasts. Also he flips the controls or the screen (he's aware of the 4th wall.)

Mai:fastest and strongest of them all. Has stronger versions of the crews skills. But you have to beat the human and God figthers first so... eh.

Dearil:he's very strong and durable with surprising speed for how early in the game you'd meet him also 20+ shadow creatures coming from freaking everyone and your own shadow attacks you. Also HES IMMUNE TO FIRE ELECTRIC AND LIGHT ATTACKS he's also got a resistant to wind and ice attacks. Dosent help his basic attacks can lower defense.

Paradox:multiple limbs with each one haveing different attacks (arms swipe legs stomp his wings shoot air current his tail smacks his multiple heads blast you with every FUCKING spell in the game and his stomach mouth blasts you with non-elemental ki lasers) also he's immune to all status aliments outsides of stat debuffs he's resistant to all elements minus holy and fire and every limb regens. Be happy he's slower then your party.

[auxchamp]

i hate ff7 rebirth

I finished FF7: Rebirth finally. After loving Remake, I was super excited about this one, but it was about when I hit Cosmo Canyon I started to sputter out. By the end, I just put the game on easy and rushed the ending. I usually try my best not to be a hater in general, but I need to wordvomit all this out. Below are in order-ish the big reasons I feel sour about this whole thing.

It takes away from Rebirth - So, something my partner mentioned while waiting for Rebirth; it felt like one of the themes of this game could be fate v free will. Well, free will lost this one. Everything is closer to the original story than it did the end of Remake and there's nothing to show for it. What was the point of fighting the giant whispers at the end of Rebirth? And Biggs and Wedge were spared from death... one to die OFFSCREEN in a fucking SIDEQUEST? and the other just shot in the back for no payoff. "What's my place in this world?" well it's to fucking die and then the person you were talking to to make funnie quips as he runs away from your murderers.

Zack - This goes along with the first part, but I don't see any point in him being in this game, other than fan wankery. The opening scene and the fight with him and Cloud vs Sephi were super cool! The only thing that it does for me narratively is add Kingdom Hearts-level confusing bullshiterry to the story for no other reason than to be confusing bullshit.

Cloud sucks - Man, fuck Cloud from right after the flashback until the ending. I know he's got shit going on but... in the OG, it felt like Sephiroth just had a small, subtle influence on cloud during most of the game (except right before Aerith dies). Here, it's about as subtle as a gunshot. He just sucks and isn't fun to watch. It's NUTS how the rest of the party just....... sits on the sideline and watches him murder people, almost murder party members and almost every black cloak he comes across and act like a general prick through large chunks of the game. Again, there was a dark brooding in the original they replaced with way to over-the-top edginess here for... nothing but negative effect imo.

What the fuck is up with Sephiroth - He's pretty much a fucking god already! I think they felt like since this is a multipart release, they needed to have him more physically there for pacing and motivation reasons but... He already feels like a god. We have seen him go one-winged angel, saw his cocoon pre-god form already (WITHOUT BIRTH OF A GOD PLAYING, why), he seems like he can do whatever he wants. I get that Cloud physically handing over the black materia to his true self is a willpower win, when it happens, but... what the fuck can he not do already? Ghost army, merge worlds, kill people in other timelines, OVERRIDE TIME ITSELF? And each time you kick his ass, nothing happens. He just discards that husk and goes away. Nothing like ending two games in a row in a zero stakes fight.

Bad gameplay - I've got a few complaints here, some were also in Rebirth but show off more here. First off, playing as anybody but Cloud, Tifa or Yuffie sucks. Cait Sith is miserable in every way, Barret can't dodge worth shit, Aerith's attack is super miserable, Red XIII mechanics aren't fun. Second, this trend that a lot of modern games have: 5% bonus here, +10 stat there... the weapon skills are just mostly boring and not fun. I miss rebirth's system, it felt like it had more going on. Thirdly on this topic; some of the fights just sucked. Like, unblockable attack that is hard to dodge, and when you do get hit, the enemy gets like 10 hits on you while you are completely stunlocked. I don't feel like Remake had as many fights like this in the game. Finally, on this topic, getting interrupted also felt like a huge problem, especially with healing. Losing the ATB, MP and not getting a heal due to getting hit with a regular enemy attack is bad design.

Bad Ending - I'm okay with bummer endings, but jeez. The confusing bullshit just undercut any emotions that I would've had.

Painful side stuff - A large chunk of the side stuff wasn't fun to play in my opinion. Chocobo gliding, racing, moghouses, queen's blood, the piano, and a large part of the protorelics just didn't do anything for me. For them to say this needed to be split into three parts and then fill the game to the brim with bland stuff like this is wild.

I don't give a fuck about Glenn - Fuck this guy and fuck Ever Crisis.

Overuse of One Winged Angel - yeah we get it, it's lost all of its impact.

[shuttershocky]

So, how did being Dad to a Boy for five days straight go?

I've been replaying it while on holiday for the Lunar New Year, yeah.

I've always had complicated feelings towards God of War 2018. Hack and Slash / Character Action is my favorite genre of action games so to see the most established western hack and slash move away from that in favor of Dad of Boy's really slow combat with the camera SO DAMN CLOSE TO HIS SHOULDERS like we're playing Resident Evil 4 and seeing websites calling it an upgrade to more "thoughtful" combat really grinds my gears.

I also disliked how Dad of Boy feels so affected by modern AAA game design's obsession with RPGs. There are RPG elements now where equipment has stats to min-max. Every battle ends with XP GAINED on the right side of the screen. There's a leveling system based on the overall strength of your equipment that I really, really hate because it's not actually based on the strength of your equipment, but each equipment's "level" factor (for example, an accessory with worse stats but a higher rarity will give a bigger boost in level than a lower rarity accessory with better stats), and this matters because rather than a measure of how powerful you are, enemy behavior changes depending on the level gap. If an enemy is 3 levels above you with a purple health bar, their attacks deal more damage and become unblockable, rather than their difficulty being based entirely on the raw difference in your stats. I would ignore that anyway and take on some purple HP bar opponents if I could, but coming back to an encounter later with a higher level and seeing an enemy I couldn't defeat literally have behavior changed to become way easier after I caught up in levels (suddenly their unblockable attacks become parryable!) was fucking bullshit. The difference in strength from a level gap should be the strength in levels, not having attacks changed to become easier if you've caught up. Fuck.

That being said, I actually like the story direction Dad of Boy takes, which was many old fans' complaints about the game. They're always like "It takes itself too seriously now, Kratos isn't any fun anymore" okay but the very premise of Dad of Boy is fascinating. The young Kratos would literally grab a random woman fleeing the wrath of the gods and throw her into some gears to keep the gates from closing, the fact that they made God of War 2018 a sequel and not a reboot, where the shadow of Kratos' actions in Greece that led to the destruction of the Greek pantheon and the death of the entire country haunts him, is so damn cool.

I just really, really love the concept of seeing THE Hyper-Murder Man resurface years later as a father and be forced to confront that his sweet-natured son Atreus, who he thought took entirely after his mother, turn out to have the same violent temper and arrogance that he once did.

Sure, Zeus and the Greek gods had it coming the way Odin and the rest of the Aesir currently have it coming, but Kratos recognizing the soul-crushing pain his path of vengeance took him through and wanting to save his son from that, and yet not having the emotional intelligence to connect to Atreus, finally gives him a Herculean battle that he can't solve with his fists.

Shut up about Sony specializing in movie games for a second, Kratos is terrified by seeing even a little bit of himself inside his son, but the only tool he has in this fight is martial discipline because being a Spartan is the only form of self-control he's ever known. Yes ,Dad of Boy being ashamed of God of War the video game sucks, but Kratos being ashamed of being the God of War as soon as he loves someone and sees it affect them is so damn interesting. Control the God of War in his son? Kratos can barely control himself. You wonder where the old Kratos went and then if you stun a Wulver and go for the instant kill Kratos grabs the werewolf by the jaw and rips it in half while building Spartan Rage and you're like "Ah he's right here"

I just really, really like the idea of doing something so ambitious with such an established character with years of history behind him. Old man fueled by parental love really wants to break the cycle of violence when he can't stop breaking necks is an idea I'll always get hooked on.

Plus, Kratos has the smartest man in the world's head hanging from his belt trying to give him dad advice in between telling him the undead are all coming from his left. That's pretty funny.

[dootznbootz]

hades 2 anon again!

first of all i want to clarify an important detail: hades 2 gives you two paths, unlike hades 1 which only gives you one. initially the objective is to go down, passing through the underworld until reaching the house of hades where chronos is. however at a certain point it's said that olympus needs reinforcements, so the path to the surface is unblocked. there you pass through land and subordinate ships of chronos to reach olympus. it's possible to do either of the two paths. of the characters i'm going to mention:

scylla: is in the underworld, she's the second boss on this path

circe: is on the surface, she's a helpful character on this path

heracles: is on the surface, he's an interaction character similar to Thanatos (who will start attacking the monsters. other characters like this are icarus on the surface and artemis in both paths. nemesis also does this sometimes)

polyphemus: is on the surface, he's the first boss on this path

hecuba

i had forgotten to mention it but a post reminded me of this: hades is going with the version of the myth in which hecuba was transformed into a dog and became one of the dogs that follow hecate. in the game hecate has gale (weasel. In the myths she was also human before) and hecuba (black dog). and i know the dog is hecuba because mel uses the names gale and hecuba when asking ody where they went since they're not at the crossroads like they normally are, to which he replies that they're patrolling. it's been a while since this interaction and hecuba an gale still haven't returned to my game. it kind of made me think how weird it must be to have been a mortal from the trojan war, to look at hecate's dog and know that that's the trojan queen...

ody and heracles

on the surface,at one point you meet heracles (he's not in a fighting chamber). he's kind of harsh with you because he says he's already dealing with things on the surface but he doesn't do anything with you. at one point, while you are in a chamber to fight monsters, he appears and starts fighting and killing monsters. the bonus of this is that whoever kills the most monsters earns the most coins so you have to be quick to get coins. i managed to kill more than him the first time so i don't know what Heracles' reaction is if initially you are slower than him. anyway, if you're faster he will recognize you as a companion and the next time he appears, he will treat you well and will be satisfied that at least someone else is concerned about the situation on the surface

i'm telling you this because 2 or 3 interactions with heracles later, mel finally told ody about seeing heracles on the surface. ody talks about how he's really famous, half god and half human, and stuff like that. mel talks about how the gods entrusted the surface to heracles, in a way that implies that even though hermes asked her to go to olympus, they don't seem to trust her to do it. ody assures her that the gods are likely just being cautious. afterward he tells mel to be careful with heracles. i don't know if ody ending the dialogue this way is just him worrying about mel, if it's because of certain worrying events in heracles' history, if it's because heracles is kind of an unknown in the big scheme or if heracles causes damage in the player in his interventions. i'm in doubt whether heracles does damage or not because most of the time it's a bit frantic and i don't pay attention to whether the damage is because heracles appeared out of nowhere with a club hitting the ground or if it's because of the various monsters following me

in this dialogue it implies that heracles isn't a deity in hades, as mel mentions that he's supposed to be dead and ody kind of responds in a "oh he's heracles! not even death stops him" vibe. as far as i've played heracles is the only known mortal hero that ody has mentioned

ody, achilles and pat

some people were hoping for interactions between ody, pat and achilles...but well, i have news guys! after i went far into the underworld a few times (i haven't defeated chronos yet) and interacted with hades (who, as shown in the trailer, is actually trapped) at one point mel dreamed as if she were hades at the moment the underworld was invaded by chronos. that's actually what happened because when talking to hades he confirms it, so let's go:

hades and hecate are in his room talking about precautions. afterwards, hecate disappears. i imagine she was splitting into three and taking baby mel, sleeping hypnos and the family portrait (in a dialogue i had with hecate before she mentions that she only took these 3 because her form is triple)

hades leaves the room and right in the hallway nyx is frozen in time. he tries to wake her up but he can't

hades walks to the hall where he received souls and finds chronos seated on his throne and characters frozen in front of him, in attack or alarm positions.

these characters are: persephone, dusa, zagreus, meg, thanathos, and...well, achilles

there is a dialogue between hades and chronos but... returning to ody and achilles thing! the point is: achilles and ody won't be interacting anytime soon since achilles is actually also frozen by chronos and probably only has a chance to appear if mel saves him (something that isn't yet possible in early acess). i think the only possible way achilles, as a house guard, could have escaped is if he had been in pat's glade at the time but he wasn't. as for pat...i genuinely don't know where he is. there is no mention of him and he appears neither in the crossroads nor in the underworld. so i don't know about interactions between him and ody. to be fair, i also don't know what happened to orpheus since he doesn't appear frozen in the flashback and he was also a house employee. maybe he was caught too and they just didn't show it (after all they didn't show what happened to meg's sisters either) or he was in eurydice's chamber. patroclus wasn't a house character so i imagine he wasn't caught, but he didn't show any sign as far as i played. as previously mentioned, so far ody has only mentioned his shipmates (when talking about his conquests and about scylla eating some of his men) and heracles, so i don't know if he even mentions other heroes.

polyphemus and ody

i had dialogues about ody and polyphemus but they're basic lines like recognizing that polyphemus is blind because of ody and that he has a habit of eating people. nothing specifically noteworthy yet

siren, scylla and ody

guys...i remembered that there is a version of the myth in which amphitrite is the one who transforms scylla into a monster. since scylla didn't say the name of who transformed her i don't know which version the game is going with, although i still think it's more likely to be circe. i suppose i'll have to visit circe more often in hopes of her saying something

scylla is the lead singer in a band with sirens and is kind of bossy. when mel and ody talk about them, ody mentions the difficulty of hearing the sirens' song and wants to know if it doesn't affect mel, but mel responds that it doesn't affect her. mel also says she thinks the music is bad although ody describes the sirens' singing as something that attracts people. so the conclusion they reach is that: as scylla is a bit bossy she probably takes up too much space and overshadows the sirens and that's why mel doesn't think the singing is a big deal

circe

as for firce, she knew mel before and mel didn't know that she was kind of "on watch" on the surface. but hecate explains that selene, usually the "eye" of hecate, avoids the sea domains. then hecate asked circe to watch the sea from aeaea. circe accepted so that's why she stays on an island and waits for mel to give her some magical upgrade. she's quite nice to mel but doesn't seem to be very interested in people and prefers to spend time with her animals. the game already has weapon aspects, and one of them is the aspect of circe for the witch's staff (it's nice!! i tested)

more

and the other thing is that in hades 1 you repaired that bar in the house, and after that you met house employees there. these characters were either alone or were talking to other characters like meg talking to dusa. in hades 2 you also open a space to rest, but so far i've only seen ody use that and just one time. he was talking to the shades about his achievements when alive. i haven't seen ody talking to any character on screen other than that. i know he talked to nemesis because she complained that i vented to him about her (because she's really jealous of mel lol they had chemistry though) since he lectured her for it (i'm finding funny the idea of ody going to the goddess of divine retribution and saying god knows what about the relationship she has with the daughter of hades and persephone)...but, for example, i haven't seen that moros and ody's dialogue yet and that's why i haven't mentioned this yet

i got a slight spoiler in the steam discussions that apparently after giving ody enough nectar, the game establishes that the relationship between him and mel is something like an older brother but i don't know which is true yet. i'm going to have to give him more nectar (i'll be honest guys...ody is cool but nemesis is very hot and sounds like a possible girlfriend in a meg-style...i really wanted to bath with her and such. so yeah, i may have used nectar on her...even more so because she's a little slower to accept things than moros and ody)

Dear anon, don't change your gameplay just to tell me stuff!!! I love hearing these things but if you want to be with Nemesis then go ahead!!!

I always appreciate you sharing! :D

[fridayyy-13th]

sooo i hear you finished malevolent

indeed i did!! holy shit!!! it was amazing! and now i can finally unblock the “Malevolent spoilers” tag!

various thoughts (i have many but here’s a handful):

listening to the first episode, after John asked Arthur to look in the mirror and said he had the demeanor of someone not to be fucked with, i thought “…i’m sorry but no. this man is a sad wet cat. get him a warm blanket”

speaking of part 1, i was listening to it in the backseat of a car with headphones in so that was a game of turning up the volume to hear dialogue over the road sounds and turning it down to not demolish my eardrums when John shouted

by the time i was wrapping up part 4, i started to wonder if “John Doe” was a name the fandom made up for him, but when he explained to Arthur that he really liked the name and wanted to be called that…my heart absolutely melted. can you tell John’s my favorite? he’s my favorite :)

the one bit where Arthur is asked questions directly tied to everything that had happened since being bound with John? fucking impeccable. i would’ve said “ohh shit” aloud if i weren’t in public at the time

at some point i saw a post about someone taking an empty wrapping paper tube and mimicking John’s “Arthur!”

i tried it

it very much worked

i was promptly ecstatic due to this revalation. the tube wasn’t empty but it still worked great lol

speaking of John’s “Arthur!,” the way his tone shifted from part 1 vs part 28 still makes me emotional. holy shit

Kayne! what a guy. motherfucker. i had glimpsed some fanart of him eating popcorn or something before reaching part 28 so when i heard crunching in the background of That Part i was just like “ah. that’s why. Goddammit.” he’s a lot of fun and i like him a lot

ough hearing Yellow alongside Larson. Fear. excitement for what that means for the story, but also Fear.

during my binge i was working on a lego set i got for Christmas, of the house from Home Alone, and i legitimately nearly cried while hunched over that lego set when Arthur played Faroe’s Song right before John came back

and speaking of John coming back! Kayne said he had some sort of ulterior motive! what the heck! i haven’t seen much in the way of theories yet but John’s slip-up about being gone for a long time, i definitely don’t think he’s telling the truth. that said, i don’t think he wants to hurt Arthur in any way. especially considering he was trying his damndest to save him during that entire conversation

the piano strings guy. holy shit. what was he called? the butcher? absolutely terrifying, and now he’s coming after John and Arthur. fun!

the dynamic between Arthur and John is incredible. not romantic not platonic but a secret third thing (*vague gesture in their direction that does not explain what the third thing is*). they’re just Them. not to mention i nearly cried over the fact that before John named himself, when he and Arthur still didn’t like each other, Arthur still took to calling him “friend.” i’m shaking them like a pair of glowsticks.

absolutely cannot wait for part 29. i’m so excited to see where this story goes.

[tortoisesshells]

With the WIP game, I'll go a little bit rogue and ask about what differentiates the versions of the customs and duties chapter! (If you want you can share a snippet too of course)

That's very kind of you! It's more of a "I know what happens in this chapter, but I'll be damned if I know how to start writing it". So, naturally, I tried to start it at a completely irrelevant point:

James Norrington and Uncle Bendish were speaking in the office after dinner, which worried Nellie even more than her friend's grim near-silence during the meal itself. Nellie had discretely asked Aunt B about it, and been rebuffed. Not unkindly – and so Nellie had sat with her nervous curiosity and Lydia's embroidery, sorting out a badly snarled skein while her cousin hummed. She heard the familiar footsteps in from the hall, and looked up – he looked away as soon as he saw her, but asked her for a game any way. Nellie set up the board with apprehension, unwilling to press publicly what was troubling him, thinking that if it were an ill wind for her, it was not in his nature to gloat – and then, that she perhaps knew him well enough to say that if it was an ill wind, he would not go behind her back to speak with Uncle Bendish about it first. It was a buoying thought, but did not answer the question; he had enough of his troubles, and told herself that it almost certainly had to do with the coming war, or his coming demotion.

But it kind of felt like a retread, and the rest of the chapter felt stale. So I decided to perspective-swap, see if that unblocked the dam.

The Bendish garden, James Norrington had lately been in the habit of thinking, had many charms – Mrs. Bendish’s roses might have been among them, if he had even given them any attention. Certainly at the top of this imagined list of advantages was privacy. There was little to be had in the Bendish parlor, and from the pointed looks Nellie Treat was darting over his shoulder towards her cousin Lydia, he and at least two others of the occupants were aware of it. It was a prickling feeling. Lightly uncomfortable, without any kind of threat; he thought of the pressing silences of the King’s House, in Port Royal, as the only useful comparison in his admittedly limited experience. Lydia Bendish was not his superior, as had been Governor Swann, which made the who situation tend towards the farcical – as though he had been an actor and somehow turned loose onto the wrong stage. Nellie Treat felt the absurdity too, he was sure – she was fretting with her rings without any of the intensity that usually augured ill winds; if anything, she reminded him of nothing so much as an irritated cat.

But that won't work, because unfortunately Nellie's got to engage in skulduggery this chapter that the more law-abiding (or law-enforcing) denizens of Boston won't be aware of. Also, spoilers, he sister finally has her kid and I can't imagine what calamitous series of events would have to happen for Jimothy N. to be in the house for that. So I went back to Nellie, and decided - why not? Why shouldn't Nellie have a horrifying nightmare relating to that guy she accidentally on purpose killed?

In her dreams, Lieutenant Nibley was standing in her parlor, streaming salt-water and rot. Eyes gone, flesh half-eaten. She felt sick at the sight of him, but could not say it or give sign of it. Skin shredded. Blue. A – a crab, scuttling into the empty socket. The tea tray was on the table and she busied herself with it, while he spoke to her. At her. Accusation. She swallowed and handed him a piece of molasses cake, the dish of tea. His hand was – God help her, she thought when she woke – clammy, cold and claw-like as Samuel’s had been the morning after his passing. She remembered his living hand on her wrist, pulling her down into the harbor and – And she was awake, then. Cold and alone in her own bed, Nellie gritted her teeth and brought her forehead to her knees, curling up as tightly as she could. Had she cried out? She prayed not, listening for the sounds of her children stirring, or footsteps in the hall.

(Ask me about my WIPs.)