#AND IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO FIND THIS ON A DIFFERENT ARCHIVED PAGE

[disdaidal]

I'm already starting to regret that I joined yet another Discord server.

[imwritingthefout]

A mask of my own face

I love this photo it’s so silly :>

Summary:

reader is worried about ford and his recent... outbursts. they decide to check on him, but find him at the wrong time, or rather, they don't find him, but someone else in his body.

basically: reader gets fucked by bill cipher in ford's body and kinda likes it.

(the title is the song by lemon demon bc it fits)

Warnings: non con elements/ dubious consent, rough smut, p in v sex, some fluff at the end, a little angst but it’s fine in the end

also crossposted on ao3

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Ford was acting… different. More distant than usual, more…. Off-putting.

He always had a sort of off-kiltered charm in the way he interacted with you, always flipping between being overly confident in himself, and tripping over his own words at the sight of you. Like something in his brain didn’t compute that you were together, that you were his. You got used to this after a few months of dating the researcher, and it evened out for a bit… but now it seems he’s reverted back to his old ways, from before you started dating.

One second he would be holding you tight, saying how much he loved you and wanted you by his side for the rest of his life, but then the next he would push you away to go ‘meditate’ in his lab. He would stay there for hours, only coming up for more coffee. (and strangely enough, to shove forks into his hands when he thought you weren’t looking)

You decided that enough was enough when one evening you realised you hadn't seen him all day. He must've gotten up before you to go to his lab, and hadn’t come up since then.

You went on a search for him all around the house, hoping he wasn't in that god-forsaken lab, but it seems god wasn’t on your side.

When you found him, you saw him sitting hunched over at his desk, writing something down aggressively. You tried to gently touch his shoulder, but the movement caused him to jump so high up from his chair he almost hit the ceiling. You, of course, were startled by the sudden movement and took a step back from him.

He slowly turned to you and his face…. His eyes…. Something about them was wrong. Maybe it was the lack of sleep on his part or your worrying, but you could swear his eyes looked… off. They were slightly different than you remembered, but you decided to brush it off for the time being, more focused on talking some sense into your boyfriend.

“Hey ford? Can i… talk to you?” you said gently, trying not to frighten him again. He shook his head a bit, as if trying to shake off some grub from his face and turned to you with an annoyed look. “Not now, honey . Can’t you see I'm working?” He said the pet name with a mocking voice, as if he was making fun of you for thinking you’re more important than his work.

“I know you are, but you're starting to worry me… when was the last time you ate? Or drank water? Or even went to the bathroom?” you tried to push back the uncomfortable feeling threatening to overtake your words, your voice slightly shaking when you asked him the questions. 

“It doesn’t matter . All that matters is finishing this page” and with that he went back to his desk, sitting down and ignoring you as if you didn’t exist.

Now you were starting to get angry. “What do you mean it doesn’t matter? Your health is important! If you don't take care of yourself then you won’t live to see your progress come to fruition!” you put your hand on his shoulder again, more firmly this time. “I made you dinner. Now you’re going to come with me, eat dinner, drink some water and go to sleep. Do you understand?” you turned him around in his chair to look at you. He seemed to flip through several emotions before deciding on one. You didn't quite know what it was, but he was smiling, so you thought he might have finally come to his senses and decided to take a break.

You were only half right.

“You know what? You’re right, toots. I'll take a break, but only if i can take you too” he brought you onto his lap in one swift, strong motion and put his lips against your neck. The sudden movement made a chill run up your spine. You didn’t know if you were more turned on or worried, but ultimately decided that maybe this’ll help ground him and bring the ford you loved back.

You wrapped your hands around his neck and kissed him passionately. It took a moment for him to register what was happening until he kissed you back, hungrily kissing you and suddenly biting at your tongue. It wasn’t something you were used to, and it definitely surprised you, but it wasn’t unwelcomed.

You pulled away a little and he went back to attacking your neck with his lips and teeth, leaving various marks that made your breath hitch. His calloused hands started exploring your body as if it was his first time, awkwardly angling his fingers to touch every part of you from your ankles to your shoulders, and finally down to your breasts.

“God you’re mine now, aren’t you?” The question confused you, since you’ve been dating for a while now, but you decided to go along with it. Maybe it was a new kink of his “yes i’m all yours” you punctuate your point by gently scraping your nails down his chest and onto the waistband of his pants. He groaned at the feeling of your nails on him, his chest puffing up to meet your touch. You chuckle at his desperation. “So needy… you’ve missed me, haven't you?” you tease him lightly, but it didn’t affect him like it usually does. Instead he seems… unfazed “sure i have” he then picks you up and moves you so you’re lying chest down on his desk, and he’s behind you, pushing your middle down so your ass is up in the air for him.

He stands up and you can hear him opening his belt buckle behind you. He seems to be struggling, so you try to turn to him and help him, but he only pushes you down more. “Stupid.. Human… clothes… ugh” you hear him mumbling, but you can’t say anything when you suddenly feel his cold hands under your shirt, feeling you up. You moan under his touch, then hiss as he pinches your waist in an unpleasant way. 

“Hey-ah!” you try to scold him, but are interrupted by the feeling of cold air hitting your sensitive area. Ford has pulled down your pants and underwear, and is now angleing himself behind you. You moan as you feel him push himself against you, his chest flat against your back. It takes him a second to push himself inside you, but when he does, he fills you up immediately. 

You groan at the sharp pain mixed with the pleasure of having him inside you after so long without him. Before you register what's happening, he starts thrusting into you wildly, with no rhythm or consistency. You try your best not to moan, but it's hard when you feel him pushing into you in such a harsh way. 

He holds your hips firmly, trying to stop your squirming. “Come on- ah~ do the thing” you hear him grunting behind you. It feels so good, but the statement still confuses you through the fog of pleasure. What does he mean by ‘the thing’? Your train of thought is stopped when his hand travels to your throat, choking you a little. The sudden feeling of lightheadedness makes you even hornier. This doesn’t feel like something ford would do, but damn it turns you on.

His thrusts start to even out, he doesn't slow down but now they have more of a rhythm. With each one the desk starts to creak under you. It’s straight up animalistic the way he pounds into you, holding onto you like you’re his toy, only used for his pleasure. You feel him twitching inside you, getting close to his release. You clench around him the way you know he likes, and suddenly he cums inside of you. You feel the pleasure inside you come to a peak as he continues to thrust at the same pace, even though he just came. 

The pleasure quickly turns into overstimulation as he continues at his rough pace, not letting you go until he finishes inside you again. Your moans turn into screams as you can't even form a coherent thought. At this point you almost reach a second orgasm, but when he suddenly pulls out at you, you’re forced to come down from your high. You whine at the loss and turn around to see him with his hands up in shock, looking down at you guiltily. 

“What's wrong ford?” you look up at him with lustful eyes, wanting him to continue. 

“I.. uh- nothing is wrong! I'm sorry!” What is he apologising for? “It’s alright, but can you please continue?” now you were frustrated, hoping he would get the hint and continue fucking you. 

“Ye-yeah sure.. Of curse” he gently put his hands on your hips, almost hesitating before feeling you up. He gently runs his hand down your stomach and lands on your thigh, stabilising you before slowly entering you. You moan at the sudden change in him. “What has gotten into you- ah!” you moan as he softly circles your clit with his fingers while he starts thrusting into you. You put your hands around his neck and he buries his head in your chest. You hear him mumbling something but you can’t understand it. 

He starts pushing in and out of you gently, and the stark contrast from just a second ago makes you confused. What is with him today? You try to dwell on it, but when he starts kissing your chest, fondling your breast with his mouth, your thought process is cut short. 

Thanks to his expert fingers on your clit and his even thrusting, you go over the edge. You moan his name as you pull him up to kiss him. It all feels like too much as he stops moving, focusing on kissing you. He pulls out shortly after, taking his time now.

“Does this mean you’re gonna take a break? I think dinner is getting cold” you say softly, kissing his cheek.

“What? Oh yeah- yeah- of course honey” when he says the pet name this time, it feels genuine, like it just rolls off his tongue naturally. You look at him, and find his familiar eyes looking back into yours- slightly confused but loving and caring. This is your ford. The one you fell in love with.

You try to pull yourself off the desk but your legs start wobbling, so ford takes you by the waist and guides you up the stairs. “I’m sorry” he apologises once again, but you reach up to stroke his cheek “it’s alright, i kind of… liked it”

You see a flicker of something dangerous in his eye before it switches to looking terrified, then concerned. “Well.. I'm glad you liked it, but I don't know what came over me. I’m still sorry if i hurt you, my dear” you thought he might be hiding something from you, but that was a discussion for another day. For now, you got your old ford back, and that’s all that matters.

“It’s.. alright. Just give me a warning next time. Jeez” you laugh a little, and you see he starts to relax against you. 

“Yeah.. i’ll try” he seems to be lost in thought, but as you enter the kitchen and he sees the dinner you made him, he suddenly loses his train of thought and looks at you like you just brought him the moon. 

“Thank you! Thank you! Thank you so much! I'm starving!” he picks you up and kisses you, slightly wincing as he feels his muscles tense up after not being in use for who knows how long. He lets go of you and you both go to eat. You’ll have to talk to him sometime soon about your worries, but you stop yourself when you see the look he gives you; full of love and adoration, like you’re the sun to his earth. You decide to confront him another day. You wouldn’t want to ruin a perfect dinner, would you?

[loafgeto]

BEWITCHING HOUR

gojo satoru x fem!reader x geto suguru

synopsis: while searching through the archives of your college’s library, you discover an ancient book with old rituals. out of curiosity, you try to summon an incubus but somehow, it didn’t work— only until you woke that same night, to encounter not only one, but two of them.

contents: fem!reader, explicit language, she/her pronouns, incubus satoru and suguru, NSFW, threesome, slight foreplay, cunninglus kinda, fingering, voyeurism(??), breastplay, markings/hickeys, overstimulation, unprotected sex, multiple creampies, squirting, orgasms, handjob, blowjob, slight rough sex(?!), pet names (use of slut once), suguru and satoru fighting over you, they both have big dicks<3, JUST SOOO MUCH EXPLICIT SHIT LMAOOO, not proofread !!

word count: 4.7k

notes: just so so sosoooo much content guys srry… i prob need to be locked up after this LOL i just cant stop myself from writing sm dirty shit like that 💔😢 (also plz dont read this if ur not comfortable)

most horror movies involved demons or ghosts, and they’re most likely summoned through rituals, or some sort of supernatural item or game that one shouldn’t dare to touch. people would ramble and scream at the user, complaining how stupid they were and how their curiosity killed everyone.

and you were one of those people.

but now you’re in your bedroom with an old thick book, dated back into the late 14th century. it was written in a language most wouldn’t necessarily understand, latin to be precise. but you were grateful for the classes you took in high school, and understood at least some of it.

the book was mainly about old rituals and performances or instructions to summon spirits. it was obviously a bad idea, a very bad idea. and you were just like those characters in those horror movies that you called stupid— but you had to admit, curiosity got the best of you, just like them.

besides, it was the night of halloween. all of your friends went out in their revealing costumes to late night parties while you stayed back in your dorm. well, you were going to attend, but this book was on your mind the entire day— so you opted out, reasoning that you were feeling under the weather.

now, how did this book even end up in your possession? well, it started earlier that day, after your third class of the day.

halloween landed on a friday, unfortunately— so there were classes. your professor assigned a major project in which required you to obtain an archive as one of your resources. it was irritating to say the least, since you’d have to search for an archive related to your topic without a computer. but thankfully, librarians were there to assist.

you went to your university’s library archives section on the very top floor, hoping to find something related to your topic so you’d get out of there quicker and start on the project. you decided your topic to be about ancient greek mythology, it was simple and you enjoy the idea. and it’d be quite easy to find an archive about it.

“excuse me, where am i able to find an archive about greek mythology or culture?” you questioned the librarian who mainly worked in the section.

she gives you a smile through her dull appearance before turning her head to the multiple tall shelves of archives behind her. “if you go to the fourth shelf on the left, then the third section, you may find the archives about ancient greek and everything related to it.”

after thanking the librarian, you quickly walk over to the section, somewhat excited to see what you could find. the entire section was stacked with archives about greek mythology, some were identical but in different colorings and covers, while some were smaller, thicker, older, or written in a different language.

all of the pages appeared worn, and were nearly close to rotting out of the book, and you wondered on who might’ve touched this centuries ago. it was weird to think about but you decided to move along, and keep searching for what you need.

your eyes scan through each row on the shelf, hoping to find something appealing and comprehendible to use as a resource for your assignment. something caught your eye at an instant, as if it was manifesting you, calling for you to grab it.

and for some odd reason, when you went to pull the book out of its spot, the book clearly didn’t belong in the section of greek mythology. you blinked several times, observing the old and thick book. the cover had a unique texture, with golden colored latin wordings in the front and a detailed drawing of a distorted demon. in hindsight, it was a ritual book.

you flipped through the first few pages, skimming through the paragraphs on how to summon a certain spirit or demon. everything was in latin, but you at least somewhat understood. there were pictures describing what the entities appeared as, or what forms they can take. it was frightening to say the least, but you were surprised something like this was here.

a page that certainly caught your interest mentioned an incubus.

and so, you read it thoroughly. an incubus, a male form of a demon that seeks to have sexual intercourse with sleeping women. they were the corresponding spirit of a succubus. you heard of the folklore several times, and this somewhat intrigued you even more. as you read further, it specifically mentioned that the incubus posed as a winsome japanese man, in order to attract women. you also noticed that there were two demons in the picture drawn on the page, one white and one black. could it be summoned in either form?

to say that you wanted to try summoning the incubus was definitely not an understatement. but who the fuck would want a demon to be fucking them while they sleep? the question didn't pop into your head at that moment, and you were quick to take the book without completing the search for the archive you actually needed.

and you cancelled all halloween plans just for this.

now, you felt as if you were in one of those horror movies. closed curtains, lights off, several candles lit around you as you sat in the middle of your room with the book opened to your designated page. the summoning was simple, you were to follow the ritual word by word and then take a long sip of red wine. and lucky you, there was some leftover red wine from a party weeks ago.

the glass of wine was next to the book, and you were contemplating whether or not to continue. you were quite surprised at how simple the summoning was, since most would require a slit of blood or your soul, or something extreme. but red wine? this incubus must have a preference.

you took a deep and long breath, before beginning to read the ritual word by word. and after you finished, you picked up the glass of red wine and gulped the entire liquid down your throat.

you expected something to appear, but nothing.

your eyes dart around the room, but you found it to be empty. did it not work? you’re oddly confused and repeated the ritual once more. but again, nothing happened.

when the second try didn’t work, you figured the third try wouldn’t either. you were certain that every word was said correctly and you missed out no words either. you scoffed, closing the book and turning on the lights to your room. you blow out the candles and concluded at how much bullshit this was.

“this shit is such a waste of time,” you mumble as you shove the ritual book into your backpack.

after putting everything else away, you decided to get ready for bed and pretend as if you did nothing. you would return the book tomorrow and never have to remember it again. it was worth a try after all, and you honestly thought it would work.

you switched into a pair of comfortable shorts and a loose top. you unclipped your bra and tossed it to the side, since you normally slept without one because it was more comfortable that way. you were still feeling quite upset that the ritual didn’t work, but at the same time, you were alright with nothing happening. it was just a hoax, like what everyone else would say.

falling asleep wasn’t so hard, and time ended up passing as you quietly slept on your bed. at some point, you could hear the faint sounds of teenagers screaming and enjoying their halloween events, and your neighbors’ kids exclaiming happily about how much candy they received.

and for some reason, the air in your room became more frigid and you were cuddling yourself close underneath your comforter you found warm. you didn’t allow it to bother you and fell asleep once more.

you remained asleep for several more hours, unbeknownst to anything occurring in your room. it was until you heard gentle shuffling noises in your room. at first, you didn’t allow it to bother you— until you felt someone’s gently caress your face.

“she’s cute, don’t ya think?” a male’s voice calls out beside of you.

your eyes immediately shoot open, and you’re making eye contact with an unfamiliar man— white hair and horns, striking bright blue eyes, shirtless with multiple scars, and white torn wings. your eyes widen and you scream, pushing the man’s hands away from you before shoving yourself in the deepest corner of your bed away from him.

“oh, did i scare you? i’m sorry, angel,” the man chuckles with a sly grin.

“w-who- the hell are you- and how did you get in my house?!” you shout, shielding yourself with one of your pillows.

the man sighs, rubbing the back of his nape as he remained silent for a moment. but before he could speak, another male appears behind of him— jet black hair and horns, black torn wings, shirtless with multiple scars, but he was broader and his hair was longer than the other one. “i told you to stop approaching girls like that. this is why they never like you,” he says, nudging the white haired man.

“ouch. hey, i didn’t think she would awake immediately,” he scoffs and they both return their gaze back to you. “sorry angel, i get carried away sometimes. never met such a pretty woman like ya. and you’re the one who summoned us.”

“summoned? what do you mean? i haven’t-“ you began to say due to your panic but you pause your words when the ritual from earlier returned to your mind. you remain quiet for a moment, and the two incubus’s tilt their head in confusion. there was absolutely no way, right? “i must be dreaming.”

the black haired incubus frowns, crossing his arms. “well, princess. you aren’t and even if you are, we can appear in them too,” he replies but then he shakes his head. “oh, forget i said that. don’t want to frighten you.”

“oh suguru, i think she already is.”

“this was your fault, satoru.”

“my fault?!” satoru raises his voice, glaring intently ay suguru who whistles.

“okay, shut up. quit raising your voice, you’re scaring the poor, innocent and beautiful girl here,” suguru says, now returning his gaze back to you and he smiles warmly. “but yes, princess. you indeed did summon us. was there a particular reason?”

“i.. just did it for fun..” you reply, still quite astonished. “and i thought it would only be one.. not two..”

“well angel, maybe you should read a little more carefully before summoning us,” satoru sighs, and then chuckles. “especially if you were expecting only one of us.”

“i-i’m sorry—“

“don’t apologize. everyone we meet usually mistakes it for one instead of two,” suguru is still smiling with a gentle tone, indicating for you to ignore satoru’s harmless remarks. “and you did this for fun? well princess, if you wanna have some fun. then we can give that to you. how about it?”

you’re mostly uncertain about this, and the other part of you urged to move forward. you were obviously curious but anticipating, and couldn’t initiate anything. was this actually real? you were still in denial still, yet if this wasn’t— then it’s one hell of a dream.

suguru notices your hesitation and thinks for a moment. “well princess, there’s no need to be anxious. we’ll take care of you,” he says, extending his hand out to yours. “but if you don’t want to, then all you gotta do is say no.”

you shake your head, a hand taking suguru’s. “i-i want to..” the words fell out of your mouth shyly, and you could feel your face burn as suguru chuckles, his grip tightening around your hand. “what a good girl. you don't gotta be shy at all 'kay, [name]?”

“mhm..” you nod, eyes slightly widening when you realized you didn’t even tell them your name. “you know my name?”

“of course. we always know the name of our summoner, it’d be rude if we didn’t know,” suguru smiles, as he pulls you towards him. his large frame towered over yours, and you could feel his throbbing erection poking your lower belly. “does that freak you out, princess?”

"n-no.." you shake your head, lips trembling slightly. in other cases, this sort of situation should freak you out. like, who would want to fuck two hot incubuses? but that question doesn't matter anymore. the two were so alluring, and their words seem to enchant you in some way. "good then.. i can kiss you now, right?" suguru coos in your ears.

you nod, gaze staring into suguru’s dark eyes. the incubus presses his lips against yours as a hand snakes around your hips. you moan into the kiss, since this was a feeling you hadn’t felt in so long. satoru just watches, his own dick twitching underneath his pants from the way your moans sounded.

suguru’s hands slithers underneath your shorts, groping and massaging the skin of your ass. next, he gently bites your lower, smirking from the way your moans fell into his mouth. “you like how i touch you, princess?” suguru inquires in such a seductive tone when pulling away from the kiss, and you nod as an answer while your face burned.

you are pushed down on your bed, and suguru hovers over you. he licks his lips, liking the way you were sprawled under him as his eyes burned with lust. you nearly shut your eyes as suguru spreads your legs apart, pushing the material of your shorts and panties to the side. “w-wait—“ you begin out of embarrassment, but suguru had already slipped two of his long fingers inside of your wet cunt. you gasp, quietly squirming as he pumps his fingers slowly.

“goodness princess, you’re already so wet,” suguru comments, pushing his fingers deeper. the squelching noises of your pussy resonates the room, along with your soft moans. he smiles, glancing at satoru who was becoming hornier by the second. the white haired incubus couldn’t contain himself much longer— wanting to touch himself to the sound of your moans. “you hear that, satoru? you hear how wet she is?”

“mmh- fuck, yeah,” satoru replies, a hand rubbing over the bulge of his pants. he had to admit, he was jealous of suguru— him being able to please you first. the two had been confined in that book for who knows how long. satoru has become desperate, hungry and longing to touch and fuck a pretty girl like you. “hurry up, suguru. i want to touch her next.”

suguru chuckles, turning his attention back to you. “doesn’t that turn you on, [name]? don’t you like hearing how badly satoru wants to touch you like this?” suguru says, pressing a thumb against your clit and creating sensual circles around the area that makes you more sensitive. you moan as a response, your body trembling from suguru’s actions. “y-yes.. i want satoru- to t-touch me too..” you reply, looking at satoru who nearly came from the needy pitch of your voice.

“you heard her, satoru,” suguru says, glancing at satoru with a grin— and you found yourself in between the two incubuses. suguru had slipped off your shorts and panties, tossing them to the floor. satoru was situated behind of you, propping your body up so that your back would press against his muscular chest.

while suguru was pumping his fingers into your aching pussy and rubbing circles against your clit, satoru had pushed his hands underneath your top to fondle with your breasts. satoru pinches your nipples with his fingers, getting a little whine out of your mouth and then moves his lips to suck the skin of your neck. suguru could feel your gummy walls pulsate and clench around his fingers, and he fastens his pace to assist you closer to your orgasm.

“such pretty tits you have, angel,” satoru compliments, leaving love marks on your neck and he kisses your shoulders. such delicate and gorgeous skin you have— making satoru wanting to mark you all over with his mouth. he pinches your nipples again, when noticing the way you react to it. “mm~ s-satoru- keep touching my breasts like that-“ you moan, your head slightly falling back against his shoulder.

“give me some attention too, princess~” suguru pouts, slipping another finger into your pussy. your eyes widen in astonishment, seeming that you’ve never felt three fingers inside of you before. your moans become louder at that point, mostly because of suguru. “yeah, that’s a good girl. moan just for me,” he adds, smirking as his knuckles began smacking the entrance of your pussy.

satoru glares at suguru, before slipping one hand away from your breast to grab your head. satoru turns your face towards him and presses his lips against yours while maintaining eye contact with suguru. the raven haired incubus furrows his brows, watching as you and satoru’s tongues swirled sloppily around and over each others. the two now seem to have an ongoing battle of who can please you the best.

“‘m gonna c-cum,” you utter through your moans, mouth parting slightly from satoru’s, a strong of saliva connecting from your tongue to his. suguru smiles, curling his fingers to rub faster against your g-spot. “c’mon princess, cum for me,” he says, lowering his face to your pussy and replaces his thumb with his tongue on your clit.

“oh f-fuck, suguruu-“ you mewl his name, eyes nearly rolling back as your legs tremble from the fast kitten licks his tongue was giving against your clit. satoru couldn’t do much but continue to play with your breast and watch suguru fuck your pussy until you came. you could feel satoru’s throbbing dick pressing against your lower back, and you use a hand to go behind and underneath his pants. “s-shit, angel-“ satoru grunts as your hands push to free his cock out and wrap around his girth. “seems like she’s ready for my cock.”

“don’t even think about it, satoru,” suguru growls, circling licks against your clit before gently sucking. he had to remind satoru that it was his turn to fuck the next summoner first, and just because you had invited satoru earlier than suguru expected, doesn’t mean he’d get to fuck his cock into you first. as for you, your mind is too overstimulated with the situation and you couldn’t bother caring about their bickering. “shitshitshit, i’m cumming-“ you cry out, squirting over suguru’s mouth and fingers.

suguru licks and cleans all of your juices that squirted onto your thighs and by his mouth, savoring the taste. he stares deep into satoru’s eyes when licking off your arousal on his fingers, smiling cockily since satoru wasn’t able to get a taste. “i might actually get addicted to this pussy,” suguru comments before he unzips his pants to releases his hard throbbing cock.

your eyes widen at the sight of suguru’s dick. was something like that actually going to fit? you anticipated greatly as suguru pumps his length a few times before aligning against your wet entrance. “oh, you scared, princess?” suguru chuckles, but you instantly shake your head. “n-no.. please fuck my pussy..” you reply, pushing your legs farther apart.

“you hear that, satoru? hear and see how she’s begging for my cock only?” suguru asks, glancing at satoru to see his reaction. he just needed to rub it in the other incubus’s face, since they were quarreling after all. satoru glares again, not replying as his attention was mostly on the way your hand gripped around his cock. “spreading your legs like that just f’me. such a needy girl you are, huh?” suguru adds, teasing your wet entrance with the tip of his cock before pushing his entire length past your folds.

“o-oh my god-“ you moan, eyes widening from the feeling of suguru’s cock rubbing against your walls, nearly making you cum again. suguru grunts when your tight pussy instantly clenches around him, and he quietly chuckles. “fuck.. mmh,” he moans, rocking his hips in a slow and sensual pace.

“touch me too, angel. don’t forget about me,” satoru whimpers, his words purring into your ears as he bucks his hips up to feel your soft hand rub against his desperate cock. and who were you to ignore his lecherous request? you began to pump your hand along satoru’s cock just like he wanted, causing him to moan softly into your ear. “s-shit.. i might cum just because of your hands,” satoru chuckles, returning his lips to suck the skin of your neck.

suguru’s hands grip tightly on your thighs as his thrusts became stronger, faster, and full of desire— wanting to strive your attention away from satoru. his cock was already fucked deep into you, spreading and pleasuring your walls towards your next orgasm. your moans fall from your mouth with each thrust and love bite you receive from the two incubuses, and you began detecting stars in your vision as you reach a daze. “n-ngh.. squeezing me so damn hard. you want my cum that badly, baby?” suguru groans, faintly throwing his head back.

“y-yes, pleaseee,” you whine, your cunt sucking in suguru’s cock at his words. the incubus groans, drilling deeper into your pussy, balls slapping against your ass. satoru intently watches suguru pound into your needy hole relentlessly, turning you into a crying and moaning mess. his dick twitches at the sight of you two connecting, making him wonder what it’d be like to be in suguru’s position. it even turned satoru on when he sees how suguru’s fucking you, and the sensual strokes you give his cock doesn’t seem to stop him from reaching an orgasm.

“fuckkk, holy fuck-“ suguru chants, his eyes nearly rolling back because of how satisfied his dick was feeling. “we should make her ours, satoru. make her our little cum dump, yeah?” suguru glances at satoru, who only moans as a response when you swirl your thumb around his swollen tip. “seems like she wants to, satoru. the way she’s clenching her dirty little cunt tightly around me tells me she wants to be our cum dump. that right, princess?” suguru utters, now staring into your tear filled eyes as he continues thrusting into you.

you nod your head several times, unable to formulate a proper response as you felt your next orgasm reaching. “‘m gonna cum, shittt,” satoru groans, your soft hand on his cock driving him insane. “m-me too.. gonna fill your womb up with all of my cum,” suguru grits his teeth, and you haven’t even realize his sharp nails nudging into the flesh of your skin.

in the next moment, satoru came entirely over your back and hand— while suguru fucks his cum into you before pulling out. you moan, legs trembling slightly as you feel suguru’s semen warming your baby room. you’re breathing heavily, desperately gasping for air as the two were switching positions, not that you noticed.

you found yourself on all yours and completely naked, face directly inches away from suguru’s cock while satoru had positioned behind of you, pushing your ass back against his hips. “now it’s my turn to dump my cum in you, angel. i’m gonna give you so, so much~” satoru coos, not even giving you a moment to comprehend before shoving him cock into you. “a-ah, fuck-“ your mewl, eyes widening from the deep penetration, instantly making you cum on him. “already came? i just started, y’know,” satoru grunts, thrusting his hips before slapping your ass.

suguru strokes his throbbing dick that was still hard, which earns your attention immediately. he chuckles, his other hand going to caress the side of your face. “you miss my cock already, don’t you?” suguru raises a brow, smacking the tip against your face before you nod. “yeah? t-then take my cock into your mouth- mmh, just like that- good girl,” he praises, pushing half his length pass your lips, groaning at the warm feeling of your mouth.

you bob your head slowly back and forth, sucking and slurping suguru’s cock while using another hand to pump the rest of his length that was unable to fit into your mouth. at the same time, satoru was drowning his cock deep into your cunt, fucking suguru’s cum out and making it stream down your thighs and onto the sheets of your bed. “s-stop squeezing me so much, angel. about to make me cum a-again,” satoru stutters, hands gripping tightly on your hips.

“mm- satoruu- suguruu~” you moan both of their names, pushing your head away to swirl your tongue around suguru’s tip. you clench your walls around satoru, despite him begging you to relax since it was driving him insane. “hear her, suguru? she’s moaning our names like a damn slut,” satoru grins, slapping your ass again.

“yeah, i like it,” suguru replies, pushing his length into your mouth again, feeling your moans vibrate against his dick. “g-gonna fill her mouth with my cum too..”

“hey.. that’s not fair..” satoru glares at suguru. or maybe it is fair and he just doesn’t want to admit it. since the last time they had sex with someone, satoru was the one mostly occupying their attention and barely allowed suguru to interact. to say the least, satoru’s selfish and greedy, but of course if it’s his best friend— he wouldn’t mind sharing, which is why they’re both sworn incubuses. “it is. but whatever [name] says, goes,” suguru hums, reminding satoru of the simple rules they established beforehand.

“‘ts okay- i want you both- to fill me up with your cum-“ you intervene as suguru slips his cock out, exchanging glances between the two. whether the boys like it or not, you’d share yourself equally to them. that was the fair way, but it didn’t mean they’d stop bickering over you. wanting to get rid of their glares at each other, you attract their attention back to you by kitten licking your tongue against suguru’s tip and grind your hips back against satoru. “s-shit. i can’t resist myself any longer, princess,” suguru moans.

satoru was loving the way you were fucking his cock by pushing your hips back against him, it made him pound you even rougher than before. “gonna make this pussy ours then,” satoru whines, his hips slamming harshly against your ass, nearly capturing your remaining attention away from suguru. “let’s fill every single one of her holes with our cum, ‘guru.”

“you fucking bet,” suguru smirks to the idea, as if it wasn’t something they planned from the beginning. the two of them moan, feeling you suck them in tighter, like you’re trying to milk all of their cum out due to the wicked statement. it aroused you, turned you into an even more filthy woman. “g-gonna cum in your pussy now, angel.. fuckkkk, take it all like a good girl,” satoru huffs, hoisting one of your thighs up.

as satoru was reaching his climax, he penetrates his cock deeper into your cunt, making sure all of his cum would reach into your womb like suguru’s did. you cry out, rushes of ecstasy flowing through your veins before satoru shoots his warm semen into you. at the same moment, suguru prods his entire length into your mouth, whether it fit or not, and releases his second load into the back of your throat. your mind is completely scrambled, cramped with lust struck thoughts of the two incubuses.

and just when you think that they’re done, you find yourself lying back on your bed again and legs spread apart to where they both could fit in between. they both wore heavy erotic expressions, eyes practically sparking with hearts as they stared down at you.

it was like you were in a never-ending heaven with two sex demons. you already felt so addicted to the incubuses, like they were going to become a drug you could never stop taking. and well, you couldn’t return the book anymore— not after experiencing this. they were going to be your little secret, your pleasures, your two fuck buddies that will pound their horny cocks into you wherever and whenever.

you keep your filled cunt exposed to them, moaning softly when their mixed cum starts dripping out. to them, it looked like you were desperately pleading for them to fuck you again. and that’s when they knew that they were going to be summoned every single night.

“let’s make sure this pussy remember us, and only us.”

LOAFGETO. thank you for reading! please do not copy my work or publish in another media without my permission.

a/n: i’ll let you guys decide who says the line at the end. ANYWAYS finally on thanksgiving break, im sooo done with school bru. ok lol hope u guys enjoyed. likes + reblogs are appreciated. <3

[tapwater118]

Has anyone ever heard of “Battle for Dream Island” (1990) before? Really obscure NES game, doesn’t even have a Wikipedia page (or hell, even a mention in one).

From what little I can find about it on the internet, Battle for Dream Island was an NES game released on January 1st, 1990, apparently made entirely by a pair of independent American developers. Never made all that many sales, but eventually it garnered a rather niche following on an obscure gaming forum, though it had long since dissipated. Unfortunately, seemingly nothing from the forum threads was archived, so all I have to go on are a few vague threads titles from a navigation page.

I, rather cliched like, bought this BfDI cartridge from a sleazy old guy at a flea market (along with Puzznic and Wario’s Woods for a bargain deal). I dumped the ROM and booted it up on an emulator to take some screencaps.

Upon pressing start, you are prompted to “Choose Contestant,” and have a choice between any of 20 playable characters (who are all everyday objects, for some reason). Each contestant has their own stats, and while you can feel the difference while playing, the overall impact of character choice is pretty negligible. (Also some of these guys don’t even have arms?? Weird design choice but okay.)

Two screencaps of the character select screen. I went with Pin for my first playthrough cause idk she seemed kinda cute. I’m almost sure the stats are “Strength,” “Speed,” “Jump,” and “Skill.”

(Continued under cut)

While touting itself as a game show, BfDI is essentially a glorified minigame collection. The gameplay loop is as follows: You and the 19 other contestants play a minigame (referred to as “challenges”) to earn points based on how well you do (though I’m fairly certain the computer contestants just get a random amount of points for each challenge). Most of the challenges are various platforming segments, though some others fall more into puzzle game territory.

Two of the challenges. The green “Win Tokens” can be collected for bonus points. LEFT: A horizontal platformer level. The grey wall in the middle of the screencap moves up and down. RIGHT: A challenge about climbing ladders while avoiding “acid spitballs.” The game pauses to scroll vertically a la Super Mario Bros. 2.

After each challenge, this speaker thing shows up (pretty sure he’s supposed to be like a game show host?) and tallies up everyone’s score. The contestant with the least score gets “eliminated” and removed from the game.

The results screen. Leafy did rather poor on the last challenge, so she’s out of the game.

The game continues like this until you lose (have the least amount of points) and get booted to the game over screen, or until you are the last one left, in which case you win Dream Island! (Though of course in reality you just get booted back to the title screen. No Dream Island for you.)

The victory screen, with the gates to Dream Island in sight. Feels more like the gates to hell given how Pin’s staring at me.

It’s a fairly easy game for NES standards (I won on my first try). Took me about 80 minutes on my first playthrough, though subsequent ones could take less than an hour as I knew what I was doing. The brevity and the fact it saves your high score gives BfDI a nice sense of replayability (though this is probably best done sporadically, as the challenges tend to get a bit samey after a couple of back-to-back playthroughs).

So yeah, just wanted to share this in case anybody else has heard of it. I’ll probably rip the sprites and upload them sometime later cause it doesn’t look like anybody’s done that yet.

[mrsbsmooth]

Smut writing 101: What I wish someone had told me when I first started.

So a conversation with @queen-of-boops and @longbobmckenzie sparked this post. Sarah already wrote a list of tips for writing a villa fic which was really helpful and people expanded on it a lot, so we thought it might be helpful to share a few tips for writing smut from some of the writers that do it a lot.

This is a long-ass post, because I've learned a lot over the years. So right at the end, there's a mini how-to guide for how to turn your smut from IKEA instruction manual into an explosion of sexual tension.

In addition, I would love for others to add on to this. This fandom is horrifically talented especially in writing brain-melting smut, and this is just what I could come up with in a few hours. But I'd love to hear from other people and have them add on extra bits!

A few resources before we begin:

The Smut Writer's Dictionary

The Ultimate Guide to Writing Smut Fic [HIGHLY recommend sections ii (Reaction words), iv (sexy alternatives to 'said'), xii (generally acceptable slang terms) and xvi (Some do's and don'ts of smut writing).]

OneLook Thesaurus is much better than other thesauruses at suggesting words for smut (I've found).

Now, on to the advice!

Tip #1 - It's normal to find it difficult and cringe to write. Own it.

Smut can be intimidating. It can feel really cringe and awkward and you might feel like people are judging you for it, and you know what? Sometimes they are. Smut isn't for everyone, and not everyone wants to read it, and that's why ratings and tags exist on Archive of Our Own. But you shouldn't be ashamed of writing it. Smut is fun and awesome and people who do like reading smut often love reading it, and will absolutely eat up whatever you give them. So go nuts. Write what you want to see, write what you want to read. That's advice for everything, but it's especially relevant for writing smut. Because if you feel awkward, it can sometimes show through. Lean into it. Let it happen. If you make yourself blush, you’re doing a fucking awesome job.

Tip #2 - Writer’s block.

I've written hundreds of thousands of words of pure, unadulterated filth, and I still struggle to push into it sometimes. The leadup comes so naturally, the tension builds, they're kissing, they're starting to touch each other, and then-- writer's block. I stare at the page and tap my fingers and go... huh. Same with writing really effectual kisses, or writing orgasms. There's all this pressure to make it the best written orgasm that's ever existed in the English language and it really doesn't need to be. Just put something down. 

If your doc looks like this:She clawed at the wall, knowing she was coming apart at the seams, the pressure building inside her. He didn’t let up. [orgasm bla bla bla]. She took a deep breath. She drew herself off him. She turned around. And she fell to her knees. [blowjob and he's loving it].

Then your doc looks just like mine.

Tip #3 - Pick the right words for everyone’s bits. 

See the resource above for suggestions! People have very different preferences when it comes to what to call a cock or whether or not to use the word ‘cunt’. Adjectives, adverbs– there are so many different opinions. Like personally, I have to physically restrain myself from throwing a fic across the room if it uses the word hole but that is my personal preference, and I am massively in the minority there. But my advice is threefold:

Read widely to find out what you like,

Write what you like,

Know your characters. 

Language will vary by fandom, by character, and by setting, and it’s an opportunity to really solidify their characterisation by carrying this into smut. An arrogant fuckwit who’s bedding his mortal enemy in a fit of hate-sex might use ‘into her slick cunt’, whereas a sweet, wholesome guy who’s desperately in love might say ‘pushed inside her’. But the more you read, and the more you write, the more you’ll find certain words or phrases you’re more comfortable with. 

The more smut you read, the better understanding you’ll have of what you like. The better understanding you have of what you like, the easier it will be to write. 

Tip #4 - POV can help you

Picking the right POV can make your life easier. For example, I once wrote a M/M/M threesome. That fic ended up being my very first ever 'first person POV' fic. Why? Because it turned one set of ‘his hand’ into ‘my hand’. Made it easier to understand the logistics of ‘his hand on his waist’, etc. Maybe it's lazy, maybe it's genius. I thought it was a bit of both. 

Consider whose POV is going to be the most impactful. If you’re not sure, try writing a paragraph from each. You’ll figure it out quite quickly. 

Tip #5 - Dialogue

You don’t have to include dialogue in your smut, but it can really help with pacing things and showing when the ‘end’ is approaching. Anyone who’s ever read any of my smut ever knows I’m a huge fan of cutting people off mid sentence in smut dialogue. 

They start out with “Oh yeah? You think you can make me X?” And the other person goes “Sweetheart, I’m going to make you X so hard you don’t Y for a Z.” 

But then by the end it’s “You feel–” and everyone’s gasping “Oh, fuck–” and sobbing out “I’m so– I’m gonna–” 

To me, this helps to build pacing and tension and show without telling that the end is approaching. But honestly, that’s just me– I enjoy reading people being very vocal in smut, so that’s how I write them. If that’s not your thing, then don’t do it. Simple as that. 

Tip #6 - Don’t skimp on the finale

Orgasms are hard to write. We all know that. There’s all this pressure to write the best most explosive monumental earth-shattering orgasm that’s ever existed in fiction, and honestly, it probably won’t be. But you still need to give it the time it deserves. 

As an avid consumer of smut, there is nothing more frustrating than five pages of buildup, incredible smut, tension rising, rising, rising– and then the orgasm happens in two lines and they’re immediately having a conversation afterwards. This is, no pun intended, the climax of your scene. Give it a paragraph. Hell, give it two paragraphs. Give it four. The climax is something you can write in excruciating detail and it will almost always be better for it. You can decide whether they come at the same time, or whether one comes immediately after the other (personal fav so we get to read two orgasms. Yay! Two cakes!) You can hyper-focus on every single sense. Here are some examples for writing orgasms:

Feel/Touch

The feeling travelling through the character’s body/ zones: up their spine, through their thighs, ‘deep inside them’

Their partner continuing to thrust/move

Their partner’s grip on their body, or maybe a kiss

Fingernails digging into shoulder or raking down a back

Legs squeezing

Smell

Personally I think this works better for the leadup and afterwards, but if you want this in here you absolutely can. Pheremones, cologne, aftershave, perfume, sweat, hair gel– whatever makes them smell like them. 

Sight

Their partner’s face and get detailed! Lips parting, brow scrunched, eyes closed, face in beautiful agony, wax poetic as fuck about their partner's face! What is hotter than making someone come and watching their face while you do it!??!!?

Darkness (blindfolded 👀)

‘White light behind their eyes’ is a cliche for a reason (fucking love this one)

Seeing stars/heaven see above lol

Taste

Harder to put into an orgasm but salty skin, lipgloss/lipstick? Whatever you want really

Sound

Big one. Their partner’s breath or moan as they watch/feel character’s peak

Their own breath/moans (or lack thereof can be just as effective, a ‘sudden silence’ as their breath catches in their throat can work WONDERS)

Bodies slapping together (doesn’t always work but when it does it does)

External sounds, especially rhythmic ones. A train clacking or a club baseline could simulate a heartbeat/shockwaves that you could lean into.

Pick multiple senses and focus on them. This will fill up a good bit of your climax writing. 

But you should also let them come down from it! DON’T SKIMP AFTERCARE (or after-hate??)

Tip #7 - Aftercare!

I missed this so often when I was new to writing smut and I didn’t realise how effective it could be! I always just faded to black immediately afterwards because I didn’t want to deal with the ‘cleanup’. And you don’t have to go into detail, but at the very least, give them a few minutes– a paragraph or so after the sex. The immediate aftermath of the act itself when you can really focus on the relationship. 

If they’re mortal enemies who’ve just fucked and are now horrified? Have them panting into each others’ skin. Their breaths suddenly become sharper and more reserved. They pull back from each other. Someone glares or someone says something snarky or awful. Someone showing aftercare or affection here (or being particularly cruel) reveals a lot about their character.

If they’re deeply in love and it’s comfortable for them to do so, maybe let them just lay there for a second, enjoying the feeling of each others’ bodies and letting breaths fall warmly and smiles tug at cheeks. Soft kisses, laying in silence, affection, etc. 

If they’re best mates who just fucked by accident, have the silence be awkward and have no one breathe at all. It’s tense and awkward and one has to ask the other to go get a towel or something and the other is like ‘oh, yeah, um, right’. 

Don’t skip this! It can be so impactful!

Overall Tip - Beware the ‘IKEA Instruction manual’!

The #1 most common mistake, in my opinion, in writing smut is ‘Insert Tab A into Slot B’. It’s things like, 

He moved his leg A, she touched B. He lifted her arm to C, holding her D’s, before slipping down to cup E. She ran her hands up F, touching his G, feeling his Hs caressing her I as she lifted her J and draped it over his K.

When I read this, I’m not focusing on the smut. I’m doing mental gymnastics trying to keep track of what position they’re in in my head because I’m assuming that it’s important. If you feel yourself doing this, stop. Refocus. Remember whose POV you’re in. This isn’t to say you should never tell the reader what’s happening. Just make sure to break it up a little!

Balance actions with senses. 

Let’s say you start with a basic action. (The example is buildup to smut, not actual smut, but the idea is the same)

“His hand moved from her knee to her thigh.”

-> Instead of writing what they’re doing, write what they can sense.

“His hand moved from her knee to her thigh” becomes “She felt his warm hand slide from her knee to her thigh.”

-> Now, make the phrase active. Instead of ‘she felt’, make it a description.

‘She felt his warm hand slide from her knee to her thigh’ becomes ‘Warmth erupted on her skin as his hand slid from her knee to her thigh’.

-> Give it details, and draw focus to them.

His fingertips skimmed her inner thigh as his hand slipped from her knee and moved higher. The silk of her skirt gave way to the warmth of a coarse, rough palm. Her skin seared beneath it. But every other inch of her shivered with anticipation.

In three steps, you’ve gone from IKEA tab A to slot B to a pretty good section for building tension. 

Examples of writing senses:

What can they feel? - ‘She’d never been so pent up, so wired, so on edge, and every flit of his practiced fingers on her waist had goosebumps shooting up her spine’.

What can they taste? - ‘She could taste the sweat on his skin, the coconut suncream on his shoulders, the salt of the ocean on the hints of stubble at his jawline.’

What can they smell? - ‘Her forehead pressed to his, that smokey, heady cologne engulfing her; curling her closer in time with his arms around her.’

What can they hear? - ‘He watched her every move, breathing quickly, so she looked him directly in the eyes as she undid his belt. Belt. Button. Zip purring as she tugged it down towards her.’

What can they see? - “Then, they opened, and he was treated to the sight of her looking up at him from her knees. Her eyes said fuck me. Her mouth said fuck me. Everything about her. Fuck me. Fuck me.”

I hope this was helpful in some way. I really would love to hear any other tips and tricks that writers would like to add to this. Obviously Mo and Sarah are already tagged, but this is a full and open free-for-all.

Add your thoughts! Add what you've learned! Add what you wish you knew!

I'd love to hear it <3

[mastersoftheair]

"Masters of the Air details: Part 1-Graphics

"[...]I had the pleasure of working with the graphics department on many topics from navigation to mission planning, forms, manuals, research and just plain answering questions.

"Dan Burke was the department head but I mostly worked with Megan Jones and her wonderful pup Indy.

"When on set, like in one of the offices that you have seen in the first two episodes or anywhere else in the series, you will see bulletin boards, clip boards, file folders and in/out trays and typewriters filled with paperwork. If you were able to pick up one of these documents you will find actual 100th BG documents faithfully recreated and they are also pertinent to the specific time of the scene. And I am not just talking a page on top but all the way through the stack!

"The mission orders came in to the bomb groups via teletype machines and were printed out on special sized roll paper. Meg found a guy who had working WWII teletypes and then she found the exact paper. She printed up the correct mission reports and they were coming out of the machines and looked great!

"One of the things that Meg asked me about was the navigation paperwork. Crosby had several scenes where he was navigating and just what kind of paperwork would he have had?

"Charts, maps and navigators logs was the answer to begin with and I had brought examples of those with me to teach the actors how to look like they could navigate. I even had some of my Dad's paperwork and nav kit along. Meg recreated his bare nav log to use with Crosby's scenes.

"We then looked in to the mission routes so we could fill out the nav logs and mark the charts and big briefing wall map accurately. I dove in to the archives mission files that they had procured from sources in the US but since this was deep in the middle of COVID the archives were closed down and getting additional research information was problematic. The National Archives in the UK opened up and I was there on the weekend doing research. Instead of the multi generation degraded copies that production received from the US these files were all original and in perfect condition. Incredible stuff for sure with all of the photos complete with Air Ministry water marks on the back of the paper.

"In the mission files were the planned route of the mission and also the actual route flown which were often quite different. I dug in to the files and was able to plot out the planned and actual mission routes on charts that Meg had reproduced. For the pilot types reading this I also plotted all of the routes on ForeFlight to help with quick calculations for the headings as we actually put in the winds that were encountered and reported in the mission file. Meg ended up getting Foreflight so we could share the plots and work out the future missions.

"One of the things that I hadn't realized but was revealed in the reports was just how much time was spent in forming up the whole attacking armada. Each bomb group would all take off and form up over their own air field. Then they would go to specific assembly areas and form up the wings and full task force. It took two, three or more hours of flying just to do this over the UK before they headed toward fortress Europe. Amazing really and it explains why so many aircrew died during this from collisions climbing through the ugly weather. Hundreds and then thousands of aircraft all coming up through the heavy cloud layer on instruments trying not to hit each other. A lot of them did and a near miss sequence is depicted in the series.

"So when you see the paperwork, posters, maps, teletypes and amazing other details you can appreciate the efforts of Megan and the graphics department. And all of the other departments, Some of which I will try to highlight in future posts if this is of interest." - (Taigh Ramey on Facebook)

[atthebell-moved]

QSMP Language Stats on AO3 (as of June 6th 2023)

Hey hi hello. I just spent 3-4 hours working on this and I'm a little bleary-eyed so forgive the text of this if it makes little sense.

So, I decided to look into the statistics and percentages for QSMP works on AO3 and what languages they're tagged with, to see how multilingual the fandom on that platform is, as AO3 is far easier to do stats on than elsewhere.

Some fun tidbits from the start/tldr;:

QSMP has 1433 works as of today (well, as of checking this while writing it, it's actually jumped up to 1438, but for the data I collected earlier, let's stick with 1433).

English is the most commonly tagged language, at 80.04%, which is a smaller percentage than the percentage of all English works to all works on AO3 (more details for all of this below).

Though the top three languages are spoken on the server, French has no works on AO3 currently.

There's a decent amount of works that are translated into several languages, which is very rad! Doing stats on that would be an entirely different post, with a bit more work involved, but I want to give a big kudos on this as translation is very difficult and is often a passion project in fandom that goes underappreciated.

I got a lot of these numbers just by going through the QSMP tag and filtering by language and then checking manually, but for the larger AO3 numbers I got those on the Languages page, which shoes all languages supported by the Archive.

Now onto the numbers! Everything is below a cut because trust me, this post is long. Viewers beware, you're in for a stats dump.

Numbers, Stats, Percentages, all that fun stuff

QSMP works

[Image Description: A table with three columns; the first lists languages, the second the number of works, and the third the percentage of total works. For the languages column, each language is listed first in that language and then in English in parentheses, and English, Spanish, Brazilian Portuguese, and French are all color-coded to indicate that they are spoken on the server. End ID.]

The most commonly tagged language, like I said above, is English, with 1147 works or 80.04% of total works in the QSMP fandom tag.

The second most commonly tagged language is Spanish, with 254 works and 17.73% of the fandom.

Next is Brazilian Portuguese at 27 works and 1.88%.

And the next four are all much lower: Mandarin at 2 works and 0.14%, Russian at 1 work and 0.07%, Latin with 1 work at 0.07%, Esperanto at 1 work with 0.07%, and French with 0 works and 0%.

I included French because it is the only spoken language on the server without any works, which I find interesting and will talk about further in my notes/analysis later on.

Some interesting trends to note! First thing: English, as one would expect, is the most used language, with 80.04%. I am also unsurprised that English and Spanish are at the top, as I know there's sizable MCYT fandoms for both languages. I think there's a few reasons why these numbers shake out the way that they do, which I'll get into later, but for now I think most would agree that these are what one would expect, aside from perhaps the languages that do have works but are not spoken on the server.

With these, I'm actually not surprised either. After English, Mandarin and Russian are the next two top languages in terms of works on AO3 (numbers below), and for Latin and Esperanto, creating works in those is something that happens often enough in fandom that I don't find it surprising, although with how small QSMP is (in terms of works on AO3 at the moment) it is interesting regardless. I talk a bit more about Esperanto in my notes at the end, but for Latin, as a language people often take in school but rarely use and a language with a lot of cultural hype surrounding it, people who took Latin in high school or even studied it in college with sometimes write or translate fic into it.

Across All Fandoms

Okay, with those numbers at the ready, let's compare to total numbers across all fandoms on AO3. I did this comparison using the same languages as above, but I will also add another table showing the percentages for the top 15 languages on the site, as I find that kind of stuff interesting and I think it's somewhat relevant.

I don't have a confirmed number on the total number of works on AO3 as of when I did these numbers, but according to the AO3 welcome page, they're at approximately 11,220,000 works right now. I'm going with this number, as I know its an updated one probably at least as of June 1, and complete accuracy is not necessarily possible in this instance.

[Image Description: The same table as above, this time with numbers for all fandoms across AO3. End ID.]

The most commonly tagged language is English at 10,021,982 works and 89.32% of all works on AO3.

Spanish has 130,024 works and 1.16%

Brazilian Portuguese has 30,549 works and 0.27%

Mandarin has 621,505 works and 5.54%

Russian has 238,699 works and 2.13%

Latin has 149 works and 0.0013%

Esperanto has 99 works and 0.00088%

French has 52,904 works and 0.47%

Okay! Lots of numbers this time, and some similarities and differences. First thing I want to note is that the total number of works on AO3 being over 10 million means these stats are far more meaningful and show more significant trends than those for QSMP. QSMP also only has 1433 fics, which is MINUSCULE compared to the total number of works across fandoms on AO3. You also have to consider that the number of people who write fic for a fandom versus the number of people who speak it is very different, and you also have to consider platform differences between different fandoms. There are other fanfiction websites in various languages, and that might impact these numbers to some extent.

Going to get into analysis now, as I think discussing how the data compares will get into that pretty quickly anyway.

Analysis:

Disclaimer! Much of this is just my personal opinion, or stuff I've noticed but don't really have numbers on or too much info on myself. I would love to hear from folks in the Spanish, Brazilian, and French communities (as well as any others!) about what they're like, especially as regards MCYT. I am lightly familiar with Spanish fandom because of Karmaland and now QSMP, but it's still not wildly familiar to me, and otherwise my fandom experiences are pretty English-centric.

The biggest thing to note here, in comparing the data between QSMP specifically and AO3 broadly, is that the percentage of Spanish fics is far smaller-- it's gone from the near-20% in QSMP to around 1% for all works. This makes sense, considering how many QSMP members speak Spanish, how much Spanish MCYT fandom has grown in the last several years, and the fact that the server is themed around multilingualism and cross-cultural expression, meaning fans who speak multiple languages are more likely to write in not just English and also generally incorporate more of the various languages into their writing.

The difference here is also in terms of audience, like I said. This fandom is far more likely to attract Spanish speakers than Mandarin or Russian Speakers, at least at the moment, so it makes sense that Spanish would have far more works. In comparison to French, also, Spanish has more than double the amount of speakers than French and from my knowledge Spanish MCYT fandom is far bigger.

For Portuguese, I'm not familiar with the fandom, but there does seem to be a decent MCYT fandom going on and I'm impressed with the number of works in Portuguese. I know it seems small, but again, the total number of works really is not that many.

The biggest reason so far that I think English, Spanish, and Portuguese are at the top, aside from just that the first two were on for much longer and the latter for at least a month longer than the French (and aside from the fact that English is so present on AO3) is that those streamers have made themselves much more central to the narrative and to lore than any of the French speakers have, at least so far. The Brazilians showed up and immediately became so involved and so beloved, and while fans obviously like the French speakers, they're not doing quite as much RP nor are they as involved in the Federation lore that much.

I also think one thing I haven't really seen people acknowledge is that Cellbit is very attractive, which of course begets fan attention. His lore is incredible and I think he's a very talented RPer, obviously, but he is also really hot, which means people are more likely to create fanworks about him. For Spanish and English speakers, obviously there are also creators who people are very into (I'm not even going to name any because it's quite a long list and you're all well aware). For the French, not so much. This is not me calling any of them ugly, I'm just saying that I have not seen really any thirsting over any of them aside from a few people talking about Baghera. I'm not going to get into the logistics of fan attention and attractiveness of creators, I just wanted to acknowledge that that is definitely doing Cellbit some favors and is likely making interest in Portuguese and Portuguese fanworks more popular.

Okay I've reached the point of writing this post where I think I've been working on all of this for at least 3-4 hours and I need to stop thinking about it so. That's everything I have for the moment, but I would be happy to hear what other folks think about this. If i said i would talk about something but forgot please just shoot me an ask or something and i'll add on.

Here's some extra notes:

There are a few (not many, but enough to acknowledge) fics that are written in Spanish but are tagged as being in English. I'm not sure if the same is true of Brazilian Portuguese.

Due to the nature of the server, there is also a huge number of works that contain elements of multiple languages, ranging from a few works to a decent chunk of the dialogue swapping between languages. This is not completely unheard of in fandoms, of course, as there are many fandoms which provide the opportunity for multilingualism, but this is fun to note because it's so present in the canon itself. I would argue there's a decent number of fics that are themselves bilingual/trilingual/multilingual, and I wish AO3 had a way of tagging as such. I'm not sure if there are any freeforms along those lines, but I have seen some folks noting in their tags that there's some amount of Spanish/Portuguese in them as well as English, and the same goes for the Spanish fics I've looked at.

Similarly, there's a decent amount of translations! Which is super cool! Translations are usually only done as passion projects by really dedicated fans, so it's really cool to see a (relatively) small fandom (for AO3) with a decent amount of them. I want to stress that translation is very tough work so major kudos to folks doing translations, either of their own work or other's.

The one Esperanto fic is a translation of an English work! Also, if you're unfamiliar, Esperanto is a conlang (constructed language) created in 1887 as an international language meant for anyone from any background to be able to learn. It never picked up much global steam, as lingua francas are far more common and it's still fairly Euro-centric in the language systems it pulled from, but it is likely the most spoken international auxiliary constructed language, and translating into it is often done as a nod to the importance of translation and cross-cultural communication. I think it's very fun that someone translated a work into it for QSMP :]

Also!!! here are the top 15 languages used on ao3 and their number of works. They're not in a spreadsheet bc i got really really tired sorry

english: 10,022,162 mandarin: 621,520 russian: 238,700 spanish: 130,692 french: 52,904 italian: 33,962 brazilian portuguese: 30,549 indonesian: 29,030 german: 22,755 polish: 17,215 ukrainian: 11,041 cantonese: 8,878 filipino: 8,664 vietnamese: 6,565 czech: 5,168

[thefollow-spot]

A Leap of Faith by Misery_C_Epicaricacy & Ynnéalay

Merlin confesses his magic, upending the trust between him and Arthur; when he goes missing from Camelot, a conflicted Arthur must reckon with his fears and prejudices as Merlin’s life is put at stake.

Fandom: Merlin (TV) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Archive Warning: Graphic Depictions Of Violence Category: Gen Relationship: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon, Minor Gwaine & Arthur Pendragon, Minor Gwaine & Merlin Words: 40,475

Fanbinding of A Leap of Faith. Process, commentary, and additional pictures under the cut ♥

First of all, thank you to all the lovely folks from the @renegadepublishing discord for enthusiastically encouraging me to fanbind my own work, though this is not entirely just-mine. This fic was co-written with the awe-inspiring @whoawhataconcept (Misery_C_Epicaricacy on AO3) and this binding is as much a love letter to her writing, her mind, and our creative collaboration as it is to my own contributions.

On: Textblock & Typesetting

I've bound a couple fics at this point, but was saving Garamond for this one because I fell in love with how these particular words look set in Garamond. The headings are done in a simplistic all-caps Calibri with expanded spacing to pay homage to how many hours editing this damn thing were spent looking at the font in question. I've also used font 'Merlin' for the front title page—which I got linked out of the @merlinbingo discord server—and Felix Titling for the interior title page.

The body is printed on EarthChoice colour cream paper, and stitched with red crochet thread.

On: Endpapers

The endpapers were a tricky one for me! They are prints of my own fanart which was not the correct aspect ratio to use as endpapers for a book printed on letter paper. This was also the first large map I created, and if I could go back, there are things I would do differently. But in the end, I decided to use it as-is because I'm proud of it. To fix the sizing issue, I up-sized the map so the width was correct for a letter-sized print, which left a border on the top and bottom of the image—this I filled in with black and red checkerboard pattern to match the banners and standards of Camelot.

Originally, I wanted it printed on this textured, pearl-finish linen paper, but then the print shop I use didn't have it in a large enough size to do endpapers on and I was heartbroken. I ended up using topkote gloss paper by Oji.

On: Endbands

Hand-sewn in red and gold crochet thread. I redid these like three times to find a core I liked, and ended up doing them over tightly rolled paper.

The Dust Jacket

I'm not a graphic designer, so the jacket design is simplistic. It includes a cover, back cover (with a 'praise for' section), and two inside flaps (which contain the fic summary and author bios). I took some cues from this dust jacket post. It's printed on a thicker weight of topkote paper by Oji, this time with a dull finish.

Closing Thoughts

I'm so proud of how this turned out! It's my best work yet in terms of straight-ness of the spine/cover paper, and I learned a lot about printing. Lots of firsts for me here, and I feel that every time I make a book, I improve. I've gifted this copy to my co-author, Misery. Seeing her flip through it, and seeing it on our shelf, is giving me a lot of joy today!

[pompadourpink]

salut maman!! how long does it take to learn french? i guess it depends but wanted to ask

Hello child,

As I'm sure you can imagine, there is no unique answer to this. Not only because how quickly you'll become fluent will depend on your personality, learning style, tolerance to frustration, and the amount of free time you have and are willing to spend working on it, but also because fluency is a blurry concept, especially for romance languages since they're so dynamic and different from what you find in textbooks.

Starting from scratch, if you work half an hour a day, use the right tools, know how to alternate between activities, and learn things in the right order, I think you can get to about B1 in a year and B2 in two - which doesn't seem like much of a difference, but it's actually the biggest one when learning a language in my opinion.

What do I mean:

Half an hour a day: you need things to stick, so ten minutes wouldn't cut it, but I doubt more would be, first, realistic, because you'll have other things to worry about, sometimes you'll be sick, busy or on vacation, and second, sustainable: if you turn the experience into a burden, you'll be consistent for a few days, weeks, months, take one day off, and avoid your notes for the next eight months because you've stressed yourself out too much.

Use the right tools: my favourite resources are le Wiktionnaire (etymology is a good friend), Wordreference, Lenouvelobs and Deepl.

Alternate between activities: getting a grammar book and reading one page a day will make you miserable and steal your motivation. On day one, you can learn articles and practice, on day two, read a Petit ours brun book with the help of Deepl, on day three learn how to pronounce numbers on Youtube... One tip: start the day by reviewing what you did the day before.

Learn things in the right order: my method with beginners is typically to focus on reading and overlook writing and pronunciation for a while so that they can get a good understanding of our syntax, memorise prepositions, tell tenses apart, etc. If on day one, you decide to watch a dubbed version of Friends or Harry Potter, it will be the equivalent of getting a firearm, shooting yourself in the foot and wondering why it's not helping you run a marathon.

I've been tutoring for almost three years so I'll add this: your worst enemy will be your ego. I've heard many times people six months into their journey complain that they speak like a six-year-old without realising that it took the six-year-old six years.

It will be difficult, particularly if your first language is not romance: sometimes you'll have strokes (I have nearly fluent students who sometimes forget that adjectives can need to be pluralized or casually write il mangé convinced it's imperfect), sometimes you'll try to translate English even though it's generally not an available option, sometimes you'll blank over a basic word and rage.

It's fine. It's all fine. Trust the process.

Hope this helps! x

Fanmail - masterlist (2016-) - archives - hire me - reviews (2020-) - Drive

[69misato69]

Kashmir (Alhaitham & Transfem Kaveh) ✦ 1.5k, angst, fluff and comfort

archive of our own ✦ twitter

masterlist pinned on my profile !

being an ally to the trans community is a full time job and acting grand sage mr. haytham has never called in sick

cw: dysphoria

“Kaveh, are you home?” Alhaitham called out from the entrance as he took off his shoes, only to be greeted by giggles and laughter coming from the living room the second he took off his headphones. He peeked through the door, finding Nilou and Kaveh sitting on the floor as his roommate slid a vermillion-colored lipstick along Nilou’s lips. 

She noticed Alhaitham from the corner of her eye and turned towards the scribe with a warm smile, “Hey Haytham!”

Alhaitham smiled back, making his way towards the two and looking down at the tubes and bottles splattered around them. “Hello Nilou. Good to see you. Would you like anything?”

Nilou was the only guest of Kaveh that Alhaitham actually liked. She was calm, collected yet cheerful, every time she visited she would arrive at the door with plates of food stacked between her arms for all three of them to enjoy. 

“Ah, no thank you. We just ate. But there’s some butter chicken in the kitchen if you’d like? Kaveh told me it’s your favorite so I made some.” she chirped.

Alhaitham looked at her in amazement, “Thank you. I’ll be sure to have some at dinner.” 

Kaveh was still placing different shades all over Nilou’s face, though the process seemed arbitrary, it would always turn out stunning in the end. 

“Kaveh, any particular reason why our house looks like a science lab?” Alhaitham inquired. 

The two bursted into laughter at the piles and piles of make-up surrounding them. “They gave Nilou a bunch of free shit so we tried them all today. Some of them are horrid, though.” Kaveh explained. 

Alhaitham hummed, he settled on the divan, reaching for his headphones and the book he was recently occupied with and turned the pages while occasionally looking up at Nilou and Kaveh. After almost an hour of putting on more make-up and eventually cleaning up the floor, Nilou gestured towards Alhaitham. 

He took off the headphones to find Nilou overly excited and Kaveh embarrassed beyond words in front of him. 

“What do you think, doesn’t he look pretty?” 

Kaveh’s smile froze on his lips.

“You…” Alhaitham paused, “You both look delightful.” 

Nilou expressed her gratitude, getting ready to leave for practice. They walked her to the door, Kaveh placed a kiss on her cheek, “Love you, have fun at practice.” 

Nilou waved at both of them, “Love you too! Bye, Haytham!”

Alhaitham closed the door and turned at Kaveh to get a good look. He lifted her chin gently, examining the dark eyeliner and the red shade that ran along her lower lash-line. 

“You like it?” Kaveh asked with flushed cheeks. 

Alhaitham released her chin from his grasp and leaned down to press a loving kiss on her lips, “Yes. You look beautiful.” 

Kaveh looked down in embarrassment and her eyes trailed onto the bag on the floor. She quickly reached to grab it, “Oh, Nilou forgot her clothes.” she said in a state of worry, ready to rush out. 

Alhaitham held onto the bag, “No, that’s mine.”

Kaveh let it go with a relieved sigh. 

“I saw it at the bazaar and I thought you would like it, so I decided to get it for you.” 

Kaveh looked baffled, it wasn’t at all like Alhaitham to buy something impulsively, let alone as a surprise. Even for anniversaries or birthdays, though he didn’t place much importance on them but knew that Kaveh did, he would pick out a gift weeks in advance and ask Kaveh if she would like it. 

Still vexed, Kaveh took the bag and reached inside to feel a soft fabric. 

Cashmere.

It was Kaveh’s favorite, everyone knew that if she could get their entire house covered in it, she would. Though, it was a rare find in Sumeru, the only goods relating to clothing were those that entered the nation as imports from Fontaine. 

Kaveh gasped. She carefully took out the bundle of fabric, twisting it around to figure out what it was. Eventually, as its skirt draped out to the floor, Kaveh realized. 

A dress.

An absolutely stunning, ruby gown that matched her eyes, hairpins and earrings. 

“Haytham…” she struggled to find the words. 

“It is a flexible fabric but they only had one size, so I’m not sure if it would fit.” 

Kaveh folded it neatly and headed for their bedroom, “I’ll try it on.” 

She laid it on the bed, still stunned by how beautiful the color was. Normally, she would never imagine a dress made of cashmere, it was more suitable for sweaters and coats, but the way it was woven so tightly, it looked so comfortable yet elegant. 

Kaveh undressed, reaching for an undergarment with a slight filler to strap it around her chest and reached inside her underwear to tuck. Alhaitham was waiting outside patiently. 

Kaveh cautiously stuck her neck from inside the dress trying not to ruin her make-up and pulled down on the lower part until it sat over her shoulders and hips. 

She walked out to the hallway where they had a full-sized mirror, finding Alhaitham standing right in front of it. His eyebrows raised as an endearing smile formed on his lips. “How does it look?” Kaveh asked nervously. 

Alhaitham moved away from the mirror and stood behind her, “Why don’t you see for yourself?”

Kaveh gasped, absolutely adoring the way the fabric hugged her body, rolling exquisitely around her curves and complementing her eyes. 

Alhaitham hugged her waist, peppering kisses all over her hair and the back of her neck until he heard a sniffle. He pulled away, turning Kaveh around by the shoulders. Her eyes were glossy and her chest heaved dramatically from holding back. 

Alhaitham cupped her cheek with a puzzled expression, “If you don’t like it I can just return it.” 

A single tear broke loose and streamed down Kaveh’s chin, “No… no it’s not that. I love it. Thank you.” 

A tear from her other eye followed, unable to resist the heartbreak weighing on her chest. 

“Then why are you crying?” Alhaitham wiped them off, inevitably coating his fingers with the remains of the eyeliner. 

Kaveh attempted to hold her breath and fight it off, but everytime she tried to speak, more tears came tumbling down like heavy rain falling on the earth. 

“I love it but you—hic—shouldn’t have spent Mora on something that—”

Kaveh’s lower lip began to tremble.

“Something that—” 

Alhaitham held her hand reassuringly, “Something what?”

“Something that I can never wear.” Kaveh barely spurted out right before she began sobbing uncontrollably, as if her heart was being ripped apart and torn into pieces. Her eyes burned from the eyeliner running down, creating dark streams along her puffy cheeks. 

And then it dawned on Alhaitham, how Kaveh always had to keep herself a secret, locked away from the outside world, even from those she held near and dear to her heart. And everything she loved to see herself in would always be kept away, preserved until they would all rot away before ever seeing the light of day. 

Alhaitham brushed the strands of hair covering Kaveh’s face, “You will.” he cooed, “One day. If not here, then we’ll go somewhere you can.” 

Kaveh held onto his hands desperately, unable to see clearly anymore as her vision turned cloudy. 

Alhaitham kissed her forehead, “And people will know me as your husband, because you’ll be so successful there as well, so no one will even know my name, hopefully.” 

Kaveh chuckled in between sobs. 

“But every now and then, I’ll get to flaunt my beautiful wife.” Alhaitham pulled her closer as Kaveh leaned on his chest. She cried and cried until she couldn’t anymore. Alhaitham’s fingers brushed through her hair as his hand rubbed all over her back in soothing motions. 

He picked her up and made his way into the bathroom, sitting Kaveh down next to the sink before he lightly wetted the tissues and cleaned her face. Kaveh sat still, closing her eyes because the burn was too much to handle as Alhaitham worked his way around her eyelids. 

“Why don’t we have a date tomorrow? I’ll cook.” he asked with a hint of hope in his voice. 

“Dinner?” Kaveh asked. Alhaitham hummed. 

“Candles?” Kaveh asked again. Candle-lit dinners were always important in the household. 

Alhaitham chuckled, “Yes, candles.”

Kaveh smiled, she could finally see clearly again now that the make-up was taken care of. It was very rare that Alhaitham would show his true emotions on his face, but right then and there, Kaveh could easily see the affection and slight worry in his expression. 

She intertwined her fingers with his, placing a kiss on the back of Alhaitham’s hand, “Thank you.” 

It was the first time she had ever seen tears on the corner of the scribe’s eyes after years of dating him. 

“Please know Kaveh,” Alhaitham pulled her in for a tight embrace, “...even if the world was against you, I would be against the world.” 

[strawwritesfic]

Ryohei Sasagawa x Female!Reader: Cootie Catcher [Ch. 4]

Summary: You liked it better in the old days, when boys had cooties and didn’t talk to you.

Challenge: “What to do, oh, What to do?” by crimsonxtearx5 on Lunaescence Archives.

Ratings/Warnings/Tags: T (Friends to lovers; idiots to lovers; childhood friends; happily blended family; embarrassing parents; civilian!reader; bookworm!reader; opposites attract; Namimori Middle School; TYB!KHR Cast; no honorifics; boxing club; tutoring; Seven Minutes in Heaven; birthday party; mild language)

Relationships: Ryohei Sasagawa/Reader; Original Character/Original Character; Kyoko Sasagawa & Reader; Ryohei Sasgawa & Kyoko Sasgawa; Tsuna Sawada & Hayato Gokudera & Takeshi Yamamoto; Hibari Kyoya & Reader; Hibrari Kyoya & Ryohei Sasagawa; Kyoko Sasagawa/Tsuna Sawada/Haru Miura

Tag List: @imaginesfire

Master List

Chapter 4: Should Have Made Up Sooner

Getting ready to take your high school entrance exams was hard work. Even for someone as dedicated to school as you, the studying took up a lot of your time. Several months lay between you and those tests, but you wanted to go in completely prepared—which was why giving yourself a rare evening to read a book you actually wanted to read meant a lot to you. You could curl up in a chair in the corner of your room and forget about the stresses of reality for just a little while.

“Honey?”

You turned a page in your novel without giving any indication you heard your mother rapping on the outside of your bedroom door. She’d been coming upstairs with excuses to check on you for the last hour or so. Why did she need your attention this badly? Katsuro had given her a cell phone so that she could constantly text you; now she wouldn’t give you any alone time when you were home either.

“Honey?”

Whatever she needed you for, she wasn’t about to give up and go away this time.

“What, Mom?” you asked with your eyes still glued to your page.

“Aren’t you going to answer that?”

“Answer what?”

“Your phone.” She pointed at the device sitting at the little table next to you. “That’s the fifth time it’s gone off since you came home from school.”

“It’s not ringing right now.”

“But it was about ten seconds ago.”

Could she not tell you didn’t want to talk about it? Of course not. Even the person calling you incessantly couldn’t take the hint, so why should you expect your mother to? You did not attempt to continue the conversation. She didn’t get that either. When you remind tight-lipped, she crossed the room to kneel next to your chair.

“That nice Sasagawa boy has been leaving you messages, hasn’t he? Don’t you think the polite thing to do would be to call him back?”

“I’m not going to call him back,” you said flatly., and turned another page in your book as loudly as you could. “If he needs to talk to me that badly, he can talk to me at school.”

Or Ryohei could talk to you at school, if he could find you. He hadn’t managed to do so yet. Hibari had given you permission to skip tutoring for the week, which left you free to leave the school grounds as soon as class was over. Throw in eating lunch in a different place every day, and Ryohei shouldn’t ever have a chance to discuss the Seven Minutes in Heaven incident with you before you left Namimori Middle forever.

“When you have a crush on someone, you aren’t supposed to avoid them. Not all the time, anyway. And I really don’t think he’s the kind of boy that wants someone who plays hard to get,” your mom put in.

“Mom, I am not playing hard to get. Okay? And I don’t have a crush on Ryohei.”

“Didn’t you say you get butterflies in your stomach when you seem?”

“Well—”

“And that your face gets all hot when you say something dumb around him?”

“I mean—”

“And that you get annoyed when you see him spending time with his sister’s best friend?”

This was what you got for opening up to your mother. Ask her to take you to the doctor for all these crazy symptoms, and what did you get instead? Constantly heckling about the wonders of puberty. She’d even refused to let you stay home from school for those first few days after Ryohei’s party. Maybe if she had, you wouldn’t be forced into such drastic measures to keep Ryohei away from you!

“I’m just coming down with something,” you mumbled for what felt like the fiftieth time.

Your mother reached up to hover the back of her hand against your forehead. “You don’t feel warm to me.”

“Well, then I must be starting to get over it.”

“Then I think you’re healthy enough to call the boy. He’s your best friend, [Name].”

“I know.” You couldn’t help sounding so miserable. Did she think you enjoyed eating lunch all alone every day? “But I don’t know what to do.”

“It’s okay to have a crush on him, you know. It’s perfectly normal for girls your age. And mine! All those things you feel? I feel them when I look at Katsuro. And I’m normal, right?”

“Debatable.”

“Hey! He’s my best friend, just like the Sasagawa boy is yours.”

“Mom, you’re only making me feel worse. I don’t want to like Ryohei like that.”

“Why not?”

You chewed on your lower lip in lieu of answering.

“Before all this started, you two were inseparable,” she went on. “I hardly saw you around the house without him attached to your hip.”

“I don’t want that to change! I mean, he’s the only person at school that talks to me, other than Hibari.”

“And you’re repaying his kindness by refusing to talk to him?”

“I…” You swallowed roughly. For once, your mother was completely right—not just about how you felt about Ryohei, but how badly you were treating him. Your throat felt tight with tears as you said, “I just hoped it would go away.”

“Your crush?”

You took a deep breath, placed your book on the nearby table, and curled into yourself on your chair. “Yes.”

“It might, Sweetheart. But do you want him to have found another best friend in the meantime?”

“No,” you moaned.”

“Then I really think you should call him back, or at least pick up next time he calls you. I get the sense he really misses you, and for what? A silly game of Seven Minutes in Heaven?”

“You’re right. Thanks for the advice, Mom.”

“Anytime.” She stood to walk out of your room, but paused before she exited entirely. “I’m going to go make dinner. If you need anything else, you know where to find me. Don’t spend all day reading. Okay? At least try to talk to your friend.”

“I will. I promise.”

“Good.”

With one last meaningful glance at your cell phone, she left you alone. You looked at it yourself. A blinking light indicated you had another voicemail. No points for guessing who had left it. And while, yes, you’d just given your word that you’d quit ignoring him, you didn’t feel ready yet to discuss the Seven Minutes in Heavens debacle—especially not with Ryohei himself. What would you say? How could you convince him hurt feelings weren’t the cause of your sudden disappearance? Obviously, you couldn’t tell him the truth.

“Ten more minutes,” you told yourself. You’d nearly finished chapter five anyway, and focus would come easier when you didn’t have outstanding words to read. One chapter was surely better than the entire book in terms of procrastination.

Picking your book back up, you settled back against the chair cushion just in time for your phone to start buzzing once more. The sudden flood of nerves felt like a punch to your stomach. No! You weren’t ready! But you had promised.

“Hello?” you said after accepting the call.

“[Name],” the voice on the other end roared. You winced as you wrenched the phone away from your ear. “Finally!”

“Hi, Ryohei. Listen, I—”

“Can you open the door? It’s sweltering out here!”

“Can I—where are you?” You twisted in your seat to push back the curtain hanging across your bedroom window.

“Outside your house, of course!” he said, just as you spotted a head covered in short, silver hair below.

“What? No!”

Despite your protests, you were already up and dashing for the front door. Ryohei, however, did not know this. He rambled on, “Well, you wouldn’t talk to me at school, and I can never find you after school, so I—”

You yanked the door open and interrupted him mid-sentence. The two of you stared at one another until you took your phone away from your face and ended the call.

“Hi,” you said awkwardly.

“Hey,” he said, just as awkwardly. “I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for ages.”

“Yeah. Sorry about that.”

You both stared again. Heat crept up the back of your neck. Your lips twitched. Those awful stomach butterflies returned with a vengeance. Could this really be as normal as a teenage crush? The mere sight of Ryohei hadn't ever made you feel like you wanted to run and hide under your bed before, and standing there at your doorstep, you would have traded just about anything to not feel that way again.

“Do you want to come in?” you asked at last.

“Only if you want me to.”

“Why wouldn’t I want you to come in?”

“Because I didn’t kiss you!”

Your mouth fell open. Sure, you’d heard Gokudera tell Ryohei the truth behind Seven Minutes in Heaven, listened to the voicemails begging you for a call back, and endured Kyoko’s suggestions you could just talk to her brother for a minute to straighten things out, but never in a million years had you considered that Ryohei actually believed you’d stopped talking to him because he hadn’t kissed you.

Ryohei must have taken your shock as space for further explanation, so hurried on, “Octopus Head told me everything about the game we played at my party after you felt. I’m extremely sorry that I didn’t kiss you, but I didn’t know that was the point!”

No matter how many times you opened and closed your mouth, no sound came out.

“[Name]? Are you extremely mad at me?”

“I—” Success! A single word! Now to string a few more onto it before Ryohei had any crazier ideas. “No! I’m not mad at you at all.”

“You’re not? Are you sure?”

“Positive!”

“Then why have you been avoiding me?” he demanded.

You took a deep breath and prepared yourself to lie your butt off. You hadn’t felt very well the last couple of weeks; please just go home; maybe you’d talk to him this weekend. But Ryohei looked so upset that your fibs died on your lips. How could even look him in the eye when you were going to treat him like that?

So you didn’t. You moved your eyes to your feet and told him the truth: “I was just embarrassed doing that in front of your friends. I’m really glad you didn’t kiss me.”

“You are?”

You nodded. “I’m just not used to playing games like that.”

“So you forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive.” Finally, you worked up the nerve to face him again. “I’m sorry I’ve been such a jerk.”

“It’s no problem! Kyoko says sometimes people can do weird stuff when they experience an extreme shift in their homelife.”

Well, Katsuro wasn’t what you’d call an extreme shift in your homelife. He’d been a fixture there for quite some time before he and your mother tied the knot. But you had no intention of weaseling out of the excuse Ryohei had offered you. You wanted your best friend back at school. At least he had other friends to spend time with when you were giving him the cold shoulder.

“Thanks, Ryohei.” You smiled. “And next time you have a party, maybe we can play something else?”

Ryohei did something strange when you said that: He frowned. Before you could ask him why, though, he hitched his usual grin back in place.

“If it makes [Name] extremely uncomfortable, we’ll never play Seven Minutes in Heaven again.”

“Good.”

Perhaps his disappointment had just been in your imagination. Why would Ryohei be disappointed about not getting shoved into a dark closet with you again? You doubted he had much actual interest in kissing. An underclassman had tried to him a lunch just a few months ago, and he’d only promised to remember to bring his own lunch from then on so no one felt obligated to sacrifice their own meal for him.

“You want to come inside?” you asked. “We have Yakult.”

“Yes, please!”

You stood aside to let him in. Ryohei stopped in the entryway to take off his shoes, and you marched into the kitchen, pulled out the Yakult and some coconut water, and got busy mixing the drinks.

“Two glasses?” Your mother asked as she wandered into the kitchen. You could tell by her smile that she already knew, but you answered anyway:

“Ryohei’s over.”

“Oh, that’s wonderful! Did you two make up?”

“Sort of. We weren’t really fighting.”

“Oh, I get it.” She winked at you. “Don’t worry. Your secret’s safe with me.”

“What secret?” asked Ryohei. Of course. Now he showed up, just in time to overhear that.

“Hi, Ryohei,” your mother said.

“Hello, Mrs. [L Name]! How are you doing to the extreme?”

“I’m fine. Just lonely lately, what with [Name] off at school so often and Katsuro working long hours.”

You waggled a finger at her over your stirring. “Quit trying to make him feel bad. Grandma visits almost every day. And you know Ryohei isn’t the one keeping me at school so long. I already told you that’s Hibari.”

Your mom did not reply to this. For several blissful seconds, you thought she might wander off to go do her own thing. But you could not be so lucky. The next words out of her mouth were:

“So Ryohei, are you and [Name] dating yet?”

“Oh, my God!” you shouted before Ryohei had an opportunity to comprehend the question. Thankfully, your apparent distress got his attention at once.

“What happened? What's the matter?" he asked.

You grabbed his wrist. “I just remembered.”

“Remembered what?”

“I left my umbrella at school today. It might rain tomorrow. We need to go get it!”

“But your mother just—”

“Right now!”

Without waiting for her to say anything else to keep either of you there, you dragged Ryohei by his arm out of the kitchen and toward the front door. The Yakult would have to wait for a safer time. At least for now you had your best friend back…so long as your mother’s big mouth didn’t put an end to that once more.

[dunnedora]

Local girl has breakthrough: her code finally seems to work (90% of the time)

So, for those of you following me who are archaeologists, you may be aware of the ADS (Archaeology Data Service). It’s an invaluable resource, containing data on a huge range of sites, and providing a repository for vast amounts of UK grey literature and site archives!

You can also download the site data to do your own analysis! (Woo!)

Well, you can do that, but there is one tiny, slight, almost unnoticeable error that probably doesn’t matter anyway (/s)

You see, when you query the site data, to show, e.g. sites with “Iron Age Weapons”, it splits the two terms, so it’ll show you all of the sites with both weapons, and Iron Age finds.

So the data ends up full of garbage.

Woo! I’ve got 646 sites I can plot on a map, except a bunch of them are like, Roman sites where they found 1 Bronze Age arrowhead (a weapon!) and a single Iron Age potsherd (an IA find!). Yay.

So I, being a really sensible young woman who doesn’t get distracted by ancillary nonsense all the time, have to spend hours and hours of my time patiently sorting through every single site to remove all of the ones that, in fact, do not contain Iron Age Weapons from my Iron Age Weapon dataset. (This is only mildly soulcrushing and only 90% of the reason my essays keep end up being late). 

BUT NO MORE!

I’ve finally developed an R script that will do (90%) of the job for me, and it’s only taken 3 years of being sick of this nonsense! (What do you mean I should have been writing my essay that’s due in a week?)

So, first, we have to combine all the data downloads into a single file (it only lets you download data for 50 sites at a time for some reason).

Then, we can tell R to look at the ADS webpage for the site, where we can find the site’s various artefacts, and their associated periods! (Obviously I did this properly, and not with a hackjob of RegEx searches through HTML code, she says, lying). This isn’t included when you download the site data, for... reasons?

And now we’re sorted!

Except for the 75% of sites on the ADS that don’t have each artefact matched with its period on their webpage. (They tend to list periods in one box, listing every possible date for parts of the site; and the finds/structures in another, without specifying their period.)

So now I need to get R to open up the ADS page, then find the link to their source, open that webpage and begin scouring that page for any reference to the stuff we’re looking for. The ADS sources its site data from a wide range of sources, so we need to make sure that the code can find all of those, and then parse them properly. Some of these aren’t machine-readable, so I’ll still need to do those by hand.

By far the most common source for this data is an old English Heritage service called Pastscape, which gives summaries of research from the actual literature. Except this isn’t designed for machine-readability, so we’re back to hacky RegEx to pull out every reference on the pages for the “Iron Age” or for one of the thousands (by which I mean about 30) different terms for “weapons” that might be used!

Previously, I had just left it there, letting it pull out those references, and then making me respond to whether or not they were what I was looking for.

But Now I Have Fixed It!

It only took... several hours.

So now it can look around in adjacent blocks of code for the relevant context for the random word “dagger” and see if it’s actually come from the Iron Age! And then dump it in a csv file with all the other information I need!

And then I can use another function I made to fix up the rest of the data and clear up the garbage!

And then another one to extract the OSGB grid references from the horrible long text strings that the ADS calls “location data”! (I was going to also make it convert these to WGS84 Lat/Longs, but it turns out my old Bionic Beaver installation is missing dependencies for the most common spatial analysis modules, so I’ll just bulk convert these online)!

This is going to speed up this type of analysis so much it’s unreal! :) <3

...it’s a shame that this is my last essay that is likely to use ADS data for anything :D (d’oh!)

[xtrablak674]

I am a Low Key Nerd and Naturalist

Nerd is so passé, I prefer 'complex human being'. But what I do know is, I am not apologizing to anyone for anything I wish to post. I ain't got no kids, and my parents is long dead. Last I checked ain't a single person paying one bill up in this house except me, I have no one to be beholden to regarding my activities.

Generally speaking I like to stay away from including nudes on this particular blog since I have posted more than enough of that other places on the internet. But, I feel no need to pretend that if I am going to get the opportunity I am going to celebrate my work before anything else.

Meaning I am mildly excited about iPad iOs 17, which in all actuality only has like really five cool updates, but one of them that I am not sure if its been on the phone for a minute or not, is the changing lock screens.

On my early 2008 Macbook Pro I had my desktop changing like every ten seconds with a bunch of photos from my porn archive which I had on an external drive. I always love to have an electronic device with some changing element. Traditionally on my tablets, and this is my third, I utilize my abstract work as lock and home screens. Usually two different images that will be unique to that specific device.

This Os update now allows me to indulge myself and my body dysmorphia, or put a more public face on my tablet. Albeit I plan on never leaving the house after that damn flu I caught on my daily walks, I think the public face for my tablet will be rarely used.

Another feature which is solely a personal fav is the ability to run more than one timer at a time. Sometimes I am washing something and want it to soak for four hours and during this time I may order some food and need to set a ten minute timer so I can perfectly time getting dressed for the delivery person. Now I can do that!

I also love how they show the countdown on the lock screen. I am going to be honest since I don't have a phone the lock screen was never a big thing to be, but with the tweaks to the clock and the widgets Apple is making it a more welcome place for a bit more creativity and self expression.

I love how they took into consideration the vertical and horizontal orientation that tablet user utilize and made sure the screens could be formatted to the orientation of the device, it took me playing on my second tablet to find the fully tweaks, but I enjoyed the intuitiveness in the design.

Eighteen page PDF, I read the whole thing about all the new features, so many things I don't use like the health app, air pods, Safari, FaceTime or rarely use if at all. I did try out the new iMessage tricks and tried out the new tool bar they have changed out the old one for.

I love how we can do voice notes that are sent with transcriptions. It makes the audio a bit more permanent, since I am sure the transcript can be copied and pasted. But I enjoy sharing my voice with folks so they can get all the nuance of exactly what I am saying and most importantly HOW I am saying it.

Technology and me have always been friends but I think it wise to use it smartly and don't overdo it. My twenty-seven year old nephew has a Macbook Air, AirPods, Apple Watch, iPhone, and iPad. I told the nigga straight up he needs to buy some stock in Apple with him putting so much money in their pocket! #ForRealThough

I have only had like five computers and three tablets:

Mac SE (91 - 97 | returned to Campi)

Apple Powerbook 5300 (96 - 97 | recalled by Apple)

Apple Powerbook 1400c (97 - 01 | still have)

iMac G3 (02 - 09 | lent to Techu, never returned)

Macbook Pro (08 to present)

Tablets

iPad - 16 GB (2008 to present)

iPad Pro - 256 GB (2019 to present)

iPad Pro - 1 TB (2022 to present)

Currently I still use two of my tablets, and now that I have deleted a lot of data I can use my Macbook Pro to take trips down memory lane in the form of old photos, designs, videos and memories. I am a bougie bitch and primarily only deal with Apple. I could have bought a new laptop but my iPad Pro especially with the Apple Magic Keyboard really has all the computing power I need for my current needs.

I did win a FreePC through that advertising scheme years ago, where they gave away "free" Windows computers that had very heavy advertising on them. Anyway my yoga was shot today because I spent the morning on my laptop then got caught up in iOs 17 and that was all she wrote.

Today is supposed to be my regularly scheduled program day and I only got through two episodes of Killing Eve. Anyhow let me attempt to watch my shows, albeit I am excited I have a new distraction that is creating great content for my mini-blog and allowing me to reconnect with some folks who I am sharing what I find.

[Screenshots by Brown Estate]

[crackedoutwalnut]

Sleep (Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader)

Summary: Y/N has been struggling with a case for three days and refuses to sleep until she gains headway. Natasha isn't having any of her crap and forces reader to sleep.

Warnings: Just fluff

Word count: 1,600

A/N: I originally posted this on my ao3 account and decided to post it here as well :)

It had been a week since the terrorist threats had been made on live television and three days since you had been assigned to finding information on the hostile organization known as Anubis. You were S.H.I.E.L.D's youngest and most skilled hacker. They had recruited you just over a year ago when your best friend, Peter Parker, suggested you to Nick Fury. You and Peter had met your freshman year of university; he was a smart young man, if a little goofy. The two of you hit it off immediately, and when he found out how skilled you were with computers, he immediately suggested you join S.H.I.E.L.D.

This seemed to have been a mistake considering you had been up for the better part of 72 hours and still haven't managed to get anything on these assholes. No matter how many times you analyzed the video, nor how many government databases and archives you cross-referenced, there was nothing about Anubis anywhere. The man in the video had been wearing an intricate black mask in the shape of a jackal, the animal symbol for Anubis, the god of death and mummification. You spent an entire evening alone researching Egyptian mythology and how the hell that could tie into a terrorist organization. However, seeing as Anubis has no digital trail or relation to any other hostile organization, your insomnia-addled brain failed to make any connections.

Groaning, you scrubbed at your face and took a sip of your now cold coffee. A total of four coffee cups, two Monsters, and a Redbull now lay empty on your desk. The caffeine did nothing for your exhaustion at this point; however, it was either that or go to sleep. You drained your coffee to the last drop.

Looking down at the bottom of your now empty Avengers mug, you sighed and stood from your desk. Shuffling out of your room, you trudged to the kitchen on the other side of your floor. You readily accepted Natasha's offer to share a floor with you in the tower back when the two of you first started dating. The prices of staying in the fancy university dormitories your school offered were outrageous, even for a S.H.I.E.L.D employee. You two often slept in Natasha's room, despite having a separate bedroom. Your eyes felt like lead at the memories of cuddling up with your girlfriend under a pile of blankets and pillows. Natasha usually did not like sleeping with more than a single blanket finding the heat stifling; however, she usually gave in easily when you pulled her down into the fluffy pile. Rubbing your eye with the side of your fist, you pushed the cozy memories aside and set your mug under the Keurig. Blindly you reached out to grab a coffee pod from a rack to the left of the coffee machine. Your drowsy limbs allowed the pod to slip from your fingers, rolling under the counter.

"Shit," you cursed, crouching down to look for the coffee. After a few moments of clumsily looking for the pod, you finally grasped it and went to stand.

"I've been looking for that shirt," a voice rasped sleepily.

You jumped and whirled around to see Natasha leaning against the kitchen counter. Her shoulder-length red hair was ruffled, and the plain black tank top she wore was askew. You looked down at the Captain America t-shirt that hung down to your bare thighs, "Didn't you steal this shirt from Steve?" you asked with a raised brow.

Natasha shrugged, "He never noticed, so it's mine fair and square."

Turning to face the coffee machine once again, you inserted the coffee pod and pushed the start button. "I'm not sure that's how it works." Natasha chuckled and strode up behind you. She wrapped her arms around your middle, kissing the side of your head. You hummed and leaned back against her, feeling the toned muscles of her stomach and biceps supporting you. She was firm but soft, like an expensive mattress. On lazy days you loved to read with your head resting against her chest. She would idly thread her fingers through your hair and listen to you softly whisper the words on the page. Sighing you, nuzzled the back of your head against the crook of her neck. Your eyes slipped shut as her fingers lightly traced your stomach.

"Where have you been? I have barely seen you these past three days."

"Busy with the Anubis case."

She spun you around lightly and inspected you, her brows furrowed slightly. "You look awful."

You snorted and nudged her, "Thanks, Babe."

She raised a brow, "When was the last time you slept?"

"I took a nap around lunch." You didn't mention that it had only been an hour long for fear of being on the receiving end of the assassin's wrath.

"Y/N..." she warned lightly. "you can't go that long without sleep. It isn't healthy."

You stepped away from her and shrugged, "I'm fine, I just need to clear a few more things up about these assholes, and then I will rest, I promise." You turned around and grabbed the steaming coffee cup. However, Natasha grabbed it from you and set it behind her on the counter. Groaning in protest, you went to reach behind her to grab it. "Nat, come on, I'm fine."

"You look terrible, Y/N," Natasha argued, grabbing your arms gently. "I know you want to prove yourself to Fury and the rest; however, you are of no use to anyone if you are too tired to do your job."

You huffed and looked down at the tiled floor beneath you. She was right, as always. Your mind was foggy and slow, making it hard to do anything productive. A couple of times, you drifted off at your desk. Not that you were going to admit any of that to her, though. "Fine, I will take a nap," you conceded, "But, you have to wake me up at 6. Got it?"

Natasha glanced at the oven clock that read 2:45 before nodding her agreement, "Alright, now let's get you to bed," She wrapped an arm around you and guided you to her room. Inside her sparsely decorated room, she had gathered three extra blankets as if knowing you were going to be joining her. You cursed her for being so persuasive. She laid down under the many blankets and gently pulled you down with her. The moment your body hit the mattress, you felt your body turn leaden. Relief crept through your bones as you leaned into the warm comfort. Natasha wrapped her arms around you and pulled your limp body against her front. You went slack as you felt her soft hands stroke up and down your sides. Your girlfriend pressed a kiss to the base of your neck and hummed contently. A cozy feeling settled in your chest as you let your eyes slip closed.

"One of these days, I'm going to convince you to let me be the big spoon," you joked drowsily.

She snorted and laid another kiss to the top of your head, "In your dreams." You rolled over and burrowed your head under Natasha's chin, her red curls tickling your cheeks. You wrapped an arm around her waist and slung a leg over her own. She chuckled and tightened her grip around you before tucking you more firmly against her. "You're too much of a koala to be a big spoon," she murmured against the top of your head. Her hand crept under your shirt and started tracing imaginary shapes against your back.

You huffed and nuzzled against the column of her neck. "We'll see," you slurred drowsily. Your eyes were now sealed shut with exhaustion and your limbs too heavy to move.

"Shhh, go to sleep," Natasha whispered, squeezing you gently.

"Remember, 6 am..." you trailed off to sleep before finishing the thought.

"We'll see," she murmured.

When you woke up, you found Natasha typing away on her laptop next to you. She wore different clothes than the ones she wore earlier that morning, sweatpants and a red hoodie. You groaned and sat up, rubbing your eyes. "I thought you were going to wake me up?" You questioned, shooting her an accusatory look.

Natasha looked up and smirked, "Oops, my bad. I guess I forgot," she shrugged innocently.

"Natasha, I was serious; I have so much work to do," you complained, moving to get out of bed. Checking the alarm clock on the bedside table, you gasped when it read 3 pm.

Before you could fully slip out from under the blankets, Natasha set her laptop aside and pulled you on top of her. You yelped in surprise as your head fell back onto her lap. "Come on, stay in bed with me. You have three hours until 6 anyways."

You scowled, "That is not the 6 o'clock I was referring to, and you know it."

Natasha grinned and shrugged, "You never specified; how was I supposed to know which one you were talking about?"

"You're an asshole," you complained.

She poked her lip out in mock sympathy and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, "Oh, I know I'm terrible, aren't I? Making sure my girlfriend is well-rested and not overdosing on caffeine, simply awful."

"I'm glad you agree," you muttered, struggling to stand up off her lap.

Natasha wrapped two strong arms around your middle and pulled you further against her, "Come on, three more hours," she moved so that her lips grazed your ear, "I'll make it up to you, I promise."

You melted at her tone and sighed, "Fine, but if you don't wake me up at 6 pm, I swear I'm breaking up with you."

Your girlfriend kissed your cheek and nuzzled against you, "Sure you will."

[thiscrimsonsoul]

damn, sorry about what happened :( at times it feels like the universe is against you, yeah, ik how you feel. or... you start recovering from a traumatic event and then start getting inconveniences everywhere. sucks! but i don't think you've lost your headcanons, aren't they posted on your blogs with the tag '#headcanons'? same with the icons you already posted on some threads, and i thought you could add a gif to a post simply by adding a pre-existing gif. (i don't rp so it might be different.)

{out of paprikash} Under the cut in case people don't want to read my rants, haha.

I have some of my headcanons linked in my directory on my blog, yeah, but I didn't even necessarily mean for Wanda. Like, for one of my other muses, I was in the process of writing out a very long (15 pages and counting in Word) AU for him, and me and a friend had discussed a lot of headcanons in DMs, since we came up with the AU jointly. I had gone back through our conversations and saved a lot of those headcanons just in a Word file so I would remember them to put them into the AU I was writing, and now that file has been lost. So I know that there were things I wanted to add to, change, update, etc. in that AU file, but now I don't remember what they were. I'd either have to go through six months of messages to find all those headcanons again, or just try to remember what they were, and my memory is not great due to meds. I also have a lot of headcanons written down in files that don't necessarily get posted on this site, like things I discuss with friends who aren't on this site or little oneshots I write to explore a character's feelings on a certain subject, and things like that. I store all that in files so I can refer to it later, and anything I did in the last six months was lost. I could use the headcanons tag and sit down one night and go through stuff, but that's a daunting task to do since i have a lot of blogs, heh. With work as it is right now, I don't have the time to devote to doing that.

As far as icons, yeah I guess I can go through all my blogs, back through six months of stuff, and save all the icons that I made myself in that time, but honestly... call me lazy or busy or whatever, but I just don't have the time to do that for like ten blogs. And recently I made like 50 icons for one of my characters but I think I've only used maybe 5 of them so far in threads, so all the others were lost. And my backup computer can't even run the graphic editing program that I used to make them, so... re-making them is going to be difficult at the moment.

And with gifs, there are some that I had recently saved, specifically looking for ones that their creators were okay with people using, making sure I don't steal anybody's stuff, for several of my muses. It took a while, hours, visiting various sites and searching for specific moments that I really wanted, and so they aren't always gifs that I can get through the gif function in posts on this site (which honestly really sucks and half the time it's so glitchy I can't even get it to work). Most often when I search for a gif on site, I get nothing I'm looking for, heh.

For all my muses, I make a folder, icons, info files, and I save things like the avatars, the backgrounds, and other things I used for their blog. I don't use themes, but everything you'd need for a blog theme I save in there, heh. I create it piecemeal myself, it's easier. Some of my newer muses lost a lot of that startup structure because six months ago I had just started setting them up. One of my muses I wasn't writing six months ago, so her entire folder got lost. Anything that wasn't posted on my blogs that I was storing offline was lost.

It's also just disorienting for me. I archive and organize everything, because otherwise I get overwhelmed with stuff. Having everything neatly organized and updated regularly keeps me sane. And now I'm dealing with a six-months-old version of everything, I'm reaching for files that aren't there, wanting to play songs that are no longer downloaded, looking for pictures that don't exist anymore, trying to figure out what did I lose and what didn't I lose... It's just very disorienting to my mental headspace. My perfectionist and micromanaging self is very irritated with the fact that I had everything all neat and updated and now everything is suspect, questionable quality, incomplete, unfinished, missing things, or gone entirely. So yes, there are some things that I can get back, but even having to go back and suss out what I need and where I can get it back from is incredibly draining and frustrating. I'm not a person who organizes well unless there's a solid system, heh, and when the system gets disrupted, it's like "404: brain cannot be found," haha.

But yeah, you're right, I can get back SOME things. But those pictures of my pets and family? Nope. Some songs I had downloaded that I don't quite remember the artist or title for so I can't look them up again? Likely to be forgotten. And all the writing and editing I did for books and fanfics I was working on? That's lost too, and I don't post that anywhere, it's only on my computer, so there isn't a place I can go to recover that.

It is what it is, I have to just move on from here. I'm just going to be a little bit mentally out of sorts for a while until I can redo or do without what was lost. The bigger problem right now is buying and setting up a new computer, because that is a lot of time and money I just don't have right now, but I don't have a choice at this point. My job depends on me having a reliable computer, so yeah.

Thank you for the message, though. I'll be okay, I'm just in shock right now heh. My entire storage on my computer is just... gone. For a writer as prolific with making files as I am, it's very jarring. I'm like a fish out of water without all my shit, haha, but I'll be okay.

[rumblelibrary]

hii!! i saw your requests are open, if you’re not too busy could you write something about Laszlo falling in love with reader (she’s a friend of Sara’s and helping with the case) but he keeps trying to avoid his feelings and remain professional and friendly until then he gets jealous of Marcus (or maybe John whoever you think works best) and starts being mean and pushing her away and then John or Sara are like “really?? can you not see that she likes you?” and he apologizes and it’s all fluffy at the end??

that was a bit long sorry, i hope you’re having a great day💗💗

Worlds Apart [Dr Laszlo Kreizler x Reader]

Word count: 2.5k

Warnings: Laszlo being his usual adorable dumbass

Author’s note: Thank you so much for giving me the chance to write your story, hope you’ll enjoy it 💗💗

The first time your presence graced him was on an infamous rainy day. He didn’t mind rain, but it was the kind of storm that forced kids inside the Institute and some of them really benefitted of the time spent outside. So when you appeared at his doorstep escorted by Cyrus, a little of wetness on your shoulders and your hat, arms tightly grasping a big bunch of paper folders, untouched by the heavy weather clearly at your expenses, you looked like a gift from the above.

“Sara Howard contacted me, My name is Y/N Y/L/N, I work for the Town Hall Archives” you introduced yourself, a polite smile softening him. “It is my pleasure to finally meet you, Dr Kreizler” you added.

He blinked realising he was staring while your words moved past him without affecting him.

“Please, Sara told me you are going to be vital in the unravelling of this case, call me Laszlo”

He opened his arm on side letting you in as Cyrus walked away closing the door behind himself. A sense of guilt creeping over him, he realised how low his mind went to appreciate your physical side first and your sweet smile next, if men were anything different from the beasts, then why indulge still in such raw details. From that moment on, he decided, he would not do you the same disrespect. Little he knew that once he forbid himself to take grace of the sight of you, he would be overwhelmed by your bright mind. As you exposed those files to him you two started working together, day after day, time after time, a little dance of turning pages, soft smile, excited discoveries. Your smile affecting him in unpredicted ways, your good heart weakening his mask, your calm demure forbidding his raging fits. Anything of you made him better, any part of you was loved and worshipped by him, your position quickly transitioning from helpful hand, to admirable being and now to an ideal. A sense of necessity creeping over him every time you closed the space between the two of you to show him something, every time he stared at you wrapped up some archive ladder to find this or that file. Another thing you earned from him with time, the hardest maybe, was the ability to make him chuckle. You weren’t a goofball but you knew when to break down his thought process to bring him back to a quieter state. He liked you, he was even considering to offer you to leave the Town Hall Archives to work as his secretary at the Institute. The benefits of your presence made his work better and your natural tendency to method blessing his day to day activities with balance. Laszlo didn’t like to admit it, but a sense of possessiveness was also growing on him, he knew what was going on in his mind, or to better say it in his heart, but he refused to acknowledge it. The case was on, after the case maybe.

Or maybe never.

That’s what he thought when, after an interview at the house of a potential future patient of the institute, he took a stroll on the main road, his eyes darting on the flower shop only to recognise you there. Your figure associated with the colourful gifts of nature made his heart skip a beat, a sense of joy filled him soon to disappear when Marcus Isaacson figure appeared beside you holding three or four different kind of flowers in large bouquets, all of them meaning something love related: attraction, desire, kinship.

Those meanings pestered his thoughts, your soft laugh hitting his ears like an angel choir. Your hand lifting up as Marcus bowed his head toward you, your bare fingers running through his curls pulling out some wild leaf that got tangled among them.

“Silly me” he chanted like a child that has zero guilt about earning something undeserved “Come on Y/N, pick your favourite, I can’t hold them all forever”.

Laszlo’s eyes narrowed on him, hating the urgency in his voice, before drifting on the big bouquets, the carnations attracting his gaze, the meaning: pure love, faithfulness, also motherly love.

“The carnations” you said without a doubt moving your arms among the flower to pick them, the closeness you shared rubbing Laszlo in the wrong way.

A sudden realisation hitting him, rage boiling as he turned on his heels to rush to the Institute. What a fool he was, mistaking your natural kindness for…what? Interest for a cripple? Tenderness for a lonely angry man? His jaw clenched, rage surging through him, on that day the door of his office slammed so hard nobody dared to call for him, not even for dinner. When the next day you came to bring some papers and revise some new information, he was keeping a two meters distance all the time, if not more. Anything you said was welcomed with sounds the usual good morning disappeared.

“Laszlo” you called him after more than one hour spent welcomed by only silence and grunts “Did something happen? Maybe, I could help..”

“What exactly gives the impression I need your help?” He shot back before you could even mutter another sentence or even conclude the one you just begun.

His eyes raising from the papers he was holding, his hand moved to his glasses taking them off “As far as my knowledge goes, you’re here to support the investigation with documents and research, not to interfere with my personal life or a job like mine that requires not only tact but also a severe respect of the patient’s privacy”

You closed your mouth suddenly as he never reacted in such a way toward you. Usually he seemed to like to engage with you, to hear your thoughts and opinions, now his hard glare was dooming over you like the Judgment Day.

“I apologise” you resumed to say, maybe it was a bad day, those bad days John teased him about so many times, but that you never encountered before.

So you moved back to your spot respecting the distance he wanted, he put his glasses back on the bridge of his nose.

Nothing more was said.

That evening when you were about to leave you thanked him and wished him a good night, as you always did. Silence again, only one hand to be lifted as he didn’t even turn to talk to you. His reaction gutted you and from that day on to visit him turned into the heaviest hours of the day. There was no room for chat, no room for accommodation. You even brought some sweets one day thinking he might like it and he handed those just as quickly to the kids. You even asked him if you wronged him and he said there was nothing wrong.

After two weeks like this, you sat behind your desk at the Town Hall resigned to live with his silence, you stared at a little note he wrote to you once to thank you of your help with some documents titles underneath.

I admire your dedication to the case. Your help is invaluable L.K.

You read, but that didn’t stand anymore, for some reason.

“What’s that long face for?”

Sara asked leaning against your desk as you slipped that piece of paper underneath your notebook. You already gave Laszlo all the documents requested, you could throw that away, but you didn’t.

“I think I upset Dr Kreizler”

Sara looked at you surprised by the way you resumed calling him by his title, like you were trying to gain distance from him. You looked at her incisive look as you quietly explained to her your fears and doubts, what was going on and how you probably should ask John a way to repair the situation, because you were clueless. After your conversation Sara didn’t think about it twice and after concluding her duties she stormed at Laszlo’s office only to find him engaged in the billionth argument with John.

“What have you told to Y/N?”

She asked, a proper mad mama bear as she stared at him mercilessly, she was aiming for the throat and John looked at him puzzled.

“What have you done Laszlo? Having a fine woman interested on you hits so differently?”

Laszlo was about to answer Sara when he suddenly felt attacked on too many fronts.

“Wait, I beg your pardon? I think you have got into some mistake, John”

John looked at him and then at Sara as she shook her head impatiently and already fed up with Laszlo’s ways.

“She does like you Laszlo, where is your problem about it?” She inquired more “Is she not a doctor enough for your likings? Do you want a duchess or something? Because I don’t understand, if you’re not interested to her at least be human”

By this moment Laszlo was still incredule and a chuckle almost left his lips

“I think you are mistaken Sara, Y/N is in a relationship with Marcus Isaacson, I stumbled upon them already”

“Marcus? I thought he was seeing that Esther girl, Lucius complained about his lack of focus more than once, how did you manage to erase her interest that quick Laszlo?” John said surprised and Sara had to hold onto her iron will not to slap the both of them in their faces.

“You two are worse than any little town blabbermouth” she snapped.

John frowned feeling accused and Laszlo was ready to give her a lecture that could last until the end of times when you walked inside in a rush.

“Excuse me” you said out of breath, mud stained your dress as you clearly run your way to her Institute handing them a file “This just came”.

You gulped down as Sara glared at Laszlo while she guided you to have a glass of water.Laszlo studied the document without even acknowledging your presence, another victim served on a plate.

That evening he went to see the body, the Isaacson’s giving a full display of the wounds and marks on the body to him and John. By the rules of the obituary, you and Sara weren’t welcomed inside as they were.  You sat silently, slowly tracing the stain on your skirt thinking how bad Laszlo’s impression of you must be now that you even showed yourself in such an improper manner, such a gentleman like him witnessing you in such a state. When they came out of the obituary Sara stood up as you remained sat, the warm presence of Laszlo now hunting you like a ghost every time he is around.

“The murderer knows we re close” Laszlo stated as he sighed, ashamed that another life was lost “I think that this victim in particular..”

“Y/N!”

Marcus interrupted him rushing out of the obituary with his bloody apron still on, his less than sanitary clean hand on your shoulder as Laszlo was ready to reduce the both of you to dust for interrupting him.

“Excuse me Doctor” Marcus head shot up to him before looking back down at you “Thank you for helping with the gifts, Esther adored them, we are going out again tonight” he said excitedly to you and a big smile, the first of the day, blossomed on your lips.

“I told you, you should trust me more often” you said and he nodded vehemently “If things go this good, I will come to ask you to help me with the ring” he said completely hyped up, bouncing curls everywhere, as you crossed your fingers for him and he repeated the gesture before disappearing again called by his brother who was fed up with his love talks already.

Sara crossed her arms as John’s stare went up to Laszlo’s face, the sudden realisation of his mistake hit him like a bag of bricks. A mix of shame and happiness filling him up. And now the doubt: did he ruined his chances forever? The next morning you came into his office, you never stopped wishing him good morning and being polite, no matter his attitude.

“Y/N” he called you as you were placing your belongings aside. Your surprised look due to his softened tone was unmissable to him.

“Come here, I wish to talk to you”

You grew nervous as he didn’t say much else, so you walked to him sitting on the couch beside him, the one where you shared so many talks not too long before, even if now it felt like an eternity.

“I want to apologise to you” he blurted out all together, no need to move around the topic even though that only affirmation run over you harder than any other phrase.

You didn’t reply, allowing him to proceed.

“I apologise, because I have been selfish and foolish” he said, the fingers of his left hand touching nervously the armchair “I have been mistreating you only because my pride was hurt, I have acted like a man without means and courage.”

You parted your lips but he interrupted you before you could even begin.

“Please, let me finish, I have felt from the beginning a prominent fondness toward you. Your character and your kindness make you a remarkable person, you have the talent of bringing out the best out of most people, me included. But I have misread your ways and pointed your natural disposition to a form of romantic interest directed on me and our common friend Marcus Isaacson”

He was still excluding the possibility of you being attracted to him.

“I thought there was something behind it and I acted like a child instead of asking you directly, and I am ashamed for that”

You stared at him, a little smile creeping onto your lips.

“I think you misread only half of the situation Laszlo, as always you’re too unkind on yourself” you said gathering all the courage you had “because my interest toward you was honest while my relationship with Marcus is nothing by friendly”

Now it was Laszlo’s turn to be silenced, a new realisation creeping into his bones, a hope becoming a possibility.

“And is that honest interest still alive after my despicable ways?”

Your smile grew pulled by the redness spreading on your cheeks.

“Maybe” he interrupted. He didn’t want to wait for your answer, your smile spoke for you “maybe we can further bring this conversation to Delmonico’s, tonight, just the two of us”

Your smile grew bigger, his eyes shining for you.

“It will be my pleasure” you answered only, not knowing a bouquet of carnations was already being delivered at your house to welcome you once you’ll be back.

Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief@thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved​ @fictionlandslanddreams @charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio Let me know if you want to get tagged too <3