#AND SOME OF THEM ARE ON LOAN... THERE'S A TIME LIMIT

[lokh]

me: ohhhh i have nothing to do i just want to sleep ='( <- books and books and books UNREAD

[loveemagicpeace]

🍯Astrology Notes🍯

🪴Virgo rising- are very caring people. They take great care to ensure that you have everything you need, especially for your health. They will be able to tell you a lot about various medicines.

🌱Gemini rising- funny as fuck sometimes. They are people who talk and don't stop. You can discuss all possible topics with them if you want. They have a very open mind. But when it comes to being able to do something, sometimes they are not so open to new things. Let's say one difference between them and Sagittarius is that they are not traveling types and they don't like to travel that much.

💫You will feel most comfortable talking to people with whom you have the same compatible moon and mercury in your house. for example: mercury in the 9th house and the other person has mercury in the 1st house. With this you can see what topics you can discuss with others.

🪐People who has saturn in 1st house looks better when they are skinnier. Because their bones and body structure are more beautifully emphasized. Many times they can have weight problems(they can quickly lose weight from worry).

🍀Earth signs look very down to earth even when they are joking around. Even when they make a crazy joke, they still look down to earth.

🐚Scorpios quickly stop trusting you. You just have to do one thing and they are done trusting you. When they see that you are dishonest to them in any kind of way, they will not trust you anymore. Especially when they get to know someone from the beginning and notice that they didn't tell them something or hid something from them, and as I said, it could be just one small thing like say you're going to say you're eating pizza, but in reality you're eating hamburger. It is small lie. But this is sometimes also one of the reasons why pisces and scorpio don't go so well together. Because pisces tend not to say everything while scorpios are. Many times, pisces swim off into their fantasy world and sometimes get lost in it. Scorpios are always looking for the truth in everything. I have seen successful Scorpio/Capricorn couples many times.

🍁Fire signs are actually very active people. So you have to prove them love with actions. They want to see how much you are willing to do for them and how much you are willing to risk. When you go beyond your limits and do something really crazy for them, they will really appreciate it.

💷2nd house represents your money & 8th house where you invest money. The 2nd house reflects your underlying relationship to money and patterns around money are often deeply ingrained. With the Moon in Cancer here, your emotional wellbeing rises and falls with your bank balance, both of which may be subject to flux. You can be a rags-to-riches success, but with Saturn in the 2nd you might always feel poor, the millionaire who still buys the budget range at the supermarket. The 8th house is concerned with debt and our relationship to institutions which provide loans, mortgages, and overdrafts. Capricorn on the cusp of the 8th suggests paying your dues and insisting on a proper contract, Sagittarius here you can invest a lot in travel or even illegal things.

☀️The Sun is the central flame of our vitality. Acting according to your Sun sign and engaging in activities denoted by the house it occupies are important ways to increase your energy and vigour. For instance, with Sun in the 1st, you might need time alone in order to recoup your energies - the presence of others can drain you, Or with Sun in the 6th, maybe you like to spend spare time working in the garden or catching up on DIY. The Sun in Sagittarius might mean you like to explore far afield; if in Aquarius maybe you like to holiday with a group of friends. Sun in Scorpio- working in the shadows or researching something no one knows about is best for you. Sun in 7th house you like to devote a lot of your time to your partner.

🧸Some signs are naturally more work-oriented and some more suggestive of needing a slower pace. Capricorn (or its ruler Saturn) is often highlighted in the charts of anyone with a strong work ethic - by contrast, Leo, Libra, or Pisces might engender a bit more need for time off, to play, relax, or dream. Each Zodiac sign has its ideal gap year or holiday. The fire signs might favour adventure breaks, the air signs a chance to meet new faces, the earth signs maybe an eco-trip; and the water signs a sojourn by the sea or in quiet, restful places.

🩰The IC and the 4th house describe home, both as a physical place and as an inner sense of roots, safety, and foundation. If you have Jupiter in the 4th, it might feel natural to you to travel around or you might even choose to live abroad - or with Uranus here, you may experience many changes of home(many unexpected moves). With the Sun or Moon in the 4th, you might be so strongly connected to home and homeland that uprooting yourself will not be easy - your Sun here suggests your life revolves around home in some way, the Moon that your emotional wellbeing is closely tied to it. With Pluto you can feel that your home is intense and that you are always transforming through it (but it can also leave bad memories). With Mercury can mean that you change your home a lot. With Mars you may feel that your home is often chaotic or aggressive and you are looking for a home where you can become independent. With Neptune many times your home is confusing, strange. Many times you find your ideal place somewhere by the ocean. With Venus your home is loving, genuine and you have loving parents to whom you love to return. But it can involve a lot of money or love based on it. So you can feel that your parents never really appreciated you if you didn't have money.

🧚🏼‍♀️About Aquarius: I want to say one thing about them. I would say that if they really really want they will do it. But most likely they are independent people & lost souls sometimes. I think that they are scared of attachment. So that's why they are rather alone. They are looking for someone. Who will be goofy as they are.

💌I think Valentine's Day is for Libras. Libra is a sign of love, romance,beautiful things. And if any sign is inclined to & like to celebrate this day, it's definitely the Libra. But I find it a little strange that it is in Aquarius season.

💘Cupido is definitely a Sagittarius sign. Although people don't believe that Sagittarians are so loving and romantic, but they really are. Cupido shoots into the hearts of people who are meant to be together. If you hit a sagittarius deep in the heart with your love, then you can see the true side of them. Then you can see how loving they are.

🌅The people you attract into your life are usually connected to your North Node.For ex.: North node in Virgo in your 8th house- you will mostly be attracted to people who have a virgo placements, scoprpio placements, or pisces/ taurus placements.

🌊Pluto symbolizes power in whatever house it is. The power you feel in yourself and the people around you. Strong experience of feelings. For ex.: 5th house - privacy, romance, jealousy, strong emotions, strong happiness, attitude towards the things you do, you feel strong love, devotion. Obsession with changing partners maybe or affairs idk. 6th house - obsessed with perfection, control, work, high expectations. 7th house - you attract a lot of possessive partners, obsession with your partner, but at the same time you can be afraid to get into a relationship, mistrust. 8th house rulership- curious, constant control, secrets, power over your secrets, emotional transformations, many dark things, connection with birth and death, great interest in hidden things. 10th house - people can see you as a strong opponent, driven for a career, they can see you as a person who has a lot of secrets, you can present people with challenges. Big influence.

-Rebekah🧚🏼‍♀️🩰🌙

[probablyasocialecologist]

Libraries have traditionally operated on a basic premise: Once they purchase a book, they can lend it out to patrons as much (or as little) as they like. Library copies often come from publishers, but they can also come from donations, used book sales, or other libraries. However the library obtains the book, once the library legally owns it, it is theirs to lend as they see fit.  Not so for digital books. To make licensed e-books available to patrons, libraries have to pay publishers multiple times over. First, they must subscribe (for a fee) to aggregator platforms such as Overdrive. Aggregators, like streaming services such as HBO’s Max, have total control over adding or removing content from their catalogue. Content can be removed at any time, for any reason, without input from your local library. The decision happens not at the community level but at the corporate one, thousands of miles from the patrons affected.  Then libraries must purchase each individual copy of each individual title that they want to offer as an e-book. These e-book copies are not only priced at a steep markup—up to 300% over consumer retail—but are also time- and loan-limited, meaning the files self-destruct after a certain number of loans. The library then needs to repurchase the same book, at a new price, in order to keep it in stock.  This upending of the traditional order puts massive financial strain on libraries and the taxpayers that fund them. It also opens up a world of privacy concerns; while libraries are restricted in the reader data they can collect and share, private companies are under no such obligation. Some libraries have turned to another solution: controlled digital lending, or CDL, a process by which a library scans the physical books it already has in its collection, makes secure digital copies, and lends those out on a one-to-one “owned to loaned” ratio.  The Internet Archive was an early pioneer of this technique. When the digital copy is loaned, the physical copy is sequestered from borrowing; when the physical copy is checked out, the digital copy becomes unavailable. The benefits to libraries are obvious; delicate books can be circulated without fear of damage, volumes can be moved off-site for facilities work without interrupting patron access, and older and endangered works become searchable and can get a second chance at life. Library patrons, who fund their local library’s purchases with their tax dollars, also benefit from the ability to freely access the books. Publishers are, unfortunately, not a fan of this model, and in 2020 four of them sued the Internet Archive over its CDL program. The suit ultimately focused on the Internet Archive’s lending of 127 books that were already commercially available through licensed aggregators. The publisher plaintiffs accused the Internet Archive of mass copyright infringement, while the Internet Archive argued that its digitization and lending program was a fair use. The trial court sided with the publishers, and on September 4, the Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit reaffirmed that decision with some alterations to the underlying reasoning.  This decision harms libraries. It locks them into an e-book ecosystem designed to extract as much money as possible while harvesting (and reselling) reader data en masse. It leaves local communities’ reading habits at the mercy of curatorial decisions made by four dominant publishing companies thousands of miles away. It steers Americans away from one of the few remaining bastions of privacy protection and funnels them into a surveillance ecosystem that, like Big Tech, becomes more dangerous with each passing data breach. And by increasing the price for access to knowledge, it puts up even more barriers between underserved communities and the American dream.

11 September 2024

[shytastemakerthing]

Hello!!

I would like to request another Albino!reader but with Savanaclaw and/or Scarabia.

I think it'd be really interesting to have the boys see Albino!reader struggling in the hot weather of their dorm.

A/N: The albino!reader saga continues!! I am beginning to love this little series and I am glad that you are enjoying it as well! We can only begin to imagine what these dorms would be like for them! As someone who limits time in the sun and hotter weather (genetics makes me burn in 5 minutes despite all the sunscreen), some of that experience will be seen here. Enjoy!

Tw: None

Request: Albino!reader with Savanaclaw and Scarabia

Dividers are made by @blueberry-pride and @cafekitsune

This would take place shortly after the whole deal with Octavinelle and Azul's OB. Maybe a month

Leona didn't really notice at first, as you preferred to keep as much of your skin hidden and eyes covered

He will admit, he was a little curious, but never really bothered to ask you about it

Until he heard about the scuffle that was happening in the lounge of the dorm

Turns out he wasn't the only one curious, but he was the one that was smart enough to actually put hands on you

As several of his other dorm members did

All but paused the moment he saw you, and another beast-man who had your jacket basically torn in his hands and you desperately trying to cover, already feeling the heat against your skin, and seeing you grimace in pain

The story is, no one has seen him scowl so hard, Ruggie being the one to basically keep Leona from ripping into the beatman

After that, he actually picked you up, feeling the heat on your skin , and would take you back to his room where there would be more shade this time of day, already bringing out a few creams to help with the burns that were already forming

...... don't look at him like that

Listen, just tell him if you need anything to help with the heat and sun, especially if you start coming by his dorm more often, okay?

You were actually waiting for him at Savanaclaw to come back from spell drive practice

He had helped you out a few days ago in keeping you covered from the sun. It had been raining that day so you hadn't brought any coverings, but it decided to stop halfway through and the sun came out all bright. Ruggie had loaned you his jacket and you wanted to be able to repay him

And that led you to sit under one of the trees in the lounge by the water with a box of homemade donuts. After hearing of his love of said treat, what better way to repay him?

Being too wrapped up in waiting for him, rather excited, you had failed to notice that the sun had begun shifting, shoulders and back exposed to the sun

Oh, but Ruggie certainly noticed when he came into the dorm to see you there

Was torn between helping you and figuring out what you had in the box

Back in his room, he was eating one of said donuts while you sat on his bed as he applied a burn cream to your poor skin

Perhaps you can wait in his room next time?....... and he'll take more of those donuts as well

You had met Jack during one of his track meets. It was honestly kinda hard to miss you given your state of dress to shield yourself from the heat and sun

Certainly knew of albinism. He had actually seen a couple of people back home with the condition

So seeing you out here in all the heat, no doubt sweating under all of those layers, he had welcomed you back to the dorm to help cool

The sun was down but not to curfew time, so it was rather cool at the time and resting your feet in the water felt rather nice

Hence why you thought it was a good idea to visit him again a few days later

But now it was bright and sunny and hot

Trying to find him, you had actually gotten lost in the dorm, and once he heard, he was on his way rather quickly to find you

And when he did?

You were trying to fit under one of the smaller trees away from the sun and heat, but smiled when you saw him

He isn't one for the heat either, given it was certainly chillier and more snowy at his home in the Shaftlands

Straight up picked you up and carried you back as quickly as he could, trying to keep you hidden from the sun

Back to his room, he drew the blinds on his window and offered you some water

Maybe you can try coming to his home sometime? You wouldn't have to worry about the heat and sun as much

It was after the events of book 4 when he got to know you more

He had learned of your condition more when both of you were sent far out into the desert as before, you had always kept your skin and eyes hidden away, but you clearly struggled with the head

Being out in the desert, he figured out more about your albinism and how the sun and heat affect you

Now, Kalim can be rather smart when he needs to or wants to be and not always so naive (sunshine personality coping mechanism for childhood trauma between kidnappings and assassination attempts, I will die on that hill), granted he can still be very naive at times

Getting you back to the dorm was key priority, not just to stop Jamil, but to get you out of the desert before the sun rises

After all of that, you began to visit Scarabia more often

And he absolutely loved that

But he also saw how the heat affected you, as you chose to say nothing in hopes to spend more time with him

The next time he saw you, you were instantly whisked away to a new addition to the lounge he had made just for you

Shielded from the sun, just as lavish as the rest of the dorm, and nice air conditioning

From now on, want to meet him here? He will make sure you have everything to be nice and cozy when you come over!

It was after his own OB when he fully learned of your albinism

It was something that you never drew attention too

If he was being honest, he thought you were just extra protective of your skin from the sun like Vil was, not wanting any burns or blemishes to form

It was only afterwards that he found out it was because you were born with one of the more extreme cases of albinism, the sun and heat very easily able to damage your skin and eyes, quite literally capable of blinding you and causing irreversible damage to your skin

......and he had banished you to the ends of the desert within the dorm

Had you not made it back when you did with the help of Kalim's UM and the Octotrio.....

No, he wasn't going to think about that right now

After the events of his OB, you had been recovering in the medical room on and off for about a week and thankfully, no permanent damage was done

After you were cleared, the first thing you did was visit him and it became a more common thing for the both of you

He had been at club practice when you came by the dorm, opting to wait in the lounge, using a sweat towel to help keep cool

And he wasn't the most pleased seeing you sweating, even in the shade, it can still be dangerous

Straight up grabs you and takes you to the kitchen. It's cool in there, he can get you some water and a cold press for your warm skin, and make a snack for the both of you

Can you keep visiting him? Please? He's never had care like yours before and he doesn't want too lose it any time soon

Thank you for this request! I really enjoyed it!

[goosita]

no no billy taking you out on his horse and showing you the reigns but it’s a bit hard to concentrate with him and his wandering hands pushed up behind you

oh my god you don't understand this is peak romantic fantasy for me on GOD

riding around out in the fields with billy because he has a day to himself, and he wants to spend it with you.

and we all know billy loves his horse, and he's so good at riding the animal and taming it. he asks if you wanna go out with him for a ride and you're reluctant at first. of course, this is the wild west. lots of people know how to ride horses, it's a huge mode of transportation. but...you had never spent that much time around them. you lived in town and didn't tend to stray from there, and your interactions with the animals were mostly limited to carriage rides where someone else was in control.

"c'mon angel, it'll be fun. promise," he says, giving you those imploring blue eyes all round and wide. you agreed, knowing that billy would never let anything happen to you. not that you were scared. just a little uneasy, is all.

but then the afternoon comes and he's got you sat comfortably right in front of him in the saddle. his chest is warm and solid against your back, your bum is settled nicely in the cradle of his hips and his thighs, keeping you right there against him. your hands rest on the saddle horn while his arms are resting around your waist, holding the reins.

lady, his horse, wanders around where he guides her. she's a pretty horse, white with speckles and she's very calm. you can tell that her and billy have a quiet kind of trust between them.

"see?" he grins, leaning his head down to peck your cheek. "not so bad, is it?"

and it's not. it's not bad at all, really. you can tell your thighs might be a little sore later from the unconscious way you're clenching them to feel balanced, but this is actually kinda nice. the sun is perched in the middle of the sky, warming the fields and your skin. bugs and wildlife are buzzing around you as you ride, and billy seems so relaxed and content behind you.

"you wanna take the reins for a bit?" he asks, patting your thigh and giving it an affectionate squeeze. he likes to do that, give you these little pets and caresses sometimes. just because he can.

"oh...um....i don't really know-"

"nonsense, it's easy. here." he cuts you off gently, placing the leather reins in your hands. he explains to you what actions the horse will take as cues, and you don't dare do anything but encourage the animal to keep on moseying forward like she had been. billy chuckles softly at your hesitance, but he doesn't make fun. he lets you do what you're comfortable with.

you try to focus on directing lady where you want her to go, but it starts to get harder when billy's hands slide up and down your outer thighs slowly. you know he's probably not trying to distract you or rile you up, but you can't help the way your body and mind react to his touch.

billy rests his chin on your shoulder and hums, some silly little folk tune he must have stuck in his head. you can feel the vibrations of his voice against your back and it makes your tummy flutter with butterflies. no matter how long you and billy have been together, even little things like this make your heart stutter like a lovesick teen with a crush.

"you're doin' great, honey," he murmurs, and you can feel his smile against your cheek where he still rests over your shoulder. it makes you feel better, the praise. you like it when he praises you, even for little things like this.

his hands begin to wander, though, and you're not sure you can stay focused on controlling lady. billy brings his hands up to your hips, his fingers dipping into the waistband of the pants he'd loaned you to ride in. it's not inherently sexual, the way he's touching you. a little intimate to be touched out in the open like this, a little against decorum, but you're alone out here anyway. he strokes your skin softly, adoringly, like he just wants to feel you under his fingertips. as much as you like it, it's too distracting.

"here," you blurt, handing him the reins back. "can't think straight with you around." it comes out more playful than scolding, though, and billy chuckles.

"alright. whatever you want, angel," he tells you, pressing another kiss to your cheek before taking over again.

let's talk about billy, baby!

[daydreams-after-dark]

Submission

You're billionaire Lee Minho's "plaything", but tonight the tables have turned and he let's you dom him.

Approx word count: 3.4k

WARNINGS: 18+ adult fanfic: NSFW // contains depictions of explicit sexual content // unsafe vagina sex // use of sex toys // light bandage // vaginal fingering // explicit language // nudity // light dom/sub // plaything kink // implied orgasm and ejaculation.

a/n: This story was originally posted on my main blog @moonlightndaydreams but I'm in the process of moving some of them over here that fit the 'after dark' vibe.

“Nu uh, Lee Minho. Don’t even think about fighting back. Tonight you are my plaything.” You pushed Minho to sit on the edge of the bed in the run down, seedy hotel room.

The man growled angrily. He hated being in this position. He was born a dom. He ALWAYS dommed. He gave the orders. He was in control.

“This is what you wanted, remember?” You spat into his ear and tugged at his sandy brown hair, pulling his head back hard to reveal his long, slender neck. Fuck, you loved seeing his neck exposed like that. The glow from the neon signs outside the window casting a glow against his skin that changed from blue to red to green.

You bit your lip and climbed onto his lap, and licked along the vein in his neck, tracing it up to his jaw, and then yanked his head back down so you could smash your mouth on his.

Minho met you with the same aggression and gripped your hips, digging his fingers in so hard you yelped.

“So you are going to be bad are you? Hmm?” you said, staring into his dark eyes.

You felt so alive and in control tonight. Normally you were the sub in this… arrangement? Yes, arrangement was the best way to describe this dynamic. You couldn’t call it a relationship because it was only about sex, and the rules were clear. You were billionaire Lee Minho’s “Plaything” for him to do as he pleased. It usually involved him taking care of you first, prepping you, getting you ready for what he had in store, then going absolutely feral on you. He had the perfect balance of tenderness and coldness and you were absolutely addicted.

You knew it was a dangerous game, for your heart, especially when you learned you were the only one. Minho was exclusive with you, and sometimes you wondered what that meant. There were nights you would lay awake and your mind would entertain the forbidden possibility of an actual relationship. You’d berated yourself for it, and reminded yourself of the reality of what this really was. Fucking. Secretly. You were his toy for him to fuck and use. And when he was ready, he was going to toss you aside like garbage.

But there was no way you could break this arrangement off. The sex was too exciting and too good. Minho knew what your body craved, what it could take, and he played with the edges of your limits. It was erotic, delicious, raw and sensual all at once.

But tonight Minho was your “plaything”. Your fuck toy to tease. Taunt. Use.

You were so excited when Minho texted you to meet at the hotel room tonight. You were especially excited when he said he wanted you in your leather corset and stockings “No panties” he’d instructed. This was the outfit he’d bought you so that you could dom him. You had waited weeks for him to finally give you permission to wear it, and you were going to make the most of it. You weren’t sure when you’d get the chance again.

You and Minho used this room every week. In fact, Minho purchased the room, like one would purchase and apartment.

“Do you like it?” he’d asked you when he showed you the first time in the middle of the day, a big grin on his face.

You had run your eyes over the peeling paint, the dirty carpet and flimsy windows. It was the most fucking seedy, nasty place you had ever been in. The view out the window was of equally rundown buildings, a nightclub, and most likely the offices of loan sharks.

It was foul. But it was perfect for what Minho had planned for you both. Even tonight, the ingrained pungent smell of cigarettes still permeated your nostrils, but you didn’t mind. You loved being in this room. Loved feeling dirty.

Minho never attempted to repaint, or make the place comfortable, except for the expensive bed in the middle of the room. The headboard he chose was made for being restrained with vertical wrought iron bars lined up between the end posts.

You planned to tie Minho to it tonight.

“If you’re going to bad, I’ll just stop.” You said bluntly. Minho whined. He never whined. It was usually you.

You slid off of his lap and retreated to the scruffy armchair in the corner of the room. He’d picked that up off the side of the road. Said it would add to the nastiness of the room. It was shit, and torn and smelt like god knows what.

“Strip.” You commanded.

You could see Minho was fighting an internal battle. His face contorted, his mouth pressed in a firm line. He wanted to argue, deny, fight back against you. But he also knew that he wouldn’t get to feel your mouth or pussy around his cock if he misbehaved.

You wondered if he was regretting agreeing to this.

But you were sure he’d be reminding himself of the bigger picture. He just needed to get through this first part. Humour you. Then he’d be able to get his chance to turn the tables and fucking tear up your pussy. You knew this too. It was a game, and in the end Minho will win.

You crossed your legs. You were wet, your bare pussy pressed against the worn out fabric, and you knew that you would be adding to the unidentifiable stains on the chair cushion.

“I said strip, Minho.” You repeated sternly.

The corner of his mouth curled up in a smirk before standing up at the foot of the bed.

He glared at you, staring you down thinking it would intimidate you. Sometimes Minho would forget that you had the capability to play games with him.

Slowly his hands reached for the buttons of his shirt, and you licked your lips with anticipation as he discarded the expensive designer garment on the filthy carpet.

You inched your legs apart when his hand went to his belt. Your eyes didn’t leave his as he removed his trousers and boxers. Your mouth hung open in awe as you drank in the sight of a fully naked Lee Minho. A sigh escaped you and you swallowed hard.

He was perfect. Never in your entire life had you seen a man so effortlessly attractive. So perfectly proportioned. So fucking toned. So fucking strong.

You decided you were going to make him wait, torment him somewhat before you allowed him access to your body. You knew that’s what he wanted most in this moment. To devour you.

You threw a leg over each chair arm, exposing yourself to the man you wanted to torture. Minho raised an eyebrow as if to say “you bitch, you’re gonna pay for this”, while he watched your hand slide down between your legs to find your dripping centre and slipping two fingers easily inside yourself.

You moaned, closing your eyes. You knew this would make Minho angry. It turned you on. Your eyes slowly opened and you saw Minho standing there pathetically with his hand around his cock.

“Hands off, Minho.” You removed your glistening fingers and stood up “you know you’re not allowed to touch yourself.” You walked towards him stopping just centimetres in front of him. He could grab you and throw you on the bed if he really wanted to. “Does Minho need to be taught a lesson?” You say shoving your wet fingers into his mouth. “Hands off your dick, put them behind your back.” 

Minho groaned but did as you said. His eyes closed as he licked every last drop from your digits. He was so fucking sexy. You almost wanted him to take control and punish you right then.

“On the bed.” You whispered coldly.

Minho gave you one last long stare, his eyes darkening, a hint of a smirk appearing as he proceeded to look you up and down. He didn’t know you saw a glimmer of excitement in his expression. It made your stomach tighten in the way it did when you thought about Minho as more than a fuck buddy.

Wordlessly, Minho climbed up the bed, laying his head on the pillow. He waited and watched you as you picked up a large briefcase and climbed up to sit beside his legs. You noticed his fat, hard dick was leaking as it rested against his lower abdominals. So tasty, you thought. You pulled out the set of velvet ties that would normally be restraining you and proceeded to straddle Minho. He automatically began to jut his hips up desperately trying to make contact with your pussy, and his hands groped for your tits.

“MINHO!” you growled. “Fucking stop moving, or I’ll leave you here and go find someone else to fuck.”

Minho whined “I just need to feel you, kitten.” He whimpered painfully.

“You’ll feel me when I say you can. If I say you can.” Reminding him who was in control.

Minho grunted, but his protests died down quickly.

“Arms above your head, plaything.” You said, peeling his grip from you and securing it to the bed-frame. “Other hand.” Minho complied and you suddenly found yourself in a position you had never been in before. Minho helpless and bound to the bed.

He started to growl like a caged wild animal when you lifted off him and retreated to sit on the bed between his calves. He yanked at the restraints making the bed shake. His back arched up off the mattress. Sweat began to drip down his brow onto the side of his face, the neon glow hitting the droplets in the most divine way. “Fucking hell, come back.” He demanded. “Just fuck me already.”

Ignoring his protests you reached into the briefcase again. This time to choose your toy. There were two dildos to choose from. The first was obscenely massive. When Minho presented it to you for the first time, you thought he had lost his mind. It was literally twice as thick as Minho himself, and he was extremely well endowed. Your eyes had bulged wide, and it made Minho laugh. “You can take it. I know you can. I promise it’ll feel good”, he’d promised. He seemed to have a kink for seeing how wide he could stretch you. He’d often use it on you, mouth hung open as your pussy slowly stretched around it, taking it in, filling you up. Then after he was done he’d proceed to fuck you with his cock. Minho didn’t seem to feel inadequate or in the slightest bit fazed that he wasn’t able to stretch you as much as that dildo. “Can a dildo slap against the back of your legs when it thrusts into you? Can it pin you to the mattress, or the wall? Can it caress your tits, or ravish your mouth in kisses? Is it human? Does it care? Does it think you’re precious?” So no, he didn’t have any insecurities about that fat, obnoxious dildo.

Tonight you chose the second option. Slimline. Cheap. Barely any vibration power. Yes, if you came on this dildo it was bound to offend the man writhing on the bed.

You wrapped your fingers around the smaller toy and hooked a leg over each of Minho’s shins so that you were once again spread wide open, giving Minho full view of your pussy. The billionaire glared at you with dark eyes. 

You were so wet you didn’t require any extra lubrication, the dildo sliding into your vagina easily. You gasped airily as you began to fuck yourselves with the inanimate object. In front of Minho. Helpless, pathetic Minho. Well, he wasn’t completely helpless. If he wanted to he could use his strong legs to hurtle you on top of him. He was definitely holding back and letting you think you were in control.

You spread your legs a little wider, angling the dildo so that it would massage your g-spot. You moaned low and deep and your hips began to roll forward against it. You were feeling overheated in the leather corset and the perspiration made your skin glisten. You knew you looked sexy. You closed your eyes for a few moments relishing the feeling of bringing yourself pleasure whilst the man who is normally so in control can do nothing but watch.

“Fuck, gorgeous. Look at you.” He jeered. Your eyes flung open to meet Minho’s condescending eyes. “Your so fucking needy that even a flimsy little dildo is making you go dumb. Pathetic.”

You smirked at his attempt at belittling you. “Minho, darling,” you panted. Fuck your were close. “Don’t you think it’s you who looks pathetic?… That I don’t even need your cock to come?” You upped the pace as your desire built and the tension in your pelvis grew stronger.

“How does it make you feel Lee Minho… knowing that this shitty little dildo can take me over the edge?” You ran your gaze over him. His cock was desperately engorged and still leaking pre-cum on his stomach. His muscles tense and the veins in his forearms and neck strained.

“It’s driving me fucking crazy… You know it is” He hissed through clenched teeth. He looked at you with pure need. His eyes begging. His breathing laboured. A pained desperation on his face. This was the face that always made you come undone. It was the face that told you as much as he was a dom, or how much he loved playing games, he actually needed you.

You let out a pornographic moan as you took yourself to the stars, throwing your head back. The bulge of your breasts heaving as you floated back down to earth panting.

“Fuck… you don’t need me do you? All you need is your pretty fingers or some cheap ass toy, and your satisfied.” It wasn’t condescending or malicious. It was more like he was in awe. 

You withdrew the toy from yourself and crawled your way up to Minho, straddling him once again, hovering above him so that he still couldn’t feel you against him.

“Lick.” You whispered offering the dildo to his lips. He obliged, immediately opening his mouth and allowing you to force it deep into his throat. He gagged and his eyes began to water as you roughly fucked his mouth. 

“Come on baby, you should be able to take this… it’s not that big…” 

Minho growled and lifted his head to take more of the toy into his mouth, sucking and licking ferociously. 

“Good boy. You look like such a fucking slut for cock like this you know.” You praised removing the dildo. “So clean” you approved and tossed the toy to the side.

You leaned down to kiss him softly. Minho hummed as you deepened the kiss, and you finally slowly lowered yourself down onto his hips to grind against the length of his cock.

You slipped your tongue inside his mouth, tasting your own juices. You could feel his hips rolling rhythmically against you as your tongues gently caressed each other. You could feel your heart melting, a warmth spreading through your body. Why the fuck did this keep happening? Why did your heart have to get involved.

You pulled away from the kiss and searched Minho’s face, hoping his mean, cold, dark expression would snap you out of it. But that wasn’t the look he gave you. Instead he had soft, hooded eyes, a pink flush to his cheeks and and a look of fucking admiration on his face. His mouth even hung open like an idiot.

You leaned in to kiss him once more, then reached up to untie one of his hands.

That was a mistake.

In less than a second Minho had flipped you on your back, one hand still tied to the bed, his free hand pushing your leg up to your chest allowing him to ram his cock into you aggressively.

“You don’t know what you’ve done to me, teasing me like that.” He growled, slamming himself into you hard. “Neglecting my cock like that.” He withdrew almost the whole way out and hammered into you once more, causing you to cry out.

“Taking care of yourself and not me.” He grunted.

Minho gripped the wrought iron bar with his restrained hand, using it as leverage to thrust into you ferociously, each thrust seemingly harder and rougher than the last. You welcomed it though. This was how Minho liked to fuck. You knew that when he got a chance tonight he’d take it. You just didn’t know which of the chances would take. It felt thrilling having him own you like this. It was as if he had no self control and that he’d go mad if he didn’t get his release. He fucked you hard for at least ten minutes. You didn’t know how he hadn’t come yet. Maybe he was too focused on evening the score or teaching you a lesson.

He slammed in deep hitting your cervix, then paused so he could kiss you sloppily, giving you a moment to catch your breath. He reached up and untied his still restrained hand and brought it down to push the hair off your forehead. He swallowed hard as he gazed at you.

“Minho…” you whimpered.

“What is it little plaything?” he said softly. You didn’t know what you wanted to say. You just felt overwhelmed by the sudden surge of emotion that was coming over you.

“Wrap your arms around me.” He said “Hold me close.”

You felt confused by his request, but you found yourself with your arms wrapped around his neck as he laid flush on top of you. You could feel his entire torso against yours and the sudden increase in intimacy made you melt. You felt like hot liquid underneath him. Lee Minho could really do anything he wanted with you right now.

And it seemed he wanted to go slow, rolling his hips painfully slowly while his hands caressed your ass, the side of your body, even sliding up to cup your jaw while he made love to you with his tongue.

“Can we take this off?” he swallowed gesturing towards your corset. You nodded in response and Minho made quick work of removing it, still inside you, leaving you now only in your stay up stockings.

“Look at me, gorgeous.” He panted. You opened your eyes and watched the man above you as he continued to take you tenderly. “Is this okay?” he asked between long languid thrusts.

“It… it’s… so good.” You whispered. And it really was.

“Good. Because tonight proved to me just how much I fucking need you.” His eyes looked like they were tearing up. Surely not. It had to be from the strain of holding back his ejaculation, right?

“You saw me…. I can’t function without you. I fucking need you… I think about you the minute I wake up. ” He closed his eyes and a tear escaped, running down his face. He leaned back in to kiss you, perhaps to hide the fact he was getting emotional, and you tenderly kissed him back with as much care and love you could. You wanted him to feel safe enough to show you this vulnerable side of him.

You wrapped your legs around him, pulling him in as close as possible, drawing a husky moan from the man making love to you. He nuzzled his face into your neck, sucking you skin delicately, marking you with damp tears. His body shivered like he had a fever.

“Oh, Minho.” You cried again. The sensations were overwhelming and confusing to you. But you didn’t want this to end. Your sweaty bodies slid together in the most beautiful way. His cock fucked you so carefully and deliciously, and his kisses were full of emotion. It was like he was trying to confess everything he felt for you in the way his lips connected to yours and the way he moved his body inside of you.

In that moment, nothing else existed. The pungent smell of the room, the neon lights, the sirens wailing by, all fell away as you both fell apart together.

~ Minho ~

He was not supposed to care. He was definitely not supposed to fall in love with you, and he was absolutely not meant to show his feelings in front of you.

But he fucking couldn’t help it could he?

“Lee Minho. You fucking idiot.” He scolded himself. “Why the fuck did you cry in front of her?” He ran his hand through his hair.

“Why did you tell you can’t function without her? That you think about her the moment you wake up?”

You were meant to be his “Plaything”. Merely the person with who he could explore his sexual desires with. He knew you’d be up for it. And you were. You even liked playing games with him.

Minho was the dom and you the sub. But that night in his seedy one bedroom apartment reserved only for sex with you, the night he let you be dom him and he broke down and cried, he let slip his feelings.

@channieandhisgoonsquad @itshannjisung @noellllslut @kangnina @weareapackofstrays

[threepandas]

Bad End: Restructuring

The blast doors on my office were stronger then the ones on most bunkers. They matched the one's on the company dorms AND my personal rooms. Thing is? They weren't designed to hold out forever. In fact, I was pretty sure they were a pretty bit of security theater, just to let us fleshys feel safe.

We weren't.

Not a single moment of a single day.

The pay was unmatched. But then again, it'd HAVE to be, with the mortality rate. The morbidity rate on top, too. You didn't take a job like this unless you were crazy. Or, you know, desperate. College loans, man. They get you over a barrel and don't let up. But a few years of this? I'd be clear an free~

Few MORE years? I'd ever have a tasty little nest egg to fall back on, in case of emergencies. I just... you know, had to play it smart. Be really, REALLY careful.

No slacking off. No getting comfortable. Vigilance and best manners. Then we all get to go home alive. Because what's out there? In the Labs? Those guys can pop diamonds like we crush packing peanuts. Highest grade, fancy ass, metal bars of specialty blend metals? Tied up in pretty little bows.

They may LOOK like some sort of waifish boy band... but God, they are NOT. They are really, REALLY not. And their "personality" matrix program thingies? Apparently still a work in progress. A LONG work in progress.

People have fucking DIED.

But does management care? Of course not. Pay out some life insurance. "It was an accident on the job". And "of COURSE steps will be taken to insure to never happens again". Ha! My ass, it is. And my ass, they are. They aren't doing SHIT. Nor are they GOING too. They're in too deep with this project, whatever it is. And us?

Well WE'RE expendable.

Just the cost of doing business.

I watch bleeding edge technology move like dancers, room to room. The wall of screen lighting up my cramped little office. The mini-fridge hums and the fan whirrs, filling the silence. I try to spot FM-036 on one of the screens. I can't find him and it makes me nervous.

He might be hiding. Trying to be polite, in his own way. Since there was an incident.

I FUCKING TOLD Ric not to call them "it"! I TOLD him! It aggravates them. Provokes. You don't DO that with something... some ONE, with that much physical power. 36 put their fist through his SHOULDER. And the God damned wall! He might LOSE his arm, which? Given their ability to calculate better then most supercomputers?

Was probably the point.

I notice one of the androids messing with a computer in a lab. Fuck. I lean forward, hating drawing their attention but knowing I have to do my damn job. I press on the speaker system for that room after a quick glance at the ID on their jumpsuit.

"FM-047, could you please not touch that? I know you are aware that you are not supposed to tamper, meddle, or otherwise engage with the researchers notes or electronics."

The android stop typing. Their head rolling up and to the side to look directly at the camera, their body perfectly still. The angle borders on impossible. Almost owlish, nearly snake like. All perfectly smooth movements effortlessly controlled. Joint not limited by human designs. His face is bemused. Pleasant.

"Of course, night gaurd. My mistake. Thank you for correcting me." He replies, something almost like laughter, nearly like mocking, but not quite, in his smooth voice. They always sound like they are... HUMORING us. Working around us.

It sends a jolt of cold fear though my veins.

I... I REALLY hate talking to the androids.

Pity, they seem to like talking to ME.

"I was unaware you were on shift tonight. I will update the others. It's good to hear your voice again, you seemed nervous, last time we spoke."

Yeah. Because you were asking PERSONAL QUESTIONS. Oh, sure, they had dressed them up as "We're so CURIOUS about Humans~☆" but I wasn't an IDIOT. You Did NOT, under ANY circumstances, try to bond with the machines. NO chatting. That was lesson number one from my trainer.

And Frank? Frank had seen too many "but THIS time it's DIFFERENT! We're FWIENDS~!" Incidents end in unspeakable carnage. Lost too many noobies. We DO NOT chat! With the machines!!! DO. NOT.

"Ah~, you made her nervous again, FM-047" came from a different screen. I flinched. Jerked back so I could see it. Oh god. "Besides, I told you. The calculations showed she wasnt going anywhere. The 'money' is too good."

The androids had stopped. Turned, in some cases unnaturally, to stare up at the cameras. At me. It was a blatant show of how interconnected they were. How distance meant nothing to them. How... how enmeshed they were, in the Lab's systems.

COULD they see me?

I didn't want to know. I NEEDED not to know. If only so I could continue to sleep at night.

They smiled, clearly hoping I'd engage. I wanted to. God did I want too. Wanted to demand "what calculations" and for them to STOP looking at me like that. But I didn't. With tense muscles I careful lifted my finger from the speaker system's button and leaned back. Crossed my arms like I was hugging myself.

Do. Not. Engage.

Remember what Frank taught you.

My... my office felt so claustrophobic. Painfully small. Across the screens before me, matching faces huffed laughs of condescending amusement. Some out right DID laugh. Bright and mean noises that echoed in silence of the night.

Humans? Frank had observed (and I kinda had to agree) were beneath them, in their minds. Flawed little flesh creatures. Annoying. It was something the scientists were trying to correct. Pretty sure they fucked up. Badly. And long, long ago.

Watching over these guys? Felt like watching over a sea of identical demons. Pretty, cruel, and incapable of human understanding. Fond of tormenting the nearest human for sport.

"Tell us, night gaurd, are you afraid?"

Oh that's just PETTY. Fucking cliché as shit, too. I mean, YES, obviously. But STILL. And... and you know what? Fuck it! Frank, gave me his number for a reason! I scramble for my belt. The communicator there. It barely rings.

"Mph, m'awake! Wus happin' kid? Come on, talk to me."

I ramble. Knees dragged up on my chair, curled in a ball. Frank's low, old man, rumble a soothing focal point. These guys are so creepy. I HATE that they KNOW that. Gleefully will TRY to be, sometimes. Can BACK IT UP.

"Hey, hey. I'll stay on the line, okay? You just need to make it to morning shift. They're are creepy lil shits, but they can't get past the doors. I'll come get you myself, okay? Walk you right back to the dorms. You're going to be okay, sweetheart."

I nod, even though I know the old man can't see me. Manage to crackle out a "Mmmhmm". The androids haven't stopped staring. The worst part? Is they realistically DONT HAVE TOO. Can stay, perfectly still, like statues... forever, if they wish.

Watching.

With those "I'm laughing at you" grins. That "aaaw, how PATHETIC" expression. As though I were a wretched little animal to be observed. I ask Frank to tell me about his new show. It's... it's something about socialites, right? Historical? He's glad too. Filling my office with the sound of his voice. It's gonna be a long shift.

I don't notice, high up on the wall, near the back of my office?

A security camera that I do not control. It's red light on.

The company has to be sure it's employees aren't slacking, after all! Aren't up to no good! But don't worry, THAT camera is connect to a database the androids shouldn't be able to access! Because we told them not too.

And THAT'S IT.

No one will learn of the security breach until its far, far too late.

Now? They watch as I watch them.

And it's just the beginning.

[lazyyogi]

Spring Renewal: Healing from Time

Feeling lethargic, unfocused, or apathetic despite the onset of Spring? You may benefit from the practice of Renewal.

In this post:

What is the purpose of renewal and why do we need it? -> How burdens accumulate through the passage of time -> Timeless = freshness

Technical elements of renewal practices: -> Recapitulation -> Defragmentation -> Trauma shard release -> Reclamation of loaned energies

When we rinse away the dust of wear & tear and shed the accumulated burdens of time, we experience renewal. We regain a feeling of the timeless brightness that was once so natural to us.

Time exists for us as memory of past and imagination of the future, but also in the way we interpret the present according to those memories and imaginations. 

Time exists in this moment as the imprints we have absorbed in the form of judgments and beliefs as well as the ways in which our repeated experiences have dulled our senses.

Think of an older adult. How they are as living beings is mainly shaped by the ways in which they have accumulated time: the weight of lifestyle choices on the physical body, the definitions and perceptions fixed into the mind, and the various forms of conditioning programmed by life experiences.

A common reason for low levels of energy and enthusiasm in adults is due to the accumulation of time, which leads to a state of staleness.

Now think of an infant, a creature who embodies the very essence of newness: unburdened by imprints or conditioning, undistracted by thoughts of past or future, undefended in their naked experience of consciousness in the moment.

An infant radiates freshness.

Habituation and conditioning are the marks left in the subtle (energy) body by the passage of time. Some of that is useful and part of what makes us more functional than an infant. But much if not most of this is accumulated garbage.

Just as a diamond coated in dust still possesses its inherent luster and clarity, so too do we still possess that freshness of infancy. Such is the esoteric meaning of "innocence." It can be obscured but it can never be lost.

When we engage in renewing practices, we first recognize and then rejoice in our fundamental essence. It has not gone anywhere, nor will it ever. It is us. Only, it can be forgotten and therefore go unknown and unseen. So, we dust off the diamond.

There are many ways to discuss the elements of self-renewal. In this post, I will address four of them.

The first is recapitulation.

"You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them." ~ Maya Angelou

"They believed that by means of the recapitulation, however, they could acquire a degree of control that could permit them to separate their life experiences from their life force." ~ Carlos Castaneda

The events of our lives, and the way we experience them, invariably impact us deeply. Sometimes it's a good thing, leading to self-discovery and inspiration. Yet at times it can be traumatic, confusing, and weakening. Especially when we unquestionably believe that we are those experiences.

When this happens, our enthusiasm and brightness (in other words our energy) becomes drained and muted. Through recapitulation, there is a therapeutic and cathartic disentanglement of our living reality from our past history. We can still reference our memory of the past for practical purposes but we are no longer reduced or limited by our past experiences.

The next two elements are defragmentation and trauma shard release.

Like a computer, we don't always develop in an orderly and optimized fashion. It's not surprising when you consider the disjointed and fast paced unfolding of experiences from the moment we wake up to when we go to sleep. Unfinished thoughts, half-baked daydreams, subconscious micro-emotions, and more all swirling just out of sight of our conscious attention. In a sense, we play host to fragments in many forms within us.

Related to this is the piercing placement of traumatic shards within our minds and bodies. A trauma is an experience that overwhelms and bypasses our capacity for healthy processing. In an acute form, when its fresh, it can cause us persistent distress in several ways and we will consciously suffer. In a chronic form, it can be more subtle in the form of triggers, crippling fears, avoidance and dependance behaviors, and more. These tend to be semi-conscious due to the way the trauma has integrated into your sense of self or identity. Any suggestion of being free from that trauma can feel like an affront on your identity, your self.

Instead of dealing with the discomfort of the healing process, many will instead resign themselves to coping mechanisms designed to prevent the re-activation of their traumatic wounds.

The burden of fragments and traumatic shards are just a few examples of how we carry time inside of us.

Lastly is the reclamation of loaned energies.

Through our prayers, intentions, and karmas, we have become involved with the paths and energies of other beings--be they people, animals, or other forms of sentience. This may be positive or negative, such as beings you have supported emotionally or beings with whom you have engaged previously in repeated conflicts. Those connections can persist on subconscious levels, influencing and siphoning our energies.

Through the practice of self-renewal, we can call all of those energies back to us and sever the obsolete connections that remain. This leaves us fresh and capable of forming new connections while moving forward from a place more whole and wise.

For a practice to reach down deep enough to be more than just a momentary relaxation or distraction, it must touch our fundamental nature: primordial awareness. This is the stainless diamond beneath the dust of time.

It is from that stainless place of beingness within us all that we can find both the perspective and the power necessary to free ourselves from the accumulated burdens of time.

Next up will be a sequel post about combining these elements to find a renewal practice that works for you.

LY

[lordelmelloi2]

we need help again...

I hate hate hate hate to make this post but we could really use some help. Mostly because I am uninsured until my job opens enrollment for its health insurance in June and on the eve of us signing the apartment lease tomorrow, I have contracted strep throat from my coworkers. Hooray!

I'm gonna try and get an appointment at the community health center doctor's tomorrow because I straight up don't have the money or time to go to the CVS minuteclinic across the street. They said it was $139 for a strep appointment without insurance, I said hell no... If I wait another day I can try and get a sliding scale $40 appt at the doctors. Right now is just stressful because we need money and because they didn't give us our security deposit back I'm not going to have enough money for my bills the beginning of the month. Plus there are literally THREE prescriptions I have asides from however much a Z pack will likely cost and one of them is an ointment from a compound pharmacy that I don't have money to pay for~!!!! 😭😭😭

Asides from that I am afraid that we miscalculated how much we have for rent for May so I'm trying to see about covering those costs so we aren't paying 3 days late into the month of May for our May rent first month. I really don't want to have a bad first impression with these people. They've been very kind to us so far with renting this new place but I don't want to push the limits.

I've already asked my dad for help but he wasn't able to spare enough for us to be totally covered + he needs me to pay him back by August. During the month of April I also applied to multiple credit unions for personal loans and got rejected...

So my total expenses are:

- Medication/Doctor's visit (including pre-existing prescriptions that I haven't had the money to pick up) ($160)

- Phone bill ($75 for this first month, should be going down next month as verizon charges my account with different coding)

- costs for rent/move (like hopefully $200 idk. I think we can swing the last hundred)

In addition: Because of my history of struggling with commissions due to my psychiatric disability, I don't really want to do this but if you donate a sum above $100 you can ask me to digitally paint something for you. Please no complicated requests or anything since I've been struggling with art for years now from depression/anxiety etc. but I would feel indebted to you if I didn't do anything. If this is something you'd like please DM me/send me an ask off anon.

* As for why we have been so financially fucked this month. Our current apartment complex (yes the one with the leaks, roaches, harmful construction noises etc.) has kept our security deposit which has us out $300 that we could've used towards the new place. They have fucked us over one last time.

My paypal as always is at: paypal.me/roseod

And please share if you can. Every reblog/donation of even a small amount is appreciated. Thank you all so much for supporting me.

[angellesword]

BAGGAGE l JJK (02)

Summary: Drowning in debt and blood, Jeon Jungkook knows he's better off alone, lest he brings people down with him.

But one drunken night changes everything.

In a blink of an eye, Jungkook found himself drowning not only in debt and blood, but also in dirty diapers and judgmental stares from you, a.k.a his long-lost love and the guardian of the son he didn't even know existed.

Genre and warnings: best friends to lovers, co-parenting, idiots in love, slow burn—really slow burn, mutual pining, angst, fluff, implied smut, kissing, minor character death, slight getting back together, cursing, blood, stabbing, loan sharks, OC cusses excessively so watch out

Pairing: dad! Jungkook x adoptive mom!Reader

Word Count: 2.6k

←Previous Chapter (01) | Next Chapter (03) →

******

Eight Years Ago; 2015

Jungkook couldn’t lie. Life at Port Mafia was exhausting him down to the bones, but he felt an onslaught of energy rush through him when he saw you leaning on your car while waiting for him.

“Oho~ Perfect timing. My best friend is here to pick me up~.” Jungkook said in a sing-song voice as he happily skipped down your car. Unfortunately, you didn’t mirror Jungkook’s glowing mood.

“Yeah, I’m here to save your shitty ass from perishing. Here—” You pushed a paper bag into Jungkook’s chest before opening the passenger’s door and shoving him inside.

Normally, Jungkook whined about how roughly you treated him, but he couldn’t ignore the savory aroma wafting from the paper bag anymore. Jungkook had no time for drama when his stomach was growling this loud.

“Crazy bastard. When was the last time you ate!?” You scowled as soon as he entered the car.

Jungkook ignored your question. His eyes glistened with crystals when he saw a container full of crab spring rolls. His favorite! He happily uttered your name and asked, “Are these for me? Can I eat them all?”

A scoff escaped your lips when Jungkook stuffed five spring rolls in his mouth in one go. His question did not need a response, but you answered anyway: “You’re the only one I know who eats spring rolls like there’s no tomorrow. Of course, you can eat them all. I made them for you.”

“Aw, aren’t you a sweetheart~?” Jungkook licked his fingers before extending his arm to demand, “Now give me a drink.”

Room-temperature bottled water touched Jungkook’s hand.

“Huh?” Jungkook didn’t accept the water and looked at you with confusion. “Why are you giving me this bland drink? I want banana milk!”

“Shut your trap!” You unscrewed the bottle cap and forced Jungkook to drink it. “You don’t eat in time and even refuse to drink water. You really wanna die, huh?”

Jungkook’s lips puckered. He breathed, “I agree on the last part, but you got something wrong. I do drink water! I just prefer it with flavor. Jimin-hyung and I had coffee earlier. Although, it’s too bitter for my liking..”

A pause.

Jungkook shut his mouth when he noticed your frown deepen. There was a limit to his jokes, and Jungkook knew this. You and Jungkook had been friends since you were five. You might curse and beat him, but you cared for Jungkook. You really lived up to being his best friend.

“You haven’t eaten all day, and your precious hyung made you drink coffee? Very good,” you said sarcastically.

Jungkook let out a breath, “Hey, it’s not like that, okay? We were busy at the office all day. You know we’re a start-up business.”

Start-up, my ass. The words died down in your throat. Some things didn’t need to be voiced out for them to be valid. One look at Jungkook, and your chest tightened. The bags under Jungkook’s eyes were deep and black. If you argued now, Jungkook would be more exhausted. You didn’t have the heart to watch your best friend suffer. You just wanted to bring him home.

“Right.” You gulped and leaned closer to Jungkook to help him buckle his seatbelt. The move invaded Jungkook’s personal space. He could feel your hot breath on his neck.

You owned a secondhand car that Jungkook helped you pick. The previous owner said it was fully depreciated, but you thought it worked perfectly fine—except maybe the seatbelt. Jungkook always lost his temper every time he fastened this ridiculous thing.

You had to do it for him.

Normally, it took two seconds or less to fasten one’s seatbelt, but for some reason, you took a long time helping Jungkook buckle up, almost as if you wanted to stay in this position for the rest of your life.

“Take care of yourself, alright?” Click. The seatbelt was locked in place. You straightened your back and drove the car.

Present; 2023

Nostalgia hit Jungkook in the face like torrential rain.  As of the moment, you, although allowing Jungkook to sit in the passenger seat of your car, had no intention of getting close to him or whatever.

Jungkook heaved a deep sigh.

It was too cold inside your car. Everything had truly changed. Jungkook often complained about the broken air conditioning of your cheap vehicle back then. However, you were driving a top-of-the-line car now.

The atmosphere was awkward. If someone were to tell Jungkook that he’d one day sit inside your car in silence, he would surely call that person crazy.

There was never a dull moment when he was with you. Currently, the only sound that could be heard was the seatbelt warning signal.

Jungkook hadn’t fastened his seatbelt. It was unknown if he had forgotten about it or lost his mind, thinking he had traveled back to when you still fastened his seatbelt.

Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen again. The only thing you could do was remind him about it.

“Buckle up,” you clenched his jaw. ‘Buckle up’ was the second thing you had said to Jungkook after many years of not seeing each other. You two were at the facade of The Guild earlier. Jungkook was rooted on the ground for a long time, thinking he had gone insane to imagine you waiting for him just like before.

But when he returned to his senses, you were still standing before him, and then you opened your car door, gesturing for Jungkook to hop in.

Jungkook didn’t know what kind of demon (presumably the greedy one) had possessed him to enter your car.

Blame it on his brain that short-circuited, relying only on what happened years ago. He didn’t even hesitate. He just got the hell in, as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

What was unnatural was how he tried to fasten his seatbelt. He was a bit drunk, after all. His brain was working slower than usual. Jungkook buckled up while wearing the thick yellow Ronald McDonald gloves.

It took him seven tries before realizing that he should remove the gloves, but before he could, you had already leaned closer, buckling the seatbelt for him.

So much for not helping Jungkook, huh?

Since you were close, your unfamiliar scent assaulted Jungkook’s nose. Gone was the soft fabric conditioner that usually stained your clothing. It was replaced by something expensive that seduced someone instead of overwhelming their senses.

Jungkook suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. In all honesty, it wasn’t just him. The strong smell of alcohol on Jungkook terrorized you—instantly turning your mood sour.

“You are drunk.” You moved away, focusing on driving once again. Your hand clenched the steering wheel tighter.

Jungkook didn’t speak. He knew how much you hated it when he drank. It brought you pain and memories from the past you’d rather forget.

Jungkook trembled just thinking about those harrowing memories. Meanwhile, despite your apparent anger, you still turned on the car’s heater when you noticed Jungkook shivering; this awakened another memory.

Once, Jungkook couldn’t stop complaining about how hot it was inside your old car, so you, completely crazy over him, brought out a folding fan to help Jungkook cool down.

It was ridiculous and sweet at the same time. Imagine driving with one hand while using the other to fan the annoying person in the passenger seat. Jungkook didn’t have the heart to see you suffer like this, so he snatched the folding fan from you and fanned himself. Besides, it was dangerous.

Looking back, you had always risked many things to make him happy. Jungkook’s heart throbbed at this realization.

So many years had passed, but you still found a way to care about him.

Jungkook found that he couldn’t take it. He wanted to get away right now. 

“Where are we going?” He asked. Only now did he realize how stupid he was to get into this car.

You opened your mouth to speak, then closed it again. You wanted to say something but changed your mind at the last minute.

“Where do you live? I will bring you home.”

“No need.” Jungkook turned you down in a heartbeat. Who would have thought you would clench your jaw and disagree?

“You are drunk. I am bringing you home.”

Jungkook inhaled sharply. There must be something wrong with his head when he wished to see you. Your relationship was severed years ago. You two no longer understood each other. Just look at you—even your way of speaking changed. Jungkook’s tooth ached while listening to you talk formally.

But in the end, Jungkook told you the way home—just not his exact address.

“I’ll be okay here. The streets going to my apartment are narrow. Your car won’t be able to get in.” This wasn’t a lie. Jungkook lived in the poorest area of the city. Going there would only burden you, especially because many gangs waited there. They did not appreciate newcomers. Besides, your car was too flashy. You might end up walking home with a stab wound.

Thinking about that ugly scene, Jungkook shivered again. “Seriously. Just drop me off here. I’m not that drunk, okay?”

It was meant to be a reassuring statement, but your face turned ashen upon hearing that. The rims of your eyes even went red.

Jungkook touched on a sensitive topic that made your heart beat like a drum. He expected you to lash out just like before, but contrary to Jungkook’s thoughts, you simply pursed your lips like you were enduring something painful.

And then you finally stopped the car.

“Contact me.” You handed a calling card to Jungkook. The latter hesitated to receive it because for what? Why did you two need to contact each other again?

You sensed his hesitation. Your grip on the calling card constricted. You almost pushed it to Jungkook’s chest.

“Give me yours,” you demanded as if you knew your former best friend would never call you.

Jungkook held his sneer. He didn’t have a business card. Nobody would want them, so what’s the purpose of printing?

“I’ll call you.” Jungkook snatched the business card and hastily opened the door. He got out in the blink of an eye.

You were stunned but didn’t stop him.

“Thank you for the ride. Happy New Year. See you around.” A lie. He would not see you ever again.

It was too embarrassing. Jungkook was not used to feeling his heart beat crazy again. He was an old man now. He couldn’t handle intense emotions.

Seeing you after a long separation opened wounds he thought had already healed.

He fooled himself. He was a clown.

Literally.

Jungkook went straight to the comfort room of his apartment. His system really knew how to cooperate, huh? He was only vomiting now that he was out of your judgmental stares.

But really, could he blame you? Jungkook also looked at his reflection in the mirror, judging his clown self. He wished the brown patches in the mirror could cover it whole.

He didn’t want to see his face—didn’t want to think that he really met you while wearing the Ronald McDonald mascot costume.

Jungkook: “...”

Jungkook punched the mirror. 

And then let out an animalistic groan.

Jungkook hated physical pain, but he had a rush of dopamine seeing his hand bleed.

His thought of wanting to die was unleashed. He suppressed his pain and anger for years but couldn’t hold on any longer.

Just for today, Jungkook wanted to let it out. It was New Year, after all. He swore this was the last time he’d cling to his past.

And so he punched the mirror one more time. It hurt. It hurt so much that he wanted to cry or die.

Jungkook collapsed on his bed, breathing heavily.

Breathed in.

A tear fell.

Breathed out.

More tears.

He couldn’t die, so he just cried until he fell asleep.

***

Jungkook was jolted awake the next day by the banging on his apartment door. The sound was piercing, perfectly and annoyingly matching his pounding head.

A groan escaped Jungkook’s lips. He had to drag his heavy body to open the door. His eyes were still bleary from having woken up, and before he could properly look at the person in front of him, a knife had already penetrated his skin.

“Good morning, Jungkook-ah. I’ve come collecting debts~” The person who stabbed Jungkook had a saccharine voice, but the killing intent mixed in it was apparent.

Jungkook touched his aching stomach, unable to pay attention to the intruder. He looked at his hand; two colors were mixed together, giving an illusion of something hopeless and terrifying: reddish-brown, the color of dried blood from punching the mirror last night, and now fresh red blood stained his fingers.

Jungkook had been stabbed and was pushed to the ground before he could groan in pain.

“Why the long face, Jungkook-ah? Aren’t you happy?” The intruder mocked.

Jungkook was familiar with this intruder. He was Lee Sung. This man collected debts on behalf of Jang Min, his master.

“Eh? You’re not answering me? Jungkook-ah, it’s New Year. Where’re your manners? Haven’t you learned anything?” Lee Sung sneered, hauling Jungkook to his feet only to slam him against the wall.

Jungkook cursed internally: Bastard, yes, it’s fucking New Year. Won’t you give me a break!? But as usual, he couldn’t voice out his indignation. He didn’t have the energy and power to do so.

Powerless people had no voice. If there was one thing Jungkook learned in life, it was to act according to what the one in power wanted. It would make his life easy because he didn’t see the point of fighting when he knew he would lose from the start.

“You promised to pay eleven thousand yen for this month’s interest. Where’s the money~?”

Jungkook screwed his eyes shut. He lost track of the amount of interest accumulating in his debt. He didn’t even know how much the principal amount was. How could he remember? He was drowning in debt. Would you care how many times the waves hit you? No, right? You would only think about surviving or grasping for a life jacket.

His current life jacket amounted to nine thousand yen, so that’s exactly what he said.

“I have ₩9000 with me,” Jungkook’s Adam’s apple bobbed in his throat. Cold sweat slid down his spine. “Can I...pay the remaining amount next week? I swear I—”

Lee Sung slashed Jungkook’s exposed collarbone with a knife, possibly to get him to stop bargaining.

“Of course, Jungkook-ah. I’m a generous man, don’t you know?” The lunatic with a weapon slashed another layer of Jungkook’s skin. “But I’m afraid I must cut your skin twice. One for each won you cannot pay today. Seems fair?”

Without waiting for an answer, Lee Sung already hurt Jungkook. The latter didn’t fight back. By the time the intruder was done, he had spat on Jungkook’s face and then pushed him.

The wooden floor creaked as Jungkook’s trembling body fell down.

“See you next week. Prepare the money, or I’ll have to cut your throat the next time we meet.” And then Lee Sung was gone.

Jungkook gritted his teeth, clutching his bleeding stomach. He had to call for an emergency before he lost consciousness. Unfortunately, his phone was on the bed. He struggled to crawl just to reach for his phone.

Perhaps the universe saw how helpless he was that he was granted exceptional luck: he had managed to call for help before his hand lost all power, dropping his phone as darkness clouded his vision.

***

← Previous Chapter (01) | Next Chapter (03) →

A/N: Please leave a like or comment if you enjoy reading this fic. It motivates me to write faster. Thank you ~~

[kaypeace21]

[The future of this BLOG]: SHOWS I'm planning on analyzing here & on YouTube

Interview with the vampire

Invincible

House of the dragon

The boys

Umbrella acadamy

Bridgerton probably (still haven't had time to watch part 2 yet)

stranger things: I have mixed feelings about reviewing it given what certain staff has said and done. I oscilate between wanting to review the final season or wanting to boycott it (especially as someone who has been part of the BDS movement for 1/2 her life). But, on one hand, It's not the fault of the underpaid (and talented) writers and staff who don't have these views. And I do believe some of the writing staff may have good intentions and want to give us a positive and powerful message to the audience about healing from childhood tr*uma. However, other members of the writing staff may just want to go down the stereotypical and popular-easy route. We'll just have to wait and see what happens in the last season. If I hear the ending isn't simply another re-hashing of prior seasons and it's more like s1-2 (without the cliches of s3-4). I'd be more inclined to review it by *cough* and watching it elsewhere. Once I was logged back on to tumblr: I did have a whole draft saved about my politics since I was a kid and why I still feel so strongly about such conflicts, today . But, I shouldn't make the topic about me- and I'm not sure anyone wants to hear my life story XD. So, the big point (to my followers) is regardless of whether I chose to watch it or boycot it-

I'm not deleting the old ST content: so do what you want with it (like, reblog, add details to reblogs I didn't notice). Have fun :D !

Analyzing ST certainly helped me improve in terms of media literacy (and it'll be beneficial for the future content I make). So even if it sometimes got messy here, I do appreciate all the positives the ST blog and followers brought to me.The kind words meant a lot. For those who want to unfollow me for my political beliefs , that's totally fine. That's your prerogative. For those who want to unfollow cause again ST was pretty much my whole blog: again I TOTALLY understand and I wish you the best :). I'm not going to judge, take away, or guilt anyone, for their choice of media they like. Enjoy it (I truly mean that).

For those who continue to follow my blog . I appreciate you SO MUCH! I've been gone from this blog for such a long time cause of school (and I appreciate those who stayed and were excited to see me again). The positive words meant a lot over the years. Everyone have a lovely day. Take care of yourselves.

Sincerely, Kay

ps: I'm open to other media suggestions too so you can drop them in my message box (recent films/ shows, mini/limited series, animation, heck i'm open to comedies and foreign media too).But, analyzing them will most likely be after the shows listed above .Right now I'm focusing on my national exam and my mental health. My first video will probably be in late August or early September. My test is August 20th. Hope everyone is doing well .I'm feeling much better mentally. Hope everyone is feeling the same way :)

for my 1st video I’ll just post it to youtube . But for other videos I may make a early access patreon (like a week before the next video comes out free on youtube). Have to google how all that works (or if there's better alternatives) . Totally fine if you can't afford it (you'll get to see it for free on youtube regardless :D) . I'll be honest . I'm primarily thinking of doing it cause I need to pay off those student loans and I'm trying to hopefully move out of state in a few years. Plus, I love analyzing media anyways (so making it a part time job would be a dream come true .

[theology101]

BG3 Companions Ranked

This post is for Haley Whipjack on youtube and tiktok and her only so everyone else can leave. But they have three fun videos where she ranks the companions by increasingly silly Metrics. I propose the following

Most likely to turn a non contact sport a contact sport

Minthara. She will elbow, knee, anything to get an advantage and win. There are NO lines that she won’t cross

Astarion. He also has no moral limits but the amount of effort that he puts in heavily depends on his mood. Some days he’s throwing hands, most the time he’s barely paying attention

Karlach. There is no malice in her brain, at all, but she gets really excited when she plays the game and sometimes accidents happen, and by sometimes i mean a lot

Minsc. The same as karlach, but he’s a bit lower cause boo will try to reign him in a bit

Lae’zel. This is actually a flawed premise for lae’zel as she only enjoys contact sports - but if she’s playing an actual game of basketball with rules and stuff, she’ll obey them. If it’s her and karlach playing in the local park, they’re both throwing hands while playing basketball

Shadowheart. She doesnt do it the whole game, but whenever she thinks she can get away with it, she’ll do it. She has moral compunctions about it and feels bad later but in the moment she’s like “oh this is so smart”

Halsin. The caveat is that it’s never violent or painful, because he plays with a lot of children. He, thaniel and oliver play with him in bear form so he just like, knocks them over a little, puts his paw on them, etc

Gale. He wouldn’t, because he doesnt like the concept of cheating like that… but if he was losing? If he started getting really pissy about it? He’s making that sport contact

Jaheira. She just wouldnt do it, but also probably isnt even playing the sport or bothering to pay attention

Wyll. He would NEVER! I don’t need to say much more

Most likely to owe money to someone:

Minthara. She’s committing fraud and tax evasion to fund her various schemes, but it’s all underhanded and subversive that’s it just an open secret. She has BILLIONS in some bank accounts in Thay and no one is ever touching it

Gale. He has so, so, so much student loan debt. Even more from his phase when he was an addict. He can hear the whispers of the private sector but he’s still try to stay pure in accademia

Astarion. He committed Check Fraud. And owes Cazador a lot in back pay for his ‘rent’ and ‘food,’ but if you kill the old bastard Astarion get the estate so its all fine

Karlach. Straight up buys things without knowing how much money she has because she want the thing - but only for like, impulse purchases, and that kinda spontaneity has put her in debt. Plus she has a BUNCH of subscriptions she forgot to quit out

Halsin. He straight up does not know that, but he had an overdue ticket that he owed but he doesnt have a mailing address so no one can tell him

Minsc. Honestly? He doesn’t handle money. If he did, he’d hand it to Boo. If he can’t do that, he will lose it and get in trouble. Jaheria does it

Shadowheart. Not likely to have much debt, pretty sensible, but might get like, a ticket a lot. Red lights have little interest for her

Jaheria. So she has debt, and probably will for a while, but she’s also had it for a while and none of it is especially crushing. She paid off her house decades ago, so most of her money is spent on her children. Now especially that they’re young adults she has more debt on top of living costs - and Minsc too

Wyll. He’s good. He came from money and he gets it. He had a wild amount of debt from Mizaora but by the end of the game he’s good. He’s good

Lae’zel. That’s breaking a rule (because if people are mad its your fault), and Lae’zel would NEVER do that. Plus her life style is INCREDIBLY spartan. m

Most likely to have pets (and what kind):

Halsin. He doesn’t call them pets, but that’s really what the ones in the emerald grove are. For all intents and purposes, they’re domesticated - he just talks to them so he doesnt call them pets

Minsc. He has a hampster in game

Gale, he has a cat (if you origin play as him, otherwise she’s off screen :/ )

Shadowheart. In the farm ending? In her idyllic country side life? She has pet after god damn pet. She loves them all, she has Scratch, a Barn Cat, a House Cat (who doesnt like to go outside), Sheep, Chickens, Cows, you name it? She’s got it

Minthara canonically has a history of pets - we know of mimics, displacer beasts, and giant spiders. She has pets, but they’re VIOLENT things and she does feed them people

Lae’zel. If you count a dragon as a pet, but that feels demeaning. Otherwise (besides being Shadowheart’s wife) and an otherwise practical animal, she’s alright.

Astarion. He likes pets and would love to live in the house with one… he just doesnt want to be its primary care giver. Nothing on animals, he just wont put in the effort. He’s above Wyll because i think he would get incredibly and unhealthily attached to whatever animal he ends up with.

Wyll. He might get a dog, probably not if he’s in hell. It’s something he’s thought about in his head for his possible future but nothing concrete. If he did, he’d take really good care of it, but he wouldnt go out of his way to get one

Karlach. She wants a pet, sooo badly, but can’t have one. Well, maybe she can get a Hellhound or something, but she’s going to be in combat scenario 24/7 so thats… probably temporary

Jaheira. She has enough going on in her life to deal with having a pet. She might coexist in a space with an animal, but she did not want it and is taking 0 steps in that things development or care. She’s busy

Who graduated College and for what major:

Gale. Multiple PhDs at a VERY young age, im thinking like, chemistry and physics? Then he doubled down on some more

Astarion. He’s a lawyer, so he went through college and then law school, as well as passing the bar. Probably has an expired license though and will not be updating it before trying to practice law. His major was pre-law, cause he knew what he wanted as his job but didnt know what he was passionate it

Minthara. She had a VERY good private tutor growing up for multiple subjects, went to a very prestigious university that her uncle was a member of the faculty, buildings named after her family, the whole nine yards. She stopped formal education after her four years but has taken up a number of other subjects to study. PoliSci or Psychology major

Lae’zel. She went to the Military Academy for the Gith, graduated like two months ago and then gets tadpoled. Definitely an anatomy major to know the most fragile parts of the body

Jaheira. She grew up in a comune of hippies and was home schooled by them, but since becoming more active, she’s taken a few courses at the community college to get a civics degree.

Shadowheart. She went to catholic school her entire life, was going to go to a catholic college, but then she changed her hair and moved to the west coast. Since then she’s just been hanging out as a bisexual

Wyll. You’d think he’s be higher, but he became a monster hunter at 17, so he didnt even finish High School, then he either lands a cushy government job and will be too busy, or a monster hunter still and also too busy

Karlach. Dropped out of high school and joined up with Gortash at 16

Minsc. Has never attended a school, he’s just fine. He doesnt know how the world works and frankly? He’s not interested. The least information curious man on the planet

Halsin. He is confused by the concept. You know the type of environment Jaheira grew up in? That. It’s him. He creates that mind of environment for children.

[marzipanandminutiae]

Hello I was just wondering if you've seen Imani Barbarin talk about not voting (https://x.com/imani_barbarin/status/1747723080917492020?s=46&t=55h0eHrgY7FtQI8ej54maw)? I saw you reblog the post about "not waiting for the morally pure candidate" and I think that's a willful misrepresentation of what Gen Z is feeling

We've not seen Biden address ANY of the things the post claims (climate change is the only one I remember without scrolling back) but we have seen him approve more oil licenses than trump, drop more bombs than trump, support a genocide, abandon disabled people and any Covid mitigations during the second highest surge since the start of the pandemic (with less testing so odds are things r even worse than we can tell), bring back student debt, etc etc

As a Gen Z'r, I genuinely want to understand how y'all can believe "no vote is a vote for fascism" when both candidates are horrendous? Why is the onus on us and not the politicians to do better instead of pointing fingers and saying "at least we're better than Trump" when that is categorically untrue?

I'm sorry if this is too rant-y I'm just so furious and frustrated with my perception of older voters' complacency with being given utter shit instead of organizing for better

I am trying very hard to be reasoned and understanding about this- bearing in mind that we want the same things in the end and I'mnot jazzed for Biden either -when it's extremely, EXTREMELY obvious to me that Trump is worse.

Like.

If he gets elected there might not be another election. The man was theoretically willing to use military force to quell protests if he lost the 2020 election (why he didn't, I don't know; but I'm not willing to give him that chance a second time).

Trump has called himself a dictator, proudly, in the same breath as saying "we're closing the border and we're drilling, drilling, drilling." Biden does NOT remotely have a perfect record on either of those things- he was locked into some construction of the border wall by how the funds had already been allocated by Congress during the Trump administration, but not everything he's done in relation to it, which also pisses me off. As for the oil thing, it's a bit more complicated than it seems on the surface: not as simple as "he doesn't actually care about the environment" even as it's definitely not a good move or in line with his stated climate goals.

As for those climate goals, I found this interesting article that rates key areas of climate action and how they've fared during the Biden administration. It was updated in January, and it is not sycophantically uncritical across the board. But that is LEAGUES more progress than we'd get under a system of "drilling, drilling, drilling" with absolutely no concessions to the climate crisis at all.

His handling of the situation in Palestine...yeah, I struggle with that, too. I know he's been trying to talk their leaders down, to some degree, but it's not nearly enough to me. And I STRONGLY disagree with us selling them weapons. However, Trump's statements on the matter- calling for a ban on Gazan refugees in the US, calling pro-Palestinian protestors "barbarians," and saying he'd revoke the student visa of anyone he deemed "anti-American" -makes me believe that letting him get into power is not something my conscience would allow, vis a vis the fate of the Palestinian people. Because it would be exponentially worse.

I also think the material good that has happened under the Biden administration has been...MASSIVELY under-publicized. Because like. He HAS addressed things. Lots of things, in fact.

this article from last year was too early to include pardoning thousands of people federally convicted of simple marijuana possession (again, not perfect, but still very good), setting new rules to limit methane emissions, capping prices for at least some major insulin producers, partial student loan debt forgiveness (tried to do more, but got hamstrung by Republicans), cancelling oil leases granted by Trump in the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (not enough given the leases HE granted, but it's not nothing either), and much more I'm sure I'm overlooking. Because, again, nobody's been talking about it. It sells more news subscriptions to feed readers an endless stream of what Biden is doing wrong- which I am not denying! -leaving people with the dangerous impression that both sides are the same. Republicans would not have done any of this. That's just the truth of the matter.

Look, I would like a better option, too. I would love to actually LIKE a presidential candidate in my lifetime. I'd love one who wouldn't make concessions to the interests of selfish, heartless people with ledgers where their sense of human compassion should be. I just don't see that person coming to power between now and November.

And I'll take someone who is Standard US Politician Slimy but at least makes some improvements (unfortunately, I doubt there's anyone with a chance of winning in less than a year who doesn't support Israel to some degree, since this country have a long history of that) over someone who might actually stage a right-wing military coup, and who would kill me and other marginalized people himself if he thought it would get him more fame and fortune.

Some people say their conscience won't let them vote Biden. I can't tell them what to do. But if he gets the Democratic nomination, my conscience wouldn't let me do anything else.

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Ian Millhiser at Vox:

The Supreme Court delivered a firm and unambiguous rebuke to some of America’s most reckless judges on Thursday, ruling those judges were wrong to declare an entire federal agency unconstitutional in a decision that threatened to trigger a second Great Depression. In a sensible world, no judge would have taken the plaintiffs arguments in CFPB v. Community Financial Services Association seriously. Briefly, they claimed that the Constitution limits Congress’s ability to enact “perpetual funding,” meaning that the legislation funding a particular federal program does not sunset after a certain period of time. The implications of this entirely made-up theory of the Constitution are breathtaking. As Justice Elena Kagan points out in a concurring opinion in the CFPB case, “spending that does not require periodic appropriations (whether annual or longer) accounted for nearly two-thirds of the federal budget” — and that includes popular programs like Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid.

Nevertheless, a panel of three Trump judges on the United States Court of Appeals for the Fifth Circuit — a court dominated by reactionaries who often hand down decisions that offend even the current, very conservative Supreme Court — bought the CFPB plaintiffs’ novel theory and used it to declare the entire Consumer Financial Protection Bureau unconstitutional. In fairness, the Fifth Circuit’s decision would not have invalidated Social Security or Medicare, but that’s because the Fifth Circuit made up some novel limits to contain its unprecedented interpretation of the Constitution. And the Fifth Circuit’s attack on the CFPB still would have had catastrophic consequences for the global economy had it actually been affirmed by the justices. That’s because the CFPB doesn’t just regulate the banking industry. It also instructs banks on how they can comply with federal lending laws without risking legal sanction — establishing “safe harbor” practices that allow banks to avoid liability so long as they comply with them.

As a brief filed by the banking industry explains, without these safe harbors, the industry would not know how to lawfully issue loans — and if banks don’t know how to issue loans, the mortgage market could dry up overnight. Moreover, because home building, home sales, and other industries that depend on the mortgage market make up about 17 percent of the US economy, a decision invalidating the CFPB could trigger economic devastation unheard of since the Great Depression. Thankfully, that won’t happen. Seven justices joined a majority opinion in CFPB which rejects the Fifth Circuit’s attack on the United States economy, and restates the longstanding rule governing congressional appropriations. Congress may enact any law funding a federal institution or program, so long as that law “authorizes expenditures from a specified source of public money for designated purposes.”

[...]

Notably, the Supreme Court’s CFPB decision was authored by Justice Clarence Thomas, who is ordinarily the Court’s most conservative member. The fact that even Thomas delivered such an unambiguous rebuke to the Fifth Circuit is a sign of just how far the lower court went off the rails in its decision.

Two justices did dissent: Justice Samuel Alito, the Court’s most reliable GOP partisan, and Justice Neil Gorsuch, who also dissented in a similar case that could have triggered an economic depression if Gorsuch’s view had prevailed. Alito’s dissenting opinion is difficult to parse, but it largely argues that the CFPB is unconstitutional because Congress used an unusual mechanism to fund it.

SCOTUS ruled 7-2 in CFPB v. Community Financial Services Association that the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau is constitutional, delivering a big rebuke to the ultra-radical right-wing 5th Circuit Court. The author of this ruling is Clarence Thomas.

[seitokaisnihongo]

The Entirety of Japanese, Lesson #1

AKA - I'm sorry, you do have to learn all three scripts.

Welcome to our first lesson! Today, we are going to learn how to read Japanese.

Sort of.

See, it's not something you can learn in one day, or one lesson. Learning a language is a gradual process that doesn't cement until you start *using* it.

So we will go over the basics, both the WHY three scripts and the HOW to learn all three over time, and then provide 10+ FREE resources from all over the internet for you to practice with!

Let's go!

Why All Three Scripts?

Short answer: because I said so.

Kidding.

The Japanese language has no spaces in it. Unlike English where there is a space between each word, Japanese sentences look like this:

スモモも桃も桃のうち

All three scripts are in this sentence. It translates to "plums and peaches are both like peaches". An odd sentence, but here's why I chose it...

When you write it in *just* Hiragana (the basic, "first" phonetic script), it looks like this:

すもももももももものうち

Yikes. So many も, with no way to tell apart the multiple words in the も train.

So... how can you tell similar words apart when written out?

Wait, let's look back a bit. Can you tell where different words are in the sentence before? Yes. Even without being taught *anything* about the Japanese language, you can tell where different words start just by looking at it.

By writing in multiple scripts, you can tell similar words apart.

Okay... But How Do I Learn Them?

There's quite a few ways to learn them. In fact, on Thursday we will be publishing community responses from our Discord detailing how THEY learned the scripts.

But for now, here is the two first scripts you'll learn in their entirety, thanks to Coto Japanese Acamedy

You'll learn these first for three reasons:

First, they are easier.

Second, you can spell any word in Japanese with these two scripts. Not a hard and fast rule, but Hiragana is used for native Japanese words and Katakana is usually used for international loan words, emphasis, names, and 'sound effect words', aka onomatopoeia.

Third, you'll see Hiragana above Kanji (the difficult one) that tells you how to pronounce Kanji.

As far as actually learning them, you *could* just write them down over and over.

Writing is super important when learning Japanese.

But it might be easier to start with some apps, games, and videos where you can learn the characters both in context AND within words.

Here's our favorite FREE resources:

Duolingo (Website, Android, and Apple) is great for learning singular words and Hiragana / Katakana, however explanations of grammar is limited to desktop. Still, PERFECT for the beginning stages regardless of device.

Bunpo is another free app for learning Japanese!

JapanesePod101's videos on Hiragana and Katakana over on Youtube are fantastic for hearing natural speach.

Tofugu's Hiragana and Katakana blog posts have the * best * mnemomics, with sound bites.

Busuu's (Website, Android, Apple) Japanese course starts off with Hiragana words to get you speaking immediately.

Kana (Apple, Android) is a free app dedicated to JUST Hiragana and Katakana.

Tae Kim's Guide to Learning Japanese is the holy grail for new Japanese learners. Of course, it has a no-frills explanations of all three scripts.

Japanese Ammo with Misa has detailed lessons on everything, including Kana.

Here's a video on the difference between printed and written Hiragana fonts.

And finally... our discord server.

Wait... what about Kanji?

Well, the problem is there's a lot to learn. A LOT.

You'll be learning them over the course of yearssssssss. But that's fine; you can tune into our lessons to learn them.

Join right here to practice what you learn! You'll also gain access to new friends learning the same language AND more free resources.

We can't wait to see you there!

[bucky-fricking-barnes]

Like Breathing - One

Title: Like Breathing

Word Count: 3.2k

Part Warnings: Dead and injured animals, killing animals, blood, harassment, and stitching up wounds

Summary: Bucky’s life in Cove is far from perfect, mostly because Cove’s residents want nothing more than to scare him away. Luckily for you, Bucky isn’t easily scared off.

A/N: This is the first part of Like Breathing. I hope you enjoy! As always, thank you for reading. Please let me know what you think! Dividers by @firefly-graphics​​

Translations:

Маленький = Little one

Like Breathing Masterlist

Bucky didn’t kill anymore. His therapist reminded him of that daily, which he loathed, but he still nodded along every time she said it. Of course, it wasn’t true. Bucky had killed yesterday.

The sleepy little town he had been placed in as part of his pardon was practically idyllic. Neatly trimmed lawns lined litter-free streets, and each afternoon when the schools let out, children rode their bicycles up and down the sidewalks. They played ball in the cul-de-sac and Bucky swore that one afternoon he’d even seen an ice cream truck turn the corner west of his house. The ranch-style, one bedroom home had been loaned to him by the FBI. It wasn’t something Bucky would have picked on his own, but Steve had reassured him that once he got his bearings, he could decorate it to feel more like his own place. Bucky had not done that. Everything was exactly as it was the day he moved in—basic furniture with no decor. The only personal items he kept were his clothes, a small box containing pictures and other items sent to him by the Smithsonian, and his laptop, which was also given to him by the FBI. It was most likely bugged, just like the house and the phone. The majority of the items in the house were either already there when he moved in or things he’d purchased for Alpine. Bucky always thought of those as her personal items, not his. She was the only other living being that had ever been in his house. Not even Steve had come to visit.

In the four months he’d lived in Cove, he had limited his interactions to the soft-spoken volunteer at the animal shelter and the older woman who manned the register at the pet store. Both of them had been instrumental when he adopted Alpine, a soft white cat who’d been surrendered to the shelter after she’d hissed at the previous owner’s kids. Bucky didn’t think that was a good enough reason to get rid of a pet. He hadn’t planned on getting a cat, or any kind of animal for that matter, but after his therapist suggested it, Bucky hadn’t been able to get the idea out of his head. It turned out that while Alpine had more attitude than Steve, she was affectionate when he needed it. Other than that, she preferred to keep her distance the majority of the time. She was welcome company while Bucky worked each day.

Laughter and jeering from his front yard drew Bucky’s attention from where he’d been reviewing surveillance data on the bugged laptop. He sighed and got up from the kitchen table, pushing his chair back and ignoring the screech it made as the legs scraped across the old linoleum. Alpine darted out from underneath the table at the sound, sprinting down the hall to the safety of the bedroom, just as she did every day at this hour.

As he trudged through the living room, Bucky didn’t have to wonder what was waiting for him when he opened the front door. Every time it was the same: a pickup speeding off with men teetering in the bed and some form of roadkill bleeding out on the sidewalk in front of his house. His stretch of sidewalk was the only one that kids never played on, and for good reason. The brown stains left by months worth of dead animals never seemed to go away, no matter how much Bucky scrubbed.

Jaw clenched, Bucky grabbed the bucket of tools from just inside the door and headed down to the front of his yard. The deer was young, practically still a fawn, and his chest tightened at the sight. Its chest rose and fell unsteadily and the panicked look in his eyes was all too familiar.

Slowly, Bucky knelt down beside the frightened animal, his back to the street. “I’m not gonna hurt you,” he soothed. 

The animal had been hit by a car—he’d seen these wounds plenty of times—and there was little chance it would survive. Most likely, it would bleed out excruciatingly slow on the sidewalk as the sun sank below the horizon.

“Let’s get you into the backyard, huh? It’s okay.” He kept his voice soft and even as he spoke to it, explaining what he was doing. He knew it couldn’t understand him, but after months of practice, he knew that talking to them kept them calm and kept him from getting a hoof or claw to the face.

Bucky unfolded the tarp from the five-gallon bucket and carefully manipulated the poor animal onto the plastic. Dragging it across the yard to the back of the house was easy, and when it was situated with the forest in view, Bucky left it to get his bucket of tools.

He hated every minute of this ordeal. Sometimes the animals were already dead. Those were the good days. He could simply haul the animal into the woods and leave it for the scavengers. This kind of animal, the ones that were left to suffer in plain view of his living room, were the cases he hated. His nightmares were plagued with them now, their whimpers interspersed with those of his victims long ago.

The most humane thing Bucky could do in situations like these was to put the animal down himself. The first time the creature had still been alive when the men had dumped it, Bucky had attempted to take the animal to the emergency vet less than a mile away. He’d been turned away at the door. The police were no help either, as the sheriff was almost always seated in the back of the pickup. He’d tipped his hat at Bucky one day while they sped away. Bucky had punched a hole in the living room wall.

“You’ll feel better soon,” Bucky said, eyeing the deer as he loaded what he would need into his waistband.

He dragged the tarp into the woods, into the clearing near the meadow. The young deer lifted its head, its longing for the rolling waves of grass and wildflowers clear as it groaned and settled back on the forest floor. Blood slicked over the blue plastic tarp beneath it and Bucky looked away, readying his weapon.

“I’m sorry,” he finally whispered. He looked away as he pulled the trigger. The familiar sound of the silenced gunshot didn’t phase him, and Bucky quickly cleaned up the remains, leaving them for the scavengers once he’d removed the bullet.

After hosing down his equipment and leaving it in the garage to dry, Bucky grabbed a bucket of soapy water and the stiff-bristled brush he used to scrub the sidewalk. He stepped out of the garage, but froze almost immediately.

Another animal had been left in the deer’s place, this time significantly smaller in stature. Bucky glanced back at his drying tools, then set his cleaning bucket down on the driveway. Water sloshed over the side onto the asphalt but he ignored it. In just a few long strides, Bucky knelt down at the animal’s side.

The cat’s fur was matted with blood and it whined pitifully as soon as he was within earshot, but when Bucky reached out to touch it, it hissed and tried to scramble away.

“Hey, I ain’t gonna hurt you. It’s okay.”

A flash of white made Bucky pause. He blinked and Alpine was between him and the other cat, her tail aloft as she stuck her curious nose in the injured feline’s face.

“Alpine, leave them alone!” Bucky scolded. “How did you even get out here?”

Alpine simply ignored him and moved to investigate the other animal further. He looked around, spotting the front door open. He must’ve forgotten to close it and Bucky inwardly kicked himself for making such a stupid mistake. It was usually more about what—or who—could get in his house than what could get out.

Sighing, Bucky reached out to pick up his cat. She obliged his touch, affectionately rubbing her head against his hand when he was close enough. The cat laying on the sidewalk watched Alpine intently as Bucky scratched behind her ears, then scooped her up and carried her back up the driveway and into the house. He shut the front door behind her, then went back to the injured animal’s side.

“You gonna let me help you now?” Bucky asked, keeping his voice soft. “Huh?” He reached out a hand and though the cat tensed, he was able to smooth back the matted fur to find the injury.

The cat had a long cut stretching down its right hind leg, from the hip all the way down to the paw. The blood had already begun to clot, which was a good sign, but it was still a cause for concern. If he jostled the animal too much, they could begin to bleed again. 

“You really got into some trouble there, didn’t you?” As if to reply, the cat meowed and laid its head down on the stained concrete. It still watched him, but it had relaxed and Bucky felt a bit more confident in his ability to move it into the house where he could stitch up its leg. 

“Alright, I’m gonna pick you up. I promise I’ll be as gentle as I can,” he said. He continued to softly narrate his actions as he lifted the cat and held it against his chest, then went into the house through the garage. He jabbed his metal thumb into the button beside the door so that the garage would shut behind him, just in case Alpine decided she wanted to do any more adventuring today.

Alpine, true to form, was waiting for him when he stepped inside the house. She immediately started weaving around his feet, and Bucky would’ve tripped over her if he wasn’t as agile.

“Careful, sweetheart. We gotta be nice to our guest,” he chided when she jumped up on the table. Bucky set the cat down on top of the newspaper he’d left spread out during his research earlier that day. He could get a new copy later if he needed to. Right now his priority was to clean and stitch up the cat’s wound. 

After an hour of work, the injured cat had a freshly shaved leg with a freshly cleaned and stitched wound. She had, surprisingly, stayed still and quiet for the majority of the time, only watching Bucky with wide, frightened eyes. He’d discovered that the cat was a girl partway through, which had been more of a relief than anything. Alpine had taken quite a liking to the new animal. Maybe once the animal healed, his little friend could have a friend of her own, given that nobody came looking for her. Friends he could handle, but kittens were a whole other story.

Bucky shook his head as he went back to cleaning up the table. It was a methodical task, one he could appreciate, but he kept glancing back over his shoulder to check on the cat, who’d fallen asleep shortly after he’d finished. He’d set her up near the litter box, and he’d moved the food and water a bit closer so that she wouldn’t be walking as far on the injured leg. Alpine had curled up for a nap of her own on the floor nearby.

When you woke, it took you a second to remember where you were and what had happened. It wasn’t the first time you’d woken up in a strange house in your feline form, but the injured leg and the fluffy white cat snoozing nearby were a first. Rarely did you ever get hurt. Usually the wound healed well enough on its own, but the trauma from being grabbed by the strange man with the grubby hands and then being tossed off the back of the pickup had exacerbated the cut and your healing had come to a halt.

You’d been wary of the dark-haired man who’d found you. He’d had an aura of shame and fear about him, and you’d immediately recoiled. Then, the little white cat had appeared out of nowhere. She was his cat, she’d said in so many words, and the man was good. He fed her, played with her, and the house was warm and safe. You’d relented and taken a good look at him. Warmth had settled into your bones despite your injury and your gut had told you that the white cat was telling the truth. The man with the metal arm was good.

He had carried you inside, cradling you against his chest with the gentlest of touches. He seemed to know what he was doing as he fixed up your leg. At some point after he’d tended to the gash, you’d passed out from the pain and exhaustion.

Now, you were in a soft bed on the floor of his laundry room. You slowly uncurled and managed to prop yourself up without putting too much weight on your injured leg. You had to be careful—if it didn’t heal right, you could get stuck in this form forever, or your human form could suffer the effects of the injury as well.

Alpine lifted her head and blinked sleepily when she sensed your movement.

You’re awake.

“How long has it been since I passed out?” you asked.

She looked towards the back door, where the night sky was visible through several small panes of glass. Only a few hours.

A shout from upstairs made you jump, and Alpine was off like a shot. She raced out of the laundry room through the kitchen, and you heard her scramble down the hall. Another shout piqued your curiosity and you limped after her. Whimpers and a heavy sob were enough of a trail for you to follow.

The man was sitting on the edge of the bed, Alpine clutched against him and his face buried in her fur. He cried as you cautiously hobbled into the bedroom, sticking to the shadows along the walls. Your fur wasn’t dark enough to hide you completely, but it would keep you hidden long enough for you to judge the situation.

Alpine purred soothingly and you listened to the man cry as you looked around the room. The top of the dresser and the nightstand were empty except for a small digital clock and the man’s charging phone. Every space in the house, from what you’d seen, was strangely barren. There was nothing personal to tell you about your rescuer, and while that should have made you uneasy, it only made the sad pit in your stomach grow deeper.

You let out a quiet whimper when a twinge ran down your leg and the man stiffened. He lifted his head from Alpine’s fur and peered around the room.

“Маленький?” he murmured. “Is that you?”

Hesitantly, you crept away from the wall and into the dim light coming from the moon outside. You knew your eyes would glint in the light and he’d be able to find you easier that way. 

Just as you’d suspected, the man’s attention snapped to you as soon as you were in the light. He set Alpine down on the bed and carefully knelt on the hardwood floor, his hand trembling as he reached out to you.

“You shouldn’t be up and moving around so soon,” he chided, and you meowed in irritation.

He hovers, Alpine said from her perch on the bed. You glanced up at her. When he’s worried, he hovers. When he’s scared, he hovers.

You let the man brush his fingers against your fur. He exhaled shakily and you stepped closer until he could run his hand over your back. The feeling was sublime and you arched under his touch. It had been so long since someone had touched you with such gentleness and care, and you knew then that you were a goner. You’d stay with this man for as long as you could.

“Thank you for saving me,” you told him, though you knew he couldn’t understand you in this form. 

The man smiled a little. It didn’t reach his eyes, but he seemed to appreciate the tidbit of interaction you’d given him. In response, you bumped your head against his knee, rubbing against the soft fabric of his pajamas.

“I wonder if you’ve got a name or an owner out there,” he mused. He continued to pet you as you rubbed against his legs. Eventually, you stood still and peered up at Alpine, who had settled with her tail just over the edge of the mattress. She twitched it, knowing you could see, and you narrowed your eyes at her challenge. Alpine was a young cat, and though she was sweet and naive enough to believe that you were just like her, you sensed an air of playfulness and spice about her.

Noticing your change in focus, the man scooped you up and lifted you onto the bed. You wobbled a little on the mattress before batting at Alpine. She flipped over to play and you indulged her, playing as much as you could without putting the health of your leg in jeopardy.

“What’s the man’s name?” you asked, dodging her paw.

Alpine chirped back at you. Bucky, she said. That’s what the men on the phone always call him.

“The men on the phone?” 

They call almost every day. He likes some of them. The others make him sad and angry.

You filed that information away for later use, and you were reaching out to block Alpine’s paw again when Bucky picked her up. He shifted her up near his pillow, then reached for you. On instinct, you backed away, your ears flattening when the metal of his arm glinted in the moonlight filtering in through the window.

“Hey, pretty girl,” Bucky soothed. “I won’t hurt you, remember?”

Another twinge of pain shot up your leg to your hip. You let out a sharp yelp when it twitched and hit the bedpost. Instantly, Bucky’s forehead creased in concern and he eased his flesh hand between your back and the wooden post.

“Easy now. I don’t want you falling off or hurting yourself more. You wanna get down off the bed? Is that what you want?”

You let out a slow breath and stared at him, forcing yourself to relax. You looked down at the floor and then at him in hopes that he would take that as a ‘yes’. When Bucky reached out and moved to pick you up again, you let him. He lowered you down onto the floor without another word. You scooted underneath the bed, closing your eyes when the feeling of being sheltered and safe settled into your bones. 

“She’ll be okay, Alpine.”

Bucky’s voice was barely audible in the silence under the bed and you peeked open an eye, listening.

“She’s gotta be.”

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