#ANOTHER WELCOME TO NIGHT VALE QUOTE!!

[b33viemm]

Oh, Crowley. Nothing lasts forever.

Crowley's magnificent hair :D click for higher quality IDs in alt inverted versions below cut

[the-magpie-archives]

Do you ever wonder if maybe the reason that so many fiction podcasts have eye related imagery is because it's one of the only non visual forms of media these days? Because to tell a story with no visuals is to allow the audience to truly see, without boundaries or restrictions.

[sdra2-incorrect-quotes]

Nikei: And now, a public service announcement.

Nikei: Alligators - will they eat your children?

Nikei: Yes.

[quote-tournament]

Sixth round, second fight

Quote number 113 :

Death is only the end, if you believe the story is about you

-Cecil Gershwin Palmer, Welcome to Night Vale

VS

Quote number 172 :

“I sat with my anger long enough until she told me her real name was grief.”

-C.S Lewis

VS

Third round's honourable mention number 2 :

“In another life, I would have really liked just doing laundry and taxes with you”

-Waymond, Everything Everywhere All at Once

[gaytventhusiast]

A Short Piece On Cal and the Quote That Broke My Heart. (Ep 1-108 Spoilers) (CW for queer trauma)

The only context you will need is that Cecil's brother comes to visit him and in the process Cecil enters into another reality closer to ours in terms of ideology.

Up until Cal, you've spent over 100 episode with Cecil Palmer. You hear him be unapologetically himself. You hear him unapologetically fall in love and finally unapologetically get married to that man.

Welcome to Nightvale is what I would describe as an idealistic queer society. This does not mean the society in itself is 'Idealistic'. That's hardly how I would describe the horrors that sweep Nightvale on the frequent. No, what I mean is that this is a world, or at the least a town, where queer isn't even in its people's vocabulary. At no point does WTNV ever use the word 'Gay'. People fall in love and people exist as themselves without needing to explain. That is an idealistic queer society.

And then you reach episode 108, Cal. I first listened to nightvale a couple years back. In fact I believe I have only listened to this episode once. And one quote from it has stuck with me ever since. Not because it was particularly dramatic, mind you. In fact, what hit me about it was the complete opposite. Because Welcome to Nightvale broke my heart with an internal monologue that is almost mundane to us queer listeners. Cecil anecdotes about a conversation he has with his brother in this other reality where his brother asks him if he has a girlfriend yet and Cecil recounts thinking this:

"In my life with Cal, I had never told him I would never have a girlfriend. In Night Vale, no one cared either way, but I felt like Cal would have. In this other reality, I was single, so I only said “No.” "

After over a hundred episodes of escapist queer joy, you hear Cecil, a man who has lived his life being able to just exist, feel shame. A deep seated shame conditioned into every queer person. Every time you are told things are getting better when you complain that things are still bad. Every time you are made to feel like you are unworthy of love or only worthy of suffering. No matter how confident. That trauma. That deep deep shame remains.

It is a systemic shame not found in these idealistic societies. 

It's a reality check of an episode, that although intentional or not, lets you feel everything you've been conditioned to suppress. I cried for Cecil and I cried for myself. Because realising how much this character I loved didn't deserve to feel that way about who he was made it hit me how much I, as a queer person, also do not deserve to feel that way. My empathy for him reflected back upon myself and I was heartbroken.

My heart broke for a character's suffering that is just my everyday reality.

In my opinion it's one thing for a piece of media to show you your suffering; it's a whole other thing for it to make you truly feel like you don't deserve it.

[fashiondisastertournament]

ROUND 4 ½: Which two Losers or Honorary Disasters belong in the semifinals?

Matchup #4 ½.2: Gabriel Agreste (Miraculous Ladybug) vs Carlos the Scientist (Welcome to Night Vale)

Another Loser who we now have back is Gabe Cringefail Agreste! <3 Now pitted against our second Honorary Disaster with the highest vote count - Carlos, who didn't originally make it into the bracket but is here now!

Only one can join the semifinals, but which one?

On the left, we see a fashion designer. Yes. This is a fashion designer. Gabriel Agreste from Miraculous Ladybug! He conquered a vampire and Satan himself already, but can he stand against Teru? With multiple nominations, he has made it into the bracket for:

the monarch outfit (above) and all other Hawkmoth outfits (one below, for other ones, click on the links!)

that "fucking peppermint tie & bright red pants (below)

the all-white skin-tight suit with pointy shoes" (below)

triangle hair which he often hides under a shiny bald cap

villain costumes that he creates for others

On the right, Carlos the Scientist is joining the competition, with his husband having already been sweeping quite a lot! Why was he nominated (again)? To quote:

"While not nearly as horrid as his husband's fashion, this guy literally has labcoats for everything, including specific running labcoats, formal/semi-formal labcoats, and hiking labcoats, AND if I remember right I think he wore a labcoat at his wedding"

[girl-in-the-library]

It's quarter after 1 in the morning, there's a Tumblr Sexyman Poll, and it's MY turn to talk about Welcome to Night Vale.

I listened to WtNV back when it first came out, through the first three or four years. I took a break, then caught up again just after the 100th episode. Then I took ANOTHER break... and caught up last year on episode 210, right before they went on break for July 2022. Now I'm behind again by a half a year.

I say that in order to make the point that I am, more or less, STILL listening to Night Vale, 10 Years Later.

Welcome to Night Vale is extraordinary. Much like Cecil did with Carlos, I listened to the first episode and I fell in love, instantly.

There have been some amazing plot lines and some not so good ones. Some great reoccurring characters and some who are boring. Some earworm weather songs, some drop dead funny jokes, and some deep, true, heartfelt love.

I remember literally SCREAMING when Cecil came back, holding a cat.

I cried at Carlos and Cecil's wedding.

"Death is the end only if you believe the story is about you"

"Alligators. Can they kill your children? Yes."

...I can't think of more quotes at this exact moment but this represents the dichotomy well.

I love Night Vale. The small desert town where the lights twinkle overhead as we all pretend to sleep.

And all of us will wait together, in the rain, for a bus that comes every month twice a month, until there is no longer a bus to wait for.

And that bus will take us to Night Vale.

[valena-nedela]

Huntokar, the Destroyer (Pathfinder Deity)

An obscure and peculiar deity, Huntokar is known only through her holy text, a thin volume that bears her name and, supposedly, was originally a recording of her own words. Notably, there is no one official version of the text, and ruminations, anecdotes, embellishments, and folk wisdom added by her followers have accumulated over time such that each copy is likely unique. The only portion of the text that remains untouched and consistent is what is known as “The Confession of Huntokar”, which is held to be the actual words of the goddess.

The Confession also stands out among deific texts. Rather than being a collection of teachings, praise for her glory, or a recounting of her accolades, the Confession is a somber account of Huntokar’s failure to protect her original followers, the mistakes she made in her ignorance and hubris, and the catastrophic consequences of her actions. As such, her modern followers do not treat the text as commands to follow, but instead a lesson to be learned — though several of Huntokar’s remarks in the course of telling the story are treated as commandments of a sort, such as “Intentions never matter” or “No action is without consequence.”

Due to the communal and varied nature of the text of Huntokar, the teachings and practices of her cults differ. However, a few common themes are generally shared among her followers.

Actions should be judged by outcomes.

Perfection does not exist. The continual improvement of ourselves, our community, and our environment are more important than seeking perfection.

Face reality and accept the truth, no matter how painful either of those things may be.

Our bonds with one another are the foundation of our existence. Value those bonds that give you strength.

A life that merely continues is worth nothing. For a life to have value it must be one worth living.

 Descriptions of Huntokar are nearly as varied as the lessons of her faith, but a few things stay consistent. She is always shown as a woman in robes, though some depictions have her robes worn and tattered, some have them simple yet finely made, and others show them made in a primitive manner using hides and furs, or even formed from natural elements like vines. In some depictions, she has the head of a deer. In others, a wolf's head with the horns of a stag. At times, either version is depicted as a mask, either of bone or hide.

A few of Huntokar’s most faithful claim that the goddess creates elaborate charts and diagrams in the sky, which clearly show her guidance, and explain the secrets of the world. Most, though, suggest those followers are just seeing something more mundane, like weird birds. This more common position holds that Huntokar only rarely communicates with her people, and that it is more important to take her story to heart and live one’s life according to her lessons. However, there are the occasional tales of strange, faceless messengers arriving with cryptic notes, or portents seen in the actions of vermin.

I wrote this up a while ago when I was bored and almost forgot about it, then stumbled upon it again and figured I'd share it.

Huntokar and her quoted dialogue is property of Welcome To Night Vale. The artwork of Huntokar is by SunnyClockwork and used without permission. I found it on the WTNV Fandom Wiki. The skull mask image is a costume piece from Attitude Studio.

[spiritofcamelot]

An inncorrect quotes collection

Scavenger hunt #9: Create an "incorrect quotes" post. (Take a set of dialogue from another piece of media and assign it to Bond characters.)

1.

Q: There’s a higher power which will judge you for your indecency. Bond: Tom Cruise?

(Easy A)

2.

Bond: Tis but a scratch! Tanner: A scratch?! You’re arm’s off! Bond: No it isn’t. Tanner: Then what’s that then?

(Monty Python and the Holy Grail)

3.

Q: Knives are not my tool. Moneypenny: It’s not hard. When the time is right, just stick the pointed end somewhere important into someone you don’t like.

(Confessor by Terry Goodkind)

4.

Eve: 006 is a werewolf? James: It’s a long story. Alec: I got bit.

(Buffy the Vampire Slayer)

5.

Q: “Bond, what are you doing with that?” Bond: “Nothing, I’ve never seen it before! I found it in my pocket.” Q: “But you did turn it on.” Bond: “Ah… yeah.” Q: “Why?!” Bond: “Because it’s… what I do.”

(Eureka)

+ 1 bonus from Welcome to Night Vale

[autistichalsin]

For the sake of some variety in your inbox, I shall present my birthday well-wishes to you in the form of a small collection of my (many) favourite Welcome to Night Vale quotes that I believe are at least semi-relevant to the occasion.

I started listening to it at the malleable age of 11 years old and it fundamentally altered my speech and thought patterns like a bone marrow transplant altering its recipient’s blood composition. I highly recommended it, if you’re not already a fan. 1000/10 comfort podcast and the first unapologetically queer piece of media I ever listened to (from episode one!! :D).

———

“Don't let numbers tell you what to do. You are blood and earth, not theory and chalk.” — @ NightValeRadio twitter account. 18/02/13

“Born? Living? Going to die some day? You may be entitled to compensation.” — @ NightValeRadio twitter account. 26/03/13

“The universe is vast. You are also vast. So is an ant. There are different sizes of infinity.” — @ NightValeRadio twitter account. 17/08/13

“One foot in the grave. Wow that thing is at least six feet deep. Is one of your legs super long?” — @ NightValeRadio twitter account. 18/06/19

———

“Proverb: Today is the last day of your life up to this point.” — Episode 11: “Wheat & Wheat By-Products”

“Sleep heavily and know that I am here with you now. The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as the gentle present. This now, this us? We can cope with that. We can do this together. You and I, drowsily, but comfortably.” — Episode 12: “The Candidate”

“We have survived all the way from birth to this very moment, and we look at each other, and some of us start laughing, and others start weeping, and one or two of us break out into a wordless humming song. And all of us mean the exact same thing. Look at us! Look at us out in the honey light of the finished day! Look at us and rejoice in our sheer being! […] You too have survived. Survived everything up to this moment.” — Episode 15: “Street Cleaning Day”

“Proverb: If I said you had a beautiful body, would it even matter because we are so insignificant in this vast incomprehensible universe?” —Episode 16: “The Phone Call”

“[…] But then you remember – I remember – that we are, even now, in another bit of molten wax. We are in a moment that is still falling, still volatile – and we will never be anywhere else. We will always be in that most dangerous, most exciting, most possible time of all: the now. Where we never can know what shape the next moment will take.” — Episode 21: “A Memory of Europe”

“But give reason a shot. It has never, not once in history worked, but it might just work this time!” — Episode 28: “Summer Reading Program”

“Are we living a life that is safe from harm? Of course not. We never are. But that’s not the right question. The question is are we living a life that is worth the harm?” — Episode 46: “The Parade”

———

There are countless others, but I’ll leave the rest of them for you to discover yourself, if that interests you. I find these quotes funny and deeply comforting (they’ve been tattooed onto the fabric of my very soul), and I hope they made you feel similarly cozy.

Happy Birthday!! 🥳 🎂🎈

Thank you!!

[icharchivist]

"Cecil isn't a tumblr sexyman" whom the fuck is Cecil? An herb??

ANON.

ANON??????????????

IS THAT A JOKE 😭😭😭

I guess only the 2013 tumblrinas (gn) know properly who Cecil is.

Cecil is the protagonist and narrator of Welcome To Night Vale, a surreal horror podcast (perhaps THE surreal horror podcast that kickstarted the trend you see those days like tma and stuff). (go listen to the Pilot, though huge warning for unreality stuff if that's a problem with you)

The show is set up to be a radio show set in Night Vale, a city where weird things happen all the time except that for the narrator, all of this is normal. Yeah of course a 5 headed dragon is running for mayor against the faceless woman who secretly lives in your house. Of course no one is supposed to go to the Dog Park. Of course everyone must give their offering to the Mighty Glow Cloud. Of course there's a ghost cat in the bathroom floating and having kittens, isn't she adorable.

One of the extremely refreshing thing about this podcast, especially in 2013, where tumblr was mostly obsessed with queerbaiting shows, is the fact that in the very first episode, Cecil meets Carlos the scientist, and immediately falls in love with him. Meaning there's a lot of episodes going "the eldritch monster camping on the highway once again committed some new incidents and people died. but that's not important. DID YOU SEE CARLOS'S HAIR? ISNT HE DREAMY?" (and they went on dates and eventually got married).

And the thing with Cecil, outside from his dreamy voice, his gay crush, and the beautiful existential sentences he could spur sometimes (“The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first and settles in as the gentle present” is one of my fav quotes), is that he was just a voice. There never was a single canon design about him.

So everyone could make their own Cecil. Everyone had their own version of him in mind, though we all somehow agreed on him wearing Night Vale's purple, and you would often see tattoos of eyes and tentacles on him (or that pushed with literally showing them off outside of his skin).

in the early 2010s on this website you couldn't go ANYWHERE without knowing about Cecil. Everyone was talking about him. Anyone who has been on this website for about ten years would talk to you fondly about their friend Cecil Palmer from the radio show.

We're discussing Tumblr sexymen. if you think tumblr sexymen just means a man tumblr finds sexy (even though it's weird), you're dead wrong. And Cecil had earned his place because HE was THE Blorbo.

On another note for you to understand exactly what it means on tumblr, you heard of Dashcon? Everyone's heard of Dashcon. Many people weren't here when Dashcon happened. I was here. One of the scam the people of Dashcon ran in order to get people from tumblr to come was to invite the wtnv's cast. However, last minute, they didn't pay them, and the condition of hosting were deplorable (the nearby hotel was stacked, and the organizator of the con didn't even pay the con's site at all, which means they locked all the teenagers who had came into the lobby to ask them to pay for the fees of the con's rent. Do you even realize how insane that is). So the wtnv crew didn't come.

But it was literally THE thing that represented tumblr enough that it ended up wrapped in this horrible scam. It was the moment. The thing that truly defined the early 10s on this website.

Of course you might think he's not a proper sexyman for tumblr (tbh i think Sans and the Once-ler are the real sexymen of this website) but Cecil has been the embodiment of the early 10s culture of this website. (and personally i think it'd be somewhat very vindicative of the website to have him become the sexyman this time).

Somehow... the way history gets lost in here i swear.

[elinormybeloved]

[Image Description: Three photos of sketchbook pages that have cut up paint chips in them, with quotes written next to them. On the first page: Next to a dark-reddish purple the quote reads, "Judas: Why did you me good enough...so that you could've loved me? Stephen Adly Guirgis". Next to a orangish-red it reads "And love isn't a fact. It's a hunch at first. And then later it's a series of decisions, a lifetime of decisions. That's love. Welcome to Night Vale". Next to a dark blueish green the quote reads, "Someone has to leave first. This is a very old story. There is not other version of this story. Richard Siken". Next to a dark pink the quote reads, "ORESTES: This was always going to happen. She's been dead since the beginning. Aeschylus". On the second page: Next to a dark yellow, "People speak of hope as if it is this delicate, ephemeral thing made of whispers and spider's webs. It's not. Hope has dirt on her knuckles, the grit of cobblestones in her hair, and just spat out a tooth as she rises for another go. @CrowsFault". Next to a brighter orangey pink, "Is that all you want to be? Liked? Wouldn't you rather be passionately and voraciously desired? Margaret Atwood". Next to a blue-green color the quote reads (with each sentence alternating in color as if it's a conversation), "What were you before you met me? I think I was drowning. And what are you now? Water. Ocean Vuong". Next to a mellow yellow, "And yet if a bee lands on my shoulder // I think I should let it stay a while, let // the wind, thick with honey, caress us. Ieva Dapkevicius". On the third page: next to a light dusty pink, "I know what I want is impossible. If I can make my language flat enough, exact enough, if I can rinse each sentence clean enough [...] if I can give myself enough white space, maybe I could do it. I could tell you this story while walking out of this story. I could - it all could - just disappear. Maggie Nelson". /end ID]

i'm sick so it's craft time <3 each quote is matched w the color it reminded me of the most out of my recently acquired lowe's paint chips

[desert-bluffs-and-me]

WTNV Quick Rundown - 30 - Dana

Join me again for a run down of lore, facts and interesting quotes, for quick catch up or reminders of cool stuff or ya know, whatever~

It takes heart. It takes guts. It also takes cash. It just needs your payment immediately. Welcome to Night Vale.

This is the debut of Jasika Nicole doing the voice of Dana Cardinal as she speaks from her place in the dog park and the world beyond it.

Dana reveals that the dog park actually goes on for a very, very long time (she also mentions tall black metal trees) and that there is another Old Oak Door in the dog park. Going through it, she finds herself in an old house.

She is at first in the basement of the house which doesn't exist, which is empty except for a picture of a lighthouse in the middle of a field. Upstairs she finds John Peters (you know, the farmer?) staring at one of many photos of different windows on the wall. He's completely unresponsive to her and so she leaves him to exit through the door he entered from in the 'kitchen'.

It seems she enters NV, and Carlos and his team of scientists see her, but she ignores them and walks right through them before running off looking concerned.

Dana tells us that she actually entered a vast desert, with a mountain that has a blinking light on it somewhere. She feels something large moving under the ground but wants her mother and brother to know that she is safe. This indicates that this 'desert otherworld' both is and isn't still a place/a part of NV/our world.

According to Cecil, Carlos chews 'a little more loudly than is preferred'.

It's $5 for a taco lunch at Jerry's Tacos.

But as the old saying goes, "If wishes were horses, those wishes would all run away, shrieking and bucking, terrified of a great unseen evil."

WEATHER: "The Lethal Temptress" by The Mendoza Line, http://misrarecords.com/artists/the-mendoza-line

Pamela announces for the fourth time that she's stepping down as mayor later that year. She claims it's not because she's being forced to step down, but a single red tear streaks down her olive cheek onto her clay-stained smock.

The Night Vale SPCA says that dogs are not only great family companions but also help childhood development. 'By regularly feeding, walking, fighting, denying the existence of, and ultimately soul-merging with the family dog, young children learn about responsibility, empathy, and pyrokinesis. There are, of course, some breeds of dogs that are not right for children. Those breeds include: Spider Wolves, Double Wolves, Switchbladed Mountain Dogs, Secret Terriers, Flesh-eating Spaniels, Pit Vipers, and Table Saws.'

The Pine Cliff football team is called the PCHS Lizard Monitors. The football starts with a NV versus PC game. Michael Sandero had surgery to remove his second head but his mother, Flora Sandero (who has a Boston accent which was requested) says she actually had the original head removed because the new head is much more handsome and doesn't talk back as much. The new head only speaks and understands Russian, so he no longer talks to his girlfriend or watches tv which only has shows in English and Spanish.

McDonald's is todays sponsor. They have interesting ideas on what 'breakfast' is. McDonald’s: I’m lovin’ it, because I am incapable of anything else.

When Cecil tries to call Dana back, his thumb is sliced by something and his phone briefly sets on fire.

Stay tuned next for loud, short-wave radio squelches followed by a lifetime of tinnitus. Good night Night Vale. Good night.

Proverb: Look to the sky. You will not find answers there, but you will certainly see what everyone's screaming about.

[littlebetesofeverything]

Welcome to Night Vale ep. 2

Alright, dinner time break today. I really liked the first one I promise, I just had to study a little extra. So here we go!

Yeah, yeah we live in a desert so 'snow' isn't real. We've all heard that one.

Radon canyon? i love that idea lol.

Glowing clouds in different colors sounds amazing. and only one death? that doesn't seem too bad. (I love the suggestion from the secret police)

The post office had a 'great screaming'? just a little creepy message made of blood too, nothing special.

Awww, the hovering cat sounds cute. "it becomes perfect when you learn to accept it for what it is" I didn't know this show was dropping the quotes too. Can we name the cat Socrates?

This ad sounds so soothing, I can't believe it's for Coke.

Cops asking questions? Yeah you better act normal. Narrator has the right idea here.

Boy Scouts suck (Girl Scout here), but the hierarchies sound awesome.

Raining small creatures? wait they are dead, wtf!! They have an animal pyre???

Glow cloud pt 2, helping teach colors for a day.

A 5 headed dragon is real and committing insurance fraud. I kinda want to move here now ngl. Oof the commentary here is not thick lol. I love the stop sign immunity offer but I never snitch

Forget the library? even for a day, I revoke the want to move here.

What kinds of consequences for the dots?? I want answers

The music lessons sound like fun, the bake sale not so much. Can my Wednesday be cancelled too?

glow cloud pt 3, it is now covering the town. Wait, is that the same cloud that is raining dead animals? I have two minds on this now. I think the narrator is possessed...

Again, the song is a banger. enough said

Looks like the narrator is back to normal but the vanilla smell has replaced the last segment. Love that for him(?)

okay, can we have one deep quote per episode? This was not in the description and the existentialism is not in my schedule please

And a good night to you to narrator. Wait is his name Cecil? Thank you credits. Another good episode IMO, and the quotes are hardcore. Looking forward to more, but it's now time to get ready for the night and school week.

[cyberpawn-arc]

‘are we gonna end up in a documentary?’ FROM MUTT!

The Quarry Starters    

    “Babe. I’m about to blow your mind. I was technically on TV before! And technically it was a docuseries!” V beamed with pride and puffed out their chest, ceremoniously pointing a thumb at themself. “Sure, yeah, the docuseries was just another episode of NCPD Lock-Up where you just watch the pigs cruise around and talk for a few hours before doin’ any actual work, but I was on an episode! It wasn’t even one of my good shenanigans either, I got in trouble for “vandalism” because I was “defacing private property” or whatever that’s s’posed to mean!”

    Vale shrugged, adding air quotes to the charges they faced that night. “All I did was key Kaoru Fujioka’s ride and spray paint some creative swears on it! That’s honest work for someone like me!” Leaning against Mutt, Vale gave another sigh of delight.

    “So, yeah, judgin’ by the amount of Media followin’ us around today, odds are they’re doin’ a thinkpiece about sexy couples in Night City and they just had to get a scoop on us. Welcome to television!”

[seroqueldreamer]

I posted 193 times in 2022

That's 120 more posts than 2021!

113 posts created (59%)

80 posts reblogged (41%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@staralignments

@mikoriin

@bulkhummus

@talisman975

@thedarkwizardisaevillizard

I tagged 153 of my posts in 2022

Only 21% of my posts had no tags

#the owl house - 30 posts

#our flag means death - 18 posts

#poets of tumblr - 18 posts

#star poetry - 18 posts

#poetry - 18 posts

#my poetry - 18 posts

#ofmd - 14 posts

#personal - 10 posts

#stede bonnet - 9 posts

#welcome to night vale - 9 posts

Longest Tag: 107 characters

#ohhh! yeah. and there isn't even any venom in them! how will they use their earrings as functional weapons!

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

The Definition of Insanity is to do the same thing over and over, expecting different results.

Belos screamed in rage, over the last betrayal of the Golden Gaurd. What was this... 22 now? Why do they keep betraying him? Belos understood nothing and yet everything.

"Oh, Emperor Belos! What's wrong? Did you break another one? You're having fun!" The Collector jeered.

"Collector. Why do they keep betraying me?! What am I doing wrong?! I protect them, care for them, and give them high ranking! They still betray me!" Phillip screams, curse taking over, thrashing loudly, chipping away brick and stone in the castle.

Lunation giggles childishly. "A word of advice?" Lunation asks.

"Anything! I can't keep fucking failing!" Phillip howls.

"Separation is the only form of care needed for loyalty. Isolation will consistently beat out the need for connections." The Collector giggles, disappearing into the floor beneath the portal.

"Yes, I think that would be quite correct. I will call this one... Hunter. Attempt 23 will not fail, it will not." Phillip smiles, eyes glowing a hazy blue, mania in his features.

93 notes - Posted April 25, 2022

#4

*screams*

NOOOOO. BASTARDS. STEDE YOU FUCKER. YOU DUMBASS. EDWARD. YOU BASTARD. HEART BROKEN BITCH. HE'S COMING B A C K. IZZY SHOULDA FUCKIN... THE MUTINY SHOULDA SUCCEEDED. FUCK. NOW LUCIUS IS GONE. MOTHER FUCKERS. THIS HURT MY FEELINGS. FUCKING DUMBASSES. DUMB OF ASS. MORON. MAN'S CRANIUM IS FUCKING DUMMY THICK.

132 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

#3

Dumb little quote floating around in my head.

Darius: Ugh. Go! Go do sport!

Hunter: Hooray! Hooray for sport!

135 notes - Posted May 2, 2022

#2

Hunter: So we've been dating for 3 and a half years- Can I still make fun of you with my friends?

Willow: Sure, but just don't say I'm bitch and that you don't like me.

Hunter: Wow! The bar is so much lower than I could've ever imagined! That's it?

Hunter, later: Also, I wouldn't say that! What kind of boyfriend would I even be? Like, 'Hello! My girlfriend is a bitch and I don't like her!' That's like a support group for men in crisis, with keynote speakers like Phillip Wittebane and Alador Blight. Also, I would never say that, not even as a joke, that my girlfriend is a bitch and I don't like her! My girlfriend is a bitch and I like her so much!

Amity, recording this and sending it to Willow: Simp.

141 notes - Posted May 8, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Abby Palmer-Carlsberg is relentlessly and hopelessly in love with Steve Carlsberg and will regularly cat-call him when she sees him in public. She also flirts with him with a rampant undercurrent of lust, purely to fuck with Cecil on purpose.

Cecil thinks it's absolutely disgusting and gags every time it happens before proceeding to make out with Carlos in public to counteract his sister's disgusting display of affection and if Abby tries to say anything he's like, "Abby?! My own sister? Home of phobic? You're gonna get canceled, Abby! I'm going to cancel you, on-air!" He doesn't, but Abby laughs every time and texts him while he's on-air with 'I thought you were going to cancel me. Do it next time, Coward.'

Steve is just happy to be there honestly. He thinks his wife's antics are endearing.

156 notes - Posted March 25, 2022

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