#Access Code Zero
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My God they really hate everyone who isn't a straight cis white guy so fucking much.
(Source: Politico)
#When Republicans talk about DEI this is what they mean. It's just a code-word. It's a dog whistle. It's not about 'fairness' or 'merit.'#It was being bitter about a world that dared tried to make straight white men NOT the center of the universe.#It was resentment at being *REMINDED* that other people exist#that a small amount of resources and attention are being afforded to them#It's all based on the foundational myth that if anyone NOT in the privileged race and class#gets a job or attention or money or any recognition of any kind then it wasn't *EARNED*#Their problems are overblown - their push for equality mocked as ''special rights''#their requests for reasonable accommodations and equal accessibility called ''lazy' or ''coddling'' or too much of a hassle#their meager representation ''forced'' by nebulous ''elites'' and treated with disdain at best - open hostility at worst#All predicated on the belief - of course - that straight white men are not the beneficiaries of any kind of system#That their every accomplishment was 100% earned by them with zero help from anyone#and God help anything who even thinks of suggesting otherwise#It is a ugly concoction of brittle ego and naked prejudice#this is their world#And part of their inflated sense of power and entitlement comes from telling us how much we don't matter#that alone should tell you how fragile and pathetic they are#Trump Administration#Human Rights#Womens' Rights#LGBTQ Rights#Queerphobia#Sexism#Ableism#DEI
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Going through a straight up comical amount of irritating situations to get the stupid 4* guaranteed ticket from the welcome to sekai campaign. It Will Be Mine.
#I’m resuming this tomorrow it’s been hours now I’m just mad#I’m home because my parents are moving to a different state and I needed to pack whatever was left#and for some reason we just keep old devices when we’re done with them#so I borrow an adapter to allow me to connect my ancient unworking iPad mini to my laptop#factory reset it. i have to reset an old email to access the old Apple id to fully reset it.#it won’t connect to the wifi so I have to reset the settings. i find out it’s too old to run pjsk.#i find an old phone that should work. i reset it as well. I’m able to download pjsk & it takes 20 minutes.#pjsk crashes everytime I try to open it. i attempt to run bluestacks on my computer. bluestacks doesn’t have 64 bit for mac yet.#i get a free trial of parallels and download windows onto my laptop. this takes 40 minutes.#i try to download and run bluestacks on that. m1 macs apparently can’t run bluestacks 64 bit through parallels.#i go find the final old phone that I had forgotten about. it takes forever to charge because the charging port is fucked up. i reset it as#well. it can’t connect to wifi. i try a hotspot on my current phone. service is too awful. i try to do wifi sharing from my laptop.#you have to be connected to the router via a cable for that to work.#at this point it has been like 3 hours. I’m giving up because I’ve been down this route before#when I attempted to run 32 bit steam games on m1 mac#(wine64 doesn’t exist for m1 macs yet -> attempt to run boot camp -> boot camp isn’t a thing anymore on Apple silicon -> attempt to run#several different programs that allow me to run windows on a mac. none of them work. ->#look into linux & give up. -> attempt to implement the unfinished/unbottled wine64 code thru terminal. ->#fuck up and delete some important file & have to fix that (misery inducing) -> keep trying. i think I downloaded a Mac coding program at#some point? i realize I have zero coding knowledge and this is a mistake. -> give up and purchase crossover. game doesn’t even work. ->#3 months later update to the latest OS so I can have enough storage to play psychonauts 2. find out the $60 crossover#purchase was a bad idea because ‘heehee crossover doesn’t work on that buy the new version’ (fuck crossover).#my toxic trait is my belief that I can figure out anything via google and sheer stubbornness. usually this is true. occasionally there are#exceptions to this rule. most of them are because owning Apple products is a mistake.#i think if I reset the router tomorrow I can solve this problem but I can also just go elsewhere with better service or wait until I’m home#now it’s a matter of pride. and also free 4*/I have nothing better to do because I’m stuck here until Tuesday.#<- this is all normal behavior by the way. who doesn’t spend 8 hours ramming their head against a problem every once and a while. enrichment#mine#oh I forgot. i also looked into cloning the app but that would cost money for something that might not even work.#‘just log out and make an alt’ and risk losing my account? I’m stupid enough to overwrite it on accident.
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You know a world where your ability to carry something is determined by quantity rather than size or weight is very easy to accept in a video game, because of mechanical convenience, but would probably be so strange in a story in any other medium, and I think a few more books and shows could stand to get a little funkier with the fundamentals of their reality like that.
#just casually make a setting that functions different on a fundamental level#this is genuinely my favourite thing about minecraft fics is the absolutely alien setting#that gets treated very casually and with a 'thats just how the world works' mentality#people can exist in multiple worlds and the code that makes them them can be accessed and casually altered#and no one has any ethical problems with admins doing so#there is a clear and defined divide between players and mobs on all levels except emotional#but also players treat their own body as a toy the change and throw around because death means nothing#minecrafts a good one for it because the game has zero story its just a playground for creativity#but i think about final fantasy where entire skillsets are contained in some item or clothing and swapped between#or gta where it costs money to come back to life#theres plenty of media that explores the idea of lives or retries as a mechanic and a story element#but what about the fact that man made objects being and inherent part of the reality to where#a fundamental function such as peoples lives can be restored by paying money#not in a theres a god of greed sense but in a thats just how reality works#a lot of these things get placed on a godlike being when they do pop up and i think thats the boring route#let your setting just function different beyond magic being present#have the characters world and thus mindset be alien
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.havign lots of thoughts about how npcs are portrayed learning about the nature of their universe in works
#.most of the feelings were thrown onto evan since like. i dunno feels like a lot of the works like that write the npcs as fi the npcs-#.are actually people from outside the game transported into the game and have points of refrence about this whole thing and react how ''rea#.people'' would react to learning that they were inside a video game#.when really the npcs would prolly react closer to just going yea okay. since that's their world. they have no other world. that's their#.universe. and now they ave a little bit more info about their own universe#.yea they could have an existencial crisis if they knew what it means but also like#.''ooooh that means that i'm not real'' uhm. yea they are. they still are. that world is real from their perspective and continues to be#.real even after the learn about this#.from OUR perspective they aren't! but from theirs? yea! they are!#.also it9 s not like they would instantly know everything about how video games work even if they had no prior knwledge of that#.why would they try to change the fact that they're made out of lines of code#.that's like being mad and wanting to change the fact that they're made out of atoms#.except in their case it's ones and zeros in a computer#.PLUS!!!!!!!!! IN SOME CASES!!!!!!!!!! MAYBE THEY DONT EVEN KNOW WHAT VIDEO GAMES OR COMPUTERS ARE!!!!!!!!!!#.IT ALL DEPENDS ON WHAT SORT OF WORLD THE VIDEO GAME PORTRAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#.IF THE WORLD HAS COMPUTERS IN THERE THEN THEY KNOW A LITTLE BIT MORE!#.IF THE WORLD IS MEDIVAL THEY WOULDN'T FUCKING KNOW SHIT!#.once again pointing at evan and how we threw bunch of our feelings about this onto her#.since like he grew up in a world post combine invasion and like. technoglogy isn't really the best#.like barely anyone has any access to it other than the combine and all that jazz#.so she doesn't know what video games are. maybe has heard of what computers are#.she learned about being in a video game but to him that's the same as learning how our solar system travels through the galaxy and physics#.it's just another little detail about the world thta may explain some things. or maybe it doesn't#.when facing with her code she sees it as her dna. yea she's reading it but she deson't understand a thing in it#.maybe some fragments maybe not#.just like how everyday people wouldn't know how to interpert dna if they already haven't studied about that subject#.and when him getting corrupted. she doesn't know what happened. he just knows that something did. but she can't do anything about it#.and instead just learn how to navigate the world with more difficulties#.like how one would with a pernament injury
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codename: nightingale- auld acquaintances
reference: young justice season 1 episode 26
wc: 10.3k
synopsis: well shit gets real, conner yeets ng and robin, all while, ng reminds us why she’s the best, and the otp(s) get their shit (collectively and respectively) together
main masterlist
codename: nightingale series masterlist
a/n: I CANNOT BELIEVE I DID IT. you guys and your support have carried me though this process and the many YEARS it took me to get to this point. I have loved writing this since the beginning and I still do. Thank you for loving this story and the characters as much as I do. Enjoy!
MOUNT JUSTICE
December 31st, 03:12 EST
The cave was quiet as you zeta’d in. You’d only managed a few hours of sleep before you woke up in a fit. Ollie’s penthouse was silent though. And a quick check through the security system told you no one but you was home, in fact no one had come home, since you had. The team had made the decision to host a debrief at 0730, the next day, allowing everyone (mostly you) to recenter.
Given that the penthouse was empty, you decided to head to the cave early, if you were lucky, you’d be able to check the logs and see if Ollie, Dinah, and Roy were still up in the Watchtower or not.
“Recognized: Nightingale b-14,” the computer’s voice echoed in the darkness of the cave, and a couple of light flickered on in response.
“Computer, pull Zeta logs for the last 24 hours to the Watchtower, Nightingale Access delta echo charlie zero six,” you call out your code after a brief look assures that you’re the only one around.
“Access Denied,” the computer’s response throws you off guard as you pull up a screen, but you’re treated to a red screen.
“Under who’s authority?”
“Designation 0-2.”
“Batman?” you whisper the answer to yourself, but you can’t understand why. You’ve had access to the Watch Tower logs since Ollie and Dinah told you about the tower. You couldn’t get there without them, but you could access the logs to see who’s there currently, and you could usually see the calendar to know when Dinah and Ollie were scheduled.
“Computer, Canary Override: charlie romeo yankee seven eight nine three,” you attempt.
“Override denied.”
“What? Why?”
“Override denied per designation A-0-4.”
“A-0-4? Who is A-0-4?”
“Access Denied.”
“Oh, fuck’s sake!” you shout.
“Perhaps yelling at our computer system is not the best use of your limited time to rest?” a new voice interrupts.
You frown as you turn to look at Kaldur, “it won’t let me access the Watch Tower logs,” you huff, pointing at the red message glaring back at you.
“Why are you looking to access the logs?” he asks, brows furrowed as he looks between you and the screen.
“No one came home last night, K. I needed- I wanted- I just need to talk to Dinah, after everything that happened? I just wanted Dinah or Ollie, and they weren’t home. I passed out on the couch waiting, and when I woke up, they still hadn’t come back. I just wanted to see if they were still there,” you explain.
Kaldur’s lips pull into a frown, “They may be pre-occupied, the League, as you know, better than most, can be demanding, even at the best of times, and with the best of offers,” he states.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” you defend, sensing his double meaning.
“You mean to tell me, my King is but a liar?” he challenges.
You’re quiet for a moment, Kaldur knew better than anyone, just how much you respected King Orin, “what did he say, exactly?”
“That you were also accepted into the League, that you were by far the best candidate off all those who were inducted, and yet, you were the only one who has said no to date,” he admits.
Your voice is quiet as you look at your friend, before you sigh, “how long have you known?”
“Since the meeting in November.”
“You didn’t say anything…”
“Neither did you, I decided it’d be best to follow your lead. You would have said something when you were ready to,” he shrugs.
“I’m not ready. I don’t feel ready, to be there, at that level,” you explain.
“You owe me no explanation, old friend. I have always had faith in your decisions, I won’t start questioning them now,” he assures you.
“Thanks, K,” you sigh. “Did he really say I was the best candidate?”
Kaldur smiles knowingly, and gently places a hand on your shoulder, “Come, M’gann stress baked cookies last night upon our arrival. We can indulge in those while we watch something?”
“Yes, please.”
You both got settled on the green sofas with a plate of cookies on the coffee table before you, and two mugs of tea. You were flipping through the available options when Kaldur spoke up again.
“I watched when you were barely in double digits trying to learn how to sort through your feelings and emotions,” he began and your grip on the mug tightened, while your hand with the remote dropped. “I watched as you turned it into a motivator, a strength. I watched how you learned to center yourself and be objective, even with only a decade beneath you. What you feel now, how you feel now, might be stronger, but you know how to utilize that, you know how to sort it. But until you can, until you’re able and ready, I hope you know I will be here to temper it. Just as I was before,” his tone is firm, as he expresses himself.
Slowly your gaze moves to him, and you take him in. This Kaldur was nearly an adult, he had given up the Conservatory, and trained with King Orin. This Kaldur taught you Atlantean, he helped you learn how to open yourself to magic.
“Kaldur…”
“We used to spar, do you remember? You were so full of rage and I remember the Queen sending me to spar with you one day. Garth and Tulla thought it would be unfair, they thought that with my age, my size, my magical and home advantage, you would be unable to compete. Fitting, that you knocked me down in mere minutes, despite being slowed by the water, despite being in a new place, despite your age and size. It was then that we all realized that you hold so much raw power, much more than you ever seemed to realize yourself.”
“You’d think you would’ve learned your lesson after Wally,” you scoff, sniffing to yourself and recalling the first time you met the boys.
“Oh, I did. Which is why I asked for you to be included in our studies, it’s why you studied with me, specifically, at the conservatory. You needed an outlet, then. So, you studied with us, trained with us, and despite not being naturally adept at magic, despite being out of your element, you held your own, you beat us several times. You mastered skills quicker than we ever did. You needed the distraction, to let go of all that you had been forced to carry at such a young age. I just hope you can trust me to help you with that again.”
“You were my first true friend, Kaldur’ahm. I had Roy, but he had always been introduced as a brother, you were a friend. You saw me, the realest version of me, rageful, angry, upset, scared, all of the negative emotions and you still decided that you would help me. You have always looked out for me, and you have always had my trust,” you’re resolute in your answer, no one had supported you through the hard parts like Kaldur had, because he was right. He had seen you at your angriest, he’d watched you fight as an outlet, seen you train yourself to the brink of exhaustion just to be free of the rage, even for a minute, and instead of telling you that you were wrong for your methods, he instead offered you new outlets, new opportunities. He lent you his strength and stability when you had none.
“I am honored to hold that title, my bird. We made a promise, you remember? A piece of our histories intertwined,” he states, smiling at you as he tugs a gold chain from under his shirt. Your gaze lingers on it for a moment before dropping to the ring you’d been subconsciously fidgeting with.
The ring that had allowed you to breathe underwater, the one that allowed you to live in Atlantis as if you were an Atlantean yourself, it was obviously special. But what made it so treasured was not the gift it gave, it was the who the gift was from. The ring had belonged to Kaldur’s mother. It had been she, who when King Orin asked for a volunteer, a home for the girl from the dry world, had stepped forward. She had opened her home, and had offered the ring to be enchanted for you. She became your advocate while you lived in Atlantis, she treated you like you were one of her own. When it was finally time for you to return to your home, over a year later, she had told you to keep the ring, “I’d always hoped to pass this ring to a daughter,” she’d said, and you cried as you hugged her one last time.
On Kaldur’s first trip to visit you, merely a month after you’d gone back to Star City, you’d given him a chain. It had belonged to your father, and he’d worn it his whole life. Something that had been gifted to him when he was young from his father, who got it from his father before him. There’s a small pendent that hangs, your family’s crest, just like on your ring, they were a set technically.
You’d managed to enchant the item with your limited ability just in time for Kaldur’s first visit. “It’s meant to be passed to sons. I’d really like it if our histories were intwined. If I’m going to carry such a meaningful part of yours and your mom’s history, then I’d really like if you were to carry this of mine.” As far as you know, he hadn’t taken it off since you gave it to him almost three years ago.
The frown reappears on your lips as you look at the chain, and then at Kaldur. “Sometimes… I wish I was still there. It was easier living with you. There were no secret machinations, just you and me, and Garth and Tulla. I- I was hurting, I know that, but-”
“I understand,” he promises and you can’t help but let out a watery laugh.
“Of course you do. You’re Kaldur’ahm, no one ever seems to understand me as well as you do,” you smile.
“Rest, my friend, you have earned it. Our debrief with the Batman is 0730, however, I suspect he will be here early.”
“0700?” you ask.
“See you then,” he promises, tossing you a pillow and a blanket.
“Thanks, K, for everything,” you smiled, plopping back.
“Anytime, my friend, anytime.”

MOUNT JUSTICE December 31st, 06:30 EST
When you wake up again, it’s to Conner staring down at you with a quirked brow.
“Shit, Conner, why are you just staring at me like that?” you groan rubbing at your eyes.
“I wasn’t expecting to see you yet,” he admits, one hand rubbing at his neck.
“Yeah, I came earlier this morning. Canary and GA were at the Tower all night long. K, sat with me for a while.”
“Well, since you’re here… maybe we can talk about-”
“About your dad?” you ask, staring up at the roof of the cave.
“Don’t. Please don’t call him that. There's so much to figure out, but he’s not… not my dad,” you haven't turned back to him yet, but you can hear the tension in his tone.
“Genetic Donor then?” you offer turning back to him with a lazy smirk before adjusting yourself to lean against the arm of the sofa, tucking your legs beneath you.
“Genetic Donor works,” he sighs, sitting down in the now empty space on the sofa with you.
It’s silent for a minute as you both process, and then you're giggling. Conner’s eyes blow wide, as he stares at you. You cant help yourself though. Your giggles soon turn to full blown laughs, tears forming in your eyes.
“NG… nightingale… (y/n)!” Conners tone grew increasingly harried with each call to you.
“I’m sorry, I- I just… he killed my parents. I’m an orphan… be-because of Lex fucking Luthor, and he’s the only reason you're even here. He’s the reason I’m here!” you’re still laughing.
It has to be some sort of break, your mind finally deciding it's had enough.
That's when the laughs trail off, and you're left with tears.
You stop heaving and you take a deep breath, everything grows silent, you shut your eyes and center yourself. When you open your eyes you're staring at Conner again.
“I don't know how to fix this,” he admits.
You offer him a weak smile as your shoulders droop, “you can't,” you relent and Conner sags back into the sofa too.
“What now?” he asks.
“We be honest with each other, and the team. You and me, we're bonded by something now. I didn't realize it when we freed you from your pod, or when you helped us escape, but we are.”
“Allies against Lex?” he offers, holding out his hand.
“Allies against Lex,” you confirm, shaking his hand.
A not so innocent piece of you takes advantage and reads his emotions. You're reassured by the feelings of honesty, compassion, and belonging. You stare at Conner for a moment before letting go of his hand.
“What time is it?” you ask, stretching out a bit.
“You have about 15 until debrief.”
“Okay, thanks,” you sigh, standing up.
“I’ll see you in the cortex?” he asks, standing up as well.
“Yeah,” you confirm before heading to the locker room.
You're all standing in a line when Batman finally zetas in. You hadn’t had a chance to talk to Rob, or anyone else from the team about yesterday before he arrived.
He starts by asking for a rundown of events. Which we oblige. We explain everything from start to finish, the reveals, the truths, the plan for Santa Prisca. Everything leading up to the moment of Lex Luthor’s escape.
And when all of that is said and done you swallow your fears down hard before stepping forward, “Additionally, after defeating Bane with Robin and Zatanna, when I became aware of Luthor’s escape-”
“She was a little upset, which I’d argue is completely warranted considering everything we found out yesterday,” Wally cuts in, interrupting you before you can admit to how you lost control.
“Yes, but-” your second attempt is interrupted as well.
“Which is why we would like to request that the development of a case against Luthor be a Team priority,” Robin’s the one to cut in this time, proffering an official request on behalf of the team.
You risk a glance at the Team, and you don’t need M’gann’s abilities to understand what they're trying to say. So you shut up, and step back in line, waiting for Batman’s response to the debrief as well as the request.
He doesn't say anything for a minute, and then Kaldur is stepping in, “We have reason to feel proud of yesterday's victories. But one thing has not changed,” he alludes.
“Somehow, the bad guys are still getting intel about us,” Robin offers.
“Yeah, but at least we know none of us are the mole,” Wally counters.
For the first time that morning Batman finally speaks up, “That's correct,” he confirms, and he does so with serious conviction.
You want to be reassured by his confirmation, but something about the whole briefing was throwing you off, and it wasn't the discussion of Luthor.
“The mole,” he begins again, “was Red Arrow.”
Theres a brief silence as Roy’s image is displayed before everyone explodes.
“Roy?” Robin repeats disbelievingly.
“No way!” Wally’s voice had pitched up in his rebuttal.
You on the other hand, felt as the first of the strings holding you up snapped. Kaldur places a hand on your shoulder as if he knew, before turning back to the Dark Knight, “Batman, that cannot be. He was Green Arrow's protégé. We have all known him for years.”
“Unfortunately, the Roy Harper we have known for the last three years is another Project Cadmus clone,” Red Tornado explains.
You have to fight to catch your breath, this couldn’t be happening. You’d known Roy longer than that, you would've realized!
“We've learned the real Speedy was abducted and replaced soon after becoming Green Arrow's sidekick,” Batman explains and you finally step forward.
“No,” the seriousness of the word echoes in the cave. “I’ve known Roy longer than that, its been way more than three years! I would have noticed if CADMUS had substituted my own brother in front of me!” your argument is urgent, something had to be wrong.
“Unless they took a self fabricated opportunity to substitute the clone in a time of chaos. Where Speedy’s patrol partner and closest confidant was… gone?” Batman paints a picture but you're so hyper-focused on the Roy of it all you miss what he’s hinting to.
Theres a sharp intake of breath behind you, when you turn you see Kaldur, his eyes wide as he stares at you, “You came to Atlantis almost four years ago, you were gone from the surface world for over a year…” he reminds you, and you feel another string snap.
“No.”
“You said everyone seemed different, you were different, you were re-adjusting, it’d be reasonable to assume you wouldn't have noticed,” Kaldur’s tone is soft.
“No! Don't you understand?” you shout, turning to the team. “If that's true, it means the riot where they escaped was planned, they meant to cause a distraction, to throw us off guard so that they could switch-”
“Switch their Roy for ours,” Wally finishes, green eyes full of remorse on your behalf.
“And they waited almost year to put that into action, capitalizing off of the disarray of Star City's heroes,” Artemis tacks on.
“I would have noticed!” you argue, voice cracking as you try to reign in your emotions.
“The clone was pre-programmed with a drive to join the Justice League,” Batman intervenes, continuing to provide the information he had at hand. “Which is why he was so angry over any delays to his admission and why he refused to join the Team. This Roy Harper had no idea he was a clone or a traitor. And his subconscious programming drove him to become League-worthy. So he struck out on his own as Red Arrow.”
Your head was spinning, heart beating so fast and loud in your ears, it was a miracle you were still standing up. Something was wrong, something had to be wrong. Where was Dinah and Ollie? If this were true they’d come to tell you in person, they would. How could Ollie have not noticed? How could Dinah? Something had to be wrong.
“When he was finally admitted, his secondary programming kicked in and he attempted to betray the League to Vandal Savage.”
Your stomach flipped, Savage?
“Fortunately, I had already deduced Red Arrow was a clone. We were prepared.”
He had what?!
“I think I’m gonna be sick,” you whisper, Conner and Kaldur seem to be the the only two who hear you as they offer you mildly concerned expressions.
“Savage was subdued but Red Arrow escaped. He is now a fugitive, armed and dangerous,” Red Tornado continues.
“If you guys hadn't rescued me from CADMUS...” Conner trails off, eyes jumping from me to Kaldur.
“What happened to the real Roy?” Rob’s the one to voice the question and your heart stutters. Real Roy as if the one you'd known since your return wasn't real in some way. They were both real, at least they were to you.
“We don't know. He isn't at Cadmus. We have to face the possibility that the real Roy Harper is dead.”
You can't stop it. The bubble of grief, pain, and guilt. It bursts out of you, and of course Kaldur’s the one to catch it. His hand lands heavily on your shoulder, and you take deep breaths to center yourself. They don't know, you remind yourself. He could be alive and on ice somewhere, you repeat. You're forcing thoughts of hope down your own throat, hoping something will be digestible.
The last thing you're expecting is for Robin to grab ahold of your hand, not in front of Batman, and not after yesterday’s incident. Today, however, he doesn't waver or flinch back like he had the day before, so you can't tell if he can feel what you are right now. He simply snags your hand and tightens his grasp, until you're squeezing back.
“The clone Roy. The Team will find him,” Kaldur decides, his tone leaves little space.
Yet, somehow, Batman blows it wide open, “Negative. Red Arrow's a member of the Justice League now. Leave him to us.”
There's an argument forming on your lips, but a beep from his comms forces you to shut up.
“I'm needed on the Watchtower. Tornado, stay with the kids,” Batman decides and Robins hand slackens a bit. Kids? Since when did Batman call you kids?
The zeta lights up a second later, “Recognized, Batman, zero-two.”
You turn and run to the closest bathroom, you can hear as a few people shout after you, but you’re focused on making it to the bathroom. Your knees hit the ground hard as you all but collapse and then your heaving up the little that’s in your stomach. The protein bar and cookies that Conner had swiped from the kitchen for you, the orange juice Kaldur had poured for you, and the the blueberries that you’d scarfed down as well.
There’s a hand on your back, another keeping your hair back. “Wally?” your voice is a hoarse whisper.
“It’s me,” he affirms.
You nod and close your eyes for a second before you’re heaving again.
“I got you,” he promises, gently rubbing circles into your back.
You knew that, Wally’s always got your back. You know he probably didn’t hesitate to chase after to you, and that he most likely told everyone else to stay back. “I would have noticed,” you repeat.
“(Y/n)…”
“I should have noticed,” you say, sliding back, wiping at your mouth and leaning against the wall before turning to your friend.
“That’s not on you,” Wally argued.
“He’s my brother, my responsibility,” you shoot back.
“C’mon, let’s get you back before Rob starts panicking,” he huffs, pulling you up.
“I need to bru-” before you can finish Wally disappears and reappears with the toothbrush from your locker and a tube of toothpaste.
“Your teeth?” he asks cheekily.
You shake your head before quickly brushing your teeth. When you and Wally get back it’s to Kaldur’s awaiting stare. You offer a nod and he turns to face the rest of the team before looking back at you. He gives you a look signifying that it was your move this time, your call. Your stomach’s still unsettled but you swallow down your nerves and confusion before addressing the team.
“Clone or no clone, Red Arrow was one of us. For three years, he was ours. We will go after him, and we will figure this out, on our terms,” you decide.
You had planned to say more, but the sudden sounds from Red Tornado force you to stop. He freezes about a foot and a half away from you. Then, it's like he shut down. A sound as if he was being powered down, as the entire armor freezes, and his head tilts down.
“Tornado!” M’gann’s shout is slightly panicked.
“What happened?” Conner’s squinting.
“He's powered down,” Wally notes, tone slightly curious.
“All functions off-line,” Robins got a frown as well, analyzing Red Tornadoes stats on his wrist-computer.
“Something doesn’t feel right,” you note, staring between the stats as well as Tornado.
“Guys, I'm sensing a low-level mystic force at play. I don't know if it caused his shutdown, but… now that I think about it, I was getting the same buzz off Batman,” Zatanna admits, and your frown deepens.
“Batman,” Robin repeats. “He called us kids. He never does that.”
You step forward, analyzing every aspect of Tornado that you could, Wally comes up behind you and does the same.
“Look,” Wally’s call pulls your attention. When he straightens up you can see something in his hands, “One of those bio-tech chips we confiscated off Cheshire.”
“Nightingale is right, something is not right,” Kaldur agrees. “Robin, Kid, Zatanna, Rocket, see if you can get Tornado back online,” he directs. “The rest with me to find Ro... Red Arrow.”
The team pauses despite Kaldur’s clear instruction, and slowly they look from him, to each other, and then to you. You know why they paused, even Kaldur seems frozen as he stares at you. His decision would put you into the field, it would allow you to look for Roy, to be there when the Team finds him. Going with them would also separate you from both Wally and Dick.
You must’ve stayed silent too long, “Birdy,” Wally’s voice seemed to echo as he called out your name.
“Sorry,” you mutter, looking up. “Kaldur’s right, we.. uh, we have to split up.”
Wally and Dick look at each other and then they look at you.
“It’ll be okay,” you tell them. “I have to find him, my brother, my responsibility. Plus, who knows him better than me?”
No one has an answer and you nod.
“Suit up,” you confirm once more before the team nods, and disperses accordingly.
Wally, Dick, and Kaldur hang back. The three of them don’t speak, but they’re exchanging looks with each other and with yourself. No one says a word, but you offer a look of your own, and then roll your eyes at them. They pause and as always, Wally’s the first to crack. He throws his hands up looking at the two other boys and then gesturing to you. When that doesn’t get the response he wants, he throws his hands up again, waving them around.
You smile softly, hands coming to Wally’s shoulders. You offer a forced lopsided smile, tilting your head to the side. Wally responds by shaking his head, and you tighten your grip. You give him a pleading look, Wally’s face scrunches but he finally stares at you head on. You nod, gently and he sighs before nodding back.
You pass along a feeling of comfort, trying to make him understand that it’ll be okay.
“Yeah,” Wally confirms, before walking off.
Kaldur offers you a nod of his head and you nod back, before he walks toward the bioship.
You pause for a second and take a breath, and then there’s a hand on your shoulder and you’re hit with concern, longing, and a need to protect. You take another breath and turn to face Dick. He’s staring at you for a second, he opens his mouth and then closes it. In the end he stares at you making a closed fist with his right hand and rubs little clockwise circles on his chest. Your ASL was passable, a skill that Dinah and Ollie thought was important to learn for the streets, it seems like Bruce thought the same for Dick. Sorry, that’s what he was saying.
You know what he’s sorry for, you knew it the second he grabbed your hand. You take your right hand, rub a circle with your palm against your chest, and then with a flat hand swipe above your temple with your fingertips, I know.
He shakes his head, the barest of a smile on his lips.
You offer a soft smile at Dick one last time before walking towards the locker room. You’re quick to grab your gear, and you’re silent until your in the bioship, and in the air.
“Old friend,” Kaldur’s voice is soft inside the bioship, but you’re forced to pay attention to him regardless.
“I know what you’re going to say,” you sigh.
“Oh?”
“It’s not your fault, you couldn’t have known,” you trail off.
“Wrong,” Artemis interrupts.
“Am I?”
“Yeah, we were all going to say it,” Conner scoffed.
You soften at that.
“That’s where you’re wrong,” you say sadly.
“How so?” M’gann’s voice is as soft as it has always been.
“Because I did know, a piece of me did, at least,” you tell them, gaze focusing on the clouds as you pass them by out the window.
“What?” Conner’s accusation cuts clear.
“I knew something was wrong. I could feel it. Ever since my abilities… he would get angry, over things he never used to. I just wrote it off, I- I knew it was wrong, it felt wrong, it didn’t feel like natural anger, it was sudden, it was triggered but not by anything I could see. I should’ve said something, should’ve told someone,” you admit to them.
“You had no reason to suspect ulterior machinations,” Kaldur countered. “And though I know it bothers you, you both had grown apart since the foundation of the team.”
“Yeah,” you nod, fingers tracing over the ring dagger you’d been fidgeting with, “maybe.”

WASHINGTON, D.C. December 31st, 09:06 EST
“Logs indicate Red Arrow zeta'd to the Hall from the Watchtower,” Artemis stated, “But he could be anywhere by now, I also was only able to read the Hall logs, the Watchtower ones have been classified,” she adds on.
Kaldur clears his throat and turns to you expectantly, “So, I kind of didn’t appreciate how Roy tried to cut ties with everyone when he went solo, so I might’ve done some digging…” you trail, typing in new coordinates.
“Digging?” Conner asks.
“Okay, fine, investigating, and tailing, and the whole package pretty much. I found his main apartment, and discovered that he had installed equipment caches in several major cities,” you relent.
Conner coughs out, “stalker,” before clearing his throat, and you roll your eyes.
“One is here,” you continue as the bioship comes to a stop over an apartment complex.
“So… who’s going down, because, uh… not it,” Artemis muses weakly.
“I am,” you assure her.
“We are,” Kaldur corrects.
You nod and you both stand, you readjust your utility belt and pull a sweatshirt over the top of your suit, and then you pull your leather jacket on as well. It looks inconspicuous enough, at least as much as it would ever for your needs.
You and Kaldur drop to the roof, the access door was unlocked and you made your way down one floor. Roy had gotten an apartment on the top floor. When you come upon the door you crouch down with your lock picks, but between your latent anxiety, and the need to find Roy, your focus is slightly skewed.
“Perhaps, this is not the time for stealth?” Kaldur offers sagely.
You sigh and hang your head, hiding your lock pick tools in their place under your sleeve once again, “yeah.”
“Shall I? Or, would you like to?” he asks, gesturing to the door.
“I will,” you nod, standing back up.
You take a breath and stare at the door, and then with a heafty amount of force you kick down the door, you manage to put in enough force to rock the door off a hinge, and when it clears your vision you’re greeted by Roy holding up his bow with two arrows notched.
You notice the way his hand dips a second as he realizes it’s you he’s got an arrow focused on, “How’s it hanging, Roy?” you ask, but there’s a tough edge to your tone.
“You know, business as usual, Birdy,” he huffs out, but he retrains the arrows on you both.
“We have not come to harm nor apprehend you,” Kaldur cuts in. “But the Team requires answers-”
“Me first,” Roy interrupts. “Tell me something you haven’t told anyone else… tell me who broke your heart.”
Your jaw drops, “Roy!” your tone is more chastising than it was before. You know why it’s necessary, but it’s a low blow for Kaldur, a very low blow.
Kaldur places a hand on your shoulder, “Tula. The girl I loved chose my best friend Garth over me,” he answers, and you can hear the fight to keep his voice level. “While the man I consider by best friend on the surface world aims an arrow at my chest.”
Roy moves and suddenly both arrows are pointed at you.
“Roy-” Kaldur’s tone turned dangerous, but to your credit your eyes narrow and you tilt your chin up at him daringly.
“E.T. phone home,” Roy says, and you don’t need to touch Kaldur to feel the confusion rolling off of him.
There’s a pang in your heart, Roy, this Roy, was pulling on one of the earliest decisions you all made, code phrases. Methods to promise sanity, self, but also a warning when necessary. They were all movie phrases, famous enough to remember, but mismatched enough that no one would be able to guess. You’d both decided on them after you’d returned from Atlantis and Dinah let you return to patrol.
“Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore,” you whisper.
Roy’s entire body sags. The bow and arrows clatter to the floor as he drops to his knees, and you’re quick to drop with him. You land on your knees right in front of him.
“You’re killin’ me, Smalls,” you whisper once again to him.
“As if,” he shoots back, and you crush him in a hug.
The both of you clutch onto each other, you grip him tight just for the minute being. You hug him tight and he hugs back, and you revel in it. In it’s familiarity. He might have not been the Roy that was brought home to you, but he is the one you spent the last three years with, he is still your Roy. The one who helped you readjust to being back in Star City, the one who would drive you to school, and would tap you gently when you’d accidentally slip back into Atlantean. The one who would reassure you that life was going to be okay, who would sit beside your bed, who would hold your hand, who watched your back, he was your brother. Your brother, your responsibility.
Slowly you both re-centered, and then you hauled him up to the roof, and then all three of you were pulled back up into the bioship. It’s quiet when you’re all back.
“We’re clear,” you say quietly and there’s a collective breath let out.
Everyone settled into their seats and soon enough we were back in the air.
Kaldur doesn’t waste any time, “We were told you were the mole,” he explains and Roy puffs out a breath.
“But we have reason to doubt,” you quickly inserted.
“Forget doubt. I was the mole,” Roy states, and you let out an audible groan, staring up at the roof of the ship.
“Batman and Tornado said you’re a CADMUS clone, like me,” Conner admits.
Roy turns to look at you, and you offer a slight nod, “That explains it,” he nods with a sigh that makes him seem more tired than surprised. “I was a sleeper agent, pre-programmed to infiltrate the League…. I think Sportsmaster was my handler. He had a key-phrase, Broken Arrow… that could shut me down, put me in a hypnotic state to steal secrets for his superiors, or incorporate further programming. I'd then carry out all orders subconsciously completely unaware of what drove me.”
Roy paused and you stared back at him, “take me back?” you whisper to him and he shut his eyes and nodded once more before turning back to the rest of the team, specifically the three seated behind you.
“I think one of those orders was to focus suspicion on the three of you. I'm sorry,” he adds on.
“How did Batman discover this and prevent you from betraying the League?” Kaldur asks.
Roy pauses, and looks at you, “He didn't.”
“Fuck,” you sigh.
“Birdy,” Kaldur’s voice is level, and there’s a request in it to make sure you remain so as well.
“So what happened?” you ask, pulling yourself together.
“The entire League’s been put under mental domination via those chips you guys found,” Roy sighs, scrubbing at his face.
“The ones we got off Jade?” Artemis cut in.
“Yeah, he called ‘em Starro-tech, an alien bio-organism infused with nanotechnology and magic,” Roy explained.
“Nanotechnology and magic?” you repeat. “Artemis, in the Bayou, you said you saw-”
“Klarion, the Brain, Gorilla Mallah, and Professor Ivo,” she answers.
“If there was ever a trust that could pull something like that off…” you trail.
“What do they do? The chips?
“It shuts down the mind’s autonomy, allows the controller to reprogram the individual to suit their needs,” Roy explains.
“Wait…” Conner calls interrupting. “You said He called them, who’s he?”
Roy grimaces, looks around the ship and then straight at you, and you already don’t like where this is headed, “Savage,” he says and you don’t even make it a second before you explode.
“Are you fucking kidding me?” you shout. “VANDAL SAVAGE? WHAT THE FUCK!”
“Language,” Roy says automatically, and then he twitches, like he hadn’t meant to say it. “And I knew you weren’t going to like that.”
“But this chip, it affected everyone?” M’gann asked, and you had no doubt she was thinking about her uncle.
“This Starro-tech, it worked on super-powered humans, four flavors of alien, an android, even Doctor Fate,” Roy explained.
“Defeating all of you without a fight?” Conner asks.
“Indeed. A remarkable achievement. One not easily countered,” Kaldur points out.
“I'm sorry, but how is it that you are no longer enslaved?” M’gann’s the one to ask and your body tenses up.
“No Starro-tech, for starters. Just my CADMUS programming, and once I had satisfied its last parameter, my mind began to clear,” Roy admits. “I'm sure Savage planned to Starro-tech me, but he paused to bask… I escaped.”
You turn in your seat and look back at M’gann, urging her to understand, and luckily, she does. She nods at you with a gentle smile, “I promise, I can clean any residual programming from your mind,” M’gann says, reassuring you, despite the intention being directed at Roy.
“Linking both squads and de-camouflaging,” M’gann’s voice suddenly echoes in your head and you spot the super cycle as it moves into docking position.
“Great. Because we really need to compare notes,” Robin’s voice has an edge, and as you come face to face with him and the other half of your team, you spot Wally’s frown and notice Dinah.
“What the fuck?” your voice takes on it’s own lethal edge as your gaze jumps from your unconscious and tied up mentor to the rest of the team.
It took some time but eventually both halves of the team had been caught up, now the only think left was to figure out the next move.
“What if we reverse engineer the starro-tech?” Wally’s the one to make the suggestion and it has all of you pausing.
“Great idea, but how?” Artemis’ tone is dry but she makes a valid point.
It goes quiet and that’s when you have an idea.
“ti tha ginótan an rotoúsame ti vasílissa?" (what if we were to ask the queen?) the question echoes across the link but only one person can understand.
Kaldur blinks slowly and in a hesitant tone asks, “*Rota tin gia ti akrivos?*" (ask her for what exactly?)
Your lip quirks a bit, “*an boroúme dioikitís Giatrós V?*" (if we can commandeer Doctor V?)
You’re not sure what you were expecting but you’re not sure why you were surprised, Kaldur’s always backed your plans, “Pistévete óti o Red échei akóma ton arithmó tis Roquette?" (Do you think Red still has Roquette’s number?)
You offer a lopsided smile, “**Tha chreiastoúme óli ti voítheia pou boroúme na pároume**." (We’re gonna need all the help we can get.)
“Would someone like to clue those of us not fluent in Atlantean in?” Conner’s tone cuts through your conversation.
You share another look with Kaldur.
“It’s your plan,” he prods.
“Wally has the right idea, we have to reverse engineer the chip. We don’t stand a chance if we don’t,” you remind everyone.
“But you have a plan that will address that,” Robin realizes.
“Of course she does, when it comes down to it, our girl’s always got a plan,” Wally snorts, but by the way he scrubs at his face you realize he’s on edge.
You nod, “what do we know about the staro-tech?”
“Alien bio-organisim infused with nanotechnology and magic… what are you thinking?” Roy trails.
“I think you have the number for a nanotechnologies expert who owes us a favor, and I happen to know a few individuals who specialize in magic and science, in fact they run a whole conservatory, that teaches kids like us, well, like Kaldur,” you hint to everyone else.
“Doctor Roquette and Queen Meera,” Robin realizes.
“Alongside Doctor Vulko, who runs the Atlantean Science Center, he’s the Minister of Science for the kingdom,” Kaldur adds.
“Doctor Spence too,” Connor adds, “She worked for CADMUS, she probably can help reverse engineer the chips.”
“Which means there’s also three people we need to pick up, ASAP,” you point out.
Another silence fils the ship, Wally’s already shaking his head, and Rob’s still staring straight at you.
“We have to split up,” Rocket’s the one to state the obvious.
“Again?” Zatanna’s voice wobbles a bit.
You bite down hard on your lip to keep yourself focused.
“We have to, the quicker we get them, the quicker we fix this. We have to fix this,” you say, voice level.
“How do you want to handle it?” Robin’s the one to ask, his own voice level, but you can see the twitch in his hand.
Your lips tug down as you prepare to answer, because there’s only one possibility, “Superboy and Miss Martian will pick up Dr. Spence. Kid Flash and Robin will escort Red Arrow-” you don’t mean for your voice to crack but it does. “Will escort Red Arrow and retrieve Dr. Roquette.”
“You’ve got to be joking,” Wally’s scoff, clearly depicts what he thinks of your decision.
“Dude,” Robin’s quick to cut him off.
“And Aqualad and I will take the super cycle to go to Atlantis,” you finish. “Artemis, Zee, and Rocket will play support, and keep tabs on Canary. Please do not lose my mentor. Plus they can run background with RT.”
You’re met with silence.
“This is the plan, if someone has a better idea, speak up now, otherwise, you know what you have to do,” you swallow back the anxiety, and focus your gaze on Kaldur, you can’t look at anyone else, not right now.
You remember his words from earlier, to lean on him, and to allow him to support you. It was all so overwhelming, it’s all too much, but staring at Kaldur reminded you of the little girl who was barely 10 when she was dropped in Atlantis. The girl so full of rage she couldn’t sort through her own emotions. Kaldur knew how to help that girl center herself, taught her how to cope and handle things.
“Well if no one else is going to say it; I have some thoughts,” Wally scoffs again.
“Trust me, we know you do, Wall-Man,” Artemis’ dry tone actually puts a smile on your lips, a small quirk of a thing, but it works.
“I’m only taking constructive criticism at the moment,” you tag on, and your gaze finally flickers to Wally who is simply glaring at you.
You offer a shrug in response, and you can feel the heat of Wally’s glare, the discomfort radiating off of Dick, but you don’t have it in you right now to address it.

ATLANTIS December 31st, 13:13 EST
“Our friends are… displeased,” Kaldur notes cautiously once it’s just the two of you on the supercycle.
“I know,” you nod, and you did, you felt it in the air, rolling off your teammates, your friends, as you and Kaldur geared up to split off.
“What are you thinking, poulí?” the question weighs heavy on you.
“I am thinking that this is my only plan, K. I don’t have a back up if we should fail this time around,” you admit.
“Then it’s good we trust in your planning, old friend. Your plans have never led us astray thus far,” he muses.
“Define astray,” you scoff back, Kaldur lets a smile slip, and then a hand lands on your shoulder comfortingly.
“They believe in you, and so do I,” he reassures you. “This idea, utilizing our resources, it is a good plan.”
“Vandal Savage, Kaldur, it’s a big play we’re chancing at here,” you sigh, twisting your rings nervously.
“Yes, and we are making the most educated choices we can. Believe in yourself, poulí, just as we do.”
You nod silently doing your best to absorb Kaldur’s reassurances. Soon enough the Super-cycle begins to descend. It pauses part way submerged, and you reach out with the ring clad finger to touch the water. Kaldur is silent beside you as you ground yourself. You feel the current, the pull of the ocean, and firmly you say, “anapnéo,” the ring made from atlantean metal glows, and then with a tap to the Super-cycle it submerges completely.
The first breath is always a bit nerve wracking, it feels like you’re entirely out of practice, and therefore not prepared to breathe. But you do. You cautiously, slowly breathe in, and when it feels as normal as it does on land your body relaxes.
“pos niótheis poulí?" (how do you feel, Birdy?) Kaldur’s question jars your wandering thoughts back into the present.
“étoimo na cheiristeí ó,ti prépei na cheiristeí ,” (ready to handle what needs to be handled) you assure him and he nods.
Minutes pass and then you are confronted with the city of Atlantis, beautiful in all its glowing magic and technology. You smile at the city fondly and catch the wanting in Kaldur’s eye, this was him home, and for a year it had been your own. The two of you had developed your friendship in this city, it will always, without a doubt, be a very special place for you.
As the cycle passes through the gates and toward the conservatory, you push the melancholic nostalgia away, and do your best to focus in on the mission at hand, there was too much as stake to be distracted by memories of the past. As Kaldur disembarks, you follow, and the two of you make your way into the Conservatory of Magic.

MOUNT JUSTICE
December 31st, 15:42 EST
“So you need us to develop something that will work against, whatever magicked up alien technology that Mr. Big Bad, Vandal Savage is using against the Justice League?” Roquette’s tone was the same as it was when you first encountered her, and you share a look with Kaldur when you both notice it.
“The heroes have come to us for help, should we not so long as we are able?” Dr. Vulko, ever the voice of reason, and forever on the side of progress is the balm you didn’t realize you’d need.
“I agree, this is an opportunity to do good with the knowledge we have acquired over our years,” Dr. Spence’s agreement catches you off guard, but the pride and satisfaction rolling off of SB tells you this is exactly what he’d hoped for.
“It’s simple, Kaldur’ahm and Poulí told us what’s wrong, you’re either here to help, or they can show you the door,” Tulla’s blunt and to the point, and you have the choke down the snort as you stare appreciatively at the redhead, you notice that Kaldur’s doing the same, some things, you imagine, would never change.
You’d all regrouped at the Cave, scientists and specialists in hand. Tulla had been Queen Veera’s contribution and envoy as she could not leave Atlantis without a sane monarch, and especially not in a time where the King had been compromised. Each recruit had been given the details during their travel, but once they were all together, the gravity had seemingly begun to set in. Dr. Rouquette was as vibrant as she had been when you’d first met, despite that though, they had begun a prompt discussion on how the chip works, and a prefatory analysis on the confiscated chip.
“So do we think this is gonna work? Or should we be considering a back-up plan?” Rocket’s voice echoes though the open link and while the specialists continue their discussions, the team sends knowing looks to each other.
“this is the plan, the only plan,” you tell them seriously.
“Wait, seriously? You always have a back-up?” Artemis’ surprise is evident, and your lips twist down in response.
“Figures, considering her go-to has also been compromised,” Wally’s judgement is clear and your eye twitches in response.
“Sorry about that,” Zatanna’s voice is meek in response, and you catch the way Artemis, punches Wally in the arm, and his accompanying wince.
“So not your fault,” you finally cut in. “And I don’t hear you offering something else up, Wall-Man?” you state bitingly, shooting him a glare at which Wally winces again.
“To be fair, this was originally his idea,” Conner cuts in.
“Semantics,” Robin disagrees, “plus, Birdy’s the one with the connections to make it happen.”
“Gee, thanks, Rob. My genius and l feel so appreciated,” Wally scoffs, rolling his eyes.
“Right, so… back-up plan?” Rocket asks again.
“I don’t know! Short of contacting any non-affiliated heroes, or intergalactic organizations, I’m not sure what else we can do,” you sigh, a hand coming up to pinch at the bridge of your nose, while you work to secure your emotions and constrain your frustration.
“Intergalactic organizations?” Rocket repeats.
“OA,” the response is echoed by Wally, Rob, Roy, and Kaldur, you can’t help but notice this is the first time Roy was participating.
“OA,” you confirm, and then catching the confused look, on Rocket and Zatanna’s faces you add, “The Green Lantern Corps.”
“Oh,” Zatanna’s understanding is soft, as her eyes widen.
“We have a line to them?” Rocket asks, surprise evident.
“…We have potential avenues,” Robin supplies, defending your point while making eye contact with you.
“We do?” Artemis’ question is fair, and you hesitate, but your eyes lock with Roy, and then with Dick.
“Earth has another Green Lantern,” You remind the team.
“Is he not a part of the league?” Zatanna squints.
“…There were some concerns about his attitude and maturity,” Dick supplies cautiously.
“But they let Roy in?” the dig slips from Artemis’ thoughts, and by the look on her face you know she didn’t mean to project that particular thought.
You can’t help the very audible snort, and a hand comes up over your face in embarrassment as everyone turns to you.
You catch the small smirk on Dick’s face, and Wally’s chuckling a little bit too. And when Roy turns to you, betrayed, you can’t help but start to giggle, and when your avert your gaze, they land on Wally. Which really was the worst move because then you’re both laughing.
“Okay!” Roy huffs. “Laugh it up, Birdy,” he scoffs.
“Sor-” you try but burst into another fit, until you’re practically leaning on Kaldur to stay upright.
When you finally get control, you catch the small smile on Kaldur’s face, and even Roy’s scowl has faded a bit.
“Sorry,” you say seriously, bitting your lip and straightening up.
“Should we be worried?” Rocket asks, wide eyes on you.
“No, sorry, I just… whew, I needed a laugh, thanks Artemis,” you smile.
Artemis blushes a bit in response, “What were you going to say about the other Lantern?” she prompts, pushing the conversation back on track.
“Right, Guy Gardner,” you share. “Kind of a bully based on Canary’s files, it’s the reason he hasn’t been inducted. But he is a Lantern, and the ring did choose him. He’s based out of Baltimore, Maryland. If we fail here, we just need to get word to him, hopefully he’ll take it seriously,” you shrug.
“Reassuring,” Rocket laments flatly, and all you can do is shrug again.
“Kaldur’ahm, Poulí, I think we may have come to an understanding,” Vulko’s voice booms across the room, and your head snaps to him immediately.
“What do you need?” you ask, setting your shoulders, as the rest of the team turns to face the brain trust.

THE WATCHTOWER December 31st, 23:16 EST
Infiltrating the Watchtower was not something you’d ever thought you’d have to do. However, somehow, you really can’t find it in you to be totally surprised.
Dinah, now freed from Starro-Tech’s control, along with Roy and Red Tornado had gone in as a distraction, allowing the team to handle the rest. Part of you had been hesitant to let Roy out of your sight after finally finding him. Not to mention Dinah. You’d twitched a little too violently, when she volunteered to go back, and Roy and Dick had both given you cautious looks as a response.
The waiting was the worst though.
You watched as M’gann, Kaldur, and Connor broke through the wall where the Bioship had docked. Robin kept an eye on the alarms and scanners the entire time, covering the Team’s tracks as he went.
Eventually, it was time.
“RT did it. Wirelessly bypassed security for us as soon as he arrived. Savage shouldn't know we're here,” Robin confirmed, once we’d all regrouped inside the watchtower.
Aqualad nodded, before casting a quick glance at the rest of the team, “move out.”
“Currently tracking five League members between us and Savage,” Robin shares as you and Kaldur begin leading everyone though.
“Which ones?” Artemis’ tone is dubious, even through the link, and you can’t really say you blame her.
“Plastic Man, Hawkman, the Atom, Captain Atom, and… well,” Robin pauses on the last one and you turn back to look at him. “Green Arrow.”
The team pauses, as they wait for the next move. There were nine of you, which meant almost everyone could double up, almost.
A quick glance at Kaldur tells you he was thinking the same thing.
“Here’s the plan…” you speak first, “We work quietly and quickly. Take every opportunity to knock as many of the Leaguers out as we can before Savage and his cohort baddies realize what’s happening. Artemis and KF, you two take Plastic Man. SB and Rob, Hawkman. Zatanna and Miss M, the Atom. Aqualad and Rocket, Captain Atom. Leave GA to me,” the team nods, but once again you notice their hesitation.
“What?” you press.
“Are you sure you want to handle GA? One of us can do it,” Wally offers tentatively.
“No. He’s mine. But Rob, I could use a favor…”
Armed with one of Robin’s recording birdarangs you split off from the group. You’re following your map to where GA’s icon is moving, and periodically you get updates from the rest of the team.
First it’s KF and Artemis.
“Plastic Man in gassed, and chipped,” you can practically hear Wally’s smirk as he reports in.
You turn another corner.
“Hawkman’s chipped too,” Robin reports.
“Probably going to be out for a bit. I might’ve hit him a little too hard,” Superboy admits.
You pause when you hear Oliver’s footsteps. Spotting the crates, you launch yourself up. Walking on the balls of your feet, you climb up, silently.
“We got the Atom,” Zatanna confirms.
You catch sight of a support beam, a few feet above you, and launch yourself up with as much strength as you can muster. You manage to grab hold, and then you pull your body up, until you’re balanced on your feet, walking the beam.
“Captain Atom is incapacitated, but chipped,” Kaldur’s the next one to confirm, which just left you.
You pull the chip from your belt, as well as the birdarang. Following Oliver’s path ahead, you toss the birdarang, it lands solidly in the wall.
A beat passes.
And then a second.
And then-
“Ha, Ha, Ollie, over here!”
Your giggle echoes down the hall, and Oliver’s quick to turn to the sound.
“NG, status?” Robin’s voice rings through the link but you ignore it.
You take your grapple line and wrap it around the support, making sure it’s snug in place, before attaching the line to your belt.
“Birdy, you copy?” Wally this time.
Oliver’s almost in position, and so you count.
one.
two.
three.
You hold your breath as you lean back.
For a second you’re falling, and it’s so quiet you could hear a pin drop. Luckily, the speaker starts again.
“Ha, ha. Ollie, over here!”
The recording covers the sound of the grapple going taught.
“Nightingale, report in!” Kaldur, and he’s serious.
You get about two seconds before Oliver realizes the birdarang’s what’s making the sound, and you’re suspended in the air, halfway between the ground and the support beams of the Watchtower.
The chip, which you’d been flipping around your finger’s is poised between your index and middle fingers, and right as Ollie turns, baring the side of his neck, you toss it. You throw it the way Dinah taught you to throw a shuriken.
The balance had practically been the same.
It hits Ollie and there’s a second when he turns to you, arrow drawn.
And then he collapses.
You tug on the grapple cord and it slackens. You land on your feet, twisting the cord back into your grapple as you walk up to the downed Green Arrow.
“GA’s chipped,” you finally say, tuning back into the link.
“We’re not splitting up anymore,” Wally says quickly.
You roll your eyes.
“Don’t be ridiculous, KF-”
“You didn’t answer us!” Artemis cuts in.
This time you scoff.
“They have to realize by now,” Robin speaks up.
“He’s right, we need to move. Zatanna and Miss Martian, you two head for the dock Zeta, Rocket and I will join you,” Kaldur decides. “The rest of you head up.”
“On the way,” Zatanna confirms.
You’d started making your way back up, sticking to the support beams as much as possible, so far, you’d avoided any further League interactions.
“That’s Dr. Fate, Icon, and Captain Marvel taken care of,” Zatanna speaks up, and you pause for a second.
“Too bad Cure-tech doesn't work as fast as Starro-tech. We could use these guys,” Rocket huffs, and your lips quirk up, she’s not wrong.
“It is a small miracle Queen Meera and Doctors Roquette, Spence, and Vulko were able to re-engineer a cure and vaccine at all,” Kaldur reminds her.
“And their combined 8 PhDs,” you muse.
Before anyone can respond to your joke, KF interjects, “If you guys aren't busy...”
Your breath catches, but Kaldur’s already on the move, “On my way. You three rendezvous with Robin and Superboy.”
You pick up your pace as well, and are only partially paying attention when Zatanna gives her confirmation.
“Uh, I'll be right behind you,” she offers.
You manage to arrive at the main deck in time to Batman hit Robin.
“I am so not turbed,” is how you announce yourself, as your jump down from the level you’re on, using your grapple to loop down to the one where Robin is.
“Yeah, me neither,” he promises.
You’re on your feet in time to fall in step with both Superboy and Robin, both seem to be smarting a bit after taking on Batman and Superman, understandably.
“We're not gonna beat them one-on-one,” Robin finally announces.
“Plan B, then,” Superboy confirms.
“And I thought my contingencies were drastic,” you manage to joke out before taking Connor’s hand.
Conner grabs a hold of you with one hand, and Robin with the other. Using his strength he spins you both, before launching you one after the other at Batman.
You land first, grabbing a handful of his cape to pull him with your momentum.
Robin’s body crashes into you both a second later, and then the three of you go into the wall. You can feel your bones rattle from the impact, but when you slide down, you manage to grab a hold of a chip as Robin hold’s Batman steady.
You place the chip, before changing your stance to drop into a roll. You pop up on one leg, escrima sticks in hand, and Robin lands crouched beside you.
You barely have a second to catch your breath before you hear Superman and Superboy go into a wall of their own.
You both take off and you hesitate when Robin reaches to his belt.
“You sure about this?” you ask as you both run up to them.
Superboy manages to grunt out a, “Just do it!” as he strains to hold Superman in place.
You grab hold of another chip while Robin opens a box.
The green light reflects off their faces, and you watch as it seems to drain them both. Conner and Superman both start sliding down, neither of them fighting anymore as they go.
As soon as Superman falls, you’re quick to place the chip, and once you do, Robin’s shutting the lead lined box tight.
You sit back on your ass and let out the breath you didn’t realize you were holding, turning back to check on Conner, who was pulling himself up to sit against the wall beside you.
He lets out a groan, looking at you and then at Robin, “Ugh. Kryptonite… hurts,” he admits, and you can’t help the scoff that slips past your lips.
It brings a smile to Robin’s face though.
“Which is why,” he begins, offering a hand to Conner. “Batman keeps it in an overwhelmingly impenetrable vault at the Batcave,” he explains, pulling SB back to his feet.
“Overwhelmingly impenetrable, huh?” you smirk up at the two.
Both boys smile down, offering you a hand.
“Well, more like a whelmingly penetrable vault,” Robin corrects.
You snort, taking their hands, and they’re quick to put you back on your feet as well.
“Let’s go. Vandal Savage awaits,” you remind them, and the two nod at you, before the three of you take off toward’s the main viewing deck, where the main Zeta point was for the Watchtower.
Unfortunately you get there just in time to watch Vandal Savage, Klarion, and his familiar, Teekle, disappear through a portal. Wally skidding into where they had been not even a second before.
You redirect yourself over to where Dinah and Roy are unconscious on the floor.
Wally whizzes up to you and grabs your spare de-programing chips, placing them on the leaguers who were up here, before sliding back up to the rest of you.
“Congratulations, Team. You have won the day,” Red Tornado announces, and you let out a tired chuckle at the thought.
None of you have an opportunity to respond though, because in the next second, a holoscreen appears.
“Happy New Year, Justice League,” the computer announces.
You don’t catch what Wally said, but when you turn to him, he’s holding Artemis, and they’re kissing.
Your lip twitches up, and then Connor and M’gann too.
“I’m liking this Team more every day,” Rocket decides, smirking as she kisses Kaldur’s cheek.
You roll your eyes and gag at Robin and Zatanna, both of whom smother their laughs. Zatanna looks away as she tries to keep her composure, but Robin stares back at you.
“Milkshakes?” you mouth to him while no one’s watching.
“Definitely,” he mouths back.
“Human customs still elude me,” Red Tornado announces in response to the kissing, and you can’t hold back your snort.

THE WATCHTOWER January 1st, 00:42 EST
It took some time, but eventually the Leaguer’s began to wake up, and slolwy they all arrived back in the entry deck.
“Everything I thought I knew about myself was a lie. I'm not a hero or a sidekick. I'm a traitor, a pawn,” Roy’s tone was low, dejected, in a way you’re not sure you’d ever heard it.
Dinah reaches out, placing a hand on his arm, “Roy, it'll be all-”
You wince when you watch Roy pull back from her. Bitting too far into your lip and tasting blood.
“I'm not Roy! I don't know what I am. All I know is I need to find the real Roy. I need to rescue Speedy,” he counters.
You’d been too anxious to sit when everyone else had. electing instead to stand across the table from Roy while Ollie and Dinah took the seats on either side of him.
“We’ll help you. The team I mean. And if not, then I will. We’ll find him,” you cut in, licking over your split lip.
“Guardian is already searching Cadmus,” Batman add, reassuringly.
Ollie had been unusually quiet.
“We should take Ro- Red Arrow, home, at least, for now,” Dinah decides.
You caught her slip up, everyone at the table probably did, but no one commented.
“Of course, all four of you can go,” Batman nods.
You catch the tonal shift, and you hesitate.
You’re not sure you would’ve noticed it if not for the rest of your abilities, but you know there’s something else.
“I’d like to stay,” you announce and everyone turns to you. “Just for a bit,” you backtrack, “I want to make sure the Team’s set, and I need to speak with Aquaman about how we deconstructed the chips,” you expound.
Roy looks like he wants to bolt, not that you balme him.
Ollie’s holding himself stiffly.
Dinah looks a little queasy at leaving you here on your own.
“I’ll be fine,” you reassure them.
“I’ll escort her, to Arthur, and then back to the Zeta’s,” Batman offers, and you notice as Dinah realxes, but only a little.
“Not too long,” she adds, though it’s perfunctory, you can tell.
“Promise,” you nod.
She smiles once more at you, weak and strained, before she and Ollie take Roy toward the Zeta’s
You wait until they’re through before you turn back to Batman. Robin and Kaldur had taken the seat on either side of him, and the four of you were the only ones left in the room.
Your hands land on the table with a loud smack that echoes thorough the room, and all three sets of eyes shift to you.
Yours, however, are focused on Batman, “Something else is wrong,” you say.
You’re not asking, you’re not, because you know.
Batman hesitates, looking to Robin for a second before turning back to you, and then nodding.
“The entire League was under Savage's spell for just over a day,” Robin begins, sharing a holoscreen with you. “We've accounted for most of that time. But these six went missing for a full 16 hours we can't account for.”
You stare at the screen. Batman, Superman, Green Lantern; John Stewart, Hawkwoman, Wonder Woman, and Martian Manhinter.
Powerhouses, all six. Each in their own right, different skills, different tactics. It’s terrifying to think what they could have accomplished for Klarion and Vandal Savage in sixteen hours, the implications were limitless.
“Sixteen hours,” Batman repeats, “what did we do?”

STAR CITY January 1st, 02:04 EST
It’s another hour or so by the time you make it back to Star City. You’d talked with King Arthur, shared with him how you and Kaldur had gone to Atlantis, and that Queen Meera had been appraised. And then you’d circled back to the cave to shower and change.
It’s two in the morning when you make it home, and frankly, you’re surprised to see Roy still up.
Dinah and Ollie weren’t around so you assumed they’d gone to bed. They probably thought he had too.
“Hey,” you greet lamely.
“Hi,” is all he offers back.
You drop your gym bag down by the door, and replace the lock before walking over to the sofa. You drop down beside Roy, but you leave a healthy space, not wanting to crowd him. You turn, tucking one leg under you, so that you can face him better.
“I know it’s a stupid question, but I’m going to ask anyways,” you begin, but he doesn’t look at you, focused instead on something just past your head. “How are you?”
He lets out a snort, but it’s dry, and sad, and you can hear it for what the answer it offers. Stupid question.
“I don’t know…” he says after a minute of silence. “But… I don’t really know anything anymore,” he adds on.
You bite on your lip again, wincing when your teeth make contact with the split lip you’d forgotten about.
“Fair,” you offer, agreeing.
“It’s fine,” he huffs, shrugging you off.
Your eyes narrow at that, it was a lot of things, fine isn’t one of them.
“Roy-”
“Don’t call me that!” he hisses, and you pause.
“Okay,” you concede, swallowing thickly. “What should I call you?” you prompt instead.
“I- I.. I don’t know, just.. I’m not Roy Harper, I’m not!” the last words come out as a sob, and you flick the piece of you that wants to give him space the recesses of your mind, scooting closer and wrapping an arm around his middle the best you can.
“How about Red, at least until we figure it all out?” you offer instead.
“Stop,” he cries. “Stop being nice, and understanding, I replaced him!” Roy’s voice is low, and sad, and you know he wants to make his point, but seems not to want to wake up Dinah or Ollie.
“She’s asleep so I’m going to say the bad words she tries to keep me from using,” you begin, delighted when it gets a wet snort out of the redhead. “But fuck that,” you say seriously, and he snorts again.
Finally turning to look at you, though he’s stuck with it, seeing as you’re practically pressing into his side.
“Look, I’m not blaming Ollie but I’m sure as shit not blaming you either. And I think it’s okay to acknowledge the fact that what you went through in the last few days has been harsh. That it was thirty-one flavors of traumatizing. God, Red! I’d be a fucking mess if it were Dinah coming after me, but it’s not your fucking fault or theirs!” you huff out.
“You owe Dinah at least $20, for just the last minute alone,” is all he says in response.
You scoff.
“Look, Roy or not, you’re my brother too. You have been for the last three years, and just because you’re a clone, it doesn’t make it less true,” you say seriously, and he goes quiet.
You let out a long sigh.
“You should get some sleep, tomorrow’s gonna be a long day,” you finally offer after the silence stretches.
“Yeah,” he huffs, standing up.
You stand after him, tugging him into a tight hug, that he doesn’t seem sure of how to respond to.
“Goodnight, Red,” you say gently.
“Goodnight, (y/n),” he whispers, before peeling you off of him, and walking away.

STAR CITY January 1st, 10:22 EST
You slept horribly.
The worst ever, actually.
Okay probably not, but it was still pretty bad.
The light at the end of the tunnel where the two hours of no questions you’d managed to wrangle out of Dinah.
You were already in a booth when he walked in.
Sat with your eyes closed, leaning against the linoleum seats, and when the overhead bell of the entry door rings, you blink them open in time to see Dick find you.
You offer him a muted lazy smile, and he gives you one in return.
“Hey,” he greets.
“Hey,” you say, sliding down.
He takes the invitation, settling down beside you instead of across from you.
The two of you fall into a comfortable silence. It seems you both were talked out after the events of the previous day.
Eventually, Mrs. Lenetii brings out a milkshake for you both, cooing over you, before siappearing to take care of another table.
Your head lands on his and his fingers interlace with yours.
“Bad night?” he asks after you’d both been ignoring your milkshakes for too long.
“yeah,” you nod.
“Yeah,” he repeats.
Slowly you lift your head.
You’re close, the two of you. His face is right there, his lips.
He’s staring at you with the wide blue eyes, and you wonder if he’s suddenly as nervous as you were.
You thought of Wally and Artemis at Midnight, of M’gann and Conner, even Rocket. But they were all older. You and Dick were the youngest on the team. It had never felt like it more until right now.
“Um-” he stutters out. “I… uh.. Can I?” he trails off.
“Have you.. ever?” you question back.
Neither of you have moved apart though.
“No,” he admits. “You?”
“No,” you share.
He offers you a shy smile, and it’s the first one in almost forty hours that doesn’t feel strained.
When he tilts down, you move up. There’s no fireworks. And your noes’ bump, and you giggle. And then your teeth clack, and he laughs. It’s awkward and kind of strange, and not at all what the movies make it sound like it’ll be, but it was your first kiss, and it was his too, and it tastes a little like the chocolate and strawberry milkshakes you’d both been sipping on, and all of it together makes it kind of magical in an of itself.
No matter what happened next, what came next, you had Dick, and you knew he had your back.

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Writing a main character who’s a bartender… except I’m a minor with zero experience on alcohol or bars/bartending etc
Do you have any resources that could help me out?
Thanks so much, I love your blog !!!
Writing Notes: Bartender
Bartender - specializes in the art of mixing and serving alcoholic and non-alcoholic beverages in bars, restaurants, hotels, or other establishments.
In addition to mixing drinks, bartenders also play an important role in providing excellent customer service.
They engage with customers,
take drink orders,
suggest beverage options, and
create a welcoming and enjoyable atmosphere.
Bartenders must have good communication and interpersonal skills to interact with customers of diverse backgrounds and handle various situations that may arise during their shift.
They may also be responsible for managing the bar area,
ensuring cleanliness,
organizing supplies, and
handling cash transactions.
Types of Bartenders
There are various types of bartenders, each specializing in different areas of the hospitality industry. Here are a few common types:
Mixologists: Highly skilled bartenders who focus on creating innovative and artfully crafted cocktails. They have an extensive knowledge of ingredients, flavor combinations, and mixology techniques to design unique and visually appealing drinks.
Flair Bartenders: Known for their entertaining and acrobatic style of bartending. They incorporate flair techniques such as juggling bottles, performing tricks with bar tools, and creating visually captivating presentations while preparing drinks.
Craft Beer Bartenders: Have a deep understanding of the craft beer industry. They are familiar with various beer styles, brewing processes, and flavor profiles. They assist customers in selecting beers, provide recommendations, and may curate a rotating selection of craft beers on tap.
Tiki Bartenders: Specialize in crafting tropical and exotic cocktails associated with tiki culture. They are skilled in using unique ingredients, tropical fruits, and elaborate garnishes to create visually striking and flavorful drinks.
Hotel/Resort Bartenders: Cater to guests' needs, providing a range of beverages and maintaining high standards of customer service. They may specialize in classic cocktails, signature drinks, or be responsible for managing bars in various areas of the hotel.
Common Personality Traits of Bartenders
Based on a survey of 19,176 bartenders:
They are enterprising and conventional (according to the Holland Codes)
Bartenders tend to be predominantly enterprising individuals, which means that they are usually quite natural leaders who thrive at influencing and persuading others.
They also tend to be conventional, meaning that they are usually detail-oriented and organized, and like working in a structured environment.
They have high levels of extraversion and openness (according to the Big Five)
Bartenders score highly on extraversion, meaning that they rely on external stimuli to be happy, such as people or exciting surroundings.
They also tend to be high on the measure of openness, which means they are usually curious, imaginative, and value variety.
The Workplace
The workplace of a bartender can vary depending on the establishment they work in. Bartenders can be found in a range of settings, including:
bars,
pubs,
nightclubs,
hotels,
restaurants,
resorts, and even
cruise ships.
A typical bar environment consists of a well-equipped bar counter with a variety of spirits, mixers, and bar tools.
The bar area is usually designed to be functional and efficient, with shelves or cabinets to store bottles, refrigeration units for chilling beverages, and sinks for washing glassware.
Bartenders have access to a wide array of ingredients, garnishes, and utensils needed to prepare drinks.
The atmosphere within a bar can vary significantly.
Some establishments may have a lively and bustling atmosphere, especially during peak hours or on weekends, with music playing and customers engaged in conversations.
In contrast, other bars may have a more relaxed and intimate setting, catering to a specific clientele or offering a more sophisticated ambiance.
Bartenders often work as part of a team, collaborating with barbacks, servers, and other staff members to ensure smooth operations. Communication and coordination are essential, as they need to relay orders, share responsibilities, and support each other as needed.
Some previous related posts:
Cocktails ⚜ Literary & Hollywood Cocktails ⚜ Liqueurs
Mixology Tools & Popular Cocktails ⚜ Wine Terminology
Whiskey ⚜ Describing Intoxicated Customers
Words related to Drinking
Sources: 1 2 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs
Glad to hear, thank you! Sounds like a challenge, but could be quite fun. Choose which of these details you would like to incorporate in your story. For more on the actual drinks, tools, other terms used, and possible behaviour of customers when they become intoxicated, I included some links to older posts. And you can find further information in the sources. All the best with your writing!
#anonymous#bartender#character development#writing reference#writeblr#literature#dark academia#writers on tumblr#spilled ink#writing prompt#creative writing#light academia#writing inspiration#writing ideas#writing resources
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Reset, Chapter Seventeen
Series Masterlist

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You didn’t get flown out for the final race. Didn’t get a dress code email for the prize giving ceremony. Didn’t get a hotel keycard left in an envelope at the front desk. You watched the last race of the season from your dorm, curled up on your twin bed with a plate of freezer dumplings and a laptop that buffered at least twice before the stream caught up.
Red Bull won everything, obviously. Verstappen took the final checkered flag like it was inevitable. The team celebrated in a blaze of champagne and perfectly lit content loops. You closed the window before the podium interviews even started.
No one called. No one needed anything.
And honestly, that made sense.
You’re still under contract through December 31st- still, technically, Red Bull property- but AlphaTauri’s already been announced. You’re not just development anymore. You’re not just RedBull Racing anymore. You’re forward-facing. Pipeline material. And while no one has said it aloud, the shift’s been happening for weeks.
They’re phasing you out.
Quietly. Gently. Efficiently.
Your data access had been the first thing to go- little changes, gradual redactions. You still had log-ins, but fewer dashboards showed up when you used them. Then the assignments started thinning out. Weekly reports became biweekly summaries. Dev meeting invites stopped appearing unless someone had a specific question for you. A sim anomaly. A question about a comment you had left on the braking data a few weeks ago.
It’s not personal. It’s not even cruel. It’s just… logistics. And you got it. You get it. You do.
You’re not their girl anymore. Or, won’t be. Not in the gears-and-axles sense. You got exactly what you wanted. You’ve stopped being a cog. Now you’re something shinier. Something public. A face. A product. A name.
You’d had more access than you probably should’ve from the beginning. More control. More input. They’re only pulling back what they’d loaned in the first place.
Still.
You’d built your entire life around this place since they dumped you on the factory steps in August- broke, jagged, desperate, hungry for anything more than the Indy career you had torched to the ground. This badge. These halls. The windowless sim rooms and bitter instant coffee and shared dorm showers. It’s become your whole ecosystem.
And now?
Now you’re bored.
Not in the casual, oh-I-have-nothing-to-do sense. Not in the Instagram scroll, maybe-I’ll-go-for-a-run way. You’re untethered. No real tasks. A measly four calendar holds before the end of the year. No Gavin- he’s traveling with the team. No Alessandro- burning PTO like a matchbook before the winter build surge. No Danny- off wrapping up his last days with McClaren. Stuck, just like you. Stuck, right here in purgatory.
Lying on your back in a sterile little dorm room with your legs curled up like a child and your phone battery at nine percent. Watching the forced-air heating ruffle a stray paper on your desk, trying not to fall asleep before the year-end party even starts.
It’s not loneliness, exactly. You’ve survived worse. Objectively, you have zero complaints.
But it’s quiet in a way that makes your skin itch.
There are big things coming. Huge things. A race seat. Brand deals and sponsors. Points, even, if you play your cards right. But right now? Right now you’re still technically Red Bull. Still on their payroll. Still sleeping under their roof.
You’re not part of the machine you live in anymore. And the weight of that contradiction is making you feel… something. Not numb. Not sad. Not exactly.
Just unmoored.
The day’s gotten away from you in your spiral- cold gray light stretching thin across the dorm ceiling, your phone buzzing occasionally from across the room and left unread. You should be doing something. Hair. Makeup. Picking out an outfit for this evening’s staff year end party. Anything.
Instead, you’ve just been… still.
You can’t quite name it. The feeling in your chest like a tether’s been cut. The quiet hum of weightless boredom, pressed under the skin like a bruise that never quite blooms.
You’re still training. Still working. You show up to the gym like it’s your job- because it kind of is. Because it’s the only thing that hasn’t shifted beneath your feet lately. The rhythm, the discipline, the ache. It reminds you of the summer. The purgatory of Jos’s house. The hours you carved open just to fill them with movement. With sweat. With anything that kept you from unraveling entirely.
But this has been different.
Since you got here- since the AlphaTauri shook the marrow out of your bones and left you wrung out and trembling for your life in an ice bath- you’ve been training with intention. Not just survival. Not just control. Not just maintenance. You’ve been trying to build.
For the first time in your life, the goal isn’t to disappear.
It’s to expand.
IndyCar never cared if you were strong. They cared if you were light. No driver weight minimums. Junior series, whatever flavor you drove in any given year, same thing. Lighter was faster. Coaches, engineers, principals- always asking the same questions.
How light can you get and still drive? How many days can you go without carbs before your body starts eating your reflexes?
Smaller was better. A decade of conditioning that turned your own hunger into an enemy. Every pound scrutinized. Every calorie accounted for. Racing in those worlds meant being barely there- meant learning to cut yourself down until you fit inside the mold.
The only real advantage to being a woman in that system? You were already small. Naturally lighter. It made the weight targets a little easier- sometimes. While your male teammates were scraping muscle off themselves to make weight, skipping meals and running hot just to cut grams, you were coasting in under the line. Not because it was healthy. Not because it was fair. But because being born smaller meant you starved less.
But now?
Now you’re in F1.
Now there's a minimum. A fixed number. Now it doesn’t matter if you’re naturally small- because every pound you don’t carry is another pound your competitors get to fill with power. With strength. With muscle that helps them outdrive, outmuscle, outlast you.
You’re no longer rewarded for taking up less space. You’re punished for it. So you’ve changed.
You’ve been eating like it matters. Training like it’s math- input and output, time and tension. Your body, for the first time since before you got your first period, isn’t a compromise. It’s becoming a weapon.
You sit up slowly. Peel off your clothes. One layer at a time. Hoodie, socks, leggings, tank. Until you’re just in your underwear and bra. Cotton. Soft. Familiar.
Then you reach for the full-length mirror leaning against the wall and drag it onto the bed with you. Set it up agasint your pillows so you can see yourself. All of you. Up close.
And then you look. Really look. Take stock.
Your thighs are thicker now. Solid. Corded with new muscle, the kind that moves when you shift and flexes without trying. They press together, heavy and warm and proud. They flow into hips that have grown wider, fuller, more anchored somehow. Your waist is still there- narrow, defined- but the curve from rib to hip to thigh is smooth and deep and fucking stunning.
You twist slightly, propping yourself on one arm, and turn your attention lower.
Your ass is outrageous.
You blink. Then smile. Every inch of it earned from loading squats three times a week until you might have cried with exhaustion. It lifts high and round, fuller than it’s ever been. It’s the reason most of your jeans have become… hazardous, lately. You only have a handful of pairs left that fit at all, much less well. The shape is almost surreal- like someone photoshopped you and forgot to undo it. But it’s not fake. It’s earned. It balances the line of your back, the curve of your hips, the strength in your thighs.
You shift your hips again, slowly. Watching the way everything follows. The drag of your skin, the flex and pull of muscle. And it’s not just power. It’s not just the function of it.
It’s beautiful.
There’s a sensuality to it that catches you off guard.
Not sexual. Not quite. Not the kind of thing you’d show off for someone else. This isn’t about being wanted. You haven’t been touched in months. Haven’t been kissed. Haven’t felt the pressure of someone else’s palm against your skin or the heat of a gaze that wanted this body.
And that’s okay.
Because right now, this moment isn’t for them.
It’s for you.
You look at your stomach- still lean, but no longer hollow. Muscle built up through dedication, not revealed by deprivation. Your shoulders roll back as you shift upright, and your back pulls taut, muscles threading together like ropes under skin.
And then your eyes land on your chest.
Your bra- nothing fancy, just plain cotton- stretches over you in a way it never used to. Full. Rounded. Heavy in a way that’s new. Like your body finally got the message that it’s safe to have things now. That you’re allowed to take up space.
You trail your fingers from your sternum outward. Over the shape of yourself. The dip of your waist. The rise of your hips. The flare and the fullness and the heat pooling under your skin, not from desire- but from recognition.
This is not the body you left America with.
Not the one built for hunger. Not the one that fought, that starved, that was sold in sponsorship dollars and calories just to survive. Not the same one that felt powerless and drowned and vulnerable in pits full of men with egos that outpaced their cars.
This one is yours.
All of it. The strength. The softness. The sex appeal.
And yeah, it’s probably a little vain, the way you pose. The way you tilt your chin and arch your back and stare at your own reflection with a smirk you didn’t know you still had in you. But you don’t care.
You love her.
This new shape. This new presence. This walking, breathing proof that you are here. You deserve this space. You are every inch of who you make yourself to be.
You pull your knees up to your chest, still sitting on the bed, mirror between them, and rest your cheek on your own shoulder, watching the way your arms curve around yourself.
It’s not lost on you how much trauma lived in the old body. In the bones that didn’t bend. In the skin that always felt too tight. In the way people looked at you like a novelty or a threat or a product.
This body isn’t for them.
It’s for you. For who you’re going to be.
And it’s perfect.
Eventually… you move. Not quickly. Not decisively. Just… gradually. Like heat returning to numb limbs. You get up, still in your underwear, and pad barefoot across the cold dorm floor to the narrow wardrobe tucked beside your desk. It’s small, just to hold the things you can’t afford to let wrinkle. You’ve only opened it a handful of times since you got back from Brazil.
The contents aren’t much. A few basics. A pressed pair of jeans with a sharp, precise crease ironed down the front. Slacks. A simple blazer. At the right end, your suit hangs crisp in its plastic wrap, the one you wore to push your contract at Helmut, back when the words “development driver” still felt like something borrowed.
You touch the fabric out of habit. The pants look… impossible. Maybe, if you hold your breath and pray to Sara Blakely and her Spanx gods- oh, and don’t eat all night- but honestly, you’re looking forward to the catering spread. Besides, it’s just the staff party- it’s really not that serious.
You let them hang.
Instead, you let your fingers walk a few hangers to the left. Fingers brush something soft. Velvet. Rich, forgiving, quietly festive. Not ugly sweater festive, but more like ‘yes, we are acknowledging it’s December.’ You pull it forward.
The dress is red. Not race-car red, not attention-demanding. Just… warm. A little saturated. The kind of color that makes your skin look golden and your hair a little darker in contrast. Sleeveless. High-necked. Hits just above the knee. Enough stretch to move with you. To let the body you’ve built exist without apology.
You hold it up to your chest, glance toward the mirror still propped on your bed, and nod once. Quietly. Like you’re letting yourself agree with the version of you that smiled at her own reflection twenty minutes ago. It’s not a statement dress. It’s not supposed to be.
You pull on a pair of black nylons- semi-sheer, a soft little balance between flirtation and formality. The kind you used to wear for media days in junior formula, when you wanted to look polished but not severe. They slide up with the faintest whisper, snug but not constricting. They feel like intention.
Shoes next- your simple black pumps. Not casual, not party heels. Just clean, classic. You slip them on and they still fit the way only leather can- with loyalty. Like no matter how much the rest of you changes, these shoes will still love your feet. That feels like something. A single, stable detail in a body and world that’s otherwise brand new.
You perch on the edge of your desk to do your makeup rather than move the half-clean laundry that lives on your chair. Try not to sit in your compact while you plan your face.
Nothing heavy. Nothing loud. Just light coverage. A little shimmer. A soft sweep of blush across the apples of your cheeks that makes you look sunlit, even under factory-grade fluorescents. You gloss your lips with something pink and sheer, add a touch of mascara. Pretty. Festive. The kind of face that looks like someone you’d want to talk to at a work party without checking a credential first.
Your hair’s a little unruly from lying around until it air-dried, but it still curls easily under your hands. You twist it up in loose, polished sections, pin it in place, and finish it with a narrow ribbon tucked just above the nape of your neck. The bow is barely anything- thin, dainty. Just a little touch.
And when you finally step back from the mirror and take it all in- dress, tights, pumps, makeup, the slight shimmer on your collarbone- you don’t feel like a driver or a ghost or a PR obligation. Not really.
You feel like a girl going to a party at the end of the strangest, most transformative semester of her life. A little out of place. A little nostalgic for something that hasn’t even fully ended. Quietly proud. Quietly melancholy.
You smooth your hands down your dress once, just to feel the fabric hug your ribs. Time to say goodbye- quietly, professionally, beautifully- to the place that made you feel like someone valuable again. Even if they’re already learning how to do without you.
════════════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══════════════════
The party’s better than expected.
Not flashy, not loud- just the hum of conversation, the clink of glasses, the low warmth of staff laughter echoing against the high factory walls. Someone’s strung lights across the ceiling beams, giving everything a soft golden tint. There’s music playing low from the overheads, just enough to keep the room moving. Food’s decent. Little platters of fussy fingerfoods that strike a balance between upscale and approachable. Drinks are free. Everyone’s at that perfect midpoint between polite and tipsy.
You’re leaned against a high table near the edge of the floor, nursing something red and fizzy in a plastic flute. The dress is holding up. The shoes haven’t betrayed you. And you’re laughing- real laughter, open and soft- because Ollie from dev is holding court like his life depends on it.
“I swear to God,” he’s saying, wide-eyed, one hand gesturing wildly, “the second I mentioned it, he looked at me like I’d confessed to a murder.”
Nicole’s giggling politely beside him- dark hair curling over her shoulders, dress tastefully low-cut, clearly groomed and pressed to the nine- and Ollie is doing absolutely nothing to hide the way he’s looking at her.
It’s not subtle.
He is making full, direct, devotional heart eyes every time she opens her mouth. You’re only half listening to the story at this point. Mostly you’re laughing at the sheer audacity of his infatuation. Like he doesn’t even care that you’re standing right here, clocking every stolen glance like it’s your actual job.
Ollie says something else- something about a lost data package and a RedBull fueled all nighter that left him hallucinating on his drive home- and Nicole tilts her head, clearly humoring him.
“That’s… so wild,” she says, all doe-eyed and glittery.
Ollie looks like he’s going to combust. You have to bite your lip to keep from laughing again. You sip your drink instead, cheeks warm. For the first time all day, you feel… present. A little girlish. A little like you belong. And yet, despite the comfort of that- you feel it.
You can feel Jos moving through the room.
It’s not oppressive. Not threatening. He’s not circling like a shark, and you’re not prey. It’s just… something you’re aware of. Like tracking a storm in the distance. You always know where he is.
And honestly?
You’ve resigned yourself to it.
You know he’ll find you eventually. That’s the nature of Jos. He always does. Always appears at the edge of a moment you thought was yours, all gravel-voiced analysis and heavy handshakes and that particular brand of European proximity that makes everything feel more intimate than it should.
And you’re not exactly afraid. You never have been.
If anything- God, you almost missed him.
Jos is a lot. An exhausting amount. But he’s also sharp. Dangerous in the way only brilliant men can be. Talking to him is like fencing with live wire- strategic, quick, crackling. But you’ve never felt like the target. Not really.
You’re not sure what that makes you.
An ally, maybe.
A co-conspirator.
Because Jos doesn’t talk to you like you’re lucky to be here. He talks to you like you’re a weapon. Like you’re leverage he trusts to understand what you’re worth. Like you’re playing a game with him- and unlike with most men in this sport, with Jos, the game doesn’t end with you losing. You think. Probably. So far, at least.
Still, there’s a sliver of something colder beneath it all. A flicker of discomfort you haven’t fully looked at yet. You don’t let yourself think about that too hard. Not here. Not now.
Instead, you set your drink down and laugh again- high and bright, because Ollie has just managed to turn a telemetry error into a flirtation, and Nicole is playing along like she might just let him win. You play with the ribbon in your hair, glance sideways across the room- And, sure enough, Jos is watching. Not close. Not obvious. Just… waiting.
You adjust the strap of your dress, smooth your hands down the velvet one more time. Your glass is nearly empty. Nicole’s laughing again, Ollie’s blushing so hard it’s a health concern, and somewhere across the room, Jos Verstappen is waiting for you.
So you decide- fuck it.
If he’s going to find you anyway- if he’s already watching- you might as well meet him on your terms. Even if those terms are flimsy. Even if they exist mostly as a way to keep your spine straight and your voice level and your heart from pounding through your ribs.
You slip away from the table, leaving Ollie mid-laugh and Nicole mid-smile. Neither of them notices you go.
You push off the table and cross the floor without fanfare. Slow, steady, unbothered. Your heels click softly against the concrete. The lights above throw gold over your shoulders, and you hold your posture just right. Not stiff. Not girlish. Just composed. Whole.
You don’t know what compels you, exactly. It’s not submission. It’s not allegiance. It’s something quieter. Resignation, maybe. Or- God, maybe curiosity. You’ve danced around this enough times to know it’s coming. He’ll find you eventually. Might as well see what happens when you make the first move.
Jos tracks you the whole way. He’ss standing near the back, half-shadowed by a pillar and positioned with surgical precision- close enough to be in the mix, far enough that no one casually wanders into his orbit. He’s talking to someone from powertrains, nodding along like he’s interested, but his eyes flick toward you the moment you cross the floor.
Not obviously. Not openly. Just with the kind of stillness predators have right before they strike. Arms folded. Drink untouched. He shifts his weight once, almost imperceptibly, like he can’t believe his luck but is already plotting how to use it.
You keep your shoulders relaxed. You walk like you have nowhere in particular to be.
Jos smiles when you reach him. It doesn’t quite touch his eyes.His gaze flicks over you once- just once- but it’s loaded. Evaluating. Not lecherous, but not empty either. Like he’s cataloging the value of your appearance for some unseen ledger.
“There she is,” he says, low and pleased. “I was wondering when you’d come say hello.”
You smile. Easy. Controlled. “Thought I’d save the best for last.”
He laughs once, a short sound, dry and amused. “I like the dress.”
You resist the urge to fidget. “Thanks. Needed something that fit.”
Jos’s eyes flash at that- just a brief glint of approval, the kind that makes your skin feel seen in a way that’s not quite comfortable. Not inappropriate. Just intentional.
You sip your drink- what’s left of it- and let a small silence settle between you. The music hums along in the background. Conversation rolls across the room like static. You glance over your shoulder once, scan the space like you’re keeping track of exits. Then turn back.
And with practiced casualness, you say, “You hear about anything running this winter?”
Jos’s attention sharpens, just slightly. Barely a twitch in his jaw. But he clocks it. You keep your eyes on the middle distance and take a sip of your drink- mostly for the pause it offers- and then, casually, like you’re mentioning the weather: “I’ve been a little bored.”
Jos tilts his head. Interested. “Is that so?”
“Just... stir-crazy.” You keep your tone light. Bright. “Haven’t been in a real car since they flew Max in for brake testing.”
He gives nothing away. Just waits.
You glance out over the room like it doesn’t matter, like you’re not carefully placing each word. “I was thinking- if anything came up. A testing slot. A rally drive. Anything like that.” There. Gentle. Palatable. No pressure. Not desperation. Not even an ask, really. Just a statement. A floating suggestion.
Your voice doesn’t shift. Your shoulders stay easy. But your stomach coils tight. Because even now- even with this new body, this new deal, this new version of you- there’s still something about asking that feels like folding. Like peeling open your ribs.
Jos’s mouth twitches. Just the corner. “Hm.” That’s it. Just that. But you know him well enough to catch it. That sound- small, smug, delighted. It’s the sound of a trap closing.
Because you came to him. Because you asked.
No matter how subtle. No matter how casual. You asked. And it thrills him. Because Jos Verstappen lives for this.
He hides it well- he always does- but it’s there. The faint shift of weight toward you. The satisfied tilt of his head. The way his eyes sharpen just slightly, like the game he’s been playing has finally started to swing in his favor.
“You want me to make a call?” he asks, smooth and quiet, like it costs him nothing.
You lift a shoulder. “Only if it’s not a headache.”
He hums, looking away for a moment, already flipping through names, contacts, favors- building the scaffolding in his mind. He lets the silence stretch just long enough to prove he holds the reins. Only then does he speak.
“It wouldn’t be a single-seater,” he says finally. “Rally, most likely. Scandinavia. Snow. Cold. Not much exposure. Barely any pay.”
You don’t hesitate. “Send my paycheck straight back to the team,” you say. “Call it a sponsorship. I don’t care what it is.”
That gets his attention.
Jos studies you, eyes narrowing just slightly. Not with suspicion. With curiosity. Like he’s just thrown a line out, expecting it to hang in the water for a while- and you bit down before it even landed.
It was a test. A measure of your grit. Of your desperation. Of your understanding.
And you passed.
He leans back ever so slightly, nodding once, like he’s filing something away. “That sounds like a good time, does it?” he asks, tone dry but edged with something almost amused.
You hold his gaze. Steady. “Yes. It does.”
Another beat. He looks at you for a moment longer- really looks. Like he’s trying to figure out if you’re naive or ruthless, and whether or not it matters.
Then, almost fondly: “You’re smart to ask.”
There’s no threat in it. But there is a temperature. A charge beneath the compliment. He wants you to know you’ve made the right choice. That you’re wise to seek him out. That there’s more where that came from, if you stay close.
Jos smiles again, all teeth and calculation disguised as generosity. “I’ll be in touch. Keep your gear bag packed.”
And just like that, you’ve traded yourself for a favor. You feel it settle in your ribs. Weightless. But not free. The kind of thing that won’t show up in contracts or inboxes, but that you’ll carry all the same. Jos slips away only a moment later.
One minute he’s promising to make a few calls, and the next he’s clapping someone on the back and gliding into another conversation- like he hadn’t just offered you a taste of something sharp and sweet with a leash hidden inside.
You’re left standing near the perimeter of the room, drink still in hand, blood still humming from the conversation. It's not adrenaline exactly. Not fear. Just the slow, uneasy swell of something that feels like a contract being signed without ink.
You can feel him before you hear him. The shift in temperature. The static at your back. Max. Predictable, honestly. That Jos would drop you off right in his periphery. Fitting, truly. Inevitable.
You don’t see him approach- he moves like a shadow under a locked door. Silent. Sure. Unwanted.
But this time? You’re not caught off guard. You’re not off balance. You’re not scrambling to please, or prove, or endure. You’re tired. Bone-deep tired. The kind of tired that scrapes everything polite out of your chest and leaves nothing behind but sharp teeth and sharper instincts.
And you’re not afraid of him anymore.
Max takes position just behind your left shoulder, close enough that the heat of him skims your skin without touching it. Like a dare. Like he wants you to turn.
You don’t flinch.
You just wait. He wouldn’t have stepped forward if he didn’t have something to say. Fucking say it, Max.
“You really going for the full set, huh?��� he says at last, voice low and dry. Venom tucked under every syllable like it’s something elegant. “Sponsorship. Seat. Verstappen family holiday invite.”
You blink once. Slow. Unbothered. “Jesus.”
You turn your head over your shoulder- just enough to catch the line of his mouth, the cut of his eyes. The disdain’s still there, as always, but there’s something else now. Something darker coiled just behind it. “Is this your idea of a Christmas card?” you ask.
He doesn’t smile. He doesn’t have to. The accusation’s already in the air between you. He’s not here to be clever. He’s here to see what you’ll do.
You inhale, sharp and silent. Then pivot on your toe, full-body now, facing him square for the first time. He’s close. Closer than you expected. Closer than anyone should be in a room full of champagne and fairy lights and factory staff pretending they aren’t watching.
You meet him at eye level. No posture. No smile. No spin.
Just you.
“I’m sorry I’m not subtle enough for you,” you say, voice steady. “But some of us don’t have the luxury of pretending we don’t need favors.”
You take a half-step forward. Not aggressive. Not passive. Just enough to reclaim the space he thought he’d filled.
“Look,” you go on, tired and clear and done with it, “I’ve got nothing to sell but my drives and my time. That’s it. So yeah, if Jos wants to hand me a favor, or a drive, or a fucking photo op, I’m going to take it. I’m going to smile, say thank you, and take everything he gives me. Because I’m not in a position to be picky.”
His jaw tightens. Barely. Just enough.
And maybe you should stop there. But you’re so fucking done. With him. With this. With the way he’s hovered all season like a storm cloud and acted like you were the one blocking the sun.
So you don’t stop.
“Seriously,” you add, biting now, “why are you standing here? Why don’t you go find another junior employee to intimidate? Do some scouting for next season. You love that shit.”
Max doesn’t blink. Doesn’t budge.
But his silence isn’t power anymore. Not to you.
In two weeks, you’re out of his factory. Out of his immediate orbit. You’re done tiptoeing through his moods like they’re weather patterns. So you lean in. A breath closer. Just to twist the knife. Just because you can.
“Or maybe,” you murmur, “you want me to yell at you again.” His expression doesn’t change. But his pupils sharpen. You see it. The flash of it. That dark, sick little thing he doesn’t want to name.
You remember it. That day in the boardroom. The way he stood there, watching you unravel like it was art. Practically licking his fucking chops in the blood of a kill. Like he’d finally pulled the right string and the whole thing came tumbling down and God, wasn’t that just so satisfying.
You raise your brows now, almost playful. “Seemed like you loved it.” The air between you tightens.
Not with fear. With something else.
Something heavier. Twisted. Threaded through with adrenaline and ego and the fact that you don’t technically need to be any nicer to him than he deserves anymore- but fuck, you’ll still take the last word.
Your drink sweats in your hand. Somewhere, someone across the room laughs too loud. A champagne cork pops. Max breathes in. Sharp. Controlled. You can see the words on his tongue. You can see the war inside him- the want to snap back. To grab. To tear. But he doesn’t.
He flicks his gaze down your body instead.
Not long. Not crude. Just one slow, scalding drag of assessment. Like he’s not even sure if he’s sizing you up or taking you in. Then he tilts his head. Just a little. Voice flat. “Careful.”
You smile. Not sweet. Not kind. Just knowing. “Or what?” you say, cool and easy. “You’ll call HR? Kick me off the team?” You let the smile grow sharp. “Oh, wait. You can’t. I’m already leaving.”
His eyes narrow- barely. He’s trying so fucking hard not to react. To be cool. Detached. Unbothered. And he almost pulls it off. Almost. Because this? This isn’t a fight.
Not yet. This is play. The sick kind.
Two wild animals circling the same patch of dirt. Teeth bared, tails twitching. Neither of you quite sure if this is about dominance or the last laugh or mutual destruction- but God, don’t you both want to find out.
You take a sip of your drink. Cool and steady.
And Max- quiet, scalding Max- just stands there. Watching.
Your phone vibrates in your clutch.
You wouldn’t normally check it in the middle of a cold war reenactment with Max Verstappen, but almost everyone on your short, carefully curated no-Do-Not-Disturb list is in this room, except your parents and-
You pull it out.
Danny Ricciardo [8:42 PM] bailing on mclaren. headed your way. party still good or should we find a pub? 20 mins out
You blink. And then you smile. It hits like a burst of light- like someone cracked open a window in a room you didn’t know was suffocating you. Danny.
Your maybe-friend. Your only safe person in the entire Red Bull ecosystem. Someone who isn’t looking at you like he’s devastated you’re leaving, or like he’ll forget your name the second the paperwork clears, or like he’s waiting for God to strike you down mid-sentence.
(Max, that last one. That look is all Max.)
You type fast.
You [8:43 PM]still rolling but up to you. everyone here keeps looking at me like a kicked puppy. wouldn’t mind a drink that doesn’t have ‘compote’ or ‘infusion’ in it.
There’s no reply for a minute.
Two.
Five.
Max, then, checks his phone beside you, his thumb hovering just a little too long. You glance at him- because you can’t not- and for the first time, he looks mildly annoyed. That makes you feel excellent. The night does have hope after all. You sip your drink just to keep from smiling.
Your phone buzzes again.
Danny Ricciardo [8:51 PM]let’s go out. I’ll text when I’m close.
You straighten, pulse skipping just once. You’re not going out in this. Not with Danny. Not to a pub. Velvet dress? Ribbon hair? Absolutely not.
You glance at Max, who’s still scrolling, now with an expression like he’s trying to burn holes through his phone. Good. He can stay here with his bad mood and his weird dad. You’ve got plans. “Bye,” you murmur, not bothering to wait for him to look up.
You disappear through the side doors, heels clicking across tile. Up the stairs. Down the dim dorm hallway that’s somehow still home even when it’s already starting to forget you.
Inside your room, you move fast. Dress peeled off in one motion. You keep the nylons- they add a little warmth, and they make you feel like your legs have a little secret armor- and pull on a pair of shredded black jeans. High-rise, frayed knees, familiar as a favorite memory. A memory that is a little tight over the ass, but it’ll do.
A sleeveless top. Tighter. Cropped just enough to make your waist look like something sculpted- enough that it just barely kisses the waistband of your jeans. Black, because of course it is, but with a slight sheen that catches the dorm light.
You let your hair down. Shake it out. Pin the bow back in, low at the base of your skull.
Quick check in the mirror- yeah. That’ll do. Cute. Sharp. A little youthful. A little fuck-you. A little fuck-me.
Exactly right.
You grab your jacket. Lip gloss. Your phone. And when you leave this time, it’s not with a sense of something ending. It’s with a thrill in your chest like maybe- finally- something is about to begin. The all black is fitting- like Danny’s come to save you from your own funeral.
You’re practically skipping by the time you spot the rental SUV idling just past the front doors.
Factory lights still gleam overhead, pooling muted white against the cold pavement. You’re flushed from the party, from the hallway sprint, from the stupid quiet thrill of knowing someone actually wants to see you.
You wave once, already grinning.
Danny rolls the window down, half laughing already. “There she is! Backseat, Hollywood.”
You stop short. “What?”
He grins wider, too casual. “You’ve got the back.”
You blink. There’s a half-second- maybe less- where your brain tries to find a joke there, or context, or anything to make that sentence mean what you want it to mean.
But then you round the side and open the door-
Oh.
Okay.
That’s fine.
This is fine.
Max is in the passenger seat, half-turned toward the window, jacket collar flipped up like he’s shielding himself from the entire world. He doesn’t even look at you. Your brain tries to recalibrate.
Because you’d assumed. Of course you did. Danny texted you. Danny said let’s go out. Danny is your friend. And for a few fragile minutes, you let yourself believe that meant just you and him. That it would be easy. Familiar. Comforting.
And now-
Now you’re crawling into the backseat behind the same man you had a little verbal sparring match with not seven minutes ago. Perfect.
You clamber awkwardly across the console, half-kneeling on the leather, and stretch your arms around Danny in the world’s least ergonomic side hug.
He laughs, warm and immediate. “That’s one way to say hi.”
“You’re lucky I’m flexible,” you mutter, chin nearly in his shoulder.
“You’re lucky you smell good,” he shoots back, arms slipping around your waist just long enough to squeeze.
You pull back, cheeks pink from wind and exertion, and slide fully into the backseat.
Danny eyes you through the rearview mirror. “You look nice.”
You roll your eyes, adjusting your seatbelt. “You say that like you’re surprised.”
“No, I’m saying it like you’re trouble.”
From the front, Max shifts. Says nothing.
You glance at the back of his head. His silence is louder than the engine.
Great.
This is going to be fun.
════════════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══════════════════
You’re practically folded over the center console, laughing about something stupid- Danny said a phrase wrong, or you did, and now the two of you are tangled in some inside joke Max doesn’t understand and doesn’t want to. You’re taking up space like you live there- laughing, leaning in too close to Danny, warm in a way Max hasn’t seen from you in weeks. Maybe ever.
And it’s not just the posture. It’s the presentation.
Your hair spills over your shoulder, catching the light from the streetlamps overhead. Loose. Shiny. Feminine in a way that makes his throat tighten.
Your shirt rides up slightly at the back, just enough to reveal the soft curve of waist where the jeans cling a little too perfectly- black denim, snug in all the places that would make anyone stare, especially now, with your new body- louder, prouder, stronger than the one Max last saw at a weigh-in this summer. Sheer black nylons that aren’t entirely see-through, but just enough to make his eyes linger before he can snap them away.
He doesn’t look. He shouldn’t be looking. He isn’t looking.
But he can’t stop seeing.
He tries not to. Shifts in his seat like that’ll stop his peripheral vision from functioning. Like the heat creeping under his collar isn’t his problem to deal with.
He hates this.
Because it’s not just the way you look- it’s the way Danny’s looking at you. The way you’re looking at Danny. All warm and open and lit up from the inside. Like Danny’s safe. Like he’s yours. Like he’s seen something Max hasn’t.
There’s a ribbon in your hair.
A fucking ribbon.
Tied low, trailing down the back of your neck where your curls fall loose and messy, like you meant for them to look that soft. That touchable. But Max can’t stop looking at it. He hates that bow. He hates what it implies- what it softens. Like you’re approachable. Sweet. Like there’s anything gentle about you.
And he hates that it works.
Danny said it first- you smell good- and Max hasn’t been able to un-smell you since. Now Max can’t stop noticing. Something soft and expensive and a little sweet, something that clings to the heater vents. Wraps around his throat. It’s subtle. Effortless. Exactly the kind of scent that doesn’t try to draw attention but does anyway. Warm. Light. Clean. A little vanilla, maybe. A little powder. Something soft and domestic and utterly disarming, soaking into the the edge of his patience with every breath.
He wants to roll down the fucking window.
You look good. And that should be annoying. Just another fucking thing about you that takes up too much space. But it’s worse than annoying.
He hates all of it. He hates how cute it is. Not loud. Not styled to seduce. Just naturally, infuriatingly attractive. He wants to make Danny turn the car around. Wants to shout something just to ruin the mood you and Danny are building without even trying.
Because it undermines everything. The bow, the perfume, the gloss on your lips- none of it belongs on someone like you. Someone who’s clawed her way into every room, swinging elbows, spitting fire, refusing to take a single inch without drawing blood.
But now you’re in Danny’s car looking like this?
Like a girl?
Because for the first time- the first time- Max doesn’t see you as a rival, or a nuisance, or a pressure point to push until you scream.
For the first time, he sees you as a woman.
And he hates it. Hates that it’s you. That it’s now. That it's happening at all. Because you’re not supposed to be this. You’re supposed to be sharp edges and smug retorts. A storm in a Red Bull polo. Someone to fight with. Someone to prove wrong.
You’re not supposed to be cute.
You’re not supposed to be beautiful.
But you are.
And now you’re glowing in the backseat like some perfect fucking contradiction, all honeyed edges and storm-wrought eyes, and Max-
Max can’t breathe.
Because the same power that makes him want to throw something through a wall every time you talk is the same thing that’s pulling at his nerves right now. That’s twisting under his skin like a wire.
You are so goddamn alive.
Every room you walk into, you change the temperature.
Every time you speak, you rearrange the gravity.
Max clenches his jaw. Because the worst part- the part he can’t admit, even to himself- is that this isn’t new. Not really. That presence you carry, that fire, that thing that pisses him off every time you open your mouth- that’s what this is. You’re a problem. You’ve always been a problem.
And now he’s seeing what that problem looks like in black jeans and soft perfume and a bow tied at the back of your head like a dare. You’re not just a problem. You’re alluring. You’re dangerous. And Max is hating every single fucking second of realizing it.
When the car pulls up in front of the pub, you unclip your seatbelt with a soft click and glance between the two of them.
“I can check it out first,” you say, hand already on the door. “Make sure it’s halfway subtle. Not filled with factory staff or a Max fan club.”
Danny huffs a laugh, but you’re already slipping out- shoulders squared, leather sneakers hitting pavement with that easy, practiced rhythm that says you’ve never once considered asking permission to take up space.
You cross in front of the SUV, slicing clean through the headlights. And for a second- just a second- Max forgets to breathe.The way your hips move. The way the sheen of your tights catches the light through the ripped in the denim at the back of your thigh. The bow bouncing softly behind your hair as you go.
Danny’s eyebrows shoot up.
He’s watching, too. Staring, really. Full tilt. Blatant.
And not in the way Max is- bitter and defensive, trying to smother it before it spreads. Danny’s looking like someone genuinely pleased to see you. Someone who likes watching you walk. Someone who wouldn’t mind seeing you keep going and not come back, just so he has an excuse to follow.
And Max-
Max hates that, too.
You disappear into the pub, shoulders back, posture casual. And the moment the door swings shut behind you, Danny exhales.
“Jesus,” he mutters. “She looks good.”
Max doesn’t respond. Doesn’t look. Tries not to. But he can feel you out there, just like he’s always been able to feel it- occupying more than your share of the air.
Danny exhales through his teeth, a little laugh catching at the end. “She always like that?”
Max flicks his eyes toward him, annoyed already. “Like what?”
Danny shrugs, eyes still tracking the door you just disappeared behind. “You know. All... that.”
Max doesn’t answer. He doesn’t have an answer. He doesn’t know what that even means. The ribbon? The legs? The presence?
Danny glances at him. A little softer now. Still watching the door, but quieter. More careful. “You knew her first, man. What’s her deal?”
There’s a beat of silence.
Max could say a dozen things.
Her deal?
Where would he even start?
He could say you are stubborn. Sharp-tongued. Obsessive. You don’t bend unless something breaks you. You’re exhausting and impressive and sometimes so fucking loud in his head it drowns out everything else.
But the truth is simpler. The truth is worse.
All Max really knows is how much it takes to break you.
That’s it.
How long you can hold your breath in the fire. How much pressure you absorb before something cracks. What your voice sounds like when you’ve been holding back a scream for hours, for weeks. What it’s like to push you into a corner until the only thing left is fight.
It’s not knowledge. It’s pathology.
And it makes him feel a little sick.
He looks away, jaw tight. “I don’t know her.” And it’s the truth, but it doesn’t feel like the right thing to say. Not when Danny’s looking at him like he wants a reason to justify feeling something warm- like he’s hoping Max can explain the thing Danny’s become infatuated with. But Danny doesn’t push. Cuts himself off as your figure comes darting back across the parking lot.
You push open the car door and duck back in, breath puffing in the cold. “It’s decent,” you report, tugging your jacket tighter. “Not a lot of quiet corners, but if we can get y’all to a table fast, there’s a good chance we can get a drink or two in before the whole town realizes Verstappen’s here for pint night.”
Danny snorts and grabs the handle. “Copy that. Deploying cover fire.”
════════════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══════════════════
The three of you head inside. It’s warm, a little cramped, but charming in that British-pub-on-a-Friday kind of way. Low ceilings, scuffed wood, red walls. A few tables of locals already deep into their second round, but no one looks up long enough to register who just walked in.
You claim a booth near the back- narrow, loud, good enough- and offer to grab the drinks. Danny rattles off his usual, Max mutters his without looking up, and you head to the bar, sharp-heeled and half-smirking as you go.
You come back balancing three pints in your hands, pushing one toward each of them and settling into the seat across from both. Max takes his without thanks. Danny gives you a soft, sideways look that you pretend not to see.
Small talk kicks up, carried mostly by Danny. Easy stuff. You all pretend for ten minutes that the last few months haven’t been a professional and emotional meat grinder. You have problems. Danny has problems. Max has problems. You talk about none of them. Instead, racing gossip. Car updates. A truly unhinged story from Danny about a team principal with food poisoning in Singapore. You didn’t need to know that much about Zak Brown, honestly, but you’re laughing anyways.
And then, half a beer in, Danny leans back. One arm stretched across the booth. His gaze lands on you.
“So.” He takes a slow sip. “Hollywood. You talked to anyone since moving?”
You blink. Oh. “Like… romantically?”
He lifts a shoulder. “Or whatever you call it when it’s mutual.”
You nearly choke on your beer. You cough once, cover your mouth, and wave a hand like it’ll clear the air. “Oh my God.”
Danny laughs immediately. “That bad?”
“That’s hilarious,” you sputter, wiping your mouth. “Genuinely. Peak comedy.”
Max shifts slightly, glass still in his hand but eyes cut sharp across the table. Maybe you shouldn’t talk about your life in front of him, but honestly, there’s nothing to tell. Not really.
You shake your head. “Danny. I live in a dorm room above the factory. Everyone I interact with is either married, under the age of twenty, or- ” you gesture lazily, without even looking- “him.”
Danny turns to glance at Max and immediately huffs a laugh. “Right. Right.”
Max doesn’t blink. Just lifts his beer and takes a long, steady sip.
You lean back in your seat, finally grinning. “Where do you think I’m meeting people? The break room? Am I supposed to flirt with the espresso machine?”
Danny’s shoulders are shaking now, head tilted back in open laughter. “Listen, I don’t know your life.”
“No. But you should. Because it’s deeply, profoundly celibate. Probably for the best. I don’t really plan on doing the whole distance thing.”
Danny’s still grinning when he gestures with the rim of his pint toward you. “Okay. No distance. Fair enough. So, theoretically- if someone not married, not a minor, and not mean,” he says, throwing a glance at Max that’s almost too quick to track, “were to, say… express interest. Someone from F1. That’d be off the table?”
You raise an eyebrow. “From F1?” The suspicion in your voice is thick enough to chew on. Profound. Amused, because this is a joke, clearly.
He shrugs, feigning innocence. “What? We’re not all emotionally stunted.”
You snort. “Okay. Let’s break that down.”
Danny lifts his hands. “I’m just asking questions.”
“Uh-huh. Let’s fuck one of my new coworkers,” you say dryly, “whose dating pool is a puddle. Like, I have seen more water on the floor of my shower.” Danny nearly spits his beer, but you keep going. You’re on one, now.
“Yeah, fantastic idea. Let me join the glorious tradition of passing around the same three girlfriends like a paddock carnival prize. I’ll get murdered in my sleep by a group of jealous ex-WAGs and my tombstone will just say ‘should’ve known better.’”
Danny’s howling now, and even he looks slightly ashamed about how funny he finds it. Max hasn’t said a word, but you can feel it- the bristle, the shift in his posture. That thing he does when he’s trying to stay above it and failing completely. Like he does not want to appear to be enjoying this conversation in any manner, yet can’t quite help it.
And then he speaks. Mistake. “They’re not all like that,” he says, quiet but pointed.
You both turn to look at him. Just one of those slow, synchronized movements that would be funny if it weren’t so precise. Danny raises an eyebrow. “Oh?” You just sip your beer, staring at him over the rim.
Because if Max Verstappen- the reigning king of WAG turnover- is about to defend the honor of the grid, you’re going to need another drink.
And you both wait.
And Max?
He says nothing. Because he can’t. Because his most recent ex was literally the mother of his former teammate’s child. Kelly. Kelly fucking Piquet.
She was with Daniil. Had a baby with him. Then moved on to Max like it was a change in season. And Max, to his credit- or to his utter lack of shame- never said a word. Just took what he wanted, like he always does.
The silence stretches.
Danny takes a sip of his beer. You take another.
And the look you both give him- matching, amused, pointed- is louder than anything either of you could’ve said. Max doesn’t flinch. But the muscle in his jaw ticks.
Yeah. That’s what you thought. Down, boy.
The conversation drifts. Eventually, even Max and Danny start talking- about tire strategy, about something ridiculous Christian said in a meeting last month, about a simulator bug that made the steering rack twitch even under a full shutdown like a haunted marionette. You know the one. You had to unplug the wheel entirely each night just to keep it from scaring the shit out of you after 9 pm.
You half-listen, sipping your beer, watching the crowd thicken near the bar. Observe the slow turn of a face or two across the room- but everyone goes back to their own beers, their own conversations.
You’re part of the table, but not the conversation. Just a warm body holding one corner down. And honestly, it feels kind of nice. To not be the one driving the story. To let your posture soften, to let your brain go quiet for a minute.
Max is talking to Danny now- something about the setup in Brazil and how god-awful the outside line was that weekend. You’re half-listening, enough to track the rise and fall of his voice, the occasional gesture of his hand, but your mind drifts.
Danny is still nodding along. Still laughing in the right places. But you notice it- once, twice, then again.
His eyes keep darting over to you.
The first glance is quick. Curious, even. The second lingers longer. Long enough that you glance up and catch it. He doesn’t look away. By the third time, he’s full-on watching you.
Like you’re the most interesting thing he’s seen in weeks. Like maybe he’s not just being polite anymore.
You glance down at your drink, the rim of your glass smudged with a faint print of gloss, and try not to fidget. It’s not romantic. Not exactly. But it’s focused. Intentional. He’s looking at you like he forgot what Max was even saying.
And Max notices.
You feel it in the fractional pause in his cadence. The way his voice flattens slightly at the edges. His story loses shape. His next sentence tapers off like he’s forgotten the punchline or just doesn’t feel like delivering it anymore.
There’s a lull- brief but open- and Danny jumps on it like he’s been waiting all night for the gap. Turns to you fully.
“You really are fun, you know that?” he says, leaning a little closer, the kind of grin on his face that usually means trouble- but not in a mean way. Somewhere between beer two and beer three, and all of him just buzzing with charm and distraction.
You blink, startled out of your haze, but smile anyway. “I hope so. Would hate to be boring on top of everything else.”
Danny’s smile softens. His voice drops half a register. “No. Not just fun. Like- bright. You glow when you’re around people you like.” That makes you pause. It’s sweet. Really sweet. And unexpected. You’re not exactly sure what to do with it.
Not in a romantic way. Not really. It’s just Danny being Danny- charming, loose around the edges, ADHD running the conversation like a DJ with a broken crossfader. You’ve gathered that he’s always this side of a flirt, especially after a couple drinks. But still, something about the way he says it lands. The way his attention keeps snapping back to you like a rubber band.
You smile, wide and sheepish. “You’re just saying that because I got the drinks,” you tease, nudging his foot under the table.
Danny laughs. “Maybe. But it’s still true.”
Max, across from both of you, exhales like he’s trying not to audibly gag. And then- because he cannot help himself- he drops the hammer. “Right,” Max says, voice flat. “Just wait ‘til you see her lose it in a meeting. Then you’ll really see her glow.”
You blink.
Danny turns.
Max sips his beer, casual. Lethal. “Full meltdown. Everyone stopped talking. I think someone apologized to her, which was insane, because she was the one yelling.”
You can feel the flush rise up your chest like a fuse.
Because how dare he. You stare at him. Stunned. Furious. You can’t even speak yet.
Because he left out everything.
He left out the weeks of poking and prodding. The whispered digs. The anonymous feedback dropped into your reports. The pointed questions in front of senior staff. The deliberate redactions in your sim notes that made you look wrong even when you weren’t.
The mother-fucking-Diet-Coke.
He left out how he made you snap. Just this. This version. You, unhinged. Overreacting. Embarrassing. And now he’s feeding it to Danny like you’re some unhinged liability who just couldn’t keep her pretty little mouth shut in a meeting.
Max takes a slow sip of his beer. God, he looks so fucking pleased with himself.
But then- Danny laughs. Hard.
You blink again, confused.
Danny’s eyebrows go up. “No way. Her? C’mon.”
He looks at you, grinning. “You? You’re the meltdown type?”
Your mouth opens, words fighting their way up your throat, then closes again. Because what are you supposed to say? That it’s true? That you did raise your voice, that you did storm out, that you did send a stack of paperwork flying over the top of Max’s head and let it rain down like confetti?
That Max got what he wanted?
Danny leans back. “Nah. Don’t believe it. Not Hollywood. Not our girl.” He says our girl, like Max might share a claim to any part of you but your absolute contempt.
You glance at Max. He’s still staring into his glass. But his jaw is tight now. Just slightly. Like the moment didn’t go the way he planned. Danny bumps your foot under the table again, teasing. “You’d have to be a menace to get her to snap.”
You lean forward slightly, eyes still locked on Max, voice just loud enough to cut through the hum of the pub.
“Yeah,” you say. “A real fucking menace.”
Max doesn’t flinch. But his next sip of beer is sharp, and silent. But you can’t gloat on it for long, because there’s something about the room, the bar, the energy that’s… changing. You sneak a glance over the boys.
A couple glances from across the pub. Someone nudging someone else. A phone tilted in your direction, not discreetly enough. The laughter from your table a little too loud, your faces a little too familiar.
You’re not famous-famous. Not like them. But you’ve got enough edge now that your name rings a bell. And when you’re sitting across from two men who look very much like Max Verstappen and Daniel Ricciardo on a Friday night, wearing a shirt that fits a little too well and a bow in your hair that people seem to notice more than they should- it adds up.
You clock it before either of them. So you slide your empty glass across the table and say, “Time to go.” No one argues.
Outside, the air is colder than you expect. Your breath fogs. Max shrugs into his coat without a word. Danny smiles, easy and relaxed, spinning his keys once before offering them to you.
“You good to drive? We can get a cab if we need to.”
You nod. “One beer. You guys had, what, two? Three?”
Max grunts. Danny grins, a little shrug, boyish. “I was thirsty.”
You slide into the driver’s seat. Max takes the passenger side without asking, which- yuck. Bad manners. Danny climbs in back. The plan’s simple: drop them off at the hotel. You’ll take Danny’s rental car back to the factory, bring it back to him tomorrow.
Easy.
But when you pull up to the curb, the quiet lingers just a little too long. You put the car in park. Danny leans forward between the seats, voice low and warm.
“You want to come in? Just for a drink. Hotel bar or my room- whatever’s less weird.” You blink. Not thrown off, not uncomfortable- just surprised. Max stiffens beside you. Danny’s smile doesn’t waver. “Just to hang out. You’ve been in factory jail for weeks.”
You glance at him. Then Max. Then back again. “I mean- sure,” you say, casual. “I’ll come in for a little.”
And that’s when Max says it. “I’ll come too.”
You turn.
Danny blinks.
Max’s expression doesn’t change. Still casual. Still detached. “If we’re doing a nightcap. Why not.”
Danny hesitates. Just a beat. “You literally said you were going straight to bed.”
Max shrugs. “Changed my mind.”
You stare at him. “You really don’t have to- ”
Max cuts you off. “I want to.”
And that’s it. Decision made.
You press your lips together, amused despite yourself. Danny sighs, a little dramatic. “Alright. Boys’ night plus you, then.”
You shake your head and kill the engine. “Don’t make me regret this.”
Max’s jaw ticks as he gets out. He’s already regretting all of it. But the idea of Danny and you alone- in a hotel bar with mood lighting, or on a couch, or anywhere near a bed- is worse.
If Danny falls for you, Max won’t survive it. He is not losing custody of his best friend to you.
So tonight?
He’s not letting either of you out of his sight.
════════════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══════════════════
One drink turns into four.
You’re not even sure how. One minute you’re perched on the edge of the couch in Danny’s hotel suite, shoes still on, sipping something floral and deceptively strong. The next, you’re flat on your back on the carpet, legs splayed out under the coffee table, laugh-crying into your forearm.
You can’t breathe. You cannot breathe.
Because Max- Max- is pacing the room, red-faced and animated, shouting over Danny while they argue about whose fault it was that the side of Max’s caravan sheared off halfway through their marketing stunt at the RedBull Ring five years back.
“No, no, no- you hit me!,” Max says, pointing aggressively with his gin and tonic like it's a laser pointer of truth. “You always do this- !”
“I was being cinematic!” Danny yells, already wheezing. “It was for the shot!”
“For the shot?! It was a caravan, not a drone sequence! You tipped my caravan over!”
You’re howling.
There are tears streaming down your face. Your stomach hurts. You’re half convinced you might actually piss yourself on the floor of a Milton Keynes hotel if they keep going. And you don’t know if Max is actually funny or if you’re just drunk enough to believe he is- but either way, this is the funniest thing you’ve heard in weeks.
Maybe ever.
You manage to lift your head just enough to wheeze, “Please stop talking- I can’t breathe- ”
Danny falls off the arm of the couch, landing next to you in a heap. ““I was winning!!” he gasps again, absolutely beside himself.
Max throws his hands in the air, grinning like a lunatic. “You were going to kill us!”,
You’re laughing so hard now that it’s silent- just your mouth open, body shaking, face buried in the hotel carpet.
You should not be this happy. Not here. Not now. Not with them. But God, for the first time in months, the ache behind your ribs isn’t heavy. It’s light. Not this isn’t terrible, not this is actually kind of enjoyable, but genuine, rib cracking fun.
You can’t help but think it again, horrifyingly, as he gears up for another round of arguing with Danny. Max Verstappen- stone-faced, growling, rage-fueled Max Verstappen- might actually be funny. The world is upside-down. And you’re just drunk enough to love it.
At some point following drink four, Danny tries to scoot closer to you on the couch.
It’s not dramatic- just a lean-in, knee bumping yours, shoulder dipping slightly in your direction as he cracks open another story. You don’t really clock it. You’re still laughing, still breathless from whatever Max just said about how fucking terrible the sausages they cooked at the end were.
But Max sees it.
Max clocks it immediately.
And before Danny can even shift his weight again, Max moves- fast and thoughtless, dropping down right between you like he’s claiming a spot that was always his. “I mean, you could taste the propane,” he cuts in, reaching across you both for a half-empty can of tonic. “I think that’s when I realized I am an awful cook.”
Danny blinks. His arm is still outstretched where it was trying to find the back of the couch behind your shoulders.
Now it’s hovering awkwardly in midair behind Max’s neck.
You blink too, a little disoriented, because now Max is suddenly close- like really close- one leg pressed against yours, his shoulder brushing yours every time he gestures. He’s not even looking at you, just ranting about how Danny “none of it was the same after he left,” but the space between you has evaporated.
Danny tries again a few minutes later- after he stands to make another round of drinks, another bout of story-laugh-shouting that has you giggling into your wrist, head thrown back against the couch cushion.
Danny drops on the arm of the couch as he hands you your drink, shifts toward you. Barely. Just trying to close the distance. Maybe bump your shoulder. Maybe nudge his knee next to yours again.
Max leans back.
Elbows wide. Legs spread. Like he’s stretching- only somehow, his stretch ends with his knee fully pressed against yours and his arm slung behind you on the couch. Not quite touching you. But close enough that the heat of him is a presence. Enough to make you stand too, vacate the space Max clearly needed to manspread into, and drop down on the far side of the couch. Max between you and Danny. Again. It’s fine. It’s better even, because you can kick your feet up.
Danny narrows his eyes. Clears his throat. Mate, you are fucking this up for me.
Max doesn’t even glance at him. Doesn’t notice. Or rather, he pretends not to. Just keeps sitting there.
Because as far as he’s concerned, he’s just protecting his friend. That’s all. Keeping things in check. Hogging Danny, maybe, but only because he doesn’t want him tangled up with someone who ruins everything she touches.
That’s the reason.
And it keeps happening. You’ve noticed, even through the gin haze.
Every time Danny leans in- just slightly- Max inserts himself like it’s a sport. When Danny shifts toward you on the couch, Max shifts further. When Danny makes a joke, Max cuts in before you can answer. When Danny starts a story, Max finishes it.
You’ve moved to the armrest. Then the cushion beside it. Then leaned onto the floor with your back to the couch.
Each time, Max finds you.
It’s gotten to the point where you’re halfway through a laugh and suddenly there’s a knee pressed into yours and Max is talking again, louder, sharper- about you, at you, through you.
Like just by existing, you’ve ruined something that was his.
You try to ignore it.
Try to keep drinking. Keep smiling. Talk less, if only it means trying to hang onto the little bit of joy left in the night.
But the last straw comes when Danny tosses an arm across the back of the couch, joking about some fucked up F1-themed wedding he saw on Instagram- complete with matching helmets- and Max just has to cut in.
“Hey, maybe you can sell your wedding to SkySports,” he says, all casual menace. “Or maybe not. Wouldn’t want a public meltdown broadcasted when you go full-bridezilla.”
Your entire body stills, because what normal fucking person would ever say that?
Danny freezes, stares at Max. You stare at Max. Danny stares at Max. You stare at Max. Danny stares like his favorite dog just shit on the floor of the White House. And for a long moment, the room is just… quiet.
Then, you turn your head. Slowly. You speak. Too sweet. “Max?”
He glances over, cocky as hell.
You smile. Bright. Lethal. “I would rather lick the inside of a fucking racing boot than sit next to you for one more minute.”
Danny chokes on his drink. You stand, grab your phone, and type out a rideshare request in record time.
Max shrugs, already halfway smug. “I’m just-.”
You cut whatever bullshit he had loaded up off at the knees. “-you were just shutting the fuck up, thanks.”
You don’t even wait for a reply. Just turn to Danny- softening your expression, letting the warmth return. “Thanks for tonight,” you say, and mean it. “I had fun. I’ll see you around.”
And then you’re gone. Door swinging gently shut behind you.
Danny stares at it. Still holding his lowball glass of ice. Still seated on the couch, still half stuck in the dream where he was supposed to be the one walking you out. Getting a real date set. Maybe a kiss, if he’s being wishful. At the very least, not ending the night like this.
Max exhales. “You’re welcome.”
Danny turns slowly. “Sorry?”
Max shrugs. “You were about to make a mistake. I saved you.”
Danny just stares. “You think she’s a mistake?”
“I know she is.”
“Right.” Danny nods, lets it hang for a moment. “Cool. Cool cool cool.”
Silence.
Max sits back like it’s a game he just won. Like he didn’t just gut the night with a single, well-placed knife between her ribs.
“I liked her,” Danny says, finally. Quiet. Not for sympathy. Just the truth.
Max doesn’t say anything. Because he could see Danny liked you, at least a little. And he did fuck it up. On purpose. He watched Danny lean in- watched him light up like you were something precious- and he couldn’t let it happen.
Not because he wanted you. But because Danny did. And something about that felt too threatening. Too unstable. Too real. So he ruined it.
And he’s still not sorry.
Because in Max’s mind, he didn’t sabotage Danny’s shot with a good thing- he saved him from a bomb that hadn’t gone off yet. He just doesn’t know how to explain that in a way that doesn’t make him sound like the jealous asshole he refuses to believe he is.
So instead, he leans back. Folds his arms. And lets the disappointment settle between them, thin and quiet and heavy as sleep.
════════════════════ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══════════════════
Series Masterlist
A/N: Back from the dead with a 31 pager! Definitely struggling a little bit recently, and I hate that feeling of being 'in debt' to you guys with chapters, so I am going to try to make a push for a few releases this week, don't hate me if it doesn't go accordingly.
On my hands and knees begging for feedback and your commentary on the story as it quite literally is my only mental reward for the hours I am putting in. It makes my little ADHD brain go brrrr
#f1#max verstappen#max verstappen x reader#f1 x reader#formula one#f1 fanfic#max verstappen x y/n#max verstappen x you#mv1 fic#mv1 x reader#mv33#mv1#formula 1 x you#formula 1 x reader#formula 1
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tight squeeze

745 words / warnings - bad hero mirio
summary - you get randomly stopped and searched, which is crazy because you've never done anything to Mirio Togata (except be a villain on the run).
kinktober: day eleven - claustrophilia, anal ~~~
So fucking stupid.
Lemillion is so fucking stupid: gelled hair, citrus hyperpop costume, confusing code name, and that rosy button nose. So full of mirth and cheer. It's total bullshit.
“I don’t have anything,” you huff, hands flat out against the wall and feet spread as far as your shoulders.
“Standard search,” he mutters, palming down your hips as he lowers onto a single knee, now rearing up your thighs, “I don’t mean to invade.”
Doesn’t mean to invade, but you’re pretty sure heroes are supposed to use the backs of their hands when scouring intimate places. Not trusty Lemillion, though, he’s flatting fingers around your inner thigh and brushing knuckles against the seat of your panties. Eyes racing from the sliver of your face he can see to the bag he made you drop to up your skirt. Far too distracted matching your face to five o’clock emergency news segments to realize he’s basically massaging your cunt.
Fingertips bumbling strokes over your clit and palm grinding into your slit; you’re surprised the heat hasn’t roused his attention from your face.
Trying to stand provides a new trial, as the cramped alley doesn’t provide him enough room to step back with confidence. Mirio tries using the wall as support only to stumble and land a clumsy hand on your ass. He seizes at the realization, wide eyes darting your way to see if you’ve realized too.
You have, and you push back silently. Teasing toes into the water by wiggling your hips back into his broad hand.
Rising slowly, Mirio manages to squeeze behind you with his back flat against one wall and squishing your face into the other. One of his hands groping your ass and the other now wandering beneath you and up toward your chest. You snake down and intercept, wrenching the hand up to cup your cheek; kissing the warm tips of his fingers.
Mirio undoes the easy access slip to his dick and mumbles three Hail Marys for the public space he’s about to desecrate.
Cars speed by and men jabbering stock numbers over the phone drone the background. But God is heroism tiring, and he’s had zero time to himself in months -- any time off better spent catching up on sleep rather than aimlessly jerking off.
Now he has someone, probably as pent up as himself, hot and ready. Who would he be to not take you up?
(responsible, intelligent, a good hero)
Messily rolling up your skirt, Mirio barely manages to crush himself behind you and yank your panties to the side.
Your tongue lulls out along his fingers to suck them inside, a borderline vicious grip on his wrist to keep him in place.
With bare ass exposed, Mirio bucks sharply to envelop his cock between your warm cheeks. He leans forward with puckered lips, spit bubbling between the seam and dribbling down onto your tight hole. Thumb spreading the wetness before softly pudging the tip of his thumb inside, then slipping out -just to slip back in. Until he’s replacing his thumb with his dick.
Mirio leans over your back, curving both of you forward and pressing his fat tip against your ass. A stifled groan vibrates against your back, and you actually gasp around his fingers at the stretch.
“Ah, fuck!” you instinctually rock forward.
Mirio gives chase, prying his hand from your grip to smack your hip and squeeze hard. Forcing you back against him with breathless rasps.
“Yeah,” the blonde groans into your ear, “That’s better than you mouthing off, huh…”
“Huhah,” your legs wobble, you collapse against the wall cheek-first, “Hurts…”
“Hurts?” he slides out slowly, savoring your hiss, “Want me to stop?”
Shamefully, you tuck your head down and mumble, “N- no…”
“See, better,” Mirio kisses your temple, way over sentimental, “Just take it and you can go on your way.”
Sounds promising enough. You take it.
Grinding back with a sharp mewl, you clench around Mirio hard. Praying the stimulation prevents him from getting a clearer glance at your face.
His finger finds and fiddles your clit wetly. Sinking his teeth into the junction of your neck.
"Good, baby?" he mumbles, maybe a little self-consciously.
But it isn't like you're better, pathetically pushing back -curving a leg behind one of his to keep his hips smacking directly into yours- and wailing, "Yeah, yeah, Lem', 's fuckin' good!"
He whines so sweetly. You assume you'll be free as soon as he's cum.
#mirio x reader#bnha x reader#mirio togata x reader#mirio smut#bnha smut#mha x reader#mirio togata smut#dads kinktober
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Happy New Year!
So, I definitely missed the deadline I set for myself, and I'm really sorry!
Here's what's been going on the past few months. Ever since I discovered zero drafting (circa November 2024) I've been experimenting with it. While I’ve added a solid 50k words, there was no way I was going to publish it as it was...
Unless you want to read:
mc do circular movements with arms, lightning efx… then WOOSH they hit a tree and it fucking explodes
I've spent a lot of time lately turning all that into actual sentences and paragraphs. The fact that I really doubled down on making most of the text dynamic also slowed things down. I know people probably only read these games once, but I can't help it!
Writing and coding is hard. I really admire authors who consistently drop huge updates so fast 😫
Right now, I'm still only 70%~ finished with the new content, but since it's been too long, I'll be splitting it.
But for those curious, here's a quick rundown of the new stuff written:
A mini training scene with your chosen RO, where you can learn a move to impress your mentor with (and where a tree fucking explodes).
A 7-day training arc with a strict temporary mentor in preparation for the assessment, ending with a sparring match.
Encounters with the ROs, where you’ll start to learn more about them (sprinkled throughout the story; before, during, and after training).
The omitted content for now is the 7-day training arc and the last RO encounters before the actual assessment. If everything goes well, I might update again this month!
This year, I'm feeling very determined to focus on the game and hopefully finish it (or get close enough). I'm also planning to open a Patreon for regular sneak peeks & dev updates, early access, and some bonus content (little pieces I wrote lately to unwind) for those interested. This is all very new to me, so I'm just testing the waters!
I'll be back on January 15 with the update. For real this time!
For now, here are some sneak peeks!
Thank you for being patient! <3
#lightweaver: chosen#if wip#interactive fiction#dashingdon#choice of games#hosted games#if#if update
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GW2 RP EVENT - June 20th, NA only
A glossy two-sided invitation and menu arrive at your door in a crisp matte envelope stamped with an official-looking LAA seal.



[ID in alt text, full transcript below cut if needed]
Joining the Event: You can join the squad either by using the chat command "/sqjoin Eevee.9107" or by finding us in the RP squad LFG under "Consortium Beach Resort." You're welcome to use a Teleport-to-Friend to join if you don't want to fuss with maps. Otherwise, you can head due south from Pearl Islet Waypoint (chat code: [&BNUGAAA=] ). You can also access this area by heading south after taking the Southsun asura gate in Lion's Arch, which is flanked by a consortium officer and a lionguard NPC.
Full OOC Rules:
Adhere to the intended event tone and avoid instigating conflict. This is a role-play event, so your litmus test should be, “Would my character be asked to leave a real resort for this behavior?” If the answer is “probably,” please do not do that. I don’t want to kick anyone out, but I don’t tolerate party crashing.
OOC fighting is not permitted. Not everybody is on good terms with one another, and I don’t expect everyone to be friends, but if you have a grudge, please avoid engaging one another instead of picking a fight in this space.
Nobody is required to interact with anybody else. If someone does not want to actively RP with you (or at all!), please respect their wishes.
As the event host, I am also a role-play participant, so if you want to get involved but don’t know where to start, you’re welcome to approach me!
This is a completely open and free event - the invitations are for flavor, but it's a public location and there's no reason any character couldn't conceivably wander in and join in the festivities.
Lastly, and hopefully this won't ever be necessary - if you are repeatedly harassing others and refuse to back off when asked, you will be booted from the squad, you will be blocked, and I may stop posting my events publicly to make them harder for you to find.
Front of card:
You're Invited Join us for an evening of relaxation at the consortium Southsun Resort. Clothing Optional. Refreshments Provided. Where: Pearl Islet, Southsun Cove, NA Date: Friday, July 20th 2025 Start Time: 3pm EDT (UMT-4) Latecomers Welcome. Present this invitation to host to receive a free token of our appreciation. LAA has a zero-tolerance policy for harassment. Violators will be eaten. By attending this event, you indicate your agreement to these terms and may not sure LAA for resultant waypoint fees and/or loss of life or limb.
Back of card:
Code of Conduct 1. No harassment of fellow guests, host, or security. 2. Leave your feuds at the door. 3. Nobody is obligated to interact with anyone else. 4. If the host says to cease a behavior, cease it. Failure to comply may result in a request to leave and exclusion from future events.
Menu:
Complimentary Menu Desert-Spiced Coffee Birthday Cake Mango Pie Lemongrass Poultry Rare Veggie Pizza Stuffed Zucchini Assorted Others (while supplies last) Expanded Menu (Bar) Boiled Crawdad...72c Fish Steak...48c Stein of Highlander Beer...16c Jug of Friesson's Ale...16c Draught of Hunter's Ale...16c
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WIP excerpt for Marina behind the cut, who asked for something with Tucker and is getting “but it’s weird that it happened twice”. I wrote, like . . . twice as much of this as I meant to, haha, I kinda hit a groove here. Sorry for giving you /checks smudged writing on hand/ twice as much clone angst and teenagers in stressful situations having to handle life-threatening issues that are way out of their league with zero support from anyone who should be helping them? Yeahhhhh, nobody got on THIS blog for either of THOSE things, hahaha. Content warnings: clone degradation, chronic illness/pain, threat to the life of a minor, medical emergency. (( chrono || non-chrono ))
“Access: zero-four-three-zero-four prime!” Jazz shouts–the emergency-open code for the lab door, which Tucker hasn’t heard in a while but definitely has not forgotten–and the door’s already snapping back into the wall as she hits the bottom of the stairs, but she’s running so fast she still hits her shoulder on it as she runs through the doorway. Tucker is slightly worse at running, so manages not to have that problem, but he heard how hard her shoulder hit.
She didn’t drop the Ecto-Dejecto, though, because, like–Jazz. So yeah, no surprise there.
“DANNY!” Jazz cries–or “DANI!”, because admittedly that is unclear sometimes and can get especially unclear in crisis situations, which this absolutely is–and Tucker runs through the door after her and sees her on her knees on the floor right next to a tangled pile of barely-corporeal bodies. Dani’s crumpled down small in Danny’s arms, flickering in and out of intangibility and visibly melting, and Superboy’s still holding her hand and hasn’t let go, and is flickering in and out in perfect sync with her. Danny’s a beat behind every erratic, unpredictable flicker, but managing to keep at least mostly on the same level of tangibility as Dani’s. Enough that she’s not falling through the floor, at least.
Yet.
“Dani, you just–just for a sec, okay, you just have to concentrate enough to stabilize for a second for the epi–” Danny half-babbles at her, and Jazz’s hands flutter helplessly above Dani, her eyes wide and panicked and Danny’s voice cracked and panicked, and Dani’s skin is melting, her body is melting, her face is melting, and Tucker is useless and needs to–needs to–
“Wow, you weren’t kidding about the chrome, huh, boo?” Superboy says, and Dani–
“H-huh?” she stammers, and her flickering–skips, and–
“The chrome. There really is a fuckton of the stuff,” Superboy says, looking around the lab and cocking an eyebrow. “How do they keep it all shiny like this? Like is there a polishing schedule? Like a daily rotation?”
“M-man, I dunno, I dunno how y-you clean ch-chrome,” Dani manages with a stuttered laugh, and her flickering stops, just for a second. Stops on tangible, just for a second.
But like Danny said, a second’s all Jazz needs to jab her.
Jazz jerks out with the epi of Ecto-Dejecto and stabs it into Dani’s thigh, and Dani yelps as the needle pierces through her jeans, the yelp cutting off into a stifled hiss, and Tucker desperately needs her to not phase out again before the whole shot injects and is totally goddamn useless to help her do that, and Superboy says, “I guess we could google it or whatever? That’s what I usually do for the normie shit I don’t know shit about.”
“W-what, no c-chrome in your lab’s home-sweet-home?” Dani asks with another stuttered laugh, and Superboy grins brightly at her.
“C’mon, boo, you know I never cleaned that place, I only ever fucked it up,” he tells her jokingly, and she laughs shakily, and Jazz exhales, and pulls back the empty epi. Dani’s melting face shivers, and quivers, and slowly, slowly starts, like–unmelting, and Superboy squeezes her hand and leans down in closer to her and peers over the top of his sunglasses at her with a wider grin. “Hey, boo. There’s that pretty face again.”
Dani laughs wetly, then ducks her head with a strangled little sob of a sound and turns tighter into Danny, burying a sob against his shoulder. Tucker doesn’t know if it’s pain or stress or–what, exactly, but Ancients, he hates the sound of it. He hates it.
He knows it was a tripled-up dose in that shot. The concentrated mix. Jazz told them she was loading a triple for next time. So like, unless they used it while he was gone–unless they did that, it was a triple dose.
It was a triple dose, and even after a triple, Dani’s still taking this long to fully come back together.
Tucker really wants to like, go puke or have a freakout or something, but that would not actually be helpful right now, and it definitely wouldn’t fix anything. And like–and he needs to fix this, because that’s what he’s for in this damn fraid. That’s like–that’s just what he’s for period.
He doesn’t know how to fix this. He just–he doesn’t know. And he’s supposed to know. He’s just–supposed to.
“It hurt worse that time,” Dani croaks, then laughs helplessly past another sob; around another sob. Danny’s grip on her tightens, and Tucker sees how hard he swallows. He whips out his PDA again, and the reflex is just–
“How much worse?” he asks, ready to type in whatever she says. “Like–scale of one to ten on the pain scale, last episode and this one.”
“It just fucking hurts, Tucker!” Dani yells into Danny’s shoulder, then chokes on another sob, and it just sounds angry. Danny’s jaw tightens and he squeezes his arms around her, and she sobs in actual fury. “Vlad was too stupid to make me right and I’m gonna fall apart because he was so stupid and it just fucking hurts, okay?! It hurts!”
She hasn’t let go of Superboy’s hand, and he hasn’t let go of hers either.
“I–yeah, I know,” Tucker says, and his throat just–burns, it feels like. “It just–symptoms, okay? We need to track those, remember?”
“I don’t care!” Dani yells. “It’s stupid, it’s stupid, I don’t care, Vlad made me wrong and I’m wrong and this isn’t–this isn’t gonna work, I’m not–!”
“Dani,” Danny says, his voice tight and strangled as he hugs her closer and buries his face in her shoulder too. She just sobs again. “Dani, I swear–we’re not gonna give up. We’re gonna figure this out. We’ll figure this out even if Tucker has to kidnap, like, the whole freaking Justice League.”
“I mean I have some theories about the process,” Tucker admits, mostly because he’s hoping it’ll distract her, and Dani sobs out a laugh, and then just sobs.
“It hurt so bad,” she chokes. “It still hurts. It hurts so bad, it’s so bad, Danny!”
“I–yeah, I know,” Danny says roughly, his own voice coming out a little choked too. “I just–I know, Dani, it’s–it’s–I’ve got you. We’ve got you. Whole fraid. I swear. We’ll go back to Frostbite for the eighty billionth time, we’ll go raid Vlad’s stupid froot loop lab, we’ll–we’ll figure something out. We will.”
Tucker is actually, like, going to go insane, he’s pretty sure.
#dpxdc#data enkrypton#tucker foley#kon el#conner kent#superboy#wip: but it's weird that it happened twice#marina#clone degradation#chronic illness
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⟡ ݁₊ welcome to the end of the world! (please leave your sanity at the door.)
𝒊𝒏 𝒘𝒉𝒊𝒄𝒉 . . . four friends: nick, matt, chris, and you—find themselves stuck together at the end of the world, trying to survive a zombie apocalypse with nothing but their wits, a questionable supply of snacks, and zero emotional maturity. you’re just trying to stay alive without losing your mind—or falling for someone on the team.
𝒘𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 . . . just some violence, nothing really
CHAPTER FIVE: FLARE GUNS
read other parts here!
it’s weird, how fast things can shift.
one minute, you’re kissing matt with blood on your collarbone and adrenaline in your throat. the next, you’re climbing six flights of stairs in an abandoned apartment complex that smells like mold, rot, and regret, wondering if it’s physically possible to die from being emotionally overwhelmed and undead at the same time. nick leads the way, flashlight in one hand, crossbow in the other. he’s muttering under his breath about poor architectural design and how this place “looks like it was condemned before the zombies even showed up.”
chris is behind him, holding lieutenant whiskers like a baby and pointing dramatically at every open door like he’s in a horror movie. “if a ghost shows up, i’m suing.”
“there are no ghosts,” nick says.
“and yet i feel haunted.”
you and matt bring up the rear. well. you’re trying to focus on walking and not on how warm his hand was against your waist earlier. or how he kissed you like he wasn’t entirely sure the world would still be around tomorrow. or how you kissed him back like it didn’t matter. because now you have bigger problems.
nick said the building might be good for shelter. it’s got height, decent barricade potential, and a roof where you could maybe send a signal. maybe. it also has broken windows, weird noises, and a very unsettling stain on the third floor wall that no one wants to talk about. “okay,” nick says as you reach the top level, shining his flashlight around the open hallway. “roof access is just past that creepy-ass stairwell. if there are any zombies up here, they’re probably—”
crash.
something slams behind you. hard.
you spin around and hear the sharp, ugly snarl of something very, very undead.
“we’ve got company!” chris shouts.
from two different directions, they come—four, five, maybe six of them. fast, hungry, and cornering you in the narrow hall.
“go!” matt yells, shoving you toward the stairwell. “get to the roof!”
you all bolt. the hallway groans under your weight. lieutenant whiskers screeches. someone (nick) yells something about “tactical retreating,” which is code for run, run, run. you reach the roof access door and find—it’s locked. of course. because the universe thinks you haven’t suffered enough today.
“matt, help me break it!” you shout.
you both slam into it, again and again. the wood groans. zombies are closer now, hands clawing around the corner. finally—crack. the door bursts open. you all spill onto the roof, slamming it shut behind you. nick jams it with a pipe he found god-knows-where.
panting. sweating. not dead.
yet.
the roof is wide, open, and—bad news—totally exposed. worse news: you’re out of food, almost out of water, and surrounded on all sides by zombies. the only advantage you have is height, and that doesn’t count for much when your enemies don’t get tired and you do. “okay,” nick says between gulps of air. “what did we learn?”
“that this building sucks,” you say.
“that locked doors are the real villains,” chris adds.
lieutenant whiskers meows in agreement.
“we have to signal someone,” matt says, scanning the sky. “there’s a flare gun in my bag.” you raise an eyebrow. “you’ve had a flare gun this whole time?”
“i was saving it for an emergency.”
you gesture wildly. “what do you call this?”
“…fair.”
he pulls it out, aims it high, and fires. the flare streaks across the sky in a burst of red light. it’s beautiful and loud and dramatic—and now everything within ten miles knows exactly where you are. the moment the light fades, the groaning below gets louder.
“maybe that was a mistake,” you say.
“definitely a mistake,” nick mutters.
“hey, if anyone’s watching, they’ll come,” matt says, not sounding fully convinced. you move to the edge of the roof and stare out at the city. it’s quiet for now. broken and burning in places, but still somehow alive. matt steps beside you, arms crossed. “you okay?” he asks. you nod slowly. “just tired of almost dying. kind of hoped today would be the one day we didn’t do that.”
“same.”
you glance over at him, eyes catching for a beat too long. there’s something unspoken again—tension, electricity, something. but then—another crash. a louder one. you all turn.
the pipe holding the roof door shut just snapped.
the door creaks.
they’re coming.
and this time?
you might not all make it off this roof.
© delilahsturniolo
#sturniolo triplets#the sturniolo triplets#matt sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic#sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#matthew sturniolo#sturniolo triplets x you#sturniolo triplets x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo imagine#matthew sturniolo angst#sturniolo angst#sturniolo triplets angst#sturniolo series#matt sturniolo series#matthew sturniolo imagine#sturniolo imagine#sturniolo triplets imagines#matthew sturniolo au#sturniolo au#matt sturniolo au#zombie apocolypse au#zombie#sturniolo fandom#matt sturniolo fanfic#matthew sturniolo x you#matthew bernard sturniolo#matt sturniolo angst
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Your concentration on the situation with Gordon is broken by a piercing set of beeps. You’re tempted to ignore them - after all, you KNOW there’s been a security breach and unwelcome people are in Five and that’s being dealt with by Scott and Kayo and Alan.
But this is different. This is the alert for unexpected data transfer. A huge one. Broad spectrum and seemingly random.
Yes it’s encrypted. Yes there are a number of safeguards embedded in the storage code of Five to prevent use of this data being in any way Easy. But given the Hood hacked his way into Five in the first place and nobody yet knows how?
This could be bad. Perhaps the Mechanic might have some ideas?
Brains is still monitoring the sub when a loud beeping sound echoes around the lounge. He quickly brings up the cause of the alarm on the holo-display, and immediately, his heart drops.
Someone is stealing data from Thunderbird 5. All of the data.
There is a brief moment of silence in the lounge, and Brains notices that even @zero-xlent stops his pacing to stare at the display.
This is bad. This is very very very bad.
He is brought back into reality by MAX tugging on his hand slightly. He exchanges a glance with the robot. They have to act quickly.
Brains taps at his comms.
" @scramjettracy , can you g-give us an update of what's going on up there? @squidsinashirt and @doctorspringerspaniel keep monitoring the submarine, but I fear that it may have just been a d-distraction. The Hood is stealing data from the Tracy Island network, and with it, he could gain access to the r-rest of the Thunderbirds. @iam-themechanic we need to figure out how to stop this data breach, any ideas?"
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I know I don't owe anyone explanations—but I do feel a kind of emotional responsibility, especially since I know this space is a source of comfort for some of you. So just in case I seem a little more quiet than usual from now on:
I recently got some really heavy news about a family member's health. I'm still processing it. Still figuring out how to exist around it.
I might be less active for a while. Slower. Quieter. But I'm still here, just moving through it softly.
Thanks for holding space for that. Please take care of yourselves and each other. ♥︎

JOIN KIKI NATION HERE!
And gain your spot to vote on the occasional polls. <3
masterlist : if you want to check out my fanfics taglist request : if you want to be notified when i post a certain fic about me : if you want to know a little more about me! commissions: if you want me to write something personal for you! tags : how i tag stuff in my blog work organization / guide: to understand where everything is and how it’s organized in my blog ask the characters: in the post linked playlists and moodboards for all fics
things to keep in mind!
i write extremely slow-paced slowburns. that means you might be 300k words in before a feeling gets acknowledged. if that’s not your thing, that’s okay! no hard feelings—but my stories simply aren’t built for fast payoffs or casual reading.
my stories are not easy to read. they’re very detailed and you have to pay a lot of attention and dissect everything. more about this is explained in my FAQ. if you can’t digest that type of stories, that’s okay, but please let people who like that enjoy it.
all of my stories are written in limited point of view. you are reading from inside the character’s head—their thoughts, their feelings, their assumptions. that means unreliable narration. they will misinterpret things, make flawed judgments, and romanticize behaviors they shouldn’t. that is on purpose. you are expected to separate character perspective from authorial intent.
i have zero tolerance for bad faith, hostility, or discourse bait. if you come here to stir conflict, guilt-trip, or manufacture outrage—especially by willfully misinterpreting posts or fic content—you will be blocked. if your engagement isn’t in good faith, you’re not part of this community—and I’m not obligated to make room for that energy.
supporting plagiarism is a choice. if you make that choice in any way (be it comments, reblogs or hype) kindly show yourself out. this space values originality and respect the work that goes into it.
update schedule is explained in the faq. check it before asking.
this blog is diehard ot7. negativity toward any member will not be tolerated and will be removed.
if you make a post about my fics, use the tag format. for example, tag fuck me up as #fmu and include the character (#fmu!jungkook) so i can find it and interact with you.
ask away, but read FAQ first ❤︎︎
— if you disregard FAQ, your ask will be disregarded too.
LATEST FⵊC UPDATES
Fuck Me Up | FMU — chapter 24
The 25th Hour | 25H — chapter 10
Kkangpae | KGP — chapter 19
Altars in Shallow Waters | ASW — chapter 5
5 Seconds To Freedom | 5STF — chapter 1
We Grew Up somewhere along the way | WGU — chapter 1
Code : Epitaph | C:E — chapter 1
find me on:
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sneak peeks, large snippets and early access on my ko-fi
i don’t have any other accs. if you see anybody impersonating me, let me know.
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guys, guys, guys. jax isn't an npc; he's a game dev/mod who got trapped in the circus.

i'm sure someone has already put forth this theory, but with the series still being in its early stages, it's hard to say exactly which direction it's going. while i don't think the npc theory is bad, i think it lacks a foundation and is more so the fandom's attempt to justify jax's moral greyness or give him depth where there currently isn't any. i just wanted to share some of my own thoughts about what his deal might be.

firstly, his design, which is honestly just my own speculation but bear with me. i know goose made some jokes about his clothes being farmer's overalls, but when i look at him, i almost get mechanic vibes? like if he wasn't such a prick, he'd be in charge of fixing any bugs that crop up during the adventures, which is pretty much what a moderator does.

speaking of which, he has keys to all the rooms, which is already pretty sketchy in itself, but it makes sense if you consider that he helped make the circus. naturally, he'd have them on hand in case he needed to access any areas of potential danger. to me, it's a bit like having cheat codes, which definitely gives him an upper hand above the other circus members. (but again, it's not like he's ever going to do his job.)


there's also the "figurine thing," which is probably either a throwaway joke or a thinly-veiled attempt at foreshadowing the npcs-- since their models resemble figurines-- but it's still worth noting. if we assume that the "figurine thing" is referring to the npcs-- which it probably isn't, but again, bear with me-- then it shows just how much jax knows about the circus. as far as i remember, none of the other characters have ever brought up the outside of the map, but obviously, if jax made the game, he's going to know its layouts and inner workings like the back of his hand. i won't go so far as to say he's all-knowing, but i'm sure he knows a lot more than he lets on, and i have a feeling we're going to see that in later episodes.


if he really can predict caine's adventures and whatnot, since he designed them, it explains why he's so unfazed by everything that happens at the circus, from zooble getting taken by the gloinks to running into the gloink queen. the only time he really seems to be surprised is when the game glitches-- when the one gloink started bugging out, when kaufmo abstracted, etc.
i think the mod theory explains jax's personality and motivations. when he first arrived at the circus, there might've been a time when he acted more responsibly, fixing all the bugs, trying to stop the abstractions, etc. he could've been caine's right-hand at keeping everything under control. but maybe he slowly gave up these responsibilities when he realized that people were going to get abstracted no matter what, as we can see from the crossed-off doors in the pilot. it's very possible that he became consumed by his mod privileges when he began acting more recklessly and faced zero repercussions for his actions. essentially, he's a step above everyone else in terms of knowledge, awareness, and grants of power-- probably just below caine on the power ladder, though pomni could also rival him as she comes to learn more about the circus. depending on how jax uses his abilities, he could either help everyone find the exit or slowly lead them towards abstraction, and given what goose has said about the future of the series, it's not looking very optimistic for anyone involved.
but what do i know? this theory could be completely nonsensical and riddled with plot holes. i just like to hyperanalyze jokes 🥲
#the amazing digital circus#the amazing digital circus jax#tadc#tadc jax#tadc pomni#the amazing digital circus pomni#tadc ragatha#the amazing digital circus ragatha#tadc caine#the amazing digital circus caine#glitch studios#tadc theory#character analysis#tadc gangle#the amazing digital circus gangle#adding a ton of tags bc i spent way too much time on this#tadc kinger#tadc zooble
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