#After writing this I’m becoming more and more scared for what we’ll see in double

[laniemae]

The sexualisation of Mikoto, stalking, and how the fandom is repeating this.

CW: Stalking, sexual harassment, fanservice, murder

I’ve been thinking a lot about Double’s thumbnail, and especially the stalking theory. And if you think about it a lot basically everything fits up and that his victim was likely his stalker. Although a lot about what happened I never really have seen discussion on the why or how it’s been happening, so I just want to give my thoughts and theories on this all before Double.

The fanservice in MeMe:

The fanservice in MeMe has always felt really off to me. Milgram never has any fanservice-y stuff, minus Yuno in Tear Drop, but it’s only just her revealing outfit and nothing to do with strange camera angles or whatnot, and it’s very important to her character. For me and what I’ve think the consensus in the fandom has been, is it’s nothing more than that. That the fanservice is only there to appeal to thirsty fans or whatever. But I’ve been thinking a lot, and with the music videos extracted from prisoners minds, everything has a meaning in one way or the other. So for the creators to just throw a bunch of fanservice scenes in MeMe with no meaning apart from just plain fanservice feels really counter intuitive to the whole point of the MVs. And especially how this has never happened before makes it really strange to me. And with this idea in mind and going back to the stalking theory I mentioned earlier, I think it’s disgustingly clear what has happened to Mikoto.

Mikoto being watched:

I think what’s going on is that Mikoto was stalked for sexual reasons. The constant scenes of him in embarrassing moments (taking of his shirt, having a shower, having a bath) is what the stalker has been seeing and this subconsciously put itself into MeMe from Mikoto’s POV. Camera imagery in MeMe is very prevalent, from at the beginning him grabbing the camera and at the end him picking it up and punching it. I think this is supposed to represent him realising he’s being stalked and trying to hunt down who’s been doing it, and the destruction of the camera at the end to represent him killing the person. 

Also around the middle of the song, we see security cam footage of him entering his apartment and crying on his couch, with Mikoto hyperventilating and gasping in the background. I feel like with everything I’ve said before this scene makes it extremely clear, that someone put up a bunch of camera around his house to catch him in those moments, if we’re taking that scene literally.

Then it cuts to him laughing at the screen in darkness, and the aforementioned fanservice scene right after this sequence of events really makes things scary to what was happening in his house. And also like I said before about the hyperventilating during this scene. I could mean multiple things such as him having a panic attack, being actually attacked or worse.

And the imagery of being watched doesn’t stop at just the camera stuff. At the beginning of MeMe in the scene at the train station, the camera moves around from behind a wall to reveal Mikoto sitting there holding a bat, like someone is watching him directly. To further back this up there’s a vignette around the edge of the camera and wee see it blink, like from a POV shot. And after the blink Mikoto disappears, and then we see him outside swinging a bat at the POV (just want to note this is outside and is probably in a different place than the train station, but I don’t know what to make of that right now, and how also the vignette I pointed out before isn’t present here). Then it cuts back to the scene in the train station, now with Mikoto holding a bat and walking towards someone on the ground, attacking them. Noticeably the vignette is still here in this scene, so the person Mikoto was attacking likely wasn’t his stalker, perhaps he just thought they were.

Wait I suddenly just got a theory from this. I just mentioned how the vignette in the scene I just mentioned likely means that Mikoto attacked someone else and the stalker was watching on. Me and basically everyone else has assumed that guy was his victim, but then what about the stalker? I’ve always strongly believed that Mikoto only killed one person but now I’m just starting to doubt that. If MeMe is to be taken in chronological order in this part, he probably killed that guy then realised that he was continuing being stalked. And as I said at the beginning of my analysis I mentioned that Mikoto punching the camera at the end could be representative of him killing the stalker and ending it (also to mention he gets the death card right before hand). And I didn’t think of it when I wrote that but what if he did actually kill multiple people in an attempt to kill his stalker. Hmm.

And going back to what I was talking about before, he probably entered his apartment afterwards and switched to Bluekoto after it was assumed everything was safe now. (Just saying I’m using Mikoto interchangeably to refer to all of the alters as it’s not clear who’s doing what, but this takes the theory of that blue was the murderer and not the other/s into account, because there’s a part of me that feels it wasn’t him attacking those people as red/green has a strong desire to protect blue and hide him from the traumatic events taking place).

I feel like I’ve gone way off track with what I’ve been saying here because while writing this I just keep noticing more and more stuff to write down and I just thought of someone thing again.

Every time it appears that Mikoto killed someone (the train scene, the garbage scene although the bag doesn’t look like a human body just saying), it cuts to a fanservice-y scene right after, maybe implying that the person he killed wasn’t the stalker, and he’s still being watched afterwards. Although this makes the bath scene kinda out of place as it doesn’t take place after a murder I think, and someone mentioned it was before the shower scene which kinda debunks this but I just wanted to mention this because why not.

Mikoto’s mindscape in MeMe:

Another thing I’ve been thinking about a lot is every character’s “mindscapes” as I call them. Yuno has an empty pink void with a tower, Fuuta has a fantasy land, Mahiru has a room inside a birdcage ect. And all of these places represent an aspect of their characters. Yuno’s representing her feelings of emptiness, Fuuta feeling that everything he’s doing is for justice and that he’s a cool hero, Mahiru being trapped and sheltered in an ideal concept of love and stuff like that. I’m going to make a theory on this in the future as it’s very interesting to me but Mikoto’s mindscape is always something that’s confused me.

Mikoto’s mindscape is a parallel of his apartment. Down to the couches, tables and everything, but lacking the bookcase and tv being buried in the water for whatever reason.

(Also I just noticed but there’s a blue thing behind the couch that Mikoto laid his head down on before which could be a bed or whatever. But in the mindscape and this other shot we don’t see it???)

(Actually maybe we do if we squint, oh well)

Okay, okay back to what I was actually going to say. The furniture from the apartment appearing in the mindscape makes sense, but what about everything else? The broken, tiled walls, the mirror, how everything is covered in a thin layer of water, the clear blue sky. There’s a bunch of this stuff I could analyse in my future post about mindscapes but I’ll just say the stuff that relates to what I was talking about earlier. But to say it right now, I think all that other stuff is supposed to be the bathroom we see him in.

Notice here the tiles are exactly the same, and we even see the same mirror he looks at himself in, in real life then Mikoto in the mindscape.

Also to point out how the Mikoto we see looking into the mirror here is wearing a sleeve and likely in the mindscape and as someone mentioned, since the ahoge is backwards it’s likely a reflection. Although it’s strange that it has the same green filter both ways.

After this we see bluekoto (presumably) fall backwards into the water. And another strange thing I noticed is that this mirror is behind the couch, but when he falls down the couch is tipped over.

Don’t know what it make of this but again I’m just constantly pointing stuff out I notice as writing this.

So basically I think the mindscape is a mix of the living room and the bathroom. The furniture from the living room and the water, mirror and tiles from the bathroom. But this makes things confusing, why the bathroom? Why would Mikoto project imagery of his bathroom into his own mindscape? This brings me to what I was saying before. The walls in the mindscape are completely collapsed, providing no closure or privacy to this “room”. The sky is also out, so his mindscape feels very exposed. And what I said earlier about my staking theory. It’s likely that someone placed cameras up in/around his bathroom to record him naked, a complete breach of privacy and that’s why this mindscape is so exposed and has elements from there. Even in this world that he created, he still doesn’t feel safe at all.

The audience and the repeating of Mikoto’s trauma:

Basically to sum it up from what I’ve said. Mikoto was being stalked and sexualised by someone. Cameras were placed up around his house to record him in embarrassing situations and he figured out, and attempted to kill the stalker.

But here’s one thing, that story we likely see in MeMe is happening again. But with the audience.

When MeMe came out everyone went ballistic. Lots of people were very surprised in how violent it was, how compared to the calm preview we saw it instantly started off with death metal and destroyed every idea we had about him, and kept switching between being calm and violent. But what I want to walk about right now is the reaction to the fanservice.

As we all know, when MeMe released a horde of thirsty tiktokers came over and started absolutely obsessing over Mikoto and all the fanservice scenes we see. Things got so out of control that people tried to vote him innocent just because he was hot and even jackalope bought this up. But thinking about this, it’s getting dangerously close to what I think happened in his story. Being filmed in embarrassing moments without consent, and having people obsess and sexualise you for that. The music videos are representative of the prisoner’s minds, and in no way would have Mikoto known how he was shown naked and shirtless for a huge chunk of MeMe. Same as him being stalked and recorded in his story if I’m right.

The fandom here is doing exactly what his perpetrator did to him down to a T. It’s almost like what happened with Amane when people tried to reverse her brainwashing by showing her tough love by not forgiving her, exactly like what the cult did to her to try and make her obey them more. This thing is happening to Mikoto as well as Amane and repeating their traumas. And also to mention how Mikoto has DID which is a result of repeated childhood abuse so it’s likely this has been happening to him alot and just can’t escape from this reality. And for the alters to take in all the trauma and leave the host blissfully unaware of everything’s that’s happening.

This brings into account how the guilty prisoners can hear the voices of the audience judging them. Fuuta completely broke down as he was constantly harassed with strange voices judging him and denying his actions. And he’s mentioned a lot of times how he can’t stand this feeling of being watched and this manifests through the eyes in Backdraft. And with Mikoto from everything I’ve been saying before it’s very likely he has trauma from this. And now feeling like he’s being watched and hearing the voices of the audience, who we know constantly sexualises him. It’s likely he’ll have to relive his trauma once again that he thought he finally escaped…

Conclusion / TL;DR

To sum this whole theory up I believe that fanservice in MeMe actually has importance besides just fanservice. And it’s likely Mikoto was being stalked by someone and recorded in those situations, and he ended up hunting the person down and killing them. And now because of the audience’s constant thirsting over him and how the guilty prisoners can hear everything we say about them, Mikoto will have to relive his suffering again.

Other things I’d like to briefly mention but didn’t have any space to put in, Is how since Mikoto rides a bike instead of a train to work as he said but we see lots of train imagery. And I think what happened is that he was probably being harassed on the train and switched to going to work alone. And the thumbnail in Double we see him looking depressed, on a train surrounded by destroyed mannequins.

[theteasetwrites]

ahhhh I’ve been binging the beginning series since I discovered ur account recently and I have so many fav moments i don’t think I could put it in one ask 😭

1. reader hallucinating aaron when she had the flu in the prison - idk there’s just something about this moment that just hits every time + them singing we’ll meet again was just so sweet

2. literally any moment of the Dixon family - theyre just so cute and sweet and dad daryl always gets me like DILF DILF DILF 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

3. reader defending robin and Lydia from gage, margo, and alfred- I love it when she gets protective of her family and my girl lydia didnt deserve to be bullied by them + those three needed to be shut up fr

4. reader getting pissed off at carol for putting daryl and Lydia in danger s10 - man I love carol and I was so sad for her but she was pissing me off too when she wasn’t thinking about how her actions could hurt others and herself + her almost getting magna, connie, jerry, aaron, daryl, Kelly, and reader killed 😐

5. chapter 76 when beta comes into the dixon’s home and robin is hiding - this entire scene terrified me lmfao I was so scared for robin but also so proud of her for trying to be brave + dog getting injured to protect her :( was so glad when rosita came and saved her 🙏

That’s all for now but I’m pretty sure I’ll be sending more later when I remember something 😁 I love the series sm and ur such an amazing writer! I’ve only recently got into twd again after I stopped watching a long time ago and this fic fueled my love for the show and Daryl 🫶 So sad it’s coming to an end but it was a really good run and I cant wait to see what the last few chapters have in store for us!!! - 🪐

Oh wow ok I will say a little thing about all those scenes too haha

Omg I love that scene too! I don't think anyone has ever mentioned it really, but I love it. It's the first time where we see someone hallucinating in the series, which has become a recurring theme lol. And it's the first time we "see" Aaron (tho at that point I still hadn't revealed who he was because I wanted to be sneaky lol). And I loved referencing that song We'll Meet Again. It's so haunting and yet so pretty. It fits with the whole series really well I think.

YEAH. Daryl being a daddy is the hottest cutest thing ever!! And now he's got two kids??? Double dilf.

Dude I reread that scene myself so much because I just love reader defending her family. I think she defends her family a lot in season 10 which is really sweet. I love how she brings Lydia into their family. Lydia deserved more screen time and more scenes that just show her with Daryl and being apart of the family. At least I get to include that in my story.

Right??? Like I said, I think we really see reader standing up for her family in season 10 which is awesome. I love when she is kinda saucy and sassy and doesn't take anyone's shit. She doesn't do it very often, but when she does, it's very satisfying I must say. I think she was just fed up with Carol's selfishness, and tbh, Daryl wasn't being great either. I had to write him as still helping Carol like he did in the show, but that meant for some strain in his relationship with reader in my series. But I mean, there's no such thing as a relationship that doesn't have its ups and downs so I think it worked out.

Oh I reread that scene all the time too! Robin is so cute and brave. I loved writing in that little scene. And Dog... my heart. I just love the implication that Daryl has Dog trained to protect Robin and reader too lol. You know he absolutely would do something like that.

Thank you so much! It's always so amazing to hear when someone says that my stories brought them back to TWD. I consider it among one of the highest compliments. <3

[animeomegas]

Omega!Bakugou headcanons

Anon: Pssssss imma need some more omega Bakugou like now no it make him jealous too because why not

AND

Anon: hi! could you do some omega!bakugou x male alpha!reader? nsfw and sfw pls <3

nesting too pls!! idk why but I love the idea of nesting sjdjsnd, pregnant bakugou fluff would be lovely too <3

AND

Anon: Hi I was wonder if you could do omega Bakugou sfw and nsfw please 🥺

(Hey, everyone!! Bakugou is very popular in my inbox! Okay, let’s write some omega!Bakugou headcanons <3 I have another request for pregnant!Bakugou, so I’ll add that part of the middle request to another post 😊 Also, I only write for a gender neutral reader. I hope you all enjoy~)

Warnings: N-sfw under a cut, suggestive behaviour multiple times not under the cut.

Nesting:

Bakugou is not an omega who is big on nesting. He does nest and he’s very proud of his nest, but he doesn’t feel the urge to nest super often.

He doesn’t keep a permanent, all year-round nest, he’s kind of a clean freak so having to constantly clean all the blankets in his nest would drive his nuts.

He does nest during his heat and late term pregnancy, and also after periods of extreme stress, but not often outside of these times.

But if he knows his alpha likes his nests, he might build them for his alpha when they’re stressed, although he’ll claim he just felt like making it and it shouldn’t go to waste.

It’s not a very convincing lie.

His nest is not in a very popular style, mainly because Bakugou overheats so easily.

It’s a simple double mattress on a very low frame, with a couple of pillows and sheet like blankets that he normally uses as a base rather than a covering.

He has a black and red colour scheme that he thinks is the coolest thing ever, and he definitely has an All Might pillow hidden somewhere at the back that he threatens his alpha to keep a secret, it’s very cute.

He likes his nest to be in an easily defendable position, whether that be inside a large cupboard or wardrobe, or a small room with one door and a small window.

Bakugou also keeps a mini fridge by his nest, as a lot of omegas do, to store water and food, but what he has that a lot of omegas don’t, is a mini freezer too.

He keeps ice packs and ice lollies in there to help when he’s in heat because his temperature tends to get way too high.

Bakugou doesn’t like being vulnerable, so his nest is a sensitive topic for him.

It takes him quite a while to let his alpha into his nest, but he’s quicker to let them chill outside of it, holding his hand and keeping him company. He would probably let them outside his nest after courting for a year and knowing them for at least two years. When he lets them inside depends on a lot of factors, including how well they deal with him from the outside of his nest. It could be anywhere from three months to another year.

Pups:

Bakugou has always wanted some pups, but in a removed and distant kind of way. After all, becoming the No. 1 hero was far more important than any of that ‘family’ nonsense.

He only really considers pups when he’s in a very committed relationship and at a comfortable place in his career. He’s not prepared to take time off at a vulnerable career moment, after all.

Bakugou wants two children, because, while he would never admit it, he always wished he had a sibling when he was a kid, so he wants to give that to his children.

But he’s very conflicted about it.

Firstly, two pregnancy leaves would be a huge blow to his career. Prime hero years and prime ‘having children years’ are the same years, so in a way, he has to decide how to balance these two priorities. He isn’t sure he wants to risk his career with that much leave so close together (heroes can’t be in the field while pregnant at all, so it would be a huge sacrifice.)

Secondly, he’s nervous about how useless he would likely feel while pregnant. He’s a workaholic and being confined to his house and losing control over his quirk would drive him nuts.

So, he doesn’t really know what to do. He doesn’t share any of his concerns with his alpha, but he does take their wishes into account too. If his alpha really wants two children, Bakugou does keep that in mind. But he’s not a push over. If he decides that two maternity leaves are too many, then it’s too many. It’s his body and he won’t let anyone tell him otherwise.

So, with all this in mind, Bakugou is fucking thrilled when he finds out he’s having twins.

Two pups for the price of one pregnancy leave?? Sign him the hell up!

Bakugou has twin boys, both alphas, and Bakugou just cannot believe his luck that all his problems just fixed themselves.

“But I don’t want to go!” came a defiant voice from the back seat of the car. Both you and Bakugou sighed, not keen on restarting the disagreement that had plagued the household for the entire morning. It had taken twice as long as normal this morning to get the twins dressed and in the car because of this very argument.

You could see Bakugou about to open his mouth to tell him that they had to, but you held up a hand to stop him.

“Why don’t you want to go, sweetheart?” you cooed at your oldest son.

“I don’t want you and daddy to leave…” whimpered your youngest son, answering in his brother’s stead.

Bakugou winced and reached a hand into the back and squeezed each of his son’s hands in turn.

“I know.” He said simply. You could feel his guilt, even though you both knew it was the best for all of you that the twins get used to nursery so that both you and Bakugou could go back to focusing on your careers. They would be fine, you tried to convince yourself. Millions of kids do this every year and it works out fine.

The nursery came into view, and you refocused your attention onto finding a parking space in the little car park on the side of the building. You could hear your sons shifting anxiously in the back and it pulled at your heart strings. You pulled into an empty space and turned off the engine. You and Bakugou shared a single look before moving to get your children out of the car with practiced ease.

“No,” your eldest son shouted. “I’m not going to go. I’m staying here!”

You had tried to take him out of the car seat, but he had refused to cooperate. You didn’t want to pull him out in case you hurt him. Bakugou came to stand behind you, your youngest son clutching his neck desperately.

“Let me talk to him,” he spoke softly, handing the younger twin over into your arms.

“Hey,” Bakugou said softly, leaning down to peer inside the car where his eldest son stubbornly sat with his arms crossed. “It’s okay to be scared to go to nursery, you know.”

Your oldest son visibly flinched and avoided looking at Bakugou in the eyes.

“I’m not scared, daddy. I just don’t want to.”

“Uh huh,” Bakugou said, eyebrow raised.

“I’m not!” Your son exploded. When he realised that he’d just shouted at his father, the colour drained from his face and his bottom lip started to quiver. Bakugou wordlessly held out his arms and his eldest son accepted the embrace just in time to burst into heavy tears on Bakugou’s shoulder.

“It’s alright,” Bakugou hushed. “I’m not angry at you.”

In your arms, your youngest son was watching his brother cry and letting out little whimpers into your neck. You rubbed his back soothingly and whispered that everything was going to okay.

Out of the corner of your eye, you realised another parent was staring judgementally at your family. Bakugou clearly also noticed because he bared his teeth as a warning and the parent quickly moved on. You scoffed at the idiot who thought it was a good idea to antagonise an omega who was looking after a distraught pup, let alone when said omega was a top ten hero.

“W-What if they don’t l-like me?” your eldest whimpered out.

“Here,” Bakugou wiped some of the tears away with his thumb. “How about this, you tell me if anyone is mean to you and I’ll sort it out, how does that sound?”

“But…” your son hesitated. “But what will you do?”

Bakugou grinned.

“I’ll make their parents regret doing such a shitty job at parenting.”

You gasped, halfway between scandalised and amused.

“Katsuki!” you reprimanded and smacked his lightly on the shoulder.

It did seem to cheer up your sons, though, who were now giggling at your antics.

“Daddy said a bad word,” your youngest twin giggled to you.

“He did,” you pressed your lips together. “And it was very naughty of him.”

Bakugou rolled his eyes and instead placed the pup in his arms on the floor, taking him by the hand. You did the same and slowly, you both made your way toward the school gate. The mood dropped, but neither of your children tried to resist.

You could see a teacher standing at the gate to escort the new students and you made your way over.

“Remember,” Bakugou said before you reached the gate, stopping you all for a moment. “We’ll be back in this many hours,” he held up three fingers. “Can you guys tell me how many this is?”

“One… two… three…” they both said together.

“That’s right! See? You guys are going to be the smartest ones in there,” Bakugou boasted, ruffling their hair.

“Careful,” you teased. “They’ll turn into you.”

“Are you saying I’m always the smartest person in the room?” Bakugou grinned back.

“No, I’m saying you always think you’re the smartest person in the room.”

“Oi!” he growled, knocking his shoulder with yours. The pups giggled again, seeming to be in higher spirits. You escorted them to the gate at the front of the playground and let the teacher introduce herself.

And with one final goodbye, your pups were off into the nursery and out of sight.

You and Bakugou walked to the car in silence, digesting what had happened and processing that your little ones were now old enough for nursery. You both slipped back into the car and began the drive home.

It was weird to think that your children were neither with you, nor at home waiting for you, but that kind of existential deep dive could wait until later.

Bakugou’s hand settled just a little bit too high on your thigh. For the moment, it was time to appreciate the novelty of an empty house.

 Jealously:

I don’t think anyone would be very surprised to find out that Bakugou can get quite jealous on occasion.

In the early days of your relationship, he’s very nervous that his alpha is going to find a ‘better’ omega, an omega who is more traditional, and leave him for them. It takes a lot of bravery for him to leave himself vulnerable to being abandoned, and occasionally the insecurities seep through.

He hates the whiny, simpering omegas that plaster themselves onto the nearest alpha, and it makes him furious to see anyone doing that to you.

He has no subtlety, no brooding angst, he just threatens the other omega(s) away to their face, and then drags you somewhere private to cover you in his scent.

Later in the relationship, things change. He’s extremely confident that his alpha is his. Why would they ever leave him? He’s the best fucking omega ever!

Instead, he gets jealous if he isn’t getting enough attention because you’re spending too much time with someone else.

He doesn’t do this in a possessive way, it’s just that he doesn’t get a whole lot of free time and when his alpha spends that free time with someone else? Another omega? He’s pissed.

He gets surly and passive aggressive about it, and it’s extremely obvious.

The best way to fix it is to just give him lots of attention, he won’t behave like this is you have to leave for something important (he understands duty like the best of them), so it’s very easy to address.

Bakugou idly stirred a pot of miso soup as the radio in the kitchen blasted out whatever awful top 40 song it had picked this morning. He had only put it on to fill the silence really, which was the only thing this awful excuse for music was good for in his opinion.

He was making breakfast for the two of you as a kind of mini celebration. He had two days off in a row, the first time in a couple of months because of his crazy work schedule and he wanted to make sure he spent every moment that he could with his alpha. And so, here he was, getting up early to prepare breakfast for your both.

There was a lull in noise as the radio switched between songs, and in the few moments of silence, Bakugou could hear shuffling coming from the bathroom. He grinned. Perfect timing.

He put down the last plate and waited for you to come out, you should be here any second now.

 Fiddling with your shirt one last time you swung open your bedroom door, bag on your shoulder, finally ready to leave. You were interrupted momentarily by a delicious scent in the air. Bakugou must be cooking, so you followed the smell to the kitchen and walked in to say goodbye to him, vaguely sad that you were going to be missing his food, but he was probably only making himself something to bring to work, anyway.

And then you saw the elaborate breakfast spread your heart stopped. Had you forgotten an anniversary? Bakugou looked just as shocked to see you dressed up and ready to leave. However, his shock soon melts into frustration.

“Why are you all dressed up?” he growled, the excitement that had been on his face when you walked in now gone. “You said you weren’t working today.”

“I’m not,” you said quietly, confused as to why he was so upset. “Izuku messaged me while I was getting dressed and invited me for brunch, I was just going to meet him.”

Bakugou’s face screwed up at your words. He went to open his mouth but then stopped. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. He was doing the breathing exercises that his therapist taught him for when he was angry. What had you done to make him this upset?

The relaxing exercises clearly weren’t working for him because he stood up from the table and stalked out of the room suddenly, shutting himself in your bedroom. You winced as the door slammed shut behind him.

Oh dear… you had made your mate so upset that he had shut himself away in your bedroom. Your stomach twisted itself into a knot. It was time for some damage control (and a quick check of the calendar to makes sure you hadn’t actually forgotten an anniversary or something.)

You shot a quick text to Midoriya, apologising for cancelling and letting him know that something had come up. He sent back a ‘don’t worry!’ message and about six smiling emojis. Well, at least he wasn’t also mad at you.

Fishing out a tray from the cupboard above the sink, you stacked it up with as much food from the table as you could, thankful that it appeared to still be warm, and carried it to your bedroom door.

“Katsuki?” you called out, knocking on the door with your foot. “I’m coming in, is that okay?”

There was silence. Well, silence was better than swearing, so you carefully slid open the door and moved towards the brooding lump on the bed.

“The fuck do you want?” he growled. “I thought you were going out to eat with Deku?”

You froze at his vicious tone. Was he jealous? Well, that was a lot easier to solve than forgetting an anniversary, at least.  With a smile, you slid the tray onto the bedside table and climbed on the bed behind you mate, letting out a reassuring scent. You wrapped your arms around him, ignoring how he tensed in your embrace, and whispered into his ear.

“Why would I spend time with Midoriya when I could be spending time with you, hmm?” you whispered, purposefully blowing hot air onto his neck. You revelled in his full body shiver. “The only reason I accepted plans with Midoriya was because I thought you were going to work.” You pressed as close to him as you could and placed a single kiss right behind his ear. Bakugou melted at the affection.

“Come on now,” you continued, a coy smile on your face. “Let’s not let this delicious breakfast go to waste.”

You reached over and scooped a little bit of rice onto your fingers before holding it up to his lips. Bakugou opened his mouth with only a small grumble in complaint, and you made sure to push your fingers a little deeper inside than perhaps absolutely necessary.

“I promise I’ll make this morning’s misunderstanding up to you.”

Miscellaneous:

Bakugou’s scent is fairly sweet but still quite smoky.

When he’s upset/stressed, his scent is like burnt sugar, and when he’s very happy/excited, he smells like almost like a marshmallow roasting on a bonfire.

It’s a very pleasant scent but it does tend to divide people. Some love it, and others hate it.  Bakugou doesn’t care what anyone else thinks about his scent (except his alpha, but shh, that’s a secret!)

In his family, his father is an omega and his mother is an alpha and while they are happy together, Bakugou always promised himself that he would never end up in a relationship like that. He didn’t want some alpha bossing him around like his mother bossed around his father.

Bakugou finds meek alphas (and people) annoying, but he doesn’t like super aggressive alphas either. He’s attracted to people who exist in the middle of those extremes.

Bakugou knew he was an omega from birth, and it was something he was very insecure about for a long time. It was a big part of why he turned out the way he did as a child, he was making up for something that he viewed as a weakness by being as aggressive as possible.

His mother wasn’t great at making him feel secure in his secondary gender, assuming he would like certain things and pushing him in certain directions simply because he was an omega.

His father said that he was there if Bakugou had any questions, but he let Bakugou reach out to him instead of reaching out to Bakugou, and Bakugou was too proud to make the first move.

Bakugou ends up deciding that being an omega wasn’t going to stop him becoming the No. 1 hero. He decided that he could overcome being an omega.

It wasn’t until he was an adult that he actually started to accept being an omega was a part of him that he didn’t need to overcome, but that he could instead embrace and that it didn’t make him weak to do so.

When he does become a mainstream hero, he makes sure to always tell the omega children that he meets that they can do whatever they want and still be an omega.

N-sfw under the cut

Bakugou is a switch, mostly.

Oftentimes he switches multiple times in the same session, so his alpha needs to be quite the brat tamer to keep him from getting frustrated and trying to get on top so that he can control the pace.

He has a very high sex drive, and he likes to have a partner who can match him because he way prefers sex to masturbating.

It would be hard to find someone whose chest and nipples are as sensitive as Bakugou’s, and when he’s in heat, he can definitely orgasm just from his chest being stimulated.

Bakugou is also definitely a squirter, something which he was very shocked and embarrassed to find out.

Bakugou generally prefers slightly rougher sex. He gets bored when the pace is too slow and definitely scratches and bites (and is happy to receive the same in return).

When he’s in heat, Bakugou is a bit different.

He’s not a pillow prince by any means, but he is definitely a lot more passive than he is normally.

He’s not super loud, but he definitely swears a lot, even between waves of heat when he gets grumpy that he’s too hot and sticky. That swearing is a lot less sexy though.

Bakugou’s sexual side doesn’t really come out outside of his own home. He doesn’t like flaunting anything in public and can even get uncomfortable talking about sex with his friends, especially when they tease him with personal questions. He’s definitely a private person when it comes to sex.

Although that is not to say he isn’t confident in the expression of his own sexuality, much to opposite is true. He is definitely the kind of person to order some new toy or outfit on the internet every month to surprise his alpha.

He’s sexy and he knows it, so why not?

[theres-an-impulstor-among-us]

Hey Vaunna, if you ever want to try and write something to make me cry, hit me up. Imma start making a list of things I’ve almost and actually cried over in fics-

Make me suffer, I dare you.

welp here we go! good luck everyone LOL

summary: Team ZIT face a blast from Zedaph's past

...

“I dunno about you but I think having only a set of coordinates sent to our communicators with no explanation is never a good thing,” says Tango, gazing around the clearing.

Impulse nods. “Agreed. Especially considering it’s been five minutes and… nobody’s here.”

As if on cue, someone walks out through the trees. The two jerk in surprise but relax when they register who it is.

“Oh, Zed, it’s you,” breathes Tango. “Why did you send us these coords?”

Zedaph doesn’t reply as he walks over to a tree on the edge of the clearing and pulls a lever.

Immediately, a glass box springs up from the ground and closes around the two.

“Hey!” Tango snaps, hitting the glass with his first. “What the hell are you doing, Zed?!”

“Tango?!” comes Zedaph’s voice from the opposite side of the clearing.

Tango and Impulse turn sharply to find… Zedaph running into the clearing.

After a stunned moment, they turn back. Zedaph is standing by the lever he just pulled, but he doesn’t look EXACTLY like Zedaph anymore. His eyes flash red, his hair more tousled and a slightly darker shade of blond.

“What’s happening here?!” Tango demands. “Why are there two of you? Who’s the real Zed?!”

“I am,” says the newcomer Zedaph immediately. “He’s…”

His face pales as he properly registers who’s standing on the other side of the clearing.

“I’m Helsaph,” the first Zedaph says. “Your dear Zedaph’s hels counterpart.”

“What’s going on?” asks Impulse nervously. “Why have you locked us in a glass box?”

“Oh, cuz I thought you might want to hear about what Zedaph did to me,” Helsaph responds aggressively.

Zedaph slowly moves forward towards Helsaph, but stops several blocks away. “I…”

“What the hell could Zed have possibly done to YOU?” Tango growls.

Helsaph jabs his finger at his counterpart. “You wanna tell them what you did or shall I?”

Zedaph’s mouth opens and closes uselessly for a few seconds, before he squeezes his eyes shut and looks away.

Helsaph turns to the two in the box. “Let me see if this jogs your memory of anything.”

He pulls out a pink item from his pocket and holds it up to his eyes.

Tango and Impulse freeze in horror.

“Look familiar?” says Helsaph challengingly. “Huh?”

Impulse stares helplessly at the helsmit. “I don’t… understand.”

Helsaph barks a laugh. “What, you don’t really think it was the real Zedaph under that mask, do you? Surely you don’t really think the mastermind behind the PR stunt that was Wormman would be out there risking his OWN neck?”

“Zed, what is he saying?” Tango demands.

“I recruited Helsaph to be Wormman and then I abandoned him in Season 5 when we moved on to the next world!” Zedaph bursts out suddenly.

Silence falls. Tango and Impulse exchange a look of horror.

“You didn’t know that, huh?” Helsaph taunts. “Guess your precious little best friend never told you that he’s not the moral angel you think he is.”

“Zed…” Impulse gazes at his friend in disappointment. “Why?”

Zedaph doesn’t answer. Instead, he murmurs, “There. I said it. Is that what you wanted, Helsaph?”

Helsaph grabs Zedaph by the collar and yanks him off the ground. “Is that it?! “Is that what you wanted?”?! YOU ABANDONED ME IN A GHOST WORLD FOR THREE YEARS!”

He tosses Zedaph away as if Zedaph weighed nothing. No sooner has Zedaph landed on the ground than he looks up to find Helsaph charging at him. He can’t react in time to stop Helsaph from slamming his boot into his stomach, yanking all the air from his lungs and causing him to dissolve into a fit of coughing.

“ZED!” Tango screeches, hitting the glass wall with all his strength. It starts to crack under his blows.

“You made me play the hero!” Helsaph yells at his counterpart. “You trained me and spent time with me and made me CARE about you and then you just tossed me aside like I was NOTHING to you! Do you have any idea how much it hurts to learn that the person you thought loved you actually didn’t give a DAMN about you?!”

“I…!” Zedaph’s voice fails and he hangs his head. “I’m… I’m sorry...”

“Oh, you’re SORRY?”

Helsaph grabs Zedaph by the throat and slams him against a tree, the pressure on Zedaph’s windpipe abruptly cutting off his breathing.

“You think SORRY is going to make up for what you did?!”

“Get off him!” screams Tango’s voice.

A second later, Tango himself barrels into Helsaph, knocking him to the ground and releasing his grip on Zedaph, who drops to his knees, gasping for breath.

Impulse appears at Zedaph’s side and envelopes him in a hug. “It’s okay,” he whispers. “It’s okay, Zed.”

A little way off, Tango is kneeling on Helsaph’s back, keeping him pressed to the ground. As Helsaph struggles against Tango’s grip on his arms, he screams, “All I wanted was to be loved! ALL I WANTED WAS TO BE ACCEPTED!”

“Shut up!” Tango snarls at him.

“Tango, don’t hurt him!” pleads Zedaph hoarsely, his vision blurred. Weakly pushing Impulse away, he stumbles blindly towards the hazy figures of Helsaph and Tango. “Let him go!”

“Let him go?!” Tango echoes in disbelief. “HE TRIED TO KILL YOU!”

“Please, Tango! Let him go!”

Tango stares at Zedaph in disbelief for a moment, before huffing and releasing Helsaph, though he keeps a firm eye on the helsmit. “Fine.”

Helsaph slowly pushes himself to his knees, his eyes fixed on Zedaph. All his anger seems to have vanished, replaced by despair. “Why did you not want me anymore?” he cries. “W-Was I not good enough…? Did I do something wrong…?”

“No…! I never intended to hurt you.” Zedaph’s voice cracks with emotion. “This is all my fault. I should never have abandoned you, I… I was just so scared of what you might become that I never considered I could help you not become it. And instead… my worst fears came true, and it’s all my fault. Helsaph, I’m so sorry.”

Zedaph slowly moves forward and, kneeling down in front of Helsaph, brings him into a hug.

And after a few seconds, the dam breaks.

Tango and Impulse stand together a safe distance away, watching their best friend hug his crying Hels counterpart.

“All he ever wanted was a family,” says Impulse quietly. “People to care about him the way we care about Zed.”

Tango hesitates for a moment, then makes a decision. He joins Zedaph and Helsaph on the ground and wraps his arms around both of them. Impulse does the same on the other side, both he and Tango holding their Zedaphs tightly.

“I wanna be a hero again, Zedaph,” croaks Helsaph. “Have I messed it up?”

“No no, you haven’t messed anything up,” Zedaph says reassuringly. “If anything, I’M the one who messed everything up. Can you forgive me, Hels…?”

Helsaph sits back on his heels, regarding Zedaph with wary eyes. “But… But how do I know you won’t abandon me again if I stop being useful?”

Zedaph anxiously clasps his hands together. “I know you won’t trust me again for a long time, and that’s… that’s completely valid. But I… I refuse to judge your worth based on how “useful” you are again. From now on, you’re my brother and I’ll stick by you, no matter what.”

“B… Brother…?” repeats Helsaph shakily. “You mean…?”

“You’re part of the ZIT family now,” Impulse chuckles, tousling Helsaph’s hair. “Double Zedaph.”

Helsaph stares at Impulse with wide eyes. “I… Why would you want me here after everything I did…?”

“Because Zed made some mistakes and he’s my friend so I want to help him fix them,” Impulse replies kindly. “Right, Tango?”

Tango nods back. “Absolutely. Plus, I mean, you can never have too much Zedaph, know what I mean?”

Sensing that Helsaph is about to cry again, Zedaph quickly steps in and says, “You know, Hels, you actually arrived at a great time. We could do with a hero right now. You remember Evil X?”

Helsaph nods, wiping his eyes with the back of his sleeve. “Very well.”

“They’re back on the server causing a bit of mischief, running a scheme that’s definitely a scam. The server could use a hero to keep an eye on them and make sure they don’t do anything evil.” Zedaph grins. “What do you think? You up to the challenge?”

“I…” Helsaph hesitates. “I’m out of practise.”

“Don’t you worry about that,” says Tango. “We’ll help ya.”

“Yeah, we’re gonna train you back up into the best superhero on the server,” Impulse adds happily.

Zedaph hands Helsaph the pink mask the latter dropped earlier. “Welcome back, Wormman,” he says softly.

After a moment, Helsaph takes the mask and puts it on.

And with this action, Helsaph’s road to recovery, surrounded by his brand new family, begins.

[saudade-mayari]

Hey Luna! May I please request something for Kakashi, Yamato and maybe Tobirama if you write for him with a reader who exercises too much cause they're scared of not being good enough or scared they wouldn't be able to protect themselves or ones they love?🥺 Sorry if it's a bit angsty but yee💕

Having a paranoid s/o

Kakashi, Yamato, Tobirama

warnings: suggestive content, mentions death, fluff

Hatake Kakashi

Given that Kakashi is an observant and analytical person, he’ll most likely notice everything. Kakashi will probably notice why you often train with him and Gai to the extent that your legs won’t be able to keep up. It’s not even training anymore it’s more like torturing yourself already and his concern grew each day.

He will try his best to reassure everything. Truthfully speaking, he himself is not even sure if someday he’ll make it out alive but for once, Kakashi had actual thoughts of staying alive, settling down with you. Hence, he tries his best not to come home injured.

One evening when he got home from a late night mission. Kakashi was expecting a smile, hugs and perhaps dinner from you but there’s none. Just the cold breeze and dark silhouettes of your shared apartment—he ended up finding you in training grounds three, using various ninjutsus and taijutsu. He can really tell how tired you look and how sleep deprived you are. When he sees the bruises you had for weeks, noticed how unusually tired and distracted you are he knows it’s his cue to meddle in already. “y/n tell me what’s bothering you.”

No answer, for a skilled jōnin like Kakashi there’s no doubt he’s much more better than you—but the thought of him not coming home, or them coming home while holding Kakashi’s lifeless body scares the hell out of you. That’s when you started to double your training hours and Kakashi had find himself always guarding you by the training grounds.

“y/n we can train tomorrow, let’s go home please.” You accidentally yanked off his arms and Kakashi somehow snapped, he’s just trying his best to stay composed and calm but inside, he’s not. He’s desperate to know why you are like that. His brows are furrowing and finally held a grip on your shoulders, causing the ninja tools to fall on the ground. “Tell me. Why are you like this?” He sounded like a commanding officer.

Tears start to fall off your cheeks as soon as his mismatched eyes stared at you with concern. You started muttering that he doesn’t understand, that you are not as strong as he is. Explaining why you needed to train hard— to become strong like him so you’ll be able to protect him like he does to you. Kakashi will shut you up with a hug, trying to calm down your panic attacks. Of all the person, Kakashi knows how hard it was to desperately try to protect someone important for him. He’ll kiss your head, smelling your scent and making sure you’re calm before he lets go of your body.

“I’m scared too y/n but please, let’s not overwork ourselves. We promised to take care of each other right? I can’t let you become like this. We’ll hold on to our promises. You know that.”

Yamato/Tenzō

It’ll take some time for Yamato to figure out what was wrong, he’ll casually think trainings with you are somehow your way of being with him since being the new captain of Team 7 is incredibly tiring. At first, he’s happy about it because he can see you everyday, training with him or the rest of the Team 7.

But there’s this one time when you actually slipped out during the mission with him. Your body felt heavy, Yamato needed to save you out of danger and then you suddenly passed out. He will immediately take you to the Godaime for healings and check ups.

Yamato is sleeping peacefully, waiting for you to wake up and as soon as he noticed the slight movement from the hospital bed his onyx eye would open wide. It was silent, awkward. After the Godaime had disclosed that you fell out of balance during the mission because of the over exhaustion of training, Yamato felt bad for not seeing the signs. He miscalculated that you wanted to train to spend time with him. He was mad. Not to you, but himself.

“What’s this y/n?” He’ll ask softly, trying his best not to be overwhelmed by emotions. He needed to hear your explanation first, it’s his top priority and he thinks both of you would be able to fix this, somehow.

“I wanted to protect you. I’m afraid I wouldn’t be able to do anything when dire situations happens. It doesn’t matter if I die in the process I-” You tried to reason out but Yamato looked at you with his onyx orbs, he’s mad. Annoyed and felt downgraded. “If you wanted to protect me you should have told me. I look like shit trying to figure out what’s wrong.” Yamato will answer, cold and as if he was back on ANBU.

“I- I just love you so much, I don’t want you to concern yourself for me. I want to protect you too.” And that’s when he’ll lose it. It was as if both of you never had a heated argument in the hospital room, he’ll pull you close to his chest, his hands cupping your cheek then landing a passionate kiss on your lips.

“If you don’t want me to be concerned, don’t ever do that again. You scared the hell out of me when you passed out. Don’t do that again, y/n please. I love you too.”

Senju Tobirama

Let’s be real here, he’s proud of all the trainings you’ve been doing. He’ll never notice and it’ll probably take some time to fully notice it, but Tobirama had enjoyed seeing you like that in a sense that he’s extremely proud and will even train with you whenever he has the time.

Sometimes it’ll annoy him because you wanted to train more with Hashirama than him. But it’s just because you know how busy he is and you don’t want to bother him, so he’ll understand. Seeing two of the most important person in his life is heartwarming.

The pressure of having a boyfriend who almost developed most of the dangerous ninjutsu is overwhelming. You know he’s willing to die for the village but you just can’t let it happen. Hence, you have to be strong to protect him. It’ll all change when Tobirama started to notice you are gone every night. You are always out to train evening til morning, not even bothering to cuddle and even eat with him. You start to drift away and for him it’s annoying already. He’s a touch starved man. You both agreed that in the office work is work but inside the house you are both husband and wife—and you seem to forget that very rule both of you had established.

So this time, he’ll corner you. Making sure you won’t escape him. “What’s your deal y/n. You are gone every night. I can’t even sleep with you already. You’re barely eating, visiting the office. Do you still love me?” He’ll ask you questions, the ones desperately lurking in his mind for some quite time already. You held his cheeks, looked into those almond shaped red orbs and kissed his lips. “N-no, Tobirama dear it’s not like that. I’m just training. I need to get stronger. I love you, you know that.”

A smirk would form his lips, looking at you straight in your eyes. “Then why? You seem to forget that work is work. Training is training but inside this house we’re nothing but husband and wife. Why are you being like this? Be honest.” His grip on your shoulders are tight, he’s mad. Real mad. All he wanted was to be with you every after tiring days in his Kage office, both of you would start to quarrel to the extent that you had started saying harsh words to him, mainly because of the drowning emotions from missing each other’s touch and the anxiety of not being able to protect him.

“I can protect you. Why are you being like this? Is this your way of protecting me? Drifting away from me? Is this how you want our marriage would be? An obligation of just protecting each other?! I can’t even ask you how’s your day y/n. I am so proud of you but all you even do is train. You seem to forget I am your husband!” Tobirama finally snapped, your head hang low, holding the hem of his long sleeves, your hands shaking by the loud voice of your husband. You let out a low and almost a sob whisper, your voice cracking for the lack of attention you give to him in exchange of draining yourself from tremendous trainings. “I-I’m sorry.. I don’t want to lose you.. I want to protect the village without risking you.. I can’t lose you too, Tobirama. I can’t.”

And that’s it. Seeing you in tears is not Tobirama’s cup of tea and it pains him to see you cry because of him. He’ll carry you to your bed, take off your armor and put down your ninja tools. Tobirama will push you in his broad chest, feeling each other’s skin alongside the moonlight glistening in the windows of Senju Household.

“I don’t want to assure anything but always remember I won’t do anything reckless and if there’s one thing I can promise is I’ll go home to you. Always.”

[comehomeducklings]

Present [Part 1] (Obsession)

A/N: Please don't copy, redistribute, and/or post my work on this site or any others. This has taken my time and creativity to come up with the story's characters and plot.

Also, I swear my writing gets better. It's a little rough right now but I'm planning on rewriting them.

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Tom Riddle's Moodboard

Main Character's Moodboard

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

1943 ~ 6th year

No sound above whispers could be heard throughout the great hall. The food on the table hasn't been touched by a single hand. The very thought of eating churning all our stomachs. Not during these times. Our heads turn every now and then, afraid of what might sneak up behind us. The death of Myrtle and others has shaken the entire school. A murderer is among us, trust is such a foreign concept now.

Dark purple eye-bags lay beneath every single student's eyes. No one is allowed to go home for the holidays. They aren't allowing us to leave, we are stuck in this cloud of darkness and uncertainty. No owls are supposed to be sent out. As the head girl, I'm responsible for every student's life and responsibilities. I have to know where everyone is at all times. It gets tiring at times, but necessary nonetheless.

A nightly routine consisted of all my dormmates huddling around each other. No sleep would come to us all night. We wouldn't move from the same spot until light shown from the windows. Our beds are all pressed together in the farthest corner of the room from the door. Our wands never leaving our hands in case of danger. Every little sound made from the outside provoking us. Even to the point of going mad. Potions used to stay awake, slowly wearing off as the morning arose. No sleep, we can't afford that luxury anymore.

I would leave the dorm to wait at the portrait for our assigned house professor to come. They would tell me it was safe for everyone to head to the great hall to get breakfast. As soon as they were done I quickly went to everyone's dormitory to wake them up, if they even slept at all. I would then inform them that it was safe to step out of their dorms. After everyone got situated I would have the students form a line and lead them towards the great hall. 1st-3rd years would occasionally hold the folds of my robes. Fearing that when they blink I would be gone. Leaving them alone to deal with the dangers that lurk in the school.

Not once have I lied about how they are going to be all right. That would be cruel. These students don't seek pathetic nurturing words, they want a protective force watching over them. So many clubs and activities have been canceled. Hogsmede and quidditch proving as a prime example. No one complained though, quidditch players too afraid to even step out of the castle's walls even if they were allowed.

Back to the present, I hold my good friend's hand as she slightly shakes from anxiety. I can see it in her eyes, the doubt of making it alive eating away at her brain. The spark once present in her shiny green eyes being blown out. Amelia, her name being. She's been biting her nails again, to the point where it had bled. This can be backed by the dried-up blood that is present at the tip of her finger's nail.

A booming voice can be heard, "You are now being dismissed to head to class, your houses head girl and boy will be assigning the group you'll be heading off with."

First period has been removed from every perfect and head's schedule. During this time we search the whole castle for any wanders. We make sure everyone is where they are supposed to be. If someone got lost or went to the wrong class we escort them to where they need to be.

After every class, students have a limited amount of time to get to their next lesson. Although, perfects and heads get more time to make sure everyone is where they are needed quickly. Then we hurry to our class after scanning the halls swiftly.

The once safest school of the wizarding world giving birth to the dark ages. More bodies have been found littering the schools. Most of them not found until their ghosts appear before us. Every single one not knowing how they died. Like the murderer is invisible upon meeting the victim. I originally suggested it could have been done by poison. When the bodies were checked, no traces of poison had been traced.

Professors have been waiting for the person who is responsible to slip up, to give us a clue. I don't think that will happen though. The process of these killings has been too thought out and well planned. I wouldn't be surprised if these mass killings have been planned months before, even maybe years. I've been talking to the ghosts to try and gather all details, even the potentially useless ones. When our headmaster made us heads keep tabs on everyone, the killings stopped for a short amount of time. It was like the mastermind was creating a way to best us, to get past the "little inconvenience." It didn't take long for them to find the weak parts in the plan.

What we have got though, is that every single student killed has been a muggle-born. A classic case of an unfair stigma around the poor wizards and witches. They never were able to catch a break. Amelia, one of my close friends in the friend group. She's a muggle-born, hence the shaking of her hands. I've been keeping a closer eye on her, she doesn't leave my side. She comes on my patrols so I can keep her in my sights, with of course the permission of the teachers. There are only two times that I can not watch over her. Those two times are covered by my other friend Devyn, a pure-blood. She also helps keep her safe, not letting her go anywhere by herself. The two times are because she's in two different classes than I am. One of them being a study hall.

~////////////////𓆙////////////////~

"Professor, how will this class help us now? Reading teacups for predictions should be the least of our worries right now," a student at the back of the room exclaims.

"The said predictions could lead us to the future before it happens. Our worries lay exactly what will happen in the future. If anything, this is one of the most important classes we'll take this year," I say, continuing to read the teacup.

"Precisely, thank you. Now go back to studying, I'll be coming around to view your interpretations."

My tea leaves look more like a blob with a cross going through them. A weirdly shaped blob. I already know there is a cross, but what about the blob? I tried shaking it a little, looking at the leaves from different angles. I already crossed off a club, falcon, and the sun. It could be an acorn, but I see a slight hole in the blob.

Could it be...

"A skull that is." I jump at the sudden voice near my ear. My teacup almost falling from my grasp.

"Pardon, a what?"

She points towards two holes in the blob, one of them I just mentioned, "I saw you already found one hole, there's the other. How it's shaped could be a little difficult to see since the cross is through it, but it's there."

The professor takes the cup from my hand and lays it on her desk. Some of my classmates look at me in curiosity, but they soon lose interest and go back to their own tea leaves.

A cross and a skull, that sounds about right to how my school year is going so far. I scan my book to see exactly what they mean.

A skull, danger in your path.

A cross, trials and suffering.

"What d-did you find?" A Hufflepuff boy to my right asks.

I don't want to scare the poor boy, he's already frightened enough as it is. If my future got around to the school, everyone would start being concerned about me. I'll barely get any of my duties done if I didn't already get it taken away for my safety. Last thing I need right now is even more panic.

"Nothing much, the future is still a little foggy."

"That's, um, good. I couldn't really read mine either," he chuckles lightly, almost seemingly forced.

Our professor claps her hands together, "Class is dismissed, read up about your predictions if you haven't already. No homework today."

I gather my books and push in my chair. Right before I could reach the door where other students are waiting, the teacher stops me.

"I'll have to tell the headmaster about this, I shouldn't keep it a secret."

"No, please don't. If you must, only tell Albus. I can't have this messing anything up, I'll become vulnerable."

The professor looks around the room, her eyes wandering franticly. I'm sure I am asking a lot from her. I really need her to keep this a secret.

"Oh alright, you're my best student. I just would hate to see anything happen to you. I'm informing only Albus to see if he can keep an eye on you."

"Thank you so much, I swear I'll be careful." A huge weight is lifted off my shoulders. I can't be worrying about my future when I have to worry about everyone else's.

I leave the classroom and start heading to my next class. Potions have always been one of my favorite classes. Mixing a bunch of toxins into a pot is a specialty of mine. I'm quickly scanning the halls for any wanderers, making sure everyone is at class. My feet take me to Potions in a hurry. I don't want to miss much, trying to make the class as informational as possible.

"You shouldn't be running, you still have 3 minutes of checking the school."

It's always him, I even tried changing routes to avoid him. His idiotic smirk, thinking he actually did something. All he did is waste my time and train of thought.

"I'm allowed to run Riddle, it's not a rule. I already checked the halls I was assigned, did you?" I really have no energy for this.

Tom peers down at me, somehow still wearing that infamous smile. Eyes bright, filled with mischief and knowledge.

"I have, double-checked as well. I'm sure you only checked once. Such irresponsible actions, I still wonder how you nabbed the head-girl spot."

I choose not to answer, not giving in to his baiting. Does he think I'm that stupid? That easily bothered by a simple test of my patience.

"You could have just said you wanted to walk me to class Riddle. No need to be shy with me."

"Shy, a concept I would not know of. Might as well bring you to class, since I'm heading there myself. Wouldn't want you to be in danger, since you consistently prove you can't handle a simple check of the hallways."

"I told you Tom-"

"Once is not enough, you should know that by now," he interrupts me, feigning a sudden serious facade on.

We start heading towards Slughorn's room. I'm a little behind his figure. Mostly looking down to make sure I don't step over his feet and fall. He sometimes walks with me, very confusing if I may say. Hating my skills, probably still hates me. You can often find us arguing if we are ever partners in class together. The usual game we play, how many questions can we get right by the end of class. Last time he won by one point, my sour mood not helping the atmosphere.

"You look rested, more than me at least," I smile tiredly. My whole body slightly sagging forward from exhaustion. He looks as proper as someone could be. His skin is a little pale though, brighter than usual. Almost like he was sick, his eyes look darker too. More sunken in, the shape of his skull more prominent. His looks still annoyingly well presented.

"Yes, you do look rather tired. I see other things have prioritized above your looks."

This man, the audacity of this man. The only reason I'm not at the top of every class. Our number 1 student count being evenly split. I have to bite down on my tongue forcefully to not say anything back. I'm too tired to truly come back with anything witty, so I choose to save myself from the embarrassment. Instead, I slightly step on his robe on the ground causing him to trip up a little.

He quickly sends a warning glare my way and then continues walking. I smile slightly, knowing even if it was petty, it was worth it.

Riddle doesn't even hold the door for me when we walk in. Causing it to slam dangerously close to my face.

"There you two are, I was afraid you weren't going to make it," Slughorn exclaims excitedly. "Turn your textbooks to page 246, we are going to learn how to make a Polyjuice potion!"

I glance at Tom, his eyes only focus on the words before him not realizing my gaze is on him. I wonder if he'll make this a competition as well. Knowing him, as well as me, anything but competition is out of our character. He looks up catching my eyes, I tilt my head. Trying to silently communicate from afar.

His head turns to Slughorn, then back to me. He nods his head and that's all it takes for both of us to come to an understanding. Whoever can answer the most questions, and create the best potion gets bragging rights.

I don't intend to lose.

[nctsjiho]

Lost Boy

warnings: none

era: fall 2018

❀ JiHo and Winwin go on a little mission to find a lost child’s parents

“I don’t know who’s idea it was to leave an 18 year old and an awkward foreigner boy alone in a foreign country, but the idea doesn’t sound the brightest.” JiHo noted while she scanned her surroundings. Winwin took slight offence to the comment and pushed her arm. “Hey! I’m not awkward.” The girl only sent him a smirk before looking around again.

The pair were outside in a less busy area of LA, while their manager went inside a store to grab some essentials. Normally something like that wouldn’t be allowed by the company so the manager had made JiHo and Winwin promise they wouldn’t tell anyone about it. Of course JiHo took advantage of the situation by requesting the manager would buy them some snacks - which also wasn’t allowed during JiHo’s diet, but the manager had to choose between potentially loosing his job, or just getting told of for letting JiHo break her diet. The decision was easily made.

While Winwin and JiHo immersed themselves in a casual conversation, JiHo suddenly felt a tug at her jacket. A little shocked at the unexpected movement, the girl looked down to see a small boy looking up at her. He must have only been around 5 years old, which made JiHo confused about who would let such a young child alone. But by the looks of the boy’s wide and teary eyes, it was definitely a case of a lost child, probably scared out of his mind.

JiHo’s features immediately softened, not wanting her underlying panic and concern for the boy affect the kid. “Hey little guy, what are you doing here alone?” JiHo asked in English and crouched down so she was at eye level with him. The little boy, however, didn’t respond. His lips were slightly trembling and his tears pooled at the corner of his eyes.

Winwin, who felt as shocked to see the lost child, crouched down as well and when the boy faced him he waved. “Hello.” He greeted in Korean, which had JiHo roll her eyes. “You weirdo, he doesn’t understand Korean. We’re in America.” She scolded, hitting her friend’s arm lightly. “You don’t know that.” Winwin retaliated. 

Before JiHo could fire back, the “arguing” friends heard a little giggle from the young boy. They both looked at the boy with smiles growing on their faces. “We sound funny don’t we?” JiHo asked and the young boy nodded, causing JiHo to laugh. She quickly translated to Winwin who found it endearing as well.

“What’s your name?” “Jonas.” The boy started to feel shy and casted his gaze on the floor. “Hi Jonas.” Winwin’s sweet tone completely stole the young boy’s heart as he now confidently smiled at Winwin. “No matter where we are, no matter who it is, everyone always falls in love with you.” JiHo snickered to which the older boy shrugged and then continued to wave at Jonas.

“What happened Jonas? Where are your parents?” The boy looked up at JiHo before explaining that they were with him at the park nearby and then suddenly he couldn’t see them anymore. “Did you cross the street all by yourself?” Jonas nodded as his eyes began to fill with even more tears. “Hey, don’t cry. We’ll go find your parents, but you should never cross the street by yourself okay?” Again the boy nodded and JiHo stood up.

Not really understanding what JiHo had just said, Winwin followed her lead and stood up as well. “What are we doing?” Winwin asked and JiHo’s eyes fell on the store their manager walked into about 5 minutes ago. “We’re going to find Jonas’ parents.” She looked at the small boy who was holding onto her hand and looking around the street, hoping to find his parents.

Winwin felt a bit uneasy, even though he wanted to help the child, their manager had no idea what was happening and had “ordered” them to wait outside and not move until he was back. JiHo noticed her friend’s inner turmoil and groaned. “If I have to I’ll go alone, but I’m not letting a kid go and find his parents alone in the late afternoon.” “But can’t we wait till hyung is back and go together?” Winwin tried to compromise. “We don’t know how long he’s going to be in there, and I don’t know how long his parents have been looking for their son. They must feel devastated.”

JiHo noticed how cold Jonas’ hand was so she took her jacket of and wrapped it around the little boy’s shoulders. “I’ll carry you.” She crouched down and Jonas wrapped his tiny arms around JiHo’s neck as he let her pick him up. “I’m going to look for his parents. You’re free to come or stay here, but I’m going.” JiHo told Winwin and then left in the direction of the park.

Winwin did a double take of the store before running and catching up to JiHo and Jonas. “I’m not letting you go alone.” He mumbled, to which JiHo felt a smile creeping on her lips.

Once they enter the park, JiHo asks Jonas a few questions like, “Where was the last place you saw your parents?” and “Did you see in which direction they left?”. Jonas wasn’t much of a help since he didn’t remember much. Yet JiHo completely understood, the boy lost his parents, he must have been so scared and panicked.

5 minutes went by, but they felt like at least half an hour and still they hadn’t found Jonas’ parents. Noticing how the small boy started to become a bit more restless Winwin came up with an idea. “I’ll carry him and you can run around and ask people if you have seen his parents.” Winwin suggested to which JiHo agreed. She handed over Jonas to Winwin who tried his best to entertain the boy. His English skills were very minimal, but Jonas seemed to prefer him saying things in Korean anyway. Each time he did, it elicited a giggle or a smile.

All Winwin had to do was keep Jonas calm, so JiHo could run around and hopefully find Jonas’ parents as soon as possible. He hated the fact that JiHo was running around alone at 5 pm on a particularly cold day, in nothing but a t-shirt and jeans. Her jacket was still wrapped around Jonas, who seemed to appreciate the warmth it provided.

Winwin’s mind was clouded with so many thoughts, what if they didn’t find Jonas’ parents? What if something happened to JiHo? She was only 18 - technically speaking 17, her birthday was in a few months -  in a foreign country, with no supervision. Speaking of supervision, how was their manger going to react? Had he already left the store? Had he noticed him and JiHo weren’t there yet? How-

“Jonas!” “My baby!” Winwin’s head snapped to the direction of the screams. There he saw JiHo and two adults running towards them. “Mommy! Daddy!” The little boy screamed, happy to see his parents again. Quickly, Jonas was scooped out of Winwin’s grasp by the little boy’s father. “Thank you two so much! Oh my God, I was so scared!” The mother cried and pulled JiHo in a hug.

Once the mother stopped crying and had hugged her child, they turned to the two idols. “Thank you again! Thanks for taking care of my little boy.” The father said, trying to calm down his rapidly beating heart. “No worries, your son is such a nice boy.” JiHo explained while she got her jacket handed back. “How could I ever repay you?” JiHo held up her hands explaining that they were okay and didn’t need anything. “Did they take good care of you?” The father asked Jonas who then excitedly started telling about how nice JiHo was and how funny Winwin and JiHo talked to each other. It melted both their hearts and then they waved the family goodbye after getting a last hug from the boy.

“He was cute.” Winwin smiled to which JiHo agreed. She then poked his shoulder twice. “We should head back, oppa isn’t going to be happy-” “YOU TWO!” As if on cue, their manager appears, sweat was dripping of his temples as he approached them. “I told you to wait in front of the store! I could already see my career- no, my whole life flash in front of my eyes!” JiHo and Winwin look at their manager with a sheepish grin. “Why are you here?” Winwin then explained what happened and their manager’s gaze softened.

“Next time, don’t forget your phones in the hotel okay? I was worried sick, but thank God you’re both fine.” The manager patted both idols’ shoulders. “And you did something amazing. I’m happy you found that little boy’s parents. I think I almost can relate to his parents.” JiHo cooed at their manager and looked up at him with big eyes. “Aw~ You care about us like we’re your own children?” JiHo teased which caused Winwin to laugh. “Never mind. Maybe I shouldn’t have come to find you.” He groaned.

“Me?! Why are you looking at me only? What about Winwin?!” JiHo asked offended. “What do you mean, JiHo? Didn’t you say everyone always falls in love with me?” The boy wiggled his brow as he mocked the girl. She rolled her eyes while looking at the manager. “Yeah, I think I prefer Winwin right now. Here you go buddy.” He hands him the snacks he got for him earlier. “What about mine?” The manager laughed. “I stress binge ate your snack while I was looking for you guys.” JiHo stopped in her tracks, mouth fallen open while the other two continue to walk. “That’s so unfair.” JiHo mumbled but quickly rushed to catch up with the others.

“Be careful what you say oppa. I can tell SM about how you left us alone outside-” “Here!” He shoved a bag of snacks into JiHo’s hands which made her smile sweetly. “Have I ever told you, you are my favourite manager?” JiHo beamed while opening the snack. “Shut up and eat.” He grumbled.

---

Side Note: Long overdue Winwin writing, there’s still a few members that I haven’t written for, so I’m slowly getting there. The member’s I haven’t written for, funnily enough, are some of the ones that I want to write for the most, but I’m having a hard time finding the perfect stories for them. Just letting you know, so you know that I love them as much as the other members. I know Haechan and Doyoung appear on this blog the most, (and I might have another Doyoung angst in my drafts) but that isn’t because I like them more, I love all NCT members equally. <3

Also posting 2 days in a row because I felt inspired and I might have given up on an assignment for this

[engagemachine]

"You're so gentle," she tells me. They all say it. I hear it from my patients every time I take their arm to wrap the blood pressure cuff around it, or when I place my stethoscope on their belly, or when I rub circles into their back when I've helped them sit up on the side of the bed for the first time in three days. Sometimes they cry, because it's the first tender touch they've felt since they've been in the hospital. It's very humbling and at the same time very concerning -- why has no one else offered this tenderness to you? Why am I always the first?

But I don't feel gentle. Not when a pair of ribs are cracking beneath my hands as I'm doing chest compressions on a Covid patient who's stopped breathing--the second time I've administered CPR on a Covid patient in two days. I don't feel gentle when I'm wrestling with a patient and begging for them to keep their oxygen mask on. When I have to hold them down and hold them still so my coworker can draw a blood sample. I don't feel gentle when I'm inserting a nasogastric tube down someone's nose, then throat, and into their belly while they're gagging around the tube and their arms are flailing. And I don't feel gentle when I'm washing a sacral wound with bleach and they're crying because it hurts. I don't feel gentle when I have to shout, beg, and plead for patients to listen, when I tell patients they're going to die if they don't keep their oxygen mask on. I don't feel gentle when I have to place a patient in restraints, or when I call a family member and tell them that their loved one's condition hasn't improved. I don't feel gentle when a patient tells me they can't breathe, they can't breathe, I can't breathe, and I'm yelling for coworkers to call the doctor while I'm cycling through different oxygen masks and trying to administer medication to slow their respirations and calm their anxiety.

I'm writing this because I feel like I've been living a little bit behind a veneer on here, although I know deep down that's not really true; I have always wanted my blog to feel like a positive space for anyone and everyone, including myself. I come here to have fun and destress and that's why you usually don't see me reblogging content having to do with politics or global news. I think it's possible to create a healthy space where one does talk about those things and spreads awareness for important causes, but for me, Tumblr is where I come when I need to escape the harsh realities of real life. This is my platform where I can indulge in my fictional proclivities and interests, where I can appreciate art, photography, beautiful writing, my favorite films, music, and cute animals. That's what this space is about. I also have loved meeting new people and getting to know my readers and making new friends and chatting about my stories. That's why I'm here and I thank you all so, so much for indulging me in my passions and for encouraging my writing the way that you have: it has helped me weather the current storm of stress I am feeling in more ways than I could possibly convey.

But I have to be very honest with you all about how much I've been struggling lately, as I feel like I'm reaching a breaking point and I'm somewhat at a loss for how to handle it.

Since September of last year, I've been on an accelerated track to finish the degree I'm working towards, which is a Bachelor of Science in Nursing. I've been a nurse for four years, but I graduated from a two-year nursing program versus a four-year program because I wanted to get into the field earlier than some of my peers, which has been great. Anyway, my school counselor/mentor and I agreed that I could obtain my BSN in a year if I really pushed myself. The program I'm in is self-paced, which has been both a blessing and a curse. Most of my classes I have finished in about three to four weeks. Other classes, like biochemistry, took substantially longer, about seven or eight weeks, if I remember correctly. All of the classes have relied on my ability to self-teach, as there are no scheduled lectures to attend, only assigned readings and videos to watch, if you choose to do so. Fast forward to the end of May, when I went to visit some family, and, upon my return home, really started to lose some of my motivation to complete my classes. I was meant to finish my program in August (this month) but agreed with my mentor that I would take a short break and put my last three classes on hold so that I could resume the program in September. I've enjoyed approximately a month off from school, but "enjoyed" is a term I use loosely here as I was also picking up extra shifts at work because we've been so short staffed and losing nurses left and right.

Which brings me to the main cause of my stress. This pandemic has completely changed the landscape for how I administer care to my patients, and the stress of the care itself has been so utterly overwhelming at times I can hardly bear it. I broke down in tears at work on Sunday morning, shortly after 4:30 am, right there at the the nurse's station, and was sobbing so hard that my supervisor had to pull me away so that I could have some privacy. I wish I could tell you that I sobbed harder than I have in a long time--but I had sobbed at work with that same intensity just four weeks prior, only, I had been alone at the time. It's becoming a trend--I either cry at work or I cry at home--because the stress of this job has become unbearable.

I wish--I desperately wish--I could convey to you the seriousness of Covid. I think so much of the world has already decided to move on from it because they're so tired of having to deal with it and, quite simply, are ready to return to normal. I don't even know what normal is anymore and when--or if--we'll ever be able to return to it. And that has caused me a fair amount of stress and anxiety in and of itself. I miss traveling so much and I don't know when I'll be able to do it again. I haven't seen one of my best friends since the fall of 2018 for this reason, which kills me.

I've seen so much death. Transferred so many patients to the PCU and ICU. Frantically chased patients' oxygen saturation, trying to keep them from circling the drain. Being responsible for six or seven human lives at one time is a stress you cannot fathom unless you have done it yourself. I have cried with a patient, a young woman, who had lost her husband to Covid only hours before in the ER, a young woman who was now faced with battling Covid herself but also planning the funeral of her high school sweetheart from her hospital bed. I have wheeled a patient to the ICU so that he could say one final goodbye to his wife--married for over 50 years--before they pulled the plug and removed her from the ventilator. I have raced down the hallway with my patient on BIPAP, pushing his bed to the ICU and praying that he doesn't stop breathing on the way there. I've had to console crying family members over the phone who are worried about their loved ones, not to mention my crying coworkers who are as overwhelmed as I am. These are just a handful of experiences from the past month alone. There are so many more.

The discomfort of my job has become secondary. I expect, now, to be wearing an N95 for a full twelve or thirteen-hour shift because there isn't time to take it off. Not having a chance to pee or go to the bathroom during that time. Not drinking any water until I'm in my car and taking off my mask and finally taking a deep breath.

On a more personal note, I am continuing to lose weight and it's so discouraging. In high school I used to wear a size 2 or 4. Now, depending on the brand, I wear a double 00. My hair is falling out because of my stress. I haven't slept during the night in... I don't even know how long. I'm constantly tired. Exhaustion hits me like a great tidal wave and I am powerless to stop it. I expect now to crash during the middle of the day on my couch, only to wake up at 11pm and be wide awake for the rest of the night, and, if not wide awake, then in an out of nightmares and sleep paralysis. I have thought about leaving my job, but the idea of job hunting during a pandemic, and while I'm in school... it just makes me feel even more stressed.

I need a break, but it feels like there's nowhere to go to escape. I fantasize about some great adventure, going somewhere I've never been, but I also really miss my family and I'm scared to go home to visit.

This post doesn't really have a conclusive ending. I'm just exhausted and overwhelmed. Any prayers/thoughts would be greatly appreciated.

[quickspinner]

Ruin It

Another one for the @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers sprint challenge! The prompt was:  

Person A: Listen I don’t want to ruin our friendship but I really want to kiss y-- Person B: Ruin it

The challenge rules are 3 15-minute writing sprints and 24 hours to edit. I took a little extra editing time because it was late by the time I finished and I didn't want to do anything stupid for lack of sleep. Also, I sprinted everything from the phrase "Ruin It" onwards and then ended up adding a ridiculous number of words to put together the setup at the beginning as part of my "editing" phase and effectively doubled the length of what I originally sprinted. Hopefully it's not too complicated. I'm trying to re-embrace the thought that sprint fics don't have to complicated or polished; I've let myself get hung up on some things in the last few challenges, so this week was about just letting go.

ANYWAY I had sort of a childhood friends to lovers thought in mind as I wrote this, and I hope you enjoy! You can also check out the sprint challenge AO3 collection here to read this and other works. 

“I’ve always wanted to do that,” Marinette said enviously, watching a group of kids run along the top of the short stone wall framing the park. 

“Why haven’t you?” Luka asked. “It’s not very high.” He gestured to where the wall ended in graduated steps down to the ground. “Wouldn’t be hard to get up on it, either.”  

She gave him a look. “Because I’m a grown-up.”

Luka snorted. “Says who?” A woman some distance from them called out “Lunch!” and kids jumped off the wall, cheering as they ran off. Luka grinned and took her hand, tugging her up off the blanket they’d been sitting on. “Come on.”

“Luka!” she laughed, but didn’t resist as he towed her to the wall. “What if a patrol sees us?” 

“What are they going to do, fine us?” Luka rolled his eyes, and flashed her a wicked grin that she somehow felt in her bones. “They can put it on my tab.” He held Marinette’s hand as she stepped up on the low part of the wall, and then he walked alongside it as she stepped up to the next highest piece, and then the next, raising his hand at every level to keep hold of hers. The wall was only about waist-height on Luka, but it felt huge to Marinette, standing on top of it. She giggled as she looked down at him. “Now you know how I feel walking next to you,” she teased. 

“Enjoy it while it lasts,” Luka laughed. When they reached a place where the wall dead-ended into the higher terrace beyond, Marinette carefully turned around, making sure to get a grip on Luka with her other hand before she let go with the one he’d been holding. The wall might not be all that high, but she had a habit of getting distracted at just the wrong moment, and no fall was better than even a short fall. With her luck, even a short fall would be dangerous.

Not that she was worried. Luka never let her fall. She gave him Luka a quick smile to let her know she was ready, and they began the walk back to the end with the graduated steps. “How do they expect kids not to climb on a wall when they make it this easy?” she asked, looking down at Luka with a laugh. 

Marinette had just taken the first step down when some yelling boys startled a flock of pigeons, sending them hurtling right towards the wall in their flight to higher ground. Startled, Marinette overbalanced, and with a yelp she began to topple, but Luka was already there, arms around her waist, half catching, half lifting her off the wall. Her flailing arms wrapped around his neck automatically and she clung to him for a heart-stopping moment where she thought they would both go over, but Luka’s grip on her was firm and his stance rock-solid. 

“You okay?” he asked, amusement in his voice. 

“Yeah,” she said into his hair, embarrassed. “Sorry.” 

Luka gave a quiet huff of amusement, head tilted back to look up at her, and Marinette pouted down at him. “Are you going to put me down?” she asked. 

“I don’t know,” Luka grinned. “Maybe I won’t. Maybe you’re safer like this.” 

She was tempted to kick him, but her dangling feet were level with his knees, rather than his shins, and she was afraid of hurting him. His grin widened at her predicament, but his eyes were full of affection, and she forgave him for laughing at her. She couldn’t help it. She wasn’t going to let him get away with it though. She just...needed a credible threat. Her frustration must have showed on her face because his breath fanned over his face as he laughed silently. Her eyes flicked down to his lips.

“Put me down or I’ll kiss you,” she threatened. “Then our friendship will be ruined forever and you’ll regret everything.” 

Luka’s eyes widened, and he immediately set her feet on the ground. Her grin of triumph faded at the look on his face. “That’s not funny, Marinette,” he muttered, ducking out of her arms and taking a few steps away. 

Marinette blinked, and then bit her lip. “Sorry. Sorry, that was stupid.” She wrapped her arms around herself and backed up, sitting down on one of the lower steps of the wall. “Luka, I didn’t mean it. I wouldn’t be that stupid.” 

For a moment, he said nothing. Marinette sat miserably waiting for him to work through whatever he was thinking about, calling herself ten kinds of idiot in her head.

“Is that…” Her head jerked up as he spoke, but his back was still to her, and he seemed to be struggling to get the words out. “Is that something you think about?” 

Marinette frowned. “What?”

“Kissing me,” he clarified, without turning. “Ruining our friendship?”

“Oh.” Marinette felt heat rush into her cheeks. She was really in it now. How could she have let that slip? “Well...sometimes, yeah. I know it’s stupid, you haven’t seen me that way since we were kids, and I don’t want to ever screw up our friendship. Just—” Just what? How could she admit to him that sometimes the light caught the angles of his face just right, and she couldn’t take her eyes off him. That sometimes he would catch her staring and his lips would curve in a questioning smile and she couldn’t think about anything else for days afterwards. How could she admit even a fraction of what she felt for him, without making things weird?

Weird- er . She’d already managed weird. Damn it.  

“Just?” he prompted. 

Marinette squirmed uncomfortably. “It’s not a big deal. Just, sometimes I think about kissing you. And then I think what a stupid idea it is and I know you haven’t seen me that way since we were kids, and I’d never actually do it because it would ruin every—” 

Luka turned around and took a quick step towards her. “Ruin it.” 

Marinette blinked. “Wh-what?” 

“Ruin it,” Luka repeated, taking another step. “Do it. If tearing down what we have means building something new with you then give me the fucking hammer and let’s go.” 

Marinette stared at him, hardly believing what she was hearing. “You’d...you’d give up everything we have,” she said, tone going accusing. “For a kiss?”

“No,” he said, kneeling in front of her to take her hands. “I’d give up everything we have for a chance. What do we have, Marinette, that can’t be made better? If you want to kiss me, and I want to kiss you, if we both want more than what we have, then why shouldn’t we try?” 

“Because—” Marinette floundered. “Because what if it all went wrong, and then we couldn’t—couldn’t talk to each other anymore, and, and we’d be—” She frowned. “Wait, you want to kiss me?” 

“Every damn day,” he told her earnestly. “Every time you eat a macaroon or steal my coffee or laugh or pout or—pretty much anything, really.”   

Oh shit , she thought, taking in the tight lines of his face, the steady, intense gaze of his eyes. He’s serious . “But…” Marinette’s head whirled. “But—Luka, what if—If everything went wrong—I wouldn’t have anyone to—what would I do without you, Luka?” she practically wailed.

“What if you never had to find out?” he asked, reaching up to cradle her face with one hand. “What if it didn’t go wrong, Marinette? What if I could love you without holding back? What if we weren’t spending so much energy trying not to want each other? Is that what’s been holding you back, all this time? As if you could ever lose me, after all we’ve been through.” 

Marinette stared at him, speechless. Of course he knew , she thought numbly. It was Luka. But she didn’t know, or didn’t let herself know that she knew, and her reality was reeling. 

Luka let his hand fall from her face, and wrapped both of his hands around hers instead, his voice soft and coaxing and full of a hope that made her ache. “Ruin it, Marinette. We’ll make something new out of it. It might not be the same, but I’ve seen the things you create and I’m not afraid. Whatever we become, it’ll be something we made together. How could something like that be bad?” He took a breath, and looked up at her. His hands were shaking, she realized. “So ruin it.” He grinned. “Hell, ruin me , I don’t mind. I love being your friend, but...I want to see what else we can make together.” 

She’d never seen his eyes like this, she thought numbly as she stared back at him. She thought she knew him so well, just like he knew her. She’d never been able to read him the way he read her, but she thought...she thought she knew him. She didn’t know this , the intensity, the pleading, the...desperation. She didn’t know this part of him. The part that wanted . Luka didn’t crave things. Luka let things come and go, he didn’t get worked up over things. Luka was willing to take what you gave him and be content. Luka was a passionate person, sure, but not ambitious. He didn’t want things. 

He wanted her. This was the first time that she’d ever seen how much...that he’d let her see how much. She should have been frightened, she thought. It should have scared her to see him looking at her with so much earnestness. It was terrifying, when it was anybody else.

But this was Luka, and how could she be scared of Luka? How could she, when he’d finally dared to ask for what he wanted? Not because he couldn’t stand it any longer but because she had finally admitted, to him and to herself, that she wanted it too.  

Just like that she knew she had passed the boundary whether she meant to or not. She would break Luka’s heart in this moment if she refused him, and her own in the process. Their friendship wouldn’t be the same after this. They would have to make something new, one way or another. She could turn him down, and hope that the awkward would pass over time. Hope that he could forgive her for being a coward. 

But…

She thought she knew him, but now she could see how much he was holding back. She wanted that secret knowledge of him, the part of himself he kept hidden away. She wanted his secret passions and his dreams and the things he treasured up in his heart. Not to take, but to receive, to be given freely, to earn each one with the steadiness of her...love.

Love.

Marinette looked down at their hands in her lap. Slowly she moved her hands so that they were clasping his. He was silent now, waiting. How long had he been waiting for her? When she leaned forward, Luka closed his eyes and tilted his head to meet her, but he didn’t move beyond that until her lips pressed, trembling and tentative, into his. Only then did he move with her, press into her, his hands tightening on hers so hard it almost hurt. She moved his hands to her hips and then carded her own fingers through his hair as they kissed and kissed again. 

She loved him, and she was terrified as she finally let herself realize how much, but…this was Luka. 

Luka never let her fall. 

Fiction Master Post

[helnjk]

Only Us - F.W.

Fred Weasley x fem!reader

This is for @slytherinsunrise ‘s 1k writing challenge! I’m using the song Only Us from Dear Evan Hansen because it makes my heart go 🥺❤️Congrats on 1k, lovely!! I hope you like it 🧚🏼‍♀️

Word Count: 3k 

Warnings: Mentions of the war, PTSD, angst, non-linear healing, alcohol consumption, hurt/comfort

A/N: The tags make it sound really sad but I promise if you stick with it, it gets better!! Also, listening to the song while reading is: a good idea. 

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The war may have ended, but for Fred, healing was nowhere in sight. 

The nightmares were getting consistently worse. Each night he would jolt awake, sweat coating his forehead and clammy hands grasping for any sort of confirmation that he was fine, George was fine, everyone was safe. It was getting to a point where he could barely reach eight hours of sleep a week, and he could tell it was affecting him in everything he did.

His friends and family constantly sent concerned glances his way, taking note of the bruised color his eye bags were sporting, the shake in his hand, and the heaviness he always seemed to drag along with him. 

“I’m worried for you, mate.” George said one morning, as he found his twin staring blankly at the-by then cold-cup of tea clutched in his hands. He could tell that Fred had been up long before the sun rose, “I think you need a break, a change of scenery, anything really.” 

“I haven’t gotten the faintest idea where I could go, though,” Replied Fred.  

“Think about it,” George urged, but said nothing else on the matter. He settled instead on the rest of his plans for today. 

Instead of taking his twin’s advice, Fred took his twin’s advice. 

He figured since he wasn’t going to be able to get hours in to sleep, might as well use them to numb his pain. A change of scenery was what his twin had recommended after all. Often, he would find himself sneaking out of the flat above the shop, once he knew George was fast asleep, and apparating to the nearest muggle club. 

Something about the reckless atmosphere, the knowledge that all of these people knew nothing of the war that ravaged so many lives, called out to Fred. Here, he could be whoever he wanted to be. He wasn’t some insomniac war-hero with anxiety, he was just Fred. 

Clear the slate and start over

The bass pounding in his ears, sending jolts through his body as he waded through the crowded dance floor, bright flashing lights distorting the faces of the bodies around him, Fred felt more free than he had in a long time. 

His mind was numb, almost empty. It was much too loud and too packed for him to think about anything else except the beat of the music and the heat of the crowd. 

When his thirst became too much, he made his way to the equally crowded bar, signalling the bartender and slapping down some muggle money he had stashed away in his pocket. Something, or rather someone, caught his eye as he reached for whatever was placed in front of him, and all of a sudden his drink and his parched throat were forgotten. 

Y/N. 

Standing at the far corner of the bar, away from the crowd, you stood nursing your drink and swaying slightly to the music. 

You had been in his year when he was at school and you were partners in a few projects, but he hadn't heard from you since he and George left Hogwarts with a bang. He was so entranced with the sight of you, seemingly glowing in the pulsing light, that he almost didn’t notice the jagged scars running down from your temple to your pulse point when you turned his way. 

Without thinking, he made his way towards you. It was almost like a scene from those muggle movies Hermione went on about, the way your eyes locked and how his heart pounded in his chest, almost in time with the beats of the music.

“Fred Weasley, as I live and breathe!” You exclaimed once he was near enough to hear you, throwing your arms up and wrapping him in a tight hug. 

“Y/N,” He said, eyes dancing with amusement at your enthusiasm which was clearly because of the liquor running through your veins, “It’s been too long.” 

“It has,” You agreed with a smile, “Now what’re you doing all the way here in the muggle world? I’ve heard you’ve got yourself a pretty successful joke shop.” 

He shrugged nonchalantly, trying to hide the fact that you caught his attempt at escapism, “Just needed a breather, and what better way to do that in a muggle club? Perfect place to go when I don’t want to know anyone and I don’t want anyone to know me.”

 “Oh I’m sorry! Did you want to be alone? I can sod off, I don’t mind.” You rushed out, going to gather your things and move so that he could have some privacy.

 “Don’t be daft,” He chuckled, putting his drink down and taking a seat next to you, “I was the one who approached you, wasn’t I? Reckon it would be nice to have a chat with an old friend.”

 You quirked an eyebrow at him but didn’t argue, it was nice to see a familiar face after escaping the wizarding world for so long.

 “Alright then, Weasley.” You smiled, looking into his eyes. 

 After that night, Fred couldn’t seem to get you out of his mind. You had changed since he last saw you in school, well, the war had changed everyone, but still he was intrigued. He didn’t mention anything about the scars on your face and you didn’t speak a word about the bags under his eyes or the tremble of his hands. When you were together, it was just the two of you, everything else seemed to just fade into the background. 

 He asked for your owl address and suddenly, you two were exchanging letters daily. You told him how you worked in the muggle world, taking a break from most things magical in an attempt to clear your head from everything that went down in the war. In return, he told you about his near death experience and how it affected him in his everyday life. 

 George took notice of his twin’s change in demeanour. He could tell that the nightmares still plagued him and sometimes sleep still evaded him, but now it seemed like Fred had a skip in his step. The light in his eyes that faded the day he woke up in the hospital bed was slowly starting to filter back in. 

 You often found yourself smiling giddily to yourself whenever the twins’ large barn owl tapped at your window. These letters from Fred were slowly becoming the highlight of your day. Something about them was just so raw, so real, that you couldn’t help but pour your deepest thoughts and feelings into a parchment in reply. 

 Soon, letters turned into coffee dates and surprise appearances at your job to take you out to lunch. Your days were filled with unending laughter and the pit in your stomach was slowly easing up. 

 The first time Fred kissed you, you were outside the door to your flat. He wore a slightly bashful expression and a blush slowly creeped up his neck. The kiss was sweet and soft and everything you were searching for after the war. You invited him inside after that.  The night was filled with a steady flow of kisses shared on the couch and whispered words of admiration and acceptance. 

 Try to quiet the noises in your head

 “Sometimes I’m afraid that I’ll never be the person I used to be,” Fred spoke up one night as you were wrapped in his arms and he trailed soft touches along your arm. It was a peaceful evening, the both of you content with basking in the presence of the other. 

 You shifted slightly in his arms to get a better look at him. His gaze was unfocused, “What do you mean?” 

 “The war took so much from me and everyone I love,” He elaborated, “I used to be so reckless, act first think later. My main goal in life was to make people laugh, to bring happiness to their days. Now I don’t know if I can ever fully be happy myself. It’s hard when the nightmares and the anxiety are holding me back.” 

 You took a deep breath, “Do you know how I got these scars?” 

 His eyes shifted towards you, running along the white and slightly puckered flesh along the side of your face. He shook his head, no. It hadn’t been a topic he wanted to bring up in fear of offending you, and you hadn’t really acknowledged them either. 

 “I’m muggleborn. The war was tough when basically the whole world was trying to track you down and take you away,” He hummed in agreement, knowing first hand what it felt like to go into hiding, not knowing what the next day would bring, “Greyback and his group found me eventually.” 

 Fred sucked in a breath at the mention of the werewolf, but you shook your head with a small smile gracing your lips, “I’m tough. I got away as quickly as I could, but not before he gave me these to remember him by.” 

 In a flash, Fred had pulled you on top of him, making sure to wrap his arms securely around you. You let out a surprised gasp at the sudden movement, but made no move to escape his grasp. He peppered kisses all along your scars, not leaving one inch of the skin uncovered. 

 You sighed contentedly when he finished, leaning your head against his chest, “The war changed all of us, simple as that. I don’t think we’ll ever be the same people we were before. I still get freaked out when I have to sleep alone at night, and I tend to double and triple check if all the locks and wards are in place, but when I’m with you everything seems to melt away.” 

 The silence was so deafening that you were afraid that he could hear your heart hammering in your chest. You had never really voiced any of these concerns outloud before, and you were afraid that you’d said too much. 

 “The only times I’ve ever been able to quiet my mind after the war are when I’m with you.” He says this so factually, but so quietly that you almost didn’t hear it. He doesn’t wait for you to reply, “I can see a future with you, and I haven’t been able to see a future for myself in a long time.” 

 The two of you lapsed into silence, taking comfort in the presence of the other, and no other words needed to be said. 

 You don't have to be scared you're not enough

'Cause what we've got going is good

 Slowly, things seemed to fall into place. Fred began enjoying once again the creative process that the shop demanded, throwing himself into collaborative work with his twin. You were getting more and more confident integrating magic and the wizarding world back into your life. Of course, you still loved your muggle job but you had missed the thrill and ease that the magical world brought into your life. 

 A routine formed between the two of you as well, slowly incorporating more and more time spent together until you finally decided to move in together. 

 The first time you had woken up because of a garbled shout, your heart almost burst out of your chest. You hadn’t realized you were reaching for your wand until you saw the culprit of the sound. Fred was sat up beside you and you could see his silhouette running a hand through his hair.

 You were quick to notice his stuttering breath and the sheen of sweat coating his forehead. Silently, you sat up and shuffled closer to him, leaning your head against his shoulder. The moonlight filtered through the window, casting a shadow on his face, but you could see the gears turning in his head. 

 “I’m sorry,” He muttered after long minutes of silence.

 “You have nothing to apologize for,” You whispered back, pressing a soft kiss to his neck, “I’m here and I’m not going anywhere.” 

 “I just feel like they’re never going to leave me alone, the nightmares,” You heard him mumble, “And I don’t wanna drag you through this shit with me.” 

 You snake your arms around him, pulling him to you with his head resting on your chest and beginning to rake your fingers through his hair before speaking again, “You’re not making me do anything love. I’m here, you’re okay, we’re okay, and that’s all that needs to matter right now. We’re in this together, remember?” 

 “Together,” He echoed, burying his face in your chest and taking all the reassurance he could get from your body so close to his. 

 The next time you panic as the sun sets and your flat turns dark, he’s there to hold your hand  and reassure you that he’s there and you’re safe. He lets you double and triple check all the windows and doors, and presses a mug of calming tea into your hands when you’ve tired yourself out. 

 You’re found curled up on the couch, grasping the warmth that the cup of tea provides, and he drapes a blanket over your chilly legs. 

 “C’mon then, make some room for me,” He says gently, and you scoot over enough for him to take a seat beside you.

 “Sorry,” You murmur, still clutching at your mug of tea, eyes slightly glazed over, “I know it’s a lot to deal with when I get like this.” 

 “Nonsense, love,” He says, pressing a kiss to your temple, “If I get to wake you up in the middle of the night because of a nightmare, then you have all the right to make sure we’re safe before we settle in for the night.” 

 The two of you sit in silence, Fred’s calming presence slowly easing you out of your stupor and your heart begins to slow. That night, he carries you up to bed and tucks you in once he notices that your eyes have shut and your breath evens out on the couch. 

 You learn each other’s ins and outs, what makes him tick and what makes you laugh. It’s a slow process, but you could see a light at the end of the tunnel. 

 The war and all of its casualties begin to seem further and further away, the more the both of you learn to live with your own demons and eventually let them go. 

 You and me

That's all that we need it to be

And the rest of the world falls away

 “Oi! If it isn’t the bird that’s caught my brother’s fancy!” 

 A smile stretched across your face as you entered the brightly colored shop and heard the familiar baritone of your boyfriend’s twin. You heard him before you saw him, up on the second floor, leaning against the banister with a mischievous twinkle in his eye. 

 “Hey George,” You called up to him, “Fred in?” 

 “Of course you’re only concerned about dear old Freddie, got no time for a chat for little old me?” He teased, making his way down to you and giving you a friendly embrace.

 You laughed lightly as you returned the gesture, “I’ll always have time for you George, but your brother’s supposed to be on his lunch break right now and I wanted to try that new restaurant that’s opened up down the street.” 

 “Oi, Freddie! Your bird’s here to whisk you away from doing any actual work around here!” He called out, which made you laugh even harder, and then turned to face you again, “Don’t forget, because mum won’t let me hear the end of it if you do, but you’re invited to lunch this Sunday! The whole family’s excited to meet you.” 

 You nodded your head just as Fred poked his head out of the door leading to the back office, “Here already love? Give me a mo’ and I’ll be right out.” 

 -

 The moment your feet touched the ground outside of The Burrow on Sunday, your heart began to race. The unique house, held up by mostly magic no doubt, seemed to loom over the pair of you, and suddenly all your fears came rushing back.

 It was a gorgeous day out, the fields surrounding the house seemed to glow in the sunlight. Laughter and conversation flowed through the open windows, and you could see glimpses of silhouettes moving around inside, but you were suddenly unable to take a step forward. 

 Fred was absolutely beaming beside you, it was the first time he had been back at the Burrow since he met you, and he couldn’t wait to introduce you to everyone. They had all been curious about the girl who was able to get him out of his rut and teach him how to live again.

 He noticed your hesitation though, and gently took your hand. 

 “You alright love?” He asked, rich brown eyes locking with yours. 

 “Just nervous,” You admitted, “Don’t know how they’re going to feel about me when they take a look at my face and see that I’m literally and figuratively scarred.” 

 These insecurities had plagued your mind the duration of the week leading up this moment. Fred was loving and kind and looked past all of your imperfections, but old habits die hard and they rear their ugly heads at just the right moment. 

 As if he could read your mind, he took your face gently in his hands, thumbs gliding over skin and reassuring you with his gaze, “I love you, and my family will love you too. We’re in this together, remember? You and me.” 

 Just like when you had first reencountered each other at the dimly lit club, the whole world seemed to fade around you and you leaned into his touch. Here was the man who held your heart in his hands, who bared his soul out to you and learned how to heal with you. Nothing could get in the way of how deeply you felt for him. 

 You took a shuddering breath and nodded your head. It would be okay. You were with Fred, and he was all you needed. 

 Grateful for the most beautiful soul in front of you, you pressed a sweet kiss on his lips, “I love you too. Together.”

[anasticep]

Why Julie and the Phantoms is a masterpiece of a show. Part 2. Heroes and Villains or Let that foil shine

NOTE: Thanks again for your kind response to Part 1. I never expected that. It being my first tumblr post and a first meta in quite a long time I was blown away. I read all the tags, some were really hilarious. About having more than one brain cell xDDD I laughed so hard. It means a lot.

NOTE2: Please remember that the gifs are made by me, so don't crop, edit or give as yours.

Part 1.

Before diving into meta, I have to mention that the Villain of the story is actually one of the best in the decade. He’s cool, evil from the start, we understand his motives and we certainly are not supposed to love and make excuses for him. The writers made sure of that. So back to the main topic.

A foil is a character who contrasts with another character; typically, a character who contrasts with the protagonist, in order to better highlight or differentiate certain qualities of the protagonist

Foils in literature are not necessarily antagonists. A friend can be a foil or sometimes even a thing, a song. Whatever can make a good and real contrast to the protagonist. But it’s not very simple to use this author’s device and not fall down a deep hole. Because you have to make sure you did just the right amount of work to make it understandable for a reader, the things you want to contrast are definitely there and still you don't waste a character. On TV it can be even harder given limited air time. And, well, I don’t come across this device being used in full very often nowadays. It’s usually good and evil fighting for the plot. That’s why I personally appreciate JaTP so much.

Caleb is clearly a foil to Luke. As much as I’d love to say that Julie also has one, that’s not entirely true, at least not this season. Carrie is not her foil though it may seem so, and I really think that’s cool as Julie’s journey is being presented through her own demons and I'm going to cover that next. That being said, of course Caleb doubles as an antagonist plotwise, but I personally consider him being written more as a contract to Luke so we could see and appreciate his character and journey better.

1. Origins

Caleb and Luke have extremely similar backgrounds. They are both natural performers. They know how to deliver, because c’mon, “Now or Never” is something and so is “The other side of Hollywood”. Stage is their natural habitat, their element, power. Although they channel this power from completely different places.

Let’s start with our little ball of energy. It’s emphasized TWICE that he doesn’t care about the money aka the physical side of art.

All Luke wants is to make music. Connect with people. He is so happy just to be heard despite him loving to perform. Making music is what makes him feel alive and basically that’s enough. I think if there was no “hologram” magic at all, Luke would have still been extremely happy to make music with and for Julie. Because that’s the way he is.

But Caleb doesn’t know that. He knows, and I’m standing by that, right away that Luke is the one to aim at. Because we always feel the similarity in people. If Luke said yes, Reggie and Alex would have followed. So Caleb recognizes the passion and shoots at them what he thinks is appealing. And, oh boy, he delivers.

“The Other Side of Hollywood” is a perfect song to emphasize Luke and Caleb being foils for each other. Follow me here:

But these lines come from very different places. For Caleb the only thing that matters is himself. He owns the show, he IS the show. It’s about being famous, drowning in applause, admiration. Look at how he performs. Confident, yes, but still very much in control. He must keep his perfect face. No flaws, no real emotions, no real connection (Did you miss ME? I did too // This band is back). Whereas Luke is simply living the best time of his life each time he performs. Is it just jamming? Bring it on. Doing fun riffs? He’s all for it. He doesn’t care how he looks (though who could deny gorgeous sweaty Luke), he owns the show just because he is a natural.

So back to the business. Caleb immediately puts the boys in his own shoes:

On the other side we live like kings // Your soulprint on the walk of fame on the boulevard of your wildest dreams // I got your glamour, got your gold, got all you’ll ever need

And, I mean, he is not that wrong. You can see the appeal on the boys’ faces. They are young, passionate, handsome, talented musicians. Of course they wouldn’t deny fame. Of course they would want all that to some extent. And Caleb is very sure he pulled the right strings.

Watch me make a move, I’m your number one choice

Also I have to mention, as we are talking about TOSOH (IKEA name again) and it being a foil for Luke, thy lyrics still don’t forget about what is important for Reggie and Alex (we’ll talk about that just a bit later):

Welcome to the brotherhood -> Reggie

Where you won’t be misunderstood -> Alex

Then again, lots of foreshadowing in the song, if you listen carefully the lyrics are stressing the true colors of the offer:

A tomb with a view

Man, what a metaphor. I would have run out of there the minute I heard this line. But our boys share one brain cell (I can’t get over how funny this is) and it’s currently taken by Julie, so I don’t blame them.

Disappointment is huge. Caleb read it all wrong. So we are moving to the next point in our Heroes and Villains essay.

2. Recruitment

It’s very cool that Caleb offers the boys to join his band right after Luke offers Julie to join Sunset Curve. They both are going out of their ways to get that (although have different budgets apparently. But look, they live in a garage). Luke made a hit with a bunch of Julie’s not very well structured lines (I love Flying Solo with all my heart as a song, but as a poem it just looks weird to me) to impress her, and we all saw the show Caleb had thrown to impress the boys. Plus food. And fancy dancing. But here is where contrast comes again.

Caleb offers to join the band, yes, but only as backup singers. It’s his show, remember? It’s only about him. He doesn’t care if they are even good. He wants their magic under control.

Share the spotlight with ME / How do you like MY new band?!

Luke offering Julie a spot in the band is a completely different story. He saw what she is capable of. He instantly knows she must be the key to a new sound, a new level. And he, a natural performer, frontman, lead guitarist, steps back and gives the spotlight to Julie. To think about it, he could have just got her magic under control by giving her simple lines, incorporating piano in the songs and that’s all. They would be visible, he would still be a center of attention, and Julie herself wouldn't mind that much. But that’s not who Luke is. Yes, there is a funny scene of “Hey, I’m your lead singer” and “you don’t have to be mean”, but it’s just messing around. Because right after that he finishes Flying Solo, writes several other songs with Julie, seeks her approval of Sunset Curve songs and basically follows her around like an adorable excited puppy.

Moving on and back to the rejection. Again the writers are mirroring them. Julie quits the band & the boys decline the offer. What does Luke do? Well, he tries the way he knows: books a gig, makes Reggie and Alex sing in perfect harmonies and does his puppy eyes thing. And it doesn’t work. And Luke goes to reflect and then probably try to come up with a plan. But something tells me he would not have haunted Julie until she joined them.

What does Caleb do after the initial rejection? Puts a cursed stamp that leaves them no choice but to join HGC. You don’t need to say more.

But in fact the more I think about it, the more I suspect Caleb also not possessing enough mental capacity for a human being. Like, if it wasn’t for Willie, how would they even know? Has Caleb planned to simply show up one day and casually explain? Look, foils in everything.

“You’re in a tough spot… So, you wanna join the band?” | “Looked like it hurt… you know where to find me”

But we sidestepped a bit.

3. Pulling the strings

After the song Caleb comes out to consolidate his success. What he does is clever and, btw, that’s the only time he becomes Julie’s foil. They are stating basically the same thing.

Again, Julie is concerned about the band and the boys, while Caleb is only concerned about having them under control. But they both are pulling basically the right strings.

What is interesting, Caleb actually impressed the wrong person (and that person is our sweet Reggie). Luke follows the string Julie pulled. Although the offer is tempting, he insists twice that they are in a band already directly to Caleb and then in Eats&Beats he says "It's like Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound». No matter what Caleb promised, Luke is not affected at all although Caleb’s offer is a very-very safe choice.

Speaking about using friends as foils, Alex and Reggie also serve as contrast characters for Luke at some points. Luke’s indifference to money is first stressed through Alex who is clearly the chief accountant for the band. His lines about not getting tips, living in a garage and «it’s a little bit about the money» are waved aside by Luke. Reggie is clearly the most affected by the whole Bobbie thing. His lines «I don’t care what Julie said, I’m glad we scared Bobbie», «So we’re gonna forget about getting back at Trevor?» are getting a clear contrast by Luke’s «It’s what Julie said, we have a new band, a new sound» and «He has to live with that guilt».

While editing the article I realised a very cool thing I haven't noticed before. How badly Luke wants to go on tour. And again that's another thing Caleb offers as if reading his mind. That's actually brilliant, to think about it.

Caleb is a VERY good reader. He tests the waters with a speech about disappearing from stage and going around the world and all dreams coming true. Still he doesn’t know the boys and especially Luke, so his phrase “no real connection” doesn’t register that much.

But he learns. Remember the lines I’ve marked before?

Reggie is afraid they will not be together after they cross over. He is in desperate need of a family. So wouldn’t it be nice to spend the rest of your afterlife with your brothers? (Reggie's main insecurity is loneliness, feel of a broken family. That's why he is the most concerned about crossing over. Will his family stay intact?)

Alex is insecure, and not being understood by the people closest to him will always hit hard. So welcome to a place where you won’t be misunderstood. And actually we know there is a guy you like and find comfort in. (Alex's insecurity is growing up in times when he could not truly be himself even with his family and for sure not believing he would ever be able to find someone meant just for him)

That mirrors the whole Luke’s beach speech perfectly. Only comparing them we can truly appreciate why Luke is the leader. He shuts down his own demons to make Alex and Reggie remember that they are not alone (“and I believe in you”. sorry. Olicity fan).

Caleb makes them suffer to get what he wants. But this time he is careful with the words aimed at Luke. Yes, he repeats his words about vanishing and applauses BUT he makes sure that his words about CONNECTION are the key words for Luke. Intense look, calming voice, touching - these are all elements of hypnosis. And Luke is in a daze. (Continuing the parents' thing, for Luke the main insecurity is not managing to connect with his mom. Maybe that's such a big thing for him: through all these people he wanted to find that connection with her)

4. The Hero’s journey

That’s the best part actually but I won’t be saying anything new or that you don’t know. Luke is made of lyrics and music. That’s his soul, heart, that’s the feeling running through his veins. He doesn’t need anything other than that in his life. Playing for eternity is “a gift no musician would ever turn down”. But he actually does turn it down. As well as his dream to go see the world with his band (is there covid in jatp universe?). He is the one who resists the hardest to the pull. Luke, who always has a guitar in his hands, doesn't want to play. Because it’s not only about the music now. He has this amazing girl in his afterlife who was willing to accept them for who they were, helped Luke battle his own demons, eased his pain and made him open up. And it doesn’t make sense any longer without her anymore. “And you’re a part of me now till eternity”.

Caleb, being Luke’s foil, completely misses the whole point of connection. It’s not in his nature. His house band are just recruits (Just so happens you’re in luck we’ve got a vacancy). For Luke his band is his family (We are the only family we ever gonna need). The Connection theme is one of the main in the show. And it’s so cool to show it focused through Luke whose best way of interaction is a touch. But not being able to touch Julie Luke has to find other ways, although it’s not that simple for him. And Julie backs that up: We connect in so many other ways. They literally touched each other's souls. Without knowing she put a stamp of her own on Luke, Alex and Reggie. They’ve never felt loved enough, appreciated enough, supported enough. They’ve only had each other. And Julie’s stamp is love. And for Luke (as well as Reggie and Alex) from now on this girl is worth dying for all over again.

_______

So yeah. I hope you enjoyed it, as I for sure enjoyed writing. There is gonna be a part 3 about Julie and a few honorable mentions of parallels of the Pilot and the Finale (I hope at least to do all that). I’ve also figured very very cool connections in the songs and I can’t wait to share.

Also as I was heavily speaking about The Other side of Hollywood, @catty-words has a wonderful meta on rain metaphors here (sorry for tagging, if you don't want to be tagged), check it out if you somehow missed it. It's super clever.

[chiliiscereal]

Too tall part 2

Raph x tall! Fem! Reader

——-

So here we are again lol I liked writing it so here’s part two!

——-

“Yeah he was a douchebag.” You agreed, tapping the seat nervously. Sure you were glad to have conversation but it didn’t need to be any info dumping. Quickly, you turned the conversation back around to him. “You kept calling yourself a monster earlier. Do you guys get called that a lot?”

You could easily see the nervous expression on his face shift to something more... bitter.

“You could say that.” He grunted.

Immediately you felt bad. It makes sense that he’s get called that. To be honest, the word ran through your head when he and his brother fell from the roof. But to call someone that to their face? That’s cold.

You straightened up, desperate to fix what you’d said. “I personally don’t see it. Well, other than you guys breaking my phone that is.”

He looked up at you with a glare, only for it to melt slightly when he noticed the grin on your face.

“Who knows, maybe that perv was on his way back with a few friends and you guys dropping down was exactly what I needed to get rid of him.” You shrugged, watching his golden eyes intently. Sure you just met him but you needed him to have the right impression, even if you might not see him again.

“Maybe.” Was all he offered.

Well, maybe sitting in the quiet was better. Running your mouth might have the wrong effect.

“Got a pretty good punch.” He commented after a moment of silence. He wasn’t sure what else he should say but he didn’t exactly want the conversation to die... purely because it would be awkward. “You...uh... you box at all?”

You examined the hand he’d previously wrapped, grateful you weren’t the only one talking. “No just had to learn to beat up guys when they messed with my friends. I’d like to in the future though.” You cleared your throat nervously. “Do you? Do you box?”

He nodded. “Yeah, a bit.”

You nodded as well. “Very cool.”

The conversation began to dwindle again so he picked it back up.

“If ya’d like... I could show ya a few moves.” He immediately regretted offering the moment he spoke. He.... he couldn’t help it! What was wrong with him? You’d said a few words he’d never heard before! That was it! And... well, you also cracked a few jokes with him... denied him being a monster... hell you even apologized to him. Apologies weren’t things he got often. “If ya ever in need ‘a course.” He covered himself quickly. “Got lots a spare time an’ a punchin’ bag.”

You blinked in surprise. A giant, mutant, teenage turtle... was offering you boxing lessons?

Raph mentally kicked himself for saying that. “Neva’ mind ya probably got other places to be-.”

“I’d like that.” You sat up a bit. “It’s not everyday that I get offered a boxing lesson by a mutant hero.”

The term ‘mutant hero’ threw him off. He was used to ‘monster’ or simply being referred to as ‘giant turtle’. But ‘mutant hero’? That was a title he could get behind.

“Can’t have ya goin’ around breakin’ the skin on your knuckles again.” He clarified quickly, gaining a bit of confidence back. “An’ I noticed that ya had your thumb in your fist when ya hit the guy. Coulda broken it.”

You snorted. “Yeah I wasn’t exactly thinking about that when he attacked me.”

“Impressive though.” He commented. “Thought we’d have to jump in an’ save ya.”

“Instead you jumped in after I did all the hard work and broke my phone.” You raised an eyebrow jokingly.

He looked down in embarrassment. “Yeah you can blame Mikey for that. Dumbass wanted to make bets about how long it would take for you to take the guy down.”

You flushed a bit at the thought of them watching you take your rage out on the creep. “I don’t really know what to say to that.”

He nodded, not really knowing what to say either. He was new to the whole conversation thing. Usually Mikey or Leo carried the conversations.

“Well looks like you’re all good.” He leaned back once he finished wrapping your hands. “Guess you can get your phone and we’ll get outta your hair.”

You stood up, backing up a bit when he did to. Man he really towered over people. “Well, except when I come back for that boxing lesson.”

He was surprised to be honest. You really wanted to come back?

You pointed your finger at him jokingly. “I’m holding you to it. You offered and there’s no backing out now.”

“Yeah... sounds like a plan.”

——

It was a plan indeed.

In fact, it became the plan for almost every afternoon.

You brought over your homework to finish up (with Donnie insisting he could help), chatted a bit with Splinter (he loved having new company), finally got to the boxing lesson (your favorite part), and then played video games with Mikey to cool down.

You had to admit, you were nervous the first few times you came over. They were to. You, of course, cracked many nervous jokes and accidentally made far too many cookies on your first trip back. You were excited and scared! Food was then way to peoples hearts right? They seemed nice and this was a once in a lifetime opportunity to make out of the ordinary friends.

They’d definitely been surprised when you showed up with about 3 tons of chocolate chip cookies but they were teenagers; it was eaten within the hour.

In your opinion it helped you break the ice. It was hard enough to find things in common when they’re completely different species! Cookies had become the common ground.

Being different species wasn’t the only thing. They were HUGE! For once you were the shortest out of everyone in the room.

Well, until you met April.

She’d been talked up so much that you couldn’t wait to meet the girl that helped them save New York.

She barely went to your shoulder.

But you two got along. Sure she was an adult and it was a bit awkward that she was smaller than you, but you managed. In fact you even liked having someone smaller than you around when you were with them. It made you feel more... normal.

“I was a bit awkward the first time I came here to.” She admitted as you two sat on the couch. You two were supposed to be trying to figure out calculus but it was fruitless. “They’re just so... huge!”

You nodded as you erased your work. “Yeah, I’m used to being the tall one. But now it’s like I’m gonna get stepped on!”

“Well you’re pretty tall yourself.” She waved it off. “Does that ever give you any trouble?”

You set down you pencil with a sigh. “A bit. It’s... hard to find a guy that will like all 6 feet and 4 inches of me.”

April shook her head. “Psh. Men. What do they know.”

“Absolutely Nothing.” You grinned. “The only thing they know is that they like small girls.”

“Eh, I can think of a few guys that like tall girls.” She hinted slightly, disappointed when you didn’t seem to notice. “You’d just have to... branch out.”

You shrugged and leaned back on the couch. “I’ve tried that.”

“Maybe you just need a different... angle.” She held up her hands to fully frame your face. “Maybe there’s a reaaaaally tall guy out there for you. Someone who won’t care that you’re 6 foot 4 inches.”

You snorted, wrinkling your nose at her. “Yeah, let me know when a seven foot guy shows up in New York. Preferably, he has to be my age, and my type.”

Just then, Raph walked into the room. “Done chattin’ it up or are ya gonna go for another hour?”

You jumped. “What in the hot tater tots, dude!” You put your hand over your beating chest as if that would calm your heart down. “I get that you’re a ninja but come on! You’re gonna give me a heart attack showing up out of nowhere like that!

“Ya gonna box or what?” He rolled his eyes, mentally facepalming himself.

You weren’t like his brothers.

You weren’t even like him.

He had to be more careful. But he wouldn’t make it obvious of course. Stealth was clearly his thing.

You rolled your eyes right back at him, grateful that he was at a point where he felt he could joke with you. “Can you let my soul return to my body first?”

He frowned, unsure of what that meant. “Uhh... you okay?”

You jumped up off the couch, breath finally caught. “Alright I’m good. I’d rather get another lesson in then have to deal with calculus anymore.” You kicked your notebook a bit.

“You could... I don’t know... get Donnie to help ya with it?” He offered half heartedly.

You shook your head. “Nah, I’d rather do boxing with you.” You patted his arm as you passed him on your way to the training area. “Let’s go!”

His face flushed immediately.

Shit.

April raised an eyebrow from the couch. “Damn. You got it bad don’t you?”

Double shit.

He glared at her as the blush on his face grew hotter. “Shut up. Don’t know what the hell youre talkin’ about.”

She pursed her lips and tried not to laugh. “Of course. Just can’t help but notice that you never offered me any boxing lessons. Strange.”

He turned before he could get anymore embarrassed. “I don’t know what you’re on but you’re dead wrong.” And with that, he left.

———

“So these are your katanas?” You asked leo curiously, holding the weapons as gentle as possible. He’d let you look at them while you waited for Raph to show up. Never did you think he’d let you actually touch the blades.

He did, however, stand cautiously next to you. “Yeah, Master splinter gave them to me. Wanna see a few moves?”

You nodded eagerly. “Maybe when I’m actually good at boxing you can teach me some as well.”

You watched as he swing the blades with ease, talking you through each move and it’s purpose.

“Mikey, I’m NOT using my tech to fit every cheese and meat in the world into one pizza!” Donnie stated firmly, walking in with his younger brother right on his tail.

“Why not?” He begged. “It would be genius! We could offer it to the world! Give it our blessing!”

“The world wouldn’t take it from us.” Donnie rolled his eyes.

“Then we give it to Y/n in our honor!” He gestured to you. “She could give our gift to the world.”

“The world don’t want no gift of ours.” Raph commented, finally walking in.

You perked up immediately, altho you were unsure why.

“That’s why we label it as y/n’s” Mikey protested.

“I’m not gonna argue with you about this!” Donnie brushes past him and you.

“Then just say yes!” Mikey exclaimed, accidentally shouldering you.

Now these guys are pretty big. When they shoulder someone, they really move them out of the way.

And unfortunately, out of the way was closer to where Leo was practicing with his katanas.

“Shit!” You hissed quickly when you realized how close you were.

You’d have been chopped up into finely slice pieces if not for the arms that wrapped around you and moved you away quickly. Your feet left the floor before you could even realize what was going on. All you could feel was your back pressed against something solid and hands at your waist.

“Mikey watch where you’re goin’!” Raph shouted, setting you down gently.

“Sorry bro!” He called over his shoulder.

You took a deep breath and squeezed your eyes shut, trying not to stumble when your feet touched the floor. “Wow, that was a little too close for my liking.”

“Ya good there, short stuff?

At this, your eyes flew open. “Short stuff? Excuse me?”

He saw absolutely no problem with the name. “What?”

You placed your hands at your hips. “Never, in all my years, have I been called short stuff.”

He snorted. “Get used to it. Around here, you ARE short stuff.”

You narrowed your eyes at him as he prepared the boxing gloves. How was he so casual about this?? You were never talked to like that! “If I were in the human world, I’d be treated with respect because I tower over all the underlings.” You attempted to joke to cover up your surprise.

He found your reaction... amusing. You reacted better than he thought you would actually. “Well you’re the only underling here, SHORT STUFF.”

You tensed, so very very VERY unused to nicknames. “Come on, you can’t make an exception for human standards of height?”

You didn’t hate it, you just hated that it caught you off guard. Being off guard was the last thing you wanted.

“Nope.” He tossed you a pair of boxing gloves. “Now let’s get to it.”

———-

Why did that name make you feel so... giddy? You couldn’t help but play that scene over and over in your head as you sat at the lunch table with your friends. Was this how all your friends felt when they got called stuff like that? Was this what you’d been missing out on?

And you’d never been picked up before. Not like all the other girls in your grade had.

It was strange... and you liked it.

“Hey, again, I’m sorry about what happened.” Your friend apologized. “I know it’s been a month already but it’s clearly eating you up!” She took your hand understandingly. “I know that whenever this happens you lock yourself away but I’m here for you.”

You snapped back to the land of the living. “Oh! Actually... I’ve been fine!” It was almost like you hadn’t had time to be sad about what happened when that guy stood you up. Like other stuff took his place in your head.

She frowned at you. “Are you sure?”

You nodded, a smile creeping on to your face. “Positive.”

She gasped suddenly. “Oh my goodness. You met someone didn’t you?!” She shook your arm before you could answer. “Don’t deny it! Who are they? What’s their name??”

You shook her off. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” But your blushing face said otherwise.

“I don’t believe you.” She pursed her lips. “Can I just have a name? Does he go to our school?”

You snorted. “Dude, I don’t like him. He’s just a friend I’ve been talking to lately. He’s been giving me boxing lessons-.”

“Oh my goodness you two are basically married now.”

“Wait what?”

“Personal lessons? Girl he’s got it bad!”

Her words stuck with you the whole day. Even when you walked into the lair that afternoon. They spun in circles like a loop, playing over and over.

Psh you didn’t have feelings for Raph!

No way.

And he had a bad for you? No. No, your friend just misread the whole situation.

Just friends, as you’d been for the past month or so.

But the moment you walked in and saw him... you weren’t too sure.

He glanced up at you and then back at his phone. “Hey, you’re here early.”

You shrugged, setting your bag down. “Didn’t feel like heading home right away.”

“Donnies in his lab area if you’re gonna do more a’ that math shit.” He offered, eyes not leaving his phone screen.

“Actually I don’t have any homework today.” You started slowly. “And if you’re not busy...” you waited to see if he would catch on. You continued when he didn’t, “then could we skip ahead to the boxing?”

Now he looked up. “Really?”

“Yeah.”

He attempted to cover his reaction. “I mean, yeah I got time I guess.”

“Alright, then let’s get some water and get started?”

“Sounds good to me.”

Mikey, Leo, and master splinter were all in the kitchen.

“Hey didn’t hear ya come in!” Mikey grinned, patting your shoulder.

You jolted at the strength he put behind it, unready.

“Ay watch it.” Raph ordered, guiding you slightly away from Mikey.

It was just that he didn’t want Mikey to hit you too hard. Because... then you’d give up boxing too soon for the day. And then he’d have nothing else to do.

“It’s fine.” You waved him off, flushing a bit as you uncapped your water bottle. “Can I get through guys?”

Unfortunately Leo and Raph had started an arguement about the way Raph handled Mikeys action and now no one was really letting you get to the sink.

“Fine I’ll do it myself.” You tried to go around Raph, and succeeded. He backed away immediately when he saw that you had moved. But getting around Leo and Mikey? Not so successful.

With Leo’s strictness turned to Mikey, the two began arguing.

You tried to dodge them but Mikey took a step back.

“Oh my goodness your brothers aren’t making this easy.” You complained to Raph.

“Tell me about it.” He rolled his eyes. Suddenly.. he got an idea. “C’mon short stuff.” He grabbed you and set you on his shoulders so you wouldn’t get squished by one of his idiot brothers.

“Holy shit!” You squeaked suddenly. Now it was you that towered above everyone else. “Should I get used to you grabbing me randomly or is this only a temporary thing?” You held onto his shell as he shouldered past his brothers.

“Possibly.” He shrugged, “but it’s funnier if ya don’t.”

You hit his shoulder. “So you’re doing this for FUN??”

“That, and you gettin’ hit by Leo or Mikey would be an inconvenience.”

Wow where was all this joking coming from?

“Then I guess I gotta stop reacting.”

————

From then on it was a contest.

He would move you randomly out of the way and you’d do your best not to react.

You never did get used to it but he didn’t need to know that.

He never gave you any warnings either, which didn’t help.

You’d be standing in the tv area and he’d pick you up and move you out of his way, smirking while he walked by if he got a reaction.

You had fun with it though. It was fun... and you enjoyed having something like that in your friendship.

You flopped down on your couch after your hard day at school. Today you had no boxing lesson planned and only a few chapters to read. You WERE planning on relaxing by yourself but...

Mikey sent you a message.

Shreks_love_child: hey are you planning on coming over?

You frowned at it. Didn’t he know you had the day off?

You: I’m just going to relax at home today

Shreks_love_child: could you do that another day and come over? Raph’s in a mood

You: why would me coming over help anything? And why is he in a mood?

Shreks_love_child: no reason. He just doesn’t yell as much when you’re around

That wasn’t true... was it?

With a bit of thought, you responded back.

You: fine I’ll be there in a bit. But you better give me a better explanation when I get there. AND you owe me

“Mom I’m headed to my friends house!” You shouted, slipping on your shoes and heading out there door before she could make you do something like doing the dishes before you left.

You walked down the street, enjoying the scenery.

Why would Raph be in a mood?

And why would you being there make it better?

Well Mikey better have a good reason.

Just as you were about to come upon the sewer lid that lead you to their home, you recognized a person walking your way...

...the same guy that had stood you up.

His eyes widened when he seemed to recognize you to. “Hey, Y/n!” He shouted.

Nope.

Nope nope nope.

You began walking faster, turning the corner and heading towards the lid quickly. You had to act fast. You absolutely did NOT want to get caught face to face with him.

You lowered yourself and placed to too heavy lid over yourself as fast as possible, moments before he turned the corner.

You let out a sigh of relief.

Dumbass. Why has he wanted to talk? He made it clear how he felt and what he thought.

Whatever. You didn’t need to think about him now.

You could already hear the sound of shouting.

“Mikey I told ya not to touch it! It’s not finished and ya coulda broken it!”

You made your way down the ladder and through the tunnels quickly. From the sounds of it, Mikey was close to being murdered.

“I’m sorry! You left it on the counter dude! I didn’t know what it was!”

You rounded the next corner, coming face to face with two defensive turtle boys. Raph held a small object protectively in his hands and his brother backed away.

“That don’t mean ya gotta mess with it!”

“I already apologized bro!”

“Apologies are shit! Ya got pizza sauce all over it!”

You cleared your throat, letting yourself be known.

Both of them turned to you immediately.

Relief washed over mikeys face. “Hey! It’s y/n! Whatcha doin’ here angel cakes?” He rushed over quickly, practically standing behind you to protect himself from his older brother. “Today was your day off! Huh. Well now you’re here, right?”

You rolled your eyes at him, moving your attention to Raph.

His whole demeanor had changed. He no longer looked ready to kill. Instead he stood up straighter and held whatever the object was behind his back. “Why ya here?” He asked with a frown. “Today was the day off.”

You decided to not give Mikey an even harder time than he was having and not rat him out. “Thought maybe I’d just hang out with you guys if that’s okay?”

He nodded. “Yeah I’m cool with it.” He narrowed his eyes at Mikey as if he suspected what he’d done. Unfortunately he couldn’t hurt him in front of you so he turned his attention away from his younger brother.

“Cool cool.” You nodded as well. “Wanna watch a movie or something?” You leaned closer a bit to see what he had in his hands.

“Yeah, just let me go get my... my phone from my room.” He closed his fist over the object and moved aside.

“Whatcha hiding?” You raised a brow at him. “Candy?”

“Not hiding anything.”

You followed him to his room with a smirk. “If it’s candy you gotta share.”

“Nope. Not candy.” His face darkened as he grew embarrassed about the possibility of being caught before it was ready. “Just go wait on the couch.”

You rolled your eyes and held up your hands in surrender. “Fine. But I hope the shame of candy hoarding follows you forever.” You turned on your heel and walked to the couch.

Just as you sat down, your phone buzzed.

Hey, I just wanted to apologize for what happened. Are we good?

The absolute audacity. That guy ignored you for practically five months! And now he was apologizing? And he wasn’t even giving you a good reason??

You wrinkled your nose at the screen as if it were his face.

It was a stupid idea I just wasn’t ready for anything serious

You shut your phone off and tried to swallow the temptation of throwing it at the wall.

You know it’s rude to ignore people right?

The phone hit the brick wall with a thud.

It had an otter box case it was fine.

You took a deep breath and held your face in your hands, elbows resting on your knees.

“You good, short stuff?”

You groaned into your hands. “Just let me die.”

Raph frowned, unsure of what to say. One moment you were excited and bugging him. Now you looked like someone stole your dog.

“Somethin’ wrong?”

You sat up furiously. “Yeah this dipshit guy keeps texting me!” You paced the room, snatching up your phone as you went. “He stood me up the night I first met you guys and now he wants to talk?? And he’s calling me rude for not responding!” You shook your phone angrily. “Either I’m gonna die or he is!”

“The douchebag?” Raph attempted to clarify. “Ya still got his number?”

“I didn’t have time to delete it.” You admitted. “I got so caught up with you guys! And then he tried to talk to me on the way here!” You sat down beside him with a huff. “Fighting crime is your thing right? You think it’s justified if I run to his house and kill him? Would you stop me?”

“Wouldn’t try very hard.” He huffed. “He’s a dipshit. Don’t see what’s right in front a’ him.”

Crap out of room. To be continued!

@sophiedoodles-blog @fanlovedlt

[mcu-fan-fics-blog]

Vormir

One shot

(Death of Reader)

Reader x Avengers

Word Count: 1500 approx

Vormir (Endgame spoilers kind of)

First story on Tumblr feed back is welcome. Don't judge too harshly. Hope you like it.

It hadn't been long after Scott came back to the compound that you finally had hope. It's been the longest five years of your life. You lost, and no one was okay with it. But here you are with renewed hopes and prospects in sight. 

"Right so we're splitting up into three teams, no room for errors." Everyone nods understanding, taking in every word coming out of Steve's mouth. You'd been paired with Clint, Rohadey, Nat, and Nebula. You noticed something was off about her since you walked in.

You didn't know her very well but enough to know something was off. You pulled her aside when everyone was off getting  their suits. "You know something we don't… What is it?" You say firmly taking her off guard. "Y/N one of you isn't coming back… Vormir the Soul Stone has a price. A soul for a soul."

You take a step back shaking your head. "There's got to be another way… I can't lose anymore people." She takes another step forward. "There is no other way." You sigh nod your head affirmatively. Nebula speaks again. "We should tell the team." She begins to walk off and you stop her. 

"There's no need to burden them with that choice… I'll do it." She makes a double take looking at you like you're crazy. She begins to talk you out of it when again you interrupt her. "Listen tell them that… I- I love them, I know we'll win in the end we always do." She nods and gives you a firm handshake. You nod and walk off towards the rest of the team. 

After Steve's very encouraging speech you couldn't be more solid on what you were about to do. The time travel thing was very much a weird experience. You very cryptically say your goodbyes. Rohadey didn't think much of it and hugged you goodbye. Again you nod at Nebula. You take you separate ways and you begin to climb. 

You decide to take a break when Natasha notices you scribbling on your notepad. "Y/N what are you writing? You seem very intrigued." You chuckle lightly and show her your list. 

Time Travel must do's 

Go to a bon jovi concert

Go to Oj Simpson's Trial 

Kill baby Hitler. (Maybe?) 

She huffs out a laugh. "I mean the first one is a maybe the rest seems a little ambitious. Don't you think" you sigh looking at the sky. "Let me dream Nat." Clint chuckles reading what you wrote from behind Nats shoulder. "I would go to the first world series and experience it in all its glory." Clint remarks. You raise your eyebrows at Nat. 

"You see Clint gets it… What would you go back in time and do?" She sighs deeply and thinks about it. "I don't need to go back in time… I have everything, well we will get them back and all will be right again." You nod, the lack of words not letting you reply. Clint sighs. "We best be on our way, we don't want to be here too long." Clint shudders when you pet one of the weird critters crawling around. 

Disgusting Clint mumbles thinking you wouldn't hear him. You laugh shaking your head while giving Nat a hand up. You make it to the top when suddenly a hooded figure appears. Red Skull you remembered him from one of them many stories Cap had once told you. What you didn't expect was him explaining the current predicament. You all sit in silent contemplation. 

When Clint starts up again. "There's got to be another way." Nat immediately shuts him down. "There's not, it can't be a coincidence. Thanos came with his daughter and left without her." It was like they forgot you were even there crossing you off immediately. They have this whole little talk about who deserves it and who doesn't. You should have stopped them earlier but you were scared. 

You stand and declare "I'm not doing it." Making them stop to look. You continue not giving them a chance to respond. "I have a list, a life, a family I want to get back." You say as you walk towards the edge. "Plus that's a long way down… it looks like it'll hurt." Clint laughs. "We weren't expecting you to." Nat however catches on and begins to sprint towards you Out of instinct you stun her and she's out on the floor. You carried her to Clint. 

You give Clint a look and continue. "It has to be me… you have your family to get back to. And Nat… Nat's finally going to be happy again." Clint shakes his head disapprovingly. "Y/N look at what I've become,  I don't deserve my family." You sigh "you deserve them more than anyone on this planet Clint. I'm not one to judge you on the worst mistake you've made. Remember when you found me?" 

Flashback 

2009

You were fighting off local law enforcement when suddenly you see an arrow being shot towards you. Nearly missing you, you turn to face your assailant. "Well, well, well who do we have here? SHIELD agent Clint Barton. To what do I owe the honor." Clint is in defensive mode ready to kill you at any moment. 

"Hey listen I would really like to get back home… please don't make this any harder than it has to be." He says honestly catching you off guard. You look out on your rampage / massacre then turn back to Clint. "You want me to make it easy? What makes you think I would do that? Look around this… this is all my doing."  He sighs, once again surprising you.  

"I simply don't want to kill you, looking around I can see you have talent. What would you say if you could do this legally." You tilt your head clearly intrigued by his proposal prompting him to continue. "See I've studied you Y/N… all of these 'rampages' as you call them never end in innocent lives lost." He sees the confusion on your face and decides to go more in depth. "I can either vouch for you at SHIELD where you'd get to be a paid professional assassin not to mention you'd be killing the enemy, or I could kill you right now." He says bluntly. 

"Well when you put it like that it's hard to say no Barton. How's the wife and kids?" You mention casually causing him to jump a little. "How do you know about them… answer me!" You sigh "it was just a hunch… either way your family is very lucky to have you." He calms down letting go of his grip on you. "Come on we better leave before the big guns get here." He starts walking away but stops when he notices you didn't follow suit. "See I was kinda waiting for the big guns… big corrupt family tearing, did I mention corrupt guns." 

He smirks and nods. "All in a day's work… My wife would really like you. You'd fit in perfectly with Nat." He says casually while you start to notice the reinforcement. You move your head to point out the threat and you both follow suit and disarm mostly you were killing but he didn't mind. You liked that he didn't judge. And as he promised he vouched for you, gave you a real chance even, let you meet his family. Who you loved, would do anything for them from the moment you met them. 

End flashback. 

You put your forehead on his. "If you have another kid he or she better be named after me." Clint laughs the tears forming on his eyes. You continue. "If not get a dog, and name him after me. But make it like a badass dog, a Great Dane or maybe a Rottweiler. Not a Chihuahua, badass Barton you hear me." He nods unable to contain the tears. 

"Here… it's for the kids. This was a good run Barton, better than I could have ever imagined." You hand him your note pad. You turn towards Nat and her eyes are open but she's unable to move. You wipe your tears. "I'm sorry red, make the most of it okay. Tell them I love them because they'll all be back. I believe in you." Before you chicken out of jumping you ran towards the ledge. Just before jumping you turn and see Nat regaining her senses nodding at you, her tears evident. "Something badass Clint…"

You sprint off looking up at everything you're leaving behind. Nat, Clint, his family, the team. Then you think of everything they'll get back: Wanda, Sam, Bucky, Peter, T'Challa. It makes you smile. You noticed Nat attempting to save you but Clint holds her back. Your facial features soften "its okay let me go." You mouth to them both. Feeling the impact make its way with your body. You're painfully aware of everything breaking until it's just darkness.

[teaandatale]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO @geekynerddemon who so lovingly wished for me to finish Layer on Layer. And though I haven’t been able to do so, I thought I would whet your appetite with a preview of Part 1 of my 2 Part Epilogue.

Please note this is a rough draft & subject to thorough revisions when I get the writing muse under control again.

Layer on Layer: Epilogue- PART ONE

“You see one painting, I see another, […] it’ll never strike anybody the same way and the great majority of people it’ll never strike in any deep way at all but—a really great painting is fluid enough to work its way into the mind and heart through all kinds of different angles, in ways that are unique and very particular. Yours, yours. I was painted for you.” ― Donna Tartt, The Goldfinch

Despite the scorching heat radiating from the sudden summer outside, Steve had turned the AC off while the sun blazed in through the windows of the loft’s living room where he’d been painting. He had his music turned up and he was humming as he worked.

Peggy had given him the custom made easel, sturdy, adjustable, gorgeous, no doubt pricey, as a gift. He’d been painting so much that Peggy had deemed it necessary he have an easel at her place, a designated space to work since he spent so much time there anyway. She had claimed is a selfish gift after he voiced concern about her being too generous, assuring him she looked forward to watching him paint from the comfort of her couch. And she often did, taking breaks from her work by watching him mix colors and paint broad strokes.

The first thing he had painted at his new easel was for her, another detailed flower arrangement, just for her.

After unveiling the final product of Ana’s anniversary painting, which reportedly made Ana cry, happy tears Jarvis assured, she had given Steve a tremendous hug and after their double date dinner, they discussed art for a long time, their significant others at their sides sipping tea opting to discuss the dessert spread instead. He’d been so happy and warm to sit there among her friends, her make-shift family, accepting and open to him. How he could possibly love Peggy more he didn’t fully understand other than that he was learning he did it with every passing day.

Not long after that, Peggy started suggesting dates at more art museums and galleries. She watched him paint and encouraged him to do it more broadly. To show his work. To do more commissions. He wasn’t sure about all that, but he did start to paint more and more. He’d started even transferring images out of his therapy journal into oils. He’d done several, even brought one in to show his art therapy group. They encouraged him to make a series, to show his stories on canvas.

Steve swirls his paintbrush into his yellows, ochres melding with browns.

He’s deep in concentration getting her warm brown eyes just right, the right shade, the touch of a knowing glimmer in them. He remembers the first time they locked eyes, across her bedroom, just down the hall from where he stood right then.

He’s so deep in concentration, he doesn’t think twice at the sound of the front door opening and then when he hears footsteps approaching.

“Hey Peg, aren’t you late?” he asks distractedly without looking up.

“She sure is,” a voice that’s not Peggy’s startles him. He nearly drops his palette, tipping it over and paint gets on his bare chest.

He looks up and sees Angie.

“Sorry!” she cries out, and he notices she’s not looking at his face when he sets the palette down, trying to wipe at the pint on his skin. “Wow. This is a look. Go English!”

Steve blushes, grabbing his rag and using it as a make-shift cover for at least part of his bare torso.

“I thought you two were meeting at your hotel for drinks,” Steve said, reaching over to the couch for his shirt. Angie is still staring when he slips it on.

“We were but she was running late. And so when she didn’t show I thought I’d see if we got our wires crossed and see if she was here. Sorry for scaring you. I still had my key, and I wasn’t thinking. I didn’t realize you’d be here.”

“It’s okay,” he said. “I’m sure Peggy just got caught up or stuck in traffic. You know how her work is.”

Angie nodded. “Yeah, she’s always going at a hundred miles a minute.” She stepped further into the room until she was right in front of the canvas. “You’re painting Peggy! You’ve been painting a perfect portrait of her half-naked looking like a Greek God. Unreal.”

Steve blushed further. “It’s hot in here but I prefer the breeze and the sunlight filtering in while painting so I turned the air conditioning off.”

“Oh don’t apologize, Steve. This has been the best surprise to walk into. I can’t imagine how Peg handles coming home to this every day.”

“We’re not living together.”

The yet goes without saying.

She giggled. “Yeah and when’s the last time you were at your place?”

“This morning,” he said defensively.

She just smirked and continue to devolve into giggles.

“You’re an amazing artist. That looks just like Peggy, down to that spark in her eye. I might need to hire you to paint me.”

He laughed. “Free of charge Angie. Friends and family plan.”

She grinned. “You’re as sweet as a button, you know that?”

“Can I get you something? Water?” he asked, already headed into the kitchen.

“Water’s good.”

They say down in the living room together chatting.

“How was your flight? Did you have press today?”

“Yup. Did a few of the morning shows. I have a late-night show appearance tomorrow afternoon that I’m pretty excited about. I can’t believe they’re having me on it!”

“We’ll have to record it. Peggy and I have been watching every episode by the way. But we’re a few behind because I have to wait and watch them with her. But you’re our favorite!”

“Aw, shucks. I cannot believe you got Peggy watching network TV.”

He laughed. “No I got her to use Netflix. You got her into network TV. She says you’re the most believable, though she always figures out the plot twists before I do. Are you giving her spoilers?”

“No way! And give away the impact of my performances before she sees them? That’s definitely all English. How’s she been? Super busy?”

“A little, but less so recently. She had a busy few weeks before her conference with the EU but she’s been keeping a regular schedule lately, coming home for dinner most nights.”

“Guess I just got unlucky with my timing,” Angie replied. “But I’m glad Peggy’s been taking some time for herself.”

Steve nodded. He’d seen Peggy in all sorts of ranges of stress in the last ten months. He’d been so glad that she’d been taking more personal time off, delegating, taking care of her well-being, seeking out his support when she needed it. Of course she was a busy woman. That was a given. But she always tried to make time. She always took the effort to stay present when they spent quality time together.

She’d gone out of her way to support his painting. They’d spent so many evenings out, sipping wine and swinging by the latest “hot” opening only for Peggy to proclaim that his work was much better, more moving, worthy of his own showing.

He still wasn’t all too sure about the whole artist career, but he loved how supportive she had been. How much she cared. How much she believe in him. It was nice to know if nothing else, he had a fan in Peggy.

“I’ve been trying to make sure she’s been taking care of herself better.”

“Good. I already know how good you are to her. She’s always happy to talk about you. I wouldn’t have believed it before actually meeting you.”

He shrugs off the compliment, after all he didn’t want the praise for just being there for someone he loved. Besides she deserved it and more.

“Maybe she’s got held up in a meeting. I’m sure she remembers our reservation,” Steve said after another fifteen minutes without hearing from her. “I’ll try to call her again.”

He didn’t catch her, but he did leave her a message reminding her of their reservation and that he and Angie would meet her there. Steve changed quickly in Peggy’s room and then the two of them hailed a cab. Angie filled him in on some L.A. gossip and some stories of her cast mates. He liked how bright and bubbly Angie was. He liked hearing stories of how she and Peggy became friends. How Peggy had always believed in Angie becoming an actress, and how the two always had each other’s backs. He liked knowing there were people apart from himself that cared so much for her.

They were early for their reservation, opting for the bar while they continued to swap stories. He checked his phone once they were seated but there were no messages. Angie convinced him to split an appetizer as she was starving and he hadn’t eaten since lunch.

“Must be some hell of a meeting English is stuck in for her to respond to my texts for like five hours.”

Steve hummed, checking his phone.

“Wait. What did you say? You haven’t heard from her in that long?”

[delightfullyatomicfest]

John Lennon and Yoko Ono in Melody Maker, 20 September 1969

JOHN LENNON HASN’T had a royalty cheque for two years. 

And, believe it or not, he’s feeling the pinch. The man whose group has again been voted top in both the British and International Sections of the Melody Maker poll told me that The Beatles’ own company, Apple, has become something of a monster which is out of control. 

“The problem is that two years ago our accountants made us sign over 80 per cent of our royalties to Apple,” he said. “We can’t touch any of it, and it’s a ridiculous situation. All the money comes into this little building and it never gets out. If I could get my money out of the company I’d split away and start doing my own projects independently. I’d have much more freedom and we’d all be happier. I still feel part of Apple and The Beatles, and there’s no animosity, but they tend to ignore Yoko and me . 

“For instance, [Radio One DJ] Kenny Everett recently made a promotional record for Apple which was played at the big yearly EMI meeting. It plugged James Taylor, The Iveys and so on, but it didn’t mention the things Yoko and I had been doing. And I think that what we’re doing is a lot more important than James Taylor. Apple seem to be scared of us. They didn’t want to have anything to do with our Two Virgins film, for instance. 

“The Beatles’ wealth is all a myth. The only expensive things I’ve ever owned are my house and cars, and I just haven’t got anything else. Don’t even break even on the films we make, and that worries me.” 

I asked John about his recent evening of films at the ICA. (A selection of John and Yoko ’s films, including Ono’s Bottoms and Lennon’s Self Portrait , which detailed the rise (and fall) of his penis, were shown at the New Cinema Club, Institute Of Contemporary Arts, September 10, 1969.) Why, for instance, did he feel it necessary to make a film like Self Portrait, with its highly controversial content, when Andy Warhol did the same thing years ago with his films Empire State and Sleep ? 

“It’s not like Warhol at all. He’s negative and we’re positive. I can’t stand negative things, and our attitude is completely different. Self Portrait has vibrations of love, and it has an immediate message of humanity. 

“When Yoko showed me her Bottoms film I thought it was ridiculous, but she explained it to me and I was convinced - I don’t remember how. I think it was the humour of the film, and that’s what we try to keep in our films. If we’re going to get these films shown, we’ve got to get into the scene. We’d like to make a film that wasn’t so underground in concept, but we wouldn’t do something like Barbarella or 2001 - although that was a lovely trip. 

“Films are moving ahead so fast - much faster than music or anything else. We’re hoping to have talks with a big production company which I shouldn’t name - oh well, why not, it’s United Artists - who seem to be interested. We’d like to get on at the West End.” 

Yoko, who was sitting by John’s side, chipped in, “We don’t know how to go about it. We’re sussing it out at the moment.” 

John continued, “It’s not like films, it’s more like TV. Dylan was right - it should be less important. Our films, and the Beatles and Stones albums, shouldn’t have so much noise made about them. The process of production is so slow. We’d like to speed the process up, and get a new album and film out every month. For instance, we haven’t been able to get our Wedding film out yet. And the trouble is that people will say we copied Jane Birkin on one track, but we didn’t. It’s just that we couldn’t get ours out fast enough. 

“Most of our films are like portraits. For instance, Smile is simply a portrait of me sending out love vibrations to Yoko, who’s on the other end of the camera. People say it’s boring, but they’ll look at Van Gogh, which doesn’t move at all, and they’ll have it on their walls.” 

I suggested that perhaps the audience at the ICA had been dissatisfied because the environment was wrong. 

“Yes, it would probably be best if people had the film at home and could show it on their walls and look at it when they felt like it. The ICA night was too long- but they asked for five hours of film and that’s what I gave them.” 

Wasn’t the work of John and Yoko coming to resemble an open diary, I asked? And don’t most people keep their diaries in their desks at home? 

“Yes, but who doesn’t like to read other people’s diaries? ” he replied. “That’s exactly what it is-but you must realise that The Beatles’ albums, and Dylan’s for that matter, are all diaries. We’re just bringing it out into the open and making it more honest.” 

Does this theory inevitably lead to disposable works of art? 

“Yes, that’s what we’re aiming at,” said John. “Yoko’s having her book of poetry, Grapefruit, reprinted and at the end there’s an instruction to the reader to eat the book.” 

Yoko added, “When you keep things they become tombstones. The world would be clogged up with useless objects.” 

Have they any new ideas for their well-publicised campaign for peace? “There’s this Peace Ship plan,” said John, “which is very strange because I recently read a book which contained almost exactly the same idea. There was this bloke in a white ship from which he broadcast peace messages, and then when I’d read the book a real guy came to me with the plan for doing it. Someone’s also given me some ideas for doing things in Nigeria and Biafra, but I can’t talk about it at the moment.” 

Does this suggest a more direct involvement with war and peace? “Not really, because I think that what we’ve done already, like staying in bed for peace, has been very direct. It wouldn’t do any good, for instance, if I was to go to Vietnam and get shot. That proves nothing, but it’s what people are always telling me to do. 

“We’re after people’s minds. If we go to see Nixon, for instance, it wouldn’t make him down tools, but we think we could find out what he thinks and tell other people. We’d know where he was at. 

“You can’t change anything by violence. You have to be aggressive, that’s part of everyone and I’m aggressive, but we have the machinery to challenge it. We don’t have to get involved in other people’s games, and I think that all the killers should be allowed to take their tanks into the desert and kill each other off. But I don’t want any part of it, and we’ve got the power to do something about it.” 

With two albums in the can Abbey Road and Get Back [sic] - would there now be a lull in The Beatles’ recording schedule? 

“The trouble is that we’ve got too much material. Now that George is writing a lot we could put out a double album every month, but they’re so difficult to produce. After Get Back is recorded in January, we’ll probably go back into the studio and record another one. It’s just a shame we can’t get more albums out faster.” 

Richard Williams

Source

[kittyprincessofcats]

She-Ra S5 E06 - Taking Control

Yes, I am still determined to finally finish these reviews because I have thoughts on all of these episodes and still want to write them down (even though it’s been ages), so here we go. Spoilers for the rest of the season in case you haven’t watched it yet.

So let’s get into it:

- I love that they just took Wrong Hordak with them and that they’re actually calling him “Wrong Hordak”.

- Adora obsessively checking on Catra all the time is so sweet ❤️ (but also sad because she just came so close to losing her for good).

- “I honestly can NOT believe it worked.” Yeah, I’m with Bow on that. But like I explained in my Save the Cat review, I actually love that their super risky plan ends up working, as it already shows that Horde Prime is not as invincible as it seems.

- “Well, friends and one person who threw me off a cliff once.” I’m so here for all the “former enemies who now casually reference all the times they hurt each other in the past” banter, you have no idea!

- “I am honored to provide nourishment for my exalted brothers.” I love Wrong Hordak. Pretty much every one of his lines is a winner.

- Change in the opening: Only a tiny one (for now), but Wrong Hordak has been added to the heroes’ shot in the end and his expression is hilarious.

- Catra’s flashbacks to Horde Prime submerging her in that pool are so painful. (I saw a theory on here somewhere that this is why Catra’s fear of water seems even worse in season 5 compared to before. It makes sense when you consider Horde Prime tortured her in that pool. Side-note: This also makes me want to have a word with all those people who complain that Catra’s redemption was “too easy”. She literally went through extreme torture and mind-control to protect other people, but go off about how that’s “easy” or not a vaild reason for those people to forgive her, I guess.)

- Gosh, just the fact that she’s so panicked when she wakes up 💔

- I love how Adora, despite being so concerned and wanting to reach out for her, holds back and gives Catra her space.

(- Side-note: Let me take this moment to shamelessly promote what’s most likely Noelle’s fanfic: Don’t Go by Annacharlier on AO3 does an amazing job filling in the blanks between Save the Cat and Taking Control and explaining what goes on in Adora and Catra’s heads here. Give it a read if you haven’t already!)

- “I keep having this horrible vision of a blonde girl who thinks she’s better than everyone barging into my room all day.” I love how Catra’s still her snarky self, though. And how Adora isn’t even mad and just smiles at this.

- Okay, so the obvious topic of Catra not wanting to face everyone she’s hurt aside, I find it interesting how Entrapta is the only person she doesn’t use a nickname for - she calls them Arrow Boy, Sparkles and Entrapta. I think it’s a mix of her knowing Entrapta better than the others, and her respecting Entrapta more.

- The entire fight between Adora and Catra is such a good scene (as sad as it is). Catra doesn’t want to face all her mistakes (she didn’t think she’d actually live long enough to have to), is plagued by obvious guilt and still doesn’t really realize that Adora came back for her because she cares about her (hence her accusation that Adora “just loves feeling like a hero”). Adora on the other hand thinks that things should be okay now because she saved Catra and they’re together again, so why can’t they just make up? She doesn’t realize that Catra needs a bit of time to really digest everything that’s happened. And that “I never hated you!” moment? Beautiful. I think it’s a huge thing for Catra to realize that even when they were enemies, Adora’d didn’t hate her.

- Many She-Ra episodes have two plots going on at once and one of them happens to be way more interesting than the other. In season 1, it was often “the Horde plot is more interesting than the Bright Moon plot” for me. In this episode, it’s a very clear “the plot in space is more interesting than the one on Etheria” - sorry.

- I’m glad we finally got a Spinnetossa kiss, though!! This season is just bringing all the gay!

- Micah freaking out about Glimmer potentially not liking him (not realizing that Glimmer’s really not a kid anymore) is also kind of cute.

- I love Glimmer’s expression when Adora complains about Catra. She just looks so #done with all of this.

- Adora calling Catra a “stubborn brat” is amazing. (Though tbh, I misheard her at first and thought she said “stubborn cat” - which would be true, too.)

- “Did you think she was going to just instantly become a totally different person?” That’s a very good point and I’m glad the show didn’t make Catra just insantly act completely differently.

- “I believe - in Horde Prime.” Look, I could just quote all of Wrong Hordak’s lines here because they’re just too good 🤣. Also, the fact that his apron says “Smooch the chef” in first one’s writing? Amazing.

- Poor Bow being the designated driver and having to fly into an asteroid field. Love how excited Entrapta is about it, though.

- I just noticed that when Catra’s getting those flashes after the ship is hit, the first image she sees is of Krytis!

- “Once again, Catra is ruining out lives!” Okay, but that’s really not her fault this time. Though I get that Adora’s just being overdramatic here. (“Then try not to hit anything!” 🤣) Also, my first thought was Wrong Hordak was sending the trace signal, not Catra’s chip - but the chip does make more sense, since Wrong Hordak was cut off from the hivemind and Horde Prime also couldn’t find Hordak for years.

- Honestly, the group on Etheria should have left that party way sooner. Something was so obviously super off there, and they noticed it as well - but still stuck around for way too long. (But then again, they had no idea about the chips at all, so maybe that’s a bit harsh.)

- The way Spinnerella moves her neck when she says “something weird just happened” - very nice hinting/foreshadowing there!

- “Me? Why would I wanna hurt you? Ooooh, you mean because you sent me to Beast Island, stole my work and used it to rip a hole in the fabric of space and time? I get it. Hold still.” 🤣🤣🤣🤣 Have I mentioned I LOVE ENTRAPTA??? I love how she’s not even mad at first and then so genuinely proud of herself for “getting it” - but also, since this is pretty much the worst thing Catra’s ever done and something she (rightfully) feels a lot of guilt over, I’m glad the show took the time to address it. Yeah, it’s played for laughs here at first, but then the episode actually seriously addresses it.

- “We’re doing this. Then if you think hiding from the people you hurt will make you feel better, we’ll drop you off and you’ll never have to see us again. *sigh* You’ll never have to see me again.” THIS MOMENT. Okay, let’s get into this: I like that Adora’s not letting Catra get away with anything here. That she tells her straight-up that they have to remove the chip or else Prime will find them, that she questions if hiding from everyone she’s hurt will really make Catra feel better, but that she also agrees to drop her off if Catra really wants that. And I like how Catra, now that Adora is offering her what she said she wanted earlier, realizes she doesn’t actually want to lose Adora again either. Adora offered to let her go, and Catra realized she doesn’t want that. I also really like Catra asking Adora to stay: It shows that Adora’s presence still makes Catra feel safe, hence why she wants her there for the chip removal procedure, but it also nicely foreshadows the finale, where Catra will ask Adora to “stay” again. Also, all that hand-holding and blushing? Cute.

- “I’m not protecting you, I’m protecting them.” YES. And here’s where Micah shows that he does take Frosta seriously and does understand how strong she is - good!

- Catra seeing Horde Prime’s thoughts: First of all, it breaks my heart how tiny and scared she sounds when she talks about Horde Prime “using” her (but also not really because I’m evil and I’m here for the angst). Then, I like how she insists she has to do this because otherwise Adora will “do something stupid and get herself killed” - Catra is super protective of Adora. And again with the hand-holding and asking Adora to stay with her 😭. I also like that it really works and Catra ends up finding out what Horde Prime is doing and even seeing what’s going on on Etheria.

- Also: I like that Horde Prime is genuinely furious about Adora saving Catra. That the whole reason he changed his strategy and started chipping people on Etheria is because he’s genuinely pissed about that and wants revenge (something Double Trouble will again confirm one episode later).

- Can we also talk about Adora and Catra immediately reaching for each other and hugging when the ship gets hit?

- “She-Ra, if you really are out there: Are you getting this?” Okay, but that’s just the thing: She literally is getting this! I like how the two plots connect here and how Adora becoming She-Ra and defeating the ships in space also helps Swift Wind power up and save the others.

- Everyone’s already talked about this at length, but I love She-Ra’s new transformation! The symbols representing Adora’s friends (winged boots for Glimmer, heart for Bow, mask for Catra), the way better outfit and hair in a ponytail, the beautiful galaxy background with those lights, the triumphant orchestra version of the transformation music - I’m here for all of it! (Also for Catra’s little blush at the end there.)

- She-Ra destroying the ships in space is epic.

- Catra’s apology to Entrapta is such a huge moment for her and such a nice scene! I like how she technically didn’t even have to do it: Entapta didn’t expect an apology and was already on her way out. But Catra has been feeling bad about this for a long time and realized now that she doesn’t actually want to run away. And after we’ve seen Catra being awful to everyone and feeling guilty over what she did to Entrapta since early season 4, it feels so good to finally hear her genuinely apologize for it (and genuinely apologize to someone other than Adora in general). And Entrapta patting her head with her hair is so precious 😭. I love both of them.

- The scene of Catra joining everyone else at dinner is so good 😭😭😭. How she’s finally ready to face them, but still sits away from them, not expecting to be forgiven or accepted, how Bow and Glimmer make room for her and invite her to join, how her ears perk up at that, Glimmer offering her food, that glance between her and Adora... YES. Catra is someone who’s been rejected and made to feel like an outcast her entire life, and she was convinced everyone hated her now. Bow and Glimmer inviting her to sit with them here was so important.

- I love Entrapta asking if the food comes in smaller sizes. She just has a thing for tiny food and I can respect that.

- And... oh no, Spinnerella is chipped!

This was another really good episode! I like how it shows Catra’s growth and shows her working on herself. I also like how things weren’t just immediately okay between her and Adora and that she still has to work on actually redeeming herself even after her heroic sacrifice. But I also think it’s realistic that Adora and Glimmer aren’t holding a grude against her, since she literally went through hell for them. Her apology to Entrapta was really beautiful and all the soft moments between her and Adora make my heart melt.

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