#Airplanes meme FUCKING SUCKS

[collector1observer]

12 and 1/4 years of MordeTwi

Well here's my sucky way of celebrating it. This ship is so misunderstood. I honestly believe people should stop doing that Airplanes meme, really.

some supplementary stuff from me

I might need to update my defense of MordeTwi someday.

[olderthannetfic]

I'm in a fandom where there's a lot of (some would say too many) minors. Which is fine in and of itself. Even though the media technically isn't for them (the movie was rated R), the stage adaptation certainly brought in a wave of new fans, and that's always a good thing. In fact, I'd say most are fans of the play and haven't even seen the movie in a while or at all. And these kids are creating things, mostly fanfic and art, and it's genuinely amazing.

The problem is most of the content (the fanfics) is crap. And I don't mean like it's not my thing or their ideas suck, no, some of the things they're writing about are about my blurbos, and their ideas are great! Every idea is or has the potential to be *chef's kiss*. Just the execution is bad. Basic SPAG is out the window, "no betas we die like men" (I know it's a meme but what they really mean is no proofreaders smdh), bare-bones dry as hell telling not showing, and there's just so much of it. And I get it, they're kids, they're trying, they're learning, they're going to suck. I was also a kid and my writing sucked complete monkey butt. But there doesn't seem to be a crumb of improvement happening anywhere. And I know change is gradual, but when you pump out 100 actual fanfics in a year or less, there should be some growth, you know what I mean? I should be able to read your first-ever fic and your most recent fic and notice, "wait, something is different here!" but that's never the case.

Most if not all is objectively garbage, and they keep eating it up like it's gold. And the objectively nicer fics, the ones with proper SPAG and clear research, that captures a character voice so clearly especially when it's not the Canon Voice, that takes so much time to craft and polish and are so rich with detail, depth, complexity, and nuance (and are, admittedly, long as hell) get barely a glance, much less a comment. It hurts. All that effort and no one cares. So many good writers aren't writing anymore and I'm tired of junky fast food. I want a quality homecooked meal by that weird aunt I never see but I know makes some good fuckin lasagna.

It's really fucking weird how that's such a thing, the crackfic you shat out in an hour gets all the kudos and comments while the AU/UA you slaved over for days, weeks, months, years even, gets maybe two comments if you're lucky, and one isn't a reply. All that effort and for what if no one cares? I'll consume it because I made it, but I want others to try too, that's why I brought it to the table. To share. And it's not even a rarepair or a "I don't like that char/pair" thing because a lot of people are multishippers. My main pairs aren't the most popular, but it's pretty up there. The cake comic only works if people actually come up to the table. If no one comes up, what happens?

I suppose it has something to do with instant gratification, doesn't it? The more content you pump out, the more there is to consume, the more they'll eat it up because cheap garbage is an endless supply while gourmet food is a luxury most can't afford. And I know there's also the whole "people don't like waiting so they won't read WIPs" (at the same time, slowburns are immensely popular?) but on the other side of the coin there's "no one is interacting with WIPs which is why they never get finished if the author hasn't moved on from the fandom because [reason]". I know that's why *I* won't post anything til it's done, or it's a oneshot. Attention spans are so short nowadays, and if details are not spoonfed to readers with airplane noises, they won't use their brains to pick up on the nuance, and it's shit. It's shit storytelling and I hate it so damn much.

I tried reading a BNF's most popular fic in spite of the fact I don't ship the ship like everyone else and their mom, and I couldn't get past the first part of the first chapter. Not because of the ship (the whole point of the fic is them getting together so they're not together at the start, obviously) but because the writing was so incredibly mid. Like, this is what everyone's creaming their panties about? This thing? Really???? And I thought, well, they put out a new oneshot recently, I'll read that and see where they're at. Their most popular fic took a long time to craft and they had to have gotten better over the years, right?

Spoiler alert: they didn't.

I don't understand.

And they've got such a wide reach, I keep seeing their very distinctive art style and people praising the fuck out of their mediocre content I just ended up blocking everything and anything having to do with them.

I know so much of this is "be the change you want to see in the world you bitter old bitch" and "if you want something done right you gotta do it yourself ya dumbfuck" but I'm really tired, burnt out, and I want to relax a bit. I read and rip into shitfics and they make my blood boil with how incredibly bad they are and I want to write just to spite them because I know I can do better, I have done better, but I can't do that right now (and that's incredibly irritating because I want to). And sure, fandom isn't serious. But it also doesn't have to suck this much ass. Really makes you appreciate the gems buried hidden under all the rock and dirt and manure.

Gaah, sorry for all this. I just have a lot of frustration and I genuinely hate the state of the fandom. Clearly creativity around these parts is named Persephone; she's gone to Hell and she ain't coming back for a long, long, painfully long time.

Thanks for listening. Again, sorry for my rambling rant. I love reading your replies so if you have anything to add, I'd love to know!

--

Heh. This is often the case in a fandom with more enthusiasm than experience.

Some people do improve over time from exposure and practice... But writing 100 fics won't do much if the writers are only reading other similar fics and nothing else. Moreover, if most of the audience is similarly inexperienced, they're not going to be able to see the lack of quality you do. They genuinely like the crappy stuff and create an echo chamber where that style is lauded.

Short attention spans matter some, but I don't think that's the primary culprit here.

[planetdream]

ship your moots with skz members? 👉👈

aaaaa i’ve been wanting to do one of these cause i think they’re so cute <3 was trying to align all my besties w their bias but sometimes fate has a plan....

— @skzkkun with chan <3 | what can i say really? tia and chan would be that couple that's always touching each other in one way or another...not even anything horny, they just can't go more than ten minutes without holding hands. they send each other those silly little heart memes and will start flirting with each other in the middle of the group hangout. and some of the time it doesn't even sound like real words??? just a series of mumbles but they understand each other so well. they're the couple that has something embarrassing happen to them in broad daylight—but they just end up laughing it off and going about their day.

— @ballelino with minho <3 | dee and minho are that couple that leaves the group hangout early (they left after an hour) because they would rather be with themselves, alone. no words, just eye contact between the two before they get up and leave 💀 they both have this (non-sexual) dominant aura that could come off a bit intimidating but they're so silly when you really notice them. i think you two would have dates regularly: food dates, phones dates, visiting you mid-shift dates, etc etc. they're the couple that older people see on the street and compliment bc of how cute they are.

— @youn9racha with changbin <3 | ella and changbin both have this cool, sleek aura that surrounds them. where they kinda seem a bit intimidating but they’re actually the opposite: silly and filled with so much wonder for how the world works. not only that but they're filled with sooo much love. i feel like they’d see each other eye to eye and understand things for what they are rather than what they seem to be. they're the couple that you meet at the movie theater and complain with because the movie sucked—only to realize you have mutual friends.

— @hynjnhwng with hyunjin <3 | obviously i can’t ship myself w hyune but mint and him would be such a perfect match! they’re both super artsy and i think they would learn from and teach each other so many things. they’re that couple that you see at the coffee shop or at the grocery store just fucking around and doing cute little things. literally, the couple that little kids walk up to and give little rocks or flowers (and in some cases lint) as gifts bc they think the two of them are cute :(

— @eroskz with jisung <3 | both val and jisung have a similar energy—they’re both so sweet and kind, and kinda dorky. i just feel like they’d get along well with each other. when one of you is excited about something, BOTH of you are excited about something. they would be that couple you see at the park on the swing set that's obviously built for kids, but it won't stop them from having the time of their lives until one of them falls flat on their face trying to outdo the other...

— @moonhoures with felix <3 | i don't think i've ever heard moon talk about stray kids (but i know you like them right?) but let me tell you why she and felix would be the cutest: they're both super soft. the couple that tries so hard to finish each others sentences but fails and when they finally do it, no one notices 😭moon and lix would be the couple that people go to for advice, they always lend themselves to others, and it's really admirable. they're the couple that you see in a restaurant feeding each other—and one of them is making airplane noises.

— @jptrskz with seungmin <3 | both alice and seungmin give off similar energy to me and i think they’d compliment each other really well. they’re both so caring and i could only imagine them bickering a bit about who is gonna take care of who 🙄 just a never-ending cycle bc they love so deeply. the couple that keeps to themselves but they're really nice and after you speak to them you notice that you see them EVERYWHERE. they have so many hobbies and so many things that they like to try and it's sooo cute :((

— @gyuphorias with jeongin <3 | i know lix is your bias but hear me out, you and jeongin would have such great chemistry together. just...college boyfie jeongin and moon??? he's visiting you during your shifts at the library...bringing you snacks and stuff. is always hanging around your place, just because he wants to be in your area. they're the couple you see in the cafe with one of them cramming for finals and the other just looking all lovingly at them :(

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 291: The Endeavor Pamphlet

Previously on BnHA: Dabi showed up atop Gigantomachia’s back and was all “you’ll never guess who I really am!” and the readers humored him and were all “who?” and he was all “TODOROKI TOUYA” and we were all “WOW └(���。・)┘ OH MY GOSH I WOULD NEVER HAVE GUESSED”, except for Shouto and Enji who were GENUINELY SHOCKED. Anyway so Touya was all “and guess what I’m doing right now!” and before anyone could even try, he was all, “STREAMING MY EMMY-NOMINATED MINISERIES ‘HELLO, I’M EVIL BUT ALSO TRAGIC AND SEXY, NOW LET ME TELL YOU ALL ABOUT MY DAD WHO SUCKS’’, THAT’S WHAT.” And everyone was all “oh my god” and Touya was all “ヽ(⌐■_■)ノ♪” for basically the rest of the chapter, and that’s pretty much it! Oh, wait, except for the part where he also doused himself in bleach in a fit of pure theatrics, which is actually pretty much the main takeaway from the entire chapter really because it was just wild af. ANYWAYS.

Today on BnHA: Horikoshi introduces Baby Touya, the world’s most enchantingly sweet character, and is immediately all, “I sure can’t wait to tell you guys all about how his fucking jaw burnt off.” Thankfully he doesn’t (YET), and we cut back to the present pretty quickly, where Dabi explains how he took all of his brain cells that should have been used to stop him from pouring bleach over his head, and instead put them all toward his big brain plot of releasing an elaborate video detailing Endeavor’s various abuses and crimes, and even throwing Hawks under the bus as well because WHY NOT. He then leaps off of Gigantomachia’s back (like I said, no brain cells) all set to blast them with a Prominence Burn, only to be stopped by none other than THE LEGEND HIMSELF, MOTHERFUCKING BEST, PRETTIEST, NICEST, MOST OUTSTANDING MOTHERFUCKING JEANIST. Who’s no doubt outraged by the crime against hair he witnessed only moments earlier. GO GETTIM JEANY BOI.

so I haven’t had time to answer any of them because this has been the stupidest week, but I just wanted to tell you guys that I received no fewer than nine asks about Dabi’s hair. which, in a week filled with election memes and tumblr’s most cursed fandom briefly rising back up from the dead, is a pretty impressive feat for him if you ask me. like, I know I was making fun of it basically nonstop, but it sure did generate a lot of discussion so maybe I should rethink my opinions on Dabi’s PR strategies now, idk

anyway. it’s Saturday. time to catch up on this shit. let’s see how fucked the Todorokis are

OH NO HE’S CUTE

HOLY SHIT THIS IS TOO MUCH TO FUCKING PROCESS. I’M JUST TRYING TO ENJOY MY DAY HORIKOSHI, ARE YOU REALLY GOING TO TRAUMATIZE THIS POOR CHILD RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY SALAD

“thanks for being all right” the fuck

who allowed this child to be so cute. I’m serious. who signed off on this

how could a child this adorable possibly want to murder his equally adorable baby brother. please, your honor. there must be some mistake here

guess how prepared I am to read all about Touya’s tragic past. mm. that’s right. zero ready. none ready

anyway. TWO THOUSAND DEGREES LOLOLOL. NO TRACE OF A CORPSE HOW CONVENIENT. A PIECE OF HIS LOWER JAW BONE FFFFMSGHKLSh. LOVELY. LOVELY

LMAOOOOO

listen you guys. I just want to take a moment to appreciate that Horikoshi Kouhei did one of two things here. either (1) he planned it out FROM THE VERY START that Touya would be born with red hair Because Fire Powers, but would then have his hair turn white due to trauma, thus making the Dabi/Touya connection very slightly less obvious, although Let’s Be Real Who Are We Kidding. OR, (2) the anime got it wrong and gave him red hair, and rather than allowing this plot hole to continue to exist, Horikoshi took it upon himself to concoct this elaborate storyline and pretend it was never a plot hole at all! in which case I sure hope someone at Bones is sending him a VERY nice Christmas card this year. got this man sweeping up all your messes for you. you’re just lucky he has some sort of wild compulsion to address these things

anyways!!

FATHER AND SON. how sweet. :| still zero percent ready for any of this btw

STOP BEING CUTE

THIS IS RIDICULOUS. I’M SO MAD RIGHT NOW. HE IS THE SINGLE CUTEST CHARACTER IN THE ENTIRE SERIES, and do you even know how many other baby characters I’m betraying in order to say that?! baby Kacchan, baby Deku, baby Ochako, baby Shouto, Eri, baby Hawks. I’M LOOKING YOU DEAD IN THE EYE RIGHT NOW AND TELLING YOU THAT BABY TOUYA IS CUTER THAN ALL OF THOSE PLEBS. AND YOU’RE LOOKING BACK AT ME RIGHT NOW ALL “YEAH IT SURE IS A PITY ABOUT HIS JAW MELTING OFF THOUGH.” THAT’S IT, I QUIT THE SERIES

and Enji’s smiling at him. he’s so proud of him. but then Touya won’t be able to do it, and Enji’s gonna stop training him, and Touya’s gonna feel like a failure and keep pushing himself in order to try and win his dad’s affections back, because that’s all kids fucking want, all they want is just love, that’s fucking it, you couldn’t just give him that?? and then he’s gonna immolate himself fflkdlskfh THERE YOU SEE HORIKOSHI, I KNOW THE WHOLE STORY ALREADY, YOU DON’T HAVE TO DO THE WHOLE “SHOW THEM THE DEAD DOG” THING YET AGAIN YOU PIECE OF SHIT

OH SNAP THERE GOES THE TWIN THEORY. R.I.P.

BABY FUYUMI. PRETTY CUTE. NOT AS CUTE AS TOUYA THOUGH. HEY LOOK, NO REASON TO GET MAD AT ME I’M JUST STATING A FACT HERE

YEAH THIS IS GONNA GO REAL WELL OH BOY

I keep pressing the emergency stop button but this industrial tragedy machine just keeps on chugging along anyway, I’m pretty sure this thing is not up to code

:| I am so sorry sweet boy, Horikoshi is only getting started with you

FUCKING HELL WITH THIS NARRATION

but he wasn’t actually a child to you, he was just a little puppet child for you to live vicariously through!! and then you went and did the same fucking thing with Shouto afterwards and never learned your lesson until just six months ago!! fucking hell, Enji

so now he’s all “Touya is dead, that’s an unforgivable lie” fflkdhflk motherfucker does he look dead to you. if you really think that, tumblr and twitter have got a little over five years’ worth of archived theory posts to show you

oh shit Touya’s countering with “it’s an unforgivable truth”, which, damn. I actually think Horikoshi’s dialogue is one of his weaker points as a writer a lot of the time, but that comeback was snappy as fuck

actually guys, now that I’ve seen how ridiculously fucking cute baby!Touya was, I can almost understand why Shouto and Enji never put the pieces together before lol. any passing similarities would have easily been dismissed on account of he’d need to be at least 10x more adorable in order to get the full resemblance

OH MY GOD

NOW YOU SLEEP??? SO YOU POINT BLANK REFUSED TO PASS OUT WHILE YOU WERE BUSY MAIMING ALL OF MY FAVORITE CHARACTERS, BUT NOW THAT THERE’S AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE YOUR REACTION TO THE “YOUR LIEUTENANT WAS SECRETLY RELATED TO ONE OF YOUR WORST ENEMIES THE WHOLE TIME” BOMBSHELL, YOU FINALLY DECIDE TO GET YOUR FORTY WINKS. I SEE

WOW DABI

I’M SURPRISED YOU DIDN’T ALREADY HAVE YOUR ANCESTRY.COM RESULTS PRINTOUT READY TO FOLD INTO A PAPER AIRPLANE AND ZOOM ON DOWN TO HIM

LOL NEVERMIND

gotta say, so far The Endeavor Pamphlet is just about as spicy as I could have hoped

(ETA: Natsuo’s face as he watches his beloved dead brother come back to life only to literally and metaphorically set everything on fire in one fell swoop is :/. why must you do this to me Natsu. can’t you see I’m trying to throw a Welcome Back Jeanist party here.)

HAVE YOU READ THIS?! TODOROKI ENJI ABUSED HIS OWN HEIR, AND DABI WROTE IT DOWN RIGHT THERE

WELL HE’S NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / NEVER GON’ BE NUMBER ONE NOW / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT / THAT’S ONE LESS THING TO WORRY ABOUT

btw I neglected to mention this last week, but yes I do recognize and appreciate that this is Can’t Ya See-kun himself whom Horikoshi has chosen to be the face of this existential crisis which the general public is about to experience. rip CYS-kun

OOF

excuse me. putting aside the implications of Dabi sharing this context-less murder video of Hawks with the entire world for a moment, I just have to pause for a sec here, because when exactly did he get a chance to edit this all in?? complete with voiceover that seamlessly ties in with the prerecorded footage of him with DNA test results sans shirt?? you’re telling me this motherfucker, with all the smoke that was in the room thanks to his own quirk, somehow got a PERFECT SHOT of the PRECISE MOMENT when Hawks drove his feather knife into Jin’s back, using his MAGIC CAMERA THAT HE I GUESS HAD THE ENTIRE TIME IN THE POUCH RIGHT NEXT TO HIS BLEACH BOTTLE, and then immediately somehow got this very next shot as well FROM AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT ANGLE

ALL THE WHILE IMMEDIATELY RUNNING THROUGH SCRIPT REVISIONS IN HIS HEAD, WHICH HE THEN PROCEEDED TO RECORD... WHERE, EXACTLY?? WITH SKEPTIC, WHILST RIDING ON MACHIA’S BACK??

AND THIS IS ALL YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF???

and this after I just wrote that whole long paragraph positively GLOWING about this man’s ability to plug up a plot hole. jfc. just scratch out every damn word I said lol. just forget all of it

are you fucking kidding me, the footage was from the cameras Skeptic planted on Hawks??

that’s... actually... okay you know what, it still doesn’t make any sense in the slightest, but the determination to address it nonetheless... just, dammit... I feel like I’m constantly at war with myself over whether or not I want to shake this man’s hand or slap him lmao. whatever, then!!

anyway, since Shouto and Enji can’t actually see the damage that Touya is dealing to the hero industry even as they speak, Touya is taking it upon himself to give them the highlights

I think it’s a testament to how much Endeavor cares about Hawks that he managed to zero in on that comment even amidst all the craziness of his eldest son returning from the dead to announce how he’s been carefully plotting their destruction for years and years. like, he heard “Hawks” and his face immediately went like that. you think he’s worried that Dabi did something to him? because he’d be right to worry lol

so the Endeavor Pamphlet narration is now explaining all about how Hawks totally killed the Number 3 Hero Best Jeanist as well! yep... he sure did... totally...

OH MY GOD WE’RE CUTTING TO HIM AHHHHH

Hawks, that is. lol. not Jeanist. NO, JUST MY POOR HALF-DEAD WINGLESS BABY SON

NOOOOO HIS LITTLE WING STUMPS. BUT SOMEHOW HIS FACIAL HAIR IS STILL INTACT. OH TO BE AN ANIME PRETTY BOY BEING SET ON FIRE. “HEY, TAKE IT EASY, WATCH THE FACE”

EXCUSE ME WHAT

interesting! we suspected as much, I think, with the clues that Ending dropped, and the little flashback right after the name reveal. still not clear how Dabi found out about it though!

looooool okay here we go, breaking out the heavy-handed holier-than-thou shit now

you know, I do find it interesting how trying to model themselves after All Might’s noble Symbol of Peace image has kind of ended up being the heroes’ undoing here. like, I could write a whole essay on this, but what it basically boils down to is that they were all trying too hard to be perfect. All Might went out there and did his thing and was amazing, and so the powers-that-be built an entire system centered around this seemingly-infallible person, and they acted like the system was infallible as well. and so most of the population ended up becoming complacent over the years, and meanwhile the people who were unfortunate enough to fall through the cracks understandably wound up disillusioned and perceiving the heroes as these false idols

anyway, but I think one positive takeaway from this is that the new up-and-coming generation of heroes represent a breakaway from that system. like, imo what we’re witnessing is the downfall of the Perfect Hero, and the rise of the imperfect hero. and this new generation doesn’t shy away from their failures or pretend like they never happened. they pretty much can’t pretend, because their failures are all right out there in the open for everyone to see. Bakugou Katsuki, just to name one example off the top of my very biased head, has had his own personal character journey basically play out right in front of the media’s eyes. his humiliation at the sports festival, his kidnapping by the League, and all of the fallout afterward. this isn’t someone who can ever go out there and convince the world that he’s perfect. but what he can do, instead, is show the world that he’s trying. that he’s trying with everything he has to do his best, to be the best. rather than this untouchable godlike image, it’s instead the image of someone painfully human who is nonetheless striving with everything he’s got to keep moving forward, flaws and all, and work his way to the top

and ultimately I think that’s going to be a much more positive image to send out to the world when all’s said and done. because rather than merely inspiring awe, heroes like that inspire people to take action themselves. or at least that’s what I hope! and not just Bakugou, but the others as well. we’ve got Shouto, whose own personal trauma is being aired in front of the whole nation even as I sit here ranting. we’ve got Deku, who cries at the drop of a hat, and who fought to become a hero despite being quirkless (and I think it’s only a matter of time before that eventually becomes public knowledge as well). tl;dr because I’m getting way too long-winded here, but these kids have effectively been humanized in a way that the old generation never was, and I think that’ll go a long way towards building trust between them and the people they’ll someday be protecting, and inspiring the next generation in hopefully a much healthier way

anyway so where were we. ...oh yes, Dabi was explaining that heroes only protect themselves, and is presumably building up to his grand conclusion of “therefore you should all just let the villains take over and burn down the world”

omfg. YOU GUYS

DOES CAN’T YA SEE-KUN’S SHARK FRIEND ACTUALLY CALL HIM “CAN’T YA SEE-KUN.” HE HAS A NAME YOU KNOW!! UNLESS HE LEGALLY GOT HIS NAME CHANGED TO CAN’T YA SEE-KUN. OH MY GOD

ALSO, IS THAT CAN’T YA SEE-KUN CRYING IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT THERE OMG. GIVE THIS CHILD A HUG. EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING RIGHT NOW AND HUG HIM

BAKUGOU IS BARELY HANGING ON THERE LOL. GOTTA STAY CONSCIOUS... SO MUCH TEA BEING SPILLED... FOCUS... CONCENTRATE

IIDA’S ANGLING HIS HEAD IN A WEIRD WAY, LIKE DUDE. LOOKING SUSPICIOUSLY SNUGGLY THERE. MMM THESE IIDABAKU CRUMBS

HADOU IS ALL “WHAT EVEN IS ACTUALLY GOING ON” LMAO

LASTLY, POOR SHOUTO OMFG. WHEN YOU’RE ALL FINISHED HUGGING CYS-KUN THIS CHILD NEEDS YOUR ATTENTION!!

so now Dabi’s leaping off of this ninety-foot-tall gargoyle man like that’s a normal, smart thing to do. unless he can fly too now? saw his dad doing it back at Fukuoka and was all “hmm”

OH MY GOD SOMEONE TELL ME RIGHT NOW WHAT WORD SHOUTO IS USING TO ADDRESS ENJI, THESE TRANSLATIONS LOVE TO MESS WITH MY HEAD

ENJI GET MOVING DO YOU NOT SEE THOSE TEARS!!! SNAP OUT OF IT YOU BIG TREE

AHHHHH

OH KACCHAN YOU WOKE UP A LITTLE MORE THERE, HUH

lol he and Deku both look so determined but they’re basically sitting ducks. their “oh shit” faces do look remarkably like their “TIME TO SWING INTO ACTION” faces but don’t be fooled, they have one good arm and about six pints of blood left between the two of them. looks like this one’s all on you Shouto

-- AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH --

BAH GOD... WHAT’S GOING ON HERE... THAT’S BEST JEANIST’S MUSIC

y’all. can’t even talk right now, my brain has completely shut down lol. just. ...

  °˖✧◝(￣▿￣)◜✧˖°

[thesaltminesrph]

PSA: Be Upfront

Communication is important in RP.

Now, to preface, I am not going to use the really awful phrase "it's a hobby not a jobby" because this is a really sketch take on what is important to people. You can have a hobby mean a lot to you, be you a collector, a gardener, someone that builds model airplanes, a writer, an artist, etc. Those are all hobbies, and the fruits of your labor are NOT only valuable to you and others if you are paid for them. This saying implies that should you never be a published author, never have a painting sell, never do something that can be sold or have a time clock punched, it doesn’t at all matter. It’s a really discouraging thing to be telling people, quite honestly. I have multiple hobbies outside of RP. Kind of really sucks to see constantly they don’t matter because nobody pays me for what I do. I know I’m not the only one who has said this, but the majority aren’t willing to say it amongst the clamoring of ‘rp isn’t a job’ because then you get people jumping down your throat. Hear me out though! I’m not done.

“BUT I HAVE REAL LIFE!”

Yes! So do we all! We all have problems, and things to take care of. The RPC is littered with people with mental illness, neurodivergence, chronic physical illness (I hit all three categories multiple times, LUCKY ME!). Do not, I repeat, do not ever feel like you need to put RP before: bills, marriage/children/other relationships, your health. Literally, do not have your takeaway from this post be these are secondary to your hobby. They are not. Do not get evicted because you were too busy doing RP at your desk at work, that’s just plain dumb af.

You owe people decency means:

-if you can only do aesthetic posts this week because you are low on writing spoons, that’s fine

-if you had work/health/mother-in-law take over you life this week and you literally didn’t have time to log-in even though you wanted to, that’s fine

-if you are sick in bed and can’t bother to write, that’s fine

What it also means:

-dropping what was supposedly a years long ooc friendship because the other mun isn’t dropping their current muse for you and following you into a different fandom ‘because they’re now boring’ and telling them as much in a message...is shitty behavior.

-daily reblogging multiple memes that people are sending in to you, your wire, your discord, ignoring both those and messages to plot, then whining on the dash that no one wants to write with you (also known as trying to guilt trip interaction, obviously you only wanted it from one specific person not the people actively engaging you)...is shitty behavior.

-claiming you’re open for plots and memes, then only replying to the one or two people consistently for 6 months...is shitty behavior.

Again, in case it wasn’t clear- it’s your blog, it’s your life, it’s your health. That’s not in question.

HOWEVER- be upfront and give people some honesty! What do I mean by that?

If it’s feasible, post that you need a writing break, even if it’s going to be indefinite. Take as many fucking breaks as you need to for your physical and mental health to be the best they can be (I’m not going to say great, as I know what it’s like to just have a ‘good’ health day mean ‘it’s less shit than it could be’).

But if the situation is really you only want to write with these one or two people, just say so! It’s your blog, you’re allowed to decide you’re closed for plots, asks, etc. Just don’t lead people on. Don’t say something and mean something else. Don’t keep reblogging your promo and really you don’t want to write,  and you don’t plan on taking on new mutuals, and don’t plan on replying to dms or threads from anyone else.

I’ll repeat it a little differently to be sure it’s clear- you dictate your activity level and number of mutuals, when you answer asks, threads, etc. This should be at a level that is suited for you and your life, health, etc.

BUT when you engage in RP you are involving someone else’s free time with yours, and it is not fair to them to act like they do not matter. You have involved someone else. Until you disengage from them, be courteous.

I’ll give you an example. When you ask for that starter on both your dash, then DMs, and act super hyped, getting the other mun excited for it, and then they put the time and effort into writing it up and posting it for you, expecting a reply? Only for you to go and make new blogs and immediately ditch that muse without a heads-up? That’s not really fair to the other mun. You communicated you wanted to write this, you hyped them up, they spent their time and writing spoons on your starter...and then you told them other people were more exciting and a better use of your time.

“BUT I DIDN’T TELL THEM THAT!”

Okay, so you didn’t message them ‘Hey loser, your starter sucked, your muse is boring, and honestly, a different fandom is better! Bye!’ But your actions sure give that impression, and unless you communicate otherwise, it’s a shitty move.

Now yes, sometimes you genuinely forget a starter was written because you thought it was drafted and it wasn’t, dumblr is an ass and loses your draft and then you forgot it, something came up that day and bumped it from your mind, etc. NONE OF THESE ARE WHAT I AM REFERRING TO. I have ADHD, object permanence is the thing my brain does where often unless it’s directly in front of my face, it doesn’t exist, until I find it again. I’m aware these things happen, as are most muns, and we don’t mind! Hell, we usually have in our rules “hey if it’s been a hot minute and we haven’t replied to this, feel free to give us a little nudge to see if it’s been lost” because we all know between brains and dumblr’s everlasting fuckery...shit gets lost.

I’m talking about those times where you just up and leave someone hanging without communication. I’m also not saying it might even be on purpose. What I’m saying is you should consider how other muns feel when you do this, and if you cannot avoid it, at least communicate with them.

“Hey, I’m just no longer going to be writing this muse. Sorry I had you write that starter. Do you want to try something with this new one? This is where my brain is at right now.” “Hey I really can’t be online this month thanks to fill-in-the-blank but I do still want to write when I am able.” “Hey, I see you sent in that ask. I’m only interested in this one ship, and I won’t be taking on new threads, but you’re welcome to follow and maybe I’ll take on new threads later. I’m just writing with these two people right now.”

Communication is something that is a requirement in a collaborative hobby.

I know it can be scary. I know the mentality ‘well they reblogged that meme but it’s not for me, I know they said they want to plot but they don’t mean me’, but you really have to get past that when you roleplay to be fair to other people.

Spoiler alert: the examples of shitty behavior further above are what help feed this ‘that post/meme isn’t for me’ mentality, when you do those things you’re fostering people’s anxiety and rejection sensitivity...just saying.

If someone gets mad at you for communicating with them, they’re a shitty person and block them. Literally if someone has a problem with you for trying to start something, especially as mutuals, you’re losing nothing by not writing with them. Find nicer people. So don’t  be afraid to communicate you can’t write currently, you need a break, you’re only writing with these certain people. And don’t be afraid to send in the meme. I promise you, the right people appreciate courteous communication. The ones that don’t...

Again, no one is saying put your life on hold for RP, you’re never allowed to narrow your scope, you’re supposed to always have writing spoons, you need to produce five replies a day or you’re wrong, you always need to log-in to communicate you had a family emergency/depressive episode/etc.

What I am saying, is if you are capable of communicating, respect the time and energy of your fellow muns who may also be very low on spoons and free time themselves, and be honest about where you are at when it comes to taking on new threads, new asks, new partners, etc. Treat others how you want to be treated, and consider you probably wouldn’t like being on the receiving end of the behaviors I’ve described. If you need to be on the clock being paid to be a nice person...please re-evaluate.

[unholyverse]

the lore of the bands before (a pre-waterparks primer)

ok i’ve decided that i know too much and wanna make a livejournal style primer about the history of the band(s) before waterparks (pictured below) for anyone that wanted to know what the hell ive been talking about again for like the past two months. this shit’s legit man it has citations (and my commentary).

the blue poptarts

let’s begin with the first known form of the band, the blue poptarts, started roughly in 2004 under an unidentified different name with different members (source). also here’s their (extremely broken) myspace through the wayback machine

the band consisted of four people: awsten knight (vocalist, guitarist, keys), jawn rocha (guitarist, vocals), chris walzel (bassist, vocals), and owen marvin (drums)

(owen: far left, chris: kid with glasses, awsten: green shirt, jawn: kid that looks the least white) (extra note: i am so glad i never tried starting a band when i was 14)

now, what does a self proclaimed “radxcore, crunkadelique, yay, choloxcore, rainbowxcore, and applexcore” band sound like? like a band you used to listen to in like 2008 when you wanted to be ~different~ and when you discover it years later, you realize it sucks. that’s basically it.

they had an album called electric birthday party produced by jonathan cook (forever the sickest kids) (source) and the album art is still very endearing.

their recorded songs that can still be found include: 

all the dinosaurs are dead 

the airplane’s not supposed to fly this high 

it ain’t easy being gangsta 

the ballad of chadam kool

and here are some performances by them (some under very different lineups): 

at a hot topic (blurry version here)

pulling an i’m so sad, so very, very sad with a song called AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA AA

a live cover of something where jawn is the only person i recognize in the lineup

one where the lights are just super red 

one from that same night but in blue 

this absolute wreck where awsten’s screams sound like pig squeals 

my personal favorite, their last show where there is silly string, awsten is screaming, and also he hangs off the ceiling

there’s a chapter in awsten’s book about the band’s escapades after a hot topic show in little rock, arkansas (here’s the tour poster for that if you’re so interested) where former member michael austin brought random hot topic employees into their hotel room and gave the members off brand viagra which made jawn think he was dying from it because he had suddenly gotten sick (he actually had food poisoning from the pizza they ate). yes this is all real.

after five years of being one giant wreck of a band with rotating members, the blue poptarts had their final show under that lineup in september 4, 2009 where they opened for blood on the dance floor (source) and presumably awsten got offered crack cocaine by them behind the venue (source). but there was more in store for some of them...

over 9000

you may ask, why the fuck is the title of the next section a dead dragon ball meme from 2006? and i have to answer with that is the actual name of the next band. it was 2010. just be glad it didn’t end up being the name of a rage comic.

awsten was very adamant about promoting his shitty little bands with his shitty little flyers outside of shows in the houston scene and one of these flyers ended up in the hands of otto wood, who contacted them through myspace (big deal because he literally does not have social media) and joined as a drummer for the new form of the band: over 9000 (also abbreviated as o9k or wo9k (we are over 9000)).

the lineup was still the same outside of the replacement of owen with otto and after the departure of chris, it was just three of them. 

this band is a little easier to trace because they were actually getting somewhere (at least they thought but we’ll get to that later), awsten mentioned some of it in his book, and also bc tumblr was rising in popularity at the time and sometimes you can actually find posts from that time if you look hard enough on here (a prime example is the @fuckyeahwo9k with old pics n shit). going off that, here is an also broken wayback capture of their blog before its deactivation and their twitter.

but anyways, back to the band. compared to its first iteration, over 9000 were more X___X than XD!!!!!! if you get what i’m saying. still very scene, but like not in the rainbow induced vomit way of last time. 

their first official show was on march 13, 2010 as dated by this video post-show of awsten going hardcore on the macarena. but their first known show with otto was on january 30, 2010 (source: this girl’s slideshow) (note: they were still technically called the blue poptarts at this point) at the source’s 16th birthday (i don’t know why them but it was 2010 *shrugs*). also the night before that birthday show was the events of the only youtube video on their channel where otto attempts to smother awsten with a pillow for being annoying. 

there are literally no studio recordings of their songs available so complied below are shitty live recordings of some of the songs i could salvage (general warning for heavy strobe and flashing lights)

youcan’taskquestionsduringmovienight

everything opens with an o / blood bath and beyond (note: these are two separate songs just in the same video and the second song is cut off at the end)

a car full of angry kids

some other songs they did live were either old blue poptarts songs or lost with lyrics only found here and here is someone with the old song files on their computer

here’s a setlist they had around the time (source) 

the shows weren’t near the amount of horrible chaos i documented earlier but rest assured, there are other videos at the least:

slideshow of their first official show

two povs of otto going unreasonably hard on the drums (king you are already carrying them you don’t have to do this)

the blue poptarts song, i set aquaman on fire, where awsten and jawn do a crabcore squat at some point. it’s very funny.

like less than half of a song where otto gets on his drumset to yell “MAKE NOISE” and it ends with awsten and jawn trying to situate the crowd

a very crunchy acoustic performance

their “no shirt, no shoes, no bass, no problem” show after chris left

supposedly the album was supposed to be called xThuggin Rhymesx (source) but i still have no idea if it was just a filler name / inside joke, but honestly given the fact that their name is over 9000 and it was 2010, i wouldn’t be surprised if this was the actual name.

there’s also only like two interviews of them in existence: a casual one with hometown friends/fans and one with a music magazine which both segue into the next part of all of this

the boys got the chance to record an album in detroit (images of the studio they were living in can be found on jawn’s twitpic here, here, and here) at 37 studios.

i’ll just let awsten explain the end of the band (passage taken from his book)

So the newly-formed band I was in with Otto was literally the product of us being bullied into making convoluted, garbage progressive rock. The music sucked. We weren’t good at performing it. We just sucked in every way, but that didn’t stop us from promoting it extremely hard and pushing it on the ears of anyone who had the displeasure of crossing our paths.

As soon as I graduated high school, we got an opportunity to work in Detroit with a certain band that a couple of us liked at the time [I See Stars], and we immediately jumped at the opportunity. The “manager” who set it up for us seemed very interested in our music and helping us grow as a group, so I was sold. I was so absolutely set on making the band work that I was willing to sink every penny I had into this trip, including any and all graduation money I received. We all did.

Upon arrival, we realized that this was a complete and utter shit-show.

We would be in Detroit for two weeks, essentially locked in the studio (we left the complex one time for a couple hours in the 14 days we were there) and were about to learn the hard way that most people in the “industry” don’t give a fuck about anyone but themselves. The amount of things we paid for and never got was staggering.

When we first showed up at the studio, the lowlife producer yelled, “Well, where’s all your fucking gear?” He asked us this despite the fact that being able to use their in-house gear was a fee included in the thousands of dollars we had somehow been able to scrounge together between the three of us.

He then tried charging us money to sleep on the mattresses that were in a side room, another cost that was already included in what we had paid. There was then a closed-door yelling match that we could clearly hear between the producer and the “manager” who had booked us this trip. We were off to a good start, but rest assured, it got much worse.

The producer we were paying to work with was celebrating his birthday by getting drunk and staying home, which extended through our entire trip. We never met the guy. We didn’t get to use the gear or equipment we paid to have our songs recorded with. The guy from the band we liked rarely made it into the studio, and if he did, he was always about seven hours late (even though he evidently lived twenty minutes away).

On what was supposed to be a long, productive day in which we went over our songs and restructured them to make them better, we waited around for twelve hours before he finally came in as the sun was setting. We had been so excited to have some creative input from a guy we respected, and by the time he arrived we were completely deflated.

“Fellas!” he cheerily greeted us. (What smug piece of shit has the audacity to walk in twelve hours late to work, where people are literally waiting for him to get started, and yell “Fellas”? Drop, you weak fuck.) “Sorry I’m late, but I brought chips!”

He threw a couple bags of Funyuns and Salt and Vinegar chips on the table in our direction. It’s hard to imagine a more creatively degrading situation, but it’s situations like these that have hardened me in a creative and business sense. He departed after an hour and a half.

I saw him again years later when we played the Vans Warped Tour in 2016, and I don’t think he recognized who I was, because he introduced himself to me with an ugly, “Sup brahhh?” Sometimes it’s hard not to punch someone in their shitty little rat face. Therapy makes you want to go back and defend past you from bad people/situations, and 2018 me would absolutely go back to 2010 and break this guy’s nose for disrespecting me, wasting my time/creative energy, and essentially stealing all my money.

We also didn’t get the new promo pictures, the new website design layouts, critiques on our songs from a “songwriter’s” standpoint, and were constantly being guilted for being there. One day, the “manager” who set this whole thing up asked me to PayPal him $30 for gas so he could come in to the studio and see how we were doing. I was 18 and barely had money to get food at that point, but I sent it anyway because I desperately wanted them to like me. He never came in that day.

I spent most of my time there riding a skateboard through the halls and listening to Death Cab and Gorillaz remixes, hopelessly waiting for people that didn’t care we existed to come help us craft a listenable release and give us the body of work we paid for. I didn’t want to tell my already suspicious parents how bad the trip was turning out and how terrible our circumstances were because I didn’t want my mom to worry and I didn’t want to prove that their skepticism was justified, even though it definitely was. So I avoided checking in, blaming it on business, and when we would talk, I’d tell them things were “going well!”

We found ourselves in a panic on our last night in the studio, given that we were nowhere close to being done recording on account of the dumbshit producer never showing up and working painfully slow whenever he did decide to swing by. The band guy had stopped coming in altogether. We never even met the producer who we had paid to work with originally. The bullshit in-house producer we’d been recording with was severely drunk to the point where he’d passed out on the couch and we were desperately sifting through Cubase tutorials (the recording software he was using, when we were promised Pro Tools) on YouTube, trying to figure out how to operate his bullshit system. We were stressed beyond belief and gradually coming to the realization that this was all fucking whatever and it wasn’t going to be completed.

We never got our songs back. All of us were extremely broke and pissed off. No one gave a fuck about us and we were nowhere remotely close to legitimate. Stuff like this put me in a mindset where I really don’t give a shit about networking or making nice with bands, and I still accidentally subconsciously carry that with me today. Rappers are funnier than band guys and also aren’t competitive with you, so it’s more fun to be around them.

When we got home, we had a show booked at a high school and morale was at an all-time low. All of us were pretty bummed about the status of the band and we were only holding on because it was fun to play shows.

Fun fact: on the drive up to the school, a very scary gentlemen next to us at a red light who also had his window rolled down pointed a gun at us and we ran the light through traffic to avoid getting maybe shot, Houston, baby!!!!!!

Unfortunately, the show went fucking terribly. The bright side is we only sucked in front of 15 people. Actually, that’s a negative too, dang. We had gotten used to it at this point, but Otto was always really hard on himself and us after every show, so we got used to it when he wouldn’t talk to us after a set. It came as no surprise when we got the silent treatment while he loaded up his drums. However, we weren’t prepared to discover that he was going to drive away and never speak to us again, thus ending the band. We didn’t talk after that, even as friends.

tl;dr: they had a shitty time in detroit trying to record because it was a giant scam and disastrous on all accounts. their last show was at a high school (videos of it linked in the passage) after they came back and after the show, otto ghosted them completely, ending the band and their friendship. 

yea kind of a depressing end compared to the rest of it huh. but of course, this was not the end of everything.

the early beginnings of waterparks

in 2011, awsten started waterparks when he was 19. he was on the verge of dropping out of college. he also had a leg tumor. he had a lot of shit going on. while otto was ghosting him and jawn was a high school senior gearing up to go to college, one of waterparks’ earliest lineups was with owen marvin on drums and gage matthieu on bass and unclean vocals. their first and only music video with this lineup can be found here (password is WTRPRKSDICKPICS bc that was the name of their snapchat and also when i posted this to youtube awsten nerfed me)

eventually, that lineup dissolved and awsten was left finding a drummer again and had to contact otto as he was the only other drummer he knew. awsten had already sent him their first ep and otto loved it (source) and otto said yes when asked to join parx’s practice (the full story can be found here and continued here).

eventually, they got geoff wigington on guitar (and also kicked gage out) and the official waterparks lineup was born :)

bonus: geoff wearing an old o9k shirt for their new wave video

where are they now?

while the fate of chris and owen remains unknown to me, i feel like it’s kind of obvious what happened to the three i emphasized on

awsten: he’s the singer-songwriter and guitarist of waterparks. he dyes his hair a lot and is a capricorn sun and gemini moon. this should tell you a lot about him. he types in all caps on twitter and i’ve had him muted for over a year. i used to bully him on here before he deleted his tumblr and i still have no idea if he ever saw my messages. also one time he submitted a text post to waterparksdrama asking how big his own dick was.

otto: the drummer and eye candy of waterparks. he has no social media other than a twitter he abandoned after making three tweets in 2011 and an instagram awsten made as a joke for him that will eternally be empty. he’s basically amish in my eyes and he climbs trees, gets chased by bees on his farm, and plays baseball. i’m pretty sure he’s immortal. also i have to live with knowing details of his sex life. long story. my chemical romance makes him dance =) (side note: i will eternally be jealous that he saw them on pro rev 2007) 

jawn: waterparks’ photographer and friend. he used to play bass during their early shows after otto came back and geoff got added to the roster. besides photography, he does twitch streams either about his photo editing process or just playing silly little games. he has a glowing keyboard so you can tell he’s legit about this shit.

so yeah! all’s well that ends well and all that shit. they seem to be having genuinely decent lives. all i ask is that if you’re gonna spread this shit do not fucking do it in the eyeshot of anyone mentioned here (i.e. post about this on twitter or instagram) i’m just trying to get a story straight and i don’t think they really want to remember this but other than that, i hope this informed you and got the whole story down.

[awsteb]

waterparks “point flying over head” meme where it’s airplane conversations and black light saying “texas fucking sucks” and the guy is saying “wow! he’s a manic pixie dream boy!”

[lizardkingeliot]

First Line Meme

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line, then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

tagged by @phoenix-ascended thank you!!!! 💖

Okay SO. I’m gonna cheat a little bit here. The first nine I’m going to post are all going to be from the first nine chapters of time cast a spell on you (but you won’t forget me) but to be fair the chapters are so long they each might as well be a story all their own lmao. ANYWAY. Here we go. I’ll post the first paragraph from each I guess, in order of chapter number obvs:

1. Quentin shook out the tension in his hands. He didn’t understand why it wasn’t getting any easier. For days on end he’d been trying to perfect the illumination spell the rest of his fellow First Years had nailed in a matter of hours. But no matter how he tried, Quentin couldn’t seem to make anything more than a spark.

2. Quentin waited until Eliot was asleep to slip out of bed and hastily tug his clothes back on. The illuminated screen of his phone told him it was just past 12am. Clutching his shoes to his chest, he opened the door as quietly as he could manage and tip-toed out into the hall, all but running to his room and clicking the lock shut firmly behind him.

3. Dry-mouthed and groggy, Quentin woke in Eliot’s bed alone. He groaned, groping around for his phone to check the time for a long moment before remembering he’d left it in his room. Quentin rubbed at his eyes, rolling over and up to his feet, muscles he didn’t even know existed screaming as he went. He picked his bathrobe up from the floor and pulled it on, then tottered down the hall to empty his bladder and brush his teeth and gulp down frantic handfuls of water from the bathroom sink.

4. Tuesday morning was hell. Quentin woke just before eleven, empty as a husk. Filthy, all used up. His thighs sticking together where Eliot’s come had dried there in the night. Quickly realizing he’d already missed his first class of the day, Quentin pressed his face into his pillow, pulled the covers up over his head, and surrendered to the blank comfort of late morning sleep.

5. Quentin couldn’t feel his face, or much of his body for that matter. Which was… fine. It was great. It was fucking phenomenal. As long as it meant he also couldn’t feel the sinkhole that had formed in the center of his chest. The one that had been there for days, weeks, months, fucking years. He couldn’t feel anything at all.

6. Quentin felt a lever turn inside his chest, the source of his magic eking out a spark. Enough at least to send a message to Julia back at Brakebills. One of those little enchanted paper airplanes they’d learned his first week in Practical Applications that he never could get to fly quite right. He scrawled his SOS on a cocktail napkin and watched it flutter away like the world’s saddest butterfly. The universe took pity on him. Quentin figured he was probably due. 7. Christmas morning was a lackluster affair.

Exchanging gift cards over coffee and devouring great mounds of Ted Coldwater’s Famous Ham and Eggs while still in their pajamas. After, Julia and Quentin lay on the living room floor and Skyped with James, his grandparents waving hello from Pennsylvania in the background. They opened the stack of impersonal and overly-extravagant gifts from Julia’s mother that had been delivered to the house the night before. Quentin received a pair of cashmere socks and a leather belt with a shiny silver buckle.

8. Quentin stood at the bathroom sink, watching his face shift in the steamy mirror glass. Stark naked save for the towel looped around his hips. Hair dripping in cool, fat beads down onto the planks of his shoulders. So clean he swore he could feel himself sparkling from the inside out.

9. Quentin tossed his phone down onto the floor and leaned back into Eliot’s heat. “It’s almost like you want my dad to know I’m faking sick so I can stay in and let you fuck me until I pass out.”

Some patterns I guess: I love how chapters 2-4 all open with Quentin in bed after hooking up with eliot but all with very different vibes. In chapter 2, he’s just experienced subspace for the first time without having any idea that’s what actually happened to him and he is having A Time. In chapter 3, they had a very intense hook-up the night before and Quentin is sneaking out again, but this time he fully plans on returning right after. And in chapter 4, we see the joy of their beginnings at Columbia contrasted hard with the misery of where Quentin is at Brakebills.

ALSO 2/3 of the chapters begin with Quentin’s name which feels right considering just how deep into his headspace we are in this fic.

Okay. Anyway. Moving on:

10. Eliot loved watching Quentin lose himself in a moment.

It could be anything really: mastering a brand new spell; savoring something decadent and sweet; fussing with his hair when he thought no one was looking; focusing very hard on making himself a cocktail and getting the ratios just right; ranting about his Fillory books; reading his Fillory books, to himself but especially aloud; reading anything; riding dick...

That last one held a particularly special place in Eliot’s heart.

(from but i would die for you in secret aka the one where eliot is pretty sure quentin is only using him for his dick. spoiler alert: he’s not they’re just idiots)

11. Teddy was turning six years old. There was nothing in the world he loved more than stories.

His favorite was a version of Lord of the Rings Quentin had cobbled together from memory. He must have told it to their son a hundred times before it occurred to Eliot he could contribute more to story time than ogling Quentin’s hands while he spoke, or popping in to suggest when the Balrog should actually be making an appearance, Quentin.

(from in a land far away aka the mosaic fic where eliot makes margo hand puppets for teddy)

12. The words came out of Quentin’s mouth without a single coherent thought behind them.

“I’m just about to catch a movie with my boyfriend!”

There, outside the coffee shop on Eighth Avenue, Quentin��s maybe-friend from high school whose name he couldn’t even remember shot him a wide-mouthed grin. “Oh, that’s wonderful!” she said. “Which movie? My wife Danielle and I don’t have any plans for the afternoon and we’d love to tag along. Isn’t that right sweetie?”

(from your name like a song (i sing to myself) aka the one where quentin’s memory is shit and he and eliot pretend to be boyfriends in a post-monster world)

13. Eliot dropped the last box onto the floor. “Daddy’s wardrobe is safe at last,” he said, lowering himself down into the gold chair with a sigh. “Though I can’t seem to shake the terrible feeling that Todd raided my closet at the Cottage before I could get to it all.”

Quentin surveyed the damage from his spot on the sofa: there were at least seven large packing boxes bursting at their seams scattered around the penthouse. “I don’t know how you would even be able to tell. I’m pretty sure one of those boxes is just vests.”

Eliot quirked a brow in his direction. “Some of us are cultivating an aesthetic, Quentin,” he said. “And I didn’t see you complaining when I let you dress me for dinner last night.”

Quentin couldn’t help but smile. “I wouldn’t call picking between two pre-approved ties dressing you, El.”

“I’m also counting the fact that you said my ass looked great in my new pants.”

(from the parentheses (all clicking shut behind you) aka the suspender porn fic)

14. The night Quentin Coldwater died, a brand new star appeared in the sky over Brakebills. A little brighter than Venus, it stayed fixed in the same position for weeks on end. Eliot hardly would have noticed such a thing if it hadn’t been for the way that it hummed. Or at least, that’s how it felt. A humming in his bones. An old, familiar presence. Margo thought that he’d gone mad with grief. Alice was the only one who could understand.

(from a myth of devotion aka the one where eliot is sorta icarus and quentin is sorta the sun)

15. It didn’t happen the way Eliot expected it to. He dropped the letter into the mailbox, and pain blossomed in his abdomen so brightly it was like he’d gone supernova.

And everything went dark.

(from by night, beloved, tie your heart to mine aka the one where eliot sends the letter)

16. Eliot stretched out over the mosaic, his shirt riding up just a little as he clicked a yellow tile into place, and Quentin’s pulse leapt in his neck once, twice. Three times. His breath hitched. It was becoming nearly impossible to focus. In the heat of the sun, watching the sweat soak Eliot’s shirt clean-through.

(from i won’t deny (all the things i would do) aka the one where quentin and eliot start hooking up three months into their life at the mosaic)

17. After they decided kissing on the mouth was okay, Quentin and Eliot wanted to do it all the time. In every corner of the penthouse (“If you don’t stop sucking face while I’m trying to eat my sandwich,” Kady said one afternoon, “I’m literally going to feed you to the Baba Yaga.”), outside coffee shops, in between bites at the sushi place in Chelsea that Eliot loved. Once, they went to see a movie they couldn’t even remember the name of just to make out for two blissful, uninterrupted hours in the dark.

(from and a song of praise upon your lips aka part three of the box of chocolates series where quentin and eliot are definitely dating and finally talk about their feelings)

18. Eliot startled awake to something sharp and pointed slamming into his shin. He opened his eyes, and the toe of Margo’s shoe made contact one last time. Pain seared up the side of his leg, and he winced. Jesus, she really did not realize her own strength sometimes. Or the strength of her Jimmy Choo’s.

(from that you may know (the secrets of your heart) aka part two of box of chocolates aka the one where hand stuff is still banging)

19. Eliot Waugh was High King in his blood, and somehow that felt right. When they first arrived in Fillory, Quentin assumed he would be the one to wear the crown. He’d dreamed of it most of his life after all. On the throne in Whitespire, a fleet of talking animals at his disposal, a noble quest waiting around every corner to ferry him away to the next grand, heart-stopping adventure. But when the blade bit into his palm and drew no blood, and Eliot’s came up red, it felt like the final piece of some perfect puzzle clicking into place.

(from and this is the map of my heart aka the one where quentin wants to marry eliot and they have some incredibly filthy sex before everything falls apart)

20. Eliot walked into the penthouse to an eerie quiet. He found Quentin sitting in the kitchen under a dim illumination spell, drinking a beer and poking at the screen of his phone.

“Hey,” Eliot said, setting his shopping bag down on the counter. “Where is everyone?”

Quentin sighed, rubbing at his eyes. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days. “Out. I don’t know.”

Eliot squinted at him. “You didn’t want to go with them?”

Quentin lifted his eyes, shot Eliot a look. “No.”

(from for love (if it finds you worthy) aka part one of the box of chocolates series)

And I have now been here doing this for so long I no longer have time to try and find anymore patterns lmao BUT I will be tagging: @thelucindac @akisazame @fishfingersandscarves @nellie-elizabeth @freneticfloetry @rubickk7 and anyone else who wants to play!

[softboyscully]

Public School Stuff I Wanted to Share

public school is both beautiful and horrifying am i right

so ill just go by the grades i guess

Kindergarten, first year

i did kindergartden at a catholic school in a relativly big city so this one’s got some shit

we went to church every wednesday, me and best friend (lost track of her when we moved, wish we’d stayed in touch, she was awesome) would giggle the whole time, pretty sure we made fun of jesus once, can’t remember why, possibly the hair

i had the nicest teacher, she was (as i remember her) young, blonde, and super sweet, that was the first and last year i ever had naptime

SPEAKING of naptime

i never slept during it

once i found what i remember being a nut of some sort on the ground, probably came off someone’s shoe

i grab it, turn to sarah (my best friend), say something about putting it up my nose

sarah, apparently having common sense, says, “no dont do it!! we’re supposed to be sleeping!!”

i put it up my fucking nose

try to get it out, just push it farther in

im crying a little bit now, that shit hurts

go up to my teacher

“you’re supposed to be asleep!”

“i have a nut up my nose and it wont come out”

teacher tries to get it out, but it wont budge

just. sends me back to my mat

that was it

the art room was tiny

like re-purposed broom closet tiny

there was a copy of the mona lisa in the hallway, someone had drawn ray bans on it with a pencil, never got replaced

there was a creepy-ass basement i went down to after school, we ate cheeseballs and sandwiches with some kind of meat, mayo, and that kinda yellow bread

someone broke his leg down there once, think an older kid threw him at the ceiling or something

we learned how to play Silver Bells with actual bells in music class

Kindergarten, second year

i remember these two teachers as the evil step sister-type look, but it might be my little kid imagination

but seriously they were horrible

we learned stuff in a room that was more middle-school styled, except everything was green or black and it was v dark

me and sarah attained a new friend, john

honestly i think we would’ve stayed friends for a while if i didnt move away

i have two vivid memories

one is of me really wanting to go home, so i walked by the teacher’s desk and did a fake sneeze

they laughed at me and told me to go sit back down

the other is  john leaning his chair back and then falling, so me and sarah went to help him back up

it was funny, so he did it again

and again

me and sarah were laughing, had the time of our lives

after the maybe fifth time the teachers said “john can get back up by himself. sit down and stay there.”

one of the reasons we moved was bc i got sent a letter from my fourth grade buddie

most of the words weren’t spelled correctly, many letters were backwards

my mother was horrified

ofc now we know it was probably a learning disability 

1st grade

this is when i moved

beginning of school i was ASTOUNDED we didnt have uniforms, one of the best things ever to happen to me

nothing wrong with this teacher, she was cool

thing is i was a little shit

told everyone my dogs died (they did but i was maybe three when it happened, i remember it not)

all my personal narratives were bullshit (only one sticks in my memory, wrote it about celebrating christmas AND hanukkah with my dad’s friends who were jewish, i have never even met those friends)

had a crush on this kid, best friend (she was terrible and helped wreck me emotionally) told me to kiss him in music class. me being a stupid ass bitch, i did it, aND HE GOES TO THE TEACHER AND CALLS ME OUT. at the end of class she gets both of us to stay for a bit, AND I DENYIED EVERYTHING. i walked across the fucking classroom, kissed him on the cheek, ran away giggling, told my teacher i didn’t do anything, AND GOT AWAY WITH IT. i’ve embarrassed myself further with this child but thats another story

2nd grade

i loved this teacher but honestly he was absolute shit

like. all he did was play the guitar and sing with us

never actually taught us stuff???

middle of the year, my mom goes in for a parent-teacher conference, he tells her i dont pay attention is math.

“what do you mean?”

“she doesn’t listen, she just takes out a book and starts reading.”

“........have you.... tried taking the book away?”

“sure, i could try that.”

“o....kay”

he also told her i’d be a girl who’d grow up to love spellcheck (which i do lmao)

like ???? why not just??? teach me to spell????

there was this one dude who one day showed up, gave me a pink stuffed cat, and then asked me where i lived

funniest thing was he lived on the same street as me

something that is vivid in my memory is showing up to class one day and realizing that i was wearing my regular clothes over my pajamas

also we had fish

every day someone else was in charge of feeding them

one of the times it was my job, i grab the fish food and walk over to the tank only to find all of the fish floating on the top

i screamed “THE FISH CAN FLY?!?!?!?!?!”

everyone ran over, all of us scarred for life when Mr. G walks over and goes in the most normal voice ever “no theyre dead”

we held a funeral

the cause of death is still undetermined

3rd grade

this year just draws a blank for me

all i know is that whoever the teacher was, they neglected to teach me how to tell time from a clock

also we learned the Cotten Eyed Joe dance in gym around here

4th grade

i had two teachers this year

one was the same one from 1st grade, the other one was a total bitch

made a girl named hannah ball her eyes out once, never apologized

i was (and am) and avid reader, so my reading skills were high above average

instead of being proud of me she told me i was weird, not normal, and too smart for a 4th grader, so i MUST be cheating. 

she was the start of a lot of self confidence issues for me ngl

this was around the time i went and got tested for ADHD (me and my grandmother almost broke down on the highway but thats another story), Mrs. M (the nice one) was super supportive when i told her why i was leaving early but Ms. S (bitch) told me ADHD wasn’t real and i just wanted to be special for once

she sucked, Ms. S

5th grade

this is getting super long so this’ll be the last one i do

but my teacher..... Mr. F was A+++++

he legitimately taught me math

we had i guess like,,, a buddie class we switched with sometimes

the teacher of that class was Mrs. R, who had crazy red hair and many freckles

at one point she referenced a meme and my entire class started screaming

also there was another Mrs. S (to differentiate this one will be called Mrs. Su)

she was kind of crazy

she was the astronomy teacher and she told us many times that the moon landing was faked

once she handed out sunscreen and had everyone put it on their whole body (this was in december, fyi)

Mr. F also hosted an ‘archeological dig’ which sounds cool but in reality he had a bunch of arcade prizes from his childhood buried in little flower pots we dug into with plastic spoons

also heres some stuff i cants pinpoint the time of/happened in multiple grades:

someone held a who-can-scream-the-most-like-a-goat contest

a guy named Makenzie won

remember we planned it while the teacher left the classroom so the teacher walks back in and one by one everyone in the room starts screaming, there was some applause, a few kids got a standing ovation

we cleaned out our desks in the middle of the year, i found 3 socks and a dog treat in mine

like how the fuck did any of those things get there

and where’s the fourth sock

b o t t l e f l i p p i n g

but no seriously there were at least five water bottles stuck in the ceiling in the cafeteria

my sorta friend charlie was obsessed with paper airplanes

one time he might’ve broken the world record for longest time in the air but he was counting in his head and it was at recess so there was no video

four square and gaga ball would be played no matter the setting, time, or conditions and it was super competitive

like if you could get to king in four square you got the everlasting respect of everyone

and everyone was super educated on four square special rules, special plays, that kinda shit

no but guys i grew up with bus stop, candy store, haunted house on mondays, haunted mansion on fridays, zombies was fair game unless it was Zach, Ryan, Chrissy or Vee

me and one other guy named andrew were the only known pjo fans, had the time of our LIVES making refrences

“HEY ANDREW IM NOBODY”

“I HAVE WAITED YEARS FOR YOU, NOBODY, COME HERE AND FACE YOUR DEATH”

“hey annabeth, i thought you looked like a princess when i first saw you. i printed out a picture you sent me casually and kept it with me. i snuck along on a quest so i could save you, endangering myself immensely. i held the sky for you. when you talk about your crush on luke, i get jealous. beckendorf understood, but hes dead.”

“ikr we’re literally the best of friends”

“RIGHT”  

also the first time we finished mark of athena we were in the same classroom and we individually dropped the book, stood up, looked at each other, and screamed “WELL FUCK YOU TOO RICK RIORDAN”

[definedinsanity]

💋 from @victorscried bc. hello

the whore meme: #4

He's done it again.

The closest thing that could come to mind is the term temper tantrum. But it doesn't quite cover the severity of the action, the vitriol of all the yelling and swearing. It happens once every night or so, sometimes even during the day. Jason Brody will just lose it. For what, one could only guess. There is a laundry list of reasons. Not that anyone needs a particularly good reason to go mad. It happens every day here on Rook, the rate of which should be considered a great exodus.

But it's not, it's considered a nothingness, a blank slate of swiped debris that resets the next day and then the day after that. Nothing ever really changes here, not really.

Jason has been horrifically still for about as long as Vaas has been watching him. An hour or so, but Jason's been here longer by the looks of the sand surrounding his body. Maybe the night before, longer than that? He's got no machete because he chucked it in his little rage fit, the ocean already swiping past his little ' H E L P' sign in the sand. He's watched too many fucking movies, the tide always comes up sooner or later.

And so Vaas approaches Jason the same way he always has, acting like it was all just happenstance. Not that he was watching, not that he was waiting. He knows he's not paralyzed but Jason lies there still as can be. Vaas guesses it must be something Citra has given him because it used to do the same thing to him. That's what she does, afterall. She slowly poisons you. So he decides to liven up the scene, covers Jason's body with sand and shapes it out to look like he's a beached mermaid with a shell bra. Still he remains stationary, eyes looking outward at a sky that is as blue as it is vast.

For curiosity's sake, Vaas lies next to him, follows his train of sight until his eyes come across an airplane that is thousands and millions and miles away from them. To them, it looks like an ant carrying along a long trail of spider silk, a line that goes thicker the longer the insect trails on. Ironically speaking, there might be some air traffic workers up there. Some law enforcement. Or maybe some lucky fuck in the states is getting his Ebay order ahead of schedule. Vaas smiles, rolls on his stomach and looks at Jason who hardly seems to notice he's there. Maybe he has overdosed, maybe he has just given up.

"---don't worry, hermano. I hear air-line food sucks ass." He grins, leans close and gives him a condescending kiss to the temple. He waits longer, waits for a reaction but retreats when he finds none. There are bigger fish to fry today.

[sawyer-saucee]

the sanders sides as things my friends and I have said (but it’s mostly remus)

Remus: “Imagine getting impregnated in Azkaban.”

Patton: “My superpower is emotions and my training is therapy.”

Roman: “Mr. Logan, do you want to fight?”

Patton: “If you say the f word on an airplane you fall off the airplane and land on the ground.”

Virgil: “I need lizard love in my life.”

Logan: “The ability to speak does not make you intelligent.”

Deceit: “The three genders: boy, girl, and filthy abomination.”

Remus: “I wanna fuck a dementor.”

Roman, to Virgil: “You are a fountain of pure satanic energy.”

Virgil: “I don’t deserve to be called human.”

Patton: “Why did humans take over the Earth?”

Logan: “Because we evolved first. Suck it, monkeys.”

Deceit, probably distraught: “Where are your bones?”

Remus: “I can think of a lot of ways to stick a needle through a penis.”

Roman: “We died because of mosquitos.”

Virgil: “Did you like... get malaria?”

Roman: “No, they were just really big mosquitos.”

Patton: “What’s up?”

Roman: “Nothing, just rewriting Darth Vader’s monologue to be non gender-specific.”

Deceit: “I’m too tired to give a shit about self-aware vegetables.”

Virgil: “I’m stressed, depressed, and systematically oppressed.”

Remus: “God isn’t here, that’s why people are fucking statues.”

Patton: “They’re like ‘let’s just let our brother have this one thing.”

Logan: “...and that thing is a dead 40-year-old.”

Virgil: “Anxiety hack: don’t be a little bitch.”

Remus: “I have a filing cabinet UP MY ASS.”

Logan: “I’m gonna FUCK Plato.”

Patton: “It’s not cleansing, it gives you cancer!”

Roman: “Where art thou, Brittany?!”

Virgil: “I will deep fry your toes.”

Logan: “You contribute your words of wisdom and spicy memes.”

Remus: “I am sexually attracted to clowns.”

Logan: “As a wise person once said: that’s a mood.”

Remus: “Vines? That’s like vegetarian tentacle porn.”

Virgil: “Hel🅱️.”

Deceit: “-and Remus’s several 13 inch dicks-”

Virgil: “Yeet the caffeine.”

Patton: “Pants are a tool of the patriarchy.”

Roman: “I see God when I’m tired.”

Logan, to Remus: “You’re really changing it drastically from what it was to fill your maple syrup dreams.”

Virgil: “I am Jesus. To find salvation, you have to suck my metaphysical dick.”

Patton: “I broke my guitar by T-posing.”

Remus: “Seven out of eight children are clinically dead.”

Virgil: “Like, if I saw a Nazi I’d punch him, but I’m way too tired right now.”

Logan: “I don’t think Michael Jackson was a Nazi.”

Roman: “I’m not going to shake your dick.”

Deceit: “Snake rinds.”

Thomas: “Please stop dirty talking gender.”

Roman: “Is this your head?”

Remus: “No, it’s my ass.”

Virgil: “I’m not yeeting my phone at a school shooter.”

Deceit: “Die twink.”

Roman: “Okay boomer.”

Remus: “Now you know what gets me going.”

Logan: “Unibrows and teeth?”

Virgil: “Everyone in that Cosco thought you were an alcoholic.”

Patton: “Hi, my name is Patton, and I was born in the bargain bin at Target.”

Remus: “Someone’s like ‘what’s your secret kink?’ and I’m like ‘biting’ and then I bite their entire arm off.”

Logan, sighing tiredly: “Penis is not a slur.”

[genderenvywinchester]

Supernatural 1x04 Liveblog

- oh god is this the plane episode

- i hate planes. i hate planes so muc h this is gonna suck

- i’m never gonna go on a plane ever again. sorry to every mutual i said i’d meet up with at some point

- sir no get away from that door get awa-

- NO

- GOD NO

- OH THIS IS MY WORST NIGHTMARE

- NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO THIS IS. SCARIER THAN ANY MONSTER

- the way dean’s sleeping. homosexual

- “i was a little stressed, i survived a plane crash”

- interrogation time!

- a dentist with acid reflux huh

- sounds like me in an alternate universe

- FINALLY they get actually invested in costumes

- i was sick and tired of these bitches showing up to a crime scene w FBI badges and a flannel

- dean and his homeade emf reader <333 sam shut UP about it he’s valid he’s smart he’s sexy

- aka dean and i are the same brand of himbo (what is it again? high intelligence low wisdom?)

- is there gonna be an “almost got caught” scene in every ep

- NOT THE BITCH WHO’S SUPPOSED TO FLY THE PLANE

- okay what’s up with the 40 minutes

- shane madej voice demon?

- nazareth.... biblical numerology... i’ve connected the dots (you didn’t connect shit)

- TRYING TO FINISH THE JOB?

- dean please plan out your ideas better

- shit. he’s gonna have to get on the plane

- shaking hands meme me and dean scared of planes

- i too act like this on an airplane

- even looking at people on a plane gives me anxiety why am i watching this

- holy water- you mean lube? that’s right. i know things about supernatural

-ohhhhhhhh no i hate this i hate this i hate this

- that’s one way of calming anxiety

- “i’m gonna get possessed if i don’t calm down”

- this poor woman. emotionally manipulated by the winchesters

- sam now’s not the time to get caught up thinking about jess again

- NOOOOOOOOOO NO NO NO PLANE FALLING THIS IS BAD

- pretty fuckin baller of Sam to say some latin shit while in a plane crash

- thanks sam! you did it :) i’m not gonna ride in a plane for years though. this is scary

- john shut up and stop putting everything on your son

- “He can help” what the fuck. let him live his own damn life without having to clean up your shit constantly

- this is the i hate john winchester club

[honeymoonjin]

shark week - jungkook x reader

A/N: requested by the lovely @itishebihime-samaforyou. You just got your period, and with that comes cramps. You just want to grin and bear it, but Jungkook is determined to show off to his members how good of a boyfriend he is. 1.4k.

Jungkook likes to think of himself as peak boyfriend material, and for the most part he does a good job, but you figure dealing with his girlfriend on her period might be a bit much. That’s why you’re currently holed up in a restaurant bathroom, curled in on yourself on the toilet seat and praying for your cramps to go away.

You ran out of painkillers last month and had totally forgot to refill your prescription, and it seemed this time around that nightmarish twisting in your uterus has returned with a vengeance.

A text comes through on your phone. Babe, you alright???

You manage to wince out a smile. Jungkook isn’t clingy but he is certainly the type to worry himself over nothing, and the eight or so minutes you’ve been gone is apparently enough to tip that scale.

Fine, koo, will be out in a min.

He reads your message and chooses to reply with a meme of Yoongi clutching his heart, with a million heart emojis around it. This time you do let out a little giggle; Jungkook’s habit of always responding to your messages with memes of his hyungs he had gotten from ARMY off Twitter always brought a smile to your face. You were pretty sure he did the same on their own group chat much to their chagrin.

You massage your stomach gingerly and get yourself ready before heading back out. Jungkook got up the moment he saw you to let you back into the inside of the booth and immediately wrapped an arm around you, quietly murmuring to check in again.

You force a smile and nod, taking a sip of water, but he doesn’t seem convinced.

“Babe, what’s up? Just tell me. Was something wrong with the food? You look a little pale.”

The other members ignore the two of you for the most part; caught up in several simultaneous streams of conversation, but you don’t want to risk them overhearing, so you lean in and whisper in his ear that it’s your time of the month.

His eyes fly wide open and mouth goes a little slack, but he recovers quickly. “Oh. Do you- do you need a tampon or something?”

“Jungkook,” you hiss in a stage whisper, but Taehyung on Jungkook’s other side and Jin across from the two of you overhear and look at you both weirdly. You whack him on the arm. “No! Just forget about it; I’m fine.” You have to whack him again when his mouth opens, as you know he’s about to rattle off his own song lyrics like he always does when you accidentally say a title in conversation.

He sighs, put out, but starts rubbing his palm over your shoulder soothingly. “What do you need, then, baby? You clearly aren’t feeling well, and I don’t like to see you in pain.”

Your eyes soften. Before you can reply, a waiter approaches the table and asks if you’d like to order desserts. “Oh, I think we’re-”

“Yes, please!” Jungkook interrupts boisterously. “Do you have anything with chocolate in?”

The waiter shifts on his feet and nods. “Uh, yes, sir, we have the rich chocolate cake and a white chocolate and raspberry cheesecake. If it’s easier, I can just bring the menus.”

“We’ll take a chocolate cake, please. Hyungs, you want anything?”

Namjoon orders an apple crumble and Jimin a massive ice cream sundae (the server lets him know it’s meant for two but Jimin doesn’t waver) and the rest just order more drinks. Before natural conversation resumes, Jungkook announces to you a bit too loudly, “I read somewhere that chocolate is good for girls on their periods. It sucks up the blood or something.”

You go bright red and bury your face in Jungkook’s sweater. Yoongi’s dry voice comes to you slightly muffled. “Jungkook, you idiot, that’s definitely not correct. The magnesium just helps with cramps.”

“Oh, yeah?” your boyfriend challenges. “And how do you know that?”

“I know how to take care of my girl,” Yoongi answers simply. “I also make sure not to humiliate her at the dinner table.”

Upon that cue, you straighten up and fix your hair, noticing Yoongi wiggle his eyebrow at you jokingly. He was always the one to give you two the most shit, but you knew he would always have your back.

Across the table, Hoseok puts in his two cents. “It’s nothing to be embarrassed about, it’s only natural. Besides, Jungkook, some girls get super horny on their periods but then they can’t fuck because of the mess. I think that would get me worse than the cramps. Imagine going a week without sex?”

Jungkook just shrugs. “It’s only a problem if you’re scared of a little mess. Like you said, hyung, it’s only natural.”

And back comes the violent blush on your face. Luckily for you, the waiter breaks the awkward silence that falls over the table by bringing in the three desserts. Jimin immediately digs in, reluctantly sharing with Taehyung, and Namjoon karate chops Jin every time his hand wanders a little too close.

Jungkook refuses to give you the fork, and instead makes you let him feed you. He flashes his teeth in a shit-eating grin when you glare at him, lump of cake hovering in front of your mouth.  “Come on, baby,” he teases, “I also read that endorphins help, so I figure some romantic times with your boyfriend might cheer you up.”

You roll your eyes, but not without a small smile as you open your mouth and let him feed you. The cake is perfectly moist, almost gooey, and sinfully rich. You feel your mood pick up immediately, and barely have enough time to swallow before he’s scooped up another mouthful.

This time, instead of shoving it in, he does the airplane motion like you’re a baby, giggling cheekily as you chase it with an open mouth. When it finally goes in, you slide it off the fork and snatch the cutlery out of his hand with a glare.

“But baby, I want some too,” he complains with a lilting voice, making grabby hands towards the fork.

“Too bad,” you respond, stabbing the cake and ripping off a bit, “you’re going to have to eat it off the fork like I did, you big baby.”

He huffs, but obediently opens his mouth and receives the cake, crumbs smeared on the corners of his lips. You grin at the look of bliss on his face as he savors it, and you reach forward and wipe away the chocolate stains with your thumb.

A sudden chorus of groans break out, and you turn around only to be faced with all of the other members watching you two.

“Ya, get a room,” Jin whines, “you’ve made me lose my appetite now.”

Namjoon frowns at him in confusion. “I wasn’t going to give you any anyway.”

Jin looks at him with full cheeks and a mirthful grin. “Oh, twist my arm,” he mock-sighs, and snatches the bowl out of Namjoon’s hands before the younger man can comprehend.

“Hey!” Jin ignores Namjoon and chows down on the last of the dessert happily.

“Hyungs, hyungs, who are we?” Jimin cheers, turning to Taehyung and holding out a spoonful of half-melted ice-cream.

Taehyung leans forward and takes the spoon in his mouth, moaning wantonly and opening his mouth so that a tiny dribble of ice-cream falls out.

“Oh, you!” Jimin coos and wipes it away with his thumb in the same way you had to Jungkook earlier.

The whole table falls apart in raucous laughter, apart from you and Jungkook, who shake your heads disdainfully and try not to crack a smile.

“So, you wanna make fun of us?” Jungkook challenges. “Make fun of this.”

Before you get a chance to take a breath, your boyfriend leans in and begins making out with you, skipping straight to shoving his tongue in your mouth like you’re both fifteen. You pull away and elbow him, scandalized.

Jimin and Taehyung share a look, and Jimin lets the spoon clatter onto the tabletop. “No, thanks, you weirdo. Get a room.”

“Good idea,” Jungkook responds cheerily. “Let’s go, babe. We can have a pajama night and watch Shrek.”

You let him tug you out of the booth and lead you away. You twist your body around to give the members a shrug and a confused wave goodbye, which half of them return. “Wait, Koo, we haven’t paid our share yet-”

“I said let’s go.”

[aelaer]

For the fanfic asks: 2. What’s next on your ‘to-read’ list? (Fan fiction or otherwise) 5. What’s a crackship you love? 6. What’s the last thing you read that made you laugh? 7. What’s the last thing you read that made you cry? 11. Kid fic or childhood friends? 18. Do you have a fic reading/writing routine?

Hi neutron! I've been wondering where you were! Good to see you again. I hope you're doing okay in these insane times. I'm interested in hearing about it if you're interested in sharing. Also you now have a number by your name, that’s new!

This is a really rambly answer that meanders past the questions multiple times. I apologize for my verbosity, as well as some of the dry, uh, glass-half-empty tone that may leak through the answers. It's been a real rough 48 hours. Rambling while channeling Eeyore sometimes helps get it out, hah. Cut if you’re not reading this on tumblr’s dumb half-working mobile app.

2. What’s next on your ‘to-read’ list? (Fan fiction or otherwise)

For fanfic, I don't have anything on my immediate to-read list. I do have several longer bookmarked stories from both Sherlock and the MCU, but a couple of them deal with really heavy topics (like grieving over death or the aftermath of assault) and I'll wait until the world is more calm before getting to those. Others I know are in the works but I'm waiting for them to be nearer to completion before diving in. And then others are romance-focused and I honestly need to be in the mood to read romance-focused, novel-length stories. I can get through a romance one or two shot in a breeze, but I get really bored in most romance novel-length stories and honestly don't understand why the majority of women love them so much. Unfortunately platonic, family or found family novel stories are virtually nonexistent in the MCU with my guy so, y'know. I'll likely get to the romances when I'm in the mood. (Usually it happens on airplanes. I don't know why either.)

My "to review" list is actually longer, to get to the 1% of stories that actually fall into my favorite genre: platonic shit. Platonic shit doesn't usually get many reviews anyway so that's my immediate goal as opposed to reading since I've read virtually every gen story that contains Doctor Strange as a character already :D

Outside of fanfic? That's a really good question. I have no idea. I should check out the free ebook sites that are opening up. Anyone have any recs? Humor is awesome, don't want anything sad or with unhappy endings atm. Fictional or nonfiction all work.

5. What’s a crackship you love?

Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Does Stephen/Cloak count? I think that could count. It's definitely a bit odd. The really really weird ones are when the Cloak gets a humanoid form for The Exact Reason You're Thinking.

Stephen/tentacle monster is also one I've seen which is just fucking hilarious.

Oh, and anything with Groot. As an adult of course, whatever counts as adulthood for grootpeople. I haven't read anything mind you, but that seems like hilarity waiting to happen.

6. What’s the last thing you read that made you laugh?

Nothing that I can remember in fanfic :/ I could use a good laugh, but at the moment I've only been getting them via memes and Twitter. I can't remember the last funny scene in a fanfic that I've read. Nothing this year, I think. Likely last summer or fall with some of the couple lovely one shots that came around then.

My answers have really sucked so far. Gah.

7. What’s the last thing you read that made you cry?

The news. *rimshot*

Okay this one I can answer. Signature Move back in September. I remembered because I can count on one hand the number of fanfics that have made me cry over the last 16.5 years.

I think the last book to make me cry was The Lovely Bones well over a decade ago.

11. Kid fic or childhood friends?

Kid fic, except for de-aging fics. Fics exploring the characters as children or around children are fantastic. I'd honestly love to see more of this with Stephen (expect with a de-aged Peter, and with actual children, not teenagers who are almost adults.)

18. Do you have a fic reading/writing routine?

Fic reading routine: Let's see if there's anything new that I'm interested in. *three minutes later* Nope! (basically the people I follow here on Teh Tumblrlrlrlr tend to link their stuff here, so I get it here first, read it, tell em "yay!", then go about my merry way. I am usually very surprised if I find something that grabs me in browsing ao3, to the point that I only browse if I'm uploading something or replying to reviews. The fanfic I'm looking for comes out in limited amounts and I can only write so much of it *shrug*.)

When I do find something that looks interesting, I read it immediately if possible. If not possible, I keep the tab open on my phone until I get to it. That is usually in bed at night. I try to review immediately because if I don't it takes me like three friggin weeks to get back to review it; damn, I owe a few reviews that I really need to do before the end if the week.

If the something I found interesting is really really really long and compelling, I used to binge read into the wee hours of the morning. I control myself a bit better now, as I must do as a Supposedly Responsible Adult. Even doing this I think I still managed to read around 1000 Sherlock fanfics throughout 2017 and 2018. Oh how I binged.

For writing: It depends largely on the time of day, actually. If it's before 10PM, I usually take my laptop out. One of the Discord communities I'm in has a writing sprint channel, and if there's anyone doing a sprint, I'll join them. This has helped me get the hardest parts of chapters onto paper several times, those nasty filler parts that are just being really stubborn. If there's no sprint going on, I'll sometimes start one myself (though only if someone will join me).

I don't always use a sprint when on my laptop though. On my laptop in the first two to five tabs are the stories I'm currently working on (and five tabs after those is the story I promised to fucking beta read five hundred years ago but I'm clearly the worst person to ask for a beta as you can tell by the lack of it being finished, jfc me). Anyway, I'll review those, maybe jump around and scroll a bit to review my notes or what I've written, and once I get a bit more spark of inspiration while reviewing, I'll start writing. If no spark comes or I'm forcing myself to write a specific scene that's acting up, that's when I use the sprint method described above.

After 10pm, I write on my phone. Thank goodness the Google doc app exists. It's much slower, but it's still writing and that's really what counts. My creativity is very much a night owl and I've written a couple hundred words (or more) late at night many times. Sometimes it's just outlining, sometimes it's just pieces of dialogue. The smart phone has definitely made writing before bed even more convenient.

Thank you.

[purplesurveys]

833

Given the chance, would you ever go into space? I’ve answered this exact question on a recent survey...but yeah absolutely, as long as it was a free opportunity. Outer space has always interested me so it would be awesome to actually get there. What is your all-time favorite thing to snack on? A local brand of chips called Nova, corndogs, powdered fries, and pizza. I couldn’t choose just one :( Have you ever been jealous of anyone's socks? Not in a toxic way but I have seen socks that made me go “damn, I wish I had that” and it’s usually socks based off of famous paintings like Starry Night, The Scream, etc. Do you match your clothing, or are you careless about fashion? The most I’ll match is colors; I’ll make sure the colors I wear complement each other. But I’m not likely to buy outfits that come in parts, like a matching top and skirt that have their own price tags. It’s an annoying scam that makes you have to pay more money for one outfit lol. Know anyone that has amazing fashion taste? There’s a professor in the communication research department of our college that dresses SOOOO well. She’s never recycled an item of clothing either. She dresses literally exactly like Audrey Hepburn, except with more printed clothes.

Do you know or wish you could knit? I don’t know how to knit and have no desire to learn.

Like earmuffs? They’re alright, I guess? I never have to wear them, so I don’t have much of an opinion. Have you ever had the roof of your mouth sore? Yeah, that one time I ate takoyaki while it was still burning hot and I burned off the skin on the roof my mouth. Do you like orange juice? I’ll drink it if it’s served or if it’s free, but I never crave for it. How many times a day do you brush your teeth, honestly? Once or twice. Do you think anyone really looks good in a jumpsuit? Yeah. Well it’s since become a trend so that’s really all there is to know about people’s preferences nowadays. I have several jumpsuits that I feel really good in. Have a collection of anything? Not anymore. Ever ran out of something that made you very upset? Sometimes my family will bring home leftovers from a really good restaurant. When we finish them all up it bums me out. Biggest lie you ever told? Saying ‘yes’ with a big ol’ smile on my face to my high school guidance counselors whenever they ask if my situation at home is good. Is there a song that makes you want to rock out? For sure. I have my fair share of favorite punk/rock bands. Do you have a religion? No. Believe that there is a point to churches? Not a single one. How do eat Oreos? I just bite into them. Never really got into the whole twist-lick-dunk thing because 1) I don’t want to bite into something I had already licked (even if it’s my own saliva lol), and 2) I can’t consume a lot of milk, anyway. -This or That- Sunsets or sunrises? Sunsets. I’ve seen more sunsets than sunrises with Gabie, so I have good memories of them. I don’t like the idea of getting up early just for a sunrise either. Pennies or dimes? Can’t relate because we don’t use these concepts. Coffee or tea? Coffeeeeeeee. Never been a tea person, actually. Windows or Mac? Mac. I did use Windows for a while, but when it comes down to it I would rather get a Mac. Headphones or speakers? Headphones. You get more of the sound when you listen to music, so the listening experience is a lot better. Loud or soft & quiet? Depends on the context...I like my concerts loud, but I obviously prefer soft and quiet when I’m doing something like going to bed. Odd or even numbers? I don’t really have a preference lol. The cookie dough or the actual cookies? Cookie dough, heh. Speaking of, I recently found a recipe for edible cookie dough but I keep putting it off... Mp3 players or iPod? iPod, mostly because MP3s went out of style like, a decade ago. Calm or rock music? Again, depends on my mood. I’d listen to rock music if I’m pissed off or going through a similar emotion, and I’d prefer hearing calm music when I wanna focus on something, like if I’m doing surveys. Love or lust? Love. I don’t feel lust for the most part. Converse or Vans? Converse. They’re AJ’s favorite and I find them more comfy. The few times I borrowed my sister’s Vans I always got blisters at the end of the day. Lipsyncing or actual singing? I would prefer to lipsync than to let people hear my actual singing voice; but if I’m watching a performance obviously I’d want the performers to be using their real voice. Walking or running? Walking. I find strolls to be relaxing. Dancing or watching others dance? Watching others. Dancers are crazy talented. With friends or by yourself? When it comes down to it, I wanna be with friends. Local concert or a popular band? Popular band. It’s rarer, so I find it more precious. I still support local though! Blond or brown hair? Brown. Idk, I just don’t know a lot of people who are blonde. Red or black? I like both, but I like black slightly more. Blue or green eyes? Green. Having fun or being asleep? Having fuuuun. Carnival or park? Park. I can’t go on rides anyway, so a nice stroll and picnic at the park sounds lovely to me. -Favorites- Favorite thing to buy? Uh food, I guess? I’m super easy to please lol. What do your favorite pair of socks look like? My bacon and eggs one. Kind of tea/coffee? Iced tea/iced caramel macchiato. Way of communication? Face-to-face with Gab, instant messenger/text for everyone else. Time to sleep in to? Midnight is most convenient for me. Band to dance to? PARAMORE. Also helps that their music has turned dance-y too. Favorite gum? Don’t really have one. I’ll chew on any kind/flavor of gum. Type of cereal? Cookie Crisps. Color of hoodie? I don’t mind color, as long as the hoodie is comfortable and keeps me warm. Spice? Cumin smells lovely. Favorite thing to touch/feel? Dogs. Website? Probably Twitter. I’ve been on it the longest and still have no reason to be tired of it. Person in your life? My girlfriend...but also my dogs, if they can count. -Would you Rather- Hire one of your friends, or fire an enemy? Hire one of my friends, as long as they work well without me. Firing an enemy seems a little bit more unprofessional, especially if they objectively perform well. Be a contestant on American Idol or America's Got Talent? I’d go with AGT I guess? I’ve watched some snippets of the show and their judges seem more nice, whereas on American Idol the judges tend to laugh or embarrass you if you do badly. Live in Britain or Australia? Australia. I feel like it’s a more Filipino-friendly country, not that Britain isn’t but yeah. Travel by plane or helicopter? Plane. Aren’t helicopters loud? I think I’d be more relaxed in an airplane. Trade places with a male or a female for a day? I’d rather remain a woman, thanks. Shop at Wal-Mart or Target? I don’t know. I’m honestly curious though – for the Americans survey-takers, what’s the difference between them and what do y’all prefer? Hahaha Read Shakespeare or Artistotle's work? I internally winced at both lol but when it comes down to it, Shakespeare. I do like his work, as long as I’m reading a modern English version. I hate philosophy straight up, so that’s a definite no on Aristotle. Have a regular donut or donut holes? Regular donut. Spell better or smell better? Smell. I can already spell well. Rather be in a tornado or a large earthquake? This is horrible, no one ever *wants* to be stuck in a natural calamity. 80's or 90's music? I like the 80s sound better. Eat a plain peanut butter sandwich or PB & J? Peanut butter sandwich. I tried PB&J before to see what the hype was about, and it just didn’t work for my Asian tastebuds. Wear a uniform every day or go half-naked? Wear a uniform. I wore one in Catholic school for 14 years and survived, so it’d just be the same thing. Would you rather Santa or the Easter Bunny actually exist? Santa. I’m more familiar with him. The Easter Bunny’s not really a part of our culture so I don’t actually know what it’s supposed to do. Apple pie or Pizza pie? Pizzaaaaa. Y’all should know me by now haha. Spend an afternoon cleaning or clean things later? I’d rather work early so I can be satisfied earlier. Flying or X-Ray vision? Flying. Dentist or Doctor? I guess dentist? There’s fewer reasons to be scared when you go to the dentist because the health problems are just limited to your mouth, I guess. Would you rather spread gossip or start a fight? Both sound awful. I’m never one to start a fight and I never initiate gossip myself, though I do take part in it sometimes. Get rid of your favorite shoes or your favorite pants? Pants. I love my shoes. Visit Florida or New York? New York. Myspace or Facebook (or do they both suck)? Facebook. It sucks, but at least the memes there are hilarious as fuck.

[singfromthesea]

john mulaney sentence starter meme.

compiled from new in town, the comeback kid, and other bits and bobs!

‘you want me to do whaaaaattttttt?’

‘ah! one feels like a duck splashing around in all this wet! and when one feels like a duck, one is happy!’

‘ooooo, ducklings!’

‘can i have a sandwich, please?’

‘we took off while you were in the bathroom.’

‘i don’t look like someone who used to do anything.’

‘he / she / they ordered one black coffee for him / her / themself.’

‘we’re gonna frame you for murder.’

‘can i get on the plane now, please?’

‘♪ life is a fucking nightmare! ♪’

‘i am too blessed to be stressed!’

‘ohhhhh!!!!! i’m sorry!!!!!’

‘you’re gonna go to jail for thirty years!’

‘because we hate you.’

‘i’m very gay, i’d like a few dollars.’

‘the one thing from mcdonalds no child could enjoy!’

‘i’m either having a drink or having to pee. you’re living the golden years kid, not me.’

‘i don’t know if you can tell that from everything else about me.’

‘sometimes.....i get nervous....on airplanes.’

‘do not fuck with me.’

‘♪ this is the loudest thing in the world! ♪’

‘you could pour soup in my lap and i’d probably apologise to you!’

‘i think about that every goddamn day.’

‘college is just your opinion.’

‘i think _____ is a lesbian.’

‘too old to be a duckling. quack quack.’

‘it’s always been legal for us.’

‘now, take this meal voucher that doesn’t work!’

‘go! fetch!’

‘i am very small and i have no money. so you can imagine the stress i am under.’

‘hey, remember when we met in the science building?’

‘i’ll keep all my feelings right here and then one day i’ll die.’

‘eat ass, suck a dick and sell drugs.’

‘i’m new in town and it gets worse.’

‘mmmm. gross. mop it up.’

‘i don’t care for that shit at all.’

‘thirteen-year-olds are the meanest people in the world. they terrify me to this day.’

‘nooo!!!! that’s the thing i’m sensitive about!’

‘my dad is cold-blooded.’

‘this is an on-fire garbage can.’

‘could be a nursery.’

‘were bullets free back then?’

‘and i said no. you know, like a liar.’

‘i have all these fucking markers.’

‘scatter!!!!!!’

‘it’s the one thing you can’t replace.’