#And Balder is better off anyways!

[bugwolfsstuff]

The absolute Loki slander in The Sword of Summer when he hasnt even done anything (yet) is hilarious to me.

Everyone is absolutely bullying this poor lad and he's just sitting there eating his purple pop tarts and talking to Magnus.

Gunilla: Loki and his spawn are pure evil and want to cause Ragnarok.

Samirah: My father is evil and i hate him.

Odin: Loki is not to be trusted he is pure evil! and manipulative and wants to start Ragnarok!

Meanwhile Loki: *eating poptarts and sitting on odin's throne* I dont wanna start Ragnarok, im having too much fun, you should probably not bring the sword to the place where its fated to start Ragnarok, bud. You should leave it with your uncle who is a Viking nerd and would probably love it. Also fuck the gods, they suck. Also i like you Magnus, youre funny :)

So this:

(From Hammer of Thor) was just uneeded.

(also funfact we dont actually know what Loki is the god of. The fire giant thing was him being mixed up with Logi, a fire giant/god)

The worst thing he does in the first book is hold Rudolph's—Randolph fuck, whatever his name is— family hostage and burn him. But Magnus doesn't know that yet so theres not any reason for him to be hostile, infact Magnus has littarly expressed feeling sorry for Loki when Loki tells him about his punishment.

Also how is Thor the first, and likely only god to say that Loki isn't pure evil

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Aaaah I see we are talking about Vikings. I like it .

I am still very interested in Loki meeting Harald and /or Rollo.

The headcanon about Rollo was wild. I like it.

Also….what is all this teasing with the Harald’s pictures. Mean woman.

Haha I just felt like bugging you hehehe. Anyway idk if this is what you wanted but....

Midgard

You haven't seen it in centuries

Not since your death

An end that saw you to a new beginning

Nothing more glorious than your mortality

Another term of dredgery

Even if your master is a god

The trickster of the bunch, the cruelest in your eye

He is not kind or patient

He demands and your eternal duty is to obey

So it is that follow him down to your former home

You do not miss the winters now that you taste them again

Loki walks ahead of you

Even afoot, he wears his status proudly

A trek that has you worn and wrought

Though he is unbothered by the distance

You know better than to ask why he's come so far

Another of his tricks no doubt

So long as you no their target, you will not protest

He summons a grand tent to sleep

You remain without, keeping watching through the darkness

Morning comes and you're off again

This time, with a mount beneath him though you stay afoot

His robes are untouched by the wilderness or the whipping salt of the coast

Your skin is raw and cracking

How is it you still feel as a mortal would

You stop again, this time he listens to the winds, holding a finger out to measure them

You don't question him, you never would dare

His jade eyes glimmer over you as he snaps the reins

The horse trots forward and you trail after

Over the ridge and down a hill, into a valley where men sharpen swords and boil stew in metal helms

He is undeterred as they stand to greet him on guard

As if they can sense his unearthly countenance, they let him pass

They do not see you behind him, can they?

He approaches the tent at the centre

He does not request entrance, rather he pulls back the thick flap and enters

You slip in behind him, the tent scented with heavy spices and smoke

There's a man there, binding his fur boots with strips of hide

The ink on his face sets a contrast to his bright eyes as he looks to his visitor

He stands, his hand on his hilt

"Did you not pray for me? Yet you would greet me with steel?" Loki challenges, his words flicking from his snakish tongue

"I pray to the norns, to valhalla, and the warriors," the man argues, "you look as none."

Loki scoffs, slithering around the tent.

The man's eyes fall upon you, the first to do so

You watch your master, ignoring his attention

"I know Valhalla, I know war, and I know you, Harald Finehair," Loki taunts, "and I know this place... this basin in which you've raised camp. What is it you Midgardians call it?"

"The Snake's Nest," the man, called Harald, turns his sights on the god.

"And do you know what we call it? My brothers, my father, and blessed Freya?"

"You are not--"

"What is it you prayed for, Finehair? A princess so fair," Loki interrupts, "to ease your sorrows and your loneliness."

"How..." the man gulps, and looks at you again, "you cannot be... you've brought her to me?"

Loki snickers, as he does when his brother has fallen prey to one of his traps, "she is a thrall. I should pity if you would believe her a princess."

You don't react. You are what he says.

"Which are you? Thor? Balder? Should not Freya balance the scales of love?"

Another crowing cackle from your master.

"I am the one who heard you, what should it matter?"

Harald, of the finehair, drags his hand from the hilt.

"What sacrifice do you require?" He asks.

Loki laughs once more, the seal on this man's fate.

[theillithidgoddixoffriendship]

Been told that I should have some kind of social thing to talk to people. That’s fine. That’s *GOOD* because APPARENTLY my new form makes me come off as super stiff.

So. I’m Mai. Formerly a Tiefling. Grew up in Balders Gate. Well, better to say, “Survived” in Balders Gate XD you don’t do much growing up when you’re just scrounging for food on the streets, AMIRITE!?

Anyways, things got better. Formed a pact with Asmodeus and burninated a handful or very deserving assholes. Became a “Redistrubution Expert.” Up until the point that things went a little wonky for me, yaknow?

Uh, yeah. That’s a long story. XD

[haljathefangirlcat]

I find it interesting that of the Norse gods, only the Vanir are given myths of a detailed courtship and wedding. The Aesir couples that mythology mentions: Odin and Frigg, Thor and Sif, Loki and Sigyn, Bragi and Idunn, Sunna and her barely-seen husband, are all mentioned as married right off the bat. Recorded mythology never describes how they came together, they're just said to be married, and sometimes said to love each other. The only exception is Saxo's Hodr/Nanna, but Saxo liked to mix and match mythological motifs anyway, so the original myth could just be Hodr lusted for Nanna and tried to abduct her, thus eventually leading to Baldr's murder and Vali being born to avenge the kinslaying. (There is a Scandinavian ballad motif that's also present in England called Svend i Rosengard/Sven in the Rose Garden, where one brother slays the other and is forced to confess to his deed after being questioned by the mother. The motive is always something trivial or even cryptic like, "it was for the cutting of a twig that would never be a tree", and the killing itself is sometimes an accident where one brother's knife slips, but sometimes the two brothers are fighting over the same woman.)

The Vanir couples do have detailed marriage stories. Skadi and Njord have a mostly comedic myth about their marriage and separation, and Frey has an elaborate myth about his longing for Gerd. Freyja has no details about her courtship, but there's also the theory that she and Odr are just doublets of Odin and Frigg, so they don't really need a marriage myth.

Conversely, in Greco-Roman mythology, for all their ups and downs and questionable ethics by today's standards, almost every divine couple gets a myth about their marriage. You have couples like Zeus and Hera, but also more minor gods like Vertumnus and Pomona or Cupid and Psyche. Even Cronus and Rhea get a myth where they wrestle another divine couple for control over Olympus.

See, that's a difference I always found kind of funny, too. I like to imagine there might have been some courtship and marriage myths on the Aesir side, too, perhaps even very dramatic ones considering all the implied drama between, say, Odin and Frigg and Thor and Sif, or even Bragi and Idun. But, ofc, even if that was the case, we'd probably never learn about them. Then again, from the Aesir (and numbered-among-the-Aesir ;)) we get two very romantic story elements like Sigyn's bowl of venom and Nanna's all-too-literal heartbreak, so...

Speaking of Nanna, I love that you mentioned the version of Balder's death in Gesta Danorum because 1. I actually adore that version, lol, GD!Hod is such an adorable anxious mess of a guy and they just keep putting him in situations (even Saxo's moralizing narrator won't let him catch a break!), 2. I was reading some Beowulf-related stuff recently and kinda started crack-theorizing that Saxo put Hod's eumerized form and his story where he did just because Danish Kings' Names Start With An H, 3. there's a very interesting work by Anatoly Liberman, Some Controversial Aspects of the Myth of Baldr, that, iirc, does propose a "tragic love triangle with Hod as the bad guy" origin for Balder's death. (... also, 4. if you don't know the Danish comic Valhalla by Peter Madsen, please read it because it's amazing AND the way it combines Saxo and the Eddas in the issue The Ballad of Balder is just *chef's kiss*)

As for the Vanir, leaving aside the eternal Frigg/Freya problem, what always stuck out to me the most is that, while there's a lot of elements ranging from the unusual to the bizarre to the clearly comedic in Skadi's wedding (look, the woman is the one who dons the armor and goes on the bridal quest, while the man waits to be won! But she can only choose him by his feet! Oh, and now she's gone and accidentally picked one guy when she wanted another! And Loki's tied a goat to his...!), Freyr's doesn't, imo, really fare that much better. I mean, sure, it's not unusual for a nobleman to send his servant to court the girl he wants to marry for him, especially when he has good reason to think the girl's family won't exactly welcome him with open arms... but you wouldn't really expect him to go from lounging around sighing and brooding and leaving his family in various states of concerned "????" to immediately losing possesion of his Awesome Magical Sword as soon as he finally resolves to just send his servant to court the girl. Even with all the obvious differences, it honestly reminds me a bit of Gunther, Siegfried, and Brunhild, specifically in the Nibelungenlied. Except I think even there Gunther might have been actually a little more proactive... and the consequences of his choices were a bit more, so to say, direct...

There's also something to say about how the Aesir have, as far as we know, only jotun lovers while the Vanir have jotun wives, I think. Or rather, I know a lot has been said about it. But I got really into those theories years ago, so now everything's a bit tangled up in my head and I'm not quite sure anymore of what I read and what I made up myself, lol.

[kharmii]

Someone posted more garbage blaming male isolation on 'white guy culture' and 'capitalism', and then, like a coward, they made it so a person couldn't reblog. I still wrote something in reply:

No, it's not the usual bullshit sheltered left-wing college kids want to blame it on. No, everything isn't the fault of 'capitalism' or 'eeebul white guys'. Again, secular progressivism has caused more death and misery worldwide than all religious wars combined. If anything, leftwing culture has made everything more effed up for men with screw around culture creating an environment where we now have the greatest percentage of unmarried men in recorded history. For sure, it's not healthy for men to treat their SO as their only source of emotional support, but now they don't even have that.

Everything started going wrong during the Carter and then Reagan administrations in the 70/80's. Before then, men could get good paying jobs in a factory near where they lived and make enough money to support a wife being a stay-at-home mother and a couple of kids. Pushing women to enter the workforce 'for independence' is a huge scam foisted on us, because now we have a culture where both parents often have to work to barely afford a couple of kids and a mortgage. Women find it more noble to be cogs in the machine. Some people can't even manage the kids, (or they are lazy and selfish) so they end up with a butt-licking poop-eating stanky dog-child to get extra weird about.

Next thing you know; they're leaving rude comments about Kristi Noem shooting a damn dog (it's a fucking dog, calm down weirdos) while gushing, "I love my dog so much! Look at my shit-breath baby that just got done eating its own ass and is now licking off my ice-cream cone! Isn't that cuuuuute!"

Anyway, another problem we have (that goes along with the point about men in social clubs) is that we don't have close knit communities anymore. We don't have neighborhoods where everybody knows each other. How many people live in isolation on social media and don't even know their neighbors? How often do you see block parties or guys inviting the other guys on the street over for a cookout? Less people have children, so you don't meet new people having other peoples' kids knocking on your door asking if your child can play. (I suppose theoretically you could meet new people letting your stank-beast 'child' run around a dog-park).

-So then you have isolated men who have to meet other male friends through work. How would that work out for me if I was a male? It sure didn't work out for me being a female. I married and had children with a man from the other side of the goddamn planet while the losers I worked with labeled me as no fun because I wasn't into the Dem voting blue state party culture.

If you are a man in my place of employment, you have to be into the casino boats, betting pools, smoking pot jokes, telling the same stupid stories about getting drunk at bars and ballgames during your long-ago youth....and it's no wonder half of them ended up childless, unmarried weirdos in their forties and fifties. There was the one lowlife into fuck-and-dump culture, (and even he lived with his mom until age 40) but most of them are incels who are getting fatter and balder. None of them have grown into mature role-models with great character. None of them are the elders at the church or the guy you'd go to if you needed advice.

Side note: The guy they've talked into stalking me doesn't fit in with the culture. Under better circumstances, (like if he wasn't a misogynistic patronizing asshole who isn't even attracted to me, and I'm not really sure what the deal is.....) I might be into him, because for an older man, he's physically fit. He's into one of those Sierra Club type groups full of people doing outdoorsy shit, such as camping, hiking, canoeing..etc. He belongs to a lot of co-ed social clubs where they play cards on Thursdays or whathaveya...

Meanwhile, the flabby lowlife goobers complain that 'there's nothing to do in a small town! This is why so many men are dying of fentanyl!'

I've taken the piss about this so much. The Kharmii be like.......you mean there's not enough lowlife shit for low lives to do in a small town? Low lives have to OD on fentanyl out of boredom because there's not enough for dirty rotten low life scumbags to do? You have to drive all the way up to the suburbs for strip clubs and casino boats, and the Biden economy has made gas over $4/gallon?

[sonofcoulson]

Tales of Asgard

Series 2, Episode 6

The Death of Balder

Balder the Brave is plagued by bad dreams. World ending dreams, fratricidal dreams, dreams of pain and suffering. One night he dreams of his own death. He keeps trying to pass them off as nothing but Nanna knows better. She goes with him to see Frigga.

Frigga tries to ease his fears but admits the she has also had the dream of his death.

Troubled, she speaks to Odin who resolves to investigate. He disguises himself as Wanderer, son of Warrior. He asks for a seer, an interpreter of dreams. They say there was a wise woman who could have helped you but she is dead. He is directed to a grave site near Niflheim. He casts runes and incants etc, eventually raising a spirit.

She tells him that Balder is coming to the land of the dead.

He asks how, she tells him only something small will hurt him

He asks who, she tells him only someone innocent.

She sees he is not Wanderer, son of Warrior. He is Odin.

He sees she is not the wise woman. She is Angraboda who laid with Loki and birthed Jormungundr, the world serpent.

She says like father like son (hinting that she is the mother of one of his children, revealed in Ragnarok to be Hela, his secret first child).

She disappears.

He returns and tells all to Balder and Nanna outside their home. Frigga has a plan! She will ask all things to swear not to hurt Balder (spoiler alert - she forgets mistletoe).

The others are sceptical so she demonstrates by slinging a stone at Balder. It changes course and flies around him. They laugh.

Volstagg sees and has a try. He calls Hogun and Fandral. Fandral tries. Hogun thinks it's a stupid thing to do, so sits with Sif and Nanna.

Soon the whole royal court and a few others are all having a go using more dangerous methods. Some one has brought mead. Nanna is worried and starts asking them to stop. Balder thinks it's all hilarious.

Loki stands, a contemptuous look on his face. He then spies Frigga talking worriedly to Odin and sneaks over disguised as an old woman. He hears her saying that she forgot mistletoe. Odin says don't worry it's so small and insignificant. She vows to ride to the nearest patch anyway. Odin says take Sleipnir. Of course, when she gets there, Sleipnir is gone. She borrows Gullenbursti and rides to the patch but the patch is gone. She realises and rides back as fast as she can.

We see Loki approach Hodr who is blind asking people what is going on, but they are all too busy playing their new game and many are a bit drunk.

Loki asks why he doesn't join in the fun. He says he can't aim and has no weapon. Loki hands him mistletoe transmuted into a spear. He lines him up and helps him throw then vanishes.

The spear, of course, kills Balder. The merriment dies down as he falls. Nanna screams. Silence.

Hodr asks what's happening, does Balder think it's funny. Nanna asks if Hodr threw the spear. He says yes, did it work? Nanna pulls out a dagger. Odin says no, think of the consequences. She does. Hodr dies without being able to name Loki. She turns the blade on herself. Frigga says no, think of your son. Balder wouldn't want this. She does it anyway. The gods are stunned.

They can't believe Hodr would harm anybody, let alone Balder. And they are shocked at Nanna's reaction. Odin remembers the old lady behind him when they talked about mistletoe. He had never seen her before. Sif hesitantly says she saw Loki with Hodr just before but didn't see the weapon (she knows he will be punished severely if not killed).

Odin orders Loki found. The Einherjar (Cpt Harokin, Tyr etc), Volstagg and Hogun are all too happy to go Loki hunting. Odin allows it. Thor objects, still not believing Loki could truly kill his brother. Frigga says you must have proof. They go anyway.

Odin says we have work to do. He sends Fandral with Sleipnir (fast combo) to Niflheim to plead for Balder's return with the goddess of death. She (Hela, though she doesn't reveal her identity to Fandral) says she'll let Balder go back if all living things in Asgard weep for him. The Einherjar, Sif and the Warriors Three all go about making sure all living things weep for Balder (not hard, everything loved him). But one ornery old Asgardian lady flat out refuses. Of course this was Loki in disguise (Hela knew this would happen and revels in Odin's distress). They later suspect as much but have no proof. Again.

Balder and Nanna's funeral scene (we'll cut Thor's Dwarf murder that is actually for real in the Norse legend).

Someone surely mourns for Hodr as most of the gods believe it was Loki. They are simply waiting for proof. And he is about to give it to them.

They retire to Volstagg's (Aegir in the norse legends) hall to drink from the magically replenishing kettle. The wake in Asgard is sacred (sacred drinking!) meaning no quarrels. Emboldened by this knowledge, Loki gatecrashes. He speaks to Hogun (Eldir in the legend), who is helping serve.

Loki (already drunk): Good evening my fine fellow! What occupies the great Asgardian gods this evening.

Hogun: This is Balder's wake. Your brother's wake.

L: Yes, yes I know all that. But what are the gods discussing over their mead?

H: They mostly speak of Balder...also of weapons and their prowess in war. No one here has anything friendly to say about you.

"Loki says that he will go into the feast, and that, before the end of the feast, he will induce quarrelling among the gods, and "mix their mead with malice". Hogun responds that "if shouting and fighting you pour out on" to the gods, "they'll wipe it off on you". Loki then enters the hall, and everyone there falls silent upon noticing him." (source - Wikipedia)

Fandral (Fimafeng in the legend), also serving, tells him that he is not welcome.

Loki rages at him and insults him.

The gods nearby stick up for the two servers that confronted Loki and says that they are fine servers and Loki pulls a knife on Fandral who is nearby.

Frigga shames him into putting it away.

He does so, mumbling that he "couldn't bear to hear it".

"Breaking the silence, Loki says that, thirsty, he had come to these halls from a long way away to ask the gods for a drink of "the famous mead". Calling the gods arrogant, Loki asks why they are unable to speak, and demands that they assign him a seat and a place for him at the feast, or tell him to leave. Hogun (The skaldic god Bragi in the legend) is the first to respond to Loki by telling him that Loki will not have a seat and place assigned to him by the gods at the feast, for the gods know what men they should invite.

Loki does not respond to Hogun directly, but instead directs his attention to Odin, and states..."

(source - Wikipedia)

L: Do you remember, Odin, when in bygone days

You treated me as your son?

Am I not to be seated at my own brother's wake?

O: ...Let the wolf's father be seated.

(In the Norse legend, Loki is literally the wolf's father. Here it is a jab at the dramatic scenes after Fenrir's capture).

Odin has Thor pour out a drink for Loki. Loki toasts all the gods naming Hogun as an exception.

He then goes on to insult a great number of gods whilst taking care not to make it a quarrel.

Loki, in his own personal hell here, takes his anger and guilt out on all the other gods.

Everyone is greatly offended, not to mention mostly convinced of Loki's guilt.

Frigga tries to shame Loki again, asking him what Balder would think of all this if he were here.

“Ah! Frigg,” said Loki scathingly, “I can see you’d like to know more about my skills. It was I who fixed things so that you’ll never again welcome Balder home.” (source - https://thenorsegods.com/lokis-flyting/)

Pandemonium. Odin shouts for order. He will not have Balder's wake sullied.

"Freyja replies that Loki is lying, that he just wants to "yelp about wicked things" that gods and goddesses are furious with him, and that he will go home thwarted. In response, Loki calls Freyja a malicious witch, and claims that Freyja was once astride her brother Freyr, when all of the other laughing gods surprised her and Freyja then farted." (source - Wikipedia)

Different gods try to get him to shut up and he offends them all in return. He says Njörd slept with his sister too, that Frey bought his wife, reminds Skadi that he was chiefly responsible for the death of her father, and that Heimdall can never sleep or sit (even though he's sitting now).

Sif tries to make peace by refilling his drink and he infers that he slept with her. She goes to smack him but Volstagg catches the fist and says not here, not now.

Thor can't take it any more. He believed in Loki until the last but now he sees the truth. Loki killed Balder.

Thor: ...if it weren't for the sacred nature of this night...I should break every bone in your body and it still would not be enough.

“Look everyone!” cried Loki, unabashed. “Here’s the Son of Asgard (NB changed from Son of Earth)! What a blustering bully you are, Thor." (source - https://thenorsegods.com/lokis-flyting/)

T: I shall not loose Mjölnir, not for your sake, but for Balder's.

For your admission, you know we will come for you. We will be here till morning, you have the night to do as you please. Use it wisely.

"Loki raised one hand and shook his head. “I’ve shown the gods and sons of gods the sharp edge of my thoughts. But because of you and you alone, I think I’ll take my leave now. I know all about your strength.”

Loki paused and looked defiantly around him and then addressed self to his host. “You’ve brewed fine ale, Volstagg, but you’ll never hold another feast such as this.” Loki’s voice was rising. “Flickering flames will gorge on this hall and gut it and destroy everything you own; your body will be flayed by fire.”

Loki turned and was gone and his terrible words still echoed round walls. For a long time the gods and goddesses and elves stared into their ale, shaken and grieving. In silence they sat, and in silence they rose and left Aegir’s hall."

(source - https://thenorsegods.com/lokis-flyting/)

Odin orders Sigyn released thinking that her presence will draw him to the family home. It will, but not for the reasons Odin suspects.

Sigyn is duly released to the family home. She suspects that her release is a ruse. Her mother is upstairs caring for her two sons, Narfi and Váli. Loki is brooding down by the fire. He is using nettle yarn to make a net. There is silence for a while. Then...

S: What did Lorelei whisper to you when you left me in the dungeon?

(Quick flash of Lorelei whispering)

L: ...(Loki bristles)

S: What are you doing?

L: ...

S: Are you making something?

L (without looking up): Yes, obviously I'm making something...

S: Won't you tell me what it is?

L: No.

S: Where are the boys?

L: ...

S: Loki!

L: Upstairs. With your mother.

S: ...

L: ...

S: Lorelei enjoyed talking about Asgard's pain...

L: ...

S: ...because of Karnilla's invasion.

L: ...

S: I know that Karnilla took you as her prisoner.

L: ...

S: She told you didn't she? You know my secret.

L: ...

S: You are angry because you think that my love is a lie.

L: ...

S: I liked you first!

L: I am trying to concentrate.

S: I knew I needed to learn more about sorcery to hold your interest and it is like she knew-

L: I don't care

S: She came to me and taught me all the things she thought you would be interested in-

L: I don't care!

S: And I taught them to you!

L: I DON'T CARE! (goes to leave)

S: Wait! Listen! Karnilla thought it too great a risk to be in Asgard, so she showed me ways to leave. Ways without being seen by Heimdall...

Loki: Tell me more.

Cut upstairs to Sigyn's mum, one of the boys tells her that some people are coming. She shouts down that some people are coming.

Sigyn says go, he throws his creation into the fire and goes without saying what his escape plan is. Out the back, he jumps into Franang's Falls whilst turning into a silver salmon.

When Thor and Sif (taking the place of a god called Kvasir in the legends) arrive at Sigyn's home, there is, at first glance, no sign of Loki. They give Sigyn to the Einherjar to hold but leave the boys with her mother (in the legends they meet a gruesome end because of their father's crimes). They grill her about Loki's escape plan but she tells them he deliberately told her nothing so she there was no chance of betrayal.

Sif spies the ashes of Loki's creation and deduces that it was a net. Loki was trying to figure out how his plan might be foiled so he must have...turned into a fish. He is probably hoping they will leave without discovering his plan as he will have to jump up the waterfall otherwise. Sif has them recreate the net and they cast it in repeatedly to force Loki's hand. It works and he leaps over the net and tries desperately to get up the falls where Thor catches him (he really is a good fisherman!).

"The gods brought their net, and they wrapped it tightly around the fish and carried it between them. The salmon began to drown in the air, gasping for water, and then it thrashed and twitched, and now they were carrying a panting Loki.

"What are you doing?" he asked. "Where are you taking me?"

Thor just shook his head and grunted, and did not reply. Loki asked the other gods, but none of them would tell him what was happening, and none of them would meet his eye." (source - Neil Gaiman's Norse Mythology)

They take him and Sigyn to a cave where Odin is waiting. They bind Loki to some rocks. Skadi brings a large serpent which they bind above Loki. Odin explains that the (figurative) poison that Sigyn has been pouring into Loki's ear has led to all this (eg family dysfunction, treason...fratricide). She will now be responsible for preventing the poison from pouring into his ear, he says as he hands her a bowl.

Sigyn: What will I do when the bowl is full?

Odin: Empty it.

S: But the poison will fall on him then.

No answer.

S (realises that's the point): How long?

O: One. Thousand. Years.

As Skadi is preparing the serpent for this end (ie binding it so the fangs are exposed). Loki laments his fate.

Odin (furious): You killed my son! You are lucky I don't have your children tear eachother's guts out in front of you!

(A reference to the gruesome fate of Loki's sons mentioned above)

Loki: I am your son!

O: You are no son of mine.

L: Where is mother? Does she know about -

The first drip of poison lands in Loki's ear. His scream is deafening, agonising. All the gods wince, save Odin who looks on grimly. Sigyn immediately begins to catch the drips.

Sigyn: Please! I think Lorelei had something to do with it!

Thor: Save your lies witch. No one believes them.

S: Loki came to see me in the dungeon, I think she whispered to him on the way out.

T (wry laugh): Loki wasn't allowed to hear any more of your treasonous poison.

Volstagg: No men were allowed near Lorelei.

S: He's a shapeshifter, you fool!

O: Enough.

S: Lady Sif, please. You know what Lorelei is like. I swear it in truth!

O: Enough!

S: Ask Frigga!

O: ENOUGH!

The gods all leave. Save Odin. When the others are gone he tells Sigyn she can leave any time she pleases. He adds that she cannot free him as he is bound with Gleipnir (the same type of ribbon that Fenrir is bound with). Loki tries to plead with him as he leaves but there is no mercy. The bowl is filling up.

Despite the Warriors Three trying to dissuade her and making sure Thor doesn't find out and think she's been fooled by Sigyn's ruse, Sif talks to Frigga.

Frigga senses that there may be something in this (she has a limited ability as a seer). Sigyn seemingly gets thrown back in the dungeon saying they used her to trick Loki. She laments Loki's fate and blames Karnilla and carefully questions how Lorelei discovered her power and how it works and strokes her ego etc etc. And she laments and questions and cajoles and tricks until Lorelei slips up and essentially admits her part and her and Sigyn's connection to Karnilla. "Sigyn" then becomes Frigga and tells the female guards who were waiting outside to come and put the newly invented Asgardian collar on her (the wearer cannot speak).

We then see Thor brooding into the middle distance. Sif suddenly approaches and tells Thor all. He Mjölnirs over to Loki's prison cave, winces at a Loki scream, tries to dismiss the guards, fails, barges in anyway, tries to undo Gleipnir and fight off the guards at the same time, he can't. Sigyn is shocked but continues to hold the bowl. Thor is getting dangerously close to decking the Einherjar guards when Frigga arrives on Sleipnir and harangues the guards for not obeying a prince of Asgard and tells them about the new evidence. Thor uses the distraction to try and undo Loki's bonds again but between his high stress level and his big meaty hands and the enchantment on the ribbon he can't do it. He gets Sigyn to swap with him and she proves more up to the task, releasing him as Frigga uses magic to release the enchantment on the ribbon. He obviously needs medical assistance. Frigga says Eir is coming. Sigyn holds him. Thor is so very sorry.

Epilogue:-

Some time has passed. Sigyn broods out of the window at the family home. Her boys come to comfort her.

Odin sits stony faced on his throne with no joyful courtiers about him.

Frigga grooms Sleipnir and gives him a cuddle.

Sif and the Warriors Three sit by the fountain where they told tall tales in s1. The Warriors Three are telling tall tales again, especially Volstagg, to the amusement of the people nearby. Thor's response is quite muted.

Sif slides up and guesses that he's still thinking of Loki. She points out that Loki has been watching them from the shadows the whole time. Thor thanks her again for going to Frigga, otherwise Loki's screams would still be echoing across Asgard. She says she may not be fond of Loki but she couldn't see someone suffer like that if they might be innocent. If that term can apply to Loki. She still doesn't trust him. But he is Thor's brother...

We cut to Loki watching. Thor comes to join him. Hands him a tankard and pours a drink for him.

They discuss how everything is different now from when they were boys. They talk about some of their past adventures, and for a moment they feel happy and nostalgic. Then Loki falls silent.

Thor: How is the ear?

Loki: It's nearly healed...

T: ...Have you managed to see Sigyn recently?

L: ...After everything that has happened, everything we put eachother through, what Karnilla put us through...we can no longer look eachother in the eye...

My children have become strangers to me. I hear mother visits them though.

T: (nods)...

L: ...

T: ...Has mother has found a cure for Lorelei's enchantment yet?

L: ... ... ...

T: Ah. Not yet.

L: ...

T: ...We may never know exactly what Lorelei said to you...

(FLASHBACK to the whisper:-

Lorelei: Loki...you served me before, remember?

I heard you complaining about Balder. You want him dead, don't you? Me too. Kill him, it will be our little secret...don't tell...)

T (continuing): ...not being able to tell anyone that it wasn't really you, that someone forced you to kill your brother, to make sure that he stayed dead...

L (tears in eyes): ...

T: ...I'm sorry I stopped believing in you brother.

L: ...

T: ...

L: ...

(Thor tops up Loki's drink)

T (mock conspiritorially): You know Sif still doesn't trust you?

L: Why doesn't that surprise me?

T: She never really has since you cut off her hair...

L: ...(smirks)...(smirk fades)

T: ...

L: ...Perhaps she's right. Maybe I can't be trusted...

T: You can always be trusted...(Odin impression) for an easy answer, a clever trick, a chance for mischief.

L (turns into Odin): While you are too brash and think winning battles will make you worthy (turns back).

(They laugh)

L (proposing a toast): To glorious purpose!

T: Glorious purpose!

(They drink. Loki has a mischievous look in his eye.)

END

NB These actions, their consequences, Loki's treatment by Odin and the rest of the court (including Thor sometimes), and the brutal punishment for him and Sigyn (which breaks their relationship to smithereens) all feed in to his persona at the beginning of the first Thor movie.

He will have been out of his prison for some time but will obviously still be bitter despite his sort of exoneration.

Important things to remember going forward:

Volstagg and Sif are brother/sister.

In Thor: Ragnarök, Jormungundr will try to kill Hela out of loyalty to their father, but she kills them first. She then uses their poison to destroy Thor's eye (in the norse legend the serpent poisons Thor at Ragnarök).

Odin falls into his final Odinsleep instead of twinkling away when Hela is released (he is simply too weak to keep her in the underworld, not dead). Loki sucks up to the Grandmaster so he'll keep the sleeping Odin safe. There can be some high jinks with a sleeping Odin, like Weekend at Bernie's or something. Odin awakes in time for the Rainbow Bridge battle and is mauled by a vengeful Fenrir whilst protecting his sons. Hulk takes on Fenrir, but it is too late for Odin who dies with pride in his sons (In the norse legend Fenrir kills Odin at Ragnarök).

Fenrir was Loki's pup not Hela's but was locked up with Hela's already dead berserkers and starved to death. This is a pleasant surprise to Hela, who revives him and uses his hatred of the Asgardians and Odin in particular to set him up as a formidable weapon.

[worstloki]

would casual incest rly be that funny tho?

a question for those who planned the Loki series, not for me who thinks Hela proposing to Thor and Loki to get her hands on the throne not left to her would be hilarious crack

[greekbros]

"greek-Bros: Battle of the Bands"

*Apollo, Hermes and Dionysus have decided to enter into a devine battle of the bands. Their most toughest competition is the Nordic gods....and they've realized they need a another member*

Apollo: *grumbles to himself about the rules of the competition*

Dionysus: come on man, it's ok, I know that being barred from doing multiple things for being TOO good at something is upsetting, but think about it, you playing the lyre and not being the lead singer isn't too bad.... I mean, I've been kicked out of plenty of brewing competitions.

Hermes: Didn't you get kicked out of your own wine contest?

Dionysus: *turns to hermes with an unamused face, than turns to apollo* ....... besides! I bet we can find a singer.

Apollo: I know, but I just don't want you guys to lose just because I'm not going to guarantee you guys winning.

Hermes: I understand dude, but you know we need a lead singer. I mean......I'm not up for it.... mostly because I'm already playing tambourine. And you, Dionysus, are playing bongos.

Dionysus: *dramatically plays the bongos*

Hermes: we got strings, percussions, the brass...so...we need a voice. *Off in the distance, Hermes hears Ares scream at the top of his lungs* ......... anyway, I would like to sug-*again hears Ares scream again* ......I want to suggest asking Ar-*Ares just starts breath loudly* OH MY GODS WHAT NOW?!?

Apollo, Dionysus, and Hermes: *all three brothers go to find Ares lifting dumbbells*

Ares: *lifts up and screams*

Apollo: ....Ares can you PLEASE keep it down? Must you scream like that?

Ares: *tosses the dumbbell over* what? Oh, I was working on lung day.

Dionysus: Lung day?

Ares: Lung day......what are you guys doing?

Hermes: ......one second. *Huddles Apollo and Dionysus* I think we have our voice.

Apollo: *whispers* Absolutely not! I will not have Ares's literally primal cries of death and destruction ruining the harmony of our instrument playing.

Dionysus: *whispers* Look I know man, but to be fair the rules are simple, if you're playing an instrument, you can't sing. That's the rules.

Ares: *sneaks in to over hear the convo and whispers* what are you guys talking about?

Apollo, Dionysus and Hermes: *all scream and lose like 10 years off their life spans*

*later*

Apollo: *after explaining the situation to ares* Ok, do you understand what you need to do?

Ares: yes. Scream.

Apollo: NO. You have to sing. It's like screaming...but with intent.

Dionysus: *has a bowl of fruit with Hermes sitting by his side* oh boy, a singing lesson.

Hermes: Yep. This is going to absolutely ruin our ear holes.

*later after failing to teach Ares to sing*

Apollo: *in a corner nearly ready to cry and couldn't believe he was going to lose to Balder and his musically challenged nordic brethren*

Ares: *looking at Apollo like a child who has no idea what he did* ........stop crying you're ugly when you cry.

Hermes: holyshit. He's actually worse than his son.

Dionysus: *finished his fruit bowl and is sleeping from boredom*

*later, The Bois meet up with Nordic gods*

Balder: Ah there you are Apollo! How are you doing this fine and glorious mornin? I can't wait to hear your band's performance!

Apollo: *not happy* ......... swimmingly.

Balder: Ah wonderful! I see your brothers are here.

Ares: *walks around, sees Tyr, waves to Tyr* HEY MAN!

Tyr: *was talking to Thor, looks at Ares and tries to pretends he's not there, but waves back with his missing hand*

Balder: Hohohoho, good luck out there friend!

Apollo: ....let's get on with it.

*later the Nordic gods (Comprising of Baldar, Thor, Tyr and Loki), decides to sing a cover of a beetles song, the judges of Odin, Freya, Zeus and Hera were impressed at best*

Apollo: oh noooooooooooooo they're good! Why did I agree to this?

Ares: ....pft. I can totally do better. *Still has no idea what he's doing*

Dionysus: dude we're fucked.

Hermes: *was writing a song* ok because Apollo is being a sad sack...here's a song I rewrote our song.

Apollo: Hermes why?!

Hermes: if we can't win with genuinely good catchy music....than we will DEFINITELY win with this. *Shows what basically is a greek version of a tenacious D song*

Apollo: .......oh wow now you've insulted me.

Dionysus: holyshit this is perfect.

Ares: woah...... DIONYSUS switch places with me. I can't invoke the level of epic this song requires. Not even me.

Dionysus: oh thank God yes.

Apollo: .....we could have switched?

Hermes: yeah..... except you and Baldar....for obvious reasons....I mean..if he opens his mouth life itself becomes puppies and rainbows and you are literally the god of music, instruments and the concept of art itself.

Apollo: Fine...that's fair.

*Dionysus takes up the mantle of lead singer, Apollo now switched to a bouzouki (greek guitar), and Hermes in now on the drums instead of bongos and Ares has a tambourine and dionysus basically sing "With Karate I will Kick Your Ass" by Tenacious D. Basically is the spiritual blueprint for Jack Black.

*The Norse Gods can't stop laughing at the song because it's just that silly while the judges are horrified*

*later*

Balder: *gives Apollo a good pat on the back* Well done pal! I can't believe you and your awesome brothers won! Congratulations!

Apollo: *forever dieing inside for being associated with the song*....

Dionysus: my gods....that was the greatest song ever.

Ares: so Hermes how did you write that?

Dionysus: yeah man, what inspired you to write this absolute masterpiece?

Hermes: ....ugh....

*literally a week ago*

Hermes: *has been running around looking for a girl he was dating until he found her cheating on him with Hermóðr (the norse messenger of the gods) *sheds a tear* ....no reason......fukn bastard

[americangodstalk]

A look back at Mr. Wednesday in the novel (1)

It is also fascinating to see the differences between Mr. Wednesday in the novel and the series. 

We already mentionned that before, but in the book while Mr. Wednesday is still what you could consider a “jerkass”, not as much as in the television series. Wednesday appears as grumpy, bitter and condescending. The other gods keep saying and know that he is a manipulative deity and a liar. He has a very selfish and amoral behavior when it comes to women and seducing them. 

But he is not as rude, vulgar or callous as he is in the television series (I am mostly thinking of season 2 here,  which had the worst depiction of Mr. Wednesday). His manipulation and lies do not go as far as most of the Old Gods hating him. He does not bind the other gods to him - like he did with Sweeney and the Jinn. The other gods are very aware of how much of a trickster he can be, and they ally or help him at their own risks. When Wednesday insults you or make you cry, it is not out of nowhere and not out of pure cruelty - it is to reveal a truth or a weakness of yours (such as when he makes Easter cry, sure he hurts her and it might seem mean, but on the other side Easter herself admits he is right and she is basically living in an illusion of power and worship, Mr. Wednesday simply throws at her the harsh reality). 

And ultimately, he is charming. While he is bitter, he puts up a joyful and happy behavior. He is witty, makes good jokes, he has a true charisma, he can be seductive and ultimately he is right on his intentions. His proposition of war to the Old Gods is a good example. Most of the Old Gods do not buy it (because they still manage to survive despite their weakened state, because they know that they are doomed and that a war won’t change anything, because they know that Mr. Wednesday is selfish and only wants to enact this project because he is a war god and went to serve his own glory and function) but even if they dislike the project, they still admit that Mr. Wednesday is right, that the New Gods are very condescending and arrogant, and that ultimately trying something and doing something big is better than let themselves slowly age and wither and die without saying anything. Better fight one last time and find back their old epics than admit being defeated and wait for death with apathy, in a very ungodly-like way. Mama-Ji herself, after the reunion of the gods, admits that Mr. Wednesday only has a war idea out of selfish reasons, and that it is not a good idea to disrupt the order of the American gods  - but she also adds that a lot of the Old Gods are too old and too foolish to not say yes and go on board with his project. 

[Though ultimately it is not Wednesday’s pleas and ideas that will convince the Old Gods to go to war, but rather the definitive proof that the New Gods are willing to eliminate all the Old Gods that dare to speak against them, and not only that but are arrogant and foolish enough to broadcast it to all the other Old Gods as a threat.]

Of course how much of the charm is genuine and how much is due to his magical charms and spells is left up in the air. 

The, in a second time in the novel, after this first presentation of Mr. Wednesday, we get more of his sympathetic side. We learn of how he simply accepted and knows too well the sad and dark reality of being an Old God in America. We learn that much of his bitterness and grumpiness comes from being once the All-Father, the ruler and creator of the world, a leader of all gods and defensor of the realms, a god respected for his great powers and immense wisdom - but now being forced to live off scraps as an unknown, low-life con man, always starving for more worship and with merely fragments of his old powers. We also discover that he visibly discovered first-hand what decay, misery and abandonment caused to the Old Gods. We know that Thor, his own son, committed suicide out of despair, and the only other Norse god mentionned (Tyr, another son of Odin according to some versions) is nowhere to be found, presumably also gone somehow. And it should be remembered that if there was one thing that pissed off Odin in Norse mythology it was meddling with his sons (we can think of what Balder’s death meant for Loki). 

So ultimately, his hatred of the Old Gods condition, his hate of the New Gods and his desire to go out in a last bang seems mostly motivated by the despair and anger he feels at both his own fall and the destruction of his subjects/friends/sons. And anyway, he is self-aware enough to know how untrustworthy he is - he even outright tells the Old Gods during their meeting that they have no reason to trust him. 

Of course, we only learn latter of just how desperate he is and how far he is ready to go - but this still comes off as a shock, because despite being not very pleasant, Mr. Wednesday still appeared as tragic figure, and while you could not agree with everything he did, he still was a voice of reason among the Old Gods and a deity with a sad past that made you emphasize a bit with his condition. 

[imagine-loki]

Gifted

CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: 57/?

AUTHOR: nekoamamori ORIGINAL IMAGINE: 

Imagine that you are Stark’s niece and you secretly share a strong relationship with Loki since he entered the crew. One day you get hurt so bad during a mission that you are about to die.  Loki knows a spell that will save you and share his immortality with you but you and he will be linked forever sharing thoughts, pain, emotions…

RATING: T NOTES/WARNINGS:  Also on AO3 click here

Loki looked up at you when his tears had finally stopped.  He wasn’t recovered from the mind healing, not really, but you both knew that you needed to focus on getting out of here.  Healing could come later.  “What happened?” Loki asked, his voice still breaking.

“A lot,” you finally answered. “What do you remember?” you asked, hoping for a place to start. You still hadn’t let go of him, you were far too glad to have him in your arms and alive to let go of him. 

“Quite a lot of pain,” was his answer, in his dry tone.  

You couldn’t help chuckling at that.  Loki was Loki no matter how bad he felt. “Well, you’re not wrong. Balder kidnapped you to get you here. Apparently, he’s been trying to put powers into others, and it isn’t working, so he wants me back since he can put those stupid powers into me, and was using you as bait,” you explained the short version of the story.

Loki rolled his eyes. “Of course you can hold them. You’re half Asgardian because of the soulbond. My brother is an idiot for not figuring that out,”

“We already knew that your brother is an idiot,” you replied dryly. “Anyway, after you were kidnapped, Tony took me back to the compound to heal from my injuries during the battle. That took too long for Balder’s liking, so he decided to hide you from me,”

“And torture me, yes I remember that part,” his voice was just as dry as before. “By the way, what was that foul concoction you shoved down your throat to boost your powers? Never drink whatever that was again, please,” he groaned at the memory.  It had burned through you both with power.

You laughed again, glad to be able to relax with him in this brief respite. “That was coffee brewed with an energy drink instead of water with caffeine pills and sugar mixed in for added effect. Fury has already banned it in the tower to anyone who isn’t me,”

“I am banning it from you, darling. That stuff was wicked strong,” Loki grumbled

“It kept you alive, didn’t it? You were draining our power at an alarming rate. I did everything you could think of to keep us both alive,”

“Yes, well, Balder was not exactly pleasant to me, darling,”

You nodded, your expression growing grim and sour again. “I know. I healed all of the damage. So when you broke the soulbond, never do that again by the way, I did some things we will never tell your mother about, gathered Thor, Sif, Astrid, and Uncle Tony and we went to where Balder was keeping you,” you sighed. “We lost. I don’t know how, I was too busy keeping you alive and reforging the soulbond to pay attention to the battle. Balder brought the two of us here after the battle. Our friends are fine,” you added hastily.

“How do you know that?” he asked with panic in his eyes over Thor’s safety, over Tony’s and the rest of your friends. 

“Balder made a bargain. If I went with him quietly, he’d let them live. There wasn’t a choice and I knew together we’d figure out how to escape from here,” 

Loki nodded, accepting that answer, then thought to question: “What things are we never telling Mother about?”

“A whole hell of a lot of blood magic,” you replied guiltily. He gave you a look. “I got permission from everyone involved. And used my own blood for some of it. You were dying Lo,” you reminded him. That part was definitely a sticking point for using illegal magic.  You really didn’t care what you’d had to do to save both your life and his.  “I used blood to find you through the soulbond, which if you ever break again I will kill you,” you repeated. He chuckled at how often you were bringing that up.  You weren’t going to forget that soul ripping feeling very soon. “And Pepper offered her blood to open the portal to Asgard so I could save ky magic for bringing you back from the brink of death. I figured, correctly, that the only reason in the universe you would break the soulbond was because you were dying,”

“You are correct in that, darling, and I promise never to do it again,”

“You better not,” you grumbled at him.

“So, have you come up with a plan yet?”

“Not yet,” you admitted. “My first plan was making sure you were alive and going to stay that way for awhile. Next on the list is a shower. Then we need to buy some time until at least one of us has some magic at our disposal again,”

“Your eyes are jet black, darling. You should not be using any magic,” he reminded you gently. 

You shrugged. “I’ll do what I have to to get us out of here,” you reminded him. There really wasn’t much choice.  You could recover after your lives were saved.

“Of course you will,” he sighed in loving exasperation.

“So our next step after bathing should be to figure out how to get those runed manacles off of you,” you thought aloud. He nodded. “And I have to play along with Balder’s plans until we figure out how,”

“And I do not?” He asked. You knew he was wondering why the execution of these plans would most likely entirely be yours, why he wasn’t going to be helping. You blushed. “What is it, darling, what trick are you playing?” you thanked all the gods that he knew you so well. You reached out and took Loki’s hand, speaking directly to his mind through the soulbond.

/Balder keeps calling me his queen and has said that he is letting me ‘keep’ you as a consort/ you admitted. 

Loki laughed in your mind /My brother is a moron/ he informed you

/Yes, but you should be safe. I doubt he’ll even let you out of the suite. I’m the one who has to keep up the charade/

/Darling, you are nearly as skilled a liar and actor as I am. You will be fine/

You smiled, reassured by his faith in you. You managed to extricate yourself from his hold and got to your feet. You offered him your hands. “Come along, peacock. We need to get all of that blood off of you,”

“I can bathe myself,” he grumbled at you, too proud to want you to see him at less than his best. 

You rolled your eyes. “So come join me, then,” you replied, stepping back. He swung his legs out of the bed and got to his feet. About three steps toward the bathroom his legs threatened to fall out from under him. You had ducked under his arm in an instant, wrapping arm around his waist and supporting his weight. “Come along, peacock,” you laughed and helped him to the bathroom while he growled about his useless weak body. “Love, you nearly died. The fact that you’re awake is a miracle,” you reminded him.

You managed to get him into the bath and all of the blood and grossness off of you without too much trouble, though Loki was embarrassed over being bathed.  It wasn’t like there was anything sexy going on.  You dried yourself off and found clean clothes in the bedroom of the suite. All of the clothes you had been provided were skimpy dresses. So you stole pajamas that were supposed to be for Loki. He didn’t comment on your choice, though you could see in his eyes that he was glad for it.  You just wanted to wear pants. You didn’t trust Balder as far as you could throw him. Loki laid back on the bed, drained and exhausted. “Come, darling, let’s get some rest. We both need to rest in order to heal,” you nodded and joined him in the bed, laying your head on his chest where you could listen to his heartbeat.

“When did Mother teach you to soulheal?” he asked while he stroked your hair.  You could tell from his movements that he was just as happy to have you back as you were to have him.

“When you took me there when my eyes were black last time. I shadowed her in the healing wing a couple of days and she showed me, though I couldn’t do the spells myself at the time,”

“Good thing she did,” he commented.

“I think she sees more of the future than she lets on. She sent me a warning that I would need the soulbond words and warned me to memorize them well,” you added softly, already succumbing back to sleep. You were safe, for now, Loki was alive and healing, you would figure out how to get out of this when you were more healed and rested.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Pureblood 14 (Sirius Black x F!Oc)

Words: 2,576

Warnings: Violence/ Torture

Masterlist: 

Chapter 13 // Chapter 15

‘Dear Remus:

The Christmas party wasn't as disastrous as I thought it would be, but it wasn't much fun either. I hope you’ve had something better.

Anyway, what I really wanted to tell you is the progress of the plan:

Regulus and Jenna heard my father talked about a minister who will marry us as soon as we graduate, he’s supposed to be a great friend of the family, although I never met him. The ceremony will be different from that of my older brothers. The men talked about a future change in the wizarding world. May have to do with what happened to me in the summer, I still don’t know the details, but the fact is that they’re in a hurry to get us married and unite the families.

The women talked about a huge dance where only the most important families are invited. I thought that with the Christmas party, all the presentations would end, but I was wrong. Jenna heard that even the Potters are invited.

I don't know which news makes me more nervous.

It's all we could get, I don't know what it can do, but I'm confident you can come up with something huge and cool– by the way, did you like the gift I sent you? I was planning to go buy that book myself in a Muggle town near my home, but I had to send the house elf, I hope you like it.

Merry Christmas, Wolfie.

P.S x

 I put the letter in an envelope, walk to the window where Lif is, Jane and Apollo’s owl, I give her a snack and I give her the letter.

"With the Lupins, little Lif…” I pat her head and she flies off.

I decide to take a shower and change into a simple blue shirt and jeans. I leave my room and hear voices from the stairs.

"Enough Isis!"

"Who is Remus, my dear Juno?" Isis and Juno are at each end of the table. Juno looks furious, her face is red, unlike our older sister who has a huge smile. "Is anyone in love? You mention it too much in your journal…”

She says holding up a black notebook.

Wait a minute.

"Remus?" I ask drawing his attention. Juno bites her lip.

“It's not what it seems! It’s not Remus, Isis shouldn’t read my diary!”

"Did someone say Diary?" Balder comes to my side. Isis shares a look with our brother and throws the notebook at him, who catches him in the air and runs to the living room, Juno and Isis follow him and since I want to know what happens, I also run.

"I can't talk to him, I just can't, is too embarrassing," Balder recites in a high-pitched voice making us laugh. “What does Persephone have? I am much smarter than her– and interesting. I don’t get it!”

I turn to Juno and my smile disappears when I notice her watery eyes, and how she hugs herself.

"Hey, Bal, come on, that's private,” My brother ignores me and continues reading. "Balder!" My voice surprises him and he sees me raising an eyebrow. "I said enough is enough.”

"And what’ll you do about it, little sister?"

Suddenly the four of us are running around the house. Isis and Balder throw the notebook at each other while Juno and I try to catch up with them. And to our bad luck, they take advantage of coming of age to cast the spawn spell just as we’re about to catch them.

But after a moment I manage to jump on Balder's back and we both struggled to get the notebook. I pull his hair and he complains.

"You're a damn bloody monkey, Persephone!"

"Return the diary or I'll bite you, Ape,” I stretch and finally take the notebook, but I don't have time to celebrate since Balder loses his balance and we both fall to the ground.

Isis and Juno see us and the last one lets out a sigh of relief when she sees me with her diary. The tense moment is replaced by Balder's laughs, then followed by the girls, including me. Balder and I carefully get off the ground.

The laughter continues until I feel something go down my nose, I touch that part and my fingers are bloody. “Oh, great.”

"Classic, Persephone’s always the one who gets hurt," Isis snorts.

"Oh, this is my time to get in," says Jane walking towards us with a small briefcase in hand. "I heard laughter, I knew you would need my help," She gestures with her hand and guides me to a dining room chair. I sit down and she faces me, opens the briefcase and begins to heal my nose.

Isis and Balder start a conversation as if nothing had happened and go towards the living room, while Juno approaches us.

“Oh, yeah." I lift the notebook without looking at her as Jane takes my chin to wipe away the blood.

Juno takes it and hugs it against her chest. I thought that would be it and she would leave, but she just stands there. Jane and I share a look.

"Are you hurt, honey?" The blonde asks.

"Oh no... I just–" She watches me and suddenly her cheeks flush. Now I understand. I giggle.

"So do you like Remus?" I raise my eyebrows and Jane stops touching my face.

“Who's Remus?" Jane asks and Juno bites her lip.

"It's nobody. Please don't tell him,” She begs me and I laugh.

If I’m honest, thinking about Juno and Remus… I don't like that idea.

The last time I had a conversation with her, it was not kind at all, also, I don’t want Remus to be close to my disastrous family, he already has enough with me.

"I won't tell him, take it easy,” She nods and leaves.

Jane puts a little bandaid on my nose.

"Done, just be careful next time.”

"If there’s a next one, it’ll be worse, I assure you. Isis is right, whenever we play I get hurt– I broke my arm once and was only on the swings! Apollo and Balder decided it’d be a good idea to help me swing very high,” We both laugh.

"Can I ask you something?" She says.

“Sure?”

"You know that Remus guy,” I nod. "It's not to criticize you or tell you what to do, but don't you think it’d be good to help Juno with the boy?"

“No,” She raises her eyebrows.

"Just like that?”

“Yes," I think she expects something more. I roll my eyes. “Juno's not Remus’ type, they wouldn’t be a good couple.”

“Why're you so sure?" I sigh.

"Listen, I don't know what impression you have of Juno, here she’s always more serious and quiet, but at Hogwarts she’s different, everything worsened since... the accident in the summer." She shifts in her chair, obviously Apollo told her what happened.

“I don't know what’s going on in Juno's mind, I just know that they’re not good things and I’m not going to let those things happen to Remus. He’s…” I think about it for a few seconds and smile. “He’s become a good friend of mine and because of that, I want to protect him.”

"But Juno’s your sister?”

“All the more reason, I’m going to protect him from my own family. He doesn't need any more problems, Jane.” She finally sighs.

"Well, I'm not going to get into your business," I nod and suddenly she smiles. "Do you know who’s excited?" She lifts her blouse to expose her belly. “He's been kicking since he heard you.”

"Yes, this is scaring me, Jane," She laughs.

"If you don't come for your gifts, I'll keep them to myself!" I hear Isis scream. I don't wait any longer and run towards the huge Christmas tree where all the presents are.

–––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––––

After life's most awkward family reunion, in which it seemed like I didn't exist, they finally let me go back to my room with my Christmas presents. I sit down on the floor in front of my bed and put them close to me.

The first is Regulus' gift, a beautiful necklace, apparently gold, I smile. The next one was from Remus, which I open with a lot of emotion, it’s a red notebook, really nice, I open it and I find a note on the first page.

‘Here you can write our progress with the classes... or you can use it as a journal, you can do whatever you want, but I wrote what we’ve done in the last weeks, I hope you like it.

RL.’

I keep going and laugh when I find his notes, warnings and some muggle jokes, obviously explained. He’s really sweet, I can see the details and the dedication he had in doing it.

The following gifts are from relatives, with some notes to wish me luck with my marriage, some people I don’t even know –I’m sure they only want to get a place at the wedding. I roll my eyes. The last one I open is a small navy blue box, I open it and I find a pretty simple necklace along with a circular charm. I check it everywhere, but there’s no note. I don't give it much thought, but I decide to put it around my neck.

“Persephone," a thick voice scares me, I look up meeting my father at the door frame. I shrink into my place.

"Y-Yes?" I can't help but stutter.

"I think it's time to talk, come with me,” He doesn't wait for an answer and leaves my room. I get up and follow him.

We both head to his study. Upon entering, he locks the door, then walks to his desk and leans in front of it.

I bite the inside of my cheek when I see the room, I remember that I was always afraid to come here, so I told my dad that he should always have the curtains open, so that more light could come in, which he did. But now the entire room is dark except for the center, which is lit by the dim light of three candles.

My hands sweat and tremble uncontrollably, I can hear my heartbeat. He just watches me quietly for a few minutes.

"You should know that your marriage to Sirius is not a punishment for what happened a few months ago," for the first time since I returned I dare to look him directly in the eye.

"That's not true," I say in a weak voice. I clear my throat. "If it wasn't one, you would’ve made the news next year or even when I was in seventh grade, why now?"

"Dear Persephone, it's not all about you,” I raise my eyebrows at his words. A smile appears on his face, but it’s not the same as when he knows of some mischief of mine. That look, those gestures he makes when he is doing business, when he knows that the other person has no way out.

"Isn't my wedding about me?" I say louder in a moment of bravery. "You don't have to lie– No, wait, you already did that.” He raises an eyebrow.

“It's the only way to unite the Black and Singh families."

"I have better ideas.” Shut up, please.

"Your wedding is not the end of the world,” He says raising his voice.

"It is for me. You're going to ruin my life and Sirius's. We both want to choose whether we want to do it or not,” He laughs now.

"Do you think I had a choice with your mother, nor did the Blacks have it?"

“That's no excuse for us not having a choice.”

"You don't understand anything, silly girl"

"I won’t marry Sirius.”

"Yes you will!" He’s fast and I back up until I hit the wall. “I will not allow you to ruin the family name because of your tantrums. We’re doing you a favor, given what happened in the summer and the constant rebellion of Sirius, it is time for someone to put you in your place!” My eyes tear up. "This is your time to remedy your cowardice.” He moves away a little. I’m surprised at his words.

"Cowardice? Not wanting to kill a Muggle family, is that what you call cowardice? ”

"They are infe-"

"They are not!" I interrupt before he continues with the same sermon as always. "That family was innocent, I was and you didn’t mind taking their lives!" The memories come quickly.

That day in which nothing was different, until my brother Apollo and Isis abandoned their routines with their family to arrive at our house late at night. I remember that my father called me and I went down to the living room, the furniture was not there and everything was lit by candles and the flames of the fireplace.

"What's going on?" I asked. My whole family was gathered in the center, their bodies are covered in black robes.

"I want you to come closer, daughter," Says my father, raising his arms. I get closer until I'm in front of him. His hands touch my shoulders.

"Unfortunately, the dark lord is in a great hurry to gather his people, and we can't wait for you to turn seventeen, darling," He touches my cheek.

“Dark Lord?”

"Finally there’s someone with courage to put an order in the magical world,” adds my mum.

"We will explain later, now you must do something for me, would you do it?" I nodded. "That's my girl,” suddenly another black figure comes out from behind my father.

"This is Bartemius Crouch Jr." The man comes up with a sinister smile and takes my hand.

“It's a pleasure to meet you, Miss Singh," He says, then releases my hand and goes to a corner.

"Persephone, you must show Mr. Crouch that you’re worthy to be on the side of the Dark Lord."

"But... I- I don't- I don't know, dad," I say nervously.

"Don't worry, it's a simple thing, I'll be here.” Isis reaches out and holds out my wand. "Take it," I obey with my trembling hand.

Then they all stepped back to reveal three kneeling figures. My father guides me until I’m in front of them.

He holds up his wand and the cloth that covered their faces disappears. My breath cuts short and my eyes are wide, I try to back away, but my father avoids it by putting a hand on my lower back.

A man, a woman and an 8-year-old boy. The three wake up and when they notice the new location they begin to move, and try to speak, but the ties on their hands and feet and the cloth in their mouths prevent it.

"Crucio!" My father exclaims and the three of them screech in pain. The little boy is crying just like his mother.

I look at them with pure terror, what the fuck do they want me to do with them?

"What is this? Why are they here? Who are they, dad? ”

“Calm down, Persephone. This family–” He points out to them. “They are Muggles, do you remember what I have taught you about them?” I nod in  confusion. "Well, now you must show that we’re superior to them.”

“Wha– How?" My father stands behind me and whispers in my ear.

"Kill them.”

Taglist:

@treestarrrrrrrr @siriuslysirius1107 @thagreenmoon   @madmaiden2890 @bloodorangemoonlight   @ren-ela @avipshamitra​   @auroraawrites​  @findzelda @lizlil @siriusmuch @mey-rapp​ 

[rabidfirefoxfan]

Thor (1966) - Vol 175 -  Loki Comic Read Through

Classic Loki Masterpost:    Rating: Mod

Plot: Loki sends an army of Giants to attack Asgard and Thor fights them. Loki sneaks off to Odin’s room, stealing the Ring of Power and becomes the new King of Asgard. 

Favorite Moments:

Loki looks like a pissed off bull.

Thor and police stop a car robbery. Karnilla calls the Warriors Three and Balder, but besides butting heads, nothing happens. On their way back to Asgard, they notice a crap ton of Giants moving toward Asgard. Sif goes to Earth to bring Thor back to Asgard to deal with the impending invasion. Loki sends the Giants after Thor.then steals away to Odin’s Room to take control over Asgard.Odin is asleep and when Sif and Balder try to stop Loki, but Loki points out

Because Loki is Odin’s son no one has the authority to stop Loki from taking whatever Odin has and none of the guards stop him. Seems like a dumb rule to have. Princes aren’t just allow take Kings stuff just because they are Princes. Well, at least while the King is alive anyway, but even then there are ways around that too.

Well, Loki doesn’t want to kill Odin, only take a very powerful Ring. Anyone who wears this ring is King of Asgard and no one can question him. Why does Odin have this ring? Doesn’t Odin’s OP abilities make so no one, not even Thor, is stronger than him therefore meaning that he is king.

Move over Tesseract , there’s a new shiny object for Loki to fawn over.

Thor continues to fight the Giant army, but then hears word that Loki is now king of Asgard. To celebrate his new position, Loki wears this new outfit.

It’s green and purple. Somehow yellow and purple looks better, but Purple is royalty and now that Loki is King, i guess purple is more appropriate.

Just two notes. One, it looks like Loki is flipping everyone of Asgard off (which I guess he is in some way) Two, Loki Looks like Vincent Price throughout this era of comics.

Thor tries to rally Asgard against Loki rule but, because of the Ring, no one has the authority to stop him.

So Loki forces Thor to bow down to him. 

Long Live King Loki.

Yay, Loki Finally took over Asgard. I’m sure nothing will ever go wrong with this arrangement. I mean, it’s Loki. His plans always end well.

By the Way, why did Loki Assemble an Army? Odin was asleep and Loki could have just taken the ring at any time and none of the guards would have stopped him. Thor also doesn’t pay that close attention to Odin at all times so it’s not like Loki needed the distraction. I guess he wanted to watch Thor fight a bit before bowing before his new king.

Thoughts on Comic:

I didn’t really like this comic. Except at the end when Loki forces Thor to bow before him, Loki doesn’t get a lot of times to be a fun, proud villain. He mostly is bitching to everyone that he’s a prince and everyone should listen to him. Most of this comic is a waste of time. The car robbery is fun, I guess, but Karnilla and the Warriors three + Balder just reestablishes that Karnilla likes Balder, but not enough to become “Good.” The Giants are one big Red Herring because Loki’s plan doesn’t even end up using them outside of allowing Thor to talk about fighting them. Except for trying to resist’s Loki rule, Thor doesn’t get a lot of big melodramatic God moments.

Overall, it’s this comic feels like set-up for the next issue. Still, seeing Loki flipping off the audience is Great.

[celestial-vapidity]

So Don’t Let Go, Because I’m Afraid

Jeanne and Cereza talk after the events of Bayonetta 2. 

Author’s Note: Howdy y’all! Hope you’re all staying safe and healthy. Welcome to day two of Bayojeanne Week 2020! I’m so pleased with the positive feedback I received on yesterday’s fic and I only hope to receive more as the week goes on. Thank you so much! The prompt for today is ‘shadows’. Also posted on FF(https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13545757/1/So-Don-t-Let-Go-Because-I-m-Afraid) and AO3 (https://archiveofourown.org/works/23539525). Anyway, I hope you enjoy! WARNING: This fic contains mentions of past abuse and trauma.

“And you said ‘no, these demons will fall

You're so precious to us all’

And I said ‘I can't do this alone

I still need you to hold

So don't let go, because I'm afraid’”

I Exist I Exist I Exist by Flatsound

Cereza knew something was off with Jeanne. It was obvious. It shouldn’t have been surprising, considering that she was recently rescued from Inferno, and a desperate creep of a demon, but it seemed like more than that. She was determined to figure out what it was.

“Dearest?” She asked gently. The two of them were lying in bed, preparing to go to sleep. Jeanne, who was turned away from the dark-haired witch, grunted in response, seemingly half-asleep. Cereza snorted at her lack-luster reply, before continuing.

“How are you doing? I know it can’t be...easy. The whole ordeal with Inferno and Alraune...I just want to do whatever I can to make you feel better. I love you.” 

Cereza moved an arm to wrap around Jeanne’s front. She could feel the stiffening of her girlfriend’s frame and knew she had heard. She frowned in concern.

Jeanne hesitated before replying. “It’s not just that, Cereza. It was also...seeing him.”

It suddenly clicked for the older witch. Seeing Balder...Of course. That must have been painful for her. 

“Seeing him and knowing what he would end up doing to me. And not being able to do anything about it. That almost hurts more than the fact that my soul was nearly eaten by a demon. At least being eaten would be quick. Unlike the years I suffered under him.”

Jeanne’s voice was dry. Cereza knew she rarely cried. She had only seen it a few times in their time together, and it was almost always for someone else, instead of for herself. The white-haired witch sighed and rolled over to face her lover, her arm sliding off of her in the process.

“I know I can’t change the past. Well, I guess I could have. But I know it would have probably created yet another time loop for us to deal with. And...I couldn’t stand the thought of hurting you like that.”

“Jeanne, you-”

“Cereza, don’t deny it. I know you loved him before Aesir took him. Maybe even after too. He’s your father, you have every right. And I don’t have any right to take that from you.”

“But you were hurt! You were so badly hurt!” 

“And you weren’t? I saw what losing him did to you the first time.”

Cereza quieted at that for a moment, before continuing. “I don’t want this to be about me. I’m doing fine. Surprisingly fine. I got closure and answers as to why he did what he did. I want you to feel better now. What can I do to make that happen?”

Jeanne shut her eyes and sighed yet again. “Just hold me. Please?”

The short-haired witch obliged. “I love you. More than anything. You can talk to me if you want to.”

“I know. I will. I just need time. I love you too.”

[christinesficrecs]

Bottom Derek (Sterek) MasterList

This fic rec idea was shamelessly “borrowed” from qhuinn’s original bottom!derek list which is much older and sadly contains a ton of broken links now. I attempted to mesh her list with fics I love but it turned out to be a MUCH bigger project than anticipated. As most things with me are :p 

Anyways, here are 100 bottom!derek fics. The mature or explicit rating is implied for all the fics that follow. We can only hope that I did not post the same fic twice!

I Do Do You? by Captain_Loki. Explicit. 6540 words. Stiles and Derek wake up hung over and married in a hotel room in Las Vegas. It wouldn't be so bad if the year before their relationship hadn't fallen apart.

One Night Pancakes by literaryoblivion. Explicit. 5643 words. Derek loves his kids. He does. But… every once in a while he needs a break from them. It’s natural. It’s totally fine. He needs some “me” time occasionally. It’s allowed, okay?At least this is what he keeps telling himself when he drops the kids and their overnight bags off at his older sister Laura’s house.

Nine Times Out of Ten by lielabell. Explicit. 4613 words. Part 2 of the Mating Habbits series. Nine times out of ten, Stiles is the one being pushed back on the bed with his head tilted back to expose his neck. Nine times out of ten, Stiles’s legs are the ones that are spread, his hands are the ones that grip the sheets. Nine times out of ten, Stiles gasps and moans and arches up into Derek’s touch, Stiles’s thighs grip at Derek’s hips; Stiles’s feet lock together behind Derek’s back. Nine times out of ten, Stiles takes and takes and takes and loves every single second of it. But the tenth time … The tenth time is different.

Take my Twist with a Shout by toomuchgawking. Explicit. 2889 words. Derek thinks that Stiles might enjoy topping the first time they have sex. Stiles is a little blindsided by how much he agrees.

Anatomy of a Werewolf by idyll. Explicit. 1533 words. Written for a prompt by descendingspiral on Tumblr, who asked for: Stiles needs to focus on studying for his Anatomy class. Derek volunteers his body.

Bank Windows by Moonbeam. Explicit. 2236 words. All human banking AU smut. Derek is a bank manager and Stiles is an irate customer. Best way to solve the problem? Sex against a window!

First Snow by Moonbeam. Explicit. 26341 words. In the future Stiles and Derek finally get together. One night Stiles wakes Derek up because it is snowing, they spend the following week enjoying the snow like Stiles did with his mum as Derek and Stiles try to move further in their relationship as the past keeps coming back to make it harder.

Melting in your vice dreams by hito. Explicit. 7445 words. Written last month for derekstiles. Scott and Stiles accidentally discover Derek’s secret New York career in porn.

I’m betting this wasn’t beta tested by dancinbutterfly. Explicit. 7870 words. Derek is thrown into a violent heat in the wake of Lydia and Peter’s actions at the end of Party Guessed. Debilitated by his own needs, Derek reaches out to Stiles, the only person he wants and can hope to trust.

Hyper heart alone by hito. Explicit. 34570 words. When Stiles returns home to help his father recover from an injury, he discovers that things have changed somewhat in his absence: Derek is working closely with Stiles’ father, around the house and underfoot, generally annoying and disconcerting Stiles with his presence. Well, Stiles isn’t sure you could call all the sex they end up having annoying, but he isn’t really willing to call it anything else, either.

The ETA from you to me by Rawren (Deshonanana). Explicit. 105038 words. In which Derek drives a tow truck and Stiles is the weekend dispatcher who attempts to woo him with his lack of a brain-to-mouth filter and affinity for run-on sentences.

Hypothetically: Wolfsbane by JenNova. Explicit. 7086 words. “So,” Stiles says, resting his elbows on his knees and settling his chin in his hands. “Hypothetical then: one of you guys gets dosed with some sex wolfsbane – how do we deal with it?”

I’ll just entertain myself by entanglednow. Explicit. 2942 words. Stiles is really bad at sitting still once he’s got an idea in his head.

Muérdago by starbolin. Explicit. 17674 words. “Mistletoe was often considered a pest that kills trees and devalues natural habitats, but was recently recognized as an ecological keystone species, an organism that has a disproportionately pervasive influence over its community. In Norse myth, an arrow made of mistletoe was the only thing that was able to kill the god Balder. The goddess Frigg had asked all other things to vow not to hurt Balder, but she had ignored the mistletoe because it seemed too small to be dangerous.”

Happy Endings by kototyph. Explicit. 2761 words. Stiles is a masseur, and very good at what he does. Derek was not expecting this.

Hypothetically: Potion by JenNova. Explicit. Sex Pollen. 9415 words. “Potion,” Stiles says, his eyes clearing as he focuses on Derek. “In a cup.”

This Time With Feeling by Crimson1. Explicit. 36132 words. “Derek Hale, if you refuse to learn from your past…then you will be doomed to repeat it.” In which Derek is turned into a 16-year-old and has to stay with Stiles until they figure out how to turn him back. Eventual slash and smut, set post season 2, semi-AU.

Won’t You Be My Mate? by Unloyal_Olio. 6228 words. Derek could just ask, but he’s not very good at that. Better to demonstrate.

Oh What These Headlights Have Seen by pterawaters. Explicit.2820 words. Derek’s boss is spoiled, demanding, and far too attractive. Or, the one where Derek is a mechanic and Stiles owns lots of cars.

Not Enough Postage by ecarian. Explicit. 5247 words. Derek doesn’t know how to ask for things in bed.

A Californian Werewolf in New York by dancinbutterfly & knight_tracer. Explicit. 16314 words. When Derek finally realizes that there’s nothing left for him in Beacon Hills, he goes back to New York, gets a life, falls in love and finds his home. (A podfic/fanfic collaboration)

You Make My Heart Beat (Faster) by lady_ragnell. Explicit. 2611 words. Stiles listens to Derek’s heart. Warnings: light medical kink, brief references to violence and past character death.

The Skies Above Are Blue by Trelkez  Mature. . AU. 95258 words. Derek is a wedding DJ. Stiles just happens to go to a lot of weddings.

It’s a break, not a vacation by dancinbutterfly. Explicit. Sequel to A Californian Werewolf In New York. WIP. 4296 words. The anniversary of the fire sneaks up on Derek. So he follows his instinct and leaves Manhattan to get to the one thing he really needs to survive the worst week of the year, Stiles. Unfortunately, that puts him in Beacon Hills - the worst place he could possibly be at the worst possible time. Yeah, Derek didn’t really think this through.

Exceeds Expectations by Captain_Loki. Explicit. 1411 words. Stiles had had greater let downs in his life…But losing his virginity to Derek Hale was still ranked atop a decently long list.

The Way I feel by elisera. Explicit. 10332 words. “Okay, go away,” Stiles says loudly to make sure that Scott and Erica can hear him over Derek’s growling. His hands are so slick with blood, he keeps fumbling his keys, barely managing to unlock the Jeep and get out his emergency duffel. “Leave him the fuck alone for a bit.”“We’ll go and take care of the corpse,” Scott says, taking the duffel out of his hands and unzipping it for him. He holds out a towel to Stiles, looks him up and down. “You’re sure you’re fine?”“It’s not my blood,” Stiles snaps, wiping down his hands, arms. Fuck, even his face and throat are slick with it and he really, really wants it off. Derek keeps circling them, eyes fixed on Stiles and his body’s still trying to shift back onto four feet, the bones and muscles bulging outwards against his skin and Stiles has no idea why Derek’s freaking out this badly.

Hunger by bigboobedcanuck. Explicit. 2918 words. There are no vampires in Beacon Hills. Until now. “Let him go.” Derek manages to keep his voice steady, although he’s aiming for cold and detached. “I’m the one you want. He’s just a human. What can he do for you?”

Thank you for my sex life by wearing_tearing. Explicit. 6630 words. Later that week when Stiles gifts Scott with the biggest chocolate cake he can find - the words thank you for my sex life written across it - he can’t help but think that maybe he should listen to Scott more often.

Like Falling by wearing_tearing. Mature. 13191 words. In which Laura kills herself on the five-year anniversary of the Hale fire, Stiles convinces Derek to take him on a road trip, some things feel like falling, and everyone gets more than they bargained for.

Not Your Typical Alpha by halcyon1993 9904 words.  Derek is an unusual alpha. He doesn't want some omega to hang off his knot but to hang off of someone else's. The only problem is that no other alpha is willing. Until the new dildo he orders is mistakenly delivered to his neighbour.

Track My Every Movement by derekstilinski. Explicit. 6660 words. Derek has had a lot of problems with his past, especially centered around sex. Over the years, Stiles has helped him through so much, and this is a big test of everything they’ve worked on.

Now Your Smile Comes Over in Your Voice by talktowater. Explicit. 19021 words. Part two of Love Comes in Spurts series.

What you do to me by verity. Explicit. 1566 words. The first time they had sex, it was the full moon, and things went very quickly from Derek talking to Stiles as Stiles flipped through the grimoire that Derek had brought down to Davis to Stiles rimming Derek on the bed, cupping his balls until Derek came all over the sheets, half wolfed-out, dick untouched, and deeply confused.

Jinx Removing by DevilDoll. Explicit. 6271 words. "Derek wished he would sit down or take his jacket off or something; anything that would indicate he was going to stay for more than a few minutes.“ This is an alternate universe version of the apartment scene in my story Love, Like a Sentence of Death.

I Wish That I Could See You Soon by talktowater. Explicit. 23606 words. Derek Hale is one half of indie duo Girls and the Dogs. He spent his late teens drinking and fucking his way around small clubs over the world, but now he is sober, sick of touring, and has rules. Or one rule at least. No hook ups on tour. When the guy with the impossibly tight t-shirt who calls himself Stiles follows him back to his bus one night after a show in London, he’s in no danger of breaking his rules because as Stiles quite categorically states, he is straight. Right… good luck with that Derek…

The Great Pretender by talktowater. Explicit. 45275 words. Stiles is the new kid at Beacon Hills High, class of 1958 and he’s trying to make an impression. Derek can’t figure out why this kid is so set on making such a bad one.

Absence Makes the Dick Grow Fonder by tylerfucklin. Explicit. 4191 words. Stiles frowned, “…do you want to hang up?” This time, Stiles could hear the hitch in Derek’s breath, and it was enough to give him the courage to ask, “do you want me to tell you what I’m doing?” “what are you doing?” Derek croaked lowly. There was the sound of a door closing on the other line, followed by the creak of bed springs. “Fucking into my hand,” Stiles blurted with a groan, his body getting hot just thinking about Derek lying on his bed back in Beacon Hills and touching himself, “thinking of you.”

All the Way to the Bone by otter. Explicit. 6514 words. Stiles wanted Derek to be happy, and he wanted Derek to be safe, and these things were as obvious and visible as the tattoos on Stiles’ skin, the shapes that Derek could trace now with his fingers without even looking.

DTF by Captain_Loki. Explicit. 2156 words. It’s nearly midnight when Derek gets the text, phone buzzing against the mattress beside him. Horny: DTF?

Navigating This Space Between Us by Omni. 9641 words.  Derek gets forced to watch some sci-fi show about a surly, secret prince and the sarcastic young spaceship captain hired to aid him on his quest. Strangely enough, he finds himself hooked on it. So much so that he's even drawn into the fandom. There he meets a popular fanfic author with an oddly endearing attitude, and he gets rather smitten. Maybe this mystery guy could actually help get him to stop pining for Stiles...

Tell me how all this, and love too, will ruin us by queerly_it_is. Explicit. 12381 words. Derek doesn’t get why he likes it so much. It’s just not – he hadn’t expected to need this. Not from Stiles. Not from anyone, ever. He doesn’t do this. Except he does, now. Because it’s for Stiles, and Derek – fuck, he likes it too.

with metal on our tongues (we’ll be dressed in rags) by Rena. Explicit. 18848 words. Double-oh agents are a piece of work; Stiles knew that before he became MI6’s new quartermaster. It’s cool, he survived Lydia in college, he can deal with stubborn, reckless, trigger-happy operatives. Derek Hale, though, is definitely trying to live up to his predecessor’s legacy and make Stiles’ life more difficult. AKA the one where Derek is 007 and Stiles is Q and they bitch and angst their way to a Happy Ending.

Dwells Amidst Your Walls by the_ragnarok. Explicit. 11441 words. Scott accidentally sells Stiles’ virginity on Craigslist. (Derek wins.)

Peer Pressure by betp. Teen and Up Audiences. 1615 words. Stiles squirms under the weight of Chris’ arm. "Can you let me go now? I have shit to do." "He has shit to do,” Chris tells the group, grinning. “Very busy, very popular. Can’t even answer a simple question, he’s too good for that. I hope he knows what we do to kids who’re too good to talk to us. In which Chris is fancied some kind of maligned star in Sterek’s union, and is thwarted by being above the influence.

All The Things I Learned by JenNova. Explicit. 2642 words. Kate Argent taught Derek two things. Never trust anyone outside his own species. Sex is power.

If I Had A Wish (Or Even A Choice) by ladyblahblah. Explicit. 3892 words. Stiles has a preference for written porn. He also has a thing for Derek’s voice. So when Derek finds his erotica collection, this is clearly either the best or the worst thing that’s ever happened to him. 

What You Think You Know, You Don't by Brego_Mellon_Nin. Explicit. 4501 words. Derek is in the kitchen when he hears the teasing start up again. He can feel his wolf roaring under his skin, wanting to defend their mate, but he stays put. Stiles has asked him to let it go, so he will.

The Pickup Line I Deserve by hannah_baker. 4227 words. Derek Hale has a type: tall, lanky, pale, brunette, passive. Stiles Stilinski is nearly all of those things - but not quite.Or, The Time Derek Hale's One Night Stand Was More Than He Bargained For.

Just Act Normal by zosofi. Explicit. 78677 words. If someone had told Stiles back in high school that he would be an Oscar winning actor by the time he turned 25, he would’ve probably told Scott to punch them. The thing is, though…they would’ve been right. Which makes returning to Beacon Hills, center of all that is supernatural and better left avoided, all the more awkward.

My Regrets Are Few series by secondstar. Mature-Explicit. Around 7000 words total. There was no way that Stiles was rolling over for Derek Hale, absolutely no way. He didn’t care if he was the Alpha, because Stiles was no werewolf.

You Don’t See Straight by annber. Explicit..174981 words. Stiles finds himself in a secret werewolf community to participate in a mating run. Sterek happens. Side OC’s.

Oh, The Places We’ll Go Series by KeriArentikai. Explicit. 18934 words.The five friends sat at a table in the student union building, laughing over their fast-food lunches."Okay," said Jackson, "which prof would you bang?""Hale," Erica, Isaac and Stiles all said together. No one was surprised at their answer.

Gravity’s Got Nothing on You by zosofi. Explicit. 84031 words. The one where the Hale fire never happened, Laura is a nosy sister, Derek is desperate, and Stiles is the only one that can help.

Stick Around by siny. Explicit. 9245 words. Stiles and Derek are always arguing about stupid silly things, but it gets worse every time Stiles gets hurt. or The first time that Derek admits that he loves Stiles. Will Stiles ever admit that he loves him back?

Stolen by Firenation. Explicit. 99099 words. Derek first meets Stiles when he’s fifteen years old, just after the fire, and realises that he’s his mate. You can picture the kind of joy that follows.

Enemy Lines by qhuinn. Explicit. 149179 words..This is the story of werewolf Derek Hale and human Stiles Stilinski: two people who grew up in the same town but completely different worlds, their realities split by the war between men and wolves. Years later when Derek returns to Beacon Hills, he does it as Alpha of a military pack on a mission to capture those responsible for the region’s resistance. With his main objective, Sheriff Stilinski, out of sight, he settles for the next best thing: his son, Stiles. Neither of them suspects they’ll need to trust each other if they want to make it out this alive.

First Date by Onlymystory. Mature. 15125 words. Stiles has Danny set him up with a date. But Derek’s reaction ensures the night ends very differently.

Shaken and Stirred series by secondstar. Explicit. 15350 words. Stiles is the voice in his ear and the man in the glasses behind the computer screen. At the end of the day, he’s the only one Agent Eta trusts.

The Sweetest of Words (Have the Bitterest Taste) by Omni. Explicit. 9902 words. Five or so years after the show. Stiles is in college, and finds himself getting stalked by a succubus. Derek’s determined that the best way to thwart her is to prove that he and Stiles are madly in love. It’s not really as much of an act as either seems to think.

Bubbles by always_addicted. Explicit. 58195 words. Stiles knew he was in trouble the minute his father sat next to him with *that* look on his face. But he didn’t expect the words “Governor Hale’s son” and “arranged marriage” to come spilling out of the Sheriff’s mouth. But really, he should’ve known it would be bad. He just couldn’t imagine anything worse.

Never Cage A Rabid Wolf by tty9. Explicit. 49734 words. Stiles is sent to prison, and guess who his cellmate is?

Your Majesty by grimm. Explicit. 22291 words. It wasn’t like he was a pro or whatever, but like any teenage boy he’d spent a lot of time jerking off, and there were a lot of people on the internet that liked watching that sort of thing. And while the idea of doing actual porn - like, porn with another person’s dick in his ass porn - kind of made him uncomfortable, jerking off by himself in front of a camera sounded okay. If you’re good at something, never do it for free, right? Based off a prompt asking for Stiles as a cam boy and Derek lusting after his hot virgin bod.

You Set My Soul Alight by Captain_Loki. Explicit. 5135 words. Derek finds Stiles’ toys…basically Stiles + Derek + Dildos.

Plus One by Moosey. 44838 words. “Dude, I can’t show up solo to my ex-girlfriends wedding. I can’t do that,” Scott stressed, his face arranged in an expression that was almost comically anguished, like one of those weird, sad-face, tragic drama masks.“So we find you a date,” Stiles shrugged, as though it was no big deal. Scott was adorable, in reasonably good shape, and probably the best guy Stiles had ever known, or would ever know. He wouldn’t have any real issues with getting a girl.“Stiles, it’s in two weeks. Two weeks. How do I find a girl willing to date me, and come abroad with me to my exes wedding, in two weeks?!”

Finger Bangin' by Hatteress. Explicit. 3464 words. Stiles starts bringing drumsticks to Pack gatherings, sitting himself on the edge of the group to tap out maddening rhythms on his knees as the werewolves train. The first time he’d pulled them out, spinning one stick in a showy twirl between his fingers, Derek had actually staggered a little, missed a basic move, and ended up on his back blinking up at fucking Jackson, of all people.

the one where Derek gets high by nighimpossible. Explicit. 1167 words. What it says on the tin. Derek needs to find a way to relax, and Stiles is more than willing to assist.

his descent was like nightfall by nighimpossible. Explicit. 2328 words. Derek is drowning. The creature that calls itself Stiles drags him ashore. (nymph!Stiles)

Special Collections by hannah_baker. Explicit. 16423 words. Stiles Stilinski is a senior in college working on his thesis. Derek Hale is the grumpy (though inhumanely attractive) special collections librarian. All they needed was a common interest to spark a friendship that becomes more than either of the bargained for.

Hold Your Breath and Count to Ten by secondstar. Explicit. 6611 words. Stiles is the voice in his ear and the man in the glasses behind the computer screen. At the end of the day, he’s the only one Agent Eta trusts.

Bogarted by HalfFizzbin. Mature. 3126 words. Alternate Title: "Dick Failwolf, Private Eye." (Or, Derek’s hit with a Film Noir curse, which forces him to narrate his own life in luridly-detailed prose.)

Politics of a Scandal by qhuinn. Explicit. 17097 words. The one where Stiles is the hottest new media consultant in the business and Laura Hale desperately needs his services. She’s about to launch a campaign for Governor of California and her brother, Derek, is a media nightmare waiting to happen.

You Might Just Find You Get What You Need by TWCooper. Explicit. 11254 words. Derek is one of the highest earning escorts at Peter’s Menagerie, where the roster of beautiful men and women are ready and waiting to give you everything you want. When Lydia calls begging him to cover for her with their biggest client he isn’t expecting to find himself in the hotel room of Stiles Stilinski, genius and billionaire founder of premier social networking site FriendSpace. What starts as a simple job providing companionship soon has Derek struggling with his own desires. Feelings that his profession has forced him to lock away come to the surface as he risks losing himself to his latest client. Sometimes what you want is what you really need.

Finally Know The Difference by GotTheSilver. Explicit. 12512 words. In which Stiles is working at the bar his dad owns and Derek Hale returns to Beacon Hills with a guitar slung over his shoulder.

One-handed Typing by Omni. Explicit. 6857 words. Stiles makes a cyber sex buddy who supposedly looks like a dark-haired version of his favorite character on his favorite show. Which, coincidentally enough, is also what Derek looks a hell of a lot like.

Alpha Complex by Hatteress. Explicit.  3354 words. “Hold still,” Stiles says, hand clamping down on the back of Derek’s neck to keep him from turning and it’s laughable, really – the thought that that would be enough to hold him. Except it is. Because Stiles’ fingers are gripping the nape of Derek’s neck, pressure sure and hard and Derek- Derek can’t fucking breathe.

Can’t Stand the Heat by LuminescentLily. Explicit. 14149 words. Still hopelessly in love and too dense to realize they both feel the same, Stiles and Derek have to try and deal with their feelings as hunters decend on Beacon Hills and Derek goes into heat at a most inopportune time.

A Mating Moon by unpossible. Explicit.  words. 37354. “Hey, Scott, so, I uh, there’s this amazingly hot guy and I’m uh, gonna spend the weekend with him but, you know, just to be careful, I’m sending you his picture, so if by some terrible chance my bloated corpse shows up sometime Monday, just, y’know pass this along to the authorities.” He pauses. “Uh. Kidding?” and then hangs up with a rush of air. “That is the worst voicemail in the history of voicemails,” Derek says.

Make A Little Noise by JenNova 1757 words.  So the first time Stiles got Derek on his back, worked him open and pressed inside with the long exhale of a perfect fit, he wasn't expecting the sound. Sure when they exchange handjobs, or blowjobs, or any other kind of orgasm, Derek can get a little vocal – sometimes even demanding in a hesitant sort of way – but the deep moans, the sharp grunts, the cursing and the constant use of Stiles' name was not expected.

Mauve by bleepobleep 7380 words.  It’s been ten years since he’s seen Derek Hale, but Stiles would recognize that ass anywhere.

Kintsugi by artemis69 7866 words. Derek is too big, and strong, and a werewolf. He knows perfectly well what men are and aren’t allowed to be.Stiles would beg to differ.In which there are pretty boys, flowers, panties, glitter, and Stiles gives a heartfelt fuck you to the concept of toxic masculinity.

Married at First Glance by WonderWolf 63558 words. Married at First Glance gives its participants seven weeks. Seven weeks, starting when they meet and marry their “perfect match”, to decide if they want to stay married or divorce.For Stiles and Derek though, the challenge lies within trying to pretend that they don’t absolutely hate each other’s guts. When you’re married to a werewolf who dislikes humans, however, this can get a little tricky.But the sweet, sweet cash reward at the end will be worth it. Right?

Getting To The Bottom Of It by KaliopeShipsIt 17031 words. When Deputy Stiles Stilinski's new boyfriend Derek refuses to bottom for him, even though Stiles is one-hundred percent sure he secretly loves it, Stiles draws the wrong conclusions and their relationship implodes spectacularly.Little does he realize that Derek's refusal has nothing to do with toxic masculinity hang-ups or his trust in Stiles and everything to do with the fact that he's hiding two very furry secrets.Cue kidnapping, rogue Omegas, and life-changing revelations.

Something More by kaistrex (weishen) 19148 words.  When Derek and Stiles stumbled into a friends with benefits relationship purely by accident, they weren’t expecting it would one day save their asses when a threat from Derek’s past comes knocking. All they need to do is pretend to really be in love to avoid an arranged marriage agreed to years ago with a pact of blood. Considering they hadn’t bothered setting up boundaries when the ‘benefits’ first started, it’s no surprise that the lines begin to blur and Derek’s eyes are eventually opened to a truth he hadn’t been ready to face.

The Unicorn In Me by Emela 18570 words.  Derek touches a Unicorn and it doesn't try to kill him, despite the fact he is no longer a virgin. When Peter tells the pack about Kate, Stiles makes it his mission to give Derek the kind of relationship he deserves.

Moved on from Whispers by wishingonalightningbolt 5346 words. He’s not dumb. Out of everyone in the school, Derek is second in grades only to Lydia Martin, and the only reason Stiles is third is because he’s taking more APs than Derek, so his grades are suffering the slightest bit. That’s why Derek knows, when Stiles arches an eyebrow at him, why what he said was so incredibly dumb.Stiles didn’t break into Lydia Martin’s upstairs bathroom to take a piss. He broke into Lydia Martin’s upstairs bathroom while Derek was in it, because—because of reasons.

Cornerstone by Vendelin 83738 words.  Suffering from PTSD, ex-Marine Derek Hale moves back to Beacon Hills to open a bookshop and find a calmer life. That’s where he meets Stiles, completely by accident. Stiles is talkative, charming and curious. Somehow, despite the fact that he’s blind, he’s able to read Derek like no one else.

my heart’s been offline by thepsychicclam 58893 words. 31/M/New York. Rich, lays in bed all day, likes to read (aka Derek Hale, son of an Oscar winning actress, brother of one obnoxious reality star and one rebellious fashion designer, hates the paparazzi so much he's a recluse)26/M/California. Boring office job, likes to read (aka Stiles Stilinski, co-owner of a 100 acre organic farm with his dad and two best friends, writer of obits for a newspaper, has absolutely no life)Or, where Derek and Stiles meet online, and Stiles has no clue Derek's part of a famous family.

Muffins As A Declaration Of Intent by JenNova 3731 words. “Top or bottom?” Stiles asks, off to Derek's right.“Bottom,” Derek says automatically, not really looking at him. “Wait, what?”

Stand Here At The Edge Of Something New by Chiomi 3233 words.  This is Stiles’ last night of freedom before he’s married to a man he hasn’t seen in over a decade - not even photos, not even Facebook. He intends to make the most of it.

The One Where He Pitches And Catches by mikkimouse 4272 words. Derek entered the conference room, spotted the table with "M. P. Stilinski" on it, and stopped short.Oh fuck.It most definitely was not going to be fine.Sitting on the other side of the table was the most attractive man Derek had ever seen, with whiskey-colored eyes and pale skin with dark moles speckled across his jawline, moles Derek was very familiar with because he'd spent two hours last night drunk out of his mind and licking them.

You Saw Me Standing Alone 43947 words.  A pack of alpha werewolves is burning a war path through Beacon Hills; Stiles shouldn’t have the luxury of trying to get laid.

Versus by secondstar 94521 words.  At age nineteen, Stiles Stilinski was the next big thing, according to The Guardian. It was surreal, not being able to turn on Sky Sports without hearing his name mentioned along with the names of players he grew up idolizing. Stiles couldn’t believe that this was his life.

Stomping Stereotypes by LadyDrace 2518 words.  Derek and Stiles have been dating for a while, and they've finally decided that they're ready for sex. There's only one tiny issue, and Derek has a little trouble bringing it up...

Booty Call by dragon_temeraire 1670 words.  Derek really needs to get fucked, and he knows just who to call.

A Second Chance at First Impressions by Cobrilee 7042 words.  Derek grew up with the world's most embarrassing soulmark, which is honestly not the best first impression his soulmate could make. Then he meets the guy, and all of a sudden the soulmark doesn't matter quite so much after all.

our lives are changing lanes by grimm 47537 words. There's a lot of screaming going on inside the first house Stiles visits. He isn't really worried, because it sounds like kids, but then the door opens and hi, says his dick, because the dude in front of him is gorgeous, built like a god with a face like thunder. Stiles wants to lick that solid jaw line. Hold the fuck on, says his cop brain, because the dude's got kids hanging all over him; one's on his back, skinny legs looped around his waist, and another two hanging off one arm, toes barely brushing the ground. There's a tubby toddler clinging to his leg like a koala, and he's got a baby tucked into the crook of the one arm that doesn’t have kids hanging off it. Stiles' mouth drops open."How many of those kids did you kidnap?" he asks before he can wrangle his brain into submission.The man gives him a look that says what the fuck is wrong with you and snaps, "You think I'd subject myself to this on purpose?""Oooh," says one of the kids hanging off his arm. "I'm telling Mom."

Sense of Home by siny 53067 words. Home can be a place, but it can also be a person.After the events with the Nemeton, Stiles starts suffering the consequences of their sacrifice. A journey he attempts to make on his own, but only becomes worse with every step he takes. In the process he seeks comfort in an unexpected place and it draws him toward an unexpected person.

Pack Up; Don’t Stray by the_deep_magic 55220 words.  Werewolves are an enslaved underclass, collared and tagged by human masters. Detective Stilinski’s on duty the night they bring in an untagged stray.

Advanced Vocabulary by wangler 4425 words. “Why do you like me?” Derek asks as he folds his shirt and drops it onto Stiles’ computer chair.“For your body,” Stiles says.

swallow me down raw, like you mean it by bleepobleep 7789 words.  Derek isn’t quite sure what to do, but he can’t look away from the way Stiles’ mouth moves while he talks, and then Stiles’ shirt rides up a little with a particular wild gesture, revealing an expanse of pale skin. The comment I have these in red reverberates in his mind, and now Derek is frozen, imagining the man before him clad in nothing but a pair of lacy red panties.

[forthegothicheroine]

Kamigami no Asobi, Episode 8: Love Triangle of Doom

When last we left our cast, the gods were throwing a COMPLETELY inappropriate Christmas festival, Balder had proved that he had a dangerous jealous streak, Loki wasn’t sure whether he wanted Balder or Yui or both, and Yui just wanted everyone to get along.  

A love gone wrong, all right! Every year they have this fight!

- Hermes, “Hadestown”

Balder and Loki are continuing their fight from last episode, with Loki feeling that he’s been cast aside in favor of a new girlfriend, but also hinting that something bad will happen if Balder gives in to his feelings.  But enough of that plot-important stuff!  We have a festival to watch!  Yui helps man a couple booths, which gives Thoth the perfect opportunity to push her up against the wall of one.  As you do.

Yui tries to avoid Balder seeking her out by going over and hanging out with the Greek pantheon.  Hades and Dionysus are selling plants they’ve grown (don’t buy any pomegranates, Yui!) while Apollo has made terrifying life size Santa sculptures.  Why???  Saint Nicholas is a saint!  Opposed to you and your kind!  Is Apollo trying to dilute the power of Christianity by making Saint Nicholas into a sellable item, and a terrifying one at that?

Thoth is selling mummies, which seems rather insensitive of him.  At least they’re just dolls.

But Yui can’t avoid the Norse pantheon forever.  Thor ditches his friends at the first possible opportunity, leaving Loki to warn Yui away from Balder yet again.  But it’s more than just your typical “I’m beggin’ of you, please don’t take my man”- it’s an ominous warning that she and Balder will hurt each other, and that she’s not safe around him.  Balder picks this moment to walk in and throw a coldly jealous fit that Loki must want Yui all to himself.

Balder calls Yui “-sama” which I guess is the boy version of calling someone “senpai” and basically abducts her.  When they are alone in the woods, he demands to know why she can’t see what he feels for her.  He tells her he’s only ever felt this way about one other person- Loki- but he won’t give her up even to him.  He gets all grabby as she struggles, but luckily Loki shows up, which is a phrase I never thought I would say.

Balder says he’d rather kill Yui than see her with someone else and then...he goes super saiyan.  Sort of.  He glows and floats and light shoots everywhere destroying stuff.  I guess it’s not super saiyan so much as apocalypse maiden?  I’m not sure what the trope here is.  Anyway. Loki tries to protect Yui and talk Balder down even as he’s being cut by deadly bolts of light, and eventually Balder faints and becomes amnesiac in response to Loki’s unconditional love.

Poor Yui.  She’s seen some shit.

Loki explains that Balder is metaphysically unstable, and tends to magically flip out and hurt people when his emotions are up, and that’s why he tried to break them up.  Normally I would tell Yui not to believe a word out of Loki’s mouth, but he seems to be telling the truth.  He also tells Yui that he likes her, which, dude.  Pick a better moment.

Loki further tells Yui that he feels a special bond to Balder because he was the only one who would accept him when people knew he was a jotun.  Isn’t it supposed to be Odin he has that relationship with?  Whatever, if I start picking at mythology here I’ll be at it all day.  But one day, when Loki was being bullied, Balder basically exploded and killed all the bullies, with no memory of it after the fact.

Back in the present, Balder wakes up all sweet and forgetful and not knowing where Loki’s injuries came from.  He asks Loki if he loves Yui, and Loki hems and haws before finally saying no, avoiding Balder’s eyes when he says it.  

Apollo ends the festival by setting off floating lanterns, Balder reconciles with Loki and Yui, and Thor watches the three of them like he’d rather be dead than be party to any of this.

And in private, Loki vows to kill Balder.  Dun dun DUN!

Ragnarok Clock: 

We’ve got Balder the apocalypse maiden, and Loki vowing to kill him!  Ragnarok is on the way!

Where is Odin? During this episode, Odin threw a party where he insulted the rest of the pantheon, but it just wasn’t the same without Loki doing it.

Team __: Team Loki, ultimate love martyr.

Does Thoth push Yui up against a wall?  Yes, and also some random student he’s trying to sell mummy dolls to!

[liskantope]

I’ve just reread my collection of political articles written by H. L. Mencken, in the book A Carnival of Buncombe: Writings on Politics. These articles span early 1920 to late 1936, over five presidential elections.

Below are a few of the passages I found the most interesting, as a glimpse into American political culture during this period (although Mencken is overtly snobbish and somewhat bigoted -- far from an objective observer -- and seems remarkably obtuse about some pretty obvious things).

[This turned out long-ish. For me, the most interesting passage is the last one I quoted actually, although I’m not really sure if any of my followers would be that interested in any of it and this is for my own note-keeping as much as anything else.

After living abroad for a while, I’ve become increasingly interested in what is unique about American culture and common American mentalities, and it’s interesting to see the following musing from a century ago:

It seems to me that this fear of ideas is a peculiarly democratic phenomenon, and that it is nowhere so horribly apparent as in the United States, perhaps the nearest approach to an actual democracy yet seen in the world. It was Americans who invented the curious doctrine that there is a body of doctrine in every department of thought that every good citizen is in duty bound to accept and cherish; it was Americans who invented the right-thinker. The fundamental concept, of course, was not original. The theologians embraced it centuries ago, and continue to embrace it to this day. It appeared on the political side in the Middle Ages, and survived in Russia into our time. But it is only in the United States that it has been extended to all departments of thought. It is only here that any novel idea, in any field of human relations, carries with it a burden of obnoxiousness, and is instantly challenged as mysteriously immoral by the great masses of right-thinking men. It is only here, so far as I have been able to make out, that there is a right way and a wrong way to think about the beverages one drinks with one’s meals, and the way children ought to be taught in the schools, and the manner in which foreign alliances should be negotiated, and what ought to be done about the Bolsheviki.

- from “Bayard vs. Lionheart”, July 26th, 1920

On President Harding’s inaugural address (this, like many other things, makes me wonder what Mencken would have made of Trump):

I rise to pay my small tribute to Dr. Harding. Setting aside a college professor or two and half a dozen dipsomaniacal newspaper reporters, he takes the first place in my Valhalla of literati. That is to say, he writes the worst English that I have ever encountered. It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean-soup, of college yells, of dogs barking idiotically through endless nights. It is so bad that a sort of grandeur creeps into it. It drags itself out of the dark abysm (I was about to write abscess!) of pish, and crawls insanely up the topmost pinnacle of post. It is rumble and bumble. It is flap and doodle. It is balder and dash.

- from “Gamlielese”, March 7th, 1921

At the risk of being redundant, here is Mencken’s comment on the lack of defined policy differences between the two major parties as they existed in 1923:

Both [major political parties] have lost their old vitality, all their old reality; neither, as it stands today, is anything more than a huge and clumsy machine for cadging jobs. They do not carry living principles into their successive campaigns; they simply grab up anything that seems likely to make votes. The old distinctions between them have all faded out, and are now almost indiscernible. The Democrats are just as hot for centralization as the Republicans, and just as friendly towards a protective tariff; they stand together on the money question; there is no choice between them on the question of foreign policy; they are both wet and both dry.

The only reality that remains is their division on sectional lines. In the South the morons still vote the straight Democratic ticket. But even this brand begins to wear off. We have seen Maryland and Tennessee take to the fence; we have even seen some wobbling in Virginia and Texas. The time may come, and it may be soon, when the solid South will fall to pieces. Out of the wreck, I venture to believe, a new alignment of parties will come, and it will be based, not upon outworn traditions and shibboleths, but upon genuine differences of opinion. What those differences of opinion will be I do not risk prophecying, but it would not surprise me at all if one great party advocated the inspection and control of bootleggers by rigid Federal legislation, and the other, clinging to the tattered remains of local self-government, advocated licensing them by the commune.

- from “Next Year’s Struggle”, June 11th, 1923

Mencken’s (rather lofty and prejudiced) perception of cultural differences between rural and urban America and how they play into differing attitudes towards Prohibition (the Volstead Act):

Prohibition is essentially a yokel idea. It mirrors alike the farmer’s fear of himself and his envy of city men. Unable to drink at all without making a hog of himself, he naturally hates those who can. When a city man goes on a grand drunk, the police take charge of him humanely and he is restrained from doing any great damage. The worst that happens to him is that his wife beats him and he loses his job. But when a farmer succumbs to the jug his unmilked cows burst, his hogs and chickens starve, his pastor denounces him as an atheist (or even an Episcopalian), and he is ruined. Thus he favors Prohibition, especially if he is given to heavy drinking -- first because he hopes it will protect him against himself, and secondly because it harasses his superior and enemy, the city man...

I have never encountered a genuine city man, not obviously balmy, who was in favor of Prohibition. There seems to be something in the urban mentality that rebels against such imbecilities. Perhaps the fact is to be ascribed to familiarity with the police. The yokel, seeing policemen very seldom, retains a considerable fear of them, and a high respect for the laws behind them. But the city man takes the cops lightly, and the laws with them. He has no respect for laws as such; he respects them when they are useful and plausible. Such grotesque concoctions as the Volstead Act he knows to be neither.

The yokel’s answer to this sniffishness is that the city man is a scoundrel, and ought to be kept under restraint. His opposition to Prohibition, as the hedge pastors argue, is due to a consuming love of rum. But that argument quickly runs aground on the fact that the city man, despite the Eighteenth Amendment, still has all the rum he can consume. For he is not only contumacious; he is also ingenious, and knows how to beat laws that he dislikes. So the yokels and their spiritual advisers have to fall back on the doctrine that Prohibition is ordained of God, and is hence binding upon every good citizen, regardless of his private convictions. But the city man simply laughs at that. He observes that the chief agents of revelation are Methodist bishops, and that he has heard too much balderdash from them to have any confidence in them.

- from “Real Issues at Last”, July 23rd, 1928

Commentary on Herbert Hoover’s character just before his election, as I provided it in the comments section under the (very interesting) SSC post on Hoover:

The contrast [Al Smith] makes with his opponent is really appalling. Hoover stands at the opposite pole. He is a man of sharp intelligence, well schooled and familiar with the ways of the world, and more than once, in difficult situations, he has shown a shrewd competence, but where is character ought to be there is almost a blank. He is the perfect self-seeker, pushing and unconscionable; it is hard to imagine him balking at anything to get on. His principles are so vague that even his intimates seem unable to put them into words. He is an American who came within an inch of being an Englishman, a Republican who came within an inch of being a Democrat, a dry who came within an inch of being a wet. He is what is today because it has paid him well so far, and promises to pay still better hereafter.

- from “Al in the Free State”, October 29th, 1928

Now Mencken’s attempts to predict the results of the elections of 1932, in which he demonstrates how oblivious he was to the effects of the Great Depression on public sentiment:

That Dr. Hoover will be renominated by his party next year is as nearly certain as anything human can be, and that he will be reelected at the ensuing plebiscite is highly probable.

- from “The Hoover Bust”, May 18th, 1931

Barring acts of God of a revolting and unprecedented character, Mr. Hoover is almost as sure of reelection next year as he was of election in 1928... [Mencken argues in terms of several states that Hoover might lose but won’t need anyway.]

All this should be plain to anyone able to add and subtract. It is as obvious as that 2 and 2 equal 4.

- from “Hoover in 1932″, July 27th, 1931

Right before the election, Mencken finally recognized that Hoover was going to lose but seems to emphasize almost every other complaint against Hoover (particularly his acting on the wrong side of the Prohibition question) over his failure to cure the Depression:

My guess is that the thing which really finished the right hon. gentleman was his singularly disingenuous and unconvincing dealing with Prohibition.

- from “Pre-Mortem”, October 24th, 1932

I’ll end with the passage I found maybe the most interesting. Mencken had identified as a Democrat and enthusiastically voted Democrat in 1928 and 1932 (although he didn’t support the Democratic candidates in 1920 and 1924 and loathed the legendary Democrat William Jennings Bryan). But well before the end of FDR’s first term, he had turned against the president’s new-dealing ways. Here is an excerpt from his article on the eve of FDR’s reelection:

Nevertheless, and in spite of all Hell’s angels, I shall vote for the Hon. Mr. Landon tomorrow. To a lifelong Democrat, of course, it will be something of a wrench. But it seems to me that the choice is one that genuine Democrats are almost bound to make. On the one side are all the basic principles of their party, handed down from its first days and tried over and over again in the fires of experience; on the other side is a gallimaufry of transparent quackeries, puerile in theory and dangerous in practice. To vote Democratic this year it is necessary, by an unhappy irony, to vote for a Republican. But to vote with the party is to vote for a gang of mountebacks who are no more Democrats than a turkey buzzard is to an archangel.

This exchange of principles, with the party labels unchanged, is naturally confusing, abut it is certainly not so confusing that it goes unpenetrated. Plenty of Republicans who believe sincerely in a strong Federal Government are going to vote tomorrow for the Hon. Mr. Roosevelt, and plenty of Democrats who believe sincerely in the autonomy of the States and a rigid limitation of the Federal power are going to vote, as I shall, for the Hon. Mr. Landon. Whether the shift that confronts us will be be permanent remains to be seen. But while it lasts it is manifestly very real, and those who let party loyalties blind them to its reality will be voting very foolishly.

This is particularly interesting to me because it reflects an interpretation of the history of our political parties often claimed by Democrats: “The two parties switched places.” I’ve always been a little impatient with the simplistic way this is put (although of course it’s nowhere near as bad as Republicans, including the president, who love to imply that theirs is still the party of Lincoln out of one side of their mouths while idolizing Andrew Jackson, the founder of the Democratic party, out of the other). It’s not as though the parties one day just up and decided they wanted to switch names or switch positions. Mencken himself had pointed out in the early 20′s, in one of the passages I quoted further above, that there was little differentiating the two parties at the time apart from the demographic and geographic subgroups of Americans who formed their respective bases. Moreover, the Democratic party had been displaying somewhat of a fiscally progressive streak in the past few decades, arguably starting with William Jennings Bryan in 1896. (Although to be fair, the Republican party flirted with progressivism in a very big way thanks to Theodore Roosevelt, and none of this earlier progressivism looked that much like the revolution FDR was waging anyway.)

That said, if one had to point to a single turning point in history for Democrats and Republicans which played the greatest role in directing them towards where they are today, the early 30′s with FDR’s New Deal is probably the most reasonable choice, and Mencken’s above contemporary commentary is evidence supporting this.