#And Minion claims I have a dirty mind!

[ask-megamind-blue-defender]

why are you so handsome my god WHY ARE YOUR EYES SO DISTRACTING AND GREEN

AHA! You have found my other superpower! (Besides my amazing intellect, I mean!) One sultry eyebrow lift from this Incredibly Handsome Defender is all it takes to bring most people to their knees! MUAHA--

What now Minion?! What?! And why is Roxanne laughing? What is so funny?!

Oh, for evil heaven's sake! THAT IS NOT WHAT I MEANT ABOUT BRINGING THEM TO THEIR KNEES AND YOU KNOW IT!

Honestly! The two of you! The Ninja Turtles called... They want you to get your minds back out of their sewer!

[tomboy014]

The Prince's

So, I hadn’t originally planned on doing anything for Dani, but this post from @aziraphale-is-a-cats-a-cat got me thinking about things, and I ended up writing this.

So, while the men of the Justice League are trying to figure out who Dani is a clone of, Wonder Woman takes one look at the black haired, blue eyed, mischievous girl and can’t help but see herself in her and claim, “Mine.”

The rest of the League try, but there’s no arguing with Diana now that she’s set her mind on something, but Bruce and Clark have kids and know it’s not as easy as it looks to take care of them.  She’s only ever been the “fun aunt;” she’s never had to get into the dirty, exhausting parts of parenthood before.  It escalates to a full-blown argument, but if Dani has any say in it, she’d rather chill at Wonder Woman’s place for a while.  It sounds better than staying in some gross cave or ice castle, and space isn’t her thing (the same way it’s Danny’s), so she’d rather not stay in the Watchtower.

Arguments about clones and custody continue over the next few weeks, not helped by the fact that Dani is still pretty unconcerned about the whole situation.  Or, she was unconcerned until Vlad showed up.  He’d decided enough was enough and it was long past time he collect his property.

It only takes a single scream.

Diana bursts into the room, fist connecting with Vlad’s jaw, and he’s knocked across the room.

“Don’t.  Touch.  My child.”

She proceeds to hand his ass to him on a bronze platter before he flees into the night, bruised and bloody.

Now it’s Dani’s turn to latch onto Diana’s leg, shouting “Mine!”  This is her new, kick-ass mommy and no one else can have her.  Dibs!  No take backs!  Well, it’s settled, now.  Diana is officially Dani’s mom, and no member of the JLA can stop it.  She scoops Dani up in her arms, and before she’s even out the door, she’s already telling the other Amazon’s the good news and making plans to take Dani to Themyscira to meet her γιαγιά Hippolyta. 

The two work on figuring out family life, and all’s good for a while.  Dani’s got a (relatively) stable home life and is quickly adapting to life as “Danielle Prince.”  She likes that the name sounds similar to Diana’s, like it was on purposeful choice rather than a cheap knockoff of her original’s name, and she’s getting a lot more comfortable with it.  Bruce, thoroughly defeated and resigned to put away the adoption papers, helps her enroll is a good school and finds tutors to catch her up on the years of schooling she didn’t live through.  (This includes Jason Todd, who has volunteered himself as an excuse to hang out with Wonder Woman more.)  Louis helps her get legal paperwork and documents for Dani (something she helped do for Kon).  She makes friends with Damian and Jon.  And she’s just as skilled as Danny with language, so she’s picking up Greek rapidly.

Since Diana’s adopted her and she’s gained an army of superpowered babysitters, Dani is finally starting to feel comfortable enough to share some information with the League.  It’s not much, but she lets them know Plasmius is the one who cloned her, and her last name used to be Fenton.

Oh, no.  Between those colors and facial features, Clark has a pretty good guess at which Fenton family she came from.  Still, the family is enormous, so he doesn’t know which Fenton exactly was cloned, but the family reunion is this year, and wouldn’t hurt to give Dani a bigger support system.  Would she and Diana like to come?

Vlad, meanwhile, has recovered and is pissed.  After shadowing Wonder Woman from a healthy distance, he finds out she’s supermodel Diana Prince.  Plasmius may not have been a match for Wonder Woman, but billionaire Vlad Masters is more than capable of taking some supermodel down a peg or two.

So, he approaches Diana at work, telling her he knows who she is and that he wants his “daughter” back.  His “minion” might not have been a match for her, but if she refuses to comply, he’ll ruin her career.

And she laughs.  Laughs right in his face.  Loudly.  Because she knows he’s bluffing.  A billionaire and supermodel isn’t anything new as far as the media is concerned; it’s a cliché.  But a deadbeat billionaire dad threatening to steal back an illegitimate child from an abandoned single mother?  After years of not paying any child support?  The media would eat something like that right up.  Something that could drop stock prices and ruin political careers.  That’s something anyone would be desperate to keep hushed up and out of the media spotlight, and she’ll drag him kicking and screaming into said spotlight if he comes anywhere near her daughter.  Or maybe the media would prefer to know the real story about his illegal cloning?  After all, that went over so well for Lex Luthor. 

Vlad leaves, and Diana makes a few calls.  First, she makes sure Clark heard everything in that conversation and sets him on the warpath against DalvCo if need be.  She gets Bruce up to speed, and if there’s one thing he’s in the best position to do, it’s to hit Vlad where it really hurts: his wallet.  Vlad was already a pretty scummy businessman.  Wayne Enterprises didn’t need much of an excuse to cancel or back out of business deals with him.

But Diana is still shaken up by the event, even if she’s not going to let it show.  Right now, she wants to send Dani away to Themyscira behind a wall of Amazons where she knows no one will be able to touch her, but Bruce and Louis talk her down.  Dani’s finally settling into a normal-ish life, and uprooting her now will not help her, and if push comes to shove, trying to whisk her away will not look good to the courts.  Louis knows a great lawyer, and Bruce is willing to foot the bill.

For Vlad, that did not go as expected at all.  He hadn’t expected her to know Danielle was a clone, and he doesn’t want Danielle to be public knowledge.  However, he has no intention of getting lawyers involved; she’d be expecting that.  No, he has something far more insidious planned.  It’s been decades since he’s attended one, but the Fenton Family Reunion should be coming up soon, and as far at that family is concerned, once a Fenton, always a Fenton.  She’s prepared to fight lawyers?  Well, Let’s see how she fares against an army of angry grandparents and disapproving aunts demanding that his poor child be returned to him once he sets the family on the warpath.

[haileygarciasunshine]

Leather and Lace

Pairing: Brian O’Conner x Fem!Reader

Written: December 16th, 2020

Posted: December 17th, 2020

Word Count: 1,767

Warning: Mentions of violence, drugs, street racing, blood.

Requested: Yes!

Summary: Being Dom's best friend you were always there to get him out of trouble. Things become complicated after Letty's death, and the threat of Braga looming. (Based on FastFour)

Brian O’Conner Masterlist

"Hello?"

"It's Dom-"

"I'll be right there."

Once the phone call ended, you raced around your room grabbing any article of clothing that could fit in your duffle bag. Sighing, you knew something big had to be going on if you were getting a call about Dom. He always tried to keep you out of whatever job he was doing, often claiming his world wasn't for you.

Growing up, you befriended Letty. She was quick to become your best friend. Letty was the one to introduce you to your love of cars. It was something that you were both able to bond over while allowing you to spend a lot of time together. After a while, she introduced you to her guy friend Dominic. From that moment on, the three of you were inseparable.

Dom was quick to take on the father role in your life. He had insisted that you go to college since the rest of them didn't. He didn't want you to end up in their world and wanted you to make something of yourself. After months of discussion, you decided to go to college. It was only a few hour drive away from home. Dom had rarely called you when he was in trouble as he didn't want you to get distracted from your studies. Whenever you were home for the summer's Letty and Dom, taught you all about street racing.

Shaking your head you cleared your mind from the memories as you continued scurrying around your room. Grabbing your black leather jacket, you threw on a crop top before lacing up your boots.

Making your way to your apartment door, you gazed around as the thought of not knowing when you were coming back, crossed your mind. Living in your apartment had never been your home. You always considered wherever you were with the crew to be your home.

Shutting the door, you bounded down the stairwell, before you crossed the threshold to the parking garage. Opening your car door, you tossed your duffle bag inside, before climbing in. Your car was a black Dodge Charger that Dom had gotten you as a going-away present.

Pressing the gas with one foot, you kept your other on the brake. The sound of your engine bounced off the cement walls. Your heart began pumping faster, as a giddy feeling bubbled up. It had been a while since you were able to drive as you had with the crew.

---

In no time, you pulled into the crew's hangout. Making your way to the area where everyone was, you could hear the familiar voice of Roman echoed off the walls.

As you walked through the threshold, everyone's eyes moved to you. Grinning you looked at your friends.

"Hey, guys."

"Y/N!" Tej exclaimed, his voice filled with excitement. Rushing towards you, he wrapped his arms firmly around your waist, before lifting you off the ground as he twirled around.

The sound of your giggles filled the air.

"I've missed you, Y/N." He spoke placing you back on your feet. Pulling away he kept his hands on your waist.

"I've missed you too, T." You grinned.

"Let the poor girl go, Tej." Roman's voice rang through your ears.

Giggling you turned toward his voice.

"Don't worry, I missed you too." You giggled, throwing your arms around his shoulders before pulling him into a tight hug.

"Nice to see you, Pipsqueak."

You groaned before rolling your eyes.

"Oh, this is Brian," Tej spoke from behind you, gesturing to the dirty blond in front of you. His piercing blue eyes were the first thing you noticed.

"Brian this is Y/N." He introduced.

"So you're the Y/N, I've heard so much about." His husky voice whirled in your ears, as he extended his hand.

"And you're the FBI street racer, I've heard about." You sassed, ignoring his hand before you made your way towards Mia.

As you walked past Brian, you didn't miss the frustrated sigh that passed his lips.

Once you were caught up on what had happened, you were overwhelmed with sadness. Letty had taken on a motherly role for you, she was someone you trusted with your life, someone you could go to with anything.

"I'm sorry." You quickly excused yourself, as your vision became blurred by tears that were threatening to fall.

Rushing out, you had barely made it before a sob raked through your body. A pair of firm hands gripped your shoulder turning you around. You were face to face with the new crew member, Brian. At that moment you didn't care. Propelling yourself into him, you cried into his shoulder, as he wrapped his firm arms around your waist. One of his hands began moving up and down your back in an attempt to soothe you.

"It'll be okay." He muttered in your ear.

"How can you say that?" You asked not bothering to remove yourself from the crook of his neck.

"Because he has you." He spoke softly. "With you by his side, he can overcome anything."

As you let his words sink in, fireworks erupted in your stomach.

---

After that moment, you and Brian had grown closer than you expected. While you were becoming closer, you were developing feelings for the cop.

"It's someone named Braga," Dom spoke, his voice hollow.

Flinching you nodded. Dom had planned to win a street race for a chance to speak with Braga. A new drug lord was in town. With each passing day of Letty's death, Dom became someone you didn't know.

Sighing, you often confided in Brian about your feelings causing you to spend more and more time with him. He was quickly becoming someone you trusted.

"I have to go with him." You spoke standing up from the couch.

"Y/N, it's too dangerous," Brian spoke quickly standing, his voice filled with concern.

Whirling around, you turned to face him. Fury coursing through your body.

"Don't tell me it's too dangerous." You spat. "Would you tell the guys that?"

Brian sighed before frowning.

"Exactly." You shook your head.

"I just... I just don't want you to get hurt."

You raised an eyebrow at him. "Again, I ask, would you tell one of the guys that?"

He frowned in response.

"Exactly." You huffed crossing your arms over your chest. "Why are you so against me doing this? I'll be with Dom."

"I care about you!" He exclaimed as his voice was full of frustration. "Dom, isn't really, Dom at the moment." He ran a hand along his face.

---

"This is the hangout. Braga is around here somewhere." The man spoke as he lead the small group of people out of the elevator.

Darting your eyes around the room, you attempted to search for Dom or Brian. Both of them were here after the street race, neither expected you would show up.

A sigh of relief fell from your lips as you spotted them both at the bar.

"I'll take a beer." You muttered to the bartender.

Making your way to the opposite end of the bar, you took a seat beside Brian. Immediately both men's eyes fell upon you.

"Y/N." Dom hissed. "What do you think you're doing?" He moved promptly to the other side of you, so you were boxed in between them.

You shrugged before taking a swig of your beer. "The same thing you guys are."

"Do you have any idea-"

"You think I'd let my best friends do something stupid without me?" You questioned with a raised eyebrow.

You didn't miss the blush that made it's way to Brian's cheeks.

Dom scoffed. "Don't be stupid. Go home."

"No." You spoke in a firm voice.

It was Dom's turn to raise an eyebrow.

"It's not up for discussion," Dom spoke.

"Exactly." You challenged not breaking eye-contact.

Dom let out a frustrated huff. "Whatever."

---

Braga had decided to allow you and Brian to do the job along with Dom. As you sat in your cars inside the semi-truck, you couldn't help but feel uneasy. Glancing around the truck, you felt an intense pair of eyes on you. Dom was staring back at you. His expression was unreadable.

The small team that Braga had assembled, was driving through country roads in Mexico. Once the team had gotten the items, you were driving through the desert to the board that separated the United States and Mexico. Everyone was ordered to stay information while driving. It was pitch black out when they had decided to make the move.

Gisele's voice began becoming frantic as the team was spotted on the border patrol's camera's. It quickly became a race against time. Your heart began beating rapidly at the realization that you might get caught, knowing deep down that you were transporting drugs for Braga.

Once the team pulled into the small area in the mountains, everyone got out of their cars. In a matter of minutes, one of the minions for Braga had pulled a gun out threatening to shoot Dom.

Dom started his car on fire, causing the rest of the cars to start on fire.

The small explosion making everyone fly to the ground. You hit the ground with a muffled thud. As you were flung to the ground, you hit your head causing a small amount of blood to trickle down your face.

"Y/N!" Dom and Brian yelled in unison as they frantically searched for you.

Groaning, you pushed off the ground, before standing up. "I'm here."

Dom rushed towards you, pulling you in for a bone-crushing hug. One of his hands cradled your head, as he placed a gentle kissed on your head.

"I'm sorry, kid." He muttered into your hair.

Brian was quick to pull you in for an unexpected hug. His hug caught you off guard as fireworks erupted in your stomach. Nuzzling his shoulder you inhaled his sent, as comfort and security washed over you allowing you to close your eyes.

Pulling away from his slightly, you gazed upwards at him taking in his ocean eyes. Brian leaned in slightly as if testing the waters. Leaning up towards him, your lips collided. The kiss was short and sweet.

Gasping slightly, you jumped away from him as you realize Dom was around.

"Dom-" You turned to face him.

"So my two best friends, huh?"

A grin made it's way to your lips as you felt heat rise in your cheeks. Turning to face Brian, he was mirroring your expression. Dom threw his arms around your shoulders before he pulled you both away from the firey scene.

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[sunseteyes]

THE RED ROSES IN WONDERLAND; T. KAMADO

theme/s: alice in wonderland & brave inspired. a beginning; where the child of the red king meets the one that is fated to bring peace in the land. 

word count: 1,957 words

roze’s note: i suddenly wanted to write this as a multi-chapter but let’s see~ if my schedule permits it, why not? also, what do you think? should i really??

a sigh leaves your lips as your eyes glances over the same flowers every single day. yes, the flowers were indeed beautiful, but whenever you see the color red, you just can't help but feel that coiling of your stomach and the tightening in your throat.

everyone thinks you don't know of the blood that spills on your father's hands, but you do, and you're only pretending you don't.

just as you were about to turn back to the house, a figure catches your attention and you immediately recognized who it was.

"nosuke! you're back!" your mood brightened immediately at the only one whom you could call a friend in the whole land. despite being surrounded by lots of individuals and loyal subjects, your guard is still always up and you never full trusted all of them—except inosuke.

it was explainable though. he's the only one who is not entirely by your father's side but he can still manage to stay alive. as the record keeper of wonderland, inosuke the white rabbit is more like the neutral individual. he doesn't have a side to pick on and that's why you don't have a problem opening up to him at all.

"how was your travel to the other side? did you bring a souvenir for me?" you excitedly approached the boy and his ears twitched at the sound of your voice, his head turning around to face you with his beautiful face that you sometimes envy upon. he's probably the prettiest you'd ever seen in the whole land!—as if you'd seen everyone yet. you never got to get out much aside from the forest because your father insists that you must stay safe and not act hostile because you are a royal, the future ruler of the reds, after him.

you didn't want to adapt your father's way of ruling but you can't also say no to him. it's not that you were afraid but mostly because you love him too much to hurt him. he raised you with the outmost care and compassion he could give. the only thing you could give back to him is by abiding in his rules and obeying him by following his footsteps.

but you can't kill anyone either.

"huh? souvenir? i was there for work, you know! you can't just order me to do something when i've got other things to do." you smiled at inosuke's response. harsh as it may seem to others, you know it was his way of conversing to someone he doesn't particularly call his "minion". he can be a bit superior against others but it's what you admire most in your friend.

"wait, inosuke. i heard you brought someone from the other side. is that true?"

your question seemed to have made him tense for a second but it vanished as soon as it came. you realized then that it must have been the same question your father might have asked him that's why the rabbit was summoned there.

"you mean gonpachiro? he's not going to stay here for long. the portal will open a week after, there's no need to worry about the legend."

ah, so that's what it is, you thought.

there's a legend in wonderland that there will come a time that someone from "the other side" will come and give a path to peace between the white and the red, making the land as one as it can be. looking at it now, many have lost hope that the legend was not even often said anymore. yet, it is also a fear for others, especially the royals since peace will result to a singular leadeship.

it's either one will back down and give way so the other will rule all over wonderland, or one will have to fall in misery as the other rises in victory,

either way, you're sure your father will never like the idea of that unless he will be the ruler.

"i'm not worried about the legend." you say, looking up a inosuke's eyes. "i'm more worried about this gonpachiro you're talking about. you know how my father works."

inosuke's lips seals tight at your words. you have kept from everyone aside from inosuke about your knowledge of your father's dirty works but until now, inosuke seems bothered about it.

now you don't really socialize with the others in your household much and you usually keep your distant most of the time. one of the main reasons why was because of your father—he often tells you never to trust anyone, including the ones that are loyal to them. you agreed in his logic for the reason that his loyal subjects are the ones that obeys his orders and has the capability of killing anyone. you never liked that idea, even if you don't show or tell it to others, especially your father. he'd be very disappointed if that so happens.

this results to a lot of free time for yourself. with an idea you got from the back of your head, you begun to imitate how your father's loyal subjects often train around the palace.

by training, it meant drawing a weapon and using it constantly for you to get used to it. at first, you thought of it as something you do in your past time. however as moments passes by and more killings were done in the red kingdom, you decided it was for your own safety. you never know when time will come when someone tries to avenge their lost loved one because of your father. as the only heir to the throne and the ones that carries the king's own blood, you will surely be the best prey for a predator.

drawing back your arm, narrowing your eyes and casting a breath, you let go of the tail of the arrow, watching it hit the target whilst quickly reaching for another one and repeat the process.

eleven years. it took eleven years for you to master the art of archery.

at first, you tried with knives, swords and even a fan—which was the weapon of one of your father's loyal subjects. yet, the bow and arrows were the only ones you had gotten a connection too. thus, it served you as your main weapon that you had learned throughout the years without any guidance from anyone.

your father didn't like the idea of you fighting for your own. even if you had kept your training a secret all these years. you had a feeling he knows about it and he was either already pleased about it or he's too disappointed that you were keeping it a secret that he wants you to confess it to him instead of confronting you.

your hair flutters under the influence of the wind as you balanced on your horse, already used to its movement and shifts as he glides through the trees of the forest.

you locked your eyes on a target however as you shot the arrow, a figure catches your attention and it was too late.

"look out!"

you were quite sure that the figure was so a hair-strand away from getting hit yet it dodges, the arrow marking a perfect score on the target on a tree trunk.

you halted your horse and ushers it towards the figure's way, your mind failing to recognize what it was.

"who are you?" you made eye contact with the boy, the crimson in his hair resonating his orbs that were certainly of a different hues than your father and the roses in your garden.

he looks... different. far too unique from the people in the palace.

"how did you gain access in here? from what i remember i told everyone that only i should be of use of the forest." your brows furrow at the sight of him, your guard up just in case he will try something.

although, his face displayed of a gentleness that you had not seen for the longest time—was there ever been a moment, even? that you don't know. from what you can recall, everyone only respected you because of your title.

not because of you yourself.

"don't be alarmed! i bring you no harm, your highness!" he raises both of his hands up as a sign of surrender, his voice tainted of assurance and calmness that no burglar or man with ill-intention would have.

you still refuse to trust him.

"how will i know of your claims?" your grip on your bow tightens, prepared of any kind of attack. "what's your name, stranger?"

he seems to be at ease with your questioning, making you curious even further.

"i am tanjiro kamado. i... the white rabbit and the mad hatter sent me here. he thought i could be of help to you, your highness."

"help? why would i need that?"

then inosuke and zenitsu? why would they send this boy without telling it to you beforehand?

"you need to know what the red king is doing. he needs to be stopped. inosuke told me only you are capable to do that."

"i already know of my father's schemes." your lips tighten in your words, being the second time to have told your secret, you were beginning to think it was a wrong move.

the boy named tanjiro looked surprised, betrayed even. could it be that inosuke lied to him? you guesses that might not be the case.

"you mean... you know that he's planning to start a war against the white kingdom...?" there was hope and uncertainty in his voice, a mixture that you had deemed obvious with how he toned it. however, it was least of your worries for his words had processed in your mind first.

a war? now that you don't know about.

"where have you gotten this idea?" you question him further. "i... i never heard of that."

he seems to have perked up at your last statement, his aura changing in a millisecond.

"muzan learned of my coming here. you know of the legend, right? i didn't know if it at first but i was warned that my arrival would cause great chaos in this world." it had been awhile since you've heard someone use your father's name.

that fact alone changed your perspective on the boy.

climbing down your horse, your garments sticking to your skin as the slight formation of the sweat from your training. without letting go of your bow, you stood in front of tanjiro, feeling like the world had stopped at how you were feeling the beginning of change in you and your household.

looking straight into his eyes, you spoke.

"yes, that is a fact." you scanned his face and found a genuineness that you were not used of seeing as a result of being in a place with people that wore a firm and strict expression constantly. you were getting tired of it.

wait, no. you are tired of it.

"but your coming here is a sign of hope." your muscles eases up at how you let it out all in one go, "you will be the source of peace in wonderland, tanjiro kamado."

all your teenage years you spent on being silent. now that you were getting close to your coronation, it is time to show everyone what is needed to be done,

and with this boy in front of you, you felt as if the coil in your stomach contort back and relax, a ray of light showing you the path that you should take in order for you to succeed in stopping your own father from destroying the land you call home and the king that has the same blood that runs in your veins.

[soniabigcheese]

20th December - Bah, Humbug

Let me tell you an old story, retelling anew

Shortened down but the the plot still remains the same.

*warning, strong language, continue at your own risk*

Let's begin with Gaat ... aka the Hood, one soggy wet Christmas Eve. The forecast was .. as predicted, pouring rain instead of snow.

He'd been to his safe house to torture his long suffering, but extremely valuable of all his minions. To twist and control his mind to perform unthinkable things to get what he wanted.

See ... the Hood didn't like to get his hands dirty and hired anyone desperate enough to do it for him.

It was that particular day that he had the first of many unsettling visions. He'd had them in the past but none quite so vivid as these.

The first was of his deceased silent partner, taken too soon with a gruesome death.

Of course, Gaat snorted derision at this mournful plea and brushed him aside. Then went to bed ... to 'sleep on it'.

Insomnia sucks, as he spent most of the night tossing and turning. Thoughts of these 'visions/visitations' preying on his mind.

The first to visit ... was that of a face from the past. A Lucille Taylor.

And who he blamed for his downward spiral into greed. But she reminded him that he had a dark and greedy soul. Wanting what others had.

She married his arch nemesis Jeff Tracy, solidifying the hatred he had towards that charismatic man.

Last he heard, they had five sons ... but she died in a freak accident, leaving that man to raise his family on his own.

Yeah well ... sucks to be him.

The next visitation, was that of his brother, Kyrano, sitting with his daughter ... Gaat's niece, and they were talking.

About him.

"I wish he would come to dinner," Kyrano said, carving the ham joint, "I've sent so many invites and they've all been turned down."

Tanusha poked her finger into the sauce and licked it.

"Wouldn't trust him with a ten foot bargepole," she said bitterly, "I don't know why you keep sending him these olive branches."

"Oh daughter dearest, don't let your bitterness rule your heart. I'm sure there IS some good in him."

Gaat snorted as that vision faded.

"Delusional fool" he muttered.

Another vision appeared.

It was the scene of his sworn enemy ... Jeff Tracy and sons all grown up. Spending time together, a happy little unit.

And that's what made Gaat's heart clench even deeper with resentment. He thought back to his lonely little life, wondered if it would have changed had he married and had kids of his own.

Probably not. The wife would have run away and taken the kids with her. Then filed for a divorce as well aa claim for child support.

Nah, too much of a noose around his neck.

The final visitation appeared ... and it didn't look good at all. Thick walls that kept him in solitary confinement.

Didn't sound too bad. It was just a matter of avoiding that fate.

He'd read a Christmas Carol to know the outcome of Ebenezer Scrooge's change of heart at the end.

Pfft ... it was just a bloody story, that's all.

He slept peacefully after that, and decided to pay a visit to his safe house to torment the Mechanic even further.

But he stopped in his tracks when he opened the door to a holocall from said victim.

It read.

"Merry Christmas you mean old bastard. May you rot in prison for the rest if your days.

Speaking of, I've given the GDF the coordinates of this place and should be arriving by the time you've read this message."

The Mechanic

P.S. just to let you know, I quit my job and I'm working for Jeff Tracy now because he values his employees and I'm getting a better pay rate.

The door flew open and several troopers charged on, pinning him against the wall and clipping handcuffs on.

In the doorway, the silhouette of Colonel Casey appeared. He couldn't see her expression but he knew she was smiling. Gleeful that she'd finally caught him.

And the moral of this story?

Crime doesn't always pay.

And that the Hood is an irredeemable character.

[nancypullen]

Whatcha’ Doing?

Biting your nails? Drinking to numb yourself? Crying into your pillow?  It’s November 4th in America and in true 2020 fashion, everything is insane.  Biden  has officially received more votes for president of the United States than any candidate in history, but because of our electoral college we still don’t have a winner.  Votes are still being counted in Michigan, Wisconsin, Pennsylvania, North Carolina, Georgia, and Nevada - all while Trump screams that he won and will take this to the Supreme Court (ya’ know, the one he stacked with unqualified but loyal judges).  HIs newest installment, Amy Coney Barrett, was one of three lawyers sent to Florida to stop vote counting in 2000 and hand the election to George W. Bush.  The other two were John Roberts and Brett Kavanaugh.  Feel like you’re being played?  And while we’re on the subject of Amy Coney Barrett - let’s discuss her lack of qualifications to sit on the highest court in our nation.

She has 2 years in private practice.

She has never tried a case.

She has never argued an appeal.

She has never argued before the Supreme Court.

Most of her private work involved civil cases, not criminal.

She has 15 years teaching experience. She did not serve as a judge until 2017. Folks, this is not a great legal mind who has earned the right to a seat on SCOTUS,  this is a minion being rewarded.  Just like the unqualified Kavanaugh who was recently blasted by attorneys and politicians because his written opinion on the court’s decision not to extend Wisconsin’s mail-in voting deadline  contained misinformation and was so poorly written and cited that it had kids in law school shaking their heads.  The only thing he needed on his resume was his loyalty to Trump and the seat was his.  Kavanaugh worked inside the George W. Bush White House and has been accused of a lot of dirty dealings.  That must have thrilled Trump.  So if this election is so close that it goes to the Supreme Court, we’re in the hands of idiots.  I’m appalled that it’s even close.  It shouldn’t be.  This was the easiest vote of my lifetime - decency or destruction.  I wanted to say decency or dumbass, but I’m a lady. Having said all of that, and freely admitting that I’m on edge, I understand that it is out of my hands.  Do I feel like rioting in the streets and demanding the return of my country’s democracy? Yep.  But I have to wait. I have to believe that as the votes are counted, goodness will prevail.  If not...well, I hear that Portugal is a lovely spot for ex-pats.  Good climate, great quality of life, low cost of living, and of course, universal healthcare.  I’ve started practicing a bit of Portuguese. Just the really important stuff, like...Onde fica a Sephora?  Where is Sephora?   I may end up a woman without a country but I’m still going to need lipstick. All kidding aside, the waiting is difficult but I’m hoping it’s worth it.  I’m hoping that votes aren’t stolen or buried, I’m hoping that the country I believed in is still there.  I envy the folks who shrug and trot on with their lives as if it doesn’t matter who is in the people’s house.  I mean, my life won’t change much either - I’m not a gay person who wants protection at work,  I’m not an immigrant, brought here as a child, hoping to contribute and become part of the beautiful American tapestry,  I’m not a young woman who wants the right to control my own body and make my own healthcare decisions,  I don’t need birth control.  I’m not a Native American who wants to protect the small pieces of sacred land that have been left to me.  I’m not a scientist who has been working around the clock for the better part of 2020 trying to save lives only to be called a fraud.  I’m not a black American who heard the president say that torch carrying white supremacists were “very fine people”.  I’m just a middle-class, middle-aged, white woman who thinks that every one of those Americans deserves to feel safe and be heard.  I’m just a citizen who thinks that every vote should count and that we should not be ruled by a loud minority.  I’m an American who thinks that children don’t belong in cages and people shouldn’t die because they don’t have insurance.  I know that I’m not wrong.

It truly is just that simple. How dare anyone claim otherwise?  I also happen to think that our leaders should be expected to tell the truth and defer to experts rather than lie and contribute to the deaths of over 230,000 Americans. The pandemic should never have reached this point.   So we wait...and wait...( a friend compared it to waiting for biopsy results) and hope that the corrupt, behind-the-scenes manipulations weren’t enough to rob us of our democracy.  We’re living through an era in American history that will be discussed for decades to come.  I will always have the comfort of knowing that I fell on the right side, the side that chose the good of the many over the bank accounts of the few.  Decency over destruction.  Kindness over selfishness.  Biden over Trump.  Maybe we’ll have a result tomorrow. Maybe we won’t know for a month.  Like everything else this year, it won’t be easy. Hang in there, keep the faith, stay safe and well. XOXO, Nancy

[arosmith-zeppelin]

General Thoughts on TUA Season 2

Spoilers!

Okay so I really liked that fight scene at the beginning

The soundtrack was KILLER

LUTHER'S. CHARACTER. DEVELOPMENT.

Vanya living out that lesbian cottagecore dream

Are we going to ignore that Five is a huge jackass and also brutally murdered about a dozen or so people? (I knew I was onto something when I said he had a Truth or Dare smile)

Klaus starting a cult

I actually kind of like how all the Hargreeves sometimes do shitty things.

ESPECIALLY BEN.

We've made him out to be such a perfect angel, from a narrative standpoint I'm glad that he did some shitty stuff.

Reggie. I still want to throw hands.

On that note can we talk about how Reggie loved Pogo more than his adopted kids? Now we know why Pogo was so loyal.

Elliott was a fun character

I love the scene where Allison first runs into the beauty parlor after being chased by those racist shits, and all the black women recognize the fear on her face and instantly shift into protective mode.

Acknowledging that the fight is not over.

Ray's confusion over not one, but TWO white dudes claiming to be his wife's brothers.

Five fighting the vending machine. What even was that lmao

I liked Lila at first but I didn't really like where her character went but at the same time I do? If that makes sense

The Handler literally just appears a Cruella de Vil/Mother Gothel hybrid in my head now

I'm so confused over fish man. Why is he a fish? Why does he look like Minion from Megamind? How does he smoke (bear in mind please, i haven't read the comics)

I love how the trailer hypes him up to be some big menacing bad guy but he's literally in one scene where he demotes the Handler and the next time he appears he gets murdered.

Diego just. Becomes a conspiracy nut

"Dads going to assassinate JFK" became the new "Dad sent me to the moon" lmao I'm sorry Diego

Speaking of Diego can i just rant about how when Reggie verbally attacked him to the point of bringing his stutter back NO ONE stood up for him? Is this how it's gonna be? Each season picks a new sibling to ignore?

Speaking of ignore where the hell did Klaus's ghosts go

Having his cult dress in blue and bother him like the ghosts did was a neat visual cue but

Where are the fucking ghosts

"When did Luther learn to fight dirty?" Five you do realize Luther fought in underground boxing matches (or whatever the hell they are) you SAW him fight in one

"I WANNA FEEL PAIN" Wow ok edgy middle school OC.

Diego really went "thats rough buddy" on Luther

Klaus really went "if you have to say 'its not incest technically' thats not great" on Allison

Klaus, Vanya, and Allison hugs! "Hey Vanny" and kissing her head? Them hanging out and dancing together? Ive been waiting for that SINCE SEASON ONE

I saw the exact moment Reggie decided "I'm staying the FUCK away from these kids" and it was when Luther ripped his shirt open and screamed "LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO ME"

The Öga for Öga scene was pure comedy I love it

BENS DEATH SCENE HURT SO BAD

Fuck the Handler

"The Umbrella Academy may be assholes but they're not fools" Well yes but also no

Man the Handler really ate a raw fish whole huh

Brief side note, somehow I didn't realize that the original apocalypse happened on April Fool's Day

I think its so funny and great how Diego's been to the Commission and now he can just keep up with Five and the Handler's confrontation. Like he knows whats going on for once.

Okay so a lot of Commission operatives seem to have those Fnaf-esque masks, so......... does that mean Five at some point used a mask?

DIEGO CAN REDIRECT BULLETS

V A N Y A

Her controlling her powers? We love to see it.

Oh shit Lila's one of those October 1 kids

DIEGO REALLY DATED HIS SORT OF SISTER

I mean THEY SLEPT TOGETHER

Fuckin yikes

Wow so the Handler is like Reggie but somehow worse

I mean, they're kind of on the same level of shit, its hard to beat Reggie but the Handler gets on that level

So Five literally pulled a But For Me It Was Tuesday on Lila huh

Okay how many times is the Unbrella Academy going to kill off the Hargreeves siblings

Okay fine I'll admit Five finally controlling his time travelling was cool

Oh thank God Harlan lives

I love that Diego and Herb have a secret handshake

Sissy and Vanya....... MAYBE I CRIED.

Vanya and Diego just sitting and leaning against each other..... truly they came a long way from "she doesn't belong here"

SPARROW ACADEMY?

B E N ? ?

I love how the last word of the second season was "shit"

[adventuresofateenagebitch]

Destiny

Summary: Your destiny was to rule over Hell, it was your birthright. But you couldn’t help but think of another warlock you knew deep in your heart was also part of you destiny.

Pairing: Nick Scratch X Sabrina (Nabrina!)

Wordcount: 2,694

A/N: This is my first post! I mean, it’s Nabrina people. He’s loved her since he first saw and heard her in choir class. Softboi Nick. But honestly, Part 3 of Sabrina messed me up pretty bad. I wanted to write a Calbrina fic, but honestly, I needed to write a Nabrina one as my first post here. No way in Heaven I would do Nabrina dirty like that. So anyway, enjoy! Leave notes likes, asks and such I super duper appreciate them! Calbrina fic is still a work in progrss. Hope you guys enjoy this. I had an awkward time ending it. LOL.

-------------------------------------------------------

Ruling over Hell wasn’t that hard. Growing accustomed to the afterlife where souls who deserved it were meant to live in anguish and suffer in the darkest most deranged forms of torture surprisingly happened pretty quickly, at times you’d even feel like it was more home than good old Greendale where you left behind your best friend who fell in love with your ex-boyfriend, and your family who never even noticed that the Sabrina they were living with wasn’t even the Sabrina of their time, but family can only reach so far to really know you… especially when you weren’t even related to them by blood in the slightest, except for Ambrose. You knew for a fact Ambrose noticed right away, the clever little beast. Perhaps another reason you’d grown so accustomed to Hell, your real father was with you, and as strange as it may seem, it was like you were living in any old house with a father and stepmother, minus the demons and the road of blood leading to Pandaemonium. Your father, Satan, Lucifer, or even the Dark Lord was like any other father out there. He had meals with you, guided you through your newly imbued powers, and even gave you advice on how to handle hellish matters when things came down to it. But more importantly, he never really stopped ruling over Hell, sure he had more free time now, but even then, he’d still be backhandedly working, he’d handle the affairs you couldn’t since you haven’t really gotten a grasp on the whole politics of hell, he knew he had to step in when you nearly instigated an uprising after telling a court of demons that Hell would be reformed from top to bottom. Even Lilith proved to be helpful, especially when you had to go to the mortal realm to collect souls, she’d stand guard making sure you didn’t stray from the path you’d chosen, the path of night to go back to your family and friends. Of course, hell wasn’t a full time gig, you were allowed days off, in fact you were only ever really in the throne room when you needed to be which wasn’t exactly all the time, any decision you had to make was reiterated to you through telepathy so you had free time now more than ever.

That was the problem though. 

You wanted to be busy. You wanted to stay busy because whenever your brain had even the tiniest inkling that there was nothing to occupy it with, it came back to a certain raven haired warlock whose smirk could keep you hooked for days. The same warlock who broke up with you because all he could imagine and see when he looked at you was your father who in all fairness did try to overtake his soul. Nicholas Scratch. You look down at the writing in the sand from the Shore of Sorrows and quickly cross out his name. It’s funny, the coven was now praying to Hecate, but you could still hear them, you still imbued them with their dark powers because well, they were your coven, and they really believed Hecate could give them that much power when in reality, casting spells and actually getting them to work required a circle of witches murmuring in prayer to the Goddess. The prayers ranged from offerings to prayers asking for forgiveness, you could hear your Aunties, Prudence, even Ambrose had the quick prayer every now and then even though he claimed to be a Polytheist, but the one voice you’d never heard was his, you’d like to say that you didn’t notice it, but you’d never heard him pray to Hecate.

But you could only keep up this lifestyle for so long. You spoke with your father about this. He was powerful in his own right, already feeling the discord of space and time the second you stepped foot in the throne room. He knew there were two of you, he advised you to first learn everything you could about Hell, because a time would come where you would be forcibly merged with your other self living in the mortal world, and instead of forcing you to choose like he’d done in the past, you’d already agreed to rule over Hell so you would always come back and if not, they would just summon you whenever they needed anyway.

You were walking along the path of blood through the forest where you noticed a tiny scribbling on your palm.

“Spellman.”

You looked at it curiously, and then the realization hit you all at once, there was only one person who had your magic marker. The same person who would use it to have late night conversations with you when he knew damn well that your aunties were sleeping and could hear every single squeak in the house. You quickly clear the forest, hiding the palm of your hand from Lilith when she comes to greet you in Pandaemonium.

Lilith wasn’t and never would be a fan of the Queen of Hell having any romantic life, she always told you to never even think about that.

“Oh, well if it isn’t the Queen of Hell herself.” Lilith has her hands on her hips, talking with an individual who quickly turned towards you, a cunning smirk and devious eyes trained on you. You gulp quickly.

“My, my, Miss Spellman I don’t think I’ve seen you in a long while. I thought you had foregone your magic studies for your mortal friends?” It was Dorian and you realized he was here to bring your father’s monthly stock of alcoholic beverages, he licks his lips, “Never quite thought I’d find you here though.”

You furrowed your brows, “And where exactly did you hear that?”

He turns his body fully towards you, “Why, from Nicky, of course.” Lilith gives you a short nod before going off to find her minion, “And how sad Nicky has been without… well, you.”

Your eyes which had been trained on your shoes snap up to meet his eyes, “W-what?”

He nods silently, eyes closed, “Yeah, he told me months ago and well, there hasn’t gone a day where he doesn’t drink his sorrows away.” He sighs, “Well, that’s what he gets for falling in love.”

He starts to walk around, taking inventory of his deliveries, “You’re his friend, Dorian.”

He hums, “Yes, well, he’s also a customer. A well paying one at that-”

Without even letting him finish, you turn your head in disgust, holding up two fingers to send him back to his bar through a fiery portal.

"Well, aren't you sensitive today." Lilith rubs her still nonexistent pregnant belly, "Has Mr. Scratch got your mind occupied?"

You shake your head, "No. Just-just tell me where my father is."

Lilith moves aside, "Right in his office."

----

You open the large doors shaped like demon hands and without giving him a chance to talk, you ask him, "How do I check up on my other self?"

He grins at you devilishly, "Dear daughter, by now you've already been gifted most of your full powers, it's about time I gift you a another one." He approaches you slowly looking glad to be ripped apart from the paperwork on his desk he holds his hand over your eyes, "Cum his ad divinum manus mea reddere tibi, divina aspectu"

You blink once, twice, thrice. Nothing seemed to have changed, "You seem pretty happy to be away from paperwork " you scoff.

He shrugs, "Well, you did declare a reform of hell and a book keeping of deals made of uncollected souls." He sits back down, "The royalties of Hell cannot be kept away from their collections any longer."

You shut your eyes, imagining yourself, your voice and as if you were astral projecting you see yourself with your friends. You were Laughing with Theo and Roz in the halls of Baxter High in your cheer uniform and before you can move a body passes through you, it was Harvey and when you expect him to make a beeline for Roz, he goes straight to you. The other you, leaning down he pecks you on the lips.

You look in shock as this Sabrina seemingly embraces her mortal life with her friends, in the 30 minutes you'd spent watching her, not even a hint of magic or spellcasting, "No. No, she wouldn't do this she loves her family, she loves her magic." You shut your eyes tight indespair and disbelief transporting you back where you were, not catching the way you voice seemed to have reached the other Sabrina's earsas if a whisper.

Lucifer was leaning against his desk, a knowing look plastered on his face, you walk towards him with intent, "That wasn't me. That COULDN'T have been me."

He chuckles lowly, "But in fact it is." He stands up straight, "You both are Sabrina, when Hell replenishes and provides your powers there are two of you which it splits into, and as time goes on, you and your powers get stronger because she has been slowly giving up the path of the night. It's a slow, gruesome process but she seems to think it was worth it, to keep that Kinkle boy around." He says in disgust.

He leans over you, finally taking the whole two Sabrinas situation seriously, "You see, dear daughter, only a single soul may exist in this world, to have two means it is constantly ripping and tearing the two souls apart one going more to the other, and what is a human without a soul?"

You look at him in shock, "And because the powers from Hell are more powerful with me, and she's trying to rid herself of her powers, she-she's-"

He sighs, "She knows." He pinches the bridge of his nose, "She's spoken with me and she knows everything. She only wished to spend her remaining days living a normal life with her friends and family, before she ultimately dies a slow and painful death. This was her last wish, as she's seen a future where her loved ones were killed by the Pagans." He starts pacing back and forth, "You see, the universe has a funny way of correcting itself. This time paradox which she had created was never to be successful in any way because only one Sabrina was ever meant to exist, the only two things that could have happened were you two would by nature absorb into a single being or second, one of you would have died." He shrugs.

"Now what? What then when she dies?"

Lucifer ponders, "Well, it is up to you to juggle these two lives or to choose one path over the other, but I must warn you that Hell has a way of fighting back if you do not respect the order of your binding to the realm." He sighs, plopping back down on his seat, "Now run along, child. I must finish these papers."

You walk along the corridors, before a voice reaches you, the only voice you’d wish you’d heard, his voice was low and calm as he began his prayer.

“Unholy Dark Lord, I know I have sinned against you but I am in service and gratitude to you for bringing Sabrina Spellman into my life. I only wish for you to bring her back to me. I am merely a vessel in your grand plan as your will commands so long as you bring her back to me. You rule over Hell and our lives, my brothers and sisters of the Order of Hecate do not understand our powers are granted by you our unholy savior. In exchange for my willing service if you cannot bring her back to me, I only pray you keep the love of my life from harm.” 

---------------------

You tossed and turned in your bed, unable to sleep. All you could think about was Nick, how the other you had thrown him away and all you wanted was to be with him, to tell him you loved him.

When you opened your eyes you were sat on the couch right in front of the fireplace in Dorian's bar, sitting next to one Nicholas Scratch who you already knew had been there the whole day. He takes another sip from the bottle in his hand and before his mouth touches it, you call him, "Nick."

As if the faintest of whispers reaches his ears, he looks around, catching you off guard.

"Spellman?"

You feel your eyes fill with tears as he looks around, trying so hard to find you, you speak in a clearer, louder voice, "Nick."

As clear as day, his eyes locked on you and he freezes, slowly bringing his hand to your cheek and cupping it, "Is this real? Are you really here with me? The real Sabrina?"

The tears start falling before you nod your head, "Y-yeah Nick, I'm here."

He embraces you tightly, "I-I just knew. I knew that wasn't you. The day you stopped going to the academy and you told me you were leaving behind the path of night to become a mortal, I just knew that it couldn't have been you." Tears start to stream down his face, “I’m never letting you go, Spellman. Not anymore, now that you’re back.”

You freeze, reluctantly, you clear the air, “Nick, I-I’m not actually back-I, I took the role as Queen of Hell. It’s my domain now.” You can’t seem to find the strength to look him in the eyes, “I’m not even really here. I’m in my bedroom, probably levitating while I meditate my physical and astral body here. Nick, I-I love you, but I can’t give up Hell, I don’t want to anymore. This is my destiny, and even if I did, the hierarchies of Hell would never let me.”

The giant grin on his face slowly lowers to a frown in realization, “H-Hell? You live there now? What happened to the Sabrina here?”

You shake your head, “It’s a time paradox. I’m from this time, but her, well she’s from a different timeline where Caliban was crowned King of Hell and you all died.”

He looks into your eyes, mind made up, and a determination burning in them, “You said before we broke up that you’d give it all up… for me, you would give up your destiny, Hell, Heaven, Earth, you’d give everything up for me.” You didn’t like where this was going because if he was going to make you choose, you knew you would choose Hell, “And Spellman, being apart from you only made everything all the more obvious, I thought my destiny was to become the best warlock of the Church of Night, but now I know my destiny has always been to be by your side-” He holds your hand tenderly in his, “Holding your hand as we travel and explore the path of night together and discover our place in the Underworld. I don’t ever want you to give up your place as Queen of Hell, I know this is what your were meant to do, but I would never ever let you go again, Spellman.”

You shake your head, “Nick, I don’t understand what you’re saying-”

He grasps your hand tighter in his, “What I’m saying is, Spellman, I’d follow you anywhere, even through the gates of Hell because you will always be worth it. Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be because it’s where I’m meant to be.”

You blink away the tears in your eyes, relieved Nick finally opened up to you, “Nick.” You hug him tight, “You’re willing to leave behind everything and everyone, the world, to be with me in Hell?”

He nods confidently, “I don’t care about the world, Spellman. I just care about you.” He leans in pressing his lips against yours as you come back to your physical realm and teleport him to Hell.

He breathes a sigh of relief, “Spellman.” He embraces you, “I love you, Spellman.”

You tuck your head into the crook of his neck, “I love you too, Nick.”

[cosmi-trashbin]

Voxman Ship Meme (REPOST)

(Note: This is adapted and edited from a ship meme pulled off of a long-deactivated blog. The newer edits include my take on K.O. visiting Professor Venemous on weekends.

Big thanks to @enlightenedrobot for saving one of my personal favorites of the asks I received. I’m still in love with the idea of bite-sized speculative fiction about the hypothetical domestic lives of two dumbass mad scientists and their big adoptive family.)

Who snores?

When Lord Boxman snores, it sounds like a chorus of chainsaws chopping trees. It drives Professor Venemous crazy, but he can’t complain. Apparently, he grinds his teeth with the ferocity of ten cats dragging their claws down chalkboards. These two have to sleep in separate bedrooms or they’d murder each other.

It pains Boxman since he loves to-no, needs to-cuddle. Boxman will chug two energy drinks and screw up his sleep schedule for a week if it means getting to spoon with his sleeping husband for a few hours. He has ample competition, though. Fink, Raymond, Darell, and even K.O. take turns sleeping in Venemous’ room to assuage nightmares or just because Venemous is the warmer, more affectionate parent. Raymond, Darrell, and K.O. tend to accommodate Boxman and gladly include him. It takes Boxman awhile, but he eventually comes to enjoy the family huddle pile (even if this includes K.O., but he’d never openly admit it).

Fink is the exception. She’ll snarl and bark like a guard dog until Boxman reluctantly retreats back to his room.

Who takes out the trash?

At first, Venemous and Fink take turns taking out the trash. After a bitter argument about unfair chore schedules, Boxman was supposed to take over that chore. Instead, he delegates it to Darell, Shannon, and Raymond. Between the three bots, hope that Darell or Shannon lost the latest no-holds-barred tussle for who has to do it. If it’s Raymond, the trash just sits there and rots.

The headache stops entirely once K.O. starts visiting on weekends. He gladly picks up the chore, as well as many others, leaving Boxmore just a little cleaner than it normally is. K.O.’s cleanliness is almost enough to sell Boxman on the idea of eventually recruiting the little goody-goody full time.

Who hands out candy vs who takes the kid(s) trick or treating?

A week before Halloween, Boxman buys out all of the best candy. On Halloween night, Boxmore is a hotspot for trick or treaters because he hands out jumbo candy bars, homemade caramel apples, and even popcorn balls. He knows kids by name, takes requests, and has a waiting list of clients two miles long. His rationale? The bigger and flashier his Halloween offerings, the less foot traffic Gar’s Bodega gets. He’ll quash Gar by cutting his bottom line. (That’s Boxman’s cover story, but really, Halloween is just his favorite holiday).

As if this weren’t enough, Darell, Shannon, Raymond, and others ambush the Bodega all night with over-the-top Halloween related pranks or attacks. Gar usually works these shifts by himself since it’s an important family holiday for Enid, K.O. will probably go trick or treating with Carol, and Rad would find endless excuses to sneak over to Boxmore anyway.

Venemous is the trick or treat chaperone. He loves the holiday because it tends to be his best opportunity to bond with Fink. He lets her go nuts: She terrorizes unsuspecting citizens, steals kids’ candy, and threatens people at the door for their entire candy stash. While Fink brings home an ungodly large stash, Venemous refuses to let her eat all of it at once. He’s still supposed to be a responsible boss/parent in some capacity after all. K.O. tags along with Venemous and Fink on one Halloween after the big reveal. Apparently, Halloween is a good enough excuse for a truce between Fink and T.K.O. The results were so disastrous both Carol and Venemous agree that K.O. exclusively spends Halloween with her or his friends. No exceptions.

Who goes to parent/teacher conferences?

Venemous attends parent/teacher conferences more than he likes to. It usually boils down to: He nods and smiles for an hour, then bribes the principal to clear up Fink’s record. When he starts dating Boxman, he forces him to tag along to make the experience more bearable. Of course, Boxman acts as obnoxious as possible while Venemous pretends to be the embarrassed and utterly mortified “Excuse my buffoon partner” parent. After the fourth parent/teacher conference with Boxman, Fink’s boarding school just gives up.

Carol encourages Venemous to attend at least one of K.O.’s parent/teacher conferences in an attempt to “better include him in K.O.’s life.” It goes surprisingly well, despite some of Venemous’ catty comments; well enough that Carol, Venemous, and Mr. Gar can coordinate to go in each other’s stead if one or the other gets too busy. Venemous insists on getting a full report of K.O.’s progress every time, brags about his “smart little boy” for weeks, and makes Fink very jealous of her step-sibling.

Who packs a lunch for the other to take to work?

Boxman makes a point of preparing a lunch for his ‘gorgeous, successful’ partner everyday. He’s a terrible cook. A nightmarishly terrible cook. But, Venemous takes the heart-shaped boxes with burnt pot roast and limp greenbeans anyway because he appreciates the gesture.

Who leaves clothes all over the floor/in the laundry basket vs who puts them away?

Boxman has a giant “dirty clothes” pile in the corner of his room. The only clothes he’s very careful, even anal, about getting thoroughly cleaned and professionally pressed are his theatrical costumes. Costumes and presentation are actually a key bonding point between he and Raymond. Venemous encourages Boxman to go out once a week with Raymond clothes shopping and getting suits pressed or whatever else. Raymond is eternally grateful to Venemous for this, but he’s still trying to convince his more fashionable dad to join them. It’d be nice if Raymond had backup to get Boxman to back down on some of his more questionable fashion choices. 

In contrast, Venemous is very careful about hanging his turtlenecks and lab coats, knows the best dry cleaning locations available, and gets the high-grade laundry detergent he can find. He doesn’t mind stains since he usually ends up with mud stains or crayon marks on his clothes after spending quality time with Fink. He just likes to make sure he’s presentable for clients and rivals alike.

Who organizes the DVDs and books?

Venemous has an extensive personal library he organizes alphabetically and according to how ‘evil’ the subject matter is. He’s particular about where he places books and DVDs in his private collection, but he lets everyone else keep ‘organized chaos.’ He only makes comments or asks them to clean up if the mess is in the main room or a tripping hazard.

The way he sees it, happy minions and families should be able to keep their private space and belongings arranged however they please.

Who has a million magazine subscriptions?

Boxman is notoriously bad about signing up for any flashy-looking magazine or service out there. There’s so many that come in every other week Venemous has to sort through them to pick out which are salvageable and which are garbage. Most ends up in the trash, but he does keep POINT gossip rags in the bathroom cupboard for grins.

Boxman is just barely trumped by how many teen-girl magazines Shannon orders. Every time a new magazine comes in, Venemous gets a death glare from Shannon until they figure out if it’s Boxman trash or her precious new Tigerbeat.

Who has a name for the stray neighborhood cat?

Venemous keeps tabs on the stray neighborhood cats to protect them from Fink. He’s been at it so long he named them to make it easier to keep track. At some point, Boxman joined in and started naming cats, too. He also turned their nightly antics into a needlessly complex and dramatic soap opera.

Venemous rolls his eyes every time Boxman ‘recaps’ the latest episode of Alley Cats to him at the breakfast table. And, every time, Boxman sneaks a look at Fink before winking slyly at Venemous. When Venemous does his Captain Picard facepalm, he feels like it’s a miracle Fink hasn’t found out about his watching out for the cats yet. 

When K.O. discovers his dad’s soft spot for cats, he melts and goes on about how he knew Venemous had a heart somewhere. Every time, Venemous shuts him down with a cruel comment about handing over one of the cats to Fink. If K.O. pushes too much, he describes what Fink might do in horribly graphic, gruesome detail.

Who walks around naked at night and forgets the living room window is open?

Every Saturday evening, Boxman claims the living room to himself to watch his shows (a very melodramatic and sappy soap opera he doesn’t want anyone to know he watches). At exactly 8 pm, Boxman shuffles towards his kitchen for a snack stark naked. He always forgets that the living room curtains are wide open. Or, more accurately, he leaves them open because he ‘likes the breeze.’

Rad and Enid dread Saturday night shifts. They fight over who gets their 15-minute break at 8 pm to avoid the sight that’s the stuff of nightmares. Rad usually loses whatever game they picked to decide and no matter how hard he tries, he can’t look away when Boxman does his weekly snack shuffle.

The snack shuffle abruptly ends when Fink decides she wants the TV at that exact day and time to watch wrestling. Boxman gets out-voted and overpowered by everyone, including K.O., making a family night out of it. Sometimes, even Gar and Carol join in on the fun.

[marvel-lucy]

Kidnapping 101

A case of mistaken identity by some poorly trained Hydra agents 

I don’t think I ever posted this on here, only on AO3.  But I’m re-reading my old fics and feeling needy for validation so I’m going to repost it anyway, even though it’s two years old :)

-----

You weren’t supposed to be here. This was not in your calendar for today and you hated unscheduled meetings. You were pretty sure this kind of work wasn’t mentioned in your job description from Stark Industries either. And you had no idea if you could claim expenses for this – how would you code ‘damaged by Hydra during torture’ on the finance system...?

It was possible you were getting a little delirious

Earlier

You were the third person to find out that Pepper was pregnant, after her doctor and Tony. You weren't technically supposed to know, but after the second time you'd gone to look for her when she was late for a meeting, only to find her throwing up in her office's private bathroom, she took you into her confidence.

You'd been working with her for over a year now and right up until this moment you'd have said you were confident in your abilities. You had a law degree, you had a Masters in Business Administration, you had experience, but right now you felt as if you were the lowliest work experience kid, dressed in your Mom's too-big clothes and about to cry.

Pepper was due in a big meeting, right now, and instead she was lying on her bathroom floor, a mess. You'd accompanied her to all the previous meetings and knew the situation inside out but now she'd asked you to go cover for her. Alone.

It should be simple, right? It was a meeting about some new tech that another organisation wanted to link up with Stark on. Most of the details had been thrashed out, this was mostly just a show-around, glad-handing type, with a little bit of legal wrangling over croissants and fake smiles. You’d have a couple of legal assistants with you, you just had to not promise anything while sounding as if you were agreeing to all they said.

So, you grabbed documents, iPad, pen, paper. Straightened your skirt, brushed your hair off your face, plastered on a smile of fake confidence and hoped you didn’t make a deal that ended up bringing down the firm.

Of course, as it turned out, that might have been preferable. You’d entered the room, shaking hands and smiling and thanking them for coming, surprised rather at the amount of muscle in the room – you were used to the Avengers and their multitude of biceps and abs, but you didn’t usually see it in business meetings. Still, healthy lifestyles were obviously catching on. You offered coffee but head Muscleman (shit, you hadn’t caught his name. In fact, you hadn’t even introduced yourself. Too late now, nod and smile nod and smile) wanted to look around, his Muscleminions nodding in agreement. So you set off, chatting inanely, leaving the assistants to set up the paperwork. 

Mr Muscle asked to start the tour at the top, saying he’d heard the view from the top of Stark Tower was amazing, so you all squeezed into an elevator and headed up. You tried making small talk with one of the minions, a woman standing next to you but she looked at you pretty blankly and you decided that most of these suits were obviously here to make up the numbers, to impress Pepper.

“So, we’re as high as we can go now, as you can see New York does look pretty good from up here! As new business partners, you will of course be invited to Mr. Stark’s regular parties up…. HEY, what the…. Mmmmmffffff!”

Ms Muscleminion had grabbed you from behind and now had her hand clamped over your mouth. You kicked and struggled but there were far more of them than you, and suddenly one of the others was approaching, needle in hand.“Hail Hydra” he said, as he stabbed the needle into your thigh. You heard the sound of a helicopter approaching and everything went dark.

--

Next thing you knew, you were in a stereotypical evildoers’ lair. Honestly, you’d think Hydra could afford something other than underground-car-park chic or the abandoned-warehouse-aesthetic. Hysteria was setting in apparently. 

You were tied to a chair and had a feeling that bad things were going to happen. Yeah, this was definitely not on your ‘to do’ list for today.You were starting to feel uncomfortable. Your head ached from whatever drug they’d given you, your arms and legs were hurting from being held in one position, you were thirsty and you were seriously pissed off. There was a reason that you were called SheHulk on occasion; you were known for your temper.

The door opened and the man from the business meeting entered again. He pulled up a chair near you, scraping the metal across the floor. Presumably this was supposed to menace you but you rolled your eyes at the cliché.“So, Ms Potts, I assume you’re intelligent to understand you are now our hostage. Mr Stark will, I’m sure, provide us with whatever we desire, to ensure your safe return.” He grinned at you, and you couldn’t help but grin back. Oh god, they thought you were Pepper, this was hysterical (OK, maybe it wasn’t, but you weren’t thinking straight). You remembered realising you’d forgotten to introduce yourself in your nerves about the meeting. And they weren’t the first to make the mistake – even Tony had groped you by accident from behind at a party once, you and Pepper had identical hair after all. And they had been expecting Pepper… You opened your mouth to correct him then gulped and shut it hurriedly. They were not going to keep some assistant alive and healthy when they realised their mistake. You were going to need to play along.

“Tony doesn’t bargain with Hydra.” You eyed the man as your aching brain tried to think about what Pepper would do, what you should do, what they’d do…“Oh I think he will when he sees what we’re capable of, Ms Potts.” He grinned again and suddenly you weren’t feeling like grinning again.

A couple of his goons set up a laptop, its webcam aimed at you. That little part of your brain that was in hysterical mode wanted to ask what the wi-fi reception was like under all this concrete but luckily the rest of your brain was too busy panicking to listen.

All turned on and set up, you could see yourself on the laptop screen. You didn’t look great to be honest, they obviously hadn’t been too gentle carrying your unconscious body; there were scrapes across your face, dirty marks on your suit and your hair – Pepper’s hair – was every which way.

“Mr Stark, as you can see, we have Ms Potts. She is well… for now. That can change. You will find a list of our requirements at the end of this broadcast, along with details for how to contact us. You have one hour.”

You knew you needed to get Tony to play along when he saw this, not let on that you weren’t Pepper, so before they turned off the recording, you quickly spoke.

“Tony, it’s Pep here. Who knew Hydra would want to kidnap Pepper Potts, right…?” 

That was all you had time for before a resounding slap around the side of your head silenced you. You bit your tongue as your head snapped sideways and the real fear started.The three Hydra agents picked up the laptop and moved away from you, talking. You listened as hard as you could to their conversation.

“So what do we do? Email it?”

“No, he can trace the signal. Put it on a DVD?”

“What and post it?”

“No, idiot, that’ll take forever. Get a messenger. You do know how to burn a DVD?”

“I can google it…”

Oh. My. God. Apparently you’d been kidnapped by the least competent bad guys ever. Were they… trainees?! How humiliating!

“Look, we have to get this right, go get the DVD sorted, we have to be quick.”

“Yeah, does the one-hour deadline start from when we stopped recording or when he sees it? I mean, what if he doesn’t watch the DVD!?”

Great. Were you going to have to give them Kidnapping 101 just so they could get this right?!

“We’ve got to get that tech before the weekend. Once the General is back, we have to have something to show him or else he’s going to skin us!”

You are kidding, right. This wasn’t just a Kidnapping by Kids, it was unauthorised? What, they were trying to get extra credit on their Hydra Degrees by being proactive? You let out a groan and let your head drop, drawing their attention to you. They shifted and all headed out of the room, presumably to choose their favourite fonts for the ransom note. Jeez, I bet they wrote it in Comic Sans.

Once they’d gone, you were still in the same position. Tied up, uncomfortable, ear ringing still from the slap and the iron taste of blood in your mouth. To be honest, you also needed to use the bathroom, which did not put you in a better frame of mind.

They left you there for what felt like hours, while you wriggled your arms and legs inside their bonds in an attempt to get free. You could feel the bonds loosening – presumably they’d never got their ‘knot tying’ girl scout badge – but when the door opened again you felt yourself tensing up.

“He hasn’t responded. Why hasn’t he responded?!” The larger man put his face close to yours as he shouted and you could see the anger and anxiety in his face. A dangerous combination, he had a lot to prove it seemed and you were the material he had to prove himself on.

The laptop was set up again and the man stood behind you, grabbing your hair tight in his fist and yanking your head back. You let out a gasp of pain.

“Mr Stark. Do you really value your fiancée’s life so little? Would you like her returned piece by piece? You have the phone number you need, ring us within an hour of receiving this, unless you enjoy seeing your Ms Potts suffer”

At that, things took a turn for the serious, as the woman from the lift stepped forward and punched you in the stomach. You jerked forward involuntarily, but yelled out as the grip on your hair tightened. Unable to lean forward to relieve the pain, you gasped, winded. The SheHulk was released however and you started shouting.

“You piece of shit, you fuckers, Tony, blow this whole place up I don’t care!” You shook side to side in your chair, trying to loosen your bonds further, but another blow to your stomach left you unable to breathe again and dizzy from pain.The Hydra agents gathered up their things and left again.

The next time they appeared, after another agonising wait, you had regained your breath but not your temper. Your stomach ached and you were running on adrenaline. You’d managed to work all bar one of your bonds loose and were just working on the last when they reappeared.

“Mr Stark wants more proof that you are alive”. A phone was pressed against your ear.

“‘Pepper’, that you? Can you keep talking for a bit…?”

“Tony darling, I’m cold and sore in this damn underground bunker and I am going to claim so much damn overtime…”

“Enough.” The phone was taken away from your ear. That probably wasn’t enough to trace a call but it depended on how long Tony had been talking to the Hydra idiot before you and how long they talked now.

“You have our list Mr Stark, and the location for the drop… I don’t care if you don’t have all the components, you have to find them… Well I said one hour! Ok fine, two. OK FINE, THREE. You have three hours that should be more than sufficient to gather things from your other base. No you can’t talk to her again. No. Just shut up! OK fine!”

The phone was held up against your ear again.“You doing OK kid? This’ll all be over soon. Sooner than they may expect. Just don’t do anything stupid OK?”

“How can I, they’ve got all the stupid here” You grinned. ‘Sooner than they may expect’ made you think they were on their way.

The phone call was cut off and the man backhanded you across the face, probably for your rudeness. You spat out blood at him and he saw red. Perhaps he could sense this slipping away from him – kidnappers generally didn’t end up conceding so much to their victims, but Tony was good at that.

He went to punch you again but at that point, you really did hulk out. You pulled your arms and legs free from the loosened bonds just as he lunged forwards, and threw yourself sideways. Your legs nearly gave way after being tied up for so long, so you grabbed at the chair for support, then when he came at you with a roar, threw it at his face, stamping your feet and shaking your arms to get the feeling back, and regretting it as the pins and needles started. That just threw you into an even worse mood.

“I. Fucking. Hate. Pins and Needles. You bastard!”. As heroic lines go, it probably needed work, but your adrenaline was racing and your heart was pounding and you were furious. You threw yourself down as he ran at you again, knocking his legs out from under him, then pummelling his face before rolling him over and yanking his arms up behind him.

“Did you really think anyone working with Stark didn’t get to train with the Avengers, you MORON?”

You grabbed at the rope that had tied you to the chair and had him hog-tied within seconds, just in time as the other two came in the door and saw what you were doing. Your blood was up and your legs were working now and it was no great effort to take down two poorly trained and obviously low level Hydra fools, not when you had compulsory training with Captain America and Black Widow three times a week.

“THIS WASN’T ON MY SCHEDULE!!” You shouted as your arms blurred with the speed of your punches. Even with the two of them attacking you, it was no great effort and within a few minutes both were lying on the ground groaning. You panted hard, then looked up at the sound of applause.

Tony Stark, Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson were all leaning against the wall near the door, watching you and clapping.

“You bastards!” You panted, hands on knees. “You couldn’t have joined in?”

“Oh you looked like you were having way too much fun, ‘Pepper’. I know you hate it when I interfere in your business meetings.” 

The men walked towards you as Stark spoke, Rogers reaching you first and holding you up. Despite the sarcasm, you could see the concern on their faces at what you might have been through.You leant on Tony heavily as you left the room, leaving Sam and Steve to gather up – and laugh at – the Hydra idiots, kidnapping the wrong person and then getting taken down three against one.

Tony hugged you to him and whispered thanks against your hair.

“You owe me Stark. Overtime, a corner office, and…”

“Some more time off?”

“No, you can call the damn baby after me”

-----

@melconnor2007@emilyevanston @kittyslove @badassbaker @phoenix21love @lbouvet  @bellenuit45 @prplprincez  @gingerrootknits @pineapplebooboo @feelmyroarrrr @avengerofyourheart @eyeofdionysus @hellomissmabel @learisa @mitra-k-w @imhereforbvcky @shaddixlife @iwillbeinmynest @amrita31199 @whatsbetterthanfantasy @pixierox101 @edward-lover18 @madcheshire89 @heartfulloffandoms @chipilerendi @kenya-17 @mckorni32843 @amandarosemire @rda89 @nyxveracity @sea040561 @mrsalh32611 @ruinerofcheese @callmebucky-doll @vintagepigeon @bubbasmom @sassycanoodler @ladylorelitany @natcad @thisismysecrethappyplace @mywinterwolf

[thezfc]

I don't know why people still follow that atlanta guy, he's obviously a troll and if he does post something, it'll spread like *insert whatever dirty joke you feel like*

Well and it seems Ponderosa and her minions change their mind about his trustworthiness daily depending on if he sails their ship or not.  Today he claims he DOES have pics at the airport, but that the gf was crying because the airline lost his dog so he will “never post them”. Interesting since back then he claimed he was “too lazy” to bother to take pictures and when one of my mutuals sent him a picture of Zawe and asked if this was who he was with at the airport he claimed he was “too far away” and couldn’t really see them. I concluded he has a source at the airport who tells him when celebs arrive and he decides if he wants to bother to take their pic and he wasn’t even at the airport that day and saw nothing.  NOW Suddenly because it’ getting him attention now he can tell she was crying AND he knows it was Zawe? He’s full of lies.

[weirdthoughtsandideas]

Asoue but it’s three Sunnies

From the twisted mind that did 14 posts about what would happen if the Quagmires and Baudelaires switched places in every book (You can find it by searching ”the Quagmire-Baudelaire switch” on Tumblr) I now bring you the same thing with three Sunny Baudelaires.

I don’t know if this will be fourteen parts or if I’ll squeeze multiple books into one post. And yes, I may or may not turn that Quagmire-Baudelaire switch into a real fanfic one day. If you guys would want me to, of course.

- The bad beginning -

Book! Sunny = Sunny

Movie! Sunny = Suzy

Netflix! Sunny = Sally

Okay since they are toddlers, they aren’t exactly allowed to go to Briny Beach by themselves

What instead happens is that they escape from their strollers while they were to supposed to take a nap in the Baudelaire backyard

(I originally thought of them escaping their cribs from the nursery, but that would have been even darker considering their parents would’ve looked for them and therefore burn to death after not finding them in the mansion)

And by the way, the three Sunnies are triplets if you didn’t understand that

Anyway, the girls crawl away and bite through the large bushes so they get out on the sidewalk

There, they manage to sneak on a trolley to Briny Beach

They don’t do much other than bite on rocks and show off their teeth to each other

Also they always speak in their baby talk and constantly roasts everything and everyone

Anyway, Mr Poe is by coincidence near Briny Beach and immidiately recogonizes the Baudelaire toddlers

He can’t tell them apart at all of course

Poe: ”My dear younglings, what are you doing out here?”

Sunny: ”Mind your damn own business you walking monopoly man”

Poe: ”What? Oh, I need to get you home and have a serious talk with your parents. No one should leave their baby off guard.”

So he carries them in his little car and drives them home

Only to see that their whole house has burned down with the Baudelaire parents inside

And the triplets slowly starts to cry, but they don’t really understand what has actually happened

Poe, who is terrible with children, just try to calm them but fails miserably

So they have to live with the Poes for a while, but they are still a little confused of what has actually happened

Edgar and Albert treat them like aliens and just poke them, tease them and stare at them like aliens

Suzy: ”What are you staring at, you foolish boy?”

Edgar: ”Aww, the babies think they are so smart. But they can’t talk, walk or even use the bathroom like us. They are so stupid.”

Sally: ”We may not know how to use the bathroom, but unknown to you we are plotting world domination. We will kill you all.”

Then mr Poe tells them they are going to move to a new guardian

The triplets are very confused, because they still didn’t quite understand that their parents are dead

Sally: ”Do you think mommy and daddy will pick us up at this ’new guardian’?”

Sunny: ”I have never heard of such a place called new guardian. Hope it’s not far away.”

They arrive and is greeted by Justice Strauss, who just get heart eyes by the sight of these little beings

The triplets get happy because they think they will go with this sweet lady, but instantly get sad when they see the dark house where they are actually going to live in

Suzy: ”Let’s sleep outside.”

Olaf greets them with a very evil looking grin and lets them crawl inside.

Then he just closes the door for mr Poe and turns around to the children.

”Children, you may not understand a thing of what is happening, which is very perfect for me.”

He explains that he wants them to be his little minions, and since they are so small there will be plenty of time to brainwash them into becoming his slaves.

Olaf doesn’t know the girls understand exactly what he is saying and they just chuckle because he sounds so stupid.

”Yes! Laugh all you want. You dumb babies don’t know anything better.”

He then shows them the one bed they have to share, but because the Baudelaires are so small they can fit

But they are also small children who kick and move around a lot in their sleep, so it’s a high possibility they’ll fall out of the bed.

So they sleep on the floor, biting the blanket into three parts.

But in the morning, the girls realise how terrible Olaf really is

He doesn’t help them to get dressed and they have to slowly put on all the clothes themselves, which almost takes an hour to do.

The only food they get to eat is leftovers and spoiled oat meal.

He forces them to clean the house and calling them dumb for not knowing how to scrub properly.

They get no naps, which makes the girls, who normally hated taking naps, incredibly cranky.

Diaper changes is something he won’t even hesitate to do. He forces his acting troup to do it, and they do it very poorly.

The only joy they get is knowing no one can understand them so they can speak with each other secretly

There is no play in this AU. Instead, what happens is that Olaf and his troupe are eating dinner one evening and the girls decides to give the man a little of his own medicine

Olaf: ”What is it now? You can get a slice of the roast beef later if you shut up.”

Suzy: ”It’s time for you to pay for your crimes”

And so the triplets attack Olaf, biting him on various parts of his body and climbing on him

But Olaf manages to get them off, and lifts Sally up in the air

Sally gets to frightened she yells ”Mama!” in panic

Olaf frowns. ”Your mama isn’t here. She and your daddy died in that fire that destroyed your home. That’s why you are with me, and it has come to my understanding that you three can not be alone together.”

With that, he goes up to the tower and locks Sally in a cage

Then he locks Suzy in their room.

And then, he tells Sunny to take care of the dishes.

But as soon as Sunny gets left alone, she escapes to Justice Strauss.

Strauss is like ”Sunny, is it? Why are you so smelly and dirty? Did something happen, where are your siblings?”

And Sunny just starts crying, because she just don’t know how to explain.

Strauss considers giving the poor girl a bath or let her eat something

But she knows that something bad is going on and asks Sunny if she can show what’s wrong

Sunny desperately points to the tower and Strauss sees a tiny cage with a foot inside

”Is that your sister in a cage?”

”Uh-huh.”

So Justice Strauss calls for mr Poe who just groans because it’s late but he says he will come to check. But if Justice Strauss lies, he will be very mad.

Strauss goes over with Sunny to ask Olaf why he has a child in a birdcage

But Olaf changes the subject all the time

Strauss: ”Please answer me, why is there a child in a cage?”

Olaf: ”I see you caught one of the babies sneaking out. Let me have her.”

Sunny: ”Answer the kind justice, you psycotic banana”

Olaf: ”Oh what a nice evening.”

Sunny manages to get out of Justice Strauss arms and crawls as fast as she can to their bedroom.

She bites the lock open and tells Suzy to hurry

Both of them crawl to the tower, but don’t know how to get Sally out.

Unfortunately, the hook handed man captures them both and decides to get them into cages too.

But that gives the girls an idea. They start to swing in their cages back and forth, making the cages almost break.

Mr Poe arrives just in time as the cages break and fall to the ground

But the Baudelaire girls use their teeth to hold their grip

And mr Poe is horrified at what he sees, so he immidiately takes the children, claiming that Olaf is a terrible guardian who lets the children jump off from large heights

And so, they are on their way to their next guardian

This became much longer than intended. Hope you manage to read all of it.

[skylanders-after-the-end]

Royal Showdown

The sun was burning down onto the bright yellow sand of the desert. A seemingly endless landscape with no sign of life. In the middle of it was a shimmering golden tank, rolling across the countless layers of sand, boarded by Sprocket. The Skylander has been travelling on the large island for hours looking for the Golden Queen. According to her tracking device, the villain was supposed to be nearby, yet there was nothing other than sand far and wide. After she passed another sandy hill, Sprocket looked through the periscope of her tank and spotted a blurry object in the distance. She thought that it was a mirage at first, but upon closer inspection, the engineer’s mouth formed a wide grin. It was a palace made of pure gold, similar to Golden Queen’s original home in the Golden Desert.

The Skylander drove up to the stairs leading to the glorious entrance. In the cool safety of the building’s large shadow, Sprocket jumped out of her tank and made it disappear. She observed the giant gate decorated with all kinds of ancient symbols and statues that Sprocket has never seen before. “This is it.” The goldling said to herself before putting her goggles on top of her striking red hair and entering the abandoned residence.

The Golden Queen has taken her rightful place on the throne inside the ancient palace. With a greedy smile, she slid her nails across a technological device which, even though it was highly advanced, was eons old. Almost manically she was tapping onto the screen, making a bright sound with each contact. The queen was certain that this would be her key to success, this would finally make her the sole ruler of the Skylands.

Suddenly the goldling heard something in the distance. An echoing explosion, and then another one. The tall woman arose from her chair and summoned two Arkeyan guards. “Go see what’s going on there!” The queen yelled and the robots followed her order.

When the guards reached the hall outside of the throne room, Golden Queen could see one of them being destroyed by bullets. Shockingly, the other one had a mine tossed towards him before exploding into pieces. Surprised and enraged, the queen grabbed her staff and prepared to face her enemy. What she didn’t expect is to see Sprocket walk through the entrance leading to the throne room. The queen gave the intruder a bewildered look before pointing her staff at her. “It’s you! That foolish Skylander that resisted my powers!”

“Still Sprocket to you.” The engineer replied sassily as she gripped her wrench tightly. “You may have tricked us last time, but you can’t hide from me!”

“I was never trying to hide.” Golden Queen laughed. “I was just biding my time until I found another way to destroy you Skylanders and claim all the gold for myself, and now I finally have!”

As much as Sprocket just wanted to beat the greedy woman down with her wrench, that was not the reason she journeyed here all on her own. “Listen Golden Queen, I didn’t come here to fight.”

The queen snickered. “For once a smart decision.”

Sprocket ignored her comment and went on. “Back on the abandoned island, you weren’t able to turn me into a golden statue. From what I’ve heard, that’s never occurred before.”

The Golden Queen’s confident smile melted into a frown. “Why are you asking me this? I know just as much as you do, it’s impossible!” She proceeded to aim a golden ray at Sprocket which once again showed no effect, much to the queen’s dismay.

The Skylander observed her hands and sighed with relief when she saw that she wasn’t frozen. “I tried to find an explanation, but nothing made sense! Perhaps because of that clone you created I somehow became immune, or maybe even my tech. I just-”

“It doesn’t matter!” Golden Queen shouted as her body emitted a bright light, indicating her rage. “I don’t need my powers to defeat some dirty engineer!” After a few moments of tension which the two enemies spent staring at each other with spite, the queen put another sinister smile on. “In fact, I will defeat you with your own weapons!”

Upon those words, the ruler grabbed the device which she was holding earlier and pressed a button. Behind her throne, the large stone wall parted in the middle and revealed an entire army of ancient Arkeyan Conquertrons standing tidily in rows, waiting patiently for their moment to conquer, as their name suggests. Sprocket tumbled into a state of shock. “My family just so happened to have made a deal with the Arkeyans eons ago, granting us hundreds of their Conquertrons. Now that I have finally discovered them, I will use them to obliterate you Skylanders once and for all!”

Sprocket was expecting to find an answer to her question when she came here, not that Golden Queen had the power to destroy every island in the Skylands if she desired. “No, this can’t be…”

“It certainly can.” The goldling kept her shimmering jewel eyes on Sprocket before deciding to unveil another shocking revelation. Only this time it was personal. “I’m sure you’re dying to know how I was able to fix and reactivate those machines. That’s because I received help from someone you might be familiar with.”

Before Sprocket could even begin to wonder who she was talking about, the queen pressed another button which created a hole in the ground near her out of which a figure emerged. The Tech Skylander had to take a close look. She didn’t want to believe her eyes at first, but her goggles never lied. “Uncle?”

The long lost goldling’s head turned into every direction before he finally laid eyes on his beloved niece. “Sprocket? What are you doing here!?”

The engineer moved her goggles onto her head as her eyes began to tear up, while her uncle Oscar was rather shocked to see her there. “What a heartwarming reunion.” Golden Queen interrupted the moment with another wicked laugh before grabbing the goldling next to her. “Kaos thought that he could get away with kidnapping one of the Skylands’ brightest minds, but I taught him better. Your uncle has been my prisoner ever since! My undead minions have always kept watch over him and eventually brought him here. He’s working for me, which includes the reanimation of the Arkeyans.”

“I had no choice Sprocket! She knew who I was, if I refused her orders, she would have hunted you down!” Oscar desperately explained the twisted situation, hoping that his niece could forgive him for aiding the queen.

“None of this is your fault, uncle.” Sprocket didn’t care about what he was forced to do, her anger was only directed at Golden Queen. “I’m just glad I finally found you.” Through the single tear escaping her eye, Sprocket was able to give her family member a smile.

“Enough of this!” Golden Queen’s patience was wearing thin. “Now that my army is set up and ready to attack, I have no use for either of you.” She grinned as her eyes slowly went from Sprocket to Oscar. “At least this time you’ll get to say goodbye.”

Golden Queen raised her hand and charged up another golden blast before she shot it at the engineer, creating a cloud of sparkling dust around him. “No!” Sprocket shouted and stepped forward as she watched the scene in horror. In the moment of the queen’s apparent triumph, something that no one expected occurred. The sparkling cloud vanished, and Oscar was perfectly fine!

“What!?” Golden Queen was glowing again as she stared at yet another failed attempt to freeze her victim. She couldn’t explain it to herself.

Sprocket’s horrified frown soon shifted into a bright smile when she realized that her uncle managed to resist the queen’s powers as well.

“It can’t be! This is impossible!” Golden Queen’s eyes shot between Sprocket and her uncle. What made them immune to her godly powers? Then she remembered something, and the answer struck her like a lightning bolt. “Unless…”

Sprocket stopped her flash of happiness when she spotted the look on the bewildered goldling’s face. Did she finally have the answer she was looking for? “Unless what?”

Golden Queen inhaled and stared at Sprocket. She threw her a look of blank shock and disgust. “There were some who were also able to resist my powers, a long time ago.” Golden Queen had to take another breath before finally revealing the truth. “While my parents turned into solid gold with a single touch, my siblings were immune to those powers. That’s why I had to banish them instead.”

Sprocket’s eyes went from Golden Queen to her uncle, and it didn’t take them long to figure out what that meant. “Wait, does that mean we’re your siblings’-”

“Descendants.” Golden Queen finished the sentence. “We share the same bloodline.” With utter disgust, the queen turned her sight back to Oscar. “And that means you will steal the throne from me, and my precious gold!” She grabbed her relative by the collar of his shirt and tossed him into the pit in front of the platform she was standing on, letting him fall down into the dark depths of the palace.

“Uncle!” Sprocket hurried to the edge of the pit as her uncle’s scream still echoed through the room, but Oscar was gone.

“I won’t let my family take away what’s rightfully mine.” Sprocket lifted her head to give the enraged queen a death glare. “You will not defeat me. Ever!”

And with that, Golden Queen slammed her staff onto the rocks beneath her feet which caused the floor underneath Sprocket to split apart and send her falling down the pit as well. The Skylander screamed as she fell deeper and deeper, until there was nothing left but darkness.

It was all black. Nothing to hear and nothing to see. Slowly a voice grew increasingly louder until the words became clear enough to understand. “Sprocket! Sprocket, wake up!” The Tech Skylander came back to her senses and opened her eyes. Her uncle Oscar’s worried face above her turned into a relieved smile. “Oh, thank the Ancients you’re alright.”

Sprocket pushed her upper body up and observed her surroundings. They were sitting in a pit flooded with sand and tall stone walls wherever she turned. Then she looked back at her uncle and lit up with joy. “Uncle!” She threw her arms around him before the man returned a warm embrace. “I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Me too kid, me too.” The engineers held onto each other for what felt like an eternity before separating with a smile. “Just look at you! You’re a grown woman!” Oscar had to comment on his niece’s new look. “And I see that you were able to escape the prison you called home.” The last time he saw her she still had long hair and wore tight dresses in favor of her mother.

“Heh, I sure did.” Sprocket completely forgot that her uncle doesn’t even know of her role as a Skylander yet. It made her feel some kind of sadness. She would’ve loved to share every little detail with him throughout her journey. “After the grand raid years ago it all went downhill. They couldn’t afford the luxurious lifestyle anymore and the town was ruined. Many people left, they practically fled. Even mother saw no reason for me to stay there, so she let me go. Of course, she would have preferred for me to get married to a wealthy lord and become a loyal housewife, but she finally accepts me the way I am and supports my dreams.”

Oscar only smiled lightly, but it was a proud smile. “I never thought I’d see the day where she changes for the better.”

There were hundreds of things Sprocket wanted to talk about, but she had to focus on what was going on right now. She turned her head around looking for an exit, but they were trapped. “We have to find a way out of here.” The Tech Skylander got on her feet and started to move all the golden junk out of the way in hopes of finding something that could help them.

“Sprocket, why did you come here?” Oscar lifted himself up as well and questioned his niece while she inspected a bunch of mechanical pieces. “You know how dangerous the Golden Queen is.”

“Well, she’s certainly less dangerous to us than anyone else.” Sprocket reminded her uncle of the fact that they were related to the queen which made them immune to her powers. “Can you believe that we’re members of the royal goldling family?” She stopped her search to give her companion a jarring look. “And I thought being a high-class goldling was bad!”

Oscar giggled. “I’m sure at least your mother will be thrilled to find out.”

The two goldlings laughed before they both continued to look for a way out. Besides some objects turned golden like pots, shackles and even some chompies, there wasn’t much for the inventors to work with. Suddenly, Sprocket noticed a shimmering light in the corner of her eye and turned her head to see a sparkling red jewel buried in the sand. “Hey, what’s that over there?”

The goldlings approached the mysterious object and removed some of the sand around it, just to see that the jewel was attached to some red and golden metal. “Wait, could it be?” Oscar recognized the shape and colors. However, the look on his face indicated that it wasn’t a good thing.

“Stand back.” Sprocket advised her uncle before she placed a mine into the sand nearby and moved away as it exploded, setting the object underneath partially free. After seeing what it was, the Skylander was in awe. “No way!”

The engineers were looking at the head of an Arkeyan Conquertron. It must have fallen down here eons ago and be forgotten. While her uncle had a bad feeling about this, Sprocket was certain that this was their way out.

“I can fix it! Then we can use it to get out of here!” The Tech Skylander didn’t hesitate and used her mechanical skills on the giant robot.

Oscar watched as his eager niece removed some metal plates to get a look at the machinery inside and do everything in her power to reactivate it. As happy as he was to see her living her dreams, he couldn’t let her engage with such a deadly weapon. “Sprocket, we should think about this.”

“Don’t worry uncle, I’ll have this rusty robot working in no time!” The engineer proceeded to remove a few bolts with her wrench and fiddle with some cables and gears.

“No Sprocket, listen. I’ve spent years fixing such machines for the queen, even those Arkeyans recently. If there’s anything I found out about them, is that they’re programmed to destroy, nothing else.” Sprocket slowed her work down while her uncle was explaining his worries, but nevertheless kept going. “We’ll find another way out, but please don’t activate that thing. Who knows what it will do once it awakes?”

Sprocket stopped typing in codes and reconnecting cables from another open part of the Conquertron. She turned her head to her uncle with a doubtful look. “But I can do this! I’ll just reprogram it so it does what we want it to. You have to trust me!”

“I trust you Sprocket but you’re meddling with things you don’t understand!” Oscar watched in fear as his niece returned to her work on the Arkeyan. “I can’t let you do this!”

Sprocket stopped again, only this time she didn’t look at her uncle. “You sound just like her.” Oscar had a worried look on his face before the goldling turned around with rage. “I’m sick of being told what I can’t do!”

Oscar carefully reached out to the angered Skylander. “Sprocket-”

“No, I’m going to fox this!” Filled with new determination, the Skylander got back to work. “Just because every other Arkeyan behaved like that doesn’t mean that this one has to be the same!” With an even quicker pace than before, she went on by dismantling the Conquertron and using her wrench and the energy stored in her left glove to get it working again. “I am going to show you that it can break free and it can be different, no matter what anyone says!” Oscar looked up in surprise when his niece suddenly began glowing in an orange hue. “I will prove that I’m not worthless! I can be whoever I want to be, and I can achieve whatever I set my mind to!”

Oscar had to take some steps back and cover his eyes while Sprocket was fully engulfed in a bright light and began to transform. The light ceased, and Sprocket reappeared with a new look. Her armor has changed from the royal blues to golden orange colors with gears around her wrists and an improved gas bottle on her back. Her wrench gained a striped pattern and golden bolts at the end, making it even more efficient than before. Her golden skin was now a shimmering platinum and she sported goggles with a dashed pattern on them.

While Oscar still had to process his niece’s unexpected transformation, she didn’t even bother to look at herself and instead went on with fixing the Arkeyan. Suddenly, as she was using her new wrench and powered up glove, the robot finally moved. Sprocket took that as a sign and directed the energy source on her glove at the machine. It unleashed a white beam of energy that surged through the bolts and gears of the Conquertron. The entire ground was trembling. The goldlings observed as the Arkeyan rose from the sand and stood in front of them in all its glory, breaking some pieces of the pit in the process. Sprocket wasn’t done however. Changing the beam from a white to an orange color, the Arkeyan began to transform as well. The red metal parts changed their shapes and turned into blue colors instead, only keeping the head red. The entire body was shifting and turning, resulting in an entirely new kind of Arkeyan, one that Sprocket created.

When she was done, the Tech Skylander turned around to face her uncle with a smile until she realized that she has changed as well. Before she could take a proper look at herself, the goldling glowed once more and returned to her regular appearance. “What was that?”

“I’m not sure.” Oscar approached his niece while keeping his eyes on the brand new Arkeyan in front of them and putting his arm around its owner. “But whatever it was, it’s gonna get us out of here.”

Golden Queen was reveling in her triumph. With pride and newfound greed, she looked over her army of Arkeyan Conquertrons. “Today, the Skylands will fall under my power at last!” She let out a manic laugh that echoed throughout the entire palace as the lifeless machines stood there, obediently waiting for an order.

That moment was interrupted by an earthquake which grew stronger with each second. Golden Queen turned around with fury as Sprocket’s Arkeyan burst through the ground in front of her throne. Using the jet engines it possessed on its feet, the Skylander was able to reach new heights and cause more destruction than ever before. “It’s over Golden Queen, give up or we will make you!”

The goldling queen was glowing in a radiant light. “Never! I will not be defeated by some peasants! I will have all the gold in the Skylands!”

Golden Queen ran towards her army of Arkeyans, when suddenly an energy blast was shot from behind her and blew up dozens of the robots. The queen watched in horror as Sprocket destroyed one row after the other, causing the palace to crumble down as well. All until there was nothing left that the Golden Queen could use.

“I tried to warn you, maybe now you’ll finally know when you’ve lost.” Even though the villainess has done terrible things and was too far gone to be redeemed, Sprocket and Oscar decided to spare her and instead leave the palace.

As the goldlings were about to exit, Golden Queen used the arm of one of the destroyed Conquertrons and turned it into liquid gold. She coated her right arm with it, making it grow drastically. After the modified Arkeyan blasted a hole through the ceiling and was about to fly off, Golden Queen used her enlarged arm to grab its leg. She dug her razor-sharp nails into the metal and attempted to drag the Skylander and her uncle down, but they wouldn’t let her win that easily. Sprocket pointed the robot’s arm at the queen and used a laser to cut her enormous arm off. As the goldling shrieked in pain and grabbed what was left of her limb, she gave the Skylander one last spiteful glare before they left through the ceiling and made the entire palace collapse.

Once outside, the Arkeyan turned around so that the engineers could take a look at the ruins. No sign of the Golden Queen nor her Conquertrons, she was finally defeated.

“She had it coming.” Oscar commented and gave his niece a smile, reassuring her that she did what had to be done.

“We can’t save someone who doesn’t want to be saved.” Sprocket added and sighed.

As they were observing the ruins, both goldlings noticed a strange light in the distance. Sprocket decided to get closer and what they saw left them speechless. It was a brown orb in the midst of the ruins, yet it wasn’t buried underneath the debris. Instead the rocks nearby were orbiting it. Neither of them knew what that was, but they knew that they couldn’t just leave it there. Sprocket extended the Arkeyan’s arm and grabbed the mystical object. She enclosed it inside a containment capsule and stored it safely. After taking another look at the destroyed building, the goldlings finally left.

Moments after their departure, another bright light shined through the debris. Suddenly Golden Queen’s shortened arm emerged out of the rocks. Using her ancient powers, she was able to regrow the rest of her arm and smash her hand onto a broken stone. She then pulled her upper body out. Her crown has fallen off her head and strands of her straight golden hair covered part of her face. Never before has she been this furious. “This is not over, Sprocket!”

[thebigpapilio]

Truth Behind Lies: The Tenth Parisona!

Derived from the prompt “The sidekick being injected with a toxin that makes them see their hero telling them that they’re worthless, a mistake, a disappointment, that they’re not good enough for the hero, never were and never will be.”

The wielder-to-be (by the way, this is a sequel to Devil Bruel) will surprise you, I think.

Lila Rossi, contrary to what those who knew the truth about her would say, was sick of lying.

It was too easy nowadays to trick people, and she didn’t like making enemies, but lying her way to the top was all she had known. Allying herself with Hawkmoth was presented to her when she’d been stressed and not able to think straight, and while it may seem like she hated Ladybug, she just disagreed with her. Threatening to ruin Marinette’s social life was an outlier in how far down the drain she’d gone, and she’d done some serious self-reflection once she got home from that bathroom meeting.

Lila wanted to make things right, but her mother, who had dealt in some dirty tricks herself and had been Lila’s role model for a time, would most likely not take kindly to her doing so. Lila would have told her about Hawkmoth, but she wasn’t entirely sure of how Mariana Rossi would react, so she’d kept quiet. 

All the inner turmoil had attracted Hawkmoth once more, and since she was basically playing Adrien’s role - albeit working for Hawkmoth instead of Gabriel (not that there was much difference) - he must have thought she’d love to take on an akuma.

This time, however, she decided against it. When the akuma entered, she lied her way out of playing minion, claiming she was having a bad day and would not be at her top performance. Surprisingly, Hawkmoth relented, and Lila relaxed… until later that day, when her mom became an akuma.

The Crimson Diplomat was targeting Lila and her classmates for reasons unknown; well, they were unknown until she cornered the young ex-liar after temporarily fending off the local heroes. 

With a blast that hit Lila directly, Lila found herself in a foggy realm once she could see straight, with no one else around but her and Ladybug, strangely

“You’re despicable,” the heroine began, “do you really think you’re beyond redemption? You went too far this time, and I expect no one will ever forgive or forget you and your sins.”

Lila quickly figured out this wasn’t actually Ladybug - her form seemed somewhat foggy, like the illusions Volpina created. Realizing this, the fog cleared, and Lila overheard some things from the floor where she’d fallen. 

Apparently, Hawkmoth had “let it slip” that Lila was working with him but had cut ties - of course he was more attentive than he had given off - and Madame Rossi didn’t want the negative spotlight of Hawkmoth spreading to her. Lila was angered when she was told this - was Lila nothing but a method of gaining or loss for her mother? - to the point that Ladybug, Chat Noir & the enigmatic new hero Sledge were cornered just in time to hear Lila declare, “I may have done some unforgivable things in the past… but that is why I have to atone for them. Don’t you dare try and hold me back any longer!”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Almost as if waiting for Lila to come to terms with the awfulness of her actions, another potential savior swooped in.

The Italian girl grasped her head when a voice appeared in her mind, causing great pain, “I see you have come to terms with your true self… excellent. Don’t fall back into the pit.”

Rolling around in pain made Ladybug want to jump down, but Sledge held her back. 

“Doesn’t this look familiar to you?” he inquired, and while it took both her and her often-reckless ally a second, they recalled how Sledge gained his own powers - as well as how he awakened to Yoshihiro. 

“You are clever and talented, but you must learn to use your skills properly. Shall we forge a contract?”

Lila quietly nodded, slowly settling down as she adjusted to the pain.

“I am thou, thou art I… let your desire to be seen in a good way manifest in full, just as you have done for me!”

Eyes locking onto the slightly nervous form of her akumatized mother, Lila’s voice went from an intone to a shout, “Let’s fix this… Reynard!”

And that’s the story of the birth of Verità.

[thewanderingdelusion]

Fictober Day 4

Prompt #4: “I know you didn’t ask for this.”

Title: Chosen by Fate

Rating: T

Warnings: References to violence

—

You breathe in deeply and tell yourself that you aren’t afraid. Everything you’ve suffered for, everything you’ve worked for; it has been leading to this moment. Behind the heavy wooden doors of the cathedral is the man you’ve been searching for, the man who you must defeat. Your friends aren’t with you, they are holding off that man’s minions, so that you can fight him equally. Though you are alone, you have your sword-the trusty blade that has seen you through so many battles- and your talisman, the symbol that you are chosen by the gods to vanquish the evil that is plaguing it. And within you, pulsing rhythmically, is the blessing the gods gave you. A golden pool of power that has kept your heart strong throughout your journey.

With resolve set and weapon ready, you open the door. The cathedral is both opulent and inspiring, as all shrines to the gods should be. Even at this late hour, it should be filled with activity, from those offering tribute to the divine, or priests offering blessings. Yet, there is no one. The candles are unlit, drenching the vaulted ceilings and rich wall tapestries in darkness. Even the moon has chosen not to shine on this night, offering no light through the elaborate stained-glass windows.

There is only one light, a single flame burning in mid-air through dark magic at the central podium. In it’s meager light, you see him. A man whose face you know, but who you have never seen in person before. It is his actions that are known to you. You’ve seen the villages laid to waste by his armies, the unnatural creatures his magic has conjured, and the desecration of the gods he has left at every step. You know this man is evil, and you finally have him cornered. On this night, you will fulfill your destiny.

Full of valor, you approach the podium. He isn’t looking at you, instead poring over some book. No doubt a grimoire of twisted and evil magic. He can surely hear your approach, but in his arrogance, his eyes do not stray from his reading. You pause at the base of the platform the podium sits upon. Only three short steps and the podium itself separates the two of you now. And still, he does not look up. Unable to stand his dismissal any longer, you brandish your sword and proclaim that you have come to stop his heinous plan.

He finally deigns to look at you. He eyes travel right past the sword pointing in his face and focus directly on you. You’ve expected many different reactions from this man when you finally met him. Cold, calculating intelligence. Hot and dangerous rage. Twisted glee. Insufferable arrogance. What you were not prepared for, was the look of incredibly profound sadness upon his face.

“Oh.” He says, his voice soft in the darkness. “Look at you. You poor child. What have they done to you?”

Perturbed by his odd words. You claim that you are no child. You are a hero and you have come to defeat him.

He nods slowly, that look of sorrow still on his face. “Yes, I know. I’ve been informed of your actions taken against my soldiers. And you are a child, my dear. You can try to hide in that armor, but beneath that helmet I can tell that you’ve yet to even see your eighteenth winter.”

You seethe at the truth of his words. You attempt to hid your insecurity over your inexperience with bravado. You say that age doesn’t matter, you are a champion of the very gods!

Here, his sadness gives way to something else. Rage. But not at you, no. It is at the cathedral you are both in. His eyes roam over the opulent building with disgust. “Yes. The gods.” You have never heard anyone say something with such venom. “Those cowardly beings who play with the lives of mortals like it were a game.”

You have never been able to abide someone speaking ill of the gods. They were the ones who gave you purpose, who gave you power. You can feel it even now, deep inside you, the golden pool of love and power the gods bestowed upon you. You ready your sword and tell the villain to prepare himself.

Again, he looks at you with profound sadness. “You don’t even realize it, do you? What a cruel trick the gods have played on you?” Tired of hearing his blasphemy, you summon all the courage you can and swing your sword at his neck with heroic strength.

He does not defend himself. He doesn’t even twitch. Seconds before your attack reaches his skin your sword, your faithful weapon, shatters like glass. The shards of metal clatter on the carpet in a muted tinkling. You stare incomprehensibly at your now empty hand. His expression hasn’t changed at all.

“You don’t even realize how outmatched you are.”

Desperately you, you wield your talisman toward him. It can conjure divine light that can repel evil. Surely it can overcome whatever dark spell he was using.

Hot pain shoots through your hand as the talisman catches on fire and turns to ash in your grip. You quickly rip off your gauntlet, as that has also caught fire. You cradle your burnt hand to your stomach. Confusion and fear beginning to infest your mind.

This doesn’t make any sense. You were destined to defeat him here; the gods had said so. That was why you had fought so hard and for so long, so you could fulfill the gods will and rid the land of evil. So how was he so easily able to stop attacks that had overcome numerous other foes?

“The gods sent you here to die.”

You look up from your damaged hand to look at him, confusion and disbelief clear on your face. His still held that same sense of sadness. “This is what the gods do, my child. They manipulate and twist mortals to carry out their dirty work. They know what a threat I post to them, but they are far too cowardly to ever come face me directly. So instead, they send you. A martyr to their will.”

In between blinks, he vanishes from your view. One moment he was standing in front of you, the next he was gone. A finger delicately traces the back of your neck in the gap between your chest plate and helmet. He’s behind you.

“They filled your head with thoughts of destiny and heroism. With dreams of defeating some evil sorcerer, no? Well they also filled you with something else. That piece of the gods’ power within you? That golden pool? That’s no blessing, I’m afraid. It’s a bomb. When you die, your body will explode in a vortex of divine fire.”

He walks back into your field of view. Unhurried. Unconcerned. He looks at you with genuine sympathy. “Are you beginning to understand their little plan? They fluffed you up and sent you into a fight you have no hope of winning, hoping that, when I killed you, the blast would also end me as well. Truthfully, it very well might kill me, but they once again underestimate how well I can predict them.”

You stare at the floor, your world crashing around you. Was he telling the truth? He had no reason to lie, you were at his complete mercy. Everything you’ve done up until now, the battles, the sacrifices, the hardships; they were all for a lie. There was no prophecy, there was no destiny. You were just a pawn, being sacrificed without ever even comprehending.

Exhaustion suddenly overwhelms you, your eyes growing incredibly heavy. You manage to raise your head up just enough to see him casting a spell on you, forcing you into slumber. As you collapse and fall into dreams, you hear his voice one last time.

“Sleep well, little hero. You’ve suffered more than enough. I know that you didn’t ask for this and I promise you that I will punish the beings that did this to you. I will lay low the gods who would so easily throw away a child’s life to save themselves.”

[pulaasul]

Lost Shinobi 8

Shisui Uchiha didn’t expect to wake up once more. He certainly didn’t expect to have both of his eyes. Here he is, living among Auradon’s evillest and cruelest of villains in the isle of the lost. 

[C1] [C2] [C3] [C4] [C5] [C6] [C7]

[FFN] [AO3]

-------

A few days has passed since my original embarked on his mission. The old wizard may not tell me but he showed some signs of worry. It doesn't help that Mousey's been asking the unasked question, between the members of the Anti-Hero club at least, twice per day.

Which was why I made my decision.

"I'm going to conjure a clone and dispel myself." I announced to the wizard and his young apprentice.

"Are you capable of doing such?" Yen Sid questioned.

"Yes, all clones like me have always been capable of doing the same feats as our original." I explained as I stretched my limbs. "Not unless the clones are of the illusory and elemental variant." I added.

"Huh? Why is that?" Sophie pondered.

"That's because of the nature of the chakra Mousey." I answered. "The combined physical and mental energy within one's body in my world." I explained. "Illusory clones won't be able to do jutsus as they're not really there, they only serve as a distraction for the opponent."

"That makes sense." Sophie nodded.

"However the elemental clones are only limited to the element that comprises their chakra." I quickly added. "Earth clones would only be able to do Earth jutsus."

"Fire clones can only do fire magic, water clones can only do water magic." Sophie finished my explanation.

"That's correct." I nodded. "However Mousey, what I do isn't magic." I said to the young girl as I kneeled in front of her. "We've been over this." I added.

"You had better give up Mr. Shisui." Diego's voice cut in. "Everyone in this club has decided to call what you do as magic."

"Wait what?" I jumped in exclamation.

"It's the closest thing we can associate." The new arrival shrugged. "We're not exactly from your world, so your chakra concepts are foreign to us." He explained their reasoning. "Besides all of us don't have the chakra circulatory system in our bodies like you and the people of your world do."

Yes everyone, Yen Sid included, doesn't have a chakra circulatory system or at least a chakra core. I checked everyone in this island with my Sharingan.

"Fine." I sighed in resignation. "You do present a good point."

"It also helps everyone understand the concept by assimilating what you do with the concepts they're already familiar." Yen Sid sagely stated.

"If we're done, lunch is ready." Diego beckoned for us to follow him.

"Why don't you eat first before conjuring another clone?" Mousey suggested.

"Maybe I'll do just that."

------

A huge set of memories began to seep inside my mind. As I sorted through them, I realized that days has passed since I embarked on this mission. While the members of the club weren't worried, Yen Sid and Mousey certainly were.

As I was about to conjure a clone, the land beneath me shook as a colony of bats began to attack me. I immediately grabbed hold of my flashlight and shone some light unto the animals.

It got me the result I expected, these flying rodents made a sound of anger and retreated away from the flashlight I turned on.

"I thought there was someone following us a man's voice began. "It's just some nobody who wanted to escape the isle." He sounded disappointed. "I would love to torture that sorcerer and get us out of here."

"You forget that Yen Sid's a powerful wizard of his own merit." A regal voice disagreed.

"Hmmph, sorcery is no match to the cosmic powers of a genie." The man arrogantly dismissed the woman's claim.

"If that was the case, poof us out of here!" Another female voice spoke. "This place is dirty and the fur I'm wearing all have mud all over them."

"Umm." I decided to cut into their conversation. "But Yen Sid can just summon your lamp and imprison you there." I offered as I watched my every surrounding.

"And so the brat speaks." The whining woman spoke

Brat.

I suppose to these people I may look like just a teenaged boy who took the opportunity

"Show some respect you lowlife." The regal voice from before ordered as she revealed herself to me.

"The Evil Queen." I identified the woman.

"That's Your Majesty to you peasant." The Queen glared.

"You're quite handsome boy." The other woman stated as she stepped into the light. "You'd do quite well washing my car and fluffing my fur."

"Cruella de Vil."

"So why are you here, you street rat?" The man snarled his question as he too revealed himself.

"Jaf-"

"That's your grace to you, you street rat." Jafar cut me off.

"I'm here to bring you three back to the isle." I answered the question. "I can't have you causing problems for Carlos and the others."

The three did not respond to my claim and instead laughed at it. To be completely honest, I expected that kind of reaction from them.

After all what could a boy do in the face of the three most terrifying villains of Auradon.

"You, a mere boy, plan to take us back to the isle?" Jafar asked.

"Yes."

"Don't kid yourself street rat!" The genie snarled as he waved his scepter, make-shift scepter, and conjured red bolts of electricity and fired them in my direction. "You're a hundred years too early to rain on my parade boy!"

I immediately dodged the incoming bolts of lightning only to be attacked by a swarm of insects to my face.

Thinking fast, I turned around and ran towards the man, while dodging the lightning bolts that came from his scepter as the insects chased me.

As soon as I was near enough to the genie, I immediately jumped over him, in the hopes of the insects attacking him instead of me.

I heard the sound of glass breaking then I suddenly found myself bound to a tree that literally came out of nowhere, the bees were mysteriously missing. My hands were tied together behind the tree while a few vines were around my stomach and neck that started to tighten itself around them.

I struggled to free myself as the three villains approached my bound form.

"You're not bad boy." Jafar praised me. "No one was able to think quickly while in battle, not even our adversaries, the lot of them got out of their predicaments through outside help." He continued.

"You'd make a fine henchman boy." The Queen voiced "It's useless to struggle." She added. "That tree will only set you free once you're on our side." The evil royal smirked.

"Tick tock boy." Cruella stated." We aren't going to wait all day." She smiled as I began to hear hisses from the tree's leaves.

Lo and behold, five snakes made themselves known as they slithered their way to me.

"Finally!" I exclaimed as I formed a tiger seal with my bound hands then breathed out smoke from my mouth and escaped from the tree's grasp.

I immediately replaced myself with a nearby log from the predicament I was in. It was clear that I couldn't beat these people through brute force. I need to be creative and perform sneak attacks. I immediately hid behind one of the protruding rocks and baited my breath.

The smoke I conjured soon dissipated, no doubt due to the genie's power.

"That commoner managed to escape my tree?" The Evil Queen snarled at the tree's direction. "How?!" She demanded.

"Darling it's clear." Cruella rolled her eyes, ominously calm. "That boy is no ordinary boy." She explained as she walked towards her ally. "Considering the amount of smoke he released from his mouth."

"I see." The fallen genie and queen nodded.

I listened in on their conversation as I jumped from hiding place to hiding place and leave a shadow clone in them.

"We're at a disadvantage as he might know your abilities." Cruella added. "Luckily, our resident genie has provided me of new abilities." The woman smirked. "If you would Jafar."

"Of course." Jafar gave a sinister smile and raised his scepter.

A moment later a pack of animals were summoned before Cruella. It ranged from snakes, wolves, bats, and whatnot.

"Thank you." Cruella expressed her gratitude as she kneeled before the disoriented animals that were just summoned.

The De Vil woman breathed out some sort of green smoke.

The animals breathed in said smoke and their eyes turned green for a moment.

"Now find that street rat." The De Vil ordered her new minions.

From what I can see, Cruella's new ability allows her to mind control any animal that breaths in the green smoke she exhales.

"How are you supposed to do that?" The fallen queen inquired.

Cruella simply ignored the query and made her way towards the tree that had bound me earlier and picked something up.

Narrowing my eyes, I saw a torn cloth that was in the mad woman's hands. I looked down and sure enough a piece of my shirt was torn, probably when I made my escape from the tree's grasp.

No matter, my shadow clones also have my scent so I'm clear.

Cruella let the wolves smell on the torn piece of cloth she has. "Go! Find that imbecile!" She ordered the animals under her whim.

The expected effect was seen as every animal that was conjured by the Agraban genie scattered around the cave and searched for me.

Then I felt one of my clones dispel itself.

It was bitten by one of the wolves.

------

"My original has found Cruella De Vil. The Evil Queen and Jafar." I announced to Yen Sid. "And has engaged them in battle."

"Oh dear." The wizard replied. "That is not good." He remarked.

"What do we do?!" Sophie shrieked in panic.

"Ssssh." I immediately covered her mouth in an attempt to calm her down and lower her voice. "I probably won't be able to remain here if the battle continues." I admitted.

"If you're not here,-" Sophie paused. "-who's going to take care of the kids here?" She asked in worry.

"Remember the first aid techniques I taught everyone?" I asked the little girl. "You can use those for the meantime." I assured her. "If I remember right, there were a few of you who were quite good at it." I smiled.

"But you still haven't finished teaching us yet!" She argued.

"Don't worry, Yen Sid will teach you guys the other stuff we haven't tackled yet." I smiled.