#And Ominous Gong Time

[completeoveranalysis]

[7]

OH HELLO MOON THAT NOW MATCHES THE ONE ON THE YUUKO PAGES

Either Clow’s moon works differently or weird time stuff is already happening because I’m SURE it’d take longer than like 2-3 days for the phase of the moon to shift from a crescent to a gibbous moon. It’d be like a little under two weeks, unless I’m completely wrong. 

Please correct me if I’m wrong I was not good at science.

OH NO. 

OH NO CHAPTER ONE COMES BACK IN SWINGING. 

MYSTERIOUS HYPNOTISING BELL: PART TWO

And there she goes!

I love it. 

Last time this happened was ALSO the night before they went to the ruins and Evil Wolverine invaded. Of course in that timeline things had (presumably?) been altered so the details were all off, but the Bell of Foreshadowing is striking in the same place all the same. 

In chapter one it was accompanied by Sakura having visions of the future - do you think she gets the same here? 

I guess we’ll find out - immediately! 

Open the next chapter quick I have to see. 

[nobodysdaydreams]

Thanks for the tag @informedimagining! Here's the opening to my next tmbs fic, which I was working on instead of the essay I'm supposed to be writing:

Ledroptha Curtain had completed hundreds of sessions in the Whisperer, with dozens of messengers.

And yet, for some reason, today felt different. He couldn’t really explain it. But the entire ride up the elevator seemed to fill him with a creeping sense of dread that seemed to be mounting the closer the elevator got to the top of the tower.

The “ding” the elevator made when it reached its destination sounded more like the ominous chime of a bell or gong signaling doom than it did the cheerful “ding” of an elevator.

Curtain made a mental note to speak to the maintenance man about that.

Then he walked into the Whispering Gallery.

But it wasn’t the Whispering Gallery he was used to. Something was wrong, he could feel it.

The room was cold, much colder than usual. And the chair containing his messenger was facing away from him, and it seemed larger somehow, more menacing.

At first, Curtain thought he was in the room alone.

And then…

“What is your name?”  asked the Whisperer.

“Shepard Quaid Curtain,” replied the boy sitting in the chair.

Curtain felt his heart stop.

“Hello SQ. I think we should begin, don’t you?”  asked the Whisperer.

Curtain quickly ran around to the other side of the machine, where he found his son sitting in the chair, wearing a messenger uniform.

But no…no, this was wrong. SQ wasn’t supposed to be here.

“Shep…” Curtain whispered.

“What are you doing?”

But SQ’s eyes were closed, and he didn’t answer his father.

Sounds like a fun time. Anyway, time to tag people: @myfairkatiecat @itsgoghtime @changelingchangewing @sophieswundergarten @kaslynspeaks @mvshortcut @oflightningandstars @phtalogreenpoison and anyone else who wants to join. Happy writing!

[grasshopperdoingdogpaddle]

How differently do you think that the first episode of “Xiaolin Chronicles” would have gone if it had actually followed up on where “Xiaolin Showdown” had originally left off?

If there's a story that picks up right where season 3 left off, I'd like it to pick up the way @writerkatsblog started You're Okay, with Kimiko, Clay, Omi, and Jack getting to have some actual focus again (and their actual personalities back, anything that continues after season 3 needs to contend with how season 3 mishandled them) and sort of get to explore how they feel about giving it their all but not winning.

It'd be nice to start off a theoretical first episode of Xiaolin Chronicles by catching up with each of the monks where they're currently separate for a day. Slow down the pacing, re-establish their characters and where they come from, have them each re-affirm their call to action. A clipshow episode vibe, but no wasting screentime on actual flashbacks, just discussions about it.

Jack licking his wounds in his lab and feeling frustrated, passed over, and confused after this jumble of unclear feelings and lingering mashed-up memories from the finale.

I don't know who I'd have pick him up, either Wuya or Megan or Jack's army of evil, but something that makes him end the scene with resolve and start building something big and exciting that the viewer can't see yet.

Kimiko back home with her dad, and also with Keiko, who we finally get to meet.

Clay in Texas spending some time with Jesse, or maybe with one of his parents.

Omi meditating contemplatively on his own at the temple on a rainy day. I'd prefer the one to talk to Omi be Chase, they could have an extended chat about a lot of lingering feelings and there could be some parallels to how Chase wasn't chosen back in his day either. Chase tells Omi that there's one way to make sure he's not forgotten, like he will be if he stays this path, but Omi doesn't budge, as usual.

But it could just as easily be Dojo chatting with Omi. (It'd be way too out of character for Master Fung to care).

And at the end of the episode, Kimiko and Clay arrive back at the temple, Omi runs to greet them, they're all feeling better after their personal days. Raimundo comes out of the temple reading over some scrolls while Master Fung is talking to him about something official. The other three monks exchange a light-hearted smile and a bit of a laugh, and in sync, they bow and say, "Greetings, Shoku Warrior Rai". He gives them an awkward smile back. The gang is back together. Music swells fondly in signal of new beginnings.

Dojo bursts in and says they have to cut the reunion short because--

And we switch the scene back to Jack, who cackles evilly and notices his scanner saying there's a new Shen Gong Wu awakening. Time to go pay the Xiaolin losers back. Music swells ominously in signal of new beginnings.

End of first episode.

And I think the second episode, where they actually go to the Shen Gong Wu, should actually have them lose to Jack like they did occasionally back in season 1. Re-set some new stakes in lieu of a new villain. The main villain of the season should be Hannibal again, since he ended up doing pretty much nothing in season 3 despite the hints to some grander plan.

[bargainoriley]

More (1969)

Guess what, dear followers? It’s first listen album thoughts time again! This time for the album that comes next chronologically after A Saucerful of Secrets: More!

Cirrus Minor

The bird sounds intro is pretty calming but a bit too long imo. This has a very calming but also kind of ominous vibe (because of the melody and keys). I love the acoustic guitar here! And the keys too. A very calming introduction to the album, which is interesting because normally albums start out with something energetic/that has a punch. It kind of gives me Aphex Twin vibes at the end because of the melody/keys. I like how it grows more and more ominous at the end (it kind of gives me echoes vibes as well).

2. The Nile Song

And then we suddenly get punched in the face with this! A very different vibe from the song before! A very energetic song that is out of character for Floyd’s usual sound. I already heard this song before many times and it is one of my absolute favorite underrated gems from them! I love how heavy and energetic this song is! I kind of wish that more Floyd songs were this energetic. I also adore the drums here! They hit so hard and give the song a head-banging vibe. My absolute favorite part is when someone screams and the guitar goes crazy at this part: 2:50-3:06. I may like this song so much because I like heavier music more in general, and I like it more than Ibiza Bar (which sounds very similar to this song)

3. The Crying Song

I love the xylophone/marimba here! It gives off major spring vibes. The guitar here is also lovely. I like how calming this song is. The vocal harmonies are lovely too! The guitar solo really reminds me of George Harrison a lot.

4. Up The Khyber

The drums here are pretty good. How the keys travel between speakers if you’re listening with headphones is interesting! Otherwise this is kind of a weird song, I don‘t really like it. :/

5. Green Is The Colour

The guitars here are very lovely! And the flute is cute too! I was smiling while listening to this! The high soft and gentle voice from David here is great and makes the song all the more lovely and pleasant to listen to. The keys here are great as well. A very cute song! I love it. It really reminds me of The Beatles more softer ballads. One of my favorites off this album along with The Nile Song.

6. Cymbaline

The drums here are great! The keys as well. I like the soft sound of this song too! The lyrics are very good too as well. The general soft/calming vibes of this album is great! Especially since I am listening to it at night currently where I am. The scatting solo by David is very lovely and great as well and gives the song a lot of charm. This song feels like a summer stroll at night tbh. And the the song suddenly grows more and more ominous and ethereal with the keys, as if there’s a higher presence there with you on your summer stroll. Also one of my favorites along with the songs previously mentioned

7. Party Sequence

The drums here are interesting! Otherwise this is just a boring intermission. Did not like it

8. Main Theme:

Very ominous intro with the gong and keys! This song kind of feels like someone died/the theme of a horror movie. Gives me Saucerful of Secrets vibes as well. It gives the vibes of being in a car and being able to watch a strange extraterrestrial world through the glass going about its daily life while you pass it by. The bass and keys here are especially good!

9. Ibiza Bar

A very energetic song in comparison to the last one! It’s also much more happy than the last one. It’s definitely very similar to The Nile Song, but with very different lyrics! The keys in this song definitely add to the song more than the Nile song (which doesn’t have any). This song feels like a happy ending to a movie tbh. I like this one too, but it feels too similar to The Nile Song for me to love it.

10. More Blues

I love the melody here that the guitar plays! It kind of feels like psychedelic blues tbh. Feels like you’re in a music club where everybody had a little too much to drink and everyone is now trying to chill out.

11. Quicksilver

A very ominous song! The gong and keys definitely contribute the most to this atmosphere. This song feels like you’re in the desert  and you’re very dehydrated and hungry, feeling despaired at this situation. It also feels like there is a kind of malicious presence with you, but you don’t know what. This feels like a horror movie soundtrack piece as well. This song honestly reminds me of Aphex Twin as well.

12. A Spanish Piece

The voice caught me very offguard! It really reminds me of the Blue Meanie chief from the Yellow Submarine movie. I don’t like this song honestly because it has these weird outdated/icky stereotypes about Spain/Mexico (the song confuses the two for some reason??) :/ I think it’s supposed to be “funny” because of the accent but it’s doing nothing for me for the reason previously listed

13. Dramatic Theme

As the title says, this definitely is dramatic! The bass line here is particularly cool! It gives me Saucerful of Secrets vibes as well.

In general, the first half of the album is great and calming with a lot of underrated gems, but the second half is kind of… eh? Not that good (With the exception of Ibiza Bar). The small intermission songs are also kind of unnecessary and weird, they don’t contribute anything good to this album.  I am definitely mixed on this album… I would probably listen to it again only if I want to sleep (in a positive way of course). I know it’s supposed to be a soundtrack album, and maybe it’s better within the context of the movie, but I’ve never seen it and am solely judging this album by the music alone. Though the underrated gems I mentioned I will definitely listen to again! Next up is Ummagumma and I hope I have enough patience to listen to it! Especially since people either love it or hate it, I’ve heard. We’ll see how I like that album :)

[officialleehadan]

Using Words

Knights of the Round

+++

Generally speaking, Lancelot did not expect Guinevere to manhandle him.

Arthur, sure. Arthur was taller than him, and stronger too, or he was, last time they sparred hand-to-hand, which was admittedly some centuries in the past. There was no reason to assume his king was any less capable now. He had seen the hard muscle Arthur hid beneath his favorite jacket, and wouldn’t be underestimating his king any time soon.

Guinevere, however, had always been a metaphorical force of nature. These days, she just happened to also be a physical force of nature.

“Did I know you could pick me up?” he asked Guinevere’s admittedly-perfect backside from his position over her shoulder. “I feel like I’m supposed to be the one carrying you around.”

“I didn’t think you would stick around to talk things out if I asked nicely,” she said cheerfully, barely even slowed under his weight, even though he weighed a solid sixteen stone or so. Clearly her own training in her chosen sport left her strong enough to do as she pleased. It had some very intriguing possibilities, provided he didn’t get set on fire in a minute.  “You already got to have your emotional reckoning with Arthur. It’s my turn.”

“Ominous. May I walk?”

“Are you gong to run if I put you down?”

Lancelot considered lying to her, considered the debt he still owed her for the whole catastrophe that was Camelot, and sighed. “On my honor, I will not depart the conversation without your permission, excepting only for an emergency, or Arthur’s command.”

Guinevere paused, and then unceremoniously dropped him in the grass. Lancelot landed well, despite being dropped like a sack of flour, and looked up to see Arthur sitting back against a tree only a few steps away. He was laughing. Guinevere was visibly pleased with herself.

“When I suggested you go talk to him, I didn’t actually mean for you to bag him like a prize buck,” Arthur said through chuckles. Lancelot propped himself up but didn’t attempt to stand. Guinevere watched him closely, but finally relented enough to sit beside Arthur. “Are you alright?”

“Well, the Wizard hasn’t set me on fire yet, so better than expected,” Lancelot told him sardonically, and leaned back on his hands. “Alright, might as well get it out. I’m sorry, Guen. Not for loving you. Never for that, but for… everything that happened because of it.”

“You regret it?” Guen asked, oddly careful, when she had given him the impression of a human battering ram most of the time up to now. “The affair, or the consequences?”

“Mostly the lies that led to the consequences, if we’re being honest,” he said with a heartfelt sigh. He was too old to have strong emotions about the fall of Camelot anymore. It had happened, and it was terrible, and it was his fault, but it was done and there was no undoing it. There was a time when he would have said it was the worst thing to ever happen to the world, but he had lived through two world wars since then. Compared to that, even given the personal nature of it, the fall of Camelot was relatively minor. “That it cost so many people so much. That it cost your lives. That was the worst part, after everything.”

He would never forget seeing them both dead. Arthur on the field of battle, surrounded by a mountain of soldiers who died to bring don the legendary king. In the end, none of them had. It was Mordred who fired the arrow that found Arthur’s heart.

Guinevere outlived him, but only by a few hours as she drank poison to keep Mordred from taking her alive. Lancelot got there just in time for one last kiss before she was gone.

The crushing grief of their loss would have killed him if he hadn’t already been immortal. As it was, he went on a rampage of revenge that left Mordred scrambling and all of his fellow Knights shaken by his brutality.

Seeing them alive now was like breathing for the first time in centuries.

Getting bodily dragged over to them was more surprising, but Arthur had always been determined, and he was significantly stronger than Lancelot. He used his own body-weight to simply haul Lancelot over until his back was propped against Arthur’s chest. Guinevere, never willing to let an opportunity pass by, immediately climbed into Lancelot’s lap, straddling his hips. Arthur waited until she was settled and rested his chin on Lancelot’s shoulder..

Very much captured, Lancelot could only wait to see what they wanted of him, baffled, but admittedly pleased by their new position.

“Just to be clear, completely, utterly, and transparently clear,” Arthur said in his ear, one arm wrapped tight around Lancelot’s ribs and his free hand comfortable on Guinevere’s hip. “We, having discussed it, would like you to join our relationship, preferably as a permanent member. No sneaking. No lies. All three of us together.”

“I think I might be dead,” Lancelot replied, a little dumb, since he had Guinevere in his lap, and because Arthur’s hand was creeping up his shirt lazily. “Or maybe dreaming? This can’t be- OW!”

Arthur laughed behind him having given him a firm pinch right in the ribs. Lancelot managed not to throw Guinevere off him, but it was a close thing, and Arthur had to grab them both to steady her.

“You’re not dreaming, Guen told him and traced her callused fingers over his cheek. He stared up at her wonderingly as her red hair fell down around them, “You’re not dead. We want you. We’ve wanted you since before we died, and we want you more now that we’re alive again.”

“And were able to have a few conversations about what we want, and who we want it with,” Arthur agreed. Lancelot was still somewhat incapable of words, so he only nodded, mouth dry and heart humming. “The answer to both of those is you, by the way, if you’re interested.”

“The Wizard is going to light me on fire,” Lancelot said through the haze of wonder that was clouding his mind. “Yes, gods, demons, anyone who watches out for idiots and fools, yes. I want you both so much it hurts.”

“Good,” Arthur whispered in his ear as Guinevere bent to kiss Lancelot as if they were still the young lovers they once were, long ago. “I hope you’re ready, my Knight, because we intend to find out just how much you’ve learned in the last few centuries. I hope you can keep up.”

+++

Knights of the Round:

Sword and Beast (Subscribers Only!)

Cousins in Arms (Subscribers Only!)

Do Not Microwave

Four Knights and a Beast

The Lion of Lyonesse

Stone Table

Wizard Games

Lake Ghosts (Subscribers Only!)

Pub Welcome

Luck du Lac

Musical Knights (Subscribers Only!)

Three Good Punches

Oath Renewed

Dust or Gold

Using Words (New!)

+++

MASTERLIST

[earthshipvoice]

i revisited episode 1 of destined with you. here are symbols, characters, or lines that i overlooked the first time and some i'm still unsure if they will revisit later in the series:

crow / bird

"red hand" who was she, the owner of this hand?

haum ( lawfirm law and high's biggest client and major shareholder. he's appeared twice. episode 1 and episode 6))

catfish ((foreshadow of rituals?))

city hall / onju city hall

being transferred to mr. gong's team

the ominous moon being blood red

haunted house / shrine

shaman / eun-wol

talismans

death ((episode 1 worker at construction site, the son who was exploring the haunted house and episode 6 hong-jo's father))

hong-jo face flushing / blushing ((hong-jo says she flushes when she's stressed -episode 1))

park maintenance team

hong-jo choosing where to eat

rain

deleted video

raincoat // coat

ominous voice: "what took you so long to come here?"

blood falling from eye on woman statue

grim reaper

teahouse / drinking tea

kim sam-bong ((the person sin-yu paid to manage the shrine)) / scammer

father suggests sin-yu quit law firm

sin-yu and alcohol ((trembling liquor))

hong-jo: "so he's from a noble family with a lot of land, a son of a chairman, and a successful lawyer? that jang sin-yu guy? i hate him already."

headache and trembling of sin-yu's right hand / genetic disorder and a chromosome mutation.

sin-yu: "still, try to predict what will happen in the future."

sin-yu's doctor: "you have a time bomb in your head that could explode any time."

elevator / floor 29

sin-yu: "i don't need to be kind to someone who trespassed on my property."

sin-yu: "do you want to go to a teahouse with a grim reaper?"

hak-yeong resigning. why do the people want him to?

jae-gyeong not getting water spilled on him and instead water spilled on hong-jo. (episode 1 and similar mirroring in episode 6)

DS stocks

"the mayor"

attending a funeral

na-yeon: "you feel very distant. you don't tell me important things. tell me about the stuff in detail"

sin-yu: "the one who passed away was my second cousin once removed."

na-yeon: "let's go to sokcho. there's a hotel in front of the sea. i heard the view was amazing."

hong-jo: "yes. well...i turn red all the time. i have rosacea. it's not climacteric."

jae-gyeong: "don't joke about it. i was worried all day."

hong-jo: "by the way, how did you know that i was in charge of the demolition?"

jae-gyeong: "it's written all over your face."

sin-yu dreaming (white flowers, the shrine)

sin-yu: "i have a good personality and am humorous. so people say i'm cute like a puppy. but you only come on the days when i get sensitive. so you're the unlucky one."

hong-jo: "because i'm lonely. i feel like if i sort this out, my team leader will say "let's eat together." ever since i transferred to city hall, i've been eating alone. i eat alone at home, so i don't want to eat alone at work as well. they'll know i'm an outcast. can you please tell me?"

eun-wol: "shaman eun-wol. real name, myeong-eun. i agree to demolish the shrine at mount onju."

eun-wol: "you killed her. the owner of the bloody hand that caresses your cheek. karma will swallow you and you will struggle in horrible pain. but all the pain and curses will end. finally, the owner of the wooden box showed up."

hong-jo: "what a unique guy from a unique family."

does only eun-wol and sin-yu know about the wooden box? what about the rest of his family?

eun-wol: "for the wooden box, you'll find out soon. and you already know the owner."

sin-yu: "who's the owner of the wooden box?"

eun-wol: "the woman you're thinking of right now."

[starbudspresents]

Re.Gray 002 - Full Moon Night

♠ [ Read on AO3 ] ♠

♠ [ RAW image gallery ] ♠

♦ 63

Narration: 《AKUMA》 Narration: Malignant living weapon; deceased soul fused into mechanism.

Narration: 《EXORCIST》 Narration: Akuma-destroying clergyperson dressed in black.

Narration: At the close of an imaginary 19th century, Narration: strange things were happening night after night.

Allen: Timcanpy!

sfx: gara gara [wagon rolling over cobblestones]

Allen: Don't flap about so much, Allen: can't have you getting eaten by any more cats.

sfx: jah [pulling curtain aside] Clown: Whaaaa~~~? It got eaten~~? Clown: Lucky to be alive, innit!

sfx: patatata [Timcanpy flapping its metallic wings]

Allen: Rose from its grave, didn't you.

Clown: Wassat?

sfx: gyuh [shove]

Yosshii: Here in England to sightsee, traveller?

sfx: yoji yoji [flup flup, sound of wingbeats changing as Tim comes in for the landing]

Allen: No, not exactly. Allen: I've come to introduce myself Allen: at Exorcist headquarters.

♦ 65

2nd Night - Full Moon Night

♦ 66

Narration: Three months earlier, Narration: somewhere in India...

sfx: pao— pao— [elephants trumpeting]

Cross: Hey. Allen.

Allen: Yes, Master?1

Cross: You've been my apprentice for three years now. Cross: Figure it's about time you graduated... Cross: As of today, you may call yourself a full-fledged Exorcist.

Allen: !! Allen: You really mean it!?

Cross: But that means you need to show your face at Headquarters.

♦ 67

Cross: You... know how to find the place, right?

sfx: su [ominous frisson]

Allen: ... sfx: jirih [suspiciously shrinks back] Allen: Yes?

sfx: pata [flap]

Cross: I'll send my golem2 in my place, then, Cross: and fire off a letter of introduction to Komui, the fellow in charge there.

sfx: jirih [shrinks back further]

sfx: pao— [elephant]

Cross: Get going whenever you wake up.

Allen: You don't mean to skive off!?

sfx: fuoh [raises mallet] Cross: I can't stand that place. sfx: GOH [BONK]

sfx: bah [jerks back to reality with a shudder] Allen: Augh!!

♦ 68

Allen: Just a dream... Allen: I keep reliving it...

sfx: shah [pokes out of curtains]

sfx: haa haa haa [panting]

Clown: All right there~? Sounded like a nightmare~

Jan: AKUMA!!! Jan: It's an Akuma, we're doomed!!

Allen: !!

Clown: W-What's this now!?

Allen: Thanks for the lift! sfx: bah [hup]

Clown: Oh my!?

♦ 69

sfx: dadadadadada [pounding footsteps, Allen running pell-mell]

Allen: Are you all right!? Allen: Where's the— Allen: —Akuma!?

Baldy: No demons round here, mate.

Allen: Sorry?

Baldy: Now look what you've done, Jan, crying wolf.

sfx: goh [bonk]

Jan: OUCH

♦ 70

Baldy: Sorry 'bout that. This lad's a prankster.

sfx: osu [unrepentant]

Jan: It's not a prank, blockhead! Jan: The Akuma really are here!! sfx: geh [pout] Jan: They're slowly but surely spreading across the world! Dad said so!

Baldy: Yes, yes, we know. Here, have a sweet.

Jan: Don't treat me like a kid!! Jan: I'm telling the truth! Jan: Just now, over there, some big fellow in a top hat killed3 this homeless chap! Jan: Stuffed an Akuma skeleton right down his gob—

♦ 71

sfx: pakoh [claps a hand over Jan's mouth] Pigtails: Sorry, folks, just ignore him. Pigtails: Kept pestering me to play with him, so I did, but he got carried away...

Jan: Wnghf!? side, translation: "What!?"

Baldy: Yeah, s'what I thought. Baldy, side: Let's all get back to work.

Baker: We won't come running next time, y'hear?

Jan: Nnn! Hnnn!

sfx: ponn [silence falling like a struck gong]

Jan: ......

♦ 72

sfx: pii [keen slicing sound]

Allen: You cannot fool my eye.

sfx: bu [skin unzipping]

Allen: You're an Akuma.

sfx: bubububu [outer shell disintegrating]

♦ 73

sfx: DON [bwoosh, whole body goes to dust at once]

Jan: ......

sfx: hyuuu [dust curling in the breeze]

Allen: "Jan", was it? Allen: How do you know so much about Akuma?

sfx: pachin [snap of a rebuttoned finger glove]

Jan: WAHHHHHH

sfx: DOH [impact]

Allen: oof!?

♦ 74

sfx: DOH [impact]

Jan: An Exorcist! I've never met one before!! Jan: Was that your anti-Akuma weapon? Jan: Lemme have a look-see— Jan: Oops?

sfx: biku [twitch]

sfx: sha [rrr of rollerblades]

Jan: Dad's a Vatican scientist. Jan: He's aaaalways working, though, so I mostly have the place to m'self. Jan: Started reading through his research when I was bored one day, and found out about the Akuma and whatnot.4

Allen: What odd shoes...

Jan: My dream right now's to become a great scientist like him and invent a weapon that'll wipe out Akuma like that!

♦ 75

Jan: Meant to ask, though... sfx: chira [squint]

Allen: Yes?

Jan: Even a puny little squirt like you can make it as an Exorcist, eh?

sfx: GON [conk] rock: PUNY

Jan: I always pictured a big strapping bunch. Jan: Not... you. Jan: So how many Akuma have you done for? Jan: How'd you get your anti-Akuma weapon into your hand like that? Jan: How'd you feel when you destroyed your first?

Allen: Jan... Allen: You shouldn't stick your neck out so far. Allen: You were lucky, this time, Allen: but you should try to avoid attracting the Millennium Earl's attention. Allen: It's dangerous.

♦ 76

Jan: Catch. sfx: poi [toss]

Allen: An onion?

sfx: BON [explodes in his face] sfx: uuuun [tears pouring down, moaning]

Jan: Heh heh. My own invention: the onion bomb. Jan: I'm not just going to sit pretty while the Akuma invade!

sfx: kuru [turns away]

Jan: "Dangerous," my foot! Don't treat me like a kid, you milksop! sfx: sha—h [rollerblades away at speed]

Allen: M-My eyes... Allen: Pete's sake, Allen: I give up.

sfx: shimiru [stinging]

♦ 77

sfx: zudodododo [engine-like rumbling] sfx:goriririri, gago—, dori dori dori, zukyukyukyukyuu, ga— [whole cacophony of rumbling, squeaking metal, small explosions, etc.]

Maid: Young master! Maid: Young master...! Maid: Master Jan, you have a guest! Can you hear me? Maid: Young master Jan!

sfx: gacha [door unlatching] Jan: ...... Jan: Who is it? Jan: Leo!!

♦ 78

Jan: It's been ages, mate! Jan: Haven't heard from you since the funeral, been worried sick! Jan: Are you staying with your folks now? Jan: Losing your mum must've been hard, but I'm always here for you! Jan: Keep your chin up!

Jan: He seems.... different, somehow... Jan: His mum dying must've been a real shock... Jan: Isn't there anything Jan: I can do to cheer him up?

♦ 79

Jan: Oh, right! Jan: I saw an Akuma for the first time today! Jan: I've kept up patrolling while you were gone. Jan: There really is a mechanical skeleton on the inside! Jan: And! I saw the face of the Millennium Earl himself! Jan: It was definitely him. Jan: Hang on a sec, I'll sketch him. Jan: Umm, like so... and so.... sfx: kaki kaki [scritch-scratch]

♦ 80

Jan: Ta-da! sfx: baan [fanfare] Jan: We should go out on patrol again and pass these around!

sfx: ton [Leo puts his hand on Jan's forearm with an odd sense of weight] Leo: Jan Leo: there's somewhere I'd like you to go with me

sfx: jiririri [brrring] Allen: Just couldn't leave well enough alone, could I. Allen: Ah, well. I'll straighten the boy out right quick, then make for HQ. sfx: haa [sigh] sfx: jiririri [brrring]

♦ 81

sfx: gacha [door opens]

Maid: Hullo?

Allen: Whoa, déjà vu.5 Allen: Er, I gather this is Jan's residence? Allen: Is he in?

Maid: Young master Jan?

sfx: so~~~ [stealthy approach, palms out] sfx: DOI [push!]

Jan: Why are you here? Jan, side: pffft

♦ 82

Jan: Bet you've come to lecture me, Jan: but you can stuff it. sfx: keh [sticks tongue out] sfx: shaaa— [rollerblades away, backwards]

Allen: J-Jan... you little....

sfx: shah [rollerblades] Jan: Let's go, Leo.

Allen: Ugh—

On maid: [fainted]

sfx: piii [high-pitched whine; Allen's cursed eye spinning up] Allen: !! Allen: W-Wait a minute, Jan! Allen: That boy is—

sfx: gachan [gate clangs shut]

♦ 83

Allen: T-This... Allen: ...is a problem. Allen: Timcanpy, go after them! Allen: I'm right behind you!

sfx: patatata [flaps off]

Allen: Damn.... Allen: Headquarters will have to wait.... Allen: Seems there's someone else I need to show my face to first, Allen: Master...

♦ 84

Jan: Oi, Leo...? Jan: Is this really where you wanted to go? Jan: It's a boneyard. Jan: Oh, did you want to visit your mum's grave? Jan: Should've just said! Don't be so vague—

sfx: DON [small face meet big belly]

♦ 85

sfx: suih [pat on the head] Earl: Good evening. ♡ Earl: Pleased to make your acquaintance, young Jan. ♡ sfx: sui sui [pet pet]

sfx: bah [rears back] Jan: ...... Jan: M— Jan: Millennium Earl...!?

♦ 86

sfx: bah [winds up] sfx: byuBA [and tosses] Jan: Eat this!!

sfx: BON [onion bomb explodes in Earl's face]

Jan: Let's run for it, Leo! Jan: Oi, Leo!?

sfx: nyaa [eerie smile]

Jan: What are you doing!? He's going to kill us!! Jan: Leo—!!

Earl: Oh, dear little Leo has been dead for quite some time, we're afraid. ♡ Earl: Since his mother's funeral, in fact. ♡

♦ 87

Earl: This... Earl: is an Akuma we made to punish you for getting in our way. ♡6

Jan: You're lying....

Allen: He isn't. Allen: Jan, Allen: that boy is an Akuma!!

♦ 88

Narration: And thus, his master departed.

♦♥♦

FOOTNOTES

Title:　師匠 shishou, "master" in the sense of a master of a trade mentoring an apprentice or journeyman until they're good enough to practice independently. Conversely, Cross refers to Allen as his 弟子 deshi, "apprentice" or "disciple". [ ♠ ]

This word — "golem" — is written in katakana, ゴレム, as a direct loanword from another language: in this case Hebrew. A golem is a creature out of Jewish folklore which draws on deep symbolism specific to the Jewish people, but it shows up in Japanese fiction oddly often as some form of inanimate matter given temporary magical life according to particular parameters. [ ♠ ]

Putting a note here for later reference, because this is a bit interesting: we learned in Night 001 that the Earl makes Akuma using a living person who's lost someone and the soul of the one they lost, yet here, the Earl seems to have killed the living vessel directly and put a (possibly pre-filled?) Akuma mechanism into him. If that's something he can do, the size of the Akuma population would make more sense. [ ♠ ]

In light of the later arc in which an Order scientist tries to leave and has difficulty with the security measures in place to prevent this exact information from leaking out to the general public... who on Earth is Jan's father, and how did get a breach this spectacular past the Order? [ ♠ ]

This is just an easy-to-miss joke: the maid looks like she could be closely related to the clown on the carny wagon he hitched a ride with. [ ♠ ]

This is very interesting, as it implies that the Earl doesn't want information about himself or the Akuma released either, putting him in line with the Order on this front. Neither power wants the war between them to become public. It makes more sense for the Earl, at this point, because if people knew about him and knew his bargains weren't what they seemed, they might be less likely to willingly assist in the Akuma creation process. [ ♠ ]

[comradesaucegay]

Have you seen that falun gong are showing one of their shitty movies in Norway? It's really funny because they're claiming that it's gotten rave reviews and a bunch of awards, but I can find zero proof that it's been shown anywhere or ever been reviewed by anyone lol

silver screen dreams? yeah, i can't find any info about any of the ''28 awards'' its supposedly received either. the only mention of the movie ever been shown anywhere prior to this month comes from epoch times, falun gong's own propaganda outlet

also, for some reason, it seems like it's being heavily promoted in canada and norway? i hadn't heard about it until now, but they're having a screening at a cinema in oslo this week. on nfkino's webpage, they write that the filmmakers/actors will give the audience a 'surprise' afterwards, which uuhh, sounds kind of ominous? the movie doesn't advertise itself as being associated with falun gong, but i'm guessing it's going to be some kind of scummy recruitment effort regardless

[poemshubs]

10 Funny Limericks for Work

Limericks are a form of light, humorous poetry that follows a specific meter and rhyme scheme (AABBA). They are known for their playful, often whimsical tone and clever wordplay, making them a popular choice for lighthearted moments. Though often associated with social or personal topics, limericks can also be a fun and engaging way to bring humor to the workplace. Whether it’s to break the monotony of the office, add some levity to meetings, or entertain colleagues, limericks can provide a much-needed dose of amusement. This article will introduce ten funny limericks that are perfect for the workplace and explore how they contribute to team bonding, morale, and stress relief.

1. What Makes a Good Workplace Limerick?

Before diving into the limericks themselves, it’s important to understand the key elements that make a good workplace limerick. Limericks are typically short, only five lines, and follow a strict rhyme scheme: the first, second, and fifth lines rhyme with each other, while the third and fourth lines share a different rhyme. The meter is also key—limericks are written in anapestic or amphibrachic meter, giving them a distinctive rhythm that adds to their playful nature.

For workplace limericks, humor is the most essential ingredient, but it’s also important to ensure that the humor is appropriate for the professional setting. A great workplace limerick should be lighthearted, inoffensive, and relevant to work-related themes like office dynamics, meetings, deadlines, and work-life balance. By using humor to poke fun at shared workplace experiences, limericks can help diffuse tension and promote a positive, collaborative atmosphere.

2. The Role of Humor in the Workplace

Humor in the workplace is often underestimated, but it can be a powerful tool for creating a positive work environment. It helps employees bond, fosters creativity, and improves communication. Sharing a joke or a limerick can break the ice during tense moments, making difficult conversations easier and reducing stress levels. Humor can also contribute to increased job satisfaction and team cohesion.

Studies have shown that humor, especially light humor, can improve problem-solving skills and productivity. This is because it encourages a relaxed atmosphere, which is more conducive to creative thinking. When employees are more comfortable, they are more likely to contribute ideas and collaborate effectively. Limericks, with their easy-going and rhythmic structure, provide an excellent format for injecting humor into the workplace.

3. 10 Funny Limericks for Work

The following limericks touch on various aspects of workplace life, from procrastination to endless meetings, and provide some lighthearted moments that can be shared with colleagues.

1) The Office Procrastinator

There once was a worker, so sly, Who always let deadlines pass by. With coffee in hand, They made no real plan, And just watched the work pile high.

This limerick pokes fun at the office procrastinator, someone we can all relate to (or sometimes are ourselves). The humor lies in the way the character avoids responsibility, and yet, the piling workload looms ominously.

2) The Never-Ending Meeting

There once was a meeting so long, It felt like the boss did no wrong. With slides that did drag, And snacks in a bag, I wondered if I’d last till the gong.

This limerick humorously captures the common workplace frustration of endless meetings that seem to go on without resolution. The joke here is in the absurdity of the length and the longing for the end.

3) The Monday Blues

On Monday, I’m sluggish and slow, My energy hits an all-time low. I stare at my screen, With a look so serene, While waiting for coffee to flow.

Mondays are a notorious struggle for many employees, and this limerick perfectly captures the feeling of dread and lethargy that often accompanies the first workday of the week. The humor is in the depiction of the employee’s dependence on coffee to function.

4) The Email Overload

An inbox was full to the brim, Each message, more urgent and grim. With fingers ablaze, I worked through the maze, And soon found my sanity slim.

Email overload is a universal workplace experience, and this limerick pokes fun at the sheer volume of messages employees often face. The humor comes from the exaggeration of the stress caused by email and the struggle to maintain composure.

5) The Tech Woes

The printer went down with a clunk, My report was all stuck in the trunk. I kicked it and sighed, But still, it just lied, Technology’s really a punk.

This limerick touches on a common workplace frustration—technology that fails when it’s needed most. The joke lies in the personification of the printer as a “punk,” playing up the frustration with humor.

6) The Overachiever

There once was a worker who sped, And never let work go to bed. They finished by noon, Worked under the moon, While dreaming of spreadsheets instead.

This limerick humorously exaggerates the traits of the office overachiever, who never seems to stop working. The humor is in the absurd dedication of the worker, as even their dreams are filled with spreadsheets.

7) The Lunch Break Dilemma

At lunch, I was caught in a bind, The fridge held no food I could find. I stared at my fate, Too late to get a plate, So I settled for crackers and rind.

This limerick captures the all-too-familiar lunch break dilemma, where an empty fridge leaves an employee scrambling for food. The humor is in the desperation of settling for less-than-appetizing options.

8) The Clueless New Hire

A new hire walked into the place, With panic all over their face. The jargon they heard, Was quite absurd, But they learned at a rapid pace.

This limerick is a lighthearted take on the experience of being a new hire, overwhelmed by unfamiliar office language and procedures. The humor comes from the confusion of the new employee and their quick adaptation.

9) The Work-Life Balance Struggle

My laptop and I are best friends, Our meetings just never quite end. I work late at night, Till dawn’s early light, My home life I struggle to mend.

This limerick humorously reflects the struggle many employees face in maintaining work-life balance, especially in today’s remote or hybrid work environments. The humor lies in the exaggerated depiction of work’s intrusion into personal life.

10) The Last-Minute Deadline Rush

A deadline crept up with a roar, I found myself glued to the floor. I typed like a beast, My worries increased, But still, I survived one task more.

This limerick portrays the classic last-minute rush to meet a deadline, something nearly every worker has experienced. The humor here comes from the frantic efforts of the employee and the triumph of meeting the challenge, even in the eleventh hour.

4. How to Use Limericks in the Workplace

Limericks like the ones above can serve various functions in a professional environment. They are an easy and fun way to lighten the mood during stressful situations, improve team bonding, and foster creativity. Here are some ideas for how limericks can be used in the workplace:

a) Icebreakers in Meetings

Opening a meeting with a funny limerick can be an excellent way to set a light tone and engage participants from the start. It can break the ice and get everyone in a relaxed, open frame of mind, making it easier to discuss the matters at hand.

For instance, sharing a limerick about endless meetings before launching into an agenda-heavy session can help make the meeting feel more approachable and even add a touch of humor to the proceedings.

b) Employee Recognition and Rewards

Limericks can be used to recognize achievements and celebrate milestones in a fun and creative way. Instead of giving a traditional “Employee of the Month” speech, managers could write and recite a personalized limerick that highlights the employee’s unique contributions in a humorous manner.

This approach not only provides recognition but also injects a sense of personality and fun into the process, making it memorable and lighthearted.

c) Team-Building Activities

As part of team-building exercises, employees can be encouraged to write their own limericks about workplace experiences. This activity encourages creativity, humor, and a shared sense of understanding about common challenges and situations at work.

Teams could even have friendly competitions to see who can write the funniest or most relatable limerick, fostering camaraderie and collaborative spirit.

d) Office Communication

Including a humorous limerick in office communications, whether in newsletters, internal emails, or on bulletin boards, can be a simple way to add some fun to everyday work life. Whether it’s poking fun at the Monday blues or laughing about the chaos of deadlines, these limericks can bring a smile to employees’ faces and remind them that humor is an important part of a positive work environment.

5. The Benefits of Humor and Limericks in the Workplace

Humor, when used appropriately, is a powerful tool in fostering a positive work environment. Limericks, in particular, offer a structured, rhythmic way to introduce humor into the workplace without being disruptive. Some of the key benefits include:

a) Reducing Stress

Workplaces are often filled with stress, whether due to tight deadlines, difficult tasks, or interpersonal conflicts. Introducing humor through limericks can reduce this stress by allowing employees to laugh at shared frustrations. This release of tension can lead to a more relaxed and productive atmosphere.

b) Encouraging Creativity

Limericks are a great way to encourage creative thinking. By playing with language and meter, employees engage in a form of problem-solving that is both fun and mentally stimulating. This creative outlet can inspire employees to think outside the box when approaching work-related challenges.

c) Improving Communication

Limericks, with their simplicity and humor, can make difficult or uncomfortable topics easier to address. Whether it’s recognizing a team member’s hard work or highlighting areas for improvement, limericks can soften the message and promote a more open dialogue.

Conclusion

Limericks are a versatile and humorous form of poetry that can be effectively used in the workplace to promote camaraderie, creativity, and stress relief. By sharing limericks that touch on relatable workplace experiences, teams can bond over shared struggles and joys, creating a more positive and productive environment. Whether used in meetings, employee recognition, or just as a way to lighten the mood, limericks offer a fun and engaging way to bring a little humor into the professional world.

[recentlyheardcom]

China will soon be the world’s economic superpower, we have often been told.  For three decades, China has experienced double-digit annual economic growth. She has gone from being a largely agrarian economy that accounted for less than 2 percent of world output in 1980 to almost a fifth of output now.China’s rise, it has often been implied, is nothing to worry about. As China took off economically, we were reassured, she would become just like the rest of us.This, at least, was the thinking twenty years ago, when China was admitted to the World Trade Organisation. Back then, President Clinton talked of China as a ‘strategic partner’.By letting China join the international system, clever people in London and Washington suggested, China would become part of it.  Think of all those tens of millions of middle class Chinese, they assured us. Soon, like the middle classes in America and Europe, they would be demanding all the trappings of liberal democracy.But rather than becoming more Western, it is clear that China under President Xi is not just un-Western, but increasing anti-Western. China today is not part of the international order, but agitating to subvert it. Chinese foreign policy seems to be all about creating rival structures and processes. Chinese government agents engage in the kind of espionage activities you might expect from a hostile foe.Those that perpetuated this China delusion used to tell us that following the British handover of Hong Kong, China would grow to become more like Hong Kong. Instead, the opposite has happened. Hong Kong has been brought into line with the rest of China, and the freedoms her people had have been taken away.Far from taking her place at the international table, China behaves as if she wants to overturn it. China masses troops, ships, planes and missiles in the western Pacific, bullying Taiwan and making little secret of her plan to invade the island. This would be the moral equivalent of the United States threatening to annex Vancouver Island.Rather than becoming more Western, China’s government continually seeks new ways to restrict her citizens from accessing the internet. Digital technology has been harnessed to monitor the day to day activities of her own people. The autocrats that preside over China are so thin skinned and morally bankrupt, they actively clamp down on the Falun Gong movement. This is rather like the US government trying to shut down yoga classes.The assumption that China, under the communist party, is ever going to emulate the West is wrong.  But perhaps the real China fallacy is the notion that the Middle Kingdom is destined to be a great superpower at all.For decades, highbrow magazines have been publishing articles forecasting that China’s economy will overtake America’s. At one time, we were told this would happen in the 2020s. Then it was the 2030s. Now I read it is supposed to happen before 2050.I predict that China’s economy will never overtake America’s. Only last year, China ceased to be the most populous country on the planet, as India overtook her. China’s demographic future looks ominous. Today there are 1.4 billion people in China.  By the end of this century, some estimate that China’s population will have fallen about 40 percent to 800 million.The next few years, I predict, will see a significant fall in China’s economic growth. It is relatively easy to produce big gains in economic output when you move farm workers into factories (see Soviet Russia in the 1950s for details). China was able to accelerate economically as a consequence of Deng Xiaoping’s reforms. Deng’s policies were not only market-friendly: Under Deng, decision-making was relatively decentralized. Provinces and regions had lots of autonomy. Beijing did not try to pre-empt every decision. Business had at least some room to operate in a free-market manner.Under Xi, China has abandoned the Deng reforms, and reverted to what you might call the Ming tradition of top down control. It is not

an encouraging precedent, and its effects on business confidence and the economy have been chilling. Meanwhile the once-low cost of labour – one of the factors which powered all that growth – is rising as China’s population stabilises and ages.An imminent era of Chinese pre-eminence has been predicted by Western observers since at least the eighteenth century. Somehow it never quite materialises. China’s history is often a story of false starts and stifled innovation.Yes, from the compass and printing to gunpowder, China was home to many of the great inventions that shaped the modern world. But China’s tendency towards top down control prevented her benefiting from those inventions the way Europeans were able to.As China shuts her citizens off from the world once again, clamps down on all dissent, and introduces stringent, innovation sapping regulations, I wonder if history is repeating itself?Far from being an economic dynamo, China today is on course to becoming the next Japan. Like China, Japan was once supposed to overtake America. Instead, a previously thriving, export-driven economy has been reduced to stagnation by demographics and debt.So China may not become the world’s economic superpower, but this does not mean that China is not a threat. Quite the opposite.Just over a century ago, a recently industrialized power, Germany, started to challenge the international order. Economically and militarily powerful, Germany nonetheless sensed that other powers were not so far behind. Among Germany’s leaders there was a sense that if Germany was serious about rearranging the furniture in Europe, she had a limited window of opportunity to do so.  The consequences of that mindset were catastrophic.My fear is that China’s leaders today may think themselves to be caught in a similar window of opportunity. China’s demographic calamity, coupled with slow growth, mean that her relative power will only decline.America is right to be strengthening her fleet in the Pacific.  It is also important that America works with an alliance of countries, including Australia, South Korea and Japan to ensure the security of the Pacific.China may never be the world’s number one economic power. She will, I suspect, be the world’s biggest geopolitical headache for the foreseeable future.Douglas Carswell is the President & CEO of the Mississippi Center for Public Policy. He was previously the UK Member of Parliament for ClactonBroaden your horizons with award-winning British journalism. Try The Telegraph free for 1 month, then enjoy 1 year for just $9 with our US-exclusive offer.

[naralanis]

little bumps in the road (pt. 25)

Previously, on LBitR...

She missed.

She missed?!

Lena can’t quite believe her eyes—she’s stunned stupid when the suit’s target tracking system beeps and chimes as it tries to locate and lock onto the little blue dot that is now flying somewhere a few hundred feet below her.

Her arms—and, more importantly, the Kryptonite blasters—are pointed slightly upward at an angle slanted just high enough to have missed Kara, had she stayed put.

Which she hadn’t, thankfully.

Lena hears the crackle of static inside her helmet, followed by a low groan of frustration Lex was too slow to mask.

She has very little time to bask in that small victory. Lena’s first instinct it to fly away, as far from Kara as she can possibly manage; however, as if it picks up on Lex’s anger, the implant at her temple sends what feels like an electric shock sparking right into her skull.

It catches Lena off-guard, so much so that she releases a yelp of pain as she tries to reach blindly for her temple in a reflexive action.

The loud thunk of metal on metal—more especially, her gauntlet making unimpeded contact to the suit helmet—stops her short, and with a start, Lena realizes that despite the connection Lex has established with the implant, she was able to complete the movement.

Wherever he’s holed up, Lex seems to have arrived at the same conclusion; Lena hears an angry yelp resonate within her helmet, and then the pain at the side of her head flares white hot, hotter and brighter than ever.

It disorients her for a moment, but more than that; it makes Lena clench her teeth because, for once, it’s not all she’s feeling.

She hears the thrusters of the Lexosuit. She hears the whirr and hum of the blasters as they recharge. She feels her broken hand, encased and stifled by a cast and the Lexosuit gauntlet, throbbing in pain with all the action. She feels the tender, bitten spot of her tongue and tastes the coppery tang of blood in her mouth.

It’s like the connection grows more tenuous by the second.

Unthinkably, as she hovers in the air cataloguing everything she feels and hears besides the implant in her temple, Lena releases a bark of laughter. She can’t remember the last time she had so many boxes to work with, so to speak.

Maybe the laughter came a bit too early, because Lex seems to realize his grasp on her mind is growing weaker and weaker.

“Trust me, Lena, this is far from over.”

The trigger words do what Lex designed them to do, of course. Lena feels the pulse, but this time, she is expecting it—she boxes the flash of pain before it can swell into something unbearable and is almost proud of her momentary triumph.

What she doesn’t expect, however, is for the Lexosuit to suddenly shut down entirely.

She’s falling, then, plummeting toward the pavement at a sickening speed, and her limbs are flailing as she tries to repower her suit, but there’s just so much happening in her head at once and oh god, Lena is going to puke in this goddamned suit…

“Lena!”

Lena doesn’t even need to look—she knows it’s Kara, knows she’s zipping through the air to come and break her fall before it’s too late.

Kara’s almost there, too, when the suit comes to life again at the very last second and Lena realizes, belatedly, what Lex is trying to do.

“Kara, get away!”

The blasters shoot just as the thrusters re-engage abruptly, shooting Lena upwards in a burst of green light, and Kara—

Kara’s sent careening through the air, crashing through the walls of the main branch of National City Bank.

“No!” Lena shouts, drowning out the sound of Lex’s laughter in her ears.

“Come on, Lena,” he prods gleefully. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”

She feels his control returning, and it’s so much, so many things at once for her brain to fight, she finds herself slipping.

The target-tracking systems of the suit beep again; Kara’s little blue dot is moving—slower, but moving nonetheless.

Lena doesn’t have the time to be relieved, because the Lexosuit’s already taking off after Supergirl, and Lena feels her brother’s control returning, and it’s so much, so many things at once for her brain to fight, she finds herself slipping, unable to redirect it.

She bursts through the wall, and Kara scrambles away, looking slightly worse for the wear.

“Lena!” she shouts, and damn her, she still looks relieved, despite the faint, glowing green veins beginning to crawl over her skin.

Lena manages to move her arm away again at the last second, through monumental effort, just as Kara ducks away from another Kryptonite blast that blows a hole with scorching green edges on the wall behind her.

“Kara, get away!” Lena cries. She can feel Lex doing something to regain full control, like he is stitching together threads to tether her to his whims again. Her mind’s beginning to go foggy, and Lena’s tired, and she doesn’t know how much longer she can hold her own against him through willpower alone.

“Kara, go!”

“No!” Kara shouts back—she’s smiling, why the fuck is she smiling? “Lena, it’s OK! I trust you!”

Lena wants to scream at the Kryptonian that it’s not a matter of trust, it’s a matter of keeping away from a Kryptonite-powered war suit Lena has no control over.

Lena can’t even hear how giddy Lex sounds anymore. All she hears is the sound of the blasters at her arms charging to fire again, the sirens at the city below, the crackle of energy that seems to surround them entirely, and Kara…

Kara’s voice.

“Lena,” she’s speaking calmly, arms in Lena’s direction as if Lena is not the most dangerous thing to a Kryptonian in this planet at the minute.

“Lena,” Kara continues, stepping closer, so close the suit’s targeting system locks right onto her face, and Lena can see the green of Kryptonite getting stronger on her features with every step that she takes.

“No—”.

“Lena,” Kara cuts her off, still smiling like an idiot like everything’s going to be alright. “It’s OK. You can do it, Lena. You’re already doing it.”

“Kara, get away—”

Strong hands grab at the arms of the Lexosuit and Lena finds herself trembling. Lex will fire at any second now; Kara’s already close, too close, and all it takes is the push of a button and then she’ll be gone.

“It’s OK,” Kara says softly, so close now that she might as well be whispering in her ear. The ominous hum of the fully charged blasters almost drowns her out. “You’re doing so well, Lena. Trust me, it’s OK.”

Several things happen at once. One, Lex releases a howl of pure, unadulterated fury that reverberates inside the helmet like the angry clash of a gong. Two, Lena thinks her brain has actually begun to melt with the sudden intensity of the pain emanating from her temple. But then…

It vanishes within a split second. Lex regains control and fires; however, he’s already too late—Lena’s already shooting up through the ceiling and into the sky out of her own volition, sending the jets of green far into the horizon, away from Kara.

Lex is fuming.

“It seems I underestimated both of you, especially our little Kryptonian friend,” his voice comes through once more, and holy shit he sounds absolutely livid. “But trust me, Lena—”

Lena laughs again. Lex’s trigger words still ache and resonate in her brain; but they are no longer the debilitating blinding flashes he meant them to be. They’re twinges; pinpricks, really, and much more easily dealt with.

Easily boxed up.

“You tried, Lex,” Lena hisses, feeling a little high, a little light-headed at this sudden, inexplicable turn of the tables. “And you failed.”

“I haven’t failed yet, Lena,” he retorts, clearly angry beyond belief, but with a sudden calmness that sends a chill down Lena’s spine.

“I wanted you alive to witness the grand-finale, Lena, but make no mistake,” he continues, voice cold and vengeful in a way Lena hasn’t heard since he turned the sun red, a lifetime ago. “I have no qualms over collateral damage. We all must make sacrifices, after all.”

Lena realizes too late. She’s high above the clouds when her suit visor goes dark—the words OVERRIDE flash before her eyes, and a ten-second counter begins, flashing in ominous green right below. The blasters retract, but the hum of the Kryptonite charge doesn’t go away; if anything it intensifies, becomes so deafening Lena is scarcely even aware she’s falling again.

She doesn’t need to see Kara speeding after her. She can only take the few seconds she has left to scream for her to get away, far, far away, or she’ll die with Lena. She’ll die, because Lex’s last move was to make his own sister into a Kryptonite bomb. 

<< Previous || Next >>

[guiltysecretpasttime]

Linzin Week 2021 Day 4: Gaoling / Nobility

Note: Here is my contribution for Day 4: Gaoling / Nobility. I admit - this was a bit of a ramble, a ramble that I rather enjoyed as I tried to put into writing this plot bunny I had in mind. Hope you like it. (unedited as of posting time)

-----

Pairing: Lin/Tenzin

Rating: Teen

One shot, AU

You may also read this in AO3.

Lin scrabbled around the room, lifting objects and crouching under furniture. Apparently, searching for clothes appeared to be challenging if they were strewn haphazardly the night before.

Aha.

She crawled partially under the bed, taking care not to stay on the floor too long, to grab her shorts. Her top and underwear, meanwhile, she snatched from behind the lounge seat.

As she put on her underwear, she mused at how the past days went -her five days of independence in Ember Island.

It definitely was lovely, a nice escape from reality and the pressures of her life. She knew she had to make the most of it. It would not be long before the lackeys of her grandparents would find her.

Lin believed herself stealthy and crafty enough to escape Beifong manor undetected. She was proud to say that she did all that and managed to arrive at Ember Island without bribing anyone. She liked to think that she would have made a good criminal or detective if she were not born into the House of Beifong.

Poor Suyin. Her grandfather was sure to tighten security at home now. There was no way her younger sister would manage to have the same ‘liberties’ she had.

Lin snorted as she tied her hair up.

Not like there was a lot of freedom to begin with.

A groan came from the figure on the bed.

Lin hurried dressing up. It simply would not do to have to have that morning after conversation.

The man continued to slumber on, turning to his side, mouth open with a bit of drool at the corner of his lip.

She smiled at the view while she stuffed her other belongings into her satchel.

As much as she wanted for a repeat of the night before (and earlier that morning) and to run her fingers through his soft brown hair, the earthbender knew that her self-control would be tested. She was bound to end up not leaving at all. And that, she sighed at the memory of the pale wiry arms that were wrapped around her, would be catastrophic. There would have been no way for her to hide her identity if her family descends upon Ember Island.

After one final look, Lin Beifong slipped out of the hostel room of her technically three-night stand. She fled to the inn on the other side of the island to prepare for her trip back home.

It was unlike her to be reckless. But damn Agni, did she need this.

But, of course, her life being her life, her luck being her luck, little did she know that this act of rebelliousness would have its repercussions.

 ---

Tenzin bit his cheek to stop from furiously answering back. They were at the last leg of their diplomatic tour.

Tour.

He scoffed.

More like the Search.

As in the Search for a bride.

Correction – the Search for His Bride.

It was quite tedious, honestly. They have been at it for more than a year now. His father descended from the Air Nomads but this was amount of time on the road was ridiculous.

He did not mind travelling, honestly. He enjoyed it. The feel of the wind while using his glider or the sight of the clouds while on Oogi… In fact, the misguided yet hopeful part of him saw to it that he travelled at least monthly to Ember Island, in a bid to recreate the blissful memories of a past vacation (or rather, in a bid to try and meet the earthbender again, though he failed at spotting her every time).

On the other hand, travelling with his parents meant having a retinue composed of his father’s main advisory council and security. It was fine – for the most part. Accompanying his father during his diplomatic visits around the world was unique, educational and inspiring.

What he hated was that the advisors tended to barge in at all times of the day, leaving no respite for the family when they were on the road.

Right now, for example, Abbot Yuji was going on about the status of the Northern Air Temple.

His father is the Avatar and the one of two of the last airbenders so it was expected that this was well within the territory.

What was grating was how Abbot Yuji started to describe the temple and the lovely female air acolytes that populated it.

Having an acolyte from your Air Temple married off to the family of the Avatar? Outstanding. Having an acolyte from your Air Temple married to the only single airbender? Priceless.

He was getting frustrated at the blatant -.

“Stop frowning, Tenzin.” His mother whispered to him, leaning at his side. “You know Bumi underwent the same thing.”

Oho but no, Bumi did not.

The thought made Tenzin frown deeper.

 Avatar Aang and Master Katara’s eldest son had gone ahead years ago and caused a scandal when he eloped in the Fire Nation capital. It was a love match.

Even Kya, the most free-spirited of the siblings, had discarded tradition, gotten engaged them wed to an air acolyte. It was also a love match.

Tenzin wanted the same, except, since apparently he was the only one left of his family bloodline to take over his father’s position in the Air Nation, it was close to impossible to form any lasting romantic entanglements.

There was a lot to take up, to get heavily involved in the Air Nation. To be fair, all of the children of the previously last airbender were equally exposed and poised to lead as part of their birthright. However, Bumi went on to be the consort of the Crown Princess of the Fire Nation. Then, just a few years ago, Kya agreed and, together with her wife, settled in the Southern Water Tribe to take up the mantle as the chosen heir of the late Chief, their Uncle Sokka.

That left him – Tenzin, the airbender.

The master airbender, his father would proudly introduce him – all shaved and tattooed. Despite the ceremony being a few months old, it all still felt fresh to him. It certainly felt odd to him to be shaven and so Tenzin had taken it upon himself to grow out a beard.

Anyone who would marry him would be part of the most powerful dynasties to date. His currently unmarried state was not due to the lack of prospects. And yet for some reason, his parents still saw it fit to keep going back to Gaoling.

Gaoling – which was the only city-state in the entire Earth Kingdom that had their nobles shun the Avatar and his family when they dropped by to visit last year.

Gaoling – where, coincidentally, was where they were a few miles in.

“Why do we keep going back here?” Tenzin turned to his mother once his father made his routine exit of the satomobile. Aang would usually leave the vehicle and go ahead of the convoy, using his glider to reach their destination earlier. “They don’t seem interested in meeting up with us anyway.” He was referring to the highborn family of the area.

Katara paused in the knitting she was working on. “Your father was almost betrothed to their daughter.”

This information took Tenzin aback. They all grew up hearing their parents’ epic love story. This was mainly why they had wanted the same for themselves. So, to hear that it was almost a different story was surprising.

Tenzin shook his head. “What happened?” He eyed the gates with the winged boar insignia the loomed nearer.

“Your father was going around at that time, seeking for support to campaign against the tyranny of the Fire Lord.” His mother tucked her yarn and work in progress in a weathered pouch. “It did not help his case that he had abandoned his role for years on, resulting in the Air Nomads being wiped out. There was a bit of bargaining and one of the conditions of Lao Beifong was to have the Beifong heiress wed Aang.”

Tenzin vaguely noted that the rest of their convoy turned left to the town proper while only their vehicle urged on forward.

The gong sounded from outside of the satomobile, announcing their arrival at the large ominous gate of Beifong estate.

“And then?” Tenzin prodded urgently as the gates opened and the satomobile crept slowly into the grounds of the Beifong family.

“Aang was weighing his options then when the younger Lady Beifong refused adamantly. We were turned away that same moment from the estate. In an unexpected turn of events, Toph Beifong saw it fit to defy her family and joined us. She became your father’s earthbending teacher.”

Tenzin’s eyebrows raised.

He had grown up to tales of his father’s bending masters. Only the blind earthbending master Toph, who became the world’s first metalbender, remained a bit of a mystery to him. For one thing, aside from the Monk Gyatso, he never met her. He only learned now that she has a surname.

There was a sense of anticipation now.

Maybe they will get to meet her in a few minutes?

Tenzin looked out the window. They were now parking in front of what looked to be a sprawling mansion. They have certainly made it further than they did in the last non-visit, where the guards did not even open the gates for them.

The metalbender was the stuff of legend. After having established a metalbending academy, Tenzin can find no trace of what happened to Toph Beifong.

So much was his anticipation that Tenzin did not notice the somber expression of his mother.

 ---

Lin sat in front of the dresser in her bedroom, silently watching as her grandmother’s maid finished tucking her thick black hair into a bun and placing the last strand of beads coiled around it. After ascertaining that she did not need any further help, the maid made herself scarce, stating she will be back once Lady Beifong called for Lady Lin’s attendance.

Lin blinked once at her reflection on the dresser mirror.

Twice.

She did not feel like herself.

She tilted her head.

She did not look like herself either.

If she were to be honest, the last time she truly felt like herself was the reprieve she had during her stolen time in Ember Island.

Breathing deeply, she reached for a tissue. Methodically, the young woman wiped off one side of her face, then the other.

She blinked again as the angry red marks on her cheek became visible.

 ---

A touch of his wife on his arm and Avatar Aang knew what she was asking.

It was unusual for none of the Beifongs to be standing in attendance to welcome their visitors.

Aang tucked his wife’s arm into his and patted it. He nodded to his son to follow.

Various household staff bowed to them as Aang led them deeper into the manor. Tenzin looked around curiously, keeping himself within hearing distance of his parents.

“Lord Beifong is in bad shape; he has been since the fire that broke out in the estate last year.” Aang finally shared.

Katara gasped in dismay, gripping Aang’s arm tightly. “And Lady Beifong?”

“She’s doing the best she could. She is…coping.”

“And their grandchildren?”

Aang shrugged weakly, stating he had not seen the grandchildren of the Beifongs yet.

“Is this why they are now considering the proposal…?” Katara trailed off, tossing a quick glance at their son who was seemed to be preoccupied by the framed portraits they were passing.

The Avatar nodded. “I had hoped it would be a joyous occasion, but this is what we’re dealt with.”

 ---

Tenzin clutched the warm teacup, looking into the dark tea in contemplation with what he had learned so far.

He sat at his parents’ side at the formal tearoom of the Beifongs, a silent participant and observer. Across them, Lady Poppy Beifong sat demurely, seemingly fragile and with the graceful bearing of someone born into the nobility. The airbender found it hard to believe that this woman gave birth to his father’s tough earthbending master.

Pleasantries were exchanged at the beginning and a stream of maids served them tea and an assortment of light snacks. His father shared about the different festivals across the nations that they had attended recently while his mother told stories about the flora they encountered during their trips. Even he was called upon to talk about the developments across the reconstruction of the Air Temples. Lady Beifong calmly spoke about the renovations in their estate, to revive the areas that the fire had touched.

After some obscure statements that were traded among the other people in the room, Tenzin was struck by the realization.

Toph Beifong was dead.

For how long – Tenzin tried to recall of portraits in the hallway – it must have been a long time ago as all of the portraits and photographs were quite dated.

Oddly enough, grandchildren (Toph’s children?) were mentioned and yet there were no photographs of them.

 ---

Lin tapped her fingers somewhat nervously on the armrests. She tried to get engrossed in the book she was reading, but her mind was not into it.

A few rooms down, her future was being decided, so much for being a young woman of independent means.

 As expected, upon her return from Ember Island, Lin received the scolding of her life. Never mind that she was already in the twenties – running off on her own was unbecoming of a Beifong Lady.

Words were said. Lord Lao Beifong’s word was final and his granddaughter had no other recourse but to continue to submit to the duties of the Beifong heiress. The families that depended on their lands for a living were part of her responsibility. Both the Beifongs and their staff flourished under Lin’s attention. Lao was pleased with the profitability of their produce and in turn, with Lin. At least, until it became a Problem.

Once it became apparent, Lord and Lady Beifong cut down the number of their staff and security, locking once again the Beifong gates, unwelcome to any visitors. It was during this period when the Avatar and family had passed by for a diplomatic visit the year prior.

It was also in this situation, a few months later, did fire strike in the household. With the limited staff, it took a long time to get the fire under control. By then, her grandfather, who had been at the indoor arboretum at the time, had inhaled much of the smoke.

Lin and her sister had sought to pry open the gates of the arboretum that had gotten tighter during the fire. In a miscalculated move, metal shrapnel that Suyin fashioned out of her practice cables flew from her grasp and hit Lin as they both struggled to release their grandfather. Despite the blood dripping to her chin and Suyin’s teary apologies, Lin did not pause and endured the pain while working on metalbending the gates open.

They did succeed though Lord Beifong was not the same presence as he used to be.

Once assured that her grandfather would live, Lin endured one of the longest nights of her life.

 Since then, changes as to how the household was run were made. Since then, Lin took it upon herself to manage the estate as penance. After all, if it were not for her situation, her reckless behavior, there would have been adequate support in the estate to prevent the fire from spreading.

Bringing herself back to the present, Lin stopped her woolgathering as the knock on the door signaled that her presence was wanted by her grandmother and her visitors.

With one last look, Lady Lin stood to meet with her prospective in-laws.

 ---

Tenzin waited in tense silence with his parents.

He knew the drill – they had done this song and dance numerous times with other noble families around the different nations. Discussions about potential courtships between him and the daughter, eliciting information about familial expectations and loyalties… Nonetheless, not a single marital agreement came about.

One word from him and his parents would cease and back off from the negotiation or pursuing the potential bride.

Today, however, sitting in the opulent tearoom in the Earth Kingdom while waiting for Lady Beifong and her granddaughter, felt different. There was something in the air, a history that seemed to tie the two families. Or at least, the Avatar and his earthbending master (who, Tenzin learned had quietly passed during the birth of her second daughter).

Click-click-clack-click-click-clack.

Lady Beifong’s shoes echoed at the corridor, followed by a softer set of steps.

The door slid open.

 ---

Lin kept her head bowed as she greeted the family of the Avatar.

A Beifong lady keeps her eyes averted. So, she did.

A Beifong lady keeps silent until spoken to. So, she did.

She sat down beside her grandmother, hands crossed on her lap, vaguely paying attention to the discussion.

That was why she was surprised to feel a cool hand touching her scarred cheek.

 ---

“…Introduce you to my granddaughter.”

 Everything paused for Tenzin when Lady Beifong stepped aside to present the younger Lady Beifong.

 He caught sight of her face.

Her eyes. He will never forget those eyes.

 He went through the motions next, his body on autopilot as his mind brought up memories he frequently revisited.

 Those eyes which crinkled in laughter when he dropped her in the sea.

Those eyes whose pupils dilated in the dark as he gripped her thighs high.

Those eyes which rested on his without judgment while he whispered his fears of not being a good enough bender for his parents.

 Lin now sat before him, where he now found it easy to observe her.

Her face – her porcelain skin was slashed --- who could have done this, what could have happened?

He was barely aware of what he was doing, he reached out gingerly to touch –.

SLAP!

Lin looked at him aghast.

His parents and her grandmother faced them in alarm.

Lin stood up. “Excuse me, everyone, grandmother, may I be excused?” Without waiting for a response, she bowed and rapidly made her way out of the room.

“I-I-I,” Tenzin stammered, dazed. “I apologize I don’t know what came over me.” He motioned to follow. “I need to find Lin.” He bowed and went out as well.

 ---

It took them a few more minutes to recover from what happened.

And it took them several more to realize that they never did mention yet Lin’s name to Tenzin.

 ---

“Wait, Lin – I’m sorry – wait!” Tenzin managed to grab her arm when she turned at the end of the corridor.

Lin shrugged him off. “How dare you!” She gritted out, each word hard with controlled anger. “Just because I look like this,” She waved a hand in the direction of her scarred cheek. “I don’t fit the mold of the perfect debutant your parents might wish for you – you don’t have the right to -!”

“Lin, I’m sorry – and it’s… it’s me!” He placed his hand on his chest. “Tenzin, from the beach.”

“No, you’re not.” Lin stared at him.

“I’m Tenzin – from Ember Island, don’t you remember me?” He plodded on, almost desperately. Didn’t their encounter mean anything to her like it did for him?

“No, you’re not him.” Lin shook her head frantically. “Were you hired by grandmother? Suyin? This isn’t a funny joke.” Her voice rose a pitch with each sentence.

What.

Then it clicked.

Damn – his hair.

Maybe Bumi was right – his personality came with his hair.

“No, Lin, it really is me – I – I’m a master bender now.” He raised his hands up, showing the tips of the tattooed arrows.

 ---

Lin took a step back, finally taking in the man who was her potential betrothed.

It couldn’t be…could it?

He did sound and look like the Tenzin she met last year…

Then it clicked that it was him.

How could she not have recognized him when she had retreated to thinking about their time in Ember Island as an escape…

 “Excuse me, Lady Lin? It’s his feeding time.”

Lin froze, almost regretting her instruction to the governess that she could interrupt whatever Lin was doing at any time. She swallowed thickly, ignoring Tenzin’s dumbfounded expression and plastered a smile on her face.

She turned to the governess who had been looking for her and reached out her arms to take the precious bundle for her.

“Hello, dear, are you hungry now?” Lin Beifong nuzzled the baby in her arms.

 ---

Footsteps clattered nearer to where they stood.

Lady Beifong, Master Katara and Avatar Aang came to a halt as they rounded the corner.

Lin, Tenzin and even the baby turned to face the new arrivals.

Tenzin leaned forward, gravitating towards the child, who blinked back at him with bright grey eyes.

“Sweetie,” Katara started cautiously. “Not to be anything but – don’t forget about propriety, don’t act too...familiar with them.” Her eyes darted towards the Beifongs and their staff, likely worried that any action might be turned against him and he would not escape the situation unscathed.

“I think I’ve done more than enough to be familiar with Lin, mother.” The airbender tickled the nose of the child, to the outraged gasp of Lady Beifong and the widened eyes of his mother.

“Ah-CHWOOOOSH!”

Silence fell on the group.

The baby giggled as he rubbed his nose.

Lin and Tenzin shared a look of awe.

 Of all their trips to Gaoling, Avatar Aang could claim that this was his favorite.

The day he met his airbending grandson.

 ---

Avatar Aang and Master Katara’s children all grew up hearing their parents’ epic love story. This was mainly why they had wanted the same for themselves.

The eldest, Bumi eloped with his childhood sweetheart, the Fire Nation’s Crown Princess Izumi. It was a love match.

Their only daughter Kya married her air acolyte wife in a simple Southern Water Tribe ceremony. It was also a love match.

Their youngest child, Tenzin wed the mother of his child, Lady Lin Beifong of Gaoling. It was, as everyone concluded, also a love match.

-------------

Note: And that's the end~. Love it or hate it - let me know!

[hazelcephalopod]

The Eye of the World Ch 50-51

Destination is reached. History is revealed, in a haze. An absolutely wild ride of a confrontation.

This will be the second to last one. So much happens in these chapters but this is actually one of my shorter posts on this.

Disclaimer: this is my first read thru but I’ve watched all of the show this far and been spoiled on some book things. So… I’m going to lean into that. Enjoy figuring out what I know, and what I think I know, and what I just don’t. Also s/x I add commentary when I edit.

Spoilers for the first book and up to the most recent episode under the cut. Potential spoilers for latter books.

Ch 50

Leaf

I mean… ok. I guess he’s a legend

Oh! He’s like that forest dude in Lotr. No I don’t remember his name

They have now truly just entered the feywild. A nice part of the feywild

Oh right. Horses!

“I’d really like to see the Tree of Life.” -Mat

Why indeed?

Mm not water is it?

Cool so the ancient Aes Sedai made this well of pure saidin and no one knows why except it’s for a time of desperate need.

Which Moiraine is so sure is rn. So sure.

…Also it disincorporates rocks.

“Why did you bring us here?” -Rand. Considering all she just explained I’d also be wondering and feeling that

Oh fuck. “I have found you at last.” -ominous unknown voice. Like… can not be good

Two creeps? Certainly not good. Not at all. Worse than I though honestly

Old creep?!

Mm no. Don’t like. Plz go

Aginor and Balthamel. Ok. Uh. The fuck?

I see the Forsaken like to monologue.

This isn’t good. Oh no. Lan is down. Nynaeve’s down. Everyone is ready to run towards death

…except maybe Rand? (Editor me: not so sure about that. He just had extra steps)

Green man!

No!

Wtf?!

Holy shit the Green Man just died. And turned into a tree! He was a red shirt!

Egwene girl no! Honestly commendable but no

Oh. Oh fuck. That’s not good.

They’re all just running. Moiraine is maybe trying to sacrifice herself for them?!

Oh shit!

Ch 51: Against the Shadow

Sword handle

Oh that’s good tension for mostly just describing terrain

Oh fuck… this guy ‘I’m supposed to capture you. But honestly. Fuck that! Die! I don’t want to share!’ Lol

I’m guessing these Forsaken don’t play well with others (editor me: evidence mounts for this)

“I, who faced Lews Therin Telamon in the Hall of Servants itself. I, who threw my might against the Lord of the Morning and met him stroke for stroke. I think not.” -Aginor to Rand. What now? I got that your immortal but uh that’s news. Confident. Real confident.

So he’s going to sever that connection cord?

Uh guess not? (I later learn… still foreshadowing)

He just fucking teleported! Rand! Dude!

The hell is happening no? This is weird. I’m intrigued

He teleported into the Gap?

(Why do Trollocs have banners… I guess Fades??)

How do you know all that?

This battle really isn’t going well for the people huh?

Draghkar are like winged vampire looking demons? Ok. Huh. Not what I’d been imagining at all

“He fell to his knees; he thought he could hear his tears sizzling on his cheeks. ‘No!’ He clutched at tufts of wiry grass for some hold on reality; the grass burst in flame. ‘Please, nooooooo!’” -Rand, having instinctively teleported into battle at the Gap. Feeling the one power fill him. Bringing down lightening bolts on instinct.

…man does this book make battles feel horrifying. Which, it does well imo

Earthquake! But srsly… (Editor me: that line punches me in the gut again editing this. That does the emotions)

“It has to end!” -Rand & “He beat at the ground with his fist, and the earth tolled like a gong. He bruised his hands on stony soil, and the earth trembled. Ripples ran through the ground head of him in everrising waves…

Oh you poor boy. It won’t end for a long time yet…

Is that Balzo? Damn

“Darkness surrounded him, the utter darkness of total nothing.”

More teleportation? Cool

“Time stood still in nothingness. Time ran faster. He climbed…” -(Rand). This sounds… is this actually the Ways or some similar space? If teleportation is just like entering tesseract space that’s kinda cool actually (editor me: I think no? Not using inlater lewrn b/c I didn’t feel I did!)

Oh this is the dream world again!

Oh shit!

50 pages left!

“The two cords beat like heartveins, in countertime, against each other…” -the cords of Rand and Ba’alzamon

Oh fuck. Oh he really has been pulling strings if that is true.

That is such a huge game tho. I bet there’s more that didn’t pan out

Thx Tam. That meditation training is really helping

But you didn’t know it was him for sure until now did you Balzo? So obsessed with controlling him, refusing to just end it, you have doomed yourself.

Well that’s deeply fucked isn’t it?

Ok. Uh. Laser beam sword?

Hey! He did it! He cut a cord! Just not the other dudes

Yes Balzo is defeated! /j

Lol

Ah yea I’d imagine the channeling sickness would be pretty great from that much power

[cyberneticlagomorph]

🔴 cyberneticlagomorph is live on Caster!

The camera angle is different this time, kind of above and behind, bobbing slightly.

Probably a drone.

The feed is crisp at least.

Night had fallen about a few hours ago.

But the cold had set in much sooner

Frost was already gathering on the ground, making the grass and dead leaves crunch loudly under paw

On the hill behind the Warren, an old unnatural thing made of buckled asphalt and rubble, is a line of milk trucks. Their headlights glow like eyes and cast the figures in front of them into shadow.

The glare is annoying at best but Jack and her brood don't really seem to mind it.

The emblem of the Department of Lactic Affairs on the sides and hoods of the trucks have been marked with blood, fat droplet shapes have been drawn on the cow's forehead.

Making them holy.

Shapes peel away from the line, clad in flowing red robes, faces so deep in shadow that they might as well be nonexistent.

They raise their arms high above their heads and fall to their knees, mooing like cows.

The children around Jack burst into laughter and sharp shushes that seem to go unheard until something rises from the soil in front of the milkmen. Clean, white and fresh, like a cold glass of milk.

Long and gangly, like a newborn calf.

He can't be any older than 15.

Dressed in a milkman's uniform, with his hat tilted back to keep it off of the nubby little horns on his forehead.

He too has been marked with blood and made holy.

Despite never seeing this being before, you immediately KNOW who and what this thing is, as if the information is being shoved into your brain by force.

The creature, this being is the Milkman.

THE Milkman.

The one true Milkman.

Son of Mammifa, their six eyed cow God shackled deep below the earth.

His smile is endless, teeth white and perfect.

Eyes that deep baleful black only animals can manage.

His ears are long and expressive, like a real cow. They frame his face pleasantly and make him almost charming.

There is a ring through his nose, like a septum piercing but Not. Golden and glowing like a misplaced halo.

A bell hangs around his neck, but it doesn't make that familiar clunk-clunk that a cowbell should. It gongs and chimes like a brass church bell and the sound soaks into your fucking bones.

The Milkman doesn't seem to notice or mind, for his voice carries across the field and over the noise as if it just wasn't there. His mouth doesn't move when he speaks, but it hurts to hear.

"I am the Milkman, my milk is delicious! But you know that, don't you?" He tilts his head and flicks his ears and looks uncomfortably cute, "I am here for the one you call Jack, we wish to welcome them into our brotherhood, with open arms!"

He spreads his arms wide as if offering an embrace, and the camera finally lets you see his hands. Long, terrible claws tip each finger, and gore soaks his hands from clawtip to elbow.

The children bristle and hiss like a pack of agitated beasts.

The Milkman just smiles that same charming smile as he levitates ominously over the hole he crawled out of.

"We will take the one called Jack whole and unharmed, or in pieces." The Milkman's voice drops hard into an unnatural echoing growl that freaks out the camera and makes everyone (even the other milkmen) flinch.

The Milkman wiggles his big bovine ears, "Your choice."

One of the children breaks from the pack and chucks a rock at the Milkman, hitting him square in the face, "Fuck off!!" The kid shouts, followed by cheers from his comrades.

The Milkman's smile disappears, and a trickle of blood runs from the fresh gash over his eye, "Find then," he rumbles, and the ground shudders like a frightened dog, "In pieces it is."

The Milkman inhales and screams, a hideous warcry clawing its way out from deep in his guts. He sounds like a bull, shrill and enraged, it hurts worse than his voice does.

The milkmen charge forward at the sound, their bodies move wrong like puppets on a string.

Like dogs struggling against their leads.

Jack whistles and the ground buckles, a long vine shooting from the soil lightening fast to ensnare the Milkman and drag him kicking and screaming into the Warren.

The other milkmen go limp, some collapsing. After a moment they stare around in a daze, clearly confused.

"Go home," Jack says and wanders back into his house. The kids hiss and snarl, lunging at the milkmen until they get the idea and flee.

The feed ends there.

[project-paranoia]

Live Watch: Oh My General Episode One

Oh My General has got it all!  An interesting plot, crossdressing, throwing gender norms on a pottery wheel and reshaping them, humour, love, color coded concubines, and bi representation where the joke is about realising instead of about being. Ye Zhao - the titular general - is good-natured, gorgeous, and unapologetically who she is during the series.

A lot of what we cover are boys crying in the snow and then sword fighting each other - because that's a lot of what there is.  It's important to remember that there is other stories that both are and need to be told as well.  Crossdressing, especially historical crossdressing has long been an excuse to explore what it means to be who you are as well as the rights, privileges, and limitations of gender, sexuality, and social ranking.  Oh My General takes these concepts on with all the vigor of the main character and with so much good humor it can poke around the corners of identity in a way that feels refreshing.

* I assume that's a camel skull because desert, but I don't know how much of that Props has lying around. Everyone better beware, especially of the spoilers waiting below!

* Ye Zhao in full armor on top of a hill - remember to hydrate, summer is coming and it's bring the heat.

* The enemy army has arrived in the desert wearing fur hats so you know who they represent culturally.

* Working that high ponytail fashion.  That full face covering is probably great for switching between stunt person and actor, also when she's riding down the hill it makes her eyes black which is a very cool effect.

* Also, she's been guarding the border for 8 years and he doesn't know who she is? I know functionally that part of the script is for the Hyped by Your Enemies trope, but it still makes me laugh.

* Impressive opening fight scene, great sound design, beautiful shots.

* I should mention if you can't stand seeing animals get hurt you might want to skip a lot of the first part of episode one, it's not gratuitous, but it is a battle with horses. None of the horses are actually hurt of course, they're stunt horses and probably having a great time, but still.

* Dramas usually blow a lot of their budget on the opening fight scene and we don't see anything like it again.  Oh My General carries through to the end though.

* She knocked off his hat!

* Dramatic Sand Fight!

* I'm really into cinematography - as you may have noticed - and I love the camera work. Youku has a habit of using good behind the camera people. Wen Jie and Clarence Fok are both listed as directors but I don't know who did what.

* I honestly don't know enough about Chinese martial arts to have an opinion on the skill of the fight scene, but the filming is excellent.  One of the shorthands the series uses to discuss unusual gender situations is camera movement and angles.  The angle of the camera both makes Ye Zhao heroic, it makes her stand out on the landscape like a doll or action figure.  This playing with size an appearance is interesting and a unique way of teetering on the balance of where she does and doesn't belong.

* The sound design is strong and really sells the blows.

* Beautiful beheading

* Ominous hoofbeats!  Who will it be?  

* Of course it's our hero and she's really got a-head in life! (insert drum emoji of choice here)

* She just hocks that head through the air

* Ancient Chinese golf

* I love how serious she takes the game

* CGI bird is a Delight, and I support him

* There aren't that many good solid emperors in dramas.  They're struggling or malicious, or incompetent. I should do a review but do I have time to watch a lot of dramas and movies?  I do not.

* Love the ministers' costumes.  I often wonder about the people who play all those maids and eunuchs in dramas and movies.  I bet there are people who can make a career of it.  I wouldn't mind that kind of job.  I wonder if it's the same with court minsters, the people to stand around the characters who actually speak.  If anyone knows about the extra process for Chinese dramas please let me know!

* Court shade being thrown

* Ah!  When you see a character you'll grow to love but you don't know them yet. It's just heart eyes all the way down.  Do I have type? Perhaps. XD

* These men just love wearing furry hats in the desert.

* I know a lot of classic martial artists don't like wire work, but I kind of have a fondness for elements of something Extra in dramas.  If I wanted to look at real life I would open a window and accept the inevitable wave of depression.  I want something Bright and Fun

* I don't know that it's historically accurate, but there's something weirdly compelling about the emperor's words being translated into slang

* Elder Ye!

* I love how the servants are really aware of what's going on and know how to manage things.  I love and respect Gong.

* Elder Ye once again making trouble

* The ladies, I love them, I adore them

* Why does this man want to watch the general pee so bad?

* Fox!  I love him.  A good and important gentleman!

* ~their bones will melt~

* The romantic fresco, General Ye is having a moment as they contemplate the sudden appearance of a picture of a pretty young man and what that might mean. As someone who doesn't fit into gender norms evenly, seeing a man depicted in a very different way seems to give her pause to contemplate ways that someone can exist in and outside of gender normativity as well as her ~beloved.~

* Sudden foreshadowing memory.

* You know the Emperor's least favorite part of the day is when he asks the ministers if they have anything to bring up

* That moment when a character asks who would marry me to the person who wants to marry them XD

* "No matter how strong a woman is, she is waiting on a man to appear" Is she though?

* It's one things to marry a "project", it's another to be assigned one. XD

* The Empress is just playing dolls at this point XD

* Finally, we introduce the male lead, and the timing is perfect

* It's nice to see gentlemen dancers

* This slo mo scene is so good! This show understands the beauty in the mundane and absurd

* I love this dance scene so much!  The bi energy is unapologetically so strong and I always love to see traditional arts from anywhere.

* The way this backstory is delivered is so good!  I just love this scene, what a great way to end an excellent episode!

[ihavegaysex42069]

The Old Man of The Mountain" is non-stop Cab from beginning to end. He appears first as an owl, singing the title song. The words have been changed for the cartoon, in which the Old Man is a villain. In the original song, the Old Man is a benevolent character. Next we see Cab as the Old Man himself, rotoscoped and singing, "You Gotta Hi-De-Hi," followed by "The Scat Song."

The cartoon begins with live footage of Cab and his Orchestra playing around with the tune of Minnie the Moocher while Cab scats mildly and grins at the camera. Whereas Cab may have been caught by surprise when they used live footage of him in the earlier cartoon, "Minnie the Moocher", this time he is ready. He and his band are in dress white uniforms, Cab's hair is slicked back, and he pays attention to the camera. (The drummer, Leroy Maxey, is still playing with his drumsticks, though!)

Of the three cartoons starring Cab Calloway, this one has the least interesting and least surreal plot, and the animation is the crudest. Never-the-less, the very early live footage of Cab is a treasure, and this cartoon showcases his music from beginning to end, featuring three of his songs. He does some of his most remarkable ever scat singing in this version of The Scat Song.

In all of the Fleisher cartoons, Cab's characters are set in caves with menacing and ominous background illustrations: skeletons, skulls, ghosts, leering faces, and gambling, alcohol and drug paraphernalia. People have claimed that the Fleischers were unaware of the drug references in Cab's songs (for example, "kicking the gong around" meaning "smoking opium"), but the imagery in the animations suggests otherwise.