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worldserasingandcreatinginmymind · 3 years

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Unfaithful | Part Two

Series Summary: After dreaming of your perfect wedding since you were a little girl the big day is almost here. But after meeting the priest you start to question your relationship.

Pairing: Hot Priest x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 3243

Warnings: abusive behaviour, mentions of ‘bedroom activity’ 🙈

A/N: Please be warned there will be some themes of toxic/abusive relationship in this series. Also, spelling and grammar is not my strongest skill so please be kind :)

Part One | Masterlist

- - - - -

I knew weddings took a lot of planning, but I never realised they took this much. Every single tiny detail requires a decision and more often than not that decision falls on the bride’s shoulders.

Purple or yellow flowers?

Napkins folded as swans or roses?

Which table can we sit Uncle David at where he won’t start a fight?

I try to get Dan involved in the decision making but his response is always the same.

“It’s up to you babe”

Speaking of Daniel, I still haven’t told him we have to meet with the Priest again today. I tried a few times to bring it up but his mood changes instantly. I’ve still got a slight bruise on my wrist from the aftermath of the first meeting, but I keep it covered. I know he didn’t mean to hurt me.

I pull the sleeve of my jumper down over my wrist as I approach Daniel in the kitchen.

“You look nice, where you going today?” He asks as he makes himself a cup of tea.

“Actually…” I take a breath “we’ve got our second meeting with the Priest today”

“What do you mean? We’ve already met him once why do we need to go again?” He doesn’t look as me as he swirls the teabag around in his mug with a spoon.

“It’s just church policy, he has to meet with us a few times before the wedding”

“Well I’m not going”

“Dan-“

“I SAID NO!” He erupts, swiping his mug off the counter so it smashes and tea spills everywhere. He storms out of the kitchen, leaving me stood in the mess he’s made. I stare at it bewildered for a moment as it sinks in what he’s done and I feel my blood start to boil.

“Daniel!” I shout as I follow after him. I find him in the hallway taking his coat off the hook as he heads for the front door “where are you going?”

“Pub”

“Dan, the priest is expecting us in half an hour! Both of us!”

“Then I guess he’s doing to be disappointed. Or not. You two got along just fine the other day, it was almost as if I wasn’t even there”

“We both tried to include you in the conversation multiple times but you just… weren’t present”

“Well then today won’t be any different will it”

He walks out and slams the door behind him.

I stand alone in the hallway for a few minutes taking deep breaths to calm myself before taking out my phone and sending an email.

‘I’m really sorry father but I’m not feeling well so I need to reschedule today’s meeting. Sorry.’

— — — —

45 minutes later.

I clean when I’m stressed. And right now I’m the most stressed I’ve been in my life so I’ve decided to stress clean the whole house. Everything. Apart from the broken mug and spilled tea. Daniel can clean that shit up when he eventually gets back from his sulk.

I’m in the middle of vacuuming the living room when something catches my attention in the corner of my eye. My heart stops for a moment when I turn and see the Priest waving at me through the window.

I turn off the vacuum and open the front door, placing my hand over my chest.

“You startled me!”

“I guess now were even” he laughs awkwardly “I bought you these”

He pulls out a small bouquet of flowers from behind his back.

“Why?” I ask, not meaning to sound as ungrateful as I do, as he hands them to me.

“You said you were ill, I hoped these would cheer you up”

I don't quite know how to react so I end up just staring at him blankly. The truth is I’m speechless. He watches my face and the smile fades from his own.

“You don’t like them. Shit! I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have even come, I’ve overstepped my boundaries.” He rambles

“No! No! I love them I’m just-” I pause as I look down at the flowers in my hand “I think this is the nicest thing anyones ever done for me. No one ever buys me flowers”

“Well they should.”

For some reason I suddenly feel like a shy little school girl. I smile at him and he smiles back.

“Anyway I just wanted to make sure you're okay. Get well soon” he turns and begins walking down the driveway. I think for a moment.

“Father!” I call after him and he spins around to face me “would you like to come in?”

He nods and walks back to me, going past me into the house. I shut the door and gesture for him to go through into the kitchen, forgetting about Daniel’s mess.

“Oops” he says when he sees it “what happened there?”

“Daniel had an accident. He can be really clumsy sometimes” I laugh it off as I busy myself making us some tea.

“Can’t we all” he says, taking a seat at the dining table “will he be joining us?”

“No” I respond, a bit too quickly “he uh, he had to go out. I don't know when he’ll be back”

I carefully carry our cups of tea over to the dining table and take a seat opposite him.

“Never mind. Thank you” he smiles and takes a sip of tea “I actually wanted to talk to you about something without Daniel, if that’s okay?”

“Sure” I shrug, stirring some sugar into my tea.

“I hope you don't take this wrong way but-” he pauses, I can tell he’s nervous to say what he’s going to say next “Are you safe?”

“Of course, why wouldn’t I be?”

“It’s just… I saw what happened in the car park the other day”

“I don't know what you're talking about” I say casually as I remove the spoon from my tea and place it down on the table. The priest reaches over and goes to touch my wrist but I pull it away quickly, instinctively pulling my sleeve down over my hand as his eyes search my own.

“He hurt you, didn’t he?” He asks quietly and I shake my head “I saw the way you held your wrist as you walked away from him Y/N and I could see the bruises just now.”

I can’t bare the way he’s looking at me anymore so I cast my eyes down to the table, but he continues to stare at me.

“Y/N? Talk to me, that’s what I’m here for. If he’s abusive to you-”

“He’s not” I finally speak as I look up at him again “he’s not like that, he’s kind and caring and… he would never intentionally hurt me. I just caught him on a bad day”

“And what about today? With the tea?” He gestures to the shattered mug on the floor “That wasn’t an accident was it? Is that why you cancelled today?”

“No! It’s just the stress of planning a wedding is getting to us both. But we’re fine! Honestly”

I take a breath as I smile at him, but I can see he’s not totally convinced. He looks at me for a moment before speaking.

“Give me your phone” he holds his hand out across the table

“What? Why?”

“I’m giving you my number, no one emails anymore” he jokes “So you can contact me whenever you need a chat, okay? Any time. Well apart from Sunday mornings, cause you know, church.”

“Of course” I smile

“And preferably not late. I’ve been really enjoying going to bed at 9.30 recently” he winks and we both laugh “I’m kidding. Well not about going to bed at 9.30, I do actually do that. But you can call or text me anytime and I will always get back to you. I promise”

He gives me a really sincere smile and I feel a weird flutter in my stomach as I smile back.

— — — —

Almost two hours later the priest is only just getting ready to leave after we got carried away talking. We talked about all sorts. Our childhoods, our hobbies, our fears. He told me about his fear of foxes, and how they’ve apparently stalked him throughout his life. He even told me about his first ever wedding and the drama that surrounded the family. We’ve been talking for so long we didn’t realise its starting to get dark. He opens the front door and steps out just as Daniel comes walking toward the house, I see the anger in his face as he spots the priest.

“What the fuck is he doing here!” He yells as he stomps towards us

“Daniel!” I warn but he ignores me, squaring up to the priest. I try to get between them and smell the stench of booze on him “are you drunk?!”

“So what if I am? Huh? You got a problem with that?” his breath on my face makes me want to gag “cause you know, I got a problem with this asshole being in my house”

“We just had some wedding stuff to discuss but it’s all sorted now so I’m going” the priest tries to diffuse the situation “I’ll see you both soon”

“Like fuck you will” Daniel spits before going into the house.

I mouth “I’m sorry” to the priest and he just shakes his head and smiles at me before leaving.

Back in the house I ignore Daniel’s drunken ranting, going straight to the kitchen to clear away the left over cups of tea. Aggravated that I’m not paying him attention, Daniel follows me into the kitchen. He picks the flowers up from the counter.

“Did he give you these?” He asks but I ignore him, angering him more. He rips the flowers to shreds, dumping them on the floor.

I step over them and I place our mugs next to sink, grab a cloth and some cleaner before going back to wipe down the table. Suddenly a mug flies past me, just missing my face as it smashes against the wall. I slowly turn to look at Daniel and stare him out before I dropping the cloth on the table and walking out. I grab my handbag and throw my jacket around my shoulders as I walk out of the house, slamming the door behind me. Daniel doesn’t dare to follow me, he knows he pushed me too far.

I’ve been walking for about half an hour before I realise, I have no idea where I’m going. I’m just wondering aimlessly, letting my feet carry me wherever they want to go. Eventually I find myself standing outside the church. I place my hand on the wooden doors and pause, contemplating whether to go inside or carry on walking till I find a bar to drink at. To my surprise the doors gently swing open, but theres no one stood behind them. I take this as a sign that I should go in.

As I enter the silent church and walk down the aisle I can’t help but imagine myself here in a few weeks wearing my white dress. I reach the front and turn back to stare out at the empty pews, picturing my friends and family smiling back at me as I stand with the man I’ll spend the rest of my life with.

A thought that used to fill me with excitement, currently filling me with dread.

I grunt with frustration as I flop down to the floor, sitting on the step with my head in my hands. Frustration turns to anger, which turns to sadness and soon I can’t stop the tears rolling down my face. I sit there silently crying until…

“You can’t be in here!”

I look up and wipe my eyes as a very grumpy looking middle aged lady stomps towards me.

“Sorry”

“No ones allowed in at night”

“The door was open, I just presumed-”

“Well it shouldn’t have been and you need to leave” she ushers me back to the doors.

“Okay, I’m going. Sorry!”

“Y/N?” A familiar voice calls and I look back to see the priest emerging from his office “what are you doing here?”

“She’s just leaving Father, I’m sorry for the disturbance” the woman answers

“It’s alright Pam, she can stay”

The woman I now know is Pam looks from the priest to me, then back to the priest again before backing off slightly.

“Okay…” she says slowly, like she suspects something “I’ll just be upstairs if you need me. Goodnight Father”

“Good night Pam” he replies.

She gives me one last look before disappearing out a door. I look at the priest, who just rolls his eyes and laughs as he gestures for me to follow him.

I walk into his office and take a seat.

“So, that was Pam” he says, closing the office door and taking a seat opposite me.

“I gathered” I nod my head “She’s a bit…”

“Insane”

“I was gonna say intense, but yeah” I laugh, feeling self conscious as I notice he’s studying my face. My cheeks are probably still blotchy and eyes blood shot from crying. There’s a small silence before he finally speaks.

“Are you okay?”

I look at him, not sure how to answer.

“Did he hurt you?” He changes the question

“No” I shake my head “but he did break another mug. I’m gonna have to get insurance out on the ones we’ve got left at this rate” I joke but he continues to study my face, before finally jumping up out his chair.

“Do you want a drink? A proper drink. I’ve got some cans of G&T hidden away in here”

He opens a cupboard and grabs a Marks and Spencers plastic bag, pulling out two cans.

“Are you sure you're a priest?” I laugh as he hands me a can “I mean you drink, you swear.. what other rules do you break?”

“I could tell you, but I’d have to kill you”

“Murder too?” I say a bit too loud, flinching as I hear a banging above me

“Oh shit, Pam! She doesn’t like me being loud. Or having fun in general. Let’s go outside”

“What about the foxes?” I tease and he shakes his head at me as he opens the door and gestures me to walk out.

— — — —

We sit on a bench just outside the church overlooking the graveyard and talk for about half an hour before I realise something.

“You know what’s strange?” I say, suddenly changing the subject “This is only really our third time meeting. I haven’t known you for very long at all but when we talk I feel like I’ve known you for years!”

“That is strange” he humours me, taking a sip of his drink

“Our conversations remind me of how Daniel and I used to be. Back when we could talk to each other properly. These days I’m lucky if we don't end up in an argument”

“And you wanna marry this guy?”

“Of course I do” I reply, slightly taken aback by the forwardness of his question “We’ve known each other pretty much our whole lives. We’ve been together so long- I wouldn’t know what to do without him”

“That’s not a reason to stay with someone, especially if they don't make you happy anymore. Being in love with someone and being dependant on them are different things.” He pauses, studying me “Do you love Daniel?”

I stare at him, replaying the question in my mind over and over again.

“Y/N?”

I realise I don’t know the answer and a feeling of panic begins to bubble inside me. I jump up from the seat.

“I have to go”

I quickly begin walking down the path to the front of the church, followed by the Priest who calls after me. I don't stop walking.

“It’s really late, Dan’s probably wondering I am so…”

“Y/N, wait please!”

I stop and turn back to look at him.

“I’m sorry if that was too much, but these are things you need to think seriously about.”

“I know! I will.” I nod and flash him a quick smile “thanks for the drink”

I hold my can up in a ‘cheers’ before turning and continuing my walk back home.

— — — —

As I walk up the driveway of my house I can see Daniel through the window fast asleep on the sofa in front of the tv. I finish the last bit of my drink and hide the can in my handbag as I unlock the front door and sneak into the house. I hang my coat and bag up and slip my shoes off before quietly climbing the stairs and getting into bed.

Laying in bed my mind can’t help but wonder to the Priest. I feel bad for the way the conversation ended. I shouldn’t have freaked out and walked off like that. He just looking out for me.

I grab my phone and send a text.

‘Thanks for not letting Pam kick me out tonight, I really appreciate it. Good night’

I put my phone back on the beside table, not expecting a reply anytime soon because its so late. To my surprise it vibrates almost immediately. I pick it up and read:

‘No problem, here for you anytime! Sleep well x’

A small smile spreads on my face as my eyes fixate on the small ‘x’ at the end of his text. It probably means nothing but I cant help but feel a flutter in my stomach.

The feeling a quickly taken over by dread as I hear footsteps up the stairs. I put my phone back on the table and roll over in bed, making out like I’m asleep. The mattress sinks as Daniel climbs into bed next to me and I feel his breath on the side of my face. At least he doesn’t smell of beer anymore.

“I’m sorry” he whispers as his arm snakes over my waist and he plants a kiss on my cheek “I’m really really sorry”

I turn my head slightly to look up at him, but I don't say anything.

“I shouldn’t have reacted like that. You know what I’m like when I drink”

“That’s no excuse Daniel”

“I know, I know! I’m sorry. I’m going to change, try harder for you. Okay?”

I nod my head, knowing full well its bullshit. He’s said this before, said he’ll be different but the next day he’s always back to his same old self.

“No more shouting. No more lashing out. No more hurting you. I promise.” He plants kisses on my skin with each sentence. “I’m going to be the perfect husband for you and im going to make it up to you. Starting now.”

He kisses down my jaw, to my neck and down my shoulder as he gently pulls me so I’m lying on my back. Then he kisses down my chest and slips under the duvet, kissing all the way down my body till he reaches that place only he has ever been.

I close my eyes, enjoying the pleasure that’s rippling through me as my breathing gets more ragged before I realise…

In my imagination its not my soon to be husband with his head between my legs…

It’s the dark haired, brown eyed man who’s supposed to be marrying us.

Oh my God, I fancy a priest.

part three

(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_domestic_violence_hotlines)

#fleabag #fleabag fic #fleabag imagine #hot priest #hot priest imagine #hot priest x reader #andrew scott #Andrew Scott priest #andrew scott x reader #phoebe waller bridge #nicolasfam

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olivia-anderson-fanfic · 3 years

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Canary, Part 16

First

So… fighting people while injured, even if it’s not a particularly long or difficult fight, is apparently a bad thing. Marinette didn’t feel it until the adrenaline wore off, but the moment it did it hit her like a freight train. She’d had to lean against a nearby building, her hand cradling her ribs, trying her hardest to keep her breathing under control.

When that didn’t help as much as she would have liked, she called Danielle.

“Hey, so, hypothetically… what do you think would happen if I ignored the bedrest thing --.”

“The fuck?”

“Sorry?”

“You don’t sound sorry.”

“Hahahaha anyways so what I did was... so, like, I may or may not have, maybe, sort of, um…” She swallowed thickly. Her mouth tasted of copper, which was never a good thing. “Scaled a two-story building, crawled through some vents, flipped a guy that’s over a foot taller than me over my shoulder, lifted said guy back to his feet, and then jumped off the roof? You know… as you do?”

“You do not get to say ‘as you do’ what the fuck that is not a normal thing --.”

“How long do you think it’ll be?”

Danielle sighed and she could hear her count to ten under her breath. When she finished, she said: “... can you afford an extra few weeks? Because that’ll at least set you back half a month. I’d say an extra month and a half but...”

“I hope I can,” Marinette said, biting her lip. Had Emma told Joker how long the doctor had prescribed she took time off? Because if she already did that then there was no way Joker was going to allow the extra few weeks.

Not that Marinette thought she would be able to go that long without doing anything at all, she supposed, but she would love an excuse not to see his pasty face.

“I’ll have to prescribe painkillers if you don’t --.”

“No.”

Danielle scoffed a little but didn’t press it. A lot of Gothamites had seen what painkillers could do to people. And, from what Marinette could find about the woman, Danielle was a perfect example -- she’d struggled with the workload of going to med school and having a job at the same time, she’d gotten hooked, and it had promptly ruined her life. Of all people, she wasn't going to question why someone wouldn’t touch the stuff.

“At least try and stay out of trouble this time, okay?”

Marinette huffed a little (and then winced when her ribs protested it). “I do! The job really hadn’t been that bad today. Trouble just has a way of finding me.”

The doctor only laughed.

It was late at night, but it was cold in her apartment (the heater was broken, which was a surprise to absolutely no one considering how cheap the apartment complex was) and she couldn’t fall asleep. So, Marinette had been making macaroons for Tikki when she’d heard a knock...

On her window. She knew the distinct sound of gloved knuckles hitting glass by heart thanks to the occasional vigilante dropping by her safehouses for help with wounds they didn’t want the Big Bad Bat to see.

But they didn’t know that she was Canary, bats wouldn’t be coming by for her first aid capabilities.

Unfortunately, she could think of one other person that wore similar gloves that had already gotten into her apartment through the window. And he probably wanted his miraculous back, so there was a motive for his sudden appearance.

She didn’t want him in her apartment again. This was her house. It was supposed to be safe.

(Not that her houses have been feeling all that safe ever since Cobblepot had figured out who she was.)

She could hardly breathe -- a feeling she was getting far too used to for her liking. She brought a shaky hand up to the hollow of her throat, pressing on the tiny indent in her collarbone. It was a pressure point, she thought she remembered, it was supposed to help calm her down.

It wasn’t working.

She pulled a knife from her knife block and slowly crept around the wall that cordoned off her bathroom.

Her eyes scanned the apartment for anything that was off. Nope, it seemed that he’d stayed outside… she looked out the window...

Oh. It was Red Robin.

This was… marginally better. Maybe.

Marinette put the knife back and walked over. She bent down to unlatch the window lock and let Red Robin in.

He clambered through the window once she had moved out of the way. He closed it behind himself and, though she knew that was just so it would be harder for eavesdroppers to hear their conversations, it made her skin crawl.

He noticed, apparently, because he didn’t even lock it and he kept a wide berth as he walked around to stand in the middle of the living room part of the apartment, by the couch.

“You should have checked to make sure that it was really me,” Red Robin said and she fought back a wince. That was his work voice.

“Well, no one else would wear an outfit that awful.”

Her voice came out flat. She was still anxious and it was throwing her off. She picked at the fingers of her gloves, pretending to be very interested in a nonexistent loose thread as she tried her hardest to push down the emotions that shouldn’t be there in the first place.

He was there to interrogate her, sure, but that was fine. She’d faced far worse interrogations before, had interrogated people in far worse ways before. This was nothing new, she could handle this.

Knowing she would be fine, though, wasn’t enough to relax her.

She took a deep breath to get herself under control then cringed. Broken ribs shouldn’t be so hard to remember. She brought her hand up to rest over the injury.

“Are you alright?”

His tone had softened a little, but that only made her bristle. She didn’t want his pity. Not when she could see a burn she had caused poking above the neckline of his suit.

“I’ll be fine in a month.”

(Okay, actually it was closer to a month and a half to two months since she had irritated the injury, but who cares about those kinds of technicalities?)

“What about you? Are you…?” She couldn’t finish the thought. She didn’t want to know if it wasn’t going to get better. She knew they were on opposite sides, but that didn’t mean she liked the idea of them getting hurt. They were…

Well, they weren’t friends.

They were like rival football -- sorry, soccer -- teams. On opposite sides, but they held little actual malice for each other.

He seemed to sense the genuine unease she felt at the idea of him being hurt because of her, because he gave the ghost of a smile.

“I’ve had worse.”

She picked at her gloves again. She wanted to take them off to pick at her nails but even the idea of taking them off in front of someone was enough to make her feel a little sick.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t want to but I needed to make sure you wouldn’t come and arrest me or my friends immediately and I thought that would distract you but it was kind of a dick move and --.”

He cut her off with a chuckle.

Heat rose to her cheeks.

She cleared her throat awkwardly. “Right, the point that I was trying to get to was that I didn’t actually want to hurt you… it was just...”

She didn’t have the words to excuse what she had done. She could only shrug lamely.

Some of the amusement faded. “It’s fine. Like I said, I’ve had worse. It’s an occupational hazard. For both of us, apparently.”

“I -- yeah -- I’m sorry about that, too. I honestly didn’t think we’d all become friends and I felt kind of bad about not telling you but -- but I just couldn’t.”

“I get it.”

She raised her eyebrows just slightly.

He sighed lightly and leaned back against the couch. “I do. You couldn’t tell me. I’m the textbook definition of a narc. You were just looking out for yourself.”

She managed a stiff nod.

But now she didn’t really know where to go. Why was he there? Why hadn’t he told the other bats yet? Was it that they were also narcs and he was protecting her? Why? Sure, he said it was fine that he had blown her up, but she doubted that it was really fine. People were like that, saying things that they didn’t mean because they didn’t want it to be awkward.

The questions swirled around in her head, each one clamoring to be the first one to be voiced. But she still couldn’t seem to come up with any one question to ask.

“I don’t get it,” Red Robin said when it became clear she wasn’t going to be saying anything for a while without prompting.

And, wow, that sentence was exactly what she had needed to pull her out of her thoughts. Because what?

“You just said…?”

“I don’t get why you’re a henchman,” he clarified. “It doesn’t make sense.”

Her frown deepened. It wasn’t all that hard to understand, she didn’t think.

“... because I need money to live, and I don’t really have many other options when it comes to getting it,” Marinette said, her tone making it obvious just how stupid she thought he was. Which wasn’t fair to him, Red Robin was a born and bred rich kid (she knew this fact in her bones, though he would never admit anything like that for fear of her finding out his secret identity), but it was simply obvious.

He shook his head. “It just doesn’t line up. You look up to heroes so you clearly have morals, why would you give that up for money?”

She scoffed at that. Because the real Marinette Dupain-Cheng had done more than looked up to heroes -- she had been one. But even that hadn’t been enough to keep her from becoming Canary when push came to shove.

“Morals are a privilege, Red.”

The lenses of his domino widened.

She crossed her arms over her chest. “I drew a line in the sand and, when it became clear that line wasn’t going to be enough for me to survive, I stepped over it and drew a new one. You say you’ll never break a law, and then you say you’ll never hurt anyone, then you say you won’t hurt someone that doesn’t deserve it, and then you say you won’t hurt kids… and then one day you wake up and you realize that there isn’t that many more lines left to cross and the first line you’d made is so far behind you that you can’t even dream of getting back to it.”

Marinette swallowed thickly. She was too close to this, this was way too close to real for her. She hated the old feelings that this case was dredging back up. She hadn’t felt this awful -- this helpless -- in such a long time and she didn’t want to feel this way.

Red Robin didn’t seem to notice, at least, far too stunned by what he was hearing to notice the tears brimming in her eyes.

“But -- but you haven’t even been here that long!”

And he was right. The process had gone fast for the fake Marinette, she’d gotten a job not that long after she had officially arrived in Gotham… but she had an explanation for that:

“I don’t have any other options. You can look up my name and find article after article talking about how I stalked a hero. There goes all the legal options, no one wants someone like that representing their company. And, since Canary exists and has no problem going undercover, most of the Rogues don’t hire Asian women if they don’t have a Rogue vouching for them, saying that they’re a real person and not just someone trying to give information to their competitors. So, I’m stuck with Joker.”

He reached a hand out like he wanted to hug her. She didn’t make any moves to stop him, but he still thought better of the action and let his hand fall limp at his side.

The silence in the room was deafening.

And then, he broke it: “Let me help you.”

That simple sentence had nearly broken her.

Because those were the exact words she had been longing to hear.

They were just many years too late.

Why now? She wanted to scream.

“Why me?” She asked instead.

“Because I care about you,” Red Robin said softly.

The tears in her eyes were getting harder and harder to hold back and she needed to channel that into something more productive.

Anger. Anger was productive. Usually.

“Your job means you’re supposed to care about everyone. Why me?”

He didn’t answer that. Instead, he said: “You clearly want out.”

“Everyone does. Why me?”

He looked a little frustrated. Marinette knew the feeling.

“If everyone wants out then why are you so mad about it?”

Why would she be mad about it?

Marinette found an answer with ease: “I don’t know, Red, probably because I almost had to fight a kid to the death in order to get a job with Joker -- and the best option I could give was to send him to Scarecrow instead. Or because there’s two sixteen year olds working with me… and Benny is smart, he was in honors classes, he skipped grades, he got a full ride scholarship, so it’s not a lack of potential. They’re all good people -- and, above that, they’re kids. If anyone deserves out, it’s them. So, for the last time: why me?”

He couldn’t seem to find an answer. His mouth hung slightly open, as if he was shocked at the outburst.

“Say it. Say the quiet part out loud,” Marinette dared him.

She didn’t actually want to hear it, though. She didn’t want him to say that ‘I care about you more than them’. Marinette liked to think that she’d ended up the way she had because she was inadequate in some way, that if she had tried a little harder or that if she had been just a little more skilled maybe she might have gotten out in a legal way. It was what kept her sane. It was a personal problem, not a systemic one. Personal problems could be fixed, systemic problems never would be. But this entire job challenged that very ideal. Because this ‘Marinette Dupain-Cheng’ she had created was close to the one that had existed ten years ago, but this Marinette was getting so many more opportunities... she was friends with a Wayne and the bats. It had only been three and a half months and she had already found two different ways that she could have gotten out, but if she could do it now then that meant she had always had the capability. It meant that the thing that could have saved her -- no, that the thing that had doomed her was nothing more than bad luck and a lack of good connections.

Maybe Red Robin knew that she didn’t actually want to hear it, or maybe he just couldn’t bring himself to say it… but, whatever the reason, he turned around and made his way towards the window.

“I know I’m a bad person, Red. We both can see that. And that’s fine. But you don’t seem to know that you’re not a good person, either.”

He glanced back at her, lips drawn in a thin line, but didn’t say anything. He simply slipped out the window and disappeared into the night.

She let herself sink to the floor and bury her face in her knees.

She’d gotten what she’d wanted.

So, why did it feel so awful?

~~~

SpoilerAlert: canary totally has a knife kink

TheBetterCanary: what the fuck

SpoilerAlert: why else would you use knives almost exclusively

TheBetterCanary: because theyre quiet

TheBetterCanary: and stabby

SpoilerAlert: you’re so right i’m so sorry

~~~~~

Taglist: @nathleigh @peachmuses @jayjayspixiepop @unoriginalmess @miraculousfanfic127 @probably-a-hologram @iloontjeboontje @mystery-5-5 @flyhighdreamer @starlit-dreaming @aespades @lowhangingtreebranches @twsssmlmaa @queenz-z

#canary #maribat #timinette #timari #timmari #shutterbug #tim drake #marinette dupain cheng #ladybug #red robin

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naancypants · 3 years

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maybe this is perfect

Alright here is my finalized repost of the fic I accidentally published yesterday, LOL. If you enjoy, I'd love some support on Ao3 (work link is below)! I wrote this after 2x12 (+ updated to reflect news about 2x13 & 2x15, hehe) as a sort of speculative, "personal ideal" confession scene for the finale episode.

Ao3 | 2,051 words

--------------------------

"Hey," Nancy says from behind, twisting both hands around the strap of her messenger bag. "Can we talk?"

At the sound of her voice, Ace straightens from in front of his locker. He lets out a close-mouthed sigh as the question sinks into his stomach, and when he turns towards her, the discomfort she's feeling becomes evident in her body language.

"Yeah."

A beat passes where neither makes a move.

Nancy, however, is the first to take a step, drawing in a shuddering breath. "You've been avoiding me... for a while now. Ever since the whole life-and-death thing with Daniel West. And I'm sorry that I was willing to let people die to save you. I thought you would understand, that you would've done the same thing-"

"It's not about the list," Ace cuts in with a shake of his head, "That was a long time ago."

In reality it had only been a few weeks since Nancy and Grant traded a hit list to a professional killer to spare Ace's life, but time seems to move inordinately slow in Horseshoe Bay.

"I know. But that was also the same time I called in for a favor with Celia Hudson..." she allows her sentence to drift off there, urging Ace to connect the unspoken dots.

He hadn't tried to hide his feelings on the whole Celia situation, especially whenever he and Nancy talked one-on-one; yet still, her ability to pinpoint the root of behaviors she already notices in him never fails to surprise.

"I just... wish you would have consulted me before you made a deal with the devil."

Nancy recalls a talk during which she was alone with Ace, where he'd briefly confessed his dismay at her recent dealings with the Hudson matriarch.

A string of monotone words all run together as she attempts to explain, "We already went over this, Ace. I-I-I had to figure out how to save you, there was no time to consider my options."

"Maybe it wasn't worth it."

Within a second, revulsion twists every feature on Nancy's face.

"I'm sorry, what?" she demands.

Ace doesn't elaborate. Instead he lifts his raincoat from its hook and shuts the door to his locker, staring down at the garment in his hands with a shamed expression. It isn't long before Nancy has his elbow in a firm grip.

"Hey," she convinces him to whirl around and face her. "You're worth it to me."

You're always worth it to me. You're worth everything to me. A thousand times over, she wants to say. But she doesn't.

"I guess that's my problem."

"Your problem is that I care about you?"

"I don't want to be the reason you sell your soul to the Hudsons."

Nancy blinks, her ferocity weakening as she pulls away. "Aren't I allowed to make my own choices?"

"Of course. But... that doesn't mean I have to like them."

The way he says it is so casual, so lacking in venom that it makes her stomach wrench. He doesn't realize that the only approval Nancy craves is his; she is willing to stand up against even the closest of people in her life - Nick, George, her own father - but not Ace. His opinion of her serves as a compass whenever Nancy is too tired or worn down to trust her own judgment. His opinion is the one that matters most.

"Then what do you want from me? Tell me what I can do to make it better."

It's the most fragile, the most desperate she thinks she's heard herself. Nancy Drew is independent and decisive and strong. So whose voice is it that wobbles in fear, laying down her pride in the hands of another?

If there's anything Nancy can't stand, it's being clouded over with emotion, but the tightness in her throat only warns of an oncoming flood.

"Honestly, Nancy, I don't know right now. Maybe just... help me understand why before you make these kinds of decisions. I don't want you to get hurt."

Their eyes linger for what feels like an eternity, distanced by walls that neither of them know how to tear down.

When Ace moves, he turns decisively away.

Panic beginning to swell in her chest, Nancy pushes past all the other emotions running through her mind - fear, guilt, uncertainty - and takes one last step into the room before he has the chance to get away.

"I did it because I love you."

If anything could stop him cold in his tracks, it's that particular confession. His eyes meet the floor in front of him, speechless and calculating, each second ticking by in tense silence. He turns to face her once more.

There in the center of the room she stands, the bold and courageous girl detective herself, looking smaller than ever. Her voice is barely above a whisper now, eyes in danger of spilling over, "Ace... I think I might be in love with you."

Ace stands motionless in awe, save for a swallow and quick shift of his weight.

When Nancy gets nervous she often rambles to relieve some of her tension. "I didn't know how to say it before, and I- have never actually been in love so maybe I didn't even know what I was feeling until recently, but, you were with Amanda Bobbsey and not in love with me and it's all... very confusing..."

Breath leaves her lungs as quickly as words leave her tongue, anxiety shaking her down to the core. She blinks when the self-awareness sets in; lowers her gaze to the floor for a length of awkward silence.

"Nancy."

Eventually she looks back up to find him just a few feet away now, having crossed the room sometime after she finished prattling on about nothing. His raincoat hits the bench.

"There are.. a lot of reasons why I can't do this right now." He indicates himself with a curved hand to his chest.

Though her heart sinks, Nancy's eyelids still flutter. "But you- you would? Hypothetically?"

His mouth flattens into something that's not quite a smile, eyes as earnest as ever. "It's just that... y'know, Amanda's only been gone for a week. And I don't want to lose what we have - what all of us have."

"You won't," Nancy states with a furrowed brow, "Why do you think you would lose us?"

He bobs his head a bit. "Things could get complicated between us. Especially considering... things."

"What do you mean? What kind of things?"

"Well, I'm not trying to point fingers, but... there is your track record. With relationships."

It doesn't escape her attention that he refuses to make eye contact when he says the last part. She tenses up and repeats, "My track record?"

Ace opens his mouth to soften the words, but the look on his face is enough to suffice as an apology. Nancy retreats on her own as three particular guys - Ned Nickerson, Owen Marvin and Gil Bobbsey - flash through her mind's eye. Guys she had used as a distraction, a rebound, and a means of sexual gratification, all of which Ace witnessed firsthand from the sidelines.

"Yeah I deserve that, don't I," she says quietly.

"No, you don't. That part's fine. It's about everything else."

"Everything else being the Hudsons, Amanda, and losing what we have."

He offers only a nod. Draws in a breath. "Nancy, I want to love you too. And I'm not saying that I don't, but..." his voice breaks, just a bit, but enough for Nancy to notice.

"...It's not the right time," she finishes for him with a resigned nod; "yeah," under her breath.

This time it's Nancy who won't meet Ace's eyes. She darts them all across the room in avoidance, lips pursing together. "I'm- I'm sorry. This is.. not really who I am and I probably shouldn't have said anything to begin with, but-"

"No - no, don't apologize," Ace says with the usual gentle firmness and a slight tilt of his head. "I'm glad you said something. Really glad. In fact, um, if you're not opposed... there is something I wouldn't mind trying before you go off to Columbia."

"Ha. Who says I'm getting into Columbia?" she asks sardonically, crossing her arms.

Ace gives a subtle grin of support. "You'll get into Columbia."

She stops to consider his words, but then emits a soft chuckle, smiling gratefully at her best friend as though there were no mistakes, no confession of feelings, no heartbreak to contend with.

Time drags on as his vague statement from before remains unaccounted for, though almost as if pulled by gravity, there's a mutual instinct that draws them closer together.

Along with instinct, however, is hesitation - a slowness in the way they line themselves up, a caution in the way they read each others' eyes. Gradually his hands find their way to her jawline and before she knows it, in stark contrast to their prior pace, her back is up against metal with the most satisfying warmth she's ever known on her lips.

Nancy's entire body lights on fire, so much that it takes a dazed moment before she is able to react. Her eyebrows lift as she takes full advantage of the moment, kissing him back with the fervor of months worth of pent-up feelings all finally coming to surface; hands crawl upwards from his arms, to his shoulders, and eventually land on either side of his neck.

For a few rapturous seconds, they allow themselves to melt entirely into each other with the realization that things won't be like this again for a while; not until they're able to overcome the doubts, the obstacles, the emotional walls that they both know would cause more harm than good if they were to pursue this now.

Maybe this is perfect. Maybe one kiss - one blissful, ravenous taste of just what it is they're missing out on is enough to satiate their appetites for the time being and prepare them for what's to come.

With one last surge forward, hands sliding down his chest, Nancy realizes that kissing Ace never felt this good in her dreams.

Then, sooner rather than later, it's over.

Though their lips disconnect, everything else remains. A breathless minute comes and goes before either have any words to speak.

"Are you- are you sure you don't want to change your mind?" Nancy finally asks through her teeth, eyes drifting down to his mouth more than once.

A smirk tugs at his face as he steps back, hands remaining on Nancy's forearms for perhaps a touch longer than necessary. "Few more of those and I might."

Nancy gives a wistful giggle, using her shoulders to launch herself away from the lockers right when her phone buzzes.

Ace watches with curiosity as she opens her latest text notification, but waits silently to be filled in.

"It's George. She says they're waiting for us at their place," Nancy murmurs with her brow lowered, looking at Ace for a potential answer to her confusion.

Rarely one to disappoint, Ace nods in recognition. "Oh yeah, they took it upon themselves to reschedule game night. I was supposed to tell you."

Nancy raises her eyebrows in good spirit. "Ah. Well, I'm sure glad you told me in plenty of time."

"Come to think of it, Bess pretty much insisted I be the one to tell you. The whole thing must've been a ruse."

Nancy shrugs. "Eh, you know what they say. What's done is done." she waits a beat before thumbing towards the back door over her shoulder. "Join me?"

"Yeah," Ace agrees as he grabs his raincoat and the pair start walking out. "Yeah but I have to warn you, none of what just transpired is going to have any affect on how badly I demolish you in Absurd Code Word."

"Wow, Ace, I think you're underestimating my game night abilities. Have you ever seen me in Absurd Code Word?"

"Don't need to."

"I see. Is it because I'm a girl?"

"C'mon, Nancy. You know me better than that."

The ease with which they're able to shift gears serves as a delicate reminder of how intrinsically they are connected; of the level of comfort and stability within their potential when the time is right.

Whenever that may be.

#nace #nancy x ace #ace x nancy #nancy drew cw #cw nancy drew #nancy drew #cwnd #cwnd spoilers #my writing

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dauntingdarling · 4 years

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Reviewing Cursed (Netflix)

So I finally jumped on the bandwagon for this show and I’ve got some thoughts: (spoilers)

Bad Stuff:

For all the hype I’ve read about the show, I was expecting the main lead to be at least more than she was. Nimue was a disappointment and honestly is one of the weaker parts of the show.

The 2nd weakest part being Nimue x Arthur relationship

And I’m not going to even start on the effects in this show, JESUS

While I don’t necessarily blame the hollowness of Nimue’s character on the actress Katherine, (I will say the reason it took me a while to get into this show was because Katherine has 13 reasons why stamped all over her still in my head) I do think she handled some of Nimue’s scenes a bit... awkwardly.

Case in point: Her first interaction with Arthur

^But honestly, this wasn’t that horrible when you look to the effects the show used to make this show “graphic”

All the bloody gore they showed was done so badly that I scoffed more than grimaced.

^Also can we just point out that when Nimue strung up that red paladin in vines, they made it seem like it was horrible and prime gore material when in reality it looked like a cheap set piece... what a let down

Now lets chat this up a moment:

We all know how the King Arthur tale goes. He marries Gwenevere who then G cheats with Lancelot (more of him in a moment) etc. I feel for Nimue from the get go when I noticed how quick they were to use her to glow up Arthur... like seriously?

What girl would start a relationship with Mr. Goody (to the point where he is boring) when her life is literally turning to shatters in all directions? All male writers red flag

And while we are on the topic, Arthur-sir, you are the most annoying and basic good guy I’ve watched in some time. Not only does he seem to be too good to the point that its unrealistic, they seriously played off him stealing Nimue’s sword as an okay thing to do... Sir no.

Devon portrays all the characteristics of King Arthur perfectly, but I feel like if Arthur is to progress into becoming a king, we should be seeing him making mistakes and learning so as to become the great ruler he will one day be. (writers take notes please)

We need some dirt in that perfect persona he carries

Also known as Weeping Monk

Good Stuff:

Let me just start by putting this magnificent thirst trap right here:

I’ve got to hand it to Daniel Sharman, he has a very loyal fanbase that seems able to carry THIS ENTIRE SHOW on their shoulders.

Like honestly, I looked through plenty of content on various apps and the Weeping Monk is blowing through social media like wild fire.

And for good reason too:

-he’s an attractive dude playing the gothic misguided character (serious cliche but highly effective)

-he’s one of the few characters with an interesting character arch (so far)

-he’s Lancelot (hello ladies man)

-he’s great with kids *swoon*

-and don’t get me started on that entrance in ep1 (the writers knew what they were doing)

I’m going to write another post at some point to address why I don’t think he is a toxic, manipulative character that just so happens to be romanticized because of looks (as is seen so far). So watch for that if that interests you. Post in Question

But to tie this off, Daniel Sharman is a fantastic actor and I hope we get more of him next season.

And, no, it’s not just because he is visually pleasing to the eye (but god bless guy liner)

I feel like the writers have suspended his meeting with Nimue to the point were we are all shipping the pair of them together, when it’s possible that they may have a different bond, closer to that of Lancelot and the Lady of the Lake in classic lore

But if they hook up I will still be very pleased ngl

Other things I really loved in this show:

-Pym (her time in the viking ship as a healer was prime humor) but I’m pissed she doesn’t end up with the hot viking because unlike our main couple of the show, these two had chemistry for the short scenes they shared together.

-Merlin (The moment I saw Gustaf Skarsgård in the trailer, I started the first ep. I loved him as Floki in Vikings and wanted to see him in other things) I was pissed that the writers made him seem... boring.

-I was happy with how Merlin opened up to us as a father to Nimue. Nimue just needs to get her shit together and learn from him because we all know she’s powerful, she just needs to work on it.

Watch the writers get lazy and just magically having her cast all sorts of powerful magic just because once upon a time she manipulated an apple tree

-SQUIRELL (I loved him from his first scene)

-the Widow! She was the perfect middle ground for a character and her voice was strangely motherly (and I LOVED IT!) While I know Morgana becoming the widow was a great power play and all that, I miss the original widow.

-Morgana’s general storyline was great considering what happens in the lore. I expected her to go evil the moment her sweet love (that poor nun!) came from the dead with burn marks and talked about being powerful. I’m glad they didn’t push that on her so quickly. They should let that storyline fester a bit more. She’s too great a character to turn to the dark yet (unless they pull a complete 180 of the Weeping Monk)

-Awesome baddies- And by that I mean Iris and the head monk that came to a very satisfactory end in ep 10. Also, props to the show for making the Pope a quick to anger tyrant and his second in command being a literal weasel. 10/10 villain act right there. With these villains in play, it’s easy for Weeping Monk fans to see the light in him, thus driving his character arch.

-The Christian themes. This may be surprising to some, especially if you are like me, a christian (I’m catholic). But honestly, I loved how they took snippets of Christian history and flipped it to create a complicated power in this show. By this I mean, the red monks act a lot like the holy orders in Catholicism back during the Crusades and the nuns act as healers and helpers to those that ask for sanctuary (the Abbess kept her mouth shut about Nimue, even when she was at risk) - thats what the core of Christianity is supposed to be, and I’m glad they made religion complicated through the monks and nuns.

-Red Spear/ vikings- cool concept to add vikings to the story and the red spear is a bad ass. I hope we dive further into her storyline next season (I expect so given the rumors I’m hearing about how she is supposedly Gwenevere)- If that’s true, I’m worried the writers are going to ruin the relationship G is supposed to have with Lancelot, solely because both characters are more Alpha energy than Beta, and we all know how that goes...

Maybe that’s why Red Spear’s interaction with Arthur was so great. He screams beta and I’m all for it.

#weeping monk #merlin #review #tv show #king arthur #lancelot #nimue #daniel sharman #katherine langford #cursed netflix

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wheredidthe80sgo · 3 years

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So... Shadow and Bone

Ok, this will contain spoilers for the show, so if you don’t want to know, don’t read ahead.

-Ok, first things first, holy shit. Holy shit I can’t deal. I laughed and smiled my entire way through because everyone was just so perfect.

-The casting stood out to me immediately. I mean we all knew that they were amazing when we first saw them, but seeing them on screen was just something else.

-Adding Alina’s backstory was a bit huh? Like they made her half-Shu, and that was pretty cool I guess but it was just kind of there. Also, I don’t remember that in the books, so if it was mentioned there then that’s cool but I just don’t remember it at all so.

-The Crows. The motherfucking Crows. I honestly think combining the two shows was the greatest decision they made because the Crows just lit up the screen everytime they appeared. Don’t get me wrong here, I love Shadow and Bone, but by itself I just think it would have been kind of weak.

-Kaz’s introduction. Jesper’s introduction. Inej’s introduction. They were all brilliant. I adore them.

-Kaz’s cane. That’s it. I want one.

-The backstories on all of the characters felt kind of flat to me tbh, mostly because there weren’t really any. They briefly explained Inej’s connection to the Menagerie (which was an interesting choice to still have her there imo) but apart from that there wasn’t much. Kaz’s backstory wasn’t mentioned at all and I think I only realised his not liking to be touched thing because I was a fan. Jesper’s backstory was just non-existent. Of course Alina, Mal and the Darkling’s were there as well but apart from that I didn’t really feel like I knew anyone all that well.

-Kaz and Inej were just- yeah. It was literally so understated. Like in the books I didn’t realise they were meant to be a thing until like halfway through, when they were on the boat, but in the show I just didn’t realise at all. There were flashes of it all throughout but because Kaz is an idiot of course he didn’t say anything. I thought it was nice but I did miss a lot of those iconic lines. (I wished they had developed their relationship enough to get to the ‘I will have you with armour, Kaz Brekker’ line because that’s my favourite.)

-Jesper. Jesper. Jesper. Kit was SO GOOD. Jesper was honestly my favourite part of the show. He was perfect in every scene he had and I was so so happy to see how well Kit did. Also, when they said that you would definitely know Jesper was bi and I held out hope that maybe it would be mentioned briefly but then he hooked up with a guy? Man, I almost cried.

-I do miss Wylan though. So, so much.

-Nina and Matthias were... well, they were perfect, obviously. The dynamic between Danielle and Calahan was just amazing, but I was kind of confused. If you’d read the books you would understand Nina’s importance and why we cared so much about her but the show just didn’t develop that as well, which was a shame. It felt a little out of place amidst all the other action, but I guess it worked out in the end with Nina on the ship to Ketterdam with the Crows and Matthias on to Hellgate.

-The scenes with them walking were just perfect. I only just reread the books the other day and the dialogue was exactly the same. Nina, my wife, I would die for you.

-Kaz’s hair.

-Milo.

-Maybe it’s just all of the edits, but I couldn’t stop making fun of the Darkling. Every time he came on screen I would make some sort of comment. My favourite was during the Darkling/Kaz face-off (the Darkling/Kaz face-off!!!!!) and I couldn’t stop thinking about how the Darkling got bested by a seventeen year old with PTSD.

-They made me like Mal. They fucking made me like Mal. Archie was so good.

-The thing I liked about Mal and Alina more so than in the books was that the set-up to their relationship was so much better. You could so clearly see that Mal already had feelings for Alina and he just didn’t realise and I thought that it was really really sweet the way they carried it out. Thank you Jessie and Archie.

-Genya, Zoya, Marie and Nadia were just perfect. When Marie died I cried a little. Also Zoya being there at the very end of the show with the rest of them made me laugh, idk why it just did.

-Seeing the SAB and SOC characters on screen together was just so odd. Not in a bad way, just in a really weird way like worlds colliding.

-Inej’s relationship with her religion and especially Alina was so perfect. I cried when she saw Alina use her power for the first time. The look on her face, I- someone protect this girl.

-I also cried when the stag died. That was just awful. I loved that stag.

-I do admit that Darklina is just... so hot. Like woah. Just woah.

-Genya and David. Yes.

-So I know exactly where they’re going with Alina and Mal’s storyline, with the destroying the Fold and everything, but I have no idea how the Crows are going to be incorporated into that. Like, if we get a season two, what are they going to do? Smuggle her into Ravka? Again?

-I had to do an in conclusion for myself last night but it didn’t work so I’ll do one now: the Crows are headed back to Ketterdam with Nina and Matthias on board and Nina and the Crows have just met and are going to ally up I think. Alina and Mal are also headed to Ketterdam instead of Novyi Zem (?). Zoya is still in Ravka, the Darkling is alive and emerged dramatically from the Fold in basically the same vicinity as Zoya, Genya and David and the rest of them are back in East Ravka and Nikolai and Wylan are nowhere to be found.

-(Will I ever get over two of my favourite characters in the entire Grishaverse not being in the first season of the show? No, no I will not.)

TL:DR the show was amazing. I loved how true it was to most aspects of the books. I thought the cast was just perfect and I loved everyone. I really really hope they get a season two.

#i don't know what to do with myself now #shadow and bone #sab

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ashintheairlikesnow · 4 years

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Ash/Athena AU: Unwrapping

In the Honor Bound / Daniel Michaelson’s AU with @whump-tr0pes , Danny sees Isaac for the first time since Corrine took him... and realizes what his mother did

CW: Threats of torture/noncon, nonconsensual touching (not sexual), referenced past torture and noncon. Dehumanization and pet whump.

“If you hurt him, I swear to God, Mom-”

“He’s fine.” Corrine waved one hand dismissively as she met a furious Danny in the driveway. She was already dressed for the party in a short black cocktail dress and a triple-strand of pearls resting lightly against her dark skin, black heels that she walked in with perfect grace. She looked every inch the pure power of the Michaelson group she was. “Oh, you look lovely, Daniel. You and your plaything will complement each other so well.”

Danny shifted, uncomfortable in his Syndicate suit. This one was new, and tailored to adapt to the weight he'd never regained after he came back, but part of him always felt the collar when he had to wear his suits now. Abraham and Ashley had made him wear the one he was abducted in to the parties, so that he’d look more like what he was, until someone paid extra to cut it off him while he was tied to the floor in front of all the guests cheering and screaming and he was bleeding and-

Stop. Focus on Isaac. You have to see Isaac, have to make sure he’s okay. He has to be okay.

“Mom hasn’t done anything more than get your new friend ready for the party,” Patrick said, standing beside Corrine in his own tux, salt-and-pepper hair cut close to his scalp. He leaned in to kiss Danny’s cheeks, one by one, and Danny met the kisses absently, his eyes still on his mother. “I promise.”

Patrick’s voice was low and melodic, with the same charming singsong quality that Ryan had. He and Ryan were the spitting image of each other, from the strong jaw to the sparkling amber eyes to the black curls - although Patrick’s had plenty of gray in this particular iteration of his appearance, and more than a few distinguished wrinkles besides.

“He’s got to be terrified,” Danny said, his stomach twisted in awful knots. He hadn’t been able to eat since he’d thrown up all over the floor, feeling the collar around his neck all over again after watching his mother order Isaac dragged away.

Nate had fed him broth; it was the only thing he could keep down.

His nerves were strung so tightly, singing with constant panic that he damped down through sheer willpower. “You could have let him stay with Nate and I last night, he-... he was probably so scared you’d, you’d kill him or something, Mom-”

“Why ever would he think I would do that?” Corrine raised an eyebrow, and when Danny just stared at her, she laughed - a soft, warm sound. “Oh, because I put a gun to his head. Honestly, Daniel. He’s fine. Mrs. Verona fed him a lovely charcuterie with cheese and fruit for dinner, plus plenty of wine. He was reluctant at first, but…” Corrine shrugged carelessly. “He came around, eventually.”

"... Did you get Isaac drunk, Mom?" Danny asked, blinking rapidly, trying to keep himself from getting angry and upset, fighting back the bite in his words.

Abraham got him drunk all the time. He was so fucking miserable and in so much pain, it was easy to just open his mouth and let it burn down his throat, lap bourbon from bowls they put on the floor while they laughed and said you like that, puppy? and then said he had to earn it-

Stop. This isn't about you. This is about Isaac. Nate has a plan. You can do this, Nate has a plan. Just pretend you want this, like you said. Just pretend you want him as a plaything.

Act like Abraham used to. You can do this. You can be like them to get him out. You can do this.

"Oh, hardly. He needed to loosen up, anyway." Corrine held her hand out to Nate as he walked up, wearing his own deep green suit, and he kissed the Michaelson family crest on the heavy ring she wore. "Any news, Nate?"

Nate nodded, straightening up and smoothing his suit jacket with his good hand. "Yes, ma'am. I m-m-may need to skip out early if m-my lead pans out. We have some r-reports - nothing c-c-conc-... Conc-... nothing that's a sure th-thing, but…"

"Of course. Go as you need to. I want them back." Corrine smiled, licking at her thumb and reaching up to wipe at Danny's cheek.

"I'm twenty-seven, Mom, quit it," Danny said, batting her hand away, stepping back uncomfortably.

"You're twenty-eight, as of today, sweet boy. Happy birthday, Daniel." She smiled warmly, affectionately, and Danny managed a small smile in response despite the nerves still tap-dancing all over his skin. "Would you like to see your new boy? Ryan has been overseeing his final prep for tonight."

The sun was starting to set, lighting everything the peculiarly beautiful golden tinge that made the house seem faintly laced with magic. Danny used to feel comfortable here, at home.

He wondered if Isaac had thought the house was beautiful… or just hellish. Maybe they'd be alone long enough for him to tell Isaac about Nate's plan, to ask…

"Yes, Mom. I want to see him. I've…" Danny hesitated, trying to think of how Abraham would say it if he were here. He forced his voice to sound stronger, more certain, even as he felt ghostly cold fingers card through his hair, and had to hide his shiver. "I had him for five days. I didn't like having to go without. The whole point of having one to keep is that you don't, right?"

Corrine smiled at him - it was such a loving, proud smile, and it hurt Danny to see it. He had fought his whole life for their approval and pride, and had only received it after he had been held in captivity for four years. He had only seen this kind of pride now, now that his mother assumed he was done hiding from what he was and had begun to embrace it.

The thought of what she expected him to be - the very thing that he had been beaten for being, the reason people paid Abraham and Ashley money for time alone with him, for chances to hurt him - made him sick.

But it was what he was, what he’d been born - or adopted - into. Power, and control over their territory. People who did what he said, when he said it. The assumption that he would dehumanize and break down anyone he wanted if he wanted to keep them.

They wanted him to be Syndicate - but Danny’s mind had been broken and shredded alongside his body for the crime of his Syndicate name. He didn’t want to be what they accused him of being.

He didn’t want to be what he was.

He would have given anything, in the moment he looked into his mother’s loving eyes, to have been in the car with Isaac’s team driving far away from here.

He could live with getting Isaac into the car with Isaac’s team. He had to play his part, and keep it up for a while… Nate had a plan but he had to buy Nate some time.

“Then I won’t keep him waiting on you,” Corrine said gently, reaching up to pat the side of his face. Danny stilled under the unwanted touch, but Corrine had never understood or accepted that he did not like to be touched, since he came back.

Not by anyone but Nate, or… or Isaac.

Danny swallowed.

That didn’t matter. That was ruined, too, now - like the rest of his life had been ruined and wrecked. There was no version of what he was that could not be used to break some new hope he’d had to fight so hard to feel.

Nate fell in beside him as they walked towards the house, his right hand sliding warm against Danny’s back through his suit. “It’s going to b-be okay,” Nate whispered into his ear, pressing a soft, reassuring kiss to his hair. Danny closed his eyes and nodded, fighting the heat that built there, the hint of tears.

He fought the urge to whine, to collapse, to whimper it won’t be okay, nothing will ever be okay again. He was a grown man, and he wouldn’t be weak, not today. Not when Nate needed him to play his part.

Not when Isaac needed to get out of here.

Corrine had Isaac waiting for him in a side room off from the main living area, where the party would be. There were already servants everywhere Danny looked setting up the hors d'oeuvres table, laying out the first platters of food just so, setting up the wine fountain in the corner along with the other loose bottles the guests could choose from. Danny felt trapped in a kind of terrible deja vu - this was his childhood, parties like this.

It had once felt natural.

Now, he kept searching for hooks in the floor that he would be tied down to.

Mrs. Verona popped her head out of the kitchen to wave hello to him and he bent himself nearly in half to reach her tiny height for the kiss to each cheek. His smile was more natural, for her, and the tiny ageless woman’s face was a starburst of cheerful wrinkles as she pinched his cheek, just lightly. “Your young man,” She said softly, “Could use a bit of reassurance, I think.”

“Couldn’t we all,” Danny whispered back, and she winked at him.

“Reassurance and fresh air. But he’ll have plenty of air later on, won’t he?”

Danny straightened, turning to look at Nate, who gave him a perfectly innocent, beatific smile in return. Mrs. Verona is part of the plan? Nate only shrugged and kept him moving through the room, Corrine ahead of them and none the wiser. Patrick veered off to speak with some of the guards, giving them their positions along the walls.

“So many guards,” Danny whispered.

“They’re w-w-worried Isaac will r-r-run, or his t-team will try to come b-back for him,” Nate murmured, keeping a hand on his back. Danny forced a false smile, pretending he was just enjoying the gentle affection, that they were just murmuring the sorts of things to each other they might normally say, on a night like this.

“Will they? Do they… do they know the plan?”

“Some. I t-t-told them where to w-wait, and when I’ll g-get him back to th-them. We have to hope they t-t-trust me. If they c-come on their own…” Nate frowned, picking up a little shrimp puff off the food table as they passed, ignoring the glare from one of the servants in return as he popped it into his mouth. “They’ll be slaughtered, and w-we can’t stop that.”

“They can’t be killed, or hurt,” Danny said, insistently. “We have to get them out. They trusted us, they were so nice to us, Isaac-” His voice broke, his whisper cracking apart, and he swallowed back the guilt that might eat him alive. “Isaac trusted me.”

“I know. I’m s-s-sorry it happened this w-way. But maybe w-we can make it up to him,” Nate said gently, reaching up to push back a bit of wavy red hair. It made Danny think of Isaac, tucking a little bit of hair behind his ear before the first time they kissed-

His knees buckled, just a little, and Nate effortlessly caught him around the waist.

Corrine glanced back over her shoulder, and saw only Nate nuzzling into Danny’s neck, whispering into his ear - a soft, shy smile on Danny’s face. She smiled to see them together, with a warm maternal affection.

Her eyes flashed a brilliant purple before she turned back to walk into the other room. “He’s in here with Ryan, darling,” Corrine called, and Danny took a deep breath, lifted his chin, and walked into the formal dining room to see Isaac.

Danny came to a stop in the doorway, staring at his first view of Isaac since yesterday, as his heart… snapped. It was the only word for the sensation he felt, pulled tense until he broke at the sight of a man who had trusted him with himself and his scars and who had been betrayed in return.

Isaac looked gorgeous.

And terrified.

He was standing with a guard on either side of him, his hair neatly combed and shining clean, hands folded in front of himself, eyes on the floor, his chin bent nearly to his collarbone. He wore a perfectly tailored suit that was so close to Danny’s, and Danny had sort of wondered what Isaac might look like all dressed up (or more accurately, how it would feel to see him dressed up and peel that clothing off him piece by piece), and now he knew.

Ryan was standing against the wall, arms folded, with a face like a stormcloud. “Say hello,” Ryan said, his voice oddly harsh and grating, and Danny’s head jerked to the side only to see Ryan’s eyes glowing a light yellow in the dim dining room light. Ryan wasn’t enjoying this - he was angry about it. “Danny, fair warning, you’re not going to like-”

There was a sharp intake of breath from Nate standing next to him, and Danny turned to look at Isaac again. He’d looked up, to meet Danny’s eyes with him, and his mouth - God, that mouth - was stretched in a tremulous, frightened smile.

There was a thick band of black around his neck, and when Danny’s mind allowed him to understand what he saw, he felt the collar wrap around his own neck, too, the constriction that dug into his skin and rubbed it raw and bloody over and over until the scars made the skin too rough to break so easily again.

Then he saw the reddened fresh brand - the M with its intertwining vines - on the side of Isaac’s neck.

“Oh,” Danny said softly. Fury came instantly, a fire he couldn’t even vocalize around, burning him too deeply to speak the words. He barely managed a whisper. “Mom… y-you, you put… you said you, you wouldn’t-”

“I know, darling, and I’m sorry,” Corrine said, with a tone that suggested she absolutely wasn’t. “And it won’t be for long. But we had to ensure he would be on his best behavior for your birthday party, and I knew you wouldn’t want to lead him. Isaac has promised to be very good for us tonight, hasn’t he?”

She shot a look at Isaac, and Danny watched him look at her with open fear before looking back to Danny and quickly nodding. “Y-Yes, I, I can… I won’t, won’t try anything.” Isaac’s voice shook so hard his words were barely speech at all, and Danny wanted nothing more than to walk across the room and rip the fucking collar off his neck.

He settled for being able to do one of those things.

He stepped forward, feeling like he was floating on numb legs, and moved up to Isaac - who cringed away and then caught himself when Corrine’s eyes cut at him again. Danny reached up to put a hand to either side of his face, and looked into Isaac’s frightened eyes. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered, just for him.

“Y-you didn’t have to do this to me,” Isaac all but whimpered, and Danny’s heart ached, a nearly physical pain he could feel slowly radiating out, right to the palms and the fingertips that touched a man he would never, ever have wanted to hurt. “You didn’t have to-”

“Stop mewling,” Corrine snapped, and Isaac’s mouth shut all at once with a click.

“Wh-why did you brand him?” Danny asked, and bit back the wail to turn his words into something closer to anger than the grief he felt welling up inside. With a brand, Isaac wouldn’t be safe. Everywhere he went, even if they got him out of here, everyone would know he was a Michaelson plaything.

Everywhere he went, they’d think he could be tortured for Michaelson intel or sold back to them for a reward. Even with Nate's plan, it was a matter of time before Isaac was sold back to them, back into Danny's bed at best or Corrine's tortures at worst. He couldn't hide it, or forget it.

Corrine had trapped him in the lie Danny had told to save his life.

He glanced sidelong at Nate, who was looking at it, too, with that empty stillness he was so skilled at. He met Danny's gaze and gave him a small smile. "Just as l-l-lovely as y, yesterday,"

The plan is still going. Don't falter. Stay strong. Danny knows how to read the words Nate doesn't say.

Danny shook his head, trying to say with his eyes what he couldn’t say in front of his mother, not and have any hope to keep up the charade, to get Nate the time he needed to get his plan in motion. He couldn’t say it if he wanted any chance of getting Isaac out of here. “You’re beautiful,” He said instead, and his voice stayed even, and strong.

Oh, puppy, you look beautiful tonight. Let’s take a ‘Before’ photo, the guys coming over really don’t like your fucking family. Bet you give me one hell of an ‘After’ later on, huh? Smile for the camera, Red.

“You’re beautiful,” Danny repeated, and Isaac closed his eyes, lowering his chin again, shivering under Danny’s touch.

“Thank you,” Isaac whispered.

He hates me, Danny thought, and felt guilt crash into him like a wave. He’ll hate me now, forever. I just wanted… “Take the collar off,” Danny said in a low voice, without looking away from Isaac’s face. “Take it off. He’s already branded, you don’t need to collar him, too!”

“Not an option,” Corrine said lightly. “He will stay in line better with it on.”

“Mom, I said take it off, he doesn’t need a collar to control him!” Danny let go of Isaac and turned to face down his mother, but even glaring down at her and towering over her much smaller frame, he knew he wouldn’t win this one just from the way her jaw set, ever so slightly, and her eyes lit up.

“I am the matriarch of this family, Daniel Michaelson,” Corrine said firmly, a warning edging her voice. "You are my son and you will show me the respect I am due.”

“Mom.” Danny fought to calm himself. “I… I like the suit, you, you did a good job, but I can’t… I can’t, not with him wearing that! Not with our mark on him!”

“I told you not to do it, Mom,” Ryan growled from the wall. He was glaring at the guards on either side of Isaac, and they shifted uncomfortably under his glowing yellow gaze. “You know he hates this shit. You know it. Branding people is all your generation, we don’t fucking brand people anymore!”

“Don’t act like you’re any better.” Danny glared at his younger brother, usually wide blue eyes narrowed to furious slits. “You wanted to do the same fucking thing to him!”

“No, I didn’t!” Ryan snapped back. “I wanted to make you happy and having him stay is one thing, but I wouldn’t have stuck my fucking ring on his neck! I’m a Michaelson just like you, but I’m not a Michaelson like that and this fucking dog-and-pony-show pisses me off just as much!”

“Don’t say ‘dog’,” Danny whispered, feeling blood drain from his face.

Some of the anger left Ryan, and his eyes went back to their usual honeyed yellow. “I’m sorry,” Ryan said, sincerely, putting both hands up in the air. “I’m sorry, Dan. I didn’t-... I didn’t think.” He swallowed, hard. “You, you know that I wouldn’t…”

“No, I know, I just-... shit, fucking hell, Mom, you can’t do this to him!” Danny spun back to his mother, who watched him evenly, with one eyebrow raised.

“Do you want him like you said to me yesterday, or not?” Corrine asked, her voice very low. “Darling, did you lie to me, yesterday? I would be very disappointed with you and upset if you lied to me.”

“I… I didn’t. I didn’t, Mom, I definitely want him,” Danny said, swallowing hard, trying consciously to calm himself even as his hands began to shake. Be Abraham, be Abraham, be Abraham. “He’s fucking gorgeous, and nobody else should get to enjoy the, um, the-the sounds he makes but me.”

“Oh, fuck,” Isaac said, his face somewhere between ash-pale and greenish around the edges. “Oh, fuck no-”

“What did I tell you about language, Isaac?” Corrine said coldly, and Isaac flinched, jerking his eyes back to the floor.

“S-sorry,” Isaac whispered. “I’ll be good.”

Danny’s eyes widened. “What… what did you tell him about language? Is he… did you-... punish him?!”

“Not really. He has agreed to abide by the rules for tonight’s engagement. If he behaves for you, darling, he won’t have to wear it again. The decision is made and my decisions are final.” Corrine clapped her hands together. “If he is not acceptable exactly as he is, perhaps we will simply declare this whole thing a loss and move him to my basement-”

“No!” Danny and Isaac shouted at the same time - one with rage and one with terror.

“God damn it, Mom!” Ryan joined in. The impassive expressions on the faces of Isaac’s guards never changed, and the soft bustle of servants never ceased. This wasn’t the first Michaelson fight any of them had witnessed, and it would almost certainly not be the last. “Don’t fucking threaten to torture Danny’s new man right in front of him!”

“Right in front of Daniel, or the plaything?” Corrine asked, with a hint of a smile that suggested she thought the question very funny.

Ryan rolled his eyes and pushed himself away from the wall. “I’ve read Danny, Mom. He wants Isaac. That’s the honest truth. Come on, give them a minute before the guests arrive.” There was a pause, and then Ryan said, “Nate, you’re with me for now.”

Nate frowned, eyes narrowing. “M-Michaelson, I’ve said it b-b-before, I don’t w-work for you-”

“For right now, you do. I need to talk to you about this tip you’ve got on the runaways.” Ryan and Nate met eyes for a second, and Danny could feel the tension in the room rising, the way the two men always sparked against each other unpleasantly whenever they interacted directly. “I want to know what information you have on them, Vandrum.”

“Not your b-b-business, Michaelson.”

More silence, and Ryan said in a tone of deadly certainty, “I am making it my business, Nathaniel. So get your ass with me or nothing goes the way you want it to go tonight.”

“Wh-what the fuck does that mean?”

Ryan smirked. “I think you know what it means.” They stared at each other for a few more long, drawn-out, tense moments.

“Go on, Nate,” Corrine waved one hand dismissively, already moving back towards the doorway. “Go with Ryan. Daniel will speak with his plaything privately. Guests will be arriving soon and they really should get a bit of time together.” She smiled over her shoulder at Danny. “I know you’re angry at me for this, darling, but please… it’s your birthday. Be good to the guests. This gorgeous boy is your gift.”

“I could never ask for an… anything better,” Danny replied, mostly honestly, watching Nate's back longingly as he left walking behind Ryan with his annoyance and anger all but radiating off of him. Danny's voice was thin but he covered it, he thought, as well as he could. Fury still boiled under the surface, the temper he’d once had that Abraham and Ashley had broken and beaten and bashed out of him day by day. “Thank you… thank you, Mom. He’s a wonderful birthday present.”

“You’re very welcome, dear.” Corrine smiled. “Oh, and plaything…” Isaac slowly raised his eyes, not quite meeting hers, cringing slightly back against the dining room table. “That’s good. Learning to keep your eyes down when speaking to your betters. I want you to look right at this.” She held up a small rectangular disk with a few buttons and a dial on it, waggling it back and forth in her hands. “You will behave.”

“I will,” Isaac whispered, staring at the thing in Corrine’s hands with pure fear written across his face. “I will. I’ll behave.”

“Good. Bring your new toy out in about… oh, ten minutes or so, Daniel. The first guests should arrive right about then, and I’ll want you and the plaything in the receiving line to greet them. Everyone should get a good long look at my baby boy coming back to himself, finally, after all that’s happened. We’re a strong family, Daniel. I need you to be my strong son tonight.”

“Of course, Mom,” Danny said, nodding quickly, shifting himself minutely so he was blocking Isaac from Corrine��s direct gaze.

“Family first, Daniel,” Corrine said firmly. “Never forget that. We are Michaelsons first.”

“Michaelsons, first,” Danny agreed, readily enough. He met his mother’s cool, appraising eyes, and kept his face calm even as the muzzle scars ached, phantom pains and fire that wrapped around his face and made it hard for him to force his jaw open enough to speak.

There is no life before-

“Perfect. I’m sorry about the collar, darling, but it really is necessary. Just for tonight. You can take it off him before you take him home.” Corrine gave him her warmest, most loving smile, and he managed one, although thin and small, in return.

He held it until she was gone.

With the two guards still standing at Isaac’s elbows, Danny didn’t dare drop the act, or tell Isaac about the plan. That there was one, that he wouldn’t have to live this way, that Danny and Nate were going to get him out of here tonight.

He couldn’t tell him anything.

All he could do was step up, and take Isaac’s hands in his - the other man’s fingers felt freezing cold. Danny’s fingers were rough and numbed from his years with the mercenaries, but he held Isaac’s hands slowly up, rubbing gently at them, trying to warm them. “I’m so sorry,” He whispered, lips grazing Isaac’s knuckles.

Isaac jerked, like he would try and pull away, but stopped himself, staring at Danny with wide, frightened eyes. The thick black ring around his neck made Danny feel dizzily sick, and he tried not to see it, not to look. “Please don’t do this,” Isaac said back, weakly.

“I know, I know. It’s… it’s not all night,” Danny said, pulling Isaac to him. He couldn’t tell him. He couldn’t say a fucking thing to actually make him feel better. Not even a real hint. All he could do was put his arms around the other man, feel Isaac stiff and tense and frightened but apparently threatened too well by Danny’s mother to pull away. “It’s not, um, not for the whole night, Isaac. I promise. It’s… just a little while.”

Just a little while before I can save you.

Just a little while before we get you out of here.

Nate has a plan.

I wish I could tell you.

Isaac’s head dropped slowly onto Danny’s shoulder, half-collapsed against him. He’d dropped his head like this after the third time, Danny thought, swallowing against a rush of guilt and worry. Dropped his head on Danny's shoulder but from behind him, laughing, whispering nonsense in Danny's ear until it tickled and he laughed and tried to wriggle away-

Stop thinking about it, she ruined it, you'll never have anyone like him ever again. No one but Nate, not ever, no one she'll see or know about. Don't even look at anyone else ever again.

He couldn’t come back from what his mother had done, what Isaac had heard him say, just to save him.

“Please let me go,” Isaac said into the skin of Danny’s neck, and there was a sense of dampness - tears against his Syndicate suit. “Please, please just let me go-”

I’m going to.

“I can’t,” Danny murmured into Isaac’s hair, pressing a kiss there. Isaac was shaking, and Danny rubbed at his back with one hand, staring at the wall on the other side of the room, trying to think. There was nothing he could do to warn Isaac that the guards wouldn’t pick up on. There was nothing to do but let Isaac think this was real right up until Nate gave him the signal. “By tomorrow, it’ll be better,” Danny said softly, kissing into his hair again. The guards were staring - Danny could feel their eyes, and he slid his hand up to tip Isaac’s jaw, tilting his head back up, to look right into his eyes and press a soft kiss to trembling lips. “By tomorrow, you won’t have to wear that collar again.”

“I don’t want this, Danny. I don’t… I don’t want this. I don’t want to be this.”

“Ssssshhhh, I know, I know.” Danny kissed at the damp tear tracks on his cheeks, at his forehead. He tilted his head to look at the brand on Isaac’s neck, watched the other man clench his eyes shut under the scrutiny. “I’m sorry she… hurt your neck, and put that on you. I would, would never have wanted-”

“Why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you just… ask?” Isaac asked, pulling back just to look into Danny’s eyes. “How can you do this to me, after… after what happened to you? Why didn’t you just ask me to stay?”

It was Danny’s turn to drop his eyes and look away. If he looked into Isaac’s eyes a single second longer, he wouldn’t be able to keep up the act, he’d just tell him and the guards would hear and it would… all be over. Corrine would drag Isaac into the basement, torture him for information, Danny couldn’t keep him safe from that…

“Didn’t know it was, um, an option,” He muttered, and pulled back. “Come on, Isaac. Let’s go get in the line for guests.” He pulled Isaac with him, the two guards right behind them, and he kept his hand resting lightly against Isaac’s back the way that Nate would have done for him.

Isaac didn’t lean in or pull away - he walked with slow, purposeful footsteps, and kept his eyes miserably on the floor in front of him.

I’m going to save you, Danny tried to think as loudly as he could. Nate and I are going to get you out of here, and we’ll save you, and you’ll be free and safe and far away from me.

Out loud, all he could do was lean in and say, gently, “You won’t have to stay at the party for very long.”

The way Isaac turned red and closed his eyes against tears told Danny that the words weren’t reassuring at all.

#whump #captivity #caretaker forced to be whumper #Daniel Michaelson's au #honor bound au #whump-tr0pes #shock collar #tw: shock collar #pet whump #dehumanization #broken whumpee #rescue plan #nonhuman whumper

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wormwoodmn · 4 years

Text

it’s been approximately five hours since the submit closed, i’m coming out of a bit of a coma, and i’ve FINALLY come to my final decisions regarding acceptances. not only was this time dedicated to choosing between apps in the same skeleton (which, trust me, you guys did not make it easy), but also dedicated to giving those i didn’t accept solid and objective reasons why they were rejected. after all the work you guys put into your apps, i owe you that much. if you weren’t accepted and want to know why, just hit me up and i’ll tell you !

on that same note, i want to thank you guys for applying, and for all the kind anons in my inbox. this has been a labor of love, but the work is just beginning.

speaking of the work, for those of you who were accepted, you have 24 hours from now to enter the discord server (if this link doesn’t work, lmk asap!) and introduce yourself so i can match you with your role, and 48 hours from now to get your intro into the server. if not, your spot will be re-opened.

dani ramirez as THE AMARANTH

dani’s harrowing story had me hooked from the very beginning, literally on the edge of my seat. not only that, but i can already tell dani is going to be an incredibly active character, an unstoppable force, and i’m so excited to see what becomes of her.

cameron lamb as THE BACKUP

we love a man who says “direct action”, truly. i love to see his motivation to expose the unjust continue throughout the application, all the way from the growth in his interest in hacking to his motivations for finding sam.

skip mun as THE BREADBASKET

skip delivers everything i expected of the breadbasket, and so much more. from being self-conscious of his lack of book smarts, to his accidental slide into becoming a drama kid, skip is fun, kind, and far more complex than i truly gave this skeleton credit for.

leigh hallewell as THE CHRYSALIS

again, animal handling was one of those skills i expected a muse to just be born with, but the fact that leigh actively nurtured this skill to combat her lack of human connection ? owie. i also love how a part of her tragic backstory bleeds into her need to find sam, to give him a voice, even if she’s not exactly noble herself.

emmet ericson as THE CLEAN SLATE

every time i read emmet’s application, it haunts me more and more, especially the line “she’s got to prove to someone, anyone, herself, that people are worth looking for.” i can’t wait for her to break my damn heart over and over and over again.

saaleha davis as THE EBULLIENT

just the fact that she was too much of a team player to excel in gymnastics is just... a fucking god tier interpretation of the ebullient skeleton. saaleha won my heart over easily, as she does with so many others, i’m sure, and i can’t wait to make her suffer see her thrive !!

cyrus blackwell as THE GAMBLER

cyrus is a fucking incredible mixture of both brashness and low self-esteem, and by the time he was being shuffled off to wormwood in shame, i was absolutely in love with him. at least to me, he’s too much heart and too much loneliness, and i can’t wait to see how he develops.

nigel giocondo-jones as THE GRIFTER

if you were to peek at my notes for this app, the first thing you’d notice are the words “THIS FUCKS”, underlined three times. nigel’s story had me reeling from the very beginning, and he is every bit as broken and devious as i could wish for him to be.

cain jacobs as THE HELLION

you had me at “loan sharks”. no but seriously, cain’s lifelong struggles and distrust of the justice system ( his shitty father being the chief of police ?? fucking oof ) makes him the perfect hellion. also the fact he was a loan shark’s foot soldier, that’s just... zoinks, is all i can say.

ava moore as THE INSIDER

ava’s app left me out of breath just reading it, but honestly, that’s the kind of energy i want from the insider. she comes across so airy and light, and the visual of her rollerskating away from a tough conversation while popping a lollipop in her mouth is truly the most insider thing i could think of.

natty darnell as THE LOVELACE

not only is natty kind of silly and just a little bit dramatic, she has some hidden depths to her that make her so much more intriguing. that fear of impermanence, the need to romanticize, and her almost cartoonish nature tie together so perfectly. i can’t wait to welcome her to wormwood!

joshua min as THE METALHEAD

josh embodies both the single-minded focus and the overwhelming practicality of the metalhead so fucking well. even just how he ended up going to wormwood is perfect. also, don’t worry; i’ll be adding an auto shop for josh shortly.

juno goulart as THE MISANTHROPE

juno captures the general alienation of the misanthrope skeleton so fucking well. everything from her penchant for numbers, to her distaste for rules and authority of all sorts. i also love how you went full kierkegaard and managed to weave questioning religion in with all the themes that make her up.

daniel molina as THE RHYTHM

empathy is one of those special skills i expected an applicant to say their muse was more or less born with, but the fact that daniel had to actually learn it after falling from such great heights is pretty incredible. i’m gonna love watching him grow.

adrianna deveaux as THE SABOTEUR

this one was, by far, the toughest decision i had to make, but in the end, adrianna just fit the skeleton so fucking perfectly. she pursued finance out of spite, she went to wormwood because she didn’t want to be just another number in the ivies, and the fact she heard about sam going missing and thought “finally, something fun” ??? she’s the worst, and i love her.

raf bensaïd as THE WISEACRE

this was one of the tougher choices i had to make, but raf’s own hubris leading to his downfall ? and his downfall being wormwood ? pure chef’s kiss. also his ambiguous but incredibly intense connection to sam... brittney spears vc yeah.

#accepted.#there is a 50/50 chance that i will crash after i post this #so if some of the notes are nonsensical.... its bc those are the last things i did fkjdsakjkjakjs #and my brain is a tad fried #bUT THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR APPLYING MY HEART IS FULL

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pleasemrdarby · 4 years

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I love your hc😭💕 Daniel and Terry if you can taking care of their Pregnant S/O and seeing their baby for the first time

Aww, Anon, you’re making me blush! I’m just happy that I get to write some more D’Arby Dad headcanons. I’m honestly hooked on the idea of the D’Arby brothers being dads.

Daniel:

When you tell him the news, he’s going to be deliriously happy; he wouldn’t be able to contain himself. The idea that he’s going to parent a child, especially with you, would send him through a loop; Daniel wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. He would have the cheekiest grin on his face, and every once in awhile, you’d find him giggling to himself over the thought of it. For the rest of the day, he’d frequently snake his arms around your waist from behind and press kisses along your neck.

Daniel will definitely make bets with you on when you’re due and the sex of the baby.

This man is dedicated to your comfort. Even if you’re clearly capable, Daniel’s going to insist that he does almost anything and everything for you. If you ever need something from him, he’ll obediently answer to every beck and call from you. Daniel would even go out of his way to do small things like fluffing pillows for you, making breakfast, and always making sure to compliment you, especially when you don’t feel comfortable with your body - he would constantly be reassuring you of how beautiful and perfect you were as well as telling you how he’d love you no matter what.

When he can’t be home with you on some days, he’ll leave you lovingly written notes and call you throughout the day just to check up on you. Daniel would more than make up for not being there for you when he gets back: cupping your face in his hands and lovingly kissing you on the forehead before traveling down to cover your entire face, sweetly apologizing even though it isn’t his fault, and confessing how much he’s missed you.

He would be delighted to give you a massage, and you already know that he’s going to be amazing at it. It’s obvious that Daniel’s extremely skillful with his hands, and he would love to help you relax. While he’s busy caressing you with his hands, he’d regularly lean closer to your ear and softly ask if you were contented with him.

Daniel’s going to be exhausted by the end of the day, but he couldn’t care any less; as long as you didn’t have to lift a single finger, he’d be pleased. Sometimes, before sleep overtook him, he’d peer over to you, seeing you all cozy and snug; Daniel would drape an arm around you before pulling himself closer to you nuzzling his head into the crook of your neck.

He’d be all over you when you start to get a baby bump. Daniel couldn’t hold himself back from running his hands along it and delicately tracing shapes with his finger while he litters your stomach with kisses. He’d giddily murmur to his baby while it’s still in the womb.

In public, he’d puff out his chest and peacock you around; he’s so proud of you and your little addition to the family. He would mention you and his baby-on-the-way to anyone he can all while he’s beaming and boasting about it.

Daniel would have to hold himself back from snatching the baby from you as soon as he saw them; he’d have to settle for leaning over your shoulder and watching from there.

As soon as you ask him if he wants to hold his newborn, Daniel wouldn’t be able to mask how overjoyed he would be. He’s going to swiftly scoop them up from you and hold them up to his face. Almost immediately, his voice is going to change and he’ll start baby talking; he’d walk around the hospital room and babble to them while you get your well-deserved rest.

Terence:

This poor boy would think that you were joking when you told him that you were pregnant; he’d pretend to play along, albeit teasingly. You’d have to insist that you were being serious; Terence would check if you were telling the truth with Atum just to humor you, and oh boy when he realizes that you weren’t messing around.

He’d freeze up and stare blankly at you when realization sets in. Terence doesn’t know how to react: he knows that he should be overjoyed, but he can’t help feeling anxious about it. If you ask him if he’s okay, he’ll nervously force a smile and hesitantly nod his head - Terence doesn’t know the first thing about how to dad.

Even an idiot could tell that he’s obviously not okay; you’d have to reassure him a lot. Comparing raising a kid to any sort of video game is a bona fide way to easily relieve all of Terence’s worries. After that, like magic, he’ll be thrilled about having a baby - besides, isn’t an expert at games is an expert at life?

He’d be so eager: constantly prodding you with ideas for baby names, thinking of designs for the nursery and proudly sharing them with you, baby proofing the house, he would probably make clothes for his baby(it can’t be all that different from making doll clothes, right?). All of this would be during the first trimester.

Terence doesn’t know much about pregnancy, so he’s going to freak out when you have morning sickness. He wouldn’t know that it was perfectly normal and start panicking. He’d be all understating and helpful when it’s just nausea, but then you start throwing up he isn’t going to know what to do.

If you double over, he’s going to freak out and collapse onto the floor next to you. He’d be lovingly rubbing your back and consoling you; assuring that he’d be only a few minutes, he’ll skittishly get up and fetch something to clean you up with. When Terence gets back, he’d stiffly stand over you with a roll of paper towels under his arm and a damp washcloth in his free hand before kneeling next to you and fervently tidying you up.

Terence would definitely want to take cheesy maternity pictures with you. He’d insist that it’d be ironic, and, in every picture he’s in, he’d have the widest grin on his face - it would be almost impossible to get him to stop laughing just to have his picture taken.

He would memorize all of the directions to the hospital; Terence is going to be more than prepared for when you go into labor. He’d already have a hospital bag packed and ready weeks ahead of when you’re due.

He’s going to climb right onto the hospital bed and lay right next to you with his eyes focused solely on his newborn, cradled in your arms.

Every little thing they do would make him all mushy, even if it was something as basic as yawning or looking around; Every time, Terence is going to poke you on the shoulder and cheerfully ask if you saw it, too - which you clearly would have.

When he gets to hold them in his arms, he’s going to jokedly speak to them like he would to another adult, but when he doesn’t think you’re noticing, he’ll act silly in front of them. He’d probably have a few loose strands of hair falling in front of his face, and he’ll absolutely use them to tickle his baby.

#anon #headcanon #ask #daniel j. d'arby #terence t. d'arby #DILF Daniel

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ibelieveinahappilyeverafter · 4 years

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Boku no Hero Academia - i think i might’ve finally figured out what these powers are for

This was my last patreon drabble of 2019, but it was probably my favorite! This was for a request from one of my Patrons that asked for a Present Mic story where he was descended from Danny Phantom and, well, I had some fun with it I suppose. Enjoy and remember to check out my Patreon for more great work like this!

Summary: Shouta has seen a lot in his time as a pro hero, but he could honestly say that he had never seen his best friend phase through falling rocks as if he could become intangible. One thing is for sure, however, and that’s the fact that Yamada Hizashi has some explaining to do.

Fandom: Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia, minor Danny Phantom

Characters: Aizawa Shouta | Eraserhead, Yamada Hizashi | Present Mic

Rating: Teen Audiences

Word Count: 2,235

Check out my writing commission information here! Pledge to my Patreon to get exclusive content like this drabble!

⁂

Aizawa Shouta had seen many strange things within his life. As a licensed pro hero who had been working in the field for a decade, and one who had been teaching for a number of years, it was impossible not to see some strange sights, but the act he had just witnessed was not one that he could even begin to process, let alone believe. No matter how many times he blinked, though, his closest friend stood in front of him with the same guilty expression and nervous smile.

“You know, Shou-chan-” Shou-chan. Childhood nickname. Hizashi was terrified of his wrath. Good. “-I think this is the longest I’ve ever seen you speechless. I mean, quiet, sure, but speechless is way different! Don’t- Don’t you think?” Hizashi’s nervous smile was soon accompanied by a shuffling of his feet, his entire body twitching from nerves from atop the pile of rubble that he should have been buried under if his body hadn’t simply phased through it. “It’s really not that-”

“Hizashi.” Shouta’s voice hadn’t felt that loud, but Hizashi’s mouth snapped shut as if he had just been screamed at. Shouta had a feeling it had to do with the fact that he almost never called Hizashi by his first name when they were in the middle of hero work and still in the field, which they had been before half a building had collapsed on Hizashi and he hadn’t even been bruised. “What the fuck-”

“It’s not what you think I promise!” Hizashi’s movements were spastic and wide, the man waving his hands about as if trying to wave off Shouta’s overwhelming confusion. “It’s a quirk thing- Okay, maybe not so much a quirk thing as a family thing, but I promise it’s not like I kept it from you on purpose, I mean, I only really discovered about this when I went to visit America not long after we graduated, remember? When I went to go visit family and was gone for about a year? I brought you back all that candy- Well, candy and that t-shirt. Hey, did you ever-”

Shouta sighed as Hizashi lost himself to his anxious ramblings, no doubt convinced that if he stopped talking Shouta would already be yelling at him. He wasn’t completely wrong, but Shouta wasn’t sure if he had the strength to yell when he was still recovering from the fact his friend had almost died under a collapsing building and instead was… fine.

Shaking off some of the dust and debris that covered his suit and waiting for it to settle before slipping his goggles off, Shouta tapped the earpiece still hooked around his ear, “Eraserhead and Present Mic checking in. No major injuries to report and all villains in this area confirmed already captured or neutralized. We’re leaving.”

“Whoa, whoa, hang on, were you even cleared by a medic? Where are you guys you disappeared as soon as the building came down- Hey! You can’t leave until we talk to the police-!”

“I’ll take care of it later,” Shouta muttered, slipping the earpiece out and tossing it towards one of the piles of rubble before stumbling his way over another and sliding into Hizashi’s space, slapping a hand over his mouth and cutting him off mid-ramble. The man had to have ramped himself up into a decent attack if he hadn’t even noticed that Shouta had reported in for them.

Waiting until the muffled words stopped, Shouta gave a single nod and removed his hand, waiting for a moment longer to make sure the silence kept. “Okay.” Okay. Hizashi was alive. That… that was honestly the only important part. Everything else could wait. “Okay. Your apartment is closer. We’re going to clean up, get something to eat, and then you can explain calmly and logically.” Pausing for a moment, Shouta tilted his head as he lightly tapped Hizashi’s chest with the back of his hand. “And I’m not angry. Confused and annoyed you’ve never told me you could do that, but not angry.”

Just as Shouta had hoped all of the tension seemed to drain out of Hizashi’s shoulders, his anxieties and fears no longer hidden as he gave a small smile with a nod to match, voice quiet and calm when he spoke again, “Want me to order our usual?”

“You’re paying,” Shouta grinned, brushing past Hizashi and taking a moment to place their location before heading towards where the front door should be if it were still standing. Hizashi’s steps easily echoed his own and Shouta let himself release some of his own worries. Hizashi was alive and that was all that mattered.

That didn’t mean that Shouta wasn’t ready for an interrogation a few hours later.

The two of them were drowning in old, oversized pajamas after each had taken over the shower for just under an hour a piece, half a dozen takeout containers had been spread out around them, and a show that Hizashi typically liked played in the background on a soft volume. It was the perfect place for an interrogation and Shouta didn’t hold back as he said a short, simple, “Explain.”

Hizashi didn’t rush to explain or ramble, instead chewing on a crab rangoon thoughtfully before swallowing and lowering his chopsticks. “Well… I suppose I should start by explaining my quirk.”

“I already know your quirk,” Shouta frowned, not liking the smile Hizashi gave him. It was as amused as it was apologetic. “It’s not Voice?”

“It… is in a way,” Hizashi settled on, scarfing down another two bites of food quickly. The normalcy of it, Hizashi eating as if it was his last meal and making pained little noises because he didn’t know how to wait until his food was cooled off, was enough to drain away the last of Shouta’s fear at almost losing one of his closest and longest friends. “My quirk is registered as Voice because that’s what we thought it was. I mean, you know the story. Born with my quirk, blew out my parents’ hearing, yada yada yada, right?”

Shouta nodded, eyes flicking by habit up to Hizashi’s hearing aids. The fact he still had them on even when he was home showed he really was serious about explaining what had happened to Shouta.

“Right! So, we just assumed it was a voice quirk, registered it like that, and then carried on. I didn’t know that Voice wasn’t my actual quirk until I was in America and discovered the other half of my family - and my family history. Didn’t you ever wonder about the fact that neither of my parents have voice quirks?”

“I guess I just assumed your quirk was one of the few that mutated into what it is now,” Shouta said, chewing thoughtfully for a moment. “If it’s not Voice then what is your quirk?”

“No idea,” Hizashi laughed, loud and bright and just a touch unsettled. “Best as we can all figure it’s a mutation quirk with multiple facets. I mean… you’re not an idiot. Your quirk blocks the quirk factor, right? And every time you’ve used your quirk on me…”

“You can’t speak,” Shouta finished easily before freezing, the realization fully hitting him. “You can’t speak. If it were just a voice-enhancement quirk-”

“Then I would just speak at a normal volume,” Hizashi finished, grinning again. “My family, the family line I come from in America, is sort of… well, weird. I mean weird in a way that quirks emerged in their family back in 2004-”

“What?” Shouta wasn’t one to shout or raise his voice often, but that was- That was impossible information. Oh, yes, there were always stories and myths and legends and even movies and comics, but quirks as the world knew them hadn’t existed until over half a century into the 21st century.

Hizashi seemed to find his shock funny, laughing before he managed to get control of himself with a half-hearted apology. “Sorry, sorry, but that was my exact reaction when I found out myself. The one who had a quirk first wasn’t born with it, though. His parents were scientists and they were experimenting with radiation and nasty stuff like that. There was a lab accident and that’s how he got his quirk, but it changed his genetics, so when he had kids…”

“It passed down like quirks are now.” Shouta sat back for a moment, leaning against the arm of the couch they were both twisted and crammed on to be able to face each other. “And I imagine they only became stronger as other quirks were introduced to your family?”

“Seems to be the popular theory,” Hizashi nodded, pausing for a moment. “Oh, yeah, I say theory and stuff because we don’t know, but my family over there are still scientists. My cousin, Daniel, he studies quirks. His work is actually crazy renowned over there, I think.”

Giving Hizashi a few minutes to focus on his food, Shouta chewed through a few bites of his own as he thought over what Hizashi had told him. It made sense, he supposed, but it still didn’t explain how he had gone intangible. “But the building today…”

“Oh- Right! So, okay, the kid had a lab accident and everything his genetics went crazy and gave him his quirk. Well, his original quirk was crazy powerful even by today’s standards, and I guess it was somewhere between a mutation and a transformation quirk? He had an ability like what Voice can do, but he could also become invisible, intangible, had cryokinesis, and had the ability to access another form where all of his abilities were amplified. Oh, he could fly, too.”

“Oh, is that all?” Shouta muttered, hiding his smile at Hizashi’s loud laugh behind a quick bite of food, frowning when he noticed his container was empty. Hizashi was reaching him another one before Shouta could ask even as he continued his explanation.

“Yeah, so, I mean, he was like crazy powerful. He kind of became his town hero keeping everyone safe, but the town and everyone kept it all pretty hushed up since this was way before the quirk evolution.”

“Great. Being an overpowered hero runs in your genes,” Shouta commented, relaxing at the sound of Hizashi’s bright, happy laughter. “So, what you did today… that was intangibility. Have you always been able to do that?”

Hizashi was shaking his head at once, which Shouta was relieved by. “No way! Do you think I wouldn’t do that all the time just to find the remote if I could!” Well… that part sounded true enough, Shouta supposed. “No, no, my quirk mostly revolves around Voice, which was the kid’s most powerful attack, I guess, but the intangibility thing is something I can only do when I’m basically in a life and death situation. We think it might be something to do with adrenaline?”

It made sense. Hizashi had been about to be buried and the only thing that had saved him was that ability. If things were even slightly different…

Shouta was knocked out of his thoughts before they could begin, Hizashi kicking him lightly with a frown and a quiet, “Stop that. I’m okay.”

“Right.” Hizashi was okay. That was a thought he could focus on. “And you didn’t find this out until you were in America?”

“Yup! They had their fun putting me through a bunch of tests, too,” Hizashi muttered, tone turning bitter towards the end. It was dramatic enough to have Shouta’s mood lightening back up. “But so far we figure I have Voice, I can do the intangibility thing when I’m in some serious danger, and we think I might be able to do the invisibility thing, but I’ve never noticed if I ever did manage that. Oh! There’s also my eyes.”

“Your eyes? That’s a part of your quirk, too?” Shouta supposed he couldn’t be too surprised. He didn’t know many, even with specific quirks, that had eyes as bright as Hizashi’s. The green was vibrant enough that a lot of times they almost seemed to, well, glow.

“Kind of. It’s more like a recessive trait, I think,” Hizashi waved off, as if all this information wasn’t changing Shouta’s entire world view. “But, yeah. I didn’t really know all of this until I was nineteen, and by the time I came back we were both super getting focused on our hero careers, and, like… I’ve never really focused on how my quirk is different, I guess. I’ve only been able to do that trick twice before today and the last time I did it was, jeez… six or seven years ago?”

Ah, well, Shouta supposed he would have been much the same in Hizashi’s situation. Why bother telling him so much information when, ultimately, it didn’t change anything between them.

“Huh. Guess that makes sense,” Shouta settled on, shifting on the couch to lean up against Hizashi’s side, looking at the television and relaxing at the familiar smells and sounds of Hizashi’s apartment. “You’re paying for takeout next time, too.”

“Aw, what! No fair! I paid this time!” The dramatic whining and laughing had everything slotting back into place as naturally as ever, Shouta tucking away everything that he had learned with a small smile.

Maybe next time Hizashi took a vacation to America he would tag along. The Fenton family sounded interesting.

#bnha #erasermic #aizawa shouta #yamada hizashi #present mic #boku no hero academia #mha #my hero academia #my writing #my patreon #original

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altrcistics · 4 years

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❄️❄️ –––– have you seen [ ESME MACMILLAN ] since the storm? some say they look like [ DANIELLE CAMPBELL ] but they’re [ 21 ] & go by [ THE TACITURN ]. [ SHE ] lived in halloway for [ 11 YEARS ] & they are originally from [ LONDON ]. before the town vanished they were studying [ MEDICINE ] and lived at [ UNI BLVD ]. most people knew the [ CISFEMALE ] as [ ALTRUISTIC ] but i’ve heard they can also be [ RETICENT ]. for some reason, they feel [ UNEASY ] about the town’s disappearance. –––

–––––– well , well if it isn’t me , b , with a broken theme !! but i’m too eager to pay any mind to it right now , and i’ve got homework due at midnight that has to happen after i get this baby posted . hi friends !! very excited to be here . this is my soul baby esme who is just trying her gd best and is stressed out 99% of the time . needs a 12 hour nap and maybe a therapist . summed up in a word ? soft , probably . i hope you love her like i do anYWAY GONNA leave this here and get to plotting so you can also hit me up at b a y#9956 on discord!!

LONDON.

weston and anna macmillan never planned on having a child. they were young and in love, and both had struck the genetic lottery – weston with his brains, anna with her trust fund. while weston was up and coming in the world of corporate law, anna had spent her life in pointe shoes and was at the top of her game as a principle dancer for the royal ballet in london. they were picturesque… perfect, even. until anna found herself to be three weeks late and their dazzling little dream life reached its first hiccup.

that hiccup entered the world screaming a whole nine months later!! tiny blue eyed esme grace macmillan was a fuckin handful even before she was born. as anna went through prenatal checkups, she found that her heartbeat was irregular. further tests concluded that she had hypertrophic cardiomyopathy (hcm) which is a genetic condition that affects the muscles in the heart and causes irregular blood flow. it’s not fatal, but it is hereditary and gets riskier with physical exertion. being a new mother, anna made the decision to shelve ballet and focus on this new chapter of her life.

which was probably a good thing! she loved being a mom, and it was safe to say that having a set of eyes on esme at all times was the right choice. she was restless and constantly full of energy. from a really young age, it became apparent that esme had inherited some of the best parts of her parents. she got her dad’s brains, catching onto things quickly and learning to walk and talk earlier than most. this turned into simple reading and messy writing shortly after. she wasn’t a very social kid though, didn’t talk much.

as soon as esme was old enough, she was put into tiny pink ballet slippers. she took a liking to dance, and this is when they realized she’d also inherited her mother’s natural grace. early on, it looked like she’d easily follow in her mother’s footsteps.

dance really really opened esme up. it was here that she started making friends and began tip toeing outside of her comfort zone and opening up a little bit, but her direction changed when she was six and discovered figure skating.

it was technical and lyrical like ballet, but it was far more challenging. even as a kid, esme loved a good challenge. so her parents bought her a pair of skates, and the rest is history. as she grew up, her weekends were occupied with practices, performances, and eventually competitions. she was a natural. and for the first time there was an air of confidence about her.

though she loved it more than anything in the world, her life soon came to revolve around school and skating. it caused her to miss out on a normal childhood, never really making friends close enough to be invited to sleepovers or birthday parties.

that made the move much easier for esme. when she was 10, her father’s firm went international and he was put in charge of the american branch. thus, the macmillans hopped across the atlantic and moved to halloway for a fresh start, a new adventure.

HALLOWAY.

she took a small break from competitive skating when they moved; it was her parents’ choice in hopes of her actually making friends in new hampshire. and it worked! for a while. esme was still quiet, still a little too book smart and a little less than street smart. even as a kid, she was awkward, but she was kind and clever and for the most part — people liked her.

and life was good for a long time! she got back into skating, and around the time she was thirteen she showed no signs of stopping. in fact, her sights were set on an olympic medal, and though her parents were wary of her inherited condition, they supported her in every possible way.

entering high school, life got a little bit harder. her schoolwork and training kept her pretty tied up, and it was often really hard for her to balance a social life along with that. she didn’t show up to every party. she didn’t really have any interest in going on dates. she kept up with her friends and made time for the important things, but she wasn’t exactly the most open person.

this backfired real quick!! as a freshman, at a bonfire, a senior boy kinda came onto her and when she said nope no thank you, he got pissed. instead of taking rejection Like A Man, he decided to spread a little rumor about them hooking up. this combined with her quiet nature kind of caused her to get a bit of a reputation of being aloof and a bit easy which is so far from the truth. but high school is high school!! and people were fuckin mean about it for a long time thereafter!

around this time was also when her parents sorta…. fell out of love. as in… her father got a little power hungry, a little bored of his life, and like the cliche he is started having an affair. the secrecy of it didn’t last… long and he ultimately left both anna and esme. she felt kind of.. abandoned. like they weren’t good enough almost but.. she and her mom got . even closer because of it tbh. the macmillan girls don’t need no man!!

so she threw herself into her studies and even more so into skating. she trained in the morning and on the weekends, year round. winning competitions made her feel good, and she kept doing so. when she was fifteen, she competed at the world figure skating championship. though she didn’t medal, her scores were impressive and she became an alternate for the us figure skating team at 16. being so close to those five rings was enough to push her further.

she left traditional high school and threw herself even further into figure skating. (this only fueled halloway rumors that she was a bit of a snob akjdfha) after graduating, she enrolled at halloway part time in order to slowly get through her gen eds while training for, yup, you guessed it, the 2018 olympics.

and ya know what? it paid off. at 20, she’d had two world’s silvers and a world’s gold under her belt as she competed in the winter games. her whole life had been leading up to that moment, and she brought home an olympic gold medal in women’s figure skating. that’s right, ya girl fucking peaked.

it was a high, for a while. and she rode it quietly and gracefully. idk she was PROUD ok she worked so hard…. but her incessant need to be perfect and to continuously better herself was nagging in the back of her mind. she wasn’t sure how you could really get better than gold at the olympics.

needless to say, she’s in the midst of a bit of an identity crisis. with her heart condition and ya know aging… she knows figure skating isn’t a forever-thing. so she went back to halloway, taking an interest in medicine and trying to understand her own weakness— a weak heart. she began studying medicine and to fell in love with that profession, but . she honestly can’t stay off of the ice. activate existential dread! she doesn’t actually know who she is!

and then the heckin storm happened smh

NEW HALLOWAY.

with a calm exterior and a notorious knack for being maternal . . . someone , somewhere along the line said hey let’s put esme in charge of the hospital to which she said in a john-mulaney-esque voice . . . huh ? what ? huh ? what ??? huh ???? and then did it anyway

if she’s not on call or working at the hospital , best believe she’s studying because she’ll be the first to tell you she has no business calling herself a doctor

it’s been months!! since!! they disappeared!! and she’s sort of adjusting to this new life which often makes her feel very, very guilty because she doesn’t know what’s happened to her mother at this point

when everything was frozen she still found time to escape and do some skating on the lake aksdjfhas

for the most part, she keeps herself busy ... someone like .... help her tho

PERSONALITY.

esme’s naturally introverted. she likes people, but she’s a textbook people pleaser and gets exhausted quickly when she’s socializing. she’s always been quiet, never the center of attention (unless on ice) and never the loudest voice in the room. when she does speak, though, it’s purposeful and articulate. the sort of ‘she doesn’t talk much but when she does it’s important’ kinda thing idk. she’s not meek ya know.. just reserved

she’s naturally… very kind. cares a lot about other people but struggles to express that which is why she gravitates towards the profession of medicine. she enjoys helping people ya know

ya girl keeps her shit close to her chest. doesn’t really want to bother anyone with her own shit and takes her anger out in physical activity, disassociates from her sadness by reading. a lot of people know her but not on a deep level. tbh does she even know herself? prob not

she’s not a stick in the mud, but she does need a little push every now and then. she lets loose when she’s around people that she’s comfortable with tbh. behind the prim and proper macmillan facade is.. a bit of a goofball. does not hesitate to participate in dramatically karaoke or midnight swims in a lake.

SOFT as fuck but she’s not one to be walked all over. she’s clever as all get out and when snapped at harshly enough won’t hesitate to snap back. she doesn’t get angry to the point of showing it easily, but when she does, she’s very purposeful with her words. don’t underestimate her she hATES being underestimated

competitive as heck. in academics, in sports, in board games. she’s a sweetheart but she will wreck you in spite and malice or sorry bc she just… has a competitive nature

really does give a shit about what people think of her. like… wants to be liked. not being liked by some people in high school really fucked w her bc she just….. can’t help caring about how other people perceive her and wants it to be positively. it’s in part because of how she was raised?? she grew up in a pretty monitored, strict environment between rigorous training and her parents’ world of the rich (will this change after the storm tho??? we’ll SEE)

values honesty like has absolutely 0 time to be lied to and 0 time for bullshit

SO curious, always ready to learn more

will make a fool of herself to see you laugh

a lil bit of amy santiago.. a lil bit of rory gilmore.. a lil bit of caroline forbes..

needs to relax; constantly Anxious

s t u b b o r n

literally never sleeps

doesn’t curse bc there are more clever ways to express anger

reputation: aloof and stuck up. reality: literally just shy lmao

is TRYING VERY HARD

WANTED PLOTS.

i have a few connection ideas here!! and a tag here!! but also…

friends from halloway that she’s just… straight up been pals with since she moved there

i’m… constantly thirsty for … girl gang shit. any of y’all watch the bold type? i eat that shit uP AND IT’S all i NeED TO BE . HAPPY OK

esme’s an only child and i would love to see a sibling-like bond for her

academic rivals pls and thank!! mayb in their major…. mayb back in high school…. paris vs rory anyone?

the maya to her riley oh man

a bad influence or even… the polar opposite . to her Mom Friend-ness

someone else who grew up in the realm of rich parents like galas suck but at least we got each other!!

neighbors!!

new friends! people who she’s met through halloway and quickly taken a liking to. super interesting dynamic bc… while she’s eager to know u she’s not so eager to …. open up lmao

previous roommates

y’all into angsty exes? i know this is the end of the world and all but that don’t mean wE CAN’T get SAD

someone she became friends w via… skating yikes akjdfha i swear that’s not her only personality trait

someone she agreed to tutor!! or study buddies!! ‘i’m going to cry literal tears on my flashcards please study with me!’

someone she was forced to be friend with post-storm. they step on each other’s toes but suck it up for the sake of everyone else

i .. love combining ideas and brainstorming too so!!! we can also do that!!

if you made it this far i’m literally going to cry bc i love you already for reading a rambling like this . aNYWAY !! that’s my esme. feel free to smash the like and i’ll come to you or message me on discord!!

#hallowayintro #OOOOOF #admin b is most certainly not killing it today #but pls just.... love me anyway

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philipvcgel · 4 years

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[ PHILIP VOGEL. 29. MALE. HE/HIM ] is here! They’ve lived in Silver Lake for [ 2 MONTHS ] and are originally from [ NEW YORK CITY, NEW YORK ]. They are a [ GENERAL CONTRACTOR AT VOGEL CONSTRUCTION AND RENOVATIONS ] and in their downtime love [ MAKING POOR CHOICES ] and [ DISAPPOINTING HIS FAMILY ]. They look a lot like [ YOUNG J.DEPP ] and live [ ON REDCLIFF ST ]. (ooc: alex, 23, they/them, est)

BIO BREAKDOWN

TW - mentions of substance abuse

[ 1990 - 2010 ]

Born in New York City, New York – On the Upper East side, to be exact – to a Veterinarian father, and a fairly successful Real Estate Agent for a mother.

So with that, you could say that these new parents already had some serious hopes and dreams for their new baby boy.

If only someone had broken the news to them earlier… Their son really wasn’t going to be anything special.

And it was unfortunate, really, because they saw Philip as their miracle baby. They had tried countless times to no avail, until him.

With the amount of privilege and opportunity that was already in place for this kid, they probably envisioned him winning the God damn Noble Peace Prize.

Though nothing was alarming in the beginning; Philip was fine as a child, he acted like any other kid would. Spoiled at points, lashed out when he didn’t get his way, and was mostly shy around anyone that wasn’t his parents.

That all changed when time went on and the years flew past him—especially when he was about to leave middle school. That was the true focal point of when his real personality began to sprout.

High school was the time where things fell into place, so to say. It was a time of new beginnings—everything from a first kiss, to cigarette, hook up, and first dip into the world of substances.

The crowd Philip found himself in was that of a popular variety—a little rough around the edges, but given the type of school he was in, that’s what was trendy.

During his teen years, Philip was growing to be more and more careless; doing as he pleased, when he pleased.

Parties became more frequent, and the use of hard drugs and heavy drinking was something he had to keep up with to stay on top.

And honestly, he began to love it– crave it. The rush; his vices had him hooked.

Philip’s parents felt like they barely recognized their child, and prayed that he would snap out of all of this bullshit. But that wasn’t going to be the case. Senior year was around the corner, and he was already on a downward spiral; his future wasn’t looking too bright.

In fact, Senior year really was when shit started to hit the fan. There were two instances which really fucked him up (mentioned in headcanons), and after that, he had to get out. He couldn’t live with her parents anymore, and there really was only one person he could turn to that would understand; his Uncle Daniel.

Philip’s Uncle was a solid dude– he was practically like a second father to the kid. They shared a few similarities when it came to having a rough time in life. Being an ex-addict himself, Daniel saw this as an opportunity to help shake his nephew back into reality.

Dan knew this wasn’t going to be an easy battle. Hell– the man himself still had the occasional slip up. But maybe overtime, his life lessons would end up rubbing off on him?

And that’s officially when Philip moved in with his Uncle; 19 years old, and being thrown into the family’s Construction business; forcing him to take some fucking responsibility for once.

[ 2010 - 2017 ]

From then on Philip’s road to reality was a constant struggle, an endless cycle of trial and error. Certain methods had to be changed; there were always adjustments being made to try and help him out.

The growing responsibility of work was able to distract him for a while, but it never fully went away. He’d constantly hide his addictive habits from his Uncle, continuously using the tactic of paying someone else to take his sober tests.

Philip ended up crafting this perfect routine; even on his worst slip-ups, he’d show up to work looking sober, and fucking push through it. Then when he got back home, he’d lock the door and zonk out until the following morning.

[ 2018 - PRESENT ]

Over the last few years his journey had still been going in and out of progression, though it was sort of leaning more on improvement. Philip couldn’t confidently say that he was sober; but for him, it was sober enough.

In late 2018 there had been plans of opening up another location for Vogel Construction and Renovation. Some big spenders in California had become fairly invested in the work that they were doing in New York, and wanted to bring their ideas and talent to a new state.

There were some finite things that had to be solidified, which caused the opening process to last a little bit longer than they had wanted; but nonetheless, the second location was becoming official.

Daniel was still planning on primarily over-seeing the New York location; that was his home, he couldn’t just up and leave. Philip, on the other hand, barely had any standing attachments and was just itching to start over. Too many memories were connected with NYC that he would rather forget.

They had taken a few trips over, following the growth of their new location and finalizing Philip’s new set up. It was only until a few months ago that everything was ready, and young Vogel was able to officially move to California.

He was bumped up to the title of Contractor, and Daniel hoped that this new transition would light a fire under his nephew’s ass. Maybe some more responsibility would force Philip to grow up; Dan had faith.

HEADCANONS TW - mentions of violence, & death

The two main fuck-ups in high school were as follows: 1) There was a bit of a violent altercation between him and another guy, which would of ended a lot worse if he wasn’t stopped. It all was thanks to his on-again, off-again girlfriend at the time– let’s just say she had a history of cheating on him. 2) Philip was known for being the go-to-guy if you needed a little pick-me-up. And during a high school party, there was one dude that was constantly coming up to him. Philip wasn’t really paying attention to who was asking him for stuff, and unfortunately that led to one individual overdosing.

The rollercoaster journey of his recovery is only due to the fact that – deep down – Philip doesn’t really want to change. His addictive personality just craves to feel the constant rush of what his chosen vices do to him. When he’s under the influence, he feels like he’s on top of the world; even if in reality, he’s really not.

Keeping with the trend of Philip being completely hypocritical, his unfaithfulness stems from his toxic past relationships. He constantly has issues with commitment and being truthful (and doesn’t seem to mind), but once the same is done to him, it’s like the end of the world. Hence the fact that hook-ups are his go-to resource; even then, he still can become jealous.

Always having been interested in the alternative seen, Philip found himself – even at a younger age – hanging around in bars and night clubs, and really investing himself into the music world. If things had worked out a little better for him, maybe he would have tried going that route, but a band was never formed. He does know how to play the guitar fairly fucking well, and can even get by on playing the bass.

Jude Nolan was actually one of Philip’s best friends while he was living in New York; it just so happened to be an added bonus when Jude brought up Silver Lake to him. Philip definitely suggested the area to his Uncle after doing some research about the area, and Daniel felt a bit more lenient knowing that Jude would be close by.

#slintro #(pvabout)#// my trash boi ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

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sky-scribbles · 4 years

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Tagged by @theebonhawke for the OC interview meme, tysm! I’ll take the opportunity to gush about my miniature child Wren!

Tagging @visionmarred, @monty-s-joy, @jaegerjaguar, if you feel like it!

name ➔ 'Wren Serrano. With a W. You know, like the bird.’

are you single ➔ ‘I guess not. It’s hard to tell. For me, anyway. Never had an easy time getting my head around how relationship rules work.’

are you happy ➔ ‘Rarely. But, you know. There’s stuff more important than my happiness.’

are you angry ➔ [A short silence; then their lips flicker into a thin smile.] ‘O, that my tongue were in the thunder's mouth. Then with a passion would I shake the world.’ [Another pause.] ‘Shakespeare.’

are your parents still married ➔ 'My - oh. Those. Let’s just move on.’

NINE FACTS

birthplace ➔ 'Nevada. Technically.’

hair ➔ ‘Black. I dye it, though - usually teal or purple. White sometimes. Probably not smart to stand out, but... it feels good. Feels like me.’

eye colour ➔ 'Dark brown. Guess that’s part of why Ortega says I look like a bird. I mean, that and the fact that I’m miniature.’

mood ➔ 'Uncomfortable. I don’t usually talk this much.’

gender ➔ ‘Uh. No.’

summer or winter ➔ ‘Winter. People don’t question the layers so much. And, you know, more excuses to stay at home curled up in five blankets with coffee and a book and just. Not leave.’

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

are you in love ➔ 'I... look, I don’t know if I’m feeling the same thing that rea- that other people feel. It’s probably nothing close. But it feels real enough to me, so... what the hell. Yeah.’ [Heavy sigh] ‘I need a coffee.’

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ ‘I love Shakespeare too much to say no. Couldn’t happen with me, though. Too demiromantic for that shit.’

who ended your last relationship ➔ 'A telepathic nightmare and a bunch of worse human nightmares. Though... maybe it wasn’t as ended as I thought it was.’

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ ‘That happens when you die and leave people behind. And it’ll happen again. I should never have let this thing with Ricardo go as far as it has.’ [They clasp their hands, so tightly that their fingers shake.] ‘Fucking selfish.’

are you afraid of commitments ➔ ‘Would you commit to something when you’d get rejected eventually? I’m just... trying to be less hurt. And to hurt them less.’

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ ‘Forget a week. I think Ortega considers it an unforgivable failing on his behalf if he lets me go a day without being hugged.’

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ 'Turns out I do. I mean, I don’t know he admire admires me, but he looks up to me. For some reason. It’s kind of awkward, but... he’s all right.’

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ ‘Yeah. And I will again.’

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ 'I mean, it’s not like I really know how to deal with either, but... love, I guess?’

lemonade or iced tea ➔ ‘No. Coffee.’

cats or dogs ➔ [Slowly indicates the vast black cat lying in their lap.] ‘This is Hamlet. He’s perfect.’

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔ 'A few best friends. Wouldn’t know how to handle more.’

wild night out or romantic night in ➔ ‘Can’t really do wild nights out when you’re not a fan of bright lights, loud noises, crowds, losing control, risk-taking, strangers... Anyway, turns out romantic nights in can be... nice.’

day or night ➔ 'I mean, if I’m not having nightmares... there’s something good about night. The quiet. The way everyone on the streets is out there because they want to be, not because they’re shuttling to some dead-end job. Just feels different.’

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ ‘Yeah. Paid for it, too.’

fallen down/up the stairs ➔ 'Look, when you work with Ortega... stuff happens.’

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ 'Yeah. To finish the fight I’ve started. To make the world hear me. And... I’ve wanted someone too. More than I thought this tiny, beat-up body could want anything. Like I said, though. More important things than what I want.’

wanted to disappear ➔ 'You don’t get this good at disappearing if you don’t want it.’

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ ‘Mm. Both. But it’s still so... weird when people smile at me. For real smile, I mean. And it’s good weird. So let’s go with that.’

shorter or taller ➔ ‘Find someone who’s shorter than me. I’ll wait.’

intelligence or attraction ➔ ‘Intelligence. At least that makes sense, attraction’s just... complicated.’

hook-up or relationship ➔ 'You could give me a manual on how to hook up with someone and I still wouldn’t be able to. Or interested.’

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔ 'I... did mean what I said about skipping family questions.’

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ [Pause. More pausing. Then very quiet, slightly breathless laughter.] ‘I need a coffee.’

have you ever ran away from home ➔ 'Still running. Soon I won’t have to anymore.’

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ 'If only they’d let me go that easily.’

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔ ‘I thought I did. Now... now I actually know him, and maybe I didn’t hate him. Maybe I was just scared of what might happen if he asked too many questions.’

who is your best friend ➔ 'Ortega, I guess. Being a best friend isn’t mutually exclusive with being kind of sort of dating. Apart from him, Hamlet. The Rat King. And... yeah, Daniel’s nice to be around.’

who knows everything about you ➔ ‘No one. Including myself. Who is it that can tell me who I am? [Smiles.] That’s... also Shakespeare. Honestly, that guy lived centuries ago and I feel like he gets me better than anyone else does.’

#oc interview #oc: wren serrano #fallen hero #fallen hero: rebirth #eye contact #just one more of these left to do!#*slaps roof of wren* this bad boy can fit so much nerdiness in them

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hannah-writes · 5 years

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The Semiotics of Roswell (aka why Malex is Endgame because the camera says so)

One of the things I’m most grateful for about the Roswell fandom that I’ve met through Tumblr is the renewed passion I found for my degree subject, something I thought I’d fallen out of love with because of the pain associated with my time at university. Turns out I just needed to separate what I’d learned and what I loved from what I’d experienced. And Roswell (and @signoraviolettavalery, in particular) really helped reshape that.

Now, I know y’all are here for some meta, and this is just boring exposition. I’d originally planned on just keysmashing something as I’ve done in the past on other people’s posts and re-blogs but I thought I better try and be consistent.

One last thing before I dive in, like any other interpretation of a text, semiotics is influenced by the viewer, their experiences, their history and their take. It means that people might - and probably will - disagree with the way that I’ve viewed this, but discourse is discourse and I’d be interested to hear other views. For further reading on semiotics, I’d suggest starting with any of these books ( Metz, Christian (1974). Film language: A semiotics of the cinema. University of Chicago Press. Monaco, James (2000). How to read a film: the world of movies, media, and multimedia: language, history, theory. USA: Oxford University Press. Chandler, Daniel (1994). Semiotics for Beginners.).

I’m gonna work an episode at a time and will be focusing mainly on the visual narrative of Malex, since that’s predominantly my ship, but also looking at it through the way it’s parallelled with Echo and Michael/Maria which means there will probably be a fair bit of Echo content. What started out as a way of making a friend feel better is now a monster. You can blame her.

This is gonna be image heavy. You have been warned!

The first time we’re introduced to what we know will be a romantic pairing is Max and Liz at the checkpoint. This is a well-known trope for heterosexual couples; two characters of opposite genders meet in a location in the first episode you can be pretty confident that they’ll hook up before the show is over. Same goes for movies; boy meets girl, there’s bound to be love there somewhere. Or at the very least, sex.

What this also does is begins to set up a visual narrative that lasts across the show that can be referenced when we know a romantic pairing is going to be on the screen. (NB: this is important to note that there will always be other shots where characters are in this position that are not romantically linked, however, the regularity of their placement is what is being called out here, and in Malex’s case - which I’ll get to eventually, so stick with me - there’s an absolute consistency in their framing which is too precise to be accidental)

Max is shown on the left-centre of the frame here, and Liz on the right-centre. Compare these two images with the ones below.

Both are completely on the same side of the shot which in terms of reading the framing indicates that, romantically, they are no longer on the same page. There’s an unevenness in the camera angles here, too which is partly about perspective (i.e. when we look at Max, we’re looking up as Liz is and vice versa) but in a wider context, it also shows a power dynamic (and this is important for later). In this scene, as a police officer, Max has the power. (Think later to the scene in 1x13 where Max and Liz are intimate and a vast majority of the camera angles are shot up at her from Max’s position).

The closeness of these shots is intimate; if we didn’t know the setting of these, we might not have assumed that there’s a physical barrier between them as there’s no real indication of one. The close-up shots are tight on their faces and not so much on the environment around them, focusing the audience to narrow in on their faces.

It’s also a highly unusual move to have a switching POV shot keeping the same angle regardless of who’s POV we’re seeing the scene from which just further highlights that this is telling us categorically that Max and Liz - though romantically entangled (TV Trope 101) - are not right now on the same page. If they were, ironically, they would be on opposite sides of the screen.

When we bring another character in, Sheriff Valenti is more centralised in her framing, and the angle at which she is shot (from Liz’s POV still as we’re inside the car) is immediately less intimate, there’s more space and as an audience we’re made aware of the barrier of the frame of the car door. The close up is even a little less intense here, we see more of Sheriff Valenti’s shoulder in the over-the-shoulder shot of Liz’s face, and we see more of Liz’s car. It’s a reminder, it’s breaking that spell of MaxandLiz that we had earlier by physically creating distance.

What is important, though, is this shot below and it took me a while to realise but Max is reflected in her car window and here is a perfect example of them sharing a shot with a defined side. It’s literally seconds, but they’re on either side of the shot here and even though we can’t see Max (other than in his reflection - and honestly I only noticed when looking through screencaps), we know she’s looking at him. The obvious imagery here is that Max is, literally, in her rear window; he’s part of her past, but it also shows that he’s a part of her life despite her having attempted to move on.

This image is also key in another way; it sets up the beginning of the visual dynamic for this show’s couples that I’m going to call Your Side My Side.

One of the other on screen romantic (sort of) dynamics set up in this is Liz and Kyle. Comparing their framing (over the shoulder, opposite sides) to the Max and Liz (over the shoulder, same side) gives us a clue into the route their relationship is going to take. He’s framed similarly to Sheriff Valenti; Kyle’s in the middle of the shot here, when it would have been just as easy to have him off to one side of the frame and it would have lost no narrative impact. However, there’s none of the my side your side here, since the two of them share the middle of the screen.

In this shot (haha, and it’s a terrible screencap of Jeanine’s beautiful face and for that I AM SORRY), Liz is pretty much bang-smack in the middle of the shot, but both she and the back of Kyle’s head are sharing the same space in the frame and they’re on the same side of the image. You never see Echo or Malex sharing the same side of the shot while they’re both in it, they’re always paralleled on opposite sides (which we’ll see, for example, in the first toolshed scene where they’re sat side-by-side but on either side of the frame).

What’s set up with Kyle & Liz is a narrative that they are not to be framed romantically. Though they hook up, their shots are largely framed in a similar way with them sharing space in the frame.

Now, the reason you’re all here: Malex.

This next few screenshots don’t need as much dissection as the kissing ones, but hey, we’ll spend some time looking at everyone’s pretty faces :D

Michael and Alex have their own sides of the screen - Alex on the right, Michael on the left. What’s interesting here is the closeness of the shots, the character that isn’t in focus is just as dominant on the screen as the one that is; Michael takes up almost half of Alex’s shot (above) and Alex does take up half of Michael’s shot (below)

After they both look at Master Sgt Manes (which is a shot of the two of them in the middle, Master Sgt looking on - setting up the voyeuristic element Malex that I touch on in the video break down) the camera gives them some distance from each other, though the focus and shot type doesn’t change, Alex and Michael barely fit in the frame with each other.

Though we don’t fully know what’s going on, past Michael’s spiteful comments about being a ‘real Manes man’ (and since he’s set up as a fuck-authority character it’s easy to assume that it’s all it is, he’s angry at the fact that The Man is on his property telling him what to do, fuck the man! Well, fuck that man in particular, please, in the airstream I missed you so much and how dare you be here with him.) it’s not until the ‘run and tell your daddy’ that we as an audience realise that there’s likely more going on here. The shift in framing is indicating that it’s Alex putting distance between them, which is a common theme in their relationship for the rest of the season. His face is still in Michael’s shot (above), but only Michael’s shoulder is in Alex’s (below).

Though we’re setting up a precedent for Alex putting distance between them, Michael’s the one that shuts down the interaction in this scene by disappearing into the airstream. He’s the first to break it.

Having set up the my-side-your-side dynamic for Malex in their first interaction, their meeting again at the reunion is interesting because it shows a shift - already - in their interactions. We find that the right-left dynamic is constant unless there’s a power shift or something significant, both of which we see before the Malex kiss.

Here, they’re shot on the same side of the frame (Alex’s side). Alex has come to the reunion thinking that Michael’s doing something wildly illegal considering what his scientists found (and honestly, with Carina confirming Alex’s costume was wrong in the pilot and then in 1x02 seeing Alex with Captain Bars on his collar it makes me so happy he’s outranked his shit-bag father). They’re no longer even remotely on the Same Page. Alex is angry and confused and disappointed; Michael is better than some back-alley meth lab in the middle of a dairy ranch.

The sudden shift in their camera angles - the mid-shot that falls back further when Alex grabs Michael’s arm (as Michael’s looking to get away from Alex again, for the second time in this episode) and holds him close gives us another dizzying shift.

The my-side-your-side changes (below) and the camera pulls in intimately close for the ‘you’re wasting your life’ and ‘does the macho cowboy swagger thing ever get old’.

Alex is turned into Michael (above) but Michael’s not facing Alex, not turned away. “you tryna hold my hand, private?” even though he doesn’t have the physical distance - and the camera doesn’t let him have that either, it’s close and tight and suffocating and Michael can’t escape it even if he wanted to - he can joke, he can look away, he can keep distance between their heads.

Alex has the power in that screenshot above; Alex is the one that grabbed Michael. Alex is the one still holding him.

In the below shot, however - this is a split second before Michael says ‘did it get old for you?’ - we’re treated to the same shot as above but reversed. They’re back on their own sides of the screen and Michael’s reclaimed the power in the scene. When using ‘private’ in an offensively flirtatious manner didn’t work, he drops his voice and all but purrs in Alex’s ear a question (that probably was meant to be mocking and actually ends up being a little more broken than he intended it to be (is that why you left? did you get bored of me? was I not enough?) but it’s enough. Alex is visibly rocked by it and the camera - since it stays so tight on them, swings out a second later to reveal Michael walking away to wrap his arms around another girl, with the framing still being quite visibly your-side-my-side.

Now, let’s talk about the real reason everyone’s here; the Malex kiss. I can’t work out how to embed a youtube video in an already image-heavy post and as I was writing I realised that fuck I have too much to say about it to stick into this already busy as heck post so I’m gonna dissect that separately and focus on stills here, but I’ll link to that post, too. (It’s here, by the way, if you wanna see it and breaks this scene down into TINY PIECES).

The my-side-your-side is constant here, and honestly, the video post I made explains it in a lot more detail but I’ve started so I’ll finish. The blue wash of this entire scene is meant to encourage a sense of calm - and how we move from Alex being backlit with red (below, where he’s saying ‘we’re not kids anymore, what I want doesn’t matter) to being completely swamped in blue like Michael is is representative of the change in Alex from ‘must not kiss Michael’ to swaying into Michael’s orbit and holding onto him because he needs it as much as Michael does. (You can tear the headcanon that they’re soulmates and linked on a fundamental, cosmic level from my cold dead hands).

We’re meant to focus more on Alex’s face in this section, which is why Alex has a few more close-up shots (and eh, who can blame us for wanting more of Tyler’s pretty face? Pfft) and we’re able to watch the journey of resistance (red) to acceptance and calm and serenity and home (blue) as he moves forward into Michael’s space and accepts Michael into his.

This kiss is epic. You can’t deny that. The framing is soft-focused and the camera lingers, allows us to really zoom in on the moment and focus on what’s happening: the intensity of the moment. I’ve talked about this a lot, but the way the camera swings to catch up with Michael as he surges into Alex and then goes still is - imo - representative of how Alex stabilises Michael’s world, soothes it right down. The world rocks on its axis when their lips first touch, when their bodies collide, but then it all goes still and calm as Michael’s entropy changes. The blue helps foster that, too, it’s calming and soothing and tranquil. It’s safety and security. And it’s home.

With Jesse Manes’ words about love being spoken over this (below) shot and not over Echo (who have a cute handprint moment but it’s not the same), the show is choosing to put a focus and emphasis on the fact that this, right here, is a cosmic, epic love that cannot - and will not - be denied. Alex can’t run from who he is (as the soundtrack said while he was looking at a picture of his out-and-proud teenage self) and they can’t run from this (as the soundtrack says, again). This is it for them. And this is it for us, too, as viewers. We’re getting it set up in the very beginning that this is a cosmic love story, that it has history and pain but that it is love. That’s important to remember: we are told at the very beginning that Michael and Alex love each other. It doesn’t matter that they also sets up a paradigm of the two of them almost saying what they mean but never actually saying the words. “What I want doesn’t matter” - I want you. “I never look away, not really” - I love you. “It was late, I was tired” - I stayed because this is safe for me, you are home. What we are TOLD EXPLICITLY is that Michael and Alex love each other.

Hold onto that, folks. Because the visual narrative does not change.

(tagging, by request, @i-never-look-away, @stydiaeverafter, @signoraviolettavalery, @saadiestuff. If you wanna be tagged in future meta, let me know!)

#roswell new mexico #rnm #roswell new mexico cw #alex manes #michael guerin #max evans #liz ortecho #hannah uses her degree #hannah writes #malex #echo #maria deluca #semiotics #roswell cinematography #i have no idea what else to tag this as #semiotics of roswell #meta #my meta #visual meta

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naancypants · 3 years

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maybe this is perfect

Wrote this after 2x12 (+ updated to reflect news about 2x13 & 2x14, hehe) as a sort of speculative confession scene for the finale episode. I hope you enjoy, and I will be polishing this/publishing on Ao3 shortly 💜

2,096 words

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"Hey," Nancy says from behind, twisting both hands around the strap of her messenger bag. "Can we talk?"

At the sound of her voice, Ace straightens from in front of his locker. He lets out a close-mouthed sigh as her words sink into his stomach, and when he turns towards her, the discomfort she's feeling becomes evident in her body language.

"Yeah," he breathes out.

A beat passes where neither makes a move.

Nancy is the first to take a step. "You've been avoiding me for a while now. Ever since the whole.. life-and-death thing with Daniel West." she takes in a shuddering breath, "And I'm sorry that I was willing to let people die to save you. I thought that you would understand, that you would've done the same thing-"

"It's not about the list," Ace cuts in with a shake of his head, "That was a long time ago."

In reality it had only been a few weeks since Nancy and Grant traded a hit list to a professional killer to spare Ace's life, but time seems to move inordinately slow in Horseshoe Bay.

"I know. But that was also the same time I called in for a favor with Celia Hudson..." she allows her sentence to drift off there, urging Ace to connect the unspoken dots.

He hadn't tried to hide his feelings on the situation with Celia, especially whenever he and Nancy talked one-on-one. Yet still, her ability to pinpoint the root of behaviors she already notices in him never fails to surprise.

He clears his throat. "I just... wish you would have consulted me before you made a deal with the devil."

Nancy recalls a recent talk during which she was alone with Ace where he'd briefly confessed his dismay at Nancy's dealings with the Hudson matriarch. A string of monotone words all run together as she attempts to explain, "We already went over this, Ace. I-I-I had to figure out how to save you, there was no time to consider my options."

"Maybe it wasn't worth it."

Within a second, revulsion twists every feature on Nancy's face. "I'm sorry, what?" she demands.

Ace doesn't elaborate. Instead he lifts his raincoat from its hook and shuts the door to his locker, staring down at the garment in his hands with a shameful expression. It isn't long before Nancy has his elbow in a firm grip.

"Hey," she convinces him to whirl around and face her. "You're worth it to me."

You're always worth it to me. You're worth everything to me. A thousand times over, she wants to say. But she doesn't.

"I guess that's my problem."

"Your problem is that I care about you?"

"I don't want to be the reason you sell your soul to the Hudsons."

Nancy blinks, her ferocity weakening as she pulls away. "Aren't I allowed to make my own choices?"

"Of course. But... that doesn't mean I have to like them."

If there's anything Nancy can't stand, it's being clouded over with emotion, but the tightness in her throat only warns of an oncoming flood.

"Then what do you want from me? Tell me what I can do to make it better."

It's the most breakable, the most desperate she thinks she's heard herself. Nancy Drew is independent and decisive and strong. So whose voice is it that wobbles in fear, laying down her pride in the hands of another?

An exhale leaves Ace's lungs, heavy with the weight of uncertainties he can't quite place his finger on.

"Honestly? I don't know right now, Nancy. Maybe just... help me understand why before you make these kinds of decisions. I don't want you to get hurt."

Their eyes linger for what feels like an eternity, distanced by walls that neither of them know how to tear down.

When Ace moves, he turns decisively away.

Panic beginning to swell in her chest, Nancy pushes past all the other emotions running through her mind - fear, guilt, vulnerability - and takes one last step into the room before he has the chance to get away.

"I did it because I love you."

There in the center of the room she stands, the bold and courageous girl detective herself, looking smaller than ever. Her voice is steady, but barely above a whisper now, "Ace... I think I might be in love with you."

Ace stands motionless in awe, save for a swallow and quick shift of his weight.

When Nancy gets nervous, she often rambles to relieve some of her tension. "I didn't know how to say it before, and I- have never actually been in love so maybe I didn't even know what I was feeling until recently, but, you were with Amanda Bobbsey and not in love with me and it's all... very confusing..."

Breath leaves her lungs as quickly as words leave her tongue, anxiety shaking her down to the core. She blinks when the self-awareness sets in, lowering her gaze to the floor for a length of awkward silence.

"Nancy."

Eventually she looks back up to find him just a few feet away now, having crossed the room sometime after she finished prattling on about nothing. His raincoat hits the bench.

"There are a lot of reasons why I can't do this right now." He indicates himself with a curved hand to his chest.

Though her heart sinks, Nancy's eyelids still flutter. "But you- you would? Hypothetically?"

"You won't," Nancy states with a furrowed brow, "Why do you think you would lose us?"

He bobs his head a bit. "Things could get complicated between us. Especially considering... things."

"What do you mean? What kind of things?"

"Well, I'm not trying to point fingers, but... there is your track record. With relationships."

It doesn't escape her attention that he refuses to make eye contact when he says the last part. She tenses up and repeats, "My track record?"

Ace opens his mouth to soften the words, but the look on his face is enough to suffice as an apology. Nancy retreats on her own as three particular guys - Ned Nickerson, Owen Marvin and Gil Bobbsey - flash through her mind's eye. Guys she had used as a distraction, a rebound, and a means of empty sexual gratification, all of which Ace witnessed firsthand from the sidelines.