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yelenasdog · 3 years

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heavy is the head that wears the crown (mob!arvin russell x fem! pastor’s daughter! reader)

genre: angst+fluff

summary: arvin had always heard the saying “heavy is the head that wears the crown” but never truly understood what it meant. not until now

words: 4.06k

warnings: since this is based off of a tdatt, family death, mentions of death, mentions of mobs, kissing, marriage, murder, smoking, suicide, cancer and i think that’s it. it’s also kinda melodramatic, and i haven’t watched tdalt in a while so a lot could be plot inaccurate also idk anything abt the mob or mafia so like dont k*ll me thx i just like joe pesci

a/n: first, i owe the amazing concept of mob!arv to @kelieah ! so go follow her for more mob!arvin goodness!! basically i’m obsessed w 90s mob movies and watched goodfellas and casino and few too many times lately and oops here we r! i tried to write this from the narrator in tdatt’s view, so if u wanna read it like that then cool! btw the pic w the dress is just an idea of the dress reader is wearing not what she looks like! ok enjoy i’ll stop rambling

·。·。·。

“So, Arvin. I was told you paint houses? That true?”

Arvin hesitated, opening his mouth and closing it again. He wasn’t a painter, no, he killed people. For a price, that is.

But rather than saying no, the jab in his side from his uncle told him to answer otherwise.

“Yes, sir. It is.”

The Pastor nodded, taking a drag from his cigar, imported all the way from Cuba. He then placed what was left of the long stick in the crystal tray in front of him, the tapping of it on the reflective surface seeming almost deafening.

“Can all your family be traced down to one place, son?”

Arvin gulped, avoiding his eyes, darting his own around the heavily decorated room. Another jab to his side. He winced, meeting the older man’s eyes. He may not know much about the life he was about to enter, but he knew enough about what that meant.

“Yes, sir. They can be, minus my father and my mother. They’re gone.”

Not even a full beat of silence later, the Pastor spoke.

“How’d he die?”

Arvin was taken aback, though he knew that question was coming. His jaw clenched, as did his fist by his side. If the Pastor noticed, he didn’t speak on it, barely lifting his eyes from the document resting on his desk.

“Suicide, after the war.”

“And your mother?”

He took his lip in between his teeth, feeling the skin break, the tears well in his eyes for reasons he would excuse as the pain he was inflicting.

“Cancer. It happened when I was young, I didn’t barely even know her.”

The pastor looked up, slimming his eyes. This time he did notice the glimmering droplets, welling up in his chestnut colored eyes, threatening to fall. He appreciated the boy’s attempt to keep his emotions in check in front of his would be superior, leaning back into his chair.

“It’s alright, boy. You’re allowed to cry, it was your mother.” His southern accent was thick like molasses, his words drawing out. Arvin still felt that it wasn’t acceptable, though, so he only sniffled and directed his chin further up towards the ceiling. He stood there for a while, nerves running through his every cell. It was electric, like white lighting making its way through his veins at a painstakingly slow pace.

“Right then.”

The pastor stood, walking towards Arvin and his uncle. His expensive loafers tapped along the cold floor as he went, the sound pestering to the ears of Arvin, taunting him. He reached a soft hand out, which the boy standing opposite to him gladly took. He observed how the Pastor’s hand was without scars, calluses. Anything that would point to evidence of him being a killer, doing his own dirty work (or “the Lord’s work” as he liked to put it).

“Welcome to the family, son.”

And as Arvin smiled widely and shook his hand with an iron grip, he began to wonder what his new life would entail doing the “Lord’s work”.

He thought he had a pretty good idea, but boy, was he wrong.

“So, how’d it go?”

It was later, and Arvin was sitting with one his most favorite people, Y/n. The pair were resting in an open field, the wildflowers around her just almost competing with the beauty she held. He bashfully looked to the dirt under his shoes, noticing how only inches away, her hands picked at the damp grass.

“Went well, I think. He told me I’m ‘part of the family now’.”

She smiled at him, and in that moment with her hair so widely astray, and wearing that pale blue dress he adored so much, Arvin’s heart felt a certain emotion he hadn’t necessarily felt for someone at this multitude before. He had felt it for Lenora, his mother, his aunt and uncle. But it was different, then. Because now as he sat with her by his side, his love for her was realized at its full potential.

She began to ramble on, congratulating him on becoming a member of her father’s so called “family”, telling him how proud she was. He couldn’t keep focused on the sweet words that were falling from her lips like honey, though, as he was too caught up in his own head, his own thoughts.

“Arv?” She asked, voice laced with slight concern, but mostly with curiosity.

“Sorry, darlin’. Just thinking.”

She blushes, it’s the first time he’s called her that before. She tries to carry on conversation, though with her heart beating through that pretty dress of her’s, it was a bit difficult.

“About what?” She questioned, doing her very best not to pry too far, to be invasive in the very reserved Arvin’s mind.

Truthfully? He was promising himself that he would marry her one day, make her his wife. But telling her that he was only thinking “‘bout the future” would have to do. I mean, truthfully, he really was!

So he answered her, and she was content with said answer, abandoning the subject and returning to many praises for Arv. The standards for the “family” were high, and though she believed in him fiercely, she knew that at his core Arvin was the sweetest soul she’d ever met, and she was skeptical he could put that aside to do whatever the job would require.

“Arvin?”

He looked up, and she nearly lost her breath. It was Arvin’s sunkissed skin, tanned from working under the hot sun, the beams beating down on him. Or perhaps it was the freckles that lightly dusted his crooked nose, like a constellation from the cosmos above. Maybe even it was the mop that sat on his head, the color all the same of those sweet brown eyes of his. Whatever it was, she felt it could only mean one thing.

Y/n Y/l/n was confident she loved Arvin Russell.

“Hmm?” He asked, tilting his head like a confused canine. Adorably endearing, she thought.

And though she had much to say, she was afraid that if he were the dog in question, then the puppy had got her tongue, so to say.

“Y/n/n?” The boy said, nudging her with his elbow, making a melodious giggle erupt from her chest. “What, cat got your tongue?” Arvin teased, and she only shook her head and smiled, as he had no idea how correct he really was.

“You could say that.”

The two shared laughs over the exchange, and at some point (neither of them are quite sure when, how, or who leaned in first), their lips connected in a short and sweet kiss. It seemed that it only lasted for a moment, and as soon as they pulled apart, Arvin and Y/n both were dying for more.

But they resisted, Arvin reaching out a cautious hand to entangle with hers. She bashfully grinned, as did he (though he did his best to resist).

“Y/n, I really like you.” He had said, his thumb running small circles upon her skin. “And correct me if I’m wrong, but I think you like me too.” He laughed, nervous notes to the sound.

“And well, I was wondering if you’d like to be my girlfr-”

And with a light groan, Y/n had wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing both of them to the ground. She connected their lips, the kiss so oddly blunt, an attack on his lips that he had no plan of fighting off. His hands found her hair, and her’s moved to the sides of his face, holding him so tightly, as if she was afraid he would let go.

“Yes.” She pulled away panting, her lips swollen, his flushed. “Yes, I’d love to be your girlfriend, Arvin.”

They smiled as bright as the setting sun above them, and Arvin pulled her close as she buried her face in the warm crook of his neck. They stayed like that ‘till the sun went down and the stars came out of hiding, the cool summer breeze blowing around them. They both still felt it, then, the love they had only just began to realize was there. And they would continue to feel it for years to come.

Like when Arvin would get back from a job, sometimes with blood splattered on his crisp white shirts, his dirty work getting, well, dirty. She would slowly peel it from his body, taking care to make sure he wasn’t hurt. She would do her best to wash the crimson stains from the fabric, sighing if it was seeming to be of no use. Arvin would come up behind her where she was working at the sink, wrapping his strong arms around her middle and resting his head on her shoulder.

“I’m sorry, Arv,” she would start, blowing a stray strand of hair out of her face, “damn thing won’t budge.” Arvin would just chuckle, reaching up a gentle hand, gentle only for her, to tuck the hair behind her ear, quietly speaking.

“Well I think it looks pretty good, darlin’. It’ll do just fine.” He would spin her around to face him, and pepper small kisses on her skin, smiling at her reaction. And if he was hurt, she would take care to use a warm washcloth, wiping the scarlet splatters from his creamy complexion.

The juxtaposition of the shades was always bewildering for her, oddly beautiful in a way. She never said so, though, only muttering praises of how proud she was, how strong he is, things like that. And Arvin would watch her, honey colored eyes following her as she moved about to fix him right up. No pain would have any real effect on him, not when she was there to reassure him, make him whole again.

As Arvin moved up in their small town world, in the “family”, he remained just as kind, just as gentle. Nothing really changed, no, only the lines on his forehead deepening and the crows feet becoming darker when he smiled; And Y/n’s role, as well. She stopped cleaning him up, stopped trying to rid his shirts of bloody reminders of his living. Arvin seemed to no longer be “painting walls’, but rather making sure jobs were done, everyone was staying in their places.

And things led to another, and all of a sudden Y/n and Arvin were moving into a big house, bigger than Arvin had ever even been in before. Deals and arrangements were made, settlements too.

One regular Tuesday, Arvin came home from what Y/n could tell had been a long, long, day. He was exhausted, but had this unmistakable look of excitement and joy plastered to his face. He had come in bursting through the door, not even taking off his hat or overcoat before making his way over to Y/n and kissing her silly.

“Well hello to you, too, Arv.” She laughed, amusement and curiosity both equally swirling around in her brain, wondering what could possibly have inspired this behavior.

“Things are happening, sweetheart, good, good things.” He took her hands in his, briefly shaking them before planting a kiss to them and walking away, a big smile on his face. And truth be told, not that she would admit it, it scared the Hell outta her. She wasn’t quite sure as to why, but something was itching at her brain, warning her that whatever was brewing wasn't a good thing. But nevertheless, she maintained her grin, painted lips never faltering.

The next day, when the “good things” were supposed to be happening, Arvin was seriously wondering why on God’s green Earth he had expected this to be easy.

“Come again, son?”

Arvin swallowed, shifting on his feet. He mentally scolded himself for ending up in this position again, standing in front of the Pastor’s desk, all kinds of confused. But it had to be this way, it was for the best, he knew. The sun shone through the window above the desk in front of him, right into his eyes, nearly blinding him. The Pastor didn’t really care, though.

“I’m asking for your blessing to ask Y/n’s hand in marriage, sir.”

The older man slowly nodded in understanding, taking a long drag from the expensive cigar between his fat fingers, the gold ring on his pinky also shining brightly under the harsh sun’s light.

“I just thought that after our arrangement-”

“Arvin, I don’t regret making you an heir, I don’t.” He stated, blowing out a long stream of smoke. “Hell, I can feel something big and bad coming, boy, you understand? I know God’s will is holding out on us, on this family. But it’s running thin.”

The young man clenched his jaw, internally cringing on what that might mean to the family, for the family, what it meant for Y/n. He bit his tongue, feeling the iron seep onto his taste buds.

“And I know those damn Teagardins are plotting, they’re plotting for our downfall. Making you next in line is something they won’t see coming, and I trust it’ll stay that way. But I don’t quite understand

“Well I love your daughter, I love her so much that it hurts. And if worst comes to worst…” he stopped, his bottom lip wavering for a moment, trying to carefully dance around the different outcomes of this conversation. “I feel I’ll be better able to protect her if we’re married, if she’s truly mine.” That part might have been a lie. Y/n has never been his, never would be. She was her own person, outside Arvin, outside the family. It was what he loved about her above all else.

The Pastor was quiet for a moment contemplating his response, calculating it.

“Would you die for her?”

“Yes.” The answer came without thought, it was automatic for Arvin.

The Pastor smiled widely, lifting his arms.

“So, when’s the wedding, Arv?

Turns out, it was exactly a year, a month, and 6 days until Y/n and Arvin would tie the knot. Arvin had spent time, waiting to find the perfect moment to ask her the big question. He had decided on a night where the moon was bright and the sky was clear. They sat together in what they had donned “their” field, the greenery around them rustling in the wind. Though he was nervous, he had delivered a stunning speech that had taken poor Y/n’s heart by force. It ended up with both of them crying like babies and a shiny ring on Y/n’s finger.

The wedding itself had taken place on a beautiful summer’s day, and Y/n had worn a pretty white dress that had made Arvin almost faint when he saw her, standing there on her father’s arm. She was all decked out in the most expensive diamonds and pearls, courtesy of her father, making her shine like a crystal of sorts.

It was the best night of her life, Arv’s too. But the joy they had felt must have an inevitable end, as the worst night (Arvin’s too) was soon to follow.

It had been an ambush, the death of the Y/l/n family. The death toll had managed to wrack up every member immediate member of the esteemed mob family, including the Pastor, his wife, and their two sons. A bomb planted in the trunk of their Cadillac that had gone off, placed there by who knows.

When Arvin had heard, his immediate reaction was to thank God that Y/n had decided to stay with him that day, to go lay in the fields just the two of them. Immediately after she had been told, she had fallen into Arvin, her entire body weight being put into his arms. Sobs wracked through her frame, her tears dampening Arvin’s yellow button up.

Once she had “come to”, Y/n had grown to be furious rather than sad. As when you look at the lineage of her family, look at the ranks of the mob and who’s to rise to power when the one in front of them dies, well Arvin was right after Y/n’s big brother, Jamie.

And Y/n had loved her big brother, she had loved him very much and would like to believe that Arvin, her sweet, sweet Arvin, would never do anything of that multitude just to satiate his hunger and appetite for power. The hunger for power she wasn’t even aware he possessed. But how in the Hell was she even supposed to be sure?

“I want to believe you, Arv, I do. But I can’t! It don’t make any damn sense, Arvin!”

“You really think that low of me, Y/n/n?”

Y/n had been shouting, trying to confront him for a crime he hadn’t committed. But Arvin was calm as he spoke, his eyes only watering and his voice only bordering on wavering. Y/n reached a trembling hand to her scalp, pulling lightly on her roots. The tears slipping down her face were hot and salty and she hated it so much.

“What else am I supposed to think?” She lifted an arm, sniffling before putting her other one on her waist, the blue of her dress, the same dress Arvin adored so much, just barely matching what was to become of her mood. She was started to regress, the red hot anger from before transforming to a stormy blue of unsure waters.

“My whole family is dead, and it just so happened that you asked me to stay with you the day they died! My whole family is dead!” She screamed, her voice a crescendo of sorts. “And everyone is clean, Arv, except you. You got the motive, you got the alibi, I’ll give you that much.” She paused, briefly wiping her nose and looking to the blank wall to the left of her father’s office. “It’s funny;” she dryly chuckled, and Arvin looked up.

“You went from doing my daddy’s dirty work to gettin’ some poor bastard to do your own. Ironic isn’t it?”

Arvin stepped towards her, pain twisting his insides up to see his best girl afraid of him, cowering away from his touch.

“You still have me, Y/n. I’m your family.”

She looked to her feet and back to him, shaking her head.

“No, Arv. You’re not. And you will be sorry for what you did to him, to all of them. You will be.” She said, walking away with her heels clicking heavily on the wooden floors. Arvin stood still for a while, not quite sure where to go next. But it dawned on him as the stained glass shone down on his feet in the most poetic manner, that he was already there.

So he dragged his feet along with him, breaths ragged and short, his head slowly tilting up towards the glorious light. He only had to go a few feet, before he sat down in the old leather chair, the only emotions he felt being those of an imposter. He thought back to all the nervous conversations he’d had with the pastor while he was sitting in that chair, a trembling Arvin usually standing opposite, awaiting instruction.

He darted his eyes across the mahogany surface in front of him, looking at all the various things that he only could associate with Y/n’s father. His valued cigar box, the crystalline tray that rested next to it. (He swore he could still smell the fresh smoke, wafting from the little dish.) He opened it, the latch clinking before his hand reached in and his fingers clasped around one of the thick rolls of tobacco. Before he could light it, he felt overwhelmed all of a sudden, and dropped it back into the box, slamming the lid.

He laid back, resting his weary head. Arvin took a deep breath through his nose, exhaling through his mouth, before falling into a not so peaceful slumber.

He was only woken minutes later, Joseph, Y/n’s uncle, wanting to know if Arvin had seen her lately. He shook his head, muttering an annoyed “No”. Joseph got the idea relatively quickly, exiting the room. He heard the chapel’s doors close, taking that as his queue to leave once he saw the time. So he grabbed his hat and his coat, leaving the office and making his way through the dimly lit space. His attention was caught, though, by the cross by the front pews, so beautifully shining. Arvin put down his things, and walked over to the pew, sitting down on the uncomfortable hardwood. He bowed his head, putting his interlocked fingers utop the surface in front of him.

He hadn’t done this in awhile, this whole praying thing. It seemed naive in his way of life, with the things that happened around him, the people lost. But nonetheless, if ever, now was a good time to try.

“Heavenly Father, I, I, uh, I need to talk to you. To, uh, set the record straight.” His hands were sweaty, tears welling in his eyes.

“Y/n, she’s- well she’s the love of my life, God, and I don’t think she loves me anymore. Hell, she wants me dead. But I don’t blame her, I couldn’t ever. Not after...” he paused, his bottom lip shaking, “Not if she thinks I killed her family. But I didn’t, Father, I didn’t and I could never. But she don’t see that. I need her to see that.” He raised his voice, the bitter droplets rolling down his reddened cheeks, hitting his shoes.

“I can’t live without her, I won’t. So I guess I’m askin’ you a favor, Lord. Just… let her know I didn’t do it, that I would never hurt her.” His voice cracked, his words barely audible, not that whoever was listening cared.

“That I love her so much.”

Arvin muttered something of an “Amen”, and then just sat there for he wasn’t sure how long. His silence was interrupted by a mellow and raw voice, cutting through the silence like the sharpest dagger.

“It was the Teagardin family. I just found out.”

Arvin stood and turned so fast he dizzied himself, having to hold onto the back of the pew for stability. His bottom lip quivered, his flushed features gaining a confused look.

“Y/n/n? How long you been there?” He questioned, not bothering to wipe his eyes. She shifted from one foot to the other, fumbling with her hands.

“Long enough.”

There was a mutual understanding at her few words from the two of them, and an apology within them all the same. Her eyes were bloodshot, her nose runny and her overall appearance disheveled. Despite that, just the fact that she was there, to him, made her the most beautiful girl in the world.

Arvin could tell she was holding herself back, her emotions, too, as she started to speak, barely able to get through a sentence as she rambled about how she shouldn’t have assumed things, and that it wasn’t right of her to accuse her beloved of something so dire. But none of it mattered to Arvin as he strode towards her, her words only ceasing when he finally wrapped his arms around her.

“I’m so sorry, Arv.” She sobbed, gripping onto him for dear life. That was all she said, repeating it over and over again with the exception of “I love you” also being reiterated.

Her husband spoke over her hushed tone, saying “It’s alright, doll, I know. You were right to think that, it’s not your fault. It was never your fault.” They continued that way for some time until they both regained their bearings, Arvin wrapping an arm around her shoulders and walking down the front stairs of the chapel.

“Let’s go home, sweet girl.” He had said, so they did. Arvin kissed the side of her head, regarding once more how he loved her, before starting the ride home, his hand on her thigh the whole time, not wanting to let her go for even a second.

His mind was plagued with thoughts of the past, and he remembered an old saying he had heard long ago. What was it? Ah, you know what they say.

“Heavy is the head that wears the crown.”

·。·。·。

how we feeling folks did we like? gimme feedback if u wanna! mwah love u, take care of urself

xx hj

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softsebnbuckystan · 3 years

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Soul ties - Part 6 (Bucky Barnes au)

"Hold, hold on, hold onto me

'Cause I'm a little unsteady"

Word count : 2061

Sleep didn't seem to come to you that night, and you didn't know whether the reason was the pizza you'd had for dinner, your husband's obvious neglect or your supposed soulmate sleeping in the same building. After tossing and turning in your bed for over three hours, you grabbed a pillow and a plaid, put on your slippers and went into the main kitchen. A herbal tea under the stars should be a good way to help you sleep, right? You tried to stay as silent as you could despite the boiling water in the kettle – you always refused to microwave water – and picked some chamomile infusion Wanda had chosen. With your cup in one hand, you opened the picture window. One thing you liked about the compound was the few balconies it had : they weren't too big, but they were large enough for you to sit on a pillow and look at the stars, your back against the wall. You were once again trying to spot constellations, the August sky being perfect for this kind of exercise.

"Can't sleep?"

You almost spilled your tea on your plaid.

"Sorry I scared you."

You smiled weakly at the man who'd just joined you. "It's fine. Wanna sit here with a fellow insomniac?"

Bucky ran a hand through his hair before sitting on your left. His right arm brushed against your exposed skin and you tried to hide your shivers.

"What's keeping you up?" You ask. "I mean, you obviously don't have to tell me."

"Nothing much. Some nightmares."

"Are they ones about...about the war?" Your question startled him ; he shot you a confused look as you lowered yours. "Sorry. Steve told me a few times about his best friend Bucky and I... I made the connection."

"I thought Steve avoided talking about those things."

"What? The way he lost you?"

"Yeah."

"Sorry, that was tactless."

"Don't worry about that." He looked at the sky, leaning his head against the wall. "Wanna tell me what's keeping you up?"

"Well, it's quite ridiculous really," you eluded.

"Steve told me why you're spending time here. Is it him that keeps you up at night?"

You sipped on your tea for a few seconds. "I guess so. It's just that I keep thinking about what I'm doing wrong, you know? I must be doing something wrong."

You heard him take a breath, his shoulders raising with his chest. His arm against yours felt strange, in a good kind of way. You'd never felt so close to anyone in such a short amount of time, and you wondered what made him so special aside from the meaningful tattoo you shared.

"I don't think you're to blame. Can I be honest?"

"Sure."

"I'm sorry if I seem out of place, because we only met a week ago but..."

"You feel like I get you, right? Just like I feel that you get me."

He nodded calmly. "He doesn't seem to realise who he was lucky enough to marry."

"Lucky, huh?"

You looked at him with a smile and had it not been so dark, you could've sworn a red tint had reached his cheeks. "You're hella smart," he explained. "And from what I've seen, you're kind."

"And you think that after two days with me?"

He shrugged and allowed himself a quiet laugh. "You let Sam get the last piece of pizza earlier. I would have never done that."

"True. That is my most selfless act ever." Jumping on his joke felt natural and as it turned out, he had a communicative laugh.

"Why don't you laugh more often? I like it."

Bucky looked you in the eyes, paralysing you with his blue pupils again. It seemed as if he was searching for what to say.

"There aren't a lot of things that make me laugh. You do, though." This one didn't sound like a joke, and you placed your hand on his forearm, instantly sending a funny feeling down to your stomach.

"Consider me flattered," you said. "Can I ask you a question? Don't feel like you're forced to answer, though."

"Sure."

"I'm just curious, working in biochem and stuff... I'm basically the school nurse for theses guys," you explained. "So how does it feel, the metal arm? Do you...feel things the way you do with your right arm?"

He stopped for a moment. "I did not expect that question. That's a good surprise." He raised his left hand in front of him. "It's weird, actually. This one is really advanced. Shuri did an amazing job with it, but... sometimes I'll touch something and think I feel something. I know it's my brain playing tricks on me, but it's not that sentient. I feel pressure, tension...but not actual human sensations." He let his hand fall down on his knees.

"Do you miss it?"

"I got used to it. But yeah."

"Okay, close your eyes."

"What?"

"Do you trust me?"

"Y/n, we met last week."

"I know! But like, it's not a 'do you trust me with your life' situation. Think of it as 'do you trust me with basic skills' kind of thing." You chuckled. "Now close your eyes."

Bucky gave in and you gently grabbed his metal hand. "What do you feel now?" you asked, stroking the back of his hand.

"I know there's something on my hand. And I know it's harmless. But...nothing more, I'm sorry."

"Don't be. It's part of you."

"And you don't mind that?"

"Why would I?" you shrugged. "It's you."

"Even if I were to do this?" He slowly raised his hand, approaching your face. You let him place his hand on your cheek. It didn't feel like flesh and bone, but it still felt right.

"Yes, even then." You held up his gaze, searching those blue eyes for any sign. Signs of what exactly, you didn't know yet. All you wanted was to stare into them forever, never leave this state of mind.

When Bucky's hand fell down your shoulder and kept running down your arm, a thousand shivers ran down your spine. You couldn't – shouldn't – feel this way. You were married now, and doing this... To prevent you from doing anything stupid, you looked away and leaned back against the wall. Getting away from him still was out of your league, though ; you settled for resting your head on his shoulder and spread your plaid over both your bodies. It might've been because nights were fresh, even in August, but it was mostly to make sure you were as close to him as you could be. Before falling asleep, the last thing you felt was Bucky's head letting itself fall on top of yours.

---

"Hey, you need to wake up."

The morning sun made you blink and you felt something on your thigh. Lowering your gaze, you noticed Bucky's hand. You tried not to freak out and looked up at whoever had spoken : Steve. Bucky shifted next to you, woken up by Steve's words as well.

"What's going on?" you asked. Steve might have been the best at hiding concern, he couldn't always hide it from you.

He sighed. "Darren's here."

"Shit." You got up more abruptly than you should've, causing you to lean on Steve's shoulder for a second. "Where is he?"

"Right here."

You turned around, seeing Darren standing in the doorframe. Well, that was unfortunate. You thought you should've been feeling some sort of guilt after being found in another man's arms – technically ; all you felt was anger. You were angry that he'd showed up after standing you up last night, you were angry about the neglect and his overall lack of care.

"What are you doing here?" you asked sharply.

"Bringing you home. Why didn't you come back?" His arms were crossed over his chest and he shot Bucky a furious look. "And why were you sleeping outside with this guy?"

Rubbing your forehead, you gestured towards Steve and Bucky. "Could you guys leave us a minute, please?"

Even though Steve nodded and walked back inside, Bucky seemed unsure about leaving you alone with your husband. You gave him a brief smile and he took the hint. As you closed the door behind him to have some privacy – the door was made of glass, but oh well –, Darren started pacing.

"Did you cheat on me last night?"

"What the hell?" You couldn't believe your ears. "You're kidding, right? You stood. Me. Up. You didn't even bother telling me in advance that you'd go at Brad's, and you didn't even come home. Didn't you think I was tired of being alone every night?"

"You're never alone."

"Damn it, Darren, you came home past dinner every day since we got married! We should be on our honeymoon right now, and yet you don't even bother kissing me goodnight."

"That's all this is about? I work a little too much and you go away to your so-called family?" He'd stopped pacing and raised an eyebrow, proud of his innuendo. His insinuating Steve and the gang weren't your family made your blood boil.

"So-called? So-called, Darren? I love these people. They are my family and they've been more present for me today than you have in a week. What did you expect? That I would happily ask to be invited at Brad's, when I clearly am not welcome there?"

"You are welcome, what the hell are you talking about?"

"They don't like me, and you know that very well." You looked at the ground. You might've been angry, but never being able to fit in within Darren's social circle had always hurt you.

"Maybe you're not trying hard enough."

No words came out of your mouth. How could you say anything to that? This was the ultimate insult. You had given so much to this relationship that you'd never even thought that 'not trying hard enough' could've been the reason they disliked you. First dinner with them, Brad's wife had made fun of what was left of your Sokovian accent, asking Darren if he wanted you to help you get a green card. Of course you'd called her out on her racism. She got upset, but was it your fault? No. During a night out, Brad had been too handsy with you and when telling Darren about it, he'd told you that you were reading too into it, that he was just being friendly. They weren't good people, and you'd always wondered why Darren bothered hanging out with them.

"That's it, go away." You let out an exasperated sigh, opening the door. "You're going to leave the compound to go home and calm down. Maybe I'll be back in a few days."

"I'm not going anywhere without you." That could've sounded romantic. In his mouth, it sounded more like a threat.

"Hell yeah, you are. Now go. My birthday is in three days, and I don't want you to be like this then."

"Right, your birthday. Don't count on me to celebrate it if you don't bother coming home."

You closed your eyes for a moment before gesturing him to leave. He ultimately walked through the glass door and you saw him make eye-contact with Wanda on his way out. You knew she was trying hard not to throw him against a wall or something. You ran your hand through your hair, taking in what had just occurred. You knew Darren would feel better the next day and that it would be like nothing ever happened. You just weren't sure anymore whether it was a good thing or not.

"Don't worry, you can stay here longer," you heard Steve say.

"You're better off with us anyway," Wanda told you.

"You know he's-"

"Please, don't defend him," your sister pleaded. "He's not treating you right and you know it. He hasn't for years. Why are you-"

"Wanda, please. Not here."

You looked at Bucky out of the corner of your eye ; you didn't want to have that conversation in front of him, for some reason. Maybe deep down, you knew he'd side with Wanda. Having your sister call you out was hard enough ; you didn't need your soulmate to start doing it as well.

--- I just finished part 9 so I'm posting part 6 because I can't wait to have your opinion on this one!! Don't forget you can message me anytime to be added to the tag list :)

Tag list :

@ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02

#bucky barnes #bucky barnes x y/n #james bucky barnes #sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan imagine #catws #cacw #captain america #tfatws #self insert #x y/n

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elencelebrindal · 3 years

Note

Saw the passive abilities question, so now we have to ask: what passives would all the golds have?

I am SO sorry this took me so long to answer, but here I go!

Of course, I went the "creature the zodiac sign is linked to" way.

Aries:

You know how rams headbutt each other to assert dominance? The Aries Saint has the ability to headbutt people without gaining brain damage as a result. Well, jokes aside, rams can charge at incredible speed before attacking and have considerable endurance, so maybe the latter is what I can give the Aries Saint as an innate ability? Fights between rams can last for hours, so I bet the Aries Saint can keep fighting for much longer than a Saint normally can.

Taurus:

Rather than an ability, I would say the Taurus Saint has a tendency of being red-green colorblind, as bulls generally have dichromacy. In addition to that, I'd say the Taurus Saint is always the strongest, at least on a physical level, because bulls have incredible strength.

Gemini:

Well, I don't know? The gemini zodiac sign literally represents twins, so... I have no idea what kind of ability I could give the Gemini Saint, aside from an innate capability of bickering with their twin.

...

Okay, I'm done joking. Gemini represents Castor and Pollux, the Dioscuri, who are known for being excellent hunters and horsemen. With this in mind, I'd say the innate ability of the Gemini Saint is exactly that: riding and hunting. And this Saint can hunt anything.

Cancer:

... I thought I had no idea of what do write here, because, well, the constellation is literally just the crab that bit Hercules while he was fighting the Hydra. There's nothing associated with it, save for this fact, and that it was placed among the stars by Hera. But then I remembered that I'm supposed to take into account the animal itself as well, and crabs? They can themselves so well you can't notice them even if you walk right past their hiding spot. So this is what the Cancer Saint's ability. Hiding. Which, if you ask me, is an extremely useful ability, no matter how proud the Gold Saints are.

Leo:

I wanted to say "the Leo Saint has the ability to run after a laser pointer" so bad, but then I remembered that one video I watched of lions being completely uncaring of laser pointers so... guess the joke died before existing. Anyway, the Leo Saint is probably known for ability to deliver short but powerful attacks, just like real lions. They don't have much in terms of stamina - remember, we're still in the superhuman category here - but they are powerful by default. Also, using the Nemean lion to my advantage, I'll say the Leo Saint can't be wounded easily. Just for a silly comparison: if another Saint lands face-first into the ground, there's going to be blood right away; is a Leo Saint lands face-first into the ground, there's still going to be blood right away, but only because Leo would kick in the teeth whoever slammed him on the floor. Basically, it takes effort to draw blood from a Leo Saint.

Also, a Leo Saint that's also a woman has a more refined hunting instinct, because I watched way too many documentaries in my life and I know that a lioness does 99% of the hunting work and it's better at it.

Virgo:

Does the ability of never getting laid count?

This one is tricky, because Virgo represents Astrea, the celestial virgin and goddess of innocence, purity, and precision. Since these don't really qualify as abilities, I looked into her mythology and remembered that she's closely associated with Earth. Because of this, I believe the Virgo Saint's ability is to communicate on a deep, spiritual level with the essence of Earth and its creatures. Which is not too far from what's actually depicted in canon, after all.

Libra:

The Libra Saint can always find the perfect balance. Doesn't matter if it's physical or metaphorical, Thanos would die of envy for how perfectly balanced everything is for this Saint. Aside from this, which is more of a practical ability, the Libra Saint has also the amazing capability of being always able to find loopholes in laws (Libra represents justice and law, so... yeah), and can always know if someone is innocent or guilty.

Scorpio:

Oh, here I go, let me butcher my sign completely. My first thought was that the Scorpio Saint is actually venomous (god, I hope I used the right word, we only have ONE in Italian for poisonous and venomous). Not like a certain Pisces Saint we know and love, of course. Just like with Taurus, it's a characteristic and not a passive ability, but I do have something else as well.

And that something else is an ability to survive even in the worst, most dire conditions. Scorpions, unless you straight up crush them under your foot, are extremely difficult to kill. They have a tremendous immune system, they literally don't drown, they can slow down their metabolism when there's no food around, you can freeze them completely and they'll just walk away once thawed, and they can live in harsh climates with no issues. In light of this, the Scorpio Saint is extremely difficult to kill, and can resist most life-threatening conditions with ease. I'd say is a good passive ability to have, for sure.

Sagittarius:

It goes by itself that the Sagittarius Saint has the innate ability to be absolutely amazing with bow and arrow, but another passive ability they have is horse riding. Lastly, since the constellation actually represents Chiron, the Sagittarius Saint is an excellent mentor and teacher, better than anyone else.

Capricorn:

Goats can climb near vertical surfaces, and so can the saint of this constellation. It's a really useful ability, especially when it comes to stealthy missions and the like. Alongside this, the Capricorn Saint is probably a really good swimmer, since the constellation is half goat and half fish, although not as good as the Pisces Saint.

Aquarius:

Oh, here we have some troubles. The Aquarius constellation represents Ganymede, Zeus' freaking cup-bearer. He's a hero, yes, but he's known for having enchanted Zeus enough to gain a place in the Olympus as an immortal. What does this leave me with? A Saint that has the air association of the sign, the water association of the constellation, and the fascinating beauty of the myth.

Let's just say that the Aquarius Saint has the perfect mastery over ice (which is canon) because air and water? Come on, it's the only thing I cant think about. That's the passive ability, an insane control over water and air that translate in mastery of all ice things. Plus the ability to enchant even the gods, because the Pisces Saint is not the only enticing person of the Sanctuary.

Pisces:

I'd say the passive ability of the Pisces Saint is swimming like a mermaid, aka quickly, efficiently, and without needing as much rest as a normal human. Some powerful Saints can also find themselves able to breathe underwater, but it's a rather rare ability that doesn't show up often, and not many are willing to try breathing underwater just to make sure.

And that's it, since the other somewhat passive ability I love to give every single Pisces Saint (and not only the canon ones) is venomous blood and plant toxins immunity.

I don't know if I nailed or failed this answer. I'm mostly going off of stuff I know out of the top of my head, because I'm a sucker for nature documentaries and documentaries in general, so there might be some stupid things sprinkled here and there.

Doesn't matter.

Once again, sorry for taking so long, and thank you for the interesting ask!

#saint seiya #i cavalieri dello zodiaco #los caballeros del zodiaco #os cavaleiros do zodiaco #knights of the zodiac #gold saints #passive abilities #meta

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angelanimedesaray · 4 years

Text

Through the Looking Glass Chapter 9: April

AN: I’m getting ahead of the question now and stating that in this world, AOT isn’t an anime (Poor souls). So no, the Reader isn’t going to become omnipotent to Levi’s life/world.

They did not binge this in one day. The first round, for sure they did, but it was a little broken up in spurts. For the sake of brevity, considering this was already going to be a long chapter, I cut out all the flickering back and forth and just focused on their Movie Nights and them watching the show.

It might feel a weird mix of rushed and long, because they’re watching the entirety of Your Lie In April, but I wasn’t going to transcribe the whole show, so there’s a lot of summarizing and cutting things out and highlighting certain pieces, but its still long because there’s a LOT to cover.

Also because of how emotional this chapter is actually going to be, I want to just remind...that Levi is like, mid teens, and hasn’t gone through much of the stuff that adult Levi has been through, so in my mind, that justifies a bit more of a REACTION for some of this stuff. But he’s still Levi, and he’s still going to be reserved and such, just...not as controlled as Adult Levi.

This whole chapter is like one big lead up to the next chapter, funnily enough. XD

Also got to listen to “Constellation” by Far Out feat. Karra on repeat writing this. It felt so fitting!

I’m putting quotes from Your Lie in April in italics with quotes and an indent like this, so its clear that they came from the show. Levi’s thoughts/memories will just be in italics, no indention .

Characters: Levi, Reader

Pairing: (Eventual Levi x Reader)

Warnings: SPOILERS FOR “YOUR LIE IN APRIL”, Angst, FEELINGS, Language

Word Count: 10994

<----Previous Chapter Masterlist Next Chapter---->

*Levi’s POV*

At long last, Y/N was finally going to show him those movie, show things she kept talking about. He knew plays and acting and putting on an act, but the concept of a show that was saved so you could watch it whenever you wanted without having to make people do it over and over was novel to him.

Boisterously proclaiming that it was going to be a “Movie Night” day, she’d grabbed his hand and dragged him after her like she’d used to do when they were young, despite his protests. To be fair, he didn’t try too hard to wiggle away, either, letting her pull him along to the living room as she fussed and tried to decide what they were going to watch.

After all of her attempts to explain what a movie or TV show was, she decided that the best way to explain it to him was just to show him, though she still had to stop and explain the type of show they were watching.

“Okay, so what I’m showing you right now, is actually called an anime. It’s a type of animation from a country called Japan, and it’s made from computers or hand drawn. They draw the story, picture by picture, and put it together to make the characters and such move, with actors doing their voices and recording it in time with the pictures, sound effects like bells and wind also being saved, background music, so on and so forth,” she explained as she cut up pieces of paper and layered them on top of each other, pulling out a pencil and drawing a circle on each page, moving its position slightly each time. “See, if you do it frame by frame, and then move it really fast, it's like the ball is bouncing--animation, and anime, works off the same concept, except they’re drawing everything,” she continued to explain, grabbing the bottom page and then letting the papers rapidly spring free, causing Levi to see the ball she drew appear to move along the page, even though he knew it was a bunch of individual drawings going by rapidly.

“They draw a solid background that doesn’t move, and then they add another layer on top that you can see through like glass, but they draw the moving parts on that layer, so it looks like they’re in the solid background and they’re walking and whatnot. It’s really cool--makes me wish I could draw,” she continued, putting aside the papers she’d used for her demonstration and picking up the controller so she could get them started, gesturing for Levi to take a seat on the couch. “I haven’t seen this one yet, but a friend recommended I watch it cause I love music, and I play the piano, and she said it was a really good coming of age story. I’m a little wary cause she said she wanted my reaction to the end, but she usually suggests stuff I love, so I’m gonna trust it,” she continued to babble as the screen lit up with colors and pictures like a computer screen, most of it nonsensical to Levi as she shifted rapidly past most of it looking for the specific show.

She stopped on something extremely colorful, blues and yellows and pinks and reds in vibrant color with four drawn people lying in what looked like the sky, and she abruptly turned to face him. “Are you okay with having to read what they say? The original is in a different language, so it’ll have subtitles at the bottom translating what they say. There are other versions where they redid the speaking parts in different languages, but I really like listening to the original--I feel like it really gets the emotions across because it's so well done.”

Levi hesitated for a moment, contemplating her offer of putting it in a language they understood or keeping the original and having to read what they were saying. Eventually, he just shrugged. “Whichever you want.”

“Subtitles it is,” she said, turning back to the TV and messing with a few things before she finally started the show, coming over to sit by him on the couch. He was sitting normally, his ankle propped up on his leg with one arm resting against the back of the couch, the other lying casually in his lap. Y/N, however, sat directly beside him, his arm behind her shoulders and her side pressed slightly against his, causing Levi to glance at her, mind flashing back to how she’d sat at the piano with him not too long ago. She wasn’t even glancing at him, though, gradually relaxing next to him like a kitten curling up to get warm, her eyes fixed on the colorful display that was now on the TV.

Turning his attention back to the TV, Levi studied the images in front of him, a cheerful bit of piano music fluttering towards them as vibrant and colorful images of a girl chasing a black cat moved seamlessly across the screen, much smoother than the quickly drawn bouncing ball Y/N had put together to describe what they would be watching.

If she was trying to sneak a peak of his reaction, she would catch his eyes had widened at the vibrant colors and amazing detail, the realistic sounds that came through and made him want to check and see if the piano behind them was being played, or there were people hiding somewhere making the character’s voices and singing the song as the scene suddenly shifted to what Y/N described to him as an intro, a quick prologue of sorts that set the tone of the show. Thankfully, however, she’d already explained to him that the sounds were done beforehand, recorded and somehow stored so it would be repeated to the images on the screen as they watched.

It was a little...outside his realm of understanding, how it all worked, and he had the sneaking suspicion he’d just have to accept that it just was and he needed to sit back and try to enjoy it. That was how a show was supposed to work, right? And that was exactly what Y/N seemed to be doing.

As she had warned him, the characters were speaking an entirely different language, so Levi couldn’t understand what was being said on its own. Thankfully, there were the subtitles to translate, Levi’s gaze flickering between reading the small letters to looking at the colorful screen to see what was happening, trying not to get too caught up in the details he didn’t understand, like the games the kids were playing, and how different the environment was even to what he saw in Y/N’s world.

At least the basic stuff he could easily make sense of--the main character was obviously the quiet and reserved, black haired, blue eyed pianist Kousei, and the characters were around Levi and Y/N’s age. The point of the story wasn’t clear yet, but she’d explained this was going to be episodic--it would be played like chapters in a novel, stopping at the end of a chapter before they would have to start the next one. So it might be a while before he started catching that. Right now, they were meeting characters, finding out their relationship to one another and getting hints at the history between them all.

Like the fact that Kousei lived alone because his father was absent, and his mother was deceased. She’d succumbed to illness when he was still young. That alone had the stirrings of empathy settling in Levi’s chest for the main character. He couldn’t relate to the abuse, but the desire to make her better, that somehow he could do something to make her feel better did resonate. It made him listen to their conversations a bit more, since he already had a foothold and something relatable.

Once he started drawing comparisons to the story unfolding in front of him, he couldn’t stop noticing them.

“The moment I met him, my life changed. Everything I saw, heard, and felt. All the scenery around me started to take on color. The whole world began to sparkle.”

A world of monotone, devoid of color, until he meets a certain vibrant youth who brings a sudden rush of color and life into the world around her, dragging Kousei in by the hand--as if he could ever resist the force of nature she was.

Hm. He wondered who that reminded him of.

He didn’t even notice when the “chapter” ended and the next started, his gaze flickering subtly towards Y/N on the couch beside him, appearing just as taken by the story as he already was.

However, this new chapter did bring about new questions, and was a bit closer to his grasp of understanding after watching Y/N play music for so long.

“Do you ever do competitions?” Levi asked as the characters walked around the competition and the history Kousei had at this specific building was teased, easily able to see that there was a piano on the stage despite it being a violin competition. Surely if there were competitions for violins, there were for pianos?

She shook her head, chewing slightly on her lower lip as she answered him. “No way--I play piano for myself and a few people. I’m not looking to make a career of it or become famous for it. Not to mention, I don’t think I’m cut out for competitions. There’s a lot of pressure, and they’re really strict about playing the pieces exactly how they were originally written. I want to play the piano how I feel, and that’s not always by paying attention to how it's written on the sheet.”

“And violins? What are they like?” he asked. He hadn’t seen or heard a violin yet, and was curious to hear what they would sound like.

“They’re a string instrument--portable, small. Really beautiful, too--they’re my second favorite instrument. They usually pair wonderfully with pianos--I’m pretty sure it’s common for a piano to accompany a violin in shows and competitions.”

Levi hushed with his questions again as the scenes playing out on the TV continued to unfold and the first violin performer took the stage, Levi hearing the light and lively music of the violin for the first time, the same song being performed over and over by the nondescript and nameless musicians on the stage in the show.

Beside him, Y/N was slowly tilting her head side to side as she listened to the music being played, eyes fixed on the screen. She must have felt almost in her element watching this, while Levi felt a bit more like Tsubaki, not understanding a lot of the names and such that were being thrown around by the characters in discussion, but still there to enjoy it nonetheless. When Kousei was tapping his fingers on the armchair to the piano music, Levi’s gaze flickered to Y/N to see if she was doing something similar, since she seemed focused on the music as well. It wasn’t as precise as Kousei, maybe she wasn’t playing every note in her head, but her fingers were lightly tapping against her legs like she wanted to be playing the keys on the piano.

Then came Kaori’s first performance.

Watching, Levi felt a familiarity in the girl’s intensity, once again reminded of the girl sitting next to him, who seemed to throw herself into every aspect of life around her--at least compared to him. There was a tension in the air, a feeling that this was going to be much different than the music they’d been hearing up until this point. Even Y/N had stilled next to him, eyes riveted to the girl on the screen.

The first notes were shocking. After listening to Y/N play the piano for so long, even his unprofessional, inexperienced ear could hear the shift in the sound, and how rich and deep it suddenly was. Beside him, Y/N shifted into a more upright position, eyes suddenly lighting up and sparkling as she leaned forward, her breath catching. The ripple through the audience wasn’t just in the show, but in reality, as the two of them on the couch suddenly focused entirely on Kaori’s performance.

The girl’s eyes flashed on screen, and the music suddenly leapt to life before them, making his own heart seem to pound a little faster, the sounds pleasant and uplifting to his ears, making him restless in a good way. It sounded similar to when Y/N played the piano with him that one day, not necessarily in skill, but in the life and emotion that was in it.

Like Y/N, Kaori was pouring herself into her playing, she shone brightly through in the piece, made like it was pulling back a curtain to reveal a part of her soul. Kousei even said as much, stating that Kaori was making the piece hers and hers alone.

The performance ended, and Y/N suddenly grabbed his arm with a squeal. “That was awesome! I’m going to have to find a recording of that!” she said breathlessly. Her excitement was infectious, and almost prompted Levi towards a smile as they slowly settled back onto the couch, the story progressing in front of them.

She was such a stark contrast to the black haired youth in front of her, the whirlwind to his reserved personality, but even she would show flashes of vulnerability, for his eyes only, it seemed. And he did what he could to hide what he could in order to protect her, without her ever knowing, probably.

Wait, was he still thinking about Kaori and Kousei?

Levi shook his head, focusing back on what was happening, reading Kousei’s contemplations about how he could still hear the refrain of the music Kaori played in the competition he witnessed, over and over.

Levi’s fingers tapped slightly against the back of the couch and in his lap, barely tapping out the melodies for the song they’d played on the piano the other day, music he heard even when he was alone with his thoughts in his own world, still able to feel her fingers aligned with his, guiding him through each key. He’d find himself tapping them out in rare moments of idleness, like he was still clinging to the memory of the sound even if he didn’t have a piano in his world.

Y/N shifted entirely back to her relaxed position against Levi’s side, head brushing briefly against his shoulder and making his skin tingle where the brief contact had been, his stomach squirming.

Kaori dragged poor Kousei around everywhere, usually into situations far out of his comfort zone, and far more aggressively than a certain someone sitting beside him. However, it seemed like more often then not, those situations were wonderful places that he wouldn’t have found or experienced on his own.

She brought color to his monochrome life.

Where he was hidden in shadows, she was cast in light, and she didn’t hesitate to pull him into the sun.

”I know you’re broken and beat up, but I want you. I choose you. I want you here.”

The beginning chapters seemed to fly by quickly, with Kaori pushing Kousei more and more, and beside Levi, Y/N seemed to be slowly wiggling closer to him. Was it intentional? Did she realize she was doing it? He did--he seemed hypersensitive to every motion, yet he didn’t pull away, didn’t even twitch. He stayed still, like sudden movement might frighten her away as easily as a stray cat.

As intriguing as the events on the screen were--and he was taking in the information, such as how Kousei used to have a black cat, how he couldn’t hear the sound of the piano after his mother died and quit piano directly afterwards, important stuff like that--Levi’s thoughts kept wandering as he watched.

He thought of how beautiful the trees with the pink petals were, how breathtaking every scene with them was, and how prominently they seemed to feature in every scene that had something meaningful going on. Y/N called them cherry blossom trees. He wanted to see one. What would it look like? What would the scene be if he stood under one with her?

Before he knew it, Kaori had cornered Kousei into accompanying her on the piano, and they were rushing towards another performance. Anticipation stirred in the air between him and Y/N, both of them wondering how this piece would sound, considering Kousei had already been framed as a child prodigy on the piano, and they knew Kaori was breathtaking. What would it sound like when they played together? Levi worried about how it would turn out, how Kousei seemed to be unraveling in front of them just before they went up on stage.

Before Kaori gave him a literal smack to get him out of his own head.

As lighthearted and carefree as she seemed to be, every now and then, she would drop these little petals of wisdom.

Levi’s gaze flickered to Y/N again.

Her eyes would shift from a sparkle that almost seemed naive to a depth he hadn’t expected to see, and she’d say something that seemed beyond her years.

“Go on a journey. A man away from home need feel no shame.”

“Natural. Bizarre. It’s like this girl herself is the journey with no clear destination.”

“You’re Freedom Itself.”

The couple took the stage. The song started out slow, sensual, peaceful. It reminded him slightly of the song Y/N taught him.

Before, predictably, Kaori brought her wild, fast paced playing back, bringing liveliness to the performance. It started beautifully, but just as the music seemed to portray some kind of descent, Kousei lost sense of the notes, the sound distorted even for them, listening, as if they were Kousei, only able to faintly hear Kaori while the rest sounded muffled, strangled out by water. When they were allowed to hear the sound again, it was off, it sounded harsh and jarring, out of sync. Not at all pleasant.

Considering the earlier mentioned problems, he should have known this wasn’t going to be a perfect and completely enjoyable performance. It was grating, and while he understood the emotional significance of seeing Kousei give up halfway through, his ears were a little grateful by that point.

The surprise was seeing Kaori stop as well. He’d thought perhaps something would urge Kousei to start playing again, but he hadn’t expected Kaori to stop in the process. Beside him, Y/N seemed to be biting on her thumbnail, her brows furrowed as she watched the screen in concern, a frown on her face, leg shifting restlessly around on the couch as she suddenly curled closer to Levi, directly against his side, oblivious to the surprised look he shot her because she was so focused with what was happening on the screen.

“Maybe there’s only a dark road up ahead. But you still have to believe and keep going. Believe that the stars will light your path, even a little bit.”

Kaori began to play again, the sound of just the violin playing on its own sounding lonely and out of place, especially when he knew there should be a piano playing with it. All they needed was for Kousei to play again. Would he? No excuses, Kaori needed his support, and Levi found himself silently judging Kousei, mentally pushing him to help her, to play, because that was what she needed from him.

”So what was it that you saw in me?”

“But you have me! Look up, and look at me. Look at me.”

Kousei starting to play again was a relief, even if it wasn’t quite right at first. After a bit of inner reflection, some time where they spent listening to the underwater sounds, it all faded away, and a soft scene of a mother and son filled the screen. The mother’s softly sung lullaby was soothing, and as it shifted to a scene of the sky, Levi’s eyes widened at the brilliant beauty it was, the range of color, of blues and whites and even some purples and pinks. How it sparkled and shimmered, stirring up emotions he didn’t know he’d buried somewhere inside him as he suddenly felt small again, curled up in a nest of soft warmth, staring out a small window up towards the sky high above him for the first time, gazing in wonder at the stars and moon that glittered high above him.

Words from one of the many times Y/N had played the piano for him drifted to his mind. How she had perceived her music had struck some kind of chord with him, even if he wasn’t saying anything--even when he realized he had no words to describe what he was feeling listening to her play that single song. He remembered how she’d told him that the point, what made music with her time, was how it could communicate what couldn’t be said with mere words.

The music shifted, and Kousei finally began to play, and the sound was enrapturing. There were no words--it could only be felt, what was happening between the boy at the piano and the girl with the violin.

Could he find a violin in his world? Could he learn to play it, so he could play with Y/N like Kousei played with Kaori? Would they manage to produce something similar, something wonderful like that? What would it feel like? What would the sound between them be? What would it say?

”I can hear your sound.”

So caught up in his thoughts, in the raw emotion and the music that had just enraptured them both, Levi was caught off guard when the mood took another shift.

He tensed, hand gripping the back of the couch a little harder as the sound faded away into an echo as Kaori suddenly collapsed. The hairs on the back of his neck seemed to raise, warning him of something incoming, even though there was no physical threat. He had a bad feeling, suddenly, seeing Kaori’s paler form in the hospital, seeing Kousei’s disbelieving look, the way all of her face wasn’t visible during certain key answers. It put dread inside him over what was happening with her, where this would go. A brief moment of happiness...but what did it mean in the long run? What did it matter, if it was going to be ripped so harshly away, anyway?

“It was everything to you, and you’re trying to rip that away by force. As if you were plucking off your limbs. That’s why it hurts too much for you to bear.”

“Do you think you’ll be able to forget? No, not a chance. Because you and I are living for that moment.”

“I won’t forget. I won’t forget, even if I die.”

“Thank you.”

The mood of the show mellowed drastically, far more serious notes seeping into the air around them as Kousei and those around him were faced with far more serious matters than who liked who, and music competitions. The competitions seemed to be fading into the background, a mere backdrop to the true story.

Ah…

He might be seeing it now.

There was more to this tale than just playing in competitions.

And he had the feeling he was going to be facing some...difficult scenes. Not the kind of gristly scenes of the everyday Underground. The personal, emotional kind. He was already getting flashes of past events, old emotions stirring this early on. What would come next? How deep was this show going to dig to bring out emotions or thoughts he didn’t even know he was keeping buried?

Y/N shifted again, now blatantly sidled up beside him, head leaning slightly to the side, coming to rest very lightly on his shoulder. Levi stilled, pulled entirely from his thoughts, both of them seeming to hold the position to see what the other would do.

She didn’t pull away.

Neither did he.

Her head leaned a little more heavily against his shoulder, and she got more comfortable in her position next to him. Levi relaxed, letting her do as she pleased, silently grateful for the companionable warmth her presence beside him seemed to be offering him, allowing the scarier thoughts to temporarily be soothed and chased away. It helped that the story was shifting towards the more light-hearted as well, as Kaori and Kousei began to prepare for a piano competition.

“Before your fingers touch the keys, you must determine in your mind how you’re going to play it. Why do you play the piano? Is it for your sake? For someone else’s sake? How do you want to play this piece?”

Levi turned his head slightly to look at Y/N, curiosity stirred up in his mind as Kaori grilled Kousei for his mental imagery while he played. “What about you? What do you think of when you play the piano?” he asked her.

“Hm?” she asked, pulled for the first time out of the show as she turned slightly to meet his gaze, surprised by the inquiry. “I...don’t know. It depends on the moment. Usually it’s memories, though. Certain songs make me think of certain people, usually memories with that person. Maybe something I want to do or say to them? I haven’t thought of that much before...usually I just...do it. And I tend to get lost in what I’m doing, too. I guess that’s part of the reason why I haven’t thought of it much before.”

Levi continued to look at her even as she turned her attention back to the show, barely holding back a question that bubbled up inside him.

Have you ever thought of me?

She was teaching him to play the piano, right? What would his mental imagery be when he played?

While Levi got his quick question in and mulled over his own thoughts once more, the mood shifted to something more serious in the show again.

Kaori was worried she was being too pushy, that Kousei might resent him for forcing him into the position he was in, now. That she was being too hard on him. And something that they said resonated with him, because of recent events.

“You’re suffering because of me. I’m sorry.”

Levi saw Y/N in front of him in his mind’s eye. Her eyes were downcast, lips pressed together, shoulders slightly hunched, and she was on the verge of tears after his barbed words expressing how shitty this situation was for him, how it teased him with what he could never have. Did she blame herself, for him being pulled into her world, always around her for a brief while before he was kicked back?

But again, she’d been right. Even if it was brief, that didn’t mean the time he spent here with her was worthless. It still meant something to him, and it still brought him some comfort and, oddly enough, a sense of security. From the very first time they’d met, she’d provided him with somewhere he could truly feel safe and cared for.

“It was you who swept away all the dust. For sweeping away the dust that had collected on my body...thank you. For encountering me.”

The more hints the story dropped about Kaori’s health, the more worried Levi became about the turn this story might take. He was bracing for impact, a small frown on his face as he saw the pile of medicine Kaori was carrying around with her at the competition. Kousei’s musical rivals didn’t register so much with him in the previous two chapters, because he was still so focused on what was happening with Kousei and Kaori.

Y/N had gotten up at one point by now to get a drink, bringing back a water for him to sip on as they continued the story, time passing by without either of their knowledge of just how long they’d been sitting here. Even Levi, usually so much more active, was content to sit here and watch, hardly noticing his inactivity as he drank up every scene, every word, some ringing out through his mind, others falling into place as narrative importance, worry and elation and nostalgia, as well as so much more, all stirred together inside him, Y/N curled up like a kitten at his side, his arm still leaning against the back of the couch, his hand resting softly on her shoulder.

However, while he and Y/N were falling into a position of ease, the story seemed to be starting to shift more to the relationship between Kousei and his mother, and what happened to her. Kaori was getting worse, it seemed, and they were digging into a relationship that felt, in certain ways, similar to what Levi had gone through, and not too long ago, either, now that he was forced to look at it. It made him...uncomfortable, to say the least, but he wasn’t saying anything--he needed to see where this story was headed, with how invested he was at this point. And even if it got personal, he thought he might be able to sit and endure it all the same.

”My mom’s coming from the hospital to see me perform...so you see, in order to make Mom well again, in order to make her happy, I’m gonna play my very best as a gift!”

The first hit actually made him flinch. It was slight, but it was there, and Y/N might have caught it--he wasn’t expecting it, not from the tone, or what had just been discussed, or the way the scene changed so rapidly from the cheers of the audience after little Kousei finished playing his best for his mother to the slap across his face from the ailing woman. He suddenly felt tense, his hand still on Y/N’s shoulder and his expression suddenly unreadable as the hits kept coming, making something dark and angry well up inside him as Kousei was hit hard enough to draw blood against a backdrop of the abuse he’d been suffering the entire time.

Perhaps Y/N hadn’t caught it, because she was flinching as well, and her reaction was far more open on her face, eyes watering with near-tears, a slight shake in her body, and the occasional, shaking breath.

”All I wanted was for you to get better. All I wanted was for you to be happy. And yet...I wish you would just die.”

“That was the last time I said anything to my mom.”

Levi’s grip tightened on Y/N’s shoulder, but neither of them said a word, a grimness in the air as they continued to watch the story in front of them that had started so colorful but was taking a darker turn rather quickly.

Levi scowled slightly at the switch to such an upbeat little song at the sudden end of the chapter, which would be followed by another upbeat song at the beginning of the next.

“These ‘intros’ and ‘outros’ are deceptively cheerful,” Levi criticized.

“What’s a good story without some struggle?” Y/N replied, though she briefly untangled herself from her position at Levi’s side and wiggled off the couch. “Though, I think I’m going to go grab some tissues. I’m starting to think there’s going to be some really sad or heartfelt stuff coming up. Tell me when it’s back on if I’m still missing!” she added before darting away, leaving Levi to sigh quietly to himself and look up at the ceiling, keeping track of the show in front of him as he waited for her to run off and come back with a colorful box, squirming back into place beside him and letting his hand return to her shoulder as she placed the box next to her on the couch, sighing contently.

“The show must go on!” she insisted, face devoid of the strong emotion they’d been sharing just a few moments ago. She settled next to him with a soft sigh, the sight of Kousei struggling at the piano returning where the previous chapter left off.

They watched him struggle against the ghost of his mother, trying to force himself to play through it, to play even though he couldn’t hear, even as the sound grated on them. Watched as he slowly gave up, until he stopped entirely before the song was even over, just like he had with Kaori.

Part of him had expected Kousei to have some kind of revelation just before he quit and push through, but he’d really stopped. Now it just remained to be seen if he could start again. Of course, after his performance with Kaori, they knew he was disqualified. But would he find a reason to play anyway, like she had?

”Even the you that’s here inside me, won’t let me give up. That day, I wonder. What did you play for?”

Levi felt the ghost of her fingers on his again, unaware that he was tapping the keys against the skin of her shoulder at the memory.

Once more, the sound changed as Kousei found his reason to play. The girl who’d changed his world from monotone to color, who dragged him into a whirlwind of life without giving him the chance to think twice about it.

“Just one person matters to me. Only you matter. Thank you...Will it reach her? I hope it reaches her.”

”Your hidden emotions. The you that you’ve never known. The piano drags out everything…”

Levi’s gaze once more was unfocused on the screen as he was swept away in a sea of his own thoughts, thinking back to the times he’d listened to Y/N play. What had he been hearing those days? What would he hear in her playing in the future? If he put enough effort into learning to play as she tried to teach him...could it help him communicate some of the things he struggled to say? It was at least worth giving it a shot.

And he would be sure to pay closer attention in the future to see what he could hear, what he may not be aware of.

The pacing lulled into something more relaxed once more, a brief reprieve after the emotions that were just thrown at them, allowing him and Y/N to talk a bit more, both of them keeping one eye on the subtitles even as they made little comments about what they’d heard so far. The unspoken love triangle? Maybe it was a triangle. The romantic feelings were crisscrossed and all over the place between this group of friends. They commented on their observations about Kousei and Kaori, what they thought was going to become of the two as they watched, whether Kaori or Tsubaki would end up the one with him in the future.

Music was another thing they talked about, obviously. How they wanted to hear Kousei and Kaori play together again--and were excited they had the chance to with the upcoming concert. Y/N also expressed how she loved Chopin pieces, and as a result was happy about how many Chopin pieces were in the show so far and was hoping to hear more. She also mentioned that Love’s Sorrow, the song they were working on now for the concert, was a beautiful piece--mournful, obviously, but beautiful. She even offered to help him learn it when he got more used to the piano if he wanted to.

Levi was a little distracted, though, by the further warning signs that something was going to happen to Kaori. In the same stroke that he contemplated how she had a skill for seeing the beauty in the world, like Y/N tended to do for him, she said something ominous that further solidified a growing suspicion that Levi was keeping in mind.

“You know, I’m not always going to be around to help you.”

As worried about Kaori as that line made Levi for the context of the show, it also reminded him of his own situation with Y/N. He helped when he could, but he was absent so often...and it worked both ways. He was perfectly capable of taking care of himself when he was on his own, but Y/N he worried about. What if something serious happened when he wasn’t around to help her? Would she be all right? Would she be able to take care of herself until he could be here to help her?

It was another line that resonated with him, another one that was going to burn in his mind and make him brood over their situation. This show was rife with them, and it had his emotions all over the place, despite his outward calm posture.

He had no way of knowing just how strongly the next chapter was going to hit him.

He was as riled up as Kousei after hearing that smart mouthed kid claim that the music Kaori made was just disastrous noise. If he’d ever heard someone say that about the music Y/N played, he was liable to sock them in the mouth. Honestly, after that comment, he’d thought that the focus was going to be on Kaori again, even with all the recent focus on Kousei’s mother. That misconception was quickly fixed, though, when the chapter began with a flashback to Kousei’s mother and how he became a pianist, further reinforced when Kousei started to play and they were given the first glimpses into his thought process, and what his new mentor--his mother’s old friend--was thinking.

Kousei’s mother’s favorite song, Kousei’s lullaby.

”Would she have played it like this?”

Kousei was curled up against the wall in the darkness of a room with no one else, knees pulled up to his chest, head buried, trying to shut out the world, the woman who’d known and been close to Kousei’s mother finding him in the darkness as Kousei cried out for his mother, for someone to help him, save him. Levi tensed, going completely still beside Y/N with his gaze riveted on the scene in front of him.

”That son of ours is about to bid you a last farewell.”

”Will it reach her?”

Levi’s jaw clenched, his teeth grinding together as he attempted to keep a lid on the emotions that were trying to rise inside him again.

“After I’m gone, what’s going to become of Kousei? Will he be able to earn a living?”

There was a pressure on his chest making it impossible to breathe and a forceful pain in his throat that was pushing right at the back, like there was something stuck there that wanted to come out but couldn’t, because he wouldn’t let it no matter how much it pushed.

”What a terrible mother. There’s nothing I can leave that boy...”

His breathing ground to a halt except for the barest, shaking whisper through his nose.

“I wish I could’ve stayed with him longer...Will my treasure ever find happiness?”

Eyes fixed on the screen, Levi suddenly felt the overwhelming need to bolt, could feel his fingers and legs twitch like he was about to without warning, but the music was reaching a crescendo, and he thought maybe, just maybe, he might be able to make it through this, even as the pain in his throat and the pressure on his chest seemed to grow more crushing, more painful, so much harder to contain.

”Do you think it reached my mom? The way I played my very best? Do you think it reached Mom?”

“You two are connected, aren’t you? Of course it reached her.”

Kousei broke on screen, and Levi suddenly realized he wasn’t going to make it to the end of the episode. He needed to bolt now or he might shatter.

Levi tapped Y/N on the shoulder to get her to move, not daring to look at her and possible see her a crying mess already at the emotional scene. He gave a brief, “I need to take a shit,” that he managed to get out in a steady voice past the pain in his throat by some miracle, and then stood up, the brief statement her only warning to shift before his movement accidentally dumped her on the ground. He didn’t run to the bathroom, that would be too much of a tell. Instead, he got up calmly and made his way to the bathroom, not hurrying his step until he was out of sight and already halfway up the stairs.

By the time he reached the bathroom, he couldn’t hold it back any further, safely locked behind the bathroom door with the water in the sink running seconds before he finally choked on the feeling in his throat and chest. A strangled sound left him, and he leaned over the sink, trying to catch his breath even as his body tried to make him sob. His breaths hitched painfully, a slight shake in his hands before they clenched the edge of the sink, shoulders hunched and teeth grinding painfully as a soft whine escaped his rigid body.

Y/N was waiting for him. He couldn’t stay up here forever, but he at least had to get ahold of himself before he headed back down there. Out of stubborn determination, Levi tried to gulp in air and steady his breath and hands. Once he had a strong enough hold of his breathing, he cupped his hands under the water and splashed some of it onto his face to help calm himself down.

Only when he felt his composure had returned, Levi dried off his face and hands, then carefully made his way back downstairs, well-aware that the chapter wasn’t even over, and there were still several chapters left--nine, according to Y/N.

A lot could happen in nine chapters.

Levi calmly returned to his seat on the couch, Y/N giving him a quizzical, examining look before she resumed the position they’d been in before resuming the show in the exact spot he’d left--thankfully, it was after Kousei’s breakdown, so he wouldn’t have to see any of that again.

That didn’t, however, mean that he was in the clear. No, now that they had put a neat little bow on Kousei’s struggle with his mental image of his mother, they were moving on to the one who had been concerning Levi since one of the first few episodes.

”There’s an ever present sorrow hanging over Arima’s music...Then it’s a demon’s path he must walk. His growth is spurred by sorrow. If he walks that path, he might have to lose someone to move forward.”

Kaori was in the hospital again, and Levi felt the uneasiness and dread about the direction this show was taking grow substantially. Especially as Kousei ran inside the room and saw Kaori in the exact position his mother had been in. The way this show was starting to dig at some subconscious and deeply buried pains and fears of his that he would rather keep far from the front of his mind, but it kept plodding on, and he felt far too invested now to just leave it where it was. The curiosity and need to know what happened next would eat away at him if he asked Y/N to stop it there--plus, asking that might tip her off that something about it was upsetting him, considering at this point he couldn’t claim he was bored with it.

”You’re gonna be fine, right?”

“I can see you again, right?”

“You won’t leave me like my mom did, right?”

At this point, the focus on Tsubaki and Kousei’s relationship was a much needed break from the reality and darker questions being asked with Kaori and Kousei right now, questions that he had asked himself from time to time regarding Y/N, questions and concerns he didn’t want to think about for his own sanity. What was happening with Tsubaki was more lighthearted, less grim, even if it was confusing and brought up even more questions to ask himself. After all, Tsubaki was being faced with the question of how she felt about Kousei--the boy who had been her friend since they were little, who she was falling in love with no matter how much she tried to deny it, who she had always been beside and wanted to be beside forever.

It made him wonder. He and Y/N were friends--had been for years now. She was there for him during his darkest moments, and he’d been there for some of her scariest moments. Yes, they were friends, but...was it starting to go deeper than that? Did he feel closer to her, somehow?

Her hands had felt warm against his when they played the piano together, pressed against one another with his arms around each other so they wouldn’t get in each other’s way. His skin had tingled where she touched him when she’d taken care of and cleaned him up after that fight. He felt comfortable sitting beside her now, with her leaning against him, her head on his shoulder, despite how borderline intimate it felt.

Had she felt something similar? They hadn’t really looked at each other in these moments--they’d been avoiding looking at each other whenever something like that happened, so he had no idea. Was she aware of just how comfortable he was around her? How different that was for him? Did she have any clue how important she was becoming to him, how big a part of his life she had gradually become despite the very real distance and difference between their two worlds.

This entire time he’d been drawing similarities between them and Kousei and Kaori, when perhaps the comparison should have been with Tsubaki and Kousei.

It sure as hell might make him feel better, considering he was rather sure she had a terminal illness. After growing up in the Underground and with the experiences he had so far, fatal illnesses were something he could spot, especially when there were as many warning signs as there were for Kaori. She only seemed to be getting worse--he was pretty sure she’d been told she was going to die, even though there was no audio for the moment to confirm it. Since the first episode, Kaori had been centered on making an impression, about living on in the memories and hearts of others--she was clearly afraid of disappearing without a trace after she was gone.

Still, amid all the aching and pain, there was still flashes of hope as Kaori struggled against her illness, and more moments that made him think about the relationship between himself and the girl next to him--more damn connections between them and Kousei and Kaori, which did nothing to sooth his nerves and fears he didn’t even know he had.

“Why are the sounds you make so beautiful I think I’m going to cry?”

“That devotion you showed. Her heart had turned grey, and you gave it color.”

Had he managed to give her what she gave him? He felt like he didn’t have anything to give, coming from the dreadful world he did. She was always the one bringing color into his life, had he ever brought color to hers? Would he ever be able to? His world, his life, was ugly and dark and probably tragic. What could he offer her out of that?

”Did I reach him?”

“You don’t have the time to see me.”

“It’s not about time--I want to see you.”

The chapter started so calmly--discussion about the next round of the competition, Kaori continuing her struggle to get better, Tsubaki finally admitting her feelings for Kousei in a way. Levi even made a quip about how Watari and Kaori really needed to stop dragging him along as the awkward extra in their group, practically rubbing it in his face even if it was unintentional. There was even another moment of resonance with something Tsubaki said to Kousei.

“So you won’t lose your way, so you won’t have regrets, I’ll stay by your side forever.”

Still, he should have seen it coming. It shouldn’t have surprised him, considering he was well aware of the cruel shittiness of the world, even if Y/N wasn’t. All this time he’d spent bracing himself with the hints of just how bad Kaori’s illness was, the ominous lines of hers. All the lightheartedness and self-discovery of the past several episodes came crashing down with the emergency with Kaori as, from what Levi could see even though they clearly had far more advanced medicine that Levi knew nothing about, Kaori had some kind of close call, a brush with death, right in front of Kousei. And then with the damn cat getting hit and dying literally moments later, Kousei having to wash the blood off of his hands and breaking down in the wake of everything that was happening. He shouldn’t have been surprised, but it still ached to see it.

And there were two chapters left. Realistically, he doubted that Kaori was going to recover in two chapters after all this time. By now, he was certain that she was going to die by the end of the story.

She wasn’t even gone yet, and Kousei had already given up. Levi had seen plenty of people reach that point. No fight left, no will to move. Kousei was right back in the position he’d been in at the start, the impending loss of Kaori the final nail in his coffin, his breaking point.

“Why does it have to end up this way? I can’t...go on. No more...I can’t try anymore.”

He hadn’t hit his breaking point--he hoped he never reached that point. But he was sure even he had one, even if he wasn’t sure where his limit was.

Levi blinked at the white fluttering from the sky on screen. A novel sight he couldn’t ignore or just accept. Snow, Kaori called it.

So that was what it looked like. One of the many things he’d heard about but hadn’t seen…

“Have you seen snow before, Levi? Since you live Underground,” Y/N suddenly asked from where she was curled up into his side, head turned to look at him curiously. Levi shook his head no, and she hummed. “You’ll have to show up some time in the winter so I can show you all kinds of awesome things you can do when it snows. It’s cold, but it’s fun. And everything looks so clean and pure...my favorite things are the trees encapsulated in ice,” she said with a wistful sigh, eventually quieting down as the scene on the screen continued to develop.

Maybe one day. But he would have to come through not only when it was winter, but on a day that there was snow, and he had no control over when he blipped over into her world.

Blipped, blip...her word for when Levi flickered into and out of her world. Clearly, it had caught on even in his mind.

“The people I care about keep leaving me...I’m going to be left all alone.”

Inwardly, Levi felt himself flinch, and that desire to bolt was trying to rear its head again, the desire for her to shut it off and spare him these comments that kept digging into the darker corners of himself, the weakness he kept hidden away for no one to see.

“But you have me. But you have me.”

For the first time, Levi felt Y/N’s hand give his little squeeze on his knee as Kaori repeated her sentiment to Kousei.

Perhaps the feelings were mutual. Maybe he wasn’t the only one drowning in emotions on the inside and drawing parallels while they watched this show, if she was giving him a little squeeze after those words. After he registered that he had felt it, and he hadn’t imagined it, he gave her shoulder a small squeeze in return.

“I’m going to struggle as hard as I can. Struggle, struggle, struggle, like there’s no tomorrow.”

“You gave me this desire to cling to the time that I spent with you. Aren’t you going to struggle to? We’re so good at struggling.”

Hell if that wasn’t the story of his life so far, right there.

Collectively, the two of them held their breath, watching as, after Kousei declared how useless it was for him to even try to play in the state he was in right now, Kaori got to her feet on her own, and the sound of the violin softly flickered towards them from the screen. It was like the music was from a dream, her imaginary violin ethereal, Kaori lit up by a flurry of snow as she played to a crescendo and smiled at Kousei.

“See, miracles can happen just like that.”

Shaking, legs trembling, sweating, collapsed into Kousei’s arms with a breathless laugh, clinging to him like a source of comfort. It wasn’t her reciting of the things she knew about Kousei, or what she wished she knew, that drew a response from him, but her heartfelt pleas with Kousei as he held her in her arms.

“I’m scared. I’m scared! Don’t leave me all alone!”

That was why it was familiar. That was how Y/N had held him when…

And perhaps the reason he’d lashed out when he’d found out about how fleeting this world was for him had been because…

Levi shifted, and it was only when Y/N started to pull away did he realize he’d been shifting to get up and walk away, to bolt. When she fixed him with that questioning look again, not-yet-spilled tears in her eyes from the emotion of the scene, her hand still fisted in his shirt, it brought him back to what was happening in the present, and he shook his head as if to dismiss the movement as he sat back down, relieved when the scene changed again.

Considering it was going to the competition and Kaori’s surgery at the same time, he doubted he was going to get much of a reprieve before the emotions hit again. Kousei was still a mess, though it was a miracle he’d at least shown up to the competition, but even watching him was worrisome, wondering if he was going to break at the piano again after all this progress he’d made throughout the show, everyone watching in concern in the show and on the couch.

“I made you remember something you don’t want to remember…”

“I won’t forget, even if I die…”

“You can just forget about it all, like you’ve pressed the reset button…”

“I guess maybe we never should've met, huh?”

Levi had to close his eyes for a moment after that one, sucking in a sharp breath. It was like it had come right out of his denial of their entire situation, how angry he’d been, the pain it had caused, how for a few moments, he’d felt like it would have been better if he could forget it all, if they had never met, because then he wouldn’t know about what he could never have. His heart ached painfully, the words reverberating not in his mind, but in his bones as the pain in his throat already seemed to be returning.

He opened his eyes, and on screen, Kousei started to break down again, face in his hands, on the brink of tears seated at the piano, on stage in front of everyone once again.

Tsubaki sneezed, and after a few moments of reflecting, after realizing how many people he knew were there...Kousei finally began to play, the notes reverberating deep inside his chest in a full, resonating sound. Something about it made him nostalgic, but also so...it was so…

“Bursting with such mournful color.”

The chapter suddenly came to an end mid performance, which startled Levi--especially when Y/N darted forward so suddenly to grab the remote and quickly jump to the next one, immediately snapping back into his side, clutching to his clothes like her life depended on it, curled into a ball as he realized for the first time that tissue box was suddenly right in front of her, easily accessible.

The last episode.

Considering the set-up, neither of them were going to get through this last part unscathed emotionally.

It started from the beginning of the piece this time, the commentary being made by the onlookers and Kousei different this time, centered entirely on Kousei after the very beginning. Levi and Y/N were both enraptured by the performance though, holding to one another on the couch with gazes fixed forward, completely still, even their breathing slight as they paid full attention to every word, and let the music pull them in deeper into the emotional symphony Kousei was creating with just the piano.

“I’m so scared...Somebody…”

“But you have me.”

“I’m not alone. From the moment that we meet someone else, none of us can ever be alone. We’re all connected.”

Levi’s grip tightened slightly on Y/N’s shoulder again, and he felt her grip tighten in return.

“Don’t leave me all alone.”

“Dummy, you have me.”

“Inside me...you exist.”

Y/N nuzzled into his side like a cat, and he thought he felt his shirt starting to get damp. He ignored it, keeping his grip on her firm and steady, staying still beneath her as he stared stalwartly at the screen, even as the emotions were starting to stir violently around inside him.

”No way am I going to leave you all alone. Reach her. Reach her. Reach her. Reach her.”

The scenery changed entirely, like Kousei was playing in the sky amid a shower of colors, floating around like leaves that autumn day when he and Y/N had jumped into the piles and sent them scattering into the air. Kaori’s whispered ‘Thank you’ as Kousei carried her back down the stairs sent a shiver down his spine, especially when Kousei of the present reacted, and turned his head to see Kaori materializing beside him, violin in hand.

Beside him, there was suddenly a whine from Y/N, and a rather large sniffle, as well as that damp feeling on his clothes starting to spread. She trembled slightly beneath his arm and hand, and he realized she was starting to cry rather heavily, her face partially buried in his side.

The music was jarring, disorienting, suddenly intense and tragic as Kousei closed his eyes, barely holding back tears.

Oh.

Oh, shit.

And there it was.

Kaori’s rich violin playing joined into Kousei’s suddenly mournful and tragic playing, and Levi realized that they were witnessing the last time the two would get to play together. It couldn’t happen again in body, but at least in spirit. Words weren’t needed for this moment. Nothing was said between the characters on the screen, and not a word was spoken between Levi and Y/N. She was continuing to cry into his side, with Levi starting to semi-awkwardly rub her shoulder to try and comfort her even as his own heart seemed to be pounding painfully at the sight in front of him, every note piercing him deeper than he thought possible with the raw emotion behind and pure weight of this single moment. All there was at this moment in time, was him, Y/N, and the music being created on the stage in front of them between Kaori and Kousei, one last time.

A sob broke past Y/N’s control as the colorful day turned into a rich night, and Kaori stopped playing. Levi held his breath, watching as transfixed on the scene as Kousei was transfixed on Kaori, the music softening for the briefest moment before it started to turn slow, mournful, and tragic again.

”Wait...please don’t go!”

As Kousei started to beg Kaori to do all of these things with him again, good and bad, Levi felt the pressure on his chest return, the burn in his eyes and the clench in his jaw, the pain in his throat. Memories of his own were flickering before his eyes in place of what Kousei begged of Kaori.

A small hand offering a still-warm roll. A splash of cool water to the face with shrieks and giggles filling the air. The security of being able to lean comfortably against a warm back with the sun shining down from above, hands gripping his legs and his arms wrapped around the girl who carried him home on her back. The cool taste of ice cream as they leaned against the brick store. A gentle hand rubbing soft circles on his back as he slipped in and out of lucid thought in his feverish state. The sound of hope amid darkness that they managed to create together despite his crude piano playing. Her hand even now clenched tightly in his shirt seeking comfort, like when he’d led her home in the dark through the desert.

His hand was stretched out before him, pulled along by the girl that suddenly disappeared when he closed his eyes. He tried to reach a little further, as if his fingertips could press past some veil between his world and hers, so he could reach her even for another moment. The warmth and the softness of the comfort she wrapped him in evaporated into smoke between his fingers, disappearing in translucent curls, leaving him with nothing to hold, the weight of her presence suddenly disappearing.

What if one day he didn’t come back?

What if one day it all just...ended? Without any warning? The only sign that he would never return the passage of time and gradual loss of hope?

“Don’t go, don’t go, please don’t go, please don’t leave me behind!”

Y/N was sobbing openly into his side now, but she didn’t move to stop the show--she kept watching it. Levi was unaware of the fact that his hand was shaking against her shoulder, all of his effort on keeping the emotions bottled inside him as he watched Kaori disappear before Kousei’s eyes in a flurry of petals, swept away by an indifferent wind.

The rest of the last chapter seemed to pass by in a blur, Levi spending most of that time trying to work his way down from the emotions that scene had stirred up in him, glancing over at Y/N to see a collection of tissues around her while her gaze remained fixed forward, still a blubbering mess over the events that were unfolding on screen. Shards of Kaori’s letter made it through to Levi, certain fragments sticking with him in the moment, others slowly settling in likely to make an impact on him later.

“I want Kousei to play the piano for me!”

He understood that sentiment. He loved listening to Y/N play for him, it was one of the many reasons why he brought it up so often. Sure, it was nice she was trying to teach him to play, but the true moment of enjoyment for him was when she played for him.

“Isn’t it funny how the most unforgettable scenes can be so trivial?”

“None of it was trivial.”

No, none of it was. From playing card games in her room to playing tag on the playground, or eating frozen treats on the steps while they played simple games with their hands. Every little moment was one Levi kept stored away, a secret trove of memories just for him and her, something bright and...something that the Underground couldn’t corrupt, because it couldn’t reach or touch this world or the girl at his side.

“Was I able to live inside your heart? Do you think you’ll remember me at least a little? You better not hit reset. Don’t forget me, okay? That’s a promise, okay? I’m glad it’s you, after all.”

Like Y/N said, just because the moments were fleeting, didn’t mean they didn’t matter. Even if they stopped one day, for whatever reason...at least he would have everything that had come before, the memories, the moments that nothing could take away. He didn’t think she would want him to try and forget, anyway. And a part of him wouldn’t want her to forget him, either. Unlike everything else in his life so far, he wanted this good thing to last, one way or another.

“Will I reach you? I hope I can reach you.”

This time, when his mind procured the image of his hand outstretched in front of him, trying to catch the disappearing back of the girl in front of him, fingers finding nothing but air, he let his hand squeeze slightly against Y/N’s shoulder once more, reminding himself she was right here in his arms right now, and not to take that for granted. Maybe sometimes she’d be out of reach, but right now, she was right here. She wasn’t always out of reach. He’d just have to make each moment he was here count for something.

Thankfully, she already seemed pretty good at making that happen, so he felt like he wouldn’t have to worry about it too much. She was always taking him by the hand to have him run with her wherever she wanted to go and explore, and so far, she hadn’t made him regret following her on her little adventures.

She made his life colorful.

“Thank you for being my friend, Levi.”

“I’m the one who should be thanking you.”

Next Chapter---->

Levi Tags: @clary-quinn @humanitys-hottestsoldier @whalerus @sunny-flo @thirstyforsometea

Through The Looking Glass Tags: @artist-bby @kaz2y5-pie @tartheyes @super-peace-fangirl @huntersbunker @nefelimalfoy @soft-levi-girl-blog @honeygivemeachainsaw @regalillegal @sugas-daddy7 @cathyannecookie @chaoticshepardplaid @roayaloveslife @sanrioclit

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thoughtfullyrainynightmare · 3 years

Note

Hello Laura,

I’m 98% sure I’m accidentally going to end up rambling with this and also this may seem like a outta left field ask so... fair warning and I’m sorry in advance if it comes off as ‘huh?’ or something like that.

I’ve been out of the loop for a few days now and just logged on to see the Constellations Ask Game.

Personally, I love love LOVE comparing different methods like

horoscopes

zodiac

astrology/constellations

birth signs

cartomancy (probably one of my favs - I find this one really interesting)

tarot cards (both different and similar to cartomancy and vice versa... but, my opinion, these 2 methods are more different than they are similar)

palmistry

numerology

pendulums

spirit animals

and other fortune/horoscope telling methods/tools from all over the world through history. Practices like these and others alike that are scattered through history can seem small and insignificant in the grand scheme of things with everything that’s happened throughout the centuries...

but things like this, knowing the symbolism of something can give you a better insight of understanding different religions, mythologies, demonology, art, cinema, literature, etc. etc. because at the end of the day, when there isn’t much to go on, how symbolism is interpreted by someone and then used in whatever belief or work; based off of said interpretation can lead you to draw allegories between works, beliefs, or societies you probably would’ve never thought could’ve gotten something from one another; regardless if it was conscientiously or not - symbolism can open the doors to questions like

Why did this culture choose this to represent that?

Were they an isolated society that made it up on their own or could they have learned it from someone/somewhere else?

What was the interpretation then and the connection to how it is viewed today?

What allegorical conclusions can be drawn between this method ‘originated’ at point a and that method ‘originated’ at point b - if these two cultures are on opposite sides of the world and had to foreseeable means of communication with each other?

Etc. Etc.

& That’s one of my favorite aspects about Black Clover other than the story itself and the captain/magic-knight eye candy: Tabata’s use of symbolism and mythology is a talent in of itself; the way he dissects the tiniest context of something from various European mythologies and then uses it to his full advantage to hide in the crevices of a character, continually builds upon each reference and said reference(s) will start to reveal itself(themselves) as the character(a) develops throughout the progression of the story... sorry that was a bit of a tangent - but Tabata’s use of these things throughout Black Clover is so ingenious he deserves recognition and praise for that aspect of his storytelling...

I’m rambling aren’t I? (i warned you at the beginning this wasn’t going to be a conventional ask, sorry if I keep getting off topic) SO THE POINT OF THIS ASK — THE CONSTELLATIONS ASK GAME – I already knew there was a whole plethora of constellations named after figures in Greek mythology... however I was only briefly aware of a handful of Greek Mythology constellations that were used in astrology personality/horoscope predictions like our typical western Aries/Taurus/Gemini/Cancer/Leo(plod)/Virgo/Libra/Scorpius/Sagittarius/Capricornus/Aquarius/Pisces.

Dang it! I was rambling again wasn’t I? Stop rambling me! MY POINT IS: this ask game is one of the first times I’ve seen this many Greek Mythology constellations used that are apparently also used similarly to western zodiac astrology/horoscopes...

SO Laura, I was just wondering if you could please tell me if you knew the name or branch where these constellations stem from - in terms of fortune telling and birth signs? or just any knowledge basically you have in general related to the following?

Andromeda

Cassiopeia

Corvus

Draco

Hydra

Lyra

Persei

Pyxis

(tbh, going down the list, with all the Greek mythology references I almost asked about Taurus too because I read it as ‘Tartarus’ 😅)

Ursa Major

Ursa Minor

Apus

Aquila

Caelum

Canis Major

Crux

Indus

Lupus

Musca

Orion

Pavo

Phoenix

Puppis

Laura, if this is all too odd of an ask I completely understand... and again I apologize for how overboard I can get with my rambling... I just get very passionate and excited so when you’re trying to type it all down vs. talking to someone face to face where it’s easier to read social cues... it’s more difficult remembering when to cut off the sentence and shut up... like now🤭

Always, always, always enjoy your blog Laura! Regardless if this gets answered or not - I hope you have a lovely rest of your day!

Hiya anon~! ^_^

No worries, no worries, we all can ramble when we get exited!

But let me, let me try to get a hold of this first 😅

Okay, so:

I am not that well versed in mythology, but I do have a kind of fondness for it.

Andromeda & Cassiopeia: I believe that she was a princess in Greek mythology, the daughter of Cassiopeia. And the story goes that Cassiopeia boasted about being the most beautiful, which angers Poseidon. And Poseidon then sends a kind of sea monster (or a dragon) to torment the nation. Andromeda is to be sacrificed for the beast in an effort to calm it, but she gets saved Perseus (who later marries her and makes her his queen). And "Andromeda" apparently means "Ruler of men".

I don't know if the name "Cassiopeia" means anything, but it seems to be connected to beauty.

Corvus: It's a constellation that was known as "Raven" in some point, and was apparently one of the constellations that marked the Gates of the Underworld. So, an omen of death.

Hydra: Hydra was also another constellation to mark the Gate to the Underworld, and a general symbol/omen for death. Of course, there's the Hydra that Heracles defeated as his 12 heroic acts.

Draco: I might be mistaken, but I believe that Draco might be another name for Hyra. (If anyone knows better, please do correct me)

Persei: Is a triple star system, that I suspect is referring to Perseus. (Or named after Perseus)

Pyxis: I have no clue.

Okay, I'll... I'll answer on the longer list of constellations a bit later (because I need to wrap my brain around it). But I thought that I'd give a little something already now so that I don't keep you hanging 😅

And in the meantime, I do hope that you have a great day as well! ^_^

#lovely anon #I'll get back

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regrettablewritings · 3 years

Text

Animatic/Storyboard Music

Got bored/procrastinate-y on coloring in this ultra intricate card for my mom. So I’m just gonna make a list of songs I think make for good animatic material. Because why not/I wanna foist my musical tastes on people/ @locke-writes got me in a music binge. For the most part, it’s just gonna be me explaining the meanings or the vibe or what they generally tend to be used for, but really it’s mostly subjective so imaginate whatchu wanna.

“Trust Me” - The Devil’s Carnival Originally depicting a story about the Scorpion and the Frog, it’s the perfect song for when you want to depict the dynamic between a gullible or at the very least more grounded character and a figure whose intentions . . . may be less than pure. Or good for anyone, really.

“The Dismemberment Song” - The Blue Kid I have a playlist dedicated to songs whose content and sound are just . . . not married to one another, but got a weird flirtationship situation going on. Anyway, I’ve seen people say that they like to imagine it’s sung through the POV of a scorned housewife who’s finally Had Enough™️. And . . . They’re really not wrong for it. Really, though, it’s just the right song for when a sadist is just ready to gut a fucker but is disturbingly jolly about it.

“Love Me Dead” - Ludo Continuing with my trend of songs about people in less than ideal situations, “Love Me Dead” is straight to the point: The relationship is just awful and the guy gets nothing from it, but he can’t help but be hopelessly in a state of adoration for the woman he’s latched on to (“You’re born of a jackal! YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL!!”)

“Constellations” - The Oh Hellos There actually isn’t a plot to this song, it just feels really good (as all songs by The Oh Hellos are prone to be). However, if you feel a need to portray the concept of having to reorganize your thoughts after realizing that maybe they weren’t what you initially thought, and then coming to the conclusion that even though everything changes as a result, you’ll be alright? This is the song for you.

“A Kindling of Sorts” - The Oh Hellos An instrumental piece that is like . . . It’s related to another song of theirs about nationalism called “Torches”, so make of that what you will. (I personally have been using it to imagine storyboarding an opening for an animated The Witcher series.)

“The Other Side” - The Greatest Showman I know everyone and their mom has used this to portray situations like villains trying to get good guys to join their side. But I dun curr, it’s a fun song. That, and I like what Emilyamio did with her interpretation. It’s fun. For a basic rundown, know it’s another song about two characters’ dynamics being explored, with one coming to the other with a proposal that they join them in whatever endeavors they have in store. It’s often portrayed as something evil, but it really doesn’t have to be, as the original context was more about letting loose than anything.

“The Thief and the Moon” - Shawn James A much more mellow piece. Simple and straight to the point: A thief tells the Moon that he plans on stealing her light to shade the world in darkness. The Moon insists that the thief would only doom the world by doing so, to which the thief clarifies that he doesn’t care; if the world is shrouded in shadow, it means he will be able to steal with more ease (“My very existence is a race to attain wealth”). Disgusted, the Moon essentially curses the man with a warning that his greed can and will bring about his end -- and leave him to be forgotten by the rest of mankind, once it happens.

“Villainous Thing” - Shayfer James I’ve seen people say that this song is about singing to a cadaver but I can’t quite find anything confirming that (translation: I’m too lazy to look too into it). Regardless, it’s a fun ditty that yet again portrays someone with less than pure intentions encouraging someone to join him in some good old fashion villainy, as they’ve clearly endured their fair share of hardships and surely wanted to do evil anyway (“You’ll find no ever after here, it’s clear that isn’t what you came for“).

“Necromancin Dancin” - Bear Ghost Straight forward and fun as fuck: A necromancer apparently seems to cross classes and try his hand at barding by not only raising an army of the dead, but by also making them dance in order to make conquering the world easier. Because . . . a body doing Disco Duck isn’t scary, I guess.

"Aquaman” - Walk the Moon A song about one half of a couple wanting to become more involved in their relationship, but still having some nervousness about doing so. If you somehow haven’t heard this song yet, you gotta because it’s the cutest shit.

“Jenny’s Tale” - Ren I’ll be brutally honest, it’s about a woman named Jenny who just wants to get home after a long day of work and an unfortunate encounter with a 14 year old named Screech who gets way in over his head. As in, like, a death happens. That being said, I need. Like. An animated music video of this song. I imagine this shit in gritty charcoal or painted on glass, it just needs this. Somebody who isn’t me who knows what they’re doing, please look into this.

“The Curse of the Fold” - Shawn James As cheesy as it sounds, it basically boils down to not giving up or yielding. But what makes it so cool is the fact that Shawn James makes all his songs basically sound like a western gothic soundtrack. Which helps, because he admits that the title is also a reference to poker, in which giving up too often or too easily can often rob you of a delicious reward gained through perseverance and sacrifice.

“Thank God I’m Not You” - Himalayas I prefer to imagine this for an arrogant asshole of a character. Because that’s exactly what this song is about: They’re a liar and a thief, they’ve been called the son of Satan, and yet they consider themselves lucky -- ‘cause at least they ain’t you! If you have a character in mind who’s a delightful, punchable little shit, this is probably either their anthem or at least on the playlist you inevitably made for them.

"Passerine" - The Oh Hellos So there’s a common trend in The Oh Hellos’ discography that tends to explore the two founders’ experiences with faith and their growth in how they understand it or recognize it. With “Passerine”, the concept being explored is the experience they had when it came to taking a step back and realizing just how many of their supposed “fellow Christians” were actually doing some rather unchristian things, so to speak. When they “prune[d] their feathers”, it became clear that they had less in common with certain people proclaiming to be Christian while also spouting bigotry and greed. However, the desire to move away from such influences comes with the feeling of being torn, as moving too far away from the Bible leaves the singer feeling as though she is betraying something she holds dear. As a result, “Passerine” symbolizes not a breakage from faith, but a breakage from blind faith as they understood it, and the inevitable feeling of being torn that comes along with expanding upon how one views their beliefs and those around them. It’s therefore not uncommon to see Good Omens animatics using this song. (Something I also noticed is that throughout the song, you hear pieces of “Constellations”. TOH have a tendency to reference previous pieces, and considering “Constellations” is a song about changing perspective and the meanings we apply to them, it fits in beautifully with a song about reevaluating one’s stance.)

“Like the Dawn” - The Oh Hellos As stated before, a lot of TOH’s discography draws inspiration from their faith. In this case, it’s an outright retelling of the Garden of Eden, specifically when Adam awoke to find Eve had been created. What makes this iteration stand out to most, however, is that the singer is female, which seems to change the vibe you get. It sweetens the feeling of wonder we often forget the first man might’ve felt upon seeing somebody made for him, creating an air of beauty yet comfort with such lines as “And like the dawn, you broke the dark and my whole earth shook” or “You were the brightest shade of sun I had ever seen.” Even without the awareness or an interest in religious influences, it still manages to be a very feel-good song -- which is the mark of an overall good song in general!

“Confession” - RED Dealing with the constant battle of feeling ashamed that how you feel on the inside isn’t in sync with how you present yourself on the outside. That you should feel bad for smiling out at the world while screaming and thrashing -- like it’s a lie. But you can’t help it: It’s what you’re accustomed to. Though it does end on a hopeful note with the singer deciding that they want to reach out for help and rid themselves of this feeling of pain they have inside.

“When I Grow Up” - Matilda . . . Only if you want to cry. Seriously. When you’re a kid, everything seems difficult but you’re positive that once you grow up, everything will change: You’ll be tall enough to climb the trees you were too small to, you’ll be able to carry everything because you’re stronger, you’ll be brave enough to fight the monsters hiding in your room, you’ll finally have all the answers. . . . But life isn’t that simple. We wish it were, but it isn’t. There’s this bittersweetness about this song, about a sense of purity we unfortunately grow out of where we think things will be just the same enough for us to do what we want when we want, but things are more complicated than that. We still struggle to reach, to bear the weight, to not be afraid, to have even a fraction of the answers. But! We’re reminded that just because we’re told life isn’t fair, doesn’t mean we have to take it. After all, nothing changes when nothing happens. And even beyond that? It helps to remember that we’re never quite done growing up; there’s always more to learn, so remember to be patient with yourself.

“Hand Me My Shovel, I’m Going In!” - Will Wood and the Tapeworms This is . . . a song. The lyrics are honestly kinda all over the place and shooting rapid fire, making it a bit difficult to discern what exactly the singer is going on about. It makes for a pretty crazy song that suggests somebody’s going unhinged, which is apparently precisely the intention?? I’ve seen a lot of people interpret this as a song about a guy who is already at a low point in his life but nonetheless is going, “. . . I bet I can go deeper. Hand me my shovel.”

“No Reason” - Beetlejuice God if i had a youtube channel the segment i would spend on this song would be so juicy just ripe and thicc with thoughts and feelings i tell ya rich like a fresh fatty peach the apple that tempted Eve and gagged Adam yes ‘Nother song that explores the dynamic between two differing people and their worldviews. At its simplest, “No Reason” is about two opposite ends of a spectrum coming to a head: Idealistic and hippie-dippy Delia is convinced that everything happens for a reason, while cynical and depressed Lydia asserts that everything happens at random and it doesn’t matter anyway because we’re all going to die. And even though the delivery is ultimately a comedic one, you get more insight as to why one another feels the way that they do: Lydia, as we’ve previously learned, has recently lost her mother to an illness, which has left her depressed and feeling invisible (a theme in the show); whereas Delia’s failed marriage and desperate attempts to nonetheless be happy have left her dependent on the idea that these things had to have happened for a reason, otherwise, her pain would’ve been for nothing. What’s important is that neither side is actually appointed as the winner, with the song ultimately ending that the universe is random for a reason.

“Barbara 2.0″ - Beetlejuice Without spoiling anything (or at least too much), “Barbara 2.0″ is about growth. It’s about learning to put your foot down after a literal lifetime of being passive out of fear of what might happen and just accepting that nothing will happen if nothing happens -- but that doesn’t make whatever happens good.

“Bleed Magic” - IDHKBTFM It’s either about a killer or a vampire. No, seriously: When Dallon Weekes was asked about what the story of the song was, that was his answer. I personally prefer to think of it as a vampire or demon of some kind, given that the song came out around Halloween. Perfect for yet another example of somebody (likely supernatural) having an upper hand on an unsuspecting mortal. ...I have way too many of these on this list, I swear I don’t have a problem —

“Feel Good Drag” - Anberlin A toxic relationship of sorts. In that it shouldn’t be a relationship to begin with. Depicts the singer being approached by an ex, who seeks a one-night stand while her current boyfriend is out of town. However, the singer is aware that trying to continue anything regardless of the situation is a moot point: Even when they were together, their relationship was doomed from the start, and nothing about that is going to change -- especially now.

“Soviet Trumpeter” - Katzenjammer (It’s kinda difficult to work with this one but I’ve seen people work with less or stranger.) Based off the life of one Eddie Rosner, a Jewish Polish trumpeter whose fame within the USSR unfortunately faded due to the Soviet Union’s heavy censorship. Even if nothing is to be done with it, it still paints a melancholic picture of a talented man’s skills being largely unknown as a result of things beyond his control. All wrapped up in a song that denotes a strange deterioration in a way I can’t quite place.

“Apple Blossom” - The White Stripes On its face, it’s a very sweet song: The singer encourages his beloved to be vulnerable enough with him to tell him her troubles and to let him “sort them out for [her]”. She’s clearly saddened, and seeing so distresses him to where he insists that he will do whatever he can to make her happy. However, the tone of the song and certain lines make it easy to twist into yet another song of a character attempting to seduce somebody into a state of vulnerability . . .

“You’ve Got Possibilities” - It’s a Bird, It’s a Plane, It’s Superman The one singular song people actually liked from this forgotten musical. Perfect for when somebody intends on giving somebody else a makeover. Y’know, after totally roasting them on their posture and clothing. If you want to add a lil something extra, know that the context is that a lady wants to give Clark Kent a makeover, insisting that in spite of his schlubby appearance, there’s gotta be something underneath. I repeat: She is telling this to Clark freaking Kent.

“Still” - Anastasia In the context, the show’s antagonist (not bad guy, there’s a difference) finds himself torn between obligation and personal interest: Does he fulfill his duty and live up to expectations set upon him by his father and the society he’s been selected to help uphold? Or does he let a woman he has become fond of go? Is she truly as innocent as she claims? Or is she well aware of what she’s doing? And every time he thinks he’s reached a conclusion, he can’t help but thing, “But still . . .” Good for when you want to portray a character conflicted between obligations of politics and what their heart wants.

“Two Nobodies in New York” - [title of show] Two young men plan on entering an upcoming theatrical festival but struggle with what to even submit. This song in particular focuses on them trying to figure out what to even write, the concept of fame, and if wanting the certain things that may come with fame can mean anything from being sell-outs to getting a sitcom. It’s admittedly specific, but it’s a cute and funny interaction between two guys who are, for the most part, actually in sync with their thoughts and anxieties. For the time being.

“Into the Unknown” - Idina Menzel Look, I refuse to watch that movie. I just do. But I will take this song over That Other One any day. Mostly because I personally like to imagine that the singer in this song is about to embark on a Pixaresque journey after accidentally leaving her home during the night of The Wild Hunt, accidentally separating her spirit from her body and thus giving her a very limited time to get back to it before she remains a soul trapped in a whirlwind of ghosts forever. But first: Let’s sing about that strange howling that coaxes her so.

“You’re Gonna Go Far, Kid” - The Offspring I sure do long songs that can characterize a shithead . . . Anywho! The smoothest way to go is just to portray some cocky, manipulative shit who’s used to just lying and cheating their way to get what they want before slipping away without any consequences -- to a point. There’s the option of portraying the betrayer’s comeuppance, but there’s also the frustratingly delicious option of just letting them get away with whatever to lie another day.

“Why Should I Worry” - Billy Joel When in doubt, go to earlier Disney. Because like it or not, they had some bops. And when in the need of portraying a happy-go-lucky (probably idiotic) doofus and his more neurotic or cynical friend going about their life with the former just Mr. Magooing it while the latter suffers more realistic consequences? You go with this song. If you want. That’s just me.

“Transformation” - Brother Bear For when you want to invoke a mystical or otherworldly feeling. There’s really not much more I can say except to encourage you to listen to it and watch the scene if you can find it. You’ll get the vibe.

“No Girl’s Toy” - Raggedy Ann and Andy: A Musical Adventure It’s a big shame this movie is relatively unknown and never got a proper VHS release or anything -- mainly because the music in this cult classic is definitely stuff I could see becoming standards. I could see people performing “I Never Get Enough” for little shows, or recycling “Blue” for a different show. Thankfully, somebody was able to upload a clear enough sounding recording of “No Girl’s Toy”, so at least we have that. In context (just...follow me on this), Raggedy Ann’s brother, Raggedy Andy, has had enough of being subjected to “girly things” while in the nursery. Additionally, though, the way the song was written means it can also be interpreted as just a guy who refuses to let himself be yanked around regardless of how thick the sugar being laid on him is. . . . If you wanna poke fun as a character for trying to appear tougher than what he is, here’s the song. (That being said, Andy is a sweetheart at the end of the day. No amount of tough-fronting will hide that.)

“I Enjoy Being a Girl” - Flower Drum Song (It is by sheer coincidence that this song follows the above.) Really, it’s exactly what it says on the tin: The singer enjoys being a girl and what all it entails for her. She loves her feminine form, she loves the attention she gets, she loves dolling herself up, she loves frilly dresses, and she hopes to one day marry a guy who enjoys “having a girl like [her].” And honestly? Good on her! Love whatcha love, lovely! Seriously, though, it’s a cute song for anyone who just wants to indulge in some girliness.

“Chip on My Shoulder” - Legally Blonde Come on: It’s Legally Blonde. You know what this bop is, or at least have an idea of it. But since I love this song, I’ll indulge: Disheartened by her failure to both win back her ex and succeed in the fast-paced environment of Harvard, the normally bright-eyed Elle is ready to call it quits. That is, until junior partner Emmett gets involved. Unimpressed by her story, Emmett reveals that he got to where he was by busting his ass due to having a chip on his shoulder from his rough beginnings — and maybe a chip on the shoulder is exactly what Elle needs to survive. And as somebody driven by spite, I can appreciate that kind of message. Anywho, it all in all is a song about growth and learning how to be “driven as hell” to keep up with an opportunity that may not be easy to take, but is not one to be passed by.

“What Do I Need with Love?” - Thoroughly Modern Millie “What Do I Need with Love?” asks exactly that: He could date a different girl every night of the week if he so wanted, and never once had any desire to go steady before. He considers himself lucky to have never fallen for anyone -- until now. Which he’s not! He’s not in love. ...He totally is and, by his own admission, he’s got it bad it’s terribly adorable.

“Interlude IV” - Zach Callison The entire album is actually a narrative about a failed relationship of Callison’s and I’m sure the other songs are just as great fuel for animatics -- I’m just too caught up on listening to this one over and over. Sometimes, we just wanna listen to Steven Universe cuss and be openly furious. Seriously, though, even without the context of the rest of the story, you get the idea well enough: A spiteful Zach decides to get back at the one that broke his heart in such a painful way, whereas a well-meaning friend insists they just leave it be and move on. While this technically would be the better and healthier option, Zach is just too far gone with rage to let it go and decides to take care of things by himself.

“Evermore” - Beauty & the Beast Look, I know the remake wasn’t anything crazy. But also I don’t honestly care too terribly much. Besides, this song was nice and it really gets me after that key change. We all want a royal doofus to be enamored enough with us to let us go for our own happiness but still know that their life will forever be changed because they met us. Animate that shit. Over and over.

goddamn this list is long lemme just stop this now byyyyeeeee

#long post #boop #music post #sorta

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chilling-seavey · 4 years

Note

Hii! I was just thinking back to ABM before and I got this idea... would you be able to do something where maybe Clementine gets jealous of, say, Penelope and Corbyn’s relationship because their personalities are so similar? I read some of the blurbs before and the one where the boys were babysitting the girls and Corbyn and Penelope just clicked. Thanks!! 😁😁

Omg yes Penny is Corbyn’s lil buddy it’s so cute. Clementine wasn’t really much of a jealous type especially because she was so close with Jack but she does tend to get jealous when the attention isn’t on her—

Friday, March 15, 2024

Out of university, Corbyn got a job at the Science Centre just outside of the city where he worked in the space wing and gave tours and ran little workshops for tour groups and things. He really loved his job but he loved it even more when the girls came to visit too. Daniel had taken the day off work – Florence had a doctor’s appointment in the morning anyway – and then the family drove down to the science centre for the afternoon since Corbyn only worked there during the week.

He met them in the lobby and got them their tickets with his employee discount before leading them through the building towards the space wing. Three-and-a-half-year-old Penelope held his hand excitedly, eyeing his fancy white lab coat he had to wear with his first name embroidered on the breast pocket in blue font. Corbyn wore it and a beaming smile with pride whenever he was at work.

Five-year-old Clementine was sat in Daniel’s arms as they took the escalator down a few levels to the space hall but wiggled to be set down when they reached it. Clementine ran ahead when they got there, in awe by the dark painted ceiling dotted with little lights to resemble stars. She rushed right over to the first set up booth that had a display model of one of the space telescopes.

“This way, Clemmy.” Daniel called, urging her to follow after them deeper into the exhibit.

Corbyn led them down the star-lit hallway to another section that had a black-out curtain hiding a small circular room that was basically one big screen. Penelope wasn’t a fan of the dark so she took a bit of convincing to go inside, until Corbyn picked her right up and made a pinky promise that it was safe. Clementine held Florence’s hand as they all stood in the middle of the small dark room, Corbyn over by the wall where a computer screen was.

“What’s your birthday, buddy?” he asked the little girl in his arms.

Penelope held up three fingers.

“Not how old you are.” Corbyn chuckled. “Your birthdate.”

“January 1!” Clementine pipped up.

“We’re gonna do Penelope’s first.” Corbyn said.

Clementine frowned.

“July 30, 2020.” Florence answered for the youngest.

Corbyn set the date into the computer screen and the small room filled with a display of stars like they were standing right in outer space. Penelope’s eyes went wide and she peered around the whole room from her spot in Corbyn’s arms.

“This is what the sky looked like the day you were born!” Corbyn explained with a grin. “Isn’t it pretty?”

Penelope nodded, her small arm draped around his shoulders.

“Do you know your planets?”

“I do!” Clementine raised her hand eagerly. “Mercury, Venus, Earth, Mars, Jupiter, Saturn, Uranus, Neptune.”

“Very good, Clemmy.” Corbyn praised softly.

Clementine beamed with pride.

Corbyn carried Penelope closer to the wall of stars and pointed to a spot, “That’s Jupiter.”

Penelope reached out to poke it too.

Corbyn pointed to another one, “And that’s the Big Dipper constellation over here, making a little shape out of pretty stars.”

Clementine rushed over to see too, shouting an eager, “Can I see my sky now?”

“Okay.” Corbyn went back to the computer screen and typed in ‘January 1, 2019’. The screen flickered and shifted and revealed another array of stars and planets.

“Where’s Jupiter for mine?” Clementine asked loudly, tugging at the side of Corbyn’s white lab coat. He took her across the small room to point out the planet and a few constellations too. Penelope was still in his arms, scratching her little finger over the letters of his name etched into his lab coat, her head resting against his.

“Why don’t we move on to look at something else?” Corbyn suggested, reaching his free hand up to rub over Penelope’s back. She nodded.

He showed them the display of space rocks, crouching down to set Penelope on the ground and let her reach into the case to touch one. She ran her hand over it shyly before quickly pulling back and smiling bashfully up at Corbyn. Clementine rushed over too, weaseling her way in to see the rocks, nearly shoving her sister in the process.

“Hey, Clementine Ophelia, no pushing.” Daniel scolded lightly.

Penelope only frowned, sticking close to Corbyn as he shared a bit of information about the table they were at. He always had too many facts to share and at work it was his perfect excuse to use them. Florence and Daniel glanced at the few rocks displayed through the glass case.

Florence chuckled lightly, pointing to a small one as she whispered to Daniel, “That’s how big our baby is right now.”

Daniel only smiled, pulling her close and pressed a kiss to her cheek, setting his hand over the swell of her stomach.

Their moment was interrupted by Penelope bursting into tears. The parents looked over quickly to where Clementine had pushed her way between her little sister and Corbyn, which displeased Penelope greatly.

“Share.” Clementine snapped at her, tucking her arm around Corbyn’s leg as he stood, surprised.

“Yes, you do need to share.” Daniel said, holding his hand out to his eldest. “Come walk with Daddy, okay?”

Clementine frowned at him but stomped over, letting her sister have priority with Corbyn. The eldest sister scowled as Corbyn scooped up Penelope again and she quieted down nearly right away. He reached into his coat pocket with his free hand and pulled out a planet shaped sticker, holding it out to the little girl in his arms.

“A sticker to dry your tears?” he offered.

Penelope grinned and took it from him with a whispered, “Thank you.”

Clementine’s frown deepened until Corbyn reached into his pocket again and pulled out another sticker to hand over to her.

“Did you think I’d forget about the big sister?” Corbyn tisked, smiling sweetly as Clementine beamed and grabbed it from him.

“What do you say?” Florence said, tugging lightly at her daughter’s thin ponytail.

“Thank you.” Clementine mumbled, smiling down at her sticker before holding it up to her sister in Corbyn’s arms to show off, “Ha-ha! Mine’s bigger!”

#anything but mine #corbyn besson #daniel seavey #why dont we #corbyn besosn imagines #daniel seavey imagines

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jabbajambler · 4 years

Text

Human

The Mandalorian/Din Djarin x f!OC

Word Count: 2,110

*GIF by @godohammers*

Mando insisted that we had to leave and find a new planet to hide out on, but that was ridiculous. This is a big planet, we could easily find a spot away from Cara and not get in her way. Besides, I wasn't ready to leave just yet.

"Just where exactly do you propose we go?" I shouted and followed him as he walked around the ship. He was so stubborn and stuck in his ways. He wouldn't even listen to what I had to say.

"I don't know." He mumbled, his back facing me as he continued his trek around the ship. It was simply busy work to try and brush me off.

My face was growing red from anger, burning my skin. We had been arguing about this for nearly an hour and I was sick and tired of him ignoring me.

"Mando, stop and talk to me!"

I reached out and grabbed his wrist, tugging him back. I may have pulled him harder than I meant to because I certainly didn't expect him to spin around with such force.

His body pushed mine back and we both stood, pressed against the wall of the ship with his helmet only a few inches from my face. We both took in a sharp breath as we looked at one another. At least, that's what I could assume.

My fingers were still wrapped tight around his wrist while his other hand stabilized himself on the ship. Our breathing fell in sync, our chests so close that if we had both taken a deep enough breath, they would have touched. Neither one of us made any effort to move or made any sound, but I assumed we were thinking the same thing.

It was strange to be so close, but at the same time, it was natural. His body was warm and I could smell the leather of his gloves mixed with a subtle pine that I assumed was from the trees.

"We-" My voice was breathy and quiet. "We need to make a plan before we just take off."

"We do..." His voice trailed off into silence. The sound of insects buzzing filled the dimly lit area.

My harsh glare softened and I lifted my free hand to his chest plate, running my fingers over the handcrafted lines.

"Mando, I-"

"Excuse me." A voice spoke up from the trees.

"Excuse me, sir." Another voice perked up.

We practically jumped at the sound of the strangers voices. Mando stepped a few feet away from me, brushing off...whatever just happened.

"There- uh- there something I can help you with?" He stumbled out his words before facing the ship again, messing with a few random stray wires. I must say, him stuttering was something I never expected to hear.

"Uh, yeah. Raiders." The first one spoke again, moving closer to us. Once in the light, I could finally get a good look at them. They looked naive and dressed in an assortment of blue garments.

Farmers was my guess.

"We have money."

"So, you think I'm some kinda mercenary?" Mando's voice was harsh and guarded.

"Actually we think you're both mercenaries."

My eyebrows raised as I turned to face the farmers with my arms crossed. Mercenaries? That's a funny joke. We were hardly hunters anymore.

"You're wearing Mandalorian armor. That is Mandalorian armor, right?" The farmer spoke, approaching Mando again while he focused on the ship.

"It is." He grumbled and began walking towards me. I flashed him a sly grin, trying to hold back a laugh as he tried to get rid of the two.

"Ah, a man of few words." I teased.

He walked closer to me, practically cornering me against the wall again. His helmet lowered to meet my face, causing my breath to hitch in my throat. Now it made sense when everyone spoke about his 'intimidating presence.'

"Watch it." He whispered harshly, only for me to hear.

"Sir, I've read a lot about your people- er- uh...Tribe." The farmers persisted, chasing Mando as he walked away from me. "If half of what I read is true-"

"We have money."

"How much?" I perked up as soon as I had collected my nerves and walked towards the three.

"Everything we have, ma'am." The farmer spoke, his eyes dancing over me. If I wasn't interested in the money, I swear I would have knocked him so hard his head would spin. "Our whole harvest was stolen."

"How upsetting." I spoke with a hint of sarcasm to my voice.

"Our whole village chipped in." His voice was desperate as he frantically held out a small pouch of credits towards me. It was hardly enough for rations.

I glanced at the farmer's face, then at the pouch, cocking an eyebrow and tilting my head. "You really think that's enough?"

"You don't even know what the job is." The farmers pleaded.

I shrugged. "I've done worse for a lot more than that." I sent a wink to the farmers with a smirk growing on my face.

I could feel Mando's eyes staring down at me. I hoped that he wasn't planning on asking any questions about that later. That was something I definitely did not want to talk about with him.

"This is everything we have. We'll give you more after the next harvest-"

The ramp hissed loudly as it lowered to the ground. Mando stood by the controls, staring down the farmers. I didn't want to leave and while they didn't have the funds, I had hoped that maybe these farmers could offer us something, some reason to stay here.

"Took us the whole day to get here. Now we have to ride back with no protection to the middle of nowhere." The farmers mumbled.

There it was.

Both of us froze and turned at those words. I could feel the corners of my mouth lift into another smile.

"Where do you live?" Mando spoke, his voice lifting in borderline enthusiasm.

"On a farm. Weren't you listening?"

"In the middle of nowhere?" I practically skipped down the ramp, stopping in front of the wide-eyed farmers.

"Yes." One said, looking me over again. At this point, I didn't even care.

"And a place for us to stay?" My voice was becoming more chirper the more they spoke about this oasis of a place. I was overjoyed that we wouldn't have to leave.

"Yeah. Absolutely!"

"You can stay with m-"

"Good." Mando interrupted. "Come up and help." He led them up into the Razor Crest to gather supplies.

I could not wipe the smile off of my face. We were staying and things between Mando and I were improving. This planet would work in our favor.

┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉┉

I couldn't decide whether recruiting Cara would be a really good or really bad idea. On one hand, she would be a great help in fighting off whatever raiders there were, but on the other hand, weren't we about to leave the planet because we didn't want to draw in too much attention?

It's likely just a couple of pirates and these farmers couldn't defend themselves. At least, that's what I hoped it was. Anything more and we'd be screwed.

We slowly approached a small fire within the trees, hoping that it was Cara. Who else would be crazy enough to sleep out in the middle of nowhere except for an ex-rebel fighter.

She leaned against a tree with her eyes shut in what appeared to be a peaceful sleep. I think Mando and I both knew better than to assume she let her guard down. He tossed the pouch of credits next to her, causing her to point her blaster in our direction with her eyes narrowed.

"Ready for round two?" Mando joked.

Cara looked down at the pouch with a grin before she stood and stomped out the fire while we explained what we were doing. We led her towards the slightly crowded speeder that the farmers offered.

Unfortunately, it was all we had.

Mando and I kept to one side of the speeder while Cara rested against the other. Our faces were lit by a small yellow light that was swarmed with bugs buzzing around. For a while, everyone was quiet, embracing the wonderful silence of the forest.

"So, we're basically running off a band of Raiders for lunch money?" Cara chuckled.

"They're quartering us in the middle of nowhere." Mando's tired voice spoke, his modulator emphasizing his exhaustion.

I shrugged and leaned back against the edge of the speeder. "Pretty sure that's a sweet deal for someone in your shoes...Certainly beats a patch of ground in the middle of the forest."

"Worst case scenario, you tune up your blaster. Best case, we're a deterrent. I can't imagine there's anything living in these trees that an ex-shock trooper couldn't handle."

Cara turned towards Mando with a slight smirk as he relaxed, stretching his arms over the back of the vehicle. His fingers brushed against my shoulder which caused me to tense and sit up. He probably didn't even know they were there.

Mando's heavy head eventually shifted onto my shoulder, but I figured it was best not to wake him despite the numbing feeling that took over my arm. I stared up at the stars, trying to figure out the constellations and the stories he had told me days ago.

It was crazy how much had happened in just a few days.

Cara and I sat in silence for about an hour, simply enjoying the slow trip. I could feel her piercing gaze on me, nearly suffocating me in the eerie silence.

"So. How long have you and him been..." She trailed off, trying to lead me into an answer.

A warmth flooded by face at her insinuation. Mando and I? Did she think we were together? Part of me wanted to laugh.

"We're not." I chuckled, trying to keep quiet to not wake Mando or the child. "We're hardly partners. We just travel together, I guess."

"You guess?"

"Well, we kinda got in a little argument. I don't think he's gotten over it yet."

Cara laughed and gestured towards his slouched form that pressed against me. "Looks like he has to me."

I rolled my eyes and glanced over at him, trying to hide the smile that appeared when he was near. It was rare to see him so unguarded and at ease, but it was nice.

"So you raise a kid together?" Cara settled her laughs and looked at me with a cocked brow.

"We kind of stole it, actually."

She chuckled again and shook her head. "And you really aren't anything more?"

"Oh, Kriff, I haven't thought about something like that in a long time." I giggled. My stomach grew queasy when the heat returned to my cheeks. "Even if I did, he's a Mandalorian. Those sorts of relationships are very difficult."

"You sound like you speak from experience."

The sick feeling in my stomach grew along with a lump forming in my throat. This was all very 'girl-talk' and it made me squirm.

"Sort of, I guess. It was a brief thing, but it was hard. You know, the 'can't show your face' thing and all that. It makes relationships difficult."

She hummed and nodded, going quiet for another few seconds. It made me extremely uncomfortable to sit with my own words weighing down on me.

"So, he's a good guy though?" She looked over at Mando with a raised brow.

"Yeah..." I smiled, shifting closer to his warm body. "Yeah, he is."

Cara nodded again and leaned against the wall, drifting to sleep. I couldn't look away from Mando's helmet. The light reflected off of it beautifully and cast unique shadows over the beskar.

Looking at him like this, I began wondering what he actually looked like under the helmet. I knew he was tan, I remembered that from when I helped him with his arm on Arvala-7, but what color were his eyes? His hair? Was it messy from always being covered by the helmet? Or did he keep it groomed when I wasn't around.

Were his eyes a brilliant shade of blue that resembled the seas? Or possibly a deep green similar to the trees and nature around us? Maybe they were even a rich brown with swirls of orange and gold like the rising suns on Tatooine.

I could feel a flutter in my stomach as I crept deeper in my thoughts. I shook them off and rested my head against his, trying desperately to fall asleep without thinking of what his face might look like.

#the mandalorian #the mandalorian x oc #mandalorian #mandalorian x oc #din djarin #din djarin x oc #dyn jarren #jedi #oc #star wars #pedro pascal #pedro pascal characters #babyyoda

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holy-honeybees · 4 years

Text

Snowdrift

AO3

Rating: T+ (for swearing)

Summary: Three friends and their dog get lost in a snowstorm while investigating the paranormal. Amidst swirling flurries of white, some lose their way and get lost in their memories, others lose sight of their friends and loved ones, and an unforgiving winter quickly fills in the footprints one would follow to get back home.

A/N: I started this back in November 2019 but sadly never finished the work. I was thinking of holding off till it started to snow again, but figured now was as good a time as any to try and finish this.The title is taken from Snail's House song "[snowdrift]" which you can check out here!

My hopes of having a regular posting schedule were completely dashed by the disaster that is the year 2020. But I’m still here, I’m still writing, and though I don’t know when the next chapter will be, I know there will be another. Beware that from here on, there may be some slight SPOILERS for the latest MSA video, “The Future!” If you haven’t already watched it though, you absolutely should, it was amazing, and the whole team who worked on it are all so talented!!

Previous Chapter | Next Chapter

Chapter One

Chapter Seven

Lewis glanced behind him to watch as Vivi and Mystery disappeared into the woods, the flashlight beam wavering as his friends passed behind trees and headed deeper into the forest. His own fluorescence gave the surrounding snowdrifts a soft, pink glow, illuminating his path as he headed along where he guessed the road to be under the thick blanket of snow. The ghost fought the urge to turn around and check on Vivi and Mystery again, knowing if he gave in now he wouldn’t be able to stop himself from watching until the last glimmer of their flashlight faded from view. It wasn’t that he didn’t trust them to take care of themselves. He knew how fearsome Mystery could be, even after his injury, and though Vivi was frustrated by her lack of mastery over magic, she’d taken to it readily. If her friends were in danger, Lewis knew nothing would stop her, magic or no. It was just hard for him to give up old habits. He couldn’t help but think of being the protector as his role in the group, especially after so many years of Arthur hiding behind him. Despite his size, Lewis had never been much of a fighter when he was alive. He’d always relied on his height and broad shoulders to intimidate, whether it was Arthur’s high school bullies or whatever monster of the week had decided to pick a fight with them. His death had surprisingly come with a few benefits, the supernatural speed at which he now travelled being just one of them. Already he had come to the bend in the road where their near miss had occurred just days ago, the guardrail and sign warped out of place from the impact with the van. Lewis ran his hand along the arrow on the sign, brushing loose snow to the ground.

It was hard to believe that they had been having snowball fights and drinking hot cocoa just the other day. The snow which had once been so entrancing to him now seemed ominous and deadly, the winter wonderland having transformed into a frozen wasteland. Lewis suppressed a shiver. He shouldn’t have been able to feel the freezing temperatures, but the cold gnawed at his bones nonetheless. He was reminded of the walk-in freezer at the Pepper Paradiso. Once, while he’d still been in high school, Lewis had accidentally locked himself in the walk-in at the restaurant. He’d only been stuck for about fifteen minutes, but the cold had seemed unbearable for even that short amount of time. He’d been lucky that Ma and Pa Pepper were so quick to get him out. He couldn’t get his teeth to stop chattering until his mom had fixed him up a special batch of her hot chocolate flavored with cinnamon and cayenne pepper. Lewis remembered sitting in the dining area, cradling his mug of hot chocolate as his dad rubbed a hand up and down his arm to help warm him up. His mother had been livid and had immediately called the fridge manufacturer to demand they send someone to replace the faulty door release on the inside of the walk-in. Despite his parents’ best efforts, the chill hadn’t left him until late that night when he was curled up in bed, bundled in extra blankets.

Lewis wondered just how long Arthur had been gone before the others had discovered him missing. He feared that the mechanic had been gone too long already. He knew now just how fragile people were, and given Arthur’s tendency to stress himself out and forgo basic needs, he worried for the mechanic more than most. Shifting his focus from his worries to the task at hand, Lewis turned to search the expanse of snow surrounding him, trying to find a sign that the mechanic had been this way at all. Each direction looked the same as the others though. It was impossible to tell if it was because Lewis had picked the wrong way to go or if the belligerent snowfall had simply covered Arthur’s tracks. Without any kind of path to follow, Lewis picked a direction at random. Phasing through the twisted metal of the guardrail, he sped away from the road into the snowy fields beyond to continue his search. The plains the ghost now flew over were as flat and empty as the rest of the landscape had been. Lewis hoped it would make the mechanic easy to spot, even with the moon covered by clouds and the thick snowfall still coming down. The snow in the distance went almost blue with shadows, but if he passed close enough to the mechanic, the ghost was sure he would recognize the bright orange color his friend so frequently wore.

“Arthur!” Lewis called. The snow on the ground muffled his shout, and the lowly moaning winds quickly drowned out the remaining sound. Still, Lewis couldn’t help but feel disappointed when he received no response. The spirit pushed onwards, constantly scanning his surroundings for a glimpse of familiar orange amidst all the white. As he rushed further away from the road to continue his search for Arthur, Lewis was struck with a sense of déjà vu. For a moment, he could have sworn that the snowy landscape had shifted, changing from a seemingly barren tundra to a familiar hallway, lined with portraits and doors that looped back in on each other in impossible patterns. The stripes in the wallpaper blurred together as he flew by, hunting down the scrawny mechanic that had betrayed him.

“Arthur!” the ghost bellowed.

Lewis skidded to an abrupt halt, shocked by the wrathful tone of his own voice. As he looked around again, he was back in the snowy field that lay beyond the bend in the road, no haunted mansion in sight. Just an endless, featureless white landscape. It had all been so real, the desire to find Arthur and punish him so strong, that for a moment Lewis had forgotten where he was. He’d forgotten himself and had lost the careful control he had on his anger. Even now that the specter had forgiven Arthur and come to peace with his own demise, the rage never seemed to go away. It was always simmering just below the surface, waiting for him to slip up and boil over. Afterall, it wasn’t just his attachment to Vivi that had brought him back, but his desire for vengeance as well. This anger was a part of him now, as much as he hated it, as much as he was afraid of it. Normally he kept it buried deep, able to force it back down whenever it reared its ugly head. He hadn’t felt such an intense flare of rage in months, and his fury had never boiled over without any provocation before. The imagined cold that had seeped into his bones was now completely burned out, the golden locket that served as his anchor thrumming with anger.

Did he really still hate his friend so much?

Lewis shook his skull back and forth, his hair flickering wildly at the movement. He had to keep it together. He thought back to all the late night conversations with Arthur that had helped to keep his loneliness at bay over the last few months. How before the cave, they would camp out on top of the van and look at the stars, guessing at the names of constellations, the mechanic at ease enough to fill the silence with idle chatter about science fiction and space travel. He remembered how his friend had helped him study for the law school he’d hoped to get into, shuffling through stacks of flash cards filled with legal jargon over milkshakes at the restaurant. Teenage years spent at each other’s houses, sleepovers filled with binge watching Sailor Moon andsuffering through Surf’s Up Pizza because he knew how much Arthur liked it. The only kid in middle school who had readily accepted that Lewis hadn’t been a part of the Pepper household up until the day he was.

The ghost put a hand to his anchor, willing himself to calm down as he wrapped his fingers around the heart-shaped locket. He didn’t hate Arthur. At least, not anymore. Facing down a murderous, possessed kitsune together hadn’t magically spirited away the hurt Lewis had felt. His behavior towards Arthur had ranged from cold to cruel in the first couple of months following their reunion. During one disastrous case, it had gotten bad enough that the mechanic had almost walked away from the Mystery Skulls for good. While on an investigation out of town, Lewis had lost his tenuous grip on his temper and had blown up at the mechanic to a nuclear degree. Arthur had fled, even leaving his precious van behind, determined to hitchhike his way back home to Tempo. Mystery had tried to talk the mechanic out of it, but Vivi had ended up having to drag Arthur away from the roadside herself. With the mechanic refusing to talk, the blue-haired girl had resorted to taking him to a bar and had plied him with alcohol to get him to open up. Arthur had finally broken down into a blubbering mess after several drinks. Once their tab had been paid and the mechanic tucked away safely in the back of the van to sleep it off, Vivi had tracked down Lewis to give the ghost a piece of her mind with a stern lecture that Ma Pepper would have been proud of. While she was sympathetic to the ghost’s position, she reminded him that it wasn’t really Arthur who had pushed him off the cliff, and that the mechanic had been devastated and desperate to find Lewis after he’d gone missing. Vivi also pointed out it wasn’t fair to force her to choose between the faithful friend she’d had by her side over the past year and someone she had only just started to remember having loved. Faced with the prospect of tearing the Mystery Skulls apart and driving away the people he cared about, the ghost had begrudgingly agreed to try and put the past behind him.

With the winter winds swirling around him, Lewis could feel the beating of the heart in his hand slow to a steady thump, thump, thump as he reminisced. Things had been hard at first. The smallest of slights irked the ghost, and it took tremendous concentration to think before he snapped. He had still failed on occasion, with his only choice then being to leave his friends behind while he cooled off. Little by little though, he was able to box up his resentment and pack it away, having a much easier time dealing with it in smaller pieces. He then found he could control his anger, and even if it had become a part of him, it didn’t have to control him. Talking with Mystery had helped. The kitsune had centuries of life experience to draw from, and was more than happy to offer advice or just sit back and listen when Lewis needed him to. Vivi was just as willing to help, but couldn’t always stop herself from offering up ideas and solutions when Lewis talked about his problems. Sometimes it was nice to have someone to just listen without interruption. With time, practice, and help from his friends, the ghost was finally able to be around Arthur again, and being around his former friend reminded Lewis of why they had been friends in the first place. After a while, he found he actually liked being around Arthur, even in their new circumstances. He wanted to try and be friends again, but there had been so much to remedy between them. It had taken a long time for the mechanic to let his guard down around the ghost, not that Lewis could blame him. When he finally did, they had slowly begun to mend their friendship, but something was still missing. Lewis struggled at times to keep his distance, not wanting the mechanic to feel uncomfortable or threatened by his presence after so much bad blood between them. He waited respectfully for Arthur to bridge the gap, but, even now, the mechanic still seemed wary of him. Lewis had to wonder if his friend just needed more time or if he’d irreparably broken something between them. The ghost would never forgive himself if he’d missed his chance to fix things. Lewis looked at the locket in his hand and flipped it open. Eyes unclouded by anger, he could clearly see the picture of the four of them it contained. Together, just the way they should be.

All he wanted now was his best friend back.

Lewis heaved a sigh, closing the locket again as he prepared to continue his search. The sight of the golden heart had given him an idea. Concentrating, the spirit summoned his coffin, the dark lacquered wood standing out against the snow. The casket lid sprung open to reveal six purple-colored spirits, each adorned with a small golden heart of their own. The Dead Beats immediately poured out of the coffin, winding around Lewis’s shoulders and bumping up against his shins. Vivi had been enthralled to be able to study the small ghosts up close once they’d been formally introduced. According to Mystery, they were weaker spirits drawn to Lewis’s power, feeding on his cast-off energy. The kitsune had assured the Mystery Skulls that they weren’t some kind of paranormal parasite though, and no harm would come to Lewis from their presence. It was a symbiotic relationship, and while there was no direct benefit to him, Lewis did find he enjoyed their company. They reminded him of affectionate cats sometimes. Especially with the way they rubbed against his legs, humming instead of purring, as they did now.

“I’m happy to see you too,” Lewis said earnestly, patting at one of the little specters’ heads, “But right now I need your help. Can you do something for me?”

The Dead Beats harmonized in a way he knew meant ‘yes’.

“Good,” he replied, “Arthur is missing. I need you to split up and help me look for him. If you find him, come tell me where he is right away. Can you do that?”

Another affirmative humming sound.

“Thank you! Please, go as quick as you can!” Lewis set about pointing each of the Dead Beats in a different direction, one of them doubling back to see if Arthur had travelled further along the road Lewis had left behind. The others fanned out through the field to cover more ground and expand their search radius. Lewis watched as they took off in every direction, zipping over the snowbanks as they began to search for the mechanic. Satisfied, he continued forwards on the path he’d chosen for himself. There were now six extra sets of eyes looking for the lost mechanic. Lewis only hoped that if one of them did find Arthur, they wouldn’t try to play any tricks on him. The Dead Beats had quite a mischievous streak, with Arthur being the favorite target of their practical jokes and pranks. Having the extra help in his search was a huge relief, but Lewis knew he wouldn’t truly feel at ease until his friend had been safely recovered.

Please don’t let me be too late…to find him…to fix things.

There was still so much Lewis wanted to say. They never talked about that night in the cave, and though sometimes Lewis felt that they didn’t have to, he did wonder if it would help. He hoped he would get the chance to find out. While Lewis had calmed himself considerably, his worried thoughts still tumbled about like a brewing storm as he continued the search for his missing friend. He ignored that, deep beneath the hopes and fears he felt, a spark of anger was still burning in his chest, refusing to go out.

#mystery skulls animated #msa #msa fanfic #mystery skulls animated fanfic #arthur #lewis #vivi #mystery #arthur kingsmen #lewis pepper #vivi yukino #Snowdrift

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myuntoldstory · 4 years

Text

Mystic Messenger | Champagne

AO3 | FF.net

Final prompt of Jihyun Week: Birthday

This is not an entry to Jihyun Week 2020. I'm basically just trying to finish the series I created in AO3.

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: V | Jihyun Kim/Main Character

Warning: N/A

Word Count: 4, 656

Summary: “You are a miracle, Kim Jihyun.”

It's Jihyun's first birthday after his return. To celebrate, the members throw a charity party for him. As the after-party rages on, he steps out to get some rest. His beloved, Lux, joins him. A romantic moment follows, making him grateful for his existence in the universe.

Champagne

Out on the balcony, Jihyun sits on one of the chairs.

Behind him, through the glass doors, the after-party is in full swing. It is past midnight; the party guests have left hours ago. The members, however, are keen to keep the good mood going… as well as finish every single bottle of alcohol supplied. Jihyun smiles at Hyun’s voice—clear, soulful, and smooth. The musical actor sings one Broadway song after another. Enthusiastic cheers greet every powerful note he belts out; there’s always one that’s the loudest out of all of them. Undoubtedly, they belong to Jaehee.

With a deep sigh, Jihyun lets the exhaustion of the day wash over him. His time away had eroded some of his stamina. Before, he would’ve remained inside and continued to enjoy the festivities. Now… he feels like an empty gas tank. A refuel is what he needs. After some time to himself he should be ready to head back. Although… he feels a little guilty for ducking out. After all, the members worked so hard to organise this party for his homecoming and his birthday…

And Lux…

Jihyun smiles.

Lux, his beloved, worked especially hard. From caring for the guests to the logistics, she exerted all her effort. Jihyun feels a surge of pride for her. On the outside, party planning seems simple, but it is an involved affair. Today, from the moment she arrived, Lux had not stopped working. Even in the days leading to… she divided her time equally between her job and being the party coordinator. After all that, she still found time for him. It was exhausting work, but she never dropped her smile or dimmed her cheerfulness. Calling her an inspiration is an understatement.

As he left for some solitude he found her having fun with the kids, messing around with the helium balloons. It was his intention to bring her along with him, to spend time alone, but he decided to leave her be. After everything that had happened, out of everyone in this place, she’s the one who deserves to have the most fun.

Relaxing against the chair, Jihyun crosses his legs and taps his foot in time with the music. He tips up his head, gazing at the star-speckled sky. This moment feels romantic thanks to Hyun singing in the background. How he wishes his beloved is beside him. The night has its own serenade of the wind and cries of nocturnal creatures. Somehow, it harmonises with the melodies coming from inside.

At this time, Seoul is in slumber, but the city remains alight. The sky is an inky expanse of midnight blue, occasionally glittering with stars. How fortunate that he can still make out some constellations. During his travels, he had the chance to glimpse the Milky Way. The tapestry of the night was so dense with stars that it brought tears to his eyes. They were beautiful, those places… even transcendent. However, it’s not as comforting as the sparse skies here.

It really does feel good to be home.

“Kim Jihyun!”

The sound of heels clicking across the floor alerts him. Before he can do anything a pair of arms appear from behind him. They close around his shoulders and hold him tight against the back of the chair. Suddenly, something warm nuzzles against the side of his neck. A wet, open-mouthed kiss presses into his sensitive skin, making him gasp.

“Lux,” he breathes, clearing his throat. “Darling…”

“You’re here!” she cries, voice muffled. “I’m so relieved!”

“Of course I’m here, my love…”

Jihyun brings his hand up, gently petting her hair as he kisses the side of her head. His beloved tightens her hold. Whining, she presses her face harder against him. Concern wells up within him as he hears the unmistakable sound of her sniffling. He rubs her arms with his other hand, attempting to console her. The desire to help her overwhelms him, but he doesn’t know where to start.

“What’s wrong? What do you need?”

“I thought you left!” she exclaims. “I panicked!”

“Me? Leave? I wouldn’t dare.” He kisses her again. “Not without you.”

“Aw, you are so nice!”

Lux presses close to him, as if she’s trying to eliminate as much space as possible. Jihyun sucks in a breath, shivers running throughout his body as she brushes against a sensitive spot. Lips pressing hard together, he turns his face away to hide the blush blooming across his cheeks. Then, he closes his eyes as every muscle in his body tenses. She’s moving her mouth, now caressing that very same spot again and again.

It takes him seconds to realise she’s actually talking…

Or… well, rambling…

“… Nicest, kindest, goodest man I’ve ever known. Like you’re sooo nice! Really nice! Like, super nice! You’re kinder than the kindest person on earth! You are so good it really drives me crazy! I just want to put you in my pocket and cherish you!"

Her words, passionate and half-wailed, make his face burn hotter. Eyes wide, he turns to her. At the same time, she lifts her head and looks at him. In that moment, everything makes sense. She’s dazed. Her face is a bright, traffic light red. There’s also a distinct glassiness in her eyes—the classic look of someone who had one too many drinks. Yet, the tears clinging to her lashes are real… so are her words.

If they are born out of drunkenness then he’s relieved…

“Thank you,” he says, chuckling. “I appreciate that very much.”

It seems his words touch Lux. Tears well in her eyes, but they don’t fall. Her lower lip trembles as she sobs. Then, making a happy noise, she squeezes her cheek against his. Jihyun chortles, wincing slightly when she rubs against his face with force. He caresses her arms again, this time with affection.

“You are so cute!” she nearly squeals. “So nice! So cute! So—whoa!”

“Watch out!”

The chair almost topples as Lux loses her balance, stumbling with a giggle. Jihyun plants his feet on the floor to steady them. At the same time, he holds onto her arms to keep her from falling. He waits for her to straighten, keeping his hold firm, but not so tight that it hurts her. Once he’s certain that she’s no longer in danger, he takes her hands and guides her to the chair next to him.

“Sit down, darling,” he says. “You’ll be more comfortable—!”

Lux plops on his lap, knocking the air out of him.

“You’re right,” she laughs. “This is definitely—!”

Lux yelps as Jihyun wraps one arm around her back and the other under her knees. In one, smooth motion he pulls her tight against him. This causes the hem of her dress to hike dangerously high up. So, he pulls it down to cover her thighs, smiling mysteriously when Lux faces him in shock. It could be the dim light, but somehow her face looks redder. The colour calls for his caress, but he restrains himself.

“Is this okay?” he says. “I have to ensure you’re seated properly.”

“I… yes…”

His beloved seems to be in a stupor. Jihyun seizes the chance to wrap his arms around her waist and hold her tight against him.

“This is so you don’t slip off,” he explains.

His beloved doesn't say a word. Jihyun regards her, wondering if he's gone too far. Then, to his surprise, she loops her arms around his neck and hugs him tight. She knocks the air out of him a second time. Still, he's happy to return the gesture. The tempo of his heartbeat picks up at their closeness. He can feel every rise and fall of her chest, the warmth of her breath over his ear.

“You are so thoughtful!” she wails. “I really, really like you!”

The words set his poor cheeks, which have never recovered, aflame.

How has he not spontaneously combusted yet?

Still, he smiles. “You’re more thoughtful than me—”

“No!”

Lux pushes away from him. Then, using both hands, she squeezes his cheeks together. With a little pressure, she coaxes him to look up at her. Jihyun blinks, eyes wide in wonder. His beloved has a petulant expression on her face. Added with a rather pronounced pout, she looks quite youthful and innocent. His heart twinges, a strange sensation of pleasure and pain mixed together. Right now she's... utterly adorable. Of course, she's always cute, but in that moment... she's more so—in a way that words cannot describe. He feels it within himself, the way his chest feels tight like it's on the verge of exploding. It flusters him; he doesn't know what to do.

Oh… well, no…

He does know… what he wants to do…

To kiss the pout from her lips…

That’s his desire.

Before he can act on it, though, Lux leans in until their noses brush together.

“Don’t argue,” she scolds, narrowing her eyes.

“My love—”

“Don’t argue.”

“Okay,” Jihyun chuckles. “I won’t… thank you very much.”

Giggling, she beams. She relaxes her hold, now cupping his cheeks and caressing them with her thumbs.

“Good boy,” she says. “I’ll give you a reward.”

Jihyun feigns a look of surprise and points at himself.

“Me?”

“Yes! What do you want?”

Humming loudly, he tilts his head and looks to the sky. Though he wants to play along, he desires no reward from her. His beloved is no object or possession, yet she is the best reward he can ever hope for. With her in his life, it’s impossible to ask for anything more. As he gazes back at her, smiling at her cute expression, his eyes dart to her lips. An idea occurs to him.

“A kiss, then,” he says.

She frowns. “What? That’s it?”

He holds onto her hands and leans into her touch.

“Darling,” he murmurs. “Your kiss is all the reward I ever want.”

Lux’s eyes widen before she snorts and giggles. “Kim Jihyun…”

“Yes, my love?”

“The way you talk sometimes… you’re like Prince Charming.”

“Is that a bad thing?” he chuckles.

“Absolutely, it is,” she says, deadpan. “I get shy when you do that and I have to work up the nerve to do things. Do you know how hard it is? To want to kiss someone, but also feeling all embarrassed about it? It is hard, Kim Jihyun—super hard.”

She’s being honest again. Now, she’s got him feeling shy himself. Still, he continues to gaze at her, unwilling to miss even a second of this. He waits for her, heart fluttering like a hummingbird’s wings. Then, she leans in closer. Instinctively, he closes his eyes. To his surprise, he receives a big kiss on his cheek instead. Opening his eyes, Jihyun catches a glimpse of Lux’s lashes as she leans in again, this time kissing his other cheek. When she presses another on the tip of his nose he can’t help grinning.

“Lux,” he chastises, playful. “This is not what I meant.”

“Oh, dear,” she says innocently, kissing his temples. “I’m so sorry. I thought this is what you want—you said you wanted kisses, right? I’m giving you kisses… what kind of kiss did you mean?”

His beloved kisses his forehead. Then she peppers a few more on his face before venturing down along his jaw... and then underneath. Jihyun shivers when she reaches his neck. This game has become dangerous. Her teasing pecks provoke a desire within him—one that is inappropriate to act on a balcony, in the open, with their friends having oblivious fun a short distance away. He takes her wrists, pulling her towards him. Without missing a beat, he presses their lips together. In his hands she stills with a gasp, delighting him.

"Kim Jihyun," she mumbles after he pulls away. "You are sneaky."

"Oh, yes," he quips. "But I'm not sorry."

"Good."

They lean towards each other, sharing in their amusement and joy. Jihyun brings her hands to his lips, returning her kisses by pressing a few across her knuckles. Then, he reaches up to brush stray strands of hair away from her face, cupping and caressing her cheek. This sort of playfulness is something they haven't explored together before. He finds himself enjoying every detail of this moment. Not that he’ll ever be glad of her intoxication, but right this moment a small part of him is glad that she’s drunk. Otherwise, he wouldn’t see this side of her.

“I must say,” he whispers, “you are cute drunk.”

His beloved makes a noise of disapproval.

“I’m not drunk, Kim Jihyun,” she says. “I’m tipsy—there’s a difference.”

There it is again, that petulant expression. It makes laughter bubble up from his chest and spill from his lips. The outrage that she shows him next makes him laugh more. But he can see it. Lux is serious about him understanding the specifications of her current state. Clearing his throat, he nods, schooling his expression to that of contrition.

“I’m sorry, darling,” he says. “Of course you are.”

“Can I tell you a secret?”

He blinks at the sudden change in subject, but takes it in stride.

“A secret?”

“Yeah—no one knows about it… but I think it’s okay to tell you.”

With a smile, he sits back to get a proper look at her. He winds his arms around her waist again, holding her close as she leans against him with her hands on his chest.

“I’d love to know,” he says. “Please tell me.”

Lux grins. “I know my constellations.”

He chuckles. “Do you? Would you like to name some for me?”

“Yes!”

She turns to the skies. Jihyun tightens his hold around her, keeping her snug against him. With his smile widening, he perches his chin on her shoulder and leans his head against hers. She lifts one hand and points. He follows her finger with his gaze as she traces a wide 'M' shape between almost invisible stars.

“There’s… Cassiopeia,” she says.

Jihyun closes his eyes for a second, heart swelling with affection. This tone... he recognises it. He heard it just the once, when he visited her at her work. It's gentle, soothing... perfect for educating and guiding inquisitive minds. Opening his eyes, he squeezes her as she continues to trace the shapes and give name to them.

“On the top right is Cepheus. Below are bits of Andromeda… and then to the left is Perseus…”

She lowers her hand and smiles at him.

“Cool, right?”

“Very cool,” he says, snuggling against her cheek. “My astronomer.”

Lux giggles, leaning her full weight against him. Silence falls between them as they immerse in this moment, wrapped in each other. As they watch the night sky the festivities continue behind them. Jihyun laces his fingers with Lux. Behind them, through the doors, are the noise of life. Shining beyond the balcony are the city lights, Seoul's very own stars. Surrounding him, giving him warmth, is his beloved—his heart, his angel.

This is it, he concludes.

Happiness.

Peace.

This is the culmination of those two years... of the trials that befell them in the years prior. This is what they fought for—what he worked so hard for. In the future, when these moments happen upon him again and again... he won't stain it with darkness. He'll be present, appreciative that he's alive to experience such wonderful things.

“You know how stars make up the constellations?”

Jihyun smiles at Lux’s voice, squeezing her gently.

“Yes.”

His beloved takes a deep breath.

"Those stars... the elements made them. Ancient elements, born from the core of an explosion that existed from nothing. When it happened they flew across the vast emptiness of space. It took a lot of years, but eventually, they came together to create... everything. From the constellations, galaxies, planets... to the oceans, mountains animals... even little things like paintbrushes, pianos... and then, of course, people like teachers, artists, kings... they're all made of the same stardust."

Jihyun listens as she speaks, enthralled by her words.

"Eventually, they came together to make you. It started billions of years ago when they created the earth... and everything it needed to make us. Somehow they made it so that on one specific day, on a specific time, to two specific parents... you were born. The universe, with its ancient stardust, made a place for you."

A lump forms in Jihyun’s throat as a contemplative chuckle escapes Lux's lips.

"What are the chances, right?" she continues. "For everything to be in the perfect place and time for you to exist—well, it's miraculous. You are a miracle, Kim Jihyun. There's no one like you; you're unique in every way. The stardust that created me is the same that created you, but... different, combined in one of the trillion other ways. There's only one you... and there will never be another."

Then, she turns to face him. His eyes widen. She’s smiling… but it’s so gentle, so tender that it takes his breath away. His chest twinges at the sight, painfully making him aware of just how much—how much he loves her. There's clarity in her eyes now. What she had said was no longer a ramble, but something that came from deep within her soul. The corners of his eyes feel wet; at the same time, hers begin to glisten.

“Lux…”

She leans forward until her forehead rests against his. She places her hands on either side of his face. She caresses with her thumbs, bringing forth emotions that threaten to overwhelm him. They're doing so right now, pushing at his throat and stinging the backs of his eyes. Swallowing hard, he gazes into her eyes.

"I guess with that longwinded speech," she says with a soft chuckle, "what I'm trying to say is that I am so, so glad that it's your birthday today. I'm glad you're born on this date all those years ago."

His lower lip trembles.

“I’m glad you’re here and alive,” she continues. “If you were gone… it would have been a loss… it would have been a waste…"

With that, tears finally escape from the corners of his eyes. The desire to be closer to her crashes over him. He draws her to him. His beloved wraps her arms around his neck, embracing him tightly as he moulds her against his body. A quiet sniffle escapes him as he pets the back of her head. What can he do for her? She has given him so much, but he has nothing that can ever repay it all. There is nothing of his that's worth her warm, selfless love. Even now... he's still uncertain whether he deserves something so precious. Yet, without a doubt, he's blessed for receiving it. This is a part of her that can hurt so easily... yet she gives it to him completely, with vulnerability. To him, who had hurt her before.

He doesn't want to hurt her ever again.

And because he loves her too... he doesn't want to reject this anymore.

“I’m so happy,” he whispers, closing his eyes as a few more teardrops fall. “I’m glad I’m alive. I don’t regret being here—with you, sharing this moment, hearing you say such words… receiving your love. I’m thankful that I’m with you… and my friends who care so much for me. What a blessing that impossible explosion was. If it hadn't happened, I wouldn't be here—you wouldn't... our friends wouldn't... we wouldn't be together like this... I wouldn’t have known such happiness…”

She laughs, joyous, sniffling and sobbing in between. “Good boy.”

Smiling, he kisses the shell of her ear as she ruffles his hair a bit.

“You’re very, very good—wow,” she says, surprised. “Your hair is soft—like, really, stupid soft. It’s softer than down feathers—no, wait, softer than rabbit fur! And rabbit fur is so soft!”

“Ah,” he chuckles at her abrupt change in subject again. “Is it really?”

“Yes!"

Lux ruffles his hair purposefully now, fingers running through the locks. Jihyun breathes deep, taking in fresh air and the perfumed scent of his beloved. He closes his eyes, concentrating on the way her curious gestures soothe him. After kissing her ear again, he relaxes against the chair as she continues to comb through his scalp.

“You have to tell me what conditioner you use,” she says.

He laughs. “You’re really cute drunk—”

“Kim Jihyun, what did I say?”

“Forgive me, my love—tipsy.”

“That’s right—ah!”

Jihyun jumps at his beloved’s loud outburst.

“Han Jumin!” Lux calls.

Jumin? Jihyun straightens and looks over the back of the chair. True enough, his best friend stands before the door, carrying a gift bag. Jumin stares at them with an impassive expression. For one whole minute, a rather strange silence falls between them. Then, without a word, Jumin turns on his heels and starts to walk back to the door. Unsurprised, Jihyun chuckles.

“Jumin—”

“Han Jumin, don’t run away!”

At Lux’s command, Jumin stops. He faces them again.

“Come here, come here!” she continues. “Help me up!”

“Oh, be careful, darling.”

Lux beckons Jumin with a wave of her hand and he approaches. Jihyun scoots forward, giving his beloved plenty of space as she wiggles around in an attempt to hop off. Jumin stops beside the chair in time, sticking out his hand for Lux to take as she gets off. Jihyun takes her other hand, helping steady her as she stands straight. With a loud word of thanks to both of them, she smooths down her dress.

“Are you going back?” Jihyun says, standing too.

“Yes.”

"Then, let me help you.”

"Okay,” she giggles. “But first—you, sit.”

Turning to Jumin, Lux reaches up, rising on her toes to hold onto his shoulders. The differences in their heights, for some reason, makes Jihyun want to laugh. He bites his lip to keep from making an unnecessary fuss. Instead, he keeps a watchful eye on his beloved, making sure that she doesn't stumble or hurt herself. She guides Jumin to the chair next to the one Jihyun previously occupied.

“Mr Best Friend,” she says. “Keep this wonderful man company, okay?”

“You’re drunk,” Jumin retorts flatly.

“Tipsy,” Jihyun corrects, smiling back at Lux when she beams at him.

“Also,” she says, “I’ve sobered up a little—watch.”

Now turning to Jihyun, Lux takes his hand, lacing her fingers through his. Jihyun shares a glance with Jumin, chuckling when she leads him to the doors. It should be the other way around, with him leading and helping her in case of accidents. But, somehow, as his beloved says, she seems to have sobered up. At the very least she's walking as steadily as any other sober person does. When they reach the doors they stop. Lux glances at Jumin, raising her brows. After a second or two of staring, Jumin turns his head away, but Jihyun catches one corner of his lips quirking up. Smiling, Jihyun turns to Lux as she faces him again.

“I’ll keep an eye on everyone,” she says, squeezing his hand.

“Please take care,” he says.

“I will.”

“And… perhaps it’s best to stop drinking…”

She giggles. “Don’t worry; I drank my last before I went to you.”

“I’m glad to hear that.”

Lux lifts their intertwined hands. A blush spreads across Jihyun’s face as she kisses his palm. With a parting smile, she turns to leave, but he finds himself unable to let go. She stops, turning back to him with a questioning look.

“Jihyun?”

He smiles at her.

"May I ask for one more kiss?”

She bites her lip with a chuckle. Even so, she closes the distance between them.

“You have to duck down a little,” she says.

He obeys, leaning towards her. Smiling, she rises on her toes and kisses him. He brings his hand to her cheek, caressing her. Carefully, he deepens the kiss. She clings to him, bringing their hands to her chest. The mad fluttering of her heart imprints itself on his skin. They immerse into this moment as they continue to kiss. Together, they share in this glorious miracle of existence, of being together.

“Happy birthday,” she murmurs after pulling away.

He kisses her forehead. “Thank you… for everything.”

“Of course—you two enjoy.”

And with that, he lets her go. The moment she opens the doors, she unleashes the cacophonous sounds that, amazingly, continue on despite the lateness of the hour. He watches her skip to Yoosung, enveloping him in a big hug. Everyone else then piles on in a group hug. Jaehee is the last to join, needing to be dragged in by Zen. Still, she's happy to put her arm around his back. Smiling, he walks back to Jumin.

“She consumed more than ten glasses of champagne,” he says.

Jihyun blinks before chuckling. “Is that so?”

“Before that, she and Zen were having a drinking contest of some kind.”

“Ah… yes, I saw,” he sighs lovingly. “Amazing, isn’t she?”

“Not as amazing as her ability to remain coherent after all that.”

"Yes, that too.”

“Now, I feel comfortable gifting her more than two bottles of wine.”

“… By that you mean you’ve been holding back before…?”

"If she cannot hold her alcohol then it is likely that she doesn't drink recreationally, yes?" Jumin says, opening the gift bag and producing two wine glasses. “If that is the case then giving more than two bottles will be a waste.”

“Right,” Jihyun chuckles. “Of course.”

“Anyway, enough about that.”

Jihyun watches as Jumin then produces a widely flared wine bottle. A glimpse of the parchment-coloured label brings a surprised smile to his face. Jumin remembers. A memory comes to him—ancient history now, but still… pleasant. They were in France… the three of them. He and Jumin sought out this specific bottle and upon finding it gazed at it with longing. Jumin wanted to buy it and drink it together... but for Jihyun it was so special that he wanted to consume it at a special event…

Like, say, during a certain wedding reception…

As it turns out fate has different plans for him.

Better plans.

“I thought we were saving this for a special occasion?” he says anyway.

“An occasion cancelled due to deceitful circumstances,” Jumin says flatly. “And what more special than your birthday? Your return and well-being? You finding the happiness that always eluded you in the past?”

“Still… it’s no wedding,” Jihyun jokes.

“No, it is not,” Jumin agrees, popping the cork.

“But…?”

“Against the day that marks your coming into existence? It does not compare, Jihyun.”

Taken aback, he can’t help grinning at Jumin’s candidness. First Lux and then him… there must be something special about this particular birthday. The two people he loves most in this universe can’t help their honesty. He decides to accept the luxurious gift, resuming his seat and watching as Jumin pours the wine into the glasses. With a word of thanks, he takes the one Jumin offers him. Together, they clink their glasses in silent cheers before drinking.

The taste of the wine dances on his tongue; Jihyun breathes deep to savour it. Unicorn Wine… that’s what people call it. The moment the first drop hits his palate he understands why. This must be what the mythical nectar of the gods taste like. It’s bold, smooth, dry, and acidic—truly an explosion of flavour and texture. There is no other wine in the world that tastes like this… Jihyun thinks back to his beloved’s words with a smile. And then underneath… a faint hum of sweetness that makes everything vibrate. It’s uncharacteristic, not belonging to the wine… rather it’s born out of this moment—this special moment.

And it fits. Somehow.

He glances at Jumin and meets his eyes. They smile at each other.

“Happy birthday, my dear friend.”

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