#And today she asked me if I was gay in front of god and everyone in a boba shop and I didn’t say anything and I feel like a fucking idiot

[beatlespussy]

(mario voice) haooagoohagaga

[cameronspecial]

Request: Rafe intimidates the shy girl by suggesting she sits on his lap during a night out with mutual friends; feeling unable to refuse, she complies, but struggles to focus on conversation as his hard-on presses against her.

Musical Chairs

Pairing: Rafe Cameron x Reader

Warnings: Saying something is gay, Manipulation, Rafe forcing Y/N to sit on his lap, and Sexual undertones

Pronouns: She/Her

Word Count: 0.7K

Masterlist

Y/N doesn’t normally go out partying with Kim, especially out to the club. However, Kim begged her to come today because Kim wanted to try to hook up with Kelce tonight. So far, Kim has had no luck with getting Kelce’s attention because Rafe is always taking over his friend’s attention. Kim hopes that Y/N will be able to keep Rafe distracted long enough for Kim to make her move. This is why the timid girl finds herself in the loud and dizzying establishment. Topper and Rafe are deep in conversation while Kim and Kelce are getting everyone drinks at the bar. Rafe is sitting on the right side edge of the u-shaped booth, while Topper sits beside him and Y/N sits beside Topper. The only empty spot left is the one to her side, which is the other end of the booth. Kelce and Kim soon return to the booth and Kim sees the seating predicament. Kim motions for Y/N to move out of her spot. Not wanting to argue, she slides out of the booth and moves herself to the bar stool at the table. The two patrons with the drinks get into the booth and the conversation returns. Ten minutes later, Mac comes over and daps all of the boys. Mac looks around for a seat to hang out, but finds none. 

Rafe notices this search and flicks his chin toward Y/N, “Just take Little Mouse’s chair.” Her eyebrows knit together. She normally wouldn’t speak up, except she doesn’t think it is fair that she has to move again. “Why do I have to play musical chairs again? Why can’t he just squeeze into the booth with your guys?” she protests with her arms crossed. Rafe chuckles, “Because it would be gay for all four of us guys to be sitting in cramped together and even more gay if he sits on my lap.”

“Who is going to sit on your lap?” 

“You are. God, sometimes you can be so dumb, Little Mouse. Makes me wonder what you are learning from all those books you are always reading.” 

“I’m not going to sit on your lap, Rafe.”

“Yes, you are. Look, Mac is getting tired, standing there while we argue about this. He worked all day and now, he can’t even sit down. You really want to be the reason why he is in pain, Little Mouse?” 

Her eyes glance over to Mac and he gets the message from Rafe to play along. His shoulders sag. Falling for the trick by letting guilt overwhelm her, Y/N gets up from her chair and offers it to Mac. Nevertheless, she still refuses to sit on Rafe’s lap. She chooses, instead, to stand at the side and look around the club. Rafe scoffs, tired of her ridiculousness and takes matters into his own hands. His hands fall on her hips, bringing her over to sit on his lap. She yips at the movement and struggles a little to get away from him. His arm comes across her front like a bar, so she is locked against his lap. Eventually, she tires herself out and complies with his wishes to sit there. She stays quiet in the conversation while everyone else seems to be content with spreading gossip. A few minutes later, she is now sitting on something hard that causes her cheeks to heat up and her heartbeat to pick up. Rafe notices her change of behaviour and a smirk crosses his face. 

“What do you think, Little Mouse? Are Stephanie and Clarkson going to last or is he going to find out she is cheating on him soon?” 

She knows he asked her a question, yet the only thoughts going through her head are related to the phallic shape pressing against her butt. Her bottom wiggles against him in uncomfortableness, causing him to let out a low chuckle. The others grow impatient waiting for her answer and fill the silence themselves. Although everyone has moved on from Y/N, Rafe is still focused on her. “If you think it feels good now, wait until it is inside of you, Little Mouse. I promise it will make you feel out of this world,” he murmurs against her ear. 

Taglist: @winterrrnight @loves0phelia @thelomlisrafecameron @wickedlovely121 @thepatriarchykeychain @drewsmusee @starkowswife @maybankslover @forstarkey @loving-and-dreaming

[hoesformatt]

CODE RED

matt smut, don’t play in my face because i will play in your ass.

sub!matt • hooters worker!poc!reader (i’m black so, if you mad you can lick my pussy all the way to my ass, idgaf but my shit is meant for everyone unlike some of y’all, it’s just poc friendly)

contains: pet names (use of mommy), hand-jobs, blow-jobs, heavy petting, no use of y/n

word count: 1.1k

“Ok so I’m Kelsey, just here to seat you but you’re server will be… Holy shit you scared me.”

I came around the corner to the booth where triplets sat at and Kelsey introduced me.

“This is the thickest bitch in the joint so don’t be shy—” I pushed her away from the booth and she laughed before asking me for the cleaning bottle and cloth she left on the tables.

I stretched across the table feeling my boobs about to pop out of my shirt for a second before pulling back and giving it to Kelsey and she left.

The brunette with tattoos was already staring down at my breasts and when he saw me looking straight at him and he faced the other way.

“So what are our names and orders today” I took out my notepad and pen then they told me their orders and their names, “I’m Nick, that’s Chris and that’s Matt.”

Matt’s face was turning red pushing his hair out of his face, that had mixed emotions written on it. I left their table marching towards the kitchen giving the order to the cooks when Kelsey came up behind me and slapped my ass “What’s up with your table poundcake”

Poundcake was my hooters name or my ‘porn’ name my co-workers and friends gave to me because I’m so thick that I could get any guy to ‘pound my cake’.

“I think i’ve got a code red with the one with tattoos”

“The red haired one or the brunette one?”

“The brunette one obviously, the red haired one is gay”

“Figures, get their drinks and check up with him again”

I took their drinks from the front of the bar, they got the generic Dr. Pepper, Pepsi and Fanta, sauntering to the triplets stand bending down to give them each their soda.

I moved back to see their satisfied faces them back to Matt who still was a bit flustered. I crouched down beside him as he was on the end of booth, and I just stared straight at him.

He shifted in his seat without ease beginning to pick up the pace of breath and turning pink again.

“Can you come with me?” I asked him quietly

“Oh why, is there a problem?” He friskily answered

“Just come” I grabbed his shirt as he got up from his seat covering his crotch with his hands following me to a black door that was written ‘red room’ beside the ‘employee only’ door.

Entering through the door I lead him to the couch in the dimmed room.

KELSEY

I watched shaking my head, laughing as the brunette boy was lead in the red room. I went to go wait the table as I asked them how everything was going. “Yeah everything is great but where did Matt go with her” Nick inquired

“He was taken into the red room. Do you guys want re-fills?”

“Yes please, but what the actual fuck is a fucking red room, if I may ask” Chris opened his phone typing up, God knows what then reading off a google search.

“A red room is a term for a room specific hooters joint have for men referred as ‘code red’. To be classified is a code red you may look uncomfortable, distressed, anxious, nervous horny or extremely red. Code red men may receive ‘relief’.” He announced with quotations with his last few words.

“What does ‘relief’ mean” Nick asked with a mixed amused and alarmed expression.

“20 year-old man doesn’t know what ‘relief’ means” I did and hand-job signal and the boys at the just ‘ew’ed and groaned excessively.

“Good news for you guys she isn’t one of the girls at the joint that actually does code red acts. So he’s probably in there just chilling out, he’ll be back in the booths by the time the food is here.”

YOU

My hot breath was on his neck as I palmed his hardness still creating a tent in his pants. His whimpers were weak and pathetic but music to my ears, making me wetter by the second.

“Please touch me mommy, I need you so bad”

I gazed at his handsome face, eyes full of lust and his lips that is at pink as his tip. I creeped my hands under his pants and into his boxers feeling for his shaft.

Applying my thumb onto his already coated tip, he was signalling for me to start working on him. I took my hand out fully yanking off his sweats and boxers with them, licking my hand before I touched him.

Teasing his was entertaining all he could do was bitch and squirm in need for touch. “Mommy please, I’m begging please touch me”

“Are you going to be a good boy for me?”

“Yes mommy, I’ll be a good boy, just touch me”

I agreed with him as I slid my hands up and down on his throbbing length, earning some whimpers while he was trying to fuck my fists. I got on my knees in-front of him fully removing my hand from his dick before I lick the slit of his tip working my way down to the bottom of his shaft sticking my tongue out and dragging it around the length and sucking on him.

“Ohh— my fuck, mommy just like that” I hollowed my cheeks on him as his moans echoed off the walls of the room. He held my curls in his hand pushing ny head down and I gagged on his cock. He then realised his mistake as my lips popped off his dick, “I’m sorry mommy it just felt so good I-I-I couldn’t help myself, I’m s-sorr—”

I slap his face before he could say finish saying anything and loud whine escaped his lips “Now you’re misbehaving and being a fucking bitch aren’t you?”

“I’m sorry mommy I didn’t mean it please let me cum—” I slap him once again as he was making me inpatient.

“I will let you cum, only if I don’t hear a squeal, moan or whimper even leaves your mouth. I’m leaving” I nods in a agreement as I go back to what I was doing before.

Matt’s legs began to tremble whilst I just begun to suck his dick again, twisting my head and using my hands near the bottom of his length I can’t completely suck. He bit his lip fighting the urge to whimper.

I looking back up at him, Matt is struggling to keep his beautiful sounds in, his face glowing in embarrassment. Head falling back, bucking up his hips with watered eyes and his breath was hot.

“Mommy i’m cumming” Warm sticky liquid was streaming out his tip, covering his stomach along with his whole body trembling, pleasure over taking his body. “Thank you mommy, you make m-me feel s-so good”.

I licked the remains off his stomach and tip before cleaning off my lips.

my masterlist

this one is alot more longer SO EAT CHILDREN TF, and I hoped the freaks like it MWAH. stay super freaky, have great vagina, I LOVE Y’ALL

tags: @lunariaxzz @thesturniolos @angelic-sturniolos111 @littlebookworm803 @miguelsangel

[idontplaytrack]

Wait For You

AJ Campos x fem! reader

Warnings: AJ pining over reader, being a bit big (hopeless) gay mess. Fluff, angst? Coarse language. Dylan being annoying

In which, AJ is scared of making the first move despite her friend’s’ encouragement and is in need of a push. Partially inspired by the song included.

“AJ! You are infuriating.” Dylan sighs exasperatedly.

“I’m sorry. I haven’t had a crush like this before.”

He rolls his eyes, “Stacey- help.”

“What is it this time?” Stacey chuckles, putting her phone down.

AJ was currently sat with her usual friend group in the school courtyard for lunch. “She keeps saying y/n is cute and I tell her to ask for her Instagram and she says she can’t do it.”

“Do you want me to just introduce you? What’s staring at her from afar going to do? You’re worse than Paige crushing on Gabs.” Stacey was ready to get up and just approach you.

“No, no, no. I’m not ready.”

“AJ- all year.” Gabi chimed in.

“Very helpful.” AJ scoffs. “It would be.” Stacey shrugged, “I’m going.”

“NO.” AJ freaks out, “Are you crazy? She says hi to me and I barely say a word back- how can I talk to her?”

“AJ! Just start with one question. Or just one word? Say hi? She’s in your fucking homeroom.”

AJ smacks him on his shoulder, “Shut the fuck up, dude.”

“She’s coming over.” Stacey says. “Because you’re waving!” AJ screeched, ready to bolt from the picnic table. Paige pushed her back down, “She likes you.”

“Fuck, no.”

“Your gaydar is so off, it’s hopeless.” Paige sighs. “And she’s been giving you signs.”

“What signs?” AJ sighs exasperated.

“Hi, guys.” y/n stops at the bench, “What’s up?”

“Our AJ over here was wondering if you’d like to go out with her sometime?” Gabi asked first. AJ felt her heart stop for a beat, seeing you right in front of her face had her cheeks heating up. She looks away.

“Don’t stop us. You clearly need the help because you are one clueless bitch.” Dylan remarked. You smacked him on the shoulder, “Don’t call her that.”

“You two are the same person.” He seethed rubbing his shoulder.

“But yeah, I’d love to go out with you.” You smiled, “I’ll text you.”

AJ chuckles nervously, “Okay. Yeah- um- thanks?”

The group collectively facepalmed at her response while you asked for her phone to input your number. She fumbles, nearly cracking her phone on the floor, “Here.”

“Okay. I’m gonna give myself a missed call so I have your number too.” You shrug. Once that was done, you gave AJ her phone back. “I’ll see you around.” You flashed her a smile, turning to leave.

“Say, ‘bye’, you.” Paige nudged her in the back

“Bye, you.” AJ didn’t even think and those words just repeated themselves in a completely different tone.

“Oh, God.” Dylan groans.

“Bye, AJ.” You chuckled, walking away.

————

“Your sister? Ridiculous. She’s so awkward.” Dylan grumbles.

“So? Not everyone finds it easy to talk to someone and get to know them.” Gabi squinted.

“It’s clear as day that she likes you, why are you so terrified of girls? You’re gay.” Dylan continues.

“Okay, enough. That’s not helping anything, babe.” Stacey shushed him. “AJ, once she texts you with the deets, let us know and we’ll help you- all the way. Outfit, hair- whatever you want.”

“I mean, I don’t think I’m gonna need to do much if-”

“She likes you? No shit- I think if you fuck her senseless the first night, she wouldn’t mind either.”

“Okay, shut the fuck up, Dylan.” Paige glares at him.

“I’m not about to hook up with someone I haven’t even talked to.”

“You wouldn’t be the first to do it to someone.” Dylan says.

“Shut up. Did you get out of the wrong side of the bed today? Because you’re making me seriously angry.” AJ shifted away from him.

The bell rings. AJ grabs her backpack and notebook, “I’m gonna get to class. Bye, guys.”

After school was over, AJ headed home, eagerly anticipating your texts. She dumps her backpack on the ground and plugged her phone in before she went ahead to take a shower.

You saw her response and practically jumped for joy. You’ve been interacting with her for months in a way that you only would with someone you had feelings for and thank God for her friends for finally stepping in because she was a little too nervous. This was a great start. Considering how she could barely get her words out with you.

There it was. Chuckling to yourself, you rolled over so you were laying on your stomach. You tossed your phone aside while waiting for her to reply.

Your phone chimed after a couple of minutes, and what was on your screen was a voice message. You pressed play: ‘Nothing much, really. I just got out of the shower and saw that I got a text from you so…I responded. Can’t wait to see you though. You?’

‘I was thinking about watching a movie. I’m not feeling too excited about the homework I’ve got, so I’m kind of procrastinating a little bit.’ You sent her one back.

She didn’t respond for a bit, but you didn’t think too much about it. Shrugging, you got up to walk around, stopping in front of your mirror to redo your hair. Your phone buzzes again. You pick it up, and:

You told her yes and immediately went to get your stuff. Then, you left the house and headed to hers. You’ve been there a couple times when Gabi threw parties, but you’ve never got time alone with AJ even then. You could never find her- and once when you did, she avoided you like she’d just seen a ghost.

————

“Oh, you actually came.”

“Why the hell would I turn down an invitation from the mysterious AJ Campos?” You joked, “Can I come in?”

“Uh- yeah, yeah. Duh, of course.” She stepped aside so you could enter. And once you did, she closes the door behind the both of you. Anyway, while AJ worked on her chemistry worksheet, you do the same- completing the remaining questions that you had left after working on a part of them in class.

“I’m such an idiot.” She says while writing her essay later on.

You squinted at her, dropping your pen, “What makes you say that?”

“My friends.” She scoffs, “You’ve been so nice to me and trying to get me to talk to you and all I do is avoid you like you’re trying to kill me. I mean, maybe you are trying to kill me with how cute you are a little bit. But…”

“Hang on a sec- did you just call me-”

“I’m sorry.” She blushed.

“No, no. Don’t be- that- that’s good. Flirt with me all you want, I’m down.” You told her straightforwardly, “Because if I’m being honest, if you flirt with me, I’ll flirt back. But if you don’t, I don’t. Because I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“I’m just…awkward.” She admits, “And scared that you didn’t actually like me.”

“Fact is, I would wait for you no matter how long it took.” You admitted, “Besides, you’re co-captain of the track team. That alone, I personally find it so hot. I love a sporty gal.”

She blushes, “You’re sweet. But honestly, I hope you wouldn’t because you could’ve wasted your time on me.”

“I’m just saying…I’m a patient person. If you’re not ready, I’m not gonna insist that we start dating or anything.” You told her, “We can just get to know each other and let nature take its course.”

“Okay.” AJ nodded decisively, “This works both ways, y/n. If you don’t want to do anything, be honest. Or if you want to try anything, let me know. We can talk about anything. Whatever you want. That’s how we should make things work.”

[sublimecatgalaxy]

doing daryls hair?

Oh my god my dream.

"You should've told me it was getting this bad, hun." I whisper, dragging my fingers through his hair as he rests his head against my chest, sitting between my parted legs. He just hums in acknowledgment but I can imagine his blushing cheeks, the bashfulness that typically arises in this type of situation.

The scissors in my hands work at getting the big knots that I can't untangle on my own, hair falling to the ground as he takes a deep breath in, his hands sliding around me to rest on the backs of my thighs.

I know that he's more than appreciative of me taking my time to do this, not only for the sake of his hair but for the sake of comfort and neediness, things he never realized he needed in the first place. But out of everyone in Oceanside, Hilltop, Alexandria and The Kingdom; Daryl was the one who needed healing the most.

"How was your day?" Daryl asks quietly, muffled against the material of my t-shirt as I smile, setting down the scissors to separate his hair into sections to work on.

"Kind of boring. Worked with the kids a bit, Judith was asking about you." I explain, my heart aching as I remember all the times where I would catch Judith talking to Negan, telling him how much she missed her uncle in the six years he was gone. He was a big part of her life, of all of our lives. It was as if a missing puzzle piece was gone when he was.

"I meant to say hi to her when I got in but it was too late. I'll see 'er in the morning." I smile successfully as I work through another knotted section of his hair, coating the strands with water before moving on.

"Had to come see me first and foremost, hmm?" I tease, his back rumbling in laughter as his chin tilts upwards so he can look at me.

"'course." The corner of his lips tugs up into a boyish but truthful smile as my fingertips linger a bit, pushing the crooked bangs from his face. "Gotta come see my favorite girl sometime." He flirts carefully, his own cheeks heating up at his own comment. His eyes avert from mine, leaning forward to return to its spot against me. I just grin, my fingers shaking a bit as I realize our closeness and the lack of other people around. He had knocked on my door, a complete surprise, in the middle of the night and this had to have crossed the threshold of friends by miles.

"You're awfully flirty today." I whisper, finishing up the last section with a huff, brushing my comb through the strands once more to ensure that it's completely smooth. The texture is completely different than it was when we started and now it completely lacks mats and tangles.

"Jus' honest. Always honest with you, you know that." I nod, grabbing some oil that I can brush into and message into his scalp, knowing how much he loves it. I sit down on my bed beside him before beginning, again taking it strand my strand as his eyes flutter shut. "Can I stay here tonight? Don' want Michonne knowing I'm here til' tomorrow." He asks timidly, his voice quivering a bit and I whisper a quiet 'of course' as I look over his tired- exhausted- expression. The fire lit in the corner of the room makes him glow almost and the sound of dogs pitter patter of his feet on the floor comforts me, reminding me that he's truly here in front of me after so long.

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Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpc i@joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90@szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna@f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin @abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum @glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the-heart @vampviolets @haylee-e@popehaywardssecretgf @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife @smoke-and-fire @officiallyunofficialperson @heyaitsklaudia @rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @smoke-and-fire386 @chiyongberry @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy

[a-strange-inkling]

Trimmings (P1)

(Hellcheer Short set in the Old Haunts Universe)

A/N: A little humor to break up all my angst-heavy writing lol

A Metalhead’s hair is sacred, but fire is fire.

Chicago, Illinois 1988

“I blame you entirely.” Eddie seethes, shuffling lower in his seat, the God awful smell of burnt follicles still oppressing his nostrils. He’s spent the better part of the car ride scowling in silence, trying to think of a way to undo this, some solution, some trick.

“No, nuh-uh, nope, absolutely not,” Gareth chimes from the driver’s seat loudly. “I’m not taking the fall for this one… How the hell is it my fault?”

“You gave Jimmy the go ahead!”

“Bullshit! I’ve been second in command for twelve fucking years, I said it would be awesome, but you had the final say.”

“Because you made it sound like he knew his shit!”

“Oh, please, you nearly creamed your pants when you heard the word pyrotechnics.” he snaps. “You were just as onboard as the rest of us.”

“Yeah well …” he scoffs. “You recruited Jimmy in the first place.”

“Because we needed a new lead singer and some eye candy for the girls… not because he‘s a smart guy, Eddie.”

He groans miserably, palming his eyes. It really doesn’t matter whose fault it is—not his—because it doesn’t change anything.

The damage is done.

“…Want me to call Chrissy?” Gareth asks after a couple of minutes of awkward silence.

“Yeah, yeah,” he barks sarcastically in a manic, high pitch voice as he snaps back up. “That’s a great idea, Gareth, let’s call my anxiety ridden wife while she’s at class and tell her that I caught on fire at rehearsal with our four month old daughter in the vicinity!”

“Hey, hey, I’m just trying to help, nobody got hurt…”

Eddie gawks at him.

“Like legitimately hurt, dude… You don’t have any bad burns or anything. It could have been way worse.”

“Man, I’ve been growing this out since I was fifteen.”

“It’s not…” Gareth brakes at a red light, frowning as he takes him in. “…that bad.”

Olivia fusses a little in her car seat. Eddie glances back, pulling half his body through the console to check on her. “I know, bug, I know, your Uncle Gareth is a liar.” he says, reaching to rub her tiny tummy till she calms back down, shooting his drummer a death glare all the while.

Gareth rolls his eyes. “Just calm down, I told you, Amber’s got this, she’s the best.”

“Yeah, yeah everyone’s the best, so long as they’re screwing you.” he hisses as they pull into the salon.

“No man, I mean it, she’s a legit miracle worker, she does my hair and Ned’s too…”

“Oh, well now I’m convinced.” Eddie sings with mock enthusiasm as he slams his door shut, opening the back door to get Olivia out. She’s wide awake now, staring up at him with her big brown eyes. “Hey there princess, come here.”

She makes little coo sounds, kicking her legs excitedly at the sight of him and, goddamn it, he falls in love with her all over again. “I know, I know, it’s been so crazy today, but you’re being so good, such a good girl.” he gushes. “Just a little longer and then we can go home, okay?”

He pulls her out, gently cradling her against him, careful not to get any cinders on her. Gareth slips on the front pack, readjusting it to his size. “Have to hang with Uncle Gareth for a little bit, okay?” he tells her, kissing her soft, peach fuzz cheeks a few times before strapping her to Gareth’s chest. He gives him an up and down stare. “Now, this may be hard for you, but please don’t set my baby on fire.”

Gareth rolls his eyes. “I’ll do my best.” he replies snidely, noticing some side looks from a few women passing by as they exit the building. “…We look like an alternative gay couple with our love child.”

“Yeah right,” Eddie finishes clipping Olivia in, slinging the baby bag over his shoulder. “There’s no way our love child could be this cute with half of your genetics.”

Gareth gasps. “I’m adorable, what the fuck?”

“Hey,” Eddie turns back around and scuffs him. “She’s awake now, watch the language.”

They step inside and make their way to the front desk where a platinum blonde is stereotypically reading a Cosmo magazine and chewing loudly on Hubba Bubba bubble gum. She glances up. “Hello—AHK! Holy—” she exclaims, just short of cursing as she straightens in her seat. “…smokes.”

She winces. That wasn’t really the right thing to say either.

Eddie comically scrunches his whole face right back at her. Smooth.

“Hey, Bev.” Gareth greets. “As you can see we kind of have a bit of an emergency on our hands; is Amber in?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah Gare… let me just go get her, hold on...” she replies, visibly cringing, teeth clenched as she backs away into the next room. “You can uh… take a seat.”

They plop down in the small waiting area, the smell of hairspray and perm lotion making Eddie somewhat nauseous with the mixed scent of his burnt hair.

“You better be right about this.” he mutters to Gareth, giving Olivia her binky to suck on preemptively, knowing she’s not going to like it when he leaves the room. She’s a perfect little angel, but she’ll get fussy and usually cry if he and Chrissy aren’t around. It seems she’s inherited their shared separation anxiety.

“Look, dude, she’ll fix it the best she can, but you’ve got to accept here and now that it’s going to be… shorter.” the drummer replies, giving Oilvia a habitual kiss on the head, bouncing a little in his seat to amuse her. “I mean a lot—some—some—of it is already… you know… gone.” he gestures up to the one section that’s singed all the way up to his earlobe on the left side. A few more crispy strands fall like snowflakes to the floor at the movement. Eddie shoots him the stink eye.

“Gare Bear!! I didn’t know you were coming to see me today!” A pretty brunette with an impressively large perm steps through a beaded curtain wearing a mini skirt and a red cropped tank top. “My rockstar!”

“Hey Ambie Bambi, how are you, baby?” he hops up to his feet as she bounds up and kisses him, poor little Olivia sandwiched between their lovers’ embrace.

Eddie feels his eyes almost roll right out of his head.

The four month old makes a small whine in protest, her round eyes meeting Eddie from under them as if in a silent plea for help, sucking more frantically on her pacifier.

“Alright, break it up, you’re squishing my child.” he stands, clapping his hands at them as if to shoo a flock of birds.

Amber pulls away with a pop, looking down and folding her hands beneath her chin. “Oh, what a little sweetie pie, what’s your name, cutie?”

“This is Olivia.” Gareth tells her proudly as if he produced her himself, lifting his chest a little to grant her better access. “Her friends call her Livvy.”

“Awww she is scrumptious! Goochie goochie goo!” she tickles Olivia’s chin, and the poor baby looks confused and horrified, the situation having somehow gotten worse. “You look so cute with a baby, Gare Bear!”

“You think?”

“Mmhmm.” she hums, tickling his chin next.

“Yeah, well you know me, babe.” he giggles a little at her ministrations. “I’ve always been great with kids.”

Eddie deadpans, fairly sure Gareth has never even held a baby before Olivia. He coughs obnoxiously loud into his fist, making the couple finally turn to acknowledge him.

“Ambie, this is my bandmate, Eddie, he um… needs a little help, as you can see.”

“Yikes! Bev wasn’t kidding,” she reaches out to lift up a corner of his hair, assessing the damage. “Have a little trouble with the stove top, honey?”

“Flame projector, actually.” Eddie corrects, glowering.

“Jesus! You rocker boys, never a dull moment!” she exclaims with a laugh. “Let’s get you in a chair, I think you’re still smoking a little.”

Olivia immediately starts to fuss, her binky falling to the floor, as he follows after Amber. Eddie stops and turns back.

“Aw, Livvy, it's okay.” Gareth comforts. “He’s not going far.”

“You two can come too, if you don’t mind it being a little cramped,” Amber tells them.

“That’d be great, she might start crying if she doesn’t know where I am.” Eddie replies.

“Aw, how cute, a little daddy’s girl!” Amber places a hand over her heart as she pulls back the beaded curtain for them. “She’s your clone, by the way.”

“That’s what my wife says.” he replies as he sits down in the chair in front of the large mirror, grimacing at his reflection. It’s so bad.

“Okay, honey, I think the best course of action is to trim off the burnt edges, then we’ll wash it down and see where you want to go from there.” she tells him, wrapping a gown around his neck, clipping the back.

“Okay…” he tries not to cry, sniffing loudly. He’s a grown ass man. “Can you please keep it as long as you possibly can?”

“Absolutely.” she replies, but he notices her exchange a long glance with Gareth as she picks up her scissors.

[jksprincess10]

Dressed for revenge 9.Stardust

A/N: This is the end of Arc 2. The slowburn finally... stops slowburning. 

CW: burial, guilt, funny shit, laughing at peepaw, suicidal thoughts, references to abuse, v fluffy.

Masterlist for this fic    

Please reblog!*

Start of December 2023, Bill and Frank’s house

The snow falls peacefully on the bodies. It’s like the sky was waiting for death to bring the storm. Ellie is sitting on the ground. Ghost insisted on helping Joel shovel. Even if he said they should rest. So, they shovel away the snow, until they get to dirt. They shovel, until they’re sweating under their coats.

With the bodies, Ghost is hoping to bury their guilt as well.

The corpses of the lovers get lowered as gently as possible in the holes by Joel and Ghost. Ghost thanks them one last time for their hospitality, before dirt and fresh snow cover the bodies. The expanse of Joel’s hand wipes away his forehead.

“We should take a shower to warm up and get cleaned up one last time before we leave. I don’t know when’s the next time we’ll have access to a shower.” Ghost agrees. “ Ellie, since you didn’t move your ass, take care of the last stuff we need to bring in the truck.”

Start of December 2023, the garage

They both showered one after the other, before meeting back with Ellie.

The kid smiles brightly when she sees Joel and Ghost come back.

“Well, don’t you two look pretty.” She teases, her back against the door of the old truck.

“Don’t call me pretty.” Joel grumbles.

It’s true. He looks good, with his hair still a little damp, and with his new flannel shirt.

“She’s right, though.” Ghost says. It’s the first complete sentence they say since yesterday’s events. And it’s the first smile Joel gets from Ghost today. “You’re handsome, Joel.”

“If G says, it’s the truth! Shotgun the front!”

Joel doesn’t say anything. He looks away, shyness spreading on his face. He didn’t want to be called pretty or handsome. He didn’t deserve it. And it was far too old for this. Far too old to feel this way.

“It’s fine, I’ll take the back.”

Ghost climbs in the back of the truck, Joel takes the wheel and Ellie sits beside him. They close their eyes as they’re rocked by the running vehicle’s vibrations.

2nd of June, 2003, 3AM

Wyatt got the base down on driving. They didn’t crash, yet. His little sister is too terrified to go back to sleep. Everyone is running away from their city at the same time. It’s clogged.

Wyatt hasn’t talked about what happened.

The little girl didn’t either.

She doesn’t understand anything that’s going on.

But she understands that her parents are gone.

Start of December 2023, on the road

“You feeling better, G? You seemed… sad.” Asks Ellie as she looks behind.

Ghost comes back to earth and tries to fake a smile.

“I’m fine. Sorry for worrying you.”

Joel shoots them a knowing look through the rearview mirror. They were similar in more ways than he thought.

They look to the ground of the truck, and suddenly, they burst out laughing. So hard, it hurts. Joel looks worried, and Ellie looks like she wants to be caught up with the action.

“What?”

“Bill and Frank gave us one last gift. But I’m afraid you can’t look, Ellie.”

“Noo, don’t treat me like a fucking baby. Come on!”

Ghost holds up the old gay porn magazine. “Very nice literature.”

“Oh god.” Ellie gasps, then laughs. “Joel, maybe you should see if you like it… since you were asking quest-”

Joel’s knuckles go white against the wheel.

“Ellie.” He says, as a warning.

But they all laugh together, eliminating the shadow of death standing over them.

Start of December 2023, North

It’s almost dark when they stop. They find a hidden space, behind a nice big boulder. They hide the truck behind it, and they get started on a fire to cook food.

“I’ll see if I can get us some water.” Ghost says and goes around the rock.

Luckily, minutes away, they find a breathtaking view. Like winter was barely there, a waterfall is nestled between two large boulders, and pouring out in a nice, little lake. They told themselves they would come back later to bathe. And maybe… maybe they would invite Joel. They still thought about the warmth of his embrace and their almost-kiss. Ghost fills their bucket and comes back to the camp.

They eat in silence, and Ellie says she’d go to sleep early. She climbs back in the truck and lays on the backseat, which leaves Ghost and Joel alone in the silent night.

“I wanna show you something.”  They say as they get up. They extend their hand to Joel to help him get up.

Then, they walk in a comfortable silence until they stop at the waterfall.

“How is that possible-” Joel asks.

“I don’t believe in God, but it’s a miracle. Guess it’s not cold enough during the day for it to freeze completely.” Ghost leans down and grazes the water with the tip of their fingers. “It’s not too cold.”

Then, they look at Joel with a smirk. “I’m going in.” They say.

They take a deep breath, then turn around to get rid of their clothes, leaving them in their little shorts that look like boxers. They feel vulnerable, but they can't keep hiding from Joel.

Without looking at him, they enter the water, being careful not to wet their healing back.

Joel can’t look.

“Come on, don’t be a pussy, Joel. It’s not that cold.”

He grunts, then gets rid of his clothes under the pressure. Ghost tries not to look – but it’s hard not to. Everything about Joel was strong and inviting. He submerges his body in the water, whining about how cold it was. He was still looking away from them.

Ghost’s tattooed hands come up to his scratchy cheeks to turn his head towards them.

“It’s okay, Joel. I can’t hide forever.”

At first, his eyes lock with theirs, then his eyes inevitably wander to their neck, their tattooed chest, their raised scars. Even as he’s analyzing them, Ghost feels safe.

“What does the tattoo mean?”  He asks as he points to the portrait of a lady with a head of snakes.

“It’s Medusa, you probably know her myth… She… symbolizes what I’ve been through.”

Joel nods. “Have you done that one yourself?”

“Yes. I loved drawing… it’s the only thing that kept me from spiraling when… Jeremiah didn’t want me to go out and hunt.” Saying the name left a bad taste in their mouth.

Shaky fingers trace the outline of the scar across their chest. Ghost closes their eyes, shivering, not from the coldness of the water, but from his touch.

“What did they do to you?” His eyes sparkled with sadness; his brows furrowed.

Ghost grabs his hand in theirs.

“He… said I had to choose. I couldn’t just be… me. And I couldn’t give kids to the cult like he wanted me to… So he took my breasts, and my uterus. Because I wasn’t a real woman.” It felt liberating, but scary to tell him all of this. “I’m a failed experiment, Joel.” They shrug. “Honestly, I wish the surgery had killed me. It should’ve. I’m not supposed to be here.”

Joel isn’t good with words. Isn’t good with feelings, but he tries.

His hands grab their shoulders, like to shake them to wake them up. But he’s soft. “I’m… glad you’re still around. And… you’re not a failed experiment.” He breathes heavily. “You’re…You’re a beautiful person, Ghost.” It’s like he’s scared to break them with his words.

Ghost’s gaze softens, and they wrap their arms around Joel’s neck to bring him closer. Their bodies’ warmth contrasts with the coldness of the water. Joel visibly hesitates as he brings his hands up to their face, bringing them closer to him. Finally, he kisses them.

Soft, like the kiss of sun on a summer day.

Soft, like running around the fields with a secret lover.

Soft, like clean clothes drying in the wind.

Soft, like they thought him to be.

Ghost abandons themselves in the caress of Joel’s lips. He’s slow, delicate, as if he was scared to hurt them.

They had never been kissed like this by a man.

When he pulls away, he looks scared of having gone too far. But they keep Joel close.

“No man kissed me like this before…” They say with a smile. “Thank you… for making me less scared.”

He caresses their cheek one last time. “Of course… But can we please get out, I’m cold as fuck…” He says as he almost runs out of the water.

Ghost can’t help but laugh as they watch him run away.

“We’ll bundle up and warm up together.” They offer.

**

Joel and Ghost are bundled up in the box of the truck under thick blankets, their eyes raised to the illuminated sky. 

Is this what happiness feels like?

It was bittersweet.

Did they deserve it when they couldn’t even save Wyatt?

To distract their wandering and self-destructive mind, they count the stars until they fall asleep against Joel’s shoulder.

Taglist:  @casa-boiardi @naynay2319 @  eddie-munson-dungeon-master @  dindjarins-brown-eyed-girl @  cutesyscreenname @  angel-with-a-heart @  scrambledslut @itgetsdark-x @cloverhasnobrain​ @toxicanonymity​ @cutesyscreenname @scrambledslut @wannab-urs @str84pedro      

[grandmascokebag]

Soccer balls, More Like Sock Her balls

Chapter 1

It was a brisk morning with clear skies and chirping birds. Yuji skipped down the concrete sidewalk, waving at his new neighbors as he left for school.

Wow, what a beautiful morning, Yuji thought to himself. It’s almost nice enough to make me forget my grandfather, the only parental figure I ever had in my life, dying this morning in front of me. I saw him take his last breath as his eyes clouded over and he passed on to the next life.

Welp, got no time to cry about that! Today is my first day at Jujutsu High, where I have a soccer scholarship!

Yuji walked into the gates. It’s times like these that I miss my grandfather’s ability to drive. Or be alive.

Womp womp, he cheered himself up.

Suddenly, a hot pink Corvette revved into the parking lot obnoxiously, blasting 212 by Azaelia Banks loud enough to shake the asphalt under Yuji’s feet.

“I guess that cunt gettin’ eaten. I guess that cunt gettin’ eaten. I guess that cunt gettin’ eaten.”

A boy around Yuji’s age sprinted out of the car before it fully stopped, slamming the door though it did nothing to lessen the noise.

The window rolled down and a white-haired man leaned far enough to jingle the pink dice hanging by the mirror. “Have a good day at school, sweetie!”

The boy flipped him off, not looking up as he walked over to Yuji.

“You must be the new student. Yuji Itadori, right?”

Now that he was closer, Yuji noticed how pretty he was, with long eyelashes fanning over his soft cheekbones, stylishly spiked hair, and eyes dark enough to get lost in. His eyebrows scrunched together in what looked like confusion and oh MY GOD SAY SOMETHING HE ASKED YOU A QUESTION YOU FUCKING DUMBASS.

“Um what? I mean yes! That’s me! LOL.”

“Did you just say ‘el oh el’ out loud?”

The bell quite literally saved Yuji’s ego from answering the question as it rang. “Saved by the bell!”

WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING SAY THAT OUT LOUD.

“Yeah, I guess. My name is Megumi by the way.”

“Oh that’s such a pretty name!” Good job, Yuji, you saved it

“Oh, you’re calling it pretty because it’s a girl’s name? Next thing you know, you’ll be calling me pretty in an attempt to emasculate me 'cause I’m gay, right?”

“What no I-”

"You hate gay people, right?”

“No, no I-"

“You’re calling me a twink, right?”

“No, I’M ALSO GAY.”, Yuji exclaimed this all too loud, causing everyone in the courtyard to stop and stare at him.

The silence was deafening and excruciating.

Yuji wanted to join his grandfather in the afterlife.

A girl in the crowd started laughing boisterously, breaking the tense atmosphere. As everyone slowly returned to their previous business, she approached casually, throwing an arm around Megumi.

“Yo, fatherless. Are we still on to watch the Bachelorette later tonight?”

“Personal space, Nobara. Also shut up and no, just for that comment.”

The girl rolled her eyes and Yuji felt terribly awkward. To bond over similar situations, Yuji quickly said, “My parents are absent too! And my grandfather died just this morning! Also, my dog got run over.”

Nobara looked weirded out, but Megumi looked at Yuji in a different light, his expression softening. “Oh. I didn't know that. Sorry for taking out my bad mood on you, by the way. My guardian, Gojo, is being a real bitch; I wish he died this morning”

Yuji started laughing, with Megumi joining in softly later. The girl frowned as she left. “Fucking gay freaks,” she muttered as she walked off, joining a green-haired girl and kissing her cheek.

As the courtyard emptied out, only Yuji and Megumi were left, smiling softly at one another.

Megumi quickly cleared his throat. “So, the tour?”

“Oh, yeah, right! Lead the way!”

Megumi walked through the halls as Yuji quickly hurried to follow.

“So, you’ve already met Nobara. The girl she was with is Maki Zenin, her girlfriend. They’re both on the soccer team. Originally, girls weren’t allowed to play the sport, but they hatched a plan together last year to threaten the principal into submission. One thing led to another, and plans turned into dates. It’s the romance story of the ages, or so they say.”

Megumi rolls his beautiful eyes, tinged in starlight and oh shit I should pay attention to what the fuck he's saying instead of his eyes FUCK.

“Next is the band kids,” Megumi stated as they walked past a classroom filled with discordant music and yelling.

“SHUT THE FUCK UP,” a voice exclaimed and, miraculously, everyone did.

“Yeah, that’s Inumaki Toge. He doesn’t say much, but people listen when he does. There’s a rumor circulating that he’s half siren, but the reality is that he has blackmail on practically everyone in the school. Pro tip: don’t insult him. Or his boyfriend for that matter, Yuuta Okkotsu. Though you don’t need to worry much about him. He disappeared last year under mysterious circumstances. Supposedly, he got a scholarship to study abroad, but no one has heard from him since. Oh well.”

“Wait is he like OK-”

“Moving on, there are plenty of other people in band, like useless Miwa or ugly-ass rat-faced dumpster trash fucking Mechamaru.”

“Woah, do you have a grudge or something?”

“No, why do you ask?”

“Oh, uh, no reason!”

Megumi frowned. “OK anyway. There’s a huge betting pool on when Miwa and Mechamaru will get together. They both like each other a lot; Mechamaru even joined band just for her despite being in the robotics club. Many people think that’s a sweet romantic gesture, but personally, I think he’s a pussy who should grow some fucking balls.

“Oh, look there, that’s Todo and Mai. Todo is part of the soccer team. Don’t talk to him; he’ll ask for your type of woman and wrestle you to prove his superiority. Or something. He’s annoying.

“Mai is not really any better. She is Maki’s twin sister but they couldn’t be more different. Where Maki is gruff but sweet in her own way, Mai will bully you about watching Barbie until you cry in front of the classroom on show-and-tell in first grade while everyone, including the teacher, laughs at you, even though, objectively, Barbie and the Three Musketeers is a very masculine movie centering on war and friendship.”

There was a brief pause as Megumi turned to look at Yuji, clearly having forgotten that he was there. His cheeks dusted pink as he waited for Yuji’s reaction.

“Oh, I love Barbie and the Three Musketeers!” Yuji smiled wide. “Though personally, my favorite is Barbie: The Princess and the Pauper.”

“Really! I always loved that movie too! My sister Tsumiki used to make fun of me for singing along.”

“That’s so cool that you have a sister! My older brother left me when I was seven.” Yuji paused. “We should totally watch Barbie together!”

Megumi nodded excitedly before catching sight of Mai snickering behind her hand. “We should move on.”

The boys paused in front of a classroom. A vaguely familiar-looking white-haired man with sunglasses gestured towards a big contraption of metal in front of the classroom.

“Now class, what will happen when I smash this with a big hammer?”

He swung downwards without waiting for an answer. A fiery explosion rocked the school as the sprinkler system turned on. As the students clearly panicked while the teacher laughed hysterically, Megumi turned to Yuji with a serious expression.

“This is the worst teacher in this entire goddamn circus of a school. He constantly endangers his students with his dangerous and unethical experiments, never even teaching the physics material properly, and most of his tests consist of questions about his personal life. Never take a class with this fucking clown; spending time with him increases the urge to kill yourself.”

The teacher looked up, locking eyes with Megumi. “Oh, my sweet baby boy, is that you, my beautiful son?”

He rushed towards the doorway as Megumi quickly and efficiently closed the door, hearing a thud from the other side as the man faceplanted into it.

“He’s also my guardian, Gojo. Let’s leave quickly before he wakes up.”

Megumi dragged a concerned Yuji away.

“Last stop is Professor Geto’s history classroom. He’s pretty chill. All he does is try to discreetly recruit his students into his bullshit cult, so watch out for that. And don’t mention him to Gojo; you don't even want to know the number of times I’ve been subjected to a dramatic retelling of their breakup.”

A mysterious high-pitched growling started, and Megumi grabbed Yuji’s arm in clear panic. “Close the door, close the door oh my god.”

The boys slammed the door shut and sprinted away, Megumi dragging Yuji along by the hand. Though Yuji should have been very concerned over what just happened, all he could focus on was the warmth of Megumi’s hand in his. They finally stopped in front of another classroom, Megumi belatedly letting go of his hand.

Megumi shuddered, looking vaguely sick. The bell rang again and he snapped out of it. “Well, time to get you to class. Luckily, we share Professor Nanami’s English class together. He is nice, kinda boring, and drops weird traumatic lore once in a while. He also grades harshly, so I hope you’re good at writing essays.”

“Don’t worry, I’m an expert,” said Yuji, who was notorious for failing all his essays at his previous school.

The two boys nabbed seats together in the back as a young peppy man entered, wearing a beanie.

“Hey guys! I’m the TA for this class, Ino Takuma! Feel free to ask me any questions, as I'm usually the one grading your essays!”

The class remained silent as many students snoozed in their seats.

“OK awesome! Professor Nanami will be arriving shortly!” Ino discreetly checked his phone.

The door opened as a tall and intimidating blonde man entered. “Hello, class. I apologize for my tardiness,” the man, obviously Professor Nanami, began in a monotone voice, “the line at the bakery was very long. Let's start with a classroom exercise where we go around the class and state 3 fun facts about ourselves. I’ll go first, to give an example: my name is Nanami Kento, I like sandwiches, dislike tomatoes, and I know at some point this will come out, and will ruin the trajectory of the whole class, but I watched my best friend die in front of me when I was 14. Who wants to go next?”

Wow, that was dark. I hate when people trauma dump, it’s so self-centered.

“How about you, young man?” Nanami looked straight at Yuji.

Crap, what to say? I know!

“Hi! My name is Yuji Itadori! My favorite movie is Earthworm 3, I like Jennifer Lawrence and my grandfather died this morning.”

“Good good, just like that. We’ll proceed in a counter-clockwise fashion. You next, young lad.” Professor Nanami gestured towards Megumi.

“Good morning, my name is Megumi Fushiguro. I like tea and my favorite band is kind of underground; you probably haven't heard of them, but it is Radiohead.

“Shut the fuck up,” muttered Nobara, who Yuji had not noticed was behind them.

Megumi ignored her. “And lastly, I hate Gojo Satoru.”

Nanami slowly approached the boy’s desk, towering over him, before giving him a crisp high five. “A+, Mr. Fushiguro.”

The class continued in a similar fashion until the bell rang.

Better head to soccer practice, or I’ll lose my scholarship! That would be bad, because then I would be kicked out of school and homeless because no one is looking after me currently.

******************************

When Yuji arrived at the field, he saw the white-haired man from earlier- Professor Gojo, right?- yelling at a small group of teens gathered there.

Yuji quickly jogged over, not wanting to be late for his first practice. He found a familiar spiky mess of dark hair and went to stand next to Megumi.

“Alright guys. It is seriously not that hard to come up with a good team name and no, Megumi”- the teen next to Yuji put his hand down guiltily- “Team Kill Yourself is not an acceptable option. Oh, is that a newcomer I see?”

Yuji waved excitedly before Megumi grimaced and gently pulled his hand down.

The rest of the tram turned to look expectantly at him, and he recognized a few familiar faces: the blunt Nobara, intimidating Maki, pretty Mai, broad Todo, a few nameless faces, and a mysterious man in a panda suit.

“Um hi! My name is Yuji Itadori and I’m really excited to be helping this team!”

“Well, Yuji Itadori, do you have any name suggestions?” Gojo peered at Yuji over his glasses and Jesus Christ put some contacts on.

“Hmmmmm….. Maybe…..” Yuji clapped his hands together as an epiphany struck him. “How about the Jujutsu Sorceror Team?”

There was a brief pause as everyone digested the new information with considering looks.

“Wow…” began Gojo, “that was seriously the corniest shit I’ve ever heard of. I mean, even Team Kill Yourself is better than that. Hmm… Let’s just go with Team Sock Her Balls.”

A boy Yuji did not recognize shyly raised his hand. “Wouldn’t we get in trouble with the school-?”

“Shut up, nerd. I don't even remember your name, god. Anyways, actual relevant people, let’s begin practice.”

Everyone separated out into the fields as Yuji followed Megumi, who luckly didn't seem to mind.

A harsh poke on the shoulder caused Yuji to turn around, spying Todo towering over him.

“Hello?”

“Hello, Yuji Itadori. What is your type of woman?”

“Jesus Christ, not this again,” Nobara muttered from behind Yuji.

“Ha! I wouldn't expect you to understand, though I can ask your type of man later, if you would prefer.” Todo struck a pose flexing his muscles.

“First of all, me? With a man? You must be out of your goddamn pea-sized brain, you stupid oaf. Second of all-” Nobara reared her fist back and swung forward, straight into Todo’s nose.

Todo was knocked backwards, a stream of blood erupting from his nose. From the ground, he weakly said, “Oh, you’re gay? That’s cool too. What’s your type of woman..?”, before passing out.

“Ughhhh are you serious, Nobara? Soccer is about kicking, not punching!” Gojo complained. “Yuji, take Todo to the nurse’s office; no one else will do it.”

Yuji looked at Megumi with panic before the other boy sighed and gently pointed out the directions to “Nurse Shoko”. Yuji lugged the broader boy across the field, dodging balls that almost seemed to aim at the prone body before Todo woke up and only needed a little assistance.

Yuji eventually found the nurse’s office in a secluded corner of the school. He knocked gently before Todo waltzed in, seemingly familiar with its white wall already. Yuji followed closely behind.

A beautiful woman, Nurse Shoko, who was smoking in both ways, leaned against the wall lazily as they entered.

“Oh great, it’s Todo again,” she said, blowing a puff of smoke in their general direction.

“Is smoking allowed at school?” Yuji asked, perplexed.

“What are you, a tattletale? Shut up and get back to practice, weirdo.”

Yuji returned to the field, glancing back at Shoko providing Todo tissues lazily. As he returned though, he realized practice was over.

Well, better head back to gramp’s house to pack up my things to move into the dorms here. Man, I will miss my house. And my grandfather.

****************************************************************************************

Yuji arrived at his late grandfather’s house, pointlessly announcing “I’m home,” as he took off his shoes.

“Man, I will really miss this place. More than that, I’ll really miss gramps.”

Yuji jumped as a sudden noise upstairs echoed through the supposedly abandoned house.

“Who’s there? I have a knife,” Yuji lied.

Yuji crept up the stairs, only armed with his fists and his fear. He approached his bedroom door, slightly cracked open. As he tried to enter quietly, the door squeaked so fucking loudly that everyone and their dead grandfathers probably heard.

Crap.

“Sup baby bro!” A voice Yuji never thought he would hear again.

Could it be…

“It’s me, Sukunaaaaaa.”

Wow, it really is him!

Yuji fully entered the door, dropping his fists and defenses completely. “Wow Sukuna! I never thought I’d see you again after you left me nine years ago!”

“Yeah well, things changed; I got tattoos and gambled, grandfather died and supposedly had a huge fortune hidden away, haha you know, the usual. Speaking of which, where's that old decomposing dirtbag’s will?

“Oh, you’re still just as funny as you were nine years ago! I’ll go get it from the kitchen!”

Yuji and his long lost older brother walked to the kitchen together.

“Wow, your tattoos look pretty neat,” Yuji said, trying to start a conversation as he gestured to his brother’s facial tattoos.

“Haha yeah, I got them in prison.”

“Oh…”

Mercifully, they arrived at the kitchen. “Saved by the kitchen!”

“What?”

“Nothing! Let me get that will for you.” Yuji rummaged through the drawer before finding the very important piece of paper that probably should not have been in a kitchen drawer. “Well, let’s read it together!”

The paper read:

I, Wasuke Itadori, in good health and sound mind, dedicate all my fortune to my favorite grandson, Yuji Itadori, the light of my life, when he comes of age. I hereby declare that absolutely NONE of my fortune will go to my other bitchass grandson, Sukuna unless there is literally no other option, like Yuji dying or something idk. Peace bitches!

P. S. Choso can get $5.

“Haha wonder who that Choso guy is! Anyways, did that answer your questions?”

“... Yes. Yes it seems so. It seems that I need to get in contact with some old friends… HahahahahahHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHA” Sukuna starts laughing evilly, just like he did when chasing Yuji around with a knife when they were younger. Ah, the good old days.

What could possibly go wrong?

[lil228]

Red White and Royal Blue Notes Day 1

WARNING: Spoilers for both the Red White and Royal Blue movie and the book up to chapter 5

I think it’s funny that Alex’s love story is referred to as Shakespearean considering what’s to come. 

“It’s funny how you think everything is about you” (page 14). Lol- especially bc he’s the literal main character of this story.  

“Systematically drunk” (15) LOL

“Mutual antagonists” (17) 

“Sorry I’m not obsessed with you like everyone else” (18). Oh buddy that’ll change soon. (Alex about Henry)

OMG that whole conversation is so good!

Cakegate is really funny for some reason.

“As the president all I want is to have the CIA fake your death, and ride the dead kid sympathy into a second term.” (23) I see where Alex gets it from. 

The foreshadowing! Like Zarah telling Alex to gush about Henry like he’s his prom date.  

“I’ll do it but I won’t have any fun” (Alex) “God, I hope not.” (Zarah 27) HAH! Alex is going to have fun, maybe too much fun.

Look I know Alex thinks it’s nerdy but if someone told me Great Expectations was their favorite book I would like them even more. 

Ugh! the foreshadowing in this is just so good like when Nora speculate on why Alex has to sign an NDA and one of the reason she give is that he’s (the prince) is Gay. Lol (page 39)

Lol Alex being unable to decide if he Texan or Mexican side is more upset about English Breakfast (page 41)

Foreshadowing- Alex says Henry is “annoyingly attractive (43)

  I don’t know if being an English major broke me or if I’m a mega nerd, but I want to write a literary analysis paper on this so badly.  

Alex’s reasoning for wanting to get into politics is so wholesome (43)

Henry’s interaction with the caner patient is so cute (45)!

“You’re not the prince of me” (47). It’s just so good. Has this author written anything else? Please tell me they have. OMG they have! I will be needing all of their books now thank you very much.

“Are you trying to psycho analyzed me?” (49) lol, I feel like I say a variation of the this all the time when I’m with my psych major friend.

“I’m sensing an ellipsis (Henry) “It’s just…” (Alex) 51. This book sort of dose that thing that White Teeth did where it’s aware that it’s a novel, but it doesn't do it the same way. It’s more subtle and uses more irony.

 Okay Alex and Henry bonding over Star Wars is sweet and kind of nerdy. I like it. 

“But isn’t there something to be valued in a happy ending as well?” (52)

Alex taking a class called The Press and The Presidency is absolutely hilarious to me. 

That one commenter ships it (55)

“B*tch McConnell- I’m dying homygod 

Like Senator Luna, I to can be easily bribed with candy

More foreshadowing on 57. Also I don’t know why but I’m not getting good vibes from Senator Luna

Old money Sith powers also has me dying

The president of united states comparing her children to possums is so funny. 

Also her reminding her children to not discuss their murder plots in front of her

Ugh this book is so good! 

“Leeme romance the hell out of some focus groups” (66) This book is gold 

  The text exchange on 68-9 is amazing

I can only hope to write something this amazing one day.

Nora asking Alex if he’s reading fanfiction about himself made me laugh out loud- at work, granted it’s deader than Marley in this place today

The whole bit with the Turkey is just glorious! Ya did it to yourself Alex.

The way Henry talks to his dog is so cute, and so it the fact that he watches The Great British Bake Off 

Amy’s great!

Page 90- Yes Alex go off!

I love Bea, she’s great, peak sister energy

June is also peak sister energy. 

95- more foreshadowing when June talks about it being like a rom com

“You know I love chaos” (Nora)- 96

I think its really sweet that Henry wants to be a writer 

107- the first kiss! (Squeals)

[celticsorcerer1]

“Aisling McKeen vs Her Outdated Ideals”

—-

(Spoilers for “Scott Pilgrim Takes Off”)

Roxanne “Roxie” Richter happily hummed the Hamster Dance as she skipped through Toronto. She was on her way home from helping her friend and former member of the League of Evil Exes, Todd Ingram work out and get back on track with his vegan lifestyle. He had been making good progress.

As Roxie slid on an ice patch just outside St. Mary’s Parish, the doors opened and Roxie spotted her adorable crush, Aisling McKeen. The Cape Breton native wore a blue parka, black jeans, and Ugg boots. Her eyes were cast upward as her mouth moved.

Roxie smiled warmly. She’d had a crush on Aisling since they bumped into each other completely by chance a few weeks back.

The problem was that Aisling still hadn’t accepted that she liked girls. Something was holding her back.

And it was Roxie’s self-appointed mission to help her over that hurdle. Then go out with Aisling.

Roxie used a smoke bomb to vanish, then reappeared in front of her crush. “Hey, Ash.”

Aisling smiled. “Good morning, Roxie. How are you today?”

“A little hungry, actually. I know this amazing cafe that has really good French Toast. Care to join me?” Roxie requested.

Aisling considered the offer. “You mean… as friends, right?”

“With benefits?” Roxie asked eagerly.

“No benefits,” Aisling gestured toward the Church. “Sacreligious.”

Roxie deflated. “Worth a shot. But, yes, just a friendly brunch. I… recently went through a hell of a battle and could use some normalcy to ground myself.”

Aisling giggled. “How normal can our lives be when you have ninja powers and I’m a Cleric?”

Roxie shrugged. “Nothing tries to kill us today?”

“Fair.” Aisling replied.

—

At the small cafe, the two young women sat across from each other. “So, why did you leave Cape Breton?” Roxie asked.

Aisling sighed. “Partially because I wanted to travel and see where my talents would be most needed, but mostly because… I wanted to distract myself from my past. See, Cape Breton is small. Everyone knows everyone. They know you. All your business. And when someone caught me staring at a fellow female Cleric with… more than just curiosity, it got back to my father… the Chief Cleric…”

Roxie frowned. “And… how did he take it?”

“I don’t know. I left before he could summon me.” Aisling admitted.

Roxie winced. “Oof… sorry, Ash,” she reached across the table and took Aisling’s hand. “Is that why you’re… trying to deny that part of yourself?”

Aisling pulled her hand away. “It’s not me. It was… Satan’s influence. It had to be. It’s not… natural to be attracted to the same sex.”

Roxie sighed. It was worse than she thought. She looked at Aisling with pity. “Honey… don’t Catholics believe that God makes each of us the way we’re meant to be?”

“Well, yes, but…” Aisling trailed off.

“Look, God made you gay. And He didn’t do it to punish you. He did it for a reason. A good reason,” Roxie reached for Aisling’s hand again. “If people tell you that’s wrong, they’re the problem, not you. It’s okay to like girls, Ash.”

“But… if I’m in a relationship with a girl, I can’t… get married according to Catholic rite… or have children.” Aisling countered.

Roxie laughed. “Whoa, slow down, girl. You’re not dating anyone yet. Don’t worry about that stuff. Live in the now.”

Aisling glared at her. “You’re not even Catholic. How can you know God’s will? His plan for me?”

“Because, religious or not, having trouble with coming out is fairly common. Sure, some have it easier than others, but sometimes, coming out can be a real nightmare. And the possibility of that nightmare becoming reality is what can stop us in our tracks,” Roxie smiled and squeezed Aisling’s hand. “That’s why you need to surround yourself with people who will love you for you.”

Aisling looked away. “But if you’re wrong… and God doesn't want me to like girls… I’ll lose my powers.”

“No, you won’t.” Roxie declared.

“How do you know?” Aisling demanded.

“Because you still have them despite the way you looked at that Cleric. Despite the way you blushed when we first met,” Roxie leaned in close. “You’re gay and I like that about you.” She kissed Aisling. It was a quick kiss, no passion.

But from the moment Roxie’s lips touched hers, an electric spark raced from Aisling’s lips down to her heart. She suddenly felt a surge of power race through her.

Thou hast discovered thy true self, Daughter. Your magics are now +5 Healing, +4 Accuracy, +5 Mana. Use them well for my Glory.

When the kiss parted, Roxie smiled. “So? Did you see sparks too?”

Aisling blinked. “Uh-huh… and I think… I’m a stronger Cleric for it too.”

“Cool,” Roxie sat back, resting a hand on her cheek. “So, what now?”

“Well, we eat French Toast… ooh, with blueberries… then… I dunno, maybe I call my folks and tell them I’m okay,” Aisling smiled warmly. “That I’m loved.”

“Solid plan.” Roxie smiled back.

[dinogoose]

you put me on (and said I was your favorite)

“Eddie, us getting a divorce was not a failure. It was two people realizing they are better apart. And we are! You said it yourself, you feel happier.” She gestures to him, waiting for a sign he’s listening.

“Yeah but I-“

“No.” She cuts him off, “Love is terrifying, and heavy, and honestly makes living harder, but and that’s a big but,” Eddie snorts, she ignores him. “It’s worth it. I promise you that, and you have this great thing in front of you. So please, for me, for Christopher, for yourself, tell Buck you love him.”

(or shannon lives, eddie and her are the best co-parents, and eddie loves buck)

Every Sunday Eddie and Shannon go out for lunch, while Chris gets some one-on-one time with his Abuela.

They use these lunches to talk about all sorts of things, silly inside-jokes from their childhoods, gushing over Christopher, and occasionally deep secrets. Secrets that take a lot of courage to admit.

A few months ago, her and Eddie were just making small-talk after placing their orders. It was awkward, almost painfully so. Which was very worrying, things hadn’t been this uncomfortable since the divorce dinner.

“Eddie… is there- something wrong?” Shannon asks carefully, not wanting to spook him. He finally meets her eyes still fidgeting with his hands.

“I- Uhm- I need to tell you something.” A million thoughts rushed through Shannon’s mind. Was he taking Christopher away? Was he leaving? Re-enlisting? She takes a deep breath.

“Okay, I’m all ears.” She can’t help the way her voice trembles. She grabs her water and takes a long gulp.

Eddie looks like he’s psyching himself up before he says, “As you know I’ve been going to therapy. Healing, trying to get better for myself.” Shannon nods, she knows this, and is very proud of him. “While I’ve been going… I learned a few things about myself. I- God this is so stupid- I’m gay.” Shannon is just blankly staring at Eddie, as he picks at the table cloth.

Huh. Eddie is gay. Part of her wants to laugh, not to make fun of him, but because this was not what she expected.

Thinking about it though, Eddie being gay isn’t completely out of left field. She’s not about to list a bunch of gay stereotypes he exudes, but more of she can just see it. The way he used to double glance at attractive men. How he never once had a celebrity crush. How utterly close he is to his one coworker.

Oh.

“Thank you for telling me. Not to over-shadow your coming out story, but I’m bisexual.” Eddie laughs, and the tension in his shoulders finally leaves.

-

After that, they became much closer. No topic was off-limits, no matter how strange or inappropriate.

Today's lunch consisted of them gossiping about everyone, playing rock-paper-scissors to decide who has to attend another child’s birthday party, and strangely enough, discussing their love lives.

Currently (despite Eddie’s protests) it’s his love life they’re talking about now. Or more specifically who they’re talking about now.

“You should do it! Come on, he so clearly loves you. That boy follows you around like a lost puppy.” Shannon says, waving a potato wedge at him to enunciate her point.

“Him ‘following me around like a lost puppy’,” Eddie gestures his fingers into air quotes. “Doesn’t mean he loves me too. So, no, I won’t do it.” He crosses his arms, huffing slightly.

Shannon gives him a very unimpressed look. A part of her does feel guilty, she probably caused this insecurity in him. She knows their divorce hurt Eddie, of course it did, it hurt her too. But, it was the best thing for them. They are better off as friends and co-parents.

Shannon takes a deep breath. “Eddie. You deserve happiness, and I really think telling him could bring you that.”

Eddie sighs, shaking his head, “I can’t Shan. I already had my chance at love, and I failed.”

She blinks slowly at him, contemplating smacking her ex-husband.

“Eddie, us getting a divorce was not a failure. It was two people realizing they are better apart. And we are! You said it yourself, you feel happier.” She gestures to him, waiting for a sign he’s listening.

“Yeah but I-“

“No.” She cuts him off, “Love is terrifying, and heavy, and honestly makes living harder, but and that’s a big but,” Eddie snorts, she ignores him. “It’s worth it. I promise you that, and you have this great thing in front of you. So please, for me, for Christopher, for yourself, tell Buck you love him.”

Rolling his eyes, Eddie continues to eat his food, not answering. However, judging from the small smile on his face, Shannon can tell she got through to him.

*

Eddie has decided, on his own, without any outside influence, to confess to Buck. Just don’t tell Shannon that.

After discussing with Karen, Hen, and even a lightly vague conversation with Bobby, he has decided to do it at home.

He’s going to cook a meal, set up a romantic dinner, and make his big speech. Hopefully Buck doesn’t run screaming for the hills. Not that he ever would. Buck is so incredibly kind, even if he wasn’t interested he would let Eddie down very gently.

But Eddie is about eighty percent sure Buck feels at least something for him. And he likes those odds, so here he is, trying to ask Buck out.

“Buck, hey- uh- do you want to come over for dinner today?” Eddie does his best to maintain eye-contact, but the way Buck looks, shedding his shirt to change into his civvies, is killing him.

Buck smiles, his crow-feet coming out. “Sure! You’ve been getting so good at cooking lately, I’m so proud.” He puts his hand over his heart, batting his eyelashes. Eddie doesn’t know if he wants to hit him or kiss him. Probably kiss him.

“Okay. Cool. I’ll see you at seven?” Buck has a hopeful look pass through his eyes, but it leaves just as quick as it came.

“Yeah- I- Yeah.” Suddenly Buck seems a little nervous, but Eddie brushes it off as projection. He just tells Buck he’ll see him later and heads out.

Oh my god, he did it. He asked Buck out. Now he has to successfully cook a meal without burning it (he’s proud to say his new record is four) and not screw-up his confession.

He’s got this.

-

He most certainly doesn’t ‘got this’.

His outfit feels wrong, sticking to his body in all the wrong places. The meal just isn’t where he wants it. The table he set feels stupid, and cheesy. To put it all simply, he’s freaking out.

Maybe this was all in awful plan- and execution. Maybe Eddie isn’t deserving of Buck’s love. Of Buck’s soft gazes, gentle touches, his warmth. All the good he exudes. Who is Eddie to try and claim that for himself? He doesn’t deserve that, Eddie-

Ding Dong

Oh shit.

“Coming!” He scrambles away from the table, careful not to knock over any candles. Because a firefighter lighting his house on fire is humiliating, and ironic.

Opening the door, he is greeted by a fantastic looking Buck. He’s wearing jeans that hug his thighs perfectly, a red maroon sweater, and his hair has no product- making it look impossibly soft.

Eddie has to clench his hands to stop from touching him.

“Wow- I mean- come in!” Why is he being so awkward? He has no clue. He steps aside, letting Buck in. Buck looks around then finds Eddie’s eyes looking confused.

“Are you having someone else over?” Eddie just stares at him, now also confused.

“No… just you. Why?” Buck looks away.

“Because of all,” He gestures to the table. “This. It’s just- uh- very romantic.” Buck stuffs his hands into his pockets, drilling a hole into the floor with his eyes.

Eddie comes to a startling realization, Buck doesn’t know this is a date. Eddie almost bursts out laughing.

“Romance was the goal I had in mind. Should we eat?” Eddie can practically hear the cogs turning in Buck’s head. It’s kind of adorable. Eddie pushes out his chair, gesturing to it like a gentleman. This seems to boot Buck back online, as he snorts and sits down.

“So… you were asking me on a date earlier?” Buck asks after Eddie sits down.

“Yes Buck. I’m sorry if it wasn’t clear enough,” He runs a hand through his hair. “I always thought I was pretty obvious with how much I- you know.”

Buck shakes his head, a small fond smile on his face. “I had thought I was being obvious! When you asked me out earlier, I thought I was just looking too deep into things. Hen told me I was being stupid.” Buck laughs and Eddie joins him, reveling in the sound.

“You were being stupid, but you got there.”

They both enjoy the meal, Eddie actually ended up making something delicious. The conversation is just as smooth as always, even with the newly added intimacy, it’s still them. Buck and Eddie.

They’re sitting on the couch a few hours later drinking beers when Buck says,

“I think I started falling in love with you after the earthquake.” He mumbles it into his bottle, but Eddie hears him crystal clear. He turns to him with wide eyes.

“That quick?” In Eddie’s wildest dreams, he had never expected Buck to be in love with him, let alone for that long. Buck just shrugs.

“After the shooting, you were teaching Christopher how to make spaghetti sauce. And man- I just knew. I had been in love with you for a while but that was the moment it finally clicked.” Buck takes his beer and Eddie’s, placing them on the table (on the coasters he bought Eddie). Then he turns his body so he’s fully facing Eddie.

“Eds, are we doing this?” His eyes are bright, full of hope, but bits of insecurity are shining through. Eddie places a hand on Buck’s jaw, attempting to ease his worries.

“If you want to. I think we’re both in good places. I’m back at the 118, I’m going to therapy and I love you so-”

Buck interrupts him with his mouth crashing down onto Eddie’s. Eddie gets with the program pretty quickly, deepening the kiss. Buck’s hands land on Eddie’s hips as he pulls him closer, nearly into his lap. They pull back, panting.

“In case I wasn’t explicitly clear earlier, I love you.” Buck says leaning in to place kisses on Eddie’s jaw. Eddie tilts his head up letting him.

“I love you too. Obviously.” Buck laughs, the air tickling Eddie’s neck.

The night ends beautifully, with Buck giving a speech about wanting to do things correctly, so he leaves with one last filthy kiss.

Eddie cannot believe he gets to have this.

He also can’t believe he has his ex-wife to thank for all of it.

[areyoureddieforittaylorsversion]

The King - Chapter Two

The bell rings for the end of school, startling Eddie out of his daydream. He stands up a little bit slower than everyone else, grabbing his backpack. 

He hates it when he realizes he's thinking about Richie. He'd much rather it be mindless. A subconscious attraction that he could ignore if he wants. But he can't ignore it. He really can't. It's becoming upsettingly clear that he's in love with him.

"Fuck." Eddie mutters, looking down as he walks out of the room.

Maybe if he just finds a girl he can fall in love with instead, everything will be okay. His mom keeps trying to push this girl on him. Hannah something. From his church. But he keeps coming up with stupid excuses. Maybe he shouldn't. 

You'll really like her, Eddie. She's such a sweet girl. She's Michael's daughter. You know Michael, Eddie. You'll love her. And then you can finally date a nice girl and spend less time with that Tozier boy. You know how I feel about him, Eddie. You know I want you keeping your distance.

"Eddie?"

Richie's voice startles him out of his thoughts yet again and he looks up at him, eyes slightly wide. 

"What is it?" He asks, shaking his head. 

"Nothing, you just-are you okay?" Richie asks, tilting his head, hands stuffed in his pockets, glasses perched precariously on his nose. 

"Yup." Eddie says, forcing a grin on his face. "Fantastic. We going to the arcade today?"

"Sure thing, Eds." Richie says, slinging an arm around his shoulder. "Just gotta wait for Stan and Bill."

"What about Bev and Ben?"  Eddie asks as they walk out in front of the school. 

Mike never goes with them, no matter what they say and usually Ben and Bev don't but they do sometimes.

"They're not coming." Richie says. "Said they had something to do. Stupidest excuse of my life. Oh, Stan! Stan, come here!"

Stan, who was standing a bit away, looks over at them. He chuckles softly, rolling his eyes, before he walks over. 

"What is it, Richie?" Stan asks. "I was waiting for Bill."

Richie almost giggles at that. "He can come too. We're going to the arcade." He says. "Wanna come?"

"God, you are a dick, you know that?" Stan says. "No. I'm going over to Bill's house. He has to watch Georgie and he didn't want to be alone."

"Alright, guess it's just you and me, Eds." Richie says, waving to Stan before he starts to walk down the road, grabbing Eddie's arm and dragging him after him. 

"I can walk myself, you know." Eddie says but he doesn't protest. 

"You can but you're just so cute."  Richie says, pinching his cheek. "Cute, cute, cute!" 

Eddie rolls his eyes. "Don't call me that, asshole." 

"I'm not an asshole for telling the truth." Richie says with a laugh as they round the corner. 

For the second time that day, his mom's voice rings in his head. 

You can't listen to a word that boy says. You know he's lying, Eddie. You know all his dirty little tricks. You know you can't trust them. He's just trying to brainwash you, Eddie. 

Brainwash him. What bullshit. Brainwash him into what? Being gay? Well, maybe. Richie is the reason he's gay, at least in Eddie's mind. He's definitely the reason he figured it out. 

Every time he tries to convince his mom that Richie is alright, a good person, his best friend, she says the same thing.

Oh, that boy. You know he's one of them, don't you, Eddie? A queer. So unnatural. Boys weren't made to be with boys like that. Absolutely disgusting. It's all fake, you know. Stupid boys making stupid choices. Sending themselves to Hell. Don't be like him, Eddie. Don't listen to a word he says. 

And yet, Eddie is like him. Not that that's something he would ever admit to anyone, not even himself. But sometimes, late at night, Eddie thinks about it.

He thinks about what if he is gay? What if he did get to be with Richie like that, even if he shouldn't? He thinks about what it would be like to kiss him, to love him. And sometimes, when it's really late at night and he can't really control his thoughts anymore, he thinks about touching him.

It's wrong. He knows it's wrong. His mom is right, boys shouldn't like boys like that. But, oh. It seems so perfect. Like it's what he's been waiting for his entire life. 

He told his mom once, when he was about six, that he wanted to marry Danny Zuko. It was a fleeting thought, almost a joke, but she got so mad. 

Edward! Don't say things like that! You know what happens to boys who marry boys! Do you want to end up in Hell, Edward? Is that what you want? You're going to make your mommy cry, Eddie. Just go to bed.

He couldn't see why she was so upset about it. Bill talked about marrying Betty Rizzo so why couldn't he marry Danny? Why was it so different? Why did it even matter?

Because it's not right, Eddie!  It's wrong! It's sick! You don't want to be sick, do you, Eddie?

And Eddie did not. He was so scared when she said that. So he forced down everything he felt for any boys. Until Richie. He can't do that with Richie. It's different. Richie is different. 

"Eddie?"

Eddie jumps. "Yeah, Rich?"

"You alright?" He asks, concerned.

"Yeah." Eddie says with a smile. "Just fine."

[nothaalo]

Agent 4 headcanons because I’m sobbing and I love him so much :((

———————————————

• An absolute fucking menace when it comes to playing video games

• He is so bad it actually hurts to watch him play

• You’d think he’d be good at playing, but jesus christ

• The only games he’s at least average at is Mario kart, Minecraft Animal Crossing

• He’s such a cutie

• Like, he’ll sneak his way in anyones heart no matter what

• Puts everyones feelings before his own (give him some love pls)

• Marie’s best friend. Always flexes about it too

• “yep my best friend is actually Marie from da Squid Sisters HAH!”

• Always makes sure everyone around him feels safe and heard

• Nicest person you’ll ever meet on fucking god

• Always joins Callie when she’s going shopping because he has nothing else better to do

• He might seem like a pushover and super happy all the time but he’s serious when he needs to and will tell people to fuck themselves if he needs to

• Curses way to much

• Like so badly

• Marie once ran after him with a bar of soap because he kept cursing in front of a whole room of kindergarteners

• Is surprisingly very good with children, but never wants to have his own because they’re “Too much”

• Lowkey wants children but never tells anyone

• Favourite bands are Diss-pair and Sashimori

• Super close with all the agents and captain 3. He loves all of them dearly

• Lowkey has a crush on Agent 8 but shhh you didn’t hear it from me

• Had a feeling that Agent 8 and Captain are a thing but never said anything

• Fucking freaked out about Deep Cut and swore that Big Man was his soulmate (Platonically)

• When he met Big Man he got so happy he nearly scared Big Man to death 💀💀

• Apologised so many times 😭😭

• He is so clingy it’s insane

• ^Constantly shits on Captain 3 for what^ Marie told him in Splatoon 2

• Almost got beat up 3 times while walking around Splatsville (Had to get picked up by Marie all three times and got scolded every single time)

• Is the only agent with a working sleeping schedule

• Since Agent 4 and Agent 8 live together he’s tried helping her with her sleeping schedule, but she always ends up messing it up 😭

• Agent 4 is the only agent who can cook (not including the squid sisters)

Bonus 8 headcanon

• Agent 8 is banned from the kitchen because she almost burned the house down one day so she always has to ask Agent 4 to cook for her

—————————————————————————————

• Has no fucking clue whats happening half the time but is just happy to be there

• Constantly gets called an airhead by everyone in the Squidbeak splatoon but is actually the smartest one there 😭💀

• Has Autism, ADHD and Dyslexia

• Left handed but constantly tries to write with his right hand

• Thought he was gay but Agent 8 made him go “Woah, wait”

• Transmasc and Bisexual

• He/Him king

• Fucking despises pickles but loves cucumbers

• Loves cats

• Japanese

• Goes by Asher or Ash

• Golden retriever boyfriend energy

• Favourite food is lasagna

• ^Had a Garfield hyperfixation^

• Loves Minecraft sm

• Made a server for the Squidbeak splatoon (even invited Craig Cuttlefish)

Thats it for today! Hope you enjoyed the Agent 4 Headcanons :]

I might do the others but no promises

[ascendthisday]

You Really Really Love Me

gif by veilofmegiddo

Paring(s): Satchel/Michael Starr

Word Count: 860~

Info: Pure Fluff, Men In Love, So Impossibly Clean, Like They Don't Even Kiss Clean, Short and Sweet, Brunch Dates

Summary: "You know what I've never understood?" Michael mused from across the small table. It was date night! Or, more so, date day as Satchel had taken him out for brunch. "Mm, what?" He half-heartedly asked as he grazed over the laminated menu placed in front of him. 

Authors Note: okay so this one is like... steel panther canon? idk what else to call it but they are NOT ralph and russ in this!!! it is the characters michael and satchel, not the guys behind them! ralph and russ dont even exist in this universe (depsite what the tags may make u think) once again i am the worst poster EVER but we're getting there! this is the most pg13 fic ever literally just boys being boys and going out for brunch! i have 2 other sp fics ill eventually post probably so be prepared

"You know what I've never understood?" Michael mused from across the small table. It was date night! Or, more so, date day as Satchel had taken him out for brunch. "Mm, what?" He half-heartedly asked as he grazed over the laminated menu placed in front of him. 

"Your hands! They're so, like, not right. I don't know how to describe it but your fingers are too short for you to play guitar the way you do." Satchel raised an eyebrow above his sunglasses, suddenly much more interested in the singer's miniature rant. "Not to be an asshole or anything- you'd just never expect it! When I tried to learn guitar, I gave up because my fingers were too short to comfortably hold the damn thing! It's just cool, I guess." 

"Seems like you spend a lot of time staring at my hands, stalker." Satchel chortled as he placed his flimsy menu in a stack on top of Michael's. He leaned forward on the square patio table as he rested his chin in his hand. As much as he jokingly argued with the man, he absolutely adored the blond-haired vocalist that sat in front of him. "Oh yeah, hard to not take notice when they're wrapped around my dick every night!" Michael wittily retorted, gazing back at the guitarist. Unfortunately for him, their waiter had returned just as his snarky reply had left his lips. 

"So, um, what will you gentlemen have today?" The waiter, Stacy as assigned by her nametag, staggered as she stared down at her notepad, just as white as the ruled paper she gawked at. "Oh! I will have an earl grey with a breakfast burrito and he," Satchel pointed across the table "will have a cappuccino with the fruity pancakes. Thank you, Stacy!" 

When Stacy had left their table after droning out their order, the two men burst into giggles. "God, I will never know how you guess exactly what I want to order! Did you get me the fruity pancakes because you knew I wanted them or did you just want to subtly call me gay?" Michael questioned as he played a show of mock horror. "Maybe a little bit of both." Satchel grinned as he ran a hand through his mane of hair. 

"Aw, c'mon jackass! I'm not even, like, that gay. If I'm gay, I'm like point five percent gay, and I reserve that percent for you!" Michael quipped as he lightly kicked the other man in the shin from across the table. It was so calm to just be them, no overbearing drummers or absent bassists, just Michael and Satchel. When things got rough, it always dwindled down to that. Their peers joked that they were some sort of power couple and they'd just laugh it off and snort a line or two, because how could anyone know how close they actually were? Everyone assumed the casual ass grabbing and borderline homo remarks were just for public appearances, to keep up that vaguely homosexual aura of the 80's. Plus, any sane man or woman would want of piece of Satchel's ass. It's a nice ass! 

"Hmm, yeah. Okay," Satchel sassed "anyways, your hair looks really pretty today. Dare I even say, it looks bitchin'." He motioned to the way the singer had pushed his bleach-blond hair back with the sunglasses resting on his head. He had pulled out the little waves by his ears, too. It made Satchel's heart ache. How could such a playboy be so fucking cute? "Aw, you love me! Thank you." Michael teased as he ran his fingers through the ends of his hair. "You look good, by the way. Thanks for shaving off your stubble because it irritates my face when we make out. That was sweet of you." The singer smiled at the gentle pink that flushed the guitarist's face. Satchel had never quite gotten used to the compliments despite how many he received. 

The guitarist simply replied with a little 'hmmph' sound and let a little smile peck at the corners of his mouth. Eventually, Stacy found her way back with armfuls of overpriced nutriments. For the money they had dropped on the food, it honestly didn't look half bad! Steam rose off of the two mugs that rested on separate saucers that clinked together when placed on the table. It was a chilly day, so the hot beverages fit their frozen states just perfectly. Despite the lack of warmth, the two men stayed local to their torn fishnet and spandex pants. 

"Fuck, I'm cold as shit!" Michael exclaimed, dramatically shivering. Since he hadn't brought a jacket with him to pull the stereotypical boyfriend move, Satchel stood up, scooted over his chair, and moved his belongings to the other side of the table. "It's not even that cold out, wuss." He mumbled as he placed his head on Michael's shoulder and snuggled up to the singer. "If anyone recognizes us, tell them I'm dead so we look less gay." Satchel talked to himself, unaware of the loving gaze the singer had focused on him. 

"I could get used to this, y'know?" Michael cooed as he sipped at his cappuccino.  

"Yeah. This is nice." 

[autisticsociologymajor]

The problem with color coded pumpkins

In case you haven’t seen, it’s a thing that children who go trick or treating might have a colored pumpkin. The point of this is that the color of the pumpkin is supposed to symbolize something about them.

I’m specifically talking about blue pumpkins for autism in this post.

Some online articles will say that blue or teal pumpkins are used to “bring awareness,” or “raise awareness for how Halloween affects ‘children with autism spectrum disorders’” (their words, not mine) or (this was literally one I just read) “a nonverbal way to communicate the child has ‘special needs’.”

The truth of the matter is that it doesn’t bring awareness to anything except the autistic child and the fact that they’re autistic.

Wtf do people think is going to happen??? WHY?? I would be fkn HUMILIATED if my parents made me walk around basically with a huge badge that told the world what I don’t want them to know about me (the fact I’m autistic) Fkn. Humiliated.

People generally DO NOT understand autism enough to give a dam anyways?!?! They will see that pumpkin and MAYBE know what it means. That absolutely does not stop them from being d!cks to the person trick or treating if they display autistic traits & the other person happens to not understand a dam thing about autism.

It puts a target on them. If enough people know what the color of their pumpkin means, it opens them up to a world of hate and discontent. Does nobody understand that?

V!0lence, bullying, exclusion, infantilization (yes, in a way you can infantilize autistic children, sorry not sorry)… how about the “autism isn’t real” people?? The ones who will straight up tell a child to their face that they aren’t autistic because they happen to not “believe in it”?? Or even more sinister, the ones who will try to take advantage, knowing through symbolism that the child may be more prone to gullibility?

Would you make your gay kid walk around with a rainbow pumpkin to tell everyone they’re gay? Your kid with POTS walk around with a turquoise pumpkin? Kid with IBS with a periwinkle pumpkin?

“It brings awareness!” TO WHAT?? If people are not going to research autism on their own, they’re not gonna research it just because they see a fkn blue pumpkin. Where’s the correlation?? Fkn awareness. To your child, yes. To autism, no. Absolutely not. Not in this hateful, disgusting society. Stop underestimating how “stuck in their own ways” and how uneducated non-autistic people are when it comes to their insignificant opinions about autism. They. Don’t. Care.

FOR EXAMPLE

A few kids came to my house today with blue pumpkins. The first was very early in the evening — a little girl who 1) didn’t say trick or treat and 2) didn’t hold out her blue pumpkin for me to put the candy in. She held her pumpkin closely and tightly with two hands in front of her. She just stared at me while her 5 siblings crowded around her. She was clearly visibly overwhelmed. And her parents were nowhere to be seen. Her oldest sibling must have been about 10-12yrs old.

Because I’m autistic & deeply understand what these situations feel like… how did I respond to her?

The first thing I saw was the god forsaken pumpkin. I said trick or treat to her and didn’t get all b!tchy and whiny when she didn’t say it back. I just kept on & asked her if she liked *this candy this candy or this candy*, held them out and let her point/nod at which she liked. I gave her candy first so she could walk to the end of my driveway first, away from her siblings who were clearly overwhelming her by crowding around her so tightly. When she didn’t hold her bucket out for ME, I came to HER. When she loudly shouted some phrase that her sibling immediately felt like telling me means “thank you” to her while she ran to the end of the driveway, I didn’t make it a point to turn it into a fkn issue that she didn’t say the words “thank you.” She said it in her own way.

How would a neurotypical who either knows nothing about autism or has outdated, biased opinions about autism possibly have responded to that girl?

Likely, they would’ve told her she can’t have candy until she says trick or treat or they would’ve somehow made it a point to bring awareness to the fact she didn’t say it. They might have ignored her completely. Or pointed out the fact she appeared as if she was in a “bad mood” in front of everybody. They would’ve responded to her with sourness and discontent. They likely would’ve given her candy last since they probably wouldn’t have liked her perceived “attitude.” Some a$$holes might have even tried to physically pull her pumpkin away from how closely she had it hugged to her body just to drop a piece of candy in it. And they most definitely would’ve made it a big deal that she didn’t say thank you as “thank you.” They most likely would’ve treated her with indifference or some degree of caution, and she likely would’ve noticed.

Imagine this happening to you several times in one night when you’re already overwhelmed. It doesn’t matter that she had a blue pumpkin. People do not understand autism. They do not care. They do not know how to accommodate or treat us with dignity & equity because they know NOTHING about us!! The us that is represented by US… NOT some fkn organization who claims they understand us yet won’t even allow our voices to be louder than theirs for a single fkn second.

Secondly, I live in a small town. There is one elementary school. One middle/high school. Kids she knows now will know her until if or when she or they move out of this town. There’s a very strong chance that kids she goes to school with saw her with her blue pumpkin. There’s a strong chance at least one of their parents recognized and drew ATTENTION to it with their own child/family. Not awareness. Attention. If one child in a small town knows something, so do the rest of them. If they didn’t already know, they do now. And kids can be mean. Especially to autistic kids.

Blue pumpkins don’t bring awareness to a dam thing. They draw attention to autistic children, and that attention often isn’t good attention. Even if it’s well intentioned… people still do not understand enough about us to know how to treat us right now. Even if they know about autism from awareness advertising, they do not understand. Knowing and understanding are completely different. And you never know who will understand and who will not.

[publicdomainbooksdevotee]

Everyone! Have the whole Mehitabel Dances with Boreas poem:

well boss i saw mehitabel last evening she was out in the alley dancing on the cold cobbles while the wild december wind blew through her frozen whiskers and as she danced she wailed and sang to herself uttering the fragments that rattled in her cold brain in part as follows

whirl mehitabel whirl spin mehitabel spin thank god you re a lady still if you have got a frozen skin blow wind out of the north to hell with being a pet my left front foot is brittle but there s life in the old dame yet dance mehitabel dance caper and shake a leg what little blood is left will fizz like wine in a keg wind come out of the north and pierce to the guts within but some day mehitabel s guts will string a violin moon you re as cold as a frozen skin of yellow banan that sticks in the frost and ice on top of a garbage can and you throw a shadow so chilly that it can scarcely leap dance shadow dance you ve got no place to sleep whistle a tune north wind on my hollow marrow bones i ll dance the time with three good feet here on the alley stones freeze you bloody december i never could stay a pet but i am a lady in spite of hell and there s life in the old dame yet whirl mehitabel whirl flirt your tail and spin dance to the tune your guts will cry when they string a violin eight of my lives are gone it s years since my fur was slicked but blow north wind blow i m damned if i am licked girls we was all of us ladies we was o wotthehell and once a lady always game by crikey blood will tell

i might be somebody s pet asleep by the fire on a rug but me i was always romantic i had the adventurous bug caper mehitabel caper leap shadow leap you gotto dance till the sun comes up for you got no place to sleep i might have been many a tom cat s wife but i got no regret i lived my life as i liked my life and there s pep in the old dame yet blow wind out of the north you cut like a piece of tin slice my guts into fiddle strings and we ll have a violin spin mehitabel spin you had a romantic past and you re gonna cash in dancing when you are croaked at last i will not eat tomorrow and i did not eat today but wotthehell i ask you the word is toujours gai whirl mehitabel whirl i once was a maltese pet till i went and got abducted and cripes i m a lady yet whirl mehitabel whirl and show your shadow how tonight it s dance with the bloody moon tomorrow the garbage scow whirl mehitabel whirl spin shadow spin the wind will pipe on your marrow bones your slats are a mandolin by cripes i have danced the shimmy in rooms as warm as a dream and gone to sleep on a cushion with a bellyfull of cream it s one day up and next day down i led a romantic life it was being abducted so many times as spoiled me for a wife dance mehitabel dance till your old bones fly apart i ain t got any regrets for i gave my life to my art whirl mehitabel whirl caper my girl and grin and pick at your guts with your frosty feet they re the strings of a violin girls we was all of us ladies until we went and feel and oncet a thoroughbred always game i ask you wotthehell it s last week up and this week down and always the devil to pay but cripes i was always the lady and the word is toujours gai be a tabby tame if you want somebody s pussy and pet the life i led was the life i liked and there s pep in the old dame yet whirl mehitabel whirl leap shadow leap you gotto dance till the sun comes up for you got no place to sleep archy