#Anyway very different vibes but I feel insane in a similar way to when I read The Thief

[daisywords]

just finished The Fifth Season and I'm insane now

[soft-and-exhausted]

Frozen Stage Musical thoughts 

December 2022 + October 2023  (because I forgot to make the initial post, so this is 2 for 1) 

disclaimer: Some of my 2023 additions are probably not really *new* but it's hard to remember everything... Anyway, here are the notes I took right after seeing the shows!  + This is neither coherent nor an analysis, mostly just reactions to a few things lol, not even going to mention the songs cause they ALL slap

ACT 1

- Sir Jörgenbjorgen! He's right there! But he's Anna's stuffie? What does that mean?? (also is Olaf frozen advenure canon again?) 

- Idunas scarf from F2!! Also right there! She's wearing it and then wraps Anna up in it after she is struck by Elsa's magic (love that) 

- Iduna tells the trolls that she's Northuldra! She's the one who calls them to help Anna (setting up F2) 

- Grand Pabi is uh not so gran anymore huh & Bulda says they love kids (raised a few of them themselves), and to bring Anna and Elsa around sometime 

- It was a choice (neutral) to make the trolls hot 

- Update: Idunna says they'll search far and wide for magical answers 

- Update: Also, the gloves Elsa wears? They were Idunas!  

- Update: And it looked like Iduna wanted to reply to Pabi asking "born or cursed" when Agnar interrupts and says "born" (I might have seen that wrong, but it made me think this is setting up F3??) 

- Olaf actually asks about "Samantha?" When Anna and Kristoff hear him in the woods, wondering who's talking as he joins in on looking for himself... haha (Update: he asks for Samantha during "In Summer")

- Anna and Hans dancing! All the choreography is amazing and wow, but they do this funny bit of doing different (modern) dance moves together and it's pretty endearing 

- when Anna tells Hans "I'm not the heir. I'm just the spare" referencing the outtake song that helped develop her character!! (Update: this hit the West End audience way different post-Prince Harry's book "Spare" and was hilarious!) 

- Costumes!! HOLY SHIT, the details the materials the glitter in Elsa's ice, all of it is insane and regal and beautiful, and so well thought out I want a huge artbook with all the details, please 

- Anna (Stephanie McKeon) could totally play Galinda; very Chenoweth voice qualities??? (Update: I got Gabrielle from Xena vibes for some reason, idk (Anna was Laura Dawkes)) 

- Wow they are doing amazing with the ice and the million and one backdrops! Insane! Also with the lights?! It's magical! 

- Update: Oh my god Elsa (Laura Emmit) is so tiny and petite, the different statues of actresses always add a different flavour to the character design somehow? (Like it is so fun with Glinda and Elphaba and what their height difference will be each time) (I love everything unique an actress/actor will bring to their role) 

- Elsa is like 10x more regal? I can't explain it but she very much feels like she's living in a piece of historical fiction more so than a fairytale. but I love it, it's brilliant and adds some layers too, she's so poised in the first act and polite and nods at the court like that(TM) 

- more amazing dancing moments  

- The Duke of Weselton calls Elsa pretty in a weird way while asking her to dance and later calls her "just a little girl" and lets out some sexism that women are weak, which is very in character and another addition to how the stage musical feels more realistic in a way? Or at least caters more towards adults 

- he also says something VERY similar to Atohallen's memory of Elsa's grandfather; that magic is unnatural and uh I forgot the actual wording, but he essentially said the same thing = nothing good comes of magic (especially in the hands of a woman) (yes he says that) 

- idk if Sven is amazing, cute and perfect or uncannily creepy lmao but gotta love him! Olaf is obviously perfectly recreated! (Update: Sven is so cute oh my god) (also Mikayla Jade is the first woman to ever play the role! She's a really cool stunt performer!) 

- Anna is VERY flirty with Hans lmao, girl is so thirsty (the way she touched that statue's tits in "for the first time in forever" ahahaha) (Update: girl is so horny, all those adult jokes, did she actually get more horny this time? Bless her) 

- Update: They don't make blorbos like Elsa anymore, for real 

- Anna's snow outfit is so cute!!! With her hair open? And the hat and all that... 

- Still gagging at the dress change in Let it go!

ACT 2

- Bulda asks if Anna doesn't want to marry Kristoff because of how she raised him, further solidifying how the trolls are his family 

- PLUS when he joins the trolls dance! Because he KNOWS it! Wonderful moment (also wonderful when Anna starts joining in, all of her dances are so sweet and fun and Anna's love language is dance, I don't take criticism)

- child Anna's cast also played the baby troll during fixer-upper upper and it's the cutest scenes! 

- Weselton and Hans both actually said they wanted to kill Elsa! Like the word kill has been said twice (2), and I just didn't expect it because Disney movies do like to dance around that one- it's really intense 

- Elsa's pants and corset combo in the second act looked cool in pictures online, but seeing it irl? in the third row? Holy shit it's stunning! Her let it go dress too of course, but she looked amazing in this new outfit wow - the detail - (this is the part where I don't talk about how the corset, respectfully, she was just very stunning and wow Samantha Barks had the smallest waist ever known to man in that thing!) 

- God those costumes are siccccc, a lot of this musical feels like historical fiction and is so so well thought out! The dances and songs and ten thousand backdrops are INSANE 

- Instead of being knocked out by the falling chandelier, Elsa goes with the guards willingly, and they handcuff her on the spot (at the ice palace) Which is... a blow to my heart to say the least, but makes sense! She just asks to be taken to Anna, to make sure she's safe... being handcuffed and dragged off is perfectly reasonable for her! 

- Update: 

Weselton: "Even the queen is shivering"  Elsa: "I'm not cold"  Hans: "She's scared" 

- the entire scene where Anna freezes to death (that also resembled dangerous to dream with the ensamble lifting Anna up; as the spotlight of Elsa's attention) was phenomenally choreographed and I have no words!! 

TLDR: It's too mind-blowingly amazing for words, and so incredibly thought out! And it's a little more grown up too, adding some layers and fleshing out bits and bobs that I really enjoyed 

[the-backspin-alchemist]

where are you at in worlds beyond number?

After today’s commute, I am at the very beginning of Episode 11 and things are *T E N S E*

Love the show, though. I’m currently bouncing back and forth between this and Murder She Rolled, and they’re both very different actual-plays in terms of setting and style and vibe, but in both instances the players and DMs bring the whole thing alive in a very fun and engaging way where it’s both sitting at the table while these people all have a ton of fun playing DND, and also a very immersive story that you get attached to very quickly.

Sorry I’ve been flipped into Gush About Stuff I’m Listening To Mode, I’m gonna ramble and gush about these podcasts for a bit now.

Alan Seawright in MSR is great at bouncing off of everyone at the table and flipping the switch between being the action hero in a serious way and an action hero in a comedic way, and basically everyone else at the table has picked up on that seemingly from the beginning, and it’s great. If you like…dark comedy and eldritch horror, it’s very fun.

Now.

Worlds Beyond Number is four heavyweight DND champions (both in actual-play settings and in terms of DND advice and design and generally being people present in the culture).

First off. @quiddie is a genius. Because she did something I now desperately want to try in the future, which is create inter-party tension by creating Suvi as a character that is intensely devoted to both her friends/adoptive family, but also to this place that she has now been raised and shaped by for the majority of her formative years that is set in opposition to what sort of ways Ame and Eursulon come from.

Second off, Erika Ishii as Ame is amazing, and a very fun way of playing…what I think is a Druid with some tweaks? It’s such a fun way of approaching what feels like the same class set but from a direction I absolutely would never have thought of and it’s amazing, I wanna try it now in a future game if I get the chance. Also Erika’s great, they’re amazing at interacting with everyone and keeping the lighthearted stuff lighthearted but also being able to drop into drama when needed (as has happened in the last few episodes quick specifically).

Lou Wilson as Eursulon is the sleeper hit of the show. For sure. And I am astounded by how well Lou managed to make it happen naturally. Because early on the episodes focus more on Suvi and Ame finding each other and going to find him with a quest focused on Ame and a lot of tension from Suvi’s background coming into play and being utilized to get things rolling, and then…Port Talon happens. And you realize he’s not been playing this dude that’s seemingly hit rock bottom and is ashamed of being taken advantage of as the new guy in town one too many times despite trying to live up to this *impossible* ideal, and he pulls out all these great character moments that build right to where I’m at where he’s been shamed by this great spirit for what he wanted to be and leaving his old world behind, and having finally clawed back what he could to reach what they set out to do he has to make a *choice* now, and he’s clearly struggling with what that choice is in the face of his friends’ lives being in danger and his old ideals coming back to give him pause about what he’s been doing and just…*gods* he’s possibly going to be my favorite at this rate? He’s playing a very similar character arc to what I wanted Jace to have when I played him in the campaign I played in with @charlezarrd, only…*way* more, and it’s amazing.

Also BLeeM’gan is an insanely good GM, this probably doesn’t need saying given his reputation, but it bears mentioning anyways. He’s crafted an insanely deep world that’s immersive and feels alive in a way that is…not easily describable.

And also him as the Fox is the best. The Fox is my other favorite character. He’s so good.

(Also Will Gallows might be my new favorite criminal mastermind, TBQH)

Anyways yeah Worlds Beyond Number is great! The only reason I’m not fully caught up up yet is because Murder She Rolled is also great!

(TBQH I would love to see Alan Seawright and the e rest do the MSR crew get thrown at the WBN crew, because I think it would be total chaos in the best way)

[honeycollectswhump]

Things End | People Change – Healing

to the surprise of literally no one, i've been insane about vincent again... enjoy the result of that: a continuation of this!! i guess this is a slight spoiler for @whumpcloud's story? but rather for the vibe than specific plot points

CW: implied / undertones of past sa, references to past torture and starvation

There it is again. The thing, the wobbly metal plate Vincent has come to think of as a weird mirror. It’s the best he’ll get anyway, even though he likes to steal glances at the way modern mirrors are shaped and designed so very differently than what he grew up with. He is denied any grace of a reflection though, another trade for immortality and power he thought so simple. And yet…

Sometimes when he sees Clary’s reflection, her posture held high and proud, just like she should be, Vincent’s mind drifts, wishing for a similar soul that would allow him to see himself as he is. Unlike before though, he doesn’t dwell on it. The knowledge simply is, passing briefly through him, but barely leaving an impact.

Now, he’s in front of his almost-mirror, that twists and turns his shape and everything around him, that Cai got rid of again after what happened the first and last time Vincent had it in his room. The dent –a reminder of what happened– is still visible, distorting the reflections even more. It surprises him that Cai didn’t throw it away and instead just disposed of it in this room, that holds so many memories but mostly also old possessions they can’t seem to bring themselves to get rid of. 

Today, the twins have decided to declutter and Vincent is more than delighted to help. Maybe his vampiric strength couldn’t protect him, but now it can help with the mundane chores that come with everyday life, and maybe that's worth something more too.

Which is how he ended up here, once again face to face with his own warped reflection, and he can’t help but stare. He looks…different?

Logically, Vincent knows he shouldn’t look the same as he did after years of starvation and torture, that he prefers to bury in some dark corner of his mind. But without a reliable method of visualising himself, and too afraid of appearing eternally, cursedly bloodstained, he never dwelled too long on how his body might look, never even debated asking Clary or Cai. It was for the better that way. 

He’s not bloodsoaked though, his hands are not stained with ash sticking to him like goo, the scars where he ripped his own skin off in an attempt to cleanse himself of the reminder are long gone.

Instead, as he steps forward to take a closer look, he finds that his face seems softer. Gone are the hard edges carved by malnutrition, the sunken-in eyes setting shadows over what remains of Henry. His now rounded jawline is a stark contrast to what it used to be, and together with his slightly plump cheeks, feign a picture of youth.  Against all odds and the passing of centuries, he feels like twenty-two again, when he was still unburdened with immortality and foolishly wishing for a change. 

His hair is changed too, though he consciously worked towards that. He knows from the way it feels, his curls finally getting defined, the length cut regularly. It takes work, but it feels nice, so nice to finally have something only he can control.

Suddenly, a stray thought overcomes him, and Vincent sheepishly looks around for any onlookers, even though his vampiric hearing already tells him that the twins are busy in the living room. Hesitantly, almost afraid of what he will see, Vincent lifts his jumper up.

Maybe he should feel embarrassed at such a childish action, but right now his curiosity overwhelms any sort of shame. 

He chose the jumper by himself too, just like he decides how his hair looks, even though Clary said it makes him look like a grandfather, said that he is finally acting his age. Before, he would have scrambled to rip the fabric off of his body in a desperate attempt to please her again, but now he knows that she is joking. It feels good to know.

His skin is more lifelike, a blush shining through the paleness that makes him look like a dead man. It’s not just that though. Where once protruding ribs used to sit, he can’t even see his bones now, not even a hint when he stretches. It’s a hard-earned layer of fat, chubbiness he’d never take for granted

All of it is both a gift and a symbol, showing the care of feeding him every single day even when it comes at a cost to the twins. He can’t even remember the last time someone showed him such consideration, and it must have been back with Henry, two lifetimes ago, but now that thought doesn’t fill him with the same sadness anymore that it did before. 

He is not just grieving something of the past. Care was given once before and it will be given again, no matter how unlikely that still feels to him. Every moment he spends with Clary shows him that. Despite it all, life became good again.

It feels almost easy to believe, that his flesh and skin are ignorant of what happened, that the memory went past them like a light breeze, leaving no mark. Like seeking a thrill, Vincent looks for the imprints he once saw, collaring his neck, tainting his heart and hips. He–

He can find none.

Like a piece of paper left blank, he feels oddly empty. Even without seeing them, he had grown accustomed to expecting them there. The knowledge painting a clear picture spoken in dark, hand-shaped prints holding onto him forever. Something even death could never erase, and yet… And yet he finds himself devoid of such things, finds himself almost—

He cannot finish that thought, cannot think further, not yet. 

The curiosity that had taken hold of him made room for a wondrous disbelieve. Vincent looks closer, he finally does, expecting to see contradictions to the fickle hope bubbling in his chest like a new heart.

Another person stares back. 

Not the timid boy, with his eternally lowered gaze for reasons he couldn’t understand, hunching his back to make himself as unassuming as possible, always, next to everyone else. Born soft and squishy just to force himself into a rigid form, fitting in with expectations he could never hold, his spine bending under the weight. That never changed, not even after becoming a vampire, especially not with Lyfelde. One head held up high, the other forcefully pushed down. 

That’s not who he sees, though. Instead, he sees a young man, standing straight, only bending through the warbling mirror. There is a shine in his Henry-green eyes, and for a moment Vincent thinks that if someone were to look in his face, they’d notice his eyes first and the scar second. Maybe, the scar wouldn’t catch their attention at all. 

He can’t remember the last time was allowed to look this soft, the last time he allowed it himself. It goes beyond his rounded cheeks that bring back an air of innocent youth, beyond the comfy sweaters with the good texture. It’s the smile that comes to him easier, the glimmer it brings to his eyes, the silly laugh at stupid things he isn’t afraid to hide. It’s the piles of books, old and new, about linguistics, and the evenings where Clary listens to his rambles. It’s that somehow, before this moment, he had never noticed it all like this, never noticed the meaning beyond the thankfulness that occasionally overwhelms him.

It’s that all of this has never been touched by Lyfelde.

Maybe some of his impact will never leave Vincent, like the honour of creating the last scar his body could ever remember. Maybe he will never be who he was before Lyfelde. But, and the thought makes him feel almost giddy, he is not who he was with Lyfelde anymore either. A metamorphosis maybe, two- or threefold, a life categorised by before’s and after’s but never always’.  

Vincent hopes –victoriously–, that if Lyfelde saw him today, with all of his joy, and love, and caring friends that are starting to feel like family, he would be unrecognisable to him.

[hms-no-fun]

i remember a while back you saying in one of these asks that you didnt find classpects that interesting as a writing tool (or something similar, i don’t remember the exact wording) but you seem to be referring to them significantly more since then, both textally in godfeels and when you’ve discussed the work like in these asks - has anything changed in your perspective on them?

astute observation!

so, i don't find classpects particularly interesting as a writing tool. i'm not a big fan of mapping out a character beforehand, engaging in that sort of reverse personality quiz process of defining their wants, their needs, their astrological sign, etc. no hate to anyone who does, but for me it's far more interesting to just let the character decide that stuff for themselves. it's the same process of discovery i apply to the rest of godfeels, which is admittedly a sort of insane way to work and probably shouldn't be taken as an example.

so that's a very specific definition of "writing tool" that maybe isn't what other people are thinking of. i can get didactic about these things because i don't like writing advice or things that seem like writing advice if you squint.

you're right though that classpects are more at the front of my mind than they used to be. part of it is just that classpects are about to be a lot more actively relevant to the narrative (albeit not in the way you would expect), so i've obviously been thinking about them more. which, you know, those thoughts do naturally generate fiction activity which shapes how i intend to write future chapters-- in that sense, are classpects not a useful "writing tool" for me? i dunno.

it's not even that i find them more meaningful structurally. i think giving someone a title and then building their character around it is a great way to come up with wooden characters. in the case of the upsilon kids (who you will be meeting very soon), their classpects emerged through writing a bunch of little test scenes. i'd put them in a room together and give them something to react to. i really want to avoid conventional group dynamics with this crew, so i always pushed them to behave in messy ways. and over time it became apparent that what makes them work is their seeming incompatibility, which i shouldn't say much more about until you've actually got some material to draw your own conclusions from. but the point is, it wasn't until i got a good handle on each kid's vibe that i assigned them their classpects, and i assigned them in a way that was deliberately "underwhelming" or seemingly a bad fit. i did this because i don't like the narratological determinism that can arise when you give a character a title they like too much.

i don't like giving writing advice but i highly encourage young writers out there to not be afraid of writing unusable scenes. it helps to be able to think of the writing in the early planning stages as, in some sense, disposable. because the prose isn't the point-- it's getting to the characters as you understand them. there's so many scenes i've written that will not make it into godfeels proper without significant alteration if at all! and look, i know how it is when you feel like you can barely write, so every word you manage to get on the page is precious and needs to be preserved towards the Final Product. sometimes that's correct! precious things always emerge in this process. but it's nowhere near as many as you think, and the hard lesson is understanding the difference between precious and enjoyable. just because you enjoy the thing doesn't make it right for the story. even pretty trash belongs in the bin eventually.

but again, it isn't wasted work. the words aren't the goal, they're just a happy accident. the real work happens in your head.

uh shit anyway so for instance Dana Straten's classpect is Knight of Mind. i must admit she's an outlier among the upsilons in that i picked her classpect in the gf3 prologue with an understanding of her character that was vastly different from who she would end up becoming. back then all i knew about the upsilons was they'd be Dana, Jade's as-yet unnamed daughter, and two others. for a long time, once Julia came in and really breathed life into Dana, i was convinced that Knight of Mind was just wrong. it was a bad choice for her, it didn't make sense, she should have been something else that had cooler power implications and i should just retcon it to something better before anybody notices. this worry resulted in a lot of conversations with my collaborators, ultimately concluding that it was more fun to just play with the hand i'd unwittingly dealt us. so we took the Dana we felt and asked her what Knight of Mind meant to her, figuratively speaking. wrote some scenes, had more conversations. Julia and i have spent a LOT of time discussing Dana's whole situation.

the thing about this is that i don't think our idea of her changed all that much between when she came into her own in like march/april 2021 and when she properly entered the story in summer 2022 (god it feels like that gap should be a lot longer, but i double checked and it's right). much of what we already implicitly understood about Dana remained true. but through our discussions and test scenes, we were able to define those truths in some really useful ways. it was through this process that we textually solidified Dana as someone who doesn't have cool powers, at least not flashy ones anyway. Dana's weapon is her mind-- the ability to use her razor sharp clarity of perception to act on many different forms of knowledge at once. she's not a mind control person, she's not a seeing all eventualities person, she's just a really smart punch person. Knight of Mind, it turns out, was perfect for her, because she doesn't need it. and that realization was very much why i tried to create a similar dynamic with the rest of the upsilons.

so again we ask, does that not make classpects a useful "writing tool" for me? again i answer, i dunno. i don't really care. it's just the process to me. all of it is just the process.

maybe that points to why i was so free with referring to Rose in short as Seer of Mind in that ask. having reached the endpoint of Rose's role in this story, i finally understand what Seer of Light means for her (in godfeels, at any rate). it's that she saw the truth of how the narrative was changing and accepted that it wasn't for her. as in, she saw the light at the end of the tunnel and chose to walk towards it. it's become a shorthand for Rose, you see? i say "Seer of Light" the way i say the name of a friend who was really more of an acquaintance realistically speaking, like we only hung out a couple times a few years ago, but we hit it off so well every time that i was always like "man, i wish we could hang out all the time, we'd be great friends" but just, for one reason or another, it never quite lined up for that to happen. the name of a beloved missed connection, perhaps...

i guess, basically, to put a bow on this: i try not to think about classpects until the character in question is real enough in my mind that they define it rather than the other way around. once again i have no idea if this makes any kind of sense procedurally or if i'm just making my life harder by being stubborn. but then again, the only writing advice any writer can ever give you is how to write the things they already wrote, so

[thewertsearch]

Asks Compilation 11/12

I never considered that Aradia could be feeling sincere gratitude towards Equius - that's a good point, and might partially explain her flushed feelings for him. Similarly, I never thought about how difficult and impractical a relationship would be for Equius, given he has this kind of strength paired with this kind of dexterity.

Anyway, I half-agree with your thesis. I can imagine a hypothetical kismesissitude between an older, more mature Equius and Aradia, and I think that relationship could potentially be healthy, for the reasons you describe.

But the one we're getting is doomed from the start - Equius's mind-control shenanigans have pretty much torpedoed the whole thing. I don't think he can have a healthy relationship until he figures out why that was wrong.

I'll give you a freebie right now - most of the Jojo villains would fit right in with the Felt!

Yeah, it's not like romantic rivalry is a new idea. Really, the more I think about it, the more I think Hussie's riffing on real relationship tropes with all the quadrants.

Hell, I could probably list some fictional characters that work pretty well as Moirails - and I'm not just talking about The Locked Tomb!

[ sent when you posted your troll ranking! - C ]

She's the best, she's the worst, and she's destined for great terrible things.

Sorry Eridan - someone had to nab last place!

He does have a great design. The cape and scarf work well together - I can see how he'd be easy and fun to cosplay.

We have two opposing views here, and they both make good arguments. Aristocrats do tend to be egotistical by nature - but Alternia would expect him to act that way, even if it wasn't his natural tendency.

I personally don't think Eridan ever intended to exterminate the land-dwellers, but I'm not sure he ever realized that himself.

Don't forget Insane Clown Hussie, which is when your webcomic author keeps putting more harlequins in their story.

Toby, what are you doing back in my ask box? Get outta here, you scamp!

Ayy!

It's funny, I never considered that many people are reading through the liveblog/chrono/ tag. I'm almost never on my blog's page; I see it through the dashboard!

Happy belated birthdays, Jade, Dave, and, Rose!

Odd. It really looks like John's birthday should be December 2nd. Maybe something went wrong with his meteor.

The Newtonverse is a corruption of Homestuck, but Homestuck is already a parody of a million other things. It's one layer too deep, and feels 'wrong' as a result.

Unless Cool and New Webcomic is a similar style of parody, in which case, who knows? Maybe the Newtonverse is simply real, and trying to break into our reality.

Yeah, that makes sense. She certainly looks like a classic eldritch monster.

I can't see the commentary - I assume because some of it contains spoilers. For comments that don't spoil anything, feel free to send them along.

It's always very tempting to check out other livebloggers so I can compare and contrast. I won't, though - quite aside from any worries about spoilers, I just don't want to influence my own opinions!

This has always been a blind spot with me, and it always will be. Try as I might, I will never recognize the difference between Rouge and Rouge.

I knew the comic had about 8000 pages, but it's good to know it clocks in at 8128.

It annoys me more than it should that it's not 2^13, or 8192. It would have been a nice round number to finish on!

Thank you, and welcome!

Eridan's beliefs don't really make sense - but it makes sense that they don't. It's bigotry, after all.

He knows trolls like Kanaya, and can clearly see that there's nothing inferior about her - but he can't let go of what he's been taught, so he just doesn't address it, and continues on as normal.

This comic is damn long, so it's a fun reference to make.

I'd probably pick one. No special reason - I just sort of vibe with the number, and it's the closest to something kooky like zero, or a negative number.

I would have picked the cueball, but I don't think I want Scratch as a rival...

Ok, that's fair, actually.

I love how she's trying to 'cull' them.

It's a good bit. I wonder if this means Hussie's trollsona is a green-blood, like Kanaya?

Read it!

It's not intended to! The others all link to the post where the work was recommended to me, but Con Air wasn't recommended - it's just a movie slightly relevant to Homestuck. I have it up there for completeness, and it's underlined for consistency.

[drewsaturday]

i've had such a weird relationship with making fanon things lately for a few diff reasons i think.

i haven't rly been inspired enough to take things beyond my thoughts and make an actual thing out of them. part of this is probs bc of my medication. the other part is that...

i don't have the time to dig too deeply into my favorite things rn. this means i don't dig up new parts to feel excited about, i don't feel Qualified to carry those ideas out bc my understanding of the source material is so limited and people expect waaaay too much quality from fanworks these days, and i feel like i'll never be able to finish what i start anyway.

lastly, i've been doing fandom so repetitively i'm just... tired? of the same thing over and over again. i work on a thing, i polish the thing, i post the thing, i wait for feedback that is either nice/mean/empty, rinse and repeat. the solution would be to just not post these things, but why go through all that effort to carry something up out of an idea stage then since that's what makes me most excited? and if i spend the time drafting, it feels like a waste of time since it's not going to go anywhere.

i do think a lot of this is medication, because it dulls Just how insane i am capable of getting about a thing. in the past i would have sooo much drive because i felt like if i didn't make a thing, i'd explode. i don't rly get that anymore, at least not in a big enough burst to keep me working on things very long.

i've instead been thinking a lot about diving into original content because... although i make everything for fun, i think original stuff has way less of the above issues attached.

there's no time limit. i'm not... "competing" for being able to get an idea done first, or trying to get a fanfic out while there's still hype over a show, or worrying about my work being ooc compared to someone else's, or worrying the fandom landscape i vibe with is going to change when people move on.

it's theoretically not as repetitive. i'm sure the things i'm interested in shows are similar to what i come up with from my brain, and i could just try to make different things for fandom than i'm used to. but i am kind of tired of my inability to do anything besides hurt/comfort oneshots for the same kind of pairing over and over again. this would force me to actually develop other shit too lmfao.

it's Technically something i could profit off of if i really wanted to, making it less of a waste of time. for fandom, it feels like a waste of time if i'm not putting a fanon thing out for other fans to see. it also feels like i put a ton of work into my own little understanding of a show--fleshing out backstories and worldbuilding etc. so if i move onto another fandom... it feels like it was all for nothing, esp if i don't make something from it all. ideally i would be doing it just for the fun but there needs to be some balance with what i consider pay-off. and since i usually don't stay motivated long enough to do these big huge projects, or people move on, or other people do the idea first because i work so slow, it's just gotten rly un-motivating.

there's like, layers of motivation imo. i like a thing and i get excitement about making stuff for it and exploring certain parts of it. and i can do that for myself, but to make it stand on its own enough to post for other people to see isn't something i currently get enough motivation for. and because of that, it makes the fun part feel like a waste of time i guess.

i usually stay away from my own original stuff bc i honestly just don't feel the level of excitement with it as i have felt with fandom in the past, and... it's just harder lmao? but i think it would be good for me to at least fuck around with it.

fandom started as a vessel for creativity for me. i wanted to make videos, it gave me footage. i wanted to draw, it gave me designs for characters. i wanted to write, it gave me a sandbox to play in. and i still find those things fun, but i guess it just feels like i'm limiting myself by only playing with other people's dolls in a public park for all to see. like i'm just not as connected to the Making part as a hobby or to the parts of myself i would put into it.

idk, i am just rambling and i think honestly if i Did have more time it would help take a lot of the above pressures and risks away and balance me out so that making silly little fanfics sometimes would feel more worth it because i'd feel free to do other things as well.

i also do sort of get glued to the screen when i'm in mode of making and posting things and i'd like to uhhh. do other things with my life too sometimes lmfao. part of this boredom does probably stem from being chronically ill and therefore barely leaving my house. i haven't been able to do other things beyond fanon creations in years. so no wonder i'd feel less inspired and more bored.

i also think i've gotten tired of watching things feeling like a chore. oh shit i need to write down this scene so i can use it on a fanvid, or make sure i take note of this piece of dialogue for this character's backstory, etc. i know i bitch about how i don't hate the word "content creator" bc it is just an easier catch-all for me as someone who makes lots of diff things, and i still agree with that, but i do think because of my own levels of perfectionism, mixed with honestly how weirdly expectant of quality fandom has become, it's become a chore to engage with source material.

another thing is i've always felt like i've needed a purpose in what i've made and that purpose tends to be justified by the community interactions. it makes me feel less lonely and it helps me feel inspired and like... it doesn't hurt to know you'll get feedback on something because you've found so many supportive friends in it. i rly just haven't landed in any new communities i vibe with a ton for the things ive gotten into lately, so there's less motivation there. that's not to say anyone's Bad, just... discord servers are too big, tags are too dead or all over the place, i don't message people to become friends, and the communities and friends i do have from fandom are all kinda doing different things rn, etc.

the other form of purpose would be challenges--exchanges, bingos, etc. this fanwork isn't just a random thing for fun, it has a reason for me to work on it enough to let it see the light of day. and i think i've kinda broken my brain a bit using those for motivation so much, but the alternative would be to never get anything into a publishable state, but without it being a publishable state and interacting with communities through it there's no reason for me to really spend all that much time on it in the first place, which means i'm really not getting to Create.

i think the biggest issue these days if every part of the creative process now feels like it's "for show" and original stuff that has literally no audience is the only way to kinda undo the amount of rules that's put on me and my creativity.

tl;dr i'm just not feeling the same fulfillment from making fanon stuff as i used to so i guess i need to experiment with making other things so i can still do the Making part and see where that lands me, and see if it can help undo some of the toxic mentalities being an exclusively fandom girlie for so long has kinda instilled in me.

i'm sure i'll still make fanon shit every so often--i honestly have been so busy that output won't be noticeably different from my usual once every five months contributions. i just need to get back into the right blend of circumstances for it to feel worth it, and until then i guess i need to dig out the dolls from my own attic instead of someone else's so i can have a less complicated vessel for creative hobbies because i'm fairly certain i'd still like to create.

[liauditore]

The thoughts, hand em over. (No pressure but I wanna hear em :D)

oh god what have u done.

context.

OK SO,. (BE WARNED THIS IS LIKE. REALLY LONG AND BRAINROTTY.)

first off i must put here as per the law i am not in fact armchair psychoanalysing mc youtubers grian and mister scott S. major this is me looking at the 3L series as is it were a performance and their actions in said series as characters and blah blah blah so on so forth this is Fanfiction and Shipping and woowoOOwoo We Are Being Sillyyy with a miku song.

i'm gonna infodump abt a bunch of stuff including some heavy topics like emotional abuse and dubcon (NOT in detail the song just has those vibes)

so uh if you're reading this for Some Reason know that 👍

ALRIGHT WITH THAT OUT OF THE WAY Vampire the song itself is (at least my reading of it) a song about a toxic relationship. The singer is very much not a Good Person and the main chorus is just them disregarding their partner's needs and pushing the relationship even further.

But the singer isn't completely irredeemably evil, since they really do love the person they're abusing (in a childish sense of the word love, anyway) and seem to be at least acutely aware of how they're not really a good person.

But of course, they "eh whatever" these self-reflections pretty fast cus they're having fun with the relationship. This specific set of translyrics reads to me like a bit of self-victimizing as well like "oh, I'm so tortured by feeling like a bad person because of the way I treat you. But I love you so you don't really have a choice but to forgive me."

Speaking of translyrics this is where Micchi's version comes in. While I ADORE Rachie and Anthong's version I do have some nitpicks..? And one of those that I am unreasonably pet peeved by is this right here.

In the original JP version, the lyric is simply kimi mo vampire, meaning simply You're (also) a Vampire. It's alot more obvious a change and hits harder imo than "My little Vampire" which still puts the singer in the position of power.

Micchi's version of the lyrics on the other hand stick a lot closer to the original

And I might just be imagining this but there seems to be a switch in the power dynamic in this version as well. The singer is now inviting their partner to be "rough" with them and the repeating mantra of "you're the ONLY ONE for me" sounds more desperate than anything else.

Micchi's lyrics in general are a bit more wet cat coded. I still prefer Rachie's as a whole but Micchi's singer definitely seems to be more regretful of what they've done and blame themselves for essentially turning their partner into a different, more hostile person. (aka turning them into a vampire lol)

In a lot of ways the vampire metaphor is really unsubtle. Bloodsucking parasite attaches themselves to someone and turns them into a bloodsucking parasite as well.

SO HOW THE FUCK DID I GET GRAIN AND SCOOTER FROM THIS WELL.....

When I think about 3L one of the main things that lights up the lightbulb in my mind is the parallels between all of the four "main" partnerships, with Renchantyn vs Desert Duo as the most obvious comparison point but I think they all mirror and subvert each other really well.

Grian/Scott are like birds of a feather to me in a similar sense that Scott/Cleo are, but while Scott and Cleo have this mutual understanding with each other with Grian it's a bit more complicated.

I CAN't. FOR THE LIFE OF ME. FIND IT AGAIN bUT there was a bit in Third Life when Scott said to Grian "and maybe once our husbands are dead we can be free" and Grian laughs and that basically inspired this Whole Thing 🙏🙏

(an apology for all the wholesome flower husbands shippers who i know follow me cus im about to unleash my full toxic yaoi adaptation of them) (desert duo fans from what ive seen are already insane so you're okay)

In my own mind Grian and Scott are both somewhat.. manipulative? Might be a bit harsh of a word? But they definitely play to survive more than some of the other people stuck in there with them. (cleo too but she sucks at it and she can get her character analysis essay next week)

At least in my view, their partnerships with Jimmy and Scar respectively were born more out of a need for safety in numbers and to get someone to essentially keep them safe until they're no longer of use. Grian definitely felt bad about creeper-ing Scar in the first episode but I don't think he was quite expecting to spend the whole series in debt to him 😭😭

Scott (like the singer in the song oh my god) isn't really a monster so to speak, just someone who has a messed up view of love. Probably has some sort of tragic backstory that explains the way he is that we'll get to see in the anime adaptation idk. He does care for Jimmy but in like.. the way someone might care for and love a pet. You LOVE your dog to fucking death but you wouldn't like.. trust your dog with taxes or respect its autonomy.

also these lyrics are both hilarious to me considering the uh current brainrot.

Grian on the other hand probably Wants to be like Scott and be able to have someone wrapped around his fingers like that but he can't cus it's Scar not Jimmy and he's Grian and not Scott. I imagine he'd get tired of Scar's shenanigans when he's with him but as soon as he's left the room it's all why's it so quiet D: where's scar D:

I like to think that everytime he THINKS he has a handle on Scar finally and can actually stand a chance to survive this thing Scar does something completely unhinged off the wall and Grian's like WAIT WAIT WAIT NO

basically he gets way too attached and doesn't like it and to make it worse he has no idea wtf is going thru Scar's head👍

SO when they eventually team up I think Scott and Grian would have this little "wink wink nudge nudge they don't know" kinda thing going on.

and then in my little fanfiction world somewhere along the line Scott would end up sensing that Oh, We're actually not exactly the same.. interesting.. and kind of start looking at Grian with this sense of amusement/pity cus aww, look at you getting all attached to the person you were planning to betray, that's so cute and Grian would see the worst of himself reflected back to him via Scott. It ends up strengthening Desert Duo's relationship if anything else.

Of course then Jimmy dies and Scott's emotionally destroyed by it but he's still like.. skirting around it. I'd like to think he gaslights himself with any genuine Emotions he has cus like.. he knew this was coming, this is all according to plan, so why would he feel anything for him now that he's gone?

While Scott gets some time to come to terms with the fact that he actually cared about Jimmy too late for him to repair their relationship Grian and Scar end up punching eachother to death in a cactus ring. The End 👍

tl;dr i need to pick up writing fanfics cus oh my god

[pocketramblr]

Okay wait i love how you fixed the shoe thing bc the concept of that was always insane to me but i also liked some of what people were doing with it so i was really conflicted. Is there some other way that izuku might be able to deduct that shigaraki used to be quirkless maybe? Bc i always loved that part of it even if i thought the journey to get there was ridiculous

The conflicted feelings are so real like it would be a fun connection if it was real and obviously fic writers can do whatever they want but also. That's a Nike high top and a Converse low top they're literally already fun foils of each other- opposite styles and competing manufactures despite the vibe, same color, and being made of similar materials... just like the people wearing them... without adding something that isn't there... Anyway

Yeah I think there's other ways to get Izuku to deduce Shigaraki was quirkless! Especially once he knows about AfO because if there's no record of any quirk like decay on the registration (which UA teachers say there isn't) and he knows Shigaraki is working for a very old villain who can take and give quirks? OF COURSE he's going to at least consider the possibility that decay was given by AfO. Now, how do we get him to then think that Shigaraki was quirkless before that?

Well, we can just extend the conversation in the mall- Izuku already asked about AfO, so maybe when he's asking Shigaraki about his motive compared to Stain, he also asks why he's working for AfO - did he trade something to get decay? Shigaraki would probably be a bit thrown, and then hurry to say that decay is his own quirk, and then maybe Izuku could see how Shigaraki could easily be treated badly and have to turn to AfO with that quirk but... His answer was kind of suspicious, wasn't it? And honestly, he didn't sound completely sure of it? Like he was about to say he doesn't remember before he changed his mind? And then Izuku can stew on that idea for a while, try to see what it was, before maybe extrapolating from the league messing with Overhaul that maybe he's got more hangups about it, isn't sure. Or maybe Shigaraki says something about the quirk in front of Bakugo, who brings it up to Izuku after. (Or there could be a whole ripple/domino effect from the changed conversation, and Izuku and Shigaraki have different interactions that get him different clues) Maybe he starts really thinking, maybe he brings it up to All Might.

And All Might knows Shigaraki used to be Tenko, so I'm sure he went back to see when Tenko was presumed dead, how he didn't have a quirk registered at all, and Toshi knew Nana's quirk was float, and Gran knew her husband's, so they could probably figure out between them that it's way more likely AfO gave Tenko the quirk when he'd been previously quirkless.

And yeah I think that could have a fun effect when Izuku suspects it just as Tomura is beginning to realize there's something Weird going on there... That's really really fun

[theo-files]

Other than Troy, how do you think the rest of the characters would react to transfem!Abed?

ooh okay interesting!! i have a feeling this is going to be a long post because i have five characters to go through so im gonna put a break in the text here.

the easiest one for me is britta. it's shown that she gets very supportive of causes she deems important, even if that leads to her feeling like she's on a higher moral ground or just getting insanely supportive to a degree that it's a little,, uncomfortable?? i feel like she'd have the right intentions but be a little ignorant of how to actually interact with trans people, like she is with her "lesbian" friend paige. i don't doubt that a similar thing would happen with abed when she first finds out, sort of flaunting that she has a trans friend. i also think a similar thing would happen with annie, with her wanting to know the best way to be supportive and britta not having the right idea of how to do that (like when she says it's homophobic to ask questions lol. or at least insinuates that idk it's been a while since i've seen that episode).

but also, abed is her friend and if she noticed she was making abed uncomfortable she wouldn't want that to be the case. i feel like i kinda trashed her in the paragraph above, but britta is a good friend and wants to support abed, yk? basically im saying i think there'd be a bit of a learning curve for britta.

okay next up is shirley! she's very obviously religious. we see her use this as a way to guilt people a lot and also to be homophobic lol. in my opinion this would definitely apply to abed being trans too. I can vividly picture a conversation about how you should accept the body god gave you lol. but i think abed's way of dealing with this would be to,, not! she's just gonna ignore shirley while the other members try and convince her to chillax. eventually, i think she'd have to/learn to accept it. she'd bake abed cookies with the trans flag on them in frosting and they'd mutually accept it as a peace treaty.

then there's jeff. i hope you don't mind if i briefly hijack this post with a transfem jeff winger but we all watched that episode of abed's birthday, so. i think jeff would be 100% chill with it (e.g. it's her life, not mine. why should i care?) but it would also force him to think on some things (e.g. you mean you're ALLOWED to be a different gender??).

let's do annie next! youngest of the group but still slightly out of touch, i think she'd be very accepting from the get-go. maybe a little confused, but i feel like she'd buy a lot of trans pride merch for abed. she just wants her to know she has a safe space, alright?

do i even have to mention the dean? he's excited to know another queer person and very happy that said queer person is in the study group.

uhm okay. so now we've arrived to pierce. y'all remember that one episode i mentioned earlier with britta's friend paige? and how after pierce reads his whole speech someone (jeff?) says that it was oddly supportive? iirc, of course. i think that applies here, too. sorta like pierce is trying so hard to be transphobic, he loops back around to supportive? a real "you'll never be a guy" vibe, if that makes sense to anyone else.

anyways, thank you @superbluebirdgirl for the ask and sorry for how long it took for me to answer!! i honestly forgot it existed oops. hope you enjoyed it!!!

[nagito-kissmaeda]

hi bree <33

i heard that you’re into Astarion and Nagito so i was like ooh you’ve got great taste! :D

then i was like ooh wait- do you think Astarion and Nagito are similar? (other than the white hair and the “pathetic lil meow meow” (/endearing) vibes they’ve got)

and what are the differences between them?

(no need to answer if you don’t feel like it lol i just got curious since i haven’t played Baldur’s Gate yet and am writing this on the spur of the moment haha)

have a great day/night! and remember to stay hydrated :)

This is a good question! Especially since it is actually kind of hard to boil down EXACTLY what my type is when it comes to fictional characters but here are my thots

They are similar in only a few aspects. obviously the white hair, skinny little guy situation (astarion has abs in the game but this is wrong and untrue. i have a mod installed to rectify this game breaking issue). Also TRAUMA, and how they deflect it. This is actually kind of more similar than you might think, UNTIL you look at the motivations. so bare essentials, Astarion and Komaeda both do bad things as a way to regain control over their lives. For Astarion its more of a 'i lived a living hell for 200 years its time for me to have some fucking fun or die trying' where komaeda is doing it so he feels more in control of his own luck cycle. similar, but also very very different. I actually kind of think they would hate each other. Astarion uses a lot of manipulation tactics to try and gain the trust/protection of other people and i think tbh Komaeda is kinda unmanipulable. That kind of thing just wouldnt work on him, cause yeah, he will likely do anything you ask him to, but he will do anything that anyone asks him to, there is no exclusivity with him. Also i think it would be funny for Komaeda to finally do some insane shit and Astarion would be like, "Oh good! What fun!" Komaeda would reply, "Ah! I am glad to have your approval, lets hope that this tragedy leads us all into a more hopeful future, don't you agree? :))" and Astarion would say, "Never mind! he still SUCKS!" Astarion does bad things for a hee hee hoo hoo silly time, but komaeda always ascribes some weird bullshit to it and he would find that INSUFFERABLE. Astarion would also absolutely despise Komaeda self-deprecating tenancies, but is kind of vain, so as long as Komaeda compliments him enough i think he will survive, but he will complain the whole time. anyway. this has been long. please play baldurs gate 3. im reblogging a lot of stuff about it on my main (Daveth-isnt-dead) if you are inchrested.

[wanderingchocolateeclair]

roleswap au?

:o!!! Why, of course >:)

CW: slight mentions of death, murder and scars

Here are the designs for edgejeanist in my roleswap au!!!

I will give details under the cut (and also will write out what i wrote in case my handwriting isnt clear lol):

Roleswap au is basically: the villains in canon are now heroes, the heroes are villains. Their backstories are different, either completely, or theres just a divergence from the original (headcanon)

Jeanist: (in italics is from the image)

'The Bloody Puppeteer' - Tsunagu Hakamata

Extremely dangerous villain

Strikes mostly during the quiet hours

Unpredictable

Has been known to influence + recruit those who have gone through similar experiences/tragedy

Takes them in and treats them like puppets to play out as a "family"

Or, leaves a messy crime scene, only taking the parts he needs from victims for his puppets

Hideout unknown. Boss of a fashion company

Is protected by a very notorious Parisian Mafia

Uses his puppets as mannequins

Has a long standing rivalry with a known assassin Shinya Kamihara

He became a villain because he was abandoned by his parents and society when he had a quirk malfunction and so he killed them and realised he enjoyed the feeling of freedom.

He acts insane, is incredibly scary when angry, but actually is a lot more clever and collected than he seems.

His scars are no longer healed and faded, he constantly makes them worse.

Edgeshot: (italics = image)

'Edgeshot' - Shinya Kamihara

Goes by many names

Extremely dangerous villain

Head of an organisation that trains assassins. Is an assassin himself

(sort of like yakuza but not quite i guess) [talking about vibes and style of thing]

Deals with things quickly and neatly

Created a massive base within the mountain behind his village. Has many branches

Rivalry with Tsunagu Hakamata

He became a villain after his village incident, after seeking immediate revenge and -at age 15- hunting down and killing the entire organisation behind the attack.

He gathered survivors from the attack/friends/others who have been wronged, and they formed a sort of. Group that trained and killed for money to survive.

Acts silent and deadly, is actually a lot more chaotic and sadistic than he seems.

His quirk has been overused many times, he has started to develop crease-like scars from where he has overused it (and almost died from)

Some other notes:

I'm sure it's obvious by now, I love a classic enemies/rivals to lovers dynamic. And the whole 'couple that tries to kill eachother but in an endearing way....sometimes...maybe'

But this one's a slightly different flavour

They have a past together, with them turning from enemies to besties-in-the-quiet

and then there was a big miscommunication where one of them disappeared for ages and came back and tried to kill the other for real

and now they are back to being rivals who regularly try to kill each other...but with a hint of:

Divorced couple dynamic, except they were never officially together and they actually still like each other

Basically, they hate each other but they don't hate each other

They have aspects in their designs that were given to them by the other in the past as a promise of their equality and acknowledgement of each other's strength as rivals

Shinya's is his dagger, given to him by Tsunagu and the case was stitched carefully by him- and also his lil arm guard things

Tsunagu's was his gloves and the flowy fabric wrap around long almost skirt thing, Shinya actually made them both from fabric from his family.

anyway. yes. they are insane and dangerous and bloodthirsty :)

(this was my original villain au, but then my actual villain au idea came and i changed this slightly to fit as a separate kind of villain au)

But thank you or asking!!! This is one of my favourite aus to think about their dynamic for some fun lol

Can't believe you'd come in and attack the pastry brain like this...betrayal.... /lh /j

[lollytea]

So we all agree that in any Six of Crows AU Huntlow would be Matthias & Nina? Insanely loyal, opposing sides, deprogramming arc for the blonde boy. Would also be really interesting to see Willow post Parem.

I cannot fucking believe this, you have gotten me started.

(Even if you haven't read Six of Crows, I recommend reading the snippets I have here and imagine Huntlow. Because if you are a Huntlow enjoyer, they might make you insane. Or maybe its just me whose brain chemistry is changed by these scenes idk.)

Matthias and Nina were my favourites the first time reading SOC and I somehow never thought of this. But my God. Not only is his arc similar but Hunter acts so much like Matthias sometimes. Stern and gruff but has a sense of humor, plus a sheltered upbringing that has made him socially awkward and a little timid around romance and intimacy. But full of love. So completely overflowing with love. (Though the prejudice he learned from the Emperor's Coven is far different from what Matthias learned from the Druskelle.)

When it comes to Willow and Nina parallels, there's less. But they certainly exist. Willow is just as brave, confidant, smart, sweet, funny and dangerous as Nina. And physically there's the plus size thing and the green eyes and being beautiful. (Willow is called cute a lot in the show. I'm choosing to take this as fact.) But a big aspect of Nina's personality is how flirty she is. Like she's an older, sexually experienced girl who is hot and uses it to her advantage. That obviously isn't Willow, who's just a kid. Like I feel like she knows she's somewhat pretty (she says somewhat cuz she's modest.) And she's probably confidant enough to flirt with Hunter. But she would not be able to go to the extremes Nina goes to while flirting without getting horribly flustered.

So like. Huntlow as Nina and Matthias but a lot more innocent. Not entirely innocent cuz you know how teenagers are, but definitely not to the extent of Nina and Matthias.

Anyway since this ask has gotten me fucking started, I went and combed through the books for Matthias and Nina snippets that remind me of Huntlow. I have way too many. Gonna need to reblog this post once or twice with add ons just so I can get all my gushing out. Please be patient with me. ANYWAY

Very fun to think about Huntlow first meeting knowing that they're on opposite sides so they start off with a far more hostile relationship. However they end up in a situation where they're stranded and forced to work together. And then they manage to find a shelter but they're gonna freeze to death and they gotta do the whole ✨️Huddling For Warmth✨️ trope, which I cannot imagine Hunter being anything but insanely awkward about, though he desperately tries to be objective and professional about it.

Let's just imagine that besides plants, Willow knows one spell for keeping blood circulation going when it's freezing cold. Or maybe she can channel the the essence of the sun? Plants need sunlight to grow so maybe its a feature of her plant spells? Either way, she heats him up.

"He did like the way she talked." <3

Willow eventually learns that jokingly flirting with her enemy (who she has a temporary truce with in order for mutual survival) riles him up something awful. So if she can't kill him, she'll just playfully antagonise him. But at some point or another, this flirting motivated by boredom might have shifted into affection. They've been stuck together for a while now. They're starting to become attached to each other, whether they like it or not.

They are simply very cute. Huge Huntlow vibes here. Willow is being silly and Hunter is trying not to be silly but failing miserably because Willow's silliness is contagious. Also no matter how much Hunter disliked a person, you know he'd save them without a second thought. Willow is beginning to understand the kind of person he is.

Hunter being painfully obvious but also painfully confused.

This is just my Huntlow yellow tulip agenda.

There are simply no words for this one. But if I think about this scene but with Huntlow, I think I'll just fucking explode.

(Also one of Hunter's worst memories being Willow in the cell he put her in. "I never want to see you like this again." OKAY.)

OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY Willow taking the parem. It fucking hurts me because she WOULD. Willow is a protector. She is in a dangerous situation where she and her friends are cornered and she needs to protect them. The only option she can think of is taking the lethal addicting substance that will enhance her magic to an impossibly powerful extent but ruin her physically and mentally from withdrawal. If she takes even one dose, she could die or go insane if she's not given another. But it's all she can do right now. She has to keep her friends safe.

And Hunter, who is just as self sacrificing as Willow, BEGGING her not to do this.

And Willow fucking telling him to KILL HER "if it gets bad." I can't take this shit anymore man.

And then after Willow unleashes her power, saves everyone and then begins to suffer from withdrawals. And everything hurts and she's suffering and she can't even hold Hunter's hand.

But she's determined to overcome this. She refuses to succumb to it. And she orders Hunter to keep her from taking anymore. And Hunter is reluctant because he knows what could happen. But though she could die from withdrawals, taking a second dose would be the point of no return. There was no hope of her ever recovering.

Also also also "Touching him hurt but she still did it." I will screech.

I'm not okay about this. I'm not okay at all. I haven't even gotten to Crooked Kingdom yet. Gonna reblog with my CK scenes later.

[navree]

It's so annoying how a lot of Rhaenyra's fans draw straws to deny how awful she was? It feels like they actually wish she was a completely different character or delude themselves into believing that. Especially when they try so hard to invent parallels and similarities between Daenerys and Rhaenyra. Daenerys is my baby girl and it's an insult to her character to compare her with the likes of Rhaenyra.

Yeah Dany and Rhaenyra are incredibly different characters, not just in terms of personalities but in terms of life experiences, outlooks on the world, attitudes towards queenship and governance, family connections and backstories, and basically everything. And I'll be honest I do say that as a point against Rhaenyra, as someone who is actually fairly neutral towards Rhaenyra (the rhaenicent shipper in me can never fully abandon her). There is very, very little that can actually connect Rhaenyra and Daenerys other than Valyrian features, bloodline, and their last name and it's why I've never taken many of the "parallels" between them seriously.

There are things to like about Rhaenyra. Again, neutral on her so a lot of them don't do much for me even if I don't hate her the way other people do, but those reasons do exist. But like, why do you need to only like her if you can compare her to Dany? Why do you need to force similarities and "oh she's just like this other character" vibes on her in order to enjoy her? Why can't you just like her on her own merits, for who she is as a character herself, rather than trying to shove her into a Daenerys shaped hole? There are Targaryens in HOTD I like quite a lot (duh) but I like them for who they are themselves, not because I want them to be carbon copies of Dany. To me it just shows that they don't really like Rhaenyra that much at all, they don't want to get to know her as her own person with her own narrative and arcs and development in her story, they just want her to be someone else. And if your main reason for liking a character is that you want to erroneously make them into someone else entirely, then be honest: do you even actually like that character?

Anyway Dany and Rhaenyra are so completely different it's almost insane to imagine that they're part of the same lineage at all and it's about time some of the rabids realized that.

[kellykadesperate]

yeah that's so true!! we do see more of henry, which i loved bc some of those moments like at the party really hit hard. you can see the way his face shutters and it's like he has this moment of oh right, i don't get to have this which is fucking heartbreaking

oh i loved that line in the book. to me, the 'here watch me' 'oh i am', has a similar vibe (although different context) to 'i thought alexander gabriel claremont diaz was a mouthful' 'he is'. the latter was more playful, but i love those moments where it's so clear henry fox is Gay and he knows it and embraces it (as in, he's repressed not by himself but by the system in which he exists) and there's little bursts of it in those loaded remarks where he makes it clear to alex that he sees him, because his eyes can't not follow him around the room.

anyway, yeah. don't wanna be annoying and/or clog your inbox but this movie is gonna be on repeat, i'll probably reread the book a dozen times and if you have any merch recommendations (with europe friendly/cheap shipping) i'd love to hear it jfdsklfjkdslf. <3

(sorry i'm replying so late)

yes henry's facial expressions were just the most heartbreaking ever. nick did such an insane job at showing it all without actually saying anything. and the fact that alex watched him disappear and then went looking for him in his drunken buzzed state. and didn't stop until he found him even though he thought henry was mad at him or something

sksksksks yesss the mouthful line was so playful and cheeky and i just loved the little glimpses into henry being his gay little self lol. i feel like he really was always trying to be proper and focused on what he looks like and then alex was his whacky self and it made henry feel so safe. like he's gay! the look he gives alex when he leaves after their first time, like the little shaking his head sigh just screams dear god i am very very gay

not annyoing at all! it's been nice to scream lol. it's such a lovely charming book and so is the film. they just needed to reveal all the deleted scenes rn lol! i don't/haven't really looked into any merch recs but i'll deffo let you know my love <3

[nacaharachuya]

boycaca: (Im hoping you can answer to my submissions now since im assuming the reason you weren’t able to previously was bc i had to verify my email… smh i sat there trying to figure out how to do it for a few minutes man I’m telling you I’m in my boomer era 😭☝️

ANYWAYS watching you talk about how the idea/possibility of dazai being fit is not completely bonkers since he’s not actually weak and how bones twinkified him and took away his broad shoulders on twitter gives me life. You’re so right. They made my guy SKELETAL (alongside every other character tbh) in the anime and i cannot forgive that

Listen i get the prettyboy dazai belief I completely understand it but.. aurgh HANDSOME dazai is sumn else… i will forever cling to the idea that dazai is more of a handsome prettyboy than a beautiful prettyboy like a lifeline (does that even make sense) like i want harukawa to draw dazai without his shirt off not in a horny way but because i gotta see his shoulders underneath those clothes PLEASE 🙏 (okay so maybe i do say this in a horny way… only a little)

Istg if i were to achieve my dream art style i would draw dazai all day everyday you dont even understand. I’d probably start drawing the mf on my walls at some point because the way i would draw him similarly to spike from cowboy bebop is insane. Spike is one of the very few fictional characters that i am actually attracted to and despite the fact that i am not attracted to any bsd character i am so set on believing that dazai has a similar vibe to him. I can just feel it in my bones my skin my soul theres something about dazai that COULD be like spike. If i just tweaked him a liiiiiittle bit… the dazai i imagine in my mind would end up as another fictional crush (delusional) )

boycaca i think we're like the same person cause I LITERALLY AGREE SO HARD??!?!?!?!?!?! They twinked a lot of characters because bones decided to animate it differently than they had other mangas at that point. Usually, they were super good with staying on point with the style of the manga like noragami or vanitas or fma but GODDAMN THEY DROPPED THE BALL INTO ACID OR SOMETHING WITH BSD. harukawas style is so fluid and beautiful so maybe it would be harder for them to animate, but the extreme body changing I just hate. It's not only dazai ofc there's several other characters that got nerfed but dazai they sillified and twinkified and that has made me so sad.

I also just want to see them all lined up with their body types and SPIKE SPIEGEL FITS DAZAI SO WELL?? COWBOY BEBOP IS ONE OF MY ULT FAVS AND DAZAI AND SPIKE ARE WEIRDLY SIMILAR YOU GET IT!!!!!!!!!! The body type is broader shoulders and a slimmer waist (which tbh is just more of a masculine body type ik) is what dazai has but bones makes them look so...sick and skinny. I'm the world's biggest hater for them taking away the broad shoulders. like I think dazai has a natural classic beauty to him that makes him pleasant to look at because he's got an easy-to-digest face, but he is ultimately handsome. I have a few artists that have drawn him perfectly in my mind and it fits with his description of being a tall, lean, handsome man [look up @byuntaman on twt their dazai and chuu is perfect] I don't see him as very weak because there really is no basis to it when you are comparing him to chuuya. Chuuya's job was to bring the brawn and he was expected of that from the time of being with the Sheep, so naturally, when he's in the mafia he's going to keep up his reputation of being THE STRONG DUDE. It's unfair to compare Dazai to him tbh. Also, the pm trains their members, I'm guessing Dazai would go through that because Mori is not going to be willing to lose him from lack of prep. Yes, dazai is smart, but smarts don't get you out of a chokehold T_T.

I could rant about this all day long, but I think people just live with silly dazai too much and forget he's a capable person who can also defend himself and not just by manipulating the situation. It's a little far-fetched to think dazai can control EVERYTHING to the point of basically winning fights with his mind. like. no.