#Anyways. Time for me to hibernate
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Drifting into deeper depths
#4c scribbling#was feeling bit sleepy today#had to force myself to get up and do my daily stream#I might spend tomorrow coloring this one in#But hello hey! return of my adventuring ghost girl I used to draw a bunch a few years back (along with her capsule worlds)#She likes to drift here and there#Anyways. Time for me to hibernate#Good night good night good night GOOD NIGHT
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Due to it being December, I thought it would be the best time to introduce another au of mine; "Hibernation"
When the Combine took over Earth, rather than stripping it of it's resources, it began the process of terraforming the planet into a barren, ice-covered wasteland, basically bringing a second ice age, all in the hopes of killing off the life on earth and taking it for themselves.
Gordon Freeman is taken out of stasis, ten years after the resonance cascade, left to survive in one of the remaining cities protected from the harsh weather. Due to his fears and his guilty conscious over the events of Black Mesa, he went into hiding soon after, leaving his fate unknown to the resistance.
It is only until ten years later where on a reconnaissance mission, Alyx comes across a small abandoned military bunker on the outskirts of City 17, investigating only to find a disheveled, desensitized Gordon living there. He initially refuses to join the resistance, but after learning that some of his old friends at Black Mesa were still alive, he agrees.
Having given up his previous scientific background, Gordon has become a soldier, training for years in case he would finally get an opportunity to take down the Combine, suppressing his own fears, guilt, and trauma in favor of fighting for freedom. However, he still remained skeptical of the resistance, hesitating to see himself as its front-man until his existence was no longer hidden.
Still, despite his wish to keep up a stoic facade he had made for himself, he feels a presence over his shoulder, beckoning him into the wastelands of Earth to succumb to the frigid temperatures. He fears if he does not stop fighting, he will heed the call.
#half life#half-life#half life au#HL Hibernation au#Hibernation gman#hibernation Gordon#g-man#gman#Gordon Freeman#shmorps art#Finally figuring out how to properly introduce my aus. I think#Anyway yeah thought now would be the most fitting time to show this off#No this is not an episode 3 au! It just shares the arctic vibe#I'll post character refs soonish. especially Gman's cause she's silly in this au#anyway yeah uhhhhh hope you like it. if you wanna know more let me know
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hello dear mutuals & hotd friends,
i'm back! sorta, kinda
i'm happy to say MY THESIS IS DONE it took me almost a year, but -hey!- I've reached that milestone 🎉
i've missed posting here A LOT so you're about to see me here more often-yay!-
i will get back to all your msgs and asks BECAUSE I PROMISED YOU just bear with me ok?
sorry for disappearing under a rock & thanks for having me back 💚
#i promise i will not take forever this time#ily all but adulting is hard#like how do premium adults have stuff figured out?#anyway i knew i had to focus on this thesis thing and fandoms are a BIG distraction for me bc i really just never SHUT UP about them#so now that i'm finally free from the academic chains i can return to fantasizing about the QUEEN IN CHAINS ERA ✨#also i said i am doing an episode by episode review with all my thoughts and comments for the two seasons of hotd so yeah that's happening#this summer#thanks for all the msgs you sent ilyyyy#pls don't hesitate to send more you need to fill me in on all that's happened while i was hibernating#let's go i guess#alicent hightower#hotd#house of the dragon#greenqueenhightower#hotd season 2#greenqueenasks#queeninchainsera✨#hotd thoughts#hotd meta#hotd s2
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Then; Natsume Reiko. Then; this fierce, unexplainable urge to earn the right of knowing her. To look her in the eye and say if I win this duel then you’ll tell me why you’re alone, to throw that stone and succeed.
cried over reiko and souko, finished the fic I’ve been working on for almost three years, cried a bit more. please enjoy!
#natsume yuujinchou#natsume's book of friends#morinaga souko#natsume reiko#so uhhhhh long time no see?#probably figures that these two would be the ones to break my hibernation#anyway please enjoy 15k words of minor character headcanons and souko doing the opposite of feelings denial#if you need me i will be in a corner looking at photos of blue flowers and sobbing profusely
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The Sheep in Wolf's Clothing Onia Dhithos - -
"I will pull at my horns and bruise my flesh until I am born anew, my chest is too warm, I spew warm honey where I want muck. tar. I want to bear the teeth that my father and mother bore. These teeth are not sufficient. I want a bite, and I want it to be more than my words. I want to bite. I want to be the Wolf."
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[ Alt. ver. under the cut ] B/As
#TheWolf:OniaD*#oniaposting#ts4#ts4 render#ts4 simblr#sims 4#sims 4 simblr#sims 4 render#simblr#render#blender render#idk i forgot how this whole tagging system thing works with original content LMFKDSJH its been a hot minute#uhhhhmmmmm yea eat up i guess. Onia Dhithos introduction. Ive been wanting to introduce her for a longgg time but#never had a render idea for her (or at least I did but it never looked good shdghs)#also if u cant tell (prolly cant) shes literally bent backwards upside down in the first/last pose AHGSHA so yea shes in a freak ass pose r#Onia is def one of my favs but is criminally underrated/not talked abt enough (which is my fault LMFAOOO)#welp time to go back into creative hibernation for the next *checks watch* foreseeable future#I WAS gna try and do something else but google drive fucking hates me >:T#this is def gna flop but whatevs SJHGDHSJ its kinda cringe and simple anyways but i. love Onia. so its worth it. ig? 😭
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listen 2 me young paddawan....neglect not your social battery.....for the Consequences will be Disastrous
#spacie spoinks#sincerely an autistic who has been running on fumes for 2 years and now its catching up 2 them#guhhhh#monday was. hough. we had a group discussion and by the end i was on the brink of tears from overstimmulation it was BAD#i need to actually take care of myself#i like....overexert myself with people beecuz i care abt them but i give them too much#absolutely too much#and instead of taking breaks between socializing i would feel guilty and not take time for myself!!!#dont!!! do that.#listen to me .#i am telling you my mistakes so you DOOOOOONT FUCKING DO THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#and set boundaries and put your foot down about certain things your friends will still love you if you have boundaries#and if they dont.....get new friends.........#they dont deserve you hoe#anyway its time for my hibernation
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Srry for being dead again :< Here's some art I did recently to make up for it !

Dumb lil whimsical fae Peter my beloved <33
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i miss her…
#cant believe i forgot about her till the photobook q&a im so sorry witch mona~~~~~~~#press f for honeypre atelier gachas it was gone too soon™️#(currently e x t r e m e l y worried and stressed for tomorrow like never before b u t i have to appear like im fine sobs save me monachann)#(can i go on a stress-prompted tangent here about something inane? no? toooo bad im gonna go off anyway~~~~)#ok so. like. since witch mona is the image i have up ‘ere and since it’s still 七月… today’s tangent will be on irl spooky stories!!#s o. presenting a decently repressed memory from my childhood that resurfaced while i was hibernating at home:#anyways. well. thoughts about the afterlife can vary from person to person yes? there’s no one true correct belief after all#but the one question that unites us all is probably the one and only ‘are ghosts real?’#and well. for personal reasons i think so. i mean i’ve seen this one dude i hate get possessed a couple of times so welp. cant deny it ig.#wild story about that actually. back in the day my family’s finances were allegedly doing so badly that [dude i hate] had to pick up#a *c e r t a i n* side hustle for extra cash. that side hustle? literal grave digging at the cemetary. at night no less#and *ofc* he wasn’t respectful about it in the least so ofc some spirits followed him home. yay. free roommates.#one(?) of them even took residence in my room at the time and im 80% sure they ate my history textbook :( much sads#anyways well once that guy had too much to drink (which was rather often tbh) he’d get possessed. fun!#the only possession i ever saw was the n-rarity angry ghost who’d just huff and puff in silence with unfocused eyes most of the time#he’d occasionally put on a leather jacket too. but that was like a r-rarity event that didn’t happen that often#my mother had the chance to also witness the mosquito (who tried to barge into my room for fresh blood) and the 姑娘 (self-explanatory)#which is kinda unfair tbh. i wanted to see the ur-rarity ones too :( mostly bc it’d be funny to see a guy i hate act ooc (impure intentions)#oh right. how did we get the dude out of his possession? we just shook his arm really hard. prolly caused some lasting effects but who know#i think he could also just sleep off the possession but idk i was asleep for the ur-rarity incidents.#cant ask the one witness of it bc i dont want to bring back unnecessary flashbacks of [guy we hate]#anyways it’s been years since we moved out from that place and i still want my history textbook back. mostly for the principle of it but—#and so that’s the tangent of the day. i feel weirdly less stressed now thanks witch mona#i do wonder how my grandparents are faring on this 七月 though…#b u t !!!!! tomorrow’s date on the lunar calendar says it’s an auspicious day for wishful activity and starting a new job!!! so… maybe~~~~?#hauauauauauauauuauaaaaaa anyways insane tangent over stream mona’s new album ok bye#oops forgor to disable rbs i hate how easy it is to forget to use this function man
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everytime i accidentally spray water on my snail when hydrating his enclosure that one amberlynn reid reaction channel clip plays in my head
#he puts water ON the snail???#<- iirc ur not supposed to do that for some reason so i always feel bad :(#anyway he has soem worms now to eat bon appetito. will buy more carrots too today#i act like the perfect snail owner. after abandoning his ass for like 2 months and sending him into hibernation#GOD peta owuld have a field day with me#IM SO SORRY EDWARD I AM SO SORRY. AT LEAS UR STILL ALIVE ? IG#i feel so bad when isee other snail owners stress so hard over taking good care meanwhile im like#oh yeah he gets food when i remember to buy it#i spray his dirt with water when i see he hasnt moved in a couple weeks#(after nearly 2 years) ohhh they need protein? guess ill buy some worms when i have time#I FEEL SO BAD TYPING THIS ALL OUT I AM SO SORRY I LOVE ANIMALS BUT I AM ALSO VERY STUPID ND FORGETFUL#HES STILL ALIVE GUYS HES STILL ALIVE. MIRACULOUSLY#GOD IM THANKFUL I HAVE SUCH AN EASY AND ADAPTIVE PET AT LEAST LOL EVERY OTHER ANIMAL WOULD DIE WITHIN 2 WEEKS OF MY CARE#AND THATS GENEROUS
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hm hm doing this to the fic
#jackals barks#political marriage au#Hibernate Time For Jackals alas#the vibe is coming out Not Quite Right HMFJ#they're supposed to be a little more. hm. hm. not Mean but not Interested In Jackal? bc rlly the thing is A Sham#it's supposed to be later that jackal is So Damp And Fawningly Pathetic that theyre 'oh my god wtf (affectionate??)' HF#me to me we are doing. like. a slower burn here-#also me to me nu uh#ANYWAYS I'm gonna fiddle after i sleep. maybe. if my Existing Spoons continue 2 be back from the war
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It is once again Awake Hour where I lie awake staring at the ceiling contemplating how much I like sleep.
#insomia#i want to sleep#but i cant#the Thoughts all come out of hibernation like little woodland animals to let me know about Things#shitpost#no one’s going to notice this anyway because no one likes my shitposts but me so I can be as weird as I want#every night when 1:30 comes around my brain’s like it’s time to sing and dance#yesterday it decided I needed to research Mesopotamian mythology#it was right I did need to it was Important
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I've had enough character development for this year. Can we skip to the beach filler episode?
#lmao#had a great day mostly but im feeling the burnout#hindsight im glad im gonna be taking summer off from college#yeah it'll take me a bit longer to get my degree but i crammed in a lot of shit within a year#and working on projects and theory and application non stop#caught up to me#there's still a part of me thats like BITCH TAKE 1 CLASS THATS 1 LESS TO WORRY ABOUT#but the other is like BITCH 1 CLASS AINT GON DO SHIT CHILL YOU OVERACHIEVING CHICKEN FRIED FUCK#“you take everything on like you're running out of time even though the thing you need most is rest.”#thank you friendo for calling me out on my bullshit 🙏🏻💯#maybe i should hire them to tell me when i need to slow the fuck down#cause even though ive gotten better with taking care of myself i get so caught up with my ambitions that it bites me in the ass#that and when you're disabled and if you get that window of opportunity where you feel good you want to crank all the shit out you can#before going back into hibernation mode#vicious cycle#anyway i be ranting#no magenta here but some other color that we shouldn't be able to comprehend but we do anyway
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i've been dreading this friday afternoon budget meeting all week and telling myself "you just have to get through this and then you're in the clear." and it was predictably miserable until 4 minutes before the end when someone pointed out that we only had 4 minutes left and we hadn't even talked about the thing we needed to talk about. and then we had to schedule another meeting 😭😭😭😭
#so now i have to wait until thursday to get this shit resolved because these people refuse to send a goddamn email#last time i requested information in writing i got back to back to back stream of consciousness messages riddled with typos and mistakes#and when i responded laying out clear questions and concerns they never responded#they just waited until our next meeting and then dropped some new shit on me#i sent an email on wednesday with a very simple request. no response. until I mentioned the email in the meeting#and then within 10 minutes I had a response#like. i was worried i was being too mean#but this person literally. LITERALLY. wrote 8000000 when they meant 8000. and didn't notice.#i think they feel like i'm picking on them but the errors are not small. i let a lot of small ones go#but I can't let 'confuses thousands for millions' go. and even then all I did was privately tell my boss the correct number#anyway now i get to sit and stress about this for. counts on fingers. five more days#is this a real problem? no. but it's just yet another small thing that is going the wrong way for me#and i feel so buried under the small things#and i'm so tired. and my eye keeps twitching. and my head hurts. and i want to crawl into a small cozy cave and hibernate like a bear
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did i mention that i ran around on friday panic buying last minute gifts for our family xmas gathering on sunday alone bc my sister was working (understandable) and my brother couldn't be fucked (less understandable) and then caught something while i was shopping and missed christmas because i was too sick to go.
#this is what's spurred my need to hibernate next year i'm not doing this again#texted my brother on friday morning like 'so what time do you wanna leave to get the prezzies bc i've got plans in the morning'#and he said 'oh i forgot about that i just kinda wanted to have a pj day today tbh'#26 year old man who does not pay rent. btw.#so i went on my own and picked out what i thought were actually pretty good presents i know my dad LOVED his#but yeah picked something up at good old eastland (which is hell in december btw do not ever go there then) and the fam hates me anyway#for not being there. also neither of them have paid me back. i love christmas.
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I don't talk about the show on any of my social media shit but rip to ROTTMNT yall would've THRIVED in this era of words like "hype moments" and "aura" because that show was LITERALLY thoes two things and then some/pos. There wasn't a single fight where they weren't aura farming and the animation only enhanced that thought.
#Truly upset it ended as early as it did GOD The animation in that show was unbelievable#But at least I have the Tcest community to hold me over cause genuinely Rise is my favorite adaptation#And seeing how artists and writers work with their dynamics with eachother excites me in a way#Anyways time to hibernate till I wanna yap again
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i should really stop taking benadryl on a full stomach
#guess who skipped all their morning classes yet again due to oversleeping#I've been enjoying this 3 day weekend for like a month now it's gotta stop#I've just been hibernating a lot recently#i love sleep so so much i always wanna be eeping no school no responsibilities#god damn you benadryl how dare you feel so nice and calming and rock me to sleep oh so gently#that moment when i can feel it starting to work and i start automatically drifting off to sleep...#there is no other feeling in the world that can compare to it i just love knowing that sleep is right up ahead#that probably says something abt my survival instincts i bet id probably love near death experiences too#ugh. anyway time to wake myself up for real and get on with the day :/#mine
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