"mithrun is the only real monsterfucker in dungeon meshi" is objectively the funniest bit you can get out of his everything, but in all seriousness i think his attraction to his love interest is deliberately overstated—and that makes sense, because romantic jealousy is a classic and digestible motive, which is explicitly what kabru was aiming for in condensing mithrun's backstory, and also because until chapter 94, mithrun wasn't willing to admit to the true nature of his desires.
but because romantic envy is both classic and digestible, it probably isn’t a unique enough or complicated enough desire to tempt a demon’s appetite. mithrun’s wish, as far as we can figure from kabru’s reduced retelling, was to have a life in which he had never become one of the canaries, and that carries like 3857 implications and desires within it. that’s delicious. his love interest acts as sort of a red herring to his motivation for making it, though. (side note: i'm saying "love interest" here because, keeping in mind that i barely speak japanese on a good day anymore, "想い人" is something i'd usually take as just kind of an old-fashioned and romantic way to refer to a lover, but in context i wonder if both the connotation of yearning and the vagueness are intentional, and i think this phrasing gets those aspects of it more effectively. anyway.)
mithrun considered his love interest to be untrustworthy. there was a minute where i thought that comment might be about a similar-looking elf (yugin, one of his squad members), but comparing the two…
the "sketchy" arrow is definitely referring to the elf we know as his love interest—the bangs go toward her right, she only has the one forehead ornament, and, most notably, her ears aren't notched.
every time she’s given a full-body depiction in his dungeon, she’s drawn as a chimera, with the body of a snake from the waist down. (side note: the “what if a dungeon has chimeras before reaching level 4?”/“then the dungeon lord is unstable” exchange just being mithrun grilling his past self alive is so funny. he’s so. but anyway) there are a couple things about this.
first, the snake part of the chimera appears to be modeled after some species of coral snake mimic
which, in the biology-for-fun manga, i… doubt is a coincidence, especially with the added context of the “untrustworthy” comment. the dungeon’s conjured illusion of mithrun’s love interest was a harmless copycat of a venomous original. for whatever reason, he felt this person was a threat and made up a "safe" version of her to be in a relationship with, and while it’s definitely possible to be attracted to or even love someone you find to be toxic and/or intimidating, when you take that into consideration alongside the configuration of her body, you get some interesting implications.
which brings us to our second point: if we assume that mithrun was not in fact fucking a snake, then sexual attraction, at least, was so far removed from his idea of a relationship with this person that he did not even bother to keep her dungeon copy human enough to maintain the illusion of the option of a sexual relationship. this is somewhat echoed in the depictions of their interactions, which also imply a frankly unexpected romantic distance. she kisses his cheek and he doesn't seem to react; she's at the edge of a narrow bed with only one set of pillows, on top of his blankets while he's underneath them.
the kiss is particularly interesting because it seems to contrast the text. kabru's narration tells us this was everything mithrun could have asked for, but mithrun is there looking unreadable to pensive, likely because this is right before the panel that makes it clear things in the dungeon are beginning to go wrong.
walking through this backwards for a minute, we have the physical barrier of his bedding and the spatial separation inherent in a bed made for one person, the emotional barrier of his mounting anxiety getting in the way of his ability to enjoy the affection he sought, and... the snake, which historically carries the connotation of temptation, yes, but also mistrust, barring physical intimacy. okay. ok. if a dungeon reflects the mentality of its lord, all of this might suggest that mithrun was not able to have any real desire for a relationship with this person. his unwillingness to be vulnerable or let another person in was insurmountable. but in that case, why was she such a focal point that she remained to the end, after his dungeon had stopped creating iterations of his friends to come and visit him? why would he get so upset over her meeting with his brother that he became lord of a dungeon about it?
well. mithrun's brother was also interested in her, probably genuinely. and mithrun had to win.
you have an older brother who your parents completely ignore, probably in part because he is chronically ill/disabled and almost definitely in part because he received a ton of recessive traits that resulted in rumors that he was an illegitimate child. you are aware, most likely because those same parents fucking told you, that you actually are an illegitimate child. but they keep you around because you had the good fortune of looking just like your mother. what can that possibly teach you but that you, like your brother, are disposable?
it's utterly unsurprising that mithrun, under these circumstances, developed a pathological need to be better than everyone around him. people don't keep you otherwise. i'd argue this is also why he says he looked down on everyone he knew while milsiril claims his dungeon reeked of feelings of inferiority—he sought out people's worst traits and prioritized them in his mind to protect his already extremely fragile sense of self-worth, and all the while he tried to be as likable and high-performing as he possibly could be. his parents disposed of him anyway, but even then he tried to keep up the performance. he was kind to everyone. he never once lost to a dungeon.
when he saw his "love interest" meeting up with his brother, what he saw was himself being replaced by a person his parents had always treated as worthless, and if that was what they thought of the child they'd kept, what value could anyone possibly see in the bastard they'd given away to die? mithrun and kabru tell the story like he wanted to win this unnamed elf's heart, but it was never about being with her. it was about cementing his worth, proving that he didn't deserve to be thrown away.
and so it's particularly cruel that his demon discarded him, too. but maybe it's also particularly gentle that, in the end, there was someone who refused to even consider giving up on him.
kui laid it out in three panels better than i could hope to.
yeah. it's love. you wanted to be loved, even when the only way you were able to understand it was through the desire to be wanted, and you wanted that so badly that the idea of being consumed felt like the promise of finally mattering to someone.
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I love how on Tumblr, "media literacy" has become "Um, just because someone writes about this doesn't mean they're endorsing this. I hate all these media puritans ruining everything."
I'm sad to inform you that knowing when and whether an author is endorsing something, implying something, saying something, is also part of media literacy. Knowing when they are doing this and when they're not is part of media literacy. Assuming that no author has ever endorsed a bad thing is how you fall for proper gander. It's not media literacy to always assume that nobody ever has agreed with the morally reprehensible ideas in their work.
Sometimes, authors are endorsing something, and you need to be aware when that happens, and you also need to be aware when you're doing it as an author. All media isn't horny dubcon fanfic where you and the author know it's problematic IRL but you get off to it in the privacy of your brain. Sometimes very smart people can convince you of something that'll hurt others in the real world. Sometimes very dumb people will romanticize something without realizing they're doing it and you'll be caught up in it without realizing that you are.
Being aware of this is also media literacy. Being aware of the narrative tools used to affect your thinking is media literacy. Deciding on your own whether you agree with an author or not is media literacy. Enjoying characters doing bad things and allowing authors to create flawed or cruel characters for the sake of a story is perfectly fine, but it is not the same as being media literate. Being smug about how you never think an author has bad intentions tells me you're edgy, not that you're media literate. You can't use one rule to apply to all media. That's not how media literacy works. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Aheem heem. Anyway.
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for the new year, i have decided to make a couple edits and additions to the almighty Calendar. happy 2024.
IT JUST HAPPENS
DAY 15 GIVE IT UP FOR DAY 15
Thursday the 20th
The Fifth of Wednesday
Second Week of May: Eurovision
Sometime in June: That One Halloween Post Starts Circulating
Sometime in July: Dancing Pumpkin Man Video/Gif
WEEKLY EVENTS
(at least the ones i celebrate)
Every Monday: Garfield Hates Mondays
Every Tuesday: Tom Servo Tuesday
Every Wednesday: It Is Wednesday My Dudes
Every Thursday: Out of Touch Thursday
Every Friday: Flat Fuck Friday
Every Saturday: Sea Slug Saturday
Every Sunday: Energy Sword Sunday
YEARLY EVENTS
January 1: Copyright Expiration Day
January 8: Spiders Georg Day
January 16: Appreciate a Dragon Day
January 18: Bug Race
January 29: Threshold Day
All of February: Funguary
ALSO All of February: Femslash February
February 3: WOE, VANILLA EXTRACT BE UPON YE
February 13: Galentines Day
February 14: Aromantic/Asexual Day
March 9: Miku Day
March 10: Mario Day
March 14: Pi Day
March 15: Ides of March
March 23: Ever Given Got Stuck Today
April 1: Mishapocalypse
April 2: Dashcon Announcement Anniversary
April 3: Dannypocalypse
April 8: Rex Manning Day
ALSO April 8: MARGARET THATCHER IS DEAD
April 13: Neil Banging Out The Tunes
ALSO April 13: Homestuck Day
April 20: haha 420 blaze it
April 25: The Perfect Date
April 28: Ed Balls Day
April 30: It's Gonna Be May
All of May: Mermay
May 3: Beginning of Dracula Daily
May 4: May the 4th Be With You
May 5: Revenge of the Fifth
May 25: The Glorious 25th of May
All of June: Pride Month
ALSO All of June: IT'S HALLOWEEN TIME TO GET SPOOKY
June 5: Barricade Day
ALSO June 5: RONALD REAGAN IS DEAD
June 12: Another Homestuck Day
June 16: Let Papyrus Say Fuck
June 22: Summerween
All of July: Disability Pride Month
July 11-13: Dashcon Anniversary
July 20: Moon Landing
September 8: The Queen Is Dead and Sans Undertale Killed Her
September 11: Mole Interest Monday
September 19: Talk Like A Pirate Day
September 21: DO YOU REMEMBER-
All of October: SKELETON WAR
ALSO All of October: People Draw A Lot Month? (so many names)
October 3: Mean Girls Day
ALSO October 3: Fullmetal Alchemist Day
October 13: Treat Yo' Self
October 20: Unnecessary Feelings Day
October 31: HALLOWEEN
November 5: honestly what didn't happen that day
November 19: Goncharov
November 29: HENRY KISSINGER IS DEAD
All of December: Will the Gävle Goat Get Destroyed Again?
December 10: Please, It's Christmas
December 12: Hawaii Part 2
December 23: Christmas Adam
December 24: ALMOST CHRISTMAS MEANS IT WASN'T CHRISTMAS
ALSO December 24: Cabinet Man Day
December 27: Porn Ban Effective Today
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