#Black Jack Chewing Gum

[candyheaven0]

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[cerealkiller740]

1948 Dentyne Gum advertising

[adtothebone]

Not quite as cruel as certain gumballs in the gumball machine back in the day, but still right up there. The Black Jack Chewing Gum logo and packaging at least warned you that something wasn’t quite Wrigley about it.

[ozzgin]

hey beaut, can i request a yan ben drowned ticci toby nd ej with a chavvy reader from england ? like first impressions and their dynamic,, thank yuuu xxx

What a quirky request, haha. Very unexpected. I’ll let you know that I’m not too familiar with this stereotype, but I’ve seen a fair amount of social media examples, so hopefully it’s at least a little bit authentic.

Yandere! Creepypasta x Chav! Reader

Featuring Ticci-Toby, Ben Drowned and Eyeless Jack with a British chav reader that wins their hearts.

Ticci-Toby

He wouldn’t call it downright stalking, but Ticci-Toby has been observing you for a while now. Sometimes from afar, sometimes from a closer distance (such as your bedroom window), but his presence has always been concealed nonetheless. After thorough consideration he decides to approach you. You’re standing at the bus stop in your squeaky puffer jacket when you notice the pale stranger in unusual garments. You nervously chew on your gum and clutch your bag before finally speaking up. “What’re you staring at, luv?” His eyes immediately light up. Did you… did you just call him love?

Needles to say he’s over the moon. Only later does it occur to you that he doesn’t seem to grasp common slang, nor metaphorical talks for that matter. He takes things quite literally and you have to consider your wording before opening your mouth. That doesn’t stop you, however, from having a response ready at all times. That’s what Ticci-Toby really likes about you, you’re always there to ground him. It’s your raspy, mildly annoyed voice that snaps him out of his terrible paranoid episodes. He’s come to cherish the awakening “Are you mental, mate?”

He finds hanging out with you very comforting. In fact, both of you have started this little ritual of him draining his chatty moods while you sit in front of a mirror and do your makeup, interjecting every now and then with a little feedback. He gets to empty his brain of all the erratic thoughts and simultaneously admire your appearance. You’re perfect. For him, particularly.

Ben Drowned

Once again you’re woken up by the loud static in the living room. You drag your legs over to the TV with a knackered groan and slap the remote. Your ex partner had forgotten their video game at your place and ever since you’ve been getting outlandish messages and images stuck on the screen. Who would even play this? Did the game somehow mess up with your TV? This time it won’t turn off despite your attempts. The screen is frozen and you can make out a faded, pixelated text plastered in the corner: “It’s lonely here. Would you join me?”

Ben is fascinated by you and has been so ever since he’s been brought to this place. The forgotten video game was not unintentional: Ben had a fair amount of amusement from haunting your partner, and in a moment of despair they hoped relocating this cursed item would put the focus on someone else, like you. Although you’re rather oblivious to his scare tactics. This time is no different, but now he’s no longer interested in terrorizing you. Quite the opposite. How would you respond to his flustered confessions?

Being with Ben is a surreal experience, given that he can switch between the physical and digital realm with ease. He enjoys teasing you and lately he’s been cheeky in different ways, such as engaging in playful banter regarding your style and accent. It’s all in good fun and you do enjoy his humor. Though you wish he’d skip the riddles that only confuse you most of the time, or the sudden disappearances.

Eyeless Jack

Despite your repeated promises to yourself that you won’t go overboard with drinking ever again, here you are blacked out after a particularly lively party. To your defense, you didn’t expect to be woken up by some bizarre creature, and similarly it seems the man didn’t anticipate you’d be shaken out of your intoxicated state. You can see the glistening of a sharp tool in his hand and instantly sober up.

Both of you are stuck, contemplating the next move. Should Jack just kill you now? If he’s fast enough, you won’t have time to scream for too long. Then again, he does take pride in his silent surgical extractions. A messy fight would just go against his purpose. Your nostrils expand as they begin to accommodate to his presence. You sniff loudly a few times and gag involuntarily. Something stinks. “It’s you. You smell so shabby!” you exclaim and abruptly get up, reaching for your handbag that had been abandoned next to your bed earlier. You aggressively rustle its contents until you finally pull out a Victoria’s Secret perfume bottle. Satisfied, you begin spraying around the hooded man. He can only stare at you, speechless. “I cannot!” you keep repeating in disbelief.

Jack had snuck into your apartment hoping to leave with a fresh kidney and instead ended up perfumed and insulted by a drunken character. It’s this shameless unpredictability that has gotten him hopelessly interested in you. He loves to see your reactions and finds you greatly entertaining. On your end, you find him a proper, quirky lad, although a bit of a nutter. You’re also getting better at tolerating his intense odor that reminds you of black pudding. On one occasion Jack has offered to share his grisly nightly hunts with you, but you casually refused because you’ve got to stay snatched.

[warningsine]

If any of the followers wants to help, it'd be appreciated.

So. What's an adult TV series that has

complex/compelling female leads (don't have to be queer, but it's a bonus if there are some) or an ensemble cast with a lot of women,

an engaging story,

has a somewhat active/enthusiastic fandom on here (doesn't have to be HOTD or "Yellowjackets" levels of enthusiastic).

I dropped "Good Girls" again after finishing the first two episodes of season 4, because as much as I love the ladies, the arcs are repetitive af at this point.

I wanted to watch "The Good Fight" and "Black Sails," but I'm afraid they'll have to wait. "The L Word" and "Orphan Black" too.

Some of the series I enjoyed at some point:

"The Handmaid's Tale," OITNB, "I May Destroy You," "Unbelievable," "Veep," "Dead Ringers," "The Good Wife," "My Brilliant Friend," "The Returned," "Bad Sisters," "Chewing Gum," "Black Earth Rising," "Mrs. America," "GLOW," "Kevin Can Fuck Himself," "Big Little Lies," "Night Country," "Top of the Lake," "Godless," "Frontera Verde," "Ethos," "One Night," "The Power," "Girls5eva," "UnREAL," "Damages," "Insecure," "Unorthodox," "P-Valley," "Russian Doll," "Hacks," "Grace and Frankie," "Shining Girls," "Killing Eve," "Fleabag," "Why Women Kill," "Poker Face," "The Queen's Gambit," "Borgen," "Mare of Easttown," "Irma Vep," "Alias Grace," "Miss Sherlock," "Last Tango in Halifax," "The Fall," "The Bletchey Circle," "Servant," "We Are Lady Parts," "Made for Love," "Claws," "The Girlfriend Experience," "Dear White People," "Little Fires Everywhere," "Sharp Objects," "Lovecraft Country," “The Underground Railroad," "Under the Bridge," "Derry Girls" (<-a teen series, but I made an exception because everyone here told me it was worth it), “Station Eleven," "The Great," "Beef," "She's Gotta Have It," "Twenties," "Olive Kitteridge," "Enlightened," "Babylon Berlin," "Deadloch," "Vida," "Feel Good," "Gentleman Jack," "La Casa de las Flores" (<-never let it be said I don't enjoy millennial telenovelas).

Female fronted series I haven't finished:

HTGAWM, "Wentworth" (<-couldn't get into it).

Series I was/am kinda meh about:

"The Wilds" (<-"Yellowjackets" all the way), "Dead to Me," "Roar," "The Fosters," "Lost Girl," "Westworld" (<-post season 1), "The Haunting of Bly Manor" (not big on Flanagan's works), “Bridgerton," "Ratched," "Dickinson."

Series I haven't tried yet:

"The Diplomat," "Harlots," "Gilded Age," "The Bold Type" (<-surprisingly, it doesn't seem like my thing), "Workin' Moms," "Girlfriends Guide to Divorce," "Happy Valley," "Halt and Catch Fire," "West Wing," "Broadchurch," "The Split," "A Small Light," "Scandal," "For All Mankind," "Mindhunter," "Sense8," "1899," "Utopia," "Transparent," "The Morning Show," "Rain Dogs," The Mindy Project," "Vigil," "High Fidelity," "Only Murders in the Building," "Julia," "Pen15," "Weeds," "Girls."

[sanjisblackasswife]

Imagine Sleeping with Luffy (NSFW)

Bad Summary: He Likes to touch you while you’re sleeping.

Black Fem Reader in Mind

WC: 1.1k

CW: Gropping, Humping, 1 Pussy Slap, He uses His DF Power, Fingering, Oral, Cumming while sleep(?) is that even a thing, Somno, not proof read.

You were aware that Luffy could be a little chaotic when you both decided to sleep together, but maybe it was something in the air because your wild captain seemed to get more bolder with his touches.

Every night when he crawls into your bed, wrapping his cold limbs behind you, it startles you for a second, but you could recognize your captain’s scent anywhere.

It only started because he kept sleep walking into your room after a huge meal. You finally confronted him about it and he just insisted to sleep with you every once in a while and you quickly agreed.

And why not he’s your captain. It’s Luffy, you thought. He could do no wrong.

This is how you gotten into the situation you’re in now; Luffy three fingers deep inside your cunt dry humping your thighs and panting in your ear.

“Fuck…fuck…fuck…fuck…” Each thrust was a heavier breath brushing your now damped neck from the drool he produced on you, he was so close to making a mess between your thick thighs, his fingers began to slip on and off your clit as he rubbed messy circles on it. Clearly you had to have been awake?

But alas you weren’t, you were sound asleep in whatever deep dream you were having completely deaf to the sexual noises Luffy was giving you. however it wasn’t like you didn’t know. You gave him permission.

This wasn’t a first occurrence with Luffy he’s been inching his fingers inside your panties and bra for days now, you talk to him about why he keeps doing that, he didn’t understand why either the most you got out of him was, “I just like how you feel, Y/N.” he was afraid you were mad, but of course you wasn’t. You’re his loyal crew mate that wanted to give your Captain a nice stress relief.

The first night was a surprise, you woke to him kitten licking your clothed clit, the other night he used your hand to Jack off, but now he wanted the real thing, he wanted to feel your pussy squeeze down on him, whether it was his tongue, fingers, or Dick he didn’t care he wanted to feel all of you.

“I want to fuck you, y/n…wake up.” His Voice rasped, he licked and sucked your neck grinding in a fluid motion behind you moaning at his tip just barely grazing your soaked entrance now. You were so wet each finger pump made the most pornographic squelch noise that just deepened Luffy’s lust. He took his fingers out your cunt to fondle your nipples, he always wanted to play with them, more importantly he wanted to suck on them as he shoved his cock inside you.

His patience has worn thin, he sat up pulling his wet cock from your thighs and put you on your back, he snapped and lightly tapped your cheeks, but you were out like a light. Luffy Huffed chewing his lower lip and spread your legs opened anyways.

“Y/N….” His Voice getting louder swishing his 3 fingers on your clit vigorously, your leg twitched a little, a few small moans, but you still didn’t wake up. “Are you Fake sleeping?”

No response.

He grumbles, his cock was hot, hard, and blushing needing to fill something up and that something happened to be sleep, your shirt and panties now long gone. Luffy pushes back his damped hair for a moment and an idea pops up, “Oh! She woke up last time I did it!”

He sits on his knees holding and keeping your thighs spread and trace circles with his tongue on your clit, you did a hum, furrrowing your brows. Okay. Progress. Luffy licked his lips before using his gum gum to shrink, stretch, and wrap around the sensitive button. His eyes closed to absorb more of your flavor sucking so harshly his cheeks shallowed.

He kept sucking until his hands and face were mushed by your thighs, you began to grind yourself on his mouth moaning in your sleep, it wasn’t long until you calmed down and tried to roll over, but Luffy got fed up and firmly smacked your pussy.

“Uh—mmm! Lu—?!”

Your back arched off the bed feeling the new overwhelming sensation of Luffy’s tongue. He looked up at you with a smile in his eyes, before popping off your cunt, “FINALLY! I can’t sleep.”

His mouth covered in your slick, you can smell your pussy on breath since he got so close to your face your noses were touching, “Can I go inside you?”

Panting, and still somewhat dazed you look to see your clock, it’s just barely 2am, but Luffy didn’t care, he grabbed your chin to look back at his lowered lids, he pushed you back down, cock now grazing your slit with each movement making you moan. You didn’t break eye contact at his dark eyes , his thumb rubbing your lower lip to gently as he says above you,

“Y/N….”

“Déjame follarte.”

“Let me fuck you.”

[metallicmikus]

ASKING ABOUT YOUR MODERN DAY NEWSIES HEADCANONS!

OKAY OKAY :3

- jack doesn’t go to college

- david is a music education major in college

- david listens to goth/new wave

- albert listens to goth and dresses pretty much exactly like sky flaherty just more black

- everyone thinks albert is straight when he is in fact gay as fuck

- race owns a lot of t shirts with a lot of random phrases on them, he practically lives in (albert’s) hoodies. his favorite is albert’s siouxie and the banshees hoodie

- race smokes because his mom does, and when he quits, he constantly has to be chewing gum

- finch is good at archery

- albert is the middle child with an older brother and younger sister, his mom is transphobic 👎👎 and he’s practically ignored

- race and albert are childhood friends who lived in the same apartment complex

- david’s the kinda bitch to work at target

- jack has wired earbuds and they’re not tangled cuz it drives him crazy

- race and al “practiced” kissing with each other when they were in middle school

- the newsies have a movie night every friday on discord (they have discord server)

i’ll reblog with more later if i think of more 🫶🏻

[thatonewatching]

My creepypasta/marble hornets head canons (SFW)

Hoodie/Brian

Black coffee No cologne Picks at his skin or taps his foot Likes big dogs but feeds the stray cats Scar going down his chest from a fight w/ Masky Good friends with E.J. Likes kids, and wishes he could have them Won't have kids because of his line of work Closed off Selective mutism Anger issues but relatively calm Insomniac Scary dog privilege Hates being a proxy Refuses to take his mask off around the others Keeps camera on him at all times Loves literature Very smart Limited interests Majored in literature Sarcastic Low self esteem Listens to punk rock Hopeless romantic Speaks another language (Russian probably) Mature but can be petty Fatherly Plays piano Is very skilled at playing piano Cannot cook to save his fucking life Can sew Wakes up so damn early Lanky bitch Has no taste in fashion or decor Apartment is practically empty Honest Chews a lot of gum

Masky Stubborn Chubby Hairy motherfucker Intimidating Pours milk before cereal Will now refuse cheesecake (y'all ruined it) Black coffee favorite food is grilled cheese and tomato soup Basic bitch Loves AC/DC Classic rock Aerosexual Good at math Petty Strongly opinionated Bad at reading Needs glasses but refuses to get them Anger issues Can't cook

Toby

Clingy Manipulative attachment issues Likes chocolate milk Pyro Diet consists of milk, energy drinks, and random chips and snacks he can find Underweight but scarily strong Doesn't like spicy food Drools Nightmares Sleep paralysis Panic attacks Loves rodents Hates waking up early but he does because of his job Restless Draws on himself Lots of self-inflicted marks (IYKWIM) Ambidextrous Pyro Thinks about Lyra a lot Bites his nails when no one's around because he has to pull his mask down Listens to Mindless Self Indulgence, My Chemical Romance,  Get Scared, Avril Lavigne, Theory of a dead man, Paramore, Sleeping with Sirens, Crown the Empire, Linkin Park, System of a Down, Panic! At the Disco, Melanie Martinez, Green Day, Black Veil Brides, Arctic Monkeys, McCafferty, Mother Mother, Fall Out Boy, Pierce the Veil, Falling in Reverse, Bring Me the Horizon, Three Days Grace, Korn, Slipknot, etc. (I had to) Hums to himself Dyslexic Likes abandoned areas Very fast when running Great aim Band T-shirts Taps foot Energy drinks

Eyeless Jack

Gentle giant Doesn't like being called "Eyeless Jack" Goes by E.J or Jack Loud breather in his mask, completely silent without Doesn't take his mask off unless he's alone Sweet Scared of himself Goes through heat Trust issues Good fashion but can't wear most clothes because of his size Has Brian sew/adjust/make him clothes for money or whatever Honest Has seen every single Disney movie Hums and sings along to the songs Fatherly Slender's second favorite Mature Scars Human food tastes bad to him Only drinks water Can and will pierce your body if you ask Misses icecream

Jeff

Energy drinks and soda cans all over his room Band T-shirts Emo Slender's favorite Plays with Ben (gaming) Sore loser Likes to burn things Caffeine addiction Stupid teenager shit 13 (in my hc) Ribs are visible Pierced body; nipples, ears, cartilage, nose Fights with everyone Dyes his hair regularly

Not Proofread

[dmercer91]

nhlers as ultra specific things

this is basically a list of nd lore as nhler hcs

cause it makes them feel more human and i feel like that’s a good thing

pls add on or feel free to challenge my choice of player <3

michael bunting bites his nails

matthew tkachuk messes with his eyebrows and eyelashes

luke hughes picks at scabs and acne

dawson mercer pokes his tongue out when he’s focused

nico hischier picks at his nails

trevor zegras plays with a rubber band when he’s unsure

mitch marner tells stories and forgets the point

mark estapa chews on his hoodie strings

rutger mcgroarty zones out so hard he doesn’t catch what people say to him

freddie andersen cracks his knuckles when he’s uncomfortable

william nylander picks at / messes with the cuffs on his long sleeve shirts

john gibson doesn’t like eye contact but makes a point of doing it in case he seems rude 

seamus casey says ‘huh?’ only to properly answer a question without it being repeated

jamie drysdale doesn’t like it when his food touches

elias pettersson shuts down when he’s overwhelmed

jack hughes scrolls on his phone with his mouth over the caps of his water bottles

andrei svechnikov jumbles english and russian when he’s flustered

pyotr kochetkov gets migraines

auston matthews hates his laugh

john marino thinks he’s the king of sarcasm but misses most sarcastic comments

cole caufield has a hard time reading when it’s his turn to speak and often cuts people off or misses his window

tage thompson responds to compliments with an extremely awkward grin and an enthusiastic thumbs up

owen power pushes up his glasses only to find out they’re not even on his face

ryan graves has a good singing voice but his voice will absolutely never see the light of day

sidney crosby smiles and nods when he could not have less of a clue what’s going on

rasmus sandin consistently trips over his own feet

dougie hamilton often says ‘thanks, you too’ when a non hockey player tells him he played well

ethan edwards wanders off mid conversation if he hasn’t spoken in a while without even realizing

arber xhekaj complains consistently about one thing and when he’s given a completely reasonable solution he refuses the advice

kent johnson draws on his arms

gavin brindley has a really niche/uncommon skill and is completely baffled when others are impressed

alex turcotte struggles doing groceries cause he’ll only buy what he’s currently craving

timothy liljegren has a good memory but only because he can associate things he needs to remember to the absolute most random third party aspect ever

connor mcdavid will enter a room with a task to complete and stand in the doorway buffering cause he can’t remember what it was

leon draisaitls hands are always cold

logan cooleys room is really messy but he can remember that he has a pack of gum in his black sweatpants that are on the far left corner of his floor under the red shirt. if the gum is moved to an appropriate place for gum it will never be touched again

connor bedard laughs at really bad jokes out of pity (or cause he doesn’t get it and he feels like he should)

quinn hughes has no social battery unless he’s with his person - in which case he is on crack

[maximumwobblerbanditdonut]

FILM AND MOVIES

What Went Wrong With… SAS: Red Notice (2021)?

A review of SAS: Red Notice by What Went Wrong Or Right With...?

SAS: Red Notice is the latest Sky Original film to premiere on the satellite platform and unfortunately it’s another dead duck. Based on the book of the same name by Andy McNab, the plot is about a family-based, terrorist group known as the “Black Swans” who take over the Channel Tunnel. Interpol’s “Red Notice” (which alerts police worldwide to internationally wanted fugitives) gives this film its title (at least I think it does, although in S.A.S. terms it could mean a government sanctioned hit). Regardless of its meaning, the main part of the storyline (the hi-jacking) takes almost half-an-hour to get to, and once it does, it’s not exactly enthralling. The film begins with a preamble about “psychopaths” delivered by Tom Wilkinson’s character William Lewis who goes on to say “psychopaths who can learn to love are as rare as a black swan”. This I assume, refers to his baddie daughter Grace played by Ruby Rose or possibly the good guy Tom played by Sam Heughan. This kind of wannabe poignant dialogue is pointless to ponder over however, since this isn’t a character study of someone taught to kill and the parallels between the military and terrorists, or whether someone can switch off their violent tendencies and become compassionate. What this is, is a load of D-list actors saying “awight mate” a lot, posturing, chewing gum to look butch, and shooting guns, largely in the dark. Oh, and apparently, the elite of the elite in the S.A.S. are also bilingual botanists.

I’ll admit that I haven’t and probably never will read an Andy McNab novel, so I’m judging this adaptation against similar action movies. The plot to me, seems very late-80s or early-90s, very much like Ruby Rose’s bowl hair cut. SAS: Red Notice wishes it was in the same company as the original The Taking Of Pelham One Two Three, Die Hard, and every classic derivative action movie such as Speed, Under Siege, and Executive Decision but it’s instead more of a Chuck Norris or Michael Dudikoff-type flick.

Directed by Magnus Martens, the look and feel is more “TV” than cinema, and bad television at that. Magnus can’t seem to coax a believable performance out of anyone, and that’s alongside his appalling framing and camera movement, not to mention the seemingly non-existent art direction which leaves us with what looks like a home-made movie. The cast aren’t much better. Aside from the always decent Tom Wilkinson, the acting talent is also firmly in made-for-TV territory. We have Noel Clarke looking as convincing as Major Bisset as his Detective Inspector in Bulletproof, Anne Reid who played Jean in dinnerladies is still Jean from dinnerladies, and Andy Serkis plays Clements by overacting and probably wishing he was dressed in spandex and covered in white dots playing a different kind of gorilla.

We also have the aforementioned Sam Heughan as Tom or Thomas Buckingham III, a contrived yet somehow unbelievable rich, posh, heterosexual white male who lives in what looks like Wayne Manor with a butler not too dissimilar to Batman’s. Sam is a terrible, soap-opera-esque actor and as the lead, he’s the main reason why this film looks so cheap and tacky. Bad acting doesn’t end with Heughan however; we also have Ruby Rose playing his arch-nemesis Grace Lewis.

I suppose it’s progress to see a British Prime Minister played by a person of colour (Ray Panthaki) and someone from the LGBTQ community play the villain or antagonist in an action film but Panthaki is essentially a one-term baddun, and Rose is so lacking in charisma and acting skills that she won’t be spoken about in the same breath as Alan Rickman’s Hans Gruber or even Eric Bogosian’s Travis Dane, which kind of defeats the purpose. Grace Lewis is instead, in the same league as Thomas Gabriel or Alik from the inferior Die Hard sequels. Rose can’t even act like she’s been shot in the neck or smile convincingly with her “this isn’t a disguise” wig on whilst trying to ward off authorities, let alone look menacing or have a knife-fight (or spoiler alert: die).

Whilst on the topic of Grace, her tactic of “kill the men and the boys, leave the women to spread the fear” conveniently leaves out the all-too-common rape and torture. Make no mistake, this is a sanitised view of conflict where mercenaries, contractors, war criminals, and terrorists are completely unconnected to any military unit. The film begins with contractors tasked to clear a village in Georgia in order to lay a pipe line, and this seems very War On Terror and Black Water-esque (especially the name “Black Swans”) but the way in which this story is told, it’s less Iraq and more Tie Rack with a bunch of suits trying to make some soulless and shallow money from militarism. There’s no real opinion on whether contractors should be used in war, it’s more “it’s okay until they leave witnesses” which is a dodgy message to convey. That being said, even our hero Thomas hears his butler recount a story of Buckingham’s forefathers chopping off a Maharaja’s finger during an Indian “uprising” in order to take their ring, which means even the protagonist has a lineage of wrongdoing but I’m sure viewers of this trash will glaze over this. In order to bolster the concept of “good guys can do no wrong”, the wedding vows at the end of the film are cringe-worthy and go to show how not only the writers, but everyone involved in making this crapfest, love the idea of the infallible war hero who cannot and should not be criticised (or prosecuted) because they do such a difficult job… “For better, for worse, in war [and] in peace, knowing that in war, your crazy brain is always right”. 🤮

Whether pro-war or anti-terror or just unadulterated militarism, all this criticism is of course pointless to mention, as nobody watching Red Notice is looking for deep, meaningful subtext and opinion-challenging concepts. The camouflage-covered cinematic cliches of “this isn’t what I signed-up for!” and “take the shot!” are both present which means this is a hackneyed, straight-to-streaming, non-action, action film. I wouldn’t have minded if this shite contained a plot about what great jobs snipers do or how difficult counter terrorism is, instead it’s another mindless, gung-ho release. And while I’m at it: who gives a toss about what happens to a fictitious government and this film’s uninteresting characters during the end credits? Please don’t make a sequel or try to start a franchise about the exploits of Tom effing Buckingham the pissing Third!

As a Sky Original, I have to mention the inclusion of Sky News presenters Gamal Fahnbulleh and Jayne Secker (and Ben bloody Shephard of ITV’s Good Morning Britain) doing some suspiciously, similar-to-real-life acting. Similar to Jeremy Thompson in Shaun Of The Dead, the news casters’ or broadcasters’ acting looks as convincing as the actual news and their “breaking news” bulletins are read with the same vigour. Ignoring the fact that Sky are both feeding and eating itself in the creation of this film, it’s always disconcerting to see real-life news presenters read scripts as well as they do on air, which goes to show they’re not journalists but actors who err… read scripts for a living. But I guess that’s for another article.

Back to the film, no matter its formulaic-ness, it would have been a much better idea for John McTiernan to direct SAS: Red Notice, for the sole purpose to try and get his post-prison reputation back to the level of his original Die Hard and Hunt For Red October heyday. I’d like to think that the maker of the original action masterpiece from which all others originate could surely make even the lamest of scripts buzz with exhilaration? Instead, thanks to a director who cannot direct, especially action scenes, I wasn’t thrilled or excited at all.

Apparently notices of the rouge variety are very popular right now because confusingly, there’s a Dwayne Johnson “Red Notice” movie in the works too, unconnected to the McNab book but an action flick nevertheless. One thing’s for certain: this version isn’t the one that stands out. Even with a large Andy McNab fanbase, this is gonna go

BY WHAT WENT WRONG OR RIGHT WITH...? ON MARCH 11, 2021 • ( 7 COMMENTS )

This is the time to remember! the time is not gonna change 😬

[lyndseyplayshss]

001: Lisa Counts

General Information:

Full Name: Lisa Marie Counts

Nickname(s): Li, Determinator

Age: 17

Gender: Female

Star Sign: Aquarius

Appearance:

Height: 5'10"

Weight: 190 lbs

Skin Color: Brown

Hair Color: Black with green ends

Hair Style: Waves

Eye Color: Green

Clothing Style: Punk, goth

Accessories: Eyebrow piercing, leather bracelets

Features: light freckles on bridge of nose, dimple on left cheek.

Relationships:

Family: Mom and dad, three brothers, one sister

Love Interest/Crush: Chase Cunningham (Prep)

Friends/Allies (outside of the main cast): Charlie Daniels (Nerd), Jackie Antalek (Gamer), Alistair Kirkland (Cheerleader), Quanita Warner (Writer), Zach Morris (Filmmaker)

Enemies (outside of the main antagonists): a few people from her old school

History:

Second oldest of 5 kids, Lisa has always been someone who protects the people she cares about. From a young age she put others above her, and thought of everyone as a new friend she hadn't made yet. Unfortunately that left her open for people to take advantage of her, and she was ultimately betrayed by people she considered friends. She left her private school and went home, and while exploring the town her parents had moved to, she found Haven Academy and became it's first official student.

Outside of that, her family is incredibly varied. Her eldest brother Ben is in college, her estranged twin brother Lance attends Apollo Academy, younger brother Jack recently transferred from the same school, and youngest sister Jade is considering transferring from Twin Branches.

Other Information:

Likes: sushi, rock music, anime

Dislikes: bugs, clowns, being cold

Hobbies: cosplay, drums, writing

Habits: gum chewing, nail biting, writing

Fears: bugs, breaking a bone, raw meat

Trivia: She's an excellent dancer, her favorite sport is hockey, and she did a short stint on a variety show as a kid

If they could switch cliques, which one would they go to: anime club

[ask-the-becile-boys]

Fic: The Chuck E' Cheese Incident

AO3 Link

Word Count: 2097

Summary: One time The Jack broke into a Chuck E' Cheese.

Warnings: None!

-

“You’re gonna kill that blender one of these days,” Riker said to Scratch, watching him put a third slice of supreme pizza into the blender’s maw. Scratch shrugged, added a extra helping of pizza sauce from a can, and hit the puree button. The blender screamed in beleaguered agony as it tried to chew through the mass. The noise was so bad that Hare stuck his head in the kitchen, scowling.

　　“Just what in the hell are you two doing in… here…” Hare’s words trailed off as he looked at the open pizza box in front of Riker.

　　“What’s your problem?” Riker asked, raising an eyebrow before taking a bite of his own slice. He choked as Hare stormed in and flipped the box.

　　“Why would you bring that here?!” Hare shouted. The pizza box luckily didn’t spill the rest of the slices as it turned over in the air, but it did land upside down with a sad squelching noise. “I’ve told you, none of that-- that stuff here!” Scratch turned off the blender and stared at Hare, bewildered.

　　Riker looked regretfully at the upside down box. “Right,” he grumbled. “The kid got so excited at the idea that I forgot the rule.”

　　Scratch’s hands flashed, “What rule? There’s a ‘no pizza’ rule?”

　　“Yes!” Hare snapped.

　　“... Why?” Scratch asked, signing the question slowly.

　　“Because I said so!” Hare said, throwing up his arms. “It’s disgusting! It-- it-- it gums you up! And the grease gets in your oil and you gotta do a whole change!”

　　“But we’re not making you eat any,” Scratch said.

　　“You’re not going to convince him, Scratch,” The Skull rumbled, walking in in time to see those last signs. “There was… an incident, back in ‘99.”

　　Hare turned on his heel with a huge huff of black smoke and stomped out the other door. “I don’t wanna talk about it!” he hollered over his shoulder before disappearing.

　　Riker flipped the box back over and surveyed the damage to the pizza before shrugging and taking another slice. “You want to explain it to him?” Riker asked The Skull.

The Skull nodded and took a seat at the table. Scratch looked hungrily at the half-pureed pizza in the blender before taking a seat across from him.

“The Jack doesn’t escape now as much as he used to, before Locksmith started babying him,” The Skull said. “He ran away multiple times after the Boss died. There was one day he got out, and we tracked him down to this… place, this entertainment center thing. Something called… ‘Chuck ‘E Cheese.’”

-

Hare and The Skull entered the building the same way they assumed The Jack had-- the back door with the chewed-off door handle. Hare reflexively reached for the light switch, only for The Skull to snap, “No light. I see video cameras.”

Hare squinted at the dark ceiling. “The hell did you see that?”

“Two eyes.”

“Screw you.”

“You look for The Jack,” The Skull said, brightening his optics and striding confidently down the unlit hallway. “I’ll take care of the cameras.”

Hare’s own optic flickered as he attempted to brighten it. His good eye hadn’t been damaged by the accident that had taken his right one, but Pops hadn’t replaced the bulb for a long time, and now there was no one to do it. He glanced around the back room and ducked his head into the first door that he saw. It was filled with boxes and large, plastic-wrapped plush toys, with no sign of disturbance. Hare’s brows dropped and he leaned back. “Hey, what sort of place is this anyway?”

There was no response. Hare rolled his eye and closed the door, following the hallway to the next room. This was looked like an employee’s lunch room. No Jacky and no other door, so Hare moved on. Around a corner, light spilled from the surveillance room. Hare glanced in to find The Skull methodically ripping tapes out of their recorders, and he looked past him to the screens.

“No sign of him on any of those?” Hare asked, pointing at the wall of monitors.

“Not yet,” The Skull said. “I’ll keep an eye out, but he might be powered down in a corner.”

Hare nodded and moved on. The next room revealed a kitchen. It was not a nice kitchen. There were unidentifiable substances caked in the nooks and crannies of the tiles and tables and also on the ceiling. Hare’s limited features twisted in disgust, but there were signs in here that Jacky had come through; namely, there were pots and pans knocked onto the floor. The trail ran across the room and toward the door to the refrigerated area. Hare tested the handle: locked. Either The Jack had moved on, or he was stuck inside, and if he was stuck inside, he’d be there when Hare was done searching the rest of the building.

Another door led out into an arcade, of all things. Hare quirked an eyebrow. He had never gotten much opportunity to hang out in arcades, on account of his smoke, but even so he could tell this place skewed juvenile. The machines were round and bubbly, their paint jobs garish. There was a caged area, the floor of which was covered in a foot-deep layer of rubber balls, and above and around it hung child-sizing tubing. Hare walked over to the entry chute and leaned down, tilting an ear toward the inside. Sure enough, the echo of a giggle bounced out.

“Hello, Jacky,” Hare called into the chute. “Nice hidey-hole you got here.”

“Shh, shh, quiet Jack,” The Jack said to himself, oblivious to the acoustics carrying his voice. “Mustn’t get caught! Mustn’t go home!”

“Aww, it ain’t that bad, Jack,” Hare said. “You gonna come out easy like? ‘Cause I ain’t coming in after you, and I bet you’re getting pretty hungry, eh? Plenty of coal at home.”

“Nope, nope, nope,” The Jack mumbled.

Hare scanned the tubing, but in the dark it was impossible to see if or where there was smoke leaking from the tubes. “The humans will be back soon, Jack,” Hare said, switching gears. “You don’t wanna have to deal with the screaming and yelling they always get up to, do you?”

“Yes, they do scream and yell. Him most of all, but he’s not here!” The Jack tittered.

Hare sighed. “He ain’t at home either, Jacky. He’s gone for good. Come on down.”

“No!”

“Jacky, I’m gonna get real grumpy if I gotta come in there!” Hare snapped. The Jack just laughed in response, and so with a growl, Hare twisted his hat on more snugly and crawled into the chute. Even with the light from his optic, it was nearly impossible to see, doubly do when Hare got high enough for the smoke to be lingering. He hit a dead end, some kind of bubble with a steering wheel, and the tubing creaked dangerously. Eventually, by listening for the sound of Jack’s giggling, Hare bumped into him.

“You’re stuck, aren’t you.” Hare asked flatly. The Jack cackled, his legs twisted up the side of the tube. Hare sighed again and reached out to try and pull him free.

There was a squeal of metal rivets tearing through plastic.

“Uh oh,” Hare said.

“Down we go!” The Jack screeched just as the tubing tore away from the structure, dropping their segment into the ball pit. The tubing cracked open like an egg, and The Jack was immediately flailing and squirming through and out of the plastic lagoon, off and running before Hare could even stand.

Hare scrambled after The Jack, following his cackling through the arcade and up to a stage. Hare slowed and hesitated, seeing figures standing there, unmoving. His optic flicked and he knocked himself on the side of the head to try and make it work properly. The light brightened  just a little, enough for him to see, and he instantly regretted it. The figures were some sort of mannequins, weird, furry monsters with half-lidded eyes and mouths hung open in their powerless state.

“Oooo, a button,” The Jack said sing-song from somewhere behind them.

Hare was nearly knocked off his feet in surprise by the sudden explosion of light and sound as the animatronics came to life. “Welcome to Chuck E’ Cheese!” the figure in the center called out, its dead eyes swinging back and forth. The others shouted inanities, their joints tracking along limited, programmed paths.

To human children, animatronics might be amusing. To Hare, they were an affront to his very existence. “Jesus Christ,” Hare muttered. “To hell with this.” He dodged around the giant mouse and headed backstage. There was only one pathway that he could see and Hare followed it into a robot’s hellscape.

Hare was used to workshops, but generally, those were run by engineers who knew what they were doing. Here, there was no knowledge of proper maintenance procedures, no diginity, no respect. Parts were strewn haphazardly across tables, tools were stacked with no regard for their users’ access. Extra skins were hung on the walls like hunter’s furs. There was a partially disassembled animatronic lying on a work table. Hare walked uneasily around it while he searched for a door. His eye blinked out for a moment and he cursed, hitting himself in the head again and rattling his good eye. There was no light now except for that spilling in from the direction of the stage, and so Hare turned to return to that.

There was a skeletal figure standing in the doorway.

“Skully!” Hare said in relief. “Help me out here, I found Jack but my light ain’t working. He’s gotta be close.

There was no response.

“What, don’t give me that disappointed crap,” Hare snapped at the figure. “I nearly had him! He can’t have gotten far!”

There was no response.

“God’s sake, at least move outta the doorway so I can--”

“Who the hell are you talking to?” The Skull’s voice rang out.

“You!” Hare said.

The Skull’s green pinprick eyes appeared over the figure’s shoulder. “Really? ‘Cause it looks like you set up a dummy to yell at.”

Hare stared in confusion. “But… I didn’t…” He slowly turned to look at the maintenance table. It was empty. “We need to find Jack and leave now,” Hare said hurriedly. The Skull pushed the animatronic out of the way-- there was no resistance-- and Hare ducked out of the room.

There were two passages that Hare had missed, and The Skull hadn’t seen The Jack through the one he came through, so they tried the last one. They ended up circling back toward the kitchen, freezing when there was a clatter from inside.

“Go back around to the kiddie area,” Hare whispered. “And be ready to grab him if he bolts.”

The Skull disappeared into the darkness, leaving Hare to creep into the kitchen. He saw The Jack standing by a rack of pizza boxes, swaying on his feet as he mumbled to himself. Hare sneaked closer, taking slow, silent steps-- until his foot hit a knocked over pot, invisible in the low light. The Jack turned and spotted Hare sprinting toward him, and at the last second he dodged out of the way, letting Hare crash into the rack. It knocked into the wall and Hare fell over backward, unable to do anything but watch as the pizza boxes opened and rained their greasy leftovers upon him, the coup de grâce being a tub of pizza sauce left on the top shelf.

The Jack wailed dismally as The Skull carried him back into the kitchen, slung over his shoulder. The Skull rolled his eyes, watching as Hare gargled on congealed sauce and tried to crawl out of the mess.

“Well, you flushed him out, at least,” The Skull grumbled.

“Great!” Hare spat, wiping “pepperonis” and gobs of “cheese” from his face. “Fantastic! This place sucks and I have to burn these clothes now. Let’s go.”

“But I wanted another hour to play in the ball pit,” The Jack whined.

“Jacky, you’re on thin ice,” Hare warned. “Don’t push it.”

“And you’re on thin sauce!” The Jack laughed as Hare slipped in the pizza mire and landed unceremoniously on his aft again.

As they left the building, Hare took one last look back into the hallway they’d come through. Sure enough, deep in the darkness stood a skeletal figure that hadn’t been there a minute before.

Hare slammed the door shut. “Frigging creep,” he muttered.

[1h34rtanxa]

food log

i feel like a pig i ate so much today

for breakfast i had an orange and apple and i asked for a coffee and got given a caramel latte instead of just a black one?!

for lunch i had to help with this thing at my church hall, and they had these greasy bacon baps which i had one of

i exercised a bit in the toilet after but it 100% wasn’t enough

then i went on a walk and got a diet coke and some gum to chew so i didn’t eat

for dinner my mum made me tuna pasta even though i wanted to cook something myself but it was plain enough and i watched her made it and she only put in pasta and tuna so it was fairly easy to log into lose it

then she had to leave the house for a few hours, so i worked out quite a bit

i did about 50 squats, 20 crunches and 100 jumping jacks and various others like a wall sit etc and burned ab 300 kcals

so altogether:

weight: n/a

kcals: 716 😬

today was rocky but tommorow i’m gonna aim around 300-500kcals as i’ve got a busy day so will need a bit more energy

[cjb-160]

I am

I am Marylin Manson and Julia Jacklin I am Tolstoy and T.S. Elliot

I am tanned leather, brass, and lucite I am hotel suites, vip parking, and charges to the room I am white gloves, table cloths, and fine china I am reservations, and plane tickets I am the resort, and the last resort I am lamb skin, and alpaca. I am 3000-thread-count sheets

I am first dates, milkshakes, wedding cakes, and roller skates I am the beauty and the beast

I am the warning light on your dashboard I am the water in your gas tank I am the squad car tailgating your for 3-miles I am the window you roll-up when driving through that neighborhood I am the longest red light you've ever stopped at I am the new coffee shop, bar, boutique hotel I am the {insert local hangout spot here}

I am the crack in the houses foundation I am the crack, the house, and the Foundation

I am the day before World War 3

I am Doo-Wop and Hip-Hop I am baby Jesus and methuselah

I am the bottle of urine beside your bed I am the pistol.

I am the addict in the attic.

I am the needle and I am the thread I am the pawn shop you gave grandmas ring to I am the long pull on your vape between shifts.

I am the 9-5 and the 6-10. I am the check in the mail I am the pit and I am the bull

I am the artificial flavor in your chewing gum I am the friend that was too young to die I am the fellow and I am the ship I am Othello and Hans Christian-Andersen

I am the side effect worse than the symptom I am tea parties and vineyards I am the used condom on the sidewalk I am the heat death of our quantum existence

I am…too abstract?

I am too black but not black enough I am queer but not gay enough. I am qualified but not good enough. I am big-nosed, bald-headed, unwashed, and unbothered. I am untethered.

I am the creation and I am the demiurge I am the igneous and I am the firmament

I am the Borg

I am the paper your suicide note was written on I am the last time you saw your father I am the last thing he said to you I am the couch you let him crash on for a few months I am the new security code you created when he left

I am the storage unit you change clothes in before and after work I am the blanket you’re wrapped up in while asleep in your car

I am the gift that I never see you wear I am the pot calling the kettle… I am the "come get me," text at 3am I am the "you up," text you left on read I am the unsaved number in your phone

I am the abomination and the salvation of creation I am the mustard and I am the seed

I am the last ps5 at Walmart on Black Friday

I am Mozart and Chopin I am rock, roll, and Rachmaninoff I am Coltrane and Gillespie

I am the kidnap and I am the torture I am the human and I am the traffic I am the sex and I am the worker I am the murder and I am the manhunt

I am Samson’s dreadlocks

I am the dog bark that wakes you from that fever dream

I am the fever dream

I am the con and I am the science I am the jack and all of his trades I am the Coke and I am the cane

I am the stop sign behind that big ass fuckin tree. I am the cop. I am the ticket.

I am the vegan recipe book you haven’t opened yet I am the first parallel park in that city you moved to I am the popping sound in your kneecap

I am the fake number she gave you

I am the burning cross on your front lawn I am the white hood I am the "whites-only" section I am the assailant and I am the victim

I am the rotten avocado on your kitchen counter I am the clown and I am the circus I am bibles and black holes

I am holding your sweater I am the first kiss I am the divorce papers

I am the Sailor and I am the Siren I am the solitary onion ring in your order of French fries I am the diet that starts tomorrow

[avengersacademyarchive]

Mission: Get Your Gear

Part 1: (I missed the first line of this mission so the first line is below)

Black Widow: Let’s find a way to get you free...

Part 1 Black Widow: Let's find a way to get you free... Union Jack: I thought Loki was breaking the curse? Black Widow: I hope he is, but I'd rather not depend on him. We're super spies. We can spy our way out of this... Union Jack: If you track down my gadgets, I'm sure I can find of way to break the restraints. There's one for every situation. Black Widow: You have a secret cache of spy gadgets? I've always wanted one of those... (and I don’t have part 2 at all so we just have text)

Part 2 Union Jack: Cheers. I'll work on the restraints. You might wanna dig up whatever you can find out about Black Knight. Black Widow: Can I try out some of your gear? Union Jack: Of course. Just be careful. The most normal looking things are the most deadly. Black Widow: ... Union Jack: Are you chewing the gum that was in there? Black Widow: Maybe. Union Jack: Throw it as far as you can, and cover your ears!

[candyheaven0]

Black Jack Chewing Gum - Candy Heaven

Candy Heaven serves perfect and authentic Black Jack Chewing Gum. This classic gum is everyone's favorite, It is so because the flavor is as effective that brings you back in time and reminds us of our favourite things. The unique black color and taste of Black Jack Gum is difficult to come by, so it provides a gustatory and sensational sensation while chewing. If you are an old fan of us wanting to try new items or just be a new one then we have everything that you are looking for. Candy Heaven sells Black Jack chewy gum, for you to experience sweetness without breaking the healthy eating rules.