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dangerliesbeforeyou · 9 months ago

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ok so ive been rewatching psychoville and saw on the wikipedia that there were a bunch of websites made for the series (they were all written by reece and steve btw) which i've been looking through cos they are genuinely SO fucking funny & also just amazingly creative lol!

anyway i know people in the fandom probs already know about this (since the show came out literally 15 years ago pfft) but i thought i'd share some of my fav bits (but honestly would just recommend just checking them out if you haven't i have been crying with laughter for literally hours lol)

i will say that a lot of the media (videos, games, etc) no longer work on the archived sites rip but i'm sure people have uploaded some of the stuff (vids especially) to yt or other places lol

so a) i love that we get some background stuff on jelly and 2) 'captain CRACKERS' bernie clifton's dressing room reference question mark ??????? (ofc bcdr was AFTER this but i know love the idea that mr jelly trained under len pfft)

what that red raw stump do though 👀 (sorry pfffft)

mr jolly's website wasn't that interesting soz tho i did like him comparing being a doctor to being a clown lol

the comment about fag bears did make me wheeze i'm afraid lol i also loved the blurry photos of lomax's commodities lol (kinda reminded me of the bit in tlog w/ that terrible old photographer guy lol)

when i tell you i DIED with laughter at the 'now known as hull' bit like u just know reece wrote that bit pfft

not really a funny thing but this poem written by david honestly kinda breaks my heart lol... i think it also a lot of additional context to david's guilt when he thought he'd killed his father(faver) because perhaps he felt guilty about NOT feeling guilty you get me? like, it felt to me that when maureen told david it was SHE who killed her husband, it didn't feel like he was mad at her for doing it, but more that she kept the fact from him. it's about... the mutual oedipus-coded obsession with one another that couldn't even be destroyed in death and in this essay i will....

ghoul_lass23 is just like me but about tumblr lol fr

nothing feels more cursed than the phrases 'the river minge has burst its banks', 'crying creamy tears' and 'fleshy rapunzel' (which i've just noticed they misspelt lol... don't think that was intentional lol?) so if i had to read this so do you <3

the way that i kinda wish this actually existed tho pfft... also, it does kinda remind me of that video where jenny nicholson talked about that insane reality show 'opposite worlds' lol

'cross between seven and glee' is honestly sending me pfft

also on this part there was a script from stinkfinger (which is a show mentioned on the show) which sounded suspiciously like a reference to tlc lol

the less said about swastknickers the better

(will say i did nearly piss myself laughing at the nazi section of the hoity toity website lol which wasn't a sentence i thought i'd type today lol)

i just love these kinds of jokes pfft

also the whole biography sections of each of the pantomime cast are fab lol tho i AM kinda pissed they made debbie from yeovil and yet didn't give her a west country accent lol!!! (i guess they thought it'd be a bit much w/ joy being bristolian but i'm still mad about it lol)

also i know people have probably already pointed this out but i do find it funny that brian in the in9 episode last night of the proms is a closeted gay guy who likes watching drag was probably a reference to brian in this show that was a drag queen like... is anything these guys do NOT a reference??? u know those gaylor fans who obsessively look for clues in her songs about her apparent secret sexuality? all i'm saying is that i think they'd really like the extended reece shearsmith & steve pemberton universe pfft

all three of these made me cry with laughter lol

ohh this is interesting lol so obviously they suspected that some people might be all 'um why didn't the sprinklers go off during the fire at ravenhill? plot hole much!' so they wrote this into one of the websites so they could be like SEE! WE'RE ONE STEP AHEAD OF YOU DUMBASSES lol

both the jeremy kyle reference (remember when that was a thing? yikes... my mum used to watch his show CONSTANTLY...) and nurse kenshington's thoughts on david and maureen are interesting lol.. also there's a reference to the serial killer top trumps in this bit lol! (do people still play top trumps?? man i LOVED top trumps lol...)

the entire sunnyvale care home section is so fucking funny (both the website AND in the show lol mrs wren/mrs ladybird face is unironically probably my favourite character on the entire show) these were just some of my fav gags lol...

ok but why is this the SECOND reference to a guy punching a child who was apparently looking at his dick lol!??!! did this happen to one of you ??!!?!? reece did you punch a child ??!???!?!??

&&&& that's it lol

there were a few websites i didn't spend long on or generally weren't that interesting (coughmidgetgemscough) but honestly? i was really captivated with just how funny and well put together all these sites were! you can tell they had a lot of fun making it and i'm sure fans at the time LOVED being able to have this semi-interactive element of the show lol

there was just something so wonderfully late 00's about these websites lol i genuinely don't think i've laughed this much at anything in literal months and all of this is just solidifies that psychoville is a criminally under-appreciated masterpiece lol

#psychoville #reece shearsmith #steve pemberton #there are too many characters mentioned here to list lol #honestly more people need to watch this show it's just great lol #anyway i hope that some of y'all have a laugh reading some of these even if ur not familiar with the show lol!

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gardenwalrus · 6 months ago

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The Beatles & Noël Coward

The songwriting ambitions of Wooler and the Lennon-McCartney team provided a rich topic of conversation. "I used to discuss this chiefly with Paul," said Wooler. "I did discuss songs with John, but he wasn't interested in my kind of songs. Whereas Paul McCartney was interested in what I had to say about songs, and Noël Coward, for instance. I talked to him about Noël Coward and how clever and how witty he was. And this is what I miss about rock'n'roll songs, the absence of wit. There's so very few of them have any wit about them. Which is very sad. They're all rather long-suffering, these songs. And all this pall rather appalled me. 'When I'm Sixty-Four' is really, I think, the only witty Beatles song, which is essentially a McCartney number. When I used to announce Paul at the Cavern, occasionally I'd say, 'Now Paul's going to sing a song of his own he's written; he's the Noël Coward of rock'n'roll!' I think he liked that appellation, that description."

- Gillian G. Gaar, 'I AM THE DJ: AN INTERVIEW WITH THE CAVERN'S BOB WOOLER', Goldmine (8 November 1996)

John and Paul meet Noël Coward at Alma Cogan's party at her London apartment, 1-3 June 1964.*

[Coward] found them 'pleasant young men, quite well behaved and with an amusing way of speaking'. [...] Though [Coward's] background was not so very different from the Beatles' - his father was an impoverished piano salesman - he swiftly assimilated into high society, readily adopting the mannerisms and accents of the English upper classes. Small wonder, then, that the current rise of working-class culture held so little appeal for him. [...] Coward made the mistake of relaying his encounter with John and Paul, in derogatory terms, to David Lewin of the Daily Mail. It never occurred to him that Lewin would quote him in print complaining that the Beatles were 'totally devoid of talent. There is a great deal of noise. In my day, the young were taught to be seen but not heard - which is no bad thing.'

- Craig Brown, One Two Three Four: The Beatles in Time (2020)

(*Craig Brown dates this meeting as 6 June, however the Beatles - minus Ringo - were in Amsterdam on this date, and the party was in London. Lewin's article is published on Friday 5 June 1964 and refers to Coward's 'last day' of his visit to Britain 'this week' - therefore more likely 1-3 June.)

A year later, Coward sees the Beatles in concert at the Teatro Adriano in Rome, 27 June 1965, and afterwards goes to meet them at their hotel.

PAUL: Brian came and said, 'Noel Coward would like to meet you boys.' We all said, 'Oh, fucking hell, no! No, no, no. I'm going to bed.' Nobody was really keen, we were better just casually interacting with people. Once you actually had to meet them, it became a bit official and our black humour would kick in and we'd try and counteract the fact that four of us were going to have to line up to meet the great man, so piss-takes would come fairly readily. No one was going to go, and Brian said, 'You can't, you just can't!' So I went down and met him. But then he said some not too pleasant things about us after that, so fuck him anyway.

- Paul in Barry Miles, Many Years From Now (1997)

...I was told that the Beatles refused to see me because that ass David Lewin had quoted me saying unflattering things about them months ago. I thought this graceless in the extreme, but decided to play it with firmness and dignity. I asked Wendy [Hanson, the Beatles' publicist] to go and fetch one of them and she finally reappeared with Paul McCartney and I explained gently but firmly that one did not pay much attention to the statements of newspaper reporters. The poor boy was quite amiable and I sent messages of congratulation to his colleagues, although the message I would have liked to send them was that they were bad-mannered little shits.

- Noël Coward's diary entry for 4 July 1965, referring to 27 June. (x)

#describing someone as the 'noël coward of rock'n'roll' is definitely... an interesting description bob #there's a ringo quote the anthology about hating coward but i cant remember where #paul mccartney #john lennon #the beatles

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missholloween · 1 year ago

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Why Joey's EOTPII/Casino character was Owen: a theory

Tagging @smytherines , @toringo and @just-watching-dont-worry. This will be long

First of all, let's introduce our guy: waiter #4 or, as he's called in the subs (more on that later), the manager.

During the first Spies viewing, one usually pays attention to Joey, as they might be expecting Owen to return in one way or another. I personally got so caught up with this character because of Joey's body language.

Eyes on the Prize II is a very showy number: the ensemble must move at the same time, and they should all be in the same page. They are showy, yet classy; ostentatious, yet controlled. They have to be all the glamour and riches they are singing about.

That's why waiter #4 stood out to me: he's serious as the other are, yes, but he also seems angry. Here are some ensemble photos so that you can see it:

Why the intensity? Why those gestures? I really encourage you all to rewatch A1P6 so that you can see it, as he keeps the energy for the whole number (even the quick "keep your eyes on the prize" changes). He's not even the waiter that Curt knocks out after his PTSD attack.

It is also remarkable how these expressions are really similar to another (queer) villain of Joey: Wilbur Cross. Wilbur in Made In America and this waiter has a really similar body language. Coincidence? I don't think so.

If it was only Eyes On the Prize II though, I wouldn't be thinking that much about this... But waiter #4 is one of the three waiters with lines in that scene (the other two being Brian's and Lauren's), so let see what he does.

Joey's waiter first talks when Curt loses it and threatens the Informant, quickly jumping to defend them. Joey's character reacts almost immediately, so he must have been nearby, and is so aggressive that Curt backs down quickly. After threatening Curt with throwing him out of the Casino, he checks the Informant to see if they are okay.

The subs call this character "Manager", and it would thus explain the way he acts: he was nearby because he's in charge of everything that's going on, and he does have the power to expel costumers if they act inadequately. A manager also spends a lot of time with his employees, so it makes sense that he's protective with them.

Why then, is the next character Joey plays also called "Manager"?

This character (that, according to the subs, is the same person) has a foreign accent, something none of the other waiters had, and a silly high-pitched voice. His purpose in this scene is to finish humiliating Curt: he tells Curt he has an immense debt for the night and also rebounds his check. The manager is cordial to Tatiana, greeting her while Curt struggles with his payment. He also leaves once Tatiana suggests a solution, and, in a lower voice (similar to no moustache!Manager) says "thank you, ma'am".

Why are these two characters technically the same role? One may think it's because other actors need to be prepared for a quick change or something, but Tessa doesn't! Her next role is ensemble in Not So Bad, and they have a good 3-4 minutes until that. And if they are supposed to be different characters, why would the subtitles use the same name for him? Joey's choices also seem to be stage directions, especially in the coreo. There are too many details for it to be simply a coincidence.

What's the reason, then? Joey is playing Owen at the casino: after his first encounter during A1P3, Owen is on alert knowing that he might cross path with Curt again. He thus decides to go undercover in the casino to see if he'll meet him before attending to Von Nazi's plan. Owen wants to be close, but remain unseen, so he plays one of the waiters of the floor. However, when Curt threatens the Informant, Owen's feelings betray him and quickly intervenes, probably triggered by Curt "brutish ways". After that, Owen has to return with a new role (moustache), as he wants to know where Tati and Curt are leaving. He thus takes advantage of Curt's state to mess a little with him, a little bit of foreplay before what he has prepared for him.

TL; DR:

This also provokes so many fun little headcanons and possibilities. Like, did the Informant and Owen had a relationship then? Would Tatiana have noticed it? Does Owen really think Curt is stupid enough to not recognize someone just by a different voice and a stupid accent? I think it could give way to a lot of fun ideas (but also I do need to know why did they have Joey twice and not Joey and Tessa)

#spies are forever #saf #tin can bros #owen carvour #curtwen #agent curt mega #if I had money I'd cameo Joey just to ask about the change. like really. why. am i forgetting a tessa character?#long post #hyl rambles

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weirdly-specific-but-ok · 1 year ago

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pt II australia but i've never been there

I didn't even have to wait for y'all's responses on part I to make this because Australia is WILDING. As per usual, salutations to Arthur's grandmother's boyfriend Brian.

Everything remaining that I know about Australia:

There was an emu war. There were many emu casualties, and no human ones, but the emus won anyway. Sun Tzu is making way for the emus.

That was the only research I did on the emu wars, but as someone who met a few emus once, they were very lovely to me and very soft to pet. They also were very jabby. One of them looked deeply concerned as they looked at me, I believe they thought I was a deformed emu. I am on the winning side of the war.

During Christmas, Santa does not have a sleigh. He has a surfboard, and he does slay.

There are a lot of animals. Many have no placenta, as I recall from biology. Due to the nature of the continental drift and geographical isolation, Australian marsupials evolved separately from placental mammals, and were not wiped out by invading species. Due to convergent evolution, there are also analogous species between the placental mammals and the marsupials.

What just happened I'm sorry deep science trauma was unearthed. The point is, a lot of animals. A kangaroo is probably in your backyard. A koala just stole your girlfriend. An alligator murdered your classmate. It just happens.

KOOKOOBURRA SITTING ON THE OLD GUM TREE MERRY MERRY SOMETHING SOMETHING idk I was 3 when my mum sang me that.

The internet is awful. Rumours are that the local snake ate it.

Australia is very very pretty, I know this because of an Australian Tourism Department ad that I saw when I was 12 and had cable TV.

You must not forget your Hat. It's like the three little kittens song, but with the Hat instead of mittens.

The Wibbles are a thing. I thought they were a band. Spotify said no. I no longer know what they are.

Crocodile Dundee is a thing. I saw him in Snoopy/Peanuts.

Steve Irvin met his wife in an animal area and his daughter met her husband in an animal area. I don't know anything more these lovely folks, or what the animal area was, I'm afraid.

There is a cake with white stripes that is the Best for Birthdays.

The accent is beautiful, but I admit for years I couldn't differentiate it from British and American accents as a child because to me it sounded like the lovechild of them both and it made me very confused.

Uh, Australia exists.

Yeah, no, that's all I've got. Love to the Australian maggots.

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mechs-headcanons · 2 months ago

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marius, ivy, brian, and jonny get tics

sometimes marius whistles or his mech arm spasms, hes never had a good explination beyond "oh it just does that sometimes"/"i dont actually know why i do that!" until ivy told him

ivy blinks or twitches or clicks her tongue, the only one she had before being mechanised was the clicking (carm did a great job on her brain but over the years a few wires have fried causing her to malfunction. she gets annoyed when she has a lot at once)

brian has the same thing with the finnicky mechanism except he didnt have any before and he only gets them when on the aurora or in an unprofessional setting (even then, very rarely) he gets twitches and blinks and sometimes something in his ribcage whistles (when this happens during quiet times it makes a few of the crew jump or startle because it sounds like something out of a horror movie)

jonny bites and says swears. sometimes he says abnew texan swear or phrase in an accent so far gone that not even ivy can begin to translate. this did get him in trouble pre-mech but he could usually calm down the situation by going "oh, i hit my head real hard when i was a boy and ive gotten them twitches and yellin' ever since" (not entirely untrue, he was a very clumsy kid, but this was not the cause for them. also, read that with an accent. alternative solutions did involve a gun and/or melee weapon) he also kicks when hes laying down and his hands twitch/grab, not to be confused with his grabby hands when he wants something out of reach. he also blinks and yelps sometimes

-🐺who is having a very tic-ful moment right now (most of these are based on my own, only ones i havent experienced are words and the ribcage thing)

mmm yes. as someone who has tics, this is great. adore this. i also hate tic attacks but mostly bc i get stuck cursing for long periods of time :,3

i propose jonny with a tic where he just throws up his hands (like as if you were frustrated or something) (definitely not me projecting)

#mechcanon #askcanon #the mechanisms #jonny d'ville #ivy alexandria #marius von raum #drumbot brian #🐺 anon

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schmergo · 1 year ago

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If I had a podcast-- which I don't think I could ever do because people say I have a strange and off-puttingly untraceable accent and vocal quality that would probably distract from any audio content I'd put out-- but IF I had a podcast, I'd slowly start slipping weird stuff into that boring little stretch in the beginning where the hosts greet one another before talking about that week's content.

Like, I know the audience is only ever half listening to that part anyway. I know I am. I don't really care about if one of the hosts is "wearing a super cute new sweater she got from the TikTok store" or if another one is planning a hiking trip with her fiance. I want to hear about some small Appalachian town's niche cryptid legend or whatever.

So first I'd slowly start slipping in mildly contradicting information to test the waters. "Oh yeah, we're going on a beach trip next month, so I might be recording from this beach house. I'm excited because I haven't been to the beach in years." And slip that in for like 3 months in a row (but not every week) and see if anyone notices.

Then start making up pets. Then change the pet's name. Change it again. Add another pet that I've had since college.

Then briefly reference my nice next door neighbor Brian who watches the pets when I go to the beach house next month.

Change the pet's name again and this time casually mention my daughter. My daughter loves the beach. She's so excited to go to the beach house next month. She's never been to the beach.

Next episode I mention I'm looking for a good petsitter for my upcoming trip. Mine fell through.

Next episode, I just throw in there, "Yeah, I'm just busy stocking up for the beach trip. Sunscreen, new towels, water toys, bug spray, cave sloth spray. Yeah, the beach has a cave sloth problem right now, but they say attacks are really rare."

Next episode (this is a true crime podcast) I mention that this episode hits close to home because there's a missing person case in my neighborhood. My neighbor Brian's daughter went missing. People think the noncustodial parent took her out of state. She's probably safe, but we're all worried about her.

Next episode, I'm leaving for the beach tomorrow. I'm bringing my (only) dog with me. I spent forever cleaning out my car. Took forever getting the bloodstains off the upholstery, you know how it is. How do those even get there?

Next episode I just casually mention, "Spiders don't bother me, but I'm a little squeamish about palmetto bugs. And cave sloths. The thing that creeps me out about them is that when they take you into the pocket dimension in their cave, nobody from your previous life remembers you anymore. Oh, and I don't mind mice, but rats are a big NOPE."

I'd casually refer to myself as a childfree adult in the next episode.

Then I'd talk about how I wish my fellow podcast host could buy the apartment next to me. It's been vacant for years. Nobody has ever lived there since I moved in.

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the-suns-a-tube · 1 year ago

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The Mechanisms Cringe list @cryptile

9. TS - is above the concept of cringe (non human)

8. Ashes - not very cringe

7. Raph - nerd

6. Ivy - nerdier

5. Brian - shot into space on suspicion of witchcraft 🤣😂🤣😂. dumbass.

4. Tim - Gay

MOST CRINGE

3. Nasty - ewww ship fucker (gay^2)

2. Marius - Nerd, but not even a smart nerd. A wannabe nerd. All the cringe bits of nerd without the good bits of nerd. get kneecapitated wanker.

1. Jonny - HARMONICA PLAYING CRINGE LOOSER DUMBASS COWBOY CANT EVEN DO AN AMERICAN ACCENT

#the mechanisms #the mechs #sunny tube mech jokes #jonny d'ville #the toy soldier #gunpowder tim #nastya rasputina #drumbot brian #ivy alexandria #raphaella la cognizi #ashes o’reilly #marius von raum

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yappyappyapp · 1 year ago

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Can i rq a ringo x reader were the reader is an assistant for The beatles and is really burnt out and tired and ringo tried to care for them?<3

What’s up buddy 😝😝

Hello! First req ahh n this is so cute !!!

If I fell in love with you

Warnings: FLUFF. (And John being annoying.) (and bad writing.)

You happened to be an assistant to one of the biggest bands at the time, and it was absolutely lovely. Just kidding!! The Beatles made it a bit more difficult to work, John who would take his sarcastic and idiotic comments and remarks to a whole new level, eventually annoying the living crap out of you. George was okay, but he honestly talked your EAR of when he had the chance, how could anyone CONSIDER him the ‘quiet Beatle’? Paul was… okay, he had very pretty eyes, though. And then there was little old Ringo. He wasn’t as annoying. He had a pretty voice.

Brian had assigned you to keep an eye on the boys in a hotel in America, as it was their first time, and they strictly needed to stay in the hotel at all times for the show the following day.

“Would’ya pass me the water, Macca?” John asked innocently, his nasally British accent rang out. Paul passed over the salt as he had a burger half in his mouth. John grinned. ‘Oops.’ He muttered, still smiling as he poured the whole jug on Paul’s head. Macca’s eyes widened as the water trickled down his face and clothes, and he slowly turned to John. “It’s on, Lenny.” Paul picked a handful of whatever the heck was on the table, and hurled it towards John.

“Boys, please-“ you tried to interrupt, knowing their suits were freshly washed, dried, and ironed by indeed, you. You sighed deeply and wiped a hand down your face. You shouldn’t have signed up for this position. It was silly.

“John, food down!” Your voice raised slightly, a thing you never did, catching the attention of John, who put down the food and shrugged, still giggling at Paul, and Paul was doing the same. You could never control these boys, and it was like a war zone job if you did say so yourself.

After the food fight, no, literal war, you went back to your room and curled up on the bed, staring at the ceiling, praying to God that tomorrow wouldn’t be as bad.

A soft knock was heard on the thick wood of the door.

“Come in!” You hollered, (your nationality) accent wavered a tad.

The door creaked open. Maybe it was a serial killer? Just kidding.

Ringo stood in the doorway, plate in hand.

“hi.” You said, rushing to sit up and fix your skirt and hair, nodding in the process.

“Hello, love.” Ringo nodded, stepping farther into the threshold of your room. “Brought ‘ye supper.” He said softly, approaching your bed. You studied his face, his nose, and how his eyes were a perfect china shade of blue. You noticed how his hair falls on his forehead, and how the brown colour accentuated his rosy red cheeks.

“Why are you doing this for me?” You ask quietly, taking the plate, fingers heating up from the bottom of the plate.

“‘Cuz yer workin’ hard, and John n Paul n Goergie ain’t makin’ it easy for ye.” He shrugged and sat beside you, smiling a bit.

Gosh, his smile.

“Aww, Ringo.” You blush, smiling slightly. He smiled back and put his hand on your shoulder, squeezing it slightly and getting up. “I’m gonna run you a bath.” He grinned playfully, running off into the bathroom.

How sweet. Maybe being The Beatles assistant isn’t that bad. <3

(Ik this isn’t really the req im sorry i had trouble thinking of stuff : , ( )

#the beatles #ringo starr #hockey #mitch marner #toronto maple leafs #hockey boys #quinn hughes #axl rose #nirvana #pls like #vancouver canucks #what am i doing #john lennon #ringo starr x reader

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avalentina · 1 year ago

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The Kindest Team Guy (TKTG)

IT'S HERE! PART 1 TO THE KINDEST TEAM GUY, my Navy Sealrry AU! ENJOY!

-Ava

TKTG Masterlist

(image not mine, the white suit was giving me Navy dress white vibes tho)

One

Growing up, you were always around the same people, your mom had up and left shortly after you turned two, after that it was you and your dad. At the time, your father's call sign was 7 alpha 3, the demo guy, but that was when he was deployed and you were staying with Raina and her mom.

By the time you were 8, your dad was 7 Alpha 1, Master Chief Brian Fraiser. Your dad's team was your family. Heck to you they were your uncles. There was uncle Mitch-7 alpha 2 and Raina's dad. Uncle Jensen-7 alpha 3 (he was always the fun one, snuck you extra dessert), Uncle Craig-7 alpha 4 (he was gruff, but also a softie), Uncle Andy-7 alpha 5 (he was your favorite, because whenever he was there, so was Cheddar), Cheddar was uncle Andy's dog and the team K-9, Uncle Derrick-7 alpha 6, Uncle Dante-7 alpha 7, and Uncle Shane-7 alpha-8.

During a highly classified mission gone wrong shortly before your 16th birthday, your dad lost his life getting the rest of his team out safely. When the team returned to Coronado his body was in a pine wood box, a flag draped over the top. Now this easily could've been the traumatic life event that sent you spiraling into the world of drugs, alcohol, and all of that other horrible stuff, but it wasn't, at least not immediately. You graduated high school top of your class, you attended MIT and graduated with honors. And then you moved back home to Coronado, California. Uncle Mitch was now 7 Alpha 1 and you begged and pleaded with him to give you answers about what happened to your dad. You got the same hero speech from him and everyone else on Alpha team, including the new demo guy Harry who had just finished green team. Your formal request to the base and up the chain of command went absolutely nowhere. And finally after a year of begging for answers the right way, you turned to what you knew best, hacking.

You started small just to make sure your skills were still as sharp as could be. You chased down lead after lead after lead. Every single last tiny breadcrumb, until finally it clicked for you, all you'd need to really break open the system was access, and what better way to get it than by exploiting your connection to Seal Team 7 Alpha.

Harry was definitely the easiest mark, he knew of you but he didn't know you the way the rest of the team did, plus he was still a single male in his late twenties who enjoyed getting his dick wet. You took your time setting the trap, making it foolproof, all the way down to the strappy red top, denim miniskirt, white converse low tops and the perfect red lipstick. You walked into the cookout looking like straight fire and Harry ate it up, plus the other guys knew that Harry was one of the good ones and thus actually kind of encouraged the two of you, after all a six year age gap was nothing compared to Derrick and his new wife's 16 year age difference.

Harry asked you out on a date the very next day. To your surprise he set the bar quite high, after all he took you to Il Fornaio. He also didn't try to hide where you were going, he knew that wasn't the place you show up to in jeans and an old Coronado Amphibious Base t-shirt. Honestly, had you not been playing him, you could've seen yourself falling for him then and there. Harry was a gentleman at dinner and he insisted on holding your heels for you while the two of you just walked along the beach. He had gorgeous soft green eyes, currently trimmed dark brown curls, tattoos littered across his body like most other SEALs, and a smooth deep British accent that you found out came from his mother, his parents were divorced and he always enjoyed visiting his green beret father in the US, he had held dual citizenship almost his entire life. He told you how his father's line went back to the very first class of green berets and his decision to become a SEAL was hard on their relationship. His father was proud of course, him choosing to serve the US, but always made comments on how being a green beret wasn't good enough for Harry. In all truth, Harry just wanted to forge his own path. He was not his father and though he admired his service and bravery, Harry just wanted to carve his own way, leave the Styles name out of things.

Harry was also a very bright person as you found out, you knew he had to be in order to be a demolitions and explosives expert, but he wasn't just that kind of bright, Harry was quite the colorful person. He wore a black button up with lavender colored shorts, black gazelles, and had pink rimmed aviators folded on his not even half buttoned shirt, having undone another three since the two of you started your walk.

A chaste goodnight kiss outside your apartment building led to a deep, heated one and an invitation upstairs that he gladly accepted. Harry was strong enough to just toss you and your mildly curvy self around with ease, as was evidenced by how he quite literally just lifted your feet up off the elevator floor and threw you over his shoulder nonchalantly asking which way to your door. You kept your eyes on the way all the muscles in his back flexed as he walked and the firm ass hiding behind those shorts. You could honestly just tell that you were about to be ruined for other men, which sucked because you knew you wouldn't be able to see this one again. When he stopped in front of your door you gave his ass a quick smack just to confirm your suspicions.

"Heaven help me, even his ass is all muscle." You whispered to yourself, apparently not quiet enough though because a deep chuckle emerged from Harry.

"I'm a SEAL, and underwater explosives are one of my favorite things to handle, of course my ass is muscle." He continued, setting you upright so you could unlock your door.

"And not even a little bit cocky about it either." You commented back.

"You haven't seen me anywhere close to cocky yet love." He answered, pulling your back flush against his front. You moaned at the feeling of his well endowed package against the fleshy curves of your ass.

“I’m looking forward to it.” you said while opening your door.

Immediately after stepping over the threshold, harry had your door closed, locked, and your front pressed against it. He gave you a quick swat on the rear and moaned at the sight.

“Fuck,” he cursed before kissing you again. Harry’s mouth demanded access and you couldn’t stop him even if you wanted to(which you didn't).

“Har, touch me, please.” You practically begged, having had enough of your teasing banter for one night.

“So desperate you can’t even say both syllables of m'name anymore.” He taunted you before quite literally ripping your dress off your body, the black lace set you wore underneath was stunning on you but it didn’t stand a chance when set between the man and achieving complete mission success. It was like watching a singular piece of paper go through an industrial grade shredding machine, or ripping a flimsy receipt in half, there one second, completely gone the next. The sting from the snap of the thong sent tingles to all the right places. A quick glance up showed Harry still fully clothed as your fingers rushed to even the score.

“Well, go on then, get rid of it, know you wanna touch them, I saw you eyeing my ink.”

“It’s just… they’re just so… i just want to lick them all.” you stuttered at first before just letting it out. Harry’s eyes darkened even more as you shoved the shirt off his broad shoulders and pushed him onto your bed. You immediately climbed over him and lazily traced the ‘17 Black’ tat with your tongue before moving inwards to the swallows and down to the butterfly. Harry rid himself of his shorts while you took your sweet time on the butterfly loving the way his muscles tensed and relaxed as you swept your tongue over the lines of ink. You heard his breath catch as you reached the laurels and wet them before jumping straight to the tiger. You took a bold chance and scraped your teeth along the tiger as you made your return to his brief covered cock that is definitely leaking if the wet patch on said briefs is anything to go by. You take a hot second to feel him up over the cloth restraint before taking his cock out and looking up at him.

You bat your eyes innocently and descend, wrapping your lips around him. Up, down, hold. That’s the pattern you use, after a bit you take him further, brushing your nose against the littered hairs and running your tongue along his sac.

“FUCK.” you hear him curse and you smile before popping off for a breath. Harry pulls you up and smothers your lips with his, one hand wound in your hair and the other kneading your ass. With a quick smack he rolls so you’re pinned under him. “My turn for a taste.”

With that he lowers his face to your tits, licking and suckling until they both stand at attention for him. Leaving his hands to play, he continues south until he is right over your dripping cunt. Harry is not the jump right in and get it done kind of guy. Well, that's not true because he can be if he wants to be, or if his companion for the night begs him enough. But tonight is not one of those nights. He starts slow, completely avoiding the spots he knows you want him most. Instead going for your plush thigh, trailing his tongue down further still he presses quick kisses from the back of your knee all the way down to your ankle before repeating his movements going up the other leg.

By the time he reaches your mound again, you're a panting, whimpering, moaning mess and he loves it. Would bottle up those sounds and replay them over and over again when he needs to get himself off.

Harry continues to tease you, pressing the softest barely there kisses all over your soaked pussy.

"More, Harry, please, I need more, FUCK!" You cry out until at long last he sucks your clit right into his mouth, pops off after just a second and dives head first into your dripping heat.

"Oh, GOD! Harry, I'm about to come."

"Let it go y/n. I want every last drop." Harry replies, his voice sending vibrations through you, and just like that you're flying over the edge into the best, longest, most intense orgasm you've ever experienced.

Harry doesn't let up until he's sure he cleaned it all up.

"Fucking delicious." He says before kissing you again. The lingering bit is passed back and forth as you continue to twirl your tongue with Harry's. After a moment he pulls away and grabs a condom out of a side pocket in his shorts.

"Up to you love." He says, completely genuine, but also with a full smirk.

"Yes please, Petty Officer Styles." You teasingly sass back.

"And for full points?" He teases, slowly ripping the condom packet and rolling it on.

"Petty Officer Second Class Harry Styles." You reply, using his full rank.

"Good girl." He answers and slowly sinks into your cunt until he bottoms out.

"Fuck, you're so fucking deep Harry. Feels so fucking good."

"This fucking pussy was made for me, damnit, taking me so well darling, the perfect squeeze.

"Oh God, go, GO HARRY!" you command and like an obedient soldier he follows orders, pulling out halfway and thrusting back in. Further and further he pulls back until only his tip remains. Fucking you so thoroughly, you're glad you have a corner apartment and no shared walls in your bedroom. There would be no mistaking the moans of pleasure, the thorough banging of a headboard, and the slick sounds of Harry gliding in and out of you at a ruthless pace and consistency only a SEAL could.

You screw your eyes shut as he plunges impossibly deeper, so deep your sure he'll split you in half. He's relentless, not slowing down, not letting up. Harry plunges into you, again and again and again, you can feel the bubble rising ready to pop when he stills inside you, effectively removing you from the edge.

"Not…yet… want…to…see…if…i can…get…a…good…gush…from…you." He says in between deep, quick thrusts.

"Harry, I haven't squirted since college.

"Don't need you to squirt, just a good gush, I want you to drench my fucking cock. Makes me come harder, and I'm barely holding it back now you're so fucking perfect. Can you do that f'me? Be a good girl and gush all over m'cock?"

"FUCK!" You let out as his dirty words wash over you and make you want nothing more than just to please this hot as fuck man. Whatever he wants, you will give. Your vision goes fuzzy as you feel yourself tip over.

"Atta girl!" Harry praises you and flicks your clit just right, you can't help but continue to gush. A pleasured cry of, "Shit, yes baby," leaves his mouth as he spills into the condom.

After just a moment, he carefully pulls out and heads into your ensuite to dispose of the rubber. He returns with a warm rag and ever so gently cleans you up before tossing the rag in your towel bin. After which he climbs back into your bed behind you for a warm cuddle.

"Do you want me to stay, or would you prefer I head out?" He asks you quietly.

"Stay." You whisper just before falling asleep.

The next morning you awake to the sound of your shower running and realize that now is your chance. His wallet is still in his shorts and you quickly nab his military id before cloning it and returning the original.

When Harry exits your ensuite you're back in bed, eyes wide open as he steps out, towel drying his trimmed curls.

"Oh, you're awake. Hope you don't mind that I took a quick shower. If the guys catch me smelling like sex this morning they probably won't be happy."

"Instead you can smell like citrus and lavender?" They'll still know it's mine, I've used that stuff most of my life, helps me stay calm and it's not overbearing. Hell it's been in Mitch's house. From my sleepovers with Raina." You reply.

"Oh well, too late now. But I was thinking I could pick up a few things after my day and cook you dinner?" He asks, not being shy about wanting to see you again.

"Not tonight, I've got a full day of coding ahead of me. Won't be out of my office until late, like early morning late." You say as you walk him out. "Call me tomorrow?" You add with a wink. Harry smiles and then heads towards base.

*Harry's POV*

After a nice ride to base, on top of everything last night, I'm on fucking cloud nine. Y/N was just so fucking perfect, she's beautiful, intelligent, witty, and being in her presence is like rays of sunshine peeking through the clouds. She definitely has the spirit to be a category five hurricane, but she also just doesn't give a damn if she doesn't want to. The perfect switch, that complements mine real well. I'm practically daydreaming as I walk through the halls duffle in hand and badge at the ready. When I hit the cages, I change quickly before slapping on my tracking bracelet and slipping in my earbuds for a nice long run.

After a good hour, I swap my shorts and tank for the dive gear in my backpack. A waterproof earpiece from base command tells me where I'm headed and outlines a few details about my 'mission'. When the timer starts running down I'm quick to dive under and head towards the sonar signal. I diffuse fake bomb after fake bomb, inspect entrance hatches and disarm explosive after explosive meant to kill me and the rest of my team with tripwire traps and riggings. I go until my oxygen tank gets too low to continue at which point I head for dry land and a quick briefing with Mitch.

"The fuck are you doing looking into that op Harry?" Mitch hollers, glaring daggers at me.

"What op? I haven't looked at a digital screen other than my tracker and cell all day. I've been underwater for the last four hours, sir." I reply, having no clue what the fuck he's going on about.

"Prove it, pull up the tracker," he commands and I follow my orders without hesitation.

"Who was your acting command officer?" He asks, now clearly pissed about something else. "And give me your damn badge."

"Lieutenant Commander Danielson was my ACO sir." I reply and hand him my badge.

"With me," is all he says before leaving the room and I don't hesitate to follow.

When we reach Danielson's sector Mitch calls out, "Danny, were you Styles' ACO today?"

"Yes, Master Chief." Is the reply but Mitch is already turning to head somewhere else.

"Rai (pronounced Ray) tell me who hacked it." Mitch says to his Lieutenant daughter. She works mainly in command and is the youngest on her team of 5 highly trained data software mechanical engineers. Rai earned the respect of each and every person under her command with her impressive talent and knack for leadership she shows.

"Whoever hacked it, knows what they're doing, that's for sure, but it also wasn't actually hacked. It was cloned, meaning there's a duplicate of his id running around, but since they aren't the same composite I can't track the clone like I can the original." Rai explained.

"Just shut down his old one and get him a new one Rai, now." Mitch added before going back towards the cages. "Styles, go home and do some soul searching, see if you can figure out which of your little girlfriends or hookups or whatever you call them would've done this."

*3rd Person POV*

That is precisely what he does. He has some random movie on just for the noise, but he sits at his table making a list of all the people he’s hooked up with in the past 6 weeks. There was Britt, Katya, Grace, Brad, Liz, and you. Britt was a friends who sometimes hook up kind of thing. Grace was a really cute waitress at a diner on the pier. Brad is an intelligence officer for Seal Team 3 Delta, and Liz was on a layover to tokyo from New York that got grounded due to mechanical failures. You were obviously well, you. But something in the back of his head remembered Mitch saying ‘that op’ which could only mean your father’s op. However Katya was an American born to Russian parents who fled shortly before Putin took office. Her father was an officer in the Russian military, but not a fan of Putin. Which could make Katya seem unlikely to flip. With that he was down to two options, you and Katya. For your sake he hoped it wasn’t you, Mitch would take that personally, but Katya would be an international spy and Harry trusted his sense of someone’s character and Katya was very nice, Harry felt like she had a good head on her shoulders.

-The next morning-

Harry had an early briefing with Mitch to reveal where his soul searching led him. Walking into that briefing with unease swirling in his gut.

“Well?” Mitch asked him.

“I’m down to two, but I did bring all six names with me for you to look at as well.” Harry said to Mitch.

“Brad’s clean, we both know that, but I’ll have Rai look at the rest of these, wait, seriously?” Mitch trailed off towards the end having finally spotted your name. “No way she’s capable of that Harry.”

“With respect sir, her background is in computer science and analytics, she is extremely proficient in statistics and probability, and an eval was never done on her after that incident, as much as I hate to say it because I really do like her, we’ve no idea how losing her father affected her. She was raised by soldiers, she knows how to brush things off and make it appear like she’s coping well, she knows all of you and could easily manipulate how her emotions come off in front of all of you, which is why I consider her the prime suspect.” He states although his shoulders drop with the last part of his statement.

Mitch steps out for a few minutes and comes back with Raina. “Ask her, Rai knows Y/N better than anyone, and Rai this doesn’t prove anything.”

Harry explains his thoughts one more time and after a few seconds of deliberation and a deep breath Raina turns to Mitch and responds, “You want to know if Y/N has the skills required to pull off cloning a military id, my answer without a doubt is yes, she absolutely has the required skills, and I agree with Harry, she is excellent at masking her emotions, i’ve seen it, it hurts me to say this, but we do need to look into her. My best suggestion would be to send Harry in unannounced.” She finishes speaking, her voice conveying the warring emotions she’s currently feeling.

“Fine. Harry, any objections?” Mitch answers.

“None, Sir.” Harry responds.

“Then its on, I want you recording, it won’t transmit, we don’t want anything going up the chain yet, I still want to shield her from the worst of this if I can, right now I have to believe that she’s just a kid looking for answers. If only i’d tried harder to get them for her.”

*Y/N’s POV*

I wrap up an intense line of code before I start my 30 seconds of this hour in the military’s system. It’ll take approximately 4 days to complete that year’s worth of files doing 30 seconds each hour, but I designed this program myself and I know it will work. My VPN is completely untraceable during those 30 seconds and the same engineer would have to be watching the computer for 48 hours straight in order to see the pattern (the same 30 seconds of each hour, with 24 different combinations so that they only repeat the same 30 seconds on a military clock), because it looks like Harry is just scrolling through old files without opening any of them when they are actually being backed up to an untraceable cloud drive, where I can flip through them.

“Y/N? Are you home? I brought lunch.” Harry's voice sounds from outside my front door. I exit and lock my office quickly knowing the program will shut off and exit the navy’s systems by itself.

“Hey, I thought we said you weren't going to swing by today. Luckily you caught me while I had a few minutes of downtime from my project for work.” I say to him after opening the door.

“Yeah, sorry about that, they didn't need me on base anymore today, so I thought maybe I'd surprise you. I brought tacos.” He smiles sheepishly.

“You're lucky you're cute Styles.” I say with a smile.

After we finish eating, I go to make a move on him, sitting myself on his lap, but he surprises me by flipping us so that I'm in the chair, and being a kinky fucker he slips a pair of handcuffs around my wrists.

“I know you cloned my military ID and used it to hack into the navy's system, care to explain, something about a certain op.”

“I have no idea…”

“Please don't make this difficult Y/N, Mitch already knows. The system records who logs in and the exact time stamp, as soon as I used my badge and access code on base this morning before going for training, which I was dark for, they knew it had been hacked.”

“Harry I never meant to hurt you, that's not how this started, ok fine, hurting the navy is exactly how this started.”

“You are going to have to tell me everything, or Mitch and I can't protect you. Because for some reason, I have this need to protect you even after you hacked my military ID.”

“I haven't been the same person since before my father got killed Harry. His death is the reason I went into tech. After his death I threw myself into my degree, hoping that with time the details would be declassified, after five years they still weren't, so I tried making an official request, I just wanted to know how my father died, and not the bullshit hero excuse they use when trying to cover something up. Plus the team's story was too perfect, it was word for word, even I know that means they're hiding something. So I decided I was going to exploit my connection to 7 Alpha. You were hot, the guys were encouraging you to get with me, and frankly the sex was the best I've ever had. I hesitated that morning while you were in the shower, mainly because part of me wanted to see you again and I knew we couldn't once I actually cloned your ID. I've been chasing answers for so long Harry, and I am finally about to get them. I can't let it go, I won't let it go.”

“I know you won't, nor would I expect you to. Now I have to ask if you were planning on selling any of the information you retrieved to other nations, or putting it online anywhere?”

“No, honestly the thought had crossed my mind at one point, but I wouldn't be my father's daughter if I did. And he taught me to always get justice for those that can't get it for themselves. That was the whole point of being a SEAL. Truth, justice, and protecting those that can't from the people who mean us harm.” I wrap up and Harry pulls a device out of his back pocket and switches it off.

“A recorder, it's private don't worry, Mitch just wants to make sure we don't have to get command involved. He was blaming himself earlier. My hope is that we can forgive each other, because whatever this is between us, that's been going on for months, even though our first official date was three days ago, I don't want it to end either.”

“You… you can really forgive me for hacking the navy? Command isn't going to arrest me?”

“The teams are a family, one you were born into, they aren't going to turn on you. Especially when they all wanted to tell you in the first place. And someday, our kids will be a part of that family too.”

There was an awkward bit of silence for about a minute before the laughter broke out.

“Yeah, I can't believe I just said that.” Harry said, though the smile on his face told me he was seeing it too. This was just the beginning for us.

Hope you enjoyed! Let me know what your thoughts are!

-Ava

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squarebracketsmileyface · 5 months ago

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hot take, Brian is 100% the type that knows damn well he has power over people because of dat southern accent, so he uses it to get his way constantly. he LOVES flustering Tim and/or Jark by sweet-talking them, calling them pet names like darlin' or sugar bum (a term in which Brian Haight jestingly called Tim Sutton during one of Tim's MH Watch-A-Long streams back in 2020) and complimenting them to the point that they just turn to putty in his hands lmao. i can see Tim or Jark having a bad dysphoria day, when here comes Brian crooning that they're the most handsome man/most beautiful woman in the whole world, and Tim or Jark just get almost high from the love.

MOST IMPORTANTLY TO ME, though, is thinkin about Brian sweet-talking to the kids as well - NOT THE SAME WAY HE DOES TO HIS PARTNERS OBVIOUSLY, but i love the idea of him saying something like 'hey, pretty girl' to Birdie in the mornings when she gets out of bed, or him calling Jesse 'my sweet li'l man' (i know there's a stigma with the term li'l man but damn it it's sweet to me so fuck it). and the kids get all giggly and shy because it makes them feel so loved and special aaaa

don't get me wrong, Jark and Tim are loving and sweet to the kids and are both mushy-gushy as well, but in my mind's eye, Brian is just the KING of soppyness. he is the one that's always on the hunt to find opportunities to give them kisses and cuddles, or even just hold their hand. i know you've mentioned he's the stern parent between himself and Tim, the one that lays down the boundaries and upholds them, but at the end of the day they're still his babies, so you best bet that the kiddos will still come to him for cuddles on the couch before bed <3

SORRY THIS GOT LONG but loving Bubba Brian makes me go brrrrrr

Omg yes yes yes

I don't know what it is about Brian, maybe it's something to do with the fact that Hoodie never speaks out loud, but I love the idea of him being a sweet talker, having a silver tongue, having a voice people absolutely fawn over.

He definitely uses it against his partners, whether that's to fluster them and see them go red in the cheeks or to get something he wants. He never hesitates to whip out that pretty accent and a smattering of petnames and terms of endearment because it always works like a charm. I think his favourite thing to do is throughout a day just keep making the petnames he's using more and more ridiculous but always using the same exact tone, so he'll go from 'baby' to 'sugar bum' to 'schnookum wookums' to whatever the fuck else he can come up with. He likes to see them almost go to be all "awww 🤭" before they catch onto what he actually said and go through all five stages of grief before threatening to divorce him.

He'd definitely use it to help on dysphoria days too. Idk something about him putting on a bit of a thicker southern accent to compliment them how they need it just makes them feel even more at home in their skin and like they're being perceived how they want to be than the same compliments in any other accent. He comes up with the best compliments too, like ones that are so weirdly specific they make Tim/Jark laugh while also settling nicely into their brains like "the way I nod my head along to music is so feminine? 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰" Or "my thumbnails are a really masculine shape? 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰" And the thing is is that when they've tried to figure out if Brian's just saying shit, they always find out he's not. He has the perfect, personalised explanation all ready for them like he's been thinking about it for weeks.

And with Birdie?? Yea :}

That girl grows up knowing she's the smartest, prettiest, more interesting and brave and amazing kid in the world. Brian makes it a point to compliment something interesting or special about her/that she's done every single day and Tim and Jark pick it up too after not long. Brian leaves little notes in her lunch box, under her pillow, in her clothes pockets, under her toys and games, for her to find. He's also an absolute fucking menace because he and Birdie will gang up on the other two, and Birdie will whisper in his ear what she wants, and he'll use his best puppydog eyes and prettiest of pleases to get her what she wants. If Jark and Tim are managing to hold their ground (not on big things, but "five more minutes?" And "can I have one more spoon of ice-cream?" Stuff like that that Brian knows Tim and Jark don't actually mind about)

And once Jesse's in the mix? Yeah Tim and Jark stand no fuckin chance. If they wanna stop the kids getting their way they'll have to find a way to take Brian out. Jesse mimics Brian too, especially when he's learning to speak. So you have Brian already being insanely sweet in that pretty voice of his, then a tiny little baby trying to do the same. It's the cutest fucking thing and Tim and Jark die every fucking time, because baby babble with a little bit of a southern accent? Fucking adorable, literally the cutest thing in the world.

Also Brian reading the kids bedtime stories.

Tim stands leaning against the doorway while Brian has birdie in his lap and Jesse in her lap, all leaning precariously on each other while he tries not to drop his book and lose their page. Usually he has to read from kids encyclopaedias, because both those kids are autistic and love insects and lizards. (And also because when I was little my mum also had to read me encyclopaedias for my bedtime stories 💀)

Tim and Jark are so fucking baffled and in love. Like "look at our weird fucking kids 🥹 they're so strange and we love them so much."

Also there's stigma around lil man?? It's such a cute name for a kid cos like, look, over there, that really is a little man, a little lady. Especially with the way kids like to pretend to be all big and grown us and serious sometimes. Like yeah, that's a little man right there dressing up in his dad's clothes and constantly walking out of shoes that are a million sizes too big for him, a right little gentleman look at him go

#asks #marble hornets #jay merrick #tim wright #brian thomas #mh jam #mh brim #mh bram #mh bray #mh sorry its locked #marble hornets oc #pretty girl propaganda au #sorry this took a while ive been all over the place when it comes to writing almost anything recently #marble hornets fanfic

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bardoftheshire · 2 years ago

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My top 10 babygirls because I love them🤭

10) Paul Dano

(He might just be the most babygirl coded of them all actually).

9) Michael Cera

(Y'all have to hear me out on this one I beg of you guys...)

8) Robert Sheehan

("I do like an accent,)🤭

7) David Tennant

(His nose, his hair, his eyes, EVERYTHING!?)

6) Aaron Taylor-Johnson

(I live eat and breathe for Vronsky ATJ, guys).

5) Brian Tyree-Henry

(Need I say less??)

4) Anthony Perkins

(PLEASE GOOD GODS HE WAS SO FUCKING PRETTY, LOOK AT HIM!)

3) Bob Odenkirk

(I could've chose a better photo but I love how silly Bob looks in this).

2) Brian Quinn

(My god I need him so bad).

1) Patrick Stump

(He's so cute, I love him and his sluttly little glasses and sideburns).

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awigglycultist · 2 years ago

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VHS Christmas Carols first watch thoughts!

Omg the opening number is such a bop

JAMES DOING THE GRIDDY OMG

I loved the "it's time... Pennies" lines

I love Janaya

Jim and Della are great

The songs are SO 80s sounding, it's so great, especially my hair/my watch, and they've all been great so far

OOOHH THE MOMENT WHERE SHE RUSHED DOWN THE STREET AND SELLS HER HAIR IS SO GOOD ALSO SCROOGE?

This song is WILD

"you're more beautiful than ever" AHHH AWW

DONT CRY NO

Omg Jim not wanting to say he gave the watch away yet and just wanting to be close to Della

AUGH

"because if just a thought can count why not just tell them how it was thought about" AHSHDKSKS

OMG JIM PUTTING THE WATCH CHAIN AROUND HER NECK LIKE A NECKLACE AND DELLA PUTTING A A COMB INTO HIS HAIR AHH

Omg Joey's, Lauren's and Brian's voices/accents in this

BRIAN MOUTHING "WHAT THE" AJSJDBSOS

Lauren's face when the match girls tries to get her to buy a match lmao

Btw the lighting in this show is beautiful

Poor little match girl just someone buy a match!

Scrooge again??

Oh boy here come the magi again

Matchstick Magic is so good

Oh boy the grandma this is where things start getting sad

Yup she's dead now

Oh Clark talking about turning a blind eye to ppl oh boy oh jeez

OMG WAIT THIS SONG TRANSITIONING TO HOW THE NEXT STORY IS ABOUT SCROOGE AND HOW HE LEARNS THAT LESSON

Omg Scrooge blowing the candle out

IT'S TIME

"and he really hates YOU" scared me jdjdjd

Love how they're like actually cowering in fear of him

I enjoying AJ's take of Scrooge and Brian's take of Fred

Bob giving a wave during "here's my man Bob Cratchit"

Scrooge standing on the set above Bob is a great little detail to make him scarier

Oh the way aj sings "theres something I need to sayyyy! Bah humbug! BAH HUMBUG!" scratches my brain

"Scrooge gives a shriek" "AH" JASKAKSISN

I love hurt how confused and scared looking Scrooge is

Ugh marelt forcing Scrooge to sit back down and turn is SO GOOD

AJ'S REACTION TO THE 3 GHOSTS

The ghosts wrapping him in chain omg omg

Oh woah new part to this interlude song

Jaime's voice here omg

Scrooge doing the jump rope too sjdbdb

The slow mo dancing shdhdb

Love Curt's young Scrooge he's such a nerd (I know in about to hate him)

Wait the reverse, pause and fast forward symbols each lighting up depending on if they're in the past, present or future

Ugh That Scrooge is so good

Omg the way Scrooge looks so sad when looking at Belle and then him getting up into young Scrooge's face when yelling at him

Omg the way he gets so quite on "you don't know what you've lost"

I know he's jdut on the floor bc he's in bed but at first it just looks likes he's contemplating life sjfbfjd

XMAS NOW OUR BOY

"maybe you're a greedy dick" "that one" djdjdn

Present PUSHING Scrooge and then making him dance!!

Go off Scrooge! Dance!!

Scrooge and Present dancing together is so fun!!

Plz the little dance in the interlude after Christmas Electricity ndndjdnd

Scrooge copying Present's dance lol

NOT THE HAND HELD MICS LIKE IT'S KARAOKE IT'S REMINDING ME THE ORGINAL AVHSCC DURING 2020

The way Curt shrugs after "Peter!"

THE WAY TIM SEEMS JUST LIMP PRETTY MUCH WITH THE WAY BOB AND THE KIDS ARE CARRYING HIM AROUND

Brian using the care bear as a mic lol

The way James says "harassed" and AJ says "nooo spirit" and James says "BAH HUMBUG" scratches my brain so much!!

OMG BRIAN ACTUALLY HAS BUTTON UP INSTEAD OF JUST THE TINY TIM RACECAR SHIRT

JIM AND DELLA ARE THE ONE IN DEBT OF SCROOGE

I love just how happy they are, they're HYPED

The way AJ says "tenderness" also scratches the brain

AUGH BOB HOLDING THE CAREBEAR THIS PART ALWAYS SAD BUT OUCH

THE WAY SCROOGE GOES UP EVERYONE TRYING TO SAY HE'S CHANGED!!!

Ugh the DESPERATENESS AJ protays!

GET HIS ASS DRAG HIM DOWN INTO THE GRAVE

THE MATCH GIRL THE MATCH GIRL OH MY GODDDDDDD AND HIS LITTLE DANCE WITH HER AND HE'S BUYING A MATCH OMG OH OH THIS IS GETTING TO ME

"SO HAPPY TO HAVE MET YOU" I love how intense Scrooge is

OMG JIM AND DELLA ARE BEIGN FORGIVEN OF THEIR DEBT

THE WATCH HOLY FUCK

SJDJDJDBAJ the glasses dropping onto the ground and AJ trying to find them

GOD THAT WAS SO GOOD!!!!!!!

#starkid #vhsccs #vhs christmas carols #vhsmas #vhscc #vhs christmas carol

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1spy · 3 months ago

Text

In the summer of ’96, I was about to enter my fourth year of college and my second year at the University of Houston. I was looking for a new place, and I had heard through a friend that a fellow UH student was looking for a new roommate, so I got his number and reached out to him.

Patrick rode his bike up to meet me while I was working box office at the Landmark River Oaks 3, the arthouse theater at the corner of Shepherd and West Gray. He seemed even taller and skinnier than me. Older too, with shards of grey in his jagged mop of black hair. He was gangly and wore glasses, and he talked with a funny accent I’d never heard before. He was from Queens or Flushing, but it was not a New York accent. He spoke like a witty professor, every word considered and sculpted before it was spoken. He was an architecture student, and I was to Iearn later he was a guy who built his words carefully, and who listened well, so that you could add to the structure.

We met and chatted briefly at the theater, then I drove over the next day to check out the place. He was renting a spacious but spare two bedroom upstairs apartment in the heart of Houston’s Montrose neighborhood, which was known as the city’s gay / bohemian neighborhood. But in the mid-90s it was one of Houston’s only truly walkable neighborhoods. Rent was $550 plus utilities, and I was to pay half.

I moved in within a week after only meeting twice. And in retrospect, I have no idea how Patrick put up with me. I was loud and opinionated and I smoked in the apartment. I would do dishes, but I was not neat. I would talk constantly while he tried to work at his drafting table in the kitchen. He didn’t have a TV when I moved in. I insisted on getting cable. Where he once had enjoyed a quietude with his former female roommate, I was a jackass braying about.

But if Patrick had reservations about me moving in, he made no mention of it. And I took to him immediately. He had a combo record / cd player on one side of his drafting table and a box of vinyl record albums on the other. I loved going through his music and listening to stuff I’d never heard. I remember he had a couple of Orchestral Maneuvers in the Dark (OMD) records, and I’d never heard of them. Simon and Garfunkel. Talking Heads. Brian Eno's Music for Airports. Dire Straits’ self-titled debut. He also had Beatles Past Masters on CD, and I had never listened to the Beatles before outside of what I knew from the radio. In the two and half years I lived with Patrick, I would fully absorb Revolver, Abbey Road, and The White Album. I also made my way through the Beatles Anthology documentary on VHS which came out in 1996.

In 1996, my music collection was much more extensive than Patrick’s, but he wasn’t much interested in the music I liked. I would play him stuff, and he’d say listen for while, before saying something like, “Interesting” or “Hmmm.” He eventually would admit he wasn’t very interested in most of the stuff I played him. And he didn’t spend time combing through my collection the way I had dissected his. Patrick had an intense relationship with a small number of songs and albums he already liked, and he listened to them repeatedly. At the time I met him, he wasn’t listening to much new music at all.

There was one band I played for him that he really liked, and fortunately it was my favorite band of all time: Yo La Tengo. After I showed it to him, he listened to their album Painful a ton in his obsessive way. Sometimes jamming it all night while he worked on his portfolio projects. I was proud as hell. I at least had one significant victory in my tiny, personal campaign to win him over to my favorite musics.

I talked to Patrick recently, because I told him I was writing this essay about him and Yo La Tengo. We discussed the day I walked up Montrose Boulevard to Soundwaves to buy the new Yo La Tengo CD, I Can Hear the Heart Beating as One. Almost 30 years later we both remembered it was a sunny afternoon when I returned home and popped into the tray and hit play.

“I took to it immediately,” Patrick said. “I didn't have that kind of natural reticence that I normally have with with any new music. Like I just, I just kind of glommed onto it.” As he did with Sade and Marvin Gaye’s “What’s Goin’ On?,” he became obsessed with one song in particular playing it over and over again for weeks. That song was the closest thing the band ever had to a hit: “Autumn Sweater.”

As Patrick and I talked about the song, it dawned on me that I had misunderstood the lyrics for literally the entire time I’ve listened to the song. In my head, I always thought it was a date situation, a girl was coming over to go on a date with the singer. That’s why he’s nervous when he hears the knock at the door and “couldn’t catch my breath.”

But Patrick’s reading of the song is that it’s about a couple who are already together. One of them (Ira Kaplan, who sings and plays organ on the song) is an introvert and the other (Georgia Hubley on drums) is having a group of people over to hang out.

“What any introvert really dislikes, Patrick said, “is the idea of people coming over. We agreed a week ago that this would be a good idea for everybody to come over, but now it's actually happening, and I, I'm struggling to deal with it.”

Suddenly, talking to him, it’s obvious Patrick is right about the song. In 1997, Georgia and Ira had been married for 10 years and writing songs as Yo La Tengo since 1984. In the song, Ira has agreed to host this party, but he’s simply lost having to talk to all these people when what he really wants to do is “slip away / wouldn’t that be better / me with nothing to say / and you in your autumn sweater.”

Even if I was wrong about it, with Yo La Tengo and “Autumn Sweater” I had finally broken through. Patrick liked something I played for him. But it was frustrating too, because he wasn’t really into the whole album like I was. "Autumn Sweater” wasn’t even my favorite song on the record. Probably wasn’t my fourth or fifth favorite song. What did Patrick like so much about it?

“I loved Simon and Garfunkel and I loved, you know, other other, like folksy music,” Patrick said. “I really seem to enjoy music that one would be incapable of dancing to. But like, here, you had introduced me to a band that wrote this completely grooving song with with, like an introvert’s voice at the center. Yeah, so, like, I didn't, I didn't know that there could be a song like this. I didn't know that a song like this was possible.”

“He’s not shouting,” Patrick continued. ”He’s something between talking and whispering. ‘I tried my best to hide in a crowded room. It's nearly impossible.’”

The more we talked, I started to appreciate the way “Autumn Sweater” spoke to the odd-couple collision between Patrick and me. Patrick, reserved, quiet, studious, older than me. And, certainly at the time, early in my 20s, I was not quiet, studious, or reserved. I hosted parties. I drank and smoked. I played in a rock band and practiced guitar quite loudly. I wrote and sang all my songs in the living room without regard to the silence.

“Autumn Sweater” is a lonely dance party of a song that seemed to capture both of us. A minor key organ and quiet singer ruminating his way through a party in his own home he wants badly to escape. When they play it live, though, it has a monster beat. Because Kaplan’s bandmates, Hubley and bassist James McNew, are both hammering away on the drums throughout the song. “Autumn Sweater” is the sound of that organ trying to slip away from the persistent, oblivious rhythm swirling all around it.

But if Patrick and I were an odd couple, we remember the two years and change as a beautiful time for both of us. We read the New York Times together on Sundays and drank our coffee. We’d watch Law and Order and Martha Stewart. Play Mario Kart on Nintendo 64. In a city where nearly everyone has to drive everywhere, we mostly walked and rode bikes, and took the bus. Living in the heart of city, wherever we went felt like a college campus. Neither of us had money to burn. But we could get 99 cent pizza at Bambolino’s on the corner and $1 margaritas at Chapultepec across the street.

Each of us late into our college years, with no other pressing responsibilities and oceans of free time. It’s was the time of your life where two years feels like 20. I could write a whole book about my adventures with Patrick in those last few years before graduation. Maybe one day I will.

If you’re this far down, you probably feel like I already did.

Favorite Lyrics:

So I looked for your eyes And the waves looked like They’d pour right out of them I’ll try hard, I’ll try always, But its a waste of time If I can’t smile easily Like in the beginning

#yo la tengo #1spy #autumn sweater #indie rock #roommates #houston #htown #HTX #Spotify

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