#But it seems like some fanfic shit

[littlemissizzy05]

Ik this is my fanfiction blog but imma rant about this dream that I had because I am SICK and TIRED of having this dream.

Ok so, I have this recurring dream, so to speak. The aspect of the dream that always stays the same is that I'm in love with this guy and he loves me too, but there's always something that keeps us apart. Most of the time it's just this unspoken thing that we know about the other's feelings and we're aware that the other knows. EXCEPT, in this dream he confessed... But not out loud.

I don't remember everything about the dream but he was driving me to a hotel because *somebody* was after me and I would be safe at the hotel. In the console was a stack of pieces of paper that I had cut up into like sticky note size for a reason that I can't remember. But, I guess it wasn't actually needed for that purpose so the guy just took to writing me notes on the papers. Most of the notes were just to tease/annoy me but sometimes he would write little reminders or stuff that was meant to make me laugh. Also, it's important to note we seemed to have a playful, bickering type of relationship because we kept bickering throughout the drive.

So, we made a stop on the way to the hotel and he hesitated before writing another note and then shyly giving it to me. I was taken aback by his shy demeanor but looked down to read the note. Only for him to snatch it away from me, but he was too slow. I had read the beginning and it said "I love you always and forever..." He had written like a whole paragraph but he snatched it away before I could read the rest.

He gave me a different note which I didn't bother to read because I knew he was trying to distract me. I shot him an annoyed glare and he handed me back his love confession. I could see how embarrassed he was so to spare him, I decided to read the rest of the note once I got to the hotel. I didn't acknowledge that I read any of his note and he didn't speak either. We ended up driving in silence the rest of the way to the hotel.

When we arrived, he got out the car to hand my bags to the valet and to ensure my safety. I, however, stayed in the car because I was still in shock and my mind was racing. I knew this would be the last time we saw each other for a while and that we'd have no way to communicate while we were separated. He knocked on my door and asked if I was getting out and I told him to give me a moment.

I took the pen and a piece of paper and began to write. I didn't have much time to write so I just wrote a quick little message. He opened his door and sat back in his seat as he asked me what was taking so long, and I just handed him my note.

All I had managed to write was "I love you too". He tried not to react but I saw the way his eyes softened and he fought not to smile. I took both notes that he had given me and put it in my pocket (yes, both, because I kept all the notes he gave me). Then, I smiled at him and left.

I never got to read the rest of the love confession or the other note he gave me as a distraction because I woke up😭

ALSO while I was dreaming, I knew his name and I knew what he looked like. He wasn't faceless. I can't remember his name or his looks now, though💀 When I try to remember, all I can picture is his black hair... I think. I also remember that he was annoyingly charming. Like I thought he was charming and I was annoyed by that fact.

I always forget the guy when I have this type of dream and it's getting really annoying. Also, why can I never get my happily ever after with this guy??? Why is there always something that separates us?

Ok, end of rant. Hope my dream was at least entertaining lol

[rollercoasterwords]

I have, a genuine question for you. Do you acknowledge the racism in the original AYTD or at least know about it? Like how MsKingBean uses slurs and racist stereotypes?

hey, so, i'm a bit apprehensive about answering this because...it doesn't feel like a very geniune question to me, if i'm being honest. "do you acknowledge x thing" is a question that is inherently set up so that i'm meant to answer "yes, i acknowledge that x thing is true," because the alternative is saying "no, i don't acknowledge that x thing is true," which is already framing this interaction as if to disagree with you would be a kind of failure on my part to do some due diligence of engaging critically with a text. and the fact that you say mskingbean89 used slurs in atyd shows me that you haven't even engaged with the text, because that simply...isn't true.

if what you're referring to when you say "slurs" is the anti-romani stereotypes--this is coming from an extra chapter in the bootleg tapes focusing on greyback, where there is a slur used to describe his living situation + he + his family were portrayed as nomadic irish people in a way that was insensitive. people who read that chapter and then went back to the canon story with that characterization in mind rightfully pointed out that it was fucked-up. mskingbean89 addressed those criticisms by adding this note to the beginning of that bootleg chapter:

personally, i think this was a good way to take accountability + acknowledge the mistakes she made with that portrayal. she was a human being who made an ignorant mistake, which then just happened to get absolutely blasted to millions of people--she did not have sensitivity readers or editors looking over her fanfiction, because she did not write it expecting it to reach the level of popularity that it has. to be honest, i am not really sure how she could have better acknowledged her mistake, aside from just....not having made it in the first place. she explains her intentions without acting as though that intent cancels out harm, owns up to the fact that the stereotyping was harmful regardless of intention, and provides resources to learn while also committing to be more mindful + educate herself moving forward. honestly, that's exactly the response i would hope to see from someone who makes a mistake like this one.

i agree with you that people reading atyd should acknowledge + understand the racism regarding romani stereotypes stemming from that bootleg chapter, which is why i think it's great that there is a note literally built into the beginning of that chapter acknowledging it! but i feel as though there's been this like...game of telephone happening online when it comes to atyd, where there are now people who have never even read the story talking about things that quite literally do not appear in the base text itself. i've also seen people acting as though mkb herself did not address these issues when they were raised to her, which is just...patently false.

and so what i'm wondering here is what you're looking for from me when you ask a question like "do you acknowledge the racism in atyd." anyone who actually reads the texts has to acknowledge the racism in that bootleg chapter, because mkb puts that acknowledgment front and center at the beginning. and also like...in the part of the fandom i'm in, in the conversations i've listened to or taken part of regarding atyd, people have acknowledged the issues with that bootleg chapter and the ways it reflects back on the main story. so what do you mean by "acknowledge" when so many people, including mkb herself, have already... acknowledged it? what action are you calling for, and who are you calling for it from?

because like. if what u actually want to say here is that atyd is Irredeemably Problematic and we should all like....shun it? universally agree that it's Bad? then it's just like. it is up to each individual reading the story to decide whether that specific portrayal of greyback in the bootleg chapters is something that ruins the story completely for them or whether they still think the story as a whole holds worth. personally, i feel like i can acknowledge that there are issues with mkb's portrayal of greyback and i need to be mindful of that when reading the story so as not to internalize harmful stereotypes while still finding atyd to be a masterpiece that really beautifully deals with a lot of nuanced issues regarding class and disability and systems of power. this is just part of thinking critically when you read; many famous and beloved works of fiction contain the biases of their authors or have mistakes or issues in the way they portray things that are a product of ignorance. and i know everyone reading marauders fanfiction should understand this, because if u genuinely think that a character being negatively stereotyped means u should throw the entire work in the trash, then none of u would be touching harry potter fanfiction with a five foot pole in the first place.

so, anon - if you have actually read atyd, and there are issues with racism that you have found that i am unaware of, and not just telephone-game twitter posts of people taking shit out of context that you're accepting as truth without bothering to engage with the work yourself--if you want to have a real conversation about it, i would invite you to come to me as an actual person and not an anonymous ghost in my inbox. my dms are open, but when it comes to talking about serious issues, i tend to find it more genuine if the person coming to me actually cares enough and believes in what they're saying enough to say it as themself. and if you haven't read atyd and are just parroting things you've heard other people say online then i would invite you to actually sit down and read the work and form your own opinions on it before getting back to me. i know that might sound harsh, but honestly i'm just completely fed-up at this point with all the bad-faith takes and misinformation that i've seen people spreading about atyd just because they think it's cool to dislike a popular thing.

[boxwinebaddie]

is fingerbang in rm?

oooooh...iiiiinteresting.

but i'm gonna say no. :/

i Wish i could put them in rm because that would be so iconic, but there's just too much crossover with the characters; i wouldn't know how to work it into the story with everything going on already.

however! i will raise you this:

so back in the stone ages when i used to run the BWB twitter, i came across a post that you might remember me retweeting/replying to a tweet with a picture of fingerbang kyle and regular stan in it.

at the top of the post, someone retweeted it saying something to the effect of 'ugh, i hate celebrity x fan plots, so boring lol' and maybe it's petty but that made me heeeellla overprotective and Viciously Angry bc that's the plot premise of my entire fanfic and i literally don't think it's boring at all??? yes, i'm insane.

that pissed me off, lmao.

but anyways i was looking at that picture of finger bang kyle and regular boy stan and was like...oh my god it's just rm in reverse???

so here's my pitch for the reverse remember au fic aka...

forget?

shdlkshdlkah

so i think that the plot premise or chapter one would hinge on the fact that it is shelley's birthday. and for shelley's birthday, she and her friend got two tickets to go see finger bang live and in concert, world famous boy band, like one direction, beatle-mania level famous.

buuuuuut her friend backs out at the last minute, so she's left with this extra ticket and that girl was her ride so she basically can't go.

let's leave that off to the side for a moment though, so i can tell you a little about what i think forget au stan marsh would be like...

who i think...

is an absolute fucking LOSER.

like i am talking major loner-stoner energies, has literally one friend and i think its butters who is also his roommate, never goes outside, literally just holes up in his room playing his guitar, writes a bunch of really dark edgelordy songs no one will ever hear — they are actually quite good, but again, sort of political and bleak and beat-poetic, is a serious music snob, like really really fucking annoying about music...might bring him working at vinyl tap back, but i also support city wok delivery boy stan, basically only goes outside to barely pay attention in class ( he's a music major at cu denver ), go to work so that he can buy more pizza, beer, video games and i think he's saving up for a really fancy guitar or to see shows which are his safe place.

i predict that he probably is still bleach blonde stan, i maintain that he can still be half mexican like ravenstan, could be really cute if he brushed his hair and stopped slouching, vegetarian, wears the same beanie from high school, rotates the same like four or five tee shirts which are all covered in stains, full of holes, etc. most of them are band shirts or 100% hemp tegridy farms work shirts from when he was working there in high school which he barely got through, btw, cs get degrees, probably wears the iconic stan leather jacket that is obnoxiously covered in pins, big baggy jeans, like, huge, and ofc, the stan marsh combat boots bc he's an midwest emo king.

i assume he has all the stan piercings, certainly the nose one...should i give him the ravenstan lip piercing for shits and gigs? some tattoos?

but yeah, i love him but he's pathetic. he has like zero social skills. he had one girlfriend and it was wendy and they broke up a million times because he kept accidentally fucking up by boyfailing too hard. bi but i don't think he really knows that. like i feel like he has some bi panic moments but he kind of just takes a shot and swallows those down and tries not to think about it so stan probably thinks he's straight.

interesting.

anyways! stan is gearing up to go to this gigantic metal festival that he's ben waiting for..Forever but then gets a call from his mom who is like "stanley marsh, it is your SISTER'S BIRTHDAY! you are driving her to this concert and that is final!" he complains soooooo much like shelley why are you fucking ruining my life to go see gay one direction????? holy shit???? i hate my life????

but the hotel room(s) are already paid for and stan has the tegridy farms family truck ( riley made me moderately obsessed with little beat up pick up truck farm boy stan i love him ) aka weed for speed aka mary jane ( she is stan's baby ) so he picks shelley up who tries to play finger bang the whole way there but stan is a snob and he is like i am driving i am picking the music, but shelley and him keep fightng and probably break the radio and they have to sit in silence hdlksah, the whole time shelley is going on and on and ON about finger bang and how obsessed she is specifically with kyle, who stan doesn't know much about other than the fact that he is little and ginger?

sigh we can have tall boyfail loser midwest emo weed farm skater boy stan and short cute fresh faced world famous popstar kyle as a treat, you are welcome to everyone, but mostly riley.

also because i gave jersey an accent, i mean, i don't think forget finger bang stan has a super strong accent but there's probably a little twang there just from being all the way out there in super hick nowheresville rural colorado, it kind of embarasses him so he doesn't talk much or very loudly at all, might have a slight stammer?

idk i love him he's a qt. <3

anyways they get there and it is PACKED!!!!! it is literally hell, stan is so overstimulated holy shit, like forget ( why am i calling it that like that is so fucking funny ) stan is so introverted, he is not vibing. also because it's all mostly screaming girls with signs and stuff, shelley is one of them, she is holding up this really obnoxious one that says 'DEFILE ME, KYLE' on it like gOOOOOOD.

he's in hell fr fr fr.

but it gets worse because right before they are about to get in, this group of rabid fans runs by and one of them knocks her red sugary drink all over stan and completely douses his shirt. he's ready to die. the hotel is too far away, so he has to go into the stadium store and buy something to wear but sigh...the only option...

is black tee-shirt with the words FINGERBANG ME <3 in a big pink glittery font...but sigh...*raven vc* at least it's black. he has no choice but to buy it rip the guitar fund.

he goes back in with shelley and the finger bang boys come out i think its cartman, kenny, kyle and wendy but...wendyl? might be kinda spicy if stan's ex-boyfriend was in fb, also bc that makes him confused about his sexuality...nina rm/fb trans rights, baby!

stan hates everything about their upbeat, capitalistic, commercialist vibe, all of it is really obnoxious bubble gum pop stuff meant to be peddled to teenage girls, its almost propaganda and makes stan sick.

which, speaking of, the songs are bad, but the singing, he's realizing, is actually quite good, particularly the singing done by the little ginger finger bang boy who shelley is obsessed with who...for some reason stan really cannot take his eyes off of. he also thinks he might be crazy but he swears they accidentally locked eyes a couple times, which meant stan had to take a swig of flask he stashed in his jacket.

but i'm gonna finish this post out with a bang or, rather, a finger bang if you will, because i think ala the virigin sacrifice schtick in rm, they probably single some audience members out...

shelley picks the extremely oppurtune moment before that happens to use the restroom and basically pawns her gigantic DEFILE ME KYLE SIGN off on him, so he's just holding this kyle sign and the FINGER BANG ME teeshirt so naturally, fingerbang kyle thinks he's a fan, gets really close to him, winks, steals his beanie, replaces it with his white, blingy, fluffy ushanka and says

"Hey Cutie,

Wanna Get Finger Banged?" <3 ;) xxx

LKHDSLKSHLKHSLKHD I CAN JUST SEE RURAL BOY MIDWEST EMO STAN HEAVY BREATHING HAVING A BI PANIC ATTACK LIKE OHHHH GOD OH GOD LITERALLY CANT SPEAK FEELS LIKE HES GONNA THROW UP FB!KYLE RIZZ IS WAY TOO STRONG HELP

anyways...Scene.

this was so funny to me. like obviously it's not a real thing or anything but it was interesting to imagine an alternative world where finger bang is the famous band and kyle is the big celebrity, not stan. i think maybe they're looking for a 5th member and butters joins the band??? also maybe style have some secret red string of fate tying them together that neither of them know abt?

live, laugh, fingerbang.

uncle nina, celebrity x fan enthusiast

[horsegirlhob]

I'm not an Angel hater by any means however I do think Spike should get to be as big of a dick to him as he wants to be and people shouldn't get to say shit about it.

[baejax-the-great]

Sometimes I think writers are more prone to the "If I'm not perfect at this on the first go, and if I don't get incredibly popular immediately, it was pointless and I quit forever."

I totally get that impulse. I have it, too.

Writing, like anything, requires practice and time. I think this is difficult to internalize, because unlike art, the difference in quality is not immediately obvious to your eyes. Two chunks of writing side by side just look like two chunks of writing.

I think I was writing for three years before I felt like my writing was noticeably better than my earlier stuff AND I had started writing much more quickly. That is a long time to wait to see improvement. Moreover, that improvement wasn't reflected in my AO3 metrics at all, because I had gone from writing a more popular ship to a less popular one (and from there a rare pair, hah!). If popularity had been my goal, then improving my writing was far less important than writing ships and tropes with wide appeal.

I started drawing in 2020, and I'm still terrible at it (which absolutely reflects my lack of dedication to practicing). I think for me, the difference was I had never picked up a pencil with the intention of drawing something, so that first monstrous picture I made wasn't discouraging at all. I was surprised I was able to make anything that looked remotely like a person.

Most of us have been writing in some form since we were children, even if that writing was never specifically fiction, so we feel like we should be automatically better at it than a 30yo who picks up a marker for the first time and can't draw a straight line. But writing a story is a different skill than academic writing, and much like drawing, if you don't practice it with some regularity and intention, your improvement won't be that noticeable.

This is not meant to discourage people by saying you have to write for an hour a day if you want to be any good at it. I don't believe that. My point is more that when nobody likes my fail-drawings, my reaction is pretty much, yeah, not surprising. I'm drawing for niche fandoms and I still have a ways to go before my compositions have any sort of universal appeal. Popularity and "success" (whatever that means) was never the point.

I could choose not to post any of my drawings until I'm an expert some ten years from now or whatever, but I don't really mind if my flops are out there on the internet. I drew them with love.

Writing is much the same. And if the love is there, others who share that love will find you.

[astraltrickster]

Sometimes I wonder what to do with the old copies of the shitty wizard books I have from, you know, the before times

Today I got the idea to dismantle them and turn them into a trans pride themed My Immortal diorama type of thing

[wow-an-unfunny-joke]

With the tmnt comp going on I’ve been forced back into my tmnt hyperfixation, this is my lead in to [poof] a link

This is an au/whatever I made a while back where Future Leo follows Casey Jr back in time as a ghost, with mystic wumbo jumbo (and events I haven’t gotten to in the fic yet) Mikey learns that oops he can see ghosts (kind of)

The fic itself is mainly (was mainly) a slice of life type fic, supposed to be a look into how Future Leo thinks and feels while also a look into the turtles’ recovery from the Kraang shit. I never made it too far into the fic but I might finally finish chapter [I forget chapter numbers], what do y’all think?

[genshxn]

kinda wonder how many people have this sideblog blocked lmao

[oh-cramity-its-amity]

its so weird to read some of my old fics (do NOT do it but i'm just being hypothetical rn) and reading it. like who even was this person?? i completely was in a haze back in 2020. i literally was posting 3 chapters a day. A DAY. what in the WORLD was that shit.

anyway i remembered some STUPID sappy shit and i didnt remember if i'd put it into a fic or not BUT I FOUND IT.

She and Hope had been dating in secret for months anyway, and any attempt to go talk to Ryan only filed her disposition of displeasure upon knowing that she couldn’t tell anyone, Molly especially, it destroyed herself mentally. They couldn’t really go anywhere near the school, always having to lie to everyone about having projects together when Molly wasn’t around them. It’d consisted with 9 PM - 2 AM intervals of being able to actually see each other. Hope would sneak through her small bedroom window with a portable record player and whatever she had gotten from the vintage record store downtown, and Amy would always fall asleep around eleven because of her internal clock. She would always wake up to find a single sticky note stuck on the edge of her desk whenever she woke up to her alarm the next morning. One of them, Amy still had tucked inside of her phone case, a heavily detailed human heart, with blue and red ink sketched onto a neon pink sticky note, there was a caption that headed the small paper reading the phrase over every now and again makes her almost melt every time. “You have my heart.”

yeah idk why the fuck but i thought of this fucking idea again today and i was like "omg did i ever put that heart note thing in a fic???" yeah you fucking did.

all that to say ME AND WHO???? imagine. thats so fucking.... RAHHHH.

[anonymous-gambito]

Lightening a character's skin color and erasing parts of their culture is considered whitewashing so that's what I'm gonna be considering all of those fanfics that make all the Fire Nation people out to be light skinned and erases other cultural inspirations to portray them as being Japan 2.0.

I mean, it's possible some people are concerned with like, portraying SEA folks, for instance, as The Oppressor; but having the Fire Nation be all people with light skin and the Earth Kingdom be all brown/darker skinned people seems more racist than progressive to me. As if it makes people uncomfortable to see brown folks play any role outside of being The Oppressed. Also, a lot of authors I've seen whitewashing the Fire Nation also go out of their way to woobify the hell out of them and portray them as being super sympathetic, all the while framing the (mostly made of folks with dark skin, according to them) Earth Kingdom and Water Tribes as mean and unreasonable for not being all sunshine and rainbows with colonizers; so I'm skeptical that this is about anything other than apologia towards imperialists, even if the people doing it are doing so subconsciously.

[manekinoodle]

maybe i should fucking draw something

[supercantaloupe]

i kinda think that any portrayal of don giovanni and leporello’s relationship is incomplete if it doesn’t acknowledge that there is both genuine friendship/affection between them AS WELL AS abuse and hatred. they contain fucked up multitudes

[152glasslippers]

They've announced neither Karen nor Foggy are expected to be back on the d+ shows, and I am DEVASTATED. Daredevil (and potentially the Punisher) without Karen or Foggy?! 😭

pretty much sums up my feelings on the matter

[eleanorfenyxwrites]

Sorry y'all, I had a super shit day yesterday and completely forgot about WIP Wednesday, but I'm only a little late this time! Here's the next bit from the 3zun Jianghu Shopping Center extra (that's Nieyao for now but will become 3zun later)

So long as Gym Guy stays on the other side of the (admittedly very small) space and minds his own business, Meng Yao can usually tune him out about halfway through the wash cycle, if his task is engrossing enough. This late on a Wednesday night they’re usually the only ones in the laundromat, though every other week one of the nurses from the hospital in town comes in off her back-to-back graveyard shifts to run all of her scrubs through the same sort of sanitizing wash Gym Guy uses for his stuff. She’s cute, Meng Yao has noticed, and she’s always nice if a little tired around the edges. He’d be lying if he said he hasn’t noticed that Gym Guy never bothers flirting with her even when she’d shown tentative interest in him at first.

He’s having a harder time ignoring Gym Guy’s presence tonight, but that’s got more to do with being unable to concentrate as well as he usually can. Gym Guy is still sitting in one of the too-small plastic chairs by the front windows pretending to pay attention to QVC playing on the small tv up in the corner, perfectly within the usual respectful distance he always keeps. Meng Yao’s just tired tonight, having interrupted his own sleep schedule, such as it is, to finally go and visit his father just on the other side of town earlier this afternoon, before his shift. The twinge in his ribs and his hip remind him that he should have probably decided to do it on one of his few days off, but then again he hadn’t exactly expected his father to have him pushed down the front steps without even letting him in the door of his house, either.

At least, he muses in relief, he hadn’t tried to go see him down at Golden Carp. Of course he knows now that his father probably wouldn’t have made such a spectacle out of him if he’d had so many witnesses around that aren’t his immediate family, but then again…a man willing to kick his own son down the stairs where anyone out walking their dog might have seen probably wouldn’t care who sees it anyway. (He supposes that if he had gone to Golden Carp at least there wouldn’t have been any stairs to send him toppling down, but hindsight’s 20/20 and all that.)

It’s just past 9 when the jangling of the phone ringing at the other end of the counter shakes Meng Yao out of his less-than-pleasant contemplation on his sorry lot in life. He winces as he stands from the stool to pick it up, the quiet clatter of the plastic handset against the base barely audible over the sloshing and chugging of Gym Guy’s wash cycle.

“Fitz’s 24-hour Coin-op Laundry,” Meng Yao answers through a hitching breath as his ribs - most likely fractured, he thinks - resettle. “How can I help you?”

Meng Yao has less than a second to brace himself and jerk the receiver away from his ear for the sake of his poor eardrum before the owner of the laundromat starts shouting loudly enough at him that he senses Gym Guy’s attention shifting from the TV to him. Great.

[vulpinesaint]

how are people finding my fic series from three full years ago. dkfjghs. who put me on a fic rec list be honest

[lovevalley45]

sometimes being in the WWDITS fandom as someone who doesn’t care abt ships being endgame is weird, everyone is always looking for signs abt nandor n guillermo becoming canon and i’ve just been conditioned to be like. hey listen the tension the subtext that’s good enough for me