#But like... Here's three dollars. I want bread. Ok here's bread
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So, this week's episode...
[Spoilers below cut]
Past Ink: Guys, it's fine. This isn't a serious episode, it would be too soon for another arc. It's just gonna be another silly Saturday.
Current Ink: ....
(the following is my live reaction:)
[*unholy screaming*] FOUR NOOOOOOOOOOOO
WOW WHAT A GREAT START TO THIS EPISODE, SCRATCH EVERYTHING THAT I SAID ABOUT THIS BEING A "NORMAL" EPISODE
NOPE I NEED TO PAUSE, I NEED TO TAKE A WALK BC I'M NOT GONNA GET OVER IT, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS COULD LEAD
they're not gonna do it in this episode BUT the fact that goop!4 is being acknowledged in every way possible, we might just have a sequel in our hands
NO NO NO CUT THE INTRO, I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED THE EPISODE YET AND YOU WANT ME TO MAKE A THEORY ON IT ALREADY? HOLD YOUR FUCKIN HORSES, I'LL GET THERE GEEZ
anyway, we have to press play...
I'm pretty sure someone already has done a pirate au (no I'm not over what I just watched) and anyway, artists: here's pirate SMG4
Four, you should've read the file name before downloading it [*shakes head*]
Wait, is this going to be a parody of computer buddies? That's actually pretty fun..... OH NO NO NO
Ah, so we are doing computer buddies
Actually, yeah, can we have Mario as president please
love how it says "no one even compares to mario. especially smg4 who sucks booty cheeks [or ass] and mario doesn't"
Observe as the SMG4 fandom gets terrified of the word "perfect" [*screams*]
MARIO MARIO NO NO NO HE DIDN'T SAVE
I felt that in my core omg
as a graphic designer, this hurts
apparently, there's a whole new dimension in our computers, Only in the SMG4 Universe [*cheesy thumbs up*]
We really are getting all the computer buddies, huh? I wonder if KinitoPET will appear
[*silver the hedgehog voice*] It's no use!
BRITISH SMG3
wow what a funny bit... WAIT HOLD UP WAIT A MINUTE, LOOK AT THE MEDIA BOX
the eyes....
w̷̹̓e̷̼̽ ̸̯́n̴̩͆e̵̝̓v̴̼͑ë̵̤r̴͓͛ ̷̭͝l̵̦̎e̴̞͗f̵͉̐ṯ̴͗
and the left eye too... oh god, the EYE OF RA— [*gets shot*]
honestly, Four, you improved your aim ever since Western Spaghetti (ik you also did for PV but that's not the point)
I knew they were gonna bring in buff Luigi again
I'M SCREAMING
THERE IS NO WAY THE TEAM JUST DROPPED THAT ON US, THIS CAN'T BE REAL
ok first off, the fact that Four has a folder labeled "Super SECRET Spicy Memes" is giving "totally homework" folder energy (and I don't want to even think more about that)
hey, Four did say that Three brings some spice into his life (yeah, "rosemary to my bread" and all that jazz)
SECOND, the fact he has an image of SMG3 with him saying "whats the matter smg4 kun?"
THEN the "I know what you are" audio clip...
Four, buddy, you're down bad aren't you?
like "woah smg4's bisexual, I didn't know that", the closet is out of GLASS so we been knew but I DID NOT expect this
having Three be a tsundere is one thing, but FOUR....
🫵🏳️🌈⁉️
"they're dating behind the scenes" at this point, yeah
we have to keep going... [*secretly puts this clip on the fridge*]
I hate this so much /silly
[*chaos ensues*] [*sips my coffee*] just another tuesday saturday
GOTTA GO FAST GOTTA GO FAST— [*gets tazed*] i can never catch a break c'mon man
oh hey Swag!
four dollars is four dollars, you got yourself a deal
ok, I'm gonna need everyone to see Four's cute little hops here:
look at him go, my silly little goober :) oh, now you have? then let's keep going
holy shit, this fight scene is so well animated!!! LET'S GOOOO
never thought I'd see the day of seeing biblically accurate bonzi in an SMG4 episode and yet here we are.
SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP
THIS IS THE MOST BEAUTIFUL THING I'VE SEEN IN MY LIFE, I'M ASCENDING
"...but they hugged before" NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
A normal hug, where two people cross each other and are unable to see the other's face since it's over their shoulder, is just as it is: a normal hug. It can be seen as platonic and/or romantic.
THIS is a lot more intimate. 3 and 4's heads touch while they hold each other by the hand. This type of hug is reserved more for romantic partners when the situation leads them to a devasting end, where they face each other to look at and remember what their partner looked like, one last time before they die.
In this case, it makes sense as the computer is collapsing within itself.
"It's not actually them tho." Yes, they're digital copies of 3 and 4 but that's the thing: they're COPIES, acting on what 3 and 4 would actually do
SMG34 shippers, we are eating GOOD today yum yum
but then, that begs the question: would there be a moment where 3 and 4 would reveal their feelings for each other at the worst possible time?
(you guys are not going to be ready for my next episode concepts) What, who said that?
uh anyway them 💙💜 gotta put it on the fridge
I feel for you, Four, but I have a horrible feeling about this
...
Foreshadowing is a literary device—
no seriously, I feel like this could be part of a future arc where a past villain would ruin everything Four has and would offer up a deal when Four would be the most desperate. There's always a catch. Hmm, why does that seem familiar...?
Your life's work or your friends, it's your call, SMG4
:)
HELL YEAH FOUR, THROW IT AWAY (omg just like how he chose Three over the USB, I'm crying dude)
also congrats to Ourstor08954957 for the lovely art in the end credits 🎉 such cute doodles ❤️
.・-: ✧ :--: ✧ :-・.
Oh boy, what an episode. I feel like I'm in another plane of existence right now. Everything was absolutely incredible, great job Team!!
Everyone, say THANK YOU to whoever put the SMG34 crumbs in there, we shall treasure it for the rest of our lives. I'm gonna put those moments on my fridge. OH I would love to see the artists draw the SMG34 hug or pirate Four!
Love the fighting scene right by the end and the little details they have added in there. I guess it's "Torture Ink with the Idea that Goop!4 May Happen" day but hey, I'm so normal about it (no I'm not). I've been a bit stressed since finals are coming up so I'm thankful for anything this episode for me.
(If anyone is curious, the WOTFI website is still up and yes, I am logging its status just in case.)
I'm sure everyone is going crazy over this...
"They gay fr :3" [BenJoJoGV, Twitter]
🧍
BEN YOU CAN'T JUST SAY THESE THINGS—
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Desert Duo treats because it's a week until Christmas
Grian: I’m going to get so much done today. Scar: I’ll hold you to that. *8 hours later* Scar: So how much did you get done? Grian: One thing. Scar: Well, that’s one more than usual.
Scar: So my therapist was talking to me and she said that I really just need to break down my walls and let people in. Scar: So I’ve decided to break the fourth wall. Scar: *looks at camera* Hi there. I use humor as a coping mechanism.
Scar: Hey, are you alright with swearing? Asking for a friend. Grian: Yeah? Scar: Bitch.
Grian: *Gives a bouquet to Scar* Scar: You know I'm allergic. Grian: That's the point.
Grian: Is this mistletoe? Scar: Uh, no, no, that is basil. Grian: Too bad cause if it was mistletoe I was gonna kiss you. Scar: Yeah, no, it’s still basil.
Grian: What have I done wrong?! Scar: Everything. For your entire life.
Scar: If it’s any consolation, they got me here on a very misleading text message. Grian: Technically, you are about to be screwed in the biology room.
Scar: What is wrong with you? Grian: Many, many things… Grian: And most of them are your fucking fault.
Scar: Live fast, die young, leave behind a pretty corpse! That’s what I always say! Grian: You should say something else.
Grian: My back hurts. Scar, walking into the room: Take the spine out.
Scar: Everything will be ok. You can not stop it. Scar: Everything will be fine. You have no choice. Grian: What the fuck kind of pep talk is that? Scar: Ominous positivity.
Grian: Scar, what did you just do!? Scar: I took your advice. I stopped running from the problem and I tackled it head on. Grian: I meant try emotional honesty, not murder!!
Scar: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this? Grian: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.
Scar: Detective! The man belonged to some kind of cult that worshipped a divine forest creature with antlers and that’s how he met his end. Grian: Dear God! Scar: Yeah! Exactly!
Grian: You've got to act tough, Scar! Show 'em you can't be pushed around! Show 'em they can't mess with you! Scar: Right. Yes. Tough. Got it. Scar, standing up on their stool and slamming their hands down on the bar: I'LL TAKE A CHOCOLATE MILK.
Grian: Fight me! Scar: gets on one knee and pulls out a ring Scar: Fight me for the rest of our lives.
Grian: Don’t preach to me about romance, Scar. I had a three-way in a hot-air balloon.
Scar: What’s sexting? Grian: I'm not having this conversation with you.
Grian: If I ever had a child, I imagine they would be a lot like you. Scar: Aww, thanks— Grian: Which is probably why I’ve never reproduced.
Scar: What’s your greatest weakness? Grian: Interpreting the semantics of a question, but ignoring the pragmatics. Scar: Could you give an example? Grian: Yes, I could.
Scar: Okay, but what if we went to dinner not as friends this time? Grian: AS ENEMIES?! Scar:
Scar: I desire moisture. Grian: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.
Scar: Babe, you're so funny! Grian: We have 1492 days until your tragic premature death. You will break my trust three times before that happens, but I forgive you. Scar: Awwww, that's sweet of you!
Grian: I didn’t want to do it, no one else wanted to do it, so I made Scar do it!
Scar: You got a date yet Grian? Grian: No… Scar: Well you do now! Get your ass up and hold my hand!
Grian: Dammit, you ruin everything! Scar: You're welcome.
Scar: They called me the B-word. Grian: Motherfucker doesn’t start with ‘b’.
Scar, talking about Grian: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH HIM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? HE DID. HE KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO.
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2008 G6 GXP Quick Tour/Overview
- This is actually Dave and he does a good job and it's tough job it's a hard job to do then the max say it's for us too didn't workout for them last time yet they wanna go ahead with it and we're all for it it's a coupe it's nice he doesn't need a 4 door it cost too much in gas and this thing can move out the top speed is pretty fast with AV6 too it still goes A180 miles an hour it's too fast and we'd have a limiter. They did sell them with limiters on them. We know which one it is it is not this one and there is a black one. George Washington starts out with a black horse. One might be the Pontiac and that one is our sons as well and they trade off the color but not the Horse. There's other things going on but this is very important and he looked up the price and he found prices from 3500 to around$12,000. It really matters on the condition and the mileage this one he says he had 25,000 miles it's in great shape but he modified it so it's probably about $10,000 that's what happens he touched the brake calipers and structural things except he could probably get 15 to 20 thousand dollars. But that's in certain neighborhoods in areas this thing really moves out he's got new tires and rims and he's done something to the motor and it's not major and a little to the exhaust and it goes over 200. And he said I don't think I've been that fast with it but he has. These things really move I mean this car is fast for a regular coupe the Salica was going 140 and that was very fast but this in the supra can go 190 this is faster than that and it's AV 6 it does have AV8 version no but but it's fast enough. We are looking for approval for the car and we hear Jack Black and they're trying to make it they wanted to design it and they put some time into it not much and BG has started carving no he says it's an artist thing and he wants to wait and see if the art is gonna compel him to do it. And there are certain things that he does note and he says I've seen Jack Sparrow think three times and since we talked about the car and he says 0 and one of them You're a drink you're drinking some girls beer in your beer can and it's the same kind of beer. Well those are signs. It's the females beer and I'm gonna get to it he says and the other one was obscure it was like Kylo Ren who looked like Jack Sparrow but put the Kylo Ren mask on and he says ohh that's weird and he gets that kind of stuff. It might be his guys telling him. One of them looked like Tommy F. Says that's true the other one was a trumpster so he's saying ohh OK and there's more signs that have been happening but they wanna try and get the design but they need that as a backup but if this went forward it would cover up getting the design and it would cover up them trying for it. And he's interested so he's going to go ahead and try and make the wooden one and keep it kind of private and it's going forwards. We have more to announce in a moment.
Thor Freya
Olympus
I can't live with a sewer who says he'll drain anyways but it's still a pain cause it's gonna ruin the septic I probably should try and dig it out
stan
Olympus
I might go dig it out from the town this is such a pain ohh really where's the knucklehead bread brad and it wasn't Brad it was Dave with the helmet on
mac daddy
I might just do that it's such a pain in the **** it doesn't require much work it just dig it out and then you put sod down but we put the same sod I can scrape it out one scrape one scoop and it put the sod back and it's done
dave
That would be nice why don't you put your helmet on.
turmp
I might do that
dan
I have no spare money to buy a car and I have no reason to and I have no gas money if I had a job i'd have it for a day 'cause you guys are just raring to go so here I sit.
Zues Hera
We need the code now and he needs a way to do it and he doesn't have it and you're gonna drive him around and spend gas and we have to do that nobody wants to fund our mission'cause we wanna go W and beat each other to death first perioddan
So you know the planbja
I was hoping that this might work we need to do this too though at the same time we're screwing each other.
dave
We're gonna try and do thatbja
And why don't you try for Christ's sakemac daddy
Yeah we see ittrump
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I'm ngl this is like. Dream life if I'm being honest.
#They make commissions sound so easy and casual.... I mean not the art itself bc the bread is beautifully drawn.#But like... Here's three dollars. I want bread. Ok here's bread#I would literally fucking die for things to be this simple. I don't want the shame and worrying if it's good enough...#pogaduchy
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Rio x reader
Flashabcks you slowly waking up after a hectic night of love and passion
You look next you and see your husband Rio looking at you
You morning amore
Rio morning mi Vida
You can we go back to sleep for a little longer
Rio sure sweetie
You lay on his chest and you too cuddle for a little longer
Marcus comes into your room
Rio hi good morning
Marus morning daddy can we make pancakes this morning
You yes we can
Marcus mommy your up
You yes honey
You do you want mnms pancakes
Marcus yesss
You alright meet me downstairs
Marcus ok mama
You put on your robe and your slippers
Rio can I have pancakes too mama
You yes of course papi
You both head downstairs
You marcus can you get two eggs please
Marcus sure mama
You three all makes breakfast and Rio places his thr batter on the stove
You looking good
Rio not as good as you
Marcus eww
You too laugh
Rio here's your pancakes
You three eat breakfast and then it time for marus soccers game
You drive to the park where's the game held and Rio takes another car because of his job
You You ready to kick some soccer butt
Marcus yeah mama
You I be right here and dad should he here soon
Marcus yay mama
Mick shows up to watch his nephew play
Mick hi
You hi how's business going
Mick good we kind need your help he sent me before he came
You oh alright
You Marcus really misses him
Mick yeah
Mick uhm do you think we could about 500000 dollars
You of course mick
Mick ty again
You it's all good I can drop off it at the restaurant later
Mick that's perfect
You so who stole
Mick oh umm
You mick
Mick these surban woman's
You are they here right now
Mick maybe
You is those woman over there
Mick yeah
You oh wow
Mick yeah
You well I be nice it's my son's game
Mick ty
You watch Marcus game and his team wins
Marcus mom
You yes papa
Marus do you know where dad is
Rio hey pup
Marus daddy!!!!!
Marcus your here
Rio yes I am
Marcus our team won
Rio that's awesome bud sorry I'm late
Ps this man never said sorry
Marcus it's ok I'm glad your here now
You marus can get in the car please
Marcus sure mama
Beth Boland who you learned about today comes over
You your a real see you next Tuesday for coming over here
Rio mama not now
You silencio por favor
Rio immediately shuts up because he know he in trouble
You go in the car with your son
Rio OK ma
You have a lot of nerve being here
Beth B I don't even know who you are
You oh let me tell you I've the person that married that man in the car . That taking car of out son.
Beth B I didn't knew this I'm sorry
You You should of apologized person who shot my husband three times
Ps your saying husband so she thinks you too are still married
You get the hell out of.my site
Mick vamos now
You walk over the car
You hey bud what would like for dinner
Marcus your pasta and garlic bread
You sounds good your uncle is going to drive you home
Marcus ok mama good luck dad
Rio ty
You head into his g wagon
You what wrre you thinking
Rio I wasn't I'm sorry
You we can't keep her around the same evioment as my son
Rio mama
You no she shot you and you expect us to be best friends
Rio no I didn't say that now
Rio mama look I'm sorry
You I have to loan you money again we can't get this up yo comprendo
Rio si mama
You ty now let's get home
Rio ok he puts his hand on your thigh to try to relieve some of the tension in the car
Surprisly you let him because you don't want to go the bed angry
You get home and making his favorite dinner and you give Rio his money secretly
Rio ty ma
You uh huh
Rio mama's don't be mad
You I'm not I'm fine
Rio uh huh
You hug him relaxing each other
You I'm going to shower and get him to bed
Marcus I'm ready for bed and his dad is dealing here
Rio yeah
Marcus yay
You both get in the shower
It's mostly love and passion. You you are frustrated so your kissing to let out the tension
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Lorien Legacies Characters as Things My Family and I Have Said (Part Three)
John: Am I cute
Six: Whatever makes you happy
--
Marina: Where’s my perfume?
Eight: I drank it
--
Nine: *squeezes bread* I just really felt like doing that
Five: I feel like doing that to you
--
Eight: Use your bread you fucking heathen
--
Five, tucking Maggie and Ella into bed: Night night c*nts
Maggie and Ella, in unison: REEEE
--
John: *attempts to do something but fails*
Nine: Bitch thought
John: Shut up
Six: Bitch thought
Five: Bitch thought
One: Bitch thought
Eight: Bitch thought
Adam: Bitch thought
John: I hate you guys so fucking much
--
Eight: Is eating this much cheese even healthy???
--
John: Raise your hand if you love dogs
Adam: I would but I’m eating goldfish
--
Five, on an Omegle video chat with a knocked-out Sam and Ella: They're dead
Nine, on the other end of the call: Tell them to get up
--
Six: Men are dumb. Fuck men. You know, what? To all the ladies in the chat, here's some advice.
Six: Become a lesbian
Six: Adopt a cat
Six: Plant a garden
Six: Live in a forest
Six: Destroy the patriarchy
Six: Travel the world
Six: Fuck shit up
Six: And do it with a smile and a piña colada *bites chip*
--
Marina: I was gonna wear a cute pink flower crown with my outfit but then I thought fuck that, I'm going low-key cottagecore, not Ohioan frolicker or Idahoan horse girl
--
Adam: Dude, are you high?
Sam: What? No
Sam, suddenly remembering he rode passenger while Nile smoked weed on their way home and has gotten high off second-hand smoking weed before: OH SHI-
--
Five: Why am I even up at four in the morning with chips and Mountain Dew???
Marina: I mean, it could be from insomnia rooting from your depressio-
Five: Depression? BITCH PLEASE that shit is so 2019
--
Adam's teacher: I know it's Monday, but if it's any comfort, today is the first day of the last week of April!
Adam: What the FUCK did you just say to me-
--
Eight, mimicking an old man: gEt OfF mY lAwN
Sam: *puts face in bowl and laughs*
--
Nine, knocking on the door: Let me innnnn
John, sitting against the door so Nine doesn't come in: No, I'm still mad at you
Nine: Ok ok I'm sorry, I'll pay you fifty dollars
--
Five, trying to be compassionate with Nine: Remember when we used to match hairstyles, you fuck?
--
Literally anyone: *laughs*
Eight: Giggles
--
Hannu: No sad, just ball
--
Six: fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me square up square up square up sqUARE UP SQUARE U-
--
One: Can I use your headphones?
Adam: Sorry, I'm using the-
One: Shut up you dumb fuck
--
Eight, talking to himself in the mirror: Oh my god look at you in your big, baggy flannel you look sO CUTE you're adorable don't let anyone tell you differently, including you you dumb fucking insecure little bitch
--
Daniela: What would happen if a woman took penis enlargement pills?
Adam: Hey no offense but what the fuck is wrong with you?
--
John: What even goes on in your mind?
Nine: Tarot cards, money, Cotton Eye Joe on loop, applesauce, lighting a house on fire, jumping out a second-story house to see if my ankle is durable or not...
John:...
Nine: But mostly Cotton Eye Joe on loop
--
Five: Some people identify as she/her. Some people identify as he/him. Some people identify as they/them. I identifty as a fucking disappointment.
--
Marina: Hey, can I ask you a question?
Eight, naked in a bubble-filled bathtub with lit candles, a wine glass full of apple juice, and IceJJFish playing: Do I look like someone with the fucking time?
--
John: Hey, are you gay?
Adam, sitting on the ground blasting Ariana Grande with an iced almond milk latte and wearing a baggy flannel shirt: BITCH-
--
Six: *opens her online-shopping package*
Marina: Uh, those are going to make you look a little emo, aren't they?
Six, putting on her thick chain choker and leather gloves: that's the poINT-
--
Sam: *dances like a crab to the Crab Rave* Crabby Rave make pain go away
--
One: 'oH i DoNt HaVe PrOnOuNs'- what the fuck are you then, a toaster?
--
Random celebrity: Wow, fangirls are so sweet and dedicated, they really should get paid for all the promotions and hard work they do!
Six: Ok pay me then
--
Maggie, crying: All I wanted was some fucking chicky nuggies
--
Sam, walking up to Nine in public: Hey bestie-
Nine: I don't know you
Sam: Bitch-
--
Ella: I'm gonna send a celebrity a meme everyday until they reply to me
Marina: Why?
Ella: Why the fuck not?
--
Five: Yeah, I'm depressed *laughs*
John: Why'd you laugh?
Five: It's a coping mechanism
--
Maggie: I don't want a boyfriend or a girlfriend or a partner I wants the three D's
Sarah, horrified: The WHAT
Maggie: Dogs, donuts, and diamonds
--
Hannu: So there's this philosophy theory-
One: I will fucking drown you
--
Six: If you are male and you have a flat ass, don't speak to me. I need guy friends who match my level of THICKNESS
--
One: Oh my god she's so cute
Adam: She has a girlfriend
One: Sharing is caring
--
Five: If ONE MORE BITCHASS WHORE comments on my clothes and shits about how feminine I dress I swear I will be gOING TO JAIL
Five: JUST SAY YOU ARE JEALOUS YOU CAN'T WORK BOTH AND LEAVE BITCH
--
Nine: So I have this problem where I hate myself but I still think I'm better than everyone else
John:...
Nine: Like I'm trash but I'm QUALITY trash, I'm trash from the garbage bags of Louis Vuitton, I'm recyclable, reusable trash, I'm the trash no one wants to throw away
John: Um...
Nine: If Gucci made a limited-edition, 24-karat gold garbage bag, I'd be that garbage bag
--
Maggie, holding a nerf gun to Adam's head: Gimme all your fucking money
--
Sam: I don't know, I've just been feeling a little down lately
Six: No
Sam: What?
Six: That's not allowed
Sam: Wha-
Six: *smacks Sam in the face with a pillow*
--
Maggie: BESTIE. YOU ARE A BAD BITCH. DON'T LET ANYONE TELL YOU DIFFERENTLY. WORK IT QUEEN
The pigeon on the sidewalk:
#lorien legacies#garde#mogadorians#cepans#i am number four#back at it again with the lorien legacies content#i love this series#my family is chaotic#one#maggie hoyle#two#hannu#three#four#john smith#five#cody#six#maren elizabeth#seven#marina#eight#naveen#nine#stanley worthington#ten#ella#adamus sutekh#adam sutekh#sarah hart
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Pickpocket (Avengers x Child!Reader)
Description: You have been living on the streets for years, and over these years, you have become incredibly good at pickpocketing. Unfortunately for you, though, you picked the wrong target one too many times.
Part 2 if you guys want it, just let me know!
Chin up, shoulders back, even steps. My heart is calm, my breaths slow and measured, and every muscle in my body is relaxed. In other words, every last inch of me screams that I am a confident, kind young lady without a care in the world.
No matter what anybody says, looks really are everything. Every time you meet someone new or even just pass by them on the street, your mind makes a snap judgement about them. Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying that everyone you meet is prejudiced or anything of the sort. Those snap judgements can easily be changed with an open-minded person, sometimes without even needing a whole conversation. Still, that doesn’t change the fact that when you see a well-groomed person in a suit, your mind automatically thinks they are successful, and when you see someone coming at you with a hoodie covering their face and their hands in their pockets, you automatically tense up. None of that is your fault, and actually it’s probably a good thing that you would be wary of people who are acting rather suspicious. Really, the only issue with these immediate ideas of every person you see is the fact that it makes people like me -- people who understand how these momentary impressions work -- able to take advantage of them.
It didn’t take long to realize I had a talent for it. I already looked the part, -- a helpless, adorable little girl -- I had a surprising knack for staying calm under pressure, and as much as I hated the old bitch, my caretaker had given me all the tools I needed. She was a stickler for proper manners, so I learned how to speak, sit, and walk like a “proper young lady.” Plus, her insane rules about tiny meal portions and too-early curfews taught me to be light on my feet as I often sneaked downstairs to grab a roll of bread at night. Yes, I had everything I needed. The only real hurdle was actually deciding to do it. I never really wanted to be a bad person. But the world is a heartless place, the city even more so, and by the end of my first week, I knew what I had to do if I was ever going to survive.
So, I started working -- oh, and by the way, no matter what you think, it is still a job. I put my time and effort into a certain task, and I obtain money because of it. I don’t know about you, but that certainly sounds like a job to me. And it was easier than I thought it would be. Within about a day, I realized that people saw me as sweet, innocent, and harmless -- no, more than that, they wanted to see me as harmless. Because if I wasn’t harmless, then that meant their world was even more screwed up than they thought. I learned quick, and by the end of the year, I had perfected my technique. It was simple: avoid all conversation if possible, and if absolutely necessary, smile and point out the farthest adult man within reason as my dad before weaving through the small gaps in the crowd, preferably around taller people, so they couldn’t see or follow me. I only got caught once or twice, but I’m grateful that I did. It forced me to learn perspective, that I needed to know more than just how to talk well. So, I learned how to run through a city. And now, I’m practically unstoppable.
As I take my even, not-too-fast-but-not-too-slow stroll down the sidewalk, a small, ambiguous smile decorating my lips, I can see it in each person’s eyes as they walk past that I have completely embodied my character. My arms swung with a practiced nonchalance as my eyes flickered from one person to the next, each time going through a mental list as I weighed the chances I had of succeeding on them versus how likely they were to catch on and calculated the amount of time that both of these events would likely take to happen. Finally, after a few minutes of this practice, one of them caught my eye.
He was larger, more muscular. Guys like him were a gamble. Often, a man of his appearance simply cared a bit too much about his appearance. Still, every now and then, they look like that because they been trained, and while past training usually meant they had no practice running in a city, it also meant that he would be much more jumpy and alert to his surroundings. However, his deep, loose pockets with the corner of his wallet just barely sticking out and the thoughtful gaze as he surveyed the buildings tipped the scales further and further in my favor. The wonder in his eyes just screamed tourist.
I gazed forward with an absentminded look in my eye that I’d spent months perfecting in the mirror while keeping him clearly in my periphery before bumping into him. As I hit him, two of my fingers simultaneously dipped into his pocket, where my knee bumped against his leg to jolt his wallet up and out. The moment the warm leather was in my grasp, I forced myself to fall backwards. Before I could hit the ground, though, I felt one of those strong, muscular arms had wrapped itself around my waist and was helping me back up.
My jaw clenched for half a second. This wasn’t good. His reflexes were too quick to have just worked out at some random gym, which meant my hunch was right: he had been trained. And that meant that I needed to get out of there fast. I wouldn’t be able to slip the wallet back in his pocket without bumping into him again, and that would only make me look even more suspicious, so I quickly emptied it of all of the cash behind his back and slipped the bills into my sleeve before tossing the piece of leather on the ground a few feet away.
“Are you alright?” he asked, concern evident in his eyes, and immediately I decided on my personality for the day -- bright and bubbly but proper. Gently, he released his arm from its position on my waist once he knew I had regained my footing.
“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry,” I quickly apologized, my left hand shooting up to cover my mouth in fake shock while my right hand carefully dropped the money in one of my own pockets, all the while watching every last one of his movements for any sign of suspicion. “It was all my fault. I wasn’t paying attention where I was going.”
“It’s ok, really.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I wasn’t really looking where I was going either, so it was partially my fault, too.”
“Well, thank you for catching me, sir, but I really have to go,” I smiled at him apologetically. “I’m supposed to meet back up with my dad in about five minutes.”
“Oh, no worries,” he responded kindly before sneaking a glance at my old, slightly ripped clothes, the concern still dancing in his eyes. “You’re sure you’re alright, though?”
“Absolutely!” I dismissed. “Thank you again!”
“Um, yeah, no problem.” We both started to walk away.
I waited patiently as I listened to his retreating steps. 1... 2... 3... 4... and then-- “Hey, mister!” I called, bending down and grabbing the piece of leather from where I had tossed it earlier. “I think you might’ve dropped your wallet!”
The man turned back, shocked, before jogging back towards me. “I didn’t even notice,” he mumbled to himself. “Hey, thanks, kid.”
“My pleasure!” I chirped. “Now, sorry, but I really have to get going. See you around, sir!” I quickly jogged off, allowing myself to get lost in the crowd before he could even have a minute to fully understand what happened.
-- 3rd Person POV --
“I told you guys the world wasn’t such a bad place!” Steve called as he entered the living room of Stark Tower. The rest of the Avengers looked up in surprise. They had been having this argument for the past three days, with Steve insisting that there were still people who put others first living in New York while the entire rest of the team tried to convince him otherwise.
“Alright, show your work,” Tony leaned back against the wall, watching the captain with curiosity.
“I met a kid today who couldn’t have been older than 16. I was trying to remember what the city looked like before I went in the ice, and I accidentally bumped into her. She then spent the next few minutes constantly apologizing and saying it was all her fault. And the best part is, after we’d already walked away, she found and returned my wallet. I hadn’t even realized I had dropped it!” The 96-year-old man finished with a triumphant grin, leaving the rest of the team silent for a moment. That is, until Tony busted out laughing. Steve frowned. “...What?”
“Steve, honey, check inside of your wallet,” Natasha sighed as she turned back to the tv to watch whatever was on.
Steve frowned, reached into his pocket, and pulled out his wallet. “I don’t understand; why do you want me to....” He trailed off as he stared at the now empty pocket that only just earlier that day held around 65 dollars in cash. “She... but how did she...”
Tony slapped a heavy hand on Steve’s shoulder, wiping away a tear from the corner of his eye. “She scammed you, bro. And you fell for it hook, line, and sinker,” he grinned before walking back to his room, still chuckling softly to himself at his friend’s misfortune.
------- Time Skip -------
About two weeks had passed since that godsend of a man and I crossed paths. I can’t remember the last time I had managed to lift 65 dollars off anyone. That kind of cash can last someone like me a really long time. But sadly, all good things must come to an end, and after buying myself the first decent meal I’d had in weeks plus a ton of canned foods and non-perishables that I dropped off at the nearest homeless shelter, that good thing ended ended all too quickly. Which meant it was time I went back to work.
I stepped into the public library, that same ambiguous smile painted ever so gently across my face. There weren’t a whole lot of people here and there were almost never any big scores, but working here was a lot less guess-work, and more often than not, the target was too engrossed in their book to even notice what I was doing, so there was also much less risk of being caught.
After a quick scan of the quiet room, my eyes landed on the man sitting at one of the long tables, his bag haphazardly laying next to him on the table. It should be easy enough to grab something from in there, and he seemed invested enough to have his guard down. He should make for a good target.
I walked into the science section and grabbed a few scientific papers, most of which were generally about to nuclear physics, before walking back to his table and sitting down right across from him. Scientific papers are the best way to make sure no one has the confidence to talk to you. I opened the paper that I had read a hundred times and started pretending to read it once more, my left hand resting on my cheek as my right hand slowly made its way towards the bag.
“Excuse me.” I glanced up, pausing my movement towards his back but still being careful not to react too quickly and retract my hand. I didn’t want to draw his attention to what I was doing, and if at all possible, I would still like to come out of this with something to show for it. As I met the glasses-clad, clearly intelligent eyes of the man in front of me, it was easy to figure out what my personality should be -- shy, smart, and above all else, kind. “Is that Schippers’s work?”
I blinked in surprise and allowed a soft smile to spread across my lips. “You know Stefan Schippers?”
“Yeah, his work in antimatter is amazing,” he grinned fully now, his eyes lighting up and making him almost look like a completely different person. “Particularly regarding his research in collisions.”
I grinned back, taking note of how his eyes were now trained on mine, instead of glancing around like before. Maybe I should’ve started a conversation before -- clearly it was a good distraction for him. Well, either way, it’s going to be easier to lift something off of him now, so I guess I shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth. “I completely agree. His work is amazing,” I giggled softly, glancing down at the table before looking back up at him, a slight red hue now painting the apples of my cheeks as my hand slipped inside of his bag.
“I was honestly surprised to see you reading that paper, actually,” he chuckled nervously. “I’ve read it at least 20 times, but I figured I was the only one.” I laughed lightly, slipping what felt like a wallet out of the bag and tucking it under my arm.
“Trust me, I’ve read this so many times, I’m afraid the library is going to have to replace it because I’ve worn it out so much. You know, if you’re interested in Schippers, you should read some of Dr. Banner’s papers,” I laid my left hand on his arm gently while my right arm swung back over to me, pushing the wallet into my lap. “As much as I love Schippers, Dr. Banner’s work is unparalleled.”
The man chuckled nervously again, ducking his head a bit. “You really think so, huh? How old are you anyways? I don’t see a whole lot of kids brushing up on nuclear physics.”
“I’m older than I look,” I casually brushed off the question. I was not about to give up any personal information, fellow science geek or not. “Oh, by the way, do you have the time?”
The man glanced at his watch. “About 6:00.”
My eyes widened in shock. “You’re kidding, it got that late?! My dad’s gonna kill me!” I gasped and quickly stood up, catching the wallet in my left hand and slipping it into my pocket. “It was really nice meeting you, sir, but I have to go home. I really liked talking to you, though! I hope we can meet again!” I hurriedly gathered the papers and rushed off, waving with a broad smile.
“Oh, uh nice meeting you... too...” he tried to respond, but she was already well out of sight.
-- 3rd Person POV --
“What the hell?” Bruce mumbled, digging through his bag. The pizza had just arrived, and he needed to pay his share.
“What’s wrong?” Natasha glanced at him, an eyebrow raised.
“I could’ve sworn I put my wallet in here, but now I can’t find it,” he frowned, continuing to search every last nook and cranny of the old bag.
“Don’t worry about it, buddy, I can cover you if you’re short,” Tony shrugged.
“That’s not the issue,” Bruce frowned, finally giving up and tossing his bag to the side in frustration. “That had my credit card, my driver’s license, and my ID for Stark Tower. If it’s lost somewhere, it could be a real problem.”
“When was the last time you remember having it?” Clint mumbled through a full mouth of the piece of pizza that he’d already shoved in his face. Natasha rolled her eyes and wiped off the bit of spit he’d gotten on her in disgust.
“I was at the library. I used my library card to check out some books,” he responded confidently.
“Again?” Clint asked, once again through a mouthful of cheese and marinara sauce. “What, do you live there or something?”
“Ok, now walk us through exactly what happened after you checked out those books,” Natasha suggested, doing her best to ignore her best friend.
Bruce sighed and nodded, sitting down. “I checked out my books, then walked over to one of the tables to start reading. Then I talked to that teenager for a little while about some of Schippers’s theories before she ran off--”
“You talked to a teenager about Schippers? And she actually understood?” Tony asked, lifting a brow in surprise.
“Yeah, she even recommended I read Dr. Banner’s work in the same field,” Bruce chuckled. “I thought it better not to tell her who I was, but according to her, Banner’s work is ‘unparalleled’.”
“Damn, the kid knows her stuff,” Tony nodded, impressed. “Did she say anything about--”
“Boys,” Natasha cut in. “The wallet.”
“Ah, right,” Bruce mumbled apologetically. “Anyways, after she ran off, I kept reading for a few minutes before leaving, too. Then I came back to the tower and got up here just in time to decide on ordering pizza with you guys.”
“Did you use the subway?” Natasha asked.
Bruce shook his head. “No. I figured since it was such a nice day out, I would just walk home.”
“How did you enter the building?”
“I ran into Steve downstairs, and we came in together.”
Steve, who had been silent up until this point, finally spoke up. “This teenager... Was she about 16? With (H/C) hair?”
“What, you think it’s the same girl who totally scammed you the other--” Tony started, getting ready to take part in his favorite pastime of making fun of Steve.
“Actually, yeah, she was,” Bruce answered, his eyes wide in realization.
Before anyone could say anything, Tony’s incredibly loud laughter filled the room. “Holy shit, you guys both got scammed by the same teenager! How does that even happen?!” He wheezed, laughing so hard he could hardly breath.
“Hey she seemed like a nice girl!” Bruce defended. “How was I supposed to know she was robbing me?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be a genius or something?” Tony asked, tears streaming down his face now. Bruce opened his mouth, trying to come up with something but came up blank. A heavy hand landing on his shoulder knocked him out of his stupor.
“Just let it happen,” Steve sighed, his eyes cast down as he shook his head in sympathy.
------- Time Skip -------
It had been a week since I had spoken to that science nerd in the library, and I was still pissed. Seriously, what kind of grown man only carries around 4 dollars and 36 cents? Well, apparently, that weirdo did. I had thrown out all the cards and IDs to at least sell the what looked to be leather wallet to a pawn shop, but apparently the thing wasn’t even leather! All of that time, wasted for a measly 12 bucks. I’ll say it again: I was pissed.
So, now I was back out working again, because the money I’d made was barely enough to buy a few snacks that I had to portion out over the course of the past week.
As I walked down the sidewalk, still grumbling softly to myself about what had happened, I saw him.
Tony freaking Stark.
I grinned. Maybe my luck was getting better after all. I mean, a billionaire who’s famous for having, shall we say, questionable morals? After all, it’s not exactly nice to sleep with as many women as humanly possible before tossing them away like they’re nothing. I mean, sure there’s the whole iron man thing, but he’s still kind of a dick, let’s be honest. And while I usually tried to refrain from taking anything major in case my target doesn’t have a whole lot of money or the object is sentimental, billionaire jerks are fair game. And the best part was, I didn’t even have to read him to know the part I was going to play. Tony Stark would only ever fall for one personality: sarcastic, quick-witted, and strong.
His head was down, buried in his phone, so I casually walked towards him, picking up an old cup of coffee from one of a nearby cafe’s outdoor tables, before smacking into him head-first, spilling the coffee everywhere.
“What the hell?!”
“Oh my god!” We both yelled at the same time.
“Oh c’mon, kid, this is silk!” Tony continued to shout, staring down at the coffee covering his chest.
“Hey, I’m not the one with my head buried in my phone while walking through one of the busiest cities in the world,” I snapped back. “And you’re not the only one whose clothes got ruined. This is cashmere!” I lied through my teeth. It was a ratty old sweater that I’d bought for about 3 dollars at a thrift store.
Stark scoffed. “Do you have any idea who I am?”
“Yeah, you’re Tony Stark. That doesn’t change the fact that my parents are gonna be pissed about me ruining a hundred dollar sweater,” I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms defiantly.
That was when he finally glanced at me and my coffee-stained outfit. Stark sighed and put his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “Alright, I’m sorry.” Wait, what? Since when does the great Tony Stark ever apologize for anything? “I’ll pay for the dry-cleaning, ok? Just give me your parents’ numbers.”
Shit, that’s not how this is supposed to go. Ok, new strategy. A sassy front but a kind interior.
I sighed and shook my head. “No, it’s not entirely your fault. I guess I could’ve tried to avoid you better. Anyways, you got a pen and paper?”
Stark nodded slightly and reached into his inner pocket, pulling out a tiny pad and a fancy looking pen. I quickly jotted down the phone number and handed it back to him. Shoot, he looked like he was about to walk away. I had to act quick or lose my chance. Time to add one more very important characteristic to my identity: pitiable. “Hey, I really am sorry. I kind of overreacted. It wasn’t cool. I guess I just got a little nervous. My dad likes things to be clean, and he can get pretty mad when I don’t follow that rule...” I trailed off a bit, glancing down at my feet. I shook my head quickly and met the billionaire’s gaze, now filled with concern, again. “Sorry, didn’t mean to dump that on you. I just wanted to say thanks.” I held out my right hand, praying that I’d guessed which hand to use correctly. As Stark grabbed my hand, I had to hold back a sigh of relief when I saw the watch casually placed on his wrist.
“It was really nice meeting you, Mr. Stark,” I smiled a bit, with my left hand closing over his wrist while three of my fingers on my right hand undid the clasp on his watch. Then I pressed down one the buttons on either side of the clasp with my middle finger on my right hand and my thumb on my left hand, making sure to hold the watch in place. “If you’d like, I’d be happy to buy you a coffee to make up for it. There’s a really nice café right over there.” I squeezed the watch tightly with my left hand and jerked my chin towards the store just behind him. He turned his head and looked, pulling his hand back slightly as he did so, which allowed me to slip the watch off his wrist. Immediately, I dropped it in my pocket before he had a chance to turn back around.
“Thanks, kid, but I’m good. I’ll give your parents a call when I get home, ok?” He said before awkwardly giving me a pat on the shoulder. “Now go run off and play with some dolls or whatever.”
I rolled my eyes. “Thanks, but my collection can’t be nearly as big as yours,” I bit back with a slight, good-natured smirk. “Anyways, I gotta go home and get yelled at by my parents. Nice meeting you, Mr. Stark,” I called, waving to him as I was already leaving.
Stark shook his head with a small smile. “Yeah, you too, kid.”
-- 3rd Person POV --
“What, no watch today?” Tony furrowed his brows at Bruce’s question.
“Of course I have a watch today. I have a watch for every day of the week,” he scoffed, lifting his wrist to show off the rather expensive Rolex.
“Umm dude...?” Clint started.
“Yeah, I know it’s awesome, and no, you cannot try it on,” Tony smirked. “I have a very strict look don’t touch policy. These bad boys cost quite the pretty penny, and I wouldn’t want any of you trying to take it from me.” Clint just shrugged in defeat and unpaused his video game -- it wasn’t his fault his friend interrupted him trying to help.
“Tony, look at your wrist,” Steve rolled his eyes at the pompous man’s antics.
“What, just so I can admire it--” he cut himself off as his eyes landed on the bare skin of his wrist. “...Where the hell is my watch?”
“Maybe you forgot to put one on today?” Bruce shrugged, going back to his computer as he continued to work.
“No, I didn’t forget; I never forget,” Tony snapped. “It was there this morning, and now it’s gone.” He yanked up his sleeve to search in vain for the incredibly expensive missing item.
“Hey, maybe Tony was pick-pocketed, too,” Clint joked absentmindedly before cursing at some ‘dumbass little camping noob’ who kept killing him.
Tony’s eyes widened in realization. “Holy shit, it was the kid.”
“What?” Steve frowned.
“The kid! The kid who spilled coffee on me today!” He shouted. “I had my watch, then she shook my hand, and now the watch is gone. She totally took it!”
Clint paused the game again. “Wait, so basically some kid took your custom watch, which is worth thousands of dollars, right off your wrist, and you didn’t even notice?” Tony bobbed his head up and down frantically. “Hold on... You don’t think...” Clint glanced between the three other men in the room.
“(H/C) hair?” Steve asked.
“(E/C) eyes?” Bruce called, suddenly no longer able to focus on his work.
Tony nodded slowly with wide eyes. Reality crashed down on all three of them.
A wide smile slowly took over Clint’s face. “So you mean to tell me that three of the Avengers, the Earth’s greatest defenders, got scammed by the same teenage girl in less than a month?” The three men were silent, each of them staring at the ground as they started to question how smart they actually were.
About 30 seconds later, the silence was broken. “Nat, you’ll never believe what just happened. I can’t believe you weren’t home for this,” Clint talked excitedly into the phone while his teammates all slowly left the room to sulk alone.
------- Time Skip -------
It had been a whole month since I had gotten the watch off Tony Stark. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes when I saw the amount of zeros on the offer the pawn shop had given me. It was probably one of the best days of my life. Immediately, I had gone out and bought myself a meal at an actual restaurant, and let me tell you, they weren’t kidding when they said restaurant food is delicious. Every protein bar and bag of chips in the world couldn’t live up to the food I ate that day. And with that kind of money, I could be eating like that for maybe even a year! Still, I knew what I had to do.
It was almost Christmas. With the money I’d just gotten, I could afford to buy each and every kid at the orphanage actual brand new presents that year, instead of the crummy second-hand stuff that had to be shared between three or four kids that I usually brought. So, I went out and blew a good three quarters of my new budget on toys, and not the kind from thrift shops or even the ones from the big department stores. I could finally get them toys from one of the fancy stores that had display windows. And it was worth it, too, seeing the pure amazement that lit up those kids’ eyes when they saw there was enough for all of them. I then spent another quarter of the money on nonperishable foods that I donated to the homeless shelter plus one massive turkey for their Christmas feast.
After all of that, I was left with around 20 dollars for myself. Usually I can make money like that last with just a few extra marks, but as the month dragged on and less and less people were out on the streets at night, my budget ran thin. Eventually, I reached my breaking point. I’d gone I think four days now without any food. My stomach growled loudly, begging me to give it something, anything. I just sighed and receded further into the fabric of my thin, worn down coat that I’d found a few days back by a dumpster -- the coat I used to wear long traded in for a couple spare dollars. Sure, the wind cut through it like a knife, but hell, it was better than nothing.
I glanced up as I heard the crunching of footsteps in the snow, my heard immediately leaping into my throat at the prospect of there being people out. I frowned when I saw who they were. A couple walking together, chatting away about something or another. Normally, I would never choose a couple to target -- it was too easy for one of them to spot what I was doing to the other -- but I had gotten desperate. I was freezing cold, and I needed food now.
So, I walked directly towards them and crashed my shoulder into the guy’s, my hand slipping into his pocket. I thanked whatever higher power was watching over me when my hand came into contact with a money clip.
“Sorry,” I mumbled and slipped my hand back out before continuing to walk at a casual pace away from the two, tucking the clip into my pocket.
-- 3rd Person POV --
“Well that was rude,” Clint huffed, dusting himself off.
Natasha stared at the back of the young girl who continued to walk away like nothing had happened. “Hey, Clint,” she muttered.
“Yeah?”
“Where’s your wallet?”
“I put it back in my... pocket....” Clint froze when he realized he couldn’t feel the familiar clip in his jacket pocket. He whirled around to look at the girl, who was already a ways away. “Hey! Get back here!” He screamed, breaking into a run, Natasha quickly following suit.
-- Your POV --
“Hey! Get back here!” I glanced back with wide eyes, my heart leaping into my throat before immediately sprinting.
I ran through the snow, turning right and left through back alleys and narrow shortcuts, thanking my past self for never eating well, as my skinny form was able to stay on top of the snow for the most part. Still, somehow I hadn’t lost the two adults chasing me yet. They had barely fallen a foot or two behind over the last eight blocks. My stamina was quickly running out, the malnourishment over the past week finally catching up to me. I felt dizzy, and my chest burned as I focused on continuing to put one foot in front of the other. I turned down an alleyway with a brick wall at the end.
“Ha! We’ve finally caught you!” The man behind me panted. I completely ignored him, not pausing a single step as I sprinted towards the wall.
“Uhh, hey, kid? Rock beats teenager...” He called warily. I continued to ignore him. I was only five feet away. “Stop, you’re gonna hurt yourself!” he shouted just before I jumped, pressing my feet into the bricks to launch my further and further up. I reached as high as I could and just barely caught the edge of the wall with my fingertips. I swung my other arm up and forced my arms to pull myself to the top.
I panted as I gazed down from the top of the wall, the couple staring back up at me. “Holy shit,” the man muttered, to which the woman immediately smacked him in the arm.
“I’m sorry,” I said softly. “I was hungry.” I wasn’t really sure why I was apologizing. Granted, I knew what I was doing wasn’t very nice, but I don’t recall ever apologizing before. Maybe it’s because they reminded me of my parents -- or, at least, what I imagined my parents to be like. Maybe it’s because I was so dizzy that I couldn’t really think straight. I nodded slightly to the two before turning around, preparing myself to jump down the other side.
Suddenly, a massive wave of dizziness and nausea smacked me in the face. I groaned slightly and put my hand to my forehead, trying to get a hold of myself. Evidently, that didn’t work, because the next thing I knew, I was falling.
Time seemed to slow as I fell through the air. I probably shouldn’t pass out right now, the surprisingly calm thought entered my mind. If I do, I’ll most likely just freeze to death. Then again, passing out would save me a lot of pain from falling. Alright, I guess that’s it then. I’ll pass out now and hope I wake up in time to not die. My eyes fluttered closed just before I hit the ground, the fog in my brain thickening as I finally allowed myself to just give in to it.
-- 3rd Person POV --
Clint grunted as he caught the girl. He was expecting to fall to the ground with her, only really serving to break her fall, but was surprised to find that she wasn’t even heavy enough to knock him down. Natasha made her way over to his side, looking down at the little thief in her friend’s arms.
“She’s light as a feather,” Clint murmured with a frown on his face, “and freezing to the touch.”
“She said she was hungry,” Natasha muttered thoughtfully.
Clint grit his teeth and nodded, determined. “Alright, that settles it. We’re taking her back to the tower.”
Natasha glanced at him warily. “You sure? The others might not be so accepting.”
“They’re gonna have to be,” he stated, already walking back, holding the girl as close as he could in an attempt to warm her up.
#Avengers#avengers one shot#avengers imagine#avengers reader insert#avengers x reader#avengers x you#avengers x y/n
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I need to see Dean sending Cas and Jack out on a grocery quest alone
The entire episode goes like this
Dean gives Jack the list
Cas asks when they are going and Dean says he can’t go today
It takes them an hour to get there despite it being 5 minutes away
The screen cuts to showing Dean doing some laundry and dishes
Back to Cas and Jack parking Baby
Cas spends a good five minutes looking for a cart when Jack finds one
The cart ends up not pushing like all so Cas ends up getting a different one
Back to showing Dean cleaning the windows
Cas starts in the produce aisle and grabs a few fruits and vegetables as Jack tries to figure out the difference between the taste of different colored apples
Cas spent a good thirty minutes in the produce aisle because he wanted all of the food to be perfect (“what the hell is a mango and where is it going” “I think it’s a fruit.” “Well yes, but my question still stands.”)
They are now in the bread aisle and freaking the fuck out about what kinda bread to get (Jack sneaks little treats like honeycakes)
Tea is like a fucking war zone. (“This looks- what the fuck is that?” “This has honey in it Cas!” “Ok add it to the cart. I have to find Sam’s.”)
The screen now shows a clip of Dean kinda wondering where they are because it’s been and hour and forty minutes
But he shakes it off as maybe a road block
Back to Cas finally grabbing white bread in a brand he thinks he knows
Now Cas is getting milk and trying to remember what milk they get (“why is there so many different milks!?!? Almond Milk!?!?!!?!?!” “Ooo yogurt. Can we get some?” “Um… ok? What the fuck is yogurt.”)
Dean is now worried but gonna wait a few minutes because this is the first time they went alone
Cas is now picking out meat
He knows Dean likes bacon (“why are there so many bacon brands” “can we get steak? I heard it’s good.” “Ok.”)
Burgers??
But Dean makes his own with that stuff, Cas
How much do I get???
All of it!
I wonder if sausages taste good, I’m getting some.
I think I’ve had one before with Sam
Needless to say, it take another fucking hour just to get all the food
Dean calls Cas and Cas just says he was having trouble with brands but is fine
Cas is at the self check out because that’s what Dean does
I JUST PUT IN ON THE TABLE
ITS IN THE BAG
Can I scan?
My total is $96,0678,952.89?….. is that a lot? Dean only ends up paying around $300
I don’t think so
Oh well
what the fuck is a chip (the card chip)
No I don’t want my recipe
NO I DONT WANT IT
Tip the worker? He just watched my struggle
But he looks sad
…. Ok fine a three dollar tip
They runs out of room in the trunk for the food so they puts some in the backseat and upfront floor
They takes a good hour and a half to get home because stuff kept falling and Cas got lost again
They finally get home and Dean was waiting
“WHY THE FUCK IS THERE SO MUCH!?”
That’s what you told us to get
“Where’s the recipe?”
Here
Cas and Jack are now banded from grocery shopping alone.
#Jack totally seeks food in cart#and gets away with it#like shit food#Cas is too blind to notice#supernatural#spn#castiel winchester#dean winchester#jack kline
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Divorce Papers
Sometimes it can all get a little too much being the wife of Harry Styles...
Kids: Connor (2), Rebecca/Becca (1)
You couldn't lie to yourself anymore. Harry had been touring for the last 5 month and you were at home with two kids under the age of 3. He rarely called, barley visited home, and was always being photographed and big glitzy parties with a bunch of supermodels. At first, you didn't worry, you and Harry were married after all so there really was no worry, but as time went by you became more and more anxious about the situation. His calls went from daily to once a week at most. At first, you thought it was just the jet lag or the time zones that made it difficult but after hearing from him once in a matter of weeks and being forced to text Jeff to get updates on your husband’s whereabouts, you there was a problem.
You understood it was his job to go tour across the world wherever they sent him but you also knew that Harry was responsible for being a father to your children and that was one thing he was not fulfilling. It was always hard to raise toddlers so close in age but when you have to raise them alone because your husband is MIA, the situation could only get worse from there. Luckily Connor always slept through the night, but Becca would start screaming every few hours with no one to help you, it was starting to take a toll on you. Gemma, Harry's sister, tried to make up for her brother’s absence but it wasn't the same.
You were starting to think your marriage was crumbling. Your friends always said it was going to be hard as marrying a celebrity always came with a high price but you had always believed that love conquers all, although this idea was starting to slip away. You had spent the last 5 months thinking strongly on how to fix this problem but you soon realized that Harry had put in zero effort and went on as if nothing was wrong. This always led to the question, Is it even worth fixing at this point? You didn't know but you would soon find out.
After waking up to your alarm clock going off at 8:00 a.m. you rolled out of bed and went to the bathroom to freshen up an pee. Becca had just begun teething and you were nearly at your wits end having to cuddle her to bed every 2 hours. You manage to avoid waking her up as you crept downstairs to make yourself some breakfast peacefully before Gemma came over to spend the day with you and your kids. You started brewing some coffee as you desperately tried to keep your eyes open. Putting some bread in the toaster you sat at your island in silence, contemplating moving whether to move at all from that spot all day. As you sat there you suddenly heard feet hitting the floor upstairs as your son slowly made his way down the stair.
"Connor, what are you doing up buddy?" You asked as you picked him up in your arms, giving him a peck on the cheek.
"breakfast mama," he said in his broken English as he pointed at his high chair.
"Ok buddy let's get you something to eat," you said as you grabbed a box of Cheerios and some milk, pouring it all into a bowl. Your doorbell rang just as you finished finding him a spoon and placing a bib around his neck.
Slowly you walk over to the door revealing Gemma standing there with a bag of pastries and chocolate donut (Connor’s favorite).
"Well you look like shit," she said as she walked past you. You rolled your eyes and followed her, closing the door on the way in.
She removed the bowl of cheerios from his table and placed the donut down in-front of Connor as he clapped happily.
Gemma placed a kiss on his forehead before turning around to look at you, "still no call?" She asked quietly.
That had been the million-dollar question for the past two and a half weeks. No call, no text, no word from Harry. You heard nothing about how the tour was going or when he would have his next break. He had essentially cut off all communications and it was ruining you slowly.
You shook your head looking away, trying not to cry about Harry's lack of presence. Gemma swore under her breath and came up to you, giving you a tight hug.
"(Y/n) I know how bad this is and I know how much you love Harry but you can't keep going like this. You've reached your breaking point and this has become an unhealthy relationship. I love my brother with all my heart and I don’t know why he’s doing this but as your friend, I can’t see you like this"
She was right. You had lost at least 10 pounds from the stress and anxiety that Harry was causing you and you knew it needed to come to an end.
"I know but I don't know what to do. I love him, but I can't reach him. I'm basically losing my mind and I don't know how to stop it all" you stated.
She stayed quiet for a minute before quietly asking, "have you thought about a divorce at all?"
In truth you had a couple of times before when it was three in the morning and Becca would scream out for her daddy and you knew there was nothing you could do, but it always felt too extreme.
"Yeah it's crossed my mind a couple times...... but I could never do it I don't think. I love him so much and I can't be alone again, I really can't." You whispered as your eyes began to gloss over.
Gemma wrapped her arms around you tightly. "Shhh, it's going to be ok. Tell you what why don't you come with the kids to my house for a bit and stay there so you’re not alone. I can talk to Michal and see if his friend John can draft up some divorce papers with you... nothing to sign but just to see what it would entail. Did you guys sign a prenup at all? " she asked as you wipe your tears with the edge of your sleeves.
You shook your head, “No, I offered to sign one for him but he refused. Regardless, I don’t want his money, that’s not why I married him”
“I know love, I know. It complicates the situation a bit but nothing that can’t be dealt with later. Besides, you know Harry is going to give you at least half of his earnings if not more regardless of if you want it. He worries about you.” Gemma adds.
“I wish he would at least talk to me if he’s so worried” you mumbled as you heard cries come from the baby monitor sitting on the kitchen counter.
“Let’s take it one step at a time. I’ll call Michal and why don’t you go get Becca” Gemma stated as you went over to wipe the chocolate off of Connor's giddy face as you made your way up the stairs.
You slowly entered Becca’s room and greeted her with a soft ‘good morning’ as you reached her arms out to you from her crib. You smiled at your baby girl who had seemed to have woken up in a better mood than yesterday. You battle with Becca down the stairs as she attempts to take off your shirt by swatting at your boob (a sign that she’s hungry).
"Connor says he wants to have a sleepover with me so it has been decided that you’re all staying over at my house” Gemma cheered as Connor giggled in her arms.
“Gemma, really it’s ok. I don’t want to burden you or Michal” you replied
"Nonsense! Michal loves having these little gremlins and you around. I’ll take Connor up with me and we’ll start packing a bag for him while you feed Rebecca. We have the crib from when Michal’s godson stayed with us a couple of weeks ago so we can move that into the guestroom for you. I'll go call Michal and tell him to come help and we'll be ready in no time!" she said began to make her way upstairs.
"Ok, thanks Gem” you replied as you sat down on the couch with your fussy baby, getting ready to feed her.
------------------------------------------------------------------
*6 hours later*
After changing Becca and double-checking that you had your purse, you and Gemma got into your car and made the 20-minute drive to Gemma and Michal’s house. Michal being the angel that he is had offered to bring all the bags in his car and drive them over. By the time you got to their house, all your bags were set up in the guest room and the crib Rebecca would be sleeping in was set up in the corner of the room.
After you had all settled in, Gemma took Connor outside to play in the sprinkler while Becca took a nap upstairs. You sat in the living room with Michal as he began to explain the papers his friend had drafted for you.
"I'm not gonna lie, this is going to be a long process that will bring out the worst in both of you. Custody will be a major part as well as splitting of assets and money."
You shook your head "I don't want any money. I didn't marry him for money so I'm not going to divorce him for any" you stated
He nodded as he began correcting the forms and continued to explain the legal process as well as the custody procedures. After almost two hours of staring at twenty pages of legal papers, you were finally starting to understanding it all (sort of). Rebecca had woken up ten minutes ago and was now sitting on your lap moving her head every time her name was mentioned. Gemma had brought Connor inside and helped him take a bath and they were watching a movie in her room as you and Michal finished up. You were going over the final details when the doorbell rang. Gemma got up from the couch and went to open it when you suddenly heard some shouting and a pair of rough footsteps heading towards the living room.
You looked up to see none other the Harry who looked both worried and furious at the same time.
"I came home expecting to see my children and wife but I come home to an empty house and a note saying you were gone" he shouted as you sat there in shock, seeing your husband for the first time in months.
Rebecca whined softly as she became irritated from the loud boom of Harry's voice. Michal quickly stood and rested his hand on your shoulder signaling that he would take Becca upstairs so we could talk. You carefully passed Rebecca off to Michal as Connor came barreling towards Harry.
“Dada Dada” Connor shouted as his chubby body knocked right into Harry’s legs.
“Hi baby, I’ve missed you” he replied as he picked up Connor in his arms and showered him with kisses.
“You should be ashamed of yourself Harry Edward Styles. If mom were here right now she’d have an absolute fit at your behavior. You’re so lucky (Y/n) won’t let me tell her because she would have flown out to whoop your ass. Come on Connor want to go watch the wiggles upstairs” Gemma stated as she grabs Connor from Harry’s arms.
“wiggles wiggles” Connor cheered as Gemma and Michal carried your kids upstairs.
“If you so much as yell at her Harry I will murder you” Gemma yelled from the top of the stairs.
Once they were gone you slowly got up from the couch and cleaned up all the papers scattered around the coffee table. As you began placing them in a folder Harry snatched them and began reading through them.
"Divorce papers? Are you serious? I've been gone for my job, a job I have to support you and the kids, and you want to divorce me for it?" He questioned as his anger started to bubble up.
You sighed, "that's not the reason Harry and you know it. It was just an idea Gemma had mentioned so I was looking into it. Besides, I would be divorcing you for neglecting not only me but our family for the last 5 months. Harry, I love you but this isn’t right"
"I had to work (Y/n), what part of that did you not understand?" he shouted as he dropped the papers on the floor.
"The part where you stop calling your family for months and spend your spare time on yachts with supermodels instead of coming to see your children. I shouldn’t have to ask your manager how you’re doing, you should be telling me" you yell back
He chuckles angrily, "Is that what this is about, you think I cheated? I didn't, but if that’s what you want I'll get right on it? Would that solve your problems?" He replied sarcastically.
Your eyes began to water at the idea Harry described and you pressed your fingers to your eyes as to prevent yourself from crying in front of him. " Harry I love you but if that's how you truly feel then maybe we shouldn't have gotten married in the first place" you stated
"Maybe you're right" he stated as he turns around and stomps towards the kitchen. You let out a shaky breath as you watch him leave. This was not the way you thought your day was going to turn out.
You began picking up the divorce papers as you hear a cry come from upstairs. Carefully you wipe the tears from your eyes and started to make your way up to go get Becca. You walked into the master bedroom to find Connor fast asleep on Michal’s lap while Gemma attempts to calm Becca down by rocking her back and forth in the corner.
When they spot you in the doorway, Michal gives you a sympathetic smile while Gemma’s frown deepens. You smile in return and pick up Becca from Gemma's arms and walk out of the room. You go to the guest room quickly to grab her favorite blanket and walked downstairs. You can hear Harry pacing in the kitchen, the pile of divorce papers missing from the floor most likely with him. You cautiously made your way to the glass door in the back of the living room and stepped outside into the slightly chilly night, bundling yourself and Becca up in the plush purple blanket Harry had bought Becca when she was born. You turned on the patio light and made your way to Gemma's garden to the small swing standing in the middle of it.
You stay there crying as you rock Becca to sleep in your arms. A while later you heard footsteps slowly approach the garden and feel the weight of the swing shift as someone sits next to you. You don't dare look up as the smell of cologne gives away that it's Harry. He clears his throat a couple of times before speaking.
"Why wouldn't you take any of my money?" He asked quietly as he folded the divorces papers
You wiped your tears slowly and took a deep breath before responding, "because I didn't marry you for your money so why should I divorce you and get it. I married you because I love you"
"You need the support. I would give you all the money in a heartbeat you know that" he mumbled back
"I have a job and some savings, I could support myself and our kids" you stated. You heard him grunt as he flipped through the pages.
"Custody battle? Do you think it would come to that?" He asked quietly as you saw his shoulders shake.
"My babies are my everything....... I can't lose them like I already lost you" you stated as you caressed Becca's cheek.
"You didn’t lose- were you actually going to sign these?" He asked, voice cracking as you watched his hands begin to shake.
"No" you replied back, barely louder than a whisper.
Harry let out a breath and timidly let's go of the papers placing them on the ground before wrapping his arm around you carefully.
The minute your head hit his chest you began to cry. Harry quickly took Becca out of your arms and into his chest as you clung to him, sobbing into his shirt. He caressed his free hand up and down your back and placed chase kisses onto your forehead as he whispered sweet words and apologies to you.
You sobs slowly became sniffles as you wrapped your arms around yourself, leaving your head to lean on Harry's shoulders.
"Baby I’m so unbelievably sorry. I didn’t know it had gotten this bad. Why didn't you tell me you felt this way? With all the shows and starting to record the new album, I forgot about the most important thing in my life." He asked as he rubbed circles into your back.
You twiddled with your fingers, "I could never reach you. Every time I tried to call you were busy so I thought, ok he can just call me, but then your calls just got shorter and then they just stopped. I took it as you were busy but even when you had a couple days off you wouldn't come visit. You had basically broken off from us, Harry. I didn't know what to do. I spent most days with Gemma and most nights with a crying Becca keeping me up because all she wanted was her Dada singing her to sleep. I had to play your albums every night to try and get her to calm down and every time your voice played through the speaker, I died inside. It was all too much for me. I was alone Harry and you were nowhere to be found. I want my husband back. I want the man I fell in love with four years ago that use to wake up at 5 am halfway across the globe just to wish me goodnight. I want the man that cried at our wedding as I walked down the aisle. I want the man that tries to sneak chocolate chips into Connor’s pancakes while I’m not watching just to make his baby boy smile. I want my Harry back." you replied as you stared at the ground.
Harry stiffened as you finished speaking. He slowly lifted your chin up to meet your eyes. You could see tears falling down from his eyes as he looked straight at you. You could tell he was hurting and just the thought of him breakdown was making you shatter into a million pieces. You carefully got up from the swing a grabbed Becca from his arms before tucking her head into the nook of your neck as you cautiously sat down on Harry's laps. Harry let out a loud breath before he carefully wrapped his arms around your frame and staring straight into your eyes.
"I’m right here baby, I’m still your Harry. I love you so much and just the thought of losing you and my babies hurts me more than a bullet ever could. I'm sorry I didn't call but I was so homesick that I figured it would be easier on both of us if I just kept my distance. I figured the check-ins with Jeff would be enough. I know that’s no excuse but I promise baby I’ll be better. I love you so so much you have no idea (Y/n). I promise I'll be better for you and for our kids just please don't leave me" he said as he hugged you tighter causing a sob to escape your lips.
"I love you too H" you state in between sobs. You both sat there for a while until you had stopped crying. Cautiously Harry lifted your face to look at him.
"Can I rip up those papers when we get back?" He asked timidly as he stared at you.
You nodded furiously and quickly pulled him into a deep kiss. You pulled away breathless as you lean your forehead against his.
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have taken it that far. I should have just waited to talk with you before asking Michal about them and I..." you tried to continue but Harry stopped you with a kiss.
"Shhh we're going to get through this baby” He whispered as he caressed your hair.
“We need to go to therapy, Harry. This was a big deal and I don’t think we can slip this under the rug and get back to where we were without it” You mumbled into his neck.
“Of course (Y/n). I’ll go to therapy every day for the next thirty years if it means I get to keep you and my babies with me. I'm going to be better for you and for the kids. I'm going to take you all on tour with me from today on and were going to work through this. Now, why don't we head in it starting to get pretty cold." He stated as carefully helped you up while making sure Becca was wrapped up tightly in her blanket. You snuggled deeper into Harry's side and nodded your head as the two of you walked into the house once more.
Gemma and Michal sat on the couch talking quietly to each other as the tv played in the background They looked up at the two of you cautiously. Harry quickly kissed your head and grabbed Becca before taking her upstairs to bed.
You carefully grabbed one of the four full wine glasses on the coffee table and sat on the love seat next to the fire hoping to warm up a bit. Gemma starred at you as you sat there. You knew she was dying to know what happened outside, but she was too kind to ask.
"I think we're going to be ok" you state as you wrap the blanket closer to your chest. Gemma gets up and gives you a big hug.
“You’re not letting him off the hook are you?” she asked sternly.
“No, he’s not off the hook. We’re going to start therapy and we’re going to take things slow. He said he’s going to be home more and that he’s going to take us on tour with him from now on but we’ll see. One day at a time” you mumbled as you took a sip from your glass
"I'm glad it all worked out but if he hurts you again, family or not, I'll kick his ass. No one disrespects my (Y/n)" she said seriously. You laughed and simply nodded your head as you heard Harry's footsteps down the stairs.
"Thanks for watching Connor," Harry said as he shook Michal's hand and kissed the top of Gemma's head as she made her way to the spot next to her husband.
"Anytime. He is so adorable and quiet" Michal gushed.
You smiled softly and moved over slightly in your seat, making room for Harry. Harry carefully picked you up from the love seat and sat down, placing you on his lap and wrapping his arms tightly around you, burying his head into your neck.
The four of you spent the rest of the night watching tv quietly as you cuddled in the loveseat, Harry stealing sips from your wine glass as you try your hardest not to fall asleep. After a while, Gemma and Michal said their goodnights and headed up to their room as Harry carefully picked you up and carried you to the guest room. He slowly laid you on the bed and removed all of your clothes except your underwear before taking off his shirt and helping you place your arms in the sleeves. He tucked you into bed and quickly changed into a pair of sweatpants before grabbing a pillow and getting ready to spend the night on the floor. He didn’t want to overstep and end the day on the wrong note but the minute he heard you call his name he smiled. He quickly checked on Becca that was fast asleep in her crib while Connor slept peacefully in the small bed laid out next to your bed. He gave both of them a quick kiss on the cheek before carefully sliding into bed behind you.
You curled your body into Harry's and sighed contently as he wrapped his arms around you. You heard a faint "I love you, baby, so much" from Harry as you drifted off to sleep. For the first time in months, you were able to sleep through the night and you couldn't be happier.
Wow, it’s been a long time but I hope ya’ll enjoyed this one!!
Masterlist
#harry styles imagine#harry styles blurb#harry styles x reader#harry styles#harry styles masterlist#harry styles family#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles one shot
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Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Ch 5- Bread Cat Power Pack
Co Written with @icanfeelastormbrewing
Summary: Jake and Stella patch up their friendship, but Evan isn’t particularly happy about it.
Warnings: Bad Language words.
Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson.
A/N: We KNOW this is a slow burn but we promise things are going to heat up soon!!!
TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Stella stood at the trunk of the CIA issued Sedan, grimacing. It was the middle of January, cold and snowy, and she had a few bags of shopping to get back into her apartment. She was trying to figure out if she could make it upstairs with all of it at once, to prevent having to come back down, but was failing to see how it was possible.
“Needs some help?” a familiar voice asked and she turned to see Jake coming towards her, still in his uniform, his heavy boots leaving prints in the light, powdery dusting of fresh snow.
She smiled “Yeah, actually. You can grab a couple of these, save me coming back down.”
Jake looked in the trunk and scoffed “You stocking for winter, Stel?” he asked as he grabbed three of the bags.
She snorted “I literally have nothing in my cupboards.” She picked up the remaining two, locked the car and followed him to the main doors of the Condo building. “I’ve not really been here over the last two weeks so…” “I guess you’ve been spending time at your boyfriend’s huh?” Jake asked, his voice neutral as Stella managed to open the door.
“His name is Evan.” She rolled her eyes “And yeah, you could say that.”
Jake remained quiet as they strode to the elevator. Stella called it down and once the doors pinged open, they stepped inside and Jake placed the bags he was carrying down at his feet.
“So, I haven’t seen you since New Year.” Stella looked at him “How’s stuff going? You and Britney good?” “Yeah, erm, about that…” Jake cleared his throat a little as he selected their floor.
As the doors shut, Stella turned to look at him, frowning “Is there something wrong or…”
“That depends on who you ask.” Jake mused “If you ask her then yeah. She’ll probably tell you I’m a…what were her exact words? Oh right, a fucking asshole”
“What did you do?” Stella sighed and Jake grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I dumped her.”
Stella raised her eyebrows “Well speaking from experience, I can kinda see why she might be a little upset.”
Jake looked at her for a moment, deciding whether or not to respond to her little dig but in the end he didn’t get chance as the elevator stopped and opened on their floor. Jake picked up his bags and followed her across to her apartment. She set the bags she was carrying down, grabbed her key and the door swung open. Jake stepped in after her, nudging the door shut with his foot and instantly that familiar smell of vanilla, fresh laundry and the light tones of her perfume hit his senses. He hadn’t been in here for months. They made their way through to the little kitchen and she flipped on the lights, Jake dropping the bags onto the side.
“So are you ok about the pair of you being over or…” Stella turned to face him and Jake wrinkled his nose.
“Well, I wasn’t that into her. I mean, she was just…” he stopped and shrugged a little “I’m all right, yeah.”
Stella snorted, shaking her head “Wow.”
“Had to be honest with her.”
At that Stella couldn’t help the scoff that escaped her throat “That’s a first”
“Wow, that’s the second dig in the last 2 minutes.” Jake arched an eyebrow and Stella inwardly cursed herself. He’d done nothing to deserve either of the shots she’d taken, especially after he was being nothing but helpful
“Sorry, that was uncalled for.”
“Was it?” he asked.
There was a moment’s pause before they both spoke at the same time.
“Look, Jake, I don’t wanna…”
“I miss you Stel…you know, us hanging out.
The last bit of Jake’s sentence was added hastily and Stella took a deep breath.
“You’ve been a jerk to me recently, JJ”
“I know I fucked it all up.” He continued pleading his case “But I love you Stel, as friends, ya know?”
She studied him for a moment, and Jake held his breath before her eyes softened, the way they always did when she was coming round, and he exhaled slowly.
“Guess I miss you too.” She said quietly.
At her words Jake’s face split into a grin. “You guess or…”
“Don’t push it.”
He laughed, and on a roll he decided to see how far he could edge his luck. “I don’t suppose you’re free tonight, maybe grab a pizza, I got beer.”
Stella felt her face fall “Sorry JJ, Ev’s coming over.” and as she spoke she realised she actually was sorry. For a split second she considered calling Ev and cancelling, which in itself confused her. Why was she even thinking that? And then she realised, it was because she missed Jake. Despite everything, they’d been through too much for her not to care for him.
Jake nodded, “Okay, well, maybe another night?”
Stella blinked, she’d been expecting some sarcastic quip about Evan but none had come, which surprised her a little. That said, she smiled and nodded “Yeah I’d like that.”
Jake nodded “Right, I’ll err…let you unpack all that then and see you later I guess.”
“Yeah, great. Oh, and thanks.” She smiled “For helping me.”
“Well, you know me, I’m not one to leave a damsel in distress.” He winked. “I’ll see myself out.”
He made his way out of the apartment, closing her door behind him, taking a deep breath as he headed over the landing. Despite the setback about the pizza and beer, he felt good. The air was clearer, it was good progress, easy easy catch a monkey and all that.
He fished in his pocket for his keys and just as he was opening his door he heard hers open behind him.
“Look, I got a little while.” Stella spoke “I was gonna bake some cookies, you wanna help?”
Jensen allowed himself a grin before he turned to face her “You miss me already?”
“Don’t push it asswipe.” She shot back and he laughed.
“Gonna make extra dough so I can eat it?”
She rolled her eyes “Yes, dur.”
“Ok, gimme ten to change and I’ll come over.”
“Use your key.” She nodded, before she pulled her head back in her apartment and shut the door.
Jensen gave a little fist pump of victory as he stepped inside his hallway, smirking to himself “Operation Petunia is a go…”
**** After a quick shower, Jensen changed into a pair of grey sweats, a plain navy blue t-shirt and headed over the hall in his socks. As instructed, he let himself in and walked through to the kitchen, the sound of the radio growing louder as he went. He stopped in the doorway and watched as Stella stood with her back to him, dressed in a pair of leggings and an oversized white- slouchy vest top with a tighter cami underneath, rifling in a cupboard. He felt a sudden, nostalgic pang for the times she used to dress casually like that around their student quarters or back at home when they were slobbed in front of the TV at her Ma’s or his Parents. With a little breath, he coughed and she turned to face him, smiling before she nodded to the fridge.
“Make yourself useful and grab us a coupla’ beers will ya?”
He saluted her and she gave a snort as he headed to the fridge and pulled it open, giving a groan as he spotted the Sam Adams. Grabbing two, he popped the tops before he handed her one. She thanked him and continued pulling the ingredients she needed out of the cupboards, the pair of them falling into an easy, but still careful conversation. Stella cursed as she mumbled something about her digital scales running out of batteries and then retrieved the old faithful analogue ones.
“Why is it, when you need something, that’s always the time it’s gonna end up nor working?” she grumbled, setting the dial to zero carefully.
“One of life’s many mysteries Stel.” Jake said wisely as she began to measure the flour out. “Along with why cats always fall on their feet, snidey little bastards.”
Stella snorted, “Or why buttered bread always lands butter down when you drop it? Although I think there’s a scientific explanation to that.”
“There is.” Jake nodded, taking a drink from his beer “When the bread falls out of your hand, it does so at an angle, see, by nature of it having slipped from its previous position, and it rotates.” Jensen twisted his hand in the air to demonstrate his point “Given that it’s normally dropped from a hand or a table, which is like two feet or so, there’s enough time for the toast to rotate about one-half of a turn and thus it lands upside down relative to its original position and oh my God, I’ve just had a brainwave!” he trailed off, grinning
Stella looked at him, her mouth dropping open “What, hang on, back up!”
“No, listen. I just said a cat always lands on its feet right?”
Yeah.” Stella looked at him.
“And you said that bread with butter always falls butter side down?”
Stella’s eyes squinted in confusion. “Jake, what the fuck are you…”
“Just hear me out.” he looked at her as he placed his beer bottle on the side behind him. “If…” both his hands flew up, pointers extended, the bottom of his t-shirt riding up slightly as he did so “If you fastened bread with butter to a cat’s back, then the Cat will keep turning and never fall on the ground.”
Stella blinked and simply looked at him, the way she always did when he was being utterly ridiculous.
“And then, if I attached the bread cat to a generator…” he grinned and held his hands out by his sides, palms open facing upwards “Infinite energy.”
There was a pause before Stella bust out laughing.
“That is the dumbest thing I ever heard!” she shook her head “And that’s saying something coming from you!”
“You won’t be laughing when I’m a millionaire.” Jensen said sagely. “Bread Cat Power Pack, copyright Jacob Calvin Jensen.”
“The only way you’ll ever become a millionaire is if they give you a dollar every time someone laughs at your stupid, shit ideas.” She shook her head, her hands falling to her hips.
“Laugh all you want Stelly, but I’m planning on buying a yellow hummer with the profits.”
Stella paused. That was the first time he’d called her Stelly in…well, she couldn’t actually remember. But it felt nice. This whole scenario felt nice in fact, the pair of them, just hanging out. Just like old times, before it all went to shit.
She smiled “What is it with you and hummers?”
“I just like them.”
“They’re vile, JJ.”
“No, they aren’t. They’re classy.” He picked his beer back up.
“Classy.” Stella snorted and Jake pointed his bottle towards her.
“You never could appreciate the finer things in life.” he sighed dramatically.
“Considering I appreciated you for years that’s a dumbass thing to say.” she arched an eyebrow at him
“Aww you sayin’ I’m a finer thing, Stel?” he teased and she rolled her eyes, ignoring him.
“Why yellow?”
“Why not?” he popped a shoulder at her question before he grinned “It matches my sunny disposition.”
At that Stella gave another snort “God, Jake!”
Jensen simply grinned back and Stella watched him for a second, noticing how relaxed he seemed. Every time she’d seen him over the past month or so he’d been tense. But today, gone was the unusual sulky demeanour he’d embodied recently and he wasn’t snapping or being mean. He was simply being Jake. The Jake she adored.
“Hey, Stel?” Jake asked, dragging her from her thoughts. “Reckon we can make these cookies in the shape of Hummers?”
“Do you have a Hummer shaped cookie cutter?” she asked, turning her attention back to the job in hand, tossing the ingredients into the mixing bowl.
“No.” Jensen wrinkled his nose “Why would I have one of those?”
“Then that’s your answer.”
“Buzz kill.” He muttered, fighting to keep the smirk of his face as he knew exactly what effect those words would have on her. She hated it when he insinuated she was no fun.
“Buzz kill?” she turned to look at him.
“Yup.”
“Fuck you.” She retorted, and Jake gave a splutter as a handful of flour hit him straight in the face, going right up his nostrils and into his mouth.
He blinked, looked at Stella before he shook his head "Oh, Stel, it's on..." he smirked before he moved towards her and she gave a shriek as he easily manhandled her out of the way and grabbed the flour she was trying to move out of his reach. The kitchen filled with yells and laughter as handful after handful went flying around into faces, hair, just about any visible body part and suddenly they were jerked from their little flour war when a clearing of a throat could be heard. Both of them turned to see Evan standing in the kitchen door, a bouquet of bright flowers in one hand and a bottle of something in the other.
"How the fuck did you get in?” Jensen blurted out before he could stop himself and Stella punched him on the arm “Ow, Stell, shit!”
“Don’t be rude.” She glared at him.
“For your information,” Evan stated as he walked into the kitchen “, not that it’s any of your business, but Stel gave me the spare key.”
“Huh.” Jake looked at him before he grinned “I got one of those too.”
Evan looked at him, his eyes squinted slightly “Good for you.”
“Yeah, it is!” Jake continued, the grin still stood on his face.
The two men remained staring at one another, Jake covered head to toe in flour as Stella gave a little groan but before she could tell the pair of them to behave, Evan spoke.
“What’s all this mess?” he asked, nodding to the flour all over the room.
“Oh, we had a mission where we seized over Forty kilos of cocaine.” Jake spoke, his voice deadly serious “I thought I'd bring it round for a good time.”
At that point Stella gave a snort of laughter, nudging Jake hard on the arm, the pair of them giggling again before she spotted the look on Evan’s face. His features were completely serious and there was a flash of anger in his eyes. So she coughed and shook her head.
“I was trying to bake some cookies and Jakey was helping me, sort of.” She shrugged “He’s more of a pain in the ass than a help, mind.”
She didn’t miss the way Evan cringed when she called Jensen ‘Jakey’ but before she could say anything Jensen grumbled.
“Rude.”
“Well you are. You're a monumental pain in the ass” Stella rolled her eyes.
“Yeah but you love me Stel” Jake winked and Stella arched an eyebrow, folding her arms in cloud of flour.
“Jury's out”
“You know…” Evan spoke, his tone sarcastic as he set the bottle he was carrying on the kitchen side “..if i'm interrupting something I can leave.”
“Easy man! But yeah-“ Jensen flashed his trademark grin “You just interrupted us.”
Stella slapped him round the back of the head. “No, you didn’t.”
“Stop hitting me!” Jensen rubbed the place where her palm had connected.
“Well stop being a jerk!”
He turned to face her and sarcastic quip he had prepared died as he saw that she was no longer grinning at him.
“Shouldn’t you go and get cleaned?” Evan spoke and Jake looked at him, wrinkling his nose.
“I kinda like being dirty.”
Stella groaned again as she wiped her face and hands free from flour and then nodded to the bouquet Evan had in his hands “Are they for me?”
“No, I bought them for Jensen.” He dead panned with a roll of his eyes, before his handsome face split into a grin. “Course they're for you baby.”
Jensen watched as Stella smiled broadly and he took in the bunch of brightly coloured gerberas and roses, frowning a little. And then, once more he just couldn’t help but stir the pot at little bit more.
“Oh man. She hasn’t told you about her favourites, hasn’t she?” he nodded to the flowers. Evan frowned and Stella wheeled round to glare at Jake.
“Seriously Jake, shut up.”
“You should have brought her petunias.” Jensen sighed, his hands on his hips as she shook his head with the manner of a father disappointed at his child.
“Yeah, see you're talking but all I'm hearing is noise.” Evan rolled his eyes as Stella reached for the bouquet.
“I’ll put them in a vase. Thanks baby, they’re gorgeous” she beamed at him.
Jake couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the smug look on Evan’s face, most likely cos she just called him baby in front of him. But seriously, what kind of dick boyfriend doesn’t know what his girl’s favourite flowers are?
Evan then picked up the bottle he'd set on the side with a flourish and spun it so the label was facing Stella "I also saw this at one of the stalls at the market and it made me think of you."
Stella looked at him, not understanding for a moment, before she read the label and her eyes opened wide.
“Pumpkin spiced gin…oh my god!” she laughed, taking it from him.
Evan grinned “Now you can make alcoholic lattes.”
“Or just drink it neat over ice.” She smiled at him “I bet this tastes amazing.”
At that Evan smirked and when he spoke again his voice dropped an octave “Probably not as good as you but we’ll give it a go.”
At that Stella flushed and Jake gave an audible groan and then immediately wished he hadn’t as he’d given the dickhead everything he wanted. Evan turned to him with a maddeningly smug look on his face “Still here Jensen? Thought you were going.”
“You wish.” Jake mumbled, but thankfully neither of them heard him as Stella was studying the bottle label to try and hide her embarrassment. He took a deep breath, he knew he had to be careful not to make Stella pissed at him again. So, in a rare self-aware moment, he cleared his throat and spoke a little louder “Well as riveting as chatting with you is, Ev, you're right. I got stuff to do, you know, places to go, people to see..."
“Yeah, sure you do.” Evan replied flippantly “Tell Britney I said hi.”
“Ev, don’t.” Stella shook her head and Evan frowned, turning to her.
“What, I’m not…”
“It’s ok Stelly, he didn't know.” Jensen hid the little smile that was threatening to creep onto his lips at the flinch Evan had made when he used Stella’s old nickname and he gave a shrug. “We broke up.”
“You broke up?” Evan repeated, his face blank. “I’m sorry man.”
“Don’t be.” Jake waved a hand. “Actually it was me who broke it off.”
“Well, still, you must be a little bit...upset, I suppose?”
“Nope.” Jake shook his head “What's got 2 thumbs and is free, single and ready to mingle?” he jerked his thumbs at himself. “This guy"
With that he pat Evan on his shoulder “See ya later.” and he made his way out of Stella’s apartment, closing door behind him. Once it was shoot he paused and took a deep breath.
Fuck that guy.
Up until him turning up they’d been having a great time, simply messing around in the kitchen like they used to. Mind you, it had been a good afternoon, the pair of them were back on even terms, so all in all…yeah, Jensen felt buoyed. With a little spring in his step he headed over the hall back to his apartment and straight to the fridge for a beer. As he popped the lid his phone pinged with a message from Pooch. He, Cougs and Roque were heading out for a few beers and Jake’s presence was apparently “not required but welcome.” Jensen smiled, he was in a good mood so, yeah, drinks!
He showered again to get rid of the flour, changed into a pair of jeans and a casual black sweater before he shrugged on his warm SuperDry coat and headed back out. As he passed Stella’s door on the way to the elevator he could hear her raised voice and instantly he felt his skin prickle. His Jakey Sense as Stella had jokingly dubbed it was tingling. He paused and moved closed to the doors and could hear her and Evan were arguing.
He shouldn’t listen, he knew that, but they were being so loud it was impossible not to. Plus, when all’s said and done he was also a nosey bastard.
“For fucks sake, Ev! You've been fine for the last twenty minutes, why are you brining this up now?”
“All I said was I wish you'd told me about the flowers! I've bought you bouquets before and you never mentioned petunias.”
Jake smirked a little as Stella groaned.
“It’s really not that big a deal!”
“Well apparently it is according to Jensen!” Evan shot back.
“So that's what this is about. It isn't the flowers at all is it? It's Jake” Stella responded, her voice agitated and Jake could completely picture her stood there, arms folded, glaring up at him. He’d seen it often enough himself.
“And what if it is?” Evan’s voice was equally as loud.
“Oh for fucks sake...he's my friend, my best friend.”
“And your EX, Stella!”
“Carry on this way and you will be as well!” Stella shot back and at that Jake felt his smirk grow even wider.
“Way to go Stel…” he mumbled to himself.
“What do you mean?” Evan’s voice was louder still “You hang out with your ex and I’m the problem?”
“No, the problem is you being all pissy about something that isn't really a big issue. Jake and I...” Stella sighed, “We have history, a lot of history. Even before we dated we were friends and it's been so shit recently when we haven't been talking and...” her voice was gathering in speed and Jensen could tell she was starting to get upset. He had heard it and seen it a thousand times before.
“And why do you think that is, Stel?” Evan’s voice was now quiet, but the tone was cold and threatening, and Jensen took a deep breath. He didn’t like the way this was going. “Come on, you can’t be that oblivious.” Stella didn’t reply, and Evan continued “See, you know I'm right. You were on bad terms because he was a jealous asshole, you said it yourself with the way he behaved when we had our first date in the coffee shop. And everyone knows he was only dating that Britney bint to try and piss you off. Even your own sister said that.”
Jensen could feel himself getting hot with anger at the way the bastard was using Rey against Stella, despite the fact Evan was completely right. As much as Jensen had denied it at the time, that was totally why he ended up with Brit. Call it a rebound, a stubborn attempt to prove to himself he didn’t need Stella, whatever. The core of it was always down to her.
“Huh, he aint actually as stupid as he looks.” Jensen muttered to himself.
“He wasn’t jealous.” Stella responded, her voice quiet “How could he be when he dumped me? Twice.”
At that Jensen bowed her head, the hurt in her voice was evident.
“Who knows what goes through his head or why he did that, I've no idea, but if you think he's over you then you're mistaken. And I don’t like it, Stella, not one bit.” Evan took a deep breath “I think you should stay away from him.”
Jensen felt his mouth drop open a little and he blinked, had he seriously just told her that? He waited with baited breath for Stella’s reply, which came a second or so later, in a tone he knew only too well, she’d had enough.
“You know what, I’m not in the mood for going out tonight.”
“Okay, well, let’s stay in then.” Evan’s tone suddenly flipped to the doting boyfriend again and Jensen frowned once more. This guy was unreal. “I can cook us something”
“Dumb bastard, take the hint.” Jensen grumbled as Stella audibly sighed. He could picture her, running her hand through her hair, pressing the heel of her palm to the space between her eyes.
“I need to get cleaned up and then sort out this mess.” She replied “I think it’s better if you go home.”
“Seriously?” Evan spoke with disbelief “You’re actually telling me to go?”
“Yeah.”
There was a pause “Fine.” Evan responded “I’ll leave you to it. You and Jensen can finish whatever it was you were doing.”
“We were making cookies.”
“Whatever, Stella. If you’re more interested in defending him than having dinner with me then, that’s you’re call.”
And then Jensen realised he needed to disappear before Evan came out and found him. He hastily made his way back to his apartment, and had just gotten inside when Stella’s door was wrenched open. So as not to attract attention to himself with the sound of the lock clicking, Jensen didn’t quite close his fully and stayed waiting for Evan to disappear. To Jensen’s horror he paused, looking directly at his door, before he looked back at Stella’s and then made his way to the elevator. After what seemed like an age it arrived and he stepped into it, the door pinging shut behind him.
Jensen felt bad, he really did. He hadn’t wanted Stella to be upset. But more over he felt uneasy. The way Evan had spoken to her, and directed the blame straight back onto her and then told her to stay away from him was manipulative, controlling almost.
And he didn’t like it one bit.
****
“Jensen, what’s with you man?” Roque asked, placing his empty bottle on the table. “You’re being uncharacteristically non-annoying tonight.”
Jensen rolled his eyes, “Nothing, I’m fine.”
He felt Pooch’s eyes on him and purposely ignored him, looking around the bar at anything and everything. His eyes fell momentarily on a table of girls some four or so down from theirs one of them bore a fleeting resemblance to Stella actually and he hastily looked away, glancing down at his beer. He necked the rest and set the empty bottle down.
“My round.” Pooch nodded as he stood up, his hand falling onto Jensen’s shoulder “Give me a hand man?”
“Sure.” Jake stood up and followed him to the bar, passing the table of girls as they went.
“The brunette is giving you the eye.” Pooch nudged him. Jensen looked at him.
“What?”
“Okay, out with it.” Pooch demanded as they reached the bar “What’s wrong Jensen, and don’t tell me everything is fine coz I know you, and you’re not being you. You’ve been positively pleasant all evening and now when some chick is giving you the eye you don’t even notice?”
Jensen sighed, “I’m just a bit worried about Stel, man”
“Arty?” Pooch frowned, “What’s wrong with her? Is she ok? I though Evan was coming over to hers tonight?”
“He did. They had an argument, he left.” Jensen shrugged.
“They had an argum-wait? How do you know? Did she tell you? Coz I thought you weren’t on particularly good terms.”
“We sorted stuff out.” Jensen shook his head
“You were listening weren’t you?” Pooch rolled his eyes.
“That’s not the point.” Jensen shook his head and Pooch groaned having been given all the confirmation he needed “The point is what he said. And how he said it. He was angry, Pooch.”
“Everyone gets angry when they argue.”
“Yeah but he…I dunno, I don’t trust him.”
“Oh come on Jensen. Stop it. Enough with that shit. Stel is with him and she’s happy, face it.”
“He told her that he thinks she should stay away from me.” Jensen looked at Pooch. “Does that not strike you as, well, controlling?”
Pooch looked at Jensen and could see on his face that he was genuinely concerned.
“Ok, start from the top.” Pooch instructed, so Jensen did, explaining and Pooch took a deep breath “So now you’re worried he could be manipulating her?”
“I'm worried he’s not everything he’s cracked up to be.” Jensen replied after a short pause “And that she could end up hurt. And I don’t mean merely emotionally.”
“Woah, man that’s…that’s a big leap.” Pooch looked at him, before he turned to the bar tender and ordered their round, before looking back at him. “From being a little narky and, ok, possibly maybe slightly overbearing to being a fuckin’ woman beater.”
“Maybe.” Jensen sighed, “But isn’t it always the one’s you don’t expect to do it that do?”
At that Pooch was forced to accept Jensen made a good point and he bit his lip, cocking his head to once side. “Ok, suppose you heard right and the guy’s dodgy so to speak. What you wanna do about it?”
“I suppose I could do some digging.” Jensen mused “See if I can find any of his old girlfriends out there, see what they have to say.”
“Oh god, I don’t think I like where this is going.” Pooch groaned.
Jensen sighed, “I honestly have no idea Pooch. My gut was to tell Stella that I was concerned but knowing her she'll just accuse me of being a dick and it would just make it look like he was right about me.”
“Which he is.” Pooch snorted “You are jealous.”
“Yeah, well that's maybe but I'm being serious here Pooch. I don't trust the guy, and if she ends up hurt when I could have done something to stop it I'll never forgive myself.”
Pooch bit the inside of his cheek as he looked at Jensen, he could see the worry etched into every line on his friend’s face. With a loud sigh he shook his head, “Listen man, whatever you want to do I have your back. Wanna go all CSI on the guy? Then count me in. But do you and the rest of us for that matter a favour and admit to your feelings for her once and for all and do something about it or leave her be.”
Jensen snorted “You been talking to Clay, Pooch?”
“What? No.” Pooch handed over his card to pay for the round. “Why would you think that?”
“He just said something similar at New Years. That's all.” Jensen took a deep breath “This would never have happened if I hadn't been such an asshole.”
“That’s an understatement.”
“Not helping Pooch.”
“Listen man, we don’t need to talk to one another to see you have strong feelings for her. We all know that and we all have been putting up with your stupid ass decisions.”
“Still not helping Pooch.”
“Ok Jensen.” Pooch shrugged, taking his card back off the man behind the bar with a thanks. “You could always try actually talking to him? You never know, he might be genuinely-“
“Are you nuts? The guy hates me!” Jensen practically exploded “And suppose I am right, which I may not be, I know, it happens occasionally.” He shrugged as Pooch rolled his eyes “Not only do I tip him off I’m onto him, he’ll rush to tell Stel as soon as I turn my back. Make it seem I’m harassing him.”
“So instead you wanna track his old girlfriend’s down and go poking into his past?”
Jake flashed his signature grin.
“Coz thats not harassing him. At all.” Pooch rolled his eyes.
“It’s not if he doesn’t know I’m harassing him.” Jake shrugged and Pooch let out an exasperated moan of a laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“I already told you Jensen. Whatever you want man. Just...oh, I dunno, try not to fuck it up with your usual chaotic dumbassery.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Jensen shrugged as he picked up 2 of the bottles from the bar.
“Sure you don’t.”
******
Two more beers later and Jensen called it a night and headed home, he wasn’t in the mood all things considered. Kicking off his sneakers he plopped down on the couch and reached for the remote, flipping through the channels. But it was no good, he couldn’t concentrate. His mind was working overtime as he was trying to figure out what exactly he was going to do. It was frustrating, because normally he’d just talk to Stella, they never had secrets but this was completely out of the question, and that frustrated the fuck out of him.
His rambling thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door. Frowning, because that meant that either someone had gotten into the building or it was a resident, he stood up and made his way over to the door. He pulled it open and gave a little blink as he saw Stella stood there in a large, oversized sweater, leggings and thick socks, her hair pulled on top of her head in a messy bun, a batch of cookies in her hands.
“Oh, hey Stel.” He said, surprise evident in his voice “Come on in.”
She smiled as she stepped into his flat. “I thought you’d be out all night because Pooch said you were all out for drinks this evening. But I heard you come in so I came to bring you some cookies. After all you helped me with them, well, sort of.”
“Thanks Sel.” He smiled, genuinely as he took them from her “You want a drink or…”
“No, I’m good thanks.”
“Ok, well, go through, be with you in a second. I’ll just put these bad boys away.”
She nodded and turned, heading towards the lounge as Jensen made his way quickly into the kitchen and deposited the cookies in the tin, grabbing one as he did so. God they tasted just as good as they always did. He grabbed the empty container and headed into the lounge where Stella was sat on the couch and she smiled as he handed it to her.
“You ok?” he asked and she looked at him, nodding but Jensen could tell she wasn’t so he decided to call her out, see if she’d open up to him.
“You know, I've known you too long. You can't lie to me.”
She sighed.
“What’s bothering you, Stel?” he pressed as he sat next to her keeping a respectful distance of one seat cushion between them.
“Me and Ev, we err...had an argument before. Kind of a big one”
“How big?” Jensen asked, all the time knowing he had to play it cool or she would know he overheard.
“I… “ she fiddled with the sleeves of her sweater a little before she snorted “I sent him home big”
“Can I ask what you argued about? I mean if you sent him home it must have been pretty serious.”
Stella looked at him, clearly debating whether or not to tell him and then she sighed “He wanted to go out, I didn't. It spiralled from there.”
Jake took a deep breath as Stella looked at him having just told him a barefaced lie. What killed him the most was he knew she was doing it to spare his feelings, and he didn’t think he’d ever wanted to kiss her more. But he couldn’t, so instead he gave her a small nod and what he hoped was a sympathetic smile.
“Look, I'm sorry if any of it was my fault. And I'm sure you'll sort it out.”
“Yeah, I guess. In any case thanks for listening.”
Jake laughed “That it, we done?”
“Not much else to tell you. We fought, and maybe I overreacted to something he said. It’s just...” she studied his face and Jensen got the impression she was searching for some indication Evan was right about him being jealous. He fought so hard not to give her any, and in the end she shrugged “It doesn’t matter, it’s no big deal.”
“Big enough to make you upset though.”
“Well, it’s the first argument we’ve had.”
“Well you can drown your sorrows in pumpkin flavoured gin.” Jensen sniffed and at that she grimaced.
“Between you and me, I tried it before. It’s fucking awful.”
Jake laughed, “Then I guess Evan was right and you do taste better.”
“Jake!” Stella scoffed, slapping his arm.
“What? It was a compliment!”
“You're gross”
“Yeah but…”he smirked “…made you smile”
“Yeah, you do.” She looked at him, “I mean did. You know, just then…”
“I know.”
Stella gave him another soft smile “Thanks again, I should…” she gestured to the door with her head and Jake nodded.
“Walk you home?”
“I live across the hall.” She scoffed as she stood up
“Yeah but…” Jensen breathed in through his teeth as he also rose from his seat “Some dodgy people in this building Stel”
“Yeah, you're one of em.”
“Hey, you could be attacked by Mrs. Hunter’s Cat. You know it went for my ankle yesterday?” He looked at her seriously. “Like I said, snide little bastards. Cats are not to be trusted.”
“Alright then badass, you better see me safe across the hall.” She chuckled.
Jake followed her to the door where she turned and he wrapped his arms around her, giving her a soft hug. Pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of her head he stepped back and looked at her.
“You know where I am if you need me, don’t you?”
She nodded “Thanks. Night Jakey.”
“Night Stel.”
He watched her cross the hall, and when she walked inside she gave him a last smile before she shut the door.
Jensen exhaled loudly, before he turned and headed back into his own apartment, the door clicking behind him.
*****
Jensen didn’t sleep particularly well that night. His worries and concerns about Stella kept running through his mind and at six am he gave up, hauling himself out of bed for a run. On his way back he stopped by the bakery on the corner of the street to grab himself a croissant and a coffee and headed back to the condo, munching his breakfast. As he walked across the parking lot he spotted Evan’s car was parked outside the main door, the man himself sat inside, waiting.
And then all logic flew from Jensen’s mind. Fuck treading softly.
He stalked over and round to the passenger side, yanking it open and sinking into the seat besides Evan as the man looked at him, arching an eyebrow.
“S’up Agent E.” he smiled at him, taking another bite of his croissant. “You waiting for Stel?”
“Why else would I be here?”
Jensen shrugged “Maybe you like parking lots.”
Evan rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’m waiting for Stella.”
“Why not just use your spare key?” Jensen asked, taking a loud slurp of his coffee before he looked at Evan. “Wait, more to the point, why are you not up there? Did you not stay?” The nerve in Evan’s jaw twitched and Jensen grinned. “You guys aint had a fight have you?” When the agent didn’t reply Jake took a bite of his croissant. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“What do you want, Jensen?” Evan looked at him, his features dark and Jake knew the time for joking was done. He took a deep breath and shrugged.
“Honestly? For you to fuck off.”
“Oh I bet you do.” Evan narrowed his eyes, his voice low and Jensen snorted.
“Not much of a bet, I just admitted it but whatever.”
“Well unlucky for you I’m not going anywhere.”
“For now.” Jensen shrugged “She’ll see through you at some point.”
“Face it Jensen, you fucked up.” Evan shook his head “Now I’m warning you, stay away from her, and me, and leave us alone.”
Jensen took a deep breath. “Ok, I was trying to be polite but I’ll get straight to the point.”
“Please do.” Evan’s voice was loaded with sarcasm.
“I don’t like you, and I don’t trust you.” Jensen stated and Evan gave a huge guffaw of laughter, Jensen merely shook his head “Yeah, you might laugh but I swear to God you hurt her and I will fucking kill you slowly and painfully.”
“Is that supposed to scare me?” Evan asked.
“Yes.” Jensen said simply “You forget, I’m a lethal trained killing machine.” He shrugged “And then there’s Clay, and Roque, and Pooch and Cougs…you kick one of us, we all shout ouch, you get my drift.”
He saw a flicker of something that might have been concern on Evan’s faced but no sooner had he spotted it, it was gone and the Agent simply swallowed and fixed Jensen with a glare.
“What makes you so sure I’m going to hurt her?”
“Because when I mentioned it before, instead of protesting that you wouldn’t, you simply turned it back to being about you.” Jensen shrugged “Now if someone had said that to me, I’d be doing everything I could to try and convince them they were wrong.”
“I don’t have to justify myself to you.” Evan snorted, shaking his head.
“No, you don’t” Jake shrugged “But you will answer to me if you do hurt her, like I said, I’m watching you shithead.”
“You know, when Stella hears you’ve been threatening me…”
“We both know you’re not going to tell her.” Jake shook his head “I mean you’ve already argued once. And I’d lay odds on that being about me. So, are you really gonna push it again when you’re hanging on by a thread? Don’t think so buddy.”
He took another obnoxiously loud slurp of his coffee and there was a pause before Evan exploded. “Ok, I’ve had enough of this, get out of my fucking car!”
“Gladly.” Jensen nodded, scrunching up the wrapper his croissant had been in. He tossed it into the foot-well and looked at it for a second before he shrugged “This car is full of garbage anyway.” And with that he climbed out headed inside, not bothering to look back.
#too loose and you'll lose it#jake jensen#jake jensen x ofc#the losers#the losers fan fic#chris evans#chris evans characters
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Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Chapter 5: Bread Cat Power Pack Co-written with @icanfeelastormbrewing
Summary: Jake and Stella patch up their friendship, but Evan isn’t particularly happy about it.
Warnings: Bad Language words.
Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson.
A/N: We KNOW this is a slow burn but we promise things are going to heat up soon!!!
TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist
Chapter 4 Part 2

Stella stood at the trunk of the CIA issued Sedan, grimacing. It was the middle of January, cold and snowy, and she had a few bags of shopping to get back into her apartment. She was trying to figure out if she could make it upstairs with all of it at once, to prevent having to come back down, but was failing to see how it was possible.
“Needs some help?” a familiar voice asked and she turned to see Jake coming towards her, still in his uniform, his heavy boots leaving prints in the light, powdery dusting of fresh snow.
She smiled “Yeah, actually. You can grab a couple of these, save me coming back down.”
Jake looked in the trunk and scoffed “You stocking for winter, Stel?” he asked as he grabbed three of the bags.
She snorted “I literally have nothing in my cupboards.” She picked up the remaining two, locked the car and followed him to the main doors of the Condo building. “I’ve not really been here over the last two weeks so…” “I guess you’ve been spending time at your boyfriend’s huh?” Jake asked, his voice neutral as Stella managed to open the door.
“His name is Evan.” She rolled her eyes “And yeah, you could say that.”
Jake remained quiet as they strode to the elevator. Stella called it down and once the doors pinged open, they stepped inside and Jake placed the bags he was carrying down at his feet.
“So, I haven’t seen you since New Year.” Stella looked at him “How’s stuff going? You and Britney good?” “Yeah, erm, about that…” Jake cleared his throat a little as he selected their floor.
As the doors shut, Stella turned to look at him, frowning “Is there something wrong or…”
“That depends on who you ask.” Jake mused “If you ask her then yeah. She’ll probably tell you I’m a…what were her exact words? Oh right, a fucking asshole”
“What did you do?” Stella sighed and Jake grimaced, rubbing the back of his neck.
“I dumped her.”
Stella raised her eyebrows “Well speaking from experience, I can kinda see why she might be a little upset.”
Jake looked at her for a moment, deciding whether or not to respond to her little dig but in the end he didn’t get chance as the elevator stopped and opened on their floor. Jake picked up his bags and followed her across to her apartment. She set the bags she was carrying down, grabbed her key and the door swung open. Jake stepped in after her, nudging the door shut with his foot and instantly that familiar smell of vanilla, fresh laundry and the light tones of her perfume hit his senses. He hadn’t been in here for months. They made their way through to the little kitchen and she flipped on the lights, Jake dropping the bags onto the side.
“So are you ok about the pair of you being over or…” Stella turned to face him and Jake wrinkled his nose.
“Well, I wasn’t that into her. I mean, she was just…” he stopped and shrugged a little “I’m all right, yeah.”
Stella snorted, shaking her head “Wow.”
“Had to be honest with her.”
At that Stella couldn’t help the scoff that escaped her throat “That’s a first”
“Wow, that’s the second dig in the last 2 minutes.” Jake arched an eyebrow and Stella inwardly cursed herself. He’d done nothing to deserve either of the shots she’d taken, especially after he was being nothing but helpful
“Sorry, that was uncalled for.”
“Was it?” he asked.
There was a moment’s pause before they both spoke at the same time.
“Look, Jake, I don’t wanna…”
“I miss you Stel…you know, us hanging out.
The last bit of Jake’s sentence was added hastily and Stella took a deep breath.
“You’ve been a jerk to me recently, JJ”
“I know I fucked it all up.” He continued pleading his case “But I love you Stel, as friends, ya know?”
She studied him for a moment, and Jake held his breath before her eyes softened, the way they always did when she was coming round, and he exhaled slowly.
“Guess I miss you too.” She said quietly.
At her words Jake’s face split into a grin. “You guess or…”
“Don’t push it.”
He laughed, and on a roll he decided to see how far he could edge his luck. “I don’t suppose you’re free tonight, maybe grab a pizza, I got beer.”
Stella felt her face fall “Sorry JJ, Ev’s coming over.” and as she spoke she realised she actually was sorry. For a split second she considered calling Ev and cancelling, which in itself confused her. Why was she even thinking that? And then she realised, it was because she missed Jake. Despite everything, they’d been through too much for her not to care for him.
Jake nodded, “Okay, well, maybe another night?”
Stella blinked, she’d been expecting some sarcastic quip about Evan but none had come, which surprised her a little. That said, she smiled and nodded “Yeah I’d like that.”
Jake nodded “Right, I’ll err…let you unpack all that then and see you later I guess.”
“Yeah, great. Oh, and thanks.” She smiled “For helping me.”
“Well, you know me, I’m not one to leave a damsel in distress.” He winked. “I’ll see myself out.”
He made his way out of the apartment, closing her door behind him, taking a deep breath as he headed over the landing. Despite the setback about the pizza and beer, he felt good. The air was clearer, it was good progress, easy easy catch a monkey and all that.
He fished in his pocket for his keys and just as he was opening his door he heard hers open behind him.
“Look, I got a little while.” Stella spoke “I was gonna bake some cookies, you wanna help?”
Jensen allowed himself a grin before he turned to face her “You miss me already?”
“Don’t push it asswipe.” She shot back and he laughed.
“Gonna make extra dough so I can eat it?”
She rolled her eyes “Yes, dur.”
“Ok, gimme ten to change and I’ll come over.”
“Use your key.” She nodded, before she pulled her head back in her apartment and shut the door.
Jensen gave a little fist pump of victory as he stepped inside his hallway, smirking to himself “Operation Petunia is a go…”
**** After a quick shower, Jensen changed into a pair of grey sweats, a plain navy blue t-shirt and headed over the hall in his socks. As instructed, he let himself in and walked through to the kitchen, the sound of the radio growing louder as he went. He stopped in the doorway and watched as Stella stood with her back to him, dressed in a pair of leggings and an oversized white- slouchy vest top with a tighter cami underneath, rifling in a cupboard. He felt a sudden, nostalgic pang for the times she used to dress casually like that around their student quarters or back at home when they were slobbed in front of the TV at her Ma’s or his Parents. With a little breath, he coughed and she turned to face him, smiling before she nodded to the fridge.
“Make yourself useful and grab us a coupla’ beers will ya?”
He saluted her and she gave a snort as he headed to the fridge and pulled it open, giving a groan as he spotted the Sam Adams. Grabbing two, he popped the tops before he handed her one. She thanked him and continued pulling the ingredients she needed out of the cupboards, the pair of them falling into an easy, but still careful conversation. Stella cursed as she mumbled something about her digital scales running out of batteries and then retrieved the old faithful analogue ones.
“Why is it, when you need something, that’s always the time it’s gonna end up nor working?” she grumbled, setting the dial to zero carefully.
“One of life’s many mysteries Stel.” Jake said wisely as she began to measure the flour out. “Along with why cats always fall on their feet, snidey little bastards.”
Stella snorted, “Or why buttered bread always lands butter down when you drop it? Although I think there’s a scientific explanation to that.”
“There is.” Jake nodded, taking a drink from his beer “When the bread falls out of your hand, it does so at an angle, see, by nature of it having slipped from its previous position, and it rotates.” Jensen twisted his hand in the air to demonstrate his point “Given that it’s normally dropped from a hand or a table, which is like two feet or so, there’s enough time for the toast to rotate about one-half of a turn and thus it lands upside down relative to its original position and oh my God, I’ve just had a brainwave!” he trailed off, grinning
Stella looked at him, her mouth dropping open “What, hang on, back up!”
“No, listen. I just said a cat always lands on its feet right?”
Yeah.” Stella looked at him.
“And you said that bread with butter always falls butter side down?”
Stella’s eyes squinted in confusion. “Jake, what the fuck are you…”
“Just hear me out.” he looked at her as he placed his beer bottle on the side behind him. “If…” both his hands flew up, pointers extended, the bottom of his t-shirt riding up slightly as he did so “If you fastened bread with butter to a cat’s back, then the Cat will keep turning and never fall on the ground.”
Stella blinked and simply looked at him, the way she always did when he was being utterly ridiculous.
“And then, if I attached the bread cat to a generator…” he grinned and held his hands out by his sides, palms open facing upwards “Infinite energy.”
There was a pause before Stella bust out laughing.
“That is the dumbest thing I ever heard!” she shook her head “And that’s saying something coming from you!”
“You won’t be laughing when I’m a millionaire.” Jensen said sagely. “Bread Cat Power Pack, copyright Jacob Calvin Jensen.”
“The only way you’ll ever become a millionaire is if they give you a dollar every time someone laughs at your stupid, shit ideas.” She shook her head, her hands falling to her hips.
“Laugh all you want Stelly, but I’m planning on buying a yellow hummer with the profits.”
Stella paused. That was the first time he’d called her Stelly in…well, she couldn’t actually remember. But it felt nice. This whole scenario felt nice in fact, the pair of them, just hanging out. Just like old times, before it all went to shit.
She smiled “What is it with you and hummers?”
“I just like them.”
“They’re vile, JJ.”
“No, they aren’t. They’re classy.” He picked his beer back up.
“Classy.” Stella snorted and Jake pointed his bottle towards her.
“You never could appreciate the finer things in life.” he sighed dramatically.
“Considering I appreciated you for years that’s a dumbass thing to say.” she arched an eyebrow at him
“Aww you sayin’ I’m a finer thing, Stel?” he teased and she rolled her eyes, ignoring him.
“Why yellow?”
“Why not?” he popped a shoulder at her question before he grinned “It matches my sunny disposition.”
At that Stella gave another snort “God, Jake!”
Jensen simply grinned back and Stella watched him for a second, noticing how relaxed he seemed. Every time she’d seen him over the past month or so he’d been tense. But today, gone was the unusual sulky demeanour he’d embodied recently and he wasn’t snapping or being mean. He was simply being Jake. The Jake she adored.
“Hey, Stel?” Jake asked, dragging her from her thoughts. “Reckon we can make these cookies in the shape of Hummers?”
“Do you have a Hummer shaped cookie cutter?” she asked, turning her attention back to the job in hand, tossing the ingredients into the mixing bowl.
“No.” Jensen wrinkled his nose “Why would I have one of those?”
“Then that’s your answer.”
“Buzz kill.” He muttered, fighting to keep the smirk of his face as he knew exactly what effect those words would have on her. She hated it when he insinuated she was no fun.
“Buzz kill?” she turned to look at him.
“Yup.”
“Fuck you.” She retorted, and Jake gave a splutter as a handful of flour hit him straight in the face, going right up his nostrils and into his mouth.
He blinked, looked at Stella before he shook his head "Oh, Stel, it's on..." he smirked before he moved towards her and she gave a shriek as he easily manhandled her out of the way and grabbed the flour she was trying to move out of his reach. The kitchen filled with yells and laughter as handful after handful went flying around into faces, hair, just about any visible body part and suddenly they were jerked from their little flour war when a clearing of a throat could be heard. Both of them turned to see Evan standing in the kitchen door, a bouquet of bright flowers in one hand and a bottle of something in the other.
"How the fuck did you get in?” Jensen blurted out before he could stop himself and Stella punched him on the arm “Ow, Stell, shit!”
“Don’t be rude.” She glared at him.
“For your information,” Evan stated as he walked into the kitchen “, not that it’s any of your business, but Stel gave me the spare key.”
“Huh.” Jake looked at him before he grinned “I got one of those too.”
Evan looked at him, his eyes squinted slightly “Good for you.”
“Yeah, it is!” Jake continued, the grin still stood on his face.
The two men remained staring at one another, Jake covered head to toe in flour as Stella gave a little groan but before she could tell the pair of them to behave, Evan spoke.
“What’s all this mess?” he asked, nodding to the flour all over the room.
“Oh, we had a mission where we seized over Forty kilos of cocaine.” Jake spoke, his voice deadly serious “I thought I'd bring it round for a good time.”
At that point Stella gave a snort of laughter, nudging Jake hard on the arm, the pair of them giggling again before she spotted the look on Evan’s face. His features were completely serious and there was a flash of anger in his eyes. So she coughed and shook her head.
“I was trying to bake some cookies and Jakey was helping me, sort of.” She shrugged “He’s more of a pain in the ass than a help, mind.”
She didn’t miss the way Evan cringed when she called Jensen ‘Jakey’ but before she could say anything Jensen grumbled.
“Rude.”
“Well you are. You're a monumental pain in the ass” Stella rolled her eyes.
“Yeah but you love me Stel” Jake winked and Stella arched an eyebrow, folding her arms in cloud of flour.
“Jury's out”
“You know…” Evan spoke, his tone sarcastic as he set the bottle he was carrying on the kitchen side “..if i'm interrupting something I can leave.”
“Easy man! But yeah-“ Jensen flashed his trademark grin “You just interrupted us.”
Stella slapped him round the back of the head. “No, you didn’t.”
“Stop hitting me!” Jensen rubbed the place where her palm had connected.
“Well stop being a jerk!”
He turned to face her and sarcastic quip he had prepared died as he saw that she was no longer grinning at him.
“Shouldn’t you go and get cleaned?” Evan spoke and Jake looked at him, wrinkling his nose.
“I kinda like being dirty.”
Stella groaned again as she wiped her face and hands free from flour and then nodded to the bouquet Evan had in his hands “Are they for me?”
“No, I bought them for Jensen.” He dead panned with a roll of his eyes, before his handsome face split into a grin. “Course they're for you baby.”
Jensen watched as Stella smiled broadly and he took in the bunch of brightly coloured gerberas and roses, frowning a little. And then, once more he just couldn’t help but stir the pot at little bit more.
“Oh man. She hasn’t told you about her favourites, hasn’t she?” he nodded to the flowers. Evan frowned and Stella wheeled round to glare at Jake.
“Seriously Jake, shut up.”
“You should have brought her petunias.” Jensen sighed, his hands on his hips as she shook his head with the manner of a father disappointed at his child.
“Yeah, see you're talking but all I'm hearing is noise.” Evan rolled his eyes as Stella reached for the bouquet.
“I’ll put them in a vase. Thanks baby, they’re gorgeous” she beamed at him.
Jake couldn’t help but roll his eyes at the smug look on Evan’s face, most likely cos she just called him baby in front of him. But seriously, what kind of dick boyfriend doesn’t know what his girl’s favourite flowers are?
Evan then picked up the bottle he'd set on the side with a flourish and spun it so the label was facing Stella "I also saw this at one of the stalls at the market and it made me think of you."
Stella looked at him, not understanding for a moment, before she read the label and her eyes opened wide.
“Pumpkin spiced gin…oh my god!” she laughed, taking it from him.
Evan grinned “Now you can make alcoholic lattes.”
“Or just drink it neat over ice.” She smiled at him “I bet this tastes amazing.”
At that Evan smirked and when he spoke again his voice dropped an octave “Probably not as good as you but we’ll give it a go.”
At that Stella flushed and Jake gave an audible groan and then immediately wished he hadn’t as he’d given the dickhead everything he wanted. Evan turned to him with a maddeningly smug look on his face “Still here Jensen? Thought you were going.”
“You wish.” Jake mumbled, but thankfully neither of them heard him as Stella was studying the bottle label to try and hide her embarrassment. He took a deep breath, he knew he had to be careful not to make Stella pissed at him again. So, in a rare self-aware moment, he cleared his throat and spoke a little louder “Well as riveting as chatting with you is, Ev, you're right. I got stuff to do, you know, places to go, people to see..."
“Yeah, sure you do.” Evan replied flippantly “Tell Britney I said hi.”
“Ev, don’t.” Stella shook her head and Evan frowned, turning to her.
“What, I’m not…”
“It’s ok Stelly, he didn't know.” Jensen hid the little smile that was threatening to creep onto his lips at the flinch Evan had made when he used Stella’s old nickname and he gave a shrug. “We broke up.”
“You broke up?” Evan repeated, his face blank. “I’m sorry man.”
“Don’t be.” Jake waved a hand. “Actually it was me who broke it off.”
“Well, still, you must be a little bit...upset, I suppose?”
“Nope.” Jake shook his head “What's got 2 thumbs and is free, single and ready to mingle?” he jerked his thumbs at himself. “This guy"
With that he pat Evan on his shoulder “See ya later.” and he made his way out of Stella’s apartment, closing door behind him. Once it was shoot he paused and took a deep breath.
Fuck that guy.
Up until him turning up they’d been having a great time, simply messing around in the kitchen like they used to. Mind you, it had been a good afternoon, the pair of them were back on even terms, so all in all…yeah, Jensen felt buoyed. With a little spring in his step he headed over the hall back to his apartment and straight to the fridge for a beer. As he popped the lid his phone pinged with a message from Pooch. He, Cougs and Roque were heading out for a few beers and Jake’s presence was apparently “not required but welcome.” Jensen smiled, he was in a good mood so, yeah, drinks!
He showered again to get rid of the flour, changed into a pair of jeans and a casual black sweater before he shrugged on his warm SuperDry coat and headed back out. As he passed Stella’s door on the way to the elevator he could hear her raised voice and instantly he felt his skin prickle. His Jakey Sense as Stella had jokingly dubbed it was tingling. He paused and moved closed to the doors and could hear her and Evan were arguing.
He shouldn’t listen, he knew that, but they were being so loud it was impossible not to. Plus, when all’s said and done he was also a nosey bastard.
“For fucks sake, Ev! You've been fine for the last twenty minutes, why are you brining this up now?”
“All I said was I wish you'd told me about the flowers! I've bought you bouquets before and you never mentioned petunias.”
Jake smirked a little as Stella groaned.
“It’s really not that big a deal!”
“Well apparently it is according to Jensen!” Evan shot back.
“So that's what this is about. It isn't the flowers at all is it? It's Jake” Stella responded, her voice agitated and Jake could completely picture her stood there, arms folded, glaring up at him. He’d seen it often enough himself.
“And what if it is?” Evan’s voice was equally as loud.
“Oh for fucks sake...he's my friend, my best friend.”
“And your EX, Stella!”
“Carry on this way and you will be as well!” Stella shot back and at that Jake felt his smirk grow even wider.
“Way to go Stel…” he mumbled to himself.
“What do you mean?” Evan’s voice was louder still “You hang out with your ex and I’m the problem?”
“No, the problem is you being all pissy about something that isn't really a big issue. Jake and I...” Stella sighed, “We have history, a lot of history. Even before we dated we were friends and it's been so shit recently when we haven't been talking and...” her voice was gathering in speed and Jensen could tell she was starting to get upset. He had heard it and seen it a thousand times before.
“And why do you think that is, Stel?” Evan’s voice was now quiet, but the tone was cold and threatening, and Jensen took a deep breath. He didn’t like the way this was going. “Come on, you can’t be that oblivious.” Stella didn’t reply, and Evan continued “See, you know I'm right. You were on bad terms because he was a jealous asshole, you said it yourself with the way he behaved when we had our first date in the coffee shop. And everyone knows he was only dating that Britney bint to try and piss you off. Even your own sister said that.”
Jensen could feel himself getting hot with anger at the way the bastard was using Rey against Stella, despite the fact Evan was completely right. As much as Jensen had denied it at the time, that was totally why he ended up with Brit. Call it a rebound, a stubborn attempt to prove to himself he didn’t need Stella, whatever. The core of it was always down to her.
“Huh, he aint actually as stupid as he looks.” Jensen muttered to himself.
“He wasn’t jealous.” Stella responded, her voice quiet “How could he be when he dumped me? Twice.”
At that Jensen bowed her head, the hurt in her voice was evident.
“Who knows what goes through his head or why he did that, I've no idea, but if you think he's over you then you're mistaken. And I don’t like it, Stella, not one bit.” Evan took a deep breath “I think you should stay away from him.”
Jensen felt his mouth drop open a little and he blinked, had he seriously just told her that? He waited with baited breath for Stella’s reply, which came a second or so later, in a tone he knew only too well, she’d had enough.
“You know what, I’m not in the mood for going out tonight.”
“Okay, well, let’s stay in then.” Evan’s tone suddenly flipped to the doting boyfriend again and Jensen frowned once more. This guy was unreal. “I can cook us something”
“Dumb bastard, take the hint.” Jensen grumbled as Stella audibly sighed. He could picture her, running her hand through her hair, pressing the heel of her palm to the space between her eyes.
“I need to get cleaned up and then sort out this mess.” She replied “I think it’s better if you go home.”
“Seriously?” Evan spoke with disbelief “You’re actually telling me to go?”
“Yeah.”
There was a pause “Fine.” Evan responded “I’ll leave you to it. You and Jensen can finish whatever it was you were doing.”
“We were making cookies.”
“Whatever, Stella. If you’re more interested in defending him than having dinner with me then, that’s you’re call.”
And then Jensen realised he needed to disappear before Evan came out and found him. He hastily made his way back to his apartment, and had just gotten inside when Stella’s door was wrenched open. So as not to attract attention to himself with the sound of the lock clicking, Jensen didn’t quite close his fully and stayed waiting for Evan to disappear. To Jensen’s horror he paused, looking directly at his door, before he looked back at Stella’s and then made his way to the elevator. After what seemed like an age it arrived and he stepped into it, the door pinging shut behind him.
Jensen felt bad, he really did. He hadn’t wanted Stella to be upset. But more over he felt uneasy. The way Evan had spoken to her, and directed the blame straight back onto her and then told her to stay away from him was manipulative, controlling almost.
And he didn’t like it one bit.
****
“Jensen, what’s with you man?” Roque asked, placing his empty bottle on the table. “You’re being uncharacteristically non-annoying tonight.”
Jensen rolled his eyes, “Nothing, I’m fine.”
He felt Pooch’s eyes on him and purposely ignored him, looking around the bar at anything and everything. His eyes fell momentarily on a table of girls some four or so down from theirs one of them bore a fleeting resemblance to Stella actually and he hastily looked away, glancing down at his beer. He necked the rest and set the empty bottle down.
“My round.” Pooch nodded as he stood up, his hand falling onto Jensen’s shoulder “Give me a hand man?”
“Sure.” Jake stood up and followed him to the bar, passing the table of girls as they went.
“The brunette is giving you the eye.” Pooch nudged him. Jensen looked at him.
“What?”
“Okay, out with it.” Pooch demanded as they reached the bar “What’s wrong Jensen, and don’t tell me everything is fine coz I know you, and you’re not being you. You’ve been positively pleasant all evening and now when some chick is giving you the eye you don’t even notice?”
Jensen sighed, “I’m just a bit worried about Stel, man”
“Arty?” Pooch frowned, “What’s wrong with her? Is she ok? I though Evan was coming over to hers tonight?”
“He did. They had an argument, he left.” Jensen shrugged.
“They had an argum-wait? How do you know? Did she tell you? Coz I thought you weren’t on particularly good terms.”
“We sorted stuff out.” Jensen shook his head
“You were listening weren’t you?” Pooch rolled his eyes.
“That’s not the point.” Jensen shook his head and Pooch groaned having been given all the confirmation he needed “The point is what he said. And how he said it. He was angry, Pooch.”
“Everyone gets angry when they argue.”
“Yeah but he…I dunno, I don’t trust him.”
“Oh come on Jensen. Stop it. Enough with that shit. Stel is with him and she’s happy, face it.”
“He told her that he thinks she should stay away from me.” Jensen looked at Pooch. “Does that not strike you as, well, controlling?”
Pooch looked at Jensen and could see on his face that he was genuinely concerned.
“Ok, start from the top.” Pooch instructed, so Jensen did, explaining and Pooch took a deep breath “So now you’re worried he could be manipulating her?”
“I'm worried he’s not everything he’s cracked up to be.” Jensen replied after a short pause “And that she could end up hurt. And I don’t mean merely emotionally.”
“Woah, man that’s…that’s a big leap.” Pooch looked at him, before he turned to the bar tender and ordered their round, before looking back at him. “From being a little narky and, ok, possibly maybe slightly overbearing to being a fuckin’ woman beater.”
“Maybe.” Jensen sighed, “But isn’t it always the one’s you don’t expect to do it that do?”
At that Pooch was forced to accept Jensen made a good point and he bit his lip, cocking his head to once side. “Ok, suppose you heard right and the guy’s dodgy so to speak. What you wanna do about it?”
“I suppose I could do some digging.” Jensen mused “See if I can find any of his old girlfriends out there, see what they have to say.”
“Oh god, I don’t think I like where this is going.” Pooch groaned.
Jensen sighed, “I honestly have no idea Pooch. My gut was to tell Stella that I was concerned but knowing her she'll just accuse me of being a dick and it would just make it look like he was right about me.”
“Which he is.” Pooch snorted “You are jealous.”
“Yeah, well that's maybe but I'm being serious here Pooch. I don't trust the guy, and if she ends up hurt when I could have done something to stop it I'll never forgive myself.”
Pooch bit the inside of his cheek as he looked at Jensen, he could see the worry etched into every line on his friend’s face. With a loud sigh he shook his head, “Listen man, whatever you want to do I have your back. Wanna go all CSI on the guy? Then count me in. But do you and the rest of us for that matter a favour and admit to your feelings for her once and for all and do something about it or leave her be.”
Jensen snorted “You been talking to Clay, Pooch?”
“What? No.” Pooch handed over his card to pay for the round. “Why would you think that?”
“He just said something similar at New Years. That's all.” Jensen took a deep breath “This would never have happened if I hadn't been such an asshole.”
“That’s an understatement.”
“Not helping Pooch.”
“Listen man, we don’t need to talk to one another to see you have strong feelings for her. We all know that and we all have been putting up with your stupid ass decisions.”
“Still not helping Pooch.”
“Ok Jensen.” Pooch shrugged, taking his card back off the man behind the bar with a thanks. “You could always try actually talking to him? You never know, he might be genuinely-“
“Are you nuts? The guy hates me!” Jensen practically exploded “And suppose I am right, which I may not be, I know, it happens occasionally.” He shrugged as Pooch rolled his eyes “Not only do I tip him off I’m onto him, he’ll rush to tell Stel as soon as I turn my back. Make it seem I’m harassing him.”
“So instead you wanna track his old girlfriend’s down and go poking into his past?”
Jake flashed his signature grin.
“Coz thats not harassing him. At all.” Pooch rolled his eyes.
“It’s not if he doesn’t know I’m harassing him.” Jake shrugged and Pooch let out an exasperated moan of a laugh. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“I already told you Jensen. Whatever you want man. Just...oh, I dunno, try not to fuck it up with your usual chaotic dumbassery.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about…” Jensen shrugged as he picked up 2 of the bottles from the bar.
“Sure you don’t.”
******
Two more beers later and Jensen called it a night and headed home, he wasn’t in the mood all things considered. Kicking off his sneakers he plopped down on the couch and reached for the remote, flipping through the channels. But it was no good, he couldn’t concentrate. His mind was working overtime as he was trying to figure out what exactly he was going to do. It was frustrating, because normally he’d just talk to Stella, they never had secrets but this was completely out of the question, and that frustrated the fuck out of him.
His rambling thoughts were interrupted by a knock on his door. Frowning, because that meant that either someone had gotten into the building or it was a resident, he stood up and made his way over to the door. He pulled it open and gave a little blink as he saw Stella stood there in a large, oversized sweater, leggings and thick socks, her hair pulled on top of her head in a messy bun, a batch of cookies in her hands.
“Oh, hey Stel.” He said, surprise evident in his voice “Come on in.”
She smiled as she stepped into his flat. “I thought you’d be out all night because Pooch said you were all out for drinks this evening. But I heard you come in so I came to bring you some cookies. After all you helped me with them, well, sort of.”
“Thanks Sel.” He smiled, genuinely as he took them from her “You want a drink or…”
“No, I’m good thanks.”
“Ok, well, go through, be with you in a second. I’ll just put these bad boys away.”
She nodded and turned, heading towards the lounge as Jensen made his way quickly into the kitchen and deposited the cookies in the tin, grabbing one as he did so. God they tasted just as good as they always did. He grabbed the empty container and headed into the lounge where Stella was sat on the couch and she smiled as he handed it to her.
“You ok?” he asked and she looked at him, nodding but Jensen could tell she wasn’t so he decided to call her out, see if she’d open up to him.
“You know, I've known you too long. You can't lie to me.”
She sighed.
“What’s bothering you, Stel?” he pressed as he sat next to her keeping a respectful distance of one seat cushion between them.
“Me and Ev, we err...had an argument before. Kind of a big one”
“How big?” Jensen asked, all the time knowing he had to play it cool or she would know he overheard.
“I… “ she fiddled with the sleeves of her sweater a little before she snorted “I sent him home big”
“Can I ask what you argued about? I mean if you sent him home it must have been pretty serious.”
Stella looked at him, clearly debating whether or not to tell him and then she sighed “He wanted to go out, I didn't. It spiralled from there.”
Jake took a deep breath as Stella looked at him having just told him a barefaced lie. What killed him the most was he knew she was doing it to spare his feelings, and he didn’t think he’d ever wanted to kiss her more. But he couldn’t, so instead he gave her a small nod and what he hoped was a sympathetic smile.
“Look, I'm sorry if any of it was my fault. And I'm sure you'll sort it out.”
“Yeah, I guess. In any case thanks for listening.”
Jake laughed “That it, we done?”
“Not much else to tell you. We fought, and maybe I overreacted to something he said. It’s just...” she studied his face and Jensen got the impression she was searching for some indication Evan was right about him being jealous. He fought so hard not to give her any, and in the end she shrugged “It doesn’t matter, it’s no big deal.”
“Big enough to make you upset though.”
“Well, it’s the first argument we’ve had.”
“Well you can drown your sorrows in pumpkin flavoured gin.” Jensen sniffed and at that she grimaced.
“Between you and me, I tried it before. It’s fucking awful.”
Jake laughed, “Then I guess Evan was right and you do taste better.”
“Jake!” Stella scoffed, slapping his arm.
“What? It was a compliment!”
“You're gross”
“Yeah but…”he smirked “…made you smile”
“Yeah, you do.” She looked at him, “I mean did. You know, just then…”
“I know.”
Stella gave him another soft smile “Thanks again, I should…” she gestured to the door with her head and Jake nodded.
“Walk you home?”
“I live across the hall.” She scoffed as she stood up
“Yeah but…” Jensen breathed in through his teeth as he also rose from his seat “Some dodgy people in this building Stel”
“Yeah, you're one of em.”
“Hey, you could be attacked by Mrs. Hunter’s Cat. You know it went for my ankle yesterday?” He looked at her seriously. “Like I said, snide little bastards. Cats are not to be trusted.”
“Alright then badass, you better see me safe across the hall.” She chuckled.
Jake followed her to the door where she turned and he wrapped his arms around her, giving her a soft hug. Pressing a gentle kiss to the crown of her head he stepped back and looked at her.
“You know where I am if you need me, don’t you?”
She nodded “Thanks. Night Jakey.”
“Night Stel.”
He watched her cross the hall, and when she walked inside she gave him a last smile before she shut the door.
Jensen exhaled loudly, before he turned and headed back into his own apartment, the door clicking behind him.
*****
Jensen didn’t sleep particularly well that night. His worries and concerns about Stella kept running through his mind and at six am he gave up, hauling himself out of bed for a run. On his way back he stopped by the bakery on the corner of the street to grab himself a croissant and a coffee and headed back to the condo, munching his breakfast. As he walked across the parking lot he spotted Evan’s car was parked outside the main door, the man himself sat inside, waiting.
And then all logic flew from Jensen’s mind. Fuck treading softly.
He stalked over and round to the passenger side, yanking it open and sinking into the seat besides Evan as the man looked at him, arching an eyebrow.
“S’up Agent E.” he smiled at him, taking another bite of his croissant. “You waiting for Stel?”
“Why else would I be here?”
Jensen shrugged “Maybe you like parking lots.”
Evan rolled his eyes. “Yes, I’m waiting for Stella.”
“Why not just use your spare key?” Jensen asked, taking a loud slurp of his coffee before he looked at Evan. “Wait, more to the point, why are you not up there? Did you not stay?” The nerve in Evan’s jaw twitched and Jensen grinned. “You guys aint had a fight have you?” When the agent didn’t reply Jake took a bite of his croissant. “I’ll take that as a yes.”
“What do you want, Jensen?” Evan looked at him, his features dark and Jake knew the time for joking was done. He took a deep breath and shrugged.
“Honestly? For you to fuck off.”
“Oh I bet you do.” Evan narrowed his eyes, his voice low and Jensen snorted.
“Not much of a bet, I just admitted it but whatever.”
“Well unlucky for you I’m not going anywhere.”
“For now.” Jensen shrugged “She’ll see through you at some point.”
“Face it Jensen, you fucked up.” Evan shook his head “Now I’m warning you, stay away from her, and me, and leave us alone.”
Jensen took a deep breath. “Ok, I was trying to be polite but I’ll get straight to the point.”
“Please do.” Evan’s voice was loaded with sarcasm.
“I don’t like you, and I don’t trust you.” Jensen stated and Evan gave a huge guffaw of laughter, Jensen merely shook his head “Yeah, you might laugh but I swear to God you hurt her and I will fucking kill you slowly and painfully.”
“Is that supposed to scare me?” Evan asked.
“Yes.” Jensen said simply “You forget, I’m a lethal trained killing machine.” He shrugged “And then there’s Clay, and Roque, and Pooch and Cougs…you kick one of us, we all shout ouch, you get my drift.”
He saw a flicker of something that might have been concern on Evan’s faced but no sooner had he spotted it, it was gone and the Agent simply swallowed and fixed Jensen with a glare.
“What makes you so sure I’m going to hurt her?”
“Because when I mentioned it before, instead of protesting that you wouldn’t, you simply turned it back to being about you.” Jensen shrugged “Now if someone had said that to me, I’d be doing everything I could to try and convince them they were wrong.”
“I don’t have to justify myself to you.” Evan snorted, shaking his head.
“No, you don’t” Jake shrugged “But you will answer to me if you do hurt her, like I said, I’m watching you shithead.”
“You know, when Stella hears you’ve been threatening me…”
“We both know you’re not going to tell her.” Jake shook his head “I mean you’ve already argued once. And I’d lay odds on that being about me. So, are you really gonna push it again when you’re hanging on by a thread? Don’t think so buddy.”
He took another obnoxiously loud slurp of his coffee and there was a pause before Evan exploded. “Ok, I’ve had enough of this, get out of my fucking car!”
“Gladly.” Jensen nodded, scrunching up the wrapper his croissant had been in. He tossed it into the foot-well and looked at it for a second before he shrugged “This car is full of garbage anyway.” And with that he climbed out headed inside, not bothering to look back.
**** Chapter 6
#too loose and you'll lose it#jake jensen#jake jensen x ofc#jake jensen x original female character#the losers
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How would our boys react to their love cooking them dinner that turned out really disgusting? Who would be honest and who would fake it?
Lol ok this is a super old prompt and I am so sorry for that. But I’ve been promised a reward if I finish something so.
Alright, the way I see it there are three potential reactions here:
First we have the Fakers who won’t ever drop the facade.
You had been seeing Marcus for a few weeks and you had agreed to keep it casual, he told you he has gotten out of a pretty serious relationship not too long ago and she had broken his heart. It was flu season in DC and he was bundled up in bed for the second day in a row and you felt terrible for him. You weren’t the greatest cook in the world but you figured chicken noodle soup was easy enough that should couldn’t possibly fuck it up. You were wrong. You were about to toss it and call GrubHub when Marcus shuffled into the kitchen looking pathetic and handsome and stuck a spoon into the pot and into his mouth before you could warn him off it. It must be special FBI training that allowed him to keep the disgust off his face. “Go on, say it, it’s terrible, I really wanted to make you something, but apparently even this is beyond me,” you explain with a frown. He shakes his head and attempts a smile. “No, it’s really good! I love it!” He eats another spoonful and isn’t quite as successful at keeping the grimace off his face. You laugh, “it’s awful, just admit it.” He hugs you to his side and puts the spoon carefully in the sink. “It was great, I’m just you know, not really that hungry.”
Catfish eats your attempt at dish his mother made for the two of you last Christmas with a completely straight face. And manages to eat his entire portion as you stare at him in disbelief, your plate completely ignored. “This is disgusting, how did you choke that down?” He shrugs and pushes his empty plate away. “It was good, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You blink at him. “Fish, that was vile, I know eating army food for decades must have ruined your taste buds, but I can’t believe the damage is this extensive.” He smiles and shrugs. You narrow your eyes at him. “Fine, if this was so great, have mine.” You see the look of panic in his eyes before he sighs, resigned, and actually starts to eat the rest of that terrible dinner you just made.
Then there are the Fakers who pretty quickly break and admit that was pretty terrible.
Max to his credit is very polite when he tells you that it’s “a shame he’s on an all liquid diet now” because that looks delicious. And holds that face for an entire minute before breaking and admitting with a grin, pressing a kiss to your temple, that his sense of smell is about four times better than a bloodhound’s and that whatever that is it smells truly awful.
Ezra tries to assure you that it isn’t burnt too terribly, really, just a little singed, completely edible, truly. His diction becomes more and more flowery and complimentary the longer you stare at the black piece of meat in front of you. He trails off when even he can no longer find reassuring words and sighs, shoulders slumping. “Alright, it does look like the desiccated husk of a beetle, but it’s the thought that really counts my dear.”
Oberyn manages one bite, one compliment that the most gullible child could see through, and when you attempt to call him out on his obvious bullshit, he attempts a tried and true Prince of Dorne tactic and tries to distract you with sex. One hand is around the back of your head, his face buried between your breasts, and his other hand is drifting into your small clothes when you manage to gasp, “admit it, that soup was disgusting.” Oberyn mumbles something and pinches your clit gently. You shudder. “What did you say?” He lifts his head from your breasts and repeats with an irresistible grin, “My apologies, lady, I can’t possibly answer you when I’m otherwise occupied.” And he bends his head to nip sharply at your neck.
Whiskey laughs when you present the loaf of bread you had made to him. You frown at him and he immediately sobers. “Well, I’m sure it’s... delicious!” He rips off a piece and shoves it in his mouth, chewing for a lot longer than any piece of bread should require. Eventually he manages to swallow it and gives you a shaky smile. “Sugar, that was wonderful. Absolutely delicious.” The two of you stare at each other for a few seconds before you crack and start snickering, Whiskey soon following. You toss the loaf onto the counter next to him and climb into his lap taking his face in your hands. “I can’t believe you actually ate that.” He grimaces. “Neither can I sweetheart, it looked like Texas and tasted about what Texas dirt tastes like too.” You laugh and kiss the tip of his nose.
Din returns the plate to you, suspiciously empty. You know how bad it was, you had to eat it too, and so you’re skeptical when he says that he enjoyed it. He’s glad that you can’t see his face through his helmet when you ask him again- but even through that barrier he’s unable to deceive you for long. He sighs at the frown on your face and admits that the baby ate it. “But he really seemed to like it!” You roll your eyes. “Thanks. The baby who eats frogs live really liked that dinner. How lovely.”
Aaaaand the Boys that flat out tell you that was Not Good
Maxwell refuses to try it. Loudly. Repeatedly. Accuses you of attempting to poison him so you can have all his money to yourself. “You could pay me a million dollars and I still wouldn’t put that in my mouth,” he declares, arms crossed over his chest, smirk on his face. “Baby, you already have a million dollars, that’s not much of an incentive.” He cocks an eyebrow at you. “The sentiment still stands. You could offer to blow me continuously for the rest of my life and I still wouldn’t eat whatever that is.” You snort and roll your eyes. “Alright you big baby, where would you like to go out for dinner.”
Tovar eats the whole thing. And doesn’t make a face or say a word. Until you ask him how he liked the meat pie. He meets your eyes directly and tells you honestly that he’s tasted better food eight weeks into a siege. You scoff. “Then why did you eat the whole thing?” He shrugs and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “Because you made it for me and it’s wrong to waste food.” Your heart melts a little as he gets up and kisses your fingers softly, a twinkle in his eyes. “Even if I’ve eaten boiled boots that tasted better.” You gasp and smack his chest as he laughs.
Liam at least tastes it. And manages to swallow most of it. But then looks up at you with his serious brown eyes and tells you that he’s been poisoned before and it had tasted better. You start to laugh before you realize he’s entirely serious. You grab his fork and take a bite of it yourself and don’t manage to swallow any of it. “I think that may actually *be* poison,” you cough, trying to wipe the taste of it off your tongue.
Javier sticks his nose in the oven and nearly smacks his head against the top trying to get away from it as fast as he can. He won’t meet you eyes as he closes the door carefully and back away from the appliance. Finally he looks up and you see how hard he’s trying not to laugh, pretty lips pressed tight and dark eyes dancing in the late afternoon sun. He shrugs and can’t hold back his smile any longer. “You can’t be good at everything, princessa.” You sigh, acknowledging how terrible that chicken turned out. He chucks you under your chin and beats a retreat from the kitchen and your “creation”. “Let’s leave the cooking to the professionals from now on, yeah?”
Dave stares at the oven suspiciously from the doorway. You don’t blame him, you were in the kitchen for the entire dinner making process and even you weren’t entirely sure what was bubbling on the stove top. He takes a step back, a smile creasing his handsome face, hands up in surrender. “You know what. I think I might have some MRE’s in the basement still, I think I’ll just try my luck with those.” You roll your eyes and drag the garbage can over to you.
#ask and ye shall recieve#hcs#imagines#writing#pedro pascal#dave york#javier peña#liam#maxwell lord#tovar#din djarin#the mandalorian#agent whiskey#jack daniels#oberyn martell#ezra#max phillips#catfish#frankie morales#francisco morales#marcus pike#the boys
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Tinderbox, pt 19
Chapter masterlist here
Marshall thanked Christie and made his way out of the deli, stopping to say goodbye to Rosie. She waved to an old couple who complimented the day’s special before turning to him, her tumble of hair looped in a ponytail through her deli-logo ball cap.
“Arlo, huh?” she asked, but her tone was nervous.
“He isn’t involved, Rosie. He did what any teenage boy would do - took fifty dollars to drop the gift to you.”
Her shoulders relaxed. “Okay.”
“So,” he began as the deli bustled around them, “Tonight. I, ah…. I don’t think you should be alone.”
Colour infused her cheeks. “Actually I don’t want to be alone. I could ask Christie if-”
“Stay with me? I’ll have Faye tonight, but she’s actually really stoked to meet you.”
Rosie’s eyes widened for a second. “She is?”
“She is. Although she reiterated that she doesn’t share food.”
Her lips curved, and the urge to kiss her ran through his veins like wildfire. “Smart girl.”
“We’ll pick you up at seven, then?”
“Perfect.” She looked as if she was about to lift her face for a kiss, but a customer waved her over with a request for a coffee top up. “See you later, Walt.”
It was the first time she’d shortened his name, and he liked it.
He hadn’t taken three steps out of the door when Arlo appeared beside him. Marshall folded his arms over his chest and leaned against the outer brick wall of the deli. “Uh huh?”
“Uh, Sir.” Arlo’s face flushed red, his backpack hung on one shoulder. “You don’t have to tell Rosie, do you? About the….. Er….”
“Poetry?” Marshall prompted, hiding his amusement.
“Yeah,” Arlo mumbled, staring at the ground.
Marshall put him out of his misery. “I’m pretty sure it’s against the bro code. I won’t say anything.”
Arlo’s eyebrows shot into his hairline and he nodded. “Thanks, uh, Sir.” He turned away as fast as his legs would carry him, no attempt at the cool teenage slouch Marshall had seen him adopt previously.
*****
DAHLIA: How are you, babe? Not heard from you for a hot minute.
ROSIE: Well….. I’ve met someone.
DAHLIA: Holy shit!
DAHLIA: What’s he like? I want to know everything about him. How tall is he? What colour is his hair? Have you seen inside his pants?
ROSIE: Lovely. A bit grumpy on the surface but sweet inside. He’s very tall. Brown hair. And yes, I have.
DAHLIA: Oh my gawd.
DAHLIA: By the way, you haven’t seen Dylan around have you? It’s a big city so I guess probably not. But his old schoolteacher’s mom said he’d left for NYC.
DAHLIA: You ok?
DAHLIA: Meanwhile, back at the ranch….
DAHLIA: OK, you didn’t even laugh. I can tell even from here. Maybe I should come visit?
*****
Rosie fidgeted by the door of her apartment. She’d packed an overnight bag, changed Salami’s litter tray, ensured his dispenser was full of enough food to last until tomorrow mid morning. She glanced around her apartment, once her sanctuary. True, Dylan - if indeed Whiskers was Dylan - hadn’t crossed the threshold, but he knew where she lived, and that was bad enough.
The buzzer rang and she almost jumped off her feet. Drawing in a deep breath, she shook her head. “Calm down.” Five in, five out.
She pressed the intercom button. “Hello?”
“Hey, sweetheart,” Marshall’s voice came clear through the speaker. “Your chariot awaits.”
“Be right down.” Rosie bent to drop a kiss to Salami’s head where the cat curled up on her painting table, eyes closed, tail flicking lazily.
She locked up behind her, the heels of her boots clicking on the stairs. The weather was getting warmer by slow degrees, but Winter’s teeth hadn’t been blunted yet, and she wrapped her scarf tighter as she pressed the door release.
Marshall stood outside in his thick black parka, the hood down. The wind teased errants curls of his thick, dark hair . Next to him, her hands in her pockets, waited the teenage girl from Marshall’s wallet picture, her hair hidden by the purple hood of her winter jacket, an expression of wariness and hope on her adolescent face.
“Hi,” Rosie ventured. “You must be Faye.”
“And you’re Rosie,” Faye replied, her tone neutral. “Dad says you’re staying with us tonight.”
Rosie glanced up at Marshall. “If that’s okay.”
Faye smiled shyly. “Well, we get to have double garlic bread because you’re coming for dinner.”
“I love garlic bread,” Rosie admitted.
“Me too!” Faye squealed, but then dropped her expression into the teenage ambivalence Rosie knew very well from when she’d been that age. “I mean, everyone loves garlic bread.”
“Come on, you two,” Marshall interrupted, rolling his eyes good naturedly. “I’d better get cooking.”
Rosie followed them into the car. Faye took the front seat next to her dad, and Rosie was happy to get in the back.
Marshall navigated the truck across the city and within twenty minutes they pulled up outside a tall brownstone. The end of its terrace, two big roman-style pillars flanked the entryway and a Victorian style lamp glowed on the wall above the buzzer panel.
Tapping in the code, Marshall let them in, first through the main door, and then into his ground floor apartment.
The living space was bigger than Rosie had expected, breezy and open plan. He’d been right though - no soul. The kitchen looked like it wasn’t often cooked in. The fridge held a selection of takeout menus and some polaroids of Faye, stuck up with magnets. Plain drapes lined the big picture window, and on the coffee table lay an official looking folder, likely full of police work.
“Dad’s place needs work,” Faye said shortly. She opened the fridge and took out a carton of orange juice. “You want some?”
“Sure.” Rosie shrugged off her coat and Marshall hung it with his own.
Faye set out three glasses and sniffed the juice before pouring. Beside her, Marshall started assembling the ingredients for lasagne and pulled frozen garlic baguettes from his small freezer compartment.
“What can I do?” Rosie asked as Faye shrugged her coat off and tossed it on the sofa.
“Dad and I usually cook together,” Faye replied from across the room, but then added, “how about you chop the herbs?”
The teenager set up her phone as a speaker and played some bubbly pop music as the aroma of cooking meat filled the space. Marshall asked Faye questions about her friends and her day as he measured out pasta sheets, and before long the dish was set in the oven, the aroma making Rosie’s stomach clench in hunger.
Marshall plated up the garlic bread and Faye practically vibrated next to him as he carried the dish to the table.
She snatched up a piece and tossed it from hand to hand. Rosie laughed at her antics. “A girl after my own heart.”
“So is it serious with you and my Dad?” Faye asked after chewing a mouthful of garlicky baguette.
“Faye,” Marshall growled.
“No, it’s okay,” Rosie allowed. “I care about your Dad very much, Faye. And to answer your question, I believe it is serious.”
Faye looked to her father for confirmation of this.
Marshall nodded. “I’m serious about Rosie. She makes me happy.”
For a second Faye looked from her father to Rosie and back again, as if deciding something. Then she smiled shyly.
“You’re happy?” she asked Marshall.
He hesitated. “Yes…?”
“So can I stay up late tonight? And can I pick the movie?”
Marshall looked at Rosie over Faye’s head, and his expression said I think we’re going to be fine.
As always thanking my beta, @ly-canthrope
Tagging: @geralt-of-baevia @hopelessromanticspoonie @just-the-hiddles @omgkatinka @dr-kayleigh-dh @cavillhavoc @princess-of-riviaa @mrsaugustwalker @dancingwendigo @littlefreya @andahugaroundtheneck @trippedmetaldetector @captain-rogers-beard @xocali @peakygroupie @rayofdawnworld @pinkzsugar @promptandpros @mitzwinchester @wanderinglunarnights @brokenthelovely @ravenpuff02 @screamingrennergasm @mary-ann84 @agniavateira @ayamenimthiriel @stxphmxlls @alyxkbrl @penwieldingdreamer @radaofrivia @thethirstyarchive @raspberrydreamclouds
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Ok so these were the cutest~ (ㆁωㆁ)
4, 6, 7, 9, 12, 19, 22, 23, 28, 33, 34, 46, 47, 52, 59, 60, 63, 66, 83, 87, 88, 93, 99
I kno I listed like....all of them lmao but feel free to answer whichever you want and ofc you can ask me in return Baybe ( ◜‿◝ )♡
uHUHUHUHU much content for me to answer, im happy bebe 💜💜💜✨
4 - how do you take your coffee/tea?
hm coffee either Very Black No Sugar (for the sleep deprived me) or iced latte three sugars and theres no in between
and as for tea its All Black Teas That Exist, cinnamon-flavoured especially (but basically all teas that come to mind when u think “autumn”), and rooibos!!! okay basically the only oke i dont like is any type of green tea (which is sad because they look cool but my tastebuds said ✨no✨)
6 - do you keep plants?
honestly id l o v e too because i love plants but,,, im kinda horrible at taking care of them though still way better than the majority of my family (research helps) so the only plant i own is kinda a small-palm-tree-looking thing in a bigass glass jar that i saved from my mother’s plant-destructing hands and its mostly doing well (the ends of its leaves are starting to be yellow tho and im worried:((( )
7 - do you name your plants?
yes!!! though the current one was named by my sister and its called “pickett” after fantastic beasts shsjjsj
9 - do you like singing/humming to yourself?
oh god oh dude you have n o idea
i have absolutely n o singing voice but its something i do constantly to give my brain the right amount of stimuli so basically i listen to music 24/7 and hum to myself 99% of that time
12 - whats your favourite planet?
oh i actually didnt think about this for so long but either pluto (hes a planet screw nasa) or saturn (RINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!) or venus (girls,,,and libra,,,)
19 - do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw in it?
okay im gonna be completely honest with yall and say that my every single try at keeping a journal failed spectacularly and i lost motivation after like a few months so my only journals rn are my fancy fake-leather-bound calendar to note tests and assessments into, a kinda roughed up notebook that i uses for noting down poems or scribbling or passing notes in class, and a kinda fancy bullet journal notebook that i used as a book of shadows for a while but since my fountain pen died i didnt touch it
22 - are you a morning person?
n o
i am so not a morning person but i wish i could be because honestly dawns are beautiful
but as it is rn im either sleep deprived all the time and loathe every second of being in an awake state or (if i have a few days of schoolbreak) my biological clock moves forward a few hours and i sleep 2am-10am
23 - whats your favourite thing to do on lazy days with zero obligations?
except for the fact that i dont remember the last time it happened, i would probably spend it drawing outside, watching anime with my sister and riding a bike around the forest
28 - sunrise or sunset?
i love sunrises because its so peaceful and everyone is asleep but also i subconsciously immediately correlate them with waiting for a train to take me to school (because thats basically the only time i see them) so its a bittersweet love especially with my fucked up biological clock
but sunsets are really really pretty too and i see them more often so i cant choose
33 - whats your fave pastry?
and isnt that a millior-dollar question dhsjjsjsj
either cinnamon rolls (i absolutely adore them) or that one specific type of cupcake-shaped-thing made out of shortcrust/bread/whatever its called and filled with vanilla pudding
34 - tell us about a stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?
awwww this is cute
okay so basically my two favourite stuffed animals (i still have them, they sit in my wardrobe) were two teddy bears (like maybe 20cm high each of them) and one was pure brown and the other was silver-brown and they had stereotypical polish male names “Waldek” (read. Valdek) and Stefan (i think tho im not sure if i remember correctly, my memory is a feeble thing sometimes
46 - tell us the worst pun you can think of
what dog would never bite you? a hot dog *badumtss*
47 - what food do you think should be banned from the universe?
huh a year ago id say pineapple pizza but i guess i dont hate pineapples that much anymore (tho putting them on pizza is still an abomination) but i think that if id ever want to get rid of anything it would be parsley, i hate that freakin herb (does it count as food tho)
52 - what are your favourite memes of the year so far?
the ever given for sure shsjshjsjsjsjjsj
but bullying tramp stamps is gold and pure tumblr energy too
as for fandom memes: im in love with all keeping-up-with-the-todorokis variations and the fact that the entire bsd fandom looked at fukuchi and said “biTCH” and thats one of the only things we’re unanimous about
59 - whats your favourite myth?
i always liked the kora/persephone myth (though demeter is an overbearing parent to the nth power), loki and thor crossdressing at a party to get mjolnir back, atalanta because shes a queen and id politely ask her to kick my ass, and cassandra because she deserved better, and theres a l o t more because alas i was a mythology nerd but this post is long enough for me not to make this section 20 times longer sjjsjsjsjsjks
but there are a lot of slavic myths that are very cool too, though we dont know that much about them as about the greeks for example
60 - do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?
o o o o h yeah i do like poetry because to create such a beautifully sounding thing with only words someone has to be a genius
some of my favs are: some works of nakahara chuuya (thank u bsd for introducing me to this man’s beautiful imagery in his works i swear to god the descriptions do it for me) (also his poem about having hangovers is a mood like i feel you buddy), the raven by ea poe (i know everyone likes it but hOLY DAMN THE INTER/INTRAVERSE RHYMES ARE LIKE,,, BREATHTAKING) (and aso im a slut for gothic horror), and many more but also That One Poem From Welcome To Nightvale about reaching the island in the west,,, only perfect vibes from it
63 - are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organised or kinda leave them be?
okay heres the thing. for anyone else both my playlist library and my bookshelf would be considered pure chaos of a mad man b u t they actually have a highly focused system which means that i sort them based on their vibes, lovability and (in case of books) their age and whether or not theyre a part of a series so i would say my bookshelf is rather organised (when a quarter of it isnt occupying my desk that is) and my music is more organised than not but sometimes it gets out of control and i have to sort it entirely again
66 - what would your ideal flower crown look like?
either entirely constructed of simple white daisies, entirely constructed of only white roses, or something that probably would win a “how many different coloured flowers can one fit in a flower crown” competition
or something purple (maybe not belladonna)
83 - whats some of your favourite album art?
god i dont know if it counts but hozier’s wasteland baby is probably one of my absolute favourites and no one shall beat that
“thrifted youth” (dalynn) and “standard deviation” (danny schmidt) have very aesthetic covers too
also the iconic p!atd too weird to live, too rare to die! album cover,,, its just iconic what can i say
and last but not least matt meason’s pink-and-black album covers (though bank on the funeral is really pretty too but like,,, “who killed matt meason” d o e s it for me and so does the 2017 tribulation single)
87 - what are some movies that you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?
this is such a hard question because im not a really cinematography-oriented gal but i suppose that (at the risk of not going deep enough into the cinema world):
- the princess bride
- inception
- night at the museum
- SPIRITED AWAY
- forrest gump
- truman show
- E.T. (i cried okay)
- the lord of the rings (because damn me if this isnt one impressive adaptation)
- parasite
and one more personal recommendation: “ready or not” with samara weaving because goddamn i dont usually watch this genre but holy s h i t is it good
93 - whats the hairstyle you wear the most?
honestly just plain hair down (because having curly hair is a menace), split in the middle when i have longer hair and split on one side when its short
also low ponytails or half-up-half-down when im exercising, or double french braids when my hair doesnt cooperate enough to look presentable in any other form
99 - list some songs that resonate with your soul whenever you hear them
this is difficult because my music taste is a goddamn rollercoaster on a good day, but heres some:
- me and the sky from “come from away” musical (this is sort of a test song for my mental stability, if i cry i aint stable)
- dancing after death by matt meason (okay most songs by matt meason except for like,,, hallucinogenics maybe)
- tears and rain by james blunt
- i will follow you into the dark by death cab for cutie
- almost home by mxmtoon
- anything by hozier really but shrike especially
- payphone, the cover by alex g (i cried to this song so many times)
- burning pile by mother mother (can i roast all my problems please)
- long way from home and cleopatra by the lumineers
- autoclave by the mountain goats
oooh that was c o o o o o o o l as fuck thank you sm so much bebe (and sorry for the long post @everyone else)
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Revolution, Part 3
by katefiction (Maria) / 2014
A steaming cup of tea appeared beside me. I leant against the fencepost and looked at it out of the corner of my eye.
‘I thought you might like one’ William said, placing it on the post when I didn’t take it from his hand.
I stared into the distance, watching the haze of the sun ripple through the sky.
‘Are you going to talk to me?’ he said, resting his arms on the fence.
I cast my eyes downwards and mumbled ‘not right now’.
‘You are happy to be here aren’t you?’
What was I supposed to say? ‘I’m happy you’re safe, but I’m not happy’?
I couldn’t so I changed the subject, ‘we should be getting back to Mary’s, she’ll be waiting for us to deliver her stuff’
‘Ok’ he said brightly, ‘wait five minutes while I lock up’
‘You needn’t come William’ I said, leaving the tea on the post to go cold while I went to collect George. He was asserting his independence a few metres away from us, pouring water onto the grass from a small watering can William had found.
‘Don’t be like this, please’ he sighed. ‘Besides I have to help you carry this it into town, and to carry your bags back’.
He looked at me expectantly, hoping for confirmation that we would indeed be coming back here with him.
But a mumbled ‘fine’ is all I gave him.
*
Mary’s head popped up when we entered the bar, ‘finally! I was about to send out a search party!’
‘Sorry’ I smiled tiredly.
William entered behind me carrying her order in his arms, ‘where would you like these?’
She tapped the bar, ‘right here’s good’. She looked at him with that same caution she’d given me, ‘you new around here?’
Mary had clearly made the connection between the man standing in front of her and the one I’d described to her earlier, but she chose not to say anything.
‘Fairly, I’m Bette’s new farm hand’
She nodded approvingly, looking at me. ‘I’m Mary’ she said, sticking out her hand.
‘Bill’ he said confidently and shook it as I bit my lip to stifle an unexpected laugh.
‘I take it you and Libby know each other?’
William looked perplexed as if trying to remember who he knew with that name.
‘Er yes, he’s Alexander’s father’ I interjected, before he could drop us in it.
I saw him glance at me and I knew what he was thinking. Why hadn’t I just said he was my husband?
‘Of course he is, a little doppelgänger’ she cooed at George.
‘Unfortunately!’ William laughed.
‘I better go and collect our bags’ I said. ‘Can you sort out the dollars I owe Mary?’
‘Course’ he said with a pleased glint in his eye.
I went upstairs alone and collected our things together, slowly folding each item into the bags. For some reason, I was biding my time. Perhaps it was the fear of going into the unexpected. Mary’s wasn’t exactly home, but it was the closest I’d got to it since landing in Iowa.
When I got downstairs, William and Mary were chatting easily. Mary was laughing at something William had said, a bad joke no doubt. Nevertheless it sent a pang of anguish through me as I remembered how easily William and I could laugh together. In this place, it seemed like we could never be that way again.
‘I just want to thank you for taking care of the two of them’ William said as we re-entered the bar. ‘I really appreciate it’
Mary tutted, waving her tea towel at him dismissively ‘I wasn’t gonna kick them out onto the street now was I?!’
William smiled, ‘even so, if there’s anything I can do for you. You’ll not pay for the eggs and bread today of course’
‘Have you run that past Bette?’ she asked, conspiratorially and William laughed.
I merely stood by, detached from the in joke.
William seemed to notice me for the first time since I’d walked back down the stairs, ‘Bette’s quite a firecracker, but she’s lovely, you’ll like her’
I smiled stiffly, ‘I’m sure’
William’s face dropped at my coldness.
‘You planning on making this home?’ Mary said, interjecting the tension.
‘We’re not sure yet’ I said before William could speak.
‘Well make sure you come in to see me every once in a while’
‘We will, thank you Mary. For everything’
She waved her tea towel again, at me this time.
*
As we walked back to the farm in silence I took in the shops that lined the main street. There wasn’t much to see, just the usual collection of shops; a butchers, grocers and a small café were joined by one clothes shop and a pharmacy. King’s Road, it wasn’t, but I wasn’t perturbed by it. For all that I wanted to go home, I certainly didn’t feel unsafe. Especially now we’d found William.
‘So…Libby?’ William said as we meandered down the street. He had taken all three bags and I, George.
I didn’t look at him but could tell he was smirking.
‘It’s better than “Bill”’, I said. ‘At least I didn’t use my first name’
He laughed and I longed to laugh back, but wouldn’t let myself.
‘Middle names are close enough’
‘It was spur of the moment’ I retorted. ‘You had plenty of time to think of one, I was too busy thinking about other things’
The mood dipped and I regretted being so harsh for a second, before I remembered how he’d lied to me.
‘I don’t know how many times I can say I’m sorry’ he said, clearly exhausted.
‘I don’t need you to keep saying it’
‘Then what do you want?’ he said agonizingly, ‘I’ll do whatever it takes to make this up to you’
I looked at the ground, the little puffs of dirt rising around my shoes as I walked, ‘I don’t know what I want’.
For the first time since George and I had arrived, I felt as though I might break down. I’d spent the last two days completely focussed on our destination, but now all I wanted was to go home.
‘So this Bette’ I said, changing the subject. ‘When will she be back?’
‘In about a week’ William said, with what I thought I could hear was a sulk in his voice.
‘Will she mind us being here?’ George was dozing off in my arms and I huddled him close as we re-entered the farm.
‘No course she won’t’ he answered like it was the most obvious response.
I nodded, silently glad that George would have somewhere to sleep every night. ‘So does anyone else work at the farm?’
‘Nope just me and Bette’ he said, smiling. ‘It’s lovely and peaceful’
He expected me to smile back because we’d always talked about how much we wanted somewhere peaceful to live after we left Anglesey.
Instead he was confronted with my blanched face.
‘What’s wrong?’
‘You mean to say you’ve been completely alone and it didn’t occur to you to get out of here while you had the chance?!’
‘Kate…’ William followed me as I strode purposefully towards his outhouse. ‘Can we talk about this?’
‘Not in front of him…unlock the door’ I snapped.
It was our rule that we would try not to argue in front of George. William unlocked the front door and I placed George down on the small torn sofa that sat in the middle of the room. His mouth opened and arm lopped to one side in a satisfied drop.
William lead me back outside.
‘She only went yesterday afternoon’ he said, continuing our conversation.
‘Oh only yesterday afternoon. And you’ve done nothing since then to see if your family’s ok!’ I yelled.
‘It wasn’t like that’
‘You could’ve found a phone in that time…you could’ve walked into town – to Mary’s even – and called us…’
‘Calm dow –‘
‘…but no, you were too busy living out some stupid, pathetic little dream of being free!’ I raged at him and would’ve shoved him out of my way if he hadn’t looked so hurt at my words.
I turned away and steadied my breathing.
‘That was your dream too’ he said quietly.
‘And that’s all it is, it was never going to be reality. This life here isn’t reality’ I waved my arm out into the acres of land.
‘It can be…let me show you’
‘I don’t want you to show me, I want to go home!’ I turned to find him tensed, his jaw braced.
‘It’s not possible right now, it’s too dangerous, you saw that for yourself’
‘I don’t care’ I said petulantly.
For over ten years, I had been living my life according to William’s. Surely it was my turn to make the decisions.
‘I won’t put you in danger’. He was beginning to get irritated again.
‘But you were happy enough to leave us in danger?’ I sneered.
In a flash, William had pounded his fist against the wall. ‘They threatened you ok?! They didn’t just tell me to keep quiet. They said you and George were safe and they wouldn’t harm you as long as I didn’t try to return. They said they would spin you some yarn about why I’d left’
The skin had torn back from his knuckles, revealing dark red gashes. ‘And you believed them?’
‘I had no other choice but believe them. George is a baby, I know they wanted him out of the way but he posed no real threat to them. I had to believe that if they hadn’t hurt me, they had no reason to hurt you. Unless I tried to come back’
I couldn’t stop staring at his hand, flecks of brick were peppered in the cuts.
‘Why didn’t you tell me this earlier?’
He shook his hand, obviously beginning to feel the pain. ‘I was embarrassed’
‘Of what?’
William tutted and looked away. ‘Don’t you think I realise that everything you’ve said is true. I should’ve made sure you were ok, I should’ve protected you, and instead you had to travel across the world to find me. It should’ve been the other way around’
‘I suppose you didn’t have the means I did’
His big blue eyes glinted at me.
‘I was torn; it was like I had one of you on each shoulder. One telling me to do everything to get back. And the other telling me to keep away until it was safe. They fucked with my mind. If I had known…’
‘Hindsight is a beautiful thing I suppose’ I shrugged.
‘You two are all that matter to me’
I was deflated and tired, so much so that I didn’t have the energy to argue any more. Or maybe I just wasn’t as angry any more. ‘I know’.
*
That night after William had bathed George and put him to bed, we sat on the sofa and I silently bandaged up his hand.
‘Do you have anything I can wear in bed?’ I said as I tied the knot on the bandage. ‘I forgot to bring anything’
‘Will a t-shirt do? It’s quite hot at night’ he said, holding on to my hand for a fraction too long before I pulled it away.
I arched an eyebrow, ‘is it clean?’
He chuckled, ‘yes. We can go and get you some clothes and things tomorrow if you want’
‘Yeh that’d be good’ I rubbed the back of my neck, kneading the flesh with my palm.
‘Are you sore? Why don’t you lie down, I’ll give you a massage’ he said.
I looked down at his hands, dry and tough, they weren’t the hands I was used to touching me.
‘It’s nothing a hot bath won’t fix’ I said and stood up before he could protest.
I know he was watching me as I walked to the bathroom, probably disappointed that I was still keeping my distance.
I sunk into the hot bath later and scrubbed my body and hair free from the dirt casing I felt was surrounding me. I pulled my body and head down under the water, and felt my knots loosen.
Maybe William had made the wrong choice, but at least we were all safe. At least we were together now.
*
I woke the next morning with George squealing at me, bashing his palms on my chest to wake me up.
‘Alright alright’ I heard William say and saw him through foggy eyes standing over the bed.
He was already dressed and I could tell from the sweat on his brow that he’d been working on the farm for a few hours.
‘What time is it?’ I croaked, pushing my hair from my face.
‘Nearly ten’
‘Ten?!’ I exclaimed, ‘you must be starving Georgie!’
‘You were both conked out all night, I thought I better just let you sleep’
He was right; the last thing I remember was my head hitting the pillow. George and I had shared the bed. I didn’t know where William had slept, but I knew it wasn’t in here.
‘Come here bouncer’ he said, grabbing George and kissing him ‘let’s get you some breakfast’
The three of us settled down to breakfast in the tiny kitchen. It was smaller and more cramped than Bette’s, but still had cracked walls and chipped cupboards. What a come down this was from our palace apartment.
William was in full on baby-hogging mode insisting that he would feed, and then later change George. He had prepared some orange juice and toast for me and I tucked into it greedily.
‘Is it alright?, we can go and get some cereal…’ he said, eager to please me.
‘This is fine William’
He looked me up and down, I was still wearing his t-shirt and my hair was a curly mess after sleeping on it damp last night. I felt a slight tingle run through me. It seemed all my senses were returning.
William had his red pickup truck ready once I was dressed and I wondered outside to find the two of them in the front seat, William encouraging George to press the horn over and over again.
I stuck my fingers in my ears dramatically and William stopped.
‘You ready?’ he said enthusiastically.
‘Yep’ I nodded.
I didn’t know where exactly we were going, but William was so excited that I couldn’t bring him down.
I jumped into the passenger seat, ‘urm, does he have a baby seat’
William bit his bottom lip, ‘ah yeh about that…’
‘Will we can’t go for a drive without a baby seat!’ I said sounding like a neurotic mother.
‘I’ll drive slowly…’
‘That’s not the point, and besides what if the police see us?’
A small smirk formed on his face.
‘What?’ I said grumpily.
‘There’s not really a lot of police around here, we share the sheriff with the next town’
‘That doesn’t mean people can go around breaking the law’
‘Kate, nothing as exciting as crime happens in Redfern’ he grinned and started the engine.
He placed George on my lap and I strapped the seat belt over myself and him and clutched him tightly round the waist as he tried to wriggle back over to his dad.
William set off out of the farm, through the main street and out onto the long road out of town. I recognised the route immediately as the one George and I had taken on the bus. Each way we looked was barren land, but somehow it didn’t seem as intimidating as it had two days before.
William flicked the radio on, and a blast of loud country music blared from the speakers. He began to hum along, tapping his thumb on the steering wheel.
I laughed. ‘Since when do you like country music?!’
He turned to me, ‘since the radio only picks up one station! It’s actually alright when you get used to it’
He turned up the volume on the dial and we both rolled down our windows.
‘Life’s like a road that you travel on When there’s one day here and the next day gone Sometimes you bend, sometimes you stand Sometimes you turn your back to the wind
There’s a world outside every darkened door Where blues won’t haunt you anymore Where the brave are free and lovers soar Come ride with me to the distant shore’
I found myself tapping my foot to the song and stuck my arm out of the window to let the hot, fast air run through my fingers as it was doing through my hair.
Next to me, William’s humming became full blown singing, ‘life is a highhhway, I wanna ride it all night long!’.
I giggled and William glanced at me with a smile. He could tell what I was unwilling to say out loud. That I was enjoying myself. I was enjoying the wind through my hair and the way it blew up George’s little tuft. I was enjoying the greens and golden yellows of the landscape and the way our truck left a trail of dust behind us as we drove.
I even didn’t mind the way that dust landed on my eyelashes and in my mouth. I couldn’t help but revel in the clear blue sky and blazing sun that had tormented us two days ago, but now basked over us like a protective blanket.
I turned around and looked out of the back window. No-one was following us. No security detail, no paparazzi. My heart lifted and I had a sudden urge to do something stupid and reckless just because I could.
In the back of my mind, I knew this was William’s plan. Take us on a drive and show us the simple pleasures of life. He wanted to show me that our ‘dream’ was possible and it was everything we hoped it would be.
‘I’ve missed you’ I blurted out suddenly, unable to hold back.
He placed his bandaged hand on my knee and this time I didn’t stop him, ‘I’ve missed you too’
We continued the drive in a comfortable silence. George yawned and placed his head back against my chest. I looked down at my wrist, wondering if it was his nap time and noticed that my watch had stopped.
It was as if time stood still here. We were no longer constrained by schedules. We didn’t have to limit the time we spent talking to people. I wouldn’t have to check the time and wait for William to come home any more. I pulled off the watch and gave it to George to play with.
So this is what it was like to be free.
*
The next few days passed with a baptism of fire into what I was trying to accept as our new life. Still, it was nothing compared to my induction into the royal family and a life of fame.
We had driven out of town to pick up essentials; clothes from the thrift stores, a cot from a second hand shop and ‘girl stuff’ as William had named my toiletries. Once I’d settled George into a routine, I got William to teach me the ropes of running a farm. He’d insisted that he didn’t need help and that he didn’t really know what he was doing either. His agriculture course earlier in the year had helped, but actually applying it was another story. I was determined to be more than a housewife and it became my task to build a new fence that had fallen in the wind.
We split George’s care between us and after four days had established somewhat of a routine.
‘Are you sure Bette won’t mind us being here?’ I said one evening.
‘Of course she won’t, she’ll be happy for the extra help and it’s not like we’re living in her house’
I nodded, aware that Bette might see me as taking over her home while she was gone.
‘And you’re sure she doesn’t know who you are?’
‘If she does, she hasn’t said anything. As far as I know she put an ad in the paper for a farmhand and was expecting me when I turned up at her door’
‘The men in the blacked out car that left you at the door didn’t make her suspicious?’ I said sarcastically.
William tensed at the memory, ‘they were smart, they used a Chevy and dropped me off at the top of the path’
I put a hand on his arm. I hadn’t thought about how scary it must’ve been for him.
A flicker in his eye told me he wanted to hug me, something we still hadn’t done since I’d arrived. He couldn’t work out whether I wanted to or if I would take it well. And still, even after all we’d talked about, I didn’t know if I wanted to either.
*
On the morning of our fifth day at the farm, I woke up to find George’s cot empty. William was still sleeping on the couch. I’d found him early one morning, his legs hanging over the edge of the two-seater and just a blanket covering his bottom half. It was unfair of me to keep him from the bed, but there a distance between us remained and I wasn’t sure how we were going to fill it.
I walked into the kitchen to find William, with George on his hip, standing over the stove. Around the room were long strips of what seemed to be old magazines and old newspapers that had been cut into streamers. On the tiny kitchen table was a hot pile of pancakes.
I smiled to myself. ‘You remembered’
He turned around, ‘oh morning, of course I remembered’ he said, slightly hurt.
I walked over to George and gave him a big kiss on his squishy cheek, ‘happy birthday pumpkin’
‘I didn’t mean you wouldn’t remember, I just didn’t expect you’d do all this’ I said apologetically.
‘It’s his first birthday, we have to do something’ he said, adding more batter to the pan.
In truth, I’d blocked the thought of George’s birthday out of my mind. Back home we were planning a party for our close friends and family. My mother had already provided a box of decorations other party essentials, and now they sat in a box, useless in a room back home. The thought of George not seeing his family today made me ache.
William read my mind, ‘I thought we could head into town later and see if we can find a phone somehow, maybe try and ring your family?’
I merely nodded because the words to thank him were stuck in my throat.
Later in the morning, we took George outside to play. William had gotten all of his jobs done in the early hours and insisted this would be a day off.
‘I have a surprise for George’ he said as we walked to the stable.
‘Is it a pet pig?’ I said, suddenly thinking of Lupo.
William laughed, ‘not quite’.
He opened the stable door to a majestic brown horse that was munching on some hay.
‘Is he not…um a little big?’ I said politely.
William picked up some reigns and a saddle and threw them over the horse, ‘we’re just going for a ride’
My heart quickened, ‘on that? Will, don’t you think he’s a bit young?’
He placed a reassuring hand on my arm, ‘he’ll be safe with me’
‘But what if the horse buckles…or you fall off…’ I said quickly.
‘Come on, he’s gentle, and besides it’s his birthday, he deserves a treat!’
William had always wanted to teach George how to ride a horse. I didn’t think he’d be starting quite so early.
‘What do you think GB? You wanna go on the horsey don’t you?’
George reached out to pull at the horse’s mane, which William took as a yes.
He got onto the horse with ease and gave the horse a pat. Neither William nor Harry had taken part in polo season this year, and I could see how happy he was to be back in the saddle.
‘Right, pass him up’
I handed George over gingerly and he began to kick his arms in excitement.
‘Are you gonna ride the horsey George?’ William said, placing him securely in front of him.
George smiled from ear to ear as they set off on a slow trot. I instinctively started to move back to the house to collect the camera, before remembering I didn’t have it to capture this picture perfect moment. They rode around in wide circles and I waved to George each time he passed me. He was so carelessly happy.
After fifteen minutes, they came to a stop and I reached up to get George down. He screamed in protest.
‘George’ William said sternly, ‘stop giving your mummy hassle’
He stopped his screaming but carried on making whining noises, just to let us know he wasn’t happy.
Will jumped down from the horse, ‘horsey needs a rest now, ok? We don’t want horsey getting tired do we?’
‘Say thank you horsey’ I said.
George reached over to pat the horse, ‘hossee’
William and I looked at each other, stunned.
‘Did he just say…?’
‘I think he did…’
Tears sprang to my eyes, ‘clever boy! My clever boy!’. I showered him with kisses and William too held back a lump in his throat, his face full of pride.
*
As we walked into town later that day, the two of us had a spring in our step. George knew a few other words like ‘mumum’ for milk, but this was his first ‘proper’ word.
‘Our boy’s a genius I’m telling you!’ William said.
‘I’m pretty sure other babies can say more words at his age’ I teased.
‘Don’t listen to her GB, you’re gonna be a brain surgeon one day aren’t you?’
It was the first time that I realised that George could be a brain surgeon, in fact he could be anything he wanted now. I glowed at the thought of his future, and how proud he would make his father no matter what profession he chose.
We walked through the length of the high street and ventured into the grocery store. The grocer was standing behind the counter wearing a brown apron over his portly stomach and weighing some apples. It was the kind of scene you only say in movies.
‘Afternoon sir’
William greeted him, ‘afternoon, we were looking for somewhere to buy a phone, I don’t suppose you know where we can find one?’
The grocer scratched his head, ‘not around here, you’ll have to go miles out of town’
‘I thought you might say that’
‘But there is that payphone on the corner next to the barbers’
‘There is?’ William said enthusiastically. ‘Brilliant, thank you’
We left the shop carrying a bag of fruit, and walked at a quicker pace than usual to where the barbers were. When we got there we found the phone box, its doors covered in dirt and adverts.
‘I didn’t know this was here’ William said, like he thought I was about to chastise him.
‘I know, it’s ok’ I said.
We pulled open the door and my heart dropped. The cord attaching the receiver to the set was cut clean apart.
William shut the door immediately, noticing my expression. ‘It’s alright, we’ll find something I promise’
Our walk home was much more solemn than our walk to town. We walked without conversation, with William pointing things out for George to look at. Half way home, ahead of me, I noticed a figure hobbling towards us.
‘It’s crow man!’ I said suddenly.
‘Who?’ William said, confused by the sudden outburst.
‘I’ll explain later…’ I said as the man from the bus got closer to us. ‘Hello again!’
‘Oh hello, I said I’d see you again didn’t I?’
‘You did indeed’ I laughed. ‘This is my husband by the way’
He reached out his hand and I saw William notice his flashy watch, ‘good to meet you’
‘I hope you’ve still got those notes’ I said kindly.
‘Of course ma’am, and see here I picked this up from the thrift store, this’ll be worth something’ he pulled out a sparkling brooch from his pocket.
I didn’t know whether he realised it was cheap tat but I didn’t want to break it to him.
A thought suddenly occurred to me, this was a man who seemed to hoard anything.
‘Sir, I don’t suppose you have a phone we could borrow? It’s an international call but we have more notes if you’d like them’ I gave him my sweetest smile.
He dug around in his pocket, ‘mine’s pretty high tech, it should do international’ he said, and produced a small mobile phone that looked about ten years old. He pressed the on button, clearly he hadn’t switched it on for a while.
William sniggered.
He handed it to me and William dug into his pocket to pay him immediately.
‘Ahh…’ the crow man said, looking at the dollars.
‘Not those notes’ I said to William as I punched in the number. ‘We’ve got the others at the farm, but you can have these too’
The crow man looked relieved as I put the phone to my ear. My heart was pounding as we stood there in the middle of the street.
‘Hello?’ came a distant voice amid the crackle of the phone.
‘Mum? It’s me’ I said, hardly able to speak.
‘Catherine?!’
‘Yes, are you ok?’
‘Oh my goodness, where are you, are you ok, are you safe?!’ she said. I could barely hear her and the line was quickly failing.
‘Mum listen we’re all fine, I can’t say where we are but just know we’re ok’. William and I had agreed that we wouldn’t tell my family where we were in case their line was bugged, which we were certain it would be. ‘Is everything ok there, any news from Wi-, I mean the other family?’
My mother sensed the urgency in my voice, ‘I’ve only spoken to Harry and he says everyone is safe as far a he knows, he so worried about you all’
The phone crackled harshly in my ear, ‘please tell him we’re ok’ I shouted.
‘I will, I’m losing you …’
‘We’ll call when we can ok? I love you!’
The line cut off suddenly and I let out a long relieved breath. William rubbed my back in understanding. I handed the phone back to the crow man and he rubbed his chin.
‘Not much battery left now’ he said. ‘Better keep it off from now on’
‘I’m sorry’ I said, still distracted from speaking to my mother.
He shrugged, ‘I’ll find a charger for it one day, it wasn’t in the dumpster when I found the phone’
William and I smiled, regretting finding out where he’d acquired that phone, but a wash of gratitude was given to him nonetheless.
*
The rest of our day was spent quietly, and by the evening when George was tucked up in his cot, I was still deep in thought.
‘Thinking about the family?’ Will said, as we were clearing up the plates in the kitchen.
‘No actually, I was thinking about the day George was born’
William grinned, ‘it was a pretty amazing day, wasn’t it?’
‘The best’, tears pushed up into my eyes, threatening to overflow.
‘Hey, don’t cry’ he said, putting down the tea towel and resting his hands over my shoulders. ‘I promise it’ll all work out’
‘I know’ I said, clearing my throat. ‘It’s just a lot to take in; I would never have imagined us to be here a year ago’
‘I don’t think anyone could’ve predicted this’ he said, furrowing his brow.
I moved away from him, suddenly aware of how comforting his arms were. He grabbed my hand as I turned and gazed silently at me.
‘I should go to bed’ I said quietly.
He lifted his other hand and ran it through my hair, ‘stay with me’
I didn’t know what to say or to do. My heart was thumping and I was sure he must be able to hear it. His eyes were locked into mine and he wasn’t letting go. He’d had enough of me pushing him away, I knew that days ago.
Part of me didn’t want to let him close to me, I wanted him to suffer the way I had when he disappeared. But another part, the part that was now surging inside me like a wave, wanted him to take control and show me how much he’d missed me.
The hand in my hair moved down to my cheek and my stomach flipped. I took a step back and he took one forward with me. I threw my arm back to steady myself, looking for something solid to hold onto before he absorbed me completely.
My hand found the worktop and William’s other hand found my waist. He leant down and brushed his lips over my cheek, his hand still clasped over the other side of my face. The bristles on his face sent sharp ripples through me.
‘Come back to me’ he muttered into my ear.
My breathing became shallow and I tried to focus on a chip in the worktop that was under my finger. But it was too late; it was too late as soon as he grabbed my hand.
I leant my body back against the worktop and he kissed me hard on the mouth and I opened it to him so he could push his tongue inside.
He tugged at my lips with his and released my waist so he could take my head in his hands. His body pushed against mine and I felt the familiar hardness against my stomach.
His face moved across my face and down to my neck and I placed my hand on the back of his head. I was dizzy with need, and it only heightened as he began to groan into my neck.
We stumbled into the living room, pasting kisses all over each other and William tripped over the coffee table leg, causing a loud bang.
‘Shhh’ I said.
My insistence that he be quiet only made him more fervent and he undid my jeans as I did the same to his. The rest of our clothes followed until I was left with just my underwear.
Suddenly he slowed, sat me down on the couch and knelt in front of me, kissing me from my neck down to my chest. His hand moved around to my back and unclasped my bra and he pulled it off. The hair on his face rubbed over my breasts as he took them into his mouth and I bit down on my lip as his hand moved up my thigh and under my pants.
Before I could take another breath, they were off and he was on top of me. He entered me slowly but surely, making sure I felt every stroke of him inside me. When the time came, I dug my fingers into his back and bit down onto his shoulder, inhaling his deep earthy scent as our bodies shuddered together, slick with sweat and relief.
Sunrise came with William’s arm over me and me body curled into his.
‘What are you thinking?’ he said.
My eyes popped open, ‘how did you know I was awake?’
‘Because your breathing changes when you’ve woken up’ he nuzzled his face into my neck.
‘Just about how nice it is to have you in bed with me’ I turned over and buried my head into his chest.
‘I better get up and get started baby’
‘Don’t go’ I mumbled.
‘I have to’, he pulled himself away from me and started to get dressed.
I noticed the faint red mark on his shoulder and smiled.
‘I’ll be as quick as I can, we can relax later’ he came over to me and kissed me on the top of my head, and then George’s before leaving the room.
I stretched out my limbs in bed and looked over to George who was sound asleep. Being a married couple wasn’t going to be as easy now we shared a bedroom with our son. I slipped on William’s shirt and trot outside, deciding to take the opportunity.
I could hear William opening the gates outside, ‘Will, George is still asleep, maybe we could…oh’
Standing with William outside our house was a short round woman with blonde and grey wispy hair.
‘Ah, here she is’ William said. I pulled down his shirt which was barely covering me. ‘This is Libby, Libby this is Bette’
‘Oh, of course, lovely to finally meet you’ I walked up to her, red faced and shook her hand.
‘I was just sayin to Bill what a surprise this is’ she said, her accent full and thick.
‘I am sorry, if it’s a problem, I understand, we can go somewhere else’ I grabbed at the shirt again as the light morning wind attempted to blow it up.
‘You and your bub are welcome here, though I’ll warn you now, people round here will expect a few more clothes’ she laughed
I blushed, ‘I’m so sorry of course…’
William gave me an apologetic smile and I scuttled back inside before I made more of a fool out of myself. It certainly wasn’t the impression I hoped to make.
*
Bette was a typical mother hen, she clucked around me and George, making sure we were fed and watered at all times. When we told her I’d been helping out at the farm, she seemed horrified and insisted I didn’t. This wasn’t to say she was completely old fashioned, she ran that farm single-handedly and William was just the brawn.
Instead of working on the land, Bette taught me how to cook the most comforting food I’d ever eaten. From pecan pies to massive steaks, we gorged on home grown meals. My initial nervousness around her quickly dissolved as I began to see her as a mother figure, which still at thirty two years old, I was missing with my mother so far away.
Time went on before we had a chance to notice. Our days were filled with work, food and teaching George new things. We had managed to call home twice more when passing the crow man on the street. He had become bored of the pound notes we were giving him and on our last phone call, William had handed over his Omega watch.
I had asked Bette if she had a phone and she’d dismissed the idea, ‘why would I need a cell phone?’ she said. She didn’t have a landline either and William and I worried about what she’d do if she ever needed help.
The one thing she did have was a radio in the kitchen where we listened to country music as we cooked and Bette hummed along merrily.
The news from home was sparse, the republic were still going strong and the queen and William’s father and step-mother were still in hiding. Harry, we heard from Mum, had left for Africa.
As for William and I; we had repaired our marriage as best we could. It wasn’t the same as back home, and part of me was still angry with him and always would be, but we were stronger than ever. If we were honest, our freedom made us happier too. We were loving life with our little family and the small pleasures we had. Watching the sun go down every night across the land, laughing as William tried to teach George to play football, and talking about all the things we might one day get the chance to do. It was beginning to feel like home.
I wish our story could’ve stopped there, happy and content with each other and living the simple life we always craved. But things were never that easy and one day, six months on from when we arrived, our past came back.
It was a chilly day in December and I warmed my hands against the oven in Bette’s kitchen to warm them. William and George were at the table cutting out gingerbread shapes while I was supervising the baking.
‘Look at this one’ William said cheekily and showed me an oblong shaped biscuit he’d made.
‘William!’ I tutted, before turning and smiling.
‘Dada, ooo’ George said, showing him a lump of dough. He was able to speak much more now, and we’d been promoted to ‘mumma’ and ‘dada’.
The radio played in the background, a mix of country and christmas tunes.
‘Lovely Georgie, Kate can you turn that off or put it on something else? It’s driving me mad!’ William said.
‘I don’t really want to mess with Bette’s radio’ I said reluctantly.
‘You can always turn the dial back goodie two shoes!’ William teased me relentlessly about my desire to please Bette.
I turned the dial and was surprised to find, that unlike William’s truck, it found another station.
‘The British Government…’ it said as I continued to turn the dial.
William’s head snapped up, ‘turn it back’
I did so and we listened in silence to the first real news we’d got from back home.
‘…after the UK suffered one of its worst economic slumps of modern times. The Green Party has not kept its promises of a prosperous new Britain and the people are demanding a reelection before the end of the year. The are calls from opposition groups to reinstate the monarchy and the government is under increasing pressure to make a statement after sources claim that the queen is to return to the country’
I looked at William who placed one hand protectively over George’s back. His face was deep in concentration. He looked up at me and I knew what he was thinking.
In that one moment, we had lost control of our life once more. The blissfully protected cocoon we’d created over the last few months was about to be cracked wide open and shattered.
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Hot as hell and no A/C, Chapter 2 (Branjie) - Blackhighheels
Read at AO3
Two
”Vanjie, can I have one more hot chocolate?”
”Sure, here, Miss Ballerina,” Jose tells little Rachel and hands her his last couple of coins. It’s probably not the best idea to get her so hyped on sugar so late in the evening, but going to the vending machine, typing in the numbers and getting another hot, sweet drink seems to distract the girl from the madness around her. Maybe that’s also why she’ s been stuck to Jose’s side since they left the dancing studio. For once, he’s the calm one. He kind of wants to call his mama and tell her; she’d be so proud.
Jose looks over to Brock and takes in his hunched over posture. This man’s an absolute mystery and he’d be fascinating to Jose, even if he wasn’t so fucking gorgeous.
In the car Brock was quiet and visibly shaken. Jose wasn’t able to get any information out of him as to what had happened with his brother. Jose had been chatting with Rachel to distract her during the drive, while Brock only spoke to give directions. Once they’d arrived at the hospital, Brock took over, asked the nurses for directions to the waiting room and for information on his brother. They’ d still been doing some tests on him and hadn’t been able to say much, so all three of them went to the waiting room, where Brock made calls and paced back and forth, as Jose chatted with Rachel.
After the calls, when Rachel made her first trip to the vending machines, Brock sunk down on a chair and deflated like the air had been let out of him. He’d ooked so small and defeated that Jose had walked over to him and crouched down in front of him.
”You ok?” he asked him. Brock didn’t answer him with words. Instead, he simply lifted his head and let Jose see his eyes, which were full of tears.
A moment later Brock’s sister-in-law walked in with his mother and some serious transformer shit went on with him. It really was like watching a fucking episode of transformers when they unfold from the small cars into the big-ass transformer heroes. Brock had unfolded himself, got off the chair took over again; He held his mother, calmed his sister-in-law down, talked to the nurses and doctors, prayed with his family after his mother urged him to, and even played a round of ‘I spy with my little eye’ with Rachel.
Finally, after what felt like for-fucking-ever, but was probably just two hours, Brock’s mother and sister-in-law were asked by the doctors to come with them to see his brother, while Brock was left to take care of the paperwork.
Jose still finds it odd, that Brock would fill out the paperwork, not that it is any of his damn business.
Once the papers had been filled out, Brock sunk down on the chair again, folded in on himself and hasn’t changed his position since.
It’s like seeing two different people: A quiet, depressed and tired one, who is so sad, that Jose can feel the emotion in his own chest squeezing his heart. And then there’s the take-charge kind of guy, who takes care of everyone and everything. Jose just wonders who takes care of Brock.
Jose looks around to make sure they are still alone, then walks over to him and sits down in the chair next to him.
”Hey, Mary, how you holding up?” Jose touches his arm gently to get his attention. He doesn’t really expect an answer nor does he need one. ”How ‘bout we drive back home and you get Rachel into bed. It’s kinda late.”
”Rachel… oh,” Brock seems to have forgotten that she’s still here and looks around the room.
”She went to get more hot chocolate from the vending machine just outside.”
”Oh ok,” Brock nods and finally sits up. ”Uhm, could you take her home? I’ll probably have to spend the night here and see if Daniel needs anything.”
”Sure, whatever you want. But, you know, you look pretty dead on your feet. Sure you wanna stay here?”
”I have to.” A deep sigh follows his words. ”Maybe you could also take my mom and Lily? I’ll just take their car to drive back tomorrow.” Just then the three women come back and Brock transforms again. ”Hey, so, uhm, Jose will take you all back home and I’ll stay here and take care of things.”
”Jose?” his mother asks and looks questioningly at him. She seems to even notice him for the first time.
”He’s Rachel’s new dance teacher and volunteered to drive us here.” Brock justifies him being here, which strikes Jose as odd.
”Dance teacher? One of Jason’s… friends?” The way Lily asks the question says everything he needs to know about what she thinks about Jason. However this isn’t the place to start a fight.
”Yeah,” Brock just nods and doesn’t pay her tone any mind. ”Drive with him, I’ll stay until the morning.”
”You got your I.D with you? They need someone to sign because of all the bills and stuff. I thought, you know,” Lilly speaks again and Jose understands that they expect Brock to takes care of the hospital bills. Brock bites his lip but nods.
”Don’t come back too late, you know you’ll have to help your father with the fence tomorrow or he’ll get upset again.” His mother says as she picks up her purse from the chair. How Brock is supposed to build a fence or some shit after spending the night in one of these fucking hospital chairs is a mystery, but none of Jose’s business, once again.
”Ladies, y’all are ready to go?” Jose asks instead and holds his hand out for Rachel. He stops in the doorway and looks back. ”Let me know if you need anything, k?” he tells him.
”Thank you” Brock replies and Jose even gets a small smile. Only when he sits in the car, halfway back home, does Jose remember that he never gave Brock his number.
***
When he gets back to the house, Brock takes the long way around it, so he can stop by the barn first. He knows his parents will be inside at this time of day, waiting with lunch. He just needs a second before he can face them. As quietly as possible he sneaks inside and is greeted by his favorite kitten, who runs towards him. He picks the small guy up and cuddles him to his chest as he buries his face in the soft fur and lets his tears fall.
”What am I gonna do?” he asks the kitten and sits down on the ground. ”I don’t know what to do. I can’t take on Dan’s business on top of the farm. I just can’t! I’m so fucking tired …I don’t know how to pay his hospital bills. There’s no money left,” he cries and feels a bit comforted when his friend starts purring. ”I don’t wanna do this anymore. I don’t!” For a while he can’t speak anymore as the tears overwhelm him completely.
His head is pounding even worse once he has cried himself out, but overall he feels a bit better. Nothing has changed, nothing is solved, but the soft sounds of the cat help him to calm down. He gives himself another couple of minutes before he washes his face with cold water and makes his way to the main house, that seems bigger and more overwhelming with every step he takes towards it.
”Brock, bring me a beer, will ya?” his father greets him as he walks into the house. He passes the fridge and takes one beer out, grabs a bottle of water for himself and then sits down at the lunch table.
”Did you bring Dan home with you?” his mother asks as she sets the pot down on the table.
”Yes, he’s home now. I dropped him off.” Brock nods and tries to stifle the yawn.
”I’m so relieved. Thank the lord, he is home.” Brock waits until his mother has sat down and said grace before he start to eat.
”Just some bruises and scratches your mother said?” His father asks through his mouth full of bread.
”He has a light concussion and some bruises on his back from the fall. He won’t be able to work for a week or two, but then he’ll be fine,” Brock lets them know.
”You gonna take over now. Shouldn’t be much more work than usual,” his father shrugs unimpressed. ”And he’ll need the money with all the unnecessary hospital bills comin’ in. He shoulda just stayed here. No hospital needed for some damn bruises.”
”It’s a full time job and business. I can’t just take over. Who’s gone do the work around here?” Brock asks and puts his fork down. He is upset by the careless words of his father, both about his brother’s health and his own time and work ethic.
”Don’t raise ya voice to me!” his father barks.
”You can’t let your brother down, Brock! He has three kids, they all need to eat,” His mother speaks at the same time.
”And how are they gonna pay for them bills, if you gonna do nothing?” His father asks. ”How much was that damn hospital visit anyway?”
”About three thousand dollars.”
”How’s Dan supposed to pay for that? How are we supposed to pay for that?” His mother gets upset. Her voice is shaking and Brock can tell that she is close to tears.
”I don’t know,” Brock shrugs helplessly. He’s too tired to come up with anything and it’s the simple truth. He’s no magician who can just make a solution appear, even if that’s what his family seems to expect from him constantly.
”Then you better come up with something, son. You the one with no obligations, wife or kids. You the one who always wanted that school education. Ya better use it for once!” His father gets his usual dig in at him, but Brock is too tired to even care. He just wants to eat his lunch and then get some sleep. Even though that won’t happen for hours and hours.
***
It’s Sunday and for the third time this week, Brock finds himself sitting in church, listening to yet another sermon that seems endless. He’d rather be in bed at home and catch up on his sleep. Since his brother’s accident he feels like he’s been sleepwalking constantly.
The priest drones on and on and Brock doesn’t really pay attention to what he’s saying. On auto-pilot he says the prayers and sings the songs. Church and religion and belief has lost meaning for him for a long time, but he doesn’t manage to step away from it all completely. What if they’re right? And what if he’s wrong? What if he’s really gonna go to hell? And what if the devil and the modern society has really taken a hold of him and that is why he is… how he is? Flawed and committing sin and … just wrong.
”And therefor we all have to fear a predator, bisexual, cross-dresser or even a homosexual…” he hears and stops listening again. So people should fear him? Or should he fear for himself? He doesn’t want to be what he is, but it’s not like he ever got to choose.
When he had his first crush on a boy as a teenager he didn’t know what to do. He’d prayed, prayed for these feelings to go away. He’d asked his lord what he had done that he was punished this way? Why couldn’t he just like girls and be like everyone else? Then he could have got married young like his brother and sister, had a couple of kids and just be normal. Instead, he was damned to be alone, because he could never live what he was.
Except for this one weekend a year, the weekend of the agricultural show in Houston. He has no interest in the show itself, but that’s the only time when he’s far away from home and in a city big enough that he dares to sneak into one of the gay bars and clubs. For two nights ever year he gives into his forbidden primal urges and follows strangers into the bathrooms or darkrooms where they suck and fuck each other. By morning light of the third day he aways feels horrible and guilty and prays extra hard once he’s back at church. Then he has a whole year to burry what he craves, what sin he wants to live in and what he is.
Gay.
There’ve been days in the past when he wanted to end it all, because he can never be what his family wants him to be. He will never be able to make them happy. And he can never be happy himself, because what would make him happy is a sin in the eyes of god.
Maybe… most likely.
He doesn’t dare to think that everything he was taught to believe, and still doesn’t most days, can all be a lie.
In his early twenties, when he’d been allowed to go to college to become a minister himself - not that he ever wanted to be one - he’d signed himself up for conversation therapy, because he just wanted to be happy and normal. It had been the most horrible six weeks of his life and at the end of it he’d felt more depressed and rotten than ever before; but still gay.
So he’d gone back home where there was less temptation under the watchful eyes of his parents. And they needed his help and the money anyway.
Jason is the only other gay in town and the only one who lives it openly. Sometimes he even comes to church. Brock wishes he had his courage and self-confidence. And another family. He loves his family with all of his heart, but he’s sure the second he’d come out to them, they’d kick him out and he’d be even lonelier than he is now.
God, when was the last time he hasn’t felt lonely, he wonders and suddenly Vanjie’s face appears crystal clear in his mind. His warm eyes and his smile and the way he’d helped him out and taken care of Rachel. It had been so nice to let someone take over for once and be taken care of, even if it was just for one single car ride to the hospital and a cup of coffee before at the dance studio.
He smiles slightly, remembering the scene. Then he goes back to his careful blank expression, scared that anyone could read his mind. He has to stay away from Vanjie, because the risk is way too high for him. Only a slight rumour is enough to ruin his reputation in the small town.
The intro to another song is played and Brock goes back to thinking nothing and feeling nothing. ”Oh lord my god, when I in awesome wonder, consider all….”
***
”But uncle Brock, Vanjie said that we’re out if we’re late. He’ll kick me off the workshop! All because of your stupid car!” Rachel kicks another small pebble so that it flies onto the street.
”Hey, I’m sorry, Rach’ but I can’t change it. I’ll explain it to Vanjie, I promise,” Brock says and is glad when finally the dance studio shows up on the horizon. Walking for half an hour with a whiny and angry child isn’t really what he needs or wants. He’d tried to get out of the dance studio duty so he could avoid Vanjie. For the last couple days it had worked. But today he’d run out of luck, because Ada wasn’t feeling well and he had to take Rachel and then his fucking car didn’t start.
”Everybody will laugh about me and I won’t be allowed to dance with them today,” she sniffs. There’s nothing else he can do or say, that he hadn’t said during the last half hour, so he just remains silent.
When they get to the studio Jason takes one look at the both of them and tells Rachel to get changed really quick and then join the class. Through the class window he sees that Vanjie sends her to the back of the class, even though she usually stands front and centre. He really needs to talk to him and explain that it’s his fault. For now he can only watch the class with the rest of the dance moms. Vanjie looks even better today than when he last saw him. He’s wearing black sweats and a tank top that is way to big on him and shows his chest. Brock lets his eyes wander over the caramel skin and wishes he was allowed to touch it and kiss it.
He quickly snaps himself out of it and tries to keep his eyes on Rachel from then on. What if anyone observed him and knew what he was doing? What if it showed on his face what he is thinking about?
When the class is over and the girls go change, Brock sneaks into the otherwise empty classroom, where Vanjie is digging through his large sports bag.
”Hey uhm, can I talk to you for a second?”
”Hey, Brock!” Jose turns around with a wide smile on his face, that leaves Brock tongue tied. For a moment they just look at each other. ”How are you? How is your brother?”
”Good, pretty banged up from the fall and black and blue, but beside the concussion nothing too serious.”
”I’m glad to hear that, mama.” He puts his hands on his hips and cocks his head to the side. ”And how are you?”
”I’m fine,” Brock lies. ”But, like… Rachel was really upset because we were late today and like, I jus wanted to tell ya that it wasn’t her fault.”
”That don’t matter. Late is late,” Jose shrugs.
”Does that mean that she gets kicked off the workshop?”
”Nah, I just say that to scare them little kiddos and get some respect, ya know,” Jose smirks. ”But,” he adds then, ”what’s the excuse?”
”My car broke down again and we had to walk here.”
”Walked? In this fucking wilderness? Aren’t ya scared ‘bout getting attacked by some coyote or some shit?”
Brock laughs. ”There’s no coyotes around here.”
”Rattlesnakes? Spiders? Tigers?” Jose has to laugh about his own bullshit.
”No, not really.”
”Ya gonna make Rachel walk all the way back now? After leg day today? Ya one tough daddy,” Jose snorts.
”Daddy?” Brock cackles. ”She’s my niece.”
”Really? Coulda fooled me. Same sparkly green-blue eyes,” Jose smirks and the way he looks at him makes Brock nervous. If his hot cheeks are any indiction, he even blushes.
”Uncle Brock, I’m ready,” Rachel saves him.
”Hey, Rachel, I heard you had to walk here. How ‘bout I give you two ladies a ride back?” Jose turns to his niece.
”Uh, that’s really not,” Brock tried to decline.
”Yay! Thank you Vanjie!” Rachel yells excitedly and tales the decision out of Brock’s hands. ”But uncle Brock’s no lady!”
”He’s not? An old grandma?”
Rachel screams with laughter. ”He’s not a girl!”
”Reeeeally? Ya Sure, Miss Rachel? But he’s got real pretty eyes… and look at these legs! Dang!” Jose makes Rachel giggle again as they walk out of the room. Jose stops in the door. ”Ya coming, Miss Thing?” he asks Brock. He knows he should stop this and he knows it’s wrong, but Jose’s sassy expression and the way he looks at him just make him chuckle as he hurries after them to the car.
***
”Miss Rachel, slow down. I’m old, ya know,” Jose jokes as they follow the girl to his car. She’s so excited, that she’s run ahead, even after the exhausting training session Jose just puts the kids through.
”Jose, you really don’t have to drive us home again. It’s not necessary.” Brock tells him for the tenth time that night and probably the thirtieth over the last three days.
”But he promised me ice cream, because I won and could do the backwards handspring!” Rachel knows and jumps into the backseat when Jose pushes the button so the car opens.
”She’s right, you know. I owe her. You can pay for ya own damn ice-cream, if you insist,” Jose teases him and gets into the car as well. Brock chuckles and follows, it’s not like he has a choice anyway.
Jose has been driving them home for the last four days and even though Brock is embarrassed that Jose feels obligated to do that, he still enjoys the time he gets to spend with him. Jose is funny and kind and never boring. Everything feels lighter when he is with him and in his presence he is able to forget about his crappy life and his problems. When he is with him, Brock feels like he can be himself, without having to pretend to be manlier than he is, or less sensitive or more religious. Jose doesn’t care about any of it.
He always asks about his family, he always seems genuinely interested in how his days went. Sometimes he asks for his opinion about random things like food, music or movies; although Brock rarely knows any of the movies he talks about. Sometimes Brock wishes they could talk about other things, deeper things, just the two of them; but Rachel is always in the backseat and joins their conversation as she pleases, not that it really bothers them.
Brock gets his wish sooner than he thought, when Rachel runs off to a set of swings on the playgrounds once she has demolished her ice-cream, while he and Jose sit at a table and watch her, both eating very slowly.
”Have you ever left this town?” Jose asks him suddenly.
”Yeah, every now and then. I went to college in Dallas for a couple of months, but then had to come back, because my family needed me here and I wasn’t really interested in becoming a minister,” he admits out loud, maybe for the first time ever.
”You really religious, huh? Like, your family and all?”
”Yes, I guess we are. I just… it’s normal for me, you know? Like, I’ve never known anything else. You don’t believe in god?”
”I’m catholic, but I’m rarely at church. Only when my mama drags my ass there for Christmas.” Jose seems to think about how to continue. ”Sometimes, when things are shit, I pray. And then I forget again.” Jose chuckles and Brock has to laugh with him. ”In L.A. you get away with shit like that.”
”Why are you here anyway?” Brock stops when he realises how this question sounds. ”I mean, like, this is not the place I’d expect a world famous choreographer to show up in.”
”How do you know I’m a world famous choreographer? I could be shit.” Jose asks him sassily.
”I’m quoting Rachel.” Brock gets slightly nervous under Jose’s sudden scrutiny.
”Jason’s an old friend of mine and I owed him a favour. Couple of years ago, when I wasn’t as rich and famous,” Jose winks at him and Brock’s heart nearly jumps out of his chest and his palms get sweaty, ”and my ex kicked me out, Jason helped me out and took me in and I must’ve said something like ‘I owe you’. Now that he’s here and his back’s all fucked up, he couldn’t do the workshop and so he came to cash his cheque.”
”So you lived together?” Brock doesn’t know where the question is coming from, but now it’s out there.
”Just roomies,” Jose’s laughter is loud and echoes over the nearly empty terrace they are sitting on. ”Jason’s got his man in New York. They been doing the long distance shit for a long time, ‘cause Jason wants to stay here and Chris’ working in New York.”
”I didn’t know that.” Brock has known Jason nearly all of his life, but he’s never really talked to him and knows basically nothing about him.
”People here aren’t too kind to people like Jason…. Or me. We too extra, too girly, too much, too… gay. That why I could never live here. I don’t wanna get stuck in no closet again, ya know? I don’t know how Jason does it.” Suddenly the look on Jose’s eyes changes and becomes probing as he looks directly at Brock. ”Or other people. It’s fucking hard when you can’t be yourself because of your family or religion or some other shit. I get it. I guess we’ve all been there. But….” Brock has to look away and break the eye contact. He feels like Jose can look right into his mind and heart. If Jose suspects…
No, he can’t!
Nobody knows, and surely Jose doesn’t either. It’d ruin everything. But what if…? Brock feels panic rising in his chest as his throat constricts and breathing gets harder.
Jose’s warm hand comes to rest on top of his ice-cold one and when he speaks, his voice is calm and barely above a whisper. ”Calm down, boo… Just… if you ever wanna talk…about anything…”. Jose doesn’t finish his sentence, but it’s clear what he’s just offered. The unspoken words hang between them and feel dangerous and comforting at the same time. Brock should freak out.
However, Jose’s hand that is resting on his, is calming and so he simply gives Jose a tiny smile in return. They eat the rest of their ice-cream in silence.
TBC
#rpdr fanfiction#brooke lynn hytes#vanessa vanjie mateo#branjie#m/m au#slow burn#romance#angst#hot as hell and no ac#blackhighheels#tw religion#tw internalized homophobia
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