#But sadly that means I have to first watch and absorb the contents of the video tutorials...

[loveletterworm]

i have an html guide on making shimejis that i started writing in literally 2021 and somehow never posted even though it was mostly finished this whole time and now time has passed and it would need to be updated to account for updates that have happened since then This is my secret white whale for some reason

[neyswxrld]

sweet as cookies

Hardcase x reader (gn)

summary: You promised Hardcase to bake cookies and he's very excited about that.

warnings: none, it's just fluff

word count: ~670

advent calendar masterlist

a/n: this is the eleventh fic for my advent calendar! sadly, i'm too busy to bake cookies this year.

p.s. english isn't my mother tongue, sorry for misspellings! 

When you first told Hardcase about Christmas, he was very excited.

He liked the whole concept of Christmas. The love, the family, the warmth, the presents, the snow, even the Christmas tree. He absorbed everything you told him and placed it in his heart like a small treasure, ready to be found and opened, to share its content with others.

But there was one thing Hardcase didn't just like.

Christmas cookies.

Since the first time you told him about the small, baked goods, he was excited about them. He immediately loved them, even though he hadn't really tried some of the sweets.

Your family had the tradition to bake some cookies at the day the first snow falls and Hardcase really loved that too.

So, instead of being confused, when he wakes you with a big smile on his face the other day, you just laugh a little at his cute excitement.

"It's snowing! You know, what that means!" he almost yells, excited.

He pulls you out of the bed and into the bathroom, waiting impatiently for you to get ready.

Right after that, he takes you to the next grocery store, ready to buy everything you two need to make some of the goods.

When you're at home again, he almost vibrates out of his skin while he helps you set up everything you'll need.

"What do we need to do first?" Hardcase asks, looking over the stuff.

"Those are really easy cookies. You just have to mix everything, put it in the fridge for some time, and then we can cut out some motives," you explain, taking out a bowl from the shelf, giving it to him.

Hardcase stands in front of the bowl, measuring all the ingredients you give to him perfectly, and is excited to mix them.

When you put the dough in the fridge, he starts to lick the small spoom, tasting his creation.

"Oh, it's awesome!" he says, taking another small lick.

"You're lucky there aren't eggs in it. If you think it tastes great now, you have to wait until they're baked," you laugh and give him a small kiss on his cheek.

Excited as ever, he nods, helps you clean the kitchen, and prepare the stuff you need for the next step.

After about half an hour, you take the dough out of the fridge again and start to roll it out.

Carefully, Hardcase places some cookie cutters on it and smiles every time he lays a new raw cookie on the baking tray.

When there's no dough left, you put the trays in the oven.

"When they're cool again, we have to make some icing so they taste and look better," you explain again, and Hardcase nods, confident.

He really enjoys helping you with the cookies and still can't wait for them to be finished.

When that time comes around, he happily puts the icing on the cookies and sprinkles some colorfuk sprinkles on them.

"They're pretty," he says, proudly when everything is done and the kitchen clean again.

"Yes, you really did great!" you nod at him and lay your head on his shoulder.

"Are they finished now? Can I try one?" he asks again, smiling. You roll your eyes a little bit. So impatient.

"Yeah, go on, try one," you smile at him and don't have to tell him twice.

His hand snaps forward, and you can't even look as fast as the cookie disappears in his mouth.

With raised eyebrows, you watch him chew and start to smile, as the excited glimmer in his eyes intensifies.

"That is the best thing I have ever tried," he almost cries out, taking another one.

Laughing, you reach out for one for yourself and smile at the sweet taste on your tongue.

Hardcase indeed did great. 

And if someone asked you about the reason for you to bake so many cookies for christmas, you just smiled and thought about the look of joy and excitement on Hardcase's face, every time he got to bake or taste a new one.

TAGLIST:

@isthereanechoinhere96

[pleasantspark]

CONTENT WARNINGS: This chapter contains content not suitable for people who are easily disturbed. The following content contains mentions of suicide and depression and telling someone to kill themselves. Proceed with caution.

If you or a loved one is suffering from this, please call for help. It's only a call away.

This was written by the perspective of someone with the issue at hand. This is just a catalyst to future Cell and Orion interactions and ARE NOT going to be together yet, Cell will however have some new found respect for Orion.

Songs that I listened to while writing this:

Mama's Boy - Dominic Fike (Sped Up)

House of Gold - Twenty One Pilots

First Class - Jack Harlow

Poison - Hazbin Hotel (Sadly.)

Addict - SilvaHound

Alejandro - Lady Gaga

Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

Orion takes a deep breath as she places the bath bomb in the bath. She turned to face the bottle of bubble bath. She smiled and tears the packaging open as she pours it in the bathtub. She heard that bubble baths can soothe someone's soul or atleast calm people down in distress. She watches as the mixture forms into bubbles. 

She lets out a soft sigh of relief placing the bottle down, and dipping her body in the comfortable body of water now encased in bubbles. She was momentarily brought back to a simple time. She was already starting to feel better, she eases into the bubbly goodness then she felt the water draining, startled she gets up.

“What the fuck?” She mumbles, and shoots straight up. She saw the water drain into the drain pipes. In the reflection of the shiny water drain she saw her obvious frown. And she felt upset. She gets from the bathtub. She wraps herself in a bathrobe and storms downstairs, where Cell was sitting on the couch in the living room. He seems to be typing on his phone seemingly not aware of Orion’s presence in the room.

“What the fuck happened to the bath I was running?” Orion demands. 

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Cell snickers.

“Did you somehow remove the water?” She asked. 

“How can I do that?” Cell asked, he seemed to be annoyed.

“I don’t know, you have a knack for fucking with people.” Orion snarls.

“Why would I deliberately do all of that? Sure I won’t deny the allegation of “fucking with people” but why would I drain a bathtub? Be real.” Cell scoffs.

“Because you are a HAPPINESS DRAINER!” Orion snaps.

“Honey, I don’t drain or absorb feelings, I absorb people. Feelings are weak and pathetic. I have no use for them.” Cell scoffs, “And to be fair, even if I wanted to absorb feelings you’re the last person I’d consider.”

“What are you talking about?” Orion asked, offended. 

“How can I say this without seeming like a jerk… Hm, actually. I don’t care, I am going to be an asshole anyways. You seem to act like a “sad sack of shit” for attention.” Cell said. In quotations, Orion’s face twisted.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Orion demands.

“You seem to put on this face where everyone around you should feel bad for you because your boyfriend died, and that you cut yourself because of it. Like, we’re supposed to feel bad because you lost someone, big whoop de doo!” Cell said he seemed to find it amusing that she’s suffering so much.

“If it were up to me, I’d just tell you to get over it. Which, by the way I am.”

Orion’s eye twitches. “You have NO idea how I feel! Nor do you understand!”

“Oh, I perfectly understand, ahah. And that wasn’t a pun this time. Like, let’s see here. You were sad because someone close to you died, you decided to selfishly take your own life leaving behind people who sought to care for you, knowing you cannot go back once you died, you end up here and nearly killed because your idea of “fixing” things down here is by playing dollhouse and trying to redeem people who are monsters… And all of that coupled with the fact you’re fundamentally broken as a person… It’s safe to say you’re overcompensating for something… Am I correct?” Cell assumes. 

“Just because I am depressed doesn’t mean I am using it to fix other people! I just want to be helpful!” Orion snaps.

“You make it out to be like what you’re doing is saving us. The worst part is, what you’re doing is not going to help, what if this whole “redemption” plan fails? What are we going to do now? Nothing! Because we’ll be dead.” Cell deadpans. “The sooner you pull your head out of your ass, and come back to reality, the better we’d be without you.” 

Those words hurt, very much. Orion could feel the pain in her chest returning, and the feeling of being a burden returned, Cell hit a nerve that she didn’t know was possible. Usually she didn’t really mind his transgressions or rude behavior. But he hit a spot that shouldn’t have been hit at all.

“You have no idea what I am going through!” Orion snaps, through tears.

“I hope to Kami I don’t, I seriously cannot imagine a more weak way of being a burden to society and only contributing to it by being an obnoxious whelp with too much freetime on their hands.” Cell scoffs, “It’s silly, a pipedream as big as yours, and your own issues, you chose to help others instead of yourself.”

Orion shook, her heart pounding as Cell said those words. It cut deep in her soul. She always had a sneaking suspicion that what Cell felt was true. Those words he said to her numerous times were in a way, hateful. Even when she’s high, and completely detached from reality, she can't shrug off the thoughts. 

“You’re right…” Orion mustered the courage to say, Cell arched an non-existent eyebrow, “I’m weak, I can barely even fix myself, so how can I fix all of you?”

Cell was confused, “Are you agreeing with me just so you can get me to shut up? Because if that’s the case then that shit isn’t work-” 

“No, I am serious. Thanks for helping me, I… I guess I have time to reflect…”

“Are you seriously giving up right now?” Cell manages to laugh out. “How much of a fucking pushover do you have to be? So you really have to please me just by agreeing with what I said? Is that it?”

“That's all I CAN DO! There’s nothing in this world I can do to fucking prove to anyone on how worth it I feel! I felt trapped and alone! That’s why I ended it! No one can understand my mind! HFIL, I don’t even understand MY OWN! I can barely even sleep, eat or do any basic things without feeling like I have to rely on other people! I’m a fucking burden to society and I know it! I don’t have to be told by a being of perfection as you!” She yelled.

Cell was momentarily taken aback. Before recovering. “Why don’t you kill yourself then? You can feel something, I don’t fucking care. Maybe someone else would. All I hear is crying from you. Seriously.” 

Orion took a deep breath, and ran off shoving Goz out of the way, and Zarbon who witnessed everything was completely upset. 

“What the hell was that about Cell?!” Zarbon yells.

“What? She’ll live. Depression isn’t real anyways it’s just an excuse for people to be lazy and uninspired. Why do you guys treat it as a big deal anyways?” Cell scoffs, placing down his phone.

“It’s a real thing! People have it all the time!” Zarbon said exasperated, “You can’t just go around telling people with any form of depression to off themselves! Especially if we don’t know what might happen if we die again!”

“Zarbon, buddy, you are taking this too seriously. She’s doing this for attention. She’ll be back to her normal self in no time.” Cell wrapped an arm around Zarbon, pointing in his chest. A thud noise was heard, and Cell chose to ignore it. 

“Oh really? Back to her old self huh?” Zarbon sarcastically said, “If she dies because of you, then I’m not going to forgive you.”

“It’s not my loss if she does anyways! It’s no skin off my back! We all do terrible things once and awhile so causing someone to die isn’t a big deal!” Cell scoffs. 

“It is, when you put into perspective how much she’s sacrificing for you. She’s trying to redeem you and all you’re doing is hurting your chances at ever seeing any real progress!” Zarbon snaps, “Like it or not, she’s the only good thing to have happened down here in years!” 

“Pssh, I don’t care if she’s a good person or bad person. She’s someone that needs to grow up.” Cell said.

“Well, can you live with the fact that you’d gambled someone’s life away? Over three words that can actually fuck with someone?” Zarbon asked.

“Gambled? I have better chances at the lottery than that!” Cell sarcastically said.

“Cell, I’m serious, if you don’t go and fix this, I’m literally going to tell everyone you killed the only thing that can help us.” Zarbon seriously said.

“How the HFIL am I supposed to fix this!?” Cell asked.

“I don’t know, do something!” Zarbon snaps.

“Why can’t you fix this?” Cell exclaims.

“Because I wasn’t the one who told a Depressed Suicidal person to “Kill Themselves” now did I?” Zarbon asked. 

“No.” Cell responded.

“Exactly.” Zarbon said, Cell groans and gets up. 

“I’m letting this be known right now, this majorly inconveniences me.” Cell complains.

“You only have yourself to blame.” Zarbon called. Cell rolled his eyes. 

Orion was in her room holding onto the pillow to her chest as she sobbed into it. She already had the means to take her life. After all, she still had the switchblade that took it once, so she can figure it out. 

Why did she have to be a burden to people? She didn’t know what to do. She knew that Cell was right. She was contributing to a cause that was bound to be flawed. She was doing all this to… Well, fulfill some sort of validation. Something she lacked. She rolled over and eyed the switchblade that laid enticingly as a way to… seduce her to do it again. Its sharp ridges are still sharp and not dull. She reaches out-

“Hello?” A voice calls, as a knocking was heard. It was Cell, Orion sniffled and held the pillow closer to her.

“Go away!” Orion snaps.

“Come on, I am here to help.” Cell said.

“After you said all those hurtful things? Fuck no.” Orion said.

“Look, I am here to talk to you…” Cell said. Orion pauses and silence is heard, she gets up.

“Okay, come in.” Orion said. Cell opened the door,  and she laid on the bed. Her back faced to Cell, he awkwardly sat down on her bed with his hands on his legs. 

There was silence for a while before Cell broke the silence. “I’m not going to pretend like I understand, because I don’t… But I just want to help. I want to understand.” 

Orion turned her head to face Cell with a look of bewilderment and she looked away. “How do you expect to understand something I barely understand?” Orion wipes the tears away.

“I’ll try. Just don’t expect me to understand what I am trying to tell you.” Cell explains more clearly. 

Orion sniffles, and she shakes. 

“Look, I want to apologize for what I said, I know what I said was… Harsh but I didn’t really think it through at all, I misjudged you, I didn’t think what you went through was… Well, “serious” I thought it was you seeking attention.” Cell apologizes. Orion hesitates and nods. 

“...Most people don’t understand…” Orion said, Cell nodded. 

“I want to try and understand. Please, tell me.” Cell finally got the words out.

“It hurts. Very much. I feel like everyday I’m drowning and I have two choices, drown or call for someone to be a safety net but inevitably drown with them. I obviously allowed myself to become an emotional kettle waiting to explode… And it happened. You said something that became a catalyst and… It hurt me badly.” Orion explains.

“I see, I… May I comfort you?” Cell asked. Orion wipes her eyes.

“You don’t have to ask…” Orion said. 

“I know it would’ve been smart too.” Cell replies, a little awkward about the inquiry. Orion went silent and nodded, she placed her head on his lap, he stroked her hair.

“I understand now. What I said was hurtful. You shouldn’t have to hear that… Especially since your brain probably tells you those things all the time.” Cell said Orion silently held on his legs while Cell pets her hair.

“I should also be held accountable, I yelled at you when I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” Orion apologizes. 

“You don’t need to apologize for anything, I was ignorant and played with your emotions. Although I should thank Zarbon for telling me to go after you. I shouldn’t have called you a burden. You are anything  but that knows this.” Cell said. 

“I… I feel like I am.” Orion said. 

“...And what if you're a burden? A burden has purpose! You are a purpose filled burden! Someone who has potential to become something greater! You already have a plan, an action. An idea! And we’re waiting for that to become a reality! No one truly is a bad burden. And even if these “rain clouds” are telling you these things. Let it be known that those are thoughts, and thoughts like those come and go.” Cell encourages.

“No amount of rude thoughts or cruel words are going to change my mind, and shouldn’t change yours either.” Cell smiles.

“You may not be perfect in your own eyes, but… I find you perfect. Not in the romantic sense but in the sense of admiring someone. Deep down, I believe in your idea, I want to be redeemed. But I suppose with my lack of believing in me I just… I said some things that I shouldn’t have said.” Cell admitted. 

“But we all fuck up and that’s part of being human. To be honest these emotions are confusing and hard to navigate. I don’t know… How to understand them.” Cell admitted as well. 

“Well, what do you feel?” Orion asked.

“I feel flattered and pretty much… Respectful of you?” Cell said.

“You just admire me, I can see that… I care for you too. I want to see you succeed, I want you to be redeemed and I want to see you happy. Even if it means sacrificing my own happiness to see it through… I want you to be the best possible version, for Heaven… For me.” Orion said. 

“No, if you’re going to sacrifice anything then let me work together with you… I want to carry the burden off your shoulder and show that you are worthy of care. I want to help you too, I help you, you help me.” Cell smiled.

“We’re in this together.”

<Last Chapter >Next Chapter

A03 | WATTPAD | FF.NET | QUOTEV

If you want to be tagged in updates for this fic, please let me know.

[panelshowsource]

it's strange to you that people talk about not having seen charlie brooker in a while because he might be on a future episode of a show that hasn't been confirmed let alone aired yet? seems a bit unfair

charlie's certainly been very busy writing and producing lots of series! some people may not know he created the beloved cunk on britain and is now working on cunk on earth, he worked on the death to 2020 mockumentary, off the back of bandersnatch he wrote and produced a kids show for netflix called cat burglar. he's a busy man! but we were used to seeing him in the panel show sphere for so long that naturally the once-every-couple-years appearance doesn't fulfill the painful nostalgia sadly

hahahahahahaha that is soooooo funny to think about and i can hardly disagree with you. but omg victoria in the woods? VICTORIA? pleaseeeeee 😭

glad you're having fun! :')

i do remember it! i was (and am!) a huuuge doctor who fan and got into panel shows as a kid because i was following people like tennant and (speaking of problematic "comedic" behaviour of the noughties) barrowman, who would sometimes appear on them, and i feel like i remember — am i remembering correctly? i swear this happened — barrowman was on quiz night and ran on stage and ate shit? like he fell face first into the floor? something like that, and the whole studio went silent! that sticks out in my mind hahaha

that show is a prime example of how a 12yo american girl can know who, like, clare balding is. because people ask me allllll the time if i understand british cultural references and socio-political history, and i'm telling you shows like quiz night were how i absorbed some of the most random names and events! i also think quiz night was on the more adult end of the spectrum — compared to, like, the actual content of buzzcocks, wilty, argumental being easy for a kid to digest because it was mostly just adults shouting at each other about meaningless things — but quiz night felt like more of a brain exercise at that age, following more adult convos and banter than some of the other shows

still, even then i really never liked chris moyles. don't get me wrong, there's a fair share of 2000s/early 2010s british comedy and general british telly content i really love or just have strong nostalgia for, but there was a strong lad/ladette culture at the time that resulted in tons of homophobia and fatphobia, "taking the piss" that was actually just bullying, clarkson, you know what i mean — and chris was always one of the voices at the forefront of keeping that culture popular in radio and comedy, in my mind. so i always had a problem with him, even way back. honestly, i don't really like any of the big name djs like him, chris evans, johnny vaughn, etc. is he even a big thing anymore? i don't really know how his career trajectory went after leaving radio one

LMAO he must because i've seen plenty of his other outfits and they are certainly not grey, this is another one of his silly inside jokes — and by inside, i mean with himself — and i gotta admit it's worth a chuckle hehe

well no one's perfect :)

—

WATCH LINKS MASTERPOST / FAQ / TAGS / ASK

[xnixnbvg]

CONTENT WARNINGS: This chapter contains content not suitable for people who are easily disturbed. The following content contains mentions of suicide and depression and telling someone to kill themselves. Proceed with caution.

If you or a loved one is suffering from this, please call for help. It's only a call away.

This was written by the perspective of someone with the issue at hand. This is just a catalyst to future Cell and Orion interactions and ARE NOT going to be together yet, Cell will however have some new found respect for Orion.

Songs that I listened to while writing this:

Mama's Boy - Dominic Fike (Sped Up)

House of Gold - Twenty One Pilots

First Class - Jack Harlow

Poison - Hazbin Hotel (Sadly.)

Addict - SilvaHound

Alejandro - Lady Gaga

Bad Romance - Lady Gaga

Orion takes a deep breath as she places the bath bomb in the bath. She turned to face the bottle of bubble bath. She smiled and tears the packaging open as she pours it in the bathtub. She heard that bubble baths can soothe someone's soul or atleast calm people down in distress. She watches as the mixture forms into bubbles. 

She lets out a soft sigh of relief placing the bottle down, and dipping her body in the comfortable body of water now encased in bubbles. She was momentarily brought back to a simple time. She was already starting to feel better, she eases into the bubbly goodness then she felt the water draining, startled she gets up.

“What the fuck?” She mumbles, and shoots straight up. She saw the water drain into the drain pipes. In the reflection of the shiny water drain she saw her obvious frown. And she felt upset. She gets from the bathtub. She wraps herself in a bathrobe and storms downstairs, where Cell was sitting on the couch in the living room. He seems to be typing on his phone seemingly not aware of Orion’s presence in the room.

“What the fuck happened to the bath I was running?” Orion demands. 

“I don’t know, you tell me.” Cell snickers.

“Did you somehow remove the water?” She asked. 

“How can I do that?” Cell asked, he seemed to be annoyed.

“I don’t know, you have a knack for fucking with people.” Orion snarls.

“Why would I deliberately do all of that? Sure I won’t deny the allegation of “fucking with people” but why would I drain a bathtub? Be real.” Cell scoffs.

“Because you are a HAPPINESS DRAINER!” Orion snaps.

“Honey, I don’t drain or absorb feelings, I absorb people. Feelings are weak and pathetic. I have no use for them.” Cell scoffs, “And to be fair, even if I wanted to absorb feelings you’re the last person I’d consider.”

“What are you talking about?” Orion asked, offended. 

“How can I say this without seeming like a jerk… Hm, actually. I don’t care, I am going to be an asshole anyways. You seem to act like a “sad sack of shit” for attention.” Cell said. In quotations, Orion’s face twisted.

“What the fuck does that mean?” Orion demands.

“You seem to put on this face where everyone around you should feel bad for you because your boyfriend died, and that you cut yourself because of it. Like, we’re supposed to feel bad because you lost someone, big whoop de doo!” Cell said he seemed to find it amusing that she’s suffering so much.

“If it were up to me, I’d just tell you to get over it. Which, by the way I am.”

Orion’s eye twitches. “You have NO idea how I feel! Nor do you understand!”

“Oh, I perfectly understand, ahah. And that wasn’t a pun this time. Like, let’s see here. You were sad because someone close to you died, you decided to selfishly take your own life leaving behind people who sought to care for you, knowing you cannot go back once you died, you end up here and nearly killed because your idea of “fixing” things down here is by playing dollhouse and trying to redeem people who are monsters… And all of that coupled with the fact you’re fundamentally broken as a person… It’s safe to say you’re overcompensating for something… Am I correct?” Cell assumes. 

“Just because I am depressed doesn’t mean I am using it to fix other people! I just want to be helpful!” Orion snaps.

“You make it out to be like what you’re doing is saving us. The worst part is, what you’re doing is not going to help, what if this whole “redemption” plan fails? What are we going to do now? Nothing! Because we’ll be dead.” Cell deadpans. “The sooner you pull your head out of your ass, and come back to reality, the better we’d be without you.” 

Those words hurt, very much. Orion could feel the pain in her chest returning, and the feeling of being a burden returned, Cell hit a nerve that she didn’t know was possible. Usually she didn’t really mind his transgressions or rude behavior. But he hit a spot that shouldn’t have been hit at all.

“You have no idea what I am going through!” Orion snaps, through tears.

“I hope to Kami I don’t, I seriously cannot imagine a more weak way of being a burden to society and only contributing to it by being an obnoxious whelp with too much freetime on their hands.” Cell scoffs, “It’s silly, a pipedream as big as yours, and your own issues, you chose to help others instead of yourself.”

Orion shook, her heart pounding as Cell said those words. It cut deep in her soul. She always had a sneaking suspicion that what Cell felt was true. Those words he said to her numerous times were in a way, hateful. Even when she’s high, and completely detached from reality, she can't shrug off the thoughts. 

“You’re right…” Orion mustered the courage to say, Cell arched an non-existent eyebrow, “I’m weak, I can barely even fix myself, so how can I fix all of you?”

Cell was confused, “Are you agreeing with me just so you can get me to shut up? Because if that’s the case then that shit isn’t work-” 

“No, I am serious. Thanks for helping me, I… I guess I have time to reflect…”

“Are you seriously giving up right now?” Cell manages to laugh out. “How much of a fucking pushover do you have to be? So you really have to please me just by agreeing with what I said? Is that it?”

“That's all I CAN DO! There’s nothing in this world I can do to fucking prove to anyone on how worth it I feel! I felt trapped and alone! That’s why I ended it! No one can understand my mind! HFIL, I don’t even understand MY OWN! I can barely even sleep, eat or do any basic things without feeling like I have to rely on other people! I’m a fucking burden to society and I know it! I don’t have to be told by a being of perfection as you!” She yelled.

Cell was momentarily taken aback. Before recovering. “Why don’t you kill yourself then? You can feel something, I don’t fucking care. Maybe someone else would. All I hear is crying from you. Seriously.” 

Orion took a deep breath, and ran off shoving Goz out of the way, and Zarbon who witnessed everything was completely upset. 

“What the hell was that about Cell?!” Zarbon yells.

“What? She’ll live. Depression isn’t real anyways it’s just an excuse for people to be lazy and uninspired. Why do you guys treat it as a big deal anyways?” Cell scoffs, placing down his phone.

“It’s a real thing! People have it all the time!” Zarbon said exasperated, “You can’t just go around telling people with any form of depression to off themselves! Especially if we don’t know what might happen if we die again!”

“Zarbon, buddy, you are taking this too seriously. She’s doing this for attention. She’ll be back to her normal self in no time.” Cell wrapped an arm around Zarbon, pointing in his chest. A thud noise was heard, and Cell chose to ignore it. 

“Oh really? Back to her old self huh?” Zarbon sarcastically said, “If she dies because of you, then I’m not going to forgive you.”

“It’s not my loss if she does anyways! It’s no skin off my back! We all do terrible things once and awhile so causing someone to die isn’t a big deal!” Cell scoffs. 

“It is, when you put into perspective how much she’s sacrificing for you. She’s trying to redeem you and all you’re doing is hurting your chances at ever seeing any real progress!” Zarbon snaps, “Like it or not, she’s the only good thing to have happened down here in years!” 

“Pssh, I don’t care if she’s a good person or bad person. She’s someone that needs to grow up.” Cell said.

“Well, can you live with the fact that you’d gambled someone’s life away? Over three words that can actually fuck with someone?” Zarbon asked.

“Gambled? I have better chances at the lottery than that!” Cell sarcastically said.

“Cell, I’m serious, if you don’t go and fix this, I’m literally going to tell everyone you killed the only thing that can help us.” Zarbon seriously said.

“How the HFIL am I supposed to fix this!?” Cell asked.

“I don’t know, do something!” Zarbon snaps.

“Why can’t you fix this?” Cell exclaims.

“Because I wasn’t the one who told a Depressed Suicidal person to “Kill Themselves” now did I?” Zarbon asked. 

“No.” Cell responded.

“Exactly.” Zarbon said, Cell groans and gets up. 

“I’m letting this be known right now, this majorly inconveniences me.” Cell complains.

“You only have yourself to blame.” Zarbon called. Cell rolled his eyes. 

Orion was in her room holding onto the pillow to her chest as she sobbed into it. She already had the means to take her life. After all, she still had the switchblade that took it once, so she can figure it out. 

Why did she have to be a burden to people? She didn’t know what to do. She knew that Cell was right. She was contributing to a cause that was bound to be flawed. She was doing all this to… Well, fulfill some sort of validation. Something she lacked. She rolled over and eyed the switchblade that laid enticingly as a way to… seduce her to do it again. Its sharp ridges are still sharp and not dull. She reaches out-

“Hello?” A voice calls, as a knocking was heard. It was Cell, Orion sniffled and held the pillow closer to her.

“Go away!” Orion snaps.

“Come on, I am here to help.” Cell said.

“After you said all those hurtful things? Fuck no.” Orion said.

“Look, I am here to talk to you…” Cell said. Orion pauses and silence is heard, she gets up.

“Okay, come in.” Orion said. Cell opened the door,  and she laid on the bed. Her back faced to Cell, he awkwardly sat down on her bed with his hands on his legs. 

There was silence for a while before Cell broke the silence. “I’m not going to pretend like I understand, because I don’t… But I just want to help. I want to understand.” 

Orion turned her head to face Cell with a look of bewilderment and she looked away. “How do you expect to understand something I barely understand?” Orion wipes the tears away.

“I’ll try. Just don’t expect me to understand what I am trying to tell you.” Cell explains more clearly. 

Orion sniffles, and she shakes. 

“Look, I want to apologize for what I said, I know what I said was… Harsh but I didn’t really think it through at all, I misjudged you, I didn’t think what you went through was… Well, “serious” I thought it was you seeking attention.” Cell apologizes. Orion hesitates and nods. 

“...Most people don’t understand…” Orion said, Cell nodded. 

“I want to try and understand. Please, tell me.” Cell finally got the words out.

“It hurts. Very much. I feel like everyday I’m drowning and I have two choices, drown or call for someone to be a safety net but inevitably drown with them. I obviously allowed myself to become an emotional kettle waiting to explode… And it happened. You said something that became a catalyst and… It hurt me badly.” Orion explains.

“I see, I… May I comfort you?” Cell asked. Orion wipes her eyes.

“You don’t have to ask…” Orion said. 

“I know it would’ve been smart too.” Cell replies, a little awkward about the inquiry. Orion went silent and nodded, she placed her head on his lap, he stroked her hair.

“I understand now. What I said was hurtful. You shouldn’t have to hear that… Especially since your brain probably tells you those things all the time.” Cell said Orion silently held on his legs while Cell pets her hair.

“I should also be held accountable, I yelled at you when I shouldn’t have. I’m sorry.” Orion apologizes. 

“You don’t need to apologize for anything, I was ignorant and played with your emotions. Although I should thank Zarbon for telling me to go after you. I shouldn’t have called you a burden. You are anything  but that knows this.” Cell said. 

“I… I feel like I am.” Orion said. 

“...And what if you're a burden? A burden has purpose! You are a purpose filled burden! Someone who has potential to become something greater! You already have a plan, an action. An idea! And we’re waiting for that to become a reality! No one truly is a bad burden. And even if these “rain clouds” are telling you these things. Let it be known that those are thoughts, and thoughts like those come and go.” Cell encourages.

“No amount of rude thoughts or cruel words are going to change my mind, and shouldn’t change yours either.” Cell smiles.

“You may not be perfect in your own eyes, but… I find you perfect. Not in the romantic sense but in the sense of admiring someone. Deep down, I believe in your idea, I want to be redeemed. But I suppose with my lack of believing in me I just… I said some things that I shouldn’t have said.” Cell admitted. 

“But we all fuck up and that’s part of being human. To be honest these emotions are confusing and hard to navigate. I don’t know… How to understand them.” Cell admitted as well. 

“Well, what do you feel?” Orion asked.

“I feel flattered and pretty much… Respectful of you?” Cell said.

“You just admire me, I can see that… I care for you too. I want to see you succeed, I want you to be redeemed and I want to see you happy. Even if it means sacrificing my own happiness to see it through… I want you to be the best possible version, for Heaven… For me.” Orion said. 

“No, if you’re going to sacrifice anything then let me work together with you… I want to carry the burden off your shoulder and show that you are worthy of care. I want to help you too, I help you, you help me.” Cell smiled.

“We’re in this together.”

<Last Chapter >Next Chapter

A03 | WATTPAD | FF.NET | QUOTEV

If you want to be tagged in updates for this fic, please let me know.

[forgotteneabha]

Éabha had been absorbed, her arms crossed around herself, watching her younger siblings bickering about -- she knew not what but Cormac, unsurprisingly, was already in tears -- and wondering if she ought to interfere, when she heard Aria's voice floating across to her. Thinking, at first, that she was speaking of her lordly brother, she frowned slightly. It was...true. Cormac did mean well. It, alone, however, did not make him a good lord and it did not make him someone Éabha would have thought Aria quick to defend, so she turned swiftly to face the princess, sure she must have misunderstood.

As Aria gestured to her elbow, Éabha found herself glancing down at it thoughtfully. It was a strange feeling, this one: the certainty that this was the right thingto do in constant conflict with the certainty that it was wrong. Éabha did not want to trap a man -- any man -- into a marriage, even for the right ones...and particularly not one that she was increasingly coming to realized she actually liked. But she had her duty too, and acclaimed or not, she was her father's heiress -- the rule of Hanthom and Calleary fell to her. She had to do whatever she possibly could for the good of all those people.

Alaric, she told herself, must expect this. He was a duke and himself a prince as well: that marriage should come with such bitter strings attached, she reassured herself, was simply to be expected, so really what trust did she break? But, still, the idea of using someone hung heavy on her shoulders.

"Yes," she smiled a bit sadly. "He is kind."

Éabha glanced off to where he stood, conversing with his brother and nephews. That he was kind was, in truth, a surprise. It was part of why she had thought he would be a good choice: she would not have to feel so very guilty about trapping a horrid man. But he wasn't horrid, at all.

"I find, Aria," she began softly, turning to look at her. "I find...They surprise me, most of them." She looked again, brow knitted with that same astonishment. "I thought I knew what to expect."

Alaric wasn't the only surprising one: Sebastian was thoughtful; Edmund amusing; Arthur warm; and that was without touching on the ladies of the family (Amira, however, had proved to be precisely what Éabha might have expeced). Yes, they'd taken her quite by surprise. But none of that changed the facts: they were conquerors and invaders. And Roderick had chopped her father's head off in front of her.

Her own cares were swallowed up in the sound of Aria's jest, however. Instantly a flush of cold ran along her skin till gooseflesh stood out though the day was fine and warm and clear. She felt sick as she looked away and, impulsively, she seized Aria's arm, tangling it affectionately with her own. This was not wise, perhaps: to appear too cozy with Astaira's former rulers, as an Astairan, herself, did her own goals no particular good, but she could not ignore her friend's pain. Sad as the words, themselves, were, it was not the content of her speech, but the delivery that Éabha shook so. The strange, sad echo of an Aria that had been: a jest delivered as quick and bemusedly as ever, yet so black as it was, without even a flinch. Éabha knew there was no real comfort to offer save this, this little solidarity she could give, though she could not imagine how two years of capvitity -- and in one's own home, no less! -- might weigh upon one.

Éabha had no clever rebuttal and, equally, no soothing words to gild such sorrow into something they might stomach. All she could do was sit with it. "Oh, Aria," she murmured, her face awash with painful compassion. "How it must be for you..." What she meant, but did not say, was 'how awful it must be,' but that, that must under no circumstances pass her lips. The implication danced too close to the truth, as it was. "But, surely...There are such high walls around the interior courtyard..." She wished to hear that that had been an exaggeration. Somehow...she knew it was not.

As Aria changed the subject, Éabha glanced thoughtfully towards the now-empty clearing. The yard still was swaddled in dust from the recent exertions of horse and man, alike, but dappled in wafting shade from those nearby trees which had survived Roderick's Pyre Walk, one might for an instant imagine it peaceful once more. She bit her lip.

"I--They are certainly different from our own." She arched her brows in half-jest. She knew Aria would take her meaning well enough without having to air her own opinions too publically here. "I imagine you and I could baffle all these powerful knights into silence with a three-legged race," she teased, squeezing Aria's arm affectionately. "No doubt it would astonish them as much as these games do us."

Éabha's face took on a more serious expression at the mention of their fathers and, dipping her head slightly, she scanned the ground in thought before returning her gaze to Aria's. Her voice was strangely warm as she spoke, turning her gaze back towards the lists. It was, at least, a way to voice the truth. "That is a foolish question, Aria. You know good and well that my father was executed as a traitor." She turned back to Aria. "He would have detested every single aspect of this." Her smile was triumphant. Her smile was sad. "What do you imagine the late king would have said?"

Relationship Advice | Éabha + Aria

"He is kind enough, all things considered."

It felt good to be out of the sun for a few moments after multiple days spent in the stands. Her body was stiff from sitting for so long, not to mention how tense she found herself when the tourney events were actually taking place. Despite the fact the fact her long suffering guard was still lurking in her peripheral, she was allowed to walk about the tent with the other court members and those Roderick deemed acceptable to socialize with the Imperial family... and their captives.

Aria had seen the Calleary crest on the ribbon tied around Alaric Varmont's arm when he'd first entered the tournament grounds. She'd witnessed the knowing smile on Queen Marian's face when the woman had seen it, too, and wondered if there was to be an understanding between Éabha and the Duke of Farrington soon. Aria had always assumed the Callearys were frequent dinner guests because they were Ciara's cousins-- why else would the Emperor insist on being subjected to Cormac that often?-- but perhaps it was for the benefit of the Emperor's younger brother.

Éabha seemed to look a bit confused, first at Aria's statement and second because the younger of the Stafford's had started the conversation without so much as a greeting.

"The Duke," Aria explained, gesturing to her arm to indicate where a favor would be tied, should she have one. "He is kind..." she paused. "In his way. I'm sure you know this, of course..." Aria paused for a moment.

"Or perhaps he is much kinder to you than he even is to me. Perhaps he allows you to wander in the interior courtyard without too many guards, too?" Aria laughed a bit at the statement until she realized it was a little... dark.

Aria was suddenly struck how odd it felt to be out of the castle like this-- even if it was still on the Citadel grounds-- and to be allowed to socialize, even watched as she was, in a somewhat normal fashion. She felt wildly out of practice.

"Are... are you enjoying these... games?" Aria didn't think watching men acting out violent acts was much of a game, but she knew better than to be contrary while surrounded by members of the Varmont court. "... I find I've been wondering what our fathers might have thought about events such as this..."

[autisticlenaluthor]

okie new prompt in case you’re still taking them: cuddles cuddles cuddles

this is actually a scene from library au that meant to be included a few chapters back but i ended up forgetting about. i love it though and it is literally 100% cuddles

---

Lena frowned; rested her head below Kara’s chin. As her eyes shut, tears began to overflow once more. The heaviness in her chest was too overbearing. So oppressive that even after weeks of trudging through, it was hard to remember there was still an end in sight.

Over the past few days, so much of her being had been drained that now, the mere task of keeping herself conscious had become almost intolerable. So Lena just sat there, silent and still as Kara held her, and absorbed the feeling over her forbearing touch.

“Okay?” Kara signed against Lena’s arm, doing her best to check-in without having Lena open her eyes.

They’d been sitting together for some time now, talking and muddling through. It was the first time all week she’d mentioned what happened at the manor, the first time she’d allow herself to acknowledge her birth mother in front of Kara. 

“Lena?” This time Kara didn’t sign, just spoke. 

But Lena picked up on the vibrations. She hummed in response and nodded, holding her own hand up to Kara’s chest and resting it there so she could talk when she was ready.

She hadn’t signed much so far, but Kara never pushed Lena to explain. She’d let Lena stay with her in silence for as long as she needed, content with just the notion of being together. For that, Lena could already feel a piece of the weight lifted off her shoulders.

Every minute since the discovery at the manor, Lena had spent with Lex and Lillian sitting on her shoulders. She’d gone through the box again, this time more thoroughly so she’d be able to look at everything in one sitting. Inside, Lena had found VHS tapes she couldn’t yet bring herself to watch, items of clothing she’d worn as a toddler, and information on the savings account her mom had set up with a small college fund. A week had passed since the initial incident, but still, Lena was stuck in that hole, desperately trying to claw her way out.

“I’m so sorry about all this, honey,” Kara whispered.

She stroked Lena’s wispy curls, drawing in a long, steady breath as she pressed an ephemeral kiss to her hairline. Lena managed the slightest smile at the touch. She moved her hand across Kara’s chest, stopping once she could feel the steady rhythm of Kara’s heart against her palm. It reminded her of a drum, pounding out a steady rhythm just for her.

“I wish you didn’t have to deal with this. I wish I...” Kara sighed, traced the pink patches beneath Lena’s eyes, and brushed away her tears. “I don’t know…”

Lena nodded in acknowledgment. She almost didn’t mind not knowing what Kara was saying. She knew that she was speaking, that she was there, and that in itself was enough.

Lena was sure if the world allowed her, she’d lie there with Kara forever. All she wanted was that momentary calmness she got when they were together, that shred of tranquility powerful enough that for just a second, Lena could forget about the world above and simply exist.

It was everything she could’ve asked for. To exist with Kara and not have to keep forcing herself through the trenches. To stop having to figure out what was real and what wasn’t, to stop being so weak in the knees that she couldn’t help but blame herself every time something went wrong.

Balling her hand into a fist, Lena made a circular motion against Kara’s chest. She did it over and over again, repeating the word with the hope that maybe if she did it enough, it would finally mean something. 

It didn’t take long before Kara tapped her shoulder. She lifted Lena’s chin with her finger, smiling sadly when she saw the tears that stained her face. 

“Why?” She signed. She only used one hand. The other cupped Lena’s cheek in her palm. “Why are you sorry?” 

Lena sniffed and shrugged. A fresh tear rolled out, her face crumbling once more. 

“Because I’m a mess… making you hold me like—”

“—Like you deserve to be held.” 

Kara took Lena’s hand in hers, setting it on her lap before she could argue. 

“Because you do,” she signed. “Just like you deserve to be loved, and taken care of and—”

Lena shook her head. 

“You do,” Kara signed, offering the most gentle smile. “You can argue all you want but I know I’m right. And I know you’re stubborn, but I think you underestimate how persistent I am, Lena.” 

Lena hesitated, carefully considering Kara’s words. She knew she could persist. Maybe part of her still wanted to. But even so, she didn’t have to. Didn’t want to.  

Growing up, everyone had always told her the same thing. Lena wasn’t good enough, wasn’t smart enough, or strong enough. She deserved to be punished and berated and humiliated and put in her place so she wouldn’t act so-- so unbearably Lena.

She’d gotten it her entire life. From every single person who crossed her path-- they always found a way to critique her. 

But now, Kara was saying exactly the opposite. Her words dripped with care, hands warm with merciful touch that Lena could bask in forever. She couldn’t fathom why, but Kara truly seemed to believe every good thing she said. And maybe, on some level, if Lena could believe all those insults that had been forced down her throat for decades on end, she could at least try to believe Kara, too.

So instead of fighting, Lena allowed her head to fall back against Kara’s chest as she reclaimed the spot where she now knew she was safest. 

“I’m right here,” Kara whispered and welcomed Lena into her embrace once more. Lena wrapped her arms around Kara’s neck, burying her face in the crook by her jaw. She repeated Kara’s words in her head as she cried, willing herself with all her might to let them exist without protest. 

“Hey, I learned some new signs, can I show you?” Kara asked when she felt Lena tense back up against her.

Lena couldn’t see Kara’s face, but from the phrase alone, she could imagine the nervous smile she must’ve worn, the hope in her expression that Lena would say yes. So she curled even closer into Kara’s chest, a whimper escaping her lips as she nodded and lifted her hand. 

“Yes, of course,” Lena signed. She let Kara adjust her so she was seated upright on her thighs. This way, Lena would see what she was signing without her movement becoming restricted, but could still lay sideways with her head on Kara’s shoulder. 

“This one’s my favorite, I like doing it for fun,” Kara said. She bent her arm at the elbow, made a light fist with her hand, and extended her index finger. She moved it forward in a hopping motion, repeating the gesture a few times just for extra emphasis. 

“Dinosaur,” Lena signed back. She could feel Kara laughing, the gentle vibrations enough to bring a smile to her lips.

“It looks like a real dinosaur,” Kara commented. She made the sign with her left hand and wiggled her index finger. “That part’s the head.” 

Lena nodded and chuckled tearfully, repeating the motion and moving her hand towards Kara’s. She touched her index finger— or neck of the imaginary dinosaur, to Kara’s, laughing quietly to herself at the gesture. 

“My dinosaur gives yours a kiss,” she signed upon noticing Kara’s confused expression. 

“Oh.” Kara smiled and brushed her finger against Lena’s once more. 

“What’s your favorite sign?” She asked. 

Lena shrugged. “Hug?”

Kara wasn’t sure if Lena was using that as an example, or if she was asking for one. But she decided to go with the latter and wrap Lena up in her arms. Lena accepted the contact and draped her arms around Kara’s neck, burrowing her face in the small of her neck. 

It didn’t take long for her to snuggle even closer, to hold Kara as tightly as she could, and hope they could stay like this for just a little while longer.

When she finally pulled away she looked at Kara, eyes glistening with tears as she smiled. 

“That wasn’t what you meant, was it?” Kara asked. 

Lena shrugged once more, this time, laughing when she saw how hard Kara was trying to work the whole thing out in her head. 

“You know, I’m starting to think you didn’t want to show me your favorite sign, you just wanted me to hug you.” 

“Really?” Lena quirked an eyebrow. “You think I’m just using you for cuddles?” 

Kara nodded and sighed dramatically. “It’s really unfortunate too; I thought we had something great here. But alas, all you really wanted was to be held in my strong, Kryptonian arms, and--” 

Lena pushed down Kara’s hands. She began to laugh even louder at the Totally Real look of offense that had crossed Kara’s face and shook her head. 

“Stop!” She signed, dragging out the word as she giggled. 

“Make me,” Kara teased.

“Okay.” 

Without giving it a second thought, Lena reached out and took hold of Kara’s face to pull her close. She couldn’t help but laugh again as she kissed her, giggles that still hadn’t subsided by the time she pulled away. 

“What?” Kara asked. “What’s so funny?” 

“Nothing, that’s just what the hearing people do in movies,” Lena explained. “It doesn’t really work if the words are coming from your hands, not your mouth.” 

“Yeah, I guess that’s true,” Kara signed with a chuckle. “But still, feel free to get me to stop talking like that, any time.” 

“Oh, I will.” 

Kara smiled as Lena leaned back against her. 

“Are you feeling any better?” 

Lena shook her head. “Not yet, no. But I think now, I’m starting to feel like this… whatever it is… like it won’t be with me forever.” 

Kara hummed, nodding. “Well, at least, that’s something.”

[quitealotofsodapop]

MvA assorted headcanons

General:

So many years together has made the core monsters inseperable. If something affects one member, it affects the group.

All. The. Monsters. Are. Family.

It takes Susan a while to understand inside jokes and past incidents because of being the most recent addition.

There are Other anomalous creatures kept in Area 5X, but they are either non-sentient and/or are too dangerous to be kept around the more human-friendly monster group.

Area 5X is so gotdang big because they were expecting a lot more kaijus like Insecto to crop up. Sadly not many have surfaced to justify the space.

There’s a hangar in Area 5X full of wrecked UFOs. Some are spacecraft wreckage while others are stuff like weird meteors (Susan’s is in there), and at least one alien creature that got crystallised upon entering Earth’s atmosphere.

There’s significant difference in staff employed at different points throughout the past 50 years. There are far more women on the Area 5X worksheet than back in the 50s, and the guards are generally more sympathetic towards the monsters. Many modern staff members have been reprimanded or let go for failing to uphold secrecy, or for unnecessary cruelty towards the monsters.

Budget cuts were a legitmate concern up until the Battle of Golden Gate Bridge. The facility was far more barebones and sterile before the government had to formally recognise Area 5X’s importance. There have been a lot of redecorating at the facilty since the fat checks started coming in.

Putting individual characters under read due to length.

Susan:

Enjoys many hobbies considered stereotypically feminine; baking, sewing, cosmetics, etc...

Grandparents and extended family are farmers or are atleast connected to the business. Modesto is the agricultural centre of California after all. Her parents were the first of their generation to go against the mold and seek out white-collar careers.

Studied cosmetology in school and was working at a beauty salon to save up for her and Derek’s wedding.

Is very athletic and grew up doing a number of physical extracurriculars like cheerleading, dodgeball, and roller-derby.

Grew up being teased for being the shortest kid in her class/family. They still tease her for it.

Greatly fears causing collateral damage and/or harm to others through her size.

Has issues with anxiety, worsened only by her new job as “savior of earth”. She wishes for a confidant to tell her worries to.

Married life with Derek was doomed to fail. Susan had a plan in place for what came after the marriage, and focusing 100% on Derek’s career was not it. There’s also the line from Derek’s mother about Susan being “the weatherman’s wife”, implying that she was to be the homemaker and not have a career of her own. It’s possible that Susan was planning to settle down and have kids with Derek, but the lack of control she had in moving to Fresno implied that more was going on.

Is currently “taking a break” from love and dating, despite gaining many new admirers.

Tries her best to return to Modesto to visit her family and friends whenever possible, though work often keeps her away for weeks at a time.

If she retains her height-shifting abilities as in the series; Susan goes through really bad “growing” pains.

Link:

Was frozen in his relative late-teens during a cold snap. Got shifted around until he ended up somewhere in Greenland before being discovered by modern humans. Post-thaw he went a bit wild, swimming frantically back south to try and find his old enviroment.

Was one of many scrappy youngsters in his troop, with a number of adoptive parents. The strongest ruled the troop, and Link was fairly weak in comparision to the leaders. He had gotten into a fight the day of his freezing (over something silly in hindsight) and swam away to sulk. When he didn’t return after the cold snap - the troop accepted that he had likely died out on his own.

Likes to freak out humans by making up weird biology facts about his species and ones he’s fought against - like joking about laying eggs or having his tail dettach and regrow like a lizard. However there’s some things he has to ask about, because he doesn’t have medical knowledge or words to describe something.

A lot of his macho behavior came from imitating the guards who kept watch on him. 1950s violent military alpha males aren't a very good role model for someone who doesnt know what societal norms are yet. Link was a lot more insufferable back in the day but chilled out as he began interacting with other walks of life.

Has a high paternal instinct and immediately becomes softer around kids and smaller animals.

Has body language similar to a cat/alligator. Slaps his tail when angry or in deep thought. And yes; Link purrs/rumbles when happy.

Loves monster movies - especially the ones where the monsters “win”. He cried when he saw “Beauty and the Beast” and then immediately booed loudly when the Beast turned human.

Does Not Trust doctors or scientists due to bad past experiences. Will only go to Dr Cockroach and Monger if he ever gets hurt/ill. Gets stressed fast if he has to be in a waiting room or doctors office.

Link had no idea what gender indentities or orientations were until recently - he did come from a pre-human civilization that really didnt mind/care about the schemantics. It took him some time to wrap his head around it. He identifies himself as bisexual after much thought and many hours alone on the computer.

Don't press him about his body. He's built different from humans and cis people. He will punch anyone who doesnt respect his or anyone elses identity.

Has been in love before. It didn’t end well.

Will occasionally wear clothes, but finds it a challenge to find anything that fits him. Will give any shoes he finds to Dr Cockroach and BOB to eat.

The best driver/pilot out of all the monsters.

Dr Cockroach:

True name is Jaques-Yves Herbert. Prefers to just go by "Dr Cockroach" because he dislikes the association with his birth family.

Picks up human languages very easily, although not as quickly as he can understand animals.

Parents were a mixed scientist couple. His father was an aggressive “Strong British Man” that would beat him son down for not following orders or for not meeting his standards for a man. Dr C turned down both chances to attend his parents funerals.

This man isn’t straight. He probably uses old-fashioned slang when asked about romance such as; “I am Uranian” or “I wear a green carnation”. It took Susan a few times to realise what he meant, as she is used to a more open minded enviroment.

Got the idea of transforming into a cockroach from reading Franz Kafkas “The Metamorphosis” as a child. He sympathized with Gregor’s abusive situation, and began considering the possibilties of how one could survive better as a creature like a cockroach.

Studied in biology and entomology in the Uk before moving to the states to follow engineering. Obtained his degree in Dance as a “side gig” in University.

Has been barred from free access to the coffee maker/machine due to overnighters. Once stayed awake so long that he forgot the letter “R”.

Owned a terrarium of Madagascar Hissing Cockroaches throughout college. He mourned each of them when his roommate’s iguana got into the tank.

Was a "beatnik" back in the day and still kinda is. Embraces and encourages modern counterculture as he himself was not given such acceptance in his youth. He has however shamefully eaten his old Lenny Bruce album.

Hasn’t actually aged physically since his transformation. He attributes this to the fact that certain athropods can’t age physically beyond maturity. Link is very jealous.

Has obtained more degrees while in captivity, as Monger allowed him access to research and learning materials. He has however had his allowances revoked for previous escape attempts/doomsday devices.

Does still enjoy human food, but the cockroach instinct of "eat detritus" tends to overrule his eating choices. Can’t cook either.

Ironically a terrible driver. The damages from previous drives has made Monger restrict him from operating even a razor scooter.

BOB:

Pretty much considers himself human. Was created by them, raised by one (Monger), and talks like one. Gets sad when he's reminded that no other humans are blue blobs like him.

Absorbed some dna from the scientists present at his "birth", leading to his eye, speech, and omnivorous diet.

Doesnt actually need to breathe (as he can just absorb oxygen through his mass) but the fact that humans Do means that BOB thinks he has to as well.

Shares some physical characteristics with tomatoes/nightshade plants, as he is technically half tomato. He refuses to eat tomatos for this very reason, considering it cannibalism.

Attracts garden pests looking for a tomato plant. This unwittingly makes BOB a pretty good bug zapper.

Still retains his "mental broadcast" ability from "BOB's Big Break" although at a more subtle level. He tends to parrot the things he accidentally "eavesdropped" on.

Is empathetic, and can tell when others aren't doing ok emotionally. Will flop down on someone who’s really sad to comfort them. No brain, only heart.

Best cook out of the monsters. If he doesn’t forget what he’s making at least.

"Whats a gender? Can I eat it?"

Insectosaurus:

Core body is that of a Japanese Silkmoth, although she ended up being spliced with other animals present on the island during her initial mutation; namely ants and ground squirrels.

Eats over a literal ton of mulberry leaves per day. Also enjoys oranges.

Secretly wishes to be more humanoid.

Was only able to pupate and transform due to physical trauma. It seems that her transformation was like a “power-up” that required her to be in geniune distress for it to activate.

First language is Japanese. She learned it from the intial recovery team, and later developed an understanding of English from years in Area 5X.

Goes into torpor in cold weather. Pretty much impossible to wake her up for missions during Winter, as she needs to “rev up” before becoming mobile.

Still very much Link’s best friend. Still enjoys sports, chicks, and beer.

Monger:

Full name is; Warren Rex Monger.

Is very protective of the monsters and will defend them to the death.

Pretty much raised BOB (as seen when BOB was a baby blob in “Night of the Living Carrots”), and considers him his “freaky gelatinous son”.

Has a reputation of being a “control-freak” due to his aggressive overseeing of the monsters’ containment. This toughness is partly because of incidents that occured without his knowledge. Lets just say some scientists have been wedgied/fired for running experiments on the monsters without Monger’s approval.

Has a very “Ron Swanson” emotional response and view of the world. Crying is acceptable only at funerals and at the Grand Canyon (if he hadn’t lost his tear ducts in the war).

Has been married multiple times. Will not confirm or deny if he is currently seeing anyone.

Invisible Man/TiM:

Legit got out but no one at Area 5X is sure how. He suffered a geniune medical emergency and disappeared after surgery. The other monsters were informed that he died from complications to deter them from getting escape ideas.

Is able to be detected in Infrared light. Dr Cockroach managed to rig up goggles to view TiM in case of injury and to foil pranks.

Was a scientist working on an invisibility potion for the military and used himself as a guinea pig. Hasn’t actually been able to replicate his results since - thinks the effect may have been caused by a genetic abnormality.

Dr Cockroach and him are massive rivals. Both actually met eachother pre-transformation through a CalTech expedition. This makes the pair one of few people that have seen the others human face.

Is 100% naked. Was forced to wear clothing once this was discovered.

A massive prankster and a cynic. Him and Link were a force to be reckoned with.

Has revisted the facility multiple times and has started a number of ghost stories.

Any additions are welcome! I proably have alot more to dump about. Might make one of the alien characters from the series

[prettyricky187]

Sometimes You Don’t Feel Like A Winner

A/N: I was listening to Prom Queen by Catie Turner and it inspired this piece. I highly recommend listening to it while you read, at least for the first half. 

Couple: Spencer X Fem!Reader

Category: Angst/Fluff

Content Warnings: Self deprecating thoughts

Word Count: 4K

MASTERLIST

------------

“Thank God we had Morgan there, otherwise we’d probably still be stuck in the elevator.” It was such an offhand comment from Penelope, said in a joking manner and alluding to earlier when her, Derek, and Spencer found themselves trapped in the elevator. Derek had to pry the doors open to get the emergency system to kick in. 

Spencer knew she didn’t mean any offense by it, but he couldn’t stop replaying it in his head. He didn’t like how it implied that he wouldn’t have been able to get the job done. His thoughts spiraled down a rabbit hole, wondering about all the other times someone thought he wouldn’t be able to do something for one reason or another, but never said anything out loud.

He thought about the various comments from his team members over the years about his physical ineptitude. He was well aware of the fact that the only reason he was in the FBI was due to his brain, having to get waivers for all of the physical aspects of the academy. Even then he had heard the comments from fellow recruits. He always tried not to let them affect him, but he could only take so much. 

He and Derek were paired up a lot, and it didn’t take much to see the glaring differences between the two of them. Whenever they walked into a room or to a crime scene, people noticed Derek, whereas no one ever noticed him. Derek was smooth, muscular, active, and very much a kick down the door first and ask questions later type of guy, whereas Spencer just…wasn’t. He could barely talk to a woman without feeling like he was going to throw up, he didn’t think his noodle arms counted as muscle, and he much preferred to stay behind at the station whenever it came time to arrest an unsub. He wasn’t even like Hotch, with his tailored suits, matching socks, designer accessories, and stoic face that could wither a concrete wall. 

Did people want him to kick down doors? Wear matching socks? Get a Rolex? What did he have to do in order to stop the comments? 

If being more like Hotch and Morgan was what he needed to do to be taken seriously, then he would do it. 

The following morning Spencer grabbed the tailored ensemble that was a birthday gift from Rossi before hunting down a pair of matching socks. It wasn’t easy, and he felt weird putting them on, but he had to try. He pulled out his designer satchel and moved over his important papers. 

“You look like I do when I have to switch purses for a night out.” His girlfriend’s voice sounded off behind him. He looked over his shoulder to see her leaning against the door frame with a light smile on her face. One look at him and she got an inquisitive look, almost as if she was profiling him. 

“Is something wrong with your bag?” 

“No, I just felt like a change.” 

The noise she made gave away that she knew there was more to his actions, but she didn’t push it. “Do you think you’ll be home tonight?”

“I think so. Unless an urgent case comes up. I’ll let you know, okay?” She nodded as she watched him flit around the room in a manner that was very un-Spencer like. 

“Alright. Have a good day.” He smiled at her words, the first glimpse of her true boyfriend of the day. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” He gave her a kiss and was out the door, leaving behind a very confused (y/n). 

--- “Woah there pretty boy. Your socks match today.” Morgan commented, coming up behind Spencer in the kitchenette. When he first walked into the bullpen, he had been surprised to see the matching plain black socks as Spencer bent down to grab a file from the bottom drawer.

“Yeah, what of it?” Logically Spencer knew Morgan didn’t mean anything about his comment, but Penelope’s words were still swirling around in his head, so his response was more hostile than he intended. 

“I’m just not used to seeing it.” Morgan said slowly after a moment of silence, no doubt trying to profile the resident genius to figure out the cause of his attitude. “I thought you said it was bad luck?” He rose his eyebrows in questioning.

“I’m trying something new.” 

While it was apparent there was something bothering Spencer, Morgan knew better than to press him. He’d talk to him when he was ready. “Alright.” 

Everything that could have gone wrong went wrong and Spencer was over the whole day. He almost missed the morning train, he’d spilled coffee on his shirt, his shoelaces came undone and he almost faceplanted in the lobby. He realized around lunchtime that he’d forgotten his lunch at home, and when he was finally on his way home, he turned a corner right into a woman carrying a bag of groceries that ended up all over the sidewalk. Really, he just wanted to crawl under the covers and for the day to be over. 

He heaved a huge sigh of relief once he was safely inside his dark apartment. Everything was familiar and comfortable; nothing could hurt him in his own sanctuary, except maybe his own thoughts. Taking a deep breath, he dropped his bag and made his way towards the kitchen for some food before going to bed. 

Entering the bedroom and eyeing his sleeping girlfriend, Spencer felt a wave of insecure sadness flow through him so strong it almost knocked him over. She trusted him to protect her, and he knew he would fail if push came to shove. How could she possibly love him and want to be with him if he couldn’t even do the most basic thing for her?

Shaking his head sadly and trying not to cry, Spencer disrobed quietly and made his way to the bathroom in hopes that he could wash his terrible day down the drain. 

After his shower, he stood naked in front of the mirror and analyzed the reflection staring back at him. Never before had he really taken the time to look at himself beyond a quick pass to make sure his hair was tame and his tie wasn’t crooked. 

He didn’t like what he saw. 

“Jesus.” He muttered, pinching at his skin in various places. His limbs were disproportionately long, his sunken eyes created the appearance of two permanent black eyes, and he didn’t have a tan nor much body hair. Based on his research, backed by conversations overheard from JJ and Emily, body hair was something women found manly and attractive. He felt beyond inadequate. Mostly though, he looked at his arms and stomach and noted that neither had copious amounts of muscle on them.

He was an FBI agent for crying out loud, he should have some muscles. He shouldn’t have to rely on someone else to help him kick a door down or get out of an elevator. Frankly, he had never felt more pathetic than in that moment. At best, he felt like a professor; at worst he felt like a string bean with a gun. 

How was he to be trusted to protect his loved ones if he couldn’t even pass the FBI fitness test? Would he be able to protect his girlfriend if someone broke into their apartment? Would he always have to rely on someone else to keep him safe in the field? He was so absorbed in his self-deprecating thoughts that he didn’t notice the tired figure creeping up behind him.  

“Are you okay?” The startled yelp he let out was high pitched and he found himself comparing it to a more manly sound Morgan or Hotch would have let out. 

‘Great, I don’t even have manly scared sounds.’ He thought bitterly before locking his gaze on hers through the mirror. 

“I had a bad day.”

“I guessed that.” She nodded rubbing the sleep from her eyes. 

He felt bad waking her up, but he did feel better having her there. “How?” He really had tried to be quiet when he got home so he didn’t wake her up. “It could have to do with the fact that there are matching socks balled up next to the hamper.” The smile she gave him was playful, fully expecting a witty or snarky comeback. Instead, all she got was a sigh as his head dropped and his shoulders sagged. 

She frowned and stepped forward, wrapping her arms around his waist and burying her face against the skin of his back; the feeling of safety and home filling her veins. 

Spencer sighed again and grabbed onto her arms, anchoring himself to her and the moment. 

“What’s going on?” 

“Do you think I’m weak?” 

Whatever she had been expecting him to say, that wasn’t it. Her frown returned and she instinctively tightened her grip on him as if to shield him from his negative thoughts. “What?” 

He nodded, doubling down on his doubts. “Yeah, like…do you wish I had more muscles?” His eyes fell to his body, all his negative thoughts from before returning at once. “Do you think I’m too skinny?” 

“No. Too skinny for what?” She questioned, but he only shrugged. 

“When you look at me, do you think ‘federal agent?’ Am I too weak to be in the BAU?” He asked. She merely shook her head. He sighed, “Should I look more like Derek?” 

In all their years of dating, (y/n) had never heard a more ludicrous statement come from his mouth. Much less while comparing himself to Derek Morgan. She stepped in front of him and hoisted herself on the counter so that she was eye level with him. Locking her legs behind his, she pulled him flush against her, sensing how much he needed physical and emotional reassurance. 

“Spencer Reid, what on earth are you talking about?” 

Spencer tried not to let his heart race at the thought of her being disappointed in him for any reason. He never wanted to disappoint her; he just wasn’t sure he was fully capable of protecting her. He didn’t like the idea of her being hurt in any way, especially knowing he could’ve prevented it – if only he was stronger or ran faster.  

“Do you have things that you would change about me?” 

(Y/n) drew her head back as if she’d been burned by his words. The thought of changing anything about him was simply absurd. “Absolutely not!” Her tone was adamant, and it was clear that she meant every single bit of it; she loved him for exactly who he was.

“What about my quirks? Do you think they’re weird?” 

“What quirks?”

“I don’t wear matching socks.” He pointed out and she shrugged. 

“So?”

“Do you wish that I did?”

“You tried it today and your day sucked.” 

“You don’t have to remind me.” 

“Clearly, you’re not meant to wear them, and matching socks are overrated. Embrace it.” 

He merely pouted and shrugged. “But it’s weird.” 

She knew she wouldn’t be able to convince him otherwise at the moment, so she shifted topics. “Alright, what else?”

“What else what?”

“Whatever it is that has you feeling this way.” 

Spencer was quiet as he pondered saying what was bothering him; he wanted to be completely honest for both her sake and his own. 

“My hair.” 

She raked her eyes over his wet hair hanging haphazardly and sticking up or out in some parts, clearly in disarray from his quick towel drying. 

“What about it?” 

“It’s always messy.” 

“Probably doesn’t help that I love running my fingers through it. Even when you do comb it, I just make a mess of it again. I’ll gladly take partial responsibility for that.” 

“What about the fact that I ramble.” 

She shrugged as she absentmindedly stroked his hip. “I enjoy it.” She wasn’t just trying to make him feel better, she really did enjoy listening to him endlessly talk. She’d never admit it, but sometimes she purposely made him flustered just so he would start rambling like he does whenever he’s nervous. 

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” He frowned, but (y/n) shook her head.

“I’m saying it because it’s how I feel. When have I ever lied to you, even if it was only to spare your feelings?” 

He immediately thought back to when they first began dating and he had gone on an excited rant about the new season of Doctor Who. He could tell she was trying to follow along and nodding like she knew what he was talking about, but she hadn’t understood. He remembered Derek telling him how girls sometimes lie to guys on a date so that they seem interesting. He asked her thoughts on the show and she told him that she’d honestly never seen an episode and had absolutely no idea what he was talking about, but she was excited simply because he was excited. 

“Never.” 

“Alright then. So, believe me when I say that I do not mind your info-drops.” 

“What about all the other things I should have accomplished by now, but haven’t?” 

“Like what?”

“Having a family.” 

“Is that something you want?” The topic of children had come up, but always in a ‘someday’ capacity. She didn’t even know he was actively thinking about starting a family.

“Derek has Savannah and Hank and Hotch has Jack. I mean, I have you, but we’re not married, nor do we have any kids so it’s like…are we a societal failure?” 

“I’m going to pretend not to take offense to that.” 

He squirmed as she lightly pinched at his outer thigh. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it how it sounded.” He sighed sadly, not liking how his words weren’t coming out as he intended. “I just…”

“Not every couple has children or gets married, Spencer. Marriage or children doesn’t validate a relationship.” 

“Did you know that humans 75 million years ago mostly lived in isolation and only came together to mate? In 2013, a study came out that said that monogamy only came to be so that men could protect their infants and lower the risk of infanticide from competing males.” 

“Okay…” She wasn’t exactly sure where he was going with that information; she didn’t have an IQ of 187 so he needed to explain it for her.

“It means that the sole point of monogamy is children.” He exclaimed. 

“Well, first of all we’re not giant pandas who only come out of some hiding to get it on with each other. Secondly, we are not living in the Flintstone era where a man kills another man’s child simply to procreate with the mother and ensure his lineage. And finally, the one I take the most issue with, couples do not need to have children to be valid. There are plenty of childless couples who are perfectly happy with just the two of them. If that’s what our situation turns out to be, then that’s what it is. We aren’t failures as people or as a couple.” She explained. 

“You’d be a cute giant panda, though.” Spencer muttered after a moment. 

(Y/n) laughed and nodded in agreement. “So, would you.” 

“You know,” Spencer said suddenly, “I always thought I’d be in academia when I was a kid. I never pictured myself in the FBI.” 

While the idea of Spencer as a teacher or researcher wasn’t preposterous, his words still surprised her. She wondered if he’d still be happy in that role. 

“Really?” 

“Do I really scream law enforcement material to you?” He rose an eyebrow as if to say ‘really’ and she held her hands up to concede.

“Well I’ve only ever known you in the BAU, which is part of the FBI, which is considered law enforcement. So, to me, yes.” 

“I also thought I would have cured schizophrenia by now. Or at least been really close to a cure.” He said, “I feel like such a failure because I haven’t even gotten started on it.”

“Well, you’ve been busy saving the world in other ways.” She pointed out. 

“What if it’s not enough?” 

“Schizophrenia has been around for like…forever. It’s not solely your job to cure it; I don’t think anyone expects you to. It’s just you.”

“Actually, it’s only been around for 208 years. In 1809 both English physician John Haslam and French physician Phillippe Pinel wrote about English tea broker James Tilly Matthews. He is largely considered the first case of paranoid schizophrenia; except there wasn’t a term for it at the time. It wasn’t until the late 19th century that the term dementia praecox was used to describe someone who we now refer to as schizophrenic. There’s been some debate over who first used the term, some say Emil Kraepelin in 1896 while others say it was Arnold Pick in 1891. It wasn’t until Eugene Bleuler coined the term schizophrenia in 1908 because he believed that it wasn’t a dementia at all, but merely a separation of function between personality, thinking, memory, and perception.” 

Maybe someone else would’ve been stunned or turned off by the correction and lengthy explanation, but (y/n) listened happily as he laid out the history of schizophrenia, all while looking at him like he hung the stars and the moon in the sky. She knew it was a touchy subject for him, between his mother, being scared of presenting signs when he turned 30, and genetics he might pass down to any children, so they didn’t talk much about it. 

‘You realize you’re putting 200-”

“208.” Spencer quietly corrected and she smiled to herself. 

God, she loved him. 

“208 years of mental illness solely on your shoulders.” She finished. “You’re one man who can’t be expected to solve all the world’s problems. You have a genius brain, but you’re still human like the rest of us average folk. As much as it may pain you to hear, you can’t do everything.”

“I know that.” He protested, but sometimes she wasn’t so sure. She knew he forgot to take care of himself when he got too into his head, but she wouldn’t dwell on that at the moment. “I just, I wonder if I’m on the wrong track. You know?”

“I do. I think most people wonder that at various times in their life. Second guessing yourself is common, and while it can be worrying, it’s something we all can get through.”

“I never second guess myself. I’m always sure in what decisions I make.”

“Hate to break it to you bud, you’re currently doing exactly that, hence your tailspin.” 

He cracked a small smile at her words, but ultimately sighed. 

She noticed that he still looked off, like he had more that was bothering him. She knew it all wasn’t going to get solved with this bathroom talk, but she didn’t want him to go to sleep with these worries on his mind. “What else are you thinking about?” 

Spencer shook his head and shrugged his shoulders, resigned to the fact that he was just going to feel shitty about things for a while. “It doesn’t matter. It’s stupid anyways.” 

(Y/n) refused to accept that answer. “It’s not stupid. It matters to you, so I want to hear about it.” She said softly, playing with his fingers. 

“How am I supposed to keep you safe if I can’t even kick down a door?” His voice sounded so soft and scared. She wanted to wrap a blanket around him and lay underneath; shielding him from the world. 

“Who said I needed you to keep me safe?”

“It’s my job. That is literally in my job description, keep the public safe. You are part of that public.” He countered.

“How does being able to kick down a door correlate to keeping someone safe? Are you going to kick the intruder down?” The mental image was amusing to her, but she knew better than to laugh. 

“Did you know that yesterday I was stuck in an elevator with Garcia and Derek?” He began, bringing her attention back to the subject at hand. “He had to pry the doors open enough to trigger the emergency system so that help could arrive. You know what she said after it was all said and done? ‘Thank God we had Morgan there, otherwise we’d probably still be stuck in the elevator.’ Like, I would have been completely useless had he not been there. It did not make me feel good at all.” He said. While things regarding his mood seemed to click into place for her, (y/n) had so many questions. Where were their cell phones? How was Derek even able to pry open the doors? Did they hit the emergency stop button? 

All those things ran through her mind, but mostly she felt like she wanted to shake Penelope for her comment. She doubted there was any malicious intent behind it, and she knew Spencer knew that, too, but it clearly hurt his feelings and struck a sensitive nerve inside him. 

“It’s alright though,” he said cutting her thoughts short, “it doesn’t really matter.”

“What doesn’t?”

“Being liked. Who says we have to be liked? Why should I care if people like me? It’s all overrated.” Maybe if he said the words out loud he might believe them, but even she didn’t look convinced.

“Except that it isn’t and really, we all care. It’s part of human nature, you of all people should know this.” She said eyeing him.

When he didn’t say anything, (y/n) decided she wasn’t going to let him spiral into his self-deprecating thoughts any longer.

“Alright Spencer, listen to me.” (Y/n) sat up straight so he could see how serious her next statement was going to be. “I love you with my entire heart. That being said, I don’t need a knight in shining armor to swoop in and save me. So, you didn’t go into education, you still can if you want to. But you don’t have to just because you thought you would as a kid. Who cares if Derek and Hotch have children and you don’t? You’re not Derek Morgan or Aaron Hotchner. You’ve had an entirely different life and set of circumstances than they have. They couldn’t do half the things you can, and that’s okay. Who cares if you don’t wear matching socks or that Hotch probably wears a tailored suit to work every day?” 

“He does.” Spencer interrupted, but one look from (y/n) had him mumbling an apology. 

“The whole point is, you all have your own strengths, weaknesses, and something unique that you bring to the table. Your strength just happens to be in your brain, not your body. It doesn’t matter that you can’t kick down a door because you know they always say to work smarter not harder. Let Derek do the hard work and you do the smart work. There’s nothing wrong with that.” 

A beat of silence passed between them before Spencer smiled and let out a few hearty laughs. (Y/n) might’ve been put off by that at any other time, but she was just happy that he wasn’t frowning anymore. 

“You are…not great at making me feel better. But you tried, and I love you for it.” His smile then was the first genuine one of the day. 

Try as she might, motivational speeches were not her forte, but there was something endearing about how bad she was at it. 

“You’re just being a grump right now, so no matter what I say is going to make you feel better. When it’s all said and done, at the end of the day I love you, Spencer, for exactly who you are. I wouldn’t change a single thing about you. Even the things you might want to change about yourself.” 

Even when he didn’t feel like the shining star that she thought he was, she was there for him and would support and love him. 

“Thank you. I appreciate knowing that I always have you in my corner.” He smiled down on her and gave her a pert kiss on the nose, making them both smile. 

“You always will.” She agreed, mirroring his kiss. “Do you feel better?” 

“I do. You’ll never be a motivational speaker, but you did make me feel better.” He nods with a laugh. 

“I gave it a valiant effort. You want to go to bed?” She tilted her head in question. She knew her shortcomings and made no qualms about them. She knew Spencer loved her for who she was, just as she loved him for who he was. That was part of what made them so great together, at least in her mind. 

[brw]

hello! so ur the only one i know who likes hank pym lmao and i just wanna ask what is he like in the comics since i havent rlly had the time and effort to read it?

i dont rlly have an attentions span to even try (sadly this is annoying) and maybe u can drop some hank pym reading list if u have one :0

ooo hi anon! i'm glad you asked!

hank is, if you ask me, a greatly misunderstood and mistreated character, who was subjected to things which were DEFINITELY a product of the time he was being written in character wise, but rlly that shouldn't be held against his character as a whole. like i don't want to imply that you are under an obligation to like hank, or can't dislike him. but calling him abusive is, uh, certainly a stretch, and it kinda annoys me, the amount of people who have obviously only seen That Panel™ out of context, and have MAYBE read one or two of his appearances in mighty avengers or whatever out of context. it just. very much so annoys me.

anyway! hank is, imo, a very intriguing character. like other people/heroes, he is like, genuinely a good person with good intentions, and wants to improve things for everyone else. but his flaws are obvious and self-sabotaging. in his desire to be appreciated and loved as his counterparts reed richards & tony stark are (in universe, at least) he often ends up coming off as absorbed and egotistical. and certainly, hank can get a bit of a big head about his intelligence, but like literally every other genius character in the MU is the same. but for hank, because its so closely related to his need to be loved and praised, its more interesting to me! at least in my very humble opinion. he often gets self-destructive with his work habits, has an unfortunate tendency to fixate on things and to beat himself up continuously on things that aren't really his fault, all of which are possibly related to his bipolar disorder, his anxiety disorder or his depression, all of which he canonically has & has seeked medication for. initially too, in the early days where pseudo-psychology was more common, he was also implied to have a dissociative identity disorder. that was in fact where yellowjacket, and all his other identities of him came from at first; he claimed he killed hank pym when he was yellowjacket because he genuinely believed he had done so. janet seemed to think that by marrying him she could sort of merge the identities together or whatever, but that... obviously didn't work out lmao. this kinda stuff has since been abandoned, but that was it initially, as well as him being unstable due to overexposure to pym particles. here's an article that goes more in depth abt it.

but yeah! generally he's a well meaning guy who gets excited about bugs and gets flustered easily and does try his best, but does struggle, majorly with his mental health. i don't think he's seeked therapy, which i can understand he probably doesn't have much time for but i still think it would be beneficial for him to get; after all, antidepressants have been known to trigger manic episodes in people with bipolar disorder, so i can't imagine with the mix of all three treatments he'd be very coherent lmao (not that i'm against medication; i am requesting some soon for my insomnia myself, but taking a lot can have ill effects if you don't first consult a doctor)

as a personal bonus, if you do ever decide to read one or two comics with hank, i suggest the avengers a.i series! it's very sweet, very funny, hank is written pretty well imo and there's bonus content of vision being a dork and seeing a doombot forced into heroics against his will. i also recommend his appearances in vol 2 of West Coast Avengers, where he decided to save lives and help people not as ant-man, giant-man, goliath, or yellowjacket, but just as hank pym! this is after The Infamous Scene, where he has apparently "merged" and intends to do his best just as himself, which is a powerful choice to make imo! he does almost attempt suicide though in issue 17 so watch out for that if that triggers you at all.

i do love him a lot, he's obviously like, not perfect but he has a lot of potential and i would really like to see a new arc with him where they explore him coming to terms w/ all his mental health & being diagnosed at a later age.

and finally, have two panels of him being cute :>

he is so small...

also, if you haven't watched it i also suggest the avengers: earth's mightiest heroes cartoon! it's very good for hank content, him and janet are adorable together in it.

[dindjarindiaries]

Omg 41. Overhearing they have feelings for you - with Frankie!! I could totally see him stressing about it to the boys and they’re trying to hype him up into talking to you but he’s too scared, but you hear him 😭

character: Frankie “Catfish” Morales

prompt: 41. Overhearing they have feelings for you from this prompt list!

warnings: mentions of past drug abuse, fluff, soft!panicking!Frankie

rating: R

masterlist

You turn off your car with a light sigh, huddling your arms closer to yourself as the cool summer night air hits your skin. Thankfully, the walk from the parking lot up to Frankie’s apartment isn’t long—but the air conditioning in his building chills you even more.

You and Frankie have been best friends ever since your college days, always sticking close together no matter how far apart life tried to bring you. You’d become friends at times in your life when you needed one the most, causing you to be much closer than most friends were. Even later in life, when Frankie took to a destructive means of dealing with his PTSD from the Delta Force, you were right there to help him through it. He did the same when you felt yourself spiraling out of control mentally from a fallout with your family. Now, many years after you first became friends, you find yourselves even closer than ever—though not as close as you sometimes hope.

Frankie asked you to come over tonight and when prompted with a reason, he didn’t answer. You figure it’s probably some sort of surprise—if there’s one thing you’ve learned about Frankie since drawing closer to him, it’s that he loves to catch you off guard with a good surprise—and you now find yourself heading down the hall to his door. You’d never question time spent with Frankie. His presence is almost intoxicating to you. If you could have it your way, you’d always stay with him. Sadly, you just don’t think that’s what he wants, no matter how badly you want it for yourself.

Just as you’re about to leave your signature knock on Frankie’s door, you pause, your fist hovering just above the surface as you suddenly hear Frankie’s voice exclaiming something louder than usual.

“Maybe this isn’t such a good idea,” you hear him say, his tone thick with worry that’s obvious even when it’s muffled through the door. “I’m freakin’ out.”

You suddenly hear more voices and realize that he must be on a group video call with the boys. Your curiosity is piquing now and, while you know it’s a bad idea to eavesdrop on your best friend, you can’t help it as you lean your ear closer to the door.

“I know she wouldn’t do that, but I...” Frankie trails off with a soft sigh. Your brow creases together. Is he talking about me?

“Fish, I’m fuckin’ sick of it,” you suddenly hear Benny’s voice say, causing you to hold back a chuckle. “You’ve been goin’ on and on about her for ages, man.”

“You’ve already got it all lined up,” Santiago’s voice comes next. “Just follow through with it. What’s the worst that could happen?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” Frankie scoffs. “Everything?”

“Listen, Frankie, it’s obvious that you care about her a lot,” Will says, causing a fluttering to arise in your stomach—assuming this is still about you, of course. “She deserves to know it, if she hasn’t figured it out already. And I don’t know about you, but it’s pretty fuckin’ obvious to me that she cares about you, too.”

“You’re right,” Frankie confesses. “I just—what the fuck do I even say? How do you just tell your best friend that you’re in love with them?”

You suck in a breath at that, having to walk back a few steps in shock. Frankie... is in love... with me? Love? With me? Your mind and heart are running at a mile a minute now, and you’re positive that the goosebumps on your arms aren’t just from the air conditioning.

“Shit, I think I just heard her outside,” Frankie’s voice sounds again, and you blink a few times as you try to figure out how to act properly. “She must be here. I’ll see you on the other side.”

“Good luck, Fish!” some of the boys say.

“Let us know if you finally got the balls to do it!” Benny exclaims, and you can’t even laugh right now thanks to your absolute shock at what you’ve just heard.

Deciding to finally pretend that you haven’t been standing here the whole time, you gather your bearings and leave your signature knock at the door. You notice that your hands are trembling slightly from your emotions, and you try to hide it as you hear Frankie hurrying over to the door. It opens just moments later, and your heart suddenly races faster than ever as he comes into view.

Frankie’s previous stress is obvious in his dark gaze—though you can tell he’s trying to hide it—and in a usual nervous habit, his free hand readjusts the baseball hat on his head. He tries to force a smile at you, but you can tell it’s not sincere since his dimple doesn’t poke out, and yet it still manages to take your breath away. When you watch his expression morph into concern, you realize that you must be doing a shit job at hiding your own emotions.

“Hey, you okay?” Frankie asks, his voice soft and void of any of the previous panic you’d just witnessed.

You part your lips to speak, but nothing comes out. For a moment, you stand there like a dumbstruck idiot, searching his gaze and trying to find an answer  somehow. Instead, you seek your verification. “Is it true?” You gesture with your hand to further in the apartment, where you assume he’d been sitting on his couch while talking to the guys.

Frankie raises an eyebrow at you. “What do you...” he trails off as he looks back, noticing his phone that’s still sitting on the coffee table and suddenly realizing what you’re referencing. His head snaps back to you with your same amount of shock there, his warm gaze begging for understanding as he looks down at you. “I—you heard?” Frankie chuckles nervously, lifting his hat from his head and running his other hand over his hair before he sets it back down. “Listen, the guys were—y’know—being them and they, well, you know, they say a lot of things and I just—I had to try to, y’know—.”

In the middle of his nervous rambling, you push past him to get inside and reach around him to close the door, forcing his back gently against it as you take him by the collar of his t-shirt and pull his mouth to yours. It’s the only answer you can possibly give him right now and fuck, is it a glorious relief. The feeling is like nothing you’ve ever experienced before, as if you’ve been waiting for it your whole life. His mouth moves against yours like it already knows exactly what you like, and when he gets his bearings, he holds your face tenderly between his hands. When you finally pull away, you can already see his eyes starting to glitter with their usual happiness, and you smile up at him. “I love you too, Frankie.”

Frankie finally reveals his true smile, his dimple appearing as his thumbs run softly over your cheeks. “Really?” His voice is breathless, as if he’s unable to believe what he’s hearing.

You giggle softly as you nod. “Really.” For a quick moment, you pull him back to you again, bringing a hand to his cheek as you run it over the shadow stubble there. You pull away while still smiling. “I guess you can thank the boys for actually being of help for once.”

Frankie shakes his head as he chuckles, looking down at you as if you’re the most precious thing in the world. “If they ask, I told you on my own. I can’t have them on my ass about this forever.”

You laugh, letting out a sigh of content as you wrap your arms around his middle and rest your head against his chest. Frankie holds you close and leaves a kiss on your head, causing your heart to flutter more than you think possible as you close your eyes and absorb it all. “I’ll stay quiet on one condition.” Frankie lifts you from his chest only to face you with a quizzical look, causing you to bite back a chuckle. “It’s fucking freezing and I need a sweatshirt.”

Frankie laughs softly, nuzzling his nose against yours with amusement twinkling in his gaze. “We’ve had our feelings out on the table for all of two minutes and you’re already asking for my clothes?” Your cheeks heat up at his affection as you give him a coy nod. “Well, lucky for you, I’d give you the world if I could. So let’s go pick one out. I can’t have you getting hypothermia during our first night together.”

You giggle as he reaches for your hand, leading you into his collection that you’ll continue stealing from as long as you want to—because Frankie loves you and he’d give you anything if you asked for it.

permanent tag list: @mikahid @bestintheparsec @stilllivindue2spite @givemethatgold @xbrujita @mandalorianspace @blushingwueen @sevvysaurus @myakai13 @thisis-theway @beskars @rachelloveseveryone @theindiealto @hiscyarika @burningsoulbloodyheart @wickedfrsgrl @synystersilenceinblacknwhite @bookwafflefangirl @charliepeaceout @cable-kenobi @ezraslittleblondestreak @hdlynn @your-pixels-are-showing @b0n-chann​ @javier-djarin​

pedro characters tag list: @ezraslittleblondestreak @nettyklecan @b0n-chann

[rohad93]

Moonlit Masquerade: ch 12

I changed my mind about posting today

~ ~ ~

When they walk back inside they’re not sure what has happened exactly. Most the party goers have returned to the dance floor or the refreshment area, but quite a few have huddled along the walls, hiding or wailing in despair.

“What happened?” Luz blinks, looking around.

“I don’t even want to know.” Amity shakes her head as they walk around the room, maneuvering between other guests before coming face to face with Edric and Emira.

"Hey, Mittens, we didn't see you during the game." Edric crossed his arms and pouted at her.

"Yeah, it was a lot of fun," Emira says. 

Looking around at the sorry state of some of the guests, Amity can't help but disagree without even knowing what went on here.

"We were on the back porch." Amity chooses to answer her brother's unasked question. 

"Who's your friend?" He asks, grinning at her companion. 

Amity almost snorts at the question.

"I've been wondering that myself all evening." She smirks and Luz grins back at her.

"Oh, your secret admirer…" Emira grins, leaning forward.

"Her what?" Edric's brows canter upward over the top of his mask at that.

"Well, you'll know before too long now." Emira points up at the glass ceiling overhead. The moon is almost in position directly overhead, it's bright light is filling the room.

"We better go mingle before then." Edric jerks his head and Emira nods.

"Have fun you two!" Emira wiggles her fingers at the two as they pass by. "And Good luck." The older Blight girl is looking directly at Luz as she says this.

Perhaps the older teen hadn't recognized her when she came in but Luz knew without a doubt that she now knew who she was.

Amity looked between the two with narrowed eyes. 

She was missing something and she knew it all hinged on the identity of the girl beside her. It was like she had all the edge pieces of a puzzle fit together but no picture to reference. She had the frame, but she couldn't see the big picture.

It was aggravating, in a word.

The older Blight children disappear into the crowd, leaving them alone and a slow song begins to play.

"Well, if it's all going to be over soon we might as well enjoy it." Luz holds out a hand. "I won't let you fall this time either." She's smiling playfully and Amity can't help but roll her eyes even as she slides her hand into hers.

"I'll hold you to that."

Luz tugs them out onto the floor, but this time she sets both her hands on Amity's waist as she brings hers to rest on her shoulder.

They move much slower this time, but still in rhythm to the soft, lilting music that fills the room. 

They're both a little nervous now.

The two times they'd danced before were fast and there wasn't a lot of time to over analyze every little thing, especially fighting a fear demon, now there is, and Luz agonizes over whether or not her hands are in the right place, should she be closer, farther away? 

Lilith had offered to give her lessons on slower dances but it had just felt too weird to her. Now she wished she'd just sucked it up and agreed.

Amity is calmer after the first minute of swaying. The hands on her waist are firm but not tight and she takes a certain comfort in it, their weight grounds her, especially as the song plays on, and slowly, but surely they relax. Luz's hands slide to wrap around the small of Amity's back as her arms wrap around her mysterious date's neck, eventually her head is resting on her shoulder and Amity feels at ease, shuffling across the floor, less of a dance and more a slow moving embrace.

Luz, for her part, leans her head gently against Amity’s, resting weightless on her shoulder. The bright moonlight is filling the room but there's not a sliver of it shining between the two of them.

That song ends but neither seem to notice and dance on through the next two songs as well.

Luz doesn’t know what perfume Amity wears, but it’s light, sweet and fills her senses to the point it might be making her dizzy, but she doesn’t let go; she never would if she could. Amity is hot to the touch and Luz leans into the warmth, trying to absorb as much of it as possible; like a moth to a flame. She wants nothing more than to hold her like this forever if only she would allow it.

Amity’s eyes closed some time ago. Her partner's hold is firm but gentle, almost lulling her to sleep in her secure embrace. She is soft, warm and her nose is practically buried in her partner's neck. We're she more coherent she'd be mortified at the intimate proximity, she's never been this close to anyone before, but everything save quiet, warm fuzziness has become background noise in her mind.

She inhales deeply and breathes a whisper of a sigh against her neck. She smells pleasantly earthy, like grass and a warm summer breeze. The saccharine thought makes her feel silly, but she doesn't try to push it away She hums in contentment; she smells just like Luz.

Amity’s eyes pop open at the thought, her insides turn cold and her stomach drops to her feet as guilt claws at her, washing away all the warmth as though it had never been; replaced by cold dread.

The song ends and Luz reluctantly removes herself from Amity’s arms, she's so wrapped up in the warmth and overwhelming affection she feels that she doesn't notice how stiff the other girl has gone as they move off the dance floor.

The music has stopped and the twins have returned in a flash of light and smoke to the center of the room. 

“Ladies and gentlemen, as you can see, the moon is directly overhead and that means it’s time to remove your masks and reveal yourselves!” Edric throws up his hands as several party guests remove their glimmered masks and begin chatting excitedly as they recognize each other.

“Thank you to everyone in attendance tonight.” Emira finished and the two bowed to the guests, though this time they elect to simply walk toward the front door. Luz can only assume to see the guests off as they exit. For now there is still excited chatter all around them. 

It's now or never, Luz decides as they stand on the side of the dance floor as people remove their masks and reveal themselves to each other under the bright light of the blue moon.

She clears her throat and Amity turns to look at her, brought out of her internal crisis. 

"So, do you think… we could see each other again?" she asks hopefully.

Amity blinks at the question, mind racing, this was what she'd been waiting for all night and now it's here and she's not prepared in the slightest, because now she knows what her decision is and she hates it; absolutely hates it.

It's painful, what she's about to say, especially as she stares into this girl's brilliant and hopeful, brown eyes, but everything about the girl in front of her has reminded her of Luz at every turn tonight, and as badly as she wants to let go, it seems she can't; and that's not fair to her. This wonderful girl in front of her deserves someone who will think only of her; and as much as she'd like it to be, it's not Amity.

"I can't," she finally says at long last, watching helplessly as the girl's face falls. "I am so sorry…," she rushes to say. "You've been so sweet and kind, but…" She bites her lip and can't break her gaze from those eyes looking back at her through the mask, waiting. 

"There's someone else…," the girl finishes for her and it's so sorrowful and knowing that it breaks Amity's heart; she feels awful and all she can do is nod.

Luz tries her damnedest to hide that her heart is breaking as she speaks.

"It's okay…," she says, voice thick like she's on the verge of tears, and if it's possible, Amity's heart fractures a little more. Even now she's being so understanding it makes her want to take back her words, but she holds fast; she has too. 

"I'm sorry," is all she can say and tries to convey in those two simple words how much she means it; how much she hates having to do this.

Luz, for her part, shrugs helplessly.

"I knew there was someone else…," she starts and Amity looks at her surprised. "I thought it was worth a shot though…" Her eyes are glassy and she's doing her best to keep the tears at bay, even though she can't will away the trembling in her voice.

She can already see that Amity feels awful, she's not going to make it worse by crying. She’s going to try anyway.

The night is coming to a close and a few people have begun to trickle out and Luz knows that the time to unmask herself has finally come, but her heart has already been broken, so the anxiety she expected for this moment never comes, she feels numb as she reaches up for it but hesitates.

“If… if you don’t want to take your mask off, you don’t have to, it’s okay…,” Amity says after a long moment as Luz fiddles with the edges.

She freezes. 

Amity is giving her an out. 

A chance to let her walk away without ever actually telling her who she is in order to preserve her dignity and carry on with whatever their relationship was before. 

She considers it for a long moment.

Luz doesn’t hesitate for long, she’s never had much use for dignity, and if this ships going to sink she may as well go down with it knowing she did everything she could to save it. 

“That’s not really fair to either of us though is it?” she finally asks, smiling sadly at her, and Amity, for being the one who turned her down, looks just as upset as she feels, and of course she does, because Amity is kind like that. A little rough at the edges at first but so unbelievably kind that it makes her chest ache. “Was still a nice night though, right?” she asks quietly, looking at her with a smile that takes all her effort to form.

“Very…,” Amity breathes sadly, heart twisting and ‘i’m sorry’ once more on the tip of her tongue, but before she can utter the words her companion is pulling off her mask and the illusion is broken like it had never existed.

“It was kinda stuffy under there anyway…” Luz scratches her cheek with a finger, doing her best not to look directly at Amity's face as she reaches back to rub away the glyphs on the back of her ears, casting away the illusion concealing her ears while she waits for the witch so say something; anything.

Amity is staring wide-eyed at the girl in front of her, mouth hanging open. Her brain has become static as the human girl stands in front of her, looking down at her feet, head haloed in soft blue light.

Luz

Luz is her secret admirer…

LUZ IS HER SECRET ADMIRER!?

She thinks maybe her heart has stopped, or it’s beating so fast she can no longer distinguish between beats. 

"Luz…," she finally managed to utter from a numb mouth and those brown eyes she thinks about so often are trained on her once more.

"Hi" she smiles and it's so unbelievably sorrowful, tears welling up in the corners of her eyes. 

Amity sees them and jerks before her own can start against her will. It's all too much at once.

Suddenly Amity grabs her hand and is pulling her away from the party toward the stairs. Luz yelps but lets herself be dragged along up them and down a dark hallway before Amity pulls them into a room that Luz immediately realizes must be her bedroom; it's very Amity. She shuts the door behind them with an echoing slam.

Luz stands awkwardly in the middle of the room, her mask clenched in her hand as she watches Amity’s back, where she has yet to turn away from the now-closed door, hands still pressed against the wood as though the door is the only thing keeping her standing.

The oppressive silence is making her skin itch and she bites her lip, eyes sting with unshed tears.

She’s never been much for silence and this one is deafening. 

“L-look, I’m sorry, Amity, I… I shouldn’t have come and I shouldn’t have said anything, I…,” She croaks, a tear sliding down her cheek as she tries desperately to save whatever might be left of their friendship.

Listening to Luz's choked words is all too much for Amity, a torrent of emotions has welled up inside her chest and behind her eyes, looking for release.

Anything else Luz wanted to say is cut off by a strained sob from the girl in front of her.

Suddenly Amity whips round, making the skirt of her dress flutter and she’s staring back at Luz, gold eyes shining brightly as tears drip down her face from beneath her starry mask and another sob erupts from her throat against her will.

Luz can’t stop herself, she rushes forward and once she's standing in front of the crying girl she hesitates, hands hovering in the air a moment before reaching up to lift up Amity’s mask and once it's out of the way she takes hold of her ruddy cheeks and gently brushes away the tears with her thumbs.

“I’m sorry, Amity,” she mumbles, frowning.

Amity’s hands shoot up to cover her hands with her own smaller ones and shakes her head harshly.

“No,” she chokes. “Don’t be sorry, I'm happy!”

Luz can't help but think that what's going on and what she says are very mixed messages.

But any words they might have wanted to come out of her mouth die in her throat as Amity speaks.

“Did… did you mean it?” she asks in a small quivering voice that sounds so wrong coming from someone so strong. She must show her confusion because Amity speaks again before she can get her mind around the question. “The gifts… the notes…tonight... did you mean all of those things?” she chokes out desperately, tears still running down her cheeks and it makes Luz’s heart twist in such a painful way that she can’t begin to describe it. 

A surge of bravery fills Luz’s chest and she pulls her hands out from beneath Amity's to take hold of the other girls and holds them firmly to her chest; Amity’s breath hitches.

“Of course I meant them, you’re so amazing, Amity!” Pink dusts her cheeks but she plows on. “I like you, a lot.” She squeezes her hands. “I just didn’t want to freak you out… I wanted you to like me too… even though I knew there was someone else…,” she trails off, gaze falling to the floor, and dropping Amity’s hands; both of them miss the warmth. 

“What?” Now it’s Amity’s turn to be confused.

“Whoever you wanted to invite to grom…,” Luz finally says after a long moment, eyes moving back up to look at Amity’s surprised face. “I know it was selfish, but I couldn’t stand the idea of you being with someone else… I wanted to win you over,” she trails off quietly. 

Suddenly Amity’s hands are cupped around her cheeks, forcing her to look at her and brushing away the errant tears that have dripped down Luz's face.

“Luz…” Amity says, voice thick with emotion, a few stray tears are still dripping down her own face but she’s smiling. “It was you, Luz, it's always been you. I wanted to ask you to grom,” she says it at long last and a weight lifts off the witch’s chest she hadn’t even been aware of. 

“You… me… you were afraid of being rejected by me?” She fumbles through the sentence with wide eyes and disbelief coloring every word. 

Amity only nods and giggles wetly at the girl's wide eyes and slack jaw.

Suddenly Luz has crystal clarity on all of her interactions with Amity. The jumpiness, stammering and blushing…

“I’m so stupid!” Luz squawked suddenly, digging her fingers into her slicked back hair.

Amity chuckled under her breath, feeling brave now too.

“You’re not stupid…,” she says as she reaches up and shoos Luz's hands away before carefully smoothing the dark strands back into place with a gentle hand. The look she’s giving Luz is one of unabashed adoration and Luz feels warm and tingly as Amity runs her fingers through her hair. 

“I never picked up on your feelings either…,” Amity reminds, her hands falling away from her hair to rest on her shoulders. 

“I was trying to keep mine hidden though… you were so obvious! After all the fanfiction I’ve read, I'm really disappointed in myself for not noticing…,"  she groans as Amity turns red again.

“I wasn’t that obvious…,” Amity huffs, indignation rising to the surface. Luz wraps her arms around the witch’s waist and pulls her closer. Amity squeaks and blinks at her as Luz’s grin becomes downright smug.

“Oh yeah?” she asks. “Cute uniforms, sweating?” she quotes Amity from weeks ago and Amity’s face turns blood red at the words.

“Shut up!” She puts a hand on Luz’s chest and tries to push her away, face practically steaming with embarrassment.

Luz just laughs, to giddy to contain herself. She likes Amity and Amity likes her! It's the only thought in her head.

Suddenly Amity finds herself lifted off the ground and spinning around the room in Luz’s arms.

“Luz!” They’re both laughing uncontrollably as Luz twirls them around her bedroom. 

They finally stop in the middle of the room, both out of breath and smiling so hard their cheeks hurt. Finally Luz lets her feet touch back to the floor but doesn’t release her grip.

They stood there, breathing heavy as the bright blue light of the full moon outside streamed into the window, casting both their faces in its light.

The smile on Amity's lips is so soft and joyful it makes Luz's heart swell.

Suddenly Luz's mouth goes dry as she's struck by a sudden thought.

Maybe it's the high of finding out that Amity returns her feelings, the remains of the bravery her mask had given her or just how breathtaking the girl in her arms is, highlighted by soft blue moonlight shining in her gold eyes. 

“Can I kiss you?” she asks before she can rethink it.

Amity’s eyes grow wide as she stares back into deep brown eyes that look alive in the moonlight reflecting off them.

Amity is quiet just long enough that Luz is just about to apologize and her grip on Amity’s waist loosens, bringing the witch back into the present and she panics that Luz is going to let her go, that's the last thing she wants. She tightens her grip on Luz’s shoulders, fingers digging into her vest.

“Please…,” she says and flushes crimson. A simple yes turned into a desperate plea as it came out of her mouth, but Luz doesn’t seem at all fazed as her grip tightens around her waist and she leans in close.

She’s so close all Amity can see is her as their noses brush. She lets her eyes flutter closed as Luz’s lips press against hers.

It’s soft, and much too short.

Luz pulls back all too quick for her and their eyes open, looking at each other silently for several seconds before Amity moves to wrap her arms around the human girl's neck, her fingers threading through the hair there and Luz meets her halfway as she leaned in to kiss her again, this time it's longer but no less gentle, neither are the ones that follow.

Neither is sure how long they stand there, exchanging soft kisses, but it’s brought to an abrupt end when the bedroom door swings open.

“Hey, Mittens, everyone left, how was the part-” Edric’s question dies in his mouth as he and Emira stand open mouthed in the doorway as the two younger teens pull apart and stare at them, red faced. 

“Well… this is unexpected…” Emira recovers first and crosses her arm, leaning on the doorframe. “Actually it isn’t…” She smirks.

“Wha-?” Edric is still blinking at them with wide eyes.

“Oh, is it that late already?” Luz laughs nervously and finally lets go of Amity and takes a step back. “I better get going!"

She hurries toward the door and is careful not to look at either of the twins as she speed walks out of the room between them.

“Why do neither of you know how to knock!?” Amity hisses, face bright crimson, and it's hard to say if it’s more anger or embarrassment as she rushes past them and down the stairs.

She catches Luz at the front door, staff in hand as she steps outside.

“Wait, Luz.” Amity calls, and she does. She feels like she couldn’t deny Amity anything right now. Her lips are still tingling.

“I… I’m sorry, about them,” she apologizes, hands fisted into her dress. Did her siblings just ruin this for her?

Luz just smiles.

“It’s okay, I really do need to go… but um…” she trails off and Amity looks up at her, eyebrows raised in silent question.

“If you’re not busy tomorrow maybe we could… I dunno, hang out in town, maybe go to that bakery you like… like, a date?” she scratches the back of her head and shifts from foot to foot, waiting for Amity’s answer. 

Amity smiles and brushes some hair behind her ear. 

“I’d like that.” She nods and Luz lights up with a bright grin that Amity finds herself returning.

“Great! I'll meet you there at lunch time?"

Amity nods.

"Cool… cool …,well… I better get going…” She takes a half step forward and pecks the witch’s cheek before stepping back with a bright grin at Amity's surprised and pink face.

Her eyes flicker to something over Amity’s shoulder and she flushes before turning and with a flick of her wrist Owlbert’s wings are spread. She took a running leap off the porch onto the staff and is quickly flying over the lawn.

“Bye Amity!” she calls as she flies over the wrought iron gate. 

Amity waves, feeling the wide smile pulling at her face as she watches Luz disappear into the dark of the night.

“She’s got style, I’ll give her that.” 

Amity jumps at her brother's voice and spins around to find the twins standing in the doorway looking smug.

“Your girlfriend is something else, Amity.” Emira laughs.

Amity freezes at the word ‘girlfriend’. They hadn’t discussed anything of the sort...but… she slowly smiles to herself as she thinks about everything that had happened tonight and about the date she had tomorrow.

“Yeah, she is,” she agrees and the twins grin.

“How’d she make her ears pointed?” Edric wonders.

Amity doesn't seem to be listening now, lost in a world of her own and the twins share a knowing look.

"Good job, sis." He gives her a nudge, bringing her back to the present.

"Yeah, she's a catch," Emira agrees and Amity turns to her sister. She's finally put all the pieces together. Emira knew and had been pushing them together all this time.

She suddenly flings herself into her arms.

Emira blinks, surprised.

"I know what you did." Amity's voice is muffled against her sister's dress. "Thank you."

Smiling the older Blight girl wraps her arms around her little sister and squeezes.

"Anytime"

Edric just blinks at them, confused.

~ ~ ~

Luz is so giddy as she flies through the air it finally bursts out of her in a loud whoop and did barrel rolls on the staff with glee.

“She likes me!” Luz screams out into the cool night air. 

She grins all the way home, and her cheeks hurt, but she just can't stop smiling.

When she lands in front of the owl house. Hooty is asleep and she pushes the door open quietly and shuts it silently once she steps inside.

“How’d it go?” 

Luz jumps six feet in the air at the voice.

She turns to see Eda and Lillith sitting on the couch with two cups of tea.

“Oh...well…” 

The smile that blooms on her apprentice’s face tells Eda all she needs to know.

“Come tell us about it.” She pats the empty space between them. 

Luz lays Owlbert against the wall and plops down between the sisters.

Now that she is closer, the sisters can see her better and Eda erupts into loud, uncontrollable laughter that makes tears gather in her eyes.

“W-what?” Luz blinks at her and Lillith seems to see what Eda thinks is so funny and covers her mouth with a hand to stifle her laughter.

“Maybe don’t tell us everything!” Eda manages to get out between choked laughter.

Lilith manages to get herself under control much quicker.

“You… have a little something…” she points to her own mouth and Luz jumps up and runs to the standing mirror on the other side of the room to look at herself and her cheeks turn crimson. 

Light pink lipstick is smeared across her mouth.

Eda continues to howl. 

[actualbird]

nobody asked but here are my personal top five pat gill videos | a 2.1k word long post where i rank and review pat gill’s videos for just way too long.

Right around the tail end of April, 2020, I fell into the rabbit hole of my current obsession; Polygon Dot Com Video Content. As a consequence of this was being introduced to the phenomenon of Pat Gill. A dire consequence of that consequence was me slowly, deeply, irrevocably, finding myself attracted to this marionette of a man. So, I enjoy his content and I think he’s hot and that combined with the fact that some of my friends bully me over that latter fact has inspired me to do this: rank my personal favorite Pat Gill videos in a post that’s entirely too long.

Before I get straight into the rankings, I need to explain my process. 

First, I needed to narrow my scope. Polygon has a lot of videos. Polygon has a lot of videos with Pat Gill in them. If I didn’t narrow my scope, I would either go bonkers yonkers or have a list that would be kilometric in length and thus miss the entire point of ranking altogether. So, for my sanity, I am excluding any videos that are a part of a Polygon video series. This means no Overboard, no Gill and Gilbert, no Video Game Theatre, etc. If I included these, I would cry. I do not want to cry over Polygon Dot Com Video Producer Pat Gill.

Second, I need a criteria. If I just ranked videos with no system, I would find myself endlessly rearranging my list based on whatever thought comes out on top in my mind at the given moment. I am a disorganized person, so I need rules. I have decided that I will rank Pat Gill videos using the EEEH criteria. 

Entertainment. Do I smile, watching the video? Do I chortle? Am I filled with the embarrassing urge to show this video to my sister and derive glee from her laughing at the exact same moment I laughed? Entertainment is key.

Education. Did I come out of this video knowing something I originally did not know? More importantly, was I engaged in the learning process? I come from a family of teachers, so I have high standards when it comes to education. If I am to learn, I must learn well.

Exaltation. This is a bit of an oddball criteria, but it is important to me. The word “exalted” is defined as “elevated in rank, character, or status.” This criteria refers to how good it is at exalting, elevating, pulling me out of a depressive episode. That is to say I’ve been in a depressive episode for the past month and whether or not the video made me stop crying and brush my teeth is essential. Polygon video content has been integral to my serotonin production lately, and thus the video’s ability of acting as an audiovisual antidepressant for me factors into the rankings.

[BONUS POINTS] Hotness. How Hot Is Pat Gill In It? I felt bad, morally, ranking videos based on how good looking I thought Pat Gill was in it---because beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and all that, and people don’t exist to be beautiful, they just are, and I agree---so I’m relegating this criteria as a bonus point. Standard is 0, because he’s always hot in my mind, but he gets plus points if he is exemplary in the hotness department.

The maximum score for each of these criteria is 5 points, making the perfect score a 15, but because of the bonus points, a 20 is, hypothetically, possible. 

With that out of the way, let me dive right into it. 

5. The fastest interview ever with Ben Schwartz from Sonic the Hedgehog

Entertainment: 5 Education: 2 Exaltation: 2 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 11

Pat Gill is a good interviewer, he’s engaging and fun and keeps the interview interesting, but this interview is particularly special because it seems that, and let me quote Youtube user AudreyN who left a comment on this video stating “ben schwartz consumed all seven chaos emeralds prior to this interview.” Pat Gill and Ben Schwartz’s dynamic is amazing, and by “dynamic” I do mean “Ben Schwartz absolutely just fucking dunking on Pat Gill for 14 entire minutes.” and it is glorious.

For Entertainment this scores a solid 5. Quite honestly the funniest interview I’ve ever watched in my entire life. Just the sheer beauty in the exchange [Pat] “You would use Sonic’s power to gaslight me?” [Ben] “Just you.” In terms of Education, I guess I did learn a bunch of things about the Sonic movie that I didn’t know before, but the avenue by which it was portrayed in was not exactly the most engaging, more like I was absorbing it via watching two experts discuss on a webinar. I would have given just 1 point to Education but I made it 2 because of the wonderful knowledge that Pat Gill can draw a pretty good Sonic in a few seconds. When it comes to Exaltation, I must admit that while this video got quite a few laughs out of me, it didn’t make me want to get out of bed and take a shower. 

BONUS: Pat is +2 hot in it. His short hair makes him look very handsome. He’s a spiffy boy, in this video. Very, very good.  

4. Pat Will Not Tweet at Nintendo This Week Because He is Resting at Home — PLEASE RETWEET, Episode 12 

Entertainment: 5 Education: 0 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: +1 Total Score: 11

I know I’m breaking a rule I set for myself a few paragraphs earlier by including an episode of Please Retweet, which counts as a video series, but this is my post and I can do whatever I want. More importantly, this video is so fucking funny to me, it feels like it would be a crime not to put it in this list. 

Solid 5 out of 5 for entertainment. Pat Gill, alone in his apartment, drinking six cans of what I think is beer silently while the intro music plays. That scene in itself should win an Oscar. Sadly, a solid 0 for Education, because I learn nothing in this video except for the fact that Pat Gill is the type of person to put out a coaster and then just completely not use it. I quantify things as educational if I can maybe answer a trivia question with them, and unfortunately, this fact does not pass that test. In terms of Exaltation, seeing Pat Gill lie down on the floor next to his cat made me get out of bed to do the same with my dog, and with myself thusly out of my bed cocoon of sadness, I was able to actually complete tasks on the day I watched this video. Perfect 5.

BONUS: Pat is +1 hot in this because there’s something very beautiful about him being a little bit miserable. However, I do miss his beard when I watch this video. It is one of my favorite things about him, and it is not present here.

3. Pat and Simone Play Human: Fall Flat

Entertainment: 5 Education: 1 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: 0 Total Score: 11

I very much enjoy Polygon’s gameplay streams. I often play them in the background while I’m doing other stuff like doodling or origami, but this stream is special. It is special because of the moment at 24:00 when Pat Gill, in game, swings a stereo into a glass window, shattering it, while saying, “Actually, y’know what? Let’s talk about trauma.” and then proceeds to tell a horrible and embarrassing story from his childhood where he had to do a rap about Ancient Egypt. 

5 points for Entertainment. This is partly because of Pat’s tragic childhood story about the Egypt Rap (and, segue just to point out 33:22 the incredible moment where you can hear Pat’s feral panic when Simone finds the lyrics to the Egypt Rap) but also because Pat and Simone just talking to each other is so deeply entertaining to me in a very comfy way. I’m starved for human interaction, in this quarantime, okay. Let me enjoy listening to other people have conversations while playing video games. Education scores a 1 because, again, nothing in this video will let me answer a trivia question, however it does get 1 point and not a 0 because the Egypt Rap’s lyrics are in the comments and I did end up learning stuff about Ancient Egypt that I didn’t know. A perfect 5 for Exaltation because this video showed me that talking about trauma can actually be cathartic, given that you’re trashing a video game living room at the same time, and I think that message of not bottling up your experiences really helped me, in these trying times.

BONUS: Pat Gill is not visible for the entirety of this episode, so he scores the standard 0. I’m sure he was hot. We just couldn’t see him.  

2. Why Bloodborne and Muppets are the same thing

Entertainment: 4 Education: 4 Exaltation: 3 Hotness: +2 Total Score: 12

Ah yes, one of Pat’s “x is y because of z” videos. He’s made a number of these and they’re all very good but this one is my favorite among them and earns a spot on this list because 1) I think puppets are cool and 2) I fucking love monsters. 

This video scores a 4 on Entertainment, just shy of perfect, because as funny as it is, it also gives me the vibe like I am being lectured by a professor who’s just a little bit off the shits. And we all know that lectures are supposed to be taken seriously. Which brings us to Education, which also scores a 4. I learned a lot in this video! Watching Pat Gill explain to me that children’s puppets and these horrifying viddy game monsters use the same character principles in different ways is not only very educational but is also explained in a streamline and easy to understand manner that I WISH some of the shitty professors at my old university could emulate. As for Exaltation, while this video did give me enough energy to have a meal, I did eventually end up back in bed for the night at 8pm crying myself to sleep, thinking “I’m like the slime scholar. Used to be a scholar. Now they’re slime.” 

BONUS: Pat Gill is +2 hot here. He’s rockin that basic ass monochromatic aesthetic and I love his look dearly. 

1. Preparing for Big Boy Season in Red Dead Redemption 2 

Entertainment: 5 Education: 3 Exaltation: 5 Hotness: +3 Total Score: 16

Here we are. My favorite non video series Pat Gill video. The video where Pat Gill tries to make Red Dead Redemption 2 protagonist, Arthur Morgan, large. 

Perfect fucking 5 for Entertainment, which I’m sure many may find odd. Afterall, this video is told in a serious investigative tone reminiscent of Vox’s videos on current issues. But that’s the glory of it. The complete and utter ‘playing it straight and serious’ for a ridiculous issue in a video game. It is high tier comedy in a subtle, understated way that sings to my comedy loving heart in a melody so lovely, so wonderful, that it urged me to give this video 5 points for Entertainment. It scores 3 on Education, because I have never played Red Dead Redemption 2, nor will I ever, but now I know things about it. The information was also relayed to me in a very interesting style, via something like a crime procedural, and thus it was engaging for me to absorb all this new knowledge. Exaltation scores a perfect 5 because of this video’s beautiful end about existential smallness. No joke, but hearing Pat Gill say “Our bigness isn’t measured in pounds, but in the impact we have on the people with whom we shared the world.” deadass made me want to talk to my friends again after conversationally isolating myself for 3 days. Preparing for Big Boy Season has a special place in my heart. And there it will stay.

BONUS: Pat Gill is not visible for most of the video but he does appear for like 15 seconds in the middle of it, and guess what. He’s hot. +3 hotness. Good beardage, good hair, all in all, good Pat Gill. 

So there you have it. My five favorite Pat Gill videos. If you read this whole thing, holy shit. You’re welcome, I guess.

[httpjeon]

— 04. bunny blues: guilt | yoongi & jungkook

yoongi/reader/jungkook | angst, fluff | hybrid!au

wordcount: 1.7k

― synopsis: you’re left alone for the first time with jungkook.

contents: mentions of past hybrid abuse, mentions of abandonment, mentions of weight loss & depressive behavior, (hybrid)scenting, still fluff tho

note: short update but,,,we got shit comin’. reminder reader is a bunny hybrid, jk is a dog hybrid, and yoongs is human!

blog masterlist ɪɴᴅᴇx: 01 | 02 | 03 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08

© httpjeon 2019. do not repost, modify, or translate.

By hiding in your bedroom for the next couple days, you managed to avoid all confrontation with Yoongi. Neither man bothered you, opting to give you space. However, they would come to your room to let you know food was ready. You'd taken to simply eating in your room, or getting up after they went to bed to eat leftovers that Yoongi always left wrapped in the refrigerator for you; all to avoid them. It wasn't healthy and you were sure you were losing weight but you couldn't shake yourself out of the negative headspace you'd dug yourself into.

You took Jungkook's words to heart so seriously that you couldn't even realize the damage you were causing in the process.

It was a Monday, you knew because Yoongi came in to let you know. If not for him, you were completely out of the loop on the day.

"Wake up, honey," He whispered, using the opportunity to pet your ears until your eyes opened. "I've got to go to work, my leave is over."

"You're leaving?" You whispered, sitting up a little bit to see it was still dark outside.

"I'll be back tonight, don't worry," He smiled, petting your bedhead down. "Jungkookie will be here with you, so you won't be alone, alright?"

"Okay," You muttered and laid back in bed. You felt the urge to hug him but managed to suppress it.

"See you," He called before leaving the room.

You faintly heard him leave the house altogether as you drifted back to sleep.

The sun was peeking through your curtains the next time your eyes opened, but it wasn't the sun that woke you up ― it was a knock on your bedroom door. It could only be one person.

"Yes?" You grumbled, sitting up in bed.

"Get up and come eat," Jungkook ordered, voice more strict than you'd ever heard it.

"I-I'm not hungry," You muttered, still feeling bad about lying to him.

"I don't care. Get up," He snapped before turning away and walking down the hall, footsteps fading.

You sighed, knowing you had no choice but to do as he told you to do. You pulled yourself out of bed and changed into some comfortable house clothes ― just a sweater and some shorts.

Once you were in the living room, you found a plate on the coffee table of what appeared to be some kind of soup. Jungkook was sitting on the floor, watching cartoons on the television.

"I uh...I've never made food for bunnies so...I hope it's okay," He admitted, looking over his shoulder after pausing his own eating. "Yoongi-hyung left me the instructions so if it's bad, blame him."

You smiled fondly at his admission and picked up the spoon, immediately fishing out a couple of the cooked carrots. You hummed, sipping the soup to help wash them down.

"It's yummy, Jungkook," You complimented and though he didn't turn around, his tail thumped against the floor happily.

You finished the rest of the soup just as he finished his own food.

"I'll wash the dishes," He offered, taking your bowl. But instead of going to the kitchen with them, he put them on the table to bother with them later.

Typical Jungkook move.

It fell into sudden silence and you found yourself fidgeting. You didn't feel comfortable but Jungkook didn’t seem to even notice as his gaze was fixed on the TV.

"I-I guess I'll leave," You finally stuttered into the awkward atmosphere, preparing to go back to hiding in your room.

Jungkook reached out and snatched a hold of your wrist, halting you from taking even a step. He scooted back so he was sitting on the couch as well, pulling you to sit beside him.

"Don't go," He muttered, his ears drooping sadly. You both sat in silence for a moment, the cartoon playing on the TV while Jungkook continued to hold your wrist.

"I'm sorry," He said suddenly and it had your ears twitching in interest.

"F-For what?"

"You know for what," He whispered, reaching up to scratch nervously at his own ear. "I-I didn't mean anything I said that night. I was scared and jealous and...it was an ugly feeling. I lashed out on you and I shouldn't have done that."

"...Scared of what?" You asked, taking his hand in yours as you sat beside him, ready to listen to everything he had to say.

"O-Of losing Yoongi-hyung," He admitted, voice beginning to wobble as he admitted his fear.

"Yoongi wouldn't leave you just because I was there, Jungkook. He loves you," You reassured, squeezing his hand for emphasis.

"I know that, but...at the time I just...all I could think was that he'd choose you over me and I'd be all alone again," He croaked, swallowing thickly.

"Again?" You pried.

"My owner before Yoongi-hyung," Jungkook sniffled, beginning to cry. "He was really mean and he would leave me alone for days with no food, When he was home he would be really mean to me ― you know, he'd hit me and call me names. It was horrible."

Your heart ached at Jungkook's confession. You'd never guess he had such a horrible life before you met him.

"Y-Yoongi-hyung saved me," Jungkook choked out, leaning over to rest his head on your shoulder. "And I was excited you were here, I was! B-But I didn't want him to love you more than me and I'm sorry..."

"It's okay Jungkookie," You admitted, wrapping your arm around him to give him a hug. "M-My first owner was a little boy when I was young," You began, earning his attention. “His mom got me because she thought I'd be easier to care for than a kitty or puppy. But...when they found out how much care I needed, they sent me to a shelter."

"That's so mean," Jungkook whispered, his full attention on you.

"Joonie brought me to his home...and now I'm here." You sighed. "I-I got scared when you told me Yoongi didn't like it when I was needy because that's the reason I lost my last two homes. I really like you and Yoongi and I didn't want to mess up my chance again."

"I shouldn't have ever opened my mouth," He sniffled. "I saw how much my words hurt you but I was...I was too self-absorbed in being the only one Yoongi-hyung paid attention to again! And then I heard you crying the other night and I knew I went too far and that it wasn't fair for you to be miserable because I'm a jealous baby."

"You're not a baby, Kookie," You whined, wrapping your arms around his middle to hug him. "I understand why you did it, I really do. And I forgive you!"

"You do?" He asked, looking down to peek at how sincere you were.

"I do," You smiled, pulling away so he could see your face.

"I'm so glad," He hugged you back. This time the hug lasted for a long while. "And Yoongi-hyung will be glad too. He was really worried about you."

"I know," You whispered. "I felt bad...I could tell he was worried but I thought he just didn't want to get in trouble for mistreating a hybrid."

"Yoongi isn't like that. He cares about you and I more than he cares about himself," His words had you smiling because you knew, deep down, that it was true. Yoongi was selfless, a kind and gentle soul who would give up anything to make others happy. He had a big heart and you could feel his love.

The two of you finally settled down, laying on the couch together to watch the cartoon.

"So what is this?" You asked, making Jungkook gasp.

"You don't know Scooby-Doo?!"

You and Jungkook were sitting together on the floor, you in his lap, watching Scooby-Doo when the front doorknob began to jiggle.You bolted out of Jungkook's lap and raced to the front door. Jungkook trudged along behind you, obviously not understanding your utter excitement.

The second Yoongi stepped into the house, loosening his tie, you launched yourself against him. He sputtered in surprise, eyes wide as he looked at Jungkook, who began to grin.

"Y-You're in a good mood," Yoongi stuttered, slowly returning your hug until he was holding you tightly against him.

"Did you have a nice day?" You chirped, resting your chin on his chest to look up at him while keeping your arms around his waist.

"Yeah I-I did," He laughed, petting your head so your ears were pressed against your head. "Are you hungry?"

"Yeah!" You replied, finally pulling away from the hug.

"Go wash up and I'll start dinner," Yoongi cooed, gently tapping your back s you bounced away into the bathroom. Once you were gone, he fixed his questioning gaze on the dog-hybrid.

"We had a talk," Jungkook confessed, shrugging sheepishly.

"I see it did some good," Yoongi reached up and scratched Jungkook's ears fondly, showing how proud he was of his hybrid's work. "Come help me make dinner."

You splashed water on your face, wiping away whatever dirt or sweat accumulated through the day. You made sure the clean under your fingernails with the sweet-smelling soap Yoongi had chosen for you; a special kind made for bunnies.

You looked in the mirror, smiling to yourself. You looked much happier than you had in days. It was like there was a huge weight lifted off your shoulders thanks to Jungkook apologizing. To say you were happy everything could go back to normal was an understatement.

After drying your hands, you crept out of the bathroom and into the kitchen where Jungkook was sitting at the table doodling on a paper and Yoongi was standing at the stove.

"How do you feel about vegetable stir-fry, ______?" Yoongi asked, tossing you a beaming smile over his shoulder.

"Sounds delicious," Just as you were about to sit in your chair, Jungkook was tugging you to sit in his lap.

"Draw with me," He whispered, his breath fanning over your ears, making you shiver.

"I don't know how," You admitted, taking the colored pencil in your hand. You nearly shrieked when you suddenly felt lips grazing across your neck, right where your scent gland was. You shivered at the realization of what was happening.

Jungkook was scenting you ― for the first time.

"That's okay, I'll teach you," He cooed, kissing your neck ever so softly that you missed it.

With Yoongi humming and cooking and Jungkook wrapping you up in his arms with his scent emanating off of you ― you felt happier than ever.

[sadienita]

Maison des cartes - The Hierophant

Witch!Dami x Gender Neutral Reader

Word Count: 3.7k

Contents: magic, kidnapping, a cage, being held captive

Previous | Next 

~

tradition conformity

~

A suffocating blackness rushed in around you in an instant. You gasped for air in what felt like the vacuum of space as you felt something around your waist pulling you through the nothingness, eyes shutting against the darkness, not making any difference as you did. Your head felt light and woozy as your consciousness slipped away and a distant voice said “help her.”

You had no memory of hitting the ground. The only thing that let you know you did was the dull pain in your back and the back of your head and the fact that you were lying down. Your disoriented mind reached for any details to help you as your eyes fluttered open and you furrowed your brows, eyes bleary in the sunlight streaming in the window.

“I-I’m so sorry!” You forced your eyes open as fear shot through your heart at the unfamiliar voice. Your vision was blurred but you made out the shape of a young woman leaning over you. Closer in your vision swam her hand, offering it to you to help you up. You took it cautiously, trying to make sense of where you were and what was happening.

“What happened?” you mumbled, getting up slowly and rubbing the back of your head. The woman ushered you to a comfy chair and helped you sit down.

“I-I think the potion caused you to faint,” she fretted.

“The… potion…” How you hadn’t seen it until now you had no clue but there was very clearly a large, bubbling cauldron in the center of the room. You blinked at it, your foggy head still confused. You knew you had been in the abandoned house and the door was stuck. You remembered fog. How did you get here? Why did she have such a large cooking pot?

“Yes, it really wasn’t supposed to do that at all. God I’m so bad at this,” she muttered, heading to her shelf where a number of bottles with brightly coloured liquids sat. You watched groggily as she pulled on a certain small bottle and the shelf shifted, revealing a space in a wall behind where she grabbed another potion before returning to you.

“Here,” she handed it to you. “Drink this.”

You stared at the little bottle, thick looking dark green liquid was swirling slowly inside, as if moving of its own volition. A grimace tugged at your lips as you imagined what it could taste like, trying to figure out what it was, as the woman fidgeted in front of you.

“I-It’ll help… w-with the pain I mean,” you looked up at her and she gazed at you nervously. “It- It’ll make you feel better.”

You barely had any idea what was going on but you felt it was probably your best option. You didn’t know if you should trust her or not but what other choice did you have? None of this made any sense to you and your confusion still clouded your mind as you pulled out the stopper and took a swig.

The liquid tasted foul but that wasn’t what made you throw the bottle. The feeling, like a tingling or prickling as it slid down your throat, almost like it had a mind of its own, was what caused you to throw the bottle. You couldn’t manage a scream past the thick liquid as you choked it down and a warm feeling started to melt over your body.

The woman yelled something in a strange language and the bottle stopped in midair, slowly changing course and floating into her hand. As the drink went down you began to cough, barely even noticing how your pain had vanished as she rushed to give you water but you scrambled back in the chair, watching her with frightened eyes.

“Please,” she whispered. “Please just take it, it’s just water; it’ll make you feel better.”

“I-I what-”

“Shhh,” she hushed you. “Please just drink the water. I promise I’ll-” The woman froze and you heard the sounds of footsteps coming closer.

“No,” she whimpered. She grabbed you forcefully and pulled you towards what looked like a cage. “Just, sit in there and be quiet, even pretend to sleep. Just- don’t draw attention to yourself I promise I’ll let you out again.”

You didn’t have much time to react as she was pushing you into the cage, your brain clearing bit by bit and your heart starting to race. You looked back at her as she locked it and looked at you sadly. “Please,” she hissed. “Just pretend to sleep please I know you’re scared.”

You nodded slowly, holding in any and all sounds as she drew away, moving the shelves until they were in their original position. As someone knocked on the door you laid down and closed your eyes, figuring her advice was the only advice you had. You breathed slowly as you laid on the hard ground, listening intently and keeping your face even.

The door creaked open and you heard a rough, man’s voice. “What’s with all the noise?”

“They passed out from the potion,” the woman said nonchalantly. “I haven't got the formula right yet.”

“You’re not going to wake them up and try again? They can take it.”

“That’s not why I left them,” she snapped. “What’s the point? I need to make adjustments, might as well let them stay knocked out until I need them. This way they’re quiet.”

The man hummed. “Yeah, I guess so. Just don’t make such a racket.”

“Of course,” she said cooly. “Now can I work?”

The man let out a grunt as he stalked out of the room. You stayed frozen in your spot until you heard the woman fiddling with the lock and you warily looked up at her.

“You can come out now, I-I’m really sorry about that.”

“What? Why did-?”

“Here,” she said, a little shaky herself as she helped you out of the cage and back into the chair. “I’ll explain, just rest for a moment.”

You nodded slowly as she hurried around the room, trying to calm your heart and process what you’d heard, trying to make sense of it all. The woman seemed to boil a kettle with her hands before pouring you a cup of tea and rushing it over to you. You accepted it gratefully and she pulled up a chair to sit with you.

“I’m sorry about this,” she worried. “I wish I could do more for you.” 

“I’m still confused as to how I got here,” you mumbled.

“I…” she bit down on her lip, seeming to think for a moment. “You don’t have magic, correct?”

“Not as far as I know,” you mumbled, taking a shaky sip of your tea that tasted much better than the potion.

The woman fiddled with her cup. “Then they would have told you nothing. You’re…”  she hesitated. “Ah, a test subject.”

You froze and stared at her with wide eyes and she babbled on quickly. “T-Try not to worry. I want to keep you safe. I-I just need t-to, keep lying to them.”

“Wh-Who?”

“My family,” she muttered. “We’re all- I- Oh! I-I’m sorry I’m Yoobin, or Dami, whichever really. I- We all have magic but… they- they aren’t nice to people without magic.”

You just stared at her, trying to absorb all the things she said. 

“You’re here so we can create new spells a-and, uh, I guess you know already. Th-That potion might have knocked out some of your memory though. I’m going to try and keep you with me. You’re one of the only ones here right now but I need you the most anyway and the others…” She trailed off.

“I can’t leave,” you said quietly.

“I’m going to try,” her eyes flickered towards the door. “M-Maybe.”

“Maybe?” you questioned.

“It’s- I can’t just go. We… We do things a certain way here and even this,” she motioned between the two of you. “Isn’t allowed.”

You sat quietly for a moment, thinking. “You’re not even supposed to make health potions are you?”

She shook her head. “They can’t know. If they found out what I actually make…”

“You need to leave too,” you said, perking up.

“N-No, no they would find me. I’ll be good to you here, I promise.”

You reached forward and took Yoobin’s hands shakily. “What do you need to do, to run away and not be found?”

“I-I- I’m not sure… u-um some potions a-and cloaking spells. But-”

You shook your head. “We’re doing it.”

~

Your ability to help Yoobin was limited to be sure. You had no magical powers whatsoever and she’d warned you against touching anything unless she told you to. You were glad that she kept you near her so much. You barely had any contact with the rest of her family but they were still around from time to time to see what she was doing and as much as you hated going in the cage, and sometimes staying long when they wanted to stay with her, spying or snooping on her work, you were grateful that they left without paying you much attention. 

You did hate sleeping and you barely slept much at night. She’d apologized to you every night as she took you to what felt like jail cells, locking you up near some other non magical people who looked to be in worse shape than you were. You knew if the family started to suspect too much it would ruin all the preparation.

You still didn’t like being in the cells though. You wanted to help the others but none of you talked and you had a feeling they’d been told not to. You were always worried that someone else would come and grab you before Yoobin did. She was late to bring you to bed and early to pick you up but it wasn’t like everyone was on a strict schedule and today, like every other morning, you sat anxiously waiting for her to come.

Heavy footsteps echoed from down the hallway and you heard a whimper from a nearby cell. You squeezed yourself back on the hard bed, hoping that whoever it was wouldn’t notice you, would pass you by. Was it bad to wish that? If that harm didn’t come to you it came to someone else.

“Well well,” the voice you recognized, even if you had never looked at his face before. His frame was large but he was well put together. His hands were casually resting in his pockets and his slicked back hair, like the sly smile on his face, made your stomach turn. “Yoobin’s late today.”

You sucked back your reactions as his hands started to fiddle with the lock. You knew he could undo it with magic so why he was bothering to use his hands you didn’t know, maybe just to prolong the moment. You had a feeling he enjoyed fear.

“You know it’s first come first serve,” he drawled. “The early bird gets the worm.”

The door swung open and you felt yourself standing against your own will before something invisible grabbed you around the throat and dragged you closer. You grasped at the nothingness around your own neck, gasping as he chuckled and pulled you against him.

“And you are a worm,” he murmured. “But a good one, if Yoobin’s keeping you all to herself. Let’s see what all the fuss is about, shall we?”

“Let them go.” You couldn’t turn to see Yoobin but you could hear her icy, low tone. 

“Finders keepers,” he drawled, staring down the hallway with you in tow, still gasping for air.

You felt Yoobin’s hand grab you. “They stay with me,” she said evenly.

“You can have one of the others,” sneered. “I want to see what about them has you all excited.”

In an instant air rushed into your needy lungs and you gasped, Yoobin catching you as the man went flying. He landed with a loud crash at the far end of the hall.

“What the hell do you need them for that badly?” he growled.

“You know my experiments take days. They’re delicate and even your stupid spell could have messed them up you absolute imbecil. Don’t touch them again.”

Yoobin grabbed your wrist and dragged you behind her, moving at a brisk pace down the hallway. She squeezed it tight as a warning not to talk or in fear that he would follow. Either way you stayed silent as you made your way to her room, too shaken to collect your thoughts.

~

Yoobin helped you out of the cage, still listening intently to make sure the hallway was really empty for another moment before setting you in the chair. You quietly took the tray with willow sticks again and began carefully striping them with your shaky hands.

“They’re suspicious.” She mumbled

“Yep,” you said quietly.

“I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “They usually leave you alone when you’re in there…”

They usually did. It had taken all of Yoobin’s protests to keep them from pulling you out to “have some fun” as they put it. They questioned why they couldn’t and complained that Yoobin was always testing things that were too delicate and that surely one little jinx, a few spells, a hex, wouldn’t hurt.

Well wouldn’t hurt her project anyway.

You had done your best to stay steady, to not show them too much emotion like she’d told you but you were sure they could see the fear in your eyes and it had only made them want to mess with you more. You had a feeling she nearly threw them out with magic but as you had gathered that was also not allowed and she had already been in trouble for doing it before.

“It has to be soon,” she said nervously. “If we wait too long…”

You weren’t sure what she was thinking, but you agreed. There were definitely more and them and you shuddered to think what they would do with both of you if they figured out your plans or caught you. She’d drawn up the plans for rescuing the others and to escape, how to get out undetected and with the last potion brewing, you knew your time was wearing thin.

“Three days,” she said, and her voice sounded more terrified than you’d ever heard it. “The potion will be done in two, that gives me time to bottle it and pack things.”

You nodded numbly. “Three days.”

~

You wouldn’t be sleeping tonight. Even if it were a regular night you wouldn’t sleep. You were wide awake, anxious and nervous about the plan. You knew the others in the house slept, but some might be awake, they had odd schedules. Others didn’t trust Yoobin. You knew her plan was to stay up late in her study and wave off anyone who tried to get her to sleep, insisting she was on the verge of a breakthrough with her sleeping potion.

You didn’t know if they had left her alone. No one had come down to the cells and you figured no one would now. It had to be beyond midnight now, with a new moon tonight there was little light to see by and it only had you lost in your thoughts even more. This place seemed surreal to you, like some long dream, but it felt all too real. You’d managed to get caught up in this scheme but you had no clue if it was what you meant to do.

A very quiet set of footsteps came down the hallway and you strained your eyes, looking for a figure in the dark, and holding your gasp when moments after the footsteps stopped the door to the cell swung open and Yoobin’s head popped out of thin air. Her hand joined her, floating in space and she beckoned to you and you tiptoed out of the cell. 

Yoobin was silent and you were sure even in the low light pale as she pressed a key into your hand and motioned to one of the other cells. You followed her lead opening it and shaking awake the girl inside. She took in a breath to scream but you covered her mouth quickly.

“We’re escaping,” you whispered.

The girl nodded and followed close to you as Yoobin motioned to you to open one more cell. You did as you were told. The boy inside was wide awake and already standing at the bars. He looked young and you wondered how old he must be. The second you released him he dashed across the hall and wrapped his arms around another girl who looked just like him. The two cried quietly and you thought they must be siblings as Yoobin let out the last person and turned to all of you, pulling a stopper out of a potion bottle, handing it to you first.

“Drink this,” she whispered. “It’ll make you invisible.” The others looked wary but you drank the liquid readily, sweet and strangely warm as it travelled down your throat before your body faded into the shadows. The others slowly took turns drinking and one by one disappeared as Yoobin cast incantations over you to quiet your footsteps.

“I’ll lead,” she said. “Follow my feet. If I stop, you stop. Okay?” Yoobin took a deep breath before covering herself. Her feet were the only things even a little visible as she made her way down the hall.

The basements were quiet and dark. The air seemed to chill you, though maybe that was just your fear. You worried that the others were left behind but you had to trust they would follow. You heard Yoobin’s quiet whisper, telling you all to remain silent at all times before turning a corner. 

The house seemed like a maze but Yoobin knew it well, leading you until you came to a large staircase. The house above seemed just as dark and she led the group silently up, charming the door to move silently as she let you all out into the house and started down hallways.

Light from rooms cast shadows as she moved you through what must have been servants quarters. The hallways were narrow and long and only the slight sight of feet let you know that you weren’t wandering aimlessly on your own. Every little sound made you jump and you swallowed down every single fear that rose inside of you, hoping that this would work.

You were sure you heard a floorboard creak under one of you. Yoobin’s feet didn’t stop, and neither did yours until a door just up ahead swung open and Yoobin’s heels disappeared.

One of the men you had only seen once stepped out of the room, his eyes scanning the hallway slowly. You held your breath, afraid to move even a hair for fear that he would know, that he would hear or see something. 

You suddenly wondered what could make the potion wear off.

The man raised his hand and opened his mouth but at the same time, some things seemed to fall within his study.

“Damn poltergeist,” he muttered before stalking back into his room.

Yoobin’s feet reappeared and you followed them. The corridors turned quiet and darker as you moved to the outer edge of the house. Floors creaked but no one seemed to hear, too far from where people were sleeping or working late into the night.

You had no idea how long it was that you moved but you were still surprised when she opened a door and the cool night breeze hit you. Yoobin’s head appeared and she motioned to move, quietly asking if everyone was out before closing the door behind you all. You stood in the dark and watched anxiously as she cast a spell on the door. You knew she had to erase traces of what you’d done, how you’d left. 

“We’re not done yet,” she mumbled. “Follow me.” Yoobin’s head was uncovered as she led you through the dew-wet grass and into the forests. She said they weren’t the safest but they were the easiest option to get away before you could really travel.

As you trekked through the forest and the sun started to peek over the horizon the potion began to wear off. You managed to see outlines of the others and then see their faces properly. It was a relief to see no one was lost and Yoobin smiled back at the group with relief as you kept moving, her casting incantations every so often to hide your footprints. No doubt they would have realized by now that you were gone, and for as tired as you were you were happy to be away from the house, though the thought in your mind of how to get home was still there.

As day fully broke and sunlight poured over the land you chattered with the others, a sense of joy over all of you as Yoobin led you up a hill overlooking a village. She stopped at the top and reached into her bag, pulling out an old hat and placing it on the ground.

“This will take us somewhere far away,” she said. “We’ll be safe, just give me a moment.” You watched her as he cast the spells she needed before standing and stepping towards you.

“You know I couldn’t have done it without you.” she said.

“You did all the work!” you said “I-I just-”

Yoobin shook her head. “I never would have been brave enough. I would have given up without you there.” She hugged you. “Thank you.”

You couldn’t help hugging her back. “Thank you, too.”

When she pulled back she sniffled slightly before turning to the hat. “Okay, everyone take hold to it.” You all did as she said, the last pair of hands grabbing the hat and wind suddenly whipping around you, making it harder and harder to breath as you lost all sense of land under you. Your head felt dizzy and your eyes slid closed as your fingers slipped from the hat.

~

rebellion

~

“God,” you muttered, sitting up from the floor. You rubbed the back of your head as you looked around, your eyes recognizing the dark living room. The card caught your eye and you let out a strangled yelp as it turned 180 degrees before disappearing in a puff of smoke. In its place a torn piece of sheet music sat as the smoke cleared and you cautiously took it between your fingers as you stood up.

Masterlist

[sithsecrets]

A Matter of Expediency - Part I

After being married off to Kylo Ren in the name of securing an heir to the First Order’s throne, a princess tries to navigate the ins and outs of married life. As she grows closer to her new husband, the princess also carves out a place for herself in the Order, assuming control over her life when she thought she would have none.

---

Part 1

1k words

Mentions: a little mild angst, sex (in a very non-explicit way, it’s almost not even a thing)

---

Rocking gently from side to side, you laze about in a hammock, warmed by the sun’s sweet beams. With bare feet and undone hair, you could not be more carefree, flanked by your ladies who are just as absorbed in lounging about as you are. You cherish afternoons like these, ones where you’re able to shirk formality and responsibility in favor of relaxing. It sounds terribly lazy, you know, but so much of your time as of late has been spent being hyper aware of every aspect of your behavior and appearance— it’s nice to just be yourself, even for a few hours.

You and your ladies watch the sun move towards the horizon, content to munch on fruit and trade tidbits of gossip until it grows dark outside. Sabe’s recently had a tryst with a high-ranking member of the royal guard, and the lot of you are deeply involved in the drama of it all. So involved, in fact, that it takes someone clearing their throat to make any of you tear yourselves away from Sabe’s story.

“Your Majesty,” says the guard before you, bowing deeply as you move to climb out of your hammock. Your movements are slightly lacking in grace, given how startled you were, but you think you manage to recover rather well once you’re upright.

The guard tells you that your uncle wants an audience with you at once, and when you press for details regarding why, he has none to offer you. It’s a concerning thing, your uncle asking for you like this, because he has told you that he would be busy entertaining Order officials well into the evening. As you quickly slip on your shoes and begin trekking back to the palace, you cannot help but worry that something’s gone sour between your planet and the Order, and stars, what a frightening thought that is.

Breezing into the receiving room with purpose, all trains of thought are frightened right out of you as you lay eyes on the man in your uncle’s company. He’s large, very imposing and intimidating, and the scar that splits his face does nothing to make him any more approachable. You’ve seen Kylo Ren before, of course, having received him when he and his men made landing on your planet, but it’s quite a different thing to make his acquaintance without warning. Still, though, you put on a brave face, ever the well-trained diplomat.

“Supreme Leader,” you say in greeting, curtsying deeply. “I hope you can forgive my appearance. I thought my uncle would be receiving me alone.”

Kylo Ren says nothing to this, simply keeps his penetrating gaze fixed on you. You almost wish he would reprimand you or show some sort of disdain for your impropriety— at least that wouldn’t be so unnerving.

Pressing on, you turn to speak to your uncle, but he doesn’t let you have the chance to start.

“You met her when you arrived, but I thought it would be prudent for you to see her again,” your uncle says to the Supreme Leader, and something about his tone and expression makes you feel uneasy.

The sick feeling in your stomach only worsens as Kylo Ren keeps fucking staring at you, saying nothing and doing nothing. You can tell you’re being shown off to him right now, and though you hate the very idea of being displayed like an object, you wish the Supreme Leader would just do something. You can handle being leered at or decried as ugly, it’s happened before, but all of this almost clinical observation you’re undergoing is positively terrifying.

“How old is she?” he finally asks, and he’s definitely not talking to you.

“Several years past the age of majority, Supreme Leader,” your uncle answers quickly. It makes your blood boil, being spoken about like you’re not right there, but you do your best to school your expression. If Kylo Ren were anyone else, you wouldn’t indulge him in this behavior, but everyone knows that challenging a member of the Order is foolish at best. Besides, there’s something larger at play here, and you need to find out what it is.

The Supreme Leader seems satisfied by your uncle’s answer because he nods just once, slowly and deliberately. And then Kylo Ren’s walking away, turning on his heel and heading back into the halls of the palace with your uncle running after him like a lapdog.

---

That night, as everyone drinks and makes merry at the dinner table, you know you are being watched. You can feel the Supreme Leader’s eyes on you from the other end of the table, and stars does his attention unsettle you. He’s such a quiet man, Kylo Ren, quiet in a way that’s almost unnerving. He has a keen eyes, always observing what goes on around him, and since he and his people arrived, you’ve never seen the Supreme Leader partake in drinking, or drugs, or any of the other vices that have been offered to him since he arrived. Quite frankly, you’re the first woman he’s so much as glanced at, despite the advances of other women in your uncle’s court. In your heart of hearts, you know that it has something to do with that odd little interaction that occurred earlier this afternoon, but you almost don’t want to know what any of that was about. Unfortunately, though, you think you might already know.

Finally, after an hour of being watched, you scrape together every ounce of your courage and lock eyes with the Supreme Leader. The tension between the both of you is palpable, so you smile shyly, just to do something. Kylo Ren doesn’t smile back, not really, but you think that the little nod he gives you is his way of cordially acknowledging your gesture.

As you prepare for bed that night, you gather your ladies around you and address them rather sadly.

“You’ve all been such good friends to me,” you tell them, making a point of looking intently at every single one of their pretty, confused faces.

Your ladies as you what you mean by that, but you don’t have an answer for them, not yet. It’s only an idea, but you think that your time on your home planet will come to an end soon.

“I just want all of you to know how much I love you,” you whisper, and you will yourself not to cry in front of your dearest friends.