#But the obvious difference is the bands want to meet *him* backstage after the show!

[aeolianblues]

Grian went to see the French band Papooz

[aphrogeneias]

can we please hear more about rockstar!eddie and assistant!reader if you’re up to writing about them? how would she (and everyone else!) react when he dedicates a love song for her on stage? is he really obvious that it’s for her or does he try and be subtle for her sake and so rick etc don’t know?

author's note: a follow up to this valentine's blurb.

“You’re gonna want to see this.”

Dustin Henderson was one of a kind.

You had little time to reminisce as the boy pulled you by the hand through the narrow corridors behind the stage — but you remembered the day he joined the crew as if it were yesterday.

The funny thing was that, when you were officially introduced, that wasn't the first time you'd seen him. He'd been around a lot, sneaking out backstage after multiple shows, despite being dragged out by security every time. The guys liked him though, especially Eddie, who'd taken a liking to the smart mouthed boy.

Reminded him of someone he knew.

After a full run of midwestern cities and smaller venues across different towns, through Eddie’s approval and promise he'd look after him, Dustin joined the crew as a roadie. The kid seemed right at home in the midst of all the chaos, and though you worried about him, you knew they got his back.

Dustin was smart, and knew what he wanted. If life on the road was what he wanted, then you'd have let him have it. You also knew Eddie wouldn't let anything happen to him, in the same way he looked out for you.

Anyone who had Eddie Munson on their corner could consider themselves lucky.

“What's going on?” You laughed, completely out of nervousness. He was taking you down the path you knew led to the stage, and you wouldn't be needed there until the end of the concert. You'd been looking at some spare equipment, taking note of what needed to be replaced, when Dustin called for you.

“You'll see!” He looked back at you, his youthful smile a beacon. “C’mon.”

He pushed you up front until you stood at the side of the stage, where Rick was already waiting for you. Your boss nodded at you, a bored look in his eyes. Your heart felt like it would pound right out of your chest, sweaty hands grabbing onto your notebook.

“What's going on, Rick?”

“I know just as much as you, kid.” He said, unamused. “No fucking idea.”

The band had just finished the second third of their set, and as the crowd roared for more, Eddie — your boyfriend, in all his glory, glowing under the attention he soaked like a sponge — addressed them.

One of the roadies came from the other side, taking his loyal Warlock away, handing him his black acoustic guitar. The machine that slayed dragons.

He'd thanked them, first, before launching into an introduction. “Uh, this one is a new one. Straight from the next album, you'll be the first to hear it. A little slower than usual, I hope you crazy motherfuckers can forgive us for that.”

The crowd reacted with a cheer, regardless.

“If you can't, well, too fucking bad.” He'd laughed, earning a cackle from Jeff right beside him. He continued, then, unexpectedly. “This one's for you, you know who you are.”

Eddie looked to the side for just one second, meeting your eyes. His own were expectant, big and bright under the spotlights, while yours remained glued to him, too shocked to form a proper reaction.

With no time to lose, the band followed into the song. A ballad, for the very first time. The lyrics were ambiguous enough, not obviously romantic, but they hit you like a bullet.

You knew. He knew you, and you knew him. There was nothing else to be said.

You'd forgotten how to breathe. Midway through the song, trembling on your feet, you looked back at Dustin, and he sheepishly looked back.

You whispered, “Did he put you to that?”

He nodded. “You're welcome.”

[exsqueezememacaroni]

I’m so jealous, the band didn’t stick around to meet fans on the first date in Baltimore but it seems like they’ve gone out at every single other show 😭 I’m so sad I didn’t get to meet him, there was only a couple of us waiting there but they went right to their hotel apparently!

omg, don't feel too bad - i'll give you the quick (edit: lol) rundown of my experience: NYC: I didn't know where the backstage entrance/exit was until after the show, and I was too anxious about it all/too excited to talk to some folks I met at Zorn@70 to scope out trying to meet them coming in...after the concert, Scott and Trey came over to say hi, Dave, Mike and Trevor went straight to the car.

Montclair: it fuckn rained most of the afternoon...I get the feeling they went in for soundcheck early and then never went out again before the show. I had a long, chill, lunch/dinner. I think bc the venue was smallish, and maybe security wasn't like....super serious with their briefing, AND the boys had the day off the next day, AND there was a jazz festival the same day so they had to like, walk of shame/fame over to the parking lot where the vehicles were...Mike felt comfortable enough to say hi to folks on the walk...at the place I was waiting there was literally just me and one other guy (the obvious fan) with his gf. There were also maybe a couple of people waiting on the parking lot end? But I bet not a crowd at all. (That night I was just like....laser focused on getting the belt to Mike....I think everybody in the band did some fan-greets)

Boston: I kid you not, it was just pure dumb-fuck luck that we ran into them coming into soundcheck. All I was actually doing was showing off where the tour bus was parked (that I saw on the way to the venue) and taking a walk around the block....and there they were! Security stopped us, but again, I dunno, maybe because they had the day off before, maybe because Mike was loopy as apparently he hadn't eaten all day, maybe he knew he was getting his Pig and Hip friends in a sec so he was in a good mood, but he said yes when I asked if we could come say 'hi', and security let us through. After the show, I definitely did not want to bother them again, but I was super curious what the band would do, so I hung out after the show, but back a ways - everybody except Trevor got into the car and booked it pretty soon after the show (they had to drive to Montreal). Trevor for some reason came out much later and straight up chatted with whoever was left, and no one seemed to take any selfies, so I kind of wonder if they knew him or were connected to him in some way??

So like, out of three shows, only at one of them did the band as a whole (and mike at all) come out and say hi to fans. And to be honest, if circumstances had been slightly different, it could have been 0/3. It feels a little shitty of me to have this perspective, since I did get to talk to him twice (also to be super honest, he definitely did not recognize me the second time, why would he?), but I dunno...if things were different, and I didn't get to meet him at all, I would like to think that would be ok...these old fucks have to live that tour life (asshole-tight schedules, sleeping on coffin-sized bunk beds on the bus), they really don't have to come over after the show. I will say, I was NOT lucky enough to get a whiff of that bastard, so like, can't have everything!!!

[slavghoul]

Interview from Laut 5/2022. Some very interesting insights from Tobias here on future tours, songwriting and... Imagine Dragons.

---

Tobias Forge is not really happy after taking a look at today's advance sales figures. When I meet the Ghost boss in the backstage room of the Lanxess Arena in Cologne, the conversation first revolves around the supposed German overcautiousness when buying concert tickets. And indeed: in the evening, many seats remain empty. But when it comes to the stage show, Ghost give their all again tonight despite weak sales.

First of all, how is Papa Nihil? With the daily reanimations on stage, you're putting him through quite a lot.

That's probably true. But in some moments he's fine. This coming back from the afterlife, reanimation and all that, that's certainly hard - but that’s not my problem.

How does the transport look? Does he have private pallbearers or is he occasionally reanimated during the day to polish his saxophone?

No, no, we have people who take care of his saxophone, he stays nicely in the coffin. Anything else would be torture. Think of rigor mortis. We only resuscitate him if we need him.

Then give him my regards and of course congratulations on "Impera". Tell me honestly: Does a band's new album always has to be their best?

Ah, wow, hahaha! It should at least be your intention to make the best album you can. Nobody goes into the studio to make an okay album - even if the result might be just that in the end.

But that also flows into all the promo talk: even bands that haven't been relevant for 30 years regularly tell you that this new record is really the best of their career. Of course, self-reflection is not always easy.

We haven't got that far yet, so I'm a bit more pragmatic about it. When I look back, of course I think to myself, on this one we did this and that wrong, and on this one that was really great. Of course, when you have 15 albums, you can't easily list the concrete qualities of each one on one hand.

I think Metallica did it well, I saw an interview once where they said, "'Ride The Lightning' is our best album. Full stop." Pretty matter-of-factly, I mean, they could have easily said, "The Black Album is the best," simply because it did their career the best.

When I start a new album, I look closely at what I didn't like on the previous one. It's always a reaction to the previous album. Now that's not just to say, "Oh, the last album wasn't heavy enough, so I'll make this one heavier." Practical things too. I want the record to sound smooth, I want the hi-hat to be mastered properly and I like it in the mix.

Talking about hindsight: Over the years, Ghost have played almost all the songs from all the studio albums live. But only four songs from "Impera" can be heard tonight. What about the rest, will they be played on later tours?

It will come later, definitely. There's a pretty simple reason why the setlist is the way it is: band and crew are scattered all over the world. That's different from five dudes living in one city and rehearsing every Monday. We had to pick up a bit where we left off with our US tour - even if it's at the expense of other songs. "Watcher In The Sky", for example, we're really looking forward to that. "Twenties", at least some people want to hear that one, haha! Maybe also "Respite On The Spitalfields". A few of them we call "gag songs" because we have some special things planned for them - but we can't do them yet.

Interesting, because I have the feeling that many bands already sort out obvious surplus material for the release tour, which is then never played live. Is there no song that you can't listen to any more or that you think in retrospect is too weak or not successful? Or could every single song reappear in the setlist one day?

I would say about 95 per cent, yes. The rest are songs that just wouldn't work well live.

For example? "Deus In Absentia"?

"Deus" is definitely an odd song, but that also depends on where you place it in the set. That start-stop thing is very special, but it could work again. One song that didn't work at all live, although we really tried, is "Depth Of Satan's Eyes". I don't know why, I always liked it. I think it's the speed, maybe it's just too slow.

It just doesn't have that awesome swing like "Zombie Queen" from the same album.

Yeah, exactly! (laughs) So there are definitely some songs with asterisks behind them, but that doesn't mean we'll never play them again. We have to entertain quite a lot of people, so the stage show has to be fluid.

Is that also the reason why your closer "Monstrance Clock" got kicked out? Did you play it too often?

We played it a hell of a lot. But we're also thinking about an alternative tour, where we can play the stuff we're not playing at the moment. At the moment we end with "Square Hammer", which is such a banger that it leaves no room for more. Then in an alternative setting we will play "Monstrance Clock" again - those are just two completely different endings.

What interests me honestly is the role of the external songwriters in Ghost. On "Impera" there are more songwriting credits than ever for Salem Al Fakir and Vincent Pontare, known among others as songwriters by and for Avicii. How does it all work: you have a song idea and they put the finishing touches on the harmonies?

Most of the time I come up with one or two songs and say: "Look, I have song A here and I have song B here. Tell me, which one is the more interesting?" And then I just wait for the reactions. As soon as I present something to someone else, it's the reactions that encourage me to keep working. Just like with you as an author, where an editor looks over it again and says, "Look, I know what you want to say here, but can't you bring it to the point even better?". Otherwise I'll lose interest as a reader. Why don't you try to emphasise this other part a bit more, it's more exciting."

It totally helps me to exchange ideas with very good songwriters in order to grow myself. It also helps me to realise where I can trust my intuition and where not. Sometimes I try to bring in new things to specifically differentiate myself from my intuition - but then I get to hear: "No, no, you should do it your way, it just works better here."

But it's not like your partners write specific melodies or parts of the songs?

Of course you pass the ball to each other, of course there is input, especially when it comes to arrangements. My vocal lines are usually very intuitive. But when you sit down and think about how to add a third voice, then you get to the point where music becomes almost mathematical. It mustn't sound funny or sad, even if it might be harmonically correct. A lot of stuff like that.

Without influencing the sound too much?

As a pop musician, when you work with outside songwriters, they usually take more of a producer role. They build the sound. It was never like that with Ghost. In the demo phase, I play all the guitars, bass, keyboards and sing. But Salem [Al Fakir] in particular is an incredibly talented keyboard player who I can always rely on when I need a good piano part. But the instrumentation is always the same: two guitars, bass, drums, piano, organ, maybe Mellotron.

In my opinion, there are many negative examples from rock when it comes to the later involvement of external songwriters - Ghost is an absolute positive example for me, especially as far as the catchy tune factor is concerned.

What would be a negative example?

The last Linkin Park album ("One More Light"). They did a very good job of unfolding and trying things out for six albums and then just got off track with external people. I don't mean that in a "they have to be heavy and have fat guitars" way, because they had also made interesting electronic pop music before. But the result was just not homogeneous.

I don't have the album in my head right now, but I think that's the typical mistake. I never ask anyone to write me a song. That just doesn't work. But I think other people think, "Oh, I'll just get Greg Kurstin [Sia, Adele, Twenty One Pilots] to do it, he'll give us a sound".

And you manage to make sure that the end result is still Ghost through and through, though?

Yes, I hope so. I'll give you an example: there are bands that become overnight sensations. Let's take Imagine Dragons. Labels, media - suddenly the whole business wakes up. You ask yourself: What did they do right? And then over the years these conversations come up: "You, maybe you should have producer XYZ mix your album." - "Um, why?" - "He did Imagine Dragons, too." Yeah, wow, he mixed Imagine Dragons. Nothing else. I don't mean to speak ill of them at all, don't get me wrong. But the basis of your recipe is in the ingredients. If you come up with rotten potatoes, you can't save them by the way you prepare them. No mixer can save your song.

One reason why Imagine Dragons work so well is this. (Tobias stomps and claps the "We Will Rock You" rhythm.) Queen, if you will, but also ... [He sings "Halo" by Beyoncé and "Apologize" by OneRepublic.] Both were written by the same guy [Ryan Tedder]. His thing was always that drum foundation. And it's the same with "Radioactive, Radioactive" [sings]. That's the whole thing.

If you want to sound like Imagine Dragons, you have to write your songs that way. You don't need someone to put a tambourine in at one point, you have to write it directly like that. So when people like Greg Kurstin or Ryan Tedder come up and show that they can write for Sia on the one hand, but also work with the Foo Fighters, then you have to pay attention to what exactly you want from them. Because if you're not careful, they'll write you songs that sound exactly like that.

But to give a positive example, too: Aerosmith. They wrote first-class songs in the seventies and had another great career later on with songs written by others. And that worked really well. It's never black and white. I think we are also in a grey area, somewhere in the middle. Write your songs with others, sure, but be in the middle of it. Don't go and say, "Write me a Ghost song."

[watchmegetobsessed]

Drum it out - Harry Styles

a/n: hiya lovelies! im bringin an OC fic this time only because i had a strong vision about the girl and thought it would be best to have her as one instead of Y/N this time, but hope you’ll enjoy it regardless! Remi Devon is a baddie, i like her!

pairing: Harry x OC

summary: Harry is forced to find a new drummer since Sarah is about to become a mom, but no one seems to be good enough to replace her. It is until he meets Remi Devon, the woman who completely takes his breath away from the moment he sees her on stage.

word count: 7k

warning: NSFW content, some slight spanking

masterlist

“Don’t worry, you’ll love her just as much as I do!” Sarah smiles at Harry, giving his arm a gentle squeeze as they make their way into the small but cozy looking bar. Harry is skeptical, mostly because for him, no one compares to Sarah and if it wasn’t for her pregnancy, he would do anything to make her stay in the band. But he is so happy his two friends are starting a family together, it’s only that Harry is now forced to look for a new drummer as it’s getting harder for Sarah to keep up with the hectic lifestyle they’ve been living. Her bump is now pretty obvious and it’s only a matter of time until she can’t sit behind her instrument.

They’ve been trying to find someone to replace her during the second half of her pregnancy and at least the first year after she gives birth, but no one seemed good enough. Truth is, and Harry knew it damn well, that his problem was always the same: they weren’t Sarah.

Now she has dragged him to check someone out, a girl Sarah knows from years ago and who was told to be a mind-blowing drummer, though Harry has doubts about that.

“Sure will,” he hums, not too convinced about it.

The bar was previously a small theater, the seats have been taken out on the ground floor, replaced with tables and stools around the sides and a dance floor in the middle. The gallery is used as a kind of VIP area, this is where the two of them are right now, sitting at a small table in the front corner so they have an amazing sight of the stage where a local band is about to start very soon. Sarah said Remi, the drummer in the talk, is just a jump-in for the night for a friend, but it was a great opportunity for Harry to check her out.

“You know, she beat me at an audition a while ago. This super cool rock band was looking for a drummer for their mini-tour in Canada, because their drummer broke his leg and we both tried for it. There were still some people waiting to audition when she went in and she blew their mind so much, they just ended the audition right there,” Sarah tells him, the story still holds a dear place in her heart. She and Remi used to be close friends, but got a little distant as life took them to different paths. Now they are meeting up every few months when they are in the same city, catching up on everything since they last saw each other, sharing their equally exciting stories.

“Really?” Harry asks with genuine surprise as he takes his beer from the table and glances down at the stage. Everything is set up already and his eyes move to the shiny looking drum set at the back. It’s hard to imagine himself finding someone as good as Sarah, for Harry she has been the etalon ever since they met. But now he is forced to find someone even though he doesn’t want to, not even a bit.

“Yeah. She is the kind of girl that just turns heads wherever she goes without even trying.”

“You think I would get along with her well?” he asks, turning to face her just in time to see the wide smirk on her lips as she nods.

“I think you two would make an epic duo, H.”

“Alright, now I’m interested,” he smiles softly.

“She said they will play a lot of covers.”

“What kind?”

“You’ll see,” she smirks, sipping on her lemonade, a hand going to slide down on her stomach.

The dance floor is not packed, but there are a lot of people, seemingly most of them are here specifically for this band called Striped Shoes, Harry hasn’t heard about them until now but he is always happy to discover new music.

Soon, the lights go down, darkness falling to the theater, the only light is coming from the bars at the back. Then a spotlight turns on and a guy is standing in the middle of it, cheers erupting from the people as he starts playing the guitar and Harry immediately recognizes the song: Smells like teen spirit by Nirvana. Just a few riffs later all the other spotlights come on, each of them illuminating a member of the band and Harry’s eyes flick to the drum set where the only female on the stage is sitting, he catches her the moment she starts playing, the vibrant energy lingering around her almost knocks him off the stool even from this far away. Her hair barely reaches her shoulders, it falls to frame her heart shaped face in soft waves, the roots are a darker color than the rest that’s an odd shade of mahogany, but it suits her perfectly, Harry thinks. She has a few tattoos littered across her arms but not a full sleeve on any of them. They are on full display in the shirt that’s sleeves were seemingly ripped off, the fabric is raw on her shoulders. It seems to be some kind of old band shirt but Harry doesn’t recognize the logo on the front. Her legs are wrapped in ripped jeans and Harry is immediately mesmerized by how steadily she keeps the rhythm while absolutely nailing the song.

She makes it look so easy yet fascinating, her head snaps back a few times, a satisfied grin stretching across her lips as she enjoys the music, clearly a fan on it. She doesn’t miss a beat and flows into the next song that’s an original from the band as if the two songs were the same while she had to switch up the rhythm entirely through the transition.

Harry feels starstruck, watching this woman take the whole show, in his opinion, while simply sitting behind the drum set, playing like no one he has ever seen. She puts all of herself into it and that’s why she manages to outshine everyone else. Harry knows how hard it is for a drummer to get the same kind of attention as other members, but Remi makes it seem like it’s the natural, like drummers are the front people without a doubt.

When the cover version of Rock and Roll by Led Zeppelin comes on, in a way more hard rock version, Harry almost fears the stage is about to catch on fire. The song already has amazing drums in it, but the band gave it even more attention, giving a chance for Remi to show how amazing she really is.

“So? What do you think?” Sarah shouts over the music and Harry suddenly realizes he is not alone. He managed to zone out on the drummer without even noticing.

“She is… amazing,” he admits truthfully, in complete awe of what he is witnessing. This is music. This is passion. This is exactly what Harry always looks for in musicians and Remi has a whole lot of it.

They push the short drum solo a little longer at the end and Harry watches as Remi finishes the song standing, playing so hard that with the last hit, one of her sticks simply snaps into two, flying across the stage as she is breathing hard, skin glimmering from the sweat, her hair a complete mess from all the head shaking she’s been doing, but Harry thinks that it’s the hottest thing he has ever seen in his life.

Sarah knows she finally found her replacement, judging from Harry’s look she knows he is a sucker for Remi so she just lets him enjoy the rest of the concert.

When they play their last song and they all gather at the front of the stage to bow in front of the audience, Harry finds himself standing as he is applauding the band, but especially Remi who doesn’t even know Harry Styles is now a fan of hers.

“Let’s talk to her, shall we?” Sarah suggests once they disappear from the stage. Harry nods, finishing up his beer before the two of them head backstage.

Sarah has been put on the list since she previously let Remi know she would be coming. She was ecstatic to see her old friend, however was not told that Sarah would be coming with someone else so when Remi spots the two of them walking down the small hallway at the backstage, she is surprised but not shocked. She knows Sarah has been working with him for a long time now, but she wasn’t expecting him to be here tonight.

“Hey! There you are, mama!” Remi jokes with a heartfelt chuckle as she hugs her old friend. “Already looking like a milf!” she teases, earning an eye-roll from Sarah.

“Rems, I want you to meet Harry. Harry, this is Remi Devon.”

Remi’s eyes meet Harry’s piercing green ones and for a moment, Harry feels his stomach drop. She is even more breathtaking up close, in her simple but very fitting outfit, hair pushed back from her face carelessly she is easily the first woman ever to make Harry nervous to the point where he is having a hard time to even talk.

Remi holds out a hand for him smiling warmly and he luckily takes control over his actions and shakes it before it could get awkward.

“Nice to meet you, Harry. Heard a lot about you,” she chuckles softly.

“Hope you believed only the best,” he nods with a shy smile.

“Oh, of course,” she winks and Harry swears he felt his heart skipping a beat.

“We actually have something to talk to you about, Rems. Do you have some time for us?” Sarah asks.

“Yeah, just let me wash my face and I’ll be right back. There’s a small green room on the left, feel free to wait there,” she nods and disappears a moment later.

Sarah and Harry move into the room as Remi told them to and just a few minutes later she storms inside, a new shirt hugging her torso, a simple black one, but it’s tight unlike the one she wore for the concert. She sits into the armchair while Sarah and Harry have taken the small sofa.

“Alright, I’m all yours,” she smiles at them crossing her legs. Harry knows he should be the one to bid the offer, but it seems like he is not finding his words just yet. But Sarah is quick to talk when she realizes Harry is at a loss of words.

“I brought Harry today because I wanted him to see you play. We are currently looking for someone to take my place shortly,” she explains, placing a hand to her bump. “I know you’ve been freelancing lately so I thought you’d be interested in working with the band and of course Harry.”

“Oh!” She seems genuinely surprised at the offer. “So this was kind of my audition in secret?” she chuckles.

“You could say that,” Sarah smiles.

“And how did I do?” she asks, eyes meeting Harry’s gaze that hasn’t left her face since she arrived.

“You… definitely passed. The best I’ve seen so far,” he tells her and the smile on her face is worth everything for him. 

“So what does this mean exactly?” This time Harry answers, finally finding his voice.

“If you are not too busy in the upcoming time, I would love to have you as my drummer,” he states, handing her the offer on a silver plate, basically.

It’s an offer most musicians dream of, so Harry thinks she’ll accept it right away, but of course, Remi is not like others. 

“I’ll be needing some more details before I give you my answer though,” she smiles.

And that, she gets. A few days after the concert Remi meets up with the rest of the band and Jeff to talk about all the details. She clearly wants to know what she is jumping into and Harry respects that. At the end she accepts the offer and as Harry watches her sign the paperworks, a huge wave of satisfaction and excitement washes over him. 

***

The public imagines Harry as the picture perfect human being who is always at his best, never making any mistakes, but that’s far from the real truth. He is as flawed as anyone else, it’s just that not many get the chance to see him in this state.

His bandmates are among the few privileged ones that are bound to see all his ups and downs as well and since Remi is part of them now too, she has witnessed his bad days since they have started working together.

Harry’s growl is heard in the microphone when he is supposed to be singing and the music soon comes to a halt. It’s probably the tenth time he is messing up the exact same part because his head is just not at the right place. He knows he should be at the top of his game, not wasting his colleagues’ precious time, but he just can’t bring himself away from the heavy thoughts that’s been occupying his mind lately. There are days when he is as free as a bird, not a worry in the world, but sometimes everything comes down at once and he feels like crumbling under the weight of his own career.

“Sorry guys,” he apologizes into the microphone, a heavy sigh escaping his lips as he closes his eyes for a few seconds to collect himself. The silence in the auditorium where they are currently rehearsing for tour is harsh, everyone is tired and they can feel the nerves creeping up on them about the upcoming tour and making sure that everything is perfectly in place for the first show.

Remi looks around from behind her drum set, holding her sticks in one hand and she doesn’t like what she is seeing. A group that’s always so happy and carefree is now just a big ball of stress, this is not right. 

“Guys, why don’t you all wrap it up for today, I’ll stay here with Harry and help him get it right,” she offers.

“How do you want to practice without everyone else?” Mitch asks, not at all in an offending way, more like out of curiosity.

“I’ll find a way,” she smiles softly and he doesn’t push it further. 

As the rest of the band is packing up, leaving slowly, saying their goodbyes Harry is sitting on the floor next to one of the speakers, head hanging low, deep in his thoughts. Adam is the last one to leave the place and once it’s just the two of them, she stands up from behind her set and walks over to the desperate man.

“Get up,” she orders, not in a bossy manner, more of a ‘do what I asked, I’m trying to help’ way so Harry obeys. Standing up he towers above her, almost a full head taller than Remi, but still, sometimes she can make him feel so small.

Harry has noticed that her energy is making her push the air out of his lungs sometimes, just the way she stands, looks, moves around a room, it’s making her appear like the ruler of everyone around her. He has often found himself just staring at her from afar since she has joined the band and even though she has caught him ogling her a few times, he just still can’t bring himself to stop admiring her. He definitely has a fat crush on the new addition to the team, however now his feelings are pushed aside, their place taken by his anxiety and worries.

She takes his hands and pulls him to the middle of the stage, putting the microphone stand to the side so they have some space cleared out around them. She then turns to face him, a warm smile tugging on her lips while he is rather curious about what she has on her mind.

“Scream,” she simply tells him, his eyebrows immediately knitting together in confusion.

“Wha’?” 

“Scream,” she repeats, but he is still lost about the situation. She chuckles a little before taking a few steps away from him, twirling around her heels before stopping facing the area where the audience is supposed to be during a concert. “Whenever I feel like I’m locked, like everything around me is so suffocating that I can’t even function normally, I take a minute and just let it all out,” she explains before taking a deep breath and hunching over, the most eardrum-breaking scream bursts out of her, making Harry jump a little.

She holds it long, until her throat is cracking up and she runs out of her breath, then the scream dies and she takes a deep breath, filling up her lungs again. Harry stands there, completely stunned, thinking that if anyone heard her now, they are surely convinced she is being tortured here. 

When she turns back to face him again, she is smiling as if nothing just happened, like it’s the most natural thing to randomly scream from the top of her lungs on a casual Wednesday night.

“Now it’s your turn,” she tells him, but Harry doesn’t feel like it’s gonna be his thing at all. But he still turns to the side, clears his throat and lets out a not too forceful shout that’s quite saddening compared to her scream. “Oh, come on, I’m sure you can do better, Styles,” she chuckles, hands on her hips as she tilts her head to the side.

“Is this really necessary?” he questions, eyebrows still furrowed at her.

“Very much. Now come on, do it!”

“Remi, I--”

He doesn’t have the chance to finish, because she screams at him, knocking the air out of him once again, making him flinch at her sudden action.

“Scream!” she then snaps at him.

“I don--”

“Scream!” she repeats forcefully and Harry gives up. Taking a deep breath he lets his voice out in a hoarse scream that’s way more vibrant than his last attempt. “Yes! Again!” she grins nodding and he does it again.

And then again and again, until he feels like his chest is completely empty, like nothing is keeping a tight grip on his insides anymore. He is panting, mind racing as he realizes how much better he is feeling now, meaning that Remi’s technique worked.

“How are you feeling?” she asks, smirking, her arms folded on her chest.

“Fucking awesome,” he chuckles out of breath, running his hands through his messy hair. 

“Great. You think you can handle going through the song now without messing up?”

“I… think?”

“Alright, grab your guitar and I’ll give you the beat.”

She moves back behind her set as Harry grabs a guitar, throwing the strap over his head, turning to face Remi behind him as he places the microphone stand in front of him.

“I’ll go softer on the beats, you just do your thing okay?” she tells him and he just nods, fingers already on his guitar.

Kiwi sounds a whole lot different with just the drums playing weakly and only one guitar playing, but it’s not what matters. Harry finally manages to go through the song without messing anything up.

When the song ends and the music is replaced by silence, Harry can’t help the grin stretching across his face.

“I fucking needed that,” he sighs, his head falling back for a moment as the last bits of euphoria settles in his body.

“Want to go over something else?” she asks, turning back and forth to the sides on her stool, playing with the sticks, twirling them between her fingers easily.

“You sure don’t want to go home like the others?”

“Let’s see what choices I have. I can go home and watch an entire season of Love Island on my own, eating leftovers from two days ago or I can stay here, play music with a hot dude. I think I’m fine with the second option.”

Harry’s eyebrows shoot up at how simply she just called him a hot dude, his heart fluttering in his chest again like the first time he saw her play, only difference is that now her eyes are piercing on him and it’s just the two of them in an empty room. He is already having thoughts that should probably be pushed down.

“Did you just call your boss hot?” he teases her then.

“I don’t think you’re my boss,” she scoffs. “You need me here more than I need to be here, so I think I’m the one having the higher ground,” she points out and Harry knows she is so damn right. “Besides, I know you find me hot as well.”

He is quick to blush at her words, but that doesn’t stop him from questioning her.

“What makes you think that?”

“I see you staring, Harry. I’m not oblivious or naive. I know you like checking my butt out every time I’m fixing my set leaning down,” she chuckles and now he is certain his ears are a deep shade of red, he was caught more often than he thought, it seems like. “Also…” she smirks slyly. “If you think you hid your hard-on cleverly the other day when I played my solo, you are wrong.”

“For fuck’s sake,” Harry mumbles, cursing himself for being such a horny teenager around her, but he can’t help it. The woman is the epitome of everything Harry finds so fucking attractive, it’s like she was made for his imagination specifically. “This, um, this is a little awkward, but I’m sorry--” “Oh, don’t be,” she chuckles. “I’m just lucky I’m a woman and my arousal can’t be seen that easily,” she comments and Harry almost chokes on his own breath.

Did she just admit she has been turned on by him before? When? What did she think about? What was it that made her turned on? Harry needs answers, however he is not given the chance to get them.

“Alright, you can choose two more songs we’ll go over and then we are off,” she simply says, as if they weren’t just talking about being horny a moment ago.

“Uh, maybe Only Angel and, um, Lights Up?” he prompts, trying his best to regain his composure. 

“Cool. Let’s do them.” And with that, she switched back to work mode without batting an eye.

***

It feels like the crowd will never stop screaming. It just keeps going and going, people are probably losing their voice, but the screaming just continues as Harry stands at the front of the stage, his adrenaline jumping to the sky, eyes roaming around the full arena. He throws a few more kisses, placing his hands to his chest one last time before turning around and heading off the stage, his eyes meeting Remi.

She is not wearing her usual clothes, instead, she is now sporting a pair of high-waisted dress pants in a lavender color, a white top tucked into it, her matching blazer thrown to the floor, she probably got hot the moment she started playing. Her tattoos are on full display and she looks just as sweaty as Harry feels. But still, for him she is a sight he would love to look at for the rest of his life.

Their eyes meet and she smirks at him, eyes glimmering from the high she experienced through the concert, it’s a feeling they all share every time they perform together and it’s clearly like a drug neither of them wants to come clear of.

“Good job, Rockstar,” he reads her lips saying and he laughs, winking at her.

Ever since their one-on-one rehearsal, things have felt to change between them. It’s like a barricade that’s been lying between them has come down and they are feeling much more free around each other. Secret glances, touches and flirty comments are their usual and they don’t care that the people around them are starting to catch on it as well. They love the game they are playing and neither of them plans on stopping it.

Harry stops at her drum set, holding out a hand to help her up and walk her off the stage, knowing well she doesn’t feel the most comfortable in her stage clothes and feels a little too restricted by the end of the concerts, but she understands that her style does not go well with the look they are going for. 

She snatches her blazer from the floor and gladly takes Harry’s helping hand as he walks her off the stage, her Gucci boots feeling a little too tight at the moment.

“One of these days I’m gonna rip these pants off,” she jokes, pulling on the tight waistband of them.

“Just make sure I’m around when it happens, Darling,” Harry teases, making her laugh as they walk backstage, everyone congratulating them and the band following behind on their way.

“Oh, you’d love that, wouldn’t you?”

“Very much,” he admits without shame, the blushing long gone from his cheeks and ears. The buildup has changed his nervousness around her lately and he is enjoying the teasing and flirting all too much. 

The whole team agrees that tonight’s show was exceptionally good and that it deserves some celebratory drinks. A few blocks away from the hotel where everyone is staying there’s a cozy looking bar and the rather loud lot occupies half the place as they flow in and start ordering their endless rounds of drinks. 

Harry is sitting at one of the tables they have taken up, going strong with his third beer of the night, half zoned out of the conversation with the small group he is sitting in. His eyes are fixated on Remi’s figure who is standing at the bar with Charlotte, unlike every other female around she is not sipping on some kind of fancy drink or a cocktail, she went straight for the crafted beers the place had to offer. She has changed her stage clothes, wearing her usual tight black jeans and a sheer top with a simple black sports bra underneath it. Harry can’t stop his eyes from raking down her body, taking in every curve, tattoo and tiny detail about her and he thinks that there is not one thing on her he doesn’t find attractive. 

Her eyes find him, a playful smirk playing on her lips Harry has been thinking way too much about lately, and she cocks an eyebrow at him in a way that yells at him: Like what you see, Rockstar?

As an answer, he just simply shrugs with a growing smirk until she turns back to Charlotte, who is still talking to her, she hasn’t even noticed that Remi was focusing somewhere else for a moment. Remi laughs at something her bandmate said and Harry wishes he could be closer to hear her voice, he has grown quite a liking to her laughter, he has been trying to crack as many jokes lately as he can just to hear it.

He takes his eyes off her just for a second when someone at the table asks him something. He mumbles his reply and reaches for his beer as his gaze shifts back to her figure, only to find that Charlotte is not gone and a not so friendly looking guy is behind her, clearly trying to chat her up.

The dude is standing way too close to her for Harry’s liking, leaning in to talk to her, but she keeps backing away, however he does not care about that. She is clearly not enjoying the exchange and when the guy reaches up to her face Harry is quick to jump to his feet, ready to go to her rescue. But it’s not needed.

Just as he takes one step towards the scene near him, he witnesses as Remi grabs the bloke’s hand before he could touch her face and with a strong and quick move, she twists his arm behind him, keeping the guy on his toes as he is trying to escape her deadly grip on his wrist, his hand pushing into the middle of his back.

Harry’s mouth hangs open as he watches Remi tell something to the guy in a not too friendly manner before letting him go and the man flees before Harry could blink twice.

“That was impressive,” Harry tells her, walking up to her at the bar. Remi just shrugs, gulping down the rest of her beer. 

“I know some tricks.”

“How come?”

“Grew up with three older brothers, had to learn how to defend myself when they decided to attack me out of nowhere.”

“Three brothers? That must ‘ave been wild,” he huffs impressed.

“I surely didn’t have a girly childhood, I’ve always been kind of a tomboy,” she shrugs again. As a teenager, she often wished she would be like the girls in her class, but later on she realized how big of an advantage it is that she speaks the boys’ language so easily.

“I think it just made you… badass,” Harry smirks, leaning against the bar counter.

“Is that what I am?”she arches an eyebrow cockily. 

“Definitely. A handful, but the good kind.”

“Oh, just be careful, Rockstar. I might think you are trying to get into my pants,” she chuckles and as Harry hears her laugh he can’t stop himself from taking it further. She is too intoxicating.

“And what if I am?”

Remi doesn’t seem surprised at his comment, not even a bit. She is clearly enjoying the flirting once again, but when she answers, he surely is the one who is surprised.

“Then I gotta say you are working way too slow. I’m losing my patience.”

His eyebrows rise, lips parted as he stares back at her, the words that left her lips pushing the air out of his lungs once again, he is done for her. Utterly and completely. He wants to say and do a million things, but then settles on just one simple question.

“Want to get back to the hotel then?”

“Thought you’d never ask,” she smirks and simply heads towards the door without another word spoken. Harry is quick to grab his stuff from the table and catch up with her at the exit. 

The crispy night air feels a little sobering as they both step out of the bar, heading to the nearby hotel with rushed steps, keeping their silence but they both are grinning madly. When their eyes meet they can’t push down the laughter and Harry grabs her hand before he starts running, pulling her after himself.

By the time they reach the hotel they are both out of breath, adrenaline running high once again as what’s been building up between them since the first time they saw each other is finally about to bloom fully.

Remi pushes the button for the elevator and as it moves down painfully slowly Harry’s hands find her hips, pulling her back against his chest. His lips tease the soft skin on her neck, peppering kisses everywhere he reaches while his fingers dig into her skin under her sheer top. She leans against him, head falling back to his shoulder and she pushes her bum against his crotch, a whiny moan escaping his lips that makes her smile in satisfaction. 

“Fuck, Remi,” he breathes out, eager to finally have her all to himself and make all his fantasies come to life. The elevator finally dings and as the door slides open Remi turns in his arms abruptly and grabbing onto the collar of his shirt she simply pulls him inside, hand snapping on the button of his floor and just as the door slowly slides closed and they start moving up, her lips finally crash against his.

They are kissing hard, eager to take as much from each other as they can, they are both greedy, wanting the other all to themselves, the heat of the moment lighting up the small elevator. His fingers rake through her hair, grabbing a handful of it in each of them while one of her hands slide down his upper body until it stops on the obviously growing bulge in his pants. Harry moans shamelessly when she gives his erection a teasing squeeze and she smirks against his lips, satisfied with how easily he reacts to her touches. 

Harry melts into her, wanting to devour every bit of this moment with her, he is seeing stars when she takes his lower lip between her teeth and tugs on it. A hand flies down to her ass and he squeezes it hard without shying about how much he is enjoying touching her.

The elevator reaches their floor and once again he grabs her wrist and starts pulling her down the hallway towards his room. Her lips are glued to his neck when he is trying to get his keycard from his back pocket and open the door, but when he finally succeeds, they basically fall into the room, tangled into each other and the door snaps closed behind them. 

He is quick to push her against the door, lips attacking her neck, nipping and sucking on her skin until he is sure a mark is left on her. 

“Off with it,” she pants, her hands tugging on his shirt and they work with all four of their hands to unbutton his shirt until it flies across the room. Remi pushes on him, hands spread across his hot chest as they get farther inside the room. The bump into some furniture on their way, lips glued together again until they finally reach the bed and fall right onto the perfectly made sheets. They are both showing dominance so it’s a constant fight for the lead between them, rolling around until at last Remi ends up on top, strangling his lap. She straightens up and grabs the hem of her shirt, getting rid of it fast before she does the same with her sports bra, baring her upper body completely to Harry’s greedy eyes.

“Fuck,” he breathes out, pushing himself up until he wraps his arms around her, mouth meeting her chest, littering her heated skin with sloppy kisses until his lips reach one of her nipples.

“Yes!” she moans as he starts playing with it, his hands coming to cup her breasts, massaging them continuously before his mouth moves over to her other nipple, giving it the same attention. 

Harry uses her momentary weakness and turns them over, his crotch coming in contact with her center as he pushes his hips between her legs forcefully. He kisses down her stomach before he leans back and works fast on the buttons of her jeans. The tight material hugs her legs stubbornly, but he is eager to get rid of them and he soon succeeds, leaving her in just a lacy black thong. He undoes his own pants in a heartbeat, pulling them off and throwing them to the side before he gets on top of her again, kissing her lips so hungrily as if it hasn’t been just a few moments since he kissed her last. 

She whimpers under his touch when he moves a hand between her thighs, running his fingers along her clothed folds, her arousal already soaking the fabric. He doesn’t hesitate to slip his hand into her underwear, her juices wetting his wandering fingers and he teases her hole and clit playfully.

“You better not fucking tease me, I don’t like that,” she pants, her dark eyes meeting hers and he can see the threat behind her words, she is not joking.

“Then what do you like?” he breathes out, eager to please her so much, she’ll forget about everyone else she has ever slept with.

She doesn’t answer, instead, a devious smile tugs on her swollen lips as she pushes him off until she is able to move. Harry is now kneeling on the bed and watches as Remi pushes her ass up into the air, back arching perfectly, her thong looking so delicious on her round butt and when she pushes herself back so her behind meets her throbbing dick in his briefs he could cry from the sensation. His hands immediately grab onto her asscheeks, pulling her even harder against himself.

“Smack it,” she breathes out, glancing over her shoulder.

“Yeah?”

“Do it,” she nods and Harry doesn’t need more encouragement, he lifts a hand up and smacks her ass so it leaves a little redness after it. Remi moans erotically, enjoying herself fully and seeing how much it turns her on, he smacks the other cheek as well.

“You are gonna be the death of me,” he whines and pushing down his briefs his erection finally springs free, he grabs it with one hand, stroking himself a few times while his other hand is keeping a tight grip of her ass.

Remi wants to see him naked, so she quickly pushes herself up to her knees and turning around her eyes fall on Harry stroking himself. Hunger fills her eyes as she launches forward, lips meeting his while her hands simply take the place of his on his length, doing the job for him.

“I’m on birth control. When were you last tested?” she mumbles against his lips before leaning back so she can get rid of her thong and Harry does the same with his underwear.

“Three weeks ago, haven’t been with anyone since and I’m clean,” he mumbles in a rush.

“I’m clean too. You can ditch the condom if you want to.” “I wanna feel you,” he pleads desperately as she lies back on the bed and he gets on top of her again.

“All yours,” she smirks, spreading her legs wide for him, the sight in front of him is easily beating any art he has ever seen, he thinks. 

He positions himself to her entrance, but doesn’t push into her just yet, leaning down so his lips brush against her ear as he whispers into it.

“Let’s see if you feel just as amazing as I imagined.” And with that, he pushes into her with one swift movement, stretching her all the way until his whole length disappears inside her.

“Fuck, Harry!” she cries out, back arching at the sensation. He sucks on her neck once again as he starts moving in and out, fitting inside her so perfectly, he is convinced she was crafted just for him. 

He is going fast and hard, their pants and moans completely filling the hotel room and they can only hope they can’t be heard by anyone right now. She circles her legs around his hips, the angle he is reaching making her toes curl behind his back.

“You feel so fucking good,” he chokes out, face contorting into a blissful frown as he is getting closer to his orgasm with each thrust.

“I want to be on top,” she gasps, already pushing on and this time Harry doesn’t hesitate to obey. He rolls to his back, pulling her with him so now she is on top. Her hands come to rest on his stomach as she starts riding her, circling and lifting her hips so perfectly, so breathtakingly that Harry could cum just from the sight of her bouncing on him, but the feeling is making it a mind blowing experience. His fingers dig into her hips as she is starting to move faster and faster, before Harry starts bucking his hips up to meet her rhythm as well, going so deep into her, he is having a hard time deciding where she ends and where he starts. They are completely merged together in one hot mess. 

“Fuck, I’m gonna cum!” she screams gasping, her head falling back as she doesn’t fall out of her rhythm, still being such a drummer even in the bed, dictating the beat. 

Harry pushes himself up into a sitting position, wrapping his arms around her so he can push her naked chest against his, their sweaty skins sliding against each other relentlessly, creating friction.

“Scream my name when you cum,” he orders, his lips finding hers once again, but it’s a messy kiss, their teeth are clanking, noses are bumping together as they are both nearing their high.

“Harry, oh fuck!” she exclaims and with her next movement he can feel her clench around him.

“Louder!” he growls on the edge of his own orgasm.

“Harry! Harry!” she screams shamelessly, throwing him over the edge, a guttural moan bursting from him as they both fall out of the rhythm, satisfaction washing over them in waves.

“Oh shit!” she breathes out, lips against his as she keeps him close with her hands on the base of his neck. 

“Fucking Hell, Remi. I think I almost had a heart attack,” he breathes out with a soft chuckle making her laugh as well. She pulls him into another kiss, but it’s way slower now, the hunger and greed taken by their pleasure, now it’s time for something softer.

When they fall back to the bed, arms and legs tangled as they are still trying to stay close to each other, Remi looks up at him with a tired smile.

“So, was it like you imagined?” she asks and he chuckles softly.

“A thousand times better. But now we have a problem on our hands.”

“And what would that be?”

“Now I’m hooked. I won’t be able to stop thinking about you, not that it hasn’t been the situation since the start.”

Remi chuckles shortly, pushing herself up enough so she can look comfortable at his flushed out face. 

“Well, it’s a good thing we are kind of locked together for months.”

“I’m one lucky man, aren’t I?” he smirks, so full of himself before he pulls her back down, kissing her like they have all the time in the world on their hands.

[hangovercurse]

Teeny Tiny Secret

After months of trying, you and Colson finally get those two pink lines… the day before tour starts.

Request: “I know that requests are closed, but I HAD to share this before it left my mind. When you have an opportunity, could you please write a story where y/n is in super early (not showing or anything) stages of pregnancy and on tour with mgk. She & Colson make a plan to keep it from the bandmates for now. It becomes difficult when he becomes super over protective (not letting her carry anything, not wanting the guys to crowd her), unconsciously put his hand on her stomach, and ordering non-alcoholic drinks for her. The band suspects something. Y/n talks with him to try to get him to calm down a little. It works until the guys ask you both about it directly and Colson's the first to crack.”

Colson Baker x Reader

Warnings: Cursing

A/N: Y’all are all up in that spring baby fever… this is like my 3rd or 4th baby request recently

Word Count: 2211

You and Colson had been talking about having a second kid for months but stopped trying a few weeks before tour started. You didn’t think it had worked until you woke up three days before tour and rushed to the bathroom, morning sickness wrecking your body. Colson felt you getting out of bed and followed a few minutes later, tiredly. When he found you hunched over the toilet, his whole demeaner changed.

You knew for sure the day before tour, after multiple pregnancy tests you had gone to see an OBGYN for confirmation. Sure enough, you were pregnant. The universe sure knew the definition of ironic timing.

Colson’s immediate reaction was to have you stay home. “All the traveling and partying isn’t gonna be good for him.” He said, pacing around your bedroom while you laid on the bed. “Tour life is not good for babies.”

You raised your eyebrow, “him? It’s been one day and you’re already setting unrealistic expectations for our unborn child.” You joked, a small smile on your lips.

Colson’s mouth gaped before he continued, “Y/N, we need to be serious about this. You can’t come on tour if you’re pregnant.”

You rolled your eyes, “Colson, I am not letting you leave me here while I am pregnant. I’ll be fine. I won’t drink and I’ll take it easy. You just have to make sure the guys don’t smoke around me and we’ll be fine.”

His eyes went wide. “Shit, the boys.” He paused to think as confusion crossed you. “If the boys find out about this they’ll freak out and then the whole tour is gonna be a shit show.”

It was kind of funny how much more worried he was than you were. “Babe, come here.” You motioned for him to come sit in the bed with you to which he complied. You leaned your back against the headboard, expecting him to follow. Instead, he laid so his head was next to your stomach. He pressed a small kiss into it, making your heart fluttered, the reality of the situation hitting you and making you insanely happy. “Why are you so worried?” You asked him softly, combing your hand through his hair.

He reached, moving your shirt up so he could kiss your bare stomach. He mumbled against your skin, “I think I wanna keep this a secret for now.” You hummed and he continued, “just for us, y’know? I wanna enjoy this.”

You nodded, “I’m still coming on tour with you, though. I don’t wanna be alone right now.”

He smiled against your stomach, finally moving up to sit next to you, pulling you towards him for a soft kiss. His hand went to your stomach, rubbing circles into the skin. “I can’t believe we’re gonna have a fucking baby.”

You smiled against his lips, a thought popping into your head, “can we tell Casie at least?” His eyes lit up at your suggestion, a quick nod of his head affirming the idea.

 The next day was hectic, as all first days were. You had gotten a list of everything you could and couldn’t do from your doctor, and the all-clear to fly for the first trimester. So, you and Colson found yourself with the crew at LAX airport bright and early in the morning. Ashleigh passed you an itinerary, letting you know that you would all be meeting the bus in Cleveland, where the first show was.

Colson’s arm hadn’t left your waist since you got to the airport, holding you to his side all morning. Occasionally you could feel his thumb rubbing circles near your stomach, something that was definitely becoming a habit of his. At one point he ended up standing behind you, hands resting on your stomach as he held you against him. You tried not to give anything away, but you found it adorable how excited he was. He wanted to be as close to the unborn baby as possible at all times, his hands constantly near your middle.

Eventually you arrived in Cleveland, walking down the long hallway to the baggage claim, taking in the small Cleveland hall of fame that the airport had created. You spotted your suitcase and went to grab it, but Colson beat you to it. “I got it, babe.” He gave you a look that let you know you wouldn’t be carrying anything.

You sighed, “I can get it Colson.” He shrugged, grabbing his bag off of the carousel next. The man now had a large duffel bag slung over his shoulder and two suitcases in his hands. “Seriously, it’s not that heavy.”

He shook his head, “I’m not letting you carry anything heavy. I can do it.” You sighed but let him, knowing you wouldn’t win this battle.

Unbeknownst to you, Baze had seen the whole interaction and was very confused.

 Later, once you had arrived at the arena, you were hanging in the dressing room with Slim and Irv on the couch. You guys weren’t really talking about anything in particular, mostly just cracking jokes about Rook’s outfit for the night.

When the younger boy heard Slim say he looked like “if Willow Smith and Gerard Way were put into a blender,” he came over, blunt in his hand.

Rook started jokingly arguing with Slim and you were all laughing at his distress. In the middle of their argument, however, Colson came over and grabbed the blunt out of Rook’s hand. He put it out in an ashtray before returning to you, squeezing himself between you and Irv.

Everyone, including you, stared at him, dumfounded. “Dude why the fuck-“ Rook started, only for Colson to cut him off.

“You shouldn’t smoke in here.” He shrugged, arms wrapping around you. He squeezed your waist, letting you know why he really did it. You were somewhat thankful; smoke was bad for the baby. But there are less obvious ways to have gone about that.

Rook grumbled but didn’t attempt to light another one. Slim looked at you, an eyebrow raised in question. You shrugged your shoulders, pretending to act innocently naïve to Colson’s behaviors.

Eventually the three boys travelled from the couch, leaving you and Colson alone. “Babe, you gotta try and be a little more subtle about that shit.” You mumbled, turning to face him.

He scrunched his eyebrows, “he shouldn’t be smoking around you. What else was I supposed to do?”

You sighed, “I don’t know, but that wasn’t subtle. If you keep treating me differently, they’re gonna figure out that something’s up.”

Colson lets out a breath through his nose, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. “I’m sorry, I just don’t want anything to happen to…” he trailed off, trying to keep a low profile.

“I know you’re just being careful. It’s sweet, and I really appreciate it. But either we tell the guys what’s going on or we figure out how to be more subtle.” You thought you guys were being quiet, but once again Baze was standing just within earshot, hearing your entire conversation.

 Colson demanded you stay backstage instead of in front of the gates like normal tours. “I don’t care if they think something’s up, you are not getting anywhere near that crowd.”

This was something you could actually agree on, not wanting any crazy fangirls to try and reach over the barricade and hurt you by accident (it had happened before). So, you were stood backstage before the concert, like normal, only this time you had a spot next to the stage picked out just for you to watch. Colson came over to you, jumping up and down in excitement.

You giggled at his happy demeanor, feeding off his energy. “Good luck kiss?” You offered to which he happily nodded. You pulled him in by his shoulders, intending to give him a soft kiss. Colson being Colson, however, decided that this was the perfect time for an extremely heated make out session.

You didn’t complain much as his hands explored your waist, paying special attention to your stomach, where a small bump would soon be forming. His lips against yours were heaven.

“Okay loverboy!” Ashleigh called, making him pull away from your lips but he kept himself close to you. “You’re on.”

He nodded towards her, giving you one last peck before running off to the stage. Before he left, his hands lingered on your stomach just a little longer than normal, his eyes glancing down to it for a split second.

Then you watched the love of your life run towards the stage, a grin on his face. “I love you!” You called. He turned to you right before he got on stage and mouthed the words back to you, knowing you couldn’t hear him anymore. You smiled, the sight of him living his dream making your heart melt.

Slim was on the side of the stage closest to you, and had caught the last moments of your intimacy, including Colson’s attention to your stomach. He perked and eyebrow at the sight but shook it off as Colson being into some weird new thing.

 After the show, everyone was hyped up on adrenaline and alcohol. The crew decided to move the party to a nearby club. Colson wanted to take you back to the bus and stay there with you all night, but you made him go. “Colson, I have been in this condition for all of 3 days. I am fine. You just finished the first show of your tour. We,” you pointed between the two of you, “are going out to celebrate, even if that means I can only drink water or pop.”

He rolled his eyes but gave in, letting you drag him down the street towards the rest of your friends. When you got to the club, you grabbed a table with Ash, Irv, Baze, and Slim while Colson took Rook to get drinks for everyone.

When the pair got back, they started handing out drinks. Colson set a glass of water in front of you, causing the group to raise eyebrows at you two, which you just shrugged off, sipping the water. As much as you would have loved to get wasted with your friends, you knew it would hurt the baby. You tried to act as nonchalant about it as possible, realizing that it was gonna be hard to hide your secret if you got water every time you went out.

This was going to be a long 9 months.

“I wanna dance.” Ashleigh said, grabbing Irv and Rook and dragging them to the floor. You grinned, about to stand up and join them when you felt a hand on your thigh. You turned towards Colson, who was currently stopping you from having fun, giving him a glare.

He shook his head slightly at you, leaning close to you to whisper in your ear. “There’s a lot of people here, I don’t want you to get hurt.”

You sighed and rolled your eyes, whispering back, “can you ease up a little bit, please? I’ll be careful. I want to have a little fun before I’m not able to move at all.”

His face was stern, the two of you having a silent argument with your eyes. You pleaded with him, trying to get him to crack but he just shook his head.

Meanwhile Baze and Slim watched you two, trying to figure out how the hell you were communicating without actually talking. “Is everything okay with you two?” Slim asked, pulling your attention to the two men.

You nodded, smiling, “yeah, we’re great.”

Baze cocked his head, “you sure? Because he’s” he pointed at Colson, “acting like you’re pregnant or something.”

You felt Colson’s hand on your thigh tighten, his entire body stiffening. You giggled, trying to play off the comment. Baze started laughing the moment he saw Colson’s expression, which you turned to see was like a deer caught in headlights. Slim’s eyes went wide, “holy shit, for real? Congrats guys!”

You laughed, rubbing Colson’s shoulder, “good job, babe. You did a great job at keeping this between us.”

He looked down at you with a sheepish expression, “sorry, I thought we were being subtle.” He mumbled and you laughed.

“Cols, I was being subtle. You were acting like I was gonna die if someone so much as touched me.” Slim and Baze chuckled at this, and you turned to explain. “We found out for sure yesterday and didn’t want anyone to get freaked out or throw off the tour or anything. So, Colson here,” your head nodded towards your boyfriend, “thought we could keep it a secret for now.”

He frowned, his friends still laughing at him. “Dude, you are the worst secret keeper ever, man.” Baze said. “It took one push and you cracked.” You giggled, nodding your head in agreement. “But seriously, congrats guys.”

“Thanks, B.” You said, “but listen, both of you. If anyone on this tour tells me what I can and can’t do because I’m pregnant, I’ll cut their dick off.” The two boys nodded in understanding.

“Am I really that bad at keeping secrets?” Colson asked, still upset that he spilled.

You giggled and nodded, “Yeah, darling. You are.”

[studyvibes]

Another new translation of Maneskin interview

I planned on translating the interview last week, but the day I was free the whole area where I lived had an issue with the WiFi, so through out the week, when I had a bit of free time I translated the interviewer piece by piece.

The translation is of this video: https://youtu.be/4Meslb_X9Fg

I thought it was best to include the video of the interview because there are videos and images relevant to their answers.

So this interview is by the VK which is basically like Russian Facebook.

In the original video the host speaks in Russian and Maneskin reply in Italian with Russian subtitles shown.

(Text which is bold and in brackets during the translation are some notes I added, to add come context)

Interviewer: For the first time, Maneskin is visiting Moscow, who are the winners of Eurovision. And today we are welcoming them in our studio. Guys, hello. (If you translate exact its: Guys, big hello to you)

Maneskin: Thank you very much

[0:17] Interviewer: The site Kontakte is one of the biggest sites in Russia and also one of the biggest music platforms in Russia, where people listen to your music. In our top charts of most listened songs you are one of the very few international musicians/bands that are included in the chart. In general the chart includes mostly songs in Russian language, so this shows how very popular you are in our country.

Maneskin: That’s very nice!

Interviewer: Please tell me - your international success just happened in 3 months: charts in Russia, charts in Billboard, I think this is the first time ever since ABBA that a musician/band became famous even in America after Eurovision. How did your life change in this span of 3 months?

Damiano: yeah there was a big difference/change.

Damiano: We could say that it was sudden and how we saw everything explode after Eurovision, but we are very happy

Damiano: Ofcourse this means a lot of work is expected because everything that we did before for Italy, we do now around the world. But we are very happy: this what we wanted and why we worked so hard -we are very, very happy/lucky.

[1:30]Interviewer: Going back to Eurovision, I was present at backstage and at the final, sharing happiness about your winning. I’d like to ask, did you know and how did you react to the fact that all artist for the past two weeks were saying that you were the obvious winners, even though the genre of your performance is a complete contrast to most competitor’s songs. How confident were you.

Interviewer: To solidify my words (about being at Eurovision) I have a photo *shows a photo on iPad of Interviewer and Maneskin on the night they won Eurovision*

Maneskin: oh it was you!

Victoria: We weren’t exactly confident. When we went to Eurovision, we thought only about being able to carry our music to a very wide auditorium, but we didn’t expect that we would be able to win - especially with the type of genre we play and sing in Italian - it is not something that appears often in this competition

Thomas: Yeah, that’s true, it was very unexpected and even the people - in Eurovision - were saying “You will win, you will win” - of course to us it was nice, but we completely didn’t expect it. And same with what happened after.

Ethan: (he said something, but they didn’t add a translation to what he said)

[2:45] Interviewer: I’d like to say a few words about our Manizha - Russian Woman (she represented Russia in Eurovision 2021) - were you able to meet her and chat with her? And are you planning to see her in Moscow

Victoria: yes yes, she even sang an Italian song

Damiano: it was something “Ti amo, ti amo”

Thomas: No, no, no, not that one!

Damiano: “Felicità”?

Thomas: No, no. I don’t remember.

Interviewer: (I didn’t hear him but I think he agreed with Damiano)

Maneskin: “Felicità”, yes, “Felicità”!

Damiano: They even sang in multiple voices! (Manizha had back singers with her, who joined her for Eurovision)

Interviewer: So after you won Eurovision, you were congratulated by Eros Ramazzotti, Royal Blood, and Franz Ferdinand. Which congratulation towards you was unusual and unexpected? And what did it mean to you

Victoria: Probably the big groups, which we always listen to, which always inspired us. It was also really nice, already the fact, that they talk about us - it was unbelievable. And because, of course, for us it was very important, that they liked us/valued us. And what most wild/unusual out of is that we got to collaborate with Iggy Pop.

Rest of Maneskin: *agreeing with Victoria’s answer*

Victoria: He is one of our main idols, he is one of the people who created/established punk-rock.

Thomas: Yes, of course, support from big musicians, from people who we listened to from the very start - it’s really wonderful and important/valuable recognition

Interviewer: tell us about your work with Iggy Pop. How did it happen, did he contact you or you were able to reach out to him?

Victoria: We were always huge fans of him. And when everything so well, he saw who we were and what type of music we have, and we asked him, if he would’ve want to produce something together. He said, that he really likes the song “I wanna be your slave.” and wanted to make a collaboration.

Interviewer: I saw that Miley Cyrus made a repost video of where you are performing a cover of her song and said you are her friends. Is there a possible collab with Miley?

Maneskin: Anything is possible.

Damiano: (in English) Who knows

Interviewer: with who would you want to collab?

Victoria: with many, with many! Arctic Monkeys, Foo Fighters, I don’t know.. with so many!

Interviewer: An interesting thing - the group BTS became the symbol of South Korea, making kpop genre popular. You are becoming...you became, the symbol of Italy. Do you feel any responsibility and are you planning on promoting Italian language/ making Italian language popular?

Damiano: We are thinking about making our music, and if our country will choose us to be their representatives, we would be happy. But no, we don’t feel this responsibility, we are thinking of own work/ business.

Interviewer: I can’t not ask very important question which is interesting for the fans - are you preparing an album, can you share some hints/ secrets? Because everyone is waiting for it. And the fact that in one of your songs which was released years back reached the top world wide charts, now we all can’t wait.

Victoria: Its all secret!

Damiano: We can say, that we are preparing new music - this is the secret which we can reveal.

Thomas: Yeah, and we are trying to find time, to write, to work on music. Certainly/undoubtedly, you can expect multiple surprises.

Interviewer: you are a unique group - from the point that your centre/focus is towards all of the members, which is different to other bands where bands are seen as the frontman and the rest of musicians. But each member of your group is seen a big celebrity. Did this happen accidentally or is this the concept you made, and how does your friendship help you with you work?

Damiano: We always tries to avoid the stereotypes of bands/groups, where only the vocalist is recognized/known. We always tried to push not only the group as whole, but also the 4 individuals of the group. And this is probably also happens because of our close friendship. Luckily, nobody feels like they are in the shadows pushed by others.

[7:38] Interviewer: It’s really cool that you change/ remove the stereotypes and create new trends.

Maneskin: We try, We try. We carry our little contribution.

Interviewer: Damiano, I would like to ask you personally a question - from what I am aware of, at the start, the band didn’t accept you into the band, something didn’t work out, could you please tell us in more detail?

*Maneskin laughing at Damiano*

Victoria: He became older, and his voice became magically/suddenly different!

Interviewer: what I understood was that it happened was because you originally sang more pop music, not rock with the band.

Damiano: In reality/to be honest, nothing changed, I stayed pop. Let’s say, I grew, and my voice changed, and I started to sound more earnest/persuasive.

[8:22] Interviewer: How did the band form? You first place of performance was at the street of Rome?

Maneskin: Yes, we started to play in school

Victoria: and since then everything went with the flow. We started to play on the streets, at small establishments, at school - anywhere where we could have an opportunity to perform

Interviewer: what was the hardest in those performances?

Thomas: To find a place where we can perform

Victoria: Yes, exactly, where to perform. And later, it was very small establishments and the audience at the start didn’t take us too seriously. But together as a band we supported each other - in the end, it was our dream, we even liked to perform in front of just a few people, which is why we continued.

Thomas: Exactly, yes. At the start we sometimes performed to an auditorium with a few people, but even then you had to stay convincing/conclusive. Over some period of time, in the crowd, people start to appear who valued our music, what we did. But for me, it was probably, the main challenge was to see, play, perform well and stay yourself in front of 2 or 3 people.

Ethan: Yes, there were times when we performed in front of an audience in which there were only parents. We gave out the same level and the same energy.

Interviewer: I think it is common thing to happen when a musician/ band performs at private party, where Russian musicians performed for one person in the hall.

Maneskin: oh this is something very very private

Interviewer: I think I’ll get in trouble for telling you this, but Little Big told me this story.

*Maneskin recognizing the bands name*

Maneskin: Aaa, Yes!

Interviewer: Ed Sheehan, in his time, took a challenge, he also started from street performing, to make 300 performance in a year. Are you ready to start your world tour and to perform nearly every day?

Thomas: Of course, definitely. The other way it won’t happen.

[10:25] Interviewer: I’d also like to know/ask, if you often spend your time together, as friends, if you have any common hobbies, and what do you do as a break/rest?

Victoria: We practically don’t have any life outside the frame of music, we spend all our time in work. But when we do find spare time, we just go somewhere to relax and have fun.

Interviewer: What simple tip/advise would you give to young musicians which at the moment are street performing but dream to perform in big stadiums?

Victoria: I think, you should continued with your journey and don’t change due to other people’s opinions.

Ethan: Yes, that right. Be always yourself.

Interviewer: your time of fame happened in Italy a few years ago from the show X Factor when you performed the cover from the band the Four seasons on their song “Beggin”. Did you expect that your cover would become a world hit in a few years? And a lot of people associate the song more with you (like more than the original band)

Ethan: Yeah. It’s.... weird!

[11:33] Interviewer: I’d like to show you an interesting photo. The photo illustrates when it was the last time Russia saw Italians. It’s a movie from the year 1974 which is called “the unbelievable journey of Italians in Russsia” do you see any similarity?

*at [11:48] you can see the image of four people: on the left two men happily hugging each other, in the centre a woman, and on the right a tired looking man*

Maneskin: Nooooo *laughing*

Ethan: Wow (the exact words that were written in subtitles were “Да ты что!” Which in Russian is used as an expression of surprise )

Ethan and Thomas point at which person they think they are in the left

Ethan: I am the one in the left

Interviewer: This is actually a very popular Soviet comedy and the movie is about Italians which travelled to Russia in search of treasure, which left was by one of the main character’s grandmother. I would like to know after which treasure did you go after in Russia?

Victoria: I think, our fans, possibly perform, and play in concerts. All the love and affection.

Interviewer: It would be nice if you could watch the movie, maybe during your flight, and share your opinion on social media.

Ethan: ok, will do.

Interviewer: I’d also like to show you a very popular video which was spreading in Russia. Where it was comparing your lyrics from “I WANNA BE YOUR SLAVE” and lyrics from a Russian musician Alla Pugacheva. Both songs have same repeating words: “master” and “gangster”

Maneskin: (idk who said it) I saw it in Tiktok

Interviewer: just in case, I’ll show you the video

*[11:58] shows the video which interviewer talked about*

Thomas: You already saw it.

Interviewer: Your Russian fans, went further, started to look for famous Russian performers who wore similar outfits that you wear. But it turned out that all the similar outfits were worn by on person, his name is Valery Leontiev. I’d like to show you the pictures to show you just how similar his outfits are.

*[13:35] you can see the image comparisons, in the background you can hear Damiano laughing and say “no no”*

Thomas or Ethan: Unbelievable! This is crazy, this isn’t possible.

Interviewer: Yes the similarities are on point/ are exact.

Interviewer: I’d like to conclude the interviewer with genuine admiration because for the past 3 months you exploded the whole music industry, which didn’t happen for ages. And to be honest, it is true what you said about saving your authenticity and believe in yourself. We are very proud of you, Russians love Italians (ik that a lot of old Italian movies and songs are very popular in Russia). Please continue to grow and make wonderful music.

Maneskin: Thank, thank you very much.

————————————-

Hopefully you enjoyed the interview and the translations made sense

[natromanxoff]

Queen + Adam Lambert live at the Scotiabank Saddledome in Calgary, Canada - June 26, 2014

(x)

• After "Tie Your Mother Down", Adam leads the audience into a fun, impromptu call-and-response singalong ("♫ All your love tonight"). A hilarious conversation with a well-endowed onstage VIP audience member ensues:

Adam: "Look at those tits, you can sing good."

Lady: "That's why I have them! 'Cause I can't sing."

A: "Awww I'll sing for you."

A singing: "♫ All those lovers, lovely, lovely bosoms."

A: "I can say that 'cause I'm a fag."

• Towards the end of "Crazy Little Thing Called Love", Adam yells, "Great balls of fire", in response to Spike Edney's piano jam on the song.

• Brian May playfully key smashes the highest notes on the piano while Edney is still playing, and Adam joins in.

(x)

Fan Stories

“The trip to Calgary was filled with delicious anticipation. I had bit the bullet and decided to go for broke and bought an OnStage ticket. I really wanted to get a different perspective and figured this would do it. The OnStage package included all the bits and bobs that come with VIP packages (T Shirt, souvenir ticket, ect.) with the exception of also sitting on stage and receiving a backstage tour. Our tour guide, Andy, a carpenter by trade, had the job of building everything that was needed for the massive stage production, which included set up, take down and obvious other tasks (such as tour guide, lol) and apparently that massive metal Q was damn heavy. He, along with 44 other stage crew would be with Queen throughout their tour, which, so far, is set to finish in Australia. For the North American leg the crew travels about in one of 13 buses. However, Roger, Brian and Adam (and likely the rest of their band and entourage) fly from venue to venue, usually leaving from the concert to go directly to the airport and rest assured, they do not fly commercial. Andy showed us around and introduced us to several members of the crew. They were all a lively bunch and seemed to love their jobs- who wouldn’t?! I found out that the big screen used on stage has a million pixels. Also learned, that some of the guitars Brian May travels with are the same ones he used from the early days. Andy also remarked on Dr. Brian May’s great intellect and how England should be knighting him any day now. Andy had great praise for Roger, Brian and Adam saying that they are friendly and great fun to work for and often take the time to greet or chat with the crew. Finally we were shown to the VIP pit and warned that there would be absolutely “no touching the performers”, what? damn! The VIP pit was situated on the left of the stage beside a ‘screamer’, which is what they call the metal steps that jut up and off the stage on both sides (a performer runs up them and the crowd screams, hence the name). There were 10 of us and I sat in front, next to one of the screamers. The pics from this view would mean taking a lot of side shots but the live views would be incredible as Adam’s water station was beside the pit. Most of my fellow VIPers were contest winners. (lucky devils) Only two of this group had personally met Brain and Roger, during a white hat ceremony, a Calgary tradition apparently, where they presented Brian and Roger with white cowboy hats. They did not meet Adam. (We had been told prior to our tour that any meetings with the band would be by chance as they were all in their dressing rooms prepping for the show). Sitting next to me was a lovely, buxom blonde who amply filled her stunning outfit. (this will have relevance a little later). I realize I might be biased but the Edmonton crowd were louder and more enthused than that of Calgary. Edmonton had stomped, sang, and cheered for Queen to come out; the noise level filling the air with such excitement that it had showed on the faces of the band when the curtain went up. As Adam noted on Twitter with a tweet later that night, Edmonton was pumped! Whereas Calgary’s crowd seemed willing to patiently wait with sporadic hoots and whistles. I asked my lovely new blonde friend if Calgary seemed quiet to her and she commented that they were a rather reserved crowd in comparison to other cities. (Her boyfriend was a musician for a famous performer, so I figured she should know.)

This is not to say that Calgary didn’t go crazy when the curtain finally went up. Adam was in fine form and gave his all. He sang with emotion and the crowd responded. The day off between shows was evident in his vocal acrobatics as he sang more glory notes and runs than he had in Edmonton, where he had performed back to back concerts. (Saskatoon was the night before Edmonton.) Brian May, Roger Taylor, Neil Fairclough, Spike Edney and Rufus Taylor all came over to us at some point to say hello and we were close enough to touch the face of any one of them but behaved appropriately (under threat of tackle and expulsion by security, hahaha!). Roger and Taylor were class acts and their touching songs and nostalgic videos of Freddie and them in their youth brought a tear to the eye for many, I’m sure. Brian’s guitar solo although different from Edmonton was equally impressive as were Roger and Rufus’s drum duelling. Adam also acknowledged us in the pit as he came over to get water- he waved and smiled, yes- there was swooning. HaHa! During ‘Somebody to Love’ he walked towards myself and my lovely blonde friend, stared right at us and held the mic up to our faces. If he wanted us to sing, which he did, it wasn’t happening. He laughed and joked with my lovely buxom blonde friend and said (to paraphrase, as Adam’s language was much more colourful) that with her large bounty, surely the girls could sing. We erupted in laughter and with that he twirled about and finished the song. After the show Spike shook our hands and Rufus Taylor presented my lovely blonde friend with one of his drumsticks. (apparently she has quite the collection) Sitting OnStage was a fabulous experience to get up close to the band and I’m really glad I bit that bullet. Bear in mind the following pics are from the side stage vantage point. I also took some short video clips but since I am working on an ipad I am having some issues with loading them and will do that when I am back home.”

(x)

[blu-joons]

DATING NCT A⇴Z HEADCANON ⇴ Qian Kun

A ⇴ AFFECTION 

Kun very much felt a responsibility to protect you, so his affection would always be intended to keep you safe. He’d often squeeze you a little too hard, but you knew it always came from a place of love and concern which you adored.

B ⇴ BEFORE DATING 

Your first meeting was strange, whilst you worked backstage at the arena, Kun randomly approached you and asked if he could show you a magic trick he’d been working on. It was safe to say that the trick didn’t quite go to plan, much to his embarrassment, but you were able to look past that and get to know the person Kun.

C ⇴ CONFESSION 

After making an absolute fool of himself, Kun we convinced that he’d blown things, only for the two of you to get to know each other over the next few weeks. Kun learned as much about you as possible before confessing to you, he didn’t want to break his heart or yours. Once he was sure though, he found the perfect magic trick to still your heart, and best of all, make sure that he could tell you exactly how he felt about you.

D ⇴ DATES 

The two of you loved to go out and explore on your dates, Kun hated staying indoors at the dorms like other couples did, he knew that he could keep you safe and that the two of you would be smart with your decisions. You could usually be found at a concert or a movie, even though the two of you liked to go out, you weren’t ones for physical dates or doing anything that used up too much energy. You much preferred to just sit and down chill for a while and forget about how busy everything else for you both.

E ⇴ EXPERIENCE 

Before you, Kun had never dated before, but before he did decide to enter a relationship, he did a lot of research on dating as an idol and things to look out for. As the leader, he knew the others looked up to him as an example, so he wanted to make sure that with you he showed them exactly how an idol can maintain a relationship whilst also enjoying a healthy private life too. Kun was always open with you about his fears, but together you made sure that you kept the balance at all times between work and your relationship.

F ⇴ FIGHTING 

The two of you weren’t a couple who argued often. You were very good at talking to each other and learnt a lot about how not to push each other’s buttons. Before Kun confessed, he made sure all about how not to anger you and what to do if you did get frustrated. The last thing he ever wanted to do was hurt or upset you, so he made sure that he always knew the way to solve any conflict between the two of you before it ever had the chance to get out of hand. He would always be there to diffuse a situation, no matter how angry you became, he’d always be calm and composed.

G ⇴ GETTING TO KNOW HIS FAMILY 

With his family so far away, it was hard for you to get to know them. So, you’d both set aside a couple of hours in your weeks to call his family and give you plenty of time to bond before you inevitable flew out to China to be able to meet them all properly. It was the perfect chance to get to know each other.

H ⇴ HOME 

Independence was something that Kun quite enjoyed, and sometimes moving in with his heart partner made him quite nervous. It was something that he didn’t want to rush, he wanted to wait until that perfect moment came along in your relationship before finding a place that you’d both be able to call yours.

I ⇴ “I LOVE YOU” 

Of the two of you, Kun was the first to say, ‘I love you.’ It was one night at the end of date night, after attending his favourite band’s concert, he acted entirely on impulse and listened to his heart, barely able to keep his composure as he said it. He was terrified that he’d said too soon, until you said it back and made sure to settle all of the nerves that he had.

J ⇴ JEALOUSY 

The boys would love to tease the mum of the group about being in a relationship, but Kun would never let their comments get to him. He didn’t tend to get jealous very often, he knew you could handle yourself, and even if he did get jealous, he always handled the situation with such maturity that no one around the two of you would have recognised his jealousy, aside from you of course. You could always tell when he was feeling jealous, one look at his eyes was it all it took for you to see how he was feeling.

K ⇴ KIDS 

He never made a secret of the fact that he loved children, that was a quality that you quickly learnt about Kun. He definitely planned on having a family in his future, but he was smart enough to know that there would definitely be a few years yet before he had to worry about such things. If there was one thing he was sure of though, it was that he saw his family starting and ending with you, that was all he ever wanted.

L ⇴ LAUGHTER 

The sound of your laughter was exactly what Kun lived for. He never let your first meeting deter him, he’d often try again with his magic tricks and always made sure that you were the first one to see a new trick that he learnt. Whilst they didn’t always exactly go to plan, they could always be guaranteed to put a smile on your face at his expense. Whether you were laughing with him or at him, just knowing that you were laughing was enough for Kun to be happy too. He’d show you again and again until he had the trick down perfectly, which at times, could end up with weeks of laughter as he constantly failed in front of you.

M ⇴ MISSING 

As the leader, Kun didn’t give himself much time to miss you. Whilst it was hard for him, he wanted to be the one that the other members turned to when they were struggling rather than the other way round. Like with his parents, every week the two of you would always reserve a couple of hours with each other, when time zones suited, and just sit down and talk with each other. Those couple of hours were always something that the two of you could hold onto throughout the week when you were missing each other. There was no way that you’d have got through Kun being on tour if it wasn’t for that dedicated time together.

N ⇴ NICKNAMES 

He loved to call you by sweet nicknames, “jagi” was his favourite nickname for you, he loved that it was traditional and always made him sound like a man in love rather than a boy who was still dreaming about a girl.

O ⇴ OBSESSION 

Kun was obsessed with your personality, he fell in love with your heart before anything else. It was the characteristics that you possessed that drew him to you and left him obsessed ever since.

P ⇴ PDA 

The two of you were quite reserved in public, you made enough of a statement to make sure that people knew you were together, but that was it. In public, Kun would always be incredibly protective of you, he’d never be able to forgive himself if he didn’t keep you safe when you were out together.

Q ⇴ QUESTIONS 

The questions you received the most from Kun searched for reassurance. He never wanted his members to see their leader crumble, but around you, he always knew that he could turn to you for that boost of support whenever it was needed or that perfect piece of advice.

R ⇴ RANDOM FACTS 

You’d often receive messages throughout the day of voice notes that Kun had put together, just of his piano. He loved to show you the different melodies he was working on and get your opinion on it. Usually at the end of a note you’d hear a “hi” or “I love you” but aside from that, he wanted to make sure that you could hear first hand just how talented he was on his piano and take up the chance to show off to you just how good a player he was.

S ⇴ SEX 

These were the times when Kun was most romantic with you, he would never want to let you go. He loved the intimacy and being able to be nice and close to you. He would tend to be the dominate one, but he made the softest dom. He would be incredibly affectionate and always make sure that he put your own needs above his. As long as he made you happy then that was by far all that ever mattered to Kun.

T ⇴ TEXTS 

Just like his piano notes, Kun will often text you lyrics that he’s put together to get your opinion on them before he writes them down to paper. Your opinion, and text, is always most important to him before he gets to work.

U ⇴ UNIVERSE 

Kun loved the fact that he could start to look to a future with you. Suddenly everything that he did revolved around you, he could never make a decision without thinking about how it affected you or what you’d think about it.

V ⇴ VACATION 

When the opportunity presented itself to go away, you were both determined to head out to China so that you could finally get the chance to meet his family properly. It was something the two of you looked forward to for so long, and so did they, that it was the obvious thing to do when the time was free.

W ⇴ WHINING 

There were few times that Kun whined, you’d tend to hear it the most if something didn’t go his way at the studio or if a composition wasn’t coming together.

X ⇴ XXXXX 

You’d often feel Kun kiss against your skin whenever he held you. When he spoke to you, he’d often interrupt himself by pressing kisses to you. He loved to kiss against your forehead the most, there was something so intimate for him, his hands would always brush your hair out of the way first, then he’d take a small step forwards and guide your head forward so he could kiss you exactly where he wanted to.

Y ⇴ YOU 

You were his best friend, the one that he wanted his forever to be with.  

Z ⇴ ZZZ 

He would never go to sleep at night without making sure that you were asleep beside him. His sense of responsibility would reappear to make sure that you were able to sleep peacefully before he began to worry about himself.

---

Masterlist

[simp4reggie]

Can you do a Luke x reader where the reader is Luke’s best friend and Luke is telling her about his developing crush on Julie. But unbeknownst to Luke, Y/N (the reader) had been harboring a crush on Luke, but she has to deal with seeing Luke and Julie being playful with each other, constantly feeling jealous but wanting Luke to be happy. This leads the reader to get distant and starts avoiding Luke. The bad notices this and tries to contact her, at this time Luke realizes that he has feelings for Y/N. Then they make up and have a happy ending!! Make it fluffy, good luck!!

Only Took 25 Years

Luke x Reader

Word Count: 3014 Words

A/N: @mggpleasedontlookhere I did it a slight bit different but I hope you like it! 

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Back in 1995, we all died. The boys were rehearsing for their gig at the Orpheum. I was in the “audience” watching them perform their hearts out, specifically Luke. He’s been my best friend since we were very young but for years I’ve always felt a little more about him. He’s the sweetest, most energetic person I know. He’s like a puppy dog. It kills me to know he doesn’t feel the same way. 

I heard the final strum of ‘Now or Never’ pulling me from my thoughts. I saw Luke waving me over to the stage. Behind me, a waitress clapped and cheered for them. “Thank you. We’re Sunset Curve,” Reggie said and winked at her . 

“Good job guys! This might be the best one yet,” I cheered walking on the stage.

“Thanks, (Y/N),” Bobby said, still on the high from performing. “Too bad we wasted that on sound check!”

I gave them each a hug but when I got to Luke it felt like it lingered longer than the rest of them. It was probably just in my head. 

“Wait until tonight, man, when this place gets packed with record execs,” Luke said with his arm around my shoulders. 

“Alex, you were smoking,” I heard Reggie say. 

“Oh no. I was just warming up. You guys were the ones on fire,” Alex shrugged off the compliment. 

I rolled my eyes. “Could you just own your awesomeness for once?” He smiled back at me and said, “All right, I was killing it.” We all laughed before Luke suggested getting street dogs before the show to fuel up. Reggie, Alex, and I all agreed while Bobby got sidetracked and started walking towards the waitress from before.

“Hey Bobby! Where you going?” Luke removed his arm from my shoulder to go catch up with him. All of a sudden I felt cold like my skin missed the feeling of his touch. I shook the feeling off and went to stand next to the guys.

“You guys are really good. I see a lot of bands. Been in a couple myself. I was really feeling it.” The waitress said to the guys.

“Thanks. That's what we do this for. I’m Luke by the way.” “Hi! I’m Reggie.” “Alex.” “Bobby,” The guys went down the line and stared at me. “Oh well, I’m (Y/N). I’m just a friend of the band.”

“She’s more than a friend,” Luke starts to say. My heart starts to race. “She’s the one who makes sure everything is set. Our instruments, the club dates, everything. Without her we’re just four boys without a clue.” I give him a little nudge. 

“Give yourself some credit. Without me you could get on any stage and become rock stars.” He gave me a side hug.

“Anyway, it was nice meeting all of you. I’m Rose.”

“Uh here’s our demo and a t-shirt. Size: beautiful.” Reggie hands her a CD and a shirt he must have grabbed from the stage before walking over. 

“I’ll make sure not to wipe the tables down with this one.” Rose says putting it on her shoulder. 

“Oh good call. Whenever they get wet, they kinda just fall apart in your hands.” I say to her. The guys stare at me unamused. “What?”

“Don’t you guys have to go get hot dogs?” Bobby says obviously trying to get some alone with Rose. 

“Yeah he had a hamburger for lunch,” Luke says while walking away. We all follow him until we're outside the theatre. 

We decide to go get street dogs a couple blocks away. After making our hot dogs off the back of the oldsmobile, we choose to sit on the couch available squishing together so we fit. 

“You guys, this is awesome! You’re playing the Orpheum!” I exclaimed. “I can’t even count how many bands have played here and then ended up being huge! You’re going to be legends.”

Luke wrapped his arm that wasn’t holding a hot dog around me. “And you’ll be there every step of the way. You’re just as a part of the band as each of us.” I smile at him. “Eat up. ‘Cause after tonight, everything changes.” 

We all took a bite of our hot dogs. There was something off about my hot dog. I couldn’t find a word to describe it. And not in a good way. Alex voiced my thoughts, “That’s a new flavor.” I looked at him and he looked back at me like “Should we really be eating this?”

“Chill man. Street dogs haven’t killed just yet.” And then they did.

After we died, we ended up going into this black room where Alex ended up crying, a lot. Then after an hour ended up in their old studio. We found out it's 2020 and a lot has changed. After a lot of screaming and pleading, the girl who lives there now, Julie, ended up letting us stay there. Now here we are a couple days later, about to watch her perform for her teacher for the first time since her mom died. 

Luke gave her an old Sunset Curve that they never got a chance to record. I know it hasn't been long but I feel like Luke has started growing infatuated with her. After we heard her sing for the first time, he hasn’t stopped talking about how talented she is. I know he doesn’t want him to know but I saw him in the studio looking through lyrics using different handwriting. I’m surprised he’s not talking about that yet. 

The pop group that is performing ends and the principal goes on stage. Julie’s friend says to her “Now’s your chance. Go talk to her. I’ll see you in music class.”

“What are you waiting for? This is your time.” Reggie looks at Julie who might “yak in a bowl” if she waits any longer. 

“I just don’t think I had enough time to work on the song.” Julie says worried. 

“I wouldn’t have given you the song if I didn’t think you were gonna rock it. Now there’s a piano on that stage with your name on it.” Luke convinces her. Julie goes backstage and walks on looking nervous. 

“Oh I can’t watch.” I go to turn around but Luke puts his arm around to keep me in place. When Julie looks at us we all give her a thumbs up, mine not as enthusiastic as the others. 

Everyone in the auditorium starts to leave, she starts to play. The piano sounds beautiful with her voice. The occasional student walks over to watch but most of them already have their feet out the door. Then there are lights put on her. The song starts to reach the chorus and all of a sudden I don’t feel Luke’s arm around me and I don’t see the guys. That’s when I notice that I hear cheering and look up to see them on stage with her. After putting two and two together I realize that they are visible to the audience. How is that even possible?

I go run up to the front of the stage. “How is this even happening?” I yell up to them. Reggie looks at me and shrugs. They look so happy. They never thought this was even possible. I look over at Luke and see Julie singing with him. I get a twinge of jealousy wishing I could have this connection with him but I never will. They have so much chemistry on stage I don’t even want to watch. I spend the rest of the time watching Alex and Reggie. 

At the end of the song, they bow and the boys disappear with their instruments. I go out into the hallway to find them pacing around. “Did that just happen?’’ They turn around and give me a massive hug.

“I can’t believe that just happened! Everyone could see us. Please tell me I”m not the only one freaking out!” Alex starts panicking so I walk over and rub his back to calm him down. 

“Bro, I think we’re all freaking out!” Luke eagerly says. “People can see us play. How cool is that?”

“So cool.” Reggie smiles at Luke and they do a little handshake.

They start talking about the performance but my mind keeps going back to Julie and Luke together on that stage. 

“Guys i'm gonna go home.”

“What why?” They say together.

“I’m just not feeling too well. Talk to Julie and see what’s causing this. I’m happy for you.” I see Luke step forward but I poof out before he can say anything.

Back at the studio, I start to spiral downward. I can’t eat. I can’t sleep. I can barely pick something up. I realize being at the studio is doing nothing to help me so I go for a walk on the beach. It made me realize how much I missed being alive and feeling the sand between my toes when the guys and I needed to get away from our families. The nights we would spend here watching the sunset, which inspired the band name. 

Before I know it the sunset comes and goes. The guys are definitely home at this point. I poof back to see them pacing around. “(Y/N)!” Luke runs up to me. “Where have you been? We were getting worried. 

“Just went for a walk to clear my head. A lot has been changing recently.” I walk past him to sit on the couch. I need to talk to someone about this. “Alex, can I talk to you for a minute, alone.”

Alex looks over at Luke and Reggie as if telling them to go. Luke looks a little offended that I don’t want to talk to him but he poofs out first. Reggie follows after him. After they’re both gone, he checks behind the door to make sure they’re not spying and then walks over to the couch and sits down. 

“What’s going on (Y/N)?” 

“A lot, honestly.”

“Well it must be if you don’t want to talk to Luke about it.” He looks at me knowingly. “Is it about him?”

“How do I say I’ve been in love with him for over 25 years?” Alex just stares at me like it wasn’t brand new information. “Is it that obvious?”

“To me but Reggie is oblivious to everything. Why did you disappear after the performance though?”

“Did you not see him and Julie on stage together? They totally had chemistry. I can’t compete with that.” I see him look at me with pity. “Don’t look at me like that.”

“I-I’m not looking at you in any way. I’m just paying attention.” I roll my eyes. “But in all seriousness, are you going to talk to him about this?”

“Of course not. He doesn’t like me back. He’s my best friend and I wouldn’t be able to look at him the same way if he actually said to my face.” I can’t picture my life without Luke in it and I don’t ever want to experience it. 

“Well, ignoring him isn’t going to help either. He was worried about you when you left and even more when we came back and you were gone. He needs you, too. He needs someone to be there to boost his ego.” He nudges me. I chuckle.

“You’re right,” I nudge him back. “Thank you for talking to me. I needed to get it off my chest.

“No problem. I’m always here for you.” I give him a big hug. We may be ghosts but I at least get to have these moments with the boys. 

“Oh. By the way, we asked Julie to join the band and she said yes. That’s okay, right?” Alex said quickly.

“Yeah. It’s your band, you don’t need my permission.”

Weeks go by and it’s getting harder to watch Julie and Luke sing together. I can see from the way Luke looks at her that he likes her. I’ve been thinking about my conversation with Alex about how much he needs me but he’s been going to Julie more often that it doesn’t feel like he does. Because of this I’ve been spending more and more time at the beach. Only Alex knows where I’m going in case of emergencies. 

“Hey.” I hear to the left of me. I look to see Luke standing there. 

“Hey. How did you know I was here?”

“I asked Alex. You’ve only been talking to him recently. I didn’t know I would have to find out what’s going on with my best friend from someone besides her,” He sits down in the sand next to me. “But of course, even Alex won’t tell me because he’s too good a friend.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I turn away from him.

“You know exactly what I mean. You’ve been dismissive. You’ve been acting weird ever since we performed at the spirit rally. You’re never around anymore.” He tries to get me to look at him but I refuse. “Fine. If you’re going to ignore me, I don’t even know why I’m going to try.” He poofs out. I start crying right there. I know that I said it would be hard to not have him in my life but now I don’t know because I don’t know which one feels worse. 

I hear another noise and I turn, hoping Luke came back but  of course not. “Oh, it’s you.”

“You don’t sound too happy about that.” Alex takes the spot where Luke was not too long ago. “Look, I know it’s difficult but try not to be too hard on the guy. He doesn’t know how you feel.”

“It’s not just about that. I know that we’re dead. Okay? I’m not dumb but it still hurts that I can’t help in the ways I used to. I was the one in charge of booking clubs and managing the tour dates. Now, I can’t do that because nobody can see me. I know its bullshit and there’s other things to be upset about. I just miss being an important part of this band,” I stop for a second but he doesn’t say anything so I keep going. “Too much is changing and I can’t handle it. I love you Alex, I do. And I am so thankful that you’re here right now but Luke was the one I was going to about this stuff. I can’t now, not only because I am gut wrenchingly , painstakingly, heartbreakingly IN LOVE with him, but because he’s spending every waking moment with Julie. I just, I don't know what to do.” Once I’m done I just let my back hit the sand. 

“Yes, you do.” I hear a voice that’s not Alex and I’m really hoping it doesn't belong to Luke. However, as soon as I open my eyes I see him looking over me. “You always know what to do.” 

I stand up to look at him and notice that Alex left us alone. “Luke... what are you doing back here?”

“After I went back home, I realized something. I couldn’t leave you alone. Obviously, you had something going on. It shouldn’t have mattered if you told me anyway. Just that you weren’t alone.” 

“How much did you hear?”

“Enough. I didn’t know you felt that way. About any of it. I know it’s hard that you can’t help like you used to. It’s not bullshit, okay? You helped us so much and now it may feel like we don’t need you but we most definitely do. Who’s going to keep us sane? Alex? Seriously, he cried for 25 years with no hug and he won’t let us forget it! No, you will. You have been there since the beginning and you are a massive part of this band. You always will be.” Tears are streaming down his face.

“What about Julie?”

“What about her?”

“You’ve been spending so much time with her. Outside of the band and song writing. All you do now is hang out with her. I miss you so much, Luke. You have no idea.” I turn away from him like before.

“Nope. No.” He pulls me back to face him. “You’re not shutting me out again. You’ve spent more time here than you have at home. You can’t do that and then talk about me not seeing you more.”

“Luke you know that’s different.”

“No, it’s not.” He stops.

“What do you mean?” I stare at him, waiting for the words to come but won’t be prepared to hear.

“All of the time I spent writing and singing on stage, whenever I was hanging out with Julie, I couldn’t stop thinking about you. Every time I was singing I looked at you in the audience but you weren’t looking at me. You were looking at someone else.”

“I couldn’t look at you. You were looking at Julie. You have a connection with her.”

“I have a connection with everybody I sing with. Hell, I have a connection with Reggie when I sing with him. But neither of them are you, (Y/N). I love you.”

“You what?” I walk closer to him.

“You heard me.” 

“Say it again.” I demand.

“I love you.” Luke was right. I do know what to do. I threw my arms around him and put my lips on his. Our mouths molded together like a perfect fit. I felt alive again.

“I love you too.” I said against his lips. He let me go. 

“Good or else that would’ve been awkward.” I laughed. I can’t help but hug him again. He hugs me back harder than before, resting his chin on my head. “God, I love you. It feels so good to say that.” 

 I look up at him. It feels so good to be in his arms. It feels so good to be able to hold him the way I wanted to. It only took 25 years and a hot dog.

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Requests are still open! Feel free to send some my way

- Maddie xxx

[keijikunn]

Memories ─ part i

── A @celestialarchiveshq collab “Connected by fate”

Pairing: Semi Eita x fem!reader Tags: college!au, kinda angst i guess, fluff, SLOW BURN, maybe strangers to lovers!au Summary: On the last day of the year, you dream of your soulmate’s most impactant memory that happened within the year. Each memory will be different each year. Word count: ~3.6k

Author’s note: I’m late and I’m so so sorry! I said I’d comeback by the end of January, but here we are in March lol. I can explain why I took so long in another post, if you want, but anyways. Here’s my piece from the soulmate!au collab from @celestialarchiveshq ! I decided to break it into pieces, because so far I have 9k words and you don’t deserve this. Anyways, hope you enjoy and stay tunned for the next part!

WARNINGS: insecurity, mention of injury (it’s a broken arm), self-esteem issues, let me know if I forgot anything 

MEMORIES’ MASTERLIST

You didn’t know who your soulmate was, the little information you had about them was that you only knew they were a boy and had a huge passion for volleyball and music. But one thing that you knew for sure about him was that he desperately needed a hug. Not because he’s supposedly your partner for life, your one true love, your missing piece. No. Your soulmate mark taught you things are more than that, that there’s more colours than just black and white, more than just simple and exact definitions. 

Being able to access his most important memory of the year through a dream was both a blessing and a curse. The first one is quite obvious, it meant your soulmate had overall a good year, no bad day overshadowed the good ones. However, when the second case occurred, it pained you to know that he went through a lot, and you couldn’t do anything. 

It was hard to predict how much a couple of consecutive bad memories could have changed your soulmate. Knowing only an hour or so piece of the 8760 hours of the last year, let you little to no room to guess how he coped with it. You couldn’t help but think what did he do to deserve all the insecurities and self-doubt he’s been receiving. What happened to the sweet boy that still believed hard work was worthy?

2004 (age of 10)

Your soulmate was running towards his front door, ignoring his young sister’s whines to slow down, but he didn’t pay attention. He was eager to see what was the surprise his father told him before he left for school. What could it be? Your soulmate’s voice, a pitch higher due to his age, resonated inside his head. 

“Mom, dad, I’m home!” He exclaimed, kicking out his shoes to quickly enter the living room; only to receive a stern look from his mother, pointing with her fingers his shoes, indicating he had to organize it. “Okay, I’m doing it.”

“Mom! Nii-chan didn’t wait for me when I asked!” His sister, Aime, complained, closing the door behind her. 

The older woman scolded the young boy, who scratched the back of his neck, apologizing to his sister next. The feeling of excitement filled his body once again when his father, still wearing the shirt and pants from his suit, appeared in his vision, holding a large package. 

“Welcome back, kids.” He grinned, placing the mysterious box on the floor to spread his arms so Aime could jump into his embrace. Your soulmate did not waste time to approach his father, who messed up with his hair. “Son, are you ready for your surprise?”

“It’s not fair that nii-chan’s getting a present! It’s not even his birthday.” Aime whined, both parents exchanged a brief smile, before the mother held onto her shoulders, guiding her to sit on the sofa next to her brother. He was almost jumping on his seat, bouncing his legs as if that motion would stop him from throwing himself at the box to open it. 

“The reason why me and mama decided to gift nii-chan is because he listened very well to us,” the older man started to explain. “Do you remember what he asked us a few months ago, Aime?”

“I asked if I could get my own guitar!” Your soulmate piped in, almost bursting into happiness as he connected the dots. 

“And we talked to you two about it, right?” Their mother continued, instigating her children to remember the topic of that conversation. 

“Mama and papa said that if we dedicate ourselves to something we really want, they could get us what we asked.” The young girl replied obediently. 

“Nii-chan has been dedicating himself to his guitar lessons, so we thought about rewarding his hard work.” Their dad finally announced what your soulmate had guessed all along, a smile spreading on his face. After receiving a light nod from them, the boy immediately put his hands on the wrap, tearing it apart to reveal a beautiful guitar. “We’re expecting extra hard work from now on, buddy.”

“I will!” He exclaimed, hugging both parents tightly, cheeks hurting from his large grin. “Thank you so much!!”

September, 2017 (current time, age of 23)

The memories were blurred in your mind, though all feelings and sensations burned in your heart whenever you remembered it. You always saw them in your soulmate’s perspective, being privileged enough to have a piece of his happiness - or cursed to feel the sadness that washed over in other years. 

It was perhaps his fault that you got so hooked on music and learned how to truly appreciate it, you somehow felt connected with him, as if it was a language only you two knew. It didn’t really matter the genre of the music, you could listen to an indie band from your college or a worldwide superstar; your heart knew how to stay tuned to different frequencies, absorbing the perfect high notes to the bass riff that made your bones shake.

That was how you met this eccentric lead vocal and guitarist from a rock-ish band in your college department, a guy with ash blonde hair, narrowed eyes and a voice filled with unsaid emotions. Semi Eita appeared to be angry at anyone at any time of the day, quick to offer snarky replies with his sharp tongue. It could be just a persona he created as his band progressively became well-known around college, or could be just himself and his lack of interest in people in general. 

You got to know him through your friend - and the band’s drummer - Akihiko, after one of their performances on a local live-house most college students go on a Friday night. Semi sat far from his bandmates, who were talking excitedly with each other and a couple of friends, with the same scowl you’ve seen in a picture Akihiko once showed you. 

“Guys, this is my friend Y/n,” he introduced you as soon as you two entered the small backstage room reserved for the performers. “She’s really into music, so I decided to invite her to one of our presentations.”

“It’s nice to meet you all!” You exchanged greetings, while you noticed the lead vocal just rolled his eyes and busied himself with his phone. “I enjoyed it a lot today! I could feel every instrument resonating through my body. Please invite me for your next performance!”

Throughout the whole night you hang out with the band, Semi stayed quiet on his own, enjoying a bottle of beer too lost inside his head. His bandmates reassured you he was fine, the guy wasn’t a fan of gathering with friends or any sort of social contact - which was ironic to say the least, after all, he spends his free time entertaining people. 

Despite the singer’s wish to avoid contact, many girls - and guys - approached him perhaps to initiate a small talk, or maybe to end up on a secluded corner of the live-house with their mouths on his. His quite mysterious façade was intriguing, you even admitted it to yourself, as a possible explanation to his “fame” around people, and maybe that was the reason he attracted many people. 

You only got the chance to have a proper conversation with him on the next band rehearsal, which Aikihiko invited you per the other’s request. Inside the soundproof studio, you sat on a chair across Semi, who was too busy tuning his guitar to care about your gaze on him. He still sported the same scowl in his face, however, this time you could notice a hint of excitement - maybe even a silent love towards his instrument and what he was able to do with it. 

“Are you done staring at me?” Semi asked angrily, lifting his head from the tuning keys he had just finished adjusting. “Why are you here? Aren’t you Akihiko’s hookup or something?”

“First of all, ew!” You exclaimed, face contorting in a grimace at the thought. “I know him too well to feel attracted! Besides, he permanently smells like cigarettes, it’s awful.”

“Just wait until he arrives, the studio will be infested by this shit.” He replied with a huff, rubbing his hand against his face. “For real, though, why are you here?”

“The other guys invited me to watch you practice,” you said, then leaning down to grab a notebook from your bag by your foot on the floor. “They think watching you play will help me with an activity I have to turn in before the winter break.”

“What is it?” Semi seemed interested, you noticed, putting his guitar on its support, crossing his left leg. Although you two were talking for a couple of minutes, you still felt a cold barrier between you two. It was quite noticeable as how the lead singer guided the conversation, questioning you and your reasons to be there.

“I attend the music course as an extracurricular activity, and I have to produce a song by the end of the semester.” The room fell in silence, but you could almost hear the gears in Semi’s head turning. “And I’m also here to convince you to sing for my project.”

“No.”

“Expected.” You laughed amused as Semi’s eyebrow twitched at your response. “Do you like barbecue? I can take you to an expensive restaurant as a payment.”

“You’re not gonna bribe me.” He stated, narrowing his eyes to send you sharp looks. In response, you smirked at his reaction. Just like Akihiko told me he would react.

“You’re right, I’m not gonna bribe you,” you mirrored his posture: left leg over the right one, arms crossed on the chest. But, contrary to him, you opened a smile, though your eyes screamed at the challenge in front of you. “I’m going to make you agree with me.” 

October, 2017 (current time, age of 23)

A month has passed since your very first talk with Semi Eita, and although you didn’t make any progress regarding your project, you’re getting to know a bit more about the real Semi - not just the cold façace he shows. He is indeed quick with comebacks, hot tempered - especially when he’s talking about music, the boy stands still for his beliefs in what would be better for the band - but, Semi seems to have a huge wall separating his deepest sides from his friends. As if something holds him back from being true to his feelings. 

“C’mon, Semi, we’re having a movie night,” Akihiko whined once again. “Stop watching this volleyball game and let me start choosing the movie!”

“He won’t budge Akihiko, it’s his friends playing.” The bassist, Takeshi, laughed at the rather unilateral discussion: the lead singer’s eyes were still trained on the screen, watching carefully every movement; while the drummer tried to snatch the remote control from the other’s grip. “You should know by now that he analyses carefully every Ushiwaka’s movements to scold him later.”

“I don’t do that!” Semi spoke up, diverting his gaze from the TV, proceeding to push Akihiko away from him. “Ushijima doesn’t need my comments. He never did, anyways.”

“So, the famous Semi Eita is also a sportist?” You teased him, nudging his left left leg with your foot, since you were half laying on the couch. “And has his phone number? Impressive.”

“Our lead singer had the honour to play on the same team as Ushijima Wakatoshi.” Akihiko threw his arm forcefully around the ash blond haired boy, earning a groan in protest. “And played against the Adlers’ setter, right? And you lost, right?”

“You don’t have to remember me, Akihiko-san, thank you very much.” He removed his bandmate over himself to look at you. “And I’m not a sportist.”

“How come not, Semi?” Takeshi retorted rhetorically, the smile on his face gave away his enjoyment in teasing him. “You had a sport scholarship in Shiratorizawa, you have to be at least great in volleyball!”

“Yeah…” Semi muttered lowly, lowering his gaze to the wooden floor of Akihiko’s apartment, clearly bothered by the turn the conversation took. “Choose the movie, I’ll make the popcorn.”

As he left the room, the other two guys exchanged looks, and you kind of deduced they went too far in this topic. To say you were curious about why him attending such a powerhouse school was delicate was an understatement, the urge to get up and follow him to the kitchen and shoot him questions was undeniable high - but you weren’t a senseless person.

Another part of Semi Eita’s personality presented itself to you, holding as many secrets as the façade he shows to everyone else does. You couldn’t help but think about how many experiences he went through to close himself like that, but more than that, you tried to imagine what kind of story Semi could tell through a song. That was the reason why you wanted so bad his participation in your project. 

Semi Eita could tell a great story if he wanted to. And you would try your best to make it happen. 

2008 (age of 14)

Your soulmate slowly dragged himself back home from school, body sore and longing for a long hot shower to relieve the stress of his muscles. Finals were taking a toll on him, especially when he was about to graduate middle school and needed to pave his way to good high schools. The sidewalk was slightly slippery due to the recent melted snow, droplets of water occasionally hitting his uniform’s pants near his ankles. 

Soon enough, he found himself opening the front door, being welcomed by a warmer environment. The young boy removed his shoes and heavy coat, greeting tiredly his mother and sister, who were both in the kitchen making dinner. Your soulmate headed to his bedroom ready to throw himself on his bed, wishing the mattress could swallow him. However, as soon as he turned the lights on, a white envelope with a familiar purple logo on the table caught his attention.

His hands worked quickly in tearing the material apart, removing a single sheet from the inside. The euphoria already dominated his senses, eyes barely proceeding to read the name of the institution at the top of the paper - but he knew which one was. His eyes scanned the words, eagerly searching for what he was wishing to himself for the past few weeks. 

“Mom!” He screamed at the top of his lungs, running out of his room to find her. “I made it! With a sports scholarship!”

“Oh my gosh, congratulations!” The woman cheered, drying her hands on her apron to involve her son in a tight embrace. His cheeks hurt from how wide he was smiling, but the bursting sensation of pride in his chest made up for that.

I am good at something, after all. I made it to a huge school through my volleyball abilities. 

I’m not replaceable. 

Mid October, 2017 (current time, age of 23)

“What the heck happened to you?” The words left your mouth before you could even think after you entered the usual studio the band usually rehearses. Akihiko was seated behind his set of drums, scrolling aimlessly through his phone; and Takeshi finished setting up his bass on the amplifiers. But what surprised you the most was the cast on Semi’s left arm, holding it in a position he couldn’t stretch it. 

“Hi, Y/n,” Semi waved cynically with his right hand, “I am fine, thank you for worrying about my well being.”

“We need your help.” Both Akihiko and Takeshi said. 

“Why do I feel it’s related to the fact Semi broke his arm?” You questioned, glaring at the lead vocal suspiciously. 

“The band has a presentation in a week and Semi can’t play the guitar for obvious reasons,” the bassist started approaching you, offering you a bright yellow pick - which you accepted, still not sure about the end of the conversation. “We’re lacking a guitarist, but Akihiko said you’re pretty good, right?”

“Uh… maybe?” 

“What Takeshi is trying to say is,” Semi cut his bandmate, eyebrows furrowed in annoyance. “We need you to play the guitar as support for our next concert.”

It was unexpected, you thought with yourself, by the little you knew about Semi and his relation to music, you imagined he would ask any close friend of his that he trusted. Perhaps Akihiko mentioned you know how to play, he could have even shown him a few recordings you did in the college studio. Either way, hearing Semi inviting you was a surprise. 

“Sure, I guess?” Your answer sounded more like a question, evidencing your state of confusion and unsureness. “Wouldn’t you guys want someone else, though?”

“No.” The ash blonde hair boy answered without hesitation, once again surprising you. “You’ll do it just fine.”

You quickly exchanged looks with Akihiko, in hopes to discover that it was a huge prank or even a childish comeback from Semi regarding your stubbornness of having his vocals on your project. However, the drummer nodded his head; his facial expression didn’t give any sign of mischievousness like it usually does.

Semi stopped in front of you, handing you his own guitar. The instrument felt foreigner in your grasp, as if a simple guitar held secrets and hidden feelings of its owner - and it might do. You felt oddly connected to the guy in front of you, the same one who denied every invite of yours to sing for a couple of minutes for an extracurricular project. 

As your fingers strummed the strings, you noticed how perfectly tuned the guitar was and you were quickly to mentally facepalm yourself. It’s obvious Semi Eita would take such a good care of his guitar, the boy loved music after all. After adjusting the strap over your shoulder to fit your much smaller stature than the owner’s, you played a couple of chords to make the final adjustments on the amplifiers. 

“So, tell me the setlist I need to work on.” The three men smiled gratefully at you - though Semi’s looked more like a grimace, but you understood. They proceeded to fill you up with plenty of songs and minor details you should be aware of about their style, rearragended chords.

The hours flew by while you were in the studio with the band, the four of you fell in a good synchronization - if an outsider saw the rehearsal, they would never guess you weren’t the main guitarist. Playing with them felt familiar, all your frequencies merged into one smoothly, even easily. You adapted yourself to Akihiko’s excitement and Takeshi’s quirks during his solos, but the easiest one to work with was Semi. 

His style of singing fitted perfectly with your own strumming habits, even the occasional exchange of looks was easily understood between you two. He seems to be too arrogant on stage, pretending as if he was the best amaetur performer in college - but in a sense, Semi could think like this. The way he easily went with the flow with a new element in the studio, someone he has never seen playing before. 

“Great job, guys!” Akihiko exclaimed, clapping his hands a couple of times. You put the yellow pick on the top of the amplifier and cracked your knuckles, feeling your fingers a little stiff from the almost two hours rehearsal. And you did well, Y/n, you even remembered all the chords!”

“Akihiko!” Your whine made both the drummer and the bassist laugh. “I can remember things, okay?”

“Then tell me why can’t you remember your soulmate’s memories?” He wiggled his eyebrows, daring you to answer him. When you didn’t reply, he snorted. “You can’t even defend yourself on that! Anyway, we rented the studio for another hour, but I have some business to solve at home. Feel free to stay until the end, okay? Thank you for the practice!”

“Thank you.” You smiled, sending off the drummer. While you quietly went through the songs you weren’t familiar in the setlist, Takeshi bid farewell to you and Semi - leaving you two alone. “If you wanna leave, just let me know and I’ll stop, okay?”

“You are good,” Semi complimented you, not answering your statement. “Akihiko-san wasn’t lying after all, you are indeed good.”

“Why do you sound so surprised?” The studio was filled with rhythmical strums, following your favourite song of the list while you quietly hummed the lyrics. “I suppose Akihiko showed you a few things I did for the course.”

“Actually, he didn’t,” His response caught you off guard, your right hand stopping its motion in the middle of the song’s bridge. “And I suggested your name as support. I kind of wanted to see what’s up with you and music.”

“And what do you think, Semi?”

“Why do you want me to sing your song for the project?” He asked, ignoring your question completely. You arch your eyebrows in surprise, earning the same gesture - as if he was inciting you to answer him. 

“I strongly believe that music has an unique power to deliver messages. It could be the lyrics, the instrumental or just the performance… everything has a meaning.” You stated, adjusting the guitar in your lap properly; eyes fixed on the man in front of you. “From my point of view, after watching you perform and how you interact with music, I imagined you have some deep feelings buried inside of you that could be delivered through a song. Somebody could relate to you and feel grateful for you expressing something they might couldn’t.”

“I’ll do it.” Semi said after a few seconds in silence, surprising you. When you looked at his face, a small smile adorned his features. You mirrored his expression, though yours were much larger in order to convey your happiness. 

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And You’re Someone Who Knows Someone (Who Was Someone I Once Knew)

Mikey Way x Reader (Gender Neutral)

Word Count: 1909

Request: Could I request anything with Mikey? Thanks :)

A/N: I am so sorry about the delay on this one! I’ve been drowning in school and work at the moment, but I’m still thinking of you guys, I promise! Also, catch that title reference ;)

Disclaimer: This is entirely a work of fiction. No part of this story is meant to be libel, slander, or in any way derogatory towards any character’s real life counterpart. I’m not delusional; I know that these characters are simply based off of a public persona and may not actually resemble the people behind those personas. Any additional characters that you do not recognize are entirely fictional, unless otherwise stated. And finally, if you got here by Googling yourself, whatever happens next is 100% on you.

You rocked back and forth on the balls of your feet anxiously as you stood in front of the chain-link fence. Finally, a large guy with a security shirt came into your view, calling out your name.

“Hey,” he grinned when you nodded. “It’s good to finally meet you in person; Gerard’s been chattering nonstop about you for the past few days. I’m Worm, I’m in charge of most of the security for the band; I’ll take you back now.”

“Okay,” you nodded, putting away the backstage pass that Gerard had mailed to you. You were slightly taken aback by the professional quality of the whole set-up; the last time you had been to a My Chem show, it had been in a much less… respectable venue, and there wasn’t even the faintest idea of guards and backstage passes. Something told you that the security probably wasn’t the only thing that had changed over the last few years...

While you were lost in your thoughts, Worm had led you through a back parking lot filled with big box trucks and busy stage crews right to the band’s bus. He punched in a key-code, and grandly guided you up the steps. 

“Gerard, your esteemed guest has arrived!” He winked good-naturedly at you, and then turned to leave. “Soundcheck at four, please attempt to think about being there in some semblance of a timely manner.” He rolled his eyes as he exited the bus.

Gerard, of course, didn’t hear him because he was too busy leaping off the couch so he could tackle you. “You’re here!”

“Yes,” you grinned, attempting to pat his back and keep your balance at the same time. “It’s been so long, Gerard, how are you?”

He let go and returned your smile. “I’ve been great, really great. A lot better than I was the last time we met. Um,” he ran a hand through his close-cropped white hair, and glanced sideways at Mikey. “You remember Ray and Mikey, right?”

“Of course,” you grinned at them. “How could I not? I did go to all of your shows for a year.”

“Well, uh, Otter ended up leaving after we finished recording Three Cheers, so that’s Bob- say hi, Bob- oh! And you remember Pencey, right? Well, Frankie’s with us now, and I think that about covers it.”

You waved at them. You remembered Frank’s wild nature, not surprised that he fit in so well with My Chem, and Bob seemed nice enough. All of the guys seemed genuinely excited about your presence, though you couldn’t shake the feeling that there were some conspiratorial glances and nudges being thrown around by everyone except Mikey. In fact, the bassist in question was doing his best to look artfully bored from his place on the couch and ignore Frank’s not-so-subtle shoving. Still, you felt a certain tug towards him, even after all these years.

“C’mon!” Gerard said brightly, snapping you out of your observations. “Let me give you the grand tour.”

The rest of the afternoon passed by in a whirlwind of wandering the bus park and venue with Gerard, watching the guys soundcheck from the nosebleeds, and dining on pizza in the green room. You were so glad you had been able to make it to a show; Gerard was one of your closest friends, and it had been a couple of years since you had last met. 

Your friendship had started during your senior year of college- you had both had an internship in the same building, albeit for different companies and lines of work. Since then, you had bonded over several of your shared interests and kept in touch, leading you to go to several of the first My Chem shows, and by extension, meet Ray, Frank, and Mikey. Though your busy work life and their crazy tour schedule had caused you to drift apart, it felt like no time had passed at all as you watched Ray swat Frank for stealing his pizza while Gerard and Mikey laughed uncontrollably at Ray’s exasperated expression.

Soon enough, it was time for them to go onstage, which became evident when the venue’s stage manager knocked on the door to lead them to the curtain. Worm reappeared and guided you to the seat marked on your ticket from Gerard- a center stage view from the very first row of actual seats behind the pit. Clearly, Gerard had wanted to make sure you didn’t miss a single part of the show.

The lights dimmed, and you watched two crewmembers dressed as doctors and nurses wheel out a covered gurney while the sound of a heartbeat monitor played over the sound system. You were unsurprised when Gerard leapt out of the gurney moments later, kicking off the show. 

You already knew the guys were awe-inspiring onstage- you had known it from the way you felt the first time you saw them live- but it was clear to see that over the past few years, they had taken it to a whole new level. They had each grown into their stage personas and their identity as a band, but your eyes kept drifting to one member in particular...

You had noticed it earlier today, but Mikey had definitely evolved since the last time you had met. He seemed much more sure of himself onstage; instead of retreating to the space almost directly behind Gerard, he often came up to the edge of the stage or interacted with his bandmates. He also seemed more relaxed off stage, easily interacting with fans outside of the venue and joking before the show with the rest of the band and crew. You couldn’t deny that he was a far cry from Gerard’s shy, slightly awkward, little brother you had met all those years ago.

Before you knew it, the show was over, and Frank was insisting on heading to a nearby diner for several plates of french fries and milkshakes. You glanced at your watch and balked. “Shit… I’m sorry guys, it’s almost 1am and I didn’t get a hotel. I think I’m going to start the drive home.”

Frank and Gerard glanced at each other, and then they rushed to stop you. “Don’t be ridiculous, come with us and you can just stay on the bus!”

“I don’t want to take up anyone’s space…” You hemmed.

“It’s fine!” Ray insisted. “Don’t even worry about it, you can sleep in the back lounge, it’s honestly very nice.”

Though you were suspicious of their enthusiasm, you accepted their offer with a shrug and followed the rest of the group in their search for a 24 hour diner.

…

You sighed as you took off your shoes and settled into the bed in the back lounge. You were exhausted; the long day of walking, dancing, and socializing was starting to catch up to you. However, just as soon as you had stretched out across the soft surface and closed you, you were startled upright by the sound of yelling coming from the bunk area just behind the lounge door. Confused, you opened it to see Mikey, looking irate, and Frank looking guilty yet slightly pleased with himself.

“What the actual fuck, Frank?” Mikey glared accusingly at him.

“I’m really sorry Mikey, it was-”

“An accident? Frank, we all know you’re clumsy as fuck, but there’s absolutely no way someone pours an entire liter of soda directly on my bunk on accident!”

“Oh shit,” you said, stepping out of the doorway to assess the damage.

Mikey glanced at you. “Sorry if I woke you up, Frank’s just being ridiculous.”

“Mikey, I don’t think you’re gonna be able to sleep here tonight,” Ray said, gently prodding Mikey’s mattress. “It’s pretty soaked.”

“Oh, well, of course,” Mikey sighed irritably. “Well, couch it is, then.”

“Actually,” Gerard piped up, oh-so-helpfully, “there’s plenty of space in the back lounge.” He turned to you. “If you’re okay with sharing, that is.”

You stared at him, trying to figure out his plan here. You were pretty sure that if he could bat his eyelashes right now, he would. Ignoring your suddenly accelerating heart rate, you turned back to Mikey.

“I don’t mind sharing, it is your bus after all,” you shrugged, glancing at Mikey. “Gerard’s right, there’s plenty of room.”

The other three looked extremely pleased with themselves.

“Thank you,” he told you, before turning to glare at Frank and head into the bathroom to change.

A few minutes later, you were in the back lounge again, somewhat awkwardly laying on one half of the double bed as you waited for Mikey to turn off the lights and get settled.

He looked abashed as he stretched out on the opposite side of the bed. “I’m sorry for snapping back there,” he said. “It’s just… the guys have been making fun of me for the past few days and it gets old fast.”

“I understand, it's okay,” you nodded, as you watched his silhouette shift closer to you in the dark.

He gave you a considering look. “It’s just… I told them something personal and they couldn’t just leave it alone. Honestly, this whole weekend has been sort of a set up.”

You rolled over to look at him properly as everything began to fall into place. Frank and Gerard’s insistence that you should stay the night, Frank’s “clumsiness,” Gerard’s helpful suggestions, the general feeling that something was going on behind the scenes…

“Oh,” you said, hoping he would confirm your suspicions, “what do you mean?”

“Well, it’s just that,” for a moment, it seemed like the endearing shyness of the Mikey you had met in Gerard’s basement was back. “Okay, like.” He took a steadying breath. “I’m working on building my confidence, so I’m gonna tell you this and hope for this best. I’ve… had a thing for you for a while, if it wasn’t already obvious. I mean, at first, it was just a crush… but as the years went on, and I- we grew up, I’ve realized it’s more than that. I know I’m still working on being stable, but I want to take that chance with you. I mean, if you feel the same way of course.” He paused. “Wow, that was a weight off my chest.”

You stared at him, opening your mouth to speak and then closing it as you parsed your thoughts. You had always felt a certain fondness for Mikey, and the past day had shown you that, over the course of a few years, it had grown into something more than friendship. You couldn’t deny that you also had feelings towards Mikey, and that seeing his new-found confidence and sense of self had only solidified them.

“Um, you’re not like, pissed, are you?”

His timid question snapped you out of your reverie.

“No, of course not!” you rushed to assure him. “I… I feel the same way, Mikey. I think I always have.”

“Oh!” He couldn’t keep the small grin off of his face. “So then I guess you don’t mind if I do this then, right?” He moved in closer to you and wrapped his free arm around your waist, effectively pulling you into his chest.

You smiled, warm with the feeling that things had finally fallen into place. “Good guess,” you sighed, already beginning to fall asleep.

“One more thing,” Mikey paused.

“Hm?”

“Under no circumstances can the others know that their evil plan worked.” “Deal.”

[willowistic22]

Red (Redfinch)

Despite their breakup, Albert still wanted to go see Finch perform in one of his concerts when Race asked him if he wanted to come. This is the perfect chance for them to talk things out again but words aren’t cooperating for either of them. With that, Finch decides to triy a different form of communication.

Words : 5233

Part : -

Warnings : Alcohol, cursing, cigarettes, angst in general

A/N : Woah that’s a crazy word count uhh,,,, hi i’m back with another fic. Another redfinch and for that we stan lol (well idk maybe yall are annoyed by all these redfinch fics but yknow what? i’m thriving off of it) But fr I’ll eventually get into writing other ships but for now have one more redfinch combined with another tswift songs (as you do) this time with Red. Wow we are so surprised who would have thought of redfinch being associated with the song red no we aren’t surprise :D This one specifically exists in my bandsies au. you don’t need to read that first to understand this (i think?) but it wouldn’t hurt if you checked that out as well:) Tbh i can’t decide whether i love it or hate it but at least i like it enough to post it. N ee wayysss enjoy!!

His brain is screaming about how much Albert shouldn’t be doing this. Comprising a list of cons that goes on forever. And although he thinks all of the cons his brain had written is logical, that one pro his heart wrote beside the long list was all it took for Al to say yes. All the cons will be worth suffering through if he finally gets to see Finch again. And maybe it’s for the better since he’s not doing well by distancing himself from the boy.

Unfortunately, the world isn’t black and white. Meaning that even if he did choose to follow what his heart wants, all the horrible feelings will still be there. And with every step he takes, inching closer to the entrance of the building, he’s getting even more terrified by the second. Thankfully, the line for the entrance is going pretty slow which gives time for Albert to calm down.

But it’s not helping. The line is crowded and full of fans, talking excitedly about the band’s awaiting concert inside. For some odd reason, he can only hear the conversations between fans that contain one specific name. He doesn’t hear anyone mentioning Romeo, Elmer, or Jojo’s name. Not even Crutchie, who he’s been told to be the fans’ favorite. Just the name Finch, being repeated all around him. With adoration and excitement lacing the name. The line is delaying the inevitable and the people around him makes him a bit overwhelmed.

“We can still turn around if you want. I’m sure they’ll find a way to give us a refund”

If he’s actually being honest, it was his best friend that got him to come. Race returned to their shared apartment a few weeks ago and rushed to ask Albert if he wanted to go see their friends performing tonight. Race knows about Al and Finch’s break up but it’s worth asking him first. And to his surprise, he said yes.

“No, it’s fine” Albert replied, “I’m fine”

“You’re picking your pimples right now”

“So?”

“It’s one of your nervous habits”

That piece of information really caught Al off guard. He didn’t think a tiny random fact about himself would actually corner him the way Race is doing now. Eyeing Albert through his glasses and raising his eyebrows despite his forehead being mostly covered by his beanie.

“Well… I-” Albert tried to come up with bullshit as fast as he could, “I like to do it on purpose too, alright?! My fingers just... get a little itchy!”

He slowly puts his hands down from previously reaching up to pick his face. And the line is still going slow, one step at a time. It’s not doing any favors for Al.

“Dude, it’s alright if you’re not ready to see him” Race continued, “It takes time, I get it”

“Race, I’ll be fine! How many more times do I have to tell you?” Albert argued, which finally made Race back down. And to make sure it’s no longer gonna be brought up, Al changes the subject, “By the way, where’s Specs and Mike? You said they’re watching too”

“They’re already backstage with the others for...  obvious reasons” Race answered casually, catching on to Albert's intentions to change the subject. “So is Kath, by the way. We’ll meet her in there though”

To that, Albert simply nods. His jittery movements turn into rocking his body on the ball of his feet while digging his lips with his teeth. Race tries to pretend he doesn’t notice, but he does. Albert knows he does. Although he’s glad he’s not bringing it up because it might make it worse.

He’d be lucky to know that he’s not the only one panicking over this. In the dressing room, an aggravated Finch throws his phone to the cushion of the couch after sending the last text to his friend Race. It sounds unlawful for Race to be ‘secretly updating’ Finch on how Albert is actually doing because it’s obviously something Albert doesn’t want to directly tell his ex.

Finch groans, placing his elbow on his armchair to support his head. The room is spinning in his view and he wishes it all to stop. Taking deep and long breaths to stabilize his shaky limbs. A little prayer starts playing in his heart, it follows the tempo of his fast heartbeat.

“He’s here, isn’t he?”

Finch opens his eyes and looks up to meet his bandmate sitting on the couch across from him. He hadn’t even been talking for a good hour because he’s too fixated with the first text Race sent him when he and Al first started making their way to the concert.

“Yeah, he’s in line” Finch replied, looking up to the blond boy who’s holding his bass.

“How are they not being mobbed?” Another voice rang. This time it’s not coming from one of Finch’s bandmates. It’s coming from Race and Albert’s bandmate, sitting next to the shortest member of Finch’s band on the couch.

Specs only ask that because their two bands have a long connecting history and their fanbase tends to be sort of the same in a way. With Specs dating Romeo and Mike dating Jojo, Race and Albert are bound to be recognized and mobbed by at least a few fans. Especially seeing that Albert is Finch’s former lover, although the fans know that as a rumor since the two never publicly addressed it.

“I’m assuming they’re wearing a lot of shit to cover their faces” Another answered, the other VIP of the show alongside Specs, Mike. He’s twirling his drink in his hand while the other keeps Jojo cuddled close to him, “I mean, Al’s head is really fucking bright!”

With the mention of that specific name, Finch sulks back in his armchair with a groan. He covers his face with his hands, hoping it’d make the world just stop for one second. He could hear a loud clean slap echoing the room, followed by overlaps of whispered scolding. If he had to guess, it was Mike who was the one getting slapped and scolded.

“This is a disaster…” Finch exclaimed to himself, still not lifting his face up.

“It doesn’t have to be unless you make it like that” this time a feminine voice spoke up. A voice he recognized to belong to Kath.

Finch hears footsteps approaching him. He feels the motion of someone softly kneeling down in front of him. His hands were gently pried open and he was met with Kath’s friendly smile.

“It takes time, but you gotta trust the process”

It’s not necessarily the words he needed to hear right now, but it still warms his heart to hear his friend still being there for him despite the sticky situation he has gotten them into.

Everything would’ve been just fine if Finch hadn’t been so pushy and upset over Albert’s decision. He was the one that decided to put his music career on hold to go get that engineering degree, which frankly seems pretty useless. Finch was so dirty for pulling the ‘you’re being selfish’ card at him when it’s not even his band at all. Race, Specs, Mike, Ike, and even their manager Denton were very supportive about his decision to get that degree. Heck, all their friends were! But not Finch. His boyfriend at the time. He argued like he secretly knew how the others felt about Al leaving when really there aren’t any secret feelings for him to know. All his arguments came from his own feelings.

However, he knows Albert’s ‘own decision’ was secretly coated by his father’s persuasive words. The whole ‘just in case the music career doesn’t work out’ argument was basically the copy and pasted words from his father. They both know it. Despite the arguments, it still seemed that Al was determined to fully focus on college anyways. Instead of following his fellow musician friends’ college path by getting a degree in the non-lecture-hall way, he followed his father’s words and actually attended his college classes in a proper campus.

In the moment, Finch was just too focused on Albert leaving. Maybe he was the one being selfish. He had only realize now that most of his arguments were because he didn’t want Albert to go. It’s too late now, since the last time they saw each other was when Al slammed the door of their apartment one last time with all his stuff and a plane ticket to Seattle. At that point, Finch was finally tired of all the arguing and told him that if this was his plan then he’s on his own.

The tears that came after were filled with sorrow and regret. Sorrowful because he missed him. Regretful because he only realized then that there was no valid reason for Finch to lash out in the first place other than for his own needs. The feeling is still present to this moment. And it’s currently the strongest right before a show because he knows he’s gonna be in the crowd.

“Look, we’ll let ya drown out your feelings with some booze later” Crutchie finally said, “But right now we got a show”

The band was all getting up from where they were seated, bringing whatever they needed to the stage. Crutchie gets some help from Jojo to bring his Bass till he properly sits on the stool on stage. But Finch stays perfectly still, holding Kath’s hand as if his life depends on it.

“I know I should talk to ‘im, Kath” Finch finally said, slowly joining the others in standing up. Kathrine follows along, eyes still fixed to her friend, “But… I can’t. I wouldn’t know what to say to him”

“Then don’t talk” Mike suddenly inserts himself in their little conversation. He gets up and approaches the two, “Sing him the new single”

“You’re fucking insane, Mike!” Katherine instantly snapped.

“Alright, your mouth will be legally sealed shut till the end of the concert” Specs joins them only to drag Mike away. There were some protests from the boy, but it was totally shut down by everyone else in the room.

“No, wait. He’s got a point” Finch suddenly exclaimed, which quickly got the whole room to freeze in time.

He looks at his bandmates, all standing by the doorway ready to kill the concert. A half confident smile appears on his face and he says, “Let’s sing that single”

-

The concert is held in a bar like-venue with multiple floors, slowly being filled to the brim by excited fans. Their excitement bounces off the walls of the venue, creating an ecstatic kind of environment despite the tight space. The concert is going to start any minute now and while the fans surrounding him are shaking in excitement, Albert is shaking in a nervous fit.

“Still okay there, Al?”

Albert looked to his side, seeing his good friend Kathrine looking up to meet his eyes with concern. She had just joined the boys in the midst of the crowd after hanging out behind the stage with the band.

“What? Yeah, I’m okay” He replied, “What makes you think I’m not?”

“You’re squeezing my hand a little too tight”

Al had only realized he’s been holding Kath’s hand just now. His brain was too focused on his fears about meeting Finch again to the point that he hasn’t been paying attention to his surroundings. He gets bashful all of a sudden, cheeks going a bit warm, harshly pulling away from her grasp.

“It’s okay, you can hold my hand if you want,” Katherine said gently.

“Kath, I’m fine!” Albert said, “Why won’t you and Race believe me?”

“Because we know it’s utter bullshit”

The pair looked back towards the crowd behind them where the familiar voice originated from. There, Race struggles through a sea of people with two drinks in hand. Oddly enough, he still seems to stand the heat despite still wearing his face disguise. A white cotton mask, black-framed glasses, and a grey beanie mostly providing cover for his blond curls. While Al, seeing that the venue is pretty dark and speculations has led him to believe that the fans would be focused on the concert rather than the people attending it, had already put away his mask. However, his fears still made him wear his snapback and grey-framed glasses just in case.

Albert takes his rightful drink, and with a free hand, Race takes off his own mask and stuffs it in his pockets. He complains about the stuffiness from wearing the mask all while doing so, which made Kath laugh. It appears the Albert-scolding has been forgotten for the time being, as Kath and Race starts engaging in their own conversation, which Al doesn’t mind because he’d much like to down his beer quickly.

And then the concert finally starts.

An exciting intro starts playing as the band enters the stage. The wild crowd welcoming the band is deafening to Albert’s ear. Time freezes and everything in between fades away. All he sees is Finch, up on stage wearing a smile brighter than the lighting of the venue itself. He’s using his old dark green guitar. The same one he uses when he’s writing songs in bed or when he just feels like strumming the strings. Albert remembers the memoirs of all the guitar string scars he had earned throughout the years of knowing him. Some of them were even caused by Albert himself.

Lucky that Finch hasn’t noticed Albert has been staring at him the whole time. He hasn’t taken his eyes off of the boy since the start of the first song, shimmering under the spotlight with amazing vocals. Laughing about at his fellow bandmates’ antics on stage. Oh, that laugh. It gives him butterflies in his stomach like it was the first time hearing it.

He can feel two pairs of familiar eyes on him. But he’s too far gone to care. Albert really did make a big mistake for letting Finch go that easy. Because at the end of his previous college days, he still loves him and misses him dearly. His little Finchy. It doesn’t matter to Al anymore if Race and Katherine are eyeing him with sorrow or the whole world were to look at him weirdly for fixating his own eyes towards the beautiful boy on stage. He was his beautiful boy. Good lord, does he long to see the days when he got to call Finch his.

“Holy shit, I fucked up” Albert muttered under his breath, only Kath and Race could hear it, “I should’ve never had left”

His friends were definitely not expecting Albert to verbally exclaim his regret. They already knew from the start despite the redhead’s previous denials. But hearing him say it just makes it all more real. Even Albert himself was hit by a truck of reality just by loudly announcing it.

“Well, now you know” Katherine started, gentle voice on the same volume as his own despite the volume of their current surroundings being incredibly loud, “Go tell him that after the show”

“I can’t. I shouldn’t” Albert replied, fully turning away from the stage to properly look at his friends. A glint of sorrow and desperation flashes before his face, “I might make things worse!”

“Well, you’ll never know till you try” Race said, sounding a little hesitant at the start. He offered a warm smile at his friend and a hand on his shoulder, since there isn’t much he could do in the moment.

With a heavy sigh, Albert turns back towards the stage only to witness the biggest surprise of his life. Finch looked back. Straight into Albert’s eyes, it pierced right through to get his heart thumping loudly in his ears. He just realized the song the band was previously playing had ended and they were waiting for the fans to quiet down. While Romeo playfully over-dramatize his thank you’s to the crowd and gets scolded by Elmer and Crutchie, Finch was continuously staring at Albert. The hands that were previously used to play with his guitar hang idly because his center of attention wasn’t at his instrument right now.

It might just be some form of hallucination Al retained from the high, but Finch seemed to be smiling at him a little. Just a little curve at the end of his lips while he’s still staring back.

Albert doesn’t know how to interpret this other than to just stare back. Deep down, his heart is flipping in all kinds of ways and his thought process is no longer comprehensible. He’s trying to read the other boy’s emotions but it’s too neutral to tell. Other than the fact that he’s smiling a little at him but that still doesn’t give him a proper answer.

Eventually Finch becomes the first one to look away, seeing that the audience had settled down for the band. Albert’s eyes were still glued to Finch, retaining his focus back to the concert. He opens his mouth for a moment to say something into his microphone, although he unexpectedly stopped. The flow of words seemed to cut short. He saved himself by pulling himself away from the microphone up front and towards the rest of his bandmates. Judging from the body language, they seem to be whispering.

“What’s happening?” Albert whispered, more to himself rather than to his friends.

“I’m not sure…” Race replied, taking a step closer to where Al is standing.

The band kept the discussion short and quickly got back to their places. Finch seems to hesitate the second time he opens his mouth to speak. But this time, he gets the words out.

“Uhh… sorry ‘bout that. I uhh… I just got the urge to go a bit out of our fixed setlist and uhh… hope you guys don’t mind” Finch explained with a little giggle at the end. The crowd couldn’t care less and cheered on. Finch smile widens at the agreement, “We thought we’d give ya an early access to our newest single that hasn’t been released yet”

A euphoric feeling passed through the crowd as the cheering got louder. It baffled Finch so much that he laughed into his mic.

“Oh my god, they’re actually doing it” Katherine commented under her breath.

But Al’s ears were sharp enough to catch it. He snaps his head around to face the girl behind him, “Do what?”

Katherine was rendered speechless to that question, despite obviously knowing what’s going on. Albert turns to Race but he has no idea. He finally turns back to the stage where Finch’s gaze was already waiting to be returned by Al himself.

Without breaking the gaze, Finch speaks into the mic with a little smile, “It’s called ‘Red’”

It was Albert’s turn to be speechless. He had no knowledge of a new single since he’s mostly been staying away from his ex’s social media for the sole purpose of moving on, which he had failed miserably. And none of his friends had told him anything about a single that’s title was a secret language only Finch and Albert share, littered with all sorts of vintage romance.

“Holy shit…” Race exclaimed, “...I had no idea they were gonna play this song”

The opening of the song starts with Jojo lightly plucking a few strings of his acoustic guitar. The crowd goes wild once again, energy bouncing off one wall to the other.

“Loving him is like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street

Faster than the wind, passionate as sin, ending so suddenly”

Crutchie sang the first line smoothly. At this point the other’s had joined in with their instrument. Finch fully ignoring the crowd and focused on looking at Al. Those blue eyes are trying to send a message to Albert and it’s being coded with the song they’re currently playing.

The song had carried on till it reached the chorus. All the instruments peaked at that moment and collaborated with each other to create a very euphoric sound. The crowd jumps along to the beat of the song along with a loud cheering, obviously enjoying the tune they have yet to listen to. Some were holding up cameras to capture this moment, most likely to later share it with the fans that didn’t get the chance to witness it live.

At this point, Finch had turned his face away from Al. There was a troubling look in his expression but it was quickly covered by closing his eyes as if he’s trying to concentrate on singing the chorus with the others. But Al is no fool. He knows that look on Finch’s face is when he’s trying to avoid something, and that something is him.

“Losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know

Somebody you never met

But loving him was red”

The words moved something in Al. It was written in a way Albert recognized it to be Finch’s writing style. Every single part of the song. From the melody, the chord progression, even the lyrics. Especially the lyrics.

“Fighting with him was like trying to solve a crossword

And realizing there's no right answer

Regretting him was like wishing you never found out

That love could be that strong”

As Finch harmonized that line with Jojo, he stole a little sad side glance at Albert. The song returns to the chorus once again, Finch gets dragged with the beat and lightly moves his body along.

Albert gets captivated along with the music. He can feel the corner of his lips slightly rising up, which is pretty ironic seeing that Finch is singing a breakup song about them. Maybe because he’s relieved to hear Finch sing about how he’s not fully over him. Or maybe it’s because he gets to see Finch embracing the break up, which could potentially mean that he’s okay with it. But whatever it is, he’s happy seeing Finch like this. Or just seeing him in general.

“Remembering him comes in flashbacks and echoes

Tell myself it's time now gotta let go

But moving on from him is impossible

When I still see it all in my head”

The chord progression’s pattern slightly changed. Finch sings his line into the microphone, closing his eyes as if to soak up all the intoxicating energy he gets from the crowd. Of people flailing their hands into the sky and a loud chorus of undecipherable shouting. But at the last line, he steals a proper glance back at Albert.

“In burning red”

The lyrics really says it all. There’s no more hidden message that Albert needs to decipher, as it's being presented right in front of him.

Finch takes over the next part of the song, shredding his guitar which makes the crowd go wild. At the moment, it looks like he’s feeling himself. Moving along with the motion of his fingers that creates each note.

“Oh, losing him was blue, like I'd never known

Missing him was dark gray, all alone

Forgetting him was like trying to know

Somebody you never met

'Cause loving him was red”

The song is supposed to be a punch to Albert’s guts, and yet he finds himself laughing at it. He catches a glimpse of Finch’s eyes, sneaking its way to look back at Albert every so often. And this time, he wears a smile while jumping along to the song. And it made Al smile back.

“His love was like driving a new Maserati down a dead end street”

As the song ended, the fans went wild. The look on Finch’s face seems satisfied at the success of the single they have yet been released to the world, shining at the sight of a hype crowd. He steals one last glance at Albert with a little smile on his face. Albert would dare to say he’s being a bit shy. To that, Albert smiles back with a disbelief laugh escaping his lips before Finch pulls his gaze away from the other boy.

After playing a few more songs, the concert ended. There was only one thing in Albert’s mind, which was talking to Finch. Race and Albert quickly put their disguise back on before the crowd had realized who they were as they exited the venue. The three stay behind as the venue gets emptied, Race and Katherine making quick work with their fingers on their phones to contact their friends backstage.

Jojo was the first to respond to either of them. He said that Finch is smoking behind the venue alone. One could only assume that he’s not in his best state after spontaneously choosing to sing that single. But Jojo assured them that he’s still good to talk to. Crutchie then responded, saying that Specs and Mike can pick them up to get them into the backstage.

It didn’t take them long, but Albert wasn’t keen on seeing the others right now. After being pointed towards the back door, Albert was already off. Adrenaline coursing through his veins as he makes quick steps towards it.

He gently opens the door, to avoid surprising the boy in case he was nearby. Albert steps out to a parking lot, open-spaced with another parking lot above it as its roof. At a first glance it was completely empty, only a few lights turned on to keep the area lit. His eyes gandered even further and spotted the boy he was looking for, back facing Al and his body leaning on metal bars as he enjoyed the nightlife of the city.

Albert took a deep breath to calm his adrenaline, slowing down his walking pace. The area is eerily quiet. Only a few things that can be heard: his footsteps, his thumping heart, and the sounds coming from the streets three stories below them. With every step closer, he slowly unraveled his makeshift disguise. Shoving his mask and glasses in the pockets of his jeans but left the snapback on.

“‘Loving him was red’” Albert said to catch Finch’s attention, “Did you mean it to be that obvious?”

Finch didn’t fully turn his head around, only halfway so Al can see the little grin of amusement forming on his face. A little chuckle escaped his lips, causing his chest to pulse along before he continued, “Not really. But it has a nice ring to it”

Albert takes a few steps closer towards the metal bars, leaning his body on it like what Finch is doing. Now he can clearly see the half burnt cigarette on Finch’s hand. Al tries to make eye contact with him, but Finch is purposely turning his head the other way and giving Albert his head full of blond curls.

“You came back” Finch suddenly said, voice hushed and low.

“Of course I came back” Albert replied, “You didn’t think I’d fully leave like that, did’ja?”

“Well, no. It’s just that you seemed so hellbent on going to college”

Albert slowly nods at that, moving his gaze towards the streets below like the other boy. They sit in the silence for a few minutes. Hearing different vehicles pass by the street below them and honking from the distance.

“Finch, I’m so sorry I left ya like that” Albert suddenly started, fully turning his face towards him. He couldn’t find a way to word it and so he resorted to just telling him the truth. Finch stays quiet to let him continue, “I was an idiot to let ya go that easily and all because I was selfish”

“You weren’t actually being selfish” Finch said, smiling a little at his words, “You did it because you wanted to. And it wasn’t hurting anyone anyways”

“It did. It hurt you”

Finch turns his head towards Albert. Now their eyes are looking into each other closer than before. The closest they’ve ever been since their breakup. A mixture of unsaid emotions made the gaze feel so intimate and it terrifies Al a bit. 

“I hurt myself trying to get you to stay” Finch said softly. His next words got stuck in his throat. He gives his brain a few seconds to focus with a sigh out of his mouth and dragging his gaze away from Al, “I knew you never wanted to get that engineering degree in the first place which is another reason I didn’t want you to go. But at the end of the day, it was your decision to make and not mine. I lashed out on you and said you were selfish but… I was the one that was being selfish”

Finch turns his eyes back towards Al, his face looks more sorrowful than before, “I’m sorry”

A small smile formed on Al’s face, tilting his head to the side by a few inches, “It ain’t your fault for knowing me more than I know myself”

They leave the conversation at that for the time being. Letting the streets below fill the void of their silence. Both boys focusing their gaze towards the view they got from this height they’re on again. Finch and Albert left speechless at each other’s words.

Albert’s hands unconsciously reach up to his forehead, itching to pick a pimple like earlier. His next words almost got stuck in his throat but he was able to pull through just enough to get to his point, “Well, at the end of the day we uhh… we both fucked up. Fucked our relationship, that’s for sure-”

“Stop picking on your pimples, Al” Finch casually said. The surprise look on Al’s face got Finch to side eye him with a giggle.

Al pulled his fingers away, stuttering in his movements but still continued on his words with more confidence, “What I’m trying to say is… I want to try again as long as you’re willing to”

There was a good few seconds of silence that Finch used to just stare at him. Albert could only wonder what he’s thinking about inside that head, “So we just… what? Forget the breakup ever happened? Move back in together? You know I can’t just do that, right?”

“That’s not what I mean. We don’t need to rush things. I know you can’t do that” Albert said, “Just… let me start by making it up to you? Whatever you want. Just name it”

Finch didn’t respond instantly, letting the silence between them linger for a few more minutes. But it’s deeply agonizing to Albert’s ears. A blank space of two eyes locked in a gaze, and one is obviously dying to get out of it.

“Please, say something” Albert begged. Hands suddenly reaching back up to his face to pick on his pimples again.

With a free hand, Finch reaches towards Al’s hand on his face. He pulls it down to the bars, holding it in place to make sure it doesn’t repeat its mistakes again. The grip was firm, but warm and calming to Albert’s soul. It made him go blank for a good few seconds from being so touch deprived of Finch’s soft hands. He retains his sense of reality when their eyes finally meet again.

With a little smile forming on Finch’s face, he finally answers, “I’d like that very much”

[anlian-aishang]

*casually slips from your ao3 into your tumblr* Hiya! I'm a sucker for Punk!Levi, but all the fics i've ever found out there are with Punk!Levi vs sweet innocent preppy reader etc etc Could a goth/rock (yet tattooless) girl over here get some Punk!Levi love please?🥺Preferably nsfw at some point,if you want any details i could elaborate on settings and stuff ,but i love your writing so much and i trust you to just go to town with it:') Thank you so much in advance love,hope you're well!

Special shoutout to @nefelimalfoy for holding my hand and introducing me to this trope. I would be clueless without her. This is my first punk try, but I have definitely been sucked in! I can’t wait to write it again in the future! I hope you enjoy, love 🖤 

Word count: 3000  Tags: smut, modern AU, fem!reader

Secrets I have held in my heart Are harder to hide than I thought

No matter who you were, no matter how many times you had done it, performing in front of a crowd was always a rush. 

For Levi, each show came with an extra buzz. He never discounted his luck of success in this industry, but he also never took his backup for granted. The incredible musician you were, each song by your side reminded him: he was fortunate to have snatched you up into his band. After years of touring together, his feelings for you still intensified each night.

Tonight was no different. 

After such a great show, hours of performing by your side, he was looking forward to spending time alone with you. To his dismay, you were somehow able to sneak away from the aftershow early. Watching you head off for the crowd, longing to join you, he still could not help but love his view from behind. Tight leather skirt bounced up a little high. Fishnet stockings the only cover of your lower cheeks and upper thighs. Tall black boots perfectly clung to the curves of your calves. She’s the entire package.

As all his attention drifted from his fans to his backup, guests became jealous of his obvious crush. As with most things in life, however, he did not give a shit. When it came to how others felt about him, there was only one person whose opinion actually mattered.

After the last of hastily signed autographs, Levi wasted no more time with the fans. He wanted, needed, to find you.

// // //

At last, he did. 

First, he searched backstage, only finding your other bandmates, all of whom also had no idea where you were. The ride was still parked out back, you were not there, you could not be at the hotel either. 

Deviant little thing must have wandered off. Levi begrudgingly made for the mob. The damp and sweaty environment of clubs, he never got used to it in his years as a musician. He waded his way through a sea of fans. As they threw themselves onto him, he ignored every one of them, only in search of you. 

After shoving girls off of him for what felt like years, he was disappointed to find you attached to some random guy in the mob. In fact, disappointment was an understatement.

Levi clenched his teeth, looking up through dark bangs, “Meet and greets are over.” 

The drunkard did not seem to recognize the lead singer, blatantly ignoring his authority. “Hah. I don’t have to pay to see her. She wants me here.” The fan maintained eye contact with your lead as he lowered a hand to your hip, tugging you into his side. 

Tch… idiot. This fanboy was lingering a little too close to you for a little too long.

Ignoring Levi’s trademark glare, he bantered on, “Listen, shorty. She’s a big girl, she can make her own decisions, even if you don’t like them.” He rubbed a sweaty palm up and down your side, drawing an uncomfortable grimace from you.  

That’s it. One hand was soft in holding you in place. The other hand roughly shoved that asshat off of you and to the floor. A swift kick of his boot knocked out some teeth, keeping him silent and in place while also drawing gasps and stares from the entire venue. 

It was all he could take for one night. Lined eyes met yours, “Come on, let’s get outta here.”

// // //

Levi held a fierce grip of your wrist as he snuck you out the backdoors.

Instead of the tour bus, he took you back to the hotel on his motorbike. The brisk wind from air resistance was not the only reason for your chills. Leather jacket was sweet and rough against your skin. Arms around his abs, you could feel the muscles underneath those layers. Head against his shoulders, concert smells of booze and drugs were masked by his clean cologne. As romantic as the ride was, you felt you knew exactly the punishment that was waiting for you back at the hotel.

Each time a fan got too eager, he was quick to crack down on you. You’re a star, don’t you know that? Act like you’re worth something. Stop giving yourself away to these fuckin’ losers. He had scolded you countless times.

As soon as you dismounted his bike and took your body off his, he quickly revived the contact with a tight hold of your hand. Fingers intertwined with yours. If not so preoccupied by the upcoming discipline, you would have noted: it was the first time he ever held your hand.

He hurriedly dragged you to his hotel room. Without turning the lights on, he slammed the door behind you and gave a stern glare. Fuck. Here we go again.

When he opened his mouth, you cut him off in defense, “Yeah, I get it… it makes us look bad, too accessible, not exclusive, whatever! I get it. Okay!?…” 

Levi knit his brows. It was not that. That reason he had always used, that it was bad for the band or whatever, it was always just a coverup. The guise he had used in protecting his feelings for you, he would have to abandon it and just tell the truth. “No, brat.” 

Huh? 

After countless reruns of this act, you thought you had the scene figured out. Little did you know, the night ahead was not a lecture, but it was indeed a punishment.

// // //

Levi brought a gloved hand to the back of your neck and tugged your ear to his lips, “It’s that I can’t fucking take it.”

A hand around your neck was already an adrenaline rush, but something about those silver rings, that spiked bracelet, and the fact that it was your lead singer Levi gave an unbelievable thrill. Fingers caressed your neck perfectly around the barbs of your choker, as if he knew it like the back of his hand, both squeezing and tickling. Eyes bore into you, just long enough to make you think, before bringing you into a deep and unexpected kiss.

No point in slow build-up, he had been doing that for years, Levi ate at you like you were the last thing on Earth. Looped piercings in his lip tugged yours. Metal stud in his tongue clanged against your teeth. Hot soft tongue was the perfect contrast to his cold hard jewelry. The stark opposites made for a blend of pain and pleasure. A blend only I can give her.

You never imagined yourself to fall into that stereotype: the female musician who sleeps with the male lead, but goddamn, if it doesn’t feel good… You could not help yourself. All at once, you gave in. All too clearly, you realized the fantasy you were living out. The dream that countless girls would kill for, you were in it. Not making the most of this opportunity, it would be an injustice to everyone. 

You kissed him back - hard. Your tongue moved with a mind of its own, dancing with his in between licks of his teeth. Sneaky fingers snaked underneath his shirt, lifting it up by the hem. You had seen him shirtless countless times, a typical crowd-pleaser at concerts, but never in such an intimate setting. This close and personal, in lieu of strobes and smoke, you could notice each and every fascinating detail in his tattoos, in his muscle, in him.  

Your eager response to advances was more than a pleasant surprise. His calm and collected nature, however, resisted the urge to cave in. A string of saliva stretched as he pulled from the kiss, “Hmph, a bad girl are we?” 

He had called you that plenty of times before. But now that you knew his true feelings, all those prior incidents were given new significance. Just the idea that he had been flirting with you all along, you felt your panties dampening already.

You bit your lip, “Maybe I am.” 

When you snickered, he dove right back in, hungrier than before. This time, instead of your lips, he scraped his teeth along your jawline. He made a fist in your hair and pulled your head to the side, allowing himself to leave love marks all along your neck. The reddening bruises and bites drew riled gasps from you. Music to his ears. Your singing voice was sexy, but these vocals were something else. 

Between nips and licks, he exhaled against your neck, “Mmm… relax, sweetheart.” He heightened his pitch, “I haven’t even started yet.”

He had waited far too long for this. Multiple tours, countless concerts, you were absolutely irresistible to him through and through. Each time that you shared a dressing room, each time you danced with him on stage, each time you nodded off on his shoulder after a gig, you had unknowingly wrapped him around your finger. His vision… now that I’m finally living it…, excited erection already leaking in his pants, Oh, fuck me... 

At last, he had this chance. He had to make you all his: tell the world and remind you that you belonged to him and him alone. The image of you, covered in his marks, on display for everyone who oggled you, it was giving him an entirely new feeling: an intense mixture of pride, lust, vanity, jealousy, even more indescribable emotions… 

There was only one way to take it out.

// // //

After leaving marks all the way down your neck, clavicle, chest, he found himself at the cusp of your corset. The garment daunted him for just a moment before he rapidly tugged the cups beneath your breasts. He was about to stick you into his mouth when a glimmer caught his eye.

Nipple piercings? He never thought you would actually have them and fuck, if he did not like them a lot. He chuckled into you, breath further hardening your nipple, “Naughty little thing…”

You opened your mouth to retort, but a sudden clamp of his teeth prohibited any words and allowed only gasps.

“Oh, fuck!” Cold metal of his tongue was the polar opposite to your warm nipple. Sensation nothing short of amazing.

You sounded amazing too. Sharp inhales encouraged him to bite and lick even harder. His mouth played with your right nipple. Left hand pinched the other. Right hand snuck underneath your skirt. Fingers woven into your fishnets squeezed your delightful ass. He was using his entire body to play with yours. All of him, all of his attention, was absolutely overwhelming. You threw your head back and moaned.

And that - your desperate exertion - forced an end to the foreplay, it was the last he could take. He grabbed you by the shoulders and spun you around. A rough grasp of the back of your neck shoved you face down onto the bed. Hungry hands hiked your skirt up past your hips. As you heaved against the sheets, he allowed himself a moment to take in your sorry state. Stockings held up by garter belts. Panties bunched in between your folds. Curves accentuated by your sexy mess of an outfit. A hell of a view, he punished it with a spank.

He pressed his full front to your back, muscular abs meeting your curves from behind. Hand in your hair yanked your head up off the mattress, allowing him to snarl right into your ear, “Do you know how long I’ve been waiting for this?” 

A harsh slap of your ass resonated throughout the room, sound bouncing off the walls. Holy fuck. 

“How long...” Voice grew angrier. “How long I’ve watched you flirt with fucking lowlifes right in front of my eyes?”

When you whimpered in whiplash, he denied any sympathy. Unsettling. “Answer me, baby.” 

There was no way to answer him. With his relentless spanking and hair-pulling, your brain could not formulate - mouth could not speak - any words. You could only cry out desperately. He was shameless in savoring it. 

A low chuckle, “Speechless, huh?” 

“L - Levi…” Another spank. “Ahh! It - It…!” Stings, hurts, burns…

“Feels good?”

That too.

When you nodded against the bed, he snickered, “It’s about to feel even better, sweetheart.” Better than anyone else can make you feel.

With a firm palm still at your nape, he used his other hand to undress you both. First, he unbuckled his belt and tore it out from under the loops. Next, he pulled the waistbands of his underwear and skinny jeans down, just enough to free his sprung member. Finally, he yanked your panties down to your ankles, forcing his gaze below. Only now did he realize: both of you still had your thick black boots on, legs covered by tight stockings and black pants respectively. His dick dripping so much precum, harder than ever before, he barely recognized himself. A low chuckle sent chills down your spine, your shivering easily noticed.  

There was no one more overprotective of you than Levi. No one was quicker to come to your aid and shove boys off of you. You always felt safe in his presence, yet, the nerves were undeniable now. Suspense in your eyes, you turned back to your partner. 

When he toyed with you earlier, you assumed he was cool and collected. When you laid eyes on him now though, physicality gave clues to his true state. Chest heaved both heavily and rapidly. Even in this darkness, you could still make out the blush in his face. Steel grey eyes attempted to look stern, but you knew him well enough, you were not blind to the glimmer of vulnerability. When he licked and bit down his lips, you wondered if the motion was natural or forced for you. At your seductive sight, he did not know either. 

The stimulation was so much, he could not wait any longer. Shaky hands held his member at your entrance. Breathless, he teased, “Are you ready, baby?”

Mustered up a tinge of courage, you snapped back, “I am. I don’t think you are though, seeing as you’ve been stalling for so long.” Years in fact.

Levi grit his teeth. Tch… you little punk! Without any hesitation, he shoved his throbbing member all the way back into you, you had practically dared him to at this point. Despite arousals aching from anticipation, both of you gasped at the immense sensation. Your dripping wet pussy, his rock solid cock were both too good to each other. A perfect match.

Right after entering, he had already thrown his head back in pleasure. Heart pounded in his chest, but you felt so fucking good, he could not help but start pumping.  

The moment he broke into you was the moment your cheeks started to sting from the spanking. A tingling in your core, a tingling on your skin: perfect timing.

You had always thought that his singing voice could never be beaten, but then there was the dirty talk. Once you accepted that as the best, there was now this god-given blend of low grunts and light gasps. Singing to teasing to breathing. Kissing to foreplay to penetration. He just gets better and better.

“God! Your cunt is so tight and so - and so -” stunned inhales interrupted his sentiment, “so fucking wet.” Voice trailed on the last syllable.

Levi drilled into you so aggressively, your entire body was bouncing on the bed. When your angelic voice shook from the motion, it pushed him to fuck you even harder. 

That telltale feeling - the tickling heat deep inside, the cascading wave of pleasure, the pulsing of your pussy - you knew you were close. Bruised neck, licked nipples, raw cheeks, he had done you just right. With this merciless fucking, he had given you all you could take. 

Sloppy tongue stumbled over his name as eyes rolled back into your head, “L - Le’viii! I’m… I’m...!” 

Through grit teeth, he grumbled, “Tell me!” While he tried to maintain his steadfast dominance, he knew he was getting close too. A pleading gasp, “Tell me, brat!”

Fingers desperately clutched the sheets, “I’m.. gon’na… I’m gonna…! nguhh…”

So fucking close. Command, urgency, begging caused Levi to raise his voice, unknowingly heightening your climax, “Gonna cum, baby?”

“Y - Yes!”

“All over my dick, baby?”

“Heh - yeah!” Your orgasm took over your entire being. Without a second of pause, mouth gasped in repetitions of his name, sighs of pleasure, overstimulated cries, more and more and more of his name.

Little did you know: that was the last bit he not only needed, but could take as well. An impossibly fast pace jerked him to orgasm. He had masturbated to this scene countless times before, but here in the moment, this release was better than all of those combined. 

His warm strands shot far into you, mixing with your own fluids. Climaxing together - the way your walls seized around him, the way his dick pulsed inside you - it was a feeling you both instantly recognized: you would have to chase it again in the future.

However cruel he could be in sex, he cared for you so greatly, practically worshipping the ground you walked on. Completely weak in the knees, he still thought of you first. I’ve worn her out enough. An arm around your back pulled you close as Levi collapsed at your side. 

Faced with each other, both breathless and panting, he brushed flopped hair out of your face and gave a tender kiss. The perfect mix of good guy and bad boy. When you kissed him back, he felt it was all he would ever need, you were all he could ever ask for.

My love, “I should’ve confessed sooner.” 

// masterlist //

[atc74]

It’s Been Awhile

Warnings: Angst, breakup, unresolved conflict, slight fluff, 

Summary: The reader leaves to follow her dreams, but it leaves them both with regrets.

Pairing: Rockstar!Jensen x Reader AU

Word Count: 1931

Written for: @waywardbeanie

Beta’d by: @flamencodiva, thank you! 

A/N: I know it’s been a hot minute since I wrote anything, so I opened requests to a few select people and found some inspiration.Inspired by the prompt in bold, and the song “It’s Been Awhile” by Staind. I hope y’all enjoy it. Feedback is the fuel that keeps me running! 

For the full fan expericene, check out Jensen’s scent? Buy it here from @scentsfromthebunker​!

Y/N and Jensen had been best friends growing up in the suburbs of Dallas. She wanted to be an architect  and he wanted to go into sports medicine. They spent all their free time together, and sang in the church choir on Sundays. Thick as thieves, people would say about the two of them whenever they were together. Jensen was her first friend, her first boyfriend, her first...everything. 

They started college together at the University of Texas, and with the exception of their location, nothing changed. They remained in their own bubble which Jensen nerdly referred to as the Fortress of Solitude. The one place he could be himself, let his guard down, and figure out who he really was. He could do all that with Y/N, or because of her, he wasn’t entirely sure if there was even a difference anymore. 

Their friendship, along with their love, was carefree, and wild. The day road trips turned into weekend escapes where they lost themselves in each other the open plains of their home state. Jensen would bring his guitar everywhere and each day provided new opportunities to be inspired by the landscape and her. When Jensen was with Y/N, he wanted for nothing. From road trips, to study sessions, to candle light frozen dinners. She was all he ever needed.

Just like time, life could stand still, then change in the blink of an eye. Y/N was offered a coveted two year internship. They stayed together, but long distance was hard, long distance relationships were harder. It wasn’t long before daily calls became weekly texts, until they dwindled off completely. Jensen convinced himself if she had wanted him, truly wanted him, she would have stayed to build a life with him. 

Jensen spent most of his time in bars, masking his pain with booze and open mike nights at the college bars. He built walls around him in her absence, and only let himself think about her when he sang the songs she inspired. Despite the haze of alcohol in his system, he never felt more at peace or sober than when he sang of her. 

After she left to pursue her dreams, he never expected to amount to much with Y/N to push him to pursue his own. A writing and recording contract was the last thing he thought he wanted, but maybe, just maybe he thought, this was his chance to get her out of his system by changing direction and abandoning all their plans. She did it when she left him, why couldn’t he?

A string of failed relationships plagued them both as they tried to move on, never finding a suitable match. Flawless memories of a first love set unreachable standards and no one, no matter their intentions, would never measure up. Booze, one night stands, and other methods of self sabotage, were the cornerstones of the walls Y/N and Jensen had constructed.

With each report of Jensen’s success, her walls fortified, terrified to let anything, or anyone in. She stayed away from social media and shut down anyone who dared mention his name to her. 

In every city, state, and country he visited, Jensen could sense her. Her essence surrounded him everywhere he went. The beauty of the landscape, the laughter, it all brought him back to her. It didn’t matter what, or who, he did to block out the memories, she was there. 

His guitar nestled under the crook of his arm was where he truly felt at home, at peace, with her memories flooding his senses. All his transgressions, his mistakes, all that shit disappeared when he escaped into the music with her. He took pen to paper and confessed his regrets to the ghost of her memory. 

Y/N found herself back in Dallas unexpectedly when her grandfather passed away. She hadn’t been home in so long, following her dreams and improving housing around the world. It didn’t escape her attention when the mother tossed the morning paper in front of her, Jensen staring back at her in black and white, from the front page of the entertainment section. She didn’t believe in destiny, she made her own future, but she couldn't help but think this was her grandfather sending her a glaringly obvious sign from beyond the grave. Jensen was performing an acoustic show at the local theater the following night. 

“Grandpa left this for you, baby,” her mother placed an envelope on top of the paper, hiding Jensen’s profile from her view. She carefully opened the crisp white linen envelope seeing her Grandfather’s neat block printing. 

Enclosed with the note was a ticket to Jensen’s show and a backstage pass. She knew better than to question, her grandfather always did work in mysterious ways, and he had never let her down. She wasn’t about to let him down now, despite her trepidation over seeing the love of her life again, she owed it to her grandfather to follow his dying wish. 

Jensen had requested darkness for his final song. He sat alone on the stage, surrounded only by a dozen candles, silhouetting him against the dark curtain behind him. He couldn’t see the faces of the people who had paid to see him, but he wasn’t there for them. He was there for her, and her alone, even if she wasn’t in the building, he was always there in his heart. 

It's been awhile

Since I couldn't

Hold my head up high

And it's been awhile

Since I first saw you

And it's been awhile

Since I could stand

On my own two feet again

And it's been awhile

Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember

As fucked up as it all may seem

The consequences that are rendered

I stretch myself beyond my means

Time is a funny thing when you think about it. Days past slowly, while the year flies and in the blink of an eye, a decade has gone by and all Y/N can think of is how did she let it go this far? How did she let him get this far from her. 

As she silently watched Jensen perform, tears streaming down her face, she couldn’t help but think, this wasn’t the man she remembered; this man was broken. And she blamed herself. If she hadn’t left, if she hadn’t put her dreams in front of their own, would he still be broken? Would she? She was responsible for both of them, for their regrets were driven by her actions. Despite the time that had passed, he still knew how to each nerve with her, all the while blaming himself, just like she blamed herself. 

And it's been awhile

Since I could say

That I wasn't addicted

It's been awhile

Since I could say

I loved myself as well

And it's been awhile

Since I've gone and

Fucked things up

Just like I always do

And it's been awhile

But all that shit

Seems to disappear

When I'm with you

Her heart jumped in her chest, lodging itself in her throat and making it hard to breathe. Could he be singing about her? The possibility that he could still love her after all this time brought fresh tears to her eyes. She knew how she felt for him, although she denied her emotions on a daily basis, but if there was a minute chance, she knew she had to go for it. 

And everything I can remember

As fucked up as it all may seem

The consequences that I have rendered

Have gone and fucked things up again

 Why must I feel this way?

Just make this go away

Just one more peaceful day

 It's been awhile

Since I couldn't

Look at myself straight

And it's been awhile

Since I said, "I'm sorry"

And it's been awhile

Since I've seen the way

The candles light your face

And it's been awhile

But I can still remember

Just the way you taste

And everything I can remember

As fucked up 

As it all may seem to be

I know it's me

I cannot blame this on my father

He did the best he could for me

It's been awhile

Since I could

Hold my head up high

And it's been awhile

Since I said, "I'm sorry"

“Thank you.” Jensen murmured two short words before exiting the stage. He pushed through the throngs of people waiting for him backstage, needing the quiet solace of his dressing room before the short meet and greet. He needed a few moments to pull himself together, to collect his thoughts. 

He had never performed that song in front of anyone before tonight. Not a soul on earth had heard that song, not even his band. He was overwhelmed with the emotion it pulled from him, even if he had written it. He wanted nothing more than to be able to play that for her, to express everything he felt, but couldn’t tell her for the last ten years. 

He entered the meet and greet room after he felt calm enough to leave his dressing room. He silently thanked his manager and the venue for keeping the affair small, only allowing ten people in that night, he knew he wouldn’t be able to withstand more.

Jensen thanked everyone for coming as he scanned the small room. His heart slammed into his chest wall as his eyes locked on a face he thought he’d never see again. She looked every bit as beautiful as she had the last time he had seen her. He had to hold the bottle of water with two hands to keep from reaching for her. He had never felt time pass like it did when he was with her, even surrounded by other people. When his manager signaled the end, he breathed a sigh of relief, laced with regret. What if she left and he never saw her again? What if she stayed and wanted to speak to him? Sifting the emotions from the logic, he exchanged a few words with his manager before fleeing the room to his own space. 

A soft knock at the door brought him back to the present and he calmly answered with his back to the door. “Come in.”

He caught her eyes in the mirror of his dressing room, tear tracks fresh on her flawless skin. He spun around before she could vanish. “I didn’t think you’d come.” 

“I didn’t really have a choice.” 

“There’s always a choice.” 

“Not this time.” 

“I never thought I would see you again, Y/N. What are you doing here?”

“Following my compass.”

“I won’t pretend to know what that means, but I’m going to assume it has something to do with your grandfather. I’m sorry for your loss, he was an incredible man,” Jensen offered. 

“Yes, it does, and yes he was. He always liked you and told me I was an imbecile for leaving you the way I did, for not fighting for you, for us,” Y/N admitted. “That song…?”

“Are you asking if it has meaning? If it’s about you?” 

Y/N took a tentative step forward, lessing the gap between them, the atmosphere in the room shifting. “Yes.” 

“Yes. All of them are. You were always my inspiration, my muse,” Jensen confessed, inching closer to her. 

“I’m sorry, Jensen,” Y/N sniffed. 

“For what?” 

“For leaving. For losing my compass.” 

“You’re here now.” 

Did you like it? The nicest thing you can do for a writer is reblog their work and tell them, and others, how much you like it!

The Whole Enchilada: @iwantthedean​ @dolphincliffs​ @mrswhozeewhatsis​ @flamencodiva​ @blacktithe7​  @amanda-teaches​ @hannahindie​  @kickingitwithkirk​  @wi-deangirl77​ @hobby27​​ @gh0stgurl​ @alleiradayne​ @idreamofplaid​ @manawhaat​ @crashdevlin​  @emoryhemsworth​  @fangirlxwritesx67​ @winchesterprincessbride​ @waywardbeanie​ @jensengirl83​ @anathewierdo​  @winchest09​​

The Dean’s List/Jensen’s Jamboree: @jerkbitchidjitassbutt @dean-winchesters-bacon​ @adoptdontshoppets​ @supernatural-jackles​ @fandom-princess-forevermore​ @akshi8278​ @thing-you-do-with-that-thing​ @deanwanddamons​ @rockhoochie​

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction || You’re An Idol and Have A Panic Attack

A/N: Contains descriptions of panic attacks/stressful situations that could be triggering to some people. I hope this is to your liking my lovely anon, I’ve been unwell all weekend so I cancelled my plans so I’ve been working on my requests. Hope you like it

Seokjin:

You were at the AMA’s looking for you way around. You were supposed to be performing your new song soon but you were lost and you didn’t have the confidence to ask someone where you should be going, you were new to the whole idol world, you were shy and quiet so you didn’t know how everything worked just yet. You weren’t used to talking to different people all the time and so it was a little hard to get used to everything going on around you, you didn’t know many people in the industry yet except for your manager and crew members, but they were all out front getting ready to watch instead of working, you were a guest performer, your manger was out in a business meeting so you were left alone, you promised her you could manage but now you were doubting yourself, wishing you’d never promised and that you knew more people to help you around. You were sure you passed by the same speaker four times now and you were starting to feel your heart race and your palms were starting to sweat, you leant back against a wall near you when you saw someone coming towards you,

“Shit.” You mumbled ducking out of the way of a group of seven men walking towards you, they all walked past without a second glance but then the second tallest one stopped and looked at you, you were panting now. Your heart was pounding against your chest, your head was spinning and you started to feel sick.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey!” You looked up to see big brown eyes staring back down into yours, you were shocked at first but your heart and mind were racing too much for you to think about it.

“Look at me. Breathe. Breathe.” You nodded along with him and his friends were going to talk to someone else,

“Get me some water Jimin.” The one in front of you said, dropping to his knees in front of you and holding your hands, you looked at his hands and then to his face, you never even noticed how handsome he was until then.

“Okay so, tell me your name.” You frowned shaking your head and closing your eyes, your head was pounding, a headache starting to form now.

“Y/N.” You answered making eye contact with him once again, he handed you a bottle of water and you smiled.

“Where did you grow up, do you remember the street name?” You frowned, nodding your head as you thought about where you grew up, you told him the street and he smiled nodding along and encouraging you to drink the water.

“Okay so…tell me about your family, or why you’re back here.” He whispered to you, you smiled softly at him and then began to explain everything.

(X)

“Thank you.” You said to him after your show, he was waiting by the side of the stage for you with a smile on our face, he’d finally calmed you down backstage.

“You did amazing!” He said with a smile, you looked at him and he walked you through the backstage going towards your changing room, he promised you after he calmed you down to walk you around and show you backstage.

“Thank you Jin, I bet you guys will rock it too.” You said as you sat down on the sofa, taking a bottle of water and handing it to him. He was performing in an hour and the meantime you were going to sit and talk backstage to get to know each other more.

“I’ve been watching you perform for a while, you’re always so insane! We’ve loved you since you started on youtube.” You were shocked at his sudden admittance to knowing who you were.

“You know me?” You stuttered out, a little shy that the Kim Seokin from BTS knew who you were.

“Yeah! We’ve all been watching you on youtube, we loved the cover of Boy With Luv you did.” He admitted, taking a bottle from you and drinking from it, you were blushing a bright red colour now and so was he, his ears were turning a bright red colour the more you stared at him.

“I’m glad you liked it.” You said with a shy smile on your face.

Yoongi:

“You’re going to be fine,” Your bandmate said as you paced back and forth in the changing room, it wasn’t your first time performing but it was your first time performing in a new arena, and in front of BTS. THE BTS!  They’d tweeted out about coming to see your band perform tonight and you’d been on edge ever since, you were a nervous wreck, you’d always loved them and now they were coming to see you.

“Look, we’re on in ten minutes. See you out there.” Your friend said, leaving the room. You groaned looking at the clock on the wall and then going to follow after her but once you left the room she was gone, it was packed backstage and people were walking all over the place doing their own thing, you bit down on your lip looking over people to try and find her but it was useless, she was gone.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck.” You repeated going out into the halls to try and find your way around, why wasn’t anything properly labelled?! You mentally slapped yourself for letting her walk away without you. You were about to turn a corner when you walked into someone’s chest, knocking you back a couple of steps, you fell into a wall and began to panic, everything around you felt like it was starting to cave in on you and the tears started before you could even think.

“Whoa, it’s okay. Look.” You looked up to see Min Yoongi looking at you, he smiled at you with a gummy smile and you felt a little more at ease.

“You okay?” He questioned coming over to you, you nodded, still unable to find words because he was Min-Fucking-Yoongi.

“Yeah…New arena…Not used to it.” You managed to stutter out to him, he chuckled softly and took you over to the changing room again, but you shook your head.

“I have to go on, I don’t have time…Do you know the way to the stage?” You questioned with a small laugh, he nodded and you both began walking towards the stage where your bandmates were waiting for you.

(X)

“I told you, you had nothing to worry about.” He said as you came into the changing room after the concert ended, you laughed sitting on the sofa and shaking your head, he was right. Just before you went onto the stage he was talking to you about how well it was going to go, and how amazing you always performed but you couldn’t question him before.

“That was insane!” You screamed looking over at your bandmate who was laughing at something Jin was saying to her, the rest of the members all of somewhere else in the room and Yoongi was sitting next to you, talking to you about how the show went and that’s when you decided to question him on it.

“You said we always do amazing, have you been to a concert before?” You questioned, you had more confidence thanks to the adrenaline rush from the stage and you felt like you could do anything, Yoongi, on the other hand, was shy now, he was starting to stutter over his words and was blushing a bright red colour.

“Oh, he’s had a crush on you since you started!” You heard Taehyung yell from the other said of the changing room, your eyes widened and so did Yoongi’s, both of you now blushing a bright red colour, your crush had a crush on you!

“Just ask her out, it’s obvious she likes you too.” Your bandmate said from behind you, Yoongi just looked at you with a questioning look, too nervous to actually ask you, so you nodded, also too nervous to form words.

Hoseok:

Why did you think this was a good idea again?! Coming alone to a concert to a band you didn’t know personally and now getting lost backstage. Your manager had managed to get you inside with her but now she was off doing something else while you tried to find your way around. Some of the crew for the band you were seeing smiled and waved at you, you weren’t big. Just a small new idol around town and you’d performed a few times with some of the crew members working under you, it was a small world after all. You were trying to get your phone out from your back pocket to try and call your manager, maybe have her find you and walk you around to the side of the stage where you could see the concert but your phone was dead and you had no charger or charging pack on you.

“Shit.” You whispered to yourself, standing near a giant speaker and trying to calm yourself down, you could feel the panic attack coming but you didn’t want it to start, you were doing so well. But your heart was starting to pound against your chest, your hands were sweating and you knew that your breathing was starting to become more shallow by every passing second, you tried to remember all of the different techniques to use in this situation but it was as if your head was empty now and all you could think about was how lost you were and how you had no way out before you knew it. Tears were streaming down your cheeks, and you could hardly stand up, your legs felt like they were being pulled down to the ground so you sat down, dragging your knees into your chest and resting your head on them,

“Whoa, hey.” You heard someone say, you didn’t look up, you didn’t want to, but someone placed their hands on your chin and lifted you up to look at them.

“Y/n.” You looked at who it was, trying to focus on something else, Hoseok. How did he know who you were? Why was he now looking at you with a worried look in his eyes,

“We’ve been looking everywhere for you.” He breathed out, looking at you and realising you were having a panic attack, he sat down in front of you and took your hands in his.

“Okay, look at me…Right. Big deep breath in.” He said to you, you nodded and starting deep breathing with him, and he nodded at you, letting you both exhale before repeating it again.

(X)

“You okay?” He asked after you finally got your breathing back to normal, he handed you a tissue from his pocket and you took it, smiling at him and wiping your eyes, your makeup for the night probably ruined beyond repair by now.

“Yeah, sorry. I was just lost and I couldn’t call my manager.” You managed to say, he helped you up on your feet,

“That’ll explain why she couldn’t get through to you earlier.” He chuckled, walking with you along the hallways, greeting people as you walked.

“You know my manager?” You questioned, turning a corner with him and heading towards a set of doors, he nodded at you.

“You wanted to come and see us, she contacted me for tickets. Made me promise to look after you but I guess I didn’t do a very good job.” you laughed along with him, she’d set you up to meet with your favourite member and didn’t even tell you.

“We can blame her, she didn’t tell me she was getting me to meet my favourite BTS member.” You said without thinking, he stopped in his tracks which made you stop.

“Favourite?” He questioned with a raised eyebrow, you blushed and looked down at the ground, wanting it to just swallow you or your manager to come out and rescue you from embarrassment.

“You’re my favourite too.” He whispered to you with a wink, your blush becoming ten times deeper than it was before, and a small blush was appearing on him too.

Namjoon:

You were walking along the red carpet, stopping to do interviews with different people, you were a new artist on the scene so many people were screaming for you to come and talk to them, but you were told by your manager to walk only to the ones she’d given you, and then to head inside to find her. You were dressed in a silver ball gown, your hair was up and your makeup was done by one of the best in the business, you weren’t nervous at first, you only started getting nervous when you headed inside of the building. STAPLES Center, it was huge and packed full of different people. You couldn’t find your manager where she said she would be standing but she was nowhere to be seen, you were about to turn around and go in another direction but a group of paparazzi were walking towards you so you turned forwards again and began walking through the building to try and find her. You cursed yourself for not bringing your phone with you, and for the dress not having pockets to put your phone in,

“Excuse me-” You tried to grab someone’s attention but he ignored you, putting his head down and continuing to walk away from you, you bit down on your lip, everyone you tried to grab was either ignoring you or didn’t hear you.

“Shit.” You mumbled trying not to cry, you didn’t need to cry but being stuck somewhere you didn’t know the way around was making your anxiety worsen.

“You alright? You lost?” You turned around to see where the voice was coming from and you met the eyes of Namjoon from BTS, he was taken back when he saw it was you in front of him, you smiled softly and nodded.

“Lost, I don’t know my way around.” You said trying to calm down your beating heart, it wasn’t the panic making your heart pound it was being this close to Kim Namjoon.

“I can help you out, do you know where you’re supposed to be sitting?” He questioned, coming closer to you since more people were starting to pour in from outside, you were pressed against a wall now and he was a few inches in front of you, you were sure if he listened carefully and the place was empty he could hear your heart beating.

“No, my manager said she would meet me here and take me but she’s a no show.” You said with a nervous laugh, trying to make light of the situation but it wasn’t working.

“You can come and sit with us, we have a spare and empty seat for our manager who couldn’t come with us tonight, or you can sit with us until your manager comes to find you.” You nodded following beside him towards some doors, he let you go first and you thanked him.

“Thank you for this.” You said as you walked side by side towards his band members,

“I don’t know how I can ever repay you.” He chuckled along with you but then he said something that almost made you fall over nothing,

“You could give me your number.” You stared back at him for a couple of seconds, both of you stopped in the middle of the walkway and looking at one another in the eyes.

“I’d love that.” You said back to him, you had no idea where the sudden confidence boost was coming from but you didn’t care, you wrote down your number in his phone and smiled.

“I don’t currently have my phone to prove it’s my real one…but I wouldn’t give you a fake one.” You said looking at him, he was laughing with you as you headed to his seat.

“I believe you.”

Jimin:

You’d been on edge all day, you were stressed with college work and idol work, you were a new performer but you were still studying, you thought it would be easy to do both but you were clearly wrong on that end. You were currently backstage at the Billboard Awards, you were supposed to be going up in about half an hour but you were late coming in from studying, and now you had no idea where any of your team were or the changing rooms, you were completely lost backstage and you knew you were going to be in trouble by your whole management team for being late, they told you not to keep studying while you worked, it would only lead to unneeded stress.

Jimin was walking backstage when he noticed you leant against a wall, he saw your shoulders shaking and your tears running down your face, he rushed over to you, sitting next to you and pulling you into him, you didn’t even care who it was but you snuggled against their arms as you gasped for air, tears streaming down your cheeks,

“You’re okay, it’s okay.” You heard him whisper to you, you were shaking and holding onto his arms tighter, he then began to sing softly into your ears, so only you could hear him singing, he held you tighter and you began to relax as the words left his mouth, that’s when everything started to come back to you, you were laid in someone’s arms, and not just anyone, you looked up to confirm what you were thinking and your eyes met Jimin’s. He smiled down at you, still singing softly as you stared at one another, someone cleared their throat you both looked up to Yoongi looking down at you both, you blushed, standing up and brushing off your pants.

“Hi, I’m Y/N.” You said shaking his hand, he smiled at you taking your hand and shaking it, Jimin shot him a look and he walked away from you both.

“Thank you Jimin…for calming me down.” You said, suddenly feeling self-conscious about crying and having a panic attack in front of him, you shook his hand as a greeting and he smiled taking your hand in his and shaking it just like Yoongi had done.

“No problem, you looked like you needed the help, you want to talk about it?” He questioned, your hands were still locked together, except now it was as if you were holding hands, your fingers intertwined together.

“Yeah I would Lov-”

“Y/N! Where have you been!? I’ve been calling you! You’re on in ten minutes!” You stage manager screamed at you from down the hall, you nodded dropping your hand from Jimin’s and shyly looking at him.

“I’ll catch you after the show, then we can go and get a coffee and talk about it.” You nodded and he smirked, winking at you and letting you go to your stage manager who looked pissed that you were so late.

Taehyung:

“This is amazing!” Your friend yelled as she jumped up and down, you’d brought her along to one of the BTS concerts you’d been invited to with your manager, you were a new idol on the scene and BigHit wanted to get you involved with them so they were sending you to meet some of their clients, you’d already met Lee Hyun and some of the TXT members but now you were meeting BTS, you knew your friend was a fan so you brought her along wanting her to have fun and be your moral support for the time you were there, which she was…until she ran off promising she would only be two minutes and you didn’t see her for half an hour. You were starting to worry because things were being packed up and you hadn’t found her yet. You walked around but you couldn’t see her, so you were standing against a back wall trying to calm your breathing but it was hard, you started to feel like there was a belt wrapped around your lungs, tightening whenever you took a breath.

“What’s wrong?” You looked up to see Taehyung walking towards you, abandoning his band members and coming to your side, you didn’t even question how he knew you but you knew he was a social butterfly and was trying to be nice to you.

“Talk to me.” He said in a calm tone as he reached you, he took your arms in his and tried to get you to face him.

“Can’t…Can’t breathe.” You panted out to him trying not to choke on the words, he nodded and looked you in the eyes.

“You’re going to be okay, look me in the eyes okay, we’ll breathe together.” He said to you, you nodded and began following the breathing tips he was giving you, breathing in for ten seconds, holding and letting it all out again. Slowly but surely it felt as if the imaginary belt around your lungs was gone and you could breathe again.

“Better?” You smiled and nodded your head, finally feeling better, you leant your head back against the wall, feeling drained from the panic attack.

“Thank you.” You said to him, taking a bottle of water he was handing to you.

“Anytime.” He said with a bright smile, you sat down on the floor and he sat down beside you, the rest of his members were gone now and you were left alone with him.

“Want to talk about it Y/N?” He questioned, you looked at him, a little shocked he knew your name but then you realised you were being recruited by BigHit so that’s probably why.

“Lost my friend backstage, she was supposed to be moral support but I couldn’t find her, not a good look for someone who’s supposed to be getting into this industry,” You sighed taking a sip of the water but he shook his head at you.

“Trust me, you’re an amazing performer so they’ll look past it, probably help you with your anxiety if it’ll make things easier for you.” You looked at him, he’d heard you perform?

“You’ve heard me perform?” You questioned him, he was now blushing a bright red colour.

“I may have shown your work to some managers and influenced them into recruiting you.” You were so shocked by his admittance but you just threw your arms around him and hugged him, he was shocked at first but hugged you back.

“Thank you so much, you have no idea what that’s done for my career.” You said to him, pulling away and smiling at him, the blush still bright as ever on his cheeks.

Jungkook:

You’d just finished a meet and greet and you were beyond tired now, you loved meeting all of your fans and getting to know them but now you were ready for a week-long nap and a shower. You were backstage at the event, everyone was rushing to get things packed up and you were as lost as ever, you hadn’t been to this venue yet and you didn’t know where anything was, or where any of your band members had gone off to, you were alone and didn’t know how to ask anyone anything, you didn’t want to bother anyone they all seemed to be busy and in their own world. You were starting to panic, you could feel your heart racing. You didn’t want to panic about this, it was something so small, it shouldn’t bother you so much, you knew you were going to be fine but your body didn’t see it that way, it was starting to go into fight or flight mode and it was choosing flight, your tears started and your heart was hammering against your rib cage, you could have sworn it was trying to get out of your chest.

“Y/n?!” You heard a male voice ask, but you didn’t notice who it was, you just dropped onto your knees and began to cry, you felt pathetic but your heart was starting to hurt and your head was racing.  The person who had yelled for you was now next to you and lifting your head, he sat down next to you and pulled you into his arms, letting you use his legs as a pillow, he began drawing small invisible patterns into your skin, your hands reached out to his thighs and you clutched onto them.

“It’s okay, I’m here, just breathe. Focus on deep breathing alright?” You nodded as he repeated breathing techniques out for you to follow and you did so, your breathing slowly returning to normal as a stranger held you in his arms, you opened your eyes and looked up to see Jungkook staring down at you, you sat up and bit down on your lip.

“Sorry…You must think I’m some kind of-” He shook his head, stopping you mid-sentence and looking at you.

“No, you were having a panic attack…You’re okay now though yeah?” You nodded a small smile on your lips as he took your hands in his and smiled back at you.

“Good…I just came by to meet you and I was late to the actual meet and greet and someone said they saw you back here and then I saw you panicking and I knew I had to do something, couldn’t let my favourite member get like that.” He said with a sigh in his voice, you looked at him with a smile again and he was blushing a deep red.

“I’m your favourite?” You questioned, your small smile gone and replaced with a huge one, he was shying away from you now and you giggled.