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#Can Being Friends With An Ex Get Them Back
lovelookspretty · 2 days
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lover of mine
drew starkey x actress!reader au
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— in which drew and y/n, secretly exes, must fake date in order to keep the peace at a mutual friend’s wedding, but the forced proximity makes them question whether they ever truly moved on.
warnings: y/n lowkey being difficult because she doesnt want to lie to her best friend, DREW TRYING HIS BEST
one | two | three | four | five
authors note: okay she was a little UGHcore but i just needed a rocky start before things got cute n theyll be communicating soon. guys i promise theyll get better n y/n also wont feel so guilty as time goes on !!!!!
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you gaze up at the home through the window of the car. drew is driving beside you, insisting you begin the plan by arriving together to the address leila forwarded to everyone.
“it’s . . . i didn’t think it would look like this,” you say aloud, and drew turns down the volume of the radio after he parks the car out front.
the house is big, surrounded by a few others down the road that look similar to it. the first floor seems like a basement area because the stairs at the front of the house lead all the way up to the second floor and continue two more, standing at four in total.
it’s just a few miles away from town that you and drew were able to drive by and take a look at on the way there. the area is beautiful. no wonder why leila’s mom and her boyfriend stay there.
the front door is open and you spot leila’s head peeking out of the doorway just on time. she disappears for a moment before she’s leaving the house to hurry down the stairs, probably to greet you both. you’re already unbuckling your seatbelt and getting out of the car to meet her halfway.
“isn’t it amazing? was it a safe drive from los angeles?” leila asks as you quickly greet her with a hug, before you walk her over to drew’s car. he’s opened the trunk and back doors to retrieve your things. “two weeks here will be nice, huh?”
“oh absolutely,” you agree with her, and you grab your purse from the backseat and drew’s backpack, then shut the door. “is everyone else here?”
“yeah, they just got here an hour ago—gia brought her boyfriend, roman. he’s a little shady but they’re kinda cute. libby’s here too, ooh, and oscar, theo’s childhood friend,” leila says and you can just hear the excitement in her voice that makes you smile.
you hold one of the straps of drew’s backpack and hold it up for him to take it while leila keeps talking. you watch as he eyes it for a moment before looking at you, as if he’s wondering why you don’t want to take it.
the thought doesn’t even cross your mind but it’s fine. he takes his backpack and slings it over his shoulder, then continues to grab the handle of his suitcase and carry it out of the trunk, then yours.
you stand there and wait for him to hand you something to carry but he just keeps his backpack on both shoulders, shuts the trunk, locks the car, and then grasps both suitcase’s handles with either of his hands, ready to head up. there’s a faint smile on his face when he faces you and leila.
“you’re taking them?” you ask, referring to both of your things so you can just bring your purse to the house.
he nods like it’s nothing, “yeah, i got it.”
leila can’t help but awe at you two. “you guys are so adorable. theo and i missed having you both around,” she says as she turns around and heads to the home.
at her words, you peer over your shoulder and send drew a knowing look, but there’s a slight twinge of guilt in both of your expressions that you have to shrug off.
you and drew stand side-by-side as you confront the home, watching as leila walks up the steps and is immediately approached by theo, who hands her a drink.
they share a kiss, and right past them you can just barely spot a few figures that must be the rest of the group. they’re shouting and laughing with one another, leaving you to look at drew again.
he gives you a nudge. “professionals, remember?” he’s referring back to your initial conversation about the plan just two weeks ago.
something about all of this just makes your stomach turn, but you nod. “professionals,” you repeat, and then look at the house again, then you take your step.
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you’re carefully settling down on the bed leila’s given you and drew. it’s in a separate room right next to where she and theo will be sleeping. and of course, there’s just one bed.
“i can take the couch tonight if you want,” drew offers as he sets both of your belongings on the side, but he’s talking about sleeping on the small couch on the opposite side of the room to the bed, just against the window.
“it’s just sleeping in a bed, star, it’s nothing we haven’t done before,” you tell him with a shake of your head, and drew’s shoulders drop ever so slightly at the sound of his old nickname, the one that once rolled off your tongue so effortlessly. now, it feels like a small peace offering, a reminder of when things were simpler.
he gives it a few moments to make sure you’re okay with it, before he nods. “okay,” he says.
you check the time on your phone. it’s already eleven in the morning and leila said she wanted to go swimming in the afternoon. you have a whole beach ahead of the house but she insists on using the pool in the back. theo even suggested earlier that he and oscar can grill some lunch.
“i should get ready,” you say as you stand and toss your phone on the bed, then approach your suitcase. there’s a knock at the door and you know it’s leila. “i’ll be out soon, sorry!” you tell her, hoping you’re loud enough for her to hear you from all the music they’re playing out there.
you glance up at drew when you see he’s just standing there. “what are you gonna be doing?” you ask him, then rifle around your clothes for a bikini.
he scratches the back of his head as he settles on the couch, and he shrugs, “might join theo and oscar since they’ve been down there already.”
you only nod as you find a matching set that you’ll decide to wear today. drew is looking around the room, even outside where the views are like paintings on a canvas.
“this place is so nice,” he says, a little too casually, like he’s trying to ease the awkwardness. “lei’s mom really knows how to live it up.”
you don’t respond right away, focusing on your makeup bag that you need to retrieve something in. it’s not that you don’t hear him, you just . . . don’t feel like talking. when you finally do, your voice comes out flatter than intended. “yeah. it’s a nice place.”
tension lingers heavy in the air. you hear drew shift on the couch, probably sensing your mood, but he continues. “kinda reminds me of that trip we took up the coast. remember that little inn with the—”
“i don’t really want to talk about that right now,” you cut him off, your tone sharper than you mean it to be. you don’t look at him, you just reapply your perfume as if it’s the most important task in the world.
there’s a pause, and you can feel drew’s gaze on you. “right,” he says quietly, “sorry.”
you exhale, trying to shake off the tension building in your chest. you know it’s not his fault—not entirely. this whole thing was a bad idea from the start, but you agreed. you’re here. and now, you’re stuck with him, in this room, pretending like everything’s fine when it’s the furthest thing from it.
“i . . . didn’t mean to snap,” you say, softer this time. “it’s just, i’m still not completely okay with all of this.”
drew leans forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “i get that. but we’ve already talked about it. we agreed to do this, and now we’re here. you know that it’s too late to back out.”
you close your suitcase with more force than necessary, finally looking up at him. “yeah, but it wasn’t my idea to lie to my best friend, drew.”
his jaw clenches for a second, and you can see the faint flicker of hurt in his eyes, but he doesn’t lash out. he just nods, “i know it wasn’t. but you’re here. you agreed.”
you purse your lips, frustration building. “yeah. because you asked me to. not because i wanted to.”
he runs a hand through his hair, letting out a slow breath. “i didn’t want to drag you into this if you were gonna be miserable the whole time.”
“i’m not miserable,” you snap, but the lie feels heavy as it leaves your lips. you avoid his gaze, the weight of everything sitting on your shoulders. “i just don’t want to pretend everything’s okay when it’s not.”
he’s quiet for a moment, the silence thick between you two. “i’m trying, y/n,” drew says finally, his voice low, almost pleading. “i’m trying to make this less . . . awkward, but it feels like no matter what i say, it’s wrong.”
you just fold your arms, staring at the floor. “maybe that’s because it’s not just about this trip. it’s about everything that happened before.”
drew’s expression hardens, but he doesn’t argue. “i know. i just thought that maybe this could be a chance for us to be around each other again. figure things out.”
you raise your eyebrows. “figure what out? there’s nothing left to figure out. we’re not together. and pretending like we are just feels wrong.”
he’s silent for a long moment, staring at you like he’s trying to find the right words but can’t. eventually, he just stands, moving over to the window. “if you want out, y/n, you can tell them the truth. i’m not gonna stop you.”
you swallow hard, not knowing what to say to that. of course, he’s not wrong—you could end this charade whenever you want. but something keeps you from doing it. maybe it’s the fear of letting everyone down. maybe it’s the guilt of seeing leila so happy, thinking everything’s fine between you and drew.
or maybe it’s something deeper—something you’re not ready to admit to yourself yet.
“i’m not gonna ruin leila and theo’s plan,” you mutter, more to yourself than to him. “i’m sticking to ours.”
you’ve collected your swim suit and a pair of shorts and head for the bathroom. before you close the door behind you, you hear drew’s quiet voice, more resigned than angry now.
“i’m trying, y/n. i wish you’d let me.”
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you’ve joined leila downstairs, as she’s planned on preparing other food for todays lunch in the kitchen, so libby, gia, and roman are already there enjoying themselves. they’re mainly just talking, not doing much other than that. leila’s already set everything up for you and her to work on for the next half hour or so.
you greet libby and gia with a small wave, having already said hello to them when you first got there. libby is a publicist in hollywood who met leila while she was filming some indie movie earlier in her career. she was brought in to manage leila’s pr during a press tour and boom—immediate friends.
gia and roman came sometime after. all you know is that leila met gia at a party like you and leila. gia’s incredible in fashion and helped leila with some of her carpet looks. roman’s just this alternative musician who she started dating this year. cute, but a little weird, like leila said.
“so, you and drew starkey?” roman asks as he pops a grape in his mouth, eyeing you. “i thought outerbanks didn’t have a girlfriend.”
“you thought that, and a lot of people still do,” you tell him. leila’s showing you her plan on what to cook while you watch. “he and i like to keep it private.”
“more like a complete secret,” he says, in which gia has to smack his arm to tell him to stop talking. “what? nobody knows.”
“some relationships work better that way,” you say.
“yeah, maybe take a page out of their book and do the same,” libby tells roman, and you see leila smiling at her friends as she works on dicing the vegetables. “there’s a few photos of you two out on the internet. i mean gia, baby, if i were you, i’d keep it a secret. roman’s so blah.”
he shakes his head at her and it makes you smile this time. libby catches it and grins, giving you a nod as she peels her orange.
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after eating lunch and playing around in the water for hours, you all finally settle at the firepit, minus gia and roman who insisted they needed to sleep earlier because of their flight in today.
you’re leaning back against the seat, sitting next to leila who’s wrapped up in her blanket. the boys and libby are talking on their own about whatever. you don’t know. you just see drew smiling and constantly leaning forward and laughing, in which you tell him every time to be careful in case he gets too close to the fire.
your focus wavers when you feel his hand casually rest on your thigh. it’s not possessive, but there’s a weight to it. you immediately stiffen, your body instinctively tensing at the sudden contact.
your gaze flicks to his hand, then up to his face. he’s not even looking at you, continuing his conversation, acting as though the gesture is completely natural. it’s all part of the act, you remind yourself. he’s only doing it to make sure no one suspects anything. you know you can’t react—any sign of discomfort would raise questions you don’t want to answer—but it pulls you out of the moment with leila.
you force a small, tight smile and try to refocus, nodding along to whatever leila is saying.
“how have you and drew been?” she asks you, and you suddenly feel that guilt creeping up on you at that moment. that’s a terrible question.
you blink twice, considering your words before speaking, “we’re good, really good. it’s gonna be a little hard when drew leaves to film soon, but you know how it goes.”
she hums. “that’s how theo said he felt like when i was away for white lotus,” she says gently, understanding where you’re coming from.
you smile, but the weight of your lie settles deep in your chest. it’s a weird feeling, pretending to be something you're not, especially when leila’s eyes are so kind, so trusting. you know she means well, but there’s just so much guilt.
leila tilts her head and leans it on the back of the couch, watching you. “it’s tough, isn’t it? balancing everything—work, life, love. theo and i had such a hard time with it at first.”
you nod, keeping your hands busy by fiddling to avoid looking at her. “yeah, it is. i mean, it’s always been a challenge with our schedules.”
leila’s brows furrows slightly. “you two have always seemed like you handle it so well, though. what’s your secret?”
your heart races a little, and you force a chuckle. “i guess we’ve just gotten used to it.”
the words feel hollow, and you wonder if she can sense it. it’s not a complete lie—you and drew had gotten used to it all, but that was before everything fell apart. before the distance between you became more than just physical.
leila catches your eye again, her voice softer. “you two have always been so private. it’s kinda nice, though. you don’t have to deal with all the drama the rest of us go through with the media and stuff.”
you force a laugh, and you can just feel the warmth radiating off your body. “yeah, it has its perks.”
you can’t even look at her. your gaze keeps getting drawn to the fire that leila can just sense the awkwardness, tilting her head a little, and you can see the faintest trace of concern in her expression.
“you okay, y/n? you seem . . . i don’t know. tired?”
“i’m fine,” you say, a little too quickly. you clear your throat, trying to keep your voice steady as you continue. “it’s just . . .” you pause, checking that the others aren’t listening before leaning in to speak quietly, “drew and i, we’ve been under a lot of pressure lately. work and everything. i think it’s just catching up with us.”
leila nods, sympathy in her eyes. “i get it. it’s hard when you don’t get enough time together.” she pauses, looking like she’s considering her next words. “but hey, at least you’re here now. a couple of weeks without any distractions, right? this could be good for you two.”
leila’s gaze shifts to the others where drew is still laughing with theo, libby, and oscar. her voice softens again, and she leans closer to you this time. “it’s just nice to see you both here. i don’t think i’ve even seen him since that last time we all hung out a year ago. it’s been a while.”
your heart drops because she’s right—the last time she saw drew was when you were still together, a year ago.
leila just smiles, “well i’m glad you’re both here. theo and i were saying how we miss having you two around more often. it’s gonna be so fun, just like old times.”
you nod, the guilt wrapping itself tighter around your chest, making it hard to breathe to your own best friend. you manage to force another smile, but it feels brittle, like it could shatter at any second.
just then, drew catches your eye as you and leila continue your conversation. his grin falters for just a second when he sees you, like he knows what’s on your mind. and for a brief moment, you wonder if this whole charade is even worth it.
“yeah . . . just like old times.”
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@rubixgsworld @itgirlbrina @thepopcultureaddict @samsmelodrama @kissfinalgirl @itsamegazaddysworld
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No Man's Land |2|
Pairing: Sam Carpenter x Reader
Summary: Sam can’t help but be drawn to the cute stranger from her gym, even if everything about them makes them the perfect suspect, just when Ghostface has returned.
Warnings: Talks of Murder and Killing
Word Count: 3k+
Main Masterlist | Series Masterlist
Part 1 | Part 2
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Sam had her head thrown back, trying to calm her nerves as she and Tara waited for Detective Bailey to arrive. When Quinn called her father, he had said he wanted to speak with Sam. He wouldn’t confirm or deny whether the killings on the news were the work of Ghostface, but he wanted her to come down to the station. Tara had refused to let her go alone and Bailey even agreed that he’d like to see Tara as well. They arrived at the police station first thing in the morning and were immediately escorted to an interrogation room, without anyone telling them anything.
Sam finally looked up when she heard the door open, seeing Bailey enter. “Sorry about the wait,” Bailey said, giving them an awkward chuckle.
“What’s this about?” Tara asked, tapping her fingers on the table.
“The killings,” Sam cut in. “Was it Ghostface?”
“We found this,” Bailey said, tossing an evidence bag containing a bloody card onto the table, ignoring both the girls’ questions. “At the crime scene,” Bailey sat in the chair opposite of them. “In which two of your,” he pointed at Tara. “Classmates were murdered. Care to explain?” he shrugged.
Tara leaned forward, her eyes widening at what was in the baggy before she looked back at Sam. Sam furrowed her brow as she took a look as well, her face instantly going white at seeing her ID, covered in blood, and in the evidence bag. “I lost my ID months ago,” Sam mumbled, shaking her head. “I had to get a new one.”
“Why didn’t you report your ID as stolen?”
“I didn’t know it was stolen,” Sam glared at Bailey.
Sam didn’t know detective Bailey too well. She knew he was a homicide detective and when Quinn decided to go to college at Blackmore, he transferred to New York so he could keep an eye on her. Quinn complained about him occasionally, usually saying how overprotective he was, though he did allow Quinn to live on her own with Sam and Tara, even though it would be much cheaper for her to live with him. Bailey always seemed like the typical dad, but Sam wasn’t sure, she saw danger around every corner but the majority of the time it was just her being paranoid.
“Where were you last night?” Bailey asked, getting back to his questioning.
“You can’t seriously think she’s a suspect,” Tara said. “That’s ridiculous.”
“I’m just trying to figure out what happened,” Bailey held his hands up in defense. “Do you have an alibi?” He looked at Sam.
Sam sighed and ran a hand through her hair. “I was at work,” Sam answered. “Then when I came home Chad and I went to the gym, then back to the apartment.”
“And someone can verify this?”
“Lots of people probably,” Sam shrugged. “Your daughter being one of them, she was at the apartment last night.”
“It’s true,” Tara said, crossing her arms. “We were all with someone the entire day. Anything else?”
“Your classmates,” Bailey said, pointing at Tara. “Had a Ghostface shrine, it seems they killed their professor a Ms. Crane.” Tara sucked in a breath, Sam didn’t know her personally, but she had heard Tara and Mindy mention her a few times. “Earlier this evening. Know anything about that?”
“Why would we? I barely talked to them.”
“Are you familiar with a,” Bailey flipped open a file, squinting his eyes at something in the file, “Richie Kirsch?”
Sam couldn’t help the way she shifted in her seat, trying not to react. “He’s my ex,” she answered with a tight-lipped smile. “And he’s dead.”
“Yeah, he and my best friend tried to kill us last year,” Tara snapped. “What’s this got to do with anything?”
“Well, it seems these boys,” Bailey said, tapping his fingers on the photos of the two guys killed. “Intended to finish his movie.” Sam and Tara’s faces both fell at those words. “It seems they were working on a plan to kill you two.”
“We don’t know anything about that,” Sam said.
“Right, right,” Bailey mumbled to himself. “So, it’s just a coincidence these two boys end up dead?”
“There are no coincidences when Ghostface is involved.”
“Look,” Tara cut in, seeming frustrated and tired. “Are we under arrest or can we go?”
Bailey looked between the two sisters then down at the photos and evidence bag. Sam held her breath as she waited for his response. She wasn’t sure what was going through his mind, he still never confirmed if Ghostface was back, and she didn’t know if Bailey suspected her or thought she and Tara were in danger.
“You’re free to go,” Bailey said. “Just don’t leave town,” he gave Sam a look, like he knew she wanted to run.
Tara didn’t hesitate to get up, nearly knocking over her chair in the process. Sam gave Bailey one last glance before following after Tara. They flagged down a cab and Tara gave the guy directions to Blackmore. When Sam furrowed her brow Tara showed her Mindy’s text saying to meet at the school so they could go over suspects before class.
Before she knew it Sam had her head thrown back again, this time as she sat on a bench outside Blackmore College. Everyone was already there when Sam and Tara arrived and since then Mindy had been standing in front of everyone pacing back and forth. Sam just wanted her to get to the point already, she wanted to try and get some sleep before she had to go to work. She knew she wouldn’t get any sleep though; she wasn’t able to sleep last night and there was no way she’d be able to before her shift, not with Ghostface out there.
“Suspects!” Mindy said, finally seeming to get to the point. “With Ghostface, most likely, back we should go over potential people who might want to kill us! Because Bailey clearly won’t be of any help.”
Sam couldn’t help but glance at Quinn. The girl frowned at Mindy’s words but didn’t move to argue with her. Mindy also didn’t bother sparing Quinn a glance, let alone an apology. Sam couldn’t help but frown at Quinn’s reaction, or her lack of reaction. Detective Bailey was Quinn’s father, and she wasn’t saying anything to stick up for him or defend him. Sam wasn’t sure if that alone was suspicious or if Quinn just knew by now there was no point in arguing with Mindy.
“First!” Mindy continued, holding up a finger. “Ethan! The shy, dorky guy who no one suspects because he’s just so shy and dorky.”
“I’m a suspect because I’m randomly Chad’s roommate?” Ethan questioned, gesturing at Chad awkwardly.
“Roommate lotteries can be fixed,” Mindy rolled her eyes as if it was the easiest thing in the world to do. “And second, Quinn!” Mindy turned, smiling at Quinn. “Tara and Sam’s slutty roommate, a horror movie classic.”
“Sex positive,” Quinn corrected. Though she didn’t seem offended by Mindy’s accusation like Ethan had.
“How did you come to live with Sam and Tara?”
“I answered their ad online.”
“No need to say more, you’ve implicated yourself enough!”
“It was an anonymous ad,” Tara said. “And we vetted her.” Sam nodded, she had done incredibly thorough questioning to both Quinn and Bailey when they were interviewing potential roommates. “Plus, her dads a cop.”
“And that makes it more likely!” Mindy gestured wildly. “Cop dad is a great cover! Besides, what are the odds, your dad, would get this case?” Mindy crossed her arms, raising an eyebrow at Quinn.
“How the hell would I know?” Quinn crossed her arms, finally seeming to get annoyed by Mindy.
“And lastly, Anika,” she smiled at her girlfriend. “You aren’t clear either.”
Anika’s face fell. “Are you kidding me?” she asked.
“Sorry babe,” Mindy shrugged. Anika just scoffed, crossing her arms and turning her head away as she refused to look at Mindy.
“I think that’s all the suspects,” Mindy said, giving herself a little nod of approval.
“And Y/N,” Sam added. Everyone turned to her with raised eyebrows. “What?” Sam shoved her hands in her pockets. “I just think they should be on the list.”
“I thought you said you haven’t ever spoken to them?” Mindy narrowed her eyes.
“I haven’t.”
“Then why would they be a suspect?” Tara questioned, crossing her arms.
“Because we have the same schedule!” Sam tried to reason. “No matter when I go, no matter what day, or what time, they’re there.”
“Suspicious,” Mindy admitted. “Anything else?”
“They have fighting experience. Not sure how much but I’ve seen them train, they definitely know what they’re doing.”
Sam continued to ramble on about you. She told them once again about how similar your schedules seemed, even when it was well after midnight and there was no one else there you’d show up. She talked all about the kind of people you did talk to and how you were otherwise reserved. Then she got into your workout and mentioned how much you lift and how much you focus on either sparring with someone or hitting the punching bag. When Sam was finished revealing all her observations about you, she looked around at the others. Everyone was looking back at her with raised eyebrows, she was going to assume they were just shocked by her keen observation skills.
“They are pretty badass,” Chad added, holding a finger up. “I hate to admit it because they seem so cool,” he let out a little chuckle. “But the way they fought that dude in the ring,” he let out an impressed whistle. “I’d hate to see what they’d do to an enemy.”
Everyone’s face slowly morphed into one of worry. Ethan and Quinn gave each other a look of concern and Tara looked at Sam as if Sam would have a solution to their problem. Sam could only offer her sister a comforting smile, she didn’t know who this new Ghostface was, but she wouldn’t let him hurt Tara.
“Okay, we’ll add them to the list,” Mindy agreed.
Sam nodded. A part of her felt a little guilty for suspecting you of such heinous things when you’ve only ever been nice, but she couldn’t take the risk. She dated Richie for months and he betrayed and used her, she hadn’t even spoken a single word to you. Sam didn’t have a real reason to suspect you, besides the fact that you went to the same gym, which a lot of people went to, but none of them had even close to the same random schedule she did, and she had never seen any of them fight like you could. She hoped you were just the cute stranger from her gym though, and not some psychopath. But she knew her life, there was no way her first crush since Richie was just a normal person that went to her gym, and all the other stuff, the stuff that drew her to you, was just coincidence, she wasn’t that lucky.
After being satisfied with their suspect list everyone went their separate ways with most of them going to class, while Sam went to work. Sam managed to get home and change but didn’t have time for a nap before having to head to her job. She managed to make it to the diner she worked at, just before she had to clock in.
Sam tried to focus on work and not let her mind wander to Ghostface and what was happening. She ignored the way people kept glancing at her, she ignored the articles she saw on their phones when she came to fill their coffee cups, she ignored the way customers bumped into her, spilling their milkshakes, ketchup, and syrup all over her. She ignored it all, she put on her fake smile and apologized to the next person who bumped into her.
Sam glanced at her phone every time she had a spare moment, when she knew, she wouldn’t get caught by her boss. She ordered everyone to text her throughout the day, so she’d know they were okay. She ordered her sister though to text her every fifteen minutes, Tara had rolled her eyes, but she had been doing it, if Sam didn’t hear from Tara within the time frame she would try calling first and then head off to wherever Tara was supposed to be.
When Sam’s shift finally finished, she rushed home, ignoring the way everyone was lounging in the living room once again as she ran to her bedroom. She didn’t have long before she needed to be at her therapy appointment, and she needed to shower and change first. She moved as quick as she could, showering long enough to get rid of the diner smell but not long enough to actually enjoy having the water rain down on her.
“I have therapy tonight,” Sam said as she rushed around the living room, ignoring her still damp hair. “I’ll be back later.” Tara nodded. “Be careful, stay inside, and don’t unlock the door for anyone.” Sam gave all of them a pointed look.
“We know,” Tara sighed. “You be careful too,” she whispered.
Sam smiled at her sister, giving everyone a quick wave goodbye before making her way out the door. She made sure to lock all the locks and double check herself before walking down the stairs. Her neighbor Danny offered her a kind smile, holding the door open for her as he was coming, and she was going. Sam did a quick check of her surroundings before shoving her hands in her pocket and began making her way to her therapy appointment.
Before Sam knew it, she was sitting in her therapist’s office, pulling at her sweater as she refused to look her therapist in the eye. She hadn’t been seeing the woman very long, she was seeing a guy for a while but when he learned her dad was Billy Loomis, he basically stopped being helpful. When Sam found Doctor Williams, Sam had started the first session by telling her all about her father, if this therapist wasn’t going to be helpful either Sam figured she might as well figure it out right away instead of wasting all her time and money.
“We’ve been sitting in silence for twenty minutes,” Doctor Williams said, not looking up from her notepad as she continued to write something down. Sam wasn’t sure what the doctor could be writing considering she had yet to speak. “Your session is only an hour long, if you want to talk,” she glanced at her watch. “You might want to think about starting soon.”
Sam frowned and flicked a glare at Williams. “I met someone,” Sam said, breaking the ice.
“That’s good,” Williams smiled, setting down her notepad and pen. “How has that been?”
“Well, I haven’t exactly talked to them yet.”
“How-How does that work?” Williams furrowed her brow.
“We go to the same gym,” Sam nodded along with her words. She was sure this was probably making her sound even crazier than she already seemed. “We’ve shared looks and a few nods,” Sam smiled to herself
She didn’t miss the small smile still on Williams’s face. “And what’s stopping you from talking to them?”
Sam’s eyes drifted down to the carpet, she pursed her lips, nodding to herself. “I think someone is trying to kill me and my sister again.” She looked up to see William’s staring at her with wide eyes. “And they’re on the suspect list,” Sam gave a little shrug.
Williams opened and closed her mouth a few times, clearly trying to process her words. “You think the person you like is trying to kill you?” Williams said slowly.
“Well, not just them, everyone’s a suspect.” Williams nodded unsurely. “I’m not being paranoid,” Sam tried to assure. “At least I don’t think I am,” she shook her head. “Tara always says I’m too paranoid but this time there’s a legitimate reason.”
Sam’s words slowly died down as Doctor Williams raised her hand. “Let’s start from the beginning,” Williams said softly.
Sam swallowed, ringing her hands as she tried to calm her nerves. “There was a murder last night. Two boys in Tara’s class killed their professor.” Williams furrowed her brow. “Then someone murdered them in their apartment.” Williams opened her mouth, but Sam wasn’t done yet. “There’s no proof, but the killings might have been committed by Ghostface.”
“And what makes you think this is Ghostface? Are you sure he’s not just on your mind, it’s around that time of year, no?”
Sam clenched her hands together. “The two students, they were fanatics,” she rolled her eyes. “Fans of Richie apparently. They were planning on killing me and my sister, but someone killed them first.”
“And you think that someone is Ghostface?”
Sam nodded. “Ghostface would never let two kids,” she scoffed. “Take out me and my sister. Not that they could,” she ran a hand through her hair.
Before Doctor Williams could say anything else the timer went off, signaling the end of their session. “See, you next week, I guess.” Sam gave a shy smile as she got up from the couch.
“Wait, I don’t want you to do anything rash,” Williams rushed, following behind her but Sam was already out the door.
Sam checked her surroundings once again as she exited the building. She began her walk back to the apartment. When she got back to the apartment, she saw everyone still in the living room. “We got pizza,” Tara said, nodding to the box on the table. Sam snapped a glare at her sister as she dropped her keys into the bowl by the door. “Anika went to pick it up,” Tara held up her hands, but Sam didn’t miss the eyeroll.
Sam sighed, shaking her head at her sister as she made her way to her room. She got ready for bed, but her mind wouldn’t stop. She kept thinking about the killings, about Ghostface potentially being back, and who they could trust.
Taglist: @thatshyboy1998
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zweiginator · 2 days
Note
wait I genuinely love ur crazy ex gf au it's so fun!! wondering how art would react to crazy ex compared to patrick though...
art is so easily manipulated. Patrick is basically having interventions with him saying he needs to block you, he has to stop talking to you. you're crazy and you're feeding off his empathy but art doesn't see it that way.
"give me your phone." Patrick tries to yank it from art's hands. "we'll get you another girlfriend who isn't batshit fucking insane."
art holds on for dear life. "what do you want it for?" and he's flustered; there's obviously something art doesn't want Patrick to see on his phone.
"don't tell me you're still texting her." he lets go of the phone and art sheepishly shrugs, deleting the conversation. "no. I'm not texting her."
"she's manipulating you."
art shakes his head. and two days later, he's proud of himself because he hasn't texted you since that night. hasn't answered your calls either. and he figures tonight will be the night he finally blocks you.
until he and Patrick go to a frat party to take art's mind off you. but there you are.
Patrick yanks art's arm.
"no."
art groans and stares back at you. you wave at him and god he looks so desperate. like a fucking puppy being dragged away from a treat.
"there's plenty of girls here you can mess around with." Patrick points to pretty girls, all scattered about.
but art just sighs and stares where you are. you're walking over to them now.
"what's so special about her anyway? I don't get it." Patrick thinks you're pretty, but god, you're way more trouble than you're worth and he's really trying to knock some sense into his best friend.
art watches your body as you walk over to them and he feels like he's having withdrawals from your pussy. he needs you on top of him, he needs you slapping him across the face, he needs you calling him a good boy, he needs you deepthroating him in the bathroom. he needs a lot but he can't tell Patrick or else he'll let it slip that he had sex with you just last week when he told Patrick he was staying longer at tennis practice.
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trippinsorrows · 13 hours
Text
without you + three
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authors note: welp. the ball is, gradually, rolling.
do not read this story if you haven’t read ’with me’. it won’t work as a standalone.
warnings: none
song inspo: be without you by mary j. blige
one + two
words: 4k
“I’ve been thinking.”
“That’s never a good thing.” Removing your eyes from the book in hand, you glare and flip your soon to be ex-fiance off if he keeps playing with you like this. 
Of course, he simply laughs as you shove on Joe’s shoulder.. “I’m serious.”
His hand moves to your stomach, rubbing a circle as he beckons, “tell me.”
Using the bookmark on the comforter, you stick it in the page you’re on and lay it against the side of you. “I think we should take Callie back so she can have her graduation.”
Joe looks over at you, brows furrowed. “I thought we were just going to do something here?”
“I know, and I think we still can, but I don’t want to take that from her. She was really excited about graduating.” It’s something you’ve been thinking about a lot, both as a teacher and a mom. It’s so important for children to feel and be able to celebrate their accomplishments. Sure, it’s only preschool, but it’s still a big deal for her.
You want her to be able to celebrate with her ‘classmates.’
And you express as such.
“She should be able to celebrate with the other kids. Plus, and I know right now, she’s still excited about them, but I don’t know, something tells me she’s going to struggle with some form of jealousy when the babies get here.”
Joe nods, not necessarily disagreeing with you. “But, that’s not entirely abnormal, right?”
“No, doesn’t mean it’ll be any easier to deal with though.” Frowning, it’s only now you also think about how that might be for you as well. For almost five years, you’ve been able to devote all of your time and attention onto one child. 
Now, it’s about to be four.
“Hey.” Joe, forever adept at reading you, brings his hand to your chin, forcing your gaze to land on him. “We’ll handle it together, alright?”
His words, as per usual, comfort you greatly. “You’re right.” His thumb flicks your chin, as you chuckle. “It’s probably good her little spoiled self is spending all this time with you now. Before she has to share you.”
His scowl makes you snort as he drops his hand back to your ever growing belly. “She’s not spoiled.”
“Joe, as the kids say, be so fucking for real.”
“What?”
Ignoring the fact that this man literally probably still has an AOL email with out of touch he is, you continue with your very valid point. “That little girl is spoiled rotten. You give her whatever she wants.”
“She doesn’t ask for much.”
“Not you being in straight up denial.” He’s so down bad for Callie Bear. It’s not even funny. “Need I remind you of her little tantrum two weeks ago? Baby, the way you folded so quickly should have been recorded. Tribal Chief, my ass. Got taken down by a four year old.”
Joe shoves you gently. “Shut up.”
Laughing, you continue, “just admit it, she has you wrapped around her lil’ finger, and she knows it. That’s why she tried you the way she did, but I mean it, next time it happens, and it will, set her little butt straight. She can take it.”
Joe’s frown doesn’t make it any easier for you to hold in your laughter. “I don’t like being mean to her.”
“It’s not being mean, baby. It’s being a parent. As much as she loves to play with you like you’re one of her little friends, you’re not. You’re her dad. She needs to respect you as such.”
“She does,” he defends, and you sigh, knowing this is probably just a battle you won’t win. Quieting down, you decide to switch topics to something you’ve been thinking more about as you prepare for the arrival of your children.
“I’m gonna tell her, you know. When she gets older, that I’m the reason you weren’t there the first few years of her life.”
Joe sits up in the bed, removing his hand from your stomach, concern evident all over his handsome face. “Y/N—”
You lift your hand to silence him. “No, she’s going to eventually ask, and I’m not going to lie to her. Whatever anger she feels would be justified, and I’ll handle it.” 
You’ve thought about this more and more as you progress with your pregnancy. The fact that these babies will get to experience Joe from day one when Callie didn’t. There’s undeniable unfairness, and should she ever want to know just why Joe was MIA at the beginning, you will be honest with her.
You’ll make sure she knows that it was you who decided to keep her a secret from her father. How specific you’ll get will depend on her age, but you’re not a fan of lying to and holding secrets from kids when it directly impacts them.
You know firsthand how thinking your dad didn’t want to be around can fuck with someone’s mental.
You won’t let that be the case with Callie.
Joe looks just as bothered, like he doesn’t want you doing anything that could impact how Callie sees you. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Oh, but I do and will, baby.” You place your hand to his cheek, his beard a little more outgrown and slightly unkempt as he truly relaxes in the embrace of vacation. “Because that’s one thing I never did and would never do. I never let anyone say any disrespectful shit about you not being in Callie’s life. Amir would try it a lot, and I shot him down every time.”
The mention of Amir brings a scowl to Joe’s handsome face. It’s a bit of a distraction technique you’re grateful worked. This will also be a revisited topic over the years, clearly. “I don’t know what the fuck you saw in him.”
Small smile on your face, you shrug, “he’s not ugly, and his dick was decent.” And before he can say anything smug and smart, “yours is better, duh. Why you think I’m giving you all these kids, huh?” He smiles and shakes his head. “You gotta have God tier dick for me to push out not one but gonna be four of your big headed ass children. Boy, I wish you would try to leave me. You gon be wrestling into your eighties with how much I’ll come for you in child support.”
He rolls his eyes and kisses your temple, “you know I’m not going anywhere and neither are you.”
“Of course not, who the hell is gonna want me with all these damn kids?” The topic at hand reminds you of the book on the side of your bed, the previous reason you two were taking a break from figuring out your approach for letting friends and family know about the courthouse wedding. “Now, we really need to start deciding on names. I’m almost five months.” Pretty soon you’ll be finding out the sexes of the babies. It’s crazy to you how quickly this pregnancy is passing by, most likely due to the happiness you feel. 
Time flies when life is good. 
“Did you get Callie’s list?” 
He curses. “Shit, I forgot.”
You wave him off. “No worries.” Sitting further up in bed, you shout out, “Callie Bear! Bring us your list for baby names!” 
She doesn’t say anything, and you start to try again when she comes running into the room, Disney notebook in one hand and her American Doll in the other. She doesn’t hesitate to climb onto the bed and sit on her knees at the end, “here you go, mommy!”
You accept her notebook that’s already opened to her list of potential baby names that she came up with. “Thank you, baby.” Callie switches to sitting with her legs crossed, her doll that looks just like her, courtesy of her rich ass daddy, smack dab in the middle. “Let’s see.”
A smile falls on your face as you share the notebook with Joe, pointing out the first name that he also smiles at. 
“Moana.” Predictable. So predictable. “Maui. Hei Hei. Tamatoa.” Joe coughs beside you to clearly hold in his laugh. “Baby….are these all names from Moana?”
Callie nods happily. “And Toy Story and Encanto and The Little Mermaid,” she essentially continues to sing-song list off damn near every Disney movie ever created. “The babies have to like Disney too, mommy! Like me, you, and Grandma.”
“You’re so right.” To be fair, you really shouldn’t have expected too much more. She is one Disney loving kid, through and through. “Well, thank you so much for the list, Callie Bear.”
“Daddy, did you make a list?” She asks, head tilted as she gently caresses the top of her doll’s head.
“Not yet, baby. Mommy and I are gonna make one together.” 
“I like baby Moana.” 
He chuckles. “But you’re our little Moana.”
She pouts and corrects, “no, I’m Callie.” Her sass makes you laugh. Joe wasn’t entirely wrong. She really is a lot like you sometimes. “I want a baby sister named Moana.”
“What if they’re all boys?”
You and Callie have similar reactions. It’s just that yours is one of horror and hers is more of shock.
“Noooo, I want a little sister.” 
Adding onto Callie’s vehement protest, you make your own strong thoughts and feelings known. “And I am not pushing out three boys at once, Joe. You done lost your god—”
“What do you want for your birthday, Callie Bear?” You’re partially thankful for the save but also irritated he’s asking this question he already knows is gonna generate a wild ass answer.
“A puppy!”
See.
You do your best to use the perfect combination of understanding yet assertiveness. “Baby, we done had this conversation before, we are not getting a puppy until you’re at least ten.”
“But, I’ll be old!”
“Exactly, old enough to take care of a puppy.” One look at Joe, and you can see he’s about to open his mouth and probably find some reason to ‘agree’ with or at least defend Callie’s request. “Absolutely not. No dog until she’s older, and that’s final.”
Callie, understandably, does not agree nor like this rule, and it’s evident in her deep pout and the way she crosses her arms over her little body. “Not fair.”
“Life ain’t fair, buttercup.” You retort, quickly reminding her as you take in her appearance. “Speaking of, it’s almost time for your wash day….”
The infamous, dreaded day of nonstop hair washing and styling is enough to wipe her smile away and award her a brand new reason to start whining, “I don’t want to.”
The feeling is mutual. “Neither does mommy, but we gotta do it eventually, Callie Bear.” Looking over at Joe, you inform him, “and you will be present for this ordeal, sir, so you can learn how to do her hair for me.”
He looks confused, nose turned up. A chuckle is withheld at how much he and his daughter mimic each other in this situation. “Baby, I don’t know how to do hair.”
Sucking your teeth, you smartly point out, “you do your own!”
“I barely do anything with my hair. You know this.” 
Damn. He’s right. Lucky ass. “Regardless, when I get too big to be bending over the sink like that, someone’s gonna have to do it.”
Of course, Joe’s smartass just decides to throw out something that should probably be discussed before saying around Callie, “I’ll take her to your mom.”
Callie’s eyes light up a bit. “Grandma!”
“Joe.” Lord, this man got too much money or something. “You seriously are going to fly our daughter out to my hometown so my mama can do her hair?”
He shrugs, clearly not seeing an issue with what’s being proposed. “Yeah.”
Rolling your eyes and shaking your head, you lean further back in the pillows of the bed. “You are too—” However, you’re cut short mid-sentence, face and chest dropping simultaneously, the change in your disposition enough to catch Joe’s attention. 
“What’s wrong?” He’s sitting up even more, expertly masking the concern that’s growing by the second. Recognizing this, you will that small smile to start forming on your face, shaking your head as you motion for him and Callie to move closer.
“Mommy?” Callie is just as confused as you reach for both her and Joe’s hands, placing them on your belly, trying to find the spot of origin. “What—”
This time, she’s the one to stop mid-sentence as she feels it, the sensation you last felt when you were pregnant with her. Callie’s face is still set with understandable confusion, but your gaze on Joe reveals minimal concern and an abundance of amazement. 
“What is that, mommy?” Callie finally asks. The emotion in your throat takes you back a bit. You’re not typically a super emotional person, but there’s something about this moment, about feeling your babies kick for the first time and being able to share it with your fiance and child that does something to you. Knocks at those pillars that hold up your resolve. 
“That’s the babies. They’re kicking.” You explain, smiling a bit as Callie looks at you in horror.
“Why are they hurting you?”
“They’re not, sweetie. That’s what babies do. As they get bigger and grow, they need to move around and sometimes kick. You did the same thing to me.” Adding some playfulness into your voice, there’s a level of relief to see she appears less concerned. 
Your attention, however, is brought back to Joe as he kisses your temple, hand still planted on your stomach, clearly soaking up every bit of this precious, cherished moment. 
“I love you,” he murmurs against your temple. It’s such a simple statement, a little three letter sentence that means more than anyone could ever understand. Moving your hand to the side of his face, you both laugh as Callie moves her face to your stomach. 
“Don’t kick mommy too much, okay, little babies?” The determination on her face should be captured and locked away for safekeeping for the rest of time. “She’s the bestest mommy ever and pretty and smart and—”
“—and still not getting you a puppy.” While your daughter is undoubtedly one of the sweetest kids you’ve ever come across, she’s also intelligent as hell. And you know her like the back of your hand. Enough to know where she’s headed with this. 
And, you’re proven correct when she rolls her eyes again, making a ‘hmmph’ sound that has Joe chuckling next to you. She then sets her little plotting sights on Joe as she takes her hand from your stomach and moves to crawl into his lap.
You have to keep yourself from rolling your own eyes as she pulls out that sickeningly sweet voice and holds onto his shirt. “Daddy?”
Joe doesn’t hesitate to answer right away. “Yes, baby?” One look at him, and you already know what the answer is going to be. This man is so weak for this little girl. It’s not even funny. 
“Hallie wants a friend…..” Joe’s eyebrows cave in confusion as he looks over at you. 
Gesturing to her American Girl doll on the edge of the bed, you fill him in, “that’s what she named the doll.” 
He chuckles, clearly amused by the name that rhymes with hers. “She does?”
Callie nods, that excitement building back up. “Two friends!”
Mouth dropping, you prepare to put this child in her place when Daddy Warbucks beats you to it, living up to his reputation.
“Well, then we need to get her two friends.”
“Yay!” Callie celebrates, hugging Joe who ignores your look of disapproval. “Can I make her friends too?” 
And once again, the first living, breathing bank to ever exist is quick to fold. “Of course, Callie Bear.”
“Yay!” She cheers yet again for another way too easy battle. It’s not even a battle at this point. Battle would mean that both parties have somewhat of a chance, and Joe is clearly putty for his little girl. “Thank you, daddy.” She seals the deal with a hug and kiss on his cheek before climbing off the bed, grabbing Hallie as she shares, “I’m gonna make them now!”
With her tablet, clearly. The tablet you’d bet any money Joe once again disabled the time limits on. 
Lord, you’re about to have five damn children to take care of at this point. 
It’s only when Callie is out of the room and on her way to celebrate yet another successful day of finessing her daddy that you punch this man in his big ass arm. 
“What?” It’s him having the audacity to sound and look confused that has you ready to kick him out of the room. 
“What do you mean what?” Angling your body more toward him, you explain, “Joe, why are you buying her more dolls? American Girl dolls, at that. I know you must have paid at least $300 for the first one you got her. I saw all them accessories.” He rolls his eyes but doesn’t deny it, because he can’t. Callie had always asked you for one, and while you could have scraped some money together to make it happen, you couldn’t come to grips with just how many other more useful things one could do with that money. “She doesn’t need them dolls, babe.”
“You gon’ let her get a puppy now?”
An easy ass answer. “Hell no.”
He has the nerve to catch a slight attitude with you as he affirms, “then she’s getting the dolls.”
Rubbing your temples, you realize this isn’t a ‘fight’ you’re not going to win. “You know what, whatever. You do what you want, but I’m telling you right now, these—” You bring his hand back to your belly. “—babies are not going to be spoiled like their big sister. They gon be like Oliver Twist and grateful for a bowl of soup.”
He moves his hand around, probably trying to see if he can feel any more movement. “Callie is grateful.”
“For now.” Not really wanting to have this circular dialogue with him, you grab your phone to see a couple missed texts but open the one from your mom first, instantly rolling your eyes. “Not this again.”
The shift in your voice catches Joe’s attention. “What?”
Shaking your head, you show him the thread, thumb right next to the link for an article on ‘melanin maternal mental health’. 
Talk about fucking alliteration. 
“I don’t know what’s been up with her lately, but she’s been sending me all these links for articles and like motivational photos about mental health and motherhood.” You explain to him, going to heart the message and send a quick response to at least show some appreciation. Because there is a little there. That your mom cares about you so much. But the concern isn’t necessarily valid or needed..
This is the happiest you’ve been in some time. A long time. If ever.
Nothing is going to change that.
Especially being a mother to three more children. 
Placing your phone back on the nightstand, a glance at Joe reveals he’s debating something. “What?”
He moves closer to you, hand pushing back some of your coils. “Been thinking about that movie thing…..”
The smile on your face grows as you move closer, eyes twinkling with all the curiosity in the world. “What did you decide?”
—------
Megan is having a wonderful day.
One of the best she’s had in a while.
Not only did she manage to wake up on time, but the coffee she ordered from this cute little cafe she found while on a business trip in Denver a couple months ago awaited her on the outside of her apartment door when she got back from her pilates class the night before.
And there’s few things she loves more than a delicious cup of morning Joe.
A smirk falls on her face as she hums “Here Comes the Bride” while engaging in her extensive shower routine, admiring the expert work of her wax lady. Body hair has always been an absolute no. But, it’s when she moves the loofah across the weight of her heavy breast that Megan imagines hands and not her loofah. Big hands that would cup her boobs roughly as he forces her to turn around, slams her up against the shower wall and fucks her hard from behind, her moans and shouts of pleasure dancing across the tile, alerting everyone of just who owns this pussy.
Hand gliding down her wet, nude body, she keeps the vision going, slender thighs clenching together at the thought of him forcing her on her knees, his dick down the back of her throat, eyes watering as he mouth fucks her.
“Joe….” Thin fingers slip past wet folds as she realizes she’s going to be a couple minutes late for work.
So worth it though. 
Because Megan hasn’t come like that in years. Her legs are practically wobbly as she finally exits the shower, bathroom mirror completely fogged to where she has to grab a towel to clear up a section so she can see herself.
The pink tinge of her cheek brings a sly smile to her face. 
“I can’t wait until we can be together, my love…” A sweep of sadness comes over her as she grabs her phone, admiring his handsome face on her lock screen and opens Apple Music to play his entrance music, selecting the repeat button before she continues with her routine. 
It takes her about the usual time.
And soon enough, Megan is out the door, having finished her delicious coffee and opted to just have a banana for breakfast. There’s no time for unnecessary caloric intake.
She has to start preparing for the wedding. 
Walking into the office, right away, she can detect the almost sullen atmosphere and does her best to match the vibe.
To play along. 
And before she can go to her office bestie, Paige, to “find out” why everything feels so off, the team is pulled in for a mandatory meeting.
Luke’s quiet demeanor does take her a bit back. He’s never quiet. She’s not complaining though. Not at all.
As soon as everyone is seated, he starts off with the general pleasantries that are weighed by the sadness in his voice. And then he gets into it. “I know some of you have heard, but for those who haven’t, I—uh—I got some bad news.” He takes a deep breath, shaking his head. “There’s uh—no way to say this, but Susan Jackson was found dead this morning.”
As an array of gasps and shocked countenances fill the room, Megan does her best to blend in, to play along with the genuine surprise of all of her coworkers.
Paige leans over to whisper to Megan, eyes also watery, “they say she killed herself. That she was found her on the sidewalk in front of her apartment building. Window was open and everything.”
Megan expertly fakes a horrified expression. “Oh my god, how heartbreaking.” She even manages to crank out some tears that don’t shed but get the job done. “I can’t believe she’s gone….”
“Megan.” She lifts her head, eyebrows also raising. “I know you worked close with Susan on a couple of clients, and you also know she was set to assist Roman Reigns on his debut film, but with Susan gone….”
Megan shakes her head, pulling out a few sniffles. “It’s okay. I’ll….I’ll do it. I’ll take Reigns as my client.”
And my husband.
Luke gives her a nod of appreciation, wiping at his eyes as he clears his throat and continues to address the room.
It takes almost everything in her not to roll her eyes. The woman was fucking fifty for crying out loud. 
She lived long enough. 
He says something about grief counseling, the suicide hotline, blah blah blah.
Megan does her best to listen but mostly tunes out the rest of the meeting. It’s irrelevant. She has what she wants. Now, it’s time to go after who she wants, the thought alone creating such an intense, euphoric feeling inside of her stomach as she casually traces the brand new tiny letter ‘J’ she now has tattooed on her ring finger.
85 notes · View notes
hoonieyun · 2 days
Text
bright red
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bright red
pairing: lee heeseung x reader “y/n”
genre: angst into fluff 
warnings: mentions of drinking, heeseung is drunk lol, profanity but as always all my work is 18+
summary: ex!heeseung is too drunk to drive home so his friends ask you to come get him. too worried about his drunken state, you spend the night. 
notes: saw the photos/videos of heeseung getting really flushed at the prada after party and i just had to write something because it was so funnyyy also once again… not proofread heh
word count: 2801
you’re awoken by your phone ringing, rolling over in your bed to grab your phone and answer the call, you see jake’s contact appear. “hello?” you answer, voice a bit raspy. “heyy y/n! sorry i know it’s late but -” jake begins, “late? it’s 2am jake…” you interrupt. jake briefly chuckles before continuing.
“yeah haha, it is! look at you telling the time.” jake says, trying to lighten up the mood a bit. “jake, i’m hanging up.” you threaten and you hear him gasp. “okay okay! no don’t. um so… heeseung is drunk. like… really drunk. do you think you can get him?” jake asks with a pause in between each word in his question like he was cushioning the question. 
there’s a silence between the two of you on the phone. you were contemplating if this was a good idea. you and heeseung had broken up just 2 months ago and you hadn’t seen him since despite his endless attempts to call you or show up randomly unannounced at your front door. you never opened it, but you did watch him through your doorbell camera until he left. 
you sigh, “okay fine, text me the address.” you tell jake and you swore you could hear the rest of heeseung’s friends breathe a sigh of relief on the other end of the phone. “thank you y/n! you’re the best!” jake and all the guys thank you through the phone. 
you gather yourself a bit, tying your hair up out of your face as it had gotten messy from being asleep. you quickly grabbed a hoodie from the top of your hamper, slipped on some shoes, and made your way to the bar that heeseung and his friends were at. 
the streets were empty because of how late it was so it didn’t take long to get to the bar. before you knew it, you were pulling up to the curb of the bar, heeseung was knelt over the street as jay was rubbing his back. jake noticed your car pulling up and waved you over, a smile on his face as you arrived. 
“y/n! you actually came!” jake says. sunghoon nudges him in the arm with his elbow, “yeah…” you said just nodding your head. “what happened to him?” you asked, shaking your head. 
“well, you see heeseung joined us and said he wouldn’t drink at all tonight, fast forward like… 6 bottles. here we are.” jake explains, singing the last of his sentence while gesturing to heeseung like he was a prize you had just won. “plus, we would’ve taken him home but 4 bottles in all he could talk about was yo- ouch!” sunghoon nudges him again, this time a bit harder, interrupting want jake was saying. 
“what he MEANT to say was, all of us had a bit to drink and don’t think it’s responsible to drive. since we all live further away from heeseung, we thought we could ask you to take him home?” sunghoon explains and your eyes narrow at him. sunghoon and jake have a sheepish smile on their faces, hoping their explanation was enough to get by you. 
“why didn’t you just call him an uber?” you asks and before they could answer heeseung notices your attendance. “love?” he says, still knelt over on the floor. when you peek behind the two boys in front of you to look at heeseung his eyes go wide. he softly pushes jay away and runs towards you. stumbling a bit to get up, when he gets to you he softly grabs your face with both his hands, causing you to grab onto them. 
“are you real?” heeseung asks. “yeah… we should go.” you say, guiding him to your car. the guys rush over to help you, jake opening the passenger seat door so you could get heeseung in the car. “where are we going?” heeseung says in a whiny tone. “home.” you respond as you stretch over heeseung to buckle in his seatbelt. this was the closest in proximity the two of you had been in months. “you smell good.” heeseung says with a smile while staring at you. “and you smell like alcohol.” you say while shutting the door. 
“thanks guys, i’ll take him home.” you tell the three of them, bidding your goodbyes as they all make their way back inside the bar to grab their things. “hey y/n… thanks really. he hasn’t stopped talking about you all night. i know this is hard but… thanks.” jay says as you’re making your way to the driver’s seat. “goodnight jay.” you say before getting in. 
when you get into the driver’s seat, heeseung is staring at you. “when did you get here?” he says with a confused look on his face. “this isn’t my car” heeseung says with even more confusion. “yeah, it’s my car. jake called me to pick you up.” you explained while starting the car and beginning your drive to his apartment. “you’re the best girlfriend ever.” heeseung says before dozing off, not aware he had just called you girlfriend because of how drunk he is. “yeah…” you say quietly. 
the drive to heeseung’s apartment was a bit longer than the drive to the bar as he lived on the other side of town. you managed to get him out of your car and drag him up to his apartment. heeseung must’ve forgotten his keys with one of the guys but luckily when you two had broken up, he didn’t ask for his apartment key back. you fumbled with your keys as you tried to balance heeseung so he wouldn’t fall over, putting most of his weight on you. you eventually got the door open and the two of you stumbled in. his apartment hadn’t changed at all since the two of you broke up. 
you dropped heeseung on the couch with a thud, “ouch!” he said, finally waking up. you lock his door and look over to find him picking himself up and scratching his head. you softly apologize before going to his kitchen. when you return to the living room heeseung has already started changing out of his clothes, “here, drink some water while i grab you some clothes.” you hand him the glass and make your way to his room. upon entering his room, you were filled with a lot of memories. one being when you two had broken up, right in the middle of his room. you thought about how hard it must be for him to have to sleep in there every night until you realized his bed was bare. no blankets or pillows of any sort. not even the stuffed animal of the deer you had gotten him on valentine’s day earlier in the year. you grabbed some clean clothes from his closet and wet a towel from the bathroom. 
when you return to the living room, heeseung is spread out on his couch. shirt halfway unbuttoned hugging the deer plushie you were just thinking. you hadn’t realized that heeseung had turned his couch into his bed, further realizing that he had been sleeping out here to avoid being in his room. your heart suddenly ached at the idea, feeling bad that his room had now become a constant reminder of that night.
after you had freshened him up a bit and made sure he finished his water, you were planning to leave. you were wiping his face with the moist towel when heeseung grabbed your hand, “are you mad at me?” heeseung asks with big doe eyes. ones that you’ve stared into lovingly many times before. “i don't know what i am hee…” you say, dropping your hands and gaze to your lap. 
you both sit there in silence for a moment, unaware of what to do or who should say something next. “i should go.” you say as you stand up from the couch but heeseung catches your hand. “please… please stay.” heeseung pleads, looking up at you again with those big doe eyes. “i shouldn’t, that’s probably not a good idea.” you say, trying to reason with him but it felt more like you were trying to convince yourself. 
heeseung pulls you back to the couch but instead of landing back in your seat, you find yourself on his lap. he softly brushes loose strands of hair out of your face and once again, you’re caught in his gaze. “we shouldn’t do this.” again, trying to convince yourself that none of this was a good idea. “but why?” heeseung says, in a whiny tone; reminding you that he was still drunk. “because, we broke up 2 months ago.” explaining to him but heeseung seems to not care. “but i love you. and you love me!” heeseung says, pulling you closer, now into an embrace. you hadn’t felt his hug in so long and you hadn’t realized how much you missed it until you were in his arms again. 
when you bring your arms around his shoulders to hug him back, heeseung releases a sniffle, causing you to let go to look at him. “are you crying hee?” you ask while cupping his face. heeseung had tears welling in his eyes, he wipes them away but not before apologizing. “why are you apologizing?” you ask him. “i’m the reason we broke up. if i was just there for you more often and listened to you and cared more and hugged you more and kissed you more and-” heeseung had entered his infamous nonstop talking phase of when he was drunk. you were sure it was the same way when he was with the guys, especially with how they all said he couldn’t stop talking about you. the only way you could stop him from talking was a kiss, so that’s what you did. when your lips met his, heeseung’s eyes widened but shortly after he kissed you back. you melted under his touch and kiss that you had completely forgot moments ago you were trying to convince yourself that you needed to go home. when the two of you pulled away from the kiss, heeseung had a smile on his face. “stop smiling at me like that.” you say teasingly while pouting him. “sorry, i can’t help it. i’ve missed that for the last 2 months.” heeseung says.
“you don’t know how much i’ve missed you.” heeseung continues while pulling you into a hug once again. “trust me i know. you leave like 6 missed calls a day.” you say with a chuckle while trying to get up. “no. please don’t leave, please.” heeseung once again pleading as you free yourself from his grasp. “relax, i’m just getting up so we can move to your bed. we definitely aren’t sleeping on your couch.” you say while grabbing his pillow and the deer plush. “so you’re staying?” he asks softly. “do you want me to?” you retort but before you could even finish your response, heeseung springs up from the couch with the blanket, “yes!” he says while grabbing your hand and walking you to his bedroom. 
heeseung almost tackles you into his bed. the soft and bouncy comfort overtaking the two of you. when the two of you get into his bed, it’s just like old times. heeseung is the big spoon, his toned arms enveloping you while you hug the deer plush. “goodnight heeseung.” you say. there’s a moment of silence before heeseung says something. 
“i hope you know how sorry i am. nothing was as hard as being without you. waking up and knowing how much i hurt you was painful, but knowing that you were alone hurt even more. goodnight y/n, i love you.” heeseung says in a hushed tone, giving you a small kiss on the head before falling asleep. little did he know you were still awake, a small tear falling from your eyes before you too had fallen asleep. 
the next morning, when heeseung woken up with a yawn and a stretch, he was shocked to find himself in his bed as he had been sleeping on his couch for the last few months. he scrambled out of his bed and made his way into his kitchen where he found you. standing over the stove with chopsticks stirring something in a pot. “y/n?” he asks. “what are you doing here?” heeseung says as he makes his way over to you. “is that ramen?” he says, gaze switching from the pot of ramen on the stove to your eyes. 
“yeah, i know how much you love ramen after a night of drinking so i thought i’d make some for breakfast. i finished the last few packs you had, i hope that’s ok.” you say endearingly while looking up at him. “wait, did you take me home?” he asks, still confused on what you were doing in his apartment. not that he was complaining or anything, his memory of last night was just fuzzy. 
“yeah. jake called me, said you were too drunk to drive home…” you explained. “aaand, that you couldn’t stop talking about and asking for me.” you say teasingly and heeseung drops his head with a hand in his face. you softly grab his hand and move it away from his face, “but it’s ok. i guess it worked out.” you say with a smile, one that heeseung returns. 
you spend the next hour or so helping heeseung remember the events that transpired the night before while you both enjoyed the ramen. you could tell heeseung was extra hungry, he was always like that after drinking, so you let him eat most of it; but heeseung made sure to always put noodles in your bowl when he grabbed more for himself. 
once the two of you had finished eating, you sat in silence. unsure of what to say. “look, y/n i’m so sorry for everything. i know the breakup hasn’t been the easiest for either of us but i just miss you so much. i never stopped thinking about you and knowing how much i hurt you and not being able to fix it was so hard for me. please let me make this right.” heeseung says, now kneeled in front of you, holding your hands. you cup his cheeks that are a bit puffy from the drinking and ramen, “i forgive you hee” you say but heeseung doesn’t process it. “i promise i’ll do better, i’ll never forgive myself if i ever-” heeseung pauses halfway through his sentence. “wait… you forgive me?” he asks unsure of what he heard prior. 
“yeah… unless you don’t want me to?” you say teasingly and heeseung jumps up in joy. “no! i mean yes! i mean what, yes please forgive me. i love you” heeseung says while bringing you into a hug, causing you to laugh at his reaction. 
“but we have to take it slow. i don’t want to rush back into things, we still have a lot to talk about and work through before we act like everything is back to the way it was.” you explain to heeseung as he takes the seat next to you. “i don’t want it to go back to how it was, i want it to be better. and it will be better. trust me.” he says while leaving a kiss on your knuckles. 
“are you going to finish that?” heeseung asks while pointing at the ramen in your bowl you hadn’t finished. you roll your eyes and laugh at him before sliding the bowl over to him. “you know if you weren’t so cute when you’re drunk, this would’ve never happened.” you say to him while he scarfed down the last of the ramen. “pfft, i wasn’t THAT drunk.” heeseung says trying to defend himself. 
“baby, your ears were so red you could practically put rudolph out of a job for the holidays.” you say to him with a hand on his thigh. heeseung briefly chokes on the noodles before the two of you laugh. heeseung looks at you with a smile, “what?” you ask. “nothing… you called me baby…” heeseung says, teasing you, smiling even bigger than before; causing you to roll your eyes. “go wash the dishes before i change my mind.” you say, now teasing him. heeseung immediately gets up, grabbing the dishes, and going to the sink. 
“yes maam! i do whatever a bad bitch tells me!” he says while standing up straight with a salut. you two spend the rest of the day in each other's arms. when you both announce that you’re back together to your friends, jake, jay, and sunghoon respond by jokingly taking the credit because if it weren’t for them you guys wouldn't have gotten back together. 
copyright 2024 - present © hoonieyun all rights reserved
all writing here is fiction & not in any association with characters mentioned.
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randomfoggytiger · 2 days
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I don't want to shame or be age-ist, but why did they bring in Mimi Rogers as Diana? She looks so much older than both Scully and Mulder. Was she hot and in the market in the 90s? I can see that her assertiveness and self-assuredness could be attractive, but she just didn't seem to "fit in". It's almost as if Mulder went for her because of mommy issues and looking for an older woman like Scully did with Daniel and her daddy issues.
I don't know anything about the actress. My issue is just with the casting and that she fit more in line with being an older character that came across, to me, more like a wicked step mother than a potential mate.
I don't think the question is ageist. :DDD It's a reality that she does look older than Mulder-- but that really works for canon.
Actually factually, they hired Mimi Rogers because DD acted with her before (The Rapture); and he likes to bring his friends forward into new projects. But her casting also enabled David and Mimi to take their characters' interactions in a slightly different direction than the script dictated.
I get you completely, Anon-- and I agree. That angle worked for me, however: it underlined Mulder's personal growth over the past five years (and showed how glaringly unimportant Diana had become.)
Diana Fowley: the Definition of Manipulative Comfort
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(Credit to: @iddoitforfreebaabe)
In the script, CC wrote Diana as a knock-out who subtly wielded her sexual prowess to draw Mulder's attention away from "the truth" (and to make Scully jealous, ahem ahem.) There was a sneering, preening quality to her that isn't present with Mimi Rogers. And I like that change; because five years and a thriving partnership have changed Mulder as a person-- not completely, but enough. Sneering, preening superficiality would repel, not attract, the person he's become.
Moreover, Mulder is a man so haunted by his past that he sees his sister in every little girl-- or, to the point, he sees the love and security he lost in childhood in every feminine, devoted, almost nurturing brunette. (He's drawn to women who promise love, companionship, and ease up front, only to be duped by their intentions and strung along with breadcrumbs of affection later.) I don't think he's looking for other sisters or other mothers in his selection process; just that their standard of beauty has been normalized since childhood. Importantly, we see his own distinct sexual preferences separate from his traumas: Mulder is attracted to intelligent, outspoken women, be it Pheobe Green or Diana Fowley or Dana Scully (or Bambi Berenbaum, etc.) This trait doesn't define his on-screen interactions with Tena Mulder-- a very passive, emotional woman when around him-- nor distinguish Samantha in his memories. They weren't idiots, certainly; but that's not how he selectively remembers them.
Back to Diana.
THE NATURE OF DIANA AND MULDER'S PAST RELATIONSHIP
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Diana Fowley is the perfect archetype of a person who latches onto potential-- for intelligence and companionship-- and stays until she decides to leave (cutting loose ends cleanly, and purposefully parting friends.) Relationships are for advantage, positive or negative.
We know this because of her reappearance: in The End, Diana expects to waltz back in and turn Mulder's affections back to herself with the snap of her fingers; in The Beginning, she chastises Mulder for doubting her dedication and loyalty to the files (read: him); and in One Son, she foists a kiss on Mulder when he is at his lowest point.
She's not a mother figure but a dangerous second thing: a prey animal who locates the wounded boy in the man and weaponizes that to her advantage-- hence, her full name (Diana meaning 'goddess of the hunt'; Fowley, a spin on the word fowler or snare.) (It's not until The Blessing Way that Mulder began to question his own mother's involvement in the conspiracy, posts here and here; which provides ample proof of the lengths his ex would have been able to twist him about without his suspicion.) Diana knows how to mask her control through silky "Fox, I know better; and you know I know better" language that skirts his animosity and detection. While Phoebe is cruel and callous and careless-- getting caught-out both times she and Mulder engaged in a relationship of sorts-- Diana is circumspect and calculating and careful. Diana exploits his weak spot-- self-punishment and a desperate need for love-- by disguising her attentions behind loving, near-maternal guidance and protection... something she would have known he lacked after Mulder unveiled his backstory. While Phoebe is reliant on relationships and adoration and praise to feel superior-- unable to face or accept rejection-- Diana doesn't rely on anyone or anything except herself (hence why CSM came to depend on her, too.)
DIANA, THE (PURPOSEFULLY) NOT-SO RAVISHING
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All that logic and canonical consistency aside, the beauty in Mimi Rogers's casting is that she isn't a ravishing beauty to Mulder.
Mulder isn't head-over-heels for her like he was Phoebe Green or Bambi Berenbaum or (later) Scully. In the magazines and tapes that aren't his, in his dreams, in his Kill Switch illusion, Mulder fantasizes about larger-than-life sexuality: the Jersey Devil, Phoebe, Bambi, the blonde bimbo nurses, Jade Afterglow, Scully in sci-fi gear, etc. The exaggeration in their presentation captures his imagination and attention. (We see hints of Diana as a wanton, sexually deviant temptress here and there: namely in Mulder's vision of her in Amor Fati-- post here-- where he is not surprised to see her in aggressive, sexy lingerie-- but is surprised to hear she suddenly wants to settle down and have children, post here. And, again, "settling down" is framed as "It's time to grow up, Fox"-- another maternally slanted manipulation.) In casting Mimi, their dynamic changed from Phoebe-Green-enraptured to old-wound-manipulation.
Mulder himself wasn't gutted over their breakup-- telling Diana, without a shadow in his eyes pointing to past hurts or wounds or pain he'd overcome, "I've done okay without you." It was Diana who walked and Diana who returned; but it's Mulder who didn't ask her to stay either time. She was his partner: not in the "wildly understood definition of that term", but a literal partner who discovered the X-Files alongside him, who spent five years of her life with him, and who left-- without regrets, from either side-- for greener pastures. It had been a comfortable, not passionate, relationship. Afterwards, Mulder was content to burrow down in the basement, alone; and resented any intruder into his sanctum after she left.
And when Diana returns, he's stiff, tense; and takes a while to warm up to her presence. Yes, because of his past with her, yes because he hadn't informed Scully of said past; but mostly because he knows Diana is there for a reason. And, profiler that he is, Mulder suspects he's the reason. And he's right.
DIANA FOWLEY V. DANIEL WATERSTON
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How does Mulder's draw to Diana differ from Scully's draw to Daniel?
Well, firstly, we have to discuss the similarities. Both Diana and Daniel are older partners, and both put down the instincts of their lovers (or would-be lovers, in Scully's case) to assert their own interests and end goals. ...The similarities largely end there.
The differences, however, point to the nuance of their situations.
Mulder isn't drawn to Diana because she was "his mother"-- he was attracted to her because his inner porch bug is drawn to the promise of a light at the end of the tunnel; and always coaxes him into the dangerous dark and straight towards the beam of a bug zapper. In this case, he got caught in the window screen, peering into the glow of a house but unable to advance towards or retreat from it. Diana and he had good times, comfortable times that they could remember fondly later; but their reminiscing consists of her helping on the files, not the years of their relationship beforehand. In essence, they have "the work"-- in whatever current form that was-- between them and nothing more (in contrast to his bond with Scully, which transcends Mulder's search for "the truth.")
Scully is drawn to Daniel because he is "other fathers"-- a man who not only understands her expertise and passion but rewards it with devotion and pride. While Diana left Mulder and was, apparently, perfectly content to be single as she carried out the Syndicate's aims (or because she left her options open to exploit CSM's interest), Daniel mourned and pined after his loss, letting his cracked marriage dissolve completely and abandoning his daughter to-- hopefully, maybe-- run into Scully someday. Diana and Mulder coasted five years-- another sign their relationship didn't healthily benefit either person-- before they decidedly separated. Daniel and Scully had a stormy (near) love affair, and split after the tempestuous blowout.
(By the way, Mulder and Scully, carry out those patterns with their ensuing relationships: Scully moving fast and strong with Jack and Jerse before they separate; and Mulder coasting on from case-to-couch, phone to his ear when he gets lonely at nights. Their partnership ultimately breaks each other's pattern, posts here, here, and here.)
Diana does fall in love with Mulder, though: by One Son, we see she truly has lingering feelings for her ex-- that take a backseat to her Consortium calling (and lack of characterization)-- and by Amor Fati, her affection has grown enough to manifest guilt, shame, and change-- that results in her death. However: the series portrays this as new emotional growth, not a symptom of their past relationship. Mulder doesn't expect that depth of feeling from her in The End nor The Beginning; nor even Two Fathers and One Son (hence his consternation with Scully's "jealous" suspicions, post here.) Again, "I've done okay without you" speaks volumes-- especially with the twinkle Mulder sports to show Diana that, for the first time in his life, he's found a spark: that his current "relationship" isn't comfortable or stagnant or in the past. (Which is why she reads between the lines and plans to break apart the partnership as deftly as possible.)
CONCLUSION
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Hopefully these thoughts helped in some way or form. :DDDDD But what do you think, Anon?
Thanks for reading~
Enjoy!
**Note**: Here's the interview mentioned in the tags.
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flos-obsessivus · 2 hours
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Severin and Ivory Intro!
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You are the king’s loyal retainer, you were once a human turned magical being when you were trapped inside the mirror. And yes, you are that mirror, the very same mirror who is known all across the lands as all encompassing and all knowing. Luckily, when Severin, the current king, your majesty, was about 14, he was able to break the curse that befell upon you, and you were fortunate enough to retain all of the powers that you had when you were still trapped inside the mirror.
Now you follow him like a guard dog, or a lost puppy, just someone who helps Severin in his day to day life. You are actually decent in being a servant funnily enough, and Severin seems to have that same sentiment as he refuses to have other servants serve him, even in waking up, dressing up, and even during bath time. You’re the only one who does everything for him, but it didn’t bother you as much as you are basically inhuman now.
Currently, the kingdom is facing the same pain in the ass from like, a hundred years ago. Ivory, your ex-king, ex-friend, and ex-human being. He’s become a vampire after some kind of breakdown after you admitted that you liked Severins grandfather compared to him. You also did say something about liking him when he was younger because he wasn’t as crazy back then, so now he assumes the form of a child, probably to make you like him again. He grew up normally until he was 19, then he had that breakdown and turned himself into a vampire, and now he’s back to his child form. 
Well, anyways he’s been annoying not only you, but also Severin. He keeps sneaking in the castle to kidnap you but you always manage to avoid him before he does, and if he manages to actually kidnap you, you would just teleport away mainly due to the fact that you still had unfinished work of making Severin that cake that he wanted, which prompts a temper tantrum which causes Ivory to send out a whole monster army in anger. 
In response, there would be an all out war between Ivory and Severin which is NOT ideal when your ideal outcome is where the whole kingdom survives. You had to basically mediate between both parties where you had to essentially beg Severin to let you go with Ivory for the rest of the day so nobody would die. Also, this happens every week to the point that both the human army and the monster army would just stand in attendance and ‘fight’ for like five minutes until Ivory can get in the castle to fight Severin, by then their work is done and they go back to whatever they were doing. Severin and Ivory are also strong enough to not die but still get injured, so you had to patch both of them up while verbally abusing each other. 
You should probably propose a schedule where they can have you within a certain day or something, like how divorced parents agree on a schedule when they take their kids during specific days of the week. That would be ideal.
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A/N I don't know why the fic is taking me so long when this took me like less than an hour. To be fair that one was basically Ivory's background story so... Anyways, here you go! They are officially out of jail yippieeee!!!
Also I might redesign Severin's outfit because it's not cunty enough for me.
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i can fix him your honour *smacks him with the oc-ification hammer*
anyway. enjoy the babygirl-ification of aaron lycan. more stuff below the cut.
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i love the idea of aaron. like, some guy whos hellbent on revenge learning to live and love outside of it?? and he finds not only love but a new home in someone else searching for the same thing after they've both lost so much??? UGH ITS SO GOOD. and then jesson fucking. fumbled it. SO BAD. im still mad abt it almost like. ten yrs later (how tf is diaries this old i swear it was still airing like last yr). so uh. ive tried to go in n fix him. i swear. but in the process a Lot of his backstory n stuff has been overhauled and im sorry to all the canon aaron truthers but the way that jesson handled his arc n stuff was God Awful and i hate it. so uh. yeah.
aaron shows up in ashes, ashes way earlier than he does in canon diaries - hes following the high priest's trail, and when he catches wind of him travelling to phoenix drop to officiate a wedding and track down his supposedly dead brother, he follows the rumours and shows up right after alexis is cursed. he forms a sort of truce with aph (although garroth is hesitant to trust him, given that he wants to murder his younger brother n garroth still believes that zane can be saved) and fucks off again until they meet up again when aph n co are snooping around pikoro trying to find lord luke so that she can sign a trade deal with him - aaron's (rightfully) convinced that zane has something to do with luke's disappearance, and once all that tomfoolery is settled, he decides to return to phoenix drop with aphmau, believing that the impending war will offer the best opportunity for him to finally kill zane.
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as we all know, though, this... really doesn't go to plan. they get trapped in irene's cathedral - which is more of a labyrinth with religious imagery plastered everywhere - and it isn't aaron who lands the killing blow on his mortal enemy, but rather garroth, who gets possessed by esmund's relic. then, when they manage to escape thanks to zoey, ten years have passed and the cathedra of irene (the religious organisation that zane was in charge of as high priest) has all but collapsed. up until this point, all aaron has really been living for is destroying the cathedra, and with his job already done for him by the passage of time, he's now sort of... lost, is the best way i can really describe it. he decides to stick around in phoenix drop - although he doesn't really want to admit it, the people are nice, he's become friends with garroth and katelyn, and it's a safe place for him to stay while he figures out his next moves. it also doesn't help that aph keeps roping him into her adventures (although he secretly enjoys having something to do).
it's through these new connections that he learns to start opening up about his past; how he was raised as the heir to the lordship of a hunting town up north named falconclaw, how the cathedra ordered its destruction and the murder of all its people due to them allegedly being descended from shad, the destroyer, how he came back from a hunting trip to find all his family and friends dead, how the grief manifested in a long-dormant magick that causes anything he lays eyes on to disintegrate, only to be controlled by an enchanted blindfold given to him by a passing elf who took pity on him. over time, he learns to control his magick, leading to him starting to leave his blindfold off - a sort of symbol of his willingness to trust in others, and to trust himself around others. most of this is me wanting his fuckass bandanna to have some sort of meaning behind it outside of "uwu edgy man with edgy outfit" but uh yeah. idk.
anyway, after a while he decides to stick around permanently right before the gang heads to gal'ruk to track down carin valkrum, an ex-juror who went missing decades prior, who katelyn is convinced knows of the whereabouts of the keeper's relic.
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which means an outfit change. i tried to make his second winter outfit noticeably lighter than his first one, but still incorporating his trademark reds and browns. there isn't too much else to say abt this outfit? i dont think?? like there isnt a ton of lore stuff tied up in it except "oh hes going to a cold place lol". uhh i guess i could mention that he has a fucked up knee from a hunting accident when he was younger, hence the wrapped up knee?? idk. also he has a lil brooch w a falcon claw on it as a sort of homage to falconclaw. and his fucked up eyes r a reference to his eyes being fucked up in mys. yeah. idk.
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uhh casual outfit. i like to think that he asked laurance for help w finding something to wear that wasnt super casual for more formal events (like the monthly potluck dinners that phoenix drop holds for everyone to celebrate the new moon) bc garroth is fucking useless when it comes to clothes n katelyn isnt that much better so laurance, having grown up in meteli surrounded by pirates, threw a billowy white button down at him n told him to go ham. i think laurance also lowkey influences aaron to get the falcon tattoo at some point - i dont think he loses the brooch, but since its so obviously a reference to his birthplace in ru'aun and could potentially get him and the rest of the gang hurt or even killed once they decide to travel to tu'la, he decides to get the kārearea tattooed over his heart as an homage to his family. anyway, it's in tu'la where he learns that he isn't the only survivor of falconclaw as he had previously thought: the werewolf pack that he'd grown up alongside (blaze, dottie, maria, rylan, and daniel) are still alive and well, as is melissa, although she's been cursed w what will later become known as the "ultima" curse due to her striking a deal with the demon warlock in an attempt to restore falconclaw. anyway, it's pretty emotional, esp since both sides have long thought the other to be suuuper dead. the scars on aaron's forearm are from when he n blaze got into a tussle as kids.
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and finally, his destroyer form! after katelyn finally kills ivy n recovers shad's relic, there's a lot of debate as to what to do with it; some folks think its best to find it a host, others want to try and destroy it, and others want to simply lock it away in a pocket dimensino or something to keep it safe. eventually, aaron decides that, in order to protect the family he's created and the family he's rediscovered, it's probably best for him to take on the mantle of the destroyer of the second war of the magi, especially once it's revealed that the aaron of the first war (shad) cleaved his soul in two once he began to get corrupted by the influence of the void - the half that was corrupted would become the shadow lord, whereas the uncorrupted half would go onto reincarnate like the other souls of the divine warriors (excluding irene). i'm still fiddling around w how the second war of the magi ends, but my thinking as of right now is that the first war ended with irene burning away her first physical form to seal the shadow lord in the nether, the second war (mcd) ending w the restoration n reunification of shads soul n the divine warriors sealing away most magicks as a temporary stopgap against the spread of the void, and the third war (mys) being the war in which the void is finally defeated.
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and finally some headshots. i personally headcanon aaron as being autistic as fuck n being the kind of autistic where he isn't super expressive (sorta like garroth), although a little less stern. speaking of, i really wanted him n garroth to be sort of foils for each other: namely, where aaron was raised to only ever see lordship as a privilege, garroth was raised in an environment that led him to believe that lordship was only ever a burden. anyway, they're best mates n i will die on this hill. yeah i know that in the first war esmund n shad didnt like each other that much (as an understatement) but something something healing the wrongs of the past with each reincarnation cycle something something they're best friends now and you can't stop me. also he and aph do end up together but it takes sooo fucking long, like those two are the most awkward motherfuckers this side of ru'aun and it takes longer for them to confess than it does for garroth and laurance to confess and thats Saying Something. like. c'mon. it was stupidly out of character for this wet noodle of a man to hook up w aph in the middle of s2. tell me that u don't know how to write ur characters without telling me that u don't know how to write ur characters n all that jazz.
anyway. gumboot rambles once again. its 2am at the time of posting this n i need to go sleep so uh. yeah. dante or travis is up next mostly bc aph has like thirteen outfit changes before s3 n im dreading drawing them all so yeah.
feel free to ask any questions or anything!! :D
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dollgirlvoid · 2 days
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Thoughts on HDG
TW: trauma, human domestication guide. This one has noticed that Human Domestication guide has been getting more popular around here lately, and it has some things to say about it. This one hates it. An ex friend recommended HDG to this one, before it knew it was a doll. It was expecting something fun and kinky. It ended up being horribly hurt. HDG was one of the most horrifying, emotionally scarring thing this one has ever experienced. Because of HDG, this one nearly ended its own life, numerous times. Despite about a year passing, it still deals with the hurt and trauma from reading HDG, and despite all this one can do, it still struggles to move on from it. Whenever it feels an urge to self harm, it goes straight to HDG. Empty spaces saved its life. it realised that it wasnt a person, and found great comfort in the stories about witches and handlers and dolls. But now, its seeing more and more posts about HDG, and every time, its brought back to a dark, horrible place. Its not enough to have tumblr block that tag, because it sees the blocked content, the blocked tags, and its always taken by a powerful urge to see the HDG content, to self harm.
Then theres also the posts about how all trans women love HDG. This one is a trans woman, and it hates HDG with all of itself. It hurts every time it sees one of those posts. Its told, not explicitly, that it isnt a real trans woman. that its gender identity and expression isnt real or valid. HDG isnt empowering trans women. Its ailenating and hurting them. this isnt even getting into the racist undertones of HDG. This one is not qualified to speak on them. it could go on much longer about this.
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nicka-nell · 2 days
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Pairing: Suna x reader, Semi x reader, best friend Atsumu x reader
Note: Rockstar/Band-AU, angst, hurt, mdni, SMAU, text part
Addition: Hi you all! I had a lot of fun with this request. This is the end of the mini-smau for now. I would be happy if you tell me if you like stuff like this or if you like a HC in one post more. ☺️����
Prev | Chapter 8 (END)
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It was strange... Suna hadn’t had such a sickening feeling in his stomach for a long time. As if his stomach was spinning, as if he was about to vomit. But it wasn’t because of the alcohol, which he had been drinking almost like water recently. It was because he had seen the photos of you. The fact that he had read the news about you and Semi. Just the thought of seeing you with another man makes him angry. Jealous… 
“Shit!” he curses and slumps down on his bed, looking at his phone. At a photo that a paparazzo had taken of you. It’s not really sharp but Suna clearly recognizes your facial features and those of Semi... only that Semi is much too close to you for his taste… And yet you look happy... It frustrates him… Letting out a sigh, he closes the site with the picture, searches for some bars to blow off some steam, to numb his feelings. 
- - - - - -
“Semi, Semi Eita? Is that you?” it suddenly slips out of Suna’s mouth as he stands at the bar counter and sees a man who looks too much like the rising idol. The man puts his credit card in his pocket before he stares in Suna’s direction.
It is obviously Semi Eita… How pathetic… Life really wants to punish him even more than it already has. “Suna...” Semi says a little more quietly so that the other party guests don’t turn around and, in the worst case, recognize one of them. 
He takes a step towards Suna, standing proud and tall in front of the equally tall man with green eyes.
“Is there anything I can help you with?” Semi asks, although he can guess what Suna wants from him. Suna looks past Semi, checking if you are anywhere to be seen. But he doesn’t see you. You’re probably in one of the VIP rooms, or Semi is here alone. But no, why should he go here alone?
As far as Suna could figure out, Semi doesn’t live anywhere near here. So why would he go to a local bar like this if he didn’t live here? You must be around here somewhere. This is his chance. Probably his last chance to talk to you. And even if he has to open every door to every single VIP room. But first he has to get past Semi. Giving Semi a slightly arrogant look, Suna puts his hands in his pockets. “As if... can’t a famous person just go out and party? After all, you’re here too.” 
Semi wrinkles his eyebrows skeptically. “But you spoke to me first... so what do you want? Do you want to talk about your ex-girlfriend?” Semi says a little more gruffly, but Suna continues to act nonchalant, even though his heart skips a beat at the word ‘ex-girlfriend’. 
“And what do you have to do with her?” he asks in an indifferent tone again, as if he doesn’t already know that there are several headlines about the two of you. Just as Semi is about to speak, the tall man feels a hand on his back and a few seconds later, you are standing next to him. “Eita... Tsumu met an old school friend and wanted to stay a little longer. Let’s go ho-” just as you’re about to finish your sentence, you see Semi’s grim eyes and look over to the front.
Your eyes widen, your mouth is suddenly dry and your hand, which was resting gently on Semi’s back a moment ago, clenches into a fist. What on earth is Suna doing here? It’s been so many months since he kicked you out of the band, but the betrayal is still buried deep inside you. Seeing him brings back all your feelings. His hurtful words, that cold look when he told you that nobody wants to hear your voice and how bad you are. His words had hurt you more back then than being kicked out of the band.
Suna’s heart starts to beat faster. It pained him when he finally saw you again. You may be wearing a face mask and a cap, but Suna would always recognize you, even from several meters away, with dyed hair, tinted contact lenses… He could always spot you. These green eyes look at you with an expression you can’t sort. Suna wants to say something, but he can’t think of any words. He just stands there, rooted to the spot.
“Eita... let’s go home...” you say, a little agitated, and grab his arm. Semi nods in understanding and takes the initial steps out of the club with you by his side. “Wait, let’s talk, please... P-please...” Suna says suddenly, instinctively trying to grab your wrist, but Semi stands between you, grasping Suna’s arm and giving him a serious look. He doesn’t say a word, doesn’t want to make a fuss in front of so many people, just shakes his head before letting Suna go again.
“I don’t want to talk, Rintarou... Never again...” you reply in a cold, slightly hurt tone before walking out with Semi, not looking back in Suna’s direction.
Suna stands there frozen, not noticing the one groupie who approaches him and shakes his arm. “Oh my God, are you Suna? Can we take a picture together?” He doesn’t hear her. There are only two things going on in his head right now.
Atsumu, one of his closest friends, his bandmate was in contact with you all the time. Atsumu knew all the time where you lived, how you were doing… And yet he told him nothing. Suna cannot believe it. He feels betrayed by one of his closest friends. What about the others? Kita, Osamu, Yuki? Are any of them still in contact with you and no one has said anything? Suna can’t describe the feeling inside him right now.
He is angry, frustrated. His whole body feels warm and he can’t think straight right now. He feels like everyone has lied to him, lied to his face repeatedly, and watched him break down internally with a smile on their faces.
They all knew that he regretted it. That he kept trying to talk to you. It feels like everyone has turned their backs on him. Have let him down. “Shit...” Suna laughs in sheer frustration. Is that what it’s like to be deceived? Did you feel the same way back then?
Right now, Suna would like to go into every VIP room until he finds Atsumu just to pick a fight with him. Confront him. But he has no right to do so. Nevertheless, Suna would rather talk to you than to kick Atsumu’s ass. Again something shakes his arm and only now does he notice the fan girl. She looks at him questioningly.
When did she get here? What does this girl want from him? Instead of answering her question, Suna pulls his arm away and starts moving with a somewhat agitated, “Sorry, I have to go.” The girl seems disappointed, but Suna has no time for that.
Without turning in her direction again, Suna storms out of the bar, out into the now chilly night. Everything is already dark, only the faint illumination of the lanterns is still on. He turns to the left, then to the right. But you are not there. His legs instinctively start moving in the hope that he might find the right path. And it seems as if the gods are on his side. Because it doesn’t take long before he spots you with Semi on the other side of the street at the entrance to a small park. Uncharacteristically for him, he smiles faintly when he sees you, studies you and takes another step in your direction. But he soon realizes that the gods are not on his side after all. On the contrary… It’s as if they want to laugh at him.
Yet, he watches as Semi takes your hand, brings it to his still masked lips like a gentleman and kisses the back of your hand before taking a step backwards and pulling you towards him with a spin. Happily, you laugh and land in his arms, nestled against his chest, as you bury your head in the fabric of his jacket.
Your new lover runs his free hand over the back of your neck, strolling forward to your chin to pull your face up in his direction in a tender way. He glances around, but the street is empty. Suna is standing in a dark part of the street, so neither of you can see him. After making sure that nobody is looking, Semi takes off his face mask, slides his long fingers under the loop of your own mask before releasing it on one side and leaning down to give you a kiss that is so loving and gentle.
A kiss that Suna had always given you at the beginning of the relationship. A kiss that he would love to give you again. But instead, another man is kissing you now. Seems to make you happier than Suna ever could have. He knew that it would happen at some point. That you would find a new partner one day. But why now? And why does it hurt so much?
Suna feels sick again. He feels like he has to throw up and at the same time, it is as if he has run twenty kilometers. His chest hurts, he finds it hard to breathe and his eyes... they burn. They feel warm... and suddenly his vision blurs before something warm is running down his cheeks… Are those... tears? Is he crying?
Is he crying because another man is kissing you? No… It’s something else… It is the despair, the realization that he has actually lost the person who was so important to him back then… Still is. The realization that he took a wrong path. That the greed was too strong and he had lost sight of who and what had led him to form a band in the first place, to become successful. And that he had lost sight of the fact that he never wanted to form the band to become a worldwide celebrity, but to watch you shine on stage, blossom and live the dream you always wanted to live, while he supports you from the side with his guitar and vocals. He wanted to see you happy. See you smile and stay by your side.
And now... you seem to be happy… Very much so. However, without him. And knowing that this man, Semi Eita... that he makes you happy in a way that Suna couldn’t, is killing him. He feels like the road that lies ahead of him and separates him from you cannot be crossed. That you are no longer reachable for him, even though you are so close. Suna could stretch out his arm, maybe take twenty or thirty steps to catch up with you, hold you tight… But what next?
Suna looks at his hand, which he had unconsciously stretched forward. It trembles before falling back down, almost numb. He opens his mouth... but nothing comes out. It feels as if someone is choking him. Frustrated, he bites his lip and does nothing more than watch you move away from him, hand in hand with your new lover, until you are no longer in sight. It’s over… And it was his fault. His greed...
“Please... I’m sorry...” he whispers and looks into nothing but the darkness for a few more minutes. To where he saw you. Where he heard your laughter and saw the shining eyes that had unconsciously always made him smile back then. But now it is clear that all of this will remain just a memory for him. 
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thedreadvampy · 3 months
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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'
#red said#recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis#like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes#and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not#for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening#i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine#as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital#as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin#ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes#some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am#bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me#like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD#there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife#but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't#tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us#like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well#i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point#anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also#been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them#i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it#most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables#honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk#is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry
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lovelookspretty · 15 hours
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lover of mine
drew starkey x actress!reader au
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— in which drew and y/n, secretly exes, must fake date in order to keep the peace at a mutual friend’s wedding, but the forced proximity makes them question whether they ever truly moved on.
warnings: cute little way to end the night .. OR SO U THINK
one | two | three | four | five
authors note: 😋😋 dont be mad guys im writing the next part asap. if you arent already part of the tag list, let me know in the replies, anons, or dms !! notifications are always on <3
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(pretend he’s wearing the same clothes stop)
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Liked by 14,082 others
dstarkeynews Drew and Y/N’s first appearance in a year on September 30th in Santa Barbara, California!
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user1 i haven’t heard about them in forever
user2 ALMOST HAD HIM
user3 I thought they broke up 😭😭
↳ user4 i think they’re on and off
user5 I remember them from 2018 they’re so cute!
user6 tbh i’m happy for them !!
↳ user6 i’m crying .
user7 y’all don’t love them like i do
user8 i was really hoping they didn’t break up omg
user9 they thought they could keep it a secret 😒
user10 WERE THOSE FLOWERS FOR Y/N ????!?$:!:! OMGMGF 😭
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you’re carrying a basket of groceries as you walk with leila through the area. there’s not much on your mind besides checking items off of leila’s list. and it feels nice not having to worry about anything because leila makes you feel normal, makes you and drew feel normal.
speaking of, drew’s just trailing behind you both, though he checks out a few things whenever he sees something he wants to try.
eventually he comes up from your left side and places something he’s bought into your basket, then takes it from you so he can hold your hand with his opposite hand. it feels so natural that you don’t even react, and even if you did acknowledge it, you don’t care.
“it’s so nice to just be out here like regular human beings,” you say, though you note that there’s always a few following behind you three but keep their distance to be a little respectful of your space.
you can hear them giggling every now and then or saying ‘hi’ to their videos that they capture you in, but you don’t think much of it. you think it’s adorable.
drew, however, is itching to get to the car and go home already. leila’s complained twice already that they haven’t completed her list but you’ve already bought everything important for tonight, so you just suggest you go home so both parties still benefit.
leila’s a stubborn one but she gives in when drew is pleading with his palms together. you laugh when she says she can’t stand seeing his “stupid fucking puppy dog eyes”.
when you’re done with your little mini-trip, you return to the car. leila is skipping over with two bags of things while you and drew walk together behind her, swinging your hands back and forth.
he opens your door for you and takes the basket from you so he can keep it in the backseat with leila who happily takes it, and you slide into the passenger’s seat without a thought.
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“come on,” his voice pulls you out of the tiktok you’re watching, and you switch your phone off, leaving it on the bed as you drag a blanket with you.
drew’s heading downstairs and he dives right into the sofa, awaiting for everyone to come down already. you wrap the blanket around your body as you shuffle over, seating yourself by his legs.
he sits up instinctively and wraps his arms around you, the side of his head resting on your shoulder as you look around. only a few of you are there—you’re just missing gia and libby who, you guess, are getting the snacks and drinks. and you’re right.
“incoming everyone! don’t be alarmed,” libby says as she and gia make way with the food, and you’re in awe at the spread they’re providing.
“you have your homemade sandwiches—”
“that leila bought from the store,” libby is playing gia’s truth echo that makes you and the others laugh.
“assortment of chips!”
“that i got carried away with and ate half of!”
“can’t go wrong with your candies!”
“theo you owe me fifteen dollars!”
“what?”
“and lastly,” gia closes it out as libby runs back to the kitchen to bring over the tray of cups and drinks. you see oscar rub his hands together mischievously as leila practically drools at the sight. “our drinks!”
libby holds up a cup, “with your name on this complimentary glass that you get to take home after the trip.”
you woo as the glass cups get passed down, and you compare yours with drews while giggling about the free gift. you reach for one of the bottles and fill your glass with it, then take a sip.
“this is what you were working all day on while we were away?” leila asks the girls, extremely impressed by how much dedication they had to providing everyone snacks for her movie night. it essentially is just putting the items into cute bowls and calling it a day, but still. it made her heart warm.
you reach forward and grab a few of the candies and hand one to drew, hinting that you want to try it together. these were purchased by you because you were curious about the taste earlier while you were out.
“ready?” you ask him quickly as he already knows the drill, getting prepared to try it as you count it off. “one, two—” you lean your head back to let the multiple candies you have slide into your mouth while drew just pops his one into his mouth.
as you chew, you raise your eyebrows in surprise. they're really good, and he nods, a small ‘oh yeah’ escaping his lips as he sucks some of the chocolate off of his fingers. you reach over to grab the small bowl, then keep it for yourself without saying anything.
you and drew share a blanket so you’re able to hide the bowl on your lap while he reaches to fill his glass with a drink. oscar hits play on the first movie and you lean into drew’s side to watch the movie this way.
you fall asleep during the second movie, long story short. you can’t help it. but at least you last longer than leila, who fell asleep toward the end of the first one. she was the first one to fall asleep during her own movie night.
drew’s arm tightens around you for a moment, and he shifts to look down at you, finally noticing you’ve completely drifted off.
with a sigh, he decides to call it a night and he rises, sliding out from under you. you stir but don’t fully wake, instinctively curling into the empty spot left by his body.
he hesitates, but then scoops you up gently. you don’t wake up even a bit while your head rests against his chest and he carries you upstairs to the guest room.
the room is already dimly lit by the moonlight filtering in through the windows. he carefully lays you down on the bed, your body finding the most comfortable position as he covers you with the blanket. your breathing is steady as you fall deeper into sleep, and he stands there for a moment, watching you in the soft light, before he moves to sit at the edge of the bed, his fingers brushing against your leg as he retrieves his phone from his back pocket.
for the first time all day, drew unlocks his phone, the screen lighting up with a shit ton of notifications. missed calls, texts, and a few unread emails flash across the screen, and he scrolls through them with a frown, trying to catch up.
as he gets back up to return to his side of the bed, he swipes through several messages, most of them from his close friends—some teasing, some concerned—before he pauses on one that makes his heart sink.
his eyes narrow, his thumb hovering over the text as his mind races. he was expecting a couple of messages, but not this. not this many. his phone buzzes again, a few more messages lighting up the screen, and he rubs a hand across his face, letting out a quiet, frustrated breath.
his gaze flickers to you again, making sure you’re still fast asleep. the last thing he wants is to wake you up with this, but he glances back down at his phone.
he presses the power button on his phone with a little more force than necessary, the screen going black, then he tosses the phone onto the nightstand with a dull thud. he quickly winces when the sound is a little louder than he expected.
his heart skips a beat when you stir, your eyes fluttering open just slightly, still half-asleep.
“star?” you mumble softly, the name slipping out instinctively.
drew freezes, his gaze immediately shifting to you as you shift under the covers. he forces a smile, leaning forward a little, his voice low and soothing. “sorry,” he murmurs. “just dropped my phone. go back to sleep, okay?”
you blink at him, your eyes barely open, but you manage a small nod, already too drowsy to fully process what’s going on. you can’t read that he’s just lied to you.
“mmf, okay…” you mumble, your body curling into the pillow as you drift back into sleep.
he lets out a quiet sigh of relief, watching as your breathing evens out again. for a moment, the tension in his chest eases, but only just. he leans back, letting his head rest against the headboard, staring up at the ceiling for a few moments before turning off the bedside lamp.
as the darkness settles around him, the weight of everything presses down harder, and he turns onto his side, facing you. the soft glow of moonlight still filters through the window, and you look so . . . peaceful.
he stays like that for a while, watching you sleep, his mind swirling with thoughts he can’t quiet.
but eventually, drew pulls the blanket up over his shoulder and closes his eyes, trying to shut out the noise in his head and go to sleep.
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@rubixgsworld @itgirlbrina @thepopcultureaddict @samsmelodrama @kissfinalgirl @itsamegazaddysworld @willowpains @toterry @wearemadeofstardust0 @maybankslover @itneverendshere @httpsdrewstarkey
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lunarharp · 8 months
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wip thing...
of my bg3 avatar hellebore. i also did some casual nude studies of my 3 characters which i'll put under a cut... rather unlike me after all. (so WARNING for abrupt non-sexual full Artistic nudity lol...,,,,) (< won't be making a habit of this)
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they mean the world to me
#bg3 spoilers#?? idk. gith look so..Emaciated. And long. i guess we don't eat on the astral plane :) anyway..well..too much to say.....#it is very very very depressing having to live in the Real World after that final playthrough meant so very much to me.#i normally feel Hope & suchlike after finishing a highly immersive emotional game..but it's too hard this time and it hurtsssss lol yippee#i appreciate bg3 very much for being a place where i could access the concept of nudity & such like in a way that finally felt comfortable.#bodies are inherently non-sexual. they just Are a Fact of Life. this game being NORMAL about nudity from the character creation screen#makes it possible for someone like me to actually have a chance at accessing sensuality in a way that feels comfortable from there.#dont feel like putting it into words further. im ace. just very grateful to this game. even despite the horrors i will never ever forget it#augoh..gugf.. want to go back. my friends & love are in there.....i'm supposed to just move on? in the real world??? THIS place???? UHH????#my characters canonically look like that too!! i see them as intersex and not so much trans. They just look that way.#Diversity win!!! the people who enacted horrors upon you and are trying to kill you again respect your pronouns!!!! <3#I FAILED HONOUR MODE IN THE STUPIDEST WAY POSSIBLE..ACCIDENTALLY TOUCHED AN ITEM. MY LOVER TOUCHED SOME BLOOD-TOUCHED RAG ITEM @ THE CRECHE#AND MY PEOPLE MASSACRED US... YOU BELOVED PRAT. OF COURSE IT WOULD BE YOU AND IN THIS WAY#grateful for love triangle chaos...INTENSE EX DRAMA... IT HAD MAJOR REPURCUSSIONS THIS TIME...ohh so very much happened ohh my dear#truly don't know how to face the Real World now for real. I Don't Know. something has snapped. ive realised twt just makes me feel sad lol#if something in my spare time isn't at least half as fun as bg3....like.. it's not good enough. god we only have one wild and precious life#being Online makes me feel a loneliness so wretched and painful and horrible i really don't think this is the answer.#Why did you even start drawing in the first place? Why did you start this?#For real..the need to work this out and decide what on earth i'm going to do now has presented itself. Why try to get better..why be online#someone who has an imagination that can keep them so happy and fulfilled...has no business also feeling a loneliness as profound as this.#why was someone THIS introverted and withdrawn and anxious also cursed with such a restlessness?#What are you going to DO now? because hellebore and their lover are fine....... So what about you...?#hellebore..😭😭 AUUGHH!! I JUST WANT TO GO TO MY BED IN THE INN...PLAY ON MY VIOLIN THAT'S WHAT I'D DO!!!! i'd drink some ALE DAMNIT!!!!!#i was rereading My Lesbian Experience With Loneliness- the only time i've seen this level of emotional isolation depicted-and was grateful.#but then i read her latest book and now she has a debilitating substance abuse situation and it's upsetting.#I hope she finds what she was looking for. I hope we all make it. kind of wild that i dont do such major self-sabotage at this point myself#I truly think anyone who manages to find dear friends and achieve fulfillment and happiness with others outside themselves are amazing.#I see it happen from my tower. i hope we all make it. I hope we can make it through everything to come.#Why did i say all this on drawings of my characters naked. ah who even cares any more......
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caimitos · 4 months
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saw a post about projecting your ethnicity onto a character and started missing vespa ilkay. so so bad
#pov u grow up in a 3rd world country(/planet) where healthcare workers are exported by the thousands like cheap produce to richer countries#it's your ticket out of poverty as long as you can deal with the loneliness the separation from everyone you know the discrimination etc#ive never talked about my hc that vespas mother was one of them sending money every month visiting every couple of years until it just stop#like why return to the swamps when youre doing fine working on a richer planet w much better living conditions#cost of living rises every year. sending home a % of your salary used to be enough to support your husband and daughter and then it isnt#you know how it goes#vespa is also dead set on this path until ranga realizes that hemorrhaging healthcare workers leaves them with little to none of their own#students on scholarships or in community/state universities are bound by return service agreements and are forbidden to leave the country#until theyve rendered a few years of work on ranga to pay back their tuition + as a really shitty solution to the brain drain problem#this is real in my country btw but my professors say a lot of ppl do break their rsa's and fucked off to work in other countries LOL#our state unis can barely afford decent facilities they do nottt have the budget to chase down their own alumni in other countries!#but the mental image is a bit funny#vespa ilkays first crime: tinakasan ang rsa#i do also think it lines up with her having a network of med friends everywhere in the galaxy (heart of it all) you kind of go into pre/med#expecting most of your classmates to leave to work in other countries eventually. mine are aiming for the usa / uae / europe / japan etc#anyway whether vespa breaks her rsa or not she leaves ranga asap decides to switch careers and the rest is history#i also deeply love the fact that she's superstitious i'm very sad it wasn't highlighted more (i've only heard s1-3)#as someone who did grow up in a rural area and went to more albularyos/folk healers than doctors in my childhood. (they never failed me)#lots of folk illnesses (ex. balis; pasma) local medical superstitions (dont eat noodles in hospital; youll have a really toxic shift) etcc#theres also a lot of potential in tying her past as a rangian + med student + assassin to me idk how to word this properly#being raised on cautionary tales of not to touch/disturb anything in the swamps then being given free reign to poke & prod at things in her#lab classes (now with the proper ppe)....she was having so much fun with the curemother prime too lmao#years of walking hanging bridges docks boathouses in ranga etc gave her great balance & stealth#cracking open alien shellfish in the swamps to cutting open bodies for studying then for assassination....#I MISS HER SO MUCH BALIK KN SAKEN 😭😭😭😭😭😭#i get why most people + the canon focuses on her being an assassin bc people find that cooler i guess#but vespa being a swamp girl > 3rd world med student > assassin is so personal To Me. the whole pipeline. eugh.#skl.txt
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fishandshesmygills · 3 months
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i want my friend's ex to die so bad holy shit ive never wanted anyone dead this badly in my life
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sysig · 10 months
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Did you expect Rescuing Rusty in 2023??? (RR is @zeejax‘s ♥) (Patreon)
Trick question! Even I wasn’t expecting Rescuing Rusty, but since it was up next on my fics to vet for construction, I had to give it a reread!
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Didn’t it turn out lovely 💕 There’s not a lot of sky-related imagery in RR, but I couldn’t not go with this colour - it’s an even richer rust colour IRL :D
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The spine ended up being big enough that I was able to sneak in two bookmarks! One for Zoom (the black) and one for Rusty (the red)
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Even though they sit separately, Rusty’s still crosses over Zoom’s hehe ♥
#My art#Rescuing Rusty#Rusty#Zoom#They get a digital doodle since I was rereading while in the digital warmup mindset haha#They just barely snuck in! Good for them ♥ They are still good lads :)#Nowadays the miasma of positive feelings has gotten very fuzzy and indistinct but boy do I still remember how Big those feelings were lol#NPG good! EX good! NPG and EX being friends good!!#Rescuing Rusty is charming as always :) It's a snuggle-up kind of fic I just feel cozy thinking about and reading it ♪#It's funny as well since I started rereading before picking out the cover - looking for which one would be the most thematic lol#And I ended up just reading a few chapters all at once 'cause I was having a good time with it! Oops reading lol#It was also an experiment >:3c Since out home printer is kinda ehhhh currently - the poor old thing haha - I took a trip to the library#Our local library allows up to 10 free greyscale prints a day so ♪ Slowly but surely I'd walk to the library and come back 10 pages richer#I've figured out how to take books out of the library and not have to return them! Libraries hate this one weird trick!#Lol ♪#So yeah :D Other than the cover and the first page (since I hadn't figured if the library could use the Minecraft font yet - they can!)#This is a ''free'' printed book :D I mean - other than walking to and from the library and construction and ribbons lol#The guts of the book were paid with taxes lol ♫#It was well worth it :) It's good to walk!#And I am happy to have it physically :D
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