#Cave Boy au

[dcxdpdabbles]

Ooh I got something for you.

Cave Danny leaves the house, and comes back with a small child. He of course will be taking the child with him when he leaves, the child attacked him and tried to steal his food, so he must WANT to come with Danny. Stop laughing Jason.

I'll do you one better.

So this takes place before Danny goes on his solo trip to the mall and KOs the Joker.

Cave!boy Danny isn't allowed near humans or to leave the manor- to keep the cover story for his dimension traveling- but he is permitted to take walks on Wayne's property.

So Bruce opens the door to tell Danny that dinner is ready, and Bruce is stunned to see him sitting in the middle of the room surrounded by raccoons, birds, squirrels, and some rabbits.

Danny looks up at Bruce with a bright sparkling smile "Aren't they lovely!?"

The rest of the Bats look at Damian and respond, "Huh.

They never knew Bruce liked animals as a kid as much as Damian. Alfred laughs, saying that he used to chase out rats all the time because young Bruce kept scooping them up in the streets and bringing them home.

"Where are the bats?" Steph asks looking at the menagerie that Brucie snuck in. He got them from the property so she suprise he didn't grab some from the caves.

"No. Bats are evil" Brucie says with narrow eyes. "They remind me of tiny vampires. Fruitloop is a vampire"

Jason suddenly cracks up "I forgot Bruce is scared of Bats! That's why he dressed up as bat-man! To be fear!"

Dick laughs alongside him, voice going low and inheriting a growl " I am the night. I am the vengeance. I am the greatest horror to a fully grown man- a bat!"

Alfred laughs with the family until he sees one of the raccoons bite Brucie and all but launches himself at him with a rabies shot. "BLOODY HELL NOT AGAIN!"

[solifelessblog]

Mini comic for the occasion, Hunter wonders for their future and of course Darius assures him that there's nothing that they can't stop together… yes

Please reblog, don’t repost :)

[puppetmaster13u]

I love this Au so much and I love the idea of the league thinking that Alfred is the one who built/created the batfam thanks to misunderstandings.

Alfred is unimpressed with the time that Bruce has brought Dick back- and brought guests back!- on a school night.

Au belongs to my mutual @phoenixcatch7 and you deserve to check them out <3

[sun-e-chips]

@daycarefriendpickup magma drawing of moon from my waterpark au!

Tiki-bar refreshments anyone?

[caliburn-not-calculator]

Coloured sketchs from various maxim VR-LA mermaid aus…

The scales are so fun, shinyyyyyy

[mwahmimi]

Nancy and Robin invite Steve and Eddie over for dinner, Nancy’s spent hours preparing a huge roast dinner and Robin’s decorated the table with origami swan napkins. (Because of course she knows how to do that.) They picked a beautiful bottle of red wine and placed the Wheeler’s finest glasses out on the table.

Steve eats so graciously because his parents forced him to know table manners so he never embarrassed them when they want to fancy dinners at their other rich friend’s houses. He knows all of the courteous things to do, how to present his plate when he’s finished eating and he remembers to bring dessert as a thank you gift for having them over.

But Eddie? Eddie’s flicking food across the table. He’s picking his food up with his hands and gnawing on it like a caveman because he’s so comfortable with his friends. He has no idea that Nancy and Robin wanted to play house as it were. He tries his hardest to use the fancy cutlery when Steve shoots him a look but he can’t seem to get the right grip and tries to cut a roast potato and he accidentally flicks gravy up onto the Wheeler’s white painted walls.

He drinks a little too much wine and then opens up his backpack and slams a 6 pack of beer onto the table, opening up a can and shot-gunning it, expecting the trio to applaud when he finishes it and lets out a loud burp. But they just look at him like he’s an animal and they’re on safari.

“This was fun, we should do this at your place next time” Nancy giggles, and Robin nods in agreement. Steve whispers “sorry” under his breath and just laughs, smiling over at his boyfriend. He may not be house trained, but if nothing he’s amusing.

[sui-imi]

the birthday boy! (+ his bitty)

[raticalshoez]

And I'd hope that if I find the strength to walk out, you'd stay the hell out of my way.

Just finished the fic You Could've Applied Online and it permanantly altered my brain chemistry...

Versions without text:

[daylightdiaz]

this picture is so boyband au coded i’m afraid

[moopbox]

I figured out how to draw Cave Johnson

(Expect more of him)

[luxaofhesperides]

those who serve.

CHAPTER FIVE: a mission.

read the previous chapters here or read the whole fic on ao3.

surprise! it's time for an alfred pov. 5k words of it, in fact.

. . .

“Robbery two blocks away, due west from you, Nightwing,” Alfred reports, eyes flicking over the map of Gotham. Different spots are lighting up as calls come in about disturbances or crimes. Alarms go off and known criminal hideouts blink rapidly, demanding attention as Oracle’s system automatically updates from her network of cameras.

It’s a busy night as usual, running comms for the Bats. He can only be grateful that all they’ve run into so far is petty crime; no rogues are striking out, which means plans are still being made, but that’s a problem for later.

For now, Alfred is glad his wards are as safe as they can be, swinging around Gotham to fight crime.

“On it!” Nightwing replies, and his marker on the map moves through the streets quickly.

The others are scattered around the city, working in pairs, save for Nightwing who flits to and fro, joining everyone for a few streets before going off on his own again. They rarely split up from each other and always return to each other before Alfred can berate them. It’s a nice night. Long, as they always are, but he can’t rest until he sees everyone back safe and sound. 

The years are heavy on him, weighing him down. Danny’s assistance around the manor has been wonderful, but there’s only so much work he can delegate when his most difficult responsibilities involve their night life, a responsibility that Danny had firmly refused to do anything with.

Alfred can’t begrudge him. He often wishes Bruce would hang up the cowl, but his crusade to save Gotham from itself is never ending and he’s never been one to give up. All his children are equally stubborn.

“Quiet night, isn’t it?” Spoiler comments. She and Black Bat have been sitting at the same corner for the past five minutes; they likely stopped for a snack break, buying from corner stores even though Alfred always makes sure they take high calorie, healthy snacks with them before they leave. 

“Let’s hope it lasts,” Red Hood says, “Quiet’s never a good thing in this city.”

“It does always lead up to something bad,” Red Robin agrees. “Seen any sign of Venom out on the streets yet?”

“Not yet, but my men have been hearing rumors about the Venom gang getting real bold lately. They’re going for bigger targets to steal funds. Still don’t know where they’re getting their Venom.”

“Think they’ll go after the Wayne Charity Gala next week?”

“I will be prepared for all possibilities,” Alfred cuts in. “Movement of an illegal arms shipment has been called in near the ferry in West End.”

“We’re on it,” Batman says. 

The comms go quiet for a minute as everyone moves around the city, hunting down petty criminals to protect civilians and investigating their own ongoing cases. Alfred scans the map once more, but there’s nothing more for him to take note of. Such is the pace of quiet nights.

If he’s lucky, they’ll call it an early night and return to the manor (or their own safehouses) before 4AM. 

“So,” Nightwing says, carefully casual, “Danny.”

The comms erupt with noise as everyone chimes in with various replies of Danny! Has anyone found out more about him? Tell me you have some fun stories about him!

Alfred clears his throat loudly and is pleased when they all settle down. 

“Danny is settling in well,” he says.

“Any chance of him joining us on patrol soon?” Spoiler asks.

Robin scoffs. “As if. He has no training and will not be able to keep up with us. Even keeping him on comms is unthinkable.” And, quieter, “He has no desire to be a part of this, in any case. He made that very clear.”

Nightwing whistles. “Yeah, those conditions. He sure is something, isn’t he? So are we thinking human experimentation or something else?”

“I considered the possibility, alongside cults,” Batman says. “Red Hood, have the Outlaws heard about either of those things lately? With Danny having the powers he does, I wouldn’t be surprised if people were searching for him.”

“I haven’t heard anything yet,” Red Hood answers after a long pause. “Don’t even know where the kid could have come from.”

“Agent A, you said he saved you from a mugger, right?” Nightwing asks. “Wait, give me a minute. Carjacking in progressed just down the street.”

“Powers?” Black Bat asks. Batman only replies with a grunt.

“Back!” Nightwing says before Black Bat can decide if she needs to go hunt down Batman for a proper answer. Alfred would have given her his location if she did, but the conversation is enough to distract her. “So. Danny saved you, yeah?”

Alfred thinks back to that night, after spending so many dawns walking with Danny, talking to him quietly. He didn’t get a response often, but as Danny began to open up more, he would close the distance between them, listening intently to everything Alfred said. He’d even ask questions from things Alfred had discussed previously and it was clear from there that Danny was a kind, attentive young man doing his best in a bad situation.

Looking at Danny, hunched into himself in a dirty hoodie and stained jeans, tired and gaunt, had reminded Alfred of Jason. Admittedly, he had met Jason as a child and had cared for him until his was murdered as a teenager, but they had the same aura about them. The same distrust, the drive to survive, the kindness despite it all. 

Danny isn’t Jason. He’s his own person, unique from anyone else in the family, but that was the initial reason Alfred kept seeking him out. 

He’s glad he did. Now Danny is in the manor, under his care, slowly learning to trust him and the others of the family enough to use his powers. 

It is clear, from Nightwing’s questions, that he too had experienced Danny’s protectiveness. 

Whatever was done to him had stripped his humanity from him. There is no other way to describe him as monstrous in that moment when he ran back to Alfred; the snarl, the sharp teeth, the glowing eyes, everything about him screamed not human. But he only used it to protect, to scare away the man seeking to harm Alfred, and he had come back quickly, hiding that part of him away.

Alfred isn’t scared of Danny. He had seen the control Danny had over that aspect of him, saw the way he curled into himself, awaiting judgment as Alfred checked him over for injuries. Changed as he may be, Danny is his apprentice. He is not a threat, but a protector.

He believes that the others will understand that, but he also knows that they are just as protective of him as Danny is. Should they try to keep Danny away, Alfred will show them exactly why he’s been the sole and strongest guard for the manor all these years.

“Yes,” he says, “Danny did indeed defend me before I was able to convince him to return to the manor with me.”

“Did you see how he fought? Or what he looked like?”

“I take it Danny reacted similarly when you were in danger.”

Nightwing laughs. “Boy, did he! He’s small for his age, but he’s crazy strong. Maybe not Superman levels, but he knocked down a guy twice his height and four times his weight like it was nothing.”

“He also growled at me,” Red Hood adds thoughtfully. “We really gotta find out who had him, because if they’re to artificially enhance people, they’re doing a pretty terrifying job of it.”

“Do you think he could be an alien trying to blend in?” Red Robin muses.

“Shit. Add it to the list.”

“Red Hood,” Alfred warns.

“Sorry, A.”

“There is something strange about him, beyond his powers,” Robin comments thoughtfully.

Red Hood makes a noise of agreement. “Yeah, no kidding. Something about him sets me on edge. I know he’s just a kid trying to survive, but he’s got some sort of bad vibe.”

“Hood!” Spoiler berates, “That’s so rude! He’s an abused kid trying to find someplace safe. Is that any way to talk about him?”

He sputters, trying to defend himself. Alfred stays quiet; Red Hood did this to himself, and should know well enough by now that his words have consequences just as actions do.

“Wait! Hood, get over here, I think I got something!” Red Robin says, cutting off everyone’s attempts to guilt Red Hood even more, and on the map, Alfred can see him stop in an alley, Red Hood just a street behind him. He manages to hear the beginning of a sentence, then both of them turn off their comms.

This is nothing unusual. They often need a moment to think without any distractions, or need to have a private conversation to sort something out. Batman never likes it, always fearing the worst, but Alfred is content with just monitoring their locations and vitals. As long as they can be found and their hearts are beating steadily, he allows them to have their silence as needed.

“Man,” Nightwing says, breaking the silence, “I’m beat. Think I’m gonna call it night and head back to the manor if everyone else has things covered.”

The rest of the bats respond with a chorus of reassurances and good nights, and Alfred is pleased to see Nightwing’s marker moved towards the manor. He swings across a few streets, then stays on the road, likely having called his motorcycle to cut down travel time. 

“It’s good that you aren’t pushing yourself, Nightwing,” he says, both happy Dick is taking care of himself and pointedly ignoring everyone else not doing the same thing. “I will see you soon.”

“Wonder what the Reds found,” Spoiler says, quickly distracting everyone from the shame Alfred is trying to make them feel. 

Red Robin’s comm goes back online as soon as she finishes talking. “Got some info on Venom distribution. Good news: it’s not Bane. Bad news: it’s a copy who has a grudge, so we can expect whoever it is to do something big and stupid soon.”

Batman grunts in acknowledgement. “Red Hood?”

There’s no answer. His comm stays off, but Alfred can see his marker following after Red Robin; being questioned too much by Batman always leaves him in a bad mood, and ignoring him is a better option than going after him, guns out. 

An alert pops up on the map, flashing. “Spoiler and Black Bat, there appears to be a situation unfolding in the brewery on Johnson Street. Do be careful.”

“You got it, Agent A!” 

Spoiler and Black Bat move quickly, ending their snack break to go right back into crime fighting. 

Though she refuses to stay and always moves between the Bats and Oracle, Stephanie is a welcome presence. Her start as a vigilante was rough, as were her relationships to others, but Alfred is glad she preserved and stuck around despite it all; her cheer and stubborn optimism is a welcome change from Batman’s severe demeanor. Her sense of justice is strong, and her experiences in the rougher areas of Gotham provide a much needed perspective that was lost with Jason. 

He does hope she agrees to spend her birthday at the manor just so he can spoil her a little. Pun not intended. 

The others go back to focusing on their own patrol routes around Gotham, keeping an eye on the streets for anyone who may need their help. It’s a routine patrol, though it’ll likely end early once Alfred makes a few comments about the late hour and convinces everyone to return to get some sleep before sunrise. 

Nightwing is only ten minutes out when Alfred suddenly becomes aware of a shift in the air. 

He’s alone in the Batcave. And though he may be getting on in the years, he prides himself in his situational awareness; war and years spend in the secret service have given him instincts that cannot be buried deeply, no matter how many years he spends pushing them aside to tend to the Wayne family. 

Those instincts tell him he’s no longer alone.

Alfred smoothly takes off the headset and sets the comm system onto the Batcomputer to take advantage of the powerful microphone it uses. He can’t alert anyone to his situation, not without giving away his awareness of the intruder, but once the altercation begins—and there will be an altercation—they will be able to hear it and know that they need to return to the Batcave immediately.

A security breach of this severity is rare. 

Rare is not impossible, and Alfred has dealt with all such breaches in the same way: with a shotgun.

There’s one in a weapons case just on the other side of the Batcave. If he can get to it, he can go after the intruder and have better chance of taking them down. The problem is if he can keep the intruder from taking that chance to attack him.

Well. No point in wasting any time.

Alfred stands and prepares to make his way to the weapons case.

And Danny stumbles into the Batcave from one of the side passages and says, “What the fuck did I just wake up to?”

“Language!” Alfred scolds reflexively, because the rest of him is reeling. He knows this cave system very well. He is the one who explored it with Bruce when they were first converting it into the Batcave, a base of operations for the Batman during his second year as the Dark Knight. He knows that the passage Danny walked out of is a dead end, that there is no way into it other than from the main cavern itself, and Alfred would have seen Danny pass him if he had been down here.

So the question remains: how did Danny get into the Batcave?

The Batcomputer is suspiciously quiet. He’s sure that everyone is listening in, keeping silent to avoid alerting Danny to the fact that they are there.

“A whole cave?” Danny asks, incredulous. “I thought a basement was bad enough, but an entire cave?”

“Danny,” Alfred says, hoping to cut in before Danny could properly get started on his rant. He’s taken care of enough teenagers to know that once they get started, it’s incredibly hard to stop them. 

“A cave!”

“Danny, how did you get down here?”

The question makes Danny stop. He closes his mouth and his expression shutters into something neutral. His shoulders are tense, and Alfred can see how his eyes dart around as if seeking an escape route. 

“I will not be angry no matter what the answer is,” Alfred hurries to reassure. “I just want to know how you got here and if you are alright.”

Danny stays silent for a long moment, then mumbles something beneath his breath.

“Pardon?”

“...Fell,” he mutters.

That’s not a great answer to hear, though Alfred still doesn’t see how it explains his sudden presence in the Batcave. “Would you mind speaking up, Danny? My ears aren’t quite what they used to be.”

Danny takes a deep breath, then walks closer to Alfred so he’s only a few feet away, carefully staying out of reaching distance. It makes his heart hurt, the clear apprehension in each movement; he would never hurt Danny, but it’s clear that others have not held the same sentiments. If only he could find them and ensure that they would never be able to hurt Danny again…

“I fell,” Danny says, keeping his gaze fixed on the floor.

“You fell,” Alfred repeats.

“Through the floor. And my bed.”

“You fell into the Batcave? Are you quite alright, my boy?”

He hears a small sound from the Batcomputer, a slight catch of breath. Danny must hear it too, for his eyes flick towards the monitors, then back to Alfred. 

“It’s fine,” he says, as if falling from his room into the Batcave, a considerable distance to say nothing of the stone and hardwood he had to go through, isn’t a big deal at all. “I didn’t break anything.”

That is not at all what Alfred is concerned about. “Are you injured? Come, we have a med bay just over here and I am a trained field medic.”

Danny tenses immediately and stumbled back a few steps. There’s a wild look in his eyes that reminds him of cornered animals, ready to lash out in fear. “No!” he yells, “No. No examinations, no nothing. Don’t touch me. Please.”

The possibility of human experimentation looks more and more likely. 

He raises his hands, trying to calm Danny down. He carefully doesn’t move any more than that. “Alright,” he says, “I will not touch you. But please let me know if you are injured from your fall.”

“No, I’m… I’m fine. I was having a nightmare and went intangible and just… sank through the floor until I got here.”

Alfred didn’t know that Danny could make himself intangible, but that’s not important right now. He files the information away for later, and makes a note to forbid anyone from questioning Danny without his permission or presence. “That’s good. I am glad you’re unharmed.”

The sincerity of his words much come through; Danny relaxes, just slightly, and the hunted look on his face fades. He glances around the cave again, eyes catching on the giant penny and the cases lining the wall, filled with various suits.

“I imagine you have questions.”

“That’s one way to put it,” Danny scoffs. “Like, I expected something shady since you’re working for a crime family, but this is on another level.”

A crime family? Alfred has to bite back a laugh; they are the opposite of a crime family. They’re a crime-fighting family, if anything. 

“Seriously, why would you need a giant penny? Some sort of intimidation tactic while you’re having meetings down here to keep underlings in line? And the dinosaur. That’s just excessive. Couldn’t you just have a torture room instead and call it a day?”

“Oh my God,” Spoiler laughs, her voice ringing out from the Batcomputer. Multiple comms unmute themselves then to frantically shush her, but the damage is done. “This is the best thing I’ve ever heard. Danny, you’re the best. I’m going to hold this over their heads forever.”

“Guess that means I can come in now,” Nightwing says. The distant rumble of an engine echoes through the cave as he enters the tunnel that leads off from the road. It’s barely a minute before Nightwing reaches the main cavern and smoothly comes to a stop, the engine cutting off.

Danny moves then, placing himself between Alfred and Nightwing. It’s unnecessary, but Alfred can’t help but by touched that despite Danny’s clear upset upon discovering the Batcave, he won’t let his emotions stop him from caring. 

“Hey,” Nightwing says and carefully peels off his mask. “I guess I should introduce myself again, huh? I’m Dick, and at night I go fight crime as Nightwing.”

“You fight crime?” Danny repeats, doubt coloring his tone.

“Yeah. All of us do. Gotham’s the most crime-ridden city in the world and most of the cops are corrupt, so someone has to protect people.”

“And that’s you.”

“And that’s me,” Dick confirms with a bright smile. “Well, me and everyone else.”

Danny stares at him for a few moments, then steps back, looking between him and Alfred. “So you’re all Gotham’s heroes?”

“Yep.”

“I thought you killed people.”

“Woah, what? We don’t kill people!”

Red Hood scoffs very loudly, the sound ringing out clearly from the Batcomputer’s speakers. Dick winces. “Alright, so we try not to kill people. Most of us, at least.”

“That’s not an answer that inspires a lot of confidence.”

All Dick could offer was a weak shrug, a look of what can you do? on his face. 

In return, Danny raised an eyebrow and stared him down, unimpressed. It didn’t take long for Dick to falter under that gaze and shrink into himself, fidgeting slightly. The sight is unexpected but Alfred can’t help but smile; Danny certainly picked that up quickly. 

Instilling a sense of shame into the members of the Wayne families is one of the most important skills required for this job, after all.

“I do believe this is a conversation better saved for the morning,” he cuts in smoothly, stepping out from behind Danny to reach Dick and fuss over him. “Any injuries?”

“Just a few scrapes and bruises. Nothing too serious tonight.”

“I’ll be the judge of that, Master Richard.” He ushers Dick off towards the changing room, then busies himself with prepping the med bay for a check up. Without any serious injuries to tend to, the work is done fast. There’s only bandages, salves for bruises, and painkillers necessary for now, though he keeps the heavy medical kit nearby just in case anyone else has a more severe injury. 

Through it all, Danny watches with sharp eyes, keeping his distance but still drifting closer towards Alfred. At some point, his feet lift off the ground, leaving him to hover in midair, observing everything Alfred does. 

The sight of Danny floating makes him pause for a moment before he carries on as if nothing is out of place. 

It’s a relief to know that, despite having their night business found out so suddenly, Danny still trusts Alfred enough to use his powers around him rather than hide them away. Admittedly, the flying is unexpected.

Could he be another clone with Kryptonian DNA? 

His black hair and blue eyes could come from Clark, but the same could be said for Bruce and his children. It’s a surface level comparison anyway; the rest of his features are too different to come from Clark. He’s met Conner enough times to know that well enough. 

“I understand that you do not wish to have any part of this,” Alfred begins, tidying up his workspace needlessly, only to have Danny cut him off.

“You said you’re a trained medic, right?”

His eyes are strangely intense as his floats a little closer to Alfred. Then they drift to the side and look over all the medical supplies he’s prepared for Dick.

Alfred stops his fussing to turn his full attention to Danny; he has a feeling that this is an important moment. He only hopes he doesn’t mess it up.

“Yes. I was proficient in first aid before I came to work for the Waynes, and their nightly activities have only giving me more incentive to better my skills to help them.”

“Can you—” Danny hesitates for a moment, drawing into himself. It’s not quite insecurity as it is defensive. Alfred hopes he’ll be able to find the people who taught Danny to be so fearful, always expecting pain and violence, so he can give them a piece of his mind. “Can you teach me? It’s just—I’ve never learned, not really, and you can only trust the internet so much when it comes to medical stuff so what I know is mostly from trial and error when I tried to patch myself up.”

Alfred feels his blood run cold. He presses his hands flat against the metal cart carrying the medical supplies and fights to keep his composure. It takes a few breaths before he can speak without sounding murderous. 

“You have had to tend to yourself,” he says, not quite a question.

Danny hesitates, before he quietly answers, “Yes.”

“And there was no one who could help you.”

“There were… No. Not really. It’s not their fault though, they were kids too.”

More kids. More children who had to learn to patch themselves and each other up because no one else would help them. Because the people who should have helped them were the ones hurting them instead. 

He does hope they can find where Danny came from soon. He’s even willing to lend Jason one of his guns. 

The lack of a response has Danny wringing his hands, beginning to babble to fill the silence. “None of it was ever too bad!” he reassures, “And I heal fast so it’s fine. But sometimes I had to stitch myself up and that was never fun, and it’s hard to set dislocated joints by yourself, and I didn’t have a lot of supplies to work with.”

“Danny,” Alfred says, cutting him off firmly. He holds onto his composure by a single thread. “I would be happy to teach you. I do not expect you to add medical assistance to your duties, however. We have a doctor who can help us for more severe injuries and I am more than capable of handling everything else myself.”

“...Okay,” Danny nods after a long pause. “Okay. Thank you.”

The conversation is over for now. Alfred doesn’t want to distress Danny any further after such a hectic night; any questions he has can wait until later. 

Dick, who has more than likely eavesdropped for the entire conversation, finally emerges from the changing room. He’s much more relaxed outside of Nightwing’s suit, wearing an old college t-shirt he stole from Bruce when he was a teenager and a pair of sweatpants. He also doesn’t react at all to seeing Danny slightly curled up in the air, knees drawn toward his chest, five feet off the ground.

“I promise I’m totally fine, Alfred,” he says, “We can skip the check up tonight!”

“Absolutely not, Master Richard. Sit down.”

Sighing, Dick does as he’s told, giving Danny a small smile as he does. It doesn’t falter even as Danny drifts back from him, staying out of grabbing distance. 

The check up goes quickly. For once, Dick isn’t lying about not being hurt. He doesn’t need any bandages or painkillers, just a little salve on his left shoulder and his right hip. As soon as Alfred leans back and begins to clean up, Dick hops off the bed and says, “See? I’m right as rain. Why don’t you take a break, Alfred? I can run comms until everyone turns in for the night.”

“No need,” Alfred reassures, “You go and get some rest. You as well, Danny. We’ll be up bright and early tomorrow.”

Danny casts his gaze around the Batcave once more, then looks over Alfred, assessing him for something. There’s an unreadable expression on his face that makes concern rise up in him, but Alfred doesn’t get a chance to ask what’s wrong before Danny nods and flies up through the ceiling of the Batcave.

He’s seen a lot over the course of his life, but seeing a teenager silently pass through solid stone is up there with some of the more startling things he’s witnessed.

“Man,” Dick says after beat, “What a night, huh?”

Immediately, the comms explode with noise as everyone rushes to speak, talking over each other. 

Alfred lets them, taking the time to put his own thoughts in order. They all settle down soon enough, though it takes Batman pointedly clearing his throat a few times. 

Dick grabs a spare seat and pulls it over to the Batcomputer, sitting in it halfway there to roll the rest of the way to where Alfred sits back into the main chair. He looks over the map as Dick spins in his chair next to him, making note of where everyone is and any new crimes that may have popped up.

Nothing new catches his attention, nothing that isn’t immediately taken care of by the vigilantes still out. 

“Agent A,” Batman says, “How is Danny.”

Alfred sighs. “Shocked, but he took it much better than I was expecting. He appeared to be more tired and stressed than outright fearful. I do believe our identities will be safe with him.”

“Who would he even tell?” Robin mutters.

“Everything he says has me so concerned,” Red Robin adds. 

Dick shoots out a hand to grab onto the desk, stopping his lazy spin. “Guys,” he says, very seriously, “Danny can fly.”

“Superman clone?” Red Robin asks. “If no cloning was one of his conditions for employment…”

“Actually. He can go intangible. And remember how he was super excited to hear about Martian Manhunter?” There’s a grin stretching across Dick’s face, one that promises only trouble.

Alfred knows what he’s angling towards, what new idea he has about Danny’ background. Worst of all, Alfred can’t deny that it makes sense to some degree. It takes the rest of the family another second to connect the dots and reach the conclusion Dick wants them to see.

“No way,” Spoiler gasps, “You think he’s a clone of Martian Manhunter?!”

“Or!” Dick says, “He was made with Martian DNA and human DNA and was kept from the outside world so he couldn’t find anyone who could help him.”

“We’ll consider it as a possibility,” Batman says, which is as good as confirming that Dick is on the right path.

As much as any of them can be, considering how little they truly know about Danny.

“I suggest you all return to the Batcave,” Alfred says, “It’s time for a family meeting.”

Red Hood whistles lowly, his way of saying oh shit without actually saying it. “Good luck to all of you,” he says solemnly.

“That includes you, Red Hood.”

Spoiler snickers as Red Hood sighs. “Right. Of course. See you soon, A.”

Dick pushes away from the desk slightly. “We having the meeting down here?”

“I believe that would be best. I shall go get everyone’s post-patrol snacks while we wait.”

“I’ll help!” Dick stands and kicks the chair away. He walks away before Alfred can insist on doing it himself and can only fondly shake his head as he follows Dick up to the manor. He had thought he had convinced them to let him handle most of his duties on his own over the past few years. Apparently Danny’s insistence on helping has sparked that fire again.

The need to investigate Danny to better protect him has also brought the family together; it’s rare to get Jason to return to the manor more than once every three months. 

Truly, Danny is a gift to them all and Alfred fully intends to protect him as thoroughly as possible.

Having Batman in his corner is a good start. But Alfred’s got firearms and doesn’t keep to a no killing code. 

No one’s hurting another hair on Danny’s head. Not if he’s got anything to say about it.

[dcxdpdabbles]

In the cave boy fic, I hope Danny has to end up fighting against reanimated hot dogs (I blame the Joker) and when asked why he can fight off reanimated meat. he comments that that's a normal Tuesday in his house as his mom and dad end up reanimating dinner at least once a week, and honestly being here is the longest time he spent without having to fight against reanimated food. He loves his parents but they really need to practice better lab safety or at least stop putting the ectoplasm samples in the same fridge with the food.

This is also adjusted to the cave boy storyline before he takes out the Joker.

One morning, Brucie wakes up and decides to cook everyone breakfast since the night previous was rough for the crime fighters. Almost everyone had gotten injured in one of Riddler's games, nothing life-threatening, but they would be sore and in some cases, in casts for some time. Alfred had been the one to patch the heroes up, so even the aged butler had a rough time.

Bruice had woken before anyone, quickly frying up some sausages, making various versions of eggs (boiled, scrambled, fried, over-easy, omelets) spread out on the table for them to pick which lond they wanted. He made some oatmeal and cut up various fruit in a pretty arrangement of swans.

When the family finally dragged their tired bodies down to the table, they were all greeted by the sight of Alfred being utterly flabbergasted by the spread Bruice proudly presented. Bruicie happily has them take a seat, gathering a plate for them- not before forcing Alfred to sit at the head of the table and make Bruce move to the seat usually reserved for the Lady of the house- and cheerfully place a plate before him.

Everyone was giving each other unsure looks or staring at the plates in wonder. Even Bruce.

Because if there was one thing that was another consent in all the multiverse it was that Bruce Wayne can not cook. The closest any variate has even gotten was burned beyond recognition ash.

Yet here was an entire spread that while not the meal of kings still looked rather taste and some may even say artsty.

"Don't just sit there. Dig in!" Brucie laughs. His hair bounces around his face in an adorable helo, and the family can only stare.

"How did you do this? Is it laced with something?" Tim's voice is heavy with suspicion, which would have been an overreaction if everyone wasn't feeling the same way.

"What? No, It's just eggs, sausage and fruit. With some presentation, I guess, but this isn't hard to make," Brucie says with a hint of defensiveness. "I worked really hard on it."

"We all appricate it Brucie." Dick speaks up leveling the table with a hard look "And we will eat it no matter the taste."

Ah, that must be it. It may look editable, but indeed it would taste terrible. In fact, they wouldn't put it past a version of Bruce Wayne to cause them all to cling to a toilet with his cooking.

Knowing it best to get it over with, the Bats pick up a utensil and carefully cut a bite of eggs or sausage. They hesitate for a moment- Brucie digs in, chewing loudly and quickly through his omelet-throwing. Each other looks to wish them luck, and in one symmetrical movement, everyone eats.

It's...heavenly. It tastes as good as Alfred's food, which they thought no one could match. Before they know it, they fill their plates and go for seconds, not long afterward.

Alfred is all but glowing with paternal pride by the end.

"Young Master Brucie, I had no idea you knew how to cook and so wonderfully as well!" Aldred compliments

Brucie looks up, one piece of sausage dangling from his mouth, reminding them he had no table manners. How in the world does Alfred of his world allow that? They would never know.

Brucie swallows before grinning widely. "Thanks. I love cooking when it's not attacking me."

What?

"Come again?" Bruce asks, blinking slowly as Brucie launches into tale after tale about his food reanimating and creating armies in the family fridge to fight for their freedoms. Or just eating as quickly as possible to prevent the food from coming to life.

He jokingly points at the plate with the sausage. "We better hurry before they develop eyes."

He then just goes back to eating like nothing and the rest of the table is left horrified. Eventually, Brucie excuses himself to go watch a mind-numbing movie- because he doesn't do anything- and they rush the food down to the cave for tests.

They all panic until the results come back like usual, and they realize that he is likely just joking. They all feel bad for doubting him, all but Tim and Cass, who knew Brucie had not lied or joked.

His food honestly did come to life in his old world. They just don't know what to do with that information.

Why did Bruce have to be weird in all universes?

[wheredidalltheusersgo]

The Stranded and The Scaly.

Chapter 10: Exploration

Day 8

The first thing he noticed when he woke up was that Ezekiel was gone.

No big deal, he was probably out foraging.

He went on his hands and knees and stretched down until his chin was nearly touching the ground in a downward dog pose. Geoff sighed in satisfaction, there was nothing better than a good morning stretch.

His shorts were fucking killing him, though. They ripped during his mutation, and they barely fit him anymore. The fabric was digging into his scaly skin. Unfortunately, he didn't have any other kind of pants to wear, so ripped shorts it was.

He got back into a sitting position and looked around the cave, it might be fun to explore a bit. After stretching his legs, he got to his feet and walked towards an exit to the part of the cave he was in.

While he expected the cave to be big, this one was HUGE! Geoff wandered through the tunnels and admired each cool-looking stone he found.

After a bit, he came across what looked like a cliff edge. As he looked over the edge, he noticed the large body of water beneath. It looked deep enough to dive into! "Natural pool, sweet!" Geoff grinned and took a couple steps back.

He charged forwards and jumped into the water.

There was a loud splash as he landed in the cool, clear water.

The water rippled as he rose to the surface and combed his soaking wet hair out of his eyes. Being submerged in water had never felt so good before. Geoff sighed happily and floated on his back for a few hours, feeling relaxed and rejuvenated by the fresh, slightly glowing water.

After an hour or two, he climbed out and shook himself off. He had to bring Zeke here sometime!

It turned out that exploring the cave without Zeke wasn't a good idea.

The many caverns and winding tunnels weren't doing much to help him get back to his and Ezekiel's little hideout. As much as he hated to admit, he was lost. Terribly lost in this labyrinth of stone.

He took a seat on a boulder so he could stop and think of a plan to get back to where he and Zeke had been staying for the past few days.

Wait a minute, Ezekiel had to be back by now! Maybe if he called out for him, he'd come find him!

With a deep breath, he called out for his friend. "Zeke! Buddy!!! I'm completely fine!!" He yelled. "Are you there?? Anywhere???"

No response.

The only sound he could hear was his voice echoing throughout the walls of stone.

Time to keep walking.

There were other things that lived down here, right? Maybe he'd run into one of them, he wasn't scared of becoming prey anymore. He knew he could easily overpower anything he came across with his new size and strength. Was he getting a bit cocky? Maybe.

However, that thought was forgotten as he saw something further ahead. It was about the size of a sheep and kinda looked like a gopher, but it was pink and slightly fuzzy. It seemed to be squeaking and looking around in a panic. Geoff felt kinda bad for it, but he didn't know how to help the thing.

His ears perked up as he heard a soft rumbling noise. It sounded like an earthquake? Wait, AN EARTHQUAKE?!

Geoff barely had time to think before a part of the cave wall collapsed a couple feet behind him. "Holy shit, dude!?" He exclaimed in shock. The cave was collapsing, had there been any explosions or mining in here?? Geoff looked back at the creature up ahead of him, if he didn't act fast, the little thing would get crushed, and so would he! In a moment of pure adrenaline, he ran forwards, snatched the mutant up into his arms and charged through the tunnel as it collapsed behind him. As he leapt forwards into the cavern connected to the tunnel, the fallen rocks sealed the pathway shut.

He tumbled to the ground and used his body to shield the squeaking beast in his arms.

Even when the dust settled, he continued to hold the creature close to his chest.

While he opened his eyes and let his night-vision adjust to the darkness around them, he only had one question.

"Where the hell am I?"

--------

[skyloftian-nutcase]

For anyone who wants to check in on the Healthcare Boys, here's what they're up to :)

As soon as he stepped outside, a smile immediately lit up his face. The day was a beautiful one, air crisp, wind prevalent but not overwhelming, and the sun was just hidden enough in the sparse clouds to offer reprieve from the heat without losing daylight. His red motorcycle was waiting for him, and Sky eagerly hopped on. At first he gently guided his bike through the gravel driveway, enjoying the way the breeze blew across his face as he hadn't put his helmet on yet. Once he reached the main road on the mountain, he got himself situated, settled his helmet over his head, and gunned the engine.

The air was so loud he couldn't hear anything but the sky's constant push. The world whirled around him, his worries and heaviness and exhaustion left behind in a whirl of adrenaline and speed and air. He laughed, leaning into a turn before straightening out and nearly spreading his arms out like he was flying.

Heavens above, it felt so good to go out and ride. He couldn't wait to get to the skydiving site.

XXX

Four glared intensely as he moved his hand slowly. Legend watched him scrutinously.

With the utmost concentration, Four slowly drew a circle. Then he slashed a line through three circles, smirking. "Three in a row."

Legend did a double take. "Wait, wha--"

Three in a row. Three in a row! How had he gotten through his defenses so easily?! This wouldn't stand!

Crossing his arms defiantly, Legend huffed. "Rematch!"

Four laughed. "If you say so. I've beaten you twice already."

"Yeah, and I beat you three times before that! I'm a king at tic-tac-toe."

"We'll see about that," Four said with a challenging smirk as he drew out a new board for them to play on.

XXX

The day was perfect for swimming.

Not that Warriors was a particularly good swimmer, but Wind was, and the boy was so excited to go to the water park.

So excited, in fact, that he kidnapped Warriors for all the attractions.

The nurse had to admit, though swimming wasn't exactly his favorite pastime, seeing Wind giggle in delight as he dragged him up the stairs of the next water slide was worth it.

XXX

It was a slow, comfortably warm afternoon as Time traced over Malon's temple with a finger. He slipped his hand into her hair, brushing it out of her face and onto the pillow as she smiled up at him. He dipped in for another kiss, feeling her rise up to meet him, and the world slipped back into ecstasy for the lovers.

XXX

"I still can't believe this ratty motel actually has a hose we can use," Wild muttered as he watched Twilight set up the little pool.

"Miracles never cease," Twilight commented before saying in a higher pitched tone, "You ready buddy?"

Little Wolfie stared between the two, his head cocking to the side as Twilight talked to him. Wild swore he heard his friend squeal in delight at the sight of it, especially since one of Wolfie's ears was halfway perked up.

Wild himself still wasn't entirely comfortable with the idea of the puppy, but... by heaven, even he had to admit it was being unbelievably adorable right now.

That didn't mean he was going to help with this, though.

Twilight turned on the hose to a gentle trickle, easing his fingers through the puppy's thick fur as he soaked the little one. Wolfie, to his credit, took it, seeming to enjoy the cool water, though he trembled a little. Wild felt bad for the little guy. He was probably scared.

"You mind gettin' the shampoo?" Twilight asked.

Wild grabbed the item and held it out.

Twilight took the item, releasing the puppy for a moment, and chaos immediatly ensued.

Wolfie decided now was the time to not only dig and pounce around in the water, but try to escape the pool and eat the hose. Twilight yelped, catching the pup before he could get far, and Wild laughed.

"So, you still think this is a good idea?" Wild asked.

"You could help, you know!"

"Nah, I'm not getting bitten. Nor am I getting fleas. No thanks."

Twilight huffed, an annoyed pout crossing his face, and Wild had to laugh again. His mirth didn't last long, though, when Twilight grabbed the hose, cranked up to full throttle, and sprayed him in the face.

Yelping, the amnesiac tackled Twilight, and both young men fell into the pool alongside the puppy.

XXX

It was damp and chilly, a nice reprieve from the daylight as Hyrule held his flashlight carefully. He stepped gingerly over rocks and tried not to touch the stalagmites and stalactites all around him, as delicate and old as they were. The cave practically sparkled as he shone the light around, moisture glistening in reflective delight.

Hyrule's lips pulled into an enormous, excitable grin. He'd mapped out the locations of six different caves in this area, and he was going to explore them all.

He loved spalunking so much.

[stellerssong]

5 and 29 please?

5—what’s a fic idea you’ve had that you will never write?

having given the matter a great deal of thought, i’ve come to the conclusion that i have no interest in writing a corinthian/lucienne femdom hatesex on the beach fic, on the grounds that i’m personally not compelled by the fantasy it presents. apologies to everyone who read the middle section of that sentence and immediately went AWOOGA AWOOGA BARK BARK BARK BARK AWOOOOO like a cartoon character. i know you are out there and i heard you do it.

the real bummer of this whole affair, though, is the fact that “beg me to spare thee the back of my hand” would have been a kickass title. free to a good home, friends!

29—share a bit from a fic you’ll never post OR from a scene that was cut from an already posted fic.

i don’t work in drafts, so everything that’s been cut from existing fics has been sent to hell already. but what i CAN offer you is this (probably obnoxiously long) snippet from a portion of wereverse that i will probably never actually post about, lovingly nicknamed, “the bath time fic”:

The tub isn’t quite wide enough for them to sit side-by-side, and he moves toward the tap a little so Lucienne can lower herself into the water, angles himself so his cheek is to her, rather than his back. A dark glitter as his gaze flicks over her body. She knows it’s ridiculous to have an attack of modesty right now, but she brings her arms up to cover her breasts. “There,” she says, too cheerful even for her own ears. “Does that help?” Dream makes a small noise in his throat. Maybe assent. Hard to tell. But he does reach out with one hand and rest his knuckles gently against Lucienne’s knee. You can tell he’s getting keyed when he starts grabbing and clinging and clawing at you. Light touches are a good sign. They mean he’s present enough to be careful. (Well. They mean something’s present enough, says a voice in her head that sounds a lot like Cori. She ignores that, as best she can.) “Is the water warm enough?” A nod. Better and better. “Do you need me to soap you, or…?” Silence for a moment. Dream’s throat works, like there’s a reply stuck in there trying to get out, but in the end he just unfolds one slim arm and picks up the bar of soap himself. “All right. Well…” Lucienne settles herself a little uncomfortably against the back of the tub. “Just—let me know. If you need anything.” His white lashes go up like a pair of dove’s wings. Luminous dark underneath, whites visible only at the corners. A creature’s eyes, an animal’s eyes, for all that he’s being so good about holding onto his human shape. That’s going to be…difficult to explain to people not in the know about his condition, at some point, but Lucienne’s not thinking about that yet, she’s just thinking about immediate concerns, practicalities— He shifts position slightly so the tips of his toes are resting against hers. A faint line works its way in between his brows. He still doesn’t speak, but that expression is plain as black ink on white paper: is this okay? Lucienne has to smile at that. Her face aches, like she’s lost the muscle memory sometime in the past however-many weeks. Footsie. Aren’t the two of them fucking adorable.

[hazelcephalopod]

Alright. I assume it’s been long enough I can post… well it’s a big Pluto spoiler so scroll now if you care. I’ll do the stars- ** ** ** ** **

Best and most tragic part of Pluto is Gesicht revelation that he had a (robot) daughter who was horrible murdered -and later all memory of her was erased, except it couldn’t take. Part of him wouldn’t forget! Which you’ve possibly figured out when it’s revealed. But what really got me was it wasn’t like, normal adoption. No! He found her in the actual trash. In the garbage dump! All broken and he immediately fell in love with his new child and presumably takes her home where he and his wife repair her and name her Robita. Like. The levels of wholesomeness in all that. And the “we (androids) have found our beautiful robot daughter (child sized bipedal wall-e) and she’s just (re?)learned to walk and talk. We shall call her Robita!” What?! What do you mean she was murdered, and it’s already done and in the past?! What do you mean it’s even more tragic yet beautiful and resonates perfect with the theme. And the child was named Robita?!! What?!!

I loved it so much. Idc if she’s probably a preexisting character. Just another testament to a masterclass on taking a lighter hearted old comic/manga and making it more serious without becoming too edgy and loosing its heart.

I mean. Her name was Robita! And she was adorable.

(more spoilers)

And then Gesicht gets murdered. By the same model. As he is having this twisted beautiful tragic traumatic flashback! And somehow the balance keeps if just on the right side of edgy and heartfelt. Just a masterclass in emotional storytelling.

also. They just give this child a gender. I didn’t know until they named her. Like there’s no… she’s a robot. I love the robots having gender just because. Look, she’s wearing an apron! Woman! Look he’s got a hat! Man! I love it. I got maybe one or two notes but I can work with that.