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#Charles thinks he did do it and he hates everything so much because if Charles gave up hope on him if even Charles is unwilling to fight for
ironhusband · 1 year
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Thinking about Erik snapping at Charles with “well maybe you should have fought harder for them” and the pain in his eyes when Charles told him they didn’t want the same things.
#cherik#going insane Erik sitting in that awful cell thinking that Charles will never rescue him but he’ll still know Erik didn’t do this#and him learning Charles thinks he’s a murderer a monster - the one person who had never thought that of him besides his parents - and that#Charles thinks he did do it and he hates everything so much because if Charles gave up hope on him if even Charles is unwilling to fight for#him anymore maybe he truly is a monster and killing raven for the future is just a who he is#thinking of how much it would break Erik of Charles called him a monster to his face#‘you abandoned us all’ but what he means is you abandoned me! you sent me away and you let me rot in prison and you gave up on me#anyways!!! the way Erik wanted Charles to fight for one thing and that was him and he didn’t!! he just gave up and sent him away#listen ok I know Erik left him bleeding on a beach with no way of getting out of there but man I will always be side Erik in the divorce#look at the day the man had!!! he’s paralyzed by fear when confronting his abuser and then Charles tells him to not kill him even tho Erik-#needed it to feel safe like watch the scene watch it!!! and then he’s facing genocide again and this time he can lift the coin and save his#people. then Charles gets shot and he blames ERIK and then he breaks up with Erik like ok I know he’s wounded and all but the fact the#fandom is like ‘oh Charles didn’t mean for them to go he was shot and mad Erik should know better’#but we’re not like ‘oh Erik faced his childhood abuser and then relived something very similar to his trauma#got blamed for his lover’s injury (and like he doesn’t blame himself for him mom too) and then broken up with. he went through so much#lasting emotional trauma in the span of less than one hour how can he know better’#and there’s like a good explanation for why Charles would still blame him like Erik was wearing the helmet he couldn’t have picked up on all#that depth without one of the senses he relies on. but the fandom being like Erik is the bad person in this instance#it seems unfair. also it screams I’m a gentile honestly.#also you can’t tell me part of Erik wasn’t like ‘maybe he’d be better off without me’ when he left the beach#x men#Charles Xavier#erik lehnsherr#ramble rumble#now just don’t think of ‘let him come’ being Erik hoping Charles will finally fight for him and say they should have been together#and instead Charles throws more unfair (well about raven) blame in his face
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🔥unpopular charles opinion
The thing is, it’s not an opinion, really. The question isn’t meant to be a complaint or a rebuttal or anything. I just genuinely don’t get it! The question goes something like this.
So Charles/Klinger seems to be the one actively disliked ship in the fandom, discounting the h*nn*hawk vs p*erc*ntyre gang war and that one rabidly anti-hawnk person (lol). Most nobody has any love for the ship, because it’s stupid and OOC, of course, but mostly because it’s egregiously obviously racist and gross, which is the critique that seems most common, and to be of most importance to people.
And to be clear, for the purposes of this post I am wholly agreeing with all that! It’s distasteful and immoral and people who are into it are insane, including me. I’m not arguing against this line of thinking, I just wanted to look at its inner logic. Because when I first heard people saying this, I thought, “Yeah, makes sense, Charles is truthfully a terrible person with abhorrent opinions. Nobody watching this already unfortunately bigotry-riddled show is obligated to try and look past that! It is Always valid to hate Charles’ guts.”
But it turns out most of the fandom (I assume it must be most, given how shockingly few people here have blocked me) actually don’t hate Charles, in general. It’s the specific ship, not the character, that’s distasteful. (Not to say any Charles ship is anything resembling popular, but like with most ships, that’s just a result of the general population’s Hawkeye BJ Laser Focus Gaze. I’ve never seen anybody actively dislike these ships when they’re brought up.) And the more I think about it, the more I wonder why, because well. to put it bluntly. It’s not like someone stops being racist when they’re not actively interacting with a nonwhite person.
You know what I mean? I feel like Charles’ bigotry would be a turn off for all of our generally morally sound protagonists, not just one who happens to be personally affected by it. But it only becomes an issue when it involves Klinger. I’ve heard people say that any Charles/Klinger ship fic would obviously have to go out of its way to address Charles’ racism, but I’ve read a few Charles/Hawkeye and Charles/Donna (and Charles / other strange and varied choices too, because of course I have) fics–really, REALLY good fics, that captured the characters very nicely and are very beautifully written–and I’ve yet to find one that discusses The Bigotry In The Room with any degree of seriousness.
(Pssst this is everyone’s chance to absolutely dunk on me by sending me fics that do this if there actually are a bunch and I’ve just never read them because I would in fact LOVE to read some fics with that topic regardless of ship!)
And to be clear, that’s fine with me! I truly do not care. When I read Charles running away to Maine or romancing Ms. Parker and I don’t see his love interests stop to ask “Hey, um, so any updates on the fact that you and your whole family are eugenicists?”, it doesn’t bother me in the slightest, because I just assume that Charles has already gone through the cult deprogramming step of his character development at some point prior to this, and either the love interest in question has already confirmed this off-page, or they are making the same assumption I am. After all, at least in Hawkeye’s case, the mere act of admitting romantic interest in a Democrat from the back of beyond would necessarily imply a shift in values, right?
(Admittedly, for all we canonically know Donna could be a fashy scumlord herself, so this reasoning doesn’t wholly apply there, but it obviously does to her fanon background/personality.) (Which is adorable, by the way. Everyone go check out the collective oeuvre of AO3 user onekisstotakewithme.)
So that’s all cool! It’s just that the same thing applies for me when it comes to Charles/Klinger. If anything, it applies even more, because you can have a fic where Charles’ whole family attend his and Donna’s 2nd wedding (Everyone go check out the collective oeuvre of AO3 user onekisstotakewithme!!!) but if Charles gets with Maxwell in any capacity, his father is at the very LEAST never going to speak to him again, ever. And personally I think that is SO fun and sexy, because Charles’ father is a white supremacist and I want him to die painfully forever and ever amen. <3
I got sidetracked a few times here and I just realized I never actually asked the question, which is, TL;DR: If it’s immoral–or at least gross and nonsensical–to ship Charles/Klinger, because Charles is bigoted, shouldn’t the same also apply to shipping Charles with many other characters too, given that they should logically also have a problem with his bigotry?
For what it’s worth, I have a bit of a theory about the answer to this, all to do with the incompetent way Charles’ bigotry (and other characters’ reactions to it) are portrayed in canon and the deeper Doylist factors that I think forced the showrunners into writing it like that, but I wanted to stay strictly on the topic of fandom attitudes for now, because it may be niche and silly, but I find it interesting. And I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts on it!
#Did this sound rude? Was I totally incoherent? Is everyone mad at me now? All these questions & more swirling around in my brain right now#It seems like such an obvious thing I feel stupid even bringing it up because there must just be some huge thing I'm missing#but I can't figure out what it is!#There was so much more I wanted to bring up here as I said but I had to Stop haha#like sometime I also want to do a post on how most people seem to envision Charles fitting back into his family and his old life very well#and I always picture the exact opposite! Not just from a ''what I would want to have happen'' POV but also just#what I think would complete his arc in a satisfying way and build on the things that happened to him in canon#not saying he's gong to go home and become a commie immediately (ah! if only!) and I think he WOULD try DESPERATELY#to have everything be exactly the same. but I just don't think it would work!#like Margaret and unlike BJ or Hawkeye his pre-war life was not built on healthy sustainable or even ethical foundations#and that life is going to collapse in on him!#but ghdsjkgdsj STOP I will make a separate post later. enough controversy for today I'm sleepy#(but I also do SOOO want to make a post examining the insane inconsistencies in how the protags treat Charles and his bigotry cause it's#SIMPLY RIDIC#)#Hawkeye when he wants to have a little bonding moment with Charles:#I can excuse racism but I draw the line at failing to flirt with a 6'4'' millionaire. A girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!#and the thing is Maxwell also does this. but of course THAT isn't ok. wheezing.#Charles: god I fucking HATE [checks the list of protected minorities to find an ethnic group that's not on there] uhhh MEDITERRANEANS#Max who is used to long odds and is already mentally rehearsing his teary ''But officer! My husband was in that house!'' speech:#haha yeah ok Major. I think we are soulmates btw :)#THIS POST IS A DISASTER. APOLOGIES TO EVERYONE AND HAVE A NICE DAY.#Charles Emerson Winchester III#MASH#Starky loves answering questions#marley-manson#CHARMAX#Starky's Original Posts
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itaipava · 5 months
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— f1 boys giving you the partner privilege.
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˒ ⌕ LANDO NORRIS:
he hates to be interrupted while playing, but you are always an exception; when you arrive in the room he always looks quickly at you and takes a headset out of his ear, attentive to anything you are going to say. if you are sad or discouraged. he lets you sit on his lap and he listens intently to everything you have to say. but if you want, he’ll even turn off the computer/video game because he really cares about you - but he’s a little upset that you made him left the game when he was about to win, but he put this aside and focus on you; because what matters most is you, and always you.
˒ ⌕ DANIEL RICCIARDO:
shows you off in every way possible - honestly, most of the time he doesn’t even realize he’s doing it. he’s always looks in love with you like ‘wow, you’re so perfect for me’. he also gets his eyes in his heart looking at you but still doesn’t understand how people guessed you were dating… but he honestly doesn’t complain, it just makes him show you even more to others because he wants to show everyone that he has the world in his hands.
˒ ⌕ CARLOS SAINZ:
he would give you anything you want; are you looking for a certain food or drink? he’s already getting it for you without question. it’s movie night and you want to watch a movie that no one else wants to watch? one way or another he’s going to make sure you’re watching that movie. he just wants to see you happy - and also because he likes to pamper you. the second you arrive, his friends are rolling their eyes because they know how much he’s wrapped around your finger, just a fool in love.
˒ ⌕ CHARLES LECLERC:
he gives you all his love and affection; it’s like he freely gives his heart to you, when it comes to you, he’d give you the entire galaxy if he could. he would let you do anything; playing with his hair, stealing his clothes, eating his last piece of pizza. he is also more affectionate physically like; he gives you long and warm hugs, soft and long kisses until you lose your breath, plays with your hair while he look through his phone, pulls you into his lap… he loves you with all his heart, and only you.
˒ ⌕ LEWIS HAMILTON:
he brings small gifts constantly. he can’t stop thinking about you and in everything he sees he sees you; whether it’s a coffee at that coffee shop at the end of the street that he knows you like, or that flower he saw in a tree on his way home. every little gift has meaning and a little bit of his heart. he just walks into the room with the sweetest smile to say ‘i have something for you, love’
˒ ⌕ OSCAR PIASTRI
you are the only person who sees his true side; the fun, spontaneous and loving side of him. you’re one of the few people who’s ever heard his spontaneous laugh or his bad jokes. or made him slow dance in the kitchen with you. you are the only person he allows himself to be, you are always the one for him.
˒ ⌕ MAX VERSTAPPEN:
he wants your presence all the time; it’s not that he’s suffocating you, it’s just that he wants to be surrounded by you all the time. like he could literally spend 48 hours locked in a room with you and still feel like he needs more time - like no you can’t leave, we’re not done yet. no matter how much time you spend with him, it will never be enough for him and he will never get tired of your delightful presence; he truly cherishes you and wants nothing more than to give you all of the love he can for as long as possible. your existence alone to him is so mesmerizing, he really doesn’t understand how you’re his or what he did to deserve you.
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scuderiahoney · 4 months
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All You Got
Charles Leclerc x teammate!reader
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Masterlist
Summary: You hate Charles Leclerc. The feeling is mutual. He’s made that clear from the very beginning. enemies to lovers anon I hope you’re still here and I hope I got this right!
Word Count: 5.4k
Warnings: alcohol/intoxication, mild swearing, mild car crash (everyone is fine), panic attacks, comments about sexual activities (but no actual sex/smut)
Everyone in the entire world seems to love Charles Leclerc. Honestly, you can’t blame them. Objectively, you get it. He’s the total package- good looks, kind, generous, rich. They fall at his his feet, and they worship the ground he walks on.
Everyone except for you.
To you, everything he does rubs you the wrong way. Charles Leclerc annoys you to no end. You can’t even pinpoint what it is, just- you can’t stand him. Which is becoming a problem, seeing as he’s your teammate, so you have to deal with him constantly.
Charles was a constant thorn in your side when you were just competing against each other from separate garages. Now he’s your paddock next door neighbor, your supposed collaborator, and the only person who you can truly be compared to. Equal machinery and all that. The truth is, he’s good at what he does, which only makes it so much worse.
You’re having a good season, a great one, even. You’re not a rookie, but it’s your first year with Ferrari, your first year with a car that isn’t a tractor. It’s just that you’re constantly being compared to and overshadowed by him. It’s awful and exhausting and you sit in the briefing before the race glaring daggers at the side of his head.
He’d slowed you down in Q3. You were on a flying lap and he got in the way, left you starting in 9th when you were on track for your best qualifying yet. He’d said it was an accident, and everyone else believed him. Including your own race engineer. You think maybe if you stare hard enough you could actually light all the product in his hair on fire. Then he has the audacity to come up to you after the meeting, to lay his hand on your upper arm softly. You wrench yourself out of his grip, turn to him with a snarl. He must take it as surprise rather than what it really is, because he has a soft smile on his face.
“I’m sorry, again, about quali,” he says, and you spot a camera over his shoulder and fight the urge to roll your eyes. “I’ll find a way to make it up to you, yes?”
“Crash out at the start,” you tell him, raising one brow. There’s a smile on your face and venom in your words. “And take Max out with you.”
“Anything but that,” he says.
He winks before he breezes past you, and if there hadn’t been so many people around, you think you may have actually slapped him this time.
…..
You collapse into a chair in a swanky restaurant that night, resting your chin on closed fists, elbows on the table. Lily, jumps when you do. Alex is sitting across from you, doing a bad job of hiding a laugh behind his hand.
“I’m gonna kill him,” you tell them, knuckles digging into your cheeks. “I’m going to pass all the cars between us tomorrow and ram him into the wall.”
“No, you’re not,” George says as he sits down, Carmen following behind. “Because when you do pass all those cars tomorrow, you’re going to want to stay in the race.”
“I was going to qualify second,” you groan. “I was, seriously-“
“I know,” George says, patting your shoulder. The waiter has appeared at the end of the table.
Alex points at you. “She’ll have a shot of tequila, please.”
“She has to drive tomorrow morning,” Lily reminds him.
“And we have to sit through dinner tonight,” George says.
You slap his shoulder, glaring daggers at him, now.
“Did he apologize?” Lily asks.
“Of course!” You snap. “Because he’s fucking Charles Leclerc, and-“
Before you can launch into one of your tirades, Lily waves her hand. “Forget I asked. Never mind. This subject is banned until the weekend is over- we’re all here, this is supposed to be a nice dinner.”
You sigh and slump into your chair. “Okay, mom.”
Once the conversation starts, though, and you have your shot of tequila, you forget about Charles. You’re here to spend time with your friends, not worry about your teammate. It’s the first time in a while that both of their girlfriends have been able to make it to the same race. You’ve been looking forward to it all week, and you refuse to let Charles sour it. Besides, they’ve all heard it before, they don’t need to hear you complain again.
The next day, when you take 5th and Charles takes first, you don’t let him see you cry. You sneak out of the celebrations as early as you possibly can and head back to the hotel.It’s just so frustrating. You’re trying so hard, giving it your all, and it’ll never be enough. You want the podiums, the trophies, the champagne spraying in your face. You want it all, everything Charles has. He takes it for granted.
When you open your hotel room door, there’s a giant bouquet of flowers on the dresser. For a moment, you think maybe it’s from your family, or maybe George and Alex, a sympathy present for a race that held so much potential. You slip your finger under the flap of the envelope and pull the card out of the white flowers.
Sorry about Quali,
CL
You throw the flowers and the note in the trash and cry yourself to sleep.
…..
Lily tried to convince you that the flowers were actually supposed to be an apology, but you’d refused to see it as anything other than what it was- a way to get in your head. So at the next race, you leave it all on the track. You manage to qualify 4th- not the best you’ve ever done, but you feel pretty good about it. You feel even better that Charles is starting in 7th. He’ll be stuck in the midfield, in the dirty air, while you fight with the big dogs. You’re on cloud nine, floating around the garage, thanking your crew and your engineers and offering drinks on you if you get a podium on Sunday. It wouldn’t be your first, but it would be your first in a while, and it would really crush Charles, you just know it.
“Congrats,” he says, standing next to you in the media pen.
You think he waits to talk to you until there’s cameras around. It makes him look good, being nice to his teammate. You can play the PR game too. You plaster on a bright smile. Behind Charles, Alex raises his brows at you. You tone down the smile and he gives you a thumbs up.
“Thanks,” you say, shrugging slightly. “Sorry about seventh.”
He shrugs. “Could be worse.”
You head into the lion’s den just after that, hit with a barrage of questions about every aspect of the weekend. How does it feel to be starting fourth? Good. Do you feel good about your chances tomorrow? Yes. How’s the car feel? Good. Are you hoping for a podium? Always. What did you give Charles to convince him to let you qualify higher than him this weekend? What?
The reporter who asked it is sneering at you. Your media handler balks at the question, fumbles to grab your arm. She’s afraid you’re going to snap, but to be honest, you’re too dumbfounded to find the words. Maybe he doesn’t deserve a response anyways.
“She didn’t give me anything,” Charles says, grabbing the microphone from your hand, and now you’re seeing red for a different reason. “She didn’t need to. She did it all on her own.”
Which is true, and nice of him to say. Objectively. But he’s not saying it because it’s true, or because he wants to be nice. You can already picture his devoted fans, clipping the video and making TikTok edits that make him look like a saint. He is, in their eyes. In everyone’s eyes.
You leave the microphone with him and stalk back to your driver room.
You run into Charles in the hallway later, when you’re slinking your way to catering to try and find something good to eat. He’s just- there, all of the sudden, broad shoulders taking up all the space. You try to slip around him, but he moves with you.
You look up at him, raising your brows and throwing your hands up. “What, Leclerc?”
He raises his brows, too. “Just wanted to say sorry. For what he said. It’s not true, you know.”
“Yes, Charles, I know I didn’t… blow you or whatever to get you to let me qualify better,” you say, and he rears his head back. “Can you move?”
“Hey,” he says, voice soft. “Look, I just wanted to say-“
“I think you’ve said enough,” you snap. “You said it all, live on camera. The whole world heard it.”
“I was just trying to stand up for you.”
“I can stand up for myself,” you say, throat feeling tight. “I’ve been doing it my whole career. No need to step in now. And honestly, we both know you get off on being the savior, so cut the shit.”
You finally find a gap and slip around him. You walk out of the garage and all the way down to Williams. Nobody stops you when you head to Alex’s room- he’s there, and George is too.
“We were wondering when you’d show up,” George says, as Alex holds his arms out wide. “Fucking bullshit, the whole lot of it.”
You nod and collapse into Alex’s chest. Neither of them comment on your tears.
“At least Charles stood up for you,” George says brightly.
“Fuck off,” you say, and Alex slaps his shoulder for you.
…..
They call a red flag three laps in, and your team calls you into the pits before you can even figure out what’s going on. You’re in third, having moved past Lewis in the opening chaos. Your heart sinks, knowing that when the race restarts you’ll have lost the lead you’d built up. You search the big screens as you pull into the pit lane, trying to figure out what’s happened, and then your heart sinks even more.
It’s a Mercedes, crumpled against the barriers. They only show it for a second, and you can’t hear any of what the commentators are saying. You hadn’t caught the number or the helmet, and- it’s either Lewis or George.
As much as you like Lewis, you’ve been friends with George since you were little. He and Alex had taken you under their wings, accepted you when a lot of the others wouldn’t. Your heart pounds wildly in your chest as they help you climb out of your car.
You flip your visor up and look to the nearest mechanic. “Who is it?”
He stares, blankly, and you already know.
“Who is it?” You ask, louder, looking around the room frantically.
“S’George,” someone finally answers.
“Is he-“
“We don’t know yet,” someone says, gently. “Just-“
The panic claws at your chest. You haven’t felt like this a long time, not since Lily called you from the hospital when Alex had appendicitis. You can’t breathe, can’t see, can feel your fingers.
There’s a ripple of noise, applause from the crowd. You look at the TV, see George, standing strong and holding up a thumbs up. It should be a relief, but the panic doesn’t fade. Suddenly someone’s hands are on your shoulders, guiding you into the hallway. Fingers brush against your jaw, unbuckling your helmet and wiggling it off your head. You gasp for air, and strong hands hold you steady.
“Breathe, breathe, it’s okay, he’s okay,” Charles says.
You should be shocked it’s him, but right now all you can feel is panic. You grab onto his wrists, looking for an anchor in the storm. He doesn’t let go, just holds onto you, squeezes your shoulders until you start breathing slower and slower. He only drops his grip when you drop yours. You wipe tears and snot and sweat from your face and sigh.
Suddenly it hits you- it’s Charles, holding onto you, witnessing your panic attack. You take a couple steps back.
“It’s okay,” he says again, reaching out. You brush him away. “Hey, how about we go sit, yes? Have some water?”
“I’m fine,” you sniffle.
“You’re not.”
“Why do you care?” You ask, tears springing to your eyes again.
“Because you’re my teammate,” he says. “Because your friend crashed and you are upset.”
You roll your eyes. Charles has the audacity to look confused. Like he doesn’t know.
“You don’t have to act like you like me, Charles. There aren’t any cameras around,” you snap.
Charles blinks once, then again. “What?”
“You can drop the act,” you say as you cross your arms over your chest. “I already know you hate me, you don’t have to pretend. You can go.”
Charles looks utterly and completely perplexed. For a moment, you falter. He hates you. Why does he seem so confused? It’s not that difficult to understand. Why had he even come back here with you in the first place? He could’ve let one of your crew members help you, or left you to deal with it alone. What the hell is going on here?
“I don’t hate you,” he says, voice soft. “Why would you think I hate you?”
“You’ve hated me since I got here,” you remind him. “Actually, since before I even signed the fucking contract.”
“What are you talking about?”
You stare at him, wide eyed. Is it possible he doesn’t even remember? Maybe he hates you that much.
“When I came to the factory for contract negotiations,” you start, “you made it very clear I was the last possible person you wanted as your teammate.”
You’d been leaving the factory. He’d stopped you in the hall. Sounds like you might be my new teammate, he’d said. Hopefully, if it all goes well, you’d replied. Any advice?
He’d looked around, checked to see that nobody was there. Then, voice low and serious, arms crossed, he’d said, this is the last place you belong. If you know what’s best for you, you will not sign that contract.
You’d left that day heartbroken and with a vendetta against him.
Charles’ eyes go wide when you repeat his words back to you. “I did not say that.”
“I think I’d remember,” you tell him, trying again to shove past him.
“No, no, I mean- I didn’t mean it like that,” he says, insistent, grabbing onto your arm gently. “I- that was before they hired Fred, yes?”
“Yes?” You answer, furrowing your brows at him.
“And before they changed the staff, before they-“ he sighs. “I had a shit year. I was worried the next was going to be the same. I was trying to warn you.”
Now it’s your turn to blink once, then again. “No, you…”
“I swear,” he says. “On my life, I swear.”
He draws a tiny cross with his finger, right over his heart. You take a step back and drag a hand down your face. Your head is spinning, tilted on an insane axis.
“You thought I hated you, all this time?” He says, brows furrowed. “I sent you flowers, after the quali thing-“
“I thought you were playing mind games!” You cry out.
He’s reaching for your arm again. This time you let him. His fingers dig into your skin pleasantly- not enough to feel bad, just enough to know he’s there. It’s like the fight has suddenly left your body. He doesn’t hate you. He sent you flowers because he really was sorry.
And you threw them in the trash.
“So when I stood up for you with that reporter, you thought…” he trails off, then laughs. “What, you thought I was- this is why you reacted so badly. This explains so much.”
“Yes!” You say, nodding. “Why are you so fucking ominous with your warnings? Why were you so cryptic?”
“English is not my first language and I had to be careful about how I said it, there could have been people listening!” He says, laughing again. “You didn’t listen, anyways.”
“No, because then I wanted to prove to you that I could handle myself, that I deserved the seat!”
“Of course you deserved the seat,” he says, wide eyed. “That was never a question.”
The two of you stare at each other for a beat. Then you double over in laughter, tears streaming down your face for a different reason. Charles joins you, his laughter mixing with yours for the first time ever. The noise of it sends a jolt through your heart.
He doesn’t hate you. How crazy is that?
…..
When you run into Alex in the paddock later, he’s staring like you’ve grown a second head. Actually, with the intensity of his stare, you think you may have grown two extra heads. Maybe even a third eye. He comes to a stop in front of you, and you cock your head at him.
“Hey, Al,” you greet him. “Have you seen Georgie? He’s not at Merc.”
“Yeah, he’s… he’s at the stewards, doing a debrief,” Alex says. “He said he’d meet us at the driver briefing.”
“Oh, cool,” you say. “How’s he doing?”
“He’s fine,” Alex says, eyes flickering across your face.
“That’s good. I’m glad,” Charles says from his spot next to you.
His arm is slung around your shoulders, his race suit tied around his waist, just like yours. You take it in from Alex’s viewpoint- the proximity, the fact that you’re even letting him touch you, and the look on his face makes sense.
“Hey, did you know Charles doesn’t actually hate me?” You ask Alex, and next to you, your teammate laughs.
“I told you that a million times,” Alex deadpans.
“Huh. Weird.” You shrug. “We should go, the briefing starts in five minutes.”
Alex trails behind the two of you, quiet the whole way there. Charles peels off when you arrive and stops to say hi to Max. George is already sitting down in a chair near the front. You sit down next to him, eyes tracing over him like you’re looking for injuries. Alex sits on his other side.
“I’m fine,” George says, nudging your shoulder lightly.
“Excuse me if I’m worried,” you say with a roll of your eyes.
Alex opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, someone sits down next to you and elbows you lightly. It’s Charles, a cold water bottle in hand, extended towards you. You take it eagerly. His knee nudges against yours, and you nudge him back. You thank him, opening the water bottle and taking a drink.
“Mate, I think I hit my head harder than I realized,” George whispers to Alex.
“Nope, you’re seeing correctly,” Alex says, holding his hands up when George turns towards him. “I don’t know either!”
…..
It turns out that when you’re not busy thinking Charles hates you, and hating him back, he’s actually pretty fun to be around. The two of you have nearly everyone else bewildered for the next few races, because you’re suddenly attached at the hip. You’ve always been civil in public, but this is a different story.
In briefings, Charles saves you a seat, and Alex and George have to fight over who gets to sit next to you. You eat lunches and dinners together in the paddock, out in the open at a patio table. Charles brings you coffee in the mornings, and you bring him pastries. During breaks, the two of you can often be found hunched over your phone, watching YouTube videos together. You have a surprising amount in common. You wonder how you never saw it before.
Charles even takes you with him to play padel one morning, brings you a half hour early to try and show you how. When George and Alex show up to play against you, they stare at you in confusion for a solid thirty seconds.
“You don’t understand,” Alex says over lunch with you and Lily later that day. “He had his hand on her waist.”
Lily is the only one who hadn’t been surprised. She shrugs.
“He was correcting my posture,” you say. “Alex is just mad that I beat him.”
“Charles beat me, you were just on his team,” Alex corrects. He’s not exactly wrong. “Come on, like, two months ago she hated his guts. Tell me this isn’t crazy, Lil. I think we need an intervention.”
“You know, I don’t think you’re supposed to talk about the intervention in front of the intervention-ee,” you say, stirring your pasta. “Intervention-ette?”
“She’s fine,” Lily says, smiling at you. “She’s just finding out that hate and love are a lot more similar than you’d think.”
You drop your fork, wincing when it clatters. “I don’t love him.”
Lily cocks her head at you. You freeze. Alex is looking back and forth between the two of you like it’s a tennis match. You can feel your face growing hot.
“I don’t,” you repeat. “We’re friends, that’s all.”
Lily blinks, feigns surprise. “I never said anything about romantic love.”
You swallow. “Yeah, but that’s what you meant-“
“That’s what you assumed I meant,” she says, and you blink.
There are butterflies in your stomach- where did those come from? You definitely don’t love Charles. Like Alex said- two months ago, you hated him. Well, you hated that he hated you. You hated the way you thought he was treating you. But now, in a different light, his actions seem a bit endearing. You’re just swept up in the new friendship, that’s all. Lily’s reading too far into it.
You tell her as much, and she drops the subject. Alex seems happy to move on, a bit unprepared to handle the whole conversation. But Lily watches you, and you can’t help but feel like maybe she knows something you don’t.
…..
It sticks in your head, is the thing. Hate and love are a lot more similar than you think. And to be honest, it sort of makes sense. Both very strong emotions, both making your chest feel tight and your cheeks feel hot. You’re not in love with Charles, though. You can’t be. He’s just- a friend. He’s a friend, and it’s new, and of course you’re going to spend time together. You’re getting to know each other! This is normal, this is teammate bonding like you were supposed to do when you joined the team.
It’s not weird that Charles introduces you to his family when they come to one of the races. It’s not weird that you’re inviting him out for drinks when you go out with George and Alex after a race. It’s not weird that you start actually playing padel and asking him to help you practice- it’s fun, and he’s good at it, that’s all.
Then you’re out at a club in Monaco one night, surrounded by other drivers. You go to leave, Lily tugging on your hand. The two of you are having a sleepover without Alex. You’re saying your goodbyes, waving and smiling and-
Charles grabs onto you, hauls you into a hug. He’s a little tipsy, you think, but not drunk. You laugh and lean into the hug, wrap your arms around him, breathe in the smell of his cologne and laundry detergent. Then he pulls away, puts his hands on your shoulders, and kisses both of your cheeks.
Butterflies erupt in your stomach. Lily has to drag you away as you giggle before you make a fool of yourself. Charles waves and smiles brightly when you turn around. You burst out onto the sidewalk and cover your face in your hands. Really, it means nothing. It’s just his way of greeting people or saying goodbye, it’s a thing he does. But your chest feels warm and your head is swimming, and it’s not the alcohol.
“Oh, shit,” you say to Lily, who’s smiling at you.
“Love and hate,” she reminds you.
…..
You swear Lily to secrecy, and though she loves Alex, she would never sell you out, thank god. You’re determined to act like everything is normal. You can’t be in love with your teammate. That would be crazy. It would be awful. It would be everything that everyone has ever said about female drivers, all confirmed. You’d get torn apart on the internet.
It’s not easy, though, because it’s Charles. Because he’s sweet and kind and handsome, and he cares about you. He doesn’t hate you. He wants to spend time with you, all the time. They say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but you think they’ve got it backwards. Maybe there’s a second part- presence makes the heart go crazy.
When you qualify in pole position for the first time in your F1 career, you have a panic attack. It’s a massive one, one that has your legs giving out and leaves you hyperventilating. It’s bad enough that Charles almost goes and gets George or Alex, but you beg him to stay with you, so he does. Eventually, he just wraps you up tightly in his arms and holds you there until you can breathe again.
“I’m not going to be able to do it,” you sniffle, as he runs his hand over your hair and rocks you from side to side. “I’m gonna crash on the first turn and then everyone is gonna be right, and I’ll lose my seat, and then-“
“No, amour, that is not going to happen,” Charles soothes, chest rumbling against you. “It is not. You are going to do just fine.”
“But what if I don’t? What if I can’t win, what if I don’t do it-“
“Then you will try again next time,” he says, so sure of it, like he can see the future. “You are starting on pole tomorrow. It’s scary, I know. But it’s just another race. You just… go out and give it your all. The same way you do every weekend.”
“You’ll keep them away from me?” You ask. Charles is starting third.
“No,” he scoffs, a laugh bubbling up from his lips. For just a moment, your heart breaks. Then, he says, “I will not need to. You will be so far ahead you’ll forget anyone else is even there.”
You laugh, press your teary face into his chest. “Shut up.”
…..
You check your rear views before the race starts, something comforting running through your veins when you see Charles behind you. You can’t see his face, can barely see his helmet, but you see the red. Then the lights go out, and he disappears in a blur. Give it all you got, you hear, unsure if it’s your race engineer or you or a voice in your head. You hold your breath for the first few turns, maybe for the whole first lap. And then your race engineer is talking about gaps and clean air and tire management, and you’re looking ahead, trying to see what car you need to try and pass next, trying to tell if you’re in DRS range, and then-
There’s nobody in front of you. Clean air. You’re in first. You’re leading the Grand Prix.
When you come careening over the line at the end of the race, when you see the checkered flag first, when you spot your crew on the pit wall, you swear your heart is going to beat out of your chest. Your race engineer is yelling in excitement. You think you’re yelling too, but you have no idea what you’re saying. It doesn’t matter.
You pull the car into the first place slot and climb out. You have to wrack your brain to remember what you’re supposed to do- it’s been so long since you’ve won a race, back when you were still in F2. Hug the team, get weighed, shake hands, grab the hat- Someone grabs your arm. You spin around and come face to face with Ferrari red. Charles.
He pulls you into a tight hug. Your helmets knock together. He’s saying something, over and over again.
“-told you, I told you, I knew you would do it,” he says. “I’m so proud of you.”
Charles takes your helmet and balaclava for you when you finally get them off. He takes his off too, and his face is red, dimples deep as he grins at you. He’s finished 7th, he tells you. Got passed in the first lap and never recovered.
“-told you you didn’t need me defending,” he says, and you’re laughing, shoving his shoulder. “You did so fucking good-“
The butterflies are going crazy in your stomach. You want to kiss him. The helmet has left a little indent on his cheek- you want to run your finger over it. But there are so many cameras and people watching, and suddenly you’re being pulled away from him, sent to the cool down room. Then it’s shaking hands with Max and Lewis again, watching the race highlights, basking in the excitement of it all. There’s the podium, the champagne, the trophy that you don’t let go of until you get back to the Ferrari garage. The giant group photo with the trophy, more champagne dumped over your head, Charles lost in the sea of red somewhere. It’s all such a blur.
You finally stumble back to your driver’s room, in a rush to change out of your race kit and grab your stuff. Someone has rented out a bar- they apparently did it when you qualified on pole, and didn’t tell you for fear of jinxing it. You text George and Alex, tell them where to meet you. With your stuff in hand, in a pair of sweatpants and a Ferrari sweatshirt, you finally stop and look in the mirror.
F1 Grand Prix winner.
There’s a knock on the door. You open it and find Charles standing there, in a very similar outfit. The line on his face has faded, but his hair is still a mess. You step back from the door and give him room to step inside. He’s staring at you, a soft look on his face. You’re holding your breath again. It’s the first lap. You just have to make it through the turns, get out ahead into clean air. His lips are parted, eyes wide and sparkling.
His hands are shaky when they cup your face. Yours are even shakier when you fist your hands in his sweatshirt. But the kiss he pulls you into is steady and sure and true. You melt into him, shoving your hands under his sweatshirt as he pulls you close with an arm around your waist. You reach up, thread your fingers through his hair, let his tongue slip into your mouth.
When he pulls away, his eyes are wild.
“We have to go,” he says, squeezing your hip. “You have a party to be at. Also, you are so pretty.”
You can remember the way he looked at you at the start of the season. How you thought the fire in his eyes was going to burn you alive. You’d stoked your own fire to burn him up first. Now you’re blazing, and you never want the fire to go out.
“I can’t believe I thought you hated me,” you say, muffling a laugh into his chest. “You’re coming to the party, right?”
“Of course,” he says. He cups your face in his hands again and presses another kiss to your lips. “And tomorrow, you are coming on a date with me, right?”
You laugh, his thumbs brushing your cheeks. “Of course.”
“Perfect,” he says, kissing your forehead and then letting you go. “Come on, winner. You have so many people waiting to buy you drinks.”
…..
When you walk into the bar hand in hand with Charles, Lily slams her hand down on the table.
“Pay up, boys,” she says, a wide grin on her face.
“Never in a million years did I see that coming,” George says.
“I’m never betting against Lily ever again,” Alex adds.
Max leans down over the table, holding his hand out, too. George and Alex groan and start pulling cash from their wallets.
“Hate and love,” Max says, a smirk on his face. “Very thin line, huh?”
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golden-cherry · 5 months
Text
deal - cl16 (19/?)
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x Reader
Series Summary: Your whole life has gone to shit. Your boyfriend broke up with you, you just lost your job and the Monegasque, who suddenly stands in your doorway, claims that it’s his apartment.
Chapter Summary: There's so much going on in Charles' brain, but having to come clean with his feelings is the hardest.
Warnings: 18+ (mentions of fingering, masturbating), angst, swear words, Lando being a little shit
Word Count: 3.4k
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A/N: sorry. and happy season finale. let’s hope for a better 2024.
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Charles has never been so happy about a pot of plants. 
After you slammed the door in his face, he barely made it to the street before throwing up in the nearest plant pot. His fingers clawed around the hard ceramic edges as his body struggled against the nasty words he spat at you. 
He doesn't even know why he was so mean to you. 
Was it because you had a wonderful evening last night? Because you two got so close that you both almost kissed? Because you fell asleep next to each other and he slept incredibly well? Or because Lando texted him in the middle of the night and asked what your favorite food was so that he could do everything right on your date?
Maybe he does know why he was so mean to you. 
"Charles? Concentrate, please," he is snapped out of his thoughts and Charles sits up a little straighter in his chair. He can feel something crack in his spine.
The meeting has been going on for hours. So long, in fact, that the private chefs in Maranello have already had to bring food to the room four times, with the last meal being dinner. Charles has eaten so much pasta and bruschetta that he feels sick just looking at the leftovers on the table in front of him. And the water with the slice of lemon in the glass in front of him no longer tastes very refreshing.
No matter what he eats or drinks, he can't get rid of the disgusting taste in his mouth. 
He wonders if your "I hate you" is as heavy on your stomach as the nasty words are on his. He would love to take back everything he spat in your face. Turn back time and undo everything. But he can't do that. Unfortunately. 
He'd love to bang his head on the tabletop. 
In fact, he can barely remember what he said. It's as if his brain short circuited, has had some kind of blackout, or as if a bomb has gone off and wiped everything out. Which doesn't excuse any of it. But from your hurt look, the tears in your eyes and your venomous response, it was so unacceptable that he'd like to slap himself for it. 
It wasn't the first time Lando had asked Charles for dating help and they are actually such good friends that Charles has always been happy to help him. But the fact that the Brit asked for help so that he could take you out nicely - that doesn't sit right with him. Which is complete nonsense, because he has no reason to. He has no claim of ownership over you. And besides, he didn't want to kiss you in the bookstore. 
Although that's not entirely true either.
He did want to kiss you. Desperately. And you'd been so close all day, you'd shown him your favorite place and everything had pointed to you wanting to make the move to something more - and then you gave him that look when he asked you for a dance. And he can understand why you didn't want to. After all, it's your place, your favorite place, and never would Charles do anything to tarnish that place in any way. Create a memory that you would later regret. 
The Petit Mondes is your safe haven. And as much as Charles wants you - and he definitely does - he wouldn't cross that line.
Since you've known each other, Charles has had to fight every waking - and to be honest, every sleeping - moment not to jump you. He can't stop thinking about you standing in front of him half-naked in a towel. Or how you turned around just a few steps away from him before dinner with his friends to show him your outfit. How you slept next to him and dreamt - dreamt of him. A moment he will never forget. 
Although he is actually a late riser, Charles woke up early that morning. Not because he had slept in, but because he was warm. Contrary to his expectations, it wasn't because of the comforter or the heating, but because you were lying half on top of him. Your head was resting against his shirt-clad chest, one of your legs was draped over his hip, while your arm was wrapped around his middle. 
At first, he didn't understand what was going on at all. He wanted to lift his arm to rub the sleep from his eyes, but he was met with resistance in the form of a lightly clad, sleeping beauty. His arm was wrapped around your waist, his hand was a little too high on your ribs to pass for being friendly, and by God - he hadn't felt this comfortable in ages.
Feeling your closeness had triggered something in him that confused him, but at the same time made him incredibly relaxed. He had pulled you closer to him, pressed you against him and enjoyed your warmth. For a moment, he had even considered whether he should just pull you all over him so that he could be as close to you as possible. 
Before he could think about how wrong that would be and how many boundaries he would be crossing, you had turned in his arms so that your back was against his chest. Your body molded perfectly against his, your warmth engulfing him, but nothing could have prepared him for the fact that you were going to move your butt a little in his direction, right up against his crotch. 
Charles had been awake in a flash and while you continued to sleep soundly, all the blood from his brain had rushed to his dick. Embarrassed, he'd squinted and focused on something else - Ferrari strategies, Joris last Christmas with the Leclercs, anything - and had scooted back a few inches to stick his hand down his pants so he could fix his raging boner.
But alas, you'd followed him like a magnet, squirming against him like you knew exactly what you were doing, so that his cock was wedged between your ass cheeks. Your body had been so warm, so soft against his hard one, that he had to stifle a moan.
Something you hadn't been able to do. If you hadn't been so close to him, he would have missed your soft gasp of his name. That's when he blew a fuse.
He would have loved to wake you up with kisses along your neck, let his fingers wander slowly over your skin until they finally disappeared into your panties. He would have let them glide through your folds and collect your wetness before gently rubbing your bundle of nerves. You would have turned to him and moaned into his mouth as he slid one of his fingers into your tight walls.
He'd never escaped his bedroom so quickly and quietly and jumped into the freezing cold shower.
The water felt like fine pinpricks as it splashed down on his burning hot skin, but no matter how cold he turned it on - his cock stood angry and proud. He put his head back in despair, his brain vehemently refusing to see his friend in this light, to desire you like this. But before he could do anything about it, his fingers had wrapped themselves around his aching cock. His imagination ran away with him, too many images popped up in his mind's eye as he squeezed it twice in the hope of relieving some tension. But the only thing it triggered was the feeling of a moment ago, when his cock was against your ass. 
He was almost ashamed of how quickly he came. 
He just hoped you didn't notice when he came back into the bedroom and woke you up with it. He had thought about lying back next to you, but had decided on the foot of the bed to create some distance. 
The fact that you were dreaming about him threw him off course. And he'd really wanted to kiss you - by God, he'd wanted to do even kinkier things to you - but the timing never seemed right. 
And then Lando's message came.
The vibration in his pocket brings him back to the present. Charles takes a quick look around to make sure he's not the center of the conversation, then glances at his phone. 
Lando: You need to come home now.
He looks at the screen, confused. Why the hell is Lando texting him? Lando of all people? Did you tell him all the things Charles threw at you? How badly he treated you? 
Charles: I'm in Maranello. 
If you really did confide in Lando, his answer sounds pathetic. Why else would Lando text him? His friend certainly knows that Charles screwed up. And also that you want to move out of the apartment. But does the Brit really believe that Charles could change your mind when he's the reason you're moving out?
Lando's answer comes immediately.
Lando: I don't care. Get your ass over here. 
The Monegasque turns on the keypad lock on his cell phone and places it on the table in front of him. It wouldn't make any difference if he went home now and tried to change your mind. What could happen is that his presence would only strengthen your decision to move out. Besides, he doesn't know how he's ever going to face you again. 
Before he can think about it, his cell phone starts ringing. The eyes of his co-workers land on him and he apologizes with a quiet "mi dispiace" before leaving the meeting, phone in hand. Out in the corridor, he doesn't even need to look at the screen to know who is calling. 
"If you don't go back to Monaco immediately, I'll come to Italy myself to get you," Lando snaps at him and Charles has to hold the receiver away from his ear to stop his eardrums from bursting.
"Hi, Lando."
"Don't give me 'Hi, Lando'. Get your fucking ass over here."
Charles rubs his forehead before running his whole hand over his face. "I can't just leave here."
"Don't talk shit like that. We both know you're not up for the meeting," the Brit replies bitchily. "Don't act like you don't have a choice."
The Monegasque rolls his eyes. "What do you want to hear from me now, Lando?"
The answer comes like a shot from a gun. "I want to know what you've been up to! Are you completely stupid?"
Charles would like to know the answer too.
"You go home right now, explain your shitty behaviour and apologize."
"And you're interfering because...?" His tone is cold. 
"Because I was in your apartment all evening and had to watch how devastated Y/N was. I'd love to kill you for it."
"Go ahead and do it. She sure as hell wouldn't mind."
He swears he hears Lando take a deep breath on the other end of the line. 
"I'm going to tell you this once. Just once, Charles. And I'm saying this for her sake, because I still have hope that you're the person I was praising to her."
Praising? If you've told Lando everything, then you've certainly told Charles everything about the Brit. That he just wants to get you into bed. So why would Lando want to help him?
"What you did was absolute bullshit, Charles. Totally below the belt and you've never acted as fucking shit as you just did."
Charles rolls his eyes. "Is there anything positive coming?"
"Shut up, you idiot. I don't know what you've done in the few days you've known each other to make her so crazy about you, but I don't have to. Any blind man can see there's something between you. Something good. So go home now and save what can be saved before she really decides to leave the country."
Charles, who had just been leaning against the wall, stands up straight. "The country? I thought she just wanted to move out."
"She's been thinking about it, asshole. United States, Australia. Something really far away from you."
"But she has her job here, at that one magazine. There's no way she'd leave like that."
"She got fired, motherfucker. Before you made your weird deal. Nothing's keeping her here anymore. So get your ass over here now before she really decides to take off."
How could Charles be so blind? He knows the magazine, his mom reads it occasionally and he actually knows that a new issue comes out every week. You've known each other for five days - five days that you've spent entirely with him. Something that would definitely not be possible with such a full-time job. 
"And what do you want from me now? That I drop everything to go home even though she doesn't want to see me?"
"I've never seen anyone as stupid as you."
"Can you stop with the insults?" Charles snaps through the phone. 
"You have nothing to say to me, you arsehole. She told me what you said about me. You owe it to us to go off and try to make things right." 
Charles can't help but laugh. "Us? So you two are already an us?" He doesn't know why he's talking to one of his closest friends like this. Especially when the latter only wants to help put things right that Charles has messed up. The Monegasque has no reason to be angry. But the disgusting taste in his mouth, which he hasn't been able to get rid of for hours, is not anger. Unfortunately, he only realizes it now.
He's fucking jealous. And he can't do anything about it.
"We're friends, but apparently you don't know what the word stands for," Lando replies snippily. "Go home, explain to her why you behaved so badly and apologize to her." His voice softens, warmer than it has been throughout the phone call. "Charles, I know you're being careful because you're afraid of getting hurt again. And I can understand that, I really can." He takes a deep breath. "But it's Y/N we're talking about here. Sit down and talk to each other, be honest, and then it'll all work out."
Charles' gaze wanders to the huge Ferrari logo hanging on the wall next to him and his bad guilt returns. You don't even know who he is. To you, he's Charles, the roommate who shows you beautiful places, introduces you to his friends and with whom you share a bed. You are the only person who knows him as Charles and not as Charles Leclerc.
What would you think of him if the cat was out of the bag? When you see who he really is, including the spotlight? What happens if you like Charles, but not Charles Leclerc? He doesn't know if he could handle it. His job is his life, he's on the road all year round and what little time he has he has to divide between friends and family. 
That's why his relationship with Annika failed. She was right about what she threw at him. That you always have to wait for him and that it's not fair. And she knew what she was getting into from the start. But you don't. You would be thrown in at the deep end if you decided to go for it. If you chose him.
"I don't think it's that easy," Charles says quietly, and he has to suppress the tremor in his voice. "She - she doesn't deserve this life. This risk. She - she," he takes a deep breath and has to wipe away the tear running down his cheek. "She's too good for me. She deserves someone great."
"How strange," Lando replies. "That's exactly what she says about you. So get in the car and apologize. I'm sure you'll be able to sort it out. And if you say shit like that about me again, I'll drive you into the wall in Bahrain next year."
Charles curls his mouth into a thin smile. "I'm truly sorry, Lando. And thank you for everything."
"I'm just absolutely the best." Charles can almost hear his grin before the Brit hangs up.
When the Monegasque re-enters the meeting room, all eyes are on him. With deliberate steps, he walks to his chair and grabs his jacket before looking at his team boss. "I'm going home."
His boss crosses his arms in front of his chest. "You can't just leave like that, Charles. We need to talk about next season and everything that's gone wrong this year."
"I can tell you exactly what happened," the brunette replies as he zips up his jacket. "The strategies this year were all for the trash, you screwed me over and you cost me the title." He grabs his wallet and car keys from the table in front of him. "Make sure things go better next year. After all, it doesn't get any shittier than this. See you next year. Have a good holiday."
He knows that his Ferrari can drive fast. And he also knows that he shouldn't drive that fast. But the roads home are empty and he wants to get to you as quickly as possible, in the hope that you haven't left the apartment yet. The accelerator pedal is almost stuck to the floor and he would certainly have to pay a heavy fine if the police caught him speeding. But apparently luck is on his side and it takes him just over three hours to turn onto the streets of Monaco.
The closer he gets to your apartment, the faster his heart beats and he can feel himself starting to sweat. What's the best way to start the apology?
I'm sorry I was so shitty to you, but it was because -
I behaved like crap, but it was only because - 
I'm sorry I was such a bad friend, but you should have - 
Wow. It actually all sounds like shit. 
Maybe Lando is right. Maybe the most reasonable thing would be for Charles to just be honest, even if it means destroying everything between you. But you deserve the truth.
I'm sorry I said those bad things to you and I'm sorry I hurt you. Of course, apologizing can't undo any of it, but if you gave me the chance, I could explain myself to you. I was jealous because we had such a nice evening and then I find out you planned a date with one of my friends. I wanted to kiss you in the bookstore, I've wanted you ever since we met. You've been messing with my head from the beginning, taking over my heart and I can't think straight when you're with me. Maybe it's crazy because we've only known each other for five days, but I've never felt about someone the way I feel about you. I'm in lo-
His train of thought stops abruptly as he turns into the street. A green Nissan is parked on the sidewalk in front of your apartment, the driver's door is open and the hazard lights illuminate the walls of the house. 
Charles worriedly parks at the next opportunity before jumping out of the car and dashing to the front door, which is wide open. He can already hear angry voices from outside, a male voice that almost shouts the whole house awake. 
And your voice, angry and rough and shaky, as if you were at the end of your tether. 
Charles sprints up the few steps to your apartment and stops like a flash on the top step when he sees you. You're wearing your pyjamas, your hair is disheveled, as if you've run your hand through it several times, and when you see him, you snap your eyes open as if you've seen a ghost. 
But it's not the sight of you that makes Charles' blood boil. 
It's Raphael's, who follows your gaze and takes a step back when he realizes who he's facing. "Your roommate is Charles Leclerc?"
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1K notes · View notes
tommydarlings · 2 months
Text
obsession at first sight | c.l
pairing: dark!stalker!perv!charles x reader
warnings: dark, stalking, obsessive behaviour, possessive behaviour, extremely perverse!charles???, borderline psychotic and mentally sick!charles, male masturbation, drugging, throwing up, gagging (in a non-sexual way!), mention of a panic attack, manipulation, stockholm-syndrome
w/c: 5.8k
summary: Since you’re school ordered you to do an internship somewhere you’d like to work at in the future, you decided to do one at the formula one Ferrari company, it was almost like a dream come true seeing everything in real life… little did you know, that from that point on, you’re life would turn into nothing more than a sick and twisted nightmare. (based off of this request)
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It was love at first sight.
Or to describe it better, it was obsession at first sight. Because the second Charles laid his eyes upon your almost angelic and way to innocent looking figure, he knew he had to have you, one way or another, no matter the consequences, no matter the risks.
You were mindlessly wandering around the Ferrari garage while one of the not oh so important engineers explained some car related stuff to you, showing you around and simply introducing you to Ferrari.
Charles was seeing red as he watched with dark eyes how the engineer that he didn’t even bother knowing the name of showed you around and had the opportunity to talk and look at you.
And even touch you. Charles would have done absolutely anything to place his big hands onto your waist or back, feeling your delicate skin under his rough hands.
While nick — the engineer — happily explained various stuff about Ferrari to you, you caught Charles staring at you multiple times already, looking at your face, looking at your thighs covered in the black pair of leggings or starring right at your cleavage, biting his inner cheek each time you took a deep breath which made your breasts appear even bigger.
You thought it was weird since the two of you didn’t even exchange a single word yet and also probably won’t in the future but you didn’t mention it to anyone, not thinking to much about it and focusing more on the work related stuff nick was explaining to you.
Most probably, you were simply delusional. But you could sworn upon your life that you caught Charles taking a picture, or maybe even multiple picture of you, some even from different angles.
But you were probably just seeing things, so you decided to ignore it and shake it off, not thinking nor talking about it as you shook your head and removed your gaze from the weirdly–behaving monaguesque, smiling at nick again.
And oh did Charles hate the fact that you flashed this basically no-name engineer your pretty little smile that he wished to draw on your face each time you look at him from across the garage, but he could only dream.
At least for now.
“Charles! You’re needed!” One of the managers yelled at the young driver, making Charles still not remove his eyes from you.
A little smirk creeped up on his face as he watched your figure walking around next to the engineer, “coming,” he mumbled more to himself before he put his phone that contained multiple pictures of you from various angles back into his pocket, quickly walking away from you, leaving you even more confused.
“Don’t forget to hand in your assignments that are due until tomorrow, guys!” Your professor, Mr. Gregory, yelled through the big hall that’s filled with loud students chatting about their internships.
You smiled to yourself since you already finished it and don’t have anything to do today, so you happily left the building with your books in your hands.
Your intuition was telling you that something was off as soon as you made your way to the bus stop, multiple times checking your surroundings to see if anything seemed foul, but there was nothing.
At least that’s what you thought.
Charles — who was closely watching you the entire day already, could only chuckled as he watched you shaking your head to yourself and walk towards the bus stop you walk to every Friday at exactly 2:20 p.m with the exact same three books in your arms.
Science, literature and mathematics. Charles knew it all, he would be stupid if he wouldn’t since he’s been studying you since you left Ferrari.
The day you left Ferrari, December the 11th at around 3 p.m, Charles felt uneasy. He felt like they wickedly ripped you away from him and told you not to think to much about him.
Even though he wanted to be the only thing on your pretty little mind, just like you were the only thing on his mind.
He noticed how your feet carried your breakable, little body faster than the usual pace towards the familiar bus stop, making Charles furrow his brows.
'Why was she walking so fast?' He thought to himself before he quickly crossed the street and followed you, eyes not being able to rip themselves away from your bouncing skirt and pretty legs as he walked closer and closer to your rushing figure.
While walking behind you, Charles quickly grabbed his camera and snapped a couple of pictures of you. Some of your silky smooth hair, some of your soft legs, but most of your bottom which was covered by your white, bouncy skirt.
He bit his lips as he zoomed even further in, focusing on taking a picture in the perfect moment where the slight breeze of the wind would blow your thin skirt to the side and expose the bottom line of your panties a bit, forcing Charles to readjust his jeans.
“Fucking hell, angel,” he mumbled deeply to himself before he took a brief look at the photos he just took, “please never stop wearing that goddamn skirt, y/n baby.”
While Charles was rubbing himself over his jeans with one of his hands while the other hand held his thousand dollar camera, you were busy with your phone as you waited for the bus to come, releasing a breath of relief as he finally came.
But right when you wanted to step forward, one of your heavy books slipped out of your hand and landed onto the dirty, hard concrete floor, making you whine since you really didn’t wanted to bend down with the other heavy books in your arms.
“Wait! Here, I’ll help you,” you heard somebody yelling as a man ran towards you, taking you by surprise as you realised who it was.
“Charles Leclerc?” You laughed, not expecting to see him here… with an expansive looking camera in his hand?
Charles briefly smiled at you as he heard you saying his name, quickly trying to push the camera a bit out of your view before he bend down and picked your book back up,
“The one and only,” he joked with a kind smile, making you giggle as he handed you your science book.
Charles quickly cleared his throat as he glanced at the upcoming bus who was coming closer and closer to the bus stop the two of you were currently standing at, “You enjoyed your time at Ferrari? Did nick treat you well?” He asked with furrowed brows.
You were suprised that he even remembered you, nodding at his question, “Yep! I really liked it and nick was a great teacher, yeah!” You answered with a gentle smile.
Charles nodded even though his blood was boiling at the mention of another man’s name coming out of your pretty little but sadly empty mouth.
He shook his head with a smile as he thought about how much of his cock he could effortlessly be able to shove into your mouth before he would hear the fist gagging sound, before he would see the first tears welling up in your eyes and before he would have to wipe the first tears away from your hallowed cheeks.
“Thank you,” you quietly told him before you stepped into your bus and took off, leaving Charles at the bus stop with a growing boner and the most sinful fantasies in his head.
All of them obviously including you.
Charles bit his lip with a sinister smile on his face as he put some tape onto the last picture that he just printed out and sticked it to the other 49 pictures on his wall, admiring the big wall that he just proudly filled with dozens of pictures from different days and different angles.
After a few seconds of simply starring at the with pictures filled wall, he sat down onto the bed across from the covered wall and swiftly opened his pants, eagerly pulling his cock out before he slowly stared pumping his length, groaning and throwing his head back as he did so.
“Fucking shit, mon amour,” he furrowed his brows in pleasure before he groaned again,
“You make me go crazy,” the monaguesque gulped, eyes focused on the multiple pictures sticking to the wall across from his sitting figure,
“Tellement fou, tu n'en as aucune idée,” so fucking crazy, you have no idea, Charles harshly gripped the sheets with his other hand as his eyes tried to focus on one picture, but it was impossible, his gaze locked onto almost all of them, forcing more groans and moans out of him.
His knuckles were already turning red from how rough he was fisting the sheets next to his hips as his other hand got quicker, wet and slick sounds filling the hot air while Charles's eyes slightly watered from the immense pleasure he currently felt just by looking at the picture across from him.
“Oh god, oh god!” His head fell forward this time, hand that he was jerking himself off with trembling now, “I’m gonna cum for you, y/n!” He gasped loudly, deep moans and groans turning into whines, “Tu vas me faire jouir, oh mon dieu!” You’re gonna make me cum, oh my god!
Only a couple seconds later Charles was painting the various pictures with his load, eyes squeezed shut and deep, heavy breaths filling the air as his hand and legs slightly trembled from all the pleasure.
As Charles opened his eyes again and looked up at his well decorated wall, he was only able to smile at the sight on front of him.
His cum was perfectly covering a picture that he took of you yesterday. It was a bright picture that was showing your smiley face, a smiley face that was now covered in Charles's cum.
The Ferrari driver licked his lips before he buttoned his jeans back up again and laughed at the pictures.
Another one right in front of him was showing you laying on your bed in just a short top and your pink panties, some of his fresh cum now also covering your peachy ass that was facing Charles's camera since you were laying on your stomach.
Then his eyes caught a picture of you in college, nicely sitting like a good and smart girl in one of your lectures during what he guessed was German class.
He followed you everywhere. There was no place where you could possibly escape him, he knew all of your lectures and friends. When you have science or math class, when lunch break begins and ends, when you have your next German or history exam, and when you meet up after school with your friend Katie.
He knew it all. He studied it all. To the brim.
Charles slowly stood up and walked over to one of the pictures that he first sticked onto the wall since it was one of his favourite pictures — not like he got a specific favourite one since he loves every single one of them — but this one had a special place in his heart.
It was the picture of you waiting for your bus a few days ago, three books in your hands and a pretty white bow in your hair while the wind helped Charles this day and lifted your skirt up a bit, exposing the bottom of your ass cheeks to his camera.
Charles was sure that he could cum again just by looking at the picture and rubbing his fingertips over it, especially over your ass.
“Oh mon petit lapin, les choses que j'aurais pu te faire ce jour-là, mais je me suis retenu parce que je suis un bon homme, tu devrais me remercier bébé, ouais... tu devrais me remercier petit lapin,” Oh my little bunny, the things I could have done to you that day, but I held myself back because I’m a good man, you should thank me baby, yeah… you should thank me little bunny.
Then he leaned forward and gave the picture a kiss, placing his lips right there where your white skirt barely covered your bum.
Charles smiled at the picture, hand already rubbing himself through his jeans again… your body always gave him a boner.
“Hop as far away from me as you can, little bunny,” he tilted his head to the side with a tiny smile, “I will always catch you.” His smile fell before he opened his jeans back up again, urge just simple to big to resist.
“hurry up, little bunny,” Charles mumbled to himself before he went back to watching you through his binoculars again, “Your literature lesson begins in 20 minutes and we don’t want you to be late, now do we?”
The monaguesque watched closely from one of the windows with his black pair of binoculars as you hurried through your apartment, heavy bag strapped to your well dressed body.
But when were you not well dressed? Looking all pretty and sweet, obviously only for Charles. Exactly. Never.
“You’ve got 15 minutes left y/n, goddamnit hurry up or I drag you personally to your lesson, baby,” Charles hissed to himself before a notification on his phone caught his attention.
'Dear students of class 11B, since your literature teacher, Mr. Woolword, called in sick today… you won’t be having literature in your first period, instead you’ll be lucky and have a free period.'
And as soon as Charles read that — since he’s logged into your school schedule app with your account — he jumped up and sprinted towards one of the windows in the very back of your apartment, quietly entering your home for the hundredth time already.
“Oh god, I need to leave, shit my literature books!” You mumbled to yourself but Charles heard it, swiftly making his way to your room and taking the heavy books with him, hiding in the meantime in your closet, leaving the door a tiny bit open to get a good peek at you.
Charles caught how you cutely furrowed your brows and turned into every direction to find your literature books, but it was no use, you couldn’t find them and you were already running way to late.
The Ferrari driver who was carefully watching you with your books in his arms, grinned and bit his lip, holding the books in one arm before he grabbed his camera and quietly laid down onto the floor.
Oh you made a great choice by wearing a dress today.
With a wicked grin, Charles focused himself on being quiet but still catching the perfect moments to take a picture of your panties peeking through the bottom of the dress, smile widening each time he got the perfect picture of your bottom.
“Oh mon Dieu,” oh god, Charles groaned quietly in a raspy tone before he started rubbing his crotch against the hard floor, biting his lip and groaning and moaning in very quiet and soft tones to not catch your attention before he snapped a couple more pictures.
“Ugh, fuck it, I am already so late,” you angrily muttered to yourself before you stormed out of the room and put your shoes on, swiftly running to the bus stop… without your literature books that you — unbeknown to you — wouldn’t even need today anyway.
“Seriously, I’m so happy that we have a free period!” Your friend, Lydia, said with a bright smile, making you smile as well.
“Me too,” you nodded as you entered the small café that’s only a few feet away from your school. Quickly sitting down onto one of the wooden chairs in the corner of the café.
After ordering, the two of you just talked about all sorts of stuff. At first you talked about typical class drama, then you started talking about your upcoming exams and even gossiped about some of your teachers, very common stuff to talk about with your friends.
Suddenly, you heard a camera clicking. At first, you ignored it and just continued listening to Lydia explain something about the upcoming English exam to you, but when you heard the same camera click for a second time, you swiftly turned around and scanned the shop, making Lydia stop mid-sentence.
Lydia tapped your arm, “Y/n? You okay? What’s wrong?”
You shook your head, still nervously looking around the small café with wide eyes, “I-I just thought t-that I heard something… just forget it,” you mumbled more to yourself than to your worried friend.
“Heard something? What do you mean, y/n? You’re scaring me…” she trailed off, looking deeply into your eyes.
“I just thought t-that I heard a-a camera clicking… like,” you gulped, hoping that you didn’t sound to crazy, “like somebody t-taking a picture of me.”
Lydia nodded before she gulped as well and quietly stood up,
“We’re leaving, c'mon,” she took you by your hand, “I honestly can’t see anything or anyone but if you don’t feel safe or comfortable then we’ll leave,” she leaded you towards the exit while you still continued scanning the café, eyes suddenly catching very briefly another pair of eyes that way intensely looking at you.
You’ve seen that pair of eyes before, but you couldn’t put your finger on it…
Shortly after making eye contact with that familiar looking man, your friend drags you out of the café without another word.
You felt paranoid as you entered your apartment, Lydia closing the door behind you with a thud as she cautiously watched your pacing figure.
“What happened back there with you, y/n? You seemed so nervous and scared… did something in the past happen that you didn’t tell me?” Lydia asked you while you removed your shoes and jacket, quietly turning around.
You sighed, “I might be crazy Lydia, but… I feel like somebody has been watching me for a while now,” you whispered the last part, still nervously scanning the apartment.
Lydia gasped, walking over to you, “Why didn’t you tell me! We could have called the police by now! We'll do it now!” She said in a loud tone before she grabbed her phone but you stopped her.
“No!” You said in a louder tone, “Don’t do that, the person might be watching us now and I for sure don’t want you involved in all of this mess, okay?”
Lydia sighed before she slowly nodded, “o-okay, but please! If you notice anything shady looking again, you immediately call me, alright!” She pointed her finger at you before she made her way towards the door, slowly leaving you alone.
You gave her a tight lipped smile, “I will, I promise,” you closed the door behind her, taking a deep breath before you went upstairs.
You just really needed to lay down right now and let that all sink in, you needed to calm down for a bit.
Knock. Knock.
With a groan, you left your comfortable bed, lazily walking towards the front door again,
“Lydia!” You rolled your eyes with a tired sigh, “it’s fine! I can look out for myself, I swear-!”
But it wasn’t your friend Lydia who stood infront of your front door as you opened the it, it was formula one driver Charles Leclerc, the one you saw numerous times when you made your internship at Ferrari not to long ago.
“Oh, uhm, hey!” You smiled at him kindly, making Charles lick his lips before you spoke up again,
“What are you doing here if I may ask, mr. Leclerc?” You stopped to the side, silently welcoming him into your apartment. You couldn’t deny that he was quite good looking and charming, probably no women could deny that.
You noticed how Charles gulped and briefly smirked in a sinister way as you said mr. Leclerc instead of just Charles, but quickly replacing the smirk with a charming grin again, “I was just coincidentally in the neighbourhood for some work related stuff and thought that I personally ask you if you enjoyed it at Ferrari and if you would actually consider working there after you’re done with school!”
He told you in a happy tone, forcing you to raise your brows in utter suprise since you really didn’t expect him to ask you such question. After a few seconds, you confusingly nodded,
“Uhm, yeah! I really enjoyed it and I actually do consider working there, yep! Really loved it, was a lot of fun but also super educational which I thought was just great!” You explained to him after he entered your house, closing the door behind him,
“You want something to drink? Tea? Coffee?” You asked him, slowly walking towards the kitchen while he scanned your house… unbeknownst to you for the hundredth time already.
Charles shook his head, “just a glass of water, please,” he flashed you a bright smile before he watched you disappear into the kitchen.
While you were grabbing a glass of water for the young Ferrari driver in your living room, Charles quickly pulled his phone out of his pants and opened his notes app, proudly crossing one of the tasks on his little 'To-do List' off.
Get her to invite you into her house and make her feel comfortable around your presence.
Charles could only smile and cheekily bite his lip before he was forced to quietly throw his phone onto the small table infront of him since he already heard you coming and just a few seconds later you handed him the small glass with that infamous smile of yours.
Oh how he wanted wipe that smile off of your beautiful face and replace it with a pathetic pout while you’re desperately begging for his cock.
After taking a few sips of the cold water, Charles spoke up,
“Where’s your bathroom if I may ask?” He turned towards your smaller frame, looking down at you with soft eyes.
“Just right around the corner over there!“ you pointed towards the small hallway. Charles quietly thanked you before he left you alone in your living room.
You kindly smiled again before you noticed his slightly cracked phone laying on your small table. You know that you usually shouldn’t do that, especially not with the phone of a celebrity but your curiosity got the best out of you, so you carefully picked his phone up and ran your fingers over the cracks on the back of it, wondering why he is just not buying himself a new phone… isn’t that man like a millionaire?
But as you turned the phone around, you were suprised to see that Charles didn’t lock it, almost as if he was in a hurry and just quickly tossed in onto your living room table.
But what was even more surprising to you was the fact that his phone brightly showed a note in his notes app, a very distrusting note.
Get her to invite you into her house and make her feel comfortable around your presence.
Which is crossed out.
You furrowed your brows before you swiped further down and gulped as you read the next couple of words on his disturbing 'To-do' list,
Carefully gain her trust and use your charm on her.
Which is also crossed out.
With wide eyes, you nervously bit your lip before you glanced towards the hallway, checking if he’s not hiding behind the wall or something.
Luckily, he didn’t caught you…yet.
After taking a deep breath, you scrolled again,
Ask her if you can use your bathroom.
Crossed off as well.
Your bottom lip was already trembling in pure terror as you dared to scroll further, swallowing tears down as your eyes scanned the next terrifying words,
Force her into unconsciousness after coming back from the bathroom by standing behind her trembling figure while she’s going through your notes ;).
Before you were even able to gasp, a big wet cloth covered your mouth from behind, giving you as good as no time to fight before you heard his voice in your ear from behind,
“Shh, go to sleep, little angel… I’ll wake you up again when I need you, okay?” Gently kissing your temple before you feel not only into unconsciousness, but also into Charles arms.
He chuckled, “knew you’d be a curious little bunny, going through the phone of other people… that’s not something a typical good and smart girl like you should be doing, hmm? Guess I need to teach you better then.”
Slowly, you felt yourself waking up, rising from the bed that you were laying on with a groan as you tried to come to your senses again.
Your shaking hands went up to your head, checking if you’re bleeding or hurt in any kind of way.
Nothing.
You sighed in relief, but that relief was quickly replaced by pure shook and fear as you realised what the room that Charles put you in looked like, eyes widening and suddenly getting automatically filled with tears.
Pictures. Pictures of you. Pictures of you in any possible size, captured from every possible angle.
You gasped, hand immediately covering your mouth as you started helplessly crying, shaking your head as you turned your head and scanned the other pictures on the other side of the room with wide eyes, legs quickly leaving the bed that you guessed was his.
This… was his bedroom.
The walls in his bedroom were filled to the absolute brim with pictures of you. Pictures where you were walking to school, coming home from school, pictures from the small window that perfectly showed your living room, pictures that showed you taking a shower or that showed you sleeping in your bedroom.
You walked through his bedroom, eyes scarily scanning every single picture with a poor, blurry vision as your hand couldn’t stop shaking.
Pictures from inside the house. Pictures visibly taken from your closet, from a disgusting angle that perfectly showed your ass and panties. Pictures taken of you as you changed in your bedroom, showing you completed naked or pictures that showed you masturbating.
He caught every single moment, every single activity of yours, it was perfectly visible on the walls of his bedroom.
You never felt so sick before, you swiftly covered your mouth with your hand but it was already too late, quickly, you went to a corner of his bedroom and loudly threw up, emptying your stomach as your sobs only got more violent.
Suddenly, you felt a hand on your shoulder and another hand holding your hair back, helping you as you continued throwing up in disgust.
You shook your head and groaned, tears staining your red cheeks, “L-Let go of me! Now!” You tried to run away from him but Charles quietly put one of his arms around your waist and pressed you against him, other hand still holding your hair in a makeshift ponytail so that they wouldn’t be hanging in your face.
“Shhh,” he mumbled in your ear from behind, almost as if he was trying to sound comforting as the thumb of his other hand stroked your hip, “It’s okay, you can let it all out,” Charles told you quietly, “I’m here.”
You bend forward again and threw up another load as you felt him touching you and stroking your hip in a reassuring manner, making your head spin even more before you shook your head again,
“N-No!” You took a deep breath as you placed your palms on his biceps, “you’re a-” you gulped and took a deep breath, “you’re a monster! L-Let me go, p-please!” You pleaded with teary eyes and a sore throat.
Charles furrowed his brows behind you and shook his head with a giggle, “what? No! I’m helping you, can’t you see?” His voice got a bit louder, “I’ve never done anything bad to you, angel!” The Ferrari driver stated, almost sounding proud to be able to say that.
It sickened you even more.
“You’re sick!” You spat at him, gagging again as he pressed himself closer to you, your mind not being able to forget the awful pictures that are surrounding the two of you at the moment.
Your hand squeezed his biceps as you softly cried, “C-Charles, please!” You begged, “Let me o-out of here, I’m begging you. I need t-to get out of t-this room, please,” voice quiet but rough as you leaned forward and squeezed your eyes shut, trying your best to avoid looking at all of those pictures.
“You want to get out of this beautiful room, mon amour, why?” He chuckled into your ear from behind whilst he squeezed your hip with his palm, lips still running along your temple, cheek and neck. You felt it all.
He chuckled again, “I decorated it all so beautifully for you and me, do you even know how much time that took? And now you wanna leave? You’re such an ungrateful little bitch, do you know that?” The driver spat at you from behind in a harsh tone as you felt like you would choke to death on your tears any second, you never cried that much before.
You repeatedly shook your head but slowly tried to give up, letting your head hang low with a tired sigh as you tried your best to calm yourself down since you felt like you were on the verge of a panic attack.
Charles somehow took notice of that, slowly letting his grip fall around your hips but still pressing himself against you from behind, standing up straight to peck the top of your head, “you're finally coming to your senses and calming down, huh? Good girl.”
Your bottom lip trembled as you couldn’t stop to sniffle and whine, big, teary eyes scanning the pictures on the walls as if they were the scariest things you’ve ever seen.
And honestly, they were the scariest things you’ve ever laid your eyes on. No doubt.
“Yeah,” Charles whispered from behind your trembling figure as he scanned the room as well, “take a look around, my angel,” he smiled at the various pictures, “they’re so pretty, aren’t they? I’m quite proud of myself to be honest,” he admitted with an evil grin as he proudly stared at his walls.
You took deep breaths and still shook your head as you also dared yourself to look around his room, finger still unintentionally squeezing his big and muscular arms that wouldn’t let your waist go, “h-how long did a-all of that take you?” You don’t even why you asked that question, apparently you were simply curious.
Charles thought about it for a few seconds as his eyes didn’t leave 'his work'.
“Well, including the taking the pictures, printing them out, perfectly cutting them to the right size and sticking them all into a specific order onto the wall… about three months, why are you asking, sweet girl?”
You gasped before you let your head hung low again, watching how the tears started to stain his floor. Pathetically, you only whined.
Charles furrowed his brows, “what’s wrong, my angel? You don’t like it?” He asked carefully as if he would really care right now, but you only whined and cried, whined and cried and whined and cried even more, so much that you’re entire body already started to feel the pain that was consuming your mind.
You felt like you could scream. like you could cry nonstop, until you have not a single drop of a tear left anymore, like you could breakdown and pass out and wish that you’ll never wake up again. you felt so inhuman… so disconnected from yourself as you sobbed.
And then it happened, you quickly turned your body to the right side and broke down, knees and palms hitting the floor with a tiny thud as you felt like you’re breaking into a million pieces, all created because of him.
Charles immediately went down with you, arms now removing themselves from your waist before he positioned his body in front of you and picked you up, cradling you reassuringly in his embrace before he set you down onto his lap, leaning against the wall with your small, shaking figure.
“Shh,” he whispered as his back touched multiple pictures of you, “I am sorry, my sweet angel, I’m sorry,” he mumbled into your ear as you only squeezed your eyes shut and let the tears stain his shirt.
Was he actually apologising? Wow, but why now?
Your hands slowly left the floor and placed themselves on his broad shoulder, trembling fingers fisting his t-shirt as he went on in a hush tone,
“I‘m sorry that you don’t seem to like the pictures, I have six envelopes each filled with one hundred-fifty-five other pictures of you, my love… I can replace them if you’d like,” he shrugged as he kissed your temple, right hand caressing your head while the other hand went up and down your back.
You were done. You were so tired, confused and disturbed. Sadly, you let your head drop into the crook of his neck, purely out of humongous weakness, shedding those immense amounts of tears really does take a toll on the human body.
Charles sighed, “believe it or not, sweet little thing, you’re the absolute safest… only in my arms, and nowhere else, you understand that, right?” Hands suddenly trembling ever more as you heard his words being whispered directly into your ear.
After you didn’t answer for a few seconds, Charles got impatient, “right?” He spat in a rather harsh tone at you, hand now pulling your head by your hair out of the crook of his neck and forcing you to look at him with your teary eyes.
You immediately nodded, sniffling after you whined at his rough grip on your hair, “r-right, yes C-Charles,” you could have puked again the second you mumbled his name, it all made you sick. His touch. His name. His voice. His words.
He made you sick. Letting your body feel sick, but also your mind.
“Good,” he leaned forwards and kissed your wet and red cheeks, gently kissing your tears away while his hand let go of your hair and softly massaged your scalp now, “That’s the good girl I like, don’t disobey me, okay? It will only force me to hurt that pretty little body of yours and I don’t want that, alright? You’re way to pure and beautiful for that, my angel,” he mumbled.
Your hands shook unstoppably on his broad shoulders, so hard that even Charles noticed.
The formula one driver briefly looked at your soft hands shaking on his shoulder before he looked back at you,
“Oh no, you’re all shaky, sweet girl,” he looked worried, “c‘mere,” Charles told you in a soft tone before he grabbed both of your hands and raised them up to his lips, gently giving each of your palm a lightweight kiss, lips only briefly grazing your skin as he kept his eyes on you.
“It’s okay, just calm down for me, you’ll feel better then, I promise,” he whispered, thumb caressing your palms before he intertwined your hands with his, lightly squeezing them.
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dilemmaontwolegs · 4 months
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Not A Verstappen: Lights Out {3}
Pairing: Charles Leclerc x fem!driver!reader x Lando Norris Summary: You get a glimpse into the future with Charles and Lando as fathers. Warnings: 18+ only, nsfw, fluff WC: 1.5k F1 Masterlist NAV: Sibling Rivalry One || Two || Three NAV: Gridlocked One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine NAV: A New World One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight || Nine || Ten NAV: Lights Out One || Two || Three || Four
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You collapsed breathless on top of Charles and let your eyes fall shut as the heat inside the SUV soared. Steam fogged the windows and the sounds of your boyfriends panting filled the small space. 
Lando hummed as he sat back on his knees and watched his release, and Charles’, leak out from you. “Missed this pretty mess you make when we fill you up.”
“Putain, oui,” Charles agreed with a deeply satisfied chuckle. “Feels amazing.”
They were absolutely right, it did feel amazing - especially when it had been almost a week since you last had sex. It was almost a record, and not one you wanted to break anytime soon.
“We should head back,” you said despite wanting to stay exactly as you were. “We should also buy something so it actually looks like we went out.”
“Pretty sure your mum knows how much you hate shopping, and do you really want to risk being spotted?”
Lando made a fair point and you climbed off Charles so you could pull your panties back up and push your dress back down. Max’s plane would be tracked to the local airport so soon everyone would know where you were hiding. You would rather savour the peace and quiet before the paparazzi started to haunt you.
Once you got to Austin there would be no place to hide.
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Sitting in the backyard of the pub, you watched the sun set over the countryside backdrop with bittersweet happiness. Luka was squealing with joy as Charles tossed him high into the air and Lando was sprawled on the grass with Lio and Mila clambering over him. It was like a little glimpse into the future you would have all too soon, but it still didn’t feel real. 
“What are you doing, hiding in the corner?” Max took a seat beside you on the bench and scanned the groups that had broken off from the crowd. You could smell the gin in his drink and took a sip of your lemonade as you longed for your usual drink. It didn’t help Lando had ordered you Sprite No Sugar, you weren’t even allowed that anymore.
“Just thinking.”
“I tried that once, but it didn’t work out well for me,” he joked, nudging you with his shoulder when he didn’t get a response. “What are you thinking about?”
You sighed and shifted to face him. “Were you scared you were going to mess up Penelope?”
“No,” he scoffed. 
“Right, because you are good at everything,” you nodded solemnly. “Stupid question.”
“No, it’s because I’m not her father, and I’m not trying to be her father because she already has one. So it is not the same.” Max looked to where Lando and Charles had moved onto dancing with the kids. It probably wasn’t quite dancing, but they were all hugging each other and gently swaying to the music. “You three are going to be fine. You’ve got the responsible parent, the fun one and the worrier.”
“I don’t really want to know who you think is who,” you chuckled, feeling a little better. But another thought had plagued you and there was only one person you could admit it to without fear of judgement. “This is going to sound terrible, but I wish she was a boy.”
Max’s brows shot up his face. “Why?”
You toyed with the condensation running down your glass, drawing little pictures as you spoke. “What if she wants to race? It’s in her blood but this industry is tough on girls, Max. I don’t want her going through the same bullshit I had to.”
“You’re worrying about something that is at least 15 years away, zusje. A lot can change in that time. Plus, she will have you, her fathers and a scary uncle who have been there to make sure she gets treated right.”
You looked across at the young man struggling to understand the horse-riding terms Flo was talking about. “Arthur’s not that scary.”
You laughed at the indignant sound Max made. “Okay, you’re right, you’re right. I don’t need to worry about that now. I just need to get through the rest of the season watching someone else race my car.”
“Checo’s contract is up next year, maybe Red Bull will beg you to come back?”
Your laughter caught the attention of your boyfriends and they smiled at the sound before making their way over. “Yeah, that ain’t happening, they can beg all they want - I would rather be seatless.”
Max turned serious. “They saw your data, you know, when you used my sim. It was the best time anyone has pulled from the car. It was impressive as hell.”
“Well if you want personal driving lessons I am happy to assist. I’ll even give you a family discount.”
Max snickered in amusement as the seats opposite the bench were taken. “Now that you are once again unemployed.”
“Don’t let her mother hear you say that,” Lando warned, only half joking. “She’s not unemployed.”
“Yeah,” you placed a hand on your stomach. “I have the best job in the world now as a human incubator. Me and Vick can be ladies of leisure together.”
“She prefers the term influencer,” Max corrected sarcastically.
“What’s the difference?” Charles asked.
“There isn’t any. Now will you come and dance?”
You accepted Lando’s hand and followed him to the outdoor lights that had been turned on.
“Nutty!” Mila called as she ambled towards you with grabby hands. 
“So close, sweetie,” you laughed as you dropped Lando’s hand to pick her up. “Aunty. Aunt-tee.”
“Nutty is kind of accurate,” Max teased as he walked past to where Kelly was talking with Vicky. He did pause for a second as he watched you spin around with Mila and blow a raspberry onto her neck making the toddler giggle. “Zusje, you’re gonna be fine.” 
You looked up over the top of her curls that were only a few shades lighter than Lando’s and found sincerity in your brother's eyes. “Thanks, Max.”
A pair of arms encircled you and Charles’ chin came to rest on your shoulder. “My dance partner has been stolen.”
Lando spun past with Penelope in his arms and you kissed Charles’ cheek. “Mila, look at Dodo, he thinks he’s a better dancer than us.”
She narrowed her eyes at her uncle dancing with the four year old and her brows furrowed before she squirmed to be put down. “Oops, I think someone is a little jealous,” Charles chuckled, pulling you into his arms while you watched with amusement as she made Lando pick her up too. “Should we save him?”
“Nah, he’ll need to learn how to deal with two females soon enough.” You placed your head on Charles’ shoulder and followed his lead, swaying gently to the music that probably demanded more energy.
“You seem happier,” he commented softly.
“It’s amazing what a little sex in a secluded forest can do for the soul.”
Charles laughed and kissed your forehead, his smile etched on your skin. “Chérie, what we did could hardly be called ‘little’ but even afterwards you still weren’t…I don’t know what the word is…you seem more like yourself.”
You smiled a little as he stumbled over the words. “I’m getting there.”
“I know you will.” He gave up the pretence of dancing and just held you as Lando extracted himself from the girls and they ran off to their mothers before making his way to join you. “We will make sure of it.”
Lando’s warm body pressed against your back and his arms wrapped around you to hold Charles’ hips. “So I was thinking of names…Tulip.”
“Um, no.”
“Hear me out, it’s kind if Dutch and it’s a flower which is pretty cool-”
“Non, mon cher, keep thinking.”
“Daisy?”
You shook your head and he groaned as he was shut down again. “Daphne?”
It was your turn to groan. “No more Bridgerton for you.”
“Clover?”
You paused and his grin widened. “I’m not opposed to that one, but keep brainstorming.”
“How about Juniper?”
“Daddy, where does my name come from?” you asked in a higher pitched voice as you wrinkled your nose.”Well mummy drank lots and lots of Gin one night and that is how you were made.”
“Oh, right,” Lando laughed awkwardly. “I forgot it’s in Gin.”
“It is a good thing we have time,” Charles hummed, holding you both tighter. “There’s no rush finding the perfect name.”
Lando conceded for the moment and fell silent, and you felt content to stay cocooned until your stomach rumbled louder than the music. Your warmth disappeared as they stepped away laughing. “Come on, love. Dinner should be ready.”
Click here for the next part.
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norrisleclercf1 · 7 months
Text
Letter 2
Pairing: Lando Norris x Reader x Charles Leclerc
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Angst, just plain Angst
Words: 677
A/N: Yes yes this part is short but it's supposed to be this way as it mainly just focused on Nico's letter
Our Boy Series Masterlist / Previous: Broken Hearts and Duct Tape / Next: Memories of Old and New
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"Ducky, don't be alarmed at the empty apartment. I'm coming back," 
I swear I am. I know you're looking at the apartment and thinking I've freaked out and left. I swear I haven't. 3 days ago, you told me the most incredible news anyone could ever hear from the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. 
Not once did I think about having children, but with you? I cried. You are the first person I've ever truly loved. Who cares what people will say? I'm going to protect you, Ducky, and our unborn baby. Whenever I think about us having a baby, I cry all over again. I'm sure you're scared, I would be too, but really I can't wait. 
I keep picturing a little baby with my eyes and your gorgeous hair, their little laugh. When they say their first word, everything. I'm sure you don't care about all this, but I've returned to Germany. There's something I need there: a ring. A specific ring I want you to have. My stuff is gone because I've bought us a house. 
A pretty house boarding the line of Monaco and France. Lavender is everywhere. It's just like you told me that night. Walking the streets of that little Greek town under the stars, we talked of our future. I want to win the title, and you want nothing more than to have your dream home. Well, Ducky, I got us that dream home. 
On the back are the directions. Movers are coming tomorrow for your stuff, but forget it all. I'm here waiting, painting the nursery. I picked a soft blue, not that boyish blue, but that blue that reminds me of a cloudless sky. It's perfect, you'll love it. I even have little stincles to paint ducks on the wall. 
Ducky, I love you so much. I've retired from racing to focus on our family and build on it in the future. Fuck, I have to call your Dad and ask his permission to marry you. He doesn't like me very much, probably the age gap. I don't blame him. I'd react the same way with our little one. Oh, I forgot the house has a little nook for you. Where you can read and watch the lavender fields. 
We have our problems, Ducky, but we can work through them. We always do. So please, grab your stuff and join me here at home. We can talk more when you get here. I love you. 
God, I love you so much, Ducky. 
Nico 
"He called her Ducky," Elijah whispers, looking up to see his Dad with tears in his eyes. Elijah turns to his Pa, Charles, staring out into the garden, but the slight sniffles also let them know he was crying. "Charlie," Lando reaches out for Charles, who turns face crumbling. "He loved her. He loved her so much." Charles didn't understand why he was crying. 
Maybe it was because if Nico had reached out or Y/n read the letter, he wouldn't have had this life. Or it could be he was crying in relief because he was the one honored to raise Elijah and love you. He didn't know. "I have to make a call," Charles stands, ruffling Elijah's hair and kissing the crown. His hand slips out of Lando's, who moves to pull his little boy into his arms. 
"Is Pa okay?" Lando hums, fingers untangling those blonde locks as he watches Charles hold the phone to his ear. "No, Ducky. He's not okay. But, he will be." Lando refused to lie to his children. It's the one thing he wouldn't do. "Dad?" "Yeah?" Taking a deep breath, Elijah folds the letter back up. "We need to tell Mama what the letter said." Lando hates the anger that flares up but shuts it down quickly. 
"I know," Charles comes back into the room, flinging himself into the chair and rubbing his face hard. "They're on their way," "Who is?" Lando asks, sitting up, and Elijah leans in more. "Nico," 
--------------------------------------------
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charlesslut16 · 1 year
Text
-enemys?-
summary : charles has a panic attack and you come and help him but don't you hate eachother?
PAIRING : charles leclerc x fem!reader
WARNINGS : panik attack mentioned, badly translated french, curse words
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You were at the Bahrain grand prix, watching the race with your friends. Lily, Carmen and you were standing in the Mercedes garage watching the race, as charles car stopped. 
You three looked at each other worried. Charles 2023 season didn't start good. It continues as it did in the end of the 2022 season. 
You three talked a bit, charles was driven off the grid and you tree continued watching the race, supporting Alex and george. All of a sudden, you saw Isa, Carlos girlfriend, approaching you.
"Y/n?", she asked, her face pale and eyes wide. A worried look on her face as she came near you. You immediately knew something was wrong. 
"He needs you, y/n. Charles needs you," Isa said, as she told you breathlessly. You looked back at her, not understanding who or what she meant.
"What? " You wanted to know, as you almost yelled at her, because it was loud around you, instantly walked up to her. "Where is he?" you asked her as it clicked in you hear, and you knew she was talking about charles.
"In his driver's room," Isa answered, as she grabbed your hand, pulling you with her to the Ferrari garage and to charles driver's room, until you both stood in front of the room.
"I-i think he's having a panic attack, y/n."
"He won't talk to anyone. You're our last hope.," she said, hoping you would help.
"He literally hates my guts", you argued, but Isa shook her head. You once accidentally spilled coffee on charles race suit, as you passed him and didn't see him, since that day, Charles hates you. So you think.
"He doesn't," she answers, as she shoves you to the door, so you stand directly in front of his driver's room. "No go!" she said, going back to watch the rest of the race. Before she does, she screams, "good luck!"
"Charles..." you say, opening the door and as you looked around the room, which was completely dark. You click the light on as you heard whimpers. It didn't take long for you to notice him, huddling on the floor. 
His breathing was labored and as time unfolded you heard him sob. Your heart breaking at the view and the sounds in front of you.
"Charles," you say under your breath, approaching him and kneeling down in front of him.
He looked up at you, his eyes swollen and red, tears coating his cheeks. His whole body was shaking, he looked so damn helpless. You have never seen him like this.
"Y/n", he mutters, his eyes displaying panic and disappointment. "I-i can't do this anymore. This is so exhausting." he could barely talk.
"It's going to be okay, charles. The next race will better." you say to him and brush his sweaty hair out of his face, trying to comfort him.
"Breath. Take a deep breath. Calm down. Everything will be alright."
He shook his head, to signal you that he couldn't do it anymore. His breathing started getting faster again." Je peux pas.  C’est trop. Si j’échoue, je-je... La pression est ... " He chokes out in between sobs. His voice breaking in to process. I can't do it.  It's too much. If I fail, I-i'm... The pressure is …
"Breath.," you repeat, your hand grabbing his shaky once. "Pour moi" you say with your broken French, to calm him down. For me
Much to your surprise. charles squeezed his eyes shut and toke one deep breath. Then another one. Until his breath got calmer, and he looked at you, the both of you locking eyes.
" Je ferais n’importe quoi pour toi. Rien.," charles said quietly, wiping his tears away and giving you a soft smile.  I would do fucking anything for you. Anything.
You let out a small laugh and shook your head in disbelief. "You'e confused". You argued and helped him up. "Come on, they are all worried outside"
"You don't believe me?" charles wanted to know. "No, not really," you answered him and shrugged, trying to drag him out of his driver's room and into the garage to the others.
But he didn't move one bit. "Y/n", he mumbles, tears welling up in his eyes again. His hands shaking again, and his breathing started getting faster.
"I- I told Isa to come and g-get you."
"Wanna k-know why I did that?" He asked you, now standing unusually close to you. Hi breathing, still very fast but getting calmer by the second.
"B-but you hate me.," you told him, still not quite believing what he's saying.
"Come on, amour," he answered, his eyes piercing yours. Your breathing hitched because of the nickname. He never called you that.
"You know I could never fucking hate you"
"And trust me, I have tried.," he adds, before he took your hand is his and walked out of the driver's room to the garage, where, Carlos, Isa, his family, pierre and Fred were waiting.
He let go of you, letting you stand there looking at him confused nor knowing where your thoughts were. Everyone in the garage looked at him, asking if everything was alright and if he was okay. 
He gave a quick nod, hugging his family and thanking Isa for getting you to him. He looked behind him, at you, giving you a smile and a wink, then looking back at his friends and family. 
While you left the garage to gather your thoughts. Walking through the paddock to the exit, wondering what was now between you and charles.
here are the other parts : (2) , (3) /masterlist
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cutielando · 14 days
Note
Hello, I saw that your requests are open so could you please write something about Charles taking care of his girlfriend after getting a knee surgery, I got surgery not too long ago (nothing serious) from playing football and I just feel like he would be such a caring boyfriend.
a/n: thank you so much for sending this in!❤️
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Summary: Charles taking care of Y/N after a knee surgery. (grant the request🌸)
Words: 1.2k+
Other works: my masterlist
♡♡♡♡♡
Ever since you could remember, you have always been the adventurous type.
You would rather go exploring than stay in, the thrill of a potential adventure overpowering the need for a relaxing day in with the one you loved.
Which fitted perfectly with Charles’ need for adventuring and going on as many trips around the world as he could.
But there was a slight problem with that. With the adventurous thrill also came the danger.
And you were very prone to injuring yourself. Just like you had done on the last skiing trip you had gone on with Charles, right before the F1 season started up.
Adventuring a little too much on a not so safe skiing slope resulted in your falling and injuring your knee. An injured knee which required surgery.
You had been devastated when you found out you would need surgery. Not only would the recovery be horrendous and strenuous on your body, but it also meant that Charles would go out of his way to take care of you, neglecting his training in order to make sure you were okay.
That was the biggest problem in your eyes. Not the injury itself, not the surgery that you would need to have, but the fact that Charles would move the mountains in order to take care of you.
Which is exactly what happened. 
You had your surgery two weeks after your knee was injured, a mere couple of weeks before the season picked up again. Charles was proving to be a great caretaker, dotting on you and being the sweetest person ever.
He would bring you food, medicine and anything else you would need in bed, he would help you to the bathroom by supporting you. He got in touch with the best physiotherapist that he knew and immediately started your road to recovery.
He would take you to every single therapy session, every doctor’s appointment that followed your surgery to track your progress and your recovery.
He helped you exercise at home, urging you to push yourself in order to get back on your feet as soon as possible.
He would hold you every time you would break down because it would all get too much. The pain, the recovery, the pressure of getting better, the stress on your body. He would hold you through it all, whispering sweet nothings in your ear that would instantly calm you down.
You didn’t like feeling this helpless, like you couldn’t do anything on your own and practically lived at Charles’ pity.
You hated it.
And Charles had begun suspecting as much. He had noticed how closed off you had become over time, but he didn’t want to say anything that might make you feel even worse than you already did.
“Mon amour, what’s wrong?” he asked one evening after you had got back from a particularly strenuous physical therapy session.
You smiled at him, shaking your head as you rested on the edge of the bed.
“Nothing, I’m okay. Just a little tired” you lied smoothly, but it was not enough to convince him.
“Please don’t lie to me. Something’s been bothering you ever since your surgery, don’t think I haven’t noticed” he said, sitting down beside you.
You sighed, biting your lip. You could feel the tears welling up in your eyes, everything that you had been bottling up threatening to boil over.
“I hate how dependent I have become on you” your voice was small, too worried that you could hurt his feelings.
Charles frowned, the wheels in his head turning to understand what you were really trying to say.
“Am I bothering you? Is that it?” he asked, his face sad and broken like a puppy dog’s.
You immediately shook your head, wanting to get up from the bed and comfort him but it would take you way too much time.
“No, don’t ever think that. It’s me that’s bothering you” you said, your frustrations slowly making their way towards the surface.
If Charles had been confused up to that point, he was even more confused now. How could you ever bother him?
“What do you mean? You’re not bothering me, what are you talking about?” he made his way towards you and took a seat next to you on the bed.
You sighed, tears slowly welling up in your eyes as you rested your head in your hands.
“It’s just this stupid surgery. I can’t even get up to go to the bathroom without needing your help. It’s pathetic, I can’t do anything on my own anymore” you cried silently, hiding your face in your hands.
Charles’ shoulders suddenly slumped into realization, his heart heavy. He didn’t say anything, instead he brought you into his arms and pushed your head into the crook of his neck, wary of twisting you too much because of your knee.
You let out strained and tired sobs, clinging onto Charles like your life depended on it. You had missed him, even though he’s been with you the entire time up until then. You had missed his touch, missed him holding you just because you both needed it. Both of you have been so preoccupied with your recovery, with taking your meds, going to physical therapy with Andrea and managing the pain that you forgot to be just Y/N and Charles, a couple.
You stayed in his arms for a while, just needing to let it all out. He understood that, holding you against him without saying anything, just planting kisses on your forehead from time to time.
Once you calmed down, you slowly pulled away from Charles, who wiped away your tears and gave you a small smile.
“Mon amour, I’m only going to say this once. You will never, ever in this life be a bother to me. I don’t care if I have to take care of you every single day for the rest of our lives, I would drop everything in a heartbeat to be with you. Don’t ever doubt how much I love you and the lengths I would go to just to see you happy and taken care of” Charles’ speech did nothing to stop your sobs, in fact they got even worse.
Charles knew it was the pain and frustration talking from you, and that you didn’t actually mean anything you had said to him. However, he didn’t mind one bit reassuring you and telling you anything that you might need in order to feel better.
“I’m sorry” you mumbled out once you started to calm down a little. 
“You have nothing to be sorry for. I get it, I would probably be the same if I were in your place. Just don’t ever doubt how much I love you and how much I enjoy feeling needed when you need me to take care of you” he joked a little at the end, bringing a smile to your face.
“I love you so much” you said, wrapping your arms around his neck and bringing his lips down to yours.
Between salty kisses and whispered nothings, you realized that even through the rough patches, Charles would always be there to get you through everything.
Your caretaker for life.
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angelrari · 2 months
Text
gossip girl · pt. xvi
based on the tv series gossip girl
max verstappen / charles leclerc x socialité!reader
fc: elsa hosk (y/n) · taylor hill (léa) · barbara palvin (jolie)
a/n: hi everyone!! thank you so much for the comments on the last part, i had so much fun reading them!! this is slowly coming to an end and i can't believe it. but here's a new dose of drama for you, this one is a roller-coaster of emotions!! hope you like it🤍
ps. what are your thoughts on the new f1 season? i was so excited about it, but it feels like it's gonna be pretty easy for max to win the title once again!
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gossip girl here, your one and only source into the scandalous lives of monaco's elite.
yourusername
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liked by joliedebelle, charles_leclerc and 98.753 others
yourusername sweet home🤍
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charles_leclerc valentin made it to the apartment!
yourusername i'd never leave him behind he's my kid🧸💔
joliedebelle that damn 6 year-old teddy bear has traveled more than i have
yourusername as he deserves!!
username 6 years old... charles knows its name... and it's called valentin, the french way of saying valentine... the math is mathing guys
username my divorced parents 💔
username @/maxverstappen1 stay strong bestie
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a hint of bleach could still be smelled on the air. you had been cleaning all day, as if wiping every surface of the apartment would remove the traces of the infidelity you had committed. the pictures of last night kept replaying on your mind like a broken record and you could feel the guilt building up every single time max crossed your mind.
last night you had stopped charles before things got out of hand, grabbing his hands when his fingers were unbuttoning your blouse. as much as you wanted him, max did not deserve this. and whilst the memories of the kisses you shared could not be erased, you were glad you did not let it go any further.
charles could not stop thinking about you. from the second he had left your apartment, he was sure that you were going to overthinking about every single thing that happened, blaming yourself over a thing you could not control. he was worried. he did not care about if max was going to be mad at him, but he cared about you, knowing how the guiltiness was going to haunt every single corner of your mind.
"how do you feel?". you heard charles' tender voice through your phone.
"like shit". you answered as you sat on the beige sofa. "i feel guilty as hell, charles".
"i'm sorry".
"i'm sorry too". you said. "things shouldn't have happened like that. max doesn't deserve this and neither do you. fuck, charles, i am dating max, you said you're gonna give léa a second chance. this is messed up".
"i know. i wish things were different". you heard him as he let out a sigh. "when is he coming back to monaco?".
"this afternoon". you replied. "and i don't know what to do. i left abu dhabi earlier because i wanted to figure out what i wanted and now i am more confused than i was before... i cheated on him, charles. i feel like i broke all of my moral rules".
"i'm sorry". he repeated. "are you going to tell him?".
"i should". you answered. "he's gonna hate me for it, isn't he?".
"y/n...".
"charles, i don't know how to do this without hurting you or max".
"don't worry about me". you heard him say. "i knew what i was getting into".
"still, you know that i care about you and that's not going to change".
"y/n". charles started. "i don't know how to be objective in this situation, but i do know i want you to do what's best for you. when i say don't worry about me i mean it. if you want to keep trying with max, i'll accept it without saying a word. if you need me by your side, i'll drop everything and come over... i just want you to know you can count on me, you can call me if you're sad, call me if you're mad, call me to complain about max, even call me to tell me everything i've done wrong if it makes you feel better. and i don't care if it's selfish what i am about to say, but i don't give two fucks about max. i care about you and i want you to be happy, even if that means that i have to watch you be with somebody else. i'll take it as long you're the happiest you've ever been".
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maxverstappen1
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maxverstappen1 and that's a wrap!🏆after celebrating this extraordinary season with our incredible team, it's time to head back home 🙌
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username legend!!
username and no sign of y/n...
username i don't want to jinx it but what if he finally realized she doesn't care about him
username it's just been a few days since we saw them together...
username maybe she isn't here because she has a life, you should try it too!!
gossipgirl welcome back to monaco!
username now... what do you know?
username spill the tea!!!
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max had arrived earlier than you expected. you had just applied you perfume the moment he rang the bell, leaving a rose scent throughout your whole apartment. the deep gut-wrenching sensation you had been feeling for the past twenty-four hours intensified now you knew it was time to face the consequences of an infidelity. with trembling hands and after taking a deep breath, you opened the door. max gave you a soft smile the moment he saw your face, to which to tried to reply with another half smile.
"hey". he was the first one to speak. "i brought some red wine".
"come in".
max was nervous, you could sense it. his face expressions were not as soft as you remembered them. after you grabbed the bottle of wine, he removed his jacket, asking you where should he hang it. you showed him around your apartment since it was the first time he was here, explaining briefly how the house move was going.
"what do you want to eat? you can eat everything you like now, right?". you asked him and he nodded. "i was thinking of... maybe carbonara? i nail it every single time".
"actually". he said. "i think we should talk about what happened. i don't want to delay this anymore".
"okay". you agreed.
max was leaned against the kitchen, placing his hands on it before letting out a sigh. you stood in front of him, starring into his blue eyes, that now looked a bit lost. you tried to swallow the lump in your throat as you tried to find the perfect words to say, but max was faster to speak.
"i am sorry". max started. "i never should've reacted the way i did and i said things to intentionally hurt you. i should've handled it differently".
"max, it's okay". you managed to say. "the moment it happened i knew we were on the edge, we had way too much to drink and we could not think properly. but the main issue here it's not this argument and we both know it".
"right-".
"i think you know me better than i do". you interrupted him and he tilted his head.
"what do you mean?".
"you were right about how i feel about charles". you answered with a trembling voice. "i have spent these past months trying to ignore it, pretending i am over a relationship that never really died and the truth is i can't do this anymore. i love you, i really do, and i'm not going to hide it just because i have never heard those three words from you, but i don't think i should be in a relationship when i still feel things for charles. i think you deserve to know the truth. you have been the best partner i could've asked for and i know you don't deserve this and i never meant for this to happen-".
"did you cheat on me?". he interrupted you, guessing where the conversation was going.
"we kissed yesterday".
"great". he said as he ran his fingers through his hair. "fucking great".
"i am sorry, max".
"of course you are". he spat as he moved to stand closer to you. "it took you one argument to run back to his arms? you're telling me that you left abu dhabi because we had one stupid fight over him and you were mad because i told you i was jealous and the moment you land in monaco you fucking cheat on me with him? are you serious?".
"i am sorry". you repeated as you felt your eyes watering. he threw his hands in the air as he shook his head.
"this is ridiculous. i have been feeling like shit for three days, overanalyzing every single word i said wondering how to fix things while you were making out with your ex?".
"it isn't this simple, max".
"but it is, y/n!". he interrupted you. "these past months you have been fooling me, making me think there was something special going on between us, while you were thinking of charles the whole time".
"that's not true, max".
"and what's the truth then, y/n?!". he shouted and you felt the first teardrops fall from your eyes. "i have had enough of this shit, i'm glad it's over".
max walked away and you stood in the kitchen, frozen in place, watching him as he loudly slammed the front door of your apartment. you let your body fall to the floor as you let out a sob. as cruel as his words were, there was veracity in them. it was over and it had been your fault. the sadness filled your chest with a deep, heavy feeling that left your lungs with barely no air. you kept thinking about how max would have been the perfect partner, but you had to mess it up.
the guiltiness had kept you awake all night and, even though you were exhausted, your mind could not find peace. for a whole day, you ignored every single message and hanged up every single call. you stayed in bed, letting your thoughts consume you, wondering how different things would have been if you had pushed charles away.
the ringtone of your phone once again filled your silent bedroom. your sister's name popped up one, two and three times in a row on the screen. you decided to pick up the fourth time, just to reassure your sister that everything was fine.
"jolie, i am okay". you said. "please stop-".
"you need to see what gossip girl just posted".
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lovrsm · 6 months
Text
ɢᴏʀɢᴇᴏᴜꜱ
sum: in which your brother invites you to a party, and oh god, you're so glad you accepted.
word count: 2.4k
pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader
warnings: drinking, curse words & insinuation of cheating.
Spotify - Apple Music
ᴍᴀɪɴ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ
ᴘᴀʀᴛ ɪ - ᴘᴀʀᴛ ɪɪ - ᴍᴇᴅɪᴀ ᴀᴜ
"you should take it as a compliment that I got drunk and made fun of the way you talk"
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Monaco was such a lovely place, when my brother had told me about it I thought he was exaggerating. I mean, it wouldn't be that weird if he had, he's always excited about everything, he's the kind of guy who makes you see as if the world is made of bright rainbow colors, and I believe him.
I arrived from the airport about 2 hours ago, I was on my way to the hotel where Lando was staying, he told me he got another room for me. How could I say no?
He called me yesterday at about 3pm
"No, I'm telling you, IT WILL BE THE PARTY OF THE YEAR!" he screamed over the phone, making me laugh.
"Lando, I just came from signing with my sponsors, they expect me to write more songs in a 4 months period, you know how complicated that's going to be?" I exhaled, taking off my heels, tossing them across the room as I lay down on the couch. I was exhausted.
"C'mon, you'll have plenty of things to write songs about, look, I can already hear it!" he started to hum a catchy tone, making the corners of my mouth go up. "Lando... Jake won't be able to be there, god, I don't even know if he'll want me to be there, you know?"
I could already see him in the doorway telling me where am I.
Sure, he was on canada filming, but what if he finds out?
"I'm not even letting you say no, I'm already booking tickets, get all you need, you can even shop here if you want, I just want my sister with me tomorrow night with me"
"You better go get me at the airport Lando Norris."
"I wont let you down peanut" He chuckled and hung up on me.
Well he kinda let me down, he couldn't come get me due to some last minute meeting he had. I don't really mind, I know having a busy life is exhausting.
I thanked the taxi driver giving his a generous tip, my bodyguard helped me get out my suitcases, I had a hoodie and black sunglasses, he had a casual outfit so we wouldn't stand out.
For being a top artist in the whole world, I did not like having that much security. But it was an obligation, not an option, I had to stick to what my manager and team asks me to do.
_
After a busy day of shopping and walking around the streets, I could barely feel my feet. I had gotten a beautiful short red dress. Perfect fit for the occasion. It was just 7p.m. and Lando had texted me he was on his way to my dorm.
The door opened to reveal my very festive brother in the other side "You're here!" "I'm here!" I screamed back jumping into his arms.
We catched up, he was telling me about how he checked the track, for the next season, since we were in December. Although I never really understood racing, when we were kids our parents would take us out to the karts, and I'd always crash while he was beating all of us who tried to play.
He focused on sports and I focused on music, since I was 12 years old I learned to play the guitar. My mom used to tell me that I was a genius at writing songs, I guess many people think the same.
Time passed by too fast, with him I felt like an hour were just 5 minutes.
After hating each other all our childhood, we became closer than ever after my career and his took off. I think it was because we were twins, we hated it when people said we acted the same, because physically we are not alike at all. I am so much prettier, obviously.
it was already 8 o'clock "I'm leaving, I should get ready, do you wanna come with me?"
"I'd stopped talking to you if you let me get there alone, I know none of these guys Lando."
"I'm sure you'll know somebody miss famous." He bumped my shoulder and left my room, entering to his which was next door.
I took my time getting ready. God, I love being a woman. I took a bath, fixed my hair, put on my make-up and finally there was the dress, hanging on the bathroom door. I think it is one of the most beautiful dresses I have ever seen in my life.
How did I manage to put on the mini dress correctly by myself? I don't even know, but I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror. God if only someone could look at me.
Oh wait! There is someone, I grabbed my phone to click his name, my phone started to ring. I waited patiently, but he did not answer. So I called him once more, this time he did answer.
I heard loud music and singing in the back. "What do you need?" he asked, I could hear the irritation in his voice. "I wanted to hear from you, we haven't talked-"
"We talked last Monday, wasn't that enough? I'm busy." He interrupted me.
"Where are you?" I asked intrigued this time.
"Uhm... I'm in the bar with some friends"
"Oh and that's just more important than your girlfriend?" I raised my voice at him, I was now sitting the edge on the bed.
"Look, I don't want to fight, just call me later." He said, basically hanging the phone. "Jake..." I said before he could do so.
"What?" He sounded desperate. "Take care." I said.
"Ok" He hung. I felt disgusted, why? not idea, I just felt dirty, as if I was forcing him to talk to me. I took some deep breathes so I could calm my nerves down.
I don't even want to go out anymore.
I tried hard not to cry, I wasn't going to ruin my makeup over some small argument, I'm sure tomorrow we'll be alright, we always end up alright.
It felt as an eternity till I heard a knock on my door, I quickly grabbed my bag, looked in the mirror once more to fix my dark wavy hair, and rushed to the door. I opened it, in the side was Lando, his back on the wall while he was looking at his phone.
He turned it off and looked at me, I smiled "Ready to go Peanut?"
"Lets go"
_
We finally got to the club, electronic music was blasting off, people were already drunk, and boy they didn't even tried to hide it.
We had to basically run to the VIP area, I didn't said anything to my bodyguard about this, besides, he can use a break.
Lando was immediately greeted by everyone who was in the room. "LANDO!" A man screamed to him "Ayee, we're here!" He said hugging the man, and patting him in the back. "you're so late, you were the only ones missing!"
"we're here Pierre, I'd like to present to you all my sister!" He hugged me by the side and I waved with a smile on my face. It seemed that most of them recognized me, because some of them just stood there in shock "Hey everyone, ready to get wasted?" I laughed, that made them less tense and cheered, lifting their cups.
Lando gave a me a sweet kiss in my head, "see, you'll be fine, have some fun peanut!" I let go and we both went our own way.
I started to talk to a girl, her name is Kika, I learnt she was the girlfriend of a guy named Pierre Gasly. I've heard about him but no one ever told me how fun his girlfriend was!
"Girl, you should try this margarita, the most wholesome thing you'll have in your life!"
She was not kidding with that. In a few minutes, I had asked for... about 5 of them, or maybe just 13.
I had talked to everyone in the room by 10 pm, they were all so fun, and the energy was of another planet.
"Yeah, and then Max would make that grumpy face. I swear he looks like and old man!"
"very mature Lando, so mature." I bursted out laughing. "LECLERC HAS ARRIVED!" I heard someone scream in the entrance, and in seconds half of the group was there greeting the guy.
I decided I was going to take something else than a margarita. I walked up to the bartender, who definitely did not understood me. I don't know if I was speaking too softly or if I was just way too drunk to talk, but I decided to leave, I turned around and bumped into someone.
I was about to loose my balance till his arms were wrapped around my waist, I was able to stand straight. "are you alright?" he asked.
I looked into his eyes, green eyes "what?"was all I could manage. "Are you alright?" He asked again, I now noticed a thick accent, I bursted out laughing for that.
He looked so confused, he let go and chuckled with me. For a second it was as if the whole club was quiet. I looked again at him, and I immediately looked down at the floor. He grabbed my hand, the lights went out for a second and my world spun. My legs were about to give up.
His touch was... it was, god I can't even say it.
"I'm Charles, what's your name?"
I bit my lip, what went out of my mouth was definitely not what I wanted to say. "Do you always talk like that?" I asked a bit to seriously, I chuckled so that I wasn't that rude.
"Yeah, my first language isn't english."
"Huh." I said, I felt as if he had a goddamn magnetic field and it was pulling me towards him, I couldn't stand it.
I ran off to the other side of the room, leaving him standing alone next to the bar.
_
All night.
All night I couldn't stop thinking about him, his hand touching my hand in the darkened room...
and I made fun of the way he talked.
I'm never drinking again.
Yet there I was, in the bar once more, asking for whiskey. Mature, so mature.
I kept bouncing back and forth between the people there, once I saw Charles walking to my way, I would ran to the other side of the room.
I have a boyfriend for gods sake! I can't be thinking these unhealthy things about him.
But, I mean, can you blame me?
Look at him.
His first two buttons were unbottened which made him look so attractive. And you should see his dimples, he's so gorgeous it actually fucking hurts!
"So you're not going to talk to me?" I heard a voice behind my ear. His chest touching my back. I didn't move, but I did answer.
"Who said I wasn't going to?" I asked playfully, with a grin on my face, knowing he couldn’t see me.
He hummed in my ear, before he turned me to look him in the eye, he grabbed my neck, but he didn't kiss me. Instead, he brought his lips back to my ear.
"Then why do you keep running, huh?" His hot breath sent a shiver down my spine. I was dumbfolded by his actions, he took a step back to look at me.
I looked into his eyes, I was absolutely taking him in. I looked at his dimples because of the grin he had in his face. His eyebrows, his slightly sweaty hair, with pieces of it falling into his face.
I couldn't help myself, I noticed how he looked into my eyes, and then to my mouth.
What if..?
I asked to myself, I closed my eyes and got closer to him, waiting for a kiss. But he grabbed me by my hips pulling me back.
"You're far too drunk, ma chou" I heard and opened my eyes, he gave me a sympathetic smile. I felt dumb for a second, but after seeing his face... I think I might be falling.
"Why don't we leave, would you like that?" I hugged him, my head in his neck. I nodded as fast as I could. He grabbed me and in a second, we were in his car.
For sure the alcohol got to my head that night.
_
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russellsppttemplates · 2 months
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Would you be able to write a blurb with Charles or lando with reader going through it with postpartum? Feeling down and sore maybe recovering after a c section or like issues w breastfeeding. You always write them so well and I need more to tame my baby fever
Note: this can also be considered a sneak peek of a big piece request I have coming up 🤍 also, thank you for taking the time to leave the compliment, it truly makes my day ✨️
Cw: breastfeeding, c-section, post partum, scarring, low mood, self-doubt
"Love, can you fill this bottle again, please?", you asked Lando so you could drink water while you fed Fraser, "it's supposed to help with healing and milk production and health stuff", you gestured.
Chuckling at your words, Lando went to the kitchen to fill it and brought it back, straw ready for you to drink from.
"He's getting bigger, don't you think?", Lando said, sitting next to you on the sofa and kissing your naked shoulder, "you're doing such a good job, baby, I love you", he whispered.
"Just doing what needs to be done", you shrugged your shoulders. It had been a whole rollercoaster with Fraser and you were just grateful that you were home with your family, safe and sound. The rest, you were taking day by day.
"You've been amazing, beautiful. I don't know how to thank you for how much you do for him, for our family", he said as he squeezed your arm reassuringly, "I know it can be hard to believe, but I'm telling the truth. Matilda kept telling her friends that mummy is her hero when I dropped her off", he smiled.
Having surgery, not being able to hold your baby straight away and all of the complications that arose stretched you to the furthest of your physical and emotional abilities, trying to make sure everything was right and doing well, but it was exhausting you.
After feeding and burping Fraser, he was also put in the tiny bedside cot, making you take advantage of the fact that you were up to get your nightitme routine down. After your shower, you rubbed moisturiser on the skin, grabbing the ointment to put on your scar. You wouldn't trade it for the world, your baby boy was brought earthside from there, but the pain and sensitivity were still heightened despite the medications you were taking.
"Baby, is everything alright in there?", Lando said as he opened the door slightly, not missing your rushed movements to pull your nightgown down, "yes, just need to brush my teeth", you attempted a smile.
"I want to take care of you tonight, if you'll allow me", Lando said as he kissed the nape of your neck once you sat on the bed next to him.
"Lando, I don't- we can't-", you attempted, tears falling from your eyes the minute you felt his hands on the side of your boobs.
"Baby, Y/N, darling, I'm not doing anything you don't want to, but I'd like you to relax for a little bit", he encouraged, kissing away your tears, "I hate seeing you like this and I wish I could take this pain away from you", he muttered.
Taking a deep breath, you fiddled with the bracelet on your wrist before you seeked the comfort of his hand in yours, lacing your fingers as you traced his wedding band, "I've been feeling... a lot of things", you started softly, your husband not pressuring you to speak and accepting your touch, "I feel like we're out of the woods - finally - but then it still hurts and I can't do all the things I want and it sucks", you said as tears welled up again,
"Baby, that little boy loves you so much. You're his mummy, and it is because you're so attentive to him that you can't do him wrong. Matilda, who was the biggest daddy's girl I have ever met, doesn't even care about me anymore", he joked, "she's always like, 'yes,b but mummy did this and that and so on', and you know I can't argue with her because she's right! She's in awe of you and you're the best example for her", he kissed your forehead.
"I just feel like I'm slower than everyone else else and that I'm not coming back as quick, and I'm not on top of all of it already", you groaned, "he just learned to latch properly this week - and it's not his fault because he's so clever already -, and then I look at his handsome face and there's this rush of love", you shook your head, "it's so much, all at once".
"It's normal, gorgeous. And you're taking it like a champ, I'm so proud of you for that. I love you for that and so much more", he said earnestly, "you're the best mummy - me, Fraser and Matilda all agree", he smiled, pulling you to rest against his chest and rubbing your arm.
"Tilly's really said that?", you chuckled, "I think it was more like 'mummy was able to feed Fraser and help me with my homework at the same time. Why are you struggling so much?', but, you know, maybe I'm just reading too much into it, you know?", he shrugged his shoulders, happy to see you smile genuinely and calmly.
(Thank you for submitting an ask ✨️)
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adventuringblind · 7 months
Note
Hi! Just wanted to say I love your x blind! reader pieces as a fellow visually impaired F1 fan! It makes me feel so seen. I would love to see more with any driver, but it would be cool to see more of Max or Charles with the blind sister. :)
Saftey Hazard
Oscar Piastri x Verstappen Reader
Genre: fluuuuufffff
Summary: Max volunteers a car to teach his sister how to drive. But Oscar is the one giving the lesson.
Warnings: dont try this at home? I definitely would.
Notes: reminder the blindness is a spectrum! Everybody is different!!
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One thing about being blind is the lack of driving. It's like having an aspect of freedom ripped away. Something that other kids get to do while you're stuck being driven everywhere. The feeling of burdening other people with the constant need always exhausting.
Unless your name name is Max Verstappen. His sisters chauffer. He drives her everywhere she wants to go without hesitation or question.
In return, she comes to all his races, diligently uses her cane (even when she hates it) and listens for all the gossip. Her ears are amazing, and Max likes to use it to his advantage.
Then along came Oscar. It was inevitable that they would meet because he is Lando's teammate and Lando is Max's best friend. Similarly, her and the Brit are in cahoots to make Max fess up to Charles. There is a betting pool and everything.
She met Oscar while out clubbing. An activity that usually led to either Lando or Max going home not sober. Tonight, they would both be intoxicated because Oscar had offered himself up as the designated driver.
Sober conversations in a club with someone is an odd concept to her, considering the world she lives in.
Long story short: Her and Oscar got together before Max and Charles (much to Lando's dismay as he now owes her money).
Now, Max had been very clear that it is unsafe for her to drive. Which is true, considering she can't see much of the road let alone the cars around her. However, if the case arose where she could drive around an open track then he would provide a car if necessary.
She manages to crack Christian into making it a media thing. Perfect for the Press, give them something to chew on for a while maybe. If being a sacrificial lamb to the internet is what lets her drive, then so be it.
They do it in Austria around the Red Bull Ring. Max deemed this the best spot because of the long straight.
Even better: They've managed to convince McLaren to let their drivers join them for the occasion. Mostly because Max didn't want to be in a car with her driving, so Lando offered to teach then torcher his rookie teammate by letting his blind girlfriend drive as fast as the car will let her around the track.
Lessons go well. She's a quick study, and Lando, despite his chaotic nature, is a good teacher. Of course, it helps that she's driving an automatic, but she has a led foot like Max and wants to go as fast as possible.
After an hour, Lando gets out of the car. He's laughing like a maniac because he has no idea how well this is going to go. She may be driving an average car, but it certainly doesn't feel like it is with someone who can't see behind the wheel.
Oscar slides into the passenger seat and peers over at the female. She's vibrating with excitement. Despite the helmet, he can see the smile in her eyes.
"I have a feeling you're going to scare me and you're going to love it."
"Do you not trust me?" She feigns. Fake hurt dripping from her tone.
"Not in a car, no."
"I feel so loved."
With Oscar secured in the vehicle, she slams the gas pedal. Oscar doesn't make any noise if he's startled.
Actually, he barely makes noise at all. Aside from casually commenting every now and then on how she takes a turn. Sometimes, he makes her laugh with his commentary and usual deadpan humor.
When they do eventually step out of the the car, Oscar looks smitten. Heart eyes at his lover while they discuss how she did.
"I think I could race."
"Absolutely not. I'm not letting you anywhere near a supercar, let alone a formula one car." Oscar gives her a very serious look.
"You didn't seem scared at all!"
"Oh, that was terrifying, but I thought if I showed you I was scared, it might freak you out." He explains. Her mouth drops open in Suprise.
"I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or an insult."
"How about we say, 'I love you' instead and be grateful everyone involved is uninjured."
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formulaforza · 8 months
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—the seasons of love
or: the enemies to lovers situationship fic charles leclerc x female reader summ. and all of the sudden it was summer. minors dni. nsfw warnings under the cut. 5.9k part one part two part three part four part five
18+ because: public sex (not caught, not almost caught. just. public), dry humping, language.
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“Please,” he begs, voice cracked and half-broken. His fingers dig into the fabric on your hips, pulls you down harder, moves your hips faster. You love feeling him grow under you. You can feel his dick, hard under you in his shorts, and you can feel yourself, hot and bothered and soaking wet. He pushes you impossibly further down against him, sinks his teeth into your shoulder, around the strap of your tanktop and the material of your sports bra. 
It’s so hot. So hot and steamy and everything is sweaty and flushed. You think you might have to drink a gallon of water after this, that it’s the only way you’ll be able to accomplish another task all day. The sauna had to be the worst place to do this, to finally break after all this time. It’s hot and it’s dangerous in more ways than you can count. 
You barely hear him over the thick heat covering both of your bodies, over the dehydrated ringing in your ear. “What?”
“Enough,” he breathes, thumbing at the waistband of your shorts, trying to slip you out of them, to have you all the way. “Wanna be inside you.”
“Mm-mm,” you hum against his lips, smile out of the kiss because you know your words will piss him off. Your hand covers his, practically intertwines between his fingers, holds him still at your waistband. He’s pouting before you can even tell him. “No, this is all you get,” you mutter, moving his hand further down, until it’s resting where the fabric of your shorts meet his, where you grind against him, against his hand. “Anyone could walk in.”
He pulls your shorts to the side, lets his thumb slide between the fabric and your underwear, slides up and down over your slick, all messy and wet through your underwear. It makes him shake his head, how much of a mess you already are for him. You relish in it, watch him with a sick smile. “Let them.”
You laugh, elbows on his shoulders while your hands run through his hair, all sweaty and salty and lacking the familiar scent of his shampoo. No, no, it just smells hot. Everything smells hot and humid. “You don’t mean that.”
He leans into your fingers, lets your nails drag across his scalp gently with fluttered eyelids. He looks pretty and content and you hate it. “I might,” he mumbles into your shoulder, kisses the skin just past your clavicle, nips a bruise on top of a bruise on top of a bruise. Just in case you forget. 
“If you did,” you hum, sitting up, raising your hips off his and reaching behind your body, under your ass to palm him through his shorts, to put the outline of his dick just where you want it–where you need it. “You’d let them hear how good you feel instead of biting off my fucking shoulder.”
“You want to hear me?” 
“Yes,” you nod. He takes a deep breath, almost spits it out in a laugh and you can predict his actions before he even starts. “FU–” you smack your hand over his mouth before he can even get the vowel sound out, head whipping around to look at the door, to wait for the handle to jiggle against itself and for someone to push it open to see what all the commotion is about. When nobody does, you turn your attention to him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you!?” You scold, a laugh tickling the back of your throat through the muffled rage. He’s such a fucking idiot. He licks a long stripe across your palm and he about curls over in laughter when you yank your hand away disgusted. 
He shrugs, toothy, dimpled grin on his face. “I was making sure you could hear me.”
He thrusts against you, fingers digging into your hips, flat hands spanning your back, your sides, groping at your boobs through far too much fabric. He agrees with your assessment, he does, because he’s pulling up the hem of your tank top, of your sports bra, pulling them up over your chest so he can properly play with your tits. You know you should keep them covered, stay as clothed as possible just in case, but every nerve in your body reacts to his touch, his gentle fingers over your skin, and you’re in no place to be sensible.
You kiss him, hard and deep and not very mean at all, nothing like you usually do, all noses bumping and half giggles and foreheads resting against each other. “I hate you,” you whisper into his mouth before kissing him again.
You swallow his laugh. All of this is entirely too laugh-ey for your comfort. It’s weird. It’s all so weird, this new dynamic; the way you both stumble back and forth, swing like a pendulum from one side of the line to the other. One minute, you wish you could strangle him with his own tongue. The next, you’re lavishing in the taste of his laugh. “You wish you hated me,” he says. You don’t say anything. You do wish you hated him. You do, because it would be so much easier. If you hated him the way you used to, you wouldn’t be here like this, fucking his lap, desperately tugging on the waistband of your shorts to pull them tighter across your cunt. Nothing you do will make it close enough, not as long as you refuse to actually fuck him, to let him fuck you. “Cat’s got your tongue now, does it?”
You shake your head, kiss along his jaw, nibble his ear and his neck and his shoulder; you give him a taste of his own medicine. “Mm-mm, just feels good,” his skin muffles your words, makes them short and lispy.
He laughs. You’re so fucking sick of the fact that you aren’t sick of his laugh. It exhausts you, the way his dimples dig into his cheeks, the way his shoulders shake and his abs flex and you get to watch it all up close. It’s fucking infuriating. “You don’t think I’ve fucked you enough to know that sex doesn’t shut you up?”
You smirk, grind down onto him and God, it feels so fucking good. Better than it should. “And what does shut me up, Charles?”
“One of my life’s great mysteries,” he says, and you don’t know how long it’s been since he last met your eyes. He’s so glued to the two of you it’s bordering on pathetic, loose jaw and half-lidded eyes watching every movement of your bodies. He looks at you like he’s starved. It makes you fucking crazy, and he’s the only one that does it–which is that much more annoying. Nobody looks at you the way he does. 
It’s just the time. The reason he watches you the way he does. It’s time. Time apart, a lot of it. It’s just the time, you tell yourself again and again. “I missed this,” you tell him, and it’s because of the time. 
“Arguing with me?”
“No, no. Missed you.” Because of time. Because of time. Because of time. You think maybe you’d gotten addicted to it all, to the push and the pull and the promise of things never going anywhere. That you grew reliant on it, on him, to be there when you needed him to be, when nobody else was good enough for a quick fuck. You’d become an addict, a sloppy drunk who’s favorite drink is him. The orange juice is gone now, and you’re back to consuming him and it’s like you never stopped. 
He grabs at your ass, at your shorts and your underwear and your thighs, at anything that might possibly force you down onto him harder and quicker. The pace is fading fast, and you’re both losing the fight to keep being smart. “Fuck,” he groans, the same way he always does when he’s close. 
“I know,” you whine, nodding, fucking against him like your life depends on getting off. “Me too.”
“So good, baby,” he coaxes you. You hear the pet name, you always hear the pet name. You always tell him to shut the fuck up because it makes you mush, putty in his hands everytime. This time, though, this time you’re silent, breath pausing against his skin. “Sorry, sorry,” he corrects before you can. You weren’t going to, not this time. 
“No, it’s okay. God—it’s okay,” the conversation gets harder and harder, your mind cloudier with each passing moment, with each thrust bringing you that much closer to the tantalizing edge. 
“Yeah?” He moves you quicker, finds the space somewhere to rut up off the hard bench and into you. “You like that shit now?”
  You nod, eyes pinching shut, fingernails digging into the skin on his back. “From you, baby, fuck, I do.”
He sighs, pained, half-whimpered. You don’t know how you aren’t coming yet, how the fuck you’re still having a conversation. You’re blindingly close. He’s closer. “Stop saying shit like that to me, gonna make me–fucking… fuck,” he sputters out, and you feel his dick twitch in his shorts. God. Next time–fuck. Next time, you want him dripping down your leg. 
The thought of it is enough to unravel you, to leave you following right behind, thinking maybe, maybe you can fit in another smart comment, something to still manage to assure that you’ve got the upper hand. Something that, when the two of you walk out of here, you’ll be able to replay back as the moment you won the battle. You’re wrong. “But it makes my jo…” your words trail off into a laugh, a stuttered moan that’s lost all semblance of the joke. 
(twenty-two minutes earlier)
You'd decided to take some time after Monaco, to separate yourselves in an attempt to untangle the mess of webs you’ve wrapped yourselves in. You’d turned to the gym to blow off all that excess steam left behind in his wake. Only problem is, your gym is his gym, and you’ve spotted each other from across the place more than once. 
As you entered the sauna, the steam enveloped you, wrapping you in a cocoon of warmth and relaxation. You were looking forward to some peaceful time alone, a chance to unwind and forget about the newfound complications of your life. 
The tranquility is short lived, however, when you notice Charles sitting on the other side of the room. 
Your eyes meet for a split second, and in that fleeting glance, a myriad of emotions pass between you. Surprise, annoyance, that same third thing you’ve been trying to kill for months. Both of you.
You didn’t have time to dwell on his presence, not with strangers in the sauna with you. 
You took the farthest possible seat from him, trying to focus on the hot air working your muscles instead of the irritating man glaring at you. You can feel his eyes, their stare only dueling your frustration. 
Minutes pass in tense silence as you both pretend not to notice each other. The other people in with you, acting as a silent buffer, your own personal sauna Switzerland, get up and walk out, leaving the two of you alone. The moment the door closes behind the last person, he’s jumping down your throat, his annoyance no longer restrained. 
“What are you doing here?” he asked, tone laced with irritation. 
You rolled your eyes. It’s been so long since you’ve gotten to play your little game, no way you’re backing down this early. “I could ask you the same thing,” you retorted, crossing your arms defensively. 
He let out a humorous chuckle. “Maybe I wanted some peace and quiet,” he shot back.
You scoffed. “Peace and quiet? You’re the last person I expect to want that,” you said, unable to hide your disdain. 
Charles glared back at you , clearly unappreciative of your sarcastic wit. “Well, we can’t all be perfect like you,” he replied. The tension was thick between the two of you, thicker than it had been in a long time. “Can’t you find another gym to steal?” 
You huffed, tired of his complaints. “I can go wherever I want. It’s not my fault you’re so inflexible with your workout schedule,” you shot back, trying to mask the unease you felt. 
He leaned back in his seat, a hint of smugness in his voice. “And can you at least wear something a little more… decent? You’re not leaving much to the imagination,” He comments, eyes flickering over your outfit. He’s just a douche, you’re wearing a sports bra and running shorts. 
You annoyance flares. Who the fuck does he think he is, acting like a boyfriend—an overprotective one at that. Fuck him. Fuck him. “Oh please, I don’t dress to impress you,” you retorted flatly. 
He seems unphased by your rage, which only makes you angrier. “It’s distracting,” he mumbled.
Fed up with his attitude, with everything he decided to represent by waking up and coming to the gym and walking into the sauna, you decide to call his fucking bluff. You got up from where you were sitting, moved closer to him, hands on your hips. 
“You want to see how revealing my clothes can be?” you challenged, folding over the waistband of your shorts, revealing just a bit more skin. 
He blinked, caught dumbfounded by your move, by your sudden proximity. “That’s not what I meant,” he stammered, bravado faltering. You took a step closer, gaze locked with his. 
“Then what did you mean, Charles?” you asked, voice softening just enough to let him think he’s going to get off easy. He’d never be that lucky, not when he’s talking like he owns you, like he has any right to your body or the clothes you put on it. “Did you mean to criticize everything I do, everything I wear, or just assert some kind of dominance over me?”
He looked taken aback by your words, and honestly, you didn’t blame him. Your tone surprised even you. It was clear he hadn't expected you to challenge him like this. “No, that’s not what I meant at all,” he replied, voice softer now. 
“Then what is it, Charles?” you pressed, refusing to back down. “What is it about me that’s bothering you so much?”
He hesitated for a moment, and then finally spoke, his voice tinged with frustration. “It’s not that I’m bothered by you,” he said, “I just… I don’t know how to be around you.”
You took another step closer, closing the distance between the two of you. You roll your eyes, huff and puff and almost groan because he’s only reminding you of why the two of you agreed to keep your distance in the first place. He can’t hang, can’t get with the program and understand that you just can’t deal with the implications of him.  “What do you mean?” you ask, voice cooling, wanting to understand him. 
He hesitates, gaze locked on yours. “It’s like… every time I’m with you, everything is just. It’s different,” he admitted. “I can’t pretend it’s not.”
You can, you can pretend. You like pretending. Pretending is easy, far easier than facing the facts, facing the feelings. Your heart skips a beat, his words resonating with the feelings you’d been trying to bury. “So, what are we then?” you asked, already gearing up to refute any claims he goes making about us, about we, about any other multitude of pluralities he wants to stutter out. 
He has no sort of a clear answer. “I don’t know,” he replies, harrowingly candid. You don’t think you’ll ever be faced with him being this vulnerable and not feel like throwing up.  “I wish I did, but I don’t.”
The vulnerability in his voice breaks any and all anger you’d managed to carry to this point. You almost felt bad, a pang of sympathy tearing through your chest. You knew he was struggling as much as you were. “I don’t know either,” you admitted, voice threatening to fall into silence. You both stand there for a beat too long, heavy with the weight of it all. And then, in a moment of impulse, you reach out and take his hand, intertwine your fingers with his. 
His thumb moves over the back of your hand, but he says your name like you’re hurting him, like he’s truly pained to hold your hand. “I can’t lose you. I won’t,” he whispers. “I can’t, I can’t keep running from it.”
You were taken back by the sincerity, but rather than pull away, recoil into safety like a scared turtle into their shell, you squeezed his hand gently. “I don’t know if I’m ready,” you spoke honestly, more generously than you had yet allowed yourself to. “But I. Yeah, I can’t lose you.”
And just like that, the months of rebuilding the barriers and the boundaries has all gone to shit, all the walls melting to the floor in a steaming puddle. The tension that had been built, destroyed, redbuilt, for so fucking long that it felt like a tightly wound spring just begging to snap. 
Without another word, you leant down, closing the distance between you and pressing your lips against his. There was no fight, no anger or frustration or game to win, it was just a kiss. It was no longer a hookup, a friends or enemies or… frenemies with benefits situation. It’s not an itch that needs to be scratched anymore. It’s a gap, begging to be bridged, to be explored after so long. 
You moved to straddle him, out of pure convenience–no distraction, no battle for domination. Just you, sitting on his lap, and him, kissing a smile onto your lips. 
As you pulled apart, breath heavy and hearts pounding, you looked at him, searched his eyes for the same fear you felt, gentle fingers making a half-hearted attempt at styling his hair. “I don’t want to ruin this,” he says. You don’t know how it could possibly make any sense, how you could possibly feel like you do, but you miss him. He’s right here in front of you, and you miss him. 
You nodded, “I don’t either,” you confirmed. You don’t know which one of you moved first, who started it all. Just that you were the first to speak again. “We shouldn’t.” Push.
“I know.” Pull. 
“But I want to.” It’s pained, just like everything else. You know better. You both know better. 
“I know, I know.”
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You gathered at the entrance of the trailhead, the air full of laughter and excited chatter as all of your friends caught up, planned for the hike ahead. It was Marta’s idea, and she’d swore to you up and down that Charles wasn’t going to be there, that he had too much to focus on with summer break coming to an end in just a few days. 
It has been so long since the whole group got together, and when you’d gotten the text it sounded like the perfect excursion, the best way to spend a warm evening. You beam talking to them, catching up on work and romance and family and other friends. Your gaze sweeps over the group, stopping dead at the sight of him. Either Marta had lied to you, or Ricky had lied to Marta. 
“What’s he doing here?” you asked her, and she followed you gaze. 
“Who—oh. I don’t know, honest.”
As if he can feel your eyes on him, his gaze meets yours for a fleeting second. The shared surprise, the shared irritation, it tells you that he didn’t know you’d be here, either. There’s something else there, too, something about a reminder of shared history, an acknowledgement that no matter how hard you two try, there’s no escaping each other. 
You set off on the hike on opposite ends of the group, as far away from him as you can manage. Maybe, maybe you’ll be able to put off the inevitable for just a while longer. You’re not naive enough to think you can make it to the viewpoint without ending up next to him, without being forced into conversation. 
It lasts all of fifteen minutes before you, Marta, Charles, and Ricky have all been relegated to the back of the pack. You’re not surprised it’s the three of you—Ricky has Chiara strapped into this little backpack carrier, and it weighs him down. Marta spends more of the hike snapping pictures of the baby than watching where she walks, while Charles is attempting to be a professional photographer at every possible lookout point, grabbing a picture of each and every interesting thing he sees. And you, well. You’ve always been a slow hiker. 
The two of you still stand with Marta and Ricky between you, walking four wide through the trail. Marta’s already planning Chiara’s first birthday, trying to work around everyone’s schedules to make sure the whole friend group can be there. Ricky talks Charles’ ear off about work, about if they choose the best possible hiking trail and whatever else it is straight men talk about. 
Despite your separate conversations and the couple between you, your eyes continually find his, drawn in by the laughter and animated gestures that always annoyed you so.  There’s just something so. So painfully familiar about the unspoken and impossible to ignore tension between the two of you. You feel like a child, the way your mind blanks and time stops for just a second every time you meet eyes. It’s stupid. It is.
“Aimez-vous cette randonnée?” Enjoying the hike, Ricky asks you, oblivious to the tension floating around him. 
You tear your eyes from Charles, offer a distracted nod. “Ouais. Excellent moyen de passer la soirée,” Yeah. Great way to spend the evening, you reply. 
You hear the rest of the group before you can see them, huddled off to a decent-sized lookout point, one with a clear view of the entire country. The sun is just starting to set, casting a warm, golden glow over your home, sparkling off the calm sea. 
The group dispersed around the opening, snapping pictures of the view and with each other. You find a seat-shaped boulder to sit on, silently appreciating the sights, irritatingly aware of Charles’ proximity. You can always tell when he’s nearby, can feel him like he;s electrically charged. 
He’s only a few feet away, carefully crafting away at an Instagram story when he speaks to you for the first time all evening. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” he speaks softly, mumbles almost, and doesn’t bother to look up from his phone. 
“Always is,” you reply, eyes fixed on the horizon. 
He nods in agreement, and the air is so heavy. So, so heavy. 
Marta cuts through it all with a photocall, and because of the laws of nature, you and Charles find yourselves side by side. Like you said, electric. Magnetic, maybe; the pull. 
The camera clicks, captures the smiles and the shared experience and he’s looking at you again. It’s like it’s just the two of you, sometimes, all muddy history and lingering potential. 
With the picture captured, conversations resume, groups disperse, and everything is back as it was; even the innate awareness of where Charles is. 
As the hike continues to the summit, you and he move together in step. The familiarity is like a blanket, something comfortable amidst the messy chaos of emotional turmoil. 
“I used to love sunsets like this,” Charles began, snapping the silence of shoes on dirt and half-crunched leaves. 
You turn to him with piqued curiosity. “What changed?”
He hesitates, locks his gaze on the path ahead. “Life, I guess. Responsibilities, expectations, the weight of it all. It’s easy to forget to appreciate the simple things.” He shifts his steps slightly, brushes his arm against yours and makes you shiver. He makes you so nervous. You fucking hate that he makes you so nervous now. He’s looking at you, and you’re the one fixed on the trail. It’s a simple swap, but it feels heavy, it does. “Hey,” he says, soft. Comfortable. 
You pick at your nails. Anything to avoid his eyes. “Yeah?”
You can hear it in his pause before speaking that he’s choosing his words carefully. “I’ve been thinking a lot lately,” he began, gaze never leaving the side of your head. “About us, about everything.”
Your heart races the same way it does everytime he tries to have this conversation. You know what he’s referring to. You always know, even if he doesn’t say it outright. “Yeah,” you nod, meet his eyes and dare him to continue.
He swallows, Adam’s apple bobbing when he does it. “I just. I think we owe it to ourselves.”
His words sink into your skin slowly, poisoning your every cell like he just has to put voice to every thought that haunts you. “Charles,” you start, voice soaked in uncertainty and longing. He holds up a hand, stops you before you can continue. 
“I’m not asking you for an answer,” he says, and a lump is already forming in your throat. “I know you need time. I don’t understand it,” he chuckles, “but I know it.”
“Charles,” you whisper, voice barely audible. 
His fingers brush against yours in the space between your bodies. It’s so small, such a minute gesture, but it speaks volumes, gives you permission to feel, to open up to the possibility that lies before the two of you. 
“I know you’re scared,” he says, dares to hold your hand, to run circled over the back of yours with his thumb. “I don’t have answers, but. I don’t know,” he admits, “I don’t know, maybe we can figure them out together.”
You have to look away, you do. Because if you don’t watch the cotton candy sky, the watercolor oranges and yellows and pinks and blues, you might just cry right there on the hiking trail. He always does this, it’s his go-to move recently; make you feel all safe and stupid and like it’s okay to be vulnerable. 
You huff, think carefully before nonsense tumbles from your lips. “How did we end up like this?” You’d asked, as if it wasn’t obvious. The two of you had stumbled your way into this situation the same way you’d stumbled through the rest of your lives, bouncing from opportunity to opportunity just hoping, praying, that someday it would all work out the way you thought it would. 
“Does it matter?” he replies. 
This isn’t how you thought it would end up with Charles. You thought things would always stay the same—they’d made it this far, through this much in the past two and a half decades. What could possibly change the irritation between you two now? If you hadn’t softened with Jules, with Herve. If none of it had made you budge, why on God’s green Earth would a single drunken night change everything? 
It shouldn’t. There’s no reason that the cards should have fallen like this, but they did. They did, and now everything is so fucked up because you’re soft for the one person you’d counted on never being soft for. 
“No,” you finally say. “No, I suppose it doesn’t.”
He doesn’t fill your silence, the two of you just sit in it, continue up the trail, following the sound of your friends’ voices, of the music playing from someone’s speaker. 
L’appel du vide. The call of the void. The French and their incessant need to make everything sound more romantic than it is. Only they could romanticize the impulse to be destructive. You’re faced with it at the trail peak, standing on the edge of the cliff next to him. 
You could push him, solve all your problems and create half a dozen more. You could jump, solve all your problems and leave one big one for the rest of them to deal with. The problems would be solved, they would. 
“Okay,” you say, the toe of your shoe twisting into the gravel. 
“Okay?” He asks, in the middle of taking a picture of the sun. It’ll be dark when you get back, the sun is disappearing into the horizon as he photographs it. 
“I guess we,” you sigh. He shoves his phone in his pocket. “We can figure it out together.” It’s a terrible admission, an agreement that something does exist, that there is a thing, glaring at you with a third eye and needs to be dealt with, sorted out, controlled. 
He nods, doesn’t poke or prod for anything he knows you can’t give. “Alright.”
“Yeah.”
You don’t give into the call of the void that summer night. You couldn’t, even if you wanted to. The void had left you a voicemail in the early hours of the year, before the sun rose and after the moon set, lost somewhere in the dawns. The void had already called, and you’d already answered. 
(1 hour later)
You were right, it was dark when the group of you had finally made it back to the parking lot. You’d separated yourself from him again, somewhere on the way down the trail, and had taken Chiara from Ricky. You carried her on your hip and talked with Marta the whole way back. 
“Is there something going on with you and Charles?” She asked, and your heart rate doubled instantaneously.  You focus on the baby in your arms instead of looking at your friend, know that one glance in her direction and she won’t wonder anymore, she’ll know every detail without a moment and a half of eye contact. 
“What are you talking about?”
“I don’t know,” she shrugs. “You guys have just been weird all year.”
Your stomach drops. You’d thought the two of you had been so good at hiding it, and here you are finding out that what… everyone has known for eight months? For almost nine months, they’ve all been looking at you and Charles and knowing the two of you were fucking behind closed doors. “All year?”
“Yeah, I mean,” she laughs. “Ricky and I figured the two of you hooked up on New Year’s.”
Of course. Of course they knew. You weren’t exactly subtle about it that first time, the two of you drunkenly disappearing, just the two of you, walking hand in hand off into the night. Of course they knew, how couldn’t they when you’d made it so fucking obvious.
“We didn’t,” you still lie. If you can’t sort out your own feelings, rationalize anything internally, how are you supposed to attempt to explain the situation to anyone else, much less your best friend and his. Even if you could—maintain some sort of composure about any of it—you owe it to Charles to talk to him about it before anyone else.
Despite all of it, you owe it to him. 
“Yes you did!”
You get defensive quick, and Marta’s insistence that you did sleep with Charles (even though you definitely did, and she’s more right than she knows) gets under your skin and rubs you in the wrong way.  “And what if I did?”
Marta purses her lips, presses them into a thin line that reminds you of your sister, of your mother. “Nothing. If you did, it means nothing.”
“Right,” you sigh, nod, raise your voice half an octave and talk to Chiara more than Marta, squeezing her little leg. “It means nothing.”
She matches your tone. “Unless it means something.” You glare at her. “If there’s anything there, you can tell me.”
 “I know,” you nod. She continues to pry. 
“So?”
“I…” you sigh. It would be so much easier to just tell her she was right. That she couldn’t be more right and there are a million and one things going on between you and Charles. It would be so much easier to tell her, just like it would be so much easier to tell Charles, but. You can’t. No matter how much easier it would be, you can’t. “No. No, nothing is going on.”
“Okay,” she says, clicks her tongue on the roof of her mouth to remind you just how much she doesn’t believe you. “I better not see you getting into his car tonight.”
You smile, weak, but a smile nonetheless. “You won’t.”
You managed to maintain your distance, somehow, against all the polarizing forces of the universe, but trying to stay away from Charles is like running against a rubber band. You can only go so far. 
He’s parked two spots over from you, in one of his more… under the radar cars. It’s why you didn’t blink when you’d parked by it, because it wasn’t the Monaco National Anthem on wheels, it was just a car. Anyways, you’d parked two spots over and now here you were, walking side by side to the back of the lot. 
“So,” he says, drags his feet against the blacktop, scuffs on the bottom of his sneakers with every step. 
You can feel Marta’s eyes on you, look over your shoulder to confirm her position on the other side of the parking lot, and drag your own feet. The faster you walk, the faster you get to the cars. “So…”
The silence is half-suffocating, the wavering dare to break it hanging in the air above you both. You never can start the conversation. You never know what to say. “You wanna come back to my place?” He offers, and you think that maybe the reason so much between you is said in silence is because he doesn’t know how to start the conversation, either. 
“Uh,” you’re at your car now, fingers moving over the shimmering paint. You glance at Marta, still watching your interaction while Ricky straps Chiara into her carseat. “I do, but,” you sigh, eyes finding their way back to his. “I can’t.”
“Okay, yeah,” he follows your former sightline. “You alright?”
You nod. “What about tomorrow?”
“Tomorrow’s good,” he says, and then, with a dumb look on his face, “Are we gonna fuck?”
You laugh. “Probably.”
“Are we gonna talk?”
“Probably not.”
He purses his lips into a smile, runs his hand through his hair once, twice, three times. “Saw that coming.”
You’ve slowly—slowly—been making your way to the car door, backing away from him at the back end. “It’s settled, then,” you say, unlock the car door and open it, lean against it while you continue your conversation. 
“Yeah, settled,” he nods, fidgeting with one of the bracelets tied around his wrist. “See you tomorrow.”
You smile, annoyingly endeared. “Goodnight, Charles.”
He smiles back, at his bracelet and then at his shoes and then finally at you, stepping backwards toward his own car.  “Goodnight.”
You watch him walk away, because anyone would, and just when he’s about to vanish from your eye line, you call after him. “Hey!”
His head shoots back to you, eyes wide and brows raised. “Yeah?”
“Fuck you!” You tell, stand on your tip-toes to make sure he can see your middle finger over the cars. He shakes his head and winks back at you before climbing into the car. 
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How your life can change with a call - Charles Leclerc
Hello, hello.
So here we are, a new post, with a new story. This idea just popped up in my head and I could not just write it Hope you will like it.
Out and over
Kiki
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DadCharles Leclerc x Reader
Summary: You have met two times before, but never ended well. The third time you have met was because something changed in both of your life, and this how two turned into three. You need to learn, adjust and love.
Warnings: death, anxiety, swears, alcohol usage, smut, pregnancy, mention of infertility
Masterlist
-- Monaco --
“Emily, do you really think this is a good idea? A blind date with your fiancé’s friend.. You know how much I hate blind dates..” you walked out of the bathroom trying to put the earrings in. “Come on, he is a really nice guy.” She sat up on the bed as she was caressing her big bump. She was in the 8th month of her pregnancy, she had reached the point when everything was uncomfortable, sitting, laying down, it did not matter anymore.She smiled and handed over the handbag before grabbing the keys from the little bowl next to the door and handed over that one also. “Have fun! Call me tomorrow!” She kissed left side of your cheek before opening the door and pushing your out.
“You really want to get rid of me.” You turned back at the doorstep. 
“No, I just need someone next to my daughter’s Godmother.” She winked at you.
You arrived at the small restaurant a few minutes earlier than it was agreed on. Checking the time at your watch on your arm as you were looking around watching the people walking, cars passing by. Fifteen minutes went by, when you took your phone out and started to write a text to your friend, asking about how long you should wait for him to arrive, when a taxi stopped in front of you and the door opened. You looked up from the phone hoping that your date had arrived but a young woman got out of the car, smiling at you friendly before handing over the cash to the driver and closed the door. You smiled back and let out a disappointed sigh and looked back on your phone. Maybe he is sitting inside, waiting for you. You walked into the small restaurant but you had no idea about whose name the table was booked. But the waitress was nice and showed you a small table, after you asked her if she knew there was someone who was waiting for a date, she just shook her head with an apologetic smile and handed over the menu, while showing you the offers for wines. Frustration was bubbling up in your body, as you were sipping on the red wine as you were looking around in the restaurant. Couples were having their romantic dinner, chatting away. Maybe he got into a traffic jam.. Or maybe he forgot about what time you will meet… Or he just never wanted to come….
You were just finished with your glass as the fifteen minutes actually turned into thirty minutes. You tried to catch the attention of the waitress to ask for the bill and leave, when she turned to your way with a smile and started to walk to your table. You picked the small handbag into your lap and dug up your wallet to pay when you saw someone walking behind her.
“Here she is.” She put down another menu “I’ll be back in a few to take your orders.” She smiled and left the table. I looked up from my glass checking out the new person who was trying to take the seat on the opposite side.
“I’m so sorry!” He started “ I got caught up in a meeting.” He was panting as he was trying to take his jacket off. “I’m Charles.” He extended his hand over the table and smiled at me. His piercing greenish, hazel eyes looked deep into yours. His handsome features could really charm you instantly but you did remember him, he was at the wedding of your friends. And he was flirting with you through the reception but ditched you right away when a young brown haired girl appeared. 
You looked puzzled at him waiting for him to realize that you had met him before, even shared some stories together, but he had no idea about it. 
“Y/N, nice to meet you!” You extended your hand out and let a small smile on your lips appear. Just as the drinks arrived and you were having a quite boring but polite conversation, the whole atmosphere was just awkward at your table, you were feeling awkward because you did know the guys sitting across the table, while he had no idea who you were. 
“Hey Charles, thank you for the afternoon. And the ride to here. We should do it again but in my place.” A long brown haired woman stopped at our table and winked at him and squeezed his shoulder before looking at you for a second and pulled her lips into an ironic smile and walked away from the table, swaying her hips obnoxiously. You turned your gaze back to him, seeing that he was still lingering his eyes on the woman’s lower back, while he was nibbling on the edge of the glass. You coughed awkwardly making him tear his eyes off her and turned back to you.
“I mean you did not specify what type of meeting you were caught up with. But now that purple mark on your neck and the slight red lips really gave it away.” You smiled at him ironically and looked back at your plate. 
“Y/N, I ‘m sorry, I totally forgot about the date and she was over and…My life is pretty messed up now. I just got out of a relationship…” He started to explain everything but you just looked at him and picked the bag up from the back of the chair. 
“Look. I did not want you to feel that this was an obligatory meeting… Especially that our friends arranged the whole thing, and I mean, you should have just sent Emily a text. Now I just feel humiliated, and I’m really not up for this. If you were not ready for a date, if you just wanted something casual you should have said it. And to be honest, I don’t have the energy and the time just to “waste” it that way.” You grabbed your coat too, before getting up from the chair and putting 50 euros down on the table. “I think it should cover it and maybe yours too.” Said before turning around and walked out of the restaurant.
“What a terrible night and what an asshole” you thought. And you did not know how wrong you were…
-- 3 years later --
“Hello, I’m Tomasso Rossi from the central hospital, is it Y/N L/N? “A deep male voice woke you up from your sleep in the middle of the night. 
“Uhm yes, it’s me. How can I help you?” You mumbled back still half asleep and confused and why would a hospital call you at this time. You sat up in the bed, rubbing your eyes.
“You were given as an emergency contact for Emily Bernard. Can you please come to the hospital as soon as possible?”
“What happened to her? Is Sophia okay?” You jumped up from the bed, started to search for the pieces of clothes in the dark room, picking up a leggings and hoodie before running to the door.
“I can’t tell you anything more than this over the phone. I’m sorry.”
“I’ll be there in 10.” You ended the call as you ripped the front door open and ran down the hallway to get to your car as fast as you could. While you chanted to yourself that you hope your goddaughter is okay and your friends too.
“Y/N Can you please come with me?” A tall figure appeared next to you as you were looking through the small window watching the peacefully sleeping Sophia in the hospital room. You still could not believe the whole thing. This night felt like a nightmare, in which you just can’t wake up from. You swiped off the tears from your cheeks and turned to the man on your right before nodding and following him down on the corridor. “Please take a seat in here.” He opened a door of an office where was a big oak table with four chairs, from which one was already occupied. The man lifted his head up from his hands when he heard the door open and as soon as you stepped in, you froze down. It was Charles. The man who have had that awful date with a few years ago. His glossy eyes went up from your shoes all the way to your eyes. His handsome features were covered with tears. He leaned back in the chair and swiped the fallen tear away. “Please take a seat.” The lawyer ‘s deep voice cut through the silence in the room which made you jump a little bit. You slowly took a seat next to Charles.” So you may have known that both of you were the Godparents of Sophia. And as well as that tragic accident of her parents, she was left behind without any caretakers. Emily and Éliott made a will where they have selected the both of you as caretakers. I know that you both need time to wrap your heads around this situation, but we need to decide it within the next 48 hours, or I have to give the hospital permission to start the paperworks with the child support, to start searching for a place for Sophia in an orphanage.” He looked up from the papers and pushed his glasses up on his nose. The two of you  were sitting in silence looking at in front of yours. Questions were flying around in your head. Caretakers? Orphanage? The lawyer was waiting for you patiently on the other side of the table, playing with his fingers as you were just zoning out completly.
“I’m in.” Charles broke the suffocating silence, his voice was weak and raspy due to staying silent for that long mixed with the crying. You looked at him, his eyes were on you waiting for you to answer. “I can take care of her even if you are not in this.”
“I’m in too. I’m just still trying to believe that I’m not dreaming.” You raked through your hair with your hands, and slid closer to the table. “Do we have to sign somewhere?”
“Yes, I have printed out the papers for it.” He took another pile of paper in front of him and slided over the table. Give one pile of each of you. “I’ll let you read it through, until I will go to the head of the child protection department. “ He got up from the desk and walked out of the door, leaving you in silence again. Charles got up from his seat and started to walk around in the small office. 
“Can you please stop walking around? You make me dizzy.” You leaned back in the chair taking your eyes of him, and close them. Pushing the heel of you palms into your eyes.
“Don’t need to stare at me. You can just leave the room. “ He snapped back at you stopping for a second before starting to walk again. “How the hell could this happen? What will I do with a three years old.. I have races most of the weekend..”
“What will you do? Do you think that I’m gonna leave my best friend’s baby, my goddaughter with you?” You sat up in the chair putting down the pile of paper on the desk.
“Y/N, both of us know that I can give that child better support.. And don’t take it as an offense.” He stopped for a second looking at you.
“What are you talking about?” You raised your eyebrows and waiting for his reponse, expressing what he was meaning by that.
“I know that you have some struggles with money and accommodation…Éliott told me a few weeks ago, when you and Emily met.”
“ You know nothing.” You shook your head left to right, and pulled on the sleeve of your hoodie down on your hands. Your anixiety were up on the roof already but with this conversation with Charles just made it worse. You were really forcing yourself no to just get up and walk out of the room.
“You live in a one room apartment in the worst part of the city.. “ Tilting his head to the side with an unamused expression on his face.
“You know not all of us have millions of dollars in their account to buy the fanciest penthouses in every city they have been before.” You stood up from your seat and took a few steps closer to him. Looking straight into his eyes. After your last time you saw each other did not ended well, you still have had some thorn in you, but with that statement he was really pissing you off. You haven't slept for 48 hours now at least, your best friend just passed away in a car accident and this rich, arrogant man is just judging you since you have stepped into the room. You were really having none of it. “Yes, indeed I live in not the best part of the city, I do rent a place, but if you have talked with Éliotte and Emily you know that very well, that I just lost everything. I lost my job and my fiancé, which made me give up the luxurious life and move away as soon as possible to a place with literally no money. And you are judging me because it just makes you a bigger jerk than I have already been thinking about you. And don’t you dare to think that I will give up on the last little thing that I have left from my childhood best friend, who was basically my sister. “You were standing close to him, pushing your finger into his chest. The lump in your throat got much bigger than before, tears were filling up your eyes, making your vision blurry. “Sophia is all I have left of her, Charles.” Your voice was weak as a sob was bubbling up in your throat, before you know Charles pulled you in a hug which made you broke down. “I want to wake up, this is a nightmare. They were at my place a few hours ago, we just had dinner, planning the summer vacations together. I want to wake up and see them again. I want Emily to call me saying that all this was a dream and she is still here. “ You said between the sobs as you were clenching on Charles’s shirt, soaking it through with your salty tears. He was rocking your bodies left to right, trying to calm you down as he was crying too. 
“I know, I want to wake up too. But this is not a dream, sadly. And we need to figure this one out, we can’t let them take Sophie away. “ He pushed your body away from his, you lifted your head up looking at his tear soaked face. “ We have to set some rules,but we need to do this together. She needs some stability in her life, and this can only be us.”
“It won’t be easy, but we need to do this” You stepped away grabbing the pen and extending it to him, as you had the other in your hand ready to sign the paper. You looked up at him and asked. “Are you ready to co-parenting this little angel with me?” 
------------------------------------------------
Month have passed since you have signed the papers and took home Sophie. It was still a learning process to have a toddler with you, to maneuver in the new parenting life, to bring the three different lifestyles together. It was hard, and you knew it well that first it wouldn't be easy. Take Sophie to the daycare, go to work, schedule your time with Charles. The whole living situation did not make it easier too, going back and forth to your place and between Charles’s. You still have had to adjust that you have been sleeping at Charles’s place with Sophie in the bed,because her room still needed to be adjusted. The only thing that made it much easier for you was that Charles’s mother Pascale helped you, she was the biggest help in your life, even though she was living hours away in Monaco while you were still living in Italy.
“Good morning” Charles appeared in the kitchen unexpectedly and made you jump as you were trying to find the button on the fancy coffee machine that would start to make your coffee, but you have already looked on the top, on the front, the sides even the back to find a button that will just make he machine work.
“Hello” You mumbled back and turned back to the machine.
“Someone is grumpy.” He picked up a water bottle out of the fridge and leaned back to the counter watching you with a grin, as you were having some troubles.
“Someone was snoring so heavily that I thought I’m in a construction site, which made Sophie wake up many times or just turn a lot in the bed, somehow ending her little hand in my mouth, or her little feet in my kidney. She sleeps just like her mother did, crosswise on the bed! “You were gesticulate violently, as you were telling him about your night. You have agreed that she sleeps with you until you have a bed for her and she will get used to the whole thing. “Oh and I try to make a coffee for myself but you have a fancy machine that needs to have an engineering diploma to use.” You turned defeatedly around throwing your hands up. 
“I do not snore that loud. And maybe use the screen on the top of the machine. Let me help.” He stepped behind you and pushed the screen before, so the machine started to buzz, filling up the mug with the black liquid. Stupid fancy machines and their hidden buttons.“ Bonjour ma petite chou!” He smiled and picked up Sophie, who was standing in the corner of the kitchen rubbing her eyes tiredly. “Comment as tu dormis? Il y a une sorcière qui a dit que tu ne la laisser pas dormir. (How did you sleep? There is a witch who said you did not let her sleep.)” He looked back at you with a cheeky smile.
“Je parle français aussi, crétin. (I also speak french, you cretin.)” You rolled your eyes as you filled another cup with coffee too, and put it on the kitchen island. He just laughed as he grabbed the mug and lifted up to his lips, but stopped before took a swig of it. “I won’t poison you. It’s just coffee..” You walked out of the kitchen to the dining table and pulled the chair out for you, and extended your arm out. “Now give me Sophie, she needs to have breakfast. I have made some for you too, if you are hungry, it’s on the stove.” You pointed with your head to the way of the kitchen. 
“Oh thanks.. That’s…Nice of you.” He looked at you surprised while letting you take Sophie and scratched the back of his neck.
“No worries. But don’t get used to it.” You looked up for a second before feeding the little girl in your lap with her breakfast. “I have ordered a chair and a bed for her at night, they will arrive here maybe in the afternoon or tomorrow.” You said casually as you took a bite from your toast and flipped through the pages of the magazine you have found on the table. It was a Sportsweek magazine with some pictures of him on the cover. You flipped through the pages, and stopped for a minute to the pages where his photos were. You could not lie to yourself that he was handsome on those, especially the ones that were black and white, somehow they even captured his features the best way. He was a beautiful man, and no matter how you tried to think that he is the last person that you want to feel attracted to, he was extremely handsome.
“You like what you see?” He slides on the other side of the table with a stupid grin on his face.
“Oh don’t be full of yourself. “ You rolled your eyes. “ But I have to say that those black and white ones really give you an advantage. “ You closed the magazine and slid to the other side of the table, before grabbing a napkin and swiped off the crumbles of Sophie’s cheek. He was taken back by your words, since you have met again and started this new living situation you were cold with him. Not rude or anything, just not as friendly as you can be with his mother and siblings. He understood it, he messed it up for real. That day when he was set up for that date, he had no idea who she was. She seemed really familiar for him, he just could not put a finger on it, but later he found some pictures from the wedding of your friend’s and that’s when he saw those outstanding green eyes, and he knew that he did not mess it up once, but twice. She behaved measuredly with him, sometimes let a smile appear on her beautiful features when he made a joke or a funny comment but it always quickly faded away, just only stayed there when Sophie was the main source of her happiness. He couldn’t help but always felt happiness and warmth spreading through his body when he saw them together, both of them were actually glowing from the happiness, their laughter always filled up his place, all he wanted after a busy day just to finally arrive home and see them.
“So Maman just called yesterday when you were doing some shopping, that she was planning to have dinner at hers.” He sat down at the table picking out his phone. “Do you think we can manage to stay there for the weekend? I thought we should leave this afternoon. ” 
You picked up Sophie from his feeding chair and let her go playing in the living room with some blocks. 
“Yes sure, but we need to stop at mine. I have to pick up some clothes.” You gathered all the empty cups and plates from the table and walked to the kitchen to put it in the dishwasher. 
“Okay, I’ll go and pick up the SUV and we can stop there on the way to mum’s, how does it sounds for you?”
“Deal!” You looked up from the machine and smiled at him which he answered with a nod and a smile too.
“Okay, we can pick up my stuff but you can’t say anything about my flat!” You turned in your seat to face him, as you were just before to turn on the main street of your flat. He nodded as his eyes were on the road ahead, and indicated before turning. He quietly parked the car and you picked up Sophie from the back of the car and had her sitting on your hips and let her snuggle to your side nuzzling her face into the crook of your neck. Charles remained silent as you walked up to the flat. “That looks like reliable security..” he mumbled when you were opening the door, which only had one lock and the keys were hardly turning in it. You looked back at him with an unamused look. “ It was just a statement.” He lifted his arms up in defense and took the toddler out of your arms and hugged it close to his body.  
“Stay in here I’ll be back in a few.” You pushed the door open and walked in the flat, closing it before he could step in. You closed your eyes before letting out a sigh. You pushed yourself away from the door and walked all the way to your small bedroom, to grab some nicer clothes for the dinner so you are not gonna be in your sweats. You opened the door and flicked the lights on.
“I thought you would never come home.”
“Jesus christ!” You jumped back as the voice cut through the silence. Your eyes snapped to the way of the voice seeing your ex-fiancé sitting on the bed waiting for you. “What the hell? What are you doing here?”
“I was calling you for the whole week, and you were not answering. So I thought to check on you.” 
“I have had no intention talking to you, and I have had no time either, and I don’t have it now. I want you to leave.”
“And I want you to come back.” 
“May I know why? I think you were the one who kicked me out of the flat, if I’m correct. After you fucked you little secretary in your office, while I was next door having the most important meeting of the company.” You folded your arm in front of you. “You can say whatever you want, but I’m not going back to you.”  
“And what will you do? Live here? In this dumpster? While you can have marble flooring and the most luxurious furniture and the fanciest life? You choose this over me?” He jumped up from the bed, trying to take the bag out of your hand while you were stuffing your clothes in. You pulled the bag out of his hands.
“Get out now!” You pointed at the front door looking into his eyes. 
“Y/N, you can’t just give up all we have had. Because of one tiny stumbling. Don’t be ridiculous.”
“One tiny stumbling?” Your voice jumped a few octaves as you stuffed the last piece of clothing in your bag. “Mark, you have fucked your own employee. Hell you have been having affairs behind my back for multiple occasions as I found out. And everyone knew about it. All the time when you have said you went on a business trip abroad, you did not even leave the country, hence not even the city!” You were yelling as you were walking out of the room, heading to the front door.
“Y/N is everything okay? Why are you shouting?” Charles opened the front door, making both of you snapping your heads his way. 
“What is he doing in here?” both men said at the same time looking at each other and back at you.  Your hands ran through your hair trying to calm your mind down.
“Trying to teach me a lesson or something that you are with him, or what?” Mark stepped closer as he was still looking between the two of you.
“Didn’t you say that you are not together anymore?” Charles asked while he did not take his eyes off him. 
“You choose him over me?!” Mark grabbed your upper arm making you snap your head the way of him. 
“Let go of her dude!” Charles stepped closer as you were still having a staring contest with your ex fiancé.
“It’s none of your business Max. “You gritted through your teeth “Let the fuck go of me and get the fuck out! Never want to see you ever again!” You jerked your hand out from his grip and pushed on his right arm making him stumble over his own foot all the way to the door. He looked back at you before disappearing. 
“Are you okay?” Charles’s voice broke the silence of the apartment making you waking up from your trans shaking your head. 
“Yea, let’s go. Need to get ready before that dinner.” You picked up your bag from the floor before heading out the apartment. “Need to call the landlord to change the locks.” You mumbled as you tried to lock the front door
“Or you can give up this and move into my apartment in Monaco. You know how big it is, so if you don’t want to see me then you just simply don’t come to my side. It would be much easier for Sophie too, mom can help because she is much closer to us, especially now that the season will start soon. And your crazy ex won't find you, and last thing I want for you to meet him, when I can't be on your side. Something is not right with this guy and I'm not feeling comfortable leaving you alone with Sophie if he is close to you and us. Don’t need to decide now, just think about it, okay?” He took the bag away from you and lifted Sophie on his arm a bit before he smiled at you. And even you got yourself to have a small smile at him as he was walking down on the hallway to his car.
--------------------
“So how are you? How are you working things out with two kids?” Pascale sat down next to you on the couch looking at the three boys playing with the little girl in the living room. As she passed a glass into your hand filled up with red wine. You were quietly sipping on your wine before answering. 
“You would think a two year old would be more challenging than a 25, no you are wrong.” We both laughed and clinked the glasses. " You are incredible that you raised three boys."
“If you need help just call me anytime okay? I know it’s not easy with a child especially if you just turned out to be a parent out of nowhere. It can be different if the whole starting a family thing is planned and you go through the pregnancy, you have time to prepare yourself, in your case it was not like that. So if you feel like you are overwhelmed just give me a call. Might take a little to arrive in Italy but still.” 
“Charles actually wants to move back to Monaco.” You interrupted her monologue.”Wanna move back to his old place. Saying it’s better for him, for Sophie too, due to the fact she was raised here. And he also pointed out that you would be closer to helping me. So I guess after next week, you don’t need to travel all the way to Italy.” You watched her expression changing, she was paying attention intensely first and then her eyes just went wide and her smile widened. Took out the wineglass from your hand, and put it on the small coffee table in front of you before pulling you into a bone crushing hug. She was the most welcoming woman you have met in your life, always smiling, spreading happiness all over the place. 
“Charles really loves her” She said once you were apart, watching the boys and the little girl together.
“She really loves him too. But I’m afraid she is getting confused. Like she knows that it’s not her dad, but her little brain just wants to tell her to say dad. But she just can’t make it herself.”
“Would you let her call you mom and dad?” She turned at you , studying your face.
“To be honest, I don’t know. I don’t want her to feel left out that she can’t call a person mom and dad, but I don’t want her to forget about her real parents. That won’t be fair with Emily. I can’t take her place up as a mother. “You tried to swallow back your tears and looked up to the ceiling before Pascale grabbed your hand and squeezed it a little bit, making you tear your gaze from the wall and look back at her. “I would rather leave that choice up to her.” You whispered and squeezed her hand back.
“Look at me Y/N. You will never make her forget her parents. Just because if she will call you mom that won’t mean that you can’t keep up their legacy. “ She shook her head” And you already are an amazing mother.” She grabbed both sides of your face, making you look at her eyes deeply. “And she will always be grateful for that.” She kissed your forehead and pulled you closer to her body for a tight hug. You hugged her body back while with your other hand swiped the escaped tear away. 
-- Monaco --
Today was special not because it was Sophie’s first time on the track but it was yours too. You always watched F1 when you were a child with your dad, but never been a huge fan of it. So being on the track was definitely a new thing for you. You picked up the little girl from the car seat and grabbed the bag on the other hand, while you followed Charles to the entrance. He looked back at you two and extended his hand out initiating to give him the big bag full with diapers and other essentials.
“I will walk with you to my driver's room, where you can settle down, and can go back anytime you feel or Sophie feels it’s too much for her okay?” He stopped and lifted his sunglasses up and smiled at you. The past few days your communication was on the minimum, he was busy with the new season, constantly in the gym or in his room on the sim. But since you moved back to Monaco something changed. The atmosphere in the flat changed, the way he acted with you too, he was much calmer, more patient and talkative. There were times when he just came out of the room late at night to have a chat with you, which has never happened when you were living in Italy. He was more devoted. And you opened up a little more to him as well, he was not the same person that you have met three years ago. That person was a boy and now you have had a man living under the same roof as you. He was joking with you, teasing and even openly flirting with you from time to time. And you won’t lie, you liked it and even participated in the little flirting and teasing.   “Here one for you, and one for the princess.” He grabbed two headphones.
“No way she has her name on it.”You laughed when you saw on one side it stated Sophie’s name and on the other side it said “principessa del paddock (princess of the paddock)” “Can I get one like this too?” 
“We can talk about it.” He winked at you and opened the driver’s room. “You just need to say yes.” You looked at him confused, making him roll his eyes. “For that date…”
“I thought you were joking that night about it.” You shook your head and placed the bag on the small table. A few weeks ago happened when he casually hinted away that you could be his date on one of the galas and maybe even have dinner with him before that night. You really thought that he was just nice and did not think it could have been a date.
“Never joke about those things, you should have known it by now. “He smiled at you sadly “ Okay, so I gotta go, but we can meet up later. “He picked his phone up from the table and walked out the door before he turned around ”Oh! Before I forget! Press will be circling around here like sharks..So be careful okay?”
“Always.” You answered before he closed the door and left the two of you alone.” Babygirl, boys are confusing. My suggestion would be to avoid them as much as you can, maybe when they are around their 30s they can be better…”You looked at the toddler who was sitting on the bed looking back at you with her beautiful doe eyes and started to giggle. “Yea I know my love life is a joke, no need to laugh about it that obviously.” You shook your head laughing.
The whole paddock was buzzing, everyone was running around like crazy. Media was running around capturing every moment of the seventh race of the season while teams were walking up and down the road of the paddock. The garage was busy as well, mechanics were preparing the cars for opening laps. You were intimidated about the crowd not knowing where you can and cannot go, did not want to be in the way of anyone. Wanted to stay in the drivers room, but somehow Sophie was more interested about the things that went on outside, she was throwing a full tantrum about not wanting to play with the toys inside, all she wanted to open the door and be outside. Nothing was good for her at the moment, not if you picked her up, not if you tried to distract her somehow, so you just grabbed her hand and walked out of the garage.
As soon as you planted your feet outside different media outlets just swarmed you.
“Y/N! This is your first time on the track? How do you feel about it?” One reporter showed the microphone into your face, while the other five reporter were pushing on him. You pushed the little girl behind you, letting go of her and as you were trying to protect her with your body. 
“Y/N! How does Sophia feel like being on the track?” Everyone was just loudly asking question from left to right as they were pushing you further away from the garage.
“Please! Take a few steps back! “ You pleaded “Sophie?” You turned around looking for the toddler as you have not felt her little hands on the back of your thighs anymore. “Sophia, where are you!” You looked around frantically as you tried to grab a glimpse of the little girl's figure out of the crowd. “Sophia! " You called her again, but couldn't find her. Panic started to rise up in your body, making your throat closing and your breath quickened. “Get out of the way! Where is Sophia?” You pushed yourself through the crowd of reporters not caring about that you have knocked a few microphones out of the reporter’s hand. “No, please god…” You whispered as you were looking around in the paddock, panic fully spread through your body. You started to run the way of the Ferrari’s garage as you kept calling out for the little girl. 
“Y/N! What's going on? “ Carlos grabbed on your arm making you stumble in your own feet.
“Y/N? Why are you crying?” Charles stepped next to his teammate, the smile disappeared on his face instantly.”Where is Sophie?” He looked behind you and snapped his sight back at you.
“I.. I don’t know. She was really cranky, she wanted to go out, we went out for a walk and the media just surrounded us. “You were looking around, maybe she could spot her before turning back to the drivers. “They pushed and pulled on us, I showed her behind me, and next thing I know, she just disappeared. “ You looked at him, tried to calm your breath so the words you were saying were understandable for them.” Charles I lost her.” You summarized the past happenings through the hiccups and sobs.
“Okay I’ll go to the loudspeaker and ask them to say that she is missing.” Carlos swiped his palm on your shoulder with a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, we will find her. She can’t go that far away.”
“Come on, we need to go and check if she went the other way.” Charles grabbed on your right hand and pulled you down on the way where you came from. “Please don’t cry.” He squeezed your hand. You were shouting Sophia’s name left to right, causing everyone to look at you, before they started to help looking for the little girl. You were a full mess, crying and screaming the little girl's name as you were looking around. 
“Charles!” Max shouted at our way, making us stop and turned to his way. And there she was, snuggling on the chest of Max, as he was waving. You ripped your hand out of Charles’s and ran down to the way of the paddock.
“Mommy!”She giggled as Max put her down and she ran to your arms. You picked her up and hugged tightly to your body and held her head close to your neck and combed your fingers through her hair. Charles wrapped his arms around you two and rocked you back and forth as you were trying to calm your cries. 
“Sophie, I was so scared. Baby I’m so sorry.” You pushed the little girl away from your body and looked into her eyes. Her smile faded away as she grabbed your face and looked at you and at Charles.
“Thank you Max.” You lifted your head up and wiped the tears away from your cheek. Stepped out of Charles embrace and hugged his body with your left arm. “Thank you really.”
“No worries, she was just wandering around in here, smiling at everyone, and she just walked in and grabbed my hand. I was just about to walk to your garage hearing that you were looking for her when I saw you too.”He explained and patted Sophie's head, “She was so curious about everything.” He smiled and pinched her cheeks. 
“Thank you man.” Charles shook his hand before wrapping his arm around your waist leading you out of the garage. “ We should head back.” You walked quietly down on the way back to the garage.
“I’m sorry.” You broke the silence as you walked into the driver’s room.” You were right..”
“About what?” He looked at you puzzled, closing the door behind him.
“Me, not capable of this..” You sighed as you sat down in the room watching Sophie playing with the blocks on the carpet. “I’m the worst parent ever.”
“Oh Y/N..” He rubbed his face and sat down next to you pulling your hand away from your lap as you were anxiously playing with your fingers, picking on your skin. “I was not right. You are the most incredible parent.”
“But I lost her..”
“And we found her, and she was actually doing perfectly fine. Don’t beat yourself up, please. Chérie, look at me.” He lifted up your face by your chin, he swiped the single tear away that escaped. ”Would you think that she would call you mommy if you would be the worst parent ever?” He studied your face and grabbed the piece of hair out of your face and put it behind your ear before continuing. “You could not hear it because of the panic. But this little angel just saw you and instantly said mommy. And you are the best mom ever, and you are capable of so many things in this world you can’t even imagine. You wake up everyday for this girl, taking care of her, running a full household, working at the same time.  You just amaze us everyday.” He leaned closer and touched your foreheads together as his eyes never left yours. “And if we would have time I would continue telling you all the things that make you amazing.” He whispered as his eyes went back and forth between your lips and your eyes. You’ve never been this close in your life, you could not tear your gaze away from his beautiful greenish eyes with those specks of brown in it. Your breath caught up in your throat as you were looking down at his lips while you licked your own. A loud knock on the door made you two jump apart. 
“Charles! It’s time for the free practice! “
“Coming!” He shouted back and got up from the bed. “I’ll be back soon okay? You can watch it on the TV here too, or you can come down to the garage. Lorenzo will probably be there.” He picked up on the earcovers and gave it to you. You smiled at him and nodded as he crouched down and gave a little kiss on the top of Sophie’s head before walking to the door to open it.
“Charles!” You stood up making him turn back looking at you surprised. “Kick some ass il predestinato!” You smiled at him, and he shook his head laughing before stepping back and grabbed on your cheeks before kissing your forehead.
“Will do Chérie.” He looked into your eyes and winked at you with a cheeky smile and left the room.
-----------
“Are you ready?” Charles knocked on the bathroom door.
“In a minute! “ You mumbled as you were lining your eyes for the tenth time, because those eyeliner just did not want to be symmetrical. 
“You said it ten minutes ago.” He laughed on the other side of the room. 
“And it will be another ten minutes if you keep bothering me.” You giggled and sprayed some hairspray on your hair. You looked at your reflection in the mirror, adjusting the strap of the dress on your left shoulder. The red dress were hugging your curves all the right places ending it around your waistline and falling down in waves till the floor. You never thought red would suit you, especially this type of red, that were the perfect color match of the Ferrari’s shade. The top of the dress really helped with your look of your breasts with a modest cut in the middle. You were not a tall person, usually you said that you have short legs too, but in this dress with the slit on your right leg just made it look like you have beautiful long legs. And the whole look was just put together with the black stiletto. You felt beautiful and powerful and sexy. 
You opened the door and walked out the room.
“Mommy!”Sophie squealed” Pretty! “She clapped her hands together as she was jumping on the bed of your room, making Charles lift his gaze up from his phone as he was sitting next to her on the bed. His mouth was agape and sat upright, putting the phone next to him on the bed.
“Yes baby, mommy is beautiful.” He whispered and got up from the bed. He was wearing the standard black suit and trousers with the Ferrari logo on it, which looked so good on him, making him so handsome. You felt your cheeks getting warmer as you blushed due to him staring at you with sparkling eyes. And the word mommy and beautiful out of his mouth just made you feel a hundred times more prettier. He has never said mommy to you since Sophie said it in the weekend, but somehow it just made your whole stomach do a somersault and a warm feeling spread through you. You truly felt special. 
“Thank you, thank you! “You giggled as you twirled around making the little girl clapping her hands. You leaned down and kissed the side of Sophie’s cheek which made her giggle even louder, then grabbed Charles’s cheek too and kissed his also. He stopped and started at you with a smile on his face as his ears turned red just before his cheeks. He was about to say something when the door opened and Pascale walked in. 
“Come on kids, they are waiting down at you. Oh my gosh Y/N, you look stunning!” Pascale looked up from her phone and stopped in the entrance as she saw the two of you. “You two are just so beautiful!” She clapped her hands together. 
“Merci beaucoup Maman.” Charles walked to his mother and kissed her cheek. 
“Have a great night. No need to rush home okay?” She gave you your small purse and kissed your cheek, you smiled at her wildly and followed Charles out of the room.
The elevator’s door opened and in the hall the group of people turned around looking at the two of you walking out. A few claps and whistles went around from Carlos and Pierre as you got closer making you blush for the umpteenth time of the night.
“Incroyable! “ Pierre said as he caught your hand and made you turn around. “You look stunning!” He pulled you closer and hugged you with one arm. 
“Merci.” You smiled at him and tucked a string of hair behind your ear. “Are we waiting for someone else?” You looked around in the lobby before your eyes stopped at Charles who was looking at his phone. 
“Yes, one more person and we can go.” He answered and looked up. “There she is!” He pointed and all of you turned to the left seeing a blonde woman walking down your way, throwing her hair every time she took a step. She was wearing the same shade of red as your dress just with a bigger cut on the cleavage area and the slit on the side came all the way up to her upper thigh. 
“Hello there, sorry for being late, my hairdresser just took longer than expected. "She stopped next to Charles and pecked him on the lips. 
“Hi, I’m Amanda!” She turned to you all and shook hands with the guys first before stopped and stared at you.” Oh you must be Y/N, the one who raised that pretty little girl with Charles.” Her smile was wide, even looked like a snarl as she grabbed your hand and squeezed it tightly and shook it before pulling you closer and gave two kisses on your cheeks. You were taken back by the way she just greeted you so you just mumbled a quiet hello back to her. “The taxi is waiting actually outside, but could not get one taxi, so Charles, Carlos and I will go in one, and you two in another.” She clapped her hand together looking at you.” Hope it’s not a problem.” 
“No, of course not.” You answered, shaking your head, still confused about how she got in here, and who she was. Charles has never mentioned that he has someone. 
“Perfect!” She squealed, hooked her arm with Charles’s and started to walk out from the lobby. 
You turned around and looked at the French driver next to you with a confused expression, which he just answered with a shrug and linked your arms together and pulled you out of the hotel.
“Who is she?” You asked as you were sipping on your margaritas at the table as you looked at the pair talking to the other team members. For the whole night she was holding on to him like she was afraid if she let go he would disappear. You tried not to be judgmental and put your thoughts aside but you felt deep down that something was not right with her. The whole thing was just weird. 
“One of the Ferrari’s investor’s daughter. As far as I know, her dad put down a big check for them for this season’s car.” Pierre leaned back in his chair as he was playing with the glass in his hand. “They got together at one of the parties last week.” He added as you were taking a sip from your drink, making it go down in the wrong pipe, alcohol burning your throat. “What? You didn’t know?” He looked at you surprised and you shook your head as you were coughing. Somehow you felt nauseous and disappointed at the same time as you took a glance at the pair standing far away chatting and laughing with the group. 
“We don’t talk about love life to be honest. But never mentioned that he has a girlfriend, especially when he asked me on a date last week.” You placed the empty glass on the table. Pierre studied you quietly with a smirk on his lips. “What now?” You looked at him unamused
“You like him.” He states casually and lifted up his glass of whisky and took a sip. “Admit it.”  
“Pierre.” You rolled your eyes and pushed the glass away from you. “There is nothing to admit.” 
“Okay, so if there is nothing to admit. Like you do like him.” He took a final sip of the glass and placed the now empty one on the table. He placed his hands on his thighs before getting up from the chair, extending his hand out for you.” Come let’s have a shot, and dance with me.” You laughed and took his hand. “And go on a date with me.” He pulled you closer to his body, wrapping one arm around your waist. You looked surprised at him not answering which just made him chuckle. He winked at you tugging along all the way to the bar. He ordered two tequila shots from the bartender, and without even a hesitation you threw the shot back, enjoying the burning sensation down your throat all the way to your stomach. 
“Okay.” You said out of nowhere, making him turn to your way looking surprised. “I’ll go on a date with you.” His smile even got wider and motioned to the waiter asking for another round. The night ended with many other shots and cocktails making you unstable in your heels and a terrible headache in the morning. You were on your way to the restaurant of the hotel with Sophie grabbing on your pinky to have breakfast.
“Good morning.” You greeted the group already sitting at the table making them turn around. You lifted up the little girl and placed her in the feeding chair next to the empty one waiting for you. 
“Good morning, how are you feeling?” Pierre looked at you with a smirk on his face. 
“Headache. Just gonna check the coffee machine and something for Sophie.” You pointed behind you. 
“Coffee is already here, though you might need it after the amount that you have had.” He pushed the cup to your side making you smile at him. 
“Thanks, you are a lifesaver .” You smiled at him widely and turned to check the offer for breakfast at the table when you saw Charles and Amanda walking to your way. 
“Hey Y/N. Did not see when you left yesterday.” Charles smiled as he was holding on to his cup, while the blonde just nodded to your way and sat down at the table. “Oh shit sorry I forgot your coffee.” He looked up from his mug.
“No worries, Pierre has already taken care of it, but thanks. "You smiled at him and patted his shoulder before walking to the way of the tables. 
“So did you enjoy last night?” Carlos asked as you were mixing the yogurt for Sophia in her plate with some fresh fruits. 
“Yes it was fun.” You answered as you tried to feed the kid. Mornings were usually hard for you, till you had a big mug of coffee you were not in your usual chatty self, but you forced yourself to be nice.You were about to continue your thoughts about last night.
“Oh it was so much fun! To meet all those incredible people there!” Amanda jumped in the conversation loudly making everyone look at her. You grabbed the spoon harder and took a deep breath before moving your gaze to her way with an amused expression. Your head was still pounding and the squeaking voice was really not helping with it. “And the food. Oh my gosh it was so good. Right Y/N?” You could see it from the corner of your eye that Pierre was having a blast with the awkward conversation that went on between you and the blonde. 
“It was pretty shit to be honest.” You looked at her unamused, making everyone burst out laughing, even Charles. “Never understood the concept of those fancy foods smeared all over a huge plate.” You shrugged and turned back to the girl but she was not paying attention to the food she was more about to play with Charles’s hands and the bracelets on his wrist. After a few more tries you just gave up, and grabbed your coffee and drank from it. If she wants to eat she can eat later, you are not rushing anywhere. 
“Hey Sophie! Baby! “ Amanda leaned over the table and dropped some berries on her plate.” Heard you call Y/N your maman. If you want to, you can call me Maman too.” The whole table just stopped and everyone went quiet. You looked up from your cup and deadly stared at the woman sitting on the other side of the table, switching your sight at Charles studying his surprised face, trying to read anything from it. You narrowed your eyes slightly and your fingers squeezed the porcelain harder than before. He kept your gaze and you could see it in his eyes he was trying to initiate something. That woman really has some thick skin on her face.
“No, thanks.” Sophie chirped back and tossed the berries down from her plate. You could not help but let out a loud snort nearly spilling the coffee on the table. Covering the widening smile on your lips with the back of your right hand. 
“Savage.” Carlos mumbled diving back down on his plate trying to hide his smile spreading on his face. You looked back at Charles watching him lifting up the napkin, hiding his smile under it as well.
“I’m gonna get another cup of coffee.” Amanda pushed the chair back with such a force and stomped away from the table. 
“At least she was polite about it and said thanks.” You added and placed the cup on the table, everyone around the table started to laugh and tried to cover it with coughing while Sophie was giggling loudly and clapping with her small hands, the smile on her face was so wide and proud, she knew that she was the cause of the laugh and she loved it. You looked at the man sitting on the other side of Sophie, Charles was now silently laughing as his shoulders moved up and down giving it totally away.
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@YNscameraroll New year, new challenges, new lifestly and new season is ON.
-- Monte Carlo --
“I’ve asked mum to come for babysitting tomorrow.” He walked in the kitchen leaning on the kitchen island as you were preparing some snacks for Sophie. You were back in the flat in Monaco before the next upcoming race. 
“What for?” You looked at him confused. 
“For the event. You forgot about it? I wrote it on the message board.” He pointed behind him on the fridge where you kept that board you usually wrote everything. The colorful board had different type of events and messages and even grocery list on it. It was perfectly color coded Pink was for Sophie, orange was for you and obviously red was for Charles.
“Oh shit. I totally forgot. “You put your palm on your forehead as you remembered.” I can’t go tomorrow.” 
“What? Why? It does not say anything for you tomorrow.” He looked at the board checking the days on it 
“I  forgot to write there. But I can’t really go. “You scratched the back of your neck.”I have a date.” 
“A date?” He looked back at you with his eyebrows furrowed. “With who?”
“Can’t you just take Amanda? She would enjoy it a lot.” You turned back to the island and continued to cut up some fruits on the plate.
“Don’t change the topic. With who Y/N?”
“Okay alright. With Pierre.” 
“The fuck?” 
“Language! “You turned around looking at him. “ We have a three year old in this house with ears that the FBI could use as a listening device, she is that good and you know it.” You scolded him and hit his upper arm. You both needed to be extra careful what you have said because that girl had radars instead of her ears. She has already learned some swear words that somehow slipped out of yours or his mouth from time to time.
“How did you get together?” He was rubbing his arm with a painful look on his face.
“It’s nothing really. He asked me out at that gala last week when you were all over the place with Miss blondie.”
“I see. Okay cool, hope you will have fun.” 
“I hope too, thanks.” You smiled at him and washed your hands in the sink. “So? Are you gonna ask her tomorrow?”
“Nah, just gonna stay at home with Sophie, and we are gonna have the best night of our life.” 
“Okay cool.” 
“Yes, very cool” he picked up the plate from the kitchen island and walked out of the kitchen leaving you confused.
“Okay, you know the drill. Even if it’s Friday she can’t stay up till 10, because tomorrow she will be cranky. And for sleeping she will need that bunny she got from your mom, and..” you rambled as you walked out of the bathroom trying to put one earring in your ear. 
“Y/N! Stop! ” He grabbed your upper arm and stopped you. “ We are gonna be fine! You look beautiful by the way.” He looked up and down on you. You were wearing a black pencil skirt with a white button down you just tugged casually in the front of the skirt. It was a casual but elegant style. You smiled at him meekly and tucked a string of hair behind your ear.
“Thank you!” Your phone rang on the dining table.” He is here. I’ll be back in a few hours. Have fun.” You leaned down and kissed the top of the little girl's head and turned to Charles and squeezed his hand. “If you need…”
“I’ll call you or my mom. I know. Now go! He is waiting” his smile was not reaching his ears as usual, he let go of your hand and opened the door for you. 
You opened the blue sports car's door and slid in.
“Hey” you greeted and turned to kiss both sides of his cheek.
“Hi, you look stunning.” He smiled and turned the car on and started to drive the way to the restaurant. The whole dinner went well. You were chatting freely above your dishes, jumping in topics, never a quiet moment at your table. 
“So have you ever went on a date with him?” He asked once he finished his cup of water by the end of the dinner.
“With who?” 
“Charles.”
“Oh, yes once. It was a blind date set up by the parents of Sophie. Can’t say it ended well though.” You pulled the side of your mouth and put your fork down.
“No way!” His mouth gaped as you looked at him confused waiting for him to continue “ you were that girl who left him at the table. That’s hilarious.” 
“So he did tell you about it.. just left my name out of it.” You rolled your eyes.”Was not hard because he did not even remember me.”
“He did, but he told me that he was the biggest dick in his life and he was so mad at himself for leaving out the opportunity to have a normal date with a beautiful girl like her.” He picked your hand off the table by your pinky. “And he is right, it was his biggest mistake. Because you are really incredible.” He played with your fingers on the table. “But I also know that I can’t shoot my shot. And before you start to oppose, I just have to look at you and see the way you look at him. That’s how every men wants that one girl in their life to look at him like that. And you might be blind as well. No I’m not right. Both of you guys are blind.” He laughed and lifted your hand up to his mouth to lay a kiss on the back of your hand. “I would like to thank you for the date. I really enjoyed the time with you. And if ever you want to go and have dinner with me, not as a date, I’m always up for it, okay?” 
“We can have a non-date dinner or lunch.” You winked at him smiling widely. “Thank you Pierre.” You stood up from the table and walked to his side and hugged him. 
“Your welcome Chérie.” He hugged you back. “Come on, let's go home.” He kissed the top of your head and led you out of the restaurant.
“Hello, I’m back.” You whispered as you opened the door, peaking your head in the living room seeing that the TV was still on.
“Hey” Charles sat up and muted the tv.” Sophie is sleeping already. So how was the date? You came back pretty early.” He followed you to the kitchen as you took down two glasses from the cupboard and picked a red wine out of the fridge 
“Was good.” You slid one of the glasses to his way before taking a sip of yours.” But not a date.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“We just realized it can't be a date.”
“So you two are not?” You shook your head nibbling on the side of the glass, contemplating if you should ask it or not. But the amount of alcohol you have had during the dinner made you feel courageous and curious.
“You and Amanda?” 
“No, I broke it off after the morning of the gala.” He shook his head and took a sip of his glass too. You let out the breath you were holding in before placing the glass on the table. 
“She was a bitch.” you commented and he got surprised by your bold comment and smiled at you widely. “ You know I’m honest” You shrugged and giggled.
“Yes she was.” Took a swig from his glass.
“Sophie really told her off.” You giggled and he started to laugh as well. 
“She learned from the best.”  He added between laughs. You were looking at each other through your glasses, before you placed yours down on the counter and walked closer to him. Your eyes never left him. “What are you doing?”
“Hoping I’m not making a bad choice.” You whispered as you grabbed on both of the sides of his face and pulled him closer to you, smashing your lips on his. You felt he was surprised by you and instantly you felt panic. You were about to break the kiss off when his arm wrapped around your waist and pulled you closer to his body as he kissed you back. You moaned into the kiss as one of his hands slid up on your body all the way to the back of your neck. His lips were soft and you could taste the red wine he just drank.
You linked your arms behind his head and played with the hair in the back of his neck. You stepped back all the way till you hit the kitchen counter, with one easy move he lifted you up and placed you on the kitchen island and started to kiss down your face all the way to your neck. You lifted his shirt up and threw it somewhere on the kitchen floor. You were panting and you tilted your head to the other way making more room for him. 
“You are incredible.” He mumbled in your neck, his hands were grabbing on your thighs as you spread them apart leaving him more space to pull your body in his. “You have no idea how long I have wanted to do this.”Hands started to leave your thighs and pulled the tucked shirt out of your trousers and started to open up the buttons. His lips were about to kiss the top of your breasts when you jumped apart as Sophie called out from the other side of the living room, she walked out rubbing her eyes tiredly. You grabbed the shirt and tried to hold it together covering yourself up, as Charles stepped away from you and walked up to the little girl. 
“Yes baby? Is everything okay?”
“Bad dream.” She grabbed his hand and pulled her back all the way to her room. He looked back at you still sitting on the counter before disappearing at the corner. You jumped down from the counter and drank the leftover wine from the glass while you redo some buttons on your shirt. You released a big sigh and tried to steady your breath. You ran your hands through your hair and rubbed down your face, your skin on your face was hot. Stepping out of your heels and walking down on the hallway as you passed the room of Sophie’s you peaked in. The little girl was sleeping on the top of Charles on her small bed and under her there was the loudly snoring Charles. You smiled at the sweet picture in front of you and walked in the room and grabbed the blanket before covering them with it and quietly left the room.
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@YNscameraroll You knew that phrase that if something is quiet with kids, you better check it out. And you found them sleeping in her little bed.
Two arms wrapped around your waist from the back which made you jump as you were filing up your mug with coffee. He pulled your body closer to his as he put his chin on your shoulder, his hot breath fanning your face. 
“ Good morning beautiful” His voice was raspy that just made goosebumps running all over your body. 
“ How was the sleeping in the small bed?” You both giggled and you filled the other cup with coffee too, sliding it to the side for him.
“ I’m so sorry.” He kissed your neck which made your breath caught up in your throat. “I will make it up for you, okay?” He whispered in your right ear as his left hand’s index finger was drawing shapes on your hips where your top rolled up. You leaned back into his chest more, the thought of his fingers on your skin, caressing you and his lips so close to your ear just made your knees shaking. “Just it has to wait because someone is lurking on us. “ He turned you around and kissed the tip of your nose before letting go of you and walked to the kitchen table with the mug in his hand. “ But I’m gonna take you out on a proper date tonight. And we will see where it takes us.”
“This is where we had our blind date.” You turned to him on the passenger seat as he parked the car in front of the restaurant.
“Thought we should redo our first date.” He smiled at you and got out of the car before jogging to your side and opened it for you, extending a hand to help you out. He laid his hand on the small of your back as you walked to the restaurant where the waiter guided you to the back of a small table, separated from the other guests.
“You are on the right track, you arrived on time.” You winked at him, making him chuckle as he was sitting opposite of you. “Hope you are not gonna leave me here either.”
“We will see.”
You opened the front door of your flat, and just took a step in before Charles grabbed your waist and turned you to face him, without hesitating he pulled you closer and kissed you. You instantly wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him closer, kissing him back. The two of you were backing up on the way to the livingroom, stumbling over a few toys left around on the floor, making the two of you giggle. He easily grabbed the back of your thighs and lifted you up and pushed your back to the wall. His fingers were digging into your skin making you moan into his mouth. His lips left your and started to kiss down all the way on your neck.
“Yours or mine?” He mumbled into your skin and let you down on your feet, you grabbed his hand and pulled him into your room. Planting both your palm on his chest you pushed him more into your room all the way to your bed where you pushed a little more on him, making him falling on the furniture.
“What’s that?” He asked and sat up before pulling out a plastic block under the blanket. You looked at each other and burst out laughing. “Life with a kid, huh?” He threw the block on the other side of the room and grabbed your wrist and pulled you down on him. “Finally we can finish something that got disturbed the other day.” His hand went behind your head and pulled you down on him for a kiss. Hands were running up and down on each other’s body, pulling on the clothes that you were wearing impatiently. You broke the kiss and sat back on his lap, grabbing on the hem of your dress that had rolled up till your waist and pulled it over your head and threw it somewhere in the room. Leaving you just in your black lace underwear. “Putain” He mumbled, staring at your body, before his eyes met yours again. You started to unbutton his shirt and opened it up so his beautiful upper body were on display now. He was waiting for you for an other kiss but just before your lips would touch you slides down and started to kiss your way down on his chest down to his stomach, you could feel under your fingers and your lips that his breathing got heavier with every kiss, and the pull of his muscles. You reached his waist and before opening the button of his black jeans you looked up at him. The way he was watching you just made you feel more hotter than ever, his hungry eyes were watching you, waiting for your next move. You opened his jeans with an easy move and pulled it down. Just as you hooked your fingers in his boxers he grabbed your hands and pull you up, before turning the two of you, making him on the top. You opened your legs more, to leave him more space to get between them.
“As much as I want to look at you all day in this set, I need to check out what you have under it.” He kissed you with such a force that let you breathless as his fingers got under the strap of your bra pulling it down, freeing your breasts, latching his mouth on the soft skin. You stretched your back with a moan as he sucked on the skin and the nipples. You raised your hips to have some friction with calming down the burning sensation in your core. He growled on your breasts as he lowered his hips down, pushing it on yours, feeling his bulge through your soaked panties. 
“Charles, please” You whispered and let your hands ran through his hair, gripping on his soft hair and pulled him up for a kiss. “I need you.” You moaned into his mouth.
“I can feel it chérie.” He chuckled and laid his palm on your hot core that soaked through the lacy material. He pulled down his boxers as his other hand was still rubbing on your crotch, making you squirm under him. He sat back and grabbed the sides of your panties and pulled down with an easy move, leaving your completely naked in front of him for the first time. For a minute he was just looking down at you, mesmerized by the beauty of you, lust were radiating off your body. You were the most beautiful and sexiest thing he has seen before, and he just couldn't get enough of the sight. “Tu es si incroyablement belle (You are so amazingly beautiful). I’m a lucky bastard’ He smiled as he leaned closer, pecking your lips.
“I want to feel you, please.” You mumbled on his lips, moving your hips feeling his tip between your folds. He was hesitating.  “I'm on the pill.” Without another second you could feel the familiar stretch inside of you as he pushed himself in. Both of you moaned because of the feeling, you grabbed on his upper arm, digging your nails into his skin, as he pushed himself further and further in you. "Putain, you are so thight." he growled and breathed heavily as he stopped for a few times before sliding in more. You slided your hand between the two of you to the way of your clit to start a circle on your clit to help with the pain and turn it into more pleasure. He started to move slowly as he was kissing and sucking on your neck. "Please, faster." That was the only thing that could come out of your mouth. Your minds were in full ecstasy, your nails scraping through his back. The only thing was on your mind on repeat was his name. He picked up the pace and now he was slamming into you in a deep and fast rhythm. “God.. you are so good” You could feel your orgasm coming in a second but with him at that pace you could feel he was getting closer also. All it took were a few moves and you were screaming in pleasure while you came over his dick. And it did not take longer for him to follow you,feeling him twitching inside of you and with a loud grunt he closed his eyes and let his head fall in the crook of your neck. He rolled off you, pulling you close to his body, still inside of you, leaving you still in full bliss. Your panting was filling up the quiet room before you cleared your throat and spoke.“ You really made up for the first date.” You looked up at him, he was looking down on you with sparkling eyes as he was chuckling.
“ I will try my best to make up for all the mistakes that I have made, letting you walk away.” He kissed the tip of your nose and tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. You got up from bed, and headed to the bathroom, just before stepping in the room you turned back.
“Wanna take a shower?” He was laying on your bed, his arms were tucked behind his head. He was the most handsomest thing you have seen in your life till now, his eyes were loving full with admiration, that could make you blush anytime.  “Maybe I can make something up for you too. We still have time before Sophie is back.” You wiggled your shoulders teasingly “ And I may have the biggest shower in the whole house, two people can easily fit.” His eyes grew wide, and threw the blanket on the side and jumped out of the bed, crossing the room and picked you up by the waist making you screech and burst out laughing as he went into the bathroom. 
—————————————
Everything has been perfect. You’ve never imagined that after that night where everything took a 180 degree turn can turn into something this good. You traveled through Europe with Charles and his team, cheering for him at races with Sophie. Those weekends you spent together the three of you as a little family. When you were back in Monaco for a few days together you were all over each other. It was like a dream, you found someone who supported you in everything, someone who you felt the happiest and the most secure.
“Have you planned your life how you want it to look like, when you were younger?” He asked, breaking the silence as you were sitting on his yacht, watching his family and friends chatting and laughing as music was quietly playing in the background. You were enjoying the little break between race weekends, and what could have been better than spending the time on the yacht if the weather is finally warm. You were sitting on the big sofa in the back of the board with some of his friends. He was looking at the pair sitting on the other side of the deck, the young lady was sitting back on the furniture, locking her hands on top of her belly, she was trying to find a position where she was feeling comfortable with her pregnant belly as she was watching his fiancé playing with Sophie.
“I think most of the people on this planet have an idea about their future.” You turned to him, swirling the wine in your glass.
You knew well that once you will reach this topic. You knew really well that Charles was a true family man. He always said it. He always had one of his family member around him, never a day when he did not speak one of his siblings or his mum. He said it multiple times that he loves kids, and you could see it with Sophie too, he was a born-to-be father. He had told in interviews before too that he want to have at least three kids, he wants a big family. Till this point you always tried to avoid this topic, because you knew it well that he won’t like your answer. And it’s a delicate topic for you two. Either way you knew it that one day you have to talk about it, and you were so scared that it will change the whole dynamic of your relationship. You were frightened how he will take it, or what his decision will be. You knew that you can’t force him, if he wants to go you need to let him go, he can’t “waste” his time with someone who can’t give that one thing that he really wants.
“ And you Charles, have you thought that at the age of twenty five you will have a three years old?” His little brother jumped over the back of the carpet and sat down now next to you.
“ Three years ago I was a dumb ass twenty two years old, who was jumping from girl to girl. '' He looked at you, you just smiled and shook your head. You knew he was talking about that date you have had three years ago. “ Who knows, maybe if things were different now I would be a married man and have a beautiful little girl with the same green eyes as Y/N.” He winked at you and the smile froze on your face as you were staging back at him. Tearing your gaze at him and looked down at your glass in your hand, you were unable to look into his eyes.
“What about you Y/N” Arthur leaned closer to you, nudging your right shoulder a little with his left shoulder. “ Have you thought about when you want to marry and have kids?”
“ About marriage yes, kids no.”
“ You don’t want kids?” Arthur asked back
“ Can we talk about this later?” You looked at him as more of his friends were closer to you than before. You really did not want to have this conversation with him, when others were around you, just because you don’t know how he will react if he will hear it. “ I think I’ll fill up my glass again, if you excuse me.” You got up and walked down the small stairs all the way to the kitchen, grabbing the neck of the wine bottle and tried to pull the cork out of it. It was stuck.
“ Let me help you. “ An arm stretched over our arm taking the bottle out of your hand, and pull out the cork easily. “Why did you run away that quickly? Sorry if Arthur was asking it that way, sometimes his English needs a little morphing on it. He did not want to come out as rude.” Charles took the glass out of your hand too and filled it with wine.
“ It was not Arthur. He did nothing wrong, he was just asking questions, being curious. He is a lovely kid, really. It was about the topic.”
“ About marriage? Please, I did not pop this topic up because I want to rush something with you. I’m sorry if it came out like this..” He was rambling and scratching the back of his neck. You smiled and grabbed both of his hands which made him stop and look at you. You were standing quietly for a few seconds looking at each others eyes, his eyes were wondering around you face, studying your feature. Hoping he may find it what can be the problem.
“ Charles, I thought we could talk about this later, maybe more private but I think it's better if we just get over it now. Because I think this is going to be a dealbreaker for you, and it’s been consuming me for months now. I just did not want to talk about this over Facetime while you are on the other side of the planet.”
“ You know that you can tell me everything. And you have been honest with always, so please go on.”
“ I was not intimidated by the topic of our conversation, however one topic is sensitive for me. Marriage is always a thing that most girls dream of even in their childhood. I was dreaming about it, and still I hope that one day I will say that “ I do” at the altar with someone who is the love of my life. Although starting a family is something that I don’t dream about. “You stepped away and hopped on the kitchen counter. ”When I was sixteen I wanted to have kids, even if I can only have one, but now at the age of twenty eight, no I don’t. And I have,sorry let me correct myself. We have Sophie too. And it’s magical, I love her with all of my heart, but I’m not able to have kids. And it’s nothing connected to my career, because I have got this one before, because I’m way too career driven or whatever bullshit that I have got from other people before. That’s not true, it’s just that I’m infertile.” You took a sip from your glass before continuing. “ I was sixteen when I had an operation, which led to the point that I can’t have kids.” You finished with your monologue and waited a few seconds before dared to look up from your glass at him. He was still standing there, looking at you with no expression on his face. Just staring at you. You swallowed thickly,you felt anxious spread though your body, your worst nightmare was about to erupt. “ It’s shocking, I know. And not something that you just expected, or wanted to ever hear. Also I could not keep it as a secret anymore. Although I want you to know that you are free, I’m not tying you down, not gonna force you.You decide on your own, and I won’t be mad. All I’m asking to be honest with me, if you are feeling that this is something you don’t want just tell me. I can’t let it happen again, I can’t just wake up one day and get to know that I’m cheated on, because I can’t give you what most of the women can. If you want to break things off with me, tell me. We can take care of Sophie, and act civil at the same time. “ You whipped the tears away that were falling freely on your cheeks. “I’m so sorry Charles.” You whispered. He was still standing still at the entrance of the kitchen, not saying a word. Defeated, you jumped down from the counter, you knew he needed some time to process everything. You went around the counter. “If you need time, I get it. I won’t rush you. If you want to stay alone, I can go back to your mother's house as long as you need it.
“Y/N!” He cleared his throat and called after you on your way on the stairs. “ I won’t walk away, I won’t fuck up this time. I promised it. I just need some time”
“You won’t fuck up everything, I’ll wait for you. You smiled at him painfully and turned and walked back to the group, while picking up the bag. “ Hey Pascale. Can I sleep at your place with Sophie?” You touched her shoulder, making her focus on you as you asked. Worry ran through her face, before she smiled at you nodding.
“Do you think that it’s a good idea?” You asked Pierre as you made your way down the hallway of their motorhome. “We haven’t really talked in like three days now.” You were anxious about this idea, but Pierre was determined.
“Please, he has been a mess. Not because of what you have talked about, but that he does not have you in his life.” He wrapped his arm around your shoulder as Sophie was sitting on his other arm. “And he was the one who got the tickets. So he wanted you here. Go, get changed, I have everything in my room and I’ll see you girls outside.” He kissed the top of your head just before handing over the toddler.
“Oh Soph, remember when we talked about boys? “ You looked at the beautiful little girl sitting on the small couch in the Alpine driver’s room after you both changed your clothes.
She was beaming and clapping her hands on the sofa wearing the small ferrari coat which had the number 16 on the back and the paddock princess sign on the front. You picked up the girl from the couch and turned to the mirror checking out your matching outfit. You walked out of the room to the garage, fixing the headphones on Sophie when she pointed her little finger to one of the big screens of the garage.
“Daddy!” She screamed making you whip your head to the way where she was pointing seeing that they had Charles’s interview on the screen.
“Baby, yes that’s daddy.” You kissed the top of her head. This was the first time he called him dad, you wished that he could hear it too, because he would be on cloud nine by now. You watched the race from Pierre’s garage, and moved with the crowd out to the park fermé once it was over. You watched as the two Ferrari drivers were jumping around with their teams hugging each other, celebrating that both of their drivers finished on the podium. Pierre walked to his friend and pat him on the shoulder before pulled him closer to his body for a hug.
“They are here waiting for you.” He winked and pointed at him as he walked backwards to his team. Charles tore the helmet off his head with his balaclava and scanned through the crowd.
“Daddy!” He whipped his head to the right seeing one of the most important thing in his life running all the way to him with a huge smile on her little face. He crouched down and opened his arms letting the little girl jump in his embrace. He held the back of her head as he hid his face in her neck.
“Hi baby.” He whispered into her neck. “Where is mommy?” He pulled her little body away from him, studying the face of the little girl. She turned in his arms pointing to their right. There you were, standing in the corner, hugging your own body, in the same red jacket looking at them as tears were rolling down on your beautiful cheeks. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, the most beautiful thing in his life that meant the world to him. The person who he had the last thing in his mind before falling asleep and the first thing in his mind when he woke up everyday, the person who was raising a child with him, having a family. The person who he was head over heels in love with. He skipped the distance between the two of you and without another word he grabbed your face and pulled you close for a kiss, that knocked the wind out of your lungs.
“You are that person who I want to raise this little girl, watch her to be a teen and then an adult. You two are my family, and you are the love of my life. I have had to realise in the past three days that I already have everything I need in my life. A beautiful girl, who I can raise with the most incredible woman in the world who I’m head over heels in love with. My only question would be. Are you still in this with me?” He was studying your face, caressing your cheeks with his thumb. His eyes were shining under the fluorescent light, you have never seen his eyes more beautiful before.
“We agreed and signed it a year ago to raise this little angel together. It’s just a bonus if I can show you how much I can love you too.” You smiled at him. “I love you so much.” You whispered on his lips just as he pulled you closer for another deep kiss, without caring about the world around you. All it mattered was the three of you, your little family.
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