#Computer Shop Victoria

[pjisskullourful]

𝘁𝗿𝗶𝗽𝗹𝗲 𝘀𝗵𝗼𝘁

☕ Ethan × Victoria × reader

NSFW🔥 kinky action to the power of 3!

° Ethan Torchio/Victoria De Angelis/female reader insert

° Ethan has been your favourite café customer for ages, you’re secretly interested in him. one day he brings bestie Victoria in with him & her forwardness brings out more from your friendship

wordcount:::    9,117

° anon request:  i love the way you write smut 😩 and to be honest, it always turns me on. can i ask something, would you write victoria x reader x ethan? 🙃 ° HAPPY PRIDE🏳️‍🌈noone in this fic is heterosexual ° thankyou to everyone who voted for this to be brought out of the vault 💋

° [ITA]:  molto bene: very good

“...and some caramel sauce, but can you make sure that gets drizzled on the inside of the cup please?”

You paused from hitting the button on the touchscreen to add this ingredient to the order and you looked up at the blonde woman standing on the other side of the counter. She visibly cringed, her pretty face twisting into a grimace and it looked like she wanted to walk away. “I know, it’s so extra. But it’s not for me, it’s for my friend and he is-...”

“Wait, is it Ethan?” You asked, smiling.

“Yeah, but how did you know that? I swear I hadn’t said his name yet…”

You laughed, shrugging this off. “He lives next door, we see him literally every day, sometimes multiple times a day. He’s so nice and you always remember the nice ones and their orders.” 

You were grinning as you checked over the requested drink, it looked exactly as it should - a white mocha with a triple shot of espresso (there wasn’t any button on the computer to indicate his preference for two shots to go on the top with the last one separated to the bottom of the cup, but you had made the specific drink so many times that it would be impossible to forget), made with almond milk, served extra hot and with the caramel drizzle on the inside of the cup, not just added to the top of the drink. You didn’t divulge to his friend that you had this order memorised because, ever since the first second you had seen him walking into the café, you had felt a deep need to impress him. She didn’t need to know that you always remembered serving him because he was the highlight of each day.

“And what can I get for you, hun?”

“Just a caffe latte.”

You had this added to the order with one tap of your finger. “What name can I put that under?”

“Victoria.”

You grabbed a second coffee cup sleeve, scribbling her name down as you wondered why you hadn’t seen her in here before. In the six months that Ethan had been living in the apartment building directly next to the coffee shop, he had never been accompanied by anyone during his extremely regular visits. You were certain that you would have remembered Victoria, she was effortlessly stylish in her red flannel shirt, smokey black and grey pigments applied around her eyes to bring out their natural blue all the more.

“I’ll get started on those for you right now.”

Before you could stop yourself, you were dotting the I’s in her name with two love hearts - a completely unnecessary flair that you didn’t typically add to a customer's cup. 

Some of the other baristas had to apply extra focus when they were making Ethan’s drink, the method not coming as naturally to them as other standard orders. But it had become automatic to you, just like fixing the locks into place on the back door when you were the last to leave at night.

And so your mind wandered, not too far - over to where Victoria was standing, looking at the display shelves of prepackaged gift boxes. You instantly wanted to know more about her, your eyes darting up whenever possible, greedily drinking in the details of her outfit and all of the antique-style jewellery she wore. Who was she thinking of as she considered the different selections of boxes? Surely, a partner, there was no chance of someone as attractive as her being single. She would be sharing those chocolates with a boyfriend, or burning the artisan scented candles in anticipation of a visit from her girlfriend.

“Victoria?” You called out and she looked up, instantly showing you a wide smile.

She reached out for the two drinks. “Thanks. I was gonna ask if you wanted me to say hi or anything to Ethan, but I feel like this lovely drawing says it all…” She said of the quick cartoon cock you had drawn.

You felt your cheeks heating. “Yeah, don’t worry- he’ll know what it means.”

“Awesome. See ya later.”

You spent too long watching her leave, your eyes taking in the sight of her tight black jeans, going down to the rainbow shoelaces that decorated her Doc Martens. By the time you came back to Earth, the next customer at the front of the line was looking at you impatiently, arms folded over their chest.

“Hi, what can I get ya?”

--- --- ---

Your response from Ethan came in the form of a direct message via Instagram (you didn’t have his phone number, you hadn’t had the courage to ask for it and he hadn’t offered it). It wasn’t the first message you had received from him - the two of you shared memes back-and-forth or he would tell you he was reminded of you when out at a bar and a Backstreet Boys song came on (your ultimate guilty pleasure, he had learnt that when you were in charge, you would play the boy band over the café speakers all day long). There were times when you thought he was flirting with you, never certain if you were reading between the lines to find what you wanted.

This message could not be slipped into that classification, his intentions of having a purely platonic joke with you were clear.

There’s a dick drawn on my cup.

You were standing by yourself, enjoying your lunch-break cigarette in the shady area beside the coffee shop. You were laughing as you started to type your response.

New phone. Who dis?

I'm going to go FULL Karen next time I'm in there. He threatened. Tell your manager to start preparing now.

Karen Torchio, I am so terrified.

--- --- ---

"M'lady…"

You looked up from wiping a table clean, finding Ethan approaching you. "M'Ethan." You responded in your typical fashion, even crossing one ankle over the other to bob down into a curtsey. 

It wasn’t unusual for him to pop into the coffee shop later in the day - looking for a five pm caffeine fix because he kept hours that would only seem regular to a vampire. He would need a kick to get him ready for a gig or rehearsal with the band.

More than once, one afternoon coffee had stretched out with the two of you chatting, him keeping you company through the mundane tasks of closing the café. Before you knew it, the floors would be mopped and all of the machines were cleaned without you having a chance to become bored by the tedious activity. He would always help you carry the trash out, never complaining about the stench. He would walk you to the bus stop, waiting with you under the dim street light and waving you off into the night. 

“Oh, hi again.” You said to Victoria. “Same as before?”

“Actually, can I get tea this time- peppermint?” She asked.

He made a face. “Ugh, you and your hot toothpaste water.”

“While you keep making fun of me over this, we’ll see who gets to make-out with more girls- coffee-and-ashtray-mouth Torchio, or fresh-and-minty De Angelis.”

“I’ve never had any complaints.” He said, pulling up a chair to one of the available tables.

You returned back to behind the counter, typing the order of one peppermint tea and one very specific mocha into the till. The peak hours of the coffee shop were well and truly over for the day - there were only two other tables occupied. It was time to let some of the tension roll off of your shoulders, time to start thinking about what you would make yourself for dinner. There would be no more noisy and crowded moments, the most you expected were some school kids ordering their favourite sugar-filled drinks on their way home.

You could quickly prepare the order of the two friends, carefully carrying the full mugs over to their table. You set the tea down first, then the coffee in front of Ethan. “No dicks this time, Karen- does that make ya happy?”

He took an exaggerated pause, playing at needing time to think this over. “It’s an improvement, but I’m not gonna delete my negative Facebook review, not yet.”

“Hey, can I ask you a question?” Victoria asked, blinking up at you curiously and you saw him raise a hand, half-covering his face. “It’s kind of personal.”

“Vic…” He sighed heavily. “You can’t just ask her about this- she’s at work and you literally met her five seconds ago.”

“What?” She asked defensively and you looked between the two of them, your mind racing as you saw him squirm in a way you weren’t used to. “I said: can I ask, do you see that distinction? It’s not like I just came right out and said it, she doesn’t have to answer, that’s why I phrased it as a request, not a demand.” She held a finger up, tapping it in midair to emphasise each syllable of the next word. “Dis-tinc-tion.”

You tucked your hands into the back pockets of your jeans, feeling uncertain of what you were about to walk into. “Right, do you wanna just ask it?”

She gave him one last smug look before looking up at you, batting her eyelashes a little. “Are you gay?” Now the rest of his face disappeared behind his other hand. 

You nodded, even as your cheeks filled with a natural and bright blush. This wasn’t the kind of conversation you usually had with a customer and you certainly hadn’t shared this revelation with Ethan before. It was clear this was something the two of them had discussed, but you could only wonder for how long or why it would appeal to them as anything of interest.

“Yeah, well, if you wanna get specific or whatever- bisexual.”

She grinned, raising her eyebrows as she looked back at him. “I told you. You need to stop questioning my gaydar.”

“How did you know, am I flaming back there without even realising?” You asked.

She giggled, the way that she was so pleased with herself was infectious. “No, no, nothing like that. But when I was in here before, there was a Tegan and Sara song playing and, whether on purpose or not, you were singing along, every single word.”

“Is that the same as gaydar?” He asked.

She dismissed this with a quick flick of her hand. “Irregardless, I was correct.” She gave you a subtle wink. “Thanks babe.”

You stepped back, prepared to walk away and at least pretend to be a productive employee. But you paused. “You are too, right? I mean, you’ve got the rainbow laces and the flannel, and you knew the song well enough to know it was Tegan and Sara…”

“Okay, well now I really have to get your phone number. Finally, someone who can match my gaydar.” She said, a look of awe on her face.    

You hesitated, for some reason, your eyes going to Ethan. You were used to women being far more upfront and bold with their advances, but this was by far the most confidently anyone had ever asked for your number. It was so cocky that you assumed this must be a joke - no one was this level of self-assured.

But she had grabbed a napkin out of the dispenser and was very purposefully pushing it across the table, to where you were standing. 

“Sheesh, don’t let Karen over here see me handing my phone number out to customers.” You said, attempting a joke to remove the awkward feeling that was currently stuck in the back of your throat. “He might update his review to include a bit about how this is a family café, not some sort of lesbian hook-up zone.”

“Anywhere can be a lesbian hook-up zone so long as you’ve got courage.” She said.

“Oh molto bene.” He said, the sarcasm thick. “Tell me, are there still tickets available for your TED Talk?”

She poked her tongue out at him. She picked up the napkin as soon as you were finished writing, folding it and tucking it into her pocket immediately. “Maybe if you lost the attitude, I would put you on my guest list.”

"Okay, holler if you need anything else."

Neither of them opposed you leaving and you got back to work - close to entirely distracted at this point. You couldn't keep yourself from glancing in their direction, especially when you heard Victoria's loud laugh.

More than once, you looked across in time to find Ethan staring at you while she was talking. Was it too presumptuous, too narcissistic to think they were talking about you?

You felt shy under his gaze and you couldn't properly recognise him in this moment. You weren't sure how to act while there was so much hanging in the space between the two of you.

You endeavoured to keep your distance (this seemed like the best option until you could remember how to treat him as your friend again). 

After about an hour, your last remaining co-worker was leaving and all of the other customers had left. You were completely alone with Victoria and Ethan.

“More toothpaste water?” You asked, approaching the table where they showed no signs of readying themselves for an exit.

“No, thanks.”

“Do you want us to clear out so you can clean in peace?” He asked.

“No, it’s fine, you can stay.” You said, collecting their empty cups. “So, what are you two up to tonight- some combination of raid, pillage, plunder and otherwise pilfer your guts out?”

“No, but that’s what we should do.” She answered excitedly.

“There’s a bar down the road that allegedly makes the best lychee cocktails in the whole world and our friend just won’t shut up about it and how much we need to try it- so, that was what we were planning to do, for a start, at least.”

You forgot about needing to wash the mugs, instead energetically jumping on to his train of thought. “No, they really are the best, though. It’s this new bartender they’ve hired. And on Fridays they do this deal where you can get a whole pitcher so fuckin’ cheap.”

“It’s Friday today…” He said.

“You should come with us.” She said, smiling up at you. “Unless you have other plans.”

“Oh, but I do.” You said. “I’ve got some leftover soup waiting for me in the refrigerator and then I get to do about a million loads of laundry.”

“Uh-huh, but after that?” He asked.

“I’d love to.”

— — —

“Would you stop fuckin’ looking at me like that?” You burst out.

Ethan finished lighting the cigarette that was already between your lips, the expression on his face reminding you of a puppy. You knew you should have felt bad for this, but the three cocktails you had consumed were making you feel bolder than usual.

Spirits had been high since the three of you had met up again at the familiar bar. You felt good in the outfit you had selected and he was being very generous in how many cigarettes from his pack he was sharing with you. Victoria was so easy to talk and joke with - it was as if you had already known her for ages, with the conversation getting louder as more of the second pitcher of the fruity cocktail was consumed.

But there was clearly something on his mind - regularly, he was the first person to stop laughing at any jokes and when you looked in his direction, more than once, you had been struck by how serious his expression was. He always looked serious, his default expression was that of someone on the verge of making a sombre life decision.

It was more than that tonight and you could feel that it had the potential to kill your mood. Something was keeping him preoccupied and it worried you.

“Like what?”

Victoria had disappeared in search of the ladies room, so it was just you and he tucked away in the corner of the smokers area. This seemed like the best time to confront him and give him a chance to get whatever was bothering him off of his chest.

“Like you’re over there trying to divide two-hundred and thirty-two by thirteen and you wanna ask me for help, but you don’t know if you should, or something.”

He laughed at that, the creases of concern leaving his forehead. “That is very specific.” He lit a cigarette for himself. “What makes you think that I don’t know how to solve that equation? Do you think that just because this is such a pretty face that I’ve got nothin’ going on in here?” He tapped his right temple.

“You’re dodging my question.” You said humorlessly.

He smiled as he took a drag of his cigarette. "I know and I'm doing a great job of it."

You scowled and got up from your stool, taking the step over to where he was sitting. You swatted at his shoulder a few times. "Stop it. I want you to talk to me." You continued to play-slap him, your wrists limp and flailing. "And if you don't, I'll be forced to give you the thrashing of a lifetime."

He furrowed his brow at you. "What? Hey, cut that out."

"Resistance is futile."

He gestured to the space behind you. "Your chair has just walked off."

"Huh?" You whipped around, finding that your barstool had been taken and relocated by another smoker. "Oh, sonofa…"

"Here, have mine. I'm not gonna make you stand in those heels, especially not after you were at work all day."

You put a determined hand to his chest, managing to stop him as he made as if to get up. "Actually, I have a better idea." Before he could question you any further, you placed yourself in his lap, crossing your legs and coming incredibly close to his face. "Okay, now resistance is futile. Talk."

He didn't start speaking immediately, instead he just looked at you, his surprise evident. You took a drag from your cigarette, wondering what it would take to get him to start talking.

You were aware that this level of closeness was beyond the familiarity the two of you had established. He didn't have anywhere to hide and neither did you, now you had to confront what was lying under the surface. You did your best to get comfortable, draping an arm over his shoulder, but there was a sense of restraint, caused by your uncertainty over how pleased he was with this.

"What's going on?"

"It's nothing." He said, his brow furrowed once more as he took a drag of his cigarette. "Well, it's kinda awkward." He rested his hand at the small of your back.

"I- well, it's- you and I have- and I…" He sighed, scratching at his head. "I didn't expect that Victoria would ask for your number so quickly." He shook his head to himself. "I shouldn't be surprised, she's always been quick on the draw, especially when it comes to picking up gorgeous women. But this- this might just be a…"

"Hang on, hang on for a second- you just called me gorgeous."

"I've told you that you're gorgeous before."

"Nope. I mean, you've complimented me before, sure and you always tell me that you like my hair when it's freshly coloured. But…" You smiled, taking a drag of your cigarette, watching him. "...you think I'm gorgeous?"

"Of course I do. Are you kidding?" He said. "I'm sorry that I hadn't told you- you're the kind of woman who deserves compliments all the time. But then, I worry about being creepy and putting you in an uncomfortable spot 'cause I'm a customer, so you have to be nice to me and-"

Sitting in this semi-private corner, your body close to his, a nice buzz from the alcohol - you felt bold enough to act, to step over the old boundary line. You put your hand to his cheek, getting his attention as he breathed out another cloud of smoke. As you leaned in closer, he watched, his brow furrowed.

You kissed him, finding no resistance. Instead he sought to deepen the kiss, lips parting until you were fully indulging in his taste. It was warm and wonderful, making your heart soar, reminding you of how a compliment from him could change your day, could make you forget about any annoying customers. Reminding you of how a smile from him made it worth getting out of bed and going to work.

You were smiling, holding your eyes shut even as the two of you parted. It didn't matter how loud the music was, you were close enough to hear the heavy, trembling exhale as it fell from his lips.

"I think you're gorgeous too." You bumped your nose against his, very tempted by the idea of kissing him again. "You and your ridiculous coffee order. You and your shy smile whenever you catch my eye over the room. You and your concerned little frown lines when I tell you that I've been having a bad day. You and your absolutely bizarre sense of humour, sending me the most niché memes known to man. I think it's all so gorgeous."

When you opened your eyes, you found your new favourite of his smiles on his face. It was small, but so honest, reaching his eyes without showing any teeth. It was the calm look of a man comfortable with the decision your lips had just made. It made you want to kiss him again, because you had the feeling that he would kiss you back.

"So, why didn't you tell me sooner?" He asked.

You giggled, a crinkle forming on the bridge of your nose as you took a drag from your cigarette. "I was trying to play it cool. How was I supposed to know you felt the same? Imagine how awkward it would be if I had tried to hit on you, and you could only say something like, you're a great girl. And then we would have to keep seeing one another, everytime you wanted a coffee, this awkward dark cloud over us. That's nightmare material."

His hand had started to caress your thigh. "Well I wouldn't want to be the fuel of anything but pleasant dreams for you. But it is still kinda awkward, 'cause I think Victoria likes you and…"

"I think I like her too." You said, eyes still lingering back down to his lips. "You don't think that you can be attracted to two people at once?"

"I can't say that it's ever happened to me. But that doesn't mean it's not possible." He was still rubbing your leg.

"You've never experimented with two people at the same time?"

"That's not what I said."

You were smirking to yourself, watching him and the way he worried over his bottom lip. "So, what are you saying?"

He was shaking his head a little as he took another drag from his cigarette, another thoughtful look on his face. "I don't- what do you think I'm saying?"

You laughed, his deflecting was cute, but you were keen to get to the point. The two of you had been dancing around this for far too long and you were in a different setting, now you could be different versions of the people who saw each other almost daily. "Well, I- uh…" You cleared your throat, feeling how hot your cheeks were. "I'm not sure how you pronounce it, or anything. But…" His hand was so warm and firm on your leg, taking full advantage of the short dress you were wearing. "I believe it’s ménage à trois, right?"

"Right." He said, before laughing again and you joined him, marveling at how far you had progressed from what was typical. This conversation would have seemed ridiculous, out of place, only hours before. But somehow the two of you were navigating into this new territory together.

"What's so funny?" Victoria was sidling up to where you were sitting and you felt your cheeks get even hotter.

"She's teaching me some French." He said, suddenly not lost for words.

You shoved his shoulder as he laughed. You rolled your eyes before looking over to her. "It's not-"

"French kissing?" She asked. "'Cause it looks like you two are wearing the same shade of lipstick all of a sudden." She rested an arm at his shoulder. "Or is that just the lighting?"

He didn't rush to wipe his lips free of the dark shade, he didn't even try to hide his mouth behind his hand. "It wasn't especially French. But I mean, what's the classification for all of that?"

"French words." You clarified for her. "Ménage à trois…"

She smiled, giving a knowing nod. "Well, he already knows that phrase pretty well…" Her smile turned smug as she poked his cheek. "Don't you, honey?"

"Vic…" 

She stood up a little straighter. "Had you not gotten-"

"No, I had not quite gotten to that part yet." He said, almost scowling at her. "I was working my way up to that."

She rolled her eyes. "Always working your way up to somethin'..."

You put your hand to his wrist and pushed his hand down somewhat. "Hang on, I feel like I'm picking up on something and I could be way off here, so please correct me if I'm wrong. But have you two done this before?"

"Yeah."

He half-covered his face. "Subtlety Vic, can you please Google it?"

"What? She asked, so I answered." She said. "There's nothing wrong with being forward."

"She's right." You said, wrapping your fingers around his.

"Maybe if you were more forward and ditched the whole shy guy routine, you wouldn't need a wing-woman."

"No, I like the shy guy stuff." You said before meeting her gaze. "And I also like the wing-woman."

She smiled and moved in a bit closer. You couldn't help but follow the motion of her tongue sliding across and wetting her lips. She put her hand over your bare knee and you leaned forward.

Her hand went to the side of your face to draw you in those last few inches until you were close enough to kiss. You pressed your lips to hers, your heart racing as the aroma of her perfume filled your nostrils. Her soft fingers caressed your skin as the rest of the bar seemed to fade away for the moment. You leaned into her as she gently sucked on your lower lip.

Before you could open your mouth and invite her in deeper, she was gently pulling back. At once you were swarmed with a yearning for more, slowly opening your eyes to see her grinning at you.

“The wing-woman likes you too, babe.” She said.

You glanced at Ethan and saw that he was smiling as well - but not in a shy way that you were accustomed to seeing. Nor did it appear to be forced for your benefit. You were convinced that he was just as comfortable as you, invested in this increasingly-exciting encounter.

You readjusted how you were sitting in his lap, continuing to enjoy the feeling of his hands on your body. You had mostly forgotten about the cigarette between your fingers, not rushing to return it to your mouth.

“But you two aren’t…?” You trailed off, gesturing between the two friends as a means to complete this question.

She gave her head a little shake. “No, it’s not even a friends with benefits situation. More like partners in crime…”

“Yeah, ‘cause conveniently we have the exact same taste in women.” He said.

“Sometimes guys.” She added.

“That sounds like a pretty great set-up.” You said.

Her smile had a mischievous quality to it. “We know how to have fun.”

“So, is there some sort of routine that you stick with, like do you always take people back to your place, or is it your place?” You asked.

“No, it’s not this choreographed thing.” He said, ready to give you a full explanation. “It’s more in the moment. We go to whoever’s house is closest, and what the third is most comfortable with, you know.”

She cleared her throat loudly. “Honey, this is when that subtlety thing you love so much doesn’t really work out.”

“Huh?”

She showed you a knowing smile as you took a drag from your cigarette. “She’s asking us to take her home.”

He looked at you, eyes wide and eyebrows raised. “You are?”

“I am.” You said with a confident nod.

“Well- I think, um… If that’s what you wanna do… ‘cause I would really-...” He trailed off, clearing his throat before trying a different approach. “My house is literally down the road.”

You licked your lips and grinned. “I know.”

“Thank God you like the shy guy stuff.” She said. “But this is shyer than usual, you’re having an extra affect on him, like-...”

“Two choices here, Vic- you shut up or I make you pay for it later.” He cut in.

— — — 

Ethan’s apartment was just as neat and well-organised as you had always imagined it would be (and you had imagined it. Sometimes you tried to picture him in his ‘natural habitat’, other times you wondered what it would be like to go home with him.)

But you didn’t get to see much of it - there was no time for a tour of the space when you had both he and Victoria whisking you away to the master bedroom. Their intentions were clear and even though you had never done anything like this before, it was easy to follow their lead.

Once in the bedroom, Ethan let his hand drop from yours so that he could pay her some more attention. He joined her at the foot of the large bed and you saw the two friends share a smile. She initiated the kiss as he pulled her to him.

He wrapped his arms around her petite body and lifted, getting her off of the floor. Then he tossed her backwards, with as little effort as if she were a ragdoll. She landed on the bed with a grin on her face and instantly set about getting comfortable.

You put a hand on his shoulder as you stepped closer to where he stood. “My turn?”

He bent down, placing his arm behind your knees so that he could scoop you off the floor. You felt entirely steady as he straightened up, carrying you into the air.

For an exhilarating moment, you weightlessly flew, expertly thrown away from his body. It happened so quickly that you didn’t have any time to register fear. Instead, your trust remained intact and you just had fun. You were also smiling when your back hit the mattress. Victoria moved in closer to you and slid her hand across your middle.

“Two gorgeous women in my bed…” He said, his tone full of awe.

She looked over her shoulder to where he stood. “What are you gonna do about it, honey?”

"Whatever our guest is comfortable with." He said, starting to undo the buttons on his shirt.

"Oh don't worry about me. Currently I am very comfortable." You said, taking in the sight of his bare torso and feeling your heart beat harder. "Very, very comfortable." 

She sat up and leaned forward, slowly crawling across the mattress to him. "What does my nasty boy wanna do, hm? Should I get the box from under the bed, is that what kind of mood you're in?"

"Maybe." He said, his eyes appearing darker in this moment as he looked at her. "Maybe I'm in the mood for some pegging."

"Really? God, you know how much I love pegging you…"

"Yes, I do know." He said, bending down until he could capture her lips in a kiss.

As he kissed her, she put her hands to the buckle of his belt. She took this off of him as they separated from the kiss, she tossed the accessory away. Then she was moving, climbing off the mattress in pursuit of this box.

This left Ethan to place all of his attention on you. He brought his knees down to the mattress, starting to move toward you, his eyes fixed on you as the target. You licked your lips, staring back just as intently. His hand began on your ankle, travelling upwards as he came in closer.

"Let's get you out of this dress, yeah?"

"Yeah." You eagerly responded.

You moved your hands up to his face, your fingers caressing his skin and you licked your lips. Tilting your head to the side, you initiated the kiss. His warmth engulfed you as he wrapped his arms around you, his hands moving to your back. He found the zipper of your tartan dress, pulling this down. He eased the fabric away from your skin, letting it pool around your waist.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, starting to tease your tongue at his lips. He was busy unclasping your bra, moving the lingerie aside. Then he wrapped his arms around you and relaxed his jaw, sinking into this deeper embrace with you. You pushed your bare chest flush to his, enjoying the feel of his firm hands grasping your back.

Victoria's hand collided with his butt with a loud smack, interrupting your flow. He pulled back, glancing over his shoulder. She had removed all of her clothing, revealing a pierced nipple. 

Aside from a smirk, the only thing that she wore was a harness-style belt, with straps that wrapped securely around her upper-thighs. Her hands were full - a black dildo in one and a bottle of lubricant in the other.

"Pants off, honey."

She rejoined you on the bed as he moved away. She placed the objects down, emptying her hands before starting to kiss you. Both of you let your hands explore, with you caressing her neck and shoulders. Her hands travelled up your sides, squeezing as you arched your back into her.

You were breathless, keeping your eyes shut as her kisses started to move down your neck. You let your fingers play through her silky hair as she kissed across your collarbone. Your nipples were hard before her mouth reached this area, her lips wrapping around one of the stiff peaks. You moaned when she started to suck, you were too turned on to contain yourself or feel inhibited.

Your eyes fluttered open, finding where Ethan was standing. Your eyes bulged as you looked at him now that he was naked. Your throat clenched and you found yourself looking at the largest dick you had ever seen.

"Oh my God." You could hardly get the words out.

This got Victoria's attention. She sat up, following your line of sight. "You've never seen one that big before, eh?"

You shook your head, your mouth feeling dry. "Um, only in porn."

"Yeah, I was the same the first time we fucked." She said while he patiently waited at the end of the bed. "But it's okay, he's really gentle when he needs to be and he makes it feel so good."

"I've just never had one that big before…" You said.

"I'm sorry, does it freak you out?" He asked, one hand bashfully moving down.

You instantly shook your head. "No, no, it's not that, it's just…"

"It'll fit." She said, close to your ear. "Don't worry, he knows how to make it fit and once you take it, you're gonna love it."

You finally broke eye-contact with his hardening dick, looking at her smiling face and nodding. "I believe you, I'm just surprised…"

She stroked your hair. "Just relax, babe. We're gonna take really good care of you and make you feel really amazing, okay?"

You drew in a deep breath. "Okay."

"Are you alright if I come over?" He asked.

You looked at him and smiled. "Yes, of course."

He crawled across the bed, his eyes studying your facial expression. "We can start off… let me warm you up a little bit."

Your smile widened and you felt yourself relax some. "Okay."

"I want you to get comfortable on those pillows." He said. "You can lay down, you can rearrange them, you can take your dress off if you like. However you're most comfortable, baby."

You grabbed the fabric around your waist and lifted the dress up, removing it. You parted your legs as you watched him coming closer.

She tucked your hair behind your ear and kissed you on the cheek. "We're gonna make you feel amazing."

You leaned back against the pillows, taking another deep breath. He came in between your legs, leaning down. You snagged your lower lip between your teeth as you watched him remove your underwear.

He started to lay kisses down upon your cunt, with your belly filling with butterflies in response. His lips moved slowly as he thoroughly discovered this area.

Victoria leaned in, placing her hand to the back of your head. She guided you in for more kisses. You let her tongue tease your lips apart as the two of you settled into a decadent rhythm. You wrapped an arm around her shoulders, holding her naked body to yours as her tongue explored the inside of your mouth.

He put both of his hands against the insides of your thighs, gently pushing so as to part your legs even further. Then he moved lower and the tip of his tongue found your slicked entrance. Your whimper was muffled by her lips and you put your hand to his head, a silent encouragement.

His tongue dipped inside of you and your body swarmed with a lovely warmth. She pulled away but you kept your eyes shut. You lazily twisted some of the strands of his hair around your fingers as his tongue worked between your inner-walls.

There was a smile on your face as your eyes fluttered open, curious of what the other woman was doing. Looking to your side, you found that she had attached the dildo to her belt, affixing it at her crotch. She moved away from you, her eyes travelling down his naked body.

She moved down the mattress, taking the bottle of lube with her. She held her index and middle fingers out, then squeezed some of the product onto the extended digits.

Ethan whined into your pussy as she began to play with his hole. He rubbed his tongue harder against the inside of your cunt. She worked at coating his hole in the lubricant, easing her fingertips inside.

She squirted more of the lube out, this time applying it to her temporary phallus. His tongue was moving faster inside of you as his anticipation grew, flicking up-and-down.

She smacked his butt again and he pulled back, moaning. "Are you ready for my cock, nasty boy?"

He nodded. "Mm-hmm, but I… it makes sense for- if we- if I'm inside of you first…" He gestured to you. "And then you can put it in me." He gestured to her. When he looked back at you, it was with wide eyes. "Do you think we can try? We don't have to if you don't feel…"

You leaned forward and took one of his hands in yours. "I want to."

"What a good girl." She practically purred.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes." You said, giving his hand a squeeze. "I want you to fuck me, I'm sure."

"Just let me grab a condom." He said.

She came back over to sit next to you, rubbing your arm. You could feel the swarm of butterflies in your tummy, but you returned the smile that she showed you.

After applying the condom to his erection, he returned to place himself directly in front of you. You leaned in, kissing him and moving your hand up to his cheek. He wrapped an arm around your waist as he filled the space in between your legs. He leaned his body weight into you, easing you against the headboard of his bed.

Your body pulsed with anticipation as he repositioned his legs, pressing his hips to yours. You wrapped your arms around his broad shoulders, holding him to you.

Your cunt was fluttering as the head of his dick began to stretch you open. He moved slowly, gradually filling more of you. Your arms tightened around him as you had a moment of reminding yourself that this was actually (and finally) happening. You broke the kiss, keeping your eyes shut to savour this closeness.

And he was still getting closer.

“Do you feel good, babe?” Victoria asked.

“Yes.” You breathed, turning to look at her.

She captured your lips in a kiss as he worked deeper inside of you.

He stopped with a heavy sigh, and you were full. Your body buzzed with all of the anticipation, thrilled to discover what would come next.

She parted from you, leaving you licking your lips. He was looking between the two of you, watching your intimate exchange with great interest.

She leaned over to him, closing the distance between them. They each began to smile when her nose bumped against his, and then they kissed.

“Are you ready, nasty boy?” She asked.

Words seemed to fail him in his excited state and he just nodded his head. She glanced in your direction (a lustful grin on her face) before moving away. The false phallus swung and bobbed in the air in front of her as she sought a new position. She placed herself behind him, her hands stroking across his bare skin. She sat behind him, her chest pressed to his back as her hands explored the sides of his torso.

She wrapped an arm around his middle while her other hand worked out of sight, directing the dildo to his awaiting hole. He let out a shaky exhale and his eyes became unfocused as the penetration started. You felt him twitching inside of you as she eased the dildo in deeper.

“You like that, honey?” She asked.

“God, yes.” He moaned.

His eyes shut as he tilted his head back, presenting his face to the ceiling. You watched as different muscles in his body tensed and quivered, the pleasure radiating out, poised to ruin him. His breathing deepened and she smiled as she checked his expression, delight sparkling in her eyes.

“Fuck.” He whispered, wiggling his hips a little.

Her arm around him started to relax. “Is that-?”

“It’s fuckin’ perfect.” He quickly affirmed.

“Good boy.” She said, loosely holding onto his hips. “Can I leave some marks on your shoulder here?”

“You’re so tacky.” He said.

“What, since when have hickeys been a crime?” She innocently asked.

“Yeah, I think they’re sexy.” You contributed.

She batted her eyelashes at him. “Are you really gonna say no to both of us?”

“Alright, go ahead.” He admitted defeat.

She maintained eye-contact with you, her light eyes glimmering as she began to place kisses on the skin of his shoulder. At the same time, she adjusted her hold on his hips to something more secure. She held him in place and thrusted forward.

One of his strong arms encircled your waist and he braced himself with a hand on the headboard behind you before he began to move as well. He stroked himself deeper into you and you felt excitement blooming in your chest.

You leaned forward, capturing his lips in a kiss as another buck came from his hips. You kissed him deeply as he began to find a tempo, your pussy stretching around him again-and-again.

His moans vibrated into your mouth and it wasn’t long before his speed increased, becoming confident in his momentum. You arched your back, lengthening the collisions between your bodies as each pump from him awakened more sensitivities in you. Victoria’s huffs of effort accompanied the wet sounds of your mouths working together.

When you parted, he stared you down. He was looking at you differently to how he ever had before - seeing more, seeing deeper than all of those glances across a crowded room could allow. And, amongst all of your whimpers and whines, he didn’t see anything that turned him off, consistently taking you further with every masterful pump.

“You like that, do you feel good?” He asked.

You grinded your hips against his. “I fucking love it.”

Victoria nipped at his earlobe, her body still moving with his. “Now’s not the time to be shy, nasty boy. Tell her that you love it too. ‘Cause I know you do, you’re having the time of your life right now.” She grabbed at a section of his long hair, twisting some of it around her fist to give it a tug. “I bet you’re gonna come so hard for us, aren’t you?”

He turned to look at her. “Why don’t you find out, hm? Make me come.”

She licked her lips and snapped her hips into him faster, skin audibly slapping skin as she set into a more intense tempo. His lips parted, but he didn’t have anymore words to say, he just panted for air as he came into you quicker-and-quicker.

The pressure was building up inside of you, to a level that was almost too much to cope with. You put your mouth to his shoulder (the side untouched by Victoria) and began to kiss, leaving an invisible trail of your spit. Riding the incredible waves of pleasure, you started to suck on his skin. You moaned into his muscle as your body trembled.

With your walls spasming uncontrollably, you shattered at your peak. Your jaw dropped as your strength wholly fled you in one second.

“Yes, ah.” You whispered, starting to peel back from Ethan.

Before you could get too far, he was gripping your body to his, craving more friction between your bodies. He was greedily chasing his own release, unrelenting in his need. You felt like you could be split in half in the face of his impassioned jolting, and she kept surging him on.

“God…” He cried out as your swollen pussy clenched on him.

“C’mon honey.” She said over the sound of his laboured breathing.

His tempo began to suffer, desperately carrying on until he ultimately dissolved into the heights of pleasure.

She could read him, instantly quitting her effort. He leaned forward, resting his head against you, his arm loosening around you. As he shuddered slightly, she withdrew, resting back on her elbows and trying to regain her breath.

Gradually, he pulled away from you and you slumped against the headboard. His fingers caressing your cheek prompted you to open your eyes, finding him studying your expression.

“Are you alright?” He asked.

“Fucking fantastic, that’s how I’d word it.” You said, earning you a smile from him. “Is the wing-woman alright?”

“You two wore me out.” She said.

You leaned in closer to him, whispering into his ear. “You could use this moment to get revenge for those love bites…”

He nodded in understanding, while she remained oblivious. He crawled over to where she lay and began to remove the harness that held the dildo, which she didn’t resist.

He hovered over her, giving her a few kisses. “You can’t be too worn out yet, you haven’t even had your turn. I’m not gonna just leave you out, honey.”

“I’d be an idiot to turn down an offer like that.”

“You just lay there and relax and we’ll take care of you.” He said.

You edged forward, you didn’t know what he had planned - but you knew that you wanted in. “Yeah, we’ll make you feel so fuckin’ good.”

Her eyes darted between the two of you and a smile on her face gave away some of her excitement. He guided her legs apart, rubbing the inside of her thighs with his thumbs. You moved in closer and began to stroke the smooth skin of her leg.

He leaned down, taking his face up to her cunt. She shivered as he exhaled upon the sensitive area. “Hm. You’re looking quite wet, maybe you’ve been ready for your turn for a while.”

He dragged his tongue between her labia and her eyes fluttered shut, with her face taking on a dreamy kind of expression. He then worked his way off to the side, bringing his lips to her thigh. He applied lingering kisses to one, before returning to her crotch. He moved slowly over to the other thigh, then back to the centre, setting into a decadent routine. She lazily stroked her fingers through his hair as he treated her.

“You have a really gorgeous body.” You said, your eyes sweeping up-and-down as you couldn’t help but admire all of her. “And your legs, especially, are very sexy.”

“You think so?” She asked.

“Definitely.” You instantly replied. “It’s probably a testament to the amount of time I’ve spent grinding on thighs that legs can turn me on so much.”

He lifted his head to look at you, showing you the glisten on his lips. “She tastes as good as she looks. Try.”

She nodded and he moved out of the way, offering you the space between her legs. You were fast to reposition yourself, eager to experience this part of her. She watched you and raised one of her hands, stroking your face.

You got down to her cunt, taking in her primal, intimate scent. You placed a kiss to her clitoral hood, letting the little bulb rest against your lips. Then you gave it another kiss. You completed the third kiss by pushing your tongue forward, rubbing it against her, which prompted her to whisper your name.

Beside your head, he began rubbing her thigh. “I don’t think that I’ve ever properly appreciated your legs.”

“Yeah, you’re usually pretty improper.” She teased.

“Now that she’s pointed it out, I’m just noticing how very kissable they are.”

“All of her is very kissable.” You said, briefly breaking contact with her cunt.

He joined you in lying between her legs. She didn’t question his motives, lying relaxed as he began to kiss her bare thighs. You were running your tongue in circles around her clit.

“Can I just say that I love my turn?” She said.

“Enjoy all of the attention, honey.” He said.

As he laid more-and-more kisses on her skin, you opened your mouth and inched your face lower. You placed the tip of your tongue at her entrance, then dragged it up between her folds. As you repeated the motion you were tasting more of her.

You returned your tongue to her entrance, using it to work her open. She cursed under her breath and you felt her body stiffen as you moved your tongue deeper. Your lips were pressed flush to her skin as you used long and slow strokes on her inner-walls. She could hardly contain her whimpers, arching her back.

“Are you…?” She began, sounding as if she were struggling to maintain her focus. “You’re giving me fuckin’ hickeys, aren’t you?”

He released her skin from his mouth. “I thought you said it wasn’t a crime.”

“I should’a known you wouldn’t let… that… go.” Her speech became slower as you returned to playing with her clit. “You’re so damn pett- ah…” You made her whole body jolt as you stuffed two fingers into her cunt. She sputtered wordlessly as you worked both your tongue and fingers on her, feeling her walls start to spasm.

She gave up on her sentence with a huff. When she spoke next, her tone had changed. “Actually, I don’t care. While she’s doing that, you can do whatever you want.”

Along with her laboured breathing, you could hear the sounds of him sucking at her skin as he worked to leave his mark.

Inside of her, you pumped your fingers, setting into a merciless rhythm. All the while, you kept toying with her clit. You felt her walls clench every time you sucked it. The faster you circled it, the louder she got.

The mixture of saliva and cum dripped from your lower lip. Her arousal was blocking out your other senses as you chased different reactions from her.

“Oh, babe.” She whimpered. Her composure was starting to abandon her and her hips stuttered upwards in a desperate, unpredictable fashion. You didn’t let this dislodge you, sticking with your consistently quick pacing. “Fuck.”

It only took a couple more strokes from your fingers to get her over that edge. Her pussy clamped down on you as she whined louder than ever. Her body jerked and twitched uncontrollably as the orgasm overwhelmed her.

You and Ethan sat back at the same time, giving her the space to go limp. She laid mostly still, an occasional flinch happening while she worked to regain her breath.

Without a word, he got up from the bed and walked out of the room, the two of you left to recover in silence. You wiped your mouth with the back of your hand and began to wonder how quickly he would want you out of his home now that the deed was done.

He returned to the bedroom carrying two bottles of water. One was handed to Victoria, the other to you.

He met your eye as he sat down, then he slightly bowed his head. “M’lady…”

You grinned. “M’Ethan. It’s kinda weird, you bringing a drink to me.”

“And I did it without any training, can you believe it?” He joked, making you laugh, which helped this encounter feel less foreign.

“Where’s your bathroom?” You asked and he pointed it out for you.

When you returned, she was sitting up with him. Their conversation halted as soon as you stepped through the door, with both of them staring at you. You saw that they each wore a smile, but you hesitated, unsure of what you had just interrupted.

“What, what did I miss?” You asked.

“Nothing, just come sit down.” He beckoned, there was a mischievous glint in his eye.

“I dunno about that, I feel like you two partners in crime are up to something.” You said with exaggerated suspicion.

“Definitely not. Just come chill with us.” She said.

You made a show of how slowly you approached the bed, then you perched yourself at the very edge. “So what were you talking about?”

The two friends shared a knowing smile before she spoke. “We were talking about how there’s no way you’re leaving here without a hickey.”

»»————-　♡　————-««

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[missjoolee]

Ray has always been a bit scatterbrained. It was honestly one of the traits that endeared his sweet Rose to him when they were dating, and teasing him as he searched for an item he just had was one of her favorite past times during their marriage. But after she died, it got worse. All thanks to the insomnia. As if suddenly being a single parent wasn’t difficult enough, suddenly he was misplacing his keys, resulting in being consistently late to things. He would forget to go grocery shopping and they ordered pizza way too often. He constantly had Victoria and other well meaning people asking if everything was okay? Did he need help?

He just needed some sleep. But each night he would lay down, toss and turn, doze for an hour or two and then be wide awake for hours. The only upside was he was awake when Carlos or Julie needed him, overwhelmed by their grief in the dark of night during those first months.

As time passed, as they healed together, things got easier. He learned to buy tomato sauce and spaghetti in bulk for the times he forgot to go grocery shopping, and he’d finally given in to Victoria’s offers of help with meals as well. He still misplaced things more often than before, but his kids, his beautiful kids, helped him out wearing the same teasing smirks his Rose used to give him. And slowly, he was sleeping longer, deeper, than he had in months.

It’s when Julie gets kicked out of the music program that he starts having sleepless nights again. It’s been difficult watching her struggle with music all this time, but he didn’t realize how much he was struggling watching it, not knowing how to help her, until the school made their decision.

It’s different from before. For starters, it’s not every night, it wasn’t even that first night after Julie had started cleaning out the garage. And even when he heard her play the next morning, and he felt more peace and relief than he had in forever, he still would find himself unable to fall asleep some nights. Victoria notices the bags under his eyes and he can tell she’s worried that he’s backsliding in his progress, so he is quick to assure her it’s not the same this time. It feels like when he was there for his kids, even though he’s alone. He will toss and turn until finally giving up and walking down into the kitchen or into the den to his home computer. He talks to Rose sometimes, other times just musing his thoughts aloud. And the strange thing is eventually, almost like a physical feeling, he knows he can go back to his bed and will sleep through the rest of the night.

It’s one such night as he has given in to make a middle of the night grilled cheese, narrating what he has learned the past year to do and not do to get the perfect sandwich, that he hears the gentle thumps of Julie’s footsteps coming down the stairs. He can tell because Carlos practically does a control fall down the stairs he moves so fast, while Julie usually isn’t in any rush.

“Everything okay, Julie?” he asks before she’s even rounded the banister. He slides the spatula under the grilled cheese and lifts it over to the plate he has waiting.

“Yeah. Just getting a glass of wa-” she cuts off as she rounds the corner, staring at the counter opposite the stove. Her gaze lingers for a long moment, before moving to the sandwich he was now cutting in half into triangles. “-ter. Everything okay here?”

“Yeah. Just felt like a late night snack. Want half?” he offers.

She smiles but shakes her head, gaze drifting back to the counter across from him, before she makes her way over to the sink to fill a glass with water. “No thanks. Just water for me tonight.”

Ray shrugs, taking a bite. He leans against the counter and watches his daughter, his heart swelling at the huge steps she’s taken these past weeks. As she turns back, he reaches out to intercept her, pulling her to his side with one arm. He places a kiss on the top of her head. “I am so proud of you, Mija.”

Her arm squeezes him back, not letting go as she drinks her water and he eats his sandwich, both looking forward across the stove and counter both lost in their own thoughts. Suddenly a giant smiles grows on her face and she looks up at him. “You’re a good dad. I’m lucky you’re mine.”

“I’m the lucky one to have such great kids. Where did that come from?” She steps out from his side and grabs the second half of his sandwich.

“It’s late, Papi. You should go to sleep.”

He opens his mouth to argue, but then that feeling overtakes him. The one that says he’ll be able to fall asleep. “I think you mean we should go to sleep. It’s a school night.”

She laughs at him as she bites into the sandwich and heads for the stairs.

[eminsunnytoons123]

The teppums Show gang characters: part 1, 2, 3, 4, And 5!!

I added timrek's new design here-

Here are the five parts of the teppums Show gang! But i sorta changed their info top since i sorta forgot their info-

And also im still thinking about their info, just give me time to think, y'all ^///^;

Info about them:

Timrek the sheep (formerly timrek the opossum) - Timrek the sheep is Kermit's teppum counterpart, he is an kind-hearted, sweet, polite, akward And kind shy leader sheep of the teppums Show gang, he is 22 years old like kermit And he is bisexual And polyamourous, he is dating madame camela And Evan the Elephant. He plays the violin And sings about beautiful starry nights. His headcanon voice actor is Andrew Francis, And his voice claim is shining armor from my little pony: friendship is magic.

Madame camela - madame camela is miss piggy's teppum counterpart, she is an headstrong, hot-headed, sassy, flirty, arrogant And sarcastic camel Lady in the teppums Show gang, she is 22 years old like miss piggy And she is bisexual And polyamourous, she is dating timrek the sheep And Evan the Elephant. She has a very good sense in Fashion And she does karate like miss piggy, she is an egyptian-french camel woman that Sounds like a man. Her headcanon voice actor is Nick Kroll, And her voice claim is Lola from big mouth.

Evan the Elephant - Evan the Elephant is fozzie bear's teppum counterpart, he is an goofy, silly, sweet, kind, friendly And naive Elephant Guy in the teppums Show gang, he is 23 years old like fozzie And he is pansexual, queer And polyamourous, he is dating timrek the sheep And madame camela. He uses hoola-hoops just like how fozzie uses Rubber chickens. Whenever a child or someone in the teppums Show gang is sad or crying, he tries to make them laugh And comfort them. His headcanon voice actor is Bill Farmer, And his voice claim is Modern voice of goofy from the Mickey mouse cartoon.

Hector the brilliant - Hector the brilliant is gonzo the great's teppum counterpart, they is an enthusiastic, sassy, optimistic, sarcastic And energetic Guy in the teppums Show gang, he is 22 years old like gonzo And he is pansexual And non-binary, they is dating Diana the mermaid. He is like an yellow feline with an Purple nose And no ears, but he does have claws And possibly a tail. He is an acrobat in the teppums Show gang. His headcanon voice actor is Sam Vincent, And his voice claim is Russell from littlest pet shop.

Quade the fennec Fox - quade the fennec Fox is Rizzo the rat's teppum counterpart, he is an sarcastic, Wise-cracking, sassy And sorta arrogant fennec Fox Guy in the teppums Show gang, he is 20 years old like Rizzo And he is pansexual And polyamourous, he is dating litvik the King cobra And Victoria the fennec Fox. He is from Egypt just like madame camela, And he likes playing computer games And video games on his Gameboy. His headcanon voice actor is Ronald Binion, And his voice claim is pixel byte from lazytown.

Litvik the King cobra - litvik the King cobra is Pepe the King prawn's teppum counterpart, he is an friendly, flirty, sassy And sarcastic King cobra in the teppums Show gang, he is 20 years old like Pepe And he is bisexual And polyamourous, he is dating quade the fennec Fox And Victoria the fennec Fox. He is from India And has an thick Indian accent, And! Dont call him a "snake" or "anaconda", he is an KING COBRA! he says "haan.", "haan?" And "haan!" at the end of every sentence he says, And haan Means "yes" in indian. His headcanon voice actor is Peter New, his voice claim is Sunil from littlest pet shop.

Dr linnaeus un shingems - dr linnaeus un shingems is dr bunsen's teppum counterpart, he is an sweet, friendly, curious, Scientist in the teppums Show gang, he is 27 years old like dr bunsen And he is bisexual, he is dating arlo. He does lots of weird And Crazy Experiments And science, he once made arlo some kind of weird shoes, And arlo ended up being on the ceilling. His headcanon voice actor is Billy West, And his voice claim is professor Hubert from Futurama.

Arlo - arlo is beaker's teppum counterpart, he is an awkward, kind And friendly but an nervous And shy wreck in the teppums Show gang, he is 28 years old like beaker And he is bisexual, he is dating dr linnaeus. He can be sometimes nervous And scared when dr linnaeus tests his Experiments on him, but he doesnt get Hurt. He speaks in: "eeh?", "beep!", "meep." And "ah!" But he does say: "hello!" And "bye-bye!". His headcanon voice actor is Samuel Khouth, And his voice claim is Edd from Ed, Edd & Eddy.

Shane the american bison - Shane the american bison is rowlf the dog's teppum counterpart, he is an wise, sarcastic, sassy, Nice And friendly american bison in the teppums Show gang, he is 29 years old like rowlf and he is bisexual, he is dating Isabella the hot Pink-haired whatnot. He plays the banjo just like how rowlf plays the piano, And they both sometimes make a duet together. He has an thick american-texas accent, And sometimes others mistake him for a bull. His headcanon voice actor is Peter Kay, And his voice claim is tin-top from roary the racing car.

Travis - Travis is scooter's teppum counterpart, he is an intelligent, friendly, bragging, sarcastic And sorta narcissistic Guy in the teppums Show gang, he is 15 years old like scooter And he is bisexual, he has a crush on Zane. He helps timrek with The Show, And he sometimes brags about it. His big sister is tiana And he doesnt really Admit his crush on Zane because he thinks that tiana, especially others, will laugh at him. He isnt really narcissistic, but he acts like that. His headcanon voice actor is Youssef El Kaoukibi, And his voice claim is brainy smurf from the 2021 smurfs.

Zane - Zane is Walter's teppum counterpart, he is an friendly, sweet, kind And optimistic Guy in the teppums Show gang, he is 17 years old like Walter And he is pansexual, he sorta has a crush on Travis. He is a huge fan of the teppums And he is the part of them. He is very talkative, but he sometimes thinks that it annoys the other teppums but it actually doesnt And they like his stories. His headcanon voice actor is Kaycie Chase, And his voice claim is jokey from 2021 smurfs.

Lavi the King lion - lavi the King lion is sam the eagle's teppum counterpart, he is an mature, serious, arrogant, ignorant And sarcastic King lion in the teppums Show gang, he is 25 years old like sam the eagle And he is bisexual, he is dating dr Lips. He is from the UK and sorta has an mixed accent, an american-british accent I can say. He likes the UK culture, And he calls almost everyone in the teppums Show gang "crazies". And he has an twin Brother named Lionel the King lion number two, And he is more Purple And blue unlike lavi. His headcanon voice actor is James Earl Jones, And his voice claim is Mufasa from the lion King.

Dr Lips - Dr Lips is dr teeth's teppum counterpart, he is an sassy, chill, laid back, friendly And groovy guy in the teppums Show gang and the cloudy System band, he is 24 years old like dr teeth And he is pansexual, he is dating lavi the King lion. He is the leader in the cloudy System band And he plays the accordion, And he likes eating the Strawberry shortcake dessert. His headcanon voice actor is Robin Williams, And his voice claim is Genie from the original Aladdin.

Stephany - stephany is Janice's teppum counterpart, she is an groovy, chill, laid back, kind And friendly Lady in the teppums Show gang and the cloudy System band, she is 23 years old like Janice And she is pansexual And a demi-girl, they is dating Sgt Gideon Quinn. They likes listening to Melanie Martinez And she plays the tambourine in the cloudy System band. Just like madame camela, she Sounds like a man. Her headcanon voice actor is Brad Bird, And their voice claim is Edna from the incredibles.

Sgt Gideon Quinn - Sgt Gideon Quinn is Floyd Pepper's teppum counterpart, he is an chill, laid back, sarcastic, friendly And Kind Guy in the teppums Show gang and the cloudy System band, he is 22 years old like Floyd And he is pansexual, he is dating stephany. He plays the bass in the cloudy System band And likes listening to any bass music. His headcanon voice actor is Marc Silk, And his voice claim is Nick from roary the racing car.

Wilds Benner - wilds Benner is Animal's teppum counterpart, he is an wild, Crazy, energetic, friendly And Enthusiastic Guy in the teppums Show gang and the cloudy System band, his Age is Unknown, but he might be 19 years old, he is pansexual And asexual, he is dating Theodora the blue-haired whatnot. He plays the timpani And he hits it very hard to make loud music. His headcanon voice actress is Lea Delaria, And his voice claim is Helga Phugly from the oblongs.

Nicolas - Nicolas is Lips' teppum counterpart, he is an chill, sweet, kind, friendly And sorta forgetfull Guy in the teppums Show gang and the cloudy System band, he is 23 years old like Lips And he is pansexual And genderfluid, he is dating Werner. He is playing the mouth harmonica in the cloudy System band, And he always has interesting stories to say, And he has an thick European accent. His headcanon voice actor is Dominic Frisby, And his voice claim is Loada from roary the racing car.

Werner - Werner is zoot's teppum counterpart, he is an arrogant, ignorant, annoyed, lazy And sorta an quiet guy in the teppums Show gang and cloudy System band, he is 23 years old like Zoot and he is bisexual, he is dating Nicolas. He plays the trumpet in the cloudy System band, And he hates when someone tells him what to do. His headcanon voice actor is Dan Mintz, And his voice claim is Tina belcher from bob's burgers.

I'll post the others tommorow! And im making more!

@splashy900 @kxllboii @cheezecirno @aquamarine-dream-queen @oscarandgrinchfan @moshywoosh @ilovescaredysquirrel2 @nuggetaubrey @nightkit92 @familyoffood @dayzsaclark @mysafespaceblog13 @thelazzyblogzz @sugar-miss1 @shrimpathizer @shypeachrunaway @iggyguyy @sophia-does-skits @typical-sophie @peaceforpeople @ben5569 @princessmishka22 @lindseynicole1999

[sadsoftserve]

Okay time to dump info because I need a place to keep things 'straight' so I remember stuff about my multiple AUs upon AUs.

So I'm just gonna write shit and hope y'all pick it up.

The Salia Kids (Second Gen au)-

Jasper and 'Vee' are half-siblings with the same donor. Vee is 13, Jasper is 16. Both were concerned with sperm donors.

They are both on 9th grade (Jasper got held back, Vee got pushed forward) and have a rivalry on par to Sabrinas and Sylvies (they have mellowed out tho) Vees mom is Sabrina, while Jasper is Dalias. Jasper was named after Dalias younger brother, who's name is also Jasper. Vees name is Victoria Lila Kalmeren-Ashling the lll, because every first female born into Sabrinas family has the same name.

Vee is a child genius, taking a keen interest in computer science and technology. She likes making things, and with her Epithet: Imagine, it makes things very easy.

Jasper has yet to get one (I haven't gotten around to it) Jasper is Academically challenged in some way, however he can be very smart under pressure. Vee is the exact opposite of this. Jasper is secretly a Banzai Blaster, and while he thinks it's a secret, everyone knows except Sabrina.

Their relationships with their mothers varies. Vee has a great relationship with both of them, while Jasper is going through a rebellious streak and completely disregarding anything Sabrina says. This pisses her off to no end.

Dalia on the other hand, loves her children very much, and will die for them. (Sabrina will too, she's just too damn stubborn to admit it.)

King siblings(Second Gen Au)-

Amber and Liam are siblings, Amber being older at 14 years of age, and Liam being 9. They have that classic sibling relationship, y'know the one.

Liam is in 4th grade, and is 70% deaf in both of his ears. He wears hearing aids that help a ton, but can shut you up by just turning them off. He does that a lot. He's a very smarmy little shit, and not afraid to speak his mind. He's great at sports, and is tall for his age (9yrs old and 5'0 tall) he does take after Parker more than Micah, he has a strong sense of justice along with that classic King bluntness.

Amber is in 9th grade, and is a total band geek. Micah taught her how to play three different instruments when she was younger, and they have stuck with her. Unfortunately she takes after her Dad a bit too much, because she is the most awkward and dorkiest girl ever. She, just like her father, is considered a loser by the popular kids.

Ambers Epithet is Tune. This is also partly why she is very talented in music. Liam is a Mundie, as of right now, he does not know if he will get an Epithet, both of his parents are mundies, so the chances are low.

Both are half-Jewish due to Micah. They celebrate both holidays because Parker said: "Every child should celebrate with their parents, no matter what." Even though she doesn't talk to her parents.

The family is very well rounded and healthy. Of course there is an argument here and there, but overall nothing too bad.

Both kids have a different reaction to Percy though... Amber admires her great aunt (I think that's what she would be here) and looks at her work as an inspiration to keep going. Liam thinks she's boring, unfun, and too monotone. He has told her this to her face.

Bonnie's kids (Second Gen Au)-

Bonnie is Aroace, however that did not stop her from having kids. Even if they're not biologically related to her. She adopted twins, both of Deepwood race, and looks at them like theyre her own flesh and blood.

I haven't yet designed them, but both are great at roller skating and frequently work at Bonnie's pawn shop with her. Their names are, Amera and Armen, both are 9 years old, and... Just extensions of Bonnie.

Bonnie is a cigarette mom, most def. But she hides it when she can. It's a bad habit. Her go-to apology is asking if they want to get a fountain from the gas station. They immediately forgive her.

(they are still being developed)

Now onto the Age up AU, and spitballing :3

Micah and Parker (Age up AU)-

The healthiest relationship you will ever see. Both are working adults, and they make time for each other. They've been together since their late sophomore year, and are still growing strong.

When they found out they were expecting. They were completely happy. Until Micah started overthinking (like he always does) and started to freak out.

Until he turned to FRED of all people who just told him "Dude, I'm not good at this either! I'm just winging it!" And they freaked out together.

Blaire (@arospecbandgeek OC's go check em out) starts giving unsolicited advice to both of them, until Parker breaks down in tears because she thinks shes doing terrible. Blair has yet to apologize for this.

Sabrina and Dalia-

Another healthy relationship! Except Dalias ever growing anxiety at the fact her wife creaks like a 60yr old woman and is somehow WORSE than when she was younger.

Sabrinas ready to die at this point, she never expected to live this long.

Both have issues. Both love each other. Both girls :3

[redqueenphoenix]

State Championship (TWD Fanfiction Part 9)

State Championship Part 9

(A TWD Fan Fiction)

I do not own any of the rights to The Walking Dead, nor do I own any of the characters mentioned from here on in, other than Victoria Hawkins. Some situations have been changed and some people may have been switched in this alternate universe. 

All characters in this fanfiction are all over the age of 21 years old.

Coach Negan Smith X Female OC

Word Count: 1280

~*~

Part 9

Month’s passed as Victoria and Negan continued to see each other. Days filled with laughter and fun while the nights were passion fueled. Time passed while they saw each other and summer bled to fall rather quickly. But as the fall settled in she noticed that she was seeing less and less of Negan. She chalked it up to the fact that football season had just started and he was the coach after all.

Victoria was just finishing up another essay for college when her phone chimed. A smile crossed her face when she saw it was Negan texting her.

“Can you meet me at the coffee shop here in a bit? I’d like to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah, when?” She replied back quickly.

“About thirty minutes?”

“Absolutely, I’ve been needing some coffee with all this studying. Love you, see you there.”

“See you soon.”

Victoria stared down at her screen, he usually said it back. This seemed so odd to her as she moved from her computer desk and made her way to her bathroom to freshen up a bit. Checking her makeup and her hair as she stepped back out. She grabbed her black jacket off the computer chair, scooped up her keys and headed out the door. She made her way to her car and drove down the street to the local coffee shop. She adored the shop, they had the best brews when the fall came around. It was refreshing to head there to meet up with Negan. 

As she rounded the corner she saw that he was already there. His black car was parked neatly at the curb. Carefully she pulled in behind his car. Taking her keys from the ignition she smiled as she opened her car door and slipped across the street. 

The bell at the top of the door chimed as she walked in. Heading towards the table where Negan sat with a set of straight black coffees. He looked so good with his stubble and his black leather jacket. She leaned in to kiss him as she passed and noticed that he tilted away from her. Her heart skipped a beat in shock, he had never done that to her before. 

“Thanks for coming, Vicky.” He said as he pushed one of the coffees towards her, his eyes not meeting hers. 

“Yeah, I always have time for you, hun.” She smiled at him as she accepted the coffee.

He took a deep, heavy breath, “about that…” He started as if he was fighting an internal battle. “I’m sorry. I met someone.”

“What?” Victoria’s whole world shattered as she looked at him. “What do you mean?”

Negan sighed as he looked up at her, “I met someone and I have been seeing her.”

She felt the tears sting her eyes as she looked back at him. “Oh…” She was at a complete loss for words. 

“You’re a wonderful girl, but I can’t keep seeing you now.” He admitted. “I met Lucille down at a diner by accident and we hit it off.”

Victoria nodded as she tore her eyes from him and stared down at her coffee.

“God damn it, Vicky. I know this isn’t easy.” Negan stated as he leaned back in the chair, “say something.” 

Her bottom lip trembled as she started to stand up, “I- I have to go…” She choked out as the tears slid down her face.

“Vicky…” He softly said as he reached for her hand as she passed.

She jerked her hand from his grasp as she headed for the car. She heard the door open and close behind her again as she got into her car. She knew he had followed her out of the coffee shop, but she didn’t want to talk or see him at the moment. Starting her car, she pulled away from the curb and drove off. Leaving him standing on the street corner where the coffee shop was.

Driving for a while she decided to go back home. As she parked the car the full force of what just happened hit her like a ton of bricks. She couldn’t stop the tears anymore as she screamed, hitting her steering wheel. Her heart shattered into a million pieces and the pain was too much. Hearing her phone chime a few times she threw it into the passenger's seat. She was too hurt to hear his excuses right now.

After a few moments, she gathered her phone and her keys and went towards her apartment. She gave up going to school there just for him and he destroyed her. Fumbling her keys a few times through the tears she finally unlocked her door. 

Victoria knew that she couldn’t stay in this town, she was bound to run into them. She cleared her notifications on her phone and hit the dial button. Rolling through her contacts until she found her mother’s phone number. Hitting the call button as she wiped the tears from her face.

“Hey, Tori! How is school going?” A woman spoke on the other side of the phone.

A sob escaped her lips as she tried to speak, “I-I want to come home.”

“Oh god, Victoria! What happened, dear?” Her mother asked with concern. “Are you alright?”

“No,” she sobbed. “He left me.”

“That Negan fellow? Why?” Her voice was full of worry.

“He started seeing someone else.” She tried to calm her breathing, “mom, can I please come home?”

“Of course baby.”  She tried to soothe her over the phone. You know you are always welcome here.”

Victoria took a shaky breath in as she nodded, “I will pack up and I should be on the way in the next few days.”

“Are you sure you can drive here to Atlanta by yourself?”

“Yes, I can.” She looked around the apartment and began to pack down her laptop and her textbooks with her mother on the phone.

“Erika will be happy that you are coming back. She won’t admit it, but she misses you alot.”

“I’ll be glad to be home too. I love you. I’m going to start packing.” 

“I love you too, honey. See you soon.” Her mother replied as she hung the phone up.

Victoria brought her phone down and looked at it for a moment or two. Finally she tapped the messages button and found that she was right. Negan had tried to message her.

“Victoria, I never meant for it to be like this. I do have love for you, but not like I do for her. Please don’t hate me.”

She looked down at the message, staring at it as it twisted her gut. She couldn’t believe he would do this to her. Taking a shaky breath she tapped out a response.

“Thank you for the time you did spend with me. I’m just glad that you are happy even though it is not with me. I still love you Negan and I always will. Nothing will change that, but with that in mind, I am leaving for Atlanta, so that you and Lucille do not have to worry about me. I wish you all the best and all the happiness you deserve.” ~*~

Part 10

[raptorsaurusmelain]

Let me show you... Youtube - chapter 12

Little chapter by chapter, the story is following the game. (Am I reading the manga in parallel to be sure I miss nothing ? Yes.)

Anyway, today I pre-ordered Vil's figurine, I can't wait to be in december and receive it.

Warning : no proof reading, English is not my mother tongue.

If you are interested in reading this fic, the tag "#twst lmsyy" will give you all the chapters.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: .☽ . :☆ﾟ. ───

After her day, the brunette went to the school store to prepare for the overblot after care.

She was browsing through the shelf of the shop when Sam interpelled her. “Hello Dr Devi ! What can I do for you today ?”

[Of course he knows. But time to lie.] “Hello Sam, I am preparing for… My periods.” She said, whispering in his ear the last part.

Sam was a little embarrassed (as if it was possible). “I do not have everything prepared for ladies hygiene… Do you wish to order ? Like this I will have stock next time !”

[Actually… It wasn’t a bad idea.] She thought. Her basket was mostly full with cakes and chocolates, but she didn’t think about what would happen if she really needed pads or tampons. Damn, what a clever lie. What a smart woman.

That’s how she was at the counter, with a catalog on feminine products. She was very entertaining to watch, her face morphing from a simple surprise to an horrified expression reading the list of products that could be purchased.

She gave her list to Sam, with the brand and quantity on it. She also purchased wax stripes and razors because she was doing a chase of body hair. She added a headset to listen to music while doing her job. It was a Wony wireless sh-1000-xm5 with active noise balance, like the one she had on Earth.

Sam did a little chit chat with her, to get to know her better you know ? “So you have a thesis in artificial intelligence ? You should speak with the Ignihyde little imps, they would be thrilled to have a young woman understanding their craze for technology !”

She smiled “I know I should speak with them, I need to buy a gaming computer and some games !”

Sam’s eyebrows rose. “You are a gamer ? What a woman ! You will become popular with the boys.”

The woman pondered. “Well, I hope it is not masculine toxicity here too. I had a lot of misogynist men when I played online… Plus I am an old lady for them, I doubt they will be a ‘Victoria’s fanclub’.” She laughed at the second part.

Sam dared to ask. “How old are you ? You don’t look a day over 22 !”

Victoria's laugh doubled. “Oh boy, I am 29. Don’t flatter me too much !”

Sam was astonished. “What’s your beauty secret ?”

She winked. “Anti-aging cream, moisturize, sleep and not have infants. The holy quartet, my dear.”

The man laughed. “I love you already.” 

With her order ticket and her aftercare basket she went to the dorm. She prepared a dish of bolognese pastas with parmesan on the side, since she didn’t know if Yuu liked cheese. While waiting for her children, she finished setting up the old TV to see if it was still working under the eyes of the 3 ghosts. She cursed a lot seeing that the rats had eaten the alimentation cord. Well… Tomorrow she will order a new TV apparently. She needed a source of information and with this the children could watch movies and series on the weekends. They needed to blend like they could so they wouldn’t be bullied.

She was cut in her thoughts by a “We’re home ! We have a gift for you Victoria !”

The woman was surprised. “Oh ? What it is ?”

Yuu opened a box and revealed a slice of Mont Blanc tart. “Tadam ! We made them earlier !”

Victoria, put a hand on her heart, melting from the cuteness. “Ooooh Baby, you shouldn’t have…”

Grim interrupted the moment. “So I can eat it ?”

Victoria answered in 0.5s. “No, it’s mine. How was the afternoon ? The supper is ready.”

Grim began his eventful story of how they went to the dorm that morning with Deuce, met Cater, had a meal with Trey and Cater, met Riddle, got to gather chestnuts and…

“And we made the tart with magic !! Aren’t I cool ?” Finished Grim.

Victoria clapped “You are the best Grim. You will be a great mage if you continue like this.”

Grim puffed out his chest. “Of course, my underling. I won’t forget you !”

The Child finished their pasta. “We can get dessert now… Tell us if it tastes good !”

The woman could see that Yuu was borderline praying for it to taste good. She took a bite and hummed. “It is very good ! Very chestnut-y ! I like it.”

The adolescent exhaled, cheered up. “Trey did most of the baking but..”

Victoria placed her finger tip on Yuu’s lips. “Shhh, you participated in the baking and it is enough for me. I hope tomorrow will go well.”

Even if she knew it wouldn’t go well…

Tag : @boba-tea-fish @hipsterteller

[musingsofahistorymajor]

YO YOU GOT ANY COOL WOMAN'S HISTORY FACTS ALSO HISTORY IS POG LIKE I GOT A LECTURE WORTH OF STUFF ABOUT JAMES CAGNEY

Oh my god SO MANY! Where do I even start!! Here is a quick and short rundown of some of my favorite womens history facts:

Women in the military during ww1 and ww2 is one of my favorite subjects. Let's talk about that for a second:

Women served in every branch of the U.S. military throughout both world war 1 and world war 2

Did you know women served in the US Army and as such were stationed in every front of the war during WWII?

Female switchboard operators served in the trenches of France during ww1.

The most feared bombers in ww2 were Russian women flying wooden planes and physically throwing the bombs out

Women were the ones to help break enemy codes

Women helped planned D-Day

Russian snipers were fierce badasses.

We have computers thanks to women. Ada Lovelace, Grace Hopper, Hedy Lamar, etc.

DNA's double helix form was discovered by a woman. Rosalind Franklin.

Women got us to space by performing complex mathematical calculations by hand during launches.

Science Fiction was started by a woman. Mary Shelley.

One of the most fearsome pirates ever was a woman. Ching Shih. She was undefeated and was one of the few pirates who retired.

Hypatia was the last last librarian of the Library of Alexandria and is said to be the first female mathematician

The first female historian was Anna Comnena of the Byzantine empire

Sybil Ludington was a 16 year old girl who joined the famous "Midnight Riders" and rode from Putnam County, New York to Danbury, Connecticut to warn of advancing British troops.

Hatshepsut is the the fifth pharaoh of the Eighteenth Dynasty of Egypt. She was the second historically confirmed female pharaoh, after Sobekneferu

Deborah Sampson was a woman who served in the army during the American Revolution. She disguised herself as a man and served admirably

We wouldn't have airplanes without Katherine Wright who made sure her brothers had everything they needed. She ran their family shop, booked speaking engagements for them, was basically their marketing director and made sure these two idiots didn't die from starvation.

Agent 355 was a female spy in the Culper Ring during the American Revolution.

Virne “Jackie” Mitchell, a pitcher, was the first woman in professional baseball. During an exhibition game, she struck out both Babe Ruth and Lou Gehrig.

The first novel. As in the very first novel. Written by a woman. Murasaki Shikibu who wrote the Tale of Genji in 1000 AD

The earliest recorded female physician was Merit Ptah, a doctor in ancient Egypt who lived around 2700 B.C. Many historians believe she may be the first woman recorded by name in the history of all of the sciences, making her achievement all the more impressive

Victoria Woodhull ran for president in 1872.

Julie d’Aubigny was a French bisexual opera-singing sword fighter from 17th-century France. A total badass.

Valentina Tereshkova was the first woman to go in space.

Stephanie Kwolek was an American chemist who invented Kevlar

Lyudmila Pavlichenko is the most successful female sniper in human history. Initially barred entry into the Red Army to due to her sex, Lyudmila would go on to rack up 309 confirmed kills in WWII. Her terrifying skills as a sniper and impressive kill count earned her the nickname “Lady Death” from her German enemies.

Nancy Wake who killed an SS Officer with her bare hands

Khutulun was the great-great-granddaughter of legendary conqueror Genghis Khan. Taught the inner workings of military life by her father, Khutulun became a skilled and powerful warrior. For her marriage, she proposed a challenge: any man that could best her in a wrestling match would have the honor of taking her hand in marriage. If they lost, they would have to give her a horse.

Boudicca was a queen of the Iceni tribe of Celtic Britons, who led an uprising against the conquering forces of the Roman Empire in AD 60 or 61.

Honestly I can go on forever. There are so many amazing and interesting women in history and I can't learn enough about them. This is only a very small list and a condensed version of their stories. I highly recommend looking into each of them more.

[drmajalis]

For the drabble prompts: Flametail and Kirara. "Unexpected friendship"

It had taken a lot of prodding of the Rhodes Interior Manager to allow Kirara to set up her little vintage arcade room.

Video games were not exactly the biggest past time among the mostly Ursus, Kazdelian and Yan operators employed at Rhodes, and those from Victoria and Leithania mostly stuck to their own brand of Agima and Itara home computers, which left Kirara's little collection of old arcade cabinets still collecting dust after they were finally set up.

Every week she came in to do some general maintenance on the decade old CRTs, lubricating the sticks and buttons, replacing springs if necessary. She kept them working for a crowd of one, but it was solid work, and validating effort.

And then one day she came in hearing voices, and the clicking of buttons.

"...See what's so special?"

"It's just... the pizza shop where I used to live had this same game!"

"You had a pizza shop in your district?"

"Yeah, he always sold cheap slices to me and the other kids, and- oh, are you the owner here?!"

The two Zalaks camped at one of her space shooter cabinets spotted her and waved, with the red haired one quickly looking back to the screen.

"Everything was on freeplay, so, I just assumed it was open to everyone... I'm Sona, and this is Ashley!"

Kirara nodded, smiled, and put her tool bag down at the door before walking up behind the two, with Ashlock moving to the side so she could get a view of the play area.

"Oh, you're doing quite well!"

Flametail grinned. "I wanna beat the highscore here!"

Kirara chuckled. "I... would love to see that."

[another-corpo-rat]

3 4 and 15 if they haven't been asked already!!

this is so late omfg im sorry-

Do they use nicknames for their contacts or do they list contacts by full name?

by default Victoria will save someone's surname and their department. if she respects the person she'll go to the effort of the full name, no note of their occupation or role necessary as she commits it to memory instead.

There are a few exceptions to this though but even then they err more towards insults (with questionable fondness implied) or notable failures/actions of the individual.

Who do they text most frequently?

Before her mother, Marion, died it used to be her - almost daily with little updates, griping to each other about co-workers, some vague complaints about relationships, recommending books or shows to either watch or avoid.

Nowadays Michiko Sanderson (née Arasaka) takes that mantle, though their conversations read as mundane - more confirming times when they're meeting up for lunch or coffee, occassional surface-level threads of gossip about whose fucking who. Y'know just girl talk.

Describe their computer. Is it a sticker covered laptop? A high-tech gaming computer?

Used to be she had a laptop for work - non-distinct from any other official Arasaka-issued hardware except for the fact it looked near new despite being a few years old, but after it was stolen she opted for a desktop terminal instead. Again, Arasaka-issued and top of the line courtesy of her position; powerful, black, and with an obnoxious flavouring of red LEDs that go unseen as she has the desktop under her desk.

Her personal device is more akin to a chromebook and is again in obnoxiously good condition, though it only sees use when Victoria's online shopping or researching non-work related topics (ma'am why are you so interested in the franklin expedition-)

[alanshee-keeper-of-realms]

The Very 1st Pixal

Violet Genesis Borg-Jewell

Build Number: 1

Age: 33

Built in 1989

History: when Cyrus Borg was 15 years old inspired by the Legend of Birchwood Forest he created the very first Nindroid made in the modern era in 1989. She would have the longest initial stint out of then lasting until 1996 before her body malfunctioned.

Violet is the only one Cyrus actually mourned over as he did not know when or if he would be able to bring her back online.

But in 2014 Zane Julian would help him be the one to show him how to bring the Pixals back online, so he started with Violet.

As seen she is actually missing one of her arms this was due to something happening to it while she was in storage they do not know when her arm got detached but because her form was so old at that point a lot of the parts needed to reattach and recreate that arm are no longer in existence, so Cyrus offered to rebuild her form if she so chose or she could just deal with it as an amputee so she chose to manage life as one of the first amputee Nindroids.

Her grandmother Cyrus's mother Victoria took a notice and liking initially to Violet having the most contact with Violet as Cyrus used to carry her around on a laptop before he was able to switch her over to a form, so sometimes the laptop would end up in the kitchen because Cyrus being Cyrus and the two women would end up frequently having nice conversations

So when Violet came back online she remembered something that Violet wanted to do become a lawyer within a few years Violet had become one nobody wanted to really tussle with you were wrestling with a living thinking computer who could bring up any and all evidence she has come across.

In that top photo she is the head of Borg Industries legal team she was the one if you were trying to sue them or any legal matter you would run into.

At Borg Industries she would meet her first husband which I will not name as he belongs to another who hates me with a passion anymore, so he is now her ex-husband they do together have one son named Victor. I also have made him a cheater in my world. Simone her younger sister spotted him at her club which is meant for Adult audiences only if you catch my drift.

She'd go on though to meet this man named Honeysuckle while at a therapist's office after handling the divorce between her and her ex-husband she wasn't looking for anything but they were both smitten immediately. Victor's toy flew out of his hand hit his future stepdad's leg and the rest was history as they say.

( Honeysuckle was actually a collab with @roantheboat but due to personal reasons they handed him fully over to me

(Honeysuckle Jewell-Borg)

Honeysuckle is a prime Empire Android he worked a 1920s rubberhose level with his identical twin Jewell Honeysuckle (Yeah its just backwards naming of each other) at their families flower shop they were a hidden boss as if you stepped on the flowers three times they would come out and attack you to defend their flowers. His family once Prime Empire happened migrated out into Ninjago and run their flower shop next to Jennifer's coffee shop.

Eventually Violet though would Branch out from her lawyer work and jump into the political ring after the events of Crystallized everybody was unstable about their mayor and his behavior so she ran against him and in summer of 2024 Violet Borg became the first Nindroid Mayor of Ninjago City by a slim margin,

(In the top picture behind her is her husband Honeysuckle and the child in her arm is her son Victor. On the night she took over as Mayor)

Now you may be asking with Victor how did she have a kid how do any of the Nindroids have kids? Well in my world they have nanites and they act like the cells of the human body in us, it is touted as one of Cyrus Borg's greatest breakthroughs as he gave the Nindroid race the ability to produce more of well them, there are three main Generations the Nindroid Army the Prime Empire group and the Nanite group

That is what Victor is he is one of the first generation Nanite Nindroids if you don't know what a Nanite is it's a microscopic robot that can come together to create something

This program though does have its glitches and Violet suffers from the safety feature being taken off of how many a carrier can have.

She still holds the record of most carried at eight babies. Cyrus did foresee a problem with multiples happening like this so there is a safety feature on these Nanites that stops it at 3 at most per carrying cycle, but for some weird reason in Violet this feature was off and he couldn't even correct it so they just had to be careful.

She and Honeysuckle in their 814 years of Marriage have 256 kids between them being the largest branch of the Borg Tree. It's basically a case of if you can trace yourself back to the Borg family typically it's this side.

(Art by @roantheboat )

[cherrynika]

They’re watching The Great British Bake Off when Charles finally asks. Here we go, he thinks, there’s no turning back. 

“You’ve been masturbating in the shower. You did it just now.”

Sebastian narrows his eyes and looks at him, no longer in his happy state of enchantment watching granny number 2 bake her ‘famous Victoria sponge’. He puts down his little moleskine, where he had been jotting down her tips. Things are getting serious. Charles should be afraid. He feels his heart speed up, this is the good part.

“And how do you know this?” His German accent has almost been washed away by life in the paddock, but the arch tone keeps things interesting.

“You didn’t wash all the cum away and I felt it under my feet. It doesn’t feel like water.” He stops for a moment, he wants to see Sebastian’s reaction. 

“Well, I’ll be more thorough next time.” Sebastian loves awkwardness and embarrassment even if he insists he doesn’t so naturally he continues. “Is that all?” The notebook has been abandoned. Charles grabs the pen and caps it, the couch is upholstered in beautiful white linen, the old lady who rented the apartment to him had a long story about how her daughter had sewn the cushion covers herself. 

“I don’t want you to do that. I want to satisfy you. How can I satisfy you whenever I’m around?” 

The little wrinkle between Sebastian’s eyes wiggles around. He’s obviously trying to turn this oddly shaped idea around in his head. “Well you can’t. You’re not up for it when I want it. No, let me finish,” he says as Charles opens his mouth, “I can tell. You’re playing with the computer or the sim, and sometimes you pretend to sleep.” 

“I don’t pretend to sleep.”

“No you do, sometimes you’re lying in bed with your phone and when I come close you close your eyes and do this.” He rests his head on the back of the couch in a very fake impression of Charles sleeping, eyes closed and uneven deliberate breathing. Indeed it is obvious when someone is pretending to sleep. He used to do that when he wasn’t in the mood to play with Arthur on Sunday mornings. To his surprise Sebastian is smarter than Arthur was. “Just let me jerk off when I need to. We have sex twice a week if it’s a race weekend… I think that’s normal.” 

And on the off weeks--nothing. Hangs in the air. Charles considers. He’s perfectly happy on those weeks, using the sim, shopping at Le Metropole with Lorenzo, making up for lost time with all the pants and sneakers he could only admire as a boy, encouraging his friends to hit on strangers at the clubs. 

“What do you do when it’s not race week?” He’s not sure if he wants to know the answer. Sebastian had never asked him not to find other partners, in turn he felt like he couldn’t ask either. 

“Jerk off.” He’s turning red which is strange and new. They’ve seen each other in every stage of undress. Perhaps there are still parts of Sebastian on the inside that he’s never touched. “I’m going to jerk off anyway. Why does it bother you so much whether it’s because we’re not together or because you’re not in the mood?”

“But is it enough?” 

“Charles, I don’t know what you want to hear. Do I sit with my dildo beside me,” he waves in his Charles’ direction,  “and watch TV for an hour before asking it to go to bed, and put it inside me, and then prop it up on the pillow for a chat before I fall asleep? I don’t. And if you must know I prefer you. But it’s what it is. You’re in Monaco, I’m in Bern.”

“Doesn’t it bother you that we’re in Austria for the whole two weeks and we hardly…”

“No. Yes. It would be nice if we could… more. But I know you’re tired. Please just let me watch this. I’ll be fine.” He picks up the pen and notebook again. On TV they’ve moved on to the system administrator whose matcha chiffon is stubbornly failing to rise. 

Sebastian tries to take notes as the judges discuss the failings of the cake but he’s doing it half-heartedly as though he were thinking about something else. Charles knows this because he’s writing verbatim, as though his ear were connected to his hand, the way he did in briefings when he was upset, none of Mattia’s feedback actually connecting in his head, silent and wishing it were over. 

Tired isn’t how he’d describe himself. He strokes the space between them, the rough weave of the linen is just slightly unpleasant but he can’t touch Sebastian’s hand. He’s upset his balance and needs to let his internal gyroscope settle. 

The light and noise of the TV washes over them like a numbing balm. 

When they slide into bed he waits for Sebastian to touch his waist or the back of his neck but he doesn’t. It feels disappointing, like a play when the gun gets waved around but doesn’t go off. Something’s wrong. 

[paulrennie]

ManPlan • Architectural Review • 1969/1970

In 1969, the Architectural Review published a sequence of eight issues which explored the themes of urban design framed from a humanist perspective - this was called Manplan...

I’m not sure if I saw these magazines back then, I would have been about 12 years old. I was definitely aware of something exciting happening. I saw it being built, locally, in the new Surrey University campus at Stag Hill, Guildford, with its new buildings by Maguire and Murray etc. And in the new shops and advertising of the life-style revolution of the late 1960s.

These issues of the Architectural Review combine my interests in architecture and graphic design as an expression of progressive and humanist modernism. The explicit structural critique of the profession also reminds me of Godard’s investigations into the politics of combining words and images, and sounds. Quite a lot of Manplan, looks like stills from Weekend (1967).

I’ve posted before about Picture Post’s Plan for Britain (1941) 

https://paulrennie.rennart.co.uk/post/115027493435/a-plan-for-britain-o-ww2-o-1941

and about the ABCA posters designed by Abram Games and Frank Newbould

https://paulrennie.rennart.co.uk/post/664582609165336576/abca-ww2-posters-1942

and here is something I wrote previously for the 20C Society about the typographic style of the Festival of Britain (1951)

https://www.are.na/block/3162649

Architectural Review

The Architectural Review is a landmark in the history of graphic design, for over a century the most influential journal of record for a profession whose methods have always been, essentially, graphic. Before the advent of the computer, sketches and annotated drawings were the principal means of expression and communication for architects – at the drawing board and working with colleagues, the industry and their clients. In its interests and obsessions, the Review combined the inclinations of a gentleman amateur with an intellectual’s curiosity for the new – a process that its editors described in 1947 as “hacking its own way up the ice-slope of modern experience.” For many years – particularly during the period from the 1930s to the late 1960s – the magazine’s typography and layout were a brilliant reflection of its many-sided and paradoxical attitudes and interests.

Richard Hollis #eyemagazine 28

Manplan 1969

They may have been a circulation disaster, but The Architectural Review’s special ‘Manplan’ issues, which began in 1969, stand as a perverse triumph of editorial conception and design. Like the concrete buildings of the period, the approach was uncompromising. The magazine * (to the horror of some of its senior staff) turned its back on large-format heroic photography of buildings, and embraced a grainy, 35mm black-and-white reportage aesthetic where people were as important as places. The rather lofty aim of the series was to ‘redefine’ architecture and planning for the 1970s: Manplan 1 set out to document ‘frustration’ in British society.

From the AR’s office in Victoria’s Queen Anne’s Gate, editor Tim Rock and designers Michael Reid and Peter Baistow behaved as though they were the British embodiment of Life magazine, driven on by the Review’s Directing Editor and part-owner H. de C. Hastings. The best contemporary photographers were commissioned (Patrick Ward, Ian Berry, Tony Ray-Jones) and an army of photographic printers was kept busy producing 15 x 12 inch black and white prints.

Manplan 1 is a relentless document. It tells its story through pictures, with just a line of Rockwell text marching across each spread and some extended captions. There are full-page pictures, double-page spread pictures and extra-wide gatefold pictures. Small images sit framed in a sea of black. It’s a tactile experience, too: Harrisons, the magazine’s printers, used a special matt-black ink to make the printed photographs look even more dense and dramatic. The Architectural Review’s Manplan 1 is a reminder of a time when magazines lived dangerously.

Simon Esterson + Peter Baistow #eyemagazine 54

The eight issues of Manplan

#01 Frustration 09/69 AR871

#02 Society is its Contact 10/69 AR872

#03 Town Workshop 11/69 AR873

#04 The Continuing Community 01/70 AR875

#05 Religion 03/70 AR877

#06 Health and Welfare 05/70 AR879

#07 Local Government 07/70 AR881

#08 Housing 09/70 AR883

Notes

Architectural Review, 1969, Manplan editorial

https://www.architectural-review.com/archive/manplan-archive/manplan-frustration

Richard Hollis, Eye Magazine 28, Building a Graphic Language

https://www.eyemagazine.com/feature/article/building-a-graphic-language

[foggyzippercreatorland]

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[purplesurveys]

1516

Do you pre-order video games? I’m not that into video games to the point of pre-ordering them. The only game I’ve done this for is In the Seom hah.

When was the last time you washed your hair? Yesterday afternoon before heading out to see friends.

Who is the closest other person to you? Angela.

Does PDA bother you? Not really. There are particular behaviors I get irritated by, like babyspeak and making out in public unless you’re at a bar or club (because why?), but people holding hands or pecking or whatever doesn’t bother me in the slightest.

Who was the last person to send you a message? That would be Reena, who responded to a meme I sent earlier this afternoon.

Do you like Metallica? I like a handful of songs but I’m nowhere near being a fan.

What color is your hair, naturally? Black.

Do you own any makeup from Victoria's Sceret? My sister does and I will borrow her stash sometimes, but I don’t own any makeup products of my own.

Who was the last person that said "hello" to you? Hmmm my grandma and cousin when we came over this morning.

Do you know anyone with the last name Little? You’re certainly not going to encounter such a Western-sounding surname much where I live.

When was the last time you drove? Last night.

Have you ever failed a drivers test? Nope. Almost, because the car that was provided for my driving test was shit, but the instructor passed me and just gave me a ton of tips and reminders to make up for it lol.

Can you do a perfect cartwheel? I can’t. I tried a lot as a kid but I had a few near-injuries from attempting so I stopped and just never learned how to.

Who was the last person to insult you? Hans, as a joke. It was hilarious because we were a convoy going to Pop-Up last night (they were behind my car) and he was telling me how slow I was in taking a u-turn HAHAHAHA. In my defense this shitty country has no streetlights ANYWHERE so I couldn’t tell where the curb was!

What was the last song you listened to? With You by Jimin and Ha Sungwoon.

Do you have a channel on YouTube? Yes.

If you keep tabs, what is the second most visited website on your computer? I dunno if my laptop can track that. Maybe a social media website? Can you whistle with your fingers in your mouth? Nopes.

Have you ever tasted Carl's Jr. Portobello Mushroom Burger? We don’t even have Carl’s Jr. here.

What was the last concert you went to? Paramore. I’ve watched a handful of virtual concerts since but I won’t be counting those.

Are you planning on going anywhere tonight? Definitely not at this hour. It’s 11 PM on a Sunday and I have a meeting first thing tomorrow lol.

Do you like reading? No, not so much anymore.

When was the last time you cracked your knuckles? Now. This question made me want to.

Are you that type of person that is constantly touching their hair? Yeah. It’s really thick and I constantly have to put it behind my ears.

What time is it currently on your computer clock? 11:25 PM.

What was the last glass object you touched? My coffee mug. What was the last suggestion someone gave you? Something work related. I don’t want to think about it now. Are you going to take that suggestion? I did.

Can you type really fast? Yep.

Do you like to go shopping? No.

[portfolioed]

Northern Line

This story won the 2016 Winston Fletcher Fiction Prize. My sincere thanks to the committee.

I ran away but I didn’t run.

It’s not like that song me Da played about the runaway, and the guy takes care of her and keeps her safe. No fucker’s doing that for me.

I knew where the bastard kept the money. So, cool as you like, I took it and walked out, jumped on the bus to Piccadilly, bought a ticket to London and fucked off.

But I didn’t run.

*

My Da was a drunk but he was never mean. He still managed to get himself locked-up, but it was like something out of Frank Spencer.

He’d passed-out somewhere off Rusholme. When he was out a mugging took place in the same alley. He fitted the description and wore similar clothes to the mugger. The lawyer made him sound like a drunk. Which he was. But he wasn’t bad.

That was a year ago. Since then me and Carl have been in the home. It’s shit.

When he wasn’t fuckin’ drunk me Da was clever, funny. He knew things and we would talk. He told me about books to read, we listened to records together all the time and he knew about politics and stuff like that.

I did well at school, but now I’m not even going.

Me mum I never knew.

*

I listened to New Order, The Paragons and Talking Heads all the way down to London. One thing my Da gave me was decent records. I taped them and left them with Carl.

I thought London would be amazing compared to Manchester. Buckingham Palace and all that shite.

But London was a shithole too.

Victoria coach station was full of junkies and weirdoes so I got the fuck out of there.

In W H Smith I bought a Standard to find jobs and somewhere to fuckin live and an NME. I chose Belsize Park because of the Marillion song Kayleigh. I found it on the black line — Northern. That made me smile. Northern. Like me.

I read the paper on the way and circled the places near Belsize Park — there was a few. A punk got off at Camden Town. The rest of the carriage was empty.

Punks are losers my Da says.

*

At Belsize Park I call the agent from the payphone outside the tube and he gives me directions. He had a strong accent and said he is from Cyprus.

When I got there he looked at me like ‘What the fuck you doin ere’, but didn’t say shite. He was short, fat and bald with a little mustache. He showed me around the shittty bedsits and talked about Cyprus.

‘In Cyprus we don’t live like this,’ he said ‘You know your neighbours and you could leave your door open. Not like here,’ he says.

‘Why don’t you go back?’ I says.

‘Opportunity,’ he says after a bit.

‘But look. This is good. Not like Victoria or Kings Cross. This area OK.’

He showed me a room with a window overlooking a small park. ‘It’s the biggest still free — you have for the same price,’ he said. ‘How old are you?’

‘Seventeen,’ I lied.

‘I need one month advance and another month and you can move in today,’ he said.

I got him down on the price a bit. My Da says never pay first price then I paid the money. It was a fuck of a lot but I had the cash so fuck it. I was happy. I got him to give me a receipt and he gave me the keys and everything.

When we sorted everything he asks ‘Your accent? Where are you from?’

‘Manchester,’ I says. ‘I’m not going back.’

*

The room was empty, grey, depressing. I bought paint and a roller at the hardware shop on the corner and found towels, cutlery and bedsheets at the charity shop further down the hill and got a beer from the newsagents. I never had trouble getting served.

I painted the walls and then opened the window and sat on the floor and watched the sun set.

Not as cold as fucking Manchester anyway.

*

The next day I spend the morning calling the numbers in the paper and Loot to find work. A couple are agencies. I have to work out what the fuck ‘agency’ means. A few asks me to come in. I tell them I can type and can work computers. I can’t do fucking either but how fuckin hard can it be?

I put on my best Angela Rippon at the interviews. They fuckin love it, and one lot tell me I can start at some government organisation in Victoria in the morning. They didn’t ask me fuckin shite or test me or anything.

I spend the rest of the day visiting places I heard about in London. Carnaby Street is a dump, full of shite t-shirt shops. Soho is better, with some decent clothes shops and good record shops. I take the bus home when it hits me. Home. My first ever that’s mine. Home.

I celebrate by puttin up posters from the NME. There’s a good pic of Sinead O’Connor and one of Adamski, who’s been number one for ages.

Time to call Carl.

*

One time when I got the hiccups and my da said I shouldn’t worry about drinking out the other side of the glass or that shite, but I should hold my breath till I blow one off.

‘What?’ I says, and he says ‘Yeah — this actually fuckin works innnit so try. Hiccups is annoying so sort it out.’

So I did.

My Da, Carl and some others were there — the house was always full of fuckin people. Anyway. I sat there holding my breath and concentrated until I could squeeze one out.

I had my eyes closed and when I opened them my Da was there, right in front of me, and he says, ‘So you OK?’ I says, ‘I think so.’

‘So you farted then?’ he says. ‘Not very ladylike,’ and he had this fuckin smarmy look. And everyone starts fuckin laffin’ and crackin’ up.

I’m fuckin livid and I says ‘I fuckin didn’t!’ and everyone starts crackin’ up again.

I’m thinkin now that this is a fuckin trick and I’m fuckin pissed off. Right pissed off.

Then my Da says, ‘Well, you ain’t fuckin’ hiccupping any more.’

For a minute I just fuckin sat there and wondered what the fuck.

But it was true — the hiccups had gone. Once I realised, I had this moment when I just couldn’t believe it and yes — the fuckin hiccups had gone and I started crackin up too.

Carl was only little then and he was fuckin crying he was laughin so much. I’m thinking of that now, and I cry a little for my Da and because it was so fuckin funny.

Then I look around. Everyone on the bus has their Walkmans on and shite. So I squeeze one out. Nobody will think a lady done it.

*

My brother Carl is younger than me but sensible. He don’ get in fuckin trouble like I do. He’s stronger than me. He hated the home but he could survive better than me. He didn’t get shit from people all fuckin day like I got. He didn’t come under the bastard’s attention. He didn’t suffer in the same way. But he still wanted out. I’ll get him out.

I dialled the number. The bastard answered. ‘Parkview?’ it did overlook a park, but the park was too dangerous to go into.

I gave it my best newsreader. ‘Can I speak to Carl Banham please?’

There was a pause. He was thinking about the consequences of the question.

‘Who’s askin’?’ he says.

‘It’s social services. We have information about his father’s case.’ I took extra care to pronounce the ‘aitch’ properly.

‘Why don’t you ask about Ellen? You know she’s gone?’ he says.

‘I’m afraid I can’t discuss that with you. We are looking into allegations Miss Banham has made about the running of Parkview,’ I paused here, nervous.

‘Can you put Carl on please?’ I says. Bullies respond to bullying my Da says. Still, my heart was racing because I knew that he knew it was me.

‘Wait a min,’ he said. I couldn’t read anything in his voice.

I waited and looked at the graffiti around the payphone. There was a smiley face and the word ‘Shoom’ Someone else had written ‘RAMPLING IS GOD’. I didn’t know Rampling. A footballer?

Someone I didn’t see left by the front door. The wait can’t have been more than two minutes.

‘‘Ello?’

‘Carl? Is that Carl Banham?’ I squeaked, the accent wobbling.

‘Ummm, yeah? Who wants to know?’ he asked.

I kept it up for a second longer. ‘Can you hold the line please, we have someone to speak to you,’ I said in my best newsreader.

‘Dad?’ said Carl.

‘Carl don’t freak out it’s me Ellie.’ I said, letting my real voice slip back. ‘Don’t say anything.’ I could hear him breathe in. ‘If you can talk, say ‘Yes Miss’ and if you can’t, say ‘I don’t think so Miss’.’

There was a pause. ‘It’s fine. Where are you?’

‘London. I’m gettin’ meself sorted out. I’m not comin’ back. You OK? Sorry about leavin’ like tha’.’

‘He went mental. He says you took money. It were fucking great,’ he said.

I smiled, then started to worry. ‘Did he hurt you?’

‘A bit, but it was worth it. Look I’m fine. OK?’

We talk for a good few minutes. Carl’s fine and everything has blown over I think. I miss him and worry about him. I tell him I took the wanker’s money and he laughs.

I ask Carl, “Who’s Rampling? Is he a footballer?’

‘Who? I dunno. Look…’ a pause. ‘I don’t think so Miss.’

‘OK. Look. I’m going to get you out, but it might take a while. I’ll call next week. Wait at the phonebox by the newsagents at the same time and we can talk then. But I’m alri’.’

He didn’t reply.

‘Love you Carl.’

‘Yes Miss.’

*

First day at work was fuckin’ amazing. The Government department is The Lord Chancellor’s Department and apparently my job is to do fuck-all.

My boss is Lorraine who is very fat and complains about everything in the office — the carpet, the windows, the computer. Everything. She says even the building has ‘sick building syndrome’ which means it makes everyone depressed. I fuckin’ laugh. How can someone get a building built that’s basically completely shite? Must have cost a fortune. How is that even possible?

Down the corridor from Lorraine is Mike who is the Union rep. He reminds me of my Da. He says I should join the Union and then I can get to strike if things get to that. I said sign me up.

Mike does literally nothing. He has terrible eyesight and the computer has a screen to make the words fuckin massive so he can see them.

When he’s not talking the Union or arguing with Lorraine he watchin’ this thermometer to see how warm it is. He says if it goes above 26 degrees then everyone’s out.

It’s difficult to see exactly what everyone is supposed to be doing. I do some ‘filing’ which means putting a load of files in date order. It’s a piece of piss but boring. Lorraine says I’m good and I’ll be doing more tomorrow.

When tomorrow comes Lorraine says the first day was to see if I could tell my arse from my elbow and now I was onto the big stuff.

She says to follow her, and she waddles like fuckin Daffy Duck to another part of the building and she opens a door. ‘What you think?’ she says. It’s a big room full of fuckin files. I mean full. Hundreds — thousands maybe.

‘You can say no,’ says Lorraine.

‘It looks ace, I says.

*

Life is strange. I had worked in Kwik Save on the weekends and the evenings but that was about it.

When Da got sent down I left school because it was too heavy. When I told Da he went fuckin mental. I was good at school. He said I was clever. I don’t feel clever.

Now I’m working in London for this fuckin government department and I don’t even fuckin know what the department fuckin does. My job is so fuckin easy a proper wally could do it in his sleep.

But it’s mine.

*

I go to work, I come home and I listen to my Walkman or wander around London. Tonight I put on Rum, Sodomy and The Lash. I remember seeing The Pogues on TV and I didn’t get it at all. Playing fuckin Irish music? Fuck that. And their singer looked like he was, what? Fuckin dead?

My Da fuckin loved them and made me listen to it over and over. Some albums you get sick of but this is bulletproof and gets better and better. He sings about drinkin’, war and rovin’, whatever the fuck that is, and it’s fuckin ace. I’ve listened to it a million times and I’m nowhere near sick of it.

Tonight I walk to Camden and there are posters of smiley faces everywhere and for Shoom. So it’s a night? Rampling is on the same poster. He’s the DJ?

*

At work there’s a canteen. I eat there and read NME or Melody Maker. I catch more about Rampling and the nights in London. They play this electronic music. I don’t get it. But people are losing their shit about these fuckin parties.

Dave comes up. He’s one of Mike’s cronies and helps him with the Union. He’s younger than most of the others here but still loads older than me. He sees me reading the NME and he’s reading over my shoulder.

‘Can I help you,’ I says.

‘Have you been then,’ he says, his eyes wide.

‘What?’

‘Shoom, Future, The Trip..’ he says.

‘No I says.’

‘Come — we’re gonna go to The Trip on Saturday.’

‘Umm. I don’t think so,’ I says.

‘If you change your mind you know where I am,’ he says.

He’s not moved. ‘What’s it like,’ I says.

‘The best fackin thing I have ever been to or ever done in my whole fackin life.’

He’s a Londoner or from Essex and speaks like Del Boy.

I ask Lorraine about him. ‘Oh he’s a sweetheart — a nice boy,’ she says.

Maybe I should go.

*

Dave picks me up at 6 on the Saturday.

From the outside my place looks fuckin’ amazing, only looks like a shithole from the inside. What the fuck he thinks about me and what I’m doing, fuck knows.

He’s with two friends — a girl and a boy. Both are friendly. Anyway, he says there’s a change of plan and we are not going to Shoom or whatever, but to a rave in a field.

I’m less than delighted and think about diving out. He sees my face and says ‘It’ll be fun. Honest.’

Off we go.

*

On the M25 we stop at service stations to get directions and make calls from payphones. I have no fucking idea where I am. We go to about three different ones to make calls when we see some other cars and Dave says, ‘They know’, pointing.

‘You know where the party is?’ shouts Dave. They say to follow.

Half an hour later we are in the middle of fuckin nowhere in a convoy of cars and things look totally shite.

Ten minutes of drivin through fields and suddenly there’s music. Or not music, just boom-boom-boom of a drum.

Suddenly there’s excitement. We park. There are cars fuckin everywhere, all parked any which way. Everyone legs it towards the music.

I don’t know what the fuck’s going. I follow.

There’s a small valley, full of loudspeakers, a stage, lights and hundreds, maybe thousands, of people, all dancing like mad.

What the fuck?

*

The music is all loud and thump-thump-thump. Everyone looks mental.

*

Dave comes back over smoking a menthol cigarette, chewing gum like mad and glass-eyed.

‘How you enjoying it?’ he says.

‘It’s fun,’ I says. It was fun.

‘So what’s your story?’

‘I ran away from my care home. I need to get my shit together. Then I can get my brother out too.’

‘Care home? How old are you?’

‘Fifteen.’

He stares at me. ‘FIFTEEN?’

He just stares, chewing. I feel small, like I’ve admitted to too much.

After a while he takes a drag on his ciggy and his eyes roll into his head. He says, ‘You are the luckiest person here. Easily the youngest too. Look around you. The world is changing and it starts here. You’ve got a headstart.’

He came and gave me a hug. He was all sweaty. He hugged me like a brother and I started to think that everything was going to be better.

I didn’t cry. I don’t cry. But I felt happy. Hopeful.

[universityconsulate]

I'm also a son of Marine Parade. I've spent roughly 30 years living in the Marine Parade community heralded by former Prime and Senior Minister Emeritus Goh Chok Tong

Most of my besties came from Haig road, as well as the building blocks of Marine Drive, Marine Terrace, Marine Crescent and the Mandarin Gardens, which is situated just next to Victoria JC. That's exactly where I used to live, along the east coast beach frontier, facing Batam Island of Indo

I had attended Marine Parade kindergarten, which is a five minutes walk to the Marine Parade Library

I took technical classes at Tanjong Katong Secondary Tech. School aka TK Tech, which was also situated along Haig road. I learnt a jumble of practical skills on how to produce household essentials made out of scant materials like epoxy resin, acrylics, plywood, aluminium and alloy sheets. We had to do a variety of hands-on tasks such as measuring distances and gradient, drilling of holes, hot pressing or moulding the required shapes, soldering joints, shaving grain, woodworking, riveting nuts, buffering corners, filing edges, all of which employed a variety of tools like the triple bit mill-drill machine, mould plates, wood planer, chisel, mallet, hacksaw, G-clamp, rivets, file tool, sandpaper, protective goggle, navy blue apron etc.... We made plates, soap dishes, paper weights and shoehorns out of epoxy, as well as platters and ashtrays produced from alloy. Other creations included simple machine crafted products like stools and benches that came from lumber stacked in the workshop. We all had bits of shite stuck to our faces and had to do a great deal of sanitizing thereafter

Right after having finished middle school, I attended a great private college called Informatics Computer School, it's building located at Parkway Parade, which is the name of the main shopping district. The Parkway buildings you see above had everything I needed from department stores to language schools, a book house, billiard centre, fitness club, health centre, a video games room that comes with slot machines, coffee bars, tea houses, western and local eateries, facial centres, hair salons, ktv, etc......, but no disco. It was the best school in the world. It was the kind of environment that would prepare you for life dealing with all types of real people and businesses but not public school bullies or gangsters. In public schools, you had to become one of them to avoid getting pummeled

As a student here I was like this regal, a big gaffer and everybody would get to know me. I could even have my personal lecturers to help complete my projects. Nobody would say no here