#Crack Drabble

[screamingcrows]

Note: enjoy another 50 word shitpost that grew limbs and ran from me. Fem reader, domestic in a way I'd define as crack when involving this man. Suggestive, minors dni

Dottore strode up behind you, having forgone his boots meant you were wholly unprepared when his chin came to hover over your shoulder. Firm hands held you by your hips, minimising the damage your jolt could've caused.

"Jumpy as ever, I see. How your distrust wounds me, darling," his voice was low, whispered against the shell of your ear as he pulled you a little closer.

It was impossible to resist, his hands already squeezing the soft flesh. Reverence through inquiry, thumbs already mapping the curve of your spine, dedicated to commit every minute detail to memory.

"That's not fair, I was concentrating!"

A content smile grazed his features when your hand released the strainer, wet fingers tracing his jaw. The residue was icky, but he always found himself willing to endure, chapped lips wrapping around your finger and tasting the sweetness blooming on his tongue. He chuckled when you pulled your hand back, any attempt to flick his forehead easily dodged.

"You've been slaving away all morning, join me for a little relaxation hm? It was, after all, you who instisted I take a day away from my duties here and there," His eyes fell on the counter, inspecting the mess you'd made, sticky liquid having dripped everywhere as you poured from the large pot, various flowers submerged in the water.

It had been a strange request, having a kitchen fashioned in his private quarters, but who were the rest to deny him anything? And who would he have been to deny you, having asked so sweetly for tools to spoil him?

"Zandik, you're not exactly making this easier," your voice was much too gentle for his ears, intent on smothering your protest, he brought a hand to tug at your hair before connecting his lips to yours.

Grinding against you was all too easy, willingly drowning in your honeyed presence. All too soon did you push back a little too sharply against his groin, a groan escaping him, sharp teeth nipping at your lip in warning. Only when his breath was shaky did he pull away, looking fondly at your grin, the pad of his thumb tracing over your bottom lip, barely resisting the urge to push it in.

"How about you leave this little project for later, join me for something else instead?"

It was impossible to resist leaning down to nibble at the curvature of your neck, blood flowing steadily under the skin. How easy it would be to stop, the mere thought igniting a low fury in his gut, hand all the more gentle as it cupped your throat, keeping you steady as he mouthed at you.

"Can't, I'm in the middle of straining, we'll have lemonade for weeks once I'm done. Ah- and I have to get the pie in the oven or it'll be done too late..."

"Too late?" he took a deep breath before reluctantly parting from your skin, stepping back and cocking his head.

Had he forgotten something? Surely he'd have remembered if today was a special occasion. At the very least written it down somewhere he would notice?

"The ladies are coming over in half an hour, thought it was fitting now that everyone is back for a time,"

"The ladies? Surely you're not-"

"Columbina, Arlecchino, Signora, hell even Sandrone agreed," the way you beamed almost tempered his annoyance.

He caught himself grumbling under his breath, reluctantly stepping back. So the sweets weren't even intended for him, the realisation more bitter than it should've been. He couldn't always be the object of your affection. No way he was dealing with them.

"I'll be in the lab, tell The Marionette to," he gestured vaguely around the room, "keep her hands off my things. I'll know if anything is missing or tampered with."

Remaining disgruntled was impossible when you giggled so earnestly, the sound infectious enough that his heart swelled.

"I promise I'll make it up to you tonight, a little dessert perhaps?"

He wanted to scoff at the horrendous attempt at flirting, but it was difficult to properly bite back, not with how your words still managed to make his ears burn hot as he left. You'd be the death of him.

[throneofsapphics]

RowAelin in falling in love with the palace healer? 👀 they are trained killers but god they can’t get enough of her? Sometimes even they will make sure that in the next sparing sesh that one or both of them gets hurt so they have an excuse to see her 👀👀👀👀 or even that at one point Aelin sees her helping somone else and gets jealous and straight up looks Rowan in the eye while she stabs herself and he’s like AH while running her to the healer while she smiles HEHEHEHHEH

any reason

Rowaelin x f!Reader 

Summary: Aelin will find any reason to visit the palace healer. 

Warnings: self-inflicted injuries, blood, not proofread as usual

A/N: I love this, Aelin is SO chaotic, it’s just a lil drabble based on part of the prompt! maybe i’ll write a longer version later, thank you for the request!

Aelin had a wicked look on her face as she raised her knife, flipping it in her palm. 

“Aelin,” Rowan groaned. “Please don’t Fireheart.” 

She shrugged, stabbing the tip of the knife into her forearm - in a completely non-lethal place, but deep enough it would require healing. 

“For fucks sake,” he cursed under his breath as she wiped the blood off on her pants, heading directly for the healers quarters. One specific healer - that she knew was on duty. Then again, they both always knew when she was working. Aelin had even stolen a copy of the healer’s schedules. 

He grumbled under his breath but followed after her. He wouldn’t turn down a perfectly good chance to see y/n. 

-

“You’re ridiculous.” Y/n groaned as Aelin walked in with a grin on her face, holding her arm out. She sent the Queen a small smile. 

“Careful how you speak of your Queen,” Aelin teased. 

“Apologies, your Majesty.” She dropped into an exaggerated curtesy. “I swear, I think you do this on purpose sometimes.” She huffed, but gathered the necessary supplies. First, she carefully washed the wound - ignoring Aelin’s winces, before throwing a particularly strong cleansing tonic over it, and finally using her magic to heal the small but deep cut. She could’ve sworn Aelin let out a moan, and she ducked her head to hide the blush forming on her cheeks. 

“How did you get that?” She asked, finally lifting her head to look at her. She spotted Rowan in the corner, leaning back against the doorway. Of course, she wouldn’t complain about seeing them - but sometimes she wondered why they didn’t just heal themselves or each other. 

Aelin flicked her eyes towards Rowan, who pinned her with an exasperated look. Maybe it was self-inflicted. 

“A secret,” she gave a small smile and y/n didn’t question any further. 

“You’re all set,” she told her after examining the space one last time. No scar, either. 

“I could kiss you.” Aelin hummed, and y/n shot an alarmed glance to Rowan, who only raised one brow, as if to say I don’t care. She swallowed and ignored it. The queen ran her hand down her forearm, squeezing her hand. “Thank you,” her mouth curved up at one side and y/n got the opinion Aelin knows exactly what her words and touch do to her. “See you next time,” she said cheerily, rising and leaving the room. Rowan gave her a polite nod, and followed her from the room.

[dreaming-of-lu]

Hello there! Can I get a compilation of Wild being💅 sassy💅to Legend and Legend responding with his own ✨Spicy remarks✨

Y'all can't sit there and tell me that they do not brotherly bully each other cause they do. They are the kings of sass. I did a tad bit of it, not much a compilation, but ya know, at least there's something adhfjasdf Word Count: 283

"Whaddya mean 'he's in jail'?!" Twilight blinked in disbelief as he stared down at what was supposed two people, but instead, it was only one, and that one was Wild. The champion sheepishly smiled under the firm gaze set on him, slowly shrinking in on himself when the ranch-hand's brow furrowed deep.

"We- uhm, didn't expect it to go south, to be honest," Wild scratches the back of his head with a shaky grin. Twilight throws his hands in the air, settling them back on his hips with a heavy sigh and a shake of his head.

"Ordona, give me patience," he muttered lowly.

"It could be…worse?" Wild offered meekly.

"IT SH-," A voice piped up from behind, cutting the older hero off,

"What is with all this yelling?"

"Not now, Legen-," Twilight halts in his words, blinking rapidly before reeling on his heel with a slack jaw. There stood the veteran, looking bored, unhurt, and in the flesh. He blinked in confusion at the confuddled stares that graced him; his brows creased when the shock silence dragged on. Their gaze made him shift on his feet, skin crawling the longer they stared at him, getting antsy even when none said a word.

"What?" He snapped.

"Yo-you're supposed to be in jail!" Wild points.

"Yeah, and you're supposed to be dumpster diving for ham scraps, you six-piece chicken mcnobody." Legend snips.

"Legend!"

------------

"Geeze, you looked like you personally fist-fought a Lynel," Wild eyed the mess that framed the veteran's head. "At least, I didn't roll out the bed looking like one, unlike you," he passed him and continued on his way to the bathroom downstairs in the inn. "Well, damn," Warriors whistled, "that was brutal."

[warriorofyapping]

I'm not over that Urianger sticking a rat in Takara's pocket so have this crack drabble

Takara can't stop the ecstatic yell that rips from his throat when he finally makes the last jump of the tower. "YES! FINALLY!"

His fellows cheer and he nearly keels over as he breathes heavily, Thancred's heavy hand on his back the only thing stopping him from toppling over.

"Good work!" His boyfriend hums, a bright smile on his face. Sighing heavily, Takara nods again, leaning against him as his lips part to speak.

He's cut off, however, when Urianger slides up to his other side, an arm wrapping around him. The action makes the au'ra freeze, looking down at his friend in surprise. The elezen didn't initiate such touch often, so he certainly isn't going to complain about it, it's just...shocking.

"Congratulations!" He starts, nothing in his voice signaling he had anything up his sleeve. "I knew thou had it within thee all along."

Takara melts a bit at that, smiling, and he leans against his friend.

"Thank you, Urian-"

Before he can finish his words, a startled yelp is pulled from him as Urianger's hand suddenly goes into his pocket. Squirming instinctively, he shoves the other slightly, a feint pink tinge dusting his cheeks.

"Urianger!!"

Urianger just laughs, Thancred following suit, the traitor, and he wants to yell at them both now. Any words he may have said die on his tongue, however, when he feels something move in his pocket. Tail lashing, he quickly leaps away from the two, careful enough not to throw himself off the tower, but not careful enough to not fall on his ass on the hard wood. Shoving his hand into his pocket, he shudders at the feeling of squirming fur and quickly pulls the culprit out.

A tiny rat sits in his hand, staring up at him with big, beady eyes.

...

"YOU PUT A RAT IN MY POCKET?!"

Urianger just grins, eyes twinkling with mischief. "I thought thou would like a reward for thy success?"

"Oh I'll show you a reward-"

Scrambling back to his feet, he starts towards Urianger, only for a cackling Thancred to quickly wrap his arms around his waist, holding him back. Takara yells and thrashes while Urianger laughs, clearly pleased with himself. Meanwhile, the tiny rat that had been unwillingly been shoved into his pocket simply sits on his shoulder, not a thought in those beady little eyes.

[list4r]

“Baby- it’s too hot for this shit, cut it out.” Toji grumbles as you once again, cling to him. It’s the hottest night of the summer and Toji is probably sweating in every crevice in his body. It doesn’t make it better when you cling to him like a koala. He tries to move you gently, just wanting a little room between your bodies. That turns into a failure as you tangle your legs together with his, only holding onto him tighter. Don’t get him wrong, he loves when you two cuddle. But not when it was hotter than any hell.

He finally gets a sense of relief when he hears the shuffle of the sheets behind him. The bed feels a little lighter and the room gets a little too quiet. Toji turns around and furrows his brows. “The fuck?” He leans over the edge of the bed and sees you lying on the floor with a pillow.

“What are you doing down there?” No answer so he tried again. “Baby get off the floor, that can’t be comfortable.”

“No you hate me.”

That causes him to scoff. “When did I say that shit?”

“You didn’t want to cuddle me.”

“It’s like a million fuckin’ degrees in here. It’s not because of you, I just don’t want to sweat my balls off.”

“Kay.”

So you really weren’t going to come back to bed and that causes him to raise an eyebrow. He stares at your back for a few minutes before getting up and sitting on the edge of the bed, running a hand through his hair. “You can get off the floor now, I’ll hold you… or whatever.” When he gets no answer he sighs loudly. “Fuckin’ fine.”

That’s how the both of you end up on the floor with your arms and legs wrapped around him. You basically use him as a pillow, but it’s okay. As long as you’re comfortable and happy he’s fine with a little back ache and sweat. “Lucky I love you…” Toji mutters before placing a kiss on your head and closing his eyes with a quiet sigh, but you don’t miss the slight upturn of his lips.

[textmel8r]

[ SMAU ] 𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐃𝐘 ! in which you call the jujutsu kaisen men daddy as a prank .

↝ incl . satoru gojo , suguru geto , kento nanami , toji fushiguro , choso kamo

↝ cw . crack , minor nsfw , profanity

↝ an . yes yes new theme new era [proud]. i have been lacking on the smaus, so while i take time to write the next installments of my series, i thought i’d go back to my roots

↝ join my discord server! we share headcanons, fanfic recs, color roles, and more drooling emoji

likes and reblogs are appreciated !

[inmaki]

gojo showing off your back scratches to geto

( cont from this fic! req, visual ) .

contains: sex talk, desc of back scratches, crack, sugu is called daddy once (as a joke.. right..)

everything was relatively peaceful in suguru's apartment. key word: relatively.

a forgettable yet appreciated sunday afternoon, not a cloud in sight despite the weather forecast predicting downpours of rain. either way, the raven-haired man insouciantly rested across his white couch, reaching the conclusion that today would be a day for self-care, relaxing, and perhaps some meditation.

there was only one thing ruining his peace.

all morning, suguru has been forced to try and ignore the stain a certain someone has left on his couch — a pair of unecessarily expensive yet dirty shoes being the culprit.

despite these attempts, every once in a while his gaze can't help but wander over at the mark — as if it'd poof out of existence if he glared hard enough.

"fuckin' asshole.." he mutters. it was a wonder his relationship with his best friend managed to stay so promising despite all their differences, yet suguru wouldn't have it any other way, even after situations like this.

right when he grumpily turns back to the tv — which was playing some crappy, low budget rom-com — his apartment door is yanked open and suguru swears he nearly jumps out of his seat.

great, was this it? was he about to get robbed, perhaps evicted? and then probably die? forced into the afterlife knowing gojo's shoe-shit was still on his new couch? no that can't—

"i fucked her!"

suguru whips his head towards the apartment door, announcement being disregarded as he nearly groans in agony. speak of the devil.

big blue eyes peak out from under circular sunglasses, one hand already raised in preparation for a dap up while his stupid, big, dirty shoe pushes the door closed behind him. gojo wears a black compression shirt with grey sweats, marching over to his friend with a ginormous grin across his cheeks.

"take your shoes off, now," suguru snaps, nodding to his friend's feet with a frown.

"yeesh... whatever y'say, daddy," the bastard never loses his smile as his hands raise in surrender, kicking them off by the door smoothly. "what's got your panties in a twist?"

geto pinches his nose bridge. "don't call me that," as he continues the scolding, he points to the living room with his free hand. "you got a mystery stain on my couch, satoru. do you know how many youtube videos i watched trying to get this shit off?"

unphased, gojo takes a look at the strangely colored blob against the armrest's leather material and shrugs. "my bad. did you try febreeze?"

"what— no? dude, febreeze is for.." when suguru looks back up to sourly meet his gaze, he could immediately tell the white-haired man was already drifting back into la-la-land, words going in one ear and out the other. "..nevermind. why're you here?"

at the reminder, satoru seemingly brightens, head shooting back up as if he was just told he'd won the lottery.

"oh god, don't make that stupid face—" he pauses. "the fuck are you doing?" suguru might as well say goodbye to his self-care day, because now gojo was stripping in the middle of his living room, shirt thrown haphazardly onto the still-very-much-stained couch.

"just look!" suguru squints as his friend swivels around to face the wall, pushing his bangs away to get a better view of the— oh shit.

it takes the raven-haired man a second to process what he's seeing before shuffling forward, closely examining the achingly red, bulging scratch marks displayed sexily across the latter's back and shoulders. "no way.."

suguru knows the strongest sorcerer well enough to notice how he purposely didn't use reversed cursed technique on these scratches, just so it'd be obvious to anyone that caught a glimpse of what exactly occured. to his further dismay, he can already picture a smug and sweaty gojo walking around their local gym like this, proud simper on his pretty lips as he easily raises a pair of weights in his veiny hands.

a hiss escapes geto's mouth as he runs his finger down a particularly agitated one, knowing exactly how painful they could be after experiencing many hook-ups of his own. even so, satoru only licks his lips, neck craning to the side so he can pride himself in his friend's gobsmacked expression.

"damn, these are deep. you actually hit it?" suguru confirms, raising a celebratory hand.

turning back around, satoru daps him up, a massive smirk now on both their faces. "hell yeah, it was amazing."

it was impossible to predict what gojo would do next after barging through his front door — especially considering how many times he's done so — but this has to be the last thing suguru ever expected.

not that he was complaining — in fact, all of geto's temper and need for relaxation seemingly flew out the window, the feeling of proudness for his best friend overthrowing anything else.

and even if he hated to admit it, the way gojo was so eager to come over and announce his virginity loss to him was more than a little endearing, and dare he say cute.

"that's great, man. congrats." suguru leads him into the kitchen — still shamelessly shirtless — to grab them both a can of beer in celebration. while the white-haired man usually didn't get involved with any form of alcohol, this occasion was most definitely exception-worthy. "you made y/n cum too, right?"

an offended glare is shot his way. "duh, two times."

"huh. surprised you could last."

as suguru pours their drinks into two fragile cups, gojo exhales, not bothered in the slightest by his jab. "dude, same.." he admits dreamily. "she was so fuckin' tight and warm.. and oh— fuck, her moans? heavenly.. 'can't believe i didn't bust after the first minute.."

geto gulps, trying his best to ignore the mental image his brain was producing from his dirty words. you can't blame him — both of you were smoking hot, and he was a simple man.

even now, he could already imagine what you both looked like; panting and moaning, skin-slapping so loud that it echoed through the whole room, how blissed out you'd look as gojo's cock split you in t—

satoru's playful sigh cuts through the tensing air. "who knows sugs, maybe you'll have another kind of stain to worry about next time we're over~"

he's never snapped out of a daydream so quickly. "don't even joke about that."

over the next hour, the two men sat manspread on the stained couch, taking leisure sips while recalling satoru's final moments as a virgin — suguru giving out his secret tips and tricks along the way.

maybe sometime, suguru could offer some.. hands-on learning instead.

mlist! <- sugu.. how could u think abt ur bestie and his gf like that... tsk tsk tsk (if u enjoyed reblogs/comments r appreciated heheh)

© inmaki on tumblr. all rights reserved. do not cross-post, translate, copy in any way, etc.

[rissouu]

they bond with your pet!

pairings: gojo satoru, suguru geto, toji fushiguro, megumi fushiguro, ryomen sukuna, yuji itadori, nanami kento, + choso kamo!

warnings: fluff fluff fluff :)

authors note: some random shit i was thinking abt guys so enjoyyy!

©rissouu 2024

masterlist

[unceeled]

gojo satoru has you all covered. they were not joking when they said that this man would serve and protect because not a single thing touches you, ever. and gojo satoru is proud of that, that's what he's good at: being your personal shield.

and yet, even if he were to extend his infinity to you at every hour of the day, the one thing gojo satoru could not protect you from is getting sick.

then and there, the strongest one forgets how to act. this was not something he could fight off, something he could exorcise. no. but he felt helpless watching you squirm and curl up into a ball, sneezing and coughing on your bed.

he'd do everything in his power to take care of you, of course. but it was fidgety, at best. he never got sick growing up; he wasn't aware of the procedures of this all. so... he googled.

what else was he meant to do? you refused to eat, you were coughing up something, you were shivering, your temperature extremely high, and more things he truly did not want to think that you were going through. still, it was those same things that found their way to the google search bar as gojo satoru looked desperately for anything that could make your shivering figure feel better.

comfort was the last thing he got from his trip to the internet, however. the text on his screen informed him of the demise you'd supposedly face at this rate. you were gonna get worse and he was gonna lose the light of his life... is how he understood the search result.

after spending the whole afternoon napping, you finally stir awake feeling a cool towel on your head and something dripping on your hand. you blink the sleep away for a few more moments, eyes finally focusing on the sniffling figure holding your hand.

"toru, what's going on?" you squeeze his hand back lightly. you hear an almost theatrical gasp matched with widened blue eyes and immediately become engulfed in big bulky arms.

"i thought i was gonna lose you." he sniffs, nuzzling his face in your neck. you're left puzzled but return the hug nonetheless. "what made you think that?" satoru pulls away and examines your face. "baby, it felt like you were dying on me," he exclaims, still cupping your face.

"toru, it was probably just the flu-" you are interrupted by a cough that erupts from your throat.

"see! this is what google said would happen!"

"google? satoru gojo, you consulted google? and that's why you were crying?"

"next time i'll just exorcise every germ in this world."

"if you say so, baby"

[chuluoyi]

࿐ ࿔ 🕰️ 「 05:56 P.M 」

this has been rotting in my drafts for like months :'D based on a suggestion idea a while back—how gojo will definitely land himself in a police station, and since i have no better fic to share yet, i'll just post this :')

a part of gojo's love entries

everyone—or particularly, nanami—has warned you that marrying gojo satoru is going to be far from easy.

and true, less than a month since the two of you were married, he had landed himself in a police station. police station! of all places!

still, you were worried when you got the call, but when you rushed inside the place, all your worries—

“i’m telling you! i’m innocent!”

“sir, please don’t raise your voice here!”

“YOU are raising your voice against me!”

—evaporated. because… what the hell?

satoru, looking cross as if he owned the whole precinct, sat with his legs crossed high. he wore all black and his eyes was covered by that stupid blindfold. and with that haughty attitude, if someone accused him of being a suspicious person, now you would totally understand.

you were fuming as you stomped to where he was. “satoru!”

“oh?!” he turned to you with a wide grin, then to the officer in front of him, pointing at you. “look! i’ve been telling you. i have a wife— and there she is!”

the officer eyed you suspiciously as if he wanted to confirm your identity, and you huffed. “it pains me to admit that i’m his wife—”

“wha?! it ‘pains’ you?! i’m hurt!”

“—but yes, i am. officer, what do i have to do to get him out here?”

you could’ve sworn the officer gave you a look of pity. “ma’am, so we received a report that your… err, husband, was publicly harassing two students—”

you widened your eyes, turning to him accusingly. “you—!”

“i was not!” satoru fiercely interrupted, eyeing the police with clear disdain. “if i want to harass girls, shouldn’t i harass my wife first?!”

you were speechless as you shot him a look of disbelief.

“but sir, the girls said that you have been ‘leering’ at them—”

“i was just passing by! i didn’t even look at them! and when i have a wife this hot—” satoru wildly gestured at you with both hands. “what use is anything else?!”

dear lord. please give me strength. you felt like losing your head over this as you clutched your temple.

“sir, you’re being too loud!”

“i’m telling you, you’re slandering me! that’s crime too!”

this was utter chaos and you finally had enough. “both of you, just...” you breathed out— “shut up!”

both the police and your husband looked at you in surprise as you glared at them with so much ire they would have never expected out of you.

in the end, to settle this fiasco, you ended up paying the fine.

“wifey... forgive me, please?”

satoru dejectedly followed you from behind like a sad puppy as you entered your home. “please? don’t be mad at me...”

you suddenly stopped in your tracks, before whirling to face him, squinting one eye. “you got arrested, made a fool out of yourself, and i bailed you out. so, give me three good reasons why i shouldn’t be mad at you.”

“uh, w-wait...”

“three, two—”

“i-i’m a good kisser! i let you have my body!” he blurted in panic. “and oh—while at it, i also satisfy you sooo well in bed!”

how did you end up with a clown for a husband? despite yourself, you almost laughed at his response, and satoru obviously saw it as a sign of him succeeding. and before you knew it, he leaned and pecked you in the lips.

“look at you, you just smiled!” he giddily grinned as he pulled away. “i’m right, aren’t i!?”

“ha ha...” you let out an exasperated sigh, suppressing your laugh and faint heat in your face at the same time. “satoru...”

his eyes were practically shining. “yes?!”

“you and couch. tonight.”

[yuuuhiii]

⌞no more! ⌝

includes : you get upset at the jjk boys so you take away sex privilege:D , suggestive, crack

other : this is my debut for suguru and satoru 😍

© yuuuhiii 24 : don’t plagiarize, translate, or post my work on other platforms

[sqtorux]

unfamiliar

telling them that you'll be hanging out with someone they don't know; jjk men

includes: gojo, geto, nanami, choso, toji and sukuna

» requested !

[rapplesart]

Random fic idea

Tim drake but instead of loosing his spleen he lost part of his leg.

Tim thought it was obvious he was missing his right leg from the knee down. It was a whole leg that was missing after all. Sure he was wearing a prosthetic made by Ra's' best people.

One he painfully earned after that crazy fucker made him fight a bunch of his assassins one legged in order to "proof himself as the true heir of the bat he saw in him" or something. So sure, the leg might be more advanced than most, and it imitated natural steps a lot easier and even made it possible to easily run without switching to a different leg. Truly it was a perfect leg be vigilante with. But he never even bothered to give it human like appearances.

But apparently the Fam didn't notice. When he returned with Bruce everyone was too reliefed to give Tim a closer look and it just never came up afterwards.

Tim thought they just didn't want to ask about it in a weird attempt of being polite or even caring. Bruce surely did enough research on how it happened on his own. The man spend the whole travel back to Gotham with Tim after all. Tim truly believed the world's greatest detective would have noticed his missing leg.

Except he didn't. Not if he interpreted the way they looked so incredibly disturbed by is nonchalant way of handlinh the boiling hot chemicals that landed on his metal leg. He just brushed it off, the battle continued and since nothing seemed to be injured no one pressed him when he said "Must've missed me after all"

Now, how do you deal with a family that didn't notice you're missing a leg? That's right you fuck with them.

First thing he did was buy himself a few more realistic looking prosthetic leg. It had to be custom made to fit his stump so it took a whole but it was a worthwhile investment.

The first one was Jason. Call it a twisted revenge for trying to kill him but Tim just really wanted him to be messed with the most. So one day when he knew it was only Jason and him on patrol he strategically set himself down to fall. Crunching some spaghettis to ass in a sickening way only to stand up and walk away as if nothing ever happened.... With his foot toned the wrong way around. Insisting on nothing being wrong and Jason being delusional whenever the older boy tried to get him to get medical treatment. He switched it up the whole evening, whenever he was out of sight he turned the fool right and wrong. Driving the guy insane.

Jason did not sleep well that night. He was also top weirded out and unsure if what he saw was real to talk about it with anyone else.

Then, he challenged dick to a flexibility contest seeing how far they han bend their knees and feet. Even Mr bones are a social construct gymnast Richard Grayson looked horrified as Tim stood there, food bend almost in half, knee twisted to the impossible and what looked lihe a bend in the middle of his leg. Dick claimed cheating except the thing that greeted him when he demanded Tim to puch up his pant leg to expose his trick was a normal looking leg. The first Robin did lots of stretches in the following weeks. His pride was hurt after all.

Finding a way to mess with Damian was a bit more difficult. The brat still made a bunch of harsh comments again and again and he really wasn't close enough with Tim to be easily gaslit. The kid was a trained assassin and was probably used to a bunch of weird shit considering everything Ra's. So Tim decided he could go a bit more gory on Robin than the others. So one night he sat in front of Damians room, in the dark hallway and waited till one of his pets passed him. Once Alfred the Cat came along he made some louder coping noise that would Definetly make the kid look out to check on his animals. It worked just as planned, Damian peeked out his door to see Tim, crosslegged and barefoot on the floor, seemingly cutting off his toe to feed the cat. In reality it was nothing more than a cat treat and carefully picked, animal safe food coloring.

The kid scremed at him, threatened to stab him, punched him real good for harming his cat and took off with said cat to find Alfred so the older man could check on the poor kitten. Of course not beforeaking sure Tim was in an adequate amount of pain on the floor, with his 'injured' food secured to the floor with another knife. Only to return with a worried Alfred on tow to see Tim, standing two whole bare feet with a confused expression and a bag of cat treats in the hall.

Tim got a broken nose for it but it surely was worth it. Especially once he quietly whispered a 'no one will ever belief you' to the kid in passing. He might have traumatised the boy a little but Tim fought it justified for all the attempted murder he suffered.

[hwa-hyun]

Prompt: “sorry, my social battery ran out:(”

✰ who: skz ot8 x gn!reader

synopsis - bfs skz when you hide away at a social gathering

a/n: thank you so much to @pardyparderson for offering this prompt on a silver platter without even meaning to

cw: there’s a lot of snacking, running out of social battery is literally the plot, mentions of tiresome aunt/uncle in changbin and han one, han one is a teny-tiny bit suggestive?

skz masterlist

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©hwa-hyun: do not copy or republish as your own, reblogs and replies mean the world though 🫶🏼

[list4r]

Toji the big buff and muscular man. The man who makes everyone turns away, scared to even look him in the eyes when you two walk the streets the together. He isn’t afraid of anything and everything is afraid of him (not you). Seriously. Nothing scares him. Believe him when he says that. Toji Fushiguro is a fearless man.

Except when it comes to one thing.

“TOOOOOOJI!” The sound of your voice urgently calling for him makes the man run up the steps two of the time, forgetting about the weapons he was organizing.

“The fuck is all this screamin’ for- what are you doing?” His eyes land on you standing on top of the bed, pointing to a corner of the room with a shoe. He starts to move where you were pointing to.

“There’s a fucking spider right there! Look- LOOOK!”

That right there causes Toji to freeze in his tracks, glancing to see the eight legged creature sitting in the corner.

“Hell no.”

“What? Toji kill that shit- before it disappears and comes back with babies.”

“You heard me the first time. Hell. No.” Toji shakes his head, pointing to the spider. “That fucker is the size of my left ballsack. I ain’t touchin’ that.”

You scoff as you turn to him, momentarily forgetting about the spider. “You’re telling me that you can kill people for a living but you can’t kill a damn spider!?!”

“It’s different.”

“How?”

“It just is. I don’t know what kind of disease or illness that thing is carrying. No thank you.”

“So you’ll get some random man’s blood on you but you won’t kill a spider for the love of your life?”

“Now you’re just making me seem like an asshole.”

“Cause you are. You got all that muscle for what? If you can’t kill a simple spider then- Toji…. Where did it go?”

His eyes follow your gaze to the now empty corner. “Oh fuck no.. nah I’m out baby.” He immediately leaves the room, leaving you alone.

“HELLO WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU GOING!?”

“Not here I know that! This apartment belongs to the damn spider now.”

And that’s how the two of you end up staying at Shius apartment for the night whether he liked it or not.

[textmel8r]

[ SMAU ] 𝐍𝐀𝐈𝐋 𝐃𝐀𝐘 ! in which you show the jujutsu kaisen men your new set of nails by sending them a picture cupping your breast .

↝ incl . satoru gojo , suguru geto , kento nanami , toji fushiguro , choso kamo

↝ cw . crack , nsfw , profanity , fluff

↝ an . wattpad @textmel8r

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