yuuchama

[yuuchama]

You're walking with Jack Howl in the woods behind campus, getting some light exercise.

You find a really big stick. It's a nice stick. You swish it around in the dirt for a bit before showing it off to Jack. He admires it for a second. He asks to hold it. You proudly give it to him. "Yeah, this is a nice stick," he agrees.

You hold out your hand to retrieve the stick. Jack stares at you. He doesn't say anything. He will not return the stick. He slowly turns his gaze away and begins looking in the opposite direction. You reach your hand out further, putting it right in front of him. He turns his head and pretends not to see you. He is still holding the stick.

[yuuchama]

You ducked into the library, searching for a quiet place to be left alone. Night Raven College could be exhausting.

First, you tripped over Silver on your way to class. The two of you were equally apologetic about the situation. You received extra homework after Cater tagged you in a bunch of photos, causing your phone to go off during class. You had to run back to the dorm after Epel gave you a crate full of fresh apples, but you were chased by the twins who wouldn't shut up about Azul's exciting new business venture. They said they'd go away for 25 thaumarks apiece, but you didn't have that much cash on you. Once back in the school building, Vil made a passing comment about your disheveled appearance and tightened your necktie an uncomfortable amount.

You just wanted a moment to catch your breath and rest your mind. Hopefully the library would provide solace. At that time of day, most students were there to keep their heads down and get homework done. One lone figure, hunched over a table copying down recipes, was a sight for sore eyes.

"Treeeey!"

You whispered as you approached so as not to scare the upperclassman. He pushed his glasses up, then greeted you with a bright smile and cordial wave. The stack of recipe books were pushed aside and he invited you to sit.

"I am so glad to see you. You're, like, the most normal guy on this campus," you told him. You pulled out a chair and set your bag on the ground. If you were with somebody respectable like the Heartslabyul vice housewarden, others were less likely to show up and be a bother.

Trey snickered. "Really? Uh, thanks, I guess? I'll take that as a compliment."

"It is!" you insisted. "The highest of compliments!"

Trey lightly rolled his eyes with another smile and continued writing. He was the ideal upperclassman. You peeked at his paper. It was about some kind of wild berry pie you'd never heard of. Looked complex. He was copying the information down word for word from a new-looking cookbook, which you also leaned over to nosily examine.

"You've got a typo in step six," you pointed out. "Boil for five hours, not five minutes."

Trey double-checked, scanning his notes and then the original recipe. "Nice catch! Can you pass me an eraser? It's in my pencil case."

The case had been moved when you sat down, so naturally you had no problem retrieving it. You picked up the blue cloth pouch. It was pretty hefty for a pencil case.

"Ah, actually it's the red one," Trey said, "not the-"

Inside the blue pouch was a half dozen toothbrushes. A tongue scraper, two flavors of toothpaste, a dental mirror, and a bag of little tooth flossers. It smelled minty.

"That's my emergency kit," he explained, adjusting his glasses to hide the bashful tint around his ears. "Feel free to take a brush if you need one. I, uh, keep the pencils and pens in the red case, if you would be so kind."

You zipped the dental bag back up. You could pretend that was normal. "It's fine. This is nothing. You're still the most normal guy by a long shot, and I appreciate you for that."

[yuuchama]

"Prefect, you don't look too well," Deuce noticed.

You hobbled into class with bleary vision, wanting nothing more than to go right back to Ramshackle and fall asleep.

"Dang, look at those dark circles!" Ace whistled in admiration. "What kept you up all night?"

"Drums," you said plainly. You tried to throw your bookbag onto the lecture hall table. It slid across the surface and fell to the ground on the other side of the table. You didn't care.

Ace was kind enough to grab it for you despite his overflowing curiosity. "Drums? What's that mean?"

You took a deep breath. You needed oxygen in your brain. "It means someone gave Grim a miniature drum set and he played it all night."

"Ooooh." The two Heartslabyul students gawked in unison.

"That does sound awful," Deuce remarked. "Any idea who?"

"No." You grunted through gritted teeth and clenched your fist. "But when I find them..."

Several classrooms over, Kalim sneezed over his cauldron. He managed to turn at the last second and avoided contaminating the potion within.

"Ah! Is someone badmouthing me?" he mused. "I heard you sneeze when people talk behind your back."

"Don't be ridiculous." Jamil was ready with a fresh pocket tissue that he thrust towards Kalim. "I told you to put the gold dust in more carefully. Half of it wound up in the air, and you probably inhaled it."

"Haha!" Kalim felt reassured that he had done no wrong. "What a relief."

[yuuchama]

You're playing with Idia's hair. Letting the flames flit between your fingers and dance in your hand as you decide whether he should get a braid or a bun or something else entirely.

He's on his phone, and his tablet, playing a game on one and scrolling socials on the other while trying not to think about what you're doing to his head. It feels nice, if a bit ticklish and very unfamiliar, to have someone so close.

You pretend not to notice when Idia steals peeks at your reflection in the dark screen edges. He does it out of anxiety more than anything. You begin tying things in place where you want them. A ponytail or two could suit him well, you think. He's in his own little otaku world and surely won't mind.

Except, they just announced the new Herculean Heroes game figure is limited to 50 sales. It can only be obtained via lottery, one entry per person. When Idia read that, his hair erupted into a violent flaming red mess.

It was just for a second. Just when he leaned forward and gasped and felt desperation run through his veins at potentially missing out on such a pristine piece of merch.

It was just enough to snap the elastics you managed to finagle around his hair. Now you're left with a blank canvas, a messy cascade of blue flames in an unending tangle. You grab a big handful and bunch it up in retaliation. He sheepishly glances at you again in the reflection of his tablet. A wisp of pink trails between your fingers.

[yuuchama]

"My most regal liege! Why, he is the mightiest, most elegant, and breathtaking being in all the land. None would dare even dream to be on his level!"

"Sebek," Malleus warned, "that is enough."

"Yo, it's Hornton, the dudest of bros. Hails from Bro-ar Valley. Probably has a tail, but he's hiding it and won't show me. Mr. Haunts-my-garden-in-the-middle-of-the-night. I mistook a squirrel for you the other day."

"Ah, Prefect," Malleus greeted. "How you amuse me so. Do continue."

[yuuchama]

"Prefect, have you seen Rook anywhere?"

Epel looked distraught. He had spent the last three hours searching for his upperclassman, only to come up empty handed. He was now searching the courtyard again to no avail and was hoping you could give him a hand.

"Oh, yeah. He's been following me around all day," you answered.

"What?" Epel looked doubtful. His eyes scanned the empty paved path behind you. "How do you know?"

"Watch this."

You raised your hands above your head, forming a nice ring shape. No sooner did you lock your fingers together in the air than an arrow whizzed between your arms. It struck the ground right in front of Epel and chipped off part of the sidewalk.

Epel let out a swear and stepped back. "Wha' in tarnation was that!?"

You let your arms fall back down. "I think it's some kind of game. Rook hasn't actually spoken to me since he started doing it, but it's kinda fun. We've been practicing."

[yuuchama]

Lilia Vanrouge goes to visit the boys in the Equestrian Club. They're in the middle of feeding the horses. Silver asks his father to hold the feed container while he cleans out the troughs.

Lilia spots a nutrition label on the packaging. He is struck by magnificent inspiration. He leaves in high spirits. Diasomnia starts finding horse electrolytes mixed in with their daily meals.

Based on the screenshot under the readmore:

[yuuchama]

Epel's not the most fond of makeup, but for a rowdy little Pomfiore student like him, it's a necessity.

Getting into scraps with other freshmen, having a tumble during spelldrive practice, overestimating his abilities during Vargas' flight class. Amassing injuries on his face and hands that will most certainly earn him a verbal thrashing from the housewarden.

His knows his concealer better be flawless. He needs to carefully blend that in and ensure it's a perfect match to his skin tone, even if that requires an extra layer of color correction underneath. Yellow for fresh bruises, purple for older ones, and green for cuts. Set it so it looks matte and won't rub off. Pray that Vil doesn't find out.

Vil can spot it a mile away. He's not blind. He will, however, hold his tongue if the spudling he's raising does an adequate enough job covering things up. Should Epel come back with injuries on his skin more than thrice a week, though, that's just asking for a punishment.

[yuuchama]

"My best friends are some of the most talented aspiring mages in the world," you boast. "They're courageous and strong. They have such bright futures."

Ace and Deuce are standing 20 feet behind you. Their mouths are full of soda. They're taking turns slapping each other in the face to see who spits the soda out first. Grim is refereeing. He agreed to referee because Ace bribed him with a half eaten chocolate bar he found abandoned on a bench.

[yuuchama]

Ruggie's tail.

So often it's hidden by part of his uniform. Only a small tuft of fur from the very tip peeks out from the back of his oversized school jacket. His tail is short and a little coarse, with a nice luster in the sunlight. He doesn't like people gawking at it. He has no problem getting them to turn around and take a hike when they're being weird. Luckily, that doesn't happen often. Few people want to stare at a bristly hyena tail.

You can hear it, though. The swishing of his tail against fabric. Be it his dorm uniform with metal zippers that sway and clink, or his lab coat made of synthetic fibers that just so happen to amplify the sound of anything rubbing against it, more so than other school sanctioned attire.

You can hear it when you tell Ruggie you have a job for him, and that he'll be properly compensated. You can hear it when word spreads of the cafeteria serving donuts with lunch that day. You can hear it when someone drops their change under the vending machine and can't be bothered to retrieve it.

That unmistakable, fast-paced swish of Ruggie wagging his tail.

[yuuchama]

Azul stays up late into the night, ensuring his contracts are ironclad and his finances are in order. Not a single sorcent unaccounted for. Orders for the lounge are in place, payroll is done, schoolwork for the next day is finished and ready to be turned in.

It's too risky to implement any new ideas without sleeping on them for a night or two. Thus, once his responsibilities are done, Azul checks that everything is locked up and returns to his room long after the rest of his dormitory.

You stir a little when he climbs into bed, vaguely conscious that he's there but too tired to do anything about it. Azul falls asleep soon after his head hits the pillow. Efficient as always. He is a respectable distance away, on his side of the bed with his hands to himself. That doesn't last long.

When the first dull rays of the morning sun filter through the sea and reach Azul's bedroom window, the housewarden is a mess. The belt on his robe is nowhere to be seen. His shirt collar is sloppy. He's wedged his head between your cheek and shoulder. A strand of pearly silver hair tickles your ear and when you tilt your face to avoid it, Azul squeezes your midsection in protest.

One arm is flung over your ribs, the other is curled under your waist. Your own arms are pinned in a rather uncomfortable position. His legs are so entangled in your own, with his knees hooked around your thighs, that it would take a puzzle master to separate the two of you. You can feel his slow breath on your neck.

"Azul," you murmur. "It's hard to breathe." All attempts to fill your lungs with a full breath are thwarted with a tight hug.

There's a minute of silence. Azul lazily turns his head. He can barely see, partially because his glasses are on the nightstand and partially because a mop of hair is obscuring his eyes. His vision is unfocused and he's still half asleep when he squints at you, pupils still adjusting to the light.

"Loosen up," you tell him. It's a common early morning request.

With a little "aah," Azul releases the pressure on your torso. His hands slide across your stomach until they find purchase around your arm. He's acting on instinct more than anything. He would never opt to nudge his nose into the base of your neck and entwine his slender fingers around yours if he was fully awake.

Still, it's not a bad deal at all. Azul gets a full night of restful sleep next to one of his favorite people, ensuring he can work at full power the next day. You get to enjoy his fancy thousand thread count sheets and the innocent way he looks when he's not scheming.

[yuuchama]

A small cluster of freshmen knelt in front of Riddle. The white trousers of their dorm uniforms were stained with grass from being on the ground for so long, just as Riddle's heel was sunk into the dirt from standing in place for an hour.

The housewarden brandished his staff at his underclassmen. "Do not forget. Rule 228 so clearly states that flowers in gardens must never be picked on Wednesdays. If I catch you again, there will be serious consequences."

No one dared raise their eyes. "More serious than this?" somebody whispered under their breath.

It was drowned out by a sharp bark of "you are dismissed!"

The freshmen did not need to be told twice. They clearly learned the importance of following rules, and wasted no time in staggering to their feet. With a "Yes, housewarden!", they fled.

Riddle huffed. His job wasn't easy. Back in the Heartslabyul kitchen, Cater and Trey were waiting with a spot of tea and a fresh slice of fruit pie - the best remedy for fury.

Riddle stabbed his fork into the flaky crust. "These incoming freshmen have no decorum or respect for the Queen's rules. They are an utter disgrace."

"They're new," Trey explained. He draped a napkin over Riddle's shoulders. "With a little time and a few heart-to-hearts, they'll settle in."

Cater turned his phone screen off and placed it down on the table. What he was about to say was important. "Chin up, Riddle! You just have to speak their language!"

"I am certain we already speak the same language, else they wouldn't have enrolled here." Half of the pie served well to make Riddle calmer. He already stopped squeezing his fork and was more conscious about crumbs falling off the plate.

"No, no. I mean, you have to think like a freshman! These kids grew up in a totally different era from you and me," Cater clarified.

Riddle raised an eyebrow. "Even though they're only a year or two younger?"

"Exactly!"

Trey was getting a bad feeling about the whole situation. "They've only been here a month," he reminded them. "Everything is still so new. Most are living on their own for the first time."

"Riddle needs to get with the times!" Cater insisted.

Trey flinched. This was not going to end well at all.

"Explain," Riddle ordered.

"Learn the lingo that everybody's using these days. If you speak to with the freshmen in clear language that they understand, communication will be a piece of cake!"

"Anyone up for another slice of pie?" Trey tried, and failed, to change the subject.

"If only it were that easy." Riddle wiped a spot of cream off of his lip while mulling over Cater's advice. "What do I need to say for them to listen?"

Cater leaned over. This was important intel the housewarden needed to hear. "Instead of that long, difficult lecture, try being like, 'Hey, freshies! You've gotta obey the code, don’t be grabbin’ flowers on hump day or you’ll face mad heat. Capiche?'"

There was a long, slightly uncomfortable pause. Riddle's eyes went wide. He mouthed Cater's sentence, trying to make heads or tales of certain words. Words he knows very well, but would ordinarily never be used in such context.

"I don't think I've heard anyone use 'capiche' outside of a mafia movie," Trey mused.

"This... is how our freshmen are used to talking?" Riddle asked.

"Oh, yeah. This is how all the lit youth be vibing with each other now."

Riddle knit his brows together and pushed his empty plate aside. "This is worse than I thought. Trey, gather the freshmen. They must be taught the importance of proper speech. I won't stand for Heartslabyul students besmirching our dorm with incomprehensible slang."

Cater jumped up. "Now hold on, Riddle. I think you're misunderstanding something!"

Trey, having choked on the tea he was sipping, coughed. "T-that's right. Hold on a second, I think Cater is exaggeratin-"

"Nonsense." Their housewarden stood up and folded his napkin. "I have to nip this in the bud before it becomes a serious problem. We're having a dorm meeting."

[yuuchama]

Eating lunch with the Leech twins.

When they think you're not looking, Floyd steals some of your food and Jade replaces it with some random fried mushroom he picked that weekend.

You can so obviously see that your plate is changing. They claim to have no idea what you're talking about. They have those twisted sneers on their faces, as if provoking you to challenge them. Your tongue is starting to tingle from one of the mushrooms. While you're debating whether or not it's worth picking a fight over, they do it again. Completely in plain sight.

[yuuchama]

Asking Lilia Vanrouge to tutor you in history sounds like a great idea, doesn't it? He seems to know a lot about historical events due to living through them and there's even a picture resembling him in your textbook. History is his best subject. What could go wrong?

You leave the tutoring session more confused than before. Lilia's knack for history is no joke, though his knowledge is all over the place.

Hardly any of what he says gets covered in class. It's probably not going to be on the test. He brings up the names of random people, common folk with no impact on the grand scheme of things. He drones on about these people for longer than necessary. He rambles about insignificant bits of their daily lives like an old man reminiscing about old friends and you don't know how to stop him.

"Patricia really hated when they implemented the new calendar system, khee hee hee! Said it made her miss a date with this lad she fancied, but it all worked out in the end. He came to find her after a while and they went steady. Never met him. Heard he was a paper boy. The kind that makes paper, mind you. Word has it that he made fine paper but I never much cared about the quality of paper."

Lilia starts floating off his chair as he becomes immersed in his own tale. He crosses his arms in thought. You stare at his exposed forehead as he turns upside-down, your pen hand at the ready in case he says anything actually useful.

"Ezekiel, though? He was a lad who was mad about paper. Oho. This was, oh, roughly 350 years ago. He penned a letter to the Shaftlands government to petition for lower taxes. About a decade after that blight incident that wiped out their food reserves. More than half their crops were being taxed and it was a brutally cold winter, he could barely afford firewood, but he still used the best parchment he could find. Said it made a stronger point to those in power. Oh, and his daughter was so angry about it!"

Lilia laughs. Three hours pass in this manner. He wafts through the air absentmindedly and bumps against your shoulder, sending him floating back in the other direction. When he drifts too far, he magically pops into another spot and makes you jump. He has a smile on his face, this is genuine fun for him.

You manage to fill in half a page with notes that seem kind of useful. You don't know how you'd source them in an essay, though, aside from "Lilia told me." You ask if he knows anything about the legendary Queendom of Roses Revolt and he launches into another unrelated story that happened around the same time about some really good chicken he once ate.

When you've had enough and the study session is over, Lilia thanks you. He gives you a piece of hard candy, its wrapper somewhat disheveled like it was in his pocket for a week. "It's important for kids like you to study hard," he says with a thumbs up. He pats you on the back before leaving. You consider asking Riddle for help the next time you have questions.

[yuuchama]

A truly upset Jade Leech is a very rare and very terrifying sight.

It's unsettling. His heterochromia might play a role, as you never know which mismatched color to look at. His eyesbrows lightly curve down as his eyes narrow. Both are an endless fathom of disappointment. They're the eyes of a predator with no cares to give.

Maybe it's because he grew up in a cold, dark ocean. Jade has the same intense pressure in his demeanor. His upper lip curls, giving you a glimpse of those pointy teeth that could rip you into chum. They appear jagged, clenched tightly together, in much the same way his dominant hand is balled up and pulls at the seams of his glove.

It's a far cry from his usual overly-pleasant, uninvolved, neutral smile. It's a sight that leaves a lasting impression on anyone unfortunate enough to witness it.

[yuuchama]

Being married to Idia Shroud in a game is great. He puts rare items and overpowered gear in the shared storage, which he'll generally lend you if you ask. He comes to find you frequently for couple's-specific power ups, buffs that only take effect if you're together. He likes to put on limited edition outfits and take screenshots doing poses that can only be unlocked by in-game marriage. He says it's more fun than being married to an alt.

Being married to Idia Shroud in reality would be nice, if trying to date him wasn't like playing on hardcore with 1 HP. He never leaves his room. He never sticks around in the classroom or hallway longer than he has to. You have to rely on his little brother to get any information about the guy and slowly, painstakingly raise an imaginary friendship meter if you want any hope of being invited into his room.

[yuuchama]

"Fascinating."

You tried to ignore Malleus Draconia and his commentary, despite him towering behind you. On occasion he would lean forward, in such close proximity that strands of his hair fell forward and tickled your neck.

"What purpose does this tool serve? Why do you simply not use magic?" he inquired.

"There is no magic in my world," you reminded him. "I guess people in the past used regular fire, but nowadays this is way easier. And safer."

Malleus took a step back as you moved to retrieve a plate. He kept his focus on the strange machine atop your counter. It ticked with each passing second. His curious green eyes were reflected in its shiny metal shell. He put his hands behind his back and watched like an old man observing street construction.

With a loud ding, two slices of bread jumped out from the device. You put them on the plate and hurried to spread butter before they cooled off. Malleus smiled with glee.

"Heh. How amusing. You never cease to amaze me with new things."

You offered him the first buttered slice, which he eagerly accepted. You'd never seen a man so enraptured by a toaster before. He dug his fangs into the golden-brown bread with a satisfying crunch.

"Only takes a couple of minutes," you boasted. "Anyone can use it, no magic required, and it cooks all sorts of stuff. Bread, frozen waffles... frozen pancakes..."

You realized maybe the toaster was not as versatile as you thought, but cooking bread and frozen breakfast goods was still plenty impressive.

Malleus polished off his snack by licking the crumbs around his mouth. "Delicious. Do you have anything more we can use? I would like to try operating this... toaster."