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l-in-the-light · 5 months ago

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"I'm sure he's got nothing to do with me!" says Luffy and I was waiting for him to say it. For him to hear all of this Nika lore and declare that, nope, I don't care, I'm not Nika, I'm not a liberator. It's just such a Luffy thing to do. But I know many fans actually will be shocked with Luffy's answer here or will just dismiss it. I have seen many opinions before that Luffy was always a liberator by choice, so becoming Nika is just natural course of events for him and he will have no problem embracing his role in the bigger scheme of things. Some even complained they hate that Luffy is Nika because they don't want Luffy to be the "fated hero" but instead a "from nobody to the king of the world" trope. But nope! Luffy just noped all of this himself.

Luffy is not a liberator and he's not an altruistic hero, he doesn't go from island to island aiming to save people, and if you think he wanted to, then please remember Fishmen Island and how unhappy he was with the idea of being a hero:

And now if you think Luffy changed since then because Dressrosa happened, then please remember what he asked of Momonosuke in Wano:

Yep, that's right. Luffy still *doesn't have any interest* in becoming a hero. If you think he's alright with that and changed his mind, then you're just not paying attention to him, sorry to say that. Luffy has been pretty consistent about this too and now he declared it yet again in Elbaf. It's the third time already.

You just think it's not a big deal because he so easily changed his mind in Fishmen Island, but it happened only because he had an actual reason to do that. Jimbei promised Luffy all the meat he wants. He gave him a *personal reason* to act like a hero, which is why Luffy agreed. And he did the same in Dressrosa. He wouldn't liberate that country if he didn't get attached first to Law and Rebecca (yes, in this order), and his crew to tontattas. They always do it for someone particular, for their friends. It's the same in Wano too, Luffy's constant motivation is Tama, Momo and Kinemon. He wants them to be happy, most of all, and he even says as much when he defeats Kaido: "I want a world where all of my friends can eat as much as they like".

There, he doesn't do it altruistically because he hates oppresion and villains who thrive on pain of common people and he can't stand seeing it. Yes, he probably thinks it's unfair, but he also grew up in Goa Kingdom, the very definition of unfair regime. He saves oppressed people only when they are his friends or has some other personal interest involved. He defeats the Marine base in Shells Town for Koby (and Zoro, later). He defeats Don Krieg so he can repay his food debt to Baratie. He defeats Arlong for Nami. He fights Wapol for Chopper (who saved Nami) and who he already considers his friend because of that. He fights for the Giants (Little Garden) and Vivi (Alabasta), Conis (Skypiea), Robin (Water 7 and Enies Lobby), Brook (Thriller Bark), Hachi (Sabaody) etc. Though, he does make friends rather easily, so usually it's not that big of a deal. But he isn't going out of his way to places he reads about in the newspapers that need to be liberated, he instead cares more for his own dream. He doesn't enter a certain island with the idea in mind that goes like "if I see some injustice here, I'm gonna bring this shit down". It's the other way around. He makes friends and realizes they're unhappy.

He wants them to be happy again and to live without regrets, and that's why he brings the shit down, whatever it is that makes people he cares about feel so unhappy. Because he thinks this is at least something he can do for his friends. Luffy doesn't think he can do a lot of things, he can't do much at all, but he can do one thing: beat up a guy when needed.

He knows how regret feels like ever since he believed Sabo died, he's not gonna sit there and do nothing next time something like this happens. That's why it's so important for him, to make sure his friends are happy. And that's why he beats up people and liberates countries. It's not for justice, he simply wants his friends to be happy.

But wait a moment, Luffy also wants freedom. Yes, he does. He wants to be the King of the Pirates, because for him it means to be free. And that's how he actually speaks about Nika as well:

He wants the freedom for himself. Isn't it funny that he thinks he already achieved it though?

And before you're disgusted by how selfish Luffy actually is, hear me out: Luffy is simply not a martyr. He won't die or sacrfice himself for the world to liberate it. He will instead die for the world if he thinks that will make his friends happy. Preferably though, he would want to survive and eat that meat with them, and be happy together.

Still, if you want him to be a liberator of a whole world it is actually possible, you just need to make it personal for Luffy, like I suggested. For example, put a person or multpile people who want to save/destroy the world (whichever option you fancy) on Luffy's crew. Luffy always cares for dreams of his crewmates and will always support them (because fullfilling their dreams will make them happy), so he would become a liberator if that helps them. But he would do it for them, not for the world.

Luffy is not a hero because he has a golden heart and a strong sense of justice. He's a hero when his friends are in danger instead, because instead of a golden heart, he simply has a big heart and makes friends wherever he goes. A martyr-like hero who sacrfices himself for people without caring for his own wellbeing is noble, but it's also not a healthy mentality, believe it or not. For starters, if you never care enough for yourself and are ready to throw your life away for a concept, what will happen with people who love you and care for you? Is it fair towards them to throw your life away without caring who you're leaving behind and how they will feel about it? Do you even care then for their feelings if your pursuit of greater good is more important to you? You can save the world and make people you love sad and unhappy, and like they don't even care anymore to live, because you were the one who made them happy and now you're gone. Did you save the world for them or destroyed it for them instead, as the result?

Luffy has his own interest in saving his friends too: so he's not alone again. Humans aren't selfless beings, but it doesn't automatically make us bad people either. And sometimes, while pursuing selfish things, we do something that appear to be extremely selfless. But at the bottom of it: we also do it for themselves, even if it kills us.

Tokyo Babylon taught me that every act is selfish, even if it appears like we do it for someone else: we simply want to feel better about ourselves then. There's nothing wrong with that, as long as we don't lose the sight of other people's feelings on our way. We can always share, after all, and that sharing is the bridge between the lone islands that people are.

Luffy, if he dies, will also say, just like Seishiro: "I didn't do it for you. I did everything by my own choice". For myself. Despite the fact it is also true he does it to make his friends happy. Being selfish and being selfless is like two sides of the same coin and both choices can end up actually hurting people. In the first case, because you care too much about yourself and too little about feelings of others, and in second case because you care too little about yourself and still too little about feelings of people that love and care for you. Can you spot the thing in common here?

#one piece #luffy #Luffy is not a hero #give him that meat he deserves it #but he wants to make his friends happy #one piece 1136 #one piece spoilers #very slight spoilers though #one piece meta #monkey d. luffy #monkey d luffy #tokyo babylon #altruism #paradox of altruism #psychology #one piece chapter commentary #commentary about the full chapter will appear later this was just becoming too long so it became a seperate post

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a-very-tired-jew · 1 year ago

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Conversations with a younger colleague about I/P conflict

In my department there is a grad student who is friendly with myself and a few others of the openly nerdy ecologists. We actively talk about anime, video games, TTRPGs, etc... We've also all collaborated on research together because we generally study the same thing, and being a grad student we are also letting them helm their own research to carve their own path. The research topic that links all of us is decomposition ecology.

Meaning, we study death, how it effects the environment, and all the things having to do with it. Often we have our own terms that we define and use, but we also work within the framework of various medical and legal definitions nationally and internationally. Recently this student has been talking to me about the I/P conflict because it has dominated their social media feed. Like many young adults, this is their first I/P conflict and their first exposure to anything regarding that region. As such, they have come to me to talk about things knowing that I am Jewish. Not out of maliciousness, but because I am the only person they talk to that has any sort of connection to it. Over these past months they have repeated the "genocide/Holocaust" rhetoric that we have seen Western Activists use to make the conflict the Worst Thing Ever. Our conversation went as follows: GS: I can't believe they're committing a Holocaust on them after what they went through. Me: How is it a Holocaust? GS: They're committing a genocide against the Palestinians. Me: They're not doing either one, but let's touch upon the first thing you said. How? GS: They're killing them in large numbers! Me: Oh...oh...that's not what made the Holocaust the Holocaust, you know that right? It was years of systematic dehumanization that culminated in what we know. There were death camps, torture, experimentation, and so much more than simple "killing in large numbers". GS: Damn public school education... Me: You didn't really go over it too much did you? GS: WWII was, like, a week I want to say. Me: *sigh* yeah, not surprised at all. GS: Okay, so a genocide then? Me: GS, what do we study? GS: Decomp Me: and that involves? GS: Death Me: One avenue of which is mass casualty events which a number of our friends have published on. GS: Yeah! I read those papers, they were really good. Me: They were, but do you remember conversations we had about them and what differentiates mass casualty events from one another? GS: Cause? Me: And...? GS: Shit. Intent. Me: Exactly. Has their been an official stated intent to commit any genocide? I mean, you've got the bigots in the government like Ben Givir and the shit they say, I'll give you that. But has the official stance been genocidal? GS: No. I don't think so. Me: What has it been? GS: To get the hostages back and get rid of Hamas. Me: Uh huh, and what has been Hamas's stated intent? GS: To kill Zionists. Me: And before 2017 when they changed the wording in their charter? GS: ah fuck...it's Jews isn't it? Me: Ding ding ding. GS: So that's why no one in the group has said it's a genocide... Me: Correct. Humanitarian crisis brought about by war? Yes. Mass casualty event? Certainly. But genocide? Well, there's a reason no one in our circle has endorsed the term. And remember, we're considered experts on death. GS: I got puppeted didn't I? Me: Yep. GS: Shit. The only reason this went so well is due to our friendship and mentor/mentee dynamic. They already trust me to not lead them astray, be informed, and address the holes in their knowledge. Hell, they help me be a better scientist as well with how they bring in new and novel techniques that I didn't know. But they're still getting a lot of their info from TikTok and IG, and they've talked about a lot of BS from those two particular apps these past few years. This is just the latest (they had a TikTok induced anti-GMO trend for a while, it was bad).

#jumblr #misinformation #I/P misinformation #Correct terminology #Death experts #Seriously - we have a precise definition for genocide and this ain't it

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rapha-reads · 2 months ago

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Alrighty, allons-y! Finally found the time to sit down and watch Lux, and what an episode! I'm more and more convinced that RTD is preparing us a really meta story arc, as in, we're definitely going to come out of the screen at some point, and Lux is just an appetizer, to throw us some crumbs and make us think now that it's done, it can't be the big thing. Anyway, live commentary:

"You're a Time Lord!" - "Let's go home to Gallifrey" - Belinda is Rani / another Classic Who Time Lord theory intensifies. Also the whole thing where she's like "so there's no other Time Lord coming to help us" after the cartoon moment: 1, how does she know about Time Lords, 2, who else but another Time Lord would be wary of relying on the Doctor and want another Time Lord's help, especially a Gallifreyan one?

Belinda going "out of my way, let me see 1952" was super cute. Girl may want to go home bad, but she's definitely going to enjoy the trips in the meantime.

And the Doctor going "better that nobody sees us as we are in 52" - Fifteenth definitely learned from Thirteenth. Sexism, done, ah, now let's do racism. We only need the queerphobia now to complete the trifecta (genderfluid Doctor when?).

"This time of night, who's looking?" Ooooooh. Putting my money on Logan the diner boy is queer.

"I have toppled worlds. Sometimes I wait for people to topple their world." OOOOOH. Not only is that River's Doctor, the one that makes whole armies turn around at the mention of his name, but that's also one hell of a deep commentary about the Doctor: even he has to wait for the times to evolve.

Nooooooo, don't tell me. Nooo? Come on. ANOTHER ONE? Another Pantheon god? I mean, I was expecting it, but not that soon. Also I'm pretty sure Lux is not one mentionned by Harbinger in the last series. Can't remember his name in her list. You know which ones I'd like to see? God of beasts the Mara, and the threefold deity of malice and mischief and misery. Because these two are speaking of deeeeep folklore. Anyway this ain't the place, but one day I'll write a word or two about it.

Holy shit we're going SO. META. Lizzie, Hassan and Robyn are SO on brand. Wish that were me tho. But "Blink" is such a boring answer. Yeah, it's amazing and a cult classic, righteously so, but come on. Be original. Say... "Gridlock", the death of Face of Boe. "The God Complex", a deeply complex episode about faith and fear. Or "Hell Bent", the Doctor in front of himself, without artifice.

Wait. The music. The music when they're talking with the Whovians, guys, that's Eleventh's music, unless I'm wrong, and I'm not wrong, I know all of Eleventh's by heart, that's his sad theme. Yep, it's either "The Sad Man With A Box", or "The Mad Man With A Box", series 5 soundtrack. Is Murray Gold reusing old leitmotivs or is there a reason why this one in particular? Because, the title is quite evocative. Are Gold and Davies trying to tell us something about Fifteenth? Music is really important, in any media, but moreso in Doctor Who where it's been particularly peculiar since the beginning of Fifteenth's run (Maestro, Ruby being in a band, even the Toymaker's laugh). There's definitely a reason why this particular theme at this exact moment. Are they hitting at the Doctor's not being real?

Aaaaaand I just notice there are already video essays talking about that on YouTube, so disregard all of this and let's go watch the videos.

Ah, obligatory Mrs Flood cameo. Girl who are you what do you want and how do you manage to always be where the action is?

All in all, gotta agree with the Whovians at the end. Solid episode, a good 7 out of 10, for sure. Love the meta aspects, love the love shown to the fandom (RTD knows who he's doing this for, after all, crew and cast, they were and still are one of us). Love Belinda warming up to the Doctor, and the Doctor respecting her more and more.

Next episode looks like the scary sort. The teaser made me think a little of the Bill and Twelfth one where Twelfth loses his sight, "Oxygen". Deep space trip with monsters and horrible life conditions, yey!

#doctor who #rapha talks #rapha is being a whovian #doctor who spoilers #doctor who series 15 #dw spoilers #dw series 15 #dw: lux #fifteenth doctor #belinda chandra #dw meta #russell t davies #murray gold

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catpocalyptic-world · 1 month ago

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For most of my life I'd been an "I obsess about stuff on my own" kind of person and only recently I've decided to explore fandom communities, be it on Tumblr, Ao3 or any other places.

And probably, that's the reason why it had never occurred to me before, how many discussions and arguments there are about "the right version of <insert a character name here> in the canon". 🤔

The said discussions can be connected with any kind of fandom and any character, but the ones that caught my eye are definitely Loki-related.

One reason for this is that - obviously - I search for specific content, so I end up seeing lots of posts related to the topic. The other reason, however, is - I guess - more connected with the fact that there really are different interpretations of that character: in various films, in the series, in comics. And probably none of them can be "everyone's cup of tea". 🤷

There are people for whom the only right version of Loki in MCU is the one up to "Thor: Dark World" - and everything that was done afterwards is absolutely worthless.

There are people for whom everything up to "Dark World" is a total waste of time and only "Thor: Ragnarok" and the series have the right vibe.

There are people who generally don't like Loki in MCU and stick to the comics alone.

There are people who like the films but hate the series.

There are people who love both the films and the series.

There are probably also people who don't like any of the films but enjoy the series.

Oh, let's not forget about those who might generally hate what Marvel did to mythological Loki, both in the comics and in MCU. 😉

Yeah, we sometimes get really emotional when it comes to our favourite characters. Because these stories, which we're being told here, for some of us might be much more than just sheer entertainment.

They're our modern myths and legends. They are a kind of conscious or subconscious work on our own issues. They are a way to project some parts of ourselfs onto these characters, to familiarase oneself with some fears, needs and desires, to discover new things about oneself.

(That's totally not your way of thinking? Okay. But it's definitely mine and I know I'm not the only one.)

Loki is someone with whom it might get even more complicated, because this character - based on mythological Trickster - is a really powerful symbol, additionally enhanced by all Marvel's ideas for him. And - boy! - they did give him a lot of traits and issues many of us can relate to, this way or another. 🫣

So a (possibly quite obvious) thing that occurred to me is that probably... your "right" Loki is the Loki you need. You. Specifically. For this or that reason. Because you need this character to be that way.

I'll even risk another theory: maybe the fact that we can see so many different characterisations of Loki throughout the canon is the reflection of "what kind of Loki the authors of the particular film or comic needed for themselves". 🤔 (Dunno, maybe there were other reasons as well, not arguing about that.)

And the most important thing? Well, in my opinion, there are two:

Never ever feel bad because you like more this or that version of a particular character. Or because you like all of them. Or because you don't like any of them, so you create your own one in your fantasies/stories. ☺️

Never ever make other people feel bad because they like a different version of the character than you do. Apart from being hurtful and insensitive, this kind of behaviour is also totally absurd. Would you really ridicule someone because they drink cappuccino, while you prefer black coffee? (And if the answer is "yes" - daaaamn, you've got a whole lotta things to unpack here. 😜)

Yep, that's all folks. 😁

Thank you for coming to my "random rambling about pseudo-philosophical sh*t that nobody needs or everyone is already aware of" kind of talk. 🤣 (My inner critic says hello to ya all. 😆)

Enjoy your day. 😘

#fandom #marvel #mcu #loki #loki laufeyson #loki marvel #fandom discussions #pseudo-philosophical gibberish #i like my posts just like my stories - freakishly long xD #oh gods - i actually expressed “an opinion” online - now it's time to run and hide xD #enjoy your loki and let others enjoy their lokis <3

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thus-wrote-mrs-zeppeli · 2 months ago

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I came across your blog a little bit ago and wanted to tell you that I love your vibes!!

I think your pen name, Sweet V. Zeppeli, is great. It’s super creative; I love how much thought you put into it!

I came here to say how much I love your characterization of Bruno. I’m a wee bit obsessed with that guy, so I’m very glad he’s in so many of your posts 😭 You introduce a lot of headcanons about him that I love, such as when you mentioned that you believe Bruno gets chronic headaches from his stress. I’ve never considered that before, and you’re so right—Bruno would absolutely suffer from chronic headaches.

Honestly, I love all of your characterizations of jojo’s characters. I keep scrolling through all these posts like:

“yep… yep… yep… yeah, that’s definitely true... yep…”

Anyway yeah!!! You’re incredibly based! It’s very nice to meet you and I’m glad I ran into your blog!! <3 I’m also wondering if you ever got around to publishing that Bruno fic you mentioned in a previous ask? No pressure if you haven’t! It’s just that it’s something that I’d be interested in reading if you ever do decide to post it…👀

Aaaa hello hello! I was literally going to send you something because I’ve been reading your tags on a couple on my silly little headcanon fic things, and I’m a longtime lurker on your beautiful Bruno blog so hey! You beat me to it lol. Very happy to hear from you, thanks for reaching out!

THANK YOUUU I was super proud of that name and she’s Kinda an oc but I never do anything with ocs beyond give them names I think are cool lol. As much as I like making them I struggle to flesh them out😂

To have one of my headcanons embraced by THE Bruno enthusiast omg I’m glad you’re hearing me out on it! I have a particular vision of him kinda just pinching the bridge of his nose and shutting his eyes when his headaches flare up, but he tends to try and just push through them. No one would really think anything of it beyond thinking he’s just a bit annoyed at something lol. Felt like something I could really see him experiencing, sorry Bruno😭

I love that, it makes me happy to hear you like how I’ve been characterizing the jjba characters. It’s really been fun writing for them, they have such fun personalities and stories, and I really have to admire how many of the characters have won me over when I thought I wouldn’t think too much of them. This is targeted at Mista specifically lol I honestly thought I wouldn’t be able to stand him but he ended up being one of my faves by the time I got to the end😂And my ultimate fave Rohan. I would profess my undying love for him and he wouldn’t hear me because he immediately tuned me out lol. I love him.

Also I like how absolutely evil a lot of the antagonists are, it was kinda refreshing to go into a series that had pure evil villains, I think they’re compelling in their own way; as much as I love misunderstood antagonists or doing the wrong thing for the right reason type of characters, sometimes I enjoy a man who is just so ridiculously evil and selfish it’s kinda pathetic (Diavolo specifically what the HECK MAN. He’s so mean I genuinely laughed at some of his insane lines lol. I got Kellan Goff’s signature at the last con I went to because I adored his performance as Diavolo. I was cosplaying Doppio haha. Off topic but I really wanted to mention that lol.)

And you’re based too🫵 thank you very much, I’m glad to have met you too! Keep loving Bruno I eat up everything you say about him he is truly *loud scream of adoration and love*

About that Bruno fic! I did not get around to finishing it yet (got bit by severe writer’s block and also immense disappointment that it wasn’t coming out how I wanted it to lol) and every once in a while I go back and stare at it like this >:| as if the stuff I already wrote will magically edit itself to my standards lol. (Writing dialogue is my ENEMY.) The intention was for it to be a few chapters long at least, and I have thusly struggled to commit, buuut I would love to share what did get completed since I did like the idea behind it!

The basic idea is Bruno and female!reader were childhood friends, grew up together, kinda lovers/lots of pining but nothing ever official, and he never mentioned to her his involvement in the mafia, one day quietly disappearing from her life. To protect her. I wanted to explore how Bruno is a well-intentioned, caring man but struggles with communication. Actually kinda just wanted to explore Bruno as a character in general. And I had an idea for a stand and thought it would be fun to try to incorporate it, so I gave it to reader!

There’s not a Lot written of the fic, so hopefully it won’t be too confusing??? Hopefully?? The first part I wrote begins after Bruno comes to visit reader after a while apart. There’s a large chunk in the middle I omitted simply because I cannot stand how it’s written lol even though I’m the one who wrote it😭😭and it’s a rough draft so. Pacing might be all over the place even though it’s literally a prologue thing-aaaa I’m just gonna put it here now before I talk myself out of it lol.

Plz note there is some violence and death, nothing beyond the intensity of the series (think that scene where Bruno kills Pesci.) starts angsty with an argument.

You’ll probably notice a little something you’ve headcanoned about Bruno lol I liked it very much and wanted to just. Put it in there.

Aaaa anyways HERE YA GO:

Earth Angel, Earth Angel

Will you be mine?

Note: Reader is not a member of Passione but is a born stand user, and unaware that what she has is a stand.

Stand: Earth Angel

User: y/n l/n

Earth Angel connects the user to the ones she loves the most. The stand will grant luck to those she desires to protect, and her soul will be intertwined with the object of her devotion, granting them boons like peace and levelheadedness, and she can share in their agony to lessen it, no matter the distance, whether physical or emotional pain. The limits of these effects are unknown.

Earth Angel manifests in the shape of halos behind the heads of the user’s loved ones, only visible to her.

Tonight, in the darkness of your kitchen, that mysterious halo that had floated behind Bruno’s head since the two of you were children seemed to glow with a special sort of intensity.

You didn’t love the way it lit up more when you raised your voice at him during the duration of this “loud discussion”, like it was expressing pain each time you opened your mouth with hot tears in your eyes and agony on your tongue.

“Did you think I wouldn’t have helped you or something?!” you demand, trying to sound so mad at him when really all you feel is concern and sadness over the whole situation.

God, he had some nerve. Some nerve acting so resigned and calm about this. He didn’t scream at you like you screamed at him, but you wished he did. And the worst part was you knew he wasn’t intentionally making you feel like the unreasonable bad guy right now.

“You know I don’t think that,” he replies, that usual calmness tainted with desperation. “It’s complicated, I had no choice-”

“No choice?!” you interrupt, frustrated. “There were really NO OTHER OPTIONS but to join the MAFIA?! You had to go straight to THAT?!”

The halo light strobes in distress.

He surprises you. By letting out his own frustration, slamming his hand on your kitchen counter, the noise making you subconsciously step back from him.

“There were GANGSTERS after my FATHER, y/n! You expect me to ask you to get involved in something like that?! I ALREADY HAD ENOUGH I COULD LOSE!”

Your shoulders slump, the halo flickers angrily, illuminating his face with a white light. He’s glaring at you, the most frustrated you’ve ever seen him in his life. And just as quickly, his expression softens, the brilliant blue of his eyes seeming more faded than they used to.

“I cannot, in good conscience, ask you to risk your future for a man like me…”

You didn’t notice you’ve covered your hand with your mouth until you feel your warm tears dampen your skin.

“I’m sorry for raising my voice at you, I shouldn’t speak to you like that,” he murmurs, his voice quieting and the halo’s flashing lights relaxing into a dull glow. He always maintained eye contact when having a serious conversation with you, but you are unable to meet his gaze right now.

“And I’m sorry for yelling. You know I’m just…” your throat hurts from trying to fight back your tears that flowed regardless of how you resisted.

Why are you crying so hard right now? It was Bruno suffering a million times worse than you in this moment,and yet the thought of his agony felt like a heavy stone tethered to your heart. It was more than just empathy. Grief stabbed at your brain like a knife, as if you were the one burdened with putting your own loved ones in danger.

No…This was only a fraction of that kind of pain. But it painted an agonizingly vivid picture of what he must be feeling right now.

“Could you look at me?”

You shake your head, but in your peripheral vision you sense him spreading his arms a bit.

You step into his arms, slowly pressing your cheek against his chest. His cologne is familiar. Sea salt, and lavender, you’d never forgotten his scent, because it was one of your favorites.

Bruno wrapped his arms around you, slowly rubbing your back, a sweet habit of his.

He doesn’t say anything. Words are meaningless right now. He just holds you.

Bruno Bucciarati… he felt safe. Even when you were upset with him, he was the sanctuary you would always long for.

You pull away, some time after you finally stopped crying, and the halo’s glow has settled to a consistent thrum.

You lean against the kitchen counter, and your voice is quiet and resigned.

“So why come here now then?” you ask, your tone not accusatory, just genuinely curious.

“Because…”

You meet those blue eyes again. They were deep enough to drown in.

“I have nowhere else to go. And I wanted to see you again.”

Every instinct in your body told you that wasn’t the entire story. But if he was hiding anything, you knew it was not for malicious reasons. A man in the mafia would have to keep certain truths to himself, no matter how much he trusted you, if he wanted to keep you safe.

“Well. You know you are always welcome here, Bruno. I don’t have a guest room, so I can only offer you the couch tonight but-”

“I hate to impose more than I already have. I only meant to inform you of my current situation, you deserved to know at least that much.”

What he didn’t tell you is that he heard you were asking around about him. And some rival upstart mafia had caught sight of you and began to look into you…because you were potentially an old flame of a Passione member. And that made you leverage.

“It’s so late…You should stay,” you insist.

He came here hoping revealing his involvement in the Italian mafia would’ve encouraged you to stop worrying about him. He had intended to be the bad guy here, but finally seeing you again after so long, his will had faltered a bit. He was just supposed to make sure you were safe, and ensure you stopped asking about him. But when it came to you, he was weak. Those bastards searching for you were more on the mark than he wished to admit.

You were his weakness.

Evident by how easily he was convinced to spend the night. He mentally chastised himself for how all it took was one sentence to immediately change his tune and allow himself a place in your home.

He glances out the window, though he already knows it’s late, given it was dark when he first knocked on your door.

“Ah, I suppose it is…well…if you’re sure you’re comfortable with it,” his halo glows a little brighter. You can feel his hope that you’ll say yes.

You chuckle a bit at his wording. Such a gentleman.

A spike of anxiety, a sear of pain-

You wake up with a gasp, met with an unpleasant metallic scent.

“Hey…”

It’s still dark, but the man leaning over your bed was recognizable as Bruno.

“Bruno…what the hell is going on?”

You swing your legs over your bed in an attempt to get up.

“Y/n, wait-”

Your feet touch the carpet of your bedroom, and you immediately recoil with a scream. “WHAT?! BRUNO-“

Your carpet was drenched in a warm and wet liquid, and the smell-it was beginning to register in your mind as blood.

“Y/n…” he places his hands on your shoulders. “Listen. You’re safe for right now, but once these men don’t report back to their boss, they’ll send more.”

These men…

The light from Bruno’s halo, only visible to you, illuminated the bedroom enough for you to have a vague vision of the state of your bedroom.

Now that you were looking, you had almost stepped on a disembodied hand.

The rest of the body was similarly strewn about your floor, a leg there, an ear, a forearm…ripped into pieces in such a way you could imagine gathering them and putting them back together like a puzzle.

“God, you killed them…” you whisper, unable to match Bruno using his usual volume. You notice that your sheets are heavy with blood too…whoever these guys were, they had gotten way too close to getting whatever it was they wanted from you.

It’s like a switch had flipped in his mind. He had been in his serious, professional mafia persona, forgetting for a moment that you lived in an entirely different world. This was probably the first time you’d ever seen a murdered man. How regrettable the first murderer you ever laid eyes on had to be him.

“I had no choice. They intended to do much worse to both of us.”

You had heard his serious tone before, but this time the solemness in his voice was enough to command your complete faith in him, if just for this moment, so you can both get out of this alive.

The way I just stopped there and haven’t touched it since November of last year😭 I still like the idea, I should get back to working on it.

Thank you for asking about it, it gave me the courage to show it off finally😂

Ok thank you for letting me ramble, I hope we will speak more to each other in the future >:) I would love to hear your thoughts in return!

For now Sweet is signing off~🩷

#thus rambled mrs zeppeli #fr this time I YAPPED I literally read this ask and rubbed my hands together like a devious housefly because I got to yap about jjba lol #and #thus wrote mrs zeppeli #bruno bucciarati x reader #female reader #jjba Bruno Bucciarati x reader

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musette22 · 2 months ago

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Just finished reading "Where You Lead (I Will Follow)" and omg it was so good. The romantic development felt very natural. I'm kinda new to the fandom btw and I’ll try to read your other stories when I get the chance! ^^ At this point, I have two questions:

1) Do you think they'll work on a project together anytime soon? Because it’s pretty clear that Seb really wants that. 2) More of a general one: what are your top 3 moments that made you go “yep, they’re definitely a thing”?

Oh hi, honey!! Thank you so much, I'm so happy to hear you enjoyed reading Where You Lead (I Will Follow) 🥰 That means a lot, thank you for letting me know!! And also a belated but no less warm welcome to the fandom, lovely!

As for your questions:

1. Unfortunately, I have absolutely no idea if they'll actually work on a project together anytime soon. Sebastian would clearly jump at the chance, but I'm not 100% sure about Chris. Not because he doesn't want to work with Sebastian again, I'm one thousand percent positive that he would love to, but because I'm not sure if he'd want to do a Broadway play again, and some other personal reasons, probably. If it was a movie, however, I think he'd jump at the chance too, so maaaaybe, if Broadway doesn't end up happening, they can make a movie happen together instead? 👀 Either way, if they do do anything together it'll probably be a while, since Sebastian's schedule for this year seams pretty packed already, unfortunately. We'll have to wait and see, but I am certainly not giving up hope!!! 🤞

2. Oohhh this is so so tricky, there are honestly so many moments that I can't even remember what my top 3 is supposed to be lol. But in general, most of the "holy shit okay this might really be something" moments happened during the Civil War press tour.

There was the Beijing day in particular, where they were both really in tune with each other, mirroring each other's body language and giving each other secret smirks... SO many moments from this day that were kind of insane, these are just two examples (gifs by the marvelous @riricitaa from this post)

Then, there was the little moment in Phoenix where Chris and Seb flew in on a private plane to surprise some theatre goers, and as Chris went to hand Seb the mic, it really looked like he was about to pat him on the but out of habit, but then kinda changed it to a half hip squeeze or something?? Really odd but really interesting to watch. And in line with that, there was the moment during the fireworks where it really looked like Sebastian was *this* close to taking Chris's hand before he remembered why he shouldn't 😭

And then there was also Wizard World Philadelphia, to which Chris wore a grey shirt on day one, and then Sebastian was seen wearing was really looked like that same shirt on day two 😭 Like, that got me like 👀👀

And then also whatever the hell this was 😭😭😭

gif credit @dailyevanstan

There are a ton more moments that I could mention, but this post has already gotten pretty long! Of course, we don't know what, if anything, actually happened, but in terms of what it took to get me to ship them, they delivered plenty of intriguing moments over the years, especially during the CW press tour! Hope that answers your questions, lovely! <3

#evanstan #rpf #my fic #my writing #minnie answers

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death-is-moist · 1 year ago

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The effects of testosterone-

As a mostly closeted transman 2 months on T.

Confidence

I am so much more confident. It's not something I had picked up on myself but numerous people have told me lately that I am glowing and thriving and since then, I have thought about it and that makes sense. I have been dressing up a little more, since I'm feeling more at home in my body, as well as smiling more.

I have been getting back into more of a gothic style like I used to while also incorporating some of my newer favourite clothes such as my Tye dye shorts and funky button ups (my new ones are frogs and another one is snails)

Hair

Getting my hair cut was one of the best decisions I have made. Choosing a mullet let's me keep it long (per choice) and have it short at the same time as well as having a bonding experience with my dad who also has an 80s style mullet and goes to the same barber as I. I have also started dying sections of it blue again and I am just overall very happy with my hair although my partner often jokes about me being an exotic bird in the mornings.

As for facial hair, one of my flatmates (who I am out to) pointed out that I had a pit of a stache growing (this was around a month in) and I was overjoyed. Since then I have been fairly regularly shaving to -

a) keep myself looking tidy

b) not cause any suspicion from family members

c) help it grow back thicker/darker further down the line

Body hair is something I have never had a lot of and if on the off chance I did, it was thin, whispy and blonde (unnoticeable). Because I spent years shaving my legs and have now grown them out, it is darker than all my other body hair but that is affirming to me as it is more of a masculine trait to have. I still have no underarm hair which is a blessing and a curse I guess. I would find it gender affirming but at the same time I am so happy I naturally have no hair there for multiple reasons.

Menstruation

I am currently 22 days late for my period and I couldn't be happier. Case closed 🤣

Libido

Uhm yeah I never really had a lot of sex drive but I can definitely say that has changed now haha. I think I understand when people compare libido in particular as becoming a 12-14 year old boy because yep. Okayyyy that's enough on this subject.

End

That's all I really have to share at this point in time I think. Please let me know any questions or if you would like me to share more about a specific subject!

#transgender #trans #trans ftm #ftm hrt #ftm #transmasc #trans masc #transman #trans man #trans male #testosterone injection #testosterone #trans hrt #hrt #hrt testosterone

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maoisarap · 3 months ago

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gonna do my own ask game thing with my own all answers and such! this isn't selfish, right? hehe. i gave up on the third person talk, so...

all under cut!

1) is your f/o you ship with also the one you produce in game? if they are not the one you produce, why?

— yes, he is! hence, the username actually ♪

2) we all know that the ensemble stars!! cast are all about being chaotic, so who's the more chaotic one between your f/o and yourself?

— me, actually! hehe~ poor mao has to reel me away before things get TOO CHAOTIC... i like pranking hokuto and others a lot and other things!

3) if you're in a romantic relationship with your f/o, or a qpp/qpr, do you think your f/o's unit members would accept your relationship status?

— definitely! the rest of the trickstar are all my qpp's anyway, but they definitely accept mao and i! despite subaru making fun of us a lot... heh.

4) what type of occupation are you and your f/o? are you idol x idol? idol x producer? producer x producer? or something else?

— we're the classical idol x producer! :D

5) can you describe you and your f/o's relationship with 3 ensemble stars!! song titles? there's a little challenge!

— finder girl, rainbow stairway, swee2wink love letter!

6) do you prefer canon or fanon version of your f/o?

— canon~ yeah! :D although, my fanon version of the maoms is connected to stuff in canon of him. so therefore still canon!

7) who confessed first between you and your f/o? how did they do it? was it by song?

— mao did! he confessed by manga references, and i joined in after! we got a laugh out it afterwards ☆

8) was your f/o also your first liked character in the franchise? if so, what made them reel you in? if not, who was?

— yep, yep, yep! originally, it was due to the anime back in 2019 - he's voiced by both yuki kaji AND david matranga in the anime... and i have a liking towards redheads~ hehe.

9) how did you figure out that this f/o of yours in particular is "the one"?

— call me cliché - once i realised my feelings for the maosie were different compared to the rest after some help too from some friends. he's also my romance awakening, so~

10) favourite voice line belonging to your f/o?

— THIS ONEEE! :D

11) do you have any merch of your f/o? (proper/fanmade/re-used/etcetera) if not, what is your dream merchandise piece to have of them?

— a few days after his birthday, a teddy mao arrived at my doorstep! i have been searching for a hims on the internet for over a year... hehe. HE'S SO SOFT, TINY, AND MAORSHMAOLLOWYYY!!

12) do you like how your f/o sounds with the voice they're given? what about their singing voice?

— YES YES YES! SKSJSJS STIMMYLICIOUS VOICE!!

13) speaking of f/o's voice, do you know of the voice actor behind your f/o? have you seen or played any other franchises your f/o's voice actor has been in?

— HECK YEAH! yuki kaji (and david matranga) are the original reasons as to how i found out about mao, so~ :D did you know that mao isara literally shares the exact same two voice actors as shoto todoroki? there's also many others he shares with, like hanae ashiya from the morose mononokean! but the shoto todoroki fact is my fave one to bring up a lot ♪

14) if isekai was real in our world, would you want to go to the enstarsverse just to be with your f/o?

— YES, PLEASE! i don't like this world... blegh.

15) favourite thing to do with your f/o?

— HUGGLES!! make hot chocolate and tea together! go on walks to the park! watch anime and youtube together! MORE HUGGLING!

16) do you and/or your f/o have any fears about your relationship status?

— nada. did at the beginning, though, due to mao being an idol and all. but now? we've embraced it majorly!!

17) is there any quirks you and/or your f/o has picked up from one another?

— mao has picked up my happy stimming clapping. i picked up his self-prep quiet talk before something major happens!

18) does your f/o get embarrassed if you sing any of their songs? or do they join in?

— DEFINITELY! especially with finder girl aka his centre song, and if we add in actions then breakthrough as well! ♪

19) have you ever stolen any outfit/do wish to steal any outfit belonging to your f/o? is it an exclusive outfit? unit-shared? or other?

— all the time ♪ hehe~

20) is your and your f/o's relationship status talk of ensemble square? how much gossip goes around about you both?

— yes... because subaru akehoshi and madara mikejima started it all. thankfully, there's been nothing negative yet. let's keep it that way!

21) do you count your f/o's centre song as a song dedicated to yourself? if not, how come?

— selfishly, very much, yes. especially because it just feels so fitting with certain lines of how our relationship came to be heh.

22) is your relationship a secret or an open one, due to some restricted rules that could exist in the enstarsverse?

— OPEN ♪~♪

23) who's more likely to be affectionate in front of other idols/the fans, between you and your f/o?

— mao definitely! he's learned over time on how to be better at flirting and such, too. he makes me feel like a squishy melted marshmallow... ahh- i do try, but i fail a lot. unless it comes to nicknames, then--

24) do you count any other character as your "number one supporter" of your relationship with your f/o?

— makoto yuuki!! madara mikejima is a second close.

25) if you and/or your f/o can't say "i love you" for particular reasons (being in public/etcetera), is there any other way you express that saying? (eye contact/smiling at each other/etcetera)

— HUGGLES if we can! and sign language! more manga references, too.

26) what is one word you'd associate with your f/o? what's one word your f/o would associate with you?

— me to mao: home. | mao to me: cheeky soulmate.

27) who gets more jealous in the relationship? is there any particular reason as to why?

— we're both as bad as one another, and i think it depends on the situation or who we're with... heh. (mao is very wary about wataru, despite us just being friends- but that's fair because i don't really like * not mentioning, if you want to know who, then message. just don't judge.)

28) who's the tall one, and who's the short one between you both? or are you both the same height?

— defeated sigh... mao's the tallbie. i am the smallbie... ahh-

29) is there any similarities between you and your f/o?)

— TOO MANY! we're both manga nerds. we're both night owls. both have a blood-related sibling. we both prefer to please others around us than be selfish. and more that's to be counted on another day~

30) what's your favourite card of your f/o? choose one card for all different stars statuses (1-5)

— THESE :D

31) do you share a dorm room with your f/o? if so, what's it like? if not, how come?

— mao and the famdorm are at the maximum limit of members of per dorm room. i share with fellow producer anzu. although... with how much izumi and shu are away, i do like sneaking into the famdorm room and huggling with mao a lot and having sleepovers! papa-in-law kuro doesn't mind ♪

32) if you went on tour with your f/o, would you both be the chaotic type (shouting, making a mess, etcetera) or the calm type (sleeping in the seats, listening to music, watching out the windows together, etcetera) on the tour bus?

— despite how i am personally, we'd actually be the calming type to either sleep at the back of the bus with our heads leaning against each other or we're playing road trip games (eye spy, and such!)

33) do you have any nicknames for each other? if so, what are they? if not, how come?

— I HAVE TOO MANY FOR MAO! I HAVE OVER 50!

— my nicknames for mao: cherry, bubba, bubbles, maolicious, cat asteroid, maorshmaollow, boyfie, more-than-boyfie, jammy, princy, finder boy, boyub, keresen, squishy, huggleberry, maosie, maom, maomao, loverboy, isarangel, beanboy, maowow, mao meow maow, kissara, kissarable, cherryling, meow kissara, meow hissara, maobub, yummao, infinite star, chaser, catboy, fizzy crush, maonty, maonkey, foxstar, sunshine, maonga, only my star, maogician, my protagonist, mister prettyguy (of enstars), mister romaontic, maokoy, goober, goofball, gooey, personal heater, chergomer, my heart beater, always my pres, caramaol, kipking, maoling, tesek, murin, my guy, helghor, curimaos, redcur, gour, sugarberry, cherry cake, favourite, caymoty'n, sweetheart, teddy bear, cutieful, cutestar, worry wart king, my one and only, handsomao, salr'n, soulmaote, mimi, squikal... yeah mao does get the feeling of shock shock horror every time i come up with a new nickname for him- i don't know how many this ACTUALLY is... heh.

— mao's nicknames for me: soulmate, true finder, ru, rume, rumes, little lime, chaotic crow, producestar.

34) what troupe would you say fits you and your f/o best? can be as cliché or the opposite, as you want to be!

— best friends to lovers | colleague lovers.

35) has your f/o got any seasonal cards/outfits, if so, do you like the card or outfit? if not, what's your dream seasonal card/outfit for your f/o? (halloween/easter/etcetera)

— HE HAS THREE!! one halloween one and two christmas ones! my favourite, though, is his own spotlight time card and outfit, hehe~

36) who's more of the busier one between you both?

— mao is. he takes on far more jobs than his figure actually lets himself handle. he just denies that part a lot.

37) what's an ordinary day between you both like? is it full of chaos, or are you as calm as ever?

— when neither is busy, we're just lazying about in either our rooms and huggling and watching stuff together whilst munching on snacks~

38) how did you and your f/o meet?

— joining the second year of yumenosaki academy late, and anzu introduced me to mao!

39) do you think your f/o's fans would accept your relationship status?

— i like to think so...

40) what is your favourite thing about your f/o? what's your f/o's favourite thing about you?

— my favourite: sorry to be cliché but it has to be his eyes. his eyes are so calming and full of genuine and warmth, and his eyes are the only ones i can truly look at. | mao to me: cheeky chaoticness. oops.

hehe~

#nonsharing ficto #nonsharing selfship #non sharing yume #enstars #mao isara #ensemble stars #enstars yume #rumi shio #maoru #ensemble stars yume #enstars self ship #trickstar #ensemble stars self ship #ensemble stars ficto #fictoship #fictoromantic #f/o answers | ask games

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kingsillysmilez · 1 year ago

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Is there any particular artist, show, game, or movie that inspired ur art style? It’s so pretty ^^

I have so many!!! I definitely can't name every single one but heres a few that have been extremely influential to me!! This took me 2 hours to write i am SO sorry lmao

Puyo Puyo (Specifially Fever, Quest, and Tetris)

CUTESY BRIGHT BRIGHT COLORS!!!!!! Thats everything I love!!!!!! I'm pretty sure I talked about this when I first got into puyo puyo but I for SURE instantly decided that yep Im steering my style in this direction sorryyyyyy!!! I just think its so fun and silly and cute and rahhh it makes me so happy.

Especially for the work I do most often, which is character portraits without backgrounds, I will often look at puyo puyo posing just to get ideas!! (I've drawn Arle's dumbfounded pose 100000000 times becus I love it so much). The puyo puyo anatomy has very noodly arms and legs but with big ass shoes and accessories which is probably my favorite design thing in the world....

I seriously recommend just looking through the Puyo Puyo Nexus wiki for pose ideas (if you want something cute/silly of course) because every single one is just perfect. I am trying to get out of some dumb art habits of my own right now, but hopefully in the future you'll be able to see more goofy poses with sillier effects :3

Muse Dash Again I want you to look at the COLORS. Its so bright and this time you can really tell where I took my shading style from. I dont want my shadows to be dark I want them to be PINK or PURPLE. thank you. For my own art, I really try to make it so the darkest "black" is actually a deep purple or blue, and as I keep making art that dark color keeps getting just a bit lighter haha...

This is also the reason I color my lineart the way I do. I just really want to add as many colors as possible into the image. And if the image looks a bit more pink after that then thats just an extra perk!!

I also need to bring up the animation because they're just so bouncy and alive!!! This is like an instant stunlock for me, I have to look at them, theyre so BOUNCYYY!!!!!! I don't do much animation but every other week I get the sudden urge to try tweening again just to eventually get to the point I can make something similar to these for my own ocs lol

Great Pretender This show has some of the most gorgeous art ive ever seen. All the backgrounds are so bright and colorful. I dont usually draw art with backgrounds anymore sadly, but when I used to I really tried to study these for them. And I hope in the future I can make more art and show how far I've come.

Though I;ve changed to a more chibi style in recent times (thanks puyo puyo), this was still one of the first times I had ever watched a show and said "Oh my god I love this artstyle I need to get better at art" and Its always in my mind for that reason.

Ive definitely stolen lots of elements from the style. Though they've gotten more subtle over the years. I dont really know how to describe it any further but I hope you understand what I mean by looking at these screenshots,,,

#theres a TON more but I these r my favs!!!!#asks

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punsmaster69 · 1 year ago

Text

12/JAN/20XX

"......."

".........."

"Okay, but it's not past my bedtime technically."

"it is definitely-"

"wait, friday."

"Midnight bedtime, babeyy!!!"

i glanced at the time.

"alright, you've got about thirty minutes before i hang up."

"Thirty five."

"ok. thirty five. but do you wanna spend that five minutes arguing about what time it is?"

"No."

"anything specific you called for this time?"

"Uhh..."

"Wellness check."

".....𝘸𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘯𝘦𝘴𝘴 𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘤𝘬."

"Wellness check."

"like they do for the elderly?"

"You ARE the elderly."

"nuh uh."

"As far as I'm concerned, you are."

"is there a level past elderly? 'cuz both your parents surely hit that one."

"..Both my-?"

"......"

"hm?"

"I guess he kind of is.."

"old?"

"My parent."

"Visiting him feels almost the same as seeing, like, Undyne and Alphys though."

"And I usually call him Asgore."

"you referred to him as 'dad guy' for a little bit."

"Then stopped."

"Every time I would, Mom would..."

"make 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 face."

"Yeah."

"Someone else comes to mind when I think of who my 'dad' is, anyway."

"he sounds cool."

"Yeah."

"great, even?"

"............."

"he'd be a better influence, y'know."

"He's more like my awesome uncle."

"true."

"Plus, it doesn't make sense to call him 'dad'. He doesn't have the hots for my mom."

"wow."

"those thirty five minutes went by so fast."

" 'night."

"NO-"

it didn't last long.

my phone started buzzing once again.

"Sans."

"frisk."

"You can't hang up on me for that."

"i did."

"Was I wrong?"

"i will again."

"Fine, okay, we don't have to talk about it."

"Eventhoughit'sdefinitelytrue-"

"Just don't hang up on me again."

"we'll see."

"You never did answer the wellness check."

"Are you well... Ness?"

i gave them a long stare.

"Come on."

"It was right there."

"a n y w a y."

"sure. i'm of the wellness. having much well."

"The best answer you can give is 'sure'?"

"you want me to list every symptom, dr. frisk?"

they pretended to hold an imaginary clipboard.

"Yeees."

"Tell me everything, patient."

"is that your impression of a doctor?"

"Yes it is. Now, are you good or not?"

"i'm good."

imaginary pen scribbling.

"Noticed one of your eyes has been back on."

"indeed."

"That's good, but why just the one?"

"𝘺𝘰𝘶'𝘳𝘦 supposed to tell 𝘮𝘦 that, doc."

"Oh."

"Uh."

"..Well."

"It was the left one that does the magic glowy stuff, right?"

"yep."

"And that's the one that blew up."

"mhm."

"Whatever Papyrus said happened when you did your special attack... probably worsened that."

"So that's why. I think."

"thanks for the diagnosis."

"what do you suggest?"

"Hmmmmm."

putting their fingers together in thought.

"Nighttime phone calls where you spill all your weird skeleton secrets..."

"at really abhorrent times, got it."

"And a big fat kiss from Mama Goat."

"goodnight."

"AAA-"

they called again.

i rolled over the other way.

——

at least twice a week, usually about three in the morning or so...

i'll wake up.

for seemingly no reason.

sometimes i can get back to sleep if i lay there for long enough, but tonight was not one of those times.

while in there for some cold water and likely a light refrigerator raid, something surprising met me in the kitchen.

actually, met 𝘮𝘦 isn't quite the right wording, considering 𝗶 scared 𝗵𝗶𝗺.

sitting on our kitchen floor, cradling the basically empty milk jug, was my brother; long limbs folded criss-cross on the tile.

his troubled gaze focused on nothing in particular, almost trance-like.

"hey."

he snapped out of it.

if not for being a skeleton, i'd say papyrus jumped out of his skin.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING UP AT THIS TIME??"

"wonderin' the same of you."

"I ASKED FIRST."

"i'm gonna raid the fridge. get some water."

proceeding to do just that, light from the refrigerator spilled into the darkened room. papyrus narrowed his sockets slightly and turned away from it.

"you?"

"....."

tapping his fingers on the side of the milk jug for a moment.

"I DON'T KNOW."

his glance to the side, followed by slight tensing.. it was all too familiar.

i parked myself next to him on the cold floor.

unable to be bothered with washing up an actual fork, i grabbed a plastic one and opened a container of leftover pasta.

"what was it about this time?"

"......"

"puzzle mishap?"

"underground again?"

"mtt's show cancelled?"

"NO..."

"I BARELY REMEMBER ANY OF IT."

"but you remember a little?"

"THERE WERE-"

"AROUND ME, I WAS..."

"I DON'T KNOW WHAT WAS HAPPENING EXACTLY, BUT I KNOW I DIDN'T ENJOY WHATEVER I WAS BEING MADE TO DO. I'M NOT SURE WHY IT WOULD BE..."

"VINES, OF ALL THINGS."

".........."

a part of me flickered with anger, but it fizzled out just as soon.

i sighed.

"just a weird metaphor, probably."

"you know how dreams are."

"I GUESS."

"..gotta ask."

"what's with the milk?"

"OH- UH."

"WELL IT.. THERE WASN'T THAT MUCH LEFT, AND I FIGURED I WOULD FINISH IT OFF, SINCE I WANTED SOME ANYWAY-"

"too much effort for a glass, huh?"

"IT'S NOT A LACK OF EFFORT!!"

"IT'S MORE EFFICIENT LIKE THIS. I DON'T NEED TO WASTE TIME WASHING A PERFECTLY GOOD CUP WHEN IT IS ALREADY CONTAINED WITHIN THE JUG."

"i dunno. sounds like you were being lazy to me. not wantin' to wash a cup, drinking straight from the jug..."

"IT'S 𝘕𝘖𝘛 LAZY."

"if you say so."

"think i could get a swig of that before you finish it off?"

"HERE."

"thanks."

"alright, you can have your comfort milk back."

"SO LONG AS MY BONES ARE ASSURED TO BE STRONG, I WILL BE AS WELL!"

"you're always strong."

"AND HOW DO YOU THINK IT GOT TO BE THAT WAY?"

"daily training."

"....YES, THAT. BUT HAVING PLENTY OF MILK FALLS INTO THE REGIMEN AS WELL!"

"including the rest of the jug."

"THIS IS A ONE-TIME THING!!"

"so this where its been disappearing to at random all this time.."

"NO."

raising the jug to his mouth.

"LIKE I SAID, ONE-TIME THING."

"uhuh."

"I HEARD YOU SPEAKING A WHILE AGO."

"i was on the phone."

"WITH WHOM?"

"frisk."

"AGAIN?"

"yep."

"ISN'T IT PAST THEIR BEDTIME?"

"nah, it's friday."

"AH, RIGHT."

"suppose it's technically saturday now."

"REALLY? WHAT TIME IS IT?"

"uhh, let's see..."

after being in the dark for so long, we 𝘣𝘰𝘵𝘩 turned away from my phone screen light.

dimming the brightness, i showed him the time.

"IT'S FOUR ALREADY??"

"I DIDN'T MEAN TO BE DOWN HERE SO LONG."

"me either."

"let's get back to bed, huh?"

papyrus silently leaned against me.

"...ok. sleeping bags?"

"JUST THE COUCH."

"i'll grab our pillows."

#undertale #journal #sans #sans and frisk #papyrus #frisk #frisk and sans #soriel #toriel #sans and papyrus #skelebros

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jinkieswouldyoulookatthis · 11 months ago

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The reason that I cannot see Dean ever being sadistic in a relationship with anyone is because when he was doing his time in Hell and he finally broke and started doing the cutting, he enjoyed it, he took pleasure in it...

Wait, wait, wait, Jinkies, I thought you said this was a reason you couldn't see it?

Yep, I was getting there, because the fact that he derived any pleasure at all from it, while in literal Hell, was something that he absolutely hated about himself. Like, that was what was tearing him up so bad after he got topside again. Not so much that he'd done it, but that he'd enjoyed it, that was Hell's real torture for Dean.

Look at when the angels made him torture Alastair. He begged them not to make him do it. Being good at something doesn't mean that thing is good for you, or that you like it, or would ever choose to do it if given any other viable options. Torturing Alastair, who deserved it probably more than any other character ever, almost broke Dean again.

Now, when he was a demon??? Yes, definitely, he would have been sadistic as fuck. Sadly, the show chose to only give us subtle glimpses of this (curses for all eternity that the Demon!Dean story line was cut so short). And I dare say that Demon!Dean should have been wildly more sadistic than he was.

But human Dean? No, I do not think that he would like hurting someone, not at all, not even if they were really into it and asked him to do it. I think it would make him feel sick and disgusted with himself. So that particular kink, for me, with Dean, is completely off the table.

Now would he be down for a little light bondage? Handcuffs or other restraints that allow for restricted movement and a sense of relatively safe vulnerability? Hell yes, as long as his partner was into it. And maybe some spanking. But nothing harder than that. Nothing that actually hurt though.

#dean winchester #I'm cleaning out my drafts so y'all get random posts tonight #as opposed to my usual random posts lol

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jaxteller87 · 1 year ago

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my little empath 5

Teenager years

I had prepared the stones for Jax before his run just to give him a little extra protection and, if I’m being honest, a little extra peace of mind for myself. It’s something I’ve been exploring more and more lately—working with crystals and their energies. I’ve found that certain crystals can have a really calming or protective effect, like black tourmaline for instance, is said to absorb negative energy and promote a sense of security. I’ve been learning about these properties and experimenting with different crystals to see how they make me feel. It’s fascinating to discover how these natural elements can influence our well-being, so when I thought about Jax going out for a run, I wanted him to have a little extra support and positivity with him.

“Here you go, Teller,” I said later that day, slipping the crystals into each of the pockets of his jeans.

“Oh, hey, thanks,” he said with a confused stare. “So, uh, rocks?”

“Yep,” I laughed.

“Right,” he said in a long, drawn-out way. “Rocks?”

“Yeah, you know— because you ‘rocks’ my world,” I joked.

Jax threw his head back and laughed, “Alright, now that makes sense.”

“I thought you’d like that. But that’s only one of the reasons I’m giving these to you. Technically, they’re crystals. These ones, in particular, are black tourmaline.”

“Oh,” Jax pulled them out of his pocket and inspected them. “Kind of sounds like a badass name for a horse— or maybe something Tig contracted south of the border.”

“Ew. Let’s just go with the horse name,” I shuttered at the thought of Tig’s STD bucket list.

“Yeah, good idea. So, what does this black tourmaline do exactly?”

“Well, it’s like having a shield against negative vibes. This crystal absorbs that stuff and keeps you feeling grounded and protected. It’s like carrying a piece of nature’s armor with you wherever you go.” The more I told him, the more I felt compelled to share what I was learning about myself.

We chatted for a while, but the time of his departure was on us before I even began to scratch the surface. I kissed him before he left, and I missed him before I heard the sound of his Harley disappear in the distance. After a few hours, he called me to let me know he arrived safely.

“Does it smell like something’s burning?” I asked with a chuckle as my mom poked her head into my bedroom the next day.

“No, actually, what you’re burning smells good,” she admitted.

A few months back, when I first started experimenting with incense, the aroma caught my mom off guard. She stormed in, thinking there was a fire ablaze somewhere in our home! It took her a moment to realize it was just the incense I had burning in my room. After that incident, I made it a rule to always give a heads-up before lighting anything new. I definitely don’t want my parents rushing in, worried the house is about to go up in flames every time I try out a new scent or ritual.

As I spent time cleansing my crystals today, purging them of any negative energy, I could really feel the power of this black obsidian working its magic. It’s like a spiritual vacuum cleaner, sucking up all the negativity and leaving me feeling refreshed. And that tiger’s eye I picked up during my last visit to the metaphysical shop? It’s been incredible for manifestation. I swear, since I started working with it, I’ve been seeing my intentions take shape more clearly. It’s like having a little cosmic ally nudging things in the right direction.

A few days later, Jax was back in town. I was happy to see him, but he had a somewhat sad look on his face.

“Darlin’, I hope you kept your receipt for those stones you gave me.”

I already knew what he was going to say, but I let him say it anyway. “Why’s that?”

“Well, they uh— they broke. Like some cheap glass trinket. Maybe you got ripped off, and someone sold you some junk.”

I tried to hide my smile because the crystals had done their job. “Or maybe they did exactly what they were designed to,” I said under my breath, planting a big kiss on his lips.

Jax POV

I was at the metaphysical shop in town, feeling pretty bad that the rocks Amber gave me had broken. This led me to the grand idea of replacing them with new ones. As I browsed, the shop owner emerged from the back with a warm smile. This play was a little too ‘hippy-ish’ for me, but if Amber was into it, I was willing to give it an honest go.

“Finding everything okay?” she asked cheerfully as I picked up a black tourmaline.

“I think so,” I replied. I went on to explain my situation, and when the shop owner learned the crystals were for Amber, she kindly added a few extra ones. “Hey, thanks. You ‘rock!’” I said with a forced chuckle.

“My pleasure,” she smiled back. Either she didn’t get the joke, or it was dumber than it sounded to me— which was already pretty dumb.

Back at Amber’s parents’ house, we sat on the back patio. “Oh, Teller, thank you!” Amber exclaimed gratefully. “You really didn’t have to do this!”

“Of course I did. The shop owner also recommended this,” I said, sliding a tarot deck towards her. The look on Amber’s face was priceless.

She thanked me, all smiles and gratitude, but I could tell there was something else simmering beneath the surface. Amber had a knack for keeping her true intentions under wraps, playing her cards close to the vest. I decided to let it ride for now—after all, patience was key with her.

It would be some time before I cracked the code of what Amber was truly planning. Until then, I’d just have to wait and see what scheme she was brewing up behind that mischievously enchanting grin of hers.

#jax teller x oc #jax teller x disabled reader #jax teller fanfiction #jax teller fluff

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hepilsketches · 6 months ago

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(just text post)

damn, it just occured to me what I used 'European eyes' shape' wording in the tags recently, and it's obvious that not only European people have this eye shape. Sorry guys, I'm not exactly a paragon of awareness when it comes to this kind of stuff (the fact that English is not my native language doesn't help too). Which word should've I used instead, I wonder? 🤔 'Caucasian'? (in my language, this word refers to a specific group of people living in a particular small part of Europe, so it's all quite confusing, tbh.)

Another thing that occured to me is that some of my jeeko narratives can be interpreted as homophobic. And damn! It definitely wasn't my intention.

(I mean, the whole 'happy lovey-dovey gay couple' thing is just not jeeko aesthetic as I see it (at the same time, I'm generally not comfortable with drawing NSFW - at least for now). This ship has very intricate mechanics which work for me only with a right ratio of all the components, and elusive beauty of such a romance is much more difficult to catch visually (at least with my level of skill). I still think about the organic ways I can depict it without glamorizing the characters way too much. The 'crude' part is considerably easier to work with, though.)

Anyway, I want to make it clear that I don't approve homophoby in any way and support lgbt community. … fun fact, though: in the country I live in, just for these words of mine (let alone all my jeeko sketches) I can literally go into prison, lol. … please don't call the police I still like my kidneys and want to live for some reason. And I suspect some rudimentary bits of homophobic upbringing can still lurk in the dark corners of my brain, I'm afraid. But I really want to be a better person.

So, yep. If some of my words or drawings translate homophobic/racist/etc. narrative, it's totally unintentional and happens due to my ignorance. So feel free to point it out in replies (or personal messages) so I can correct such patterns (I mean, if I agree with your reasoning, of course).

(This applies to all stuff I say, actually. I never try to say disturbing things on purpose - I'm just… a natural, lol. My empathy and social skills suck with all the might of turbo vacuum cleaner, I tend to be too blunt without realizing it, and as a cherry on top, I have an exceptional talent to put my complex messages in the wrongest ways possible lol. But… I still want to talk, unfortunately. So, yep. Sorry for all the possible upsets.)

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befuddled-calico-whump · 1 year ago

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Benj is my number one favorite guy, drama kid is best and just imagining him doing backstage shenanies is absolutely wonderful. So I’ve been thinking. I have a few monologues memorized, and just randomly pulling them out and reciting them and watching people be confused is so funny. I feel like Benji would do that to distract people so that other people can sneak in and do their thing.

So.

Imagine this: he’s talking to a security guard while the rest of the crew is sneaking into a building. “How are we today?” he says, leaning up against the fence next to him. “A little quiet? I’m feeling a little… blue myself. A little anxious for no particular reason, a little sad that I should be feeling anxious at this stage of life. You know, a little self conscious anxiety that results in unspecific sadness. A state that I call blue.”

At this point he is standing up and moving around and using his hands and body to accentuate his words and block the rest of the crew from sight.

“Anyway,” he says, “whenever I’m feeling this way— blue— I like to listen to my music. So I was going through my box of records this morning— yes, records— and what should I find but Gable and Stein’s The Drowsy Chaperone!” He makes awkward eye contact with the guard for a few moments. “Remember? Music by Julie Dale, Lyrics by Sydney Stein?”

A few more moments of awkward eye contact, then, “Here, I’ll tell you what it says on the back. It says “music, mayhem, and a gay wedding.” He pauses and then laughs. “Of course, that meant a different thing then then it does now, but then it just meant fun! And that’s exactly what this show is— fun!”

Yet more awkward eye contact while the security guard is trying to figure out how to respond, and Benji sighs long-sufferingly, putting his hand on the guard’s shoulder and waving his hand in the air like he’s showing a headline. “Just visualize. Imagine, if you will: it’s November of 1928 and you’ve just arrived at the doors of the Moscow theater. It’s cold and a heavy sleet is falling from the sky l, but you don’t care, because you’re about to see a Broadway show!”

The security guard nods awkwardly and shrugs Benji’s hand off his shoulder, walking away backward very slowly. “Yeah, I have to go. Sorry.” After a few steps, he starts sprinting.

Benji waits until he’s out of sight, and then runs over to the group, who are hiding behind the wall so they’re not seen. “I got him. We’re good. Let’s go.”

Hunter starts laughing, telling Benji how weird he looked, Joy and Jericho congratulate him, and Kaius makes some comment on how it took him long enough, and then Benji picks the lock and they continue on with their mission.

The rest of the crew: holy shit dude! How'd you come up with that so quick?

Benji, laughing nervously: yep, definitely all me!

#ahahahaha #he would though #he can't think of anything to say? well!#he's got a dozen monologues still floating around in his head AND thousands of songs he can just say and have them sound natural #beautiful #t$$ ask #theonewithallthefixations

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shortkidenergy · 2 years ago

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OK DONE WITH PART 1

Characterization thoughts:

Bill: I like kid Bill a lot. especially as part 1 goes on you see more and more of that gravity he has and why he’s Big Bill who all the other kids (and anyone with sense) would follow into hell. i always imagine Bill with dark hair and maybe…a little stockier? but i think this Bill felt more visually and emotionally like book Bill than movie Bill did to me. closer to my ideal Bill. a platonic Bill if you will. adult Bill I still haven’t seen much of yet but the PONYTAIL. the PONYTAIL IS HILARIOUS. i love that in the book adult Bill was bald and in the miniseries they were like what if he had A LOT of hair tho. it’s such a bad ponytail.

Ben: oh Ben my beloved. kid Ben might be my favorite of these losers. he’s SO EFFORTLESSLY COOL and i really love that for him. like the actor is genuinely so great. he’s sweet but also just so cool. which is like honestly so Ben. im sad it feels like they’re playing down how smart he is by removing the library and replacing his scare with something about his dad. or whatever that was going on with his cousin??? unfortunately as much as i love kid ben so far adult ben is my least favorite. i haven’t seen much of him so i’m trying not to judge too harshly but everything about his introduction was so ://. he’s supposed to be a weird lone reclusive artist who frequents a particular bar so often he knows the bartender. he’s supposed to live in the middle of nowhere and have picked up cowboy traits. making him a player???????? no. this man is SO insecure. (yes he is also Very Hot and Lots of people would be attracted to him but the DIFFERENCE is that he would not get close enough to anyone for that to matter. because 1 he’s gone back to being the lone wolf he was before joining the Losers and 2 his heart is still holding out for Bev even if he doesn’t remember her…)

Eddie: kid Eddie is GREAT. he’s like a tiny little old man and that’s fantastic. his voice, his lines, his clothes, the way he *walks* perfect. impeccable. tiny little geriatric man. no notes. it’s sad that we don’t get his character arc with his asthma and everything, but i get why they didn’t have time to flesh out the characters the way they did in the book/movies (unless that’s coming in part 2 but from the scene where they all passed around Eddie’s inhaler i kind of doubt it). i also LOVE that they kept Eddie’s sense of direction. i just love when all the kids have special powers for no explicable reason. Eddie just always knows where to go 🥺 adult Eddie I have not seen much of but i have HIGH HOPES FOR. i love his look, i love his voice, i love his micromanaging. so far he’s my favorite adult. can’t wait for good things and only good things to happen to him in part 2 :)

Bev: very fond. i really really like how kid Bev looks. her wardrobe and those braids. it just really feels like she’s a scrappy kid right with the rest of them. the movies made her feel a little more…grown up/cooler than the rest of them but i guess thinking about it the kids are older in the movies. and like she is supposed to be cool and she is cool but she’s cool the same way the rest of them are, y’know? i really really liked her bantering with Richie. i have such a soft spot for their friendship and i really felt it here. grown up Bev i haven’t seen much of, but so far i like her. i wasn’t so sure at the very first scene, but after she got the call from mike i was like ohhh yep there she is.

Richie: oh Richie ascshdjs. i like this Richie a lot. definitely feels a lot like book Richie which makes a lot of sense because book Richie is so very from the 50s, and so is this one lol. i love his look and body language. when he’s running from the werewolf i’m just like yep there he is. limbs too long. flailing around. perfect. LOVED when he dumped his drink on the bullies. LOVE whenever he says shit and starts shit. he’s just so much fun. the chemistry between him and Eddie isn’t as strong as it is in the movies (i honestly don’t remember how it was in the book) which is for sure missed. but also they feel like they have an age difference between them that they don’t in the movies. adult Richie i’m ehhh on so far. i just don’t think i’ve seen enough of him yet.

Mike: sad that we don’t get to see more of him as a kid :( don’t love the way he was introduced but a lot of that is i think because i don’t like that they are in school. i also think he’s…smarter. than to draw attention to himself like that. also the fact that doesn’t go to school with the rest of the losers kind of feels like an important thing that got missed. that’s why none of them know him. i also feel like his connection to the historical racial violence in Derry is under-played by just having him just presented as being interested in Derry’s history of violence. like there’s a REASON he knows this stuff and it’s because of his PARENTS. specifically his DAD. who i am upset has never made it into any film adaptation. will hanlon my beloved :,( ultimately i don’t feel like i got enough of kid mike to decide how i feel about him. ADULT MIKE HOWEVER i am a fan of. his vibes are GOOD. i love him sticking his nose in the crime scene at the start. i love that that’s the opening. i love this nosy librarian who gets Involved In Shit. I really love how he looks. His voice. Everything about him. high hopes for adult mike in part 2

And finally…

Stan: oh Stan :( my baby. it took me until the stan part to get a read on him and. wow. both kid and adult stan are Really Really Good. the grabbing his ear and reciting the boyscout code or whatever it was he was doing. again i get why we didn’t get birds if it’s just a cut characterization for time thing so i LOVE that they gave him something else to recite. and oh my god when he sees the photograph and he just. has a mini meltdown i. god i love him so much. he’s so so scared to go into the sewer. he gets the brunt of the trauma down there. and then he’s so so reluctant to promise to come back. and god when he gets the call. and he and patty are so sweet…it’s so interesting how the timing of his bath is different in the book, movies, and mini series. and i think this one is honestly the most devastating. like the book you know right off the bat, and then it’s a slow sort of pain as you get to know him because you know exactly how he ends. the movies… i guess i don’t know what it’s like to watch them without knowing what happens, but i feel like the break in between the first and second movies shaves the edge of it down. but here. here you’ve seen the rest of them answer the phone. you’ve seen him throughout in the background. then you see just how devastated he is by It. just how much he can’t accept it. how traumatized he is. how he went into the tunnels scared and came out scared and still promised to come back. and then. and *then* Stanly takes a bath.

devastating.

i was planning to write more about other stuff but it’s getting late and i wrote so much more here than i thought i was going to asgdj. probably expect at least another one of these when i watch part 2

#my brain words #it 1990 #it spoilers #it liveblogging #longpost

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