#Dimitri is just over the moon of being a big brother as hes been an only child his whole life

[koroart]

Thinking Lambrigue thoughts and like...how cute it would be if they raised a baby together 🥺

[dragongutsixofficial]

You mentioned that you tend to work through a Nobody Dies lens. Does that apply to Dimitri, and what is his relationship with the Hresvelg siblings?

Thanks for the ask !! ^^ It took quite some time for me to make up my mind about this specific thing and yes, that lens does apply to Dimitri. There's a few reasons to this decision, which I need to recontextualize a bit in regards to the Hresvelg siblings:

I'll start by this: Aline and Adel do not consider Dimitri as their sibling at all. This isn't due to the fact that they are not related by blood (they both have different mothers than Patricia), but rather because they have basically never met before the Academy nor developed a meaningful relationship during their time there. Both of them always had in mind that they would end up betraying and declaring war on everyone in Garreg Mach, and that Dimitri would end up being one of their fiercest enemies as King. Moreover, Adel has never liked him because they are both faced with very similar mental health issues and he has some internalized trauma that he doesn't like to see reflected in someone else. As such, if it had only been for the two of them and Edelgard, Dimitri's death, although incredibly sad and unfortunate, could have been a logical conclusion to his arc in Crimson Flower.

The real issue here is Loki. For some context (although I just linked his character sheet), he is Patricia and Lambert's kid and since their couple was already Going To Shit™ by the time he was a toddler, he mostly stuck to his older brother's side. However, during the events of the tragedy of Duscur, during which he travelled with his mother, TWSTID decided to abduct him rather than kill him, and raise him to be a puppet with a legitimate claim to rule Fodlan in case Edelgard ever decided to rebel against them. And although he got brainwashed by his uncle Thales/Arundel, he never forgot about Dimitri and deeply wished to reunite with him; this also means that when he first got to meet with and learn about the existence of the rest of the Hresvelg siblings thanks to Kronya (I'll go over this in a later post) as a young teenager, his whole world was completely shattered. Long story short, that led him to join the Hresvelg siblings and get to be part of a family again. However, Loki never once forgets about Dimitri, on the contrary: realizing that Edelgard and him are on their merry way to fight each other to the death only amplifies his wish to see him again after all those years and convince him to make peace with her, because he just wants to have his whole family back and alive. As such, seeing any of his siblings die would absolutely destroy him.

That means that Dimitri could survive in Crimson Flower. and if he doesn't Loki might never recover. But then, how so ?

Sadly, it is in my own opinion unlikely that Edelgard and Dimitri could ever see eye-to-eye and become allies, even with Loki as a middle ground. Especially since Loki doesn't care for the Kingdom per see and feels a lot closer to his Agarthan culture of adoption and his focus is on bringing TWSTID down. Any attempt at discussion would just end up being a repeat of their Azure Moon talk at best, because their world visions are just too different.

This entails that any of Loki's attempts at convincing Dimitri to make peace with his sister would be unfruitful. First, because Dimitri would've thought Loki had died a long time ago, and finding out his little brother is alive would be a pretty big blow: but you know what would be an even bigger blow ? Finding out that he was raised by and thus, helped TWSTID, the same people who are responsible for the genocide of Duscur and their parents' death. And that he is still technically helping them by standing at Edelgard's side, the very person who betrayed all of them. The only way they could rebuild a stronger relationship would be if Loki decided to join his side, something that he is unwilling to do since A) he has three siblings on the imperial side and B) all four of them are planning to take down TWSTID. Unfortunately, this means that all of Loki and Dimitri's interactions post-timeskip end up in disaster- although none of them ever physically hurts the other in battle. This depresses Loki quite a bit, and enrages Adel, but he eventually accepts that he cannot take responsibility for his older siblings' actions and settles on one goal: keeping them from beating each other to death.

However, Loki brings something new to the table regarding Edelgard and Dimitri's relationships: memories. At his contact, El makes the connection and remembers the time she spent in Faerghus with the prince, which does make her take a step back. Although that is definitely not enough to make her negociate, it is to make her consider sparing him in battle- a bit like how in-game, Claude can be spared. Her unwillingness to back down from her ideals, though, makes it absolutely necessary that Dimitri is removed from any position of authority, else he could always rally support against the Empire. The Kingdom of Faerghus as a geopolitical entity may survive, but the Blaiddyd monarchy needs to go.

So... Where does that lead us ? To a rather bleak solution which is far from perfect, but has to make-do in their complicated circumstances where both sides can't meet in the middle. Edelgard agrees to spare Dimitri in the battle of Tailtean, and lets him go- letting Loki take the lead on this one. This means that Loki has to accept that he might never see him again, and that he might never forgive him. This can turn one of two ways:

I do believe that if Dedue survives and hasn't turned into a demonic beast yet, he can convince Dimitri to go without pulling a stunt similar to the one Edelgard pulls with the dagger in Azure Moon in a last desperate attempt to kill the Empress, because he still has him to cling to.

Otherwise, Dimitri truly loses everything and everyone: in which case convincing him to seize the opportunity to stay alive would be pointless. In that eventuality, Loki forces his hand and just teleports him out- making it impossible for him to make it back to the battlefield before all is lost. Which... is an even bleaker alternative.

In any case, that means that the Hresvelg siblings and Dimitri have to cut contact, at least for a good number of years. Maybe someday, when Fodlan (and especially Faerghus) is rebuilt, they might get in contact again- once both Loki and him can have some time to heal. Maybe slowly rebuild a semblance of a relationship, who knows ?

... Well damn. That was a BUMMER and incredibly angsty. Sadly, not all things can have the best ending for everyone involved. =(

=D Thankfully, Claude and Edelgard's relationship would be a lot better- no fucking thanks to Aline !

[tinnictheguardian]

Random Musings on Three Hopes

Warning, contains spoilers!

I am still playing Azure Gleam. But I have heard enough about Golden Wildfire to have some thoughts. So here's some random things that have occurred to me!

On Miklan

Miklan situation is much more complex then crest vs non-crests: So turns out Miklan and Sylvain are half-brothers with his mom dying in a Sreng raid while pregnant and fleeing the plague. But Sylvain's mom seems to have loved Miklan as if he was her own son. Also, Miklan claims that he cut ties with his house first but Margrave says he did disown Miklan, so I think the sequence is that Miklan cut ties and became a bandit, which forced an official disownment.

I also think that a lot of Miklan's hate for Sylvain wasn't just about crests. I recently read how half-siblings often feel like outsiders. Just because they can see how the picture is complete without them. Not to mention, if Miklan loved his step-mom, he might have been terrified during her pregnancy, worried she would leave him too! Who would have thought Miklan would be the character to come out of Three Hopes with more complexity!

Claude and Cyril

We all know that VW became a copy of SS because Three Houses had to be rushed to completion. But I do not believe the route would be that much different even if they had a chance to give it more its own identity. VW certainly would not have had that Byleth kills Edelgard cinematic recycled from SS but overall, I think VW does fit a Claude who studied at the Academy for a whole year and more importantly, who trusted Teach.

However, while having someone he trusts being in a position where they can take over the church is one big reason why VW Claude didn't have to burn it to the ground to do away with the Serios Fate's isolationism. I think the reason Claude in Three Houses never allies with Edelgard in any route is because of Cyril

Cyril is pretty unique in the world of Fodlan in that he was born in the lowest rung of the ladder in Almyra and had very little control over his life. He ended up in Fodlan following a failed Almyran raid and became a servant with Hilda's family. However, he seems to be treated relatively well and eventually came to Rhea, who showed him kindness and gave him the means to better his lot in life by offering stability and education. Rhea treats him like a person. He serves her not because she will toss him out if he didn't earn his keep, its genuine gratitude.

I feel that Cyril's purpose within the narrative of Three Houses is to humanise Rhea for both Claude and the audience. It didn't work with Western Audiences but I think in-universe it did work for Claude.

Three House Claude doesn't side with Edelgard because he learns to see people like Cyril. That's the essence of his B-support with Cyril and his interactions with Cyril during VW cut scenes

It's why Houses Claude trusts Dimitri in a way Hopes Claude never can. Apart from Houses Claude knowing Dimitri, because they spent a year one room apart, I feel like Houses Claude recognises that Dimitri cares about the Cyril's of the world and grows to accept that's something worth doing. I don't think Hopes Claude even remembers that people like Cyril exist.

That all said, I really hope Hopes killed the "Claude kills racism" memes. It was never justified.

Shez vs Byleth

Claude's change also highlights the biggest difference between Shez and Byleth. Byleth is more or less equal to the Lords. So the trust she has with them is different to that of Shez, who is employed by the Lords and being the same age, starts of a friend.

Not that Byleth isn't a friend but I feel her position as their professor does have a big impact on her relationship with Dimitri and Claude.

For Claude, Byleth is someone he can trust and has learnt to trust as an equal. So he can believe that she (and Dimitri in Azure Moon) will help him bring his dream to life. He can believe that he will share Almyran tea with them in a small town on the borders. So the foundation of Fodlan, the Church of Seiros, doesn't have to be raised to the ground. Instead, verdant winds of change can flow over it slowly and gently.

For Dimitri, at least based on his A-support with Shez, he doesn't learn to live for himself. He never reclaims his life and continues to think that his death will be a happy event. Especially if he can die knowing his people are safe. But regardless, his death will be a release. Azure Moon Dimitri does regain the will to live, which is the gist of his support with Gilbert/Gustava. That's not to say that Azure Gleam Dimitri won't reach the point where he's happy to be alive. But it is interesting that he doesn't get there with Shez based on what I have seen so far.

Homunculus and AI

This is something I have been thinking about ever since the fight with Cornelia/Cleobulus. Based on how she talks, it strongly implies that she's a different consciousness that has been transplanted into the body of the original Cornelia.

By contrast, Thalas seems to have his original body that he disguised using some sort of illusion magic. Kronya too implies her body is superior to that of a human

This makes me think that maybe all TWSITD are homunculus with access to magic-based AI that they can transplant into meat sacks.

So it's not just that they look down on humans because they are more primitive, they dislike humans because they are "beasts". While they as constructs of knowledge and technology, thus they are superior.

This is a common enough theme in sci-fi where the generation of AI that's built by AI is the one that really starts to hate humans. The first generation of AI that's built by humans thinks of humans as creators but when AI is built by AI, humans become imperfect beasts. Then if the Goddess herself is a beast, divine dragon or not, I can see hatred starting to form simply because the other exists.

Who would have thought Fire Emblem would become Mass Effect! Indeed, if the leaks about Toothpaste-chan are correct, maybe the next Fire Emblem will be set more in the future and involve Space, the final frontier!

Anyway, the Switch is charged, so it's time for me to go back to Azure Gleam!

[misselko]

LIONESS

Warnings: Angst, fluff, small violence

Words: 20.130

 

“Begin.”

Loud clashing of lances can be heard through Garreg Mach hallway.

The red-haired skirt chaser barely able to hear you said it when you rushed him. Sylvain knew that he should focus on his strikes.  He didn’t have time to be impressed at this small, petite girl that is jabbing her lance so fast against him. Devastatingly fast. And strikingly strong. ‘It is such a wonder how a small, petite body like hers held so much power’. That’s the last thing that passed his mind before (Y/N)’s lance has cracked so loudly against his that he thought it might snap. Beautiful, fierce, deadly (E/C) orbs that staring into his soul has captivated the Gautier heir and got him hard knock on his shin, felling him over.

“Whoa there! I yield. You do like it rough, don’t you, (Y/N)?” Sylvain raise his hands on the air with and winks seductively. Rolling your eyes, you put a light tap on his neck at his remarks.

“Though she be but little, she is fierce. (Y/N) is the youngest among us, but she is indeed a Lioness!” Dimitri claps over your third in a row winning for today. You beat Felix in sword and Dimitri in the lance spar.

“That’s what you get for skipping classes, Sylvain. And.. keep up with your solid techniques, excellent moves, and rapid quick footwork, (Y/N). That’s all for our combat class today,” said Professor.

“She’s a few inch shorter than me but she had effortlessly defeated Blue Lions’ strongest lancer and swordsman! That’s my favourite lil sis (Y/N) for you!! ” said Annette giddily. She hugs you in a death grip embrace and sings her silly song.

Everyone are so nice to you, to the point of spoiled rotten! Especially Ingrid and Mercie! They are like your big sisters, always offering their help to ride pegasi and give endless supplies of baked sweets that you love very much. Felix is kinda harsh and always eager to spar with you, but he’s the first person to get angry when someone bullies you because you are so small. So kind, almost feel like a big brother! Dimitri helps you with your late night studies and picking books in the higher shelves on the library a lot. Dedue and Ashe cook dinner together with you on your duty day.

They see (Y/N) as the sweet smol bean that has to be protected at all cost!

“Are you free tonight, Munchkin?” Care to join me to visit the town and get something to eat? I know this little restaurant that has nice dessert! My treat, of course! Think of it as a token of congratulations from me on your brilliance today!” Sylvain put his hand on your shoulder in a friendly gesture and wink seductively.

“Seteth will scold us for sure, Syl! This is the fourth or fifth time we went for a late dinner this week,” you pout at his invitation. “He won’t. I’ll walk you back before curfew as usual. Don’t want my Kitten to get  hurt on her way back. Night walk can be dangerous, you know.”

“Why you are being so nice to me, Syl... Your girls will be upset and kill me for sure.”

“Nah.. I don’t have any! It would be a shame to waste such a beautiful evening alone. Besides, I don’t want to let my Munchkin starved in her sleep! Not to mention that you just looked awfully cute with your cheeks stuffed.” You smacked his shin and rewarded with a loud yelp from him.  “Lead the way. And.. it’s not like I like it or something like that, you know! Don’t get any wrong ideas,” you hide your blush and took his huge hand in your tiny ones.

The food was delightful as usual and Sylvain stay true to his words about going back before the curfew.

As you both closed the large door’s that marked the dormitory, you were greeted by the crisp spring night. Warm wind passed over your forms, and crickets chirped in the night.

“While we’re at it, how about a little board games rematch at my quarters? I got a new strategy to show you, Syl!”

“Bring it on then, (Y/N)! Let’s bring some sweet buns as usual to snack on later as well, then.”

“It’s a deal!”

“I’d think playing it on the bed would be more comfortable than doing it on the floor. You might catch another cold and passed out like last month in my room. It scared the living daylights out of me! Nope, never trying that again.”

“It’s not fun being frail and get sick easily.” You sigh.

“No problem. Think of it as a good chance for me to get to carry you around in my arms. For our weddi-- Ouch!!” he faux a sad face melodramatically when you punch his hand away playfully. “You might be small and petite but these hands are a force to be reckoned with. You’re as strong as a lioness,” said the philanderer as he ruffled your hair affectionately.

 

It was such a beautiful night.

---

“Do you have a moment, Miss (Y/N)? I have something important to tell you regarding my research and your Crest. We can discuss it in more detailed manner in my research room,” Professor Hanneman ask you out of the blue after the afternoon battle strategy class.

 

“Crest? But I’m sure I don’t have any, Professor! It’s stated as clear as a day in my enrollment documents, isn’t it?”

 

“There’s a mistake, Miss (Y/N). And I sworn it on my name as the Father of Crestology, you do HAVE a Crest. A Major one at that! Congratulations! I have sent a letter to your family and inform other Professors and your House Leader regarding this matter. I have my suspicion about your Crests since I watch your  prowess at combat and when it activates, the timing, and the flash of....”

 

You are a bit shocked about this and decided to ignore this fact, having a hard time to process this shocking information. Your family and other members of Blue Lions will be very surprised of this information. Is it going to be a good thing or not? Professor Hanneman’s murmurs fell on your deaf ears as you politely excuse yourself out of his room. ‘It’ll be better to keep this as a secret to avoid unwanted attention nor unnecessary commotion’ you think to yourself.

---

Moons have passed. Then the night of the ball came. Urged by your curiosity, you are eager to wait for your true love at the Goddess Tower. You were hardly expecting to see Sylvain, of all people. The surprise at seeing each other was mutual. The both of you stood there for a moment, simply enjoying the scene before you. You wrapped your arms around yourself to stave off the chill that went down your spine, shuffling closer to the older man.

 

“Do you even believe the rumors about this place?” he asked as he lay his uniform coat over your shivering form. “My curiosity gets the best of me. But am glad to find you here, Syl.”

 

“Huh.” Sylvain went quiet, his face etched with contemplation. After he thought about it a little, he let out a huff of breath and frowned.

 

“Well, the person I’m interested in... is already here. You’re here alone. I’m here alone. I was thinking maybe....”

“Wait. Me?”

“Well, of course! We’re the only two people here, aren’t we? I keep thinking about it, and it just makes sense. My Crest and yours...”

“How did you...?”

“Dimitri told me. I have confirmed it with Professor Hanneman as well. A Major one, he said. So lucky.”

He looked down at you menacingly. Your eyes were averted away from his, looking away into the distance. “What do you mean? I’m still me, Syl.  Crest or no Crest.”

Despite your dismissive answer, something changed in his expression. He took his hands from behind his neck and stalked towards you. This wasn’t at all like the kind and flirty Sylvain you loved. He’s... different.

“You know what? I’m a bit jealous. The whole time you were growing up, you never knew you had a Crest. You were free. Nobody pretended to like you. I kind of hate you for that...” he slammed you hard against the wall behind you. Strangled pained noise came from you.

His knees rest on either side of your petite body and his arms cage your head, his much bigger hand grasp yours roughly. “All you’re worth to me is a little bit of fun. We’ve been having fun, haven’t we? I thought that you understood,” Sylvain’s face a mere inch from yours, glaring daggers at you. You can feel your tears begin welling, threatening to spill at his words.

 

“Is that really what you think of me? I thought... I was different. So… our friendship has just been for nothing?” you muttered quietly, holding back your sobs.

 

He scoffed. “Of course you are. You’re just some dumb noble looking for crest babies. You never meant anything to me.” His rejection was validation of your worst fear, that you were just like every other girl. Your friendship had all fallen apart and meant nothing for him.

 

“Playing around with girls is the most fun a guy can have. Besides, I don’t care what you think of me. I don’t intend to change how I live my life. I’m a good-for-nothing, if you haven’t noticed, but I’m still a noble with a Crest. That’s all anyone cares about. It’s best to avoid getting too serious with fools like me.” His expression darkens and unreadable. The carefree mask was long gone.

 

“My Crest bring me nothing but pain. I thought maybe...if I made someone else suffer, it might help me feel better.” His hand shot up and grabbed you by your throat. Sylvain held you in front of him, tightened his grip, choking you hard. His caramel eyes glowed dark with excitement.

 

“Unnnghhh......Syl....”

You tried to squirm away but he clamped his hand tighter, making it harder for you to breathe. Your legs felt weak and limp. The pain was too intense.

 

“You were a spoiled brat who should pay for that Crest. Maybe I’ll collect the debt.” His expression dark as he looked up at you.

 

Focusing yourself, you punch his jaw as hard as you can. To your surprise, a blinding flash of your Crest shows up when you smack him as hard as you can, making Sylvain flinch in pain, dropping you with a loud thud on the cold floor. You stumbled back and dropped to your knees. Gasping for air, you tried to rub the pain from your throat, doing your best to pick yourself up.

 

“Sylvain Jose Gautier!  I care not for your Crest nor title! It means nothing to me. I like.. no, love you because you are the strongest, kindest, funniest, and the most caring person that I know. Even you are such a skirt chaser, but you always very considerate and protective of me. I never felt this way before about someone. This is my first time but... This… This was a mistake. Sorry. I hope.. you find your own happiness someday,” you said, your voice is raspy from his deadly grip and your sadness. Tears were finally flowing freely from you.

 

Sylvain’s posture becoming rigid despite his feigned relaxed position. “H-hey,” Sylvain said, his voice softened somewhat. “Please, don’t cry. I’m sorry...”, he tried to pat your head, but you step back instinctively. The red head flinch and turned away when he saw angry purplish hue on your neck. Guilt began creeping on his conscience.

 

“I believe you. You’re not a bad person, Sylvain, no matter what anyone says. I care about you. Our friendship, dinners, late nights walk and banters... I cherished them a lot. Really, I do. I love you, Sylvain.” You couldn’t meet his eyes, couldn’t look at anything besides the floor. “That’s what I came to tell you, but... nevermind. Good night, Syl. I’ll see you tomorrow in class.”

 

“Did you mean that? (Y/N), wait!” He spoke with disbelief.

“Why would I lie?” you asked, hardly audible. “Goodbye, Syl.”

 

His pleas fell on deaf ears as you dash yourself as fast as possible from Goddess Tower, locking yourself inside your quarters, clutching to Sylvain’s uniform coat, while crying yourself to sleep.

---

That’s the last thing that you can remember from your Academy Days. Things were never the same since that night. You never talk to the playboy ever again since that incident. No more night walks or late board games. When you have to work together in weekly duty, there’s an unseen awkward distance and heavy tension between you two.

 

The notorious philanderer went back into his old ways, going around with a different girl each day. You often catch him glimpse at you with eyes full of remorse and sadness (mostly when he thinks you aren’t looking or noticing). Everyone in the Blue Lions noticed the changes between your relationship but being very considerate of your feelings and trying to not mention anything about it.

 

Your Father called you back home because of his grave illness in Pegasus Moon, insisting you to leave the Officers Academy behind. Blue Lions was taken aback and sad with your abrupt leave. Going back to your home in Fhirdiad, days flies in a blur motion into moons and years.

---

It’s been 5 years since you left your Academy days in Garreg Mach.

A bloody coup led by Cornelia causes Duke Rufus and Dimitri both to be apparently killed. Her  tyranny left Fhirdiad in poor state with poverty and famine. Holy Kingdom of Faerghus thrown into disarray condition with their Prince’s disappearance. The nation is plagued by civil strife and hardship.

 

With the vast majority of the former Kingdom lords having bent the knee to the overwhelming power of the Empire, all Blaiddyd territory, including the Kingdom capital, is ruled by those who are cooperating with the Empire, and is thus renamed the Faerghus Dukedom. Houses Fraldarius and Gautier were left to spearhead the resistance as the primary opponents of the Dukedom.

 

As the legitimate Marchioness of your major noble house in Blaiddyd territory after her Father’s passing, (Y/N) decided to keep on fighting against Empire until the bitter end, along with Houses of Fraldarius, Gautier, and Galatea. You keep maintain close relationships them, mostly with the neighbouring Houses, Fraldarius and Galatea. Whether it may be reinforcements soldiers to House Fraldarius or stock supplies to House Galatea, you are so much eager to give it all (sometimes by going there personally—much to your advisors’ dismay) to aid them.  Being always giving or adding the most relevant information about current war state developments made you overjoyed when you heard about the news of Dimitri’s plan to recapture Fhirdiad.

---

It’s been forever since your last time fighting on the battlefield. Reclaiming the capital is a daunting task with shortage of soldiers and resources. Rodrigue’s death is a devastating blow to Faerghus’ military strength and resources. Not to mention that House Gautier and Galatea has any resources to spare. With limited resource of your own House, you decided to prioritize evacuation of Faerghus’ citizens and helping Blue Lions to the utmost.

 

Dimitri marches for Fhirdiad, causing the oppressed citizens to revolt against Cornelia’s tyranny People are rebelling against Cornelia and Fhirdiad has turned into a gruesome battlefield. Fire was everywhere The sound of metals echoed loudly in your ears. Large Titanus crowded the streets and wreaking havoc upon buildings and citizens. With your sword in your hands, you leap and cut through Kingdom Soldiers that is preparing to activate Viskam turrets against Felix.

 

You pushed forward with great caution. When you are done helping a pair of elders and children under the rubbles to evacuate, you saw him. Sylvain. Fighting over a mage and a large Titanus all by himself. Did he get separated? He barely dodged a fireball when you strike down that mage.

 

“Munchki--!” He gasped, surprised to see you back.

“Watch out, Syl!”

You leap in front of him, parrying and slash back at the Titanus’ large appendages that is going to smash him. Sylvain cast a Ragnarok and taking down the golem-like creature with a loud explosion, sending flying debris everywhere. He gasped, grabbed your arm and pulled you out of the way. 

 

“Ugh... that hurts. Are you okay, Munchkin?” He was trapped under the rubbles and the first thing that he asked is your safety?

“W-why did you do that, Syl? You got hurt protecting me. Didn’t you want to kill me?”, you said as you helped him out from the rubble.  Fortunately he is okay aside from a few scratch and bruises.

 

“When I thought you were going to be killed for real, my reflexes kicked in. I reacted without thinking. It doesn’t mean I’ve stopped being jealous of you. But, come on, I can’t help looking up to you.” He look at you with eyes full of worry and sadness.

 

“Sylvain..... Well.. It’s been awhile, but as much as I want to chat with you, we have to help Professor and Dimitri first. Cornelia has brought us so many sufferings. Now’s the time to put an end to all of this. And... thank you, Syl.” He nods and push forward to throw his lance at a Pegasus Knight that is fighting against Ingrid.

 

“I will go to deactivate Titanus’ lever. I know its location and it will help everyone tremendously against that gigantic monster! I’ll open Fhirdiad’s secret passages within my House territory to help everyone to get better access to Cornelia. When I’m done with it, I’ll regroup with reinforcement soldiers from my House to evacuate more citizens on the east side of Royal Capital, then go to help Dimitri fighting against Cornelia. See you later, Syl. Please stay safe.” You bid your farewell and run through smaller alley path, doing your missions, leaving Sylvain astonished at your very thorough, detailed plans.

 

Without the Titanus, Cornelia only has archers as her backups. As you take the archers down with Felix and Annette, Professor and Dimitri are working together to close in on her and take her down. It was a gruesome battle, but thanks to everyone’s efforts, casualties were kept to minimum and reclaiming Fhirdiad is a big success after Cornelia has been defeated.

---

It may be spring, but the nights are quite chilly here in Fhirdiad. The people are rejoicing at the return of their King. After a hard won battle of reclaiming Royal Capital of Fhirdiad, celebratory feast shows no sign of stopping. Growing weary of the festivities, you decided to excuse yourself from the banquet at the castle balcony.

“Munchkin. Here you are. His Highness has been looking for you. He wanted to express his gratitude for your loyalty and huge help at reclaiming Fhirdiad.”

“Good evening, Syl. We just did our utmost to help. Fhirdiad’s  peace and safety of the Blue Lions is of the most important thing for me, after all.”

A moment of silence passed where both of you stayed still, just basking in the moonlight and enjoying each others’ presence for a while.

“I’m sorry. I really am.” You are taken aback when Sylvain bows his head deeply in front of you.

“I know I messed up really bad and it’s fair enough if you can’t find it in your heart to forgive me. My jealousy got the best of me and it has brought you so much harm. Most girls just want me for my title or my Crest, and when I thought that it was the same for you, I… I was the one who made a mistake. I’m sorry, truly I am.” Peeking at him from the corner of your eye, you could see the furrow of Sylvain’s brows, the frowning twist of his lips. It was a look you’d never seen on him. Regret and pain. He looks so vulnerable. Somehow, you didn’t doubt the apology.

“Please elaborate, Syl.”

“Since I bear a Crest, my parents made sure I was never left wanting. My older brother didn’t have one, and so when I was born, he was pushed aside. My mere existence stole everything from him. There’s so many people that want to get close to me because of my crest. Because of something I didn’t even want to be born with. I wish I could have cared as little about my Crest as you do yours...,” he grimaces, running a hand through his hair briskly. “Women smile at me for the same reason my parents adored me...and my brother wanted me dead. And I have to meet them all with a smile because I have a Crest.” Sylvain purses his lips.

 

“But you–you’ve never treated me differently. Always being there for me and understand me, and…and–I like you, (Y/N). No. I love you so much that it scared me. A lot,” he says, closing his eyes.

 

“You say that, but it doesn’t excuse the things you’ve done.” You didn’t want to look at him, didn’t want to let him see mixed expression you were making at  his sudden confession but you knew he was looking at you. Intently.

 

“I was devastated when you left Garreg Mach years ago. I lost you once and I won’t let it happen again. So.... what I’m saying is…” he hesitated and briefly appeared at a loss of words which is very unlike of him.

He hugs you closer very tightly it hurts, cradling you gently against his chest. This close, you can feel the rapid pace of his heart and his nervousness. “Can you give me a second chance?” Sylvain’s touch was awkward and clumsy.

“......I will. But first… Please let me go, Syl. You are crushing me.”

Sylvain paused, as if unsure. “Did you mean that?” Vulnerability colored his tone, softened it. “I’d like to be a man who deserves that. Who deserves you. Even if you want nothing to do with me, one day I will find a way to make it up to you, to earn your forgiveness. I promise.” His voice wasn’t strong with his infamous flirtatious bravado. It was sincere.

 

“You’re so much more than just your Crest or your status, Sylvain Jose Gautier.” Taking his much bigger hand in your tiny ones, you smiled and whisper it against his hand. “You are the most amazing, kind, strongest, and nice man for me. Your path is your own.  I love you just the way you are, Sylvain. Crest or no Crest.” His face turned dark red instantly redder than his hair at your words. Sylvain.exe has stopped working

“You are going to be the death of me, Munchkin!!” Sylvain yells frantically. You can see his ears flushed furious red. He can die happy now. Goddess Sothis please take his soul.

“Why you still call me Munchkin, Syl?” you asked much to your curiousity. “It’s been years but you barely grow a few inch! But y-Ouch!! He yelps when you jab at his stomach. “But you have... grown into a fine, smart, and beautiful woman.”

 

“Time hasn’t been so kind to me in these past years, Syl. After my Father’s passing, I have to succeed him. Being a Marchioness isn’t an easy task but I learned so much and am still learning.”

 

“My sincerest condolences for your loss. But... he must be very proud of you, Munchkin. You will be a great Marchioness. Strong, thorough, quick-witted, and lovely as a—”

“Flattery won’t get you anywhere, Mr. Gautier.” You rolled your eyes at him. The redhead laughs softly and embrace you in his arms.

 

“When this war is over, will you come with me to my homeland? It’s time for the first step in the right direction. I don’t want to marry a girl who wants to use me for my Crest or a girl who someone else chose for me. I want to marry someone I really care about. With you by my side, I’m excited to find out what this new way of life is all about. (Y/N), I’m serious. Marry me. I’d do anything for you. I’m done lying, especially to myself. I’m going to spend the rest of our lives together trying to make you happy. I promise.”

 

 “I’d like to.... introduce you to my parents. They’d love to have a new Gauti—Gyaahh!!!” He shrieked when you stomped your feet on him. “I’m so DONE with you, Syl!!” you said with exasperated look, looking away trying to hide the rising heat in your cheeks. ‘A future with Sylvain...’

 

There’s a pause when you catch his gaze and find something vulnerable there, something familiar. The flicker of hope, mirrored in your expression. It’s as if everything falls into place and clicks. Then his lips were on yours, soft and hesitant, so unlike his usual self. Your eyes fluttered shut, your lips moulding against his, as his hand came up to cup your cheek. It was all the confession you needed.

 

“I will, Syl. I promise.”

---

Bonus:

When Professor and the Blue Lions heard about your new relationship with Sylvain, they offer you heartfelt congratulations and throw a little dinner party. Dimitri is OVERJOYED and sobs a little when he saw you are radiating with so much happiness. Back then in your Academy days, he was the one who worry about you the most when Sylvain treated you poorly, after all. Ashe and Dedue throw a lavish dinner to celebrate (Y/N) and Sylvain’s relationship that evening. Mercedes and Annette provide everyone with tasty sweets and dessert. It was a heartwarming small party among Blue Lions members.

Sadly, Sylvain didn’t get to celebrate it together. Rumors had it that Felix and Ingrid has beaten him to a bloody pulp (with Professor’s EXCLUSIVE permission) because he made you their lovely sweet lil sis wept and hurt. Sylvain kept on mumbling something between “Don’t ever hitting another girl”, “RUIN his Lance of Ruin”, “Don’t ever taint her”, or “You’re finished”. Even the kind and benevolent Mercie turned her back and refuse to heal Sylvain. The Gautier heir almost went to hell that evening.

 

The poor, traumatized philanderer will changing his ways for the better for sure.

[crestbound]

in another life, i was free.

In one lifetime, they’re gathered around a fire—him, Dimitri, Felix, and Ingrid. It must be summer in Fraldarius; Sylvain can hear the crash of ocean waves off the towering cliffside far away. They’re not old enough to be here completely unsupervised, but neither are they too young to know how to sneak away. The Fraldarius maids must be turning the castle upside-down.

The fire crackles. Sylvain remembers that look on Felix’s face; it’s the look he gets when he boasts about something Glenn had done, to be inevitably followed by his own plans to follow in his brother’s footsteps. 

(He misses that look. He misses when Felix’s eyes used to shine with a world of things to look forward to.)

“I wish I had a sibling too,” Dimitri admits. “Someone strong, like Glenn... or smart, like Miklan!”

No, Sylvain thinks wryly, you really don’t.

But the one huddled by the fire, handing Ingrid a skewer of meat, doesn’t agree. This one looks happier. This one is braver.

“I can be your brother, Dima,” he says, which is everything wrong and everything he’s ever tried to be. “I can be everyone’s big brother!”

“Oh?” comes a familiar voice, carrying over the sound of footsteps on sand, of waves yet to announce a storm. Sylvain feels his heart jump once and catch in his throat when Miklan walks into view. It’s almost a knee-jerk reaction, to run in between them. 

“Miklan—” he begins, but even his breath tangles in his lungs when Miklan simply walks right through him. (Run. Why are you here? I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I’m sorry—)

“Forget about being a brother,” Miklan says, lacking so much vitriol that Sylvain has to turn, light-headed and nauseous, to stare at him again. “You’re going to be grounded, first. All of you are. The whole castle’s in a panic; Glenn’s about to round up the entire Fraldarius army just to look for you brats.”

“But we wrote a letter!” the young Sylvain protests.

Miklan rolls his eyes. (Wrong shade of brown. His hair’s so much shorter, here. He’s missing the scar on his jaw.) “You wrote ‘off to play.’ That’s not a letter, Syl.”

Syl.

His heartbeats grow louder and louder in his ears, crashing against an incessant ringing, the howling gusts of his breaths. Miklan’s never called him that. Miklan’s never been this nice, either. Miklan is...

(If it weren’t for you...!)

...Miklan is...

Shall we try again?

In another lifetime, the Margrave is ill. They say he caught a sweating sickness from the north, where the Srengi have been tearing down the border walls and pillaging the villages just beyond. He’s expected to die within the moon.

Sylvain is six years old when the margravine tells him.

“Oh,” he says, and looks down at his feet. His mother taps her finger on the table once, too proper to clear her throat. Sylvain straightens up to look at her until she smiles. “When is Miklan coming home?”

“Perhaps in a week or two,” she replies. “But I trust he will be present for the exchange of seals.”

They’re to destroy the margrave’s official wax seal stamp, made of gold and treated blackwood, and create a new one—this time, with Sylvain’s initials instead of his father’s. It’ll be used to seal the letter to the king, announcing the death of the margrave and a schedule for his heir’s arrival at the capital. In Fhirdiad, he’ll kneel before the throne and swear his pledges again.

Sylvain frowns, and resists every urge to shift uneasily in his seat. “...He has to be. Isn’t it going to be his ceremony?” After all, Miklan is the margrave’s firstborn. He’s charismatic, and he’s smart, and he’s terrifyingly brutal with a lance. There isn’t a single soldier in the Gautier cavalry that doesn’t admire him.

But the margravine isn’t part of the cavalry. Though she hasn’t said a word of it herself, everyone in the castle knows that their lady, a paragon of every feminine virtue belonging to the nobility, laments every day for her one failure in life: Miklan Anschutz Gautier, born to her without a Crest. 

Imagine that.

“Oh, Sylvain,” she tuts. Her hands are soft when she reaches out to touch him, brushing the hair out of his face and tucking unruly locks behind his ear. “Don’t be silly; of course it will be you. You’re our son.”

But not Miklan. Not Miklan, whose eyes are a closer shade of hazel to the margravine’s than Sylvain’s are; not Miklan, whose laughter echoes the same way the margrave’s does, heavy and confident. Not Miklan, born with a blessing from each of the Four Saints, from Macuil’s keen eye for strategy to Indech’s indomitable strength. 

But not Miklan, Crestless and worthless, of the right flesh but not the right blood.

The margravine pulls back. She looks satisfied with her work. “Now,” she says, “Let’s enjoy some tea, shall we?” It’s one of her favorites, a cinnamon blend with a touch of honey. In this life, Sylvain likes it, too.

His brother ends up returning home in five days. Just an hour after sunset, Sylvain—older, taller, the one that survived—watches Miklan kill him. 

Neither of them flinches when a sickening crack sounds from the bottom of the well.

In this lifetime, that’s the end.

—we try again?

The next life starts with blood.

He’s angry. Not him, but him—the Sylvain of this life, thrown away and forgotten. There’s a jagged scar that runs from his left temple down to his right cheek, a sick mirror image of Miklan’s worst injury.

And it strikes him, then, that this is the life where it finally happens; this is the life where everything’s turned around. Flames devour a small village just on the border between Gautier and Fraldarius. They don’t have much to plunder, but it isn’t about what can be stolen; it’s about the message that’ll be sent.

Even here, Fraldarius and Gautier enjoy a good relationship. Even here, Sylvain is smart enough to know the best way to hurt his father is through shame.

Your son did this, they’ll tell him. Control him.

And what can he do but try? Even disinherited and stripped of everything he has, Sylvain is still a Gautier. He’s the margrave’s responsibility, especially when he begins causing trouble for the duke.

But of course his father would never come himself. Sylvain can burn a hundred villages, kill a thousand civilians, steal a million bars of gold, and still, still, he’d send his prized son, his Crested son, his only son, to clean up the mess. That’s what he’s good for, after all. That’s what he’s worth. Riches and loves, hearth and home, all because the right blood sings in his veins.

“Miklan,” he rasps, smoke thick in his lungs. “Of course he’d send you.”

“That’s enough now, Sylvain,” Miklan replies, brandishing the Lance of Ruin. It titters and glows in his hands.

Sylvain—the real or the fake, the one that doesn’t belong, the one that should, that wishes, that doesn’t want to be—releases a quiet breath. Then another. A sound, then two, then three.

Then, he laughs.

Miklan kills him here, too.

—try again?

There’s a war in this life.

Behind him, on top of the hill, Dimitri refuses to die. He is a torrent of anger that threatens to tear open the heavens to drag down the Goddess by her neck. Several feet in front of him, Ingrid is already dead. She’s half-crushed by her pegasus, bent and twisted in all sorts of ways. 

Between her and Sylvain—the one fighting, the one losing—is Felix. The Sylvain that doesn’t belong knows with a sinking feeling in his gut that the blood on his cheek is Ingrid’s.

Sylvain lifts the Lance of Ruin. It’s tittering more than he’s ever seen in his life, stained through with blood and ichor.

“Hey, Felix?” His voice sounds tired. “Remember when we were kids and we made a promise about dying together?”

Felix doesn’t flinch. He’s always been like that—stubborn and unyielding, willing to commit himself to his decisions to the bloody, sad end. “I remember.”

Sylvain smiles, and it’s a pathetic thing, cracking at the edges. “Well,” he says, “seems we’re about to kill each other.”

There’s one moment where their heartbeats crash against each other, in sync. The next beat, they’re skewed again. One sounds like wardrums; the other, a funeral dirge. It isn’t hard to guess which is whose.

“Sorry, Sylvain.” There’s a flash of a blade. Sylvain—both—wonders if the blood that’s still on it is Ingrid’s.

“Fe—”

“You’ll die first.”

(I know.)

—again?

That’s enough.

[flamingo-writes]

Don’t Tell Dimitri — Claude x Reader

Summary: It was after one of the monthly missions that Byleth had asked you to assist with the Golden Deer. Your lance skills were remarkable enough to have Claude manipulating Byleth into asking for your help. However, Claude’s reasons to do so were others rather than just your strength and skill.    

A/N: I went for F!Byleth instead of Gender Neutral Byleth, as I originally intended. I’ve been playing far too long with F!Byleth, I sometimes forgt M!Byleth is a thing too XD forgive me. Also, I’ve been loving the Golden Deer route, although I’ve got to admit, I miss my Blue Lions :c Anyways, I hope you enjoy this. 

Also! I headcannon Byleth to be a cheeky little shit. Everytime I have the opportunity to answer with any sarcastic/smartass answer, I go for that one. So, my perception of Byleth is heavily influenced by it. I apologize if you eadcanon Byleth to be more of a composed/serious character.  

Posted: 04.21.2020

Word Count: 1.7K

Warnings: curse words. 

How bad things would go if someone ever found out Claude's teeny tiny crush on Dimitri's younger sister? The princess of Faerghus. Being roughly a year younger than both Claude and Dimitri, skill wise, you weren't in any way behind them.

In fact, from a young age, you showed great skill with a lance, despite your lack of Crest. You waved your lance with such precision as if it were both a third arm and your dominant hand. With such grace and skill you waved any lance, making it hard to believe you lacked a Crest. 

That skill was what first caught Claude's attention. However, your laid back personality and sharp tongue amused him like very few things in life did. However, he could see through the cheerful mask you wore to cope with the horrible past you and Dimitri had been through. 

"Say, Teach" Claude said walking up to Byleth who was attentively watching you train with Felix. "Don't you think we'll need a little help for our mission at the end of the month?" 

"I can't believe you are admitting our lack of skill, Claude. It pains me, really" Byleth snapped sarcastically at once "I'm sorry I can't be the Professor you deserve" She continued, knowing it would either annoy Claude or amuse him. 

"Oi, no one said anything about you as a professor" Claude chuckled corresponding to Byleth's sarcasm "I was just merely stating a possibility…" 

"Why are you here, Claude? I know its not because you want to train. I rarely see you doing anything productive at all on a Sunday" The professor remarked as Claude laughed softly.

"Alright, you got me, I'll cut the bullshit" 

"Language, kid" Byleth chuckled rather amused by hearing kids use curse words. 

"Those two are very tough on the battlefield. That first mock battle we had, I swear to the goddess, for a second I thought we were done for when I fought against her…" Claude recalled as Byleth nodded, remembering how Claude barely could dodge your fierce moves.

"You're suggesting that I should ask for their help for our next mission, is that right?" 

"To be honest, Felix kinda scares me a bit" Claude admitted "He's so short fused, I'm afraid he ends up stabbing me instead if I do something to upset him. [Name] however...she's cool, funny, she laughs at my jokes. She's much more laid back than her brother. And at the same time, she's a killing machine with a lance" 

"Is it just me or do I smell your hormones all over me?" Byleth chuckled, looking at Claude, trying to see his reaction, however, the young man simply shrugged. “You could either genuinly care for this girl, or you just want to get on Dimitri’s nerve, which one is it? Or is it both?” Byleth teased. 

"Say what you want, Teach. Tease me to your heart's contempt. But rest assure, you'll remain my favorite lady in this monastery…" 

"Good, I was worried that you might replace me for her" Byleth replied sarcastically. 

"Me? Never! Who do you think I am?" Claude giggled mischievously.

"The Claudster" Byleth smiled back at her student before looking back at Felix swinging his sword swiftly as you effortlessly stopped each and every one of his attacks "Alright, I'll ask for her help after she's done training" 

♤ 

By the end of the month, on your way to the battlefield, Claude and you didn't stop giggling and whispering things to one another. The two of you looked like elementary kids plotting something. But that same behavior helped camouflage Claude's feelings for you, as people thought you two were just friends. Some believed you were close to you just to piss Dimitri off. Either way worked to mask the secret Claude so desperately wanted to hide.

The mission wasn't particularly hard. But maybe it was because you were there giving a helping hand. A very helpful one. However, things of course wouldn't be as good after the Golden Deer had won the war. 

While saving Claude's back while he was busy shooting an arrow, you'd twisted your ankle throwing your lance at a thief running towards Claude, ready to slash his back with a sword. 

Claude helped you walk, holding one of your arms around his shoulders and one of his arms around your waist.

"I definitely owe you big time" Claude said, grateful that you'd saved his life.

"Oh, normally I wouldn't ask you to return favours, but I will ask for this one back" you joked, laughing, trying to mask the unbearable pain on your ankle.

"You better don't tell Dimitri about this" Claude laughed, knowing your brother would be particularly amused with Claude getting his sister injured.

"I don't know, it'd be a good way to blackmail you" You joked.

Once back at the camp, Marianne took a look at your ankle. Working a little bit of magic, it soon stopped aching and it no longer was swollen. 

"I-I'm so sorry, [Name]. I can't completely cure you ankle. It'll no longer hurt, but you'll still need to rest" The shy girl mumbled too fast and too low, it was hard for you to properly listen to her. 

"It's cool. You already did a lot" You tried reassuring her "The pain was the worst part. Thank you Marianne" You smiled.

"Teach, what now?" Claude asked Byleth as she sat next to you, looking at your ankle "It's almost sunset. We won't be able to be back at the monastery before nightfall" 

"We leave tomorrow morning. It is dangerous to wander at night" Byleth answered standing up and walking to her tent. "Especially considering one of us isn't in the best condition to fight if we run into something"

♤

The moon was almost at its highest point in the night sky. The campsite, dark and silent, as only the echoes of Raphael's loud snoring. And Claude was unable to fall asleep. Not because of Raphael, it wasn't the first time they camped, the snoring had never been a problem. 

His mind was restless with the thought of you being asleep a couple of tents away from his. In an in impulsive thought he could not ignore, he left his tent and walked across the camp stealthily until he reached your tent.

"[Name]" He whispered. She's asleep, you jerk...He told himself after whispering your name a second time. "[Name]" 

The fabric shook gently as you popped your head out of the tent. 

"Why the hell are you still up?" You whispered a scream.

"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" The boy asked.

"Not at all" 

"What?" Claude raised an eyebrow as a smirk spread through his face "Why the hell are you still up?"

"Don't use my lines against me, smartass" You giggled "Wanna come in?" 

Claude tried not to answer right away and instead waited a couple of seconds as if he was considering it.

"Sure" he shrugged.

You sat on your sleeping bag as Claude kneeled inside your tent and sat next to you.

"So? What brings you here?" You said leaning back, resting your weight on one of your arms.

"Couldn't sleep. And I heard noises coming from your tent" he lied, since you hadn't been making any noise whatsoever, but didn't question his words. "Wanna hang out while either of us gets sleepy?" 

"Sounds good to me" You shrugged.

"Thank you for saving me today. Or...yesterday. whatever" He said frowning softly. "Thank you" 

"Don't thank me Claude. I was merely doing my part, thats it" you said as your fingers reached his earring. "I like it, it suits you" 

"Thank you, darling" he smirked leaning into your touch and shrugging softly "You're tickling me" 

"I didn't know you were ticklish" You giggled, smiling mischievously. 

"[Name], no!" Claude chuckled holding your wrist tightly as you tried to sneak it to his neck. "If we wake anyone up we'll be in trouble"

"Since when do you care about getting in trouble?" You snapped as Claude looked at you with a stare you knew it only meant trouble.

"True" He hissed as he moved closer to you.

"No" You said once you noticed his menacingly stare as his hands quickly found their way to your neck and sides "Stop! Claude!" you tried to keep your giggles under control as Claude was the one tickling you now. "We'll get in trouble" You whispered a scream.

"Sorry, don't care" He whispered back at you as his fingers kept roaming, tickling you, trapping you in a torturous laugh.

"Claude!" You cried.

"Alright, fine" He was giggling as he stopped "Whatever Her Highness commands" He chuckled as you caught your breath. 

"Claude?" You whispered, still panting softly. 

"Yes, [Name]?" With a pleased cheeky smirk, he looked at you, his gorgeous green eyes meeting yours.

His heart stopped for a second once he realized what kind of look you were giving him. Your eyes were beginning to look sleepy, and yet, they scanned his face slowly. He noticed the particular way your stare would stop on his eyes and his lips.

Taking the hint, he leaned closer, slowly, giving you time to decide what happened next. At first, you didn't move, and the tip.of your.noses brushed softly, as he kept looking at you. 

In a barely audible  voice, you whispered his voice before closing your eyes. Once Claude saw his cue, he leaned in, closing in the space between the both of you. His lips met yours. 

It started as a shy simple kiss that quickly heated up after you locked your lips with him. At first, the both of you awkwardly trying to adjust to each other's rhythm. But once you managed, the both of you lost yourselves in it. 

With your heart on your throat, you clung to Claude, wrapping your arms around his neck and gripping his hair. At the same time, Claude wrapped one of his arms around your back and squeezed you against his, while he rested his weight on his free hand. 

Finally, you broke the kiss, the both of you breathless, panting lowly. Claude bumped his forehead against yours as the both of you remained motionless. 

"Let's not tell Dimitri about this" You panted as Claude nodded. 

"Agreed" He whispered, looking into your eyes for a brief second before leaning closer to steal another kiss from you.

[omgkalyppso]

I can't just pick one because I'm indecisive af, so how about three for the WIP ask thing: "fairy," "wedding interrupted," and "the wind was bitter cold"? Or you can pick just one of these to elaborate on if that's too much lol

This is going to be a long ass post. Here we go!

fairy

Okay so I have an AU that I’ve promised myself not to start in earnest until either or both my soulmate au or mermaid au’s are finished. I’m calling it a fantasy au, but the doc is titled fairy because it primarily features Claude’s introduction and the make up of fantasy races for the fantasy au are as follows:

Fae - Vampire

Claude - Fairy

Hilda - Werewolf

Lorenz - Hedge Mage

Marianne - Werewolf

Ferdinand - The human child (now a man) exchanged for a fairy / changeling child

Edelgard - Human Hunter

Hubert - Human Hunter

Caspar - Human Hunter

Linhardt - Vampire

Seteth - Vampire

Rhea - Ancient Dragon

Sylvain - Human Hunter

Felix - Human Hunter

Ingrid or Mercedes - Human Hunter

Maya - Werewolf

Raphael - Werewolf

Ignatz - Werewolf

The hunters will be working in groups of three, and I can’t decide whether Sylvain + Felix + Ingrid as three of the Faerghus four is more interesting than Sylvain + Felix + Mercedes in the role of a cleric for the sake of monster hunting. I’m also undecided about whether and how to incorporate Dimitri as some wild thing that-maybe-killed-Glenn, but I feel more strongly about not including him to focus on the core plot in my outline.

Have an excerpt of blocked dialogue. Marianne is running from hunters and to keep her from being tracked, Hilda and Lorenz are destroying her shoes.

Lorenz: We do have a cobbler in town but whether they'll have something for your feet, I just don't - no!

Hilda: (coming back in the house, letting in each a white and black cat) What?

Lorenz: Hilda! Only the black cat is mine. Maggie.

Hilda: What's the big deal? (the white cat walks behind a couch or chair or something and comes out the other side as a white dove) Oh.

Lorenz: Yes. Oh. (white dove turns into a large moth, turns into tiny little fairy fey!Claude)

Claude: Wow, I’ve spent a lot of time trying to get in here. (Lorenz tries to catch him) Hey! Careful.

Lorenz: Sorry?

Claude: It's fine. (Hilda does grab him) Oh. You're fast. (but he just poofs from her hand) Not that it matters.

Hilda: I'm so sorry Lorenz.

Claude: Lorenz! I almost didn't recognize you without the sun on your skin. Why's it so dark in here? (a knock at the door)

Lorenz: (to Claude) Hide. (who does)

Hilda: Seteth, hi.

Seteth: Whatever it is you're doing in here, you're not half as subtle as you think you are. There are hunters going door to door, and if that shock of blue hair is unusual to me, it will surely stand out to them. Hide your friend more securely. They will be here within the hour. I'm off to warn Linhardt.

wedding interrupted

The final chapter of my fic Lorenz and Hilda’s Paired Ending might end up stretched out to three chapters because as it stands I’m bullying them. I intend to interrupt their wedding night three times. The first two times with accidents / incidents relating to Sylvain.

the first time lorenz and hilda are interrupted his shirts are hanging open, hilda's fully dressed, they've basically been making out. cue knock at the door hilda: (distressed) Are you going to answer that? lorenz: I told them not to disturb me except for fire, kidnapping, or a declaration of war. (buttoning up, haphazardly before answering) Yes? chief of staff: There's been a small fire in the stables. lorenz: What? chief of staff: All steeds are fine, and are being round up by [servant] on his wyvern. We're going to move them to the barns on the eastern farmstead. lorenz: Was it arson? chief of staff: It appears to be ... incompetence. lorenz: Was anyone hurt? chief of staff: Not seriously. lorenz: (holding his forehead) Who was hurt, and in what way was it not serious? chief of staff: Margrave Gautier, your grace. Although he was uninjured by the fire, he took a rather nasty tumble from the roof of the tack house. lorenz: That's two stories up. chief of staff: It is. He landed in a rather soft pile of snow however, and is being treated in his rooms. lorenz: (exasperated) What was he doing up there? Was anyone else involved? chief of staff: His ... Beg pardon. Duke Fraldarius was ... present. One can only speculate what led them there, and what stole the Margrave's pants. lorenz: Ah. Well handled. (a pause) He's fine? chief of staff: He's fine. lorenz: Then I will deal with this on the morrow. Thank you for telling me. chief of staff: (as like a goodbye) Your Grace.

A break for you.

another knock at the door, lorenz is undressed, hilda is still fully dressed. things were Busy hilda: Don't answer that! lorenz: (desperate, plaintive) Your family is under my roof, I need to appear responsible. hilda: Bring up my family again and see how far that gets you. lorenz puts on a housecoat, goes to speak with his staff. i didn't bother blocking out this dialogue though it would likely be included lorenz: Hilda, I'm headed off for a few minutes. (starts pulling on pants at the least - not his dress pants) hilda: What? Why? lorenz: Your brother might be holding Sylvain hostage. hilda: What? Goddess, let me- lorenz: Please don't. hilda: But I could easily be fully dressed much faster. lorenz: Exactly. I'm obligated to go, and if people see me in a housecoat and you fully dressed, then they will know far more about our bedroom than I could ever stomach. (calling to her from the door) Don't undress. hilda: (calling back, while lorenz has the door open) I'm letting my hair down! (i ... can't not deal with lorenz who's been obsessed with marriage for at least eight years not wanting hilda to fuck him in her wedding dress) felix: I'm so sorry, your grace. lorenz: It isn't your fault, as far as I know, and, outside of public forums, you may call me Lorenz - we have enough years together. servant: He's still in there, my lord. chief of staff: (correcting) Your grace. lorenz: It's fine. Holst? Are you in there? holst: Lorenz? They fetched you over this? lorenz: Sylvain... Are you alright? Holst, they're calling this a kidnapping. holst: What? sylvain: I'm okay. lorenz: Can someone please open the door? holst: Ah! Right! felix: (relieved, going to sylvain's bedside) Sylvain ... lorenz: (slamming the door, keeping his staff on the opposite side) Are you all out of your minds? You can't even behave for four hours? sylvain: (apologetic, pleading) Lorenz. lorenz: (angry)I swear Sylvain, you have tested my patience three times tonight. (more annoyed and kinda sad than angry) And two of these moments have pulled me from my marital bed. sylvain: Shit. (gets elbowed in the head by felix) Fuck. lorenz: (about to lose his shit) Stop this, nonsense! sylvain: I'm sorry. holst: You have my apologies as well. lorenz: (rolling his eyes) I'll offer my forgiveness in the morning, assuming you refrain from any further tomfoolery. holst: Of course. sylvain: I won't be moving. lorenz: Alright. (a sigh) I am curious to know what happened here, but I fear Hilda will bar the door if I take much longer. felix: Thank you. lorenz: You are welcome. Your grace. felix: Felix. lorenz: Felix.

Another break

((much?) later) lorenz: Now where were we? hilda: Lorenz if someone knocks on this door while you're inside me you better not fucking answer it. lorenz: I ... hilda: If you answer it, you can sleep in the hallway. lorenz: I won't answer it Hilda. I'm all yours. (they fuck, and like, catch their breath and whatever) hilda: Mmmm, well now I'm undressing. lorenz: Good. Because I need to feel your body now. Let me help you. when they're both actually naked. we'll get the third knock on the door hilda: Lorenz, I swear to Seiros. lorenz: I ... I'm not inside you. (goes to get his housecoat) hilda: You cursed us! lorenz: I know, my dear. (opening the door) Please don't tell me someone's declared war. chief of staff: (amused, kind of mocking) No, your grace. lorenz: Then what (internally: the fuck) is so important that it couldn't wait?

The wind was bitter cold

This is a skyrim-adjacent fic featuring my oc Oretia and esaari’s Philip. It’s meant to be a werewolf fight and confession. The title of the wip is just the first line in the document because I was lazy and knew I’d remember what it was:

The wind was bitter cold. Layers in Winterhold were key to survival, and when someone of irregular size, taller, fatter, continuously growing children, were in need of a new one, Oretia found herself as busy as if she’d been hunting to feed the masses. This was to say nothing of the leather straps and parcels that found use in fishing and construction. She found it difficult to believe that the city had been so small and conservative before her arrival so as to ration away the whole winter.

Oretia wondered what resources the Jarl had at their fingertips, if the people did complain beyond her business of an inability to weather the cold and their hardships. For the moment, at least, she found purpose in being out in the woods, despite Philip’s warnings of full moons and things in the forest.

She’d had to hold back her laughter and embarrassment, and had resolved to tell her sister to be more subtle in the southern mountains, as stories like werewolves were infecting the city below.

The moon was full, and high already, though the sun had yet to set — brightening the fallen snow to a rich golden color, as well as the shaggy coat of an unexpected guest.

Oretia stared at the injured beast with reverence and surprise, and she had to wonder if it were they that had unnerved the local populace. A great elk, albino, but for the splash of blood staining its side, trailing down a shattered leg, hobbled north towards the cliffs and the sea. The creature was magnificent, beautiful and strange to look upon, covered in the fog of its own heavy breaths, and whether it had seen her, seemed resolute in its undoubtedly final act.

This was not how Oretia had intended to spend her evening. No matter what other ‘things’ there were in the forest, wolves and mountain lions and all manner of predators would pose a very real danger if they should find her. Yet as the elk lay down by the cliffside, it felt too much like a gift, from which deity or daedra she couldn’t be sure, but there was no walking away from such a calling.

The elk’s massive chest heaved with each pained cry, its haunting song echoing off the cliffside in a melodic death rattle. As Oretia approached, she could hear horkers bay on the shore below, terrified by the commotion, scattering into the sea. A predator may have heard the call already, but she was too close now, caught in the sad gaze of a large doomed eye, and it became a matter of pride and honor. Oretia readied her blade.

[kendrixtermina]

You know there’s something very interesting in how Edelgard alone gets all this flack for not finding out anything.

Because she’s far from being particularly ignorant - She’s solidly number two, and Claude exceeds her only after her death in his route meaning that while she lived she knew more than anyone.

Claude only gets further by interrogating Rhea directly, and because he prioritizes information over anything which has moral ambiguities of its own. Also, he’s the smartest guy in the game. Not being smarter than the designated smart guy is not being dumb, it’s just “not being a mary sue”

I haven’t seen anyone level such accusations at Seteth or Dimitri though they are substantially more ignorant... Dimitri doesn’t find out anything and Seteth has no idea about wtf his sister’s been up to, so he basically defends the church not knowing of its flaws. (Why do you think Rhea says in her supports that she “can’t trust anyone” not even her brother? Cause she hasn’t told him.)

I don’t mean to bash either of them, though - One of the big themes in the game is perspective, everyone’s acting on what they know, no single route ever tells you everything or fully understands the premises the others are acting on.

Edelgard looks antagonistic ‘cause you don’t have the full picture (though I would argue that Azume Moon and especially Verdant Wind eventually let on what her real position was. )  - and she’s not the only one, after all she doesn’t know all this crap with her mother, Claude’s plans, or that Flayn and Seteth are innocent.

Somehow ppl understand that this is part of the plot with the other characters, but not with Edelgard. She seems to be held to a higher standard.

Highlights include

Fair world hypothesis reasoning that, if she didn’t find out everything then clearly she didn’t try... as if trying always implied success she did. She marched in a troupe of sholars and everything

Saying she blindly believed what she got from her ancestors - she DID research further it’s not her fault the records were all purged, and she clearly doesn’t trust or idealize her ancestors seeing as she considers them sellout. Judging by that one quote Rhea has on the tailteen plains, ol’ Wilhelm might not actually have been as bad as Edelgard fears he was.

ppl claiming she believed crap she got for the agarthans for no reason other than it’s convenient though there is no textual evidence for it, she tells you where her info is from, it’s her ancestors and that research she’s having ppl do, She’s ignoring what  Thales said about Nemesis being a thief

Saying that she started the war “on false information” ie because of the Nemesis thing which is NOT why she did it. It’s rather the other way around - in absense of further information she’s willing to give Rhea’s past enemies the benefit of the doubt because she knows what Rhea’s like in her own time

Wether you agree with her or not she considers what she’s doing revolting against a tyranical ruler (Rhea), and flat out says at one point that she doesn’t care what Rheas reasons or backstory is... it’s Rhea’s present tyranny that matters not 1000 years ago. She incorrectly speculates that Nemesis might’ve been good but she’s not per se attached to that idea and given more info she would probably reconsider given that she is shown to take and consider constructive criticism in almost every support chain... about Nemesis, that is, I doubt her opinion on Rhea would change at all, and knowing the crests came from a fucked up origin in the first place would probably not surprise her all that much/only confirm her worldview.

There’s something sad here, because once upon a time Rhea probably actually was heroic or at least neutral and just trying to stop the villain who killed her family, but she’s become so warped that some ppl can’t image that she was every anything other than a tyrant. 

By contrast in Azure Moon a great deal is made of Dimitri getting his father’s old lance and it’s this big meaningful moment when he gets it, he’s got a lot of sweet nerdy excitement concerning the legends about his ancestors and was raised pretty religiously, I’d say he’d be a whole lot more shaken to find out that the ten elites were basically murderous savages.

It probably comes down to the bias of proactive vs. reactive actions as well as hindsight bias.

Thing is... of course you should get a good picture of what’s going on before you act to avoid making things worse. But this is not all or nothing, and in reality you will almost never have 100% completeness or 100% certainty and expecting it will just leave you paralysed.

You’ll never be 100% sure that you have the truth but you still have to act, and you have to deal. Edelgard was at 90%.  

[bae-leth]

Okay with all the talk about Natalia and Artemis pulling an Awakening of sorts and going back in time to their dads’ academy days, I gotta write up a little something about this. I’ll stick with scenario A: the kids ending up in an Azure Moon past and scenario B: them ending up in a Verdant Wind past. I’ll stay away from the kids ending up in a Crimson Flower past because it’ll be kinda complicated and also I think that would be a little too traumatizing for these poor babies (as if me launching them into AM and VW won’t traumatize them lol). *okay hopefully Tumblr didn’t eat this and it actually went through this time*

For how the kids end up in the past let’s just say Natalia and Artemis went on recon mission together and happened to accidentally come across a long abandoned secret Agarthan facility. While exploring it they accidentally end up triggering a magic trap. Artemis attempts to use his own magic to dispel it but it reacts strangely. Next thing they know, the kids are waking up on the ground in a field within eyesight of Garreg Mach Monastery. Yeah it’s contrived but how they got there isn’t the big thing here.

Other general stuff to note! For this adventure let’s have Natalia be 18 years old and Artemis is 15 years old. Their dads still wield the Hero Relics so the kids don’t have them and their mounts (Natalia’s horse Ares and Artemis’ wyvern Altena) didn’t come back with them. Less stuff for the kids to have to explain away but still makes things annoying for them, especially since they still have to deal with their Crests.

Also, to make things just a bit less horrible for them, while Natalia and Artemis are stuck in the past for the five years of the game’s story, five years aren’t passing in their original timeline. It’s more like an adjustment of one year in the past equals like a month in their proper timeline. And while they are in the past, they’re not aging. It’s like they’ve been “removed from the flow of time”, more or less. Still experiencing things as they come but they themselves aren’t aging or changing during this time (another annoying thing to try and explain away while they’re stuck in the past). This is because I didn’t want them to lose out on five whole years of their lives. Also because I didn’t want to put poor Dimitri and Felix through having their kids vanish for five damn years. They just get to go through the horror of wondering where their kids disappeared to for five months instead.

Natalia and Artemis claim to be “a pair of siblings who are simply travelling the continent” and that’s usually enough for most people to leave them alone. Plus it helps that Garreg Mach and the academy often get visitors, so having strangers show up isn’t too weird. But the pair of them still stick out since they have that air of being far more noble than they come across and you darn well better believe they were closely watched for a long time before people realized they meant no harm.

Stuff gets especially difficult when the pair occasionally help out in battles and their Crests activate (let’s say the glowy symbol effect is something that you physically see and not just a game mechanic). That is far more difficult to explain away since while enough time has passed since the age of the Ten Elites that Crests can appear practically anywhere, the Blaiddyd and Fraldarius Crests have never before been seen outside of their respective family lines. However a good enough argument is made that it very much is possible that the pair simply have distant (lol) Blaiddyd and Fraldarius blood in them and so they just so happened to inherit the Crests. Sylvain gets a lot of mileage out of teasing Dimitri and Felix over this whole thing while Natalia and Artemis try not to laugh like awkward dummies.

Natalia and Artemis being so excited to see young versions of their dads and their uncles and aunts from the Blue Lions. And a younger, far less expressive version of Byleth!

“Oh goddess, Artemis, I just realized I’m technically older than Father and Papa, they’re both only 17 right now!” “Papa ages really gracefully, he barely looks different than he does in our time. But seeing Father with short hair and two eyes is so odd.”

“Uncle Ashe and Aunt Annette have such round cheeks!” “I can’t get used to Aunt Mercedes or Aunt Ingrid with such long hair!” “Was Uncle Sylvain always this much of a flirt? I thought the stories were exaggerating.” “Uncle Dedue keeps looking so sternly at us. We didn’t even do anything this time!”

“Professor never smiles or anything. I heard he used to be really expressionless, but I didn’t realize it was to this extent.” “I’m just glad that the ‘Professor’ nickname has stuck in our time, at least we can call one person what we usually call them.”

Ingrid legit thinks Sylvain is dying or something because Natalia is a pretty young lady yet Sylvain has yet to make a move on her.

“Ingrid you don’t get it, every time I try it feels like I’m gonna throw up! It’s like hitting on a family member!” “Oh so this is going too far but when you hit on my poor granny-” “Would you let that go already?!”

Dimitri and Felix are going through a lot because they don’t understand why they feel so attached to Natalia and Artemis. Dimitri tries to reason that when he was younger he always wanted siblings and the pair are rather attached to him and Felix so it’s something like that. Doesn’t account for just how protective and doting he is on them though. Meanwhile there’s always whispers about how easily Felix lets the siblings stick by him and he’s so annoyed because “why the hell are they constantly trying to get me and the boar prince to spend time together????”

Byleth also has a soft spot for them and the kids have the easiest time with him since interactions with Byleth aren’t that different from their interactions in their own time.

You know that one monk who says Dedue probably had something to do with Flayn’s kidnapping? Natalia totally decks him in the face when she hears him say that. When the guy tries to complain, Artemis turns up the charm and has everyone believing him when he says that of course his dear big sister would never do something so terrible, and so Natalia gets off scot free.

When it comes to Edelgard Artemis has mixed feelings because he knows about how she starts the war and all she does but at the same time he remembers the bittersweet expression on his father’s face the few times he spoke of her. Meanwhile Natalia is distant and wants nothing to do with Edelgard, knowing all the pain she caused the people Natalia loves.

It’s interesting for the pair to see Claude, since the Claude they know is a lot more open about his true feelings. Still talks circles around them all and savvy as ever, but more honest with himself and those he considers close. Claude is also the one who is most curious about the siblings’ mysterious origins (well other than Hanneman who wants to know all he can for his Crest research)

Artemis causes quite a stir when he goes around slinging magic from the back of a wyvern he borrowed from the stables, forgetting that magic wielding wyvern riders are not gonna be a thing for another few decades. He’s just lucky he managed to borrow the most chill wyvern in the stables because any other wyvern would’ve thrown him off if he tried that with them.

So hey wanna imagine how fucking scared the kids are when the Holy Tomb incident occurs and they see Dimitri crush two guys’ skulls?

Their father doesn’t like to talk about the full details of the darkest time in his life, when his mental state was at its lowest. But he was also rather honest with the kids, telling them that he had done many things that were horrifying, that can’t be easily forgiven, if at all. Natalia and Artemis thought they understood but seeing their father breaking down before their eyes is completely different from the stories they were told.

Natalia doesn’t know how to talk to Dimitri about this so she lets Artemis handle him. Artemis is good at just being a comforting presence, knowing when to stay back and when to sit close. Knowing when to say something and when to listen. Natalia chooses to stick by Felix, arguing with him about how harsh he’s being towards Dimitri. Her own fierce and stubborn nature means she can hold her own against Felix. When she sees a rare flash of vulnerability on Felix’s face she understands that, more than anyone, he didn’t want things to turn out like this for Dimitri.

In the years that pass Natalia and Artemis argue a lot over how much they should interfere. This is the Blue Lions’ past so they know what’s going to happen but they can’t agree on whether or not to say anything. Do they try to stop Edelgard’s war? Do they try to warn someone? But how and when? They know where Dimitri disappeared to after his “execution” should they tell someone? But what if things change too much? What if they make things worse? What if what they’re doing has some effect on their own time? Is it selfish to not want to risk their future, their loved ones?

Okay that’s as much as I have to say about the AM version, so let’s talk more about the kids being sent to a VW past.

The kids are so confused when they see Byleth teaching the Golden Deer. What does this mean? Is this an alternate past? But then how will they know what’s going to happen? Will things really change that much if Byleth is teaching another house?

Their confusion only doubles when, a few months later, Felix transfers to the Golden Deer. Natalia confronts him about this but Felix states that Byleth is good with a sword and he wants to learn from him, there’s nothing more to it.

“You’re not running from Dimitri, are you?” “…Why’re you so invested? You and that brother of yours are just a pair of strangers who keep making everyone else’s business your own.”

Artemis keeps a close eye on Dimitri throughout the year, wondering if perhaps Byleth being with another house will make a positive change for Dimitri. Of course Artemis doesn’t want to lose the important bond between Byleth and the Blue Lions, between Byleth and him and Natalia. But…if this can provide a benefit to his father…

But no, Dimitri still falls apart, slowly but steadily. The war still comes. But now Natalia and Artemis are faced with he horror of their father going down separate paths. Felix going to the Leicester Alliance after Faerghus falls and Dimitri still missing. So the kids make a painful decision, a scary one they’re only making because they don’t know what else to do.

Natalia follows Felix to Leicester. Artemis sets out to find Dimitri. Natalia tries to convince Felix to search for Dimitri, to return to Faerghus. Dimitri flips between ignoring Artemis and barely tolerating his presence. Natalia is at her wit’s end, not knowing how Dimitri or Artemis are doing in this strange timeline. Artemis is so desperately lonely, even with Dimitri with him, not knowing how Natalia and Felix are doing.

Everything falls apart on Gronder Field. In the chaos of the three-way battle, Natalia and Artemis lose track of their dads. But they find each other, seeing each other again for the first time in years. Their reunion is emotional, a small bright spot in this horrifying war. But then they have to find their dads.

By the time they locate Dimitri and Felix, the pair are in combat and it’s vicious. Natalia, frustrated and scared that she’s gonna watch her beloved dads murder each other, rushes in, using her own lance to break them apart. As she keeps a furious Felix held back, Dimitri uses the distraction to go look for Edelgard while Artemis rushes after him.

“Where are you going?!” “I must kill that woman. She’ll die by my hands alone!” “You’re too hurt! You’ll die! Please stop this!” “You’ve been nothing but a thorn in my side all these years. If you don’t like this, then leave me!”

“Why did you stop us?” “Because you’re both idiots! Absolute idiots! How can you fight each other, try to kill each other?!” “He’s nothing but a beast now. It’s how he is.” “It’s not! It’s not…Neither of you, none of this, is supposed to be like this!”

Artemis loses track of Dimitri for a short time in the crowds but it’s long enough. By the time he finds Dimitri again, the prince is on the ground, impaled by so many spears. Dying.

Artemis screams and sobs and throws himself on Dimitri, begging him not to die. He can’t keep up the façade in this moment, seeing his father dying, even if it’s not the same father he knows.

“Father!!! Don’t die, don’t die, don’t die! Don’t leave me, Father! You can’t do this to me! To us!! Please please please!!!!”

In Dimitri’s last moments, the fog in his mind clears and the voices quiet down just enough that Dimitri realizes what Artemis is screaming. And although he doesn’t have all the information, knows it’s bizarre, in his heart he realizes it’s true, that it explains certain things. Artemis is…And the girl, Natalia…Meaning Felix…is…He must be, there could be no other who Dimitri would ever…

“…I’m…so sorry…”

Natalia hears her brother’s distant scream and runs, Felix following close behind because even though the girl is strange and annoying he couldn’t bear it if she died (but why does he feel that way?). They arrive just in time for Felix’s world to crash around him. Just in time to hear Dimitri’s soft and weak apology, to see Artemis clutching Dimitri’s dead body and sobbing hysterically against his chest. Just in time for Natalia to fall to her knees, tears streaming down her face, as she whispers “Father”.

Welp, I that’s enough there too. So let’s get into the last bit. How the heck poor Dimitri and Felix are doing with their kids missing.

Soldiers return to Fhirdiad with Ares and Altena but without their riders. The soldiers explain to Dimitri and Felix that they found the pair of mounts exhausted but doing their best to race to Fhirdiad. There’s no sign of the crown princess or the prince.

The search for Natalia and Artemis is done covertly at first because the panic that would spread across Fodlan if it was revealed that both of the royal children have disappeared would be too great. But as weeks go on with no sign of the kids, word ends up getting out.

Dimitri is beside himself, wondering if someone from his past hoping for revenge has done something to the children. If they’ve been hurt or worse because of his own actions, he’d never forgive himself for as long as he lives. Felix has to divide himself between preventing Dimitri from spiraling downwards and worrying over what happened to Natalia and Artemis.

All of the Blue Lions are hard at work looking for the kids, Byleth himself getting involved too (and the times when he can’t he sends plenty of Knights of Seiros to go looking in his place). Dimitri asks for help from Claude as time goes by, who offers all the help he can. But there’s no sign of the children. No sign of any battles, of any kidnappings, nothing…

After a couple months pass some of the royal advisors get together to talk about the search. They decide it may be better to speak with Felix first. So they bring Felix to a private area and tell him the truth. About how it’s been two months, with no ransoms, no sightings of the children, nothing to suggest they were taken. And Natalia and Artemis are both strong and capable enough that if they could escape from whatever situation they were in they would have by now. The advisors say it’s probably time to start thinking that perhaps they children may be dead.

Dimitri rushes into the room at the sound of yelling and sees the advisors crowding on the ground around another advisor whose nose was clearly broken and gushing blood. Felix stood above him with his fists clenched, angrier than Dimitri had ever seen him in all their years.

“If you have time to talk to me about your bullshit theories, you have time to get out there and search!”

More months pass and it’s common sentiment among many citizens that Natalia and Artemis are most likely dead, there’s been so sightings of them, no word from them. But everyone knows better than to say anything within earshot of any Blue Lions, the Archbishop, or the royal couple.

But Dimitri is breaking down as more months pass. And Felix, for all his fierce nature and stubbornness, is falling apart too. Dimitri spends so much time in Natalia and Artemis’ rooms when he’s not working himself to near death while Felix only ever stays in the castle long enough to make sure Dimitri is well and the kingdom’s affairs are running well before leaving to follow a new lead.

No one will say it out loud but the worry is spreading. That if Natalia and Artemis aren’t found, or…if their bodies aren’t found, that neither Dimitri nor Felix will last much longer. That after all the work and pain that went into bringing peace back to Fodlan and helping it progress, it was all going to fall apart.

Okay that’s a lot of depressing stuff so let’s end this on a high note.

After five months pass, Natalia and Artemis come home. Or Dimitri and Felix finally find them. The royal pair find the mysterious Agarthan facility just as a strange light comes from within. When they go in, they find Natalia and Artemis standing up, together, alive, looking no different than the day they vanished five months ago.

Dimitri and Felix are both frozen in shock but the second Natalia and Artemis lock eyes with their dads they both let out shouts and sobs and basically tackled their dads to the ground in a massive group hug, sobbing the whole time.

Neither Natalia nor Artemis have ever seen Dimitri or Felix cry, especially as much as they were doing so in that moment. But they could laugh about that later. The family was all together again. That’s all that truly mattered.

“Welcome home.” “We’re back.”

—————–

notes from bae:

I’M SCREAMING INTO THE VOID. THESE ARE SO GOOD AND SO SO HEARTBREAKING I’VE BEEN TORN TO PIECES

immediately upon reading the first bits i could tell that my heart was going to be broken because a) azure moon hurts enough on its OWN, and b) i don’t think i will ever get over dimitri’s ending in vw. and all of felix’s endings without him just spell Misery anyway, so seeing Artemis break down over him?? EXPECTED but also??? Artemis??? my sweet sunshine son oh my GOD i am so UPSET!! that entire scene with dimitri’s last words to his son got me. crying in a pool of tears

and i don’t even want to touch CF without at least ten mins worth of prep time, jfc. knowing what happens to unrecruited Felix & co in Arianrhod, and then what happens over at Tailtean, would absolutely break the two of them :( not to mention the even worse scenario of watching CF!Felix unfold…. gosh. ouch.

The mental image of watching Natalia and Artemis trying to explain away their crests is so funny to me…. just: “Our Crests? Uh - we’re… distant descendants of the Elites! Very… filtered down.” “Not at all related to your bloodlines :) (Natalia you’re giving us away stop snickering-!)

SYLVAIN BEING UNABLE TO FLIRT WITH NATALIA YES i remember reading this in an earlier submission and it still makes me laugh :’) and awww… their reactions to their younger aunts/uncles make my heart warm. especially Dedue LMAOO ‘THIS TIME’ WHAT DO THEY PUT THE POOR MAN THROUGH IN THEIR OG TIMELINE….. you kids….!

DIMA AND FELIX WITH THOSE PROTECTIVE INSTINCTS…! you calling Dimitri 'doting’ is doing a number on my heart. Does he make sure they eat and sleep properly? Put them out of harm’s way in battle? Go to bed and wonder why on earth he feels this urge to keep them safe all the time?? Does Felix do the same, but in his own Felix-y way? Do the others stop in awe as they watch him conversing in a normal fashion with the two? I need detais, this is all good food.

Artemis nearly starting a new trend decades early? Natalia decking that racist piece of garbage. good. GOOD. look at them, they’re already creating positive change in the world, and it’s not even their world! i’m so proud of them

you’re right, the holy tomb scene would be absolutely terrifying for them :( but i’m glad they both manage to track down and stay with DImitri and Felix in their own way. VW on the other hand….. OUCH….. OH NO….. them watching Byleth go off and leave the Lions, knowing that he normally has a soft spot for them and their fathers, so what happened? THat must be heartbreaking :(

and then THAT REUNION ON GRONDER FIELD.  “You’ve been nothing but a thorn in my side all these years. If you don’t like this, then leave me!” - NOOOOO THE DRAMATIC IRONY… DELICIOUS YET PAINFUL…. and then Artemix’ breakdown??? IVE ALREADY SAID THIS BUT YOU RIPPED MY HEART TO SHREDS. DIMITRI REALISING TOO LATE? S H R E D S I TELL YOU

and ofc, in the normal world, you’ve got two parents sick with worry about their missing kids…. Dimitri and Felix really went through it, didn’t they :( They must’ve been in a horrible state. imagining a Dimitri that’s barely hanging on & absolutely blaming himself (even though he’s done nothing wrong!) and a Felix that’s trying to keep it together but fraying at the edges…. i am so so glad they get the happy ending they dESERVE. let this family be happy! let the kids get the scolding of their lives before they all collapse into one big group hug. 

thank you so much for this submission, it made my NIGHT. fraldarddyd family au never fails to make me smile!!

[ailuronymy]

Guest Warriors-ify: Fire Emblem: Three Houses

Hello there! I’ve got a Warriors-ify for you for one of my favorite games. Specifically, I’m going with the war-phase since I find that’s easiest to translate. Let’s go!

(Warning: There are some spoilers! I’ll try to avoid major ones, but still.)

WindClan (the Church of Seiros)

Leader: Lilystar (Rhea) - White she-cat with light grey spots on her head and tail. At the beginning of the war within the clans, she went missing. Her deputy has been acting in her place. She’s calm and devout in her belief in StarClan, and has led WindClan for many moons.

Deputy: Lizardstep (Seteth) - A grey-brown tabby tom with sharp green eyes. He’s been acting as WindClan’s leader since Lilystar’s disappearance, but refuses to take his nine lives because he still believes she’s alive. He’s known for being stern and strict, but much softer than he seems on the inside. He’s constantly fretting over his daughter, Minnowcloud.

Medicine Cats:

Minnowcloud (Flayn) - A light grey tabby she-cat with the same sharp green eyes as her father, Lizardstep. In the turmoil that lead up to the war, there was a conflict between WindClan and ShadowClan which started because one of their warriors attacked her while she was gathering herbs. Even in the times of war, she is bright and cheery, and does her best for her clan.

Fawnface (Manuela) - A light brown she-cat with long, silky fur. She’s a notorious flirt and a bit vain about her beauty, but a good soul deep down. She was Minnowcloud’s mentor and got severely wounded trying to protect her from ShadowClan’s attack.

Warriors:

Beetleclaw (Shamir) - A sleek black she-cat with lots of thin scars. Was a rogue before joining WindClan after owing Lilystar a debt, and stayed after bonding with the other cats - particularly Cedarpelt and Leopardclaw. She’s known as a fierce and stern warrior who runs across the moors with enviable stealth. Was Antfur’s mentor.

Leopardclaw (Catherine) - A large long-furred golden she cat with nicked ears. Lilystar herself once saved Leopardclaw’s life during her apprenticeship, and as a result holds a deep adoration for her, and has led many searches to find her. She’s good friends with Beetleclaw, and the two often patrol and fight together.

Cedarpelt (Alois) - A stocky brown tabby tom with a jovial demeanor. Was mentored by Larchfang, a well-respected senior warrior who ended up supposedly dying in a forest fire moons ago - but really, he’d run off to become a rogue. Despite what many would consider a betrayal, he still holds a lot of respect for Larchfang. He also tells a lot of awful, awful jokes.

Fogwhisker (Hanneman) - A lanky grey tabby tom and a senior warrior of WindClan. He’s inquisitive and intelligent, always trying to learn more about the world. Whenever he’s not satisfying his curiosity, he’s likely bickering with Fawnface, whom he’s never quite gotten along with - though the two do care about each other deep down… probably.

Antfur (Cyril) - A small dark brown tabby tom. He’s one of the youngest WindClan warriors, and was adopted into the clan by Lilystar after he was found abandoned as a kit. He was so grateful for the rescue that he’s devoted himself to being the best warrior he can for Lilystar’s sake. He’s determined and focused, and often takes on extra tasks around camp to lessen the workload of others.

Rowanpelt (Gilbert) - A bulky ginger tom with old battle scars. Alongside Fogwhisker, he’s one of the oldest warriors in the clan. He was actually originally a ThunderClan cat, but after feeling as though he failed Lionstar, the current leader (who was an apprentice at the time) he enforced a self-exile on himself, leaving his daughter behind. Eventually, Lilystar took him in.

ThunderClan (the Blue Lions)

Leader: Lionstar (Dimitri) - A large, ragged-furred golden tom littered with scars and missing an eye. He was once a mild-mannered and kind young tom, but trauma from his youth weighed down on his mind, until the outbreak of the war caused him to snap. He is violent and irritable, and has a cynical view of himself and the world. To make matters worse, he often suffers from vivid nightmares and even some hallucinations.

Deputy: Boulderpelt (Dedue) - A large and muscular dark tabby tom with a white underbelly and scarred pelt. He was born into a band of rogues that lead an assault on ThunderClan, and was originally going to be killed alongside them. However, seeing that he was too young to be a part of the attack, Lionstar (then Lionpaw) shielded him from harm. He is quiet and stern, and cares deeply for Lionstar, even though he’s become a shadow of his former self.

Medicine Cat: Dawnleaf (Mercedes) - A long furred cream tabby she-cat with a calm demeanor. She was originally born in ShadowClan, but after ThunderClan was left without a medicine cat, she volunteered to take over. She was nearly finished with her apprenticeship at the time, and thus was qualified to work on her own. She left behind a brother, whom she still misses dearly…

Warriors:

Greywhisker (Ashe) - A small grey spotted tabby tom. He’s kind and empathetic, and believes strongly in the values of a warrior, such as honor and loyalty. He enjoys telling stories to apprentices, as he memorized them all as a kit. He bonded closely with an elder during his apprenticeship, who became like a surrogate family member after his parents died of greencough, but that elder was killed during a battle with WindClan when he insisted on joining the battle.

Reedstorm (Ingrid) - A lithe, muscular golden tabby she-cat. She’s serious and even strict at times, but overall good-natured - and a big eater. She spent her apprenticeship with Nightclaw and Wasptail, and cares about them both deeply; even if they get on her nerves constantly. Like Greywhisker, she believes strongly in the values of a warrior, and is very disciplined in her duties. She fell in love with Nightclaw’s brother during her apprenticeship, but he was killed during the rogue attack. She still blames Boulderpelt for it, even though she knows it’s not his fault

Nightclaw (Felix) - A skinny black cat with copper eyes. Despite his thin frame, he’s deceptively strong and quick on his feet, and is a terror on the battlefield. Though he’s a capable warrior, he’s foul-natured, rude, and doesn’t get along with many other cats. Wasptail and Reedstorm are the only cats he opens up around, and even then he’s still quite cagey. He was once very close to Lionstar, and often expresses his utter revulsion at what a beast his old friend has become. He has repressed a lot of feelings about the death of his brother during his apprenticeship.

Wasptail (Sylvain) - A fiery ginger tom with long fur. He’s a bit on the lazy side, and annoyingly flirtatious with every she-cat (and even the occasional tom) that crosses his path. Despite acting like he’s incompetent, he’s actually incredibly gifted in both hunting and fighting. His brother was a traitor who went off to join a pack of rogues, who were then all killed in a later battle. He has… a lot of repressed feelings about all of that.

Daisycloud (Annette) - A little ginger she-cat with a stumpy tail. She’s bubbly and energetic, often boosting the spirits of others regardless of the dismal situation. Dawnleaf is her best friend, and she looks up to her a lot. Because of this, she’s actually picked up some basic knowledge of medicine. Her father, Rowanpelt, left ThunderClan moons ago, and she dreams of one day reuniting with him.

ShadowClan (the Black Eagles)

Leader: Eaglestar (Edelgard) - A black she-cat with fur that has been slowly patching over with white (vitiligo). She is headstrong and calculative, and was the first leader to declare war on the other clans. Her motivations for doing so are not entirely clear, but are certainly more complex than a simple grab for territory. She is often blamed for the disappearance of Lilystar, but has confessed to nothing. Despite receiving nine lives from them, she has little devotion to StarClan, and considers them to be cruel and uncaring entities.

Deputy: Raventail (Hubert) - A long-furred smoke tabby tom. He’s a sly, stealthy warrior with an eerie aura about him, and often takes care of Eaglestar’s dirty work in the shadows. He’s incredibly devoted to her, and is a feared warrior on the battlefield. Like Eaglestar, his true intentions are unknown.

Medicine Cat: Snailcloud (Linhardt) - A long-legged dark grey tabby tom. He’s devoted to his work, sure, but he’s also infamously lazy and prefers to sleep. The only thing that gets him to wake up consistently is the opportunity to learn more about the affects of medicine herbs on other cats. His kithood friend, Pebblestorm, is often his test subject.

Warriors:

Rushheart (Ferdinand) - A long-furred golden tom. He’s a bit vain and arrogant - actually, very vain and arrogant - but it doesn’t come from a place of malice. Really, he’s just overly confident as well as a bit socially awkward, and truly means well. He considers himself Eaglestar’s rival, which she doesn’t quite reciprocate.

Pebblestorm (Caspar) - A stocky blue-gray tom. Despite his small size, he’s incredibly strong, and has a fiery determination in battle. This often leads to him being hotheaded and impulsive, though. He’s close friends with Snailcloud, despite their opposing personalities, and often tags along when gathering herbs (even though he thinks it’s boring).

Rain Falling on Stones / “Rain” (Petra) - A dark red she-cat from a distant mountain tribe. She’s polite and respectful, but often lost when it comes to the customs of clan cats. Still, she’s determined to understand this new and bizarre world of cats she’d been thrust into, and she’s going to make the most of it. She’s known throughout the clans for being able to hunt large predator birds, such as hawks and eagles.

Robinface (Dorothea) - A brown tortoiseshell she-cat known for her good looks and (a skill rare among cats) having a beautiful singing voice. She’s a smooth-talker, a bit of a flirt, and can be surprisingly cynical at times. She briefly trained to be a medicine cat, in which she met and began to look up to Fawnface, the WindClan medicine cat. However, when tensions between the clans started to rise, she decided to return to the role of a warrior.

Mousestep (Bernadetta) - A small tortoiseshell tabby she-cat with white paws. She’s a bit of a recluse, and painfully shy, but this has lead to her being one of the stealthiest cats in ShadowClan (a feat in itself, considering that ShadowClan is known for stealth) and being unintentionally a very well-respected warrior. Still, those who know her personally know that she’s really a nervous wreck.

Palefang (Jeritza) - A broad-shouldered cream-colored tom with mask-like white markings on his face. He was separated from his sister, Dawnleaf, after she was called to be ThunderClan’s medicine cat. He became a cold warrior and a menace on the battlefield. Many cats think of him as cruel or dishonorable, as he lead the attack on Minnowcloud and Fawnface.

RiverClan (the Golden Deer)

Leader: Deerstar (Claude) - A light brown tabby tom with a white chest and paws. On the surface, he seems like an amicable airhead. However, those who know him more personally know he’s a cunning warrior and a brilliant strategist. He uses RiverClan’s watery territory to his advantage to stay out of the war as much as possible, not wanting to risk his own cats for the sake of another clan’s conflict. 

Deputy: Rosecloud (Hilda) - A light ginger - almost pink - she-cat. She’s an incredibly strong warrior, despite her dainty appearance, though she’s often lazy and unmotivated. Many cats questioned why Deerstar would appoint her as a deputy, but he has his own reasons. Meanwhile, she takes a lot of joy in having the authority to boss other cats around.

Medicine Cat: Rainfur (Marianne) - A blue-gray she-cat with dark-rimmed eyes. She’s known for her gloomy disposition and almost repentant devotion to StarClan - despite not really doing anything wrong. Cruelty she faced as a kit and young apprentice ingrained in her a belief that she was going to grow up to be a cruel and horrible cat. Still, she’s dedicated to her duties as a medicine cat.

Warriors:

Violetwhisker (Lorenz) - A grey-brown tabby tom. He’s incredibly vain and often questions Deerstar’s authority. He believes the clan should be more involved in the war, as they could stand to have much to gain. He’s uptight and self-absorbed, and seems to believe that simply being around him is a blessing.

Lightfur (Lysithea) - A tiny, long-furred white she-cat with odd pink eyes. She’s always been sickly, and can’t go out often in bright sunlight due to problems with her skin and eyes. Though she can’t properly fight due to her health, she has a brilliant mind and is a capable fisher. Marianne has offered to give her medicine cat training several times, however she has always adamantly refused, not wanting to be seen as ‘weak’.

Foxpelt (Leonie) - A wiry ginger she-cat. She’s incredibly passionate and determined and once idolized a former WindClan senior warrior, Larchfang. She can be a bit blunt at times, maybe even rude, but she’s truly a passionate and driven warrior.

Goldenfur (Raphael) - A giant, muscular golden tabby tom with long fur. He’s a gentle giant, incredibly good-natured, and loves nothing more than food and training. Well, nothing more other than his little sister, who he dotes on constantly. He lost his parents in an accident when he and his sister were young, but he doesn’t let the tragedy get him down.

Hazelwhisker (Ignatz) - A skinny, light brown tabby tom. He’s one of the few cats in all of the clans to take an interest in art, and often sneaks away from camp to arrange pebbles and other objects in pleasing patterns. He’s a bit ashamed of this hobby, however, as he feels it’s not befitting of a warrior.

Cats outside of clans:

Ash (Byleth) - A blue-gray rogue, child of the former WindClan warrior, Larchfang. They joined one of the clans as an adult, but mysteriously vanished after the war started…

Blade / Larchfang (Jeralt) - A large brown tabby tom who left WindClan after he started growing suspicious of Lilystar’s intentions. He fled with his only kit, shortly after the death of his mate, and raised them outside of the clans. Unfortunately, he was eventually found and brought back in. He and his kit are both gone now, however…

Cherry (Anna) - A reddish-brown she cat who wanders the land, always somehow finding strange trinkets that she tries to trade with other cats…

[BONUS] SkyClan (the Ashen Wolves)

Leader: Sootstar (Aelfric) - A dark grey-brown tom well-liked for his gentle, polite demeanor and many acts of charity to cats outside of SkyClan. His clan is the most welcoming to outsiders, likely because many of its current members were once outsiders themselves.

Deputy: Smoketail (Yuri) - A lithe, graceful gray tom with silky fur. Born to a rogue long before joining SkyClan, Smoketail has traveled far and lived in many different places, despite still being rather young. He’s a bit slippery and a bit too cunning for his own good, and has lived through many things he’s reluctant to talk about.

Medicine Cat: Dapplefur (Constance) - A pale tortoiseshell she-cat. She’s a bit cocky and arrogant at times, and talks much bigger than she has to, but she’s really alright in the end. Rambles a lot about 'restoring her family’s legacy’, whatever that means. However, there are times in which she acts like a completely different cat, becoming shy and downtrodden.

Warriors:

Bearfang (Balthus) - A bulky black and white tabby tom. He’s a loudmouth and often overconfident and hotheaded. He often rushes into battle without much regard for the situation, much to the chagrin of Smoketail. He joined SkyClan after getting in trouble with a band of Twolegplace rogues. Once upon a time, he knew a couple of RiverClan cats - Including Rosecloud and her family.

Redwhisker (Hapi) - A long furred red tabby she-cat. Hapi is the type of cat that marches to the beat of her own drum, and is often inside of her own head. However, misfortune seems to follow her everywhere, and she has the worst luck when it comes to encountering threats such as foxes and badgers on patrols. 

And that’s all folks!

[markoftheasphodel]

Unfulfilled Dream: An Introduction to Finn and House Leonster

This is intended to assist fans of Three Houses, and specifically Blue Lions fans, in understanding what the hell FE old-timers are talking about when the names “Quan,” “Finn,” and “Leif” come up with regard to Dimitri and his retainers (and Dimitri/Dedue in particular). You may have encountered these characters in FE Heroes, but there’s a lot more stuff out there and it’s not all in one place, or even readily available in translation. So here goes.

So, as a starting point, Azure Moon route of Three Houses is heavily influenced by Thracia 776 (aka FE5) and the more familiar you are with FE5, the more evident the parallels/echoes are. But going backward from Azure Moon to its inspiration, or to Genealogy of the Holy War (FE4) which served as an inspiration for Three Houses itself, can be really confusing.

We have the two games, FE4 and FE5, both of them for the SNES, neither of them ever given a worldwide release. Both have modern, very good patches so if you want to play them, it’s a much better user experience than it used to be. We have two artbooks, Treasure for FE4 and Illustrated Works for FE5, both of them only partially translated via websites and translation blogs. We have developer notes and interviews. We have the appearances of these characters as Einherjar in Awakening. We have their modern appearances in Fire Emblem Heroes.  We have the modern run of Cipher cards as well as much older TCG cards. And finally, we have various manga and light novels, many of which have been fan-translated of late but also rather... dubious as “game canon.”

So, to grasp Quan, or Finn, or Leif, it’s a bit like being told “read 100 support conversations plus some DLC that never got translated,” right?

Here are the basics that might be of interest to Three Houses fans!

Quan is the prince of Leonster, a small but wealthy kingdom on the Thracian Peninsula, which juts eastward from the continent of Jugdral. He carries the Major Holy Blood (so, kind of like a Major Crest) of Njörun, one of the Twelve Crusaders who liberated Jugdral from an evil cult several generations before. His holy weapon is Gae Bolg, aka The Lance of Love and Sorrow, reputed to be cursed. Quan generally at war with his neighbor to the south, King Travant of Thracia (a poor nation), who also has Major Holy Blood and is a descendant of Dáinn, Njörun’s brother. Each of them wants to unite the Thracian peninsula and rule over the whole thing; despite an Irish naming scheme, Leonster was inspired by Italy and is supposed to be an elegant, fashionable place with a thriving middle class. Quan attended a fancy military academy in the center of the continent (the direct inspiration for Garreg Mach!) and has two close friends from other nations, Eldigan and Sigurd, also heirs to holy bloodlines. The three of them swear an oath to always have each others’ backs and Quan marries Sigurd’s sister Ethlyn, who has minor holy blood (like a minor crest but with no holy weapon access). They have two children, Altena and Leif.

Finn starts off as Quan’s page. I say “starts off” because FE4 and FE5 follow him over the course of twenty years. He’s the child of a noble house in Leonster, and when he was orphaned he was sent to the castle to be raised/educated. He’s not skilled at making friends but he does become Quan’s page and grows to think of Ethlyn as a big sister of sorts. When Quan and Ethlyn go to war across the continent to assist Sigurd, Finn wants to come along and they take him, even though he’s maybe fifteen and barely old enough to fight. Quan mentors Finn (which is something we see in FE4 itself), building his confidence up, telling Finn he’s the most promising knight of his generation, bequeathing Finn a special lance of his own, and ultimately entrusting Finn with guardianship of Quan’s son and heir, Leif. Finn in turn becomes utterly devoted to Quan and to Quan’s ambition of ruling all of Thracia.

A word about devotion. This is not “devotion” in the sense we’ve seen from Frederick or Jakob in recent FE games, where it’s performative and kind of amusing, with complicated tea rituals and recruiting slogans and whatnot. This is straight-up utter acceptance of someone else’s dreams and ambition as one’s own purpose in life. Hold that thought.

Anyway, Quan and Ethlyn are ambushed and killed by Travant shortly after Leif is born; every knight in their party is massacred in the Yied Desert. The rest of the continent is falling under the sway of the Grannvale Empire (Eldigan’s already dead, Sigurd dies shortly after Quan&Ethlyn), and Leonster is able to hold out for a couple of years before it falls to a one/two attack by Travant’s Thracian army and the Grannvale Empire. Finn, who’s been caring for Leif as his guard, escapes from the burning castle with Leif in his arms (Leif’s grandmother Queen Alfiona dies in the blaze; his grandfather King Kalf died shortly before on the battlefield, betrayed by allies).

The Yied Massacre and the Fall of Leonster are the Jugdrali psychological horror-show that parallel the Tragedy of Duscur’s impact on House Blaiddyd. Finn is devastated by the fact that his duty to Leif kept him from Quan&Ethlyn’s side during the massacre because dying with them would’ve been preferable to surviving them. He hasn’t recovered from that when Leonster falls in an inferno that traumatizes him for, as far as we can tell, the rest of his life. As Leif tells it, Finn then shut down emotionally to the point where he neither cries nor laughs. Of course, Leif himself is scarred by the memory of the burning castle, and that and the loss of his parents fuels his own rage and desire for revenge. Leif is also bothered by the fact that he only has minor holy blood from his parents, which is much less impressive than having two minor Crests because he can’t use any holy weapons. On the other hand, two types of minor holy blood don’t kill you.

(I think at this point many of y’all can see how these events are echoed in Azure Moon. The atrocity, the survivor’s guilt, the fallout on both a child prince with a heavy burden and his retainer who’s struggling with his own issues.)

After this, Finn has nothing aside from his duty to Leif, and as he sees it his duty to Leif is ultimately to see Leif placed on the throne of a unified Thracian peninsula as its sole king. He raises Leif and Leif’s companion Nanna/Jeanne (Jugdral is complicated) under a variety of harsh & tragic circumstances for the next thirteen years. Sometimes he has to forego meals to feed the kids. The people who assist him usually end up dead. At least once he gets betrayed by the citizens of the town they’re hiding in. And so on. These are not circumstances that really allow one to recover from trauma, and by the time Leif himself is fifteen years old and the game plot of Thracia 776 begins, Finn still doesn’t give a damn as to whether he lives or dies as long as he can see Leif made King of Thracia. This is where the portrayal of Finn in Fire Emblem Heroes comes from-- by this point he’s about thirty-four and he really hasn’t had a good day in his life since he was about nineteen.

One of the Cipher cards probably says it the best: His fallen master protected him, saw him through to adulthood, and entrusted him with an unfulfilled dream, and now Finn leads the way to a new era in his motherland! That complete, utter, unswerving dedication to Quan and his unfulfilled dream is what brings Finn to mind when discussing Dedue (cutscene after Gronder in Verdant Wind, anyone?) It’s not funny. It’s tragic. It’s kind of disturbing. Thracia 776 offers a lot of commentary on knights and knighthood-- not as savage as the discussions Felix has with his Blue Lions comrades, but pointed nonetheless-- and with Finn as the Jugdrali exemplar of A Knight, that criticism rebounds, directly or indirectly, on him. Knighthood is kind of effed up and so is Finn. 

Finn does get the opportunity to get his revenge on Travant in FE4, as both he and Leif have boss-battle conversations with Travant making it 100% clear they’re after revenge (Leif even speaks of killing Travant with his bare hands!). Travant’s death helps clear the way for Leif to take the throne of Thracia after the war... and with the dream at last fulfilled, Finn disappears, apparently into the Yied Desert where Quan and Ethlyn died. (He does come back three years later.) He’s got nothing else in his life. He’s seemingly not equipped to take over the usual veteran-knight role as some kind of advisor or general... or, after all that, he just WANTS to disappear for a while.

(You say, this is pretty TL;DR for “the basics”; I say, “I left a lot of stuff out, especially wrt shipping” because Jugdrali shipping is complicated.)

Anyway, so that’s the outline of the plot stuff. Note again, this takes more than twenty years to play out-- more than double the time elapsed between the Tragedy of Duscur and Dimitri’s final victory in Azure Moon. Jugdral is a long, long, hard slog for the characters that survive it.

Now, here’s where we get to the interpretive part. Finn’s devotion to Quan (and thence to Leif) and his trauma and self-abnegation are not up for debate. Hell, FE Heroes provides a pretty fair encapsulation of it. What Heroes also conveys is the sheer depth of his grief for Quan after fifteen, seventeen, twenty years... a grief that leads a number of fans, including me, to see a romantic subtext there. Maybe Quan, as a happily married man with two kids, wasn’t ever thinking of his page-turned-protege like that, but in between some interesting bits of dialogue in FE5 about Finn being “cold to women” and his current portrayal in Heroes, it does create the impression that at the very least Finn’s feelings for Quan went outside the ordinary bounds of the lord/retainer relationship. As Jugdral by its nature doesn’t lead to the sorts of paired endings we see in Three Houses, that’s really something fans have to experience for themselves. 

If that interests you, hopefully this essay has provided some pointers on where to find material. Have fun!

[nicolewrites]

i apologize for my divinity (it’s never enough) - i

maybe I shouldn’t have started another massive passion project right in the beginning of a new semester, but i finished the blue lion route and didn’t know how else to cope besides angst. here’s part i, there will likely be more and i hope you’re ready for angst.

Rating: T Genre: Angst, Friendship, Family Characters: Byleth/My Unit, Dimitri B., the Blue Lions Words: 5,481

AO3 | FFN

i - white clouds

- ~ -

/ great tree moon /

The first time, Byleth is curious about the underlying darkness she sees in Dimitri, Crown Prince of the Kingdom.

When Rhea asks her, she chooses the Blue Lions with very little hesitation. Edelgard is visibly disappointed in the news and Byleth can see it in her sharp eyes. Claude, on the other hand, is much harder to read as he shrugs, smirks, and promises to make her regret the decision. Dimitri smiles in that polite, reserved way of his and a lifetime of being with Jeralt and the mercenaries allows her to observe that the smile doesn't reach his eyes.

The Blue Lions are a wonderfully chaotic group, but they believe in honour. Sylvain's respect is the easiest to win, she thinks, but the red-headed noble has a sly smirk and a playful twinkle in his eyes that makes her doubt, if only for a moment. Ingrid's is won over a rich, meaty stew for lunch that Byleth compliments, but still slips her student the larger portion.

She's not sure Felix has ever respected anyone, but she disarms him when they spar and there's a begrudging look in his eye when he accepts defeat. Annette and Mercedes are happy and light and Byleth goes to choir with them once and Annette is all smiles and Mercedes is all gentle praise. Ashe is tougher, but she slips him a sweet treat after a trip to market along with some bowstring wax and he beams for several hours afterward.

Dedue is the hardest of the Blue Lions because he cares so little for his own safety and so much for Dimitri's. She manages to spend just enough time in the garden with him to draw out a rare smile and a small discussion of Duscur and how much he misses home. He cautions her about Dimitri and the fact that His Highness is possible the most important figure at the academy in the current time.

Byleth knows he's correct. The whirling political landscape of Fódlan does not leave space for Dimitri or Edelgard or Claude to fumble. The three of them will have to be perfect and incredible to keep peace on the continent. Still, Dimitri is kind and when she finds herself alone with him in the Blue Lions classroom, she feels at peace. Their strategic plans are often very similar even if Dimitri prefers to rely on Sylvain, Ingrid, Felix and their penchant for brute force and Byleth likes to call on Annette and Mercedes and Ashe to rain fire and arrows from further away.

- ~ -

/ harpstring moon /

Felix calls him the Boar Prince, referring to savagery in the wake of the tragedy of Duscur. If Byleth wasn't Byleth–and Sothis wasn't bringing it up constantly in her head–she might not have seen the prince's lingering darkness, but she does. Most people don't seem to see it and Byleth knows that if Ingrid, Sylvain, or Dedue see it, they don't mention it. But, Dimitri's facade isn't perfect.

When they spar and her sword cuts into his lance, Dimitri growls in frustration and strikes out at her with more strength than she's expecting. Sothis screams for her to move and Byleth barely rolls out of the way of the blow before counterattacking. She disarms him neatly in three moves after that. Jeralt has taught her that anger is weakness and frustration is diluted anger and it is Dimitri's weakness.

His lance hits the ground and Dimitri sighs. The frustration seeps out of him and Byleth's grip of her sword loosens. Just because she can glimpse the darkness Felix goads, doesn't mean it's always there.

- ~ -

/ garland moon /

They take out Lonato's rebellion with little trouble. Dedue spends a little extra time under Mercedes's watchful eye, but for the most part, they all come out alright. At least, this is what Byleth assumes on the march back to the monastery.

Byleth trains late one night and doesn't leave the Training Hall till early morning. The monastery is dark and quiet, but as she makes her way back to her quarters, she catches sight of a bobbing light nearby. She considers leaving it, but with the rumours of a plot against Rhea still swirling, she adjusts her grip on her steel sword and follows it.

She sees the Officer's Academy uniform when she follows the student onto the bridge between the main monastery and the Cathedral. Her tension sifts away, but now she's curious so she keeps following. She follows the candle all the way into the main building of the cathedral where finally she catches up to Ashe.

He sits on the floor in front of the goddess's statue, the candle on the floor in front of him, and stares up at the statue. Ashe's childlike face is pained and sad. Byleth feels a tug in her chest as she steps towards him that she's not familiar with.

"Sympathy," Sothis whispers inside her mind. "Sympathy and grief."

Ashe had just lost his father. Adopted father, but still his father. Byleth recalls Ashe's timid confession to his past life as a thief and how Lonato saved him and his siblings. Byleth's walk towards him falters. She didn't know how to relate to him. Her father was alive, well, and a strong member of the Knights of Seiros.

Her foot must skid on the marble floor just enough to draw Ashe's attention and he turns toward her, looking skittish. Byleth exhales slowly and walks forward until she's standing next to Ashe. She lowers herself to the ground and bows her head, giving her student the privacy to mourn he'd needed while also supplying the company that he desperately needed.

Ashe says nothing, but the next day there is a beautifully crafted cupcake on her desk when she arrives in class.

- ~ -

/ blue sea moon /

The Sword of the Creator hums in her hand and some part of Byleth screams for her to drop it. She adjusts her grip on it and cracks it across the Western Church members and the blade sings as it cuts down her foes.

Later, back in the Blue Lion classroom, her students are abuzz with energy as they describe how she was glowing with the light of the sword and the light of her crest as she fought, like some force of nature. Sylvain looks uncomfortable through the discussion of the crest and Ashe is still uncomfortable with the Western Church.

Byleth herself still wants to drop the Sword of the Creator and run as far as she can away.

Jeralt shows up at her door that night, a scowl etched into his features. He glances at the sword–lying flat across her desk–and looks at her. Byleth knows she's hard to read, even for Jeralt, but he's her father so she gets the sense he knows at least a little of what she's feeling.

Byleth knows her father to be a mostly stoic man who's not big on affection, but his arms curl around her for a long moment as he just holds her. He expects no conversation, just her presence, and her arms slowly come up to hold him as well.

- ~ -

/ verdant rain moon /

Byleth is organizing her notes for the next week's lectures when Felix and Ingrid find her. The Kingdom nobles both look deeply troubled and Byleth instantly closes her book to focus her full attention on her students.

"Professor," Ingrid begins carefully. She glances at Felix, but he doesn't say anything. Ingrid sighs and straightens her shoulders. "We wanted to tell you that Sylvain probably won't be in class tomorrow."

"Or the rest of the week," Felix finally adds.

Byleth doesn't need a reason from her students. She had seen the pain on Sylvain's face when his brother had transformed. The hurt that had roiled in him as Miklan had spat and cursed his brother and all that he stood for. The Lance of Ruin had destroyed Miklan's humanity and turned him into a cursed beast and Sylvain had watched him lose his mind before taking the Lance to wield for his own.

Byleth can still visualize the agony in Sylvain's expression as he had struck down Miklan, landing the final blow to protect Ingrid who had been about to be torn apart. Byleth had been seconds away from tugging at Sothis's power, the Divine Pulse, to save Ingrid when Sylvain had leapt from his horse to strike down his brother.

The Gautier heir had dropped his lance as if it had burned him as he watched the darkness seep away from Miklan, leaving the dead body of his elder brother behind. Byleth didn't blame him. She still felt like she wanted to drop the Sword of the Creator every time it burned warmly in her grip.

"I understand," she says quietly to Ingrid and Felix.

She sees loss in them too. Not Miklan's loss, but she knows it is there. Glenn's death lingers like a shadow over the pair and over Dimitri as well. Dimitri shoulders the burden of the Tragedy of Duscur and lets it haunt him, but Byleth acknowledges that the others of the Kingdom bear its scars as well.

- ~ -

/ horsebow moon /

Seteth was inconsolable when Flayn was missing. Rhea was the picture of indifference in the matter, her face set into practiced neutrality that had Sothis mouthing off inside of Byleth's head. Byleth can barely process Sothis's rants and Rhea's debrief because her ears are still ringing from the encounter with the Death Knight.

The wound he left on her side still aches, but she had shaken off Mercedes and Marianne's offers to have a look at it because she needed to speak with Rhea and Seteth. The fact that it is still pulsing with pain is confusing, but she chalks it up to the adrenaline. Finally, gloriously, Rhea dismisses her to get some rest, holding Seteth back so that the two may speak.

Byleth walks out of the audience hall without stumbling, but the pain in her side flares sharply as she starts to descend back to the first floor. She trips on the stairs and barely catches herself. Her vision swirls and her feet feel like lead. It feels like someone is pouring acid along her side and she bites her tongue to keep from crying out.

Somehow, she makes it down to the first floor without falling again, but the pain is staggering now. Byleth gasps for air and feels her chest contract uselessly as she tries to draw in air. Her hand skids along the stonework of the wall as she tries to keep herself upright.

"You need help," Sothis hisses inside her head. "You cannot die here."

Byleth hears voices nearby, probably just inside the entrance hall, and she blindly stumbles in that direction. Blood pounds in her ears and her legs finally give out. She clatters to the floor noisily and her palms barely catch herself so she doesn't crack her head on the ground. There's a loud clang as the Sword of the Creator at her hip collides with the stone.

She breathes slowly and deeply, trying to stay in the moment as Jeralt has taught her. It is easiest to help an injured man if he is awake enough to tell you how he was injured. There's a horrible moment of nothing where Byleth thinks no one will see her, but then there's a shout from a monk and a stampede of footsteps.

Someone rolls her onto her back slowly and Byleth is staring up into Dimitri's horrified expression. His blue eyes are wide, his hair hangs tauntingly in front of his face, and his brows furrow as he tries to see what is wrong with her. There's a panic in his expression that causes something deep inside Byleth to ache. It's a familiarity with losing people and she wants to take it away from him and tell him she'll be fine.

There's another pulse of pain from the wound in her side and she gasps, feeling her sore muscles protest as her back arches.

"Professor, what's," Dimitri trails off, lost as his hands hover awkwardly around her.

"Dimitri, move." Another voice cuts in firmly and without room for argument. Byleth's head lolls slightly to the side and she sees Claude kneeling next to Dimitri.

The Alliance heir reaches for her, going straight to the wound on her side. He holds a hand out above him for a second. Byleth follows the line of his arm with her eyes weakly and sees Edelgard standing just behind both boys. She fumbles for a moment before placing a dagger in Claude's hand. Dimitri tenses upon seeing it, but Claude ignores him and cuts away Byleth's coat and shirt to expose the wound.

Dimitri and Edelgard both recoil at the sight of the wound, but Claude steels himself. His fingers graze along the visible blackened veins in Byleth's side. Veins that shouldn't be black but are crackling with poison and venom. Claude's fingers tremble as he reaches for a pouch at his waist. He pulls out a small vial of clear liquid and uncorks it. He presses the glass to Byleth's lips and she forces herself to crack them open.

"This is a general neutralizer," Claude murmured. "You need to drink this, Teach, because I don't know what's killing you. Your Royal Highnesses, I would highly recommend one of you go find me Mercedes, Lindhardt, Marianne, or Manuela as quickly as possible. This stops the poison from spreading, but I need their White Magic to heal it."

Dimitri doesn't move at first, his eyes locked on Byleth's, but when Edelgard doesn't shift, Dimitri squeezes Byleth's hand tightly before rising and stumbling off. Claude's eyes stay fixed on the poisoned wound on her side, but Byleth is surprised that when she tilts her head back slightly to get a glimpse of Edelgard, there is a cold fear and uncertainty in the Imperial Princess's expression. Edelgard, who is normally the picture of calm and indifference, looks paralyzed with fear.

Byleth inhales and exhales. Her breathing doesn't hurt anymore. That is probably a good sign. The tension in Claude's shoulders has loosened and Byleth knows that whatever Claude had given her had effectively saved her life.

Jeralt finds her before Dimitri returns and he kneels quickly and pulls Byleth up so that she's resting against her father. His body is warm behind her as he questions Claude and Edelgard what happened. Byleth's eyes close slowly in her weariness and the conversation fades to a mumble.

There are more footsteps in the background and a tingle of warmth against her side and Byleth exhales slowly. Marianne seems to have been the one Dimitri located because Byleth can barely pick out her gentle stutter before she lets her tiredness swallow her.

- ~ -

/ wyvern moon /

Manuela and Hanneman didn't participate in the battle and it had taken every persuasive bone in her body to get anyone to allow her to fight. Dimitri had been against it, citing the mostly-healed poisoned wound from the Death Knight. Edelgard had protested it, but Byleth suspected that was more related to the fact that neither the Deer or the Eagles would have their professors accompanying them into battle.

Claude, on the other hand, had advocated for it. He had promised that any remaining poison was effectively neutralized and he pointed out that the battle was under a strict "no-killing" policy anyways. Finally, Seteth and the others had consented and Byleth was allowed back into her classroom to plan for the fight. Despite the listening ears of Claude and Edelgard, Byleth and Dimitri had managed to come up with enough of a plan to secure a victory.

White Magic monks from the monastery were healing any remaining wounds from the battle that the Blue Lions had handily won. Byleth feels a tingle of pride in her chest as she examines Gronder Field from the wooden platform in the middle. The ballista up top had caused her Lions some issues at the start since Bernadetta was more than proficient with a bow and Ingrid, her usual scout, couldn't get near the contraption due to her weakness to bows as a Pegasus Knight.

Felix and Annette had been the ones who had driven Bernadetta back, leaving a path for Ashe to claim the centre to wreak the same havoc. Sylvain and Dedue had pounded through Edelgard's defences, going straight at her magic users, while Ingrid flew above and ahead of them, clearing a path. Byleth, with Mercedes and Dimitri, had focused on taking down the Deer. As good of a strategist as Claude was, once the Lions took the hill it was over for the deer. The ballista had a better range than their archers and a practiced Thunder attack from Byleth had brought Claude to the ground where he was hopelessly outmatched by Dimitri.

Her side aches mildly, but she's too high on victory to let it bother her too much. Still, she must be favouring it a bit because as soon as he's done receiving some medical care for the arrow wound from Claude, Dimitri makes his way to her side.

"We fought well, Professor, wouldn't you agree?" he asks as he ascends to stand next to her.

Byleth nods. The hostilities from the battle have faded with the wounds and her Lions chat alongside Eagles and Deer with no hesitation. All of her students fought brilliantly, but she was beyond proud of her lions. Annette is chattering excitedly with Dorothea and Felix is hovering nearby. So close, in fact, that when she flings her hands out to describe something, she smacks him in the face. Dimitri chuckles as he follows her gaze.

Sylvain isn't far from the base of the hill, brushing his horse's coat. Leonie and Marianne are close enough that he could be flirting with them, but instead, he's focused on his horse and the conversation he's sharing with Ingrid as the Pegasus Knight grooms her own mount nearby.

Mercedes is healing the last of Dedue's burns, sustained from a defensive Hubert. Linhardt stands with them, conversing quietly and politely. Ashe and Bernadetta seem to be comparing notes on the ballista and Ignatz joins them after a moment. The trio of archers chat easily and Byleth knows there is no ill-will between any of them.

"Your cubs are growing," Sothis's voice croons quietly. Byleth smiles to herself.

Dimitri tips his head to look at her and Byleth takes a moment to study the Prince of Faerghus. He is taller than her and strong, but he looks weary. The ghost of pain that underlies him is agonizingly present. Not for the first time, Byleth wants to pull him close and banish his pain and his past to somewhere it will not bother him.

She can't, of course, and Dimitri never needs to know what happens in her mind in these times.

"Professor?" he asks. "Is everything alright?"

She nods. She wants to tell him that he led them to battle admirably. "We fought well," she says instead.

Dimitri smiles and the weight in her chest eases.

- ~ -

/ red wolf moon /

As the village of Remire burns around her, Byleth frowns and turns about, assessing.

"Who would have imagined that Tomas wasn't really Tomas?" Sothis's voice says. The tiny spirit inside of Byleth sounds perplexed and frustrated just like she did when she couldn't remember why she desired to go to the Red Canyon.

Byleth certainly hadn't guessed and it bothers her. The fact that Tomas–Solon, she corrects–had been at the monastery the whole time. It doesn't sit well, especially since it is likely that Jeritza was the Death Knight as well. She wonders what other horrors the monastery holds and how long it would be until they reared their heads.

"Professor?"

Byleth turns and sees Annette and Dedue standing behind her. Annette is the one who called out to her. Dedue's polished armour is scorched in places and Annette has a cut along her cheekbone from a swordsman who got too close for her magic to counter. They both look tired and deeply uncomfortable in the ruins of Remire.

"We're getting ready to march back to the monastery," Annette explains and glances at Dedue, nervous.

The prince's vassal straightens and Byleth recognizes the discomfort in his expression. "Could you speak to His Highness, Professor? He," Dedue pauses and turns, looking across the ruined village to a silhouette standing still at the southeast entrance to the village. The statement lingers, unfinished.

Byleth nods and dismisses her students back to the rest of the group. She picks her way through rubble toward Dimitri. When she makes it to his side, he tenses a little and keeps his gaze fixed on the line of the trees nearby.

"We met here," he says lowly. "Why did it have to be these people?" he questions. "Innocent people who did not deserve to die." He shakes his head heavily.

"We'll find him," Byleth promises in lieu of an explanation.

She knows Dimitri well enough by now to know that he is fluent in the language of revenge and retribution. The Tragedy of Duscur hangs over him so precariously and entirely that she is shocked he is not consumed by it. Felix's biting comments about Dimitri's savagery cut her and she can only hope to guide him to a better place.

She touches his arm and turns away to head back to the others. It takes a moment, but she hears his heavy footsteps following her.

- ~ -

/ ethereal moon /

"Save him!” Sothis cries out in her mind.

Byleth lets Sothis's power well up and she forces time to reverse. Jeralt rises from the ground, Monica backs up, and her Blue Lions get three steps further away. For the first time, Byleth can remember a clenching pain in her chest–her heart–and a coldness that grips her entire body.

Her body hums as she reaches for the Sword of the Creator and cracks it toward Monica. SAVEJERALTSAVEJERALTSAVEJERALT–her heart screams. Her blade whistles forward and– it crashes against a magic shield.

The mysterious figure takes Monica and disappears and Byleth is left in the field with the falling body of her father. Her body is screaming and the sword burns in her hand. She discards it and rushes to her father's side, rolling him onto his back in his lap. It feels like when he held her after she had been poisoned.

Her chest is dead tight as he speaks to her, tells her that he loves her and that this is the first time he has ever seen her cry. Her eyes are burning and her cheeks are wet and it's raining. The pull in her chest intensifies to a piercing, consistent stab and Byleth curls over her father's cooling body and screams.

The Lions come running, their faces slack with horror and disbelief as Byleth screams at the sky. She curses everything for taking her father from her and for letting her feel now of all times. She rocks Jeralt's body slowly, shaking and trembling as she tries to hold him as close as she can.

Sothis, please let me save him, she begs in her mind.

"Byleth," Sothis's voice is pained and tight. "We tried. We turned back time and he still fell. Perhaps this is fate."

I cannot accept that, she thinks desperately. I'll bring him back without you then.

Byleth summons every shred of divine power she carries and tries to force time to go backwards, but all she manages is a stall in time where her students appear to be running towards her in slow motion. Pain explodes in her temples and her students return to normal speed.

"I'm sorry," Sothis's gentle voice says. "I know what he meant to you, you know."

The pain in her temples increases as she cries out, fisting her fingers in the thick leather of her father's armour. Her vision whites out for a moment and it takes a long second before it comes back to her.

When she opens her eyes again, there are warm arms around her and a deeply-breathing chest pressed against hers. She gets an eye-full of bloodied and torn blue cloak as Dimitri curls himself around her and she clings to him. This embrace is so different than the innocent hug they had shared just a day ago in the goddess tower, but it cuts her to the core.

She lets her nails claw at Dimitri's cloak as she holds him. She can feel that Jeralt is still half-draped over her lap. Dimitri has thrown himself into the mud beside her to hold her. After a moment, a slender set of arms winds half around Dimitri and half around Byleth as Mercedes adds herself to the hug.

Annette follows quickly, pulling Ashe by the hand as the two smallest members of the Blue Lions add themselves to what is turning into a mass of bodies. Sylvain kneels behind Byleth and rests his forehead against her shoulder. Ingrid presses her cheek against Dimitri's arm where it brushes Byleth. Felix kneels in the mud on Byleth's other side and just presses a warm hand to her thigh. Byleth doesn't feel Dedue touch her, but she sees him take Dimitri's other side and rest a large palm against the Prince's upper back, just under where Byleth's fingers have dug into the blue cloak.

For a long, terrible minute the Blue Lions sit in a field, covered in mud and blood and getting soaked by the rain. No words are said because there are none to be uttered as Jeralt's blood seeps out into the mud below them.

"I'm sorry," Sothis says again. "I'm sorry that we were not enough."

- ~ -

/ guardian moon /

Sothis's scolding rolls over Byleth mindlessly as Byleth spins and observes the echoing, absolute, crushing darkness around the pair. The Sword of the Creator is still in her hand, but it will do her no good here.

After all, only a god can escape this place.

The demi-plane is what is finally takes for both Sothis and Byleth to conclude that whatever Rhea did, allowed Sothis, the goddess, to be reborn inside of Byleth. This created an un-feeling, un-crying child.

Byleth remembers her father's men calling her the Ashen Demon–unfeeling, unyielding, and merciless. They often asked what kind of mortal could feel no emotion. Byleth thinks on this as Sothis affirms that she is more than mortal. Some part of her has known this, Byleth realizes. When she pitied Ashe and empathized with Sylvain and defended Ingrid and desired to protect Dimitri so strongly.

And when she cried for Jeralt's loss.

Sothis's apology hands unanswered in the darkness, but that is expected. When the young goddess touches her, it burns. The burn is familiar to that of the Sword of the Creator, but it feels purer and cleansing. The tingling sensation that accompanies her Divine Pulses overtakes her and Byleth screams out.

Gold consumes the darkness around her and when she opens her eyes, the Sword of the Creator is singing in her grip and glowing and blazing. She swings down and reality bends to her new strength.

She emerges back onto the battlefield to the complete shock of the Blue Lions, glowing with power and energy. Later, Ashe will tell her that she looked like an avenging angel emerging from darkness to smite the evil in the world.

Byleth is unstoppable in that battle. The merging with Sothis has let the blood in her veins sing out with power as she cuts down enemy after enemy. Her Lions fight valiantly at her side, but Solon is hers to defeat.

The Sublime Creator Sword–the sword in its truest form–hums in her palm as she whips it out, lashing over and over against the mage who killed Kronya, the one responsible for her father's death. The scream she lets out as she strikes sends fear into the heart of the remaining soldiers enough that all battle freezes to watch her strike Solon down.

After, she stands, trembling with power and emotion as Dimitri rushes to her side. He asks what happens and she tells him, plainly, and though he seems unsure, her conviction sells him on the point. He points out that she has changed and she uses the mostly unused silver sword at her hip to check her reflection and sees the truth in his words. She looks almost like Rhea now except for the divine light that seems to be glowing in her veins.

The light fades as she talks to Dimitri and it seems to take her strength with it. Finally, her mortal exhaustion pulls her into darkness and she buckles to the ground, Dimitri's startled cry the last thing she hears.

- ~ -

/ pegasus moon /

Dimitri breaks Edelgard's mask underfoot and charges at her with a reckless abandon she has not seen in him before. Felix's taunts and warnings stab at her memories sharply as she watches him cut down Edelgard's soldiers without mercy.

Edelgard's expression, cool and stern, hurts too. This is not the girl that Byleth met nearly a year ago at Remire village. This is a woman growing into her hatred of an institution and anyone who stands in the way of her ambition. This is not the student who's axe grip Byleth spent hours correcting so that Edelgard could throw and hit the target dead centre without hardly a glance in its direction.

Hubert is at Edelgard's side and then the two are gone in twin bursts of red light. Dimitri is breathing heavily and Byleth's chest is aching. The Holy Tomb doesn't feel big enough for the monsters they have just unleashed and with a horribly practiced ease, Dimitri schools his features back to the polished, personable prince they know.

The other Blue Lions cast him wary glances, but they follow the summons of Rhea with little argument. Felix gives Byleth a significant look and she breaks eye contact quickly. Dimitri is not lost yet and she refuses to relinquish the hope that she can protect him.

Dimitri is quiet in most of the following proceedings, contributing here and there, but the conviction in his words when he addresses the Lions later scared Byleth. He says it with such surgical precision that it cuts across the hope that had been rallying in the Blue Lions, shocking the Empire citizens into silence.

Byleth doesn't want to listen to their speculation after Dimitri takes his leave, so she hurries out soon after. Ingrid's defensive words clash with Felix's biting ones and Byleth wishes she had heard none of it.

She gets most of the way back to her quarters when the Golden Deer find her. Claude and Hilda are leading the charge and the group of nobles and commoners–her students–stare at her, expecting answers. Apparently, Hanneman, Manuela, Seteth, and Rhea had provided them with such little information all they knew was that the Church was preparing to go to war with the Empire.

Claude's green eyes are sharp as he tracks them across her face, trying to read her. After Ignatz finishes describing what the Deer know, Claude speaks up.

"Did he break?" he asks quietly.

He says it with such a certainty that Byleth knows he doesn't need the conformation in words. He reads her expression well enough and he casts his eyes to the sky, scowling suddenly.

"Goddess damn you, Edelgard," Claude basically spits.

The Deer recoil at the sharp tone of their leader's voice and Byleth quickly steals away, leaving them further in the dark.

- ~ -

/ lone moon /

Rhea is a dragon. Claude and Dimitri are fighting back-to-back. Her Blue Lions, the Golden Deer, and the broken remains of the Black Eagles sweep through Edelgard's forces with a practiced strategy Byleth remembers outlining in a rainy Wednesday lecture.

The Empire keeps coming.

Rhea goes down under a swarm of demonic beasts. Byleth charges forward, Sothis's divine power surging through her veins. The Sublime Creator Sword whips out with a deafening crack and shatters the mask of a beast. Rhea throws it off, roars, and tears the other two in half easily.

Hope springs in Byleth's heart as she hears the dragon roar and her armies roar in response.

But, then,

Thales.

The magic sends her flying back to the gorge and she skids to a stop, pained and angry, right at the edge of a cliff. There's an ominous, terrible creaking beneath her. Rhea's dragon form screams out and then she hears the cries of her Lions as they turn from their own battles just in time to watch the cliff give out beneath her feet.

The fall tears the air out of Byleth's lungs and there is PAIN and then–

darkness.

[doctorcanon]

Fic Excerpt: FE:3H Modern AU

So I’m doing a thing. This is just a first draft. I think I want to up the ante on this and make Dimitri’s drunken tirade (not featured) much, much worse. As a matter of fact, I think Edelgard and Dimitri are going to be drunk. Also I’m so down for Estranged but trying to reconcile Edelgard and Dimitri. Also Claude is there. Idk I would like someone to help me beta this. In this scene: Edelgard’s Father (who’s still alive btw) has thrown an extravagant Christmas party by way of celebrating his daughter getting her Ph.D. Warning: Copious amounts of Alcohol.

“Staring at him isn’t going to make it less awkward.” Edelgard winces. She should know that Claude is always watching. Sure enough, she finds his old classmate sipping a martini and sitting at the table he’s clearly not assigned to. “Just go over there, this is painful to watch.” Claude tosses back what’s left of his martini. 

“Then stop watching.” Edelgard chides irritably. 

“Oh come on, you literally told me that you’ve been...” He straightened himself in a poor imitation of her, “...thinking about him more than necessary.” Edelgard scoffs and grabs a glass of champagne from the nearest waiter. Claude is never wrong. Dimitri looks lost, holding a rocks glass and glancing about at people he doesn’t know anymore. Edelgard wonders if that a side effect of his medication. “This is the perfect opportunity to nag him in a completely inconspicuous way. Just picture it: The prodigal brother…”

“Step-brother.” Edelgard corrects.

“Look, I can’t create a narrative if you’re going to interrupt.” Claude replies sourly. Edelgard has to admit, Dimitri is at least trying. He’s wearing a suit but seems to have lost his tie. She swears he walked in with one. He clearly stopped cutting his hair but has the decency to tie it into a messy ponytail. He’s drinking something dark from a rocks glass. That’s strange...she thought he was on medication. Losing an eye isn’t something your body just gets over. “Just go over there, Edie. He won’t bite.” Edelgard doubts that. She takes a look at her champagne glass and downs it. “Attagirl!” She ignores Claude and marches over to Dimitri like a woman with a goddamn Ph.D. 

“Hello, Dimitri.” She says, almost sternly. Dimitri whips around and seems shocked to see her. Good lord, this is her father’s party. Did he forget why he was here? “How are you?” It’s a loaded question with many answers. She’s just going to trust him to pick the most polite one. 

“Fine.” He says quickly. “Just um...just fine.” At a loss, Dimitri oscillates and Edelgard has to clench her fist from rolling her eyes. Must he be so helplessly awkward? Nevertheless, her wayward stepbrother seems to find his footing. “And you?”

“Happy.” She says, hyper-aware that her tone suggests otherwise. Dimitri pauses in his drinking but does her the courtesy of keeping his mouth shut. “Over the moon, in fact. It took five years to get my Ph.D. I move into my new office after New Year’s.” Remain cordial. Deep breaths. There’s nothing to be angry about. Yet.

“That’s great, El.” Oh god. “That’s...that’s really great. Congratulations. I wish I could’ve been there at your graduation ceremony.” That make Edelgard pause.

“That’s right.” She says. “You weren’t at the graduation…” She ponders, leaving “why weren’t you there?” unasked. 

“I was in vision therapy.” Dimitri explains. “Even though my sight has mostly recovered, driving is still difficult in certain conditions and my friends don’t want me driving at night especially. I can’t exactly get a ride share outside of town without it costing quite a bit.” Edelgard can’t help but feel a tiny bit guilty. She didn’t send him invitation. 

“You have a ride tonight, though, right?” She asks. Dimitri leans into the mundane conversation like it’s the only thing keeping him upright.

“Yes, yes, of course.” He says. “Dedue would kill me if I tried to drive by myself in the snow.” Edelgard has heard of Dedue many times but has only seen him a few times and hears him speak even less. He’s the person teaching Dimitri how to act like a normal human being. The lessons must be working because to charges through these awkward pauses like a champ. Though she realizes that his glass is full again.

“What are you drinking?” She asks a little too innocently.

“Whiskey.” Dimitri says simply before taking a rather loud gulp. Oh no. She’s beginning to see what’s going on here. She knew the open bar was a bad idea.

“Are you not on medication?” She asks. She’s about as transparent as a clean window but she just can’t help herself. She can’t let a man on pain medication get drunk at her - well...her father’s...party. 

“Not today.” That seems unlikely. “The socket is empty, so no prosthetic fittings, no headaches, no sharp flashes or phantom eye twitching. It’s almost like I was never born with one.” There’s a dangerous edge to her brother’s voice. He takes two big swallows and paces his drink back on the bar. “The doctor says it’ll be like I never lost it.” He says a bit quieter. She almost doesn’t hear him over the jazzy rendition of Sleigh Bells. His glass is full again. Wow, that bartender really isn’t paying attention, is she? Dimitri leans back and says. “Thank you, could you get my sister some more champagne?” Edelgard looks down at her glass. It’s empty. Has she really been sipping at it this whole time? She accepts the next full glass with a quiet thank you. “Are you going to be in town until New Year’s?”

“Yes, I am. Dad’s selling the old house.” Edelgard replies. Dimitri takes a few drinks of his whiskey. How many is that now, three? “You should slow down.” She says disparagingly. “Even if you aren’t on medication, that can’t be good for you.” 

“I get a list of what I should do from my doctor everyday, El.” Dimitri counters. “I know exactly what I should and shouldn’t be doing.” That might’ve been a bridge too far but four glasses of champagne tells her it doesn’t matter. 

“Well now you have one more person telling you. Perhaps that’ll make it stick.” Someone leaves the bar, sensing the tension. Dimitri straightens himself up like he’s bracing himself. She doesn’t appreciate the implication that she’s something to be withstood instead of respected. She gets enough of that from her colleagues. She won’t tolerate it from her so-called brother. “Your recovery is important. Your body has to be sound to heal itself. You’re not going to grow another eye but what if it doesn’t heal properly?” Dimitri opens his mouth to respond but she cuts him off. “It’s Christmas, Dimitri. Don’t waste it at the bar. Honestly, they haven’t even served the food. Pull yourself together.” She leans over, making eye contact with the bartender. “Cut him off.” With that, she struts off. 

Clause watches from his seat. That...didn’t go as planned.

[sgt-peppersmanager]

Do 1-102 😎😎😎 also you're a super cool human being just thought I'd let you know

OMG! Thank you anon!!💙💙💙

1.) what’s a song you depict with your childhood?• Come on Eileen by Dexy Midnight Runners. My aunt played a lot of 80s music for me when I was a kid, and she would sit down and show me music videos from when she was teenager.
2.) did you have a memorable childhood pet? • Yes! Two beagles. Donkey (the name kills me) and Loki. They were brothers.
3.) have you ever been drunk?• Yes, many times. My tolerance is top notch now tho 
4.) have you ever tried drugs?• No actually. 
5.) have you ever completely regretted what you’ve said?• Yes almost everyday.
6.) have you ever made someone cry?• I don’t know if I have actually. 
7.) has someone ever made you cry?• Oh my goodness yes.
8.) have you ever been in love? if so, describe the moment you knew it. • Yes, sadly. Well we were on a sofa in my basement, I was cuddled up in his arms, and we had a Beatles album playing on my record player. The song was And I Love Her, and I honestly can’t remember exactly what he said (funny how things change because I said I would never forget) but it was something along the lines of “haha man this song is how I feel.” Which I kinda ignored cause I figured he didn’t mean that but he said he loved me, I looked at him and said “do you mean that?” And he said “if what I feel for you when I’m with you isn’t love, then I don’t know what is.” And it was that moment where I kinda hit me that I loved that boy all along. Now I hate his guts, again funny how things change. 
9.) which came first the chicken or the egg?• Ted Allen. 
10.) are you part of the lgbtq+ community? do you support them?• Yes! People should be allowed to marry and love who they want regardless of your personal belief! Plus I’m bisexual. 😎
11.) how many siblings do you have?• One older sister and I hate her. 😊
12.) have you ever been in love with someone you couldn’t love?• Yes? Maybe? Idk. 
13.) are you a good cook?•Yes I’ve been cooking since I was 6. 
14.) what is your favorite tv show?• Always Sunny in Philadelphia. I’m trying to find another show though. Always accepting recommendations 👀
15.) what is the last movie you cried during?• Dead Poet’s Society 
16.) what are songs you’ve cried to when you first heard them? (if any)• School Days by The Kinks, Captain Jack by Billy Joel, and High Enough by Damn Yankees cause I’m a fucking dork who heard it after I got my heart broke. 
17.) do you have a middle name?• Elizabeth. Don’t forget the Z, they always forget the z. 
18.) have you been out of your country?• Nope.
19.) are you a chocolate fan or not?• Yes I love dark chocolate and any vegan chocolate. 
20.) how many people have you kissed?• one. 
21.) what is your favorite album?• America’s Least Wanted by Ugly Kid Joe probably. 
22.) what is your dream car?• I always feel so judged when I say what cars I want around my friends, because I know a lot of car enthusiasts. All honesty though I want either an old Chevy camper van because shagwagon amiright, or a hearse like in the Warriors 😂
23.) what is your lucky/favorite number?• 25 or 8
24.) what is your favorite flower?• Roses!!!
25.) books or movies, why?• I love both but I’ll pick movies because I have trouble getting my mind to focus when I read, I’m trying to help myself with that though. 
26.) have you ever been on a blind date?• Nope. 
27.) has one of your friends ever backstabbed you?• Yes. 
28.) have you ever backstabbed one of your friends?• Ugh yes. Never again. 
29.) what thing do you symbolize love with?• Death. Eventually its gotta end one way or another. 
30.) do you have neat handwriting? • Nooooo but my cursive is pretty. Not many people know how to read it so I don’t get to use it much 😢
31.) do you have a friend with benefits?• Nope. 
32.) do you want a friend with benefits?• Eh. Depends on the person. 
33.) if you could be anything in the world, what would you be?• Someone who actually makes a decent living lol 
34.) have you ever been blackout drunk?
• No actually. 35.) have you ever met someone famous?• Nope. 
36.) how many concerts have you been to?• 1, technically 2
37.) which concerts have you been to?• White Reaper. I’ve been to local punk stuff downtown if you want to count that. 
38.) do you have a hidden talent?• Not really. None that I know of. 
39.) what do you do when you’re stressed?• usually lay on my floor and wait for panic attacks to stop and listen to music. 
40.) do you think money can buy love?• well 🎶I don’t care too much for money cause money can’t buy me love 🎵
41.) how old would you date?Well right now the oldest I’ll date is 20 because I’m 17. But when I turn 18 probably date anyone within 10 years of my age, I guess it depends on who it is. 
42.) have you ever done something illegal?• No. i am a perfect innocent little child 😏(lol I’m so full of shit)
43.) what is your biggest fear?• big bodies of water and never escaping my family. 
44.) what is an unusual fear you have?• big bodies of water lol
45.) can you drive?• mhm! 
46.) do you believe in supernatural creatures?• yes!
47.) do you believe in karma?• sometimes????
48.) what is one quality you need in your partner?• sense of humor. 
49.) do looks matter?• eh it’s hard to say because only do you know what you think is “ugly” and what’s “beautiful.” Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. 
50.) does size matter?• 👀
51.) who is the last person you forgave?• Gabe
52.) what is your favorite ice cream flavor?• Superman, mint chocolate chip, or cookies and cream. But I haven’t found any good vegan substitutes for them 😢
53.) what languages can you speak besides english? • none. 
54.) ever been on a plane?• Yup! 
55.) ever been on a boat? • Yup!
56.) is there anyone you’ve lost touch with that you wish you hadn’t? • of course. 
57.) are there any friendships you regret?• YES. 
58.) are there any friendships you wish you could make?• Yesssssssss 
59.) have you ever stayed awake for 24 (+) hours?• Yup…
60.) have you ever walked outside after 12 am?• Yup!!!
61.) have you ever seen a sunrise completely through?• Yes I have. I get sorta sick a lot (hard to explain) and some nights I only sleep 2 hours so I’ve seen a lot of sunrises. 
62.) are you scared of rollercoasters? • depends on the rollercoaster 
63.) on a scale of 1-10 how stressed are you usually?• 9.5 
64.) do you have any plans this weekend?• Sitting in my room working on an art project and hopefully playing guitar and finishing up homework
65.) do you miss anyone right now?• Yes. 
66.) who do you wish you were talking to right now?• Lots of people.
67.) if you could have any superpower, what would it be?• Invisibility or mind reading. 
68.) who is your favorite superhero?• Quicksilver, Spider-Man, or Deadpool. Comics are kewl. 
69.) are you dirty minded?• Lol yes. I’m an immature asshole. 
70.) what is your favorite song from every decade starting at that 80’s?• 80s - Pretty in Pink by Psychedelic Furs • 90s- Santeria by Sublime or Ironic by Alanis Morissette • 00s - Blue Orchid by The White Stripes 
• 10s - I mean the decade isn’t over yet but digging Judy French by White Reaper a lot. 😎71.) how many kids, if any, do you want?• AGHHHH uhhhh people are gonna freak when I say 3 or 5 but yup. I want a lot. I guess I just wanna have a big happy family for once. 
72.) who is your biggest OTP?• Anastasia and Dimitri
73.) what is your favorite food?• Guacamole 
74.) do you want to be married one day?• Yes. 
75.) dogs or cats?• Both. 
76.) do you drink enough water daily?• 100 oz every damn day baby
77.) have you ever seen a shooting star?• yes only once. 
78.) if you had the opportunity to go to the moon, would you?• I would but not alone. 
79.) how many best friends do you have?• idk really. 
80.) when was the last time you cried?
• few minutes ago lol 81.) have you ever laughed so hard you peed yourself?•no actually. 
82.) have you ever made anyone laugh so hard they peed?• yes. 
83.) if you could travel any where in the world, where would you go?• Europe. 
84.) what are 3 words you would use to describe yourself?• Total Fuck Up. 
85.) do you consider yourself a loyal person?• yes. I usually don’t leave unless you’re a shitty person to me or someone else. 
86.) what is your favorite season and why?• Fall and Winter cause sweaters, hot food, warm drinks, cuddles 
87.) have you ever told anyone you loved them, and didn’t mean it?• Yes but not in a romantic sense. I say it to my family all the time. 
88.) do you know how to play any instruments?• yes! Guitar. 
89.) do you like falling asleep to music or not?• Depends on the night I’m having, but usually yes. 
90.) what are you allergic to?• Cats, I have seasonal allergies, and rabbits
91.) have you ever wanted to be someone else for a day just so you could see what there life is like?• Yes. 
92.) if you could be any character from your favorite tv show would you, and if so, who would you be?• Probably Charlie from Always Sunny because it just seems like an adventure. Lol
93.) if you could be best friends with any celebrity who would it be and why?• Nick Cave because we both have similar artistic visions and mind sets. 
94.) are you outgoing?• sometimes! 
95.) have you ever wanted to kiss someone, but weren’t brave enough to?• Ugh yes. 
96.) are you a good flirt?• I’ve been told I am by many, but I don’t think so. 
97.) have you ever been turned down, or have you ever turned anyone down?• Yes to both. 
98.) which planet is your favorite?
• Neptune or Saturn. 99.) are you superstitious?• Yes. 
100.) are you a good listener? • I like to think so! I don’t always have good advice but I try my best to be there and help. 
101.) are you a good kisser• I’ve been told I “make it difficult to walk after"👀 I honestly don’t know if that’s good or not. So yes???? I guess???? I can’t really kiss myself. 
102.) would you kiss any of your friends?• Sure. Almost kissed a few actually, and I always tell them when I almost do and why I almost did because I feel the need to lol.

[doctorcanon]

Modern AU First Draft

So this is the first draft of the party scene. I’m think about doing something a little more...dramatic. Maybe making Dimitri a bit meaner and Edelgard a bit drunker. Also Claude a little more unhelpful. But I do wanna mention if you know a person who could be facing problems with addiction...don’t talk to them like this. Edelgard isn’t perfect, but she really is concerned for Dimitri’s health and she really misses her mother. Also she has a Ph.D because I goddamn said so. Tw: Alcoholism, Drug use, Addiction though not explicitly said out loud.

Edelgard does quite well for herself, thank you very much. She doesn’t need accolades, praise or empty platitudes to be proud of what she’s accomplished. All her sleepless nights came to fruition when she finally walked across that stage to get her doctorate degree. She’s perfectly content knowing she has a corner office waiting for her. She can finally make real changes in the world. That’s celebration enough, in her opinion. However, it doesn’t seem like her opinion matters because she’s standing in the middle of this extravagant party in her best red dress drinking wine and eating hors d'oeuvres with her father’s friends and distant relatives. She’s told her father countless times how much she loves this hotel and its view of the waterfront but that didn’t necessarily mean “rent me a band and an open bar”. Uncomfortable she may be, his heart is in the right place. So the least she can do is make the rounds and weather the night.

Even Dimitri dragged himself out of whatever hole he comes from. She hasn’t seen him since he lost his eye and it looks like he hasn’t had a chance to get that prosthetic the doctors talked about. The eye patch is a little conspicuous. She doesn’t know why her father even invited him. It’s not like they talk much. Dimitri isn’t exactly good for her reputation and even more detrimental to her work. Does he even realize she’s here?

“Staring at him isn’t going to make it less awkward.” Edelgard winces. She should’ve known Claude would be watching. She carves a smile onto her face. Sure enough, she finds Claude sipping a martini and sitting at the table he’s clearly not assigned to. “Just go over there, this is painful to watch.” He tosses back what’s left of his drink. 

“Then stop watching.” Edelgard chides irritably. 

“Oh come on, you literally told me that you’ve been...” He straightened himself in a poor imitation of her, “...thinking about him more than necessary.” Edelgard scoffs and grabs a glass of champagne from the nearest waiter. Claude is never wrong. Dimitri looks lost, holding a rocks glass and glancing about at people he doesn’t know anymore. Edelgard wonders if that a side effect of his medication. “This is the perfect opportunity to nag him in a completely inconspicuous way. Just picture it: The prodigal brother…”

“Step-brother.” Edelgard corrects.

“Look, I can’t create a narrative if you’re going to interrupt.” Claude replies sourly. Edelgard has to admit, Dimitri is at least trying. He’s wearing a suit but seems to have lost his tie. She swears he walked in with one. He clearly stopped cutting his hair but has the decency to tie it into a messy ponytail. He’s drinking something dark from a rocks glass. That’s strange...she thought he was on medication. Losing an eye isn’t something your body just gets over. “Just go over there, Edie. He won’t bite.” Edelgard doubts that. She takes a look at her champagne glass and downs it. “Attagirl!” She ignores Claude and marches over to Dimitri like a woman with a goddamn Ph.D. 

“Hello, Dimitri.” She says, almost sternly. Dimitri whips around and seems shocked to see her. Good lord, this is her father’s party. Did he forget why he was here? “How are you?” It’s a loaded question with many answers. She’s just going to trust him to pick the most polite one. 

“Fine.” He says quickly. “Just um...just fine.” At a loss, Dimitri oscillates and Edelgard has to clench her fist from rolling her eyes. Must he be so helplessly awkward? Nevertheless, her wayward step-brother seems to find his footing. “And you?”

“Happy.” She says hyperaware that her tone suggests otherwise. Dimitri pauses in his drinking but does her the courtesy of keeping his mouth shut. “Over the moon, in fact. It took five years to get my Ph.D. I move into my new office after New Year’s.” Remain cordial. Deep breaths. There’s nothing to be angry about. Yet.

“That’s great, El.” Oh god. “That’s...that’s really great. Congratulations. I wish I could’ve been there at your graduation ceremony.” Edelgard freezes.

“That’s right.” She replies a bit guiltily. “You weren’t at the graduation…” 

“I was in vision therapy.” Dimitri explains. “Even though my sight has mostly recovered, driving is still difficult in certain conditions and my friends don’t want me driving at night especially. I can’t exactly get a ride share outside of town without it costing quite a bit.” Edelgard can’t help but feel a tiny bit guilty. She didn’t bother sending him a formal invitation. 

“You have a ride tonight, though, right?” She asks. Dimitri leans into the mundane conversation like it’s the only thing keeping him upright.

“Yes, yes, of course.” He says. “Dedue would kill me if I tried to drive by myself in the snow.” Edelgard has heard of Dedue many times but has only seen him a few and hears him speak even less. Apparently, he’s the person teaching Dimitri how to act like a normal human being. His lessons must use alcohol as a reward because Dimitri gets another Old Fashioned.

“What are you drinking?” She asks way too innocently.

“Whiskey.” Dimitri says simply before taking a rather loud gulp. Oh no. The open bar is a bad idea.

“Are you not on medication?” She asks. She’s about as transparent as a clean window but she just can’t help herself. She can’t let a man on pain medication get drunk at her - well...her father’s...party. 

“Not today.” That seems unlikely. “The socket is empty, so no prosthetic fittings, no headaches, no sharp flashes or phantom eye twitching. It’s almost like I was never born with one.” There’s a dangerous edge to her brother’s voice. He takes two big swallows and places his drink back on the bar. “The doctor says it’ll be like I never lost it.” He says a bit quieter. She almost doesn’t hear him over the jazzy rendition of Sleigh Bells. His glass is full again. Wow, that bartender really isn’t paying attention, is she? Dimitri leans back and says. “Thank you, could you get my sister some more champagne?” Edelgard looks down at her glass. It’s empty. Has she really been sipping at it this whole time? She accepts the next full glass with a quiet thank you. “Are you going to be in town until New Year’s?”

“Yes, I am. Dad’s selling the old house.” Edelgard replies. Dimitri takes a few drinks of his whiskey. How many is that now, three? “You should slow down.” She says disparagingly. “Even if you aren’t on medication, that can’t be good for you.” 

“I get a list of what I should do from my doctor everyday, El.” Dimitri counters. “I know exactly what I should and shouldn’t be doing.” That might’ve been a bridge too far but four glasses of champagne tells her it doesn’t matter. 

“Well now you have one more person telling you. Perhaps that’ll make it stick.” Someone leaves the bar, sensing the tension. Dimitri staightens himself up like he’s bracing himself. She doesn’t appreciate the implication that she’s something to be withstood instead of respected. She gets enough of that from her colleagues. She won’t tolerate it from her so-called brother. “Your recovery is important. Your body has to be sound to heal itself. You’re not going to grow another eye but what if it doesn’t heal properly?” Dimitri opens his mouth to respond but she cuts him off. “It’s Christmas, Dimitri. Don’t waste it at the bar. Honestly, they haven’t even served the food. Pull yourself together.” She leans over, making eye contact with the bartender. “Cut him off.” With that, she struts off. 

Clause watches from his seat. That...didn’t go as planned.

Edelgard doesn’t think she’s angry. Just disappointed. She mourned over their mother too but she went out and did something about it. Now she has her corner office and can get to making real change in the world. She’ll continue to rise above her grief as much as possible. She supposes some people sink and Dimitri has always been just beyond her grasp. She feels hot and flushed. Her chest burns. She turns on the water and splashes her face a few times. Thank God for waterproof eyeliner. Claude is always right. She’s been thinking about more than just her father selling the house. It’s about her whole family. Maybe she’s just worried about Dimitri. They don’t talk much and he isn’t exactly a social media person so she can’t check on him. With the house gone, he’s the only connection to her mother she’ll have left. 

“Edie?” It’s Dorthea. Edelgard composes herself. She must look a sight, bending over the sink with water dripping from her hair and face. “I saw you talking with Dimitri, is everything alright?” 

“Hm? Oh yes, I had to cut him off though. I think he was enjoying that whiskey a little too much.” Edelgard feels a burn in her chest and she clears her throat with a frown. “I think I might’ve had a little too much champagne before dinner.” She digs into her clutch bag. “Here, help my touch up my makeup.” 

By the time Dorthea has her “Instagram Ready” - Dorthea’s words, not hers - dinner is served. The buffet is quite fancy and decked out with carving stations. She feels a small thrill of childish glee at the sight of the pasta bar. Suddenly, Dimitri is the farthest thing from her mind. She enjoys the company she keeps. Flanked by Dorthea and Hubert, she’s surrounded by friends and family who support her in everything she’s accomplished. Her father beams. It’s rare to see him so unrestrained. Despite her misgivings, she starts to ease into it. After a while, she feels great. Even though she asks for water instead of another glass of champagne. She even spares her friends a few dances. Hubert leads her in a makeshift waltz when suddenly the speaker bursts into microphone feedback.

“Sorry, sorry everyone, sorry.” 

“Uh oh…” Someone mutters. Dimitri is up on the stage with the band. His jacket, ponytail and tie are gone. Edelgard rages at the sight of a Double Old Fashioned in the idiot’s hand. She’s not alone either. The jazz singer looks like she might kill Dimitri for her microphone. 

“Sorry, I won’t be long I just wanted to uh...make a toast…” She can smell his boozy breath from here. She gave that bartender explicit instructions. She will lodge a thorough complaint with hotel staffing. “To Edelgard!” She looks around. No one knows what to do. She suddenly remembers that saying about trainwrecks. You just can’t look away. “Congratulations on getting your Ph.D. You’re a full on Doctor of Anthropology. Which...sounds like apology but it’s still great like...you’ve been passionate about this stuff since you were like...nine. And that’s just so good, you know? But I have a doctor for a sister! That’s like...the best right?” This is the most complimentary drunken rant she’s ever heard. “Edel...El’s the best, you know? Even though you were a bitch to me a minute ago, you’re still the best.” He pauses and suddenly Edelgard is filled with panic that he might vomit, instead he continues. “You know...mom would’ve been so proud.” That panic turns to something quite different but it still squeezes her heart just the same. “She talked about you, all the time. Even when you weren’t around, you know?” Suddenly, Edelgard feels eyes on her. “She really loves you. I just wanted to tell you that. You’re ambi...ambitious...smart and...and that’s why she loved you more than m -”

In a streak of black and gold, Claude nearly tackles Dimitri and with the jazz singer’s help, wrestles the microphone from Dimitri’s hands. He ignores the weak “I wasn’t done yet!” but the taller man is too drunk to fight back. The dance floor lets out a sigh of relief.

“Whoo! Sorry about that, folks. It looks like Dimitri needs some water and a cab home.” Claude says struggling to keep Dimitri upright. “I’m going to go...do that… and Manuela…” He looks back at the singer. She nods. “...is gonna sing us back into the Christmas mood.” He practically shoves Dimitri off the stage and through the crowd. Deathly awkward silence follows as everyone tries to process what just happened. 

“Edelgard?” Hubert’s voice doesn’t quite reach her. She forgets dancing and bolts after her brother and old classmate. She doesn’t catch up with them until they’re outside. Apparently Dimitri stopped to vomit into the foliage. Somehow Claude got the valet to deliver them a bottle of water. The kid is just eager to get away from the god-awful noises. She could strangle Dimitri for embarrassing her her like that. To invoke their mother this close to Christmas might as well be a crime. She scowls in disgust. She wants to be angry. Furious even. She wants to kick him over into the bushes and into his own puke so he can choke on it. Of course, she doesn’t. Dimitri might be a drunken mess but she can’t shake the nostalgia tearing at her chest. 

They never talk about Mom. After the funeral they wordlessly agreed to never bring her up. Yet now Edelgard feels her lurking just beneath the surface. It seems like Dimitri has been thinking about her lately too. Perhaps he already knew her father wanted to sell the house. Claude might have cut him off, but she knows how he was going to finish that sentence. From her perspective, her mother clearly preferred Dimitri. Whatever. It’s pointless to dwell on it now. Their mother is dead. Why would he even talk about her in the present tense? 

“That’s it big guy, get it all out…” Claude says patting Dimitri on the back. He sounds comforting but he’s standing at a distance. He wants to help the poor trainwreck, not ruin his custom made kaftan; this thing cost a fortune. Claude gives her a look. “I’ll let you kick him over if you want.” She would rather think that Claude is a low grade psychic than accept that she’s so easy to read. “Stay with him. I’m gonna call someone.” Edelgard opens her mouth to argue but Claude is already halfway down the driveway. The valet comes toddling back with a cold bottle of water. He cracks a joke about the hotel bar but Edelgard doesn’t have it in her to pretend it’s funny. Bending down, she tries to get Dimitri to drink.

“Here, just a little bit.” Edelgard says as levelly as she can. Dimitri pushes the bottle away at first but she shoves it back into his hands. “If you don’t drink, I’m going to parade you around this party by the ear and make you apologize to everyone like I did at Aunt Cornelia’s wedding.” With that, Dimitri spitefully tries to chug the bottle only to end up puking up half it and the rest of the shrimp toast. Pathetic. “Dimitri, be honest with me.” Dimitri is a big man, towering over her at 6’2” and nearly 200lbs of muscle. Whiskey might be potent but the man is sloppy blackout drunk. “Were you drunk before you got here?” She asks. She doesn’t need an answer other than the long, guilty silence. She growls out her frustration. “You’re pathetic, you know that?”

“I know…”

“No. You don’t know.” Edelgard says. “If you did you’d be trying to change instead spiralling further and further out of control.” Something in her catches fire. “You want to talk about Mom tonight? Well she would be horrified of what you’ve become. You didn’t finish school, you can’t hold down a job. Are you even paying rent?” He can’t answer her. She might as well be talking to a corpse. Dimitri took the sweet, dependable boy he used to be and poisoned him to death. He could be great. Her mother didn’t raise failures. Where are his friends, she wonders. Do they see what he’s become? Do they even care? Or perhaps they’ve dragged him down with them. “This isn’t what she wanted for you.” She scoffs. “No one wants this for you.”

“I know.”

“Then do something about it.” Edelgard growls. She opens her mouth to say more but Claude comes flouncing back. 

“Hey, one of his friends is on the way.” He says. There’s a pause. She doesn’t like the way Claude’s eyes rake over her. He squints a little before easing into his laid back posture. “Go back to the party. I got him.” He says. She doesn’t even thank him, she just turns on her heel and makes a beeline back to the upstairs ballroom. 

The fire, burning so bright just a moment ago, snuffs out the second she’s alone in the elevator. All that’s left is ashes. They destroyed something tonight. Now she’s bereft. Little by little traces of her mother slip through her fingers. She can’t get them back. By the time she gets to the second floor, she’s crying. Not just a few tears but actual heavy sobbing that she can’t seem to tamp down. Even her eyeliner gives up and streams down her face with her tears. She only calms down when Hubert runs to her rescue. 

She spends the rest of the party with her father reminiscing about Mom. She doesn’t think about Dimitri again until the following morning with a text from Claude. Apparently, they’ll be spending Christmas in the hospital.