Tumgik
#Do Any Of Us Really Know Our Parents???
darkacademiaarchivist · 5 months
Text
THE FUCKING. NEW NIGHT VALE EPISODE????!!!! HELLO I AM DEEPLY UNWELL????
16 notes · View notes
mithomite · 4 months
Text
SICK. "right person, wrong time."
#SICK SICK SICK SICK SICK.#my HANDS are shaking.#what the fuck.#lolaa.txt#sorry 4 freakoutposting . nobody can know about this so i have nowhere else to say it all.#WHO SAYS THAT TO SOMEONE.#RIGHT PERSON WRONG TIME. WHY IS IT WRONG TIME.#WHY AM I RIGHT PERSON.#IM RIGHT PERSON.#WHAT. WHAT#HE TALKED ABOUT ME TO HIS FRIENDS. AND HES SO TOTALLY HONEST#I WAS FULLY LAYING ON HIS CHEST AND HE SAYS 'ok i do have to turn on the ac . ' AND SORT OF HALF LAUGHED SMILED AT ME#HE WAS BLUSHING .#HE KISSED ME.#AND IT WAS MESSY AND AWKWARD AND VERY SIDEWAYS BUT HE KISSED ME#AGAIN AND AGAIN. AND HE KEPT SMILING.#AND HE DIDNT WANT ME TO LEAVE BUT HE DIDNT WANT ME TO BE IN TROUBLE#i was 2 hours late getting home. AUHHHHHHHHHGHHHHHHHHGHIGHSEOIFHSEFOUESHFESJKKMNN#FUCKKK. I HAVE TO SEE HIM TOMORROW. IN A SCHOOL SETTING.#AND I CANT TELL ANY OF MY FRIENDS?????????#only one person knows and i swore her to secrecy because she wanted us to get together really bad.#FUCK but like . we cant. we cant do it right person WRONG TIME#but also can we just go back to being friends. do i really want to forget? it was so comfy.#FUCK.#FUCKKKKKK . AND CAM.#cam is so so sweet. light of my life cam. talented and artistic and handsome cam.#but. cam doesnt watch movies. or make mixtapes. or kiss me in the front seat of their car because our noses touched when we laughed#AGAIN SORRY. NORMAL. i need to tell my parents about the movie (tradition that they hear all about it) and NOT bring any of this up#i will be dodging the allegations the whole time. NOT EVERYONE GETS SOMEONE PREGNANT IN HIGH SCHOOL FATHER.#so there is that.
17 notes · View notes
crypt1dcorv1dae · 1 month
Text
I've literally never understood parents who don't let their like... TODDLER age kids play with kids of the "opposite" gender. Like wtf do you think your 3 year old is gonna get up to????? News flash heteros people aren't literally born sexual beings and you don't need to protect your sweet baby girl from the boy from her preschool class.
Which also makes boy/girl friendships later on actually LESS TABOO meaning, if your kid grew up being friends with OTHER GENDERS, they will be less likely to see others solely as potential romantic/sexual objects and can actually have positive normal friendships with people of any sex or gender. Who fucking knew that if you don't treat something as FORBIDDEN then it stops being so appealing, especially if you have a rebellious streak
12 notes · View notes
thebirdandhersong · 1 year
Text
well mark that down as situation 2938489 that I don't know how to handle
#i would love advice on this if y'all have any thoughts to share because i know what my parents think and im having trouble sorting it out#i love these three friends of mine but it is really draining to be around them now because all they will talk about is church drama#(re: our old church) and rehashing it all and being Outraged about the horrors etc etc#either that or being downright condescending about protestants/non denominations and acting like it's funny to talk like that all the time#i end up being more angry or resentful or exasperated at the end of our conversations than glad and at peace like i did before#(before all THIS ish happened and the three of them were like okay this is all we're going to talk about now)#i've tried to say in gentle ways (i am simply not capable of this kind of blunt confrontation) that maybe we should not be talking#so uncharitably towards other people especially behind their backs. like. yes bad things happened. we have to acknowledge that.#but continually making jokes and jibes at a priest's expense really rubs me the wrong way especially since i KNOW that he loves us#and in many ways was trying his best in the circumstances. and are we not supposed to be loving our neighbour#and is this not downright slander to keep going on this way esp since it goes on for HOURS at a time#anyway i don't know what to DO because if i keep chatting with them/meeting up with them conversation will be 90% this thing and i Hate It#but on the other hand i feel responsibility towards them because my godson's one of them and another is a friend who is a fairly recent#convert and if i leave them to stew in their own echo chamber i doubt it'll do them good#am i supposed to keep some distance? am i supposed to keep arguing whenever one of them says something unkind or inflammatory?#am i supposed to keep speaking up so that they hear a different perspective? am i supposed to run in the other direction for my own peace o#mind? anyway i am still thinking this over and it stresses me OUT#it used to be fun and life giving to be around these people and now it is so exhausting and seriously alarming in many ways
44 notes · View notes
dysaniadisorder · 7 months
Text
i hate how normalized military is in the us im gonna rip my hair out
#i just. was talking w friends today#one of them was talking abt how he was almost convinced by the recruitment lady to join the navy and i was like. dude#and i was talking about how messed up it is that they send in people like that and catch kids like him#and my friends were like. you cant really blame her for doing her job. its her JOB like yes. it is her job. its fucking Bad#my best friend got all angry cuz his dad was in the navy. babe idc if he didnt actually fight he shouldnt have done it ♡#''people get drafted'' you have to dodge the draft.#''thats illegal'' yes. this is a requirement for if you are drafted. you Have to just not.#no one said action would be comfortable nor convenient. in fact it is going to be almost none of either#you are gonna have to face that the military murders human beings and your dad is not any better#and people who its ''just their job'' to do it chose that job. and they know#''you cant get mad at the worker woman; you have to get mad at the institution'' no im mad at the individual woman too#just because its your job to manipulate kids and kill Arab people doesnt mean its okay#''not everyone in the military is actively fighting'' no! they arent. but they are helping those that are.#they are not complicit but actively helping. you have to do anything and everything you can to just Not Fucking do that#ANYONE in the military has failed being a decent human 101. being in any part of the military means you are okay with centuries of genocide#and encourage even more. its not 'just your job' you are OK and more for relentless murder and i wish you harm#anyways. sometimes repeating & internalizing the things ur parents say means watch our for road traps and the beatles are good.#sometimes it is US propaganda and just because it is in your own house and coming from a loved one doesnt mean you cant not fall for it#edit not to mention him saying this the day after aaron bushnell died. dude#unethical jobs exist. it is everyones job to bring them down#''its just her job'' was Bushnells sacrifice not fucking enough for you??? and the millions of dead Palestinians????? christ
9 notes · View notes
I think my mom doesn’t understand that people grow apart sometimes and that’s okay
#og#so there’s this kid#shes my neighbor from before we moved#and I mean by that that her house was Nr 1 at the top of the hill and mine was Nr 14 at the bottom of the hill#(it was a cul de sac kind of street)#and when we moved there the people there had a daughter that was a year old so between me and my sister#so as new parents do our parents immediately befriended each other so we pretty much grew up with that kid as a third sibling#except that she got a sister that was three years younger than her#and from that day forward whenever we met up it was four of us#And my sister and the bigger girl would be paired up#And I had to hang out with the baby#which. It was not fun. For so many reasons#but especially because I was just so bored and this kid was clingy and difficult and overwhelming and you couldn’t really….. play with her#and any time I tried to get the four of us to play together they’d still do the teams thing#And obviously we’d lose and I’d get blamed#so it goes on like that for about eight years which is when we moved away#And since then my mom has been prodding and pushing me to keep being friends with a person I was never friends with in the first place#MOM. SHES NOT MY FRIEND GOD DAMN IT#we’re in that awkward in between stage where I know her so I can’t really ask any questions about her bc I know the answers#but I don’t Know her so I don’t have anything to talk to her about#And she just expects me to do the talking even though she’s the one that wants to be friends#I would argue that it’s because she’s a kid but I get on great with much younger kids all the time#fuck. Being in courses with people I don’t know has shown that I’m not that bad at socialising at all#It just makes no sense to me to try with this kid
3 notes · View notes
galmiahthepigeon · 2 months
Text
It's crazy how my m*m will be like "why don't you tell me more things why won't you share your internal life with me" and then every time I actually decide to tell her something important she turns the conversation into a minefield and a two-hour lecture on how I'm bad at relationships. Very fun and cool 👍
4 notes · View notes
rewh0re · 10 months
Text
honestly why do men
rant in tags
11 notes · View notes
dredshirtroberts · 4 months
Text
it is not slacking off to write or create it is not slacking off to do things that are fun i am not slacking off or procrastinating right now i'm allowed to do things i enjoy doing for fun including playing games and writing and such
#if i say it enough i will remember it's true#can you guess which aspect of capitalism i'm struggling with today?#it does not help my bones are somehow WORSE than yesterday even after all of the rest i took so that's Super Fun:tm:#so i've got that on in the back of my head#ugh#i... am putting off calling my grandma - i meant to do it last week but i got too in my head about it#and uno reversed myself into forgetting to do it at all until the Worst Times Possible#(generally around Normal Fuckin Meal Times)#i want to call to wish her a belated mother's day and check in re: grandpa but also...#also i don't want to have to do a phone call i don't want to talk to them about anything at all#they stress me out to talk to and it makes me super uncomfortable to be on the phone in general let alone with a Heavy Topic over our heads#like.... i'm comfortable with where i'm at acceptance-wise with Grandpa's whole situation#and i know i am late for a better relationship with the pair of them in general#like i'm not going to repair a relationship that wasn't built to collapse down to this point this is as far as it got built up to#i'm not building more relationship between me and someone who i know is passing soon when they didn't take the opportunity either#like they had just as much chance as me to improve our relationship after i became an adult and they chose to use my mother as#an intermediary which has stunted their connection to me and that's not my fault#i admittedly did not reach out but i was not taught i could safely do that to anyone#because my parents badmouth literally any person they know for one reason or another#i regularly fuck up in conversations with my grandparents because i'll say somethign that is a holdover from my understanding of them#through my parents and it's like. kind of really insulting! and i've been doing it my whole life and i know as soon as i get their reaction#and i can't recover because i don't actually know them at all#so i can't be like ''oh my god i know that's inaccurate i have no idea why i said that'' because i *don't* know until after i've done it#every goddamn time it happened the last time i got a call from them too#like... my bio fam/family of origin is just not good at keeping in touch and i know i'm a product of that#and i know theoretically how to adjust for it but it does require work on the other end of the line too#and unfortunately i know my bio family too well and know they won't do their part#i grew up in the group project everyone hates#and i'm on my way to deciding they can show up to the presentation day without me#i've started a new family project over here with blackjack and hookers
4 notes · View notes
Text
My mom just sent a message to the family group chat suggesting that my siblings download the 'For the Strength of Youth' magazine on their Gospel Library app and talked about how much the youth magazines helped her testimony growing up and like, cool. Fine. Don't know why the 'sending random spiritual thoughts in the gc' thing started out of nowhere when it hadn't been a thing for a decade but this is just another one of those, and you're ofc allowed to talk about things that are significant in your life.
I don't think sending the 'What I Did When Someone Close to Me Challenged My Faith' article right afterwards was strictly necessary though 🙃
#hi bg mutuals 👋 i'm gonna vent about this from time to time. if any mutuals dont want to see it block the 'apostake' tag#trying not to read too much into it b/c I think I did last time something like this happened#and i dont want to make an ass of myself even if neither time would actually be in front of my parents#but like...i know that they know that one of my sisters is clearly PIMO#they went through her phone a couple weeks ago and i have no idea if they read my texts w/ her#but if they did they probably saw the conversation i had with her about some of the really common shelf-breakers#and telling her to take looking into it at her own pace b/c it's scary and overwhelming#(a conversation SHE started btw)#and when i talked to my parents about the larger context of that whole situation i talked about not having space to step back#and their response was that they give plenty of space b/c they dont make her go to seminary???#that's not the same thing as letting her openly question & potentially leave the church idk what to tell you#like. besties i dont know for sure what caused it (which is NOT making things better. it just feels potentially passive aggressive)#but from my end? it sure looks like it might be a reaction to that. probably not JUST that (friends exist) but.#if you think I'm whispering anti-mormon rhetoric into my siblings' ears just ask me. i'm very much NOT doing that#i'm just. talking? to them? when and if they come to me with questions?#and not making my answer 'well there's a reason our parents raised us in the church! ☺️'#(an actual argument given in the article my mom sent)#hate it. thanks#apostake#jay rambles#ok to interact#im not challenging anyone's faith. my patience though? INCREDIBLY challenged#gotta figure out how to work my way around a 'hey please dont send spiritual thoughts to the gc *I'm in*' talk tactfully#they've been pretty chill about me leaving over-all?? at least to my face#haven't pushed me to go to church w/ them; was fine with me not visiting for easter; didnt try to convince me to not drink coffee; etc#it's just. frustrating that they're not giving my siblings that still live with them that same grace#my sister's 17 ffs#it's very possible im way overreacting to the article. but what is tumblr for if not screaming into the void#religion#mormonism
3 notes · View notes
arcaneyouth · 6 months
Text
i'm starting to think living with 5 other people may simply be a problem
#vent post#negative#i've come to the conclusion i'm not getting enough sugar in my daily meals#(which is. ironic in a lot of ways. but i don't know what else the problem would be)#and that's great that's cool that i've come to this conclusion. i don't think i can solve this one#we don't buy that much sugary or junk food stuff anymore#my dad's got diabetes that makes sense that's understandable#so a lot of our family meals are like rice and meat and a salad#but yknow i'm not really gonna ask my parents to change that! it's been like that for a long time now it's fine it's alright#but i don't think i can actually solve the problem#i. already have a lot of foods that the rest of my family isn't allowed to touch. because i am So Picky#and when they were eating my foods more often i was Starving#i don't. think. i can ask for more. and you know what that's fine! that's fine that's ok i like my meals they're tasty as hell#what about snacks then? can we get snacks for the whole family? well no#we stopped buying more junk foodish snacks because it was All my siblings were eating#and it was bad! it was bad they shouldn't have been doing that. but now i don't think my parents trust us to be responsible with snack food#so our snack foods are. protein bar. fruit snacks (i had to request these specifically). popcorn#that's. that's fine. that's fine maybe i should be focused on fruit instead! fruit is good sugar!#well we don't store fruit i like the way i like it (don't put it in the fridge) so i never eat any of it anymore#but everybody else seems fine with it so really i'm not going to win this argument cause everybody else actually eats it more when it's out#(i don't think this is true. but i think it's true for My Dad and My Mom specifically.)#and i just. it really got me thinking about how much i don't have foods that i like in the house or meals that i love because Somebody Else#likes it done differently and not the way i like it#and that takes priority#to the point where i don't know what the fuck kind of foods i like because we just don't. have. any#i prefer white rice. mom prefers brown so we get brown. i prefer crunchier potatoes. mom prefers them soft so we make them soft#i like my fruits cold. my parents prefer to be able to See the fruits so they stay on the counter. i only eat chicken breast not any other#part of the chicken. my parents prefer thigh meat so we get thigh meat (which i don't eat)#oh huh. this post was a lot longer but tumblr deleted half the tags. yeah that's fair
4 notes · View notes
Text
had a conversation about gym class with my friend who I went to school with today - it was depressing but also nice to hear that her experience with it (at that particular school) was just as bad as mine.
I don't think the way my school treated gym class was entirely normal tbh. it was completely different to the school I went to after, anyway. and everyone I talked to there only knew gym class to be a pretty fun, lighthearted thing. at my old school it was only about achievement, you had to be perfect, if not you were usually yelled at. and if you couldn't participate because you were feeling a bit ill (but not enough to stay home from school) you were ridiculed and/or insulted in front of the whole class. this happened with every gym teacher we had over the whole 9 years there.
it felt like two hours of punishment, there was nothing good about it. and it made at least the both of us feel like any kind of exercise/sport, especially in a group setting, was terrifying - for years after. even my much more positive experience at the other school I went to didn't make that go away.
#maybe my school really just sucked#I mean I already know it did. but maybe it did in even more ways than I thought#maybe it's a Gymnasium thing. idk. any Germans please feel free to comment if gym class at your school was like this#and it wasn't just because we were bad at sports or anything. I got very good grades in gym class at the other school. and my friend does a#ton of different sports now and everything#I remember there was a girl in my class who got a 1 (the best grade) in every other class and a 4 (out of 6) in gym class. and the teacher#was so fucking awful and gleeful about it. he made fun of her so much.#I'm pretty sure I was about to get a 6 in gym class right before I dropped out - and that definitely played a part tbh. I just couldn't#spend one more second with that gym teacher. he was horrible and gross and mean (and sexually harassed girls at another school! but of#course he was still allowed to teach at our school!! ľ#anyway. gym class was the worst part of my (already not great) life from 11 to 19 so I hope all my old gym teachers break both their legs :)#except one. he was really nice to us and didn't do any of the stuff the others did. but we only had him for a year in between all the other#ones so it wasn't enough :(#like one of our (female!!) teachers would loudly make fun of girls who said they couldn't participate because they were on their period and#in too much pain.#in front of everyone. when we were like 13.#I hate that woman more than any of the others.#lol it's funny how like half of my issues are because of my parents and the other half is because of that fucking school#I will never forgive my mother for forcing me to go there and never letting me change schools even though I asked to for 8 fucking years#personal
8 notes · View notes
sab-teraa · 7 months
Text
[ignore]
#tye talks#my parents are genuinely just so fucking frustrating#they really don’t know me a single bit#after all this … they think I’m upset about money?#firstly I make my own money#second I’m sick of my mother trying to isolate us from everyone#that’s where my issue lies#and refuses to let us interact with any of our family members … both sides#and goes onto lie to them that we have no interest in associated with them etc.#my brother and I literally have no family other than each other … bc my mother makes our lives hell if we do so#and what makes it extra annoying is not that she’s tryna protect us or whatever#it’s the fact that she interacts with them perfectly fine and goes to all events etc. while lying to them that my brother and I are too#friend orientated too care about family#the worst one ever was when she lied that I’m too sick to go to my grans party and my dad left without me … my gran died a few weeks later#I’ll never forgive for that#and she causes drama if we date too#it clearly stems from the fact that both my brother and I are older and don’t need her as much#and she resents the fact that she sacrificed her career etc to be a stay at home parent#so now she wants us to have no relations with anyone other than her#I moved out forever ago and she tries to control everything#from what I wear to what I eat to what time I come home#and the most frustrating part is her going on on about how I should have become a lawyer etc.#stop trying to live your dreams through me !!!!#anyway im over it#I’ve offically decided to distance myself from everyone bc that’s what they wanted#so I will interact with absolutely no one#including my brother#like? I live ten hours away from them and still refuse to let me breathe
2 notes · View notes
ohmerricat · 2 years
Text
i don’t want to kill myself but looking at the future sometimes i feel like i have no other option. i fucked it up too far without anticipating consequences and it’s too late to make a change or strive towards any kind of hopeful meaningful existence. there is no way out for someone like me who has nothing going for them, squandered any opportunity, any talent, everything that was handed to them on a silver platter. no interesting personality traits, no aptitudes, nothing to make up for the gaping void where motivation and will to live and thrive and put in effort towards a goal should be. even the most basic steps are a pipe dream. i don’t want to die because i fear the possibility of hell but i no longer see any tolerable way of living.
#i reread parts of mark fisher’s capitalist realism last night and i know it’s unhealthy for theory to cement your own depressive spiral but#i’m thinking of him. even an accomplished thinker and it’s all the fucking same#i’m goinh to listen to swans and cry. i skipped class again and for fucking what#notice how it’s all i i i i i. i have no community no support network no close friends no partner nothing#only my parents who are affluent enough to support me financially but that support is conditional because if#they knew about what i was really like and even parts of my identity that support would be cut off and because i#have no marketable skills i would be left penniless to beg on the street#how long can i keep pretending to be cis and depending on them for vital necessities? until i’m 22? 25?#dropping out isn’t even an option because a bachelors’ degree is prerequisite to getting ANY job that pays above minimum wage but i#feel no passion for the subject i’m studying despite it being literally one of the only things i used to be GREAT at (media analysis; so —#lit major; on foundations for liberal arts; which should be all about PASSION FOR THE SUBJECT)#i’m teetering on the precipice of a steep cliff that drops down into the abyss of abject poverty with no way out#i don’t know what i enjoy doing; what to dedicate my resources and energy to; if i have none left. i don’t even smoke or drink or do drugs#it’s just sober suffering in silence. of course the meds don’t fucking help; meds can’t alter the world around us or our circumstances#this fucking close to going out and buying a rope. i have free will :)) hell can’t be real; it can’t be. worst that could#happen is reincarnation and honestly i could go for a second chance#jamie.txt#tw suicidal ideation
18 notes · View notes
livvyofthelake · 2 years
Text
and also. furthermore. sorry, back in the belly of the beast. i cannot stand it when people characterize kit’s dad as abusive. what did johnny rook ever do to you people. yeah he sucks a little bit. ok. and? he’s not abusive…. why must fanfiction and fandom in general always characterize the sad boy in their gay ship as being abused by their father. like do we need to blame blue neighborhood for this or are fandom people just that out of touch that this happened naturally. sorry to troye sivan for bringing his hit album/iconic music video trilogy into this. but seriously do we need to blame him. why does every fandom do this. but especially why does the tsc fandom do it to KIT. kit is a pov character man we KNOW kit. and you’re still just making things up about him…
5 notes · View notes
sluttyten · 2 years
Text
.
#my parents just got home from my grandparents so obviously we’re not driving to visit my brother tonight because it’s almost 10pm and he#lives like 6-8 hours away but I asked if we’re going tomorrow or not at all and her answer was ‘we’re not going’#then she was like ‘are you sad?’ and I’m like no#because I’m not sad I’m annoyed#annoyed that I canceled my plans for this weekend trip that they came up with just a couple days ago just for me to have to cancel my#piercing plan (which they don’t know about to be fair) but also canceled on my best friend because I thought I wouldn’t be here and then I#told her no I wouldn’t come over tonight either bc I thought maybe we might leave early in the morning tomorrow#but we’re not doing that either and I could have gone to target like I wanted to also but I didn’t want to leave and go anywhere bc I didn’t#know how long my parents were going to be or what the general plan was until it was too late and dark for me to want to go anywhere#anyway I’m just annoyed like what was even the fucking point? I hurried home from work threw all my stuff together fully packed and got my#pillow and my blanket my chargers and everything#I even unplugged all the electronics in my room bc I don’t leave stuff plugged in when I know I’m gonna be away for a few days#just for us to not go at all#if either of my parents had packed before today then we would’ve already been on the road by the time my aunt called#would we have just turned around then or what?#also ugh it’s like my parents knew I had plans they wouldn’t approve of bc it was almost right after I made the plans for the piercing with#my friend from work that they threw these plans at me and then once I’d told him I couldn’t do today but maybe next weekend they suddenly#wanted to switch our trip to next weekend but decided to keep it this weekend when I was like uh no#and now that my plans are to go next Friday to get pierced like neither of my parents really shared any plans or even packed anything until#today almost like they just didn’t really plan to go which I know sounds dumb and paranoid to say but we didn’t even have a hotel#reservation like we normally would like these plans just seemed very tentative this weekend and it’s just so annoying to me#I wasted my entire afternoon basically thinking maybe we would get to go and thinking maybe tomorrow and ugh#I’m just in a mood I’m sorry#I need to translate this annoyance into writing chp 10 before I fall asleep#also my best friend is updating me on her house sitting alone and she’s freaking out bc she’s not used to sleeping alone in a house by#herself and the power just went out on her and if my parents would’ve made our lack of plans more clear I could’ve at least been there with#her so she wasn’t so freaked out or at least so we’d be freaked out together#but tbh girl just lock yourself in a bedroom that’s what I always do when I have to sleep in my house alone. and put my car keys right#beside my head so if anything crazy did happen I could at least like set my car alarm off to alert the neighbors
4 notes · View notes