#and that doesn’t make him bad or abusive it makes him a person. because cassie is very good at writing PEOPLE.

[livvyofthelake]

and also. furthermore. sorry, back in the belly of the beast. i cannot stand it when people characterize kit’s dad as abusive. what did johnny rook ever do to you people. yeah he sucks a little bit. ok. and? he’s not abusive…. why must fanfiction and fandom in general always characterize the sad boy in their gay ship as being abused by their father. like do we need to blame blue neighborhood for this or are fandom people just that out of touch that this happened naturally. sorry to troye sivan for bringing his hit album/iconic music video trilogy into this. but seriously do we need to blame him. why does every fandom do this. but especially why does the tsc fandom do it to KIT. kit is a pov character man we KNOW kit. and you’re still just making things up about him…

[ennard-is-near]

I feel like some parts (not all parts, but definitely some) of the FNaF fandom kind of has a hard time with morally grey characters and it gets on my nerves a little. I understand that this is a problem in every fandom, but specifically in a horror game where every character does bad things it’s really hard for me to ignore.

Below the cut is a few examples of what I mean. Keep in mind that this isn’t everyone in the fandom. I’ve seen incredible works of fiction that do depict the characters as more morally grey, but I feel like the characters are too often simplified to just good and bad and it grinds my gears. This is also just my opinion, the source material isn’t exactly well developed so you can do whatever you want with it and I’m not going to stop you.

If William isn’t killing people before The Bite of ‘83 and was a pretty normal guy and father before that, it doesn’t mean he’s a good person. It doesn’t absolve him of wrongdoing if he went a little wild with grief and got lost in the sauce instead of always being completely horrible and neglecting/abusing his children. But so often I see so many fics and other art depicting him as horribly and irredeemably abusive before that, usually for little to no reason. He can feel remorse for killing Charlie, he can care genuinely about his family and Henry, it doesn’t make him not the bad guy. It just makes him more complex. He’s the bad guy because he’s selfishly trying to bring back his son while completely disregarding all the harm he’s doing to everyone around him in the process.

Michael doesn’t have to have a deeper reason to have done The Bite of ‘83. He could have just thought he was being funny. It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person. It’s okay if he genuinely cares about his father even though he knows/ suspects that he killed those kids. He’s a kid himself, he makes poor choices because he’s dumb but clearly wants to do the right thing and make up for it. That’s what makes him good. Not that he only does good things, but that’s he’s just trying his best to help people.

Gregory isn’t evil but he makes lots of poor choices that hurt obviously sentient beings and maybe Cassie. Vanessa isn’t just an innocent victim but she can still be redeemed. Elizabeth is obviously intelligent and knows what she’s doing is wrong but is too desperate to care. Henry obviously has some weird guilt complex going on but should have spoken to Michael before setting him on fire and probably should have done something sooner.

And isn’t that more interesting? Isn’t it more fun when characters are complex and all fall on some scale of morally grey instead of being just good and evil? Personally, I don’t usually enjoy the depiction of William as cartoonishly evil and everyone else as completely innocent and good. And Again, I mean no hate to people who do enjoy this depiction of the characters, I’m just saying what I find most interesting in the characters.

Thank you for reading my long post <3

[vivianbernadetteaurora]

 Maddie Perez style

Maddie S Styling in euphoria , starts out really liked with cherries 🍒 and matching outfits with cherries Chanel style outfits, butterflies and things like that, it changes during the first series through the trauma that she goes through in it when she’s happy at the beginning with Nate she’s in her light to colours pink purple but mainly like patterns Louis Vuitton which I don’t know how high school students can afford Louis Vuitton, but there you go,

So in the first season, we like I said we have a lot of floral co ord outfits, when she turns up to the carnival she is in a very revealing outfit in a purple which then comes out more and season two once her Nate broken up, it is the beginning of where it comes out the most and have fair kicks in when she’s at the carnival. She really dresses to impress and is really happy and it with her she gets and he tells her she looks like a prostitute which causes her to go off the right, fairly

The next day when she comes to school after he’s sorted her acting up around his family, he sees , as a friend to his family and friends and being embarrassed, specially as she spoke to his mother, and his family expect him to be with a woman he put up with his shit like his father does, Maddie isn’t that kind of,

Cassie would never of done Cassie, constantly, to previous years of past and this happened when I was unique for having a triangle like this, but it seems in your things like this up and all the time, meant to be meant to be like teenagers I mean America you guys staying in high school  forever at it it seems I mean look at GREASe jokes lol, even though Alexa Demi was 25 my day apparently she’s my age 33 or 32 at the time.

So after this is really bad I’m done with MDMA and she’s hit it up with us sunglasses on but from where he has sorted her around the neck and his bruised her parents when press charges she doesn’t and they make her, they are however still meeting up and seeing each other they put another abusive relationship is going back-and-forth back-and-forth and meeting up in weird places where no one can see them so I don’t have time for anything else.

Like I said with Cassie Howard have a colour palette does not change as always baby blue and baby pink M possibly , too dramatic , until she gets with Nate and he basically turns her into a version of Maddie but more jules embarrassed that he fancies someone he’s transgender as well but when you see Cassie, she looks just like her make up ,.

But this is Maddie season two her colour palette seems to be a lot more grown-up. She’s wearing black with light lace around it which compliments her dark features and our pair shape body and petite frame ..

Babysitting for a lady who has a lot of money she’s trying on nice clothes and realising that she could have this all one day and her friend who is the babysitter tells her that she did exactly what she did her colour in this season seem to be black green and purple , purple represents our personality , and it’s a real spiritual , light green and some of her other outfits are very inspired and early 2000s out of everyone else in the group , I’ve put these in a collage of outfits together but like I said, she progresses a lot more than Cassie and a few of the other Ocado , because she is wanting to grow up some of them are stuck in an age .

Maddie wants to get her grow up. She doesn’t wanna be her mum, but they said there was people who had their feet done and the people who did the , represented when buys her that coat .

The clothes make her feel a certain way and confident and like she says shit she pretends to be confident and teaches Lexi. That’s the way she does it. She just pretends that they often do the colours and euphoria of what’s going on for them at the time .

Nate buys her some lingerie it’s pink and it’s not something she feels comfortable when but she likes to impress men in a certain way. We’re watching porn and doing what they think would be desirable and she pretends to like underwear when she thinks it’s awful my phone that so funny, she makes herself look pretty, characters, RUE Bennett, her doesn’t change that much because she is stuck in her 10 years and the years of when her dad was dying and she feels the safety towards her but a lot of, and only 2000, Popstar.

[k-s-morgan]

Hi! I've been in the Hannibal fandom for two years now. Rewatched the show many times and yet Will Graham still confuses me like no one else. Hannibal's design is complex but somewhat understandable after watching the show again again. But Will's design is like a loophole. He can empathise with the killers. That means he can understand them. If he can understand them then why does it feel good for him to kill them? How does it work for him exactly. Does he feel for the killers? If he felt for the killers then what about his violent tendencies towards them?

I've always thought that he is like a God. A God of the killers. The killers offer him their design and he takes sacrifice in return of understanding. But how does his psyche work exactly?

Hello! Oh yes, Will is a very confusing character - it’s his defining trait, and I think that’s because he lies to himself, to others, and to us as an audience. He wants one thing, wants to want another thing, does the third thing, and making sense of it is a complex process.

I think Will’s empathy is a big red herring. I agree with Freddie here: he understands killers because he’s one. He has an almost supernatural gift that helps him recreate the situations almost exactly as they happened. He understands what motivates killers, he might sympathize with them, but I think he might also envy them their freedom to be what they are. They are a reminder of what he is and what he can’t allow himself to have. But most importantly, they are a way for Will to find a compromise with himself and feel better about his true self. Killing bad people is an excuse to justify his darkness, but I don’t think it’s a part of his design per se. 

I agree with you that Will is like a God - he and Hannibal both are. That’s one of the things that separates them from others and elevates them above everyone else. Let’s make an overview of Will’s victims.

1) Hobbs. Hobbs was a monster and Will killed him. But it wasn’t about justice and righteousness, not according to him. Killing a person and feeling pleased that you saved someone versus liking the act of killing itself are drastically different things. Many police officers have to kill in their line of duty. Very few of them get off on the act of murder. Those who do are killers, and they are especially dangerous if they immediately try to follow it up with another murder. Will never once says he liked killing Hobbs because he made this world better. When asked, he says that he felt a sense of power. This is a motivation of many actual serial killers. If Will was just glad that he saved Abigail, he would know it's normal. He wouldn't have been almost on the verge of a break-down and haunted by Hobbs. So it’s not about helping others, it's about murder, even if the victim was a monster.

2) Stammets. Will had no reason to try to kill him (which he admits to doing). Based on his and Hannibal’s talk, he understands that he just wanted to feel what he felt after killing Hobbs, and this makes him panic. So again, no someone. He’s chasing the high of killing someone, and Stammets is the most appropriate victim. 

3) Ingram. On the surface, it looks like Will wanted to avenge Peter and himself by proxy, hence pulling the trigger on Ingram. However, after Hannibal manages to stop him, days later, Will complains about losing a chance to feel how he felt when killing Hobbs. Murder high is his main motivation again - everything else is background or an excuse, depending on your reading.    

4) Randall. Will threw away the gun on purpose to make the murder more intimate. This is not about justice and this is not about protecting himself because by doing this, he reduced his chances. Will also beat Randall up until he wasn't moving. There was no reason to snap his neck. Mutilation, cannibalism that followed, keeping his suit, admitting he enjoyed the murder and calling it his design - this is about murder and WIll’s love for it primarily. The design part is especially important: based on it, we can conclude that Will loves a performance just like Hannibal.  

4) Chiyoh and her prisoner who Will set up. Chiyoh was innocent and didn't deserve to die. Her prisoner might not have been guilty - in fact, Will was the one to suggest that, and yet Will still set him up. It was a game and he was an observer - he lied in waiting for Chiyoh’s scream. He then turned the body of a losing party into art. Very creepy and very like Hannibal.

5) Chilton. Will clearly explained his motivation: he wanted Chilton to pay just because he wanted to be famous and messed with Hannibal by writing his ridiculous book. Will showed no remorse and admitted he did it on purpose.

6) Police officers he set up to be killed by cooperating with Francis. The ones he stepped over without a second look. They were innocent and they were a collateral damage. Will is a cruel God who doesn’t bother with mere mortals as long as it fits his purpose. In this case, his purpose was freeing Hannibal. Everything else was still a blur in his mind. 

7) Francis. Enjoyed the murder, admired the blood, called the situation beautiful.

8) Bedelia. She's innocent in comparison to Will and his body count. If Will faced no repercussions and continued getting more and more people killed, she had every right to go free. But God doesn’t have to be fair, and Will proves it by targeting her. 

What does it all say about Will’s design and philosophy? Apart from Godlike attributes and indifference toward collateral damage, I think Will is led by his bloodlust - he just tends to control it and direct it at specific targets. 

Will might prefer to kill “bad people” in the first two seasons, but it’s the process of murder that excites him. So I see his righteous choices as a preference that helps him justify his dark nature partly, not the core reason for his violence. Hannibal seems to be moved by his interest in human nature and his hunter instinct, but Will, I think, is a truer killer because he actually feels drunk on murder. Unlike Hannibal, he looks downright euphoric when/after he kills Randall and Francis. In TWOTL, Hannibal is more focused on the fact that his dream came true and he and Will killed someone together, but Will seems primarily caught up in the murder after-shocks themselves. Hannibal thinks about Will, Will thinks about how beautiful blood looks under the moonlight.

So, post Fall, I believe that at first, Will will stick to killing bad people like murderers, but once some times passes, his need for justifications will fade. He’ll move on to rude people, only his rude will differ from Hannibal’s. Hannibal doesn’t differentiate between genders and ages, but I think Will will. He’s interested in a feeling of power, like he himself says, in a sense of dominance, so he’ll look forward to a fight. He won’t be interested in attacking a teenager like Cassie, for instance, because the power imbalance is too prominent. But as soon as someone more equal does something Will heavily dislikes, something that wakes his bloodlust (a personal insult, physical or verbal abuse toward other people/animals, etc.), he’ll attack. He’ll be careful - he knows how to avoid being caught, but it will still be unpredictable and passionate. Will is a storm to Hannibal’s calm.

Then there is unpredictability. Hannibal tends to plan everything methodically. The only times we see him being impulsive is in Europe, where he’s descending into self-destructive mode, so it’s not a norm for him. For Will, though? Will consists of unpredictability, and Hannibal is fascinated by it.I think Will is going to kill when an impulse strikes. For example, he might go shopping, without having any dark plans, and end up murdering someone because the circumstances pushed some unfortunate soul onto his path. Will might or might not display the body depending on his mood. Today he can be in an artistic mood, but tomorrow he’ll be in a violent and impatient one, wanting to destroy the body entirely and leaving a total mess behind.

How Will would prefer to kill? In my opinion, in an intimate way. It doesn’t mean he’ll be weaponless, but something like a knife would fit his tastes well. He’d be able to feel it plunge into his victim’s body, tearing through skin and muscles, etc. - personal and intimate. Akin to what he did with Francis - his feral half-snarl, the way he paused after stabbing him before opening him up - it was dark and mesmerizing. Will might get into strangling, too, because it takes a lot of time and it is even more intimate. It might end up being his favorite. So, I can see him using his hands or small weapons to fully sense what he’s doing to a victim. This is something that he has in common with Hannibal because from what we saw, Hannibal also enjoys more intimate and prolonged murders that give him a glimpse into a person’s pain and struggle for life.

[ewokisaokay]

I literally never engage with euphoria discourse but tbh I’ve been seeing a lot of people’s reactions to Cassie this season and I feel compelled to say a few things. Spoilers ahead.

At the beginning of the season we’re told Cassie has been having a depressive episode, she’s clearly still reeling emotionally from the last season. She’s emotional and vulnerable and is clearly having issues with her drinking. She already has a low self esteem and says point blank she doesn’t think she’s a good person. She’s making bad choices as a form of self harm because she wants to punish herself. I also want to remind people that Cassie has been sexualized from a young age and the way she knows to get affection and love is sex. She’s been treated like a sex object for so long she’s internalized that’s all she’s good for. She’s been coerced into sex by many of her boyfriends who then went on to post it on the internet further violating her. She’s also previously mentioned wanting to commit sui.cide because of this, keeping that in mind for later.

Firstly, I’m appalled by Cassie’s family’s reaction to her telling them she wants to die and literally harming herself. It’s very clear her mom does not care, she just walks away from her sobbing and potentially sui.cidal daughter. Then Lexi just yells at her and turns it into an excuse to berate Cassie in defense of Fez, which like?? Y’all want to complain about Cassie betraying Maddy for a boy, Lexi sees her sister having a literal breakdown and makes it about the guy she has a crush on. I have a sister who I did not get along with at all for most of my life, but even in the worst parts of my relationship with her, I would never, ever, react to my sister stating that she wants to k.ill herself after self harming anywhere near as callously as Lexi does.

Cassie is right in saying that none of them think she has self worth, and it’s very clear neither of them respect or take her seriously. I’ve seen many people act like their response to her, especially her mom yelling about just wanting to watch her show and Cassie needing an exorcism is funny. Her daughter is having a fucking crisis and is clearly trying to give them many cries for help, but they’re completely unbothered. Cassie has no one, which is why she so desperately wants love and validation from boys.

At best, Cassie is the victim of emotional neglect. It’s clear her mother does not want to put in the work of helping her daughter and has her own substance abuse problems, and her dad is literally an addict who abandoned her. Cassie wrong for talking about Rue’s addiction like that and for the hurtful things she says to her family, but she’s clearly lashing out because she wants someone to just fucking care about her. She stops before leaving the house to go with Nate to look at her mom. She wants her to say something, show she cares, that she wants her there, anything. But her mom just sits there and confirms to Cassie that her feelings are right and she doesn’t care.

We’re literally watching Nate groom and isolate her so he can abuse her. Did Cassie make good choices? No, but again she’s an emotionally vulnerable girl who has no support in her life. She’s spiraling and Nate is right there ready to be the one thing she can center herself on. He makes sure to empathize how fucked up she is for sleeping with him, how she’s betraying Maddie, as a way to manipulate her and she internalizes it because she already thinks she’s a bad person and is trying to self sabotage as a form of self harm. He’s making sure she’s reliant on him for validation and comfort because no one else will. She literally tells him she’s ruined her life for him, and that’s exactly what he’s wanted this whole time. Honestly, it’s disgusting seeing people more upset at Cassie than Nate for manipulating her. People want to act like they care about victims of abuse, but when you see the entire process of priming a vulnerable person to be an abuse victim I see so many people in the fandom acting like she deserves it or she’s pathetic for falling for it. You can’t both claim to care about abuse then act like victims deserve it for not seeing it coming or being vulnerable in the first place.

At the end of the day the worst she’s guilty of is sleeping with her best friends ex boyfriend and not telling her about it. Is she whiny? Yeah. Is it hard to watch? Absolutely. But it’s also really fucking sad and tbh sickening to see her downward spiral. She desperately needs anyone to care, but no one around her does and it’s heartbreaking. She makes bad choices, but so does every other fucking person on this show. So why is Cassie not worthy of being shown empathy and seeing her pain like all the other characters? Is it because she’s pretty and blonde with big tits? Like, what about her makes you all so gleefully wait for her to be physically harmed or even killed. I do not get it at all. I’m not saying anyone has to like her, but I think you all should be extending the same kind of empathy to her that you do every other fucked up character in this series.

[rinadragomir]

Okay, so, here I am, remaining anonymous so that it’s harder for you to kill me 💀

- Jessamine is such an underrated character.

- Gabriel is way better than Gideon, and his internal struggle is way more realistic. Also, Gabrily is the best TID ship.

- Herongraystairs are special, while not my favorite, as a human relationship, but both Jessa and Wessa are so overrated. So is Kitty.

- Tessa is annoying. Worst protagonist by a whole lot.

- I dislike James almost as much as Charles. Also, I hate how Cassie blames everything on being irascible when it comes to James and Will. I feel like she validates behaviours that really shouldn’t be validated.

- Having Thomas and Eugenia is Gideon’s redemption era.

- Neither Grace nor Christopher are necessarily aroace, and people should treat the topic more carefully. I’m not saying that they can’t be (and it would be great if Cassie handled it correctly), but I see a lot of people mixing up trauma with being aroace. And that is really harmful.

- Cordelia is okay, but I do feel like Cassie hasn’t fully fledged her character and it occasionally seems to me like I’m dealing with different people depending on the scenes.

- Ghostwriter isn’t worth the hype, but it’s still way better than Jordelia.

- Jordan was in the wrong with Maia, but he wasn’t a bad person.

- Kierarktina doesn’t work. If Mark and Cristina had as much chemistry as Mark and Kieran or as Cristina and Kieran, it’d be great. Sadly they don’t.

- Thule!Livvy and Cameron are so underrated. I’m still heartbroken over one of them being dead in each world and them never being able to be together.

- Diego is a very complex and interesting character, precisely because he’s not perfect.

- QoAaD was disappointing, and its best parts were the Rosales brothers’ interactions.

- I love Malec, but what Cassie is doing with TEC (especially with TLBotW) isn’t it.

- Shinyun was so interesting in TRSoM and deserved a better characterisation than whatever Cassie was thinking at the time.

Ready to be killed in 3, 2, 1… 💀

@thestarkster1465 your soulmate is here. You can run to Antarctica together ✨🤗

1 - SHE IS 💅 MY UNDERRATED QUEEN. I really hope she'll manage to find peace in the wicked powers

2 - I wouldn't say he's better, I'll just say that plot makes him more complex, cause he was the one who stayed with his abusive father when Gideon left to Spain. He just has to be more interesting and complicated at this point. GABRILY BEING THE HORNIEST COUPLE + BEST PARENTS CHECK✅

3 - ...not Kitty and Jessa......YOU—

4 - That's an individual thing, i guess. Tessa annoyed me too a bit in TID but i understand that she was just a young girl raised how she was supposed to be raised that time. I love her in every other book🌼

5 - .... there's some truth about Will...BUT MY LITERALLY CURSED BOY JAMES?!?!?! LIVING UNDER SOME DEMONIC LOVE SPELL SINCE HE'S 12 or sth?!?!?! He literally cries when he hears the sound of rain!!!!!

6 - Maybe maybe 🤔

7 - That's actually a very complex and complicated topic. I think I should dedicate a separate post to this, but you're so right about that trauma part. @hotdog-frenchfries EDUCATE MEEEEE😭 Personally, I think that as long as we don't have official information about their sexuality, we can think whatever we want. They might both be aroace or not, both options are valid for now. And no one can condemn any of these options cause we don't have any information about it🤷🏼‍♀️I hope we'll find out in chot

8 - THAT'S SO TRUE OH MY GOD! Not to mention how in the first book Cordelia proudly told us where she came from and talked about her culture, and in the second book we pretend that none of this happened WTF CASSIE?!?!

9 - WHY Y'ALL DON'T LIKE MY GHOSTWRITER I'M GONNA CRY ALL DAY🥺 @axoloteca hug me

10 -That's true, i actually answered one ask about him yesterday, pls find it👉👈

11 - I wrote everything I think about Kierarktina here meow

12 - I KNOW😭😢 they fit each other so well, i guess Livvys destiny, to suffer in every world

13 - I've read TDA so fast I don't even remember him well. But everything i remember is pretty good🤔✨

14 - It was disappointing for me too but for different reasons. I tried to finish TDA as fast as I could, so i don't remember much about them either ;-; I said it hundred times and I'll do it again: too many characters + not enough pages

15 - oh but why 🥺🤔

16 - ONLY FACTS, THERE'S NO LIE, JUST TRUTH IN YOUR WORDS! #shinyun_deserves_better_2022

BABE I'M ALREADY RUNNING AFTER YOU😤😤😤😤😤😤😤😤

[tssidesfics]

Requests: Analogince where they’re human and also single dads? And they all meet because their kids fought and got called to the principals office

Virgil's POV

Upsides to being a single father to a child with ADHD: you got to raise a beautiful, special boy with a sharp mind. You got to teach him all the coping mechanisms you'd painstakingly learned over the years to cope with his condition and watch as he lit up over the things that brought him joy. You got to watch as he zipped from topic to topic, brighter than the sun, mind racing at a million miles an hour. You got to be the first person to hear about his beautifully creative ideas. You got to have a reason for living, all yours and wonderful, that you didn't have to share with anyone else.

Downsides to being a single father to a child with ADHD: you had no one else to pass the buck to when he got in trouble at school.

"It'll be fine," I chanted to myself for the billionth time as I turned off the ignition and unbuckled myself, gripping the steering wheel and forcing deep, measured breaths. "It'll be fine. He probably won't get expelled for this. This is his first fight and you don't even know why he got into a fight. You didn't raise a bully, so he was probably defending himself or another kid." Terror clasped me around the throat and squeezed. "But what if you did raise a bully and you didn't realize it, and now you've sentenced your son to a life of crime trying to make up for the hole in his heart where his father should have loved him oh God I broke my son!"

Immediately, my therapist's voice spoke up in my mind. You're catastrophizing again, he said in that obnoxiously aware, gentle way of his. Calm down. Take it one step at a time.

I closed my eyes and breathed deeply, focusing on the feeling of my stomach and then my chest expanding with air. I let it out through pursed lips, a quiet whistle in the exhale.

I'd played through scenarios like this a million times in my mind. The second Cassie told me, five months pregnant with tears streaming down her cheeks, that she didn't want the baby, I'd prepared myself for any possibility. I'd created contingency plans and contingency plans for my contingency plans, because I knew how much harsher the world would be on him. With a grandparent, his biological mother, and me all with ADHD, there hadn't been any doubt Drew would get it, too, and I'd prepared for that. I'd prepared for the possibility that poor grades and emotional dysregulation would put him on the back foot and even get him expelled. I'd taught him all the coping mechanisms I could. I'd tried to show him as much love and patience as I could muster, and I'd show him the same now. We'd get through this. We would make it through this.

I nodded, resolute, even as doubt and worry niggled at the back of my mind. I'd raised Drew alone, without any support from my parents or Cassie, working a call center job that barely paid enough to live off of. I'd demanded a child psychiatrist the second Drew started displaying symptoms and beat the system for the help he deserved. I'd beat the system for the help I deserved. I was a badass. I was a badass.

I got out of the car.

The two people at the front desk--a woman with strawberry blonde hair and a baby-faced guy--looked over, presumably torn from their conversation, when I walked through the door. The woman swiveled her chair to face me with a friendly smile. "Hello there," she said. "How may I help you?"

I forced myself to look her in the eyes and strained through a smile. If you act like a weirdo, it'll just make things worse for Drew. "Hey," I said. "I'm, uh...Drew Griffith's father. You called me and--"

"Oh!" She gestured to the side, at a door that read: PRINCIPAL MOROZOV. "He's in there."

I looked over and gulped, staring in fear at the door. "Say, uh..." I smiled at the woman as politely as I could. "You wouldn't happen to know the correct social etiquette for talking to the principal after your son gets into a fight at school, would you?"

She gave me a funny look. "Huh?"

"Never mind." I hung my head in defeat and commenced the walk of dread to the front door of the office. The wall facing me was all glass, which meant I could see inside. Two adults, one natural-haired in a polo shirt with his arm around one of the kids in the chair beside him and the other behind a desk, looking stern. I couldn't see the other two kids or any other adults.

And then Principal Morozov spotted me through the glass and shit, I was out of time.

I took a deep breath and opened the door. "Sorry it took me so long," I said, hoping that was the right thing to say. "It was hard getting off work."

"It's all right," Principal Morozov said. "We haven't even reached Mr. Accardo yet."

"Hey, Dad," came the halfhearted voice of Drew, hidden behind a chair too big for him, especially when he slumped in it like that.

I peered over the top and smiled at him softly. "What the heck, kid?" I asked.

"He called Patton a freak." Drew pointed at the kid in the middle, with a busted nose and--oh God.

He had scattered burn marks across the right side of his face, with two differently-colored eyes and a scowl.

"So of course you had to beat me up," the kid sneers. "Because that's a perfectly rational, healthy thing to do."

The third kid--Patton, I presumed--bounced in his seat, humming in distress. His father, a man wearing glasses and a polo shirt with a tie, rubbed his back.

"I don't see why my son has to be here," the other father said, looking at Principal Morozov. "He didn't do anything."

“Patton sits alone at lunch time and doesn’t have any friends,” the principal said. “We think if he tried to get along with his peers better, he’d have a happier time here.”

“Or, you know, you could make an effort to teach your students not to bully kids who are different from them,” I grumbled.

“What was that, Mr. Griffiths?”

I hesitated, glancing up at Principal Morozov, then back at Drew. On one hand, I wanted to lead by example: teach Drew that it was okay to stand up to authority for what he believed. On the other, sometimes, you had to pay lip-service to authority just to stay out of trouble. It was a lesson no child had the mental capacities to understand, but I supposed I’d have to do my best to teach him, because if I gave Principal Morozov cheek, he might expel Drew.

“Nothing, sir,” I said, feeling like a child cowering beneath the glare of my teachers again. I prepared to search for the bullshit in the story I was about to get fed and asked, “What happens now?”

"I'd prefer to wait for Mr. Accardo," the principal said.

"Roman teaches at a high school," the bully grumbled, slouched over with a glare fixated on the desk. "He's probably in the middle of class."

"Then you're going to have to stay after school to address this," Principal Morozov told him sternly.

"Whatever."

I had a very bad feeling about that kid. The scars on his face told a frightening story. He could just as easily be bullied for those as Drew got bullied for his ADHD and Patton for being a loner, which probably meant he turned that abuse outward and attacked others for their perceived differences in a never-ending cycle of abuse.

What? I could be bad at people and have a special interest in human psychology. Those two things were not mutually exclusive.

Suddenly, the door banged open. I jumped out of my skin, clamping a hand over my chest and struggling to breathe levelly, eyes crushed shut and body frozen. Then I heard the babbling.

"I'm sorry!" The principal's door opened. "I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. The kids were in the middle of rehearsal and--Janus, what happened? I'm so sorry, Mr. Morozov." A frazzled man with warm skin rushed inside and sat down next to the bully--Janus--hastily hugging him and turning his attention to the principal.

I frowned at the scene. I withheld judgment and looked at Principal Morozov as he said, "All right. Now that you're all here, there are going to be some serious consequences to what happened today."

********

"I can't believe you let him give me detention!" Drew whined. "Janus deserved to get punched!"

"And you deserve to die abandoned and unloved in a ditch, steeping in your own feces," Janus snapped.

"Janus," his father, Roman, said firmly, kneeling down and taking him by the shoulders. Janus tried to turn away from him, but Roman lightly shook him and made him meet his eyes. He softened. "I know how much you're hurting, but a hero never redirects his pain onto others. There are other ways."

"What if I don't want to be a hero?" Janus snapped. "What if I want to be the bad guy?"

"I don't believe that," Roman said gently, adjusting his bangs. "I don't think you do, either."

Janus turned from him sharply, crossing his arms and glaring at the asphalt. He sniffled.

Drew glanced up at me in confusion and I rubbed his back. "Sometimes," I said gently, "when people are hurting, they deal with that by hurting other people."

"That's stupid," Drew said with the blunt confidence of a ten-year-old.

"Maybe a little," I agreed, "but humans aren't always logical." Drew wrinkled his nose. "I know. It's so annoying, but it's true. You're not always logical, either. Remember when you burst out crying because your pencil broke?"

"Dad!" Drew turned bright red.

Roman chuckled. "So." He stood up and crossed his arms. "You're the little rascal who dared challenge Janus to a duel for--Patton, right?" He looked at Mr. Davis--or Logan, as he'd introduced himself--who nodded. "You're the rascal who challenged Janus to a duel for Patton's honor," Roman finished.

"He was being an asshole," Drew protested.

"I'd say it's not my fault he uses that language," I said through a wince, "but it's definitely my fault he uses that language."

"I'm the same way with Janus, don't worry." Roman chuckled--a low, rumbly sound. He turned back to Drew. "You're got a paladin's heart and a temper. I was a lot like you when I was a kid."

Drew snorted. "You think you're cute, don't you?"

"He's always like this," Janus said, shoving in front of Roman. "He thinks it's so inspiring to talk about heroes all the time, like fairy tales are the best thing ever."

"That's gotta be annoying," Drew said, wrinkling his nose.

"It is." Janus stopped and scowled. "Don't relate to me!"

"Ew! You're a jerk! Get away from me!"

I exchanged a fond, exasperated look with Roman, who chuckled and squeezed Janus' shoulder. "Hey," he said, "maybe, if you apologized, you could have a friend."

"I don't want to apologize."

"So you'd rather another kid think you're a horrible person!"

Janus hesitated a moment before straightened his back. "Yes."

"I don't believe that."

I glanced over at Logan and saw that he was busy talking to Patton, kneeling on the ground and smoothing his hands over his shoulders in measured strokes. It seemed to soothe Patton. I looked at Drew.

"You know how it sometimes hurts you when you think about your Aunt Cassie?" I said softly, pulling him into my side as the shadow washed over his face.

"He called Patton a freak, Dad," Drew argued. "He's not even really my friend, but he's not a freak. He's just...different. Like me."

"I know, kiddo," I said, squeezing him against my side. "You don't have to give him a chance. He hasn't asked forgiveness, and you wouldn't owe him one even if you did. I just know you don't like to see people struggling alone."

Drew hesitated.

I looked over at Logan. "How's Patton?"

Logan glanced back at me, then looked at Patton. "Do you want to answer?"

Patton hesitated.

"It's okay," I said, not looking at his face. Patton hadn't made eye contact with a single person, including his father, since I'd met him. He clearly had more trouble with it than I did, and I wasn't always a huge fan. "I'm autistic, too."

Patton immediately perked up. "Really?"

"Yeah." I smiled, looking over the top of his head. I looked at Drew. "Can I tell him about you?"

"I'm ADHD," Drew told him, turning to him. "I got diagnosed last year."

"Oh cool!" Patton flapped his hands at his sides and bounced eagerly. "I don't, I don't think, because I'm actually pretty good at focusing most of the time and I have a really good memory, but Dad says autism and ADHD are really close together. It's really nice to meet someone else! I don't have many friends."

"Well, I guess you have me," Drew said. "I didn't get in trouble defending you for nothing."

Patton squealed and continued stimming enthusiastically. Drew offered a hug, which Patton considered for a long moment before accepting.

Logan smiled softly at the exchange and looked over to me. "You've raised a very kind son."

"More than half of it is all him," I said. "I do the best I can, but...I'm just one person. He's probably gonna hate me once he's a teenager."

"Nuh-uh!" Drew objected, charging over to embrace me around the middle. I smiled and hugged him close, squeezing him as tight as was safe. He grunted.

I caught Janus staring at us. I couldn't read his expression. He was glaring, but I had a feeling it wasn't anger. But clearly, Roman did understand it, because he knelt down and hugged him close, even when he tried to push him away. He just held fast. I thought for sure Janus would react badly--he hadn't wanted to be held, what was wrong with Roman?--but then he slowly relaxed and leaned against him. I still couldn't read him very well, but that...didn't look particularly resigned.

"You know," Roman said, pulling back after a long while, "I bet Drew and Patton would be willing to forgive you if you really, really earnestly apologized."

Janus shoved away from him, crossing his arms and glaring at the ground. "I don't want to apologize."

Roman sighed heavily, and Drew whirled on him. "You're such a freaking jerk!" he screamed. "What's wrong with you? Why do you have to be a jerk to everyone? I tried to be your friend and you just spit on me!"

"I don't want your pity!"

"It wasn't pity!"

"It's always pity!" Janus screeched. "You think I don't know what these scars make me? You think I don't know I'm a freak? If the fire didn't teach me that, then my parents sure did! I'm nothing! The only reason anyone would be nice to me is pity and I don't want anyone's pity! I just want to be left alone!"

Janus turned and ran. Roman chased after him frantically, never sparing Logan or I a glance.

Drew and Patton stood stunned. Drew looked at Patton, who stared at his forehead. "Well..." he said. "What the heck am I supposed to do now?"

Patton ran in the direction of Janus.

At that point, about the only thing for Drew and I to do was chase after his new friend, hot on the heels of his father.

We found Patton with his backpack unzipped, standing beside Janus' car door, already buckled in with Roman partway into the driver's seat, holding out a picture of a flower.

"It's ivy," Patton said. "It means friendship."

Janus stared at him through the window, unmoving. Patton, to my shock, held his gaze for one, two moments and then averted his eyes. Logan hurried over to hold him, clearly expecting Janus to reject him again.

Janus opened the car door. "Why would you want to be my friend?"

"He didn't say he wanted to be your friend," Drew sneered. "He just said it meant friendship, dummy."

"Drew," I chided softly, and he recoiled into my side.

"Because it's nice to know I'm not the only one who can't make any friends," Patton said. "I like having other friends who are special."

"I'm not special," Janus snapped.

"Dad says that being different is always special, because different people have discovered some of the coolest, prettiest things ever."

"It's true," Logan said. "Albert Einstein, Hans Christian Anderson, and Michelangelo. were all autistic."

"See?" Patton bounced and beamed at Janus. "So maybe we can all be different and special together and do really cool things one day! Like the three Musketeers."

Janus considered strongly. "I'm Athos."

"You can be whoever you want to be!" Patton said earnestly. "Then we can all have lots of musketcheer."

Drew, Roman and I choked on a laugh. Logan shook his head fondly. "He watches one sitcom that likes puns and he suddenly won't stop," he said.

Even Janus cracked a small smile. He accepted the paper. "Fine," he said. "We can have musketcheer."

Drew pouted. "Does this mean I'm your friend now?"

"Yes," Patton said firmly, looking at him.

Drew jumped, looking fearfully at Patton, who somehow managed to look intimidating while also avoiding eye contact. He looked up at me. "What have I done?" he asked.

"Made friends." I rubbed his back. I looked around. "We should probably get all these guys home. They've had a long day, and school will be letting out soon."

"I guess now that all our kids are friends, I'll be seeing more of you," Roman said to both Logan and me.

Logan hummed. "I presume so. Patton does not own a phone of his own. I can give you my number if your children wish to contact him?"

"I hate to say it, but you should probably get him his own phone," I said. "It's dangerous not to have one. If I ever lost sight of Drew...I'd rather he have a phone."

Logan considered this. "I suppose you have a point. Nevertheless, for the moment, you'll have to go through me to reach Patton."

"Don't have to ask me twice. Here." Roman accepted Logan's phone and typed in Janus' number, then passing it to Drew, who stared at it for a moment.

I recited his number to him and he punched it in. "Don't worry, kid," I said. "One day, you're going to have to tell so many doctors your number that it's going to be emblazoned on your brain."

After all numbers had been exchanged, I shook Logan's and Roman's hands goodbye and let Patton and Drew embrace again. Janus stayed stubbornly in his seat, refusing any sort of affection, which kind of concerned me, but then Roman whispered, "This is the most receptive he's been since I started fostering him."

I nodded and smiled, leading Drew back toward the car. He looked at me. "I guess I have friends now."

I glanced back toward Roman's car as it drove away and caught Logan's eye as he loaded into his own. He smiled at me.

"Yeah," I said. "I think I might have, too."

[deancasswitchbang]

Title: We Get What We Deserve Author: @lulu1102​ Artist: @hawkland​ Pairings: Dean/Cas, John/Mary, Charlie/Dorothy Tags: Major Character Death (Post-Series Heaven fic), Past Child Abuse mentioned, Past Prostitution mentioned, post-canon, wing kink, anal sex, blow jobs, proposal, angst and fluff, Happy ending, Jack is God, homophobic John, Divorce (not Dean/Cas)

Summary: Dean's not happy or peaceful in Heaven. Gabriel decides to check into his hissy fit personally and realizes he may have given his baby bro Cas some bad advice.

Post series canon compliant story that plays out in Heaven. Dean admits some things about his past, becomes happy with who he is and where he is, and someone in Heaven gets sent to where they deserve to be. Actual communication between Dean and Cas. Fluffy and smutty.

Excerpt: "This sucks! I'm not at peace! This isn't paradise! This is no better than a...a...fucking Djinn dream. It's a gilded cage!" 

He stormed over to the framed mirror and punched it until it splintered all over the floor. He couldn't even bleed. The shards of glass on the floor didn't cut him as he sank down on them. "Why am I even here?" he sobbed.

"Because you changed an angel. Because you made him care. Because by saving you he saved the world. None of this would be possible if it weren't for you."

Dean startled at the familiar voice. "Yeah? Well how come everybody else got their happy ever afters, Gabe? And when the fuck did you get here? Where's Cas?"

Gabriel snapped away the mess before joining Dean on the floor. "Because you're both a couple of assholes who had shitty fathers who made you feel unworthy of anybody's love."

Dean scoffed. "Yeah well my shitty Dad is up here too. And he gets to be with the one he loves. He gets to sleep next to her every night. Gets to hear her laugh."

"And what have you done to make that happen for yourself, Kiddo? Bee tee dubs my dear nephew sprang a few of us 'humanitarians' to help with the remodel. Figured we'd be the most sympathetic to the cause," he shrugged.

"Just because you're an archangel doesn't mean I won't tell you to fuck off," Dean threatened with no real weight behind the words. "So...you seen him? He okay?"

"Cassie? The four billion year old emo teenager in a middle aged, midlife crisis trenchcoat? He's been staying with me. And he's far from okay. But he's functional."

"Why didn't he come find me?"

Gabriel chuckled but there was a darkness in it. "Gee...I dunno. He professed his feelings for the only person he's ever loved, thinking he'd never have to live to hear the rejection, then suddenly you're invited to the same party? I had to hold him back from kicking in your door."

[themotherlobehq]

Summarizing the coping mechanisms of the Psychic Seven. I’m warning for canon mental trauma and self-harm behavior.

Ford - If we take away the metaphor of the Astralathe, I think this means he repressed his trauma both of the Deluge and of what he did to Lucy and Augustus not only to hide this secret, but also because he couldn’t deal with the guilt. I would also suggest it was a form of self-harm.

Bob - Alcohol abuse to numb the pain, self-isolation, and self-loathing directed at Bob as a person to push himself further into isolation.

Cassie - Compartmentalizing her feelings as to avoid dealing with them, self-isolation as well as other avoidance behavior. Feels the obsessive need to keep up a strict schedule in one specific behavior that she hopes will lead to Ford returning and fixing things for her, but which mostly serves as an orderly, controlled place for her to exist, but which her anxieties won’t let her leave.

Compton - Self-isolation, both as a side-effect to his stress making his telepathy go out of control and to escape his environment’s supposed judgement of him. He projects his self-blame and self-loathing outwards. Compared to Bob, Compton directs his feeling at his skills, which he equals to his worth or lack thereof.

Helmut - I take the ‘quiet place’ as a form of self-isolation (notice the trend) as well as representing emotionally shutting down, because the ‘void’ is implied to represent Helmut’s loss of identity and memories over time.

Lucrecia - Lashing out, then repressing memories. Her mental world makes me believe that a big part of Lucy’s mind wanted to forget what she had done, especially because of Marona. Not that she was in the right mental headspace to consent to Ford’s idea - and his idea was a horrible solution - but I think she was more active in the decision than the game portrays. Also, with the Astralathe, I got the feeling that the person has to want those changes for them to work. (And even then, they’re temporary.)

Otto - I speculate about Otto because his is the only mind of the Psychic Seven Razputin doesn’t enter. I like the headcanon that he grieves differently from how most people expect it, so they don’t notice. He seems fine to them. Rather, he processes internally as some of his inventions seem to suggest.

I think he also ignores his trauma - not repress, because he remembers the Deluge - and rather focuses on the Psychonauts. His behavior, expressions, and tone when he eagerly suggests to sell mini-Astralathes at the game’s ending are remarkably similar to Hollis at the game’s beginning when her mind was changed on the idea ‘money - risk’. Both get stuck on an obviously bad idea to gain money for the organization they’ve dedicated themselves to help.

(A short note on Hollis: The game implies that she had a past gambling addiction. That and her behavior in the casino suggest that she saw gambling for the jackpot as the solution to all of her problems in the past - was she struggling financially?-, which is why she’s so susceptible to the idea in the present. It’s an old maladaptive coping mechanism plus an addiction.)

What is going on with Otto, who knows the damage the Astralathe can cause and which could spell trouble for the Psychonaut if used by civilians, yet is convinced of his idea? Is he bottling up his stress, in a different form, like Hollis did? So Otto might now be susceptible to a Bad Idea because he’s so desperate to save the Psychonauts?

[cant-think-of-anything]

I think part of the reason that there’s such a dissonance between what kind of character Matthew is ~supposed~ to have and what kind of poor traits shine through, especially in his treatment of Alastair, is not just because of CC’s poor handling of alcoholism (and, in my opinion, mental health issues and depression) but also because: Our first introduction to these characters happened a long ways before some major changes to TLH.

Namely… Alastair and Cordelia were basically white in CC’s original planning. There’s just no way around that. Their flower cards, where they’re not just whitewashed but purely white, prove that (and they STILL haven’t been updated, by the way.)

Also, Alastair’s hair: in CoG it was dyed blond, and CC wrote it off implicitly as a racism thing when she decided he was Persian (which I guess happened after the short story where we met Alastair and before TLH) , which would have been fine it if it was an arc written better. Except, I don’t think she realized that it would make Matthew’s comments about Alastair inherently and obviously racist, being a white author. And I doubt that it will be dealt with and named or even acknowledged outright in the final TLH installment.

Kind of the same thing with Cordelia. I’m not saying POC can’t have like red hair because obviously POC don’t come in a prepackaged set of five or six traits that are all configured randomly, but something has always rubbed me the wrong way about the way that CC writes the majority of her POC and especially WOC as exotic. I mean, Kamala as a character is to me a special favorite (even though CC did her dirty and didn’t do a good job portraying her character or intersectional identity) but I rolled my eyes so hard when she had lighter brown or “amber” eyes in canon or officially commissioned art. With Cordelia, I know CC once said she uses henna to redden her hair which is great for her, and I guess I have less of a bone to pick with that because it’s semi(?) realistic, but still. Also the fact that so much of her description as a beautiful person comes from her hair. Again that’s cool, and women of color should be loved wholly including being loved for the parts of them that they freely change (such as Cordelia’s hair) but… the proportion of the fixation on her hair as what makes her lovely rubs me the wrong way sometimes. I feel like it’s sometimes an out from CC making the ~scandalous~ decision that a woman of color can be beautiful because of the traits she is born with. Idk it’s just for me I had this long standing repulsion towards my colorings and my facial structure and white girls would tell me I was whiny about it and then I finally began to piece together things like “Eurocentric beauty standards.”

Going on a tangent slightly, but something else that bothered me was when Anna insulted Cordelia after buying her those dresses and everyone kinda treating it as a compliment? And just cause Cordelia, a fictional teenager, didn’t get mad about it doesn’t mean readers of color can’t see the underlying racism behind “Cordelia looks MUCH better in these dresses which are SUITED for her skin tone.”

I think that narrative could have been handled much better: if it was Cordelia picking out her own clothes as an act of maturity and self-realization and ownership, if Cordelia herself said (in a different way lol) “Damn right I can wear lavender ruffles if I want to and crimp my hair but I’m not going to let white fashion prevent me from outshining everyone because dark skinned women INVENTED jewel tones.” And I think some people will argue that Cordelia’s context makes this too self aware of a development but I would say that it would have been a powerful part of her development outside of her relationships, especially considering that she’s supposed to be a main protagonist. Full arcs for the win baby!

But even aside from all that what bothered me about Anna’s dresses was the fact that it was a white woman showing the “truth” or the “right way” or “saving” a woman of color, a trope which I don’t think CC intended but committed nonetheless. I think from a white author POV the thinking was “Anna is such a free bohemian who lives true to herself and she’s going to help Cordelia become that way too,” which irks me because I feel like that just worked against CC in terms of POC rep and also because that same ideology is used in an attempt to make Anna’s treatment of Kamala justified even though Anna as an out person, with racial and economic privilege and the support of an extensive and powerful family network, pressured and tormented Kamala into coming out.

I have a lot of thoughts on that relationship, mainly: it shouldn’t have been dragged out this long because from the beginning, Every Exquisite Thing, it was clear they were looking for different things. And if CC had left it at that and let them go on their separate ways after a week of knowing each other that would have been fine: Kamala can’t do an out and proud relationship and Anna doesn’t want secrecy, so they’ll develop on their own. And then later Kamala’s pursuit of Anna in the actual TLH books was I think meant to be a thing about “the lengths you’ll go for true love” but it felt forced. Honestly… It just feels icky. like this woman of color is just so hung up on this white woman who abuses her repeatedly and can’t handle her own misogyny and internalizations. And I hate that because both had such awesome potential! To me it’s less that I dislike Anna ( I’d need a whole other post to explain that) and more that I dislike CC for wanting so bad to claim sapphic rep but not wanting to put in the effort to portray it effectively- and pretty much all that entails is writing the relationship without acting like it exists in a pseudo-vacuum where the history and realities of interracial relationships and queerphobia don’t exist in the way we obviously recognize and experience.

And characters like Cordelia and Alastair are amazing and have so much potential; I think the true origin of the problems with their portrayal is that they weren’t really intended as POC or even queer representation in the first place. I don’t know if Cassie would have taken a different approach to her characterization had she known Alastair would be a brown gay man when she first introduced him, but I hope it would have at least made her more conscientious of the inherent application of colonialism and racism in her storytelling from that point onward.

I want to finally add that I’m not saying any portrayal of racism is bad. I’m saying that the racism in the story is not part of a conscious framework that critiques racism appropriately. I think CC wrote the beginnings of the narrative, decided she was going to develop the diversity point content, and then either didn’t look back at the older content to analyze it and the other (white characters) through a new lens of race and outsiderness and queer personhood, or she looked at it and didn’t know what to do with it, or looked at it and didn’t care.

Sorry this got so long! Thanks for listening.

- A.

I feel like CC handled everything poorly in regards to characters who had a lot of potential.

The fact that Cordelia and Alastair are both originally white and it's so obvious in the way every bit of racism is handled by the characters. Matthew's comments in CLS are very important and they should've been handled with the same severity that Alastair's words were. CC changing the characters to POC was a big decision and when she did so she should've went back and actually read her own material. I can assure you that it will not be handled in CHOT, my expectations for CC recognizing the importance and gravity in the words she writes regarding racism or any of her "implied racism" bullshit have gone to the ground.

Because while golden eyes are obviously so easy to write when discussing discrimination obviously racism is out of the question /j

THAT'S EXACTLY IT, women of color in these books are so pathetically rare that on the rare occurrence that she does write them they should all be given these features that aren't as common in POC and written as more beautiful because of those features. I read CHOG after I became more appreciative of my ethnic features but if I had read this a year or so ago? Or even if I had read it after just feeling insecure in general? It would've been awful. The implication is that the lighter features in POC are the most beautiful, with Cordelia's red hair being put on a higher pedestal than her dark eyes and Kamala's eyes being focused on more than her hair (because I literally went back and counted the numbers to prove it and it's exactly what happens.)

I'm sure Cordelia's hair is stunning, but it's the way that when she's described (or more accurately being sexualized) it is just her hair and body that is shown, not the color of her skin or the color of her eyes.

God the pastel thing pisses me off so much. It's not even that Anna tells Cordelia that she would look better in darker colors it's that she says it suits her skin tone. Implying that anyone with brown skin should be barred from wearing pastels. And Kamala? In the few times she is described, she's wearing dark colors or champagne gold, never light blue or purple or pink WHICH HONESTLY SUITS HER PERSONALITY. It's also the way that the dresses Anna sent her are described to be more revealing- it's weird. Anna barely knew her when she started dictating everything that Cordelia could put on her body.

“Damn right I can wear lavender ruffles if I want to and crimp my hair but I’m not going to let white fashion prevent me from outshining everyone because dark skinned women INVENTED jewel tones.”

I literally would have loved that. It recognizes that she doesn't need to follow these "rules" on what to wear but still shows her choosing what she wants to wear without making all the darker skinned readers feel like they can't wear a certain color.

I think what some people fail to realize is that these books are also aimed at upper elementary and middle school and a middle schooler with dark skin reading something like that? In a book with characters they love? It's going to be so harmful

Someone else mentioned that CC said Kamanna's relationship was complicated because Kamala didn't defend Anna: Defend her FROM WHAT? Literally what is there to threaten Anna?

These books are filled with tokenism and then praised for it. The idea of Kamala X Anna has so much potential but they're portrayed in such a toxic way. Throughout the last through books Kamala puts herself through so much guilt and regret and turmoil just for Anna to literally use her, blame her, and cast her aside. And it's so fucking annoying because it pushes this idea that this woman of color who was terrified and in an extremely vulnerable position is in the wrong for choosing her safety and presents them as guilty and shameful for doing such a thing.

I would disagree, the portrayal of racism is bad, because it is used at random points in the story and never brought up again, if you interduce racism take it seriously it's not the kind of thing you're meant to half-ass in a book thousands of people will read

I agree on everything else though, so much of these books are incredibly harmful and they are presented to a young audience so it's overall just a gross situation

Thank you for the ask though! I loved answering this, if you ever have anything else you're more than welcome to come back <3

[reckless--optimist]

I’m bitter about Twitter and various entertainment news spoiling Euphoria for me every week so now that I’m watching it basically live I have no place to express feelings so hello welcome back to 2012. I’m just “livetweeting” here so spoilers are likely, but context is not.

FAYE YOU ABSOLUTE BABE I LOVE YOU. PROTECT MY BOYS.

I feel like Ash is an alternate timeline Shane Botwin. My little murder dude gotta protect his family.

Fez and Lexi are the cutest.

Can someone please slap Cassie then give her a massive hug. She needs it but also she needs to not hurt anyone else.

So I could obviously tell everyone was right about Kat’s screen time being basically none but I didnt and still don’t feel like her story this season betrays her. It feels awful to not feel the way you want to feel about someone, especially when that person feels so strongly. But her “role” in the play and now her “actor” did have a line that was literally nothing but useless comedic relief and I am mad.

I’m also mad about the other girl in their friend group who has literally no story. Who is she? Why is she always there? Why don’t we get to know her?

I really wasn’t prepared for Lexi and Cassie’s mom to be my favorite character this season but I love her.

Do not make Rue fall for Eliot’s song. I mean, he’s not doing it to be manipulative or anything but he and Jules already hurt rue and themselves by getting together we don’t need him and rue to do the same thing. Let them be really really good friends. They both deserve a good friend.

Rue my sweet baby. I hope she gets a chance to fix her friendship with Lexi.

Oh no I wish Fez had been there to hear that. Oh my god no. Fez no. I hate that I hope Faye takes the blame for this. They must find a way out of this. Oh my god I didn’t mean ash needs to find a way. Faye do something for ash. Holy shit why did Ash just age like 10 years. He looks so grown up all of a sudden.

Why are they flashing between this and Nate? Oh my god is Nate going to kill Cal? I appreciate that Nate grabbed a cup instead of drinking the strangers vodka straight out of the bottle. That girl was definitely sat there like that for the feet people and I’m uncomfortable. Neither one of these men deserve redemption. Please don’t give it to them. Cal doesn’t get to ruin so many lives because he couldn’t live with publicly being gay. Nate doesn’t get to abuse and harass people because he had a shit father. Oh wait. Nate you could have done that without a gun. You still don’t get forgiveness for the things you’ve done but at least you’re doing better things for now.

Oh god now back to fez. I don’t think Fez dies or gets arrested because Maude mentioned Fexi season 3. I hope they don’t kill Faye because she is a precious cinnamon roll who doesn’t deserve that. I’m worried for Ash but a lot of shows don’t kill kids. Best case scenario I think is that Ash gets arrested but with it being a murder (or technically 2) I think he would still be punished as an adult which would ruin his life but he’d be alive and Fez would have a good excuse to get out of the drug business for good.

Holy shit ash baby no. Oh my god Fez got shot. No. I don’t like that his card for Lexi fell like that. I’ve been telling myself all day this would be as bad as I feared but wow I think I was wrong. No.

No.

No.

No…

This is not a good episode for someone who hasn’t received a real hug in months.

Is Fez’s grandma going to die without them? Don’t make him lose all his family.

Awww yay Rue and Lexi!!!

Out of everything that’s happened so far “do you ever get angry about it” is the line that turned me into a sobbing mess. Guess what. Grief isn’t linear. You’d think I’d know that after 15 years.

You gotta give all this shit a reason. While Rue’s intervention episode was powerful, this episode is really hitting the hardest since Rue’s special. It’s not in the drama, it’s in the reflection.

They broke their timeline with the play and it feels sloppy and confusing. They are too good for that. It doesn’t make sense for that conversation to have been in the play when she’s literally there because of the play.

I know Rue and Jules are like the backbone of the show to everyone but like don’t rush a weird reunion in the last few minutes. Ughhhh.

Okay, Jules shouldn’t have started with “I love you” even if she just meant friend love. I care about you and miss you would have said the same line without throwing Rue’s hurt feelings right back in her face. But wow I am so proud of Rue.

This end monologue is making me nervous.

A beautiful season.

Wait. Euphoria is loosely based on an Israeli show? That’s so cool.

Eagerly awaiting season 3 and hoping we hear about big improvements to how everyone gets treated on set.

[carstairs-supremacy]

My opinion with Alastair (this is quite long because he deserves my effort)

Tw/ mentions of alcohol, bullying and suggested child neglect/abuse

Okay so Alastair was brought up in a household where he had to constantly look after his drunk father, who could have done anything to him or said anything to him whilst drunk. He also had to keep this a secret from his sister (I think Cassie said somewhere Sona doesn’t know the extent to what Elias did pls correct me if I’m wrong) which can’t have been easy for him.

He was then forced to go to the academy full of white privileged boys by his father. Then at the academy, already dealing with so much at home, he was bullied and beat up within the FIRST WEEK of being there and had to endure that for a whole ass year (I highly doubt that the first week was the last time he got beaten up). He was probably alone for this year of being tormented, and then the only way he could make friends was being awful to other students. He did what he had to survive, although that doesn’t excuse anything he did it still explains it. And bare in mind he’s like 14/15 years old when this was happening.

Then the Merry thieves come to the academy (this is no slander to them cuz I love them with my whole heart) and they’re loved by everyone. He starts picking on them and being awful to them- but there was also the others (Augustus and Clive from what I remember) then one of his close friends died due to a ‘prank’ gone wrong. As soon as he died, Thomas was one of the only people to check on Alastair by the way, the academy blew up and Matthew directed him to that part, which could have caused him to be hurt.

Then the rumour, I don’t know if this was before or after everyone’s parents came but his, but Matthew was there insulting his looks which has been insecure about (as Cordelia said to Anna ‘he hates that his hair and eyes are dark’) (Also Matthew couldn’t have known this but this isn’t a post to slander Matthew), so he said a thing to hurt him more, which ended up badly. He felt bad as soon as he said it, but he still said it anyway because so much has happened in that one day.

Then in Paris- maybe before- he was in this toxic relationship with Charles, who doesn’t seem to care as much for Alastair than Alastair does for him. Alastair was in love with Charles when it didn’t seem like Charles was that deep for him or being ashamed to be with him (not going sight seeing, basically staying cramped up in the institute). He was so in love with him that he would talk about him to Thomas, and Charles didn’t appreciate him enough so he got engaged TWICE while they were together, something Alastair opening dislikes and is hurt by. Now I could go on and on about how Charles treated Alastair badly and how he hurt him ( the whole scene where Cordelia eves drops says everything).

So he finally breaks up with Charles, and now is trying to make up with the people who he hurt. At this point I think this is where his feelings for Thomas were already there (from him looking away from Thomas’ tattoo and how in Paris he saw him as beautiful), then the rumour gets brought up and Thomas is-rightfully- angry and threatens him if he ever talks to him again. This is the first time we actually see Alastair crying.

To make it worse, his father comes back after 4 months and is still an alcoholic and he was to look after him, again, and after the scene with the wedding reception where he’s with James, he send him off and says that him and his friends are gonna ‘laugh about it later’. Now we don’t see what his home life is like during this time as Cordelia is with James in their home, but we have no reason to believe it has changed from before. So in a way, he’s right back to square one (until Elias dies obviously).

When he’s locked in the Sanctuary with Thomas, it seems hard for him to open up to him but he does it anyway, and Thomas seems to forgive him (I mean he kisses him). These scenes are one of the only times we see Alastair smile and be genuinely happy. But then he breaks it off with Thomas before anything could happen because- in my opinion- he feels as if he is a bad thing for Thomas and doesn’t deserve his love. He also doesn’t want Thomas to chose and he doesn’t even feel like a worthy option.

Anyway he’s been through so much and I wanna see atleast one person (Cordelia or Thomas) stand up for him or even better stand up for himself. And I also want him to forgive himself and just accept the love Thomas is offering.

[shhhhsh]

About Tim’s New Story….

I just really hope they address Tim’s mental health. Like, DC just been ditching really good plot lines in favor of being “woke” or pandering. Just look at all the live action shows.

Now I’m not saying they can’t make Tim queer/bi/gay, but (as someone pointed out to me) Tim’s previous story writer was bi and he still chose to write Tim as straight & in a healthy romantic relationship with Stephanie Brown. I’ve seen several people who identify as queer/bi say that to have Tim go “ ooooh I’ve fooled myself into thinking I was straight, but now I’m freeeee” sends the message that Tim’s previous relationship failed b/c he was with a woman and not because of Tim’s poor mental and emotional health.

To go back to my previous statement; by him not writing Tim as bi tells me that he didn’t want or care for Tim to be bi, but instead saw Tim as, or preferred him to be, straight. The writer had free control to write Tim how ever he wanted and yet he chose to keep Tim straight. And he actually liked & wanted Tim/Steph. Again, I’m not saying Tim can’t be queer/bi, I’m just saying I find the motivations for this possible change very fishy. Almost as if the new writer is trying to get brownie points for pandering to a portion of the fans.

I think this way b/c in every other media where a character is revealed to be LGBTQ they just did it. They didn’t beat around the bush or do any queer coding/baiting. They either announced it, just made the character that way right out the gate, or just dropped the bomb w/out warning (as seen in Netflix’s Voltron, Amazon Prime’s Invincible, and Nickelodeon’s Legend of Korra respectfully).

DC currently has a bad habit changing things to be “woke” and bragging about it or shoving it in our faces. DC is becoming the “pick me girl” of superhero media. If you want to do it, just do it. Again I just get the “look at me, look at me” & “carrot on the stick” vibes from them now. If you truly feel in your heart to do something you would just do it without the need for recognition or to be so dramatic about it.

Now what I much rather see & think it’s a natural progression for Tim:

I personally believe that if Jason, Dick, & Damian can get a story that attempts to give them character development beyond romantic relationships (romance was more of a B-plot to the character driven A-plot anyway) I think they can give it to Tim as well.

I know that the Bat-Family all struggle with some form of mental health problems (most commonly paranoia and PTSD). However, I would like to point out that trauma is was what brought the others into the vigilante lifestyle, while Tim & Barbara became traumatized because of the vigilante lifestyle. Yet, Barbara was shown overcoming her trauma and using it as motivation to get better. Tim is yet to have this moment.

We all know that Tim struggles with depression, self-esteem, and suicidal tendencies. I mean heck, him becoming Red Robin only happens because of Tim’s degrading mental health. I hate to say it, but Tim is very psychologically broken and has been show to get so depressed that he can’t even get out of bed some times. To my knowledge, Tim is the only one in the Bat-Fam that struggles in his head with the idea of not being needed, useful, or forgotten when in reality that is furthest from the truth (Steph, Jason, & Damian also feel like the black sheep periodically, but that is because they have been presented with real evidence that would lead them to logically believe this. I.e being actually forgotten or dismissed for past mistakes despite great efforts to better themselves).

While yes, Dick did Tim dirty by replacing him without having a proper conversation first, the motivation was because he saw Tim as his equal and not Damian. He thought highly of Tim, but Tim couldn’t see that over his offense. Tim is so beat down by life that he see’s everything with negative lenses. Everyone came to check on Tim’s mental health but Tim took it as an insult instead.

And even though now Tim has reached some form of “peace” in his life, that only happens because the people he lost came back (Bruce, Conner, Bart, Cassie, etc). Tim never fully learned to handle grief, to handle his emotions, instead he represses them. Again in the Red Robin run, the main reason he doesn’t believe in any form of God is because he can’t logically justify the pain he has gone through. He is hurting and doesn’t know how to deal with that. In his original Robin run, when he tried talking someone out of committing suicide……the words and comfort he gave….that wasn’t something that was just inside Tim, this is something that was told to Tim. This is followed by him calling Dick to get the same pep-talk he just regurgitated to someone else.

In short: Tim is hurting. Deeply. And having been someone who’s emotional & mental sanity was pushed to the brink and attempted to jump off several times, I think it’s really sad that DC just ignores it. Now as someone who’s gotten the help they needed & now helps other people who struggle with the same issues as myself & Tim, I think that they’re going to say a lot of Tim’s problems come from him not being “aware” of his own sexuality, which is just sad.

In the story in question, Barbara talks about Tim not having a solid identity. People are more than their sexuality. People are capable of making future decisions for themselves without it hindering on their sexuality. If Tim was real, I would brake down his struggle as so:

Tim refuses to go to college and do something more with his life because he cannot see anything beyond his current circumstance. And the only reason why Tim cannot see anything beyond his circumstance is because he has no internal sense of purpose, identity, and acceptance beyond the cape & cowl. And when Tim finally found that in being Robin, Tim held onto it as a lifeline. There’s a reason why everyone says Tim is basically Bruce 2.0: it’s because he is Robin/Red Robin/Drake & Tim is the mask. At a young age, he did not grow up having these things instilled into him due to his parents neglecting him at a very important age in his development. Tim raised himself, and for a lack of better terms; an idiot cannot teach themselves to be smarter, an idiot becomes smarter by learning from the intelligent. A child can’t teach themselves to be an adult, they have to learn from others to grow & better themselves.

Now a parent doesn’t necessarily have to sit down and give a lesson about how to be an individual, but children learn how to live life by watching their parents. A good example of this is the rest of the Bat-Fam; they all grew up with some form of parental figures that taught them how to behave (for better or worse). Of course children have their own personalities, which is why two kids can go through the same type of trauma but come out differently, but it is a battle of nature vs nurture. Steph, Jason, Cass, & Damian grew up in abusive/unstable homes, while Dick, Barbara, & Bruce grew up in loving homes, but their personalities & character dictated how they responded to trauma. They took what life gave them and decided what to leave or take.

Tim had nothing to work with & is basically playing catch-up with the rest of his peers.

In a weird sense, Tim is like Zuko from The Last Airbender: only living to serve their father’s purpose. Anything outside of that they don’t know what to do. They’ve been trained to be something externally without been given a chance to figure out who they are internally.

Again you are not your sexuality, your sexuality does not determine who you are as a person. When a person struggles through life, it is due to the conditions of thier soul. Everything starts internally and shows it’s self externally.

I want to make that very clear because I am truly scared that in DC’s attempt to claim “clout” they are missing the bigger picture. Tim doesn’t have identity problems simply because he “doesn’t know” he likes boys, but because DC never gave him is own identity to begin with. Robin was never his own identity, Red Robin was never his, & Drake was his first attempt to make his own but he quickly gave it up so that he can be Robin once again. What is Tim going to do once Damian gets back? Is Damian going to get his own identity before Tim? Or is Tim just going to go back to one of his old identities?

I would like for Tim to personally move on from being a vigilante and rejoin civilian society for a while. Go to college, do something for himself and only for himself. Give Tim the self-discovery story, let him heal, and grown to be his own person. Besides you can never have a functional romantic relationship if you are not a functional individual. Self love > romantic love.

[kinsey3furry300]

5 ships I hate, why I hate them, how to (kinda) fix them, the better ships you should be doing in that universe, and why you should ignore me and keep writing them if it makes you happy.

Note: this is done for amusement, please don’t be offended; I’m not attacking your ship, I’m just listing some ships I do not always care for, and how I think they could be improved, and maybe made brilliant, by clever writing.

In no particular order, and focusing on ships that often annoy me, with no attempt by me to say anything meaningful or popular about the current state of any particular fandom. I’m also a firm believer in the idea that there’s no such thing as a bad ship, only a badly executed ship, so my objections to these is less a dislike of shipping, or the paring, and more that they raise writing issues that I think are difficult to fix in a satisfying way. That’s why in a lot of the examples below I prefer AU ships to ones that try to messily work it into the cannon. Anyway, enjoy... I guess?

 Marco x / anyone (Animorphs)

Why I hate it: Animrophs is an intensely character-driven story, where the tension of each book comes from the conflicts, external and internal, that the five Animrophs (and Ax) face during a long, hard, traumatic war.  And while several of the character are paired off romantically, it’s always to emphasise character conflict over their different points of view. Jake and Cassie are a pair because Jake’s struggle with having to make hard, grey, morally ambiguous choices as leader is highlighted by Cassie’s burning need to make the right choice, the lesser evil, the choice that leaves some small shred of humanity and dignity and kindness left in this bleak world. Tobias and Rachel are a pair as their arcs deal with literal and figurative loss of humanity, as the slow accumulation of trauma over time turns these happy(ish), normal kids into psychologically ruined husks of their former selves and destroys them slowly, one fight at a time.

Marco’s arc, isn’t about either of these things: Marco’s arc, is about the bright, clear line between A and B, between problem and solution. Marco is a utilitarian, a pragmatist: his concern isn’t the burden of leadership, or the cost of the decision, but about how to put that all aside and make hard decisions that actually work regardless of cost. It’s not about what to do, the path is obvious: the bright, clear line of ruthless logic, but how to do it. His match, his counterpoint, the other character who’s all about the logic of taking awful decision in a way that actually works for the team, and his foil, his female counterpart in this, is not a romantic partner, but his mother: Visser one, making the exact same hard, difficulty ruthless decisions using logic and maths, but for the other side of this war. A romantic paring gets in the way of this arc because a partner doesn’t help him with that bright, clear line, and worse, any attempt to pair him of with either Rachel or Cassie breaks up not only a cannon paring, but their respective character arc.

How to (kinda) fix this: Marco’s arc is, at the end of the day, a trolly problem. So make sure whoever you ship him with is one of the people tied to the tracks. Introduce a character he crushes on, and then in the second act reveal that they are either a Controller, or in the family of a Controller or the proximity of the target of their next mission in a way that will make them collateral damage ,and let Marco struggle with what happens when that bright, clear logical line from A to B cuts through someone he actually loves; you know, like it did with his mother. See, even trying to fix this ship is weirdly Freudian.

The far better ship you should be doing: Ax x / EVERYONE. Ax in human form is described as a worryingly pretty, worryingly androgynous male of indeterminate race. He is a literally Bishonen alien hedonist with no familiarity with human senses, poor impulse control in human form, and no knowledge or understanding of human courtship rituals, and he can shape-shift, including into other members of the core team if needed to compel a mission, he calls Jake his prince,  and he is incredibly close to Tobias, the lonely outcast woobie that the LGBT fans adopted as their poster boy. Come on, the potential for shipping, both with wacky hijinks and sad, tragic star-crossed lovers’ trope is endless. Every line dedicated to Marco shipping is a line of text that could be dedicated to Ax trying to eat a Cinnabon erotically on his first date as a human and hulking out mid way because he forgot just how good they are. What could be better than him leaning into to erotically kiss a team-mate, and then fucking up due to his failure to understand human mouths, making weird mouth sounds, and then licking crumbs of the table in the middle of the mall, in front of the entire school, while his crush awkwardly tried to pretend this is normal? What’s wrong with you Marco-shipper people, do you hate fun?

 Riz/Tem (beastars) Why I hate this ship: Okay, just to quickly ask a question, to people who un-ironically like this as a serious ship and not a dark joke, just one little question: What’s wrong with you? I mean,are you okay? Keep taking the meds: the show is VERY clear on that point.

It’s like those people who say Joker X Harley Quinn is their ideal dark, edgy relationship: no it’s not, it’s abusive! Morticia x Gomez is dark and cool but CONSENTUAL and HEALTHY. This… this is a deeply imbalanced person murdering someone and telling themselves after that fact it was special and rare and magical. ITS HOMICIDE! And even if you write that out (and you shouldn’t, because that changes the character arc of every other major character) it’s still got more red flags that a soviet military parade. This is the botulinum of a toxic, one-sided teenage infatuation. Riz’s entire arc is about how he projects his thoughts and feelings about himself onto this idealised, made-up version of his and Tem’s relationship which, from Tem’s point of view, never existed. Riz never loved Tem: he loved the idea of Tem, the idea that someone would see the real him, see his inner pain and accept him anyway, but he never once told Tem this. He didn’t warn him “Hey, because of you I don’t feel I need my meds any more, do you mind if I try not taking them and we can meet and talk about this in a safe, well-lit pace?” He’s not honest with Tem, and on top of that It doesn’t make sense from the point of view of either of the characters for them to be actually, romantically in love (although  they were clearly close friends), because it undermines and cheepens Riz desire to just be seen and accepted for his real self, and the cannon Tem X Els ship. It also doesn’t make sense from a story point of view: Riz is a shadow archetype for Legosi. He’s what Legosi would have become if someone hadn’t interrupted his attack on Haru. That’s why Legosi needs to beat Riz with his own hands: because then he’s beating the darker version of himself he’s been carrying with him, and he can finally move on with Haru guilt-free. Having Riz and Tem’s relationship actually be what Riz imagined it to be undoes that. It undoes Riz’s interesting, dark inner struggle between truth and fantasy, it turns Tem’s tragic, unsolved murder that sets the entire story in motion into a just sort of weird Romeo-and Juliet suicide. It’s ruins the character arc not only for Riz, but for Legosi, and also, by extension, Louis and Haru, because Legosi’s internal angst over whether or not herbivores and carnivores can have a relationship as true friends needs this example of a tragic, flawed, toxic, failed friendship to bounce off of.

How it could (sort of) work: an AU where Riz’s attack on Tem is interrupted and Tem lives with a slight arm injury, and doesn’t tell anyone out of his complex feelings for Riz. Meanwhile, that bunny girl from the gardening club had been brutally devoured and Rz and/or Tem are so horrified with how close this was to their own near-miss, they start to investigate the murder, and in doing so get caught up in Louis’ inner struggle. Because that’s how the story needs to work, it’s about duality and struggle: and if Riz takes Legosi’s role, and by dating a herbivore he de facto takes the role, so Legosi must take Riz’s. This could be a great AU!

The better ship you should be doing: Pina/Riz (with a dash of Pina x Els), no, seriously, I’m not shitposting. You want to give Riz a redemption arc with a cute woolly boy? How about a story where Pina, out of a need for closure about at happened to him, starts to visit Riz in jail and they talk, mockingly at first, confrontational at first, but later Pina slowly becoming more fascinated in Riz and Tem’s life and asking Riz for more and more detail until they both bond over their shared traumatic experiences and their sense of loss for Tem’s senseless death, Tem’s unfished life casting a shadow over both off them. Eventually, the two of them find, from Legosi who still has the diary, that Tem had planned out an elaborate and beautiful first date with Els that he never got to take her on, and Riz, guilt ridden and sad than Tem never got this beautiful moment, decides to ask Pina take her on that date for Tem, with Riz coaching him by phone cyano-de-Bergerac style, Riz finally getting some closure that he helped one of Tem’s wishes come true and finally acknowledging to himself that Tem had a life and loves outside of him that were cut of short by his actions, and just crying over his lost friend, as Pina and Els slow-dance in Tem memory. Or if you just want to see Tem awkwardly date a carnivore boy from school, why not something less creepy and more wholesome and ship him with Jack? That would be cute AF, and more importantly, not romanticize brutal murder. Or an AU where everything is happy and nice, I’d argue at that it’s no longer Beastars at that point, but if it makes you happy, go for it. Let’s not shame anyone here.

 Snape X Lilly (Harry Potter)

Why I hate this ship: honestly, it’s not for the reason you think; I just like Snape too much as a tragic character, and making him in any way happy destroys his arc in my opinion.  The objection’s others have raised: that Snape acts in a worryingly possessive stalker-ish way towards Lilly, and that if Voldemort had gone for Nevil rather than Harry as a child Snape would have remained a loyal death eater, are true and I acknowledge them as having some validity, but that’s not why I can’t stand this ship. Snape is supposed to be a morally and emotionally complex, tragic figure. That “After all this time?” line was the best line in the Deathly Hallows.  Snape is supposed to show the equality destructive and redemptive power of  love. It’s sort of trinity: Lilly shows the pure power of true, unconditional love in her sacrifice to save Harry, Voldy shows what self-destruction and cruelty a life without understanding love leads to, and Snape sits somewhere in the middle: his one-sided  un-requited love being both the cause of his darkest, and his greatest actions. His curse, and his redemption, fall and rise. Making him happy messes that up.

How to (kinda) fix this ship: make them miserable. Make them fall for each-other only to be pulled apart by circumstance (you know, like they were in the darn original source material). You’re serious about making this a tragic, dark romance? Don’t ship them when they’re at school: Ship them during Voldemort’s rise to power, in the 80’s, after Lilly is married. Have the original Order of the Phoenix send her to meet with Snape and use their previous relation to try to milk some information out of him. Have her feel conflicted about it, have James furious about it, but have her do it anyway for the greater good. Have her meet up secretly with Snape who is angry and distrustful, knowing his must be a trap, and talk. Have the relationship slowly build over time against the backdrop of a cold-war spy thriller, as Lilly slowly realizes that she has some lingering feelings for Snape, but can’t reconcile them her loyalty to the order and her family. Make this a love story of conflicted feelings, divided loyalties, and spy-work against the background of drawing war-clouds. Have Snape offer to leave Voldemort, if she’ll leave the Order, and run away with him, but by that point she knows she’s pregnant and chooses to stay, out of loyalty even though she’s crushing on Snape. Have him show up at the rendezvous expecting for her to be there only for James to lead an Order Ambush, and a fight to ensure, on top of Tower Bridge in the howling wind and rain, Snape surviving but having his spirit crushed and fleeing before Lilly can tell him her true feelings. Make it big, and melodramatic, but above all, make it tragic.  Because that’s the only way Snape works as a character. Always.

The better ship you should be doing: Ginny X Nevil or Luna x Nevil: You want tragic lovers, at school, with divided loyalties, who never get together in the main cannon because a Potter ruins it and gets the girl? Ginny X Nevil. Write what was happening that final year Harry wasn’t at school when they took Dumbledore’s Army and make it work in earnest. Heck, you could even have Snape, as headmaster, hated by them but secretly trying to protect them as a secondary character to their secret, forbidden love. You don’t want to break up Harry X Ginny? Luna X Nevil is sweet and wholesome, but also tragic as they never get a chance, having their school life taken over by the horror of that final year and the need to fight for their very souls in a school run by Death Eaters and the trauma of the Battle of Hogwarts meaning that in order to put away the past and move on, they need to leave each other behind. Hell, do an AU where they canonically end up together, why not? They deserve happiness.

 Dean / Sam AKA Wincest (Supernatural)

Why I hate this ship: They’re brothers. The show even makes a joke about how squick this is. Several times.

How you could (sort of) fix this ship: You can’t: They’re brothers. The show even makes a joke about how squick this is. I guess a body-swap arc could fix this, as it’s less squicky if its just their bodies with someone else’s minds,  but seriously, the reasons why this shouldn’t exist are extensively covered in the show, and it was hilarious.  To be honest, I don’t hate this ship done as a joke, but I have seen some dark spots on the internet, and I can say with all honesty it’s not always treated as a joke. Some folks are really invested in this, and all I can ask is, is your home life okay?

Now, done as a joke, I’m 110% behind this. This is exactly the sort of insane wacky bullshit that makes for a good crack-fic. For example imagine that the supernatural threat of the week was book that made anything written in it come true, and the brothers are trying to find and destroy it, but they keep getting distracted by their burgeoning romantic feelings for each-other, and suddenly realise that the owner of the book is a fan on the in-universe novels, and writing slash-fic in the book. They need to find the writer before they make them do something they’ll both regret, but it’s just so distracting when Sam’s beautiful eyes are right there and- dammit, Sam, it’s happening again! Make Sam less concerned and even a little amused, with it, but make Dean hate what’s going on. Especially when the writer’s description suddenly makes Sam noticeably better hung that him. Make the villain turn out to be Becky from “Sympathy for the devil” and end with them trying to take the book away as she writes frantically to force them to do her bidding, and you’ve got yourself a good fic.

The better ship you should be doing: Cas/Sam or Cas/Dean or Cas/Sam AND Dean fic. Duh. Once again the show-runners beat the fans to the mark and pointed out that this is the best ship, and then they took it away just to fuck with us.

 Any Katniss ship that ignores her obsession with Emotional Security Logic. (The Hunger Games)

Why I hate these ships: Katniss is, briefly put, a mess before the books ever start, her father’s death and harsh upbringing have arguably given her PTSD before she ever volunteers for the reaping, and it doesn’t get better from there.  In psychology, Emotional Security Theory (EST) is a hypothesis that the heightened emotions surrounding repeated violent exposures leaves children vulnerable to dysregulated distress responses and eventual psychopathology, aka, why Kat be so messed up.  Her internal monologue makes the books completely clear that her choice in partners is not motivated by normal affections, but by deep, deep fear. A fear of loss, abandonment and death that leads her to make every decision about what minimises her, and her sister’s, exposure to potential physical and emotional harm. It’s frantic, fraught, cold survivalist thinking. And the other characters in the book notice and acknowledge it! “Which of us will she pick?” “She’ll pick whoever she can’t survive without.” Kat doesn’t like herself for it, but she does eventually admit to herself that she makes her decisions like this.

How do we fix this ship: Ship Kat with whoever you like, but give her a good reason to pick them: and in Kat’s mind “A good reason” is based on Emotional Security Logic, she needs to have a pressing reason why this ship makes her and her sister safer. Do that, and you’ve got yourself a good Katniss story. Don’t do that, and while you may or may not have a good story, the person staring in it isn’t Katniss Everdeen anymore.

The better ship you should be writing: Finick X Annie. Or, Haymitch prequel ships

FinAnn. This, this ship has some real potential to it, and is criminally underutilized. Finick and Annie’s relationship is one of the most tragic and romantic in the story, and has so much to offer. Or, if you want to have a hard-bitten character from district 12 struggling with trying to find love in the hellish combat of the games, do a prequel in which Haymitch finds love in the capitol during training, but loses then in the area and turns to drink as a result. Heck, you could even have some fun with this and turn it into a dark comedy, or a great tragic love story, whatever you like. It’s got potential, and his backstory is vague enough you could do a lot with it.

So, tell me below why I’m wrong, and have fun with your writing: just because I hate that ship doesn’t mean you should. Enjoy yourselves.

I’m off to write awful Ax/Pina/Luna Polyjuice’d into Nevil/Cas/Finick fiction set at an anime high-school that fights a magical war against other fictional schools, and there’s nothing you can do to stop me. BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

[scre6m]

ALSO ALSO WANTED TO SAY. that was so shitty of kat :c you could’ve just said “I’m not into this, bye”

putting them tg so i just have to answer one kfkjd:

i want your thoughts on nate! as a character he’s rly confusing to me because i think he likes cassie, but loves maddy, and everything with jules just seems… out of place? or maybe it made sense to me before he started all of this with cassie. idk i felt like it Was kinda important but then it disappeared, and this new interaction with jules was just… i felt like it didn’t fit, it doesn’t make sense to me anymore. unless that was supposed to be the end of it?? (i would like to say i think his ideas about love are twisted i think, with how he treats everybody. and obvs in general he is just a shitty dude, but that scene w jules just threw me off!! so i wanna know your thoughts!!)((also do you think they’ll ever try to push nate/jules on us?? i will be Very Upset))

i fucking hate nate dfkjkjdg i agree that his sense of love and relationships and everything is fucked cos he’s traumatized by seeing his dad’s tapes and keeping that secret forever (he can still fucking die, i don’t feel bad for him at all cos those tapes didnt make him go and become an abusive pos) i don’t think he loves any of them tho? for him relationships are all about power, and i don’t really think there’s room for love when he’s using these girls to affirm some kind of dominance in himself. i’ve seen people theorize that the cassie/nate storyline was originally supposed to be jules/nate which i could see between that scene of jules in the club in 1x07 and the fact that jules fully thought she was in love with someone who was lying to her. am i sad that i don’t have to see that? honestly no, like it may make more sense narratively but keep jules away from that mankjdfkjdfkjdf. at this point i don’t really think he’s capable of love cos even his family he doesn’t have loving relationships with? and he has like no friends?? i rly hope they don’t try to go anywhere with nate and jules, and there’s rumors there’s personal reasons that storyline didn’t happen….idk if that’s true or if it rly matters cos i don’t want her with him regardless but would sam pull some shit like that? absolutely

and my poor girl kat…….her ONE scene last ep yeah what the fuck was that skskksks her character is barely in this season and when she is her only storyline is that her bf bores her so she handles it in the WORST WAY. i rly don’t get it i also don’t get why sam wouldn’t use that opportunity to show kat working through it and getting help from someone like her mom with the episode so focused on mother’s. like i had to sit thru nates mom laugh abt her son abusing his gf and that was a better use of time than giving us any insight into what’s going on in kats head? if there’s any truth to the rumors that he cut her scenes cos of some beef with barbie he rly is the biggest bitch ever

[jawritter]

Living With Regret

Summary: Death can be hard to deal with in any aspect, but when you’re in the life, it's something you deal with all to often, and carry with you until it's your turn to burn.

Warnings: Angst, Drinking, mentions of OC character death, swearing, hints of depression. I think that's it.

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Word Count: 2387

A/N: This is a Patreon Exclusive that I’m bringing to Tumblr as a way to celebrate the return of my electricity! LOL! Please do not copy my work! This fic is unbeta'd, so all mistakes are mine!! I hope you all enjoy this one!!

Want more? Check out my Masterlist! Not on Patreon yet? Check the link below and for just two bucks a month you can get exclusive stories and make request!

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The hunt was bad, very bad. You had lost a friend, another piece to the puzzle of your heart now gone permanently from you, leaving a new hole to form a hard callous over. You wondered ideally as you pulled your duffle off your shoulder, and dropped it onto your bed if you would ever get used to losing people, or would ever one hurt as bad as the first time?

You knew hunting was hard when you’d gotten into it, but how could you live in a world that monster existed in, and not try and fight back? To you that would have been just like rolling over and giving up. 

 When that Werewolf back in your hometown had killed your parents, you had readily joined the Winchesters. Much to Dean’s dismay, he would have rather you go on to try and live a normal life, but how were you supposed to do that after what had happened to you? Nothing had ever been fixed by anyone burying your head in the sand, and pretending that it didn’t exist in hopes it would all go away. 

You had been with the boys since John had died. So it was safe to say that you had been with them long enough to know that no matter how much you were hurting right now Dean was hurting that much worse. 

He didn’t know Ben very well, but he carried the same name as Lisa’s son. That alone had opened up some bad memories for Dean anyway. Tonight though, as you watched your friend’s body burn, you could see it in Dean’s eyes, regret. 

He didn’t open up very often to anyone. Dean had walls that would have made the architects of Jericho jealous. Marching around those bad boys for seven days wouldn’t have done shit, because you had been marching around them for years and to no avail. 

You had always carried a torch for the elder Winchester. Even though you weren’t dumb enough to tell him that. If Dean thought anyone was getting too close to him he’d push them away as a way of “keeping them safe,” because he believed that he had some target painted on his ass that would doom anyone he cared about. 

The two of you had somewhat of a “friends with benefits” arrangement that worked out well for the life that you lived, and you were determined that if that part of him was all you could have, then that would be enough.

Dean had two settings after a rough hunt, he’d either be in here tearing your clothes off, and using you as a way to erase some of the pain he felt for just a little while, or he’d shut down completely for days and not let anyone in. Looks like tonight was going to be the latter. 

You rummage around in your special stash of whiskey that you keep for special occasions, and a couple of tumblers before heading to Dean’s room. If Dean wanted to shut down and block everyone out then you knew the only way to stop it was to force your way in, well as far as you could anyway, and try to pull it out of him. 

Dean was the kind of guy that carried things with him. He never let it go. Never. He held onto things better than a nun with a grudge. He carried every loss, every mistake, every failure, and he would take it to his grave. You attributed that to John Winchester’s A+ parenting. 

Dean was always to be the perfect son and in turn the perfect soldier. Even though you know Dean as an adult now realized that John was nothing but a narcissistic, abusive asshole, he was his dad, and it still hurt, and he still carried the way he raised him. 

You didn’t bother knocking on the door of Dean’s room. It was cracked away. So you just pushed it open, and Dean barely even turned to look at you from his position on the bed with his headphones in place. You could faintly hear the classic rock music blaring through them. Probably hoping it would be loud enough to drown out whatever voices in his head that was screaming at him tonight. 

He pulled the headphones off with a sigh, and set them on his nightstand next to his bed, giving you a weak smile as he shoved over to give you sitting room, and taking one of the tumblers and the whiskey from your hand. 

“Spill Winchester?” you said, flopping down next to him dramatically, trying to keep this conversation as light as possible so that Dean wouldn’t just shut down, and stop talking. If you could even get him to start that is. 

Dean let out a long exasperated sigh as he poured a healthy three fingers to each glass. 

“Just… I don’t know. I guess I’m just tired tonight, sweetheart. I'll be fine in the morning.” Dean said, taking a generous drink from his glass. You stared at him with narrow eyes until he snorted a sarcastic laugh, and shook his head. “Okay, so you didn’t buy that then.” 

“How long have we known each other, De? I think I can tell when you're bullshitting me by now,” you state matter of factly, watching him closely as you take a sip of your drink.

Dean licked his lips before pulling his plump bottom lip between his perfect white teeth, eyes a thousand miles away from this room. 

“I guess I’m just tired of losing people, Y/N/N. I’m sorry I couldn’t be there fast enough to save Ben. I’m sorry you had to burn your friend’s body tonight.”

You watched him closely, knowing full well that wasn’t even a scratch on the surface of what was really going on with Dean. You had known him too long. You decided to play along anyway, and see if you could get him to open up to you a little.

“Dean, it’s part of the job. Ben knew the risk, and it didn’t matter how fast we got there it was too late. He drew the short straw. It could have easily been any one of us. At least now Ben can rest, at least now he doesn’t have to fight anymore.” 

You hoped you sounded convincing because right now you weren’t even sure about how much rest people got in death. You had killed enough ghosts and fought enough Demons to know that you didn’t always get a white robe, and a beach house on the shores of paradise when you died.

Dean nodded his head, and took a long drink from his glass, polishing it off, and refilling it before settling into his pillow that was propped against his headboard. His eyes looked distant and dark, and you knew that even if you got him to open up just a little tonight, it would scratch the surface of horrors Dean had seen in his life.

“I have lost so many people. Friends, family, other hunters that died way before their time like Ben. He would have been pretty close to Ben’s age by now, he may have been only a few years older than the Ben I knew.” 

Dean’s eyes shifted over to you carefully. You sat quietly and just waited for him to continue. Determined not to push him in any way.

“I will never not regret exposing them to this life, even if Cas did erase their memories,”  Dean said, shaking his head, and playing with the string on his sweatpants. 

“You mean because you still love Lisa?” you asked, mentally slapping yourself before for not keeping your mouth shut, and asking him something so personal. Dean chuckled at the shocked look on your face, knowing damn well you didn’t mean to say that.

“No, I never loved Lisa. She was… Comfort when I needed the distraction after Sam went to the cage. Then, when I found out Sam was back, she was a burden. She never supported me. No matter what I never fit into her perfect little Stepford husband, picture-perfect family. 

You must have had a shocked look on your face because Dean chuckled again into his glass before he refilled yours.  “Don’t look so shook, sweetheart.” 

“Sorry,” you mumbled, looking down at the brown liquor in your glass, and avoiding Dean’s watchful gaze.  

“I guess, I just always thought that you loved her because you told Sam to never bring her up again.” 

Dean nodded his head thoughtfully. “That was regret talking. I felt like shit because I felt like I ruined their lives. When I should have just left them alone. If I would have just left them alone, then Lisa wouldn't have gotten possessed, and almost died, and Bed would have maybe had a real dad.” 

You thought about that in silence for a long time before taking a sip of your drink again. Letting it burn all the way down to your toes, warming you, pushing the cold you felt inside away for just a little while.

“I guess I haven’t really ‘loved’ anyone, since Cassie,” Dean said. Now that a crack in the dam had formed, it all seemed to be waiting to flood out, and you were more than willing to listen. 

“I told her things about me no one else knew. I trusted her, and she ripped my heart out. Not once, but twice. After that, I’ve never really been able to let go again. Never really could trust another woman. I wouldn’t let myself get close to anyone. Well, anyone except you.” Dean said, giving her a half-hearted smile before turning his attention back to his spot he’d been staring at on the wall. 

“I carry so much regret. Things I could have changed but wasn’t good enough or fast enough to change. Joe and Ellen died because of me. Ash died because of me. Bobby died trying to save me. I left Jack alone with mom knowing that he was unstable, so that’s on me too. Kevin is somewhere staggering around a ghost that I will probably have to hunt and salt and burn one day. That’s because of me. I let myself get close to one woman, and she fucked me up so bad that I can’t get past it, and that’s because of me.”

Dean let out a dry laugh before his eyes turned to meet yours. “I can’t look back on one damn thing I’ve done in my life that I can say I’m proud of. Except for maybe the fact that Sammy turned out okay. Other than that I was never good enough, and I never will be.” 

If your heart could have stopped beating, and you still be breathing, at that moment you were almost sure that’s what had happened. The truth in his little declaration, or at least the truth as he saw it, was enough to break your heart into an unfixable, shattered mess. 

If only he could see what you saw. Someone who was smart, handsome, funny, charismatic, talented, strong, a hero. One who had endured more hurt and heartache than any one person should ever have to in their life. Someone who was constantly cut down, and underrated. Someone who deserved so much better than what this life had given him. Someone who deserved love, whether he believed it or not.

In a momentarily fit of bravery, you reached across the empty space in between you, and grabbed his hand in your own. Dean looked down and smiled a little, lacing his fingers with yours before bringing the back of your hand up to his lips, brushing a quick peck across your skin. 

“Dean, you can’t blame yourself for everything that goes wrong, John was an asshole, Cassie was a bitch, Lisa was an unsupportive moron who didn’t realize what she had, Jo? Well, Jo died a hero, just like she always wanted. Ash and everyone else knew the dangers of this life, just like Ben did, and you can’t carry all that with you all the time. Dean, you’ve saved so many people. The good outways the bad, trust me.”

Dean’s eyes searched yours for a moment before he leaned in and closed the distance between you, brushing his lips lightly over your own before kissing you slowly. It was a tender thing, one that was laced with fear, and hurt, and regret, something that Dean would always live with no matter what you say to him. 

This life comes with some form of regret to everyone, but no one should have to shoulder it all alone. If he’d ever just let you, you’d gladly help to shoulder some of his burdens, but tonight was not the night to talk about that. 

Tonight, tonight Dean just needed you to be close to him. So that’s what you intended to do. 

When Dean finally broke the kiss he leaned his forehead against your own, taking a deep breath before pulling the covers back, offering her a spot next to him. “Stay with me tonight baby girl?” he said in more of a plea than a question. You smiled and nodded, making yourself comfortable in his arms as his lips brushed over your own again after he flipped the lights off on the old lamp sitting on his bedside table.

Dean didn’t know how to tell you yet, but you made him feel things he never thought he’d feel again. Having you this close to him right now, made his heart feel like it could beat a little easier. He could feel himself falling for you as you fell asleep in his arms. He wouldn’t tell you though, not right now. He did vow that it would be soon because tomorrow wasn’t promised, and he was determined that this time, this time he could finally have that thing he was missing the most in the shitstorm of regret, hurt, and scars, and that was you. The piece that had been missing all along. He may have lived his whole life with regret, but that didn’t mean he had to die in it, and whether you knew it or not, you gave him something he never thought he’d have again… Hope.

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