#Don't get me STARTED on the other parts in the episode

[lemotmo]

Okay I'm going to partially tell on myself. I am new, as in the Buck/T kiss showed up all over my dash, as did all of Oliver's interviews and I just thought he was the yummiest most delightful human being I had ever seen and heard (my god is accent is heaven) new. And I thought that first kiss was really well done. It was a great scene. Now, that being said, I didn'twant to jump into a show that was seven seasons into the story with zero context, except the stuff I had been seeing on my dash for years. So I started from the beginning, with the full intent and excitement of getting to T in season 7. Imagine my surprise when he popped up occasionally in earlier seasons. His only good part was when we were supposed to believe that Chim could lift him over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, haha. That was great.

Anyway by the time I made it to season 7, it was too late. I had just watched 5 seasons of Buck and Eddie. There was zero room for T to compete on any level. Which is why the behavior of some is so confusing to me. Let me say first that I do not think the show always intended to put Buck and Eddie together, I don't think that's been the intention since the beginning. There is however a very good case to make that Eddie's introduction was Buck's actual Bi bell ringing moment though (*what a man plays in the background*). I do however agree that the writing has trended, increasingly so, in that direction. The writers do not hold all the blame however, Oliver and Ryan have kind of acted them into a corner. There are several scenes, multiple scenes, where the acting choices the two of them made were interesting, to say the least (looking at you 'go for the title' kitchen scene I love. Buck was flirting on every possible level in that scene).

Sorry, I got off track, back to my point. The people like me, who came in after the kiss popped up everywhere, being all in on T is somewhat fine. The problem would be the ones who are deliberately refusing to go back and watch the entire series before pontificating on B/T being destiny and all that other nonsense. There is an argument to be made that they're avoiding it because they know most of the history dismantles their current ship fixation. So as a result those people can be easily dismissed because they have zero context to any of their opinions. The ones who were with you all for 5 seasons though, yes I've seen their posts, who lost their shit over 2 pairs of lips touching, is what I cannot wrap my brain around. I completely understand the excitement behind that first kiss. It was a much anticipated moment for BUCK. He was the important person in that scene.

But confusing, or deliberately misinterpreting, Buck's revelation and sigh of relief at finally figuring out something pretty significant about himself, as being about him finding T is a gymnastics act I did not expect to see from so many long haulers. I mean, it should be obvious but T wasn't important in that scene. His gender was what was important. Which is why they have barely bothered to show him since that episode. And the interactions they have shown, minus the hospital kiss, that they made sure to show Eddie's reaction to btw, have all been red flag scenes. Little things that show this relationship isn't really that different from his previous relationships. Buck may have figured out the gender part but he's still making the same relationship mistakes. It's why the few scenes they've had together, and it's the bare minimum of effort, have been about Buck trying to initiate some level of communication and emotional connection and him being dismissed or having it turned into a daddy kink joke. I also think Oliver's enthusiasm dipped drastically by the end and it showed.

Which brings me to Eddie. The show, and more so, Oliver and Ryan have already done the hard part. The emotional connection, which is way more difficult to pull off than a physical connection, is already there. Their chemistry is already established.They're partners in every way but physically. As a result it is not a huge character leap to eventually bring a physical relationship into it as well. That will not be a shocking character development for either character. It goes back to the way the two have been written and they way Oliver and Ryan have interrupted those scenes. I won't touch their interviews because I think it's pretty clear, at this point, they seem to agree it's the way to go. There's more story to explore with them learning how to navigate an actual relationship than there is in bringing in other, lesser characters, to firstly try to compete with that connection, and then try to establish endgame status. I don't know. It's not about any two pairs of lips touching it's about the right two pairs of lips touching. Because when it's the right couple the characters get that sigh and exhale of finally! But the audience gets their sigh and exhale of finally as well. That is the point.

Sorry this got looooong 🤣

Ooooh Nonny, you speak right to my heart.

First of all, thank you for going back all the way to season 1 to actually sit down and watch the show. We aren't just making up Buddie. It has been there since the beginning. I'm so glad you got to witness their beautiful history together and that you realised just how right they are for each other.

I can't speak for the people who suddenly turned 180° and dropped Buddie for BT. I have been shipping Buddie from season 2, so I don't understand their reasoning or motivation either. It like you said so beautifully:

"It's not about any two pairs of lips touching. It's about the right two pairs of lips touching."

And that is what it comes down to. We can be content with a lackluster, meaningless relationship for queer rep. Or we can be exhilerated with an amazingly complex and years in the making relationship, which will be so much better for queer rep. It will be revolutionary in so many ways to make a slow burn queer ship canon.

(Before anyone comes at me for talking about queer rep. I have slowly been figuring myself out over the last couple of years and, looking back at my life and relationships, I've come to realise that I definitely belong somewhere on the ace spectrum. Not sure where exactly, I'm still searching for the right label, but it feels right to me. This is actually the first time I said this on a public forum for people to read. Kinda scary to be honest.)

I know what I would choose for myself if I was faced with these two options. Why wouldn't we automatically choose this for Buck and Eddie as well? It's mind-boggling really.

So yeah: queer Eddie and Buddie canon in season 8! All the way!

Don't apologise for your great post. I loved reading it. Feel welcome to drop in whenever you want. :)

[vegaseatsass]

The Sol-tuation is a lot more nuanced than that!!

Who knew I, an absolutely feral Mingjoe shipper, would end up making so many posts about the secondary love interest who never stood a chance with our protagonist, but I truly think they're doing some fascinating things with this character and it hurts a little to see so so so many fandom reactions that take what's happening on the surface as the full story with no interest in peeling back those appearances.

I will say before I start: huge credit to @zhouxiangs for so many of these opinions, she shared a few insights about Sol with me today that completely reshaped my interpretation of the character, so thank you x 2389234, this post is not exclusively My thoughts. (Also SolYim as a ship is galaxy brain and the only thing I now want for Sol's future. Thank you for that TOO)

So I very much understand why what it appears Sol is doing - ignoring Joe's clear lack of interest in him to pursue him, taking every opportunity to touch him, and working overtime to prevent Joe from seeing the truth about Ming and his obvious devotion, so he can still "win" Joe instead - is rubbing a lot of people the wrong way. Straight up, situations where people I'm not romantically interested in have pursued me despite my clear and direct (and often hard-fought because I used to be a huge people pleaser) "no" are something I hope to avoid for the rest of my natural life. Relentless pursuit can be a sexy fantasy if you want someone back, as Joe does Ming, but for most of us, it's emotionally pressuring nightmare fuel if you don't.

But I would argue that's really not what's happening. An extremely essential missing piece of context to Sol's behavior is that Joe died because of his relationship with Ming, and Sol spent years grieving him. In episode 9 in particular, they're all face-to-face with the cold hard truth of that grief, and I don't think Sol is any exception, even if he knows Joe is back now. In episode 8, Sol confirmed Joe was back, and he was so euphorically happy, but he was not pushing and shoving Joe to hop into a relationship with him, was he? He was just delighted Joe was alive. But this episode, he's suddenly faced with the very real prospect that Ming and Joe still have feelings for each other. That Joe may return to the man who got him killed. Who Sol, in his own eyes, failed to protect Joe from in his first life, even though Sol so badly wanted to pay back Joe's sincerity to him. And I think the threat of losing Joe again is making Sol (who ran back to Korea instead of processing his grief and guilt over his death) a little insane.

I mean, let's talk about Sol in Joe's first life. After Joe told him he couldn't return his feelings, did we see any inkling of this frantic episode 9 pushiness? Sure, there was the moment where he tried to convince Joe that he and Ming were incompatible, after watching Ming need to hide Joe from his family in what I'm sure read as shame to Sol. I can give Sol some grace for this knowing he struggled with coming to terms with his own sexuality (see: the first time he ran away to Korea), and is now trying to overcompensate for who he was in the past, but you don't have to give him this grace if you don't want to. I can admit his desire to support Joe as a friend is compromised by the tumultuousness of his longing for Joe. Like there's also the fight with Ming on the staircase where Joe gets knocked down and Sol and Ming just keep fighting. Sol is not a saintly unselfish being who keeps his feelings and his desire to protect and support Joe perfectly separate, by any means. (To me this is part of why he's interesting and human, but I get that we all have different character preferences.)

But dinner with Ming's family aside, when first life Joe tells Sol he doesn't want to be with him, Sol lets it go and is happy living in the friend zone. When Joe tells him not to come over and intervene when he's trying to break up with Ming, Sol listens. Sol believes that Joe can handle himself and he respects the boundaries that Joe sets, regardless of what he wants or hopes in the privacy of his own heart.

And what happens without Sol's intervention? Without anyone's intervention? Joe dies. Joe is chained up in a basement - Joe was not safe with Ming, Joe was not able to clear the situation up using just his words - and blacklisted from the industry, driven to desperate financial straits and killed.

So my read of Sol is that he's scrambling to make himself a shield. He thought he was already in a role where he could support Joe, this time around, but this episode raised the threat of Joe going back to Ming and dying again, and now he's frantically trying to change himself into something that can actually keep Joe from doing that. If Joe suddenly decided he wanted to be with Sol and not Ming, would Sol be happy on his own behalf? Of course, I'm not denying that. But I really think so much of the desperation to offer himself as a romantic choice is to try to show Joe he has options that aren't Ming, to try to intervene in ways he didn't in Joe's first life, at any cost.

You can't force someone not to return to an abusive partner, the same way you can't force someone not to commit suicide, or make any other choice where they could get hurt or disappear from your life forever. It's a necessary journey for everyone, to realize you have to respect your loved ones' agency even when they're making choices that terrify you to your core. Sol has not learned that yet, and I'm not defending how pushy and out of pocket he was being this episode. But I'm really, really sympathetic to the absolutely frantic terror that I think was underlying it. If you've never had a suicidal loved one or a loved one trapped in a destructive cycle, it's easy enough to expect Sol to do the right things (the actually HELPFUL and supportive things), instead of the toxic, selfish things. For me he's a far richer and more human character for making the wrong choices, though. For being selfish, but not about wanting to possess Joe and force his feelings Sol's way. About wanting to keep Joe alive and unharmed by force, instead of trusting Joe to make his own choices. Again: you have to let people decide these things for themselves. You have to! If you don't support your loved ones' agency, any other support you think you're offering them is useless and suffocating and will genuinely compound whatever they're dealing with, make it much harder for them to heal, leave, etc - whatever the "healthy" choice is, they can't make it with you forcing them into it. They can't make it without you surrendering to the possibility of them making the "unhealthy" choice; without you accepting that it is their choice. But for a fictional character to go from "genuinely supportive friend" to "publicly announcing you're in a branded relationship a day after your own funeral" because he sees you slipping from his grasp - not emotionally, but potentially literally, metaphysically, permanently, AGAIN - well, to me, that's juicy and compelling.

I'm also more sympathetic to Sol than to Wut when it comes to telling Joe that Ming loves him, frankly. I think Joe needs an impartial friend (Yim!!!) that he can process all his Ming issues with openly, because it is never helpful to feel like because your friends know that your abuser/ex/etc harmed you, you can never go to them to process the moments of kindness and love. Joe needs to be able to look at the full picture of who Ming is and what Ming feels and decide for himself, he doesn't need Sol strongarming him out of accepting that Ming is capable of both great cruelty and great love. But Wut always takes the path of least resistance and it absolutely maddens me. To just say, with no qualification, "The man I and only I know knocked you out and kept you locked in a basement loves you, actually" is absolutely insane and irresponsible. I do not for a second believe Wut was ready to express nuance, to say, like, "I think Ming loves you in his own way, but that love is dangerous and possessive and I hope you stay away." If we see anything in the text that demonstrates otherwise I'm happy to be wrong about this, and then I would be in the "Let Wut speak!" camp. But for now, I do think he was going to play the role of an enabler, just because he finds it easier to let Ming handle Joe's estate and be in Joe's life than to fight it. Lol it still doesn't make Sol right to try to keep Joe from seeing the full picture, but I'm sympathetic to him going wtf, Wut? Do you really think Ming loves him? knowing what Wut knows.

Anyway this is sooooo long so I will try to wrap it up, but I wanted to also talk about Sol and Joe and physical touch. Like I said at the beginning, I totally understand seeing how often Sol hugs Joe or grabs him and feeling uncomfortable imagining yourself in Joe's shoes. But as uncomfortable as EYE would be with Sol's affections, I want to try to analyze how Joe the character feels about all this. Now one of the things I most love about this series is the opaqueness of all the characters' choices, how there is always ambiguity and room for more than one interpretation. So if you watch the scenes where Sol puts his hands on Joe and think Joe looks trapped or unhappy, that is your prerogative! I noticed that the two times he shook Sol's touch off in the episode were when he thought Sol was going to stop him from breaking into his loft, and when he thought Sol was going to cause a scandal with Ming at the press party. Otherwise, from where I sit (my interpretation only!), Joe does not appear to experience Sol's touch as something unwanted or unsafe. I would actually make the argument that having someone he's known for years sharing a bed with him, hugging him, holding his hand, etc, could be offering Joe essential tactile comfort he's not getting from anyone else while he's in the midst of grieving his past life. For all we know, the level of physical intimacy between them is something that completely predates Sol acknowledging his feelings. This could be a normal level of touchiness between them, and not an example of Sol "taking liberties" or trying to force his way into Joe's heart.

To me the upshot of everything is that Joe, to my eyes, seems to feel completely safe with Sol and his professed feelings. When Sol brings his feelings up again when they're getting their makeup done, Joe's response ("how did the conversation turn to this?") pinged me as playful, affectionate, not uncomfortable and pressured. Joe is absolutely terrified of Ming's feelings for him and, significantly, what they would do to Joe's feelings for Ming - he is keeping himself away from Ming by the power of "You don't love me and never did" and when that crumbles so will most of his ability to resist him, I think - but Sol's feelings can't do anything to Joe. They can't make him want things he doesn't want, and they can't make him want things he doesn't want to want. I would argue that Sol is a friend that Joe feels safe around, and his open crush on Joe causes a bit of awkwardness, to be sure, but it doesn't make Joe feel pressured to do anything but be himself. When he's with Sol, he's not afraid of Sol, Sol's feelings, or Joe's feelings. I think that's important to acknowledge! The same way that Sol needs to accept that Joe is allowed to make the choice to go back to Ming and it's never been in Sol's hands, imo fandom needs to accept that if Joe is comfortable with Sol and his affections, we can't argue that he is being pressured by them, or in danger, or anything else.

But that's just my interpretation! I am happy to be disagreed with, haha. I just think Sol is as rich and interesting a character as Ming, but many of us as viewers have more trouble with flawed and selfish kindness (Sol) than we do with complex cruelty (Ming). But I love flawed and selfish kindness. I love characters who are trying so hard to be good and to take care of people they love, and fucking it up and not seeing the ways their wants and fears are getting in the way. So I love Sol. And obviously have a lot to say about him lol.

[mariikado]

Good Omens 2 and mistaken identity.

And don't show this to Neil! And don't ask him about it!

Carefully! There may be spoilers here.

We know from the first season that if the characters switch bodies, a secret sign can be found somewhere. This sign will indicate who we are actually seeing.

The collar on Crowley's jacket indicates that it is in fact Aziraphale.

And now the big mystery of the second season. This is a real "The Clue". Who is who really?

1. I'll start with Shax and her adorable glasses that don't belong to her at all.

2. In the next episode, Aziraphale is in a Bentley listening to «Moonlight Serenade» by Glen Miller & his orchestra, "a very modern tune from 1939." It was this tune that was playing in Doctor Who when the Doctor and Rose found themselves in 1941. Shax gets into the car and says:

Is Shax replacing him now or is she replacing him in some other story? Maybe in 1941. The melody in the Bentley seems to smoothly mix up time. And 1941 may turn out to be part of the future, but placed in the past.

3. Next we are shown 1941. We are transported to Hell and see Shax with an adorable snake on his belt. Who is this Shax?

Read about the demon Shax. A very interesting demon: he knows how to drive you crazy, steals things, maybe even jewelry, maybe even royal ones.

Come to think of it, we learned some very interesting things about Jane Austen earlier: she transported alcohol (like Crowley in 1941), planned a diamond heist (Shax's specialty). So where exactly is Shax in episode four and where is Crowley? What if someone had swapped Shax and Crowley in this part of the story? Remember that the episode is called "The Hitchhiker" (And watch a movie with that title). And Shax was that hitchhiker, so she should be the main character in episode four.

4. Let's move on. Someone very similar to Shax is negotiating something with Furfur and then we see Furfur with a snake tongue. The same question to Furfur: who are you really and what do you really look like?

Read about the demon Furfur. His ability to create storms and bring lovers together is enchanting. So who's really making it rain for Nina and Maggie? So, the deer is the symbol of Furfur. Neil had one fun special spoiler involving the deer and Crowley. Find him, it's very funny.

5. Next we will have a deadly trick with catching a bullet. Aziraphale wears an adorable snake print vest. So what does Aziraphale actually look like or who is Aziraphale in this scene?

Could there be another change of faces before the focus? What if Aziraphale was actually sitting in the audience?

By the way, up to this point in history, faces could also change more than once. Shax's mirror haunted me. There is one angel depicted with a mirror. What's his name? Oh yeah. Gabriel.

6. And after the trick, the guys sit, drink wine and Crowley pronounces his words as if he had already said them before. So who is Crowley?

What happens in the dressing room behind the scenes while we see Aziraphale, and the wall behind him slowly floats (episode 4, 35:03, see for yourself). And could there be another change of faces at this stage?

Let me summarize a bit. My personal view on the situation. Just imagine that Shax is actually Gabriel (we don't know what happened to him after Aziraphale's failed execution). Perhaps he is the same supreme archangel who was sent to hell (Metatron talks about this). Gabriel switches places with Crowley (I doubt that this happened by mutual desire). So Aziraphale goes to the theater with Gabriel and Crowley talks with Furfur in Hell. Then, it seems to me, Furfur becomes Crowley (and not vice versa) and comes to the theater in the image of Crowley. By this time, on the theater stage, Gabriel is already wearing a snake vest, and Aziraphale looks like Crowley and is sitting in the audience. Then in the dressing room, Furfur, who looks like Crowley, switches places with a character who looks like Crowley, but is actually Aziraphale.

The biggest question is: did Furfur know who he was switching places with? Whose team does Furfur play for? And who really is Furfur himself? Have you read about Azazel yet? Furfur says he never met Job (I'm a demon, I lied...) Think about that too.

In fact, Aziraphale and Furfur may be similar to Gabriel. Perhaps in Season 3 the outer shell of the characters will play a role, but at this stage I would like to just understand the souls. And all this works well only on the condition that Aziraphale and Crowley have not swapped places. And if at some point they do change for some reason, then everything becomes even more confusing. Because if Crowley and Aziraphale swapped places even earlier, before the events of the focus (ignore the fact that this is 1941, it may not be him, just as 1827 may be a different time), then Shax in Hell is Aziraphale, and Aziraphale in 1941 - Crowley. It's all very confusing, but that's how it should be. The story was deliberately confused so that no one could get to the bottom of the truth.

To be continued. Part 2.

[eyebulb]

From the other perspective tho.. I don't relate as much to Blitz, I've never been in the position to hurt people and it's not my go to..to yknow get angry and intentionally push people away. I'm not afraid of intimacy, I crave it deeply and just doesn't believe I'm gonna get it. But.. I loved Blitz this episode.. even the shittier parts of him. While I identify with Stolas, I get Blitz and find him so interesting to watch. He was being genuine in a way we haven't seen and I love the growth on him.. It looks great. And oh god how it hurt seeing him accepting defeat for the sake of Stolas. And the talk with Verosika was something I didn't fully know I needed. And I also think this little interaction can really help her finally start to heal. I've seen people thinking this ep was gonna paint her in a bad light but I honestly feel like it painted her in a great light. Taking care of others, standing up for herself and Stolas to Blitz, still being supportive when Blitz showed actual remorse despite how much he hurt her. It made me care about her a bit more. Despite how it ended, I love every instant we get where Stolas and Blitz start understanding a little more about each other.. Drunk Stolas was precious, their interactions were both fucking sad and hilarious ("well, yes?"".......well....fuck you!"). Sassy Stolas has always been a favourite of mine and Blitz is naturally funny even in his shittiness. I was even constantly surprised about how much fanfic writers got fed this time. Like for example, getting confirmation that they never told Stolas about Striker, that he felt sad about Blitz not coming to rescue him (even tho yknow, a lil unfair but it's probably tied to a lot of other things), and Blitz being a jealous fucker.

[viquipo]

No bc I'm so mad rn I usually post my rants on ig stories but I need the tumblrites to tell me if I'm crazy or what. Jwcc/ct spoilers WHATEVER

First of all I want to preface this by saying that this is just my opinion on the matter, I'm not saying your headcanons are "wrong" or whatever tf, it's a kids cartoon where they unironically use terms like "fam". You can play with the characters however you'd like.

That being said, this is why TO ME it does not makes sense for Ben to be anything other than gay. Again, if you think he's bi or straight or anything else that's cool. I'm also leaning towards the opinion that he does actually have a girlfriend. I don't think the shows gonna pull a 180 on it because, realistically, 2 queer characters is already a lot for a DreamWorks kids show. As much as I'd like it not to be.

But, since the beginning, Ben has been very clearly coded as exclusively into men to me. Before finally going into it, I remind everyone on here that I'm a lesbian. I have felt an affinity with his character specifically for the experience of only liking the same gender. I might be totally projecting.

Ok, so.

1. The arc Ben goes through during the show is yes, one of self discovery, but also one of self acceptance. He changes a lot from the start of s1, but he also comes to terms with stuff himself or other people didn't like about him. He doesn't throw the dork pouch away or tells Kenji to keep it, the first thing he does when he takes it back from Kenji is put on hand sanitizer. He is covered in dirt, he's not afraid of filth anymore, but he still does that action because it's part of who he is as a person. He also becomes very unashamed at the things he does. He went from being embarrassed of his carob bars to eating grubs in front of people who he knows think it's gross. He knows himself as he is and he accepts it. To me (and to lots of other people) this works very well as a gay metaphor, and pairs up pretty nicely with the whole "jungle boy? Jungle MAN" arc being a trans metaphor. But how does this make Ben uniquely into men?

Well, it doesn't. But I think this next one does.

2. Enter Yasmina. She's pretty, she's smart, athletic, funny, all that good stuff. I'm not saying that means every wlm character should automatically be into her, but it certainly helps. Now forgive me if I don't remember specific episodes/seasons, but we all remember that episode where Ben convinces himself that Yaz is in love with him for some reason. When he "rejects" her, he says : "I'm just now starting to find myself". That's cool, cause I'm pretty sure Ben's " finding himself " personality wise was over and done a couple of seasons ago. To me, that is a really good hint at him dealing with his gayness.

3. He's also the first person Yasmina talks to about her feelings for Sammy. Now, in this particular context, the options for Yaz to talk to were Darius, Brooklynn, or Ben. It would initially seem to make more sense for her to confide in Brooklynn, since the two of them are far closer than her and Ben, and it also wouldn't be the first time she brings up Sammy as a romantic interest for Yaz (see: everyone tweaking abt that one line back in like s2). So why does Yasmina, a very private and reserved person, choose Ben to talk to about her same sex crush? She has probably gathered from the previous conversation that Ben relates to her struggle in a unique way in which Brooklynn just can't. Ben seems very receptive of what Yaz is saying ("feelings, am I right?") and it seems like he REALLY gets where she's coming from.

4. This is one I don't see talked about a lot, and maybe it's just cause I'm too out of the loop with the fandom, but I want to examine it as well. It's when Ben decides to not actually stay on the island. Everyone (except Sammy) already knew he wasn't going to stay in the end, but still didn't force him out. I think this is especially clear in a line Darius says when they reunite on the boat that goes something like "you needed to figure it out on your own" *smile hand on shoulder combo*. No explanation needed I think

I am diagnosed with autism did you guys know what

[kingdom-of-sins]

Things I didn't like about Bridgerton season 3 part 2

I don't know how you all feel but to me it felt like Polin were not given enough screen time. They felt like side characters in their own season and had far less screen time than Daphne x Duke and Kate x Anthony.

What was the point of Lady Danbury's brother? To show Violet's garden is in need of a gardener? But I kinda like how Lady Danbury was scared her brother is going to ruin the life she has built. I have seen many posts that say that her brother was only 10 when he told their father she was running away, and that she should forgive him, but she was a girl who had no freedom and no say in her life and had to marry an old man against her will. She had valid reasons to be skeptical of her brother even after so many years. Some traumas and betrayals just don't heal even after a lifetime. From her point of view she was being forced to marry against her will while her brother was the favorite, had all the freedom and inherited everything.

Kate and Anthony's chemistry has been through the roof.

Francesca and John had such a sweet build up but the show just ruined it in the last episode.

I have no problem with Michaela but I was really looking forward to Michael since their book was the first one i read from the series. It would be hard to get over that disappointment unless Michaela is portrayed amazingly and doesn't make us feel that "Michael" would have been better.

But seriously, Francesca just got married with the one person who understands her silence and loves her. Was it really necessary to show that she was disappointed in the kiss and immediately started batting for the other team? They could have shown Francesca gradually being attracted to Michaela. How they executed it was disrespectful to John's character.

I was expecting an epic showdown between Penelope and the Queen...not really. But I feel like Penelope meeting the Queen before the public reveal would have been nice. It would have been an interesting scene. And then the Queen coming to reveal her publicly, showing support indirectly.

Too many Mondrich family scenes. Makes me think they might make one of their kids Gregory's or Hyacinth's love interest. I know Hyacinth's love interest is related to Lady Danbury but the show is changing things already so it might be possible

Benedict is still floating around aimlessly. At least his friends with benefits are hot

Colin gave me the ick most of the season. Was expecting a lot more from him.

I kinda feel bad for Cressida but also hated her even more when she started blackmailing Penelope. Lol Colin only made it worse. Would like to see her return to society in a more positive role.

And Lord Debling just disappeared? Did he marry some plants or animals?

Overall an underwhelming season for me. I think next will be Benedict's season and hopefully it will be better

[millilps]

fuck it, we ball clown

so. Susan. Susan Triad. it was all a set up to trap the Doctor. all the mentions of Susan (Foreman) were just to give context to the new viewers. but you know what's interesting here? family.

"wtf are you talking about are you high or something" no no bear with me I actually have a point it's not just pure clowning. well, it is, but I swear I'm trying my best here to make it make sense

it's a long post so buckle up clowns we're going all in with this one

so, I was saying, if you think about it a lot of episodes in this season are more or less centered around or connected to the idea of family in some way:

Space Babies: I mean. yeah. it doesn't really need an explanation. and also the whole thing of being abandoned just like Ruby

The Devil's Chord: we know Maestro is part of the Toymaker's family, and technically also the kid we see at the start? I think? are there theories about that kid? is he just a normal kid and then became somehow the harbinger of Maestro?

Boom: the concept of family literally saves everyone

73 Yards: well, Ruby's family is present in the episode, but also it's interesting how Ruby's fears play out in the episode which is directly interlocked with her birth mother abandoning her, it's kinda there but not as central or as explored as other episodes

Dot and Bubble: it's... a bit more subtle. it's there, kinda. we do have the whole thing of all the people in Finetime being part of rich families, and we also see Lindy's mom, so it's better than nothing

Rogue: I actually don't know. the family of Chuldurs? the marriage proposal? I have absolutely no idea but I also feel like it's there somewhere

The Legend of Ruby Sunday/Empire of Death: I probably don't have to say much as they are the episodes that actually dive in Ruby's story and the mystery around her birth, but yeah the family theme is obviously there

with the season following this theme, more or less, Susan was an obvious choice.

think about it: the Doctor has lost so many people he cared about that Sutekh pretty much could use every name ever. obviously they also had to explain regeneration to new viewers (hi, new viewers! hope you're enjoying the show!) so the list had to be shortened to only characters who are time lords or have the ability to regenerate, add a bit of "the Doctor regretting his past choices" and you get Susan. and this is tied directly with the theme of family, because she is the Doctor's family, technically the only gallifreyan family member we know about (Jenny, River, the Ponds and probably more that I'm forgetting/don't know about are also family, but in a different way) and also we have no informations whatsoever about her - sure, we have Big Finish, but it's kinda... not exactly canon, I guess? idk. nothing is canon and everything is canon at the same time in this show, you just have to live with it. still, she's one of the biggest mysteries of this show, because while other characters came back or were mentioned with information about them and/or their lives either in the expanded universe that is more strongly influenced by the show (yes I'm looking at Barbara and Ian's wedding in the 50th anniversary DMW that I can't find anywhere, idc what anyone says but that IS canon) or in the actual show at some point, she has never officially returned, and the Doctor has never officially gone back to meet her (sure, we have the story Fellow Traveller in the book Adventures in Lockdown, but it's probably not canon anymore at this point - although, it could be, if we clown enough). and with all the things about family in the season, obviously she had to be the key.

Ruby's family story is concluded: she found her birth mother, she also found her father, and now she has an amazing big loving family. but you know which one isn't? the Doctor's. we've met his adoptive mother, sure, but we know the Doctor had kids, we know Susan exists, and we know she's family to him.

she's out there somewhere. I know. she must be. she could've been mentioned in a lot of different episodes, a lot of different points, a lot of different stories, but she wasn't.

so why all these mentions all of a sudden? honestly I have absolutely no idea, I'm not RTD, I'm just a clown doing clown things, and the clown things on today's list is making theories about how Susan might come back

[yoon-topias]

Yoontopia | Chapter 4 {Tunnel of Secrets}

⟡ Warnings: Strong language, depression, mental health issues, references to self harm, references to violence, references to sexual assault, manic episodes, smoking, risky behavior, jealousy, smut.

⟡ 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)

⟡ Best friend's older brother x OC

⟡ Summary: When a normal aquarium trip becomes telling the deepest of secrets in a kids tunnel, in each other's arms.

⟡ 5.3k words

Yoongi Pov:

Walking into the aquarium I think maybe now is the time to ask her when and how. I want to make sure she is in a better place now. She has her pinky wrapped around mine, looking down at them connected, her little pinky wrapping around mine for dear life. She is guiding me where she wants to go. This has always been for her. Everything I do is for her, Going up the stairs making our way to the viewing area for the penguins. As soon as she sees them she lights up "Look! Yoon the babies hatched!" There is a momma and dad with their little baby along with multiple others. 

Maybe one day I'll be like that, but you need someone in your life to want that with you. Also for me someone willing to accept me and all that I come with. She lets go of me and runs up to the glass, her nose is touching it so she can get as close to them as possible. I come behind her and give her a hug. She doesn't tell me to move. It's nice to be close to her like this again, leaning down to her ear and whispering  "Hey wanna go in the tunnel?" 

She turns around in my arms and looks at me "You me in the kids tunnel?" 

Humming in response her eyes dance with a thousand sparkles and nods her head. "It's been so long let's go!" She goes to the end of the glass lined wall and there is the entrance on the ground to go to the tunnel where you can pop your head up and look into the exhibit. She bends down in her boots, suit she does not look like she should be crawling on the ground let alone me also, but fuck it. I'm gonna cherish this moment with her living freely. She starts  to crawl through, bend down and get in behind her. As I do she is already halfway to the peep hole to look up. I move my eyes to look at the side of the wall as I make way behind her to be respectful. It isn't mine to look at. Okay, okay I may peak sometimes.

The tunnel is lit with purple and blue lights. It is very calming, and reminds me of our starlight. No starlight, Yoongi. When she gets to the part to look up she sits down and her head is poking up through the top, but not fully waiting on me to sit with her. She is glowing the way the lights cascade on her face makes it feel like home, it's reminding me too much of my utopia when I see her in it. It all feels like a trance looking at her with the little smile she has on, reminds me of the little girl running through here too short to look in the peep hole and I had to sit down and lift her up to see. 

"Yoon come here" motioning with her hand, I sit down next to her. “Oh you don't need help looking anymore I see how it is.”  

She laughs “I haven’t needed help for years thank you.”

The face she has on speaks so many words she is happy this is so different then that shy girl looking at herself in the mirror earlier.  "I'm here, now how about you go up and take a look at em." She nods her head and smiles, getting on her knees she pokes her head up and I hear a small "woah" come her. I can't help but smile as this woman I have watched grow up. The shy not confident girl who always needed my sister to be the other half that kept her going to be that half of her that she wasn't and now she doesn't have her. Maybe I can be that for her.  I hear her talking and it takes me out of my thoughts "Yoon you gotta see them." 

"Okay, okay but you gotta get out so I can" she sits back down and I poke my head up. It's cute how close they are in the pocket of their parents keeping them safe from the unknown. It's fuzzy and small. "It's adorable, Vi." taking my head out, she is sitting there with her knees to her chest and in the corner of the tunnel "Hey Yoon, can we stay here for a little bit?" 

Sitting down next to her in the very back of the tunnel, Luckily it's a slow day and little to no kids are here. "Of course we can do anything you want." Looking at her under the lights, her wide eyes are pleading with me like she wants to tell me something. "Hey, Vi wanna tell me something?" She nods her head, but moves it to rest on my shoulder. 

"You may want a fix for this one" she sighs and reaches into her pocket and grabs out a lollipop, passes it in my direction. I take the lollipop if she is tellin' me I'm gonna need it, I'm gonna need it no doubt. As it hits my tongue the sweet bursts in my mouth shutting my eyes for a second taking in the sweetness in all of its glory. I go to my utopia for a second, unlock the door and step in. She's there waiting for me with a stupid fuzzy blanket and a smile. Like a ‘welcome home.’ Been gone too long that's for sure. 

Sweet. Sweet. Pineapple. 

Her sweet voice brings me out of my solace in my mind, I need to lock the door. No chain it up forever but I can't stop. Everyone needs something right? Mine just so happen to be my utopia that she has invaded. 

"C-can I hold your hand?" the  smallest of voices I have ever heard from her. 

"Oh yeah? You wanna hold my hand, You admit it? Of course VI it's always empty for you." taking her hand in my hand pulling it to my side. We're both sitting here with our knees up to our chests, her head is on my shoulder, her outer arm pulled to my side. Our hands connected, not just pinkies. 

"I'm gonna tell you, but pinky promises you won't get mad, hate, or look at me differently." 

I'll always promise her anything she needs even if it burns me from within. Thank god I took my meds is all I can think. I take a bite of the lollipop, chewing  on it, relishing the taste. 

Unclasping our hands, it suddenly feels cold without her, Putting the lollipop stick next to me on the floor. Closing my fingers besides my pinky I'm ready to kiss the fire and never look back. She takes a deep breath and clasps her pinky around mine, Slowly moving her face to kiss her thumb. "Then same for me, Vi" as she kisses her thumb. Once she does her seal I move forward pressing a kiss on mine. 

"Pinky" "Swear" 

Touching our thumbs together and looking each other in our eyes searching for answers on both sides. Her lips are part and she is looking at me like I have answers she needs. Those same eyes I have seen a thousand times since we were young. "Would you like me to tell you something first, would that make you feel better?" She grabs my hand, nods her head and lays it back down on my shoulder. I don't think I could have told her everything I'm going to if I was looking at her eyes. I’m a coward I know. 

Here goes nothing. I'm going to tell her my deepest inner battles I fight, that she didn't know about. Taking another deep breath, my free hand I'm doing a coping technique touching my thumb to all my other fingers slowly to ground myself.  

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. 

"Violet, I'm gonna tell you something that only Ma, Pop, Hans, and my roommate knows." She is listening intently and nodding her head on my shoulder. 

"From the time I was young I was a difficult kid you know that. My moods change rapidly, high energy, unstable concentration, and irritability. Well once I hit fourteen that's when the hallucinations started,  I tried to end it for the first time. You remember that camp they told you I went to that Summer?"

She hums in response, squeezing my hand as in reassurance. I take another deep breath. 

"Well then I was admitted and diagnosed with bipolar type one, little did I know I was in and out of manic episodes my entire childhood and when the hallucinations starts it got too much, Vi I wanted it all to stop. Yeah I have loving family, friends, and you but to me it wasn't worth living through those.  I felt foreign in my own body, with that I started to get help I refused at first and which is why I admitted on and off.  I bet you can think of all the times I was gone. That's where I was." 

She squeezes my hand and it feels clammy. I tense up and shut my eyes. Yes, ground yourself Yoongi, that's what you need. Breathe.

In and out. 

One. Two. Three. Four. Five.

 Opening my eyes. I'm with Violet and I'm safe with her, nothing is going to get me. Only I can. 

"I know you're probably mad at me for never telling you, but I'm doing my best. I didn't wanna tell you where you already had so much going on, Vi. I know it doesn't make any excuses. I have been stable for a while now. You can probably guess that, because when was the last time I went away for a while? Mhmm? About three years ago. I need consistency and Jin my roommate does that everyday at our apartment, honestly couldn't make it without him. He even stopped me mid-attempt three years ago." 

Hearing a little gasp she registered that it wasn't that long ago. "But don't worry I go to all my appointments, therapy weekly, and take all my meds. I'm on the right path Violet and you're the main reason I want to be strong enough for you. I have always liked you more than my friend Violet, more than just my sister's best friend. I know you fight your own demons so I hope you can accept mine"

I hear her take a deep breath, and she turns to me looking me in the eyes.. Hell no I couldn't have told her looking into those eyes, they are glossed over a tear threatening to fall and she blinks at me. She lets go of my hand, oh no did I go too far? Maybe I should have kept it in. She gets on her knees in front of me and taps on my knees, I crisscross them. She fucking climbs on top of me and sits in my lap. Nope we have never been this close but it's making me feel better.  She wraps her arms around me, looking at my chest nodding my head knowing what she is hinting at. She lays her head on my chest. "I'm sorry, I know I'm heavy" I lightly hit her back "Stop that Violet." she lets out a sigh. She isn’t fighting back about it and it's nice to know she automatically knows my thoughts about it. 

"I just want to tell you, I accept you and everything you come with Min Yoongi. I'm also sorry you didn't feel like you could tell me because of my own demons behind the scenes. I wish I could have been there for you, visit you, bring you snacks and a plushie to hold at night when you were away but there's nothing I can do about it now. Just know I'm here now and I will be. If you're ever struggling please tell me Yoon. Just please tell me." 

"Hey" backing away a little so I'm looking at her eyes and she is tearing up, I can't handle it if I make her cry. "You were there more than you know Violet. You remember you would text?" she slowly nods her head to me in response. 

"You know Hana would read those texts to me over the phone when she would call and check in. I remember this one time you got mad at me, because I wasn't answering about your trip to see Lewis and you sent a picture of you sticking your tongue out. Along with the photos you took that day. I had Hans tell me everything about the pictures in all detail down to your little rosy cheeks. You were consistent when I was in there without you knowing Violet. Also it was good to not be asked 'how is therapy' 'are you adjusting' 'how is the medication' it gave me a sense of normalcy" 

"Wait so I was there even though I didn't know, Min Yoongi you let me be mad at you for two weeks! Two weeks! Because I thought you didn't wanna talk to me and you hated Lewis." she is crossing her arms and pouting now at me. This is what I miss. Fuck she is the one for me after telling her all that she is still herself.  

Putting my hand over my chest and acting it up "Ahh I can't believe you would think I would hate Lewis he is my son after all." she squints her eyes at me and sticks her tongue out at me. 

"Since when was he your son?" 

"The moment I set my eyes on you, He was ours even if he wasn’t hatched yet.  Also don't stick your tongue out at me or I'm gonna have to show why you shouldn't"

"Huh and why shouldn't I?" 

"Vi, it isn't the time okay." 

She understands what I mean by this, and just gives me a hug. I take a deep breath. I did it with the one person who I wanted to tell for so long and she accepted me. Hell even made me feel normal, not worried how I can be or what I can be like towards her. Even though I never have been with her, always distancing myself when I got bad, and had an episode. 

"Can I tell you about what you saw Yoon?" 

"Of course Vi, I'm here to listen always." I rub her back, she nuzzles into me to get comfortable to tell I guess she can't look at me either while we're both cowards hiding during our most vulnerable times together.

Violet Pov:

Here I go something I never thought I'd be telling him, rather anyone take it to my grave.  I take a deep breath in and after what he just told me it's time to let him know everything that he didn't see for all these years. I didn't want him or Hana to worry about me. They were my escape from this life and I couldn't do it without them. So I just wanted to keep those parts of me separate for as long as I could, yes they know my story but they didn't know what was always happening in the moment.  

"You still pinky promise Yoon?"

"Of course I'll always keep a pinky promise, it's the most important promise Vi." 

I scoot on him a little more, thinking I weigh a ton. I'm probably squishing him, but at this moment I feel like I can let the boundaries slip just a little bit. Let my mind rest for a second. He has his arms around me and his cheek pressed against my head. 

"I don't want you to be mad at me that I didn't tell you or Hana okay?" He hums in response and gives me a squeeze like an "okay" when we're riding.  Taking one more deep breath preparing myself to tell him everything, at least we're in my safe place but I think it's turning into more because of him. 

"You know how after dad was sentenced the town excluded us and wrote us off like we died with him when he went in. We both were fighting a battle on the inside and outside. So that's when we moved out of the city and you too always found a way to come see me and you even picked up in the mornings to ride the bus with me so I could go to the same school as you both. I can't believe you did it. You must have woken up so early everyday for me." 

He gives me a squeeze and I feel a kiss on my head. "And I'll do it all over again Violet." This is a lot for me. He knows some of this already. I need to give all details without holes, but everything in me is telling me to run, he’ll react just like how any other person would. It takes me back to how everyone looked at mom and I after the fact.  I Even changed my last name so I didn't get looked down upon in court because of my father's case. 

"Once we were out of the town, yes I saw you and Hanna everyday but what you both didn't didn't see was mom struggling to keep a job because she kept being harassed that she still loved my dad because no one believes he was framed for the crime. Mom and I relationship distanced as she filled all her time with trying to find an out for him, trying to find stable jobs she turned to using any man who would fulfill the need she wanted whether it be money or filling the void. So when I would get home you both never came in. I wouldn't let you all make my excuses because there was always a different guy." 

"Violet, tell me right now no one ever touched you." he demands, his voice harsh. I know it's because he is protective. 

I don't say anything and continue with what I was telling him. 

"So that caused me to-"

"Violet rose." he pulls away from me and is looking into my eyes. "Tell me." I nod my head and give him the answer he is looking for. 

"Who the hell are they? Tell me right now. I'm gonna kill those bastards." 

"No use Yoon, it's too late and no idea where they are, hell they probably didn't even use their real name. They could be dead for all we know a lot of them are drug addicts." 

"Why? Why didn't you tell us?" 

"Well you know they always told me they were working on the stuff for dad so I didn't wanna stop any progress, but they weren't helping I was just naive.” 

"You weren't naive. You were a child for fucks sake. "

"It is what it is. I have accepted it, Yoon. So with that all happening when I wasn't in class with Hana the other kids would bully me and call me names fat, ugly, murders daughter, devil's spawn, and many others but I didn't tell you because you both didn't need more trouble from me. I fell into a hole of feeling worthless and it was spiraling. To feel anything I hurt myself anyway I could hide it because the only other time I felt was when I was with you or Hanna. So when I was home it was a cycle come home see who was there that day and hope I was lucky, if I wasn't lucky afterwards I was make sure I felt something to know I was still alive and not in a time loop that it felt like." 

A tear drops from my eye and it rolls down my cheek, he catches it with his thumb.  Wait I was looking at him the entire telling him and I didn't even notice fuck. I'm doing it again when I black out thinking about it. "Violet. Baby, why did you let yourself go through this alone. I would have been the first person to step in." 

"You both were my escape and I didn't wanna bring you down with me into this hole because that hole was never ending." 

He pulls me in and hugs me so tight that I feel the air being sucked from within me. It feels like forever since I've hugged this tight. When was the last time I had one this tight? When I got the last hug from dad. And he told me. "Run whatever you do whenever there is something after you, you run Violet don't wait for it to catch up to you" and that's what I have always done. 

"Well I'm never going anywhere you got that? I'm here for you and I wish I could have been there for you and even if I was dealing with my own stuff I would have been there in any form I could have been. I know Ma, Pop, and Hans would have also been there you know they see as their own" nodding my head yeah they have always been there for me but also they don't need another problem to deal with now that i know the behind the scenes stuff they were dealing with Yoongi. 

"After that point it was a repeating cycle and when I was in high school and you were no longer there, hell in college you even came and took me by bus to school told Hanna to get more sleep, you were the only consistent thing I had so why would I bring that into my hole and just get wrapped up in the loop I thought. When I moved out with Hana in senior year and we both got jobs and we finally got the okay to move out I didn't get to option honestly a month prior I was told I needed to be out so I had to get a grounding on my life and the loop I was in." 

"Wait you didn't move out because you and Hana both wanted out" shaking my head and giving him the answer. 

"I figured out I wanted to help people like dad, found the path I needed to take to get there even though I know I won't ever get him out. We have done too many trials and appeals. He doesn't want to try and gave up hope, you know that. So I got out of the loop with mom which was a start but then it spiraled to when I was alone the things they said during, ya know..would eat me alive and I needed to feel alive to make sure I was living." 

"Violet, look me in the eyes when was the last time." He places his hand on my cheek and looks at me with the softest eyes searching for answers. 

"The case that reminded me of dad." that wasn't long ago I just closed the case and won. It felt euphoric to win and prove his innocence. He got to hug his son not in shackles like I wished mine would have ended that way. I’ll live through that little boy.  That night I went home and needed to remind myself I was alive in the real world.  

"That was but only a few days ago, that's why they felt rough and bumpy, they are healing." he places his hand on my thigh and rubs it lightly over my pants.  

Giving him a nod and he looks at me like I’m as light as a feather about to fly away in the wind. "But it's okay before that it was months actually, being with you makes me feel alive Yoongi. I haven't needed to because anytime I would, you would be at my door, texting, or even taking me out. You saved me from myself without knowing, making me feel euphoria, grounding me to this earth." 

He grabs my hand and pulls it up and places a kiss on it and looks up at me "I'll always be here Violet, but promises me no more you'll call me. Text me. Hell wake me up and you know how much I like my sleep." 

Lifting up my pinky to show him I'll do it. He looks at me and I see they are teary, raising his pinky and clasping it with mine. 

"Pinky" "Swear" 

Sealing it with a kiss and pressing them together it's the closest I'll ever get to kissing him. He needs someone strong, someone to bring out the best in him all the time.  I'm not that for him I can't be when I'm fighting my own battles. I need to be better before I can be that for him.  You can only be that for someone when you're at your best.  

"I have one more thing to tell you." 

"What is it, Vi?" 

"So the company party is uh don't get mad at me.. um a goodbye for now party, because six months ago I was at all low and I felt like I needed to run away. I didn't know any of this would happen between us but I'm moving to another branch that's seven hours away and also got in touch with a counselor there to help me. I plan to come back in a year or so. I just wanted to get my footing and try to gain some control before it took over. You honestly have been saving me while waiting for the move" 

He is looking at me with no emotion. It looks like he shut them off, his eyes are black and his grip tightens on my thigh. I see the tears wanting to start but he's holding them in. I know I did something hard for the both of us but I ran the only thing I have ever known. "You mean you- You're gonna be gone for a year after all this? Violet I don't wanna grow apart, I wanna grow with you."

"Just think of it as my own summer camp" placing my hands on his cheeks and giving me a small smile. 

"Yeah your own summer camp, but this time I better get replies since I know you can answer me." 

Leaning in and wrapping my arms around him and giving his a tight squeeze "You better give me Lewis updates mister pineapple, I'll be waiting." 

He laughs a little bit and gives me a tighter squeeze. "How could I forget my son I gotta get him his lettuce if his momma isn't gonna be here." 

I pull away and wipe my own tears. I know I'm about to wanna run from what I'm gonna say but if now isn't the time then when is it? "Min Yoongi, you are my universe so please just wait a little bit while I'm working on myself. You know how fish migrate to high levels of water when theirs is too low. Just think when I no longer have any more water left in me I'll migrate back to you Yoon. After all, we're fish in another universe. I love you." 

He gives me a smile and pulls me in and places a kiss on my forehead "Yeah we're fish Vi. I love you more than life itself. Fuck it feels nice to say it finally." he sighs, places his forehead against mine and takes a deep breath. "Looks like I'm gonna have to make the second prom the best one yet huh? If my little fish is gonna be gone for a little bit." 

Humming in response this one time I'm gonna let myself enjoy it and be free no longer hiding and running. This time I'm gonna run into it at full force for the man in front of me. If he can make himself better than I can, it only took me years to get there.  

"And my big fish is gonna be okay? Right." 

"As long as I get my updates and how you're doing, I'll make it Vi. If it means some time away to  know you're doing better, getting to a better place. I'll be here always waiting. I'll be here waiting to give you the water you need. Now let's go tell Lewis momma finally accepted dad." Yoongi places his finger on his lips and makes a shhh sound "He's been waiting for years for momma to finally accept it." 

Hitting his chest and laughing with him "Min Yoongi have you and my son been plotting against me?" he gives me a shrug, his right side of his lip moves up smirking, rolling his eyes to look in another direction other than me. I grab his face in my hands and look at him "Violet, I don't know how much longer I can hold back, don't hold my face like that." 

"Then don't hold back Yoongi"

 Yoongi is fighting an inner battle with himself after she says it and thinks fuck it. I have waited this long. It's time I finally do it in the real world, not his utopia. 

I hear him mumble "fuck it" and he pulls my hands down to my sides  and his left hand grabs my cheek, his right grabbing my neck and he locks our lips. We both lose ourselves in the kiss. He pulls me closer to him and I feel like I'm in another universe. Yeah I'm in a different universe that has to be it and I pinch my thigh, nope we're here right now and I'm kissing my childhood crush. His teeth swipe over my bottom lip as he pulls away we're both breathing heavy, eyes locked on each other.  He is the first one to say something. "Fuck you don't know how long I have waited for this. Violet, you're the one I have always wanted." 

"You could have had me, but I don't know if I'm the one for you."

"Don't you dare fucking say that, you're the one who gets me up in the morning, take my meds, go to therapy, and eat.  God violet! You don't see it but everything I have done has been for you. I love you okay?! So just let me love you and accept it!" 

My lips part and I'm looking at him. I don't know what to think, like someone actually wants me? I give him a small nod. I have no words, no one has ever truly wanted me for me so right now I don't know how to react. He notices this and pulls me into a hug and rubs my back. "I'm sorry I raised my voice I- I didn't mean to. I just can't stand you not accepting something so good for the both of us. Clearly we both have been running from it so this time let's not run from it until you leave." 

"Okay, this once I won't run but in the end if I run it's my instinct." 

"You can run all you want after the party.  I'll forever be chasing after you." He kisses my head and lingers there for a minute before I feel his lips move on my forehead. "Now let's go, Vi it's almost closing time and we have to stop by Lewis again and bubbles" 

“Mhmm we can’t forget to say bye.”  getting off him, turning to crawl out of the tunnel and as I stand up I see him coming out looking the other direction to not be looking at my ass he really is the right one for me huh? Min Yoongi, my best friend's brother. 

He smiles as he stands up holding out my hand to wrap around his pointer finger and look up at him "let's go my big fish."

They say only a broken heart can understand a broken heart so maybe he is my other broken heart.

Thank you for reading. ₊˚⊹♡

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All rights belong to @/Yoon-Topias. Do not copy/ translate.

[charizardstolemynickname]

Having an emotional day, so decided the only proper thing is to rewatch episodes of doctor who, because, I know these episodes will fill me with feelings

I forgot how hard S4 EP13 hits.

Tenrose fans fucking won with this episode. LIKE CMON, we got SO MUCH, so much happiness, AND PAIN

If nobody has me, i know S4 EP13 of New Doctor Who got me (in emotional turmoil)

If Tenrose has 1 fan, its me. If Tenrose has 0 fans, I am not only dead but someone chopped up my brain because there is no way my dead body is not still a tenrose fan

Donna fans (also me) won desperately and then suddenly lost. It hurt just as much as the first time watching.

[oldtvandcomics]

Fuck this. I just wish that stories were allowed to END, you know. No spontaneous seasons added on. No cliffhangers in the hope that the streaming service doesn’t cancel the whole show anyway. No hints of future movies in the ones that are supposed to finish off a story arc. No talks of actors coming back. No dragging up stories that were finished and done with over a decade ago and give them yet another movie.

I’m so tired.

[jujutsustraycats]

I thought the manga ripped my heart out but the ANIME? BRUH I WAS NOT EXPECTING THAT, Y'ALL REALLY ENDED UP RIPPING THE FUCKING EMPTY SPACE IN MY CHEST TOO HUH

[lisbonsteresa]

eating glass licking rust etc etc

[babblingfishes]

I keep seeing pizza tower fanart tagged like "i do not condone this game" and it's killing me

I think marvel fans should start doing this

[weareuniqueandimportant]

WE WATCHED HIGHSPEED ETOILE EPISODE 11... DAMN QUEEN IS GETTING HER ASS KICKED WHILE KING'S IS SQUEAKY CLEAN... AT THE SAME TIME THAT MIGHT BE THEY'RE GOING TO PULL SOMETHING REALLY IMPORTANT TO HER CHARACTER NEXT EPISODE... AND SHE MIGHT END UP MORE COMPLEX AND INTERESTING THAN THE KING IS... BTW HER REACTION TO RIN PASSING HER IS VERY CUTE AND FUNNY... COULD THIS BE... WLW X CAR RACE ATTRACTION PARAPHILIA REPRESENTATION...?!?! THAT WOULD BE FLAMES... INFACT I ALREADY DECIDED THIS... IF THERE'LL BE MORE SEASONS THERE COULD BE ALOT MORE SUCH CONTENT TBH... FIRE TO BE HONEST... SPY KYOUSHITSU GOT MUCH BETTER WITH SEASON 2... COULD THIS BE JUST ANOTHER SLOW STARTING BANGER...? COULD BE COULD BE... THEN... ALL THOSE OTHER SERIES COULD BE THE SAME... ALL OF THEM TBH... THAT WOULD BE FLAMES TBH...

[keets-writing-corner]

Thinking a LOT about Lucifer in the latest Hazbin episode. Idk what I was expecting but not this??

As I was watching my immediate thought was just "huh... Lucifer is kinda of weird..." but as the episode went on I realized the issue

the dude is off the chain depressed, like he says it as a joke but holy cow it is SO BAD

He's manically just creating rubber ducks cuz his daughter really like it that one time but it's empty, it's never good enough but he keeps doing it, maybe cuz he doesn't know how to pass the time otherwise.

like I get the feeling he HAS better things he SHOULD be doing than making rubber duck after rubber duck. At first I was like, "Bruh why isn't the king of hell doing anything?" aaaaand then it became clear...

The dude is disassociating so bad he can barely hold a conversation let alone remember information. He clearly WANTS to, he wants to be involved with his daughter so bad, he wants to care about the things she's doing so bad, but his depression keeps interfering. It's like he can only hear every other word and he grasps onto the ones he does hear semi-out of context. Like you can see every time he catches something that he hadn't before and he just "well shit I didn't catch that part"

and that's why he reacts so weird when people talk to him. He is struggling so bad to engage with the conversation he's only getting 50% of it

does that look like the face of a man who knows what the hell the conversation is even about??? he is STRUGGLING

like Charlie spent so long telling him about the hotel, and he STILL didn't understand what she wanted. Yeah it comes off as ditzy but literally I've been in that position where your brain just "nope, not doing this right now" and nerfs your conversation comprehension. So as someone who's BEEN in that position, to me it feels exactly like what he's dealing with. He's sorta engaged with the conversation, but only as much as his brain will allow

For example, when I'm dealing with this, this is what someone talking to me feels like this where the crossed out parts are what I missed and bold is what I catch, "Hey! You know I was thinking for dinner we could either make some chicken with rice? But if you don't feel like cooking, pasta is super easy and you love that right? What do you want to do?" you can kinda get that someone is trying to talk to you about dinner, and towards the end you get the impression that they asked something that needs your input so you can decently put 2 and 2 together and try and pass off, but crucial bits were left out, I would have no idea that either chicken or pasta is in the conversation only having heard "rice". When someone is just talking at me, I can decently pass off as being engaged but the second I'm required to participate in the conversation I'm screwed. Seem familiar? At which point I have 2 options, try to give a bullshit answer, or admit that I missed what they were saying and ask them to repeat

Lucifer, unfortunately, is trying so damn hard to hide that he's dealing with like 24/7 dissociation, so he can't admit that he's missing entire chunks of the conversation, hence his really weird replies. He does eventually get the full picture and then he and Charlie start having the real conversation

Also, the Alastor/Lucifer rivalry was hilarious but also really indicative of more of what Lucifer is dealing with

Alastor is, unfortunately, really good at picking up people's insecurities, and thanks to Charlie's description earlier and watching Lucifer clearly trying to overcompensate, he immediately picks up on the fact that Lucifer KNOWS he struggles to be a good dad (we know cuz it's cuz of the depression, hard to be engaged when your brain keeps turning off) and decides to rub salt in the wound by pretending he's been acting as a surrogate father to Charlie. Now why Alastor decided to pick a fight with the king of hell is beyond me, I do not understand Alastor (and I LIKE IT) (maybe it's cuz Alastor thinks he's hot shit and was expecting Lucifer to at least have heard of him but Lucifer just treats him like a nobody? who knows)(why would Lucifer listen to radio anyways when he can't even pay attention to a conversation it'd just be white noise)

But yeah I just was expecting someone who oozed either charisma or presence and instead I got a depressed dad who's dissociating so bad he can barely function and be present in his life. The only thing it seems he CAN do is make rubber ducks cuz his daughter really liked it that one time

Idk Lucifer is tragic to me. Whatever the full details of what heavan did to him absolutely broke him and he can't deal with it. He's aware of it, and he doesn't know how to fix it, so he tries to over compensate and sorta makes an ass out of himself but no one says or does anything cuz this guy is supposed to be THE king of hell

Suddenly it's making a lot more sense why he just rolls over and lets heaven do what it wants and even told Charlie to go in his place the start of the show. He's not in any headspace to hold a basic conversation let alone negotiate! He didn't even know who Alastor was, he's been so out of touch

idk I like him, he seems sweet, I hope Charlie brings some light back into his life. He really needs to get out of that rubber duck room

[ambrosiagourmet]

This episode of the anime made me realize something about Namari and her relationship with Tansu and his party. Before now I haven't been able to quite pin down how and why they start treating her more like family and less like a disposable bodyguard. But the anime conveys the shift so well!!

So, at the start of the episode, Tansu pulls Namari in the way of the undine's attack to protect himself. He's perfectly happy to let her die to save himself.

Kiki and Kaka both shout for him, but no one expresses a lot of care for what happens to Namari. This isn't remarkable to any of them. They do bring her back to the camp, of course, and Tansu resurrects her... at which point she starts yelling at him about how this is, in fact, a common thing.

Throughout the rest of the episode, there is a clear contrast in how the Tansu family all treats each other versus how they treat Namari. Tansu or Kiki being in danger is concerning. Namari getting hurt or killed is just part of the job. She is a meat shield, a tool they paid for and are using as part of this expedition. They take care of her, but they care about each other.

And though it's not exactly explicitly stated, Chilchuck's speech about reputation makes it clear why - they probably assume, because of her reputation, that this is how Namari views things, too.

From their perspective, Namari signed up to die a lot and get paid a lot. She is only there for the money, but acts upset when they don't treat her as a proper member of the party (and family). From their perspective, flawed as it is, she is asking for more respect than she will return.

That's not how Namari actually feels, though, and at the episode she tells Tansu as much:

And this is what changes things between them! Tansu finally sees her as more than a tool. For the first time, the party bonds with Namari as a person.

It's very fitting that this comes right after Namari realizes the value of Senshi's pot, too.

Just like the adamantine shield can be used for more than just fighting, Namari is more than just a tool and shield herself.

So they all share a meal, and things are different between them now. Tansu and his family will go on to treat Namari with more respect in the future, and they will begin to forge actual bonds. As complex as the layers of distrust, reputation, depersonalization and assumption are... In many ways it's as simple as that. How very like Dungeon Meshi. I'm so glad the anime made this finally click for me.