#Dumper Courses

[fotibrit]

Tour guides are just professional info-dumpers.

For this reason, I firmly believe that Tony has a means of disguising himself in order to be a tour guide every once in a while when he’s bored and unmotivated.

Of course, Tony is feeling especially bored and unmotivated the day that Peter’s class tours SI.

[fanficfanattic]

It only just occurred to me. But Jamie knew the cursing rule without us seeing it established during Uncle’s Day. So now I’m imagining how that exchange went.

I could see Roy’s sister initiating the call. Explaining who she is but that Phoebe can explain it best. And then that proper little dweeb gets on to explain Uncle’s Day; that they have tea and then themed presents* and it ends in a two-person play.

But then also about the fine system, that they don’t offer milk with their tea because of Uncle Roy being lactose intolerant. Like she gets to talk to someone N E W who also loves her Uncle Roy. She gets over/excited and just info dumps about her uncle.

And of course Jamie is charmed. He’s an excited about things info dumper too. And a Roy Kent stan. And a just-some-bloke-named-roy fan too.

So he puts some change in his pocket and shows up for Phoebe. It being about Roy is just icing on the cake.

* “This year we’re making shirts!”

Jamie *pen leaking ink into his mouth thinking “does it count if I come up with the idea but someone else does the actual work?”

Phoebe *tapping her capped pen against her Uncle’s Day 2023 plan* “I suppose so…”

[every-aj-needs-an-angel]

I read this amazing idea and this sorta wrote itself. I hope it's everything you were hoping for @piratefishmama

"ugh. fuck," Steve groaned into his pillow. He'd never felt worse.

What the hell happened last night?

It was dark, but there was daylight trying to peek through the curtains, so it must be morning.

Wait. Curtains?

Steve didn't own curtains, and neither did Robin.

Steve tried to focus his alcohol-soaked brain on his surroundings; he was in a hotel room, that much was obvious, and there was a napkin sitting under last night's wine glass on the bedside table, but as he reached over to rescue it, Steve caught a glimpse of a ring on his finger. Weird. Steve didn't often wear jewellery, rarely ever wore rings but... ah! Vegas!

Of course! Their post-firing Vegas trip. Steve turned his head on the pillow and automatically regretted it.

"ugh. robin," Steve murmured, "Robin," he tried a bit louder. She was still ignoring him, curled up in all the blankets, sleeping peacefully when Steve was suffering. Such a blanket hog, Steve thought churlishly. "ROBIN! Ow, fuck!" Steve hid his face back in his pillow, shouting was not the way to go.

"stop yelling," the body in the blankets grouched. Because holy fuck that most definitely was not Robin! "Who the fuck is Robin?" the guy groaned, finally deigning to stick his head out of the covers.

Steve lifted his head and blinked owlishly. That was a face he most definitely did not know. Jesus Christ! Steve launched himself upright, only just realising that he was fucking starkers in bed with a complete stranger. "Who the fuck are you?"

The guy had the nerve to smirk as Steve tried and failed to cover his modesty, but at least had the decency to pretend to be removing the sleep from his eyes in order to give him a modicum of privacy.

"Eddie," he introduced with a half-wave, that stupid grin still gracing his lovely features, "wha' 'bout you, Big Boy?" Eddie asked, cheekily waggling his eyebrows at Steve.

Steve could feel the blush burning his cheeks, he didn’t have control of enough of his faculties to deal with this, going home and pretending this never happened seemed like a great idea right about now. Steve slid himself to the edge of the bed, placing his head delicately in his hands, gearing himself up to get moving, preferably without seeing the contents of his stomach. “Steve,” he muttered.

He could hear movement from the other side of the bed, the sheets moving sounding like Eddie was rolling a dumper truck through the room, followed by a blissful silence that was only broken by a quiet "err, Steve?"

"yeah?" he whispered, not that it really did anything to ease the throbbing in his skull.

Eddie moved again and when Steve looked over, Eddie had leaned across the bed onto the pillow Steve had vacated, trying to get a better look at his hunched form, worrying his lip. Odd, he doesn't seem the type. "You aren't- are you? Wearing a ring?"

Huh? Steve's eyebrows scrunched together, he's not exactly used to waking up in bed with a stranger, but minor lifestyle choices aren't one of Steve's main concerns right now. "Yeah. Why? Men can't wear jewellery?" Steve sniped.

Eddie rolled his eyes so hard he was in danger of losing them, lifting both hands to show Steve the many rings he wore on his fingers. "No. Don't be dense!" Eddie reproached, waited a moment and sighed deeply at Steve's visible confusion, "Look at the finger it's on."

Shifting his left hand in front of his face, Steve glared at the plain gold band glinting up at him from his ring finger. It took a second but when the realisation finally dawned it knocked all the breath out of him, "oh. shit."

Steve looked over at Eddie wide-eyed to find him nodding in agreement with the sentiment. "Yeah. Oh. Shit." Eddie echoed.

This just didn't make sense! It'd been a long time since Steve had consumed so much alcohol, he probably hadn't been that drunk since high school, yet somehow someone thought he was in a fit state to enter into a legal contract! "I don't even- they can't've let us? We were drunk!"

Eddie just shrugs, doesn't look even nearly upset enough for Steve's liking. Steve glares at him trying to convey how insane this situation is, Eddie just gives him a look that says "it is what it is". Steve continued glaring, an internal monologue of this is insane, why aren't you freaking out? I'm freaking out! We're strangers and now we're married and oh god we're gonna have to get divorced! I'm gonna be divorced! I don't wanna be divorced! which clearly just frustrates him because Eddie just throws his hands in the air and shouts, "We're in Vegas!"

And suddenly all the fight sucks out of Steve, he slumps back over covering his face with his hands, feeling the slide of metal against his cheek and mutters "fuck. we're in vegas."

But he didn't come here alone! Robin! His best friend and platonic soul mate. And oh how Steve adores her because she's smart, she'll know what to do! "I need to find Robin!" Steve decides, jumping up off the bed, and immediately standing perfectly still so the room stops spinning. I just need to get dressed and find Robin, she'll know how to fix this!

Eddie still hasn't moved from his spot, lounging elegantly across the pillows, the sheet draped gracefully over him like some kind of artist's model. He raises a judgemental eyebrow at Steve, "Robin?"

Unhooking his jeans from the lampshade, Steve grins at Eddie, he's not the first person to assume they're an item. "My best friend," Steve clarifies, but Eddie doesn't look convinced, if anything he looks even more pissed off, his face doing that complicated, pissed off, 'I'm assuming I'm being lied to', twist snarl.

Steve looks, really looks, at Eddie. Steve doesn't know much about him, other than the fact that he's incredibly pretty because really eyes that big and beautiful should only be allowed on magazine covers! He's completely covered in tattoos, which is so hot, not to mention those rings! And he's cheeky as fuck and absolutely unafraid to stand up for himself, which is a first for Steve. People who don't know him usually find him a little intimidating, which is insane, but Robin assures him it's a them thing, not a him thing. And although that's barely anything to know about a person, Steve'd already dearly love to know who'd dare to hurt him, he'd just like to chat, honest. "She's a lesbian," he adds, just to really drive his point home.

It seems to surprise Eddie, his eyebrows shoot up before he grins back at Steve, all teeth and sparkling eyes, trying to hide his face in his mane! Because that's really the only way to describe the majesty of his hair. And oh he's blushing, that's adorable. Eddie clears his throat, sitting up a little straighter, "oh. Yeah. I should probably find Chris," he agrees like he's saying what he's thinking out loud, quickly clarifying, "she also likes women."

They're smiling gently at one another when the phone starts to ring, Steve striding back to the bedside to answer it, hearing Robin shout "Steveeeeee!!"

That sets the ringing off in Steve's ears again, ow! "Robin, shh!" Steve chastises.

Robin's uninhibited by Steve's grouchiness, "I just wanted to say... Congratulations!" she singsongs.

"You know about that?!" Steve's utterly bewildered, surely she wouldn't...

"We were there!" she shouts excitably, as though she'd personally been invited to Area 51, instead of witnessing something as stupid as Steve getting married, while too drunk to even remember the name of his husband.

husband! Steve thinks pathetically.

"we?" he asks meekly, hoping beyond hope he hadn't done something ridiculous like invite his mother or his ex.

"Me and Chris!" Robin shouts, in the background he hears another voice woo-hoo and then say something incomprehensible that makes Robin giggle.

Steve sighs, rolls his eyes because of course! And purposefully catching his eye, smiles exasperatedly at Eddie, "they're together," he informs him.

Eddie snorts a laugh and shrugs, "makes sense," he murmurs as though this is all completely normal behaviour. Maybe it is for them, Steve doesn't bloody know.

Turning back to his phone conversation, Steve asks, "Why'd you let me do that, Rob?" It comes out as whiny and pathetic as he feels, forcefully rubbing his forehead to try to ease the tension building there.

Robin barks a laugh, and she's right it is funny, no one's ever been able to stop Steve from doing anything he set his mind to. Doesn't mean he doesn't want someone else to blame for the fact that he doesn't remember his own wedding and that he's going to be divorced before he's thirty!

"You're in LOVE, Stevie! Who am I to stand in the way of love?"

Robin always manages to explain the most bizarre things as though they're completely ordinary, making them sound almost reasonable. It baffles Steve every damn time. Like she just said "You were sick Steve, so I took you to the doctor" instead of "You're in love with someone you met yesterday, so the obvious solution was a drunken wedding"!

Steve sighed, trying not to be annoyed with her, "Bobbie, I met Eddie less than 24 hours ago! What am I, a fucking Disney Princess?" the vitriol soaking his words would've upset most people, but Robin never flinched, even when he was being the world's biggest dick.

He could practically hear her eye roll through the phone, "No Dingus, you're not a Princess!" she sounded almost sympathetic for a second, but she couldn't hold back the bubble of laughter, "You're a King!" she proclaimed, cackling so hard she snorted.

She hadn't let up about "King Steve" since she’d found his yearbook, signed by all his dickhead "friends". She thought high school cliques were ridiculous, thought prom was even worse, and the idea that Steve had been so popular he'd been elected as an imaginary sovereign as part of their fabricated hierarchy had her rolling around the floor laughing for a solid ten minutes.

"Jesus Christ!" Steve muttered pinching the bridge of his nose, nothing was ever as funny as she thought it was when she was drunk, especially not when she was funny-drunk and he wasn't nearly drunk enough.

Robin stopped laughing abruptly and gasped as though she'd forgotten something. "Steve. Stevie. Evievievie! Guess what, I haven't been to bed yet!" she declared proudly. Steve had no idea what time it was, but as far as he knew the last time she'd slept had been on the plane, and that hadn't exactly been for very long.

"Maybe it's time for bed then?" Steve reasoned, trying to hold on to the last of his patience.

"No! Nooo, I'm with a girl," she whispered conspiratorially. oh jesus! Like he didn't know that!

He was far too sober for this Robin, it was fine when she'd do it in a club, wander over and be all "Steve, I've been dancing with a girl!" mainly because he was drunk enough to join in with her level of wonderment (even though he'd just watched her do it). Right now though, with the weight of his life choices on his shoulders, trying to wrangle his best friend was driving him slightly mad.

"I know," he whispered back. He could hear the pings and dings of the casino in the background, but other than her gentle breathing, Robin had gone suddenly eerily quiet.

He was just about to ask if she'd nodded off upright (it wouldn't be the first time) when Robin and Chris whined loudly, "We're bored, Steve!" jesus fuck! He had to move the phone away from his ear, so his skull didn't crack open. The fact that they said it simultaneously being equal parts creepy and adorable.

It was then that Eddie's stomach rumbled noisily, he'd been quiet and still the whole time Steve was on the phone, not even looking in his direction apart from when Steve spoke directly to him. That was until Steve's stomach grumbled in agreement, Eddie glancing up at Steve through his lashes, amusement dancing in his eyes and god when he smiled like that!

When was the last time any of them ate? Robin hadn't shut up about Vegas' newest waffle place (that had basically inspired the whole trip) since she'd heard about it from Gina in accounting. Maybe some food would do them all some good.

"What about some breakfast?" Steve suggested, he still had his eyes locked with Eddie's and found he wasn't just talking to Robin. Eddie nodded coyly, getting off the bed to gather his clothes from wherever they'd been flung.

"Oooh!! That's a great idea! You're so smart, Steve! I love you!" Robin squealed in his ear and Steve yanked his eyes away from Eddie as he sauntered naked around the room, staring purposefully at the napkin on the bedside, absentmindedly playing with the ring on his finger.

"I love you, too. You going for waffles?"

Steve liked to check in, it wasn't that he thought Robin was incapable of taking care of herself. He just worried. The love he felt for his found family had a depth he'd never thought himself capable of, and Steve didn't even know who he'd be without Robin by his side.

But Robin always knew him better than he knew himself, could practically taste the pensive thoughts through the line, "We're going for waffles, Dingus! Don't forget your husband!" she yelled and hung up.

"jesus fucking christ!" he muttered to himself, putting the phone down.

A husband! Steve didn't even have a job, let alone a career, but he somehow now had a husband. And the thing was, Steve couldn't even say he hated the idea. He didn't particularly like the idea of marrying someone he couldn't remember knowing, but he knew he'd always been one to fall too hard, too fast. His fuckbuddies were different, he could separate his emotions from sex under that context but the moment an actual relationship was mentioned suddenly Steve was all-in.

Maybe Eddie was an all-in kinda guy too?

Eddie had seemed flustered at first but he relaxed into it pretty quickly. It was intriguing to meet someone so laidback and spontaneous. Steve and Robin were always pretty happy-go-lucky, jumping from job to job without giving it much thought. But out of everyone they knew, they seemed to be the outliers, it was nice to meet such a free spirit.

Not that Steve had always been this way, of course, it was all Robin's good influence. From as small as he could remember his parents had brought him up to care more about what everyone else thought, than about his own thoughts, wants and opinions and honestly, it had him wound tighter than a springboard for the first twenty years of his life.

It was Robin who'd taught him that it was okay to do what he wanted to do, when he wanted to do it, that what he wanted mattered. It took a while but she got him to get to know himself, the real him, not the guy his parents wanted him to be. Steve kinda hoped he’d be able to get to know Eddie, like really get to know him, beyond just breakfast with their respective best friends.

Speaking of, Steve looked around to find Eddie had left the bathroom door wide open, a clear invitation to join him. Steve faltered for a second because they should probably talk first but honestly, it'd been a long time since Steve had felt as good as he did when Eddie smiled at him and he was kind of sick of denying himself things that felt good.

Fuck it!

As he shuffled towards the bathroom, Steve rescued the rest of his clothes from the floor, his shirt was still tucked inside his jacket, dropped carelessly just inside the room door. A vision flashed in Steve's mind, he and Eddie in the lift, he was shirtless and rutting against Eddie as they frantically made out, watching in the mirror behind him as Eddie licked and nibbled down his neck.

Holy shit! Steve had only ever that horny for someone in public in the relative privacy of a club bathroom stall. Anyone could've joined them in that elevator, hell there might've been someone in there with them, he didn't think there was but he couldn't remember. They were lucky they hadn't been arrested! Anywhere else and they might've been, but luckily Vegas was well known as the City of Sin. Hopefully, the hotel security were just used to it.

There was steam pouring from the bathroom by the time he'd pulled himself from his musings, the mirror above the sink showing nothing but a blurry outline of himself, not that he needed it to know he looked rough. The shower door, like the bathroom one, had purposefully been left wide open, steam billowing out along with Eddie's voice.

Because Eddie was singing, loud and angelic, over the sounds of the shower. It wasn't a song Steve recognised, something about the sun, the moon and a seal, Eddie could've been making it up for all he knew. Not that Steve cared, it was sublime. Pulling him in like a siren song, Steve couldn't help himself, he just kept inching closer.

And as heavenly as Eddie’s voice was, which was truly one of the most exquisite voices Steve had ever heard. It was nothing in comparison to the vision Steve was greeted with as he finally reached the shower. Eddie had his head tipped back, rinsing Steve's expensive shampoo out of his hair, the length of his neck alone had Steve salivating. There was a little tattoo poking out from under his earlobe that was practically begging to be investigated. And a single freckle sitting just to the left of his sternum that he felt the overwhelming urge to lick.

Steve didn't get more than a cursory glance at the rest of him because it was then that Eddie straightened up as though he'd sensed Steve's presence. As he wiped the excess water from his face with his hands, Steve noticed that Eddie had removed all of his rings except the shiny gold band that joined them, almost like he hadn't wanted to take it off.

Another vision came to him, of him sliding that very ring onto Eddie's finger, of him taking Eddie's hand and kissing the still cold metal, glancing up at a grinning, misty-eyed Eddie through his lashes, an overwhelming surge of joy exploding through his chest.

It made Steve giddy and he was suddenly unable to wipe the stupid smile off his face, Eddie beamed back, warm and inviting, little droplets of water catching in his eyelashes from the pressure of the spray hitting his skin as he'd watched Steve remember.

The breath was knocked out of him when he immediately felt the overwhelming need to touch Eddie, to be in his space, to kiss him so thoroughly that neither of them knew where one of them began and the other one ended.

And Eddie must be some kind of mind reader because a truly mischievous look overtook his features as he reached out his ringed hand to Steve's to yank him under the torrent and into his arms, giggling cheekily when he pushed Steve back against the freezing cold shower wall, happily swallowing Steve's shocked gasp.

Part 2

[jocelynscrazyideas]

Just friends? pt. 2 | Matt Rempe x Reader

pt. 1

Summary: making your way up to your dream job was difficult, but leaving it may be harder that ever.

Warnings: language, small portion of smut, eating, THE NOTEBOOK IS MENTIONED😛🥲

A:N- it’s really short but yuhh

━━━✦❘༻༺❘✦━━━

It’s been a good month of dating my bestfriend. I’m just scared that if anything goes wrong, that we wouldn’t be the same.

I’ve understood that when or I should say, If we breakup, we of course won’t be friends, but I wnat to talk. Keep up in life. Support him.

Matt has made it clear that it’s me, and only me. I know, dating an nhl player will be hard, because there is always someone out there thinking your boyfriend is cute.

“Dumper?” Matt calls out for me. I’m getting ready in his bathroom. Today, it’s the first day in off season. The rangers had won the third round of playoffs, but we didn’t make it to the end.

You might be wondering why Matt calls me dumper. It’s a long story, taht im glad to walks down with you.

~memory~

“Matt!” I groan as he thrusts into one last time. He releases into me, I feel I’m going to cum as well.

“You cum dump.” Matt laughs out. He cleans us up, and stands up to throw the tissues he used to clean up away. “I do not!” I yell out, I know I do. It makes sense to me.

Why would I cum in like five different times if I feel I’m going to release at one time?

Matt comes down onto me and kissed me from my knee up. He hits my neck and sucks down until I feel nothing.

“Nice hickey.” He chirps at me.

“Oh yeah? I wonder wher i hit it from.” I sarcastically joke with him. He gets hurts from that and lays down on my bare chest.

His brown hair all over.

It’s dark. Bedroom lights are off and the only thing lighting the house is the stars.

He cuddles into me for a few hours while I talk and yap about school, and when I should get my job.

~

“Where are you?” Matt yells for me.

“Bathroom! I have the interview today!” I let Matt know that I’m fully booked, and don’t have time for him.

“Well can we watch a movie tonight? Play some uno!” Matt asked me as he walks into the bathroom. His warm chest connects like a puzzle into my back. He leans into me and kissed my neck. He lays his fluffy hair into the crook of my neck. “I love you.” Matt whispers into my ear.

“Three months.” I say. I pushed him off my shoulder and cussed at him.

“Hey shithwsd?” I laugh at him.

“Hm?” Matt moans in his sleepy voice.

“Go shower. I’ll drive you down to the office.” I follow up. Matt has locker clean out today, many last minute interviews and press conferences.

~

I dropped Matt off at the arena and sat in my car.

Maybe he’s the one for me. The one guy that I won’t mess up with.

~

“Hey baby! How was the interview?” Matt asked me as I walk into the kitchen. Matt is cooking us some dinner and I set my purse down. I fall on the couch.

“That bad?” Matt questioned.

I felt my heart drop. How do I tell him, “No it was good… it’s the fact they don’t have an official employment spot for me here in New York. If I took the job, I would have to move to Wyoming.”

Yeah, no.

“Um, it went pretty well.” I replied, my high pitched cracky voice squeaked out. I think Matt knows I’m stressed. I’m sure I have actual sweat droplets swimming down in my face.

“You’re lying.” Matt looked down at me. He standing above me form the couch.

“No im not.” I laugh out. I stand up and dance with him back to the kitchen.

“Oh my love. My little baby.” I say as I rest my head into his chest. He smiles down at me and he picks me up.

“Give me.” Matt gestured to my foot as he set me down on the counter top.

I eye the stove that he left on. “What are we eating tonight?” I ask him. I try to distract myself.

God. Maybe I shouldn’t take the job.

He looks back at the side over his shoulder, and continues to take off my left shoe. My right foot is hanging and I kick him.

“Oh, uh I made some eggs, just so we could eat some toast and eggs. I was lazy, sorry.” Matt explained. He turned red in embarrassment.

“No. It’s perfect.” It’s the little things. I have to take things into consideration, not just the fact he does big gestures. He does this small thing that matters to me. Like, cooking dinner every night. Or just listening to me talk. Even if he doesn’t care, or deep down isn’t listening, he still looks like he cares.

Matt smirked and he dropped my left foot, only to un tie my right shoe. Once he finished he picked me up and kissed me. “What movie?” Matt asked me as I sit in our couch.

He plates everything into a large bowl and hands me a few slices of apples. “You’d be such a great dad.” I muttered.

“I’m sorry. A father?!” Matt exclaimed. He looks me up and down, smirking. Teeth out. His eyes look at me, I feel him leaving closer.

He grips onto a blanket as he sits down on the couch right beside me.

He turns the TV on to play the notebook.

~

I cried at the en of the movie. Matt holds me as he sleeps in my arms. He snores and he shakes as I weep and cry.

Matt looks up as his head rested on my breasts. “Are you okay? Why are you crying?” Matt mumbled. He rubs his eyes once he kissed my left boob.

He gets up and puts out dishes away. He cleans up the couch, and picks me up. “The movie that sad?” Matt asked me. I understand this season was hard so I let him sleep during the movie.

“You’ve never watched The Notevook?” I inferred, I look outside our window and Matt sets me down.

“I have, but I always fall asleep.” He looks at me and he pulls his clothes off. He’s left in his under set and I do the same. I unclamp my bra and lay in bed. I slide my panties off and lick them to the floor.

Matt fliers with me and he tightens his arms around me.

“I love you.” Matt reminded me, for the hundredth time.

“I have to move, if I take the job.” I let out.

Matt loosens his grip and he breaths in. “So take the job.” He said.

“It’s hard, but we can always fly out together.” Matt implied. We lay in bed. Not thinking about anything, well other than the fact I could leave.

Right when life gets good.

[beatrixstonehill2]

"Are you sure you'll be OK, darling?" Vallery's dad asked.

"Of course, I will! Like I said I'm happy to pay the bills, don't worry about it."

"But you sure you aren't getting overworked? That belly's getting big, sweetheart."

"Daddy, if you're so worried why not come in and watch! The director won't mind."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course!"

"Thank you for doing this, dear.... I know it's not exactly what you had in mind a couple years ago."

"As much as I wanted to be a vet, this is way more fun! And like I keep telling you guys, you're getting older, I understand that you want me paying the bills so you can retire! Now come on...."

"I know, I'm just nervous seeing this, the way you come home sometimes, it looks brutal...."

"Stop whining!" Vallery dragged her dad into the house, where ten burly, muscular men waited, along with a male director and his crew. Vallery kissed the director on both cheeks, introducing her dad. The director shook his hand, telling him what a natural talent Vallery was, that it's so rare to find girls down to do almost anything and she was eager to do anything no matter how extreme. He said he was really proud of Vallery, watching from behind the crew.

The director called, "Action!" and the scene commenced with four of the men dragging Vallery inside as she fought, telling them to let go, that she was pregnant. The men said nothing, only grunting or chuckling or panting as they proceeded to pull off her dress and take turns fucking her as Vallery convincingly played the unwilling victim, crying and begging for them to stop, to not hurt her or 'all the kids in her belly'. They only got more aggressive, passing her around, fucking her pussy and ass. Soon the other six men joined and Vallery struggled more, only for one guy to smack her face and tell her to be a good girl.

Soon they eased her in, continuing to pound away, fucking her body as they held her up, suspended off the floor. They smacked her belly and Vallery writhed. They spanked her and smacked her breasts repeatedly. Soon they were throat fucking her until she puked all over herself, smiling as they pulled out, saying it felt kind of nice being treated this way...... By the hour mark, Vallery's character was 100% into everything, giggling, moaning, and encouraging them with her new black eye. Frantically telling the men to keep going, to destroy her pregnant body, to beat her up, to hit her all they wanted until she was barely recognizable. And they did. The men tortured and beat up Vallery, continuing to throat fuck her, punch her belly and face, piss on her, all as Vallery moaned like a good whore, giggling playfully as her body was beaten to a pulp and fucked raw. The video ended with the crew driving out to a random fast food place, and the men tossing her brutalized body on a mountain of trash in one of the dumpers, zooming on Vallery's face as she drooled, face swollen and bloodied, barely recognizable, as her character hoped. She softly moaned, mindlessly fondling her bruised, swollen sex, saying, "I hope someone else finds me and has even more fun with me." She looked right into the camera. "I wish it was you."

"Cut!" the director said, and Vallery climbed out of the dumpster as the director joked, "Covered in trash, beaten to a pulp, bruised, and covered in piss and cum, that's a good look for you, Vallery."

"I know!" she giggled. "I bet I've never looked prettier, wouldn't you say, daddy?" she asked her dad, who was silently watching.

"Of course.... pumpkin. You've never looked more beautiful."

"Mmmm, I'm glad you agree, daddy!"

The director used his phone in selfie mode to show Vallery what she looked like. "Here, feast your eyes."

Vallery beamed like a woman getting shown a wedding ring. She looked her bruised and beaten body all over, her puffy swollen face, one eye totally blocked by it, a few teeth missing. "Holy fuck, I look so hot!" She gave her belly a good smack. "God I look incredible! Gotta post to Instagram asap!" she practically squealed.

The director placed his hand on the shoulder of Vallery's dad. "Don't worry, we'll cover her medical expenses as usual if she needs anything. A few new teeth as usual. You raised a hell of a girl, there. I bet you're proud, I know I would be."

"Yeah...." her dad said, suddenly smiling. "I've never been more proud of her. Can't wait to see her work when she's full term. Maybe I'll buy her a set of fake tits for you guys to stress test?"

"It'd be my pleasure. That girl's got a long career ahead of her...."

[graciecatfamilyband]

The Info-Dumpers who Love Characters Website is totally sleeping on the best Info-Dumping Character of All Time:

Jade Daniels, the 17 year-old half-indigenous girl from Stephen Graham Jones’ My Heart is a Chainsaw.

In everyone’s defense, character-driven slow-burn literary fiction that is also a slasher (stab stab 🔪🔪🩸) is a hard genre to sell. Many of us who love one part of this equation don’t love the other.

But Jade has captured my whole chainsaw ♥️, and I CANNOT be normal about it. Jade has never met a person at whom she wasn’t willing to spout random facts that they have exhibited no interest in. She can bring ANYTHING back around to connect to her hyperfixation which is, coincidentally, slasher movies. And she is the most vivid, alive, real-to-me protagonist I have ever encountered. Because of the way she hyperfixates and info dumps, not in spite of it. (Which surely says something about me but again, I am among friends on this webbed site!)

Jade makes completely normal, totally hinged choices like:

(When we the audience are first introduced to her) Going up to a group of construction workers having a trash fire in the middle of the night and being like, “If we were in a slasher right now, this is what the plot line would be. Also, have some random slasher movie facts.” (Their response: Are you okay? You seem like you are not okay.)

Writing extra credit essays for her history teacher about the tropes and conventions of the slasher genre. For four years. Not what he asked for, but what he got. (These essays are included in the book and are a godsend for those of us who are not already slasher fans! They literally help the reader understand the story beats as they unfold, while simultaneously giving life to Jade’s voice and helping us understand what makes her tick.)

Deciding the New Girl At School has all the qualities of a Final Girl, the slasher film trope in which there is one girl left alive to confront the killer and stop the slasher cycle.

Trying to warn the New Girl At School that she is going to be The Final Girl, by putting a VHS copy of the 1971 slasher Bay of Blood and all of Jade’s slasher extra credit essays in her mailbox. With a note. A note that says that she is going to be The Final Girl in a slasher cycle that seems to be starting up. (Jade is just trying to help! So helpful.)

Of course, the core of this novel is: What is going on with Jade? After all, she actually wants a slasher cycle to start in her town. (She also wants the slasher cycle to be stopped at the proper moment, to ensure that the vengeance of the slasher is balanced by the justice of the Final Girl.) She does not see herself as a possible Final Girl, but she is willing to help the richer, prettier, more appropriate classmate who she thinks is that girl. Why, why, why?

To be clear, the novel does not posit that something must be wrong with a person to be intensely, obsessively interested in something or for that thing to be horror- even slashers! But Jade’s behavior is, like I said, not entirely hinged, even for a slasher fan. Something must be up.

The novel gives us all the clues we need to peel back the layers of what’s really happening, and when truths are revealed, everything just *clicks.* Themes are introduced and then reinforced on multiple levels. There is a bear. 🐻 (The bear is the not the slasher.)

And throughout, Jade gets to be fully-human and fully seven-fucking-teen. Even though she is on the cusp of adulthood, she is still a child, and a wounded one at that. (Her wounds in no way fucking diminish her.)  Her judgment is often impaired. Her actions are often questionable. Her hair-dye jobs gets so bad, even she thinks its gross. She is so alive, and so deserving of love. 🥹 

I love her.

I would fight for her.

I desperately want to make soup for her, and let her tell me about the Scream franchise (I do not care about the Scream franchise), and give her a safe place to sleep. Even if doing so makes it way more likely that I’m about to get murdered.

Jade Fucking Daniels. My chainsaw-hearted, info-dumping hero protagonist. I salute you, my final girl.

[gy4rucartman]

general goth kids hcs pt1!! henri and firkle will have their own post

michael:

The poetic one.

asian on both sides, himalayan-south asian and vietnamese mix. doesnt believe in gender, i like various hcs where hes gnc amab or afab it doesnt matter to me though i usually depict a transmasculine michael. Socially inept but has a burning desire to make more friends in an attempt to strengthen the Goth circle/community, but sucks at making new friends truthfully. autistic, schizophrenic. grows up to be a 6'6 giant that hits his head on doorways and has to hunch a lot. ace/grey and holds a secret undying love for pete but would rather cut his throat out than ever confess it. He channels it in poetry, song lyrics, and music. THE INFO DUMPER OF THE GROUP Gothness is almost a special interest to him and he knows way too much on the subject, comes off as a pretentious know it all but it comes from a genuine place of love and interest. Genuinely beautiful singing voice and a good musician. Grows up to be a professor either in theology or philosophy (so he can be a certified know it all of course). he def grows into his features as he grows up and becomes pretty beautiful as an adult, but Michael never cared for conventional standards of beauty or how he fit into it. Henrietta was Michaels first goth friend but he prior attempted to be close with those in the asian communities of south park, it didnt really work out since he was always an outsider. The only fairly close nongoth friend of his was the DDR kid from the dance off episode. Has general anger issues!!!

Pete:

the sensitive one

Japanese but he doesnt know much about his family. I like to think hes also just Japanese or mixed with something but doesnt know what that side is yet. raised by his grandparents and aunt or something, but probably has a single dad that is constantly working so he didnt spend that much time with him. Grew up very poor and romanticized simple things+older things and enjoyed daydreaming more than anything. Musically inept and sounds like a dying bird but the goths never shoot him down for it, except maybe Henrietta because shes allowed to. Visually artistic, paints surrealist/fine art pieces and makes crafts on ocassion. Insecure in his gothness and in himself and as a result he barks back the most at others. probably 5'3 forever, acne all over, nails bitten to hell, lips too, probably thin hair and kind of lost as to what he wants to do in the future--but he cooks pretty well out of survival which lands him a line cook job later on. hes a romantic and loves romantic era literature, much to everyone's ('Cept Michael..) dismay. Michael was the one to recruit him and all the goths pitched in to buy Pete new clothes and to live at least aesthetically somewhat happier than he was prior. Pete recruits Firkle later on additionally but all the goths have a hand in making sure he grows up with the right ideas. Pete doesn't necessarily have anger issues but hes deeply insecure and easy to react so he comes off as the hotheaded one in the group, when in truth Michael and Henrietta harbor far more internal anger issues.

[pinkandpurple360]

whats funny about asmodeus in demonology is that (with the exception of sarah), hes actually one of the more chill demons. less malevolent spirit and more huge troll. like he overthrows king solomon for funsies and fucks his mom before getting his ass whooped. hes so intelligent that heaven, earth, and hell alike let him visit to study at their schools. his greatest weakness? is fish (?).

and hes one of the few demons to show compassion towards humans, to an extent. in the talmud theres one story where he sees a wedding and cries and you assume its bc he hates love, but its bc he had a vision that the groom would die and leave his young wife a devastated widow for the rest of her days. he also helps guide a blind man who would have fell just bc he felt that he didnt deserve it (and then the same thing with a drunk guy but for less altruistic reasons - he was like “if i help him god will look favorably on me” lol). in scriptures, hes credited with granting humans luck, knowledge, health, and, of course, great sex. some texts and modern pagans describe him as a protector of women, and theorize that he may have been “protector” of sarah (in a fucked up way, ofc)

tl;dr if one of the sins is going to be a “nicer” demon/chaotic neutral, asmodeus actually makes a lot of sense based on mythology

(sorry for the infodump i love weird demonology facts, and am disappointed viv doesnt really use them outside of aesthetics)

That actually does sound like Ozzies characterisation in some ways. I always love reading info like this~ I too am an info dumper after all

He’s silly and he’s oblivious at times, but somehow more intelligent and observant than most, protective, very passionate, and will make fun of others for not pleasuring women. “Get a load of this dweeb and his unsatisfied bride” one of my favourite lines. I hope he is later shown to be protective and chivalrous towards women because we could really use a character like that in the show. It’ll break my heart a lil if he ever calls a woman a bitch.

I think magician was a pretty good choice for his place in the circus troupe. This dude loves pranks and roasting people, his stories about the wedding, Sarah, and the blind man are genuinely tear jerking I’ll have to research them.

Um anon…think about what you just said because…the Eternal Bachelor has that title for a reason, he seems hostile towards love and is an immortal being who is with a mortal s/o, one who he is extremely protective over. Remember when he said “baby, all I got is time” ? Oh no..Ozzie you’re such a tragic character

On a lighter note…

Did you just say his weakness was…

Fish?

FISH???

VEROSIKA YOU ARE SO FIRED FOR THIS ONE

forget your use of obvious aphrodisiacs and trances

If they ever make a callback to this scene, and have Ozzie having a freak out about it I’ll die cause it’ll be so goddamn funny. Don’t forget humans caught this on camera.

[shallowseeker]

Happy Friday!! Who from tfw 2.0 is the most sensitive to media spoilers?

It's Dean, of course, but the twist is that he doesn't want you spoiling things...for Cas. He wants to see Cas's reaction to the thing!

I have fun opinions on other TV-watching quirks. Although Dean doesn't want you to spoil, he and Cas both chatter, sometimes incessantly, during movies. They have little judgy one-off conversations about random things. Dean often spoils any tension with, "Here it comes, here it comes. Cas, Cas, Cas, watch this part!" Dean also gives you cool factoids about the actors or how the movie was made. Cas delivers short, to-the-point corrections to scientific facts and history, and Dean hangs off his every word. "That's not very accurate, Dean."

Sam is the deliverer of spoilers. In Sam's mind, spoilers are actually good, because that way, you can decide if said thing is actually worth your time. Sam makes a bitch face and gets all huffy whenever Dean and Cas talk during movies, but he's also an info-dumper that talks. Hypocritically, he becomes Sam-pedia during movies. He's like those specials with the pop-up bubbles, where they pepper unnecessary background info as the movie goes, but Sam gives it about history, culture, and anthropology, and unlike Dean and Cas, he's way more longwinded about it. Like a lecturer.

Jack is the odd man out here. He doesn't like spoilers, and he tires of all the talking during movies. One day, he's had it, but instead of blurting out, "GUYS, SHUT UP," he simply gets up, crosses the room, unhooks the HDMI cable from the laptop, and leaves with said laptop to lock himself in his room.

[nicascurls]

How the triplets are when they’re buzzed/tipsy/drunk

Glen: Lightweight, says “I love you” to everyone, compliments anyone they see, extreme hugger even more than usual, will throw up

Glenda: Insists they’re not drunk, will try to fight anyone that even looks at them wrong, brutally honest, will pass out on a table by the end of the night

Junior: Really giggly and smiley, wants cuddles, oversharer and trauma dumper, doesn’t want to drink water to sober up but wants fast food, also a complimenter

Completely accurate.

Glen and Junior both get very affectionate although, Junior can also have random bursts of being impulsive or doing something incredibly stupid that he considers a good idea.

Glenda forewarned Nica that Glen usually ends up throwing up. They also complained "Of course it has to be them that throws up when they have such long hair."

Glenda's just ready for a fight. Sober, they tend to be more subtle about it, but that goes out the window once they've started drinking.

[qualitystart]

so you have any crash course information on them so I'm not totally lost please? if not it's ok!

okay so. the starting point, if you have the time, is the utterly phenomenal Dorktown History of the Seattle Mariners. that'll take you through 2020. the extremely excellent mariners blog Lookout Landing also has some great history posts.

but you don't just want history, I assume - you want to know about the Mariners now. I'll try to cover as many of them as I can below the cut.

there's Julio, who took the world by storm as a rookie last year. here's a great piece on him from last fall - spoiler alert, they did end the drought. he also vlogs!

J.P. - heart and soul, o captain my captain. here's a great LL piece on him.

and his parter in crime, Ty, golden retriever in human form. you gotta see their dynamic in action: In-N-Out Burger trip, Starbucks adventure

Geno (of Casey's url fame) - "good vibes only," making Gold Glove plays every day, and an important leader

Jarred - in the words of @eugeniosuarez, "gifted child syndrome and a mood disorder but he loves his friends." currently on the IL because he kicked a water cooler after a frustrating strikeout. (he was gutted, and crying in his media availability. he cares about this team so fucking much.) his face when he's happy lights up the world.

Cal (a.k.a Big Dumper) - our incredible, talented, big-assed young catcher who rakes and works SO hard every day

Logan - very good pitcher, shaped like an inflatable tube man, undrafted out of high school and made himself a first-rounder anyway

Logan and Cal came up together and are rich with narratives, which I have detailed here.

Cabby - will annoy the SHIT out of the other team. uses the pitch clock to his advantage like no one else. in the words of the poet:

our other catcher is Murph - got a bit of the crazy eyes, we love him, he even can cartwheel!

the bullpen! here's a great LL piece - Gott has since been traded to the Mets, but he lives on in our hearts and Sauce pours one out for him before every game

and our de facto closers:

Matt Brash, who's got some nasty stuff, and Andrés Muñoz, who is very baby and throws gas

(previously we had Paul Sewald, who was traded at the deadline - good baseball move, but tough to see him go)

I am gettin sleepy and I haven't even covered most of the rotation - 2023 All Stars George Kirby and Luis Castillo, rookies Bryce Miller and Bryan Woo, plus we've got Robbie Ray and Marco on the IL (both out for the year) - so I may come back to edit this later, I'll rb it if I do.

feel free to hit me up with more questions any time, and I'm sure @eugeniosuarez and @jockcoded would be happy to answer some too - we all love telling people about the Mariners

[kaaaaaaarf]

3, 11 (hatefuck and museum), and 20 (murder husbands) please <3

Hello Lynx!! ✨

3. As a writer, are you an evil dictator, a ship captain, a trauma dumper, a mad scientist, a carefree hedonist, or a vengeful rogue?

I feel like probably a mad scientist. The way I sit here and cackle when I'm writing....

11. What would the lovechild of [Hatefuck] and [Museum] be like?

Dear God. Well. Remus would still be a paleontologist and Sirius would work in the gift shop, but they actually meet at a staff social at a local pub. Sirius asks Remus if he can buy him a Stella for the next round and Remus just rolls his eyes at him and tells him he can't take anyone seriously who wears a Pterodactyl tshirt. "I bet you think a Pterodactyl is a dinosaur. No thanks, I'll get my own drink." The next day Sirius finds out that Remus was the one who decided that Wendisaurus should be named as such and promptly decides Remus is an enemy for life. They end up fucking in the Bat cave at the museum, and it all snowballs from there.

20. Style [Murder Husbands] in a cute little outfit.

Oooh okay. I'm thinking some combo of Remus and Sirius, so there would be an AC/DC crop top, combined with an oversized burgundy sweater vest, and baggy light blue jeans. Converse for shoes (of course) and some sort of spiked dog collar for fashion (and practical purposes). A leather jacket would top off the whole outfit, and of course the speckles of blood that stained on everything.

VERY NORMAL FIC WRITER ASKS

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

HELLO AGAIN: IT IS I, THE BUTTHOLE ENTHUSIAST.

Now, you've told us all about Aemond's pristine, silver-sheened balloon knot (that NEVER shits obviously, what a peasant thing to do). But what I need to know - with the yearning of a thousand suns, mind you - is centred around our favourite old coot with the ass that won't quit.

What is Daemon Targaryen's asshole like?

Firstly, does he shit? Does he smush that daddy dumper onto the privy hole, spread those enormous cheeks and sigh with sweet release as he pushes that almighty turd outta his cocoa canyon? Secondly, what does this perfect man's equally perfect chocolate starfish look like? Is it perfectly wrinkly to match his saggy GILF ballsack? Does it have those gorgeous silver curls encrusted of course with stray crud from his lordly logs? Is he partial to having that asspussy eaten like it's the last meal his plebian partner will ever eat? Tell me everything.

Sincerely, the Representative from DAWC

(Daemon's Ass Worshipping Cult)

I've had to make my way through this ask in stages. Every time I read a sentence I have to walk away to clutch my chest and stomach while my body is wracked by uncontrollable laughter. My throat hurts, my lungs hurt and my cheeks are sore. This in particular fucking winded me for a good five minutes:

Does he smush that daddy dumper onto the privy hole, spread those enormous cheeks and sigh with sweet release as he pushes that almighty turd outta his cocoa canyon?

Anyway, onwards to Daemon's asshole...

We'll address the most important issue first and that is that yes, Daemon does shit. Daemon does not possess that pristine facade that Aemond does, he is a man of depravity. Daemon not only shits, but he enjoys the act itself. If he's indulged in a particularly large meal the night before, he'll take a book or a scroll in with him, smush that juicy dumper around the privy hole and just make a fucking day of it. He especially enjoys making other people uncomfortable with his toilet exploits. Let's say, for instance, Ser Criston Cole is waiting to use the privy while Daemon is in there. This no fucks to give dom daddy will come out after he's had brown down, clap Criston on the back and say "I'd give it 5 minutes if I were you, Ser Crispin" while looking smug as fuck and dramatically wafting whatever reading material he's chosen to take in with him. What a hero.

Daemon's balloon knot is an abundance of wrinkles, that match his saggy old coot nutsack. This hole has seen some shit, quite literally. It has spent a life time pushing out the remnants of rich foods, had a myriad of whore tongues swipe across it and the occasional finger inserted, so it's well used. He's not loose by any means though - his farts still sound tight enough to know his anus is far from being a windsock. It's probably that weird brownish colour that old men's dick and balls seem to turn as they get older.

Daemon's ringpiece is has a few stray brown pubes around it (his carpet doesn't match the drapes), but they are dangleberry free - he ensures that the servants responsible for cleaning him up once he's finished dumping up the privy do a thorough job.

He is partial to anilingus. He'll be more vocal about it if his partner finds it squicky and uncomfortable, as he gets off on the power dynamic and taboo of having such an area serviced. On the other hand, if his partner is super into it and chowing down on his hole like it's a bowl of pudding then he'll let slip the occasional curse word while he pounds his cock like it owes him money.

I hope you have found my answer to be informative.

Give yourself a pat on the back if you've made it this far.

[proudautisticcomrade]

The many Skulls of the Lurid Crypt

I am one of the overseers (players) of this succession fortress organized by @dorfposting And I succeeded the Dwarf from @impossiblepackage first, then @jv to finally me. Here is my story of Ërtongnòm - Gerbilgod

First of Granite, year 152 in the fortress Ërtongnòm: Gerbilgod

After stumbling along searching for my mountain-home, I, overseer Erika, daughter of Hawks, found the fabled Ërtongnòm.

Two things about the fortress that caught my immediate attention was the impressive stockpile of foodstuff. A good abundance to ensure our citizens are well-fed. The other thing was the smell however…

Understanding the discomfort miasma would bring to a fortress, and with discomfort brings temper tantrums, I instructed our miners, the Dwarves Ber and Mistêm, to dig out the dumping pit a little deeper. A crude solution, but one that will suffice until magma becomes our servant.

And in ensuring that refuse and other garbage is to be dumped, I ordered the Dwarf Besmar Närèrith, our fisherdwarf, to specialize in trash collecting so that the only labor they are concerned about, other than fishing, is to ensure our fortress’ stink does not sicken us all. Then I asked Goden Shedlok the Herbalist to specialize hauling food, so that our carefully prepared meals do not go to spoil and spoil all of our moods.

Hopefully, the Dwarves’ other labors do not hinder their new found responsibilities too much.

11’th of Granite

An Elven caravan had just arrived on the morning. They didn’t carry too much, nor was anything too valuable, save the fruits, vegetables and nuts. I felt that the necessary course of action was to simply ignore our nature-protector friends. Afterall, our stockpiles are more than sufficient.

We would find better trading partners later in the year, I’m sure of it.

25’Th of Granite

Looking at the state of the Dwarven Bunks, I decided the best course of action, while the fortress was cleaning up, was to set up personal furniture for the dwarves, so they may have personal coffers to hang up their clothing or other objects of subjective value.

I have the dwarves use the available shale to set up these stone workshops, one will focus production on cabinets, the other on coffers, and the final one on doors.

With the abundance of Rock Salt, and my reluctance to use economic stone for anything other than steel production, I ordered the furniture to be made of rock salt. Not the best material in my not so humble opinion, but us Dwarves make do with what we got. Perhaps when we have more migrants come in, be it this year or the next, we may assign them masons to work specifically on these tasks. But for now, this is work available for anyone.

6’th of Slate

Besmar has been spotted working on refuse removal, yet, most times I spot her praying fervently to her Gods, meditating on their spheres of influence. Though I am not one to get in the way of others’ personal beliefs, I find her lack of work disturbing. Had I any extra laborers, surely this would be no issue, but I must rely on her solely to dump refuse without sacrificing the other Dwarves’ work.

I am happy to report that no complaints of miasma have been announced by any of the Dwarves. So at least we have that.

21’st of Slate

I spoke too soon about the Miasma situation, I turned a corner to check on the bunks, and I find the purple clouds of miasma torturing the animals. The remains of Crundles continue to rot as our dumper continues to pray. 

1st of Felsite

Ask and ye shall receive. Migrants have arrived.

Now our humble fortress of 28 (including monster hunters) is boosted to a modest 59

More children arrived with their parents. Which means more haulers, which hopefully means more refuse dumping. 

Now a new task was set forth, to house all these new workers, for our glorious fortress.

At Elevation Level: (-7) going downwards, I set up mining orders to rapidly set up new housing for the Dwarves as well as any bunks for future migrant waves.

11’th of Felsite

Let it be known, on this day, the farmers of Ërtongnòm have petitioned for a guildhall for the Farmer’s Guild named: “The Guild of Meadows”

In other news, I have switched the children’s chores away from most hauling activity to refuse hauling, in order to better streamline the sanitation process of the fortress. There are poor moods across the board so I hope the construction of the guild will help build the morale of the citizens.

I felt that in honor of a Dwarven Farmer’s Guild, the Hall itself could resemble that of a Plump Helmet. When the final touches of the fortress have been completed (Dug out, smoothed, with some furnishing), we will boast our finished product for all to see (on Tumblr).

22’nd of Felsite

May Lumnum, God of The Stars and Freedom, watch over us. A fearsome beast approaches.

The Worst of these troubles: we only just noticed this beast towards our gate (Because I was only notified as it transformed near our entrance). I pray that the monster hunters, with the aid of our cage traps, can defeat this creature before any of our citizens die, or worse, become infected. 

I haphazardly set up a burrow called the Panic Room in the Oily Chestnut and a small space where the lever is so that a dwarf may press it before the monster can invade… hopefully.

23’rd of Felsite 

Our Prayers are answered, Stinthäd Melbilastel, the were-lizard (and not a citizen btw) has worn off her transformation. Which now gives us ample ability to destroy her. Though I pity her and her curse, I cannot allow such a threat to exist near our fortress endangering our proud citizens and those lazy monster hunters who did nothing. I organized a small militia of Dwarves to deal with this threat. Even though we had no military equipment, we at least had numbers. Finally, with no casualty to us (no injuries or deaths) we walk off in mourning of this poor soul. The least we could do is engrave a slab in memoriam. 

26’th of Felsite

I would like to personally congratulate comrade ‘jv’ for their victory in the fortress elections. You represent the will of the people, may you lead us to glory!

By the gods’ very flame, one of our children has been afflicted with a strange mood! I eagerly await the artifact young Urdim Cilobrulush will create!

They claimed one of the Craftdwarf workshops on the main floor, and has been seen hauling giant mole bones to their shop.

Five Days Later…

Finally, I turned my attention towards the merchants, and decided against purchasing any foods or such, but did trade for some leathers in bins. Having leather fashioned into cloaks, I believe, would give our military dwarves some extra protection.

3’rd of Malachite

A little outside the Tavern is the entranceway to the housing facilities for our Dwarves. Mud marks the path forward and I found it appropriate to till out some farm plots for more cavern diet variety. It completely slipped my mind to build additional bunks for so many new Dwarves. So I immediately worked to remedy that. I also started to commission more furnishing for our veteran Dwarves, the dwarves that were here before the wave. Though fortress life is hard, a comfort here and there can make it all worth it.

15’th of Malachite

The worshippers of Lumnum, who band together as “The Tenebrous Order,” have requested for the construction of a temple in service to the God of The Stars and Freedom. A small temple, humble and non-obstructive to our time, could be arranged. Though I’m not too religious myself, I recognize the faith of the people in their gods, and I hope morale could be raised by this new holy site. Very well my Dwarves, construction is underway.

Because Lumnum is the God of The Stars as well as Freedom, I thought the best way to honor that sphere of influence was to design the temple in the shape of a five-pronged star. I’ll commision some statues of copper in the image of Lumnum to decorate the temple. 

11’th of Galena

And now we find ourselves with yet another uninvited guest to our territory. Mostly unarmored Dwarves position themselves behind the drawbridge, and I bring the monster hunters out of their comfort zone to help defend our fortress. Our soldiers, due to the armor not yet being fully forged, are mostly unprotected, with only Hammers to keep them safe.

I lead our Dwarves onwards to battle. Unfortunately, not every Dwarf had heard the call to the Tavern and several children were playing in the mud outside. So, bravely, I led our soldiers to dispose of this garbage, and swiftly, the threat was taken care of, with only one fatality.

Unfortunately, one of our soldiers, young Mörul Likottorad was lost during the conflict. We know not their whereabouts, but we assume the worst. Due to the missing nature of the body, we will engrave a memorial slab in her honor. Go to the ancestors lost hero, your struggles are over. 

Haphazardly, I arranged for a hospital to be built on the main floor. Though our casualties were minimal, some Dwarves, like our siege operator Kulet Alisbesmer, had sustained some injuries, they for example had lost their ability to stand. We will need to commission some crutches, and our Chief Medical Dwarf (CMD) will need to treat their wounds.

1st of LimeStone

Now, don’t ask me how, but Kulet seems to have gotten better with minimal input. She wasn’t even on her last legs, she could barely stand, now here she is, working as if nothing traumatic happened. Ah well, Dwarves are just built differently. Construction of the Hospital is going well enough, we have some beds, a coffer to store our medical supplies, and I am building a Soap Maker’s Workshop inside the hospital so we may be able to clean wounds in the future. This really should’ve been something I built first, but better late than never. Across the Hospital, where the training barracks are, I am constructing a Bedroom, an Office/Dining Hall, and a set of prisons for the new Captain of the Guard, Minkot Datantoral/Ironlaw (I mean come on, with a name like that, why not?!). I also realized the mayor JV needed some extra effort into their living standards, being mayor and all. And why not, surely ImpossiblePackaged, for their labors as overseer, requires a new living standard. 

4th of Limestone

More child snatchers arrived, they ran away just as quickly. I pray for peace, my Dwarves have seen enough action.

14’th of Limestone

A Caravan from Litast Likot has arrived to Ërtongnòm. I seem to be getting what I want in terms of peace. So far, things have been relatively peaceful. The problem, I’ve been skimping out on the Fortress’s trade goods production, so as a result, we’re not trading for anything. Shameful, I’m aware, but with the formation of a militia, threats arriving to the fortress and trying to specialize workers into other industries I deemed important for the time, it just slipped my mind. 

15’th of Limestone

A day later and the liaison offers us a barony. Though my thoughts on the nobility are less than flattering, I recognize this is a huge prestige for us Dwarves. So, in honor of their labors in guiding us to this mountain home, I felt it necessary to award comrade ImpossiblePackaged the title of Baron. Glory to our eternal fortress! For my successor, i ordered us some subterranean plant seeds and spawn as well as extra logs for bed production. Make use of this as you will, honored overseer. They want, in return, bracelets, and are offering a 196% increase to purchase any the next time they visit. I’ll commission some bracelets for the fortress and encrust them with gemstones. The future looks bright for us. Glory to the Future!

21’st of Limestone

So, for reasons beyond my comprehension, it did not occur to me to check the finished goods bins for trade goods. Fortunately, the liaison has not left us, so I sent our broker to trade. After considerable trading, and feeling a little ripped off, I bought the fortress additional provisions to ensure its survival. I also purchased bins of different cloths and bags of seeds and spawns. We can craft more goods to replenish our loss and use the new silks/yarn-cloth/plant-cloth/leather to dress our citizens into something fresher.

18’th of Sandstone

 It’s been an uneventful Autumn as of yet. A long while ago when constructing the trash pit, we ran into some semi-molten rock. This could indicate magma below. Right now, coke is becoming a rarity, so magma forges and smelters could be very helpful to us economically necessary. The magma sea was discovered, now to figure out pumps, or move metalsmithing operations downwards. This also means our dumping pit for trash no longer will emit a smell, because the magma will burn it all! So long miasma, you purple cloud of anxiety!

22nd of Sandstone

This is so far what I have for the new magma workshops that will mostly replace our need for refined coke. After the workshops are dug out with storage space, we’ll begin actually channeling into the sea for the forges and smelters. I did see some magma snakes and other nasties, hopefully this won’t present itself as too much of a problem, I may consider putting guard detail down to these depths.

23rd of Sandstone, or as I like to call it, as soon as I unpaused the game:

Made of water, no wonder you were forgotten. Although such an announcement scared me, I realized there was no real way for the monster to enter the fortress properly. It’s in the caverns, we have traps set up for this beast, and it’s made of water. I’ll set up a guard post with our war dog, but I think the monster hunters in the tavern are more than enough. 

1st of Timber

The great big ball of agua fled. Kinda hoping for a fight, but this is probably for the best. At least this means nobody dies. The miners continue to dig deep into the depths of this world. I am eager for some metal bars into our workers’ hands. We also just received a new migrant wave pushing our population from 69 to 77. We deconstructed the upstairs Metal Forges and Smelters. The anvils will be relocated to the lower levels and housing for our smiths will be located near the workshops. And then move the storages near there as well. Because the steel industry still needs carbon in order to forge steel, coke will still be located by the smelters.

10th of Timber

Do you think Armok hides in heaven because they too are far too tired to deal with all this? Our Dwarves do not like listening to burrow orders, so my only solution is to send soldiers to throw themselves at the enemy in order to deal with threats. Here’s hoping we don’t make more engraved slabs.

13th of Timber

No deaths!!! The giantess Istrath Absamistrath Muraktesum is dead by the hands of Mebzuth Athelilrom, the killer of the cyclops invader that resulted in the death of another Dwarf in the months prior. Truly, the title of Hero of Ërtongnòm is earned here.

26th of Timber

I dug out the forge shops and this thing came out of the rock. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!?!?! We are going to lose miners and gain some coffins and slabs. I have the soldiers guard a hallway that leads to the rest of the fortress so that the soldiers can regroup and not take this thing one at a time.

1st of Moonstone

There are so many casualties. That THING charged the blokade and killed seven soldiers (Including Mebzuth) and ten civilians. I ordered the Dwarves to wall off the forges. A vile siege of darkness has arrived to Ërtongnòm. Goblins charge the gates. The Gates are closing, whoever is outside is just going to have to fend for themselves, because we absolutely cannot defend ourselves. After more dwarves threw themselves to kill the fiend, thus killing themselves, the thing finally died, but we are out of soldiers. A vile force of Darkness has arrived. We have no soldiers, our workforce was cut by 27% and the winter has only just begun. The gates are closed. Armok save them, because I cannot.

16th of Moonstone

The baron, ImpossiblePackaged, was injured during the fight in their fight against Skullscrypt the Lurid, that maroon fiend that slaughtered much of our citizens. Though they killed the beast, they are left in critical condition that has already been patched up, and sutured. The only task left to do is to clean them up, lest they die of infection. A statue in honor of the death of the Lurid will be erected of course, but it will be a somber moment. Too many lives were lost thanks to that death machine.

19th of Moonstone

I’m not sure which of the Gods I’ve angered, but I'm going to assume I did something serious. This must be the third Forgotten Beast that has visited our fortress. We still haven’t been able to rebuild our militia, so I think it’s best to simply keep the gates closed, and never venture out into the wild.

20th of Moonstone

It got into the fortress. It came from the caverns and attacked our war dog first, then it set off our many stone traps. In a miraculous turn of events, it fell into the entrance of the garbage pit. A small hallway that is inaccessible to the rest of the fortress. So now we have a pet monster that I hope starves to death. In any case, I need to replace that dog. It served us well and will be remembered.

7th of Opal

Some Good news…finally. Likot Idudos, our mechanic, has entered a strange mood and is gathering goods for their latest artifact. I am excited about what new goody we may yet receive!

12th of Opal

Our Newest artifact! Though I would’ve preferred the creation of armor or a weapon, this artifact will truly be a delight to display around the fortress. Perhaps I’ll set it up in the guildhall or the temple, and allow those buildings to finally be complete.

4th of Obsidian

As I realize my tenure as overseer draws to a close, I look back at my progress here in the fortress of Gerbilgod. Could I have done better? I came here smelling the miasma, hoping to clean it. Then the migrants came to help, then the monster came to feed. We have no more coal to refine into coke, and thus, an end to our metal industry. To try to substitute, I awoken the slumber of a beast best left forgotten. My Dwarves, oh my precious Dwarves, will you ever forgive me? The gates remain closed. Perhaps the next overseer will find success in my downward descent into madness. I truly hope so, for the sake of Ërtongnòm. The previous overseers built great foundations for wealth, but the outside world proved too hostile, too greedy. To any overseer who wishes to avenge our people, build up our strength, destroy the beasts in our fortress and prove to all the glory of Ërtongnòm! My final message to you all: bring us Glory!

In remembrance: 26 Lost but never forgotten

Ber Dallithonddom, Miner

Aban Degëlîton, Carpenter

Vucar Dumatrìthar, Herbalist

Besmar Närèrith, Fisherdwarf

Goden Shedkol, Herbalist

Zulban Idbal, Gem Cutter

Kol Össeklikot, Animal Trainer

Zuntîr Rovodmedtob, Macedwarf

Kib Takùthducim, Marksdwarf

Rimtar Estunaban, Trader

Mebzuth Athelilrom, Hero of Gerbilgod

Atír Mosusgoden, Hammerdwarf

Nish Zulbanrutod, Dwarven Child

Zulban Litastkobeb, Sworddwarf

Mörul Likottorad, Hammerdwarf

Rovod Dalzatshorast, Miner

Erika ProudAutsiticComrade (Minkot Ironlaw), Captain of the Guard/Hammerdwarf

Feb Ustuthód, Bone Doctor

Zuglar Akrulfotthor, Metalsmith

Udib Likotuvel, Hammerdwarf

Goden Mebzuthmishthem, Dwarven Child

Amost Tangathlibash, Doctor

Tulon Alåtharist, Farmer

Kogan Likottulon, Glassmaker

Fikod Rakustardes, Pump Operator

Inod Thîkutzuntîr, Peasant

[destinyc1020]

but didn’t z breakup with Thomas ? Why would her hope it was just a break

Actually, a lot of fans are now strongly suspecting that Tom broke up with her.... especially after his own admission that "he sort of broke it himself". 🤷🏾‍♀️

Plus, you can kinda tell by how things transpired (now that we look back in hindsight) that Tom was more than likely the dumper.

We don't know 100% for sure of course, but there are many things that personally lead me to that conclusion.

[ellakomskaikru]

Something I’ve noticed in my 10+ years of being an Avatar fan is how at the very beginning I can remember Katara being a unanimously loved character for reasons such as her bending prowess, compassionate nature, and strong will despite all of her personal trauma. Now I’m noticing in the days of the fandom resurgence, people are much more critical of her character? Like I’ve heard people label her as a trauma dumper amongst other things. It genuinely confuses me.

Hello anon!

Yes, it confuses me too. In the earlier days of Avatar, Katara seemed to be much more loved than now. I’ve seen many people call her annoying and almost all of those people came from the fandom resurgence. Katara does have flaws, like literally every other character on the show, but the things she gets hated on for I think are not fair.

The things I’ve seen Katara get most hated on for:

Mentioning her mother’s death

Not noticing Aang’s crush on her and having crushes on other guys that aren’t Aang

Arguing with Toph about Toph not doing anything to help the group get chores done

Being angry at Zuko after he joined Team Avatar

For being angry at Sokka and Aang for not supporting her wanting to find her mother’s killer

In my opinion, Katara should not get hate for any of those reasons. I’ll explain why for each reason:

Katara mentioning her mother’s death is part of her coping strategy. Kya dying was extremely traumatic to her, and talking about it is how she is able to cope with it. People forget that Kya died in Katara’s place, so she not only carried the trauma of seeing her mother dead, but also of the fact that her mother sacrificed herself for her. So hating Katara for that is just wrong.

It’s just extremely misogynistic to hate Katara for not noticing Aang’s crush on her and for “daring” to have a crush on other guys. Katara did not owe Aang any of her romantic feelings. And Katara is her own person who does not exist to cater to Aang’s feelings. So hating Katara for not returning Aang’s feelings is extremely wrong.

Katara comes from a culture where the community helps each other gets things done. Toph comes from an aristocratic family in which she had servants always doing everything for her. It’s understandable that they would clash on the subject of doing chores. Katara was right to want Toph to help, but I also understand why Toph didn’t want to. Still, I agree more with Katara because Toph was now part of a team. Therefore Katara shouldn’t get hate for that.

Katara had all the right in the world to be angry at Zuko. Zuko not only betrayed her in Ba Sing Se after she had shown him kindness, but it also led to the fall of Ba Sing Se, which was a huge blow to the Earth Kingdom and caused the sufferings of many innocent people. Yes Katara was mean to Zuko at times, but he deserved it. And after Zuko went to her directly and wanted to make it up to her and found a way to do so, she forgave him when she was ready. So Katara should not be hated for her anger at Zuko.

Katara wanted to feel supported by Sokka and Aang in this very important matter. And she didn’t. Yes it was wrong of her to snap at Sokka, but it came from feeling very hurt. Aang and Sokka just wanted her to forgive her mother’s killer, and Katara of course did not want to do that. I don’t blame Katara for being angry, she had always been the caretaker of the group and she was finally doing something for own well being, she needed to be supported and she wasn’t. So Katara should not get hate for that.

So those are the main reasons I’ve seen Katara get hated on and it’s all very unfair. Katara has flaws but many of the things she gets hated aren’t fair in my opinion. She deserves better!

Thanks for the ask!