#Eddie: you know what would make me feel better about my near death experience?

[morganbritton132]

Eddie immediately forgets about his live-stream the moment Steve walks into the house so he can give him a beautifully wrapped gift.

Steve does the whole song and dance of ‘you shouldn’t have’ and ‘that’s so thoughtful’ like Eddie doesn’t know how much this man loves to get presents. Steve tears into the wrapping paper, looks into the box, and his smile immediately drops, “Absolutely not.”

Eddie: Baby

Steve, holding blue shorts and a sailor shirt in his hand: Where the hell did you find a Scoops Ahoy uniform?

Eddie: I had it custom made

Steve: Why?!

Eddie, unapologetically as he places the scoops hat on Steve’s head: Sex

[dearhargrove]

Heyyy!! I have another eddie diaz request if that's okay? This time Eddie is planning to propose to reader and is a bit nervous but possibly gets chris involved holding a sign and turns around to eddie on one knee? Or they're at home getting ready for bed and he just proposes there and then as he can't think of a more perfect time. The first idea could be at home or the firehouse? All cute adorable and fluffy. Thank you!

Proposal

summary You're scared when Eddie calls you and tells you to urgently come to the firehouse - turns out there's no reason to be scared.

word count 1170

tags just pure fluff, Chris is a precious angel and I'll fight for him w my life

a/n unsure about this but here we go!! Thanks for the request <3

masterlist

You're preparing dinner when your phone rings - the ringtone you'd picked specifically for Eddie.

“What's up?” You ask, putting him on speaker so you can keep your focus on the vegetables you're chopping.

“Can you come over? To the station?” He doesn't sound relaxed - as you'd expected - but instead he sounds stressed and nervous, speaking hushed and fast. “Uhm, yeah. What's going on, Eddie?”

You hear him clearing his throat but he doesn't answer your question, “Just please come over.” Now you were actually freaked out. Wasn't he in the middle of a shift? Why would he need you to come over? Chris was at school and all of your mutual friends were with him.

Before you can try getting him to talk and explain what's going on he hangs up, leaving you in the dark.

You shove the vegetables into a Tupperware box and store them in the fridge before grabbing your keys and hurrying to your car.

When you arrive about ten minutes later you almost forget to lock your car, already calling for Eddie. Noting how instead of the usual buzzing around of several people, the firehouse seemed empty.

“Eddie?” You call out again, walking between the firetrucks with your phone clutched in your hand as you'd forgotten your purse in the hurry.

Huffing when you can't find him you stop walking and look around again, “Eddie! I came as quickly as I could, where are you and what was so urgent?” You hope he's the one hearing you and not some colleague you'd never met because that would just be embarrassing.

He looks over the railing of the loft, a pinched expression but otherwise fine expression on his face. He didn't seem to be in pain nor in any haste - you were getting gradually more annoyed by the fact you had sped here, expecting some grand emergency.

“Come up,” he says and licks his lips, a habit of his when he is nervous. You squint suspiciously and walk up the stairs.

When you do, he stands at the end of the stairs, blocking your vision from the rest of the loft.

“Eddie? What the hell is going on?”

He swallows and you can see some sweat beading on his forehead and temple. Worriedly you put the back of your hand against his forehead, not feeling any high temperature which simply confuses you more. He stares basically blankly at you before finally moving again.

“Baby,” he starts and at any other time you would've immediately smiled and melted into a puddle of adoration for this man, but right now you're slightly pissed he'd stressed you for seemingly no reason.

“We've been together for almost two years.” He keeps going and you nod slowly. What is he getting at?

“I love you. More than anything else.” You smile and chuckle a bit, “Excluding Chris…” He looks down with a short laugh and nod, “He loves you too.”

“Eddie, this is super cute and wholesome but why did you want me to come here for that? Any near death experiences I should know about that prompted this?”

He bites his lip and shakes his head. He slowly and gently intertwines his hand with yours and kisses the back of yours, holding eye contact. It makes you smile and fluster, looking to the side with a shy smile.

“There's no one in this world I could imagine being a better woman to me than you. You complete me and Chris. And I want to… I want to ask you something.”

It feels so surreal what he's hinting at that you don't believe your own intuition, simply wiping your eyes, “Eddie, don't make me cry I'll look like a panda,” you warn for a lack of a reaction, hoping your mascara at least survived the first few tears.

He chuckles and then slowly gets on one knee, your hand still cradled in his. You can't contain your sob when he kneels, making it clear what he's going to ask you.

Instead of asking the question he looks over his shoulder where Chris starts walking your way, a sign in his hands with that exact question on it. When Chris stands next to Eddie and looks at you with that adorable smile you can't help but sob, quickly reaching out to pull him into your arms and kiss the top of his head.

Catching Eddie's gaze you nod your head and bury further into Chris, “Yes, yes, a thousand times yes!”

The boy in your arms giggles and drops the sign to wrap his arms around your waist. “Told you, dad!” He calls and you laugh tearily.

“Yeah, you did, bud.” Eddie smiles fondly and wraps his arms around both of you. You see Buck motioning Chris to come to him, which he gladly does, considering Buck is still Christophers hero, and you hide your face behind a hand as Eddie slowly slides a ring onto your left hand.

There's an applause behind you from the rest of your closest friends, Chris sitting on Bucks hip as he giggles.

However you're focused entirely on the man in front of you, his hazel eyes teary as well when he kisses your knuckle and leans his forehead against yours.

“Te amo mucho, mi amor,” he mumbles against your forehead and kisses it, making you laugh happily. He wipes the last of your tears tenderly and you look at him with pure adoration.

“I love you so much.” He smiles and someone yells - you're pretty sure it's Buck because a smaller, high pitched voice echoes the same word - ‘kiss!’.

You shake your head in amusement but are caught off guard when Eddie surges forward and passionately and deeply kisses you, one hand holding you by your neck and the other still holding your left hand.

“Ew,” Chris says loud enough for everyone to burst into laughter and you and your now fiancé to laugh as well and break the kiss.

“What?” He asks offended when Buck pinches his side (though he looks like he could very well be the one to make Chris voice their shared distaste for the PDA).

You smile at the people you considered family, especially when Bobby clears his throat and points to the already set table, “Dinner’s ready, so let's eat!”

You sit between Eddie and Chris, the former's hand never leaving your thigh, yours laying on top.

“I just realized this means we're gonna have to deal with their PDA every day now…” Buck mentions, looking genuinely scared.

Hen seemingly kicks his shin under the table because he yelps and flinches before pouting and raising his hands in mock surrender. And wow, you couldn't be happier.

[steddieas-shegoes]

Eddie doesn’t exactly get high often, alright? He just indulges in his own supply when he’s feeling particularly stressed.

Okay, so he’s been a little fucking stressed lately. His supply is down to nothing.

And it wouldn’t be a problem, except he feels like he’s getting a cold, or a flu, or a fucking tumor. He’s been sneezing nonstop and he keeps getting hot flashes and it just doesn’t make any sense. He’s been holed up in his room for a week, not even coming out to see Wayne before he leaves for work. No way he caught something besides loneliness.

Wayne always has some Tylenol on hand, but what good does that do when he’s dying? There’s some allergy meds that Wayne always takes during the first bit of spring, but they could be expired for all Eddie knows.

So he’s dying. Alone. In his too-hot/too-cold room. No music to even soothe his soul on its way to its final resting place.

“Eds?”

Oh, now he’s hallucinating too? Great.

“Eddie!”

He turned towards his door but couldn’t find the energy to open his eyes, even when his hallucination spoke again.

“Jesus, Eddie. What the hell is going on?”

Steve was definitely not a hallucination. He was standing in Eddie’s bedroom doorway, hands on his hips, unfairly attractive scowl on his face, looking at Eddie like he was a lost cause.

He always looked at him like that when he was trying not to show he cared.

“If you don’t have drugs, leave me to die.”

Eddie turned back towards his wall and pulled the blanket over his head, regretting it the moment a drop of sweat made it’s way down his neck. He refused to let Steve see him like this. One near death experience was enough vulnerability for them.

“Wayne called and asked me to check on you. He said you were avoiding him. Any reason or you just felt the urge to see my pretty face?”

“Wayne shouldn’t have called you. I don’t know why he called you. Pretend he didn’t. Go back home. Say nice words about me at my funeral and try to mean them.”

He couldn’t see Steve, but he could feel his eye roll.

And Eddie knew he was being over dramatic. He was over dramatic more often than not. But he was having a rough week, his therapist would probably even say it was an isolation week, and now he was sick on top of it. Dramatics were his way of showing he’d survive.

“Are you sad or sick?”

“Yes.”

“Which one is worse right now?”

Eddie considered the question, considered his answer.

“Sick.”

“Stomach, head, or both?”

“Both. Everything.”

“Got a thermometer around or do I have to kiss your forehead to see if you have a fever?”

Eddie knew he was blushing. He’d never been so thankful for a comforter nearly suffocating him as he was in that moment.

“You’re not my mom no matter what the kids seem to think of you.”

“Thank god for that.”

Before Eddie could unpack whatever Steve meant by that, he felt the bed dip behind him and a hand touching his back.

“Let me check for a fever so I know what meds to get.”

Eddie hesitated. He hadn’t showered in at least three days. He was breaking out in a cold sweat. He was at his least attractive at this moment.

Letting Steve, the guy who he’d been in love with for almost a year now, see him like this? Hell no.

“Eds. Don’t make me call Wayne at work.”

Eddie sighed and pushed the blanket off of his head. He turned onto his back and glared at Steve. He ignored the fact that it took most of his energy to keep his eyes open long enough to do it.

“You look like shit.”

“Thanks, I got all dolled up just for you, sweetheart.”

If Eddie had felt better, he may have noticed how Steve blushed, but unfortunately, he had already closed his eyes again.

He felt a cool hand on his forehead and sighed, relaxing back into his pillow.

“Fuck, Eddie, you’re burning up! How long have you felt this bad?”

“I dunno. Last night.”

Eddie didn’t want the hand to leave, it felt too good against his burning skin. He shivered when he felt another cool hand on his cheek.

“I’m getting some Tylenol for the fever and I’m calling Wayne to get you flu meds on his way home. Were you just gonna dehydrate and suffer in here alone?”

“Probably.”

Eddie waited for Steve to argue, to tell him he didn’t need to hide away or pretend he was fine if he wasn’t. He’d heard it plenty from his therapist and Wayne and Dustin and even Max when she felt like being nice. But he was met with a drawn out silence that made him nervous.

He peeked an eye open to see Steve staring down at him.

“I wasn’t gonna like, let myself actually die.”

“Why didn’t you call me?”

“Uhhh…”

“It’s not like I wouldn’t be here. You know I can handle it. Right?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Do you not trust me to take care of you?”

Eddie opened both of his eyes to see Steve pouting. Actually pouting like a child not getting their way. Over taking care of him.

Jesus fucking Christ.

“It’s not that.”

“Then what?”

“You’re not my babysitter. I didn’t wanna bother you.”

“But I could’ve taken care of you.”

Eddie’s brain short circuited. He lost every ability to form a coherent thought.

“Eddie?”

This was too much. Steve was too much.

“Can you get me that Tylenol please?”

Eddie felt the bed adjust to Steve standing up and heard him walk to the bathroom across the hall. He took the separation as a small blessing so he could get the very few thoughts running rampant through his brain in some semblance of order.

When Steve came back with the Tylenol and a glass of water in hand, Eddie sat up in his bed.

He took the pills and chugged most of the water, ignoring the angry look Steve was shooting him.

“Thanks. You can go if you want.”

Steve, stubborn idiot that he is, didn’t go. In fact, he pushed Eddie over in bed to make room for himself.

As Steve got comfortable next to him, Eddie lay his head on Steve’s chest and splayed his arm across his stomach.

Might as well go all in if this is a hallucination.

“Just get some rest, Eds.”

Eddie let his eyes flutter closed. The last thing he remembers before slipping into his illness and medication induced sleep was a light press of lips against the top of his head.

[epicbuddieficrecs]

Epic Buddie Fic Rec | October 9th-15th 2023

Hey guys!

I'm trying to get back into the habit of making these recs every week. I've been working on a banner and it's not ready yet, but I didn't want to wait for it to be ready before making fic recs because procrastination = bad!! 😆 I hope you enjoy!

If you don't know me from my other fic rec blogs, I rec pretty much all the fics that I've read and that I've enjoyed in these recaps, but I put an emoji next to the ones that I liked just a liiiiiittle bit more 😉 For Stucky, I used blue hearts (💙), for Steddie I used black hearts (🖤), and for Buddie... well the decision wasn't too hard to make 😜

Complete

take me to the edge (then let me fall) by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP | 1K | Explicit): Or, the one where Eddie edges Buck until he loses his mind all the while calling him a good boy.

🔥 but i can see all along, love (it was you all the way down) by diazchristopher/ @captain-hen (Post-S6, Time Loop | 28K Mature): He puts his laptop away after a bit, and paces the length of his apartment as he tries to take stock of the situation at hand. One: The date is March 22nd, 2024. Two: It has been March 22nd for 3 days now. Three: Buck is trapped in some kind of time loop that is forcing him to relive this day. Four: Eddie is, apparently, in love with him. And. And. Five: Buck doesn’t feel the same way.

🔥 still by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (Post-Season 6 AU, Near Death Experiences | 9K | Teen): “Your guess was correct, Diaz,” the bomb technician tells them, as he gestures to the orange circle. “You’re standing on a large sensor plate, wired to a detonator. It’s incredibly important that you don’t move. Don’t shift. When you put your weight down, it was like cocking a gun - you take your weight off, this thing is powerful enough to take the entire house with it."

to feel the need of your touch by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Light BDSM, Post-Season 6 | 7K | Explicit): When Natalia had casually suggested they stay fuck buddies, at least until he got his shit together about Eddie, Buck had seriously considered it. But it just wasn’t what he wanted. So, he had said no and Natalia had understood, and that was that. And now, Buck was miserable. He was so sensitive. His skin felt like a live wire. Any and all touches he received started to feel like a shock to his system. Or, the one where Buck is touchstarved and desperate for Eddie. They fuck but it's also really sweet.

reassure me with your praise by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Kinktober, Getting Together | 5K | Explicit): Or, the one where Buck is concerned he might be bad in bed and Eddie has a solution.

bet on it by honestlydarkprincess/ @honestlydarkprincess (PWP, Kinktober | 4K | Explicit): Or, the one where newly together Buck and Eddie make a bet to see who can last longer without sex. The bet lasts one day.

Something Dumb to Do by glorious_spoon/ @glorious-spoon (Friends to Lovers, First Time | 8K | Explicit): "Too bad we can't just date each other." Eddie laughs. "What?" "No, I'm serious!" Buck sets his beer down, the better to gesture with both hands, face lighting up, and Eddie just—he really loves the guy, okay. Ridiculous as he is. "It would be so much easier! You wouldn't have to introduce a new person to Chris—he already likes me anyway—and you could tell Pepa so she'll stop setting you up on dates that don't go anywhere—" "And what would you get out of this?" Eddie asks, grinning. - Or: Buck and Eddie try something out together.

hope is a sword by marcato/ @callaplums (Post-Season 6, Near-Death Experiences | 5K | Teen): Holy shit, Eddie loves him so much. He’s been so stupid, telling himself to wait for the right moment. What right fucking moment? It should have been yesterday, three weeks ago– hell, it should have been three years ago when he was telling his best friend about the goddamn will. It doesn’t matter right now, though. The only thing that matters is keeping as much of Buck’s blood inside his body as possible. One can only hope and wish and pray.

🔥 Four Can Keep a Secret by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Post-Season 6, Secret Relationship | 20K | Teen): When Ravi and Hen accidentally see Buck and Eddie, who are trying hard to keep their new relationship a secret, in the middle of a romantic moment, they try to make them confess without the rest of the station finding out. Shenanigans ensue.

early hours of yearning by brewrosemilk/ @gayhoediaz (PWP, Kinktober | 4K | Explicit): “You really wanna go again?" “Yes,” he confirms, gently scratching his teeth down the side of his neck, treasuring the deep moan he gets in response. “God, you’re fucking insatiable," he hears Eddie moan as he tilts his head back, giving Buck more space to work. “Doesn’t feel like you’re complaining."

how forever feels by icesculptures/ @ice-sculptures @athenagranted (Post-Season 6, Getting Together | 8K | General): Or: tired of the growing distance between them, Eddie asks Buck to dance at Maddie and Chimney's wedding, healing more than his own heart along the way.

WIP

Don't They Know It's the End of the World? by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars (Fallout 4 AU, Post-Apocalyptic | 4/14 | 7K | Mature | Warning: Violence): After being put in a cryogenic sleep for over a hundred years to wait out an apocalyptic event, Eddie Diaz wakes up, too early, to find his son has been stolen from his cryo-chamber. Scared and alone in a frightening world he doesn't recognize, Eddie is willing to do anything to get his kid back.

🔥 Nothing Left But You by Daisies_and_Briars/ @cal-daisies-and-briars ("Blip" AU | 8/9 | 24K | Teen | Warning: MCD): In May of 2021, 25% of Earth's population suddenly disappears. Including Eddie. In May of 2026, they all come back. Eddie finds himself suddenly in the middle of a world he doesn't recognize, where the people he loves most have changed significantly.

Innocence died screaming, honey, ask me I should know by JJK/ @trenchcoatsandtimetravel (Demon Buck, Canon Divergent | 2/? | 4K | Teen): Buck is a demon with the power to help with pregnancy, childbirth, and infant health. When the Buckleys make a deal asking for someone to help 'save their baby', Buck leaps at the chance as it will give him what he's always wanted: a life on earth. But demon deals are tricky and neither of them gets quite what they're after. This is Buck's journey as he navigates growing up on earth and remembering how to help those in need.

🔥 for all the haunts and homes of men by euadnes/ @kananjarus (Canon Divergent, Post-Apocalyptic, Station Eleven Crossover | WIP | 10/? | 85K | Mature | Warning: Violence): The year by the old calendar is 2025. Home is gone. Home is a failed rescue mission and an echo of a memory. Home is a lost boy living in a wooden house by the sea. But first, there was a promise. Christopher, when it's safe, I'll take you back to your father. Buck had all but given up on keeping it after the world had died and everyone in it. But just as some oaths refuse to be forgotten, so the same can be said about the endurance of love.

[littlespoonevan]

Hi, can I please ask for some of the essays about the cemetery talk and what we were supposed to take away from that scene? If you feel inclined, that is 💕

well i don't know if i can write an essay exactly bc tbh i still don't know for certain what we're supposed to take away from that scene. but i do know the tone of it was completely different to anything we've ever seen for buddie before and it also lasted so much longer than most of their scenes have before??? like i just went back to rewatch it to refresh my memory and it's 3 minutes???? that is an incredibly long scene for two characters to have in an ensemble show when they're literally just talking and it's not strictly moving the plot forward

but to try and break it down a bit:

i find it fascinating the way eddie reacts to buck talking about natalia. that weary, almost irritated, "really?" when buck admits he'd met up with her followed by the "dating somebody you rescued, you know what never ends well." it's So Different to the snarky way he used to react to taylor. like when he'd make comments about taylor you knew he was mostly joking or at worst, just being a little bitchy. but he sounds genuinely frustrated when buck brings up natalia. the closest thing i can compare it to is that it's a more muted version of "his fiance's abby" and we know eddie knew how deeply buck was affected by losing abby so it feels a bit like eddie is potentially annoyed bc he knows buck will probably get hurt again???

then you have buck saying the whole "i think she sees me" bit which echoes so much of buck's overarching storyline and his struggle with love in the past. and i know some people call this eddie's 'oh' moment but i definitely don't consider it an "oh i'm in love with him" moment. i feel like it's more of an "oh he doesn't see that i see him too" moment, if that makes sense?? and i think there probably is a bit of frustration with that for eddie given that the will scene is eddie as loudly and demonstratively as he can saying "i see you" y'know? nevermind all the little ways he proves he knows buck

and tbh i think my favourite part of the scene is actually the last 60 seconds because first you have eddie saying "you haven't been the same since it happened, but then again how could you be?" and it's just!!! 1) it's literally him proving he does see buck and probably knows him better than anyone else and 2) there's a very subtle hint of realisation in his voice when eddie says "how could you be" as if he's been convincing himself buck is fine this entire time (maybe post-couch nap) only for him to now realise buck really, really isn't.

tHEN he says "you don't have to be anything for anybody" and it might be my favourite words to ever come out of his mouth tbh because it's just once again emphasising the gentle way eddie lets buck be?????????? "i had to do it" "i know you did", "you knew i wouldn't" "i knew you wouldn't". eddie is So Good at offering buck a reprieve whenever he needs one and he's usually the person best able to break through all the noise in buck's head to make him understand that he's fine just existing as himself.

aND THEN eddie makes the comment about how going through near death experiences change a person and all i can think about is how after eddie's near death experience he made the decision to tell buck about his will after keeping it a secret for a year and how he never actually answered buck's question about why he kept it a secret in the first place and i have to ask, eddie diaz what changed in you???????????

combine all of that with the fact their outfits mirror what they wore in 5x14 and the absolute irony of eddie saying dating someone on a call never works out only for him to pursue marisol two eps later and just- i don't know if they pivoted bc there was a fear season 6 would be the end of the series or if the last few eps were always supposed to go the way they did but this scene in 6x15 raises so many questions and i feel like i don't have the answers to any of them skjahd

[detachedfacade]

it took eddie a long time to make a move. stevie had all but given up. she hadn't necessarily expected him to, but there were moments, lingered touches, flirtation, that felt meaningful. but eddie never really took it the extra step.

stevie didn't realise the over confidence eddie had while flirting was a front. it was only when, while getting high, sitting by her parents pool, that eddie revealed he had been a virgin until he was 20. only a couple of sad handjobs given and received was his sexual experience prior to meeting stevie. "that near death experience really sets a fire beneath you though" eddie had said, had figured if he wanted to not die a virgin he ought to make a move. so he'd gone to the gay bar he frequented a week after the accident and finally went through with it. "and honestly," he said, "I haven't since. not that I didn't like it, I meant I'm sure it will be better with someone I actually like it's just...I still kind of feel like a virgin. like I don't know what I'm doing and I'm scared people will see through that."

stevie couldn't relate, she had more experience than most people she knew, with both men and women. so she knew what she was doing. though, it was definitely the drugs influence that led her to reach out her hand to eddie and say. "i could help you practice."

it seemed after the first step was taken, everything else fell into place. suddenly the weight between them lifted and they could admit, aloud, that they had had crushes on one another. and for how long. "since I met you, honestly. " eddie said.

"did it change? when I..."

"oh my god stevie, yes. since you transitioned it fucking tripled if not more I...I didn't really realise I could like you more but jesus christ you proved me wrong."

stevie was blushing. "that was ...the right thing to say." she said. "I am a bit...or I was a bit scared that since you were gay it wouldn't ever go anywhere..."

eddie shifted in bed. "yeah. I mean I had crushes on girls too, sometimes. I mean debbie harry? c'mon, i'm only human. like robin said, sexuality is fluid."

"robin told you about that conversation?"

"she did, but only after we started...whatever this is." eddie motioned between himself and stevie.

"whatever this is?" stevie replied. "what do you want it to be?"

It was eddie's turn to blush now. "I think I'd like for you to be my girlfriend, stevie."

It became quickly obvious to eddie that whenever her parents were home, stevie would do her best to stay out longer. she would suggest diners and nightclubs and long drives until eddie would say "baby, let's just go back to mine."

of course it wasn't always convenient, wayne being there most nights. but as stevie said, she was 'like a ninja' and could totally sneak in unheard. eddie couldn't stop laughing at the sight of her scrambling up the side of the trailer, his figurines clattering across the floor as she pushed her way into the window. their shared laughter at the moment was made even worse when Wayne knocked and told them to use the door next time.

and so she did. but she insisted, said if wayne was going to know she was there, shouldn't they meet properly? so eddie set a date, and he cooked wayne's favourite dinner, and he let stevie in when she knocked on the front door this time, snuck a kiss before wayne would notice. and wayne said "nice to properly meet you stevie." before taking his seat at the head of the table.

from then she was always round, wayne was always happy to see her, and though he admitted he was still learning 'all this stuff' he never misgendered her.

even when stevies father finally came round, he would still repeatedly dead name her, but wayne, wayne never did. not once. srevie even overheard him, smoking outside with her father, defending her. telling her father, "you ought to get your head screwed on and protect your daughter with everything you have because god knows it isn't going to be easy. and you say you love her, you say you only want her to be happy but don't you see? she is happy." and her father never admitted defeat, but stevie found herself on the receiving end of some stilted affection from then on, and she felt that maybe it wouldn't be all bad going home. eventually.

but by that point, she and eddie had already planned to move in together. It was bound to happen sooner or later. three people couldn't fit into that tiny trailer.

so they got a place on the outskirts of the city, far enough away to start fresh but close enough to visit their loved ones without much hassle. and for a long time Stevie hadn't imagined a part in her life that she would leave hawkins and have any intention of returning, but then robin happened, and eddie happened, and wayne happened and her father looked her in the eye and said "I always wanted a daughter. you make sure you call, okay stevie?" and having something to return for felt so fucking nice.

but the new life in the city was even fucking nicer. no one around to dead name her or ask invasive questions. only herself and eddie finding their feet in a city that didn't know them, and would accept them for who they were. and if it didn't, they would always have love to return to in their shared apartment, in their shared bed, in their shared life. because even if the world was uncertain and scary, everyone could see, stevie and eddie were soul mates.

check out the full collection of stevie drabbles on ao3

[lover-of-mine]

the is that enough / she sees me parallel has been haunting me forever! I'm 100% sure they're doing that on purpose, they're not that blind to their own writing. just hate that they always leave it there (because honestly, buck and eddie can't be that oblivious. especially with she sees me better than anyone, buck would never say that to his best friend who knows him best)

Oh, they definitely are, those are some conversations that they could totally go back and repurpose if they ever decide to make these two oblivious idiots stop being oblivious idiots, and well, I will always have faith. But the whole I feel like she sees me, you know? Like she really sees me for who I am and what I've been through thing (I am not about to excuse Buck for saying that, it is a shitty thing to tell your best friend, nothing can actually make it okay for him to say that to Eddie of all people, who's been reading him like he's favorite book since the moment they met and I kinda wanna smack him for it) is that I kinda think that Buck needs someone to not think his death was a tragedy and he needs that from someone who doesn't have a baseline of his behavior pre-death. Which makes Natalia perfect for his brand of repression, since death is not scary to her and she didn't know him before, she's not gonna be affected by the fact that he died, so Buck can talk about his death in a controlled environment. Because, like, Buck is not stupid, he sees the way it affected the people who love him, and I feel dying took away his main coping when it came to near death experiences or traumatic events in general, because Buck hadn't almost died in a while, after the warehouse fire on Buck begins, the next situation that almost kills him where he is the focus, is the lightning, and even before that he's very nonchalant about the blood clots, his fear with the truck wasn't dying, it was losing his leg/not being able to work, and the tsunami he was too focused on Chris to care about himself, but now he has no where to divert the focus, he has nothing to allow him to turn around and say "it wasn't that bad" or "that wasn't about me" because it was that bad and it was about him. He did die. And the whole thing with the way they wrote him and his passively suicidal tendencies is not that he's actually trying to die by doing things and not caring if death comes or not, is just that he doesn't think it will matter if it does die, he doesn't think his life matter in the grand scheme of things. But now death is not just some possibility, something that comes with the job, something that could happen, he died, he has feelings about it, it almost broke the people he loves and he doesn't want to look at that, because to look at that he needs to look at everything else that happened to him. Natalia is a shortcut into dealing with death, because it's literally her job to make alive people okay with death, she doesn't know who he was before and he doesn't care about her enough to wonder if his death is hurting her, which allows him to be his bashful, giggly "I'll start by saying I woke up in a world that was both everything and nothing I ever wanted it to be" and make his death a cute little story in a way that would, honestly, make someone who actually cared about him yell (Eddie storming off after bucktalia talk about how awesome it is that he died 2024).

The whole thing that's going on there, in my opinion, is not that she sees him, it is that she's seeing what he wants her to see and that's the appeal. Because Buck is all "I feel like I have to try and be the same old Buck, mostly for the sake of everybody else" when literally NO ONE is asking him to be anything other than himself. If he wanted to scream, cry, break things, shave his head, grow a beard, dye his hair red, get matching tattoos, get a new car, take a month long vacation on the mountains, get a dog, leave the loft, as long as he's not hurting himself, Eddie, Maddie, Bobby, Hen, Chim, they would all be completely on board, as long as it helps him. Buck is the one refusing to talk. Buck is the one refusing to accept this big thing happened. Buck is the one trying to just go back to before. He wants to acknowledge death changed him but he doesn't want to deal with the fact that his death changed other people. Because if he decides to be honest about it with Maddie, Bobby, Eddie, he has to deal with so much more. He has to deal with Daniel, he has to deal with Eddie being shot, he has to deal with every time he feared he lost Bobby, he has to deal with the well, with Maddie being kidnapped by Doug, because if he allows himself to accept that they are allowed their own set of feelings about his death, he has to accept that he is allowed his own set of feelings about what happened to them and then shit gets too real for him.

[vibinglikethat]

9-1-1 Season 6 Episode 11 In Another Life Thoughts

Overall, this episode is absolutely already one of the best 911 episodes. I loved it so much. I already figured I’d like it knowing what it was about but i didn’t expect to love it that much lol

once again, buck and maddie’s parents were interesting in that they’re doing better at caring for their children. i personally liked seeing it, it was really nice. and it was definitely really nice for buck. idk, like as much as we still hate their parents, i like seeing buck happier more than i hate his bio parents. but yeah it was a refreshing change of pace. it helps that they were nicer even BEFORE the near death experience buck went through. it feels more genuine.

when howie was like wanting chimney to move on from all the pain their father put them through and chimney was like “everyone always told me i would understand my dad more when i became a parent myself. when i understand him even LESS. because there is nothing i wouldnt do to make jee-yun happy” i wanted to cheer out loud. definitely a huge highlight of the ep and i love him for saying that. chimney my beloved.

daniel was a bit of a dick LMAOOOOO classic older brother trope.

i think it’s insane (IN A GOOD WAY) that buck has influenced every single other character in some way or another. i love that a lot. as much as i feel that this fandom overhypes buck (and eddie) i do love buck a LOT. i really do and this was a really good buck episode.

eddie wasn’t in this ep as much but his reactions were so good. let him be happy with buck again :(

at the end of the ep, chimney proves that once again he is a better person than me because he gives his dad a chance. idk that was very big of him and i love him so much. literally good to his very core despite everything his dad put him through.

i also thought the scene with athena at buck’s hospital bed during his coma was very sweet. i love their dynamic. i want more of it.

but yes this episode was INCREDIBLE and- OH YEAH I NEARLY DIED WHEN FIX YOU BY COLDPLAY STARTED PLAYING. THAT SONG NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME EMOTIONAL AND IT PLAYED DURING THIS EP???????? LITERALLY WOW. JUST. WOW. I LOVED IT SO MUCH. WHAT A FUCKING AMAZING EP.

and people apparently didnt like it?????? can’t relate lol it was fucking amazing

[sixofpomegranates]

☠︎ Tutor ☠︎

Pairing: Eddie Munson x Carver!Fem!Reader

Word count: 13K (it's a long one | That's what she said.)

Summary: Trading tutoring for guitar lessons, Reader’s hopeless crush on the towns freak doesn't seem so hopeless after all.

☞ Picture does not describe the looks of the reader!

A/N: !Body & Skin color Neutral! Reader! IMPORTANT: Jason is also still alive. Reader is Jason's cousin and grew up with Robin as her best friend. They worked together with Steve at Scoops Ahoy.

CW: Smut, Fluff, Angst 18+| Eddie (Bullying/Self-Deprecation/Feeling of not being good enough) It is implied that Eddie has ADHD or is at least in the spectrum, [y/n] (Rich Parents not supporting your dreams/Shady family wealth-white supremacists) Mentions of Vecna/Chrissy/S4/Near-death experience/Scars/Nightmares, Pining, Drugs & use of (Weed), Making-out, Fingering, Penetrative Sex (Virginity/Loss of virginity, Unprotected, Creampie)

Pinning my tutoring flyer on the board in school, I sigh. Another year of tutoring to have more than this couple of peanuts my parents consider my pocket money, I guess.

Fun fact, it's called pocket money because it's little enough to fit in your pockets, even if Dad gives it to you in pennies.

But okay, I want something, I'm eighteen, and I am able to earn the money for it. Sure, my uncle and aunt just bought Jason a new car because our family name's soaked in wealth, and apparently, we think that the price of a dead girlfriend is exactly the same as for an Audi 5000CS Turbo Quattro; but okay...

If anyone in my family would know that the disaster that was March and the giant earthquake were actually a real-life boogie man coming to collect teens; and that there was something the kids I tutored over the last years called 'The Upside Down', I'd get my guitar lessons paid within the blink of an eye...

But Robin, Steve, and Nancy were very clear about why I've got to keep it to myself.

So no hero status or guitar lessons for me, only tutoring either a child that Steve will adopt the second it comes into his five-mile radius or a stupid jock that will try flirting with me every session and stare at my cleavage instead of his books.

Simply not fair.

As somebody reaches past me to grab my flyer, I jump so severely that my headphones fall off my ears, and the smell of marihuana fills my nose.

"Jesus," I mutter, turning to the person behind me and meeting the face of Hawkins's most hated man. Eddie Munson.

March has fucked up everyone; me being particularly jumpy and having my walkman on all the time is actually one of the better outcomes.

Eddie is now hated by most. They couldn't link him to a satanic cult (Just officially named him a freak and loser that likes dungeons and dragons, which seems to be a gateway drug to demon worshipping now...) and with the government and Chief Hopper's help, they also stopped trying to convict him of Chrissy's murder, but the town hates him.

They still believe he has something to do with it, whether proven innocent or not.

How he still makes it through the day, a big smile on his lips, truly baffles me.

"So, you're tutoring?" he asks, not looking up from my flyer. I nod. "Yeah, need the money."

"You only tutor the freshmen or..." "Everyone's welcome," I smile, turning off my music. "Even the full-on, nonconformist metalheads."

Cocking his head, he raises his eyebrows. "You really think you could help me pass chemistry with Kaminsky?"

"Depends." "On what?" I grin. "If you pay for your lessons."

Faking a heartbroken reaction, he giggles. "And that after I saved you from being demobat food. I'm a hero, y'know?"

Shrugging, I pin another flyer on the board. "Well, Munson, what can I say? We are living in a material world, and I am a material girl."

Eddie pulls a face as though he is about to vomit. "Gross, don't Madonna me."

"I Madonna as much as I like to," I laugh, punching his chest gently. "So, chemistry, anything else you'd need help with?"

That is when the bell announces lunch. I watch the metalhead tense up before me but still trying to play it cool.

"Uhm, we can talk about it while having lunch," I offer, but he shakes his head. "Nah, I- They throw stuff at me when I enter the cafeteria, so I'll just relax outside a little," he tells me, still smiling, but his eyes can't hide anything.

He's afraid.

"Yeah, sure," I smile back. "After school?"

The hallway starts to fill with students, and Eddie becomes visibly uneasy. He already begins removing himself from the conversation, turning around only to lift his flyer. "After school," he calls over to me and vanishes in the crowd.

*****

After school, I wait outside for Eddie, having him see me and smile from afar, ditching Dusting and Mike while they're still talking to him and running up to me.

"Hey, Carver," he says teasingly, making me smile. "Hey, Edward."

He nods, knowing he deserves the comeback. "You shall be forgiven."

"Okay, business talk. What classes do you need help with?" I ask, looking around. My parents insist on my cousin driving me home for safety, and I really want to avoid Jason seeing me with Eddie.

"Well, chemistry is currently the biggest problem. Have you heard of Kaminsky's All-or-Nothing Test?" I nod. "That's the one you have to take if you screwed up every other test-" Realization washes over me. "Oh, Eddie."

He smiles at me apologetically, cheeks turning a little pink.

"Why didn't you say something earlier? I- We could've studied together."

He shrugs. "To be fair, I know we were in the Upside Down together and stuff, but I didn't think we'd know each other enough to ask."

True, we don't. I'd only ever seen Eddie from afar in school or at the mall. And before all hell broke loose with Chrissy's death and those bat-things nearly killing him, I'd actually been massively intimidated by him.

He is loud, handsome, and definitely a little crazy; that had been enough to keep me away.

But since the Upside Down... That place and all that comes with it – let's just say it helps you forget your social status and makes you become allies even with the handsomely crazy ones.

"I- I still would've helped you if you'd asked. You have to graduate this year, or else-" He interrupts me. "I know. I just didn't want to be a burden. Like, 'Oh, you killed a bat for me, now I have to study with you.'"

"You're not a burden, Munson," I tell him, looking into his warm, brown eyes.

"Heard different things before, and you only say that because you haven't tried studying with me yet," he grins. "So, how much per lesson?"

"How bout a deal?" I ask him back before all bravery can leave me. Eddie's lips split into a gorgeous but mischievous smile. "Oh, I'm good at dealing."

"I swear if you pull out your lunch-" Before I can end my sentence, he's already pulled out the black metal box containing his drugs.

"Eddie, you're not paying me with drugs," I tell him sternly, forcing him to put the lunchbox back into his backpack.

"It's good stuff," he tries to assure me, but I shake my head, hardly able to bite back a grin. "And I still don't want it."

After a final try at handing me the metal box, he shrugs, putting it away.

"You play guitar, right?" I ask him as if I haven't been part of the most metal concert the Upside Down has ever experienced. "How bought instead of paying me, you teach me? I wanted to take classes with that money anyway."

He blinks at me a couple of times before letting out a loud, excited laugh. "Y-Yeah. Totally. I- I taught it myself, so if I can learn it, you can learn it."

"Cool," I answer. He scratches the back of his head, echoing me, "Cool."

We stare at each other for a moment, somehow not knowing what to say. God, this is awkward, isn't it? Am I making it awkward?

Quickly clearing my throat, I announce, "I'm babysitting Mike and Holly tonight, and the Wheelers always allow me to bring company. So, bring your books, and we'll see how bad the situation actually is."

Eddie smiles, as he almost always does. It is actually quite distracting. "Okay. Uhm, then I meet you there at...?"

"Six," I blurt out, then giggle a little anxious. "Six. Great," he chuckles in reply.

Before either of us can say another word, our attention is drawn to a small group of jocks, Jason being their leader, on their way to us and their cars.

"I'm gonna drive the kids home," Eddie tells me, still smiling as if he could hide the real reason he wants to leave. I grant him the illusion of having fooled me, smiling, "Okay. See you tonight."

I watch him hurry away, get Mike, Lucas, and Dustin – including their bikes – into his van, and drive off. Jason rushes now closer, having seen us from afar. He lays his arm around my shoulder, pulling me uncomfortably close.

Maybe I'd felt safe being protected by him when I was five, but now I only see the always returning, dangerous paranoia in him. The way he brutally beat Lucas, saying he protected Max but left them both behind as the Upside Down ripped through the old Creel house... He isn't the same person he was before Chrissy died anymore.

"Hey, was the freak bothering you?" I struggle out of Jason's hold, walking to his car. "No, he wasn't, and don't call him that."

He opens the car, throwing his backpack into the backseat. "Come one, [y/n]. You know this guy's a satanic cult leader and murderer. Think of what he did to Chrissy."

It always spins back to this. It always becomes religious. Religion, whichever you pick, can be beautiful, but unstable people will always find a way to turn it into a weapon for their insane reasoning.

"He didn't do a thing to Chrissy, and you know it," I tell Jason, hating that I can't just explain everything to him. I honestly don't even think he would believe me. He's too far gone.

"I know what I saw," he insists as we sit in the car, harshly gripping my wrist. "Around him, things happen. Strange things, evil things."

His fixation on Eddie never eased, even after he was proven innocent. Jason believes in everything being the fault of the sweet metalhead, simply because he was in the wrong place, with the wrong person, at the wrong time.

"You need some serious therapy before this whole town joins your bullshit again, and we have a second Salem witch trial on our hands," I snarl at my cousin, ripping my wrist from his grasp.

The more delusional he becomes, the more violent even his slightest actions become.

"I'm just watching out for you," Jason tries to explain, driving out of the school's parking lot. "Do me a favor and don't," I ask of him, looking out of the window.

My conversation-ending tone, however, isn't enough for him. As if he could frighten me with his tough-guy act, he threatens, "Stay away from Munson, or I'm telling your parents."

I nod. "Well, in that case, I'm telling Aunt Iris and Uncle Frank of how you faked a house break-in to hide the aftermath of your School's Out Party '84."

The discussion finally dies. Jason turns on the radio, listening to the religious station he's recently so obsessed with, and I continue staring out the window, watching cars pass us by.

*****

After getting Holly to say goodbye to her parents, I tuck her in and walk into Nancy's bedroom. I sit beside Robin on the bed while Nancy does her makeup at her vanity.

"Hey, Nance? You think you could borrow me your notes for Kaminsky's class?" I ask as she is done putting on mascara.

"Yeah, here," she smiles, handing me her pink folder. "So you're really tutoring tonight instead of going out with us?"

I roll my eyes, laughing. "And I am babysitting, so you can go out."

"And we're very thankful for that," Robin snickers, styling the mane of the little plush zebra on Nancy's bed. "So, who's the poor soul fucking up chemistry?"

"Eddie," I answer, looking at the folder to avoid meeting their eyes.

"Oh, so it's that kind of a study date," Nancy says, and I meet her grin through the mirror.

"What? No. He needs help with Kaminsky's All-or-Nothing Test, and in exchange, he'll teach me how to play guitar," I begin explaining myself, but Robin nudges my arm, rolling on her back.

"Funny, 'cause when Steve needed tutoring, you were very clear about not being into trades, even when he offered you free ice cream."

"She's right," Nancy giggles, agreeing with Robin.

"No, she's not. I worked at Scoops myself, so I didn't need free ice cream. Eddie plays guitar exceptionally well, and I wanted to pay for classes with the money I would've earned. Two birds with one stone."

"And it has nothing to do with you having the hots for Munson?" Robin asks me deadpanned, and I fall silent. I feel my face heat up and shake my head.

Rolling back onto her stomach, Robin smacks my arm. "Oh, come on. [y/n], we grew up together. Journey, Led Zepplin, Dio, Black Sabbath... The phase when we were thirteen, and you were dead set on marrying Eddie Van Halen? How you drooled every time Munson passed Scoops when we were working?"

Nancy laughs loudly, and I shrug, regretting always telling Robin everything, although I know she can't keep secrets for longer than thirty minutes.

"So... I may have a type. That doesn't mean I have the hots for Eddie," I blatantly lie, Robin raising her eyebrows and grinning at me. "Which Eddie? Ours or Van Halen?"

"Fuck you," I cuss, making her only hug me and laugh at the fact that I never really curse.

Knocking on the door, Steve comes in, scanning Nancy up and down. "Hey, are you ready to leave? Mike is talking to El on the phone, and I'm getting really bored alone downstairs."

She nods, and so we all make our way downstairs. I send Mike to his room, telling him to call Eleven from the phone upstairs and walk to the front door with my friends.

Steve opens the door, almost bumping into Eddie, who was about to knock. "Munson," Steve says, surprised. "Harrington," Eddie replies, also greeting the other two. "Robin, Nancy."

His eyes fall on me, and I smile, "Hey. You got your books?" He nods, lifting his black backpack. I step aside, letting him in, "The living room's to the left. I'll be there in a second."

As Eddie can't hear us anymore, Robin grins, wiggling her eyebrows.

I ignore her. "Bye, guys. Have fun." "You too. Do nothing I wouldn't do," she cackles. I raise a brow as she hugs me. "Do I need to remind you that you're gay?"

Sticking her tongue out at me, she drags Steve to the car, Nancy already warming it up.

"Isn't Eddie coming with us?" he asks, confused, Robin wiggling her eyebrows again. "He and [y/n] are having a study date."

Steve's mom-mode kicks in the second he hears that. "Should we stay and help them study?" "Go to the movies," I insist. "Please, I can't work with you eyeing us down."

"You're staying in the living room and do nothing any of us would do. Except for Nancy. You can do what Nancy does," Steve tells me sternly.

I raise my eyebrows. "So, I'm allowed to have a shotgun and shoot Vecna?"

"No?" he asked me as though I'm completely nuts. "You can study. Nothing else."

"Yeah, no dirty couch sex," Robing calls over, making Nancy look mortified. "Robin," she exclaims, then looks at me with a pleading gaze, "Please don't have sex on my couch."

"I hate all three of you," I tell them, closing the front door just in time to hear Robin call after me, "Nah, you love us."

Shaking my head, I return to the living room, where Eddie is busy walking and looking around.

As he notices me, he grins. "I like this place." I smile back. "Yeah, the Wheelers have good taste."

Stretching his arms out, he spins slowly in the living room. "It's so big. I mean, look at this. All of this is the living room, and nobody sleeps here."

"Your uncle sleeps on the couch?" I ask without thinking, quickly regretting my question.

Eddie's cheeks become red, and he stops what he's doing. "Folding bed, but it's a good one..." he tries assuring me, voice falling flat with embarrassment.

I smile at him, sitting down on the carpet and unpacking my study materials on the coffee table. Grabbing his hand, I make Eddie sit beside me and hand him Nancy's pink folder.

"Y-You have a pretty handwriting," he compliments me while flipping through it. "Oh, those are Nancy's notes. She's so anal about them," I tell him, handing him some of my notes for comparison. "That's mine. Not that clean."

After staring at them for a few seconds, he looks at me. "Huh. Like yours better."

"Charmer," I say, my face becoming hot again. To distract, I hand Eddie my chemistry book. "Here."

"What are we doing?" Eddie asks as I hand him a bunch of sticky notes.

"We're transferring my notes into your book. I like to use those to write down simplifications, extra notes, and explanations, and then I stick them on my pages. I also color-coordinate the highlighter I use with the color of my sticky notes. I believe it's more comfortable to learn if it's easier on the eyes..."

Feeling Eddie stare at me, I stop talking, look back at him, and ask, "What?" He chuckles, shaking his head. "Nothing, just... thanks."

*****

"Wrong again. Maybe we should focus on-" After hours, I finally feel my patience running thin. "Eddie?"

"Huh?" He asks as though he hasn't been staring at me for the last five minutes.

Fuck, am I so boring that he starts zoning out?

"I was talking to you. I- Can you please try to concentrate?" I ask him, smiling, trying not to sound offended.

He nods, stretching a little before leaning over our books again. "Totally. Yeah. Sure. Sorry."

As he answers the question wrong again, a deep frown appears on his face. I sigh, putting my pen down. "Okay. How bout a break? I'll need to get Mike to go to bed anyway."

He nods, almost relieved, and I make my way upstairs. After some debating and a non-verbal threat, I take the phone out of Mike's room, and it's lights out as his parents requested. I know he'll still stay up some hours reading his comics, but I'm willing to let that slip.

When I come back into the living room, Eddie's gone. Instead, he sits outside on the porch, smoking.

"Hey, is that marihuana?" Of course, it is. He smiles at me charmingly. "It's just a little pot to help me concentrate," he says as if I wasn't about to jump his throat.

A wave of anger rushes over me. "Are you even taking the whole thing seriously? I mean, I've been sitting in there for three and a half hours, trying to teach you something, and the first chance you get, you run outside to get high."

I walk back inside, starting to pack my stuff. I apparently thought too highly of Eddie due to my years of crushing on him. I should've known he wasn't taking it seriously, but I just made a fool out of myself.

I hear fast footsteps behind me. "Hey, hey, [y/n]. Look, I'm sorry. I really just smoked some to concentrate." I turn around, and Eddie steps closer, pleading, "[y/n], please. I have no reason to lie to you. I promise I want to learn."

"Didn't seem like it," I murmur, and he nods.

"I- I know. It's- I struggle to focus, always have. If something isn't interesting enough, my brain just shuts off and then does silly little things it finds more interesting – like counting the little daisies on your top."

We both look down on my shirt and then at each other.

"Please, let's try it again. I swear, no more drugs, and you get me on my best behavior," he asks of me, giving me this distracting big smile again while he cups my cheeks.

"Okay," I nod, without even thinking twice. "Okay?" I nod again. "Okay, Munson. Sit down."

We sit back down, and for the next minutes, I could swear he tries really hard. But as we start working on a practicing sheet with many questions on it, his concentration seems to crumble again.

"I- I'm sorry. I think I mixed the questions up," Eddie mumbles, angry at himself.

"You always keep looking down on the next question while solving the one above," I observe, and he nods. I hand him an empty piece of paper. "Here, try that."

He holds it up, confused. "A piece of paper?" I take it, laying it over his worksheet. "As a divider. We cover the next questions, so you can't look at them."

From here on out, it actually seems to work. Yet, I yawn, exhausted from the hours of work before.

"I'm hopeless, aren't I?" Eddie asks, grinning at me. "No. I'm just tired," I answer. "You're actually doing well."

His grin becomes wider. "I so do not believe you." He gives me a gentle shove, making me giggle, "I'm serious. Especially now that we stopped you from mixing up the questions."

"Do you think I'll pass the test?" This time Eddie seems more serious; there is no smile on his face that would indicate that he has any hopes for it. "If you study enough... I mean, Kaminsky's tests are super hard, but like, I'll help you as much as you need me to."

"Nice way to say that I'm fucked, Sweetheart," he coos, hand moving up to my face again. His cold rings burn on my hot cheeks. "You have to study for your own finals. I can't have you hold my hand through my own mess."

"Eddie, I have my studies down and don't mind helping you," I tell him, although I'd rather whine as he removes his hand. I wish he would've left it there.

"Hey, you know what my mom made me do whenever I wanted to achieve something?" I ask him, taking one of Holly's green sheets of crafting paper and folding it in half. "Goal cards. Write down the reason you want to graduate."

"The reason? I'd say because I'm twenty and can't repeat class again?" He deadpans, making me shake my head.

"Not like that. I meant the hopes you have." Licking my lips, I admit, "Like, when I was thirteen, I made one, saying I wanted to learn how to play guitar. Inside I wrote that I was doing it to become a famous musician and marry Eddie Van Halen. Even glued a picture of him in it."

Eddie is quiet for a moment, then bursts into laughter. I shove him. "Stop laughing. I'm trying to help you here."

He nods, whipping away some tears, "Uh-huh." "Fuck you," I tell him in fake appall.

Eddie collects himself, shoving me back and mocking me, "Oh, such big words from such a proper little lady."

As calmness returns to the room, he grabs his pen and the card, opening it. He stares at it for a while, pen ever so often pushing onto the paper, but no words come out.

"Do I have to write it down?" he asks me, a little defeated, this time without a smile. "If you want, you can tell me, and I'll write it down for you," I offer, and he hands it over to me.

Eddie is silent for a while, caught in deep thoughts. Suddenly he says, "I- I want to graduate, so I'm not ending up like my dad."

I look up at him, not yet writing. He continues to explain himself, "He dropped out, married his high school sweetheart, and just barely got by with petty crimes or – you know – selling drugs and stealing cars. Then mom died, and he just spiraled, became violent..."

As his voice loses its strength, I ask, "Where's he now?"

Eddie shrugs. "Does it matter? Prison? Maybe dead?" he says. "Uncle Wayne took me in after CPS contacted him about my dad breaking my arm when he was high... He told his younger brother to fuck off, and we haven't heard from him since."

We're quiet. I don't know what to say. I can't even remember his parents. I only know the version of Eddie that he is now.

"I changed my mind," he then says, tapping on his goal card. "Write that I wanna be a better nephew to Wayne... Don't wanna be a burden anymore, a fuck-up."

I shake my head. "Eddie, you're not a burden. Your uncle loves you."

He nods. "And I only disappoint him. I can't even fucking finish high school. I sit in my room all day, preparing for my D&D campaigns or playing guitar. I sell drugs to assholes that love beating the crap out of me for being a freak, and now I am also a satanic cult leader with demonic powers that murdered Chrissy and two other guys I didn't even know... Yeah, [y/n]. I totally don't sound like a burden."

I'm shocked at how low Eddie seems to actually think of himself. Behind this always smiling and joking façade, there seem to hide years of self-hatred and a, probably trained by his father and the school system, thought of being a worthless burden.

"You took in freshmen, nerdy little kids that don't fit in. You let them be part of your club so they wouldn't have to be alone or get bullied," I argue, having him shrug. "Somebody had to. People can be real assholes."

"You saved Hawkins." "Not like I can tell anyone about it."

I smile a little, "Well, you also saved me from those bats, almost getting killed while trying." "Matter, of course. Everyone would've done that."

I shake my head, "No, they wouldn't, and you know it. Jason didn't care for Lucas or Max, even though he claimed to have beaten Lucas to protect her. He just pissed himself, ran away, and saved his own ass."

Eddie gives me a half-hearted smile and lays his hand on mine, patting it several times. I close the cart and hand it to him. "How about you keep your goal card and write something inside it once it feels right, okay?"

He nods, putting it between the pages of his book where I think it will get forgotten. Then he opens the book on one of the other chapters, pointing at something.

"Can we go over that E cell stuff again?" He asks, clearly wanting to change the subject. I nod. He's been open enough for one evening. "Sure."

After learning for another hour, I fall asleep, face on the coffee table. When I wake up, Eddie is gone, only his leather jacket draped over me like a blanket. In my book, I find a small note asking me to study with him at his place on Friday.

*****

"You call me, and I'll pick you up; my number's on the back," Jason lectures me as he holds his car in front of the Munson trailer, handing me one of the phones from his duffle bag. "I'm meeting with friends, but should you need anything-"

"Don't sell your soul to the devil, and please call me. Yeah, I know," I interrupt him, eying the mobile phone in my hand. "Those things are starting to become really small, or am I crazy?"

He sighs, hating that I am going to spend the day in the trailer his girlfriend died in, with the guy who was the last to have seen her alive.

"Seriously, [y/n]. The minute he tries something, or you realize you're in a circle of blood with strange symbols drawn around it-" "Yeah, because that happens so casually often," I interrupt my cousin again.

"This is about your safety," he tells me as though I am unreasonable. "No, this is about you being paranoid and needing therapy," I answer, grabbing my bag and getting out of the car. "Thanks for driving me. See ya later."

I walk over to the trailer, knocking a couple of times. After a few seconds, Wayne Munson, Eddie's uncle, opens the door.

"Yeah?" he asks, holding a baseball bat behind his back. A safety precaution, I understand but disklike that he has to have.

"Hi, Mr. Munson. I'm here to see Eddie." He eyes me up and down, and I add, "I'm his friend. I help him study."

He looks over my shoulder, nodding to Jason's car with his chin. "And your friend in the car? That's Jason Carver, that little bastard," he says, highly suspicious of me.

"He's my cousin. My parents want him to drive me around since the earthquake," I explain, and his face becomes softer. "I'm sorry, Kid. I-"

I interrupt him with a smile. I understand why he has to be protective of Eddie after all that happened. "No, don't worry. I'm not crazy about that mental case either," I say. "Uhm, can I come in? I'm afraid he might get out of the car if we stay out here for too long."

Wayne lets me in, closing and locking the door behind me. From Eddie's room comes the sound of an acoustic guitar playing 'Sweet Leaf', one of my favorite songs.

"Eddie, your friend is here," he calls down the small hallway. I join him, calling, "Hi, Eddie."

We hear some rummaging and cussing, then Eddie practically rushes out of his room, only wearing his boxers.

"Hey, [y/n]," he greets me as I instantly look the other way, feeling my face burn like fire.

"Son, put some damn close on. You're in the presents of a lady, for God's sake," his uncle scolds him, and after a millisecond, Eddie cusses like a sailor.

"Shit, fuck. Sorry, I just woke up. I- It'll only be a second," he tells me, and from the bumping sound, I figure he almost ran into his bedroom door.

"Uh-huh. Take your time," I tell him, finally looking in his direction again as the door closes.

"Now, [y/n], can I offer you something to drink?" Wayne asks me, and I shake my head. "No, thanks. I'm good," I tell him, looking around the living area I know pretty well in both this dimension and whatever the Upside Down is.

It is scary to think that the portal simply closed, not leaving an ounce of trace that it ever even existed.

My eyes fall to the folding bed, open in the middle of the room. Eddie's uncle rushes over, taking the blanket and pillow and putting them inside the couch's storage department.

"Sorry, he didn't tell me he'd expected someone," he explains, embarrassed, folding away his bed. I smile at him, shaking my head. "Don't worry. Really."

The awkward silence is broken by Eddie coming out dressed in black, ripped jeans and a washed-out band shirt.

"Hey, hi," he greets me again. "Hi," I answer.

"I- I made the study cards you told me to," he explains proudly, and I grin. "Do they work?" "I think so. C'mon."

With his hand on my back, he escorts me to his room, signaling me to sit down on his bed. I, instead, only put my bag there and look around his room. In bright daylight and without the risk of dying or Robin screaming that we need music to save Nancy, it's actually nice in here.

It helps that it's also cleaner than last time and smells like air freshener and fresh linen.

"Edward, the door stays open," Wayne calls into the room, just as I pass a pile of clothes next to his closet, to look at the small, hand-painted figures that I think belong to his dungeons and dragons game.

I turn around, looking at Eddie. "So, the door stays open," I tease him jokingly, and he nods, becoming red while scratching the back of his curly head.

"Yeah. When something happens again, Wayne can give me an alibi saying he saw you the whole time during your visit and that you were okay."

My smile instantly vanishes, and I begin to apologize, "Oh, right. Sorry, I didn't think of that. I thought it was because-" "Because I'm having a pretty girl in my room?" he asks, tilting his head and stepping closer.

My breath hitches as he backs me up closer to the wall; I bump into the dresser behind me. "Naughty girl," he whispers with a mischievous grin as he cages me between his arms and his dresser.

I shake my head, becoming dizzy, "I- I- I didn't-" He chuckles, "I'm just teasing you, Carver. Calm down."

I am almost disappointed as he steps away, truly having only teased me. I turn my back to him before he can see the look on my face, but my gaze meets a mirror, showing me my pout.

Silly. It's silly that I'm sad he wasn't actually flirting with me. I focus on the guitar hanging in front of the mirror. Sweetheart, that's what Eddie calls the guitar. I begin chewing on my bottom lip, telling myself that I don't need this metalhead to like me back.

It would be too difficult anyway. Especially in fucked up times like these, where we don't know when Vecna returns.

Doesn't make me want Eddie any less, though...

"You like her?" Eddie asks behind me. I nod, suddenly feeling his hand on my shoulder, moving me back to the bed. "Well, not gonna let you touch her just yet. You need to learn acoustic first."

As I sit down on his bed, Eddie takes the black acoustic guitar full of band stickers that was leaning next to it and kneels down in front of me, showing it to me.

"This is Honey. She was my first guitar, first love, if you will," he chuckles. "She's pretty," I whisper. Eddie nods, "Glad you think so, 'cause she's yours now."

"What?" I exclaim, making him laugh. "Don't look so shocked," he says. "You need a guitar to practice on."

"But she's yours." He nods again, laying the guitar on my lap. "And she's been painfully neglected for years now, especially since I bought Sweetheart. Now take her and be good to her."

"Thank you," I whisper, following the outline of an old Metallica sticker.

As I look up, mine and Eddie's eyes meet. He'd been watching me closely. We grin at each other a little stupidly, and I feel my heart race like it's trying to win a marathon.

"I made you something," he says suddenly, jumping up and grabbing a bunch of small cards from one of his drawers. "Those are the different chords and where you have to put your fingers."

On the cards are drawn guitars necks, dots on the exact spots where my fingers need to be. "These are awesome, Eddie. And you really made those cards for me?"

He nods, cheeks turning pink, "We have a deal, after all. And if I teach you how to play guitar, I damn well will make sure you're becoming a real star at it."

I put the guitar aside and take his jacket out of my backpack, awkwardly and completely flustered, handing it to him. "You forgot your jacket at the Wheelers' home a couple of days ago."

"I didn't want you to freeze," he says, throwing it aside. "Why did you leave?"

"Because I know the reaction people have when they see me. I didn't want Mike's parents to think I was there to sacrifice their kids or have them be mad at you for letting me in."

I bite my lips again. "I wish you would've stayed. We could've gone home together." "I could've driven you home..." he smiles for a second before it vanishes again. "But people know my van, can't have you be seen with me."

Before I can stop myself, I say, "I don't mind being seen with you, Eddie."

He stares at me, touched, chocolate brown eyes becoming glassy, "T-That's a C. You think you can play it?" he quickly asks, swallowing hard and handing me one of the cards as a distraction.

I take the guitar but struggle with my finger placement. Eddie notices it and crawls behind me on the neatly made bed.

Hands on my waist, he makes me sit between his legs and helps me hold the guitar correctly. "Is that okay?" he asks, looking at me over my shoulder.

I nod, and he takes my fingers, placing them on the strings. As they are placed, he hands me a pick and helps me play that note. It sounds correct, and I smile at him. Eddie smiles back at me as though I just performed a concert for him.

"There you go, rockstar," he chuckles, placing my fingers differently again.

For a while, we play the chords, and I become more and more comfortable with his arms around me. It feels nice. Safe and calm.

We're both ripped from the moment as Wayne knocks on the open bedroom door. "Hey, you two. I'm going to work. Can I leave you both alone?"

Eddie nods, barely acknowledging his uncle. "Uh-huh."

"Eddie, are you sure-"

This time he looks up, interrupting his uncle, "Yes, Wayne. We're just playing guitar and studying a little. I promise nothing shady will happen." Eddie looks at me, "Right?"

I nod, assuring his uncle, "Oh, yeah. Absolutely not. I'm also getting picked up later."

The man nods, hand running over his head. "Okay. I- I'm just worried."

"I know," Eddie tells him, this time seeming to accept and understand his uncle's worries. They share a serious look that shows concern and affection.

Then Eddie smiles again, pointing at the polaroid camera on his dresser, "Hey, can you take a picture of us?" He asks, having his uncle nod. "Sure, son."

"That's okay for you, is it?" Eddie whispers into my ear, making goosebumps appear on my skin. I grin, nodding lovesick.

After taking a picture of us, me seated between Eddie's legs, the guitar in our hands, Wayne hands the picture to his nephew, wishing us goodbye, "It was nice to meet you, [y/n]. See you in the morning, kid."

"Oh, I'm gonna keep that one," Eddie whispers delightedly, looking at the picture.

I put the guitar aside, trying to look at the polaroid. "Why?"

"No reason," he tells me, standing up. I follow him, "Why, Eddie?"

"Because you look cute in it," he says, but this isn't enough for me.

I try to grab the picture, but he holds it up. Therefore, I stand as close to him as possible, standing on the tip of my toes to reach it.

Eddie wraps an arm around my waist, starting to spin us around. "Care for a dance, milady?

"You're so weird," I giggle, unable to reach the picture, but holding on to his wrist.

"Oh, Sweetheart, I'm completely insane," he tells me, stopping our spinning. "Now sit down and tutor me."

He softly pushes me back on the bed, and I make myself comfortable, looking at my own study cards while Eddie sits down next to me, going through his own. I have no idea where the polaroid picture went, but I sure hope I don't look ridiculous in it.

After two hours of learning together, Eddie lies back, staring at the ceiling. "I need a break."

I put the guitar aside and join him. "Same. My fingers are killing me."

"Yeah... Takes some time till you build up calluses," he chuckles, taking my hand into his, gently kissing my sore fingertips and stealing my breath. "Pretty soon, your pretty lil fingers will look like mine."

I don't know how he does it, but Eddie makes my heart beat so fast I feel like becoming dizzy; he always had me wrapped around his finger in that way, even as I only knew him from afar.

He's everything that my parents taught me to avoid, but I want to admire him forever.

"So you think I'll pass the test?" He asks me with a crooked smile, luring me back into reality. "Hm... I'd say I'm 99.9% sure," I smile, making him nod bothered as he lets go of my hand.

"Yeah, still room for me to fail." I prob myself up on my elbows, assuring him, "Well, I believe you'll make it."

A grin creeps over his features, making me certain that mischief is brewing together a plan under his curly mop of hair. "Would you be mad at me if I'd smoke one as a reward?"

I shake my head, and he sits up, grabbing a pre-rolled joint from his cluttered nightstand. "Do you want to...?" He offers, lighting it and taking a hit.

I shrug, uncertain since I've never done something like it before. "Uh... I- I don't know."

He looks at me with a serious face. "Hey, I'm not somebody that's pressuring others into things. I just thought... Would you want to try it? Now would be your chance, and it's safest to get high for the first time when there's somebody with you who has experience and watches over you."

I sit up as well, nodding. It isn't like I never wanted to try it.

"You sure?" He asks sternly, trying to avoid a reaction of mine that is solely based on the need to impress him.

I nod again. "Yes. Please."

Eddie leans over, holding the joint's butt to me. I lean forward, lips on the joint, taking my first pull; his eyes are on me, face as close as possible to inspect me.

"There you go. Small hits, baby," he coos his instructions. "Hold it, and now let go," I do as he says, coughing a little due to the smoke in my lungs. "Burns a little, I know."

It is hard not to stare as we lock eyes, his chocolate brown ones metaphorically bringing me to my knees. He has me smoke half of the joint, and as stupid as I feel for thinking like that, it feels intimate.

The way his big hands bring the joint back and forth between us, the gentle way he coos and praises me, and his eyes, his eyes are on me, so fascinated and intrigued as though I am one of the dirty magazines he unsuccessfully tried to hide under the bed.

I love that gaze of his and want to find a way to make it stay, although I probably just over-romanticize it because of the pot and my crush on Eddie.

As he puts the joint's end into the ashtray on his nightstands, I let myself fall back onto his mattress. "This feels nice," I say, feeling wholly carefree and peaceful for the first time since Vecna.

Eddie lies down beside me, explaining, "Yeah, it's the good stuff. Knocks us out for a while, perfect for relaxing."

We lay on our sides, facing each other. As he reaches out and brushes his knuckles over my cheek, I notice some ink on the back of his hand. I take it and read, 'Clean bedroom. [y/n].' on it.

I like my name on his skin; a weird thing to feel, but it fills me with a bit of pride.

"You forgot that," I tease him, pointing at the to-do list on the back of his hands. He chuckles, "Baby, I wasn't in school so that I could clean up."

I sit up, looking around. Then I giggle. "Okay..." "Hey," Eddie warns me in fake appall. "I even changed the sheets today."

I'd noticed the sweet, floral smell of the linen under me earlier, so I nod. "I appreciate the effort," I tell him, laying back down and kicking off my shoes.

"Where will life take you after graduation, Carver?" He asked as I make myself comfortable on his mismatched set of pillows.

"Where will it take you?" I ask back, but he quickly dismisses my question. "We both know I'll stay trailer trash, now answer me."

I sigh, saying my secret plan out loud for the first time, "I'll take the trust fund I'll gain access to once I have my diploma and run."

He furrows his brows. "So you'll leave us?"

"I meant that metaphorically," I say, making him look confused. "My family had different funds set up for me when I was born. One for high school graduation, one for college, one for marrying, and one for when I have children – a son, to be specific..." I explain.

"That sounds like a very thought-through version of manipulation," Eddie concludes, angered, seeming disgusted by my family's forced conforming.

"It is. I grew up thinking that I have to achieve all these set goals, but now..." Another sigh escapes me. "We don't know when Vecna will return, and every fight becomes more dangerous. I don't want to go to college and become a rich, famous, whatever. I don't want to play happy housewife for an upper-class jock my parents pick for me.

"If I die, I want to be able to look back and know I chose my happiness instead of social obligation."

My whole life, I'd been the perfect, preppy, old-money daughter my family had wanted. I exceeded in school, never went to parties, and stayed away from 'bad apples'. But I'd almost died, and as the weeks had passed, I came to realize that I would've left a life of unfulfilled dreams behind. One I'd only lived to make my parents proud.

"You thought about that a lot, huh?" I nod. "Ever since the bats attacked us."

My hand wanders over Eddie's stomach, resting on a spot I know is now holding a serious scar. He'd gotten it while protecting me from the bats as I'd tried to lure them from the trailer.

"Does it still hurt?" "Only sometimes. At least I have some very metal scars now," he jokes, hand coming up to my thigh.

Under my clothes, I hide some scars as well. It's not like I am ashamed of them. Why should I be? But they need to heal and fade enough to stop looking like bites first – as my family believes they come from an accident caused by the earthquake.

"What about yours?" Eddie asks, and I nod. "Same here. Do you sometimes dream of the Upside Down?"

"Aren't we all?" he chuckles, pushing down the trauma we all experienced. "It took me a while to even realize that all that actually happened, and when the wounds stopped hurting..."

"It'll get easier," I assure him as his arm moves up to my waist—another spot where a scar rests. I'm surprised he still remembers all of the spots.

"Right, wasn't your first rodeo," he remembers. "So, what are you doing with the money? Your trust fund, I mean."

I grin, biting my bottom lip, "You know the retail park between Hawkins and Derry?" "Who doesn't?" he laughs. "I wanna rent a space there and have my own music store. Sell instruments, cassette tapes, records... All of it."

Eddie's eyes become wide, sparkly. I seem to have piqued his interest. "Sounds amazing." "You think?" I ask, and he nods. "Totally. We'll always have music, so you'll always have a job there."

Either his reaction, his touch, or the pot – maybe all three of the things combined – have me smile. I prop myself on my elbow, hand dancing over the letters of his old Black Sabbath shirt.

"If you're not too set on becoming trailer trash..." I start, feeling his heartbeat under my fingers. "I could always use a good business partner who loves music."

"Be careful with those words, Sweetheart," Eddie warns me, propping himself up as well. "'Cause if you mean them, you'll never, never, ever get rid of me."

As he begins towering over me, I whisper, "Sounds good to me."

And just like that, his lips collide with mine. I feel like bursting into flames, like I am losing my mind, and as though I only imagine this moment. I let myself fall back into the pillows, taking Eddie with me as he crawls on top of me.

The kiss is heated and longing. Eddie's hand cradles my face, wanders upwards, and his fingers tangle themselves into my hair. I gasp into the kiss as he tugs on my hair, my hips jolting up due to the literal electricity he created within me.

Suddenly the kiss stops. Eddie sits back up on his heels and looks as though he just violated me. "I- I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you. That wasn't okay. You're high, you're-"

I sit up as well, embarrassment almost making me dizzy as I admit, "That had nothing to do with me being high. Did- Did you just do it because...?"

He shakes his head so harshly that I fear he'd give himself whiplash. "Was looking for a chance to do that for a while now."

I can't believe his words, asking, "Really?"

Eddie nods, looking me up and down as he licks his lips, "Jesus, you're so fucking pretty. Makes me dizzy."

We giggle and smile at each other childishly. I'd never thought he'd be interested in someone like me. I'm not an innocent, happy-go-lucky, preppy cheerleader like Chrissy was. I'm not a cool, not caring what people think of me – metalhead like him.

I am basic, normal. I go to school and do my homework, I listen to all types of music, mostly not even caring for genres since I mix through them all the time anyway, and I dress uncoordinated, solely based on what makes me happy that morning.

I've always thought I was invisible, one of the nice girls you see for five minutes in a movie and have totally forgotten about by the time the credits come on. This had given me some advantages as we saved Hawkins but socially made me feel out of place...

Eddie leans closer again, making me back onto the pillows, his knee between my legs. "That okay?" he asks softly, and I nod.

He towers over me, making my heart beat irrationally. He's so beautiful, and the fact that he wants me has me forget everything, even my name. I push myself up, cupping his cheeks; our eyes lock as he looks just as surprised and overwhelmed about all this as I am.

This time, I kiss him. His lips are soft and gentle as he kisses me back, hands carefully roaming my body as though I'm made of glass. I kissed a few guys before, but none of them had ever made me feel like this.

It feels so right. Like I was made to be in Eddie's arms, being accepted although coming with nothing else to offer than myself.

As our kiss becomes messy, something I've never experienced before, our hands become greedy and inquisitive. As my nails dig into his upper arms, Eddie's hand cups my clothed breast, groping it harshly.

As I moan into the kiss, he chuckles, kissing down my neck and plastering its skin with hickeys and soft love bites.

I moan again, hips jolting up and causing me to whimper as I accidentally rub my most sensitive area against his thigh. "Fuck," I softly cry, repeating the motion once more.

Pecking my lips softly, Eddie places himself now entirely between my legs. I can feel his erection through our clothes, right where I want him most.

"Nice, huh?" he asks teasingly, rolling his hips against me and enjoying how my eyes roll back.

Our lips find each other again, and while we sloppily begin making out again, our bodies move in unison, friction having us moan and gasp into our kisses.

As his hand sneaks under my shirt, cool rings kissing the warmth of my body, I stop Eddie. Propping myself up a little, I stammer, embarrassed, "Can we just- I don't- I never..."

I've never done anything like this before. Before today, I never kissed somebody with this much passion, never let one touch me like this. I've never felt this need, lighting my body on fire, before... And it scares me. I am not sure if I want to go any further than this.

Eddie smiles and softly chuckles. He leans down, kissing my cheek. "No worries. Rule one of being high is not to make big decisions when high. Have two tattoos proofing that point."

Somehow, I expected him to be mad at me.

"So you're okay with just kissing?" I ask, concerned, but he drops onto his elbows, forehead against mine. "I could do that for a lifetime."

Turning on some music, which plays softly in the background, we fall into another kiss, and another, and another. At one point, Eddie even has me sitting in his lap, hands groping my ass as he bucks his hips against me.

Only as our lips are sore, we cuddle on his bed, lips still coming together for little kisses from time to time.

I fall asleep in his arms, feeling safe and happy; I dream of this moment lasting forever.

*****

The next time I open my eyes, it is dark around me. I hate being in the dark, I become nervous and scared. Time has shown me over and over again why I should stay away from the darkness, but Eddie's chest, slowly rising underneath me and his arm around me, have me calm.

Closing my eyes again, I try to go back to sleep.

"She was supposed to be home hours ago, old man!" An angry voice yells outside the trailer.

"Listen, I am sure there is an explanation-" an older voice tries to communicate calmly but is interrupted.

"I don't give a shit about your excuses. You and that satanic scumbag-"

The older raises his voice warningly, "Hey, be careful what you're saying."

Eddie moves underneath me, laying on his side and pulling me into a hug. Suddenly he jumps up, turning on the lights. "Oh shit. Shit, shit, shit."

"What is it?" I ask sleep-drunkenly. "We fell asleep, Sweetheart. It's 5 a.m.," he explains loud but softly.

I jump out of bed the second my brain processes his words. "No!" I exclaim, looking at the radio alarm on Eddie's nightstand. I pull on my shoes, Eddie throwing over his jacket.

"[y/n]! [y/n], are you in there?" The angry voice from before yells, and I have a realization. "Fuck, that's Jason," I tell Eddie, who nods, handing me my backpack.

We rush outside and see Jason and his friends in front of the trailer. Wayne stands there on the steps, a baseball bat in his hand. They're all looking at Eddie and me.

I look back and forth between Wayne and Jason. "I- I'm so sorry. We fell asleep, I-" "I called you a hundred times," Jason interrupts.

I push past Wayne, walking down the steps. Eddie's uncle keeps him in the trailer, not letting him out.

"I just told you I fell asleep," I answer my cousin as he walks closer, looking at my disheveled appearance, then at Eddie's.

"What have you done to her, Munson?" Jason growls, and I step between him and the stairs. "He did nothing. What's wrong with you?"

He's clearly drunk and out for confrontation with his favorite victim.

"Fuck, you smell like a distillery," I mutter, having to look away to catch a huff of fresh air.

"We're leaving. Wait till Aunt-" my cousin tries to threaten me, grabbing my arm and walking us to the car. I shake my head, interrupting him. "You're drunk. I'm not letting you drive me."

As I try to pull my arm from his grasp, he hardens his grip. "[y/n]," he warns, trying to drag me to the car. "No," I exclaim, trying to stop walking, but Jason becomes rougher. "Ow."

"Hey, don't grab her like that," Eddie calls over, forcing himself past his uncle.

"Or what, Freak? What satanic monster from hell do you want to summon here in front of everyone?" Jason asks, irritated, fumbling his keys out of his pocket, a little cross keychain on it.

By now, half of the trailer park residents have noticed what is happening. All looking, nobody intervening.

"Man, just- just let go of her arm," Eddie tries to reason with Jason. "Please, you're hurting her."

As he takes a couple of steps closer, my cousin raises his keychain. "Don't come near us."

"Eddie, it's okay," I tell the sweet metalhead, then look to his uncle, who has his baseball bat equipped. "It's okay."

"Are you sure, girl?" Wayne asks me, concerned, but I nod.

"Yeah. I..." I finally can escape Jason's grasp and look at him and his friends. "Is anyone of you guys sober?" None are, so I sigh, "Kay. Give me your keys and get into the car."

Jason obliges since me driving the car means he gets what he wants, and I leave with him. I have the drunken jocks get back into the car, noticing that one had held a wheel-wrench the entire time.

I buckle Jason in the passenger's seat, make sure his friends buckle in as well and grab the wrench. Shaking my head, I look over at Eddie and his uncle, waving at them and trying to force a smile on my lips as I got into the driver's seat.

Leaving the trailer park, the drunks in the back fall promptly asleep, while Jason seems to calm down, experiencing an adrenaline crash. He tells me the addresses of his friends, and I drive everyone home.

"I was worried," he explains, head heavily resting on the headrest of his seat.

"I know," I sigh, having just dropped off the last one of his friends.

"I miss Chrissy," he mumbles, and I watch him take out the little velvet box he carries around everywhere. "I thought we would be together forever."

Jason had planned on proposing to his high school sweetheart after graduation. Chrissy was dead for months now, but he still carried the ring around.

I look at the broken shell of a man beside me. Jason had lost his mind when he'd lost his girlfriend. Our family believes he just needs time, but he desperately needs therapy.

He wasn't always like this; he was a good guy; we grew up like siblings – Yeah, sure, he was a little douchey sometimes, but he was the guy nice to mostly everyone—a preppy, old-money boy.

His moral compass hadn't been broken before he came into contact with Vecna's darkness.

"Eddie didn't hurt Chrissy," I tell him, but he looks at me with tears in his eyes. "I know what I saw."

I can't tell him about the Upside Down, which makes me helpless. I have to sit between the chairs, see Eddie being hated, and watch my cousin lose his sanity, and there is nothing I can do about it.

"Look," I start, carefully thinking of how to phrase my sentences, "I know what you saw. I know how it looked like and how much it scared you, but Eddie was solely at the wrong time in the wrong place when... when Chrissy and Patrick were attacked."

Jason looks at me in disbelief, his eyes wandering down to my neck, where he notices the marks left by Eddie.

"So that's how it is," he says disgustedly, sitting back in his seat and refusing to look at me again. "You let the freak fuck you, and now you're excusing him and his actions. You're choosing him instead of your own family and friends and completely disregard his victims."

"That's not what I'm doing, Jason," I say. "If- If you really think there is something evil and satanic going on... Maybe the monster hunted Chrissy and Patrick, and when it attacked, Eddie just happened to be there."

He shakes his head. "Munson is a vessel. I don't know when he became one, but I know what got him there... This satanic game and the music he listens to."

"Jason, Dungeons & Dragons is a fantasy game. It's like being the main character in The Hobbit. You know we loved that book when we were younger. It's harmless, and Eddie is basically a sweet nerd with rough edges. And his taste in music...

"It's just metal. You know it doesn't make you a murderer. You secretly bought me my first Black Sabbath cassette tape when Mom and Dad forbid me to have it."

He ignores me, angry tears in his eyes while he continues to fidget with the velvet box in his hand. I start the car and drive us to my place. I am too tired and frustrated to drive any more than that.

*****

"[y/n], do you have any idea how worried we were?" my father yells angrily, Mom agreeing. "You stay out all night, and your cousin has to pick you up from a trailer park."

I sigh, pressing my palms onto the cold kitchen table. "Come on. He was drunk as hell. I had to drive him and his friends home. You can barely say he picked me up."

Jason had used the hurt he felt from losing Chrissy and our talk in the car to unload all his paranoia of the night on my parents, then went to bed in our guest bedroom, leaving me to pick up the mess.

"Still, your behavior-" I interrupt my Dad, "I know. I made a mistake, and I am sorry. Can I now please go to my room?"

"No. I don't want you to see that boy anymore." "What?" I ask loudly.

"This Munson kid has caused enough harm. I will be damned if I let you end up like Chrissy Cunningham," Dad yells determent, making me shake my head.

"Eddie had nothing to do with Chrissy's death."

"We don't know that for sure," Mom says, trying to be the calm voice of reason as my father becomes angrier by the second.

"Yes, we do," I argue. "Jason has been spinning out of control for months now. Why isn't anybody in this fucking town questioning his bullshit accusations?"

Mom hands my father his coffee, and he takes it to the living room. Simply leaving the discussion like he always does. Then she sits down beside me, trying to hold my hand.

"People wouldn't find it so easy to believe if the Munson boy hadn't given them so many reasons to."

I let out a sarcastic laugh, then scoff, "Funny, 'cause when people tried to – very rightfully so – suspect that our family's wealth comes from decades of slavery and human trafficking, you both told me that foolish people are willing to believe everything just to run their mouths."

"[y/n]..."

I shake my head, so angry at my family's hypocrisy, "You're not treating Eddie fair. You're judging him and his character through his upbringing, social status, and nonsensical rumors from an unstable family member."

"Hun, I know you like that boy, and dating a bad boy sounds exciting for girls your age – I know, I've been there – But boys like that have the power of ruining your life."

"You don't know him, Mom," I tell her, tears in my eyes. The Upside Down had thoroughly messed up my relationship with my family. "When the earthquake hit Hawkins, I was with Eddie and our friends. If he hadn't been there, I would be dead now. He saved me."

Mom looks at me, shocked. I've refused to talk about the accident until now since I still haven't thought out a perfect lie. I see the pain in my mother's eyes, I know she loves me, and after so many died due to the earthquake, it terrifies her that I could've been one of them.

"Mom, Eddie's a little weird, sometimes completely bonkers, loud, and obnoxious, but he is neither dangerous nor bad for me."

She presses her lips together, trying not to mess up her perfectly applied lipstick. Then she nods. "Go to bed. We'll talk once you have had some sleep."

I go to my room, locking the door behind me. Dressing in some fresh underwear and an oversized band t-shirt my mother hates, I lay down on my bed.

It's already light outside, soon, my dad will go to work, and my mom will pop some uppers and drive around town, spending some money on things we don't need and thinking about what to serve for dinner.

I wonder if I would've ever noticed how dysfunctional our family is, even with all our money, wouldn't I've gotten involved with Will's vanishing?

Would I've ever known how much more important my happiness is than following my family's plans and traditions?

Knocking on my bedroom window pulls me from my thoughts. On the tree branch in front of my window stands Eddie.

"What are you doing here?" I ask as I open it, letting him in.

"I wanted to see if you're okay... And I brought your guitar," he smiles, turning the strep across his chest and putting Honey into my view. I'd forgotten the guitar in my hurry.

"I'm sorry, [y/n]. He grabbed you really hard. I- I should've defended you," Eddie says, hands running up and down my arm, causing goosebumps to appear.

"Jason was drunk and with his friends. They were only looking for a reason to hurt you," I tell him as he hands me the guitar, and I place it on the floor next to my vanity.

I turn on some music, not too loud to annoy anybody, but loud enough to hide that I wasn't alone. Eddie, meanwhile, starts snooping around, almost reminding me of a puppy being in its new home for the first time.

"Now that's a preppy room. I've never seen a preppy room, but this one..." he chuckles, his big button eyes filled with amusement. "I know. Mom decorated it."

He looks further around while I sit down on my bed. As he opens my closet door, a poster of Eddie Van Halen has him crack up before he goes on a deep dive to see all the things I hide in there from my parents.

"Now, that's more like you," Eddie exclaims, pulling out my old working uniform. "You know, I always walked by Scoops Ahoy when I was at the mall... Always hoped to see you."

With butterflies in my stomach, I watch him hang the uniform back into the closet. "I saw you walking by a couple of times. Why didn't you talk to me?"

He shrugs, walking to the end of my bed. "I chickened out. I mean, would you've actually talked to Eddie 'The Freak' Munson, or would you've called for Harrington to protect you?"

"I would've loved having you talk to me," I assure him, and he begins to grin. "Careful; I might start believing you had a crush on me, Sweetheart."

I crawl to the end of my bed, pulling Eddie down by his jacket. His grin becomes bigger before his lips press down on mine. I shuffle back to my pillows, pushing his jacket over his shoulder and throwing it aside. We kiss again as he makes himself comfortable between my legs.

Eddie breaks the kiss, whispering, "I need to leave before your parents come in and find us like that."

His knuckles brush over my cheeks, a soft smile on his lips, and I realize that I don't want him to leave—the quite opposite, actually. I want him to be even closer to me.

"My door's locked," I tell him with a cheeky grin. "They think I'm sleeping."

His softness quickly begins harboring an aura of mischief. "Naughty little thing," he whispers, pressing his lips against mine.

The kiss becomes rough and demanding as Eddie growls into it, starting to explore my mouth with his tongue. After hours of doing nothing else last night, his hands on my body and lips on my own feel natural. My fingers glide into his curly mane while I start rocking my hips against him, searching for friction.

An excited whimper leaves me, and I reach for his belt. "N-No, Sweetheart," Eddie stops me gently. "We have no condoms."

"Pill," I exclaim, needier than planned. "I'm on the pill." He raises his brows for a second, and I add, "I started taking it as part of a feminism phase Robin and I had."

Eddie props himself up, looking at me, insecure. "And you're sure you actually want that? I'm not really the upper-class jock your parents want for you."

I'm looking up at this intimidatingly looking metalhead, smiling. Looks can be so deceiving. "I know, and I like you better that way," I tell him, watching his self-doubt melt away and replace with a contented smile.

Pulling his shirt over his head, he tosses it somewhere in my room. I goggle at his naked chest, the tattoos, the scars, the happy trail. I'm close to tears, and I don't know why; my body feels like I'm being lit on fire; all I can think of is how badly I want him.

"I want you," I whine, hips moving up against nothing. "Please..."

Eddie leans down, pecking my lips for a moment, "I know, baby. I want you too." As he moves back up, he grabs the hem of my shirt, waiting. I lift my back enough so he can take it off me. He tosses it over his shoulder, eyes locking with my breasts.

"Shit," he mutters under his breath, eyes wandering across the room for a moment. As he looks at me again, he licks his lips. "You're so beautiful."

He drops onto his elbows, kissing me again. Eddie's hands roam my body; thighs, stomach, breasts; there is no place he doesn't explore. So at one point, his fingers glide over my clothes pussy.

I try to move into his touch. Eddie chuckles, pulling my panties aside and letting his fingers run through my folds. He grunts into the kiss, moving up a little, "Holy fuck, Sweetheart. You're so wet."

I nod, embarrassed, swallowing a loud moaning the second he touches my swollen clit. He shushes me gently, pecking my lips, then moves his fingers to his mouth. They glisten in the morning sun, and as he licks my wetness from them, I become dizzy for a second.

Eddie grins at me, fully aware of the effect he just had on me. He comes closer again, kissing me and letting me taste myself on his tongue. Then he kisses my neck, wandering down and stopping at my breast, gently sucking on my left nipple while playing with my right one.

I struggle to stay quiet, hating the thought of having to wait any longer. "Eddie, please," I whine, hips jolting up and meeting with his clothed erection.

He grabs the waistband of my panties, making me lift my hips to help him remove them. They are quickly thrown aside, my hands on his belt again. This time I'm triumphant; Eddie climbs off the bed, taking off his jeans, underwear, and shoes.

I bite into the pillowy part of my bottom lip as I'm met with the view of his hard, veiny cock, making him chuckle and kiss me playfully all over the face as he climbs back on top of me.

Guiding his cock up and down my pussy, he coats himself with my arousal, using it like a natural lubricant. "Ready?" he asks, and I nod, grinning excitedly.

Lining up with me, he pushes in slowly until he fully bottoms out inside me. My eyes press shut, and a whimper leaves my lips at the stinging. My nails dig into the skin of his upper arms. Eddie doesn't move anymore, giving me time to get used to the new, stretching sensation.

"Doing so good, baby," he whispers, kissing my cheek, the corner of my lips, and then me fully. I melt into his gentle touches, hands stroking up and down my sides.

"So beautiful," he grins. "And all mine." I nod. "All yours."

Eddie begins to move, making me feel so full, that I think I'm about to break in two, but instead, every thrust of his makes me feel alive.

I want more, figuring out how to meet his thrusts, moving against him. Our breathing becomes louder, moans and praises are spoken with hushed voices.

Eddie doesn't pick up the speed, my bed already threatening to give us away. Instead, he becomes harsher, administrating long and deep thrusts that make my eyes roll into the back of my head.

I moan loudly, arching my back. In an instant, his hand covers my mouth. "We need to be quiet, baby," he reminds me quietly but doesn't stop pounding into me for even a second.

I moan into his palm, holding onto his wrist, so his hand doesn't move from my mouth. "I know. I know, don't worry. I'll make sure they don't hear you," he promises with a low grunt as he rolls his hips into mine.

Our eyes lock, his gaze full of lust and admiration. Sweat makes his hair stick to his forehead. His thrust become more demanding, and I hear my own wetness every time he rocks against me.

As control seems to escape us, Eddie's deep, husky moans become louder. The secrecy of having raw sex that I was taught would get me to hell before marriage feels so filthy, yet it is heaven.

My nails dig into the flesh of his back, and his lips press kisses against my shoulder and collarbone, occasionally biting into it. Tightening around Eddie, I  am on the edge of my orgasm.

"Fuck," he moans. Our eyes meet again, his hand still over my mouth. I lift my hand as he curses again, clasping it over his mouth.

His hips stagger at this before a moan vibrates in my palm. I come right then. I fall apart into millions of pieces and am put back together a new person—a free one that doesn't care about any social status anymore.

If this is wrong, if this is sin, I want to be amiss for the rest of my life.

A deep growl is muffled in my palm as Eddie comes, both of us silencing the other's moans as we ride out our high.

As his hips still, our hands retreat. Stupid, exhausted grins on our lips; he kisses me and pulls out. I whimper at the sudden emptiness, having him chuckle and lie beside me.

Eddie pulls me into a tight embrace, and we just lay there, wrapped around each other for a few minutes, listening to nothing but our breathing.

My head rests on his chest, fingers circling his tattoos and dark pink scars. We're both sweaty, but neither of us cares. This moment is perfect.

"[y/n]?" Eddie whispers into the silence, hand locked around my waist to ensure I stay put.

"Hm?" I hum, looking up at him. "Your parents want you to stay away from me, right?" He asks, insecurity, sighing deeply as I nod. "Figured."

"Eddie..." I whisper as he sits up, grabbing his boxers. He shakes his head, pulling them up. "No, they're right. You'll find better, deserve better."

I stop the curly-headed metalhead before he can dress any further. Hand on his arm, I lean close. "Don't say that. I- It's only until we're graduating. Once I get my money, I'll move out, and we can be together... If you still want that."

He looks at me for a second, then whispers, "Your family will be furious with you." I nod. "Yeah, but they'll calm down once they see how happy I am... I hope."

I don't have much faith in it, but I refuse to live the miserable life my parents approve of. Eddie's tongue swipes over his lips while he is thinking; I can visibly see the cogs turn behind his chocolate eyes.

"So, that would make one month where I don't get to hold, kiss, or even talk to you," he says emotionless.

"Is that okay?" I ask, unsure. We are rushing; the decisions are way too extreme for the little time we spent like this.

But like I said, Vecna could return at any moment. We could die faster than we seem to be rushing. I have to go all in and live.

Eddie turns to me, the knuckles of his ringed fingers brushing offer my cheek. "Faithless is he that says farewell when the road darkens," he hums a familiar quote, proving him to be a soft nerd under all his leather and chains.

"I have been head over heels for you since I was seventeen, and until everyone thought I was a murderer, I never even dared to look at you for too long. I can handle loving you from afar for a month."

My heart skips a beat as I echo, "Loving me?"

Pressing a kiss on my lips, he chuckled, "Seriously, if you haven't picked up on that by now, you're the one who needs a tutor."

He pushes me back into the pillows, climbing on top of me. Insecure all my life, I absolutely don't mind being completely naked in front of Eddie. He makes me feel safe and like it doesn't matter what I look like.

"Shit," I cuss, remembering his test. "How are we going to study for your test?" Kissing the tip of my nose, he smiles, "We don't. I can handle my studying, [y/n]. I'm a big boy. You just keep practicing with Honey, so I can have a jam session with my girlfriend soon, okay?"

Girlfriend. I am Eddie 'The Freak' Munson's girlfriend.

My life has been full of titles until now, the cheerleader, teacher's pet, Jason Carver's cousin, golden child, tutor, babysitter... But this is the first one that I feel proud of, the first one that feels authentic.

➤ Here is Part 2: Girlfriend

[spiderking-of-queens]

Chapter Two: The Junkyard

Summary: After getting a worrying call from Billy, you take it upon yourself to follow Max and Lucas to the junkyard where you stumble upon a town secret involving your old friend/nemesis Steve. (2.6k words)

Author’s Note: This one’s kind of a Fem!Reader x Steve Harrington fic, but mostly just the reader’s introduction to The Upside Down (It does include a protective Steve, tho!). The next few chapters will mostly be about Steve since it’s the plot of season 2, but Eddie will definitely be back don’t worry! Warnings: Just swearing, creepy demogorgon stuff and a near death experience.

Masterlist

November 4th, 1984

Steve Harrington was an asshole. A Grade A, yuppie wannabe piece of shit.

Yet here he was, shielding your body with his as he clutched a baseball bat with nails sticking out of it, promising you that you weren’t going to die.

Earlier that evening, you were sketching in your room with your headphones on. Usually, drawing helped keep your mind off of things, but you were finding it hard to get away from your nagging thoughts. This was probably due to your anxiety about facing Eddie in the morning. 

You were so deep in concentration that you hadn’t noticed your mother waving her arms wildly as she tried to get your attention. You lowered your headphones so you could hear her tell you that somebody was calling you on the phone downstairs. 

“Hello?” You said into the phone after you raced downstairs and your mother handed it off to you. You were surprised that someone was calling you on a Sunday evening. Actually, you were surprised that somebody was calling you at all.  

“Yeah, this is Billy. Do you happen to know where my brat of a step-sister is?”

“Max?”

You could hear his eye roll through the phone.

“Yes. Max.”

“No, why?”

“You hang out with her, right? Do you know where she might be?”

You fought the urge to rebuke that comment. You didn’t necessarily “hang out” with her. But you couldn’t deny that you had developed a bit of a friendship, especially after your heart-to-heart with her in the McDonald’s parking lot. Okay... so maybe it was a little bit true.

“Is she in danger Billy?” 

“She’s definitely about to be. Look, do you know where she is or not?”

You didn’t like the sound of that. You did have a few ideas about where she may be, but you knew better than to tell Billy anything. 

“No, I’m sorry. I don’t. But will you let me know if you -”

He hung up before you could finish your sentence, and you stared at the phone in disgust before you slammed it back down on the receiver. Billy was the biggest dick you had ever met, and the way he always insisted on torturing Max was vile. You remembered your goal to keep him away from her. You weren’t about to quit now. 

You grabbed your jacket and called out weakly to your parents to ask if you could borrow the car, not actually wanting to get their attention. You decided to take the silence as a yes and deal with the consequences later. 

Then, as you were about to get into your car, you saw Max hanging on to Lucas Sinclair as they rode his bicycle down the street. 

You scoffed and paused for a moment as you processed this, watching them ride carelessly past you. You knew she was safe now, but had a nagging feeling that you should probably follow her anyways in case Billy did find her. Who knew what would happen if he did? Especially now that Lucas was involved. 

“Shit,” you muttered and got into your car. Following around a couple of kids on a bicycle was definitely not in your weekend plans. 

You followed them as closely as possible until they veered off the road towards the old junkyard. You muttered another expletive to yourself and parked your car on the side of the road. 

You figured it was okay now to give them some space. You would be able to see Billy approaching from the road. But as time went on and the sun started to go down, you began to feel more and more antsy. 

What the hell were they doing? You hoped to god that they weren’t making out or something. If so, then you felt like a major creep. But when you heard a strange, animalistic roar coming from the direction of the junkyard, you started to panic. Before you even knew what you were doing, you jumped out of the car and ran towards the sound. 

You called out Lucas and Max’s names, but when you made it to the junkyard, you saw Steve Harrington instead. He was wielding a baseball bat with giant nails sticking out of it.

“Y/N? What are you doing here?” He asked in confusion, lowering his bat slightly. You were kinda surprised that he remembered your name. 

“Steve Harrington?” You called in complete disbelief at what you were seeing. For some reason, it didn’t feel right only calling him by his first name. “What the fuck is going on?”

He didn’t respond. He just lurched towards you and pulled you behind him when another chittering sound came from the trees. 

“What the hell are you doing? What was that?!” You squeaked. Everything about this was completely batshit. You almost thought you were hallucinating. 

“Just don’t move!” He demanded. 

You snapped your head towards the abandoned school bus behind you when you thought you saw movement. Max and Dustin Henderson were peeking out from some wire that had been haphazardly nailed to the windows. Max had a confused and terrified look on her face as she recognized you, and you wanted to go to her immediately, but you remembered Steve’s warning not to move. You had no idea what was going on and absolutely no reason to trust him, but the way he had grabbed you to shield you made you feel like you should. You were sure he wouldn’t be protecting you unless there was a very good reason for it. 

“Steve! Watch out!” You heard a voice scream from the roof of the bus. You realized that it was Lucas. 

“Little busy here!” Steve snapped back at him.

“Three o’clock! Three o’clock!”

You turned back towards the direction Lucas had called out and almost fell to the ground from what you were faced with. 

It was a horrific looking creature that stood on four legs. Your brain tried to rationalize it, but came up short. There was nothing on planet earth that looked the way that thing did. It didn’t even have a face, just a mouth with rows and rows of teeth surrounding it. 

You stumbled backwards and Steve caught you with an arm behind his back, pressing you into him. 

“Steve, seriously, what the fuck is that?!” You pleaded as quietly as you could muster. You wanted to scream but did your very best to hold it in. “Oh my god, we’re gonna die, we’re gonna die,” You kept repeating. 

“Just stay calm, alright? We’re not going to die. I got you.”

Even though he sounded just as terrified as you when he said this, there was something about his arm holding you steady that made you believe it. Your fists were gripping the back of his jacket with desperation, your breath becoming shallower by the minute. Then three more of the creatures appeared from the shadows and you were sure that it would only be a matter of time before you passed out. 

“Steve! Abort! Abort!” Dustin called, now at the door of the bus.

Steve turned his head slightly towards you and whispered, “Run.”

You froze, terrified, and he repeated it again louder to snap you out of your horror. After the second time, you obeyed him, stumbling on your feet as you bolted towards the bus. You could hear the sounds of a fight as you ran, but didn’t dare turn and watch. If Steve was about to die, you really didn’t want to bear witness. 

You made it to the bus and fell to the floor as the kids gestured wildly for Steve to join you. By some miracle, he made it and fell down beside you. Then without hesitation he slammed the door shut and pressed a large sheet of metal against it with his feet to try to keep the creatures out.

“They can’t get in! They can’t!” Lucas shouted, but it sounded more like a desperate question than a pronouncement. 

As if to answer him, one of the monsters ripped through the metal and the kids were pulling you with them towards the back of the bus. 

Steve was hitting it wildly with his bat as you watched in terror. Dustin tried to get a hold of somebody on his walkie talkie for help, and then a pair of claws suddenly pierced through the wall behind you. You screamed and fell backwards as Dustin shouted into the walkie that you were all gonna die. You believed it wholeheartedly now.

An eerie silence suddenly fell over everyone as the roof of the bus began to give way from the steps of one of the beasts. You all gazed up at the open emergency exit as it slowly came into view. It was the closest look you had gotten of it yet, and if you weren’t sure it was something straight out of a nightmare before, you were certain now. 

Max was closest to it and began to scream. You pulled her away from it by her jacket and wrapped your arms around her shoulders in a last-ditch effort to protect her. 

Steve rushed forward and yelled for all of you to get out of the way, then wielded his bat at the monster as its head split open to show all of its teeth. He dared it to come and get some, and just when you were certain you were about to watch him get eaten alive, the creature seemed to be distracted by something off in the distance and retreated.  

Everyone was silent as you all waited and listened. You let go of Max and slumped down to the floor as Steve and the kids left the bus to make sure the coast was actually clear. You stared into space as they spoke to each other, still trying to process what had happened.

A few hours ago, you were in your bedroom drawing alone. Now you were in a rusted out school bus with a bunch of kids and Steve Harrington after almost being eaten alive by monsters from hell. 

You flinched when you felt a hand rest gently on your shoulder. 

“Sorry…” Steve said with a grimace as he quickly pulled his hand away. “Are you okay?”

You looked up at him, then saw the kids standing behind him. They seemed to be handling the near death experience remarkably well. Certainly much better than you, anyways. You were slightly embarrassed by this, and also worried that your fear might rub off on them. 

Steve turned and looked at them too, then asked them if they could give the two of you a minute alone. They obeyed and went to the front of the bus to sit by the door. 

“Hey, listen. I know this shit is crazy. Believe me. I was put in this exact position last year. You’re not alone, okay? We’re all freaked out. But we have to go now.”

You nodded but still didn’t move. 

“How did you get here?” He asked. 

“I… drove,” You responded shakily.

“Okay. Do you think you’ll be good to drive home? We can walk you to your car.”

You stared at him. There was no way you wanted to be alone tonight. The idea of sitting in your room and trying to sleep after what you had just witnessed made you sick to your stomach. Besides, you came here for Max, and there was no way you were going to abandon her now. 

“I’m not leaving,” You said. 

“Y/N… don’t try to be a hero, alright? We’ve got a long night ahead of us and you don’t know what’s going on. You stumbled into this. Nobody would blame you for walking away right now.”

“I’m not leaving,” You repeated defiantly. “I came here to look out for Max, and I’m certainly not going to leave her and the rest of these kids alone with you now that I know there are freaky faceless monsters running around trying to eat everybody. Okay? End of discussion.”

He seemed impressed by your determination, but the truth was that you really didn’t have any other option but to join whatever quest they were about to go on. There was no way you would be able to move on from this unless you faced it head on. You needed answers.

He stood up and extended a hand, and you reluctantly took it and let him help you off the floor of the bus. 

“Alright,” He said with a sigh. “Let’s go, then. We’ll do our best to explain on the way.”

“So, you stalked me?” Max asked with a laugh after you explained what you were doing at the junkyard. You were all following the railroad tracks out of the woods.  

“Maybe just a little. I wasn’t planning on actually intervening unless Billy showed up. But then I heard those… things. Demogorgons. Demodogs? Whatever.”

Everyone had done their best to explain the situation to you, but you were having trouble fully wrapping your mind around it. All you really understood was that those monsters were what the government scientists at the lab were trying to cover up, and they had something to do with Will’s disappearance. Apparently Lucas had filled Max in earlier that day, but she hadn’t actually believed him until after what she had just witnessed. You were sort of glad that you weren’t the only one who was new to all of this. 

Dustin, Steve and Lucas were arguing about something as you were talking to Max, and you tuned back in to listen to them. Apparently, Dustin had found a tiny little critter in his trash cans and called him Dart, and it turned out that Dart had actually been a baby version of a demogorgon. It also turned out that Dustin finally realized this when he found Dart munching on his cat, Mews. Your face twisted in horror when Steve forced him to admit this, and Lucas seemed angry that Dustin tried to hide it. They started yelling at each other as you, Steve, and Max watched on helplessly. 

“Guys, who cares? We have to go!” Max tried to interrupt, but it didn’t work. 

“I care! You put the party in jeopardy! You broke the rule of law!” Lucas screamed.

“So did you! You told a stranger the truth!” Dustin defended himself, shining his flashlight straight into Max’s eyes to indicate that she was she stranger he was talking about. 

“A stranger?” Max scoffed, clearly offended by this. 

“You wanted to tell her, too!” Lucas continued, ignoring her. 

“But I didn’t, Lucas, okay? I didn’t tell her!”

Steve gave you a look that said, ‘Do you see what I have to deal with?’ As they continued to scream at each other. You smiled back at him apologetically and almost said something, but you were interrupted by loud screeching in the distance. 

You watched Steve with wide eyes as he walked off towards the trees, his flashlight guiding his investigation. 

“Hey guys?” He called, trying to get the boys to stop arguing and focus on the task at hand. When they didn’t stop, he turned around and yelled it louder. 

They all jumped and went quiet, then immediately tuned into the sounds of the demogorgons. Dustin and Lucas followed Steve further into the trees as you and Max watched.

“No, no, no. Hey, guys, why are you headed towards the sound? Hello?!” Max called after them, then muttered an expletive and turned to look at you with an exasperated expression.

You shrugged back at her and gave a sympathetic smile.

“Well, do we follow them into Mordor or bail now? It’s your call, Mad Max. I’ll follow your lead.”

After giving this some thought, she let out an exaggerated sigh and silently decided to go after the boys. As promised, you followed closely behind her. 

You had no idea what the rest of the night would entail, but from there on out, you knew that there would be no turning back.  

[daddyy333]

Family Pt.2 | Eddie Munson x y/n

if you’d like you can reblog my original work, but please don’t post it without credit. if you take inspiration from my ideas please tag me, I’d like to see how someone else would write it

TW: CAR CRASH, PREGNANCY, NEAR DEATH EXPERIENCE, PASSING OUT, BED REST (plz let me know if I missed any)

Word count: 5.5k

summary: Eddie and the group take care of you as you come out of your abusive relationship and then find out you have a baby on the way

12.7k words and counting😭 part 3 will be the the birth and mostly them adjusting to life with the little one and then pt 4 is a super top secret surprise

baby name suggestions? I kinda forgot about that part

Part 1

Part 3

Part 4

You heard me, you were on your way to work, on the busiest street you had to drive on when going to work of course. Your head was pounding, and you were exhausted, and you could feel your heartbeat slowing down and you just needed to make it to work and maybe your boss would be okay with you needing to take a breather before coming into work.

But that didn’t happen, you passed out and lost control of the car and slid across the boulevard. You woke up a few minutes after the accident, paramedics were trying to get you out of the car, they had just gotten your smashed in door open.

You whimpered and said “w-what happened?” “We believe you passed out and lost control of your car, which caused someone to slam right into your side of the car and injure you” he said and you gasped, feeling a sharp pain in your stomach.

There was glass stuck all over you but there was a particularly large piece in your stomach, making it hard to breathe or move. “Oh god- ow! My baby- mmh…m-my baby” you groaned and they then scooped you up out of the car, and onto a stretcher. You let out a small cry, all the pain was catching up to you.

You were taken to the hospital, you ended up having to go into surgery cause you were bleeding pretty bad internally and your ankle needed to be looked at without you yelling in pain. You woke up in a hospital room, everything quickly came back to you and you wished Eddie was there to make things a little better.

“Eddie…Eddie?” You said worriedly, your eyes fluttering open. Everyone was waiting, stressed out of their minds. He stood up and quickly grabbed your hand in his, quietly whispering that he was there for you.

You flinched slighty, and he instantly let go. “I-I’m sorry…” you whimpered and he sighed softly. He sniffled, and then- wait a minute…he sniffled? You made Eddie ‘dude’s just don’t cry’ Munson cry?.

“You have nothing to be sorry about, okay? Just relax. You didn’t do anything wrong, no one’s mad at you” he said and you let out a shaky breath. You looked around at everyone and just wanted to cry.

“I-I didn’t mean to do it, I-I swear. I just- I thought if I made it to work I’d be okay I-” you said and he shushed you gently, slowly reaching up and stroking your hair to calm you down.

You whimpered and he said “it’s okay. I know you didn’t mean it. I just want you to rest, that’s all. Don’t worry about the crash, don’t worry about anything else but getting better, okay?” “Is the baby okay?” You asked, more tears flowing at the thought that something might have happened to her.

You sniffled and he said “the baby is okay, she’s doing just fine. Doctor said that physically she’s healthy, she’s okay, she was even kicking during the ultrasound but uhm…they also said you are going to be put on bed rest most likely for the rest of your pregnancy” The rest of them were shocked he remembered everything the doctor said, most of them were still processing that you were okay.

“What- what- why? No, I-I have to work” you said and you tried to sit up, but the pain as well as Eddie’s worrying stopped you. He gently eased you into laying back down and he said “Y/n…y/n, gotta relax. Your body needs time to recover from the trauma of the car crash and the pregnancy is really weakening you and you need rest, your body needs to rest. You’ve gotta relax and give your body a rest so that both of you are healthy. If you don’t, it could cause complications when you give birth”

“H-How am I gonna make money a-a-and take care of her. I’ll be in debt for the rest of my life between these hospital bills and the ones from having her. I need to w-work” she said and he took a deep breath.

“You’ll be okay. We’ll all help, I promise. And we’ll talk to your boss about maternity leave and unless he wants to end up dead he’ll give you as much paid maternity leave as you need” he said and you whimpered. You pressed a hand to your stomach, also covering your mouth to try and suppress the sobs that wanted to get through.

“Oh, y/n…” he said and you sighed shakily. The doctor came in and pretty much re-explained everything Eddie already told you, and told you about how to take care of your wounds and stuff. You fractured your ankle really badly so you had to wear a boot around it, and would have to wear it and keep most of your weight on your right foot for pretty much the remainder of your pregnancy. The huge slice in your stomach didn’t get to the baby but didn’t need to be kept clean and bandaged up. You also had a few broken ribs, which the baby might kick eventually but it won’t mess with the healing.

You were able to lay on your side and you were talking to everyone else now. You’d gotten super close with Robin, and she was currently sitting with you as the rest finally got some sleep or were sitting with you too, but letting Robin have some time with you. The only reason Eddie wasn’t there was because you told him to go find himself some food and smoke a cigarette and calm down.

“I just…god, this wasn’t supposed to happen! I can’t s-support a baby with this kind of hospital debt, the fucking monthly payment will probably be 3 of my paychecks. I can’t- I-I can’t do this-” you cried and Steve stepped in. He sat on the edge of the bed and said “y/n…hey. We’re gonna help, okay? Even if you don’t want us to, even if you try to refuse, we will help. You’re family y/n…family takes care of each other. And we all have the means too, we will all pitch in what we can, always”

“My life w-was not supposed to pan out like this…holy shit,” you said and sniffled. Robin gently wiped your tears away and you whimpered. “And that’s okay, y/n/n. But on the bright side, this little girl will be here soon, and she will have the best uncles and aunts she could possibly ask for. Like Steve said, we’re one big giant crazy family and you’re stuck with us till the end of time. We won’t let you suffer, not if we can help it” Robin said and you nodded, sighing softly.

Eddie came back and said “hey, you. How are you feeling?” “Shitty…” you said and he took a deep breath. He handed you the pamphlet with today’s meals on it and said “you should get some food in you…do you want the hospital lunch or do you want me to grab you some other food?”

“No, no it’s fine” you said and Dustin handed you a 3 musketeers bar anyways. You chuckled and said “thanks…ow- ooh, the baby says thank you” Dustin chuckled and Eddie placed a gentle hand on your bump to keep her from kicking the stitches. You took a deep breath and said “I’m…I’m fine, Ed’s. It’s- I-I’ll be fine”

About a week went by, you were sent home the next day and you ended up going to Steve’s. At this point, everyone kinda lived at Steve’s house. His hoity toity parents gave him a house as long as he promised to stop embarrassing them and he was fine with a free house and not having to see his parents for basically the rest of his life.

God you wished you were Steve sometimes. Eddie especially wanted you to be there more so you were in a safer area and a comfier bed since you were on bed rest. Robin did live with Steve for the time being, they’re always together anyways. Somebody was almost always crashing and spending the night, so you had a lot of support throughout the hell that is bed rest.

It sounds awesome initially, but you absolutely couldn’t get up unless you had to use the bathroom or for your 5 minute shower (which Steve did time per Eddie’s request). It was really boring, because obviously Steve and Robin had to work but at least you had a T.V, and all your books, as well as the daily newspapers.

It was hard to walk around in the boot, you needed crutches which you barely got the hang of, and it was still slightly painful and putting all the weight on one foot killed you. Plus, you were walking funny so your hips were ready to snap in half and your back hurt from laying down all the time.

Eddie wreaked havoc on your poor boss, making sure you got paid maternity leave, promising to play at that restaurant once a week since corroded coffin had a pretty decent fan base and it would bring the money in for you to get that paid maternity leave. You thanked him every single day, without him you’d probably be homeless or worse, dead.

Eddie came by the house every single day, except for the third day but he did call and apologize for 10 of the 30 minutes you two spoke. He had finally passed senior year, so now he was working for you and your baby. Tonight he was sleeping over, you insisted he sleep in the bed and that it was okay and you trusted him, but he refused.

He knew it was lonely being on bed rest all the time with really nothing to do, and no one to hang out with. Since tomorrow was his day off, he came to Steve’s after hellfire and showered and was now spending the night with you.

“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep in the bed? I promise, I’m okay with it” you said and let out a quiet wince at a rough kick. You almost never complained about the kicks now, now that you’ve almost lost her. You would put up with it for the rest of your life just to know she was okay.

“Y/n/n…I’m good. It’s one night, okay? Maybe in a few months, once you’ve had the baby and you’re feeling better but right now, you need to the comfortability more than I do” he said and you sighed. You threw another pillow at him and he chuckled, thanking you.

The next day was your birthday, which you weren’t gonna tell anyone but Eddie obviously told everyone because you deserved a special day all about you. The next morning when you got your few steps in heading downstairs for breakfast, they surprised you (quietly of course) with waffles that had 23 candles in it.

You smiled and thanked them all, everyone had taken the day off to be with you. “You guys are the best,” you said and giggled, rubbing your bump as you finished your last bite of breakfast. They all chuckled and of course, brought out presents.

Will bought you a pregnancy pillow, well technically Joyce recommended it so it was a Byers family gift. (I have no idea when those things were invented fuck it) Mike and El bought you some more books since you were alwayssss reading. Steve bought the baby some clothes and you some more clothes cause you're always complaining about having no clothes. They were mostly just extra large regular clothes since he didn’t know how to figure out the maternity sizes, but the gesture was cute. Eddie made the baby a mixtape of some of the softest and slowest metal songs he knew for you to play for the baby. Robin bought some blankets and pacifiers with music notes and instruments on them. Nancy and Jonathan bought you a stroller, which you greatly appreciated. Lucas and Max gave you some chocolates and snacks, since Lucas insisted that you’d love it and devour it in a second.

Robin even massaged your foot for you, since you were the birthday girl they were gonna treat you like royalty. Your other one still hurt too much, having the boot on as much as possible made it feel better. Everyone hung out with you of course, talking to the baby and feeling her kick and wiggle around.

“I bet her little bratty ass is loving all the attention” you said and chuckled, seeing her little foot move as your stomach bulged out where it was. She kicked your ribs and you yelled slightly, getting everyone’s full attention. You winced and groaned softly, placing a hand on your upper bump.

“What’s wrong, hey talk to me,” Eddie said and you sighed softly. You took a deep breath and said “I-I’m fine. She just kicked at my ribs really hard” “how the hell are they supposed to heal if she’s constantly kicking them?” He said and you shrugged.

He stuck to your side after that, rubbing your bump and trying to make sure the baby didn’t cause any more pain in your ribs. “Ooh…the attitude on you,” he said, stopping in the middle of a sentence as he felt a strong kick. You giggled and played with his rings, trying them on your small fingers and balancing them all on your bump.

“Wait a minute…you can balance things on it?” Dustin said and you chuckled, nodding. You grabbed a cup and placed it on your bump, making jazz hands as Dustin chuckled. “You’ve never seen me do something like this before?” You asked and he shook his head.

He ran to his bag and grabbed a D&D mini figure, placing it on your bump. He laughed and Eddie chuckled softly, you were holding back so hard from laughing. Steve shook his head and muttered “dork”

They eventually all moved up to your room since the couch wasn't as comfy for you and was making your back hurt. Steve, thank god you had him, massaged your back for you and relieved all the built up tension and stress in your lower back for a moment.

You curled up with your pregnancy pillow, which was super comfy and you were definitely calling Joyce later to thank her, and you could feel yourself getting more and more tired. You didn’t sleep a ton last night, you just couldn’t fall asleep and then you had to get up to pee and then the baby started moving cause you started moving and it was just a mess.

“Guys, shh” Eddie said, still stroking your hair softly like he had been before you fell asleep. Dustin rolled her eyes and said “dude she has got you wrapped around your finger” “no she doesn’t. She’s sleeping for two, she needs the rest” he said and you mumbled softly, readjusting a little. He shushed you softly, making sure you didn’t wake up.

Everyone shook their heads and rolled their eyes. “You are totally crushing on her!” Nancy whisper shouted and he scoffed. Mike chuckled and said “it’s kinda obvious dude” “obvious how?” He said and Dustin snickered.

Steve did the iconic hands on the hips and said “first of all, prime example right here. You’re always with her, if you aren’t working, or with Hellfire you’re almost guaranteed to be with her. You're touching and hugging and holding her as much as she’ll let you, and you’re constantly getting all blushed and shit like a 15 year old girl. I’m telling you dude you have got the fatest crush on y/n”

“I’m just…a good friend. None of that means I like her, I'm just trying to support her” he said and you whimpered, moving a little. You mumbled his name and he shushed you quietly, kissing your head and telling you he was here.

Everyone rolled their eyes as you tried to move closer to him if that was possible. “If we’re gonna have to watch them pretend not to like each other for the rest of time I’m gonna throw a temper tantrum” Mike said.

The rest of your birthday was filled with a plethora of massages and greasy foods and crappy movies and a ton of smiles and laughs. It was nice to spend a whole day with everyone and to trick them into really taking care of you all day and giving you all those massages and getting you unhealthy foods.

“Jesus, I am stuffed,” you groaned, crawling back into bed after coming back upstairs from dinner. Eddie smiled and said “good, that’s how you should feel every night” “yea yea yea. I think I’m good on food for the next week” you said and he chuckled.

“I’m gonna go sleep in the guest bedroom, I’ll see you in the morning” he said and you groaned. You sat up (on your second try) and said “Ed’s, come on. Just stay in here with me for one night. I promise you can sleep in the bed, I’ll be okay. You always have to sleep on the uncomfortable pullout in the guest room or on the floor and it’s not fair to you”

“Fine, but only if we get to watch Back to the Future until we fall asleep” he said and you rolled your eyes. He curled up on the other side, rubbing your bump softly because he knew your bratty little girl especially kicked at night and would only stop if he was touching your bump.

The doctor did mention that you’d probably bust your ass a few times because of the boot, which you knew was going to happen anyways. However, the one and only time it happened everyone lost their shit. You got up to pee in the middle of the night and Steve had left your crutches in the corner of the room but you figured you could hop there and back no problem.

You made it over and did your business but on your way back your knee buckled and you fell, hard enough it sent a shock of pain through your spine. “Oww! Ohh, shit!” You groaned and placed a hand on your lower back, a whimper escaping your lips. Steve almost immediately came out of his room, panicking when he saw you on the ground with your face twisted up with pain.

“What the hell? What happened?” He asked and you groaned. You took a deep breath and said “I…ow, god I had to use the bathroom and you left my crutches in a corner and I thought I could make it” “why didn’t you call for me?” He asked and scooped you up, carrying you back to your room.

“You’re always doing everything for me, I just wanted to try and do something myself for once” you said and he set you back in bed. He sighed and said “are you in any pain?” “Just my back. I'm sure it’ll feel better in a little bit considering I'm not allowed to do anything but rest” you said and he shook his head.

Robin ran in and said “what happened? Are you okay?” “She tried to go to the bathroom by herself without crutches and fell!” Steve said and you sighed softly. You rubbed your bump to ease your restless daughters movements and Robin said “oh my- y/n you know you can’t do anything without your crutches, especially alone” “Yea, yea, yea, you two relax, I’m fine. I’m just gonna go back to sleep and I’ll be fine in the morning, alright?” You said and they both rolled their eyes.

Eddie busted in your room the next morning, chest heaving with panic. “You fell?!” He asked and you groaned. You sat up and said “I’m fine, I just had to use the bathroom and I lost my balance on the way back, okay? Stop worrying about me for 5 seconds, please” “something serious could’ve-” he said but you stopped him.

“Well it didn’t, okay? I’m fine, the baby is fine, she’s wiggling around in there just to prove it. We’re good, Eddie. I won’t do it again” you said and he sighed, cupping the sides of your bump. He kissed it and said “I swear I’m trying to keep you alive but your mother is just so god damn reckless-” You smacked him in the head and he chuckled.

The doctor said you would most likely give birth before your due date, and you’d hopefully have an easier labor and delivery because the baby was small. Boy, was she wrong. You were technically off bed rest at 38 weeks, but at that point all you wanted to do was be in bed, so you were mostly resting and relaxing.

Once the boot came off you moved in with Eddie again and you guys got your own trailer. It was a sturdier one that would hopefully not let out so much noise and not wake up the neighbors. Wayne was actually really supportive during those last few weeks, constantly reading the books in his spare time and telling you little facts and things he read.

The last few weeks were rough, you were having a lot of Braxton hicks, which were scaring the crap out of Eddie. These were just these slightly uncomfortable, pain in the ass false contractions that were supposed to prepare your body for the real thing but they were just annoying and every time you had one Eddie shit his pants cause he thought you were going into labor. You’d been having them for months but they got more intense since you were 9 months now.

The pain in your back and your hips and your feet was just unbearable. It was worse for you since you were a lot smaller than you should be, and the baby’s positions and movements weren’t helping either. Thankfully though, she was moving a lot less because you were running out of womb for her to fit in and it was harder for her to kick and move.

You felt humongous, but you totally weren’t. You barely looked like you were in your 9th month, it was honestly kinda freaky. Eddie was still trying to wrap his head around the fact that you had a full grown baby just chilling in there. It was kinda cute to see your bump poking through all the shirts you stole from him, since his fit better.

You still saw the gang very often, all of them waiting really patiently for the baby to get here. You wanted her out just as much as they did, everything was painful and you were feeling slightly nauseous lately and there was so much pressure in your hips and pelvic area that you couldn’t relieve no matter what and it was killing you.

Your due date came and everyone came to the trailer, Steve and Robin promising to stay with you if the hospital would let them. Everyone else either definitely couldn’t miss work or their parents wouldn’t let them and they wouldn’t have cared enough to stay either way. You were exhausted, from nothing quite frankly. Just being this pregnant was killing you.

“Hey, mama bear. How are you feeling okay?” Robin said and you shrugged. You caressed your bump softly and said “I don’t know just…achy. Jeez, is everyone here? You do know there’s a slim chance she’ll actually be here today, right?” “Yea, yea, yea whatever. Besides, someone’s gotta clean up the trailer really well and make sure you two actually baby proofed it” She said and you chuckled.

You winced, god your ribs were so sore from her kicking. Eddie made you some toast, since you hated breakfast but should eat something cause you are eating for two and it is oh so important you eat at least 3 times a day. “I hate you” you said, taking a bite of your toast. He chuckled and kissed your head, then your bump.

“I better see your little face by tonight, or you’re in big trouble, bug,” he said and you chuckled. Eddie had a few nicknames for the little one, you had to admit it was really cute. She kicked his hand and you both gasped. “She’s not even here yet and she’s already giving attitude” you said and you both chuckled.

Naturally, your stubborn, bratty little girl showed no sign of arriving any time soon, so obviously she didn’t come on your due date. You knew she wasn’t going to, she was still super high up and if she was going to be here soon she would have dropped and been super low, which meant you’d be experiencing double the pain in your hips.

3 days passed and you figured “okay, maybe she just needed a few extra days, I’ll probably be going into labor tomorrow”. Day 5 came, no sign of her arrival being close at all. 1 week passed after your due date and you couldn’t take it anymore. Your entire body hurt, you were really struggling to even walk or stand.

Eddie had taken “paternity leave” even though he technically wasn’t her dad, you really needed someone to take care of you at the moment and he would give up everything for you right now. You hadn’t been eating a lot, the pain made it hard to even think much less want to eat and that was really scaring him. You had just gotten up to use the bathroom and you tried to get back into your bedroom but you couldn’t, pain erupting in your hips and back.

It was so bad it brought you to tears, and you were honestly terrified to move in fear of causing more pain but it was gonna kill you to keep standing here. Eddie opened his bedroom door and you whimpered, willing yourself to take a step so he could go back to bed. “Hey, hey, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?” He said and placed a warm hand on your back, massaging it gently with his knuckles.

You groaned and said “i-it…mmh- hurts…c-can’t move” “what hurts?” He asked and you whimpered again. You yelled out when he got to a particularly sore spot and he said “I’m sorry, I’m sorry y/n. Is it your back?” You nodded and let out a shaky breath.

He gently wrapped an arm around your waist, helping you to your room. You sniffled and bit your lip, trying not to yell as you sat down on your bed. Your pained whimpers and groans broke his heart, he slowly started massaging your back again, careful not to hurt you any more.

“Ohhh! I’m s-sorry” you said and he shushed you softly, kissing your head. You leaned your head on his shoulder as he said “it’s okay, it’s okay. You don’t need to be sorry, I know you’re in a lot of pain and I know that you’re struggling, you have no need to be sorry, okay? You don’t ever have to apologize for something like this,”

“I just…fuck- I-I just want to h-have this kid and be don-done with the pain! She was s-supposed to come early f-for fucks sa-sake! I’m a week overdue, h-how the- oww!” You groaned and he took a deep breath.

“Are you sure this isn’t the start of labor? That pamphlet the doctor gave us said you might feel it in your back first” he said and you let out a shaky breath. You sniffled and said “i-it can’t be. Contractions come a-and go, this pain is…mmh- it’s c-constant”

“Okay, okay, just relax” he said and continued rubbing and massaging your back. It took a while but the pain subsided and you laid down, Eddie kindly continued massaging your lower back to help you fall back asleep.

“I’m sorry about the little breakdown” you said, still sniffling every now and then. He chuckled and said “it’s okay…I’m sure this is fucking with your head in all kinds of way in addition to all the shit that’s already going on” “and of course it’s all happening to me” you said and laughed a little.

Eddie sighed and said “it’s going to be okay, you know that right? One day, all of this will hopefully be a much more faint memory in your head and you’ll be remembering a moment like this as you drop her off at her first day of highschool, or some shit like that” “yea, yea, I know. Ohh god, I can’t wait to complain about how much pain she caused me when she wants to be a little brat about something stupid” you said and you both chuckled.

You woke up late the next morning, the Hellfire club playing a game in the living room. Eddie immediately snapped out of character when he realized you were in the room and grabbed your plate of breakfast, asking you how you were feeling now and completely putting the game on pause for you.

The boys had heard about how much you were struggling and how it was getting worse and didn’t dare to complain about it. They didn’t realize that carrying a baby was so painful, they were all wondering how you were gonna handle the whole tearing in half thing.

“Hey, listen here kid we’ve been waiting like a long ass time, this is your official eviction notice you’ve got 24 hours or…or I’m gonna force you to play D&D every single day till you’re out of your mothers house” Dustin said and you chuckled.

Naturally, she didn’t show up the next day either. Or the day after that. You went 11 days past your due date, and you were an absolute wreck. You couldn’t stop crying, from your whole body being in pain, being overly emotional, your boobs so swollen that any kind of movement was killing you, the fact that you couldn’t breathe with the baby stuck in your ribs 24/7, the fear that you would have to have a c-section even though you’re terrified of surgery.

You were also exhausted, you didn’t get a lot of sleep because you’d been having contractions all night. You didn’t tell Eddie because they were like 20 minutes apart and they were so faint and gentle it took about an hour and a half to even believe you were starting to go into labor. But they’d gotten closer, like 7 minutes apart closer. It wasn’t abnormal for them to be closer, they started at 10pm yesterday and it was 6pm the next day.

Steve and Robin were here today, trying to help you feel better. “Y/n you have to stop crying, you’re gonna make yourself sick, come on,” Steve said and wiped your tears away. You sniffled and said “I’m f-fine” Yeah, everything sucked but the main reason you were crying was because the contractions were getting more painful and everything felt like it was happening too fast all of a sudden.

“Listen, we’re all gonna go get food, we should be back in about an hour. Are you gonna be okay until then, or do you want one of us to stay with you?” He asked and you took a deep breath. You nodded and said “I’ll be f-fine. I’ll probably t-take a nap” “okay, okay that’s good. You need the sleep, Eddie said you were up most of the night but you need to get all the rest you can right now” he said.

They all left and you sighed, rubbing your bump softly. You sniffled and said “alright, kid. I know I’ve been begging you to come out for the last two weeks, but you’ve got to hold off for another hour, okay?” You ran your hands through your hair and gasped, feeling another contraction wreak havoc on your stomach.

Uh-oh. That one was 6 minutes apart from the last one. That wasn’t supposed to happen. “Shit- ahh! No, no, no- damn it!” You groaned, you absolutely could not go into active labor right now. You sure as hell couldn’t drive through the pain, you’d crash (again). Not to mention, how the hell were you gonna tell Eddie. He promised you he’d be there for whatever the hospital allowed him to be in the room for.

Once that contraction passed, you just tried to take some deep breaths and calm down, realizing that maybe you could ride out this last hour and then they’d come back and you’d finally get to meet your baby girl. But…of course that wasn’t the case.

With a lot of breathing and staying calm and really managing the stress of everything you were able to keep the tears from coming for a while, at least until you stood up to relieve an odd pressure in your hips and your water broke.

Eventually I’ll be writing for

Eddie Munson

Joseph Quinn

Jamie Bower

Steve Harrington

Robin Buckley

So just dm me the taglist you want to be added to and I’ll add you :)

Taglist: @and-claudia @local-bxbby @this-is-mycrisis @silky-luxe @youcantseem3 @natashaashleymarvelromanoff @kellysimagines @readsalot73

[sunflowerharrington]

Stitches Volume I

part 002: The Girl With The Number Tattoo

fandom - Stranger Things (2016-)

pairing(s) - Steve Harrington X Fem!Reader, Eddie Munson X Fem!Reader

taglist - @vingtetunmars @dallysnecklace @will-byers-is-my-boyfriend @taecube @quickiesgirl comment on this post or the masterlist to be added or taken off, or you can message me about it <3

warnings - Telekinesis, cardiopulmonary resuscitation (CPR), inhabitants of the upside down, suggestive themes, a section of season 4 episode 1 retold, trailer-gate, near death experience, the ‘vision’ is in italics.

word count - 3.2k

author’s notes - Thank you to everyone for the compliments on chapter one! You guys, I was in literal tears ❤️ Also, not me forgetting to post this on time 😭

“It’s Billy,” he sighed, watching as you paced back and forth on your tip-toes on the ground beneath you, avoiding the black vines and tendrils the best you could. “Billy Hargrove.”

“Billy… Like… Silly? Silly Billy!” Your face lit up, a smile reaching your bright eyes as the spores in the toxic air danced around you like snow in a pretty little snow globe.

Except… this was no snow globe. Though you would much rather be stuck inside a sealed glass cage full of water and styrofoam for the rest of your life than this place. You caught Billy rolling his eyes.

“Yes, silly Billy,” he grumbled, jumping down to meet your level without a second thought.

Though it was the middle of summer, cold seeped through what was left of the gown covering your body, hanging from your shoulders, the riotous sound of alarm bells ringing in your head as Billy stood next to you. Were the bells calling out to you? Telling you which path to take, which direction to go in? Whether to stay put or run for your life, far away from this bat-swarmed trailer? You had no idea.

You looked up into the red skies, clouded with clusters of wispy black clouds, which began to float by as if a gust of wind had picked them up. But as you and Billy had learned, there is no wind here and barely any air, most of it toxic; so you had to think of a game plan fast.

But you had an idea up your tattered, ripped up sleeve.

The bats circled around the trailer in the red sky, and Billy watched in a mix of shock and awe as they began to slowly descend to the ground, more graceful than ever before. Like petals from a cherry blossom tree floating down, they each landed around you on their feet, their pointy tails wagging back and forth.

“I don’t feel the need to choose violence this time,” you stated plainly, as Billy turned to you, mouth hung open, eyes wide.

“You can do that? You did this?” He asked, barely able to form any coherent words, but you could still make out what he was trying to say. “Holy shit.”

“I don’t know how I did that.”

Your eyes travelled over the front of the trailer, the white exterior covered in the dark tendrils and moving vines, and the slimy residue from both. As you drew your hand back down to your side, the bats began crawling towards you, surrounding the both of you, closing in quite quickly.

“Maybe we should take cover?” Billy proposed, gesturing to the trailer before you, who’s door has been slightly cracked open. “I’m still trying to wrap my mind around what just happened. Are you controlling those bats?”

“As if being in an alternate dimension isn’t scary enough?” You chuckled, pulling the door open. “And yes, I think so.”

“The way the Mind Flayer controlled me…” He trailed off, shaking his head. You weren’t like the Mind Flayer, and Billy needed to engrave that into his mind the way his full name was being engraved onto a headstone at that very moment.

As you headed inside, something above you caught your eye; a big red slash on the roof with black tendrils surrounding it that wasn’t there when you had fallen onto the roof of the trailer and almost shattered all of your bones into minuscule fragments. You tilted your head to get a better look at it, and as you did you noticed something. The slash looked like it was breathing.

“Was that here the whole time—?”

“I don’t know,” you cut Billy off gently, voice thin, filled with immense dread and fear of your unknown futures.

A smile found its way to the corners of your mouth anyhow, as you and Billy trudged deeper into the trailer, settling on the single bed with a broken headboard in the back room. Your cheeks flushed a brilliant scarlet upon the sight of the headboard, crossing your arms over your chest to give yourself a distraction, and you couldn’t help letting your eyes linger over the pair of metal handcuffs dangling from the wall.

“Maybe a police officer lives here,” you mused, running your fingertips along the cold, metal chains, a stark contrast to the heat of Billy’s skin when you reached out to touch his cheek.

This rhetorical question is what caught Billy’s gaze, his focus travelling up your fingers to the metal clanging against the wall, averting his stare which had been set on a red guitar hanging from the same wall, in front of a small, cracked mirror.

A few moments of comfortable silence passed before he playfully rolled his eyes, shifting his weight on his feet as he walked over to where you were standing, catching the metal in his fingertips, holding your gaze. “I’m not sure a police officer lives here, (Y/N),” he chuckled, a smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth as the laughter bubbled in his chest.

As soon as the short, sweet laugh escaped his plump lips, you were met with the sound of another blood curdling scream coming from outside the walls, and then two voices. One male, one female, both sounded quite young. Young adults, perhaps.

You jumped upon hearing the voices, entering your ears and into your mind, registering these new sounds in your memories. Your breathing stilled for a second too long, but the sensation of a soft hand rubbing the small of your back set your heart racing again. Billy’s brows furrowed as he looked at you, your eyelids closing and opening slowly, your breathing laboured. He lifted one of your arms around his shoulders and helped you sit back down on the bed.

“Thank you,” you whispered, subconsciously holding onto his upper arm as you both listened intently to the voices around you.

“Sorry for the mess. The maid uh… Took a week off.”

“You’re sure you’re actually going to do your homework?”

“You wound me, Chrissy,” the male voice chuckled. “I do my homework every night!”

That was exactly what somebody who didn’t do their homework every night would say. Your ears perked up as Billy’s gravelly voice filled the room, the only sound familiar to you. His eyelids had fluttered shut, leaving his long, perfectly curly lashes to fall in line with his hair that had also fallen over his face. “I remember those voices.”

You furrowed your brows in question as he continued. “Chrissy… Cunningham? Hm, yeah, that’s her name. And the local dealer I forget the name of, but I know his voice. I remember it,” he said, tapping the side of his head. “See? I still have some memories kept safe.”

Before you could stop yourself to listen to the voices up above, curiosity killed the cat, and you asked in a whisper; “Who is Chrissy Cunningham?” But before Billy could answer, you snapped your hand up to stop him, his words shoving themselves back down his throat never to be spoken. “Not now. We need to listen.”

Billy sat back down on the bed next to you without another word, lapsing into silence as you looked around the room, trying to pinpoint where exactly in the trailer they were hiding, or they could be outside. A moment later his eyes widened, his breath stuttering, leaving his stomach to churn and feeling as if an icy grip had wrapped tightly around his heart.

“Word got around that Chrissy would be leaving Hawkins for a year without her boyfriend, Jason. She left only eight months ago, and she’s back now. Does this mean time moves faster here? How long have we been here? Oh my god! Oh my—”

“Billy, it’s still the summer-time. Chrissy’s plans probably got cancelled,” you snapped accidentally. Maybe now was the time that all of your pent-up anger decided to leave your body, since you couldn’t do anything about it for years in the hospital… Or was it a laboratory? You didn’t know.

As usual, Papa lied, and kept secrets from his ‘children’.

“Now shh, we need to focus on their voices. We need to know where we are. Maybe they’re outside the trailer and need our help.” But it wouldn’t be like Chrissy to cancel plans last minute, not without a justifiable reason that would make any sort of sense.

The sound of Chrissy’s voice began to grow louder the more you and Billy listened. She and the boy spoke about their Spanish work for a little bit, and then followed a prolonged silence, until suddenly, a cry straight out of a horror movie emitted from the girl’s throat, followed by the red slash on the roof moving, the pulse and almost breath-like movements quickening. Spores began to fall out of the cut, holding it together, before a bright light shone through it, blinding you for a brief moment. And then a loud thud came.

Billy ran on his bare feet on the carpet and snatched a knife from inside one of the kitchen cupboards, staring at something in the darkness on the other side of the trailer; underneath where the new slash was most prominent. The female-looking figure cowered in the distance, streaks of blonde hair being illuminated by the light above, covering her ears as the male voice grew louder and more guttural, screaming for her to wake up.

“Chrissy, wake up! I don’t like this!”

The lightbulb in the bedroom began to flicker on and off rapidly as you paced back and forth around the room, not being able to get Chrissy’s high-pitched cries to leave the depths of your mind. Billy returned a moment later with the unconscious girl in his arms, carrying her bridal style through the trailer, before lowering her onto the bed.

“‘s okay. ‘s okay. Just breathe,” he whispered in her ear, listening to her laboured gasps for any sign of life. “You’re not dying on me, Chrissy. No, you’re not allowed to do that!”

“She’s dying,” you retorted, sadly, kneeling down next to her. “Something’s taking over her mind somewhere else. It’s like people get trapped here when they’re… Possessed…”

As you trailed off, you gently pressed your index and middle fingertips to the pulse point of her neck, your heart and stomach dropping as you felt her pulse slowing down more and more as the seconds passed. “And she’s not breathing. Why would you tell her to breathe if she’s not breathing?!”

“I don’t know! I’m just panicking and I’m saying whatever’s on my mind!” He shouted, making you roll your eyes and scoff. “Is that a problem for you, (Y/N)?!”

“Your babbling isn’t helping, Billy, but we need to help this girl. It won’t work with just one of us.”

You laid your left hand over the centre of her chest, directly in line with her heart and placed your right hand above your left, using the technique your mentor, Peter, taught you. CPR: Cardiopulmonary resuscitation, he called it, except somebody else had to do the mouth-to-mouth breath transaction. One person couldn’t do both.

“Do you know how to do CPR?” Part of you wished you didn’t ask. Other patients’ minds had been wired to feel happy to ask for help, but something about the thought of Billy kissing another girl changed the way you thought.

Your wires were cut loose.

“I was a lifeguard all summer, of course I know. Do you want me to continue the compressions and you do mouth-to-mouth with her?”

You glared at him, but internally let out a sigh of relief. Billy wouldn’t be kissing this girl after all. “We have no time for stalling, Billy. You do the compressions, I’ll give her the kiss of life, we don’t have much time left,” you scowled, getting up on your feet to move to kneel beside her head.

As Billy got to work, applying pressure and releasing pressure every 0.666 seconds, you made sure to keep count, you leaned down and plugged Chrissy’s nose with your index finger and thumb to stop the air you would be transferring in from releasing, pressing your lips to hers and blowing all of the air you had in your lungs into hers repeatedly.

Every so often you would stop to check her pulse, your tears staining her porcelain skin, feeling nothing for ten or so minutes… until some kind of miracle happened.

You closed your eyes, envisioning Chrissy standing before you with a perfect, cheerleader smile on her pretty face; arms out, running towards you to thank you for saving her life. And it gave you hope.

You took her in your arms in the vision tightly, burying your face in her hair. After a few moments, she looked up at you, eyes glazing over. And she thanked you over and over for saving her life from a monster, squeezing your waist.

But what monster could that be? The Mind Flayer?

After another thirty seconds you felt the vibration of a pulse in her neck, but that didn’t mean you stopped. You would stop giving her air once she opened her eyes and sat up.

“Can you hear me? Wake up, Chrissy!” Your head whipped around to the voice coming from the living room, but nobody was there. As you puffed another breath into her lungs, you racked your brain, trying to come up with a reasonable explanation as to how you could hear this person but you couldn’t see them.

“Come on, it’s okay. One… Two… Three… One… Two… Three…” Billy repeated over and over, and after each three numbers you transferred air from your own lungs into hers. “Come on, kid. Stay with us!”

Chrissy’s pulse was barely there, but it was still a pulse nonetheless, and it gave you another reason to keep going. One being you wouldn’t leave her there for dead.

But when one life is in the process of being brought back, another withers away, piece by piece. Disappearing over a long period of time, but not long enough. Never enough.

You began to feel yourself growing lightheaded, in a hazy daze as Billy slammed one more blow to Chrissy’s chest, and she sat up almost instantly, gasping for breath.

Meanwhile, your mind had clouded; that sensation of falling coming back to you like a nightmare. Your eyesight got dizzy, your lungs dragging you down from the sudden added weight to them. Nothing felt real. And then everything faded to black.

Billy clicked his fingers in front of your face, as if it would have been impossible to gain your attention from waving his hand near you. Your eyes snapped open, watching over Chrissy as she sprawled across the mattress, more angelic than anything you had ever seen before.

You sat back on your haunches with your knees on the cold floor as Chrissy’s hands desperately grasped at your arms, her nails dragging down your skin as Billy cradled her in his own arms.

“You’re safe with us now, Chrissy,” You whispered, as she rapidly nodded while trying to catch her breath. “Safe with us.”

You couldn’t wipe the smile off your face. You closed your eyes for a moment as you tried to stabilize your own breathing, and the darkness that once inhabited your mind when you closed your eyes had vanished, leaving a sky full of twinkling stars. There was something rewarding about the fact that you and a boy you met only ten minutes ago worked together to save this girl’s life.

Chrissy pushed herself up on her elbows to allow more air to circulate in her lungs, with one of Billy’s hands on her back to support her. Her laboured breaths began to calm down as she clung onto your arms, her pink sparkly nails digging into your skin, but you didn’t care. You’d just saved her life.

“Wh… Where am I? Where’s Ed…die?” Chrissy wasn’t quite sure what to say or do other than ask that. One moment she was walking with false confidence into the trailer of the sweetest, most misunderstood man that went to Hawkins High and the next minute she was thrown up against the ceiling, sucked through a tiny gap in the roof before falling back onto the very same floor. It just looked so different this time. “Billy…? What are you doing here?”

“That’s what we’re still trying to figure out. And your preppy ass showing up like this isn’t helping, Chrissy.”

You recognized that tone. You could recognize it from anyone, since that was the tone Papa spoke to you with. Too calm to be angry, too pointed to be a throwaway comment. Billy’s tone had changed. And you didn’t like it.

You tried not to feel angry at his tone towards the un-dead beauty, but that was next to impossible. Would it have been better to leave her for dead and to find her held up by tape and glue to bulletin boards and street lights around Hawkins, trapped in Missing Persons posters? Or would it be better to help her get back to Hawkins with the both of you? That was something Billy should have thought about before opening his mouth.

“Oh leave it out, Hargrove,” you grumbled, pulling Chrissy out of his embrace and into yours, her body trembling in aftershocks of fear as she moved. “With Chrissy’s help we might get out of here faster since she might know where we are once she fully regains consciousness. And remember, you have a second chance at life. Not many people get that, so be grateful!”

Billy rolled his eyes. “I’d rather have anyone else’s life than my own.”

“Well right now you have your own life, so get used to it. Our only priority right now is finding some kind of opening or a door or something to get us out of here,” you said, not meaning to sound as aggressive as you did.

“Do you know how you got here?” You asked, running your fingers through Chrissy’s slightly matted hair, cradling her head to your chest. “It’s okay if you can’t remember, pretty girl, but it would be more helpful if you did.”

She almost screamed in pain as she tried to sit up in the bed with the help of you and Billy, when suddenly, the pain stopped, and she could feel her fingers and toes again.

“That red gash in the ceiling is something new, it wasn’t there when Billy and I got here,” you noted. “You must have fallen through it.”

She moderately remembered what had happened to her; being picked up by Eddie Munson after cheer practice to go to his trailer to study for Mr Nichols’ impossible Spanish exam.

Then all she felt was pain, rip-your-heart-out excruciating pain, and then hearing Eddie’s distant screams for her to wake up from this trance she fell under.

She felt her airways beginning to close up, a large, slimy, gray hand looming over her face. And then it stopped, and she felt herself falling, falling, faster and faster until she hit the ground of the exact same spot she was standing in, except now she wasn’t with Eddie.

It didn’t feel like any of it had happened, but she knew it did, and she thought she didn’t have long left until you and Billy, her saviours, came to her rescue.

Chrissy smiled weakly. “I think I did. But if I fell through it that must mean there’s a way back out through it, right? Is that how this works?”

You hadn’t even noticed that Billy left the room, until he returned with a ladder under his arm, the metal scraping against the bare skin of his ribcage. His chest heaved as he set it down on the ground, taking extra care to not touch anything that moved in case it woke up the Mind Flayer, or whatever else may be lurking in the shadows and depths of this realm.

“Only one way to find out.”

stitches masterlist

[boredfanwrites]

Buddie #1

There is not a bone in my body that can accept that in any other universe they wouldn't be perfect together. Post 4x14 so SPOILERS for that. This got so much longer than I thought it would be. Sorry in advance, there's much more under the cut.

· Eddie tells him about the will. Chris goes to Buck if anything happens to Eddie. Which it very nearly did.

· It causes Buck to actually stop and think things through before rushing into danger.

· The rest of the team question it while Eddie's recovering but he just says there's someone relying on him now.

· They take it to mean Taylor - well Chimney and Albert do, Hen and Bobby are more clued in.

· Buck talks about Eddie and Chris like he did when they quarantined together - like they're living together again.

· They are.

· Buck moved in to help Eddie and his recovery, with Ana stepping in when he was on shifts - even if she tended to undo everything Buck had done.

· He tells himself it's because she's not used to the way he and Eddie do things - yes that one singular bowl and plate live in the lower cupboard, it's so Eddie can reach them easily. Chris always picks the movie on movie nights, Eddie and Buck alternate when he's gone to bed.

· Eddie is stubborn as always, but has managed to allow Buck to help him dress and shower - Ana is very much not allowed, despite her protests they're barely in a relationship.

· Eddie explains to Buck that yes, they've been together for six months but they've not really been togetherand he quietly admits that he regrets telling Chris so soon.

· Buck calms him and says that it was right to introduce Chris to the idea of Eddie dating, but yeah, maybe it wasn't smart to spring Ana on him so early - especially because she decided she had to be a bigger part of his life now he was aware.

· Chris manages to get to the station once while Buck is on shift.

· Buck comes back to Albert making him pancakes and Chris scribbling with the things they keep for the school trips.

· 'What are you doing here, bud? Does your dad know?'

· 'Kinda.'

· 'What does kinda mean here?'

· 'He knows I wanted to see you. I don't think he knows that I came here.'

· Albert quickly jumps in saying he's texted Eddie and he and Carla are on their way, it just happens that the rig got back before they got there.

· Buck sits down with Chris, leaning his head on his arms and looks at the picture. It's him, Eddie and Buck with Carla and her husband in the background.

· 'What's wrong, Chris?'

· 'Ana.'

· 'Ok, what did she do?'

· 'Tried to get me to bath before I ate and then said I had to do my homework before TV time.'

· 'Buddy, you always have to do your homework before TV time.'

· 'But she tried to help me.'

· 'Your dad and I try our best to help you. She's a teacher, she's better use than us.'

· 'No that's not it.'

· Chris has tears in his eyes and a death grip on his crayon.

· 'She told the poor boy his handwriting was ineligible and took his pencil, tried to get him to tell her the answers and that she would write them for him.' Carla sighs.

· She stands with her arms open and Chris runs into them. Eddie looms behind them, looking sad.

· Well, neutral really, but Buck knows his micro expressions well enough.

· After that Ana is banned from the house in the afternoons/evenings and Carla steps back in. The new problem is Ana turning up when Buck has days off - their schedule was she was here when Buck wasn't, for multiple reasons.

· Ana's great, there's just something about her that Buck doesn't like and she definitely doesn't like Buck. Maybe it's because they're just opposites.

· Eddie tries to gently tell her that he barely gets to see Buck anymore and he needs it for his mental health. Ana starts pestering about the fact that he should want to see his girlfriend more than his best friend.

· It's one of their biggest fights and turns into a screaming match one night (Chris is at Hen's with Denny but Buck is hiding away in the guest room) where Eddie shouts that she had decided that she was his girlfriend without asking Eddie if that was what he wanted and she was suffocating.

· She leaves pretty quickly after that and Buck is incredibly happy as their paths never cross again.

· There's an emptiness settling in his chest when he finds out that the two are still together and are treating the relationship as though they're just dating again. He hates that he really doesn't like the idea that it's working out now that they're on even footing.

· He decides to push it away and starts getting reckless again. Taylor's hanging around the station more like she wants more from Buck, but he'd given up. She liked being chased and now that he's tired of it, she wants him. He knows she'll get bored if he shows interest again.

· It's interest he doesn't have. Eddie had called him Evan and told him he deserved more. How was he supposed to go back to normal after that?

· Why doesn't Eddie see how life changing that was?

· Eddie does. But in typical Eddie fashion, he pushes it deep down and replaces it with his content being with Ana. She makes his parents happy, which makes him happy. She gets along with Pepa and Isabel and his sisters, but they act a lot more familial with Buck.

· It makes sense, he tells himself - they've had years with Buck.

· Nothing really changes for Buck until TK and Judd find themselves in LA. Buck hastily explains to TK that he wasn't asking him out back in Austin, he just wanted a friend and really he wasn't attracted to guys.

· TK just straight up laughs at Buck.

· 'Buckley, you checked me, Carlos, and the barista out in the span of like five minutes. You're a little attracted to guys.'

· 'Wait, you mean you and Diaz ain't datin'?'

· Judd's question throws Buck through a loop.

· 'What? No...we're just...we're friends. Best friends.'

· TK laughs again, patting Buck on the shoulder.

· Once they're on their last day, TK takes Buck out for a drink like he'd promised. Buck tries to ignore the fact he's brought him to a gay bar.

· He gets hit on at least three times in an hour, not to mention the building collection of beers for both him and TK and he decides he doesn't actually mind it.

· 'Ok, I want you to do something for me. Scan the crowd and pick a guy, any guy, and tell me what you find attractive about him.'

· Buck picks out a shorter man, tanned skin and dark hair.

· 'He's got a cute smile.'

· 'Oh boy, you have a type.'

· 'Huh?'

· 'He looks like Eddie.'

· And he does. Like a Walmart version of Eddie though. He didn't laugh like Eddie, didn't have the same laugh lines. Or frown lines. His eyes weren't as warm when he met Buck's nor did he smile as fondly. And...

· 'Fuck.'

· 'You just now realizing your feelings for him?'

· 'Yeah. How did I not know?'

· 'Honestly, it was probably such a subtle shift. From what you've told me you've basically been a couple for a year and a half, so you didn't realize anything had changed for you.'

· 'I've never denied it.'

· 'I mean you clearly must have.'

· 'No. I meant that there have been so many times people assumed Eddie and I were a couple and I never denied it, I went along with it all.'

· 'Shit man, you had it bad before you even realized.'

· Buck groans as TK throws an arm around him, leaning against his shoulder.

· Things change after that. Buck is hesitant with physical touch with Eddie - it's his main love language and he needs to make sure he's not overdoing it and making Eddie uncomfortable.

· Eddie notices because of course, he does. Buck has pulled away from him for seemingly no reason. The second Eddie can dress, shower, and reach the high cabinets himself Buck is talking about going home.

· He is home.

· Eddie doesn't say it, he just hums, not really agreeing. He's gotten used to Buck being around and so has Chris. They'd easily fallen back into their quarantine routine and now Buck would be leaving again.

· A quick thought of getting shot again fills Eddie's head. Though this time it's nothing to do with his PTSD and more so that he doesn't want Buck to leave. So he exaggerates just a little.

· 'You know, my PTSD is still acting up. Maybe, you could stay until it balances out a little?'

· 'You'd want me to?'

· 'Yeah, you're great at getting me out and calming me and Christopher down.'

· 'You don't think Ana should start taking up some night shifts?'

· 'I don't really want her to deal with that side of me yet.'

· 'Okay.'

· 'Okay?'

· 'Yeah, I'll stay.'

· Eddie keeps an eye on Buck just as much as he keeps an eye on Eddie. He quickly realizes that Buck is holding in his own troubles. He knows from experience that Buck does not think his problems are anywhere near as bad as everyone else's. He has a lot of unlearning to do.

· Subtly, Eddie starts talking to him about his mental state, his worries, trying to let Buck know it's ok to do the same.

· When he and Ana inevitably break up not even a month later, it's Buck that he tells first.

· Buck, who has his back.

· Buck, who loves Christopher as his own.

· Buck, who is insecure about everything he does except saving people.

· Buck, who thinks he is unworthy and undeserving of love.

· Buck, who shows his love through acts of kindness and physical affection.

· Buck, who Eddie is so unapologetically in love with and probably has been for years.

· The revelation doesn't shock him like he thought it would. More so, it was a natural progression of their relationship.

· Friends. Best friends. Co-parents. Co-habiting. Partners. Partners.

· Eddie sees a future with Buck, a future he'd only ever seen with Shannon but it's so much brighter.

· He comes home from his first shift back - Buck wasn't working and offered to look after Christopher so Eddie knew he was safe - to find Buck on the couch, staring into an empty beer bottle.

· 'Hey?' it's broken and Eddie drops his things to rush over to him.

· 'You good?'

· 'No. I'm not.'

· Buck looks up, tears in his eyes, cheeks red and puffy.

· 'What's going on, Evan?'

· That's all it takes. He breaks. He babbles about watching Eddie die over and over in his dreams. How sometimes the shower will splash his face just so and he's thrown back with Eddie's blood on his face. How he was trying to get through it with Dr. Copeland but it wasn't helping.

· Nothing was helping.

· 'It's ok. I'm here, I'm okay.'

· 'You weren't. You died, Eds. You died on me.'

· 'You saved me.'

· 'What if I hadn't? I don't know a life without you anymore. I can't lose another person I love.'

· 'You love me?'

· 'Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?'

· Buck registers his words, quickly backing away from Eddie and tries to make a break for the open door. Eddie isn't letting him run away anymore. His wrist snakes around Buck's.

· 'Evan. I told you there wasn't anyone else I'd want to look after Christ. I told you you weren't expendable. I said that because I love you and you needed to hear it. You had to learn you deserved love. Love that Chris shows you. Love that I can show you. I love you so much, Evan Buckley.'

· Buck crumples in Eddie's arms, Eddie rocks him gently until the sobs subside.

· It's not an immediate or obvious change. There are still things the two need to work through.

· It's different but the same. There's more contact now; hugs, tactile hands on waists, and backs at work. Kisses in the bunk, soft and slow.

· It's new and exciting. Especially when they finally get together, officially and exclusively.

· Chris loves telling everyone about his two dads.

· Eddie and Buck are happier, closer.

· Buck had always been a Diaz. He'd always had a family who loved him. The big change was he got to love them both endlessly in return.

[acesydneysage]

A Sydney and Eddie retrospective

@vablappreciationweek Favorite familial relationship: The Melrose Twins

Part 2, Books 4-6: The Heartbreaking Trilogy, Why Are You Doing This To Me This Is So Sad

Part 1 here

In The Fiery Heart, Sydney and Eddie definitely already love each othe like siblings. By the end of the book they prove that in the most painful way possible, but let's ge through some cuteness first while I steel my heart.

We get Adrian's perspective on this book, so it's nice to see Eddie talking about Sydney when she isn't around:

“Because it’s Sydney,”said Eddie from the backseat. In the rearview mirror, I could see an easy smile on his face, though there was a perpetual sharpness in his eyes as he scanned the world for danger. He and Neil had been trained by the guardians, the dhampir organization of badasses that protected the Moroi. “Giving one hundred percent to a task is slacking for her.”

When Sydney wants to soften Zoe's extreme opinions on vampires, she picks Eddie to be Zoe's driving instructor because she wants "someone approachable and friendly who’d show her not all dhampirs were evil creatures of the night."

When Sydney is being a sappy romantic and describes what love is to the group, Eddie is the one who lingers looking at her the longest, he can tell something is different about her. They really know each other by now. When Eddie let's Zoe drive outside of the parking lot, he knows Sydney so well that he knows what she's going to say, and what to say to make it better:

“I can’t believe Eddie of all people would do that. It’s irresponsible.”She nodded. “He said you’d say that and that I should tell you, ‘At least it wasn’t Angeline.’”I couldn’t help it. I laughed at that. “That’s true. He does have limits.”

Later when she tells Zoe frivolity might not be such a bad thing, they have a sweet little moment:

“Sometimes frivolity isn’t a bad thing.” Eddie, who didn’t seem put out about the dance, grinned. “Sydney, when we first met, I never would’ve thought those words could come out of your mouth. What happened to you?” Everything, I thought. I met his grin with one of my own. “We all need some fun. We should forget that dance and go out and see a movie that night. When was the last time we all did that?”“I think the answer is ‘never,’” said Jill.

When Neil comes up with his crazy plan to test the Stigoi vaccine, Eddie is very shaken up by the similarities to the event in Spokane that lead to Mason's death. While Sydney thinks that "if Eddie was involved, one Strigoi seemed feasible", what finally convinces Eddie to go is her magic. Although Neil puts her on the spot, she does ultimately make the choice to trust him with this dangerous knowledge about her:

Eddie wasn’t swayed, and there was a look on his face I’d never seen before. “I’m not denying the principles, but it’s too dangerous. And not just to you. I did something like this once . . .” A pain so intense that it tore at my heart crossed Eddie’s features. “Me and some friends. We thought we could take on Strigoi . . . and my best friend ended up dead. No matter how prepared you think you are, even against only one, the unexpected can happen.” [...] The more this got out, the more trouble I was in. And yet, as I looked into Eddie’s steady gaze, I was reminded of our friendship and all we’d been through. In a world of secrets and lies, there were few I could thoroughly trust anymore, but I knew then, without a doubt, that Eddie was one I could. Taking a deep breath, hoping I wasn’t being a fool, I held out my hand. A nervous glance around confirmed we were alone, and I brought forth a spark of fire in my palm that soon grew into the size of a tennis ball. Eddie leaned over and gasped, the orange flames reflecting off his face. “Maybe . . . maybe our odds have gotten better,” he said.

During the fight with the Strigoi they go after, we get a little more about their similarities, how they're both so dedicated to helping others, and they both seriously admire each other so much. You get a bit of that from Sydney's perspective,and how much she cares about Eddie:

I knew what agony Eddie had to be in because I shared it. We both wanted to help Neil. Doing nothing, even for a handful of seconds, went against every part of our beings. [...] For his part, Eddie was magnificent. It had been a while since I’d seen him fight, and I’d nearly forgotten that the adopted brother I joked and ate lunch with was a lethal warrior. [...] I had to act. I couldn’t just stand by and let Eddie be annihilated, not if there was anything I could do.

After the fight, Sydney is caught up in the euphoria of surviving a near death experience, and she makes pretty much zero effort to hide her relationship with Adrian from Eddie:

As soon as I was on the road with Eddie and Jill, I told them, “I need to see Adrian. Drop me off and take my car. He’ll give me a ride back.” Eddie looked totally surprised by that. “Why do you need to see him?” “I just do.” I didn’t feel like attempting an excuse, and Eddie wasn’t the type to badger me. The most I got was a curious look when we reached the apartment. His curiosity turned to panic when he realized I’d be leaving him alone with Jill. “Good luck,”I said as I got out, not entirely sure who needed it the most.

When Eddie figures out that they're together she tries to avoid the conversation, expecting condemnation, but he's very supportive. This is the last conversation they have before everything falls apart, and everything I tried to remove to shorten it felt like an important character moment, but the most relevant parts are bolded:

“Sydney . . .”Eddie’s light mood vanished, and even with my eyes on the road, his tone tipped me off that something serious was about to happen. “About that. About you going to Adrian’s . . .”I felt a tightening of my throat and couldn’t answer immediately. “Don’t talk about that,” I said. “Please.” “No, we need to.” Eddie knew. Eddie knew, and if the subject wasn’t so dire, I would’ve laughed. He was oblivious to his own social affairs, but guardians were trained to watch and observe. Eddie did that, and no doubt he’d picked up all sorts of little things between Adrian and me. We tried so hard to hide from the Alchemists, but hiding from our friends, who knew us and loved us, was impossible. “Are you going to lecture me?” I asked stiffly. “Tell me I’m breaking taboos that have been in place for centuries to preserve the purity of our races?” “What?” He was aghast. “No, of course not.” I dared a look. “What do you mean ‘of course not’?” “Sydney, I’m your friend. I’m his friend. I’d never judge you, and I’d certainly never condemn you.” “A lot of people think what we’re doing is wrong.” It felt strange and oddly relieving to acknowledge my relationship with Adrian to another person. “Well, I’m not one of them. If you guys want it . . . that’s your business.” “Everyone’s suddenly very liberal about this,” I said with wonder. “I just heard a similar thing from Trey and Angeline—about their own relationship, that is. Not about . . . other people’s.” “I think my ill-fated time with Angeline may be part of it,” he said, with more humor than I expected, considering she’d cheated on him. “She talked enough about her people that after a while, it didn’t seem that weird. And, well, my race exists because humans and Moroi got together and had kids way back when.”I felt a smile start to grow on my lips. “Adrian says it wouldn’t be fair to the world if he and I had kids, what with the overwhelming power of our collective charm, brains, and good looks.” Eddie laughed outright, not something I heard very often, and I found myself laughing too. “Yeah, I can see him saying something like that. And that’s the thing, I think . . . the real reason I’m not that weirded out by you two. It goes against all sound logic, but somehow, you two together . . . it just works.” “‘Against all sound logic,’” I repeated. “Isn’t that the truth.” A little of his amusement faded. “But that’s not what worries me. Or the morality of it. It’s your own people I’m worried about. How long are you going to be able to go on like this?” I sighed as I took the exit for the meeting spot. “As long as the center holds.”

Eddie thinks Sydney and Adrian make sense. Obviously I agree that they absolutely do, but on a surface level it doesn't look like it. You have to know them and have a better understanding of their personalities to figure out how they actually fit together. What he's worried about is the Alchemists. Of course, by this point, since the ending of TFH is a sadistically drawn out torture, we already know from the ending of the last chapter that she's about to be captured.

I made it the door first... and found Eddie. His clothes were dirty and torn, and the right side of his face was swollen and red. There was a wild, half-crazed look in his eyes I’d never seen before. A feeling of dread settled over me, and the darkness and despair and fear that had left me alone for so long began to rear their collective ugly head. I knew, even without Eddie saying a word, what had to have happened. I knew because of that terrible look of pain on his face, a pain similar to when he hadn’t been able to save Mason. [...] “Adrian,” he gasped out. “I tried, I tried. There were too many. I couldn’t stop them.” He came forward and gripped my arm. “I tried, but they took her. It was a setup. I don’t know where she is. She tricked me, damn it! I never would have left her if she hadn’t tricked me!”

When they figure out it's a trap and he tells her to run, her first instinct was that she couldn't leave him behind. When they're running together through the woods the Alchemists start shooting at Eddie, specifically. He's running at Sydney's pace and she knows he would never leave her, the he would die to save her. And she knows she could not let him die.

Eddie won’t leave me, I thought frantically. He’ll never leave me. They want me, but they don’t care about him. He can live or die, and it won’t matter to them. But if he’s what’s keeping them away, they’ll shoot him and destroy his body. “Eddie,”I said, panting. “We need to split up.” “Never.” That answer wasn’t a surprise. What was a surprise was that out of all the things rattling around in my mind, Abe Mazur’s words popped up in the forefront:. Don’t think for an instant that I wouldn’t do terrible, unspeakable things if it could save someone I love. Because it was Abe, I’d naturally assumed he was talking about doing terrible, unspeakable things to other people. But as Eddie and I held on to each other, the words took on a whole different meaning. In that moment, I knew I would do anything to save Eddie—my friend—whom I loved. Even if it meant doing something terrible and unspeakable to myself.

The first thing established in the first paragraph of Bloodlines is that re-education is Sydney's greatest fear, literally her worst nightmare. But she faces that, she walks right back and turns herself in in order to keep Eddie safe. She tricks him into spliting up by claiming that it's part of a spell, and he believes her because he's seen her do extraordinary things.

“I tried,” he whispered. “Adrian, I tried. I never would have ever left her if I’d known. I would have stayed with her to the end. I would have laid down my life and—” I had to forcibly hit the pause button on my own feelings as I dealt with his. Eddie had lost another person. It was bad luck, that was all. He was one of the most badass , capable guardians out there, but he couldn’t believe that about himself, not when he kept seeing these failures laid at his feet. Looking into his eyes, I recognized the intense self-loathing consuming him. I knew the feeling well because I was carrying around a fair amount of it myself. “I know you would have,” I said. “There was nothing you could do.” He shook his head and stared off with a haunted look. “I was an idiot. I never should’ve bought into that spell stuff. After what I’d seen her do with fire, it just seemed so . . . well, real. I believed her. It made sense.” I smiled without humor. “Because that’s what she does. She’s trained to make people believe things. And outsmart them. You didn’t have a chance.” She also was willing to trade her own life to save her friend’s, but no one had trained her to do that. It was just something within her. Eddie wasn’t going to be swayed so easily, and I left him to his grief as I huddled with mine.

When Sydney's captured, Eddie feels like he failed her, just as he'd failed Mason in Spokane, and Jill when the rebels killed her. But still, he has faith in her, that she can hold on to herself:

“How much can they really change her, though?” asked Eddie. “I mean . . . she’s Sydney. She’ll be the same . . . right? She can fight them.”

In Silver Shadows,Sydney is in re-education, and she still finds it in her to be worried about her friends on the outside. Eddie's humiliation and guilt over having lost Sydney killed the kindling romance he had with Jill. There isn't much he can do to help find her at this point.

Once they find a lead on where she is, going to her rescue is very important to Eddie, but he also feels conflicted about leaving Jill with less protection. When the time comes, Jill convinces them to take Eddie because he needed to be part of her rescue, he'd been consumed by guilt this whole time, and that might be the only thing that would allow him to feel redeemed.

With some urging from Jill, he leaves her behind, and goes off to break into a prison again, to rescue a much worthier prisoner this time. After getting mostof the prisoners out, Eddie and Adrian go back into the burning building to get Sydney and the remaining people. After they bring her out to freedom, they have this moment where they hold each other and cry, it always makes me so emotional:

Eddie came last, and as we sized each other up, the tears hovering in my eyes finally spilled. “Eddie, I’m so sorry I lied to you that night.” He shook his head and pulled me to him. I heard tears choke up his voice. “I’m sorry I couldn’t stop them. I’m sorry I wasn’t protection enough.” “Oh, Eddie,” I said, sniffling. “You’re the best protection. No one could have a better guardian than you. Or a better friend.”

I hope Eddie did feel redeemed, because Sydney pretty much immediately tricks him, and gives him the slip again. She does take the time to try to nudge his love life again first. Then she goes off with Adrian, going against the plan, because she thinks the other fugitives will be safer without her.

"Eddie shot me one last parting smile that nearly choked me up again." “I never thought I’d see Castile brought to tears,” said Adrian as he started up the Mustang. “This really hit him hard. Hell, it hit all of us hard, but he really beat himself up for it. He never forgave himself for you giving him the slip.” “Let’s hope he can,” I said, putting my seatbelt on. “Because it’s about to happen again. We aren’t meeting them at the safe house.”

Eddie was furious about this, but at least this time she didn't get captured. And soon enough he had something else to feel bad about, since Jill went missing right after he got back to her. She disppeared without a trace in the middle of the night, and there's another failure laid at Eddie's feet.

He's not in a great state in the beginning of The Ruby Circle:

Eddie appeared in the doorway. Seeing him almost always brought a smile to my face. In Palm Springs, we’d passed ourselves off as twins, sharing similar dark blond hair and brown eyes. But over time, he’d truly come to feel like a brother to me. I knew few others with such courage and loyalty. I was proud to call him my friend, and as such, it hurt me to see all the pain he felt over Jill’s disappearance. There was always a haunted look about him now, and sometimes I worried whether he was really taking care of himself. He hardly ever shaved anymore, and I had a feeling the only reason he bothered eating was so that he could keep training and stay in shape for when he located Jill’s abductors.

Sydney isn't doing all that great either, stuck in a hostile environment while she deals with her trauma and worries about Jill. When Sydney and Eddie sneak out of court to look for Jill, the power of Raptorbot can make him smile:

“It couldn’t have been that unexpected,” I argued. “I mean, why did he build a dinosaur body for her? Why not something more human? Or at least a more friendly animal?” “Because then there wouldn’t have been much of a movie,” said Eddie. “There’s still got to be a plausible backstory …” I said. A wry smile crossed Eddie’s features, and although the entire topic was absurd, I realized I’d hardly ever seen anything but a grim expression on his face since Jill had been taken. “I don’t think you can really sit down with a movie called Raptorbot Rampage and expect a plausible backstory,” he said. The attendant looked offended. “What are you suggesting? It was a fine piece of film. When the sequel comes out, people will be lined up out the doors to see this exhibit!” “Sequel?” Eddie and I asked in unison.

I love it when the twins talkin unison, even if they probably had opposite tones. And I really love Eddie being a fan of Raptorbot I'm sorry. He and Declan have matching Raptorbot pajamas, you can't change my mind. This is another exchange that screams siblings to me:

“We were probably his only customers today,” I remarked. “That’ll make us memorable—that and having someone who’s actually seen and liked Raptorbot Rampage.” “Hey,” warned Eddie. “Don’t judge until you’ve watched it.”

Later Sydney tries to tease him about it again, but he's focused on the search so his good humor doesn't come back. I think it's very sweet thet she saw something that had made him momentarily happy through the pain, and tried to press that button again.

Eddie is understandably very protective throughout this book. It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you, they actually run into Sydney's family, while they're trying to stay off the Alchemists' radar:

“Then get out of here. Hurry—before he comes out. Both of you.” I was stunned at this complete reversal in her behavior, but Eddie didn’t need to be told twice. He took hold of my arm and nearly dragged me to the car. “We’re going—now,” he ordered. I caught one last glimpse of Zoe before Eddie shoved me in the car, where Ms. Terwilliger sat waiting for us. A thousand emotions played over Zoe’s face as we peeled out, but I could only interpret a few. Sadness. Longing. As we quickly got back on the road, I found myself shaking. Eddie was driving and kept anxiously checking the rearview mirror. “No sign of pursuit,” he said. “She must not have been able to see which direction we went to tell him.” I slowly shook my head. “No … she didn’t tell him at all. She helped us.” “Sydney,” said Eddie, in a stern-but-trying-to-sound-kind voice, “she’s the one who turned you in the first time! The one who started that whole re-education nightmare.”

He doesn't really belive that Zoe had a change of heart, and he tries to be so gentle with Sydney, while anxiously trying to get her away.

With how sad he is in this TRC (he even has broody beard to show it), the bits where he gets excited about things are really adorable. He's very enthusiastic about meeting Malachi Wolfe:

“Are the Chihuahuas really trained to attack?” he asked. I couldn’t help but grin. “That’s what Wolfe claims. We’ve never seen them in action, though.” “I can’t wait to see his nunchucks.” “Do not touch them,” I warned. “Or any weapon, without permission. If he approves of you, he might lend you something too.” [...] “Oh, man,” breathed Eddie. “There really is a herd of them.” I’d seen Eddie fearlessly face down an attacking Strigoi, but he took an uneasy step back at the sound of the canine charge. I grinned and turned toward the door, waiting for Malachi Wolfe himself to answer.

There's a lot of hugging after Sydney leaves re-education. Sydney and Eddie hug a lot, but just in general. Good for her it's what she deserves. "“Eddie,” Sydney exclaimed, running to give him a hug. He grinned back. “You guys okay?” "

When Sydney and Eddie are preparing to infiltrate the Warriors of Light as recruits, she gets a super strength spell while he gets super excited about it, and they have the cutest arm wrestle in history:

“And how much stronger?” asked Eddie eagerly. “Like lift-up-a-car stronger?” Maude smiled. “Sorry to disappoint, but no. [...]” She glanced between Eddie and Sydney speculatively, her smile growing. “I’d say you’re strong enough to hold your own with a dhampir in an arm wrestling match.” “I would kind of love to see that,” I admitted. Eddie’s face said he would as well. Sydney groaned. “Really? That’s so barbaric.” Eddie leaned over and propped his arm up on the table that had previously held the canteen. “Come on, Mrs. Ivashkov. Let’s do this. Besides, if you’re squeamish about arm wrestling, how are you going to handle going head-to-head with the Warriors?” [...] Ultimately, Eddie pushed his strength to its limit and finally defeated her, but not without her holding her own for a while. I held up her arm triumphantly, like a victor at a boxing match. “My wife, ladies and gentlemen. Beauty, brains, and now brawn.” “Awesome,” said Eddie, in a rare moment of delight.

He's really excited about human magic in general, such an adorable nerd. And again, they really do admire each other so much. Following Sydney's blackmailing the Alchemists: "I hung up, and Eddie regarded me with awe. “That was pretty badass. But do you actually think it’ll work?”"

In the epilogue, Eddie pulled strings to live with Sydney and Adrian as a Guardian, and he's one of the people who's in on Declan's secret. He even chooses to sleepin Declan's room.

I sprinted out of the room and up the stairs, to the bedroom that doubled as both a nursery and Eddie’s room. I had high enough royal rank to finally be assigned my own guardian, and Eddie, in that noble way of his, had pulled strings to be assigned to us. I’d initially protested because I wanted him to stay at Court and have a semi-normal dating life with Jill. Eddie, however, felt obligated to be with us—both out of friendship to Sydney and me and for all the times Neil had helped him. We’d offered to turn the house’s small study into Eddie’s own bedroom, but he always ended up sleeping in Declan’s room anyway.

I'm really glad they didn't get separated by the end, it always makes me happy to think about them living together.

[boykingsw]

eddie week day 6 - "I don't think I'm strong enough." + faith

1.3k, part two of day five's fic. you can read that here or on ao3.

AO3 Link

Today was supposed to be one of the happiest days of Eddie's life, and here he sits, staring out the window with an ache in his chest.

The sky is a particular shade of blue. Like the eyes he used to spend ages looking into. It's familiar. He's reminded of a conversation he had with Christopher, about a week ago.

"You wanna know what I learned from my science book today?"

"What?" Eddie had whispered, staring up at the ceiling and holding him close.

"It said that everything in the universe is made up of these tiny little bits called atoms," Chris said. "Everything. The plants and animals and clouds and stars are all made of these little pieces."

"Yeah?"

He nodded. "And it said that those atoms never dissapear. They're always around. And even when people die, the atoms in their bodies slowly get sent back out into the universe to make new things."

Tears burned in Eddie's eyes as he turned his head to look at Christopher. He didn't quite know what to say, so he let Chris continue.

"So I think...I think Buck is still out there in the world. Even if we can't see him. There are pieces of him in the trees, and the clouds, and the sky."

It hadn't done much to comfort him that day. In fact, every piece of Buck he then saw around him just made the awful feeling inside of him grow.

But as he sits here now, on a day that was supposed to be full of happiness and love, he lets himself see the good in it too.

"I never really believed in this kind of stuff, you know," he says out loud. "A higher power, signs from the universe. Any of it. But it feels...different now." Now that there's a chance you might be out there somewhere.

"Hell, I don't even know what I'm doing, saying this out loud. I guess I just...wanted to be with you, in any way I can. Today especially."

Eddie blinks away tears, looking down at the wedding invitation in his hand. When he speaks again, his voice sounds rough.

"We were supposed to be getting married today," he says. "We wanted an outdoor wedding, and you said June always has the nicest weather." He looks back out towards the clear blue sky. Feels the soft, warm breeze coming in through the open window. "I guess you were right."

He falls silent again, tears running down his cheeks, and the ache inside him grows.

It's not the nice kind of ache either. Not the excited beat of his heart or nervous butterflies he'd been getting used to just a month ago -no, this ache has claws. It wraps itself around him like barbed wire, squeezing tighter and tighter with each breath he takes.

He wants to escape it. But he's afraid that this one feeling is the only thing keeping him together, and if he breaks from its hold, he'll shatter into pieces.

And he doesn't have anyone around to help him pick them up anymore.

"Buck, I don't think I can do this without you," he whispers. Hopes that if there's even the slightest chance that Buck is out there, listening, he can hear it. "I don't think I'm strong enough."

Eddie knows that if Buck were here, he'd tell him he has nothing to worry about. That he could do whatever he set his mind to.

But he's not. All there is is silence.

"We're trying. Chris and I, we're trying so hard. But everything- everything was so much easier with you here. Better. You made our lives so much better, and now that you're gone, I don't know how to live without it.

"You told me you wanted me to be happy, but-" He runs a hand through his hair. "I don't think I can be happy without you."

After a moment's silence, he says, "We were supposed to do that together. Get married. Grow our family." He looks down at his hands. "I was supposed to watch you hold our newborn baby for the first time, and pretend not to notice that you were crying when they took their first steps.

"We were supposed to fight over stupid things like who's turn it was to do the laundry, or which drawer the salad tongs belonged in. And even after all of that, we were supposed to fall asleep curled up next to each other, because we never stay mad for long.

"We were supposed to grow old together. We were supposed to have a life together."

And now we won't get the chance.

The sun reappears from behind a cloud, casting the room in bright light, and Eddie's eyes follow its rays. His gaze catches on something, a corner peeking out from underneath the mattress. When he moves closer to pull it out, he realizes it's a slip of paper.

Sitting back on the windowsill, he unfolds it, and his heart clenches in his chest when he sees, at the top of the page in Buck's messy scrawl, 'wedding vows'

It feels significant, that he found this right here, right now. Like the sky knew he needed to hear from Buck today, and decided to hand him the one last piece of Buck that he didn't already have.

He blinks away tears and focuses on the writing. The paper flutters slightly in the morning breeze.

'Eddie,

The day is finally here. It's kind of crazy to think that after everything, this is where we ended up.

I mean, I hated you that first day. I really and truly did. If anyone had told me that just a few years later, you'd be the love of my life, I never would've believed it. I don't think anyone would've.

Well, except maybe Bobby. He's always known me a little too well.'

Eddie laughs weakly at that.

'But the thing is, you never let me hate you. Even when I was completely awful to you, you were kind to me anyway.

You've always been like that. Seen me at my worst, and chosen to bring out the best in me despite it. Saw every broken piece of me, and loved me anyway.

I think the moment I realized that, was the moment I knew you were it for me. Because you stay. No matter what. Even when things get hard, even if the world is crumbling around us, you're there to hold my hand.

You make my life better, just by being in it. Being yourself. And I can't wait to spend the rest of my life by your side.

I know they say, in these ceremonies, "til death do us part," but I think I'll keep loving you after that, too. I don't think anything could ever stop me from doing that.

I love you, Eddie Diaz. Thank you for loving me in return.'

Eddie's not sure how long he spends staring at the paper, but he doesn't want to tear his gaze away. Doesnt want to stop looking at Buck's final words to him. This last fragment of Buck that was left behind. Because after this, all he'll have is memories.

He does, eventually, because he's learnt from experience that the world never stops turning, no matter how much you wish it would.

He looks back up to that familiar blue sky. Whispers, "I love you too," and feels it right down to his bones.

-

Five months later, Eddie takes Christopher to visit Buck and place fresh flowers beside his headstone.

Chris spends a few minutes talking, telling stories from school, and of all the things they've been getting up to at home.

When he wanders away for a few moments to pick fresh wildflowers from the area near the pond, Eddie kneels down on the grass.

"We miss you," he says. "We always will. But I think-" He looks up at Christopher, leaning down to inspect each flower closely in order to pick the perfect one. "I think we're gonna be okay."

A breeze flutters through the trees above his head, and Eddie swears he hears them whisper back, "I knew you would be."

[tthael]

I apologize if you’ve already written about this before, but one thing I’ve been wondering about your Indelicate version of Eddie is in regard to his occasional tendency toward more (for lack of a better/less serious-sounding term) “aggresive” actions (e.g., throwing the lotion bottle, throwing the water, etc.) directed toward Richie. I know it was hinted at that the urges to aggress may sometimes be/have been the result of repressed or misconstrued attraction, but I’m wondering if some of it is also a result of Eddie’s injury and the related feelings of a lack of control over his own body? Like hypothetically, if Eddie were never injured or if we fast-forward to him completely healed, do you think that moments like that would still happen? Or am I just really reading too much into the fic and making up this aspect of it? Hope that makes sense - I just love your characterization of Eddie and I want to make sure I’m understanding as much as I can!

I actually haven’t written about this before, and I think that it’s a good thing that I take the time to meditate on it now, because I don’t want the idea that throwing things at your romantic partner is, like, a good thing.

So a lot of my thoughts on Eddie’s aggression derive from two specific aspects of his portrayal. The first (chronologically in Eddie’s timeline) is the portrayal of Eddie as high-strung, snappy, and verbally combative in IT Chapter One (2017).  Within the last year and a half I saw a post that pointed out that some of Eddie’s aggression--especially in interacting with Richie--probably derives from the high-stress situations of a) being hunted by an alien clown demon and b) being abused at home. I had a college professor discussing a history and trauma class point out that, “Traumatized people don’t always behave well.” There are the usual caveats that explanations are not excuses; however, I think that the constant knowledge that he has to return to Sonia’s house and the persistent alarms telling him when he has to take medication, so that even when he’s apart from her he can’t get away from her interference, means that Eddie’s under high pressure. And then you get to the point where all of the children in Derry are being hunted by an actual monster, and it’s a wonder that Eddie behaves as well as he does, because I certainly wouldn’t.

I usually like to incorporate some of book!Eddie’s dreamy introspection into his internal narrative in Indelicate, and I think that some of his pressures are relaxing now that he’s a) no longer living in a house with Sonia, b) acting specifically in ways that maximize his own agency (going where he wants with whom he wants, eating what he wants, actively rejecting much of her influence). However, he’s still got a lot on his plate, and some habits die hard. This is why I have moments of Eddie waiting with the perfect snappy comeback on his tongue, and then stopping himself because he knows it’s something he doesn’t mean. He doesn’t actually want Richie to never talk again, he loves it when Richie talks, and he’s struggling towards sincerity. I personally have a lot of difficulty letting go of the put-down jokes in favor of being sincere with the people I love, so I thought I’d give Eddie several moments of consciously choosing to be honest and kind with Richie.

The second influence on Eddie’s relationship to physically “lashing out” is his introductory scene from IT (1986), where he’s leaving home and Myra is chasing after him demanding explanations and wailing about how terrified she is. I know that there are lots of analyses of this scene and thoughts on Myra versus Sonia, and I’m not interested in those right now; however, what caught my eye was that Eddie sees Myra’s distress and his first thought is something along the lines of “you might as well hit her”--not that he wants to hit her and he has nothing to lose, but that his causing her emotional distress is as bad as physically abusing his wife. (I can’t recall at the moment whether Eddie’s section comes before or after Bev’s introduction, but I want to say that it’s before, and I don’t think that it’s a coincidence that Bev and Eddie’s very different home lives are contrasted.)

So I thought, that as a boy child without a father, raised and abused by his single mother--and considering his issues with (as I write it) suppressed gay feelings, and the sort of “glass closet” I write him with--Eddie’s concepts of masculinity are probably pretty toxic. I think that in order to maintain control over Eddie, Sonia probably got very emotionally manipulative when he resisted her at all, especially as he got older and taller and physically stronger than her, and that she probably cried out things like “Eddie, you’re hurting me, how can you hurt your mother like this?” and made Eddie feel like the abuser (which is, I’m given to understand, a frequent tactic of abusers: reversing the roles to make the victim feel apologetic and guilty). I’m specifically thinking of the way that Gillian Flynn writes manipulative white women who weaponize white women’s fragility--Adora in Sharp Objects, since that’s actually the only Gillian Flynn book I’ve read so far. I think that Eddie would be very conscious of what he perceives as his capacity to be an aggressor, and it would be one more way that Sonia could keep him docile.

Later, with Myra--and I’m writing Myra more sympathetically in Indelicate than I did in Things That Happen After Eddie Lives, so I’m not interested in getting into the “is Myra abusive?” conversation right now, because I’ve written her both ways--I think that Eddie likely had a sort of learned helplessness about his own agency with Sonia that he then transferred onto his relationship with Myra. In Indelicate, I write him with a lot of reluctance to volunteer any information towards her, or his emotional state, or to make any of his wishes known (frequently she shoots them down as too extravagant, the way that I talked about Eddie’s relationship to money and luxury and Myra refusing a larger bed).

I write Eddie as largely unaware of his attraction to men until his near-death-experience, but only because he did not allow himself to connect the dots between what he thought of as physical symptoms (tunnel vision on hot man in coffee shop = optic nerve impairment, see doctor); but I think that Eddie was profoundly aware of his unhappiness in his marriage and just tried to reason with himself that everyone felt like that, and everyone was miserable and suppressing their own wants and needs, because that’s just what marriage is, and any other approach to his marriage would make him abusive, so Eddie and Myra’s marriage was emotionally volatile and extremely stressful.

Which is to say that Indelicate Eddie is a powder keg when Richie gets to him.

Again, I don’t think that throwing things at your romantic partner is an acceptable mode of interaction and I don’t want any readers to get the idea that that’s the underlying message of Indelicate, because it’s not. The scene with the moisturizer is derived from something that happened to me years ago (I was Richie, the guy I had a crush on was Eddie) involving a wayward Frisbee; the scene where Eddie tries and fails to throw a drink at Richie is derived from an anecdote of the early days of my parents’ marriage (my mother was Eddie), one that my father’s coworkers and boss loved to talk about and his best friend still brings up when they hang out.

However, Eddie’s relationship to physicality is also deeply informed by a tumblr post I saw over a year ago that talked about how Eddie grew up being told that he was fragile and delicate and sickly, and how Richie did not give a shit about any of that and was more than willing to just grapple him. For this fic, I decided to lean into that idea: that Eddie longs to be treated as though he’s solid and healthy and strong, and he finds a lot of relief in Richie <i>not</i> treating him gently. But because Eddie is actually physically injured in Indelicate, Richie is being careful not to break him while also dealing with Eddie’s very real (and largely unvoiced) desire for physical contact. It’s not an accident that at the end of the chapter in which Richie and Eddie have a shouting match that Richie wrestles Eddie to the floor and pins him and blows a raspberry on his belly--which is incredibly juvenile at the same time that it’s a display of Richie’s physical capabilities and Eddie finds that bizarrely attractive.

So, on top of Eddie’s desire for physical contact, his extreme stressors, and his lifetime of maladaptive coping mechanisms--the other thing that I consider when I write his dynamic with Richie is that Richie is not physically intimidated by Eddie at all. This is not because Richie is stronger than Eddie (he is) or larger than Eddie (he is). This is because there was a time in which Richie and Eddie found it perfectly acceptable to grapple each other as a form of interactions, because Richie and Eddie have known each other since they were seven years old. I even like to think that at one point, Eddie was the taller of the two, because Richie hit a really ridiculous growth spurt somewhere around the start of puberty and Eddie was something of a “late-bloomer,” and Eddie silently seethed about it through their entire adolescence.

So when Richie and Eddie lash out at each other--largely Eddie, because I think Richie, with his fear of the werewolf and of losing control and hurting someone--they’re building on sort of a lifetime of informal physicality. Stitchy does something similar in their Richie/Eddie fic where elements of roleplay always appear in their romance, because they were kids who played pretend games together, and when you have a bond like that with someone, it does permanently shape what sort of interaction you do and do not find acceptable. I also included a flashback into childhood where Richie gets angry with Eddie and very deliberately and methodically pushes him down on the ground and Eddie cries, not because Richie physically hurt him (he didn’t), but because it wasn’t in good fun there, that was Richie deciding to throw him around because he knew it would upset him.

So there’s a lot going into Eddie’s physically aggressive responses in Indelicate--the toxic masculinity that dictates the way that men are allowed to express anger and the ways in which they are allowed to touch each other; the profound stress that Eddie has endured for his whole lifetime without getting many better coping mechanisms; the feeling of lack of control of his physical body; a regression to childhood habits; and a deep sense of relief that Richie (being big, strong, and a man) is not vulnerable to him in the way that Sonia convinced him she (and later Myra) were.

I hmm’d and haww’d over a scene in the most recent chapter in which Eddie strikes Richie with an open hand (it’s a little slap on the chest, and I wanted it to come across very like the sort of corrective smack to the back of the head that I can imagine any of the Losers issuing to Richie back in 1989 when he shoots off at the mouth), because that’s not something I’d be comfortable doing to a romantic partner myself. Richie thinks nothing of it and turns it into a dirty joke, but I do need to get more into Eddie’s decision to touch Richie in kind ways in direct refusal of that “you construct intricate rituals that allow you to touch other men” facet of toxic masculinity.

I know it’s a ridiculously long answer, but it’s a serious issue and I wanted to give it the greatest possible consideration instead of writing something flip. Because both the incidents you named (ones I didn’t even realize formed a pattern, to be honest) are drawn from real life, I can’t say that they’re moments that are influenced by Eddie’s physical disability, but I do think they’re more influenced by his emotional state. I also think that as some of his stressors come off his plate and he gets more comfortable having an adult relationship with Richie, he’s going to stop throwing things at him. I even had Eddie stop after throwing the water, not just because it was ridiculous but because he realized how out of line he was in that moment. Recognizing when you’re out of control in an argument is, I find, an important part of self-improvement; and learning to walk away or to reset is a valuable skill.

Thank you so much for reading!