#Episode 11 freaked me out so much

[sharp-tooths]

Me watching the og Trigun anime after starting trigun stampede 2 moths ago: oh gee those fucking cries sound so realistic and full of pain and hurt. You just dont get that kind of genuine quality very much in newer animes. I hope Stampede delivers the same quality

Me now, having just watched episode 11 and then rewatched it just to propperly process everything: SCREAMING AND CRYING THROWING UP KICKING MY LEGS SOBBING FUCKING BAWLING MY EYES OUT DYING VIOLENTLY SHAKING-

[bitchesgetriches]

Everything You Need to Know about How to Increase Your Income

Make more money at the job you have

One of the simplest ways to increase your income is to just make your current employer pay you more. But while it may be simple, it ain’t always easy.

Santa Isn’t Coming and Neither Is Your Promotion: How To Get Promoted

How I Chessmastered Myself Into a Promotion at Work

The First Time I Asked for a Raise

You Need To Ask for a Fucking Raise

Ask the Bitches: “Can I Quit With Unvested Funds? Or Am I Walking Away From Too Much Money?” 

The Ultimate Guide to Growing Your Salary

Make more money at your next job

All that said, you’re statistically more likely to increase your income faster by job hopping! So if your current employer doesn’t want to pay you more, leave that sinking ship behind in pursuit of a higher salary.

Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty by the Numbers

The Fascinating Results of Our Job Hopping vs. Career Loyalty Poll

How NOT to Determine Your Salary

When It Comes to Salary Negotiations, Are You Asking for Enough?

What To Do When You’re Asked About Your Salary Requirements in a Job Interview

If Your Employer Refuses To Negotiate Salary, Try These 11 Creative Counteroffers

Season 4, Episode 9: “I’m on the Wrong Career Path. How Do I Convince a New Industry To Take a Chance on Me?” 

Invest your way to more money

Of course there are some who say the true path to wealth is passive income: when you stop working for your money and instead let your money work for you. And they’re not wrong! Here’s how we recommend you increase your income passively.

When Money in the Bank Is a Bad Thing: Understanding Inflation and Depreciation

Investing Deathmatch: Investing in the Stock Market vs. Just… Not 

What’s the REAL Rate of Return on the Stock Market?

Dafuq Is a Retirement Plan and Why Do You Need One? 

Procrastinating on Opening a Retirement Account? Here’s 3 Ways That’ll Fuck You Over.

Season 4, Episode 1: “Index Funds Include Unethical Companies. Can I Still Invest in Them, or Does That Make Me a Monster?” 

Small Business Investing: A Kinder, Gentler Alternative to the Stock Market 

The Dark Magic of Financial Horcruxes: How and Why to Diversify Your Assets 

Make more money through side hustles

When it comes to side hustles, we have traditionally advocated caution. The last thing you want to do is burn out in pursuit of a second income stream. But with enough wits and fortitude, a side hustle could help you increase your income by leaps and bounds.

Romanticizing the Side Hustle: When 1 Job Isn’t Enough

Season 2, Episode 9: “I Use My Free Time to Volunteer. Should I Focus on Making Money Instead?”

Stop Undervaluing Your Freelance Work, You Darling Fool

Freelancer, Protect Thyself… With a Fair Contract 

Season 4, Episode 10: “I’m a Freelance Artist. How Do I Price My Work Fairly Without Losing Clients?”

Ask the Bitches: My Boss Won’t Give Me a Contract and I’m Freaking Out 

“Independent Contractor” My Ass: How to Stop Wage Theft Through Worker Misclassification 

Becoming a Millennial Entrepreneur (In the Midst of a Pandemic) With Katelyn Magnuson 

11 Awful Mistakes I Made as a Self-employed Freelancer, and How You Can Avoid Them

The Magic of Unclaimed Property: How I Made $1,900 in 10 Minutes by Being a Disorganized Mess

I Am a Craigslist Samurai and so Can You: How to Sell Used Stuff Online

What to do when you make more money

Once you increase your income, you might find yourself… not quite bored, but finding you have a little more bandwidth to handle the stuff that matters. It can be a jarring transition! Here are our thoughts on the matter.

Season 3, Episode 7: “I’m Finished With the Basic Shit. What Are the Advanced Financial Steps That Only Rich People Know?” 

Season 3, Episode 4: “The More Money I Save, the More I’m Scared To Lose It. Can I Break the Cycle of Financial Anxiety?” 

How to Avoid Lifestyle Inflation … and When to Embrace It

Ask the Bitches: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed

Update: I Know How to Struggle and Fight, but I Don’t Know How to Succeed 

The FIRE Movement, Explained 

I Was Happy to Marry a Poor Man. Then Things Changed.

I Have Become the Rich Relative I Always Wanted 

Believing in Miracles: A Conversation with Chris Dane Owens on Money, Creativity, and Self-Funding Art 

I Now Make More Money Than My Husband, and It’s Great for Our Marriage 

Season 2, Episode 1: “I’m Financially Stable, but My Friends Aren’t. The Guilt Is Crushing!”

The Resignation Checklist: 25 Sneaky Ways To Bleed Your Employer Dry Before Quitting

Advocate for systemic change

We don’t endorse an attitude of “I got mine.” So once you increase your income, there are lots of ways to use your newfound financial breathing room for good! Lift as you climb, my friend. Here are a few ways to do so:

Wallet Activism: Using Your Money for Good with Author Tanja Hester 

Woke at Work: How to Inject Your Values into Your Boring, Lame-Ass Job 

Raising the Minimum Wage Would Make All Our Lives Better

Post a Salary Range in the Job Description, You Fucking Cowards

1 Easy Way All Allies Can Help Close the Gender and Racial Pay Gap

The Truth About Unions: What Has Organized Labor Done for You? 

How To Support a Labor Strike with 3 Simple Steps

Everything in moderation

One last thing, my lambs: don’t crush your spirit while chasing the goal of a higher income. Working hard is hard work. If you find these tactics are leaving you exhausted and demoralized, you might be on the road to burnout. And that road leads nowhere good!

That’s why we just released our glorious new Burnout Workshop. Click the button below to take a peek!

Get the Burnout Workshop Here!

[ratboyvince]

The Magnus Protocol - Glitch theory

In light of the current theory/assumption that in The Magnus Protocol, the audio glitches when the characters lie, I’ve been re listening!! And I’m going to be using this post and others to explore what this means for our beloved characters

The glitches aren’t on the transcript, sometimes there will be a direction like (uncertain) or (unconvincing), but thats the best i can do you for, otherwise you will have to take my word

First though, quick clarifications: what exactly is a lie in this context? - this is fairly obvious but i am including it for the avoidance of any doubt what i have gathered is that, in this theory we are assuming a lie is a character saying something they KNOW is not true in attempt to wilfully deceive someone

It is NOT:

A joke, or sarcasm

Believing something but being wrong

Finally, a lot of the lies i have so far are ones that are known to known to be untrue, what i will do is have a list of the blatant lies SO FAR to make my point, to work as support for the theory on this post then leave out any following ones to avoid making it excessively long.

The rest of them will be under the cut and more on a thread, sorted by episode. If i miss any, feel free to say!!

BLATANT LIES (theory support)

1.

Teddy: Colin was just saying how much of a BLAST he’s having (GLITCH) isn’t that right?

Lena: oh really.

Colin: Aye, sure (GLITCH)

Teddy: And how he’d love to take the after party to the Pub (GLITCH)

2.

Gwen: Sam? You okay?

Sam: um. Yeah. (GLITCH)

3.

Sam: cinnamon swirl. Please. (GLITCH)

4.

Gwen: Wait. Did you get me a coffee?

Sam: yeah. (GLITCH)

5.

Celia: Sorry, sorry, there was an emergency at home (GLITCH)

EPISODES 1-11 (where applicable) UNDER THE CUT

Episode 1

Teddy: Nahh, we’ll stay in touch, right?

Alice: Course…(GLITCH)

Alice either did not intend to keep in touch with Teddy, or genuinely just does not believe they will.

* saying she’ll miss him was NOT a lie, so it’s probably the latter

Episode 3

Sam: right, right i get it. Consider me *scared straight* (GLITCH)

He wasn’t taking Alice seriously, underestimating how serious it actually was (maybe even as light payback for her not taking him seriously)

Episode 5

Lena: I am certain that if he finds his current assignment unmanageable he can request assistance (GLITCH) or resign, of course…

She knows what the deal is with Central IT (whatever “the deal” may be), and just refuses to help. Maybe even sets up a little hostility between Lena and Colin?

Episode 7

Alice: listen, if you need to step out for some air-

Celia: no, I’m fine, really (GLITCH)

Celia was infact, not fine, probably because she recognised Chester’s voice as Jon “The Archivist” Sims himself and she’s freaked out

Episode 8

Gertrude: well I’m…sorry, but I don’t think gerry can help you. (GLITCH)

—

Gerry: -And then i left

Sam: and that’s all?

Gerry: Yeah I’m afraid so! (GLITCH)

Gertrude and Gerry know more than they’re letting on, and intentionally not sharing.

*Gerry not remembering most of it being true, means that while he’s probably leaving something out, there’s more he genuinely is lost on

Sam: I…may have given you a quick google

Celia: then…yeah. I’m doing a favour for Georgie. (GLITCH)

She Is Not Doing A Favour For Georgie - the research (teleportation, time travel, different universes) is more personal!

Episode 11

Sam: you keep glancing at the door

Alice: ah. It’s nothing (GLITCH)

—

Alice: it’ll be nothing! I’m just jumpy (GLITCH)

Alice is dismissing her anxiety following the trip to the institute.

Alice: “What have I told you about thinking?“

Sam: “Don’t.”

Alice: “That’s right.” (GLITCH)

Probably meaning that Alice is starting to doubt her own ideas, but is just pushing that uncertainty away because that’s what she does and she’s still more comfortable in ignorance, even if she doesn’t think it’s exactly RIGHT to ignore.

[prismatoxic]

cause I need to hear more of your sweet thoughts bout those two freaks, favorite laichil moments that have been stewing in the back of the mind?

oh gosh ummmmm

well now that episode 11 is out i am so very deeply fond of laios's visual pan from kensuke to chilchuck's dawning, rage-filled horror at what's happened

i think the swearing was better in the manga--not because the anime let him say actual words (bc i think that's awesome) but bc in the manga i thought they were still running while chilchuck was doing this. good visual

OF COURSE THE BEST EPISODE 11 CHILAIOS MOMENT... TO ME... is when chilchuck tells laios they're going to have a Talk later

the dub delivery kind of disappointed me (as it always does) BUT IN THE SUB the way laios immediately agrees is so very much, to me, a "yes sir" moment. and if you read my fic you know i'm very into this

i have a lot of little canon moments that i'm super fond of and am very excited to see in the anime... my faves are often when chilchuck is being a hostile little goblin but i'm so fucking excited about what i assume will be episode 13. you know. because

um

okay i have a lot of thoughts actually (MANGA SPOILERS I'M SERIOUS)

so. chapter 30.

chilchuck goes to get the party's supplies from where they were abandoned in the house they had dinner with falin at, having his own character arc along the way. we have seen him try to convince both leed and senshi that the smartest thing to do will be to lie to laios and marcille so they can return to the surface. trying to continue in this state will kill them, but neither of them will rest if they think they can still find falin. neither senshi nor leed agree with chilchuck's plan, and leed insinuates he's a coward. chilchuck stays firm. even after he's clearly pushed off kilter by leed saying he should just tell the truth, we don't have any concrete reason to think he will.

then they return and senshi is struggling to keep a now-awake laios down. laios is wounded and weak and senshi is a dwarf but laios is so deeply, fervently determined to get falin back that he's very hard to stop.

chilchuck, by contrast, is not strong at all, but somehow his added presence gets laios to sit back down. chilchuck rests a hand on laios's shoulder and even before he says anything, laios is looking at him. he knows something is coming. i think he resents chilchuck for it, too--the implication that there's anything to be said here.

we don't know at this point what chilchuck intends to say. senshi still thinks he wants to lie and intends to stop him, but i think it's clear in this moment that chilchuck has changed his mind.

he kneels--proud, all-too-aware of "how his people are treated for their size" chilchuck kneels between laios's legs. and i'm not pointing this out for horny reasons, for once.

he's bringing himself closer to laios--assuming a position associated with pleading and willingly making himself not the authority in this interaction. he believes, wholeheartedly, in what he wants to do and what needs to be said, but...

he also knows laios is hurting.

laios is... devastated. he's terrified. he's angry. but he's also still laios, and he knows chilchuck, insofar as chilchuck has allowed him to. he also respects chilchuck. so this--a teary-eyed plea to do what goes against everything he feels--gives him pause. chilchuck does not beg, and he does not cry.

...and he never talks about how he feels.

but he does, here: he doesn't want to lose his friends. and he does mean all of them, senshi included. he has three people to think of--three people whose lives he cannot in good conscience allow to be put at risk any more than they already have been. even so, he acknowledges that however laios feels about falin is probably incomparable.

but he tries to give laios hope--he gives him a plan of action. he says we will come back. he tries to impress upon laios that this isn't defeat and it isn't surrender, it's being safe. it's giving themselves an actual fighting chance at getting falin back.

laios doesn't want to... but he also doesn't say that. all the things he's feeling haven't gone away, but he's also aware of just how big this situation is if chilchuck opened himself up this way. chilchuck does not and never has done this. up until the fight with the red dragon, you could be forgiven for assuming chilchuck is just a contracted coworker who's a little fond of the party and nothing more.

senshi and leed, the only people who knew chilchuck's plan to lie to the others, don't openly acknowledge his change of heart... but they back him up. they pitch in to push laios just a little further, to get him to agree.

and it works.

so. um. episode 13 will be good i think

[expectiations]

My neurons randomly zipping around. I've seen people comment that Amy and River have this stilted relationship. That Amy is always called by River with a stiff and formal "mother". But! keep in mind that just like how a huge part of the Doctor and River's relationship plays out off screen, the same goes for Amy and Rory and River's relationships. Saying River calls her "mother" only is not entirely true anyway since in The Wedding of River Song, we see her call Amy "mummy".

I think the reason why people think Amy and River's relationship is stilted is because they only refer to their dynamic in The Angels Take Manhattan. Which was the reason why my brain suddenly starts yapping again lol. But I'd like to point out that a few episodes earlier, we saw Amy and Rory's almost divorce (still hurts me to this day). And I think it has mostly been forgotten that it's not just Amy and Rory anymore, you know (glares at writers). River would have been affected by their fallout. River would have been so guilty over their almost divorce. River, who, as Mels, pushed them together because it wouldn't be a universe worth living in if Amy and Rory weren't together. Because it would always be Amy and Rory. Together. Always.

"But, Tia, she did that to ensure her own existence!" Nuh uh! Nuh uh. Nuh uh, my beloved idiot. While there will be people who'll argue that River and Mels are different, I scoff at that notion. Sure, they look different. Sure, their mannerisms may differ a bit. But they're still the same person! It's like that argument that 12 loved River more than 11 lol don't talk to me. They're the same person, dude.

Anyways, point in case is Mels/River/Melody loves her parents dearly. In Time of Angels/Flesh of Stone, she shows off for Amy. Not the Doctor. But Amy. And it worked, Amy's admiration clearly shows on her face. She always makes sure Amy is alright. She comforts Amy when the angel in her eye is taunting her. She makes that teleport thing work to save Amy. She makes sure Amy holds on tightly. In The Impossible Astronaut/Day of the Moon, she does the same. Always checking on Amy, holds her back when the Doctor is shot, tries to comfort her as she mourns the Doctor's "death". Idk man there's so much. It's all laid right there. In A Good Man Goes To War when she comforts Amy first before giving the Doctor what I like to call "The Talk". In The Wedding of River Song where Amy kept her own timey-wimey diary and brought out wine because there was a freak meteor which was her usual indicator that River would be coming around. That doesn't speak of stiff and stilted. To know someone at that kind of level.

Remember, darlings. Context is important. The dynamics between River, Amy, and Rory in The Angels Take Manhattan should be looked at in the context of the elder Ponds' near divorce. It doesn't mean that it represents the entirety of the dynamics of their relationship.

[quasi-normalcy]

Star Trek series rated by horniness (as rated by me, an asexual, so you know its objective):

Star Trek: The Original Series - what is there to say for the series that invented slashfic, fuck-or-die, and Thiess's theory of titillation in costuming? The universe is full of greased-up pecs and scantily clad women wondering what is this thing you call...love? It's easier to mention the episodes that *aren't* horny. 10/10, for how could it be otherwise?

Star Trek: The Animated Series - It's a Saturday morning cartoon series from the 70s, and yet... 3/10, for the surprising number of scantily clad muscular guys

Star Trek: The Next Generation - Oh, we *start* quite horny; Roddenberry is keen to let us know that the android has a penis in the second episode; but then Roddenberry dies, and by the final season even Troi is wearing a sensible duty uniform. 6/10 for Will Riker, though

Star Trek: Deep Space Nine - We've got Quark's, where the women are scantily clad, the holosuites are for fucking, and the waiters give themselves ear infections from doing too much oo-mox on themselves. We've got Jadzia Dax, who has three hundred years worth of sexcapades in two genders and will tell you about them at the drop of a hat. We've got Bashir and his sad blue balls for the first two seasons. We've got Klingons breaking each other's clavicles to initiate coitus. And we've got an enemy power led by the perpetual mind-melting gangbang that canonically is the Great Link. 9/10

Star Trek: Voyager - Weirdly conservative in its sexual politics. I mean, it goes out of its way to stick poor Jeri Ryan in that body condom, and there's a whole episode about space whales wanting to fuck the ship, and another one about Janeway wanting to fuck an Irishman, and *two* episodes about Pon Farr...actually, you know what? 6/10.

Star Trek: Enterprise - You know what, let me tell you about this series; this series is like a 14-year-old asexual boy boasting about his supposed sexual conquests in the hopes that it will endear him to the cool kids. It doesn't work; there's nothing genuine about it and everyone knows it; no matter how many innuendos he throws in, it's clear that there's no joy in it for him and he'd be happier if he could just go off and read comic books. Secretly, he wishes his friends still wanted to play with action figures. -1/10

Star Trek: Discovery - The show presents us with wall-to-wall gays who just...never seem to shtup each other. Like, I of all people know that sex doesn't define queerness, but...really? I guess maybe they're afraid of being less than wholesome? Anyways, 2/10 for that time that the Emperor went off to fuck a couple of Orions in the middle of a dangerous secret mission on the Klingon homeworld.

Star Trek: Picard - A series so sexless that it can't even show its main canonical couple enjoying each other's company for more than 5 seconds each season. And yet the chaste Jurati/Borg Queen pairing manages to be the hottest thing ever in the history of fiction. Anyway, I guess they technically had Agnes sleep with Rios in the first season, so 1/10.

Star Trek: Lower Decks - Oooh boy, we're at the heavy hitter now, my god. Completely, unashamedly horny. Gene Roddenberry *wishes* he could have done that orgy scene that people on Twitter were freaking out about. 11/10

Star Trek: Prodigy- They're *kids*. 0/10

Star Trek: Strange New Worlds - Not really a lot, surprisingly given their TOS pastiche. Still, we get some stuff with Spock. 3/10.

[dinkbear]

camp camp s5 e1 review (MAJOR SPOILERS!)

yea i thought it sucked

i just watched the new cc episode and i thought it was....not great

the pacing was very off, i feel like they had the potential to tell an emotionally complex story regarding max's feelings to returning to camp and seeing so much different, but that's difficult to do in 15 minutes, i feel like it could've worked better if it were even just 20 minutes. also, in "With Friends Like These" i thought max's new VA sounded practically the same as his old one, but in this episode he just sounds...off. again, a lot of the lines felt forced, when i hear this new guy i don't hear the little shit-stain max i just hear Some Guy™. i understand WHY they changed the va, but as a poc myself i genuinely could not care less if a white actor voices a poc character esp in an adult cartoon. it actually really brought me out of it when max was snapping at the obstacle course because it just felt like nothing, like i didn't care.

i. hate. CJ. i think he's unfunny, i don't like his design, i just...don't like him. hoping and praying that gwen stays and he LEAVES or there's some crazy twist or SOMETHING i just do NOT like him. also, why does he have the authority to deny the campers food??? is david not his boss??? DO SOMETHING BRO

david also felt off, i know that now he knows the campers better and he's had character development but he just seemed disingenuous

the bit with nikki freaking out over max possibly being mad had so much potential to be built on and have something done with it but it just...didn't. it was just that one line and that was it, i was excited for some crazy conflict that didn't happen.

i thought the thing with neil's clip on earring was hilarious and im sad that it'll probably only be in that one episode </3

UGGGGH they CAN tell heart-wrenching stories, they CAN expand on these characters emotionally, they CAN DO SO MUCH and they HAVE....but, for me, a big part of what made episodes like "The Order of the Sparrow" and "Parents' Day" so moving was that it was out of the formula. i LOVE LOVE LOVE shows that set themselves up as being episodic/formulaic/sitcom-y and then slowly introduce lore and show that the characters are 3-dimensional and have conflict, etc, etc. but in this episode and in "With Friends Like These," the emotional story-telling feels forced. it's not set up like its a regular camp camp episode where something unexpectedly emotional happens, its set up to be the unexpected thing...which makes it expected and lose its value. especially because, back when i was SUPER hyperfixated on this show like 4 years ago, post watching "Parents' Day" or "The Order of the Sparrow" or whatever, when i rewatched other episodes i saw more to these characters hidden in little aspects of their behavior or their reactions or their dialogue that was there the WHOLE TIME, but seemed like it was just a regular old episode where regular old things happen, but now it seems as though they are straying away from that and instead having the emotional development and storytelling be completely unsubtle and on the nose. i suppose it is the writers' choice and they have every right to do that even if i don't like it.

speaking of on-the-nose, i wasn't a fan of how they just flat out said "max is upset that things are different," in the episode he said how he didn't like that everything was changing over and over and over again. and like.....take "Parents' Day" for example, max was being an extra asshole to everyone subconsciously before realizing and admitting the real reason, which was great and how kids work (because remember, max is 11) but in this episode it was pretty much "GRRRRR EVERYONE IS DIFFERENT AND IM MAD ABOUT IT!!!!!" and i know it was supposed to be like 'well WHY is he so mad about it :o" which could've been good and interesting if there were...buildup...or anything...and not "This camp sucks, but you know what else sucks? Life out there. Family, school, a crumbling society?" and "You're just as lame as before, which is why you didn't have any friends back home to begin with." its just like....come on. was that REALLY the best way to get that across??? THEY CAN WRITE SUBTLY SO WHY DON'T THEY!?!?!?!?

i feel like there is SO MUCH potential to exploring max's emotions but they just seem to keep being unsubtle and on-the-nose about it, which an emotionally neglected kid would NOT be. we have to remember, they're kids. i feel like the earlier seasons did a great job of making that obvious- making them little rascals, oblivious to things, mischievous, full-of-energy, little devils, the line "I saw it on TV!" from s1 e4- but in these newer episodes its treated as though that aspect is not important (note: i have never rewatched s4 because i didn't like it, so i am not going off it for reference bc i barely remember anything that happened) max wouldn't know that he's upset with them changing because of how lonely it is, and i know he was supposed to be projecting but the dialogue felt so forced it didn't even feel like projecting it just felt like admitting. i don't expect the writers to have a phd in child psychology or something, but if they want max's emotional reactions to have power and be meaningful, i feel like they should be a CHILD'S emotions.

granted, this is all my opinion. i'm sure for the reasons i disliked the episode, someone really loved it for the same ones. i would give it a 3/10, but there was no jasper, so it gets a 0/10. very excited for the next episode, the post-credits trailer made it seem like it'll be good.

[luxury-nightmare]

inspired by nerdymixedpan on tiktok

Ranking Magnus fears by How likely I am to serve them/how freaked out I am by them (including the Extinction because I will never forget about my underrated king)

1, The Eye

How freaked out am I by it? 3/10. My sister will come barging into my room uninvited anyway so the fear of being watched doesn’t really freak me out.

How likely am I to serve it?

7/10. I listened to 200 episodes of gay people suffering. What do you think

2, The Lonely

5/10 the person who I took this idea from said it best. This is schrodinger's fear. Cause on one hand, I like being alone. I spend most of my time huddled up in my room. But on the other hand, the enjoyment mostly comes from being awful at social situations and accidentally hurting peoples feelings when I talk to them

8/10 I said it already. I already isolate myself give me the banish powers. Gentle voiced old man I’m coming for your crown.

3, The Spiral

5/10 not exactly. Honestly the thought of me being crazy is probably not my greatest fear, it’s more the system for mentally ill people. I once let a couple things slip and was taken to a mental hospital, and the only thing I could think is “is there something wrong with me?” which, in my humble opinion, is not something someone struggling with mental illness should be thinking in a place that’s supposed to help them

5/10 would I be a good spiral avatar? No. Would I leap at the chance? Absolutely. I wanna see door wife and fuckhands mcmike

4, The Stranger

6/10 I do not fuck with uncanny valley shit. 4/10 I am a theater kid, so this could be right up my alley, but all the avatars are glorified theater kids so I think I’ll pass

5, The Desolation

2/10 I was scared of fire as a kid, but that’s the extent of my fear towards it.

4/10 Fire is pretty, I like setting things on fire, and Agnes is hot (pun intended) but that’s pretty much it

6, The Corruption

5/10 sickness and illness freak me out, but I’m chill with bugs. 2/10 no

7, The Vast

6/10 I went through a huge nihilism phase in middle school so that would factor into it. Honestly having an astronomy class is not going to help with this. But lately it’s less “nothing matters” and more “nothing matters so you can fuck up as much as you need”

8/10 enjoy sky blue motherfuckers!

8, The Buried

6/10 honestly this is a new one. I like to be in small spaces, but I cannot handle caves. I think I can blame Pastra’s Ted the caver video and the lost johns cave episode for this. But also, if we think about The Buried as The Vast opposite and pulled from its more metaphorical aspects (I know the show doesn’t do this very often but bear with me) the fear that everyone depends on you and if you fuck up even slightly everyone will hate you forever? Yeah that’s me

4/10 has we ever met a buried avatar? I have no point of reference. Four out of ten

9, The Web

4/10 this is a tricky one. I’m chill with spiders but the manipulation part for me comes not from the fear that I’m being manipulated, more the fear that I’m being manipulative. That I’m tricking people into caring about me and doing what I want when I really just need to tough it out (would this feed into The Spiral? Not really, right?)

7/10 Spiders, killer aesthetic, breaking the fourth wall. Let me in.

10, The Flesh

9/10 no. No no. No no. No gross. Gross gross gross. Have you seen the episode where the guy hammers all the meat to his apartment and it’s starts to rot through the ceiling? Gross get it away from me.

0/10 no Jared I am not joining your cottagecore lesbian garden leave me alone

11, The Hunt

2/10 I feel like this one should freak me out more than it does. I live in the mountains, surrounded by wild animals, and I have terrible stamina. But honestly? It’s like Jon said. It’s natural. If I don’t bother them they don’t bother me.

3/10 I have terrible stamina. I would make a terrible hunt avatar

12, The Slaughter

5/10 I have strong feelings about war. But there less fear and more disgust, anger, and sadness.

2/10 although it would be nice to go apeshit once and a while, this is a hard no.

13, The Dark

1/10 dude I vibe with the dark. It doesn’t freak me out at all.

9/10 I am practically nocturnal. My sona is the embodiment of darkness incarnate. Hard yes. Give me the shadow powers

14, The End

6/10 honestly this feat comes from less from death itself and more what comes after, and my family’s reaction. The idea of nonexistence is terrifying and maybe there’s something worse. I watched a Scp video, I forgot the specific number, but it was an idea of what happens after death. Essentially, you stay conscious, but you cannot move, trapped in your own body feeling every slow pain of rot or cremation as your atoms split apart over millennium. So yeah, death itself is fine but everything after is scary

8/10 I’ve always had a fascination with death, not actual people dying, but the pomp and glamour we give death. Graveyards and funerals and death gods and all that jazz. Gothic stuff. Also The End is technically the only fear that can win in the long run. The End will come for us all.

15, The Extinction

7/10 Watch the news and you’ll understand what i mean. I was like 5 when I first learned about climate change and I promptly put that in a box in the back of my brain and tried to forget it ever existed.

10/10 dude this isn’t even about the killer aesthetic, this is just cause it’s criminally underrated. Extinction my fear I will be your avatar since no one else will be. Also dude it would be so easy, just send some random people inflammatory news articles, push some people into a hell dimension, and you’re done! Also if any of the other fears complete a ritual, that’s a whole ass free buffet!

TL:DR: Extinction is underrated and Hello jon. apologies for the deception, but i wanted to make sure you started reading, so i thought it best not to announce myself. I'm assuming youre alone; you always did prefer to read your statements in private. I wouldnt try to stop reading; there's every likelihood you'll just hurt your self. So just listen. Now, shall we turn the page and try again?

[jupiter049]

Rewatching 'The Bells Of Saint John' because Russel recommended doing it before seeing the finale,

some thoughts as I watch it:

"If he truly is mad, then this is his madness" when talking about Clara so true <3

Now that it's been pointed out to me, I can't unsee that the book Clara loves is written by Amy, and that Amy specifically intended to make the eleventh chapter the saddest one.

I love the borderline randomness of 11 choosing to go with the monks. Sometimes The Doctor just goes to random places and periods of time, he just likes doing that.

I like how casual the mystery of "the woman from the shop" is set-up, you probably wouldn't even notice the weirdness from it and even if you do then you won't remember it like 20 episodes ater once the reveal happens.

Now with 'The Devil's Chord' I very much believe that every time "I Am The Doctor" started playing 11 could hear it and got a boost of energy from it lmao.

The Doctor sending a message stating Clara is under his protection is a nice reminder that 12's "duty of care" didn't start with him lol.

11's own duty of care is extremely underrated imo. Literally getting Clara to bed, doing all the chores, guarding her house, etc. He is a complete fucking freak and the worst part is that Clara likes it and enables him on it.

It's funny how the joke about twitter aged perfectly but the reason Clara makes the joke aged quite poorly.

Clara thinking The Tardis was a kissing booth, oh they're so teenage romance coded.

I adore when they get into The Tardis and it's meant to look like one continuos shot showing as they go from ground into the plane. Great way to show how The Tardis going from one place to another must look from the perspective of the companions.

The Doctor talking about "the long way round" while Clara is sat in front of him drinking a milkshake, these two can't do anything without making it a parallel.

Love the little moment of both of them fighting for the computer and then Clara telling him to go get coffee. Nice showcase of their dynamic in a small and casual way to later contrast it by showing how it works in a bigger and more extreme scenario.

"No, no, I didn't, I- Shut up!" you can see 12 slowly being shaped inside of him.

I honestly completely forgot The Great Intelligence was in this. Never really got the hype for it (or at least the hype the show has for it as I've never seen people talk about it that much), I guess it will make more sense once I inevitably watch 'The Abominable Snowmen'.

"Where's my mommy and daddy?" JESUS

I like how they establish Clara always had a natural sense for adventure, the only reason she didn't travel was that she doesn't try to escape from the people she cares about as she knows she has a responsability/devotion to them. It's a good way to explain both her natural liking for The Doctor but also to show why she doesn't instantly get completely addicted and sucked in into having adventures lol.

"You know, the thing about a time machine is that you can run away all you like and still be at home in time for tea" yeah no shit Clara developed an addiction, The Doctor borderline encouraged it. This really highlights what makes Clara stand-out from other companions which is that from the get go she tries to balance her 'normal' life with her life on the Tardis and doesn't try to drop one for the other, as long as she is back for tea time she has everything under control and can live both lives without worrying of sacrificing anything. Two lives, two halves, almost like she is some sort of Hybrid- [GUNSHOTS]

[st4rbe0m]

SUMMARY ▸ 20 years ago, a gruesome murder shook the town hard. A type of murder that should've never happen, much less in their quaint town. A lovely family killed in cold blood by an unforgiving axe wielding maniac - a mother, a father and a little girl. It's been 20 years down the road, hasn't it? Then why are these 10 teenagers stuck in a loop of the same day, being haunted by a little girl who died 20 years ago?

PAIRING ▸ Park Jongseong (Jay) x fem!reader ; additional pairings between characters as well , multi chapter story

TAG LIST ▸ open!! send an ask to be added

WC ▸ 3.1K

A/N ▸ new chapter anyone who reblogs one million hugs and kisses btw. looped moonstruck while writing this chapter. ALSO beach episode coming next chapter 😈

WOULD YOU LIKE TO CONTINUE THE BODY SEARCH ?

▊ yes -> CHAPTER 5

▊ no -> CHAPTER 3

BODY SEARCH MASTERLIST

“Yang Jungwon, you’re so dead.”

This was the last sentence that Nishimura Riki uttered before he was brutally mauled to death by a stray sports cart being pushed by the bloodied hands of a deadly little girl. 

10 hours before this, under the protective shade of the umbrella of their cafe table, were sat Uchinaga Aeri, Ning Yizhuo, and Y/N Y/L/N, each digging into their chosen sorbets and ice creams. It was Giselle’s idea, who insisted that building a friendship within these dire times was not a bad idea. Friendship was a strange concept to Y/N - simply because she had never been able to experience it fully. As fleeting it was in her childhood, it became non-existent in her teenage years. Honestly, if she thought about it - the last, true friend she had might be Jay himself, and that was when they were about 11 years old. Before middle school pulled them apart like magnet poles. And that was what she was in the midst of explaining to NingNing and Giselle, who felt pangs of guilt growing stronger in their heart as they heard her story. 

“It’s not that I even did anything bad, you know. I suppose that’s what made the whole situation disheartening for me. It was just one day that I had missed the school swim meet, and then a week after that because of a very nasty cold I had caught. But I guess my best friend at that time, Lee Naeun, decided it was the end of the road for us. Because when I returned to school after my break, everyone avoided me like the plague. Turns out, Naeun had told everyone the reason why I had skipped the meet because I loathed everyone, and that I’d told her everyday that I wished the very worst on our classmates. It didn’t help that I was already a very shy person. And she took advantage of that, I suppose. She knew I’d never be able to defend myself.”

Looking up from where she’d kept her head bent down, staring woefully into her sorbet while recounting her sob story, she met the eyes of both NingNing and Giselle, expecting the look of pity she’d been expecting. The sad, sad story of the school freak. Instead, she was surprised to see both wearing the same look of sadness, with Giselle even having a little mist in her eyes. Shocked by this slightly unexpected reaction, she opened her mouth again but this time the both spoke, clamoring with apologies. “I had no idea, Y/N. I’m so, so sorry. Even if there was no way of me knowing, I shouldn’t have believed the baseless gossip of the school as class president”, NingNing apologized shamefully. Giselle too, was heavy with regrets, and she clasped Y/N’s hand tightly as she spoke her own sorry’s. The heartfelt sorrows, as well as the loving and gentle touches and looks the two gave Y/N made her feel an ache in her - like something missing was suddenly returning to her. Something that she’d craved more than anything coming back to fix the pieces of her broken heart, the glue she needed. And it made her feel absolutely elated, to the point where small giggles began leaving her mouth, growing into full fledged laughter, which broke the trance NingNing and Giselle were under. Seeing her reaction, the pair began laughing themselves, and for a moment they could pretend to be normal teenagers again. Teenagers who weren’t playing death’s game every night. 

“Jungwon, let me be frank dude. What’s your deal?”asked Riki, nonchalant about how loaded his question was as he stuffed fries into his mouth, ignorant of Sunoo’s widening eyes or the stern glare Jay gave him. After seeing how his girlfriend had abandoned him at lunch to have a girls hangout, Heesung decided to ask the boys to join him for one of his own - for the power of friendship and stuff. Totally not because he missed his girlfriend. 

Jungwon, however, didn’t seem perturbed by the question at all, sporting a smile instead. “Well, you know how people peak in highschool, and some people become rich and own mansions and cars? Let’s just say, the guys who’ve made such a mark of my reputation won’t be laughing when they’re washing my sports cars.” 

His confident, albeit cocky and slightly goofy response had Jake choking on his milkshake and Sunghoon giving an amused smile as he continued to munch on his chicken tenders. “Leave Jungwon, let’s talk about something more important. Like how these three genuinely ordered off the kids’ menu. When Jay mentioned it, I thought he was kidding.”, said Sunoo with a sip of his own root beer, gesturing on the Dumb, Dumber and Dumbest - Jay, Sunghoon and Jake, the same order they were sitting in at the diner booth. “What’s wrong with the kids menu? Better food at half price, it’s a fucking steal”, said a pouty Jake as he made a deal out of eating his cheese fries. “Honestly, I didn’t think Sunghoon would be as bad as you guys. I always thought he was a serious guy.” This had the other two speaking up together, both ready with several examples of Sunghoon’s rather stupid moments. “Hey, hey, he didn’t ask for a testimony!”. “So are you back to school for good, then?”. Another loaded question, that had Sunghoon furrowing his brows. “Yeah, I am”, he said after a moment’s pause, looking directly into the eyes of his two best friends, who returned grateful smiles of their own. “Let’s leave the sentimental stuff and talk about what’s more important, like Lee Heesung, how did you, a loser, manage to pull Giselle?”, asked a teasing Jake, and thus began another round of bickering.

“I’m serious, I don’t like Jay!”, laughed NingNing, when she saw the unconvinced faces of Y/N and Giselle. “B-but you’ve attended all the practices! And you’ve been close to him for a while now, haven’t you?” spluttered a perturbed Giselle, who fancied herself quite the cupid. “Well, I have been attending practices and gotten close to him. Just not for the reason you all thought it to be.” “Then what? Is it someone else on the team you’re interested in?”, asked Y/N. When NingNing gave no reply, Y/N and Giselle broke into huge grins as they nudged the other girl who was smarting reddened ears and a docile smile. “You guys have to promise me this stays a girls’ secret, alright? No telling Heesung, okay Gi?”, said NingNing in a rather hushed tone. Moving their heads closer to hear NingNing better, and Giselle promising to keep the secret safe even from her boyfriend, NingNing hesitated for a bit before the name tumbled out of her mouth. “Park Sunghoon. I was attending their practice matches to see if he’d show. And I got close to Jay to ask him about how Sunghoon was doing. It’s not everyday your crush starts barely attending school and starts ignoring everyone. But I’m glad he’s back now.” said a shy NingNing, immediately covering her face to hide her furiously blushing cheeks. “Ayye, I’m sure you’re glad. Now if that little weirdo comes after you, you always have your Ice Prince to save you, don’t you?”, Giselle’s joke making Y/N laugh out loud and leaving NingNing in a mess, smacking Giselle’s arm in embarrassment. 

“Jay, come off it. Everyone sees the heart eyes you manage to make even in a life or death situation at Y/N.”, Heesung countered to the flustered Jay, who’s strawberry red ears weren’t helping his case at all. “Wait, dude what about Ning?” asked Jake, the name making Sunghoon pop his head out and ask, “Jay has a thing with NingNing?”. Sighing, with a self-important smirk, Heesung leaned back into the peachy orange seats of the diner to just say, “Oh you kids, just starting out with love, so unaware of your own feelings”, which just resulted with Jay chucking the crumpled plastic wrapper of a straw at his face. 

“Wait! This is brilliant Y/N!”, said an excited Giselle who turned to Y/N with hopeful eyes. “What?” “Well, now you and Jay can get together freely without any complications!”. This just made Y/N bite down a bit harshly into her sorbet accidentally, and rubbing her upper lip, she feigned ignorance as she asked, “What do you mean?”. “Oh come on, there’s no way you both don’t have something going on! He protects you and follows you around like a guard dog. It’s always ‘Y/N did this’ ‘Y/N be careful’ and ‘Y/N stay in my arms and be safe with me forever’”, which made Y/N smack Giselle over the table this time, looking to NingNing for any support, who just looked at the exchange with amusement and knowing. “Ning, don’t tell me you think this too?”, asked Y/N. “Well..” “Oh, you guys!” 

“Yeah, we knew each other as kids. Best friends in kindergarten, if that’s anything?”, said Jay who had been pressured by the rest of the group to spill his history. “Then I drifted apart from her, kinda. With basketball and whatnot”, Jay shamefully mumbled the last part, regretfully leaving behind his childhood friend obviously. “Well, she grew into her lonesome after that, didn’t she?”, asked Sunoo. “Yeah, but she shouldn’t have had to. I should’ve done something”, huffed out Jay, as he slumped in his seat. “Despite”, added Jungwon, “she’s been kind. She’s been kind to me when I’ve been picked on. I’ve seen her help the aging old librarian during lunch and offer him some of her leftover lunch.” Hearing about Y/N made Jay break into an unknowing grin, and the rest of the boys noticed this almost immediately, smiling knowingly within themselves. 

“Back when we were 11, our families went to an amusement water park. He sort of saved my life that day.” After cracking open to the girls about her crush on Jay, Y/N was in the midst of explaining when she realized she liked him. “Wait, so you’ve liked him that long?”, asked NingNing, surprised by the length of this ongoing infatuation. “Well, yes. There was this slide and there was a negligent lifeguard there. Honestly, I don’t remember much of it. I remember the guard almost hurt me in the water, and Jay had managed to find me and bring me away from the guard to my family.” “That’s really strange, why would a lifeguard hurt you?”, asked Giselle. “Yeah, honestly I don’t remember much. I don’t even know if he was a worker there or just some dangerous man who had slipped in unnoticed into the waterpark.” “Wait, so that means you guys are childhood sweethearts! Ah, how exciting!”, squealed a delighted NingNing, and as the topic of crushed changed courses to school to the future to just simple discussions, the next 3 hours were spent in merriment. Not only the girls, but even the boys could feel the time fly away like feathers with the way they all bonded. 

That was 10 hours ago. 10 hours after the smiling and teasing and jokes, standing in the empty broadcast room of their deserted school was Yang Jungwon, shuffling between CDs the music department had kept, all of them being either hymns or instructions. Finally, he managed to pull out a CD, the cover art faded away into almost nothing, but based on what it was, it seemed to be some sort of rock and roll music. Plugging it into the CD player and cranking up the speakers with no time to spare, Jungwon spoke into the mic, feedback whining as he yelled into the mic, “Are we freaking ready, gang? Let’s rock it”. He was sure his friends were laughing or groaning at his corniness, but he wouldn’t have had it any other way. Because it was the first time he was using the word friends in a sentence referring to himself. 

Riki and Y/N are in the sports room, and they’d made a sort of obstacle course out of the sports carts and the equipment. On the other side of the room were Sunghoon and NingNing, holding tennis racquets, ready to play offense. The group’s incentive for this night was the ground floor, and stationed in all the important rooms were members of their little crew - ready with every nuisance they could come up with to distract the little girl. The cherry on top, was what Giselle had provided them just before they began. 

“I remember the AV club’s president, my cousin, had mentioned something about walkie-talkies being somewhere in the school. So I, the great Uchinaga Giselle, have taken the liberty to find them and provide them to you all”, she said, as she dumped some possibly decade old walkie-talkies on the table, hands reaching out to grab one each, thanking Giselle or praising her for her quick thinking. 

Jungwon’s music choice was obnoxious, is what Riki thought when he saw the girl appear, her white fangs glinting in the light of the room. And immediately, the team sprung into action. Y/N, Sunghoon and Riki ready to combat the girl while NingNing frantically searched the room for any missing body parts. Though the girl seemed to possess immaculate speed and inhumane strength, the group managed to stall her long enough for NingNing to find a severed leg, and run like the wind away from the room, screaming into the walkie talkie of her discovery. And as the girl rammed the sports cart into Riki’s head last after stringing Y/N’s body, split in half by the ropes, and Sunghoon’s lifeless body laid out unceremoniously on the basketball court, they were glad about one thing - she was going down just as planned. 

“Ground floor, complete” Jay was putting X marks on all the rooms covered. Till now, the gang had uncovered the left forearm and the right foreleg. The rest of the parts were going to be concealed better no doubt. But they had a good feeling about this one. “Jungwon, I’m begging you man. Play better music. Just because we’re killing that insane ghost doesn’t mean you have to kill us with bad music”, groaned Jake. “Oh, I’m sorry, but would you rather listen to Christmas hymns? Because that’s what the school has” “It’s better than the nonsense you’re playing. The singer honestly sounds like a divorced alcoholic countryman.”, said Sunoo. 

The group parted ways, deciding to go their separate ways for a bit, Giselle and Heesung giggling as they went off to the park, and Jungwon, Jake and Riki in a heated discussion about their favorite shows and movies. Moving away from the table was Y/N as well, until a hand around her wrist stopped her. Turning around to see who it was, her pupils widened as she stared right into the chocolate brown of the one and only Jay. “Stick with me tonight, alright? I don’t want to see you strung up like a puppet again.” His tone may have been lighthearted, but the worry in the crease of his brow gave away his seriousness. “Sure Jay, thank you.”, said a beaming Y/N, absolutely over the moon with the way this was going. Sensing the end of her luck with him, she was ready to pull away, when she found that Jay was still clutching her hand, and was striding forward confidently, his hands dipping as his fingers folded themselves around the gaps of your own. Holding her hand in possibly the smoothest way possible, and throwing a charming smile her way that had a million butterflies erupt immediately in her gut, he asked, “Drop you to class?”. And only a fool would give up this offer. Shy smiles and intertwined fingers, the two went up to the class, both opting for the longer route unknowingly. 

“So, Y/N”, said Jay casually. “So, Jay”. The hand holding was still going unaddressed between the two, but it was better that way. Some things were left better off on their own, to linger in the air that seemed charged around both of them. Brushing a strand of her hair that had seemed to fall on to her forehead, looking at his face it was obvious he was struggling to say something. “You can say what you’re planning to say Jay”, said a teasing Y/N. Sombrely, he looked at Y/N, only hoping that the hand he was holding on to that made his arm feel like lead in nervous jitters, would stay when he was done. “I’m sorry.” “For what?”, asked Y/N simply, tilting her head slightly in confusion. “For not being a good friend. For leaving you behind. For not keeping in touch.” It seemed like the boy was not going to run out of reasons to apologize any time soon, and Y/N with a surge of boldness simply placed a finger of her free hand against the plush of his lips which were mid-movement, amused as she peered at his face. “Jay. It’s absolutely alright. My circumstances were not your fault at all, and I could have made an effort to reach out as well.” “But-” “No buts. I don’t blame you. And honestly, this whole game? It’s just made me more over the whole thing before.”. Smiling softly, she added another reassurance, just a little leap of faith. “Jay, you’ll always be the boy who saved me at the amusement park, alright? My knight in shining armor rather.” And with that simple statement, she dropped the finger on his lips and tugged the slightly stunned Jay along, both of them making their way down the hall with burning cheeks and fighting grins.

[lumisails]

Black Sails really changes everything, especially if you're a pirate fan. Which may sound obvious but what I mean is... I've always loved Pirates of The Caribbean so fucking much, some of my favorite movies of all time. And then today I... Was looking at this Jack Sparrow figure I have and it... Dawned on me. The whole thing about pirates being stories. Being portrayed as a stereotype of the actual people who lived through that era, people who were probably closer to what we see in Black Sails than what we see in PoTC... And yet, we grow up with these stories. "Stories they tell their children". Treasure Island is a children's book. Most of the stories that feature pirates are meant to be told to children. It's just...Insane how now, at 32, I'm presented with something that changed my entire view on something that has been with me ever since I was a kid. I can't even remember when I started going crazy about pirates?? It may have been bc of PoTC when I was like 11. But I know that I have watched Muppet's Treasure Island at a younger age and many of the things I watched growing up featured pirates in some episodes like Pokémon, Powerpuff Girls, Spongebob. Freaking Peter Pan and all of its adaptations.

And the same could be said to other types of figures that we mostly know stereotypes of. Fe, I am a Norse Pagan and I research and learn a lot about the ancient Norse people and they are very different from the stereotypical image we have of Vikings. And these are the examples I can think of rn because they are the ones that are most present in my life, but I'm pretty sure it goes beyond pirates and vikings.

And then, you can go beyond historical stuff. What about the way we see people who are not from the same culture as ours? Especially poc cultures. All we know are stories and said stories are often painted in a bad light. Sure, these people can advocate for themselves, but not everyone will do their research and try to learn what's beyond the stories.

This post definitely went way farther than where I first intended when I started it out lol. But I hope it all makes sense and that I don't sound completely insane. But at the end of the day, Black Sails changes the way you view the world itself.

[arlana-likes-to-write]

Lightning Bug - Chapter 18

Master list 

Warning: this chapter mentions self-harm and a depressive episode for our reader. Lots of angst. 

Word Count: 4.3k 

“Any changes?” Natasha asked her girlfriend as she walked into the kitchen, an empty bowl in her hands. 

“She ate better than yesterday,” she put the plate in the sink. “But she still hasn’t said a word.” It seemed to be the trend. The young girl stayed locked in her room since the car incident. That was 3 days ago. They feared that they were gonna have to get Helen involved because of her lack of eating but she began to eat what Wanda brought her. 

“I’m getting worried,” Kate said, playing with the spider-shaped necklace around her neck. It was a gift from Yelena when the couple first started dating. Yelena wore an arrow, similar to the one that Clint gifted Natasha. But the Black Widow was getting worried too. She even called Laura asking for advice. The mother of three gave the best advice she could, being a little out of her element since her three didn’t have powers. 

“She needs to work through this,” Natasha said. “And when she’s ready we’ll be here to catch her.” The whole tower seemed to be affected by it. But America seemed to have taken it the hardest, spending more time at the Sanctum and traveling the multiverse. The elevator opened and Maria walked out, holding a folder in her hand. “No,” Natasha found herself saying before Maria opened her mouth. The agent smiled. 

“I’m sorry but Fury asked for you and Wanda,” Natasha grabbed the folder out of her hand. It was nothing dangerous, just smooth talking with some politicians. She slammed the folder close, a little harder than she attended. 

“Have him send someone else?” Wanda took the folder from her. There was no way in hell she was leaving the tower. 

“Don’t you think I tried, Nat,” Maria opened the fridge and pulled out a beer. “We are stretched thin,” she popped open the beer and took a long sip. It was only 11:30 but Natasha saw the bags forming underneath her eyes. “I know things are tense but I don’t have a choice. 

“Sestra,” Natasha looked at Yelena. “We’ll make sure she’s okay.” There were times like this Natasha hated her job and envied Clint. She wished she had a house in the middle of nowhere with no missions or need to train. Her family was happy and safe on a few acres of land. But there was so much red in her ledger for her to stop now. 

“Fine,” she said. “We’ll do it but Fury owes me,” Maria smirked, chuckling. 

“That list keeps getting longer and longer. 

*

The world around you seems muted, muffled as if you were submerged underwater. Nothing was clear, everything sounded far off as you stared ahead. You had no energy to move from your bed. Every bone in your body ached and your head felt fuzzy. The only interaction you had was with Wanda bringing you food. The interaction was a loose way you’d describe it. Wanda did most of the talking, you weren’t even sure what she was saying. But you ate the food even though it tasted bitter so they wouldn’t worry. And you knew they were. You couldn’t pull yourself out of this pit you were in. Every Time you tried to crawl your way out you were pulled back in. It was an exhausting, endless cycle as your mind degraded you. Monster. Freak. Killer. Worthless. You believed every word. 

When your door opened you were sitting up, coloring on a piece of paper. It was the only thing that you could bring yourself to do. The music was too loud. Reading seemed too hard. And practicing Russian left your brain fried. You were expecting to see Wanda unsure of when the last time you saw the witch. But Natasha walked in with her girlfriend. “Hey dorogoy,” she said, sitting down on your bed. Your legs were crossed so she sat closer to you than expected. “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” Horrible. Bad. She smiled. Your throat was a little sore from disuse. Wanda chose to stand behind the Black Widow. You felt uneasy. Did they finally have enough of you? Were they here to kick you out? 

“That’s good!” Wanda said. You nodded. “Nat and I have to leave for a few days.”

“Fury is sending us on a quick assignment,” you frowned. They were leaving because of you. They didn’t want to deal with you. 

“Oh,” you said, looking back down. “How long will you be gone?” 

“2 days max,” Natasha said. You nodded. “Kate and Yelena will be here if you need anything,” you nodded again. “And we’ll be a phone call away, okay?” She added. 

“Okay,” you whispered, glancing up at them. “I’m sorry,” you looked back down. “I’m not sure where my head is.” 

“It’s okay,” Wanda assured you. “We’ll be here when it gets all sorted out.” They were about to leave but you called out to them. 

“Be safe,” you said. “Come back in one piece.” Natasha smiled. 

“Always,” the Black Widow closed your door behind them. You thought you’d be grateful for the silence, to be alone again. But it unsettled you, it scared you. Oh, how you wished you could be back in time and stop all this from happening. 

*

A shower was the first thing on your to-do list when your head felt less fuzzy. You didn’t realize how much it would help as the warm water washed over you. It made you feel human. You were walking out of your closet, dressed in fresh clothes, and drying your hair when it hit. It came out of nowhere. The feeling started in your legs, which was new. Your legs began to tingle and your feet cemented to the ground. The feeling traveled up to your stomach and chest where you felt warm. That fuzzy feeling returned in your head. Your muscles tensed up as the wave of electricity moved through your body. Every time you thought it was done it kept going and going. Finally, it stopped. Black spots appeared in front of your eyes and the metallic taste of your blood filled your mouth. You fell to the ground, unable to find the strength to keep yourself standing. A sheering pain ran through your head and the world went black. 

*

Steve was watching Bucky read. It was moments like this that he treasured. No mission. No meeting or training. No paperwork. Just quietness and the opportunity to admire the man he loved. Steve glanced at Bucky one more time before returning to his sketchbook. “Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes, Miss. Y/n fell and hit her hand. I’ve already alerted Dr. Cho.” Steve never jumped to his feet so fast and ran to Natasha’s floor. The elevator would take too long. He took three stairs and heard Bucky behind him. By the time Steve got to her door, his chest was heaving and he opened her bedroom door. He saw her, laying face down on her floor. A small pool of blood was forming near her head. “FRIDAY alert Yelena and tell her to get back to the tower.” Steve bent down to pick her up but Bucky placed a head on his shoulder. 

“She doesn’t like skin-to-skin contact,” he said. Steve pulled off a blanket from her bed and carefully picked her up, being mindful of not touching her skin. 

“Miss. Belova is on her way back,” the AI said. “Should I contact Miss. Romanoff and Miss. Maximoff?” 

“Negative, FRIDAY,” Bucky said, following Steve to the elevator. He looked at his boyfriend as the doors opened. “It’s probably better if one of us tells them and not an AI.” He was right. Steve looked at the unconscious girl in his arms and prayed to whoever God was listening that she would be okay. 

*

Yelena felt her heart in her throat as she rode the elevator to med bay. They left the tower for just a few hours to try to get America out of the fuck she was in. She didn’t regret leaving because it was nice to see her friend smile again but Yelena couldn’t help but feel guilty. The doors opened and she saw Steve, Bucky, and Sam waiting in the chairs outside a room. “What happened?” Yelena asked, walking over to them with her girlfriend close behind. Steve looked up. 

“We don’t know,” he said. “Helen is still doing her assessment. All FRIDAY said was she hit her head.” 

“It could be because she hasn't been eating,” Kate said. “She just may need some food and a good night's sleep.” Yelena heard the elevator door’s open and she saw Pepper and Tony walk over. A party was happening down here. 

“What happened?” The CEO asked. 

“We were just discussing that,” Yelena said, filling in the couple on what they missed. 

“FRIDAY, can you tell us what happened?” Tony asked the AI. It took a moment for FRIDAY to respond which Yelena thought was odd. 

“It appears that Miss. Y/n has undiagnosed epilepsy,” the AI said. “This is not the first incident to occur but she asked me to not notify you when an episode happened.” 

“Epilepsy?” Steve questioned, looking at Kate and Yelena for clarification. But the Black Widow was just as lost as everyone else. Helen came out of the room, gently closing the door behind her. 

“Is she alright?” Pepper was the first to ask. “I know epilepsy that goes untreated can cause brain damage. We -” 

“Time out,” Helena said, cutting the CEO off. “Epilepsy? Where are you getting that from?” 

“FRIDAY informed us she had epilepsy,” Bucky said. “And it wasn’t the first time she had an episode.” 

“She doesn't have epilepsy and she didn’t have a seizure although her symptoms mirror it.” The doctor explained. 

“Then what happened?” Yelena questioned. Helen sighed. 

“Steve and Bucky told me of her powers. Have any of you seen her use them?” A chorus of no and headshakes was the answer the doctor received. Before the incident with Pepper’s car, Yelena believed the teen would go a lot longer without telling everyone what she could do. “She is pulling energy from around her; the beating of our hearts or the existing electricity in the room. Energy can’t be created or destroyed but it can be converted. So she uses that energy and creates electricity,” she explained. “But that energy can’t stay in her body. It needs an outlet. Similar to when you blow into a balloon. Even when the balloon is inflated you can still blow air into it. Until it pops,” Yelena connected the dots in her head. “Electricity is the same way when it needs an outlet it will make one no matter who gets hurt in the process.” 

“She’s electrifying herself.” Yelena guessed. Helen nodded. 

“From the scans we took, she’s been doing it for some time and it’s causing damage to her hippocampus,” she told the group. Yelena knew that part of the brain was related to learning and memory. “Right now her vitals are stable but she’s still unconscious. You can visit her but only 2 at a time.” The group thanked the doctor and she returned to her other duties. 

“We need to call Nat and Wanda,” Tony said. He looked at the two super soldiers. “Are you two okay with taking their spot?” They nodded. 

“Of course,” Steve said. “Will you guys keep us updated?” 

“We will,” Pepper said. “Kate and Yelena, why don’t you two stay with her until Nat and Wanda get here?” 

“I’ll call them to tell them what’s going on,” Sam added. A plan was in motion and finally, it was just Kate and Yelena standing in the hallway. Instead of going into her room, Yelena sat down in the chair Steve was sitting in. She began to play with the rings on her fingers. Each one had a different story, a different reason why she wore them on her fingers. She was so lost in thought she didn’t notice Kate kneeling in front of her, placing her hands over hers. 

“My love,” Kate whispered. Yelena looked up staring into the blue eyes of her girlfriend. “She’s going to be okay.” 

“Natasha is going to kill me,” Yelena threw her head back with a sigh. “I told her we would look after her.” 

“These things happen, Lena,” Kate sat down next to her. “And Natasha will understand that.” Yelena nodded, allowing the silence to settle between the two. When she looked at her girlfriend, the archer was in deep thought. 

“What is it?” Yelena asked. 

“Do you want to draw straws on who tells America?” The Russian smiled. 

“I’ll leave that one to you, little hawk,” Kate rolled her eyes, kissing Yelena on the cheek. 

“Fine, anything for you.” 

*

“Remind me to kill Fury,” Natasha said as they rode the elevator. She was holding onto Wanda’s hand as a lifeline. When she saw Sam’s name appear on the caller ID, she knew something was wrong. They booked it back to the tower before they were off the phone with him. Wanda chuckled. 

“You're not gonna kill him. You're just upset.” 

“And you're not?” The Black Widow questioned. 

“I am,” Wanda said. “One of us has to be level-headed and not think about murdering the Director of SWORD.” Wanda hit her hip against Natasha. The small action pulled a light laugh out of the Russian. 

“You're right. Thank you, little witch,” the laugh was much needed as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. Immediately, Natasha saw her sister, sitting alone in the hallway. Not even the sound of the elevator pulled her out of her thoughts. She gave Wanda’s hand a tight squeeze before letting go and walking over to her sister. “Sestra.” 

“Natasha,” Yelena stood up. “I’m sorry. I told you she would be okay and I couldn’t keep my promise.” 

“Hey, hey,” Natasha put her hands on Yelena’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” she maneuvered Yelena back into the chair and sat down next to her. “This is not your fault okay?” Yelena nodded. 

“You are here now and that is what matters,” Wanda added. “Have you been in her room?” The blonde shook her head. 

“Cho only wants 2 people in at a time. She wants to speak with you two. I’ll go get her,” Natasha let her sister stand up and walk to find the doctor. She wasn’t ready for this. She felt like her feet were glued to the floor. But she dragged herself out of the chair and opened the door. The air left her lungs as she stared at the still form in the hospital bed. There was a nasal cannula around her face and Ekgs on her forehead. A small gauze was on the side of her head. It took another squeeze from Wanda to get her moving and sit in the empty chair. Wanda sat across from her. 

“She looks so peaceful,” the witch spoke, breaking the silence. Natasha agreed but she desperately wanted to see the striking color of her eyes to tell her everything was going to be okay. A gentle knock on the door drew her attention from the teen and Helen walked in. 

“Hi,” she said with a smile. “I’m guessing you’ve been filled in.” She stood at the foot of the bed, hands resting on the metal frame. Natasha shook her head. 

“We were just informed that she was hurt and came right away.” Helen nodded, her smile faltering slightly. Natasha listened as the doctor explained what happened. She had to admit that she was only catching every other word but she understood what occurred. Self-harm. An act she and those closest to her have gone through. 

“Can the damage be repaired?” Wanda asked. 

“I recommend introducing light exercises to her daily routine,” her eyes went to the girl. “But the most important thing is we need to stop her from continuing the behavior,” she sighed. “It’s impressive that she’s still doing okay.” 

“She’s strong,” Natasha whispered. 

“That she is,” Helen said. “Please come get me if you need anything or have any questions.” She left the couple. 

“You're right, you know,” the Black Widow looked at her girlfriend. “She’s strong so she’ll be okay.” 

“Let’s hope it’s enough.”

*

Kate found America in the kitchen making pasta. “Hey,” she said to the archer. “I figured everyone would have their hands full so I’m making dinner,” she scratched the back of her head. “I can’t promise it will be good.” Kate sat on the bar stool. 

“I’m sure it will be great,” America drained the pasta and moved the pasta back into the pot to add the sauce. 

“How is she ?” America finally asked, stirring the pasta and sauce together. 

“She’s stable. Her vitals are good but she hasn’t woken up yet,” America nodded, leaning on the counter. “She doesn’t have epilepsy like we initially thought.” America looked up suddenly. 

“What caused it?” So Kate explained it in the same way Helen told them. Somehow it was more heartbreaking as she watched her friend's face fall more and more. “Electrifying herself? I- I don’t understand. I thought she was doing better. Wasn’t she?” Her voice cracked at the end.

“She was,” Kate fully believed she was. Before the car incident, the girl now in med bay was completely different from the girl who first came to the tower. “Even though we are healing, people can regress. It’s not linear,” Kate has seen it first hand with Yelena. America nodded. “Can I ask you two things?” 

“Sure, doesn’t mean I’ll answer them,” America smirked. The archer rolled her eyes.  

“Why are you avoiding her?” The teen sighed, looking in the direction of Y/n’s room. 

“The last time I saw her I made her lose control because I wanted to fix everything,” she sighed. “But God Kate you should have seen the fear in her eyes. I don’t want to put her through that again. I can’t.” Kate understood that as she’s been in the same position as America. It was a simple mistake but Kate didn’t realize her girlfriend was stuck in a memory. She came up behind her for a hug and Yelena grabbed her wrist, flipping her over, and spraining her wrist. But the pain didn’t bother Kate; it was the fear in Yelena’s eyes that hurt more. It was in the beginning of their relationship so they were still learning about each other. Natasha had to pull Yelena out of her spiraling thoughts and got her to talk to the archer. 

“Do you like her?” Kate asked. “More than just a friend.” She added on quickly. A small smile grew on America’s face. 

“Am I that obvious?” Kate smiled, nodding her head. “Yeah, I do. There is something about her that I can’t describe. My stomach flips like I’m on a rollercoaster.”

“A little advice,” Kate said once America was done talking. “Don’t turn your back on her no matter how hard it gets,” she was listening with her full attention, feeding on every word the archer said. “Loving her will be difficult but so worth it.” 

“Speaking from experience?” America questioned. Kate heard the quiet footsteps of her girlfriend walking up behind her. 

“Yeah,” Yelena’s arm snaked around her waist and burrowed her head in the crock of her neck. “I am.” 

*

Pepper was lost in thought as she had music softly playing in the background. It was rare that the CEO let herself sit and not busy herself with Stark Industries. She couldn’t bring herself to tackle her growing to-do list. There was guilt making its home in her bones. “You're thinking very hard for someone who should be relaxing,” Tony said, handing her a mug and sitting down next to her. Pepper rested her back against his front. Immediately, he began to massage the tension out of her shoulders. “What’s got you thinking so hard?” 

“Just thinking about the past few days,” she said after a moment. Tony hummed. 

“You care about her, don’t you?” He asked. She took a sip, savoring the taste of spiked apple cider before resting it on the table. 

“Yes I do,” she said, turning to face her husband. “And I know you do too.” Tony turned her back to face forward and continued massaging. She had a big knot on her right shoulder that Tony focused on. 

“It’s her eyes,” Tony said. “Never have I seen such child-like wonder and sadness at the same time,” Pepper nodded. “I spoke with Banner and I think we can help her.” When she turned to face him, he didn’t stop her. “Cho said this happened because she’s not using her powers. I can guess she doesn't use them because she’s scared.” Pepper came to that conclusion as well. “So what if we create something where she can use her powers and do some good? It will kill2 birds with one stone, ya know? A safe and controlled way to use her powers and slowly change how she views them.” Pepper stared at him and then finally kissed him. 

“I think that’s a wonderful idea,” she said, picking up her drink. The CEO half expected Tony to run off to his lap to work on the new project but he stayed, lost in his thoughts and worlds away. “Now who is thinking too hard?” She teased, squeezing his leg. 

“Do you remember that dream I told you about before Strange came to us?” Of course, she did. She thought about it almost every single day. “Is it something you would want to do? You would be a great mom.” 

“Tony,” she said, slowly. She moved away from him slightly to look at him. 

“Tell me to stop,” he said. “Tell me to walk away from this,” he gestured to the tower. “And I will. I have that cabin upstate and we can raise our daughter.” 

“You can’t walk away,” she said. It was a pipe dream. She’s seen the incredibly stupid things he’s done as Iron Man in the name of saving others. 

“Why can’t I?” He questioned. Being with Tony, Pepper learned the man was 5 minutes away from a sarcastic comment. But as she stared into his eyes, it was the most serious Pepper had seen him. “Rogers can handle the team and if he doesn’t want it, Wilson isn’t a bad option. I’m serious, Pepper,” he laced his hand with hers. “Tell me to walk away and I will.” But she couldn’t tell him to walk away and have a normal life to raise their daughter. She couldn’t make that decision for him when he wasn’t just her husband and best friend. Iron Man was a beacon of hope for so many. It would be selfish of her to take him away. 

“I love you,” she said. “But I don’t think the world is ready to say goodbye to Iron Man.”

“Will it ever be?” He questioned. Pepper placed a hand on his cheek and he turned to kiss it. She drew circles against his skin. 

“I’m not sure,” she said. “But we’ll know when it is.” 

*

“Knock, knock,” Natasha looked up as the door opened and saw America, holding two bowls. “I come bearing food,” she whispered, noticing Wanda asleep in the chair. “I know Helen has a two-guest policy so I won’t be long.” Natasha took the bowls from the girl, whose eyes kept flickering to Y/n. 

“I can leave,” Natasha said, ready to give her spot up but America shook her head. 

“It’s okay. Can you just let me know when she wakes up?”

“You’ll be the first one on my list,” Natasha smiled. “Thank you for the food.” 

“Of course. Try to get some sleep too. Goodnight,” she waved, carefully closing the door behind her. It wasn’t long before the smell of food caused Wanda to wake up. 

“That smells good.” Natasha smiled, handing her the bowl. 

“America made it,” Natasha blew on the pasta before taking a bite. It was good, a little over-seasoned but she was grateful for any food. Wanda giggled. “What’s so funny?” She asked her girlfriend. 

“Nothing,” she waved her hand with the fork in it. “Have you ever seen America cook?” She was right. The most the teen had cooked was toast. “It’s just amazing how one stranger can change us.” 

“Is it a good change or a bad change?” Wanda smiled. 

“It’s good,” the witch said. Natasha looked at the teen, finding comfort in the steady rise and fall of her chest. She wondered if she was dreaming or did her mind offer her one dreamless sleep. Natasha smiled. 

“Do you ever wonder what hugging her would feel like?” Wanda nodded. 

“All the time,” she whispered. “I wonder when the last time she’s been hugged.” 

“Or if she’s been hugged at all,” Natasha mumbled, angrily twirling her pasta. It made her blood boil when she thought how unfair life has treated her. “We’ll ask her when she wakes up,” she looked at Wanda. “I think it will help her feel more like apart of this family.” 

“Yeah, I think that’s a great idea,” Natasha watched as Wanda reached into a bag on the floor and pulled out a book, she handed it to Natasha. It was the Outsiders. “She was reading it to you when you were hurt,” The Black Widow took the book and placed her bowl on her lap. “America says it’s her favorite.” 

“Is that so?” She opened the book to the first page. It was on the movies they made her watch in The Red Room, an American classic that was filled with their edited agenda. Kate and Peter made it her mission to show her and Yelena movies and TV shows that weren’t tainted by the Red Room. Natasha began to read, “When I stepped out into the bright sunlight from the darkness of the movie house, I only had two things on my mind; Paul Newman and a ride home…”

_

Taglist:    @aestruvx, @toouncreativeforausername, @modedddd, @julilamoment, @mythixmagic, @yourmamacom, @vicmc624, @cherlenovix, @liliesandrosies, @whitewidowsbite, @clintsbigtoe,  @blackbirdv98

[birdsandbeetlesandmoths]

This is entirely out of pocket for me but for context I watched the latest episode of BNHA. I- uhm, well, I initially didn’t care to watch the show anymore because I lost interest due to the fanbase and the pure hate I’d gotten after expressing enjoyment for it in the past.

My brother and my mother convinced me to watch S7 with them, and I did, and it was manageable to watch.

Up until episode 11. Spoilers for MHA/BNHA S7 under cut, this is most ramblings again but it awoke some dormant part of me who loved the show when I was younger and well yeah . .

Sooooo that episode right???

I think it might’ve changed me a bit. I’ve been generally very meh about the show/series for the better part of the last year, due to my dwindling interest in it and the absolute firestorm of fandom hate that drove me away.

But I’d been watching the season with my bro and mother, who I’d accidentally gotten hooked on the show nearly five years ago.

And while I did see it coming a bit with ep10, I don’t think it would’ve ever prepared me for (what I’m only assuming is permanent? I’m not knowledgeable of the manga past vol 30) Bakugo’s death.

The buildup was stunning. In comparison to many other seasons, especially the long haul of the latter half of season 6, the fight sequences in season 7 have been nothing short of spectacular. But the pure buildup to the moment of power, the music as well, the hope that is instilled in us as we watched him practically fly around to land his hits.

For context, I used to think Bakugo’s character was annoying as shit. Then again, as a preteen, it was very easy for me to hate on characters that were simply outwardly annoying. However, somewhere around season 5, I began to harbor a sympathy for him. He was far from my favorite character, but I began to enjoy his progress, his maturity, and seeing him onscreen more often.

I respected Bakugo. I understood his insecurities. My sympathy for him only strengthened.

His critical injury in season 6 (sorry if so much of what I say isn’t specific, I genuinely haven’t watched this show in a long freaking time/interacted with the media since 2022) had me freaked. I was worried for his character and I hadn’t read far enough in the manga to be able to determine whether he would be okay or not.

This time, I’m not sure he’s coming back to us. And I’m almost scared because I wasn’t exactly prepared for the single constant throughout the entirety of the series, Izuku’s rival but closest friend, to be gone within seconds.

And please, I’d like no manga spoilers in any rbs or comments.

Shigaraki saying that Bakugo was the closest person to Izuku was a line that made me pause and think. It made me suddenly flash back through all of the seasons and their relationship and their growth alongside each other. And holy shit it made me genuinely become invested in this guy’s slow but shocking character arc in this story.

It was a beautifully crafted thing and I haven’t felt so attached to a character that I didn’t know was a part of me in the first place, in a surprisingly long time.

So, in conclusion, Bakugo Katsuki is a really fucking interesting character. I was never all that about him, I respect and sympathize with him, and suddenly when he might be gone forever I realize how much I care about him. It’s odd how that happens, how this character can sneak up on me like that.

Anyways, I think this season alone is restoring my love for this story, for this show. The dark tone shift that Horikoshi took was one of the reasons why I loved it, and I think I’ve returned to that appreciation.

[prod-ddeonu]

TIGHTY WHITIES | p.js

episode 11: put my sneakers on!

pairing: college! Jay x fem! reader

CW/TW: enemies to lovers, smau, angst, fluff, smut, horrible comedy, slice of life, jay gets exposed BAD, kys jokes, assault, drinking, flirting hehe, NOT PROOFREAD!!, chef Jay, the note is a sort of vent and mentions death, skip to tl;dr if uncomfortable with those topics as it is important

synopsis: You and Park Jongseong have been enemies for years. Heck, the two of you grew up picking fights with each other. A hateful war of tricks and deceit turns from bad to worse, however, when you finally trump him. Nobody can come back from having a photo of themself in tighty whities sent to the entire school, right?

status: ongoing!

taglist: open! (fill out the google form to be added! your user should be tagged on the masterlist and the next chapter after you submit!)

wc: ~1.9k

You and your entire gaggle of friends were sitting around your apartment, save for Soobin nervously tidying up your counter for alcohol and setting the chairs neatly in the living room.

You laughed at the way he brought out your mini-duster from the pantry. "Soob," you called out. He turned to you with his brows creased. "You're freaking yourself out again."

He sighed and put the duster back down, rubbing the side of his face with his open palm. "I know, I know," he mumbled, "I'm just so scared of his friends not liking me."

"Soob," Keeho smiled happily, "If his friends love him, they'll trust that you're a good person and like you. It's how we feel about Heeseung, at least."

Soobin smiled even bigger and came to sit back down on the couch next to you. "Thank you, guys!" He hugged the two of you.

Beomgyu cleared his throat. "I'm here too, y'know," he jokingly rolled his eyes.

"I wish you weren't," Soobin joked back, opening his arms for Beomgyu to join the hug (which he did).

You sadly turned the TV on to play an old ITZY song. "I wish Chae and Yuna could have been here, they were so excited when you told us. They just had to have practice tonight."

"I know, but I'll take Heeseung to their comeback stage!" Soobin stood up and danced to the song. "I don't wanna take them away from making these good songs!"

You all stood up and began to have a small dance party together, easing your friend's nerves further before the doorbell rang.

It was around seven o'clock in the afternoon at this time, and the boisterous laughter outside told you that it was Jay's ensemble. "Late as usual," you tsked to yourself, swinging the door open with a big smile and holding your arms open to Heeseung.

He bent down and gave you a hug, confusedly, before standing up and greeting you. "Hi, you must be Y/N!"

"Yes, I am! You never figured that out after all the years of being friends with Jay?"

"No, I did, I just wanted to seem like we never laughed at Jay getting his ass handed to him everyday," he laughed. "You're much more welcoming than I thought, I honestly expected a box of snakes or something."

"No, of course not! This is a celebration, this isn't about Jay. And, plus, I only do that kind of stuff to Jay," you beamed, stepping to the side to allow them in.

They all introduced themselves as they walked in, and it shocked you how tall just all of them were.

Jungwon, the boy who seemed to have his wits together the most, pointed his thumb out the door as he began to speak to you. "Also, Jay is here, but he stopped and got some extra stuff for the party so he's trying to get it out of the car, if you were wondering."

You looked up and saw his form hunched into the backseat of his car, pulling out item after item. "I'll go help," you sighed.

You excused yourself from the apartment, going down the stairs and bouncing a little with every hop down.

"I didn't tell you to buy that much booze, Jay Park," you sighed with a small smile as he pulled out bags and boxes of alcohol.

He turned around with a smile, his hands on his hips in a mock defense. "I actually recall you saying to get lots of alcohol, Hwa Y/N."

As he faced you, you couldn't help but examine him. He wasn't in his usual all-black clothing, which took you by surprise. He was in jeans with a simple white tee and a light sweater, making him look softer and sweeter than the usual Jay. You had to admit, your enemy was very handsome and fashionable.

Jay felt your eyes on him as he spoke. He felt the way they checked him out. He couldn't be mad, though, because he'd done the same thing. The second he first turned around, his eyes were immediately oggling your own jean shorts and white tee, a dainty necklace around your neck. However, he could only notice the familiar jacket over your shoulders.

"You wore that jacket for me?" Jay asks, making it sound like more of a statement. He doesn't miss the way you get flustered as he laughs. "I actually bought food for all of us, too. I was gonna cook something so nobody got too sick in your apartment."

You reached into the car next to him, brushing your side against his and sending him into a flurry of warm cheeks and pounding heartbeats. He stepped to the side, giving you space.

You pulled back out with the bags of chicken and tteokbokki, holding them in your hands as Jay held the alcohol. The two of you made your way up to your apartment, stopping just outside the door.

"Jay, can I talk to you right here really quickly?"

He turned his head to you, putting the alcohol down outside the door as you put down the food. "Yeah, what's up?"

"I'm really sorry," you looked into his eyes. "I've wanted to apologize for pushing your buttons on purpose that day since it happened, you never would've did what you did if I hadn't, and I realized that you were the only one trying to make an effort when you came by the other day," you spewed the words out, rambling in a sense. Your head fell to the ground.

Jay grabbed your hands quickly, his eyes wide and a small glimmer in his eyes. "Y/N, you don't have to apologize. I was really in the wrong, I don't blame you for anything. I'm happy you enjoy the gifts, but that wasn't me trying to make you feel like you had to make any type of effort to apologize. I don't want you to think I need to forgive you for anything, it was a two-way street with out fighting. If anything, I should be asking for your forgiveness, still-"

You squeezed his hands, shutting the man up. You looked back into his eyes with a smile. "Jongseongie, I forgave you a long time ago."

You pulled him into a hug, his arms around your waist and yours around his neck. The two of you stayed like that for a few seconds, before Jay pulled back as the two of you stared at each other.

"I like when you call me that," he breathed out in a slow sigh. You felt your face heat up in a foreign, fuzzy way.

There was a similar beating in both of your hearts. If it hadn't been for the tight hug, the two of you would never have felt it. There was an invisible line between the two of you, but it was being erased further by the second. Every second you stared into his eyes, you felt your resolve grow weaker.

Jay's hand went to your chin, his thumb lightly stroking your cheek and tilting your head upwards. His other went to your waist, holding you steady as the two of you began to close the distance.

His face inched nearer, your eyes never leaving his lips. As they got closer, your eyes closed with anticipation. "Y/N, can I k-"

"Put my sneakers on!" Chaeryeong cheered loudly as she walked up the stairs with Yuna.

Both you and Jay shoved off of each other, awkwardly grabbing the bags, bottles clinking against one another in Jay's hands and a bright red blush on both of your faces.

The two girls made it to your door at the same moment that you two had decided to look away from each other in embarrassment. "What's up with you two?" Chae questioned.

You both mumbled, "Nothing." They shrugged and held out a similar bag to you.

"Look, babe! We got some liquor for tonight, too!" Chae smiled wide.

You hugged the two of them once you pulled yourself together. "How did you guys even make it? I thought you had practice," you giggled.

Yuna held a hand around her mouth to whisper, "We snuck out!" She laughed. "Ta-da! We weren't going to just stay in the dorms when we needed to celebrate Scooby Soobie finding a boyfriend! Especially not when his boyfriend also seems really sweet," she crossed her arms.

Chae nodded in agreement, a triumphant hand flying into the air. "And two beers, a whole lot of convincing, and I guess a romantic moment ruined later, here we are!"

Jay finally spoke after standing, gobsmacked. "Aren't you two from that girl group?"

They glanced at him, their faces going pale. "This may be a problem," Yuna stated.

"No, it's not," you smiled. "He's not going to ruin his friend's party or your image, right?" You turned to Jay.

He nodded. "I'm just very confused on why there are two idols here," he added.

Chae scoffed. "And idols can't be friends with their old friends from before they debuted? We've all been best friends for years," she jokingly rolled her eyes.

Yuna clapped her hands. "I'm getting thirsty. Let's drink!" She walked into the apartment without any other instruction, everyone following her.

Jay had finished cooking the meals rather quickly, as everyone challenged Chaeryeong and Yuna to dance battles and bullied Niki and Beomgyu. The latter had formed a small bonding over being the self-proclaimed "punching bags" of their friend groups.

The entire household was now closer to shit-faced than sober, save for Beomgyu and Niki.

"Why don't you drink as much, hyung?" Niki asked Beomgyu.

He held his glass of water up. "Last time I was drunk, I tried to beat the shit out of a cardboard cutout for looking at me funny. Then, I found out it wasn't a cardboard cutout."

"Woah, hyung," Niki gasped. "You couldn't waterboard that information from me, that's so embarrassing."

"Why, you!" Beomgyu went to flick the boy, who dodged quickly.

Heeseung and Soobin had been long asleep, both falling asleep on top of your bed. Everyone was told to stay over since they were "capital-F Fucked up", but the men of the night were given bed privileges.

Keeho, who had sat out after leading his fifth round of karaoke and stand-up comedy specials, looked around and pointed at the small futon he'd pulled out of his room for the night. "Dude, look at that," he gawked.

The two boys followed his finger and locked their eyes on his target of interest. "Someone take a picture, she's going to be so pissed," Beomgyu struggled to not laugh.

Keeho and Niki took their phones out, both taking a photo.

There you and Jay were in the photo, you asleep across his lap as his hand sat where he had been playing with your hair, and him asleep with his head against the top of the seat.

Maybe there was something that invisible line had been holding back all these years, or maybe there was something the two of you had refused to admit was there the entire time. Something fuzzy and warm, something that tinted the world pink around each other, something that felt like home. It was a force much too strong to accept in the moment, but the slow steps were enough to you.

notes: hey guys, this isn't a note I want to leave. I'm sorry it took this long to get this post out, I was intending on proofing this tomorrow and posting it but I decided to do it tonight due to unfortunate circumstances. I drove two hours out from home for the week for a job that I cannot leave on a whim, and my family notified me today that both my grandmother was brought to the er yesterday and that she passed this morning. I understand why they held off on telling me, but I cannot fathom why they felt that telling me everything at once and robbing me of my last chance to tell her goodbye and that I love her would have been better for me. I lived with her for ten years and decided to become her neighbor, so although I've been letting my family think I'm taking it better than everyone else I actually can't even look at a single thing without feeling my body shut down a little and think about how I'm coming home to a house without her. I feel guilty, I feel like shit, I feel like an awful grandkid because I was one of her only two and I wasn't around to help or say goodbye. I feel guilty for enjoying my time out of town still, and I feel even guiltier for sometimes letting her passing slip my mind and forgetting she's gone. I haven't had motivation for anything since I found out, and I feel I won't have the motivation to continue this smau for a few days. I'll be taking some time away due to this unforeseen circumstance, maybe a few days, maybe a few weeks. Please forgive me for this, I know people enjoy the story and this isn't me discontinuing it!! It is still ongoing, however it may not be updated soon. Thank you for reading, I'll make the rest of the story very worth everyone's wait!!

TL;DR: Due to unfortunate circumstances, I won't be able to update this smau for a few days to a few weeks. Please forgive me for the sudden announcement, the wait for this chapter, and the possible wait for future chapters! This smau is NOT discontinued, only on a slight pause. Thank you for reading, enjoying, and supporting, and thank you for your patience and kindness as well!

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tags: @deobitifull @eladandan @rikakhairana-blog @igotkkaebsonged @222brainrot @sophiko22 @jungwon-xo @moonmoongi @nichoswag @smellypoopfarts @queen-klarissa @luvdroids @sunoosummernights @minl0u @justalivingperson @a-l-i-y-a @b1ndignity @koibiz @cosmiczen @mariji @s00buwu @rinkouzme

[these-emo-thoughts]

Last Twilight Episode 11 thoughts

A lot of people are hating on Day right now but I get him. I do. And if you haven't watched episode 11 yet, maybe skip this post as it revolves around a major part of the plot. If you've watched the ep, you probably know what I'm talking about. More detail is under the cut.

Warning, this is a long one, lol. Apologies for any mistakes, I'm a bit sick and didn't read over it 🤣

If you've seen it already, I'm going to explain why I think Mhok and Day's break-up had to happen and why it is the best thing for them right now.

Mhok's fear of losing another person because he isn't there to help or pick up the phone is absolutely valid (and so real and relatable that I feel personally attacked). He doesn't stay with Day out of pity, which has been established multiple times throughout the series - but the trauma of what he went through with Rung and the fear of possibly repeating that again with Day has made his anxiety cloud his judgement and his heart. It's not a healthy way to live - constantly worrying about your partner, to the extent where you cannot live for yourself, is not sustainable for a relationship (I also find this quite ironic because up until this point Mhok has been on his own for a long time now). We saw the manifestation of this fear in episode 11 multiple times too, with Mhok leaving in the middle of the shift to check that the guest that was hit by a car wasn't Day, and then when he was freaking out when Day wasn't answering his phone. Imagine going through all of that, but this time, your partner is 15 hours away by plane.

Day choosing to break up with him is, in my opinion, more complex than just "he lied to me and pitied me". That's part of it (and will come back at the end of this post), yes, and he does have the right to be upset that Mhok lied to him. Again, it's not healthy for the both of them if they are going to continue a relationship. I also want to point out that Day is at a disadvantage here because while he is capable of living his life independently as a blind man, he can't actually see the emotions on people's faces when he talks to them and that's can be important for picking up what others are putting down. Day can't see the changes in Mhok's expression when his smile fades, he has to rely on the other to talk to him when something is up, so lying is a BIG no-no here (as it would be for any relationship). So far, they've done a great job at communicating, so this is presented as new issue - but, it's a big one. So yes, the lying is part of it, but it's not ALL of it.

"But what IS all of it!?" I hear you scream into the Tumblr void. Well, by now, OF COURSE Day knows that Mhok truly loves him and KNOWS that the other doesn't pity him - he's said so many times. So, Day must realise at this point - of which the timeline is probably at a year of them knowing each other, give or take - that Mhok is deliberately holding himself back from good opportunities because of that love. It must hurt like hell, knowing that you're the reason your partner is self-sabotaging, but there's nothing you can do to change their mind because everything is out of your control. It's so much easier for Day to say "Mhok pities me and lied to me and that's why I want to break up" instead of "I'm the reason Mhok won't go".

It's heartbreaking, but what's the solution here? Long distance? Sure, maybe - but that's not going to stop Mhok from worrying about Day and being distracted from his job. It's not going to stop Day from feeling like he's a burden to Mhok. Not only that, with timezones and such a huge distance, there are even more complications to worry about. Plus, let's say something DID happen to Day while Mhok was in Hawaii - it goes back to exactly the problem that Mhok had which is what can he do about it? Long distance is a solution, but how long will they last living like that?

"Okay emo, so why doesn't Day just go to Hawaii with Mhok? Then they can be together and Mhok can fulfil his promise to take him there and they don't have to break up and they'll live happily ever after." I see you!! But... that's a BIG decision. Mhok and Day's trip to Songkhla may have been a test to see how they weather the storm of living together as boyfriends, but it was only for a few days. And Day - for most of it - was alone in the room while Mhok was working. That's not a way for Day to live, and it still won't stop Mhok from being worried, probably even MORESO now because they're in a whole other country.

So... what's left?

Day's decision to break up with Mhok is heartbreaking, but is probably the only solution that makes sense to me. Mhok CANNOT live a life like this. He can't. It's already debilitating him and it'll get even worse if he's constantly prioritising Day over himself in every aspect of life. Of course a person should think about their partner, but not to the point where it becomes unhealthy self-sabotage. Day also cannot live happily like this. He's come to terms living with a disability and already is aware of how different his daily life is to that of a sighted person - but the little voice in the back of his mind, the one reminding him that he's the reason Mhok is not living his life to the fullest, is making the entire process more difficult for him (and the lying really doesn't help).

So... yeah. A necessary evil that unfortunately to many will be written off simply as the "episode 11 curse". An evil that has people already saying that Day is stupid and immature, when I really believe this is the most rational he's been. I know even the actors have said it's about the lying but this is P'Aof we're talking about here - he's a brilliant story-teller, and there's always more to his art than what we see on the surface. It's happened in other shows he's directed, which is why they rate so highly. Last Twilight is no exception, and the complexity of the love story between Mhok and Day is nothing short of a masterpiece. That's how I see it, anyway.

Would love to hear other thoughts and perspectives!

[peachypede]

If you have migraines, seizures, or narcolepsy I’d suggest either breaking frequently when playing Pokemon Violet/Scarlet or even waiting until they fix it.

I thought it was just a me thing. I have a history of being very sensitive to motion sickness especially in games and I also have TMJD which causes frequent migraines. But I have been reading up on other peoples anecdotes and the situation seems to be consistent throughout the board, even in people who don’t frequently have motion sickness or headaches.  some cases even report having such severe eye-strain that they have episodes of narcolepsy even if well-rested. Some can’t even tolerate to watch a stream of the game for more than 10 minutes. 

Here are a few anecdotes I have found on Reddit and YouTube:



Here’s the Reddit form I got the Reddit comments from. I’d suggest if you experience the same problems as me to comment on and upvote this forum.  I feel like this needs to gain more traction than it has. Nintendo and game freak need to realize they’re hurting people with how under-developed their game is.  I love the game design and the game mechanics but is frankly embarrassing how awful this game is that it causes people to literally pass out due to the eye-strain while playing it.

I know not everyone is experiencing these problems but please realize that just because you are not experiencing problems with headaches or eye-strain from this game, it doesn’t mean that a lot of people aren’t. I know we all love Pokémon. I have enjoyed Pokémon since I was 11 years old. It saved me from a very lonely and awful time in my life.  I love it enough that I am willing to speak up about the problems that is giving me. It hurts so much that something that usually gives me comfort is giving me physical pain instead. 

Saying it’s “launch week, they’ll fix it, get over it” is not enough. Pokémon games I played when I was a child, I played during launch week and they were top notch. When did it become acceptable for a game to launch with so many bugs? Even if they can fix it or patch it up, I just find it so lazy for them to just throw this thing out there with no care for the people who support and love this franchise. 

It’s time we put our foot down. This is the top leading media franchise in the world. There is no reason, literally no reason at all for the games to be coming out this bad. They have the money, they have the resources. The only reason I see is that they don’t care at all anymore.

If you love Pokémon, please help me get this post and the Reddit forum more traction. I want news articles written about this. I want this to be the top discussion about what’s happening with Pokémon. I want Nintendo to realize that they can’t come out with these crappy products anymore. It’s heartbreaking to see how much love was put into the character designs and storylines only for the game to have obviously been rushed and lazily put together.