#Even my fucking game ships them apparently

[nekrophoria]

Mel is looking respectfully.

[vexwerewolf]

The thing is, D&D is not a game.

I know that sounds insane, but hear me out: D&D is not a game, it is a games console. You don't actually "play D&D." You play "Dragon Heist" or "Tomb of Annihilation" or "Ghosts of Saltmarsh" or "your GM's homebrew campaign" or "the plot of Critical Role Season 1 reconstructed from memory" on D&D.

For quite a long while now - possibly literal decades - D&D hasn't even been the best games console, but it's been "the one everyone knows about" and "the one my friends have" and in fact it's "the one whose name is almost synonymous with the entire medium of TTRPGs," like how "Nintendo" or "Playstation" could just mean "games console" to people who didn't understand games consoles. They might not have heard of a "tabletop roleplaying game," but most people have heard of "Dungeons & Dragons."

For this extended metaphor, D&D is Nintendo back in the 90s, or Playstation in the 2000s. Sometimes you say "oh let's go to my house and play Nintendo" or "c'mon dude I wanna play Playstation" but you're not actually playing Nintendo or Playstation, you're playing Resident Evil or Super Mario Bros or Jurassic Park or Metal Gear Solid or whatever on a Nintendo or a Playstation.

Now, this metaphor is going to get even more tortured, but remember how when the PS2 and the original X-Box came out, they used a standardised DVD format, but the Nintendo console in that generation, the Gamecube, used discs but they were this proprietary tiny little disc format that they had control over? That essentially meant that it was really difficult to make third party titles for the Gamecube that did literally anything that Nintendo didn't want them to do, and also essentially gave Nintendo an even greater ability to skim money off the top of any sales?

So that must've seemed like a smart business decision in their heads. But the PS2 and the X-Box used DVDs. This was a standardized format which gave Microsoft and Sony way less control over who made games for their consoles, but that actually turned out to be a good thing for gaming, because it meant that the breadth of games that you could play on their consoles was massively increased even if some of them were games Microsoft and Sony didn't really approve of. (Also it's worth nothing that the PS2 and the X-Box could just play DVDs, which meant if your household was on a budget, you didn't need a separate DVD player - your games console could do it for you! This was actually a huge selling point!)

What Wizards are currently trying to do now is kinda-sorta the equivalent of Sony suddenly announcing that the PS5 will only accept a proprietary cartridge format they hold the patent on, will control the content of and charge money for the construction of. This possibly seems like it could be a moneymaker in your head because you hold market dominance (apparently the PS5 has 30 million units shipped compared to X-Box Series X 20 million units) and so many people make games for your console, but what it actually means is game devs and publishers will abandon your product. If it takes so much more work, the scope of what they're allowed to do is so much more limited and they're going to make less money off of it, they just won't bother. They'll go make games for the X-Box or PC instead.

To use another computer metaphor, D&D is Windows - it might not be the best system but it's the system most people are familiar with and so it gets the most stuff made for it, but there's is an upper limit on the bullshit people will take before they decide fuck it and get an Apple or learn how Linux works.

TTRPG systems are a weird product because you're not selling people a game, you're selling people a method to play a game. All the actual games are created by the community - even prewritten campaigns needs to be executed via a game master. Trying to skim money off the community will mean they'll eventually give up on you.

[meanbossart]

in the least confrontational way possible…what’s up with you shipping durge and orin? is it just another aspect of u liking fucked up dark dynamics in media? personally its not for me at all, but i’m curious why you like them together and how her dynamic is with ur durge

[CONTENT WARNING for mentions of inter generational incest and grooming below, nothing explicit.] Hm. You know, it's a little unfortunate that we have reduced every depiction of characters having a relationship that is at all romantic or sexual in nature (not even, really, I've only ever drawn them hugging LOL) as "shipping". I don't "like" them together in the way I like DU drow and Astarion together, for example, and they never really were together. I made up a story that I find interesting, because I find Orin interesting and wanted to explore her themes more, and liked the idea that hers and Durge's relationship wasn't always "bad".

I really enjoy writing for DU drow, I put a lot of effort into making his story feel fleshed out and suited for the in-game universe. It's a little disheartening that some people may harp on this without considering that there is a wider context beyond it just tickling me, somehow. These are two characters who've never even had sex, in which one of them (Orin) isn't even interested in romance or "mating", and the other one has no concept of healthy relationships, familial or otherwise and just desperately grasps at the one thing he feels a kinship to: to the eventual disintegration of the one relationship he had that approached anything to mutual understanding and relatability.

Theirs isn't a love story, it's a story about isolation and grooming that led to total dependency. If you've been told your whole life that everyone and everything is fated to die at your hand, that your kind is meant to be contained within a genetical crockpot, that debauchery is normalcy and everyone else is the enemy, it is no huge stretch that you would dump all expectations of companionship onto your one, supposed equal - friend, sister, mate, should-be-lover. And then, if you're a bad person on top of that, you won't take no for an answer.

Add to that that your grandfather (Sarevok) is apparently in total agreement and a practicant of the idea of inbreeding for weird purity purposes and you have yourself an environment where an obsession like such can be born - one that Orin wants nothing to do with, because unlike DU drow, she doesn't become distracted by matters of the heart - and hence we have conflict, and we have reason for resentment to brew over time. At some point in the past, they had a "good" (within the bhaalist concept) relationship, and there was nothing sexual or romantic about it. DU drow crushed that. And then he got a worm in his brain for it.

Is that shipping? 🤷 idk

If you go onto my blog's archive and look up the "orin the red" tag you can find more asks where I discuss them and their relationship.

[restesdelune]

****Meet the Grimes****

A second chance & heartbreak

A new life on the road

A united front

A well deserved reunion

What a family ❤️‍🔥

The Last Grimes

Some context before a rant:

I can’t believe some people still exclude Michonne and RJ from the Grimes family. I saw an old post with Judith tagged as #TheLastGrimes, and a recent one claiming Michonne wasn’t Judy’s mother? I beg your pardon? (yes, it was on twitter).

Since the early days on the mothership, TWDU fandom has been so oblivious to racist bias and tropes, to the point of marginalizing Michonne fucking Grimes from her own family, the hero, supermom and wife, who *actually* raised "the last Grimes" mind you!

We really don’t respect Black women, their labour, their love and loyalty, neither irl nor in fiction.

This shows up everyday in very real ways in our lives. Whether for Black girls, gals, wives, girlfriends, single mothers, baby mamas, widows and their children. Whether they gave birth to their children or not, whether they’re mixed or not, Black motherhood is systematically denigrated. I wouldn’t recommend to anyone who doesn’t see how disastrous these optics are to engage with this.

The disrespect of Black women, the erasure of mixed children, claiming ownership of kids one didn’t raise, minimizing the bonds of a new family... See, I don’t fuck with that bs and it will be read as anti-Blackness and misogynoir on my part. People can argue with a wall.

The Grimes all chose each other, went to hell, and only some came back. A lot of us wanted nothing more than to see them reunited and finally at peace, and we did. Such canon is too much for some. Not for me. It was well-earned, by the characters as well as by the audience, and so refreshing in such cynical times. On one hand, I wish I could see more of them, on the other, I’d rather not have anyone mess it up (shout out to our TOWL S2 truthers out there though ^^).

I honestly pity those who’ve imprisoned themselves in blood lineages and narrow 'legitimate' families, unable to grasp the gifts of community and found family in a freaking post apo zombie show. That must honestly be depressing in deed...

Whether we are called dramatic or aggressive, Richonners will keep calling this out, especially Black women who don’t even need to do anything to deserve those exhausted epithets in everyday life. We see the double standards, we see the fans defending their buddies’ racist takes, we see the apparently infinite plausible deniability and benefit of the doubt afforded to some, never to others. It's not bright, it's not new, and we know the game.

No wonder this fandom can feel so segregated sometimes.

Anyway, if you’d like for me to expand on this lmk, I’ll always have more to share. Thanks for reading.

Happy Shipping

[avelera]

So I've been watching Three Body Problem with my partner and we just got to Episode 5. It has (spoilers) a pretty gruesome scene in it from the book, very bloody. I literally didn't watch it, just listened and watched my partner's (shocked) face throughout it.

This got me thinking. Not so much about Three Body Problem, because I haven't finished it yet nor read the books so I haven't really formed any sort of opinion on the show or the overall story, but more on Benioff and Weiss.

While looking away from That Scene I was curious if it was even in the book, so I was looking that up instead of watching. It was, but sure enough, Benioff and Weiss had embellished it.

I'll discuss it in more detail beneath the cut to avoid spoilers but suffice to say this is my take away:

For Benioff and Weiss, it's always been about cruelty. The chance to show cruelty above and beyond the source material, using the source material only as a spring board to delve into horrific imagery, is literally what attracts them to the stories they choose to depict.

And I felt like I'm taking crazy pills when I pointed this out all through the Game of Thrones era, not so much no one was figuring it out but because it felt like no one in the mainstream media was talking about it. They'd get asked these deep artistic questions about a certain scene (like the quote below which has spoilers) and it would be asked completely seriously and they'd give this answer like, "Oh we didn't want to show all that gore but we had no choice."

And I'm just sitting their flabbergasted like... what the fuck are you talking about, just admit that's what you wanted to depict?? That's what gave you a boner to tell this particular story??

Let me be clear, an artist choosing to depict gore and cruelty isn't a problem. I'm not a horror fan but it's not like I think horror shouldn't exist, or gore, or horrifying scenes that shock us to our marrow. That's very much a thing art can and should do!

I just feel like I'm fucking crazy because Benioff and Weiss and the people interviewing them never seem to get that this is their story kink. They always put this like... veneer of genteel shock and respectability over their questions about the cruel and gorey scenes they depict, like it just happened that way, when it's really really clear this is the stuff they like showing the most.

Benioff and Weiss's Game of Thrones was literally more gorey, graphic, and dehumanizing in places than the actual book. Where they departed from the books was, more often than not, to make things more abjectly cruel, dehumanizing, and shocking towards the characters. That's what they like doing as creators.

So this scene in Three Body Problem...

(SPOILERS)

... Where the ship gets slashed to ribbons and little children are literally shredded apparently isn't even depicted in the book.

"“We wanted to show it, we didn’t want to evade it,” Benioff said at a roundtable earlier this month. “I think when you actually see something on a screen, it is going to be more horrific than in the book. You’re reading these descriptions, but you’re not seeing blood, you’re not seeing a bunch of kids running away, you’re not seeing children’s backpacks getting split in half.” (source)

Didn't want to evade it? The book literally doesn't show children getting shredded and you went out of your way to show us numerous scenes introducing these children just so you can lovingly show them and their world get shredded to ribbons while completely aware and confronting the full horror of their fates like...

Again, I am not trying to moralize here. There is a space for horror, there is a space for exploring horrible things happening to innocents.

But they always talk about these very deliberate depictions of abject cruelty as if it's just *shrugs* "What can ya do? It had to be done!" NO IT DIDN'T. IT'S LITERALLY NOT IN THE BOOK IN THAT WAY. JUST OWN IT. OWN YOUR ARTISTIC VISION. OWN THE FACT YOU GLORY IN MAKING SLASHER LEVELS OF GORE AND TORTURE AND DEHUMANIZATION. STOP BEING SO FUCKING GENTEEL ABOUT IT. JUST FUCKING... LEAN IN TO WHAT YOU ARE INSTEAD OF ACTING LIKE IT WASN'T THE CHANCE TO SHOW CRUELTY THAT ATTRACTED YOU TO THE STORY IN THE FIRST PLACE.

And just as a lateral, US politics note, it felt like this under Trump too. I'm not saying artists depicting cruelty in an artistic work is anything like a politician with real power reveling in flexes of power channeled towards deliberate acts of fascistic cruelty.

But in both cases I felt like I was taking crazy pills because the media would just... speculate about the root desire behind such actions? Like "What could possibly be motivating these guys? Gosh, we don't know, to say what's actually happening here would be far too gauche so we'll just pretend it was an unpleasant byproduct of their TRUE goals, whatever those may be, no matter how implausible they may be."

Like: it's cruelty! The point is cruelty! Some people are just sadists! Some people get off on hurting others or in having the power to hurt others OR (and this is by far the only acceptable version of this and by the way it's completely acceptable to do this in FICTION) in creating artistic works that depict terrible cruelty and sadism.

... So anyway, I definitely went into Three Body Problem going, "Huh, I wonder why Benioff and Weiss chose THIS supremely difficult story to adapt as one of their next big projects?" And then I saw the boat getting shredded and the children they added to the loving depictions of gore and was like, "... Ah, yes. That's why."

(Edit: Just to be clear for those thinking of watching the show, it's not a gore-fest. It was easy to see this scene coming and to look away for it. There's some other moments of violence but those are also pretty easy to anticipate and look away from. This isn't a slasher horror show and it's had a lot of good points (so far). This particular scene just made me go, "Ah, there's the Benioff and Weiss I remember.")

[cringefail-clown]

at last, where doing it man where MAKING THIS HAPPEN

cringes jakehal fic rec list

just so were clear: some of the fics are unfinished, and havent been updated in a while. leaving a comment to let the author know that youre reading and youre enjoying it is fine, but dont be a bag of dicks and harass them over when the new chapter will be up. have some decency or else ill be inside your walls.

Heart by fawn_writes || rated T || 1/1 || 663 words - man its so good. short and sweet. jake comes by to witness the construction of hals new body while also reminiscing about the times he fought brobot and his untimely demise. a good sparkling of body worship. "Everything will be normal. They’ll manage to keep it normal. After all, Jake has enough of his own heart to share." - fuck, that lines so effervescent.

What he needs by fawn_writes || rated M || 1/1 || 1259 words - another banger from the same author. they be doing the horizontal tango, but nothings too graphic. healthy serving of body worship from jakes perspective, as well as his internal struggle with his apparent robotic attraction.

Dead Weight by squirtgunplay || rated M || 5/9 || 27337 words - oh that fic. oh my god. love me some zombie apocalypse au with existential horror sprinkled on top. hal and dirk are twins but with a twist in this one. theres mystery. theres injuries that make you incapable of moving around. theres ship of theseus discussion. its nourishing. its beautiful. jake and hals banter in this one is fucking amazing, and the author captures their characters so well. the relationship between hal and dirk is also very fucking good and heartwrenching and just ugh. stellar writing, the forth wall break made me laugh out loud, hal gets called a security camera (derogatory). theres graphic depictions of violence, so beware of the tags.

Tennessee Whiskey & You by MistLaFey || rated T || 5/? || 12217 words - major character death and graphic depictions of violence tagged, so beware and read the tags. no-sburb au. dirk fucking dies (its in the fic description so i dont feel like its a spoiler). beautiful exploration of grief, unhealthy coping mechanisms and trying to get back into the normal life when theres a big part of it suddenly missing. hal and dirk are twins. jake is not doing well. hal is also not doing well, but pretending he is. its heartbreaking and some scenes made my chest hurt. very good fic and i dont understand why it doesnt get more love. it deserves it. go read it, even just for the funeral scene, i got teary-eyed over it.

seconds by squirtgunplay || rated E || 2/2 || 18698 words - graphic depictions of violence and its no joke, presidential alert the girls are fightinnn!! but its also so funny and the authors so funny and its also really hot! no sburb au, hals a human and dirks twin. he gets kidnapped by a craigslist hitman jake who mistakes him for dirk. the banter is top game in this one. hal cant keep his mouth shut even in life or death situation. jakes a dork, but hes a deadly dork, and also cant keep his mouth shut about his personal problems. theres fistfighting and knifethrowing and hal gets a weapon put to his head at least twice and he thinks its pretty damn hot. theres banging in second chapter. what more can i say to sell you on this one. the characters are on point, the action is tense but its also written in a cheeky, fun way, smut is good, a npc gets unsubscribed from life. amazing fic, 10/10, will read it again.

I Think Therefore I AR by Taxi_Boy || rated T || 25/? || 30417 words - im saving the best for last. major character death. hal has to start the game and get his friends into the medium while dirk is missing, while also pretending to be dirk as to not raise their suspicions. im not going to say anymore about the plot, you just have to go and read the fic. genuinely my favourite jakehal - and homestuck in general - fic of all time. i love caliborn in this one. i cant wait to see what the author has cooked up for us in the future. its plainly genious.

these are only ao3 fics as i have no clue how tf you search other fanfic sites for a specific ship, but if you have any other recommendations feel free to add them onto this post! we all need some good jakehal fic recs in these trying times!

[anime-owo-kage-san]

Mindless Kindness (Freakshow!Funnybunny)

(Pomni is still favored by Caine in this fic, but, not in a Showtime sense. He’s more on just making sure his shiny new addition, isn’t getting ruined too soon.)

Forgive me if they’re out of character, or I got something wrong. I wasn’t sure how to make this work. The characters personalities are moslty from my personal headcannons, and assumptions about them.

Also, while I think hootbon stated Caine is more lenient with both Pomni and AIngle, for this, he just likes Pomni a little bit more.

Jax x Pomni aren’t canon in the AU. I just like the ship.

Freakshow belongs to: @hootbon

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Pomni was never one to speak her mind.

Well…maybe she was. But, not anymore.

Because, apparently trying to express your human feelings, can get you killed or demented. (Or in Ragatha’s case; permanently silenced).

Although she’ll just come back, because death isn’t possible in this world (except for one type of dying…), it’s still not a pleasant thing to experience, whether it be by an accident during an adventure, or by the hands of the ringleader, or by the hands of the other trapped members.

After her first encounter with the twins, Pomni avoided Gangle like the plague. The living teary eyed porcelain mask, turned out to be just as violent and murderous as her ‘sister’; resulting in the wooden ballerina’s first ‘Game Over’.

And she never wanted to repeat the mistake she made ever again.

But at the moment; there she was, confused with her own internal debating, of whether to approach the twins once more or not.

Pomni was just planning on sleeping for the rest of the leisure hour, until Caine called them up for showtime again. She wasn’t expecting to pass by, a scene like…. this.

Right before her eyes, were the twisted twins. Gangle wasn’t really doing anything, only silently watching behind her conjoined sister, as she carried on with her sadistic joke.

AIngle was once again puppeteering the lifeless Kaufmo with her ribbons. Making him dance, smile, and wave, at an uncomfortable Jax, who was trying to be nonchalant about the cruel joke.

“Jax ol’ buddy! It’s me! Wanna joke around?” AIngle said, using her Kaufmo voice. “C’mon, let’s do something together!”

“Come on, bunny rabbit. Don’t you think it’s rude to ignore you best friend?” AIngle said using her regular voice, as she shook the clown around.

Gangle tried to intervene, “I-I don’t think you should—“

“I don’t think I asked you to speak.” AIngle cut off her timid half.

Gangle squeaked and stayed quiet.

Jax rolled his eyes to hide his discomfort. Just the thought of his dead friend, being puppeteered for shows made him sick in the stomach. And now this twisted ribbon freak, wants to fuck with his head, even off stage.

“I’m not… in the mood for this…” He tried to sound less in pain, and attempted to walk away.

But just like that, the ribbons holding the clown up, carried him over the rabbit’s head, and blocked his way.

Jax passing through the right, but Kaufmo was dragged and used to block that way as well. He tried to take a step to the left, but it resulted in the same way.

“Not until you gimme a good hug!” After saying that, the clown’s arms were spread open slightly leaning towards the rabbit, who instinctively leaned back.

“Kaufy and I don’t hug.” Jax said, a little too aggressively, when he turned back to the twisted twin.

“Well, Kaufmo back then didn’t. This one does!” AIngle said, inching Kaufmo closer to Jax, who stepped back even more. “I can make him do whatever I want. Including hugging and kissing his pathetic pet bunny.”

As she says that, she dragged the body closer to Jax. The lifeless arms almost touching his shoulders.

Jax, moved back again, unknowingly backing himself against the body of ribbons, until he was trapped in between her and the clown.

AIngle started making kissing sounds, that made Jax cringe, “Mwah mwah! Come on buddy, lemme pet behind your ears! Don’t you miss me?”

‘Kaufmo’ started getting closer, Jax gritted his teeth, and turned his head away.

Pomni continued to watch, her face scrunching in disgust, as she watched the incredibly fucked up scene. A part of her felt bad for the rabbit. Though he wasn’t, nor will ever be, Pomni’s favorite person in the circus, this was too far of a joke. Whether a jackass like Jax deserved it or not.

Nobody deserved to be taunted, with the corpse of someone they were close to.

She wouldn’t want to see this happening to Kinger with his wife, or Gangle with Ragatha, or herself with anyone she might consider close to to her.

You know what? Fuck it.

She died once, it’s bound to happen again.

May as well try and get used to it.

It might even save her of what’s left of her sanity, if she tries to adapt to the feeling.

Feeling uncharacteristically bold, she made her way to them.

Pomni admits, part of her wished she was less brazen with her words, but that spur of the moment part of her, spoke without thinking. “AIngle. Fuck off.”

Understandably caught off guard, the AI sister stopped with her taunting and turned her head to the ballerina.

Gangle and Jax, who were also equally surprised, looked at Pomni with wide eyes.

Confusing changed to irk, as she raised her eyebrow at the wooden doll. “Excuse me? I must’ve misheard you back there.”

“Then let me repeat myself. Fuck off.” Pomni said, more aggressively. No turning back now. It’d be more embarrassing to take it back.

“Puppeteering these bodies are for the show. Not for your entertainment. Put the clown back with the other bodies, and stop messing with Jax.” Pomni said, in a commanding tone.

“And why do you suddenly care about the bunny? Doesn’t everyone hate him? I say, I’m doing something nice for everyone else he messed with.” AIngle said, her lips curling up in a smirk. Though, anyone with eyes could tell, she was still pissed.

“He’s already fucked in the head as it is. There’s no need for you to make him an even bigger psycho, and an even bigger problem.” Pomni replied.

She wasn’t sure if that was her reason. Actually, she not even sure, what her reason for defending Jax could be. Sure she felt bad, but she’s not usually risking her life to defend someone. Even if she won’t be dead forever. Still, that didn’t stop her.

AIngle let go Kaufmo’s body and let it drop to the ground. “And what makes you think, you can tell me what to do?” She jabbed her ribbon hand, at the center of Pomni’s face, where her nose should be.

“You’re not abstracted yet. But, I can still take over your body, and turn you into a real ventriloquist dummy. The best part? You’d be conscious to see how I can easily control you!” She threatens the brunette doll, grinning evilly at her.

“You can….” Pomni said, her voice cracking, her nervousness showing. But quickly as it slipped, she put her brave face back on. “But, you won’t!”

“Remember? I’m Caine’s favorite. If you try to do anything to me before I even abstract, he’d be really pissed at you for ruining his prized possession.”

Pomni internally cringed at herself for that one. She doesn’t usually like playing that card. She never really cared for the favoritism. So long as she’s not on Caine’s bad side, that’s enough for her.

But at this moment, she was doing and saying the exact opposite of what she would usually do.

“Oooh~! Prima Failerina’s suddenly using her princess privileges~?” AIngle said in a mocking tone. Still, Pomni didn’t miss that eye twitch.

She brought her face closer to the doll, staring her down. “Little bitch, suddenly wants to use the ringmaster as a shield, huh.”

She moved her face away, but her eyes remained on her. And continued, “You’re only favored for your pretty face. You’re lucky to be brought into this world, in this body. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be interesting in any way to him. You mean as much to Caine, as a brand new doll means to a child. Once you get tattered and depreciated, he won’t care if you’re safe or not.”

Jax had already moved away from the mask, but was too intrigued by the scene before him to leave.

AIngle let out a dry laugh, “But, you’re right…” She said bitterly. “As Caine’s precious doll, I can’t hurt you on purpose.”

She shrugged. “But, I can ignore you. And do whatever I want with the others. Since, I won’t be in trouble for messing with the already depreciated toys.”

She turned away from Pomni, and picked Kaufmo back up. “Ohhh bunny boy~!” She called out, as her ribbons wrapped around Jax and pulled him back in for another game of dead dolls.

“Would you get off me, freak!” Jax tried to wriggle out of the ribbons.

“Why should I? I’m giving you more time with your friend.” AIngle started letting put sadistic giggles, and she continued her own self-entertainment.

“Let go of him, and put Kaufmo back.” Pomni butted in once again.

“And what are you gonna do? Little miss wooden joints?” AIngle taunted again, looking down at Pomni. “I may not be able to do whatever I want with you, without getting an earful from Caine. But, what can YOU do other than yap at me like a stubborn chihuahua?”

Pomni silently glared at her for a couple of seconds, her eyes narrowed and face infuriated. Her fist clenched and shaking.

She then moved her eyes to an object on the ground.

It was Jax’s bat. A large piece of wood with a disturbing amount of nails hammered into it. He must’ve dropped it in the middle of the trying to avoid Kaufmo’s body.

Pomni didn’t know why, but she walked towards it, and picked it up. She then made her way back to the grinning twin.

“Haha! You wouldn’t.” AIngle said with a confident voice. “Not after the last time.”

Acting without thinking, Pomni replied, “If it’ll get you to finally fuck off… then I’ll take my chances.” And she swung the bat towards the grinning piece of porcelain.

The force of the bat cracked the twin into several pieces, the nails also cutting into the ribbons restraining Jax, setting him free.

Pomni immediately pulled Jax away from Gangle and shoved him away as hard she could.

Just as she had already anticipated, Gangle started having another meltdown. Her face contorted into a horrific frown, and her ribbons lunged at Pomni, wrapping around her neck and waist.

Pomni was brutally thrashed around a few times, before the corrupted Gangle dragged her off somewhere else to slowly murder.

Jax was just there… on the ground. Staring off to where the ballerina was dragged off to.

He looked at Kaufmo, whose body was abandoned on the floor, and little bits of porcelain next to him.

The rabbit stood up and walked towards lifeless clown, picking him up and positioning him in a piggyback ride.

As he carried his friend, the image of the wooden doll’s face flashed back in his mind.

Eh….

He wasn’t good at saying ‘thank you’, nor did he like saying it. So, he won’t be thanking Pomni.

But, he’ll be sure to say something to her when she comes back.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

I’ll probably make a part two.

Tbh, it was pretty hard trying to make them in character in this AU, while still shipping them. I’m a Funnybunny shipper, but when it comes to the Freakshow AU, I lean more towards Showtime. But, I wanted to take up the challenge of trying to make them ‘shippable’ even in this AU.

So what do you guys think….?

[average-mako-enjoyer]

Mass Effect LGBTQ+ representation issues and some headcanons

I've seen a few Mass Effect posts about the sexuality of the trilogy's characters, and I'd like to add my 5 cents, since none of those posts take into account the whole xenophilia aspect of canon relationships. And some of us are here for it. For the aliens. I am here for them. I'm not sorry.

Also, I have to acknowledge the fact that Bioware has made some very questionable choices, and the in-game representation is bad. Like BAD-bad.

I.E.(this list is going to be looong):

All Male Shepard/Kaidan Alenko dialog for ME1 and ME2 was written and fully voiced, but NOT INCLUDED in the final version of the game. And I know that the same thing happened to FemShep/Ashley, but that a bit different because...

The only "gay" romances in ME1 and ME2 are for femShep, and either with a female-representing human-like aliens (who like to dress in tight clothes that emphasize the size of their breasts), or with the equally feminine Kelly Chambers in ME2. Because, you know, guys who buy this game will be more tolerant of two "hot chicks making out" (insert a bunch of mods that make your femShep wear only lingerie and look like a TikTok e-girl) than a more realistic same-sex romance.

Especially when this romance is between two guys. Because ew. Right, Bioware? But you also wanted to sell your games to LGBTQ+ folks, so you installed a…

… so-called "gay button" into your games.

Before ME3, no one except for "hot chicks asari" states their sexuality. You can go through two entire games as a straight character completely surrounded by other completely straight characters. Oh, maybe Kelly likes aliens a little too much, but "who doesn't like asari", right? Even asexual salarians are into them. Sure, a straight woman like femShep…

"Hot chicks making out" really sells those game copies, I guess.

If you think ME3 is better, think again. The only two gay characters in the game are Cortez and Traynor, and they are both supporting characters, who are not even in your squad!

Cortez and his whole "I lost my husband" drama is conveniently placed on the lowest deck of the ship, so if this story offends your bigoted sensibilities, you can just ignore him along with the "dumb jock" Vega who is really unpopular with the players. Is it because he's really friendly with an openly gay character? Oh, who knows?

Meanwhile, Traynor is either mocked (oh, she found EDI voice hot and commented on that! what a shame! awkward lesbians, amirite?) or fetishized (don't get me wrong, Donnelly is funny, but his remarks about Traynor are even more yucky than the way he talks about EDI and lube).

But don't get mad about all this, because all the women in the trilogy are fetishized and heavily sexualized. The best example of this is Samara, whose character design is a war crime.

Bioware made Benezia look horrible (she tried to make Saren change his ways not with her power or wits but with those giant bazooms and the cleavage, I guess), and then they doubled down in ME2 and gave a warrior samurai nun a boob window. A FUCKING BOOB WINDOW. Because boys buy games, and they love boobs, y'know.

Oh, and any inappropriate remarks made by NPCs in the game are directed only at the femShep. Just like the MShenko romance, the male version of the dialog is fully voiced, but conveniently excluded from the game. Because guys can't tell other guys that they look hot in "that soldier getup". That can make bigots uncomfortable.

And let's talk about bi representation, because Bioware apparently hates bisexuals as much as straights and some queers do (trust me, as a bisexual I've experienced both types of hatred, and it's ugly). The only bisexual characters in the game are Kaidan and Diana Allers.

If you're a bigot playing as the maleShep, you can "safely" kill Kaidan on Virmire in the middle of the first game and not have to deal with his uncomfortable love confession at all!

So, yeah, Bigots: 1, Representation: 0. The bisexual is successfully killed, congratulations!

If you play as femShep, you won't even know that Kaidan is/was bi. Because who wants a bisexual guy who is comfortable with his sexuality? You can't sell that kind of romance to the good ladies who buy this game.

Diana Allers romance, meanwhile, is laugh-worthy. If you play as maleShep, you won't even know that she's bi. And if you're femShep, this romance is as insignificant as the one with Kelly, you won't even get an achievement for it! You can also kick her out of your ship without any consequences, so she will be KIA offscreen. You will find about it via fucking email. Bigots: 2, Representation: 0. Both of dirty bisexuals are successfully killed, congratulations!

The bi-xenophile Kelly suffers the same fate: no achievement for her romance, you cannot continue the romance after ME2, and she will either take a poison pill and die or be killed in the Collector's Base/Citadel offscreen in ME3. If she survives both the base and the Cerberus attack, you won't even get to say goodbye to her before the final battle of the game. Bigots: 3, Representation: 0

9. And I almost forgot about Omega DLC that kills the only female turian in the game. Who's also into asari. God, they did her dirty.

"Those were different times," you might say, but all of this could have been fixed in 2019, when the Limited Edition was released. Instead, we just have fellow modders changing the design of Benezia and Samara, restoring MShenko (one of the most healthy, respectful, and mature romances in the entire trilogy) and other gay romances in the game, making all NPCs flirt with your character, adding female turians and krogans to the environment, etc., etc.

Still, I think these games are great. The characters, the cinematics, some aspects of the writing, great! I love that canon. But the LGBTQ+ representation in those games sucks. Big time. But that doesn't stop me from having a bunch of headcanons. For the sake of convenience, I'm going to separate out all the characters for the games in which they debut.

Mass Effect:

MaleShep/FemShep: Both are canonically bi. Both don't mind the alien physiology thing and polyamory. Both are "married to your job" type, so they were okay with casual sex and one-night stands, and only mellowed out while in charge of the Normandy crew. Because of convenience, both had more hetero than same-sex hookups.

Ashley: Straight as a plank and xenophobic, but not homophobic. She's definitely into maleShep, but more into the idea of him as a sole survivor/war hero/butcher of Torfan than an actual person.

Garrus: He likes turian and quarian women. And both fem and maleShep. But with maleShep, he's more busy with the whole "flirt him to death" aspect of their bromance, so there's really no time to get on the floor and get dirty.

I also feel that turian society in the game is very patriarchal, so Garrus has a bias towards femShep and feels less restricted by her rank. With mShep, I think he would have only acted if mShep had specifically pursued that relationship. But mShep is also more interested in just flirting with Garrus.

Kaidan: Canonically bisexual (more into women) and demi. Not into aliens, but not xenophobic. Not a stranger to casual sex, but would really prefer to go steady because #introverted and has enough problems already. "How can you flirt with all these people, Shepard, it's exhausting…"

Liara: She's into both versions of Shepard. And maybe a bit into one drell. Classic demi/asexual. Also, imo, all asari are agender and Liara is not an exception.

Tali: Is a mess and can definitely go cross-species (her romance with Garrus is canon, after all). She's also a massive nerd and a bit kinky. I think she's into human/turian/quarian males, but maybe this femShep really is THAT SPECIAL.

Wrex: Krogan women - that's his sexual orientation. Real bros with mShep, more cautious with femShep because bias. Another "married to his job" character.

Joker: Straight and nerdy. #Irony. Too cool for homophobia.

Chakwas: More married to her job than anyone on this list. Cool lesbian aunt.

And this post is already so long that I'll make a separate one for ME2 and 3.

[lantern-suports-all-proshippers]

ALL SIMP COME NOW!(my name on discord is pullth3p4r4dyl3v3r and tamotasause fans will know)

Quick warning here the server is very sus and horny

ALL PRO/COMSHIPPERS WELLCOME! BLOG AND SERVER!!

ANTIS NOT.

You are allowed to join if you are not a Simp you will just not get the ⭐✨🌟💫pink name💫🌟✨⭐

Something I had to say that will not go under cut. I do not support incest irl or pedophilia. Yes I'm a selfproshipper but that does not mean I am bad.

I AM A MINOR

Amount of people that have blocked me because of the accusations and me being a proshipper: 134

ON JUNE 22TH THROUGH JUNE 27TH I WILL NOT BE ONLINE AS THAT IS THE TIME THAT I WILL BE AT A CHRISTIAN CAMP

Just so you know I'm not there by choice

Full masterpost under cut! More will be added to it later!

Hello! My name is Amanda but I go by flowey or (that) small flower! I use she/they pronouns and if you do not respect them I will tear your head off!/j

I fully support pro/comshippers and I am a proshipper myself!

I hate spamming so please do not spam like or spam reblog my posts.

SELFPROSHIPPER DEMICAT LESBIAN WTF IS MY LIFFFFE MY LIFE IS SO FUCKING COMPLEX DUDDDDE

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

DTIYS lol v

Me haves non yet :3

Last has past =}

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I have 5 au's:

Underglitched

Underlight

Underdark

Scarftale

Rosekillers

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A form of music me and my friends have made:

~~~~~~~~

• • •• •~~~~

• •• •~~ •• • •~~~~~~

• •• •~~ •• • •~~~~~~

•• • •

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Shipping

I ship a lot of ships and if one I ship makes you uncomfortable feel free to unfollow or block me./srs

Killmare

Dreammare(thank proshipisokay)

Drink

Errorink

Inkmare

Errormare

Cream

Kross

Krossmare

Crossmare

Lust x dance(apparently they have a ship name of tango-)

Kustard

Horrorberry(thank muskka)

Bad sans poly

Star sans poly

Horrordust

Crink

Kream

Coffecrop

Fluffymare

Holyhell/guitarduck/adamsapple

There's definitely more but I am too lazy to put them all

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A THING I HAD TO SAY

Why do so many people dni pro/comshippers? They're just people like everyone else. They ship because they see it as a ship. Just like everyone else. Eg Dreammare is literally a ship between two fictional talking skeletons who don't need organs or muscles at all and rely on magic. They're not even real. Yes they're brothers but brothers who are two fictional talking skeletons who don't need organs or muscles at all and rely on magic and emotions to survive and not die. I just don't see why people dni them. It's fiction and not even promoting it irl. Get a grip people.

I hate it when I look at a friend's masterpost and I see "dni pro/comshippers!". I really do.

I get it if the ships feel weird to you that makes sense.

I myself am a proshipper because I ship dreammare! It doesn't mean a prompt incest irl. But I like the ship dreammare and that's because it's my preference! You don't have to like it and no one is forcing you! If you don't like it then just try to avoid it and don't interact with it! That's the best I can say and I hope it helps!

54 people have blocked me so far because I support pro/comshippers and because I am a proshipper. If fine with this. But I still don't like that.

Fuck anti's.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here's the definition of pro/comship! v

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

CHARACTER COLORS

Ask: Holy shit its Flowey The Flower frim the hit 2015 game Undertale

*But really it's lantern from comic underlight

*And Black Rose from the comic Rosekillers

*And Kris who for some fucking reason is in underlight subbing for Chara

*And Chara who's subbing for Frisk because they don't have a design and aren't in the comics

*And Frisk Rose from Rosekillers who is here now

And the creator of this blog!

*And Fear from underdark who is also here now

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

IMPORTANT

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

:3

[teecupangel]

I’ve recently noticed (as in I only noticed recently, not it only happened recently) a distinct lack of it in your content so I thought I’d ask: opinion on EziDesAltCon? (I never know which order it’s supposed to be) cause to me it just seems like the obvious conclusion.

I honestly don’t know if there’s an ‘official’ shipping name for it. I usually go for AltDesEziCon, in the order of their games XD

I like it. Honestly, I’m all in for them being in a polycule or if this is primarily a Desmond harem XD

I cannot remember if I have ever answered something like this but there was this Desmond harem in a Royal ‘Family’ AU idea last year so I’ll focus on a poly kind of situation for this one.

Have some unorganized notes!

They all fall in love with Desmond first and it starts of as them being rivals for Desmond’s affection.

Altaïr and Ezio are highly competitive and tries to one man each other. Ratonhnhaké:ton is more of a chill dude but turns out to just be as competitive. He’s just more sly about it. There have been many Altaïr versus Ezio competitions that ended with Ratonhnhaké:ton’s stealth wins and it was all planned.

Desmond loves them all and realize that Altaïr and Ezio’s competitiveness is kinda like their foreplay.

He gets the idea of making them fall in love with one another so they can all be together (and Desmond doesn’t have to make a choice)

Shaun thought he was mad, Rebecca was more on the side of “It’s crazy enough to work”, Clay is there to watch the chaos unfold.

The Auditore family has an ongoing joke of disowning Ezio and adopting the others if he breaks up with any or all of them (not that it would happen)

Everyone but Ratonhnhaké:ton call Haytham ‘father-in-law’ to fuck with him. One time, Ezio calls him ‘father-in-law’ during a party with a lot of rich people and that’s how people learn that Haytham’s ‘unknown’ son is dating 3 dudes all at the same time.

They all call William Miles ‘Bill’ though.

This is full on modern day now apparently so Desmond’s parents are divorced and his mom married Minerva. Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton call Minerva stepmother-in-law while Desmond and Altaïr call her ‘Minerva’. Minerva just rolls with it and calls Desmond’s beaus “my stepson’s harem.” (this is honestly inspired by what @thedragonqueen1998 and I talked about in the comments of EOA XD)

They all live in a big apartment and have the biggest bed their friends have ever seen. They have a schedule on who does what chore each week. Altaïr is rarely given kitchen duties because he will season the ingredients and put it all in the oven. It’s not bad but Ezio keeps teasing him about his lack of variety. Ezio is forbidden to do groceries unsupervised because one time he bought more than they needed because things were ‘on sale’.

Altaïr’s grandfather doesn’t mind the number of lovers he has or that they’re men. He’s still annoying Altaïr to give him great grandchildren before he dies though.

Kids are not off the table but they want to spend time with each other first. (They all agree the oldest must be Desmond’s XD)

Malik is worried that Kadar would think that he could be invited into the poly. Kadar is honestly just living vicariously through Desmond at this point. He and Rebecca are the only two people Desmond confesses all the kinky shit they get into.

Leonardo knows the kinky shit they get into courtesy of Ezio.

Ratonhnhaké:ton doesn’t tell anyone the kinky shit they get into but Rebecca sometimes ask him for clarification because she knows he won’t embellish anything. (“Even the skydiving thing?” “Altaïr had to research a lot about that one”)

They sometimes go on doubledates and switch partners in different points of the day.

They have movie night every Sunday and the one who picks the movie is Desmond → Altaïr → Ezio → Ratonhnhaké:ton. Sometimes, movie night is in the comforts of their home, other times it’s in the movie theatres.

They schedule their offs so all of them can be together. Ezio is the one who mostly suggests they go somewhere which the others don’t mind.

Desmond always sleep in the middle of the bed, surrounded by the men he loves.

[beanghostprincess]

The Strawhats go to an amusement park and Sanji sees the most adorable, softest, cutest, plushie of a fish as a prize in one of those Shooting Games. He loves it. It's so cute. And he has always been fond of soft things, even if the only one who has ever known this is his mom. Usopp stops next to him and asks "What? Did you see something you like?" and Sanji blushes furiously and brings a cigarette to his lips, looking away and muttering "No- No. It's stupid. Let's keep walking, I saw some food trucks right this way". But Usopp won't have that. And so he lets the crew walk away and do whatever while he stays in that Shooting Booth for a long, long while. Usually, he would just finish the game and win whatever he wants in no time because, well, he's the best sniper ever. But apparently, he just can't win this fucking game no matter how good his aim is. And he knows he's not doing it wrong. He knows it's not him.

The dude working there says that maybe he's overconfident because the game is perfectly fair. But you know, Usopp is also the best liar in the world and he just knows when somebody isn't telling the truth.

--

After a long while, Usopp finds the crew eating together at one of the tables close to the food stands, but he can't spot Sanji anywhere. Not until he looks around and he sees him obviously talking to one of the cooks in what seems to be his break. Of course he would ask about recipes instead of eating. Well, Usopp just waits there until Sanji finishes talking and he turns around, their eyes meeting for the first time in a few hours. Sanji's immediate reaction is to grin at him, but then he tones it down a bit and clears his throat, looking away for a few seconds. "Did you get lost on the way to here? That's more of a marimo thing to do, huh? What were you doing?"

Usopp is excited to give him the gift. Or afraid he won't like it. Or maybe just anxious. Maybe it's too much. Maybe he realizes that he has a crush on him and every effort he's made to hide it will go to waste. But it's more important to see Sanji smile, he thinks, so Usopp breathes in and shows him the stuffed animal. "I was just getting back something you forgot on the way. Nothing much."

Sanji's face is indescribable. He gasps and drops the cigarette he's been holding to take the fish from the sniper's hands. He looks at it with so much love and fondness that Usopp is extremely glad he did this. "You're an idiot." But there's no malice in his eyes when he looks up at him. "Why did-"

"A sharpshooter cannot back down in front of a challenge like this!" But he leaves his cocky speech aside to shrug and smile at Sanji back. "And you seemed to like this cutie, so I thought it'd be nice for you to have it."

Sanji stares at him deadpanned for a few seconds. "I'm buying you food."

He can't help but roll his eyes. "Shut up. You're not." Sanji always does these things.

"It's true. I'm not." He holds the plushie close to his chest with one hand while he starts pushing Usopp, his other hand on his back. "We're going back to the ship and I'm cooking you something."

Usopp wants to stop walking, but the other keeps making them move. "Sanji." He sighs. "Accept a gift like a normal person."

The only thing Usopp can see right now is the back of Sanji's head because he's walking faster than him now, impatiently leading the way to Sunny. "You're my sniper and you got me this. And I'm your cook and I will make you something to eat." He turns around for a second and grins, brighter than the fireworks around them. Brighter than any light from this festival Usopp has seen. "That's how we work. Shut up and follow me."

So Usopp follows.

When they see that same Shooting Game again, completely in ruins and a bunch of kids taking the prizes and having fun around the chaos, Usopp tries to walk faster. And faster. But Sanji stops walking, so he has to stop too. "Usopp."

The sniper looks around anxiously. "Yeah? What's up?"

"No." Sanji frowns. "You tell me what's up."

Usopp is about to lie or confess, one or the other, but full of fear of rejection anyway. Until he sees Sanji's amused expression, about to burst out laughing, and it brings his confidence back. "You know. I guess some liars just don't deserve to get away with their schemes. That's all."

And when he sees Sanji giggling and rolling his eyes, holding the fish closer, Usopp thinks he would set a thousand booths like this on fire if it meant seeing him smile.

[kiwiana-writes]

WIP Wednesday

Thanks @firenati0n for the tag!! Absolutely love to see people publish their first fic and then throw themselves into author tag games 😍 😍 😍

Circling back to the Anastasia AU this week because why the fuck not. It's a long one! Hope y'all don't mind...

“I’ve just had the most fascinating conversation with the Secretary of Homeland Security, sugar.” The words are pleasant enough, but underneath them is the dangerous grit that launched her into the Presidency in the first place. “He seems to be under the impression that the First Son—my son—drove across the Mexican border this morning.” Alex shrinks down in his seat as though he can escape the glare he can’t even see. “The thing is—” “You know what the most interesting part of the conversation was?” Alex’s jaw snaps shut as she barrels over him. “It wasn’t pretending like I had any idea what he was talking about. Somehow, it wasn’t even the fact that you’re travelling with a boyfriend I’ve never heard about.” “It’s—” “So help me god, Alexander, stop talking.” She sucks in a sharp breath, and Alex knows her fingers are twitching, looking for a cigarette. “The most interesting part was that you’re apparently going to see your grandparents. Now, I know they’re not my in-laws anymore, but I talk to your dad enough that I’m pretty sure I’d know if they’d left San Diego.” Alex chews the inside of his lip and says nothing. “Alex.” Her breath tunnels down the phone, and the way it shakes has guilt clawing up his throat. “What are you doing? As if I don’t have enough going on, with June—” She stutters to a stop, and Alex knows she’s at least halfway there already, the pieces all slotting into place. She might not know the how, yet, but he’s pretty sure she’s figured out the why.

Forever feeling feral for whatever y'all are up to, so tagging @affectionatelyrs @anincompletelist @blairwaldcrf @cha-melodius @clottedcreamfudge @cricketnationrise @cultofsappho @daisymae-12 @dumbpeachjuice @getmehighonmagic @happiness-of-the-pursuit @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @indestructibleheart @indomitable-love @inexplicablymine @leaves-of-laurelin @myheartalivewrites @orchidscript @rmd-writes @sherryvalli @ships-to-sail @smc-27 @sparklepocalypse @ssmtskw @stereopticons @tintagel-or-cockleshells @welcometololaland and, as always, anyone who wants to play! (If you take the open tag please tag me so I can see!!)

[verai-marcel]

Rough and Tumble (BG3 Fanfic, Astarion x GN!Reader / Halsin x GN!Reader, 18+)

Of course. Of course it was bound to happen. Me? Write smut for a new fandom? You knew I couldn't stay away.

Summary: You thought Astarion had rejected you, so you went elsewhere for pleasure. Turns out, you just hadn’t piqued his interest yet.

Author’s Notes: Have I beaten the game? No, when I wrote this fic, I was barely in the middle of Act 2. Am I romancing either Astarion or Halsin in my save file? Nope, I went for Gale. Am I making shit up about these characters just because I want to get railed by both? Fuck yes, absolutely. Buckle in for some wild, made-up characterization, all because I want to write super horny fanfic. (And because certain people have bullied me into writing this…) For the timeline, this takes place during the tiefling party in Act I, but forget the real timeline of character romances and just play along. Also, if you’re not familiar with my writing, I try to be as vague as possible about reader description in my gender neutral fics so that anyone can enjoy them. However, I do have a size kink in this one, so imagine you’re a smaller hero this time around. 

Tags: gender neutral reader, halsin x reader, size kink, rough sex, doggy style, gentle dom, some after care, astarion x reader, humiliation, degradation, name calling, sloppy seconds, cock gagging

Word Count: 4,545

AO3 Link is here, sweetheart.

--------------------

“It’s not you, you understand, it’s me.” A pause. “I have standards.”

Having been shut down so brutally, you shrugged and walked away, unwilling to partake in any further conversation with the infuriatingly attractive vampire.

It’s not like you even said anything about sleeping with him. He just kept talking, like he does, as if he didn’t want to listen to you. You wondered why you had let him bite you the first time, and the second, and the third time. You cursed your weakness to his not-so-subtle glances. 

He’d look over at you, his lips twitching as if he was stopping himself from saying something. So you would ask if he was hungry. And he’d give you this look. ‘No no, I’m fine,’ he’d say, looking away and frowning, making it apparent that he was not fine. You, in your infinite dumbassery, would immediately cave in and offer up your neck. Was it your need to take care of anyone you took under your wing? Was it your stupid bleeding heart?

You knew your little motley crew only shared one thing in common: a need to get the tadpole out of your skulls. But if anything brought people together, it was facing a common obstacle.

Except that not everyone shared your need to do the greater good. You had been making a name for yourself as an honorable mercenary, taking only the jobs that aligned with your sense of morality. Not everyone liked that, especially with the number of assassins that had been sent after you. But that was before you were taken captive aboard the mind flayer ship. Wrong place, wrong time.

Nothing you could do about that now. Face forward and carry on, that has always been your way. There was no reason to change that.

You found yourself walking towards Halsin, standing tall on the outskirts of the camp. He was quietly enjoying himself, a mug in his large hand. He called out your name gently as you approached.

“You do not look as cheerful as I expected on a night like this,” he said, his eyes roving over your face. “What is the matter?”

You sighed. “It’s nothing.”

“It must be something if it is making you frown so.” He stepped closer and put a hand on your shoulder. “Come, let us walk for a bit. Nature will bring perspective.”

You followed him quietly away from camp, away from the crowd and into the forest. Soon, only the peaceful sound of the trees rustling in the wind and insects chirping into the night surrounded you, the party far away. Halsin’s hand wandered from your shoulder to your back, his thumb rubbing slow circles. It was a soothing feeling, and you leaned into him, grateful for his warmth, even if you didn’t need it on this balmy summer night.

“I don’t know what goes on in his head,” you blather suddenly. “I thought he was coming onto me, but then he wasn’t, and while I was trying to figure out what he wanted, he said I was below his standards…”

You hadn't realized that you had stopped walking until you felt Halsin’s touch on your temples, gently massaging your headache away.

“Sounds like he didn’t know what to do with a gift like you,” he said casually.

Your eyes darted up to meet his. You were surprised, but pleasantly so, by the veneration in his gaze. A slight shift, and he was closer to you than he had ever come, the heat from his body radiating like a warm campfire. Cozy and safe, you had a sudden urge to lay your head on his chest and cuddle up to the big druid.

His fingers slowly traced the curve of your ears. “If there is anything, anything at all, that I can do for you, I will gladly do so.”

I want you to crush me—

You shook your head. “I’m alright. I just needed… this.” Leaning your head against his chest, you took a deep breath. He smelled of the forest, of the earth, of nature itself. Your nose twitched. There was a hint of something more, something primal in his scent that stirred you.

Halsin called out your name again. You looked up, and he looked at you with concern this time.

“I’m alright,” you repeated. You thought back to what he said. “What do you mean, didn’t know what to do with me?”

He smiled. “Perhaps he is flustered. Internally, of course. Gods forbid he show it. So he pushed you away once he felt conflicted.”

“Conflicted about what?”

“About manipulating you, of course.”

You frowned.

Halsin touched the two most recent little scars on your neck. Astarion had a tendency to bite a different spot every time, to prevent permanent scarring, he had said.

“I’m not…” you trailed off. Yes, you knew he had manipulated you into letting him bite you the first and second time. The third time… part of you had wanted it too. That time, he had snuck into your bedroll, holding you from behind. You could feel his fangs skim across the skin of your shoulder before he bit into the soft flesh behind your clavicle. His hand was wrapped around your mouth, stifling your groan as he fed, and much to your shame, you had felt the beginning of pleasure warming your lower body. You broke away from him before he could finish, turning back to him to apologize. But he was already getting up, walking away without a single word. You had caught him giving you one last look, a regretful frown, and you had assumed that he lamented having his meal cut short.

“Alright, maybe he is a little manipulative," you conceded. "But I know that."

"And yet you keep giving into him," Halsin said, without any judgment. 

You hung your head. "Yes."

Halsin tipped your chin with two fingers until you were looking up at him. His smile was understanding and tender. "It's alright to care for someone and give into their needs, as long as you take care of your own as well."

You blinked. "But I want…" Trailing off, your cheeks warmed with embarrassment. Like it or not, you had been thrust into the role of the unwilling leader of this ragtag band. What you needed didn’t exactly align with what the team needed from you. What the others needed you to be was a commander, controlling the situation ahead of you.

But what you wanted, needed, was someone to command you, just for a little while, so you didn’t have to constantly think three steps ahead. You looked up at Halsin and felt a sense of trust. He was older, wiser, and most importantly, willing.

"Go on," he coaxed. 

Swallowing, you pushed down your fear and spoke your true desires. "I want to let someone else be in control, just for a little while. I want…" You paused, taking a deep breath, drawing in the courage to continue. "I need to be fucked. Not made love to, not a gentle roll in the sack. I need something… more."

Looking up, you saw a desirous glow in Halsin's gaze. He considered your vague request for a moment before giving you a soft smile. "Is this something you'd like me to do for you?" 

You thought of the large druid holding you down, his hands around your wrists beside your head as he fucked you from behind like a wild animal, growling into your ear. His voice rumbled through your body. Take all of me, little one. Give me your pleasure until it overwhelms your luscious body. 

You blinked and the mental image vanished, but not the desire. "Yes," you answered breathlessly. "Please."

Halsin gently stroked your cheek. “Of course.” He leaned in, nuzzling your temple with his nose. He softly whispered, “if I get too rough, say ‘honey wine’, and I’ll stop.” He pulled away to look you in the eyes. “Understand?”

“Yes sir,” you said.

He gave you one last tender smile before he straightened his stance and took a step back. “Good,” he said in his arch druid voice, powerful, commanding. “Now, strip for me.”

You swallowed and began to take off all of your clothes at a languid pace, letting him enjoy the moment as each article of clothing came off your body. He circled around you, a small smile on his lips as his eyes roved up and down your body.

As you finally stepped out of your underwear and kicked it aside, you felt strangely free. Anyone could walk up and find you two. Yet he was fully clothed, while you were naked to the elements.

And it felt good.

Halsin placed his fingers on your belly and walked around you, his touch leaving a warm trail along your skin. When he was behind you, he stopped. His hand splayed across your lower abdomen and pulled you close.

You gasped at the feeling of his bulge against your bare ass. His leather breeches rubbed against your skin. His chest, though covered in his druid clothes, was warm and comforting. And because he towered over you, he could easily kiss the top of your head.

Taking one of your hands with his free one, he brought your fingers to his lips and kissed them. 

“Show me how you pleasure yourself,” he said, letting go of your hand. He kept you tight against his chest.

With your hands, you began to touch yourself how you liked, teasing yourself at first before pleasuring yourself, harder and faster, until you were panting, your head lolling back against his shoulder. Your knees were beginning to wobble, and you grabbed his thigh for support. Gods, he was like a tree trunk, thick and solid. Your moans were growing louder, and you covered your own mouth in shame as you continued to touch yourself. Your hand was slick from your arousal, the wet sounds echoing around you. Just a little more…

“Stop.”

You whined, but did as he bade.

He suddenly let you go, and you nearly fell to your knees if not for him grabbing your arm and keeping you upright. You could hear him undoing the laces of his breeches.

Then you felt him rest his shaft against the curve of your ass. He pulled on your hand and wrapped it around him, smearing the slick from your palm.

“That’s it. Stroke me.” His voice had taken on a deeper timbre. The voice of command.

You did as he said, running your hand up and down his cock. It was hot, hard as iron, yet felt like velvet to the touch. And so girthy as well. You could not wait to take him inside of you.

So focused on pleasuring him, you barely noticed when he began to prepare you, one finger slicked up and sliding in and out of you. He added a second, and a third, all the while caressing your body with his other hand, his lips never far from your skin. You stroked him faster, gripped him harder, but he touched your wrist and slowed you down. 

“Patience, little one,” he murmured. “Don’t end this before we begin.”

You nodded. 

“Good.” He placed a hand on your back and gently bent you over. “Hands behind your back. Grip your forearms.”

You did so, and he grabbed your arms like the reins of a horse. He pulled his fingers from you, and you whimpered, but soon they were replaced by the tip of his cock.

Halsin grunted, and his hips shot forward, filling you full of him in one hard stroke.

Before you could scream, his hand was over your mouth. 

“You don’t want everyone knowing how well you submit, do you?” he asked.

You shook your head.

“Good. I’m going to let go of your mouth now. But stay quiet.” He gripped your arms with both hands now and began to move his hips. The first few strokes were slow and steady as he gauged how well you were opening up to his invasion. Then he sped up, dominating you with his strength, his hips slapping against your ass.

You couldn’t help yourself, you moaned and whimpered with each thrust.

“Can’t stay quiet, can you?” he gritted out, slowing his pistoning. Pulling out of you, he waved his hand and a soft bed of moss appeared on the ground. “On your hands and knees.”

As soon as you fell into position, he climbed over you, his chest against your back, one arm wrapped around your shoulder. He stuffed his cock inside of you once more with a deep growl, almost… bear-like?

You turned your head to look back at him.

His eyes were glowing a fiery yellow, a feral snarl on his face. 

“Halsin,” you whispered in awe, lust, tinged with a bit of fear.

He picked up on it immediately, the caring elf that he was. He took a breath, and the glow in his eyes began to fade.

“No, no!” you panicked, grabbing onto him and clutching at him like he was a life preserver in an icy cold ocean. You didn’t want him to go easy on you, didn’t want him to simmer down just because you were a little bit shocked. You wanted all of him, all that he could give. “Take me, please!”

The glow stopped fading. “Take you, little one?”

“Yes, please,” you begged. “Please.”

His only response was a low growl as his eyes glowed once more and his hips moved in a measured rhythm, his pace steadily increasing until you could barely draw a breath between each stroke.

“Such a good little lover,” he murmured. His lips caressed the shell of your ear as he rutted into you, the dichotomy of his soft moans to his hard thrusts making you lose yourself to this heavenly euphoria. The fevered trance of being fucked without having to think about anything at all was so freeing. You devolved into a mass of writhing and moaning, unable to control your volume any longer. The coil of desire within you was growing tighter, wound up with every thrust, every low, beastly grunt that Halsin gave.

You felt your hands and arms buckle, and you sank your chest into the soft moss beneath you, your ass still up in the air. The cool vegetation against your skin contrasted with the heat from the druid pounding into you from behind.

“Touch yourself,” he commanded. “Finish what you started before.”

Gleefully you reached down and stroked yourself eagerly, your body tensing as the ecstasy built higher and higher. You clenched around Halsin’s thick cock, and he rumbled with satisfaction. He sped up, driving himself into your body with wild abandon.

Your climax ran through you like lightning. One moment, you were at the top of the mountain. The next, you were free falling, pleasure guiding your wings as you soared with rapture. You spasmed below the large man, crying out into his arm. He held you tighter as he fucked you through your orgasm until your knees gave way and you collapsed onto the ground.

You felt like a blissful ooze, boneless and relaxed, but Halsin was speeding up, his breath hitching, his moans becoming deeper, more… animalistic.

“Do you want my seed within you?” he asked in nearly a growl.

“Fuck yes,” you breathed, excited by the prospect. “Give me every last drop.”

He roared and pinned you to the ground, his hips jerking against your backside as he poured his essence into you. With one last push, he stayed inside of you for as long as he could, keeping part of his weight off you with one arm so he didn’t crush you. But the warmth, the comfort of his body felt so very nice. Like he was shielding you from the rest of the world for just this one moment, and you desperately needed it.

Halsin groaned, and he pulled away from you. Turning over, you looked to see him holding his arms, taking a deep breath.

“Halsin?”

“It’s alright. When my blood runs hot, my wildform… is harder to control.” He backed away. “I need to run around for a bit, until I’ve calmed down.” He looked up at you. “But I will wait until you are ready to return.”

You smiled. He was kind, thinking that you, an adventurer in your own right, savior of the grove, needed a guard. But it was sweet of him to be so considerate. “I’ll be alright.” You reached up and touched his arm. “Go, run wild. I’ll see you back in camp.”

You watched as Halsin transformed. No matter how many times you saw his bear form, it always took your breath away. The power, the pure might behind that fur. You had seen him tear goblins limb from limb with that power. But right now, he gently nuzzled your face before bounding away, his mighty roar echoing in the night. He exuded elation as he loped into the forest, and you couldn’t help but chuckle. It was cute.

Walking back to your pile of clothes, you leaned over to pick them up. Just as your hand gripped the fabric, you sensed something, or someone, in the trees. You let go of your clothes and grabbed a pebble nearby. With effortless speed, you flung the pebble into a nearby tree.

“Ouch. What was that for?”

“Get down here, Astarion.”

The pale elf gracefully leapt down from the tree and casually sauntered towards you. The only thing giving away his nonchalant look was the fact that the front of his pants looked a bit stretched.

He gave you a withering look as his gaze wandered up and down your naked body. He paid particular attention to the trail of Halsin’s seed dripping down your thighs.

“I never took you to be so… docile,” he said, a sly smirk on his lips. “Who knew you had it in you.”

You crossed your arms. “Had what in me?”

“Well, another man’s seed, for one.” He chuckled at his own comment. “But I was more impressed by your… willingness… to submit.”

His eyes flashed with a beguiling look and he stepped closer. Standing your ground, you ignored the flush of heat in your nether region as you stared back at him defiantly, until he was face to face with you. Damn his height, forcing you to tilt your head up.

“You should have told me what you needed, darling,” he purred. “I would have indulged you… for a price.”

You glared at him.

“Come now, don’t be offended. You’ve already given yourself to me for free. It would be gauche of me not to return the favor.”

Blood. He wanted to feed. The small puncture marks on your neck pulsed. And so did lower parts of you. But your annoyance with him made its way to your mouth first.

“I thought you had standards, Astarion.”

“Oh, but I do. However, I don’t mind lowering them for a little fun.”

You seethed for a moment. “Did it occur to you that maybe you’re below my standards?”

His eyes widened a bit at your vicious banter. Then he smiled knowingly and your stomach dropped. You knew from his look that he had something on you. He leaned in until his lips were a mere breath away from yours. “You think I didn’t notice the scent of your arousal the last time I bit you?”

You swallowed. Shit, he knew.

His eyes glanced down at his last bite mark. “You’ve already proven yourself to be my little fang slut. Why don’t you become my whore as well? I’ll pay for my meal with your pleasure.”

You should have been offended. Insulted. Outraged.

However, your body, relaxed after having been thoroughly fucked, betrayed you in the worst way. You flushed with carnal heat, your eyes dilated, and your breath hitched. And Astarion picked up on every last iota of your reaction.

“Well, looks like your body is much more honest,” he said in a low voice. His eyes glanced down at your lips for a moment before meeting your gaze. His lips grazed yours, so light that you barely felt it.

“Kneel.” His command, in a voice so low that you felt it as a rumble from his lips to yours.

You obeyed immediately, your eyes remaining locked with his.

He patted your head condescendingly. “Good little pet,” he purred. With one hand, he deftly freed himself from his pants.

As you began to lean forward, he tutted at you. “Stay still.”

You froze.

He smirked, a little bit of fang showing as he placed his hand on your head and tilted it up slightly. “Give me your hand,” he commanded, holding out his.

You put your smaller hand in his, and he placed it at the base of his cock. It grew slightly from your touch.

“Open your mouth,” he said softly. When you did so, he guided your head to him until you had engulfed him.

“Now you may move,” he said magnanimously, and you began to pleasure him as best as you could with your limited knowledge. Your eyes went up to his for a moment before you closed them, savoring the feeling of him growing larger and harder in your mouth.

“Look at me.”

Your eyes shot open again and you looked up at him. He gazed at you fondly, similar to how one would look at a beloved pet.

Then he shoved his cock down your throat.

You gagged and tried to push away, but the hand holding your head in place would not budge. Your eyes watered and you began to choke a bit.

“Relax your throat, darling. Breathe through your nose.”

You did as he said, and began to feel a bit better, but it was still difficult, controlling your gag reflex. Soon he released you, and you coughed, bringing your hand to your throat.

“Not ready for that, I suppose,” he said as he caressed your head and looked down at you, appraising you with one long look. His eyes lingered between your legs and his nostrils flared. You turned your head away, knowing that he could smell how aroused you were, and felt a bit of shame well up in your chest.

He held his hand out to you, as if to help you stand. You didn’t question why he wanted you to do so, you just took his hand and stood, somewhat shakily.

Leisurely, he circled around you until he was behind you. His hand went up to your throat, gently stroking it up and down, slowly, a whisper of a caress punctuated by moments of pressure in your most vulnerable points. He stepped forward, his chest to your back, and took a deep breath at your neck. He let his lips linger on your skin where your blood, sped up by his touch, lay closest to the skin.

“I can feel your pulse against my lips,” he murmured against your neck. “For some reason, I keep coming back to you.” His other hand caressed your bare backside for a moment before you felt him nudging himself between your legs. He pushed slightly, spreading you open. Your body accepted him easily, as if it was waiting for him.

“My filthy little pet,” he teased. “Any normal being would be resting by now.” He slid further inside of you, making you gasp. “But you’re anything but normal, are you?”

You wanted to snap back at him, but then he gripped your hip, anchoring you in place as he pushed himself into you, all the way to the hilt. Your voice cracked, your comeback dying on your lips. You could only let out a wordless cry of surrender.

Astarion’s dark chuckle filled your ears. “Who would have guessed?” He pulled his hips back, leaving only the head inside, just to tease you. “The hero of the grove.”

He slammed back into you, chasing away your breath once more. “You’re just a deviant, aren’t you?” His words were punctuated by his thrusts, reducing you to nothing more than a quivering mess, slave to his touch. 

Your mind began to blank, and though the logical part of you screamed to keep your wits about you, another part of you screamed back: you were tired. You just wanted to be. And the pleasure he was giving you, despite his cruel words, or perhaps, because of them, was overwhelmingly good.

The grip on your throat tightened just a bit. Not enough to hurt, but enough to let you know that he was in command. He could end you with one snap. You were foolish to let him have you in such a compromising position.

The light scrap of his fangs on your skin made you gasp, your heart rate skyrocketing. Instinctively, your body knew he was a predator, and you were his prey. His tongue flicked out to lick your pulse. He trapped your arms behind your back, his arm looped at your elbows, forcing you to arch your back.

“How will your blood taste, tinged with ecstasy, I wonder,” he mused, his voice deeper than you’d ever heard him. He gripped your jaw and forced you to look up at him, His eyes, scarlet like the blood moon and twice as hypnotizing, were dilated with need. 

“Come for me, pet.”

You had no choice. You simply did as he wanted, moving your hips shamelessly, sinking down on his cock over and over until you began to feel your climax spinning towards you.

Just as that blissful tide came rising up within you, a sharp pain came down on your neck. Your brain, addled with so many things, couldn’t handle it. The sting melted into the euphoria until you couldn’t tell one from the other. 

“Astarion!” you cried, whether to beg for mercy or to beg for more, you weren’t sure.

His hips slammed into you harder and you felt him empty himself inside of you, just as he moaned against your neck.

You felt yourself falling, and wondered if it was you, or the afterglow.

Slowly, too slowly, you realized it was your body, and you braced for impact.

But it never came.

With a surprising amount of strength, Astarion held you, carefully letting you sit down on the ground. He knelt down with you, and without thinking, you leaned your head against his shoulder.

“Thank you,” you whispered.

He froze for a moment before awkwardly patting your back.

That was… strangely not like him, you thought. Looking up at him, you were met with a curious expression on his face. 

“Astarion?”

He blinked, and the expression was gone, replaced by his usual rakish smirk. You felt a little sad that he had put his mask back on.

“Darling. We’ll have to try that again sometime,” he said, licking the corner of his lips to catch the last drop of your blood.

You cocked your head. “Was… was it that good?”

“I’m not sure,” he said mischievously. “I’ll need another…taste… to find out.”

You closed your eyes and smiled. You knew what he meant.

I’d like to do this again.

“Any time,” you replied.

------------------

End Notes: Throughout my writing this, I ended up doing a tiny bit of research (and by research, I mean I looked up the sex scenes on pornhub), so I hope this was at least somewhat hot for some of you. Thanks for reading!

[jtl-fics]

Hello hi :) you're amazing and I'm loving your FF fic, this kid is just so precious omg 😆 my brain has autocorrected his name to Felix and in true fandom style I'm shipping him with Robin - someone he has never met over the course of your story hehe

Keep up the amazing work!!! This has definitely made my week 🦊✨️🔪 (I searched but there apparently isn't a tums or pepto emoji and I think that's just rude)

LOL When I talk about him with my BFF (who is not a AFTG fan but if I have to know about his opinions on wrestling then he has to know about my silly OCs) I call him the fucking freshman every once in a while.

Never even considered FF getting a romantic partner but it would be kind of sweet if Andrew and Neil kind of set them up. (their two favorite, not each other, people)

The two of them discover the greatest social anxiety hack which is when someone you care about is anxious about doing something you get a +10 courage modifier. So Robin is staring at a plush fox in a crane game and FF walks past the crowd of middle schoolers to fail 6 times at getting it before succeeding in getting her a Frog plush instead. She adores it. The Starbucks barista gets his order wrong and Robin steps in and says "Actually he needs oat milk, not soy milk."

[thesandsofelsweyr]

Can you do D, E, F, G, H, I? I don't know if this too much 💀

Would Robin AK Jason be more fitting? ("that's what happens when two nerds are left alone together," Referred to Jason's library. I think.. You can ignore this part 🙃

I don't want to bother you, I just want to feel closed to him since poor AK Jason not even his parents loved him.

from Headcanon Game - A to Z (NSFW)

Would Robin AK Jason be more fitting?

I'll give this a shot 😉

I don't want to bother you, I just want to feel closed to him since poor AK Jason not even his parents loved him.

Don't be silly, anon~ you're not bothering me at all! I love when people send me things 💕 (jsyk, in my Arkhamverse Cathy was a good mom who tried her best & loved her little Jaybird very much 🥰)

E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)

Jay’s inexperienced. That is to say… he has zero experience—he’s a virgin. It’s not like he hasn’t had the opportunity. He’s Bruce Wayne’s ward after all; a Gotham celeb, the heir apparent. He’s got a line of suitors across the globe, and he knows it (he's seen the tabloids, lol.) But honestly? It has never been a priority. Before Bruce came along, Jay was more focused on his corners, and keeping Maroni’s capos happy. Once he got shipped off to boarding school on Wayne Industries’ dime, he focused on academics and extracurriculars. For the first time in his life he had the opportunity to make something of himself, to leave the deadbeat Willis Todd legacy behind him for good. He dreamed of getting into an Ivy (a “fuck you” to Willis for giving him hell for opening a book more than once in his life.) Then after Bruce adopted him, this dream became closer to a reality. So on top of Robin training then patrols (and devouring every book in his new personal library) he was constantly studying… when the hell did he have the time for a relationship???

⚠️ cw: smut (⚤)

D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He’d love to fuck someone while in costume, but he’d never actually do it because B would bench his ass for a year at least.

F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)

Just because he’s a virgin doesn’t mean he’s not searching for his favorite jacking material on PornHub. His search phrases (in regards to positions) include: "doggystyle", "reverse cowgirl", "mfm threesome", and "69" 😎

G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)

He’s a cocky little shit who loves to run his mouth—he’d be very vocal in the moment. And have you heard the cheesy one-liners that come out of his mouth while on patrol? Goofiness is pretty much a Wayne Family trait 😂

H = Hair (How well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)

Judging by the fact that we never see the Batboys with any sort of body hair I'm gonna say he's got a, *ahem*, a “well-manicured lawn,” lol. (Does having no body hair make them more aerodynamic or something? Inquiring minds want to know, Brucie.)

I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)

If he were sexually active he’d definitely have a praise kink—both giving and receiving. He’d shower his partner with compliments and absolutely melt when his partner reciprocates 💖

[vclvetfleur]

Freak Show Chapter 1

Buggy x fem! reader

Summary: Y/n held her own crew to excellency. No games. They had to follow your rule and that was the end. You did gift them from time to time when deserved but if you were going to be Ruler of the Pirates and find the One piece, you needed to be taken seriously. But Buggy was your complete opposite. And he was determined to pull you down at whatever it costed him.

Word Count: 3k

Notes: I hope you guys enjoy. this is my first anime fan fic.

Chapter 1

You had been on the sea for weeks now, finally landing on some piece of land to loot and rob the town blind. It wasn’t hard. People seemed to severely underestimate you, despite your appearance. Your crew mate rushed to your quarter's door, knocking frantically. You quite weren’t ready to make your appearance, but the nuisance seemed to not stop even after you purposely ignored them. You laid down the face makeup, getting up from your chair to answer. You swung the door open, looking up at your crewmate.

 

“I’m so sorry to bother you…” They quickly apologized, not wanting to feel the wrath of your annoyance.

 

“Spit it out. What is it? What could you possibly have to bother me for?” You sneered at them.

 

They lowered their head, nervous, shaking to upset you with the news.

 

“What is it shithead?” You nearly shouted at them.

 

“Uhh- it might seem that we- we landed in occupied land.” They tried to gently put you down. You rolled your eyes, slamming the door in their face before going back to your vanity mirror.

 

You planned on checking out what they were even trying to tell you after you were finished getting ready. Thankfully you were mostly done. You added the finishing touches to your looks before slipping on your captain attire, a long lacey ruffled black dress. You left your quarters seeing your crew mate still waiting for you.

 

“What the fuck is wrong?” You asked once again as you were making your way up to the main deck. You looked around to see everyone waiting for you. They all stared, frightened to upset you. “What is it?” You asked.

 

“I fear we landed somewhere that another crew occupied.” Another crewmate stepped forward to inform you. You pinched the bridge of your nose, letting out a huff as you scanned through options of what to exactly do from here. “I guess we’ll have to rob them too. Who is it?” You asked. They all said nothing. You rolled your eyes, not even wanting to listen any longer. “Lets go! Grab your swords and let’s get to it.” You lead them. You grabbed your sword from your quarters quickly, attaching the belt for it over your hips. You put on a thigh knife holder, strapping it on tightly before pulling the skirt over it. You headed out and left your ship, leaving a few of your crew to keep watch of the ship, under the leadership of your most trusted, Lilian.

 

Lilian has been on your crew since you started it. You grew up together after a pirate crew swarmed your town and destroyed everything. You were left alone until you and Lilian found each other. Since then, you’ve never left the others side.

 

You trusted her with your life. God knows how many times she’s saved it.

 

You wondered the empty desolate town, seeing houses and markets broken into. Everything seem to be tossed or burnt down in hopes for some loot. But nothing was of value to them apparently. You ordered a few crewmates to search and take 3 or 4 people with them to find something good to bring on the ship. You had mouths to feed.

 

You felt a smack fall against your head as you dropped to the floor. You looked up to see a gloved hand flying. Buggy… You got up quickly looking around for the clown. “Come out! Don’t fucking hide like last time coward!” You shouted into the air before feeling a sweep underneath you. You hit your head on an empty cart, losing consciousness. You were slowly regaining it back before seeing fog come into your sight and eventually knocking out.

 

Your crew got swarmed and was taken hostage as it seemed as you were being carried away. A few crewmembers tried to fight off the hands that grabbed onto you all the meanwhile trying to fight the hand so I grabbed onto them.

 

You were awoken to the side of bars in front of you and a large crowd. Typical.

 

The only way buggy would ever get a crowd to actually want to watch a show was kidnapping them and forcing applause.

 

You looked around, seeing tears in peoples eyes as a large smile was planted over their lips. The lights were dim before a spotlight was shined upon you.

 

You knew you could easily get out but you wanted to witness the shit show that would eventually play out.

 

Applauses were forced on the crowd as a jester held a sign, walking around and threatening the crowd to clap for their big opener. You crossed your lips across the other, laying your back against the bars as you watched what was going to eventually unfold in front of you. You waited with anticipation, knowing Buggy had nothing on you. He knew none of your weaknesses and yet you knew all of his.

 

“Everyone hold your hands together for Genuis Jester, The Cackling Fool…” Buggy’s crew announced to the crowd.

 

“The big red-nosed freak!” You yelled out. That surely will get a reaction out of it. And you were right.

 

He walked out of the shadows, his long beige penny-line coat swinging from behind him as he furiously stomped out from the darkness. “Stop! Stop! Did you freaks forget to tape this one's mouth shut? You know how much she loves to talk. Have we learned nothing?” He screamed at his crew of freaks. He let out a deep breath, holding his composure before finally letting it go. “regardless. You’ve all been acquainted I assume. I am Buggy! You’re main act. And this tonight is my lovely assistant. What’s your name sweetheart?” He turned to you. Your eyes squinting at his, your lips curled in an annoyed manner. “Oh piss off.” You rolled your eyes.

 

Buggy’s amusement grew, his lips suppressing a giggle from escaping his red painted lips. It pleased him how annoyed you got easily. It just would in turn end in a good fight.

 

This clearly wasn’t the first you’ve met. You’ve never liked Buggy, and you both ended up in some kind of odd competition that mostly seemed one-sided. You raided places and he would either try to rob you blind or get their first. But in turn, you’d rob him right back. You had encountered each other the first time when your crew had run into his ship on the East Blue where you did what any pirate with a 20,000,000 bounty would do. You ordered your crew to sneak onto his ship and rob him. Stealing weapons, food, treasures, and most importantly maps. That day ended in a years-long battle between the two of you, trying to be the worst versions of each other. Your bounties only got higher as you both tried to defeat one another, but it also just made you both bigger targets.

 

“Oh sweetheart… is that really a way to talk to your captor? You are in a cage after all. Might wanna be careful what you say.” He warned.

 

“Let’s not play games Puggy…” Your voice was deadpan, showing no fear or interest in what he had to say. You wanted this to hurry up. Any minute wasted could be time used to find the One Piece and make you the Ruler of Pirates. That was your only dream and Buggy made it way harder for some reason. His weird obsession with you was always puzzling.

 

“It’s Bugg-“ He tried to correct you.

“I know freak. Now hurry up.” You cut him off.

 

Your head slammed against the wall of the cages as a detached gloved hand gripped your jaw, thumb gripping tightly on one side and the rest of the clawed into the other. His pointed finger laid across your lips, shushing you.

 

“Would you just enjoy the show for once? God you talk a lot. More than me, I think. What do you guys think, huh?” He turned his attention to the audience. You had to give it to him. He was a natural performer. Even if nothing went his way, he would pick up where it fell and continue. Nothing stopped him. The show must always go on. “These lovely people spent a lot to come see me. Don’t ruin it for them, alright doll? Now again… tell us your name…” He finally turned over to you. He kneeled in front of the cage, his hand releasing it’s grip from your face and back onto his body.

 

You sighed, holding your face, feeling a mark already forming on your jaw. “my name is y/n… future leader and ruler of pirates.” You lazily introduced yourself.

 

“See was it so hard to perform for an audience? Wait- do you have stage fright? Does this- does all this frighten you?” He tried to get a rise out of you.

 

You just shook your head at him, trying to find a way to escape without causing a scene. His back was finally turned to you as he began to perform and speak to the crowd of hostages, their hands and ankles chained to the floor. “Now what act do you think my lovely new assistant should perform with me first, huh?” He asked.

 

You focused your energy on working your abilities as you seemingly disappeared to everyone. You pulled a pickpocket from your boots and began to work on the lock before finally getting it open. Once the door slowly opened you felt a sudden fist across your cheek. You reappeared as your body slammed against the floor.

 

One of the reasons Buggy was so fascinated with you as you were one of the rare pirates he’d met with abilities of the Devil Fruit. You ate it while scrounging for food after your town was destroyed, finding the fruit locked away in what once was a grocery store. It wasn’t locked but was protected by a door in the storage. You desperately ate the entire thing and minutes later discovered your new ability. Invisibility.

 

“How the fuck did you see me?” You shouted, hand on cheek. “Lucky guess.” Buggy let out a high pitched chuckle as he stood over you.

 

You in turn mocked his laugh before feeling his boot make an impact with your stomach. You gripped your sides tightly before focusing your energy once more. You disappeared once again. You ran away before making a run towards Buggy and jumping up, landing a kick into his chest. He fell, you bouncing off of him before rolling and tumbling yourself. You watched him quickly get up, watching the floor for your footprints. He had this setting planned. You couldn’t hide from the sandy floor, every movement you made showing where you truly were.

 

“Oh, come on, don’t hide now. What’s the fun in that? I haven’t even shown off what I can do!” He laughed manically as he tried to find where you were. He sees footprints coming into his view before pulling his body apart. They flew in whatever direction he saw the marks in the sand were being made, eventually getting to you.

 

You fell down once more, his hands gripping each of your wrists tightly before his boot came into spot of your stomach once more, adding pressure. His body parts flew back together, his whole body standing over you. He kneeled down, hands tightening their grip on your wrists, marking them with his hands. His boot was replaced with his knee as he leaned in closer to you. “Oh no, did the rat finally get caught?” His lips curled into a giant shit-eating grin, showing all of his teeth. His eyes squinting with glee and pleasure of seeing you this way. “What the fuck is this for? Huh? What’s this obsession with me?” You spitefully spoke. Your eyes locked with his, trying to get a reading on what he exactly had planned. “I’m not joining your show.”

 

“You really don’t have a choice when you're under me like this darling.” He teased. “Hmmm what should we do with you? Hmm?” His painted-on eyebrows raised as if he would actually listen to you. You opened your mouth to only be shushed by the clown again. “OH! How about knife throwing?” He asked. His hands transferred one of your wrists under the grip to his other hand, freeing his one hand, but keeping yours securely under his. He let his hand drop down to the skirt of your dress, lifting it up. His fingers glazing over your skin. He made sure to keep the anticipation of the show as slow as possible as he lifted the skirt over your thighs to reveal the garter holding your knife against your skin.

 

“This looks like a good one… ooo sharp too? Did you sharpen it today just for me, doll? How sweet?” He teased before calling on his freaks to grab you off the floor. You tried to break free but to no avail.

 

Your wrists were once again held captive as Buggy’s gang of freaks tightly wrapped the straps against your skin. You pushed back enough hoping you’d get yourself out of it.

 

“Now… let’s see a real trick…” Buggy claimed as he tossed your knife up in the air, catching the handle once it came down from the air. “I will be tossing these at this lovely lady… But… while we cannot see her… doesn’t that sound fun?” He asked the audience, one of his freaks holding up an applause sign, forcing them to agree with him. He turned back to you, turning his head to the side as he slipped his coat off, exposing his toned arms. “Come on my dark and gloomy princess… why don’t you give them what they want? I’m pretty sure we don’t want anyone to see you spinning around in a skirt anyway. Plus, we can then see how good of an aim I really am.” He continued to convince. You pulled on your restraints enough, trying to figure out your escape plan.

 

You looked at Buggy with a pleading look. “Come on. Do your little trick. Don’t you trust me to know what I’m doing? Now once this starts spinning, you’re gonna perform your disappearing act, okay?” He tried to convince you. You knew he wasn’t going to care to aim. He was just gonna throw knives at the board. He had no regard for you. Why would he? One of his freaks came by, making sure you were securely in. You noticed the painted-on face. Your lips curved into a smirk before going back to the act of feared prisoner for Buggy. The wheel began to spin, your wrists and ankles now more freed after you had one of your crew disguised themselves as one of Buggy’s freaks to loosen your restraints. The grabbed the corner and spun you around as past as possible. You focused and made your disappearing act. You had to act quick. You quickly tugged one of your wrists out of the restraint and undid the next hand. You grabbed the buckles of each restraint pulling them off. The wheel spun too quickly for Buggy to even notice them being undone.

 

You climbed on the back of the wheel, standing on the pole that held the wheel. You continued to make it spin as you gripped the sides and pushed. You didn’t want Buggy to be suspicious. You felt a thud go against the board, a knife sticking out from the wood. You let out a quick faked yelp, hoping Buggy bought it. Hopefully your acting skills were up to par with your sneaking skills.  You watched Buggy carefully before planning your attack. You bent your knees before hurling your body towards his. You extended your leg out towards him, kicking him in the chest. You grabbed the knives from his side belts and held your own against his throat.

 

“Try it. It’s not the first time you’ve cut my head off.” Buggy begged you on.

 

“You're right. It isn’t… But hey… quick question… Where’s the freak holding the sign?” You asked him.

His head turned to see none of his crew around. Slowly as the show went on, your crew carefully and quietly took them out, most of them backstage.

 

“Maybe next time don’t hire a man to take out 4 to 5 people at the same time…” You whispered in his ear before taking the knife against his throat. His head off his body before spotting one of your crew mates in a clown costume with a bag. You threw the head their way before they caught Buggy’s head in the sack, tying it up. “See you Binkly!” You shouted before hopping off of him. You grabbed the bag from your crew, attached it to a rope that held the sandbags and reeled him high up.

 

“Fucking idiot…” You giggled before feeling a smack go against your head. You forgot Buggy’s body could still move without his head. He was like a chicken. You and your crew rushed out as you had found out the plan from the rest. They took out Buggy’s crew and looted the town while the rest came to save you. This would lead into a reward for the entire crew. They deserved it after all.

 

You went to the ship, making sure everyone arrived safely before departing. You searched for every piece of loot that was brought pack, pleased with everything you found. But best of all, a poster of your new wanted poster with the new bounty for your head. You were surely going to hang this up in your quarters.

“Everyone! Amazing work today! It didn’t go as smooth as hoped, but I’m glad to see where your loyalty lies. So with that… let me show you mine… You can all have a choice of the pile of loot today and… a celebration.” You announced. You were going to bring out the finest liquor you stored in your quarters. You ordered two crew members to bring out the barrels and ordered the chef on duty to get first pick before preparing for the major feast you planned tonight. Thankfully they brought back enough food for a feast.

You unfortunately did not feel like joining along with your crew. You decided to go to your quarters and spend the rest of the night alone. You looked at the window, watching the sky collide with the dark sea. This is definitely not what you imagined your life to be. But plans never work out the way you imagined. You spent the rest of the night just daydreaming, knowing this is what your life was. And you were content.