#Every superfan deserves for it

[bogunicorn]

i'm bored so it's time to throw rocks*, here are the types of reality tv/game shows i think the inquisition companions would watch

cassandra would watch one of those romance ones, like too hot to handle or love is blind, and get really, really invested. she's active on the reddits for her favorite shows. all of the cheesy, painfully heterosexual-but-strangely-sanitized reality TV horniness works well on her, she's the intended audience 100%. she's genuinely sad about it when couples break up after the show ends.

varric likes interpersonal dramas and gossip and backstabbing, he watches the vh1 dating shows. he knows most of it is fake, but that's what he likes about it, and he appreciates the classics. anything with "of love" in it, he loves it, he's there. he thinks newer shows work too hard to convince people they're actually real because he thinks embracing the fakeness makes it more fun.

solas has been watching reality tv since the OG: survivor. he's seen every season. he has very strong opinions about play strategies and a personal ranking of the best players of all time just ready to go if you just ask. he's convinced he would win if he was on it, but deep deep down he knows he would never get the votes to win at the end because he'd be seen as a villain and won't apply.

vivienne thinks she's above this kind of garbage tv, but she actually really likes the masked singer. she's pretty good at guessing the celebrities, but she doesn't put much effort into guessing after a point. she's in it entirely to relax and quietly fantasize about being on it herself, because so much of her life is about playing games of intrigue and survival and perception. she records the episodes and skips most of the judging because she doesn't think the judges are funny and gets annoyed when they make stupid guesses.

sera likes the obstacle course-type shows like wipeout and the floor is lava. anything where people have to come up with creative solutions and also might get hit with a giant thing made of foam and get smacked around like a rag doll. sera has been trying to convince people to team up with her and apply for this type of show for ages and it never works out. she also likes the really weird off-brand ones that only ever get one season, like who wants to be a superhero or opposite worlds.

blackwall likes the circle. he always quietly roots for the catfish. no reason.

iron bull is a drag race superfan. come on, one of them had to be. he's been watching since the season 1 vaseline filter days. he approaches each new season with the masculine seriousness of a suburban dad planning a fantasy sports lineup and correctly predicts every winner three episodes in. he would absolutely volunteer for a makeover episode if he could. his favorite queens are usually the pageant queens; he likes the sparkly ones, and the pageant queens always end up covered in rhinestones.

dorian loves innovation and being judgy, so he loves shark tank and anything similar. he enjoys episodes with absolutely terrible inventions just as much as the good ones, and is the kind of viewer who actually will go ahead and buy something he saw on the show -- including the really stupid ones, because he gives them to his friends as joke gifts.

cole watches those shows that are equal parts talent competition and sappy backstories, like american idol, x-factor, the voice, stuff like that. he always cries a little when someone does a ballad. he never votes because he can never decide who deserves to win the most, and he doesn't watch the results shows because they make him too sad.

cullen watches HGTV and gets belligerent if you point out that house hunters is fake. unclear if that's because he thinks you're being a wet blanket or because it was news to him and he doesn't want to admit it.

josephine likes strategy and competition, but the grime, physical danger, and "eat this gross thing" challenges of survivor aren't fun to her. instead, she's really into big brother. josephine is convinced that she would win big brother if she was ever on it, and she's correct, but she can't take the time off work.

leliana is an OG ANTM fan. she'll dabble in other shows that center on makeup and fashion, but she always ends up going back to the classics and the older seasons, as she feels like the current era of ANTM is too gimmicky and self-aware. the human rights violations are allowed if they make good TV.

*this is for fun don't actually throw things at me please

**also if you like this and think "i'm gonna give this fine person a follow because they're so funny about dragon age", i made a new DA sideblog at @skyholdstarbucks where i'd post anything similar to this in the future

[nateofgreat]

I've got to say, Ahsoka's cultivated the most excuses for anything she does over the course of her story. And by excuses, I don't mean valid and logical explanations, just the fandom picking up on the way the meta justifies everything she does and doing the same thing in turn.

-Ahsoka acts rude throughout the Clone Wars.

"She's so young and inexperienced. She doesn't know any better!" :(

-Forty-something Ahsoka acting the same way.

"She's been through so much!" :(

-Ahsoka makes herself look super guilty and thus draws the Jedi Council's suspicion during the Wrong Jedi Arc?

"What else was she supposed to do? NOBODY (Except Anakin and the Council initially) trusted her!!!" >:(

-Ahsoka loses all personality and becomes as a dull as rock.

"The Jedi Order BETRAYED HER! How can we expect that to have not wiped out her personality for thirty years?" :(

-Ahsoka forgives Anakin for slaughtering the Jedi, becoming a tyrannical Sith Lord, and trying to kill her. While refusing to forgive the Jedi and implying they deserved their genocide?

"She's completely right! The Jedi didn't trust her one time! So they had it coming!" >:(

-Ahsoka abandons the Rebellion to go off and do her own thing, something that's never specified?

"She had good reason to ditch the Rebellion unlike those stinky old Jedi!" >:(

-Ahsoka encounters and survives every threat in her lifetime? Be it Grievous, Ventress, Cad Bane (I'll give her this one), Sidious, Vader, Maul, Baylan, and even knocking Anakin and Obi-Wan around in the Mortis arc. Either by extraordinary luck or literal magical intervention in the form of the World-Between-Worlds?

"She was trained by the Chosen One! And she's really good for her age." :D

-Ahsoka kills an Inquisitor in one move after lazing around on a farm for years, letting her skills get rusty. After having only received about three years of battle training?

"Awesome!" :D

-Ahsoka holds a spark of the Goddess of Light's power within herself and is followed around by her pet bird despite constantly acting out of passion, fear, rage, etc?

"She's the purest of all Jedi and what they should really be!" :D

At this point, Ahsoka could appear in a pillar of light in the middle of Return of the Jedi and scream; "I AM YOUR GODDESS NOW!" kill Sidious, and rearrange the cosmos into her image and people would find an excuse for it.

Obviously, I'm not referring to normal fans of the character and I honestly don't blame the superfans either. This is just how Dave Filoni's written her and its rubbed off on the fandom.

[yolowritter]

In Defense of Chloe Bourgeois Part 2: Why is Chloe?

Hello everyone! In case it wasn't obvious by the title, this is a part 2 to this post right there! I'd sincerely recommend reading it since you'll need the context. Anyhow, moving right onto where I left off!

[...]

Okay...deep breath. In and out. I'm...totally fine. Anyway, considering all of the above, it's pretty clear that Chloe has a lot of problems. Mental Health problems, to be exact. And natually, this circles back to her bigget fault in this entire show. Bullying the main character. Now, bullying sucks. It's bad, don't do it. This is coming from a person who got relentlessly bullied for years on end by the way, so I'm on Marinette's side here! She's right not to trust Chloe in Vanisher, because she's fourteen and has years worth of trauma related to this girl! In her experience Chloe is never helpful, and often the antithesis of that word. Sure, Ladybug should have looked past that as part of her job, but Chat Noir doesn't either! The only reason he ever gives her the benefit of the doubt is because it's Adrien under the mask! So as far as I'm concerned, Marinette didn't do anything wrong (yet) with how she handled Chloe. And any mistakes she does make are if not justifiable then at least understadable given their history. But on the Chloe side of things, she has every reason to hate Marinette. From all the classmates we have info on, Marinette is the only one with a happy, complete and loving family in the way that Chloe has always wished her's way. Obligatory reminder that Alya wasn't in their class until Origins. We never see Alix or Sabrina's moms, I'm half convinced Nino's parents don't exist because they've never been mentioned once the whole show, Max and Juleka only have their moms and possinly daddy issies, etc. Something ain't right with any of the familial situations here. So obviously, when Chloe sees someone who she's been taught by Audrey (again, her role model in formative years) is "beneath" her, as in, fundementally inferior to their own existence, and Marinette has a loving family that adores her unconditionally, is it any fucking wonder she acts out???

Again! And this is the last time I'll say it! So sing along, everyone! ~Bullying is bad! Don't do it kids!~ What Chloe does (even without that horrendous spider-pool-thing of a retcon) is obviously wrong!!! Okay??? It's bad!!! Because hurting other to feel better is a shitty thing to do! Nevermind that it doesn't work!!! I am not going to repeat myself again! But the root of Chloe's problems is her family. She's been raised by two (barely one, but let's pretend) people who make me wonder if parenting licences should be a thing, and are prime examples of the fact while every kid deserves a parent, the opposite is very much not true! Marinette effortlessly has what Chloe craves, parental love! And at the time they first meet, they should both be like 9 or 10! Obviously Chloe takes things too far, but considering she's emotionally stunted and the people around her have to do as she says, no wonder she's royally pissed the moment she encounters something that she can't throw daddy's money at and win! That's what Audrey taught her is correct, and what Andre constantly encourages!

Understanding all of this, we circle back to Style Queen. Fucking Style Queen, man. Chloe accidentally finds the Bee Miraculous. And honestly? The argument of "Marinette shouldn't have dropped it" is fucking ridiculous. Listen, the coffee cup in Sentibubbler I can understand, but don't grasp at straws like this. For Nooroo's sake! Moving right along, dear God does this go badly. Up to this point, we've got a vague idea that Chloe is willing to help Ladybug and Chat Noir (aside from just being a self-proclaimed superfan), given that she did so in Vanisher, Despair Bear, and possibly another episode that I'm forgetting about. Doesn't matter. So now, Chloe Bourgeois is in possession of a magical macguffin that gives her heroes their superpowers. Naturally, this is a pretty big thing. Unfortunately, Chloe doesn't even get the chance to be responsible here, because Audrey immediately goes on a rant about how useless she is and how she could never be "exceptional". Aka: hits all of Chloe's trauma buttons with a Greathammer. Wonderful job, local Karen! This immediately prompts Chloe to take what she knows is exceptional (superpowers) and flaunt it in her mother's face. She transforms in a room full of people, including Gabriel Agreste, but I don't care about him in this rant, and runs out to try and find a crime to stop!

Because of course, heroes do good things! But you know, helping an old lady cross the street or rescuing a kitten isn't exactly "exceptional material" so Chloe instantly goes for the heavy hitters. And has the incredibly stupid idea of the whole train wreck bs. Yes, I know it was a subway or something, I don't care. The point stands. Naturally, stupidity attracts dumbassery, and so the local watermelon and her furry companion show up to put a stop to Chloe's shenanigans. Kudos to Ladybug by the way, for recognizing the situation for the problematic mess that it was and trying to comfort Chloe. Excellent character delevopment from Marinette here. Unironically I love that she still does this even though she doesn't have to. Nowhere in the superhero manual does it say "talk to your bully because she's having a shitty moment with her abusive mother", but Marinette does it anyway because she's cool like that. And then...a miracle happens! Praise Nooroo, because Chloe "Queen B" Bourgeois apologizes for causing a mess! I can't believe it! And then...Nadja does what reporters do best, and screws everything up. As an aside, can you tell I don't like "reporter" characters? This goes for Alya too, I hate it when they insert themselves in clearly private situations for the sake of a "scoop". My sister in Nooroo, if it's a scoop you want then go interview Andre Glacier! I do like Alya, got a whole "In Offense to..." post about her in the works. And I promise not to bash her. It's the writing's fault.

Anyway, back to Nadja being an idiot. Because naturally, a child is in emotional distress! And even more naturally, she decides the best way to handle a clearly fragile situation in a city where people get turned into violent supervillains for feeding the goddamn pigeons (lookin' at you, Xavier!) is to...live stream it on television. For the entire country of France! And even more naturally, she also gets Chloe's abusive mother on the line so the child in question can be belittled on NATIONAL TELEVISION for what she already knows is wrong, and has been handled by the proper authority. Because I don't trust a single adult in this universe, Ladybug is a thousand times more reliable! Like seriously, she's just been Akumatized!

Does Nadja want it to happen again? Anyway, this utter debacle marks the beginning of Chloe's career as Queen Bee, the superhero Ladybug brings in when she needs to and then puts back in the box until next time! Mind you, I do not blame Marinette for this, considering that she acknowledges Chloe is capable and willing to help, even says so to her at one point. Then we go through Maledictator, Heart Hunter, Miraculer, etc. And it becomes pretty clear that Hawkmoth is actively targeting Chloe. Because, you know, she's the only Miraculous Holder whose identity was public. All the while, Chloe actually seems to mellow out a little bit in her civilian life. Sure, she does that hillarious thing where interviews Queen Bee which is honestly just funny and should have been given extra points for the effort of doing it herself instead of forcing Sabrina to do it for her. I mean that instead of encouraging Chloe's bad behavior by being unreasonably permissive, miss Bustier should encourage her good behavior little by little, like doing things on her own and the compliments thing she has the class do. To her credit, Chloe does seem to be trying, and slowly finding her footing with all these new dynamics. Even with Sabrina, she seems to be treating her better now. They play "Ladybug and Chat Noir" together, and all that stuff. I won't get into it here because I want to move onto the actual conclussion of this rant, but you get my point.

Despite all this, Chloe is still very...Chloe. But she does seem to be doing a little better. I'm fairly sure Marinette or at least Adrien acknowledges that at some point, but anyway. The reason why I think Chloe's behavior improves is because she finally feels like she belongs. In Team Miraculous, I mean. Sure, Ladybug is their leader who she listens to, but that's just the thing. Ladybug leads, she doesn't boss people around. And Chloe already looked up to her, and willingly chooses to follow. It's good for her, even if we're taking baby steps here. And then...Miracle Queen happens. I'll honestly be damned as to why Marinette got butchered here, because this is a fault of the writing. Like, I'm sorry, they build up this understanding that Chloe can't be Queen Bee anymore between her and Ladybug, and then just...take it away? H-how do you take away an established dynamic??? Not like this, that's how! People are saying Marinette should have sat Chloe down and explained things better, and yeah okay that would have helped, but you guys realize Gabriel was actively praying on her worst feelings, right? Gabriel who knows Chloe's family and also has emotional manipulation powers? All he had to do was feed into all these doubts one last time and get her to agree for like, five seconds. Akuma goes in, and she's on his side now!

And hot take? I like Miracle Queen! I like the direction they tried to take this in! Because it's clearly a "battling your inner demons" storyline, which fits perfectly with the fact that Chloe needs a good support system to function properly. She's still so deeply steeped into the crap that Andre and Audrey taught her that she needs help, and that's okay! For Nooroo's sake, needing help from your friends is completely okay! You should ask for it when you can't do something on your own! And Chloe does try to! She has a fucking Batman Signal knock-off on her rooftop! It's...certainly a method. Then again she doesn't have Ladybug's phone number, so... Anyway yeah. The thing is that I think it's okay for Chloe to need a support system, and then Gabriel takes advantage of her when said network isn't there. He's actively manipulating a child here. Yes, Chloe does give into his manipulation and by extension her own darker self, but I think that's the point. Or at least I perceive it as a "healing is hard, takes time, mistakes will be made alone the way" kinda thing. Which works regarldess of a "Redemption Arc" or no! if they wanted to redeem Chloe, then here's another huge conflict to work through! Here's something that ruined the trust she had with Ladybug and left them both vulnerable! Here's a really cool plot thread that can be explored between Chloe and Adrien, because he's the only who as far as Chloe knows, doesn't hate her (which would be logical to assume for Ladybug given what she did). You want to go "Corruption Arc"? Welp, here's a tale of caution! Here's a display of Hawkmoth as a competent villain who utterly decimated Ladybug's team! Here's a reason for Chloe to defensively slip back into old patterns and emphasize that she's bitter towards her friends because nobody helped her! Again, great character conflict! Beautiful idea, a fine message even!

Surpring absolutely nobody, Thomas Astruc does neither of these. Or rather, he tries to do both, and fails at both. Let's keep the Chloe point for a bit longer before we bring Zoe into this mess, okay? The problem I have with Miracle Queen is that it fundementally half-asses the above, in quite possibly the stupidest way possible. Like I said above, it was previously established (I'm fairly sure in Miraculer) that Chloe understood she couldn't be Queen Bee anymore. And yeah okay she seemed bummed, but still got Ladybug's reasoning. Because you know, Marinette talked to her about it! And then the show just...forgets this happened??? I get that Chloe wants to be a hero, which I think is probably her only halfway healthy coping mechanism for all the crap she's dealing with, but she's clearly shown to agree with Ladybug's decision, even begrudgingly. And suddenly, with almost no fanfare or buildup, Gabriel "Mothballs" Agreste swoops in for a glory kill and manipulates Chloe into getting Akumatized. Again, I know this is a "battle with her inner demons" thing, but it genuinely doesn't matter! Because Hawkmoth is grooming her right now! Aside from the horrible connotation of the word, it also refers to general manipulation of a person's mental state. But you know what peeves me greatly? This seems to happen instantly! I would have loved it if we took two or three episodes to show Chloe being upset over losing the one place (Team Miraculous) where she felt accepted, I would have liked to see her talk to Sabrina about how she feels like shit because she can't help Ladybug anymore. Even better, an outburst where despite logically understanding that she's right, Chloe blames Ladybug for taking the easy way out of the Queen Bee problem.

Let's face it, Ladybug did take the easy solution here. Now, I don't blame Marinette at all for this. She's fourteen, has the world's weight on her shoulders, a very poor history with Chloe, and took the Bee Miraculous away because she thought that this would keep her teammate safe. Marinette did the best she could, with good intentions! Personally I think Fu should have stepped in here at least indirectly, but he's a poor mentor to Ladybug anyway (yes I have a "In Offense to..." post for him in mind) so of course paranoid Fu wouldn't involve himself. The point is that neither Marinette or Chloe are actually at fault for Queen Bee getting benched. It's a shitty situation that only delays the inevitable bomb from dropping on the heroes' heads by just a bit longer. Now, during this lull in storytelling, Hawkmoth should have tried approaching Chloe again. You know, send another Akuma maybe as she's venting to Sabrina about how she hates the situation she's been placed in. As a reminder, Chloe is the first person to reject an Akuma in this entire show. So for her to again (if more reluctantly) refuse Gabriel's offer to team up would be in character. A second interaction here could have forshadowed Miracle Queen better. Maybe Chloe pauses after Hawkmoth is done pitching his plan, and then after a second or two, she throws him out of her head. Give us another episode where's struggling, and I think her "turn to the Dark Side" in Miracle Queen would have been received much less poorly than it actually did.

This isn't to say that Chloe shouldn't have accepted Hawkmoth's offer. In my opinion, it's a good thing that she did, because it builds character. Even if I "Redemption Arc" had always been the goal, they absolutely could have still done this, so long as it got even a little bit of buildup. And...we again to the fundemental problem I have with Astruc's writing. I know there's other people in the room as well, but it's he who is the "lead writer" and who also made the most buzz about this choice online after Miracle Queen first released. Thomas just...doesn't know how to build up major events. With the sole exception of Shadowmoth's Last Attack, which I have nothing but praise for as a finale, Thomas literally never bothers showing us anything. This is also a problem I have with Gabriel's eventual spiral of insanity, because while "show don't tell" is a good policy to have, even "tell" is a much better option than nothing at all! The reason why Miracle Queen feels so bloody jarring is because for the first and last time in this show's history...they mostly managed to build up a proper Character Arc. Except Thomas and Co. fumbled at the end, and didn't devote almost any time to the entire Season's payoff!

I unironically believe this is just a targeted attack meant to drive anyone with common sense completely and utterly mad, because they spent twenty-something episodes building up to Miracle Queen...and failed to explain why it even happened. I mean yeah, "Gabriel bad, he has a plan, it actually works for once" is what we get, but this is a logical fallacy in and of itself, because if it was the plan from the beginning, then why isn't there any buildup for the final part of this character development? Thomas' failure to properly show the aftermath of Chloe's benching, and make it clear that she is falling into her bad habits again, therefore reverting to a "villain" character because she lacks the support system which helped her be a better person, is the exact reason why anyone is even arguing that there "should" have been a Redemption Arc in the first place!

Note again: Time for part 3, I promise I'm nearly done! Not like this took two weeks to write or something!

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[whiskeyswifty]

it's so fascinating, because i feel like the reverse is true for 1989 for a lot of swifties? critically acclaimed, incredibly solid and cohesive, but i've seen a lot of fans call it boring / overhyped / not deserving of its success (i've even seen people think reputation is her best pop album, not 1989). i think it really goes to show how some of them truly cannot separate their attachment to taylor's life from the music (which is understandable, i absolutely have artists i feel that way about) and it's so interesting

oh for sure, and i always say taylor wrought this upon herself by utilizing the almost "whodunnit" aspect of who she's writing songs about to generate interest in her early years. very smart, as the subjects were often other famous people and it made her music very juicy. and once she got you on the hook and you started listening, the songs themselves were excellent and you fell in love with them regardless of, and sometimes in spite of, who they were about. amazing marketing tactic, however self sacrificing it was!

but not everyone advanced to that level unfortunately, and a lot of superfans are in that bucket. it's so funny because they'll act like they're the most protective of her, the most adoring of her, and the most dedicated to her happiness, and yet they dissect every song, every article, every *ahem* surprise song, and every single breath she takes to definitively say they know what she's thinking and feeling. which is.... insane to think you know that... because.... of a facial expression she made for a split second in a grainy tiktok video?? but because of that, they assign a meaning to certain songs/eras that simply isn't there, or a conclusion they feel they "uncovered" thanks to "clues," that was never corroborated by taylor herself. those arbitrary and completely unfounded meanings weight their opinions more or less in different directions, often little to do with the song itself. meanwhile the rest of the world is just listening to the music and forming opinions based on their opinion of whether or not they like the music and if it resonates with them. that accounts for the often canyon sized gap between public opinion and swiftie superfans' opinions.

I think there's also a little bit of the unique ownership phenomenon thing as well. that happens in fandom spaces all over. you see it particularly when a body of artistic work or content finds wide appeal, and the "core fans" may feel anxious that they're being lumped into the masses and that they need to prove how they love The Thing in a deeper or more dedicated way than those stupid, bandwagon masses. prove to themselves even how long they've been there, how they know the content in an intimate way that everyone else doesn't, etc etc. so a lot of times, they'll reject something that maybe they once loved but turned out to have extremely wide appeal, like a main character or a popular single/album. instead, they will latch onto one of the least widely appreciated aspects of body of work, the deep cuts if you will, and claim ownership over it. that's their song or character or whatever. to them, the fact that they loved it the most when nobody else did signals to other casual fans or even fandom members that they deeply appreciate this body of work in a way that is soooo dedicated. they may genuinely love it, which is great, but they then assign this outsized "you don't get it but IIIII do" meaning to it. that's where the bias skews reality, that The Thing is actually a secret masterpiece and only their super dedicated brain could unlock it via their deep and unparalleled connection to the material.... or in this case self described direct connection to taylor herself. which is...... well exactly what it sounds like.

but once again, not their fault, as reputation specifically was almost a return to form for taylor, marketing-wise. she's the one that poured gasoline on that feeling every night on tour, telling the audience that they were the most loyal, they understood her while the rest of the world didn't. because of that, reputation will always be special between her and you, the most loyal fan. she assigned an outsized meaning outside of the music, or even the purported subject of the music itself once again, not the fans really. it's very effective, and you can see the echoes of that impression she made on them to this day in the unique way the rabid ones will defend an album that means something very carnal to them inexplicably and disproportionately to the rest of her work.

it's not all rep fans, certainly not. just like any other album, some people simply genuinely like it and they're very normal about it and are people who just like music like a normal person and don't care if someone else doesn't like it. they can take criticism of it, and critique it themselves, and may also enjoy 1989 equally! but the rabid ones, the ones who will defend rep in the "you don't get it" way, their whole defense of rep, unlike any other album in her oeuvre, has little to do with the merit of the music and more to do with this deeply impactful experience they had. which is fine and i'm happy for them that they had an experience that they remember fondly, but how strongly they cling to it makes for someone who isn't very good at having a genuine, productive conversation about an artistic work.

also i'm always like, getaway car is in my top songs for sure, why are you yelling at me. i wouldn't trade reputation for anything if it meant giving up my beloved getaway car. we are on the same team here why are you fighting with me!!!

[fledbeast578]

alright, alright, be a proper hater this time. 9, 10, 24 and 25

9. worst part of canon

Worst part of canon is all the bs explanations they do to try and justify why a servant isn't able to be summoned. "Oh Antonio Salieri isn't famous enough to be summoned!" "There's no mystery with Thomas Edison, he'd be a phantom spirit!"

10. worst part of fanon

I think the part I hate most are the fate stay night superfans. Yes fsn is really good, arguably my favorite entry even. But holy shit there are a few blogs absolutely obsessed with it, and every other post is ranting about how fsn is the best thing to grace the other, and how all the other fate stuff is possible and will never come close to the light that is stay night.

On the other side of the hand, I hate how much people try to make Guda special. They have to be summoned as a savior class servant or whatever, they have to be the only one who can calm down avenger class servants, they have to be the most specialist protagonist.

Another thing I hate is what I like to call "Trauma-Scaling", which is something that I've found to be relatively exclusive to fate. People will argue ad nauseam about how Shirou had the roughest childhood, or how mentally ill and traumatized Ritsuka is (Completely ignoring Vinci, Mash, etc THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN THERE WITH THEM, noooo it has to be Ritsuka with the ptsd, it has to be ritsuka who's summoned as the avenger/berseker class servant. I've seen it done well in a non cringy way once, and it was with a Gudako x Phantom comic.), and as soon as I saw the discussion start with Iori too I rolled my eyes. People genuinely seem to think what makes a good character is how traumatized they are.

24. topic that brings up the most rancid discourse

Any discussion on who 'deserves' to be summoned as a servant, because it's like talking to a brick wall. Objectively, a servant being famous does not matter, from a watsonian perspective they might say it does, but it simply doesn't, the writers will add whoever they want to add. Ffs Mandricardo didn't even have a wikipedia page before he was in fgo, and people tell me THOMAS EDISON is objectively not able to be summoned in fate, and he wasn't just made the way he was because a writer thought it sounded cool.

Lu Bu is someone people are surprisingly really annoying about to, since people parrot that line about him being too dangerous to summon as any class but berserker. THIS IS IN SPITE OF THE FACT THAT WE HAVE SUMMONED LIKE 12 AVENGER CLASS SERVANTS, WHOSE ENTIRE SHTICK IS SUPPOSED TO BE WANTING TO KILL HUMANITY, yet someone people can't fucking fathom us just summoning Lu Bu Rider as a rogue servant and becoming friends with him or whatever.

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

I am sick and tired of people saying that main characters and their servants are 'slept on' and are 'hated by the devs' because they aren't in every other event. Like motherfucker play Fate/Extra, play Fate/Stay Night (Or read the 10 or so spin-offs that have the exact same characters), these characters have an unbelievable amount of spotlight, quit bitching just because they didn't put Tamamo as the main character in fgo.

[forgottenvice]

Migrating some of my twitter threads here for posterity and all that

Some #cumplane #svsss discord musings that I'm putting here so I don't forget about them. All starting because I found this gif

Airplane Shooting towards the sky definitely wears this for his public appearances. Specifically at this one Con where superfan Peerless cucumber is planning to attend.

Shen Yuan has printed out every detailed rant and diatribe he's ever done on the book, printed it out and then had a friend bind it for him so he can give it to the hack author. His sister is coming with him so she can get his copy of PIDW signed in secret.

But SY starts having a very very bad con. His sister; being a little shit, convinces him cosplaying as his internet handle would be hilarious. He was never all that good at saying no to her.

Except nobody seems to get the joke. They keep calling him pickle rick!

Like he'd ever enjoy something so trashy as Rick and Morty

 He gets angrier and angrier when people stop him for photos. His sister is having a great time.

Unfortunately due to his stupid decision by the time they make it to Airplane's booth the line is cut off.

He had prepared so much for meeting the author to tell him to his face how much he'd wronged his main character and how Luo Binghe deserved happiness not a harem. But now he can't even get a glimpse of the man because his face is covered BY A FUCKING AIRPLANE MASK.

He can't even get his copy of PIDW signed on the DL by his sister because she missed the cutoff too. She has also by the way has abandoned him for some bayonetta cosplayer.

So he's stuck by himself in a stupid cucumber costume (IT'S NOT A FUCKING PICKLE!)  and his sister has the hotel key and he's tired and hungry and a little overwhelmed by the crowd. BUT HE'S NOT POUTING!

He's just regrouping in a quiet corner of the convention center.

If he was being honest he was seconds away from a meltdown. The only saving grace was that he was basically alone, except some asshole just had to ruin it walking right up to him and sitting down next to him.

"Rough day huh? is it the pickle costume?"

"IT'S NOT A FUCKING PICKLE!" Some how his outburst doesn't even phase the guy.

 "Okay, then what is it?"

"It's... a cucumber," That really doesn't sound better and the raised eyebrow he gets seems to agree, "It's a stupid joke about my internet handle."

"A joke that only one person would probably even get but I can't even see his reaction because the line got cut off and now I just feel like a dumbass."

 "Story of my life, so what's so important about this joke." Shen Yuan thinks this guy is mocking him but when he looks over.

there seems to be a mischievous curiosity behind the question. Before he knows it Shen Yuan is spilling his guts about the whole situation, it feels kind of good to rant about the whole thing.

 And he probably did go through maybe a little to much effort for a damn joke.

The stranger nods sagely throughout, politely listening to the whole story flipping through the bound copy of his critiques. He doesn't ad much but still it helps calm Shen Yuan down.

Rant over breathing heavily he looks to his audience for some sort of reaction.

The man looks at him solemnly, places a hand on his shoulder and utters.

 "That's rough buddy."

He then proceeds to stand up and walks a few steps down the hall before pulling something over his face.

A mask.

An Airplane Mask.

The now masked author gives him a thumbs up.

 "Nice to meet you cucumber bro!" before running away like the little shit he is.

SY feels his blood pressure rising.

IT WAS AIRPLANE THIS WHOLE TIME?!

He felt beyond embarrassed.

Thankfully his sister found him before he committed homicide.

 She pulled him to his feet and grabbed the bound critique and they made their way to the food vendors.

It wasn't until he was halfway through his greasy con fries when his sister pointed it out.

"I can't believe you got this signed?"

"What?" He hadn't worked up the courage to tell her yet but she was holding open his stupid rants about PIDW and on the inside cover was a signature.

"Cute pickle, Love Airplane"

[claireandacat]

Simping over middle aged actors who don’t know I exist. An essay.

Maybe it’s just a general lady thing, but I have a tendency to crush on actors 10+ years older than me. Am I a lonely 26 year old lady waiting for her happily ever after while my catholic match profile is crickets?

You got me there.

But like seriously it is a general human thing to find someone attractive and to feel feels. It’s in everything, life, movies, music, ballet, art, history. Don’t get me started on my favorite Corinthians verse about love.

I’ve been thinking about writing this post for a while now. I was basically inspired by Brittney Broski, who simps all the time and people relate to that and listen to her ramblings. I’m sure one other person out there is interested in hearing my simp interests. 😅😂

I have a top 5 of middle aged hot guys I absolutely love. All of these are crushes that started when I started getting crushes and I still find them attractive today as a 26 year old lady. In order of discovering and falling for them they are…

Ben Barnes

Robert Pattinson

Cillian Murphy

Sebastian Stan

Daniel Brühl

1. Ben Barnes

I was 11, snacks and dance class was life, the hormones were starting to kick in and the second Narnia movie had come out. I wasn’t much of a Narnia fan but I was forced to tag along with the after school program I was in to a showing of this movie as a last day of school celebration. Ben Barnes as Prince Caspian was FINE AF to my 11 year old eyes and heart. I fell for him like a ton of bricks and would get 11 year old girl fantasies of being Prince Caspian’s princess.

He is over 40 now and still fine as hell. His character in Shadow and Bone is amazing. He def plays dark personality characters very well. He has a singing career as well and his cover of River was in my top Spotify songs last year.

I love that he is in T-Mobile commercials now. He is perfect. He is THE ultimate hot British actor. I hope T-mobile paid him well because my man is talented and deserves to be more than just a face of T-Mobile. When I was stressed and on edge at my previous job at an urgent care, seeing his face on commercials always made my 12 hour shifts better.

I’m surprised he hasn’t been in some BBC new classic considering he is both British and adorable and would totally make a good heart throb protagonist?!

2. Robert Pattinson

I was in 6th grade and the Twilight books and craze was big at my middle school. Every other girl including myself was wearing team Edward or Team Jacob shirts. The Twilight movies also had come out. RPatz was the heartthrob of every girl. Move over Prince Caspian, Claire is grown and edgy and likes edgy hot guys that match 😂.

A couple years ago I watched his video on GQ where he takes a look into his career and decided to dive into some of these movies myself. His young self is cute as a button in the 4th Harry Potter movie even though his charming character has an unfortunate fate. He makes the perfect Batman, just add in the Chris Nolan plot and music and we got a perfect match. He totally captured the darkness and loneliness in Bruce Wayne/Batman.

Of course I HAD to see his Chris Nolan debut. If you read my other posts, you know I am a superfan for Christopher Nolan movies.

He is fine and cute in that movie. His performance is great. His performance in The King was also great. He def nailed that French accent.

He can be the American heart throb AND the British heart throb at the same time

3. Cillian Murphy

I’m 16. I’m into zombie movies and 28 days later is on BBC even though the plot and IMDb pictures are scary, I still ditch my chemistry homework to watch it. Totally fine with any nightmares I’ll probably get. Still my favorite zombie movie to this day and one of the few horror movies I’ll still watch since converting to Catholicism.

This is the first time I actually fell for an actor because of their performance and then I deep dived into other works he is casted in.

I love his intensity and dedication to roles as well as approach. Even during his small role in Dunkirk. I love the power and darkness he puts into Tommy Shelby. I mean have you seen the scenes where Tommy is in full blown rage? He goes from zero to rage effortlessly.

His performance in Oppenheimer deserves an Oscar and if he doesn’t get it I am rioting. He nailed the look. He nailed the sensory overload/overwhelmed looks. Just perfect.

I’d love to just have a Guinness with him and just discuss Irish culture and his career over.

4. Sebastian Stan

What is funny about this one is that for a bit I was a Steve Rogers stan. Like from ages 16-21 Steve was my man. That was until his friend Bucky stumbled upon in my dream one night. Originally that is how I knew Sebastian but then i stumbled upon The Devil All The Time where he has a small part as a corrupt small town sheriff and became curious.

Last summer I had a random dream about Sebastian whist I was simping on RPatz. Somehow my curiosity got me and I became a Bucky stan. Still to this day I simp over him, even though there’s another guy I’m simping over even stronger (see below).

He is just so fine and such a sweet human being. I read a buzz feed article about people who have met nice and cool celebrities and my Sebbys was on it. In that video he did for GQ of him reviewing his career, he is so humble, so genuine and always has something nice to say about everyone he works with.

And now the current middle aged actor I’m simping on…

5. Daniel Brühl

See my alienist blog post

Three words. Calm. Collected. German.

Well more like handsome, multilingual, and German 😂

Wes references aside, It all started with my curiosity with the movie Rush. I had only known Daniel as Zemo in the marvel movies so I thought let’s see his other filmography. I fell for Daniel like a pile of bricks. The eyes. The hair. The talent. It was really Dr. Laszlo Kreizler that did it for me. According to Niki Lauda himself (God Rest His Soul) Daniel is a “down to earth guy” like who doesn’t love that?! Plus being a wannabe #tradwife finds it so adorable that he has a wife and kids. I never want to cheat on those ever I’m not that lady. But there is something so cute to me about a man with a family. Then again that’s what all my fantasies are.

Like 🥹🥹🥹

He is a perf trad man vibes. Who doesn’t love that?! His character in Rush gives the same vibe too. I also love me a smart and sarcastic man like Dr. Kreizler. Then again I’ve been told Germans are just that way and being that I’m about 1/3 German I could just find that sexy in my blood 😂

In conclusion

I have one goal in common with these men. I want to see them each in a Chris Nolan movie AND a Wes Movie. Not one or the other. Both. Rpatz and Cillian are halfway there.

My top 5 of middle aged actors that I will forever simp on: honorable mentions

Matthew McConaughey - his performance in interstellar is so amazing I’m naming my son Joseph in honor of not only the OG St. Joseph himself but his character in Interstellar. Also is pro American and sometimes stars in comedies.

Adrian Brody- a Wes regular. And on Peaky Blinders. I love his variety. “I think it STINKS!!!”

Chris Evans- I was obsessed with him and Steve rogers during my late teens for a MINUTE. So he has to be included here.

Ryan Reynolds’s. He was pikachu and he is a family man and has a beautiful family with Blake Lively.

Honorable mentions but they’re actors I find hot but they’re my age (Oct 1996 or younger/older by 5 years)

Tom Holland. Fellow 1996 baby and I’m pretty sure he would’ve graduated in my class. Plus he is faithful, anti Hollywood actor, and a loveable dork. Also he does it all.

Timothee Chalamet- probs the Leo DiCaprio of my generation. Plus that jawline and hair. Hard to find a cutie with hair texture like mine.

Tony Ravilori. Also a fellow 1996 baby and Wes regular. Has a charming simplicity in his characters.

Freddie Highmore- I just love his performance in The Good Doctor.

If they’re my age I may have an expressed interest in their work because they’re my age. I’ll be seeing them in 40 years on tv looking as perfect as ever still and me with my greying hair will wonder where time went.

Harry Styles. I was a one Direction girl. Been following his solo work for a bit and he is a fellow 420 user 😂

Honorable mentions but they’re actors older than my parents

Wes Anderson. year older than my mom and he fine as hell on top of being my favorite director.

Jeff Goldblum -it’s Jeff Goldblum

I’m not too crazy about the honorable mentions but they’re still cool. I’d have a glass of wine or blunt with them. We all have our favorites on differentiating levels.

[pixie-violet]

unfinished article #2: How I actually enjoyed the ending: a How I Met Your Mother retrospective

This is actually a finished article and is supposed to be published, but the fucking TV editor is on sabbatical at the moment Word count: 954

Whenever I am asked what my favourite TV show is, my answer will always be How I Met Your Mother. I am more than a superfan, I am obsessed to a mentally detrimental degree.

However, the response I always get for my love of How I Met Your Mother? Great show, awful ending.

Now, I will acknowledge, the ending of the show is highly controversial. In fact the entirety of its last season was one of the worst rated in the show’s nine year run. Everyone wanted Ted and the mother (Tracy) to grow old together, everyone wanted Barney and Robin to stay together, and nobody wanted Ted and Robin to end up with each other.

I can sympathise with these views. I didn’t really like Ted and Robin together when they dated throughout season 2, much preferring Ted and Victoria – Ted’s girlfriend in season 1 and then briefly again in season 8. Barney and Robin were made to seem like a ‘right person, wrong time’ scenario, which audiences go crazy for. I also agreed with the idea that Ted deserved his nuclear family happy ending, even if it was with Tracy.

So why did I actually enjoy the ending? No, not for subverting my expectations in a plot twist so weird that even M. Night Shyamalan wouldn’t expect. I actually expected the show to end the way it did, which is why I loved the ending so much.

How I Met Your Mother was ran in an era where the American sitcom was at its prime. Every member of the public had a favourite sitcom, whether it was Friends, The Office, The Big Bang Theory – the list goes on. This is what TV audiences wanted, especially in the socio-political context of the 2000s where the news was all doom and gloom. The American sitcom was a way to switch off and invest into a happier version of life (unless you’re an It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia fan, then you’re just twisted).

This also meant though that sitcoms were very saturated, meaning storylines were stretched thin across each show. It was almost impossible to create an original storyline, setting, or character for each show. This has been proven multiple times; How I Met Your Mother and Friends have consistently been compared to each other, from the setting of New York City to the weird relationships between the main characters.

So while How I Met Your Mother had already established itself as a sitcom based on the romantic life of Ted, it still needed to make its defining mark. Yes, it had its quirks like the conversations with Ted’s future kids, Luke and Penny, or Barney’s Bro Code, or Bob Saget’s witty narration as a future Ted (no, it wasn’t Josh Radnor, the actor of Ted, I was shocked too). How I Met Your Mother showrunners had a different idea, and to instead organise the ending when the show began.

Yes, you heard that right. Ted and Robin were always meant to be together.

Let’s circle back to why the ending was actually enjoyable from a How I Met Your Mother fanatic though. Like I have mentioned before, I am not a fan of Ted and Robin together. Robin in callous and just wreaks of ‘I’m not like other girls’. Ted is just a delusional man who is infatuated with the idea of loving someone, but is incapable of actually doing so. Them paired together? Hellish. But why did it make sense in the show’s finale?

Ted’s obsession with finding ‘the one’ is what the show was built off of. It was utilised as a tool to cause the breakdown of Ted and Robin’s relationship in the early days of the show. It was so nice to see him achieve his goals and find ‘the one’ when he married Tracy. It was especially nice to see when Robin finds her ‘the one’ too in Barney, supposedly subverting the audience’s expectations; it was established early on that Robin never subscribed to the idea of marriage or commitment.

But you know what’s nicer and even more refreshing? The plot twist. How I Met Your Mother’s plot twist throws the idea of ‘the one’ out the window. It shows that while Ted still got everything he wanted – reminiscent of the finales of other sitcoms and were ending at the same time as How I Met Your Mother – fate had decided that that wasn’t the life he wasn’t supposed to live. He was meant for Robin.

When you go back and rewatch the show after knowing how it ended, you can clearly see how the showrunners had always planned for Ted and Robin to be together. One of the main ways you can see this is because the show is narrated by future Ted. His narration, not only is it unique in the world of sitcoms, but also shows Ted’s character progression in a very raw and open way that you can’t see in sitcoms written in the third person.

It is generally agreed that Ted is a bad person. However the narrations explain to us, through a more mature version of Ted, why he did what he did. It adds self-awareness, especially towards the show’s finale where actually it is acknowledged that maybe ‘the one’ is not an idea Ted should be chasing. With Ted’s ‘the one’ tragically dying proving this in mind, the twist ending is not so bad after all. In fact, it is one of my favourite endings of a show of all time.

How I Met Your Mother is not a story of how Ted ended up with Tracy. It’s about how he matured to realise he was always meant to be with Robin.

[300iqprower]

Sorry if I had to say this: *Takes a deep breath while sweatdrop* Sakurai deserve better.

I used to be a sakurai defender like you, then I took an Olympus to the Frontal Lobe. Followed immediately after by a Heian Kyo to the Occipital Lobe.

I stand by everything I said in this post. I never said in that post Sakurai was competent. She was not, is still is not. She's long proven to be an extremely capable writer when given some guidance and/or when someone else is there to keep her fangirling in check. We have proof* of this in Summer 5, Little Big Tengu, Babylonia, and LB4. We also have proof that she's the world's most prolific character assassin when left alone for more than 5 minutes as shown with Shimousa, Septem, Summer 4, and the two aforementioned lostbelts.

*or as much proof as a game that refuses to properly credit its writers can be

It is fairly well documented that part of the reason Sakurai got immediately put so high up at Delightworks is because she was a Nasu superfan and Nasu pretty much just handed her the Prototype and Extra casts to go nuts with. That's not me saying she has no talent or merit and doesn't deserve a place in the industry - those claims are provably untrue. But it's also provable that she got where she is through Nasu's nepotism and that lack of qualification has shone through time and time again.

Lostbelt 2 is what best sums up Sakurai. It's both so bad that I "skipped" about 40% of it and got an empirically better story experience for doing so, and yet it's also so good that it has not one, not even a couple, but several of my favorite moments in the entire story to date.

Characters that have been directly credited to Sakurai like Douman, Tomoe, Xu Fu, Quetz, Sigurd, Napoleon, Surtr, Caligula, Gorgon, and more prove that Sakurai is capable of incredible writing.

None of that changes her track record of not only making the EXACT same mistakes every time she's called in to take the lead in writing a non-event chapter (and more than one event chapter), but arguably been worse about those mistakes every time she's put wholly in charge of a chapter, from Septem to London to Shimousa to LB2 to Olympus to Heian Kyo.

TLDR: Sakurai is not some objectively good or bad character. She's a real person who is not 100% consistent in anything. She's clearly talented but that doesn't change the actual work we've been presented, which has repeatedly indicated she needs someone to reign her in or her work inevitably tanks in quality due to her eccentricities that range from harmless to outright problematic. She is frequently derided as a scapegoat which is not only unjust and typically just how people try and shield Nasu himself from criticism despite her being part of his responsibilities as the one with the final say in everything, but also detracts from the genuine criticism Sakurai still deserves given some of the truly awful content that has been directly attributed to her.

Honestly I just wish she'd stick to writing events. Her style of heavily leaning into certain tropes and hamming it up more than other writers lends itself perfectly to events and lets her strike a balance of drama and comedy that other writers typically go too far in one direction to land, something that again is best exemplified by Summer 5, which was led by Higashide with her [implied to have been] heavily helping with things hence so many of her characters making up the central cast.

[starlightsoulwriting]

Ok guys so I'm may or may not want to make yet ANOTHER long running series.

This time it's for Star Wars, and also an Isekai/Fan gets transported to the show fic. (I love those okay so what if I'm writing more than one at once lol.)

And reader is a Superfan, child of Superfans. Like, she has watched every movie at least five times - in the past year, each - and re-watched Clone wars too many times because it's her background noise, so she can say the lines along with the characters kind of superfan. Contributes to Wookiepedia kind of fan. Has lightsaber duels with her buds on the reg. Went into MMA so she could be more like a Jedi kind of fan.

And, at the ripe old age of 16, on her way to state championship youth MMA, she gets in a car wreck and because of Isekai Logic, she ends up on Tatooine, when Anakin is a child. (I love Isekai Logic btw it's so funny)

And oh boy, she figures, if I am in Star Wars, I will be force sensitive, in my nature or not.

Too Stubborn to Not Be a Force User.

In the meantime, to make money, she finds a sponsor for the fighting rings, and makes money from the very dangerous, bloody bouts. Specifically as a punching bag/warm up before the Real Fight.

It sucks. But she makes enough to get by. At least her sponsor has a medical droid, not that it has bacta or anything.

And then she runs into Anakin an Shmi in the market and it's just 😲.

And then she reverse adopts them, because she can. (And Shmi is like 'oh honey you're too young to be in the fighting pits')

So she lives with them.

And it's not until she encounters a specific flower in the market, that she feels a prickling in the force that she's been trying so hard to connect to...

She starts growing plants, and The Flower Girl of Tatooine is born, fostering her abilities and learning slowly, fighting and struggling for every inch of progress she makes.

And that connection to the force makes all the difference. She sells the flowers that are so rare on a desert planet, and she does better in her fights, with a bit of help from her studies.

The pattern of improvement continues.

And then one day, years after she landed on this desolate place in the outer rim, just three months after she turned twenty, two Jedi and a certain queen land right in her path.

But they aren't the ones she smuggles off Naboo two days later, feeling an unexplainable urge to help someone who might not deserve it.

No - it's Maul, legs cut off just above the knee and unsuccessful at killing either Jedi - that she hides on a stolen ship and spirits away to Dathomir.

And that's when the real adventure begins.

After all, you know how badly Maul wants an apprentice...

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Michael After Midnight: The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent

There are actors, and then there is Nicolas Cage. Cage is less an actor and more a force of nature given human form, a man who can turn even the shittiest film he’s into a masterpiece with his bizarre yet brilliant acting. This man is the very definition of a character actor. And while he is indispensable in bad movies, Cage is all the better in truly great movies, making a genuinely fantastic experience doubly so by channeling his madness for the greater good. The man is just fascinating to watch.

The question then becomes this: Why the fuck did it take so long for the guy to get a movie that’s basically a giant love letter to his career?

The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent is a movie about Nicolas Cage playing a version of himself who is quite a bit more egotistical than the real deal, though every bit as weird. It is stuffed to the brim with references to Cage’s oeuvre, and it features him going so far over the top he shoots up from the bottom to go over the top again. It is, quite simply, exactly the sort of thing we’ve come to expect from Cage. I mean, the dude makes out with himself in this one, I’d say it’s harder to get any Cage-ier than that.

But this isn’t just a showcase of Cage’s wild acting skills, it’s a film about why we love Cage himself, and the film would just completely fall apart if not for the Mandalorian, the myth, the legend that is Pedro Pascal. Pascal is playing Cage’s biggest fan, and the unlikely bromance that ensues from their meeting is the very heart and soul of the movie. These dudes play off each other so well, and their friendship is believable and funny. You really are rooting for these guys despite their flaws, and you definitely don’t want to believe Pascal’s character is a bad guy like the CIA are telling Cage.

Pascal’s wide-eyed hero worship of Cage is definitely played for laughs, but while the tongue is firmly in cheek there is a ring of truth to how he’s portrayed. It is quite obvious the filmmakers really love Cage, and that they were passionate about making a film that honored him. There aren’t really any cheap shots about his career, no mockery of his numerous schlocky acting choices; hell, The Wicker Man is given a shout out, and it’s not in a negative sense. The humor comes from poking fun at this version of Cage, a raging alcoholic jackass egomaniac who is well-meaning but seriously out of touch, not at the idea of the man himself.

The film very much is in love with the idea of Cage, and that might be where the only real issue comes into play. This is basically a movie that’s only accessible to Cage superfans, and even if Cage is a wildly popular weirdo actor, that’s still quite a niche audience. It’s no wonder the film didn’t do well despite rave reviews, there’s a very narrow audience who is going to truly ‘get’ this film. Thankfully, as I am a huge Nicolas Cage fan, I loved it a lot, but I can’t really speak for everyone.

Basically, if you love Cage, you’re gonna love this movie. If you don’t love him or have a neutral opinion on him, this might not be the movie for you as a lot of the content will either go over your head or just won’t be enjoyable without the love for Cage. I definitely think this is a fantastic entry in the large library of Cage Cult Classics, and on its own merits it’s definitely fantastic, but it still has such a narrow niche audience that it’s not hard to see why it wasn’t the smash success it deserved to be.

[inamindfarfaraway]

Joker Parks AU

Crossover AU of DC Comics, specifically Batman, and Dead End: Paranormal Park.

Joesph Kerr, better known by his stage name the Joker, is a famous TV and movie star, comedian and general personality. He’s egotistical and kinda shifty, but very charismatic, a brilliant actor and none of the rumours have ever been proven, so his popularity has endured over many years; his style of comedy is notably ironic, irreverent and morbid, while his trademark genre is chilling, thrilling, eerie, high-octane horror often with supernatural elements. He’s such a big presence that he’s got his own theme park themed entirely around him and his work. Lately he’s retired from the public scene though. In fact, fact, despite thriving on attention, he has this weird tendency to disappear every now and then and show up looking slightly different. Wait, how long is his career? Does anyone know how old he is?

Selina Kyle is a troubled teenage girl. Her cool, sly delinquent persona and cynical sharp wit hide not only pain, but a huge heart that cares deeply about people once she lets them in. She was born and raised in the East End of Gotham City, a district defined by poverty and suffering. Her mother committed suicide when she was just a young child. Her abusive father drank himself to death not long afterward. She and her little sister Maggie have recently passed into the custody of Leslie Thompkins, a doctor in the same neighbourhood who is a genuinely wonderful person and mother. But Selina is fiercely independent, carrying tons of unprocessed grief and guilt about her mother’s death and bitter disrespect toward the concepts of parents and authority, and as a result unable to accept Leslie or the notions that maybe her life can be good and she can be happy. And most crucially, that she deserves to be happy. This severely strains her relationship with Leslie because she continually sabotages it. It’s also taxing her and Maggie’s previously strong bond; Maggie is much more optimistic, sociable, cooperative and docile and unlike Selina, engages with the therapy Leslie’s signed them up for, making her the better adjusted sister. Part of Selina is jealous, the rest doesn’t want to drag her down. She becomes a security guard at Joker Parks to have a place to escape these tensions and interact with people who won’t know her tragic past unless she tells them. In the wake of a wild hiring, she takes this to the point of she running away to live in the park’s main building Dead End, a haunted mansion attraction that happens to actually be haunted. It isn’t the first time she’s ran away. She knows how to survive alone. That Maggie misses her and Leslie refuses to give up on her for some inexplicable reason can be dealt with later. Except from the start of this time, she isn’t alone. She has… friends. This is new and significantly complicates things.

Harleen “Harley” Quinzel is another troubled teenage girl. A boisterous, hyperactive eccentric, she chafes in her tedious life of mundanity and obscurity. Bullying has been a lifelong problem. She has low self-esteem, doesn’t consider herself special or worthwhile at all and is terrified of never amounting to anything, so she’s fixated on acquiring worthiness through sheer dedication: when it comes to passion and enthusiasm, nobody can top her. If anything her problem is being too intense. She has an idealistic worldview, seeing the best in people and wanting to believe there’s good in everyone. She’s painfully self-aware of her social ineptitude in practice, and studies psychological theory in great detail to try to compensate. Her inner empathy is high, she simply doesn’t always know how to apply it. While Selina has grown up too fast, Harley frequently comes across as emotionally immature. The one constant illuminating her dreary life has been her interest in the Joker. She’s a superfan. He makes her feel like she can be somebody, do something that matters, make a difference - not to mention he’s her celebrity crush. Even before getting hired there, she has encyclopaedic knowledge of Joker Parks. Her fashion sense and sense of humour are clearly partly inspired by his. Working at his theme park as a security guard is her dream job. She doesn’t think anything could possibly ruin her summer, however scary and scarring its occult underside might get. Unfortunately, the park takes this as a challenge.

Poison Ivy is an ancient immortal nature spirit thousands of years old, although she physically appears and half the time acts like a teenage girl, and definitely extremely troubled. She’s the spirit of the land the park and surrounding suburbia stand on, the guardian of its plants. She used to be a sweet soul. Humanity’s uncompromising expansion overpowered her magic - in response she’s learned to be a lot more ruthless and cunning in how she uses it - and she has been forced to watch her domain be devastated and defiled to this day, currently by a gaudy, totally unnecessary amusement park. And she feels it’s all her fault. It’s been a rough five centuries. The modern Ivy is a jaded misanthrope who despises humans. Their selfishness, greed, pride and indulgence are the only parts of them she’s experienced, so she acts callous right back. At the beginning of the story she’s so broken she’s lost faith in everything and everyone and thinks humanity’s excess has ruined Earth beyond salvation. Her goal is to sever her connection to her territory (removing her indestructible magic vine bracelets in the process) thus allowing her to leave the park and its shameful memories of her failure behind for another dimension inhabited exclusively by fellow supernatural beings. Where she can find peace… and make her first ever friends. This will take powerful magic. Hence why she’s initially aligned with the evil demon lord Temeluchus. However, this tangled thorn bush still has its roses. She does have a conscience and yearns for companionship and compassion. The mortal girls and Ace’s arrival sets her off on rediscovering the world’s good and beauty, discovering humanity’s and regaining her own direction and belief in herself. She slowly realizes friendship is several dimensions closer than she thought.

Ace is Harley’s beloved pet German Shepherd. (Yes, I’m stealing Batman’s dog because I can and it suits Joker and Harley’s shared playing card motif.) She wanted a hyena as a kid because Joker tames one to be his sidekick in a movie, but settled for a dog. He’s named after the hyena too. He develops human intelligence, speech, opposable thumbs and magical abilities after accidentally being possessed by Temeluchus and retaining a tiny fragment of the mighty demon’s soul. He’s unconditionally loyal to Harley, but simultaneously forms an independent identity. E.g. he hones his magical talent under Ivy’s tutelage and bonds with her over being fundamentally caught in a liminal space between the paranormal and the earthly. Having her oldest friend challenge her and assert his autonomy pushes Harley to mature and be more respectful of others.

Bruce Wayne is slightly older than Selina and Harley and a more experienced employee of the park who operates the Deathslide attraction. His personality fits perfectly into its gothic atmosphere. He joins the girls in unraveling the Joker’s mysteries and eventually Selina in a romantic relationship. The truth is that like them he’s desperately lonely, isolated by his sheltered background as the richest kid in Gotham and self-perpetuating poor social skills. Justice, helping people and detective work have given meaning to his life in lieu of connection with others. The reason he got his job in the first place was to figure out and expose the Joker’s corruption and deception, based on his impossibly long lifespan and the testimony of an old impersonator of him. Befriending the girls and Ace gets him invested in investigating the supernatural as well.

[ncisladaily]

LL Cool J's fans are "The Greatest of All Time."

On Thursday, PEOPLE is exclusively premiering a clip from the upcoming CBS series, SUPERFAN, where the rapper opens up about how his fans have impacted his life.

"In every way possible, right?" the "Doin' It" rapper, 55, says. "You have some people that were there for me from day one with the music, you have some people that came later with television shows and acting. They mean everything to me."

He concludes, "Without the fans, there is none of this."

SUPERFAN is an unscripted musical series where contestants are each vying to prove they are their favorite artist's biggest fan. In each episode, a musical artist will choose one deserving fan to win a once in a lifetime prize — beginning with LL Cool J (born James Todd Smith).

In the clip, hosts Nate Burleson and Keltie Knight then introduce the rapper to his energetic superfans: Renee, Keith, Cam, TJ and Alex.

In a separate clip from the episode, LL Cool J also put on a performance of his song "I'm Bad" — and it had the audience up on their feet!

The six-episode series will kick off on Aug. 9 at 9 p.m. ET with LL Cool J's one-hour episode. The subsequent episodes will feature musical artists like Shania Twain, Gloria Estefan, Little Big Town, Pitbull and Kelsea Ballerini.

Aside from his competition show ventures, LL Cool J also recently marked the ending of NCIS: Los Angeles after a 14-year run. At the series wrap party in March, he told PEOPLE it was difficult to say goodbye on the final episode of production.

"The experience was amazing because you mature, because you grow as a human being, because you make new friends, new relationships, all of that, right?" he explained.

"I think the only thing I'll miss really is just the day-to-day working with all the men and women, all the people on the set," he shared. "It was just so many relationships — you know, we're talking about 14 years, so I've seen people have kids, babies go to college, I've seen marriages, I've seen everything in between, and so I will miss working day to day with people who became friends."

[squipy-shippy]

You're enough to us

Pairing: morgen x rose buds (hippie,superfan and shy rose)

Warnings: talk of low self esteem and bad grammar and spelling.

A/n: OH BOY so uuuh hi I caved and decided to write this short little comfort one shot I uuuh have pretty bad dyslexia and haven't written anything in about a year or so. so don't expect anything great. Anyways wooo gay gems am I right anyways enjoy!

Morgen fumbled her way through the door her blue eyes dropping downward her long wavey blonde hair a mess. Today has been a day of failure after failure it felt like she couldn't do anything right now Matter how hard she tried it was honestly really beating her up. She was honestly just glad to be home and to curl up into a ball and cry like the horrible worthless per-"MORGEN!!! YOU'RE HOME!!! HOW WAS YOUR DAY!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!!!"

Morgens thoughts were quickly interrupted by a voice and two pink arms wrapping around her and picking her up like a Teddy bear it was one of her three girlfriends superfan. She always enjoyed superfans presence but at the moment it was pretty loud but still comfortable oddly enough. Morgen laid her head on the gems chest glad to have some sort of comfort she didn't wanna worry her girls so as much as she hated it she had to lie..."it was alright... it's great to see you too" she said.

Morgen was not lying mostly she was very great to see her girlfriends here but her day was very much not alright and sadly her lying skills were not that well as two more gems hippie and shy showed up behind superfan. They each looked over at her before looking amongst themselves before nodding. Shy rose took the lead asking for morgen to sit down on the floor. She did as the gems followed as shy took her lover's hands her soft pink thumb gliding over her hand. Shy took a deep breath before speaking "you don't need to lie to us Morgen.... something happened I just have a gut feeling...can you please tell us you know we'd never judge you dear" spoke shy rose her eyes scanning the very being of morgen.

Morgen looked down ashamed she couldn't even lie correctly...she felt like a joke but she felt they had a right to know what a mess of a human she was. "I kept on Messing up at work today...we got a new oven put in and I couldn't figure out how it worked,one of the glass bottles broke while I was helping mr.smiley at the amusement park,one of the Segal's stole my fries because I couldn't protect them" she stopped rubbing her eyes as tears started to form "I know it's nothing compared to the gem stuff you guys went though but I just wanna be perfect for everyone I wanna do the right thing I wanna protect you guys I wanna protect everyone it's my purpose to pro-" she was suddenly stopped again by 6 arms wrapping around her.

The Three roses held onto morgen shy giving her a soft sssh before hippie decided to speak "listen morgen you are like no where near a failure even gems make mistakes like all the time it's what makes us real ya know" said hippie playing with morgen's hair.

The other two nodded before shy spoke herself pulling morgen back so she could get a good look at her "you are going to mess up sometimes but you bring so much right to this planet... And if we have to remind you every day just how much you Matter how much you do right...we won't be afraid to do it" said shy placing a hand on Morgen's cheek.

Superfan then joined in with a nod and a dorky grin on her face "EXACTLY!!! My sisters are right you Matter so much to us morgen even when you mess up we'll always be your well biggest fans!! We love you Matter how many times you trip both literally and metaphorically" said superfan before hippie spoke with a smirk " if she falls I'll be there to catch her and kiss her~" said hippie causing squip to laugh and blush a soft pink.

Morgen then rubbed the tears from her eyes with a laugh "you guys...I don't deserve you all" she said standing up but was placed onto shy's lap. "Oh but you do even if you believe you have done nothing right you being here is proof enough you have done something correctly" said shy playing with Morgen's hair

The others nodded as superfan laid on her back hippie following close behind looking up at morgen. "Hey I got like a super cool idea why don't you try one of those super cool mini human pools and we'll make you food" said hippie

Morgen chuckled she sometimes forgets how they are all still learning about earth and it's things "it's called a bath..but yes that'd be nice if you think you can handle the stove" she said with a chuckle

The roses stood up superfan giving a mock salute "YOU CAN COUNT ON US!!" She said rushing off the stove causing the other two to laugh and follow behind before morgen went to the bathroom...to start a bath maybe they were right...she did do at least one thing correctly to end up with these three dorks.

[walrusmagazine]

Groupies Deserve More Credit

Superfans contribute just as much to culture as the male musicians they love. Why haven’t they had the shine they deserve?

Bebe Buell can talk music as well as any of her boyfriends, and Pamela Des Barres knew every song by every band she loved. It’s too easy to forget that groupies were not just bodies, not just muses and comfort women. Groupies also had hearts, minds, and opinions. They had taste—good taste. They had the kind of taste that made record-industry people pay attention to their opinions: these women who made fandom a vocation knew what was good.

Read more at thewalrus.ca.

Illustration by Jess Hannigan (jesshannigan.com)

[astrxlfinale]

📝 maybe for guinaifen ? 👂

Guinaifen: Warm Sun

You think I'm a bit too obsessed with weather that's not even real? I think you might've missed the memo. The sort of sun I'm talking isn't a thing, it's a person, it's Guinaifen. Haven't you seen how she brings warmth for the heart wherever she goes? Places feel a lot more welcoming, people getting out of their shells, it's a rare kind of thing to really perceive.

A superfan? ...Heh. Sure. You could easily say I'll be the biggest supporter that's always in her corner, thick and thin.

Guinaifen: Spontaneous.

I've had the honor to really see working in her element behind the scenes. Oftentimes, she has the biggest smile while pulling me into the fun of it. Many would consider it a challenge to keep up with her, whether it's by the rate of physical pace or mental. On the physical side I can get because she's honed her body to really get involved in some dangerous acts.

On the other hand? You can't help but thrive in how she sees the world. In my book, sharing her lens is like witnessing the myth in reality, the unknown luxurious chest that's sandwiched away secretly, unknowingly making things a lot more brighter. Imagine tripping up one of the Nameless that way!

Everyday is an adventure with her. I'll have to make sure I can do her proud.

Guinaifen: Love.

She's been more bubbly lately? I've been more bubbly myself! ..At least I think so. The way we've come to live got intertwined in the best of ways. She's my special lady, my Firekiss, my one n' only girlfriend. The idea of truly living the long haul of many timeless years sounds like the best plan ever to me. And in kind, I want to be by her side every step of the way.

Just as she found herself readily set to be by mine. If she's already the best sun, I plan to let her thrive as the friendliest supernova you can ever spot. I want to make sure she never loses that shine.

That said... there is some truths I do have to let her know. Given my potential supposed feature facing an Aeon. How do I even begin with that...? She deserves to know what she's fully getting into.

@avaere