#Evil Scorpion Dad is Best Dad

[cienie-isengardu]

Hot take: It's okay that Bi-Han doesn't like Tomas. He doesn't have to see him as family or like him.

By the addition of “Hot take” I assume this is not something that fandom at large figured out by themselves yet. Can’t say I’m surprised though. Yes, it is okay for Bi-Han to not like or see Tomas as family, as no one can be - nor should be - forced to like anyone just because others (adults) expect it. That alone doesn’t make Bi-Han an evil person, even if Tomas feels rejected in the process, as each person will define what makes one a family differently. 

Their brotherhood was forced on both, as none had any say in Grandmaster’s decision to adopt the orphaned and traumatized boy (how they adapted to the situation is another matter and so far, we know more about Smoke’s process of adaptation than Bi-Han’s). We know only small bits of what happened that significant day, but so far sources - the way the informations are phased at least - feel to me like the Grandmaster adopted the boy less for Tomas’ sake and more to smother his own guilt 

[...] Having accidentally trespassed onto Lin Kuei lands, they were attacked. Smoke was orphaned. Ashamed by his warriors' actions, the Lin Kuei's Grandmaster adopted Smoke. He raised him alongside his sons, Sub-Zero and Scorpion. [Smoke’s BIO]

and/or to save his honor:

Kitana: "You are Kuai Liang's adopted brother?" Smoke: "His father's honor demanded that he take me in." 

So this is not a situation as if Bi-Han urged father to give him another younger brother and dad complied to make his son happy but once he brought the orphaned Tomas, Bi-Han decided nope, I change my mind and from on I will act as a spoiled brat that didn’t get what he wanted. Tomas did not choose to be orphaned nor to be adopted (as he himself admitted he did not think being taken in by Lin Kuei was anything good for him at that time), the same as Bi-Han was not asked by Grandmaster for approval (and even if he was, his objection apparently wasn’t taken into account as Grandmaster still adopted Tomas).

Smoke: "Father wanted us to be brothers." Sub Zero: "Yet another of the old man's foolish dreams." 

Note this: father wanted. Not hoped they will eventually find a common ground despite the not the best circumstances. He wanted to save honor. He wanted them to be brothers. Again, not sounding as taking into account what the kids wished for or needed and who knows, maybe Grandmaster wanted it so much, he pushed too hard to get the most comfortable solution for his own conscience - except Bi-Han simply never clicked with Tomas, whatever due to incompatible personalities or factors beyond their good will? I presume they all were still enough young when Tomas was brought into picture, but if Bi-Han is the eldest out of them three, then he could had his own duties that simply didn’t give him enough time to bond with the (culturally and ethically) different kid the way Kuai Liang did, again presumably, as closer in age to Tomas. 

But even if Bi-Han simply didn’t like Tomas, then it is still okay, because people can’t be forced to love or like others. Not liking someone though doesn’t give anyone the right to act disrespectful - yet so far, we only heard he was cold to Tomas but that does not necessary mean being intentionally cruel either. A human can be polite and still come off as emotionally cold (and let’s not forget that people can also be naturally introverts or fall into the autism/asocial disorders spectrum that makes it difficult to establish good relationships with strangers. We are familiar with MK1 Bi-Han for what? Maybe twenty minutes of story mode and through intro-dialogues that only gives us a sense of who he is at this point. We don’t even have an idea if cryomancer genes affect his perception of the world or behavior). 

Bi-Han as an adult person seems to come to terms with the situation to some extent and got used to the idea of an additional brother - his and Tomas relationship is tense and complicated but it is now tainted by their conscious choices, however in the past, if Bi-Han didn’t like Tomas for whatever understandable or petty reason, no one can demand from a kid to act as an adult and control/smooth their own emotions to solve the problem adults created in the first place. The whole situation wasn’t fair to Tomas and so wasn’t to Bi-Han either. 

Would it be sad to learn that Bi-Han has never liked Tomas or never come to love him the way he loved his biological brother? Yes. But not liking someone or not considering someone a family member is not a crime itself and is not an indication of being inherently evil. Be it fictional characters or real human beings, people sometimes simply don't like each other and they have the right to feel that way. Not liking each other though does not mean anyone is allowed to abuse or disrespect others, just to be clear here.

I like to think this should be obvious, but knowing fandom, it may indeed be the hot take.

[running-with-the-feels]

You mentioned that Kuai's father was killed by a Shirai Ryu. What if that same Shirai Ryu learned that he had a family and realized 'oh shit, me killing the dad will lead the Link Kuei to this family!' So they get the family to the safety of the Shirai Ryu before the Lin Kuei could find them. Mama & Big Sis lives, Kuai & Bi Han grow up in a positive environment, and Kuai & Hanzo & Harumi all grow up as childhood friends before forming their poly circle.

ooooooo now see that is a good idea, do you mind if I add that to my list of fic prompts?

Honestly, I hc that Jiahao (the dad) was killed by a Shirai Ryu bc I think it adds to the whole 'cycle of vengeance' thing they had going with Scorpion and the Sub-Zero brothers.

Like, Bi-Han's reaction to being accused of a crime he knows he did not commit was odd to me, he didn't try and defend himself at first, not until he saw the vision Quan Chi showed Hanzo. He basically told Hanzo to go fuck himself which seems personal and like we know that the Lin Kuei have a centuries old fued with the Shirai Ryu but the Sub-Zero we see in MK9 wouldn't be inclined to give a shit about that. He just wants to finish his missions and go home to his brother, nothing else really matters.

So I thought that it would make more sense if he knew that his father had been killed by the Shirai Ryu, of course he wouldn't care that the Shirai Ryu had been wiped out. Bi-Han isn't exactly a nice dude (that doesn't mean he's evil NRS come on now) so he would just be glad that the guy who killed his dad was dead, who cares how many other people died with him.

But if the Shirai Ryu took the family back with him to protect them, that leads to some interesting possibilities.

Mama Ru learning to fight like a Shirai Ryu so that she could defend her kids.

Lian, Bi-Han, and Kuai Liang becoming a lethal trio as they grow up and join the clan properly.

The kids probably got bullied too for being Lin Kuei by heritage, so seeing them defend themselves against that would be rly cool.

We know that Hano joined the clan against his father's wishes, so he probably joined as a teenager, but Harumi I hc was part of the clan from birth. It would be really cool to see Hanzo join up and have a bisexual panic bc Kuai Liang and Harumi (the best friend duo that everyone has money on becoming a couple some day) are both really hot and really nice to him (they are having a silent competition over his attention) and he doesn't know what to do with it.

That could be a really cool concept, just, all around.

[luna-lovegreat]

Hello!! What's your favorite Zelda game?

- hero-of-the-wolf

SkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardswordSkywardsword

Skyward sword :)

I uhh am kind of nervous to share but you asked so ima rant about my life and why I love skyward sword :))

I was the youngest child, which leads to some problems with being included- but with video games I was actually ok with that. I was always a coward- if a character so much as had red eyes I would have nightmares and not be able to sleep for uhhh a bit. So movies and video games gave me wayyyy too much anxiety. Jump scares and being surrounded were terrifying to me- I also felt I wasn't good at video games with the controls. But I did like spending time with my siblings!

Anyways my mom (love her) was one of the adults as a kid who thought video games were evil- she didn't necessarily buy the theory of it rotting our brains, but she did want us to get outside a lot. But one Christmas we did get a wii... and skyward sword :DDD

We played games together- I did the gaming sometimes, but it was mainly my siblings. I always had thoughts/suggestions on the dungeons lol. However we didn't really have enough attention spans as kids to finish it. It was funny because it became a kind of pattern- my siblings would decide to play skyward sword! :D and we would start the game and make it to like the first dungeon and stop XD. We still all remember and have the entirety of skyloft and the opening to first temple + ghirahim boss memorized, but us actually beating the game was a no. The furthest we got on a run was getting the water dragons scale, at which point we enjoyed swimming drowning link until we ran out of steam again.

But I was still so scared of playing video games myself- there was umm. A lot of screaming and panic whenever I was attacked, which was mildly annoying to my family. (Child me was chaotic but we love her <3)

Cut forward years and we ended up stuck in a house together during Covid... at which point my mom threw away all previous ideas of video games being bad and bought us a bunch XD. Then there came a point as (college) adults that we all wanted and bought Switches- my brother says he started the Nintendo "switch revolution" in our family since he was the first

My sister helped me a lot. She was the one who showed me animal crossing as a chill video game, and how I could calmly catch the scorpions and tarantulas in that game (eeeeeeeh). I watched her play botw on wii u and she helped me beat (eiffjjdfkjfkf scary) thunderblight ganon without panicking. After that I decided to have they were fun! Fights still give me anxiety sometimes, but overall I'm actually good at it- which I hadn't expected lol

And then I got skyward sword hd on switch. And this was like. The moment for me I started really loving video games. I played through like me and my siblings used to do (nostalgia man). And I fully finished a video game. And obviously sobbed over sksw Zelink. Then I helped my dad through it- we also played games with him (and he is not the best at it), so me and my dad played through sksw in a summer.

I love all Zelda games are so so good- I've played a lot like the og legend of Zelda, botw, totk, twilight princess- and I just got wind waker and am excited to play it :D

So I love skyward sword as my favourite video or Zelda game ever because of nostalgia- it was my first Zelda game and has a lot memories for me from when we were kids :)

:)

I hope I made sense idk if all of my words were understandable. And also thank you so much for asking I love you forever and might melt whenever asked about myself fifdigjdockng sorry for ranting so long

[misseviehyde]

Mommy knows best

BOOM, BOOM, BOOM...

David sighed as he looked around his new home and listened to the racket coming next door from his daughters room. The little bitch was playing music incredibly loudly and refusing to come out and help him unpack. Chloe was acting like a total brat... again.

He supposed she was still angry about the divorce - but did she really have to take it out on him? It was her mother that had cheated on him and driven a wedge into their family. Laura had moved in with her new rich boyfriend and Chloe would clearly rather spend time at their luxurious house than at her Dad's new home.

He'd bought the apartment because it came fully furnished. Chloe's Mom had left him with almost nothing. It had all happened so fast.

Running his hands through his greying hair he unzipped his suitcase and walking over to the wardrobe pulled it open to begin putting his clothes away. He whistled as he worked, trying to ignore the thud of the bass coming through the wall.

Spoiled fucking brat... she needs to be brought under control.

David rubbed his eyes tiredly. It almost felt like he'd heard a voice coming from the corner of the room - but that was impossible. He was alone.

Maybe you're not as alone as you think simp.

This time David was sure he had heard a voice. He whirled round and peered into the corner. But there was nothing but an old fashioned full-length mirror in the corner of the room.

Elaborate silver scrollwork framed the mirror and it's silvery surface almost seemed to ripple as if it were alive. Intrigued he stalked closer and to his surprise saw a figure staring back at him.

Hello loser.

There was a woman in the mirror gazing back at him. A beautiful stylish woman. She was dressed all in black - in clingy tight fitting leather that left her smooth perfect legs on show and her beautiful figure clearly evident. Manicured nails and pedicured toes shone glossily back at him as she held him with a steady gaze. A sexy pony tail rose from her scalp - her hair black and her face bold with strong makeup and dark glittering eyes. Dollar sign earrings hung on either side of her head - this was a girl-boss and no mistake.

It was hard to tell how old she was - his age probably... but she was in a lot better shape than he was. She looked assertive, competent - the kind of woman who liked to hit the gym and work out. She looked like a man eating dominatrix... he could just imagine her sucking off some big alpha cock whilst making her cuckold husband watch.

He had always had a thing for women that treated him like trash. It was why he let his wife cheat on him for all those years - why he now allowed his daughter to push him around. Why he could do nothing but stare in admiration at the woman in the mirror.

Yes that's right. Women take advantage of you because you're a useless fucking cuck

The woman in the mirror laughed, her hands on her hips.

But even a useless cuck has his uses. I'm trapped in this mirror and I want out.

David knew that something evil was happening. He should cry out for help from his daughter, but the music next door was too loud and he couldn't seem to stop staring at the woman in the mirror.

Yesssss, that's it loser. Come closer. Come to Mommy.

The woman untied her belt and let her leather dress fall open. Underneath she was naked... her body perfectly toned and curvy in all the right places. A tattoo of a scorpion stood proud on her thigh - and David couldn't stop staring at her luscious breasts and shaven pussy.

Yes, isn't my body just the best? Come closer cuck. Get your dick out for me.

David was helpless to resist as he approached the mirror and unzipped his belt. His trousers fell to his knees and his cock sprang out.

Pump it for me...

David's hands stroked up and down his cock as the woman in the mirror began to touch and play with herself. She moaned, her pony tail swishing as she rolled her head and her eyes fluttered in delicious pleasure.

Sinking to her knees slowly, she grinned maliciously and opened her mouth invitingly.

David knew it was impossible - but the compulsion to slide his dick into her mouth was too strong. He pushed his cock up against the glass... and to his amazement with a wet glop it sank into and through the glass.

That's it cuck... give me your fucking cock.

David groaned as he felt the mirror woman's lips slide round his dick and he felt her begin to suck. She reached out and the glass bulged and parted as her hands came through and she slide them around his ass.

"Ohhhh fuck, ohhhh my God," groaned David as the woman's head began to bob up and down - her pony tail bouncing as she sucked and slurped his dick. He felt himself being pulled deeper into the mirror and the glass beginning to bulge and flow outwards as he thrust his hips into her face.

The woman's hands were on his back, she was sucking him so hard now... his dick had never felt so good... it felt like she was draining him of everything.

glug glug glug mmmmmmmhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh

With a wet pop the woman pulled her head off his cock and standing up pulled him deep into the mirror. He groaned as she flowed like water, her physical form starting to engulf him and flow over him.

A hand formed around his cock, pumping and stroking as she enveloped him and he felt himself being absorbed.

That's it... don't fight it.

David groaned as soft luxurious skin flowed over his own. Manicured nails sprang from his fingers and looking down he saw firm full breasts forming on his chest. He felt the woman's face flowing over his... her lips merging with his own as he groaned orgasmically and began to cum.

With every spurt - his dick shrank and as the last of the mirror surface wrapped around him and flowed over his body - his ass swelled up and a tight pussy formed over his crotch.

Trapped inside the woman - David felt her thoughts and memories beginning to smother his own. He felt his pony tail bouncing on his own head, as his new clothing formed around him and he reached down to tie up his leather dress. Licking his lips David tasted expensive lipstick and he ran his fingers over his skin, thrilling at the softness of his body and how good it felt.

Just let yourself sink into nothingness. Become me...

The mirror behind him was just an empty frame now - as empty and blank as David's thoughts as he felt it all slipping away. It felt so good to surrender to this new body. It felt so good to merge with the woman.

You're going to love being me. You're going to love being a woman.

With a groan David let go and allowed the woman to flow into every part of his soul.

It felt so good to surrender... to just become her.

There was no going back.

***********************

Vivian opened her eyes and stretched languidly. "Mmmmmh, that is SO much better."

Adjusting her dress, she picked up David's phone and took a selfie. "Yes, I really am perfect."

Her perfect lips curved into a wicked smile as she walked over to the door and out into the corridor. Pushing open the door to Chloe's room she smirked at the look of surprise in the other woman's eyes.

"What the... who the fuck are you?"

"Don't you remember me bitch? I'm your step-mother."

Vivian's eyes bored into Chloe's and the girl felt her will being drained. Her mouth dropped open stupidly as the evil bitch dominated her daughters will and rewrote her mind to accept this new situation.

"Don't try to resist Chloe. Your days of fun are over. From now on you will do anything I tell you."

"Y... yes Mommy," gasped Chloe.

"Good girl," purred Vivian.

"But what about Daddy?"

"Your Daddy was a fucking loser. He's me now and we won't be seeing him again. Now turn down this fucking music and do your homework. There are going to be some big changes around here."

Chloe obeyed without question. After all... Mommy knew best.

THE END

[huasahyo]

I have read Qiang Jin Jiu and honestly think I'll never recover

(Spoilers ahead!)

Oh god, where to start this? Maybe I should start with the very begging: I didn't understood shit. I just saw a kid being tortured and lots of information. When I felt it was too much, I went after the translated map and OMG that was so helpful! Bless the translators for that. After looking carefully at the map, things started to make sense.

As the story went, before the end of book one I was not very familiar with all the characters. I kept mistaking Hai Liangyi for Hua Siqian lol. But during my reading I started to take some notes and was never confused again. The thing is, this book has A LOT of characters and some of them are introduced early but only become major players later (Yao Wenyu, Hua Xiangyi...)

Even though this huge ensemble would make characters easy to forget, this doesn't happen. The author managed to create likeable and rememberable characters pretty easily??? I fell in love with many of them at first read, even if they didn't show up a lot. And there were characters that got me completely off guard, I wasn't expecting them to be so cool and relevant, BUT THEY WERE (Fei Sheng, Kong Liu)! And the antagonists were also brilliant, I love a good story where everyone has a point and no one is actually evil: People from Biansha had their truths and in a war there are no right sides, Xue Xiuzhuo wanted the best for Dazhou (even though I can't forgive what the did to my baby Yuanzhuo), and Li Jianting??? WHAT A LEGEND! Also, Feng Quan plot twist left me speechless, what an interesting character. Every character was very human (in the good and bad way), everyone had their own goals and beliefs. I actually might do a second post screaming about every character because I have a lot to say about them. (hello hasen my love)

The Plot??? Perfectly done. AND WELL EXPLAINED! I was always a little afraid of reading novels with a lot of politics, but I really dug this one. The problems with grains, provisions, registry, army and BRO THERE WAS EVEN SOME AGRARIAN REFORM SHIT

The way this author write the MOST well written battles I have read, without using any magic... it's just... I never thought I would be so enthusiastic about cannons, rocks and GRAINS.

The conflicts in Zhongbo could be all repetitive, but they weren't at all. Each prefecture that Lanzhou took back had a interesting story.

The war with Biansha was also brilliantly written. The way Amu'er was attacking Dazhou from the inside out and the scorpions with those hammers??? My man was a genius. Sadly, he could never have predicted Bai Cha and her son.

Talking about that, the family relationships are a great point in this. Seeing flashbacks about Lanzhou, Ji Mu, Ji Gang and Hua Pinging made me CRY! They were so happy... And seeing Xiao Chiye with his brother and HIS DAD LIKE... Xiao Fangxu and Ji Gang best daddies. Fei Sheng and Yin Chang too, what a beautiful chapter the one that they talk after Fei Sheng has a fight with Qiao Tianya.

Talking about Qiao Tianya, it was refreshing to see a novel with more LGBT characters. The secondary pairings were great, they didn't steal the spotlight from cezhou, but were very enjoyable (even though THAT happened between Songyu). I just wished we could have seen more Qihua moments and OH GOD KONG LIU AND LUO MU??? That got me truly off guard, wasn't expecting at all. Also, I found really interesting how Lanzhou basically got a LGBT parade following him at the end, that was truly the gayest empire ever. I have so many headcanons here, let me scream them: Xue Xiuzhuo is AroAce, Li Jianting is a non-binary legend and Huo Lingyun a Bi King. Also, Fei Sheng is not straight. Said it.

The little animals in this??? I WAS TERRIFIED WHEN LANG TAO XUE JIN FELL IN THAT HOLE YALL I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA DIE. But luckily he didn't. Meng, Hunu, Feng Shuang Ta Yi were all the cutest, I need more novels with cats.

THE CHILDREN - Ding Tao, Li Xiong, Xiao Xun and Jiran. They served chaos, humor and cuteness. I really liked whenever they showed up.

THE LADIESSS - If you have read my other posts you know I love some powerful women. This story did not disappoint me in that sense. Hua Hewei had some despicable acts, but she really got everyone on her hands despite never leaving the inner palace, good for her. Hua Xiangyi is a way better version of her aunt, my girl was smart and cared for the people, an amazing woman. QI ZHUYINNN owns my life, I really adored the fact that she was a badass and that she never hated the fact she was born a girl, slay. Bai Cha was really out there helping women that were sold and their children, that is some real sorority there. Lu Yizhi was so kind, loved seeing her interactions with Lanzhou. Li Jianting was everything, her story was one of the saddest and yet she was doing her best to become a ruler. Duo Er'lan was amazingly brave, even more than Hasen, mad respect for her.

And last, but definitely not least, there is cezhou. I have no words to explain how much I adored these two. The way both of them got their own development and had their own private goals and went after them, so good. They are so well written that I wanna scream. The chapters that are focused on Lanzhou's feelings are not big in number, even when he is the main character, his feelings are shown in discreet ways (the handkerchief!) and most of the time we don't know what he is plotting or thinking. But when we take a peek at what's going inside of his heart, it's... astonishing. And I love seeing how he actually cared for the side characters, even though he doesn't show a lot.

And Ce'an kind of caught me off guard, I thought he was going to be a totally different character but he went and delivered

Xiao Chiye was a perfect fit for Lanzhou and Lanzhou was a perfect fit for Xiao Chiye: they were both in similar situations where only them could understand each other's suffering, and after they leave Qudu we see how much of a match made in heaven they are (not just romantically, but strategically).

THE SEXUAL TENSION AT THE BEGINNING YALL... They were scheming/fighting and flirting at the same time. Iconic.

Read this, you won't regret it!

By the way, I started reading the story in December and finished by March, but I completely forgot to post this! College has been frying my brain these days.

Hopefully I will resume my Sha Po Lang reading and come back here to tell my opinions on the book. (Not sure when though.)

See ya!

[snappydragonsclaw]

Ideas/au version of the b team.(warning this gets dark!)

Cynder: game Canon-ish cynder: grumpy,has a dark history and is trying to make up for her past.has a son named spry and is married to spyro.

Academy cynder: total cinnamon roll. Haven't got corrupted yet.

Toxicverse cynder: a survivor. Was one of the first to see dr.krankcase set a bomb off that makes creatures into hybrid abominations.is grumpy not as grumpy as regular cynder.

Killerlanders cynder: is well evil. She is bloodthirsty and is a cadet. The skylanders released her from her adopted father malefor who was attempting to give her therapy.the skylanders are evil and bloodthirsty in this universe.

Peaceful skylands cynder: she is just a ordinary student. Has abilities still but doesn't need to use them.malefor is not a king. He is just a bad dad that didn't want to see his daughter train to become a police officer and wanted her to become a criminal like he is.peaceful skylands is supposed to be modern and have little to no fantasy elements involved other than their abilities like more of a super hero styled au.

Food fight: regular skylanders game canon food fight: just a silly skylander who happened to take on the gulper single handedly.

Academy food fight: a cadet. Gets bored easily. Never turns his homework in on time.his idol is shroom boom.the only member of the b team who can cook and not set the dorm on fire.

Werewolf au food fight: snap shot's best friend. A werewolf(duh!). Has PTSD.missing a tooth.

Toxicverse food fight: a hybrid that struggles with his murderous urges. Somehow still has a soul.mixed with a scorpion and is taller. Grumpy and has anger issues. Raspy voice. Kills things when he gets mad.

Killerlanders food fight: shoots a poisonous veggie that looks identical to a tomato.killed his parents/creators at a young age and after that was an orphan for obvious reasons but the academy took him in after putting him in therapy so he doesn't kill them. While he is a bit better he is still nuts and unstable much like his bf trigger happy and he smokes even though it's not good for him at all.

Peaceful skylands food fight: a student. Works at the grocery store in town part time.doesnt have his tomato blaster instead he uses his raw abilities and makes tomatoes float and throws them at his enemies that way.blind in one eye and was born like that.

Part 1

[firebirdsdaughter]

But DAD, everyone ELSE is transforming!

[mlwritingprompts]

Submitted Prompt: Scorpion's Tale

Lila lies, all the time.

She doesn't mean to, not really. Not all the time. It started as a bid to get attention for the short time she'd be in any given school -- a year in Moscow, a year in Kuala Lampur, just something to get attention on her. At least, that's what she tells others, but she doesn't really know when to stop. It starts with her lying for her own benefit, and then it's lying to hurt others, and then it's just...lying. For the sake of it.

---

It would be easier, she thinks, if people didn't believe her. She doesn't believe herself sometimes, even if there are occasions where she finds herself slipping, but she just lies, and people listen. She says her favourite colour is bright blue so that that cool girl Aviya whose mom is also a diplomat will be her friend, even though it's awful to her eyes, and she has to keep lying about it. She has to keep lying, and people still believe her, and go out of their way to get her blue things, give her what she wants.

When she's lying for things she wants, it's easier. People listen when she says she's friends with the guys who make the Marvel Comics, and she helped them come up with the idea for the Young Avengers. (They believe this, even though she was five when the Young Avengers were made. She's eleven now, telling this to Aidan, whose dad is on the Board of Directors for some logging company, and who's rich and funny and nice and likes comics. He believes her, even when she laughs at the end like it should be a joke, like he shouldn't believe her.)

She likes it sometimes. She likes when people carry her books or do her homework or buy her things, because who wouldn't like that? But it doesn't feel real. None of it feels real, and Lila is scared of what happens when it stops being something that's hers, something she doesn't quite understand, but can still control to some extent. Something that helps her more than it hurts.

The first time someone doesn't believe her, she's fourteen and in Paris. It's a superhero, yelling at her because Lila said she was her best friend. Ladybug was never supposed to hear the lie, nobody important had ever heard her lies before! Nobody had *cared,* Lila is a fourteen year old girl telling stories to kids her age, she's the kid on the schoolyard who says her dad works at Nintendo! And she gets possessed by an evil butterfly, and then she's saved, and she doesn't know what's *happening* except for the fact that she hates Ladybug now, actually. It's the first time this blessing, this curse, this confusing superpower has failed her, and she hates Ladybug because she doesn't know why.

While she's at home, distance learning because of course her mom would never call her on any of her obvious lies, she spends a lot of time staring at her necklace. It's not a magical trinket, just some upscale jewellery she bought because...she lies. Because she lies as a habit, as a compulsion, as a game, and every time she wants to stop, she takes it further instead. Because when she was thirteen on the blacktop of the international school in Washington DC, she'd planned to explain to her group of friends worshippers idiots classmates that she wasn't actually the president's niece, and instead she pulled out a novelty watch in the shape of that stupid V shield and claimed it was a communicator so that her aunt could always be there for her if she was in danger.

Because when she was thirteen, she had no memory of going out and buying that watch. Just a two-hour gap in her life on a Saturday, and when she came back it was in her bag and she didn't know what to do with it.

She stares at the necklace a lot, and she calls her new class over the Internet. Her mother is at this post for another year, and Lila can't lie her way into moving. (This power only works for stuff that's not important, she thinks. She hopes.) she looks at that stupid fox necklace often enough that she doesn't quite notice the way that it gets sharper, and bluer, and what looked once like a fox tail is looking more and more like the end of a scorpion's tail.

And then one day, a weird bug thing leaps out of the pendant, and grins at Lila with something that she hopes isn't hunger. "Good to meet you," it says, a faint rattle in its tone. "My name is Hook, and you're the proud owner of a brand new Miraculous."

------------------

I don't know, I like the idea of Lila as a character sometimes. I tried to go with the idea that she's a compulsive/pathological liar, which would be manageable if everything else were normal in her life, but unfortunately, at a young age, a Kwami that was unbound to anything yet sort of...attached itself to her?

There are plenty of fics out there where Lila's lies are supernatural in nature, but they're generally used as a method of demonising her and giving Marinette and/or Adrien some badass moments because they were able to break out of it.

Instead, I wanted the idea of Lila's perspective. It's gotta be scary sometimes, having that power, and Hook as I imagine it isn't a very...kind Kwami. It's the Kwami of Manipulation, and has a lot of fun with tugging things to go its way. Without a proper Miraculous, it didn't have an efficient way to interact with the world, so taking control of Lila was the best way to do it. (It's possible this is something only Hook can do, because of manipulation and stuff.)

The way I see it, this would be sort of a horror story at least at the beginning, unless Hook finally manifesting and attaching itself to an object gives Lila more control, and allows her and Hook to become something like partners.

I also hope this doesn't come off as ableist. Pathological lying is a real condition, and while this Lila is a pathological liar, that's not the root cause of her issues so much as being haunted by a tiny annoying god. I deeply apologise if it reads as ableist, and will reconsider my approach to this idea in its entirety.

[kogetanotenshi]

RATING NARAKU'S INCARNATIONS

Yay! Another opinion post!

I really want to do this because as I've already established, Naraku is one of my favorite villains of all time, therefore he will be out of this top, because he would obviously be N° 1.

This top will focus only on the nine children of anime's best single father.

Let's START!

8. These two

Yes, these two. Because I don't even remember their names (I think they both end with "maru'' I guess?). Let's put it this way: I totally skipped these two's arc because I found it to be incredibly uninteresting!

Rate: 1/10.

7. The Infant

I like this little ball of sociopathy more than the first two, but I still think he was too... "meh". He wasn't bad, I think he pulled a good threat but there's not much you can do as a character when you're just a talking baby.

Rate: 4/10.

6. Byakuya

I really like his design, let's start with that. He is a total bishounen and undeniably pretty, his dub VA was very well casted, and that tramp he put Sango in to force her into almost killing Rin? Damn.

The only reason he doesn't have a higher spot? He is basically a replacement goldfish for Kagura (Face it, he is). He has the same way of air transportation as Kagura, fills the same role as Kagura (keeping an eye on the Inugang, giving them info Naraku wanted them to know, all that jazz). Unfortunately he has no deep desire to be free like Kagura so he's just... Fine, for me at least.

Rate: 6.5/7.

5. Goshinki

There's a way to summarize Goshinki's whole character: Small Role, Big Impact.

Goshinki (as much as I can remember) only appeared for like 4 episodes and was an incredibly OP monster (and also I think the only child of Naraku that doesn't look human at all). He was fast, strong, agile, and could read freakin' minds! He might as well be almost the most powerful (behind Naraku himself)... My only problem? Remember I watched InuYasha last year, when I was in my 20s already. Therefore it was almost too easy for me to figure out something was gonna happen. Rumiko wouldn't have introduced such a powerful character so early in the story if she didn’t know there was a hidden reason for it. And lo and behold, Goshinki breaks Tessaiga (very cool moment) but also unleashes InuYasha's Superpowered Evil Side. And I said, I KNEW IT! Because it was kinda obvious. Again, small role, Big Impact.

Rate: 7/10.

4. Muso

For some reason I was unable to find a gif.

Muso was basically introduced to gives us an idea of how was good ol' Onigumo before he was mauled by fire and found by Kikyo. He is a hedonist, a murderer, a (possibly) rapist, and was proud of being a pure son of a b*tch. And you know what? It works, at least we know why someone like HIM would sell his soul to demons in order to move again. And his body horror, turning into a scorpion monster was very squicky, kudos to Rumiko for her body horror! Perhaps the only thing I don't like about Muso is his design, he looks too human. He is still supposed to be an Incarnation of Naraku and therefore should at least have eye makeup like his daddy or pointed ears. But whatevs. I really liked Muso. The Reincarnated Onigumo.

Rate: 7/10.

3. Hakudoshi.

Aka the Only one who acknowledges Naraku as his dad and proudly names himself "Son of Naraku". I really, really like this young punk, I like his weapon, his design, his battlehorse, his voice, and I find it hilarious how his 11 years old ass bosses around Kagura, it’s really funny. The problem is that he doesn't know his place and got killed because of it. Imo he needed more screentime, he had way more potential.

Rate: 8/10.

2. Kagura.

The fandom's favorite.

And I can really tell why. Her story is very sad from a certain perspective, she didn’t want to be working for Naraku and she clearly hated the guy. Her wind powers are on point with her "Lady of War" character and her necromancy is a very interesting contrast to such a lady.

The thing is, while I like Kagura, the only reason she's not number one is because, guys, let's remember she's not a misunderstood puppydog? At least not completely, she (in her first appearances) enjoyed fighting with the Inugang and didn’t seem too bothered with the idea of slaughtering Koga's whole clan. She might hate that Naraku bosses over her but I can't say she's a boohoo poor innocent sunshine baby who deserved better, sorry 🤷‍♂️

Rate: 8.5/10.

And the top spot goes to...

1. Kanna.

Ah yes, the firstborn, the eldest sister, the soul-taking, hole-digging white girl! I LOVE Kanna and you can tell with how much I bring her up in my Incorrect quotes that involve Naraku. This ghost-looking creepy child is a character I'd totally like to adopt.

I'm sorry but I have a soft spot for unemotional characters who end up becoming emotional and having feelings. And also, of all the Incarnations, you can tell Kanna was the only one who was NOT inherently evil. She just followed Naraku's orders but she didn’t enjoy anything she did (because she seemingly didn’t feel anything by the time?) and her death in the anime? My eyes watered more with her death than with Kagura's.

Kanna is and always will be, my favorite Naraku Incarnation.

Rate: 1000/10 because she's perfect and I want to adopt her!

Please remember this ranking is based only on my own opinions, you can share them or you can not, if you want, you can let me know if you agree or disagree with this ranking, I'd love to read your own opinions!

[lumoshyperion]

Your thoughts on the Cursed Child giving us pure good Slytherins like Scorpius, Albus and Craig? I'm not a Slytherin myself but it's always good to see Hogwarts houses more nuance than a house being purely good or purely evil.

It's one of my favourite things about Cursed Child, honestly? It dismantles a lot of the preconceived notions about Slytherin, and it critiques Harry and his friend’s opinions on them. It takes that scene at the end of the books ("What if I am put in Slytherin?") and expands upon it.

I've already answered a question about Craig, so I'll mostly talk about Albus and Scorpius and their relationship with their house. It's interesting seeing or hearing how each actor responds in the sorting scene. Scorpius varies from annoyed, but not surprised - to happy and relieved, in Nyx's case. But Albus is always shocked. Sean changed her reaction up every time I saw her. Sometimes they were smiling. Still riding on the high of that conversation in the train carriage to Hogwarts - which made the look in their eyes at the sorting hat's decision all the more heartbreaking. And sometimes she was already terrified. Wringing her hands, her eyes darting through the audience as the hat stalls over Albus' house. And then it happens, and they go completely still with shock.

There's a lot of stock put into characters choosing their houses, but I don't think Albus or Scorpius had a choice. Albus didn't ask for Slytherin and, even if he did, how do we know that the hat would have put him there just because he asked and not because it's where he belonged? I think a lot of people used to misinterpret the traits of a Slytherin as purely bad or black and white. Ambition? Cunning? Doing anything to get what they want? Surely these aren't the traits of a good person. Surely no one that has the ability to be kind or selfless would be sorted into Slytherin.

But one of the major bullies of Scorpius and Albus is Polly Chapman, and she's in Gryffindor. Rose, also in Gryffindor, claims that she used to be best friends with Albus, but it's clear from their conversations that she doesn't talk to him anymore and that he doesn't trust her anymore. Even his older brother is a model Gryffindor student, and yet he teases Albus constantly. Something we forget is that these are all teenagers. Scorpius, Albus, and Rose are characters we first meet when they're eleven years old, and their arcs in the play end when they're fourteen. We're all still developing our sense of self at these ages. None of us knew who we were or what we wanted. We acted based on impulse and on years of influence from our parents, our family, our friends - anyone older than us who we believed must have known better.

There's something inherently flawed about putting eleven year old’s into houses that whittle them down to the most basic of traits. Because it's not as simple as that? Hermione could have been a Ravenclaw - she's got the brains for it, and the thirst for learning. But she could have been a Slytherin, too - isn't her ambition one of the first pieces of dialogue about her in the play? Craig could be a Hufflepuff. He's kind and loyal, he's quiet and shy. We see very little ambition from him in the play, although we do know that he's prefect and that he's clever enough to be able to do the Scorpion King's homework as well as his own. I think Craig is a perfect example of houses not defining a student's entire personality. He's the perfect example of how much more complex and nuanced these kids are, beyond what their houses say about them.

With Scorpius and Albus, we have a clearer idea of why they were sorted into Slytherin. We see how well Scorpius does in the other reality, concealing his true feelings and moving from each scene with such clear goals in mind and without ever faltering in his search for answers. There's something he says in the Forbidden Forest to Snape that I think sums my answer up really well - "The world changes and we change with it. I am better off in this world." Because, like it or not, he is popular in this world. He is well liked and respected in this world. He sees that and a part of him enjoys that - he and Albus even discuss it later on in the dormitory, and Scorpius reveals how much braver and stronger he feels for his experiences. But, as he goes on to say, "the world is not better. And I don't want that."

It's about the fact that, while he does enjoy being popular and respected, none of that matters because he still sees how cruel and jaded the Scorpion King is. He sees Craig cowering at the sight of him in the library and he hates it. Of course he fixes the world because he knows it can't go on like this. But he also fixes it because he looks right through the power and strength of his alternate self, and he sees a selfishness and cruelty that he cannot accept. When Sean's Albus would laugh and bring up Polly Chapman fancying Scorpius, Nyx would give the most unimpressed shrug. And then their voice would lower and their expression would darken, as they explained just how awful the Scorpion King was. How none of that popularity or respect mattered, because it concealed an evil that Scorpius hated to have found existed in himself, even in another reality.

And continuing with the theme of that scene in the dormitory, we also hear Albus dismantling his own actions that he's made up until that point. He worries that he only wanted to save Cedric to prove himself. He only put their lives on the line because he wanted to show the world that he isn’t just Harry Potter’s son. That he isn’t just a Slytherin in a family of Gryffindors - that he can be brave and heroic, too. But there are different kinds of bravery. And Albus could have done anything he wanted to remove himself from the shadow of his dad. He’s a clever kid. He’s cunning and resourceful - he’s more of a Slytherin than even Scorpius, who comes from a family of Slytherins. But instead, he overhears a grieving father begging Harry to give him his son back, and he decides to do something about it. He decides to put himself at risk, running away from school and changing time itself to save the life of a complete stranger. Because he sees the love Amos has for Cedric - the kind of love he doesn’t feel from his own dad - and instead of feeling jealous or angry, he... wants to help. He wants to do what his dad cannot and bring an old man his son back. That’s kind. That’s heroic. 

“When Amos Diggory asked for the Time-Turner my father denied they even existed. He lied to an old man who just wanted his son back - who just loved his son. And he did it because he didn’t care... because he doesn’t care. Everyone talks about all the brave things Dad did. But he made some mistakes too. Some big mistakes, in fact. I want to set one of those mistakes right. I want us to save Cedric.” - Albus, Act One Scene Three.

“I know what it is to be the spare. Your son didn’t deserve to be killed, Mr Diggory. We can help you get him back.” - Albus, Act One Scene Fourteen.

"Cedric? Your dad loves you.” “What?” “Your dad loves you. Very much. I just thought you should know that.” - Albus and Cedric, Act Three Scene Twenty. 

In the final scene, Albus talks about how he wanted Delphi killed for what she did, and he says that maybe this is his “Slytherin side”. Maybe this is what the sorting hat saw in him. Because even after everything, even after all that he experienced and all that he’s seen in both Scorpius and Craig and the other Slytherin students, he’s still held down by the misconceptions about Slytherin. And that’s so unfair? It’s unfair that children have been made to feel like this. Albus is empathetic. Scorpius is kind. Craig is loyal. But they’re put into a box that none of them asked for and that is so hard to wrap your head around at that age. Because you don’t know what you did wrong, but you do know that it must have been something because suddenly everyone treats you differently. So you try to explain it to yourself. You think of everything you’ve ever said or done in a different light. And you wonder if maybe, just maybe, you are what they say you are. And you start to doubt every part of you that’s good or kind or compassionate. And it’s something that Albus struggles with the most in the play. And I’m going to close this ask with some quotes from Draco to Harry, because I think I’ve gone on for too long and because what he said is very relevant. 

“You can’t talk to Albus. I can’t talk to Scorpius. That’s what this is about. Not about my son being evil. Because as much as you might take the word of a haughty centaur, you know the power of friendship.”

“My father thought he was protecting me. Most of the time. People say parenting is the hardest job in the world - they’re wrong - growing up is. We all just forget how hard it was. I think you have to make a choice - at a certain point - of the man you want to be. And I tell you at that time you need a parent or a friend. And if you’ve learnt to hate your parent by then and you have no friends... then you’re all alone. And being alone - that’s so hard.”

“Maybe the black cloud Bane saw was Albus’s loneliness. His pain. His hatred. Don’t lose the boy. You’ll regret it. And so will he. Because he needs you and Scorpius.”

ask me questions about year two, year three, and other things!

[lupgang25]

My dank ass be tired af, and yet I somehow still have enough brainpower to come up with the stupid idea of a Lupin Movie!sonic Au.

Basically, Lupin and some others of the caper gang are like from another planet/dimension and somehow they get adopted by Zenigata, the Hamburger Lord.

Lupin as Sonic the hedgehog. Whatever he’s human or not, idk. He has super speed and the Nezumi or the Scorpion clan wanted to capture him. So he escapes to Earth to hide. If he meets Jigen there or spends years alone before any earthling encounter happens is up to debate. Really, there are many ways this can play out.

Jigen could be either Tails or as a human Lupin meets on Earth. Circumstances can vary. Would probably freak out at first but eventually becomes best friend/big brother role for Lupin.

Fujiko would be a sort of Amy or something. While Amy isn’t in the movie, it could be in this AU. Personality is her usual Fujiko self, but is a badass when she wants to be one tho.

Zenigata as Tom, but instead of being the Donut Lord he might as well be the Ramen lord or the Hamburger lord. Either way, Lupin still calls him pops. Zeny is like: Poor tired af old man married to the job who somehow ends up as the dad to a bunch of dumbass capers.

Maria or Laura or something-something Pops love interest as Maddie. Seriously, how many momentary love interest do the guys have in this series?

Goemon as Knuckles. Heard we’re gonna see Knuckles in the sequel. Here? Most likely looking for Lupin to capture him. Probably hired by the evil clan who tried to kidnap the thief in the past. Ultimately chooses to side with Lupin instead and befriends him and Jigen.

[its-chelisey-stuff]

Word of Honor eps 21-30 (thoughts)

So, instead of doing a general opinion (that is sure to get messy because my brain is trying to keep up with so many things these days lol) I decided to write down just a few thoughts on each ep. It worked great to remind me what had happened in these past 10 eps. Enjoy my random thoughts!

Ep 21: YeBaiYi is off to fetch someone who can save ZZS. The family has reunited!!! Also, poor WKX he seems very torn but also doesn't exactly know what's up? Scorpion King is trying something but I don't get it. Also, poor beauty Ghost.

Ep 22: well that should be illegal, it was so painful to see WKX that tortured. Dude practically had an attack because his past is so damn traumatic. btw ZZS must know WKX is the Ghost Valley leader, right? Also, that beggar was totally going to kill someone, he had a knife, so back off, CWN. I like you a lot but not at the expense of my badass A-Xiang. i appreciated the abs 😏🤤

Ep 23: WKX is a cranky bish after waking up from trauma induced faintness lol but ZZS can calm him down in a second. Also, he totally knows WKX is ghost valley leader, which had to be obvious but I still wonder what gave him away. Awww A-Xiang being worried of not being worthy for CWN broke my heart. You're the best and a badass my girl. We had father in law WKX and it was the best. Also, ZZS losing his senses is so tragic. Why was this ep so sad?

Ep 24: Such a bittersweet ep. If there's no WKX trauma time, it's ZZS's instead. Also, gay domestic life is the best kind of fluff I can ask for. Just say yes, WKX and be the master of Four Seasons alongside your soulmate. Also, what is truly the origin of ZZS? He has noble blood? Who is he? In the novel it was never clear to me, but I'm expecting some answers here.

Ep 25: WKX'S angsty monologue in front of his once upon a time Master’s grave will live in my mind rent free from now on. Finally we know how WKX figured out who ZZS was, but I still don't get how/why WKX and his family were left behind in Four Seasons, I mean I guess it’s because they thought they were already safe. I can't believe everyone and their mothers know that WKX is the leader of Ghost Valley. I don't think I like this change from the novel 🤭 it was such a powerful reveal because no one had any idea. Now all of China knows lol

Ep 26: Wow Zhao Jing is such a sick bastard, but what's new? His scenes with Scorpion King were creepy ans sick lol i kinda pity him. Awww WKX you really have no plans for this, do you? He is taking such care to do everything quietly so ZZS and Chengling don't find out and ZZS is worried for him because he knows everything. Such fools in love. When it's Lord Seventh coming??

Ep 27: Omggg this episode was a delight to see for my shipper heart, if only everything could end here, AhXiang and CWN happy in his sect, OTP and their son in Four Seasons and just forget about all the chaos outside in the world. But no, drama is coming and ZZS still has to be cured. Also, Scorpion my man, wake the hell up, that evil old bastard is manipulating you and you're just letting him ugh

Ep 28: Finally the Prince appears and lol it looks Like Zhao Jing is going nuts, it was hilarious to see the ruckus he made in front of the memorial of all his dead friends. I wonder if this means he still has some conscience...I laughed so many times this ep because of the contrast between the evil dudes and their conspiracies to get the Glazed armour vs the domestic fluff of the two gay dads and their adoptive child celebrating the new year hahaha

Ep 29: Ooofff what an episode! I loved it! So many things happened! Poor WKX being so tortured and guilty for the the death of Han Ying, it was so sad but tragedy didn't stop there, since they took ZZS away. Finally Lord Seventh and his wizard bf made it lol just in time to knock out WKX who was having an ep of madness, though I'm sure he will still be angry when he wakes up and will try to kill Zhao Jing again (one can only hope). I can't believe CWN found out about WKX being the Ghost Master that way, but it speaks volumes of his feelings for AhXiang that he didn't reveal her identity in that moment.

Ep 30: What a disgusting piece of shit is the Prince, it unsettled me so much that he kidnapped ZZS and dressed him up like his plaything and then threw around the "I thought we were soulmates" argument. Eww. no, sir, please go away. At least it looks like ZZS got a little revenge against him. Not enough of WKX this ep, but I hope next is better on that department along with Lord Seventh and his wizard bf. I'm happy A-Xiang and CWN moved past the whole revelation of her identity, their love is so pure. Also, Scorpion my dude, rebel and kill your sugar daddy he's goddamn awful.

I liked that the focus of these ten eps (concerning our two male leads' portion of the story) was on their pasts, who they were before meeting each other and their regrets and traumas about it, but also, that they became close by being honest and vulnerable with each other, and now they practically have no secrets between the two of them (or do they? Looking at ya, WKX). Seeing their tranquil and sweet domestic life with their adopted son at the Four Seasons was a delight (it was also one of my favorite bits to read in the novel and I'm so glad they kept it for the drama a pity they couldn't include the hugs and cuddles on the bed at midnight but in my mind they happened) but all good things must come to an end someday and I guess that, given that the whole martial arts world is looking for WKX and that ZZS could only get so far before the crazy Prince found him (on top of him slowly dying by the nails) it was only a matter of time before things escalated and got to where they are. Now we have to believe love conquers all hahaha and I cannot wait to see WKX rescuing his husband in all his dark ala Master of the Ghost Valley gloriousness!

I would love to write an essay on A-Xiang and CWN love story and how pure and true their bond is, but because I know their ending that would only mean torture for me, so I will only say that I'm so glad that they're together and able to talk to each other and clear misunderstandings. Communication is key for any healthy and long lasting relationship.

Drama plot was always a bit different from novel plot, but at this point in the drama they're telling a completely different story so I have no idea what's next (well, I do, I know spoilers but I also need the context) but I'm excited nonetheless. I would say though I have no idea who really has the glazed armour and who has fake pieces, damn you Wen KeXing lol I'm just so confused but it doesn't really matter because as long as they don't have the key, it's all useless. And I do know who has the key and where it's gonna end up (or with whom 😏 hahaha). I'm actually a bit sad that I know that spoiler, could have been great to be surprised as I watched the drama but that's on me lol

Because I've been following the drama on Youku's youtube channel, this experience has been longer for me than it was for lots of others, and I liked that but because of it the withdrawal syndrome will hit me a lot harder. Ugh and I'm not looking forward to it.

Last six eps, here we go!

[wonderfulworldofmichaelford]

Psycho Analysis: Spider-Man Movie Villains

(WARNING! This analysis contains SPOILERS!)

Spider-Man, Spider-Man, he does whatever a spider can. And what do spiders seem really good at? Amassing huge quantities of hatred and animosity! True to the wily arachnids that inspired him, Spider-Man has quite the impressive gallery of foes, one that I might say rivals Batman as the greatest in comic book history with how colorful, crazy, and creative they are. Even villains derivative of one another, like Hobgoblin and Green Goblin or Carnage and Venom, manage to carve out unique niches that help make them fun and memorable.

And thankfully, these qualities usually translated pretty well to film! I’ve talked about how good Mysterio, Vulture, Kingpin, and Prowler are before, so now it’s time to cover the others all in one fell swoop! From the Raimi trilogy, we have Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, Harry Osborn, Sandman, and Eddie Brock/Venom; from the Andrew Garfield duology, we have Lizard, Electro, Rhino, and Harry Osborn again; and leftover from Into the Spider-Verse we have Olivia Octavius, Tombstone, Scorpion, and that film’s brief take on Green Goblin! Oh, and why not throw in Riot from Venom while we’re at it, because he sucks way too much to get his own Psycho Analysis.

Motivation/Goals: A lot of villains are motivated by the classic motivation: revenge. All of the Green Goblins manage to have this as a main part of their actions, making them remarkably consistent and very easy to discuss. The Norman of the Raimi films wants to take out his anger at being frozen out of his own company, and his son wants revenge for his death, while the Harry of the Garfield films wants his vengeance because Spider-Man wouldn’t help cure him of his otherwise incurable disaease that would kill him (a fact made worse because Spider-Man is his actual best friend, Peter Parker, who is coldly condemning his pal to death). The only one who doesn’t really fit is the Spider-Verse take on Green Goblin, and that’s more because he has extremely limited screentime and spends all of it fighting Peter and being scary as hell.

Eddie Brock/Venom is a very interesting case as both halves of the character are motivated by different reasons. The symbiote half is, of course, motivated by the fact that Peter has tried to rid himself of it via using a church bell to kill it. Eddie, on the other hand, has the most absolutely hilarious motivation ever: He wants Peter Parker to die because Peter exposed him for submitting fraudulent pictures to J. Jonah Jameson. Eddie literally breached journalistic ethics but apparently Peter’s to blame for exposing his literal, actual crime! And he prays to God for Peter to die! This version of Eddie is cartoonishly hilarious.Finally, we have Max Dillon, AKA Electro, who is lashing out at a world that did nothing but belittle and demean him, giving him a far more sympathetic motive for revenge.

Kurt Connors is an interesting halfway point between the Doc Ocks and the villains above, because he is not really evil and his whole transformation came about for altruistic scientific reasons, as he tested his serum on himself because they were going to test it out on the public without consent. While the serum drives him mad, he initially only goes after those who were going to use his formula with people as guinea pigs.

Interestingly, the two Doc Ocks contrast each other. While both of them are doing evil deeds for scientific reasons, Otto Octavius is being forced by his tentacles and genuinely wishes to make the world a better place otherwise. Olivia, on the other hand, is a gleeful sadist who doesn’t care who she hurts as long as she can get some sort of scientific knowledge from it.

Sandman is interesting case because his motivations are entirely sympathetic and despite being the man who killed Uncle Ben, it was entirely accidental and he always regretted it. He only ever wanted to get money to save his daughter. It’s really hard not to sympathize with a guy who turned to desperate measures because the American health care system sucks even in a universe where a dude dressed in a bright red suit swings around New York.

Then there are all the rest. Aleksei Systevich, AKA Rhino, is just a criminal, and has barely any screentime to establish a motivation beyond that. This is especially hilarious because the ads really hyped this guy up, only for him to get maybe five minutes of screentime, with most of it at the very end of the movie before the credits (we don’t even get to see his final battle). Tombstone and Scorpion are basically just lackeys for Kingpin, with little established beyond that. Scorpion almost shows up entirely out of nowhere, just popping in for the fight at Aunt May’s house and then the final battle. And then there’s Riot, who just wants to start a symbiote apocalypse on Earth.

Performance: Willem Dafoe, Alfred Molina, and Thomas Haden Church as Green Goblin, Doctor Octopus, and Sandman in the Raimi trilogy are, in a word, iconic. Dafoe brings a gleeful, cackling hamminess to the Goblin that perfectly suits him and manages to steal every single with how delightfully, cartoonishly evil he is combined with some hilariously chummy moments with Spider-Man. Molina as Ock goes in the opposite direction of hamminess, where instead of making Octavius cartoonishly evil, he gives him this air of gravitas to the point where he somehow manages to make this villain with giant metal tentacles that are controlling his mind come off as sophisticated and serious as Hannibal Lecter. Church meanwhile just looks eerily perfect as Sandman, as if he were ripped straight from the comics and put onscreen, and then of course there’s how well he manages to sell the emotional moments of the character.

The Harrys are a rather mixed bag, sad to say. James Franco and Dennis DeHaan aren’t really bad actors, but they unfortunately have the problem of living in the shadow of the actor who played their dad (Franco) or being in a really awful movie with a terrible script (DeHaan). Franco at least makes up for this by being hilariously, cartoonishly evil to the extent of his dad in the third Raimi film, but DeHaan unfortunately falls rather flat. Topher Grace as Venom is a choice that seems baffling until you realize Raimi cast an actor like this on purpose because he hates Venom so much he didn’t want to give him any dignity.

Jamie Foxx as Electro seems odd at first, but I feel it’s actually a great casting choice, and despite how unbelievably stupid the script is, he’s actually able to do a fairly good job. If his character was in a better movie, he’d probably get a lot less flak (and he’ll be getting his chance soon enough, apparently). Overall, he’s the best part of the Garfield films. Rhys Ifans and Paul Giamatti as Lizard and Rhino are serviceable, but neither film they’re in really gives them much to work with. Giamatti at least gets to steal the show with his brief scenes by being an absolute ham, but Ifans is sadly a bit forgettable in his role (though not for lack of trying on his part).

Now onto the Spider-Verse ensemble! Considering how I gushed over her delightful performance as the Wicked Witch of Westview in WandaVision as well as the fact she is solely responsible for me resurrecting this series from its long hiatus, it should come as no shock at all that Kathryn Hahn as Olivia Octavius is just perfect. Controversial opinion, I know, might get some flak for this hot take. Jorma Taccone as Green Goblin, Joaquin Cosio as Scorpion, and Marvin Jones III as Tombstone all do well for what they’re given, but it’s clear most of the love among Kingpin’s henchmen was given to her (and Prowler, but he got his own review where I talked about how great he is).

Oh, right, Riot. I forgot about him. Riz Ahmed, who plays the human villain Carlton Drake I forgot to mention because he’s incredibly boring, is a really good (and sexy) actor. Unfortunately, he doesn’t get to be quite as good and sexy as an actor like him should be in his dual role. In an interesting subversion of how things usually go, he ends up being rather bland compared to the hammy, bonkers hero. This was Tom Hardy’s show, and no one was stealing it from him.

Final Fate: The Raimi films were all made during a time when, if your name wasn’t Magneto and you were a superhero movie villain, you were dying, a trend I’m certainly glad is finally starting to die off. Thankfully, Green Goblin manages to stick around and posthumously influence Harry, so in his case it’s not so bad. Harry and Doc Ock both manage to overcome the darkness in their hearts at the end and sacrifice their lives to help save the day, while Eddie dies after becoming such a simp for the symbiote he leaps into it while Peter is blowing it up. With Sandman, Peter actually has a touching reconciliation with Sandman at the end, forgiving him for the death of Uncle Ben before Sandman dissolves into dust and floats away on the breeze. And no, this is his power, not Thanos’ snap reaching across time, space, and dimensions; Sandman actually gets out of these films alive.

The other villains actually get off easier, as most of them go to jail. From the Amazing Spider-Man films, DeHaan’s Goblin and Rhys Ifan’s Lizard both end up in prison, and it’s safe to assume that the villains of Spider-Verse are going to jail alongside Kingpin. Octavius was hit by a bus, sure, but considering how popular she ended up being it would be really dumb to have that actually kill her. With Electro and Rhino though, it’s really ambiguous, the former because he’s made of electricity and the way he was defeated means it is possible he survived, and the latter because we never actually see the outcome of his battle with Spider-Man. If the film they were in was actually good and warranted sequels, we may have found out what their true fates were, but at the very least Electro is moving over to the MCU alongside Molina’s Doc Ock.

Oh, right, forgot Riot again. He dies.

Best Scene/Best Quote: I’m combining these this time just to make it easier on me, because in at least in a couple cases the two are the same.

Green Goblin has a lot to choose from, to the point where it’s easy to cop out and just say every scene he’s in is amazing. I’ve always been fond of his chummy chat with Spider-Man on the rooftop, or the scene where he terrifies Aunt May, or the scene where he attacks the parade and vaporizes the board of directors with pumpkin bombs.

Dock Ock is easy: the train battle. This might be one of the best action scenes in any superhero movie ever, and since he’s the villain in it, it almost goes without saying..There’s a reason this scene is singled out so often.

Eddie Brock and DeHaan Goblin actually have their best scenes also be their best lines. Eddie praying for God to kill Peter Parker and DeHaan!Harry screaming “YOU’RE A FRAUD, SPIDER-MAN!” after Spidey refuses to give him a life-saving blood transfusion are just so absolutely hilarious and memorable that you can’t hate them.

Aside from the powerful forgiveness moment at the film’s end, I think it’s really indisputable that the best scene from Sandman, and perhaps the Raimi trilogy as a whole, is the scene of Sandman’s creation. Words really can’t do it justice, so just watch:

Electro’s best moment isn’t even actually part of the movie, unless you want to count his rendition of “The Itsy-Bitsy Spider.” No, his is from a Tumblr post, proving definitively that Electro’s power can not be contained.

For Olivia, I’d say either of the reveals for her are great. You can go with the twist that she’s the Doc Ock of Miles’ universe, or the twist that she might have fucked Aunt May. Either way, you can’t really go wrong.

The rest of the villains… yeah, I’ve got nothing. At least with Rhino you can say his entire time on screen was fun, but the rest? Nope. They’re kind of just there.

Final Thoughts & Score:

Green Goblin

Where to begin with this guy? He is everything I look for in a great villain: he’s hammy and cartoonish, he can be terrifying and threatening when he wants to be, he has a ridiculous yet memorable costume, every word out of his mouth is hilarious and memorable, and he’s played by an amazing actor. It’s hard to dispute that Doc Ock is the best villain in Raimi’s trilogy, but Goblin is definitely the most fun. If you thought he’d get less than a 10/10, you thought wrong.

Doctor Octopus

Aside from Green Goblin, Doc Ock is Spidey’s most iconic and memorable foe, nd this adaptation of him does not disappoint. By making him a more tragic and somewhat anti-villainous figure and putting him in the hands of someone as awesome and talented as Alfred Molina, they managed to make such a cartoonish villain retain that comic book silliness while still being a legitimately imposing antagonist. I suppose it helps that a director who knows how to balance silly and serous like Raimi helps. It’s absolutely not a shock that the MCU wants to bring Molina back, because really, I can’t see anyone making the dubious doctor nearly as cool as the 10/10 performance Molina gave.

Harry Osborn

Franco’s Harry has an interesting arc, but one that doesn’t make a whole lot of sense under scrutiny. Frankly, his descent into villain is handled well but when he actually gets to be a villain in the third film, things fall apart.. But at any rate, he gets to be cartoonishly hilarious while he pettily ruins Peter’s life, so I think a 3/10 is warranted just for how goofy he is.

Eddie Brock/Venom

For the longest time, I hated Eddie Brock, but loved the Venom symbiote for its fantastic design… A design hampered by the fact Topher Grace keeps sticking his face through the symbiote and talking in his normal voice. But then one day I remembered Eddie literally prays to God for Peter Parker to die, and I realize that as crappy as this version of Venom is, he’s undoubtedly hilarious. A 3/10 mainly because of how hilariously bad he is, though the design of the symbiote is unironically great. Shame Grace kept sticking his face through and that Raimi hates the character.

Sandman

Sandman is a villain who deserved a better movie. Sure, Spider-Man 3 is fun and funny, but a character with this much depth and emotional weight deserved a film of the caliber of Spider-Man 2. At any rate, he adds a bit of class and dignity to the proceedings, and Thomas Haden Church really nails it. He’s a 9/10 for sure.

Lizard

Lizard is just a very boring villain, which is a shame because Lizard is not a boring villain in the comics and other media like the cartoons. I don’t really know if he was the best choice for Spider-Man’s first outing; I’ll at least give him that he’s a more inspired choice than doing the Green Goblin again, but that doesn’t score him higher than a 4/10. As boring as he ends up being, that library fight was pretty cool and had a great Stan Lee cameo, so I can’t say he’s the bottom of the barrel.

Electro

Electro is a villain who desperately deserved a better movie. While his backstory as a nerdy fanboy who got kicked around by the world is nothing new, or fresh, or original, Jamie Foxx manages to make the character work fairly well even though almost everything around him is unbelievably stupid. The fact he managed to make “Don’t you know? I’m Electro” sound cool and badass is a testament to his skill, and thankfully he’s coming back in the MCU in some way, so I guess Electro’s power can not be contained to a single movie. Still, this iteration only manages to get to a 6/10, because while all the elements of greatness are there, he’s hampered by the abysmal writing.

Rhino

Paul Giamatti certainly looks like he’s having a blast here. His attitude is almost infectious, but alas, his time is too brief to bring any great joy, and his jarring appearance out of nowhere at the end of the film certainly do him no favors. Still, Giamatti keeps Rhino from sinking any lower than a 5/10.

Harry Osborn

This Harry is just a joke. His arc makes no sense, his actions are unbelievable, and he ends up looking like a really poor Warwick Davis Leprechaun cosplayer. The only thing of note about him is that he’s a Harry who becomes the Green Goblin before his father, something that doesn’t happen very often, and that’s not enough to score this loser higher than a 2/10. Not even killing Gwen Stacy makes him any more impressive, and that’s a real shame.

Olivia Octavius

Olivia Octavius is widely beloved by just about everyone who sees the film.. myself included. This is just a really fun, clever twist on Doctor Octopus, and it’s the sort of character you really hope gets a Harley Quinn-level break into becoming an iconic character across multiple forms of media. Kathryn Hahn’s fun performance and the wonderful design and fight sequences really make Olivia a 9/10.

Tombstone

Tombstone is a villain you might actually forget is in the movie, which is a damn shame. He’s an albino black man, a badass bodyguard, and has a striking design, but he gets a single line of dialogue and is tasked with bodyguarding a man who not only has cyborgs under his employ, but who murdered Spider-Man with his bare hands. Tombstone ultimately feels really superfluous, which is a shame because around the same time Into the Spider-Verse came out he had a very memorable and well-liked appearance in the Spider-Man video game. It’s a real shame but I gotta give this version of Tombstone a 2/10.

Scorpion

Scorpion has a lot of problems of Tombstone above, but he makes up for a lot of his flaws by having a really cool and striking design. Does it really make him a great villain? No. He’s not particularly well-characterized and he’s really just there to look cool and give Olivia backup. He’s a 4/10 at best, saved from being lower only by his awesome look. Looking cool really can get you far in some cases.

Green Goblin

Out of all the really minor villains in Spider-Verse, this version of Norman might be the best. His role is tiny, only appearing during the scene where the Peter Parker of Miles’ universe gets killed, but his battle with Spider-Man is what sets the entire plot in motion. His cool and terrifying design definitely help make him stand out enough to earn at least a 6/10.

Riot & Carlton Drake

Look, there’s a reason I kept forgetting these guys. They’re not memorable in the slightest. Venom may be a fantastic work of art, but that’s because Tom Hardy kills it in his dual role as Eddie Brock and the Venom symbiote. Drake is just a boring corporate villain, the kind I hate talking about and the kind I’d only ever even bother mentioning in a review like this. And Riot is just a generic Big Gray CGI Monster for the hero to have a final battle with. Neither of these two are particularly interesting, and neither deserves more than a 2/10.

That’s it, right? There can’t be any more villains, I must have covered them all. Well, not quite. There’s one more character who is most certainly an antagonist and who I really, really want to talk about. And you’re absolutely not going to believe who it is.

You ready?

Psycho Analysis: Emo Peter

“Now wait,” you may be asking, “Emo Peter? Really? How does he count as a villain?” Well, as Schafrillas pointed out in his video on Spider-Man 3, Emo Peter is actually the antagonist for much of the second act. Peter, influenced by the symbiote, becomes a raging jackass and hurts and alienates everyone around him by being a colossal douchebag, not to mention how violent he gets as Spider-Man. This is very much an extreme case of the hero’s greatest enemy being themselves, because literally, Peter’s enemy in the chunk of the movie with Emo Peter is his own overinflated ego

Motivation/Goals: I mean, at the end of the day, it’s still Peter. He still wants to do the typical Peter Parker stuff, he’s just a jackass while he does it.

Performance: It’s Tobey Maguire busting loose and getting to act like an absolute doofus. There is literally nothing about this that isn’t amazing and I’m sorry if you can’t see it.

Final Fate: Peter eventually comes to realize that maybe the symbiote making him act like an egomaniacal tool is not a good thing, and so rebels against it, ultimately leading him to the roof of a church where Eddie Brock is praying for him to die and, well, the rest is history.

Best Scene:

Best Dance Move:

Final Thoughts & Score: Emo Peter has gotten a bad reputation over the years, but Schafrillas’ video really made me rethink why. As he puts it, Emo Peter comes off not as someone cool, but as what a loser thinks a cool person would be (which makes him still a loser). It seems fairly likely that the audience isn’t supposed to be rooting for Emo Peter or finding him cool, but instead finding him insufferable, ridiculous, and funny. We’re supposed to be laughing at Peter’s egomania, at his absurd and hammy showboating, not cheering him on and desiring to emulate him.

And that ultimately makes it more satisfying when Peter overcomes his ego and decides to rid himself of the symbiote. It might seem like I’m giving Spider-Man 3 a lot of credit here, but even Sam Raimi half-assing a movie wouldn’t leave things completely devoid of underlying brilliance. Emo Peter isn’t a villain in the sense that he’s some superpowered antagonist, he’s a physical representation of the negative impacts of fame and ego on Peter. This is Peter letting go of what makes him a hero and just reveling in being an absolute jerkwad to everyone around him.

I love the memes as much as everyone else of course, but Emo Peter is also a pretty clever symbolic foe. But even though I’m giving him an 8/10, we all know the real reason why he’s scoring so high:

Ok, but that’s it now, right? No more Spider-Man villains? Well, maybe for now. But don’t forget:

There’s gonna be Carnage.

[my-random-ocs]

Zia grew up at Camp Half-Blood, ever since a monster killed her father, leaving her and her older sister orphaned. It was her home. She loved mythology lessons, monster fighting class, and Capture the Flag. She loved her siblings, and her best friend, Annabeth. She even gained a baby niece. Everything was perfect. But when a war begins, suddenly everything Zia built starts to crumble.

Act 1

Battle of the Labyrinth

Prologue

Percy Blows Up Another Building

We Fight Demon Scorpions

We Get Another Deadly Quest

Into the Maze

Poison and Dippin’ Dots Suck

We Meet Another Stoplight

We Blow Up (Another) National Monument

My Godly Mom Gives Me A Makeover

I Visit My Girlfriend

I Battle My Ex-Best Friend

Rachel Performs and Exorcism

I Get Into A Fight With My Dog

We Eat Blue Cake

Last Olympian

A Child of the Eldest Dogs

Percy and Nico Go to Westport

We Go to War

The Battle of Manhattan

My Heart Shatters

We’re Given Hope

Percy Gets a Piggyback Ride

Annabeth Flies a Helicopter

No Forgiveness

My Niece Fights an Army

The Gods Pay Their Child Support

I Break Up With My Girlfriend

Intermission

Act 2

Teen Wolf Season 3

Tattoo

Chaos Rising

Fireflies

Unleashed

Frayed

Motel California

Currents

Visionary

The Girl Who Knew Too Much

The Overlooked

Alpha Pact

Lunar Ellipse

Anchors

More Bad than Good

Galvanize

Illuminated

Silverfinger

Riddled

Letharia Vulpina

Echo House

The Fox and the Wolf

De-Void

Insatiable

The Divine Move

Act 3

The Lost Hero

We Find An Amnesiac

My Girlfriend Gets Possessed

I Get the Worst Team Building Exercise Ever

I Go On (Another) Quest

Piper is a Badass

Elsa Is Worse Than Hans

Elsa’s Dad Wants to Kill Us

We Shop With Evil Barbie

I Almost Get Hypothermia from the Cheese Touch

The First Werewolf Tries to Kill Me (Again)

Thalia Gives Me The Talk(TM)

Mom Gives Me A Makeover (Again)

We Kill Enchiladas

Uncle Leo Gives Us Helicopter Lessons

Let It Go

We Pull a Jailbreak

Home

Piper is a Badass (Part 2)

Act 4

Teen Wolf Season 4

117

Muted

The Benefactor

I.E.D.

Orphaned

Weaponized

Time of Death

Perishable

Monstrous

A Promise to the Dead

Smoke and Mirrors

Act 5

The Mark of Athena

We Meet the Romans

We Blow Up A City

Leo Goes Crazy

We Meet Revenge

We Have A Conference About the Apocalypse

Jason Passes Out Again

Piper Performs An Exorcism

I Yell At Everyone

My Mom Gives Us Tea and War Advice

Squidward Attacks

We Discuss Camp Fish-Blood

Hercules Is A Zero

The Golden Boy

My Niece Rides A Tricycle

Musical Theater Is Way Too Stressful

The House of Hades

We Fall In A Pit

We Attend Tartarus Gym Class

Bob the Titan

We Get Showered With Wonderful Curses

Void Sucks

The Big Friendly Giant

Misery Loves Company

We Kill Someone With Kindness (and Poison)

We Are Annoying Tourists

Foes Bear Arms To The Doors Of Death

Two Demigods and a Goat Shadow Travel Off a Ship

The Blood of Olympus

Getting Back to Normal

We Kidnap Victory

We Fight Fear Himself

Jason Becomes a Salesperson

We Achieve Idiot Mode

I Say Goodbye

I Meet Not-Jackson

Reflections to Earthborn in 2.5 Seconds

The End of the World As We Know It

The Final Battle

I Go Home

Act 6

Teen Wolf Season 5

Creatures of the Night

Parasomnia

Dreamcatchers

Condition Terminal

A Novel Approach

Required Reading

Strange Frequencies

Ouroboros

Lies of Omission

Responsibilities

Amplification

Lie Ability

A Credible Threat

The Maid of Gévaudan

The Beast of Beacon Hills

Apotheosis

Teen Wolf Season 6

Memory Lost

Superposition

Sundowning

Relics

Radio Silence

Ghosted

Heartless

Blitzkrieg

Memory Found

Riders on the Storm

Said the Spider to the Fly

Raw Talent

After Images

Face-to-Faceless

Pressure Test

Triggers

Werewolves of London

Genotype

Broken Glass

The Wolves of War

Epilogue

[peak-dumbass]

Thoughts on Sons of Garmadon cuz redesigns :]

Also instead of watching all of the season and then adding my thoughts later I instead took notes while watch the season so that’s why this post is incredibly long, sorry about that :/

Anyway enjoy :>

Sorry for the accidental posting and I don’t want to rewrite everything so here’s from the original post

Lloyd reading the title of the episode also caught me off guard the first time I watched this

Basically Lloyd caught me off guard entirely the first time I watched this

Also his eyebrows are now THICC

“Still thirsty?”

...

I can see why people like Nya a lot (._.’)

Nya’s badass and f—king love her

Also the water bubbles she makes look really nice

Jay mimicking Cole is adorable

The first time we see them after a year and the first thing we see them do is argue and disturb a group of people that took a vow of silence 

I love them

“Did I call you at a bad time?” They’re in the middle of a fight with the mechanic, what do think?

Also Pixal calling Lloyd “Master Lloyd” :’/

“Whoever said fight fire with fire clearly didn’t know what they were talking about.” “Hey, you’re stealing my lines!” I love you Kai

“Who likes ice cream? I do! How was that line Kai?” I love you Zane

Them teasing Lloyd for his deeper voice and them just genuinely having family fun bonding time just fills me with such happiness that I can’t describe with words :’’’’’’’’>

Misako abandons Lloyd yet again, and she was just starting to act like a good mother in Hands of Time >:/

Jay is not understanding a single thing being said to him, but at least he’s trying 👌

Their excuse for not mentioning the royal family throughout the series is “they like their privacy”? Really? Like really? Are they expecting us to believe this bullish-t? 

Lloyd seeing Harumi for the first time: Can You Feel The Love Tonight🎶

Now Cole’s the only one who hasn’t had a crush in the series he is so gay and the writers can’t convince me otherwise

Can I just say the lighting for the inside of the place is beautiful? Cuz it is.

Also I just realized Cole’s the only ninja that isn’t wearing sleeves on his ninja suit, that’s cool👌

Since Harumi’s natural hair color is white, does that mean she’s albino?

“The maskes must never be reunited” Says the person who reunited the mask >:/ I know she’s acting good here but still

“No thank you, I actually gave up sweets. My body is a temple.” The moment I heard that for the first time I was like “WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO MY BOI?! WHO HAS HURT HIM?!”

Lloyd, stop stalking the princess, that’s illegal >:|

“Don’t worry, we’re ninja, we’re experts at this kind of thing” They proceed to loose the mask, let their main villain onto their ship, and Lloyd gets a crush on her :/

Grade A ninja-ing right there 👌👌👌

I’m on episode 2 and seeing Harumi acting nice and sweet and connecting with Lloyd and knowing that she’s faking all of it, I just feel so so so so bad for Lloyd :’<

Cole, don’t try to give Lloyd advice about girls when you aren’t even attracted to them

Ok so I procrastinated a bunch on doing this for some reason so Yee, let’s continue

I’ve only seen Mystake for 1 scene and if anything ever happens to her I’ll kill everyone in this room and myself

Oof I’m now sad and realize why everyone likes her

Ok so we all agree the tea Mystake gave Jay and Lloyd to see the drawings move is weed right? Or had weed in it?

Why is Cole hiding in a garbage bin when Zane is using a perfectly good newspaper? Also oh boy can’t wait to see Rocky DangerBuff and Snake Jaguar in action :3

The way Snake walked into the bar Jesus

and I’m trying to watch this without skipping it cuz to me the whole thing is very awkward and I can’t stand awkward stuff like this but I also heard there was glacier so I’m gonna try to watch this without yeeting my phone and burying my face in my pillow

Chloe: Snake is gorgeous and we stan

Me: I know he’s beautiful look at him, he’s amazing

He’s bad boi and baby boi at the same time and I love him

Just added Cole into a scene with the ninja when he’s actually still kidnapped by UV so noice job Ninjago HQ 👏👏👏

Zane looks so weird in the flash of Wu finding him dear god

Stop bothering him Cole, let Zane Rp as Snake for a little bit longer

DAD COLE DAD COLE DAD COLE DAD COLE DAD COLE DAD COLE

Cad is what Cole would have named the baby if it didn’t turn out to be Wu cuz Cole + Dad

Ali: "Why cad?" "Its cooler than Chad cause you take out the h for hoe"

Ali/clumsy you’re a genius

”you didn’t think it would that easy, did you?”

Guys is weird to think that UV is 100 times hotter after saying that line?

Mommy UV vs Dad Cole, Mommy UV is fighting Dad Cole for the baby

Oof I remember what’s gonna happen to Zane y’all and I’m not happy plz Mr.E stahp plz

Mr.E to the SOG after he kicks Zane’s ass: Guess who just got murdered!

“Not all men-“

Me: You’re right, Zane Ninjago would never do this

Mr.E: I’m on my way, I’m on my way, I’m on my way to kick Zane’s ass :D!

Cole is Pearl from SU confirmed, he was staring at baby Wu sleeping

Harumi: Maybe we can use this blanket at a Parachute?

Lloyd: What do this is a cartoon?!

Lloyd proceeds to do the exact thing he said wouldn’t work

Also Harumi is the best actor I’ve ever seen like seriously 10/10 👌 actor, playing with Lloyd’s heart strings like she’s been doing it for years

“How to be a heartbreaker” is Harumi’s jam and theme song

SO I WAS ADDING MY THOUGHTS ON HERE AND TUMBLR JUST DECIDED TO BE A LITTLE B-TCH AND CLOSE ON ME BEFORE I SAVED MY THOUGHTS AND NOW MY THOUGHTS ON HALF EPISODE 5 AND 6 ARE GONE OOF SO I’M JUST GONNA SAY THAT PIXAL IS HAVING SELF ESTEEM ISSUES OR SOMETHING SIMILAR AND SHE’S AMAZING AND IT’S MAKING ME SAD THAT ALL SHE SEES HERSELF AS ASSISTANCE AND NOTHING MORE

Also Lloyd falls onto a few branches and gets a hurt arm that requires a blanket while Nya was at the front of the ship with 0 protecction and was basically yeeted to the main deck while it crashed into the jungle and she doesn’t even get a break?!

I know Nya is stronger than Lloyd but GOSH DIDDLY DARN I didn’t know she was that STRONK!

Baby Wu: “Ninja never quit hehehehehe”

The ninja:

Lloyd: Confused Green Bean Noises

Harumi: kisses him on the cheek

Lloyd: •////• completely forgets what he was confused about

Harumi saved by lovestruck Lloyd and boners

Cole to Baby Wu: You took care of us, it’s only fair that we take care of you.

Me:

GOD I LOVE COLE HE’S AMAZING

Harumi and Lloyd during that one waterfall scene in Episode 6:

Also Harumi’s backstory for why she likes Garmadon and hates the ninja including Lloyd, it completely makes sense cuz she was a child that over heard that the ninja didn’t do sh-t and Garmadon saved the city so it makes sense why she hates the ninja and believes Garmadon should be Ninjago’s leader, and since it happened when she was young she didn’t think things through, she didn’t think about it from the ninja perspective and especially didn’t think about it from Lloyd’s perspective cuz she was a child, kids don’t tend to think about the other person’s perspective on things, so I think it makes sense and it’s really good 👌 also this is Ninjago’s first main female villain, all the other ones were either second in command or were in a crew that worked for a bigger villain so yeah that’s cool

“Don’t you guys have any idea what she’s doing? She’s resurrecting Garmadon! Lord Garmadon!” Yeah no sh-t Kai, the name of their gang is “Sons of Garmadon”, of course they know and of course they’re ok with it why do think they’re helping her?

“Then it’s a good thing the Quiet One isn’t a bad guy but a bad girl” It doesn’t matter that Pythor, Chen, Morro, and Garmadon had dicc, what matters is that the greater evil didn’t listen to them dipsh-t.

Harumi screams a lot, like Princess Peach/Damsel-in-distress amount of high pitch screaming and I’m surprised Lloyd or the other ninja haven’t told her to shut up at one point.

a slightly dark room suddenly turns a little bit darker

Harumi:

Lloyd: Jesus even when I was a kid I had tougher skin then you, I know this is a little hypocritical for my to say, but grow the f—k up god

Ok woah woah woah, how did Lloyd go from “I didn’t tell you about the fact that I’m part Oni, Mystake only told me and Jay” to “You’re the Quiet One” like he isn’t wrong but how did he put it together in such little amount of time?

Ok this is how the Lloyd vs Harumi fight should have gone down:

Lloyd: Give me a good reason not do destroy it right now.

Harumi: I’ll give you 2. You want to see your father again and you love me.

Lloyd: HAH! While you busy being a heterosexual b-tch I studied the blade!

Lloyd kicks Harumi’s ass and the day is saved

Am I wrong? Lloyd only met Harumi a couple of days ago, it’s like Anna from Frozen but LEGOs

“Love is an open door” is Llorumi shippers theme song

“I WANT YOU TO FEEL THE EMPTINESS THAT I FEEL”

B-TCH HAVE YOU NOT SEEN HIS F—KING CHILDHOOD HE HAS MORE TRAUMA THEN YOU WILL EVER GET YOUR F—KING LIFE TIME!!!

I KNOW SHE IS A FICTIONAL CHARACTER AND THAT SHE HASN’T SEEN HIS LIFE LIKE WE HAVE BUT DAMN IF IT ISN’T ACTIVATING MY PROTECC-LLOYD-AT-ALL-COSTS-AND-THAT-THIS-IS-TOTAL-BULLSH-T INSTINCTS

“Or we’ll have to get all ninja on you!” “What does that even mean?” “I don’t know I was improvising” Tbh that’s a mood Kai, at least to me

Lloyd: Guys, Rumi is the Quiet One!

The ninja who are currently surrounded by the SOG including Harumi: Oh really, ya don’t say?

Lloyd just got yeeted out of a waterfall so it sorta makes sense why he didn’t notice

Lloyd said I won’t let you get away with this and Harumi said YEET

They have Lloyd they have the masks and we have trouble

Baby Wu: Puppy!

that ain’t a puppy Sensei it’s a giant underwater scorpion monster

I forgot they tamed the giant underwater scorpion monster and named it Crabby, and Jay hugged one of Crabby’s claws, Jay’s favorite pet the ninja have ever had is Crabby confirmed

“So this is your true face without the mask, no wonder you covered it” Damn Lloyd is salty, LET LLOYD SAY F—K 2020

Chloe: Lloyd said "bitch u ugly" poetically

Me: Yeah, he got the saltiness from Kai and the poetic speech from Zane

“There was never anything between us”

One episode earlier

“You want your father back, and you love me”

One episode earlier

Harumi kisses Lloyd on cheek and proteccs him from the corrupted Samurai X suit

Me:

Harumi gets close to Lloyd

Me: KICK HER IN THE NONEXISTENT BALLS

Yay the most useful and totally not child abandoning character, Misako, is here and giving Lloyd information that he already knew and is being incredibly useful buy not only abandoning Lloyd for a second time in his life but also finding Baby Wu for the SOG Hooray

“Stop Rumi, this isn’t you!” B-tch you’ve only known her for a couple of days, and she has played with your heart, in dangered your friends, and tried to kill you and your friends on multiple occasions, and she nearly succeeded on killing Zane (though tbh Zane gets nearly killed every season so that isn’t a surprise)

“You were right, this isn’t me” YOU SERIOUSLY BELIEVED HE’LL FALL FOR THAT BULLSH-T AGAIN? AFTER YOU TRIED TO DROWN HIM AND HIS MOM WHILE SUMMONING HIS EVIL DAD FROM THE DEAD? HAH, B-TCH YOU THOUGHT!

“Stop. Save it for someone who cares” Yesssssss I love youuuuuuu by baby boiiiiii

Sees the arm coming out of the anvil-thing

Me: Terminator Garmadon? Also this is what happens when we complain too much, we also gotta be more specific people! We can’t ask for just Garmadon, we need to ask for Good/Sensei Garmadon or else we’ll get bullsh-t like this!

THE SCENE OF THE NINJA SINGING WEEKEND WHIP JUST PLAYED AND THE HAPPY WHOLESOME VIBES AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Also there’s no way harumi gets the resurrection spell right on the first try, like no way, impossible, like she even gets interrupted by Lloyd and the ninja at the end and then Garmadon appears after that? Like I’m not a witch/wizard myself but I’m pretty sure that’s not how spells work? You don’t just start a spell, stop before the spell is finished, and the spell still works :/

Also how the hecc did Garmadon know where to find Harumi? It was never explained, he just like punched his way into the police station and was like “Yo b-tch what’s up?”

“I can turn him once, I can turn him again” ends up getting his ass handed to him and nearly dieing for the millionth time in his life

“That sounds like a really bad idea” “And Kai knows bad ideas, he’s full of them” Oof Kai just got roasted

“Lloyd, what are you doing?” “I’m sorry, Nya. I have to confront him” OOF HE REALLY DID JUST PULL A KAI DIDN’T HE

I’m not gonna quote everything Lloyd says here cuz there’s too much but DAMN HE’S REALLY PISSED OFF AND IS REALLY DOING A KAI JESUS

I know we all wanted Sensei Garmadon back but I’m ngl this Garmadon looks really cool and gives really good evil speeches to unmotivate his opponent

OOF Y’ALL REALLY HAD TO ADD LLOYD HOLDING OUT THE PHOTO OF HIM AND GARMADON WITH LLOYD STRUGGLING SAYING “FATHER” AND THE PHOTO GOING INTO THE WIND DIDN’T Y’ALL MY HEART CAN’T TAKE THAT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AND I STILL HAVE TO MAKE IT THROUGH EPISODE 10 WHERE I KNOW LLOYD’S HEART IS GONNA BE RIPED OUT OF HIS CHEST AND STOMPED ON WITH A SPIKED SHOE

F—K HARUMI F—K NINJAGO HQ F—K EMPEROR GARMADON F—K THE SOG JUST LEAVE MY POOR BABY ALONE

Y’all I don’t think I can make it through the next episode f—k man

Holy f—k I forgot Emperor Garmadon reads the title card in episode 10 oof

“Not so fast!” “‘No so fast”?! You used that ages ago!” True, it sucked then and it sucks now

“My brother is coming” “How do you know?” “I know” Dang even baby Wu doesn’t tell people sh-t

“You sure you’re up for this?” “I was married to him once, I’m up for anything” Ok so you’re saying that as if you were the one that was treated badly in that relationship and not the other way around like it should be but whatever floats your boat pal

“Careful!” “Are you actually doubting my ability to closely approximate the true value of our surroundings? I’m a nindroid.” Damn Zane is pissed

COLE LITERALLY JUMPED OFF THE BOUNTY TO CATCH BABY WU NOT KNOWING JAY WAS GONNA CATCH HIM AKA HE WOULD HAVE DIED FOR BABY WU I’M SCREAMING GOD I LOVE COLE

Ok so Lloyd you are excellent at fabulous/eat-a-dicc-b-tch exits like wow 👏👏👏👏👏

Also the scene with the 4 OG ninja and Baby Wu traveling to the first realm looks really really nice ngl

All in all I really really like this season, it’s great 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏

[firebirdsdaughter]

Random Writing Tidbit This is Bad…

… New discovery. If you try to edit a ‘read more’ post on mobile? Tumblr erases the whole post.

Okay. Let’s try this again. I still blame this on @thornstone8773 for giving me the idea.

This partially heavily based on a scene from Killjoys. Yes, I am still thinking about Killjoys.

This is set in the ‘human Jin raised by HumaGear Horobi’ AU, and deals w/ after the end, so I kinda inserted general, hazy epilogues for everyone:

In this version, Thouser was the big bad, so after they took him down, Yua took over ZAIA. Fuwa started working w/ Aruto as part of Hiden’s security (partially bc of a comment I saw about him becoming Aruto’s bodyguard and it stuck). Aruto keeps running Hiden Intelligence. Jin and Horobi kinda help him out/are both in rehab/are under his supervision. The promise Horobi mentions later in this essentially boils down to ‘stop trying to cause human extinction/killing humans = BAD.’

You know, the usual.

This comes across as pretty sad… Kinda. Maybe it is.

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For a while after, things were difficult.

He found himself answering the same questions over and over, weathering the same suspicious stares. He didn’t like how people looked at Horobi—like he was was a bomb that they expected to go off at any moment. Aruto had to remind him often that the transition was as hard for everyone else as it was for them. Trust was hard to relearn, for both sides.

For his part, Horobi made an effort. He was generally indifferent to his infamy, already long accustomed to suspicion and coldness from humans—but for his adopted son’s sake, he made deliberate attempts to assuage their fears and fit in. Even when it was clear to anyone who knew he’d rather be in the company of Fuwa—one of the few to whom he felt he had nothing to prove—he’d put on a face to try and keep others at ease. He even tried to smile a  few times, though that rarely went over well.

As time went on, however, people stopped staring so much. Months fell away, turning into years. Memory didn’t exactly fade, but altered. There was less fear and more marvel. But that wasn’t the only things that changed.

People who didn’t recognise them would ask if Horobi was his brother, starting at some point in his thirties. Horobi had never paid much mind to such questions to begin with, so Jin often found himself recounting the explanation multiple times, while Horobi hovered like a ghost at his elbow. Out of all of them, Horobi and Izu remained the same; timeless while the humans around them steadily altered. Aruto had to politely force Fuwa, the eldest of them, to retire from his new position as Hiden’s security head when it was clear the demands were too much for him—even after that, though, Fuwa stayed close, watching the Hiden CEO like an unofficial bodyguard. Yaiba was up and about even longer, rustling around ZAIA’s offices like a queen, not slowing down at all. She laughed and said it was because women lived longer—Fuwa shot back that it was because it was her.

Horobi said nothing about the expanding differences in their appearances, merely retuning his hyper awareness of his adoptive son to look for new things, always already offering help before Jin would even know he needed it. He even offered to carry Jin a few times, like he had was Jin was small, but Jin put a stop to that in his early fifties. Horobi was strong enough, but it didn’t seem right anymore. Around then, he also stopped giving proper answers when people misinterpreted their relationship.

When he was in his sixties, he slipped on the sidewalk, and though some passersby rushed forward to help, it was, as always, Horobi who caught him instantly, gently pulling him back up.

“Such a dutiful son!” A woman nearby had exclaimed.

Horobi ignored her, but Jin couldn’t resist glancing over and giving her a small smile. “Yes.” He said, “I am.” Her eyes had bugged out. Later, Horobi hadn’t understood why it was funny—but Horobi never understood why anything was funny.

As he got even older, there was an unspoken tension in the air. For the first time, they were both confronting something neither had considered before; being separated. Horobi, he knew, wouldn’t say anything, still so afraid of accidentally pressuring Jin into something, constantly doubting himself. That meant it fell upon Jin to broker the conversation, something he made plans to do.

Until he started getting sick, and their balance shattered.

The doctors the others dragged him to concluded it was some sort of delayed response to exposure to radiation. Something that had been building in his body all those years at Daybreak that was finally breaking free as he got older and weaker. He considered trying to hide it from Horobi, until Izu looked him in the eye and informed him that if she had noticed, there was no way Horobi hadn’t.

He was quickly confined to a hospital—moving hurt, and he was tired all the. Horobi was, s always, never far away, and the others came to visit often. Yaiba had finally retired—partially, Fuwa would always add with a chuckle until she smacked him with something. Aruto was starting to ease out of his duties as CEO, needing to lean more and more on Izu just to get around. Jin didn’t know what Aruto was planning to do—but he knew the idea he had had, even before the illness set in, and he knew Aruto still had the power to make it happen.

“… It’s possible.” The Hiden CEO admittedly, slowly. “My father…” Aruto trailed off there, and Jin waited patiently for him to find his voice again. Aruto didn’t really talk about his father—at least, not to anyone other than Izu or Fuwa—and it was better not to push him. “… It’s possible.” He finally continued, sighing slightly. “And we’ve made even more advancements in the field. But…” He looked sideways at Jin then. “Are you sure? It’s not exactly something you can take back.” Speaking was effort, but Jin carefully met Aruto’s eyes and nodded. Aruto studied him, then sighed again. “Alright. But there’s someone who wants to talk to you first.” The Hiden CEO shifted his seat to reveal the doorway.

Horobi was standing by Izu’s shoulder, looking distraught, for him.

Jin looked back at Aruto accusingly, dragging his voice out to demand, “You told Horobi?”

A small smile flitted across Aruto’s face. “Well, see, I need parental permission on the form…” He stopped when he saw Jin’s incredulous look. “… You should have told him.” Turning his head, Aruto signalled Izu, who came over and helped him up. “I’ll let you two discuss this,” He told them, “Call me if there’s a decision.” Then he and his secretary made their way out, with his arm around her shoulders, slipping past Horobi and out the door.

For a long time, silence filled the room. Then, slowly, Horobi crossed the floor, sitting beside his bed, and taking Jin’s nearest hand in both of his.

“You don’t have to do this for me.” Horobi’s hands were actually warm on his, unlike the usual room temperature, the HumaGear putting conscious effort into trying to make him as comfortable as possible. “I will stay by your side until the very end, hold your hand when you pass on.” The hold on his hand tightened, though the pressure was, as always, carefully measured so as not to hurt him. “I will remember my promise—I will watch over them, guard them. Justice will be done, cities built, and a future made in your name.” One of the perfectly temperature-controlled hands moved to tenderly touch his cheek. “You are my son. I will be your legacy, and you will not be forgotten.”

He looked back into the HumaGear’s eternally weary eyes. It was hard to remember his younger days, when Horobi had been so hard to read, all blank and ominous. Now detecting the sorrow in those eyes was as natural as breathing—perhaps even more so, by this point. There was also something else there, hiding just behind the thick curtains of forlorn affection; guilt. The like of which he had seen before. “But…?” He prompted softly, voice even hoarser than usual.

Horobi’s gaze faltered, flicking downward.

A laugh bubbled from him, one that even almost sounded like his old childish giggles, just a little more breathless. Even as tired as he was, his lips pulled into a smile. Slowly, he freed one arm from the blankets, reaching over to cup Horobi’s face and gently lift it back up to meet his eyes again. “… But if I leave…” He whispered, running his thumb across the HumaGear’s cheek, “… Horobi will be lonely again.”

Horobi still couldn’t weep—but Jin knew for certain he heard his adoptive father’s breathing hitch.

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… Or, maybe it isn’t.

At least, that ending is supposed to be kinda hopeful. Kinda.

Hopefully it’s also at least kinda clear what Jin’s idea is. I may have made it rather obvious. ^^;